#no i really should be studying what's wrong with me

[daryltwdixon]

hello dear!! i dont know if your are still taking requests or not, but if do you i would really love to see you write something fluff with a drunk daryl and reader, where he totally forgot that they are dating and just start acting shy and awkward around her, i know its cliche but i really love how you write daryl and think it would be so cute to see something like that written by you😭, but i totally understand if you are busy, i hope you are having a great day!🥰

A drunk Daryl grows uncharacteristically shy around you, forgetting for a moment that you're together.

author notes: I just want to say its not v common for people who are drinking to forget who their s/o's are, but anything for you lolol, enjoy!!! x

thank you for the love!!!

The Alexandria dinner party is louder than usual, laughter spilling out into the quiet night. Someone had insisted on opening the last few bottles of wine, and you watch with amusement as Daryl, leaning against the far wall, swirls the red liquid in his glass like it’s some kind of trap.

“Never took you for a wine guy,” you tease, stepping closer. His eyes dart to yours, and the flush on his face deepens. You figure the alcohol’s working its magic, though Daryl had always been shy about these kinds of things—especially in a crowd.

“Don’t even taste right,” he mutters, setting the glass on a nearby table like it might bite him.

You grin. “Then why drink it?”

He shrugs, glancing at you sideways. The usual ease between you feels a little... off. His gaze flicks to your face, then away again, like he’s avoiding something. You tilt your head, trying to figure out what’s wrong, when his voice breaks the quiet.

“You look real nice tonight.”

The words come out low and shy, almost like he hadn’t meant to say them. You blink, surprised, but before you can respond, he fumbles to add, “Not that ya don’t always, but... I mean, yeah.”

“Daryl,” you say, trying to catch his eye. He’s looking anywhere but at you now, cheeks burning. “Are you okay?”

“‘M fine,” he grumbles, crossing his arms. But the way he shifts on his feet, the nervous way he rubs the back of his neck—it’s not like him. You step closer, studying him, until something clicks.

“Oh my god.” You can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up. “You don’t remember, do you?”

His brows furrow, lips parting in confusion. “Remember what?”

You can’t believe it. “You’re acting like we just met or something.”

Daryl stares at you, his eyes swimming with haze, but he blinks hard, trying to piece it all together. His eyes widen slightly. “Wait... we’re—?”

“Yes, Daryl,” you say, trying to suppress another laugh. “We’re together, at least I thought so,”

The realization hits him like a brick wall. His mouth opens, then closes, and for a second he just stares at you, dumbfounded. “Shit,” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “I—uh... forgot.”

“Obviously,” you tease, stepping even closer until you’re standing right in front of him. “Should I be worried you’re forgetting about me already?”

“Nah,” he says quickly, his voice quiet but insistent. “Just... too much wine. ‘S all.”

You bite your lip, trying not to smile too wide at how bashful he looks. The Daryl you know is rarely this unguarded, and it’s endearing. But as you watch him glance down at you—his face still flushed and his nerves practically visible—you catch something softer in his expression. His hand drifts to the back of his neck again, but this time, a crooked grin follows.

“You’re... somethin’ else,” he murmurs under his breath, almost to himself. “Must be the luckiest som' bitch,”

The words catch you off guard, and warmth blooms in your chest. “Damn right you are,” you say softly, but there’s no teasing in your tone anymore.

His lips twitch, and he finally dares to meet your gaze. “Guess I don’t mind that.”

You smirk, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his cheek. The move makes him freeze for half a second before his face turns a deeper shade of red, but his hand brushes yours in a subtle, almost instinctive gesture. Even drunk, even shy, Daryl Dixon couldn’t hide how much he cared.

“C’mon,” you say, tugging lightly at his hand. “Let’s get you some water before you forget anything else."

[carbondioxidewater]

Make A Move (Pt. 5)

footballplayer!Sukuna x fem!reader

genre: slow-burn romance, college au, fluff, angst

warnings: none so far

word: 3.1

(-> Pt. 1) (-> Pt. 2) (-> Pt. 3) (-> Pt. 4) (-> masterlist)

On sunday morning, you woke up early, even though you hadn't been sleeping much. The events of the previous day came back to you one after the other. First, you thought about the game and Sukuna's impressive skills in it.

You reflected on the motorcycle ride with him and how he drove you to the Rainbow Bridge just so you could see the city at night. That must've been one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for you. You turned over on your side in your bed, smiling.

And then you remembered how you almost kissed and how he treated you completely different later at the party than when you were alone. A feeling of embarrassment washed over you again at the thought that everyone present had noticed Sukuna not wanting to kiss you. Not that you were dying to feel his soft lips, probably salty from the sweat - no, that wasn't it. Because even if that were the case, it was more the fact of how and why he rejected you that was bothering you.

But asking him was out of the question. After all, you still had enough pride left to not give him that pleasure. After all, he wasn't obliged to kiss you. You shouldn't let anything show, otherwise he might get the wrong idea. And with that mentality, you went to your first lecture on Monday.

After the lecture, you entered the cafeteria. Today they cooked vegetarian pasta again and it always tasted delicious. You grabbed a plate, had it filled up, and walked over to the where the silverware was. As you were putting down your tray, someone spoke up directly from the side.

"I got your message, by the way."

You weren't startled this time.

"Did you know that people usually greet each other before starting a conversation?" you expressed calmly and Sukuna burst out laughing. You always managed to entertain him.

"Sorry, hi princess."

"Hi." you said quietly, a gloomy feeling at the nickname. "What message?"

"Yuji told me he should wish me 'good luck' from you."

"So?"

"Well, I certainly was lucky, after all you really came. But..." he didn't finish his sentence, obviously waiting for your reaction. Was he really trying to flirt with you again? This man was difficult.

You took your tray and moved towards one of the tables. Of course Sukuna followed you and sat down on the opposite chair. You sighed.

"But what, Sukuna? What do you want?" you asked in annoyance.

"You should give me your number. I couldn't even make sure you got home safe on Saturday." he flashed his shiny white teeth at you.

"Why do you care? I went home with my friends." you said, but not snippy, more in a neutral tone.

"I know that." he simply returned and didn't seem to have anything else to say. He just looked at you.

Seriously? He doesn't mention what happened at all? Well, if he can act like nothing happened, so can you.

"I don't like being watched while eating." you said bluntly and Sukuna couldn't help but smile.

"Why, are your table manners so terrible?" he countered. You puffed.

"Aren't you hungry?" you then asked, whereupon he told you that he had already eaten.

"I saw you and with you the opportunity."

"The opportunity for what?" you then questioned.

"Asking you for your number."

"You have my address already, that should be enough."

You would not let him get any closer to you.

He chuckled and you ate the first forkful of pasta.

"So you don't want to give it to me?" he carried on.

"Obviously not."

"Okay, I'll find a way. Oh, and enjoy your meal." he winked at you. And then he stood up and left the table.

Finally you could eat in peace.

You didn't see him for the next few days, which gave you enough time to concentrate on your studies. It was thursday evening and you had to give in your assignment for neurolinguistics, the due date was today. You quickly finished explaining how the priming effect works, when suddenly Utahime entered your room with the mail in her hand.

"Oh, are you finished for today already?" you asked, referring to her job, to which she nodded.

"But look at this!" she said, astonished, and waved a letter in front of your face.

