#no income documentation loans

[bullventurecapital]

Why must you choose No appraisal loans?

It can be frustrating to apply for a mortgage since lenders may demand so many documents and appraisals. But, what if you could get the home loan you wanted without all the usual requirements? Introduce No appraisal loans and no income documentation loans.

They entail doing away with some of the familiar loan characteristics hence increasing the possibility of getting a mortgage. A no appraisal loan is specifically a loan that the buyer is able to get without the formal assessment of the home in question. This also saves you time and headaches since appraisals can sometimes cause further delays in closing. The lender does not require an appraisal of the property but rather uses other means such as automated valuation models.

Likewise, No income documentation loans do not ask for pay stubs, W-2s, or other elaborate documents to substantiate income. Contrary to this, the lender substantiates your capacity to repay through your credit report and history of your bank transactions. This is helpful especially where the applicant has irregular income sources such as rental income, commissions or dividends from share investments.

Although the requirements are not as rigid as those applicable to conventional loans, they have their drawbacks. The interest rates may also be higher because the loans offer more risks to the lenders. And it is probable that you will require the best credit rating to secure the card.

However, for the borrowers who are dissatisfied with conventional lending products and their stringent guidelines, no appraisal and no documentation products provide opportunities. If you’d prefer not to go through a long and painful appraisal or search through mountains of paperwork to substantiate income, these mortgages have that going for them. If your income is easily documented, that’s a plus too. They let you borrow money to leverage home equity or buy real estate more quickly, leaving out some typical hurdles.

Like any other loan, it is advisable to compare the offers before enlisting as well as to go through all the necessary paperwork thoroughly. However, if you are interested in speed and convenience of the mortgage process, you can always consider whether these nontraditional loans would suit you. Exemptions from providing appraisal and income documents means more people can access financing that they otherwise would not qualify for under conventional mortgage lending.

[kurthorton-moving]

🧍‍♂️

[reitmonero]

Exploring Home Equity Loan Options for Self-Employed Individuals

Understanding Home Equity Loans

A home equity loan allows you to borrow money by using the value of your home as collateral. Essentially, you take out a loan against the equity you’ve built up in your property. For self-employed individuals, this type of loan can be a useful tool for financing business needs or personal expenses.

Key Considerations for Self-Employed Borrowers

**1. **Proving Income: Unlike traditional employees with W-2 forms, self-employed individuals may face more scrutiny when proving their income. Lenders typically require detailed documentation to assess your ability to repay the loan.

**2. **Income Documentation: Prepare to provide comprehensive documentation, including:

Tax Returns: Usually for the past two years.

Profit and Loss Statements: Detailed accounts showing your business income and expenses.

Bank Statements: To verify your financial stability.

**3. *Credit Score:* Your credit score plays a crucial role in determining your loan terms. Self-employed individuals should ensure their credit is in good standing to secure favorable rates.

**4. *Debt-to-Income Ratio:* Lenders assess your ability to manage monthly payments by comparing your debt to your income. Maintaining a favorable ratio can improve your chances of approval.

**5. *Business Stability:* Demonstrating a stable and profitable business can enhance your credibility as a borrower. Long-term business success signals reliability to lenders.

**6. *Loan Terms:* Be mindful of the terms offered, including interest rates, repayment periods, and fees. Compare options from various lenders to find the most suitable terms for your situation.

Steps to Apply

Assess Your Equity: Determine the amount of equity you have in your home. This is the difference between your home’s market value and any existing mortgage balance.

Gather Documentation: Prepare the necessary financial documents to present to potential lenders.

Shop Around: Research different lenders and compare their loan products. Look for those who specialize in working with self-employed individuals.

Apply: Submit your loan application along with the required documentation. Be prepared for a thorough review process.

Review Offers: Carefully evaluate the offers you receive, considering the interest rates, fees, and terms.

Finalize the Loan: Once you choose a lender, complete the necessary paperwork and finalize the loan agreement.

Benefits of Home Equity Loans

Lower Interest Rates: Compared to unsecured loans, home equity loans often have lower interest rates.

Fixed Payments: Many home equity loans come with fixed interest rates and monthly payments, providing predictability.

Tax Benefits: In some cases, the interest on a home equity loan may be tax-deductible.

Risks to Consider

Risk of Foreclosure: If you fail to repay the loan, your home is at risk of foreclosure.

Impact on Equity: Borrowing against your home reduces the equity you have, which can affect your financial stability if property values decrease.

[charminglyantiquated]

9/25 update on the Nautilus, for anyone curious. Details below (long), but in summary: the damage is more expensive than we'd hoped. We will have to buy Nautilus back as salvage and repair her mostly out of pocket. We still do intend to repair her, but it seems now it will be over a timeline of several years. The fundraiser for her repairs has been raised to reflect the new estimate, and will remain up as long as we're working on her, for anyone who wishes to contribute. I'm so unbelievably, profoundly grateful to all of you who have helped us so far. Thank you so, so much.

Damage: a joint survey was conducted Tuesday between surveyors from our insurance and that of the other vessel. It will be another 3-4 weeks before we have the official paperwork, but the consensus was that the damage approaches twice Nautilus' value. In addition to the mast and all the attached rigging, sails, hardware, etc., the teak deck would have to come up in order to address the damage to the deck and hull. This means that rather than pay for repairs, our insurance company is almost certainly going to write her off as a total loss.

I am waiting for formal documentation before sharing any exact numbers. Once we have them I will be more precise. But the general process as I understand it right now is below, for anyone curious about how everything shakes out.

What a loss means with insurance: my understanding is that repair damages are only covered by insurance up to the point a vessel is totaled. Since the damages almost certainly surpass her value then she would be totaled instead. In this scenario, our insurance would give us the value the Nautilus was insured for, and then pursue the other vessel's insurance for their own reimbursement. Additionally the other insurance might give us the income we lost over the remainder of the season, but whether that will happen and what amount that would be is up in the air, with the three different attorneys we consulted agreeing that we'd be fortunate to get any amount. Anything beyond that is apparently unlikely, any other legal pursuit would possibly lose us more money that we might hope to gain.

On our end: we took out a loan to buy Nautilus in April, and still owe the majority of it. By the terms of the loan, with a total loss we would have to pay back the full loan immediately. Then, because this is essentially our insurance 'buying' Nautilus from us, we would have to buy her back as salvage. The salvage price would be determined by the salvageable parts of her, and the surveyor. Hopefully it would be less than five figures, but it depends heavily on which insurance company actually ends up with her, and how exhaustively they tally up the pieces of her that they could sell. The surveyors could not tell us at the time of the survey who would end up with her or what they would charge. For the next month or two Nautilus is in a kind of purgatory where we do still technically own her, but only until insurance gets through the paperwork, which makes it difficult to begin any work right now.

Financially: when the dust settles, once the loan is paid and we own Nautilus once more as salvage, I think that based on the current estimates we may have some funds remaining. But even in the best case scenario - low salvage price, and we do receive lost income - it wouldn't be enough to finance all the needed repairs. My partner and I will be keeping the fundraiser up for as long as we are working on her, for anyone who wishes to contribute to her repair fund. Any help from anyone who would like to see her sailing again will always be deeply appreciated, but we're both aware it's an absurd number. If we fail to meet it, we're both keenly aware it's not through any lack of generosity - I cannot possibly express how grateful we are for the help we have received already, and what a massive difference it has made over the last month as we deal with the immediate and long-term fallout, covering her haul-out and towing and bills over the months it will likely take to resolve all this.

