#no joke this Reed is my favorite

[bigstepdisk]

Best Reed Richards out there ft. his toasters

[storydays]

C'mon, baby! Let's Go CRAZY

John Dory X Male! Rock Troll! Husband! Reader.

John Dory chuckled to himself as he watched his three children chase their cousins around. Currently, he was relaxing at the bar with his brothers', enjoying a drink and warm atmosphere.

After meeting Bruce, and knowing how dangerous things were, JD asked his sweet sister in law, Brandi, if he could leave his children safe on Vacay Island until either his partner came for them or he himself came back.

Of course, she happily kept the 3 Trollings. "It's honestly safer for them," she chided him before they left.

The oldest at 10 years old, Ash was a stubborn Troll and got along well with Bruce's oldest child, Cove. They were both super sarcastic but cared deeply about their siblings.

Cove would show Ash all of the cool hiding places on Vacay Island, and Ash was small enough that they could fit into the nooks and crannies that Cove couldn't reach. The two pre-teens bonded over learning about being non-binary and being true to themselves.

Ash took after John the most. Their hair color, eye color, and was a Pop Troll. Ash even wore compression gloves like their Papa, to keep their shaking hands still when drawing in their sketch book.

Then their only girl, Brooke, was an exact carbon copy of her Daddy. She was only 6 years old, but she was a wild card. She would jump off of stuff, then used her (h/c) pigtails to catch herself at the last moment. She took after John's husband in personality, looks, and even in music genre: Rock! John's favorite part was that (Y/N) and Brook shared (e/c) eyes.

Honestly, most of John's gray hair comes from that child. She was LaBreezey's little shadow. "She's just following what her big cousin does because to her, LaBreezy is her hero." Brandi laughed when John wondered outloud.

Ugh, John could just hear his husband's smirk when Brooke started talking about the government's control..or lack of it. Great, he already (Y/N) to worry about, now he's got two to deal with. Hopefully, that phase will pass soon.

The teal haired Troll hissed when he felt something tug sharply on his tail. Looking down, he brightened, seeing his youngest, Reed making grabby hands at him, demanding attention. John set his drink down before grabbing the Trolling.

"Reed! Finally up from your nap, little man?" Reed was currently struggling with speech, so he just made some babbling noises, before cuddling in his Papa's arms.

Reed was quite the surprise. John and (Y/N) thought they were done having kids, both of them in their late 30's. But one day, they woke up to Reed's egg sitting snugly in John's head.

Reed was a little miracle egg, and hatched looking like both of his fathers, John's hair, (Y/N)'s nose, but what was unique about the little dude, he had heterochromia. So his right eye was the same blue as John's and the calm (e/c) as (Y/N).

"So, where are you John Dory?" Bruce snapped his older brother out of his thoughts, making him realize his siblings' were looking at him.

"Huh?" John asked dumbly. Clay snickered, "John Dory has left the building, gentlemen." They joked, making the other brothers laugh.

"Ha ha." He chuckled, jumping slightly when he heard Brooke squeal loudly. BroZone looked over to where the little teal trolling watched excitedly as a (s/c) Troll went nacho diving.

Even though, there was salsa and cheese in their eyes, the new Troll got out yelling happily and excitedly. Bruce's children and John's older children crowed around him, chattering away.

Bruce frowned, knowing his kids wanted to copy the mysterious Troll's actions. "Ugh, that is so reckless. Now the kids are going to want to do it, and they'll be all sticky. Have you ever tried to give children in general a bath? Not to mention my kids are giants." He groaned.

John ignored his brothers' as Reed's tail excitedly wagged in his face, pointing towards the crowd.

Laughing, he adjusted the little Troll and stood up. "Okay, okay, we're going." He turned towards his brothers, with a raised brow. "Y'all coiming?"

BroZone scrambled after their brother, watching in shock as the new Troll grinned and rushed to John Dory. John stopped him with his tail, and deadpanned expression. "You are NOT touching us, until you've showered or rinsed off, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) grinned mischievously, turning towards Ash and Brooke, who bore matching grins. "Come on, kids!" "Wait, no!" John yelped when he was suddenly pushed from behind and pulled into the stream.

BroZone watched as (Y/N) held Reed in his arms, with a smug grin on his face. "Well, I rinsed off." He cackled, helping John Dory out of the water, before leaning in and kissing the grumpy Troll.

John smiled into the kiss, and kissed him back.

"Daaaadddddssss!!!!" Ash and Brooke squealed laughed, as John and (Y/N) covered their children's eyes with their tails.

Pulling back, (Y/N) pulled his children into his arms, squeezing tight. "Sorry it took so long for me to get here. This place is a good 3 day ride by caterbus. And I forgot my snacks!!!" (Y/N) whined, ears pointing down, perking up when his children giggled." So when I saw those nachos, I had to dive in and eat something."

John laughed, shaking his head. "Papa, I think our uncles' stopped working.." Ash pointed towards the frozen BroZone where their jaws dropped and stared wide eyed.

"Oh, right! (Y/N), babe, these are my brothers! Spruce, who now goes by Bruce, Clay, Floyd, and Bit-- I mean Branch. Guys, this is my husband, (Y/N)."

"Husband?" asked Clay. They were cool with it, same sex relationships weren't taboo or anything, but Clay was just surprised that John Dory of all people was in one.

"Cool." Floyd smiled.

"Papa?" Bruce whispered, a smile growing on his face.

"(Y/N)?" mumbled Branch, your name sounding familiar.

"Dada!" Reed giggled, tail wrapping around (Y/N)'s forearm.

"Uh-oh."

[amethystarachnid]

MUTANT BODYGUARD - part II

⤷ JAMES LOGAN HOWLETT

ᯓ★ Pairing: James Logan Howlett x fem!reader

ᯓ★ part 1 | part 2 | part 3

ᯓ★ Genre: fluff and spicy (I mean, it's Logan...)

ᯓ★ Story type: short story

ᯓ★ Word count: 6k

ᯓ★ TW(s): jealous and a little possessive Logan, reader has to play a love interest in a movie and her co-star makes stupid jokes and flirts with her

ᯓ★ Timeline: doesn't follow a timeline in the x-men movies, just...maybe before days of future past?

ᯓ★ Request: Can you do a part 2 on the bodyguard Logan with the actress like shes playing another famous actor love interest and Logan gets jealous ( @st4rrlighttt)

ᯓ★ From: Marvel Bingo, Bodyguard romance x Age Gap

ᯓ★ Comment if you want to be added to the taglist (specify if you want the everything taglist or for a specific character)

ᯓ★ Songs & Superheroes tales - The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)

ᯓ★ MARVEL Multiverse - choose an AU, pair it with your favorite character and make a request!

ᯓ★ MARVEL Bingo (requests open)

ᯓ★ My Masterlist

ᯓ★ If you are a Charles Xavier lover click on this link!

ᯓ★ English isn't my first language and this isn’t proof read

As the weeks pass, your relationship with Logan seems to settle into a strange sense of normalcy, despite the whirlwind of public attention surrounding you both. The tabloids are relentless, but true to Logan’s word, he brushes it all off with a shrug and a smirk, never letting the flashing cameras or whispered rumors affect the way he treats you. He’s present, caring, and somehow, the protective nature that once seemed intimidating now feels like a comforting constant in your life. You’re not used to this—to someone being so entirely in your corner, unbothered by the world’s judgment.

But as the days roll into weeks, you feel the pull of your career tugging at the edges of your quiet bubble with Logan. The script for your next project—a romantic comedy—arrives, and it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of. The lead role is challenging, a huge opportunity to show your range as an actress. The director is a big name, and the production is star-studded. It’s exactly the kind of role that could elevate your career to the next level.

But there’s one complication. Your co-star, the love interest in the film, is none other than Jason Reed—a rising actor with a notorious reputation for being charming, flirtatious, and a bit of a womanizer.

Logan hasn’t said much about it, but you can tell it’s been on his mind. You’ve noticed the way his jaw tightens whenever the subject comes up, the way he changes the topic whenever the script or Jason’s name is mentioned. You didn’t want to bring it up either, unsure of how to navigate the delicate line between your career and your personal life.

That evening, you’re sitting on the couch, the script in hand, when Logan walks in, looking as brooding as ever. He glances at you, and his eyes flicker to the script on your lap.

“You start shooting tomorrow, right?” His voice is casual, but there’s a tension underneath that makes your chest tighten.

You nod, biting your lip. “Yeah, first day of filming.”

Logan crosses the room and sits down beside you, his presence as grounding as ever. He’s quiet for a moment, then he speaks, his voice low. “You gonna be kissing that Jason guy?”

The question catches you off guard, and you glance at him, searching his face. There’s no anger there, just… something else. Something raw and unspoken.

“It’s just acting, Logan,” you say softly, placing your hand on his arm. “You know that.”

He grunts, clearly not convinced. “I’ve seen the way he looks at women.”

You sigh, not sure how to ease the tension. “I’m a professional. So is he. We’re just doing our jobs.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve seen guys like him before.” Logan’s voice is a low growl, and you can tell he’s trying to keep his emotions in check. “And I don’t trust him.”

You place the script on the coffee table and turn to face him fully. “Logan, you have nothing to worry about. This is my job. It doesn’t change anything between us.”

He runs a hand through his hair, leaning back on the couch with a frustrated sigh. “It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s him.”

“I know,” you whisper, leaning closer. “But you don’t have to protect me from this. I can handle it.”

Logan’s gaze meets yours, intense and conflicted. For a moment, you think he’s going to argue, but instead, he reaches for your hand, pulling you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you in a way that feels both possessive and protective.

“I trust you,” he says, his voice rough but sincere. “I just don’t like the idea of some smooth-talking actor putting his hands on you, even if it’s just for a role.”

You kiss him gently, hoping to soothe the storm brewing behind his eyes. “You’re the only one I want, Logan. You know that.”

He kisses you back, his lips firm against yours, but there’s still a trace of tension in his body. “Yeah, well, don’t expect me to sit around and play nice if this guy steps out of line.”

