#no idea what 12yo look like

[anaugust]

"Mom?"

12yo Anders being taken to the Circle for the first time. I just have a lot of thoughts about young Anders.

I have no idea if we have any canon art of Ander's pillow because when I was looking for it I... well, I did find Pillow Anders, just not Ander's pillow.

[httpsdana]

heyyy

i saw your last post and i have an idea, what about the reader having a bad past with birthdays and she didn't have birthdays since 12yo ( or anything anyway :))) ) then pablo will do to her a birthday surprise after he knew it...

20 Presents for 20th Birthday~Pablo Gavi

*Pictures are from Pinterest*

this was actually so cute to write I hope you enjoy <3

request from here

master list

players/drivers I write for

Birthdays were never y/n's favorite events. Especially not her own birthday. She hadn't celebrated her birthday since she was 12. Her parents always celebrated her birthday, until her father died, and her mother never spoke to her after that, never even telling her happy birthday.

So ever since she turned 12,she had lived with her aunt, who also made sure to not celebrate her niece's birthday.

After Pablo found out about her bad experience with birthdays, he wanted to make sure her 20th birthday is one to remember.

y/n woke up in the morning, remembering that she had turned 20. As usual, she didn't expect anyone to remember her birthday. She opened her phone, only for the messages to come flooding. She was surprised, but smiled at the thoughtfulness of Gavi's friends, who are her only friends

Pedri : happy birthday y/n! have an amazing day 💖

Fermin: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL SIS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DAY 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Lamine Yamal: happy birthday mom 🫶🏼

Alejandro Balde: happy birthday little one! enjoy your day to the max 🥳

Aurora💋: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL. I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN ❤️😍 MOM AND DAD SAY HI 😁

She felt her eyes tearing up at the sweet messages from her friends. They already made her day better when she was in a gloomy mood at the thought of that day. That's when she came across the message that made her cry.

Pablito❤️: happy birthday to my sweet beautiful girlfriend. I'm gonna make sure you have the best day ever. I love you so so so much baby. now get ready to receive your 20 gifts for your 20th birthday ❤️❤️

She replied to all the messages, smiling gratefully at the friends she has gained because of her boyfriend. After that, she got up and entered the bathroom pf her bedroom. She was met with a sticky note on her mirror.

Your skin deserves as much love and care as you give to everyone around you. I hope this helps keep your glow as radiant as your smile.

She smiled, looking at the cute box that was on the bathroom counter. She opened it and saw all the skin care products that were there. All the expensive things she had put on her wishlist previously.

After doing her skin care routine, she changed out of her PJs and left to the kitchen.

A chocolate box was waiting for her on the kitchen counter. She smiled as she read the note on it.

Each piece in this box is as rich and delightful as the moments we share. I hope you enjoy every bite my love

She felt herself blushing at his sweetness, opening the box to see all the cute chocolate bites that were there. She ate a few pieces as she drank her coffee and wondered what Pablo had also planned out. She still couldn't believe he got her 20 gifts.

She walked to the living room to continue her tour around the house, and was met with a brand new stylish handbag on the coffee table. She admired the bag, then opened it to see it's inside, only to notice a designer perfume inside, a luxury fragrance she's been wanting. With also another note.

Just like this bag carries all your essentials, may this perfume add a touch of elegance to your every day. Enjoy both as a little reminder of how much you mean to me.

She shook her head with a smile, already feeling bad and how much all this must've costed him.

y/n thought that maybe the gifts in her apartment were over, only for her to receive a message from Pablo.

Pablito❤️: you've got a few more gifts at your apartment, before Pedri picks you up for your next destination

She smiled at the message replying with a thank you for everything he had gotten her and saying he didn't have to. She went to her closet to get ready. She didn't know what to wear, but when she opened the closet, she was met with the new barca jersey, the number 6 on the back and her name printed out on the top.

Wear this jersey with pride and remember that I'm always cheering you on, no matter where you go. Can't wait to see you in it.

She grinned happily, admiring the beautiful jersey in front on her. She was always a barca fan, so receiving a jersey that has her name and Pablo's number meant the world to her.

She paired the jersey up with some wide jeans. After getting ready, she received a message from Pedri saying that he's gonna be outside her door in a few minutes.

As she was putting on her choose, something on the small table, where they put their keys, caught her attention.

Her jaw dropped when she saw the polaroid camera there, also with a note.

Capture every special moment of this day with this camera and let each photo be a snapshot of our beautiful memories together.

She beamed at the sweet message, putting the camera in her bag and heading out. She saw Pedri in his car there, a smile on his face.

She got in the car next to him and he greeted her.

"hey you. happy birthday" he said sweetly, making her smile

"thank you Pedri. now where are we going?" she asked, putting on her seatbelt.

"we are going to the stadium now" he said, starting the car.

"oh and before we move, make sure to wear these sunglasses so the sun doesn't burn your eyes" Pedri gave her a small bag.

She opened it, seeing the beautiful sunglasses inside. She smiled and put them on, before Pedri started his drive.

The drive was silent, and when they arrived y/n was about to open the door, before Pedri stopped her.

He gave her a small paper, and when she looked at it she saw that it was a voucher, for her favorite spa.

"make sure to enjoy your day at the spa whenever you want. it's available for the next two weeks" he smile.

"thank you Pedri" she said genuinely making him smile

"it's not me who you should thank. plus it's your birthday. now go don't be late" he ushered her out of his car.

She got out of the car and made her way inside the stadium.

As she started her walk, one of the staff member came by her side. She gave her a big bouquet of roses, her favorite flowers, and told her to follow her.

She walked behind her, the bouquet still in her hand. At the beginning of the hallway, she was met by Lamine.

"y/n! happy birthday" he exclaimed, giving her a small hug.

"thank you son" she joked, making him laugh.

Suddenly, he pulled a small bag from behind him, giving it to y/n

"from gavi" he said. She smiled gratefully, handing him the bouquet so she can open it.

She saw a box in the bag, seemingly a jewelry box. She opened it, and was met with some of her all time favorite lyrics.

I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck not because he owns me, but cause he really knows me

She giggled silently, removing the paper, and seeing the gorgeous gold necklace, that had the letter P on it.

Lamine helped her put her necklace on, before handing her the bouquet. She continued her walk with the staff member.

Until she was then met by Fermin.

"here's the birthday girl. how has your day been?" he asked, giving her a hug.

"it's been amazing." she answered.

He also pulled a back from behind him, giving it to y/n. She opened the box inside, and saw a gorgeous bracelet. It had her initial on it, but when she looked at the back of it, she noticed the date of hers and Pablo's anniversary on the back.

"that's adorable" she mumbled, putting the gold bracelet on.

"you gotta go now. I'll see you tonight" Fermin waved at her, before leaving her and the staff

tonight? that's weird

They walked more down the hallway, and finally they reached the pitch. The staff told y/n to walk a bit and she'll know what to do next.

y/n walked alone on the pitch, until she saw a familiar figure standing there. When she noticed it was Pablo, she placed the bouquet on the grass and ran into his arms.

She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, while he lifted her of the ground by hugging her waist.

"I love you so much" she mumbled into his neck. He placed her down on the floor, holding her face in his hands

"did you like my gifts?" he asked softly, his voice holding adoration and love

"like them? I loved them Pablo. you shouldn't have done all that" she said, feeling guilty once again about the money he spent

He shook his head nonchalantly.

"don't be silly. that's the least I could do to make up all the birthdays of the past." he said, making her smile.

She leaned in and connected their lips into a passionate kiss, that they only pulled away from when they needed some air.

"come on you still have, how many gifts? nine?" he said, making her laugh

"20 gifts is a lot Gavi. you really shouldn't have" she said, making him sigh.

"just shut up. if it makes you better, I didn't pay for all of them yet" he said, making her confused.

"well I haven't payed for the restaurant we're having dinner at tomorrow. I haven't booked our trip to Greece yet. Also we haven't gotten our outfits for the Taylor Swift concert in Miami-" he was interrupted by her squeal

"we're gonna see Taylor Swift?!" she almost screamed making him laugh

"yes we are" he nodded, making her jump again into his arms

"I love you so so so much" she said quickly, while he kissed her temple

"I love you more, now come on we have to go shopping for your birthday party tonight" he said.

[linnoya-writes]

Zutara secret scientists “The Bridges of Madison County” canon compliant AU (Rated R)

Katara married Aang and Zuko married Mai. The time Zuko and Katara get to spend together as friends is limited by all of their duty to their partner and their country. 

Zuko would look at Mai and sometimes admire her kind of devotion, sometimes feel sorry for her, knowing she loved a man so much she was willing to birth him a child and endure this regal, frivolous and boring life for him.

Aang is off in the temples with young 12yo Tenzin for most of the year. Kya’s 14yo tomboyish rebelliousness and apathy towards water-bending mastery is pushing Katara to the edge of her sanity with how much she reminds her of a certain snarky Earthbender, and so Hakoda’s agreed to take her to get some grandpa time in the SWT. Bumi is 19 and has been long gone for years, freshly graduated from Republic City’s naval academy and now off to basic training with Zuko’s naval fleet of the united Forces, and even though she misses that goofy-but-sensitive little non-bender, the kid who clung to her skirts and sought attention when Aang started flying off with Tenzin on those cultural excursions… Katara is glad that Bumi’s dependence on Mom has lessened over time… how military school has pushed him to clean his own room and wash his own clothes for once. 

