#no harm in thinking about stuff before doing so I can always change things later.

[holydramon]

i was stuck on what to do with ryo in the yaoyd-verse and while I still need to like. find and read translations of the wonderswan games and probably rewatch the tamers episodes with him I currently am thinking of making him another Chosen that was “blessed by the Homeostasis”. Which is what I am calling whatever is up with Hikari and Maki.

[rafesslxt]

✧.* 𝑭𝑨𝑽𝑶𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑬 𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑨𝑰𝑹 | 𝑺𝒂𝒎 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒓𝒐𝒆

summary: you and Sam have a secret affair while your bf is his enemy. when you call him to pick you up in that slutty outfit of yours, he shows you what you‘ve missed while partying. - based on this request

warnings: smut!, arguing, cheating, mention of alcohol, smoking, oral (on both), unprotected p in v, cum, choking, orgasm denial, breeding kink, 69 position, dirty talk, dom!Sam but still whimpering here and there bc you cannot tell me he wouldn't

words: 6,5k (bro WHAT) + it‘s 5am so sorry for typos i‘ll correct later

"Don't tell me you're wearing that!" Sam's voice echoes through my room when he stares with jaw down at the dress I changed into. "Sam, it's none of your concern." I sigh, combing lightly through my curls so I don't separate them too much.

It was supposed to be a mistake, a drunken slip, a one time thing. It's been three weeks now and I can't force myself to pull away from the grip he has on me and I don't think he even knows how powerful that grip really is.

It's like I can finally breath again when I'm with him, even If it's never for long or outside our rooms. Currently he's at mine. He came over when I told him I'm getting ready for a party and well - one thing led to another and now he's sitting on my bed with his clothes back on (imagine it like in the picture at the top) watching me getting ready again.

"Are you gonna fuck him?" he asks, jealousy dripping from his voice. "No." I shake my head and glare at him through the mirror. I'm sitting in front of. Since I started sleeping with Sam I didn‘t let him touch me and Sam knew.

I notice him standing up from my bed and slowly stalking over to my chair. He leans down so his head is at the height of my ear. "| want him to fuck you, so you know I can do it better." he almost demands, suddenly tugging my head back with a hard grip on my curls I just styled so perfectly.

"Sam!" I hiss and roll my eyes at him while he still holds my head back. "You're gonna listen to me m'kay?" I gulp and loom at him through my long lashes, batting them at him. He leans closer again and I see his face upside down from my position.

"If you leave wearing that, then the second you come back I'll bend you over everything possible."

I feel the heat creeping up my neck upwards my cheeks, leaving a slight red tint behind. "You belong to me, don't forget that." he mumbles against my lips so soft that you could think he just said the most beautiful thing but his hard grip in my hair reminds me of the opposite.

I know he's obsessive, possessive, jealous. Kind of funny when you think about the fact that he's the affair with me having a boyfriend. And on top of that, his biggest rival. "Enemy" how my boyfriend James would always say.

James. He's the complete opposite from Sam. Mean, bully, rich, entitled, popular, typical jock. I forgot a long time ago why I am in a relationship with him in the first place.

I remember how he alway told me to stay away from Sam when I met him in the cafeteria in school for the first time. Not even a minute after James came and dragged me away from him, not without insulting Sam for speaking to me of course. I smiled at him apologetic, not understanding what was supposed to be wrong with him.

James said Sam's a lot into drugs and stuff but I didn't care. Half of the school is and as long as he's not harming others with it, I really couldn't care less.

I feel Sam's lips ghosting over mine, teasing me with with his hot breath. I love how he kisses me. It's always so full of life, passion and longing. When James kisses me it's just eager, sloppy and wet. Sam kisses like his life depends on it. As If he can't breathe properly but when his lips touch mine.

"Sam.." I breath out in a whiny tone. "Dress like a slut and I'll treat you like one. I don't kiss sluts." he whispers against my lips before pulling away and letting go of my hair. I sigh in frustration when he let's go of me and apply my blush with a pout on my face.

I hear him chuckle behind me, he probably saw the look on my face. "Don't pout angel, write me when you're on your way home later alright?" he grins at me, putting on his shoes and opening my window to climb out of it. I roll my eyes at him playfully, hiding a smile with it when I already feel the excitement in my chest knowing I'll see him later.

And with that he climbs outside and closes the window behind him, winking at me before walking away. It's a miracle to me how he tells me I'm a slut and how he calls me angel the next minute. He always does this, making me feel alive, giddy, like a fucking teenager.

Wait, I am a teenager. But I mean like a teenager with no experiences or one that never talked to a boy before.

I concentrate on my face in the mirror again, applying my favorite lipgloss before I take my purse and throw the lipgloss in it. "Bye Mom!" I shout through the house when I open the front door, hearing her calling me to have a good time and not come home too late.

I love her, she's not too strict and understands me, not forgetting how her life was when she was young like me. But at the same time she would kill for me and protect me from everything. It's a great balance. She trusts me and I don't overstep boundaries.

When I arrive at the party I dressed up for, I can already smell the alcohol and weed from a mile afar through my car window. I roll it up and park a few houses further away when I see everything full of cars.

But what did I expect right? It's James, I mean everyone in either jealous of him or of me because they wanna be with him. If they only knew how easy I would trade that ticket. So of course his birthday party would explode of people. He lives in a big house, his parent's house of course but I think he mentioned something of them being on vacation for two weeks.

I grab the birthday present that rots since two weeks at the backseat of my car and get out of it, making sure that I closed the doors properly. My stomach wrenched and the closer that I get the more my head is starting to get dizzy from all the weed clouds around me.

I greet a few people that I know, hug some of my 'friends' from our friend group and slowly get inside. The air inside is a little better but still smells like alcohol and sweat from the dancing body's in the big living room. "Y/N!" I hear someone shouting over the music. I turn around and notice James' best friend coming towards me.

"Hey Mike, how are you?" I ask him trying to be polite but the truth is the more seconds passed, the more I wanted to throw my gift at James and get the hell out of here. There was a time were I loved nights like these right I front of me. Where I was one of the dancing body's sweating and drinking, sometimes even smoking. But now I just felt so - out of place.. wrong.

"I'm good, I'm good. I guess you're looking for your boyfriend? He's in the backyard with the rest." I smile at him and nod, thanking him for telling me before I watch him disappearing back into the crowd.

I let out a deep breath. I got this. It's just one night. A few hours, right? And then I'll be at Sam's. God I have to stop thinking about him like that, he's just.. sex, right?

I walked into the kitchen, looking for something to normal to drink but of course they only bought alcohol. I took a red plastic cup and filled it up with tap water, taking a big chuck from it, trying to calm my nerves a little. Oh fuck it. I grabbed a whiskey bottle and filled my cup up with Pepsi and the alcohol in my hand. Yeah, that's better for calming nerves. I mean, I'm already here so why not try to have at least a little fun.

With the drink in my hand I leave the kitchen and open the glass doors t the back yard where James is supposed to be. And doesn't take me long to find him with 'the rest' how Mike said. 'The rest' is usually our friend group. I like them, I really do. But they're just.. not that deep. It's fun to party with them, go to school with them - well the ones that don't skip all of their classes, and maybe even talking about little problems like arguing with parents or fights with boyfriends and girlfriends. But that's as far as it goes.

Maybe that's the reason why I feel so comfortable around Sam. I remember the first night we had sex, he lit up a J afterwards and asked me If I wanted to. I shook my head and sat on my rooftop with him, watching the stars. I never talked to him a lot before, like I said James kept me far away from him, but still we talked abut everything that came to our minds.

Aliens, the universe, the stars, the whole fucking galaxy. How does everything work? Is the government telling us everything? Are there already people on our earth that don't come from here? Maybe it was the weed, but I don't think so. It felt natural to talk with him. Having a good laugh for the first time win months.

My heart starts to race when I think about that night with him. Sometimes I wonder If I'm - no. That couldn't be. It can't be. He would never also. Right?

I get thrown out of my thoughts when I feel two arms sliding around my body from behind. "Hey baby." a deep voice whispers into my ear. I know it's James. I smell his cologne and obviously I recognize his voice. His breath smells like alcohol, a lot alcohol.

"Hey James. Happy Birthday." I force a smile on my lips and turn around in his grip. He kisses me and cups my face in his hands, squeezing my cheeks together. "Thank's babe. Why are you standing here tho? Come on let'S go to our friends." He takes my hand into his and pulls me towards a little chill lounge where everyone sat with drinks or J's in their hands. "Hey guy's!" I greet every single one of them before sitting down next to my boyfriend.

"Here, for you." I smile at him and give im his present. "Thank you baby." he smiles brightly when he opens it and see's what's inside. "Hell yeah!" he grins and pulls out a pair of shoes. To be honest, I don't know what's so special about him but I knew he talked 24/7 about them with Mike and how hard they are to get to I asked a friend of my dad who had a lot of connections when it was about fashion.

"They are great, thank you baby." He gives me another kiss, sloppy and a little too wet. God how I missed Sam's lips and - no. "Yeah, no problem." I answer, trying to hold my smile up.

The night went by slow, my mind racing with the wrong thoughts when you're considering I'm sitting right next to my boyfriend. He has his hand on my thigh, and his other one around his red cup filled with liquor.

At some point I started to take drink after drink, probably not being able to drive later. I took out my phone, reading some messages I have gotten. Two from my best friend Lisa, who lives in New York, sadly, and one from Sam. My heart starts racing again so I take another sip from my drink before opening it.

"How's the party going?"

I try to hide a smile when suddenly a evil little idea gets to my head. Everyone around my was busy ding something so no eyes were on me when I took a photo of James hand on my thigh and send it to Sam with a little message.

"How I wish it was your's."

I bite the inside of my cheek when I wait for an answer, not expecting it to come as quick as it does.

"Is that you'r way of showing me how sorry you are for ging out like that?"

I swallow down the clump in my throat and try to ignore the bad feeling in my stomach. Is he mad? Was it a bad idea to send him a picture? I know he's a jealous type but I already have too much alcohol in my veins to be reasonable.

I lean backwards against the lounge I'm sitting on and take another picture. This time of my face and cleavage not letting a lot to the imagination. I bite down on my bottom lip and smirk into the little camera of my phone, looking up as innocently as possible.

"How about I show you how sorry I am later?"

What I don't know is how Sam's breath got stuck when he saw my message. He looked at it, imagining how he would rip that damn dress off and fuck me through the whole night. His hand wanders down to his hard cock, massaging it slightly through his sweatpants. A quite moan leaves his lips when he stares at the way I bite down on my lip. "Little minx." he mutters to himself when he closes the picture and let's go of his boner.

"Trust me, you'll be sorry. Have fun at your little party, angel."

With a smile on my lips I put my phone away again, grabbing my cup. "Why're you smiling like that? Who texted you?" the voice of James ask me, making me jump a little. "Huh?" I look up at him when he towers his head over me a little. " I saw you texting and smiling. Who texted you?" he repeats himself, a serious look on his face.

I sigh when I knew how this would go. I mean, he's right and If we're being honest, I'm cheating on him There's nothing romantic or noble behind this. He's right. But at the same time, he was jealous in a little meaner way than Sam is. I never cheated on James before and even two years ago when we started dating, he always accused me of cheating on him or texting other boys when in reality I've never done such a thing.

Oh, there even was a rumor once that he cheated on me with a girl from our friend group, Amanda. She's nice. But also knew it was true that she had an eye on James.

"Lisa texted me." Well, that wasn't a lie. "Oh yeah? And what made you smile about it?" he asks, glaring at me. I roll my eyes at him and look away, knowing he hates it. So I'm not really surprised when he pulls my face back into his direction and repeats himself again.

"What made you smile, y/n?" "Oh my god she's my best friend and lives in another state! I was just happy she texted me!" I groan annoyed and stand up from my seat, his hand dropping from my thigh. "Where are you going?" he calls after me but also doesn't make any attempt on following me so I ignore his words and walk back inside through the house and up some stairs that I know lead to a bathroom.

When I get inside I lock the door behind me and let out a deep breath. I pull my phone out of my purse and look for a certain name in my contact. I hold it against my ear when it starts ringing on the other side. Not even two rings later he picks up.

"What's up, angel?" Sam smiles into the phone. "Miss you.." I mumble into the phone, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub behind me. I hear him chuckling. "Then leave, it's that easy." "You know its's not." I argue, pouting while looking into the mirror over the sink. I run a finger over the corner of my mouth, taking off a little of my smudged lipgloss.

he sighs into the phone now too so I continue talking. "he's gonna ask where I'm going and then will insist on one of his friend bringing me home just so he knows I'm not going anywhere else. And If I go without telling him he'll literally stand in front of my house after at least an hour."

"Break up with him." he says. "What?" I gasp, surprised he said that. I mean yes it is obvious that I should but not one time one of us really spoke these words. "You're not happy with him and you'll never be. You should find someone where you are." Someone. I don't know if it's the feeling slowly creeping up my neck and spilling over after holding them in for so long or simply the alcohol but I only scoff and roll my eyes.

