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sushigirlali · 1 year ago

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No Body, No Crime - Part IV (Reylo Fanfic)

Summary: Assassin!Rey Palpatine is on her first mission for the evil Darth Sidious. The goal is simple: kill Prince!Ben Solo by any means necessary.

Pairing: Rey + Ben Solo

Rating: E

Continuity: Canonverse AU

A/N: This chapter ended up being longer than I intended whoops! You’re welcome haha 😆

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

——————

No Body, No Crime - Part IV

By: sushigirlali

——————

Hanna City, Chandrila

Morning

——————

Ben knocked on the bathroom door when Rey failed to emerge twenty minutes later. “Rey?” he called. “Are you alright? May I come in?”

“Yes,” was her muffled reply.

Curious, he slid open the door. “Rey?” he said again when he didn’t immediately see her.

“In here!”

Realizing she must be in his walk-in closet, Ben crossed the room. “What are you–oh, Force–what happened?” Sitting on the floor of his closet, a hurricane of clothing surrounding her, Ben could clearly see the young woman behind the assassin.

Rey had the grace to look guilty as he took in the absolute disaster before him. Numerous shirts, robes, pants, and other accessories lay strewn around the closet on top of stools, shelves, and on the floor. And was that a slipper hanging off an antique wall sconce?

“Hey, so… I just thought–um–maybe, I could dress you too?” she said sheepishly. “And then I couldn’t figure out how to match the pieces together or what colors you like or if it would clash with whatever you picked out for me and… yeah.”

Her earnest explanation instantly melted his shock into bemusement. “Need a hand? You look like you’re about to drown in silk.”

“No,” she glared, “I can do it.”

“You sure? People consider me to be pretty fashionable around here,” he teased.

“Don’t believe everything your mother tells you,” she shot back.

“Ouch, sweetheart, that stings,” he laughed.

It felt good to be able to joke with her, to talk of less serious things than war. Further, they seemed to share an interest in beautiful things. Although it was unlikely Rey had ever been able to express herself freely on Exegol, he hoped in time she would develop a fashion sense all her own. But until then, Ben was happy to play dress up.

“So, what outfit am I wearing today?” she said casually.

Pretending he didn’t know what she was doing, that she wasn’t asking for his help, he confidently strolled to the opposite side of the closet to select a flowy dress dyed with an ombre of yellow, pink, and purple. It was another one of his grandmother’s and a personal favorite.

Dramatically brandishing the ostentatious dress, he smiled when she eyed the length and quantity of fabric. “I think this will do nicely for a casual jaunt around town. Don’t you?”

——————

“Yeah, I can really tell you’re going for casual,” Rey said several minutes later as Ben intricately twisted and styled her hair. Not that she would ever admit it, but his work looked beautiful from her vantage point in front of his vanity mirror. And what’s more, it made her feel beautiful.

“My mother tells me I’m a natural at recreating the hairstyles of her homeworld,” he informed her. “And yes, I believe her.”

Rey rolled her eyes, half in amusement and half in self defense. The way Ben’s fingers were moving in her hair, and occasionally diverted to massage her neck and shoulders, was slowly driving her crazy. Plus, there were the sounds he was making…

“Oh, yeah,” he basically moaned, pleased with whatever braid he was tying off. “This might just be my best work yet.”

At his statement, something unpleasant occurred to her. “Have you done this a lot?”

“Braided hair?” he said absently. “Sure.”

“How many times?” she scowled.

“Dozens.”

“With how many partners?”

“Huh?” He looked up then.

“How many partners have you—you hoodwinked with this whole hair styling seduction routine?” she demanded.

“I’m sorry, but—what?”

Rey batted away his hands and turned around on the plush vanity stool to face him. “Tell me the truth.”

“Rey, there has never been anyone else for me.” His dark eyes implored her to believe him.

“Then who—your mother,” she said in sudden understanding. “Right. Okay.” Rey turned back around to stave off further embarrassment. “Finish up, then, or your servants are going to think I’m holding you hostage in here. They’ve knocked an absurd number of times about breakfast.”

He hesitated for a moment, then slid one last hair pin in place and pronounced her done. “Let’s go get you something to eat, sweetheart, you sound a bit peckish.”

“Don’t coddle me,” she sniffed, rising to inspect the finished product in the mirror. “Nice.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He adjusted the all black attire she had picked out for him to wear, smoothing out the long, pleated tunic tucked underneath a thick belt.

The solid block of dark clothing really made the most of his pale features if she did say so herself. “It’s like we’ve switched clothing,” she mused, an unbidden sense of ownership lancing through her.

“And I’m not apologizing for… misunderstanding earlier,” she insisted out loud.

“Wasn't asking you to,” he said, throwing a matching black cloak over his broad shoulders.

“And even if there had been 100 others before me getting their hair played with after a night in your bed I wouldn’t care.”

Ben bit his plush lower lip and suddenly she didn’t want to leave his room after all. “Good to know.”

Deep down, she knew he wasn’t fooled by her false bravado, but it felt better to pretend indifference rather than admit how much she cared. “Let’s go, prince, I’m starving.”

When he offered his arm, like he often did, she took it, compromising that allowing him to guide her to the correct room was the most direct line to breakfast.

“I’m a terrible liar,” she thought, keeping the concession internal. “To him, and to myself.”

Because she certainly was starving for something and it wasn’t food.

——————

After breakfast, Ben steered Rey toward the hospital. He knew everything was likely in hand, but he wanted to ensure Finn’s incoming stormtroopers—however many there were—had adequate care. Plus, there were a few existing patients to check on.

For her part, Rey was looking everywhere, eyeing people closely as they passed, suspicion dripping off her. The change in her demeanor was probably due to another conversation with his mother at breakfast.

Not known for her subtlety, Leia once again warned them about treading lightly in case of spies. “You never know who to trust,” she looked pointedly at Rey, “until the chips are on the table.”

“Now you sound like dad,” he’d replied, trying to head off a lecture.

“I’m only trying to protect you, son.”

“I know, mom.”

But he really wished she wouldn’t. He knew what he was doing, the Force was with him. Probably. And his dyad, well, she was coming around. Hopefully.

“Rey?” he called, catching up to the present. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she denied, stopping in front of the hospital doors and peering around to check if anyone was following them.

“It’s not nothing, you look like you’re about to pounce on the next person who comes within ten feet of us.”

“I’m not a loth-cat,” she dismissed, staring down a man in blue robes that had been walking toward them until he changed direction.

“Rey.”

She turned finally and looked him in the eye. “What?”

“Don’t take my mother too seriously. I doubt anyone could conceal themselves long enough to do any real harm here. There are soldiers and politicians and reformed stormtroopers everywhere.”

“You’re too trusting,” she frowned.

“You’re too cynical,” he sighed.

“Maybe, but my way will keep you safe.”

Ben touched her arm. “Rey, I do feel safe when I’m with you, but you needn’t worry about me. I’m Force-sensitive too, I can handle myself in a fight.”

“Too sensitive,” she muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“I was sent here to murder you,” she reminded him.

“Yeah, but—”

“And all you’ve done is leave yourself open. I could have killed you countless ways by now,” she informed him.

“But you haven’t. Rey, we—”

“And you returned my lightsaber!”

“I thought you’d… I wanted to show you that I trust you!”

“Ben, you can’t just assume the best of people all the time,” she reprimanded. “Me, Finn, tons of other stormtroopers you’ve never even met… come on.”

“Come on what?” He crossed his arms across his broad chest. “You’re not even wearing your lightsaber. You left it in the room.”

“A decision I’m definitely regretting right now.”

“Rey—”

“Good morning!”

Turning to Kaydel, who’s sunny head was peeking out of the front door to the hospital, Ben mentally took a deep breath. Though he was happy to see his friend, the interruption was ill-timed.

“Good morning, Kaydel,” he said with forced enthusiasm.

Rey remained silent, scrutinizing the blonde with narrow eyes.

“I was just coming to find you! Thanks for making my job easier,” she grinned.

“No problem. What’s up?”

“I’ve been told that you and your lady should take the day off,” she recited.

Ben frowned. “Told by who?”

“Your uncle.”

“Hmm.” Ben wondered what the old man was up to. “But what about the preparations for the new patients? The ones already here? I should at least check on them.”

Kaydel shook her head. “We’ve got you covered. Several of the stormtroopers who arrived with Finn are medics. Combined with the other Force healers and doctors we already have on staff, we have all the help we need and more.” She paused, taking in their outfits. “By the way, did you two switch clothing or something?”

“Kind of,” Ben smiled. “What do you think?”

“You make a perfect pairing, you’ll have perfectly cute babies,” his friend teased. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Ben didn’t look at Rey, but he could feel her tense like a drawn bow. “Something like that,” he said noncommittally, wanting to defuse the situation before it became one.

“Well, I’ll take my leave,” she replied, perceptive as ever. “We’ve got it covered here, so go enjoy your day, Senator Overachiever.”

“If you’re sure?”

“I am.”

“Okay. Thanks, Kaydel.”

“Oh, and speaking of, the senate isn’t meeting today either.”

“Wait, what? Since when?”

“Since now!”

“Kaydel—”

“See you later! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She winked before closing the door with a decisive snap.

“Uh—bye,” he said lamely before turning back to Rey. “Hey, I’m sorry about what she said. Do you want to talk—”

——————

“She knows about us,” Rey murmured as soon as they were alone again.

“Not exactly,” he replied. “Kaydel knows you’re important to me, but not any… specifics.”

“Did you tell her we met at a bar or a casino or fruit stand or something?” she said sardonically.

“No, I just—a fruit stand? Really?” He chuckled sweetly like she intended. His laugh was quickly becoming synonymous with needing air to breath. “What’s your favorite kind of fruit, anyway?”

“I don’t know, I’m not sure I’ve ever had real fruit.”

“What? What!” Ben looked outraged. Taking her hand, he quickly steered her toward a small market near the hospital.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

But he didn’t answer, weaving in and out of the crowd and towing her behind until they were standing in front of a Twi’lek couple and several heaping mounds of… fruit.

“You can take whatever you want, I’m buying,” he told her.

“Oh! Oh, I don’t know…” But a ripe looking green shape stuck out to her. “What’s that?” she pointed.

One of the shop owners smiled and answered before Ben could. “A pear, dear. They’re not really in season right now, but my husband was able to nurture a few in our personal garden.”

“Did it take a lot of effort?”

“Tons, but it was worth it.”

“You’re giving them away, though?” Rey questioned. “Don’t you want any for yourself if they’re special?”

“We shared one, it was delicious, but sharing with the town is our privilege and duty—and much more lucrative than eating all the inventory,” she winked.

Rey was about to speak again when a ball tumbled into her foot. Looking around, she saw it was the same youngling she had played with the night before.

“Hi, lady!” the Twi’lek child beamed. “Do you want to play ball with us again?”

“Oh, um, well…”

“Do you know this young woman, son?”

The kid nodded enthusiastically. “She’s the one who scored three times in a row yesterday! And showed me how to kick like her! She’s fun!”

Something tight uncurled inside her, lightening her heart. “Fun? Her?”

“Very fun,” Ben agreed in her mind.

“Well then,” the woman smiled, “please take a pear on the house. Thank you for being so kind to my son.”

“Kind? Her?”

“You have a kind heart.” The warmth in his tone made her flush.

“I don’t know what to say,” Rey admitted. She was floundering, confused. How did one respond to overt kindness?

“Say thank you,” Ben instructed.

“Ah—thank you.”

“You’re welcome! I'm Twila, by the way.”

“Rey.”

Twila nodded and turned to Ben. “You’ve got a keeper here, Senator. Pretty and polite!”

“I know,” Ben said. Then, looking at Rey, “She’s beautiful, one of a kind.”

Rey felt like she might throw up. “Please, please stop complimenting me.”

“No,” he grinned. Stupidly. Like a lovesick—nope. No, no, no!

Rey accepted the fruit, made a hasty excuse to the child that she’d play later, and zoomed away into the crowd, spies be damned.

——————

Ben lengthened his stride to keep up with Rey’s billowing skirts. “Rey, wait up, let’s talk about this.”

“Which ‘this’ is that?” she tossed over her shoulder. “Darth Sidious? Our weird connection? My inability to take a compliment?”

“Rey!” He didn’t want to make a scene, but maybe that was exactly what she needed. “Look, I know this—us—has been a lot, but—”

She whirled around, grabbed the front of his robes, and shoved him backward into an alley. Her mouth covered his before he was able to mutter another word. Putting their practice from the previous night to good use, Rey kissed him so thoroughly Ben felt his knees begin to shake.

“Rey,” he groaned, wrapping her up tight. “Rey, I’m sorry.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “What for?”

“For leaving you alone with him all these years. I should have come after you, I should have saved you,” he agonized.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t take that from me. I survived. I’m still surviving.”

“But—”

She placed a finger over his lips. “No, that’s not for you to take onto your shoulders. I may not have had an easy upbringing, but I’m who I am because of it.”

“I love who you are,” he said vehemently. “My dreams have nothing on the reality of you.” Rey’s eyes were bright, but he could tell she was struggling to accept his words. “We will have to work on your acceptance of compliments, though, sweetheart.”

