#no hate at all on my boy fredo but like...what the fuck are you even doing at this point

[thesmokinpossum]

So I am once again rereading the Godfather and I already knew that Fredo is a horny little gremlin (affectionate) but I hadn't realized that he managed to catch 4 STIs and impregnate 15 women in about 3 years, dude really got to Vegas and immediately decided to become the textbook definition of community dick

[melis-writes]

hi, melis! 💓 idk if you’ve already answered this but can you rate the godfather characters from your favourite to least favourite? i’m curious!!

Hello!! 🤗💕 Ooooooooh my gawd, okay. OKAY. In order from my favourite to least favourite, it would be:

Michael Corleone. But is anyone surprised? 🤭❤️‍🔥 Believe me, his looks aren't the major reason why either (but the sexiness helps smh). 😅 The most cunning, crude, intelligent and interesting character with a hell of a development... He really does have my heart.

2. Kay Adams Corleone. The one and only of course!! 💕 I especially say this towards her character in the book rather than the film. She's much more fleshed out, interesting, supportive and by Michael's side. She makes for such a unique character!!

3. Santino Corleone. That's right, him. 😅❤️ Sonny honestly keeps things very interesting thanks to his infamous temper. He was a hell of an enforcer; Luca Brasi who?? Tbh I was and still am extremely distraught by his death scene. 💔💔

4. Vito Corleone. Don Corleone himself!! What's honestly not to love? His kindness, how wise he is, how he's taken care of his family. This man came from nothing but gained everything. ❤️❤️❤️

5. Fredo Corleone. I honestly think Fredo's an absolute sweetheart and I love his sense of humour, even though wasn't a whole lot shown. He has a good nature and I think he was really misunderstood. 🥺💕

6. Tom Hagen. Love, love, love my boy Tom. 😂❤️ He's the moral compass of the family!! Or.. at least he was until I found out he had a mistress. Still, there's just something from Tom and his wholesomeness and advice that makes you never want to lose faith in him.

7. Connie Corleone. Truly a misunderstood and underrated character. 🥺❤️ I have nothing but love for Connie and I wish we had seen even more of her. She deserved better and I honestly loved her disaster MILF era lmfao. 💀

8. Sandra Corleone + Mama Corleone + Deanna Dunn. I'm grouping both of these ladies together because they're sadly very minimal side characters but from everything I've seen of them, they're still so dear in my heart which is also why I include them in my fics!! 😌❤️

9. Peter Clemenza. Clemenza is actually wholesome and not a traitor unlike Tessio who isn't even worth a damn mention here. 💀 Supported the Corleone's till the very end and didn't undermine Michael ever either.

10. Carlo Rizzi. Eugh... Bleugh.. We've gotten to the least favourite characters section now without a doubt. I hate Carlo. I don't like him at all whatsoever. He's an abusive, disgusting piece of shit and I really wish Sonny would have killed him or that we'd at least get more scenes of Sonny beating the shit out of him. 😮‍💨

11. Hyman Roth. While he did keep things interesting and was cunning on his own in the second film, I don't like him. 💀 He's not likeable. Tf did Michael ever do to him?? 😅

12. Apollonia Vitelli. Yep, she's the last on my list. 😂😂😂 She's by far my very least favourite character. She's hardly a character. Very shallowly fleshed out, boring, uninteractive, and taking advantage of what Michael has to offer. She never loved that man, she loved his car for sure and the freedoms he gave her. Also, she's super fucking annoying and whiny. 💀

[cartoonsithinkr4adults]

Harvey Street Kids/Girls Forever! as vines

AUDREY EXPLAINS LOTTA WHAT LOVE REALLY IS

Dot: My marriage is fine, thank you.

Audrey: Dot, it's our HQ, so whatever you say it is how it is. But i think a blind man could see that Pinkeye's looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even i noticed.

Lotta: Come on, Audrey, don't talk about relationships like that.

Audrey: Listen, Lotta. I hate to break it to you but, what people call "love", it's just a chemical reactionnthat compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Lotta, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Lotta. Rise above, focus on yourself.

(Source: RICK AND MORTY)

STU FINALLY LOSES HIS VIRGINITY

Stu: Hahaha, YEAH! I'll have you know that my self-centered ass just scored woth the hottest, sexiest woman, in the whole world. (Of course it's Melvin's sister, Maria)

Pinkeye: I don't believe it.

(cut to Melvin, Zoe and Maria)

Maria: And, he only wanted to talk about me, he didn't waste my time talking about him. OH YEAH, and we had the wildest sex you could imagine! It wasn't until it was all over when i finally asked for something for myself!

Melvin: What the fuck was that?

(Cut back to Stu, Pinkeye and Audrey)

Stu: $200, i'm assuming it was for cab fair, and i'm assuming the cab had to take her to a different state, i'm assuming...mexico. ¿Why do you ask?

Audrey: Stu, i think that woman was, uh... ¿How should i put this?

Pinkeye: That bitch was a HOE!

(Cut again to Melvin, Zoe and Maria)

Maria: Don't you dare talk about Lord Stuart from Harvard Avenue like that! Besides, if he paid me with money, why was Fredo behind that sex tape? And if Fredo was behind that sex tape, why didn't Stu wear a condom?