Fixing Nautilus: my partner and I are still committed to repairing her, despite the cost and the time involved. The thought of letting her be cut up for salvage is too heartbreaking to bear. But at the pace things are progressing and with the resources we have, it's obvious now that it's not feasible to fix her fully over the winter; it will instead be over the course of several years. However, my partner and I hope that by doing as much of the work ourselves as we are qualified for, we can bring down the overall cost of repairs by a fair amount. Additionally, the broken mast was built only a few years ago by a gentleman who still has the plans for it and is willing to guide us through the process of building a replacement. There is a possibility we can connect with a local boat building school's fledgling restoration program. And a great many people have offered their time, advice, expertise, and contacts. The timeline has changed, but we are not giving up on her.

In the meantime: with the survey done, we now have at least a general idea of what the future will look like. Since working nonstop to get Nautilus sailing again by June is not on the table any longer, my partner and I are currently figuring out a long-term plan for ourselves, our little company, and the Nautilus herself. We have discussed a few ideas, which I'll share more about once we settle on anything concrete. Nautilus herself is finally clear of wreckage, with the pieces of her mast on sawhorses beside her, her deck swept clean, solar panel plugged in, and a tarp over the worst of the damage. She's as safe as we can make her for now; there's nothing else we can do except wait for the wheels to turn.

Lastly: thank you all, more than I can say. I have been trying not to miserypost, but I have been having a very hard time dealing with this, as has my partner. It took us ten years to save the money we put into Nautilus, and the few months we were able to spend sailing her together were the happiest and proudest I have been in my life. We have lost the future we'd imagined, and regardless of how this resolves, we are never getting that time back. We are determined not to lose the Nautilus as well, but it has honestly been difficult some days to push through the grief. The one consistent silver lining has been the kindness and sympathy and outrage from everyone who has taken the time to reach out to us. I have been floored, over and over, by how many people we have rooting for us. I am never, ever going to be able to express my full gratitude to all of you. Without exaggeration, you have kept me going.

I will share more once we know more - exact numbers, exact damage, exact plans for repairs and the next steps. Until then, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

[shining-latios]

hey all. I wanted to make a post real quick to say that, starting this week, basically everything is going to change for me in a major way. I'm finally leaving not just my home, not my city, but I'm leaving Ohio for good.

as of yesterday, I have left my job I've been at for the past almost 3 years, and while I'm tying up loose ends this week, preparing for my move, and getting all of my documentation, etc changed over for a new state this week, starting now I am UNEMPLOYED! but as you can imagine, this doesn't mean that my bills and especially my student loans are going to be put on hold to accommodate my move and all these big changes, which means that right now, more than ever, I need my gfm to get attention because my payments are almost $700 a month and I currently have no source of income

>> Link to my GFM <<

This gfm has been active for over 3 years and l've paid several times what it's made out of my own pocket by now, I know everybody is struggling and I really don't want to ask for too much. my bf is going to be helping me out but I really don't want to put the onus of assistance on them. if anybody at all could help give me a safety net while I take the time to look for a new job in the coming weeks/months I would unbelievably appreciate it ;-;

[lulu-nightbon]

alright, i... didn't want to do this. i didn't want to have to do this. especially with all the hate ive been getting in my inbox recently. but i don't have a choice.

hi. im lulu. im a 21-year-old autistic immunocompromised queer person. i currently live with my mother (senior) and my little sister (10 years old). i need your help to get out.

(context and avenues to help below the cut)

as some of you may know, my stepfather died on august sixth from a heart attack. we lived in his parents basement, as it was all we could afford, and we depended on his income. he had a stable job, and mom decided to become a housewife and sell some things from the buisness they created together. when he died, the buisness was dissolved, as it was an llc partnership. his parents are extremely controlling, and as such, he was only able to finally start building up credit when mom came along, and we were almost at the point where he could qualify for a home loan so we could get out and get away from his parents.

that's gone now.

mom cannot qualify for a home loan because of her student loan payments and the credit card payments. we do not have the money to pay these off, and mom is trying desperately to get a job. we need the money to get out, as my stepfather's parents have been trying to get my sister away from my mom and shove both her and i out of the family for years. things are only getting worse now as we have reason to believe they are spying on our conversations and even going so far as tracking us (for example, they found a spare key to the car and went and took it and "cleaned it out" without mom's knowledge or permission, as it's her car now). they have been trying to circumvent mom and go behind her back during the entire process with the funeral home, coroner's office, all the legal documentation, and they are extremely infuriated that they cannot decide anything or push mom out because they are not the next of kin and have been trying to circumvent this. we have reason to believe that they're going to attempt to sell the cars that are still in my stepfather's name to collect on the money and never give us a dime, like they had with almost all of the money my little sister received as part of the college fund we set up at my stepfather's funeral as well as any money that my little sister had won in the past. we will never see a dime of it, and it's extremely upsetting that they are doing this. they have been running scams for years, and they have been nothing but hellish towards my mother, claiming she's withholding information from them when she has offered more than they've asked for and they have done nothing but take my little sister out and about without ever telling mom anything (for example- they screamed that mom was withholding information when she said she didn't copy the tox report for them because it was empty and claimed they needed to know his cholesterol levels [which doesn't even show up on a tox report- they didn't run his blood, either, and they didn't check his cholesterol levels anyway because they know that's what killed him, they could see it] and would not provide reasoning why [it does not affect them anyway just by nature of it being cholesterol], while on sunday they took my little sister out the whole day and failed to communicate with my mother that she would be with them and would be home after dinner).

they have been screaming at mom for collecting social security as though she was stealing their money and demanded that she doesn't get a job, and we have more than enough reason to believe that they are trying to get her to default on the bills so they finally have legal grounds to take my little sister and kick us out, leaving us with nowhere to go and no options. they have even gone as far as to threaten to take my sister away using force in the past, and, as they have firearms, that is a terrifying threat. they are unhinged and extremely upset that they cannot control us and make us do what they want, how they want, when they want, and they are up in arms over it.

when we move out, all hell is going to break loose, but the longer we wait, the worse it's going to get.

my stepfather, being 37 when he died, did not like thinking about his own mortality, so he didn't have a life insurance policy, a 401K, a will, nothing. we have been left high and dry by his death, and that is pushing aside the grief. we do not have the money to pay off the bills, pay for a lawyer, pay to have the car re-keyed to keep them from stealing it again, or to even flat-out buy a house to circumvent needing a loan, and on top of it all we have to deal with stepfather's parents not allowing us to grieve and implying that mom is a tramp and a heartless bitch that will blow any money given to her when she is more financially responsible than them. we also have to worry about them stealing our things, especially with how much they complain about how messy the basement is when most of the things here are theirs (stepfather's parents are hoarders- more specifically, his father hoards cars, and his mother hoards everything else, going out and shopping frivolously almost every day).

we need help with money, and i hate to ask, especially with the requirement of revealing my legal name and in light of the harassment i have been receiving for over a month now, but we need to get out of here, and we need to get out of here soon. it's only going to get worse the longer we stay. we need money to help with the bills, my mom's student loans, getting a lawyer, and getting a place to move into.

im posting this because im the only one my stepfather's parents won't find on any platform that i choose to use. my current goal is $9,000 USD, if only just to get enough money to get a cheap plot of land to move into, or one of the really cheap houses out here. this won't cover the loans or bills in addition, or the cost of getting a lawyer or anything else we need, but it is enough to get us a cheap place to live. i know it's a lot of money, but we are in a dangerous situation and need the money to escape. if we were to pay for everything, the goal would be in the hundreds of thousands, and i feel horrible just asking for this much. if you can't donate, please reblog, even the visibility might help and please do not spread my legal name. please remember to put "payment" or something generic in the reasoning box if it's required so that i will actually receive the funds instead of having my account purged from the site. i didn't want to ask for this, but i have no other options. please help.

c*sh*pp: $lulunightbon

v*nm*: @Lulilial

Goal: $0/$9,000

[cosmicpuzzle]

Mercury ☿️ in Houses- What you are good at?

Mercury in 1st : Good at starting conversations, asking different questions, thinking of different possibilities, cognizing the environment.

