#no i am not mad at you for making this because it's so brilliant don't mind me being a BITCH AND SCREAMINGAIUSJDIUASKJDSJADAUYSHD

[acid-ixx]

I have a question, well 2 questions to be exact that’s been rattling around in my head since I started reading platonic yandere batfam fics, why would reader stay in Gotham? I’d be sneakily stealing as much money as I could without getting caught as soon as I reach a “fuck these guys” mentality. Like, asking to have some money for groceries or something and just pocketing it so that I could get a bus ticket and leave the city. Would you do it if you were reader? It just makes sense to me “this place sucks, these people suck, I’ve gotten enough to leave”, this is with me assuming that reader has the means of course, if the reader doesn’t then okay, yeah that makes sense

And my second question, do you ever feel resentful towards Alfred when you read batfam photonic yandere content? I do sometimes, especially when the reader is neglected. I know this might sound odd but when I read these fics I recognize that Alfred could do more, out of everyone in the manner, I think Alfred’s word carries the most weight, especially with Bruce due to him raising Bruce. I also notice in some batfam fics that the reader doesn’t get mad at him due to him giving them attention, but idk it feels kinda like a slap to the face, knowing that I don’t have the power but he does and yet not exercising it until I’ve burned every last tie to that family.

I know my thoughts are a more “well you’re on the outside looking in” type takes, but idk, it hurts my heart knowing that if reader stays in that city, it will be far more easier for the batfam to find them, where if they were outside the city, they’d have a fighting chance to make a new life for themselves

On a side note, I think we are underutilizing the angst potential of reader legally changing their name and the batfam not knowing until months or even years later when reader leaves. Like Bruce and the fam would just have to sit and realize that reader hates/dislikes/doesn’t care about them enough to legally change their name from Wayne to whatever reader chooses. Jason was Batman’s greatest failure, but Reader would be Bruce’s greatest failure, and what a delightful public failure it would be if the tabloids were to somehow find out that one of Bruce Wayne’s biological children changed their legal name

I’m loving your batfam content btw, like it makes me want to create one of those “screw therapy, I need to fist fight my dad” tiktoks and tag Bruce Wayne, that’s what I can phenomenal writing!! And sorry for making this so long! Hope you have a great existence!

slight spoilers for future chapters.

this is one of my favorite asks... anon, you are so brilliant because your two questions tie into the reader's character so well and the flaws that they (you) conjured from years of neglect, so i hope my answers would suffice (i am answering based on the perspective of the reader from my series: again & again with a bit of my own perspective). tysm for sending this in, i actually really enjoy long asks and appreciate it when people take the time to send me these things!

why would the reader stay in gotham?

chapter one wasn't all the detailed about why they stayed in gotham. firstly, their self-worth had them reason that in no way, shape, or form would their family that basically estranged them would come running to them, especially not when the only time the reader could even stumble across them is by some miracle of coincidence. this also ties into their lack of knowledge about their family. sure, they know that babs is the oracle but do they know just how much access she has across gotham? not really. they know tim, like bruce, has a tendency to collect information about other people, but they don't know that they have contingency plans to be creeped out enough to get away from gotham and from their reach.

"it's not like tim or bruce or barbara considered you important enough to be stalked. hah, as if!"

and the third point is, despite bruce being a billionaire of some sort, it was stated that the reader was too well-behaved and quiet. how does this make sense? as you've stated, they wouldn't simply have the means to get out. seeing as they were sheltered by alfred and never really explored the concept of traveling far away, they never asked for money; the only advantage of being a wayne is having quite a lot of things served on a silver platter.

they have this sort of toxic bond for staying with the people who have hurt them and it materialized to them physically staying despite knowing it would only cause more pain than anything else, and they don't know that. plus, they'd rather not have the wayne name associated with them and getting money from cheques or credit cards would be too risky for the reader's safety.

they've only realized just how shitty their family is after more than 10-13 years of staying in the manor, and saving up to move to an entirely different place would be difficult, alongside college and the jobs they have to take. so the next best thing they could do is rely on any means of advantage they could get whilst also moving on to the path of self-discovery and recovery.

but that doesn't mean they're staying in gotham forever, definitely not. the moment the reader realizes that dick gained some sort of interest towards them, they're booking it out of gotham. preferably to metropolis or central city or even somewhere far, far away— they're naive, but not stupid. sudden interest towards them means danger rather than anything else. and they're aware that alfred is capable enough to pull strings, so that's why spoiler alert: they have a secret stash of money hidden somewhere and like any children of bruce, they inherited the capability to be smart enough to already back up their contacts and everything on their phone, buy a burner phone and even change their entire identity in one quick go right after they move into an entirely different city or country.

gotham is merely their practice course.

do you ever feel resentment towards alfred?

quite frankly, yes. the reader in the fic feels resentment towards everyone for a reason actually, but alfred's part was stated vaguely as to not spoil a future chapter that focuses on his perspective. they know that he has the more power inside the manor more than bruce has. everyone, and i mean everyone respects alfred, and it doesn't take a genius to know that if you mess with him, you're messing with an entire family of crime fighters.

it's not obvious, but the reader's narrative in chapter one is them trying so hard to delude themself into thinking things can be better until it's too late. so in a sense, there's false narrative coming into play.

"alfred would be too busy sometimes to attend your school ceremonies because he had to assist bruce with missions. of course, you understood his priorities. after all, he tried his hardest to make you feel less lonely inside the mansion, it wasn't enough but he was there at least."

at some point in time, alfred had also neglected the reader emotionally with the same reasoning as the others; he was busy with their father. and this all could've been avoided if alfred had tried to confront the entire family about it. i'm not delving deeper into this to really avoid spoilers other than pointing out some details in the first chapter.

just know that alfred relishes in your newfound favoritism towards him, and that he may or may not have pulled some strings himself from helping you become closer to the family.

the part about reading changing their name from (name) wayne to (name) (last name) is what made me so drawn to this ask. you have pretty much predicted one of the chapters that explored (name) wayne to the public eye. they're not so much of an internet celebrity because of their rare appearances in public, but that's what causes immense curiosity about their identity to uprise in gotham, and their fame was one of the means to get to you.

there was one news article published that was the reason that made bruce distant towards you.

but let's focus on what yan! bruce would've felt once he turns a full 360.

because the first thing he would do once he has you in his grasp is to change your last name back to his. you are not the child of a (last name), you are a wayne first and foremost, bruce's third child and his greatest mistake, quite literally. you were a product of a one-night-stand, and because he was drowning in despair from jason's death, he had failed to notice you. all his years of neglect, and he doesn't even know a single thing about you, simply because he refused to acknowledge your presence.

and you rightfully hated him, he should've accepted that. but your diary entries and the way you innocently thought of him destroyed any sliver of hope for a peaceful reconciliation. he hates how you were experiencing the same type of despair as him when it comes to battling your own monsters— you truly are a wayne at heart. he couldn't afford to let you get away any further. just like dick, he needs to fix it now or further sever the already broken ties you have with him.

it's not batman now, but rather bruce. bruce wayne had failed to save another one of his children, not as a vigilante, but as a father.

knowing bruce, he's quick to take into action and search for you.

holy shit, this is a really long post but i hope it does answer the questions ! im so grateful that you like my writing enough to write a really long ask, and i hope to see your messages more once the new chapters are published <3

[doki-doki-imagines]

hello! I am the person who requested that reader with a cat who likes the boys a lot if u remember that request.

may I request (if ur not uncomfortable with it) some period comfort with an afab!reader (they/them pls) just taking care and helping reader with their period? if it's not too much can u also include reader sleeping a lot and craving lots of food (typical ik) and how reader just gets mad rlly easily.

characters: bi-han, syzoth, shang tsung, kenshi, raiden and liu kang

thank u and have a good day :) (smiling through the pain)

author note: I'm super late, but I suppose it's better than never. Hope you'll like these! Link to the cat post

Kenshi Takahashi: -He…He can smell when you are on your period. -Actually Kenshi can even tell when it is coming so he is always ready with food when it finally comes. -He tries to keep your pelvis warm and treat you softly since your body gets sore way more easily. -Kenshi goes a bit insane when you're ovulating, so now he is more calm and soft. -He'll try to make your mean comments slide, but it is hard for him, so it's better not to exaggerate, or Kenshi will snap back.

Raiden: -Really sweet and understand your needs. -But Raiden won't be a sticky boyfriend. He has work to do and won't take a day off. -When he finally understands how this period works for you, he will be prepared for the next one. -Your fave food? Check. Warm beverages? Check. Cover and 3 different kinds of movies to match your current mood? Check. -When Raiden gets home tho he is all for you. He likes to put you in his arms and draw circles on your hand, waiting for you to fall asleep on his chest. -Mean words are nothing to him. A king of taking the hit and making it slide off him.

Liu Kang: -"You bastard! Couldn't you erase menstruation while creating this world?" You whine into his arms, cramps making you curl in his body.

"Would you rather lay eggs, dear one?" Liu Kang replies, with a smile on his face, forefinger lifting your chin up to make you look into his brilliant eyes.

"You are just a meanie." You snap back, pushing his face away from yours, making a laughter blossom in his throat. -He tries not to make you eat too much junk food, but he'll back off when you look at him with fury in your eyes. -His body is better than any cover.

Bi-Han: -I'm sorry, but he would be pretty cold. -He was raised in a way that even if you were dying, you should take care of yourself without the help of anybody, so at max, he'll send your way a doctor. -Bi-Han has to work A LOT on being a normal human. He really doesn't know how to work around normal feelings that are outside his field of work. -And the future grandmaster lessons he has been given as a kid never focused on helping his partner out. It is already much that he decided who to be with. -Bi-Han probably knows very little about how menstruation works, mostly because they taught him not to care about other people and just think about how to be the perfect Lin Kuei's leader. -First work on making him act as a decent human, then Bi-Han will even make you a special tea to make your cramps less painful. -And if you look particularly pitiful he may snuck junk food too…

Syzoth: -The first time he saw you losing blood, he panicked because "Why are you losing blood?!?!" -After you explain how things work, Syzoth will let out a breath of relief. -Surprisingly, he understands pretty well that losing blood is a pain, so he doesn't mind following your order like a butler. -Syzoth is gonna snuggle under the covers with you, btw. -Not used to you being mean tho, even if he understands you aren't fine, he still takes those words personally.

Shang Tsung: -Actually, he'd make a potion to make your cramps fade. -But he doesn't do anything for nothing…are you ready to try his next experiments? Maybe the potion isn't as safe as he says. -Shang Tsung satisfies your cravings, but don't nag too much, or he'll get annoyed. -Also, don't be mean, or he will snap back, then you'll start to cry, and actually Shang Tsung has a weakness: your tears. Then he'll have to try to make you stop, but sadly, another mean word slips…it's an endless cycle that makes him think just "Hope this will end soon."

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Dolonia

Dolonia is defined as: a state of unease prompted by people who seem to like you too much, which makes you wonder if they must have you confused with someone else—someone flawless, selfless, or easy to understand from a distance.

Potter rolled over, pressing his too hot, too sweaty body against Draco's. And in spite of the fact that he was altogether too hot, that he was sticky, and still breathing too heavy, he couldn't find it in himself to complain.

"That was good," Potter said, trailing his fingers over Draco's ribs, brushing back and forth lightly and leaving trails of electricity shaking through Draco's chest.

He hummed, hoping it sounded aloof and noncommittal, like he wasn't trying too hard and didn't care too much about Potter's opinion, anything to convince himself that that was the truth.

"Do you want to order in some food from the Thai place down the street?" he asked, "or maybe we could go out? There's that diner a couple of blocks away, y-"

"You want to eat with me?" he asked incredulously, because fucking was one thing and occasionally sleeping in the same bed after being too tired to move made sense. But going out and eating together was something else entirely.

"Yeah," Potter said, shrugging like it was no big deal. "I'm starving, aren't you? We haven't eaten since lunch and that case was no easy thing to solve."

"Yes," he conceded, "That's what the celebratory sex was for."

Potter laughed, that bright, delighted sound that made it seem like nothing in the world was wrong. "Sure, just." He sat up, looking down at Draco, eyes impossibly large and impossibly green, "do you not want to get food with me? It's fine if you don't," he added, "just say so and I'll leave you to it."

"It's not that I don't want to get food with you," he said with a frown, staring at the mole on Potter's neck to avoid looking into his eyes. "It's just that you seem to be making this into something that it's not."

"What do you mean?" he asked, fingers carding through Draco's hair and brushing the loose strands back off his face.

He rolled his eyes, trying to make himself seem less vulnerable than he actually felt. "It's like you don't remember who I actually am sometimes."

Potter laughed, "Of course I remember who you are. You're my annoying, prat of a partner, too brilliant for his own good. You're the idiot that I come in to work with every morning wondering what sort of chaos my day is about to hold because even simple robbery cases turn into something that has years of ancestral battles and blood magic tied into it. You have very particular tea habits, and you like everything just so. I drive you mad but you still put up with me in your bed anyway."

"You're a good fuck, Potter," he said flippantly.

With a laugh, Potter leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose, like casual affection was the sort of thing that they did. "I know you."

And that reminded Draco of where this had all started, "right, but it's like you don't remember all the other parts, all of the things that came before."

He shrugged, "Why would I? You aren't that person anymore, you don't believe those things, you've turned your entire life around."

"But I am still those things," he said, shaking his head. "Sure, I don't believe what I used to, but that doesn't change that I was raised in that culture, it doesn't change that I still go to have brunch with my parents at the manor every other Sunday, or that I know how to get my way in the Ministry, or that I'm an expert manipulator-"

"Hey," Potter said, cupping his cheek. "Hey. Relax. Take a breath," he said, lips pressing to the crease between Draco's eyebrows. "You're okay. We're okay."

"I'm don't-"

"I know who you are, Draco."

"But-"

He shook his head, "I know who you are. I remember all of the things there are to know about you. I know who you were, I know all of the work you've done to be different, I know who you are now. I know you," he repeated. "Just like you know me. It's what makes us such good partners in the office and out of it." He let out a soft self-deprecating chuckle, "Please don't think that you're the only one of the two of us who's spent the past fifteen years meticulously watching the other. I know you, Draco."

