#no flats on this one bc i think theyre ugly
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hearts401 · 8 months ago
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meepers
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sojutrait · 2 years ago
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its a long one lads
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( @aomi-nabi ) THANK U AAAAAAAAA ur asks always make my day omg 😭😭❤❤❤
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THE WALK WITH ME IS SENDING ME KFKJFDGFGK so far we’ve also canonized him death dropping so i can really see his ass doing both-
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nothings going on dw ive just been busy dkfjdfk 😭😭
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TYYYY RIGHT BACK AT U MWAHH
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( @deathbypufferfish ) death by pufferfish . com 
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( @astralsi ) I CAME BACK JUST FOR U MAMA MWAAAHHH 🤧🤧❤❤❤
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( @lava-nder ) ngl my sims rarely even interact with townies made by the game kfgjfk 😭😭 if i do notice my sim getting close to a townie (.ie nadine or josh) THEN i’ll give them a makeover, but other than that i just ignore them or put in my own townies kdfjk as for lots, i just build my own or place down any new ones once i realize ive been to a lot too many times and want to switch it up
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GATIA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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REAL i love oshin sm omg, been with her since her get famous lp 😌
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( @lake-lunvik ) YOU ARE SUCH A HORNDOG LIO SDJFKDFJKF
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HELPPPFKFDK im not surprised, during homelandertrait halloween takeover i was ready to lose some followers 😭😭😭
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( @mmusicalwhims ) thank u so much !! 🤧❤❤❤❤ i should bring back that username tbh it was kinda iconic KDFJKFD
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( @wildmeadowsims ) (link) AAAAAAA I SAW im not really a concert person but im excited to see everyones recording of it dkfjfkfkg and i heard she was adding more international dates eventuallly so fingers crossed !!!
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ive never had that problem god bless KFDJK but i think u can turn off auto mean interactions with mcc so theres a temporary solution 
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the randomize button is my beloved 
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THIS ASK MADE ME GET OFF MY ASS AND FINALLY ORDER A MIC SO SOON IF I DONT PUSSY OUT DKJFKGF
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( @velvet-disc ) TYYYY take them, they’re too much for me to handle anyways 🗿
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( @25dejulho ) it depends on the save, but usually i start in another simmers save (my faves are ratboysims and simlicys), either build a house or find a shell off the gallery and decorate it myself, make a fam, then make some townies, give them all skills, careers, etc. just so theyre not like- newborns THEN start playing dkfjk its hella overkill and takes hours but thats how i do it 😭😭😭 tbh u dont even gotta do all that, u can just start in the aforementioned saves by other simmers and start ur own sims from scratch dkfjfgkj
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( @catladyfinds ) hi!! i try to keep my cheating pretty minimal, but theres no like- hard fast rules i do. i never cheat money just bc i think its boring for my sims to be hella rich skfjkgfgk but at the same time, if they have to pee and the toilet is 3 stories up then ill just say fuck it and cheat it 😭😭 so my rule is pretty much, quick lil cheating of needs is fine, but nothing that would make the game too easy or unrealistic 
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currently its cas and gameplay! but im hoping to get bit by the building bug again bc i have some ideas dkffkfg
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aaahhh, idk really i get hella attached to 90% of the sims i make instantly 😭
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( @chlosimly ) TYYYYY 😭😭😭❤❤ its all the cc makers not me KFDJKF
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(referring to the non-canon halabi death i overruled) SEE its so depressing and dark i dont even wanna say it 😭😭😭 ITS OKAY, THAT TIMELINE NEVER HAPPENED I INTERVENED 
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see i take offense to this bc the charm family is ugly as hell 🥴🥴
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thank you!!! 😭😭❤❤❤
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HELP i dont want to be too annoying so i try to keep the soju shut up posts to a minimum but im glad u like them 😭😭❤❤ im a chronic complainer so theres more where that came from dkfkff
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i didnt wanna use her last name in the tag in case she got married and changed it 😭😭 same kinda with her first name, lord knows i cant resist family gameplay so i wanted something that could still work if i ever post from her future kids pov!
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THE WAY THAT POST IS STILL FLAGGED TOO UGHHH
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( @starterflowers​ ) thank u so much !! i also think hes pretty awesome kfdkfgk u have a great day/night as well ! 💕💕💕
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*jumps then falls flat on my ass*
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in theory 😌
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REAL i need him as an actual tangible person i can slap around (affectionately) 
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i dont think its a specific part, more so just trying to make someone who doesnt look bland 😭😭 if a sim is too cookie cutter ik i wont feel any emotion for them kfkgfk
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i actually liked how evermore/folklore had no hype! the surprise made the whole thing more special, like i lookback at those releases fondly dkjfkd now- yeah she def overhyped midnights 🗿🗿🥴🥴 this roll out has been so lackluster and so help me god if we get another anti-hero remix im gonna snap 
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booblywooblies · 2 months ago
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idk why im thinking about this
but when i was a kid i really hated that people always immediately thought my hair was black. when i was in like kindergarten we were doing a thanksgiving pretend game or something and we had these little pilgrim masks and one of the girl ones had brown hair and one had grey hair and the other kids made me be the grey hair one bc black hair is closer to grey than brown and i threw a FIT
i was like crying and i was like my hair ISNT BLACK ITS DARK BROWN (bc like, grey hair = old = ugly, saying i had black hair meant they were saying i was ugly)
and for some reason ive kind of fixated on my hair color ever since? and its a bit confusing because sometimes when you look at it it genuinely looks black and other times it genuinely looks brown, and my eyebrows are clearly just black but theyre slightly darker than the rest of my hair
and i only really actually noticed recently that my hair is actually BOTH brown and black, like if you pull two different hairs out of my head they may be different colors from each other, i have like a mixed hair color
this is like the weirdest thing to have a complex about, i grew up exlusively around like very blonde white people and like idve already been a little different if i was just a regular brunette but the fact that i wasnt even a WHITE brunette like destroyed me self esteem wise for some reason, i used to feel like such a weirdo for looking so different, even compared to people in my own family
i also used to like pull at my eyes to try to make them "bigger" and i really wished i had green eyes and freckles growing up
the eye pulling thing is kinda funny now bc like, my eyes have never been small and i didnt know what actually made my eyes different from other people, tbh most people probably wouldnt even think i have "asian eyes" (i just have epicanthal folds but thats not even unique to asians) and i really didnt understand what about my facial features even made me "look" asian
i think i saw my face in profile for the first time like, AS AN ADULT and it really hit me like, oh thats probably why people clock me as different/off all the time, i had no idea my face was so flat (old pic)
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and now i live in a way more diverse place and people arent automatically suspicious about my appearance (though sometimes they are, i still get "what are you"d a lot) and its honestly kind of jarring, like people at the grocery store used to fucking STARE at me trying to figure out what i am or what i was doing there
and i mean people will probably start doing that again here for trans reasons but its been nice on one hand to not have to deal with that for a bit! ive got other problems here like people forget im a POC at all or think im "not a real asian" bc theyre used to full blooded asians and it kind of invalidates all my experiences. also its kinda funny that i can write that many words just about the little insecurities i had about looking different growing up that doesnt even come close to the extent of how people actually TREATED me. but i will probably just do that another time, its hard to get away from even though its almost entirely in the past for now.)
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skeetusmcyeetus · 4 years ago
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I’ve making headcanons about all of my hyper fixations for a while now and just dumping them on my friends so I’m gonna also dump them here.
If you’re into All For the Game , My Hero Academia, ATLA, The Raven Cycle stay fuckn tuned my doods bc I have a loooot of stuff rattling around my empty skull.
Not all of these are 100% mine some of them are already pretty popular and I’m expanding on them or I heard something similar and edited it to my own tastes
I’ll separate them by series,,,
Theres like one canon that’s mildly nsfw
TW: drug abuse
Mha/Bnha
pro hero kirishima’s Red Riot™️ merch is insanely size inclusive bc he wants fatgum to be able to wear the hoodie that kiri’s pr team sent him but that’s not all,,
If he wasn’t super gay and in love with Bakugou he’d be very Into BBWs so again his merch is super size inclusive bc he wants everyone to be able to wear it
The company that makes the merch also takes requests for special made merch for people who’s quirks interfere with a “normal” size or dimension
ALSO ,,,,this man(kiri) is built like a fuckn MACK TRUCK OKAY he is 6’7” and cannot fit through doorways without ducking and turning a little to the side ,,, he is broad And still wears no shirt™️ ,,, this being said ,, bakugou is still around 5’8” and pretty slim don’t get me wrong he’s extremely strong and toned but he’s not huge,, it makes flying easier if he stays a little lighter ,,,,,,, the point is,, sometimes kiri will pick up bakugou with one arm and bakugou can’t even pretend to hate it anymore
Also,,,, fatgum has to use special pens and keyboards because of how big his hands are,,, he’s literally 8’2” I won’t take criticism on this
Fatgum actually loves wearing red riot and sun eater merch
Allmight and Inko start dating and one day when they’re out someone comments on how much all might “looks like a skeleton” and she absolutley lets loose on them for being so vapid and shallow and how “he’s risked his life to save people like you more times than you have ever even thought about being helpful in your life and it would serve you well to treat someone who’d die for you without even knowing you with more respect”
All might had to gently pull her away bc the guy was crying and she wasn’t anywhere near finished with him
Midnight is Asexual and aggressively pretends to be horny on main™️ because for one, it works with her quirk and two, nothing sells better than sex especially when you’re a woman.
Bakugou and kirishima use sign language to talk shit at Public events
Dabi is addicted to painkillers because he’s been on them his entire life,, he wakes up with the shakes and sometimes toga has to help him take his meds in the morning because he’s already in withdrawal
Tensei was the first one to realize that iida was autistic and immediately did copious amounts of research on ASD and how to be a good brother to him
ATLA
sokka grows his hair as long as Zuko’s (except the sides obvi) and sometimes he’ll wear his hair in the fire nation top knot and zuko loses it every time
Azula gets help and now sometimes when she wakes up with the sun after a night of fitful sleep she goes to the courtyard to have tea with iroh. They never talk, but then again they never need to.
Sometimes after a hard day sokka falls asleep in the bathtub and wakes up to zuko warming the water back up and washing his hair for him
Suki lounges in zukos throne while zuko gets worked up about stuff and paces all around the room
Mai is on the ace spectrum
When sokka and zuko visit the southern water tribe zuko will firebend for the all of the kids in the village,,, they love him so much and sometimes sokka gets a little teary eyed watching him
Sokka braids zukos hair water tribe style and it’s the hottest thing maybe ever
Zuko takes sokka on shopping sprees pretty frequently and sokka fuckn loves it
One time someone has the nerve to call sokka “the fire lords sugar baby” and sokka just flips his ponytail over his shoulder Ariana style and says “and what about it?”