She laughed, and the sound was like music. “After this whole war thing is over, maybe we will.”

——————

Afternoon

——————

They walked arm in arm toward his uncle’s house in compatible silence. Rey’s emotions were still settling, he could feel the conflict in her, but she seemed to be on better footing after their kiss. In fact, Ben felt more grounded himself.

Luckily, they had the afternoon off and Rey agreed that speaking with the infamous Luke Skywalker was the next logical step in figuring out their connection. And getting a sense of her grandfather’s greatest nemesis would be educational for her in its own right, he mused.

“Hey, your majesty?” Rey slowed her pace as they passed a couple of elderly senators.

“Yeah?”

“Why are those guys looking at me like that?”

Immediately on alert, he traced her gaze. “Oh, those two? My mother knows them. They happened to be off-world when Alderaan was destroyed.”

“Okay, but why are they staring? Is something wrong? Did I mess up your grandmother’s dress?”

“No, nothing like that. I think it’s because, um…” Ben felt his cheeks heat. “I may have used some very traditional, very formal braiding techniques when I did your hair this morning.”

“They’re staring because of my hair? Why?” She looked skeptical. “I saw it, it’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you think so,” he grinned.

She huffed out a breath. “Don’t get used to it. And don’t change the subject!”

“Well…”

“Ben Solo!”

He held his hands out in a placating manner. “These particular braids might also maybe be kind of used exclusively during… wedding ceremonies.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Rey pinched the bridge of her nose like a headache was oncoming. “Is that why your mom was so bent out of shape this morning and going on about spies and trust and shit?”

“Probably,” he said sheepishly, “but she’ll get over it.”

“But will I?” Rey shot him a look of mock outrage. “I might actually have to kill you now. And I was just beginning to change my mind. Such a shame.”

“Don’t worry,” he grinned, “I’ll make it up to you later.”

——————

“Well, I have to say I’m disappointed,” Rey muttered.

“Maybe we should knock harder?” Ben frowned. “Or just blast the door open.”

“He’s not here.”

��Yeah,” he said, “but it would make me feel better.”

Rey laughed. “I bet your mother would love that.”

“She’s been known to destroy door jams from time to time,” he chuckled. “But seriously, I wonder what the old man is plotting.”

“What do you mean?” Rey looked up at him.

“He didn’t want me working today, but isn’t here to answer questions now. It doesn’t make sense. Unless…”

“Unless?” she pressed.

“Unless he saw something,” Ben contemplated.

“A premonition?”

“Perhaps,” he said slowly. “Luke has been known to jet off to parts unknown to avoid interfering with the Force’s plans in the past.”

“You talk about the Force like it has consciousness,” she said, interest clear on her pretty face.

“I’m not an expert, I quit Jedi training when I was a teenager to pick up my many other hyphenated titles, but I do know that the Force is not a power you have. It’s the energy between all things, a tension, a balance… what?” He paused at Rey’s wide smile; he felt humbled that she was letting him see it. “What is it, Rey?”

“I don’t know, you seem different,” she said thoughtfully.

“You do too,” he returned. “Ever since…”

“The night we met,” she finished.

They stared at each other for long moments, their breathing slowly syncing up. Then their heart beats, their thoughts, and a simultaneous blooming deep in—

“Hey, if it isn’t my two favorite Jedi!” Finn bounded up to them and slapped them both on the back. “But don’t tell the General, okay?”

Ben sighed as if in severe pain, reaching for Rey’s arm. He was gratified when she looped hers through his once again. “Literally none of us are Jedi, Finn.”

“Not by any metric,” Rey glared, but she was half smiling too. It was hard to be annoyed with Finn, he knew.

“So, uh… I was wondering if you’d heard anything about Poe?” Finn asked quietly.

“Ah, the point emerges,” Ben replied. “All I know is he's running point on the bombers. They’re coordinating with Rose’s team for that other thing too.”

“Who’s Poe?” Rey queried.

“My boyfriend,” Finn said at the same time as Ben said, “A pain in my ass.”

“And what other thing?” she continued.

“This one doesn’t miss anything, does she?” Finn winked.

“She doesn't,” Rey confirmed.

At Ben’s nod of approval, Finn filled her in. “Our friend Rose is working another angle, she’s got a contact inside the First Order.”

“A spy?” Rey stood up straighter.

“Oh, don’t get her started,” Ben sighed.

“Shut up,” she said sweetly, then to Finn, “Please continue.”

“That’s about it, we’re just waiting for the final go ahead. However,” he lowered his voice, “I think Rose may come back with more than a hunky red-headed spy.”

“Huh?”

“I swear on the last holo it looked like they had just been fu—”

“Okay!” Ben intervened. “So, did my mother say when all the excitement is going to occur?”

“Sometime within the next few days,” Finn said somberly. “Could push to next week if there are any major issues.”

“Still, that’s so soon!” Rey exclaimed. “Why didn’t the senate meet today then?”

Ben and Finn exchanged a long look, then said in unison, “Spies.”

——————

Evening

——————

They spent the rest of the day bouncing around town, alternating between speaking in hushed tones to Finn and Leia as updates came in and introducing Rey to the locals. She wasn’t sure which conversations were the most productive, but all of them were exhausting.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she yawned when they retreated to Ben’s room after dinner.

“The same thing that’s wrong with all of us,” Ben responded as he locked the door and walked to the bed. He sat down and removed his boots and socks.

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“The near constant feeling of flight or fight, except you can’t escape what’s coming and the fight never seems to arrive,” he said sagely.

She mulled over his words for a minute. “That actually makes sense.” Then, smirking, “Surprised you thought of it, your highness.”

“Brat,” he said affectionately.

The look on his face, sort of soft and dreamy, made her tingle all over. What’s more, she wanted him too. It was a tough pill to swallow, even after last night, but she did. If truth be told, she’d never wanted anything so badly, not even the acceptance she once sought from Darth Sidious.

Ben made wanting him easy, made wanting a future outside of the grim reality of her childhood seem possible, and she was tired of resisting his gravitational pull. It had only been two days, but it already felt like she’d lived a lifetime with him.

“Remember what you promised earlier?” she said in what she hoped was a seductive tone.

“That I’d make it up to you?” His dimpled smile told her that she had succeeded.

“It’s later,” she said softly. Then, not so softly, “Take off your shirt.”

Dark eyes twinkling, Ben stood and unclasped first his cloak and then his belt. The black shirt took a moment longer as he worked the invisible side zipper down and pulled it over his head. His hair was mused after, but she barely noticed, staring at the wide swath of skin now exposed from the waist up.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” she breathed.

Smiling, he moved behind her. She started to turn, but he grasped her shoulders and stopped her. His palms were warm and teasing, kneading her tight muscles for a moment before tracing the back of her neck. She shivered before she could control her reaction.

“May I?” he asked huskily, touching the back of the metallic collar holding her dress up.

Excitement raced through her, anticipation trumping the weariness of the day. She tilted her head forward, allowing him to undo the clasp. He smoothed the fabric down her body, which pooled in a mass of multicolored silk at her feet. Ben’s hands crept back up her sides, circled around her stomach, then captured her small breasts.

“Do you like the lingerie I picked out for you?” he rumbled, pressing his massive chest to her back.

His deep voice rolled through her, and all she could do was nod. The matching butter yellow lace set was comfortable despite its delicacy and she could at least admit to herself that wearing such beautiful garments boosted her confidence. “Who knew?” Ben Solo apparently.

He teased her nipples through the thin fabric, lightly pinching her stiff peaks until she was arching against him. “Can I take it off?” He tried to sound in control, but the fine tremor in his voice betrayed his eagerness.

“Yes,” she managed, his desire reinforcing her own.

She made a disappointed sound when he stepped back and he chuckled. But just as she was about to complain, he released the catch of her bra and let it drop to the floor. Within seconds he was pressed against her again, touching her bare breasts, kissing the side of her neck, letting his appreciation of her body be known…

“I’ve touched your penis, but somehow this is more intimate,” she said with unconscious humor.

Ben’s chest shook against her back and he broke out in a cross between a laugh and a groan.

“What?”

“I’m trying to pamper you, so let’s try to ignore my penis for now.” Ben’s breath tickled her ear in a strangely delightful way.

“I’ve never been pampered before,” she said coyly, pushing her hips backward into his.

He hissed as his cock made contact with her ass. “Rey,” he said warningly.

“I can’t help that I feel restless,” she whined, “I should be doing something too.”

“You are doing something,” he stated.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, slipping one large hand down her stomach and under the waistband of her panties, “you’re making it difficult to think of anything but putting my tongue inside you.”

“Oh!” she squeaked as two long fingers circled her damp opening.

“Is that something you want?” he whispered against her ear.

“I—I don’t know,” she said shakily, leaning back into his big body again, wanting to feel his hardness, his heat.

“Rey,” he admonished softer this time.

“Please, let me feel you,” she whispered back. “I–oh, Force! Ben!” Rey clutched him as his fingers slid into her body, one hand on his forearm and the other on his hip.

“I can curl my fingers in just the right way with you standing like this,” he nearly growled, demonstrating his point to mind-numbing perfection. “Do you like it this way? Tell me if you like what I’m doing to your body.”

“Yes! Yes!”

For all his pedigree, Ben’s bedside manner was intense bordering on domineering. He was all around her, inside her, body and mind. “What do you need?” His thumb circled her clitoris, first lightly and then urgently. “This? Do you need this? Need me?”

“Yes! Ben! Please!”

She was out of her mind, in his, floating on a wave of euphoria as his fingers strummed her body like a finely tuned instrument. “You’re nearly there, sweetheart. You’re so responsive, so sexy, everything I’ve ever wanted.”

The next caress had her screaming as his words and ministrations merged into a feedback loop that built and built until an infinite stream of pleasure coursed through her. “Ben!”

——————

She was laying on the bed when she regained consciousness, Ben kneeling between her damp thighs. “Are you alright?” He looked worried, like he had done something wrong.

“Yes, but I–I’ve never felt this way before,” she admitted, needing to reassure him. “Ben, you’re…”

He smiled, bending to kiss her. Compared to how he’d just dominated her body, the kiss was sweet and comforting. “I’m glad. I lost you for a few minutes there and was afraid…”

“You never have to be afraid of making love to me,” she said, surprising them both. “I mean, um, I–”

“So, you wouldn’t be opposed to… a little more pampering?” His smile was wolflike.

“N–no.”

His hands went to her hips, caressing the sides of her underwear. “I want to taste you.”

“Okay,” she gulped. “If you really want to.”

“I want to.”

Eyeing the front of his black trousers, she could believe it. “Oh!” she gasped when he bent to pull her underwear off with his teeth. “Force, Ben! That’s–I like that.”

He looked up from under his unfairly long lashes. “I like you.” Stuffing her panties into his back pocket, Ben grasped her knees and spread her legs wide. “Damn. Look how wet you are, sweetheart.”

Her breathing quickly grew labored as he stared at her pussy like a man starving. “Is it normal?”

“How we feel about each other?” Ben said absently, easily grasping her meaning. He leaned down to kiss the inside of her thighs, seeming to breathe in her scent before delicately touching his tongue to the hood of her clitoris. “No, it’s not normal. It’s extraordinary.”

Laying back, letting him do what he wanted to her, Rey realized that Palpatine had given her a gift. He couldn’t comprehend human emotions, it was clear to her now. And although she still didn’t quite understand what a dyad was, she knew how it felt. And it was, in fact, extraordinary.

——————

Later, she traced her fingers down his chest to rest on the prominent bulge tenting his high waisted pants. “What about you?”

He captured her wrist and brought her hand to his lips. “Just lay with me,” he murmured, pulling her closer. “I just want to be close to you.”

Rey closed her eyes, trying to contain the riotous emotions surging through her. He loved her. She knew it in an instant. He loved her.

“Ben,” she whimpered, curling toward him. Nobody had ever loved her before.

“Shh, it’s alright. I'm here.”

She clutched him tighter, throwing an arm and leg over his body like the night before. But this time she fell into a dreamless sleep, safely resting with her cheek over his heart.

——————

A/N: The story is wrapping up, and I promise a nice big bow 😁 Hope y’all are enjoying it! Feels good to write again after tros.

#reylo #kylo ren #ben solo #rey #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #sushigirlali #my fanfiction

5 notes · View notes

ohdudedhesflirting · 1 year ago

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The problem is this society is that it a capitalist one. Productivity is more important then well being and that is something which I deplore immensely

Agree. Though I hate it more when companies say they have a good work life balance and care about their employees when they don’t really. Some are better for sure. But I guess no one would want to somewhere that’s like “we don’t really care about you…” idk idk maybe I just like complaining

Omg wow so you are aged then ? That’s so impressive ! Congratulations for going to the next door I am very proud of you darling. And yes do take some time off to focus on work 💛

I'm assuming you meant "round" instead of "door" 😬

I’ll still be on Tumblr to talk to my moots when I’m taking a break from being an adult (but I’ll try to make my convos short because sometimes when I intend to talk to people for like 10 to 20 minutes, it becomes like an hour instead whoops lol) so I can get motivated to go to work.

Oooh so you are writerrrr I hope I read some of your work !

