#no idea whats being said doesnt matter
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erik karlsson | 11.24.23
#i love you hockey news sweden you ALWAYS have my back#erik karlsson#no idea whats being said doesnt matter#the biggest brown eyes in the whole world and they expect me to be normal? not a chance
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Did not think I would come back with Accidental Siblings art so soon but then @japeneselunchtimerush made a post suggesting that Bokushi should stick his tongue out at people for fun and my brain refused to let me do anything else until I created a visual. Here are the resulting sketches I came up with of baby Boku being a little menace (ft. big bro Seijuro and Miyoko).
[Art related to my fic, Accidental Siblings.]
#i love the idea of baby boku being silly#he deserves to experience whimsy after all hes been through#and as aura has said in the og post seijuro pretends like he doesnt know of bokushis bratty streak#basically seijuro is to bokushi what reo is to seijuro#constantly being like âbokushi would never do thatâ knowing damn well that bokushi can will and likely already has#bokushi is his baby what more can he say#anyway this was fun to draw#wouldve finished earlier but my puppy fell asleep on my lap and i didnt have the heart to move her til her bedtime#which was two hours later...#but i bounced back and prevailed so that's all that matters#hope you guys enjoy!#kuroko no basket#knb fanart#my art#knb fanfic#accidental siblings#AS gallery#big bro oreshi#baby bokushi#miyoko
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if youre wondering what criteria i use to decide to tag/categorize something as either painting or illustration, the answer is that it's almost completely arbitrary
#especially when the medium is unclear#or like ink or watercolor can really easily straddle the line between illustration and painting depending on the subject#If this post doesnt show this well i clearly overthink the distinction between these two ideas a lot#especially as a person who does both illustration and painting#ultimately like i said i think the difference is almost completely arbitrary and it comes down to like#a cultural idea of what the artist is trying to accomplish with the specific piece#i think illustration tends to veer more utilitarian in terms of depicting a specific thing or narrative#and when thinking of a painting i tend to think more about technical skills or like a vague feeling#like socially illustration serves a different role than painting but when you start trying to categorize these things granularly#the lines really start to blur#and ultimately it like does not matter because art does not like to be boxed#but i have to box them. with tags on tumblr. to be able to find them again#so this is a really longwinded way of saying the ultimate goal of my tagging system is to be able to search a word and find what i want#not prescriptively literally describing things#but my autistic literalism and desire for infinite nuance means that i feel cringe when i tag something that it may not literally Be for#the sake of finding it again later#like my hounds tag being basically any canid. SORRY!#anyway
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literally no idea what they're saying again lol but behind the scenes gundham + kaz (+ fuyu) !!! I love all of them so much
#this behind the scenes video is absolute gold its like 20 mins of just. well mostly gundham being weird and shoving a camera at peopleđ#i apologise greatly for the spam i've subjected everyone to today. i just. I LOVE THE PLAY SO MUCH#anyway focusing on this video. like i said no idea what they're saying but it's soudam so it doesnt matter. i love soudam i love soudam i l#and fuyuhiko I LOVE HIM#aaaaaa#<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3#soudam#soudham#kazuichi soda#kazuichi souda#gundham tanaka#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa#sdr2 the stage#danganronpa the stage#they are so SILLYYY
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i will never be able to put into words how amazing it is to have hanae natsuki play mikoto
#milgram#im actually this guys biggest fan#i freak out over his role announcements literally every time i see them even if i have no fuckin idea who hes playing#im just happy hes getting roles man#such a phenomenal voice actor#i get so sad whenever hes doing sad scenes because just hearing his voice sound heartbroken makes ME heartbroken#doesnt matter how dogshit the rest of the series was#if a hanae natsuki character is sad then IM sad#im emotionally deranged over mikoto. as u can imagine#lxm textposts#also in case anyone doesnt know he has a youtube channel#and its the funniest fucking thing ever because he only plays horror games#and the other day he posted a lethal company video and its like#dude why is kayano mikoto playing lethal company LMFAO#god i wish i knew japanese i just watch these vids having absolutely no idea whats being said but i enjoy it so much anyway
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hang on are cougars like panthers
#'the cougar also known as the panther' SCREAM#dont mind me rewatching carmilla as a side effect of my newfound interest in vampires#you'd think it was renewed interest in vampires but no#i actually have never been all that interested in vampires as their own thing i was just gay#and i dont think carmilla really explored the concept itself#like A* in using the medium. D or whatever in exploring their subject matter#actually tbf their subject matter was lesbianism so. again probably an A. they knew what they wanted and they did it well#idk how letter grades work tbh#also not actually sure how much they got into the vampire thing which is why im rewatching to check#bc i was reading iwtv and i was like damn carmilla left stuff on the table#but i also think a lot went over my head#even just english wise im a little stunned at how much i didnt catch. like i was fluent in 2015 for sure but. you do keep learning words#also carmilla is like a popculture remix and i dont have a lot of popculture knowledge so a lot of that went over my head too#now i have just enough to know that im missing a lot#like theres a line in s1 where laura goes 'im living with a vampire. an honest to lestat vampire' and like. never caught that#bc i didnt know how the fuck that was fhkjghgh#but anyway im watching s2 and laura's like 'vampire seductress here is just crabby bc im not falling for her 17th century idea of game'#and like they keep calling armand Ancient right? but carmilla is not much younger#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all#like carmilla is 400smth and laura is aware abt that to joke abt it and probably thinks it's a little hot but then you think abt how they#depict that kinda age with armand like what he says to madeleine. 'how do you go on when everything from your era is gone'#and sure carmilla has that loneliness but DAMN. like fuck. shes been doing this same trick. being like the abigail hobbs to the dean for#centuries? i mean there was that century or idk how long where she was buried alive or whatever. but THAT TOO#like damn fuck!!!!!!!!!! ive been going through the fanfic again this week and like there really isnt much#at least doesnt seem to be much that explores this. unless it's in all the aus bc i filtered those out (and still got them)#also interesting difference is if i remember correctly the hollstein happy ending is that carmilla becomes human#in iwtv of course like every important relationship is between vampires. and every lover turns vampire. and every vampire is a lover#sorta. bc abuse themes and stuff. so the inversion makes sense but wouldnt it have been kinda cool if she turned laura tho#anyway. can you believe they were like 'well shes a cougar thats her job and also her supernatural power' dhfkhjgkh as i said: A*
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absolutely obsessed with Armand showing up wearing the glasses of the guy he just killed and being like hey guys :3 meanwhile Daniel and Louis are just SPIRALING, fully planning murder in their heads, coming to epiphanies left and right
I was a little so and so on the show but I think I'm sold now
Ahahaha OHHH is that where the glasses are from đ ngl I didn't catch that at all I thought he just went for a random wardrobe change
#im honestly v bad at keeping what's going on straight in this show tbh#thank you for explaining#i think i was doing pretty well up until the loumand dual narration#now im always just like wait what year was that?#which of them said it#who doesnt know what#i also sadly dont care enough about the show versions of them to try i think#loustat was ruined for me when Lestat beat the shit out of him#and i feel like youre kinda supposed to care the most about that relationship#like as in wanting them to get together again eventually#but i just kinda stopped rooting for or caring about them being together after that#if it was just a random side ship it wouldnt matter that much but#like they basically made that ship the core of the show from the start#so you know its not going to just go away or wtv#still entertained enough to watch it but i will stick to the books for most of my ideas of the characters n stuff#vampire chronicles spoilers#interview with the vampire spoilers#ask#anon#p#vmpcs
