#no idea how tumblr works so i censored his ass my bad

[definetelynotavampire]

Nikolai ._ .

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Animal (13)

Chadwick Boseman X Original Female Character “Sianna”

Chapter Warning: Cursing, Angst, Plot, Plenty of Words, Slow Burn

Word Count: 2.8k

Note:  I hope you guys enjoy this. By the way, Tumblr is on the BS and flagged every chapter because my old mood board had a portrayal of backshots. LMFAO!!!! So new mood board.

I censored my mood board, let’s see if it gets flagged. LOL

**Loosely edited/Proofread***

Thank you guys for reading!!!  If you enjoyed this please LIKE, REBLOG, COMMENT. ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Sianna-

  MSG Mom: You have missed the last several months of Sunday dinners. That is inexcusable young lady. I get that you’re busy, everyone is busy. We are all busy. We all make the time. Why can’t you?

  You’d been staring at the message from her for the last few hours. After the last dinner you’d missed your brothers warned you that she was on a rampage. They told you to expect her call. You dodged the calls but this you couldn’t dodge. It had been months since you made an appearance at the biweekly family dinner. In the beginning, it was due to your insane work schedule and all the time you had to put into establishing your line and brand. Now with the pregnancy, it was terror. You knew you couldn’t show up to family dinner six months pregnant, especially when the last time they saw you, you weren’t and had no prospects as your mother would say.

 If you showed up preggers your mother would have a heart attack at the scandal alone. Your brothers would go into cabin in the woods ax murderer mode, your father would probably understand but be disappointed that you’d rearranged the order of events skipping boyfriend and marriage altogether. Everyone would have something to say and you were nowhere near prepared to handle any of it.

Groaning you dropped back onto your bed and closed your eyes. Maybe if you lied here long enough this would all fade away and you’d realize it was an insane fever dream and you weren’t pregnant with a near stranger's babies, and tackling all of it alone. Five, fifteen, then thirty minutes passed with you laying there in silence without a thought in your mind besides the yoga breathing you’d been learning the last two weeks you’d began Lamaze classes.

 When you opened your eyes everything was still calm, and you nearly forgot everything, but then felt a powerful jab in your abdomen. You shot right up and touched your stomach, the tiny imprint of some body part pressed against your right palm. A smile tickled your lips until you were full-on grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

 “Yep, not a dream. Reality.” You slowly rubbed your belly. Where your hands roamed the movements followed. Soon you were feeling a symphony of kicks all over your stomach and you sat there smiling enjoying every second. It was surreal, yes, but it wasn’t nearly as alarming now as it had been several weeks ago.

 “What are we gonna do guys? We have to get our shit together. Work is great, I can handle work but everything else. How do I even begin to go home to your grandparents and tell them about you? How do I face them? Then what do I do about your daddy?”

 The thought of referring to Chadwick as their daddy made you smile and your heart flutter. It filled you with warmth and more than half of you liked calling him that. He was their father. They had half his DNA and would probably look something like him. You hadn’t thought much about anything beyond being pregnant and having a lot going on. This was the first time you began to think about the secondary things.

 “He has rights, I know that. I don’t want to take them away. I just—he’s so famous and he’ll be even more famous. His career takes him everywhere, how do I know that he can be there for us? You, I mean for you. This has nothing to do with me. Right?”

 The sound of your doorbell broke you out of your monologue. As you walked down the stairs you continued to rub your belly enjoying the kicks, pushes and slithers you felt. It was strange to feel movement inside of you but it wasn’t something that made your skin crawl, it did the opposite. When you looked at the video of the front doorbell you smiled seeing your friends.

 “My God, could you have taken any longer?”

 “Excuse me, I am pregnant and carrying more weight.”

 The three of them walked in past you and made a line straight for the kitchen where you knew the wine was.

 “Girl please, you’re barely pregnant, and the only more weight you’re carrying is that ass,” Ebony teased. You smiled and dipped down to do a baby twerk. The three of them cheered loudly as you fanned them off.

 Once the three of you were seated around your kitchen island Zee was the one to pop the top off the wine bottle.

 “It’s barely three Zee.”

 “Three in LA means it’s well past five in New York,” she responded pouring the golden liquid in their three glasses.

 “None for you baby mama,” Tessa said as she slid a can of apple Izze your way. You rolled your eyes, popped the top and took a sip.

 “I didn’t want any wine anyway.”

 “How are you doing? You’re getting bigger.” Ebony’s hand flew to your belly and rubbed your bump.

 “I’m okay. I am. I think I’m going to have to go into maternity in the next week or two.”

 “Six months, with twins I’d say there are many women who would be jealous at that fact,” Tessa added.

 “What’s going on with the father?”

 “Zee, you can say his name he’s not the damn Candyman. Jesus, Chadwick Boseman. I still can’t believe you met, and popped that pussy for Chadwick Boseman in record time and came away with two souvenirs of your time together. Girl, talk about luck,” Ebony went on.

 “Luck?”

 “Yes, there are plenty of women who would love to be in your position, hell any of the positions he had you in.”

 The three of them snickered and you shook your head but couldn’t keep the smirk off your face.

 “If they wanna be me so bad, go ahead. This is messy.”

 “Have you heard from him since he showed up here to catch you with your new boo?”

 “Another thing, who dates and has a boo while being six months pregnant?”

 You narrowed your eyes at Ebony. She quickly raised her hands in surrender.

 “First of all, I don’t have a boo. Things with Chino are—over. We had a talk after Chad showed up here and he wants to take a step back, he thinks I don’t know what I want and that I should focus on figuring it out.

 “Smart man,” Tessa murmured.

 “So, Chino is out of the picture. I can’t even blame him for not wanting anything to do with me. I’m having babies with Chadwick Boseman.”

 “He knows he can’t compete with The Bleck Pantha,” Ebony chided in her best Wakanda accent. You rolled your eyes; you’d just about had it with her. Zee and Tessa snickered together.

 “Ebony.”

 Again, she raised her hands in defeat. You knew she’d pipe up again with something else to say that was slick and smart.

 “Chad and I spoke, I told him everything and apologized for not telling him sooner.”

 “How did he take it?”

 You finished the can of Izze and went to the fridge for another and took the bowl of cut strawberries out as well.

 “He took it well. There was no yelling or screaming, or tears. It was a calm conversation—surpisingly calm considering.”

 “Anything decided? Does he want to be involved with his babies? Are the two of you going to I don’t know make a relationship?”

 “Will you be moving in with him?”

 Their questions hit you in the face one after the other like slabs of ice. They were questions you hadn’t thought about and definitely hadn’t even addressed. They were way ahead of the game.

 “Guys, chill. We didn’t decide anything. He asked me if I wanted him involved and I had no answer for him.”

 “What the hell you mean you had no answer? Si.” Ebony gaped at you ready to elaborate her outrage but the stern look on your face shut her up.

 “What did you tell him then?”

 “I said I don’t know. Guys, I really don’t know. I know he has rights and all that but not everyone who has kids should be involved with them.”

 “True, but if a man is willing, able and wanting to be there for his offspring, you have an obligation to allow him, especially a black man. Remember those statistics and stereotypes are a thing. He doesn’t want to be part of the fray,” Tessa explained. She was speaking nothing but facts, you knew it.

 “He didn’t say he wanted to be involved. He was clearly in shock. It was a lot to hear and absorb, still pregnant, over five months so, pregnant with twins. It was a lot. We left things with both of us needing to think and really figure out what we each want.”

 “What do you want Sianna?” Zee’s voice was gentle and her hands soft as she held one of yours. You took a deep breath and slowly released it. You didn’t know any more now than you did two weeks ago.

 “I got nothin.”

 “Okay, this was a productive chat.” Ebony rolled her eyes, finished her glass of wine and shook her head. “It’s okay to say you want to be with him. You know that right? It’s okay to want to experience this with him. You can be strong and independent together.”

 “Ebony is right. I know those are foreign words when using her name but in this particular situation, she is right. There is nothing wrong with figuring it out together,” Tessa breeched.

 “I have an idea. Maybe the two of you should spend some time together. It will give both of you an opportunity to get to know each other better hence seeing where the two of you are mentally. It should give you some form of an idea what would work and hopefully, that will make it easier to figure out.”

 The four of you sat there thinking about Zee’s idea. It was a good one, a really good one. The kicks began again, and you touched your belly. “You guys wanna feel?”

 All hands flew to your belly and the next ten minutes were spent oohing and aahing over the kicks. After the four of you burrowed into the couches and found a Netflix movie while discussing baby stuff. They were excited for the babies and it showed with how long they were able to talk about it without even mentioning a club or even any of their latest conquests. The more you listened to them the more excited you became.

By the time seven rolled around they’d left and you were alone again. This time you were sitting in your tub trying to get a head start on your schedule for the next day while getting distracted with baby websites. You’d just finished your second bottle of the cherry limonatta you’d just gotten into drinking. It gave you the fizz and sweetness of wine without the alcohol. Who knew knocking the wine for nine months would be such a challenge? That was when your mind ran onto Chadwick. In truth, he wasn’t far from your mind at any given moment. You had his spawn growing in you and they’d been very active today.  