For the first time, Katara feels like an empty nester, her only company being the air acolytes and attendants who keep Air Temple Island in good maintenance.  She spends her days visiting her healing clinics in Republic City, being stopped occasionally by a local for either a thank-you regarding her work services, or to express some city-related concern to relay back to the Avatar when he returns. More often than not, it’s the latter... and Katara has mastered a very specific, very polite smile for those moments.  She spends her days handling Aang’s correspondence, writing on behalf of him since his own scribe follows the Avatar everywhere and this task has helped her feel close to her husband when they’re apart.  She’s already learned to differentiate the mail that exudes serious business matters over the ones that are glorified love-letters dressed as serious business matters for the young, attractive Messiah of their world.  Those pinches of jealousy she first felt when reading these letters had long left her system, now replaced by little eye-rolls of amusement and weighed sighs of deep, deep sympathy.  Nevermind that this Messiah has been married for almost twenty years, with three children… yet Katara can’t blame them.

She knows what it’s like, to idolize something for such a long time that it becomes impossible to let go… or perhaps how, after so many years eclipsing the person behind the idea, letting go no longer feels like an option. 

She takes her meals alone, in the second floor balcony overlooking Republic City and reflects on her work, how she has become a renowned Healer, and gives herself the space and time to read the newest letter with the Fire Lord’s seal.  It’s correspondence that has arrived the last few years-- ever since they last reconnected in Republic City for the global peace summit, when Katara had stood aside when the council debated about the rise of bloodbending in the city. When the time came for Avatar Aang to announce the vote to outlaw it, Master Katara quietly rose her hand.  Zuko saw her removed face that came with that hand—  Aang did not. 

And during council recess, it was Zuko who approached her about the vote, and she confessed how this had been a long-pressing debate at home as much as in the city— Aang had every reason to want to outlaw it.  And when Zuko asks her if there were any potential reason to keep it, Katara’s eyes lit up… thinking about her healing him in the Agni Kai again Azula… that maybe there was a way to combine bloodbending with surgical techniques for healing.

She talks about this to Zuko, as if it had been in her mind for years and years. 

Zuko promises to help her in the effort, and so their correspondence began… trying to find various healing techniques that combined sophisticated efforts in the Fire Nation, the traditional holistic methods of Southern Water Tribe and the complex, controversial bloodbending to practice in Republic City.  They look at the possibility of invasive surgery methods with some kind of anesthesia … introducing bloodbending as long as it’s not hurtful and as long as patients can give consent to it.  All they need is herbal medicines to numb patients enough so as to not feel any pain.   

They talk about this for years, while bloodbending remains illegal and yet rampant in Republic City… and Aang notices the fire in Katara’s eyes at dinner, when she brings up her research on unconventional healing. She almost gives Sokka’s scientific brain a run for the money. 

In their letters, Zuko and Katara become partners in this research… and despite the correspondence being strictly professional, it becomes something of a refuge for the two friends… a little beating heart that keeps them sane from the everyday political, emotionally invisible parts of their lives.  They never talked about their growing children, or the rust taking shape in their respective marriages… they know better than to be so indiscreet in a written document. 

In his most recent letter, Fire Lord Zuko announces that his Minister of Agriculture is planning a summer research trip on the cultivation of holistic herbs in this small island of Hivaleya… and not only has funding been approved for it but there is an opening for a healing expert to assist with the project.  Without saying it, Katara can hear her friend inviting her to apply for the project that summer to the remote island, and... also without saying it… she has a feeling her friend would find his way there, too... even for a small time. 

It’s Zuko, after all. 

Her heart beats like thunder, and she has no idea if it’s good or bad.

At least, not yet.

Katara arrives to the island at the start of summer, leaving Republic City in good hands with Toph and Sokka and Suki, if only they knew. 

Zuko does shows up the following week after Katara's arrival, on a riveting Fire Nation cruiser with a small staff of attendants. When Zuko bows to her like a friend, she brings her arms to him tightly like a best friend… and he returns the favor. 

They spend an entire day on the island at work along other scientists, planting and testing out leaves of herbs with a local tree oil and getting closer and closer to a formula for anesthesia, which would be a breakthrough for surgical procedures.  They almost don't notice that it gets dark. When the attendants escort the Fire Lord to his assigned cabin, Zuko dismisses them, and he and Katara work through the night.

They barely get through any sleep as they work, talking and catching up… nothing but their most relaxed selves easing any tension. When Katara leans her laughing self to her best friend's frame, and looks up at him, she doesn't see the age lines of his brow or the peppering grays of hair covering his grin. It's like Zuko is once again the serious, stern boy she had taunted at the Western Air Temple. The golden sunrise of his eyes have returned, and Zuko says nothing but is only looking at her, carefully. Cautiously. And the two friends realize how, perhaps, underneath all of their professional, platonic demeanor since Azula’s Agni Kai… were feelings that never came to pass. 

It’s Katara who brings a gentle hand to Zuko’s face… the memories of a crystal-lit underground in Ba Sing Se returning to them mutually.  Their bodies tense up, but then they hear themselves breathing quietly, relaxing all the apprehension away…. And their present life— their research, their families, their duty, all honor as they know it— completely fades into the distance. 

It’s Zuko who then bravely leans into Katara, and she meets him... a kind of gravity they’d never experienced before. They kiss awkwardly… and then again, softly. And gently. And sweetly.  

They rediscover how to kiss as they hold each other, protectively, while the bonfire runs its course. In the dead of night, among the noise of so much unfamiliar wildlife... Katara invites Zuko to her designated cabin in the woods… and they remain there, discovering their bodies and fulfilling wishes their minds had entirely abandoned but their hearts had secretly kept safe.

When they kiss, it’s quiet; when they move… it’s gentle and giving, loud and reassuring, and oh, so sweet.  They can hear the tropical birds beginning to chirp outside as they stir awake, gloriously naked and in each others’ arms… the two of them living a selfish yet beautiful present, for once.  They quietly agree to get up before the research staffers arrive back to work, but neither Zuko nor Katara move from the bed but instead look over to the sunrise… a sun greeting an ocean. They smile lazily as they rest, as if they’d rested this way with each other forever. 

They make every second count during those remaining days, trying to focus on the work without stealing any smiles or glances or soft grazes of a hand.  They wait until all the staff have left for the night -all of them oblivious to what two middle-aged adult friends might be up to- to continue their precious little time together. 

Zuko watches Katara waterbend on the beach and invites himself to spar, already knowing he’s at a disadvantage but not caring about that at all.  When they chase each other along the beach at sunset, they look like restless children in their silhouettes… laughing as they fall into a wrestling heap in the sand… the sun and the ocean bearing witness to all of it.  The king struggles a walk in the sand as he carries his queen to his own cabin that night, but they laugh and steal kisses along the way. 

The second night comes more slowly for them as they kiss and undress… reinacting things from the night before, but with less of an urgency to it. They take their time, gradually discovering what they like… a language made up not so much of words as it is with touch, and eyes, and breath.  Zuko awakes with the sun, and when he passes the soft ridges of a wildflower along Katara’s back, she stirs her eyes open with a smile.

“Did I disrupt your dream?” he rasps.

She glances at him sweetly. “No.”

Zuko grins, and as the flower continues to graze her back, Katara can’t remember if she’d ever experienced playfulness like that before— not even from Aang. 

When Katara leans over to Zuko for their lips to touch… and touch, and touch and touch as a ‘thank you’, Zuko can’t remember if he’s ever experienced that kind of gentleness before… definitely not from Mai. 

It’s the third day that brings a hungry desperation back to them, forgetting themselves and moving through a sleepless night… biting, scratching and clutching... saying things they’d always meant to keep hidden in the deepest corners of their hearts.... recalling scars, and healing sessions, and council meetings, coronations, weddings, funerals, births.... things they had said in passing, recounting even the smallest details of what they were wearing… how a smile, or a laugh, or a single-met-glance had almost driven them mad, made them willing to risk it all for just one brush of their hand... and oh… declarations, loud enough for the stars to hear as they switch positions on Katara’s bed while barely breaking apart and moving some more… yet remaining together, moving feverishly as a unit in all of this unbelievable need. 

This feels right, their eyes say. This was what had always been meant to be.

Him, and her.  

They hold each other as they finally rest, Katara pressing her mouth to his shoulder… kissing everywhere she can to make him feel at home, and whole.  Zuko hums.

As loud as they had been all that night, the handful of words they exchange next come barely as whispers, caressing their closest arms for comfort. Zuko breaks the long silence.

“I’m sorry.”

“No. I wanted this.”

“Katara—“

“And if a baby happens, I’ll... take it.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes. Do you want a baby with me?” 

Zuko tears up. “I—I always have. I just couldn’t—“

“I know." Katara can only look away, ashamed. "Me too.”

“I wanted a life with you.”

Katara nods in agreement, tears down her cheeks, her body shaking.

 “But if all we can have is a child, I’ll fight for that." Zuko presses his forehead to hers. "I won’t run.”

“I know you won’t.”

And they kiss, with a newfound bravery underneath a careful sense of fear of what might occur. 

And yet… in their kisses, their exhausted and aged bodies… and in the tears that they wipe gently from their respective eyes, Zuko and Katara can already feel that a child will never come.

They know it without even exchanging any words about it. 

They know their story is not meant to leave the island, but still… they remain in that peace for the rest of those days, avoiding every angle of their harsh reality, and then wish each other well... and promise to stay in touch. 

On their final morning together, they take separate baths.  

When Zuko returns to the palace… Mai is there, sitting in the grand study reading as if she’d been on the same page for decades.  She obediently stands in the Fire Lord’s presence, but doesn’t go to Zuko because he asks, “Was there anything pressing that occurred while I was gone?” 

In an instant, she knows… but it seems her body had known for a much longer time by the way Mai feels her bones going heavy, her frame stiffening, her breath holding back. 

Mai smiles, but only with her mouth— it was easier that way.  “No— nothing.” And so it goes, for the rest of their life. 