The letter was addressed to you, but had no sender. Strange.

You opened it and the content was a single sheet of paper with a few lines written on it.

"You're right, your address is enough. If you don't want to give me your number, I'll have to try this way ;)"

Your face immediately heated up, you never thought he would go out of his way like that. But what was he doing that for? What was his ulterior motive?

Utahime saw your shocked face and read the letter. Then she laughed.

"Wow, he's really trying. Have you eaten yet? Should we order something?"

And together, you ended the evening with a juicy pizza.

But on the next day, you found a note in your locker too. You opened the folded paper and it said:

"Meet me under the bleachers"

Oh God, your heart was pounding. Just what was he thinking?

You decided to meet him at the stands to ask him to stop this whole thing. Even though you were really flattered by the attention, it still hurt your ego that he apparently thought he could win you over like that. Was it working? Maybe a little, but he didn't have to know that. And you definitely wouldn't fall for it any further.

When you finally got there, there was no sign of him. You asked the few players practicing on the field about him.

"Sukuna? No, he's not here. As far as I know he has a philosophy class right now."

Philosophy? You didn't even know that was his second subject. But that explained why he was around you so often, because philosophy and linguistics were taught in the same building. But why did he send you here then? Nothing he did made sense and you were slowly getting fed up with this chaos.

You were just on your way back into the building when all of a sudden, you bumped into someone's back on accident. He turned around and to your surprise, it was the menace himself.

"Careful." he laughed lightly. But you were a bit pissed at him right now and just walked past him. He walked after you.

"Hey, where are you going?" he yelled.

"I don't feel like playing your games. Find someone else to annoy." you said without even looking at him.

He grabbed your wrist and brought you to a stop. When you tried to escape his grip, he blocked you with his arm and caged you in.

"Calm down. What's going on with you?" Sukuna exclaimed.

"No, what's going on with you? Why do you leave those notes in my locker, arrange a meeting and then don't come?"

"That's what it is about?" He chuckled. "Now do you see how complicated it is? If I had your number, you would have known when I wrote the message."

You were flabbergasted, was that really his plan behind all this? To show you the need to exchange numbers?

"Or you can just write the time next time!" you spat out.

"Next time? So you like when I leave you letters?" he smirked and upset you with his presumptuous words.

"Don't twist my words..." you pouted and looked to the side. He let you go now, you had calmed down.

"Then what do you say: We have another game next Friday. If we win, I get your number, if we lose... well, you can choose."

"Why do you want my number so badly?" you probed.

"Because I like you. You're fun to be around."

This confession knocked you off balance, but you swallowed your speechlessness. In the end, two could play that game.

"Okay, if you lose, you'll never ask me for my number again." You smiled mischievously and he followed suit, tilting your chin upwards with his big hand before responding.

"It's settled then."

You stayed at Shoko's for the weekend, since you wanted to binge-watch the new season of your series. Utahime didn't like the show and had to work anyway, so it was just the two of you tonight.

After a few episodes, however, it turned into a deep talk session. You told Shoko everything that had happened with Sukuna so far and she reprimanded you for getting into this 'pact'.

"His team will win either way, the only ones who would have a chance against them are the UOT." she explained and you thought about her words.

UOT? Of course! They say their quarterback is on par with Sukuna. They are the biggest rivals!

"Are they gonna play against each other too?" you wondered.

"I think not until the very end of the season. That's the most important game after all."

The end of the season... So in about 8 weeks. But wait a minute...

"How do you even know that?" you stared at Shoko in amazement and she looked up at the ceiling.

"A few of my high school friends are on this team. Utahime knows them too."

"What? Why am I only finding out about this now?" you shifted in your seat, grinning at her. She shrugged.

"I never thought it was important. After all, you haven't been interested in football until now."

You nodded. Then your phone rang. You took it from the coffee table and saw that it was Utahime, but before you could even pick up, she already hung up.

"Who was it?" Shoko interrupted and you told her, but you two didn't think much of it.

You thought that maybe she called you on accident, so you sent her a message asking "are you okay?" and checked her location. She was still at the hotel. A few minutes later, she finally replied and confirmed that everything was indeed alright.

"Okay she just replied, she's fine. But next time we're all together, you two have to tell me more about your mysterious old friends." You waggled your eyebrows and Shoko laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, even if there's not really much to tell."

And then you were back in the stadium, this time, on your campus. It was a home game and the people on the stands were louder than at the last game, but this time you secured yourselves better seats. You were sitting in the front row now!

At the opening, all of the players walked onto the field and turned to the audience. Sukuna waved at the big crowd, his eyes moving from left to right, and finally rested his gaze on you, a small smirk spreading on his face. And then it was kickoff. As always, Sukuna's leading skills ensured a successful first half. It was clear that the team had been a unit for a long time, as well as they complemented each other.

After the first half, there was the usual break and you used it to quickly go use the bathroom. The line was long though, of course you weren't the only one who had to go after such a long time. But luckily, it quickly emptied and after you were done, the break was almost over. While the water was tingling on your hand, you heard a few girls coming in, chattering. You recognized the cheerleaders, one of them was the blonde girl named Manami.

"So, how are things going with Sukuna now?" asked Manami's friend.

At the mention of that name, you became very wary. You felt like you were eavesdropping, but you couldn't turn off your hearing sense after all.

"I think he likes me." Manami said the words dreamily, but you couldn't listen to their conversation any longer, because if you stayed at the sink for too long, you would attract their attention. You dried your hands and then went out the door.

What was their true relationship to each other? She thinks he likes her? What is he doing for her to think that? You had a weird gut feeling on your way back and when your friends noticed, they asked if you were okay. You lied to them and, thank goodness, that feeling disappeared as soon as the second half of the game started again.

And as Shoko predicted, your team won. The others weren't bad by any means, but Sukuna isn't feared in the world of football for nothing. He once again secured a great victory and after the game ended, his teammates all ran towards him to celebrate.

They picked him up and carried him to the front of the stands while you and the others clapped for their success. Many shouted his name, others shouted for the other players, but his grinning, smug look was only on you.

His comrades let him down and the crowd slowly started to leave the stands as Sukuna continued to keep you under his spell. He stepped on a bench in front of it, leaned his elbow on the railing of ​​the stands and pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket. He pressed it between his fingers proudly and held it in front of his slightly tilted face, a mischievous smile on it, so that you could make out the numbers on the note.

You narrowed your eyes in an attempt to see more clearly and as the digits became visible, you recognized them as your phone number.

How did he-

You were about to ask him that, but Aoi intervened, jumping onto the bench and putting his arm over Sukuna's shoulder, happily dragging him into the locker room.

When you finally came down the stairs, you decided to wait for Sukuna outside. Your friends were talking about something you didn't pay attention to.

Then the door opened and you walked towards Sukuna expectantly, but he was stopped by Manami at that moment. You saw her putting her arm around his and how she walked to the parking lot with him. That made you abandon the whole plan and you went back home with your girls.

When you got there, you got a message from an unknown number.

unknown number: not even curious how I got your number?

That was definitely Sukuna. Your mood immediately worsened. You just couldn't figure him out. You threw your phone on the bed and made yourself something to eat. Cooking should calm you down, so you put on some music and started chopping. It took half an hour before you got the motivation to text him back.

you: aren't you out with the cheerleader right now?

