#no im not recovering from shit just like not doing as much bad stuff

[skelespidey]

my pinterest when im supposed to be doing better

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[charliethemanticore]

.

[plaidos]

Im a trans man who was on the outside circle of a friend group led by another trans man, there was one trans woman in the friend group, and she was dating the guy who kinda led the friend group. I didnt talk to her much, because i didnt talk to anyone there much due to bad experiences with the people in that group (tried to bring up stuff like experiencing dysphoria before I was out and got screamed at by the lead guy for “appropriating trans culture” and how i couldn’t use terms like gender envy to describe how i wanted to look exactly like a cis man youtuber i watched. He also shamed me for my interests which he deemed morally iredeemable (homestuck) before getting back into it himself, and then it was fine) but yeah i didnt talk to her much, and then suddenly i was dragged back into the friend group to do an intervention for the lead guy for a lot of insane things, and the tgirl was the one who asked me to help. When i was known as the only girl in the group, i was the group therapist and mom basically, i didnt want to be, and when i pulled away/came out as a trans man it seemed they replaced me with the tgirl as the group mom. And we started talking. And oh my god. Anything they did to me wa %1000 worse with her. She had to convince a grown as man that being homeless was not in fact a good fall back plan to not being able to find a roommate and no it wasnt easy. But nothing compares to the way she was treated by the main guy she was dating. The things she told me were so awful, she was basically his bangmaid abuse prisoner, he convinced her to move in with him, and then she had to do everything for him because he was “too depressed” he would sit at his computer all day cheating on her with other trans men while she cleaned his whole fucking house, and cooked, and got physically ill from all of the mold that he had let grow on things like dishes. He only really interacted with her when he needed comfort or sex. And he literally forbade her from doing anything sexual herself including masturbating without his permission because “it made him feel like she was like the pedo that groomed him when he was young” any kinks she had she was told were perverted and degenerate, she age regresses which he compared to pedophilia, it was so awful on literally every level, and he had convinced her she was so worthless and unloveable that when i told her she should leave him she said it was fine and they were working on it. It never got better and when they did break up he spread rumors that she had been raping him. She then dated another trans man who did the exact same thing down to the rape acussations when they broke up. And i was one of the only people who tried to convince her to break up with either of them initially, i was the only person who was the first to speak up. Apparently the other men in the group agreed with me they just didnt say anything till after i did then suddenly they were all agreeing. Shes doing better now and her self esteem is slowly recovering, she still talks to that friend group excluding her exes, i dont talk to any of them except her anymore. Anytime i see a trans man say they cant be misogynistic or transmisogynistic i kind of hate them for it. I was literally screamed at for trying to come out because then the group wouldnt have their “token cis girl” yes that was my title in the group, to dump their issues on. And as soon as i pulled away they replaced me with a woman they treated even worse just because she was trans and easy to beat down. Literally the only two women in the group and we were forced into the mom friend role. Its awful and i hate that people cannot acknowledge it happens. Trans men are not magically exempt from misogyny, and the ones who claim they are are lying to themselves and others so they can benefit from it. That first guy? The one who was so awful to both of us? Hes on tumblr and hes a pretty popular fanartist, he reblogs save trans women shit all the time, i hate him so much and i hate people who are compicit to the abuse trans women face, sorry for writing so much

don’t apologise, thanks for having the courage to share your experiences. it makes my heart sink how familiar this story is, the amount of people who have shared fundamentally identical experiences to this — the belief that trans men do not and cannot utilise male privilege above trans women (even in trans spaces) is without a doubt the reason so many are able to get away with this. i’ve heard this same story dozens of times; trans girl who is being physically & sexually abused by her (trans) boyfriend, regularly being raped, yelled at, often hit & abused in countless other ways who then turns around and says “actually she raped me” when she finally has the courage to break it off. And people believe them, because they believe that trans women are all rapists one bad day away from hurting everybody, but trans men are biological victims who can never do any wrong.

im sorry this happened to you. i hope your friend is in a much better situation now. ❤️

[chososlittlecrybaby]

IGURO OBANAI X TSUGUKO READER !¡

Warning contents: Rough sex , biting , choking , spitting , pussy eating , degrading , manhandling , pussy slapping , hair pulling , back shots .

Word count: 2.6k

Summary- Being Iguro’s tsuguko was very draining to say the least. The training was rough and exhausting but you can’t really complain because you chose this course for your life. You’ve been sick of his treatment so you decide to skip training for a bit and go hang out with Tengen.

“Obanai that shit hurts!” You yelled, holding your arm. “You can’t expect to be a hashira and you’re complaining about me hitting you in the arm?” Obanai said, staring daggers at you. “Okay but still! Go easy.” You whined. “Do you think demons are going to go easy on you?” Obanai walked up closer to you.

“Whatever.” You simply said, before getting back into position.

Every day you still think about why you wanted to be Obanai’s tsuguko. His training is so brutal his last ‘tsugukos’ quit. He was a great teacher but he doesn’t know how to hold back. Its been 4 months since I took the position on. Those last 4 months have been hell.

You take a deep breath trying to focus on your total concentration breathing. Then out of no where your face met the ground. “WHAT THE FUCK” You yelled getting up rubbing your forehead. “You need to be quick and persistent.” He said, blankly.

It was only going to take one more drop of sweat for you to snap. You got up off the ground and immediately fell back down on one knee. You suddenly felt liquid run down your face and touched it. You pulled your hand back and seen blood on your finger tips. You looked up at obanai and down at your hand.