He frowned up at him, uncertain where this could be going then, if Potter consciously chose Draco with all of his faults and flaws instead of just for the convenience of it.

"I know you," he repeated, "and I want you." He shrugged, "I've just been waiting for you to be ready to hear it." He grinned at him, "So, what do you say? Dinner?"

And how could he say anything but yes?

[giantkillerjack]

Update: Having finished Smile (2022) with only minimal fast-forwarding (I'll go back and re-watch it fully at a much later date), I can confirm 3 things:

I am an absolute fucking pineapple for starting a horror movie past 10pm. The previous personal rule I had was "no starting horror media after midnight", and I started this movie at 11:54pm. I see now that my previous rule was... insufficient. My adrenaline isn't going to go down enough to sleep until at least 5:00am. I am a kumquat of a man. I am a silly little transgender kiwi-lime spritz. I am a passionfruit-strawberry smoothie with boba for brains, and I have made an error.

Most people who are suicidal should not watch this movie. Just-- go watch The Babadook for now if you absolutely must watch a movie about a literal trauma monster, and come back to this one when it has less of a chance of causing harm to you. Both are great movies. Smile is just a lot more bleak. - And that is in comparison to a movie where a woman snaps her a small dog's neck in front of her 6-year-old child. I mean, The Babadook is absolutely hopeful in comparison.

This movie fucking slaps. It is extremely fucking good. If you are in a place to watch a bleak and TERRIFYING movie about suicide, this is an excellent fucking movie. (If you're not sure, please save it for later! It's not going anywhere!)

I mean, I want everyone in my life who failed to support me in my own time being suicidal to have to watch this movie because it is a brutal look at what it is like to have a deadly mental illness that you don't have the language to explain and that you just can't get people to understand the danger of. Gods know those folks who failed me would probably STILL fail to understand what I'm showing them, but MAN, it is a BRUTAL message about not believing mentally ill people.

My only real complaint tbh is that the character of the white cop ex-boyfriend was WAY too helpful and understanding to the mentally tormented main character. Which ultimately means that the film did fail to understand and highlight the way that the cops play a direct role in perpetuating the very same abuse and neglect of the mentally ill in America that this movie is about!

(The fact that the main character's therapist mentions that she is legally obligated to call the cops if she determines her patient is dangerous shows that the movie is at least partially aware of this issue, but it fails to commit in this respect.)

But otherwise, yeah, this is an amazing fucking movie and the most visceral demonstration of the horrors of psychosis and untreated PTSD that I've seen, while actively challenging the ableist horror movie tropes I've come to expect from any horror movie that shows ANYTHING related to mental health.

This movie really said, "NO, you're not gonna get murdered by a bunch of crazed lunatics. That's fucking stupid. You're MUCH more at risk to BECOME someone other people CALL a lunatic for reasons outside of your control... and then there will be nobody that can help you."

And THAT'S the horror story I think neurotypical people need to fucking hear. The same way I don't need another "oh man wouldn't it be scary if you met some POOR PEOPLE with FACIAL DEFORMITIES" cannibal hillbilly movie, when the REAL horror of THAT situation is the kind of treatment a poor person with an unusual face could expect from a group of lost college kids who represent wealthy society at large.

I give Smile a 9/10, with the caveat that, again, this story is a tragedy about mental health. And it's an important story to tell...

But as a person whose life was saved by the patients and counselors at a mental hospital's intensive outpatient program, I want to emphasize that this movie would have fucked me up really badly back then, and it could have even discouraged me from seeking the trauma treatment that helped my life stop being a living hell.

So I wanted to emphasize one more time to please be careful with this film if you're currently having a Bad Time, and also emphasize that not all of our stories end in tragedy. I'm alive and loved and often happy, and I don't want to die, and I once thought that was an impossible state of being for me.

Even though it was fucking chilling for me to recognize that twisted titular smile from this movie as the one I used to draw on my artistic representation of my own suicidality (her name used to be Sue), if i were to draw my trauma monster now, it would look like a small strange little creature that needs love and patience (they don't wanna hurt me; they're just... horribly scared sometimes. But they haven't been Sue in a long time). Things are so different now.

So. Good things are possible. And while sometimes good movies benefit from NOT showing hopeful endings in order to emphasize the real-life stakes of a societal problem, YOU, reading this, are not yet lost.

The possibility of a better life - however slim or grim - cannot truly die so long as you draw breath.

And I happen to personally know a lot of people working to help make that chance bigger and better because doing so is MY life's work, and this has led to me making a lot of awesome, radical, kind friends. We are Many.

And that matters. You matter. And even if you, now, are the only person who ever reads this - if you can be even a hair's breadth gentler to yourself today in any way, then, by my metric, I have written a wildly successful movie review.

(Especially considering that I am, at my core, a sapient mango who now has to watch funny YouTube videos until 5-fucking-AM because I am JUST A SILLY LITTLE GUY OKAY.)

The cool thing about a horror movie that takes place in a mental hospital and, shockingly, actually turns out to be on the side of mentally ill people is that it avoids all the common disgusting pitfalls of mocking, demonizing, and infantilizing mentally ill people.

The downside is

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[It's much scarier.]

[savannahsdeath]

Is there a chance you can toxic Ellie x reader. Where Reader was leaving Ellie for good and she never came back.

just a drabble since im still really busy but i had to write it because we all deserve something better than toxic!ellie!! i know i know we love ellie just, please, not the toxic one🩷

: ̗̀➛ the scene was going on for hours. you kept packing your things, she kept taking them and placing back on the shelves. your shirt had wet stains in places where your tears dropped and soaked into it.

"you're so dramatic." she smirked, taking a step forwards.

: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand. "no, i am not. i won't let you ruin me. not anymore."

"who told you i ruin you?" her amused smile faded as she put her arms on her hips. "can't you see that this person, whoever it was, is manipulating you? they know you're nothing without me so they're trying to separate us. they're praying on your downfall and you? you're just helping them."

"why would my own best friend do something like that? no, ellie, you're just— insane, crazy, a fucking psycho, whatever!" you zipped up your backpack and picked it up.

: ̗̀➛ she watched as you carefully walked over the stairs. "you haven't even packed like... half of your things."

"oh well!" you sarcastically laughed. "you'll have a souvenir."

"so you don't plan on coming back for them?" she frowned, finally realising that, this time, you're serious.

: ̗̀➛ you didn't answer, putting your jacket on. she walked over to you and tried to kiss you, but you dodged her with a hiss.

"come on, babe" she sighed. "y'know how i can make it up to you..."

"just leave me alone" you begged and took a few steps backwards, until your back hit the door.

"don't make a scene" she bit her lip as she watched you make your way through the doorstep. "come back inside and we'll figure something out."

: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and finally turned around.

"okay" she nodded. "have a day off. but i'll find you. you know i will."

: ̗̀➛ you chuckled through your tears. "good luck"

⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

: ̗̀➛ two days later you were in a train to a different state. this decision was spontaneous and you could as well end up being homeless but you were sure you'll survive, somehow. your friend - luccy called you, waking you up from a nap.

"she paid me a visit, to put it politely."

"god" you fully sat up and straightened up, immediately waking up. "how bad was it?"

"i expected worse" luccy chuckled. "it was kinda hilarious, actually. i didn't want to let her in but she, of course, made her way inside anyway. she quickly realised it's too late."

"but she didn't..." you paused, thinking of all the possibilities. your girlfriend, now ex, was capable of a lot of crazy things. "...uh— hurt you or anything?"

"oh, she was mad" luccy laughed again. "but no, she didn't do anything. i'd say we're safe, for now."

: ̗̀➛ you hummed. your plan wasn't too brilliant, but you did everything you could to not leave any clues. she won't find you, you knew she won't. and eventually, she'll completely give up and stop trying. maybe she'll even move on and find someone else? maybe even a healthy relationship?

let's hope so.

[ssentimentals]

hii! can you please do woozi with soft prompt #28 ><

the way this is sososo about woozi is making my head spin!! thank you of course for requesting, hopefully you will like it! 💜

fluff prompt: 'look at you, so small and cute.' 'shut the hell up.'

when they said costume party, you immediately thought of paired costumes with jihoon. you also immediately thought of how he's going to hate it, but girlfriend privileges are strong and you are not above of exploiting them for your advantage. 'we have to go, baby! please!'

jihoon shakes his head without even looking. 'no.'

puppy eyes are a dirty tactic, but they always work; you try to use them only in extreme situations and this situation is extreme, because you really want to go and you want to go with your boyfriend.

'look at me. jihoon!' when he finally turns around, you attack him with your best puppy eyes. 'please?'

jihoon's left eye twitches. '...okay.'

jihoon likes to pretend that he's hating it, but in truth he doesn't even put up much fight. if he really didn't want to he'd make sure to let you know, so when all he does is just whine, you continue with your pursuit of finding best matching costumes. jihoon is obviously being dragged along as well, because it's more fun that way and because you know he's never going to wear something that he didn't approve before hand. 'are you done baby? come out?' you ask, twirling in your pretty blue dress. 'i'm ready, take a look!'

when jihoon walks out, you instantly coo despite his annoyed expression. 'look at you, so small and cute!'

jihoon grimaces. 'shut the hell up.'

you are meant to be alice from alice in the wonderland and jihoon is dressed as a mad rabbit and it's... brilliant, in your opinion. costume looks great and bunny ears on top are really doing the god's work of making him look adorable. too bad he doesn't agree though. 'i am taking this off.'

'nooo,' you whine, coming closer. 'but it looks so well and we're matching, see?'

jihoon rolls his eyes. 'i look horrible.' he then takes a good look on you and his frown gets replaced with a small smile. 'you look beautiful, baby.'

you grin, wrapping your arms around him. 'thank you, i really like it. don't you want to match with me?'

it's puppy eyes, of course. it's dirty and you promised to use it only in extreme situations, but this is one. jihoon tries to reject you, you can tell. his jaw is clenched and he looks like he's battling hard, but it's a lost battle, you both know it. with a resigned sigh, he nods. 'yeah, okay. let's buy this one.'

jihooon may act all grumpy, but when you cheer and kiss him, he's smiling into the kiss because your happiness is contagious and because your happiness is his priority. 'let's go to the cashier.'

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[silvershiningtarot]

PAC 18+ 👐🏾A Little Love Letter from your Soulmate & Twin Flame ~ Pick a Pile.

❤️A channeled Message from your future partners. Take what resonates and what doesn't. You can pick more than one pile.

Our time doesn't stop. I just wanna know how you feel about me. You wanna know how I feel about you? I dream about you all the time. I feel that our souls are already married. Can you feel it? I get this shocked feeling when I hold your hand in my dreams. I know your face. Remember that. In our past life, we were hunted down. I don't know why I said that but I guess it was meant to be said. I am your person whether or not you believe it. When you sing in the middle of the night, I can hear you. I love that curve body you got. I will be watching you over from the stars. I have incarnated myself to meet you. Can you believe that now? My sweet love ❤️, Do you remember me? You told me that you remember. How can you forget? You and I are the same. Our soul is the same. I don't like labels. Or you might like labels. You probably consider me a rebel but I’m not I just don't like labels. You and I share the same soul. You know that right? I feel that you run away from me because you're scared. No need to be. I got you. I won't let you fall. Of course, you dream about other dudes, and you think that they are husbands but they are not. I am your fucking husband. You piss me off when you don't believe it. You think I can't hear you, but I do. That shit hurts my feelings when you do. Sometimes I distance myself away from you because you push me away. Not me… You! I raise my voice at you, but I tried to call you, but you didn't answer me. Ugh, shit sucks. We are telepathically connected can you feel that? I know this may scare you but I know your name. I know your name seriously. But I am not going to say it. Look at that 3:33. I like it when you dress up so beautifully. Thank you so much, for taking care of yourself. I am glad you are eating. I feel that we should talk more about our life together. Our future life. I have a good feeling that our love lives here will be perfect. I know you see me as a baby daddy. I know I got kids but at the end of the day. My kids are taken care of. You shouldn't be worrying about our kids. That's right I said it my kids are your kids too. We are a family together. From another life before us, you tried to escape with me. But we were caught, I have dreams about our life before. It was just bad. But the good part is I was with you. No matter if I were send-off to war at that time. See! Our clock is going clockwise. Sing to me, my love. Do you dream about our life too? You are such a brilliant person. When I was a young child I manifest you, I remembered watching fairytale movies with my sibling dreaming that is us on the television. I am your beast and you are my beauty. My heart has been cold 🎿 Can you warm 🔅 it up? I love it when you rough me up in your dreams. My dominance-Matrix. Sorry, I tried to be sexy with my words. Obviously, that didn't work. I am such a geek 🤓. Hey, do you watch Revenge of the Nerds? Booger is my favorite character the way he burps is fucking awesome. Haha 😂. We got something in common. Your dreams are my dreams. I am coming to you. Can I cuddle next to you? I wanna touch your soft skin. That makes me feel so happy. I know you are an aggressive woman. But I don't care! Call me bad names, and tied me down if you have. Unleash the monster out of you. 😉😜. Are you ready for your kiss with me? I wrote you this love letter for you. I know you might not wanna hear this I wanna talk to you. Your other father from your past life is saying sorry for locking you up in that castle. My darling, I want you to be okay. I love you very much. He comes to me in my dreams sometimes. But anyway, please don't be mad at me. I am your husband. I miss your voice, and I miss everything about you. I have a breeding kink. So you are going to carry my kids. That's a guarantee.

