#no matter how awful someone has treated me or how uncomfortable i am with them actually blocking them is like pulling teeth

[pinkfey]

i’m trying to look into the reasons behind why it’s so difficult for me to block people i know beyond the internet which sucks because all i get are quora questions like “is it okay for me to block someone for harassing me 🥺” or alternatively “blocking people on social media is cowardly” neither of which have much to do w the question i’m asking 😭

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hallo again! I am the one who asked about Val, it wasn't a request I was asking if you write for him so here we go!

Could it please be where reader is Valentino's son ( or just child if you don't write for male reader ) and Valentino can't find someone to trust-worthy to babysit his son so he just take him to work since reader is non-verbal anyway and won't be much of a bother?

So reader now comes regularly with him and see the other Vees as family. Perhaps Vox as another dad/uncle and Velvette as a big sister ( or any family role for them ).

Thank you for giving a look to my request!

Ooh! Right! Okay, okay. I can try this out. To be honest, Val is a monster but something tells me he wouldn’t be THAT bad with a kid of his own and yes, I do write male readers. Female, male, transgender, genderfluid(if that’s possible, idk how but I would do it anyway), nonbinary/GN! But anyways. Let’s try Val out as a dad!

Valentino- Silkworm Caterpillar

Everybody who knows the director of the Pentagram City’s Porn Industry, Valentino, is aware how much of a bastard he is; cruel, abusive, exploitative but nobody had ever suspected that he would actually one: have a son and two: treat that son better than he’s ever treated anybody, even his on-and-off boyfriend, Vox

Your dad’s an insufferable man-child but yet, he is actually pretty good with you. He doesn’t really like much things, other than you. He is awful but he feels kinda soft and fluffy whilst he is around you. You’re basically his soft spot

Valentino needs hugs and he will get them, no matter what may step in his path. You are non-verbal and mute so he cannot communicate with you properly, he just acts on his affections for you since he believes it’s fine

Valentino is that type of wingman-father. He always encourages you to get out of your comfort zone and boosts you up to look even better. He’s a close friend to you and you can hang out with him in casual settings where it almost seems like he is just your uncle, not your father

Valentino always offers to get you what you want, he is a father that spoils his seed rotten. Want a drink? He’ll get it. Want a phone? He’ll get it. Want more hugs? You’re getting them rather you want ‘em or not. He likes it when you smile and he does very much have favouritism towards you, where he almost never raises his voice to you

Valentino is actually protective, believe it or not and he is defensive over his son. Rather said son be above ten years old, he doesn’t trust a single being in Hell. Not anybody in Vees, not any under their luck bum he picks up for hire, not any one of his assistants. Nobody. He doesn’t ever want to leave you with somebody who can cause a threat

Valentino doesn’t really want to resort to this but after some more time. He decides to stop leaving you in the Vees Tower. You’re alone and you need him so he begins to bring you to his porn studios but what he does is that he glues you to other devices so you don’t have to be uncomfortable with watching pornography

Valentino is relatively soft and gentle. Even somebody as deranged and sick as him has a moment of love and affection and it’s in his son. He could be the most pissed off and at his absolute worse but when he is greeted by his offspring, he swallows back everything to be doting to you

Valentino calls you his silkworm because you’re a little caterpillar to him. He’s the moth, you’re his caterpillar and he’d pop you on his back and spread his wings for you if he had to. He enjoys your reaction of surprise and awe at his rather beautiful moth wings. He can understand where it comes from, it’s incredible. Isn’t it? He likes it when you’re proud of him or in awe of him

Valentino is aware of your deafness. You’ve been deaf since he had you… back in human life. Believe it or not, but he did and he actually cared to get you hearing aids but after you two died, he lost a hold of hearing aids and he has literally no other methods to help you

Valentino also much prefers you like the Vees themselves and the effort proves worth it since you end up viewing his on-and-off boyfriend, Vox as a stepfather and Velvette, their close friend, as a surrogate big sister. Valentino finds your point of views on his fellow rulers rather adorable and will playfully tease you about them

Valentino is learning sign language, since now of this time, sign language has been fully developed but he is struggling and his temper makes him go from trying to giving up to trying again. He’ll get there eventually, all for you

Valentino out here doing aggressive sign language and failing a whole lot

[kaiju-krew]

Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)

I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.

hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time

anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)

shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.

sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’

i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.

as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.

DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO

i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.

i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙

goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it

i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu

SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10

[ezrazone]

making this non-rebloggable and may delete it, but i do want to talk about my first experience as a literary critic because i think it matters despite my wanting nothing to do with the subject of the piece for as long as i live. this is not a callout or a call to action. please be advised to leave this guy alone. i can forgive them now that their behavior towards me has stopped.

this past winter, ahead of my first article as a comics critic, i very naively hoped to have a conversation with another cartoonist about the philosophical ideas their latest book is wrestling with. i ended up having a tense but respectful discussion with the author, which they then chose to lie about to both their twitter audience for sympathy and then in outrage via emails to my editor at the online journal in hopes of having me blacklisted or getting the review censored or scrubbed. it went nowhere (except a small handful of petty comments on the article itself, parroting the version of events that the author invented for twitter) and an internal investigation at the journal, which yielded the obvious (that the claims were completely fabricated, as evidenced by our written correspondences on either side of an uncomfortable phone-call and the actual review which is critical but not malicious or personal).

i think it’s very easy to get wrapped up in the indignity of the experience and the horror-magnet of this individual personality. i think i got off pretty easy; this is not someone with a great deal of power or influence (i am far from the first person to trigger their tar-pit behavior on twitter), it never followed me to other social media, and i got to keep my article up because it was fair and professional. i still have my job as a freelancer with the journal.

but i think something matters from my experience, beyond the interpersonal confusion - i cannot possibly understand why they behaved the way they did and will lose my mind if i try. but what i do have is new insight into the way that people are prone to covet acceptance via professional work, how the myth of creating something genius in isolation promises to resolve all of your personal and spiritual issues - and how “bad reception” (or merely insightful reception, or reception you personally disagree with as a creative worker) appears to threaten your safety and your sanity.

being begged by someone who has published multiple substantial graphic novels - achievements i am nowhere close to undertaking myself at this point in my creative development - not to “cancel them” by writing a completely warranted review of their hugely ambitious comics project was like having a bucket of ice water dumped on my own delusions of grandeur. this awful social interaction has begun a chain reaction of ego deaths in me that only seem to accelerate as i wrangle pieces of my health from the jaws of my long covid crash last year.