“shit” is all you could mutter before you fell limp and passed out.

You woke up in the butterfly mansion with Tanjiro beside your bed. “What happened?” You asked sitting up, letting the covers fall off your shoulders. “You passed out and Mr. Obanai brought you here, but didn’t stay because it’s not that serious” You felt a pang in your heart and you felt tears beginning to spill.

You clutched the sheets and tried to hold back the tears. Plastering a smile on your face. “Oh okay!” You began, lips trembling. “Well im fine now so! You can hurry on ahead. Just let Lady Koucho know im up please!” You said while turning towards other side of the bed getting ready to get up. Your feet dangling off the bed. Your back is towards Tanjiro. “Also let Master Obanai know I wont be back for a few days.”

“Okay sure! Have a well rested recovery Y/n!!” Tanjiro said.

Lady Koucho came in the room and inspected you to make sure that you were okay. As soon as she said you were ready to go, she made some recovering tea.

You finished the tea and got dressed in your regular corps uniform which was very similar to kanao’s.

“Bye lady kochou. Ill come back again if anything seems wrong. You waved at her and left the butterfly estate. You knew at around these times Obanai and Muichiro were patrolling the area so you decided to grab a couple of stuff from Obanais mansion like clothes, and made your way to tengens mansion.

“I can’t believe I was so hurt by what he said. I’m hoping to God that Tanjiro was just lying. but then again he’s so bad at lying, and hates it.” You complained to Tengens muscle mice. you sighed trying to figure out why on earth were you talking to animals. “You know this is kinda creepy right?” Makio said. “I know, I just need to rant. Thanks for letting me stay here.” You said, bowing your head.

“Its fine! We understand what you’re going through and you can stay as long as you want!” Hinatsuru said, popping up our of no where, placing a hand on Makio’s shoulder.

Tears started to form and you immediately started blinking and wiping them from your face. “I appreciate it so much.”

The last 4 days Tengen has trained your total concentration breathing and ways to move more efficient and faster. You were getting ready to go to bed when you felt something slithering up your leg. “GAH WHAT IS THAT” You shrieked, Suma and Makio coming in the room to see whats wrong.

“IS THAT A SNAKE” Suma yelled, hiding behind Makio. When you took a closer look at the snake you could tell that it belonged to the Serpent pillar. “Kaburamaru? Why are you here..” A frown appeared on your face. He slithered his tongue and looked in the direction of the corner in the room.

There he was. Obanai was there. A menacing glare staring at you. Your heart rate started to increase and it felt hot. “Lets go.” He said with utter venom in his voice.

“I-I uh..” You stammered. “It wasn’t a question. Lets go.” He said grabbing you by your arm. “I have to go guys tell tengen and hinatsuru ill be back tomorrow to get my stuff!” you yelled, waving by at them. Watching kaburamaru slither back onto obanai’s neck.

We were finally away from the mansion and on your way to his. ��master o-obanai that hurts.” “Do you think I care?” He said still focused ahead of him. “You seem to want to take the initiative on leaving?” Obanai said, tightening his grip. “You missed four days of training. That sets us back.” He said, gritting through his teeth. He was so angry.

“Tengen trained me on total concentration and speeding up my movements.” You said, wincing. “So? Do you really think thats what makes me mad? Don’t be dense.”

“Well I wouldn’t have left if you didn’t treat me like shit.” You said making him stop. “what?” He said, sounding genuinely confused. “Maybe if you stop pointing out my flaws and motivated me, sugar coating what im doing wrong then maybe JUST MAYBE. I wouldn’t have left. You couldn’t even stay with me at the butterfly estate, HELL you couldn’t even visit me. Do you know how painful it is when somebody tells you that your own trainer doesn’t give a fuck about you?” You yelled, running out of breath. “Let go of me!” You attempted to snatch your arm away, failing.

Tears started falling. Your heart was shattered. “You know.. I get where you are coming from. Have once have you ever tried to get to know me?” he said, anger filling in. “PLENTY OBANAI. I have tried to converse with you many times, asked you questions like what your favorite color or food was. You shut me down every time! I hate you” You fell on your knees. The arm obanai was holding still in the air because of his grasp on it. He got down on his knees to level with you. He gripped your face with his hand.

“Im not one to share my feelings with. I have issues with that. Expressing them is a fear that I have. so if I made you feel some type of way, im sorry.” Obanai said. His gaze softening. “Now come on so we can go home.”

The walk home was less awkward but the sexual tension was definitely there. You didn’t think that things would go far with you and obanai.

“Fuck! Iguro please!” You yelled, gripping his hair. His tongue lapping at your clit. He stuck two fingers into you and starting moving in a scissoring motion. “Iguro please its too much!” You yelled. He was dragging a third orgasm out of you. 30 minutes of him just eating your pussy and your legs are a shaking mess. tears rolling down your brown skin. “You need to stop moving. Its making it hard for me to go deeper.” He lowly said. Just then, the sound of his voice made you cum right then and there.

He pulled his fingers out of your cunt and licked his cum coated fingers. Your chest lifted up and down as you tried to catch your breath. “turn over.” He said, flipping you over onto your stomach and pulling your hips up.

He slapped his dick on your ass before sliding it in. Snaking his arms around your waist to slap your pussy. You cry out in pain and pleasure. “Fuck, im surprised you didnt let Tengen fuck you.” He said, sliding in and out of your cunt.

“Well, you probably went there to be a slut, but it didn’t quite work out for you huh?” He said, rubbing harsh circles on your pussy. “T-Thats not true!” You gasped.