Hey, chocolate drip 💧 how are you? I'm sorry 💔 that I wasn't ready. I know I send you the wrong message in your dream. Just know that I love every minute of it. Hanging out with you, and hearing your voice. It sounded sexy to me. That shit turns me on. Woah, do you know how sexy you are? You wake up sexy. I've been feeling drained lately. My energy has been drained. I have my good days and I have my bad days. You're my soulmate. I know you don't like labels but I like it. I've been emotional, and I just wanna cry 😭. I wake up thinking about you. I just needed someone to talk to. I still feel alone. I feel that nobody gets me. I tried to put a smile on my face. I feel that someone is after me, I don't know if it bad way or a good way. Look it's 10:10. I'm glad I'm talking to you. You're my new beginning. My fresh start. I know I wasn't ready. I got scared 😱. I was frightened to meet you. I know I let my fear get in the way between us but not this time. I know this sounds fucking weird but I am glad you are being patient with me💞. I am glad you are not running away from me. I can't believe I daydream about you all the time. What would you be like? What kind of future you and I will have? What our babies would look like? I have so many questions to ask you, my dear. See, when I talk to you, I don't think about my problems ⚠️ like that. Your energy, light, and your whole aura just make me happy. I feel all giggling now. Hahaha 🥹😂. I just wanted to talk to you. So how did you sleep? Did you dream about me? I dreamt about you. You are my divine counterpart. I can hear your sweet voice in my head saying my feelings matter. I haven't been okay. Sorry for bringing the mood down. Who am I to tell you to wait on me? Of course, I want you to go out there and fucking date people. You get it. I didn't say to date someone I said people in general. I don't care if I sound possessive or clingy. But I am clingy to you. Everything on your body is mine. It's like you mindfuck me. In a good way. I am not telling you to wait, but I'm hoping 🙏🏾 that you wait. I am truly praying that you wait. Anyways, good morning to you. Or should I say Grand Rising🔅? I pray 🙏🏾 for you all the time. You know that right every single day I pray for you. I hope you can hear my prayers🙏🏾. Anyways, I love you. I wanna tell you my life story. I mean you know some of it because of what I told the world about and the media. But I still feel shut down. I've been doing a lot of self-work on myself. Like literally been doing shadow work. I have been recognizing a lot of my bullshit, people's fakeness, and my trauma.

Oooh, Hii! Baby. I feel so excited talking to you. It's like you are my energy drink. It's been an honor talking to you. I hope you are having a good day. I remember when I was young I used to draw little hearts ❤️ because I thought about my future wife as a child. So now I'm all grown up. How do you feel about us? How do you feel hearing this story? I have been manifesting you for a very long time. I never thought you exist but you do. Sometimes my friends laugh at me. But do I pay any of those bitches no mind? Hell, the fuck no. They think I'm delusional and you don't exist. You only exist in my head. Hear how that shit sounds. Fucking dumb right? Anyways. Yesterday!! 🤗💯 I hugged you, did you feel it? Our Love is like Disney movies 🎬 but ten times better than any other Disney movies. I've been healing myself. We are going to have a successful life. I love that we are going to be successful. Our connection is fate and we are each other’s destiny. So allow me to introduce myself.

I have a little message to tell you. I just wanna say that I have a huge crush on you. Do You know why I say that? Is because I had a dream about you. I finally saw who you are. Your face is gorgeous. You have the most beautiful face in the world🌸. Can I give you a rose 🌹? I wrote you this letter because I want you to remember that you are something special to me. You are very special. The way how I feel about you. I want you right now. Everything about you brights up my world. I wish that I was right there next to you. Good morning to you. You gave me so much hope. You are such a positive and great human being. You are so caring for the world👐🏾. Baby 👶🏾, are you pregnant? Not yet huh ❔ well you will be soon. I have a breeding kink. I love getting you pregnant. So the way you care for children, makes me feel that you should have kids of your own. I'm glad you are waiting patiently. I love you so much. You are my love. ❤️❤️🌹Will you take my rose? As an honor of my appreciation to you. I appreciate you.

We are each other's perfect match. We are each other's equal. You belong with me forever. See! I said it because you are my favorite person in the world to me. How are you feeling today? Is everything okay, I hope that it is. Because if it isn't, please let me know. I'll put a spell on these fools who are hurting you. I'm not kidding around. I do magic ✨. So again if anyone is bothering you. Just wink 😉 at me. I'll get the message. But anyway enough of that negativity. I hope you are waking up doing yoga. Meditating and just relaxing your mind. I do yoga sometimes. I always meditate because meditation helped me. I was in your shoes before. I was in a dark place but now I realize that I can't fucking seat around and just wait for the universe help me grow. I told myself I want to grow. So I made it my mission to change my life around. Now I feel better. That doesn't mean I don't have bad days but I'm good 🌟. So again, my love I want you to focus on yourself, their problem isn't your problem. Whoever got the drama, don't fucking get involved. That shit pissed me off. So you better begin a new change in your life baby. Anyways that's my message to you. Grow baby, Grow! Not for me, your family, or your friends but for yourself. Have better self-control. Whenever you feel down, angry or sad, or just not in the mood. Go ahead and talk to me🥲. I always talk to you. Listen to my message.

[bwat5-blog]

**Spoilers for all of Arcane**

WHY THIS SHOW MATTERS FOR ME

"Why do we tell Stories? To try and make sense of a world that can be terrifying and enormous.. I don't know that your story will be long be known.. but it did happen- and it did matter"- Brennan Lee Mulligan, Critical Role, EXU Calamity

Arcane has become a true phenomenon. With record breaking viewership transcending various countries, age groups, sexual orientation, and more. You need look no further for an example than the fact that Heimerdinger's song was recorded more than 25 times by the various voice actors representing our favorite absent minded professor, in different countries and languages around the world. So I suppose the question then, is why?

This is hardly a simple question. Like any media, people are enjoying it for all kinds of reasons. There are die-hard LOL players who love seeing these characters and worlds brought to life. There are people reveling in the enormous diversity of representation in the characters. There are those who love the story of the sisters, Caitlyn and Vi's love story, or the sinister mystery that unfolds as the Arcane itself wakes up in this world. The list of reasons people love this show is endless and rightfully so. So I am writing to explain mine because, primarily, the opportunity to share my thoughts/feelings on this incredible story and discuss, and learn and interact with you all has been a true pleasure as we celebrate the achievement this tale has been. As always, for anyone bored enough to read these I appreciate you.

For me, the best stories have and always will make you look deeper into the humanity of our own world through the lens of the story itself. Don't get me wrong, Arcane is FULL of epic spectacle. incredible fights, beautiful animation and music, and more. It's a tale of magic unleashed and warlords and mad scientists. And please do NOT misunderstand me, I LOVE all of those things. It's just that for me, that's not why this story will always live on long after its over.

Vi is a bad-ass brawler who from a young age is literally holding her own with armed adult thugs and able to throw hands wearing Vander's gauntlets. She is tough and brave and an absolute hardass..She is also a young woman who never knew romantic affection before being thrown into a dark, terrifying prison for seven years.. Who is terrified of losing the last family she has left to the point that she cannot put herself first ..and who just needs her dad

Silco is a brutal crime lord who experiments on the vulnerable of the under city and does not hesitate to kill anyone who crosses him. He takes a scared little girl who is in so much pain and twists her up, and weaponizes her grief to the point that she becomes someone new.. someone darker.. He is also a broken, lonely, maimed man who was almost killed by someone he loved as a brother and is desperately trying to hold on to the young woman he loves as a daughter

Caitlyn is a sheltered but brilliant and wealthy woman who is "an excellent shot" ,and becomes a leader of soldiers and someone willing to sacrifice herself in the name of the greater good.. She is also a young woman who has to learn to see herself in the woman she hates/who killed her mother, learning to set aside that hatred, and rage, and grief in order to move on and keep living, and find peace.

I could go on about other characters or expound on the ones I just mentioned, and have in fact done so in other posts. But you get the idea. These characters (and the others) are so rich, dark, nuanced and beautiful. And when you strip away the magic, and the mutated beasts, and the colorful smoke and music what is left? The struggle of the oppressed against their oppressors, a young woman overcoming her inner demons to become a hero to her people, a warrior who had her childhood stolen from her learning that she deserves happiness and peace. I could go on. There are so many of these examples and they all make up the tapestry that is this show.

This is why I continue to champion understanding and accurate recognition of this show. Because it deserves it. Because the stories of these characters and their fight against the darkness of the world in ways grand and small, are the stories that have illuminated our path forward as people for all of time. In today's age of instant-gratification and flash and noise it's easy to forget the impact of things like this on who we are.. But to those of us who believe in the importance of such stories, it always has mattered. And it always will.

“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.”

― Samwise Gamgee

[topazadine]

Extremely controversial writing opinions that will make you mad (but I'm going to say them anyway)

I don't know why but I am in the mood to be pilloried. Before I start, I will show you a picture of my dog so you realize I'm not a heartless monster.

Anyway, obviously this is just my opinion and you are perfectly free to disagree.

None of this is some hard-and-fast rule or even a universal truth.

It is just my opinion as someone who has 15 years of experience, has written about 2 million words, has an English degree, tutored dozens of students, etc etc etc.

Even if it seems like I am universalizing, I am not. Take what you like and leave the rest. Ignore it all if you want. That's your right.

Here we go. Please, don't throw your tomatoes until the end of the post. It distracts me.

Your first book probably sucks (with caveats).

Ideas are pointless if you don't do anything with them.

You are not a writer unless you consistently write.

Making moodboards, playlists, etc, before you have started the project is a form of procrastination.

No one cares about your idea as much as you do and never will.

Most people in your life will not care about your book.

A lot of peoples' opinions about writing are useless to you.

You need to develop healthy self-esteem if you want to be a good writer.

You also need to be humble and have a beginner's mindset forever.

Being mentally ill doesn't make you a better writer. It just means you're mentally ill.

Your real actual life matters more than your writing.

You will burn out if you don't have other hobbies.

Okay, okay, let's make you hate me.

Your first book probably sucks (with caveats).

If this is your first ever long project in writing, it is likely not going to be publishable (or, perhaps, even readable). It takes years, sometimes decades, to learn how to write well.

Do not think that because you have one singular idea and have slapped a book together that you can publish it to widespread acclaim. People who do this are deeply overestimating the quality of their work, seeing it through rose-tinted glasses.

One of my first long-form writing projects as sort of an adult was utter garbage. You can read it if you want; it's a BBC Sherlock fanfic. And it's fucking awful. I had written a lot of smaller things before this, but nothing to this scale. That much is quite obvious.

I'm grateful I started my journey writing fanfic, because otherwise I would have thought this was brilliant life-changing stuff.

In fact, I actually put together a copy of all my Sherlock fanfics called 11 Ways of Playing a Stradivarius that is probably floating around somewhere on the internet (though it got smacked down for copyright infringement eventually, because I was stupid). It sold absolutely zero copies, and rightly so. It's bad.

And that is okay. Shitty writing is par for the course when you are learning. It doesn't mean you'll never be good. It just means you're not there yet.

I have, to my great relief, improved immeasurably over the years, to the point where I have felt confident selling my work for real human money. You can purchase the culmination of that hard work right this instant, if you so choose. Should you do so, I am certain you will see exactly how much I've grown as a writer.

Ideas are pointless if you don't do anything with them.

I know I have said this before but I just need to drill it into your heads. Your idea means nothing unless you actually write the damn thing.

Millions of people have story ideas. Most of them will never do anything with those ideas. At best, they'll daydream about it but make up a billion excuses why they can't. At second-worst, they will badger actual writers to do the idea for them.

At worst worst, they will use AI to do it for them and call it a day. And we will all hate them for it.

You do not need to be protective of your idea or hide it, because someone has already thought of it and then made excuses as to why they can't be bothered to execute it. You have to be the one who doesn't fall into the trap and does the damn thing.

Look, I'll give you all the story ideas I have if you want. I don't care. In fact, I share them frequently and encourage others to give it a shot if they want to.

I'm not hiding any ideas because I know you will not do it exactly as I will. My voice is unique and it doesn't matter if there are dozens of people with the same idea: my story will be mine, and no one else's.

You are not a writer unless you consistently write.

This doesn't mean writing for five hours every day, or even doing 100 words every day. When I get to the tail end of the project, I tend to start slowing down because I have to think more critically about how to tie everything together. During the active drafting phase, I might do 2,000 words per day, but things ease up at the end, both because I'm sad that this phase is almost over and because I don't have much left to do.

But you don't get to call yourself a writer if you write like 100 words a month and spend the rest of the time doing moodboards and talking about your ideas. Whatever your rhythm, you need to stick with it and develop discipline, or you just have an idea and nothing else.

Making moodboards, playlists, etc, before you have started the project is a form of procrastination.

Note I said before you have really gotten into the meat of your project. Moodboards are a great way to promo your project and get peoples' attention, because visuals are more interesting than a wall of text. (That's why I start these kinds of posts with a picture.)

Oh, there's another one!

The thing is that a lot of would-be writers get trapped by the "oh this is research, this is plotting, this is giving me ideas, this is inspo." It's not. It's visual daydreaming and nothing more.

Any time that I have done a moodboard before starting a story, I give up on that story, because then I feel like I've done most of the work when I categorically have not. When I do moodboards once I get to the halfway point, I'm already in the home stretch and have no reason to stop. When I do a moodboard after I am already done and in the revision stage, then I'm good to go and building hype for my project.

Do not waste your time doing moodboards and playlists and visuals before you do the real stuff: worldbuilding, plotting, hammering out characterization. Get started before you start playing around with pretty pictures because it's not really getting you anywhere.

No one cares about your idea as much as you do and never will.

This is pretty self-explanatory so I won't expound too much. Your writing is the most important thing to you, but everyone else has their own stuff going on. If you're building hype with other writers, they have their own projects and are not going to be your free promotional team. They want your attention for their stuff, not yours.

Most people in your life will not really care about your book.

Again, everyone's got their own things going on. Also, most non-writers don't really understand how difficult it is to write a whole book. They are consumers and see the finished project; it's content to them. They care about you, to be sure, but your book doesn't really click as a big accomplishment because they're not familiar with the process.

You may notice, and seethe slightly, that relatively mundane things like weddings, graduations, and baby announcements will get WAY more attention than your book. A friend showing their ultrasound pic will get dozens of likes and comments and congratulations, while like 1 person will say "good job!" when you announce your book.

This is because these kinds of announcements are more relatable to the average person. They may have gotten married, or graduated, or had a baby (and of course probably know dozens of people who have) so they are aware of the challenges and joys.

Unless you are friends with exclusively other writers, your achievement is abstract, and your friends can't really sympathize. Your book is just a way to pass some time.

A lot of peoples' opinions about writing are useless to you.

I do not really like getting beta readers from places like r/betareaders because I have no idea how much that person actually knows about writing. Being able to visualize and suggest ways forward requires an understanding of the craft, but many people think that because they like to read, they know how to critique, when they are completely different skills.