You sent the message and threw your phone away from you again. Why had you been so direct? You were about to take your phone to delete the message, but Sukuna had already replied.

unknown number: oh you're curious about something else I see. u stalking me? ;)

you: no, I just saw you two together after the game. hope you had fun.

unknown number: yea sure had.

you: good for you.

Somehow the message came across as more bitter than you anticipated, and Sukuna also noticed the harsh tone.

unknown number: wait, you weren't seriously thinking I was after you, were you?

you: of course not? I was being genuine.

You were not. He typed.

unknown number: well then, that's good.

And then you left him on read. Asshole.

The whole weekend was spent trying to figure Sukuna out, but as much as you tried, his motives remained unclear to you. You even started listing different possibilities together with Shoko and Utahime, but for every idea there was something in Sukuna's behaviour that didn't add up. You set up three theories:

REASON NUMBER ONE: He really just likes you platonically. But then why did he flirt with you sometimes, why did he almost kiss you, why did he put in such an effort into getting your number?

REASON NUMBER TWO: He was just trying to get into your pants. Maybe there was something going on with this girl, Manami, and he didn't want her to find out. But then why did he never make a move on you like that? Apart from the teasing, he's never been disrespectful or dirty towards you.

And, this was the most unlikely one, but,

REASON NUMBER THREE: He had a serious interest in you. But then, why wouldn't he just be straight forward? Why was this girl all over him at all times? And why didn't he do something against it? Or was he keeping the both of you as mere options?

Whatever it was, it was getting on your nerves. And you decided you wanted to make clear to him that the both of you should either be friends or nothing.

You were just taking a few things out of your locker when there was a sudden bang next to you. You took the last book out of it and then looked at the source.

"Boo." Sukuna called out, pressing his lower arm against the locker. He was wearing a simple white sweater with the sleeves rolled up, but it was so tight that it highlighted his broad, big chest. His hand was clenched into a fist, which meant that you had a perfect view of his flexing muscles as well.

You gulped and tried not to let on how attractive that was to you, because you couldn't afford to seem weak in front of him.

"Wow I'm so scared." you commented and closed your locker.

"I bet you are, now that I've got your number." he claimed. Then you faced him.

"Where did you get it from anyway?" you wondered. You still didn't have a single clue.

He smiled wickedly again.

"Why don't you ask your friend Utahime?"

Safe to say that's not what you expected coming out of his mouth.

"You're lying." you doubted.

"Why would I do that?" he replied with a foxy grin.

You took a deep breath.

"Alright, I'm gonna ask her later. But can we stop with the constant banter, it's giving me a headache."

"Oh, why's that?" he came closer, but you pushed him away again.

"It was fun in the beginning, but it's getting annoying now. Let's just be normal friends." you proposed.

"Friends?" Sukuna raised an eyebrow gently, considering your words and quirking a small smile. "You wanna befriend me?" he seemed oddly delighted about that. You didn't know if he was poking fun at you or not.

"Yeah, isn't that what you wanted?" you inquired, dumbfounded by his reaction.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Alright, let's be friends then." he stared down at you, a gleam in his eyes that you couldn't make out.

Yes, it would definitely be better to be friends. That way, he wouldn't constantly irritate you with his mixed signals.

And with that, your friendship with the star player began.

RAHHH he's so confusing!!! Wdym you send me LETTERS to contact me?!?!?! And then say you're not after me? ARGHHH

What do you think his intentions are? As always, reblogs and comments are so so appreciated! I wanna hear your thoughts about it so bad! <3

taglist: @miakxn @aureliaborea @nonamevenus @silkija @sad-darksoul @joh-ahae @mysteriaqueen @rebirthbunbun @inflatabledinosaurs19

[krisluxxeeempress]

SATURN CONJUNCT NORTH NODE SYNASTRY| ASTRO SYNASTRY SERIES

Saturn conjunct north node synastry is similar to mars square Saturn synastry that I’ve already covered. I compared mars square Saturn synastry to that of a parent/child relationship where the mars person was like a child or immature person being with a more seasoned, mature, and no-nonsense kind of person. I find that Saturn conjunct north node synastry has the same qualities and vibe.

There’s a profound misconception in the astrological world that the south node, opposite to the north node, should be negated and moved away from and that’s a misleading and damaging perspective to have because the south node is who we are and have been. If anyone finds that they have changed and are no longer who they once were and or in a place they’ve once been in, that’s because they have grown in that particular area. None of us would be where we are today if it wasn’t for the past, both good and bad. The past is the south node and should never be disregarded.

The south node dictates and gauges our growth as people and in this case relationships.

I used to fall for sweet nothings, hard d*** and bubble gum, which is my past that I’ve thankfully grown from through trial and error. I used to be naïve until life or a person played the role of Saturn in my life to push me into maturity and growth which is another way to perceive the north node. I needed the south node as a footstool to grow into my north node. If I was like most people, I would negate the south node and ultimately never learn or grow. The past dictates your future, FOR THE GOOD OR BAD. ANYONE SPEAKING ON MOVING AWAY FROM THE SOUTH NODE OR ACTING AS IF IT’S BAD IS WRONG. SURE, CIRCUMSTANCES MAY BE BAD WHEN YOU’RE OPERATING IN SOUTH NODE ENERGY BUT ANYONE SUCCESSFUL OR MATURING USE THE SOUTH NODE AS MOTIVATION.

ULTIMATELY NEVER FORGETTING WHERE THEY CAME FROM SO TO SPEAK. THE ASTROLOGY AND TAROT COMMUNITY SPEAKS ON THE SOUTH NODE AS IF OTHERS NEED TO FORGET IT COMPLETELY AND THAT’S NOT RIGHT.

With that understanding, we can move on to interpreting this synastry aspect.

As always, Saturn is the disciplinarian in any synastry aspect. There’s yet another misconception that Saturn governs lessons in life when in actuality, Jupiter is. The beloved Jupiter is the teacher dishing out lessons. Jupiter gives out our lessons and for some they are hard but everyone rather blame Saturn for anything hard. Saturn is the disciplinarian when we do not learn the lesson. Saturn is the consequences for our lack of action or overcoming in a particular error.

I find myself educating while trying to interpret this synastry aspect and that’s the vibe for the north node person in this synastry. Anytime Saturn is involved it’s because someone is not learning, growing or in simpler terms “not getting it” and so therefore, consequences are issued out. Most people want to blame anyone and everything but themselves when their life and, in this case, relationship is getting hard, and that mentality is equivalent to most people blaming Saturn for things being hard in their life.

Example. The north node person can be a cheater and has always gotten away with it before, like south node energy.

Think of it like this. You’re in school and you’ve always cheated on your test without getting caught. You’ve gotten so far in your schooling because you’ve been evading studying and resorting to cheating and then you come across a new teacher who dishes out harder test and homework. You get exposed, caught even and then there’s consequences. The teacher is Jupiter and Saturn is the consequences.

As the north node person, your south node behaviors get exposed. What you’ve always done isn’t going to work anymore therefore, initially as the north node person- you will try to blame the Saturn person as someone who is making this synastry difficult when really, your old behaviors are the problem. Casting blame on everyone else but yourself is what causes consequences and difficulty in this synastry. The Saturn person is just easier to blame instead of self-i.e. the north node person.