"Yeah, right. Someone." my voice sounds cold and distant, pissed. "Y/n was you know what I mean.." "No, Sam. Actually I don't" Silence. And another sting I feel in my heart.

"See you, Sam." I chuckle sarcastically and press the red button on my phone. Not a second later I hear someone knocking on the door. "Y/n? Are you inside??" I groan when I hear James voice. God why can't he just leave me alone.

I stand up from the bathtub and walk over to the door, unlocking it. "Oh, Mike." I say, realizing it's not James. "Uh- James told me to look after you." "Oh, great? And he couldn't do it by himself?" I scoff, pushing past his best friend. I hear him sigh too and walk after me. "You know how he is." "An asshole?" I state, looking at him. He just grins and shrugs. "It's fine. I just wanna be alone for a moment, okay?" "Okay." He nods slowly and leaves.

I really don't know why he's keeping up with James bullshit. He's way too smart and nice for all of this. Well, just like me.

Still annoyed I wander through the hall of this ridiculous huge house, scanning all these portraits and pictures on the walls. My parents are rich too, really rich but this is just.. hideous A family of 5 living in a house as big at the fucking White House.

My mind races with thought when I suddenly hear voices whispering and giggling. I knit my eyebrows and try to be as quiet as possible to hear them again. They lead me to a big door to which I press my ear against. I recognize the voices but I couldn't quite put my finger on who they were so nosy me slowly opens the door a little just to take a little peep.

I didn't expect to see what was I front of me. My boyfriend. And Amanda. Making out on a couch. "When are you finally breaking up with her?" I hear Amanda whine like the little bitch she is. "I don't know. I told you this is just a one time thing Amanda." he answers.

What is going on? "One time thing? You're telling me four months are a one time thing for you?" she argues back. What did she just say? Four months? I close the door and take a step back.

I mean I know I'm cheating on him too. I'm no saint. But fucking four months? At the same time, I go inside myself for a moment and try to feel anything. But nothing. Not a single tear, not a single ache in my heart. I feel.. relieved? Am I crazy? My boyfriend of two years cheats on me and I feel relieved?

I quietly walk back down the hall, back down the stairs to the party. It's over. It's fucking over. I feel a smile creeping up my face when I walk outside into the backyard again. "Hey y/n, everything good?" A girl named Jessy asks me. I smile at her, almost laughing. "I'm feeling as good as never before." A giggle slips out my mouth when I sit down and take another drink from the table. They share a few looks but I couldn't care less.

I take out my phone and open the chat between me and Sam. Just now I see he texted me right after our phone call.

You know what I meant y/n.

It's complicated.

Please don't ignore me.

Are you still coming over later? I miss you

Miss your tight litte pussy around my cock

I roll my eyes at the last message but chuckle.

Oh and I know you just rolled your eyes at that

Wanna see your pretty (your eye color) eyes roll back when I fuck your attitude out of you

I quickly type in my answer, sending it with no regret now.

Can you come pick me up Sammy? I'm drunk and I want you, please.

Of course angel. Where do you want me to park? The street before the main?

Just park in front of the house

He was surprised at my massage but shrugged it off.

Alright. Gonna be there in 30.

I tucked my phone away again, taking in a deep breath. The excitement crept up in my chest again. Now that I knew James cheated on me too, I had a much less guilty for doing it with Sam. Old me would have ripped her hair out when I saw her sitting on my boyfriends - ex-boyfriends lap. But you know what? Let her have him. I know he's bad in bed. Let her realize one day she's off better.

After only fifteen minutes I heard them coming outside together, giggling slightly before sitting back down and pretending nothing happened. I played dumb and smiled at James. "Hey, where have you been? I looked for you." Yeah, let him sweat a little. "Oh uh- I looked for you too, I've sent Mike to tell you." he grumbled, glaring at his best friend.

"Hm, weird. And why did you came outside with her?" I point at Amanda, who looks at me like a deer in the lights. "She uh- she helped me. She helped me looking for you.." he stumbles over his own words.

I just nod when I felt my phone vibrating.

I'm here. Drove faster.

I smile at Sam's message and stand up without saying a word. "Where are you going?" James asks, this time following me. Amanda and Mike stand up too, following him like fucking puppy's.

"Home." I say, shrugging with my shoulders without looking at him. " You're drunk. Let Mike drive you home, he didn't have that much." he tries. "Oh don't worry, my drive is already here silly." I giggle, my stomach tingling in the best way possible when I see Sam's car lights through the windows.

"What do you mean?" James asks me mad, walking a bit faster now to keep up with me. I walk through the living room again and then outside the front yard where I see Sam leaning against the passenger seat door.

Before walking towards him I stop and turn around. "James, it's over. I'm not mad at you okay? I did the same. I'm just so relieved that you obviously feel the same about our relationship." He looks at me dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?" I roll my eyes and laugh at his words. "Oh come on. I saw you and Amanda and I heard you too and don't even try to deny it please cause I'm fucking someone else too."

I see the anger creeping up his face, ignoring the fact that he's cheating on me completely. "WHAT? Who the fuck are you talking about?" Then it hits him. He looks at me and beside me in the distance, he recognizes Sam standing against his car.

"You've got to be fucking kissing me you dumb slut!" he starts shouting and insulting me but I turn around and walk to Sam. I notice him looking at me confused but I just straight walk towards him, push myself against him and kiss him with all the passion inside me, in front of everyone.

I hear James yelling in the background, Mike probably holding him back. Sam's lips move against mine, his hands wandering up my sides, gripping the flesh beneath his fingers. "Fuck, what's that all about huh?" he mumbles against my lips, pulling away slightly.

Out of nowhere I feel the heat pooling in my stomach, yelling at me to finally fuck him. "I want you Sam. Want you to fuck me stupid." I had to giggle, I can't stop it. God he has to think I'm ging literally crazy but he just bites his lips and pushes me inside his car, driving off with me.

"What happened in there?" he chuckles and gazes at me for a second before returning his eyes back to the road in front of us. 

"You'll never believe! When I hang up I wandered around the house and found him with Amanda, making out and her saying that they are fucking for four months now. And I - I just felt so free all of a sudden. No tear no anger, nothing. Just free." I ramble my words down, smiling the whole time.

"So I got you for myself now huh?" I don't know why but my cheeks burned like hell when he said that. Did he want me for himself? I mean yeah well who wants to share but like- does he want me or want me?

When we arrive his house, he parks in front of the house, helping me out of the car and inside the house. "Your Dad home?" I whisper to him when we walk up the stairs to his room. He shakes his head and grins devilish. "He's camping or something. Means you can be as loud as you want, angel." I bite my lip at his comment and rush upstairs with him, him basically throwing me onto his bed but upside down, so my head is at the edge of the bed.

"Remember what I told you If you go out in that outfit, I'm gonna fuck you over everything possible?" he remarks with his voice so raspy in my ears. I bite down on my lip again, nodding and trying to hide a smile but failing miserable. "This will be the last time you're laying on this bed for tonight." he grins down at me and leans down towards my lips, licking over my bottom lip before kissing me.

I hum against his lips when I feel him nibbling on mine. When he pulls away his breathing gets heavier. Is he just as excited as I am? He puts a hand on my cheek and strokes the skin with his thumb. "You're gonna be a good girl, angel?" "Hmm of course."

"Good, then do what I say, alright?" he half demands. I see him opening his belt, and pulling down the zipper of his jeans. "You got me so fucking hard you have no idea." he chuckles while pushing everything in the way down.

No matter how often I see his cock, it always amazes me again how big he is, his pretty pink tip leaking pre-cum. He takes a step closer to the bed again and grabs my arms, pulling me so much that my head hangs over the edge. "You're gonna suck my cock and maybe I'll play with you." I nod eagerly and open my mouth for him, ready to take him in.

He takes his dick into his own hand and rubs it teasingly against my lips, biting down on his own lip. I sneak out my tongue and lick off the salty essence from his tip, letting it slide over and over it again.

"Hmm.." then out of nowhere, he pushes in, almost choking me with it. His eyes roll back before he moves his hips, fucking my mouth without giving me a moment to get comfortable. "Shit, it alway surprises me how well you can take it. Let's see how far you can." he groans, pushing his hips deeper.

I try to breathe through my nose and concentrate on pleasuring him, hoping he would reward me for it. "I'm gonna fuck your throat baby, 's that alright?" he asks before pushing in deeper after I nod slightly. "Oh fuck.." he let's out a deep groan and closes his eyes. "I can see my fucking dick in your throat baby. God that's so hot."

His gaze wanders over the rest of my body until he sees my purse beside me, my phone fallen out of it. He leans forwards, choking me even more and takes it into his hands. I see him start taking pictures of it and smiling at them like a artist who just found his muse.

Tears start forming in my eyes due the feeling of him choking me every few seconds. "Fuck you look so pretty when you cry baby but that's your fault hm. Got outside like a little slut. Remember, you act like one, I'll treat you like one." he repeats himself.

I move my tongue up and down at the side of his cock, massaging the prominent vein he has. I hear him whimper slightly, his tough facade faltering a little.

He let's his hands wander over my body, massaging the flesh beneath my dress, pinching my nipples through the fabric making me whine around his cock. "Fuck you like that, right? Think I'm gonna reward you for listening so good." he slowly pulls out his cock and let's me catch my breath. I cough a little and swipe away the tears that started to run down my face.

He looks at me expectingly and raises one of his brows. "Thank you." I choke out to which he nods and leans over my body, pulling up the front of my dress. I hear him chuckle when he notices the wetness soaking through my underwear. "You get off on sucking my cock?"

His fingers ghost over my aching clit, teasing it through the fabric. I whine out loud and push my hips up. "Please, please touch me Sammy." "Hmm but I', already touching you. Gotta be more specific."

"Pleeease, need to feel your mouth. Please." never in my life would I beg any man like that. But for Sam to touch me I would get on my knees and start praying.

He pushes my underwear to the side and laps at my puffy folds, tasting me and groaning. "You taste so good.." then he starts sucking my clit and I almost faint at the feeling. I let out a silent moan, bucking my hips but he presses them down and slightly nibbles at my clit.

"Fuck Sam!" my scream echoes probably through the whole house. "Suck my cock again." he mumbles against my pussy, adding a finger and teasing my entrance with it. I grab his hard cock and wrap my lips around the tip, sucking on it with a lot of pressure. "Oh yeah.." he groans against me, sucking harder on my nub.

I feel his finger entering me slowly, then another one so it's two and curling them up just right. I let out a long moan around him, squeezing my eyes shut. I take him deeper until he hits the back of my throat.

He groans against my clit, making me moan around his cock because of the vibration. It's like an endless circle of pleasure.

He starts pumping his fingers faster, flicking his tongue over my clit like he knows every inch of my body. Well – he does.

Then I start feeling it, the fire pooling in my abdomen. My walls clench around his fingers, signaling him I'm almost there. He let's go of my clit and continues pumping his fingers. "Are you close baby?" he asks tauntingly and puts his thumb on my now sensitive clit, rubbing it without any mercy.

I cry out around his cock, tears running down from all the pleasure around me. Never ever did James make me feel like this just from oral. Then, right before I explode, he stops. Pulls out his fingers and let's go of my pulsing nub, even pulling his cock out of my mouth.

"Sam!" I cry, bucking my hips into the air. "That's for leaving in that fucking dress." he whispers, kneeling down so his face is in front of mine. I huff out some air, pouting when I lose my orgasm.

He grabs my should again and pulls me up, away from the bed. He pushes me towards his desk with a mirror on it, grabbing my neck. " 'm gonna fuck you from behind and you're gonna watch yourself in the mirror, yeah?" "Yes." I answer, leanin forwards, my upper body on his desk now. "Spread your legs." he commands and pushes them apart with his knee.

"Look at that, I don‘t even have to fucking touch your dress, you‘re such a little whore." he spat when he sees my dress isn't covering my ass anymore. A sudden pang hit's me. I look over my shoulder back at him and see him grinning at me, slapping my ass again but this time a lot harder.

I moan when his hand hits my skin, making him smirk even wider. "I should have known you're gonna like that." he pulls my underwear down and positions himself at my entrance. "Beg for it, wanna hear what a little slut you are for me."

"Hm yes your slut only.." I moan and wiggle my hips against him, hoping for some friction. "Please Sam, I need to feel you inside me, please. I've been so good, please." my begging is like music to his ears and before I can see it coming, he pushes inside me with one go.

"Oh fucking hell!" he groans loudly, his mouth wide open and his eyebrows pushed together. "Fuck Sam, I feel you so deep!" I whine, grabbing the edge of the desk. He starts moving his hips, slowly at first and then fast like never before.

The sound of his thrusts, his skin slapping against mine could be heard through the whole house together with our moans and groans. Thank god his Dad is camping.