I’m an illiterate writer but that is a writer lmao.

A job in the public industry might be good because I think you will a job that is safe and well paid ! I believe in you for those interviews you are going to be amazing !

THANK YOU 🫶 Regardless of the result, it’ll be good practice at least. In my field and country, the pay is a lot lower but at least it's secure and has a good pension apparently?? Less stressful for sure.

I love that IU song I think it’s one of her best one ! I don’t know most of those lol but I’m gonna take a listen to them and see if I like them as well <3 I recognize some the title but I’m not sure I actually know them and I don’t like that le serafim song it somehow gets in my nerves ? Like I’m a mess mess mess part makes my blood BOIL

Which IU song? I think I listed like three? 😝

OOOO..can you tell me why you don’t like that leserrafim song? I want to know (and I’ll try to recommend songs away from that for you). I personally didn’t like it at first but it’s grown to me.

I’ve actually listened to all songs before except the first one (L’enfer by Stromae) so I'll listen to it today. I really like STAYC for their vocals. I’m okay with Enhyphen lol. xikers has potential. And speaking of xikers, I’m thinking of going to KCON LA this year (most likely for the Saturday concert and if I can get meet and greet tickets. Some sources say its random while some say you can pic. Its kind of a mess but it’ll likely be the only chance I get ZB1 because I’m too scared to go to concerts in South Korea and Japan).

🤙 anon

For me when a company, a school, or a university say they are a family it’s when it’s the worst... Will from my experience that’s when it was worse ! They are no good companies that actually care ? They pretend to but they actually don’t. But at least when they are pretending it’s a little bit better ? Idk how to explain

I did meant round I am sorry. Time managing is hard and I am proud of you for tying ! I’m sure it will work towards the way you want it to ! i’m cheering for you 💛

You are not an illiterate writer. For me there is no such thing as that and get ready for a sappy moment but writing is hard, very hard and having people read it is hard as well. Taking the courage of writing is something and many people get stuck. So don’t you are illiterate. I am sure you are brilliant.

If you allow let me tell you a bit about my story with writing. (You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to). I always write stuff, when I was a kid and I didn’t like the ending of a good I would take a pen and scribble over it. I was writing little stories as well. I started to write seriously when I was 13 yo. And I started writing 2 books at that moment (never finished them). I had some MAJOR health problems when I was 13-14-15 and I was doing very bad. Writing and reading helped me a lot. When I was around 17 I had ideas for a new book, I planned it and I wrote it. A whole book of more than 300 pages. My bay. I was 19 at that point and friends and my mom read it and loved it. I send it off to house of editions, and I was rejected. I think I must be at 7-10 rejections now ? Since then I feel sick whenever I try to write, what was once my comfort became something that me sick. Now I’m trying to get back to writing with those fanfic but the nauseous feeling is still there. (Lord I made myself sad lol)

Which is why I admire writers, writers that don’t give up, that kept on trying. So don’t say you are illiterate, i believe in you and I support you.

Job security is the real deal lemme tell you. And you are still young you can still have promotions !

It was the first IU song that was in the list. I have a terrible memory I am sorry.

For the lesserafim song it’s just aphas something in the melody that itches my brain the wrong way ? It’s the same for aespa songs actually every time I try to listen to one it make my brain itch in a bad way ? I guess it must be something in the melodies or the way the voices are arranged ?

Stromae is a Belgium singer/composer and he is amazing and the lyrics are always very deep ! Stayc vocals truly are amazing and I also think xikers have a lot of potential ! And I love enha I have two of their albums lol

First of all you are American ?? I feel like going to kcon would be an amazing experience and from what I remember the lineup is crazy ! If you feel like it’s your only chance to see them try and go for it ! That would be awesome memories ! (I totally get that going to Korea/ Japan is scary and could be very overwhelming!

Hydrate yourself a lot, eat a lot, take care I love you 💛

#🤙anon <3 #ohdudedhesflirting ask

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masked-puppetmaster · 3 years ago

Note

hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red

yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)

I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing

with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers

& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context

I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character

#Long post #ask #anon #red #tommyinnit #c!tommy #technoblade #c!techno #c!technoblade #DSMP #dream smp #Tommy apologist #technoblade apologist #I’m so sorry I talked way more than I intended to whoops !!!!#That’s my two cents

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sodamvelvets · 2 years ago

Text

“it’s not you i want- part two”

bae joohyun x fem reader, park sooyoung x fem reader (platonic)

highschool!au (everyone is 18) + fake dating

warnings: swears, a nonconsensual kiss, violence

summary: your feelings become muddled as your best friend’s plan begins to come to fruition, just not in the way either of you expected.

word count: 11,504

part one | part two

a/n: apologies for taking longer than i intended to with this part, i ended up rewriting a lot of it, but i think it was for the better. thank you everyone for your kind reception to the first part, and for waiting so patiently. additionally, i’m sorry about the length the original 7k word count i projected was heavily off, whoops. regardless, please enjoy ;)

Frustration fills you as you sulk to class, Sooyoung by your side and matching your every stride, and for once, she’s not the cause of your bad mood. Theoretically, you should be fairly pleased right now, there are only a few days left until your project is over, and better yet the end of your relationship with Sooyoung, but even those manners can’t manage to cheer you up, your thoughts too focused on tomorrow’s volleyball game, the first of a tournament that could eventually take you to regionals if you win all your matches. However, this doesn’t seem likely to you based on your teammates’ frequent blunders and overall incompetence during practice lately. Unlike you though, Sooyoung seems optimistic, reminding you often that the number of practices has doubled over the last week, leaving the team stretched thin and exhausted, which is why much to your displeasure, she’s canceled practice today.

“Seriously, Y/N?” Sooyoung calls to you as you purposely quicken your pace, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips as she jogs to keep up with you. “You know it was the right call.”

Still, you ignore her, not even acknowledging her presence until you’ve reached your classroom and headed to your seat, carelessly dropping your bag on the floor, but still remaining standing as you turn to face your best friend with crossed arms. “We’ll see if that stays true tomorrow.”

Sooyoung grins, and you can’t tell if it’s because you’re finally talking to her again or she’s just that sure of herself. “It will,” She assures. “Hey, have you asked her to the game yet?”

You fight back the urge to groan. Sooyoung has only become more determined over the past week and a half, especially after your study session with Joohyun, which after much pestering from her end, you had recounted to her in its entirety, well mostly. Your skin still warms at the memory of Joohyun’s lips on your cheek and while it might be important for your best friend to know, you thought it best to keep it to yourself for now as you remained unsure of Joohyun’s intentions. Plus, the fresh memory of last weekend and the transformation of Sooyoung’s dejected grimace to a hopeful smile when you had tentatively brought up the reason for her break up was still ingrained in your mind, the moment repeating itself tortuously every time you considered telling her.

“But ‘I think so’ means there’s some part of her that’s unsure about whoever she likes,” A soured expression crossed Sooyoung’s face before she continued optimistically. “That means I still have a chance.”

“That’s one way to look at it, “ You shrugged, ignoring your internal guilt for your doubtfulness as you concerned yourself with watching Sooyoung’s two younger sisters, Jiyeong and Minji, both of who were spitting images of your best friend and just as devious, while they played with the family dog at the nearby park, their elated squeals cutting through the humid spring air as they chased poor Haetnim in circles.

You had always enjoyed babysitting Sooyoung’s siblings with her, having a well-known soft spot for the two that often resulted in them convincing you to buy treats for them, and the pair of Melona wrappers in your hand made no exception to that, much to Sooyoung’s scolding.

“You’re such a downer Y/N,” Sooyoung groaned, poking your side, but the upwards curl of her lip told you she didn’t mean it.

“I try,” You deadpanned, prodding her back. Your eyes widened. “Shit! Minji!” You shouted after the younger girl as she lobbed something (that you could only hope was mud) at an unsuspecting Jiyeong, resulting in a loud cry as you ran after a giggling Minji trying to catch her before she could get into more trouble, while Sooyoung followed behind you, laughing the whole time.

“Y/N?” Sooyoung snaps her fingers at you, and you blink at the recollection, bathing in it. It felt nice, the mundaneness of it all, like everything was normal again. You promise yourself to savor the feeling. “Did you hear me? I asked if you-”

“No,” You reply shortly, cutting her off, your gaze flickering to the doorway to see if Joohyun is coming. “Not yet.” You can practically feel your best friend roll her eyes as she lets out an irritated sigh.

Bae Joohyun. Aside from Sooyoung and your volleyball team, she’s become your other problem lately. You’ve gotten to know the older girl quite well over the past two weeks, even better than how you previously knew her after your library study, and you’re not completely sure how but she’s managed to get you to open up too, something she seems fairly proud of, especially so when you told her you hadn’t made a friend since Seulgi. Truthfully, you’re surprised at how different Joohyun is from how you perceived her, she’s nowhere near as mature and reserved as you once believed, but rather bold and playful given the chance. She’s told you more about herself than you ever knew there was, and you’ve vowed to remember every part, from her favorite color being purple, to her hatred of coffee and chicken.

You feel almost guilty for not knowing this side of her already, despite orbiting in the same circles for a brief period, you never made an effort to get to know her, much to Sooyoung’s disappointment. You didn’t talk with her much you realize, not because you didn’t like her, but simply because you weren’t interested, you had a feeling she would be just another passing figure in Sooyoung’s life, so why bother with the formalities and fake conversations if they wouldn’t matter in three months. You never ignored her completely though, in fact occasionally during the times when Sooyoung would invite you along on a date with her and Joohyun in an attempt to get you to talk with the brunette you’d carry out short conversations, most of which were meaningless and all of them painfully uncomfortable. Looking back on it now, you regret not being more amiable.

But none of those moments were relaxed like the moments you have now. It’s nice having someone besides Sooyoung to share your life with. Yet it’s somehow also stressful, what was once a rarity now seems to be a commonality, the weird, inexplicable feeling you get around her during your average conversations to your most intimate moments. You’re not sure what it means, after all, you’ve only been truly in love once and your baseline idea of love doesn’t quite feel the same. This time it’s different, instead of a simple sense of euphoria, there’s now a constant buzzing deep in your chest too, and warmth in your heart. You don’t know what to call it currently, but you know you can’t tell Sooyoung about it, so you’re left alone to ruminate in your own thoughts, and the only thing you’ve become certain of is that it’s impossible not to get lost in everything about Joohyun. At least, you finally understand, just a bit, why everyone around you is so in love with her, and why Sooyoung is trying so hard to get her attention back.

“Why haven’t you invited her yet?” Sooyoung questions, reminding you of her original inquiry.

“I forgot,” You say honestly. “I’ll do it today.”

Sooyoung nods, accepting your answer, and the two of you begin talking about random things until Sooyoung obnoxiously clears her throat, motioning behind you. Rolling your eyes, you lightly punch her in the shoulder, before turning around to see Joohyun. She’s dressed more casually than usual today, wearing a loosely fitting sweatshirt and high-waisted jeans with her hair down in mused waves, a large contrast to her typical button-up blouse or knitted sweater. You can’t help the smile that briefly appears on your face as she approaches the two of you, her expression unexpectedly blank.

“Hi,” Joohyun looks between you and Sooyoung, who’s moved her hand to wrap around your waist. Joohyun’s jaw visibly clenches. “Sorry for interrupting,” she says, her voice taut.

You frown, tilting your head. Recently, you’ve started to notice the small things about Joohyun, like how she smells nearly everything she touches or constantly tucks her hair back while talking, and it certainly hasn’t escaped your attention that recently she’s become tense around Sooyoung, acting almost if she was upset by something your best friend was doing, or maybe it was you. The thought makes you deflate slightly.

Beside you, Sooyoung smirks, seeming to observe Joohyun’s reaction as well. “It’s fine, we were just finishing up.” Unexpectedly, your best friend’s lips are suddenly pressed against yours, and you’re barely able to register it before she pulls away, wearing a sickening grin on her lips. Your eyes immediately go to Joohyun, who’s staring at the two of you in disbelief and something else you can’t quite decipher. You find yourself numb to the anger you should be feeling, more consumed with worry as Joohyun’s gaze meets yours, and you swear you see a glimmer of hurt in her brown eyes before it’s gone, replaced by neutrality.

“No problem,” She says, her tone pleasant. “Let me know when you’re done,” She calls, walking away to go meet Jisoo.

“What the hell Sooyoung!” You exclaim, the shock wearing off as you pull out of her grasp, struggling to keep your temper from flaring now that Joohyun is gone. “Why would you do that?”

But Sooyoung doesn’t hear you, she’s far too caught up in celebrating Joohyun’s reaction to care about your annoyance. “She’s totally jealous.”

“Sooyoung, do you hear me?” You hiss, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at you, but you let go as soon as you notice your classmates’ eyes on you. “Why would you do that?” You repeat, evening out your voice.

The pleased grin Sooyoung wears fades at your words as her lips turn upward in an uncharacteristic sneer. “Why would I do that?” Sooyoung echoes, more mockingly than seriously. “You know exactly why, and I don’t see why you would suddenly care about it now. What, do you like Joohyun too?”