i cannot possibly care about being Da King of Comics anymore. it’s just fucking comics.

anyways you can read my review on SOLRAD. and you are obviously advised to leave the artist alone. i think it’s very cool, actually, that i was able to walk away from an encounter like that knowing that 1) i treated this person during our actual encounters with respect, compassion, curiosity and consideration and 2) that i would write a fair review no matter how much they thrashed and cursed me and begged me to become a part of their annihilation fantasies. i have never felt more clear on who i am or what my work is capable of.

i hope by sharing about my experience that i do not re-provoke this person, since writing the review at all sent them into a blackout rage of self-pity and entitlement for several weeks. i have never described them publicly as they actually treated me, but i don’t think i’ve become a better person by sitting on it. maybe this can be part of me letting them go.

i still find the book interesting. i could have written an article that was 5x the length of the one on SOLRAD and not even scratched the surface of how meaningful the book is to me. isn’t that kind of sad, that these characters could have lived on through me or through anybody? i could have made comics about it, new drawings and illustrations to heighten the things that worked while acknowledging the things that cannot work.

we are so culturally petrified of subjective audience experiences and transformative work. we are so wedded to our own egos, to being regarded as individually pure and infallible. it’s a huge disservice to the work we actually make, which is so much bigger than this individual’s emotional response to embarrassing themselves in front of a colleague.

they admitted to me over the phone that they had not read any single philosopher name-checked in their book. they had only listened to breadtube playlists. i had not pressed very hard; just listened, just observed them openly. the next four months would be colored by their own horror at this admission of their own incuriosity and what they feared i might do with it. they’d call me an “adult bully” in their twitter takedown, hreatening to “kick their corpse” by calling them “a bigot” and by “refusing to explain why”. i had only accepted them as they were and promised to treat their work with respect and dignity.

i declined, over the phone, to give this person experiencing severe emotional distress a new reading list. they reacted as if, because they perceived me as “knowing better”, i was doing violence to them by not immediately teaching them all that i know. instead, i outright rejected the framing that there was something wrong with their book because they had not “read enough” and instead tended to their emotional well-being, reassuring them that i cared for their future as an artist and took the review seriously. they were able to calm down as we spoke and they thanked me for being a safe person. they seem to have changed their mind later, after the story underwent several escalating permutations.

we’re all doing enough. we can do more, when we accept that our work is already in other people’s hands. my plea to the proto anne rices of the world. rice said she obliterated all of that fan work and fan discussion from the internet with her massive legal financial and social power because she was worried that reading something about her work might cause her writer’s block.

you can make something exceptionally wonderful and it will matter very little if you cannot share it. allow it to be witnessed. allow somebody to disagree with it. make work with the expectation that most people will not understand it. world peace my final message etc

[venjt]

A form of SH? (Self-harm?)

I wouldn't say it's a form of self-harm. Actually, the opposite! It's a form of self-care! From my experience and from friends' experiences, it's a coping mechanism that helps with our trauma. If antis, think we're making fun of the problematic themes that's far, far from truth, and a very harsh thing to think! If people make fun of problematic situations, then that's a problem, and I wouldn't want to associate myself with such a person.

I hope Antis knows that proships are against harassment in general and respect others with different opinions. (Or they should be. That's the definition, lol.) If a proshipper is threatening you, then they're just a shit person and don't belong in a no harassment zone while harassing. Yet somehow, I often see antis like to use their catchphrase "KYS" all the time. I find such attitude to be awful no matter proship/anti/neutral whatever. Harassment is bad. No one deserves to be called a "good person" if someone says awful things to other human beings.

But like I said, it's a selfcare kind of activity in fiction. It's a safe way to control or explore the dark themes in fiction. It's a healthy way to express the trauma without hurting oneself or others. Some antis don't know this, but when you've experienced trauma, it has to come out somehow one way or another. People don't necessarily HAVE to like dark themes to express or cope with their trauma. Everyone copes differently. Some happen to enjoy / cope with taboo subjects in the fictional space. Which there is no shame. Your fictional taste does not reflect your morals (obviously, lol).

This brings me to another topic, Antis, who believes that if a proship likes the taboo subjects in fiction (ex: incest, age gap, what else? Victim and murder? Lol, there's so much that antis doesn't like.), that it means they like it in real life. That's, again, untrue. Your fictional interest doesn't mean you like it in real life. So that brings the question, "Why do they like it in fiction then?". Well, like I said before, often, it's a coping mechanism. Other times, people just like it in the fictional world. Perhaps there's more or less to it, but it's not anyone's job to understand the why. And if you find it uncomfortable thats complety valid! There are some things I find uncomfortable. That's when we have the power to block and remove ourselves from looking and reading things that we are not okay with. LITERALLY. Like we don't have to intrude a "problematic" artists media if we KNOW what they draw! Or read something that says "non-con warning" or anything WITH a WARNING SIGN THATS THE POINT OF WARNING SIGNS AAAH ⚠️

My thing is, if you're a nice person who respects others and doesn't harm others, then you're good in my book lol I don't understand furries, but if they never hurt a person or never been disrespectful to your surroundings then you're gucci. I have some friends who I don't understand their fictional world, but they've been nothing but sweet to me. Who am I to judge their fictional interest if they as a person treat me better than many other actual human beings lol

Also

Proshippers are aware of what's right and what's wrong in real life. We don't like predators, or incest, or victim x murderers in real life. DUH! Antis, we're on the same page. We don't like those kinds of people! We keep telling them, but somehow, many of them can't differentiate reality and fiction, which to me I find that to be a very, VERY big problem in today's time. If the line of fiction and reality is blurred, then how can people express their creative freedom without having to take a chance of being a "problematic person" or getting accused of harsh things. Also HOW YA GONNA FACE REALITY WHEN RENT IS DUE NEXT WEEK?! If a person is a problem to another human being, then that's valid to stand up and speak out. Uh, with evidence ofc. Don't just spread around "so and so is a Predat0r because they like so and so ship." Fiction isn't evidence. People will look at you weird if you claim a person is a problem and provide a drawing of Plantcest LMAO. People are gonna be confused why you're showing a drawing to them.

Policing others on what's right and wrong in a FICTIONAL SPACE like that's a problem itself! They're fighting ghost problems and threatening REAL PEOPLE for their interests, and that doesn't sound like a healthy space for anyone. Activism is good, but to the fictional space where it doesn't affect people in their day to day life if very concerning. Hence, why people say "touch grass".