You smile against his lips, knowing full well that Logan means it. His protective streak is part of what makes him who he is, and while it can be overwhelming at times, there’s a part of you that finds comfort in it.

The next morning arrives all too soon, and you find yourself standing on set, dressed in character, nerves buzzing under your skin. Jason Reed is already there, flashing his trademark grin as he saunters over to you.

“Y/N! I’ve been looking forward to this,” he says, his voice smooth and charming, his eyes scanning you in a way that makes you feel a little too seen.

You give him a polite smile, keeping your distance. “Ready to work?”

“Always,” he replies, but there’s a glint in his eye that makes you wary. He leans in a little closer, lowering his voice. “You know, I’ve been hearing a lot about you and your new… boyfriend.”

You stiffen slightly. “Let’s keep things professional, Jason.”

He holds up his hands in mock surrender, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “Just making conversation.”

The first scene goes smoothly enough, but as the day progresses, the tension between you and Jason becomes more palpable. He’s good at what he does—charming, charismatic, and undeniably attractive. The camera loves him, and you can see why audiences swoon over him.

But with every take, every lingering touch or gaze, you can’t help but feel a gnawing sense of unease. It’s not just about the scene or the acting—it’s the way Jason looks at you when the cameras stop rolling, like he’s testing the waters, seeing how far he can push.

By the time lunch rolls around, you’re more than ready for a break. You head to your trailer, hoping for a few minutes of quiet to collect yourself. But when you open the door, you find Logan sitting there, his arms crossed over his chest, a stormy look in his eyes.

“Logan,” you say, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d stop by. See how things were going.” His voice is calm, but the underlying tension is unmistakable.

You close the door behind you, walking over to him. “You didn’t have to come.”

“I wanted to,” he replies, his eyes scanning your face, searching for something. “So… how’s Jason?”

You sigh, sitting down beside him. “He’s fine. It’s just work.”

Logan’s jaw tightens, and he leans forward slightly, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “He better remember that.”

You reach for his hand, squeezing it gently. “Logan, I can handle him. You don’t need to worry.”

“I know you can handle yourself,” he says, his voice softening slightly. “But I also know guys like him. And if he crosses a line, I won’t be sitting on the sidelines.”

You smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

As the afternoon unfolds, you can feel the weight of Logan’s presence on set. It’s both a comfort and a reminder of the delicate balance you’re trying to maintain between your professional life and the man who’s quickly become so much more than just a protector.

When the final scene of the day comes—a pivotal moment where your character shares a passionate kiss with Jason’s—you feel Logan’s eyes on you, watching from just off-camera. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself that this is just acting, just a scene.

But when Jason leans in, his lips brushing against yours, you can feel the intensity of Logan’s gaze burning into you. And as the scene ends, you catch a glimpse of him, jaw clenched, eyes dark with a mix of jealousy and something more primal.

As the director calls it a wrap, Jason pulls back, his grin easy and self-assured. “Not bad, huh?”

You force a smile, trying to shake off the awkwardness. “Yeah, good work.”

But as you turn to leave, Logan is already by your side, his hand finding yours, pulling you close. His touch is possessive, a silent reminder of everything unsaid.

Jason’s eyes flicker to Logan, and for a brief moment, there’s a challenge in the air, an unspoken tension that lingers between the two men.

“See you tomorrow,” Jason says, his grin never wavering.

Logan’s grip tightens around your hand. “Not if I see you first.”

You stifle a laugh, nudging Logan as you walk away, but the tension between them is impossible to ignore. As you leave the set, you realize that the lines between your world and Logan’s are blurring more and more, and you’re not sure where this story will go next.

The next morning arrives with a bright sun streaming through the windows of your trailer. After a quick breakfast, you’re buzzing with anticipation and a hint of anxiety about filming your scenes with Jason. But knowing Logan is by your side eases your nerves. You’re both navigating uncharted waters, but you’re determined to keep everything as professional as possible.

As the day progresses, the energy on set fluctuates between light-hearted banter and intense moments of focus. You do your best to keep things casual with Jason, but his flirtatious demeanor makes it increasingly difficult. Each take, every lingering look feels heavier, and you can see Logan’s tension growing with every interaction.

By lunchtime, you’re more than ready for a break. You sneak into your trailer, hoping for a moment to collect yourself. Just as you settle in, the door swings open, and there stands Logan, looking ruggedly handsome as always.

“Hey,” you say, smiling as you watch him step inside, closing the door behind him.

“Hey yourself,” he replies, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Thought I’d find you in here.”

“I need a break from all the flirting,” you joke, rolling your eyes. “It’s exhausting.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” he says, his expression shifting to something more serious. He steps closer, his hands finding your waist, pulling you in as he lowers his voice. “You don’t have to deal with that alone, you know.”

You lean into him, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. “I know. That’s why you’re here, right?”

“Exactly.” He tilts his head, capturing your lips in a soft kiss. The world outside fades away, and it feels like it’s just you and him in this moment. You melt into him, deepening the kiss as your hands tangle in his hair.

Time seems to slip away, and you’re lost in the warmth and comfort of his embrace. The kiss is soft and tender, a reminder of how far you’ve come together.

But just as you pull away, breathless and smiling, there’s a sharp knock on the door, causing both of you to jump apart.

“Y/N! Are you in there?” Jason calls from the other side, his tone light but a hint of impatience evident.

Logan’s expression darkens slightly, and you can see the muscles in his jaw tighten. “Just a minute!” you shout back, shooting Logan an apologetic look.

“Perfect timing,” he mutters under his breath, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Logan, it’s fine. We’re just—”

“I’m not letting him come in here,” Logan interrupts, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re my girl now.”

You feel your cheeks flush at his words, a mix of warmth and pride flooding through you. “I know,” you reply softly, stepping closer to him, drawn to his protective energy.

The knocking grows more insistent. “Y/N! I need to talk to you about the next scene!”

Logan huffs, clearly agitated. “Yeah, well, he can wait a minute.”

“Logan,” you say gently, trying to ease the tension. “Let me just talk to him. It’ll be fine.”

He watches you for a moment, the intensity of his gaze penetrating. “Just remember, you’re with me now. You don’t owe him anything.”

You take a step back, feeling the weight of his words. “I know, but I want to keep things professional. We can’t let this interfere with work.”

He gives you a reluctant nod, still looking a bit possessive. “Fine, but I’m staying right here.”

You chuckle, knowing he won’t budge. You head toward the door, preparing yourself for the encounter. You take a deep breath before swinging it open.

Jason leans against the frame, a confident smile plastered on his face. “There you are! I was just wondering if we could go over the scene together.”

You nod, doing your best to keep the situation light. “Sure, let’s go over it.”

But as you start to step out of the trailer, Logan moves to stand beside you, his posture relaxed but his presence impossibly dominant. You can feel the tension radiating from him as he folds his arms and leans slightly closer to you, as if to make it clear to Jason that you’re not going anywhere without him.

“Hey, man,” Jason greets Logan casually, a hint of surprise flashing across his face. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just making sure Y/N is good,” Logan replies, his tone edged with an unmistakable possessiveness. “You know how demanding the job can be.”

Jason raises an eyebrow, a smirk creeping onto his face. “I get it. Protecting your girl and all.”

You shoot Logan a warning glance, but he doesn’t seem to care. The way he’s standing, shoulder-to-shoulder with you, sends a clear message: you’re taken.

“Just remember, it’s still a work environment,” you interject, trying to ease the tension. “We’re here to focus on the film.”

Logan looks down at you, a soft smile breaking through his seriousness. “Right. But that doesn’t mean I can’t keep an eye on things.”

Jason chuckles, though there’s a flicker of annoyance in his eyes. “No problem. Just let me know when you’re ready to rehearse.”

You take a step forward, hoping to diffuse the situation. “We’ll be right out, Jason. Just give us a second.”

As Jason turns to leave, Logan leans down, whispering in your ear, “You know he’s going to be trying to push my buttons all day, right?”

You can’t help but laugh softly. “I know, but we can handle it. Just remember, I’m with you. Always.”

Logan pulls back, his gaze softening. “Yeah, I just want to make sure he knows it.”

With that, you step out of the trailer, feeling Logan’s presence lingering beside you. As you walk back to the set, you catch Jason’s eye, and he flashes that charming smile again, but this time you’re not swayed. Not with Logan standing strong beside you.

Filming continues, and though Jason attempts to play up the flirtation during scenes, you feel a new sense of confidence in your relationship with Logan. Each time Jason leans a little too close or delivers a line with a little too much innuendo, you can feel Logan’s gaze on you, fierce and protective. You catch his eyes, a silent conversation passing between you: you’re in this together.

The final scene of the day arrives, and it’s the climax of the movie—a passionate confession followed by an even more passionate kiss. You and Jason stand across from each other, the tension in the air electric.

“Ready?” Jason asks, a hint of mischief in his voice.

“Let’s just get it over with,” you reply, feeling a twinge of nerves. You glance toward Logan, who is watching from the side of the set, arms crossed and an expression that says he’s not impressed.

As the director counts down, you take a deep breath, channeling all your emotions into the moment. Jason steps closer, his face hovering inches from yours, and as you start the scene, you can feel the weight of Logan’s gaze burning into your back.

The kiss comes, and you pour everything into it, knowing that the reality of your feelings lies just beneath the surface. As the kiss deepens, you feel a spark of rebellion against the situation, and you realize just how much you want to distance yourself from Jason’s advances.

The director yells “Cut!” and as soon as the command rings out, you pull away, your heart racing. But as you step back, you catch Logan’s gaze again, and this time it’s different. There’s an intensity in his eyes, a silent acknowledgment that you’re his, and he’s yours.

As Jason makes a joke about the scene, trying to lighten the mood, you can see the way he’s trying to maintain his charm, but it doesn’t faze you. You turn to Logan, who’s stepped closer, his presence radiating a sense of ownership that sends warmth cascading through you.