Yes, unknowledgeable beta readers can give you a "man on the street" perspective of your book, but they tend to forget that beta readers are meant to help you fix your book as it is. Not turn it into something they personally would enjoy reading if they are not the target audience.

This requires recognizing audience and putting aside one's own preferences to focus on how the book would come across to an imagined ideal reader. Not everyone can do this. Actually, most people can't.

Some of the dumbest comments I've gotten about my work are from people who want to wrest control away from me and make it their preferred genre/plot/etc. These are useless suggestions.

Wonderful beta readers help to enhance your story, and they are golden. Instead of demanding you do something different, they offer their honest reactions of the work as it is and suggest opportunities to enrich the writing, tweak it, deepen the characterization, and so on.

Helpful beta readers are typically other writers regardless of their specific writing level. Newbie writers can be an excellent resource! And you're helping them, too: they will see your mistakes and know what not to do, and they can learn from your strengths. It's a positive experience all around.

Writers must come to understand what is good advice and what is not. Essentially, anyone who suggests things that are completely out of left field and totally unrelated to what you're trying to do is giving bad advice, and you should ignore them.

You need to develop healthy self-esteem if you want to be a good writer.

When you constantly put yourself down, complain about how bad your first draft is, say you have no idea what you're doing, and insist that no one will ever enjoy your work, guess what: you're right.

But you're right because you're essentially telling other people that your work sucks and they should not give it a chance. What you say about your writing will influence how readers interact with your work. You are priming them to dislike your writing and telling them what to think.

Imposter syndrome strikes all of us at times, but you need to push through it. One of the best ways to do so is to just continue writing. Keep going. Soon enough, you will develop experience, and experience will create confidence, and that confidence will shine through in your work.

When you consider saying something self-deprecating about your work, stop. You're going to make it come true.

You also need to be humble and have a beginner's mindset forever.

Doing so means understanding the difference between being self-deprecating and being humble.

Self-deprecation is when someone says your work is great and you immediately go "oh you're saying that to be nice, it's awful, I hate it."

Humility is when someone says your work is great and you go "Thank you!" and leave it at that.

You're not gloating or bragging by saying thank you, but you're also not cutting yourself off at the knees and making people uncomfortable by self-flagellating.

Honestly, the best thing you can ever say when you get a compliment about anything, including your writing, is just "thank you." Nothing else. Maybe an "I appreciate it" or "I'm glad you think so!" You don't need to go into detail.

But humility also means acknowledging that no matter how long you have been writing, there is always something you can do better. You will always be learning and making mistakes. Thinking you've peaked is when your writing gets stale and boring.

I have been learning rock climbing, and one of my favorite things to do is to watch pro climbers critique their own technique. They're not self-deprecating or saying they're horrible, but they're also not claiming they are perfect and can never do anything better.

Magnus Midtbø is incredible because even though he is a truly masterful climber, he posts a lot about his fails or when other climbers make him eat shit. This is an amazing video of him getting wrecked by an Olympic climber and taking it on the chin! He doesn't whine about how bad he is, he's just like "hmm, yeah, I can see where I screwed up, I'm so glad that I got to watch you climb, this is an honor."

That is the perfect blend of confidence and humility. He knows he can improve, but he doesn't deride his own skill. This is the mindset you need as a writer.

Being mentally ill doesn't make you a better writer. It just means you're mentally ill.

Anyone can be a good writer. Mental illness does not give you a super-secret advantage. It actually puts you at a disadvantage because your brain is expending so much energy staying stable that it does not have the same capacity as other people.

Fix your mental health issues instead of using them as a crutch or deluding yourself into believing they make you special. Like half of the population will develop some type of mental illness during their lifetime, and insisting that you need your mental illness to write is trapping you by making you not want to get help.

I have severe bipolar. This does not necessarily make me a great writer. In fact, it can make my writing suck ass if I am not stable. And no, you are not somehow exempt from having consequences for refusing to take care of your mental health. I promise you that you will be a better writer when you have sorted out your mental health issues.

Your real actual life matters more than your writing.

This is related to the above point. Your mental health, your stability, your social circle are all crucial elements of being a good, productive writer, and you can't ignore them in favor of suffering for your art.

The quality of my work has skyrocketed at two significant points in my life: once when I got out of a relationship that was hurting me and once when I ditched a toxic friend. The first one was when I started writing fanfic again, and the second was when I finally began The Eirenic Verses.

I would not have written 2 million words if I still had those nasty influences in my life, and I would not be living my best life. I likely never would have found my favorite hobbies and started going to therapy if I was still trapped in those negative cycles. Attending to my real-life problems both enhanced my writing and made me a better, more likeable, more functional person. I expect you will find the same thing.

You will burn out if you don't have other hobbies.

Hobbies. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have other hobbies that have nothing to do with writing. Yes, it means you have less time to write, but it also means that when you do sit down and write, you have better focus because you've fulfilled your other needs.

I picked up horseback riding again in February of this year and go once a week. I can't stress enough how good this has been for my writing and for my overall well-being. I have pretty bad agoraphobia, but since I started riding again, I have been less scared of leaving the house and less worried about what people think about me. My world has become larger and friendlier.

Now I'm doing rock climbing too. The physical and mental stimulation helps me focus better when I write, and I get way more done in less time. Plus, the quality of that writing is better because I'm getting more bloodflow into my brain and nourishing the tissues. There's also the fact that when I do have time to write, I'm not burned out and frustrated because all I've been doing all day is writing.

I look forward to my writing sessions more because they feel like a treat, and I have gotten a self-esteem boost by doing well in the gym. I am happier, calmer, and sleeping better due to the exercise.

Well-adjusted humans need social outlets, physical movement, a strong support network, good nutrition, and opportunities to relax. Our horrible capitalist system makes it very hard to balance all of these, but you must at least try.

Your hobbies don't need to be expensive. It can be something as simple as drawing, or going for a long nature walk, or learning origami, or buying a used camera and learning photography. Go to your local library and take a free course! Join a cheap gym and go a few times a week. Teach yourself something using YouTube. Buy secondhand equipment on Craigslist. There are so many affordable options.

Again, caring for your overall well-being is a true godsend when it comes to writing. Having something else to fulfill you will help you push through those hard days when nothing is coming to you, and it offers your brain a break from plotting, writing, revising, etc.

So that's it. If you read this to the very end, you're quite the gem; I know this was excruciatingly long. And mean.

Since you're here, maybe you will consider purchasing my debut novel, which was written by applying all these tips. (And not using AI - fuck off, NaNoWriMo.)

9 Years Yearning is a coming-of-age gay romance set in a fantasy world with poetry magic. It follows two young men as they grow from sorta-enemies, to frenemies, to friends, and finally to lovers.

If you do read it, please don't forget to leave a review!

Even if it's mean. Don't worry, I won't be mad. Reviews are essential to getting visibility on Amazon, so every single one is golden to me.

[lucien0501]

LETTERS (Wolfstar Oneshot)

Summary: Letters from Sirius Black to Remus Lupin from Azkaban. He isn’t allowed to send the letters so they’re only one sided, which definitely makes it sad. There are a few mentions of fun past Marauders moments/pranks!:) Harry Potter Marauders Fandom

Note: I do not support the views of the author (I am a trans person so....no🤬) but I love these very gay characters so much that I had to write about them!

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Hints of mental instability, losing memories because of dementors, definite angst, mentions of Lily and James’ death, brief mentions of sex, swearing, Sirius’ hate for Peter Pettigrew, death threats towards Peter Pettigrew, and overall kind tragic because Sirius is stuck in Azkaban.  Let me know if I missed any!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moons

I'm not sure why I'm writing to you--we're not allowed to send or receive post from Azkaban, but you know that already. You always seem to know everything, you're smart as hell.

I'm not going to waste parchment explaining everything, I already spend too much time rehearsing what I'm going to say. Lily and James, Remus. I still can't make myself believe it, I'm not sure I want to.

I want to ask you not to forget about me, not to believe I'm a traitor. No, that's a lie. I want to ask you to wait for me. I'll come back to you one day, I promise. It’s selfish of me, to hope you won't move on. But I've always been a selfish bastard, you know that too.

I can't remember your eyes, Remus. Or your laugh. I try, every day to conjure you up from my memories, but the Dementors are slowly sucking you from my mind, one day at a time. I'm terrified of losing you--our years at Hogwarts, for good. I'm scared that one day I won't remember what you taste like, your oversized jumpers, the sounds you make when you come. I love you, Remus, and the Dementors prey on love, it's a feast to them.

But they can't take away my hate, my need for revenge. I fucking hate him, I hate him I hate himIhatehimIhate--

Pads

*

Moony

Do you remember the time we shagged on the big couch in the common room and James found out? He was so disgusted he didn't sit there till Christmas.

Do you remember the time that we all got drunk and played Seven Minutes In Heaven and I charmed the spinner so I'd get you? That was our first kiss. I remember.

Then there was that time that we slipped Snivellus a potion that turned his hair pink for a week. We thought it was the most brilliant thing we'd ever done. Did he retaliate? I'm not sure anymore.

Remember when we snuck out to Hogsmeade through the secret passage and almost ran into Professor McGonagall? Did we get caught? I don't remember.

I'm trying to remember. I have to remember

Padfoot

*

Rem

Half my bloody family is in here, you know. It makes for a wonderful reunion, lots of cursing and threats of murder-- just like old times! 

I wonder if my parents are proud of me now, after what they think I did. After what everyone thinks I did.

I'm sorry. I'm so damned sorry for all of it, for the way I must have hurt you. I wish I could actually send these letters and wish I could talk to you again. Just for a few minutes.

There are so many things I should have done differently. So many things.

Sirius

*

Remus

I wonder where you are, now? What you're doing? 

It's been five years now, for all I know you could be dead or married or finally realized you're better off without me. I wouldn't blame you for the last one. 

That thought haunts me every day, that I'll get out of here and I'll find you and you'll say that you've moved on and none of it matters now.

Cause I will find you. I'm getting out of here, one day.

Sirius

*

This will be my last letter, I'm almost out of parchment and there's no way in hell they'll bring me more. Maybe I'll write on the walls to keep myself from going mad. 

I'm so sorry for everything that I did. For everything that I failed to do. I never told you enough how much I loved you and now it's too late.

I'm going to get out of here, I promise. I have to. 

I'm going to kill him, fucking rip him apart with my bare hands, damn my wand. 

And then I'm going to find you. And everything is going to be alright because then I'll be in your arms. 

[thevindicativevordan]

Hi, hope you are doing well. I am the anon who asked this question about the Maker (post/730144525324009472/im-conflicted-about-the-maker-as-a-character-on) and I wanted to know what are your thoughts on the Marvel Universe as remade by the Maker? I understand that most of it is a comentary/analogy to real life events, with technocompanies rulling the USA, the USA doing experiments in the Pacific with radiation, basically everything Midas stand for, etc. But, looking from the Maker point of view, how do you think it fits with what he wants? And what do you think he wants, in the end?

Perfect time to ask me this because after I got temp banned from the CBR Forums recently, I decided to read all of Ultimate Fantastic Four. I need to amend my earlier post regarding the Maker - he does actually feel like a believable evolution on the flaws that were always present in 1610 Reed:

Even before he became a homicidal maniac, 1610 Reed Richards was a dick. There was a mean streak and petulancy that I had forgotten about. A willingness to walk riiiiiiiight up to the moral divide that was present from the very beginning. Millar, Bendis, and Ellis all established Maker as having a darker side. Using torture against Doom was on the table, he flat out rejected the possibility that he had made a mistake, he did messed up science experiments for fun. The pieces were all there! Alas the execution sucked. I still stand by what I posted here regarding the Ultimate Doom trilogy:

Bendis' depiction of his "fall" was awful and incoherent. Under Bendis, Reed instantly becomes the type of guy willing to commit cold blooded murder against both his family and other heroes for no real reason. If Reed is pissed about the military controlling everything, why is he trying to kill Peter Parker? Shouldn't he be trying to kill Nick Fury and destroy SHIELD? That at least would make sense, Ultimate Nick Fury is a fucking awful person. Instead he murders his entire family instead of just his asshole dad because... I don't know, he's just evil now. A writer can't write someone smarter than them, and Bendis is just not the guy for tackling the world's smartest heroic mind descending into villainy. Reed's plan is dumb and paper thin.

Coldly murdering his mother and sister Enid - his sister whom he went through all the effort to save from Psycho-Man in one of the final UFF arcs! - reads even more egregiously out of character. Why did he kill those two and not just his asshole dad? No clue, Bendis never bothered to give us an explanation. Trying to kill all of SHIELD after the UFF fall apart makes perfect sense to me after reading Ultimate Power for the first time. 1610 Nick Fury is evil. Fury is a monster whom even Dick Cheney would have to kneel in awe before. Asshole deserves to die and SHIELD should be destroyed. Sending suicide bombers to murder Spider-Man and his other heroic peers on the other hand?

No Bendis, you need to actually explain WTF Maker was thinking there because that makes no sense AND it doesn't line up with his previous characterization! Maker didn't want to kill the zombie F4 despite them 1. Being undead and 2. Planning to infect and eat everyone on his Earth. He wasn't willing to kill Doom even after Ultimatum. Then suddenly off-screen he becomes the kind of guy who murders his sister who only ever looked up to and worshiped him, and his mother who tried to support him and showed him nothing but love? Terrible writing, and it makes me so mad because everything else is brilliant setup unintentional though it was.

Pages like this one floored me. You read this knowing they were not setting up Maker yet somehow it perfectly does just that. The other Baxter Building kids breaking off to form their own perfect society in a secret city tucked away from private eyes? Being sick of how they were forced to serve the military? Commitment to the idea to the point they're willing to kill the F4 and any military personnel sent after them? In-universe this, and other events like Psycho-Man's utopia, likely served as the foundation for where Maker came up with the idea of the City. Everything fits! It's a natural result of Maker having an enormous ego, having seen others make their own attempts at building utopias, tossing morality aside, and going "they failed but I'll succeed. I don't make mistakes like they do."