You're sure she didn’t mean the last part, but you still turn away unable to look your best friend in the eye. “No,” You reply firmly. You can’t like Joohyun. You can’t betray Sooyoung like that.

“Then what’s the problem?”

You glance at Sooyoung, shaking your head and breathing out deeply. It occurs to you how badly you’d like to slap Sooyoung and truthfully it takes everything in you not to, as you force yourself to ignore the nagging voice in your head telling you to strike back for once, but as usual, you manage to control yourself, focusing on the calming thought that in three days this arrangement will be over. There’s no point in arguing with Sooyoung when you’re so close to the end. You can acknowledge the problem you have was not with this kiss itself, but the effect of it. Still, you push down that thought, silently choosing to keep your word and continue with Sooyoung’s games, hoping that after you can fully resolve the seemingly ever-growing pile of issues with her.

“You should leave,” You mutter finally, biting your tongue to prevent the temptation of saying anything more.

“Why?” Sooyoung asks incredulously, practically bristling.

“You just should,” You say, your gaze shifting to the back of Joohyun’s head as Jisoo mutters something to her. “Please,” You add flatly.

Sooyoung stares at you, and you can tell she’s trying to figure something out, perhaps why you’ve chosen to be so cordial, but eventually, she gives up and leaves. You let out a huff of air as Sooyoung disappears into the hallway, sighing as you make your way towards Joohyun, and nodding gratefully to Jisoo as she quickly excuses herself upon your arrival.

“Hey,” You greet, sitting down next to Joohyun. She doesn’t look at you, and admittedly you’re hurt by this, but you choose to ignore it as you continue. “I'm sorry about my, uh, girlfriend.”

“It’s fine,” Joohyun insists. “I don’t care, remember?”

“Right,” You say, ignoring the feeling that she said that more to console herself than you. “Well even if that’s how you feel, I’m still really sorry, and if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you let me know.”

“How about a date?”

You choke. “Sorry?”

“I’m joking,” Joohyun says with a laugh, poking your stomach. “Free tickets to your game would suffice.”

You dip your head to hide your flustered state, before sinking a little further into your seat, cursing the universe and its way of making unwanted conveniences materialize. “I can get you two,” You say finally. “But don’t let anyone find out or my coach will kill me,” You add lightly, a soft smile crossing your lips.

Joohyun grins. “Well, we can't have that can we?”

“No, we can’t.”

Joohyun’s mood seems to improve greatly after that, especially when your teacher announces they’re leaving early and you can have the rest of the period as a free block. Soon enough you find yourself accompanying Joohyun to lunch, your fingers thrumming gently against the metal of the cafeteria bar and tapping out an uneven beat while you watch Joohyun distractedly reach for a pre-prepared meal as she chatters in your ear about relatively meaningless things.

Unwilling to interrupt her, you gingerly take hold of her slim wrist, feeling her almost unnervingly soft skin briefly tense at your touch before she relaxes, glancing at you with an inquisitive look that makes your breath catch in your throat and your hand quickly jump to the back of your neck. “That one's chicken,” You mumble abashedly, looking anywhere but the brunette. “It’ll make you sick.”

Joohyun tilts her head, eyes squinting subtly as the corner of her mouth curves upwards before she wordlessly grabs a different packaged lunch. “Not chicken,” She declares proudly, holding it out for you to inspect.

“Not chicken,” You agree, an adoring smile subconsciously appearing on your lips before you turn away, browsing for your own lunch until eventually settling on an unpopular soup and rolling your eyes when Joohyun begins to playfully berate you for your choice, only stopping when you lightly hit the crown of her head, prompting a melodramatic yelp but nothing else.

“Aren’t you going to go be with Sooyoung?” Joohyun asks as you hover behind her, absentmindedly picking at the plastic wrapping on your spoon while she finishes swiping her meal card.

You puff your cheeks, paying for your food and peering over at your usual spot where your best friend waits with the rest of your teammates, the empty seat next to her clearly meant for you, despite your earlier spat. Common sense tells you it would be best to sit with her, to resolve any tensions and keep up your charade, but the way your heart cracks when you notice the glimmer of hope in Joohyun’s eyes at your hesitation leads you in another, less rational direction.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine without me for one day,” You say, and the beaming grin Joohyun gives you is immediately worth it as you allow the older girl to take you by the arm, and lead you to the school’s senior longue, where a handful of other people appear to be waiting for her and a few others, the only one currently there that you recognize is Jisoo, who seems surprised yet also pleased to see you.

“Y/N,” She greets with a nod, a smirk plastered on her lips, her amused gaze meeting Joohyun’s and causing you to glance between the two as Joohyun only shakes her head, drawing out an unexpected chuckle from Jisoo before she delves back into a conversation with the girl on her left, leaving you confused and looking to Joohyun for clarification.

“Don’t worry about it,” She says, pulling you down to the ground where you take a seat, back against the wall, a millimeter of space between you and Joohyun.

Admittedly you feel out of place as you eat your lunch, unable to remember the names of any of Joohyun’s friends, save for Roseanne, the blonde who showed up later, but you only knew her from hanging around Joohyun so much, recognizing her to be Jisoo’s girlfriend that you’d met twice before at a group study and you’d gotten on well enough with her. Still, you opt to only listen as the brunette talks with her friends, watching her reactions with interest and every once in a while you’ll politely chime in when Joohyun pushes you to, but for the most part, you’re content to just silently follow along and observe. Eventually, Jisoo and Joohyun’s friends disperse, heading back to their classes, leaving the three of you behind, having no interest in returning to your classroom to carry out the rest of your free block.

“I like having you as my partner,” Joohyun says softly after a few moments of silence, and you can’t help but notice Jisoo watching you two in the least subtle way possible.

“I do too.”

“You’re not going to ditch me when this is over, right?” Joohyun asks, gaze meeting yours, and although her voice is laced with a joking tone you can tell it’s all but that. “We’ll still talk?”

“Of course,” You say. “I’ll never leave you.”

Joohyun nods in contentment, leaning into your side, her head moving to rest on your shoulder as her hair tickles your cheek and for once, you register, your body doesn’t go rigid at someone else’s touch. However, that doesn’t mean you’re not surprised when her arm hooks around yours, clutching it as her eyes flutter shut, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

“Tired?” You murmur softly in question, looking down at the smaller girl as she turns to hide her face in your neck.

You can feel Joohyun’s lips curve into a smile. “A little.”

You swallow, ignoring the sudden chill you feel. “We have a bit left, you can take a nap if you want?”

“Will you wake me up?” She mumbles.

“I will,” You say, offering her your pinky which she takes with a laugh. “I promise.”

You begin to feel wary as you notice Joohyun’s chest rising and falling slower while she sinks into a deep sleep, and you’re suddenly hyper-aware of the girl sitting across from you. You’ve always felt off around Kim Jisoo, not because you didn’t get along with her, but because you always had an odd sense that she knew more than she let on. Like you, she’s clever and perceptive and her smirks and glances begin to replay in your mind as you watch her type something into her phone. You can’t help but feel leery, an inkling of paranoia filling you as you wonder if perhaps she has figured Sooyoung and you out or at least come close. If anyone were to figure you out, it would be Jisoo, and the realization doesn’t exactly console you.

“You two would make a good couple,” Jisoo hums suddenly, making you jump. Her stare is fixed between you and Joohyun, her trademark analytical look back on her face and you’re sure she’s judging you, but for what you’re not sure. “I approve.”

Your eyes widen. “I don’t like her in that way,” You say adamantly, ignoring Jisoo’s arched brow. “And I have a girlfriend,” You hastily add on, cringing at how your last sentence came out as more of an unconvincing afterthought than anything.

“Right,” Jisoo chuckles, and you swear there’s a hint of knowingness in her voice as she continues. “But if you didn’t.”

You open your mouth to respond but you falter, realizing you have nothing to say and Jisoo seems to take that as an unspoken answer, going back to what she was doing as if nothing had happened, as if what she’d said wasn’t threatening to unravel the very thin veil you’d crafted between yourself and a forbidden thought you had long ago, pushed away into the deepest dredges of your mind.

But if you didn’t. The words ring in your head. If you weren’t fake dating Sooyoung, and if up until recently you weren’t so sure Seulgi was the only one for you, if you had just gotten to know Joohyun without your best friend’s hovering and constant check-ins, then what? What would your life be like? You look to your side, at Joohyun, whose gentle breaths brush against your neck. You reach to push a strand of her hair aside and when you look up, Jisoo is once again watching you.

“I-” You begin, but Jisoo interrupts you.

“I know,” She says.

You’re unable to hide your shock in time and Jisoo notices it donning an enigmatic smile, for a moment you contemplate playing dumb, but you know there’s no point. “How?” You ask finally.

Jisoo tilts her head, looking at you like the answer is the most obvious thing in the world. “Because,” She gestures between you and Joohyun, “You never look at Sooyoung the way you look at her.”

An hour later, you’re walking down the halls towards the exit, your bag hitched on your shoulder as your own thoughts consume you. Joohyun didn’t wake up until you tenderly shook her awake just minutes before the end of the day, and the tired grin she gave you was enough to make your heartbeat quicken. You’d half expected Jisoo to blurt out your secret then and there, but true to her word she said nothing, and you hoped she’d keep her promise as she drove home with Joohyun. In a way, it’s freeing knowing that someone else knew of your charade, but at the same time, you feel guilty, the weeks of deceit catching up to you in one single stride as you think of Joohyun. You don’t like lying, even if it’s for the sake of your best friend. You resolve to tell Joohyun everything once everything is over, and the weight on your consciousness feels subtly lighter.

“Hey! Y/N!” A voice, which you’re easily able to recognize as Sooyoung’s, calls from behind you, followed by heavy footfalls and eventually a hand on your shoulder. “Why didn’t you stop?” She huffs, not exactly out of breath, but clearly a little affected by the exertion.

You raise a brow, unamused. “Do you really want me to answer that Sooyoung?”

“No, ” Sooyoung sighs, going silent and allowing a growingly palpable tension to settle in between the two of you. “I’m sorry,” Sooyoung says a few beats later. “About earlier.”

You glance at Sooyoung for a moment, before looking away, not responding as you continue to walk, twirling the keys to your car on your finger in thought. Truthfully, you’re no longer upset with her, at least not as much as you were previously, but you’re still hurt. You’ve come to the conclusion that over the past month, Sooyoung has changed into someone you no longer know, her obsession with Joohyun taking up her life and leaking into yours as she drags you along in this stupid plan, and you can’t help but wish you hadn’t let yourself get into this. And maybe you’re naive to think this, you realize as you notice Sooyoung beginning to leave, but you can’t help but hope that in two more days it will all go back to normal.

“Hey, Sooyoung?” You call, causing her to turn around. “I’m sorry too.”

Sooyoung smiles softly. “Thank you.”

///

Your fingers run over the hem of your volleyball uniform, anxiously fidgeting with your shirt before you take a deep inhale, beginning to stretch out your legs and arms. You notice that more people than usual line the stands today as you glance over to the crowd and despite your growing unease, your gaze instinctively skims through it, searching for the comfort of a certain brunette, but much to your disappointment, you’re unable to spot her.

“Feeling alright?” Sooyoung asks, her words startling you out of your distracted state as she places a consoling hand on your shoulder making you tense and she quickly lets go of you with an apologetic look.

You reach for your neck. “Yeah,” You say unconvincingly, and your best friend arches a doubtful brow. “You?”

Sooyoung shrugs, her eyes falling towards your teammates, an unimpressed hum escaping her as you witness Seungwan overshoot her serve. “Could be better,” Sooyoung remarks, crossing her arms.

You shake your head. “I’m sure we’ll do fine.”

“Hey,” Sooyoung peers at you, her lip quirked upwards. “Since when are you the optimistic one?” She teases, nudging your side.

“You’re insufferable,” You groan, rolling your eyes and letting out a huff while you try your best to appear unaffected by her provocations, but after years together it’s hard to hold back your amusement around Sooyoung and the smallest of laughs manages to worm its way out of you.

“See? You don’t really think that,” She declares, attempting to hug you but you push her away and she feigns insult, grasping her arm theatrically.

“I definitely do,” You assure her flatly.

“Sure,” Sooyoung concedes, although her tone is still playful. “By the way,” She starts casually after a few beats of silence. “Have you seen Joohyun?”

“No,” You resist the urge to frown, the reminder of Joohyun breaking you away from the normalcy of the moment, and tearing you back into the reality of your stress-filled charade. It’s bittersweet, how you find your heart aching for a time one month ago when your relationship with Sooyoung wasn’t so strained and centered around someone else. But at the same time, you also find yourself realizing that you could never let go of your precious memories with Joohyun, a twinge of yearning making itself known at the mere thought of losing her. You grimace, it reminds you of how you felt when Seulgi told you she was leaving.

“But I thought you invited her?” Sooyoung asks, shoulders slouching.

“I did,” You reply, looking over to the crowd again and you’re almost embarrassed by how hopeful you are that you’ll find the girl that is quickly becoming your favorite person, or, you peek at Sooyoung, second favorite.

“She’s over there,” Sooyoung murmurs, elbowing you and jutting her chin towards your left.