“Good job out there,” he murmurs, his voice low as he tugs you closer.

“Thanks,” you reply, feeling a rush of warmth at his proximity. “I was just thinking about how much I’d rather be kissing you right now.”

Logan grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Trust me, you’ll get plenty of that later.”

Just then, Jason approaches, his confidence unshaken. “So, Y/N, you think we can work on that scene a bit more later? Maybe grab dinner?”

You don’t hesitate. “Actually, I have plans,” you say, shooting a quick glance at Logan, who looks like he could take on a bear if he had to right now. “With Logan.”

Jason raises an eyebrow, his smirk faltering slightly. “Really? You’re going to let him keep you from doing some real work?”

You don’t flinch. “Logan isn’t keeping me from anything. I’m choosing to be with him.”

A flicker of surprise crosses Jason’s face, but he quickly recovers, his charm returning. “Well, I guess you’ve made your choice then.”

You smile sweetly, a sense of triumph surging through you as you turn to Logan, who’s watching the exchange with an amused expression.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says, the possessive glint in his eyes returning.

As you walk away from the set, hand in hand with Logan, you feel

a rush of exhilaration. You’ve stood your ground, and for the first time in a long while, you feel empowered.

The world beyond the set may be full of distractions and complications, but in this moment, with Logan beside you, everything feels right.

The night of the premiere is electric. Flashbulbs flicker in rapid succession as fans line the barricades, shouting out for autographs and pictures. The energy is infectious as you step onto the red carpet, the roar of the crowd sending a rush of adrenaline through you. The premiere of your romantic comedy has been highly anticipated, and tonight feels like the culmination of all the hard work you and Jason put into the film.

You take a deep breath, standing tall in your stunning gown, feeling the press of eyes from every direction. Beside you, Jason looks every bit the charming leading man, his arm casually draped across your back as the two of you wave to the crowd. It's all part of the act—selling the chemistry you had on-screen—but tonight, there’s a difference. Logan is here.

Your eyes dart to where Logan stands just behind you, dressed impeccably in a dark suit, but not in the way that draws attention. He blends into the crowd of security personnel and handlers, his gaze steady as he watches over the event. He’s doing his job, but you know him well enough to sense the tension beneath his cool exterior.

As you step onto the main stretch of the carpet, reporters rush forward, jostling for your attention. Jason leans in, giving them his signature grin as he holds you a little closer, making the moment look picture-perfect. But you feel Logan’s gaze on you, like a tether grounding you in the midst of the chaos.

A reporter thrusts a microphone toward you and Jason, her eyes wide with excitement. “Y/N! Jason! You two had such amazing chemistry in the film. What was it like working together on this romantic comedy?”

Jason is the first to answer, his voice smooth and confident. “It was fantastic. Y/N is an incredible actress, and working with her just made everything feel natural. The chemistry was easy—when you’re working with someone as talented as her, it just clicks.”

You smile graciously, playing along, though your thoughts are half-focused on Logan’s presence just behind you. “Jason made it really easy to get into character. We had a lot of fun on set, and I think that translated on screen.”

The reporter’s eyes light up, sensing an opportunity for more. “You two seem to get along so well. Was there ever a moment where the lines between acting and real life blurred?”

Jason chuckles, leaning in closer to you, his voice dropping just enough to seem intimate. “You know, there were definitely moments where it felt very real,” he says, giving you a wink that sends the crowd into a frenzy of excited murmurs.

You feel a flicker of discomfort, though you keep your smile firmly in place. It’s all part of the show. But as you glance toward Logan, you catch the flash of something protective in his expression, though he remains stone-faced and professional, arms crossed as he keeps his distance.

You clear your throat, quickly steering the conversation back to the movie. “Well, we were definitely dedicated to making sure the audience felt the connection between the characters. We wanted it to be as authentic as possible.”

The reporter nods eagerly, then shifts her attention, sensing the drama just beneath the surface. “Speaking of real life, Y/N, the press has been buzzing about your relationship with Logan Howlett. It must be a bit strange to have your boyfriend here tonight—especially since he’s working as security. How does that dynamic play out, especially with all the chemistry between you and Jason?”

The question hangs in the air for a beat, and you can feel the intensity of the moment building. The flashes from the cameras seem to grow brighter, and for a second, you wonder how Logan is feeling, hearing his name brought into the public eye like this. He’s always been fiercely private about your relationship, careful to keep things professional in public.

You force a confident smile, even though you know the question is loaded. “Logan is amazing, both personally and professionally. He’s been so supportive, and I’m really lucky to have him by my side.”

Jason jumps in, clearly enjoying the extra attention. “Logan’s a good guy. We all know this is just part of the job. Y/N and I have great chemistry on screen, but off-screen? She’s got her guy.” He says it with a playful tone, but you can sense the way he’s subtly stirring the pot.

You glance toward Logan again, your heart tightening slightly when you see the set of his jaw. He’s doing his best to remain neutral, but you know him too well. He hates being reduced to just “the bodyguard” in moments like this, especially when Jason’s tone carries a subtle undercurrent of smugness.

The reporter doesn’t miss a beat. “It sounds like there’s a lot of respect between everyone involved, but there’s no denying the fan theories out there—people are rooting for a real-life romance between you and Jason. How do you handle that?”

You laugh lightly, the sound carrying over the crowd. “I think people always want to believe in the stories they see on-screen. But the reality is, we’re actors doing our jobs. Jason and I had a lot of fun working together, but off-screen, we’re just friends.”

Jason leans in again, this time more for the cameras than the conversation. “Well, friends with great chemistry, right?”

The fans nearby scream in excitement, but you feel Logan’s tension like a heavy cloud hanging in the air. You can practically sense the way his muscles have gone rigid, his eyes locked onto the scene unfolding before him. It’s clear Jason is playing it up for the cameras, leaning into the narrative of a possible romance to feed the buzz around the movie. But it’s a fine line he’s walking, and you know it’s testing Logan’s patience.

Before the conversation can go any further, another reporter jumps in, changing the subject to the film’s themes and comedic elements. You breathe a silent sigh of relief, grateful for the brief reprieve.

As the interviews wind down and you begin to make your way down the carpet, you feel a hand gently press against the small of your back—Logan’s hand. He’s finally close enough to offer a small, reassuring touch, hidden from the view of the cameras but grounding you nonetheless.

“You okay?” he murmurs, his voice low enough for only you to hear.

You nod, giving him a quick, grateful smile. “Yeah. Just the usual.”

His eyes flicker with something protective, but he keeps his expression calm. “He’s pushing it,” Logan says quietly, nodding toward Jason, who is now posing for photos with a group of fans, all smiles and charm.

“He’s just playing the game,” you reply softly, squeezing Logan’s hand in reassurance. “But don’t worry. Everyone knows who I’m really here with.”

Logan’s gaze softens, and though he says nothing more, you can feel the weight of his unspoken words. He’s here, standing by you—always.

The night on the red carpet had been buzzing with excitement, and for the most part, you had managed to navigate it smoothly. Between the interviews and the endless flashes of cameras, you had kept your cool, smiling for the press, exchanging quips with Jason, and doing what you were there to do—promote your movie. But Jason was testing Logan's patience, and deep down, you knew it was only a matter of time before things came to a head.

It happened just as you were wrapping up your final photo op. Jason, standing far too close for comfort, leaned into your ear and said in a voice just loud enough for the reporters to catch, “You know, Y/N, if we ever wanted to try out that chemistry off-screen, I wouldn’t mind.”

His tone was playful, clearly intended to stir the pot for the cameras, but the implication was unmistakable. You shot him a sideways glance, your smile faltering for a split second. The crowd ate it up, eager for any hint of drama or flirtation, but you could feel Logan’s eyes burning into the back of your head.

You knew that was it. The moment Logan would break his iron-clad professionalism.

As soon as the cameras were out of view, Logan was by your side, his hand resting firmly on your lower back, guiding you through the narrow hallway leading to the back of the theater. His grip was tight, possessive, and you could sense the tension rolling off him in waves. You barely had time to register what was happening before he steered you towards a nearby restroom.

With a swift motion, Logan pushed open the door, pulling you inside with him. The click of the lock echoed in the small, dimly lit space, and suddenly, you were alone with him, the noise of the premiere muted behind the thick walls.

“Logan—” you started, but your words were cut off as he turned you to face him, his hands gripping your waist, pulling you flush against his body.

His gaze was intense, darkened with something primal and possessive. “He doesn’t get to say that to you. Not in front of me, not in front of anyone,” Logan growled, his voice low, rough, and vibrating with frustration.

Your breath caught in your throat at the intensity of his words, but there was something thrilling about it, too. The raw need in his eyes sent a shiver down your spine.

“He was just playing it up for the cameras, Logan. It’s part of the game,” you said, your voice a little breathless as his grip tightened.

Logan’s lips curled into a smirk, but there was no humor in it—just a simmering, barely controlled jealousy. “I don’t give a damn about his game. You’re mine, Y/N. And I’m going to make sure you remember that.”

Before you could respond, Logan’s mouth was on yours, crushing against your lips with an urgency that took your breath away. His kiss was fierce, claiming, his hands sliding down to your hips as he backed you up against the cool tile wall of the bathroom. You gasped, your hands instinctively grabbing the lapels of his jacket, holding on as the heat between you two surged.

His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, kissing a path of fire along your skin. “No one else gets to make you blush like that,” he murmured against your throat, his stubble grazing your sensitive skin and sending a wave of desire coursing through you.

“Logan,” you breathed, trying to keep your head clear, but it was hard to focus with the way his hands were roaming your body, fingers sliding over the fabric of your dress, exploring every curve. His touch was possessive, almost territorial, but it ignited something deep within you—a craving that only he could satisfy.

His hand slipped up the slit of your dress, fingers brushing against the bare skin of your thigh, and you could feel the restraint in him, the way he was trying to hold back even though every fiber of his being wanted to take things further.