Mai never mentions the way his eyes would light up at breakfast, whenever he got business correspondence from Air Temple Island with a Watertribe symbol on the wax seal.  Mai doesn’t mention it because she doesn’t let him go; she keeps Zuko for herself, even when his little smiles to her cease to exist, when he no longer pays a late-night visit to her bedchambers… when she, one night, is greeted in utter humiliation to a locked door to his… she loves him so much, she is willing to put up with all of it. 

Aang, on the other side of the world, lives his days obliviously to what is on Katara’s mind.  She serves him, as she always has, and doesn’t put up a fight for the things he wants… but his visions betray him.  The doubt creeps in like a poisonous rat-viper, but Aang doesn’t approach Katara about it— it’s not his nature to accuse. 

And anyway, she’s still with him; that has to count for something. 

But when they make love, not even the Great Bridge, the divine medium between both worlds could keep away the golden hues of the mere mortal king who consumed the waterbender’s thoughts… despite this king living a continent away.  In her sleep, Katara would mumble a name that wasn’t his… and Aang thought it to be his mind playing cruel tricks on him.  Aang never questioned his wife’s devotion, because she was always there, loving the Avatar. 

And even when her gaze would fall past him, Aang questioned nothing.  It was easier, this way.

Decades later, when Mai passes away... Zuko mourns alone in white to a woman who relentlessly stayed true to her love. He does not write Katara about the news, as this news must have already reached Air Temple Island.

There is a part of Katara who quietly, selfishly craves to go to her old friend when no one is looking. There’s a wince of her once-bold self that she sees, already packing her bags and sneaking out of the temple, taking the first boat towards the Fire Nation Capital.

But she doesn’t. 

Instead she writes to Zuko with tears in her eyes… “Fire Lord Zuko, I’m so sorry for your loss, and I wish could be there to comfort you in this grief.  Let’s support each other with the happiness we have in this life.  I’ll be there for you in the next one.”  

Zuko reads this with tears in his eyes, more of hope than of loss.

A few years later, after Avatar Aang uses his final breaths to ask his wife to guide the next Avatar into this role, Katara does not refuse. 

For the rest of their lives, Master Katara and Fire Lord Zuko serve the Avatar as allies... the yet the two friends remain at arms length through their letters regarding the progress of the first invasive surgical clinic at Republic City. 

The project is the closest thing that Katara and Zuko would ever make together, found by courage and dedication… a project that would outlive any child they may have ever had.

Decades later, when their times finally come, only a few days of each other… Bumi and Kya and Tenzin open the letter their mother had left them for her final burial wishes.

Izumi realizes that her father had written a similar letter to her, too

The letters were asking to let his ashes rest not in the fire tombs of the ancient lords, or hers in the deep crevices of the southern water tribe… but instead to be poured together onto the shores of this tiny, practically uncharted island called Hivaleya.

The children look at each other... puzzled from this news. Confused by the cryptic request. Angry from the implications of it… and sad, all the same.

It’s their children who light the candles and pour their remains, praying and hoping that their parents find each other in the afterlife.

[guardianspirits13]

Ok now for a list of things that I'm kind of iffy about or wish they had kept from the books. It's worth noting that I can't think of a single show exclusive scene they added that I did not like, and most of the changes were integrated flawlessly.

Starting out, the pacing. I'm hoping this gets better with time, especially given that the second episode has much more time to breathe. The whole first episode felt a little cramped, and some of the exposition felt a bit... exposition-y. I don' t think there is much they could have done to get around this though so I'm not gonna dwell on it.

As a fan of the series, I love how they introduced the structure and function of the PJO world with the intro, but I think the jump from "Percy sees things" to "everything is all real" felt a bit abrupt. I am curious what first time fans think about this, and again the first episode covers a lot more ground page-wise than ep 2.

Manchild Gabe... I am not sure how I feel about this. In the books he seemed downright threatening and even with Percy's 12yo bravado, he was still an intimidating figure. His bickering with Sally seemed more like your typical dysfunctional relationship than a power imbalance... both can be harmful in their own way, but I'm still undecided on how much giving Sally a bit more agency in her relationship with him effects the larger story. The whole "not all monsters look like monsters" thing works well in the books with Gabe, but I guess they were redirecting it to foreshadow Luke's betrayal? I'm not sure.

...which brings me to Sally. I was unsure about the casting, but she has earned her stay to me. I always imagined her as a bit more subdued, especially with the more intense iterations of Gabe. She's kind and gentle and has a rebellious streak, but as worried as she might be for Percy she hides it inside of herself. I think her being a bit more expressive as a character works in this setting though, especially since we aren't seeing her through Percy's kid colored lenses. She feels a bit less like the perfect, kind, and understanding mother Percy sees, and a bit more like a real-life single mother trying to keep some of that childhood wonder alive despite everything. She does seem younger than I would have expected, but that's a nitpick on my end. I think she is one character that I will always have a separate book/show counterpart for in my mind.

Ok. Now for Clarisse. Out of all the characters I was skeptic about, I think she's the only one who didn't win me over. This is a writing issue, nothing at all to do with the actress. She was characterized more as a 'queen bee' type mean girl than a bully who picks fights just to feel worthy of her father's approval. She would be better fit for a vindictive daughter of Aphrodite than a daughter of Ares. My mind might be changed in the future but we got most of her scenes in these first two episodes so I'm doubtful. The one moment that had potential was when Percy broke her spear, but the Clarisse I know would not back off just because there is an audience.

There was no hellhound... I was kinda looking forward to it, and it does emphasize that even camp isn't really safe for Percy and is a catalyst for both his quest and the idea that there is a traitor. I can kind of see why the cut it for thematic purposes so Percy feels safe for once in his life, but that's only if I squint.

The scene cuts. I know, I know they're supposed to mimic book chapters. I get it. But it just doesn't work for me, it feels like there's a lack of establishing shots and the black screen is long enough you think the tv is buffering. It's an interesting idea in concept, but the execution falls flat.

OH also as far as things that were missing- the 3 fates. I know this is in the show since it was in the trailers, but I'm curious as to where they're gonna put it now.

Anyways minor nitpicks aside these two episodes were an emotional roller coaster and absolute masterpieces of television cinema.

[leverage-ot3]

OKAY so I have two ideas about a leverage x pjo crossover and they hinge on whether or not the leverage crew are demigods are not. I also have a general one which is what this post is

leverage demigod/pjo au masterpost

I’m betting some (or all) of the leverage crew have complicated feelings about the demigod-godly parent relations. they hear through the grapevine that this 12yo has been accused of stealing zeus’ master bolt and that his mom has been kidnapped by hades and they’re like ABSOLUTELY NOT FUCK YOU

cue hijinks where the leverage crew is behind the scenes while annabeth, grover and percy are on the quest having the road trip from hell. except it’s not actually that bad??? whenever things look like they’re going to get REALLY bad something happens and the kids aren’t in a lot of danger anymore. annabeth is almost annoyed because she wants to prove her worth etc etc (love her dearly but she needs some rest (and therapy)), grover is overwhelmingly relieved, and percy is just hella confused but vibing and set on seeing his mom again

meanwhile eliot is fist fighting a minotaur and like five other monsters, sophie is seducing medusa (and it’s kind of working??? can’t blame her though sophie is a MILF), parker is planning a heist in the underworld, hardison is dusting off a pet project that’s a gadget that cloaks demigods from monster detection (good for everyone but perfect for percy), and nate is masterminding while also furiously planning a beat down speech for the big three

it’s possibility titled: the master bolt job

nate says let’s go steal a stolen master bolt or something like that

(parker: isn’t that defying the gods?

nate: we’re giving it back)

the journey ends with percy’s mom back safe and sound, nate yelling at the gods (but not before letting percy tear them a new one first. of course he lets the kid go first!!!), a new godly child support system, and camp half blood employing their first on-site therapist.

hardison teaches the hephaestus kids how to make tech that doesn’t attract monsters. eliot cooks the best dinner the camp has ever had (hestia who adores him maybe helped), the hermes kids are awed by parker (thee parker?!?). sophie instills the fear of god (woman) into mr d to treat the kids better and gives the oracle a spa day as a treat. nate helps chiron with training-life management for campers (he is NOT a role model for that but he knows what works. chiron is chuffed that this random dude is giving him advice but rolls with it because he’s a good sport)

aphrodite is enamored with the love parker, hardison and eliot have for each other. they don’t know it but she gave them her blessing 💖

[robinine-blog]

I'm having feelings over Trolls Band Together.

That movie has taken up refuge in my brain and I can't help but plotting, because I've already read all the sad brotherly feelings fics on AO3 and I have ideas, that I have no idea how to write

So plot bunny:

Branch gets hit by the Sap/pollen of a Forget-me-lots, takes one confused look at the Snack Pack, and runs off into the forest

Poppy panicks because oh no! Her boyfriend is going to lose all his memories if they don't fix this fast

Poppy and pack spends the morning trying to catch Branch, who keeps running away from them, and starts setting traps

Poppy gets the bright idea to use Floyd as Branch-bait... which works... until Branch escapes and troll-naps Floyd

Floyd gets carted around the forest by Branch, who keeps acting surprised that his brother is there, and won't let Floyd go or even shout or help because Branch knows he's being hunted and he's convinced the Burgens are going to get them.

Floyd is more worried that his baby bro is currently grey than the fact he's being carried around Pop forest by a paranoid brother.

Branch keeps referring to his notebook, gathering items, and muttering to himself

Branch tricks the Snack Pack so he can get back into his Bunker with Floyd, and after a little bit Branch goes Blue again and decides to eject Floyd from the bunker with the words he's sure Poppy will take care of him.

By this time, the rest of Branch's brothers have clued in something is wrong, even if Poppy is trying not to worry them.