“Shut up.” He said, pulling your hair, your back meeting with his chest. “Next time im going to fuck you with your corps uniform on. Its going to make you look more like a whore than you already are.” He said , wrapping his arm around your waist.

It came to the point that the pleasure was too much. You attempted to scoot away since he had his arm wrapped around you. “Stop running and take it.” He said harshly, slapping in between your inner thighs. A red spot forming on your tanned skin.

“O-obanai, go slower!” You reached behind you scratching at his neck. Obanai slowly raised his head down to your shoulder biting your shoulder. Breaking skin. “you taste amazing.” He said, licking at the blood.

“You’re trembling.” He said, blankly. “It feels so good.” You mumbled out. Something in him snapped. He felt a wave of possession wash over him.“Say it again. Say it.” He said. Snapping his hips into you, reaching your cervix causing you to spasm. “Iguro, it feels so good!” You yelled out. “Yeah im making you feel good. I better not catch somebody else fucking this pussy. Im going to make sure that this pretty pussy remembers my dick and its shape.” Obanai said hitting deeper parts. A white ring started to form around obanais dick.

“Awee look at that. This pussy is holding onto me for dear life.” He said, slapping your clit a couple times and then rubbing it. A whole bunch of pleases came out of your mouth before you felt something unfamiliar forming.

Obanai kept rubbing your pussy until you finally let go. Your pussy started spasming around his dick. Obanai let out a chuckle that turned into a hysterical laugh. “I got you to squirt.” He said, looking at his hand with your juices on them. His long tongue licked a stripe up his hand. “oh thats perfect.” He said, eyes rolling back at your taste.

“please tell me you’re done..” You said , drained. “We could be, but I still want to cum.” He said, putting a fake pout on his face. He began Thrusting into you again. You jerking with every thrust. He let out breathy moans and some occasional “fucks”

“ah.. fuck” He said, cumming deep inside you. Letting out a low groan.

“Fuck.. you.” You said out of breath. He pulled out and flipped you on your back. Grabbing your throat and prying your mouth open. “Take what I give you.” He said before spitting in your mouth. You’re eyes went wide. “Swallow it.” You obeyed like the perfect tsuguko you were. “Mhm thats right.” He said, looking at you with his different colored eyes. “You’re so beautiful mama.” He said before collapsing onto you. Leaving you a heated mess.

OHH MY GODDDD!! I FOUND THIS SO FREAKING ENTERTAINING WHILE WRITING BC SJESHVDHSJSN OWMEHEMsfndlslaoaJSHWJ OBANAI SUPREMACY

[13leaguestories]

Hi! I have finally decided to start the journey of creating an interactive fiction story. I absolutely love your works and have always found I have an inkling for writing, If you have any basic tips or general things that helped you I would really appreciate it because looking online is so confusing. Im a 19 year old full time college student and athlete so it will be a slow process but any insight would be extremely helpful. Thankyou! :)

Oh shit, I was in the same boat. Used to be a college athlete as well so I know exactly how much time you're about to have on your hands to do other things lmfao.

General advice and biggest: do not over exert yourself. I know this is something everyone says and it feels so ... simple. But I am being 100% honest. Even when you think you're on a roll and can write like 50k in one sitting, don't. I say that because burn out WILL catch up and burn out doesn't just leave after a week of a break, that bitch takes forever to truly recover from. I don't know how else to say it but please take care of yourself. Your brain, hands, all that.

Keep it light and fun. Remember to keep it light and fun. I wrote Dragon Racer while in college and a lot of shit fucked with my mind leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Another piece of advice that I know folks always talk about but always like to argue: write for yourself. I kinda lost that along the way but it really is true. At the end of this, you're the one whose going to fall out of love with something you wanted to do. That doesn't sit well. This is for you, first and foremost. Ask yourself if only a handful of people ever read your work and if that makes you never want to write again. If the answer is yes then some self reflection needs to be had. Just being honest. Where's that meme of "try to change my mind."

Of course you want folks to read your stuff but if you're not in love with what you're doing then it will feel like a job and that's when it falls apart.

Resources wise ....

Just learn coding. Never stop learning. Never cut yourself off from learning coding.

Tons of writing resources. Have an entire folder on them. Also figure out what your weaknesses are (yes, we all have them, I for one suck at action) and get advice and guides on them. Like, there are tons of them everywhere. Like this is literally just my subfolders: Do not ask how many files and folders are in those. Literally just type in something to a search engine like "shades of colors" or "ways to describe sadness" shit like that and you'll get tons of results. Have numerous articles about the same thing.

Read. Read. Read. Read.

Read some more. And I mean things you wouldn't normally read too.

Either get a writing circle or join writing groups so people can give you their thoughts. You need that, period. Ask other writers. Most of us don't bite. Some of us do.

https://www.motoslave.net/ for Twine things. That's my bible for SugarCube

Oof that's enough, hopefully. I really do wish you all the luck in your writing. And I'm honored you even thought to ask me for my sliver of advice and thoughts on it. I love seeing more writers appear, we just want to share our vision and the world can never have enough of that especially nowadays will bullshit AI.