The Raven cycle
Ronan has 100% killed Robert Parrish in his dreams and when he wakes up to see Adam next to him he almost immediately wants to go back to sleep and do it again for all the pain he’s caused Adam
Gansey is oblivious to the fact that he is indeed shredded,, when he gets really worked up he moves his arms a l o t like rolls up his sleeves, crosses and uncrosses his arms and The gang’s favorite is when he puts his hands on his head and subconsciously flexes,,,, literally entire gangsey will group swoon at him and he genuinely thinks they are marvelling at his passion for whatever he’s worked up about
Ronan watched broke back mountain once when he was like 16 and now all he can think about is being a gay cowboy ,,,
Adam will read people’s tarot wrong if theyre douchebags
Don’t you think it’s funny that the ganseys don’t have any straight children?
Blue has a T-shirt from each member of the gangsey (except Noah,, rip Noah) and shes created a terrible Franken-T-shirt by ripping them up and sewing them all back together in an extremely ugly patch work thing
Adam talks in Latin in his sleep and it really freaks his roommate out,, like a lot,, not to mention the fact that Adam already creeps him out to begin with bc he’s got that other vibe that comes from being tied to cabeswater and lindenmere ,, 6 out of 7 days his roommate is convinced that he’s a witch or a fairy or something
Ronan teaches opal how to bake and opal burns everything on purpose
aftg
Neil has definitely killed multiple people to survive
Neil’s mom definitely made him kill someone at least twice to make sure he could kill to survive on his own if they got separated
he probably definitely still has nightmares about each one
Matt and Dan both had a crush on Neil for like 30 seconds and absolutely talked to each other about him
Ppl always talk about how hot it is to crush a watermelon with your thighs,,,, Andrew could do it with his arms
Aarons ass is so flat and Andrew has an absolute dumptruck
Kevin started out as one of those annoying “obsessed with WWII” history guys and now he’s actually very into queer history and will rant about the lavender scare for an hour if you let him
The foxes lounge room(?) has a dart board with riko’s face on it to this day,, they literally have a drawer full of copies the same image of riko and every time one gets worn out they put a new one up. It’s more of an inside joke now but wymack still hates that little puke even though he’s dead so it stays up
Post-canon Neil gets drunk and teaches the team how to steal a car by hot wiring Matt’s truck
Matt does drag for halloween one year and Dan liked it a little too much *cough cough* she pegged him while he was still in drag
Someone once asked Renee if she was “saving herself for marriage like a good Christian girl should” and Allison knocked them out cold and stepped over the body
Neil calls Aaron ugly to his face literally any chance he gets (I feel like this one might be canon but I actually don’t know What’s real anymore)
Andrew Unironically wears a pink apron that says “kiss the cook” that Nicky got him for Christmas when he bakes
Okay I think that’s it ? For now?? Let me know if y’all want more,,,,, I’ll separate them next time I just really had to dump these and I didn’t want to make multiple posts.
I made this at 5:30 in the morning sorry if it’s riddled with typos and errors.
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heyitsyn · 4 years ago
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Manager!Seijoh Part 3
a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!
also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
combined two anon requests:
- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?
- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)
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MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA
oof girl the world is ending
so basically,,,,,
the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor
tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?
you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting
lmao couldnt be me
your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything
hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions
it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better
but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger
this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you
it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there
like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them
maybe this was what fueled others on more
your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh
this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction
however,,,,
today,,,
this morning,,,,
at 7:53 AM,,,,
they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying
um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT
EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS
ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM
!!!!!
and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school
it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away
when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’
kyoken was already advancing to you
yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you
‘-and she destroyed my sheets’
you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes
how can someone laugh so beautifully?
like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy
‘oh god, i wasnt-’
you were cut off with a hand that held your arm
you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts
he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong
‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’
he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse
just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger
‘toshi i have to-’
then you were cut off again
‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’
‘OIKAWA-SAN!’
‘OIKAWA!’
‘CAPTAIN!’
from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain
‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’
oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away
most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares
‘oh, its you’
kunimi grumbled
‘kunimi, whats happening?’
hitoshi questioned
you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi
‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’
you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you
‘yep. ill see you later then’
‘bye’
you softly said and he turned to walk away
but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes
‘boys, what was that?’
you gritted out
‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’
he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi
they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up
‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’
you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies
‘sorry, y/n-chan’
oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands
‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’
‘sorry’
you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class
‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’
‘yes’
they chorused and you nodded, satisfied
‘ill hold you to it!’
you shouted as you walked down the hallway
when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms
‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’
‘oi stop it, shittykawa’
but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well
kunimi sighed
‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’
and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?
nuh uh, dont think so, francisco
from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know
and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him
this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else
during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him
‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’
but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation
so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said
‘shittykawa get off my back!’
‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’
‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’
yall what
mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to 
no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking
kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class
they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened
you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense
the coaches even looked confused
‘did you guys fight?’
you questioned but no one answered
kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor
the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side
the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off 
overall just not seijoh babie vibes
i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨
‘hey’
you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on
‘oikawa-san, what happened?’
‘are you dating him now, y/n?’
the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise
your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting
but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you
‘dating,,,? dating who?’
you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows
‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’
oikawa hissed
‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’
he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut
‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’
he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go
you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples
‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’
no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out
a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him
‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’
you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest
‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’
the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side
‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’
‘IWA-SAN!’
you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first
iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously
‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’
you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly
‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’
the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat
but oikawa was the most offended
‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’
he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face
you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others
‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’
kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you 
‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’
‘stay as ours forever, okay?’
you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs
but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that
so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch
‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’
you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours
‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’
oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back
‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’
practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created 
but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only
i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem
after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction
‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’
you rolled your eyes
‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’
they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them
as you were both walking, you looked up at him
‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’
‘hah?’
he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks
you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly
‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’
but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist
thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt
‘k-kyo-san?’
bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him
he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?
so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck
‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’
he just grunted and you laughed
he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world
yuhhhhh get it kyo
‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’
you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face
it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered
he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks
your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side
‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’
you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes
‘i-i do?’
you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you
maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in 
but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks
‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’
he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out
you felt his lips move and you laughed
‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’
but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school
it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years
‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’
he shouted in betrayal
you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain
‘mine’
again, do you know what happened next?
oikawa screamed
this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)
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masked-puppetmaster · 3 years ago
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hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red
yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)
I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing
with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers
& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context
I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character
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tigerdrop · 4 years ago
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dogboy gordon rutting against benreys leg in the same way that benrey did it in the reverse. benrey encouraging him and also making fun of him in the same breath. yummy brain thoughts. i am rotating this
jesus christ i started thinking about dogboy gordon and have not stopped thinking. theres 7k words of dogboy stuff under here im going insane
how in the. help. Help. dog boy. how does he become dogboy. i cant keep giving these idiots potions but i guess thats what ive been reduced to
gman turns him into a dog boy. walks thru a portal and comes out in nintendogs but hes the dog and when he comes back out again hes still a little bit dogy. this is fucking stupid
THE TAIL WAGGING im going to pass away
> i think he would have such fucking issues with the fact that his tail and ears are expressing his emotions so much
trying to act angry towards benrey but hes given away by his tail wagging like crazy......and he never even knows its happening until somebody points it out
it would be cool if. um. he got a little more into roughhousing and rough play afterward. you know. like a . hes already really handsy......physical. . .. .
> okay like the anger turning into somewhat-serious jostling and pushing which turns into roughhousing
its not even horny at first it just gives him the weirdest fucking endorphins. like. its fucking fun man
> and by the time theyre roughhousing his tail is wagging furiously and like thumping on the floor when he gets pinned haha
> YES its about the exhilaration ......he gets this rush from flipping benrey over after he's pinning him, baring his teeth triumphantly
benrey pinning him by his wrists and half-laughing at him like "what the fuck is wrong with you??" and the rest of the science team chimes in like YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS WHAT WAS THAT
> gordon comes back to himself and turns red immediately and splutters like "i dont know! what - im just - benrey started it!” so like he refuses to do it again but then benrey pushes his buttons and he gets in his face, ears pinned back a bit and shoves him and benreys like oh...so its this again huh...
GOD......PUSHING HIS BUTTONS.......its sooo much fun now that gordons so physically reactive too
> what if he manages to get an honest to god growl out of gordon at one point and it makes something ugly twist in benrey's gut and he wants to make it happen again
and its probably really gratifying for him to see just how often gordons tail wags when gordon looks at him or snorts at one of his jokes
TWO SIDES
> the duality of their relationship....gordons tail wagging just a bit when hes looking at benrey though im
> im thinking about the growling though like...benrey gets fixated on how he fucking sounds, all deep and rumbly and this intensity just focused on benrey only....makes him think about how that would look in other contexts....
> benrey riling him up while their roughousing so he can feel that growl travel through his chest and like...getting gordon to that point makes him SO determined to win the "fight" over benrey hes almost a bit out of his mind with it......pins benrey and subconsciously ruts against him a bit as a sign of dominance....please stop me now goodbye....
NO LITERALLY THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT I STARTED TYPING
prodding gordon further and further and riling him up until gordon pins him to the floor, hard, an arm jammed behind his back and his HEV suit jammed up against benreys ass and rutting subconsciously as gordon. h. gordon. clamps down on the back of his neck and growls
benrey sucks in a rattling gasp and is like "what? ow" in a weirdly shocked yet distanced way
he cant feel where gordons hard b/c of the HEV suit but he can feel the metal awkwardly bumping against his ass Like That. and inwardly benreys on a loop of "what the fuck what the fuck" but not in a bad way in the slightest. just utterly cannot believe this is whats happening, right now, gordon freeman dry humping his ass behind a bunch of crates, not 100 feet from the rest of the science team
> gordon snapping out of it and being like...what the fuck am i doing... or....maybe the gasp makes gordon bite down harder in response...not sure
> gordon not even realizing hes doing it until that moment is so great....i dont know but....maybe he lets go and pushes off benrey, panting and wild eyed, and the image of benrey on his stomach, his bite mark in his neck, is burned into his brain
> he just doesnt say fucking anything and just dips to get jacked off by the suit maybe.... cant stop thinking about how it felt to see benrey with his teeth marks....hates himself for feeling that sick satisfaction in his chest
benrey......touching the back of his neck afterwrds, kind of dream-like, both consciously and subconsciously.......
i like making gordon freeman suffer so i want him to just angrily try to rut against his arm in private later trying desperately to get off thru this stupid busted HEV suit that he cant get out of. pathetic. gordon freeman humping his own fucking arm in a bathroom stall. like a dog
and he thinks about how benrey smelled when he had his teeth clamped on the back of benreys neck, his nose buried right against benreys jaw and neck, smelling the sweat and the hormones and feeling benreys rapid heartbeat, and his whole fucking head throbs with how bad he wants to get off
> and he just cant get off....has to deal with going back the team tense and a bit sweaty and just move on when they ask what happened. benrey doesnt say anything just stares at him and gordon cant meet his eyes. gordon tries not to fucking let benrey get under his skin cause i think hes probably mad upset and embarassed that he reverted to his like,,,more base instincts because of BENREY of all people.....
> but he still thinks about it sometimes and....he tries to distance himself from him but hes still a pretty touchy guy and he find himself around benrey still....laughing at his jokes and getting in his space once in a while. always pulls himself away when he notices but not before he takes in a deep breath of benrey's scent...