Not every proshippers are good people. Just like not every antis are good people. Every group have their problems. This whole black and white view is unrealistic. No one is perfect. No victim is perfect. No "unproblematic" person is perfect. The world is grey or as I like the world is rainbow.

This is very long lol

In conclusion, proshippers aren't self harming for indulging dark themes. It's a self-help (many therapists would recommend it). Self-harm is threatening others and policing others what YOU think is okay or not. Self harm is also avoiding your trauma and avoiding your fictional interest because others pressure you to think how they do. You're a person with your own mind. Allow yourself to express how you do and don't let others tell you how to think, feel, and tell you what to do. You're human. I'm human.

FICTION ≠ REALITY and be kind to each other! There's more to life than to get mad over what others like lol take a chill pill and think about what you want to make of this world!

Okay, have a great day, yall!

[intersex-questions]

it's really stressful for me ask and i feel weird. if it's possible, tell if my words are intersexist. also i will use vague terms or censorship sometimes, because some words are extremely uncomfortable for me (but it's not because i see them as slurs or bad words overall).

CWs: gender dysphoria, AGAB terms, intersexism (?), went (?), long post

i have a pcos. (or... i have had pcos?)

and... it's both dysphoric and not.

i feel like the word "intersex" is really me, but i feel guilty using it. like i'm not intersex enough. like i'm not intersex at all. like i'm stealing something from actually intersex people.

also my condition reminds me that is so-called "AFAB" intersex variation. and i feel extremely dysphoric people knowing i am so-called "AFAB". i hate people knowing about some of my traits that are connected with it. i hate mentioning what i was like when i was born. i hate "AGAB" terms overall. i hate i can't use AIAB (not because of someone, but because of moral block of some kind).

i've started to treat some of my uh... "painful results" of having pcos, but it increase some of my traits i consider dysphoric. so now i'm in the middle of nowhere. (oh my god it is so vague, i'm sorry)

and for some reason... posts like "trans-intersex people will never be intersex, you will always be p_____x/d____c, you was born not intersex" make me want to cry. i might even say... it is triggering me. calling myself d____c or p____ex feels painful.

and it feels so bad. i know intersex people have a right to say it. and non-intersex people should know these boundaries. but at the same time... i can't really engage with intersex related posts safely. (i feel like i'm trying to silence you right now.)

in the end, i can't use "intersex" towards myself now due to my... guilt. and i can't use p___sex or dy___c either, because I'd rather die. i can't even call myself "questioning". because i know i have (or i had? if i'm not on meds now?) pcos. i can't use "altersex" because i see too many (useful and needed in fact) posts about difference between altersex and intersex.

i'm sorry.

Hi there,

You have nothing to be sorry for. I hear your pain and I am sorry (sympathy) that you have had to endure all of this. That is awful and no one should have to deal with that.

There are a few things I'd like to say. First, my primary perspective is that you are intersex, no matter what. PCOS is an inherently intersex condition in mine and many other intersex people's beliefs. This is an inclusionist perspective intersex blog, so keep in mind that yes, there are more exclusionary intersex people who will disagree. But you will also find many, many intersex people view PCOS as inherently intersex. And, especially in the ways you describe, it seems like it definitely affects you in a way that is relevant to being intersex.

It is really hard sometimes to work through that guilt. I know when I first started using the term intersex and realizing I was, I felt like I was faking it. I felt like I was taking a term from a community I wasn't part of and that I was just desperate to feel included or be part of something or check off a "diversity" point and many other sentiments that can from internalized homophobia (as in the whole community) and internalized intersexism.

I know that personally, I also have really struggled because going on HRT for trans+ reasons has made many of my intersex traits seem like something that's just "normal" because they kind of blend in with typical results from the HRT I'm on. But that doesn't erase the experiences I've had my whole life. That doesn't erase how my body naturally is. I don't owe anything to anyone else about my body. I do not owe justifications, reasonings, or explanations as to why I am intersex. It is no one else's business how I am intersex other than my own.

If people ever ask you how or why you're intersex, you do not know them that explanation. Even if they are intersex themselves. To me, it is akin to asking a trans person if they're on HRT, what surgeries they've had, etc. It's a personal invasive question that's not their business unless you want to share with them.

Trans intersex people are just as intersex as cisgender intersex people, and honestly, those kinds of sentiments are deeply confusing as part of the point of the intersex community and definition of it is to break down binaries and rigid boxes like sex, rather than reinforce them by reinforcing something like being cisgender or transgender. Intersex people do NOT have a right to be transphobic just because they are intersex. They do NOT have a right to be exclusionary and gatekeeping just because they are intersex.

PCOS in itself is a condition that can't be cured. Even if you showed no symptoms of it, you would still have PCOS. And even if somehow you WERE cured, it would not erase the experiences you had had with it before. You would still have lived an intersex life. Someone with hyperandrogenism going on testosterone for trans+ reasons does not erase their lived experience they had before going on testosterone.

I hope I managed to cover and address most of what you sent in. I wish you the best and again, I'm so sorry you've had to endure that all. You are absolutely welcome in the intersex community and you are completely allowed to use the intersex label. You are also allowed to use altersex if you want! They are not mutually exclusive. I identify as both intersex and altersex personally.

[streetkid-named-desire]

Rat, it’s a blessing that you were removed from the server because you’re STILL stirring drama proving exactly why you got booted. We made the right decision, you are a black hole void of drama and it never stops with you.

You sure are tough when you’re saying horrible things about everyone else and talking shit then you run and cry to tumblr with your “waa waa why everyone so mean to me =(“ at any minor criticism or when someone tells you to stop making them uncomfortable. Get a mirror and look at it real good because you are awful.

how am i the one still stirring up drama when i stopped posting about it on like tuesday outside of some personal reflections about social skills and being autistic lol

yesterday someone replied to a post, two days after i stopped talking about it, that i deleted and blocked the individual. today, three days later after my last post, i get this anon.

all i did was defend myself from a public accusation that i was purposefully spreading misinformation. then i get banned and blocked for something i had no idea i was doing outside of the p**ky shit because no one told me it was upsetting. and so because i couldnt defend directly and talk through whatever the fuck was going on and settle shit amicably and like mature adults i posted my reply

the only drama i take responsibility for actually starting is the shit with the flat chest lol anything else has just been me using my personal blog as a personal blog where i talk about my thoughts and feelings around the game and writing and modding and people more popular than me in modding

i really do not understand this obsession with me. is it because i refuse to back down? refuse to conform? refuse to make myself palatable? like sorry im abrasive? sorry im uncompromising? sorry i stand up to bullies and am open about my distaste in the social fabric of the modding community?