[sinekq]

i wanted to draw something more ambitous with justin but my brain like alwyas refuse to work so im gonna give u this small crusty image and ill write something about him in my sso version so u can then think that im not ok

so in my star stejbl shit kinda weird and errisa dont exist cuz i stopped paying attention to the game so sry

instead of her theres just a cosmic horror being that got unlucky and got its ass beaten very hard long time ago and now its "sick" and is unable to do stuff like other two generals (thers overall 3 cosmic horrors and a witch cuz idk what to do with katja so ill probalby stick with the witch) and it needs to parasite on a person with aideens light to recover so justin moorland being like a mix 50% good 50% bad got on generals wanted list to being used as a medical kit for the chaotical creature from the space

at first sands didnt gave much care about his grandson but then after having some like weird family time bonding thing at oil ring he started regretting bringing his grandson to this place and about the idea of giving him to the generals so he helped justin escape with sould riders from the ring

before the escape justin almost got served to the alien but somehow managed to stop the creature from hopping on him whole so he escaped with like a part of the general that sat its alienic ass on his hand and now tells awful things to him (druids prob gonna throw justin to jail when they found out about it lol)

idk what to write more so have this chaoitc almost 3 am post

[devourers-of-god]

Hi I was wondering if you could do Sal fisher who’s gf has pet rats? Like 2-3 and like one day reader and Sal for over to readers house to hang out for the visit time there and Sal sees this big ass cage and he’s like “what in here?” And readers like “oh those are my baby’s! :D” and Sal’s just shocked (bonus points if he gets to hold them 😚)

Hi !! Its been a while i am sorry! Lots happened in my personal life but I think ill be able to write sometimes anyways, of course I'll do that :3!

Type: Oneshot

Warnings: none its mostly fluff :P

One shot Sal x reader (very bad sorry)

Sal and you have been going out for a while now, 3 months to be exact even tho it already feels like its been longer than that. He's been mostly inviting you over to his apartment so Sal has never really seen how your place looked like. But one day you decided it was time to show him the real you. You had a lot of things in your room, it basically represented what you like, your personality and how messy you truly are. The reality was that you had rats, adorable clumsy rats. There's a big cage well maintained with your fluffy babies, toys and food. You were kinda shy about showing Sal because even tho you knew he liked stuff like that, you were still scared of his reaction, but what stressed you the most was that in all of your past relationships they were all disgusted and thought that you were so weird. But aside from all of your anxiety, you invited him over for the evening.

The time had come, you tidied up your room just so it doesn't look like hell. Sal arrived on time, his dad decided to lift him so he didn't have to walk. You opened the door for him, '' Hey Sal!'' you smiled wildly at your boyfriend. ''Hi y/n, happy to see you'' you could see his eyes filled with excitement as he walked in. You immediately guided him to your room, in the mean time you did a small tour of the place. Your parents were away for the evening so it was a perfect day. Arrived to your room Sal's eyes widen at the first look of your room. ''Wow this is so cool!'' he walked slowly, taking care of not destroying anything, then he walked past this gigantic cage in the corner ''oh my god what's in there!'' He was In fact very excited of finding out what's hiding. ''Oh those are my babies! my rats! here let me show you:)'' You opened the small door to allow your arm in the cage, you took one of your furry friends and handed him to your boyfriend. ''Im so happy that you have rats, they're my favourite!!'' he smiled widely while petting your rat, ''Whats his name?'' he asked, '' Marco'' you replied, with a small smile and a tinted blush on your cheeks. Sal looked at you admiring your personality and beauty. In reality, Sal admired you and he never thought a cute and gentle girl like you had so many rats.

He was very happy you invited him over, after that you two had a great time playing video games and talking for hours, obviously you guys had to have a sleepover. Sal was so interested on everything you showed him, he really realized how much he loves you and you thought he was the sweetest guy ever.

Lets just say Sal now comes over a lot.

OKKKKK EW sorry this is SO bad, I havent been writing in a hottttt minute, ermmmm I got into a car crash and shit (im ok ! just a broken bone) and I've been recovering blah blah blah, school blah blah blah and work yk how life goes. anyways, now that im not doing anything for a good 6 weeks, I thought it'll be a good time to try and start writing again. so please excuse me if the first few are bad ! You can't judge and even if you do, just write it yourself :) ANYWAYS THNAK YOU FOR YOUR ASK ILY

REQUESTS: ALWAYS OPEN

[cowboy-robooty]

you think itager would be good parents?

NO

TEN MILLION JILLION TRILLION TIMES FUCKING NO!!!!!!! OH MY GOD THEYD BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST PARENTS EVER. because see i think like for a week maybe it could work out but pretty fast things would go south bc theyd compliment eachother in the worst ways possible. I think i talked abt all this stuff in my balad of arjun teena (my itager fanchild scenario) but ill say it all again YATTA! Germany would be an absolutely terrible father because hed prioritize his kid and love them more than anything else but hed be so bad at doing things right. bro huys the parenting manuels and fails them so hard bc he sounds like a robot to his kid all the time and sucks at being able to emotionally connect even though hes trying his best. and hes also the one always taking care of the kid bc hes a go getter and italys lazy but this just makes their kid dislike germany more bc they always gotta put up with his ass (and also bc the universe hates germany I think that no matter what the kid will always accidentally take germany's words the wrong way and germany will just get up and leave bc at some point he realizes there is no possible way he can recover from these misunderstandings and saying anything more will just make it worss).