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im getting therapy who cheeredâŒïžâŒïžđđđ
#jcâs cawing#yayyyyyy!!!!!!!!#i have no idea when my first appointment is since my sister was handling allat stuff#but im nervous and excited tbh#actually this is a crazy story because#my sister (other one not appointment booker) and i have the our yearly physicals on the same day#because its easier#and we obviously had to fill out paperwork#but the doctors came super quick for some reason so i had to continue filling out everything in the exam room#but then i had to go out of the room and left the papers there because im not gonna be filling out paperwork as i take urine sample#and i come back to see MY PAPERS ALREADY FILLED OUT?????#TURNS OUT MY SISTER DID MY PAPERS FOR ME????????#and obviously it matters because it had questions about mental health stuff#and since shes not me she doesnt know what the fuck happens in my head#so this bitch just filled out my paperwork with inaccurate information!!!!!!!!!!!#its even worse because she thinks im this like. super sad and quiet person when im literally not#i just dont wanna talk to her because shes a bitch#so the doctors like hey are you okay bro and i cant say shit because im nervous and doctors are scary#and shes like yeah so im gonna have you go to therapy (not exact words idk since it was in like. february)#and my moms lowkey freaking out since she like??? hates mentally ill ppl or something#shes says if i get therapy ppl will think im crazy or something which??? no????? thats not how it works đđ#like shes literally been prescribed antidepressants and she just. doesnt take them#shes the type of person to tell people to deal with it and grow up if they have mental issues#anyway i forget about that shi until today because some lady called my sister and said i was on a waitlist#and then i cried when i remembered all that shi and my sister confirmed the appointment and im gonna have a session soon#not sure when but i think its in the next week????#nervous because what if they execute me for being mentally ill /s#tbh im not even sure if i need it but always good to have i guess???? idk man đđ#anyways yap over
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ive already said this before about how ive felt so disconnected from art. its all just lines and poses and specific distances away from the camera, layers of color... something triggered a switch in my brain that is making things just not feel real anymore.
and its like. ok. whatever. its still fun to draw and i get very happy when i manage to draw something good. but i lack the motivation! so.. lemme think.. ah! my characters! perhaps i should try to actually flesh them out as real people, with a past and personalities and relationships..
and the more i read about it the more disconnected i feel. is that all life is about? traits and backstories and being bound to everything that happened to you.. the ways you think and act being somewhat easily traceable to your history..character arcs. stories just being a means to an end(?)
and i also want a world for my ocs to live in that is a bit believable and justifies them, but every bit of advice and apparently common worldbuilding things have all just been done before.
is there any chance of making something that matters when its all been done before or if everything else feels unreal and abstract. is there a point to anything
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#the more i try to understand how things work the more things fall apart. and when it becomes unbearable all i can do is distract myself#is this what the dissociation all the cool kids(/s) keep talking about feels like..?#its like losing the ability to see a tower as a tower and just knowing its all just bricks and cement. you cant see meaning anymore#the worst part ive felt while coming up with ideas for my ocs is the conflicts and past part. their characterization#ill think like lol wouldnt it be funny if he kept being fucked over many times and over and over again. wouldnt that be fun to make and rea#and then it hits me. thats just my life. its all conflict after conflict and things going wrong exactly at the worst (but funniest!) time#its like everything is a joke really. or when its not you still dont know why some pieces of art are 'better' than others#i know deep down it doesnt matter if its been done before. i argue for that. the spin every individual puts on an idea is what makes it >#>worth it of course. but i feel like snapping my own neck when i see something that is similar or just like something i made or >#>was literally just thinking of doing it. i never do anything! and when i finally get to it someone already did it! fucking shoot me alread#or i will look at some drawing and be like ah yes. this is the distance between the eyes. the way they drew the muzzle is like a box. mhm#i can do that. i see how the artist constructed it. its doable! and then i go try and fail miserably despite seemingly knowing how its made#everything i ever think is wrong. ive never been right about anything. or if i have..someone already said it before anyways#genuinely hopeless. i wonder if being mentally ill is the cause of this or if i was ill enough it would all spiral back into making sense#i feel like a baby just coming to the realization that a stick figure isnt really a person but some lines and circles and dots#im deteriorating mentally so fast. i think one day ill just collapse on the floor and black rot is going to pour out of my scalp#long post#dextxt
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but i would give anything for just one day spent in the life i had when i was 15. it may not have been perfect but i felt like i belonged somewhere. and i didn't worry so goddamn much about the big picture
#sighhh i miss when my biggest worry was my crush liking me back#i was such a typical teenager in hindsight bc of that#it seems a lifetime ago but it was only 4 years#2 years since we broke up thats crazy. everything changed i built my own life from nothing#im a completely different person#figuratively and literally though i will not use that to excuse my past actions haha#discord was like my whole damn world my center of the universe talking to my friends on there the highlight of my day#we had plans we had goals we had all thse big ideas and things we could do in our free time#now we go days without really talking to each other#in 2020 i said 3 more years and then we meet irl now 2023 is over and i am sure i will never see you. i wouldnt want to see you#i guess adulthood caught up to all of us. okay. most of us#i am just so sentimental#things had purpose back then and i wasnt this afraid#and i loved them#and i had someone who loved me#its fucked up how you dont even realize it wont last forever until its over#i wish it had ended differently. the whole friend group.#sometimes i wish we wouldve stayed friends. but thats just hopeful thinking because in my heart i know there is no way#were too different and theyre too committed to fucking up everything they have always#it makes me sad. makes me think they truly dont feel like they deserve happiness. i am kind of that way too#but i dont complain about losing the people i push away. so thats how were different lol#and i also dont suibait my mentally ill followers every other day because of some drama that only 15 year olds care about#so in that regard thank fuck i grew up. but also. thinking of them reminds me of simpler times#when this petty shit mattered to me. it really doesnt matter to me anymore and i cant get myself to care about anything that happens online#maybe its time for me to leave the internet behind for good. i dont know what its doing for me anymore.#i dont have anything im excited about on my laptop anymore lmao i have to desperately cling for straws for things i could do#to avoid sleep and being alone with my thoughts
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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Lmao so apparently my idiot sibling who I will not be able to cut off as thoroughly as I'd like thanks to my mom being too nice and loving her stupid waste of life ass said, in response to me pointing out how insanely sexist she is, no. I'm the sexist one and that's hilarious for a billion reasons, but mostly because ain't no sexist going to spend four years getting an I Hate Sexism Degree. No, obviously having a gender studies degree does not mean a person isn't sexist automatically (the rancid politics of anti porn and anti sex work feminism of the 70's showed how awful feminists can be to women, let alone the long history of racism and anti queerness), but I do think having a gender studies degree probably means you're less likely to be sexist.