I used to blame those hard d*** sweet talkers in the past for hurting me, lying to me, and cheating on me and I kept making the same mistakes because it was everyone but me. Those liars and cheaters were playing the role of Saturn to me. I was the victim, the south node person. However, it wasn’t util I took accountability that I not only no longer attracted liars and cheaters, but I also matured into my north node energy. I no longer have consequences to suffer through. I learned that I was the problem, not those liars and cheaters.

The difference with mars square Saturn synastry is the mars person rebelling and being angry at the Saturn person because the Saturn person expects more and believes the mars person can be more. With Saturn conjunct north node, the energy is about taking accountability for your actions, past behaviors that are being repeated and owning your punishments, consequences- like being cheated on constantly and not learning from it.

What is the common denominator? Who is the common denominator?

As I always say, conjunctions do not guarantee roses sometimes conjunction hit harder than square and oppositions. You may think (wrongfully) the person you have a conjunction with is on your side and will agree with you harmoniously but sometimes two of same thing exemplifies the energy in a negative manner. There isn’t a balance, and you can’t play the player so to speak with those you share a conjunction in synastry with. A lot of people try to get over or take advantage of someone else who is opposite to them but when someone is the same, thinks, acts, and feels the same way as you- it’s harder to get away with things or play games.

The north node conjunct Saturn gives off the energy of “you got the right one today”. Again, Saturn is only employed in any synastry to reveal that someone in this mix needs consequences for not learning when they had the opportunity. The beloved Jupiter is the teacher, and some teachers are nice until they get taken advantage of or disrespected long enough and then the principle, a higher authority, or a parent gets involved and there’s no more games.

It’s ass whooping time.

The north node person in this synastry is still the south node person and the Saturn person has come in to whip them into shape to mature into the north node person. -unconsciously. The Saturn person is literally matching the north node persons energy. This is truly a karmic synastry and they aren’t meant to be together long term. The moment the north node person evolves and matures there’s no need for the Saturn person. Saturn isn’t here to directly teach a lesson in terms of sitting someone down giving wisdom like the mars square Saturn synastry. Saturn conjunct north node is literally karmic and riddled with difficulties, making life harder for the north node person to become the north node person officially.

I hope this makes sense.

An example of this would be the north node person (who really acts like the south node) is used to cheating on their partners. So, the north node person meets the Saturn person, and the Saturn person starts cheating on the north node person. Now, the north node person (who is really the south node person) will experience what it feels like to be cheated on. This relationship will be long term in the event the north node person refuses to actually become the north node person. This couple will go tit for tat until one day the north node person finally learns by trial and error. It may take the north node person getting the Saturn person pregnant or vice versa, and being weighed down by bills, drama, cheating, lies etc. for the north node person to finally get it. The Saturn person isn’t sitting the north node person down in a mature manner saying, “it’s time to grow up”. No, the Saturn person is reflecting back the north node person (really their south node behavior) to unconsciously make them grow up.

Another example.

Let’s say the north node person (who is really behaving like the south node) gets locked up. They get locked up and keep fighting and getting in trouble in jail and each time, their jail sentence gets longer. The judge, the correction officers and extended jail sentences aren’t sitting the north node person down saying please do better. No. they just keep extending the punishment until the north node person says to themselves, I need to stop fighting and getting in more trouble. Only I can change my ways, no one else. That extended jail sentence is equivalent to Saturn. Saturn is consequences not someone giving wisdom and harsh lessons. It’s consequences for not adhering to the lesson, the opportunity. Its punishment for your actions- no one else’s.

Hopefully this doesn’t get overwhelming or confusing but it’s clear for me because it took pain for me to realize I was the problem. It took getting hurt multiple times over in the same manner for me to realize that I was the problem not others.

In conclusion, this synastry aspect will last however long it takes for the north node person to really become the north node person. Saturn wouldn’t be present if otherwise. It’ll be the north node person to finally leave the Saturn person alone hopefully it’s not too late. Hopefully it doesn’t take jail, multiple babies, std’s, continuous setbacks, unhappiness, entrapment, child support, drama, fighting, abuse, cheating, lies and hell for the north node person to finally set into their north node energy. Again, though this is north node conjunct Saturn synastry- it’s really describing south node conjunct Saturn or south node opposite Saturn.

If your being cheated on, are you going to cheat back or leave? A mature person would leave.

If your being verbally abused, are you going to be abusive back or leave? A mature person would leave.

If your losing money, opportunities, and your peace of mind in a relationship, are you going to stay and become resentful and bitter or leave? A mature person would leave and so forth.

[trixy812]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ You have all my support ɞ˚‧｡⋆ pt 4

{Nanami Kento x reader}

ִֶָ࣪☾. Content: nanami x reader, fluff, college!Nanami, college!Reader, that's what you get when you read shojo!

ִֶָ࣪☾. Synopsis: It was inevitable. Kento Nanami was leaving the jujutsu world.

ִֶָ࣪☾. AN: omg! this is really long! i hope you guys don't get bored with this part! as I am writing this series I get so excited, i am so proud of this and I hope you guys are enjoying. I am definetely planning to write more omakes for this series :) please let me know what you think!

pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3 - pt. 4

Reader meets Gojo

The soft glow of the sunset filtered through the curtains of your room, bathing the space in a warmth that felt nothing short of comforting. Nanami sat at the edge of your bed, a book in one hand while the other absentmindedly ran through your hair. Your head rested on his lap as you pretended to watch TV, though your attention was far from it. It was one of those rare, quiet moments where just being together was more than enough.

Suddenly, Nanami broke the silence.

“What will you do after graduation?”

You frowned, caught off guard by the question. He already knew the answer—you’d discussed it countless times. You’d take a semester off to work full-time and save money before pursuing your dream of studying nursing. So it was clear he wasn’t asking for himself. This was his way of starting a conversation about his own future.

Turning your head slightly to look up at him, you smiled gently and asked,

“What about you, Kento? What do you want to do after graduation?”

Nanami carefully closed the book, placing it aside with precision, and let out a deep sigh. The weight of it was palpable in the way his chest rose and fell.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about that,” he began, but stopped short, leaving his words hanging in the air.

Alarmed by the serious look on his face, you sat up, removing your head from his lap. Until that moment, you hadn’t realized how much he’d been carrying on his shoulders. A wave of guilt washed over you. How could I not notice? I’m supposed to be supporting him…

Nanami stared at his hands, fiddling with the corner of his book as if searching for courage.

“I’m not sure if I want to remain a sorcerer,” he admitted finally.

Now it was your turn to comfort him. You reached out to gently run your fingers through his hair, hoping to offer some solace.

“Why not?” you asked softly.

He closed his eyes briefly, as if the act might make explaining easier.

“Because the world of sorcery is rotten,” he said bluntly. “They use us. I saw what happened to Haibara, and I can’t stop thinking that if I stay, I’ll end up the same. Or worse, someone else will suffer because I wasn’t strong enough.”

He paused, looking out the window, searching for answers in the horizon.

“And then there’s Geto…” he continued. “I know what he did was wrong, but I can’t blame him. Honestly, I understand why he chose that path. This system is broken, y/n. Every time I return from a mission, I wonder if I’m making any difference at all—or just delaying the inevitable.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks. Nanami rarely opened up about his feelings, always so stoic and composed. Seeing him like this, raw and vulnerable, made your heart ache.