Italy would be a terrible dad in the completely opposite because hed be a super chill and nice parent but like on the inside lowkey not like his kid that much RODF. Like hed think theyre fine but would think oh my GOD can this bitch leave already im tryna go on an impromptu roadtrip across america with germany today. in a world where itager loses homeostasis (another essay I wrote in the past) he's the type of guy who would try to baby trap germany and go wait... WE HAVE TO KEEP THE BABY?!? OH HELLLL NAW!!!!! And ironically i think bc italy is so chill their kid would very obviously favor italy (even though internally germany cares about their kid WAYYY more fhan Italy does) and it would be really funny bc germany would always feel lowkey sad that their kid doesnt want to spend time with germany and then italy would be internally like omfg when can i put this bitch up for adoption. SO IT WOULD JUST BE A TOTAL SHIT SHOW LOL I DONT THINK THEY COULD EVER HAVE A KID NOR DO THEY WANT ONE

[genderqueerdykes]

Different person but i just wanna add (if another confirmation would help), no yea it's absolutely fucking horrific how they've been treating you I was (and still am, pcos that makes it uber hard to lose weight gang), upper 200s/low 300s weight wise when i had mine, and they IMMEDIATELY referred me to a surgeon who was prepared and familiar with working on fat people no fuss, and this is With medicaid, i'm genuinely shocked you didn't get the same, i thought it would be standard practice (though why i expect even that from the american healthcare system is a mystery jeez... they love to disappoint .) The mishandling is fucking abhorrent, especially with the newer information that it wasn't even the SURGEON talking to you, i spoke with the assistant (or something? im not sure of her title it's been a few years since mine, but it was during the beginning of the pandemic) for the first half of my consult, but even though my surgeon was one of the busier ones in the hospital he STILL made the time to meet me and discuss things himself at that consult. And they were genuinely some of the nicer people i've had to deal with when it came to my weight, i can't believe they tried to pass it off as your diet when it's so known that genetics is a huge factor in it and your diet isn't even remotely bad..... (it was bigtime genetics with mine as well actually, my Ma had hers out for gallstones and i want to say one of her sisters did as well before i did) It's Exceedingly Fucked Up how they're treating you, especially with the condition you're in, you should be getting expedited treatment no fuss, it's genuinely fucked they're making you deal with this. Wishing you the best with getting this handled quickly, you deserve much better!!!!!!!!!!!! In the meanwhile, also wishing you luck with the surgery itself when it's scheduled!! Good news that i can offer is that in my experience it's not the worst recovery-wise, the main difficulty i had was sitting up after laying and getting out of bed/walking and such (abdominal surgery is a bittova doozy... and one helluva thing to make you realize how much your stomach muscles really do FDCFVGB), but sitting up wasn't too bad pretty much the whole way through at least, if you have any friends who could come over and chill with you for the first few days having someone around is a Massive help; and either way i'd see about moving stuff you think you'll need/want into the vicinity of where you'll be recovering once you're closer to the surgery itself, if you get any energy to spare (apologies if any of this bit is a lot also, i tend to lean into advice if someone's dealing with something i've gone through before^^) No but yea, i really do wish you the best of luck with all of this, both getting stuff scheduled and the surgery itself when it comes; i hope things go as smoothly as they can from here, and that your pain will ease soon!!

thank you so much, i really appreciate this message!

literally, the outpouring of people saying "WHAT THE FUCK???" to how i've been treated wrt my gallbladder has been making it easier. i felt so fucking defeated in that appointment, you have no idea, i felt like this was just standard protocol and i was an idiot for getting my hopes up thinking that getting the surgery would be "easy". literally after that appointment i just felt fucking dead inside so i REALLY REALLY appreciate people letting me know this is NOT OKAY

i'm really glad they took you seriously, PCOS gang. i'm sorry you deal with that too like at least she let up when i said i have PCOS and losing weight isn't something i can just Choose to do. i've literally gone through periods of my life where i starved and had next to no food at all and i only ever got down to... 260 lbs. while starving.

holy shit, thank you for the info that makes me feel a lot better about how i've been treated... i'm SO glad you actually got to talk to a surgeon about it, you know... the person who knows what they're talking about!! i didn't get to speak to a surgeon... at all. the people who spoke to me were a medical student in training, and a.... physician's assistant. like what the actual fuck, neither of you know what a surgeon wants why are you giving me inaccurate information?

she did fortunately refer me to bariatric surgeons to get the appointment scheduled, however, the problem is i'm going to have to do ANOTHER consult with them before i can get my gallbladder removed, which is scary because who knows how long that's going to take. my consult was last friday, and it's thursday, and i have not received a call from the bariatric surgeons. i had to call their clinic this morning, while shaking and sniffling with a fever to ask them for the number for bariatrics so i could call them myself to see what the fuck is going on with this referral

all while i can't eat. i got sick yesterday after eating white rice. rice. made me sick. two days before that i got sick from some bread. like i can't eat anything at all at this point i'm relying on liquids, here. miso soup, gatorade and water is alright short term but i kinda can't keep. not eating. like this forever. honestly the way that PA was speaking to me, it made me feel like she straight up wanted me to die. like she saw my issues as not worth her time because i'm a fat person and i should just roll over and die because i'm not thin and thus don't "deserve" medical care. like at this point it feels like she WANTS me to die

I'm sure the bariatric surgeons are great people but i'm not exactly filled with confidence when it comes to whether or not i'll actually be taken care of. when i got my colon/endoscopy, the doctor was "running behind" and the nurses "couldn't figure out why". when i went into the operating room, he was quite literally playing on his phone, scrolling facebook. all of his patients were behind because he was on his phone. i had to re-schedule my transportation through my insurance to pick me up an entire hour late because he was goofing off on his phone. unreal. if you want a job where you can goof off on your phone, medicine isn't it. find an office job, you asshole

actually, thanks a ton for the recovery information, because i don't think i can trust that hospital to even get that right for me. :') i've never gotten surgery before so i wasn't quite sure what to prepare for! relocating items is a smart idea, fortunately my bedroom is small so that shouldn't be too much of an issue! i have my neighbors' contact info so i might be able to see if they can lend a hand whenever i need help quickly and might not be able to get someone else to come over. that's a smart idea, thank you!