Begs the question OP asked: why did he make Earth 6160 into the way it is? Fantastic question especially considering that both as a hero, and during his initial fall to villainy, Maker hated the "corruption" of science into a force that only served the elite.

Yet the world of 6160 is exactly what he claimed to hate! America collapsed into a realm ruled by technocrats who abused science to enrich themselves. Freaking Midas is in the White House using cosmic energy as a power source for his war suit and the electric grid. What gives? Is it just Maker being a hypocrite? Maker offers two justifications in Ultimate Invasion. First, that he ran civilization models in the City and humanity cannot accept perfect peace. If you've ever watched the Matrix you know how that argument goes. We aren't built to live in paradise. Our human natures are too fallible, when offered the option we reject it. Given Maker's god complex it does suit him that he invokes the Biblical explanation for why evil exists - human nature demands it.

However, there's a second justification. Maker treats Earth 6160 as his playground, his laboratory. He's the Emperor of the World, and with that comes those who would covet his throne. Keeping the world full of conflicts and evils keeps people divided. They're so busy fighting each other that they can't unite against him. Hitler, Genghis Khan, Bismarck, Stalin, Mao, history is full of dictators who employed similar logic to maintain power. Yes it makes him a hypocrite but Maker is beyond caring about the "small minded" dreams he had back before he jumped off the slippery slope.

Regarding what he wants power for, there are two likely motives to parallel his two justifications. I believe he is trying to create the "Ultimate Earth", an Earth that lives up to what he wanted 1610 to be. Time travelling to the future indicates that he is at the very least invested in this Earth's well-being. He saved it from Galactus, he kept the Council from spiraling out of control as they now threaten to do in his absence. He supported scientific and technological advancements that did improve life for everyone. Howard mentions curing cancer. Maker's Ultimate Earth appears to be a technologically advanced society where the peoples lives are improved at the cost of their freedom. In a single word: Latveria. Fitting for a Reed who has gone the way of Doom.

Unsurprisingly Maker's other motive is much more selfish and narcissistic: he wants to screw with Earth 6160 Reed.

Mentioned this before somewhat in my previous post:

My theory is that it's because Maker is trying to take a Reed who is similar to 616 Reed and transform the guy into a monster like him. It's his middle finger to 616 Reed. Maker wants to prove that 616 Reed isn't better than him, if Mr. Fantastic had lost his family and been put through hell like Maker had, he would break too. That 6160 Reed is, so far, not a monster like Maker pisses Maker off. It's not logical to keep 6160 Reed around, and doing so leads to Maker's fall.

Additionally there's some clear self-hatred going on.

Note the callback to UFF with the "I don't make mistakes" line. People talk about Sue rejecting the marriage offer as being the big divergence point between the 616 and 1610 Reeds. I think it goes back even further. 616 Reed was the one who messed up his friends lives. 1610 Reed however was blameless. 1610 Doom, not Reed, was the one who caused the accident that gave the Four their powers. In Ultimate Power it was Doom's meddling which was revealed to have killed millions of people despite Maker initially being blamed. Maker never had to feel the guilt that Mr. Fantastic has to live with. Always when it seemed like he had screwed up, a reveal came to absolve him of any responsibility. Arguably his two greatest pre-Maker screw-ups were teleporting to the zombie Earth and creating the Cosmic Cube and guess what? Both of those were because of external agents in the forms of zombie Reed and Thanos meddling with his head.

So having done nothing wrong his whole life, never having screwed up with nobody to blame but himself, when Sue dumped him and his whole life fell apart because he put saving the world over his personal desires in Ultimatum? Knowing, thanks to zombie Reed, that there were Reeds out there who got married and had families and kept the Four together despite making mistakes? My headcanon is that's what broke him. Also that's why he made Doom's life hell. 6160 Reed was supposed to live the life 616 Reed got, the kind of life Maker wanted. Instead he lost everything. Why? Because from Maker's point of view, Doom doesn't deserve that kind of happiness. Why should Maker, a Reed who never made mistakes, be the one Reed denied that joy while all the Reeds who are responsible for transforming their friends get to have that?

So Maker took 6160 Reed and gave him the life he thinks Mr. Fantastic should've gotten. 6160 Reed made the mistake of not double checking his notes and lost everything. He ended up with the burnt face and Doom moniker because from Maker's point of view, that is what should have happened to 616 Reed. Maker should be the beloved hero with the fantastic family as befitting a Reed who never made mistakes, not the unworthy Reeds who are fallible. In Maker's mind, 616 Reed should be the one whose Sue rejected him and became a villain. His words in Ultimate Invasion about having thought about what he and 616 Reed would be like if they swapped lives support this.

There's a beautiful symmetry going on here between Maker and Doom. Dooms usually blame Reeds for ruining their lives by sabotaging Doom's experiments. Here is a Doom for whom that belief is valid, and his obsession with Maker completely justified. Except it's himself that he's obsessed with, just as Maker is clearly obsessed with Mr. Fantastic. A grand ouroboros of Reeds chasing after one another. Fitting, for Reeds have always been their own worse enemies.

[imagines--galore]

||Light ‘em Up|| Chapter Four

Summary: She saved Hiro from bullies and then punched Tadashi when she thought he was one too. She calls herself Hiro’s caretaker, and became Tadashi’s best friend. Now she attends the same Institute as Tadashi as a robotics student. She’s Sakura dubbed Cherry Blossom by Fred. She’s Hiro’s partner in crime, when it comes to annoying his brother and Tadashi’s best friend. Pairing: Tadashi Hamada x Sakura Kamiya(OC) Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Adventure Previously -  Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three,

As Sakura led the brothers through the door and into the Swimming Pool area she began to feel nervous. Which was ridiculous considering she had never gotten nervous around them for as long as she knew them. Well beside a few moments with Tadashi, especially the time when -

Now was not the time to be thinking about IT!

She shook her head before coming to stand at the side of the pool. No matter what their ideas, and how mad they seemed, they would always pull through. Together. But this was the first time she had ever done a project by herself. She wasn't as brilliant as Hiro or Tadashi. If anybody had to ask her who she thought was the least smartest out of them she would say herself. Both Hiro and Tadashi were extraordinary at what they did, especially the younger boy, considering he had solved a few of her High School math problem she was struggling at, when he was just starting Middle School. She had stared at the boy for thirty seconds straight after he had done that.

Growing up wasn't easy for the 20 year old. And sometimes she would look back and wish for a few things. Wish that they wouldn't have happened. One big thing in particular. But then she would always think to herself that if it hadn't happened, than she wouldn't be where she was now nor would she be the person she was now. And even with all the problems she had to face, growing up, she was happy where she was and who she was.

"So you going for a swim Sakura?"

The black haired girl turned to look at younger boy, her hands resting at her hips as she shook her head.

"Not exactly Hiro." Pointing towards the bleachers, situated all around the pool, she smiled. "Go sit there. Both of you."

As the two boys took their seats in the very firs rows Sakura took a deep breath before crossing her arms across her chest and smiling nervously.

"So I know I've been rather vague about my project with you guys but its something that had to be done." She looked up to see the two brothers looking at her. Hiro with a slightly confused look on his face while Tadashi smiled at her in an encouraging manner. A small shy smile pulled at her lips as she continued.

"I wanted to do this project by myself because I wanted to make myself believe that I am capable of doing robotics on my own and also I-"

"W-wait! Wait Wait!"

The female was cut off when Hiro stood up from his seat his hands held up. Both adults looked at him

"This isn't because of what he said is it?"

A short laugh of disbelief escaped him.

"Cuz if it is then I'm gonna have to go give him a piece of my mind." The boy growled out, a scowl on his face as he started to walk towards the exit, his strides firm and determined for a 14 year old but was pulled back in a headlock by his older brother.

"Tadashi let go!" He grunted as he tried to pull away from his brother's grasp.

"Don't you think you've caused enough trouble tonight, kiddo?" His older brother said, his face showing no signs of trouble at the struggling boy. Hiro humphed before slumping back in place. Tadashi ruffled his hair, grinning, as Hiro pouted and crossed his arms across his chest. Sakura gave a small laugh as Hiro batted his brother's hand away. Walking over to the younger boy she crouched down to his level and shook her head.

"You don't have to worry about that Hiro!" She reassured him as she pushed some of his hair out of his face. Hiro looked at her still scowling. Sakura shook her head once before getting up and grinning, her eyes shining with excitement.

"Maybe this will cheer you up!"

The young scientist flipped at her left wrist where a small lid clicked open from the rash guard and a small hologram screen came up. Sakura turned to look at the two boys looking at her with different expressions on their faces. Tadashi's clearly read impressed while Hiro was staring at the hologram with his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide. Smothering a giggle she quickly touched the pad of her right thumb lightly against the hologram. The Hologram beeped once before shutting down all by itself and going back inside her wrist. As soon as the lid clicked shut something began to happen to her suit. The lines going along the length of her suit started to glow a light blue. The light pulsated a bit in the beginning but then became steady and the young girl stood there with her suit glowing. Spinning around once, to give the boys a full view of her suit, she smiled.

"Well? What do you think?"

"This is so cool!" Hiro immediately leaped to his feet and began to look at the suit from every angle.

"How did you get the hologram? What kind of lights did you use in the suit exactly? Are they like made from the fluid in those glow in the dark sticks we played with? And is it even possible to sew it into a suit which is skin tight? Obviously its not impossible since you've done it!" Reaching up he took of the girl's head band. "And is your head band made from the same material as well and-

"Woah! Woah! Hiro slow down!" Tadashi laughed as he stood up. Sakura was pursing her lips to keep herself from laughing at the younger boy's excitement. A small laugh escaped her, nevertheless, as she grinned at Hiro, who continued to examine the headband, muttering scientific things under his breath.

"You look like a firefly Sakura!"

The girl turned to glare playfully at the older boy who shrugged lightly. Waving a hand in his direction, the girl flipped her hair at him before speaking, her voice adopting a more haughty tone.

"Oh please Tadashi! What do you know about fashion." Tadashi chuckled lightly under his breath as he took an almost involuntary step forward.

"Enough to know that I would look stupid walking around glowing." Sakura could feel the corner of her lips turning upwards in a smile as she looked at the older Hamada standing a few feet away from her.

"Please! This is the next big fashion breakthrough. Go with the Glow." She proclaimed. He smirked.

"And Wasabi's work bench is a mess."

Grinning the girl stuck her tongue out at him while he playfully rolled his eyes at her, the right corner of his lips tilted into a smile.

She really liked that smile of his.

Light brown eyes blinked.

"What?"

Oh crap!

She hadn't said that out loud had she?!

Violet eyes blinked meeting light brown.

"What?" She frowned, trying to make it as of she hadn't said anything, (had she even said anything? Best to act ignorant than anything.) She looked behind her to see Hiro still examining her head band, oblivious to the two adults. Tadashi was frowning at her when she turned to look at him. Suddenly he just shook his head, a sheepish smile on his face as he took of his hat.

"Nothing! I just thought you said something." He ran his hand through his hair once before placing his hat on top of them again, his smile still on his face.

His smile really was nice. (At least she hadn't said that out loud!)

Shaking her head to get rid of the sudden thought (where had it come from anyway?) she plucked her head band from Hiro, putting it on her head again. Placing her hands on Hiro's shoulders she guided him to stand next to his brother.

"Now, stand there!"

Hiro nodded once as he put his hands in the hoodie of his pockets. Tadashi imitated him by putting his hands in the pocket of his jeans. Rolling her eyes at the one of the many similarities the boys shared she took a couple of steps back. Her posture straight, her arms hanging loosely at her sides she took a deep breath before closing her eyes.

For a while it was silent, beside Sakura's deep breathing. Slowly the blue lines along her suit as well as the little circles began to glow faintly and then more brightly. The two brothers watched her as she slowly started to raise her arm at her side.

"Woah!"

The older girl opened her eyes, her arm raised at shoulder level, to see the two boys looking at the pool. Her eyes snapped there as well.

A huge grin split across her face, eyes shining with excitement as she tried her best not to yell out loud with joy.

Barely a few inches away from her hand was a small pillar of water, rising up from the pool.

She wiggled her fingers a bit and the water copied her movements the topmost part of the pillar moving along with her fingers. A small laugh escaped her as she twirled her finger and the water twirled with her. Her eyes snapped to look at the Hamada brothers who were staring at the pool their mouths slightly open. Suddenly smiling mischievously she flicked her hand in their direction. The water followed her movement as it flew through the air, splashing the brothers in the face, effectively snapping them out of their dazed state.

"Hey!"

Sakura laughed as the both spluttered and coughed. A small smile crept up onto Hiro's face before he voiced his thoughts the same time his brother did.

"How did you do that?!"

As the boys looked at her with identical faces of amazement she shook her head, smiling slightly.

She might as well call home and tell them she was going to be late tonight.

This was gonna be one hell of a interrogation.

Sakura grunted as she and Tadashi wheeled her giant chalkboard into the centre of her lab. As he pushed the giant board Tadashi grumbled.

"Why can't you just request a holographic board like all the other normal robotics students here?" He asked. Sakura heaved a breath as she gave the board a final push positioning it where she wanted to.

"Because, and I have told you this before, I like these boards." She answered as she grabbed a jar filled with different colored chalks and setting it on a small stool standing next to the chalkboard. Hiro hummed under his breath, his arms crossed across his chest, as he walked behind the giant board.

"And you also like to draw aliens that breath fire?" He asked before flipping the board to reveal a crudely drawn alien with fire coming out its mouth. Tadashi raised an eyebrow at the drawing.

"Fred been hanging out here?" He asked as he glanced at his friend, who shrugged as Hiro emerged from underneath the board and looked at the drawing as well.

"He was talking non-stop about some new comic he had gotten. It was starting to get a bit too much and a little bit annoying, considering I was trying to meditate. So I had to keep him busy, hence," She waved at the alien. "The drawing."

"Why were you meditating? Hiro asked as he turned to look at the older girl. The girl shrugged.

"Part of my project. Now go sit both of you!" As she flipped the board to get to the clean side the boys made themselves comfortable. Hiro sat on the toolbox he had been sitting on before, while Tadashi took Sakura's desk chair flipping it and sitting down, resting his arms on the back of the chair.

Sighing once the young scientist twisted a loose strand of hair between her fingers before clearing her throat and beginning.