“Kento…” you whispered, struggling to find the right words.

“I want your honest opinion,” he said, meeting your eyes. “What do you think I should do?”

You sighed, feeling the weight of the conversation settle around you.

“Alright,” you said, “but don’t blame me for being straightforward.”

Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you finally spoke, letting your emotions guide you.

“I don’t think you should stay,” you said firmly. “It’s not fair. Why should you keep giving your life to a system that doesn’t even value the people who fight for it?”

Nanami looked at you, surprised by the intensity of your tone, but didn’t interrupt.

“Look at what they did to my parents,” you continued, your voice rising slightly. “They fined them for using my technique—to help people! What do you think they’ll do to you, someone they see as nothing more than a tool? They’ll drain you dry, Kento, until there’s nothing left. And then what?”

He swallowed hard, still silent.

“You’re incredibly smart,” you said, your voice softening. “You don’t need this. You could go to university, study something you’re passionate about. You always talk about books. Maybe literature. Anything. But staying there? For what? For who?”

You cupped his cheek, gently turning his face so he would look at you.

“Your opinion isn’t completely objective, is it?” he asked quietly, a small smile playing at his lips.

You glanced away, feeling exposed.

“No,” you admitted. “It’s not. I don’t want to lose you,” you whispered. “And if you stay there, I feel like I will. Sooner or later.”

Nanami was quiet for a long moment, your words clearly weighing on him. Finally, he nodded slightly.

“I’ll think about it,” he said. “But… it’s not an easy decision.”

You leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his forehead, hoping to convey what words couldn’t.

“It doesn’t have to be easy,” you whispered. “But you don’t have to make it alone. I’m here, Kento. Always.”

Though he didn’t say it aloud, the look in his eyes told you that those words meant more to him than you could ever imagine.

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊

The energy of the day buzzed in the air. Flowers, speeches, and the chatter of excited students filled the auditorium. As you stood among your classmates, you couldn’t help but scan the crowd for the blonde boy you loved.

Nanami wasn’t at his own graduation. He’d deliberately skipped it, knowing the ceremony held no meaning for him. But your graduation? That was different.

When you returned home with your diploma in hand, you found Nanami waiting at your doorstep with a small chocolate cake. It was simple, understated, but what left you speechless were the words written in vanilla frosting—“Congratulations”—spelled out in your parents’ native language.

“Kento… Did you make this?” you asked, your voice filled with emotion.

He nodded, holding the cake with pride.

“I knew you’d like it,” he said calmly. “And I thought your parents would appreciate it even more.”

Your mother emerged from the house at that moment, gasping as she took in the sight.

“What a beautiful gesture!” she exclaimed, pulling Nanami into a warm hug.

Your father smiled, though he added teasingly, “It better taste as good as it looks, young man.”

“Dad…” you scolded, embarrassed, as Nanami’s typically composed expression faltered just slightly, a faint redness creeping up his ears.

The evening was filled with celebration. Your mother had prepared a feast, the dining table overflowing with traditional dishes.

Nanami leaned over as you poured him a glass of water. “Does she always cook this much for occasions like this?”

You smiled. “My mom thinks food is the best way to show love.”

As the meal progressed, your father set down his glass of wine and looked at you seriously.

“y/n, we’ll support whatever you decide,” he began. “But are you sure about nursing? In Japan, nurses don’t earn as much as they should. Have you thought about studying medicine instead? You’d earn more, and you’d never have to worry about anything.”

You rolled your eyes, placing your utensils down.

“Dad, we’ve talked about this. I want to be a nurse. I don’t care about the money—it’s my dream. Didn’t you always tell me to follow my dreams?”

Your parents exchanged a glance, and you could almost hear their unspoken thoughts: We're going to have to keep giving her money for the rest of our lives.

It was then that Nanami, who had been quiet the entire time, set his glass of water down with a deliberate clink.

“I have something to say,” he began, his tone steady and commanding attention.

Your parents straightened in their chairs, and you turned to him curiously.

“I’ve made a decision,” he said firmly. “I’m leaving the world of sorcery. I’m walking away.”

Your eyes widened in shock as his words sank in.

“Are you serious?” you exclaimed, a grin spreading across your face. “Kento, that’s amazing—”

“Wait, really?” your mother interjected, her voice tinged with concern. “But Kento… are you sure? It’s such a big change.”

“It’s something I’ve thought about for a long time,” he admitted. “It’s what’s best for me.”

Your father dramatically placed a hand on his forehead. “No sorcery? Our future grandchildren won’t find interest in it. It’ll be tough for them with parents in such… ordinary professions.”

Your face burned with embarrassment.

“Dad! We’ve only been dating a few weeks!” you blurted out.

Your mother laughed softly. “To us, it’s been two and a half years,” she teased.

Nanami looked down at his plate, but not before you caught the faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Can you guys not?” you groaned, but they only laughed harder.

After dinner, you and Nanami went for a walk to clear your heads. The night breeze was cool and refreshing, the sky clear and dotted with stars.

“So,” you asked, breaking the comfortable silence, “what do you want to study in college?”

He paused for a moment before answering.

“Finance,” he said.

You stopped in your tracks, looking at him like he’d just suggested becoming an astronaut.

“Finance? What happened to literature? You love books!”

He shrugged, a small smile playing at his lips.

“I also love making smart decisions,” he said, slipping his hand into yours. "I want to make sure you never lack anything," he explained calmly. "I want you to be able to follow your dreams without worrying about anything else."

Your cheeks flushed as you processed his words.

"Also," he continued, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, "I liked what your parents said about grandkids."

You were left breathless, warmth rising from your neck to your ears.

"Kento..." you whispered, unsure of how to respond.

"I imagine a future with you," he said, his eyes locking onto yours. "I'll work hard, earn enough to retire young, and you can keep working if you want. You won't have to worry about the details—"

You silenced him with a sudden kiss, your heart pounding.

"That doesn’t matter now," you said softly. "I just want to be with you."

And under that starry night sky, with his fingers intertwined with yours, Nanami knew he had made the right decision.

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊

Nanami's lips curved into something between a smile and a grimace. A message from Gojo.

Nanamiiiii,

Even though your coldness is unbearable, I’m going to miss you. But I’d rather miss you than see everything go to hell, so go ahead and live your boring college life. I’ll handle the dirty work (as always).

P.S. When you get tired of “normal” and want to come back to the interesting side of life, I’ll be here. But I doubt someone as bitter as you can handle how much fun it is working with me.

P.P.S. At least tell me that girl’s worth it. How is it we still haven’t gone out, the three of us?"

Nanami sighed and set his phone aside. He could read between the lines: "I don’t want you to end up like Geto." Though Gojo expressed himself in his uniquely ridiculous way, his words reminded Nanami why he had made the right decision.

"What’s wrong?" you asked, noticing his distant expression.

He shook his head, bringing his attention back to you. "Nothing important. Just Gojo being Gojo."

You leaned closer, curious, but before you could insist, you exclaimed excitedly, "Oh! I got the waitress job!"

Nanami raised an eyebrow. "Full-time?"

"Yes," you replied enthusiastically. "Once we start college, I want to find my own place and live alone."

His expression shifted, growing slightly more serious. After a few moments of silence, he said, "What if we lived together?"

Your smile faltered. "Kento, that’s really sweet of you, but no."