You follow her directions with a raised brow, spotting Joohyun alongside Jisoo. She laughs at something, the amusement reaching her eyes while she joyously claps her hands, and even from afar her presence relaxes you. As if sensing your stare, Joohyun’s dusky eyes suddenly meet yours, her smile widening as she waves softly at you, eagerly pointing at her shirt which you see has your school logo on it and sending you a thumbs up. You sheepishly return the gesture, before her attention returns to Jisoo, who is pointing at Sooyoung and whispering something into Joohyun’s ear, the brunette reacting to whatever was said shyly and ducking her head. Inexplicably, a burning flash of nausea sweeps through you, leaving you momentarily shaken, before you recenter yourself.

You turn to Sooyoung, expecting her to celebrate Joohyun’s acknowledgement and you’re confused to be met with an inquiring expression, her gaze flickering between the two of you, but she seems to shrug it off, an easy-going grin returning to her lips, and you find your unknowingly tense shoulders loosening.

“Did you see that?” Sooyoung asks, an ecstatic tone to her voice that reminds you of the energized way her younger sisters speak to you.

“Yeah,” You blink. “I did.”

But you don’t get to say anything else as your coach calls you and Sooyoung over, the two of you sharing a glance before jogging off to meet them and the rest of your team, your anxiety returning as you remember with a grimace what’s at stake.

The game goes well enough, with your team winning by a sliver of a point difference, something you’re not too pleased by but accept nonetheless, after all a victory is a victory, and you’d be lying if you said you played your best, your eyes frequently wandering towards Joohyun in between sets, effectively distracting you a few times and garnering you a few blunders as well as ugly stares. But the worst part of it all you realize with a grimace as Sooyoung trots up to you after the match wearing a wide grin, is that you have to admit that she was right, or at least acknowledge it. For once it seems, Sooyoung made the right decision by canceling practice yesterday.

“I told you,” She teases, jostling you playfully once the two of you have started cleaning up the remnants of your match, your teammates having been dismissed earlier with the rest of the crowd as you and Sooyoung took responsibility for what was left. You’re slightly disappointed to notice that Joohyun hadn’t stayed behind, but you brush it off, telling yourself you shouldn’t care, but even the voice in your head doesn’t seem too confident.

“Whatever,” You roll your eyes, not wanting to give Sooyoung the satisfaction of admittance to defeat, but that seems to spur her on even more, her mockery only increasing while you ignore her unamusedly, until finally you take your water bottle and squirt her in the face with it, which manages to shut her up as she sulks soaked through the rest of your duties, while you on the other hand, suddenly feel quite cheerful, even beginning to hum softly under your breath.

“Are you sure?” Sooyoung asks you five minutes later, her hesitance clear after you’d told her she could leave without you.

“Yeah, it’s fine Sooyoung, you go ahead.” You urge, lifting your jersey pointedly with a crinkle of your nose. “I don’t think I can wait until I get home to take this off, I’ll be seconds behind you.”

Your best friend seems to contemplate this before letting out a defeated sigh. “Alright,” She says, hoisting her bag over her shoulder. “Just let me know when you get home.”

“Will do,” You promise, watching her as she leaves, before you split off towards the corridor to the locker rooms, stopping to turn off the massive rows of lights illuminating the gymnasium first and securing the doors behind you.

You twirl the keys on your finger as you walk, your steps echoing through the empty halls and your thoughts begin to drift off, more specifically to Joohyun and the sickening feeling you’d gotten when she had smiled at Sooyoung, even just remembering it makes you feel unwell. You grit your teeth, looking up to the ceiling and taking a deep breath.

A long time ago you’d felt that same feeling when Seulgi had convinced you to go out with her to a concert, her begging words impossible to say no to and while you’d enjoyed it, the night was forever tainted in your memory by the exact same rumbling discomfort in your chest you’d felt earlier, because coincidentally, Seulgi’s ex, Lisa Manoban was there too, and watching them reunite left you queasy as they reminisced and discussed commonalities you and Seulgi didn’t have, like her passion for dance. You’re not a jealous person, that had always been Sooyoung’s role (and her ongoing scheme proved it), but for the first time in your life, you felt truly jealous, even if only for an unreasonable second as you’d later find that you got on quite well with Lisa who you recalled had semi-jokingly told you to her call if you and Seulgi broke up.

But that situation was different from today. You were dating Seulgi, and for a moment your insecurities got the best of you, but with Joohyun? You were just friends, not to mention that you two had only begun regularly talking two weeks ago even if it felt like a lifetime with the amount of things she had coaxed out of you so easily, things that had taken your own best friend over a decade. Joohyun was special to you, in a way you’ve never experienced before, but so was Sooyoung, so why were you so annoyingly jealous of her, when in reality you should be happy for her, pleased that at least this stupid plan was coming to some form of fruition. But Jisoo’s comments from yesterday echo in your head once more, and you curse the girl.

For the first time, you allow yourself the tantalizing admittance that maybe you like Bae Joohyun before you rapidly lock the thought away in a box and shove it under a metaphorical rug in your mind, cringing at yourself and feeling guilty for even formulating such a taboo notion, thinking of your loyalty to Sooyoung and hastening your stride, focusing on doing what you had to do and going home, where hopefully you can forget everything, but those musings quickly fade as you notice someone lingering outside the changing area, your eyes narrowing and body tensing but when the person turns to you, you relax as you’re met with the very girl who has your brain tying itself in knots.

“Joohyun?” You call, managing to compose yourself before you speak, confusion lacing your tone as you approach her. “How long have you been here?”

“A bit,” She shrugs looking at you with a smile that makes your chest seize up, your earlier revelation returning to you and you swat it away, reminding yourself of Sooyoung, which seems to ground you.

“And what if I hadn’t shown up?” You can’t help but tease.

Joohyun crosses her arms, tilting her head. “I would’ve found you eventually,” She answers confidently.

You bite your lip, secretly quite charmed by her as you attempt to mask how flustered you feel. “Right then,” You mutter under your breath, suddenly taken by the sight of your shoes, and Joohyun appears to be entertained by your behavior.

“I wanted to talk to you,” She clarifies, sparing you from yourself and you think you catch a hint of nervousness in her voice. “If that’s okay?”

You swallow, forcing yourself not to read too much into Joohyun’s request and centering yourself. “Is there something I should be worried about?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” You concede, “Do you mind if I change first?”

Joohyun suddenly coughs. “Not at all,” She mumbles.

You're surprised when she follows you into the locker rooms, having expected her to wait outside, but admittedly you don’t mind the company, once again drawing comfort from her. However your jaw locks when you’re greeted with another unexpected shock, but unlike Joohyun, it’s wholly unwelcomed as your narrowed gaze falls upon your least favorite teammate who stares back at you with a grin.

“Jennie,” You greet tersely. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry Kwon,” Jennie replies, knowing the use of your last name irks you. “I just came back to get something I left behind,” The younger girl looks between you and Joohyun with a smirk that makes you feel uneasy, and you sense Joohyun shift uncomfortably beside you. “Well, I’ll leave you two to it!” Jennie declares cheerily with a wave before walking off and you find yourself holding your breath until you hear the door slam shut.

Silence settles between you and Joohyun, neither of you wanting to address what just happened, and you too tired and figuring she wouldn’t care, begin to change right there. Joohyun seems to watch you intently as you pull your uniform shirt over your head before she registers you’re observing her reaction curiously. She rapidly turns her gaze away with a choked apology. You think she’s blushing but you ignore the thought, continuing with your routine until you’re done and tapping her shoulder to let her know she can look again, but when she turns she just stares at you.

“You’re very pretty, you know?” The brunette breathes out suddenly with a hum and for a moment she appears to be dazed by her own words as if she hadn’t meant to say them aloud, but she seems to shrug it off and it’s clear her usual self-assuredness has returned as she reaches to cup your cheek. Her touch makes your skin prickle and your thoughts short circuit.

“Surely that’s not what you wanted to tell me,” You manage to respond eventually, albeit unsteadily.

“What if it was?” Joohyun challenges before she shakes her head, dropping her hand. “Sorry,” She sighs, glancing beyond you. “You’re right. I wanted to ask you something.” Joohyun pauses for a long second, “Just promise me you won’t lie.”

“I promise,” You say, but there’s a seriousness in her tone that makes you shift your weight, highly aware of a building sense of anxiety in your stomach, and you’re certain that whatever her question is is going to change things between you two, and you can only pray it won’t end negatively, your heart not able to even take the thought of losing Joohyun as you begin to brace yourself

Joohyun chews her lip, a fleeting look of hesitation crossing her face and she takes a deep breath, her expression evening out as her eyes bore into yours. “Why are you pretending to date Sooyoung?”

For a moment you’re stunned, your thoughts halting in place as you’re unable to process anything, and everything seems to spin rapidly around you. You feel ill, struggling to hold yourself up while a sickening wave of nausea surges through you, everything incoherent as you force yourself to speak. “What? That’s-” You choke on your words as even more panic rises in your chest. “That’s not-” You squeeze your eyes shut, your head pounding.

“Y/N,” You can feel Joohyun grip your shoulder, steadying you. “You promised not to lie,” She reminds gently, her voice sounding far away yet you can still recognize an underlying hurt in it that makes you crack.

“I’m sorry,” You manage to murmur, opening your eyes but refusing to meet her gaze and your mind begins to straighten out as you calm yourself, shame still searing through you. “I’m so sorry,” You repeat, hoping Joohyun knows you’re apologizing for everything, every lie and every millisecond of deceit. “I just wanted to help Sooyoung.”

There’s a long beat of silence, and you force yourself to glance at Joohyun, who remains frozen, until suddenly her arms are wrapped around you pulling you into a hug, her fingers running through your hair while you continue to utter a stream of apologies and you’re certain it’s not real, that you’re imagining it in place of how she really reacted, until you hear her whisper against you, “It’s okay, I forgive you.”

An overwhelming sense of ease washes over you as you squeeze her back, and for the first time in weeks, you feel relieved, overjoyed to no longer have to lie, the guilt washing off of you. “How did you know?” You ask minutes later, and Joohyun shocks you by laughing, the air around you instantly lightening.

“I didn’t,” She answers honestly, pulling back from you, her hands still resting on your shoulders. “I just had a feeling something was off and Jisoo told me to act on it,” Joohyun grimaces. “I promise I wasn’t expecting it to work out how it did.”

“Shit,” You groan, thinking back on the past couple of weeks, and realizing while you and Sooyoung’s act might have been believable for those who didn’t truly know you, it was painfully suspicious to those who did, and as short as the period was that Sooyoung and Joohyun had dated, they still shared some level of intimacy that would’ve allowed Joohyun to notice the oddities in Sooyoung’s behavior, which even you realize, was much different from how she usually acted in relationships. It was foolish to ever think you had a chance with someone as perceptive as Joohyun or even Jisoo mingling with you, and it occurs to you, in an almost satirical way, that Jisoo, although pushing Joohyun in the right direction, had kept her promise and not told Joohyun.

“Can I ask you one more thing?” Joohyun questions.

“Sure,” You say, registering that it doesn’t matter anymore now that Joohyun knows, you can tell her anything and in a way, it’s freeing.

“Why did Sooyoung want to do it?”

There’s a beat of silence while you wrack your brain for an elegant answer before you give up, realizing there is none. “She wanted to make you jealous,” You respond simply, and in hindsight, you cringe at your best friend’s poorly formed plan. “She thought you’d get back together with her if you saw us dating.”

The older girl hums thoughtfully. “Well, at least one part of it worked.”

You snort at her, thinking she’s making a joke, the thought of Sooyoung’s scheme working is quite amusing to you, but when you look at her, expecting her to let out a chuckle, you realize she’s being genuine. “You’re serious? Then why aren’t you with her?”

“I wasn’t jealous of you,” Joohyun laughs, staring at you incredulously. “I was jealous of Sooyoung.”

“Oh,” You say dumbly, your mind making the connection, and suddenly Joohyun’s past behaviors make more sense to you, the kiss on the cheek, her discomfort around Sooyoung, the joke about the date, and it makes you go numb, overwhelmed by it all, yet you also buzz with elation. Your own buried feelings break through the chains you had long since latched them in, breaching the surface and you know you can no longer hide them anymore, maybe if they were for anyone else, but when it comes to Bae Joohyun, you know it’s impossible. For once, you’re certain of something, and that’s that you like Joohyun, a lot.

“Y/N, I like you. I know I said I didn’t care, but I do care, a lot,” Joohyun says, reaching to hold your chin, a vulnerability in her dusky eyes that you’ve never seen before and she shakes her head, smiling awkwardly. “You don’t have to like me back though, I just wanted to tell you because-”

“Joohyun,” You cut her off tenderly, the pain in her voice is too much for you to let her continue. “I like you too.”

Joohyun appears shocked at first, her expression wide-eyed before it transforms into a delicate grin, her fingers shifting to gingerly stroke the messy hairs hanging in your face to the side, and she leans closer to you as your mouths nearly brush against each other, her hand moving to gently trace the shell of your ear. “Can I kiss you?”