So 2nd day and they're all trying to catch Branch. No luck catching him, but Branch's traps catch them out a few times and Branch always comes to check before wandering off again.

The brothers work out that Branch isn't losing his memory over time, he's switching between different points in his personal history, so one moment they might have 5yo Branch, then 25yo, then 12yo etc, because he keeps reacting to them differently: sometimes he is gushing because he's so excited they're back, sometimes he just so angry he's yelling at them, and usually it involves some form of "I haven't seen you for x years"

Branch also completely confuses anyone he talks to, because he doesn't know them but he seems to know too much.

3rd day, and Poppy's got the entire village involved. Massive campaign to catch Branch somehow, it's not like he can escape the whole village is it?

Branch turns up around sunset, streaming hot mug in hand, back to normal.

"What? You think I haven't been hit by Forget-me-lots before?"

All the different versions of Branch has been gathering, preparing and cooking the ingredients for the cure, and he's been avoiding them because he didn't trust anyone else to make it, with his trusty notebook telling him what stage he's at, and what's happened.

Cue a wtf

XD

[alpaca-clouds]

LGBTQ* Are Not Inherently Sexual

Yes, I am very much aware I am mostly preaching to the choir here. But let's face it: The sexualisation of LGBTQ* identities is the worst. And we see it so often.

Generally when media depicts queer relationships or trans characters, it will often just automatically get a higher rating, than the equivalent depiction of straight relationships - or cis characters just existing.

There is the general idea coming around, that children should be protected from queerness - just as there is a general idea around that children ought to be protected from sexual themes. I disagree with both, even though I know that thanks to purity culture a lot of people might actually agree with the second idea. But that is gonna be a topic for another day.

When it comes to queerness we have the general idea that somehow two boys kissing or two girls holding hands is somehow inherently more sexual than a boy and a girl doing the same. Which is why for so long media struggled with being even allowed to depict something like that. I mean, just look into the struggle that Alex Hirsch had in 2012 to get Gravity Falls to include just the slightest bit of queer representation. And while Steven Universe started in 2013, it was really that show and Legend of Korra, that finally switched the thing around allowing us to get queer representation in a lot more kids media.

And sure. I will at this point admit to something: Queer culture was always a lot more sex positive, than straight culture. Especially the gay scene was and still is associated with a lot more casual sex than what you expect among straight peers. It should be noted in this regard that this is way more associated with gay men, than lesbain women, though the reasons for this are also connected to both misogyny, the way women are in danger when in public spaces, and of course just the way girls get raised. But yes, as some people at a local queer meet-up have pointed out: Gay cruising is a thing, lesbian cruising really isn't.

But boys kissing or holding sex on screen does not equal cruising, nor does it imply cruising - especially not to a kid watching the show. Like, let me stick to Gravity Falls: The fact that the two cops are gay will not get any kids going: "Hmm, I do wonder whether Gravity Falls, Oregon has some cruising spaces?!"

And this sexualisation goes further of course. Because a lot of people who are at least okay with straight sex ed in school will still make a big drama out of teachers trying to teach 12yos about safe sex for queer kids. Because they clearly do want their kids to get STDs, I assume. *eye roll*

But it is bullshit, right? Like, sex is sex. Educating kids about sex will not make them want it. Goes for straight sex, goes for queer sex. But the queer sex is not inherently more SEX than straight sexi s.

And... It is just bullshit queerphobia that goes with this. And it is sex negative. It is bloody horrible.

[ddlcbrainrot]

What’s the first piece of fanart you ever made? If you do not want to show it, that’s fine. Just a fun little thing :P

so this ask sent me down a rabbit hole bc i distinctly remember the first ddlc fanart i made which was just a drawing of the natsuki chibi. i remember this so well bc i had actually posted it on my amino account on the ddlc community (dont shame 12yo me ok? having an amino account back then was like a canon event)

so anyway, after i searched my entire room to find the actual drawing and ended up with nothing, bc middle school me had a tendency to throw away old drawings i thought were so bad it would bring shame on my bloodline (which is also why i can't find any of the first digital drawings i made, i used to delete them after a month), i decided to search my amino account. problem is i dont remember what 12yo me put as a password and the app doesn't let me reset it for some reason. thats okay, I'll just make a new account, find my old one and boom! problem solved!

after 20 minutes of searching my old account bc there were like a million other accounts with the same name, i found it. and there were no posts for some reason. so, either i needed to re-join the amino ddlc community and maybe then it'd show it to me, or i had deleted it from my account (which is the most likely scenario)

so yeah idk how to find it which sucks. kids, take this as a lesson : never throw away stuff no matter how bad they are bc one day the nostalgia alone will make them sentimental

BUT! to give u an idea of what my art looked like at the time, i found the first drawing i ever did in which i actually sat down with the mindset of : i want to draw something

its not anyone in particular, and honestly it kind of sucks ass, but at the time i really liked it and it made me keep drawing. so hooray for that!! after like a few months of drawing i felt like throwing this one away too, but since it was the first one ever i didnt, and im glad. kinda wish i didnt throw anything away, but what can you do

[starrypawu]

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!! I repeatedly saw your incredible artwork show up when I searched for AvA/AvM stuff, so I decided to check your acc and fell in LOVEE-

HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT DRAWING WHA

dudeee I wish I could do this

I can sorta draw but definitely not tHIS GOOD-

ahem anyway the question-

have you written anything on your vigilante AU? if so where can I find it?

I'm also writing a criminal AU and any ideas/general tips would be appreciated

(also if your writing is as good as your art I MUST SEE IT-)

HI TYSM!!!<33 and oh boy okay look i have MASSIVE amounts of respect for authors bc i myself suck at writing- like i genuinely wish i could be as good at writing as i am at drawing but they r very much different skillsets and i put all my skill points into the latter 😭 so i dont have like a fic or anything- currently im just trying to draw a comic!

though i do have like the general story of my au written down but its definetely nothing to show or marvel at jdkfkfkfkdn

umum and tips/ideas ummmm have like a skeleton of ur story before u start............... yeah ! JDKDKLDJS IM SORRY i am the wrong person to ask abt this- i barely know what im doing with my au and i write like a 12yo writing their first fanfic jskdldldks look the best tip i can give you is have fun !!!

[nicomrade]

On being lost in the Labyrinth; a Souichi Kiruma and Kaoru Yukiide joint analysis.

I've been wanting to write about Souichi for a while now, but Usogui is BIG and DENSE and goes a LOT of places and Souichi (/Hachina Naoki/Hal) has unstable memory and his role in the story varies a lot (sometimes antagonist, deuteragonist, love interest, side-kick, … ) so... To properly talk about this in one coherent, whole way I had to limit my scope by A LOT so I'm going to look at Souichi through the lense of Kaoru Yukiide, the ways they mirror each other, where they differ and what it means for the broader themes of both Souichi's story and Usogui (manga) in general. And try my hardest to stay on topic.

The full piece turned out almost 7k words long so join me for a bit of a journey under the cut! I included as many images as tumblr allowed me to and it's sectioned in 6 parts including the short prologue so it's hopefully not too hard of a read. Cheers! 🐜🐝

0. Prologue

Kaoru Yukiide is a minor antagonist for the 1st part of the Labyrinth gamble (chapters 83 to 104) of Usogui. His active participation feels almost cut abruptly short but this is indicative of the kind of character he is. He’s no Sadakuni and no Vincent Lalo, he’s just Yukkii. But in those 20 chapters he’s given a full inner world and a full character arc. He is a complete character.

He was diagnosed at 12yo with Encephalitis lethargica (“sleepy sickness”) and at 15 he went into a coma. He’s the son of a police official involved in framing innocent people for crimes the wealthy committed, all for the sake of “keeping order”. His father framed his own wife in one of these schemes, and eventually took the blame for a higher-up’s crime himself. This is a duty and fate Kaoru inherited after waking up from his 10 years coma. He’s now the one who frames innocent people and he, too, will shoulder a death penalty for something he didn’t do. This catastrophic loss to Baku not only condemns his life it also made him realize how twisted his actions and his idea of order have been and it triggers another catatonic episode in him. He’s a character who’s been deeply hurt by following along with what his parents taught him was right without questioning it, and when this worldview crumbles, so does he. But his epilogue in chapter 147 is a happy one! Kaoru wakes up, and yes he now has to come to terms with all the harm he’s done and he feels like it would’ve been better if he’d stayed functionally dead, but he has people who care about him and who will help him. You are never truly alone, things can always get better, you CAN break free from your family’s Labyrinth.

I think Kaoru’s generally an easy character to find hope in- as someone who caused immense harm, but who was still a victim of his circumstances and got to have a second chance at life. In-story we have Marco who comments on the two of them being the same and a lot of what I will discuss here will apply in some measure to him too as a mentally ill character with an abusive dad. However, I find he has striking similarities with Souichi’s story specifically, and looking at the two together can help us shine a light on the complicated fate at the heart of Souichi’s character. I realize by using Kaoru as a tool to talk about someone else- a means to an end and not his own person- I’m perpetuating the very workings of his abuse. I’m sorry Yukkii :(

I. Inheritance

Souichi and Kaoru are both successors to their fathers and they were raised to follow in those footsteps. Souichi, as a Kiruma, is a member of a “sinful bloodline” and was always going to be 21st Leader of Kakerou. His dad raised him this way and put him under Eba’s guidance all so he could stand at the top of Kakerou- the ones who make sure the rules are obeyed perfectly.