But sure, person who doesn't listen or respect SHIT unless it's got a penis attached, I'M the sexist one. Dumb fuck probably doesn't even know what sexism is.
#winters ramblings#my mom told me that amd i jad a good laugh and was like WHAT lmao is she actually THAT fucking stupid?#of course the answer is yes but of all my flaws- of which there are many- sexism doesnt and in fact has NEVER hit the list#because ive been a VICTIM of sexism my whole assed life im not going to buy into it and assume that if no penis is involved#the person is a lying rancid harpy looking to destroy me at all costs like my idiot sibling. ANYTHING a man says is GOSPEL#but anything a woman says needs to be under such a heavy cloud of suspicion she wont ever believe you no matter HOW true#whatever you said was. but if i were a MAN oh id get WORSHIPED at the alter#fuckin im sexist ok ask men who have run into me if THEY think that because it takes 2 seconds fora sexist to make themselves#known and it takes just as short of a time for me to react in a way that suggests i dont agree#and i have NEVER nor WOULD i ever worship a man like hes more impressive than the idea of GOD#in fact in general i go out of my way to ensure men in my life are WELL aware of where i think ALL our places are#and generally thats an equal footing. but yeah im not shocked the dumb fuck who will do ANYTHING for men who BEAT her kids#calls ME sexist for pointing out shes never ONCE treated a woman with a SPECK of respect and in fact thinks her CHILDREN#acting like dicks is THE SAME as GROWN MEN being abusive tyrants because to her girls and grown men are THE SAME#except that grown men get to do whatever while girls are expected to be perfect Or Else because they dont have the Penis of Freedom#but sure im sexist for pointing out treating CHILDREN like they should have more accountability and responsibility than#GROWN MEN is disgusting and CLEARLY bigoted. silly me children SHOULD be held to a higher standard of behavior than grown men!
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thinking about a game swap. for zesteria/berseria
#.text#zestiria#actually been thinking about it for dayssaa#sorey who lives alone in a small town near pendrago. maybe his brother is sergei? theyre like brothers to me already#anyways then theres his boy best friend mikleo (human) (because hes in place of laphicet) who lives with his uncle michael#after his mom died (im sure you can see where this is going). sorey is sick at the time so he doesnt hear it coming#bc im NOT immune to Chronic Illness Sorey. consequences of being born early. he is sick all the time forever#anyway. one night heldalf's men invade. im sure you know the story. people die or turn into daemons or they turn into daemons#and then die. and while sorey is running (he thinks hes dreaming. or hallucinating. its just the fever and everything is fine) and#looking for mikleo. im sure you can guess what happens there too. bye (human) mikleo#idea came to me in a haze when i was thinking about how totally normal it would be for a guy to love a person who looks exactly#like his dead best friend. you know how it is.#anyway i think sorey is someone who could be fun if put in the role as 'villain' bc. well. that part in zestiria where he#dealt with the world calling him a monster and he just. didnt think about it bc if thats what they wanted him to be or if thats#what they saw him as it didnt matter. he'd still do what he thought was best. regardless of whether or not the world hated him#which. is also kind of similar to what laphicet said to velvet#sad they dropped that in zestiria but its fine i can fix it. with my funny game swap#and i can put these bad boys into Situations
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list 1: 18, 30, 59 is driving me insane, it doesnt matter which member honestly đ
*Didnât Know Youâd Like That*
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dd35acac4085d352dbc1f37f4fdfbef5/a6d6b42c1af88c14-ab/s540x810/4d0c1ad910ec2e09cd535cfa9df6535f8327ee5f.jpg)
Pairing: Jisung x Reader (Fem)
Genre: Smut
Warnings: Choking, Hair Pulling, Biting, Breeding, Creampie, Unprotected (P in V), lots of dirty talk. Think thatâs all? (Not Proof read)
Prompts are: 18 âDo you kiss your mother with that mouth?â 30 âSitâ 59 âI didnât know you liked thatâ. All of these are from my first prompt list (Here) I also have a second prompt list (Here)
Ugh it took me a bit to figure who I wanted to do I saw youâve been getting wrecked by 3racha so figured to do one of them. Hope you enjoy it cause I really really did.
-đ©”
Jisung sat across from you while you both played a card game. Youâve beat him the last 3 rounds, you definitely were feeling a little cocky about it too. âJi you kinda suckâ you teased pushing him with your foot you had against him under the table. âExcuse meâ he scoffed tickling your foot. âI just think youâre cheating, plus thereâs nothing to gain from winning.â He shrugged.
âSo you donât wanna win cause thereâs nothing to gain? Wow really been hanging with Minho to long huhâ you laughed. He chuckled at your words then a light bulb went off in his head. âI have an idea to make it more funâ he smiled a devilish smile âhow about whoever loses next has to do a strip tease for the other.â That smug smile across his face dared you. He knew you were competitive so he knew youâd do it however what you didnât know was this man was 100% hustling you. He was actually really good at this game and now that there was something to win he was gonna go for it.
You looked at him for a brief moment âJi just tell me youâre horny.â You teased rolling your eyes âbet though, Iâll kick your ass againâ you said with a smug smile. âIâm a man always am hornyâ he shrugged as he dealt the cards. You picked your hand up smirking at the cards thinking you had this in the bag. However it was so hard to read Jisung, heâs a bad liar for the most part but games like this heâs got a stone poker face. âGuess you better start stripping pretty boy.â You said putting your cards down.