Melvin: WTF?!

Stu and Maria (at the same time): RIGHT?

(Source: BRICKLEBERRY)

FREDO TRIES TO DIRECT A MOVIE

Maria: I'm having a real problem understanding my character.

Fredo: She wants to have sex.

Maria: What's her motivation?

Fredo: To have sex.

Stu: Well, did my character have a happy childhood?

Fredo: Just take off your clothes and F**K her in her F**KING C**T!

Stu: What? I couldn't hear you during all the beeps.

Melvin: Sorry, i was ordering some sushi in my phone.

(Source: BRICKLEBERRY)

JUANITA AND SUPERTODD MEET AND JOIN THE BLOOGEY BOYS

Pinkeye: Wow you guys, what a great Mulisha meeting, right? Just look at all these two new members.

Juanita: Yeah yeah yeah, shut your mouths up and eat the Mulishian Mac and Cheese.

Melvin: Who the fuck invited this chick? We are definitely anti-feminine!

Fredo: It's alright, she's mexican.

SuperTodd: This is awesome, guys. Our membership is at an all time high.

Juanita: And isn't having a multicultural Mulisha so much nicer?

Melvin: I'd say so, i would, uh, say so...but don't we need to make some sort of statement?

Fredo: Yes we do.

(later...)

Juanita: Okay guys, great news, the enemy has apologized, put down your guns, the assasination is a no go!

Melvin: Oh hell no, she can't get away with her wrongdoings! It's time to bust a nut in her tits, and by tits, i mean head.

Fredo: WE CAN DO BOTH, YOU KNOW!!!!

(Source: BRICKLEBERRY)

[soulwillower]

living with bill, richie, and stan

i’m not saying i got inspired while watching new girl but that’s exactly what i’m saying in fact this is almost all directly from new girl

first off, this apartment is a serious fucking nightmare

obviously bc college/early 20′s stan, y/n, bill, and richie.... you guys are crazy 

it’s terrifying

you had to beg stan to live with you guys bc you were afraid you were going to die if left with just richie and bill 

he agreed bc you guys gave him the biggest room

OK so 

richie sings in the shower. 

loudly

stan hates it, especially bc you guys have one of those bathrooms that has a stall and urinals with a curtained off shower

so stan will be organizing his body care stuff 

naturally,,

and richie will be screeching rich girl by hall and oats or some shit

stan’ll get so annoyed he’ll start chucking things into the shower

you prob have to break up an argument between them like once a week, and its idiotic bc stan will be flustered and throwing stuff at richie, who’s all sudsy and can’t see at all w/o his glasses

lmao

bill thinks its so hilarious

so stan’s an early riser

you wake up to breakfast waiting for you almost every morning

richie drinks so much coffee but stan drinks even more than him, bill will only have it if you make it because he likes the way you do the ‘frothy milk’

you’d have family dinners all the time and bring the other losers over to eat with you

eddie, mike, bev, and ben basically live with you guys

 bc you have a loft

it’s a pretty big apartment

stan and bill start a garden on the roof of the building!!!!

i feel like bill gets intense about cooking

you’d think he’d be bad at it 

but that boy goes crazy in the kitchen, and tbh it scares the rest of you

speaking of bill 

bill does innocent and sweet things all the time

like he picks up rubber bands on the sidewalk for you

not the kind for hair, but like literal rubber bands 

omfg ahahaha

“f-for your ponytail”

it’s so sweet but you can’t use those obvs. 

so you’d just throw them out when he’s not looking

oh my god my boy 

you most certainly all have a douchebag jar 

most of the money is from richie, some from bill

richie complains that half of his rent should be taken off every month bc of how much of his income goes into that jar

but you guys always take the money from the jar every few months and have a ‘fancy’ dinner 

IMAGINE THE DRINKING GAMES agh

true american?? yeah

beer pong because bill and you are the perfect team

ride the bus? hell yeah dude!

so many parties, holy shit the four of you throw fuckin bangers

but on your more tame days 

bill is a writer so he’s home a lot

richie works as a bartender and you guys get free drinks

stan goes into the office and you have to teach him how to tie a tie on his first day

omg for the holidays, you guys have friendsgiving

 bill, eddie and mike spend all day in the kitchen 

most of u don’t want to go home for the holidays, so you all stay at the apartment and celebrate all your holidays together, bev ben eddie and mike staying in the living room or in your rooms with you

stan makes you guys matzo ball soup and holy shit that’s why it’s your favorite time of the year 

ugh !!!!! :D

you have some intense board game competitions 

you, ben and stan have wine nights

 you try to do it when bill and richie are gone because they always fuck around

teasing each other about your weird hookups

dude richie will seize any opportunity to pretend he’s your guys’ disgraced lover

like, if stan or bill or you have a person over that you’re trying to get to leave

richie will be all dramatic and hell, maybe he’ll throw in tears and yelling and it’s impressive

 it works every time 

oh my god richie fredo-kissing all of you (like from the godfather yk?)