[1. Vol 37 Ch. 404 Duwang translation 2. Vol. 9 Ch. 93 Easy Going Scans translation]

Kaoru was not strictly raised as a successor in this way but he inherited this vision of order from his dad, one where the ants that step out of line must be killed. Both him and Souichi are sons who took on that very heavy duty to “keep order” after their respective fathers, and they both became orphans from it. Kaoru’s mom was sacrificed by her husband, and then he sacrificed himself too, leaving Kaoru alone when he woke up at 25. Similarly, Souichi’s mom died before he was born and he will lose his father during the course of the story. He was orphaned, too.

This is not to imply that Tatsuki Kiruma (Souichi’s father) had a personality like Yukiide senior. Kaoru’s dad is characterized as borderline abusive, he is refused any real kind of redemption as we don’t even have a first name or a face to put on him during the Paper Labyrinth chapters. He is the shadow that haunts Kaoru, and he is talked about as the origin of this specific worldview. Tatsuki was an odd father but he was not responsible for his wife’s death and he, too, inherited this fate from his own parents. He is not the root cause of Souichi’s ill. Where Kaoru was lied to and manipulated into following in his father’s footsteps, Souichi became leader willingly. This is getting to the impact a heavy family history can have on someone (whether forced onto them or embraced by them) more than any one individual father’s harm.

The impact of that family history is shown in Kaoru with his sleepy sickness that makes him literally absent from his own life at times. It is a way for him to escape from the real world and the responsibilities and ideals pushed on him. I think it’s very meaningful that his big episode was triggered at 15, that’s right into his first year of highschool, soon an adult. And this mental harm is also seen in Souichi and his chronic memory loss. His own timeline is more vague than Kaoru’s but I think it’s fair to estimate Souichi was around 15 during the 1998 flashbacks, which is when he has a significant memory loss episode and also when he receives doctor feedback on this illness. It is first said to be without cause but later confirmed this is a way for him to remain “perfect” at all times, by throwing out the memory of his flaws and resetting himself back to a clean slate. This is how he is coping with this responsibility of being (or becoming) leader of Kakerou. In Kaoru, this weight puts him in a coma and creates a 10 years gap in his memory, for Souichi it will lead to him forgetting a length of 10 years after the Tower of Karma arc. Sounds familiar?

[vol42 Ch 454 Duwang translation]

What they’ve inherited from their fathers is not just this responsibility towards order, it is also more literally a spot where they have to resort to playing rigged games. Kaoru’s routine with the Paper Labyrinth game is revealed in the manga to be nothing more than a well-practiced script. We see a similar resort in Souichi for the Flying Vehicles bet where he simply has Baku’s (Kakerou appointed) men betray him. This way of approaching games goes against how the Usogui manga portrays gamblers. As shown in Drop the Handkerchief when Souichi admits re-using these sort of means for this game would not give him a “perfect victory” and when Baku congratulates him on “gambling” for the first time, a gambler in Usogui is not just someone who participates in gambles. They are a kind of person who is able to cling to a low chance of victory and keep to their unlikely plan the whole way through all because they aspire to something better than they already have. They are moving forward with no certainty of what will come of it because the reward is worth the risk to them. We see it in Kaji’s character arc, first someone who is the perfect prey to various scammers but who is then able to keep to his convictions and win the Contradictions game without killing his opponent.

Souichi and Kaoru are much closer to the Kaji in that 7-Stud Poker gamble (who is totally out of his depth the second things don’t go as he thinks they should, who loses large sums of money without truly registering it’s happening) than to him in his face-off against Floyd Lee. Think of Souichi accepting and then losing the bet with Baku on the Missile Launch for a grandiose sum, or how he hides behind Yakou in the tunnel. Kaoru is a volatile character during his games, incapable of thinking on his feet (he freezes completely when Kaji interrupts him), think of his outbursts against Kaji or Kadokura that he frames as righteous. The two of them are only performing for the sake of rules and order. They aren’t gamblers because they don’t have that thirst for something better, their drives are completely extinct. They have accepted their situation despite the harm it’s causing, all for the “greater good”.

[Vol48 ch523 Duwang translation]

Their common obsession with puzzles (Kaoru’s Labyrinths and Souichi’s Rubik’s Cubes) is part of this drive for rules and keeping order. Chapter 101 gives us this narration: "Upon first glance, the bewilderment and fear of not knowing what lies ahead reminds one of disorder. But, in ancient times, people created and solved these [mazes and puzzles] to acquire the feelings of relief and order." This text is illustrated by a jigsaw puzzle, a sliding block puzzle, Picross, Tetris and, on the next panel, a Labyrinth as Kaoru knows them. This explains the symbolism behind the Labyrinth Gamble for the Police Department (“The Labyrinth [...] doesn't just solve unsolved cases, they are being solved at the hands of the police.") but also for Kaoru himself. This is a way to fulfill his own need for order, and this idea applies to Souichi too. The Rubik’s Cubes give him relief throughout the story with too many appearances to list comprehensively. We see it as a memory exercise (post-memory loss in the Hangman tunnel, chapter 64), as a motif on a childhood T-Shirt (chapter 412), it simply helps him think (he’s seen playing with one at Gakuhito’s, chapter 273), and the imaginary cubes in Drop the Handkerchief. This culminates in the Rubik’s Cube becoming a symbol of Souichi himself as made explicit in chapter 521. By seeing himself reflected in the cube he is made to be the object of his own obsession. Solving the Cube then becomes his urge to “solve himself”. It is dehumanizing and belittling of his own (very real!) mental problems to view himself as a puzzle that exists for the only purpose of being solved- and that CAN be solved at all. What’s the “true ending” of the human mind? This is not something that has any answer or exit. We know that by the end of 2008, Souichi has resetted his memory 138 times. Souichi and Kaoru are trapping themselves in their own Labyrinths here.

[1. vol10 Ch101 Easy Going Scans Translation 2. vol48 ch521 Duwang translation]

In a way, Kaoru IS the Minotaur: a son who was locked away to his Labyrinth where he is fed innocent victims regularly, both victim and executioner, all because of his father’s sins. Along with Souichi, they are two kids who were groomed into taking their father’s place and have shouldered the weight that came with it from a very young age, and this weight has formed cracks in their minds. This is their way of coping with their fate: they stop being fully present in their own lives, they stop wishing for more, and they blame themselves.

II. Worker Ant and Prince Bee

It’s made clear during Kaoru’s breakdown that ultimately, he too, was an ant. In that final moment before losing consciousness he remembers how, as a child, he did not crush the ant that had strayed out of line. He’d tried to guide it back with its peers, but it did not follow and was accidentally killed. I think both Kaoru and Souichi are acting a version of this story on themselves, both as the child and as the ant. They are forcing themselves to stay in line, hurting and killing themselves slowly for “the greater good”.

[both vol10 ch102, easy going scans translation]

Souichi is likened to an insect as well within the story, he’s Hachina (“蜂名”, 蜂 “hachi” meaning bee), the Prince Bee, the Lost Bee, etc. From that shared bug symbolism we have to remember Souichi’s super-organism speech- a kind of organism that necessitates the loss of individuality for the well-being of the hive. Tatsuki brings this concept up to say the Private Funeral Division and the police as a whole are in such an organism, which would include Kaoru too. Even only going by the definition it’s easy to interpret him as in such a place, “just a cog in a machine”, and the same can be said of Souichi. They are both included in the ones losing their individuality to keep the system alive: “Even the Queen will draw her blood or sacrifice her life for the system.”. This self-sacrifice is something Souichi takes pride in: “[He] isn’t even worth an insect”. He rationalizes his own resolve to harm himself (“being prepared to bleed”) as something he is doing right.

[both Vol 24 ch 257 Duwang translation]

This loss of individuality is seen in how Souichi’s identity has been fragmented. He is “Souichi Kiruma” when he is acting as Leader and “Naoki Hachina” for public-facing matters- disregard that the two often overlap as seen in chapter 68. He was taught not to "build too deep a relationship with anyone" (chapter 273), and his memory loss routinely erases the memory of his bonds anyway. He allows his personal history to be rewritten for the sake of Kakerou (accepting that he did not face Baku Madarame but Kaoru Yukiide on April 9th 2001) and lastly he positions himself as non-human in his introductory scene with the Alien Invasion speech. This speech will come back a 2nd time during Air Poker when he gains full control of his memory, it is iconic of Souichi’s character and it is worth looking more deeply into.

[Vol6 Ch55 Duwang translation]

The image evoked here is that of an alien leader, “we” means the alien society as a whole- in this case it’d be Kakerou. Just like in the super-organism speech, he views himself as only one element in something much bigger than himself. This really puts the dehumanization into perspective. He’s a bee, he’s a super-organism, he’s an alien. He’s just barely a name, and not even a face. It takes the manga until the very end of chapter 68- the conclusion of the Hangman gamble- to show us Souichi’s face properly. It is completely obscured during the Alien Invasion scene and the referees do not call him by name. He’s just a faceless leader. He’s so little of a person already, and digging into the alien analogy only furthers this idea.

Alien Invasions as a trope also come with the “take me to your leader” shtick, that IS reflected in the story if we look at who Souichi has directly interacted with in the manga. He’s first introduced outside of flashbacks when he personally comes to the Hangman gamble to see Sadakuni, the leader of a terrorist organization. He gambles with Commissioner Sasaoka during the Tower of Karma arc. He invites Vincent Lalo, leader of Ideal, to meet him. He seeks out and shadows Nobuko during Protoporos, who will be crowned King and is shown as the strongest player on the island. Only then does he seek out a meeting with Baku, after he’s won the Ban and has earned that right. The point is, he only really interacts as a Leader and with other Leaders- it’s from one super-organism to another. He only deals with other people as parts of their own collective, this is the same world view as Kaoru’s with his ants that cannot exist outside of the collective. They both dehumanize others and themselves and this is something they’ve inherited from their fathers (the super-organism speech being started by Tatsuki Kiruma).