 You chewed your bottom lip and opened a new browser window on your iPad and entered his name in google. Yes, you knew about him, who didn’t, but you didn’t know everything. You were curious. As the search results populated the first one caught your eye; an image of him with a brown-skinned woman. You squinted and you could have sworn you’d seen her from somewhere. You tried to think back to where it could have been but for the life of you, you couldn’t place her face. You clicked the article and skimmed its contents. Her name was Simone and they were dating, or they had until at least a couple months ago. You wondered what happened and if you’d had anything to do with it.

 You continued to go through the search results and read through the first page of articles. You’d found out his upcoming roles, recent interviews, and even learned a little more about what was going on between him and Valentina. Every time you saw a picture of them together you wanted to vomit. After thirty or so minutes you’d gotten a lot of information and you’d come to the conclusion that he seemed to be a pretty good guy. Your iPad was now stopped on a very good shot of him. He was a good-looking man.

 Suddenly your iPad went off making you shriek and jump nearly dropping it into the lukewarm water. Chadwick’s name appeared. You froze unsure exactly what to do. After the third ring, you recovered and tapped the green answer button. His face appeared in a dewy white light. Without thinking you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth admiring his handsomeness.

 “Hi.”

 “Hi,” you repeated on a whisper.

 “Is it late? Am I interrupting? Did I wake you?”

 “No, no, you’re not interrupting. I was awake, just sitting in the bath.”

 Chadwick’s eyebrow shot up as he looked below your face. You looked at your image checking to make sure you weren’t turning this into soft porn. The frame caught the cleavage of your breasts but nothing provocative. He’d seen this before. Chadwick shook his head and brought his eyes back to yours.

 “Uh—I’m sorry.”

 “It’s fine. No harm, no foul.”

 Silence fell between you. The two of you just sat there looking over each other’s faces. The silence didn’t feel awkward at all.

“Are you doing okay?”

 “Yeah, I’m okay. We’re okay.”

 “Do you need anything? Pickles, ice cream, hot wings?”

 You snorted and pinched your lips, he thought he was funny with all the pregnant woman clichés.

 “Those are a lot of clichés sir.”

 “I mean clichés had to start somewhere right?”

 You nodded and leaned back, your body coming down from the anxiety it was in.

 “I don’t crave pickles, the only accurate thing there was the ice cream and hot wings. I’ve also recently started wanted a lot of chocolate-covered strawberries. I can’t seem to get enough which spells trouble for my ass.”

 Chadwick smiled and rubbed his hand along his goatee.

 “This is the one time you can unapologetically adhere to the eating for two phrase, so why not?”

 “Well, eating for three if you want to be accurate.”

 “See, play that shit up.”

 You laughed loud, it echoed through your bathroom. Chadwick joined in and you remembered his deep boisterous laugh that was all unique to him. It was a laugh you first heard in Jamaica across the beach before he approached and danced with you. It was a great laugh. Slowly your laughs died down and again the two of you just stared at each other.

 “Do you uh—do you have a good supply of ice cream, hot wings, and chocolate-covered strawberries?”

 You were tempted to read between the lines but decided against it.

 “Finished the strawberries today, you can never have enough a supple of ice cream or hot wings.”

 He nodded and licked his lips. Your eyes dropped to them and again you remembered the feel of them and how he kissed you. You couldn’t remember their taste though. It had been that long.

 “Would it be all right if we met up?”

 “Met up?”

 “Yeah, I thought maybe we could do something, talk.”

 It sounded like he was asking you out on a date, but it also didn’t sound like he was asking you out on a date.

 “Something like what?”

 “Well, I like to stay away from most places in LA.”

 “I can imagine, the Bleck Pentha gets recognized wherever he goes.”

 Chadwick smiled again but looked away as if he were embarrassed. “Go on laugh it up. Get it out.” You smiled and watched him and spoke on pure instinct without thinking.

 “You can come here.”

 The silence returned and Chadwick just gazed at you and looked as if he were in deep thought. You were holding your breath unsure what his answer would be.

“Are you sure?”

 “Uh—I mean only if you want to. If you don’t then I completely understand. You don’t have to; I’m not trying to force you,” you rushed out in an effort to cover yourself.

 “No, no, I never said I don’t want to. I know you’re not trying to force me. I do want to,” Chadwick rushed out overlapping your voice.

 “You do?” The uncertainty in your voice was evident. You were surprised.

 “I mean—yeah.”

 You smiled small but it took no time at all for it to spread across your face.

 “Okay, sounds like a plan then. We’ll—Netflix and Chill.”

 Chadwick’s eyebrows shot up again and you realized what you’d just said.

 “Oh my god. Wait, I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”

 He laughed his hearty laugh again and you gave you a “yeah right” look. 

“Oh my god, I’m serious. Jesus, I’ll see you in a bit.”

 You ended the call to Chadwick’s laughter. You put your iPad to the side and shook your head, mortified at your tongue slip. 

~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!! ❤️❤️

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TagList:

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[overgosh]

So it’s after BlizzCon.

Some thoughts, because there are some posts that have popped up on my dash that make my blood boil:

On the Hearthstone Tournament Situation:

For its treatment of Blitzchung and the twitch casters, Activision Blizzard was completely in the wrong.

It was inappropriate for Blitzchung and the twitch casters to use the platform that way, as it would be if any other political statement was announced (whether divisive or not). It is completely reasonable for a penalty to be given, but not in the manner that it was.

Activision Blizzard’s corporate executives royally fucked up, and will continue to not serve the best interest of its userbase when it comes to making money and continuing to be a behemoth corporation. All statements have been strictly based on PR and have not been suitable apologies or plans of action for improvement.

On Fake Diversity Which Has Somehow Become The New “Forced Diversity”:

While it is great for marketing and for shitty apologies to fall back on their ideals using Overwatch’s diversity and Blizzard’s tenets, AND that certainly is a selling point that they will, of course, use to sell their game to people:

The idea that Activision Blizzard’s corporate executives are trying to bait LGBT people and POC into forgetting their misdeeds by adding LGBT people and POC into the game is totally bizarre... For so many reasons. For so long there hasn’t been representation because it “doesn’t sell” or “appeal to the masses”, especially for the types of games that Blizzard produces. The implication that Tracer having a picture of Emily on the dashboard and Sojourn arriving were solely added to soothe the controversy are so wildly absurd in terms of the timeline of reality itself and straight up common sense. 

Overwatch specifically has admirable goals of diversity. Sometimes the team does a damn good job, and sometimes (often) they mess up. If there’s an actual solid foundation and evidence about how the exec’s insidious use of “diversity points” are being used to manipulate the public while not contributing anything meaningful to the landscape of video games, I’d love to hear it. There is a LOT to unpack here, but that’s my brief point on it.

Oh also, for fuck’s sake - of course China has censored the LGBT content in Overwatch. That’s not an Evil Blizzard Machination -- China pushes through censorship for all kinds of media content that’s not considered “decent”, which as you may remember as an example included the LGBT relationships in Steven Universe (namely, Ruby and Sapphire). Using the same logic, that would imply that Steven Universe’s LGBT themes were included for diversity points. It’s.... There’s lots of problems with Blizzard, y’all, that one doesn’t quite hold up.

On “People Are So Quick To Forgive Blizzard”:

Some people are, yes. There are folks who fully believe J Allen Brack’s statement(s) in their entirety.

Other people didn’t really care either way in the first place, and just want content.

Some have decided that based the actions after the initial incident (the penalty reduction, as well as not stifling or turning away hosts that spoke out against the incident, and also not interfering or silencing the protests at BlizzCon) that they are taking a stance anywhere in the middle of this situation. They may be excited for game content created by incredible people, including diversity that they have been asking for for literal years.

People are not so simple as to be put into one bucket. This is a huge leap of logic I keep seeing pop up on social media. Being excited about a revelation from Blizzcon doesn’t equate to forgiving the company.

On “How can people support an evil company?”:

We have to deal with late stage capitalism, so unfortunately we can’t avoid supporting corporations while living in society. This one sucks ass, guys. We live in a time where global superpowers are so interconnected that foreign influence affects everything we do, and the simple act of impulse buying a candy bar from the grocery store check-out may have just been a teeny contribution to slave labor (hi, Nestle). It’s positively overwhelming. On that note:

Other behemoth companies such as Apple and Google are also causing significant damage to the same freedoms, many related to the same Hong Kong issues and much more. SO:

Use your voice to do good, and use this revelation about the actions of a small group of people at the very top of this video game company to make a difference. Screaming at tumblr users for being “sheeple” for being enthusiastic about dark-skinned and lesbian heroes as though shutting that down will solve the problem is a really horrendous missing of the point. There is still good that can (and does!!) come out of Blizzard, like the realization of the success of a diverse cast of human characters. As we all say time and time again: representation is important. We fight for the message that Blizzard champions to not ring hollow, so use your voice. The employees at Blizzard sure did. And speaking of:

The devs and artists working at Blizzard are not Activision Blizzard’s corporate executives. In an industry as unforgiving and volatile as games (Remember when Activision laid off 800 people after a record-breaking, successful financial year?), they’ve worked their asses off for years for this. They’re regular-ass working people who actually have a say in the story and how the game is developed. You can love the story. You can love the characters, love the games, and STILL hate the corporation. You are a complex individual, just like this world we live in. You are welcome to find where the scale for you tips. If it’s not worth it for you to support Activision Blizzard, then that’s a battle that you are fighting. If you choose to be an activist like many hosts, casters and content creators who speak up while still covering Blizzard content, great. If you choose to boycott, great. If you choose to share information to others about the issues, great. The world is far too complicated to judge on a “GOOD” and “BAD” polarity, unlike the method of thought this site (and yes, others as well) tends to proliferate. So if anyone tries to put you into a black and white box, know that there is no such thing.