Mercury in 2nd: Good at making money, good at finding new source of income, good at public speaking, good at cooking ingredients.

Mercury in 3rd: Good with gathering information, good with hands and manual jobs, good at making friends/acquaintances.

Mercury in 4th: Good with psychology, understanding people's emotions and feelings, good with remembering past events, good with real estate.

Mercury in 5th: Good with young children, kids, story telling, drawing, speculation, writing short stories, romance fiction.

Mercury in 6th: Good with exercise plans, fitness lessons, diet and nutrition, cooking, loans, finance, accounting.

Mercury in 7th : Good with PR, sales, marketing, advertising, business, counselling, law.

Mercury in 8th: Good with astrology, occult, psychology, finding secrets, detective jobs, investigation, medicine.

Mercury in 9th: Good with teaching, preaching, managing travel itineraries, tour guide, foreign languages, law, publishing.

Mercury in 10th: Good with executive jobs, admin jobs, good with Government work, paper work, documents. Good at time management.

Mercury in 11th: Good at networking, making new friends, building online presence, social media, good at influencing, promotions, business skills, entrepreneur.

Mercury in 12th : Good at imagining, contemplating, good with abstract concepts, psychology, poetry, medicine, chemistry, fiction.

[ms-demeanor]

$7.25 $1231

Apply today Sign up for text alerts to see drive-thru pantries in your area Join us after services for a homemade meal and prayer support Limited to single mothers, the elderly, and the unemployed Sign up for a backpack plan: food assistance for low income families If you are in need of a hot meal join our waiting list Include your email for notifications if your cart is funded Your application will be reviewed in 7-10 business days Weekly shared meals on Tuesday at 2:30pm Those with current government ID and a local address are welcome What documents you need to sign up for SNAP benefits LEARN: click this link for tips on nutrition LEARN: where to find coupons online LEARN: penny-pinching tips at the grocery store LEARN: how to start a saving plan LEARN: part-time jobs that will work with your schedule r/personalfinace r/povertyfinance r/randomactsofpizza r/beermoney First time Donor? What you need to know First weekly visit: $40 Second weekly visit: $70 How to treat a hemotoma at home Can meditation lower your resting heart rate? Five foods high in iron Three signs that you might be dehydrated Securing a loan is easy and fast Available to consumers at all levels of credit To help cover life's little emergencies Your title is returned when the lien is released Get approved in minutes Apply today

[nyaagolor]

The software I use at work is Not Working and I have an hour to kill before I can go home so here’s some HCs about assorted characters’ living situations bc I wanted to make notes for myself for fic purposes:

Phoenix: Used to live in a regular apartment, but moved into the apartment above Wright and Co Law offices with Trucy after his disbarment. Edgeworth paid off the building’s mortgage after Turnabout Goodbyes so Phoenix doesn’t have to worry about rent

Edgeworth: Owns a penthouse in LA. He rents hotel penthouse suites while in Europe but doesn’t have a permanent one anywhere other than LA because he thinks it’s a hassle. There’s a locked room in the LA penthouse filled with Steel Samurai merch

Gumshoe: Rents the shittiest basement studio you have ever seen. Does not own a bed. Genuinely questionable if the building is up to code (it’s prolly not)

Maya: Lived in Kurain Village until Mia’s death, then moved into the apartment above the office. After BttT she moves back to Kurain

Pearl: Lived in Kurain until her mother’s incarceration, then moved in with Maya in the upstairs apartment, then back to Kurain with Maya after BttT

Mia: Lived in Kurain Village until she founded Fey and Co law offices with Diego, at which point they moved into the apartment upstairs together until her death

Diego: Lived in a regular LA apartment until he founded Fey and Co with Mia. They moved into the upstairs apartment together until his coma. When he wakes from the coma he spends about half a year recovering in the hospital, then throughout AA3 just loiters around the courthouse because he refuses to speak to Phoenix. After BttT he goes to prison and moves in with Maya and Pearl in Kurain Village after his release

Franziska: Technically lives in the von Karma estate with her mother and sister, but is so busy traveling that she mostly stays in hotels. She used to spend holidays there, but Edgeworth has taken to inviting her to stay with him because she's not very close with the rest of her family, so now her room is mostly just storage.

Ema: Her and Lana lived in their parents’ house together until Lana’s imprisonment, during which Ema moves to Europe with an exchange family. When Ema returns from Europe, she moves back into the house with Lana joining her when she’s released

Apollo: He lived on the road with Thalassa and Jove until the latter’s death, then with Dhurke in the countryside, then in an American orphanage until he was 18, at which point I imagine he crashes on Clay’s couch for most of law school because he is technically an orphaned illegal immigrant with absolutely no money or credit. The internship with Kristoph and his job with the WAA gets him enough money to actually rent a place, but his lack of documentation and student loans mean he’s in the cheapest possible apartment. He keeps it extremely neat but there's only so much one can do. He and gumshoe can commiserate about it.

Trucy: Lived mostly on the road / in the tourbus + hotels with her dad and the troupe until she was adopted by Phoenix, at which point she moved into the apartment above the WAA

Klavier: Lived in his parents’ mansion with Kristoph until going to Themis. When he moved back he had enough money from gigging / his band to buy a fancy ass house and still lives there. It’s a little lonely by himself but when he let Daryan throw parties there it was POPPIN

Kristoph: Lived in his parents’ mansion his entire life. He got ownership of it when they died and raised Klavier in it, and continued to live there until he got arrested. Now he’s cushy in solitary cell 13

Athena: Lived in the space center then was shipped off to European relatives when her mom died. When she moved back to the states she got a decent apartment bc her WAA income was supplemented by those rich as hell European relatives

Simon: Lived in a small apartment with his sister growing up, which he continued to live in after she moved to the Space Center. It was sold when he was incarcerated. After his release he moved in with Athena briefly (no one thought it was a good idea for him to live alone) then to a small but nice apartment, which Edgeworth paid for until he could get back on his feet financially

[bullventurecapital]

No Income Documentation Loans: Everything You Must Know

Traditional loan processes can be cumbersome and time-consuming for most property investors and borrowers. Extensive income documentation and appraisals create significant hurdles to extensive requirements. Fortunately, no appraisal and no income documentation loans offer streamlined borrowing alternatives that simplify and expedite the process of borrowing.

One of the most apparent benefits of no appraisal loans is the increased speed of the process. Part and parcel of this truth is the feature that such a loan provides the same basic benefits to individuals who need a small amount of money. Borrowers can benefit from this swifter access to funds, especially in highly competitive real estate markets where time is money.

Instead, when appraisal is not required, numerous documentation has to be disposed of. Borrowers are saved from all the hassles of scheduling and coming up with times to get an appraisal conducted, then waiting to get the findings. These reduce the paperwork and other administrative work needed to secure the loan.

Ideal for Low-Value Transactions

No appraisal loans are most useful for properties where appraisal is not significant. Incongruently, the cost and duration required to carry out an appraisal on such properties usually are difficult to justify. These loans provide a real solution and offer the transacting parties an opportunity to carry out the transactions at hand without delay or expenditures that might not be necessary.

Some borrowers would rather not reveal a lot about their personal finances and prefer to keep all their financial dealings personal. No income documentation loans allow a discreet manner of borrowing for the person desiring to remain silent by a large degree on sensitive income data that would otherwise be necessary to access funding. Such privacy may be of special concern for affluent borrowers and those in delicate financial positions.

No appraisal loans and no income documentation loans have some valuable benefits that help address definite borrower needs. No appraisal loans are more popular among borrowers who want a lot of time and money saved with a quicker loan approval process, which is ensured by reduced costs and easier application.