“Do you know what it does to me, hearing him talk to you like that?” Logan’s voice was a low rumble, his lips brushing against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “Knowing that you’re mine, but he’s standing there, acting like he has a chance?”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “Logan…you know you’re the only one I want.”

His eyes darkened at your words, and he captured your lips again, this time slower but no less intense. His hands slid up your sides, teasing the edge of your dress as his tongue danced with yours, a slow, intoxicating rhythm that made your knees weak.

You could feel the heat between you growing, the way his body pressed against yours, hard and unyielding. The tension that had been simmering all night finally boiled over as Logan gripped your hips, pulling you even closer, as if he needed to feel every inch of you against him.

His mouth moved back to your neck, biting gently at your skin before soothing it with his tongue, leaving a trail of heat that made you gasp. “I need you to say it,” he growled, his voice rough with need. “I need to hear you say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you whispered breathlessly, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. “I’ve always been yours.”

That was all it took. With a low growl of satisfaction, Logan’s lips crashed against yours again, his hand slipping further up your thigh, fingers teasing the bare skin there. The feel of his touch, the intensity of his kiss, made everything else fade away—Jason, the red carpet, the cameras. None of it mattered.

Logan pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his breathing ragged, his hand still resting possessively on your thigh. “Good,” he whispered, his eyes locking onto yours. “Because I don’t plan on letting you forget it.”

The tension hung thick in the air between you as he pressed his forehead against yours, his body still flush against yours, the heat between you practically crackling. There was a promise in his gaze, one that sent your pulse racing.

“Now let’s get back out there,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear one last time. “Before I forget myself completely.”

With a final, searing kiss, Logan reluctantly pulled away, his hands slowly releasing you, leaving you breathless and wanting more. You straightened yourself, smoothing your dress as best you could, trying to regain your composure, even though your pulse was still racing and your mind was spinning from the intensity of it all.

Logan unlocked the door, stepping aside to let you exit first, his hand brushing the small of your back as you reentered the chaos of the premiere. But the look in his eyes as he glanced at you, that dark, possessive glint, reminded you that tonight, no matter what anyone else said or did, you were his girl. Always.

The soft morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. You lay nestled against Logan’s chest, his arm draped around you, holding you close. The events of last night still played in your mind, each moment more vivid than the last. Logan’s possessiveness, the intensity of his touch, the way he had claimed you without hesitation—it left you breathless. Now, in the quiet aftermath, wrapped in the warmth of his embrace, everything felt right. Safe. Like you belonged here, with him.

Logan stirred beside you, his grip tightening around your waist as he nuzzled his face into your hair. His chest rumbled with a soft, contented sigh, and you couldn’t help but smile, feeling the heat of his body pressed against yours. The night had been intense, filled with passion that neither of you had been able to hold back. But now, in the calm of the morning, it was peaceful, comforting.

Your phone, which had been resting on the nightstand, buzzed. At first, you ignored it, not wanting anything to break the serene bubble you and Logan had created. But then it buzzed again—and again.

With a groan, you reached over, grabbing it. Logan, still half-asleep, tightened his hold on you and mumbled, “Ignore it.”

You chuckled softly. “I wish I could.”

Unlocking your phone, you were immediately greeted by a flood of notifications. Texts, social media mentions, even missed calls. Your brow furrowed as you scanned through them, trying to make sense of the sudden flurry of activity.

Then, one message caught your attention. It was from your publicist: "We have a situation. Reporters are already running with a story about you and Logan being… intimate at the premiere last night. They saw you leave the bathroom together."

Your heart skipped a beat as the realization hit you. The bathroom. The heated moment with Logan. You hadn’t even considered that anyone might’ve seen you. The adrenaline, the need to be close to him—it had clouded everything else.

Logan sensed your tension and lazily opened one eye. “What is it?”

You hesitated, biting your lip, then handed him the phone. He glanced at the screen, scanning the message, before tossing the phone back on the nightstand with a nonchalant shrug. “So?”

“So… some reporters saw us leave the bathroom,” you said, half-embarrassed, half-amused. “It’s already making headlines. I guess they didn’t expect us to be so… open.”

Logan chuckled, the sound deep and rough, sending a shiver through you. “They can write whatever the hell they want. Doesn’t change anything.”

You tilted your head to look up at him, his expression completely relaxed, almost amused. “You really don’t care, do you?”

“Why would I?” His fingers traced lazy circles on your bare skin, a slow, deliberate motion that made it hard to focus on anything else. “Everyone already knows we’re together. So now they know we can’t keep our hands off each other. Big deal.”

A laugh bubbled up from your chest at his carefree attitude, and you rested your head back against his chest. “I guess I’m not used to being so… public about things like this.”

“Trust me, sweetheart,” Logan murmured, his lips brushing against your temple, “this might actually do us a favor. If Jason or anyone else was thinking about getting too close, this’ll make ‘em back off. They’ll know exactly who you belong to.”

His possessiveness, that underlying hint of jealousy, was so distinctly Logan. Protective, fiercely loyal, and unapologetic about claiming what was his. It was one of the things you loved most about him. There was no pretense, no games—just raw honesty.

You shifted, propping yourself up on one elbow so you could look at him fully. “And what about you?” you teased, your fingers tracing the outline of his jaw. “What if the press decides to make a bigger deal out of this?”

Logan’s eyes met yours, a glint of mischief in his gaze. “Let them. I don’t care what they say. What matters is right here,” he said, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip. “You. Me. That’s all that matters.”

The sincerity in his voice made your heart swell. Logan wasn’t like anyone else you had ever been with. He didn’t care about the opinions of others, about the noise that came with being in the spotlight. All he cared about was you—and making sure that the world knew you were his.

You leaned down, pressing your lips to his in a slow, languid kiss, letting the warmth of his touch sink into you. “I love you, you know that?” you whispered against his lips, feeling the truth of the words settle deep inside you.

A soft smile tugged at the corner of Logan’s mouth as he pulled you closer. “I know,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble in his chest. “And I love you.”

The phone buzzed again, but this time, you ignored it. Whatever the press had to say, whatever headlines were spinning—none of it mattered. All that mattered was this moment, wrapped in Logan’s arms, where everything else faded away.

You had never felt so sure, so secure. With Logan by your side, you could handle whatever came next—reporters, Jason, the whirlwind of public attention. It was all noise compared to the quiet, steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your cheek.

And as the morning sun streamed through the window, casting a golden glow over the two of you, you knew that no matter what the world said or did, Logan was right. This — right here — was all that truly mattered.

I'm a sucker for soft Logan I'm sorry. If you like the story don't forget to like, reblog and maybe even leave a comment or a follow to read more of my stories! <3

[artbyblastweave]

God, I'm still not over that bit where Reed Richards garbles about zombies' pseudo-Darwinian superiority and then it's revealed he *surreptitiously infected the whole family*. After which he lets them munch him with a euphoric fucking smile. Peak Kirkman.

I'll grant the usual token acknowledgement that that may have been character assassination of Reed, but I've always thought of that beat as a reasonable-driven-mad-by-grief horror-genre beat. The Kirkman-penned parts of that continuity were really really good. He took a half-joke premise and approached it with an astounding unity of aesthetic and tone that didn't quite carry over into any subsequent cracks at the premise, even the ones that were good on their own merits. Dead Days is hands down my favorite one-shot comic of all time

[yoonguurt]

Summary: All you want is to confess to your best friend, but that's easier in theory than in practice.

Pairing: wind fairy!Jongho x water fairy!reader

Genre: Fluff

AU/Trope: best friends to lovers

Word Count: 1328ish

Warnings: Nothing. This is purely fluff

A/N: This is part of the fairy!teez collab with @kwanisms @stardragongalaxy @pyeonghongrie @kpop-stories-21 @flowerboykun @jmin-s @kitten4sannie I think this is my first fantasy au and I honestly had a good time writing it.

Sitting by the stream, your thoughts swirl in your mind and let out a deep sigh. The day has not gone how you wanted it to. The week has not gone the way you wanted it to. You’d planned to spend the day with your best friend, but he had some things he needed to do, which caused him to cancel at the last minute. He had refused to tell you what exactly he needed to do, you assumed some kind of wind fairy duties, which you honestly knew nothing about being a water fairy yourself. The grove you all lived in was separated into little groups based on the type of fairy. Water fairies lived in a little community on the edge of the river, nests made of seaweed and reeds, adorned with shells and whatever other shiny things your kind could find. 

Your best friend was a wind fairy named Jongho, an annoying little thing with a snarky personality. In fact, when you first met, you didn’t like him much. He had a way of telling jokes with a deadpan expression, making people unsure if he was being serious or not. He hadn’t let you dislike him for long, pushing his way into your life seamlessly. And in your heart. Unfortunately, you had fallen in love with the smug bastard. He was such a beautiful being, and he knew it. Most times, he didn’t let on just how much he knew his looks were otherworldly. Though, there were times when a smirk would grace his flawless face when he was complimented. And his personality, when he wasn’t being annoying, he was the sweetest. Always bringing you new shiny trinkets to put in your nest when he found them, brightening your day in any way he could. You had decided today would be the day, today you would tell your best friend that you loved him. Before he canceled at least.

Which brings you to where you are now, sitting on the edge of your favorite stream, thinking of all the ways you could possibly tell him. Th small leaf you were perched on bounced with the wind as your thoughts swirled. You could bring him a trinket, though you didn't know what kind you would bring to a wind fairy. “This is your sad spot, what’s wrong?” The voice came from behind you made your head whip around, seeing the object of your thoughts floating behind you, wings glimmering in the sunshine. His face holds concern and it brings a smile to your face at the obvious care he has for you, even if it is platonic. You call him over with a wave of your hand, and he joins you on the rock you’re sitting on, his hand landing on top of the one planted beside your thigh. 