> meanwhile benreys trying to think of how to make gordon do that shit again LOL
ohmy god. oh my god.....before this.....before he tries to stop getting in benreys business and before he even recognizes what hes doing.......he like.....hes so touchy feely that he subconsciously tries to mark benrey a lot. like just doing everything in his power to rub the inside of his wrists somewhere on him. even if its barely gonna do anything b/c of the suit. its just instinct
> NOW HE ...now he realizes that he was doing that the whole time..jesus,...
> AUGH....in the buildup before this he didnt realize that he was doing it........but now he realizes he fucking misses doing that shit and kind of berates himself for doing it in the first place....like what the fuck....be Normal gordon...you cant want to fuck him....do you..?
i want him to. grrgohg i dont even know how or why this would happen but i want gordon freeman to lie supine on the ground with his hands up like paws like hes a big pupy looking for tummy rubs OKAY! BYE. I HAVE TO GO. im going to fucking sob why am i like this why is this the cutest possible thing for a man to do. i cant even think of a fucking reason why he would do this so im so fucking embarrassed
i want to fucking. i want to rub his fucking tumy and make him pop a boner from it im literally so sick of this earth
> i was literally Just typing: i just think it would be cool . To pet his tummy and keep telling him "good boy" in a Certain kind of Tone that just totally fucks him up about it . maybe flushed and tongue starting to wanna hang out of his mouth as he goes from laying flat on his back to kinda twisted to one side, breathing heavy, tail thumping hard against the floor cause hes a big dog so that thing is like a lethal weapon
> petting the fuzzy lower belly while hes already hard & needy just to make him whine Very high pitched and desperate-sounding bc its so close to what he wants but that just makes it worse 8)
> What if. Benrey pinning Gordon, maybe scritches behind his ear, as a "joke", he's a dog haha good boy wants ear scritches?? And Gordon immediately squirming and whining. Maybe even kicking his leg just a little bit
> i think it would be cool for a post-black mesa puby gordon pinned benrey to the floor with his whole body weight and humped the life out of benrey's leg while panting and drooling in benrey's ear. a total lack of regard for benrey, (of course he's into it tho) just using him like an object that's conveniently there for him to furiously get off on
> i'm thinking.... this happening after a period of prolonged teasing, like you said. rubbing his tummy and ignoring his dick
> Man ok combined with the suit edging huh? I love that, but i also kinda want gordon to sneak off to get off and discover his uh. k. kn. knot
> he sneaks off and if in this situation he can.  idk. get at his dick in a bathroom or whatever. and well, he gets caught up so easily in his 'head empty' instincts mode that when he cums he's kneading that thang for like 2 minutes before he even becomes cognizant enough to notice. and then immediately panic. so idk maybe he cant get at himself for a while, right, so he didnt notice this
> i just think gordon being in the suit would not let him get at his dick and he would only be able to get off in really convoluted ways so like...he wouldnt fucking Know he had a knot he would just feel a weird pressure at the base that he doesnt know what its about. but he starts getting these fantasies of holding benrey down and staying in him when he comes and he doesnt know where the hell thats coming from.....yet. until after everything is over and he can get out of it, and the first time he jacks off again he realizes HOLY FUCK? like what the hell....but it makes sense in retrospect where those fantasies came from. but hes just super embarassed about those fantasies and pushes them down until benrey comes back into his life and activates him again
> in addition to embarassment i think he has a lot of complicated feelings about benrey and definitely feels a guilty about wanting to fuck him into the ground and fill him with cum....but GOD if benrey doesnt get to him just as much as he did in black mesa
> i think that something like this would be so unplanned and shit but like......theyve probably hung out a few times before this or more like maybe benrey has dropped into his house just to annoy him and gordon finds his ears pricking when he hears heavy footsteps around his house cause he recognizes them as benrey's...
> little rush of exhilaration maybe. cause it means they'll spend some time together and he has just all these emotions under his skin when they do. i dont know how this would happen but maybe gordon forgets to keep himself in check when benrey makes him laugh so hard he's snorting and his tail is wagging furiously.benrey tries to touch/catch his tail cause he's kinda curious about it and it never got to mess with it in black mesa. but it turns into roughhousing as gordon shoves him away a little bit but benrey keeps trying to get at it and then get at his ears
> "cmon man just let me touch them whats the big deal-" "NO!" but like hes still laughing a bit until they start really getting into it and he gets breathless and a little irritated at having to roll around and try to pin benrey's hands to the floor
hell on earth......the way his tails wagging and hes grinning and drooling a little once he gets benrey pinned.......
> little triumphant smile when he finally does.....got benrey on his stomach and he's subconsciously rutting against benrey's ass like in black mesa but hes just not noticing while he's berating benrey for losing
> talking right into his ear, and benrey lets out a little gasp when he does a particularly hard thrust and then hes like oh. fuck. he takes in a deep breath and can smell benrey's sweat and realizes hes just as horny about this as he is. cant help but bury his face in the back of his neck and lick. and benrey starts pushing back into him and talking the worst dirty talk and it makes him growl right against his neck and put his teeth there again as a warning not to move but benrey doesnt still, he just keeps talking. so gordon bites down, hard, cutting him off mid sentence with a yelp
f. fucking. benrey......arching his back into it.......pressing his hips up as high as theyll go......the angles bro.....the angles
> also: gordon popping boners more easily, even when he's just platonically excited w/ benrey..... yeah... :)
> like the thing about this is just that he got so excited from the wrasslin that he popped a boner....wasnt even thinking of horny.....
> not until benrey started gasping and arching back into him. then hes immediately aware of how this looks...like hes already basically in the position in his fantasies hes just rutting against him in the imitation of fucking
> gordon getting more frenzied by the little sounds benrey is making as he clamps down on his neck, drool dripping down his chin. benrey braces himself with one hand and gets the other to pull his pants down and then tug on the leg of gordon's down a bit because gordon is kind of. not thinking straight right now. gordon gets the message and fumbles with the buttons to get it down and like. haha i thinnk it would be fun if benrey prepped himself before this and gordon notices like. you really managed to prep urself this time? god, you really wanted this to happen. but maybe benrey had been doing it the last few times cause gordon would get in his space again sometimes and things were tense
NO GOD THIS IS GOOD. LIKE. oh my god gordon just like bitching at him and getting up in his face and Growling a couple times before while his pants are all tented from the inadvertent excitement boners that he doesnt even realize hes having.....and benrey might not be smart but hes not stupid
theres like a 50% chance theyre gonna fuck at any given time he realizes so like. why not......
even if it doesnt work out in the moment benrey still spends the whole time hopped up on the knowledge that they could have, that he was the little fucking pervert who got himself all prepped just in case gordon decided todays the day hes just gonna mount him, and honestly the way he beats his meat and fucks himself afterwards might be nearly as good as the real deal, just from that little bit of self-inflicted degradation
like u said...........he really wanted it to happen
> hhh.... maybe gordon ruts a bit against his ass and benrey guides him in and. he makes a deep growling rumble when he bottoms out. benrey feels it through his chest and gets a full body shiver as he's filled. i dont think hes fully developed his knot yet but its a tight fit. he starts fucking hard and fast into him while open mouthed panting, he cant keep his face away from the benrey's neck, licking up the sweat and burying his face there to breathe in his scent
the fucking . the desperation......every instinct in his body has been telling him to fuck benrey - yes, that benrey, fucking benrey - into the ground for......weeks now? months??
dudes probably tried everything he can think of to overcome it and to think about literally anything else when he gets off but nobody he fucks even comes close to smelling as good as benrey did when gordon had him pinned and gasping and sweating and he could smell the want rolling off him in waves.....and it sucks massive dick and he hates it
> hes been driven crazy by this thought for so long.....cant fucking control himself. wh. what if gordon managed to get a hold of a piece of benrey's clothes that he left and held it up to his face when he let himself jack off to this particular thought so he could get the scent but it jsut wasnt the same without his warm, panting body below him . he always nuts the hardest when he has it though
huffing benreys undershirt and desperately rutting into a pillow on his hands and knees with his ass fully up and hes just utterly debased right now
sad and pathetic gordon freeman humping his pillow like a dog and whining thinking about fucking benrey. if his past self could see himself like this right now he would be disgusted
> !!!!!!!!1 HIM GETTING INTO THE MOUNTING POSITION ON INSTINCT WHEN HE DOES IT...YOUR BRAIN ! i think that gordon would definitely give everything hes got to benrey when he finally gets to fuck him.
> now that hes actually doing it he's just out of his goddamn mind. benrey already being ready for him, slick and hot, just letting him push in .....i think he would definitely go insane
dudes never fucked so hard or so mindlessly in his life......for once all the neuroses just fly out the window. overcome by instinct
> letting out all these whines and moans, not even caring for how loud hes being... benrey's wanted this so fucking bad hes just eating it up, pushing back on him like an animal and getting a power trip that he made gordon this unhinged
thinking about him just being utterly shocked when benrey guides him in and he can just bury himself all the way to the hilt so easily and it makes something in his brain snap
> gordon doesnt even tell benrey when hes close, benrey can just start to feel his knot swell inside him and how it stretches him a bit past what he prepared for...but he wants it in him so fucking bad, he just lets gordon keep fucking into him
like. oh my god. does benrey even know about the knot or is this a brand new and fun surprise for him
> I DONT KNOW......I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A BIT CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT....