like stan tells him about his new job or whatever and richie jumps across the table, kissing stan aggressively

and stan screams, he’s so annoyed

“YOU GOTTA STOP FREDO KISSING ME TRASHMOUTH”

you guys have stupid artwork, posters, and photos of the losers when you guys were younger all over the place

richie’s pretty big on pranks, naturally

but stan... oh man

stan either goes way too small or way too big. 

he almost killed bill once when he put peanuts in his salad

knowing that bill’s allergic

but another time he put a capped pen onto one of your pants

... that’s it, that was the prank

he lost his mind laughing and u guys were like... what

u have very little privacy but you love it that way

ok hear me out!!!

 u guys all actually bird watch together 

on your balcony

stan secretly loves it when you guys pile out there early in the morning, with sleepy smiles and coffee in your hands, smothered in blankets

bill sketches the birds you see

richie narrates stupid voices for them

but he does it quietly so only you hear it 

and you think it’s so funny

stan loves it so so much

movie nights where you all fall asleep on your couch piled together

just having a really fun and wild and wholesome living situation

[amphii-writes]

Haikyuu boys as songs on my spotify playlists P. 5, (Other characters + girls)

Warning, songs contain talk about: violence, sex and drugs.

Yuji Terushima: Pussy Talk by City Girls (feat. Doja Cat)

You know damn well that Terushima-san is a fuckboy, not saying that's immediately horrible i'm just stating facts. He might look like he gets bitches but he's for sure a virgin. He likes any song that gives  him confidence, so when he hears pussy talk he goes all out, i mean this grown ass man dances.

Suguru Daisho: Molly by Mindless Self Indulgence

Was this one self indulgent? Yeah. Daisho-san gives me punk vibes and like,,, awooga. He for sure likes songs that get him pumped up before games and Molly is exactly the song to do that. Even with his breakup from Mika he seems to be insanely persistent and probably is one of those guys who unironically says “I still see her shadows in my room.” which pains me a bit to think about.

Kiyoomi Sakusa: Devil Town by Cavetown

Sakusa-san gives me a “divorced parents” vibe, and as someone who has divorced parents I will defend this on a hill and die for it. The song itself isn’t overwhelming, so I think he likes it because it's almost a calm pain to him. And, with my head cannon that he has divorced parents, it fits even better.

Shinsuke Kita: Saturn Suv by Fredo Disco

Sweet farmer boy needs sweet sonG- wow I haven’t expressed my love for Kita-san ever on this website and that thought physically pains me tbh. He’s so sweet, so that's why I picked this bittersweet bop for him. It’s chill and almost controlling like he is, but not a bad controlling, more of a “guys-please-my-mom-is-home” controlling. 10/10 would recommend this song.

Aran Ojiro: Washing Machine Heart by Mitsuki

You might be wondering why I picked such a song for Mr. Man himself, but hear me out: He likes sad songs. Just like I've mentioned with many other soft boys before, he enjoys listening to sad songs even when he's not sad which I respect because,,, same here dude.

ON that note, I chose the washing machine heart because of how adult it sounded. Not in the sexual sense, but just in the “grown-up heartbreak” sense.

Atsumu Miya: Asshole by Hooligan Chase

This physically pained me to find on my playlist and so I deleted it immediately after finding it. ‘Tsumu-san gives me massive cishet man energy and that isn’t exactly good to think about. He reminds me of a frat boy named Jake who’s favorite thing is to fuck the holes in the wall that he punched. Doesn’t mean I hate Atsumu-san though! Actually, I find him and his brother very relatable and enjoy how they fight because me and my siblings did that kinda thing.

Osamu Miya: Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

Anyways, ‘Samu-san here gives me the energy that he binges true crime shows often with the team, ‘Tsumu probably calls Osamu a serial killer and gross and well,,, everything else you can fill in. The song itself is bitter and sarcastic, just like he can be and personally I find it super catchy (well, I enjoy all of Penelope's songs) and sad. The image of Osamu-san listening to true crime podcasts while getting stoned in his later years brings tears of joy to my face.

Rintaro Suna: As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese

A sad song for a boy who for sure has at least some sort of mental illness (I say that as someone who has mental illnesses). I believe that Suna-san has depression due to how burnt out he constantly is. As someone who again loves sad songs, I feel like he would just constantly have one on in his headphones. Give this man some therapy and a break.

Korai Hoshiumi: Verbatim by Mother Mother

Lil man really whipped out the energy when we first met him- he low-key scared me because I saw him and thought that he’d be quiet and sweet but oh boy was I wrong. I was also a little stuck on a song for him so I had to consult the Hoshiumi kinnies and they came up with Verbatim, which is on my playlist. Thank you, Hoshiumi kinnies, thank you. If you are a Hoshiumi kinnie, you are iconic and i appreciate you!

Takanobu Aone: Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Wow anyways this song makes my aone kinnie go brr. Like completely brr. Aone-san gives me a soft indie, hot cup of tea, sweaters, knitting, and baking vibes. You may see him as a scary giant but I see him as a very big polar bear who needs a hug! He probably relates to the song because of how everyone views him as the Iron Wall and not a person, just the longing to feel loved and appreciated by someone is the main reason he’d relate so much. I would also bake brownies with Aone-san any day.