Nanami frowned, clearly affected by your response. "Why not? I thought… it’d make things easier for both of us. We’d be together."

You took his hands in yours, smiling at him gently. "I want to know what it’s like to live alone. I need that space to grow as a person. It’s important to me."

Nanami nodded, though his eyes held a flicker of sadness. "I understand. But I won’t blame you if you change your mind."

Six months later, you both started college. Nanami had changed his appearance—his hair was shorter and slicked back, and he often wore dress shirts and jeans. His mature, polished style didn’t go unnoticed.

In the hallways, you noticed the stares he received, from both women and men.

"They’re looking at you again," you whispered, slightly annoyed, as you walked together to the library.

He glanced at you with a faint smile. "Are you jealous?"

"No, of course not," you replied, though your furrowed brow said otherwise. Still, you couldn’t help but feel proud. You knew that no matter how many looks he got, he was yours and yours alone.

Despite your busy schedules, exam weeks were always different. It had become a tradition to study together, either at your place or his.

Well, studying was the initial plan.

Night had fallen, and your apartment was quiet, save for the rustle of notes scattered on the floor, forgotten. You and Nanami were on the couch, completely absorbed in the moment. His lips moved against yours with a fervor that left you breathless, his careful hands gripping your waist, pulling you closer.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, messing it up, as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He kissed you with a slow, deliberate intensity, as if trying to memorize every sensation. His lips moved with a restrained passion that felt ready to overflow at any moment.

You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, but he didn’t let you move far. His mouth trailed down to your neck, leaving a path of heated kisses that sent shivers through your body.

"Kento," you murmured, trying to sound firm, though your voice came out shaky. "We should be studying."

"I can’t focus," he murmured against your skin, his voice low and laden with desire. "Not when you’re this close."

You tried to pull away, but he cupped your face with both hands, gently guiding you to meet his gaze. His eyes were filled with a mixture of tenderness and need that always left you defenseless.

"Let me stay like this a little longer," he confessed, his tone almost pleading.

You were just as lost in him—in the way his hands traced your back, slowly moving up to your shoulders, as if rediscovering you. His lips found yours again, this time with a softness that contrasted with the earlier intensity but was just as overwhelming.

"Kento," you tried again, with little conviction. "The exams…"

"I love the way you say my name," he whispered against your lips, a small smile forming. "There’s nothing more important than this right now."

His hands slid back to your waist, holding you with a firmness that made you feel both secure and deeply desired. You gave in to the moment, letting him guide you, feeling the weight of books and responsibilities melt away.

A soft gasp escaped your lips when he brushed your cheek, and the sound made him pause for just a moment. He looked at you, his expression now softened by overwhelming tenderness.

"Do you know what you make me feel?" he whispered, his voice barely audible but heavy with emotion.

"What?" you managed to ask, still trying to catch your breath.

He rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes for a moment, as if anchoring himself in your presence. "That no matter how much time we have, I’ll always want more of you. It’ll never be enough."

Your hands caressed his face, tracing the lines of his jaw as you gazed at him with equal intensity. "I love you," you said, letting all your reservations fall away.

He kissed you again, this time softer, as if your words had soothed the fire within him—though only slightly.

Finally, you were the one to create some distance, though your body was still trembling. "Hey, handsome," you said with a nervous smile. "If we keep this up, we’re going to fail our exams."

He sighed with a faint smile, smoothing his hair. "Fine," he said with resignation. But before you could move, he added, "Though I want it on record that I’m against stopping."

Blushing, you began gathering the notes scattered on the floor. Nanami watched you, his gaze still full of adoration and desire. He couldn’t help but think how much he wished time would stop when you were like this, together.

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊

The years passed quickly. Both of you graduated college. You found a job almost immediately at the hospital where you had completed your volunteering, excited to begin your specialty in palliative care.

Out of respect for Nanami, you decided not to use your cursed energy technique anymore. You knew he appreciated that gesture more than he let on.

Nanami, on the other hand, entered the world of finance and quickly excelled as a stockbroker. His success surprised no one; he was meticulous, efficient, and dedicated.

One sunny afternoon, Nanami invited you to look at apartments. He insisted it was "just for fun," now that he was considering moving closer to his office. You went along, thinking it would be a casual distraction from your routines, but as soon as you arrived, you were taken aback.

"This place is... incredible," you said, your eyes taking in the sleek, modern facade. "Are you sure this isn’t out of your budget?"

He gave you a faint smile, the kind he reserved for moments when he was about to surprise you. "Let’s go inside and see."

Stepping into the apartment, your eyes widened. The space was bright and open, with large windows that let in warm, natural light. The kitchen was modern, with impeccable finishes, and there was a spacious living area and a small balcony with a breathtaking view. You walked slowly, admiring every detail, while Nanami followed quietly, watching you intently.

Finally, you stopped at the balcony, gazing out at the city with a soft sigh. "It’s perfect. It’s… too perfect."

Nanami approached, resting a hand on the balcony doorframe. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," you admitted with a smile. "If this is what you’re looking for, I think you should go for it. It’s amazing."

He cleared his throat, clearly nervous—a rarity for him. "I want to get this place, but not just for me."

You turned to him, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Nanami slid his hands into his pockets, as if seeking something to steady himself. Then he looked up, his eyes locking onto yours. "I want us to live here together. You and me."

Your heart skipped a beat.

Nanami took a deep breath. "And this time, you can’t say no."

You frowned, confused, but before you could respond, he pulled a small black box from his pocket and opened it. Inside, a simple yet elegant ring sparkled in the golden light of the setting sun.

"Because I don’t just want us to live together," he said, his voice lower but steady. "I want to build a life with you. I want this to be our home. I want you to be my wife."

Your mouth fell open in a soft gasp, tears welling in your eyes. The silence stretched between you, not because words were lacking, but because the gravity of the moment spoke for itself.

"Will you marry me?"

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔.:･･:.ೃ࿔.⋆❀°

pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3 - pt. 4

Reader meets Gojo

[windmaedchen-oceanhorn]

Cage of Desire

Ryeham Option

You can talk to the characters, but sadly these conversations aren't available in the recap. Luckily I made a screen record so I can share the words being spoken. Except for a part of Mirael! So sorry about that, I realised too late.

.・゜゜・ CASSADEE ・゜゜・. Magister Merlin!

Cassadee? It's been too long.

Magister Merlin, it's an honor to have you join us here. I've been studying he magic you left behind. You once blessed the land of Ryeham and were even able to transform a desert into an oasis. Currently, I cannot create magic on such a grand scale, but I will keep following your path.

Long time no see! Yes! What a privilege!

Sorry, but you're an illusion. What? Am I truly the product of magic? But everything is so lifelike! Look at the texture of the fabric I'm wearing. It's identical to the real thing. Even the touch of my skin feels real… What kind of magic is this? After the banquet, I'll have to study it thoroughly!

You're a remarkable mage. Thank you. Still, I recognize my own limitations and that there is still a wealth of knowledge for me yet to uncover.

Look! Valen has provided a generous feast for everyone. Strange… I can't remember why Valen is hosting this banquet, but in any case, it's an honor to dine with you. Please take a seat, Magister Merlin, and enjoy a lavish meal.

.・゜゜・　VALEN　・゜゜・． SONYA, you're late.

Valen, you haven't changed.