[pianokantzart]

A Picture of Wealth

A quick oneshot for a possible beginning of a Luigi's Mansion movie. Not particularly exciting, but if you like quiet Mario and Luigi slice of life stuff you'll probably like this. I started writing this a while ago, but this post by @theangelofangst inspired me to finish it. AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49496971

_____________________________​​

After waving ‘goodbye’ to the Mail Toad, Luigi popped open the mailbox and pulled out a stack of envelopes. He scanned them for a moment, loosely sorting them in his mind. It was easy to tell what came from The Mushroom Kingdom and what came from Brooklyn; bright, pastel colored envelopes and fountain pen clashing against cold copy-pasted text on plain white. There was a ‘thank you’ card from a neighboring toad whose sink they had fixed free of charge, a little flier advertising a free upcoming performance in the square, and a pretty, pink envelope embossed with a crown, whose handiwork was easy to recognize. Even the bills were friendly and personable, though they formed as much of a pit in his stomach as the cold typeface from Brooklyn.

For Mario and Luigi, living on their own had been an adjustment, and having an actual income was a serious learning curve. There was an initial high of having money in their pockets, which led to a spending spree to replace much of their oldest tools and equipment before independent living’s new stack of expenses hit them like a train. Still, they had been fairly cautious. Despite a few poor initial decisions they would’ve had enough money to stay out of the red… had it not been for one giant curveball that had been thrown at them.

Luigi stepped back through the front door into the kitchen where Mario sat at the table, hatless and disheveled, hunched over a computer and a stack of papers where he’d been since sunrise. One hand tapped a pencil against a notepad, the other pressed their shared cellphone to his ear.

“Dad, it’s alright. You need it more than we do,” Mario said, “No, forget it, I- no, it’s not a loan.” Luigi couldn’t help but smile as he peeked around the doorway and listened in. It sounded like their father had discovered the check they sent them, and was reacting about as expected. He at least sounded lively from what he could overhear… when they first got the news that he was staying in the hospital for a few days, Mario and Luigi feared the worst. Luckily, it seemed their dad had the family’s hereditary trait of being able to bounce back from just about anything, the bad news was that despite twenty five straight years of company loyalty, getting the help owed to him by the insurance was like pulling teeth.

“Look, I’m a little busy. We’ll talk about it at Sunday lunch, okay?” Mario sighed, “Yeah. Okay. You too. Bye, Dad.” With that he hung up, and set the phone to the side.

“Sounds like he’s feeling better” Luigi laughed, finally stepping into the kitchen to deliver the mail to the table. “Yep.” Mario replied with a tired chuckle, barely even glancing up from his work. “Not well enough to work yet though, as much as he wants to.” “Did the check get deposited?” “Mom managed it under his nose, but it might be the only check that goes through for us this month if I don’t figure something out.” Mario sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “Ugh, why did I replace our van’s entire engine. All it needed was a few new spark plugs!” “The Garrisons still owe us for rerouting their fountain." Luigi assured, "I’ll send them an invoice.” He stopped for a moment and looked over Mario’s workspace: every possible refund for unnecessary expenses noted and listed, every document scattered about like the stress of the room had caused a miniature explosion on the kitchen table, a mustard-stained receipt for a strap wrench having made it all the way to the empty dishes from lunchtime. Luigi reached over his brother’s shoulder to retrieve the dishes and arrange some of the papers into neat little piles. Mario leaned to the side to give him room.

“You know,” Luigi began hesitantly, “maybe we should ask Princess Peach if-” “We are not asking the princess for money.” Mario interrupted. “No no… I mean, maybe she can void our water bill or something?” “She gave us a free house Luigi! You really think it’s right to ask her for more.” “Maybe?" Luigi shrugged, "I mean, protecting the kingdom has kind of interfered with our work schedule.” “We do that because it’s right, Luigi, not for a paycheck.” “I know!” Luigi raised his voice a little in frustration. He stepped away from the table to deliver the empty plate and glass to the sink, rinsing them off and scrubbing them a little too aggressively to let off steam, “But I’m sure if we explain our situation, she can do something.” “I told you, the answer is no. We’re not bumming off of anyone, especially not Princess Peach.” “It’s not bumming, it’s asking for help! There’s no shame in asking for help. When you need help, you need help!”

Mario didn’t answer, he just grumbled quietly to himself and returned to the bills. Luigi rolled his eyes, scrubbing clean a few extra dishes and placing them in the drying rack before he returned to where his brother sat. He leaned against him, resting his forearm on his shoulder in a purposefully obnoxious way. “You’re as bad as Dad is.” “I am not.” “Are so.” Luigi smiled mischievously, “You look like him too. I’m probably gonna start calling you ‘Dad’ on accident when you start losing your hair.” Luigi tussled his brother’s auburn locks. Mario pulled away, unable to help but laugh as he grabbed one of the pieces of junk mail on the table, crumpled it up, and threw it at Luigi in retaliation. “Will you get out of here?”

Luigi blocked the missile with his hand. He attempted to catch it, but it tumbled out of his slippery grip and landed on the floor. Luigi intended to take it directly in the garbage, but leaning down to pick it up the colors caught his eye… and he realized he did not quite notice this particular piece of mail when he initially emptied the mailbox. Interest piqued, he uncrumpled the paper and read it. His brow raised and his heart skipped a beat. “Mario!” he declared, the sudden exclamation making his brother jump, “We’ve got a free mansion!” Mario let out a loud groan, turning around in his chair. “Oh come on Weegee! It’s an obvious scam!”

Luigi shook his head. “No no, they’ve got a map and an address and everything!” He turned the pamphlet over in his hands in order to reexamine the large block of text on the back, “It says ‘only a select few who apply for noble titles, such as those who are known locally for their heroism’ … that's us!... ‘ are receiving this limited time offer’!” Luigi looked up from his reading to grin excitedly at Mario, who looked back at him with a bored expression. Luigi, undeterred, returned his eyes the advertisement. “There’s a place called Evershade Valley with a big, beautiful mansion in the center of it. Look!” Luigi held the picture out to his big brother, shoving it a little too close to his face in his excitement. “Neo-Gothic architecture!”

Mario took the flier from Luigi’s hands to scrutinize it more closely. The cover image seemed sketchy. The coloration was off, the greenery in the lawn looked doctored, and the giant, garish rainbow plastered into the background reeked of overcompensation. “Sounds like just the kind of padding they’d add to a scam to make it seem like a little less of a scam,” he mumbled, eyes trailing down to the map beneath the image of the mansion. “Evershade Valley… looks like it’s not too far from The Dark Lands. Are you sure about this?” Hearing ‘Dark Lands’ Luigi stiffened a bit, bringing his hands close to his chest as he reconsidered for a few seconds. “It’s near The Darklands, not in The Darklands.” He decided after a moment, “Maybe we can flip this place!: reinstall some plumbing, fix up the wiring, add a fresh coat of paint… boom! Money in our pockets!”

Mario gripped his chin, running a thumb over his mustache thoughtfully. No way it was that easy. If this was really a free mansion like the advertisement said, it couldn’t be anything other than a dilapidated shell that wasn’t worth the investment. If not that, there was no doubt something wrong with the location… nobody simply gave away free mansions. 

On the other hand, Mario was impressed that Luigi maintained interest despite its close proximity to The Darklands. Given his past experiences, Mario expected him to back down at the mere mention of that place. The fact that some old building was enough to overshadow those fears made his desire hard to ignore. That, and Luigi was giving him that stupid sad-eyed pleading face that Mario could never say no to. He let out a heavy sigh, smoothed out the pamphlet a bit with his fingers, and handed it back to his brother. “Fine. On one condition.”

“Really!?” Luigi cheered. He threw out his arms to pluck his brother up into a hug, when Mario extended a hand to stave him off a moment.

“On one condition.” He repeated, “You stay here and run the business while I’m away. We can’t afford to miss any clients.”

Luigi deflated. He withdrew his arms and anxiously rubbed the tops of his hands. “Run the business… alone? Just me?” “If I take a warp pipe I shouldn’t be gone longer than a day. You’ll be fine.”