“I’m not sad, just thinking.” Your voice is almost a whisper as you flash him another smile. He returns the gesture and it’s one of the brightest smiles you’ve seen him have. He quickly looked down, though, seemingly getting shy out of nowhere. He doesn’t reply immediately, but he lifts his gaze to the stream in front of you. A ghost of the smile returns as he looks toward you. “Watch this.” His voice is barely audible, his hand gesturing to the water. You give a little nod and turn your head to see what he has planned. You watch the water for a moment, nothing really happening. All at once, the wind begins to blow over the water, a small whirlwind forming over the water, sucking the liquid up, causing it to swirl around within the wind. “I’ve been learning how to do this for a few days. I wanted it to be perfect before I showed it to you.” Your eyes fill with tears that you refuse to shed. It’s such a beautiful scene, and a very Jongho thing to do. The man always had to have everything perfect. 

You opened your mouth to tell him how beautiful his little trick was, but he spoke before you could. “I also brought you something.” You tilted your head as you looked at him, the nerves written all over his handsome face. He reaches into his pocket and digs around as he looks for whatever he plans to give you. You turn your body toward him fully, taking in his side profile. You watch as he takes a deep breath before turning to face you, his hands in his lap as he fumbles with something. “I found this about a week ago. It’s really pretty and I was waiting for the perfect time to give it to you. It’s for your nest.” He extends his closed fist and opens his hand, a small object laying in his palm. You reach to grab his hand, lifting the present.

It was a ring, the most beautiful ring. It had a light blue gem with swirls of green with a shiny silver band. It looked like water. It was small enough to fit your tiny finger, and you weren't sure how he had found something so small. The trinkets he always brought you were obviously made for the humans. The tears filled your eyes again, this time you were unable to stop them from falling. Your heart swelled with love for the man in front of you. You didn’t think it was possible to fall more in love with him, but this moment proved you wrong. You moved your eyes from the ring to meet Jongho’s, his face barely visible through the glassiness of your tears. “Jongho, it’s beautiful. The most beautiful.” Your voice quivered with emotion as you spoke and you reached out to grab his hand. “I just wanted you to have something as beautiful as you are, though I still don’t think it comes close.” You could see the blush tingeing his cheeks red as he lowered his head.

Reaching out, you grabbed his face and turned his head back to face you. You rubbed your thumbs across his cheeks, smiling widely as you did so. “Thank you, Jongho.” You moved your face closer, resting your forehead against his. “It’ll be really pretty in your nest.” If you hadn’t been so close, you wouldn’t have heard him. You pulled back, shaking your head slightly and lifting your hand toward him. “No, it’s too pretty for my nest. I want you to put it on for me.” You watched as his eyes widened as he looked at you in confusion. You thrust your hand toward him slightly, smiling again and nodding your head at the ring. It felt like slow motion as he took the ring from you and moved to slide it on the index finger of your left hand. You tilted your hand so that your ring finger was in front of the ring. 

His brow furrowed in confusion as he looked up at you. “What are you doing? That’s the finger for a pairing.” Making sure your eyes met his, you nodded, your eyes never leaving his as you spoke. “I love you, Jongho.” Your voice was sure and unfaltering, eyes flickering between his, waiting for a response. Shock ran across his face, taking in what you had just said. The longer he was silent, the more your confidence wavered. You moved to pull your hand back, embarrassment pumping through your veins. Before you could fully retract your hand, his grip tightened. His eyes stared at yours as he slipped the ring onto your finger, before lifting your hand to press a kiss to the back. “I love you, too. Always have.” The ring fit perfectly around your finger and you were sure it wasn't a coincidence, but that was a question you'd ask him another day. A smile lit up his face as his turn to watch your eyes widen came. He let out a small giggle, eyes crinkling. You both leaned forward at the same time, meeting in the middle for a small, but sweet peck. Pulling away, you shared shy giggles, despite knowing each other for years. “I guess this makes us a pairing, huh?” He pressed a kiss to your cheek as you both turned to stare at the stream in front of you. Your day may not have started the way you wanted it to, but it certainly had the perfect ending.

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

i think i'm just on a Dumas kick. after watching like 4 versions of The Count of Monte Cristo, i put on the 1974 version of The Three Musketeers, which i had somehow never seen?? it's so fucking good it might be a perfect movie. it has all my favorite actors, and also Vincent Cassel's dad is in it?? just as foxy as his son btw.

the costuming had me barking like a dog.

the dog chess scene? are you kidding me. the little monkeys riding the big dogs... i cry

Heston is actually a really good Richelieu, surprisingly. the most fun i think i've ever seen him have in a role. Richard Chamberlain was delightful, which is to be expected. the jokes are all great, i was in stitches

i just need somebody to look at me the way Oliver Reed's Athos was looking at Faye Dunaway's Milady because. holy smokes. now THAT'S heterosexual!!

[tobiasdrake]

Alright, going through this third act brawl, it's time for one of my favorite soapboxes: Should male characters be allowed to fight female characters? The answer may surprise you.

(It's yes.)

A lot of writers have a hard time with the idea of male-on-female violence as it pertains to an action series. We're all raised with a basic understanding that this:

is unacceptable.

(Reed knows that too. There's a lot of context to this scene.)

But we're not talking about pulling Little Susie's hair on the playground for no reason or beating your wife. We're not talking about picking on someone or abusing someone.

We're talking about fighting. A bare-knuckle brawl between two voluntary competitors.

A lot of men are raised on "Don't hit women" as a shorthand for not behaving abusively, and rather than reading into that intent, only really see the letter of the thing. Don't hit women. Women are weak. No woman can reasonably fight a man. So no good man should ever fight a woman. It's dishonorable.

"Okay but actually can women be fighters?" is a back-and-forth that we've been having culturally around the globe for thousands of years. And it's alive in well in our modern storycraft. Many writers will go out of their way to avoid putting their characters into a situation where a heroic man must fight a villainous woman.

Where there exists a villainous woman, there will often also exist a heroic woman to counter her so they can segregate the fights. The men can have their manly brawls and the women can have their womanly brawls, and never the two shall mix.

(Or, when they're feeling crafty, they'll let the man fight the woman, but ensure he never successfully lands a hit on her. That way they can have their cake and eat it, letting a man-on-woman fight take place but avoiding making themselves uncomfortable by featuring a male fist colliding with a female body.)

Deadpool plays with this for a joke midway through the film, during Wade's "This shit's gonna have nuts in it" montage.

While slaughtering his way through Ajax Palmolive's minions, Wade comes upon a female minion and has a crisis of progressive masculinity.

But ultimately, the film comes down on the side of respecting women as fighters equal to men. We see this not from Wade, but from Colossus, the character they've been propping up as the moral paragon.

He is more than willing to throw hands with Angel Dust, and the film lets them both get some good hits in.

The film treats female combatants as if they are on the same level as male combatants. In fact, pound for pound, Angel is stronger than Colossus. This is made clear when she catches his fist and bends back his arm.

The fighting is still distinctly gendered, mind.

There's a gag where Angel's boob falls out from clothing damage of their fight and Colossus, ever the gentleman, awkwardly tries to shield his eyes while she fixes her top. Giving Angel a chance to capitalize on his embarrassment with a dick punch.

But this bit happens because Colossus has been fighting Angel Dust with everything he's got.

This is a strong fight, with both Colossus and Angel giving as good as they get. Angel wins, but not for lack of trying (or convenient lack of hit-landing) on Colossus's part.

It still comes down to Negasonic being the one that defeats her but only on the heels of a strong showing from Colossus. This, in turn, solves the separate problem of the film only having one supporting villain to two supporting heroes.

And as great as it is to get a mixed-gender brawl in there, we can't have the two male protags doing all the work, can we?

So we get a really good fight with Colossus and Angel, and Negasonic gets to claim MVP status and sweep in for the KO.

Overall, this is just a really good fight.

[gx-gameon]

Okay but Aknamkanon being involved in Jaden’s school life sounds hilarious.

I am picturing Jaden setting up a small shrine for his grandpa and the others in the Field of Reeds in the Slifer Duel Arena/Dojo (later moving it to the lounge area Chazz builds). He talks to it when he feels like he needs to talk out a problem he feels is too awkward to ask his parents or living family members. Others start doing it too because of homesickness or not having a good relationship with their parents.

Aknamkanon wants to show support to Jaden and his friends but he isn’t in the position to give out old people candy. Instead, he sends cards.

Alexis: Check these out!

Zane: Alexis, what are those?

Alexis: They are called Dryton. It’s a Ritual based archetype that came with some good support! Jaden’s grandfather gave them to me!

Zane: Jaden’s dead grandfather gave you an entire deck of ritual monsters plus support because you talked to his memorial?

Alexis: I’m keeping them. Even if I can’t find a way to use half of them, I’m keeping them.

I do love this, I don’t think it’s cannon but I do love this.

Jaden having to explain who the shrine is to without saying. “My grandfather who is also an ancient pharaoh.”

I know I joked about him having powers but I don’t think Aknamkanon would have any big influence. But sending cards is amazing. He’s putting that spiritual court to work!! Getting them to find duel spirit archetypes and being like “so theirs a kid I think you would work really well with.”

I also love that Jaden just goes and tells his grandfather all of his problems. He probably grew up going to Solomon whenever he didn’t want to go to his dads or uncles/aunts but now being away at duel academy he doesn’t want to call Solomon and start a whole hullabaloo. So he talks to the grandfather who can’t gossip with the rest of the family.

Little monster spirits always find there way to Jaden after one of those talks. Just little cuddly guys that aren’t great in a duel but great for cuddling in the dream scape.

Jaden’s friends see Jaden talking to his grandfather and just assume they were really close and Jaden always talks about how nice it is to just get things done off his chest and talk to someone he knows is listening.

And one day Syrus is really stressed about a test and he’s pacing the room and then he spots the shrine. What harm could it do. He ends up talking to the shrine and then having a full break down about all of his fears and insecurities to Jaden’s dead grandfather. Jaden’s right it is nice to just let it all out. But he doesn’t think anyone is listening until a new Roid car appears. One with the exact ability he needs to pass his practical exam. He hadn’t told anyone about needing this except the shrine.