do you think my wheelchair would help alleviate some of those issues with walking in the beginning? i keep my wheelchair next to my bed so i should be able to crawl into there whenever i need to walk around the house. either way, thank you so much for the super kind message, and for advice on what the recovery process is like! that was what i was most curious about, as i have no experience with surgery as of now

thanks again for the kind message, the support and the reassurance... i've been so worn down over this it isn't funny. i've been so exhausted both mentally, but also physically, because my pain and symptoms have been spiking lately. i've been getting pain that travels around to my back. i can't sit upright or walk without aggravating it. how is this not serious? how is a matter of 10 - 15 lbs more important than someone who literally can't keep down their food? unreal

i'm relying on over the counter anti-emetics and bloating medications just to survive. some days i HAVE to take a dramamine or else i'm gonna throw up. i don't have an option, it's to the point where i almost just take it reflexively daily

i hope you have a great day and thanks for all the help! your message really helped, thanks again

[hecksupremechips]

People in the notes have said physical therapist Akihiko and ohohoho you fools you fucking clowns you don’t even know. Imagine Shinji getting out of the coma and all the rehabilitation shit he’s gotta do all the physical therapy like you just know Akihiko is so fucking over the moon he’s done so much research he’s so excited to see Shinji have a “training regime” he infodumps about what’s happening with the muscle recovery process and what stretches work best hes just way too invested he talks over doctors and Shinji is just like “good god if you know so much why don’t you just be a physical therapist” and Akihiko’s like 😈

Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

U MADE IT THROUGH THE BEHEMOTH FIGHT!!!!!!!!! giving u blanket & choccy milk etc. it is an Arc!! not as bad as the s9 n stuff imo. but.its heavy. so much fucking happens. man. at least chevalier isn't dead. anyway if u have any thoughts on the All Of It u know im always curious!! but also just celebrating with u!!! yeaaa wahoo arc 25 time :]]]

SO MUCH STUFF HAPPENED THERE I DONT EVEN KNOW WJERE TO FUCKING STAAAART MAN. holy shit. God. fuck. okay. regent. first of all. what the fuck man. I thought for sure he was about to have a whole arc coming up what with Heartbreaker apparently pushing his way into BB !!!! FUCK!!! I hope imp kills his ass so badly. taylor is once again put in a position where she feels like she's betraying the undersiders trust what with the video being posted online. god. I really really hope they don't take that out on her. that situation just felt so fucking dire from start to finish. I KNEW some people weren't gonna get out of there alive but... goddamn. forces were fucking decimated. I know there's a boost in public perception considering the fact that behemoth is FUCKING DEAD but at the same time like.... how the hell are they gonna recover from this. I mean. whatever they've done it countless times before apparently but. man. nothing compares to the feeling of dread immediately following reading an endbringer attack. fuck.

HEY??? SCION ACTING ON HIS KILL ORDERS BTW. FUCK ME UP. OHHHH U KNOW IM THINKING ABT THIS SO HARD. why the fuck did it take him so long to get there? what was he DOING. he finally acted on his kill orders. fuck. I csnt even put my thoughts abt this into words apparently im just fucking speechless over it. you're telling me he had this capability the whole time. God. what else is he gonna do. kind of holding out for a scion mad god arc or something. idk. man. it feels like the foundations of the world have fucking shifted .

also!!!!!!!! EXTREMELY delighted to know golem was theo this whole time !!!!!!! I've been dying 2 see theo again and I'm SO excited he's golem specifically because HE DID SO MUCH IN THAT FIGHT. HE DID SO MUCH. HE WAS HUGE. his big hands were one of the biggest things slowing down behemoth I'm so proud of him. I'm so ridiculously attached to this kid apparently even tho I know something terrible is probably gonna happen to him. can't wait to see how he helps bring about the apocalypse. really glad he's on a wards team and not a villain. that just makes me happy :]

uhhhhhh bringing this full circle thinking about the undersiders now. bow the hell are they gonna cope with regents loss. badly I bet. pretty good it doesn't seem. predictions i think brian is going to have a bad relapse with his trauma, imp is gonna go murder revenge arc on heartbreaker, tattletale is going to try to hold things together but not be good at it, Rachel is going to live on the other side of the portal with her dogs and be also bad at coping with things. idfk. still extremely emotional over that shot of rachel and taylor sleeping in the helicopter though. man. huge wolfspider w but at what cost. somethingsomething taylor telling her to be with imp while she copes w regents death even if she doesn't say anything her presence is still good. cut to rachel being there for her in the aftermath of everything and letting her fall asleep. and trusting her enough to also fall asleep. feeling a big type of way about that. fuck all the plot stuff im thinking about my bug dog yuri now

[m1d-45]

Asking The Important Questions and Answering:

-you still alive everybuddy?

~Yes, yours truly is alive, a year older for some time now already and suffering BECAUSE I'M MOVING WITHIN 2024!

-freshest news?

~i became an uncle/aunt for the 8th time, his name is (blank) and i'm VIBRATING! He's so tiny! And blonde and has these BIG eyes i wanna squish them! We're giving the parents a bit of themselves time but gosh i wanna gush over the wittle baby in person and not over pictures!