Kenji Futakuchi: Hayloft by Mother Mother

Our edgy king here for sure is a bastard. He’s cocky, funny, and sly with his rude comments causing me to think of an intense song for him. Hayloft is also an absolute banger of a song, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he had it be Date Tech’s theme song for the time being. I think that he’d also go to mother mother concerts and just be so confused, like if he went to an american mother mother concert he’d be looking at everyone there and just “woah” you also can’t tell me he wouldn’t want an alt S.O.

Kanji Koganegawa: Pretty Rave Girl by S3RL

Wow, me and Koganegawa-san here seem to have the exact same taste in music! When I hear pretty rave girls I go ape. I mean I shake my hands in front of my face because of the happy simulation! It’s such a cute song and the crunch is sooo perfect. I can see Koganegawa being into hyperpop and hardcore music like sewerslvt and SugarCrash! Like tendou-san and lev-san. He for sure sings the song when he gets up in the morning and blasts it in his car! The cute wholesome love song makes his heart go brr, and mine does too!

Ittetsu Takaeda: Breezeblocks by Alt-J

Man would listen to this and go full English teacher like the nerd he is, but then again I don't blame him because I honestly do too! This song was an old hyper-fixation of mine and so when I think of Takaeda, I think of Breezeblocks. All the literary devices and how the song itself is formed to create the perfect horrifying story of murder and cleaning up the crime scene all while talking about their lover is bone-chilling and I think Takaeda-san understands how messed up the song is but just really enjoys the cover that the love aspect almost is. Like when I first listened to Breezeblocks I thought it was a song about a lover leaving the singer, not the singer killing someone(possibly his lover) and covering it up all while thinking about his S.O. dark but great song, 10/10 childhood would be ruined again.

Keishin Ukai: Scotty Doesn’t Know by Lustra

Ah yes, Ukai here is punk and we all know it; and as someone who sees Ukai and gets many mixed feelings, I say we talk about highschool ukai. He mentioned that he didn’t get good grades when he was younger. Keishin-san reminds me of someone who got high instead of doing schoolwork, which like same but bro c’mon you gotta balance the zoot. Keishin-san also reminds me of a crust punk in the sense of how he acts: he’s super cool and if you're wrong he isn’t afraid to tell you you're wrong. He also gives me the vibes that he’d call out TERF’s on the streets and save girls from being harassed/assaulted. An absolute king if I say so myself.

Saeko Tanaka: Girls In Bikinis by Poppy

Ah yes, a bicon in her full beauty! Saeko for sure would be one hell of a partier and she for sure has had some drunken kisses with cute girls. And, we have to remember she is a tanaka, ryunosuke is literally her brother. Of course, simp runs in their veins, and god, what I would do for her to just give me a thumbs up or any positive affirmation. Oh and she for sure kicks TERF’s in the shins with Ukai-san. Someone get her a monster and a crown because she’s the queen :)

Akiteru Tsukishima: Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown

As Akiteru-san here has struggled with self esteem before and not wanting to let people down, I saw BWBB and instantly understood why it stands out to me so much when I think about him. The song itself is about giving into harmful stereotypes because that's how the world and people see you. Boys are often seen as people who aren’t allowed to have feelings due to toxic masculinity and I think that the reason he lied to his brother could’ve been influenced by that.

Kiyoko Shimizu: Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Sweet hibiscus tea is one hell of a song for people who don’t feel like enough, and that's exactly how Kiyoko-san feels. I can see her for sure feeling like an outsider to her own life. So many people look up to her and she doesn’t know why, her low self-esteem is something that I've come to understand after watching Haikyuu. Give her some tanaka and she’ll be fine.

Hitoka Yachi: Oblivion by Grimes

Our favorite ball of anxiety for sure is scared about walking home, she has a great reason to be anyways! What’s scarier than being kidnapped? Nothing tbh, shits horrifying (I say as someone who was indeed almost kidnapped). Yachi always thinks that the worst will happen and prepares for it, but then again I can’t blame her.

[spaceskam]

What a fabulous list! How about #4 for Boy Meets World (loooooooved this show as a kid!)

BMW 4. Character A has a rule of only dating people for two weeks before breaking up with them until they find a bag and decide they are in love with the owner.

"You are… so good at that.”

“You’re not bad either.”

Alex pushed off the couch and quickly started getting dressed. Michael stayed laid out on the couch and it had Alex so thankful he hadn't brought him to his place. As hot as he was, time was up.

"Where are you going? Stay," Michael said, flashing that charming smile and making grabby hands. Alex looked away and buttoned up his jeans.

"Look, you're cool," Alex said, "Super hot 'n all, but I don't know if we're a good match."

Michael shifted on the couch. "You barely know me, Alex. We've only been fucking around for two weeks. Why don't we go on like an actual date? You know, have a conversation before we dive into each other's pants."

"Kinda late on that front, don't you think?" Alex asked, sparing him one last glance as he pulled his shirt over his head. Michael did not look amused.