He tells everyone. ‘Jaden’s grandfather was listening and he sent me this card’

Slowly other members of the group start to talk to Aknamkanon. It’s starts as superstition and prayers for exams but then Chazz finally talks to him and tells him all about his brothers who are being real big jerks right now. He just lets it all out. Everything he doesn’t want to tell his friends. He wakes up the next morning to a brand new deck with a new archetype. Is this what having a grandfather is like????

Yes what you wrote about Alexis absolutely happened. ‘Look at my new cards Zane!!!’ Zane thinks they are all crazy but a chance for new cards isn’t one he’s going to pass up.

It’s tradition by the time the second year rolls around. If you just need to vent and feel like a family member cares you go to sit at Jaden’s Grandfather’s shrine.

Aknamkanon loves it. He has so many new grandchildren. Of course Jaden is the favorite. He is the unmovable first place. But his friends definitely get spiritually adopted

[cinemaocd]

Jenny's June Movies

Portrait of Jason (1967) Furiosa (2024) Beijing Watermelon (1989) Jubilee (1978) The Player (1989) Oliver Twist (1948) Ugetsu (1953) Mank (2020) Living (2022) The Wonder (2022) Summertime (1955) Don't Look Now (1973) The Elephant Man (1980) Klute (1971) The Man Who Laughs (1928)

Portrait of Jason: (***) Fascinating documentary that is just a talking head interview. Film making doesn't get any simpler than this, but Jason Holliday is such an interesting subject that it doesn't matter. Director Shirley Clarke brings us along for the wild ride of a long conversation with this gay, black hustler and cabaret performer living in the Chelsea Hotel in the 1960s.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (***) My favorite so far in the Mad Max saga, the story is rooted in a terrific performance from a child actor (Ayla Brown) melded digitally with Anna Taylor Joy's portrait of the young Furiosa and her rise to the exalted position of Praetorian in the brutal world of the citadel. Containing Easter eggs from all four of the previous outings as well as a confirmation of the mutability of the Mad Max Universe (narration at the end describes the story as a legend whose telling may change depending on the teller), the biggest joy was the quiet, heartbreaking romance between Furiosa and Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke).

Beijing Watermelon (***): After watching Nobohiko Obayashi's House, earlier this year, I was expecting something far crazier than this relatively quiet portrait of a man consumed by helping a group of Chinese students by feeding them from his market stall, to the detriment of his own family and eventually his own health. A memorable fable about the way in which simple acts of care can transform a community, as well as the ways in which ego can play a part in generosity. The movie only gets as experimental and strange as the director's previous work, toward then end, when filming the ending set in China was impossible due to massacre of student protestors in Tianamen Square. Obayashi turns the story into a meditation of film making with a fourth-wall breaking technique to address the difficulties with the viewer. The movie leaves you feeling an ache of sadness especially when you remember the actual history behind it.

Jubilee (**) Derek Jarman directs this violent, bleak look at dystopian Jubilee Britain, featuring a host of punk icons from Adam Ant to Siouxsie Sioux and the Slits. There is also some nonsense about Queen Elizabeth I time traveling into the film. Honestly the most interesting part of the film for me were the glorious aesthetics, with clothes and make-up by Viivan Westwood, who later disowned her work in the film. Adam Ant is the biggest surprise in the movie, he is always charming and watchable, a stand out among the rest of the cast.

The Player (***) Not my first time through this movie, but another viewing solidified it as the top of the pile for 90s Altman. A wonderfully meta film about film making that is so loaded with jokes about film history and industry insider details that it impossible to catch them all on the first viewing. All of this in a tidy film noir package, led by Tim Robbins who plays a souless film executive being pursued by a disgruntled screenwriter.

Oliver Twist (***1/2) Stands out as the best and most memorable new to me film of the month, with a painful caveat. One of the major milestones in director David Leans estimable career, Oliver Twist is marred by his insistence on keeping the character Fagan as he is depicted in the novel, a hateful Jewish stereotype.. The visual look of this film, with its grimy, slicked cobble streets and rooftops of London nightmare fantasy set, would go on to inspire so many movies, but most notably, Carol Reed's The Third Man which came out the following year. Robert Newton is a standout as a terrifying and nuanced Bill Sykes and John Howard Davies ably carries the film as Oliver. Lean beefed up Oliver's role in the last third of the novel, setting up a chilling and dramatic conclusion to the action.

Ugetsu: (***) Another immediate post war film, that is set is Japan of the past in the time of warlords. A pair of couple navigate the coming of war in different ways, leading to devastating unforeseen consequences. A haunting--quite literally--film about war and the inability to ever fully return from it.

Mank (***) This was my second time through David Fincher's dreamy movie, inspired by real life story of writer Herman Mankiewitz, screenwriter of Orson Welles' Citizen Kane, told in a style that closely mimics that classic. While all of it is pretty to look at, and the ensemble cast is up to the task of creating William Randolph Hearst's inner circle, attempts to make real life into too much of a movie, make the whole thing creak at the hinges a bit. Tom Burke stands out as Welles, Amanda Seifreid who I'd previously only seen in Mamma Mia, gives a lovely performance as Marion Davies, Hearsts mistress, while Gary Oldman is transformed through make-up and accent work into Mank. I wish I wasn't so aware of the stage craft, but that too is like the original I suppose and there is enough insider stuff in this movie to make a film nerd like me happy through any number of screenings.

Living (**1/2) a remake of an Akira Kirosawa film, about a dying bureaucrat who does his best to make an impact before he dies, features Bill Nighy in the lead role. Nighy creates a subtle portrait of a man who is practically fossilized in his desk at work, slowly coming to life as he takes on the project of getting a playground built in the post-Blitz London.

The Wonder (**1/2) One can be forgiven for confusing this movie with Lady MacBeth, which also stars Florence Pugh as a young woman in rural Britain, getting involved in a deadly web of intrigue. Like that film, The Wonder features a lot of scenes of Pugh in Victorian dress walking in the windblown landscape, and staring into the camera while she is seated quietly in a room. The setting here is rural Ireland twenty years after the Great Hunger. Pugh plays a nurse who is sent from England to watch a young girl who has supposedly survived months without eating. Hired by the village to either prove or disprove the so called Wonder of the title, the film slowly builds into almost unbearable tension in the final acts. Lovely performance from the whole cast, including, once again, TOM BURKE. (Are you seeing a theme in June Movies????)

Summertime (****): Classic David Lean, classic romance. Is it gay? Well yeah, I think Hepburn's character is a lesbian who has finally met the one dude who does it for her and he fancies her too and it foments a complete crisis of identity. Also it's an ode to women traveling alone and living their best life and having fun and doing walks of shame for the first time and oh I just love seeing this middle aged woman get to be 20 something!. Rosanno Brazzi is so cute and this is the movie that made me fall for him.

Don't Look Now (***): So I watched this and Summertime back to back and wow you could not get two more different views of Venice While Lean's film is more of a straight forward travelogue it's not excessively gritty or excessively pretty. It's balanced and though it is a tourists view it still takes on stuff like throwing garbage in the canal or getting lost. All of those things are present in Don't Look Now but they take on a darker edge. This is a city designed to hypnotize seduce and confuse you and you'd better be careful or lose your life. Features a great twist and absolutely top tier 70s psychological horror with lots of creepy vibes.

The Elephant Man (***): I had not seen this since it was in the theaters and I was so blown away by it. It's every inch a David Lynch film...it's like Eraser head with a big budget in many ways. I seriously can't believe someone watched Eraserhead and said: yeah lets give this guy millions to make our studio film. Even more amazing that the final product is so fucking successful as both a studio film and a distinct piece of Lynchian art. Johnny Gielgud and Wendy HIllier are both in this and both fabulous and Anne Coates is the editor. It's like an ode to British Noir films like Gaslight and The Lodger and especially Oliver Twist--and even a little Pygmalion callback in one scene that HIllier is in. John Hurt plays John Merrick and is heartbreakingly human when those around him can only see a monster. Lynch makes the choice to reveal his face about 45 minutes in and it's so impactful. The makeup is incredible, but also he lets the character exist for a long time so he isn't just the makeup. Anthony Hopkins is amazing playing the Victorian doctor who "rescues" Merrik and ends up exploiting him as well. The real horror of this film is in the realization of his own culpability/responsibility that gets shifted onto the audience.

Klute (***): Part of my Donald Sutherland memorial minifest, this movie really belongs to his female costar. Jane Fonda plays Bree Daniels, a Manhattan sex worker who is being stalked by a former client. There is nothing in The Conversation that isn't done first and frankly better in Klute, using modern technology and paranoia about it to maximum effect. Sutherland plays the titular cop, Klute who has assigned himself to the cause of protecting Daniels. An interesting love story develops between the hardened and wary Daniels and the hardened and wary cop.

The Man Who laughs (***): I got to see this for the first time on the big screen with a new original score performed live, which is the best way to see silent films. Veidt is incredible acting through and over and around this makeup, expressing so much with his eyes. Like The Elephant Man, this is a movie about the way society perceives difference as monstrous. A beautiful love story and a revolutionary social justice vibe tie the room together.

[mercurygray]

Seashells from the March prompts for Marion, please?

George, I hope you don't mind I went in a slightly different direction for this. It's Marion, but it's...not. This is also for the Kind Anonymous Friend who asked for Harding's departure.

He still couldn't believe he'd left them.

His bedroom at Walter Reed was terribly empty - white walls, an iron bedstead also enameled in white, a bedside table, a small chair, a tray on wheels they could place over his bed if he wanted to get work done - if he'd had any work to do, that is. But Neil Harding hadn't been allowed to take any work with him. The 100th doesn't go off ops, and neither do I. He'd been saying it for weeks, even as he was doubled over in pain at his desk and Doc Stover was begging him to tell him what was wrong.

Well. They knew now. Gallstones - a whole lot of them. Easy enough to treat if you got to them early, but he hadn't done that, had he, and now he was back stateside, and his boys were still in it.