"Well I found the idea for this project when I was reading this history book, where they were talking about how people could control the elements only through their Will Power." She walked forward as she talked picking up a book from her desk and holding it up to show the boys.

"I did a little digging and I found out that they were able to do that because of their High level of Conscious as well as the magnetic frequency of the Earth. In the book it said that how we think effects the magnetic frequency of the Earth, which then effects the object letting us control it." As she talked the young scientist walked towards the chalkboard, picking up a chalk along the way.

"So then I thought that if the Magnetic Frequency of the Earth are effected because of how we think and act why can't we control them through our brain?" Light tapping filled the silence of the lab as the girl wrote the key words on the board.

"And all I needed to control these Frequencies," Here she underlined the word. "Was one basic thing. And that was a high conscious level." She continued, drawing a circle around the word as she did. Glancing back to see the boys looking at her with expressions of confusion she nodded. "And I'll tell you why in a bit."

"Now to gain that level I started to meditate and doing the whole spiritual Buddha thingy as Gogo called it." She added rolling her eyes and giving a small smile.

"Anyway after two whole years of meditation, yes Hiro it took that long and let me tell you it was not easy at all, I was able to achieve a higher level of conscious than the average human being." A proud smile played across her lips as she dwelled on her little success for a few seconds before continuing.

"I once told you guys about the Third and Fourth Dimension." She said as she wrote the names on the board, not looking back. She turned around to look at the brothers.

"Did you manage to store it somewhere in those big brains of yours?" As both the boys nodded she grinned.

"Glad to see you paid attention in that little lecture of mine."

"Seemed more like entertainment to me." Tadashi muttered under his breath, causing his younger brother to snigger. Sakura's cheeks flushed at the comment.

"One time, Tadashi! One time I was more clumsier than usual!" She said her voice higher than usual as she quickly turned around and starting scribbling key words on the board.

Hiro piped up. "Actually that was the tenth ti-" He was cut off by a growl and a glare from the older girl's direction. The 14-year old gave a nervous laugh as he quickly squeaked out.

"You know what never mind." Sakura, smiled sweetly at him cast before casting one last glare at the older Hamada brother, who was still smirking, then turned back around.

"Now! As I told you both before the Fourth and the Third Dimensions exist together and yet they both have different magnetic frequencies," She pointed at the two words written on the board. "And we live in the third dimension." She made a couple of stick figures under the designated word. "Now humans with low level of consciousness, like you two knuckleheads, live in this place and can only connect with the magnetic frequency of this Dimension." She tapped the word 'Third Dimension' with her chalk.

"Of course I live here too," She continued circling a single stick figure. "But because my conscious level is higher than the average human I can feel and connect with the Magnetic Frequency of the Fourth Dimension."

"Now! The Fourth dimension is a place where the molecules, of everything, solid, liquid and gas are placed so far apart that a person's conscious can interact with them." She made tiny circles on the board placed a couple of inches away from each other.

"How you may ask. Well! The high level of consciousness is made of molecules that are placed further apart as well and because the molecules are of the same kind in the fourth as well as my brain the frequency they emit are the same and I can easily connect them." She turned to look at the completely baffled expressions on the boys faces. Grinning she continued.

"And keep in mind that the Fourth Dimension has a Higher Frequency than the Third Dimension." She made a short note in a corner of the board as she spoke.

Turning back around she clapped her hands in front of her. "Anyway! Long story short! I was able to get the frequency reading of the fourth dimension and program it into my head band. My brain can now, and any brain no matter what level of conscious they posses, with the help of the headband, pick up high level of frequencies, which automatically helps the brain to connect with the Magnetic Frequencies of the Fourth Dimension in the environment around a person. The lines along my suit emits a small amount of Magnetic Frequency that attracts the molecules of the object I want to manipulate like a magnet." A triumphant smile played across her lips as she concluded holding her arms out in a ta-da motion.

"Which then allowed me to move the water!"

The few second silence was broken by Tadashi standing up and applauding his friend. "Outstanding!" He grinned as Sakura shrugged her shoulders sheepishly.

"That was amazing!" Hiro exclaimed as he leapt to his feet, clapping as well. Sakura smiled happily as she sighed with relief. "Although I do have one question."

Hiro and Sakura both turned to look at Tadashi as he frowned in confusion.

"Why this invention though?"

Hiro looked at his brother in surprise, as he continued to look at his friend. Sakura's eyes flashed with sadness but she managed to wave her hand in a nonchalant manner.

"It just popped into my head is all!" She gave a short laugh. Tadashi looked at her an eyebrow raised as Hiro merely shrugged and grinned.

"Hey Sakura! Did I tell you that I'm gonna go for SFIT?" Violet eyes widened in surprise as they snapped to look at the younger boy.

"Oh My God! You didn't!"

Tadasho grinned in triumph as he stood up to stand next to his brother, ruffling his hair.

"Yup! I inspired him into joining us!"

Sakura smiled as she ran forward, pulling on both the boys, bringing Tadashi down to her height and pulling Hiro up slightly as she hugged them both.

"I'm so happy. We're all gonna be working together now!" She muttered as she hugged them both closer.

Tadashi chuckled as he hugged her back while Hiro merely rolled his eyes, but hugged the older girl back nonetheless.

"And for the record Tadashi it was my idea!"

The older boy pulled back. "But I was the one who put it into motion."

The girl gave him a dead-panned look as she stepped away from the brothers. "Who called you in the middle of the night to tell you the idea!" She said as she walked towards the door of the swimming pool, locking it.

Tadashi rolled his eyes as he walked towards the door of the lab with Hiro following after him, obviously enjoying the banter.

"Who lured him here?!" He quipped his hand on the handle.

"Who said that it would work?" Sakura shot back, swinging her bag over her head as she walked across the room, turning off the lights as she passed the switch.

Tadashi rolled his eyes as he held the door open for her. "Unbelievable!" He muttered.

"No you're unbelievable!" Sakura was quick to respond as she stepped out of the lab, turning to lock it.

Hiro sighed, smiling and rolling his eyes at the two college scientists.

"Sometimes I wander who's the adult around here." He laughed.

"Zip it, knucklehead!"

Hiro only laughed at the predictable answer he got from both the adults at the same time, before walking over to his brothers mopped.

As Sakura leaned in to check if she had locked her lab properly, Tadashi, who was standing right next to her, quickly took the time to say in a low voice.

"I'll talk to you later on the project." Sakura looked up surprise written across her face. Her friend smiled at her, his eyes shining with sympathy and understanding. Sakura's face morphed into one of sadness and thankfulness as she simply nodded.

"Thank you Tadashi!" The boy only smiled back at her, his hands in the pocket of his jeans while hers played with the strap of her bag. Slowly she smiled back, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze.

                                            ————————-

How does he always manage to know whats wrong with me?

                                            ————————-

How does she always manage to help me out with a kid like Hiro?

                                            ————————-

Their little moment was broken when a loud voice called out.

"Come on guys! Lets go! You can make goo-goo eyes at each other later!"

That seemed to snap the two adults out of their trance as they both exclaimed.

"Zip it, knucklehead!"

Faint blushes were dusted across their cheeks and Tadashi's ears were turning red at the tips.

Hiro only shrugged as he sat on the mopped. "Well its true!"

He was rewarded by an overly large helmet being slammed onto his head.

"Hey!" He protested as he pushed the helmet out of his eyes only to have it pushed down again, this time by his brother. Tadashi started the mopped, his own helmet in place. Sakura strapped her helmet on, as she sat behind Hiro.

The younger boy grumbled under his breath as he straightened the helmet, sitting between the two cellege students.

"Bullies!"

He was rewarded with an elbow being shoved into his stomach, lightly, by his brother and a knock on the head, by the girl he considered his sister, knocking his helmet askew. Hiro grumbled curse words under his breath as he crossed his arms across his chest, slumping down on his seat, as Tadashi started down the path towards home.

[desperatelyseekingcannibals]

Hannibal? Meeting Mads at RDC6

Following on from meeting Hugh in Boston and gifting him a copy of Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal, I wanted to gift a copy to Mads.

No disrespect to Mads, but I wasn't expecting (and didn't get) the same sort of interaction I had with Hugh. I've met Mads at many cons before, including one in 2018 right before I had top surgery where I had a lovely chat with him about queer and trans Fannibals.

But I've noticed over the years, including from accounts of other Fannibals too, that he's become much more guarded in his conversations. Which is fair, his star has been forever on the rise and he's been working for bigger studios and properties. But as a trans person, I am always very cautious when people become much less vocal about something they previously seemed to support - though I do acknowledge that some people just don't want to get dragged into what they see as a volatile issue. And I knew, given how much more stoic he's become, and the time limitations of signings at cons, that this would be the case regardless of his personal point of view.

Also (and I've mentioned this before in posts about his answers on con panels), Mads has a habit of just saying what he thinks people want to hear, and what will get the biggest reaction - he's a master at fanservice. Which even includes repeating the same stories (Fragile Little Teacup for example). Which again, is not a criticism, but an observation and another reason why I was pretty nervous about meeting him again. And that was BEFORE a couple of different Fannibals approached me with concerns that some of the things he'd said at RDC6 hinted that he might be making a movie that may include a trans character in an unflattering way. (I'm still on the fence about whether that was his meaning, but I'm glad I'm already pretty emotionally divorced from him since he did FB).

ANYWAY! I had talked with the fantastic wholeanddeadly before the event and we agreed on getting his brilliant "F**k transphobia Grindelwald" art print signed in order to auction it for trans charity (in fact we ended up getting two!). As we knew in advance we would be doing this, I wanted to let Mads know, because I don't feel right auctioning something without someone's knowledge if we had already made that plan.

So, this is what happened:

I was maybe third of forth in the queue (which was huge), so this was going to be a whistle stop and I'd thought carefully how to frame it and use my words wisely. So I walked up and he said "Hello, Sir!"

Which, thanks! (always love getting correctly gendered!)

I asked "May I give you a gift", and he said "Yes, of course!"

Whilst I was getting the book out of my back I told him that I met him in 2018 right before I had gender affirming surgery and he was very kind to me. His response was along the lines of "Oh yeah?"

I continued to tell him that since then, I have been involved a lot with of the trans and non-binary Fannibals and we made this book because of what the show means to us. He took it and flicked through and stopped at some of the art and admired it. He asked if it was just about Hannibal, and I said yes because I totally blanked in the moment, so the HEU stuff will be a nice surprise for him, lol.

Then the art print got passed over by his helper and I said I didn't want him to personalise the photo as I wanted to auction it to a charity that supports trans youth if he's OK with that. And he replied "you can do anything you like with it, man." I said thanks, and we were all done.

Whilst on the surface this was all good, I was definitely struck by the difference between this and times I'd met him before (especially in 2018). And perhaps it was just down to him being more guarded, but it felt very... standoffish. Which is fine, it is what it is.

The funniest thing is that Mads often signs the characters name on the things he signs, and the one we already had signed the day before via a friend, he didn't put the character name on it. On the one he signed for me, he did: Hannibal.

I saw him hesitate part way through signing the name but it just made me chuckle at the potential that this character meant so little to him he didn't recall his name and then the next day confused him for another character - Trans Rights Wizard Hannibal!

Anyway. I hope he reads the book. I hope he gets something out of it. I hope he's not making a transphobic movie.

And I hope you'll all check out @transhanniday on here (and on Twitter), where the two signed prints and some other bits will be going up for auction soon! The proceeds will be going to UK trans youth charity Mermaids, the same charity that Deadly supported with his original art prints.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Hi! You're brilliant. Literature major here and someone who's loved Swift a lot growing up. I absolutely loathe who she is as a person now that the blinders have been off for a year and also the utter embarrassment that is TTPD. I'm seeing Swifties say "actually Taylor IS allowed to use female rage because she's had AI porn of her, been sexually harassed multiple times and won the court case for it, belittled for her art and is never taken seriously despite being stolen from" and despite the very obvious argument that "the TTPD setlist has 0 songs alluding to any of this to supposedly be about her female rage", I would LOVE to hear your take on this argument. My perspective is that despite these being very real experiences *building* to female rage Taylor has been through, she has never once spoken about them seriously outside of how they have impacted her as an individual. In this very album she's the epitome of a pick-me with her "you said other girls were boring" and "i can fix him" lines in her songs about the rat. This is opposed to the deep rooted community backing that comes with representing female rage as a topic (again, Paris Paloma's Labor is so good at representing that). Anyway I just have been subject to too many Swifties claiming Taylor has every right to co-opt Female Rage and it's making *me* rage. I don't have plans to battle anyone about it cuz the critical thinkers are coming to these conclusions themselves but I would love to hear your very well articulated thoughts on this supposed "argument" Swifties have about her being allowed to use the term. The fact that she's been through sexual harassment in the past and continues to despite being the biggest artist in the world.

Hello! First, I am so happy to hear you are a fellow Literature major <3 <3 Wonderful! And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy your study while finding it all as beautiful and important as I do!!!!! Sorry, it took me so long to write back- I was busy thinking it all through. I understand your frustration though, believe me. I feel it too.

Okay, let’s talk about your question. It’s an intense question- but I do think that just shying away from the conceptual point within the Swifties argument would be to give a shield against criticism- and I truly believe that nothing is above criticism. Criticism keeps us grounded in reality- but more than that it keeps us humble in self-reflexivity.  

The argument is as follows: Taylor Swift is allowed to claim the term “Female Rage” because she has experienced harassment based on sex classification- correct? The swifies then levy four pieces of evidence for her experience of sex-based harassment, 1- she has had AI porn made of her, and 2- that she was in a sexual harassment lawsuit, 3- her art is often belittled, 4- her masters were never owned by her. 

Okay, now that I’ve laid out Swifties argument- I am about to go full Analytic Philosophy major on it. <3.  

The first piece of evidence is about the AI porn scandal. I want to express that the current mess of AI porn being made of women is despicable- there are sick, sick men out there who seem to think themselves entitled to viewing any womans naked body- real or fake. I am firmly against the creation of AI porn- and truly feel empathy for Swift having experienced it. I am sure that it was a negative experience. However, how exactly is this evidence in favor of her using the term “Female Rage” to describe her work when in fact none of her work addresses the AI Porn issue? Her work never even describes or addresses any of the issues implicit to the patriarchally permissive culture that allows for men to feel entitled to create AI porn in the first place. If this is to be a direct defense of her calling her actual body of work “female Rage” then I am going to need to see evidence of her being mad about the AI porn in her work.  