The dehumanization inherent to their places is also seen in the shadowy figures that haunt Kaoru and Souichi. Kaoru’s represents the memory of his dad, it tells him what to do and what to think, he looks to it for reassurance. Souichi’s takes the shape of a stretched version of himself that act upon him (as an alien does the human it kidnapped, and like Kaoru does to his ants.) These are two strikingly similar manifestations of the inner workings of their suffering minds. More than that, Souichi and Kaoru’s goal, here, is to fully BECOME that shadowy figure that haunts their psyche. That faceless, nameless existence is representative of what’s already succumbed to the super-organism. It’s something that takes over Kaoru when he gives in to the idea that anything can be justified for the sake of order and it’s the part of Souichi that dictates the memory resets. Their shadow is the part of them that’s “prepared to bleed”. It is the ideal ant. Let it be noted, then, that Kaoru becoming one with his is drawn in the same way as Souichi is when we first see him.

[the shadowy figures. Vol10 Ch98 Easy Going Scans Translation + Vol42 Ch454 Duwang Translation]

[Vol 10 ch98 Easy Going Scans translation + Vol 2 Ch 14 Duwang translation]

This is where the comparison takes its full meaning. It is obvious from Kaoru’s story that he is a victim of his situation; that he was manipulated into taking his father’s place by someone he trusted during his most vulnerable moment. He had just lost all that remained of his family, of course he’ll chase after the only thing he has left of it (his father’s spot in the Labyrinth game). Telling him not to is only making him believe that he had more agency in this decision than he really had. Can we say the same for Souichi?

Compared to Kaoru’s worker ant, Souichi holds much more power and freedom. This is reflected in his family situation being healthier and in him willingly stepping to the Leader role instead of being manipulated into it, as discussed previously. It then begs the question, since Souichi realizes that this is harmful to him, that his very humanity is being taken apart, why doesn’t he leave? Being Leader of Kakerou is not a lifelong duty, his dad retired and became referee almost 10 years before he died. Even without an heir to succeed him, couldn’t Souichi find a way? Is the system really worth all this harm?

III. November 23rd 1998

In 1998 Souichi has a memory loss episode and wonders around, following the instructions Eba gave him to find his way back. During this period he meets Baku Madarame and as per the Prince Bee narration they filled the hole in each others hearts.

[Vol30 Ch323 Duwang Translation]

Baku also gave him a new name- Hal- and generally showed him another way of living. One that is much more chaotic, dangerous, but also much more free. This is his alternative to Kakerou and being assimilated into the super-organism. After some time he gets his hands on the clue that will allow him to meet up with Eba, but before that there is a gamble he decides to take. That is the Russian Roulette Poker game against Fukurou on November 23rd. Souichi- Hal- usurped Baku’s place and decided to take the gamble himself. Despite the common in-story interpretation, this was not a sacrifice he made for Baku (see chapter 455). It is something he did for himself.

The reason he takes that gamble is because he’s a man of rules. He wants to stay by Baku’s side but he can’t just abandon his duty at Kakerou like this, and most importantly, he doesn’t want to make the choice himself. To decide for himself has consequences, it’d mean he, on purpose, betrayed his bloodline. It’d mean he broke the unwritten rule that it is his duty, as a Kiruma, to lead Kakerou. So instead, he turns to leaving his fate to a gamble. If he wins, it would be his sign to forsake his Souichi Kiruma life and stay by Baku’s side, but if he loses Hal would die.

There is a suicidal drive in this. We know Souichi did survive his loss and that the gamble took place in the building owned by Eba; there were preparations in place to facilitate his survival. Despite this, it is my reading that he was truly, fully, prepared to lose his life if he couldn’t keep being Hal- if he had to go back to being Souichi. Regardless of his intent at the time (if he did bet on his survival or not) there is weight to that symbol. Hal- Souichi- put a gun to his head because he yearned for something else, and in chapter 321 as Souichi in 2001 explains that he’ll kill himself if Baku wins Surpassing the Leader, we are then shown a scene from November 23rd of a black-suited man laying on the floor, presumably dead. This was suicide, if not on a literal level, on a symbolic one. It really did “kill Hal”- the only part of him that didn’t belong to Kakerou.

[Vol 30 ch321 Duwang translation. Notice the date on the clock.]

This leaving of things to fate brings us back to the Alien Invasion speech again, but in a flipped perspective of it. Another big part of alien stories is the alien abduction. Its appeal as a trope is the fantasy of being forcefully taken away and changed forever. Now, Souichi would no longer be the alien but the human the aliens act on. It’s an inversion of our original reading of it and it does position Hal in the picture instead. In a way, he has already been “taken away and changed forever” in 1998. His thread to return home was intercepted by Baku (the Prince Bee picture book) and he had to follow him into this new lifestyle. He feels like he “will never be able to become [himself] again” (chapter 321). But the aliens always bring the person back home in the end, and they have to carry on with that memory (and alien abduction stories also come with their share of memory loss, another one of Souichi’s motifs). What I really want to get to here is this duality of the invasion speech. On one hand, Souichi is the Aliens and a part of something greater, and on the other, Hal is the individual being taken away.

[Vol30 Ch321 Duwang translation.]

Souichi will try to escape his fate of being the alien again. During the Lost Bee arc, he has another major memory loss incident and he flees so he can meet with Eba secretly (having forgotten that Eba is now dead). During that escape he meets Baku again and from there the Protoporos arc starts, an arc where Souichi willingly takes on the name of Hal again. He will cling to this identity, seeking out his missing memories (chapter 449 for one exemple), looking for that place outside of Kakerou’s reach once more. Just for a little while, he is indulging in this special permission he is given to be Hal until the Ban ends. Then, the game is over and he has to be Souichi Kiruma again. Hal goes back to the dead, reburied, it’s over, it’s gone.

[vol43 ch469 Duwang translation]

This is also relevant to the end of Air Poker. During the game, he realizes that his systemic erasure of memories under stress will make him lose, that this aim to be perfect has rotted his brain, and that it’s nothing but a pipe dream (chapter 455). He finally accepts the fact that every person is flawed- only to then turn around and decide that therefor he has to try even harder to be perfect. He views his newfound control over his memory, of what he forgets and what he keeps, as proof of his extraordinary being. He thinks that even though no human can, HE can get close to perfection. It’s Icarus building himself a 2nd pair of wax-wings and giving the sun another try. The mythological comparison applies a bit further than that too. Icarus is the son of the architect of the Labyrinth. His father warned him not to fly too low or too high, which is to say not to want too little or too much. Tatsuki taught Souichi that “to be able to enjoy a delicious meal, to feel pain when you see blood, or wanting to avoid being hurt and hurting others" that is the default state of being he should seek. Instead, Souichi embraced his hubris, as discussed this role where he is “prepared to bleed” is something he takes pride in. He is no longer flying to escape the Labyrinth he was put in but to reach the sun itself despite having already fallen into the sea once before. It’s a fool’s errand.

[1. vol42 ch455 Duwang translation and 2.vol46 ch496 Duwang translation]

This contradiction arises from the fact that he did try being human and flawed before! He is not naively refusing to change. He already tried being Hal and he died for it! He died. He has no other option: “A dead person cannot be revived." (chapter 496). There is no alternative for Souichi, yes he is the Prince Bee, yes he is the ruler of the mind-breaking machine, son of the Architect, but he cannot escape his bloodline on his own. No matter his place in the system he cannot win against it. He is powerless to change things for the better as long as he is navigating within its rules.

IV. The Place That You Belong

There is a recurring idea in Usogui (manga) of the place that people belong to. It’s presented as something everyone has, and that as long as they’re there everything will turn out right for them. It’s “the stage that you shine on” (chapter 539), etc. Souichi explains this idea himself in the epilogue. Are you where you’re meant to be? Are you betraying yourself by refusing to stand in the right place?

[vol49 ch539 Duwang translation]

This concept is relevant to every character in Usogui but it’s best illustrated by Baku and Kyara. In Kyara’s fight against Jonglyo it is his bond with Baku that makes him win, the place that he belongs is by Baku’s side (chapter 384). This is why he lost against Marco during the Hangman arc, and never lost again. Baku’s only ever lost the Flying Vehicles bet, which he lost on purpose: he is already at the place that he belongs. This why they are the two characters who “keep on winning” no matter what, because they are following their “correct path”. It is why you want to be where you belong and why you belong there in the first place, because as long as you keep to it you will keep on “winning”.

For Kaoru I think it’s obvious the Labyrinth gamble is NOT where he belongs. As mentioned, he’s gambling while not being a gambler himself and he’s completely out of his depth when things are out of his script. He’s not even fulfilling his wish to “keep order”- he’s never solved a single labyrinth, he’s never saved a single person.

After his failure against Fukurou, Souichi resigns himself to accepting Kakerou as the place he belongs. But is that really true? As discussed, you know you’re on the right path because you keep on winning. In Hangman he had this to say: "A life in which I continue to win forever... I guess that's just my destiny?" (chapter 56) but it’s demonstrably not true! Souichi does lose! He lost his bet for the book in 1998, he lost against Fukurou, he didn’t manage to take over Tipa, and he lost Drop the Handkerchief. If it was his place to be Leader of Kakerou at that time he wouldn't have lost Surpassing the Leader. He isn’t Baku or Kyara. He is not where he belongs.