It's rare for me to spend so much on a feast like this, and yet the most important guest still arrives late. Go ahead, please sit down. The seat at the center is reserved for you. With this, all the guests have finally arrived.

You're hosting a feast? Am I dreaming? If this is a dream, so be it. I never thought there would be a day that I'd host a banquet. By all rights, it should be General Hogan doing this… Strange… Why did I invite you all to this banquet…? Even Mirael and Cassadee are here. Forget it, now that the beautiful ladies are here, the reason is of no importance. Let's have dinner.

This is an illusion! That's hurtful to say, SONYA. I might not have much to spare, but even I would treat the savior of the Heroic Order out to dinner. After all, repaying a kindness is a basic tenet of a knight.

It has truly been a long time. Yes, it's been quite a while. While you're tackling issues from afar, I was running around handling the general's business at the Heroic Order. We both haven't stopped for a break.

Although it pains my coin purse a bit, this feast was set up for you. We all came to see you. So enjoy yourself.

.・゜゜・　MIRAEL　・゜゜・． Magister, you're finally here…

Mirael? It's really you…

What's wrong? Why that expression? I've seen that look in a mirror before. When we met each other and you had forgotten me, I had the same expression on my face.

It's been a while. …

You're just an illusion. When you were teaching me about illusions, you said that although magic can create false images, the caster's emotions are not necessarily untrue. If am truly an illusion you fashioned, then it at least means you must have thought of me at some point. That in itself is a comfort.

I miss the time we spent together. I feel the same way.

… My dearest magister.

[graciegoeskrazy]

It was no use at all

(Matty Healy x Daughter!r)

Warnings: yelling, crying, breakups, angst, lowk just hurt/comfort???? Idk, reader is like pre teen ish, the ending is good at least so hm

A/n: I wrote this in two hours and I’m posting it now immediately after….idk what’s happening man

You were sitting cross-legged on the couch, a tattered math workbook spread out in front of you. The numbers on the page blurred together as you frowned, chewing the end of your pencil in frustration. When the front door creaked open, you looked up, relief flooding your face.

“Hi, Dad,” you called, watching Matty shuffle inside.

His response was a half-hearted hum as he kicked off his boots and tossed his keys into the bowl. He trudged into the living room, never meeting your eyes, collapsing into the armchair with a sigh. His fingers rubbed at his temples, and his whole posture screamed exhaustion.

“You okay?” you asked, your pencil hovering above the workbook.

“Yeah,” he muttered, his voice low and clipped. “Just tired.”

You studied him for a moment, noting the tight set of his jaw and the way his fingers trembled slightly as he ran them through his curls. Something was off, but you weren’t sure if you should press him about it.

Instead, you turned back to your workbook. “Can you help me with this?” you asked after a moment, holding up the page. “I don’t get it.”

He barely glanced at you before shaking his head. “Not now,” he said curtly.

“Please? I’ve been stuck on it for like an hour.”

He let out a sharp sigh, his hand dropping to his lap. “I said not now, alright?”

His tone made you flinch, but you tried again. “It’s just one problem-”

“For God’s sake, can’t you figure it out yourself?” he snapped, letting out a sigh after. “You’re not a little kid anymore!”

Your mouth fell open, the pencil slipping from your hand. “What’s your problem?” you asked, your voice trembling. “Why are you yelling at me?”

Matty leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “Because I’m tired,” he said, his voice muffled. “Tired of always having to—” He stopped himself, exhaling sharply.

“Having to do what?” you challenged, hurt and confusion swirling in your chest. “Help me? Be my dad? Do your job?”

His head snapped up at that, regret flashing in his eyes. “That’s not what I meant,” he said quickly, but the damage was done.

You stood, grabbing your workbook and shoving it under your arm. “Forget it,” you muttered, storming toward the kitchen.

“Wait,” He called after you, but you ignored him, slamming the door behind you.

…

After the fight, after you’d stormed off and left your dad sitting alone in the living room with the weight of his guilt, he pulled out his phone. His thumb hovered over the contact list for a moment before settling on George’s name.

The phone rang twice before George picked up, his voice crackling with familiar sarcasm. “What’s wrong now, Matty? Writer’s block or midlife crisis?”

“Neither,” Matty grumbled. “I need advice.”

“Should I be worried?” George teased, but there was a note of concern beneath the humor.

“Is Charli there?” Matty asked, leaning back into the couch and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, why?” George asked, and Matty could hear Charli’s voice faintly in the background. “Hang on, she’s coming.”

A moment later, Charli’s voice chimed in. “What do you need now, Matthew?”

Matty sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “I messed up. Big time.”

“Define ‘big time,’” Charli said, her tone shifting to something softer but still wary.

“I yelled at her,” Matty slowly admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Like, really yelled. Over nothing. She just asked me for help with her homework, and I lost it. And now she’s mad at me, and I feel like the worst dad in the world.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line before George broke it with a dry laugh. “Well, mate, you’ve definitely hit peak ‘dad meltdown.’ Congrats.”

“George!” Charli scolded, though Matty could hear the smile in her voice.

“I’m serious!” George protested. “It’s a rite of passage, losing your cool over math homework. Classic stuff.”

“It’s not funny,” Matty snapped, though his voice lacked bite. “I scared her, George. She looked at me like I was some kind of monster.”

Charli’s tone turned gentle. “Matty, she knows you’re not a monster. But you’ve got to own it. Apologize, explain yourself, and make it right. She’s old enough to understand that you’re human too.”

“Yeah,” George added, “just don’t get all sappy about it. She’s almost a teenager. They can smell weakness.”

Matty groaned, tipping his head back against the couch. “You’re both useless.”

“Hey, we’re not the ones yelling at kids,” George shot back, though there was no malice in his tone. “Seriously, though, you’ll be fine. You’re a good dad, Matty. Even good dads screw up sometimes.”

Your dad just hummed.

Charli didn’t hesitate. “We know so. Now go sort it out before she starts plotting revenge.”

Matty chuckled weakly. “Thanks, guys.”

“Just don’t call us when she starts asking about boys.”

“Goodbye, George,” Matty said firmly, hanging up before his friend could say anything else.

…

Your Dad made his way up the stairs and to your room. He knocked softly, the door opening slightly. He didn’t realize it was cracked open. You had a habit of eavesdropping and Matty wanted to bet you kept your door open to listen to his phone conversation. He didn’t mind though. To him it was proof that he cared and that you heard him.

He knocked on the door to grab your attention before leaning on the doorframe. You didn’t look up at him or did nothing to acknowledge his presence. He spoke anyway, “You still need help with that?”

He could see you thinking about it - the wheels processing in your head. You were stubborn, just like him, you weren’t going to give in that easily. Yet, you were still stuck on the same twenty problems you had been on an hour ago.

You nodded, still not meeting his eyes. He sat next to you on the ground and gestured for you to hand him the workbook. Once you handed it to him you brought your knees up to your chest. “Jeez, they’re teaching you these things already? I swore I didn’t learn this till algebra I.”

You shrugged, “I’m in the advanced placement class, remember?” you reminded him shyly.

He nodded, “Of course you are.”

When you finally solved the last problem, you leaned back with a small smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “Got it,” you said softly, closing the workbook.

Matty ruffled your hair, trying to lighten the mood. “See? Knew you’d crack it. Smart kid.”