“No I won’t.” Mario cocked his head. He was startled by the terseness of the reply, upsettingly certain in its pessimism. “What do you mean? Of course you will! You just got a few leaky sinks and a running toilet. Nothin’ major.”

“Mario, name one time I did something completely on my own that didn’t turn out a disaster.” Mario opened his mouth to respond, but stopped. He thought things over a bit longer, opened his mouth again, then shut it again to think some more. It was difficult enough recalling a time that Luigi was on his own to begin with– they worked together at every opportunity– but when circumstances drove them apart, even for the briefest of moments, Luigi seemed to always end up in some kind of trouble. Mario’s eyes brightened as one instance popped into his mind. He smiled and snapped his fingers. “Aha! seventh grade! You made it into the Wizard of Oz musical! Played a really good Tinman!” Luigi smiled despondently, crossing his arms. “Mario, I vomited on stage.” “Only during the final bow. The final bow doesn’t count.” Luigi’s expression only grew more troubled as his arms tightened against his chest, and his eyes remained fixed to the ground. Mario stood up from his chair. He walked up to his brother, and took his face in his hands. “Hey, c’mon, don’t look like that,” he said, lifting his Luigi's head to meet his gaze. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you just need a bit more confidence.” Mario’s grip fell from Luigi's face to his shoulders, giving them an endearing squeeze. “Maybe it’ll be good for you to give it a shot on your own. Your luck can’t be all bad, can it?” Neither of them quite knew the answer to that. Both of them stood silent for a moment as Luigi looked at his brother, then down at the pamphlet in his hand, and the big, beautiful mansion on the front. He couldn’t quite figure it out, but something about the place resonated with him. It made him remember being a kid, reading through his mom’s interior design magazines– the sense of wonder and possibility they incited, and the quiet longing to have such a place of his own to wander and explore. He folded the flier, placed it in his pocket, took a deep breath, and sighed. “I’ll do it.”

“Ha ha! That’s my bro.” Mario released his brother’s shoulders to give him a friendly jab with his elbow. “Maybe it’ll be good for you to try to work the business on your own! Just… make sure that clients put their dogs away before you set foot anywhere.”

Luigi grimaced. A small shudder ran up his back as he remembered the incident with Francis The Dog at their first job. Wondering what might have happened to him if Mario hadn’t been there to come to his rescue, second thoughts quickly began to creep in. “Maybe it is a scam–” “Nope! Too late. We’re doing this.” Mario had a fresh determination in his voice as he pulled out his chair and sat back down at the kitchen table. “I’ll finish balancing the checkbook tonight, then leave in the morning– 8 a.m sharp. If I hurry, I might be able to get home in time to help you with the last few jobs.”

Luigi knew that tone. No matter how much his brother initially hated the idea, once he started talking like that there was no stopping him from following through. Luigi had dug his grave, it was time to lie in it. Trying– and failing– not to think about everything that could go wrong in a single work day, Luigi began looking around for something to occupy his mind. The dishes were done, the garden was weeded, and he didn’t need to start dinner for another few hours, so he went to the broom closet and pulled out his vacuum. Plugging it in and unwinding the cord he went to work, allowing himself to get lost in the satisfying rattle of dirt being sucked away as he meticulously went over the carpet and wooden floor bit by bit, until every square inch of the house was clean and tidy.

[akariamai]

The Golden Dagger Club

Pairing: Shang-chi x symbiote!reader

Word Count: 2145

You were just starting to repair the damages of a recuperating career and then the Blip happened. You were dusted away for five years and appeared back into your shitty apartment – your old shitty apartment that was occupied by someone else – and were left with nothing. Your clothing and furniture were all thrown away and your renewed show was trashed because everyone still alive was trying to cope with the loss of loved ones.

To those that stayed, you were considered lucky. Is it lucky to have nothing to come back to? The banks refused to help and getting any loans needed minimum of five years of income. Obviously that’s impossible as you were dusted for all five of those years making the institution useless. No one was willing to hire either as you were often overqualified or lacked any recent experience in the workforce.

Unlike some of the others who also disappeared, you didn’t have a family to help you adapt to the new culture that flourished whilst you were gone. There was still a semblance of the old but you were on your own.

Waiting was the worst. The United Nations were scrambling to provide provisions, documents, and other essentials for those who came back. It was a real shit show and at times, made you wish you never came back.

You had to worry about scavenging enough food for Venom or else it’s your organs that’ll be on the menu and you want your organs to remain intact and uneaten. You also don’t want to watch Venom bite someone’s head off again. You had to work fast as Venom was most likely going to starve and the government wasn’t working fast enough.

You heard murmurs of an underground tournament that pays very well for winning contestants. You weren’t a stranger of questionably immoral activities. You and Venom needed this. It was a saving grace in the waiting game of darkness. The United Nations were behind on provisions and housings, and you couldn’t wait for the miracle of them hurrying along the process.

So you left. The world didn’t need to know you were back, undusted and alive. It had moved on without you and there was no point in sticking around. The world would believe you were the unlucky ones to be at the wrong place during the Snap.

The world would get to learn of the existence of Venom, see the both of you as more than a blurry black figure from security cameras. See the two of you reappear after your hiatus. Your reappearance will be on that podium, hundred of eyes on you, seeing you, and cheering for you. 

You had arrived to your brand new start. A new beginning to the end of a shitty chapter. “Welcome to the Golden Daggers Club! We’re a multi-platform global operation. Every fight live streamed on the dark web. Thousands of viewers placing bets as we speak.” The ringmaster, Jon Jon, explained as he handed you the sign up sheet. You read carefully, not wanting to be screwed over in the end, and when you deemed everything acceptable you signed on. It was fast and easy. Pen on paper and suddenly a new door opened.

There must’ve been hundreds of people in the unfinished building. Small cells, containing smaller fights, lead up to the giant podium where the grander fights and higher betting stakes take place. Within the club, you had to earn your place. Starting in those small cells and work your way up to become a favorite.

Your first opponent was no one memorable. They were enhanced to some degree but nothing remotely close to be able to take the two of you down. It was almost too easy but Venom adored the attention they’d garnered. On the other side of the cell were many onlookers, wanting to see more of the alien creature. It was itching more for fights, more advanced opponents, and scoring chocolate money. The club loved Venom. The fame and attention caught the curiosity of the club’s founder. 

Xu Xialing was cold, complex, and a fighter. Her coldness was strictly targeted to men but once she saw the person beneath Venom, she’d lighten up around the two of you. You became her friend. You’d learn bits and pieces of her past while you shared yours. She’d given you a chance to start anew even if she didn’t know it. You felt like you owed her for providing a way to provide for Venom in a way your old job couldn’t. You and Venom took it upon yourselves to take out the trash, people who were trying to shut her operation down. The club meant so much to people and you didn’t want anyone to shit on the empire she’d built. 

It was a night like any other. Bets were placed and the money just kept coming. The bar was filled as always and Venom was itching for its turn. “Take it easy on the chocolates, it’s about to be your turn.” You were currently watching the fight between Abomination, who was broken out of prison by his opponent, and the current Sorcerer Supreme, Wong. Wong seemed overwhelmed at first but managed to get Abomination to punch themselves. 

“I’ve worked up an appetite.” Venom grunted as they bit the whole chocolate bar in its entirety. You could feel it buzzing with excitement. 

Wong had won his fight and you were walking towards the main stage. “Doing what, sitting?” You replied as Venom’s pitch black skin covered you fully. Your thin arms concealed by its large muscles and build. No one in the crowd would ever guess who was underneath its skin.

The name of your opponent was called Flux. You had seen his fights before, seen him climb up ranks. You nor Venom were worried though. You’d let Venom take full control as it was its moment not yours. Venom tore onto the stage, hyping up the crowd, and waited for the fight to begin. The lights, the cheers, and the overwhelming anticipation riddled your being. It was exhilarating and you couldn’t wait for Venom to have the time of its life.