His right hand finds it way around my throat, squeezing it just lightly to make me feel lightheaded. "Look at yourself." he demands. I bite my lip when I watch him through the mirror. I could see the sweat on his forehead, a few hair strands clinging to it. His eyes are slightly hooded from the pleasure he felt every time my walls massaged his cock just so perfectly.

"So fucking tight I swear If I didn't knew better I would think you're a fucking virgin." I love how dirty his words are, every time. "God, you're milking me." a little whimper leaves his lips when I squeeze my walls around him, the sound going straight to my core, making me clench even more. Like I said before, just a circle of pleasure.

"You know what's the best of it all? At first it was more about fucking his girlfriend, knowing she's coming around my cock. But now I have you all to myself and I'm gonna die before I let anyone else touch you ever again. You're mine now, angel." he pants and Strats to move his hips in a brutal pace now, making me scream out his name.

"Yeah, scream my name so loud the whole fucking neighborhood knows who you belong to, come on." The grip of his hand around my throat get's tighter, making me dizzy but also so soaked.

"I'm gonna fill you up so good until your little cunt is dripping with my cum." I gasp at his words, my walls clenching around him automatically. "Oh you like that baby? Like the idea of me pumping that pussy full with my cum? Shit, you're like a fucking dream. Just as sick and dirty as me." "Sam.. please.." I whine, sobbing at the thought of his words.

"Say it baby, say it, come on. Let me hear it. Fucking let me hear you beg for it." he groans, his cock already throbbing inside of me, ready to bust. "Oh Sammy please, please fill me up. Come inside of me, wanna feel it so bad." I let out a few sobs again, watching him react to my words in the mirror.

His eyes roll back and one of his hands wanders around me, rubbing my clit in circles, adding to the tight feeling in my stomach. "I'm so close.." I whimper, closing my eyes.

"No no no, you're gonna watch yourself come around me." I open my eyes again, feeling tears pooling inside my eyes. I look at the desk beneath me, rocking back and forth, all his school stuff already on the floor. "Sam, please let me come, please."

He lets out a dark laugh and slaps my ass again with much more force than before. "Want me to fill you up real good? Wanna feel my cum dripping down between your pretty thighs? Wanna walk around with my baby inside you? Fuck you would be such a good mommy hm.."

My eyes roll back at his words and the crushing feeling finally explodes inside me, a broken cry leaving my lips when I finally come around him, milking him so good.

"Fuck y-yes oh I'm gonna come. Gonna come in that tight pussy." a whimper leaves him again, adding to the crushing orgasm I have. His grip on my hip and my throat get's tighter, so tight I almost can' breath.

With a loud moan he let's go, spilling his hot seed inside of me. "Shit.." I whimper, feeling him flooding my cunt. When I slowly calm down again, I look over my shoulder, seeing him panting heavily, his chest rosing up and down. He slowly pulls out of me, a little whimper leaving me.

He takes a step back and smirks the he scans my body, his cum running down the inside of my thighs. "Hmm looks so fucking good." He comes closer again and pushes his cum back inside. "Keep it there." he whispers inside my ear, leaving shivers down my spine.

He pulls me back up and hold me when he notices my numb legs. "Don't think I am done with you angel. I said on every fucking surface."

My wide eyes look up at him but only met with his devilish looking ones. "This is gonna be so much fun, angel." he speaks before pushing me against his window, my legs wrapped around his hips.

This is definitely better tan crying after a break up.

Sooooo what do we think? My first Sam Monroe fic 🤝🏻

hope u liked it and thank u for reading! 🖤

My Masterlist

xoxo sarah <3

[annerb-fic]

If you would but indulge this fandom elder for a few moments, I'd like to point out a few things that I think can make all of our fannish experiences on this hellsite (affectionate) so much more joyful.

Try not to treat yourself or others as "content-providers."

This happens when you allow yourself to be influenced by real or imagined expectations and demands of others. "But I know people want..." "But people would expect me to..." "But they might not like it if I..." "It's been too long since I've written/posted anything..." "What if people get upset if I..." These are the joy killers. The only questions you should ask yourself when posting stuff to tumblr (or not) is "does this bring me joy right now?" and "would this cause harm?" That's it. You can also tag liberally so people can block stuff if they want. That's also a nice thoughtful thing to do. But try not to let the nebulous concept of "people"--your followers, your readers, the internet at large, or whatever--become a bogeyman in your own head. Most of us already have enough internal critics trying to trip us up at any given moment. Try not to invent more.

Treating others as "content-providers" happens if you send asks or comments to someone on this site demanding more content of a specific type, or insinuating that you are entitled to something from that person. You are communicating to that person that they only have value as a content-provider, and only when providing whatever it is you want. This is dehumanizing and ignores the thousands of reasons that person might choose to be here. Tumblr is not a subscription service. No one is paying for anything here. Most people here are just doing stuff that makes them joyful and we are lucky enough that sometimes they share it with us too!

2. Fandom is not a marriage.

The concept of "being in a fandom" is actually incredibly nebulous, as it should be! There is nothing you need to do or declare to be "in a fandom." There is no minimum threshold of love, or time, or interaction, or "production." It's just a feeling. A place. A space that brings joy. (And sometimes, heartbreak, but that's another topic all together.)

Fandom is also not a marriage. You can't cheat on a fandom. You do not have to have formal divorce proceedings and let go of one fandom before messing around with another one. There's no such thing as fandom infidelity. Neither is fandom a job. You don't have to give two weeks' notice. You don't have to post public intent on the town hall. You're not banned once you step out, never to return. You can "take a break" without any moral implications or risk of becoming the focus of a pop culture debate about whether or not you were justified to mess around with another fandom during that time. You can leave a fandom and never go back, all without having to consciously decide to do so. You can fall out of love with a fandom and then fall back in love with it later. It's not a marriage/job! There are no rules!

3. Take ownership and curate your own experience.

If there is a thing, or a blog, or a person who once brought you joy, but on balance no longer does, or makes you more disappointed or annoyed or upset than not, you do not have to keep interacting with them/it. Following someone on tumblr is also not a marriage. You can follow/unfollow as you like, no harm, no foul. It's just curating your personal joy, and I hope we will always wish each other the best with that. If you are scared of "missing out on something," then you will either need to block tags enough to make it enjoyable, or decide unfollowing is worth the risk if it makes you too unhappy to keep following!

The ultimate thing is, it's up to you to curate your fannish experience. It is not up to the person you are following to change to fit your expectations or hopes. (See point #1.) You can feel ways about this, of course! But those are your feelings, which are yours to handle. Do not put them on the other person. Do not send them asks demanding things or lashing out. It won't make you feel better and it definitely won't get you what you are looking for, unless your actual aim is to kill the joy of another person so you are not upset alone. In that case I'm not sure what to tell you other than you might want to spend some time meditating on that one and think about if that's really the kind of person you want to be. Or if this kind of space is actually good for you.

That's it for now. Thank you for indulging me. Don't be a dick on the internet, friends. Take no shit and do no harm. Take care of yourselves! 💕

[arschbiene]

I have this old headcanon that Gilbert smells like bread and that's why birds are attracted to him. This gives G.ermania incentive to keep him around because you plop him down and a few minutes later, you got meat....if he cooperates. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn't.

Anyway I want to quickly rattle off some thoughts I have about these two because it's copium for me:

While I draw G.ermania with Gilbert a lot bc of blatant favoritism, I do not think he really lugs him around all the time. I hc that End-Game G.ermania functions as a traveling diplomat visiting his remaining brother/sisters and their replacements (the children) trying to lay the foundation of peace after he has experienced the damage war has wrought, he just wants better for his kids. so he's constantly traveling about trying to ensure he is leaving them behind in a more peaceful/stable time (he is not and dies saddened by it)

He also travels about when he hears his brother/sisters have died in search of children, he digs them up from the ground at the base of ancient trees as he feels them cry out to him (by strong sensory information) and delivers them to their human and ensures none of them are harmed by them. (I think it's a common human thing to be fearful of change and try to snuff out new little nations before they grow strong)

For Gilbert, he was plagued by a terrible tooth ache and dug him out even though he had reservations because he was born early/premature/a weak literal baby.

He tends to keep Gilbert with him a bit more often than he would the other children if only because he finds him charming/cute. But it's a bit of a selfish game of playing house, he uses Gilbert to play at being human/living a normal life but discards him when troubles arise.

I do not think G.ermania is a good father lol He's decent, but he can be really heavy handed and sharp with his children. He is very loving and does what he can but he is also very sick and old and tired when they come around and he is easily overwhelmed. He is very sorry though. He is always sorry.

He also realizes that Gilbert does better health wise when in the company of other children but they don't think much of him, little nations come and go. None of them will take him in under their wing, leaving him at a loss of what to do with him. He senses that the child has a connection to the land but soon realizes that it doesn't exist yet.

I'm iffy on the baltic pr.ussia stuff and kinda think he had a representative that he replaced but we're putting a pin on it for when i have time to decide what I'd like to do, it's kinda a yes and no for me.

He leaves Gilbert in villages that he feels the boy has strong affinity to the people there. Despite his efforts, Gilbert is faced with a lot of hostility/violence and being left behind is extremely distressing/traumatic to him.

At the time of his birth, everyone pretty much knows a new representative child is a bad omen. He seeks solace/safety in early Chr.istian communities that welcome him. He never gets to say goodbye to G.ermania, he knows he's sick and Chr.istianity is destroying him but he's an unreliable often chaotic parent and he's angry at him for always being so quick to leave and slow to return, so he clings to the first people who come to him with promises of strength, glory and nationhood and leaves with them.

[tmpestuous]

moth to a flame - nine

summary: the result of bucky’s plan shows that actions do indeed, have consequences.

pairing: college!bucky x reader

chapter warnings: angst angst angst, toxic relationships, emotional torture/abuse, threats, atlas is an asshole, mentions of physical injuries, amputation, hospitals

word count: 3.5k

a/n: i couldn’t bear to leave this series unfinished so we are back. i will most likely edit the entire thing when it finished, but this chapter is a rough one. once again, i am apologizing in advance.

series masterlist

FRIDAY — 7:15 PM

Sitting and waiting for Bucky, you looked at the time on your phone again for the umpteenth time; he was over an hour late. You tried to ease your anxiety, but it was impossible as his location was off, he wasn’t answering any texts, and he wasn’t picking up his phone.

The guilt you were feeling had begun to manifest itself physically, the pain in your chest a bit unbearable. He’s never late, and knowing that Atlas’s circle of goons had their eyes on him all day, your mind drifted to the likely answer for his absence. 

You wiped the tear that escaped one of your eyes, staring at the list of messages you’d sent to him.

5:52 PM: hey, I’m already at the lake (: ready whenever you are 6:23 PM: hope you didn’t get caught up in something. you’re never this late 6:46 PM: answer my call? I’m getting worried ): 6:54 PM: I hope everything is okay. I love you 7:08 PM: I’m so sorry.

You weren’t even too sure why you’d sent the last message, but whatever transpired with Bucky had to do with you. All of this had to do with you. You should’ve just stayed away, kept him out of harm’s way and maybe the guilt wouldn’t creep up on you the way it is now.

Taking a leap of faith, you called Steve instead of pressing Bucky’s contact again.

“Hello?” 

“Steve?” You responded. “I’m sorry to call out of nowhere, I- I know we haven’t talked in a while but I didn’t really know who else to call.”

“What’s wrong? Is it Bucky?” You hesitated a bit, answering your mental question about if Bucky was home. “Y/N? Are you still there?”

“Yeah,” you choked out, an obvious cry in your throat. “Bucky was supposed to meet me by the lake over an hour ago and he hasn’t showed up yet so I called to see if maybe he was home but–”

“He hasn’t been back since he left around noon today,” Steve interrupted. “Shit, do you think…?”

“Can you come get me?” You ignored his assumption.

“Yeah, yes, of course. I’m on my way.”

Steve showed up about 15 minutes later, Natasha by his side as they saw you crying to yourself on the bench by the lake. Natasha pulled you into her embrace immediately after sitting next to you, Steve watching from the side. 

Natasha did her best to calm you down, reassuring you that everything would be okay as you continued to repeat how this whole situation was your fault. Your cries barely ceased but once you gained some composure, you pulled away.

“Come on, we still have a few hours before they kick us out of the dorms for break,” Natasha suggested as she rubbed your shoulders, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you shook your head.

“Atlas has my location, we should just go to my place,” you countered, the same way you had done with Bucky less than 24 hours ago. “You guys can stay there if you want. It’s kinda small but-”

“We’ll fit,” Steve cut you off, offering a half-smile in comfort. “Don’t worry. We always find a way.”

Steve alerted everyone of the situation at hand, prompting them all to collect their stuff for the week off and meet up at your place. You, Steve, and Natasha were obviously the first ones in your space. They could sense your anxiety from a mile away.