Finally:

On “I feel so helpless about Hong Kong. How can I help?”

https://www.reddit.com/r/HongKong/comments/cv0ws4/how_can_you_help_hong_kong_protests_from_abroad/

This Reddit user has compiled a list of Hong Kong protest resources. This includes a Blacklist and Whitelist if you are someone who is interested in cutting ties or supporting companies based on their reaction to the HK protests.

[janiedean]

Hi Janie! So, I admit to a bit of ignorance pertaining the whole “anti”-debacle. I’ve seen anti and anti-anti posts that say the same thing, sometimes it’s about morally offensive things, sometimes about completely unrelated stuff and I can’t make heads nor tails of it, especially since there isn’t really a wealth of actual information? Just rants... *sigh* If it’s possible, do you think you could explain what the problem is? (Does that need to be in plural?) and the „sides“? Thank you! ❤️

anon you asked the question of the century I’m afraid X°D THAT SAID let’s... see if I can make this understandable.

so: the anti debate is... pretty much tied to the whole ‘politics in fandom discourse’ and you can’t separate the two of them sadly. of course I come from the not anti side of fandom so what do I know. anyway, premise:

what happened is that in the last two/three years, whether we liked it or not, the debate in fandom has moved from ‘my ship is better than yours’ to ‘my ship is better than yours because it’s more progressive/woke’, which has gone hand in hand with the political fandom views of any media product, ie ‘you can’t watch that because it lacks representation’ or ‘that show is crap because it’s not woke enough or doesn’t treat that topic well’ and so on, and with a tendency to think that if you ship anything you want it to be canon because it only is worth anything if it becomes such (which imo is bullshit but never mind);

this has moved on to also judging people based on their ships, as in: ‘ship X is wrong because it’s problematic for X reason therefore if you ship it you support X irl and you’re problematic and you need to be stopped’. such as ‘thor/loki is wrong because it’s incest so if you ship thor/loki you’re okay with incest irl and you want to bang your siblings if you have any’, which is a ridiculous notion but this goes also hand in hand with the fact that people have suddenly decided to trash all the psychology that confirmed how violent videogames don’t influence reality and now think that liking something problematic influences you irl because they don’t grasp the difference between fandom and mass-media consumption of a mass-media product;

they also don’t grasp the concept of catharsis through media nor of the really basic concept that most normal people who see themselves in fiction don’t take the entire package but relate to specific things;

keeping THAT in mind:

the whole ‘anti’ thing, as ‘people being opposed to a ship or a trend’ is basically people saying that you cannot ship a thing or be into a problematic character or kink because it says something about you and not about your fictional preferences and actively go around being assholes to people who ship the thing while at the same time gatekeeping/policing their own ships which are of course Purer Than The Others and bringing politics into it, too;

this also goes with a frankly problematic (AND I’M USING THE WORD NON-IRONICALLY) attitude that those people have of equating age gaps with pedophilia always and considering children people older than thirteen/fourteen, which automatically makes them think of people who ship age gaps even in between adults pedophiles (I kid you not a friend who’s over thirty in a rship with a person fifteen years older got told that their rship was pedophilia because their partner was an adult when they were a child at some point in their lives. I mean, IMAGINE THAT.);

to give the to-go example these days because it’s sadly the worst: sw sequel trilogy fandom. rey/kylo has been targeted by antis as the to-go Most Problematic Ship because in order:a) enemies to lovers as a trope which is of course abusive if the good side is a woman (more on that later) b) both are white (so it’s racist to not ship her with the non-white people in the light side *roll eyes*)c) they have a ten years age gap (so it’s pedophilia even if rey’s of age and she kicked his ass more than once)d) he’s not technically good looking so it sets people’s worst instincts offe) these people don’t buy into the fact that people can be redeemed so they decided he’s absolutely Not Redeemable and so onf) it’s an m/f couplenow, rey/lo is admittedly a fairly tame ship as far as problematic goes - it’s honestly your typical enemies to friends to lovers trope that’s been in media since the beginning of time, but according to these ppl it’s The Worst and if you dare being into it you must be a pedophile, racist, misogynist (or internalized misogynist), straight person (because of course only straight ppl ship m/f) - and yes, being straight is a problem but more on that later. but since you can ship her with finn (black) or you could ship finn and poe (black and latino actors) if you’re not into either you’re problematic. too bad that if you ship finn and poe (WHICH I DO) these days it’s... let’s just say I’ve seen a list of ‘problematic f/p writers’ where the reasons for the PROBLEMATIC was that they took a fluff ship and wrote it dubcon. oKAY. also pre tlj fandom was full of block lists for r/eylo shippers where you’d get the name plus ALL REASONS WHY THEY HAD TO BE HARASSED OUT OF FANDOM which you will imagine does not sit well with me since that’s... like... the most fascist thing you could do (NO REALLY BAN LISTS OF PERSONE NON GRATAE WITH REASONS WHY THEY WERE IS A THING THAT HAPPENS IN DICTATORSHIPS AND SOCIETY WHERE EVERYTHING IS CENSORED LIKE BANNED BOOKS) in this circumstance, but hey, if you’re anti-reylo and you’re doing the above you’re just doing the work of the lord because you’re saving people from the Horrible Problematic Ship, and meanwhile I don’t want anything to do with a fandom where people do block lists for how you write your fanfic IN GENERAL. like, concrit is more than welcome but lists? please don’t fucking kid me;

I used r/eylo as an example because it’s the epitome of what anti-shipping ends at, but there’s also sh/eith from voltron which is two guys, with a seven years age gap but both are adults now and were older than 15 when they met, who have the sweetest less problematic relationship ever and people who ship.. the other rival ship decided that it’s pedophilia, SUPPORTS INCEST on the grounds of one of the two tell the other ‘you’re like a brother to me’ SERIOUSLY and that it’s abusive and by shipping it you’re a pedophile. k;

also, this entire thing ties with the fact that these people seem to think that having sex when older than fourteen is somehow bad, which means that if you write someone under the age of 18 (and sometimes NOT EVEN THAT see voltron above) you’re automatically a *pedophile* even if teenagers aren’t children and fictional characters are fictional and never hurt anyone, and that goes hand in hand with the fact that these people seem to largely be against kink;

specifically: ‘bdsm is abusive’ (???), ‘you can’t be a feminist if you like kink’ (OKAY???), ‘if you read/write noncon fanfic you have a problem and you’re terrible’ etc, with a specific subset being against specific kinks that play on a certain angle ie daddy kink and so on which are PEDOPHILIA now, which is again an extremely puritanical way to see the world, not progressive;

at this point we have a situation where a bunch of *antis* specifically target people who are into *problematic* things whether it’s ships, characters, kinks and so on and are going like THINK OF THE CHILDREN half of the time. the children being them, of course.

at this point we have the other discourse we need to have ie about the age and sexuality of the people involved in fandom and why it matters:

now: a lot of fandom is made up of women. it’s statistics. a significant statistical part of the old guard (25+-30+ people ie my generation plus the previous 40+ older generation) is cis women (who can be straight or bi but are attracted to men) who went into fandom writing m/m slash. a significant part of this group is into either problematic ships or kink and such on. but in our understanding of fandom, the key terms were ship and let ship + your kink is not my kink + don’t like don’t read. as in: outside your usual MY SHIP IS BETTER THAN YOURS wank was generally understood that people liked things different than yours and that you had no business being an ass over it, and back in the day warnings were at the beginning - when I went into fandom warnings were not a thing. now there’s warnings everywhere which is GOOD and guess why ao3 was made by... the old guard/old fans, which of course are not very pleased with being told they’re pedophiles or perverts for shipping a thing or, *drum rolls*, that they fetishize gay men by shipping m/m or writing m/m porn, and are fairly vocal about it;

on the other side, this new wave of younger fans who thinks is progressive along with older fans who are assholes/most likely grooming the youngers (because this anti shipping thing is seriously cult-like at this point) calling the old generation all the stuff above and pushing the idea that they want ‘old straight ciswomen out of fandom’ because ‘they have gross ideas and THEY DON’T WANT TO READ OUR GROSS FIC’ and such things. we can also talk for ten years about how the new wave has decided that straight = insult but again, tumblr politics. all goes hand in hand;

so basically the sides are ‘younger fans who thinks they are progressive but are actually being puritan af’ vs ‘older fans who want to do their damned thing’ with some people obviously crossing into the others’s territory;

(and mind that not counting SW, most of the anti drama happens in fandoms for... animated cartoons and the likes - vo/ltron, ste/ven universe and so on, which says a lot about the age discourse, but nvm that);

now, the problem is that by telling some woman older than you that she can’t safely explore her sexual fantasies/kinks in fiction about fake characters you’re basically doing the same thing as policing women’s sexual fantasies that has been going on since the dawn of time, so it’s actually hella misogynist, and the fact that it goes with people saying that you can’t be a feminist who likes kink and that kink is abuse/misogynist... is still policing women’s sexualities, irl and fictionally, and that’s what they’re doing at the end of it;

on top of that, they’re also policing what non-straight, non-female fans who ship problematic stuff do and most of all, there’s the shipping to cope bush of thorns.