> being caught off guard by it but being so turned on by the feeling of it filling him that he lets out this really high, needy sound. which goes straight to gordon's dick and he just pushes into him harder and jolts his whole body with it. maybe he h....he bites down on the other side of his neck again and thrusts in one more time before coming deep in him. just shuddering from it, eyes squeezed shut and jaw locked around benrey
benrey just fuckin. face down ass up and arching his back as high as he can
(mumbling very quietly) it might be cool also if. gordon maybe.....started growling some things as he got close. a certain something. a word
you know......just......bent over benreys back......arms wrapped around benreys chest and fingers digging into the soft flesh (maybe even his titties, if youre feeling spicy).......pistoning his hips in staccato bursts while he growls.........u bh hhhhh......"mine". over and over not even realizing hes doing it b/c his brain is so fogged out on the sheer delight of rawing benrey after having thought about it non-stop
(mumbling so quietly im speaking at a pitch below the human hearing threshold) benrey hoarsely saying "'m yours, 'm yours" while hes got one hand jammed underneath himself to tug at his dick is the thing that sets gordon off and makes him come, perhaps. perhaps
and gordon just.....slumps over him, leaning his full body weight on him, panting weakly into his ear while his hips subconsciously rut just a little bit, arms still wrapped around benrey but otherwise as useless as a bump on a log while benreys jerking himself off to the wild new feeling of having that knot stretch him open and tug at him every time gordon shifts his hips
gordon nuts and becomes utterly useless but at least his knots still fat as hell so benreys still got something to work with
(sobbing) i just want to see men acting like animals leave me olone..... its about the submission to instinct......the degradation and dehumanization......and also the scent kink its all about the fucking scent kink. its about wanting to huff a guy you pretend you hate like hes a fucking magic marker and its about wanting to make him smell like u
> for scent kink, Gordon's boners due to sweaty benrey hehehehe. this is narsty -> Benrey is like "yeesh that was a lot of exertion" after their first almost-sex wrasslin match, and gets embarassed, so next time he like, wears a bunch of old spice.... but gordon doesn't get as excited. like yeah he can feel him against his back and yeah he's not soft but.. he's not panting or as hard. benrey thinks real hard when he gets home
> CLEAN SWEAT OK ITS A COMBATIBILITY THING OK. IT IS. LOOK UP THE SCIENCE OK I ...walks away. clown shoez
YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT THANK U
> Maybe next time He doesn't bother with the old spice at all, and he gets real into the wrasslin... hell maybe he even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gets gordon's head under his arm im just saying
I DIDNT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY IT BUT NO YEAH THATS COOL. ITS A VERY COOL THOUGHT
think about......dogboy gordon roughhousing and getting pinned down himself and snapping his teeth up at benrey like joking but not joking. you know
they both start just getting really into roughhousing b/c sometimes gordons brain gets Stressed The Fuck Out by all the added stimulation to the senses of being pupy......theres too many sounds and smells sometimes and it makes him even more neurotic and makes him start acting up and getting irritable and trying to start shit until he exerts himself enough to tire his brain out and make it shut up
maybe even like.....in the interim after black mesa but before he runs into benrey again, gordon becomes a fucking hot mess b/c he doesnt know how to deal with it all and the only way he got thru black mesa without his brainstem snapping in half was b/c he and benrey would start shit and start fighting and wrestling and the rest of the science team eventually shrugged and accepted this as a (very weird) part of their life now. he looks like hes one minor inconvenience away from a panic attack and its so sad
any kind of physical exercise would help (he takes up jogging when hes feeling stressed out, which is a lot, and hes gotten some really nice legs by this point) but theres just something different about the roughhousing. its a mental exercise as well as a physical one, so it exhausts his brain more, and unbeknownst to him, he just gets fucking endorphins from the way benrey smells and from being able to mark him with all the up-close physical contact theyre getting. so. hence the wrestling and roughhousing and gordons occasional tendency to just pounce the guy in public and start fighting him with his tail wagging and thumping like crazy
it might be even better if gordon attempts to roughhouse with just about the whole science crew at some point, just for a point of comparison
like.....its usually good, its satisfying, and it wears him out and lets him function like a human being......but theres just something about roughhousing with benrey thats really satisfying and he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to figure out what it is
gordon freeman is an idiot, is what im saying
> tommy indulges him and probably lets him win a few times, coomer soundly wins out every time and bubby probably...loses some before getting pissy LOL. i think that its fun for him to get the most Good Feelings out of roughhousing with benrey.....
AUUUUGHHH WHAT IF HE LICKED BENREYS FACE THO
g gbfbhhh god im obsessed with the way benrey laughs at him and asks "what the fuck is wrong  with you?" in the act 3 commentary and thats the exact kind of vibe im feeling from him about like. everything gordon does in pupymode
> Okay, before I go to bed, I shall leave you with a Dog Thought™. Gordon probably wouldn’t be the “best trained” dog in the world because, well, he doesn’t have anyone to make him listen or obey. Heck, given his need to be in control, he probably thinks he’s the leader of the proverbial pack and nobody can tell him what to do. He’d probably slip and do quite a few “rude” and obnoxious dog things, including but not limited to being all over Benrey.
> Trying to goad him into roughhousing. Licking his face. Being in his space to the point that it even starts to make Benrey raise an eyebrow. Inappropriate marking and whatnot. [cough] And what if Benrey--in a weird reversal of the roles we usually give--is stuck with the task of… training Gordon… to behave…
> YOU KNOOOOW. Because pitting alpha dog Gordon against Benrey, who is trying to get him to be “good”...
> … Well, that could be interesting.
> Imagine if you will: Benrey realizing he needs to get Gordon under control. As much as he likes the attention, it's becoming too much. Relentless. Tables have been turned and now he's the one that's a little overwhelmed by the situation because, well, Gordon is running on pure instinct half the time. Making it hard to do things. Making it hard to live his life. Always in his bubble which was, like, fine at first but now he can't do anything without feeling a wet tongue on his face or having Gordon trying to goad him into rough housing.
> He needs so much attention. Has so much energy. It's too much.
> So, he decides he's going to try to "train" Gordon to not... do that. Benrey trying to assert dominance over Gordon, as if he were just a normal dog. Gordon, who has already marked Benrey and decided that Benrey belongs to him does not take to this very well. This is not how the chain of command works. This isn't how the chain of command works at all.
> Benrey, struggling to curb him through praise and admonitions--"good boy," "bad boy," tossing him ~treats~ if he does something right--is now facing off with Gordon, who is both enamored with the attention he's getting but utterly pissed off by the fact Benrey is trying to stop him from doing what he wants.
losing it at the tables being turned and now gordons the annoying fucker getting up in benreys business all the time and never leaving him alone. he deserves this
> They're basically both unmovable objects and unstoppable forces. Benrey is stubborn and isn't going to give up all his sweet PS3 time because Gordon won't stop humping his leg, and Gordon is not going to give up his God given right to make Benrey his property. But Benrey isn't completely averse to the idea of being Gordon's bitch. He just wants to be his bitch on his own terms.
> So, in a surprising show of... well, intelligence on Benrey's behalf, he starts redirecting Gordon's energy towards what HE wants Gordon to do.
> That's how you handle misbehaving dogs anyway. You redirect their energy. That's what all the books on dog training says anyway, and Benrey's inclined to believe it because he's read it in all two books on the subject he casually flipped through.
> So, when Gordon starts getting in his space, he starts redirecting him to touch where he wants touched. "Good boy." When Gordon starts getting a little rough, he purposefully positions himself so he gets the most out of it. "Good boy." When Gordon's licking his face, he starts trying to guide that tongue down to his neck. Feels better there. "Good boy."
> Because he's not a complete idiot. Him and Gordon both know this is sexually charged at this point. And Gordon... Gordon can bend his behaviors a little bit as he's being directed if he still gets to do what he wants (in a way), and Benrey still gets to be fondled by the nerd.
> "But part of the problem is that he is in Benrey's space all the time!" Yeah, but Benrey figured that out, too. You know what shuts up Gordon real fast? Pushing him back down on the other end of the couch and telling him to stay. And if he listens, he slowly, carefully hand feeds Gordon a treat as a reward. Pushing it into his mouth, making sure it goes all the way in. Letting Gordon lick the last bits of taste off of his fingers. He usually sits still after that. "Good boy."
i have a thought thats almost unrelated but im so desperate to give this scenario the proper context
thinking about......gordon getting out of black mesa and hes still dogboy.....and hes attempting to go back to life as normal now that benreys out of his hair for ever but one day his pupy nose catches That Fucking Smell on the air and he realizes that benreys not fucking dead. he thought benrey was fucking dead, b/c he killed him
gordon freeman losing his mind for a solid week or two trying to hunt that smell down (why?? to prove a point?? to try to kill benrey again??? uh huh.) and then when he does hunt benrey down, its like.....well, what was the plan, bud? you found him, and now youre having a staredown outside a 7/11 while benreys frozen halfway through his big gulp
i literally forgot what i was typing b/c dogy gordon tum y rub b gtfhgbb ggfabgbbg
and.....well......he doesnt know exactly what his game plan was, but he does know that benrey cant be trusted as far as u can throw him, and hes not about to let benrey wreak havoc on new mexico if he can help it, so now his new hobby is......tracking benrey across the city to keep an eye on him
and thats how they keep ending up in close proximity
and thats how u start looping in the whole role reversal thing.....suddenly gordons the one that benrey cant shake......hes a bloodhound and hes got the scent
SORRY im SORRY i crave context with the same ferocity that i crave, like, air
and then they start roughhousing when gordon tackles him to the ground one day to stop him from doing.....something......and gordon snaps being to being a normal person so quickly afterwards that its dizzying. turns out a solid 80% of what he really wanted was a sparring buddy
> good afternoon everyone this is not horny in the slightest but i just wanted to say- you know that thing dogs do where they get REALLY excited and playful when you come home from a long day at work? well i’m just thinking about. y’know how benrey has a tendency to just, vanish for a while and come back like nothing happened? think it’d be cute if he were gone for a particularly long stretch of time b4 catching up with the science team again and gordon RESPONDS in his typical annoyed, bratty fashion while his body language is saying something completely different (he still hasn’t mastered the art of puby)
> like, u know, tail wagging a hundred miles a minute, ears perked up and attentive, subconsciously getting all up in benrey’s space
Im going to Cry thats so fucking cute wtf wtf  wt ff
still going insane thinking about the “good boy” thing......like...... its all fun and games until hes grappling his best friend benrey and hes got benrey in a headlock and hes plastered against benreys back from head to toe and his tails thumping excitedly against the floor and hes panting hot and harsh right against benreys ear and benrey takes that moment, right there, to choke out "good boy"
its half outright horny and half power play b/c benreys banking that either theyre gonna fuck or gordons gonna let go and be like "what the fuck, man" and then benrey can get the drop on him again
the way gordon just goes stiff after he says it.....breath getting shaky.....dick twitching once against benreys ass and the guy can fucking feel it clear as day......Augh
his tail slows.....and then fires right back up again when he tentatively rocks his hips against benreys ass and feels the sound benrey makes more than he hears it......and like for fucks sake theyve been dancing around how horny their roughhousing sessions are for weeks, this guy deserves to finally get his rocks off by dry humping benreys ass while benreys getting spots in his vision from how tightly gordons got his arm wrapped around his neck. he deserves this
gordons free hand slowly opening up and pressing flat against benreys shirt, then crawling under it so that he can feel the bare skin of his stomach......rocking his hips against the dip between benreys cheeks and whimpering when benrey says it again, breathless and hoarse. "good boy." his tongue poking out to lick a broad, wet stripe up the side of benreys neck to taste the salt and sweat and the hormones, jesus christ, hes never been able to taste if somebodys horny before but its rolling off of him in waves.......and gordons breath comes out so loud and harsh and desperate when benreys leg lifts up a little bit for him to slot his own between them more easily
just mumbling stupid horny shit like "fuck benrey, you taste so good" while his tongue lolls out of his mouth and he licks the curve of benreys ear and rolls benrey onto his stomach b/c something in the back of his brain is whispering to him that it would be a really, really good idea, and hes originally got benrey just crushed flat against the floor with his full body weight but benrey takes a rattling breath and tells him to ease up, get up offa him.....
and gordons confused at this point b/c he was pretty sure this was where this was going, he was being a good boy, but that thought doesnt last very long b/c benreys shuffling into position under him, raising his hips and pushing gordons up with him while his face and torso are flat against the floor, and, Oh. hes. hes doing that. this is what theyre fucking doing now
> gordon taking the collar of benrey’s shirt in his mouth in an crude imitation of scruffing him
every fucking bone in gordons body is telling him to move his hips, fuck benrey stupid, bury himself to the hilt, but he cant do that when theyre both still clothed so he does the next best thing and ruts against benrey like he fucking means it and like if he just tries hard enough, gets enough friction, itll be just like fucking him for real......