Though Bucky had informed you of everyone’s remorse the night prior, you still weren’t ready to face anyone. Especially Wanda. They knew of your circumstances but the truth didn’t change because of it. You had lied to their faces. You could’ve pleaded for help but decided to let your fears take over. 

“They’re not mad at you,” Steve said, sitting on your coffee table opposite your place on the couch.

“Your ass is on my coffee table,” you avoided responding to his statement, cracking a joke that made him huff in amusement.

“Have you eaten anything?” He asked, prompting you to shake your head. “You were gonna have dinner with Bucky, weren’t you?”

You nodded, looking down at your hands. “We have to find him, Steve. What they’re gonna do to him is—”

“I know,” he cut you off. “We will. Find him, that is.”

You nodded again. 

The rest of the group arrived shortly, piecing together what they’d spent the day investigating. No one mentioned the elephant in the room, which you were somewhat grateful for. Apologies were given, but no extensive discussion given the situation at hand.

They had the address you gave them, though had no information about any party there. Natasha had luckily scared some sense into Sharon, letting her know that the party wasn’t happening at the house you were told of. She’d figure out where it was and let Natasha know as soon as possible.

Apparently, Sharon was just as remorseful as everyone else. She’d taken a liking to Bucky, but Atlas wasn’t necessarily easy on her either. She knew everyone would find out sooner or later, but her newfound feelings for Bucky wouldn’t ever overshadow the actions she’d taken part in. 

You had taken a reprieve from the current brainstorming in your living room, sitting next to your bed on the floor and staring down at the t-shirt Bucky had borrowed just the night before.

Your tears wouldn’t let up, soon falling down your face as you held the shirt in your hands, smelling the linger of his usual scent mixed with the soap you’d used to shower together. 

One night. It was the one night you had been craving for months, since you realized maybe you’d both made a mistake. The taste of his mouth on yours, the feeling of his arms casing you in, the sound of his breaths as he slept so peacefully.

You got one night with him before everything turned to shit. And all of it was your fault. You couldn’t face him after all of this was over, not if it ended the way you inwardly prayed it wouldn’t. It would kill the both of you, but you think the shame would kill you first. 

Wiping your tears frantically as you heard a knock on the door, you told whoever was in the hallway to come in. 

Steve opened the door, looking at you holding Bucky’s shirt, sighing to himself as he stretched his arm out, your phone in his hand.

“It was ringing,” he said as you grabbed it from him, silently thanking that he didn’t try to get you to open up about your current breakdown.

Tapping your screen, you saw 2 missed calls from Atlas right as he texted you.

Atlas: Come by the house later. We need to talk.

“Shit,” you hissed, prompting Steve to ask what’s wrong. “Atlas wants to talk.”

“And you think it’s about Bucky,” Steve added as you stood up from your spot on the floor, shoving your phone in your pocket.

“I guess,” you shrugged, wiping your eyes again. “I don’t know what to do.”

Fiddling with your fingers, Steve surprisingly pulled you into a hug. You returned it, trying to stifle the sob in the back of your throat. Steve didn’t say a word, but the gesture was more than enough. 

Pulling away, you sniffled, looking up at the blonde in front of you. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” he said softly, his expression one of guilt. 

“I feel like after all of this, I won’t be able to look at him again,” you admitted, the ache in your chest unbearable. “Whether it’s bad or not, I just- it’ll kill me to know whatever happens to him was because of me and I did nothing to stop it.”

“What are you supposed to do?” Steve asked sternly, furrowing his eyebrows. “Bucky made this decision on his own. We tried to talk him out of it and he still kept it. You know better than anyone he’s not the easiest to persuade.”

“It doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s doing this because of me.” Your words came from a place deeper than painful, tears pooling in your eyes once more. After dropping your head in shame, Steve put his hands on your shoulders.

“Whatever happens, Bucky will make it out. Atlas won’t,” he promised. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Okay,” you breathed out, your gaze still fixated on the floor. Exhaling a deep sigh, you wiped the tears that had dared to fall. “I should go see what Atlas wants.”

Releasing your shoulders, Steve nodded once. “Be safe, alright?”

“I will,” you assured, though your voice loomed in uncertainty.

Knocking on the door to the god forsaken frat house, you rocked back and forth. Impatience consumed your bones, bringing your irritation to a boil with each passing second that the door hadn’t been opened yet. 

You rang the doorbell instead of knocking again, waiting a few seconds before you saw Quentin Beck open the door.

Clearly there’s an asshole convention happening.

“What are you doing here?” He spat.

Not in the mood, you scoffed. “Atlas fucking told me to come, asshole. Where is he?”

His angry expression turned into a fearful one. “Are you sure he’s expecting you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, he texted me to come here. Want to see the fucking text too or are you gonna let me in?”

His face let you know he didn’t think you were lying, your irritation already mixing with the disciplining of a shiver in your spine. What if they had Bucky here?

Your phone was already recording in your bag, and you knew Pietro was waiting to take everything to the police. Sharon had texted Natasha the missing address, and you only hoped you didn’t have to make it to a fucking party for any authorities to take action.

Beck let you in, leaving you next to the stairs as he went to go get Atlas. He seemed more frazzled than when he opened the door, only raising your suspicions while you tried to hold your composure. 

Atlas rushed out of the room, looking a bit disheveled and clearly annoyed by your presence. He approached you quickly, grabbing you by the arm and leading you to a guest room hidden underneath the stairs.

“Why are you here so early?” His voice matched with his facial expression were filled with indignation as he slammed the door behind the both of you. “I said come by later, not right fucking now.”

“What’s the problem?” You retorted, not letting your guard down. Tired was an understatement in describing your feelings about the way he spoke to you, even before this stupid agreement took place. “Hiding something you don’t want me to see?”

“Oh, I’m sure you fucking know what I’m hiding,” he growled, his pupils insanely dilated. “Thought I wouldn’t find out about you and Barnes screwing behind my back?”

“Like you thought I wouldn’t find out about Sharon?”

He froze. “How the fuck do you know about that?” You scoffed in disbelief, actually surprised he didn’t even try to defend himself. “He fucking told you, of course. He was ready to sweep you into his fucking arms and you fell for it like the fucking slut you are.”

Shaking your head as his words held zero weight to you, you crossed your arms. “You’re done, Atlas. This is over.”

“Is it?” He tested. “I still have a video with that pretty little body of yours sitting in a drafted email for your boss. That doesn’t go away for girls like you.”

“I’m not doing this anymore,” you retorted once more, standing your ground. “We’re done. You can’t control me anymore, you can’t hurt anyone anymore. It’s over.”

“You think your measly attempt to get me to back down from my word is gonna stop me?” He chuckled, almost making you question yet again if you ever really knew him. A cynical smirk ghosted over his face as he walked over to you, continuing his dramatic spiel. “Barnes isn’t getting away from me anymore, and I’m gonna make what happened to Maximoff look like fucking rainbows when I’m done with him. I’m going to ruin him so much that his life will be fucking over. He’s gonna be in that hospital bed for weeks and I’m only gonna fucking pray he doesn’t make it out alive. And if he does, he's gonna wish he was dead.”

It felt weird to be relieved that you caught him saying it on camera, the ache in your chest even more insufferable that you couldn’t stop the tears from making an appearance. 

“Save the crying for later, sweetheart,” he snarled, that stupid smirk still on his face as he got close to your face. “You were right about one thing. This is done, but it’s because your life is over. Your career is gone, your little bitch is gone, and your friends won’t even forgive you by the end of it. You’re alone, Y/N. Now get the fuck out of my house.”

Atlas stood up straight, grabbing your arm and walking you out of the house, slamming the front door behind you. You grabbed your phone out of your back, shaky hands stopping the recording as you burst into sobs. After texting the recording to Pietro, you made your way back home as soon as possible.

A minute later and maybe you would’ve heard the startling screams from Bucky.

SATURDAY, 12:13 AM

Nobody could sleep. Everyone was crowding your living room, marinating in a thick silence, waiting for news from the detective assigned to the case you all had dared to open.

Pietro showed them everything necessary for them to take action. Every recording, including the most recent, the pictures of his injuries and the medical reports to go with them, and the addresses of all three houses possibly involved in kidnapping and assaulting a fellow student.

The authorities were baffled at how detailed everything was, hesitating to take action in fear of it backfiring. Pietro pleaded with them, letting them know Bucky’s life was on the line. They didn’t believe him until they heard Atlas’s remarks.

The lead detective on the case had immediately gotten to work, the evidence only further solidifying his trust in Pietro's word. 

Now everyone was waiting to hear back.

Your head rested on Natasha’s shoulders, your eyes heavy from the incessant sobs you expelled all evening. She had an arm around you, knowing how numb you must have felt. Seeing you so defeated and helpless left her heartbroken, knowing you were the strongest out of everyone.

The last few weeks were more than unimaginable, and if she had less control, she would’ve broken Atlas’s face herself. The redhead only wished Bucky might’ve taken her worries a bit more seriously and saved everyone the current heartache of the night.

As the clock neared 1AM, the phone rang. Pietro picked it up without hesitation, everyone’s eyes on him as he put it on speaker.

“It took us a while, but we found your friend,” the detective’s voice blared out of the phone speaker. “They transported him to Metro-General Hospital. His injuries are extremely severe, they had to take him into surgery right away. I called to let you know as soon as I was free.”

“Did they say what he needed surgery for?” Pietro asked, his eyes on your frozen figure.

“Not sure, but the kid had injuries anywhere you looked. We got into contact with his parents and they’re on their way. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Pietro breathed out. “Thank you, Detective.”

He hung up the phone. No one said a word.

Steve’s head was shielded in his hands. Sam stared into the distance. Wanda hugged Pietro. Thor leaned forward on his knees. Natasha wiped a tear off her face as she applied pressure to your body in her embrace. 

You couldn’t speak, breathing manually as you tried not to panic. 

“We should go to the hospital,” Thor broke the silence. 

Everyone else nodded, but you couldn’t move. 

“I can’t go,” you whispered so softly, no one would hear you if it weren’t for the shared silence in the room. “I can’t see him like that.”

Natasha wiped your face as you started to cry again. “He’s gonna be okay,” she reassured. “He’s gonna make it out of surgery, he’s gonna wake up, and he’s gonna want to see you.”

“He’s in there because of me, Nat,” you cried out, your gaze on her blurry as your lachrymal state became hysterical. 

Natasha shushed you, rocking you back and forth as everyone else stared in misery, your sobs into her shoulder filling the room with sorrow. 

There was an intolerable fear amongst the group, an uncertainty for Bucky’s life as it hung in the balance. A deep dejection where remorse followed, counting the what-ifs for past and future possibilities. 

But there was no going back now. The only thing anyone could do was wait.

SATURDAY, 6:23 AM

You’ve always hated hospitals. Nothing good ever came out of being in a hospital. From family deaths to bad diagnoses, Pietro’s visits that had left him flinching more than before, and now Bucky.

The entire group was sitting in the waiting area, Bucky’s parents and sister included, as the surgeon finally approached.

“I’m looking for James Barnes’ family?” She said, prompting everyone to turn their heads. Bucky’s parents stood up, and the doctor looked towards them. “Hi, I’m Dr. Helen Cho, I helped in your son’s surgery today.”

“Is he okay?” Bucky’s mom, Winnifred, asked right away. 

“I have good news and bad news,” Dr. Cho admitted. “The good news is that James is expected to make a full recovery from his injuries. He sustained a handful of them, including some broken ribs, a fractured knee and cheekbone, and devastating damage to his left arm. It is quite unlike anything I’ve ever seen that wasn’t from a horrible accident, but your son is a strong man.”

George Barnes nodded. “And the bad news?”

Dr. Cho sighed. “Well,” she removed the scrub cap from her head, “the damage done to his arm was devastating, as I just mentioned. We have a lot of advancements in our medical technology to help repair even the worst damage to limbs, repairing bones and tendons to prevent amputation, but—”

“But?” Steve interjected, staring at the doctor with his eyes widened. “Are you saying he—”

He couldn’t even finish the sentence, Natasha rubbing his back while his eyes watered. Dr. Cho expressed a look of condolence on her face.

“The bones of both his forearm and upper arm were completely shattered. The authorities mentioned something about aluminum baseball bats—I have never seen anything like this in my entire career. There was no way to repair the bones or use any tools to heal the bones. It was a difficult decision—”

“Was it?” Winnifred cut her off. “You guys cut off my baby boy’s arm and get to move on with your life while his is forever changed,” she scolded. 

“The arm would’ve needed to have been amputated eventually. It would have been impossible to heal. I am so sorry.”

You listened intently as Bucky’s parents disputed in disbelief, Dr. Cho assured them that Bucky would be able to live life normally and was expected to wake up between a few hours to a day. 

You stared at a tile on the floor, picking at your cuticles until they bled while you avoided anyone’s gaze if it was on you. It felt like your body was on autopilot and your brain was turned off. 