You didn’t swat his hand away this time. Instead, you stayed still, your gaze fixed on the closed workbook, playing with its frayed edges.

Something twisted in his chest. “You okay?” he asked gently.

You nodded quickly, but the way you blinked and turned your head to the side gave you away. Your dads heart sank when he saw the tear slip down your cheek, catching in the faint glow of the desk lamp.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured, sliding closer. His earlier confidence evaporated, replaced by a protective urgency. “What’s wrong, love? Talk to me.”

You shook your head, swiping at your cheek. “I’m fine.”

Matty wasn’t buying it. “No, you’re not,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “Is this about earlier?”

You hesitated, your hands fidgeting in your lap. “I just…” You trailed off, your voice barely audible. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I thought maybe if I did the math with you, you’d feel better. But it didn’t work. You just got mad, and I-I don’t know.”

Your words hit Matty like a punch to the gut. His hands hovered awkwardly for a moment before he reached out, pulling you into a hug while you sat in his lap. You didn’t resist, but you didn’t relax into him, either.

He held you tighter, his chest aching. “You didn’t bother me,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I was being a selfish twat. None of this was your fault- not the fight, not anything. I was upset about something else, and I took it out on you, and that’s not fair.”

You didn’t respond, but your head dropped against his chest, your quiet sniffles cutting through the silence.

Matty pulled back just a bit. Enough for his thumb to catch the few tears that had fallen. He paused for a moment, searching for the words. “I… there’s something I need to tell you.”

You looked up at him, blinking in surprise.

He took a deep breath, the weight of the words heavy in his chest. “She broke up with me today.”

You blinked again, clearly processing. “What?”

Matty exhaled slowly, trying to find some clarity amid the haze of emotions. “It…it doesn’t really matter. But I was angry. And I thought I could ignore it, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to deal with it, and then you-” His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard. “And I took it out on you. That’s not fair. I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t say anything for a long moment, just curled into him, quiet but comforting.

Matty pulled you closer, his hand gently resting on the back of your head. “I’ll make it right, I swear. You didn’t deserve any of that. You never do.”

You nodded, but there was a sadness in your eyes that didn’t fade.

He sighed, the weight of his earlier actions still heavy on his shoulders. He rubbed your back, a comforting motion, but deep down, he knew the words wouldn’t be enough this time. He had more to make up for.

“I’m sorry, love. I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t say anything for a while, but you didn’t pull away either. Eventually, as the quiet stretched between the two of you, you leaned back against him, your head resting on his chest.

After a long, quiet moment, you murmured, “I liked her, you know.”

Matty’s heart clenched, and he swallowed hard, blinking back the sting of tears that had nothing to do with his breakup and everything to do with the delicate truth in your voice.

“I know you did,” he said softly, his fingers brushing through your hair, his chest tightening. “She was good to you, wasn’t she.”

“I liked her,” you repeated, your voice quiet but sure. “She made you happy, and I liked that.”

Your dad smiled. He kissed the top of your head. “I know, love. But you make me the happiest. You’re the only girl I need.”

You didn’t reply, but you didn’t pull away either. The warmth of his embrace was everything, comfortable and safe in a way that made the sadness feel a little more bearable.

“You know,” he murmured after a while, “I can’t promise I won’t screw up again, but I’ll try. I’ll keep trying. We’re in this together, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered back, and for the first time in a while, the softness in your voice felt real.

Matty leaned his head down and kissed the top of your hair, holding you close. As the minutes passed, he let his heart settle, but he knew the work wasn’t over. There was still healing to be done, and he would be there, doing everything he could, every step of the way.

[girlwithherheadinthestars]

study tips i made instead of studying

first and foremost, do as i say not as i do (as in don't post study tips on tumblr when you have seven tests to study for)

make it aesthetic, that's always super motivating. put a playlist in the background like the "you're a princess researching about your mother while trying to overthrow your father" or "solving a mystery in your elite boarding school" or "studying in a library with the ghosts" (look them up they're good god knows i'm too lazy to link them) also mcu soundtracks help me so much!!

pretty notes!!

DRINK WATER (go now fr or i'm going to find you)

something i like to do is keep a big cup of water next to me and force myself to sit and study until it's empty

open windows!!! wind helps me focus personally

pretend you're studying in hogwarts or in the dead poets society or something. imagination is very powerful

snacks!!!!!!

more snacks!!!!!!!!!!

get interested in what you're studying. like fr. stuff we learn in school is amazing af like what do you mean we found out the universe is expanding through red-shift??? ok i know this is very nerdy of me but it's cool af. BE NERDY.

take breaks <3 always

pretend you have a rival you need to destroy (if you have one that's even better, personally me and my rival sometimes study in the same room to motivate each other just by glaring at each other from across the room)(side note: this could also be his method of flirting i will never know)

stand up and walk around every once in a while. for all my figure skating besties -- try to do an off-ice axel in your kitchen. it tends to wake me up because i tend to fall when i try to do a double but whatever that's a me problem.

find somewhere comfortable and wear something comfortable

make a to-do list

SEPARATE SECTION ABOUT TO-DO LISTS BECAUSE I HAVE A WHOLE SYSTEM FOR THIS

first of all you're going to brain dump everything you have to do. every little thing. including walking your dog. everything that has to be done in the next 24 hours.

let's take a sample to do list:

- math quiz

-math homework

-physics presentation

-chemistry test

-french oral

next, you're going to give each of them a score. how do we put scores? well

give it an easiness score from 1 -> 10 (10 being you can do it upside down with your eyes closed)

give it a stress score from -1 -> -10 (-10 being it causes crippling anxiety)

give it a priority score from 1 -> 10 (10 being your teacher will hunt you down if it isn't done in the next hour)

finally, give it in a convenience score from -1 -> -4 (-4 being i don't know where my notebook is my pen is in antartica i have no material to do this atm)

for me it would be something like

- math quiz (5E, -1S, 10P, -2C) 12

-math homework (7E, 0S, 8P, -1C) 14

-physics presentation (6E, -2S, 5P, -2C) 7

-chemistry test (2E, -2S, 10P, 0C) 10

-french oral (10E, -3S, 8P, -1C) 14

then sort everything. do the highest scores first and the lowest scores last (so you get the easy stuff done and get motivated to continue) and there! your to-do list is done in the least painful way possible <3

[melancholic-pigeon]

Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.

THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.

Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.

Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.

Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.

I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.

End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

*revised for clarity

[allbeendonebefore]

went to this fabulous talk about the parthenon marbles last night and 24 hours later im still buzzing with excitement about it and seeing my profs and then of course today i get an email from my boss asking for updates and im just aarghh why am i doing this work why am i not going back to school why am i not going on an archaeology dig ugh ugh ugh

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[txmxkis]

been going crazy over jing yuan today. no one is shocked

[immortalsins]

feels like i'm stuck in the hellscape that i left after covid but it's just living alone with my dad for more than a weekend

[numetalkids]

*inhales*.....................DEEP SIGH

[theamazingannie]

Kinda crazy how people will call out celebrities for not speaking up on political issues and then a celebrity WILL speak up on that political issue but doesn’t do it in exactly the way these people want so they’ll call THEM out too and it’s like why tf would anyone want to do anything these days if every action they take gets them called out???

[britneyshakespeare]

i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

[kateis-cakeis]

people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh

(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)