about shipping to cope:

now, this entire system had to, at some point, deal with the very true fact that a lot of people who are into problematic stuff/kinks/noncon (not all of them of course) engage with that material to work out their issues - a lot of the time it’s abuse victims writing it to elaborate on their abuse and take control of it and so on and usually... a lot of them aren’t even straight (honestly, almost everyone I know who ships th/ramsay ie noncon torture ship that I personally don’t like myself is... not straight, and a lot of them do ship to cope) and telling them you cannot handle your recovery with whichever system they see fit is... RUDE at best. which is why there’s antis who are like ‘shipping to cope is fine but JUST IF IT’S TO COPE’ which means that in order to be given the green light you have to out yourself and tell people you were abused and other antis who are like ‘SHIPPING TO COPE IS WRONG BECAUSE YOU JUST MAKE IT WORSE’ which is... not a thing that happens to everyone and actually every psychologist worth their salt in the world disagrees (or better: for some people it’s bad to do but for others it’s cathartic, and the latter shouldn’t be not able to do it because the former can’t blacklist or because kids on the internet decided that shipping to cope is bad);

so a lot of antis are actually crossing into the territory of wanting to police how people handle their own experience of abuse (honestly once someone told a friend who explained them from a professional pov the valid of problematic/violent art as a cathartic, healthy way to deal with you shit, and who told them that they were an abuse victim who dealt with it in different ways, to GO ON GOOGLE AND LOOK UP HOW IT WORKS and that person knew shit about it period just to say one) and telling people they can’t process their abuse in THAT way but just in THIS way, feeding into the idea that there’s a right way to process abuse and a wrong way to react to it which in turns becomes good victim vs bad victim;

(and then you wonder why they hate kylo ren... who’s a Bad Victim under the definition of the word but hey whatever)

and this is all thrown under the rug of ‘we need to police problematic attitudes in fandoms’ which is 100% bullshit because if you run into someone specifically problematic you should explain them on a one-on-one basis, not do the witch hunt, and you should never presume to police how people handle their own shit, never mind that 90% of the time the so-called problematic material is consumed by a small percentage of people and you can choose to like, not read it;

and by the way, 90% of the actually problematic fandom trends don’t get called out because it wouldn’t be progressive (I can talk for ages about how it’s really worrying that ppl headcanon characters as X following stereotypes that are actually hurtful for the category in question but since the hc = a minority then it’s always okay) but that’s an entire other problem;

tldr: the anti side, as much as they want to think they’re not doing it, are actively policing the content that other people put online based on supposed ‘moral’ standards which 90% of the time aren’t even true (a 16yo in a relationship with a 20yo is NOT pedophilia period) and even going as far as ‘I’ll press charges to the FBI because X wrote underage fic’ when according to the US law if it’s fictional characters it doesn’t count as such and it only does if real recognizable minors are involved (and in that case it shouldn’t be happening in the first place) and those people might be whoever, and for all they support feminism they also end up being incredibly misogynist.

or, just because I like to use my own experiences as an example: this year I had the horrid idea of replying to a post made obviously by anti people where I told them that straight women writing m/m ie what they’re attracted to of course have more in common with a guy into guys in that sense and not with a lesbian since they’re not attracted to women and that writing m/m wasn’t inherently fetishizing shit. since then I’ve had people:

informing me I MUST have internalized homophobia

assuming shit about my sex life that wasn’t even true including which positions I like in bed (because of course straight women only identify with the gay bottom so they’re capitalizing off that experience when some of us don’t)

assuming I was disgusted at the idea of writing lesbian sex (false, I wrote it when I was in the mood)

informing me that writing fanfic about canonical m/m characters wasn’t activism and I shouldn’t presume I was one for that (I never said I considered it such) but at the same time these people think reporting incest fic to ao3 is... activism, but nvm that

telling me that I was a sad old bitch who needed to find a husband and grow up (I MEAN NOT EVEN IN THE FIFTIES) (I’m 29 btw hardly old) because it was the only way my life could have had sense

informing me that of course I was that horrible since I’m italian and all italians beat their wives (NOT XENOPHOBIC AT ALL)

accusing me of writing torture porn with gay characters to get off (never wrote torture porn once in my life, not with gay characters nor any character)

(most ppl I know into torture porn aren’t straight btw)

telling me that I didn’t understand my own attraction to men

assuming that my parents must have thrown me out of the house at some point, that I had no friends and that I never got laid

and in another occasion I got sent fanart of a ship that I said upset me because I had the gall to tell people to leave the shippers alone but hey what do I know

and a bunch of other stuff I won’t bother you with but that to me sounds hella misogynist (I mean, GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND FIND A HUSBAND, srsly?). spoilers: I never write noncon, I’m into a few kinks but most are literally harmless, the wildest thing I’m into writing is... 100% consensual d/s sex, the most problematic thing I’m into is thor/loki and I hadn’t shipped it until I realized that... it was cathartic (ps: no, I don’t think irl incest is okay as a general thing) and for the rest I’m famous for... being the person who almost never kills people in fandom X°D I mean, I got that shit and I laughed about it, but what if they sent it to an abuse victim or someone who actually got kicked out of the house? who knows, but sure af they only seem to care about victims when it’s convenient to them and when the victims agree. *shrug* but the above is absolutely okay if you tell that to a straight cis woman who doesn’t particularly feel like writing f/f sex (which is ANOTHER plot point but never mind that I can’t possibly go into how tumblr has decided that f/f relationships without sex are the Thing Everyone Should Aspire To and everything else is a problem including lesbians having kinky sex). anyway, that was all antis. heck, a round of the shit above was started because an anti-ship blog found an oldass ask related to that wank, so.

tldr: the point is that we’re always talking about the same old dumb fandom war ie my ship is better than yours and my fave is better than yours, but now the arguments aren’t just about ships, are about which one is most moral or pure or non-problematic and if you dare being into anything else for your own reasons in your own life (I forgot friends who’ve been told they abuse their partners because they’re into kink, WHAT A DAY) when the *else* is fictional (ie doesn’t exist) and you don’t even do the thing irl or would want to but just want to explore it fictionally, then you are that problematic thing and so *you* are problematic and guess what, there’s a nice witch hunt starting and -

ops.

HOW SURPRISED I AM.

I mean, it’s 90% wanting to censor people and all of that time it’s useless that they dress it as ‘FIGHTING PEDOPHILES’ because thing is, now that everyone rolls their eyes at it because you think ‘right, real pedophiles or people who ship the wrong voltron ship,’ actual pedophiles have free reign and actually whenever I see a post to report a real one it has very little notes in comparison to OMG REY/LO IS PROBLEMATIC and stuff, and the one time I got linked one I checked because I didn’t trust tumblr and let me tell you I wish I didn’t. anti shipping or being anti kink is just... 90% wanting to be puritans without knowing that you’re a puritan and you’re still policing women’s sexualities and abuse victims’s reactions and you’re not helping anyone.

and you sound like those soccer moms from the 90s who thought playing tekken made their kids violent or that marilyn manson’s music caused the columbine shootings which is a thing that has been disproved since two weeks after it happened. and these people have no idea that media influences you to the point you let it and that fiction is not reality. *shrug* and that was my offer to this contribution, I know I’ll get roasted at this point but I’m beyond giving two fucks at this point. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[nautiscarader]

Kim Possible season 3 recap

And here is part 3 of my KP marathon notes. Obligatory thanks to @fereality-indy for encouraging me to watch this awesome show. 

So, what will happen this this time? Will Kim Possible save another kitten from a tree? Will Ron discover something better than nachos? Will Doctor Drakken release the Krakken? Will Shego puncture her ego? Will Lord Monkeyfist buy Club Banana just because he is bonkers? Will Duff Killigan finally score?

So, let’s see what’s the first big problem KP has to deal with!

Kim being alone on a Friday evening. Okay.

Also, amusingly, everyone is doing something on a Friday evening, including the villians. 

Motorhead turns out to be Drakken’s cousin. okay.

And people know the address of Draken’s lair bc of mailing list

See, it’s the little touches like those that make this show a very accurate portrayal of superheroes and villians. 

KP gets jealous of Ron’s friend in wheelchair because they spend too much time together playing video games, so she has to find a way to “fit in”.

Okay, so they can approach it in a sensible and subtle, or so-cringe-worthy-and-painful-the-skip-button-presses-itself way.

So, which did they choose?

painful it is

Few stupid scenes later, Draken STEALs THE WHEELCHAIR FROM A DISABLED KID

shego: what’s next, stealing lolipop from a baby?

and there is a brilliant running joke about it

is it ableist to say that a joke about disabled person is “running”? Well, this is tumblr you gotta be carfeul

Anyway, turns out that Drakken and Jake the Dog make an actual competent combo, even though they end up in prison. And momma Lipski is still clueless about her son’s profession

Next ep: KIM CHANGED HER HAIR! and she looks cute

Ron is a pickle, but that’s normal

Draken and shego steal moodulators (get it?) from random scientist #464

Shego: if you are so smart why do you always steal instead of inventing things yourself

Draken: it’s called outsourcing, shego

God d amit, that is a smart show. 