He lost his fucking arm. Because of you.

You couldn’t face him, you couldn’t see him. Not when he was still knocked out on anesthesia or when it wore off and those beautiful blue eyes appeared. 

It was going to kill you. The shame, the guilt, the regret. None of this would’ve happened had he not gotten involved. You should’ve ended all of this when you had the chance. 

“Hey,” Nat put her hand on your cheek, but your eyes didn’t move. “Y/N, please look at me.”

The tile on the floor kept your attention while your cuticles were beyond destroyed. Natasha sighed. 

“I want to go home,” you said, your voice so monotone that Natasha knew you were feeling worse than she thought. Your eyes watered but your expression stayed illegible, breaking Natasha’s heart even more. 

Deciding against responding, Natasha simply nodded. She knew it was best to remove you from the situation, not wanting to keep you in the hospital against your wishes. 

She acted swiftly, grabbing Steve’s keys while letting him know she was taking you home. Getting you home as quick as possible, she got you settled into bed, pulling the covers over you before she slid in next to you. 

“I don’t wanna lose him, Nat,” your voice smaller than Natasha had ever heard you speak. 

“You won’t.”

“I have to let him go,” you sniffled.

Natasha pulled you into her embrace, kissing the top of your head and waited for you to fall asleep.

Eventually, the darkness caught up to you.

unfortunately i always find a way to include bucky's disability in aus because i think it is essential to his character and how he navigates life </3 and angst is my specialty. pls don't be mad at me

[enden-k]

Just out of curiosity, if the things were to be reversed (fear Vika/human Saran), what do you think Vika's characteristics would be? I'm intrigued! Do you think their personalities might change? Maybe Saran would be less closed off? The fear itself (you mentioned it was like phobias? Iirc?) Would change?

Totally not trying to get you to talk more about lore and what goes behind fears/Saran turning into one, no sir-

"fear" is just the term used for any type of paranormal being that manifests due to intense negative energy (most often resentment, anger, hatred, sorrow,...) : theyre ranging from ghosts of deceased, manifestations of fears and phobias, nightmares and spirits etcetc and some are harmless and neutral (they can always evolve into smth evil tho) while others are harmful and evil

saran is not a phobia/fear manifestation like mogu is for example; hes a special case of vengeful ghost who went through a mutation (dont wanna disclose too much or i spoil a good chunk)

if their roles would be reversed...thats such a fun question!!! i think i might do an AU of it even AHHAKJSBCK i thought up a whole changed, alternative storyline now

warning for tiny (non descriptive tho) suicide mention, just in case

if their roles would be reversed, half of it would basically be like "if saran didnt die" scenario. their reversed story wont go exactly like the canon story goes tho bc theres no vengeful saran, no fear seeker eyes, no azais questionable methods

sarans life would go exactly how it did before his death (just the 7 years later, in the current present); hes in his early 30s, finished his studies to become a doctor and doing the amygdala stuff as a side job as azais partner since he still refuses to mingle w the ghost world again tooooo much bc of his upbringing in the cult (he always wanted to be just a normal guy instead of constantly interacting with the paranormal)

amygdala isnt a big exorcist organization like it is in canon story but rather a smaller group of exorcists now (basically, just one elite now instead of 10). azai and saran never had the argument that led to his death and azai didnt go the villainous route (lol) which makes saran still one of the only ones who can see the unseen all clear like he sees the living (like in canon story when he was alive)

which also makes him the first to notice and see vika who is a sorrowful sad puppy ghost full of regret bc he was enticed into suicide by an entity and still young and new to the whole paranormal world. its the first time saran feels for a ghost and doesnt exorcise them. vika ends up haunting him instead of the other way around (bc of course they fall in love with each other <3 in every universe) and sticks to him while saran keeps an eye on him to make sure his pure soul wont get corrupted and he ends up an evil ghost. he wants vika to have the chance to enjoy the life that was ended so quickly so early (vika is around the same age as canon) and vika wants him and only him to exorcise him before sarans life comes to an end one day

basically, less dramatic than canon story i guess? just saran and his puppy of a sorrowful ghost living a more or less domestic life bc theres no amygdala doing shady shit in the background and no certain vengeful spirits eating eyes and trying to take revenge kajscbjk

their personalities are still the same, altho saran has less of a "creepy evil" side since hes no evil ghost anymore and vika is even more puppy i think??

[scarawiki]

idk how this app works help

scaramouche x gn!reader , idk the word count 😬

first one shot ever prbly ooc scara i'm not sure how to write him very well :( most of it is rly self indulgent for comfort im going thru it i fear lawl. not beta read either i almost never write pls be nice 🤕🙏🙏 excuse any grammar or spelling errors

cw: mentions of poor eating habits due to depression & anxiety , mental health stuff , yada yada nothing super explicit

divider creds: @rookthornesartistry

You laid still in your bed that you shared with your partner Scaramouche, while he was out and about finding ingredients for dinner.

Since he left, you were once again alone with your thoughts. Constantly ruminating on the past and picking apart everything. Your mind had kept screaming at you, and you couldn't calm it regardless of what you tried. You were left feeling even more hopeless than before.

Scaramouche had picked up on your "odd" behaviors lately, but you simply brushed it off and just told him,

"I'm probably coming down with something. The weather is changing, don't worry about it too much."

You didn't want to burden him with your silly problems, right? Knowing his past, you didn't want to add more to the mix. You were sure you could deal with it on your own.

Following that afternoon, you sobbed. You were so dizzy and your head was pounding, wishing the world had swallowed you whole already. You felt that Scaramouche deserved someone better than your pathetic self. You didn't understand why you couldn't just feel happy. Why was it so hard? Why can't you get out of bed? Why can't you wake up in the mornings?

You heard the front door opening, and you quickly wiped away your remaining tears that rolled down your face, and tried to get comfortable again. Your whole body ached and you just wanted it all to end.

"(Y/N)? I'm home. I managed to find a few things for later tonight. I had to bargain a lot though, food is getting expensive these days."

Scaramouche called out from the living room, setting down everything on the counter. After no answer, he became curious and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Hey? Don't tell me you're still asleep, it's almost 6 PM."

He let out a small sigh after more silence followed, and then opened the door. He saw you were burrowed under the blankets, and came to sit down on the edge of the bed. He pulled the covers back to reveal your tear-stained face, and a wave of concern came over him.

Scaramouche was never particularly good at comforting others, or feelings in general. He was never shown gentleness and compassion in his 500 years of living, before he met you.

"Who did it?"

Scaramouche asked, immediately jumping to the conclusion that someone had caused you harm to hurt this badly.

"No one," you managed to whisper out. "It's really nothing. Don't waste your time on me."

He was slightly taken aback by your dismissive behavior, but decided to pry further. Scaramouche wouldn't know how to deal with himself if anything ever happened to you.

"Okay... well, you haven't been eating, and last time I checked, you aren't a puppet. You've been sleeping in until dinner time for the past few days. Out with it."

He sounded demanding, but soon mentally scolded himself for his tone with you when he saw the vulnerability in your expression.

"I just don't know what to do anymore... I feel so scared and exhausted all the time, I can hardly wake up in the mornings, and food doesn't bring me joy anymore. I can't even remember the last time I felt okay. I didn't want to bother you because I didn't think it was that bad, to be honest. I'm sorry for keeping it from you, Scaramouche. I swear it has nothing to do with you."

Your vision blurred as you spoke, and you could feel your throat closing up. You didn't know how much more you could handle of this constant misery.

Scaramouche stayed silent for a few moments, taking in everything you had told him. You had always seemed so bubbly and excited around him, and when he saw you completely falling apart in front of him for the first time, he felt confused.

"...How long has this been really going on?"

He inquired, and his eyes had a softer look in them.

"A few years, it comes and goes but it doesn't seem like it'll ever get better. I'm tired of suffering, Scaramouche. I want to enjoy life again and look forward to the future. Instead, I dread the next days to come."

You responded, avoiding eye contact and fidgeted with your hands. When Scaramouche took notice of this, he gently grabbed your hands and set them in his lap.

"I'll be blunt, I'm still figuring how these whole "emotions" work. But, I do see that you aren't yourself right now. Yes, you can be a little irritating at times, but I wouldn't be with you if I didn't... love you."

Scaramouche felt hesitant to say those last words, but at the same time it felt right. He then continues,

"It would be pointless to be in a relationship with someone if you weren't upfront with them, but I can see how you might have felt like a bother. I promise that you will never be a burden to me, and I hope you know that I would rather die than ever lay a finger on you, or hurt you any other way. You're one of the first few people to show me how to love and broke through my tough exterior. You never left me during my hard times, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you."

Scaramouche took a deep breath, and looked down at his lap to give your hands a slight squeeze.

"I will do everything in my power to help you feel better. I want to see to see you happy. I want to see that smile on your face again. But, you have to work with me, alright?"

He looks back up and lifts one of his hands to gently grab your chin to face him.

You reluctantly look into his eyes, and slowly nod.

"Okay, I'll try... Thank you."

You replied slowly, drained of any remaining energy you had left. Scaramouche leaned down to remove some of your hair out of the way, and placed a delicate kiss on your forehead. He came back up and caressed your cheek, and sighed softly.

"I'm not letting you suffer alone. Ever."

[oxkarisa]

𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐊𝐀𝐔𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐙 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓

TW: MENTION OF SELF HARM AND DEGRADATION TERMS

this is a bill kaulitz comfort oneshot. basically it’s just bill helping you with your abusive parents and mental health (self harm and stuff like that)

☆*:.｡. o .｡.:*☆

you just got into a huge fight with your parents, they called you a bunch of names like: mistake, useless and more disgraceful words you wanted to block out.

you wanted, no you needed someone to talk too, but at the moment your boyfriend bill was hanging out with his friends. he was the only person you had left.

you did not want to bother him, you laid down on your bed, makeup smeared, eyes puffy and a huge headache from yelling.

you start cry again just replaying the whole fight in your head. this was not the only fight you've had with your parents, and probably won't be the last.

the only thing you could resort to was cutting.

obviously you would try to hide it, but bill would always find out no matter how good you hid them.

you picked up the blade that was hidden in your notebook, looking at it for a few moments. "is it really worth it?" you thought. bill will find out.

you cried even more thinking about bill finding out, he always looks so sad when he sees the scars on your body, but then giggled at his lectures he gives about how it's dangerous.

after staring at your blade for a few more moments you get a call, ironically from bill.

"schatz, i'm on my way to yours!" bill says over the phone, "i don't think you can, my parents and i had another fight again." you said with a raspy voice.

bill went quiet, "well then i'll just wait til they're sleeping and i'll slide through the window." he laughs.

you smile at his laugh. "i'll leave my window open!" you put the blade back in your notebook.

~20 minutes later~

Bill ♡︎ -10:34pm-

i'm here schatz! 🤍

you pick up your phone and smiled, you opened the window and let bill in quietly.

he hugged you, knowing that you were crying before he called. "what happened now, liebe?"the look of worry smeared on his face.

seeing your makeup all messed up, he went over to get makeup remover from your vanity. "c'mere and lay down," he said, tapping on your bed.

you explained how your parents were calling you names again (make up your own scenario, like maybe you were saying how you didn't get to do much or smth) and he started to clean your face off, gently.

he smiles. "Du bist eine schöne Liebe, lass dir von niemandem etwas anderes sagen." (You are beautiful love, don't let anyone tell you anything else.) he caressed your face.

You seen bill get up and change into the clothes he left. he crawled into bed with you, him being big spoon, you little, holding your hand and rocking you till you both fall asleep. every now and then you'd feel a kiss on your neck~

word count: about 575 ఌ

-karisa ♡︎

[satureja13]

Oh my, Jeb and Jack are still cleaning up the mess from the New Year's fires! Even the bear rug got destroyed. The Little Ones are devastated. It was so fluffy! Now they have to sleep on Jack's old blanket again... Ji Ho: "Can I borrow Jack for a while?" The Little Ones: 'No! We want our meadow back - clean - now!' But none of the Boys understands them, so Jeb just said: "Sure."

Meanwhile at the bridge. Sai is still working overtime to get these droid scanners running. Vlad is his assistant this time. Good thing is that now each of them gets to learn some programming skills. Kiyoshi: "Can I borrow Vlad for a while?" Malfoy: "Booook!" Skully: "Sure!" Sai sighed. He really wants to get a grip on Tiny Can soon to stop the Therapy Game before it can do any harm. He checks the reviews on a regular base and there are still no negative ones. But it's just a matter of time, right? People in need could get hurt! But they are still in the orbit of Batuu and Skully and Malfoy are watching the bridge. No need they both have to be here on duty. Maybe Skully is a better captain than he is anyway. Bringing peace to a planet and freeing B.D by just sitting in jail wasn't his best performance... (Don't be so hard on yourself Sai! <3 You did so well!)