The smile that creeped across your face was quickly wiped away by Jisung âI donât think so princessâ he said as he put his down revealing a perfect hand. You whined looking at him with a serious face âyou cheated thereâs no wayâ he couldnât help but laugh at your words ânope told yeah if thereâs something to gain Iâll actually do it.â He said standing up making his way to the couch. âNow Iâm ready for my show sweetheartâ he said that stupid smug grin creeping on him, just wanted to smack it off of him (in a loving way).
Although Jisung and you were friends this wouldnât be the first time heâs seen you naked. Hell it wouldnât even be the 4th time, you were always kinda whatever about being naked around him. Did he ever mind? No. Why would he? Getting to see his beautiful best friendâs body like that? He loved it, loved you were so comfortable with him. What he didnât love though is how much you always teased him and then he was stuck just thinking about you while he fucked his fist.
You sighed getting up looking at the cocky man in front of you âfine, but donât come crying to me when you get a boner.â You teased. You slowly made your way towards him taking off certain clothes and letting them drop to the floor. The way you moved your hips moved and the way the lights hit your curves had him in a trance. You could see his bulge growing quickly âsuch an easy boy hmm.â You said standing in front of him âyouâre just to damn hot.â He said his words airy and hot. As you let your last bit of clothes fall you were fully naked in front of him. He felt like he was about to go crazy even more so as you went behind him leaning down towards his ear âso hard for me and I havenât even done anything.â
Jisung almost moaned in reply his head spinning a bit from arousal. He snapped back out of it as you kept talking âsuch a horny man hmm? So hard for his best friend, I bet you think about me all the time when you touch yourself hm?â You said nipping at his ear. As you made your way back around you could see his body language change. His eyes were glued to you âsitâ he said his voice low, it sounded almost like a growl. He pat his thigh looking at you daring you to say something smart. To his surprise though you did, siting down his bulge perfectly sandwiched itself between your folds.
He looked you over a second before he quickly started to suck on your neck making you buck your hips in return. The feeling made him go almost crazy biting harshly onto your neck you let out the loudest moan rolling your hips onto his clothed hard on. His other hand gripped at your neck moving it to give him more room as he continued the assault on it. Leaving pretty little purple marks mixed with teeth marks all over your neck. His hand gripped your throat a bit hard as the free one smacked your ass every time you moved your hips.
You were almost drooling at the sensation, your neck being a sensitive spot for you. âFuck Ji, please- I- fuck- fuck me fuck meâ you babbled your brain already to fuzzy from him. âDo you kiss your mother with that mouth.â He teased pulling away from your neck latching his lips now to yours. The kiss was sloppy full of need and lust. Your tongues wrestled as you grinned on him needing any sort of friction. âFuck princess, ok let me take my pants off quick.â He said pulling away from the sloppy kiss.
As you moved you your eyes were met with the big wet patch you had left on him. His sweats having a clear outline where youâve been grinding. The way his eyes grew at the sight almost made him go feral he discarded his pants quickly pulling you back on his lap. Kissing you again as you grinned on his now unclothed cock. What he lacked in girth he made up in length, his cock a bit curved as well.
You both moaned at the feeling before he moved himself âtake your seat on the thrown princessâ he said he would have cringed at his words but he was already too far gone for that. You slowly sunk down on his cock letting the feeling of him burn into your brain. You could feel him so deep, your walls almost molding to him. Your legs went almost jelly as you tried to move âJi-â you said softly.
He smiled moving his hips upward âmy princess is already so fucked out of her brains she canât move? I bet youâve been thinking of me too huh. Thinking of me filling this pretty little cunt of yours? Hmm?â His words flowed out as he moved his hip digging his nails into your ass. You nod in response making him raise a brow âoh you have, have you? Think about me fucking you hard? The feeling of me filling you so full of my cock?â
âYes- fuck Jiâ you whimpered out his words driving you crazy âand now look at you bouncing on my cock, your cunt sucking me in. I can feel how much my words are driving you crazy, your cunt squeezes around me.â He continued to ramble picking his pace up. He moved one of his hands coming down to play with your clit, god you were so sensitive right now it was crazy. The moan you let out echoed in the room, the sound drove him mad. He latched himself back to your neck biting and sucking it harshly as he fucked you deep.
You could feel your high coming it was like a damn overflowing ready to just break at any moment. Jisung griped your hair pulling your head back a bit âtouch yourself as I fuck you, I want you to cum all over my cock.â He growled his hand now wrapping around your waist pulling your body close to his. You did as you were told as he fucked you mercilessly. âJi- Iâm- fuckâ you cried out as you felt the damn ready to burst âfucking hell princessâ he groaned out.
âIâm gonna fucking breed you so deep.â His words hit a part of you that made you go crazy. His words, his cock pounding you and the your fingers stuttering over your sensitive nub. âJisung- fuck please f-fill me breed me- fuck jisung!â You almost screamed out the damn finally busting the strew of your moans and the way your walls gripped him had him coming undone in no time.
He gripped your body tightly as he thrusted hard deep into you before cuming deep into you. His white strings painted pictures all across your walls. The feeling of him cuming so hard inside you had another wave rush over you making your body jolt squirting all over his cock. The rush of hot liquid coating both of you, he pulled you into a loving kiss holding you so tightly to him. âDidnât think youâd like that, that muchâ he smirked his eyes looked sleepy almost as he kissed you again.
You could only nod resting your head on his shoulder your body shaking a bit. He helped you get cleaned up grabbing you a drink of water as he cleaned himself off. He laid down on the couch pulling you into his arms snuggling you tightly. Your body still feeling a bit jello-y. He peppered kisses against your shoulder âsuch a sweet girl, you did such a good job.â He cooed âletâs watch a movie and relax hmm? Want me to order food?â
You looked up at him and kissed his lips softly âfood it is, Iâll order sweetheart. You ok though?â He said softly you nod holding onto him tightly âyeah, just want cuddlesâ you said voice sleepy. âOf course princess anything for you.â He said kissing your head curling back into the couch with you. You both never ended up getting food, falling asleep to quickly afterwards.
đ If youâd like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me somethingđ©”
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#stray kids#skz#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#han jisung scenarios#han jisung smut#han scenarios#Han smut#jisung scenarios#jisung smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids drabbles#han drabbles#jisung drabbles#han jisung drabbles#bangchan#jeongin#seungmin#changbin#hyunjin#han jisung#Lee know#Lee Felix
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HRSJIDJE IM BACK HII đ«°đ I HAVE SOME MORE IDEAS since exams r finally done.