hes so dizzied by looping thoughts of he wants this, he wants you to mount him, like youre a filthy fucking animal, arent you? you sick fuck, you wanna mark him and breed him and hed let you, hed beg you for it, look, hes doing it right now and when he comes back down to earth, yeah, benrey is begging right now, isnt he. while hes palming at the front of his sweatpants and whimpering and calling gordon a good boy, attempting to tug his pants down to his knees so gordon can rut against bare flesh, and gordon slows down just enough to let him do it and to fumble open his own zipper to ease some of the agonizing pressure
gordon fumbling his dick out of his underwear to line it up between benreys fat cheeks and god, the feeling of skin against skin is so much fucking better than chafing against his jeans that it makes him growl against benreys neck and benrey cant pump his fucking dick fast enough. hes so encouraging, what with all those little sounds hes making and the way hes arching his back and pressing his hips up as high as theyll go, groaning into the crook of his arm "fuckin, fuck me, bro, j-just like that"
> thinking...... they both get so lost in it, they both can’t hold back long enough to fuck for real. this is too hot, benrey feels something hot and wet on his ass and gordon is curling into him. benrey’s never felt so simultaneous turned on and frustrated that he’s still empty, he’s still gonna have to wait, snd ironically that denial pushes him over too
GOD yes fuckin. coming on his ass b/c gordons so frantic and desperate that he cant wait...... but seeing his cum all over benreys ass is deeply satisfying in its own way. he smears it deep into benreys skin to mark him like that
> oh hey imma be nasty sorry but Gordon all cum-high just sort of manouvering Benrey until he can start licking his cock clean bc he likes to uh. i mean benrey's all wet and you know. he likes it. and benrey comes from that, before he can even think about sucking him off properly
> he doesnt have a thought left in his head at the moment... and can u blame him? so he just uh follows he nose.......  and benrey's brain is deleted except for "GORDON FREEMAN ON MY DICK????????" bouncing around like a screensaver yes
> yeah he's not even trying to suck him off really, hes not gotten that far yet cuz hes so cumbrained, gone stupid, etc
im gonna be gross here too okay......and like. fucking. huffing and burying his nose into the crook of benreys thighs b/c he smells so intensely like sex and sweat and it makes gordon lightheaded
> YEAAH maybe he starts licking there before he gets up to his dick. it's not like he's dragging it out really so it's not long but benrey's gaping like a fish. he's trying to say something sorta but he can't get any words out and isn't even sure what he himself is trying to say
maybe he cant help himself and he just starts licking and biting on impulse b/c its your resident fuckin thigh guy here and i think benrey deserves to get em chomped like a drumstick
> and then that's gordon's tongue on his dick, bro and this neurotic mf looking so pleased and blissed out as he sloppily licks him all over is a sight he couldn't have even cooked up in his imagination before now
> benrey not coherently enough to warn him he’s like right there, his babbling incoherently at the tease of gordon’s nose and lips is gonna make him- and then his Tounge darts out and it’s over, the start of the end and he’s spurting all over gordon’s completely surprised face without even being jerked or licked through it
> maybe since gordon's been so stressed and keyed up for so long that benrey coming is a surprise but still doesn't shock him enough to clear the cumbrain, so he licks ben clean after that too, while he's twitching and whimpering etc
> think that benrey massive meat being useless and barely even touched is hip and rad even in the context of him technically being in the higher position of power
> then rests his head on beny's belly for a while, feeling very accomplished and tired. he'll panic later, don't worry
god im still thinking about. pillow humping/voyeurism
gordon freemans a bad fucking dog and sometimes he cant help himself and just starts rutting into a pillow with his ass up and his face buried in one of benreys undershirts while hes just panting and mumbling shit the whole time about benrey, benrey, benrey, why is he so fucking obsessed with benrey and with thinking about mounting him just like hes doing to his poor abused pillow every week
and. you know. maybe one day......benrey kind of.....catches him in the act. i think that would be cool. just coming home one day and cracking open his bedroom door and seeing gordon freeman on all fours, his teeth sunk deep into one pillow and another pillow between his thighs, desperately fucking it while hes groaning benreys name b/c he sure as shit was not expecting him back that early, which is why his cumbrain made him feel confident enough to crawl into benreys bed and roll around in it and mainline benreys scent from his clothes and nut on his pillow (and then feel fucking bad about it and frantically try to clean it off)
and benrey just slooowly steps back with his heart pounding out of his chest for possibly the first time in his whole life b/c he did not think gordon freeman ever wanted to fuck him, but here he is, using benreys pillow as an imitation of the real thing and jerking off in his bed
just turns right the fuck back around and goes into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face and stares down at his sudden boner
THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS B/C THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO THE PISS STUFF THAT WEVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT. SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS
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dysfunctionalnerd · 4 years ago
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I was wondering ... how would Randall react to Evil! Layton? or Monocle! Layton(by the way your drawings are amazing!)
ahhh thank u so much!! that means so much to me ;u; oh my GOSH MONACLE LAYTON!!! i havent thought about him organically in too long sksksks
well so ok if i had to make layton evil at any point in time, the way id do it would be after unwound future. it would be about 2 years after he found randall, but in this scenario he never worked up the courage to call randall or go back and visit after he left Monte D'or so abrubtly, which means losing that friendship was already weighing on his heart. so then after UF, losing claire and luke in the span of the same week... its too much for him. Crying in his room one night, he says "so this is it then? am i destined to always lose the people i love? i will simply never love again." and he snaps. he gets cold and distant, doesnt allow the kindness of others to reach him. all he wants now is vengance, and this man has been wronged by soooooo many people.
The only person still living with him is flora at this point. at first she lets things slide. things like seeing hersh withdraw into his study for too long, or drink too late into the night. but then she notices he stays in his room for days at a time, clearly working on something, but he gets so rude when asked about what. shes always met with answers like "its none of your concern" or "dont ask questions you're not prepared to hear the answer to", until one day she really puts her foot down. Demands to know whats going on. Shes so worried. But hershel screams at her to go away. an ugly, terrible yelling nobody deserves. and its so cold she just,, runs away crying. she cant think of anybody to reach out for help. she doesnt know anybody, she was never allowed to go out and make friends.
until she remembers the stories luke told her about the man they saved in Monte D'or, and she remembers how softly hershel would smile the precious few times he mentioned he name randall.
so she pulls up a phone book and looks up a Randall Ascot. Its not hard considering he owns an entire fucking town. shes crying and scared and alone, and when randall picks up the phone, he is of course concerned. hes never met this girl, but nobody should by crying this much, and then his heart breaks when he realizes its hershel who did this. He was always hurt by how hershel never said goodbye, and never called again to rekindle their friendship. at first he doesn't want to come over, but flora begs him.
"please, randall, you have to help. I know i hardly know you but... nobody else can reach him, i just know it".
so he grabs the nearest train. tells flora take take it easy at a bougie hotel for a night while he makes the trip over, pays for everything ofc. the two meet up. randall falls in love with this girl in .5 seconds (yknow in that "ive only met this girl for 10 minutes but if anything were to happen to her id kill everyone in this room and then myself" kind of way). They decide to just go to hershels flat and knock. he doesnt answer. they knock again. nothing. randall gets worried. he breaks down the door, shouts for hershel. Nobodys there. the place is empty. they enter hershels study to make sure, but what they find horrifies them. a GIANT charlie kelly style board with a bunch of pictures of different people, mostly people connected to bill hawks, and red lines connecting them stand before the two, and they both know in their gut its a hit list of some kind.
so they run to parliment or whatever building it is those goverment people all stay in, hoping its not too late, hope maybe their suspicions arent true. Theyre horrified when they reach the front steps and theres no guards or anything. sirens are blaring. they run down the halls. injured soldier's and police are telling them to turn back, its not worth it, this man is unstoppable.
"please dont let it be hershel, please dont let it be hershel."
flora stops when they reach the big door. she looks up at randall, crying. "im sorry... but i cant go in. i dont want to face him like this."
randall hugs her, reassures her. tells her its ok to wait by the entrance, that everything will be ok.
Flora rushes off, and randall takes a deep breath. He opens the door where bill hawks office is supposed to be. Randalls heart sinks. in the big chair is hershel, a sword covered in red, and tied to chains too close to the fire place is a beat up bill hawks.
hershel greets him coldly, like strangers.
"ah hello there. im sorry, but the prime minister cannot assist you today. please come back later."
"hershel, what are you doing??? that sword.... have you??"
"killed someone? no..." he hops off his chair and points his sword to bill hawks, far too close to the neck. "no not yet. but if youd like, you can join me for the first one."
Randall picks up a pipe or something close to him. "i cant let you do this hershel... i know youre better than this."
"ah, but you see, thats the thing." his blade lightly touches bills neck. "i could be, but then... whats the point?" then he scoffs, and pulls his sword away, pointing it towards randall in a battle stance. "never mind, you could never understand."
and he charges. AND THE EPIC SWORD FIGHT BETWEEN HERSHEL AND RANDALL THAT WE WERE ROBBED OF COMENCES! Randall, between parrys, is in total disbelief. "Hershel, stop it! i know how youre feeling, but this isnt the solution! youre tired, and scared, and unbelievably hurt. youre in so much pain... this isn't going to end that pain!"
clink, parry
"you couldnt possibly know what im feeling. ive lost everyone. but its no matter."
for a moment it looks like hershel is about to pin randall down, but he swoops away at the last minute.
"No, please hershel, you cant think like that!! youre not alone!! not anymore!! You didnt give up on the masked gentleman... let me return the favor!"
hershel gasps at this, and hesitates. its enough for randall to knock hershels sword out of his hands, and pin him to the ground. Hershel is afraid, his eyes are wide.
"r-randall, stop it!! leave me alone!"
"no!" randall throws the pipe he fought with aside. "not until you make things right!" he starts crying, his tears spill on hershels shirt. "not until i get my best friend back..."
hershel can't take it anymore. He screams, and starts crying uncontrollably. that ugly crying you reserve for your worst moments, and randall softens his grip on hersh, changes it so hes hugging his friend. And hershel just cries and cries and cries.
"i... i just dont want to live like this anymore..." he sobs.
"hershel.... oh hershel, im so, so sorry."
and they continue to cry. eventually randall asks what happened, how it got to this. hershel explains the events of the last few years. how luke left. how bill hawks sent men to beat him to an inch of his life 8 years ago, so really this is just him returning the favor. they talk it out.
"hershel... you owe flora an apology"
and hershel starts crying even more. "oh no, how could i do this to her?? im a monster..."
"nonsense! shes just worried about you, we all just want you to be ok. give her time, you two will be ok."
so slowly, randall convinces hershel to take his hand and walk out before some real irreverasble damage is done. they dont untie bill tho :) hershel comes face to face with flora at the entrance. starts stuttering some words, but jever gets around to saying anything bc flora hugs hershel so tightly, and cries into his chest. "professor i was so worried..."