Flux wasn’t overpowered by much. Having superhuman strength, stamina and durability assists in keeping up with you and Venom. You’d been lucky no one has caught on to your weaknesses. As Venom controlled your body, you thought about how different your life had become and how thankful you were for being the right match for Venom. Feeling the immense happiness originating from it makes you happy. You knew Venom felt miserable hidden within your body, not allowed to stretch till night fell. Here in the club, it didn’t matter. Almost every fighter had some enhancement that made them different from everyone else. Had skills most didn’t possess.

Once the fight was over, the club’s staff members dragged Flux away towards the locker room. Venom, after celebrating its win with the crowd, followed afterwards. A giant teeth-filled grin dwelled on its face until its skin disappeared into your body.

You opened your designated locker and pulled out a box of chocolates and a 12 pack of diet soda. Opening them one by one you feed Venom by placing them into its mouth and congratulating them on its win while you consume the diet soda. In moments like these Venom resembled a puppy. Craved for your attention and wanted to feel loved. 

You’d notice Jon Jon speaking to someone you’d only seen on your phone. The Bus Boy video that’s been dominating the internet. Venom had dismissed the guy as he wasn’t anything special except for maybe his delicious brain but you didn’t want to find out.

“[Reader], Venom,” Jon Jon yelled, “the boss wants to talk!” The guy next to him watched curiously at the Venom head appearing out of your side.

“If anyone steals even one chocolate or soda, I’ll bite your head off and feast on your organs.” Venom made sure to show off its teeth to the remaining contenders before going to Xialing’s office. You sat down on a chair waiting for her to arrive. Jon Jon left the dubbed Bus Boy in her office as well. He stayed standing, not knowing what to do. He was nervous, that was evident, and a bit awkward.

“Do you know who we are supposed to meet?” He didn’t know how to talk to you or Venom. If he were being honest, Venom kinda scared him. The threats given did not help at all. “I need to find my sister. Do you know her, Xu Xialing?” You noticed he kept a white tissue around his nostrils. The metallic smell of blood allowed you to know the reason why.

You stayed quiet not knowing the reason as to why he was asking. Knowing he was in her workplace, she’ll show herself eventually.

She walked in, taking her place behind her laptop.

“You run this place?” He talked in Mandarin. 

“I own it.” She replied back. 

Another woman was let in by Jon Jon, counting the stack of cash as she walked into the room. She was adorable when she was caught red handed. Having bet against the man, her friend apparently. “Did you bet against me?”

“No.” She lied. “I bet on that Venom dude earlier.” In an attempt to change the subject, she turned the attention on you and Xialing, “Hi Xialing and stranger. I’m Katy. You’re, like, such a badass. Everything that you do is, like, so cool. That was really cool.” She walked towards one of the seats next to her friend, which you still did not have a name for.

“This is [Reader].” Xialing replied, “The Venom dude from earlier.”

Katy gasped excitedly, “No way! I thought Venom had more muscles. Love the costume by the way. What fabric do you use?” She shook your hand frantically and laughed, “Your fight was so amazing. You made me a lot of money.”

You had never integrated with someone who had so much shameless confidence. She had seen you and Venom fight and she was treating you like a hero. Most run away at the sight of the two of you. It was a nice change of scenery. “Alien, I guess? Venom come out and say ‘hello’ to a fellow fan.”

“A fan…” He muttered as he moved his head towards her, “So unafraid, so courageous. You shall not be eaten.”

She chuckled nervously, “Thank you.”

“I like your pants.” Xialing turned the conversation towards herself.

Katy blushed, “Thank you. Thanks. Yeah.” She was obviously flattered by the compliment as she smoothed out her yellow pants.

“What do you want?” The coldness of Xialing's voice appeared suddenly. A certain sharpness you had never heard, finally making its existence known.

“The Ten Rings ambushed us in San Francisco.” San Francisco was the place where you once lived. The tomb of the life you once had. 

“I saw the video.” Everyone had seen the video. It became a viral phenomenon which was rare as it raced against hero and alien sightings, and meet and greets with international heroes.

“They took my pendant. They’re gonna come for yours next.” You had learned about the pendant Xialing never took off as it was a gift from her mother. To learn he shared the same or similar pendant must mean only one thing. “I don’t know what he wants with them, but we both know it can’t be good.”

“You know what he said to me when he left?” You heard this story only once. It was a painful memory of abandonment and the loss of a sibling. Not in death, but in spirit. Lost of hope while living in the fragments of an once happy family. “‘I’ll be back in three days.’ And after three days, I went to our mom’s shrine and waited. Three days turned into a week, a week turned to a month, and a month turned to six years. That’s how long it took me to realize I didn’t need him any more. I built this place on my own. I didn’t need you then, and I don’t need you now.”

“I volunteer to eat him.” Venom liked Xialing. She snuck chocolates to it and was the first person, who wasn’t [Reader], to not be afraid of it. She gave you and it a home. “I’ll make it painful.” He licked his lips to scare Xialing’s brother even more.

Xialing smiled at Venom. It was the thought that counted and Venom meant well. He inched away from you and asked, “Then why would you send me the postcard?”

“What postcard?”

He got up from his seat and reached into his pockets. He slowly walked towards her before handing it to her.

“I didn’t send you this.” After she spoke those words, everything went to shit.

Masterlist

[dubairealestate24]

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Applying for a Home Loan in UAE

Applying for a home loan in the UAE can be a complex process, and avoiding common mistakes can help you secure the best terms and conditions. This guide highlights common pitfalls to avoid when applying for a home loan in the UAE.

Understanding Home Loans

Home loans, or mortgages, come in various forms, including fixed-rate, variable-rate, and Islamic mortgages. Each type has its benefits and considerations.

Fixed-Rate Mortgages: These loans have a fixed interest rate for a specified period, providing stability in monthly payments.

Variable-Rate Mortgages: The interest rate fluctuates based on market conditions, which can lead to lower initial rates but potential increases over time.

Islamic Mortgages: Compliant with Sharia law, these mortgages involve profit-sharing rather than interest payments.

For detailed information on home loans, visit home loan dubai.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Not Shopping Around: Failing to compare different lenders and loan products can result in higher costs and less favorable terms.

Overlooking Fees: Be aware of all fees and charges associated with the loan to avoid unexpected expenses.

Ignoring Pre-Approval: Getting pre-approved helps streamline the home search and strengthens your bargaining position.

Taking on New Debt: Avoid taking on new debt during the loan process, as it can affect your financial profile and loan approval.

Not Understanding Loan Terms: Ensure you understand all terms and conditions of the loan, including interest rates, repayment terms, and early repayment penalties.

For property purchases, explore Buy Luxury Property in UAE.

Steps to Securing a Home Loan

Assess Your Financial Situation: Begin by evaluating your financial health. Calculate your income, expenses, and savings to determine how much you can afford.

Improve Your Credit Score: A high credit score improves your chances of loan approval and favorable terms.

Save for a Down Payment: Aim for at least 20% of the property's value to reduce mortgage insurance costs and improve loan terms.

Compare Loan Options: Different lenders offer various products. Compare rates, terms, and conditions.

Get Pre-Approved: Pre-approval provides an estimate of how much you can borrow, making the home search more focused and efficient.

Submit Your Application: Complete the mortgage application, providing necessary documents such as proof of income, credit history, and property details.

Loan Approval and Offer: Once approved, the lender will present an offer detailing the loan amount, interest rate, and repayment terms.

Finalizing the Purchase: After accepting the offer, work with your lender to finalize the purchase. Ensure all legal and financial aspects are in order.

For rental options, visit Apartments For Rent in Dubai.