She literally never even condemns the patriarchy in her music. Not even one of her songs is about how the patriarchy, in connection with the digital age, allows for men entitlement to bleed over in the creation of AI porn. It is a systemic issue too- more than just Swift experiences AI porn being made of them without consent- so it could be the subject of song to express “Female Rage” at this being a systemic issue- yet Swift did not do this. Thus, it is not an accurate defense for calling her work “Female Rage” 

It is much the same case for the second piece of evidence. The closest we get is her singing “Clean” in Denver a year after her trial concluded, and during the time leading up to “Lover” in which a “dollar” was an Easter Egg. She famously wanted only a dollar for winning her trial. That easter egg, however, never had anything to do with the trial. In any case, there is still nothing in her work to suggest “female Rage” about being sexually assaulted. As far as I can tell- and I’ve listened to every song she’s ever written multiple times- there are only a few songs that can be loosely interpreted as dealing with anxiety and sadness. If we want to give benefit of doubt here- anxiety could tie into her experiences; I find this loose tie, however, uncompelling, because most of her music about anxiety- directly ties into some proto-capitalistic fear she is expressing.  

Again, I’m sure that she did experience something negative during her trial- and did feel passionate about its verdict; however, there is nothing in her music about this instance- nothing. There’s no Paris Paloma style call-to-arms against the Patriarchy for enabling men to commit sexual assaults.  

Before I move on- about the first two pieces of evidence- Swift is not obligated to write music about it- but if she is going to claim her work is “Female Rage” based on her experiences with either of the two things above- then I would expect to see reflection of these experiences in her work.  

Onto evidence three and four. The claim is that her art is belittled based on sex-discrimination thus qualifying it as female rage. The connecting claim is that she was never given the opportunity to own her masters.  

Her art is often regarded as simple pop-music made for adolescents- because that is what it is. I failed to see how this is belittling. It’s saying that the music does what Swift wants it to do- which is entertain children, teenagers, and those among us who want “family-friendly” pop-music. What’s the problem? I like simple pop music. I listen to a lot of pop music, because it’s fun and easy and simple. It does what it sets out to do- how am I belittling her by saying she writes basic pop music- not poetry.  

People often only draw issue with her music when she tries to claim it is more than simple pop music. I draw an issue here- because it doesn’t live up to the standards of real, robust artistic music. It just doesn’t- again it’s not really belittling anything. This is the difference between belittling- and giving legitimate criticism. None of these complaints against Swift’s musical ability, lack thereof, or lacking creativity as a groundbreaking talent is at all related to discrimination based on sex or on her identity as a woman. It literally has nothing to do with her being a woman- she's just not a serious writer. She’s clearly not even a classically trained musician.  

The fourth piece of evidence is again predicated on industry standard injustice. She did not own her master's- and was not offered the chance to own her master's. I, however, don’t really believe she was never offered to buy her own catalogue- I think she just gave a low-ball offer and got rejected. Personally, I feel like the amount of capitalistic rage that was unleashed after that- and the spiteful nature of her re-record issue- is because she was angry about getting her offer rejected. We all know, by this point, Swift can’t stand being told no. In any case, her not owning the masters of her catalogue is industry standard.  

It could be likely that perhaps the two men buying and selling her music were rather sexist- I do recall the “I own Taylor Swift” Scooter incident. While that is clearly a sexist remark, I do think that Swift’s response to this incident is less directly correlated to feminist effort and more in line with her own personal feelings of dejection- and feeling capitalistic rage. If anyone want further detail on that- it's all in my previous post on Swift’s rage in my discussion on “Mad Woman” (2020).  

The closest we get to a feminist-forward remark is her saying “Master of spin has a couple side flings” in which she is essentially outing Scooter as a cheater. That can only loosely be described as female rage- if you squint and look at it sideways. Otherwise, it’s just her trying to denotate a bomb in his life- it's very “eye for an eye” revenge that really doesn’t correlate to feminism or female rage. Because “revenge” is not the point of “Female Rage” or Feminism- The Point is JUSTICE and Showcasing WOMEN as Equals To MEN! AHHHH! It’s not like the guy was even cheating on her- she literally just wanted to ruin his life. (Not that I have sympathy for him. I’m just saying this situation was a personal vendetta for Swift- not some grand feminist declaration). But again, the interior motivations of her rage at Scooter- and the rage of women for centuries culminating into Female Rage as a movement- are drastically different motivating factors. In this instance she is lashing out with personal rage in which she is only advocating for her own point of view and personal hurts - not the community-driven concept of female rage. 

I do also find it strange that only on point three and four, the two points directly connected to her power and money, are the only two things we can directly trace into her music and her work. She literally only gets angry about threats to her money and power-  

Thus, I support my conclusion from my other post on Swift’s so-called female rage, that she is expressing corporate rage, or capitalistic rage. It is a different thing altogether, because, as I said in my other post:  

Female Rage is grounded in experiences of oppression and injustice- yet marked too by its ability to clearly advocate for women’s rights in systemic, patriarchal issues. Female Rage necessitates extending empathy to other women- who have suffered the patriarchy too. It’s a call to community and a call-to-arms against intersectional forms of patriarchal abuse.  

Never, in any of her four points of evidence, does she legitimately utilize her music to critique the patriarchy- which is an implicit necessity for art relaying themes of female rage.  

If she ever did actually broach the subject in her music in a way that gives legitimate criticism to the patriarchal standards she claims to hate- then I will change my mind.

Where exactly has Taylor Swift ever really advocated for anything? She gives us the world's most lazy, throw away lines about “Girl Power” and “Being a Boss” and even a few “you can want who you want/ girls and girls and boys and boys” (“Welcome to New York” 2014) - yet never does it culminate into any remark upon injustice in society. She never once modulates into a reflection into the mores of society in which some demographics are considered lesser- it's all just bleak pop-music wherein she appeals only to the most populist- surface level aspects of social issues. Notice too- that she only ever mentions social issues when it becomes most likely to have good reception from the public. She only became a feminist- after it became popular on social media.  

Where was she when I was a young lesbian feminist fighting for my life in the early 2000’s? Oh yeah, she was writing homophobic versions of her debut singles- and adding lines like “My Daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be” (“Picture to Burn” 2006) as an appeal to the patriarchy - I forgot. LOL. Where was she when feminism couldn’t be commodified- made fluffily and easy to “copy and paste” into her shitty pop-songs? Nowhere. 

It’s not about feminism, or female rage, for her- or standing up for anything at all in the face of the larger social system. For her, it’s about commodification and economic power.  

She's literally not a feminist. She’s not a LGBT activist- She's a goddamned opportunist and that has made her incredibly rich.  

Anyway, about TTPD, specifically, I need a whole separate post to talk about the overt anti-feminist, pro-patriarchy messaging of that album. Can’t do it here- I've rambled long enough. And I have a boat load of textual evidence to incorporate into my discussion on Swift so-called “feminist music” that I want to discuss in depth soon. I also have a Feminist-Marxist analysis lined up- that one I did just for fun 😊 

Ps- If you like any aspect of this argument or think that it might be true feel free to use it if anyone brings up the argument with you again. Sharing is caring. 

If you disagree and wish to burn me in effigy- Well, catch me if you can. <3 hahaha 

[alexjcrowley]

So, I watched Casino Royale (2006), in my quest to rewatch all of the Daniel Craig's James Bond movies and answer the question: "Do I really hate James Bond movies? Or was I just a kid when some of them came out and I didn't care for spy movies?"

I'll start by saying that I liked Casino Royale much, much more than I had expected. It's 2 hours and a half long, which today is the standard running time for any blockbuster, but lately I had managed to convince myself that, during my childhood, blockbusters were shorter and didn't kidnap an audience in a movie theatre for almost 3 hours. I was wrong.

(Now, SPOILERS ahead)

Starting with what I liked.

First thing first: James Bond. I was never fond of Bond's character, I have always thought him boring instead of serious, slimy instead of charming, and generally very annoying with the whole "I'm the man" demeneanor. I was also wrong. I really liked Daniel Craig in this first movie. We see Bond at the very start of his career, he has just been promoted 00 status and he has a lot to learn. He takes almost as many punches as he gives, he is too instinctive and his ego often gets his own way. He is far from perfect and many people give him shit for that, especially women. Casino Royale holds his main character accountable for most of the bullshit he does and that was a welcome surprise.

The plot. I am proud to say I think I understood the entire plot of the movie. I know it might not seem much a of a brag and I swear I can usually understand the plot of a movie- but James Bond's ones are often too convoluted for me. I feel like Casino Royale, partly thanks to chunk of explaination given by M, was fairly easy to follow. There were also many predictable twists- not necesserily a bad thing though, because they did make sense. I really liked how Mads Mikkelsen- brilliant as always in the role of the main villain Le Chiffre- was being hunted both by Bond and by far more dangerous people he owed money to. I think the movie lost itself a little bit in a the last part, but I'll discuss that later.

Vesper Lynd. I have no idea what the press conferences around Casino Royale were like, but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them focused on a better treatment of female characters in the Bond's franchise. I was expecting to be bored to death by the umpeteenth only apparently hard-to-get woman falling for Bond's charms, and I am happy to say it was nothing like that. First of all, and I mean it as a compliment, the Bond and Vesper banter is ao3-tier. The chemistry is there, there's equal teasing on both sides, which makes it looks they just work very well as a couple. But the scene I liked the most is right after James Bond loses a really important game of poker. He goes out on the balcony, Vesper follows him and James asks her to give him more money, because he thinks he can win the next game. Vesper says no. James insists, in what you could call the classical "all or nothing" scene of a movie. The one in which the protagonist is like "you have to believe in me, I can do this, look into my eyes, trust me one more time and I'll prove it to you", sprinkled with a little more "If you don't do this, all that money" that he lost "will be in the villain's hands" and grasping Vesper's arm very tightly. And Vesper's response is not "Okay, I will give you the money to save the world, but don't let me regret this, James". The first thing Vesper tells him is get his hand off of her. The second is that she is not going to give him more money, because he lost that game due to his ego (a motif that had already been introduced at the beginning of the movie) and if he keeps playing now, he is going to keep losing. And then she leaves. This, and the dialogue in which she basically asks if she has to worry about Bond's breaking into her room and trying to force himself on her with Bond reassuring her he won't, were moments I really appreciated. The James Bond saga is not exactly well known to be fair to female characters and, especially, James Bond's love interests are often poorly written. They could have gone the easy route, they could have had Vesper trusting James blindly because he is the main character, but, instead, she stood up to him. I really, really like this decision. As James Bond has been cemented as an icon of masculinity, it is shown that not only even he can be wrong, but also that this is rightly pointed out by a woman. In this occasion, he's being emotional and illogical, while she is being the reasonable one. And I feel this is as relevant today as it was in 2006.

Favourite scene: the torture. I am not really crazy about torture scenes usually, but I really loved the one between James Bond and Le Chiffre. It's not just that the acting- especially on Daniel Craig's part- is phenomenal, it's what that scene means. According to my interpretation, based purely on how Craig played the character, that seems to be the first time James Bond has ever been tortured and you can see he's fucking terrified. And you see him going from terrified back to that mask of neutrality, even though it is now dented. There are moments in which pain slowly morphs into an exasperated laughter and James is turning to crude humour to deal with the situation because he has already made his decision- he won't give up the code, so he's gonna die there, if he is lucky. If he's not, many hours, if not days, of torture await him. It's a momumental test of an actor for Craig.

So, yeah, lots to love. Let's now move to what I didn't like.

The action. Not all the action in Casino Royale is bad, on the contrary, but a couple of things were simply goofy. Like the first bomber being a parkour God, especially compared to James Bond's clusmy ass? Top-tier comedy, maybe intentionally, maybe not. I know for a fact the dramatic zooms were not intentionally comedic, but alas. And I gotta ask, other than being the easiest way to kill off Vesper, what was the point of that last Venice action sequence? To me, that was really overdrawn and forgetful.

The wife of the first villain. Her dialogue about liking bad guys is very cringe and I don't know who directed Daniel Craig in the scene in which reacts to her death, but holy shit that's one of the worst sequence of the movie. At first he seems indifferent to her being tortured and killed, then M goes on her whole tirade about Le Chiffre, and then, suddenly, when she asks if James Bond can handle the mission, Daniel Craig is looking at dead body of the villain's wife doing the most exaggrated heavy breathing since the stuff you could find of Looney Tunes. And then says "no" in a completely neutral, and accidentally comedic, tone. Jesus Christ. What a shit show.