i dont think you people understand how tumblr works and how personal blogs work and what it means to vent on tumblr? maybe you should get your own outlet to also scream into the void like me so you can be normal and courteous and nice in your direct one on one interactions. you know, compartmentalize your shit and just treat each other like coworkers you dont like.

anyway, stop looking at my blog and finding things to pick at lol it doesn't matter. none of this fucking matters y'know? it's a fun hobby. just let it be a fun hobby.

something that is very painful but very good to cultivate is resisting the urge to have the last word, like you're trying to do now. it's especially hard if you're prone to rejection sensitive dysphoria but here are some cognitive behavioral skills that can help too (CBT gets a bad rap for like trauma therapy especially but it is useful when your thoughts actually aren't helpful and are irrational)

Perspective: Remind yourself it really, truly doesn't matter and is an actual waste of your time and energy. You deserve to feel good and arguing and cyberbullying and shit just makes you feel bad. I should know, I was a cyberbully in my early 20s exactly because I was so so deeply depressed. But, whatever conflict you got going on is just a blip on the radar as my mom would say.

Do you have all the facts? If you're sitting there and stressing and making assumptions about how someone feels or what they think, remind yourself that you can't read minds. There's no point in stressing if you don't have all the facts.

It's okay for people to be wrong about you: Not everyone has to like you or approve of you. It's normal to want that from your peers, but you have to learn to be comfortable with that not being the case. Again, perspective. Unless it's someone you genuinely care about and want to maintain a relationship with, it doesn't matter!

Let the emotions wash over you like a wave: This one is the absolute hardest, especially if you're autistic, because it's such a physically rotten feeling. But it will help. Put the phone away, lay down, and just cry. Don't be afraid of your feelings. Imagine you're in the sand at a beach, close to the tide, and just let the feelings wash over you and your body like a warm, soothing wave. They'll go away, you just gotta feel through them first.

idk it just sucks to see this because i've been where you are and it truly does just make you and your life so much worse. it will make you happier to just let shit go. to just move on. to accept that people are allowed to and may not like you and that's fine. they don't matter. i don't matter to you. i'm not doing anything but sitting here writing my little stories, taking my little pics, making my little mods, and just having fun. and occasionally venting!

move on with your life. i mean nothing to you anymore. i have no nefarious plans or deeds against you. that's why i blocked you on everything. because i don't care anymore.

and yet here we are with an anon message three days after i posted my last reflection about being autistic in fandom.

[andromeda3116]

It’s an older fic of yours but Such Selfish Prayers is a great work that inspired me to be a better person and to have healthy boundaries, could probably say it was definitely at the start of my healing journey

I am so glad to hear that, truly. such selfish prayers is probably the most important fic I've ever written, which came as a bit of a surprise, because, as I've said before, I started it simply out of frustration with how Katara was treated in canon. I never expected to change anyone's life with it, and it's been very humbling to realize that my words have touched thousands of people. I've gotten many comments saying how readers were inspired by it, or given hope in a dark time, or even that it made them realize they wanted to pursue a different career. That it started your healing process kind of brings tears to my eyes, I'm so glad that I was able to help you.

One of the things I put into that fic was my own recent break-up and how I was processing it myself -- how do you deal with someone you love but can't be with? Who -- if you were to stay with them -- would be holding you back? And they loved you and they didn't mean to harm you but they were still wrong for you in ways you don't know how to say? Even more, he had reached out to me in what I thought -- as Katara did -- an attempt to become friends again, but was actually an attempt to get back together. The line, "I thought he was ready to be friends again, I was ready to be friends again," was a direct quote from a text I sent a friend that day, after an incredibly uncomfortable lunch date. I had to tell him that the door was closed, and wouldn't be opening again, and it hurt. That sense of "I wish I could make this be right for us just so I could stop hurting you, but I cannot choose you over me" came from a very personal place.

A lot of that fic is from that kind of personal place, like I said in the author's note of chapter 4. And it's very much idealistic in a way that -- I will freely admit -- isn't entirely realistic. Or, it wouldn't be that simple. (Ultimately, he and I could not be friends again.) But I wrote the world I wanted to see, wanted to make possible. Believing that things can change for the better, that we can stand up for what we believe in and build a better world, even if it's tedious and crawling two steps forward, one step back the whole damn way, even if it takes all our lives and more, we can make a better world and even if we ourselves don't see it, it matters so much because we can build the foundation of that and it will last and grow -- believing that this is all possible is the first step to making it be possible.

That hope and belief may, in the real world, simply be a small candle in the swallowing darkness, but it's a stubborn one and as long as we don't let it go out, it will light the way and someday -- someday -- the light will spread.

I didn't set out to write a story about that candle, but in the end I found I had, and the fact that it's spread to thousands -- and been read (or at least clicked on) by 170,000 people (170,000, it blows my mind) -- has swept me away and, in a way, kept my own candle burning. I may be small and helpless against the tides of everything happening in the world around me, but my words have inspired and helped and strengthened thousands of people. We give each other strength and hope through these awful times, and that hope and togetherness are the things that can change the world.

So, thank you for this. I am so, so happy that I have helped you, and so, so proud of you for going on your healing journey and learning to set your boundaries, it's important and hard and worth it and scary, and I am absolutely rooting for you the whole way.

[nytehavyn-circle]

A few OOC things people should be aware of with me. Some good, some bad, some that explain stuff, etc...

I have a very bad memory. I have PTSD, severe social/generalized anxiety, bipolar depression with psychosis (meaning I have hallucinations; mine are not bad and not even invasive... I see bugs around my peripheral vision a lot, but I know they're not really there), and I'm on two mood stabilizers/antidepressants, Xanax for my anxiety. and a medication that helps reduce my PTSD nightmares. Not to mention the fact that last September, I spent about 2-3 weeks in a small coma thanks to pneumonia that put me on a ventilator.

All of these things together have left my memory shoddy, full of holes, swiss cheesed, and given me brain fog. There's a lot of shit I remember, but a lot of shit I don't.

This includes RP. Some threads from a while back I remember what happened, some I've completely forgotten, some ships I remember, and others don't ring a bell...

So, where that's concerned, if I ask you about a plot, or something about what's happening, any of that, and it's something I should remember because it's happened before, please don't be upset. Gently remind me and if I still don't remember, we can always do it again.

Where I am concerned OOC...

I have a very strong personality. For a very long time, I pushed myself, my spirit, down to accommodate other people in the RPC, and walked on eggshells so as to hopefully not offend or upset anybody.