They needed me, and I left them.

His boys - and Marion.

There hadn't been a lot of time for good-byes, as they'd been rushing him to the hospital in London, and then straight onto an air evac flight back to the States to recover. He could do a month of bedrest just as easily in DC as he could in England, and there were boys who needed the space close to the war. The Army Medical Department seemed to think he was a total loss, as far as combat readiness was concerned, but he had things to do in England - people who needed him!

Who's going to take care of you, now? Who's looking out for my best girl?

They weren't the kind of instructions you could commit to paper. Red - please look after Marion. Look after, like she needed someone to check on her health. What she needed was someone to kiss her good night - to rub her shoulders and rub her out and fill her hot water bottle and cradle her, very gently, after having sex, at least once a night but perhaps twice. And the particular someone who should have been doing it was presently across an ocean, eating milk porridge and having a full shift of nurses fuss over his stitches and his wound dressing and his bowel movements, like he was some old fogey who would forget things if he wasn't asked.

It wasn't prison, but damn if it didn't feel close. There was a hospital library, and they delivered the papers every day. He was allowed his cigars, and if they liked the progress of his stitches they'd put him back on solid food soon. And they tried for some comforts, where discipline and order could fit them in. One of the nurses had set up his framed picture of Doris and the girls right where he could see it, on the dresser across from his bed. "That's better, now, isn't it, sir?" she'd asked with a sunny smile. "Can I get you anything else, while I'm here?"

He wanted her to take the picture down, but that would look bad. The woman herself would be here in a few days, but until then, he wanted to remain in the war, with the comforts he'd found here. "Lieutenant, there's a…a seashell, in my footlocker, in the top tray." It should have still been there, wrapped in a handkerchief. "Could you - could you put that out, too?" She nodded, and went to check his trunk, before pulling it out - a small, soft, pink spiral of a shell, the kind that you could hear the ocean in, if you held it to your ear. She set it down near the photograph like the two belonged together. "On the - the other side of the dresser, please."

She moved it, as instructed. "A good memory, I hope?"

Neil looked at it and thought of the ocean, and a walk along a barbed-wire edged breakwater in Southwold, a rare private weekend away. She'd found the shell in between the stones, tossed up by a storm. Your favorite color, he'd joked, stroking the pink with his thumb. Your favorite shape, she tossed back, and he realized how the swirl of the shell echoed the curve of a breast, peaking into a pink tip. He'd slipped it into his pocket like a talisman, careful not to break it, and that night he'd kissed those breasts over and over again like he might somehow commit them to memory.

Was it just one memory? No, more than that. But the nurse didn't need to know that. He had left - but she had stayed, and would remain until the stars went out. At least they could depend on her. Neil smiled and nodded, thinking of a woman in a pristine army uniform, laughing in his room's single chair. "The best."

[aydaptic]

While rewatching the cutscene of Gavin at the Eden Club, I realised that Gavin is the type of person who laughs at his own jokes and doesn't give two shits if anyone else laughs with him. Idk, I just found that so endearing and it shows that him being unapologetic doesn't just refer to his pride but also that he isn't ashamed to be who he is.

One of the many reasons why he's so likable to me. Not his fault that Hank, Con, and Chris have little to no sense of humor, lol.

Gav canonically stands up for himself -- like when Hank pulled a gun on him + if the player makes Con act like an asshole to him -- and his opinions. Few ppl nowadays have the backbone to do that unless said opinion is popular.

"Just some pervert who, uh... got more action than he could handle." - Gavin Reed

That joke was hilarious to me, and aimed at a POS who cheated on his wife unless she gave him the (unlikely) go-ahead, so I don't feel bad for Michael Graham whatsoever. Chris cracked a smile, at least... so he found it a little funny. Some ppl really need to grow a spine and learn to appreciate dark humor.

I'm sure I've said it before, but it was the exact moment Gav became my favorite character in the entire game.

[twopoppies]

I adore Harris Reed. I met him once and first of all: he is stunning. Like, he has this sort of aura, it's impossible not to spot him even in a crowd. And he was so sweet, and nice, and warm, so yeah, I definitely have a soft spot for him! But anyway: his comments under Harry's pic on ig are SO telling for me... He's cheeky, he his, in a very graceful way, so of course he could be joking, but it's the constancy that just makes it for me. In the end: just a long way to say "he's gay, Petra" 😅

Oh he just seems really lovely. I’m so jealous you got to meet him, but I’m so glad he’s as wonderful in person. And yes!! His comments on Harry’s posts are my favorites.

[donnerpartyofone]

Are you related to the Donner Party?

No, but that would be a trip! I'm just very interested in cannibalism. Actually this had to be pointed out to me before I realized it for myself, I love horror media but I guess sometimes you don't see something right away when you're too close to it; like all of my favorite films involve cannibalism in some way or other, and my interest in it expands to include anthropology, folklore, criminal history, etc. It was the thing that would have most frightened me when I was a bit more sensitive and it still strikes me as the darkest most perverted form of deviant behavior. It functions as a metaphor for all kinds of things, I find the eroticism of it a little too obvious and easy personally, although you could make the same accusation of stories of colonialism and manifest destiny (RAVENOUS is an all-time fave); to me it's just the pinnacle of antisocial behavior. Like TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE inverts the archetypal American nuclear family by replacing the heterosexual couple who produce more people with an all-male clan who only consume people. That's very interesting to me.

When I was learning about the actual Donner Party, I happened upon a web forum where descendants of the Donners and Reeds stayed in touch with each other. It seemed to me that they did everything in their power to frame their shared history as an example of courage and perseverance and good old American grit, to combat the dark humor usually attached to it (ahem) and the more common understanding of their doomed journey as an example of now-stereotypical American hubris. It was kind of sad to see but I guess nice that they all had each other to defend against cynicism and irony. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be making this gross joke, but I'm not the first (I learned that was Robin Williams) and I'm sure I won't be the last. A story this old and this famous belongs to everybody, like it or not.

[nochuelinha]

Chapter 4 : Getting Closer

Connor took me home, and when we arrived at the door of my apartment, I didn't want to let him go yet. Was it because of the emotions of today? His company might have been a welcome relief amidst the chaos and adrenaline of work. Sometimes, when we go through intense moments, it's natural to seek closeness and emotional support from people we trust. The feeling of not wanting to let him go could be a reflection of that desire to prolong that moment of comfort and security he provides. Maybe deep down, I simply didn't want to feel alone after such an emotionally charged day.

"Do you want to come in?" My voice faltered a bit; will he notice that I got a little anxious? "If you have somewhere else to go, it's okay, I..." Connor put his hand on the small of my back.

"I don't mind staying a little longer with you." His eyes were gentle. "I want to make sure you're comfortable; it's normal to be stressed after almost falling off a building." He joked. The light-hearted banter about the incident in the building helped to ease the tension of the moment, showing that he was there to support me and also to bring a bit of humor to the situation. His warm and comforting presence likely helped calm my nerves, providing a sense of security and comfort in a moment of vulnerability.

My apartment isn't very large; it's just enough for me, it even has an extra bedroom, but it's empty. I asked Connor to make himself at home; he began to look around my apartment. I went to my bedroom and entered the bathroom inside it; I looked terrible, with a tired face and hair all over the place. I took a relaxing shower; it was like washing away all the tiredness of the day. I put on comfortable pajamas and found Connor in the kitchen, preparing tea.

"I took the liberty of preparing you chamomile tea; you have several types of beverages here." He noticed my presence and digressed, smiling at me as he handed me the cup. All of this gave me a sense of familiarity and comfort; it was warm. The gentle aroma of chamomile tea lingered in the air, bringing a sense of calm and serenity as I enjoyed this moment of tranquility with Connor. We sat on the couch; the TV was on, showing a music award program, one of my favorite android idol groups was nominated.

"What do you do when you're not working with us?" I looked back at Connor.

"I usually go back to CyberLife or do reports for Amanda." He looked at me curiously. "Amanda sends me missions; she created me." He explained. His mention of Amanda as the one who sends missions and tasks added an intriguing layer to his story, suggesting a unique and possibly complex relationship with his creator. The revelation also raised questions about the nature of his existence and his role in the world of androids, leaving a sense of mystery hanging in the air as I absorbed this information.

At some point during the conversation, I ended up falling asleep; when I woke up again, I was in my bed, covered by my duvet. I sat up in bed, and there was a note on the bedside table, written in very neat handwriting: "I thought it best not to disturb your sleep and left. If you need anything, just send me a text or call, here's the contact."

With a smile, I tucked the note away in a safe place, feeling grateful to have someone like Connor by my side. I got ready for work and left. Today I didn't see Connor or Hank; I found it strange, but I let it go. Maybe they had other responsibilities or commitments for that day; I continued with my routine, focusing on my tasks of the day and keeping busy with my chores.

Chris had called me to go with him and Gavin for another investigation, including the androids, although I couldn't stand Detective Reed, I entered. Upon entering the Eden Club with Chris and Gavin, you came across a disturbing scene in one of the rooms there. An android was lying on the floor, with thirium dripping from its nose, while on the bed lay the body of a burly man.

The scene made it clear that something terrible had happened there, possibly an attempt at fun that ended in tragedy. Now, it was time to investigate the details and find clues that could lead to solving the case, Gavin made a comment and I left the room.

Spotting Hank and Connor at the Eden Club, you immediately noticed that Hank wasn't in his best condition. He exuded the smell of alcohol, indicating that his previous night had been filled with drinks and possibly heavy drinking. I looked at Connor, who just shrugged. His shrugged expression suggested a mixture of understanding and detachment towards his colleague's behavior; perhaps he was accustomed to dealing with such situations and knew that, at the moment, there wasn't much to be done besides continuing with the investigation. It wasn't news to me either, so I returned to the crime scene with my two partners.