"So that's it?" he asked. Alex licked his lips and pushed away the thoughts of how he was good in bed and could make him laugh and could cook annoyingly well. Alex Manes did not do relationships and he wasn't about to start just because someone was good at what they did. 

"Sorry."

-

"Oh, god damn it, Alex! I liked that one!"

"Then you date him."

Alex smiled at Maria's middle finger that was unceremoniously shoved in his face. Liz just giggled on the other side of him.

"You know how Alex is. He thinks he's too cool for romance," she said. He scoffed.

"I don't think I'm too cool for romance. I think I'm young and hot and college is the time for exploring your sexuality. And I want to explore all avenues before I settle."

"Okay, exploring is one thing. Banging everything that is down to fuck is something else entirely," Maria teased as they found an empty booth in the back of the student union. They all slipped in only to find a backpack tucked in the corner. 

"I'm just expressing myself and I always have safe sex, so leave me alone. Whose bag is this?" Alex rambled, gesturing towards it with his head as he reached to dig his veggie burger out of the bag Liz had placed on the table since it was her day to buy lunch.

"Don't change the subject," Maria pressed, "Michael was good for you. Nice, smart, and he likes you even when you're a dick."

Alex rolled his eyes and cracked a smile. "Look, he's just not worth settling down for."

"How do you know? I know him better than you do and you were the one sleeping with him," Liz chimed in.

"Oh, not you too!" Alex groaned, still smiling, "Nah, but for real, did you see someone get up from this table?" 

The girls sighed, "No."

Alex took a bite of his burger before pulling the bag onto his lap and unzipping it. 

"What are you doing?" Liz asked.

"Seeing if there's a name anywhere."

"Dude, don't go through it, just bring it to lost and found."

"And walk all the way to campus police? Who do I look like?" he asked. They both rolled their eyes but didn't prod any further so it felt like they were going to let him continue.

He pulled out a thick, labeled binder and tried to flip through it. All the notes were meticulous and impressive to the point he raised his eyebrows, but there wasn't a name. It was just pages upon pages of math and other smart shit. There was even a tab for a coding class which was wild because he thought he knew everyone who was going into coding. Since that provided no answers, he dropped it back in the bag and dug some more.

He found a pack of bandaids, a tiny notebook full of doodles, a broken up protein bar that happened to be Alex's favorite, and a pair of bulky headphones that were attached to an iPod Touch. 

"Oh, Alex, c'mon, let's just bring it to lost and found," Maria sighed the second she spotted his giddy smile.

"It's for research!"

"It’s probably illegal!”

“Shush,” Alex said, swatting them away as he unlocked the iPod that didn’t have a password, “Who even has an iPod touch anymore?”

“Someone whose things you shouldn’t be going through,” Liz said, giving a sweet smile when he glared at her.

Annoyingly enough, the owner didn’t have any pictures of themselves or even any friends on it. The background picture and the lock screen were both just a Jedi sitting on the Iron Throne that was so dorky that it was almost endearing. When he began going through the gallery, Alex was faced with really old memes mixed in with fucking math memes. It wasn’t until he got to one that was mocking a syntax error, though, that he found himself grinning to the point he had to smack his hand over his mouth.

“Oh no,” Alex breathed, his eyes widening. Liz pressed into his side to peer over his shoulder.

“What? What is it?” she wondered.

“His memes,” Alex whispered, heart thudding in his chest, “They’re funny.”

“Oh no.”

“I think I’m in love.”

Maria, ever the pessimist, rolled her eyes. “You can’t be in love with someone you don’t know.”

“Look, Maria, you don’t get it,” he insisted, “Whoever owns this bag not only has good taste in protein bars, fantastic notes, and is a coding whiz, but he has funny memes. We’re basically meant to be.”

“How do you know it’s a guy?” Liz asked, “Could be a girl.”

“Why are you trying to break my heart? I just fell in love and you’re already trying to take him from me,” Alex accused. Both girls laughed and shook their heads at him. It came perfectly in time to Alex opening his iTunes app to see a flood of late-90s/early-2000s pop-punk that caused him to gasp. “Guys, he has Sum 41, Sublime, Blink, Green Day, The Offspring, Paramore, shall I go on?”

“Yes.”

“No,” Maria corrected, giving a shocked laugh towards Liz.

“Oh my God, he listens to fredo disco, I’m sold, I’m genuinely in love. You said I wouldn’t settle down, well, this person has gotten me to settle,” Alex sighed wistfully. Liz and Maria seemed to both think he was simply being dramatic, but he was serious. If anyone was worth his time and effort, it was the owner of this bag. Who else would he find that was this perfect? “I’m serious!”

“That’s completely superficial. They could be a horrible person,” Maria said. Alex groaned, going back to the home page of the iPod looking at the apps. He had sudoku. Further inspection showed that his high score on expert was 8 minutes. What a fucking dreamboat.

“Well, we’ll see. We’ll find out who this belongs to and we’ll see who’s right and you can apologize at my wedding,” Alex decided. 

“Okay, fine,” Maria laughed, “We’ll see.”

-

Before Alex very reluctantly turned the bag into lost and found, he put a piece of paper in it that requested the owner to call him.