What about percy x cluess!reader that doesnt seem to get all the flirty action percy has been showing and thinks he's just friendly like that. Maybe throw in a hc about reader being in an aphrodite kid, and doesnt think that anyone could like them romantically cause they thinks its just due to them being aphrodite's child, and percy tries to show them that regardless of what god parent they have, he still likes us.
Can you tell my brain is fried?
-đž
sooner
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pairings: percy jackson x daughter of aphrodite!reader
a/n: I'm in love with this request you never fail to serve with your requests nonnie!!! I wish you all the best for your exams and I hope this can be a little treat since I know how horrible exam season can be! Make sure to take care of yourself love!! đ©·đž
The sun hung low in the sky, casting golden hues across Camp Half-Blood as you walked alongside Percy. He was smiling in that easy, boyish way he always did, his hands casually shoved in his pockets as he glanced at you.
âSo,â Percy said, bumping your shoulder lightly. âWhatâs the latest from Aphrodite cabin? You guys always seem to have, like, ten soap operas running at once.â
You laughed. âYouâre not wrong. Yesterday, Drew tried to use a love potion on one of the Apollo kids, but she mixed it wrong, and now he wonât stop declaring his undying love for a watermelon.â
Percy chuckled. âClassic. But what about you? Any love drama of your own? Got your eye on anyone special?â
You tilted your head, considering. âMe? No, no one. Why?â
Percy stumbled a little, but quickly covered it up with a shrug. âOh, no reason. Just curious.â
He glanced at you, waiting for some kind of reaction, hoping for even the tiniest flicker of realization. But you just smiled at him, completely oblivious. Percy sighed internally. How could you not see it? The way he went out of his way to make you laugh, the way he made excuses to spend time with you, the way he felt like his heart might actually explode every time you smiled at him.
But to you, Percy was just a friend. And no matter how many hints he dropped, you didnât seem to noticem
âËđđËâ
Later that evening, Percy found himself standing outside the Aphrodite cabin. Again. He stared at the door for a moment, debating whether to turn around, but then he sighed and knocked.
When the door swung open, your older brother leaned against the frame, looking completely unimpressed.
âSeriously?â he said, crossing his arms. âYouâve been here so much, weâre starting to think youâre an honorary sibling.â
Percy flushed, rubbing the back of his neck. âYeah, uh⊠I just⊠I need advice. Again.â
The brother groaned and stepped aside, yelling over his shoulder, âHey, lovebirds! Seaweed Brainâs back!â
Your siblings erupted in laughter as Percy shuffled in, his face red as a tomato.
âYouâre still trying to get through to her, huh?â one of your sisters teased, lounging on her bed. âThis is, what, the fourth time this week?â
âSixth,â your brother corrected, smirking. âAt this rate, weâre gonna have to start charging you.â
Percy sighed, running a hand through his hair. âI donât know what else to do! I flirt with her constantly, but she just smiles and changes the subject. I even asked her today if she liked anyone, and she said no!â
The group collectively groaned, and your brother flopped dramatically onto a couch.
âShe is so oblivious,â one of your sisters muttered. âI love her, but gods, itâs painful to watch.â
âHave you tried being direct?â your brother asked, giving Percy a pointed look.
Percy frowned. âIâve been trying! Iâve dropped hints, Iâve asked leading questions, Iâve beenââ
âNo, no, no,â your brother interrupted, waving his hand. âYou donât âhintâ at things with her. Thatâs like trying to teach a rock to swim. You have to be blunt. Like, hit-her-over-the-head-with-it blunt.â
âTell her,â one of your sisters added. âStraight up. No room for her to misinterpret it.â
âSheâs gonna think Iâm crazyâŠâ Percy mumbled.
âShe already thinks youâre crazy,â your brother deadpanned. âJust own it. March up to her, look her in the eye, and say, âHey, I like you. Iâve been flirting with you for weeks, and you havenât noticed, so now Iâm telling you.ââ
The room went silent for a beat, everyone nodding in agreement. Percy groaned. âThis is a terrible idea.â
âItâs your only shot, Jackson,â your brother said, patting him on the back. âGo get her.â
âËđđËâ
The next day, Percy found you by the canoe lake, skipping stones across the water. He took a deep breath, his heart racing, and walked over.
âHey,â he said, smiling nervously. âGot room for one more?â
You glanced up, your face lighting up when you saw him. âOf course. Youâre always welcome, Percy.â
His heart skipped a beat. You had no idea what you did to him when you said things like that.
For a while, the two of you sat in companionable silence, watching the ripples spread across the lake. Then Percy cleared his throat, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
âSo,â he began, his voice a little shaky. âThereâs, uh⊠thereâs something I need to tell you.â
You turned to him, your brow furrowing in concern. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothingâs wrong,â Percy said quickly. âItâs just⊠Iâve been trying to tell you something for a while now, but I donât think Iâve done a very good job of it.â
You tilted your head, confused. âWhat do you mean?â
Percy took a deep breath, summoning every ounce of courage he had. âI like you. Like, like-like you. And before you say anything, no, itâs not just as a friend. I think youâre amazing, and funny, and brave, and honestly, youâre all I think about.â
You blinked at him, completely stunned. âWait⊠what?â
âI like you,â Percy repeated, his face turning red. âAs in, Iâve been flirting with you for weeks because I have a massive crush on you.â
You stared at him, your brain struggling to process his words. âBut⊠I thought you were just being nice!â
Percy groaned, running a hand down his face. âHow could you possibly think that? I literally asked your siblings for advice because I didnât know how to tell you!â
âYou talked to my siblings?â you asked, wide-eyed.
âYes!â Percy exclaimed. âHalf the Aphrodite cabin is sick of me because Iâve been driving them crazy trying to figure out how to get you to notice me.â
You blinked again, the pieces finally clicking into place. âOhâŠâ
Percy laughed weakly. âYeah. Oh.â
There was a long silence as you stared at each other, Percyâs heart pounding in his chest. Finally, you smiled.
âWell,â you said softly, âyou couldâve just told me sooner.â
Percy groaned. âYouâre impossible.â
But then you leaned in, pressing a quick, soft kiss to his lips. When you pulled away, Percyâs face was bright red, but he was grinning like an idiot.