Anyways, do the people of teyvat celebrate babies?

We're celebrating in a few weeks!

-🥘Stew

waves!!!

minor spoilers for sumeru + natlan AQ, i use natlano instead of “” natlanese “”

1) i am still alive!!! somehow!!! however comma,

i am in college now!!! holy shit!!! and it has been HELL on my schedule be so fucking fr- i’m taking online classes and with the adhd you can imagine how that’s going (hint : bad). i’ve also just had a bunch of trouble that has killed my motivation (lotta personal stuff blah blah) and i’ve been falling back to less taxing blurbs rather than anything actually post-able. also as such i just have Not had the energy to answer asks,, i read them all and i love you everyone who sends them but i don’t wanna reply with the equivalent of “i ain’t reading that but good for you. or sorry that happened.” yk?

2) congrats on the new relative!!!! baby kids are WILD and i wish them good health.

for me… well, i’m finally getting a hold on things, and i can feel that i have more energy again, which i’m really excited about!! i’ve had some ideas SLOW COOKING for MONTHS that im very excited to serve!!! not really news though, just a Development,,,

(​yes it took me like 2.5 months to get a grip on things. it’s the autism. shhhhh)

for actual news.. uh, i learned that there’s a 10$ fee for getting locked out of your dorm! uhhh i have the object permanence of a d6, how obvious is it

3) i think like.. remembering that teyvat still uses oil lamps, of course they’re happy about children!!! different nations show it in different ways, though.

mondstadt is a very “it takes a village” city, so celebrations focus on allowing the parent to recover and preparing for their new life. lotta time off work and pages of advice, you know?

if mond is the present, liyue is the future. lotta focus on practices for good health — that vary between families, ranging from calming teas for the parent to necklaces with herbs tucked in the pendant for the child.

inazuma is… inazuma. post-decree lifting, though, things somewhat go back to normal adjacent. like liyue, it’s about a prosperous future, but in non physical forms. intangible blessing and faith over physical jade beads, you know?

the forests of sumeru are run by the akedemiya. wisdom does not take breaks, and neither should you. one brief event close after the birth is enough — the closest to modern baby showers. gifts given, the clock strikes, and that’s about it.

the deserts, however, follow mondstadt’s lead, especially in places such as aaru village. children are very communal, and even those without biological children are often parental figures. health for the parent while the child is raised with the others, the best childcare this side of the chasm.

fontaine is extravagant. for some of the richer families, lady furina herself would come down and personally wish the child well. lotta impractical, flashy gifts given over a too many days. it’s a social event, for those around the new family just as much as it is the child themself.

natlan is also very aggressively communal. nobody fights alone, after all, no matter the shape of their battle. celebrations consist of the tribe giving practical gifts, anything from clothes and food to a promise to be there when needed. specific preferences switch between the tribes — the people of the springs someone give seashell necklaces for good luck, the scions of the canopy a set of soft gloves, suitable for new skin while also sturdy enough to climb ropes with. natlano treat the parent the best, i think.

snezhnaya is small, private. close family and friends only, whispered prayers and tight, worried hugs. the everwinter is not kind, so it is made up for with the embers of what was once a tight knit community. they cannot give what they once could, cannot sing and knit and give blankets with blessings woven into the fabric, but they do what they can. they huddle around the fire, hoping against hope.

[darkphoenix07]

hii ive never requested before so this is kinda scary tbh .... im not sure if your mental health requests are still open but if they are, can i request one with either hongjoong or jongho that's up to u! (since i noticed u already had alot with hongjoong already ..) where reader has an eating disorder because of insecurities and is trying to recover but some days fall back into old habits. And how he would comfort you and help you back on track

thank you so much for this btw <3 I've read all of your mental health series since i myself am struggling alot with my mental health and I'm sure it means alot to other people too who also struggle, you're doing sm people a favor 💓

Jongho helps you with eating disorder

Masterlist

Mental Health Request

Paring : Idol Jongho x Reader

Word count : 1.6k

Song 🎵 : Those eyes by New West

Genre : Soft, Comfort, Fluff

4:45 p.m.

Everyone in the agency treats you very well after you got attached with Jongho. Specially when you are the girlfriend of their life maknae. They adore you like a little sister too and you love them with all of their heart which is why going to meet them is your favorite part of the day. Specially when you are feeling down.

As you walk inside the agency you meet with San, "Y/n, wassup," he immediately pulls you for a hug.

When he releases the hug, his eyes get big, "Damn, you look pale. Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, it's just. Maybe I am tired," you didn't even know when was the last time you ate something. But that is good, right? You have become so fat nowadays. Isn't that why you can't move properly? You feel suffocated and confined around your body. Only skipping food can make it alright.

"I'm going to buy some ice creams. Coming back in a few minutes," he winks before passing away.

You enter in the elevator and reach inside the practice room where you see them sitting on the floor, giggling with one another. You automatically smile seeing Jongho's gummy smile as Mingi gets scared when Jongho tried to hit him.

Suddenly Jongho notices you and stands up, "Y/n, you are here!"

He immediately pulls you into an embrace soaking your empty heart, maybe your empty stomach too.

"You don't look so good. What's up? Are you not taking meals properly?" Jongho asks you and in reply you only smile.

"Yes, you look like you have lost a lot of pounds. What's wrong?"

You feel uncomfortable hearing Wooyoung through these words at you. Because all you think about is how ugly you look. How bad your fat is making things for you.