So if it’s not by Baku’s side and it’s not at the head of Kakerou either, where does Souichi belong, then? There are times that Souichi miraculously “wins”. We see it in Air Poker where he overcomes his memory loss and regains ALL discarded memories, and we see it when he wakes up in the hospital during the epilogue. These miraculous recoveries, I think, are indicative that he was doing something right at those times. The common thread between the two is that Souichi (or Hal) was acting in Baku’s interest without totally disowning his ties with Kakerou. He invites Fukurou to become a referee at the end of Air Poker and he steps up to being Leader again during the epilogue, but in the 1998 flashbacks he was hiding his bloodline and denied knowing what Kakerou was. This blatant lie is the narrative reason that made him lose against Fukurou, and his rejection of ever having been changed by Baku is what made Kakerou wrong for him afterwards. He does not belong anywhere until he stops living these lies. He cannot abandon Kakerou OR Baku, he needs both.

This is the reason Souichi and Kaoru became prey to the Lie-Eater. They were living their respective lies, and so Usogui came and ate them up. “It all began with a small lie” (chapter 535).

[vol6 ch 64 Duwang translation]

Kaoru should’ve died from this defeat after he was made to shoulder Baku’s loss at Surpassing the Leader, but he was saved in extremis by his own mental illness. He fell unconscious and this was judged as “collection on his life” enough for Kadokura so he was spared. He got to wake up in a hospital post-canon, free of this place he did not belong to, and still living. This is also the pattern Souichi follows. It is his mental illness that makes him lose Drop the Handkerchief, his memory loss episode that made him forget about the leap second and that Baku exploited. This defeat at Surpassing the Leader means he is now free of his duty to be Leader, and it allows him to later wake up in the hospital like Kaoru did. He can now be his own person, without any lies, without killing his mind to stay perfect- the very thing he’d tried to do on his own and failed. In a way, wasn’t he saved by his illness, too? And isn’t it their respective flaws that let them become their own person again, that re-humanized them?

In a lesser way this is also reflected in the Referee who presides over the Labyrinth gambles, Yuudai Kadokura. He’s characterized as a man of restraint during the arc. He, too, is obsessed with carrying out his job perfectly and tries his best to contain his emotions. “Please excuse me... Momentarily, I, Kadokura Yuudai, have unintentionally made a face that was a little indiscreet." (chapter 91) and this self-restraint will be lifted after he suffers (and recovers from) brain damage. It’s their mental ill that saved Souichi and Kaoru and that lifted Kadokura’s chains.

Usogui (manga) as a whole has more to say about this idea that it is our flaws that make us human. We see it in the Hangman gamble, when Sadakuni is hanged. He first claims he’s not afraid of death but in his final moments he thrashes and struggles and admits he doesn’t want to die here. Baku comments: “I won't let you die as a monster. You should at least die as a human.” (chapter 66). This explicitly conflates someone’s humanity with this display of desperation. It asks the question, can you accept your own death gracefully and remain human? What is being human but to fight tooth and nails for more out of life? Isn’t being alive inherently grotesque? This is also reflected in the ending of Air Poker in Vincent Lalo’s final, ugly, moment, just to name one other example. We are back to Tatsuki’s definition of what being “normal” is like, and it is this human fear of death and blood that makes the gamble against Commissioner Sasaoka work. Generally, it is the thirst for things that you don’t have and the willingness to fight for them no matter how unsightly you get that makes us truly alive- like a gambler is. This is reflected in the Protoporos arc when Champ chooses to stay on the island because he feels alive for the first time after having gambled with Baku as well as in Kaji’s character arc more broadly.

[Vol7 ch66 Duwang translation + vol38 ch 412 Duwang translation]

For all that Souichi tried to erase his failures and reach perfection he was only making himself less and less human. It’s only when he let his true desires show in Drop the Handkerchief and that he truly fought to “one up” Baku that he started to approach something that rings true. To be human is to be flawed and to accept and remember this, and grow stronger from having tasted defeat. And it is this defeat, that honest and bitter defeat, of Souichi at Drop the Handkerchief that leads to the realization of the Prince Bee story’s happy ending- the Prince Bee Duo rising up.

On a surface level, if Baku had lost again there was no way for him NOT to die this time with how weak we know his body to be (see, the Labyrinth Minotaur game and the Dotty game). But more than that, Souichi had to lose and stop being Leader so he could be himself, so he could stop lying about who he is. He cannot change his bloodline, he cannot stop being a Kiruma, but he cannot stop yearning for something more either. He’s a flawed, weird little guy and he will always be changed from Baku’s presence in his life. This defeat returns his humanity to him and it allows him to reconcile the contradictory positions he was in. He can then embrace that he IS Baku’s ally, and he IS Kakerou, too, and come back as his full self and no longer forced to keep people at arm’s length. That is the true place he belongs, both Leader of Kakerou and Baku’s friend.

[all three are vol49 ch 539, Duwang translation]

Both Souichi and Kaoru had to bear the weight of their fathers’ inheritance so much so that they hurt themselves and lost their very humanity, all to stay somewhere they shouldn’t be. It is their flaws that free them, but it is also the people around them who saved them. It’s Baku speaking up that Kaoru is “pretty much already dead”, it is the summon for Hal to wake up because “if it’s you, it will be alright.”. They woke up knowing people cared for them and sincerely wished for their recoveries. They were accepted fully for who they are, sinful bloodline and flaws and all, and with their curse lifted they can now return that care, too.

→ You are never truly alone, things can always get better, you CAN break free from your family’s Labyrinth. If it is forcing you to harm yourself and is keeping you isolated, then it is not the place that you belong.

[vol 14 ch147 Duwang translation + vol49 ch538 Duwang translation]

V. Conclusion

We see this loose pattern ripple in other characters. Kaji and Marco are grappling with what they’ve inherited from their parents too (namely, abuse) and it is through Baku’s support and help that they could set their minds free from this influence. As symbolic of the turning point where they can truly start to heal is their stay in a hospital (Marco post-Labyrinth gamble, Kaji on bed rest during Protoporos). To truly break free comes with being hurt deeply before becoming anew. It will be different but it will be okay.

The motif of dysfunctional or fragmented families generally runs rampant, most characters with known backstories have some sort of family troubles from our main characters to one-off antagonists (Marco and Kaji as mentioned but also Kyara, Satoru Suteguma, the Yakou twins, Voja, Jonglyo, Mitaka, and so on). Usogui (manga) features a lot of parents who suck absolute ass, yes, but it also more generally touches on the way parents shape their children even in healthier families- think Ranko taking over her dad’s mafia, the sons who’ve never faced consequences because their fathers are powerful, etc.

In light of this, the fact that our protagonist is someone who is seemingly completely devoid of family starts to stand out. We do not get to know anything about Baku’s parents, his childhood, how he was raised, etc, anything from before he was already a well-established gambler within Kakerou. This is very significant in a main protagonist, who we’d usually know a lot more about. It separates him from the weight of inheritance, only he is free of those bonds that tie someone to their family (or lack of it)- for better or for worse.

This feeds into the repeated use in the story of Surpassing the Leader as a way to lose your “bonds”. It’s stated Baku lost that 1st STL bet to get rid of this past that tied him to Hal, when Souichi loses Drop the Handkerchief he escapes his bloodline, and it’s the thing that’s pinned on Yukkii and frees him of his Labyrinth. This is the big “reset” button featured in the story but its point is not to go on with life devoid of relationships and ties to other people. No, Baku does rebuild his bond with Hal, Souichi comes back to Kakerou a healthier man, and the last scene Kaoru sees before falling unconscious is himself as a child holding both his parents’ hands. Loss is always painful but it often cannot be avoided (may it be to break free of an abusive family or a toxic job, or because a loved one dies, etc) and bonds are what shape us. The two ideas coexist. You cannot go on without any attachment to anyone. This is seen in the “planting seeds” imagery of chapter 320, all lives are interwoven and ripple against each other to grow and become something else.

Bonds are also the strength and support you gain from other people, it is how Kyara wins against Jonglyo, and it is Souichi’s parting words in Handkerchief: “It is you who made us stronger.” (chapter 530). Who can ever hope to leave the Labyrinth without Ariadne’s gift of yarn to guide them out? It is the two Bees’ friendship that’s at the core of the picture book, and it is also those relationships between people (good or bad), and love, that’s at the core of Usogui, too. To be loved and to love someone is to be changed.

[Vol 35, ch384, Duwang translation]

[marsh-falls]

Somebody who has never watched gravity falls? In 2024? It’s not exactly live-blogging but !! these are my live thoughts while watching :)

Starting with tourist trapped!

interesting way into the episode, why are they falling out of a billboard??

Oh the trees are falling

Are they getting chased??

Can kids drive golf carts?

How are they not dead?

Oh the creature threw a tree

Theme song! Nice beats!

Why does Stan wear an eyepatch over his glasses?

A sleepy town?

“Place in the woods”

WHY IS THERE A GOAT IN THE HOUSE

oh she’s rolling

is this dude okay?

dipper is sassy

SASCROTCH??

Oh fun! Child labor!

Boy crazy girl, the usually

Aren’t they like twelve?? Why is she stressing about relationships

Poor mattress king

Oh! That is not the man of her dreams!

Where did the chocolate bar come from??

Bewarb !

Scam artist Stan?

Sending a 12yo into the woods alone!

Metal tree?

Is that a radio?

Oh it opened a gateway?

Journal! Those are important right?

No one you can trust!

Oh the goat is eating it

Guy whose writing it mysteriously disappeared?

There’s a lot of sweaters isn’t there

That’s a very niche magazine

Maybe don’t go on dates with guys you met at the cemetery?? Is that blood on his face? Also he looks like 17

Normal Man? Is this guy really a man??

Oh it’s jam! That’s a good idea

Oh he’s clumsy

Possum!!

Zombie boyfriend??

I agree! Losing my mind

Oh! He made a daisy chain for her! That’s cute!

Where did Soos come from? Major league

Blessing and a curse?

oh he can walk backwards! Cool!