âYeah,â he said breathlessly. âTotally worth it.â
#fem!reader#percy jackson fic#percy jackson fanfiction#percy jackson#percy jackson fandom#percy jackson x fem!reader#percy jackson fanfic#percy jackson x reader#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson x y/n#percy jackson x you#percy jackson fluff#percy jackson imagine#percy jackson blurb#percy jackson oneshot#pjo imagine#pjo fluff#pjo series#pjo one shot
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early seasons spence has me in a chokehold so i kinda have a request for you idk if it makes sense but yeah anyway (please dont tell me its obvious im a yapper ill cry)
ANYWHO
secret relationship au im imagining, earlyseasons!spencer x genderneutral/fem!bau!user (doesnt bother me but im trying to be considerate, im a girl but it really doesnt matter)
basically im thinking like the reader gets kidnapped on a case and spence is FREAKING OUT like lack of sleep, pacing constantly and being really set on finding the unsub freaking out.. and when he finally finds the reader in their state hes like that mix of relieved and absolutely appalled at the readers condition (im imagining all beaten and bloody and stuff idk how graphic you wanna make it). hes all ditsy when hes untying their binds and carrying them out of the place since hes so scared for them. the rest of the thing is kinda hotch calmly telling the reader how freaked out spence was and then im thinking like them comforting spencer afterwards and saying all the âits not your faultâ and âim okay nowâ and its so fluffy it rots all our teeth (but i guess it would also be angst) IDK IF IT MAKES ANY SENSE IMSORRY
anyway remember to drink water and take care of yourself
call me some random emoji cause ill probably be here a bunch
- đ
captured â spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: reader having bruises, reader being tied up, mention of having a terrible headache, a/n: thank you so so much for your request and your request makes perfect sense don't worry !! i loved the idea and i'm looking forward to your next requests đ <3<3<3 i hope i did your request justice !!!
Spencer didnât know where you were. No one did. That thought pounded through his skull, looping endlessly as he nursed what had to be his fifth coffee of the day. He hadnât sleptânot even a minuteâand the caffeine barely registered.
The coffee tasted like ash, bitter and lifeless. Not that it mattered. All it was doing was keeping him on his feet long enough to find you.
He should have seen this coming. He should have known the unsub would target you. You fit the profile perfectlyâhe had pored over the details a hundred times, retracing every step the team had made.
And yet, when it mattered most, Spencer had let his guard down.
And now you were gone. Missing. Maybe worse.
The thought sent a fresh wave of nausea rolling through him. His guilt was unbearable.
But it wasnât just guilt, wasnât just worry for a teammate.
It was something deeper, something he wasnât allowed to show, not in a room full of profilers.
Because this wasnât just about an agent being taken.
This was about you.
The person he had been secretly slipping away with after hours and the person whose hand he had held in the darkness when no one was looking.
It wasnât supposed to happen like this.
He should have stopped you. You should have never been the one to go on that stakeout alone, even if it was routine. Even if youâd assured him youâd be fine. The memory of your casual smile as you walked out the door stabbed at him like a knife.
âItâs just for a few hours, Spence,â youâd said with that soft lilt in your voice, the one you used when you were trying to put him at ease. The one that undid him every time.
Heâd smiled back, pretending to believe you, but his stomach had tightened even then. He should have insisted on going with you.
And nowâGod, nowâhe didnât know if he would ever hear that voice again.
It was a small mistakeâone that was tearing him apart.
He hadnât even realized heâd been gripping the edge of the desk until his knuckles turned white. He forced himself to let go, staring blankly at the case file in front of him. It was no use. Heâd already memorized every detail, every piece of evidence. Nothing had led them to you yet.
But it would. It had to.
Spencer rubbed his eyes, exhaustion clawing at him. His entire body screamed for rest, but the idea of closing his eyesâeven for a momentâfelt impossible. His mind was too full of you.
The burning in his eyes was unbearable, but the ache in his chest was worse.
Everyone on the team was worried about youâhow could they not be? But they were also worried about him. And they had every reason to be.
They thought his reaction was because the two of you were close, because he was the type to carry the weight of every case like a personal failure. But it was more than that.
He wasnât just losing an agent. He was losing you.
He swallowed hard, his grip tightening around the desk once more.
He stared at the evidence board in front of him, the faces of the victims haunting him as he tried to force his brain into profiling mode. But every time he looked at their photos, all he could see was you.
Your smile. Your eyes. The way you looked at him.
His chest tightened painfully, and he dug his fingers into the desk again.He needed to focus.
âReid.âHotchâs voice broke through his frantic thoughts.
Spencerâs head snapped toward the doorway where Hotch stood, his expression unreadable as always. âWeâve got a lead,â he said, stepping inside.âWhere?â Spencer asked.
âAn abandoned warehouse on 14th and Grant,â Hotch replied evenly, though the concern in his eyes was clear.
Spencer turned back to the board, his mind racing as he analyzed the new information. Within seconds, he made the connection. The location fit the unsubâs pattern, his profileâit was possible.
It was enough.
Spencer shot to his feet without another word, practically bolting out the door. The rest of the team exchanged quick glances before following him.
He didnât care if he looked reckless. He didnât care if they saw how desperate he was. He had wasted enough time already.
Derek barely had time to react before Spencer climbed into the passenger seat, his breathing uneven.
Derek glanced at him, concern flickering across his face as he started the engine. âReidââ
âJust drive,â Spencer snapped.
Derek didnât argue. He knew better.
The SUV tore through the streets, Derek driving faster than protocol allowed. But he didnât care. He knew Spencer would bite his head off if he slowed down, and frankly, he couldnât blame him.
Spencerâs knee bounced restlessly as his eyes darted to the GPS screen, counting down the seconds until they arrived.
The second the car came to a stop in front of the warehouse, Spencer threw open the door and bolted.
âReid, wait!â Derekâs voice rang out behind him, but it was no use.
Spencer didnât slow down. He couldnât.
His pulse roared in his ears as he burst into the building, gun raised, breath ragged. His rational mind screamed at him to slow down, to wait for backup, to clear the scene carefullyâstandard protocol.
But protocol didnât matter right now.
The dim lighting inside cast long, eerie shadows along the walls. The air was thick with dust and something metallicârust, maybe blood. His stomach turned at the thought.
His grip on his gun tightened as he moved swiftly, his heart hammering against his ribs.
Room after room, door after doorâempty.
Panic coiled in his chest, squeezing tighter with each dead end. His mind flashed with worst-case scenarios.
He shoved them down. He couldnât think like that.
Then, he reached the last door.