And of course moodultaors accidentally fall on KP and SHego, so they act random throughout the day. And boy it is weird when it’s set to loveskick

Shego: steals lolipop from a baby for Drakken because she luvs him

KP turns into  a proper stalker mode for her Ronnie

And Monique is completely fine with it. 

and then kim KISSED him!!!

OMG NOSEBLEED

And then poor Ron has no idea what to do with dating KP so suddenly, and the whole scene where he debates what to do is absolute gold with a punchline that defies expectations. 

Draken and Shego go on a date and boy it is weird. SHE CATWALKS TO HIM

I can already see Disney censors thinking when it’s going to be too much for The Mouse

and kim’s dad threatens to send ron to a black hole when he takes her on a date

Also the random professor wants to sell his no-longer-existent moodulaTors on auction and he thinks about blaming it on the mail. You know, i’ve seen some approaches how to handle a world where superheroes/villians/geniuses live in our society (like in BNHA, for example), but KP so far makes it the best approach, because it makes them so relatable. 

And boy the finale is satisfying because everything completely backfires

Shego and KP got stuck in an anGry mode, and chase their boys. Ron tries to hide in the same place as drakken

Drakken: Dibs!

Ron: Double dibs!

Drakken: all right, you won with your superior dib-calling (ACTUAL QUOTE)

And the day is saved thanks to the power of friendship and not that Kp and ron are definitely in love with each other

KP, Ron, Drakken and Shego somehow manage to get into Tv, where they visit parodies of famous shows

Honestly, meh. I remember a similar episode of Teen Titans, that one was funny as heck.

and then we find out who’s the real villian of the middleton high: THE SCARY LIBRARIAN!

And turns out Ron accidentally put a book Kim rented in his backpack, causing her to get into trouble doing library duties. 

So he goes on a mission to revisit all of the bad guys they fought to see where he might have left it

Okay: calling it now, it’s still in his backpack

Shego: Where’s Possible?

Ron: She’s not my girlfriend!

Shego: Never said she was. 

And Ron accidentally saves the world on that book hunt

Lord Monkey:Ron Stoppable!

Ron: You’re the only one, who remembers my name, I respect that

Okay, so Wade can make stuff invisible. Like, how?

And there we go: the book it was in his backpack all the time. 

Oh, and Ron takes a book from Lord Monkeymonkey contaning a spirit of a monkey demon.

And he returns to the library, saving Kim from being bored to death by retunring the book. 

GUESS WHICH ONE HE RETURNED.

Oh, it was another half-episode. Weird. 

And the next one is about giant bugs. Interesting how Kim tells Ron not to be afraid of bugs, and next moment she’s all squirmish while Ron befriends a giant roach and calls him Roachie. 

KP: Ron, did you start working on the project? it was supposed to be autobiographical

ron: No, I’m waiting for it to write itself.

WE MIGHT GET RUFUS’ BACKSTORY!

Oh, and Drakken tried to take over the world with shampoo. Honestly, it’s funny as heck

he tries smarty mart to sell it

he even makes loreal-style ad, but it doesn’t sell

so he tries product placement in a hip hop song, and the artists is like “Aw, hell no”

And then 

and then

turns out that Shego and Drakken are having karaoke night every friday.

God dammit, i don’t know why but that is beyond funny

and turns out that Drakken can sing. 

and shego points out that he could sing about the shampoo

so he goes to an american idol

And I think I realise what really makes it funny: Kp is barely in this episode, helping ron with homework. No evil-doing is actually done, we only get to see, for the most part what goes behind the scenes of an evil plan that is so insanely and unnecessary convoluted it is beyond belief. 

OH, AND kp GETS TO RIVAL HIM ON STAGE, OF COURSE.

people hypnotised by the shampoo so far: one (1) random henchman

one (1) old TV producer in a sauna 

one (1) Simon Cowell

And...holy shit, his song is actually good. 

And instead of KP, who is busy fighting the mean lean green machine, Ron sings about Rufus. The song is titled “Naked Mole Rap”. And it is FREAKING PHENOMENAL.

Oh, add one (1) Shego to the list. 

Okay, so far that is the most crazy episode. Like, seriously, the quality was through the roof.

SCRATCH THAT NEXT EP is EVEN WEIRDER

So, the Team Impossible, which we have learned about in the movie, is angry at KP for saving the world for free, whereas they actually charge people for it. 

And they try to cut Kim from all of her world-traveling assets and knock her out of competition.

THAT IS FUCKING V ILE

And they hack Wade

AND TURNS OUT YOU DON’T FUCK WITH WADE

YOU DON’T CUT THEIR INTERNET CABLES OF A NERD

SINCE THIS IS ONE WAY TO MAKE AN OBESE SUPER GENIOUS  WALK OUT OF THEIR ROOM

AND HE LOOKS SO FREAKING BAD-ASS WHEN HE STORMS INTO THEIR HEADQUATERS

aaand TI is defeated the same way they would have been defeated had they answered the call. 

Pretty funny, and it does go into the details of how on Earth superheroes work in this world. 

And we have another episode about the secret ninja high school Ron was sent to 

And Yori travels to US for Ron 

And Kim is super jelaus

Wade: Kim, you are jelly

Kim: So not

Monique: You are jelly 

Kim: So not

Kim: *is jelly*

So she pretty much stalks Ron all the way to the school, and nearly fails the mission of trying to save the levitating magical jedi principal. Seriously, he’s OP as fuck.

And he’s escaping from a huge monkey. turns out it’s crazy dna lady who turned herself  into monkey for Lord Britishmonkey. 

Next episode is bascially one huge satire on the movie industry, down to the title (”and The mole rat will be CGI”). KIm and Ron accidentally crash a movie set, after Senior Senior Junior crashes it first since he accidentally applied for a role of a henchman in said movie. 

It was supposed to be set in Britian, but the movie set was in New Zealand, since “it was cheaper”

And I was like 

Is that a “Lord of The rings” joke? Someone tell me if I’m right.

Oh, and we have another long episode WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE?

And it looks like it’s a three-part episode again, I wonder if the formula’s gonna work again. 

The beginning feels like a short promo scene for people who might not know what KP is about, and I’m not gonna lie, this sums it up perfectly. Action, drama, explosions, more drama, goofy ron, naked mole rat kicking ass and more drama. By the way, what;s the title? 

I guess the intro is an homage to the James Bond ones, with lots of colourful, surreal visuals floating in the background to the soothing, slow music. Love it, too bad it’s short, but again, it had to fit an episode’s running time.

 wait so the Nakasumi president CAN speak English? Even the movie calls him wacky for whispering all the time as if he couldn’t. 

Okay, now the movie just fucks with us. 

mr and mrs possible almost switch their cloaks with important documents, but she switches them back just at the last moment

mr posible ALMOST deletes his work file worth three billion dollars but undos it at the last moment.

it’s like the plot TRIES to start itself

And I bet the key is under the doormat

So the dating drama IS going to be the theme of the movie, huh. 

Wade: Drakken has been spotted in the Bermuda triangle

Bermuda triangle: *turns out to be a hotel*

And Ron just happened to have his suit under the scuba diving gear.

Shego proves to be once again, way more competent than Drakken.

and we have obligatory fight between two kickass ladies in dresses and high heels. This IS a James Bond movie. 

So, the prom drama continues, and it is sadly kinda goes into the cringe territory, with some new dude falling in love with Kim and Kim falling for him, Ron feeling sad, they both being conflicted, yep, seen it. 

But for once Drakken helps the cause and moves the plot forward, stealing some super project from dr Possible.

he deletes the file like he did in the opening, but GASP drakken has some mind reading machine

I do wonder if the coat switcheroo is going to be part of the plot. 

Holy shit

Drakken’s plan is so crazy that it actually makes sense. Take over the buneo nachos and put kiddy meals in it with robot toys that take over the world. And neither kim nor Shego could have forseen it. 

And more prom drama. Ugh. 

I always like when Possible family work together to stop the evil-doers.

So Drakken’s plan was brilliant, minus the part when the entire army of robots shuts down when the signal goes off-line. Kinda a major fuck-up. 

And they kindapped Kim’s boyfriend to lure her.  

OH, SO HE WAS A SYNTH ROBOT

I genuinely didn’t see that coming. 

Drakken learns Ron’s name, yeah! And it’s shot like Drakken’s yelling a curse to the skies, love it. 

Also, HOLY SHIT, Kim kicks Shego into the tower so hard it looks like she was about to kill her. Like, that was genuinely chilling moment, especially with an ominous, lightning-filled close-up onto her later.

Spoiler: she didn’t die. 

Okay, colour me confused: I didn’t think that Kim and Ron were going to kiss and start dating now, I thought this movie was going to be one huge prequel to a movie by the end of S4. Or more precisely, it feels weird NOW, knowing that there is a whole season ahead of me. Cos that felt like a pretty good end of a series, something akin to the Last Airbender one, so I’m slightly concerned how it’s going to be played into season 4, cos this can go haywire pretty easily. 

Uh, not going to lie, I’ve got mixed feelings about the movie. On one hand, it gave us a proper evil plan from Drakken, one that attacks Kim psychologically, showing that for once, he DID his homework and actually studied Kim’s behaviour. On the other, the prom/dating drama is kinda painful to watch, but fortunately gets resolved in the end. Maybe it’s just me, but I had the same expression as Rufus when he and Ron said that guys don’t talk about feelings. It felt kinda clumsy and not subtle at all, and what’s worse, the show itself did way better job of portraying romance in previous episodes, most notably the moodulator one. But as I said, those last few scenes with Ron and Kim fighting together does make up for it. 

also, Rufus once again is the unspoken hero. He did so freaking much, including, but not limited to: saving ron from the tentacle monster, freeing kim and ron, defeating the synth boyfriend, pushing Kim and Ron together... He really is a badass.    