Tips for a Smooth Home Loan Process

Maintain a Good Credit Score: A high credit score improves your chances of loan approval and favorable terms.

Avoid New Debt: Refrain from taking on new debt during the loan process to maintain your financial profile.

Consult with a Mortgage Advisor: Professional advice can help you navigate the complexities of securing a home loan.

Understand Fees and Charges: Be aware of all fees and charges associated with the loan, including processing fees, valuation fees, and early repayment penalties.

For luxury properties, explore Luxury Properties For Sale in Dubai.

Legal and Regulatory Considerations

The UAE has specific regulations governing mortgages. Ensure compliance with all legal requirements, including property registration and transfer fees.

Dubai Land Department (DLD): The DLD oversees property transactions. Ensure all documents are registered with the DLD.

No Objection Certificate (NOC): If buying from a developer, obtain an NOC confirming no outstanding payments or disputes.

Conclusion

Avoiding common mistakes when applying for a home loan in the UAE can help you secure the best terms and conditions. By following the tips outlined in this guide, you can navigate the process efficiently and achieve your homeownership goals. For more resources and expert advice, visit home loan dubai.

[laufire]

The Bezoses of the world have no need to be paid a salary. Bezos’ Amazon wages have long been set at the middle-class level of around $80,000 a year. For years, there’s been something of a competition among elite founder-CEOs to go even lower. Steve Jobs took $1 in salary when he returned to Apple in the 1990s. Facebook’s Zuckerberg, Oracle’s Larry Ellison and Google’s Larry Page have all done the same. Yet this is not the self-effacing gesture it appears to be: Wages are taxed at a high rate. The top 25 wealthiest Americans reported $158 million in wages in 2018, according to the IRS data. That’s a mere 1.1% of what they listed on their tax forms as their total reported income. The rest mostly came from dividends and the sale of stock, bonds or other investments, which are taxed at lower rates than wages. [...] So how do megabillionaires pay their megabills while opting for $1 salaries and hanging onto their stock? According to public documents and experts, the answer for some is borrowing money — lots of it. For regular people, borrowing money is often something done out of necessity, say for a car or a home. But for the ultrawealthy, it can be a way to access billions without producing income, and thus, income tax. The tax math provides a clear incentive for this. If you own a company and take a huge salary, you’ll pay 37% in income tax on the bulk of it. Sell stock and you’ll pay 20% in capital gains tax — and lose some control over your company. But take out a loan, and these days you’ll pay a single-digit interest rate and no tax; since loans must be paid back, the IRS doesn’t consider them income. Banks typically require collateral, but the wealthy have plenty of that.

[animeraider]

Project 2025 will kill you. Yes, you. Sections 11-15 (of 30)

So I've been reading Project 2025 so you don't have to, and I'm going to report on everything I find that is alarming, which is a lot. Part One can be found here. Part Two can be found here.

Section 11 - Department of Education

"Federal education policy should be limited and, ultimately, the federal Department of Education should be eliminated."

That's the first sentence in this whole section. I think that pretty much says it all.

All student loans and grants are to be moved to the private sector. Move education for military families to the Defense Department and for Washington D.C. to Congress. I imagine that also applies to protectorates like Guam and Puerto Rico but the document actually doesn't say.

Put all education funding under State Control. You should really ask a child living in Florida how that's working out. Reject Gender Identity and Racial studies. Eliminate executive orders in education. I remind you that integration was done by executive order.

Transfer all Native American education to the Bureau for Indian Affairs. Transfer all adult education programs to the Department of Labor. Privatize Student Aid.

Move all civil rights enforcement to the Department of Justice. Transfer all civil service employees to other agencies. Eliminate the understanding that Trans people even exist.

Eliminate any privacy regulations used to protect students from any form of abuse. Rescind all regulations in Equity in IDEA.

Eliminate all food programs for students. All of them.

Phase out income-based student loan repayment programs. Rescind all funding for the National Education Association. Consider "Critical Race Theory" to be racism. 

Here's a crazy one that takes paragraphs to unravel: Allow parents of children over the age of 18 to sue to recover any monies spent on their education. Also, allow families to "opt out" of the education system entirely and for those that do give as a tax break the funding that would have been used to educate that child directly to the parents.

Allow states to opt out of any and all federal education programs. Eliminate Parent PLUS loans. 

There is page after page of basically "end anything Obama or Biden did", but eventually it all boils down to that first sentence. Eliminate the Department of Education.

Section 12 - Department of Energy (and related commissions)

You would expect this whole document to be drill baby drill but in fact it starts with the repeal and elimination of the Biden Administration's Infrastructure Act - the single largest jobs creation bill in the last 75 years. That's followed with not only a dependence upon oil and natural gas but a declaration that the U.S. needs to be the best in the world in Science. Great for a country trying to eliminate the Department of Education.

Eliminate the office of Clean Energy, and the office of Grid Deployment. Yep, they don't want the government looking at the power grid. 

Not only increase a reliance ("dominance") in oil and gas but nuclear power as well. 

Lots of paragraphs on focusing on science, which again - see the section on the Department of Education. Lots of contradictions here. Increase the level of private sector disposal of nuclear waste. What could possibly go wrong?

Fund a rebuilding of the country's nuclear arsenal. New warheads and testing. Eliminate Carbon Capture programs and Carbon offsets. Pursue much more coal, including coal waste as fuel. Increase fossil fuels. 

End the government's focus on green energy and renewables. Eliminate efficiency standards for appliances. In fact, they put this paragraph in the document twice on consecutive pages. 

"End Grid planning and focus instead on reliability." I shit you not, that's a whole topic in here. Say goodbye to grid upgrades and hello to more Texas-style outages. They then spend several pages repeating everything I've already told you about. 

Eliminate the Department of Energy's ability to make loans. Eliminate the Advanced Research Projects Agency. Looks like that better battery for your Tesla is going to have to wait.

Eliminate the Clean Energy Corps. Privatize the Energy Information Administration. Stop all funding for "climate reparations" - i.e. paying for the damage caused by oil production in underdeveloped nations.

Drill in Alaska (of course). Claim the Arctic Circle for the same purpose. Take an "America First" approach at the Office of Technology. 

Accelerate cleanup of all "Superfund" sites (except for Hanford in Washington State - which is where the U.S. government has stored Plutonium Waste for many years) with a goal of completing all work by 2035. That sounds good on the surface but in most of these sites there is a reason that it needs to go slow: fast work actually makes the contamination WORSE and spreads it further. Eliminate some regulations specific to the Hanford site.

Get all active Nuclear Waste stored at Yucca Mountain already.

As long as we're talking about nuclear stuff again, let's make more nukes. Abandon the Test Ban Treaty. Divest certain programs at Los Alamos and Lawrence Livermore to refocus on nuclear energy and weaponry. Several pages are spent rehashing the need to get rid of renewables

Refocus transmission of electrical to the state level. I mean, why can't we all be Texas? Eliminate all questions about oil and gas pipelines to only consider the need for the fuels, not environmental or any other concerns. 

Eliminate the guidance of "as low as reasonably possible" for nuclear exposure when considering renewing the licensing for existing nuclear power plants or building new ones. 

Fuck, this was a nightmare to get through. but guess what's next?

Section 13 - Environmental Protection Agency

This whole section was written by Mandy M. Gunasekara, a former Chief of Staff at the EPA under the Trump Administration who in 2023 was kicked off the ballot in Mississippi when she ran for Public Service Commissioner - because she didn't live there.

Let's start that in the mission statement that it blames the lead poisoning crisis in Flint Michigan on The Obama Administration, which is so obviously incorrect that it boggle belief. It also states that every expansion of the EPA since 1972 is unnecessary.

Eliminate the Office of Environmental Justice and External Civil Rights. Eliminate the Office of Enforcement and Compliance Assistance. Eliminate the Office of Public Engagement and Environmental Education. "Relocate" the Office of Children’s Health Protection and the Office of Small and Disadvantaged Business Utilization - although the document does say where to relocate these agencies to.