Spencer barely took a breath before forcing it open, gun at the ready.
And thenâ
His stomach dropped.
There you were.
His voice cracked as he called out your name, his heart pounding in his chest. He rushed toward you, his gun immediately lowering as he took in your state.
His stomach twisted at the sight of youâunconscious, slumped forward, your wrists tightly bound to the arms of the chair. The dim lighting highlighted the bruises and cuts on your face, the sight of them sending a jolt of raw panic through him. For a brief, gut-wrenching moment, Spencer feared the worst.
He knelt beside you, his hands trembling as they moved to your neck. His fingers pressed gently against your pulse point, but for what felt like an eternity, there was nothing.
His mind raced. Was this it? Was this how it ended?
Thenâ
There it was.
A faint, steady beat beneath his fingertips.
Relief crashed over him like a tidal wave, and for the first time in what felt like hours, Spencerâs lungs finally let him take a full breath. He leaned forward, forehead nearly touching yours as he whispered shakily, âThank God. Youâre okay. Youâre okay.â
His hands moved to your face, cupping it gently as he tilted your head up to get a better look at you.
When your face came into full view, his breath hitched.
Bruises marred your cheekbone and temple, a thin line of dried blood trailing down from your hairline. Spencerâs heart clenched so tightly he thought it might break. He bit his lip, trying to keep it together, trying to maintain some semblance of control
One single tear slipped down his cheek as he softly brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch as gentle as if he were handling glass.
âIâm here,â he whispered, his voice barely audible. âIâm here.â
âMorgan!â Spencerâs voice cracked, raw with emotion, as he yelled.
Seconds later, Derek burst into the room, gun in hand, his face hard and alert. âReid, I just cleared theââ But the moment his eyes landed on you, his words died in his throat.
Derek cursed under his breath, his gaze shifting between you and Spencer, before asking about your condition, his concern palpable as he rushed to Spencerâs side, holstering his gun.
âAlive,â Spencer barely managed to choke out the word, his voice trembling. âPulse is steady, but we need to get out of here.â
Morgan nodded, his jaw tightening as he quickly pulled out his knife to cut through the ropes binding your wrists.
Spencerâs hands were already on you, one cradling the back of your head, the other resting gently on your arm. His thumb stroked soothing circles on your skin.
The motion was familiar, a small gesture he used to comfort you when you were restless after nightmares, when he needed to remind youâremind himselfâthat you were safe.
He hoped it would work now, that somehow, it would bring you back to him.
Morgan worked quickly, slicing through the restraints. As soon as your wrists were free, Spencer carefully pulled you into his arms, holding you close against him.
His breath hitched as he whispered your name, lips near your ear. âItâs me. Youâre safe now. Iâve got you.â
Your body felt so limp against him. He could barely feel his own limbsâhis exhaustion was a distant thing compared to the need to keep you safe.
Derekâs voice broke through his daze, placing a hand on Spencerâs shoulder. âLetâs move.â
Spencer nodded. As he moved, one arm tightening protectively around you.
As they made their way outside, the sunlight hit Spencerâs face, but he barely noticed.
All he could focus on was youâthe bruises and cuts that were on your skin, the way your body felt too light in his arms. His heart clenched at the thought of how much pain you must have endured, how much suffering had been thrust upon you, all because of the job.
He had promised you that he would protect you, that he would keep you safe. And now, he felt like he had failed you.
Two hours later, after one heated argument with the paramedics, Spencer had insisted on riding in the ambulance with you. He had refused to let you be alone, not for a second.
Now, you were lying in a sterile hospital bed, an IV drip hooked up to you, the soft beeping of machines a constant reminder that you were still hereâstill alive.
Spencer, on the other hand, was slumped in an uncomfortable plastic chair. His body contorted in a way that he knew he would regret later, but he didnât care. His legs were stretched out, but his back was hunched, his neck bent at an awkward angle.
You slowly opened your eyes, blinking as the bright overhead lights made everything blur. The room was unfamiliarâhospital white with the sharp scent of antiseptic lingering in the air.
The pain hit you almost immediatelyâsharp and unwelcomeâmaking its way through your head and down your body. You winced, biting your lip to hold back the whimper that threatened to escape.
The pain was intense, but it was nothing compared to the weight of everything that had happened.
The fear, the physical pain, the overwhelming sense of helplessness, it all crashed down on you like a tidal wave. But beneath it all, something else made itself known. The hum of machines, the soft beeping of your pulse, the sterile scent of the hospital room.
You slowly became aware that you were no longer in that dark, cold room, bound and at the mercy of the unsub. You were safe now.
And with that realization came relief.
You werenât dead. You hadnât been forgotten or abandoned. The unsub hadnât fulfilled his plan.
Tears welled up in your eyes, and before you could stop them, they began to fall. You lifted your hand to your face, wiping them away quickly, but more kept coming. You couldnât stop them.
Your eyes scanned the room, and thatâs when you saw him.
Spencer.
He was there, slumped in the chair beside your bed. His exhaustion was unmistakable. His hair was messier than usual, not gelled back.
You sat there quietly observing the boy you had come to love so much.
Suddenly, the door to the room opened, and you turned your head to see Hotch step in. His usual stern expression softened when his eyes met yours, and for the briefest of moments, you could see the relief in his gaze.
âHi, Hotch,â you mumbled weakly, offering a small, tired smile.
Hotch stepped further into the room, taking in your condition. "How are you doing?" His voice was softer than usual, an underlying concern lacing his words as he slowly closed the door behind him.
"My head is killing me," you replied, your voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. Your hand instinctively went to your temple, massaging it gently, but it did little to alleviate the pain.
Hotch nodded understandingly. He glanced at Spencer briefly, noting the way he hadnât moved a muscle.
Hotchâs eyes lingered on Spencer for a moment longer than necessary, and you couldnât help but wonder if he knew more than he was letting on.
It wouldnât surprise you; Hotch was perceptive in ways no one else was, and your relationship with Spencer hadnât exactly been subtle all the time.
He cleared his throat before speaking again. "We got him," Hotch said. "The unsub... he's in custody."
You closed your eyes for a moment, letting out a shaky breath. The news felt like a balm to your soul.
Youâd been terrified that the danger hadnât truly passed, that the man who had done this to you would still be out there, free to hurt others. But now, you could finally breathe.
He was behind bars, where he belonged.
"Thank you," you whispered, your body finally relaxing a little, your tension ebbing away with the knowledge that the man behind your nightmare was locked away.