"i.... im so sorry...."
and thats it!! the police dont do anything bc i dont believe in them, hawks eventually gets voted out. they all go home and randall decides to stay with hershel until he find a therapist. then decides to stay with him until he starts smiling again, then because i mean whos gonna help out with flora?? and then bc honestly hershel, this place is a mess! and then,,,,, well,,,,,, yknow,, 👀👀
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liarsweapon · 3 years ago
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A/lcina’s diary pages referring to the family meeting, flat out says shes ‘treated as a sister’ even tho she supposedly hates them lol, i cant get a screencap of the meeting rn so i’ll add it in later, but when Heis screams at angie and m/oreau to shut up, Ci/na looks like shes going to plummel him for it (kinda ironic given she claims to hate them, which most siblings claim they hate each other, nobody else is allowed to tho)
Mo/reau’s quotes:
"Wait, wait, wait! What are you doing with Mother's special child!?"
"Wait, wait, wait! Please, please! If, if you take it then the others will laugh at me. B-but if, if I do better than them..."
"Oh god. Oh Mother, why? Why!?"
"Watch me, Mama!"
"I'll do better next time, Momma..."
"I'll make you proud, Mother. Watch me!"
"You're the reason Mother doesn't love me."
“Don’t you love me, mother?”
He/isenbe/rg’s quotes
"Mo/ther Mira/nda is gonna love you!"
"Gotta get Donna and Mo/reau entertained!"
"Ah, Eth/an Win/ters. Welcome. I didn't think you'd make it past Donna or Mor/eau, but I suppose you survived worst back in America, hm?”
"Lady sup/er-sized bit/ch... Ugly-ass psy/cho doll... and that mo/ronic freak. Don't you get it? It's a test, to see if you're strong enough... to be part of Mira/nda's family." (Note: he shows the most disdain for his family here, imo, but the fact he also previously insulted and showed minor affection shows me personally that he does still view them as family lmao)
"She took me. Took us. To be her children. She locked us away in the village. Decades of being forced to serve her. Can you even understand that humiliation?" (Literally says us, showing even after theyre dead he still cared enough to mention his dead siblings)
“I'm not like my siblings. I want nothing more than to be free of that bitch” (Where it’s clear that despite viewing the other l/ords as siblings, he does not view mira/nda as his mother.. but contradicts this later, albeit sarcastically)
"Mi/randa thinks we're nothing but children. Oh, she doesn't care for us, no. She's long lost all her humanity. I must destroy her..." (Once again, We’re. Though in this case he may be referring to E/than.)
"Guess I do have to thank that bitch Mira/nda for this. I'll kill her with the power she gave me. That's what I call being a good son! Haha!" (ironically its p clear hes her favorite lmao)
Donna does not have any quotes referencing the family, or really at all since her one line of dialogue in the entire game could be viewed as a hallucination. A/ngie also does not reference the family at all, besides calling M/oreau ugly and shoving him. She does listen to H/eisen/berg when he tells her to shut the fuck up though.
no i am not bothering w miranda bc i could not care less abt her, but while you can use the excuse of ‘well cults love makin you think youre family before abusing you!!!’ yes, thats true, but despite their distaste for each other it’s pretty damn clear the lords still view each other as siblings even if they don’t want to.
And denying that is on you.
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musubiki · 5 years ago
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What are your Raihan/Nessa HCs
👀👌
- raihan truely brings out the “raging” in “nessa the raging wave”
- hes like the 4 year old on the playground that picks on the girl he likes by putting frogs in her backpack
- except this is a 23 year old man splatting a baby gloomy on nessas head by surprise as a hello
- raihan is confident. he doesnt get embarrassed or flustered easily, but he does around nessa. and when he gets TOO flustered he pulls his tooth hood shut around his face and just walks around like that
- nessa is usually cool, calm, and nice to everyone, except raihan, where even when hes being cool/nice and not annoying, she still tends to say something mean (and regrets it immediately afterwards. around him she cant seem to control what she says)
- however, the do get along when theyre bonding over listening to leons love bullshit!!!! theyre the only two in the league he trusts enough to ramble about his sonia love woes (and piers, but piers is too tired and just leaves)
- sometimes they get too bored listening to leons flustered rambling about how beautiful and amazing sonia is. raihan has eyes for someone else and nessa already knows all this, shes sonias bff. so raihan gets too bored and starts snapping selfies
- nessa notices and leans over to take some with him for fun. theres a lot of quiet whispered ‘try that filter-’ and ‘ugeh i look ugly. take one more’
- once leon notices theyre not paying attention he glares/gives them a flat look, and raihan just blurts out “what? we’ve heard this already. just ask her out or bone her and get it over with-” and nessa stomps on his foot
- by the by, raihan gives terrible relationship advice LMFAO!!!! he has gems sometimes, but hes the friend thats cool, flirty but always single. raihans advice is just “you have any baby charmanders? put a baby charmander on her head.”
- nessa has more relationship experience. at the very least shes a GIRL, so she can tell him what girls like. her and sonia arn’t terribly different in tastes. shes giving leon advice like “gold jewelry matches her skin tone more. her favorite flowers are lilies. if theres no lilies, get roses. make sure you like nice but not too nice. girls dont like clingy guys-” and leons just sweating, overwhelmed but trying to take notes. (he ends up just doing his own thing and sonia loves him no matter what)
- anyway, once leon and sonia get close again after she sets out for research, raihan bothers nessa a lot more. he does a lot of annoying things like grabbing her bun and trying to trap her in his hoodie, but he has his moments. when they go out drinking she tends to get really rowdy and he always takes care of her.,,.
- (raihan had a little crush on nessa for a long time. it was more like a “she hot” kinda crush at first but it eventually turned into him actually falling in love with her and not knowing how to deal with it besides annoying her and hoping hes loveable enough for her to go out with him)
- (nessa wasnt interested in him for a while. she admitted to herself like yeah, hes cool and handsome but hes too much of a handleful, and rejected his advances more than once, just thinking he was messing around. but after a while they have a few soft sweet moments and all of a sudden its like “oh no”)
- after they get together raihans harassment dies down a little, and he can tell a little easier when she did mean it when she said something terrible to him. he still teases her a lot, but its usually followed by a soft kiss on her cheek or something
- (on a side note, raihans kisses are really soft. nessa expected feral shark tooth man to be a lot more rough, but their first kiss is sweet and gentle. and her heart starts beating really fast and her face flushes and she thinks about it a lot afterward. and shes all confused because shes never had this happen before. AND shes all “raihan??? of all people??? no way right??? i dont like him??? right??? hahahaha [calls up sonia at 2am to talk to her about him bc she cant sleep]”)
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dumbdancemomssideblog · 5 years ago
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S1E1: The Competition Begins
okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world. 
anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up
Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)
god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao
i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING
the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet 
(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)
mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show
i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right
melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)
maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot
melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!
camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys
aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid
melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime
oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days
Act 2:
[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh] 
the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic
“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”
“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell
“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”
okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho
aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :( 
paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before
nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/ 
Act 3:
cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged) 
vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?
in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????
Act 4: 
THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS
this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)
“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code
this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???
regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense
another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them
“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream
she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call? 
“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic
im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(
Act 5:
they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.
i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all
abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit
i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show
in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...
“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”
abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)
i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol
also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right
this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine
their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly
and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)
the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff
chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho.... 
“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”
“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”
and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....
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gayregis · 4 years ago
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if you've read season of storms is it any good? i read a sample and was kind of bored but i don't want to spend money on it if it's going to be like,,,,,,,,,lady of the lake
reading this i was like “wait lady of the lake was good though,” then i paused to actually think about it as a cohesive narrative for a bit, and went “actually wait never mind :/...” it was good thematically, and there were a lot of great scenes, but like as a whole book... if you could only read that book on its own... it would be very long and confusing. i just think lotl’s good because i do the uncivilized thing of skipping around to the parts i like and then i don’t read the parts i dislike
but luckily i have already ranted about season of storms before, and i’ll post that rant here now. for context, i actually read season of storms from cover to cover... yeah.
overall, it's a disorganized and aimless plot. it's set inbetween tlw and sod, so there's no quest to find ciri, because geralt hasnt met ciri yet, he's still our free bachelor geralt. which means hes still quite directionless and when it comes to his personal life it's mostly preoccupied with romance. but more importantly it means the plot is incredibly aimless and NOT PERSONAL to geralt, like all the stories in TLW and SOD and all the saga books revolve around events and people super meaningful to him. what happens in the plot is a whole JUMBLE of things that feel like sidequests from the witcher games, not a story from the witcher books. nothing really means anything for geralt's character development, and it suffers from being so long because there's like a lot of different settings and characters and everything just seems completely thrown together, mashed up, and not coordinated. 
i will admit that baptism of fire & tower of the swallow followed a style of “random encounters” in which geralt and the company traverse on and just interact with whatever they happen to find, but it felt like they were accruing knowledge (and also. members of the company) as they travelled on. in season of storms, it feels like geralt starts over and the entire book resets itself every time there is a new scene. none of the plotlines fit together, so it is just a super confusing and exhausting reading experience, unlike in bof & tos, where you can follow the action quite easily and it’s very pleasant to read because it’s all one continuous storyline.
in addition, all of these mashed up stories are pointless, because they dont END with the reader learning anything about the universe the characters live in or their relationships with each other. we might learn that sorcerers are power-hungry, but we already knew that. we might learn that people are violent and corrupt, but we already knew that. we might learn that geralt loves yennefer, but we already knew that. in the short stories, you learn so much about the world and geralts relationships (for example: we learn so much about the situations surrounding the elves in edge of the world, so it’s worth reading because otherwise you will not understand anything when the scoia’tael show up in blood of elves and later in the saga). and in the saga, this continues and more worldbuilding/relationship building occurs (geralt and ciri’s relationship grows from a question of price and then becomes crazy right around baptism of fire when they’re super linked by destiny). it really doesnt in season of storms. you don’t learn anything meaningful about the world or the characters like in the other witcher books.
another large flaw is that in the stories and saga, sapkowski was really good at creating likeable, enigmatic characters no matter how few pages he had to create them. they were deep and almost lifelike and also usually told a larger message. the NPCs- sorry, "characters" in season of storms are SUPER flat and uninteresting.
coral is h*rny for geralt and jealous of yennefer, like every sorceress ever to exist, pratt is a dick and corrupt, degerlund is corrupt and evil, mosaik is timid, the werewolf guy is JUST THERE, the auguara isn’t super interesting despite being cool, nimue feels flatter as a character than usual, even dandelion- okay actually jk i liked dandelion he was the sunny part of this book AS ALWAYS ... ofc he felt one-dimensional but he usually does so you know, EVEN GERALT feels a little one-dimensional and not his typical introspective self
one of the worst things sapkowski did was [SPOILERS] make the major villain character of the book gay and feminine... like its mentioned SO many times that "ohhhh this is a man that looks like a woman WOW HOW EVIL!" and he literally does the worst things like rip ppl to shreds and want to kill geralt painfully by torture with syringes, also he uses his sexuality to ?? seduce an older sorcerer to be his favorite so he can keep his job as a sorcerer?? 
and OK vilgefortz and bonhart arent complex villains. but theyre despicable and it feels a little deeper bc vilgefortz has that backstory and hunger for power, and bonhart is just terrifying and the embodiment of wretched evil, this guy from season of storms is just annoying and anime villainy like “OOHOHOH watch how i kill you now >:)” also theres a lot of crass humor like fart jokes and villains that are described as really super ugly like omg wow never saw that one coming!!! it just feels super bland and basic and almost like the antithesis of The Witcher as short stories and a saga, super out of place with the rest of the series. [END SPOILERS]
in my opinion, the BIGGEST FLAW with season of storms is that since the plot is so all over the place, and since the characters are so flimsy, the entire book feels meaningless. it feels like it would appease games or netflix fans who just want to read about geralt going on some crazy adventures, and it does serve that purpose, but it is NOT a “book belonging to the witcher series.” it has no depth where there should be... i do not feel like sapkowski is trying to tell me something as a reader about human nature, or the nature of parent-child relationships, or society, or violence and war... 
it just feels like geralt is doing all of this shit just because sapkowski had some remaining ideas and wanted to get all of them out into the world all in the same book, like sewing a vest out of fabric scraps. it was not refined like the witcher saga, because none of them were really meant to fit together anyways, and because they weren’t meant to fit together, there is a distinct lack of message and substance to it.