"I-I am fine. I just wanted to meet you. I was thinking about you a lot," you tell Jongho with another smile but it doesn't convince him much.

"I'll take you to your favorite restaurant today. But first let's have ice cream after hyung brings them," he smiles at you pulling you inside.

You sit with them, keep listening to their bickerings and after sometimes San arrives with a box of ice creams.

You and Jongho share one big bucket which is butterscotch, your favorite one. But when you start to have the ice cream, you mind starts speaking to you calling you ugly shit, a pig and how you shouldn't eat like this.

"You are barely having these. Are you alright?" Jongho asks you and you nod.

"Maybe it's my period, I've lost appetite," you lie to him gripping your own shirt. You feel guilty for being this person but you can't help it.

"I-I am coming," you get up and run to the bathroom. You end up throwing up water and ice cream because that's all you've left inside your stomach. Your stomach hurts and your throat burns from the crazy sensation and how it is so hard to eat.

You leave the bathroom and see them cleaning up stuff for practicing.

"I'll have another lesson then we can go together. Can you wait?" Jongho asks you and you nod.

"That's my girl," he kisses you on the forehead smiling and goes back for the practice.

As you sit down to watch them practice, you start feeling drowsy and nauseous.

Jongho looks back at you asking if you are okay and you try to give him a reassuring smile that you are.

But it only gets worse when you get up wanting to leave the room. You grab the nob and try to open the door but suddenly everything feels hazy to your eyes. You stop feeling the ground underneath you and fall into deep sleep.

Hearing the deep thud from you passing out, Jongho comes running, "Y/n. Oh my God. Baby! What's wrong? Wake up. Come on, wake up!!"

The members look at each other hearing Jongho calling you baby which he never does.

"She will be fine. Let's call an ambulance," Hongjong says patting Jongho's back.

"Splash water on her face. She may wake up," Seonghwa suggests and Yunho brings a bottle full of water.

Jongho splashes the water on you but you don't open your eyes as the problem is something else.

"Why isn't she waking up? Oh man. This is so bad," Jongho is trembling as your head is on his lap. Your body has gone cold and you are barely breathing which starts concerning Jongho more.

The ambulance comes and he takes you in the hospital where Yeosang joins him.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

As you wake up, you feel someone holding your hand sobbing.

"I am so sorry I didn't notice earlier. I am so fucking sorry," it's Jongho's voice you realize as you open your eyes.

"Oh my God. You are awake!!!" He hugs you tightly pressing himself against you.

You feel a saline pipe on the back of your hand when you hug him back. You look around and realize that you are in a hospital bed.

"What happened?" You ask him and he looks at you with blazing eyes.

"When was the last time you had a proper meal?" He throws the question at you with a demanding voice and you can't help but feel scared.

"I won't scold you, sweetheart. Please do tell me. When did you last have a proper meal?" He asks you so softly that your heart burns.

"I-I...maybe with you," you tell him which was four days ago.

"Seriously?" He looks like he snaps but he is mad at himself for not being able to take care of you.

Your scared face tells him you misunderstood him so he gets on the bed with you, "I am concerned about you because you have iron deficiency, lack of vitamin D, Vitamin C, Vitamin B complex. In total if I say, you are going through malnutrition. How do you think I'll feel if I get to know these?"

"I am sorry. I didn't m-" you break into tears but he cups your face into his palms.

"Hey, don't cry. I didn't want to make you cry. I am mad at myself for not being able to give you enough time to take care of you. If you were having a hard time to have food, you should have told me. I didn't even notice," he says like it is all his fault that you avoid food.

"Don't blame yourself for something I've been doing," you tell him holding his hands into yours.

"Baby, you have become my responsibility from the day I've started to have feelings for you. You are not only a part of my life. You have become my life. I can't think of a single day without you though I don't tell you these enough. But I am willing to tell you everything you need to hear for recovering as early as possible," he kisses your forehead and a drop of his tear fall on your cheek.

"All your sufferings are mine, all your pain is mine, all of your agony is mine. Don't you know that already. Why don't you eat sweetheart? Why? You used to love having food once," he asks you whispering the last words like if anyone is beside him they will know your secret or maybe it is his heart burning for you seeing you like this.

"I don't know. I feel like food is the reason everything is going wrong in my life. I need to fix everything. I feel hopeless, wrecked.The more I lose my weight, I feel like I need to lose more. I throw up everything I eat unintentionally. I feel so fucking disgusting when I eat something. It becomes hard for me to look in the mirror once I devour something," you tell him the truth but end up becoming a sobbing mess.

"Hey, we can work on it together. What if I was in your place? Wouldn't you do the same for me? Wouldn't you want to help me?" He asks and you nod.

"Then listen that I'll always be there for you no matter what. I'll help you gain confidence again. Please don't hide all these from me again?" He begs you kissing your knuckles and you smile.

After you get discharged, you start meeting a therapist with him. He has gone crazy over you nowadays because he keeps telling you how pretty you look, how perfect you are. He shows you mukbang day after day making your mouth water which is why you start to have food again. You take some suppliments to gain your appetite again which works very well.

Last time you checked, you have gained some pounds finally after hardworking. Specially with Jongho's support.

Most importantly he never reminds you of your food disorder. He makes you forget about you playing stupid food games and taking you to every new restaurants in the city making you taste new foods.

You thank yourself and him for coming this far after months torture on yourself. Because without him you wouldn't be able to beat this.

I myself wrote it with empty stomach but now I'm feeling fucking hungry