Connor then reactivated the fallen android, a WR400 model; she seemed very scared and told us what had happened. Really, the guy was disgusting; it didn't justify her situation, however, apparently she wasn't the only one who had been rented. Connor left the room and looked around; he approached one of the androids available for rent at the Eden Club to investigate more closely. He was probably looking for additional clues or trying to find any leads that could help solve the case. By interacting with the androids or examining the environment around them, Connor could obtain crucial information that would aid in the investigation and in identifying the killer.

[ill-procastinato]

took this from @1337wtfomgbbq bc yes.

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here's the rules:

1. List your top seven ships

2. Put all of them in order of your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favorite.

3. Name their fandom.

4. Supply photos for said people.

7. Grimpulse - Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft SMP

(artwork by @ink-ghoul )

Please do not question my Minecraft phase, I'm sure y'all had some childish phases as well. (I was obsessed with this duo for a long time, like 3 years?) Ik it's just Minecraft but the chemistry between these two (NOT THE REAL PPL GOD-) was just mmm. Fantastic.

6. Gavin Reed x RK900 - Detroit: Become Human RPF

(art by @thirium-drinker ) (i fricking love their art)

Yes. Video game characters. And this is more recent. I just think they're neat. Bitchy bottom Gavin and cunning top RK900. I love their dynamic.

5. Charlos - Formula one RPF

Finally, real people. Yes ik.

The present Ferrari bois. I mean c'mon. They're just pure souls suffering the wrath of being a Ferrari driver (together uwu).

It is pretty self explanatory, no?

4. Lestappen - Formula one RPF

Redbull vs Ferrari. Always a classic. Also you can't tell me Max doesn't have a soft spot for Charles. Both are the popular hotshots, who fight for the top spot (both in race and bedroom hehehe) and i feel they're very compatible.

3. Carlando - Formula one RPF

THEY LEGIT LOOK LIKE BOYFRIENDS, NO??

this is such a good ship, the banter, the fun. And the rivalry hehe. They are one of the top pairings, if not the best, in the current grid.

2. Brocedes - Formula one RPF

Yes. I chose pain. The lovers to enemies plot. I usually don't like angst but this is so traumatic haha i love it. (Help) For all your angsty needs.

Jokes aside, i think their characters are polar opposites of each other. Which is both complimenting and contrasting.

Honorable mention: Joshler - Twenty One Pilots

Yes, I'm aware I'm very late on the TØP bandwagon, but at least i didn't miss out, right?

Yes so about these two. I love how they do everything together, as one, and never leave the other hanging/ feeling stupid. And also their slightly (very) fruity moments are amazing.

And finally

1. Simi - Formula one RPF

THEMMM!!! AAAA 💥💥

I will spontaneously combust. This duo. IS THE BEST!!! A cold emotion-concealing man falls for an extroverted German twink golden retriever. Or the other way around. They compliment each other so much. They have the best fluff content ever.

Stomach full of butterflies for them eeee 💖💕

So i tag @itsillyakuryakin , @lesharl-eclair , @blorbocedes , @vetteller , and @thatquirkycookie to do this.

And anyone else is welcome to copy this!

[veritys-suspects]

MUGSHOTS ASSORTED MUSINGS AND ASSORTED QUOTES

(rewatching them all bc i have some time on my hands)

muscles loves his doggies

“IM GONNA SUE FOR FALSE ARREST!!”

thanks for pointing out verity is single, knuckles

I gotta question his KID BROTHER ELBOWS

there’s been some kinda misunderstandin 😌

THATS A BETTER PIECE THAN THE ONE CHECKERS WEARS ON HIS HEAD

it’s the silver tongued prince of the courtroom Billy crimp!!! “Go ahead ask me anything about PENGUINS”

Mickey is NOT the GOAT!!!

Ok I am a big Billy Crimp fan

WERE BACK PEOPLE

Episode 11: The One Where Verity Arrests Her Own Dentist

there’s a LOT to appreciate

“Chatty Cathy’s next, you got it - she never stops talkin”

CATHYYYY IS SO PRETTY

a dental hygienist shouldn’t smell THIS bad

I hear the lower guilty sax!!!

rainbow hair talkative chatty princess is innocent 💖

OW that’ll teach me not to floss regularly

marge simpson melted her contacts

“I can’t tell if he’s playin me like that bass of his, so let’s move onto Willow Reed”

Willow was my favorite suspect as a kid bc she’s pretty

FINGERS WEINSTOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“that was some other guy”

“I hate to see a willow weep but that clarinetist better learn to play jailhouse rock”

MY LEMON SISTERSSSSSS

the savages.

honey was at the DOCTOR (also they count her hairspray as part of her height and I like that)

honey: don’t I look beautiful?? verity: a real stunner :)

candy IS playing us for a sucker

“verity verity verity!” “sugar, sugar, sugar…”

“the youngest sister is named puddin…guess they were running out of names”

“the guilty one’s practically confessed” nice!

honeys bitten off more than she can chew!

log nut and his arrow

AHHHH IM WITH STUPID

“ever try singing the star spangled banner it ain’t easy”

I WAS IN ALASKA SNAPPIN PICTURES OF MOUNT RUSHMORE!!

“would’ve won too if I hadn’t hip checked Sheila into the judges table”

Larry is probably supposed to be a robber baron (more on this later)

yay scooter!

YA KNOW the ones that can hold ten gallons of water

APPLESAUCE WENT LEGIT

let’s take a listen to MITCH VANDERBILT 😂

A TOLLBOOTH?????? Yes this Mellon Ball guy was most likely supposed to be in the Felonious Four instead of Larry because he mentions a TOLLBOOTH

*insert Lois dumping gallons of water in a cowgirl hat*

“Mellon Ball knows his left from his right but not his right from his wrong”

“Now that I’ve put this case to bed, it’s high time I did the same” is ICONIC

did someone say PENGUINS??? Billy crimp intensifies

I’ve been wondering the same thing Dean 🐧😂

“IM A BIG REVOLUTIONARY WAR BUFF!!” yea right

yea why can’t dean go to Florida

“Yea, I was at the zoo!” AHA WE GOTCHA GILBERT

“why would i want a penguin?” “why indeed”

FAX MACHINE

“The only person DeLuca wants to take for a ride is me”

“Hammerstein invented something too - his story”

“Good to see not everyone has a thing for penguins”

his name is BABY FACE

“gotta believe me man, I mean woman”

aaaaa budgie aaaa parakeet aaaaand a PYTHON

ok I kinda love slippery fingers

those…YAHOOS

“Leo the lion Lawrence is LYIN.”

we love danger jones!!!!!!

“let’s move onto irv goldberg, let’s just hope his alibi is better than his health”

“ME AND MY OLD LADY WERE AT A MOTORCYCLE CONVENTION IN BRAZIL!!!”

come closer…now you listen GOOD

awww he’s a nice granddad :) or so we think…

how did irv even do that???

go Mildred!!!

DING A LING BROTHERS CIRCUS

“HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA you’re joking verity”

pecs knows TERRARIUM is wrong

I want to flip over

Ivana is drop dead gorgeous

“Hey, I could look that good too…if I had that face and that figure” bro same!!!

titanium, TERRARIUM, and aluminum

BAA BAA WHIPLASH!!!

she’s pretty AND innocent and I like that!

Nah, Ivana isn’t stealing your boyfriend, Verity

peeper’s eyes are listed as “creepy”

UTTERLY IRREPROACHABLE

jimmy-the-geek makes TOOTHPICK SCALE MODELS

Jean-Pierre is INNOCENT OF THE CHARGE

“let’s finish up with Hossenpfeffer floog…her name’s so ridiculous, she doesn’t need a nickname”

“You haven’t been doing your homework VERITYYY”

“that’s funny…her name I mean”

“The pyramids are still around…more than I can say for Floog, cos she’s goin’ to jail”

Verity would do anything for love but she won’t do THAT (“that” being date a dweeb)

Scars: NOT A CHANCE!

“I AM INNOCENT LIL LADY!”

Lollipop Greene is MUCH TOO CUTE to do anything wrong!

“Sir Percival St. John, old school British actor with the emphasis on ‘old’”

not so hot in the cooler eh

hold up, this is a CHILD she is throwing in prison (I am aware juvie is a thing, but still, Lollipop is young enough that her front teeth haven’t grown in so I can assume she simply hasn’t learnt about aviation yet)

“Just because sir Percival is innocent doesn’t mean he’s a good actor. I’ve seen him perform - the guy can’t even act his age”

Bean ball was reading a BOOK

“I’m not accepting taffy from this guy even if I had gloves on”

PAIN in the neck

“I hope they got better books in prison, cause that’s where ballou’s headed”

Edgardo has to use his phone to call his lawyer

“Grandma should be proud and 6’6 by the look of things”

I love Dusty’s little scoff she does after her alibi, it adds a bit of personality

“Twins…that makes Indy either half as smart or twice as dumb”

“I WAS AN AT AN ANTIQUE STORE BUYING 18TH CENTURY CONTACT LENSES 😡😡😡”

Nah, Long isn’t getting a break

ANOTHER COOL GIRL INNOCENT SUSPECT we love you Dusty

“I guess (Dusty) plants the tomatoes so she can ‘ketchup’ with the other racers!!! …hey, no one said crime was funny”

TOUGH GRANNIES!

I’m kinda terrified of Gertrude

THE CUTEST LITTLE COMA

Verity is yapping according to Elaine

“I’m innocent and I want out of this joint”

Mathilda canonically watches professional wrestling

“Amazing what those new vitamins can do”

Did you know you’re going to jail Gertie!

ELAINE GETS 5 TO 10

Fixing the Tuesday night bingo games ❌

Ice Hockey ✅

BRACE YOURSELVES!!!

You know aaaaaa mules a cross tween a HORSE…

…and aaaa DONKEY?

“do you smell a rat, even if Noseless can’t”

OH YA! 3 of em

Harry the Hairy is eleven foot two

“Big Noggin Simms…need I say more?”

“Now that this case is solved, I can breathe a lot easier…wish I could say the same for NOSELESS”