That's stops.

Now, while I still don't want to offend anyone, and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, chances are that's it's going to happen. As stated before, I have a very strong personality, and I'm tired of pretending to be meek. I will probably say and do things OOC that will offend and upset, and I will probably do things in RP that offend and upset...

I can get very sexual on the dash and such OOC - there are days I am hypersexual, and there are days that I have no interest in it AT ALL - which is due to my meds. I get very friendly OOC in messages - I will bother you a lot, even if you don't message me back for a while, I'll still bug your IMs a lot, just because that's how I am. I don't do it expecting you to message me back instantly, I do it because I just do. You can read/respond to the messages as you see fit. I will flail/rave/yell about our muses, our threads, and our ships an awful lot. I will also lovebomb you because that's how I am. I like to let my mutuals know I care, I like to make friends, etc. That's who I am, and I can't apologize for being me. Sometimes I can try to curb it, but that won't happen often. And whether it's OOC or IC, I will TRY to remember to tag the threads.TRY! There's no guarantee I will, because, as I said, my mind is in an almost constant brain fog.

I will definitely lose followers for this because it happens every day. However, this is me asking you to PLEASE let me know SOMETHING about why you want to unfollow/block me to last least give me a chance to apologize and correct the offending behavior.

Yes, yes, I know you "don't owe anyone anything." This has given way, given permission, for people in the RPC to treat their mutuals like garbage, like shit, and toss them aside whenever they see fit, no matter how long they've been RP partners, and no matter if they're actively RPing and threading. It's cowardly to do this.

Yes, you curate your own online experience but give your mutuals a chance to explain themselves. The unfortunate thing is that people on here seem to think if someone does something inappropriate OOC, or other muses do something inappropriate IC, then that person is s horrible person regardless and must be blocked. This is a cowardly way when you can't even tell your mutual, "Look, this made me uncomfortable," and give them a chance to apologize and possibly curb their behavior - because I can promise, 8 times out of 10, they might not even realize they're doing something wrong.

No one in the RPC here wants to communicate and it makes RPing difficult. And it makes it difficult if you refuse to even chat OOC to your RP partners. No wonder a lot of new RPers here don't want to reach out, and it's starting to happen even with veteran RPers here where they've just stopped reaching out because they're tired of the bullshit.

I - and I know of a few others - who have difficulty RPing with someone they never talk to OOC. Most likely, if we don't chat OOC, I will probably end up dropping our thread(s) and letting you know.

It's gotten to the point where RPers don't even want to TRY to have respect for even their RP Partners. People on here love to go on and on about respect, but no one ever wants to give it.

This really has to stop and change for the better. WE need to be better, as a whole.

To wit: I am 48 years of age. And a lot of muns in the RPC are significantly younger. I will not be offended if someone comes to me and tells me my age bothers them and they feel uncomfortable RPing with me. If this does apply to you, please come tell me. I can't change it, but I can at least understand why you're unfollowing and wish you well. But this is also why I prefer to RP with anyone under 21.

Also, as I've stated in another post... if you don't like what one of my muses does in an RP, come to me, talk to me, and we'll see if there's a compromise - we can even try new muses. I have quite a few, with more being added all the time. Don't come to me blaming me and yelling at me for what my muse does IC.

I refuse to nerf my muses for any reason, UNLESS it needs to be done as a plot point, to fit the story. I will not diminish their abilities, and I will not turn my jerk muses into suddenly decent people unless it's part of a whole character arc. I won't turn my powerful muses into weak kittens just to satisfy another RPer's desire or because they don't like RPing with strong muses. I don't expect ANYONE to nerf their muses for me, I don't want anyone to expect it from me.

Mun =/= muse, and muse =/= mun. Now, a lot of beliefs and thoughts overlap OOC, but this does not mean we condone the behavior or most of the behavior and thoughts of our muses. If you've been in the RPC long enough, you'll come to realize that the muses have developed a mind of their own and will do WTF-ever they want. lol

I didn't make this post to upset or offend, I made this post for understanding and explanation. I am not going to speak for everyone, but I do know there are a handful who agree with me on what I've stated above.

Please, just communicate. Talk to each other. Talk OOC, and make friends. Make a found family. Stop ignoring each other.

[vanes-lawlol]

oou glad to know that you're joining!! anyways time to use the ask inbox for what its actually made for lol

so we know what both of your MCs think of Tammy, but what does Tammy think of those two?

I wouldn't dare to assume how Tam would think of them two, but if I am allowed to...

(it's a long read, bear with me if you can)

I pretty much just follow the game story as much as possible though, and I'll try to imagine as far as I possibly can, haha.

I'd imagine Tamarack thought of Robyn as a random kid to target for her paper airplane shenanigans, and not much after, initially. But after she found out that he's the new kid moving in, she was excited to get to know him more - the development of him being a random kid to someone that's pretty similar to her was too interesting to miss, she thought. She took him as a friend that she would always go to through elementary school, or pretty much when she's still trying to get used to the Grove. Even though she did seem to get along with other kids, she still has Robyn in her mind. The similarities of being new and also forest lover was the base of the friendship, and she wanted to see if they both can be even closer by doing more things together. She would always be surprised on how easily Robyn would forgive her if there were some initiatives that went a bit far (she would be the first to apologise).

As they stay together, she eventually realised how kind and dependable Robyn always try to be for her. She saw him as a strong, independent boy, and even though getting rowdier as time goes, she knew he would always soften around her. At first she was confused as to why he acted like that way, but not rarely did she think of that as his way to treat her diffferently... as in, special? That thought always flustered her. At around step 2 (14 y.o), though, she noticed that Robyn has been so busy and focused on his endeavour in basketball that he would often ignore anything besides being the best he could - this includes her, herself. She knew why he did so, though: he wanted to prove that he's worth something. Often, this annoyed and saddened her, as he didn't seem to listen to her words that he didn't need to do so, as he already mean something to her, and even to the neighbour Qiu themself.

That pretty much will be brought up a lot for step 3 and up, with her feelings not changing a bit. She wants to make up for lost times with him, being someone that she considers special, and also in hopes to make him see how much he means to her (even if it's just as friends).

Whew, a long read eh? (I'm sorry)

As for Raisa (if I assume you mean her), I'd think Tamarack was interested to get to know her right away since Raisa is a girl like her! And she would be in awe after hearing her name, as it didn't sound like typical ones she's heard in her life. No matter what, she would always call her Raisa (unlike how people would call her Lisa/Risa because of the need to simplify) to appreciate her. She also thinks Raisa's eyes were something else. But being a girl, Tamarack felt some kind of competition towards her, wanting to show that's she's a fun buddy to be with. Though this only applies in school - outside, they're all friendly again. Tamarack felt more interested to bring her on various activities to see Raisa's reactions to it, in hopes she would also have fun like she did.