Hotchâs gaze softened, though his face remained stoic as always. âHe was worried sick,â Hotch said, nodding toward Spencer. âHe didnât sleep. He was looking for you the entire time.â
Your heart fluttered in your chest, your breath catching as you shifted your gaze from Hotch back to Spencer.
You could see the toll the search had taken on him. You fought the urge to reach for him, to run your fingers through his hair and wake him up just so you could see his face, to remind yourself that he was real, that he was here.
The face that had been your lifeline during the long days of captivity. It was that face, the one youâd thought of in the darkest moments, that had kept you sane.
Hotch seemed to notice the way your gaze lingered on Spencer, and for a moment, his usually unreadable face softened.
He didnât say anything, but you could tell that he knew.
Spencer stirred slightly in his sleep, making a soft sound as he shifted. His body tensed before relaxing, the quiet movements of someone who was waking from exhaustion.
Hotch glanced down at Spencer, then back at you.He gave your arm a gentle squeezeâone that was light enough to not cause you any painâand you looked at him.
âIâm glad youâre okay,â Hotch said quietly. He gave you a small nod before stepping back.âThanks, Hotch,â you mumbled, your voice still weak, but filled with genuine gratitude.
The door clicked softly behind him.As if on cue, Spencer slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times as the light seemed to hurt him.
His eyes immediately locked onto yours, and in that instant, you saw everythingâthe relief, the exhaustion, the quiet joy of seeing you alive.
âYouâre awake,â he whispered, his voice barely above a breath, as if he didnât quite believe it himself.
His eyes searched your face, his expression tightening as he took in every little detail.
Spencer never liked to admit his feelings. He never said the words, but you felt them in the way his eyes lingered on you, in the way he never once left your side.
You knew what was hidden beneath the surface, even if the world didnât.
"Hi," you mumbled back, trying to offer him a small, weak smile. The effort was exhausting, but you didnât want him to see just how badly you were hurting.
As you shifted to sit up a bit, the sharp pain in your head and limbs made itself known, and you couldnât stop the soft groan that slipped from your lips.
Without a second thought, Spencer stood up from his seat, stepping closer to your bed, but he didnât reach for you immediately.
"How are you feeling?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper, cracking slightly. His eyes scanned over youâlingering on the bruises and cuts that were on your skin.
His breath caught in his throat as his gaze flickered from the fresh marks on your body to your face, and for a split second, it seemed like he couldnât look at you without some part of him breaking.
"Iâll be fine," you said, your voice strained as you did your best to sound convincing, but the words didnât do much to reassure him.
You could see it in the way he flinched, his hand immediately running through his hairâtrying to distract himself from how visibly shaken he was by the sight of you in pain.
Spencer Reid, who always had an answer for everything, who always had control, was falling apart.
He leaned forward slightly, as if wanting to touch you but unsure if he should.
âSpence,â you whispered, your voice quiet but filled with reassurance. âItâs okay. Iâm okay.â
But Spencerâs gaze remained on you, his body tense, and his hands flexed, still not knowing where to go. His lips parted again, as though to say something, but it came out only as a soft breath.
His fingers hovered near your arm but didnât touch.
It was like he was afraid of hurting you more. You could see the guilt gnawing at him. It was written all over his face.
âIâm sorry,â he finally said, his voice barely audible. âI shouldâve been there. I shouldâveâ" His words faltered, and he cut himself off.
"Spence," you said slowly, your voice soft but insistent. You reached out and grabbed his hand, your fingers curling around his gently.
His grip tightened around your hand, but it felt shaky. The words suddenly spilled out.
âIâm sorry, I shouldâve known. I shouldâve known you could be in danger and Iââ His voice cracked, and the rest of the sentence died in his throat. His breath hitched, and it was clear he was trying to hold back tears.
But they came anyway, pooling in his eyes, spilling over and leaving tracks down his pale face.
Your heart clenched at the sight of himâthis was the man who had stayed by your side, refused to leave even when his mind told him he couldnât handle it anymore.
The man who, despite everything, was still so gentle with you, so protective, and yet, here he was, blaming himself for things beyond his control.
"Spencer, stop," you said softly, your voice full of concern for him âPlease, stop.â
His eyes remained downcast, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I should have," he murmured under his breath, barely loud enough for you to catch.
His voice trembled, breaking on the words. "I shouldâve been more careful. I shouldâve made sure you were safe. You're hurt... you're in the hospital because of me."
Your heart broke all over again. He always did this to himself, carried the weight of everyone elseâs pain as if it were his own.
"No, no," you whispered urgently, doing your best to push through the lingering pain in your head as you squeezed his hand tighter.
The effort sent a sharp pulse through your skull, but you forced yourself to focus, to hold on to him. "Spence, it wasnât your fault. Don't ever think that," you said firmly, your voice filled with all the care and strength you had left.
"Listen to me," you continued, the words coming from the depths of your soul. "You did everything you could. You were there. You found me. You're the reason I'm alive, Spencer. If anyone should be sorry, itâs the man who did this to me, not you." Your words were soft.
Spencerâs breath hitched again, his face contorting. He looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him together.
You took a slow, steady breath, forcing yourself to speak through the exhaustion. "Youâre not the reason Iâm here, Spence," you said, your voice full of the truth you wished he could feel deep inside himself. "Youâre the reason Iâm going to be okay. You always are."
Your words seemed to reach him, just enough to keep him from falling apart completely.
"Promise me something," you said, your voice soft but unwavering. "Promise me youâll stop blaming yourself. Itâs not on you. It never was."
He nodded slowly, his hand tightening around yours in return.
âI promise,â he whispered, though it felt like he was still trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
"Come here," you said softly.
Without a second thought, Spencer leaned forward, his body folding into yours as he gently buried his face in the crook of your neck, his arms sliding around you with a tenderness that made your heart ache.
His breath hitched as he adjusted, trying his best not to press too hard, too recklessly, worried about hurting you. His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer as though he couldnât bear to let go.
When he finally pulled back, there was a small smile on his face that wasnât there before.
You smiled gently, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from his face, your fingers lingering on his skin.
"Iâm okay," you whispered, your voice tender, just for him. "Iâm really okay, Spence."
He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, lingering for just a second longer than usual, before pulling back with a contented sigh. "Iâm so glad youâre here" he murmured.
You squeezed his hand tightly, smiling at him.
He pulled the chair closer to your bed, never letting go of your hand, settling into it with a deep breath. He was still physically exhausted, emotionally drained, but he didnât care.
All that mattered was that you were here.
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