TLDR: no cohesive narrative and a confusing plot, no deeper underlying message or arguments about humanity or society or nature being made by the author, cheap new side & background characters, no ciri and no yennefer so geralt is quite directionless and stupid
other remarks that are just my personal preferences and comments:
geralt & dandelion:
geralt mostly works alone in this book... which is... not my favorite. this is why i got bored with tw3 after i read the witcher books, because i can’t stand geralt being alone, the world feels so... lonely! although he meets up with dandelion and has an affair with coral in season of storms, most of the book is him waffling about with side and background characters that i couldn’t care less about because sapkowski put no effort into developing them to be enigmatic or at least lifelike and likable (unlike some really minor characters in the witcher saga that, although they were so minor, were incredibly likable: for example, applegatt and toruviel i quite like). 
of course, i also have a preference for when geralt hangs out with dandelion, because it usually creates more of a lighter tone for the scenes and a more humorous nature overall, plus geralt changes his personality to be not in such a bad mood and we get to see him being kind and friendly. so it annoys me that although dandelion has some scenes with geralt, they never really have deep conversations like they do in a little sacrifice, or witty remarks & banter like in the edge of the world... i feel like dandelion was quite in-character for the whole book, which is good, but also, he’s dandelion so he’s pretty easy to get in character. he’s just easy-going, arrogant, preoccupied with earthly delights, cowardly, and friendly to geralt. but it annoyed me that their scenes together were both not very deep, and that they didn’t get as much interaction as i think they deserved. usually in a witcher book or story in which geralt and dandelion have met, they stay by each other’s side for like, the whole book or story, lmao... 
that being said, they do have some fun moments in this book and dandelion has some funny lines which i quite enjoy. like. they are eating at an inn, and the innkeeper asks them “how are you finding the pork?” and dandelion replies, “we’re finding it among the kasha. from time to time. not as often as we’d like to.” and somehow i just find that line so fucking funny... i think it’s just because it’s really relatable
sorcery:
coral is SOOOOO one-dimensional, she really is just like the same character as fringilla vigo or some other sorceress that’s jealous of yennefer for getting to bang geralt, and this lack of characterization is super transparent. people laugh about how many affairs geralt has had, but they never discuss how all of them have been super uneasy and unfulfilling.
already said that i hate degerlund as a character and all of the sorcerers being morally wack is predictable if you’ve read like, anything from the saga about the sorcerer/esses. also geralt talking with sorcerers is like, interesting if the sorcerer in question is vilgefortz, but everyone else is just super boring
other:
i didn’t really like ferrant de lettenhove until the very end of the book (which i won’t spoil) but because of this end, i wished that he got more backstory/development
NIMUE I LOVE YOU and it was nice that nimue got some more backstory in this.
i do enjoy the end of the book. not to say “my favorite part is when it ended,” but it’s true, because the ending in kerack is interesting and full of drama, the moments in the inn are alright if a little void of substance, the ending with geralt and dandelion on horseback is beautiful, and the epilogue with nimue is wistful and beautiful as well.
sheer pettiness:
oh my GOD why are the CHAPTERS so SHORT? it’s like, 20 chapters plus a bunch of interludes and an epilogue, and the book is only 357 pages long. it feels like as soon as i was getting into a scene, it switched to another chapter. i mean, idk whether i prefer this, or the haphhazard long as fuck chapters from baptism of fire where i’m not quite sure when a chapter begins or ends because i memorized the scenes and not when a chapter occurs. 
i dislike how coral is on the cover of it, even though it’s fitting, because if there was a work about... oh idk... the hansa... then angouleme could have been on the cover... and then i could have had geralt + yennefer + ciri + dandelion + the hansa on the covers... like wow that would be cool...
this book would have functioned much better as a series of short stories... i think sapkowski has talent for the short story medium, but novel-length books are more desirable by publishers, but this is literally just a guess, i don’t have anything to back this up
my recommendation: don’t buy it if you are just looking to read the witcher books as in, get a feel for the book canon world and characters. it’s pretty unnecessary for that. do buy it if you are a completionist like me / the witcher is something you’ve been into for years and you’re about to buy all the books as a set and it would feel weird to not have all eight books on your shelf and it’s only like $5 more to buy the set of 8 as compared to the set of 7. don’t read it and expect perfection, it’s basically like “drabbles” but canon from the author. there are like 2 or 3 nice gerlion moments if you care about that.
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blubeloved · 4 years ago
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tw- venting so theres a lot im sorry i just need to get it out. pls feel free to ignore this.
I don't think things will ever get better for me. They start to. Like the light at the end of a tunnel. But then i figure out that light it actually a train. Its getting my hopes up. But then something awful happens. If this keeps up idk how long ill be able to deal with it. I dont wanna be here if its just going to be bad. why do i have to be here only to feel pain. I cant run away. Theres no way for me when my dad has contact with officers who will track me. And, once i do get away what then? I do know what im going to do but will the pain finally go away? Will i be happy once i get away? I really hope so..
And , what if i, for some reason, never do get away. My parents could keep me here. I dont know why they would, not like they want me here, but they could.
And idk how long i can take the disphoria. I just want my chest to bd flat! I want to cut my hair! Even just cutting my hair would help a lot! But of course that would look ugly because my mom told me and shes always right as mother knows best right!?
And if my anxiety keeps up- we are going to havs issues. Can people whisper without me thinking its about me? Why would it be about me? Theyve talked to me like once and jt was only like two words. Maybe it was my voice. My voice is annoying. And i dont like worrying about everything all the time. I wish my parents would let me have meds for it but they wont bc they dont realize how bad it is bc i dont talk about it a lot. And i don't talk about it a lot because I feel like im worrying over nothing. And i am!
I also really want a hug from the people online. Theyre more of a family than my irl family ever will be. I dont want to see my irl family ever again. I just want to run away to Cali to see my s/o.
Most of my family probably wont support me being genderfluid , omi , ace , or demi. They probably dont know what any of that is. I wish i could tell my grandpa bc i figure he would be supportive. But hes dying. And the grandma that would most likely be supportive is dead.
i wanna be confident. I wanna want to live.
AND PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE GRADES ARE TJE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD!! ITS NOT LIKE IT DEFINES MY PERSONALITY!! I REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT A STUPID FUCKING LETTER OKAY??? I COULDNT CARE LESS ABOUT GETTING AN F. I ALREADY KNOW IM A FAILURE ALL I NEED IS THE F TO PROVE IT. MAYBE THIS IS WHERE THE FEELING OF NEVER BEING ENOUGH COMES FROM! BC IT NEVER SEEMS TO BE ENOUGH. A? NO YOU NEED ME TO BE BETTER BECAUSE YOU ARENT GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE. AT LEAST IM FUCKING TRYING ANYMORE. YOURE LUCKY I HAVENT COMPLETELY GIVEN UP AND GIVEN YOU A STUPID FUCK UP. PLEASE STOP CARING ABOUT A STUPID LETTER IT DOESN'T MATTER.
and dont take my cat. yes she throws up a lot. but can she control her fucking digestive system!? no! that cat is one of the things keeping me alive because i know the first thing you would do is get rid of her if i died. and who knows where you would put her and what that would do. and how long she would live.
AND WHY DO YOU PUNISH ME FOR BEING MEAN!? MY SISTER ANNOYS ME AND YOU SAY "shes your younger sister, its what they do." BUT WHEN IM MEAN I GET IN TROUBLE. WHEN BEING THE MEAN OLDER SISTER IS TJE STEREOTYPE. BUT OFC YOU FAVOR THE YOUNGEST. AND YOU ACKNOWLEDGED IT!
also i believe that people take long hot showers to replace the missing warmth from lack of whatever bc i take showers rlly hot and long.
also im tired of having different personalities. idk what to do. i want one personality. please.
okay im done im sorry im sorry im sorry.
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marchingfluterino · 7 years ago
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championships and friday game things!!
friday game:
before practice me matt and annabeth were in a practice room and miguel walks past and looks in and we all look back at him
and then he comes back and pokes his head in and says, “you guys want some sauce?”
and he comes in and takes his hot sauce and some break out of hi pockets and starts like, drug dealing it to matt and annabeth bc he’d gotten it banned
and he tells me to get in front of the door
then later he takes us into the practice room he was in and. he had a whole computer in there. like with a tower and everything
it was wild
then noah was there!!!!!! it was lit im glad noahs back
hes been in the hospital since bandcamp and obviously hes had his treatment but he still needs to take it easy
hes pit tho so thats good
it was my section leader + her twin sister the trombone section leader’s birthday
and also daryl (ben kukunas) the band fish’s birthday
i love DBK hes so cool
i didnt even know he existed until friday tho
then at the game we got there and u could hear piccolos (6, i counted)
and i was like !!!!!!! :OOOOO!!!!! i wanna do that
and max, resident tubist for the cavaliers, was like “no theyre so screechy”
and we got into an argument over whats better lmao
then at halftime after we went the (HUGE) other band got cheered for REALLY loud by their student section
like wtf i want that
and turns out they were really exciting
like bad, but exciting
lots of dancing and spinning and running and screaming
it was demoralizing tbh
they didnt have pit but they had drumline + marching marimbas
my mom marched that in 10th grade
after halftime noah did the band dance and it was SO FUCKIN LIT!!!!!!