Tamarack had heard lots of complaints from Raisa about how she felt uncomfortable about herself when she tried to explain why she's hesitant to try something or wear something, and it always confused her. In her eyes, Raisa looked perfectly fine, and even cute, too (this is around 7th grade and she's shy to admit that last part). That drove her to try being a supportive friend or at least someone that will always appreciate her so-claimed imperfections. Tamarack's feelings will only grow and made known to Raisa in step 3.

----

Sorry for the long read lol I'm not good with elaborating stuff... But that's pretty much how I think Tam would feel about each of them. That is, until the game proves me other wise! Thanks for the opportunity to allow me to imagine!

[solomons-poison]

Hi Tarren! I read (and re-read) your Geto Suguru + 7. 'Sharing a kiss after not seeing them for an extended period of time' and must say it elicited quite a bit of emotion from me. It cut deep and pulled quite a few tears from me lol 😅 Initially unexpected but then again I did request suguru who is the pinnacle of tragedy and with the upcoming episodes about him, I should have expected a heart ripping romance 😣

I honestly have been slacking on typing this feedback ask because life has been busy (as always 😌) but also because i was indecisive in articulating myself and whether to scale back or just come forward with some personal things that resonate with parts of your writing. Complaining about the cold and pumpkin spices are one thing but more serious things are another beast altogether 😟 In the end, I know it is a matter of comfort levels on both sides so I made sure to re check your pinned posts on both of your blogs before sending this so I wouldn't be crossing any of your boundary lines.

Basically, I related to this a lot. I know all too well the pain of being separated from a lover and being unsure if I would ever see them again only to give them as much love as I can when I am with them before being inevitably parted. It is one of the reasons I actually requested this in the first place. I had gone into this with love for suguru but also for another.

The moments you encapsulated stood out to me in multiple sentences from 'It probably should have been enough of a red flag for you to reject him when he tried to court you. But his levels of charisma were just too powerful' to 'It was just for a few days at a time, but when it happened, he was completly unreachable' to 'As days passed and he didn't show, didn't send you any kind of message, a feeling of dread formed a ball in your stomach, hard and heavy' to 'All you could do was keep moving, keep your mind occupied on anything but your missing lover, before you got overwhelmed with a thousand what-ifs' and finally 'putting on tv or music to fill up the space, make it feel a little less lonely'.

Overall, I am glad you didn't make him into kenjaku (i am never forgiving gege for pulling that on us I swear 😤 why couldn't he have just been a dude with a stitched forehead as either a weird tattoo or healing from a nearly fatal blow from satoru since he did not have shoko to heal him 😭) and I am impressed you were able to convey this all without a single line of dialogue 😮 I already thanked you in advance but I would like to thank you again for writing this. It means a lot to me and I hope that despite my vigilance to make note of your rules, I have not made you uncomfortable with my personal baggage. I noticed another fic with my name on it and I'm definitely coming back with another feedback ask after sleep and groceries 😏 (if you aren't sick of me yet 😖). In the meantime, I hope the rest of the day treats you kindly (as you have with surprising me with another gojo piece 😍)

You are always, ALWAYS appreciated for your feedback!!!!! It means a lot to me to hear people's thoughts on what I write. I don't want to sound egotistical, but at that risk, it's really nice having someone point out particular things I put in and how it impacted them, because as the author, of course it means so much to me that someone noticed. Or especially, that what I did worked as intended/had the impact that I was looking for. And thank you for taking the time to send me this response, too, when you're busy!

Yeah I am also not happy with the Kenjaku route that Gege took (not as in bad writing, but because poor Geto already went through so much and then now to have his body used like a puppet?? Is awful). I couldn't really think of a reason Geto would disappear for a while, which is why it ended up that angsty idea instead haha.

Like I just imagine knowing/loving Geto before he leaves, trying desperately to keep him there before he completely falls to the "dark side". You know that something is wrong, but you don't really know what you can do or how to help. It would just be heartbreaking watching him slowly leaving...

I'm glad I was able convey him! And no worries about it making me uncomfortable, I'll usually be pretty straightforward about what I don't like or isn't allowed, so if there ever is a problem, I'll just let you know. :) and the kiss requests were pretty generic in prompt, giving me a lot of freedom in choosing why you/the reader and Geto would be separated, so it was my fault that it ended up as sad as it did haha, you're not to blame.

And yes! I made a second post for Geto for you that has a much happier note haha, that I hope you like~ but no rush to read it, get your rest and errands, and I'll be awaiting your feedback~

[freedomarrow]

"Good afternoon, Leonardo. Keeping well, I hope." Elincia holds an object behind her back, careful to keep it out of sight. The sheepish expression on her face gives her motives away far too easily though, along with the pale pink flush on her cheeks. She had never been skilled in deception, no matter the circumstances. "I want to apologise, it's a little later than planned but I couldn't simply ignore your birthday." Shifting uncomfortable on her feet, she slowly presents him the surprise she'd kept hidden.

It's a bunny rabbit. Not a live, wiggling one of course! It would be reckless to spring an animal on someone who may not wish to or be in a position to care for it. Rather, it's a stuffed animal, plush with cotton inside and extra squishy. She's a little embarrassed that some of her stitches can still be seen despite her best efforts to hide him but she is proud of his golden, crocheted scarf, embroidered with a little deer at the ends.

"He took a little longer to finish than I planned and I couldn't well offer him up headless. What on earth would that imply?" Nervously, she offers it to Leonardo with awkward laughter, hoping the gift doesn't seem insulting. That she hasn't committed an awful faux pas here. They'd had little time to speak, to find common ground and yet... the image of them both in that field of rabbits is etched into her mind. Maybe it's an olive branch, an offer of friendship extended with great sincerity.

"Happy belated birthday. I er... hope you like it. But if you don't, I'm terribly sorry. Please, do with it whatever you see fit."

Elincia's voice catches Leonardo off-guard, surprise clear on his face as he turns to look at her upon hearing his name - though he masks it quickly with a light, courteous smile. "I am, thank you. I hope so are you," he responds.

She brings up his birthday, and his brow quirks ever so slightly - oh. It has now been a couple days, and he had expected everyone to move on to the more important daily matters by now. To learn that she had spent so much time preparing something for him, makes him... well, a mixture of embarrassed, flustered, grateful and curious.