Ji Ho and Kiyoshi took Vlad and Jack over to Moogie's Bar. To the Game Room upstairs.

Jack: "Oh you made us a little Star Wars corner!"

Kiyoshi: "That's not all. Turn off the lights and sit down." Jack: "By the gods!" Vlad: "How wonderful."

Kiyoshi: "We don't get to see much of space while we're traveling in subspace. But when we have the chance to, there's no decent place to enjoy it, so Ji Ho and I thought this would be a good idea." Jack: "This is the best idea! It's so amazing!" Jack nudged Vlad who wasn't able to react properly because he was too shocked and astonished Ji Ho would do something this - affectionate - for him. Vlad was just able to say: "Thank you." Kiyoshi placed even some drinks and snacks for them. Kiyoshi: "Enjoy the view." And then Ji Ho and Kiyoshi left. Jack called after Kiyoshi: "I will so thank you later, my beloved mate!" Kiyoshi laughed: "Can't wait!"

After Ji Ho and Kiyoshi left, Vlad said: "It's utterly amazing. I can't believe how beautiful it is." Jack: "Don't tell me. Tell Ji Ho." ... Vlad thought it's best to change the subject. He's too overwhelmed. Ji Ho gave him the stars... Vlad: "I'm so happy for you, Jack. Sai is worried but you've grown so much. Both of you. You will be fine." Jack: "This means a lot to me." Vlad: "I love you." Jack: "I know."

But Jack won't let Vlad off the hook that easily. Jack: "Why are you holding back, hm? He even managed to love you. Nothing is holding you back anymore. Why do you keep yourself from being happy with him?"

Vlad: "Ji Ho is wasted on me, Jack. He's so pure and beautiful. I can't taint him."

Jack: "That sounds stupid - and a little hot ^^' " Vlad: "Omg, Jack!" Jack: "What? 'Uhhh - taint me, Vlad!' That's hot!" Vlad snorted out a laugh: "You're really the worst!" How is Jack always able to light the mood with one stupid sentence?

Jack: "You are my best friend. Do you think I would chose someone minor for this position? No. Neither would Ji Ho pick someone minor for the love-of-his-life position. Trust us, hm? Forget about all that Bond and Prophecy stuff - everything that happened before. Be just-Vlad and let just-Ji Ho love you. You promised to be more approachable for him, didn't you?" Vlad: "Ok, I'll try." Jack: "No, there..." Vlad: "...there is no try. Do or do not. Fine..."

Jack: "That's my boy! Now let's look at our stars, hm?"

'I hear your name whispered on the wind It's a sound that makes me cry I hear a song blow again and again Through my mind and I don't know why I wish I didn't feel so strong about you Like happiness and love revolve around you

Trying to catch your heart Is like trying to catch a star So many people love you, baby That must be what you are

Waiting for a star to fall And carry your heart into my arms That's where you belong In my arms, baby, yeah

I've learn to feel what I cannot see But with you, I lose that vision I don't know how to dream your dream So I'm all caught up in the superstition I want to reach out and pull you to me Who says I should let a wild one go free'

Waiting for a Star to fall - Boy meets Girl

Outtakes

This was when I logged in after the last episode ^^'

TMI: Tonight was one of the nights I'd dreamt of the zombie apocalypse again -.- When I was on the run, I met Jeb! But he was smoking ö.ö And then I said to him: "That's your only flaw." Hahaha Omg, this brain of mine!

They are still not closing their eyes properly -.-

Hahaha and then I was going for this animation where they'd sit and hold the others hands in theirs - but they hated it. So I just had to take what they gave me, as always ^^'

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter 'Goats in Space': starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Piglets in Space' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[windvexer]

I asked that question about the consecrate thing because I read in a magician blog that you should always clean and consecrate the tarot card before using it because otherwise some bad stuff might get attached to you specially if you're doing reading for other people but I also saw people saying this isn't true so Idk

The problem with magic is that there are lots of kinds of it, and some of the kinds are mutually exclusive.

If one guy says, "I have personally experienced Bad Stuff getting attached to me specifically because I didn't use a consecrated tarot deck, and this problem was solved once I started performing cleansing and consecration rituals before every reading," then I'm not going to argue with him.

But I've also been reading tarot for almost 16 years, I don't consecrate most of my decks, and while I've had weird and unwanted spirit encounters while reading for others, it's not something that's destined to happen.

In fact, in my opinion, if "bad stuff getting attached" is likely to happen to a person when they read tarot, something is wrong with that situation beyond a grimy, profane tarot deck.

One reason for such difference of opinion is worldview. When I started practicing magic, I was much more worried about harmful entities getting attached to me. This is because I was raised as a Christian inside of a church that placed heavy emphasis on how many evil spirits and demons were in the world. In the Church, I was taught that every single god or spirit outside of the Holy Trinity was actually a powerful demon in disguise, waiting to trick you into selling your soul to Satan.

Even when I later decided to change my beliefs and start practicing magic, it was very hard to shake the feeling that everything spiritual was very dangerous and evil, and that if I didn't constantly take special actions to protect myself, then bad things would happen to me.

But, the more practice and experience I've accumulated, the more I've moved away from this mindset and come to believe that it isn't true. I don't cleanse and consecrate my cards before I read because I do not believe that I live in a world where it is likely that bad stuff might get attached to me because I do readings.

There could also be a practical difference. If you do lots of readings for spirit workers, or people already dealing with hauntings or bad spirit encounters, then I believe that it's more likely that a tarot reader can make unintentional spirit contact. But that doesn't mean it's possible for the spirit to "attach" itself to the tarot reader, and that doesn't mean the spirit wants to attach itself to the tarot reader.

Maybe it's possible that the person who always cleanses and consecrates their cards is working with a lot of tarot readings that specifically seek information on harmful spirits who are likely to hurt those who "spy" on them.

In addition, I'm a spirit worker and a witch. I have the capacity to deal with encountering bad stuff and dealing with bad stuff. If something negative did try to "get me" through a tarot reading, I can deal with it and resolve the situation. Because of my faith and practice, I believe I have protective spirits around me who help me with these things. I also believe that I have the power to magically protect my home so that when I do divination, bad stuff is already kept at bay, regardless of what I do with the deck of cards.

Maybe that other person is taking action according to a worldview that bad things are likely to happen if they read tarot. Maybe they're often doing "risky" readings that intentionally seek out "bad stuff." Maybe they're choosing to use an abundance of caution. Maybe their magical tradition requires or recommends these extra steps, so that's why they espouse them.

But if that person is saying that all people need to always cleanse and consecrate their decks and always take special protective steps, I disagree. I don't think that's how the world works, and in my experience, that's not how it works.

[vodika-vibes]

Hi! So I’ve been reading your stuff for a while now. If you have time & are willing would you think about writing up a reader x Neyo piece with the reader walking eggshells around him because she’s always feeling intimidated by him and he wants to change that? Thank you!

What A Change

Summary: You're a member of Doctors Without Borders, brought into the war at the request of the Jedi Order. And you've been assigned to the 91st for months now. And you're starting to realize that there are undercurrents to your placement on the ship that you never noticed before.

Pairing: Pre Commander Neyo x Reader

Word Count: 1557

Warnings: Mentions of stalking, though the reader's largely unaware of it until the end

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: So I'm not sure I hit the vibe for the story, but it didn't feel right for the reader to be so nervous around Neyo and then to jump into a relationship. So this one might have a sequel.

“It’s…um…required, Commander.” You say quietly as you nervously fumble with your datapad, “Republic policy is very clear as to the requirements for any person or group of persons who wish to land on this specific planet.”

Commander Neyo is glaring at you. You know it without looking at him. You can feel the way his glare is burning into your skin. 

“And how long will it take to vaccinate the entire battalion?” He asks, his voice rough.

You flinch at his words, “Um…a couple of hours, maybe?”

Nayo exhales sharply and your grip tightens around your datapad, “Fine. I’ll let the men know. Is there anything else?”

You hesitate, “Um…just that…even after everyone is vaccinated, it’ll take two days before you’ll be allow to land-”

“And why wasn’t this known beforehand?” Neyo snaps at you, and you flinch back, and he exhales slowly, “We’ve known that we were coming here for days, why am I only just hearing about these requirements?”

“I…I told the Admiral-” You trail off.

“Fine.” He pauses, “I’m not going to hit you Doc, you don’t have to flinch whenever I enter the room.”

“I…sorry-” You mumble, and then you hear the sound of him leaving and you slump against your table with a sigh. 

Several months ago, when the war started, the Jedi Order reached out to Doctors Without Borders to get doctors who would be willing to work on warships and with the clone Medics.

You are one such Doctor. After days of background checks, as well as tests to ensure that you’re actually able to work with the clones, you found yourself attached to the 91st.

At first you were pleased.

Being attached to a Recon Battalion meant that you would have plenty of time to look into the increased aging of the clones while ensuring the health and wellbeing of the men and women on the ship as well.

And then you met Commander Neyo.

Cold, distant, and grumpy Commander Neyo. Who seemed offended at your very presence. You walked on eggshells around him, and even then you never seem to do anything right in his eyes.

He’s always picking and poking and prodding until you make a mistake. And then he gives that heavy sigh, like you’re nothing more than a burden on him and his brothers, and then asks you how you intend to fix the problem.

You always can. None of the mistakes that he’s caught, or the ones that you’ve admitted to, have caused harm to anyone on the ship. But he acts like it’s the end of the world.

You thought you were doing the right thing, informing the Admiral about the vaccine requirements for the planet. It’s not your fault that the Admiral ignored your information until you were already in orbit. Right?

Several hours later, you're called into a meeting with General Gallia, Commander Neyo, and the Admiral.

The Admiral, a petty, small minded man with more ego than actual sense, glares at you, and you shift uncomfortably. “Doctor, you should have warned us about the vaccine mandates of this planet.”

You feel a prickle of annoyance, and you quietly attach your datapad to the holo, and bring up the email, detailing that very fact, that you sent him several weeks earlier, “I think you’ll find that I did.”

The Admiral flushes an ugly shade of red, and you have a feeling that if General Gallia and Commander Neyo weren’t there, then he would physically try to hurt you.

Commander Neyo shifts, and you glance up at him as his arm brushes yours, “In any event, we can’t land for another two days, so what’s the play, General?”

Your gaze flickers around the room, from the Commander, who’s standing much closer to you than he normally would, to General Gallia, who has a stern look on her young face, and who is also standing slightly closer to you than normal, and then over to the Admiral, who has gone an unhealthy shade of gray.

And you realize that you must be missing something.

“There’s nothing we can do,” General Gallia says lightly, “Aside from waiting for the time to run out. Has the vaccinations started?”

“Yes ma’am,” You reply, “Everyone will be vaccinated by the end of the day.”

“Splendid.”

“Wait a minute,” The Admiral frowns at you, “How did you learn about the vaccination mandate?”

“Doctors Without Borders created the vaccine to begin with, when the plague first started.” You reply, “We were all vaccinated, just in case it spread to other planets.”

The Admiral’s eyes light up, “So you can go to the planet.”

You pause, and both the Commander and the General tense.

“I…suppose I could.” You say slowly.

“Wonderful, then you can go down first-”

“Absolutely not!”

“She’s a civilian!”

Commander Neyo and General Gallia speak in unison, but the Admiral raises a hand to silence them, “I’m hardly asking her to fight a battle. I’m asking her to go before us and report on the state of the planet.”

You shift uncomfortably, and you start in surprise when a strong hand lands on your shoulder and you’re jerked back behind Commander Neyo, he looks angrier than you’ve ever seen before in your life, and you’re glad that he’s not looking at you like that.

General Gallia looks thunderous, but when she speaks her voice is very calm, “Commander, will you please take the good Doctor and ensure she has what she needs for a trip to the planet?”

“Yes ma’am,” He guides you out of the room, and as soon as the door slides shut, you’re pretty sure you can hear raised voices on the other side of the door.

“Um…”

“We need to get you armor. It’ll have your organization's symbol on it, don’t worry.” His dark eyes scan you, “Do you know how to use a blaster?”

“What? No! Of course not! I mean, I know the theory? I just point and click, right?”

“That’s…not it at all, no.” Neyo replies, he lightly spins you and directs you towards the opposite side of the ship from your lab.

“I’m a doctor. Before all else, do not harm. I don’t need to know how to shoot. Even planets not connected to the Republic don’t fire on Doctors from Doctors without Borders.” You say, “Besides, this planet is peaceful.”

“They were peaceful. They’re not so much anymore.” Neyo takes you down to the armory, and starts looking for armor that might fit you.

You shift, uncomfortable, but somehow not intimidated by his silence, “Commander, what’s going on? It seemed like there was more going on in that room than I was privy to.”