Parting with the bag was painful at best, but he didn’t know how else he could figure out the owner unless he turned it in. Besides, if he randomly did run into the owner while still in possession of it, it would be very difficult to explain that he didn’t steal their bag.

That night, Alex dreamed of who the owner could possibly be. He liked to think that he was hot and smart and good in bed. If Michael Guerin sometimes replaced his fantasy then no one needed to know. It was simply who was fresh on his mind. The fact was that in two days tops, Alex would get a call and he would find the love of his life. Simple as that.

Except the call never came.

“It’s been three days! He had to have seen it by now,” Alex grumbled, pouting helplessly as he walked between Liz and Maria.

“I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” Maria said, squeezing him in a side-hug even though she was smiling.

“Which is so unfair,” Alex groaned, dragging his feet even more.

“Maybe he’s in one of your coding classes and has your number already and is scared to call you,” Liz offered. Alex furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why would they be scared to call me?”

“Maybe they’re straight. Or a girl. Or not looking for a relationship,” Maria chimed in. Alex pouted.

“I can’t believe I’m already gonna die alone.”

“Such a drama queen.”

As pathetic as he felt, Alex made his way to class and decided to check out every person there. He had taken a picture on his phone of the bag which turned out to be genius since he could easily compare it to everyone in there. Sadly (or maybe not since none of them were his type), the owner wasn’t there.

His last, ridiculous decision was to wait outside the classroom until the next class to see if anyone in that class had the bag. He sat there like a creep, staring a little too intently at each bag that passed. He couldn’t figure out just why he was so fucking desperate. Well, yes he could. There was something about that stupid bag that just felt like it was meant to be. He wanted that damn happy ever after.

How was he supposed to know that he already knew the owner?

Alex felt his stomach drop to the floor as he saw the bag on the back of a very familiar curly head. He ducked behind a stack of books before Michael noticed him waiting and let himself panic for a couple of seconds. Of course. Of fucking course. 

“Code red,” Alex hissed into his phone after calling Maria and Liz in a group call, “Code motherfucking red.”

“What?” Liz asked excitedly.

“I found the owner of the bag,” Alex said, pausing for dramatic effect, “It’s Michael.”

“Ha!” Maria said, “I knew it!”

“You did not!”

“Well, I knew he was good for you. Apparently, you think he’s good for you too, you just were too busy trying not to get to know him that you didn’t notice,” Maria pointed out. Alex let out an annoyed whine, stomping his foot on the ground.

“Well, what do I do now? He probably hates me for being a massive dick.”

“Hate to say I told you so, but…” 

“Could you at least wait until I’m not in the worst situation of my life?”

“Is it really the worst?”

The voice that said that addition was much deeper than both Liz and Maria’s voices and caused Alex to jump, dropping his phone and fumbling to catch it. It was a very, very embarrassing thing that was only made more embarrassing whenever he turned to see Michael standing there.

“Call you, huh?” he asked. Alex slowly lifted the phone back to his ear.

“I’ll call you back,” he said, quickly ending the call as he looked to Michael. He’d never felt so uncomfortable before. But then again he’d never really liked someone before. He’d spent days accidentally fantasizing about Michael while trying to fantasize about backpack guy and two weeks before that sleeping with Michael who had made him laugh like no one else even though he really tried to not get to know him. And now he really, really wanted to get to know him.

“So…” Michael trailed off, pushing up onto his toes.

“You didn’t tell me you were dorky on top of being hot,” Alex said instead of anything clever. Michael snorted.

“Dude, I tried. I tried to get to know you. I liked you a lot and wanted to date you. You pushed me away. And suddenly you find my bag and, instead of giving it to me, you write your number down, stick it to my iPod, and give my bag to lost and found. You might just be the king of mixed signals,” Michael said. It took a lot of Alex not to scream. He was a dumbass.

“I didn’t know it was your bag.”

“You saw it multiple times, Alex. Did you really not pay any attention to me at all?” Michael asked. Alex sighed and pressed the heel of his hand between his eyes.

“You know that MTV show from back in the day called Room Raiders where they would go through people’s rooms and decide who they wanted to date based on that instead of, like, looks or personality. Like, you get an inside view of who they are by the way they keep their space, you know?” Alex explained. Michael didn’t answer, so he continued. “Basically, I got that with your bag. I was being a dick to you because I thought that was easiest, but when I went through your stuff, I‒”

“You went through my stuff?”

“I realized I really want to get to know you,” Alex said a little bit louder. Michael glared at him.

“You’re a real dick.”

“I know.”

“And mean.”

“Yeah.”

“And you totally don’t deserve to go out with me or even talk to me again.”

“Fair.”

“But,” Michael sighed, “I guess I could take you paying for a meal as payment for you going through my shit.”

Alex snapped his head up. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” Michaels said, smiling, “Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.” Alex tried not to be too obvious about how giddy that made him.

“Yeah, maybe. So… Tonight, maybe?” Alex said, trying to sound smooth like he did the first time he asked Michael out. Michael just snorted and turned to walk into class.

“Call me.”

No matter how mocking his voice was, Alex still felt like he won the goddamn lottery.