He cannot help but feel his smile brighten up, however, as she presents the gift to him; a stuffed rabbit plushie, soft to the touch, reminiscent of some of the earliest memories of his carefree childhood. "You made this by hand?... It's so cute," he chuckles, looking over it as it arrives to his hands, before holding it close to his chest similarly to how he would a puppy.

"There is no need to apologize, or anything," he assures her quickly. He is not entirely certain why she would feel the need to apologize to him - treating him like a child, perhaps? He does not see it that way and he would not mind a chance to finally be one again, if only for a moment, really. "I love it... And I appreciate you spent so much time on this for me. Thank you."

The smile he gives Elincia as he says it is the warmest one she has received from him yet. Maybe he could finally accept that it is time to move on from what once was.

[sselroloc]

8, 13, 51, 58

8. Describe your crush

I haven't had a crush in a little under 2 years. I wrote about them as well when I got asked this question back then. I don't mind describing/talking about them again but in different ways since it's easy to do because I cherish and will forever be grateful for them. Besides, I feel as though I can go an eternity speaking about them. I just hope they don't get angry at me if they see this now that we're not as involved in each other's life anymore, which is okay, it still won't ever change my appreciation towards them. So if you see this and you think it's about you.. it probably is. If you're angry or uncomfortable about this and want this deleted, please let me know. Now that I have that disclosed:

They're awkward, dorky, adventurous, courageous, responsible, smart, witty, filled with both hilarious and awful jokes which makes them funny with this deadpan humor, and great sense of humor.

I miss their face; that beautiful smile that was as refreshing to look at as taking a breath fresh of air. Those eyes that are as breathtaking as every sunset. With that amazing frizzy and wavy chestnut hair. Their gaze was that of looking at a goddess; I sometimes wondered Bellona. It's like she knew/know just how out of this world she is/was.

I describe her as a warrior because she is that in my eyes. Yes, she has princess vibes, which is cute, BUT she's as fierce and gentle as the ocean( I think I shared that part with her). As difficult as it seems to truly see her the deeper you try to dive in, there's this side of her that wants and deserves to be taken care of because she's such a hard working woman and she deserves to feel safe, secured, and given all the reassurance, love, and those "it'll be alright" back rubs EVER and forehead kisses.

And that's just one small fraction of them. The thing that really matters more about them is way more admirable, inspiring, motivating, and enchanting.

I'm lucky or cursed (depending on how one reads this) that I grew to love them because of all of that who they were and more.

I think that's a good time to end it. I rambled too much haha 😊😊

Forever grateful for them.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

No. I usually know my place in someone's life and purposely put myself in this place where I know that I'm a friend, but I'm not a priority. Almost like a mutual, not friend friend. It's okay though. I understand that life is that way and I'm just glad to be a small part of anyone's life. Friendship wise, unless I'm told that I'm a priority but then I am being treated otherwise, I don't get jealous, I slowly and gracefully take a step back from that person's life. I'm not entitled to anyone or any friends, but I won't allow my friendship to be taken for granted. I won't ever show and give you that side of me again if you don't apologize and make things right with your actions.

Do I get jealous? No, but I do get hurt and readjust my place in your life.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

My mom, 4 siblings, my 11 or 12 niblings. And at least two other people. Even when we're not on good terms, I'd be there for them.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. Communicate with me: Be as blunt, honest, unfiltered with me about everything and nothing. What you want from me. What you expect from me. What I need to work on for you. Your needs. I know and I understand there will be off days or days where you or I will need space, but communicate that with me.

2. Make me a priority in your life: Involve me in your day to day life. Make me feel like I matter to you on a rare tier that not everyone gets access to because that's what you'll be for me as well. I might come off like I'm this positive person who's willing to be there for anyone, and in a way I would, but no one, and I MEAN no one will ever have my devotion, time, and dedication as my future partner will have. So just make me feel wanted. Needed. Be my reason in this fucked up world.

3. Pictures/Videos: share with me randomness of your life, days, and selfies because I will adore you and looking at you will be my serotonin boost in life.

4. Love languages: help me love you in the ways you want to be loved by me. Love me in the ways I need to be loved.

5. Romantic or beautiful intimate with me: it doesn't mean sex per se, but yes, we will have amazing, awkward, disgusting and hot sex. That being said, hold my hands, give me back rubs, play with my hair, rest your head on my shoulders so I can caress you, take naps with me, go on walks and fast food stops together, grocery shopping together, share with me your dreams and fears, tattoos if you have any, eat ice cream with me or anything at 3 in the morning when we can't sleep, introduce me to your favorite foods, snacks, movies/shows and vice versa. If we're in a LDR then that's okay we'll figure out ways to remain intimate and romantic with each other until I'm able to go visit you and we get to see each other and spend time together in person.

✨Thank you so much for the asks. I had fun answering them. I hope I made sense.✨

—

[kodiescove]

It's honestly so funny that like.... this person I have gotten back into contact with has changed *so much*, in a truly beautiful way, and yet as beautiful as all this is, as seeing them sober is, it is vastly uncomfortable the amount they have changed, the way they have changed.

For /12 years/ I was so desperate to treat me like I was human, like I mattered

And now they take every opportunity to tell me how wonderful they think I am, how much they care for me, how sorry they are for how awful they treated me before.

And yes this is all wonderful truly it is a blessing

But I emotionally feel the equivalent of flinching like I'm going to be hit when someone just means to push hair out of my eyes....

[thetraingotsetonfireonmidnight]

Can I please request headcanons with adrien/cat noir dating a fem reader that is shy and introverted :) ty!!!

Indeed you can !

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔑𝔬𝔦𝔯 / 𝔄𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫 𝔄𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢 𝔵 𝔖𝔥𝔶 ℑ𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔢𝔪!𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯

Adrien is probably both the best and the worst person you could possibly date as an introvert.

On one hand, he's super sweet and understanding!

Need someone to order for you? He's gotcha!

Need someone to cling to while at an uncomfortable party? He's by your side the whole time.

Don't want to talk to someone but you're too shy to end the conversation? That's ok, he'll do it for you! He'll walk up and make some excuse about how you have to go.

If someone is asking to hang out with you, and you don't want to go–but you don't want to straight up tell them that– he's given you full permission to blame it on him!

"Aw sorry, I have to attend my boyfriend's next photoshoot! You know how busy we can get."

And he's constantly hyping you up.

Whenever talking to others, he always brings you up atleast once.