He pauses, “Right. So, long story short, you were assigned to this Battalion at the Admiral’s request. General Gallia did some digging and he’s been a bit…obsessed with you since the start of your career.” He looks at a chest piece he’s holding and then eyes you, before he curses and tosses it to the side, “Apparently the real you isn’t anything like the you he created in his mind, and the General is concerned he might try and harm you.”

“What?” You squeak.

“The General asked me to stick close to you whenever the Admiral is around. He’s afraid of me.” Neyo pauses, and something wry crosses his face, “Of course, you’re also afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid.” You defend yourself immediately, “You just…intimidate me.” 

“Same difference.” He digs around for a moment longer, and something sour crosses his face, “We don’t have anything that will fit you.”

You shift slightly, “I…have armor.” You admit.

“You…what?”

“It’s in my foot locker. We regularly get sent out to war zones, so-” You shrug, “I still don’t know how to shoot a gun, it was never something I needed to know.”

He exhales sharply through his teeth, “I can’t teach you how to shoot a gun well in the time we have. So here are my orders for you.”

“I’m listening.”

“Find someplace safe. A clinic or something. And in two days, I will come and find you.” Neyo says to you.

And the way he says it, you can’t help but to believe him.

“...I thought you hated me.” You admit quietly, “You were always there and always picking and prodding-”

“Whatever feelings I have regarding you, it’s not hate.” His lips curl up into a small smile, “I’m actually impressed by you. I know you’ve been looking into the aging issue whenever you can-”

“It’s why the Jedi called us. Because we care. People don’t join Doctors Without Borders unless they care a whole awful lot about everyone.” You explain with a shrug.

He nods slowly, “I’m beginning to realize that.” Neyo says nothing for a moment, and then he walks over to you and places his hand on your head, “I will come for you. In two days, as soon as I’m able to land on the planet.”

“Okay.”

His hand slides from the top of your head to the back of your neck, “And when we’re back on the ship, we can talk about feelings and shit.” He says with a disgusted scrunch of his nose, “But more importantly than all of that, I don’t want you to be afraid of me anymore.”

“I can try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

[serenadeonacanoe]

Untitled, 2025 (GD x OFC) Chapter 4: Hugs

Pairing: G-Dragon/Kwon Jiyong x OFC Genre/Warnings: Slow Burn, Tour Life, 2014, 2020, 2025, let's add these along the way. More on AO3 -----------------------------------------

January 2025

“So, you have a little crush. What’s the harm?” Julie is my best friend from back home. We’ve known each other since we were seven and even now, years and an ocean apart, we’re still hanging in there. We don’t call as often as we used to, and we definitely don’t see each other enough, but when it comes to the big stuff, the real-life stuff, we’re in each other’s corners. Always. And considering she has two kids under five, I think that’s pretty impressive. Right now, I’m in my hotel room in Paris. It’s 4 AM. I should be asleep, but jetlag has decided to ruin my life. Julie, meanwhile, is getting ready for bed. It’s her daughter’s birthday tomorrow - my goddaughter - and in my sleep-deprived, emotionally fragile state, I wish more than anything that I could be there. Instead, I’m sitting cross-legged on a five-star hotel bed in pyjamas, feeling both glamorous and homesick. Back to the question. What’s the harm in a little crush? In theory, nothing. I agree. In practice? Slightly more complicated. Maybe the fact that I am crushing AGAIN? “Well… there’s the fact that I work with him. Kind of for him. The fact that we were friends once and I don’t really know what we are now. The fact that we already did this before and it didn’t blow up my life, but it also didn’t end particularly well. And… I still don’t feel like I fully know him. He’s constantly changing.” She pauses. I think she’s absorbing the full mess of it all. Then again, maybe she’s just trying to find a diplomatic way to tell me I’m being ridiculous. “People changing isn’t a bad thing, you know, it’s called growth. Maybe it’s not that he’s inconsistent. Maybe he just has layers. People are complex, we just try to make them simple in our head to make sense of them.” Deep. But yeah, she’s right. Why do I expect him to make sense like some cartoon character with a fixed catchphrase and one defining trait? He’s not a hero or a villain. He’s just... complicated. Real. I fidget with the hotel room pen, rolling it between my fingers. “The other points still count, though. Right?” “Only if you’re really still attracted to him, not just charmed. This isn’t just about logic.” “Not still… again. Yeah.” She laughs. I can hear it in her voice - she knows I didn’t want to say that out loud. “You like him?” I pause. Sigh. “Yeah. I like him.” There it is. Out in the open. It makes me feel both lighter and completely stupid. But I’m not going to lie to Julie. Lying to her would take more energy than the entire Paris trip. There’s a moment of quiet on the other end. “No advice?” I ask. She exhales. “Nope. You wouldn’t listen anyway.” That makes me laugh. She’s not wrong. “Just don’t get hurt,” she says, her voice warm but serious. “Or I swear I’ll get on a plane and kick his ass. I may be small, but I’m scrappy.” I grin and sink deeper into the pillows. “I know. But I think he might get scared of you. My money would definitely be on you.”

A few days later, I’m standing backstage, watching rehearsals for the Pièces Jaunes Gala, and I can’t stop smiling. I’m over the jetlag, finally sleeping again, and Paris is doing its magical Paris thing. The schedule is packed - as always - but at least it’s packed in a beautiful city with great pastries. There’s something about this whole trip that feels different. I can’t even explain why, but everyone seems to feel it. Something in the air, maybe. The performance itself is a hit. Viral even. I find myself in an elevator with J-Hope at one point, which feels like a strangely perfect detail in a week of tiny, sparkly wins. All around good, good times. I think people can tell I’m in a good mood. Jiyong definitely does. We’re in the lounge at the airport, waiting for our flight back to Seoul, casually chatting at the bar. We’re mid-laugh over something dumb when he suddenly slides his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. I blink. Freeze. Just a second ago we were exchanging jokes. Now I’m full-on stunned into silence. He notices right away that I’ve gone quiet. “What’s wrong? Can’t I hug you?” “Uhm… not sure? I don’t think we ever have?” His arms are still loosely around my waist. Maybe that’s when it hits him too - that randomly hugging your employee isn’t exactly standard behavior. “Sorry,” he says, backing off a little. “I think the good mood got to me. I didn’t mean to overstep…” He’s about to step away completely when I gently move my hand over his, keeping it in place. Then I wrap both arms around his shoulders and hug him back. “No, it’s fine. It’s good. You’re right. I like it.” My heart is doing the absolute most right now. Not just because of how close we are, but because I actually said that. Out loud. He lets out a soft chuckle, probably because I just made a casual hug sound like a life-altering event. “Because you like hugs?” he teases. “Yes.” I do. But that’s not the whole story. “And because you’re happy?” “Yes.” “And because you think I’m kinda cute?” I take a slow, deep breath. He smells really good. Clean and warm, like laundry and a hairspray that isn’t half bad. Part of my face is tucked into his shoulder and honestly, I want to stay there for a bit. But I know I have to pull away at some point. When I finally look up at him, I nod. “Yes.” He doesn’t smirk. Doesn’t make a joke or get cocky. He actually looks a little shy. And it’s weirdly adorable. Usually, when things get real like this, he covers his face or hides behind a hat or a hoodie or literally anything in arm’s reach. But this time he can’t. His hands are still on me after all. “Good,” he says quietly. “Because I think you’re very cute too.” Just two people in their mid-thirties, standing in an airport lounge, blushing like teenagers over a hug and a couple of sweet words. It’s still nothing. Nothing official, nothing dramatic. I mean… lots of things are cute. Puppies are cute. Ducks are cute. Even some grandmas are cute. Jiyong is.

But this just isn’t the place for… whatever this moment is. And it’s like we both feel that shift at the same time - right when the outside world barges back in with a loudspeaker announcement overhead. We let go. No drama, no awkwardness. Just a quiet little reset. We fall into step and walk back to where the others are waiting like nothing happened. A few minutes later, we head toward the gate. I notice my palms are a little sweaty. Very grown-up of me.

February 2020

It’s a Thursday night but somehow feels like a weekend. The cold is still biting outside but Jiyong’s apartment is warm and softly lit, a little too fancy for how casual everything else is. It’s the first time I’ve been here and I don’t know what I expected, but definitely not floor-to-ceiling windows and a sofa you sink into like it’s made of clouds. The kind of place where you’re scared to spill anything. Or breathe too loud. There’s music playing low somewhere in the background, snacks on the coffee table, someone left a jacket hanging over a designer chair. It’s a mix of comfortable and intimidating. I’m not sure if the others feel the same way, maybe they just don’t show it. Well, I guess some of them have similar apartments.

I’m the odd one out, but in the last couple of weeks, we’ve grown close enough for me not to feel too weird about it anymore. Mostly I forget about it. This apartment just threw me for a little loop.

We’re laughing about something dumb, one of Daesung’s stories maybe, and then someone gets a weird news alert on their phone about that Covid disease. We switch on the TV.

The tone in the room shifts immediately. It’s about that church outbreak, the first one in the city. Shincheonji. That’s the first time the word really sticks. On-screen, there’s footage of people in masks, health officials in hazmat suits, clusters forming. The energy in the room dips.

Cheungha makes a joke about how dramatic the news always is. Something about zombie movies and government overreactions. It’s half funny, half uneasy. Nobody wants to say they’re worried. But I think we all are, a little.

I glance over at Jiyong. He’s leaning back, arms crossed, face unreadable. He hasn’t said a word since the news came on. We don’t talk about it for long. We don’t want to. Someone turns the music back on. The mood resets a little. Not completely, though. I get up and wander into the kitchen to get more drinks, and a few moments later Jiyong follows. He opens the fridge door like it personally offended him. "Why do I have three kinds of sparkling water but no beer?" he mutters. "That's your own fault, Mr. Designer Fridge.” I say, reaching past him to grab a soda. He smirks. "I was trying to look like someone who has their life together." "Well, you fooled me until now." Our fingers brush slightly over a can and he pulls his hand back fast. Too fast for it to be casual. We both look down, then away, then laugh a little. Quietly.

When it’s time to go, we all shuffle into jackets and scarves, saying goodbye in that sleepy, warm way people do when they’ve been together for hours. I hug them all, Daesung, Youngbae, Cheungha. She gives me that extra squeeze she always does.

And then there’s Jiyong. We sort of just look at each other. Smile. I give a little wave that I regret almost immediately. He nods. That’s it. We’ve never really hugged. I don’t know why. Just hasn’t been our thing. And then I guess it was too weird to start. It feels a little awkward now, only because everyone else did. But then again, maybe it would have been awkward if we had. When I leave, I don’t think much more about it.

JIYONG The door clicks shut. The apartment feels too quiet all of a sudden. I walk back into the living room, pick up some half-finished drinks, leave them on the counter. My fingers brush over the throw blanket she had wrapped around her legs and fold it up. It’s still warm.

I let out a slow breath and glance around. She liked the windows. I noticed her staring out for the longest, time like she was seeing Seoul for the first time. Like it was something beautiful. That made me smile. I sometimes forget HOW lucky I am to have this view.

I keep thinking about the way she laughed earlier, how her whole face lit up. How she took the deepest breath when the news came on. How she hugged the others goodbye. How her eyes landed on me at the door and stayed there just a second too long.

I thought about hugging her too. Just a quick one. Casual. But I didn’t. I didn’t know how. Not with her. Not anymore.

It’s not really about her, though. It’s me. It always has been. Since I came back from the military. Since what happened to the band. Since all of it. I used to be good at this. At being close. I liked hugs. And I think I liked her. Now I’m not sure I remember how.

[dallasgallant]

Time period post: Terminology and technology

This started as quick and easy smaller one but it’s sort of diverged into subsections, anyways… this’ll be on some of the existing technology and terminology of them time. There was actually a far bit more than you’d assume.

Let’s start terminology wise. “Refrigerated air” is still one of my favorites that I’ve discovered, it basically means that a building is air conditioned! HUGE! NEW THING! It was being added to motels, businesses - homes eventually etc. so a motel being “Refrigerated air, color Tv, swimming pool” is a really damn nice place. Now days motels seem to be looked down upon but they’ve always been a huge part of the culture, especially when cars were new and big and the height of road trips back in the 1950s-60s. (Howard Johnsons , holiday inn etc) this was also the height of roadside attractions/tourist traps think ‘worlds largest’ anything, Route 66 (before it crumped into the remains of today)

~

Another terminology heavy thing is Schooling,

Back in the day it was much more common to hear “Primary school” in America than it is now an alternative is Grammar school - both of which being daycare-Elementary. Then “junior high” was more common than Middle school

But in a smaller town it’s also common to have more than one if not all of these schools and grade levels shoved into one huge building.

Corporal punishment- hitting students, was still a thing. (Also the argument of basically student rights/are people when it came to anti war protest in high schools)

Desegregation of schools began.

Schools also started later in the morning but still got out at a decent time; this changed in the 1980s

~

As for general terminology a lot of slang is still used today that was introduced in the 60s, I’d recommend looking it up but for JD specific stuff I do have a post up!