So, not a bad one, though I preferred the first movie. Also, on the whole Season 3 was significantly shorter than second. Wonder what’s gonna happen in the next season.  

[re-peopled-blog]

Thank You So Much

Dear Dad,

The good news is that your negativity has backfired. 

The bad news is that you no longer have the right to control my internet footprint. I mean, that’s bad news for you, because you don't have the password to this tumblr account, so you can't censor my thoughts and feelings like you did for the first eighteen years of my life. 

You’ve probably noticed that I’m not speaking with you anymore. I left you a voicemail asking for you to never contact me again. I still stand by this request.

In no way are these posts an invitation for you to come back into my life. It has taken a whole lot of work to get myself to the heal from the wounds you inflicted upon this brain and body. Your toxic behavior is real; and it isn't just me who has been affected by your hubris.

There were all the women before my mom, and then my mom. There was Andrea. 

Big shout out to Andrea. She was the first woman you dated who could see your toxicity with the clarity of a strong ass feminist. 

Do you remember my eighteenth birthday? 

I told you that I wanted to dye my hair blonde over two glasses of merlot while we were waiting for Andrea to arrive at the restaurant for my birthday dinner. Your response was, “Don't be bitchy.” 

A little later that night, I told Andrea what you had said. She stuck up for me like a true ally. I felt her see you slowly crushing what little self respect I had at the time. She was the first woman you dated who decided to do something about your misogyny. I am forever grateful for her presence in my life. 

Do you remember Drew’s graduation party? 

I was too old to be sucking my thumb - fourth grade, I think. My thumb was my comfort mechanism. It helped me deal with your rage when I was far away from mom, stuck with you for the weekend, every weekend. You scared me because you knew it was effective in keeping me quiet. However, now that I am an adult, you no longer inspire the same fear. Now you inspire a deep mixture of pity and curiosity. 

On the morning of his graduation party, you woke me up with your giant video camera and sound equipment. I remember smiling because I thought I was special and loved. After I was fully awake - thumb out of mouth - sleep wiped away from my eyes - you turned off the camera. Then you told me that if I misbehaved at Drew’s party, you would show the video of me sucking my thumb to everyone at the party. 

What the hell were you thinking?

As an adult, I am no longer ashamed of my thumb sucking. My straight teeth were earned though headgear, rubber bands, and braces. The pain was intense, the social isolation great, but I persevered. Now I question the idea of cosmetic dentistry altogether - but that is a whole other discussion. 

What I want to focus on here is your absurd reasoning behind blackmailing your child. 

Who does that? Correction: who does that to care for a sensitive, naive, anxious little being that happens to be their flesh and blood? 

For years and years after that incident, I feared the unearthing of that video. I was petrified that my peers would see me as pathetic, childish, and buck-toothed. You have no idea how your decision to film me that morning affected my whole being. 

It has taken a lot of time for me to understand that you didn't care about me in that situation. You wanted a doll to show off in front of all the adults at the graduation party. In some respects, your plan worked. 

But, as I type this letter, I realize how badly your blackmail backfired. You’ll never know my friends, or my fiancé, or our future adopted children. Your collective parenting decisions have led to a permanently locked door that once was the entrance to a lovely father-daughter relationship. 

You're locked out of my life because I have enough of these tragedies to start a blog: this blog. Get ready for a long ride for which you have already paid the tab. 

Love,

Puddin’

[tricksterchris]

NOOO WHERE DID YOU GOOOO D,:>

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like teenlock, and johnlock.

Stranger: [The pair met each other on a chatroom, and have been friends for quite some time. They've never seen what the other looks like, but are still both flirty. They don't know that they know each other in person. Would love a bully!John, as in he teases Sherlock at school, but not necessary! Just have him come around, or realize who he is. Sherlock is baybeeboy and John is whatever you choose! They know each other by Will and Hamish] baybeeboy is now online! baybeeboy: Sure do love getting my arse kicked again. Don't they ever get bored of this? [17]

You: TheDoctorIsHere: What happened today? :(

Stranger: baybeeboy: I bumped into a bloke in the halls, and he got pissed. All he did then was shove me against them, but he caught me on the way to ballet. baybeeboy: The dressing rooms are right across the hall from where they store their rugby equipment. baybeeboy: He grabbed me and took me outside behind the building, beat my arse, and knocked me out. I just woke up. I've been out for over two hours.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Oh God, tell me, please, tell that you told someone. TheDoctorIsHere: I really want to beat the shit out of that bloke right now.

Stranger: baybeeboy: Are you kidding? No one would believe me. baybeeboy: There's a rumor going around that I stalk people, video their lives and shit. That's how I know so much about them. baybeeboy: They wouldn't help me. baybeeboy: I'm walking home. Taking the long way, though. Don't wanna walk through town. I look like I just killed someone.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I believe you, Will. TheDoctorIsHere: I hate that you don't feel safe, I'd love to be with you right now. :( TheDoctorIsHere: We would go to your place and I'd make tea while you analyze me and do deduction about my whole life, it'd be awesome!

Stranger: baybeeboy: I want to be with you, too, angel. baybeeboy: I've made deductions about you hundreds of times, Mish.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: But I never got to hear your voice while you were making them! TheDoctorIsHere: I'd probably be with my mouth opened the whole time because you're amazing.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I doubt you'd be able to understand me. baybeeboy: I already talk fast, but with the French accent on top of that, you'd be lost.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Well, I think the French accent is quite sexy and I bet my ass your voice is amazingly pleasant to hear. TheDoctorIsHere: I'd have my mouth opened for something else I guess... ;)

Stranger: baybeeboy: Hamish!

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Oopsy! TheDoctorIsHere: Are you home yet? I'm getting a bit worried.

Stranger: baybeeboy: No, not yet. I haven't even left the school yet. My bike is out front. baybeeboy: I'm not even going to be able to ride it.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: That fucking bastard, I hope I'll never find out who he is or I'll go to jail for sure.

Stranger: baybeeboy: You get in too many fights already.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I know, Will, but I'd do that for you.

Stranger: baybeeboy: You don't have to. baybeeboy: Get in any fights today?

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I just got a black eye, nothing to worry about.

Stranger: baybeeboy: What happened?

You: TheDoctorIsHere: There was this group of morons around this boy and they were spitting on him, calling him a whore, kicking him. TheDoctorIsHere: I had to do something! Fortunately I just got punched in the eye.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I think me and that kid would get along great.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I didn't even get to know his name, as soon as the fight was over he rushed away. TheDoctorIsHere: He reminded me a bit of you, well, what I think you look like. TheDoctorIsHere: Maybe not as tall or with hair as curly.

Stranger: baybeeboy: Same thing happened to me, today, and then I got beat up later. baybeeboy: They ruined my jumper. baybeeboy: Your jumper.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Why didn't you tell me about this? TheDoctorIsHere: Why, why am I here at school when you need someone with you? I feel useless.

Stranger: baybeeboy: Angel... baybeeboy: You've helped me so much. You know that, right?

You: TheDoctorIsHere: You keep saying that and I trust you but... I need to hold you and tell you with my own voice that you're safe and sound with me. TheDoctorIsHere: That is so cheesy, I'm so sorry.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I love you so much, Mish.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I love you too, Will. TheDoctorIsHere: I just ran to the bathroom 'cause I started crying, everybody gave me funny looks.

Stranger: baybeeboy: Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: No, no, oh God Will, absolutely not! TheDoctorIsHere: I just got a bit emotional. TheDoctorIsHere: I'm looking at myself in the bathroom mirror and my eye looks gross, this makes thinking about not being with you a bit better, you'd find it disgusting.

Stranger: baybeeboy: Are you kidding? No, I wouldn't. baybeeboy: There's nothing wrong with crying. I do it all the time. Ha. baybeeboy: I'm the one who looks disgusting. The jumper is soaked through with blood.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I'm going to ditch this class, I want to be focused on you right now. TheDoctorIsHere: Where are you right now? Should I call the ambulance?

Stranger: baybeeboy: Misha, calm down. I'm okay. You worry too much. baybeeboy: Halfway home.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Okay, I'm on my way home, I said that my eye hurts too much to focus. TheDoctorIsHere: The only thing I want to do right now is making you feel loved and safe.

Stranger: [have you sent something? sorry my power went down earlier and my wifi is struggling]

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Okay, I'm on my way home, I said that my eye hurts too much to focus. TheDoctorIsHere: The only thing I want to do right now is making you feel loved and safe. (here you go :D)

Stranger: baybeeboy: You always make me feel both of those things. [thanks!]

You: TheDoctorIsHere: What about some "cyber-cuddling"? sounds a bit sad but it could be fun.

Stranger: baybeeboy: How do we do that?

You: TheDoctorIsHere: It's like sexting, but more kid-friendly.

Stranger: baybeeboy: It sounds confusing and perfect.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Just like us. TheDoctorIsHere: Just got home, I'm ready to lay in my bed with your scarf and never get up again.