he made us do some classic band dance stuff that we did w the drum majors while he was gone but we also did a bunch of other stuff like basically the bird
at one point he actually LAID DOWN ON THE FLOOR it was SO FUCKIN LIT
then we sang happy birth to ellie and vicky and dbk
hannah’s mellophone got knocked over and it had a flat dent it in and i said to her, “hannah, i think ur lookin a lil flat”
pat got one of those bags of those snack size bags of chips and started like handing them out to staff
u could tell he was tryin to be secretive about it but it wasnt working
he then zipped the big bag into his jacket
at one point i actually yelled “HEY PAT WHATS IN YOUR SHIRT”
and he couldnt tell it was me but he like did a glare
then later i went up with the saxes bc theyre always p lit
i had a stand off with josh where we’d like play notes at each other and like do weird poses
like dogs when theyre playin
then at one point my instrument broke AGAIN
screaming into our instruments
on the us ride back this one car NYOOOOOOMED past us really FUCKIN loud
then a second car did the same thing
it was wild
saturday championships:
LAST PRACTICE.......... EVER. RIP
not actually tho, only for the seniors
actually wait, it was the last REGULARLY SCHEDULED practice OF THE SEASON for the seniors
i gave daryl the bingo sheets
i noticed ben was like dci-style running across the field with bent legs to get to the set where we’re all on / posing around the boxes
he’s really tall and yet he was far enough away
it looked really comical
but like, i have to backwards march sorta like that to get to some of my sets in the closer as well so
at the competition there was this other band next to our bus and
clarissa: stop being so judgmental caitlin (a colorguard instructor): their guard uniforms are ugly though
apparently roman asked max to zip him up and he ACTUALLY DID
after getting our uniforms on and stuff we passed this other band that was going to the stadium and me and this one kid who had a piccolo like pointed to our instruments and grinned like “SAME HAT!!!”
there was this other band warming up that literally fuckin did hallelujah and dont stop believin. it was wild
the band before us did bohemian rhapsody and, according to my mom, their theme was rhapsodies and before that they’d done rhapsody in blue.
yes. by george gershwin. what the fuck
max came down our two line giving everyone fistbumps and i was at the back and when he fistbumped me i said “piccolos are better than tubas” lmao
while we were marching on some people in the stands were screaming like “DARYL!!!” and “EVAN HATTRICK” (but with mr hee hees real last name)
like i was STRUGGLING not to laugh it was so Fucking funny
i only made one mistake this time!!
when we went back to our trailer + buses to take off our uniforms + get our windsuits and money i told max my drum corps joke
me: hey max do ya wanna hear a drum corps joke max: no me: yeah ya do! whaddaya call someone who only starts liking a drum corps when they start winning? max: a... blue devil me: a BANDWAGONER
i got two videos during this and one was of glenna and quinn but the other one was. god
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this is an Actual screenshot of it and honestly it is Such a Masterpiece. Matt’s FUCKING dab. max’s look of disappointment. pat’s fucking face like he’s like shading someone or something. paul’s face like he’s just given up on literally everything.
like. literally the video was just max leaning into the frame from behind matt while i’m yelling “WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR DOTBOOK YOU LOSER” and then matt reverse whipping as he says “i thought i had my phone and now” and then max turns around again RIGHT AS matt says “i wanna die” and dabs
these brass guys tried to give multiple staff members a white paper bag. what was in the bag, you may be wondering?
one (1) hot dog, free of bun, and a couple fries.
mr beaver, opening the bag: “this is disgusting”
they actually had lost the bun and found it like twenty minutes later
this one 4a band did a show called “phobias: what are you afraid of” and it was REALLY COOL
the phases of the show were spiders / snakes / water / being alone / loud noises / fire and it was VERY good
they had spiderwebs on the pit’s instruments and spiderweb props that were like ropes with a guard member in the center and a marcher at each end, and the color guard also had stuffed snake props and blue and red flags for water and fire respectively. they also did sabrework and had these cool dark / light gray flags
they also had a trumpet soloist for snakes and a trombone soloist as well as an INCREDIBLE flute soloist for water. fuck
for loud noises they had some normal volume stuff and then all of a sudden FUCking THIRTY-SEVEN FS
they had two big props that were the same at the front of each side of the field that said the name of their show in big white letters, and in small white a bunch of fears and in middling size in red the phases. i sat right behind max and he was being judgy about that and salting about how that made the show less exciting or whatever lmao
then a 3a band (same class as us) did a beethoven show with a tiny bit of moonlight sonata in the beginning and then beethoven’s fifth, then fur elise and finally ode to joy
it was so fucking good. what business do they have marching to beethoven and making it that fucking good
i asked max and he said that him leaning into the frame during the video was on purpose lmao
we were on the same bus so beka gave me her hanger and windsuit pants to take back there
BUT
i had to take them onto the field
michael took the pants and put them in his pocket after folding them really compactly
i had the hanger in my jacket the whole time
(clarissa found out about the flute-in-my-sleeve scenario and got mad about it)
anyway i kept opening my jacket and going “hey u want a hanger”
even when we got to mingle with other bands
we also talked to someone from the band with the hella amazing bari sax soloist / drum major and she said that everyone in the band is attracted to him
also guess who we told about that guy being called sax daddy
lmao
there was a fucking Long conga line
also on the way back to the buses, on the Road Of High Fives, this one kid from another band yelled “tell miguel to go to hell for the hot sauce” I CANT BELIEVE THIS. HE WAS DRUG DEALING HIS HOT SAUCE TO OTHER BANDS FUCK
also ppl were taunting paul (a dentist) about dentistry on the way back. “i only floss at dentist appointments!” someone yelled from the back of the bus. paul puts his head in his hands in despair
percussion started doing the cadence on the seats
we started chanting “DARYL! DARYL! DARYL!” when we got to the school and mr hee hee said “why are we chanting for a fish” OH MY GOD
and. that’s it i guess.
end of the season
we’ve still got at least two more games to go to, since we made it into playoffs, and the disney trip, and november practices, but. that’s it for competitions and full runs for this year.
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whatisntgrace · 8 years ago
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Emoji Asks
🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone? i dont really have any that ive never told anyone ?
💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? my damn self. that bitch deserves a hug
🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why? Raikou ultimately, because the uniqueness and individuality it embodies. Sylveon for mostly same reasons
🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? gay probably
👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had? i havent dreamt recently enough for me to remember anything
☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend? she’s always willing to support me and give me answers 
😘 talk about your crush or partner: pass lol
💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back? only if they were someone in which deserved it ?? 
🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!): my style, my individuality, and my so-called “evolved” mentality
🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? rejection and abandonment, and as i went through it recently, i overcome it by occupying myself with things that make me feel like im a valuable, worthwhile human being
🎁 what never fails to make you happy? listening to music i like or online shopping/browsing 
💙 what annoys you about some people? incompetence or inability to work well with others despite differences
😤 do you get angry easily? if youre someone i value then no but if youre someone i rarely talk to or dont know that well then yeah
🐇 what do you always daydream about? myself in the future, who i’ll be with and what i’ll be doing, whether im successful or not
🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?  overall disputes with views on current issues, more quiet places, less stealing and robbery
✈️ what is your dream city and why? San Francisco or Los Angeles, mostly because every time I’ve visited each I feel a connection with the atmosphere there
☕️ talk about your ideal day: waking up at 7am, taking a shower, grabbing starbucks, drawing something amazing, watching a favorite movie, going shopping with my friends, and going to bed with comfy fluffy blankets
🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert? ambivery but i lean towards extrovery mostly because im not too shy around anyone anymore
💧 when was the last time you cried? yesterday bc my stepmom stole 60$ from me (:
🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment: Rooting for My Baby- Miley Cyrus, Dirty Sexy Money- The Struts, You Have a Hold on My Heat- RVR, and That’s What I Like- Bruno Mars
⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why? shape-shifting, because i find it interesting how you could be multiple things and change into others at will
💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME TO TERMS WITH YOUR SEXUALITY
💚 who are you jealous of and why? anyone who has rly good makeup and a lot of it because... pls
💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why? bravery, because thats something id say i lack a lot and probably wouldve helped me in the past 
🙊 what are you ashamed of? my family 
🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn? i know english and spanish but learning french sounds ight
🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be? Augustus Waters mostly bc he seemed so awesome to be around and just an overall good influence on mood
☁️ talk about your dream universe. basically something aesthetically out of vaporwave that sounds so cool ( i hate vaporwave music though please spare me)
💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?  i cleaned my house so there u go 
🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why? a rly fat orange cat, bc i love orange cats and being a fat lazy cat just sounds so awesome. no responsibilities (,:
🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike: i fucking HATE when people think they can walk all over me or just say something to get me to shut up. like, honestly im stronger than that
😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately: my future, even though i daydream about it a lot it scares me to think it could all be something i never wanted or not something that will help me achieve my dream
🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now? i wanted to be a teacher up until middle school, but now i want to be some sort of artist (maybe work for cartoon network or produce designs for cartoon characters?)
🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods? i LOVE ice cream and chocolate covered pretzels. lollipops too 
🍑 what are you obsessed with? The Weeknd and what whole dark glowy aesthetic, but also the rosy, gold aesthetic. I also love sailor moon and some animes
💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed? i break down almost? not that badly, but i fear that ill never get the work done or what i have to do is too overwhelming 
😪 what are you sick of? being treated like nothing less than shit by my own family
🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker? in some ways yes but i wouldnt do certain things to feel adrenaline (sky diving, bungee jumping, rollercoasters)
💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have? i like miley cyrus’ new music (some-most of it), cold is better than warm, ugly, conceptual art is better than pretty, flat art
☔️ would you consider yourself a good person? in most aspects yes, but i do see myself become a bad person at times 
😊 what do you like to do as hobbies? i mostly draw i guess
🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself? i dont believe you by p!nk
🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it? i am the WORST at explaining or venting my feelings, mostly because theyre just hard to describe and when i do i feel them so strongly theres nothing to do but feel them rather than talk about them
🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored? eyes and little cats or characters
🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? the fear of ruining my school career 
🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you? enfp????? i think it perfectly describes me because im extroverted and feeling as heck
👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? Dakota Blue Richards (shes beautiful and just all around a great person id like her to b my gf), Abel Tesfaye (The Weeknd, he’s such an awesome person and he makes even better music)
🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person? ABSOLUTELY. i get super happy then super sad and i always am sympathetic and empathetic, i dont cry at movies/books tho ?
😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help? i listen to sad music when im sad, and if i find a song that i actually like ill start listening to songs i like and i usually feel better
😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad? that better things will come and that im a person that is so different from anyone else 
🌍 which country do you live in? america 
🐧 describe yourself in 3 words: emotional, generous, creative
💭 do you keep a diary? i did when i was younger but i feel like i should
💫 who inspires you? my friends 
👻 do you believe in ghosts and why? i somewhat do but not the possess, evil type. just roamin in the afterlife ??
🎀 what’s your fashion sense like? i dont have any specific taste but i do like color blocking and windbreakers, along w embroidered pants and boots
🎬 what are some of your favourite films? Big Eyes, Kill Bill Vol. 1+2, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and Burlesque 
🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory? my dad taking me to preschool one day and i had headphones on watching spongebob and i had a hot chocolate in my carseat cupholder. the life tbh
🐱 what’s your dream pet like? a big fat cat that just lays with me and is basically my partner in crime, or a huge dog that is playful and also fluffy
🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be? Nicki Minaj because I bet she’s so good to be around
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