It’s also important to recognize some of their language would be outdated… not actively out to harm but they wouldn’t have knowledge of language 50+ years in the future etc. (like how a lot of older phrases or words have become offensive etc)

~

As for technology, a lot was changing too. The computer was still new and huge— spanning rooms as this huge mechanical thing that was going to get man to the moon. Still far from being in homes. However, still a lot of neat stuff and gadgets for people to play with.

The 60s are really the height of what we’d now consider “Retrofuturism” with how maybe one day they’ll be huge video screens and transporters and video watches and world peace etc. there was a obsession with progress and innovation in a very optimistic way.

Though if you wanted to transport your music (and weren’t going to carry a huge ass record player around) you have small portable radios but also hand/shirt pocket ones as well. I can’t speak to sound quality …

Phones were still on the wall or on the table. Color tv was slowly being adopted in households across the country— but still pretty $$$ a lot of people would be sticking with B&W even if tv and movies were making the more permanent switch.

So uh fun fact about cars. It wasn’t until 1968 models came out that seatbelts were standard and required. It’s more than likely the boys cars don’t have seatbelts. (They were invented in the late 50s and it sort of depended)

Bench seats were also super common so it didn’t matter which side of a car you got into as you could just slide across. You can see where this only adds to teen car culture- make out points, drive ins with some uh backseat bingo (actual term! Lmao)

[heartss4matthewq]

COULDVE BEEN (c.s)

warnings: angst, fluff, self harm

summary: you and chris grew up in Somerville together. when you guys grow up things change. chris isn’t the same.

(at the beginning yall are kids)

—————————

*FLASHBACK*

“chris stopp” you said as he kept tickling your sides

“oh my gosh get over it y/n/n” chris said laughing

you and chris always got along when you were younger.

chris was the only person who understood you. sure, nick & matt loved you and you loved them. they weren’t chris though.

your guys’ parents used to joke that you and chris would get married one day.

“i have a surprise..close your eyes, okay?” chris said jumping off of the small porch you were sitting on

“chriss what is ittt!!” you exclaimed, excited to see what he had planned

“you’ll see” you can hear the autumn leaves crunching around you

you’ve been walking for 3 minutes and still have no clue what hes doing.

“okay were here” he stops you in the middle of the ground. “open”

the smell of old rain fills your nose.

you open your eyes and see chris on one knee next to a big tree with a strawberry ring pop.

“will you marry me mrs. y/n/l/n” chris says, a cheesy smile on his face.

“yes!” you say puckering your lips jokingly

chris puts the ring on your pointer finger.

“wanna go play on the swings y/n sturniolo?”

“that’s not my last name chris” you say smirking

“we’re married so now it is, you know how your moms last name is your dads? well yeah that’s how it works”

“oh okay”

*TIME SKIP*

chris has been gone for who knows how long.

the last time you saw him was in high school and you miss him like hell.

him & his brothers have blown up in their career on youtube since then.

you guys tried to stay in contact but it didn’t work.

you knew chris’ busy schedule so you didn’t blame him for getting distant.

although what no one did know, was that you and chris were “talking”

now, chris was not a player

chris had commitment issues & this hurt you a lot.

📞

“hii chris”

“hey.”

“um are you okay why do you sound annoyed?”

“yeah im cool just trying to chill right now”

“okay, when do you wanna make things official?”

“not soon because of my work and stuff like that”

“oh okay”

“yeah i’ll talk to you later though im gonna go film”

“okay have fun love you”

“mhm”

📞

you shut off your phone and put your face in your hands.

you started bawling not knowing why chris was like this.

one day he’d love you the next he would be so dry and barely talk to you.

why did he pretend you were something, you guys were nothing.

as you picked yourself off the floor you went and grabbed a razor blade.

you slid it over your wrist a couple times before putting it down and laying on your bed.

this was a new thing that chris never knew about & he would never find out.

as you laid there, you scrolled through chris’ instagram, and wow he looked happy but here you are sad and alone.

if chris knew what you had become since he left he’d-

slam.

“y/n?” chris exclaimed from downstairs

a million thoughts came through your mind.

“why is he here? when did he get back from LA? what if he sees me like this?

before you could even think about throwing the razor blade away he opened your door.

“chris wai-“ you said about to start crying again

“y/n. what is that?”

—————————

omg i’m so sorry if that triggered anyone. i made sure to put warnings and i hope this was good!! also this is a series.

[lythea-creation]

Expectations - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 1)

summary: Being the only child of a prestiged father, (f/n) always has to worry about her image. Only Shams can completely take that burden off her shoulders for a while.

warnings: none

word count: 1.087

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? No

------------------------

“Hey (f/n)!”, Tasneem greeted me as I was sitting on my seat and getting out my stuff. “I can't believe we're in the same class.”

I smiled at her and took a sip of water.

“So what do you think? Wanna make another tiktok together? The last one kinda blew up. Our followers seem to love it”, she noted.

“Sure”, I agreed. “But I'm meeting up with Omar later. So we gotta do it in the break.”

“Of course! Girl, I'm so jealous! Omar's literal boyfriend goals”, she declared.

“Make your move then”, I encouraged her.

“You're still just friends? Come on! Why?”, she wondered.

“Why not?”, I shot back. “Just because he's a decently hot guy and we've literally known each other for ages doesn't mean we have to become a couple.”

“It basically does though”, she claimed.

I had to suppress a groan at her statement. Why did everybody have to insist on that?

“Oh. Hitchcock's in our class”, Hiba announced as Shams entered the classroom.

Anger bubbled up inside of me. All I wanted to do was to stand up for Shams, but we had settled on avoiding each other at school as it might harm my image to be seen with her.

Luckily the topic shifted quickly when Sarah started talking to Tasneem.

So I decided to get a head start and began studying. After all I needed to keep up my good grades this term.

When the first day after the holidays was finally over, I could not wait to get to my favorite siblings.

I walked for a few minutes until I reached the meeting point where Shams picked me up with her bicycle.

“Ready to get home?”, she inquired with a grin.

“You have no idea”, I shot back and hurried onto the saddle.

I could easily not hold on without falling off, but I definitely would not waste this opportunity to hold onto Shams tightly, daring to lean against her.

“You're really pushing your luck, (f/n)”, she complained teasingly.

She was always claiming that she could not focus on keeping us driving when I was this close.

When we entered her home, the first thing we did was getting us a glass of ice water. It had somehow become a ritual whenever I came over because we used to stay out in the sun for far too long when we were kids, obviously dehydrating in the process.

Suddenly Omar walked into the kitchen as well.

“Why aren't you wearing a shirt?”, Shams questioned, frowning at her brother's naked upper body.

“I just came out of the shower”, he enlightened us.

An idea popped up in my mind and I could not help but act on it.

Before Omar realized what was happening I had fished and ice cube out of my glass and slipped it into his pants.

“Ah, you little ...”, he screamed out and jumped around due to the coldness. It was a hilarious sight and Shams breaking out in laughter was absolutely worth it.

“You're so gonna regret this”, he threatened me as soon as he got back to his senses.

I did not hesitate to run away as he was chasing me.

“Help”, I called out.

Of course, Shams supported me and made her brother trip over her foot, leading him to stumble to the ground.

“That's so not fair”, he grumbled and stayed down.

I exchanged a glance with Shams, who shook her head no.

After a while I warily approached Omar, feeling slightly guilty for pranking him and then teaming up against him. But that immediately changed when he took a hold of my ankle, then my wrist. He had caught me.

“(f/n), you're too naive sometimes”, Shams noted.

Before any of us could stop him, he grabbed my glass and emptied it over my head. Several ice cubes plus water as revenge for one.

“Omar!”, I cursed. “Have you gone crazy? Shit!”

Now he was the one laughing and out of the corner of my eyes I recognized that Shams was barely holding in her laughter as well.

“Oh no! You don't get to laugh at me”, I exclaimed and enveloped her in a hug.

“Ugh, guys! I didn't even do anything”, she reminded us as her clothes were soaked now.

“You just watched”, I remarked.

“Which you didn't complain about when you were the culprit”, she pointed out.

“Of course”, I agreed.

After a few seconds we all started laughing again. None of us could hold a grudge against each other for long.

“Let's get some dry clothes”, Shams suggested and pulled me to her room.

“Hey! I thought you were gonna hang out with me”, Omar interjected.

“You don't seriously expect me to stay like this”, I shot back.

“You can take my clothes”, he offered desperately.

“What's your problem?”, Shams wondered, still not letting go of my hand.

“Well … I may be her best friend, but you're her girlfriend. I know you both too well. As soon as she enters your room I'll be forgotten for at least the next hour”, he assumed.

“We're not THAT bad”, I claimed.

“How many stories do I need to tell you?”, he questioned.

“Okay, okay. We got it”, Shams stopped him. “She'll be right back.”

When we arrived in her room, Shams got some clothes for me and herself and then disappeared in the bathroom.

“Why are you doing that to me?”, I whined.

Hope was filling me when she opened the door, but she closed it again after throwing a towel in my face.

Defeated I began drying myself off and putting her clothes on. The fact that they were a bit too big for me was making it even more comfortable.

“I promised Omar we wouldn't take long”, Shams finally answered while getting out of the bathroom.

“I will let him wait a bit longer though”, she declared and pulled me into a passionate kiss that almost turned into a serious make-out session.

“Now go or I'll keep you”, she warned me.

I was just as reluctant to go as she was to let me. But I knew she was right. I was hanging out with Omar today, not with Shams. It would not be fair to let him down.

-------------------------

Next Chapter

Well ... I planned to write a Oneshot, but I couldn't help it and now I'm turning it into a series. Yeah, I know! Another Shams series ... I can't help myself. She's my favorite after all!

I hope you like the first chapter. Feel free to send me suggestions if you have any.

Btw I absolutely love that picture of Shams!

Tag List: @sunwoniie

[rudysbabymama]

I just think its awful how people believe everything. Elaine did some things in past that are not okay, but she apologized. She is now posting so much stuff about Palestine, the protest, literally everything. People dug into her past once she was with rudy just to ruin her. What is the point. Someone wrote she yelled at rudy and everyone will believe it, where is the video, where do you see she yelled at him. She did some bad stuff but there is no point into dugging in her past just to ruin her and blame for everything. Its gross to blame someone like she made rudy leave. No one will ever know, everyone just assumed this, that and so. No wonder why rudy doesnt post anything cuz he is only getting the hate, even when he posts the person he choose, he is in love with. Have some respect yall. People on twitter are ugly with those stuff they are writing. She apologized and yet its stil not enough, yet yall think she uses him. What happened on set of obx no one will ever know and thats it. And the video of elaine cheating isnt real. It was brought up before and they adressed it, later someone actually found that video was fake, in that it means it was not elaine. Someone adressed it. People just like to bring it up to try ruining their lives. Imagine how they feel when everyday they are hating on rudys choices. I trully hope he lives peaceful life with her to the end. She always take good photos, and no rudy and her friends arent the only ones she is photographing. She finds someone else, photographs them and they stay in good contact. I love them both. And like you said dont disrespect her hut dont hate on her too. Its awful like that. No one deserves it, if you dont like her block her, dont follow her. People are getting really awful today. Like others are gold, people just like to find one person and hate. Gross

You are partially right. Fans shouldn’t have done that but she shouldn’t have done those things in social media and she wouldn’t have a problem. She only apologized for the racist things, she never apologized for manipulating a 15 year old fan, she never apologized for using rudy in the beginning. She did those things but never said she was sorry. The difference between me and people in twitter is I don’t go calling her names or calling her ugly and hating her looks. I also don’t hate her for dating Rudy I dislike her for making jokes about Nazis and Jews, I dislike her because she didn’t apologize for her homophobia, I dislike her because she was in her mid 20s manipulating a 15 year old fan to post good things about her then when the can didn’t want to she and her sister harassed her. Yes she is doing good now but what she did still shows her bad behavior and how she acts to other people. She literally manipulated a minor. A 15 year old girl who was tricked into posting good things about her then got harassed when she didn’t want to. You’re right if you don’t like Elaine don’t follow her, good thing i don’t follow her. I don’t even look at her instagram unless I see a new post of rudy in here. She may have changed her political views but that doesn’t mean her behavior has necessarily changed. She mocked someone with self harm issues, she made a beer pong joke about Jews and Nazis, she manipulates people, she didn’t apologize for in the beginning use rudy for fame and clout to put herself out there. Just because she apologized for a small proportion of things doesn’t mean she’s actually sorry. She could have just said sorry so people stopped. She could have never meant she was sorry.

I don’t like Elaine, I really never will. Yes she does good things that’s nice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a good person. She’s doing a good thing but that doesn’t instantly make her a great person.

I don’t like her so I don’t follow her, I also don’t constantly post about her. I post every now and then when I get asks about her and when I do post I’m not degrading her or her looks. I talk about her actions.