Stranger: baybeeboy: Your jumper doesn't smell like you anymore. baybeeboy: I wore it today because I've been having a bad week. I guess it was sort of a bad idea, since it's white. baybeeboy: I wish it wasn't dirty. I wish I didn't wear it today at all, so I could go home and wear it.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I'll send you another one as soon as I can, Will, I promise. TheDoctorIsHere: Even if I wish I could just give it to you in person.

Stranger: baybeeboy: By the way, I think my webcam came in. We can finally Skype, once I get it set up. baybeeboy: I'd suggest today, but... I don't look good.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: That's awesome, love! TheDoctorIsHere: I bet you're beautiful anyway.

Stranger: baybeeboy: Mish, I really look like I got hit by a truck.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: To my eyes you'll always look beautiful, Will.

Stranger: baybeeboy: You'll cry.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Maybe a little. But I'd take care of you and your wounds, kissing every inch of your body.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I wish you were here with me now.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I know, I want it so bad. TheDoctorIsHere: What would you do if I was there?

Stranger: baybeeboy: Cry. A lot. baybeeboy: I wouldn't let go of you.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I would't want you to let me go. TheDoctorIsHere: I'd kiss away every tear and I would hold you telling you how amazing and beautiful you are.

You: (do you have tumblr/skype/telegram? This rp is really good!)

Stranger: baybeeboy: I need you so badly right now. baybeeboy: I thought I was getting better, but I'm not. [i have an email, if that works?]

You: (perfect! Mine is censored af

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I love you so much and I need you so bad.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I'm not even home yet. I keep having to take a break, catch my breath. baybeeboy: I love you, Mish. [great!]

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I'm so worried about you I'm shaking, I think I'll go for a walk wearing your scarf.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I'm so sorry. I don't mean to worry you. baybeeboy: Take deep breaths, yeah?

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Okay, I'm breathing, I'm still going for a walk so I don't feel so useless. TheDoctorIsHere: I'm out now, I feel a bit better, still shaking, but better.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I can stop talking about it, yeah? I always make you panic when I do, and I feel bad.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: No, you have ti talk about it, you can keep it all inside. TheDoctorIsHere: It's not as bad as the last time, you don't have to worry, love.

Stranger: baybeeboy: I'm so sorry. baybeeboy: I'm going to stop talking about it. All I ever do it make you worry.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: Don't you dare, don't you fucking dare. TheDoctorIsHere: I need to know how you are, I'd be more worried if I don't.

Stranger: [...] baybeeboy: Okay. I'm sorry. baybeeboy: I didn't mean to make you upset, Mish.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: I'm not upset, love. [...]TheDoctorIsHere: I can see the boy that I rescued at school, he looks devastated.

Stranger: baybeeboy: You should go talk to him.

You: TheDoctorIsHere: He needs help, I'm going. TheDoctorIsHere: I'll be right back love, he looks like he's about to faint. John walks over to the tall dark haired boy as he pockets his phone. "Hey!" John says to get his attention as he walks next to him.

Stranger: It had never, ever been this bad. His head was killing him, and he was nearly certain his ribs were broken. If Hamish knew how bad he was, he knew he'd be in an even bigger panic. He decided it was best not to say anything. Hearing the voice, a panic rushed through him, afraid they had followed him. He turned around, growing dizzier as he spun around. He kept a firm hold on his bike, but relaxed when he saw it was the boy had helped him earlier. If only he had been there for the real beating. Sherlock gave him a tiny smile, nodding to him. "Hello," he murmured, his accent thick. "Do you need something?" he asked, then, nervously.

You: John looks at him feeling his heart sink. He gets a bit closer as the boy turned around, ready to catch him, he really looks like he's about to faint. "No I... I just saw you and I was wondering if you needed help soooo... do you need help?" John licks his lips a bit nervous, this boy looks gorgeous even in this state. He lower his gaze blushing a little. "I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner when they were beating you up"

Stranger: Sherlock shuffled slightly, trying to focus on the boy in front of him. He blinked, lifting a hand to rub at his eyes. "That - yeah, um - I live kinda far, though," he muttered, taking a shaky breath. He smiled slightly as he saw the scarf he was wearing; it looked just like the one he mailed Hamish. "It's okay. Really. It happens all the time," he assured, blinking up at him. "I have a scarf like that. Well, I used to. I gave it away, though."

You: John bites his bottom lip before he looks up at him again. "You have a bike, we can ride it together if you can hold on to me" John frowns sadly at those words. "Well... I'm John Watson and I'll be glad to help you getting out of it" He looks down at Will's scarf smiling sadly before noticing the other boy jumper. "Your jumper looks really familiar too, it's a shame that is dirty... I mailed a similar one to my boyfriend"

Stranger: It was strange, really, hearing that the other had mailed his boyfriend a jumper like his, just like Hamish did, but he supposed it was a common jumper. Sherlock smiled slightly, nodding and handing the handlebars over to him. "This is my boyfriend's, actually," he said with a small laugh, fingers curling into the fabric. "I feel bad, since it's clearly ruined. Gonna take a lot of work to get it cleaned up." Sherlock sighed, realizing then that he hadn't introduced himself. "I'm Sherlock. I'd say my friends call me Will, but my only friend is my boyfriend." He smiled slightly, managing another sad chuckle.

You: That's odd, the boy, Sherlock, has a boyfriend who mailed a jumper identical to the one he gave to Will and his boyfriend calls him Will. "Your... your boyfriend has really good taste" John says looking at him curiously. The dark haired boy even has a thick French accent, really strange. "I'm John, but usually I go by Hamish, you know, there are plenty of John and it gets confusing, especially at school"

Stranger: Sherlock froze, looking back to the other. Hamish. He had known Watson was his last name. This was his Hamish. "Mish." He took a moment to look over him, fingers ringing nervously at the jumper that nearly swallowed him whole. He just needed to be sure. As he studied him, tears began to pool up in his eyes, and he drew his gaze back to him. "I ruined your jumper," he murmured, taking a shaky breath.

You: John eyes widens in shock and he starts to shake a little. "Oh my God... Will" He looks at him as he feels his eyes watering. "I-it's okay, I promised you I'll send you one as soon as I can, love" John says, he hears his voice cracking before he giggles. "This is crazy"

[lovesjinkiblog]

I hope the “keep reading” link helps from flooding your dash with this. i’m just really angry about something and I need to rant but cannot do it on my main tumblr because i’m done fighting about it.

fighting with American pro gun conservatives last night was so exhausting. the gun culture in this country is so bad, like they’re not even willing to compromise. they legitimately told me liberal demo’s are less prone to violence when they’re shot in the face (yesterday a Sanders supporter shot ppl at the Republican baseball game.... which he condemned and spoke about right away... unlike 45 who has yet to condemn white supremacists that inflict violence and openly support him) and if you think about that, what a dumb and contradictory statement. they’ll call me a typical liberal for blocking these people but sometimes i feel like i honestly cannot exercise my right to freedom of speech. because who’s to tell who’s rational and not violent anymore? we can disagree on certain things but I have that lil fear that one of them will find me and literally shoot me in the face. it got very hostile when my fellow “opponent“ told me my mother missed with the coat hanger and badgered me for proof/evidence on how hate crimes have increased since trump took office or about white supremacists and their friendship with 45 when:

1. it’s sad they’re JUST hearing about this..... like this is not even remotely new

2. i’m not their fucking search browser. Google is free. shit is exhausting.

3. what the fuck is the point anyway, they’re just going to call it fake news. They’re THAT brainwashed.... but it’s not like I don’t agree that our media can be heavily censored but COMMMMEEEE OOOOOONNNN “alternative facts” my ass

either way I caved and sent links and yet, none of them have properly responded to it other than the anonymous message I got about shooting liberals in the face. Thanks. Makes me feel SOOOO much better about ppl having more access to firearms than healthcare because you cannot be mentally stable if you’re saying shit like that, just like that Sanders supporter.... we all condemn his actions and agree with Sanders that we cannot resort to violence if we wish to fix how things are.

 I still don’t see why stricter gun laws would be a bad idea, i’m not an idiot and I know America will never be without guns and I’m not saying they should be banned entirely. I just don’t think it should be so easy to access firearms... why would back up checks/mental evaluations be a bad idea? if you want to own something that can literally kill someone in an instant, you should be mentally suitable to have such thing. I think certain TYPES of guns SHOULD be banned though, like guns that don’t have any purpose but to kill/blast people’s heads off.. such as guns made for war and combat. And out of everyone, I think Bernie Sanders is super rational about this issue, as he hunts and owns firearms. If you don’t know his position on gun control, you should look into it. A lot of Trump supporters just don’t know. I know there are other issues that bleed into it.... like mental health but like I said, until we can properly figure out how to HELP these people and NOT stigmatize them and be able to PROPERLY provide them with help and maybe not violence, like we have been doing thus far (obviously not working) I see don’t see why stricter gun laws wouldn’t help. Not to mention no one that fights me on this gives me any better solution, you say it’s mainly just a mental health issue? well then why are the majority of you supporting someone who wants to rip healthcare away from millions of Americans. What else can be done for people who are suffering from mental health issues? I’m sick of seeing gun violence happening every day. There were TWO separate incidents yesterday alone. You would think after Newtown, CT there would’ve been SOMETHING implemented (20 kids.... babies... plus teachers massacred by a psychopath... a literal psychopath) and yet people are too obsessed with their guns to do anything nor want to do anything because they don’t believe guns are an issue. Less now with the president we have. I’m just really sick of it. This is something I care about because if you really think of it, there’s nowhere you can be that’s safe anymore. Your life could be over anywhere, at any time. And I know it’s not always guns that inflict domestic terror, fear and violence, but it’s almost always the go-to weapon of choice. It’s just not the America I would want my children living in

i’m pro life in that sense and that sense alone.