If you're nervous about something, like an upcoming test or event, he's always there to remind you that you can get through it. He 100% believes in you.

He'll remind you of all your strengths, and that your weaknesses don't define you.

"Sometimes I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

If you're nervous about making the first move, he's already 20 steps ahead of you. He'll always be the first one to reach for your hand or plant kisses on your cheek.

And when he's Chat Noir? He's basically your free ticket to paradise: being able to go outside without interacting with anyone.

He takes you up high on rooftops where no one can see you

You two don't have to say a single word. You can just bask in the silence asyiu watch the sunset.

Don't feel like talking because your social battery is out? That's ok! He can talk and you can listen. You don't have to say a single thing.

But with all the positives out of the way, there is one tiny problem-

He's famous.

While you try to keep your relationship with him a secret, inevitably, everyone finds out.

Now that it's been made public that you're Adrien's girlfriend, you're constantly surrounded by reporters.

Everyone you talk to is interested in your relationship

Plus angry fangirls posting not so nice things about you.

Adrien tries his best to calm his fan base down, but there's only so much he can do.

To not fuel the fire, he tries not to be too affectionate in public (which is very hard for him because he wants to give you all of his love 100% of the time).

And as Chat, he tries to treat you as if you're a stranger. Last thing either of you needed was for someone to think there was some sort of weird love triangle going on

Except that's exactly what happens because someone caught him giving you a rose during his break while on patrol.

Once again, he has to calm the fan base down, as everyone is convinced you're a blonde magnet.

The other downside is that Adrien can be clingy.

So when you're not feeling like being around people- and that includes him, he's stuck missing you. He respects your space, but he very much texts you while you're away. Give this man a stern talking to about space.

Oh, and if you want something from him...you have to...ugh, communicate that to him 🤢

He can be very uh...socially unaware...yeah let's say that.

So if you want to kiss, cuddle, hold hands, whatever, and waiting until he eventually gives you one isn't working, you can't just give him hints.

Doesn't matter how obvious they are.

"My hand is feeling a little cold."

"Oh I'm sorry, I think I have some gloves you can borrow!"

"I'm feeling lonely over here. If only my loving boyfriend hugged me."

"Am I the boyfriend you're referencing or is there another guy I don't know about?"

Now as Chat, he's a bit more aware.

But that doesn't mean he won't tease you

He likes seeing your fumble to explain to him that you want a kiss from him.

"You know what I want!"

"I'm afraid I don't, ma chérie. Enlighten me."

He's a little shit and he knows it.

But he's also yours and you love him for it.

[buckyandgeraltsupremacy]

The Plot (Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!Reader)

anthony bridgerton x  fem!reader

the one where his entire family plots to get you two together by the end of the season

warnings: awful dad; mentions of potential future abuse; she/her pronouns; scheming lol 

author: sj

masterlist

part two / part three / part four

---

The Bridgertons have practically been your family since you were small, specifically Daphne and Eloise, but none of them were were ever considered your favorite, they simply all were your favorite. And the whole clan adored you. Even Lady Bridgerton who insisted that you call her Violet.

This was your second season out and your father particularly was starting to get serious about your intentions to marry. Your father was never the kindest, viewing you as another child in his house and as a thing he had to get rid of when you hit a certain age, hence why you spent your time at the Bridgerton household to escape him. Which was were you found yourself now. Specifically at dinner.

The sound of silverware scraping and loud chatting filled your ears as you ate with the beloved family. You had only told Eloise before dinner of your father and his intention to marry you off this season. Which is what you and Eloise were discussing at the moment in hushed whispers.

“But I can’t believe he would actually do this! It’s ridiculous and quite disgusting that he would treat you like property.” Eloise huffed.

“What are you talking so fervently about Eloise?” Anthony asked at the head of the table.

“Nothing, brother.” She dismissed, your cheeks heating slightly under his gaze that was looking back and forth between you two. For the past few years, you had been harboring a little crush on the Viscount. After he had helped you learn a specific dance in the day room one morning about four years ago, your mind and body would not release him from its clutches. He seemed to not return your feelings. 

“Eloise, if you are going to speak so passionately then you get to share with the table. I for one would love to hear what has you so angered.” He insisted, cutting the meat on his plate. She looked to you as if to ask if it was alright to explain but you just kept your head down and picked at the food on your plate.

“It is not my matter to discuss.” Eloise spoke, adding a little nod in your direction at her side. 

“Eloise…” Anthony pushed.

“Anthony, if Y/n doesn’t want to discuss it then she downed not have to.” Violet cut in, reading the situation and knowing it was your matter that was attempting to be discussed.

“Y/n, my apologies. It was not my intentions to make you uncomfortable.” Anthony said earnestly, looking at you in the eye. You quickly looked down.

“No! You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just… well… My father has decided at the end of this season I am to be married. Regardless of my feelings on the topic… and the person.” You said still avoiding eye contact from everyone at the table.

“Oh, Y/n.” Benedict sighed with compassion in his voice.

“I’m so sorry.” Colin said, patting your shoulder affectionately. You took a breath to hold yourself together.

“I’m alright. I promise. There have been others that have gone through this, I’m sure I’ll survive.” You tried to muster up your best smile, looking up to the others. Anthony’s eyes met yours, his hands paused at his plate as you spoke and eyes studied your pitiful half smile. It was obvious to him that you weren’t fine.

“I mean how can he do this?!” Eloise yelled, her silverware clattering to the table. “What if the man he marries you to is AWFUL? What if he hurts you or is old or is demeaning? How can you just be fine?!” She exclaimed.

“It’s because I don’t have a choice.” You quietly admitted. “If I get upset, it’ll do nothing but make me miserable. I’m just hoping somehow I end up with a love match or at least someone nice.”

Hyacinth and Greggory had been quietly watching (for the first time in their lives). They didn’t fully grasp the gravity of the situation but what they did grasp was that you weren’t acting like yourself. Your normal joyful demeanor and the smile that never seemed to leave your face fully, was completely gone. Just by looking at your body language, they could feel the unease rolling off of you.

They were also keeping an eye on Anthony as well. Not once since you had admitted the news did he move his hands from his silverware resting by his plate, knuckles going white with how hard he was squeezing his fists around the metal. They knew of how he normally looked at you, with soft eyes and careful attention. The empty stare he had trained on you now held almost a slight look of concern and anger. 

Hyacinth and Greggory shared a look between them that almost said it all. They needed to find a way to get you and Anthony together by the end of the season so you didn’t end up miserable and so you realized your shared feelings for each other.