Did this dude just punch straight through glass? With no cuts??

Oh he’s super clumsy

How do you accidentally fall into a grave?

Why did she think that was a good idea?

The journal has six fingers

Gnomes??

Why does she freak out over the gnomes and not the zombie?

This is in fact how siblings argue

HIS HAND FELL OFF??

Soda cans under the couch

Idiot tourists

Oh that explains the golf cart

What’s he gonna tell her?

She really wants a vampire boyfriend

ITS A BUNCH OF GNOMES?? That explains the clumsiness

Does she become leader of gnomes?

Oh they’re proposing

Oh she rejects them

Oh! Kidnapping!

Is the creature from the beginning the gnomes?

Oh they sparkle when they’re kicked. Gnomes have sharp teeth?

Unknown weaknesses?

I thought dipper’s hat was different??

Well that’s one way to save her

This dude has good driving skills for a kid

Oh they are the monster from before??

This is frightening

Ratatouille style

That is wild

Run run run

Vicious little gnomes huh

Where’d his hat go??

OH THEY THREW THE TREE

uh oh they crashed

Self sacrifice! they look kinda like Stan?? The nose

Oh! Leaf blowers are their weakness??

Gnome canon! It’s raining gnomes

Oh the goat got one

Foreshadowing? Is her next boyfriend a vampire??

Oh! He’s not evil

Ohhh that’s where the new hat comes from

GRAPPLING HOOK??? My kind of kid

Well that’s one way to get the lights

SECRET ENTRANCE??

What’s behind the vending machine??

Summarized Thoughts:

This is an interesting first episode! Usually shows start off more tame but this was kind of fun, actually! Wish we saw more of Stan though, he seems like an important character! We saw more of Soos?

His name has to be short for something, right? Who names their kid soos?

[chiefwritesbook]

WIP Intro: SOTAL

Hi hello this is my main WIP and book 1 is out and I'm !!!!!!

(have a moodboard first of all)

Series title: Stories of the Ancient Lands (SOTAL) Genre: Epic fantasy/romance Themes: Justice (and prejudice), power & leadership, morality, self-identity, friendship & love

Blurb for book 1: War rages across the elven kingdom of Kies Tor. In the capital, the exiled crown prince has returned, seeking to usurp the throne. Midst the bloodshed and chaos, Talin Zylvaris II must take her place as queen and lead the kingdom to safety. It’s a heavy weight for the youngest Torrian ruler in a thousand years.

There is, however, a glimmer of hope in an unlikely alliance to the west. Against her council’s advice, Talin rides out with her mysterious royal bodyguard to seize it, oblivious to the dangers stirring at home. Caught between a court conspiracy and advancing Hellhounds to the north, Talin has only one chance to save her people. If it is not already too late.

About the main squad: Talin: Queen of an entire kingdom, inherited a war, trying her hardest not to screw up and also keep her people alive while everyone at court plots things behind her back. Probably needs to be fished out from the increasingly large pile of other people's bullshit.

Red Wolf: Lord Commander of the Royal Guard. Not a Werewolf™️ and definitely not a simp for the queen, not at all. Prone to getting stabbed or slashed by various sharp and pointy things - it's an occupational hazard.

Ettrias: Talin's twin brother, crown prince of Kies Tor, also very much exiled for murder. May or may not be plotting to assassinate the queen. People tend to forget he's highly competent with a sword and attempt to kill him for some reason.

Captain Golmin: Army vet who became head of the royal guard because it pays to be best friends with the Lord Commander. Really just tired of everyone's shit. Always ends up caught in the middle of a court conspiracy or another, possibly because he's dating the crown prince.

Ashera: A 12yo child who wound up as the Lord Commander's squire because the guy felt guilty about failing to save her hometown and subsequently promised her mother that he'd look after her. Looks like a cinnamon roll, can and will commit crimes.

Book 1 excerpt to finish off: Talin tried a different tactic. “Why did you allow the assassin to scale the walls?”

“We needed a man for questioning.” Red Wolf took the torch from her at the bottom of the steps and led the way onwards, past endless rows of black-barred cells. She could see some were occupied, though none dared come close to them in Red Wolf’s towering presence. A straggly youth with rags for clothes spat on the ground when they passed. Her bodyguard slammed the bars with a gauntleted hand, and he jumped back, eyes wide.

“You and Captain Golmin set this up?” Talin asked.

“The plan was my idea. Captain Golmin only helped because he had an obligation to his lord commander,” Red Wolf explained. “We organised a new night shift that left blind spots on the walls and allowed the assassin to observe the pattern. We also leaked false information that I would not be guarding you at night. I had been asking you if you required me to guard your chambers only because I did not want to go against your word, but you refused each time. We were running out of opportunities.”

“You mean to say that I was bait,” Talin said.

“Not the word I would use, but in a way, yes,” Red Wolf confessed.

“Why?”

“You have been on the throne for less than a year. If someone wants you dead this quickly, something is amiss. I’d like to find out what.”

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Someone might've asked before but, thoughts on zokiku?

Legend. Don't think anyone's asked about ships but it's a fun idea. Never been much into it myself but ZoKiku is a fun one. It's really her classic one but it fell by the wayside as Hiyori took on a way more fun role with it. Zoro & Kiku have a phenomenal chemistry in Bakura Town though, and it all boils down to being Bizarro-World Kuina. We deserve more of their banter, especially in a scenario where Kiku doesn't feel the need to play the dainty maiden.

Here's something I always think about Zoro and Kiku though. What if Kuina never died, and like a lot of young women throughout her teens stopped being quite so tomboyish. Her and Zoro grew closer and they wrote the quest for greatness off as childhood fantasy. They marry and Zoro takes over the dojo. You know, what Koshiro would've probably had in mind was going to happen and a thought it's believable for Zoro to have at times. If Tashigi bugs Zoro because she looks the same and says similar things to a 12yo Kuina...Kiku is a weird one for him because she feels like the woman Kuina could have been. Still skilled, still fierce, but tempered with age and feels a need to act girly. And that's mutual; Zoro's a lot like the Akazaya and I'd even say him and Izo are somewhat similar.

Think he'd like her more than she'd like him, if that makes sense. He seems a little rude from her perspective...but I don't see Zoro being the type to care much about the trans aspect. He's not nagging Kiku here in Bakura because he has x-ray vision under the kimono, he can just tell the waitress is skilled and wants to see cool samurai shit. The arm shows he really liked her on some level. That pissed him off and it's the exact same tone as Robin/Enel.

I can see em having a fun little dynamic where they're constantly screwing with each other but the foundation is solid. With time he'd get how to read her a bit and both seem like they'd enjoy quiet time together or trusting each other to have their own lives.

[k2ntoss]

Hey luv, it's me from the "how long have you know them" prompt, first of all, I LOVE IT OH MY GOD JEALOUS JASON ALWAYS MAKES ME ALL GOOFY AND GIDDY AND SHIT—!!!

But now you awakened a 12yo me with her weird obsession with THE British man™, John Constantine;; what about a kenjaku!reader? (I don't know if you're into jjk or something but I would DIE to see this)

good night, sweetheart !!! I'M SO HAPPY YOU ACTUALLY LIKED IT i was a little unsure of how it turned out or if it was what you had in mind but i'm really glad you enjoyed it <3

OHHHHH let me tell you that you've just triggered my jjk brain rot again but i'm gonna be honest, i do have to start season two bc it came out while i was still working on my thesis and i didn't really allowed myself to get into much stuff by that time (i still finished almost over the deadline lmao) and i still have to go back to the manga bc i'm trying to get them on physical format BUUUUT i do have a small idea i'll try to develop properly.

john constantine is not much of a chatty person, most like the kind of annoying dude you meet when you're getting into a pub from where he's being kicked out for trying to start a fight; so basically he's kind of an amusing guy, always into troubles and followed by a scent of pure misery, a smart mouth and no sense of respect but he's also a silly little dude who craves for some comfort and company, which he somehow finds on the stranger that he almost kicked that foggy night, a stranger that smelled as something unknown and supernatural. the scar in your forehead calls his attention, he's not delicate at all when he points at it "what's that nasty thing you have there, love?" he towers over you, fingertips lightly gracing the stiches-shaped scar that rounds your head and you don't think twice about telling him, maybe he won't believe you but his silence confirms he's not a normal human "so it looks like we're both neck deep into some shit" and even when you're used to be the one carrying the conversation you let him do the talking.

OKAY this counts as a drabble??? i have a few more things on mind to get this to a nice development but i think it's good for a start so once i've got myself properly educated again i'll write more about this :3

[bookishjules]

the 12yo i babysit made me a little book for my birthday featuring, among other things, a short narration of a typical afternoon--what it's like for me to pick her up from school from her perspective. and i just.. i'm a mess. if this wasn't already my favorite time of the day..

I know how today will go. I will slog through the day and no matter how good it is, the afternoon will allow aimlessness to creep into my mind. I will be shoved by a sea of evermoving students at the end of the day. Ideas about everything and nothing all at once will weigh my shoulders down. And with each step I will descend into a state of empty fog. And with each overheard word my heart will grow a little heavier. But then, I will look up to a woman, standing in a corner of the sidewalk. I will see the chipped black paint of the waist high gate and behind it I will see yellow high tops rooted firmly on the cobblestone, strawberry blonde waves and a splash of freckles. I will meet blue eyes and my feet will gain energy to keep moving. You will begin to pull out one earbud to listen. (Thank you,) You always seem willing to listen. But before you manage to pull the earbud away I will be stumbling, and I know that with a "hey kiddo" I will be in the embrace of Julia.

[knickolas]

Some of you have no idea what the average 12yo looks like. Stop drawing Ylfa like she's an adult, please.