James Bond's character arc, a.k.a. the romcom act. Yeah, I know, I said I liked James Bond before. But I have beef with the way the character evolved. I would say I pretty much like what we see in 2/3 of the movie. The problem for me arrives post torture, when we are made believe we have finally reached a happy ending. Vesper and Bond declare their love to each other, great, it was to be expected. But the fact that a few days after that- at least it looks like a few days- James Bond is like "Yeah, no, I'm in love with you, I wanna quit my job and spend the rest of my life with you" feels very rushed to me. Sure, near death experiences really bond people together, but let's recap the events of this movie. At the beginning of the movie, James Bond has just become 007. If I am not wrong, Casino Royale is James Bond's first mission as a 00 agent. We don't know how much time he has spent hunting down the parkour-bomber of the beginning of the movie, but we know that something like 2 days later he is sent to the Bahamas, then goes to Miami, all in the span of 2 days, and then he gets sent to Montenegro for something like 3 or 4 days. At the end of the Montenegro section, there's the torture scene, so all we know is that he ends up in a hospital and stays there for an unspecified while (which he spends mostly unconscious) and it's at that point, after declaring his love to Vesper, that he goes "Yeah I don't want to be a spy anymore". Bitch, you have been a spy for less than a month and you have known this woman for 2 weeks at best, and I am counting the time you were unconscious. Am I the only one who feels this is rushed? Especially because, during a game of deduction he and Vesper played, Vesper seemed to rightly deduce James wanted to be a spy because he had a chip on his shoulder about proving is worth- did that just go away? Wow, James, you gotta teach me how to solve self-worth related issues that fast. And the canonical reason why James wants to leave the job is because it's "eating his soul away" or some shit like that, and he wants to leave with that little bit of soul he still got. Once again, bitch, please. You have not been on the job for one month, what the fuck are you talking about. Maybe it's because you're not used to have a job, Mr Bond, but every single job eats your soul away and you live with that, because otherwise you won't be able to pay the bills. Just to be clear, I'm not mad at the idea that James Bond wants to leave his job. I think it feels rushed and I think it's a little bit too obvious something will happen to Vesper at this point because there's no way James Bond is quitting the job in his first movie, but I would have accepted this change of heart from Bond if I had been given a good reason for it. For example, the fact that he has been tortured. To me, it would have made much more sense if James Bond would have been like "You know what? Being tortured is fucking terrifying, much more than I thought during my spy training, I don't think I can handle that again", I would have believed that. But instead, we got some bullshit on the soul. James Bond screenwriters, being afraid of torture doesn't make you any less of a man, I swear. All in all, James Bond deciding to change his entire life goals just because he fell in love seems the kind of shit writing the female lead would get in a shitty romance movie, not the one of the main (male) character of a spy movie. Maybe it's poetic justice, but I think James Bond somehow found himself a victim of what is usually regarded as misogynistic writing. He then regresses to the emotional maturity of a teenage boy who spends too much time on reddit when he feels betrayed by Vesper, while M has to explain as you would to a 5-year-old that Vesper, if anything, tried to save Bond. A very undignified main character arc, if you ask me.

Vesper's death. Why did Vesper basically kill herself? I genuinely thought her death was a Jack and Rose situation- they both could fit on the door! I think James would have been able to save Vesper if she only didn't lock herself in the elevator. The only explaination that I can give myself to that decision is that Vesper didn't want to live with the guilt of condemning her past lover to death in saving James.

I am not good at giving grades to movies, instead I will say this: it's definitely worth a watch if you're into spy movies and the bisexual panic induced by Eva Green and Daniel Craig will not leave you for a good while. If you're willing to be forgiving of a few sequences, it's a very enjoyable action flick.

Onto the last part: my quest to prove James Bond is aro and/or ace.

Why do I want to prove that? I guess if there were more aromantic characters I could just turn to them for representation, but I have to do everything by myself around here.

My reasons to believe James Bond is aro: as someone who, for the moment, identifies as aroallo, I really sympathise with characters that indulge in a lot of sex, but keep romance at an arm's lenght. I don't think they're shallow, I think maybe romance is simply not their thing, just like it's not mine.

My reasons to believe James Bond is ace: I think James Bond may have a pretty fucked up relationship with sex because of his job. His entire body basically belongs to the governemnt: it's a weapon to kill, a disposable dummy to be tortured and, in some occasions, an object of desire, used to seduce, possess and be possessed. You could pretty much say that a fraction of his job is similar to that of a sex worker. Far from implying that being a sex worker automatically fucks up your relationship with sex, I think being forced to have sex with people who you sometimes despise and who might want to hurt you or even kill you is not, like, the best thing ever. And also, while a sex worker can theoretically pick their clients, James can't. He has to seduce who is useful to seduce for the mission, regardless of how he feels about them. And, to top it all off, I like the idea of James Bond being ace because I am tired of the whole "James Bond is so cool because he fucks a lot and which man wouldn't want to fuck a lot". Maybe James Bond doesn't want to fuck a lot, or maybe he doesn't derive as much pleasure from it as people believe he does.

Okay, so. Starting with aro spectrum, even though James falls for Vesper, I think we still have good chances of him being aro, either fully aro or something like greyromantic. After all, aromantics can still, even if rarely, fall in love and I think, for the way the character of James Bond has been presented, him falling for Vesper was quite an unexpected/out of character thing for him. Him deciding ti quit his entire past life to be with Vesper...is truly just bad writing for me, but even accepting it, I don't think it makes him any less aro, because as I explained he could have had much better reasons to want to quite his job and, personally, if I fell in love with somebody after years of that just not happening for me, I wouldn't know how I would react. Maybe I would also call it a miracle and just roll with it.

About the ace spectrum, we see him seducing a villain's wife at some point, but I will be honest. That shit don't count. There is this moment in which the woman is like "I always fall for bad men😏" and James Bond immediately gets out of the sexy mood and goes "So would you say your husband is a bad man? Why? Because of his job?". He does a 180 and goes from wet dream to interrogator in less than a second. Plus, he seems to leave her without having sex with her to go chase her villain husband. Very professional of him, but also makes me think he was never that much into her as he made her believe. The whole thing felt too calculated on his part, I would definitely say he was faking the whole time. James does have very enthusiatic sex with Vesper, though. If I want to stick to what the movie implies, without going off the tracks with something like "he pretended to be enthusiatic during the whole thing but he was faking for Vesper's happiness", I may still go with the fact that he is for sure sex positive and maybe demi-sexual.

Well, if you have read until this point, I am genuinely surprised. You don't have that much to do, I guess, good for you.

Onto Quantum of Solace next, and I am already shaking: I know that movie is bad. I know about the writers strike. God help me.

[galvanizedfriend]

what are your top ten favorite klaroline fics?

Hello, nonnie! I see your asks have made the rounds. Really nice to see lots of rec lists circulating!

I had to give this a thought. It's very hard to come up with just 10. I could easily do a part II. 😂 But without further ado, and in no particular order, 10 of my favorite KC fics:

. The Parisian Deal by Borzoi

I honestly vary between The Parisian Deal and Paradise Lost as my favorite Borzoi fics. It depends. I think I'm in my Parisian Deal era, though. I've recced this a few times over the last few months, whenever someone's asked me for my favorites or humanity-less Caroline fics. For me, this is the best one that comes to mind. Borzoi's fics are all brilliant. I love their writing style to bits. It reads like a novel, it draws in and it grips you by the throat until the very end. This one features Klaus being called to the rescue by a desperate Salvatore clan when Caroline turns off her humanity and fucks off to Europe. Unlike her friends, Klaus doesn't threaten her, doesn't try to force her to feel; instead, he offers her a deal. And it's perfect. I love this story with my whole heart, I can't even tell you.

. In the Backseat by Lila2

After leaving Hayley as a wolf in the Bayou and earning the hatred of his entire family, Klaus shows up with baby Hope on Caroline's doorstop. He has no idea what to do with a baby, is too proud to apologize and is in desperate search of some validation, which invariably leads her back to her (just like in 5x11). Caroline is torn between being mad at him for having a baby with freaking Hayley, and also the fact that she loves kids and there's a part of her that resents him precisely because he gets to have them, when she never will. In her own way, Caroline puts him in his place and convinces him to make amends and go home, take Hope back to her mother - but only if she comes with him on the road trip. And boy, is it worth it. 🥰 It's a fic that has the baby as a catalyst for everything, at the center of everyone's woes in different ways, but it's not about the baby, in case you're a baby fic hater. And the writing is just chef's kiss.

. the birth and death of the day by @little-miss-sunny-daisy

For a good while there, this fic was my entire fandom personality. Whenever anyone gave me a second of their time, I'd preach about the birth and death of the day. I was obsessed. Kelly is a brilliant writer, so, so, so talented. I am not kidding when I saw I wish I could write like her. And the greatest proof of that is how this fic was everything to me, in spite of not being at all my cup of tea on the tin. I don't like Supernatural, I never watched more than two episodes, and the Klaroline bit here kind of takes on a secondary role to the end of the of the world. But it's such an intense and brilliant character study on Caroline that it had my whole heart from the start. Her relationship with her BROTHERS Dean and Sam is so heartfelt, and it exposes so much of who Caroline really is as a character. The plot is INSANE and AMAZING and HUGE and it's so incredible how it ties in so seamlessly with the Mystic Falls shenanigans. And then there is Klaus! When I saw secondary, I don't mean irrelevant. I just mean there's more to the story than just their relationship. But it is still brilliantly developed. Honestly, just writing about it brings me back memories. I love it so much.

. Quiet Light by @definedareasofuncertainty

I am biased when it comes to Luiza's fics because I'm a fangirl and I have been one since day one, before we even became friends. But in the years (years 🥲 we have been here so long, friend) we have known each other, her writing has only gotten better and better. It's atmospheric and understated and it has this mindfulness about it that I can't really explain. It really feels like being in the characters' stream of thinking, you get instantly pulled into it. It evokes emotions without it ever having to be minutely described, and I think that's such an incredible talent. I wish I could write like this! And Quite Light not only brings all of those things forward, but it also brings COMPLEXITIES and MORAL QUARRELLS and it was also WRITTEN FOR ME. 😌✨ Luiza thought she was getting revenge on me by torturing Elijah, but LITTLE DID SHE KNOW I actually loved it. I went into this thinking it would be just a rom-com style story (which I love), but it's so much more. By the end I was crying real tears. 🥲 It becomes such a beautiful story about the relationship between Klaus and Elijah. Honestly brilliant.

. light years by @definedareasofuncertainty

Honestly, this fic has a very specific target audience, and that target audience is ME. I'm not even exaggerating; this is one my favorite pieces of fic ever written in the KC fandom. The way a Klarolijah fic speaks to me can be so personal. 🥺 I love the Klarolijah dynamic. I really do. But it takes a very specific balance for me to feel it. It can very easily go from me loving it, to me wanting to throttle someone. And this! THIS!! This is absolutely it. 🥲 And it's just about my favorite thing ever. This is actually three mini drabbles combined into one. Each of them is written through a different POV - Klaus', Elijah's and Caroline's. And the combination of all three, the way they tell the same story through different eyes, is just !!!!!!!!! Honestly, I don't have words. This has ✨Yokan my beloved✨ written all over it and I feel it very much. Luiza has a ridiculous talent for writing things on the spot. She got prompted to write an Elijah piece, and then a Caroline piece, and then a Klaus one, and she wrote them all in like 30 minutes on one of her mini drabbles challenge, and OH MY FUCKING GOD. I hate her for how good she is. 😭 (I don't, I love her, but I also v much envy her talent).

. this is a harvest by @highgaarden

I spent a solid few minutes here thinking about which of Hannah's fics I wanted to list, because she has this huge catalogue and I've basically read all of them and have gushed over almost every single one over the years. But even though there are others that could easily be in my top 10, I always end of going back to This is a Harvest. I remember when I first read it, I closed the tab at the end and was just… Done. Not in a 'I can't stand this story/ship/fandom anymore', but in a 'this is the fic to end all fics' kind of way. And it's not so much about the style or the writing, which are both stunning, but the way the story is told. It's a canon divergence that spans over years and I felt it in my heart that this was where the story could've gone. The choices they could've made. The way Caroline's story could and should have ended. And I was satisfied. I started writing and reading KC fanfiction after TO was over because I was so indignant about the way the show ended, so unhappy that I needed to give it my own spin, and read other folks doing the same, and when I read this story I felt like I had achieved that. This is it, I can put this to rest.

Obviously, I was way too deep by then that I couldn't really abandon the fandom (even though, just between us here, I kind of wish I could), but for a whole week or two, I was at peace. This fic gave me peace. That's it.

. Into the Woods by @jinxedwood

"But Yokan, how would you like to see Klaus' part in Legacies play out?" Like this. Exactly like this. This story accepts the finale we were dealt in The Originals, and then makes something absolutely amazing with it. I love the premise, I love the mythology involved, I love how unique this take is, and I love how even though it's poignant and bittersweet, it still packs up everything about Kc that made me love this ship so much. Caroline has been in Europe for years trying to find a way to help her daughters with their Gemini situation, and then she ends up stumbling across something else entirely. While she thought the thing she most wanted to see on a brief stint on the Other Side would be Gemini witches, her heart betrays her by taking her to who she really misses the most.

. it takes a while to settle down by theviolonist

This story is so old school it was written before Steroline. It's about Tyler. But we all know who Caroline ends up marrying, so in my heart, this is really what happens before Caroline marries Stefan. And honestly, it works just as well. This story is a punch to your stomach, but it is PERFECTION in 8k words. It's hot, it's bittersweet, it's SO in character. Caroline's denial, telling herself that Klaus is there to see her because he still ones revenge on Tyler, when it becomes very obvious, very fast, as it always does on the show, that it's never about Tyler, it's all about her. UGH. Honestly, brilliant. (third fic on this list with a The National reference on the title, I SENSE A PATTERN).

. As One Wishes to Live by @lalainajanes

I had never in my life read a genie!AU, and simply could not wrap my mind around anything of the sort that wouldn't be extreme crack!fic. Imagine my surprise upon reading this story. It's bittersweet in the best possible way. At the same time it's endearing and adorable (and so very IC) to watch Caroline fumbling for a fair and non-insane way to handle Klaus, the genie Katherine accidentally gifted her with (and who just happens to look incredibly alluring), it's so very poignant to read Klaus' POV. He's Klaus in the way that he's suspicious and dismissive and kind of snobbish, really, but he's resigned to his fate. This is a Klaus who has been broken by years of enslavement as this prop who's there exclusively to serve others. Every time he mentions one of his past masters, you just get that stab - and so does Caroline. Laine is one of the most prolific and talented KC writers ever, and I have read and enjoyed so, so many of her fics, but this definitely has a special place in my heart.

. Psychedelic Kicks by @notalittlebutalottie

This is an ensemble story that has Klaroline at heart, but that gives every other character a moment to shine. And shine they do! Everyone gets their own side stories, and absolutely loved following every single one of them. Lottie made me care for characters I hate in canon, like Katherine and Kol. Even Stefan and Elena had my heart here. This fic is a journey, full of ups and downs, and it has such a satisfying end. It's also incredibly original in its setting and tone, which I think it's one of Lottie's greatest talents. It's very are for historical fics to be set in the 60s, and not only did Lottie choose this very particular time, but she also did such a remarkable job incorporating the decades' aspects into the story. Not just the fashion, and the music, and Woodstocky vibes, but the social and political unrest as well. This is a story with LAYERS, my friends, and it's incredible. I could totally see this being a TV show or a movie tbh. It's that good.