[biebervibez]

Second choice

Request: Y/N and Hailey were best friends until Y/N realized that Hailey was only using Y/N to get closer to Justin. Will Justin and Y/N’s friendship be affected when she tells him this?

Warning: a little long

***** “Justin, don’t you get it? She used me just to get close to you!” You yell in frustration.

Justin doesn’t look up as he was too preoccupied tuning his guitar. “I really don’t have the time for your excuses, if you can’t handle Hailey and I being in a relationship then-”

“Then what?” You say interrupting him before he can continue. You knew where this was going but you were too guliable to think otherwise so you decided to test him.

Justin puts his guitar aside as he takes a deep breath before looking at you. “Then we can’t be friends…”

Can’t be friends? You thought to yourself. This was just getting ridiculous, you didn’t know wether to be upset or just to laugh about it. The sentence kept repeating in your head causing your eyes to water.

“Are you fucking serious?!” You say upset, but you tried your best to contain your emotions. “You chose her over your own best friend?!” You say raising your voice. You were hurt but you weren’t going to let him know but it was helpless, your emotions were getting the best of you.

Justin shakes his head and takes a step towards you. “You’re the one who made it come to this…if you weren’t so selfish-”

“Woah, woah, woah….selfish? I’m the one being selfish?” You ask surprised as you take a step back. You chuckle before continuing. “Was I not the one who considered your feelings before my own? I could have just left this whole thing and not tell you, thinking maybe you would realize on your own that she was just going to use you like she used me but I didn’t…I wanted to tell you because I didn’t want to see you hurt. Hailey was my best friend but if it meant losing you…I just couldn’t be her friend anymore even if it tore me but I mean, maybe I am just a selfish idiot.” You say as tears rolled down your face. Justin looks at you, and your swore you saw guilt but he quickly looks away.

“Can you please leave…” he says quietly, and you felt your heart shatter once more. After all you guys been through, he ended it just like that. You were the second choice…. yet you put him first.

Your friendship with Hailey meant the world to you but your friendship with Justin was a whole other level. He was the one you grew up with, the one you told your most darkest deepest secrets, the one you can stay up till 4 am talking about the most random at stuff, and through all that you fell for him.

“No need to tell me, I was just going to”. You say harshly before storming out the door.

You continued to walk without stopping until you reached your car. Suddenly you just bursted into tears, you held onto your car door as you yell in frustration.

You felt so many feelings at the same time and it made you sick. You slowly got into your car, and sat there quietly, and emotionless. After a few minutes, you finally calmed down. You took a deep breath before driving away. **** *at your house*

“He’s such a jerk!” You yell angrily as you throw a pillow across the living room. You were now circled by your and Justin’s closest friends, Tyga, Fredo, Kendall, Kylie, Za, Khalil, etc.

“Shhh, forget about him” Kendall says as she gently pats your back.

“Who do they think they are? T-that bitch…how could she just humiliate me like that and act so clueless about it!” You say, as you angrily bit into your chocolate bar that Za gave you.

You suddenly hear chuckling, you look up to see the guys trying their hardest not to laugh. “You think this is funny?” You ask glaring at them, they quickly stop laughing as they shake their heads no. “That’s what I thought” you say before finishing your last piece of chocolate.

“You don’t need them, you’re better off without them.” Kylie says, you watch as everyone agrees. “Yeah, you have us” Ryan says, and everyone agrees once more.

“You don’t understand…” you say quietly, but it was loud enough for them to hear.

“Understand what?” Khalil asks, and suddenly the room got quiet. You felt your cheeks heat up as all the attention was now on you.

“Guys, I think us girls can take it from here,” Kylie says, as they all stand up before leading me upstairs. “Wooooow,” we hear the guys say in union causing us to giggle. ***** **in the bedroom**

“Why are we up here?” You ask confused before taking a seat on your bed.

Kylie takes a seat next to you as Kendall closes the door. “Y/N…there’s something else that’s bugging you, it’s not just the whole Hailey-Justin thing.” Kylie says gently.

You felt tears peak through the corner of your eyes as your breaths were becoming short. Suddenly Kendall and Kylie wrap their arms around you, trying their best to comfort you. That’s the moment, you couldn’t hold it in.

**back with the boys**

Justin’s POV:

After the argument Y/N and I had, I knew what I did to her was wrong. She was only concerned about me. I even confronted Hailey about the whole thing to find out the Y/N was telling the truth. I felt like an idiot, I was so harsh to her and now she probably hates me.

I decided to go to her house and apologize even if I knew I was probably the last person she wanted to talk to. As I made it to her house, I noticed there were other cars parked in the driveway. I observed closely and realized those were my friends cars.

Shit…well I’m probably in trouble. Even though they were my best friends aswell, they will still kick my ass for hurting Y/N.

I reached the doorstep and doorbelled. Tyga opens the door, his reaction changes from similing to frowning. “What are you doing here?” He asks bitterly. “Come on Man…I’m here to apologize.” I say desperately, after a few seconds have gone by he finally lets me in.