[cookinguptales]

Oh god, I forgot to post the end of year writing meme. So here it is about a week late. I wrote so goddamn much this year. I never expected karabita fandom to just kind of. Happen. haha. It was weird going through my fics and thinking about things like good lines or good summaries. I wonder if anyone who reads the fics remember lines better than I do? It feels weird thinking about someone having a favorite fic of mine or a favorite line from one of my fics or something. After all this time, I still kind of think, like, “well, no one’s really reading/enjoying/remembering what I write” so it’s odd to think of my fics inside someone else’s head. I guess that’s what they’re for, though...

Anyway, my fics this year were full of a lot of ups and downs. If anyone wants to talk about any of them, or you have any questions or anything, it was really fun looking back through them and I’m kind of nostalgic now. lol

(under a cut bc wow this is long)

End-of-Year Writing Meme for 2016.

Stats

Total Word Count: 144,500 on AO3, but probably about 5k more if you count all the fics on Tumblr. I’m…setting aside the nonfiction. So let’s just say 150k.

Total Completed Fics: 44 on AO3, christ

Ship/character/fandom breakdown:

Just going for the ones on AO3 now, so add several more karabita Tumblr fics and and I think some danganronpa, gravity falls, muppets, and maybe SU? I can’t remember all the non-Osomatsu ficlets I wrote this year. On AO3, though, 34 Osomatsu-san fics, all karabita I think. One also contained Ichimatsu/Xmas Couple and Jyushimatsu/Homura. Two fics for Arsenic and Old Lace, both gen. Two Danganronpa fics, Ishimaru/Mondo and Gundham/Sonia. One Gravity Falls fic, Stan-centric gen. One Scooby Doo fic, gen. One Pokemon Go fic, gen. One The Final Girls fic, Vicki/Gertie. Two Muppets fics, both Bunsen/Beaker. Jeez.

Specifics

Best/worst title?

Best… I had a couple I’m fond of. Probably “The Road Not Taken (Again and Again and Again)”, “Six Sips of Strychnine”, or…god, a lot of these are puns. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that some of the pun ones, like “Fowl Play” and “A Ghost of a Chance” and “The Pokemon Trade” are the best and the worst. I’m also not thrilled with “Love’s Carriers”.

Best/worst summary?

Hmm. Frankly, I don’t think I’m very good at summaries. “There is a difference between living and surviving. Karamatsu hovers between the two.” wasn’t too bad. And both “Karamatsu knows that Chibita is drunk, but it's a little hard to take the moral high road with a hand on his dick.” and “Sometimes when two men love each other very much and one man is kidnapped by some aliens and some [censored] [censored] stuff happens, a beautiful miracle is created.” made me laugh. “Sometimes Karamatsu can see the choices he didn’t make, and ones he’s sure he did.” is probably the best, though.

Worst…uh… Most of them… My summaries are so half-assed. Probably either “Chibita loves his new dog, but Karamatsu is hiding something. (Spoilers: NO, he is not a werewolf, he's just allergic to dogs.)” or “‘Write a fic where [Karamatsu] eats a salad’ That's it, that's the fic.”

Best first line?

Errr. I have a few that make me laugh. “For a long time, Karamatsu had labored under the blissful delusion that he was basically a good person.” (All’s Fair In Love and Blow Jobs), “After being attacked by a horde of vampires, being held captive in their den of villainy, and becoming a denizen of the night himself, Karamatsu understandably had to make a few lifestyle changes.” (Developing A Taste), “There were some times, some crimes, that made Velma seriously consider getting a day job.” (Fowl Play). (That one in particular makes me laugh, but I don’t think most people got the allusion.)

I also think a couple set the mood pretty well, like “It all began with Karamatsu kneeling on Chibita's floor, head pressed to wood and his wings folded tight against his back, the perfect picture of submission.” (Feathers and Favors) or “Karamatsu stared dully ahead, not entirely sure whether it was the steam or the alcohol that was making his vision swim.” (The Road Not Taken)

Honestly, I think most of my opening lines are pretty good, or at least serviceable.

Best last line(s)?

I just closed all my fic windows. ;~; Honestly, most of my last lines are more like last paragraphs, and kind of sum up the themes of the fic. They don’t always work well outside of them… But this one is probably the funniest without context.

"She really was nothing but a giant chicken.” (Fowl Play)

General questions

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I wrote far, far more than I expected I would. I wrote almost three times as much this year as I have in all the other years put together on this pseud. (Though actually, I think I did write quite a bit on another pseud last year…?)

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I MEAN I FEEL LIKE KARABITA WAS THE DARK HORSE. I wasn’t even that into it when I started writing it!! I kind of became more comfortable writing the pairing as I went, and now I have a million ideas. I think it really was like 90% the support I got from the fandom that made me keep writing. Uh, that and personal stress. lol

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Uhh. I think Feathers and Favors is the one that meant the most to me, but I think Like Moving Parts is my favorite. It feels homey to me.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

GOD haha um probably mouth full of roses, eyes full of stars. I never, ever thought that melodramatic fic would be as popular as it’s become. It was such an experiment. I’m still not really sure why it caught on. Love’s Carriers also shocked me. I wrote both of those fics in such a short period, and I was expecting them to go largely unremarked. And then others I thought would go over well and they were basically ignored. so. Fandom is weird.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I REALLY LIKED MY POKEMON AU but I also acknowledge that many of the best parts still remain on my hard drive. God, I need to post the rest of that fic. I guess the Pokemon craze has kind of passed, though…

Life Line, Heart Line wasn’t exactly underappreciated… I was just writing for a fandom of one and I knew it. It wasn’t shocking to me that no one read it, and it was mostly just a short ToT fic so it didn’t sting. (I…learned my lesson about writing really involved fics for minuscule fandoms after I wrote that Sleep No More fic.)

Story that could have been better?

Er… Probably a lot of them, all told. I’m really not very good at writing sex, so probably some of those especially.

Sexiest story?

I…guess probably the sexy rent fic, haha. Though again, I think a lot of the best parts of that are still on my hard drive.

Saddest story?

Errrr… Probably Little Ghost, Little Ghost or the zombie ficlets. Both of them that involve dead halves of my OTP and the other half coping badly, essentially. Or The Devil At The Crossroads, because that one involved suicidal ideation.

Most fun?

Probably the Muppet fics! It’s a fun canon. Or, oh my god, that silly, stupid Scooby Doo fic. I loved it, people loved reading it, it was stupid. It was really fun haha.

Story with single sweetest moment?

Uh.. Frankly, I think I specialize in sweet moments, so this is a bit hard for me. The confession scenes at the ends of Like Moving Parts and Feathers and Favors stand out, but I think most of my readers would pick other moments, lol.

Hardest story to write?

Emotionally, it was Feathers and Favors. I…cried a lot while I wrote that. It touched on some very personal parts of my life. Love’s Carriers probably required the most research. I had to walk to florists haha. The Arsenic and Old Lace fics fought me a lot, largely because of election angst, which is why I ended up writing two. I’m relatively happy with Six Sips, though.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

I had fun with basically every single monster one, hahaha. I have such a type. Paradoxically, I think that Feathers and Favors was also one of the easier ones to write. I wrote so much in such a short period of time, because it just flowed really well. I guess writing it was kind of therapeutic.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Honestly, I think I thought a lot more about gag characters than is really right or proper this year. My perceptions changed a lot, and I came to love both Chibita and Karamatsu even more. (Which…is what happened to me when I wrote Beaker last year…)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Uhh… I mean… I wrote a lot of short, weird little fics this year, but largely in a fandom where I mostly knew I’d have an audience. (But I did worry a lot about alienating said audience, especially after they got used to fluff from me.) The zombie ones were outside of my comfort zone, but everyone was writing zombies so it wasn’t that much of a risk. The Road Not Taken actually was a risk; it was one of my first Osomatsu-san fics and I had no idea how it’d be received.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

I don’t know… I’d like to finish a few of the karabita WIPs I have on my hard drive, but… It does kind of seem like the fandom for the pairing is dying off, doesn’t it? I still have a lot of stories to tell, but maybe soon I’ll have no one to tell them to… So maybe one of my goals should be finding a new fandom, too, huh? I tend to hunker down when I find a pairing I really like, but I often stay long after the audience has moved on, which just leads to frustration. Sometimes I look at the karabita AO3 tag and feel kind of embarrassed because I’ve written such a large percentage of the fics that are there, like maybe I’ve glommed onto something dumb too much? But it’s been one of the few fun things in a terrible year, so oh well, whatever. Still, branching out a bit couldn’t hurt.

I’d also like to write more of my ideas for original fic, though I’ll admit I find that very… large. My origific ideas have a habit of getting away from me, and then they’re too big and I get overwhelmed and set them aside. I should probably give them a chance to grow, though. I have so many f/f ideas, and the world needs more f/f origific.