Your breath catches in your throat, blood pounding in your ears as you manage a nod, and she leans in, pressing her lips to yours. They’re plush and soft, drawing you in deeper as both you and her pour thousands of unspoken words into your kiss, your heart thundering, while you allow yourself to get lost in her alluring scent and overwhelming touch. Everything within you seems electrified as you move against each other, Joohyun’s arms wrapping lovingly around your neck, the weeks of your denial and her building jealousy finally forcing its way out of the two of you and molding itself into something new, beyond the simplicity of love and passion. Nothing else existed, nothing else even mattered, except for Bae Joohyun, and she knew, drawing you in further and further, to get more and more lost in her sweet taste and soft skin as her fingers teasingly sweep up and down your abdomen, leaving trails of burning fire in their wake. A gasp escapes you, but Joohyun smothers it, pressing closer to you with a spur of intensity that sends you reeling, the only coherent thought on your mind being of her.

“You’re the one I left her for,” Joohyun says breathily as she finally pulls away from you, resting her forehead against yours, her brown eyes sparkling with adoration.

“What?”

“I couldn’t be with her knowing I liked someone else,” She murmurs, caressing your cheek. “You’re the reason why I broke up with Sooyoung.”

“Sooyoung,” You echo, the once far away thought of your best friend coming rearing back as a feeling of panic rises in your chest causing your legs to collapse, your body unexpectedly slipping from Joohyun’s comforting grasp as you sink to the ground, head in your hands. “She’s going to kill me Joohyun,” you whisper. “She’s going to hate me.”

“She won’t hate you Y/N,” Joohyun says, sitting next to you and moving your head to press against her breastbone as she begins to draw soothing patterns on your back, whispering honeyed words into your ear and patiently guiding your sporadic breathing back to normal.

“How am I going to tell her?” You ask.

Joohyun looks down at you, her expression not exactly hopeful. “I don’t know, but she’s your best friend, she’ll understand,” Joohyun assures. “It will work out.”

You nod slowly, choosing to believe her words as you lean further into her, trying to forget your problems and focusing on Joohyun’s assurances, which you repeat to yourself even a half-hour later, as you arrive home and pull your phone out to text Sooyoung with a pang of guilt, leaving her message on read when she questions what took you so long.

“She’ll understand,” You mumble to yourself half-heartedly, already beginning to think of how you could ever explain this to your best friend.

///

Your parents aren’t home, having gone out to a corporate party that would last well into the night when Sooyoung shows up at your doorstep. Her hair is slick with rain, matted down and stringy as small drops of water drip off her, and when you blink you’re reminded of a night that was so long ago, yet somehow feels so fresh despite the immeasurable changes that have occurred since now and then. When Sooyoung was standing on your porch soaked and shaking and you pulled the newly heartbroken girl into your arms, murmuring consoling words into her ear as you held her tighter than you’d ever held her before. But this time isn’t like that you register, observing the blankness in Sooyoung’s brown eyes and you resist the urge to step back when you catch the angered twitch of her lip.

Possibilities for her fury begin to run through your head, recalling the way she had looked at you with gentle worry just two hours ago, a clear cut contrast to the venomous way her gaze bores into yours now, but you realize there’s no point in sifting through possibilities. There’s no point in pretending to be ignorant or remaining in denial. You know why she’s here. Possibilities didn’t matter anymore, not when you had a definite involving the now shared center point of both your lives, Bae Joohyun, and you knew that this was the last straw. You and Sooyoung were two moons fighting for one orbit, and the only ending was disaster and collision, a deadly finale of an explosion you saw coming from kilometers away barrelling towards you. No Joohyun, you thought, her comforting words returning to you, things would not be okay. And suddenly only two questions remained within you, how had Sooyoung found out, and how would you tell her?

You clear your throat. “Hey.”

But Sooyoung doesn’t bother to greet you back, instead, slipping past you as a growing dread begins to fill your stomach, and leaving you to silently close the door behind her and follow her into your kitchen, watching cautiously as she reaches into one of your cupboards for an empty glass, her familiarity with your home becoming less comforting and more haunting.

“Did you know that Bae Joohyun kissed someone?” Sooyoung asks suddenly, her tone chillingly casual as she turns on your faucet.

Your breath catches for a moment taken aback by her bluntness, before you manage to make it even out, still keeping an arm’s length distance from the older girl as you lean against one of the counters, forcing yourself to meet her gaze and not allowing yourself to be intimidated. Your jaw sets as you look into her rage-filled glare. “Really?” You ask, choosing to play dumb and buy yourself more time, foolishly hoping you can figure out a way to deescalate your impending doom, but the choice only makes the bubbling guilt within you rise as you realize your deceit, and you can feel bile rising in your throat.

“Really?” Sooyoung mocks, arching a brow. “I just figured you would know,” She looks to you for an answer, sipping her water, and placing it down painfully slow but you remain silent, feeling more sickly by the second. “Since there’s this picture,” She continues. “And the person in it looks an awful lot like you.”

Dazed by her revelation, you blink as your mind splits itself into multiple directions, before it hones in on a single passing moment finding your answer. Jennie Kim. She must’ve snuck back and caught you and Joohyun. You swallow, and for the first time, your resolve flickers, eyes widening briefly before you regain control of your appearance, but not fast enough to escape Sooyoung’s notice as she abruptly grabs your wrist, forcing you closer to her. “Was it you?”

You grit your teeth as Sooyoung’s nails dig into your skin, looking her dead on and you know you can’t lie to her, even if you did she’d see through it. “It was,” You admit, forcing your voice to reamain steady while your lie collapses around you, filling you with shame. “It was me.”

“I fucking knew it!” She exclaims with a harshness that you’ve never heard before. Sooyoung releases her grip on you, her hands jumping to hold her head as she starts to pace the room, seething and throwing volleys of insults your way while you observe, taking it quietly until she turns on you, her expression dark as she laughs. “You’re the one she left me for.”

“You just figured that out?” You bite back, unable to hold your tongue any longer, your meekness cracking, choosing for once, to not let Sooyoung push you around so easily.

“You don’t deserve her,” Sooyoung states. “And when she realizes that, she’ll leave you too, just like Seulgi.”

The words are like a slap to the face, your insecurities on full display and flooding you with humiliation that rapidly transforms itself into a fit of raw, unfiltered anger you’ve never felt before. “And you think you deserve her?” You challenge, tilting your head. “After all you’ve done is treat her like an object, acting like she was just another trophy to add to your collection and not a real person! At least I have the decency to see her as a human being and not as you called her, ‘a future celebrity’ for you to show off!”

Sooyoung bristles, scoffing cruelly. “You are such a fucking liar Y/N. I never did any of that.”

“Never did that?” You echo incredulously. “Then what do you call trying to manipulate her into loving you again with a fake girlfriend? Is that not treating her like an object?”

“Oh quit acting so high and mighty,” Sooyoung sneers, pressing a finger into your chest “You agreed to help me!”

“Because you’re my best friend!” You shout, pushing her away from you, glowering and suddenly every tightly wound string within you finally snaps, breaking apart like a ball of rubber bands as weeks worth of resentment rushes from you, oozing through your blood and turning it cold. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy Sooyoung,” You breathe, exasperated. “And I thought this would help, but it only made everything worse. I know I agreed, but the difference between you and me is that I regret it every day and I swear I will spend my life trying to make it up to her if I have to. But you?” The rage in your voice only seems to grow. “You’re a selfish brat that doesn't give a single shit as long as you get what you want!”

Hurt seems to flicker in Sooyoung’s eyes as you finish speaking, but only for a split second as they abruptly quickly turn dark, dangerous almost, and you’re stumbling backward as she shoves you hard, seizing you by your shoulder as you make impact with the countertop behind you and punching you square in the jaw, your head whipping to the side with a groan. Sooyoung seems to recognize the gravity of what she’s done as she releases you, her expression bewildered as she backs away leaving you to prop yourself up. The metallic taste of blood begins to fill your mouth and you wipe your lips staring at Sooyoung with a similar look of shock, and suddenly she no longer looks like the Sooyoung you know. You tenderly reach to rub your aching jaw, the hit not having been hard enough to cause serious damage, you note thankfully, but the pain is still agonizing.

And it occurs to you that you were wrong. Things between you and Sooyoung will never be the same, or at least not in the way you wanted, even if you were to forgive her right now. You always thought she needed you, and she did, but in a way that was different from how you needed her. Maybe it was your fault, for choosing to remain blind to the growing fracture of your relationship, you were no longer the two young girls who begged their mothers for extra sweets, but rather two strangers divided, and perhaps it was meant to be like this. Perhaps you never followed the same paths you thought you did. There comes a point when something is too broken to be fixed, too poisoned to be cured, and is that not where you are now? The shattered pieces of your relationship are too small, fine, and fragmented to possibly find them all, nonetheless glue them back together. No, it could never be the same.

“I’m so sorry,” Sooyoung finally utters, her voice cracking.

But you ignore her because for some inexplicable reason you don’t care anymore, you’re numb to the pain in her tone. All you can think of is yesterday. Yesterday when you promised Joohyun you’d always be there, and you know that no matter how much you may want it, you can’t have both Joohyun and Sooyoung. You have to choose. And as you look at your best friend for the first time without clouded vision, you can finally see that you don’t know her anymore, and you haven’t for months, maybe years.

You look at Sooyoung with a grimace. “Get out.”

///

Joohyun’s delicate arms wrap around your waist, her body leaning against your side with her head resting in the notch of your collarbone as you watch the final ribbons of daylight begin to retreat over the pink and orange dappled horizon, your appearance content. The two of you blissfully stand amongst the slowly dispersing crowd on the plush fields behind your former school, a palpable jubilance dancing through the air while your classmates linger around you, some of them beginning to split off towards their own celebrations while others stay to talk. Not too far away from you, your own family sits alongside Joohyun’s chatting cheerfully, and you smile at the sight.

“They’re probably talking about when we’ll get married,” Joohyun jokes, her gaze clearly having followed yours as you wave to them.

You glance at her amusedly. “You think?”

“Definitely,” She sighs. “I can already hear them asking me tonight,” Joohyun pauses, clearing her throat in preparation to imitate her mother. “Joohyun,” She mocks, and you struggle to hold in a laugh at her awful impression. “Now that you’ve graduated don’t you think it’s time to settle down?”

“But mom,” You play along. “I’m only eighteen!”

Joohyun pinches you, making you yelp. “I don’t sound like that,” She chides, her expression serious as she tries to be intimidating, but the affection glimmering in her eyes only causes you to grin dopily.

It’s almost strange how blissful you feel around Joohyun, the feeling only having exponentialized over the past four months you’ve been dating. Bae Joohyun, you’ve concluded, is what makes you complete, and you’re determined not to let her go. But amongst the pleasurable moments, there also laid the darker ones, where with a panging ache, you remember your former best friend.

You haven’t talked to Sooyoung since that night, and there’s been no need for you either, not after you quit the volleyball team. You felt guilty, leaving them during your final tournament of the year, but you couldn’t face her, not after everything that happened, and especially not when word spread that you/d “cheated” on Sooyoung with her ex. You humiliated her, and you knew that if she didn’t hate you before, she surely did now. But truthfully, even without your best friend at your side, you’re happier than you’ve ever been. There are some emotions you can’t describe, and the way you feel about Joohyun is just that.

Joohyun is everything to you and you haven’t told her yet, but you think you love her. And although you’re sure she knows it already, you still want to tell her so desperately, but the words are caged within you, because when you try to say it a haunting insecurity begins to swallow you, overwhelming you with a lingering fear that she’ll leave, just like Seulgi, that this is all an intricate yet delicate illusion that will crumble with a single misstep. But Joohyun always assures you it’s not, and when she cups your cheek and gazes at you with the same adoration you look at her with, it’s hard not to believe her, and suddenly you find the words are caught in your throat for a different reason.

You remember calling her after Sooyoung had left, and the unbridled fury in her eyes as she saw the bruise forming on your jawline, swearing to you that she’d go kill Sooyoung there and then and you knew she would. But you begged her to leave the girl alone, to just let it go, and with reluctance she did, holding you close until your parents returned home with a barrage of distressed questions, none of which you answered. Despite what Sooyoung had done to you, you still wanted to protect her as much as you yourself didn’t understand it.

Many times you’ve realized, while lying wide awake late at night, staring mindlessly into the emptiness above, that as much as you despised Sooyoung, in a way you loved her too, and like anyone you love, a piece of her would stay with you forever. For a long time, your life was closely intertwined with Park Sooyoung’s and you knew that you’d forever treasure that, yet you also acknowledged the bitter ending, where the connection between you two began to waver and decay even as you forced yourself to remain ignorant to the fact, hoping that if you just pretended it was okay, it would turn out that way.

For many months you’d hated her for everything, clinging in a macabre way to the stabbing thoughts of how she had used you or the pain she’d inflicted on you until one day you suddenly didn’t care anymore. You just felt tired, your resentment had drained you, and your exhaustion began to affect the lives of the people you loved, including Joohyun, as you went about things half-heartedly, your bitterness clear even if you never acted on it, and that was when you recognized it wasn’t worth it. So you just let go of it, and in your own way, you forgave Sooyoung too, remembering your own wrongs, as you came to the conclusion that the blame couldn’t be placed on one of you but both. Both of you had harmed each other in your shared desperation to reach your own goals, so you simply chose to focus on the happier memories you had with Sooyoung, which admittedly made your chest pang dully, but the poisoned space she had left your heart with was finally starting to mend itself slowly with your own acceptance and Joohyun’s nurturing touch.