Review the grants program to ensure that taxpayer funds go to organizations focused on tangible environmental improvements free from political affiliation (there are no such groups). 

This document goes on for more than 30 pages and makes the same faulty assumptions and rewrites historical data so often that it should be considered a work of fiction. But the key thing is unchanged: That everything that the EPA has done in terms of rulings and regulations since 1972 should be repealed.

Where I grew up you could see the air in 1972. It was grey. That's what they want to go back to.

Section 14 - Department of Heath and Human Services

This whole section was written by The Heritage Foundation. In the first two sentences it proclaims the COVID-19 Pandemic as over (which it isn't) and that life expectancy has decreased since the end of the Pandemic - which we do not yet know as the timing is too recent for statistical analysis. It's a lie.

No more abortions. Ever.

Prioritize families over everyone else. By the way, that's "traditional" families. Mother, father, children, church.

Remove the ability to declare emergencies and provide guidelines for outbreaks of diseases that contradict the political agenda of the administration. Move the recommendations of the CDC on how to treat anything into a separate political agency.  The entire document assumes that the CDC is faulty and corrupt, and not that the people using the CDC to make policy are. This is also a lie.

Remove Generic drugs from Medicaid. Make Abortion pills a controlled substance, with the ultimate goal of making them illegal at the same degree as Meth and Cocaine.

Eliminate chickenpox, Hepatitis, and MMR vaccines that originate from studies and science from fetal tissue. That's all of them, by the way. Also, eliminate vaccine mandates of any kind - you know, the type that for a while eliminated chicken pox, small pox, the mumps, measles and so on and could have been used to eliminate COVID. I notice that all of these are on the rise in the US. Even motherfucking POLIO is back.

Eliminate all research that uses science from Fetal Tissue. Eliminate all science funding and research that involves the fluidity of human sexuality. There are men and there are women and they are born that way. Period.

Several paragraphs are about "Woke" policies, and they encourage an end to diversity in conferences and studies.

When it gets to the Medicare section there is paragraph after paragraph about the bureaucracy of Medicare and how much time doctors have to spend on paperwork. This is a common fallacy that has been around for decades - yes, there is paperwork and there is a lot of it, but it's still LESS PAPERWORK THAN REQUIRED BY PRIVATE INSURERS. 

The truth is that bureaucratic waste in Medicaid is about 2%, where in the private industry it varies from 5% to 10%.

Eliminate the ability to negotiate drug prices under Medicare. 

As for Medicaid, paragraph after paragraph is dedicated to the elimination of problems that don't actually exist, plus adding work requirements to eligibility and actually taking away from states the ability to make programs flexible - which seems like an oxymoron until you realize that most waivers for various programs under Medicaid are for Democratic Party controlled states that are allowed to use these funds to treat the LGBTAI+ community and allow for abortion access.

Under the Affordable Care Act there is an awful lot of focus on redesigning medical care into a Concierge Medicine approach, which most people would not be able to afford. The document calls this stronger health care (true) and more affordable (patently false). It would also eliminate all of the cost controls in the system. There is no language saying that they want to eliminate the ACA, but they certainly would render it useless.

Prohibit travel for Abortion care.

Defund Planned Parenthood, which as I like to tell people is NOT a chain of abortion clinics but is a chain of Doctor's Offices with an emphasis on women's care. Withdraw Medicaid funds from any state where abortion is legal.

Deny gender affirming care for anyone with Medicaid or Medicare. Again, men and women are the only two genders and they are determined at birth.

Rescind all COVID-19 Mask and Vaccination guidelines, and pay damages to anyone displaced (i.e. fired) for not following those guidelines.

Institute work requirements for all recipients of Temporary Assistance for Needy Families. Most of the verbiage about the prevention of teenage pregnancies is to deter things that aren't happening. Adoptions should be funneled through religious organizations. Crazily enough, the document in the same paragraph also acknowledges that there are 4 times more children awaiting adoption than people who want them, although I believe the actual ratio is closer to 7 to 1.

Move the office of Refugee Settlement to the Department of Homeland Security. Looking back at that document, there is no indication that DHS actually wants this.

Allows for parents who do not have custody of their children to receive a child-tax credit anyway. It actually specifically calls out that it wants the ability to allow deadbeat dads to take the tax credit.

Encourage bad marriages to stay together as a requirement of government assistance. Allow faith-based organizations who distribute this aid to discriminate as they see fit. Implement a national campaign that is pro-father propaganda. You know, to keep marriages together. Think of the poor men.

Eliminate Head Start.

Criminalized Physician assisted suicide, which is legal in 10 states according to this document. Remove requirements that telemedicine be local to the patient. I should point out that this would eliminate the ability to recommend hospitalizations, as these doctors wouldn't have admitting privileges where the patients actually are.

Allow hospitals, doctors and physicians to not provide abortion related care of any kind because of religious beliefs, even in states where it is legal and protected.

No more funding for condoms. No more funding for "Morning-after" pills (which they call "the week after pills" in this section). Withdraw all support for gender affirming/transitioning guidance. 

Stop teaching the medical procedures used in abortion care. I repeat, hinder the educational skills of every doctor in America.

The entire section on Indian Health Care (and why can't they ever use the phrase "Native Americans"?) is full of lies and I won't dignify them. 

Sunset all HHS regulations, which Trump tried last time around.

More bullshit about violations of human rights that never happened (mostly involving twitter and Facebook). They don't want the department to push back against lies on social media.

More verbiage that the administration needs to be Pro-Life and anti-Trans care. This is like the fifth or sixth time in this document so far, making it one of the longer ones I've gone through. This is followed by a series of paragraphs that are mostly lies about the COVID Pandemic, complaining about things that never happened.

It's full of lies.

Restrict and/or rescind funding to any country that supports abortion care. Prohibit overseas personnel from providing care that is in contradiction with administration policy. That's right, overseas care is now a political decision.

The entire rest of the document - several pages - is about how the only civil rights violation in health care is that providers of care of certain religions are not allowed to discriminate in their health care decisions, and that such discrimination should be allowed.

To summarize: No abortions, no gender affirming care, no contraceptives, stay in abusive marriages, no good health care for poor people, let churches discriminate, and lie every third sentence (or more often).

Section 15 - Department Housing and Urban Development

Woohoo! This section was written by Dr. Ben Carson! This of course means it's the shortest section in the whole damn thing, clocking in at all of 14 pages, 4 of which are footnotes.

Also, unlike previous chapters, the first 4 pages are only about what the department does who what the department posts and responsibilities are, and has no policy directives save for the basic concept that the department needs an overhaul.

Replace all career officers with political appointees. Issue an executive order making the HUD Secretary a member of the Committee on Foreign Investment in the U.S, to counter the Chinese threat that they are buying to much real estate in the U.S. Seems highly reminiscent of the same language used against Japan in the 1980's.

Reverse all protections for LGBTQIA+ persons implemented under the Biden Administration. Reverse all property appraisals done under the Biden Administration, because you know they did them all wrong. Eliminate any programs that have any mention of Climate Change. Eliminate the use of special-purpose credit authorities. Eliminate the new Housing Supply Fund.

Non-citizens, even those households who are comprised of both citizens and non-citizens, are to be denied housing assistance. Anyone with mental issues or drug assistance issues need to be treated before considered for housing. 

"Statutorily restricting eligibility for first-time homebuyers." That's the EXACT wording.

Finally, create an office of CFO for the department, who will do most of the work. Not bad for the laziest cabinet secretary in all history.

14 pages, only 6 of which are policy, all of which is designed to not actually do anything.

Next posting will cover the Department of the Interior, the Department of Justice, Department of Labor, Department of Transportation, and the  Department of Veteran Affairs.