I walked in and I was welcomed by a bunch of glares from the guys. I swear if Y/N did me wrong they probably wouldn’t even care. I repeated what I said to Tyga to them. They looked at me uncertain before signalling she was upstairs. I looked at them smiling before thanking them. “I swear Justin if I hear her cry, you’re out of here”. Khalil says, I glared at him. “Uh I mean love you bro…” he says quickly causing the other guys including myself to laugh.

I quickly thanked them again before running upstairs. Just as I was about to open her door, I overheard her saying things. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but I bet she would remain silent if I walked in.

***** **back with the girls**

You heard the doorbell, but the three of you didn’t mind it. After a few minutes you finally had the courage to tell them what was wrong.

“I’m tired of being the second choice, the one who gets chosen if the other one is taken. I’m tired of the fact that I fall in love with so many guys that are close to me to end up being broken-hearted at the end. It fucking hurts to let people get so close to you, so close that they can just rip your heart out any time without mercy. Every time I’m the one who gets hurt…it’s either because I’m not good enough, I’m not perfect, I’m not beautiful-”

“Shhh that’s enough…” Kendall says as she pulls you in for a hug. Kylie quickly wipes away a tear as she hated seeing you like that. She grabs your hands gently, “Y/N you are not a second choice, and you will never be. Take it from the two of us you have always been first. You are such and amazing, beautiful, kind, most down to earth person and you don’t need a man to tell you that. They may have been a lot of heartbreaks in the past but that’s what makes you stronger, and if you feel weak…Kendall and I also even the guys will be right behind you pushing you to get back on your feet.” She says causing you to tear more, you squeeze her hand gently to let her know you appreciated all those words. “We love you Y/N, we’re like sisters…don’t ever forget that.” Kendall says. “Aww I freaking love you guys…” you say as you pull them in for a hug causing all three of you to giggle.

Suddenly you hear someone knock on the door. “Go away!” Kendall yells causing you to giggle. “Uh it’s Justin,” and the three of you look at eachother surprised. You nod at the girls letting them know it was okay. Kendall and Kylie hug you once more before opening the door. You watch as Justin has his hands in his pockets, “can I please talk to Y/N?” He quietly says.

“If you hurt her, you’re going to wish you never came here…” Kendall says, causing you to chuckle. The girls run downstairs, leaving the two of you alone.

“Seems like I’ve been getting death threats all day…” Justin says trying to lighten the mood, but you remained silent as you looked away.

“I’m sorry” he says breaking the silence. You look up to see that his expression was pure guiltness. “I’m sorry for what I said and for not believing you. It was wrong for me to push you away like that when you were only concerned. I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” He says sincerely.

“Y/N I know that’s not what you’re mainly upset about…uh before you get mad…I overheard you, Kylie and Kendall talking”, you suddenly whack him with a pillow, “you fucking eavesdropper!” You yell interrupting him.

“No, no, no! Y/N listen to me carefully, yes I eavesdropped-ow!” Justin yells as you hit him once again with a pillow. “Hit me once again and I’ll tickle you so hard.” He says sternly, you slowly put the pillow down, glaring at him for knowing you were ticklish.

“As I was saying, Y/N why do you feel that way? It pains me to see that you think of yourself like that. In fact you’re the opposite of the things you said. Y/N you know you’re always first to me, whether it’s for anything. I know sometimes I don’t show it especially today but I swear Y/N I would take a bullet for you. That’s how much you mean to me…from day one, you’re the one who has always been there for me, through my happiest moments to my bullshit ones. Everything I’ve experienced was with you and I’m so honoured that they were spent with with you…I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Justin says, you quickly wipe away your tear. “What are you trying to say?” You ask confused.

Justin hesitates before taking a step closer to you, he kneels infront of your bed before taking your hands. “I’m in love with you…”

You look at him shocked, before shaking your head. You get up slowly before looking at him sadly. “What? Now that Hailey is out of the picture, you’re going to crawl back to me? I don’t want to be a second choice!” You yell angrily. Justin walks to you before grabbing your hands once again. “Y/N you’re not a second choice, I’ve had feelings for you since you walked into my life but I held it in thinking it wasn’t going to work out. Why do you think you’re the one I always want to hang out with? Or how I get so overprotective when you have a date. Why do you think I call you in the middle of the night, it’s because I miss you and I want to hear your voice. Why do you think I can’t spend a day without you by my side? I love you that’s why, when you walked out that door it was one of the worst feelings ever, and I never want it to happen-”

You gently grabbed his face, as you press your lips onto his. You felt Justin smile through the kiss, as he places his arms around your waist pulling you in closer. You wrap your arms around his neck, as he deepens the kiss. You both pull away to catch your breath. He looks at you, “you will always be my first choice…don’t forget that.” He says gently causing you to smile. He pulls you in for one more kiss.

You pull away before looking at the door confused. “What’s wrong?” Justin asks worried. You walk towards the door, opening it. You watch as the guys fell on the floor and the girls on top of them.

Justin looks at you then back at them. “Uh Uhm we were just checking if the door was stable…and it is.” Za quickly says as they all immediately get up.

“why the hell do you all eavesdrop?” You say causing everyone to laugh.

Enjoy! Requested by @sumaiyah10