“Y/N?” Joohyun calls to you tenderly, gently grasping your chin and turning your face to look at her own, subtle concern flickering across her features. “Are you okay?”

You nod, smiling softly. “Of course.”

“You sure?”Joohyun questions, arching a brow, her gaze searching yours.

“Yeah,” You hum, carefully untangling yourself from her grasp to face her, moving to press your lips against hers in a brief kiss as you reach for her hand, remembering a moment, months ago when you had promised you wouldn’t leave her and just like then, you hold out your pinky. “I promise.”

Joohyun shakes her head, the corner of her mouth curling upwards as she wraps her finger around yours before placing her arms around your midriff and pulling you into her. “You’re starting to rack up a lot of promises to keep Y/N,” She says with a teasing lilt.

“Really?” You ask breathily, still very much so affected by Joohyun’s closeness. “In that case, I also promise to never break a promise.”

The older girl rolls her eyes at your words, pretending to be unimpressed by your sentimental behavior, but you can feel her hold on you subtly tighten, telling you how she truly feels as you contentedly lean into her, your head resting atop hers, each of you bathing in the other’s presence, however, the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you rapidly startles you out of your bliss, effectively cutting through your delicate moment with Joohyun as she looks over your shoulder, her jaw tensing.

“Joohyun?” You murmur, confusion lacing your voice as you remove yourself from her, turning to see what’s upset her and suddenly your posture stiffens, your gaze leveling with the familiar face of your former best friend, her stance mirroring yours despite her having sought you out. Joohyun protectively steps to stand beside you, her hand moving to the small of your back and her eyes saturate with resentment as she glances between you and Sooyoung.

“Y/N,” Sooyoung greets curtly, glancing over at Joohyun, and you’re quick to catch the flicker of sourness in her expression, your nearly two-decade friendship not forgotten as you easily read her, and you’re sure it’s mutual. “Joohyun,” She adds hollowly.

“Sooyoung,” You address her cautiously, your voice surprising you with its steadiness, a stark contrast to how you feel internally because no matter how much you’ve missed her, you’re still clouded with a wariness of her, remembering the taste of blood on your tongue.

“I wanted to say congratulations,” Sooyoung speaks calmly, but her fingers anxiously running through her hair betray her neutral appearance. “To both of you.”

You’re taken aback by her admittance, your mind already analyzing the possibilities of her intentions while you observe Sooyoung’s features, which seem to be emotionless, with an arched brow. But she gives nothing away, clearly having recognized her earlier mistake.

“Thank you,” Joohyun replies politely, surprising both you and Sooyoung as you peer at your girlfriend with widened eyes, noticing, however, that as she finishes speaking her lips are pressed together.

You nod, shaking yourself out of your stupor as you lamely add, “Congratulations to you too Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung stares at you for a long second, as if she’s committing this moment to memory, before she excuses herself, walking away from the two of you. Your chest aches, because when you blink you see a million memories, reminding you of what feels like a far off dream, and for just for a second you remember a time that seems so long ago it can’t possibly be real, when Sooyoung and you weren’t so far apart. And you’re so desperate because you can feel her slipping, and you know today is your last chance to grab hold of her once again before she floats away forever. But you can’t seem to yell out to her, your heart cracking one last time over Park Sooyoung, the girl you once considered your closest friend turned stranger, as you finally realize the inevitable, your rose-tinted fantasies crumbling into ashes.

Your chapter with Sooyoung is over, and there’s nothing you can do to extend it, there’s nothing you can do to fix it, no matter how many times you’ve relentlessly combed over hundreds of solutions, playing them out in your head despite secretly knowing the answer. You don’t mourn the loss of the perfect world you wanted with Sooyoung and Joohyun, but instead, you embrace your new reality, accepting that you were fortunate enough to have grown up with Sooyoung, and the only thing you can hope for is that she’ll eventually be okay, just like you will be, as you allow her to walk away, one final time.

“Sooyoung,” You call, and when she looks back at you, a thousand unspoken words travel between you two, and for the second time in your life, you see her cry, tears pricking in your own eyes. “Good luck.”

Sooyoung bows her head at you with a soft grin, and for a moment, it’s only you and her, soaking in bittersweetness together, the past versions of yourselves swirling around you and you can practically hear your shared childish laughter in your ears before it fades, you and Sooyoung standing at the start of two divided paths, your grasps on each other slipping.

“You too,” She answers and the connection is severed as she glances between you and Joohyun one last time before continuing on, and with one final pang of your heart, you watch her fading form disappear into the crowd.

You turn to your girlfriend, your mouth upturned in a melancholic smile that you’re sure better resembles a grimace, and Joohyun reaches to you, her thumb gingerly brushing away the remaining teardrops on your cheek. “I’m proud of you,” She whispers, pulling you into a hug that slices through your resilient facade, and the sobs you’ve been holding in for weeks suddenly escape you, your body quivering in Joohyun’s firm grasp.

But each pained whimper that leaves your lips carries a portion of the immense weight you’ve been sustaining on your shoulders and lightens the pressure on your tired soul. It’s almost therapeutic, as all your compartmentalized emotions flow from you freely, dispersing into the air and by the time you let out your last cry, you feel anew.

“I’m sorry,” You laugh, embarrassed, into Joohyun’s shoulder, shifting to look her in the eye, and wiping the wetness from your face. “I didn’t mean to cry.”

Joohyun shakes her head, her arms remaining around your waist. “Don’t apologize for that Y/N,” She rests her forehead against yours as she chuckles softly and this time she reaches for your pinky. “I have one more promise for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me you’ll never apologize for crying.”

You stare at Joohyun for a moment, savoring the presence of the person you love, and not for the first time, it occurs to you, that while Joohyun might be the most beautiful human you’ve ever seen, what makes her so enthralling to you isn’t her looks but her caring and delicate deposition, and while you adore her confidence, you know that hidden under it lies a gentle girl with a timid touch who wants to be cared for as much as she cares for you.

“Of course,” You say, and she doesn’t know it, but when you speak, you’re silently making her another promise, to always treasure her, and make sure she feels your adoration, a new determination to never let her go filling you, and suddenly the words you’ve wanted to say for so long are finally ready. “I love you,” You breathe out.

Joohyun beams, tightening her grip on you, and you yelp as she takes you by surprise, the older girl is shockingly strong as she lifts you into the air, twirling you for a brief second before placing you down, your body overwhelmed with affection. “I love you too” Joohyun murmurs, her expression pure bliss as she begins to repeatedly place feather-light kisses on random parts of your face, making you giggle.

She stops when she feels you reach to caress her cheek, and you watch her intently, her eyes practically glimmering while she leans into your hand with a soft sigh, and you can’t resist the urge to surge forward and press your lips against her, capturing them in such an intimate kiss that it makes you swoon, pouring all your love for her into it until you’re sure it’s tangible and you’re completely lost in everything that is her.

When you pull apart, Joohyun’s smile is wide, though you’re sure yours is wider, and you’re suddenly certain that loving Bae Joohyun is the easiest promise you’ve ever made.

#girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #red velvet x reader #irene x reader #red velvet scenario #red velvet imagines #red velvet #irene #irene imagines #irene scenarios #red velvet fluff #bae joohyun #bae joohyun x reader

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scuttling · 3 years ago

Text

Sweet Evening Breeze

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 5,042 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Naïve reader, Innocence kink, Oral sex, Unprotected sex, Previous bad sexual experience Summary: Being Jack Hotchner’s babysitter is a pretty great job. He’s an angel, most of the time, and his dad is so sweet and thoughtful, really takes care of you. Really takes care of you... *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Jack, buddy, time for breakfast,” you call down the hall for the third time. “We’ll play Legos later.” He shouts something nearly incomprehensible back, and you sigh as you stretch up, trying to reach the jam he likes on the top shelf of the cupboard.

Most of the time, the fact that Jack’s dad, Aaron, is very tall gives you butterflies in your stomach, but sometimes it’s just an inconvenience—like when he puts groceries up so high you don’t have a chance of reaching them.

“Dad did not say you could skip breakfast, and it’s not okay to lie. Little monster,” you mutter, and you can feel Aaron’s breath on the back of your neck when he chuckles softly. Whoops. You didn’t even know he was standing there. “I say that with full affection.”

He reaches around you to take down the jam, resting a hand on your lower back, probably for support. The bit of skin exposed by your stretching tingles at the touch.

“Of course, and so do I. Often.” You turn to face him, give him a grateful smile, and take the jar of jam.

“Thank you. Ugh, aren’t you miserable in that?” you ask, gesturing to his usual business suit. As Jack’s babysitter, you see Aaron in a suit almost every day—another thing that gives you butterflies—but you’re in the middle of a heatwave, and it’s 97 degrees in your little suburb of DC, which means it’s probably more like 115 downtown. That’s too hot to do anything, but especially in a suit and tie.

“It’s cool in here, but yes, I’ll probably be miserable the second I step foot outside.” You spread peanut butter on one English muffin and jam on another, laughing softly when a thought comes to you.

“Too bad you don’t have as much flexibility with your dress code as I do.”

At the start of this heatwave last week, you’d asked Aaron—after much nervous deliberation—if you could wear shorts and tank tops around the house instead of your usual jeans and a t-shirt or sweater. Your so-called uniform was self-imposed, because he’d told you from the start you could dress however you were comfortable, but you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. You weren’t trying to show off your body, or tempt or tease, or anything like that; you were just extremely hot, especially playing outside with Jack.

He had agreed, of course, that you should dress for the weather, and that shorts and tank tops were fine. He also reminded you that you could use the pool whenever you wanted, whether he was home or not, and just thinking about taking a dip later is enough to make you sigh in relief.

“I don’t think anyone would be interested in seeing me in an outfit like that,” he jokes—sometimes people can’t tell when he’s joking, because he’s so dry, but you’re familiar with his humor by now—and you laugh again. It earns you a smile.

“I think it’s more important that you’re comfortable than what people think when they see you in something, but it would probably be a little distracting.” You’ve seen him in his swim trunks on more than one occasion, most recently with no shirt to accompany them, and you can attest to being very distracted that day. You were supposed to be keeping an eye on Jack, and you did, would never put him in danger, but your eyes had also been following the drops of water that dripped from Aaron’s hair, down his throat, over his chest…

You had been hot for more than one reason that day, and your butterflies moved a little bit lower.

You shake your head of those thoughts quickly, glance around you to see that Jack is still not in the kitchen. You sigh, and put the peanut butter muffin on a paper napkin, hand it to Aaron.

“I’m going to go get him, but have a good day, okay? Try to stay cool; maybe you can take a swim tonight when it’s not so hot.”

“Good idea. Maybe you can join me if you’re still here.” That was sweet of him to offer. You smile at his kindness, brush a hand over your head. You wish your hair wasn’t all over the place, clinging to the sweat on your neck, your temples, but humidity is not your friend. He doesn't seem to mind.

“Thanks, maybe I will.” He gathers his things to head out, and you steel yourself and head to Jack’s room, scoop him up, giggling, into your arms, and plop him down for breakfast.

The two of you spend the day inside, because even swimming is a nightmare when the sun is beating down the way it is. You play with Legos, watch a movie, do some coloring pages, and play learning games on his iPad.

At around three, Aaron texts you, lets you know he won’t be home tonight because of a case, and you mentally plan out a small, easy dinner for you and Jack, then a little more playtime, then bed for Jack and a swim for you after.

You tuck him in, turn on his nightlight, and close the door behind you, then head to your room to change into your bathing suit.

You usually wear a purple one piece with shorts over it, something you can play with Jack in without worrying about anything falling out, so you’re surprised to find a pale blue, floral print bikini on your bed—a very tiny bikini—with a sticky note on the tag.

Went shopping for Jack and this made me think of you. I hope you like it. - Aaron

The first two things to pop into your head are, it was so sweet of him to think of you while out shopping, and you’re really glad he’s not here to see you in it, because it only half-covers all the things it’s supposed to cover. You double check the tag, but it’s the right size, so it must just be the intended design. Your cheeks flush hot, but it also makes you feel good, to be wearing so little. Kind of wrong, but good in a way you can’t explain.

You grab a couple of beach towels and step out into the slightly cooler night air, sigh at the feel of it on so much of your skin. You lay out your towels on the lounge chair by the edge of the pool—maybe you’ll lay there and read or play on your phone after your swim—and then step into the pool.

The water is still so warm, and the contrast between it and the breeze that blows across the surface has goosebumps breaking out across your skin. You dip your head under the water, let your hair fall loose and luxuriously wet after being twisted up all day long, and when you open your eyes Aaron is standing at the edge of the pool; you gasp, startled by his sudden appearance, and then laugh lightly.

“Oh my god, you scared me. I thought you weren’t going to be home tonight?” You swim closer to the edge so you can see him better, and he crouches down to your level. He’s taken off his jacket and tie, loosened the collar of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves; your heart races a little at his proximity, and all the dark hair you’re presented with.

“Change of plans, we weren’t needed after all. I texted you, but I see your phone is over there; I’m sorry I scared you.” He looks you over, something calculating in his gaze, and then smiles softly. “You’re wearing the swimsuit I bought you. Do you like it?”

You can feel yourself flush, because you hadn’t anticipated him being home to see you in it, but there’s nothing you can do about that now.

“Yes, I like it. It’s pretty. Thank you.” He must be able to sense your apprehension, because he tilts his head curiously.

“If you don’t like it, you can tell me. It won’t hurt my feelings. Don’t be shy.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it, I love it. That was so sweet of you.” You reach out a hand to rest on his arm, don’t want him to feel like you aren’t grateful. “It’s just a little… revealing.” He makes a soft noise of contemplation, reaches out to brush his fingers over your shoulder, over the strap.

“I was a little worried about that. Why don’t you get out of there and let me see? I can let you know if I think it’s too much.” You appreciate that he’d do that for you, and you respect his opinion, but you feel really exposed in it—and you’re not sure why that makes you feel so uncomfortable and so good at the same time.

Sure, he’s the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life, but there’s no way he’d ever look at you as anything other than the sitter. You’re just too… innocent.

All the same, you nod your head and lift yourself up out of the pool; Aaron moves back, helps you up, and guides you over to the lounge chair. He sits, and you stand.

From there, he looks slowly over your body; he lingers over your breasts, your hips, then asks you to turn so he can see the back. You swallow, self-conscious under his gaze.

“Have you ever been this undressed in front of a man?” he asks, his voice low, and your breath hitches. “I can tell you’re nervous, that’s all.”

“Um. Once,” you say, flushing. He hums, brushes a hand down the length of your arm, and you feel a chill. You turn back to face him, and he pats the lounge chair, encouraging you to sit next to him. You sit, cross legged, facing him, nervous, but… also not; it’s hard to explain.

“Were you completely naked?” The way he asks it is so casual, but being naked isn’t casual for you; you can barely bring yourself to think about being naked, let alone talk about it. With your employer.

But something about the way he asks it makes you want to answer, at the same time, and there’s almost no one you trust more than Aaron. He’s always been so good to you.

“No. I left something on.” It had been a bra, gray with a pink bow in the middle. You were more comfortable keeping it on, and your ex-boyfriend hadn’t cared. He hadn’t cared about much, it turns out.

“Was it during sex?” The way the word sounds coming out of his mouth makes you anxious, and excited; you can’t believe you’re having this conversation, and you also don’t want it to end.

“Yes, during... sex.” He nods, brings a hand to your cheek and brushes your wet hair back, tucks it behind your ear. Your heart is beating so fast you’re surprised the world around you is still so calm, quiet. Intimate.

“How many times have you had sex, sweet girl?” You close your eyes, embarrassed. You don’t want him to know how innocent you really are, not when he’s so much older and more experienced. He’ll laugh.

Then again, this is Aaron, and he’s only ever made you feel cared about and safe before. So maybe he won’t?

“Um. One time.”

“Just one time? That’s surprising to me; you’re so beautiful.” You shiver, maybe from being wet with the breeze on your skin, or maybe because he brushes his fingers over your lips, or maybe because he called you beautiful. No one’s ever called you beautiful. “Did it feel good?”

You’d wanted it to feel good; it did, for maybe a minute, and you think about that minute all the time, especially when you… when you slip your hand into your panties at night in your bed, thinking about Aaron’s broad shoulders, his thick forearms, his hands, his mouth...

“Kind of. And then no.” His hand freezes and he frowns. His voice is abruptly less low, more serious. There’s a wrinkle between his eyebrows you want to reach out and touch.

“Did he hurt you?” It had hurt, but you know he hadn’t meant for it to hurt. He wasn’t mean. He was just so eager to finish that once he started, he’d stopped caring if you were feeling good, so focused on his own body. You figured that’s just how guys are, and it made you never want to do it again—so you didn’t.

“Not on purpose,” is what you say. He covers your hand with his, big and warm and careful. You’ve always felt so comforted by his touch, and tonight is no exception.

“What happened?”

“It started quickly and ended quickly. I don’t think I was… prepared.” You’re blushing, hoping he understands your indirect statement so you don’t have to say it out loud. He rubs his thumb soothingly over the back of your hand, reaches up with the other to touch your flushed cheek.

“You weren’t wet?” You exhale, a little shaky, tell him no. “Are you wet now, sweetheart?” You’re almost ashamed to say, but he is asking...

“Very.” It’s just a whisper, but it makes him smile a little, touch your mouth again. You could get used to that.

“Good girl. Can I feel?” That gives you pause, for a moment, but thinking of him touching you where you’ve imagined for months—it’s too good of a prospect to pass up, no matter how nervous you are. You nod, and he moves his hand inside your swimsuit bottoms, brushes over your core, slips between your lips easily. He never takes his eyes off of yours. “It would feel really good to have sex now. Do you want to try again? You’re always taking such good care of us; I want to take care of you.”

You bite your lip, and he leans in slowly, presses his mouth to yours for a gentle kiss. You make a soft noise of pleasure, tilt your hips so you’re sliding over his hand, and he groans—it’s honestly one of the best sounds you’ve ever heard in your life. It means he wants you… never in a million years would you have guessed that.

“I want to try,” you breathe, and you feel bold, so you kiss him this time. He pulls you close, deepens the kiss, adds tongue, and you moan at the feel, clinging to his shirt. “Aaron.”

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” he says, voice low, and he moves his fingers up to the part of you that makes you shake with desperate need, rubs tight circles so you’re panting, chest heaving; you nod quickly and he picks you up, hand still moving inside your swimsuit, carries you to the sliding glass door and pushes it open with his elbow.

You assume you’ll head straight for the bedroom, but he stops in the kitchen, sets you on the counter and kisses you again, a little harder than you’ve experienced before; you love it, try your best to match the way his mouth moves, and his fingers press hard against your aching bud, making you gasp with pleasure.

“Have you ever had an orgasm?” he asks, a little breathless himself, and you smooth your fingers through his hair.

“Um. I think so. From touching myself like this.” He moves his fingers faster, and you press your palm against the counter for support, move your hips against his hand. It feels so good, so much better than when you do it that you could cry.

“Has someone else ever given you an orgasm?” You use the fingers in his hair to bring him to you for a kiss, something you both moan softly into.

“No. I want-I want you to be the first,” you murmur, and he closes his eyes, exhales through his nose, and lifts you up again, this time carrying you to his bedroom and setting you on your feet by the bed. He looks down at you with eyes so dark and gorgeous, then asks if he can remove what little clothing you have on. You tell him yes, and he pushes down the bottoms, which you step carefully out of.

When his hands move to the top, you hesitate, always self-conscious about this; he leans in and presses delicious kisses to your neck, your shoulders, slides the straps down, and looks up at you with caring, gentle eyes. You nod, and he pulls your top off, too, leaving you completely naked in front of someone for the first time in your life.

It’s such a rush, you wish he hadn’t waited so long to initiate this.

“You are so incredibly beautiful,” he says, and with the way he‘s looking at you, you actually believe it. He takes your face in his hands, kisses your lips, then moves down your throat again, your chest—he pays your nipples a bit of attention, flicking his tongue, scraping his teeth, and your mouth falls open in a silent moan. “So perfect.”

He puts his hands all over your body, sweeping over your arms, your waist, and he presses kisses to your stomach, your hips, your thighs. You want his mouth where his fingers were, but you don’t ask; it’s almost like he knows anyway, when he looks up at you from his knees.

“Has anyone ever tasted you?” You shake your head, and he puts his hands on your butt, squeezes softly, and guides you to lay back on the bed. “I want you to tell me how it feels, okay?”

Normally, you’re quiet out of necessity, because when you aren’t here you have an apartment you share with a roommate—even though most of the time, you sleep here whether you’re strictly required to or not. You’re quiet here too, because you’ve never wanted Aaron to know how he makes you feel, although now you’re really wishing you’d have found out sooner that he feels the same way. Imagine all the cool, quiet nights you could have spent on this bed, in his arms…

Shaking yourself out of the fantasy—because reality is literally happening, and it’s so much better—you nod, and he carefully spreads your thighs, leans in to tease his tongue along your slit, light and wet.

“Oh. Aaron.” He looks up, reaches a hand forward to twine your fingers together, and you squeeze them, moaning when he dips again, this time pressing his tongue inside you where you’re wettest. “Oh my-oh my god.” He leans in to press damp kisses to your lower belly.

“That’s right, sweetheart. I want you to come on my tongue—come on my tongue, don’t be shy.” Again, he slides it inside, brings his free hand up to rub you, and it’s not long before you do as he asks, shaking and tightening your grip on his hand. You’re almost embarrassed by how loud you are, but he is nothing but sweet when he comes up, whispers in your ear how well you did for him, how pleased he is to be the first to make you moan like that, to taste you.

He kisses your mouth so you can taste yourself, and groans when you reach for his head, hold him closer.

“Thank you,” you murmur, shaky, when the kiss breaks, and he rubs over your lips with his thumb like he did before, smiles softly.

“You don’t have to thank me, sweet girl. I told you I wanted to take care of you; I’m just so glad you let me.” You move your hands to the front of his shirt and rest them there, hoping he’ll take the hint, but he just gets a glimmer in his eye that makes the butterflies flutter low despite your very recent release. “Don’t be shy. Tell me what you want.” You flush, don’t know how to ask a man—especially a man like Aaron—to get naked for you. “Oh, there’s that blush. My sweet, innocent girl. You haven’t even been properly fucked, of course you don’t know how to ask for what you want. But I’ll teach you.”

He sits up, hovering over your body, gets his fingers on the buttons of his shirt and starts to slip them free. He has to unzip his pants to untuck it, and the sight and sound of that makes you whimper—you immediately tense, feel shame at being so vocal, but he just leans in to kiss you, soft and slow.

“You can’t wait for me to be naked too, can you? You want to see what a man looks like, feel what a man feels like. Don’t you?”

“Yes.” It comes out roughly, almost too low for even you to hear; you clear your throat and try again. “Yes, Aaron.” It earns you a slightly harder kiss, and he climbs off the bed to undress the rest of the way; your eyes are drawn to his erection as soon as it’s exposed, and he looks at you with nothing less than lust in his eyes. It makes you shiver and want to open your legs for him again.

“You’re staring. Have you touched a cock before—stroked it with your hand?”

“No. Can I?” you ask, sitting up against the pillows, and he nods, moves next to you, and takes your hand. You’re intimidated by the size of him, all the more so when he wraps your fingers around it, covers them with his, and strokes.

“Feels so good, baby,” he rumbles, slinging his free hand around your hip and holding you close to his body. He is so… just good looking, so different from your ex-boyfriend, from guys your age, and you look up at his face while you touch him, hoping to bring him even half as much pleasure as he brought you. Your eyes flick back down, though, after a short time, transfixed by the wet head disappearing into your fist. “Hmm. Good girl. Do you want to try putting your mouth on it?”

God, do you want to try that. You want to know what it tastes like, feels like on your tongue; you nod, scoot back a little so you can bend over him, and he puts his hands on your head, slowly guides your open mouth to hover over him.

“Careful with your teeth, and keep me nice and wet, okay? We'll go slowly.” He pushes your hair back from your face so he can see you better, which is sweet, and you nod, close your lips around him, let him show you how he wants you to do it.

He feels so big in your mouth, and you remember to be careful, to be wet, like he said. He’s not making you take him deeply, just a couple of inches, and when you’re not so nervous it feels really good, the weight of him against your tongue, his gentle hands teaching you what to do. It makes you feel useful, learning how he likes to be pleasured, and you enjoy finding ways to make yourself useful to Aaron.

“Perfect, perfect. Just like that—you’re doing great, sweetheart.” You hum around him, pleased that it feels good for him, and you’re stricken with the urge to feel him spilling into your mouth, but he groans and offers something even more intriguing. “Would you like to come sit in my lap? I want to press into your warm, tight, sweet pussy; I promise it will feel good, not like last time.” You make another noise, something eager, and he pulls you off and gets his hands on your waist, brings you up to rest against his thighs.

“Will it hurt?” you ask, just in case. You hadn’t thought to ask that last time. “You’re big; what if it doesn’t fit?” You look up at him, and warm, tender eyes peer into yours.

“It won’t hurt, and it will fit, I promise. We’ll make it fit. Lean up.” You stretch up a little, press your hands to his shoulders, and he rubs his hands soothingly over your body, kisses your chest, and then dips a finger inside you; you grip him tightly, moan, hold still while he moves it in and out, then adds another. “How does that feel? Don’t be shy.”

“Feels-feels good,” you breathe, and he pumps them together which feels so incredible, so new. He brings his free hand to your butt and squeezes softly.

“Good girl. I’m adding another. You’re so wet, it shouldn’t be a problem, but tell me if it’s uncomfortable.” The third finger makes you feel like you’re full up, a little snug, but you know you’ll need to get used to it if you want him inside; you breathe, will yourself to only feel the good, remind yourself that this isn’t like last time. Aaron is being so good to you; he won’t stop being good to you.

“Aaron.” It’s a gasp, a plea, a question, and he answers it by pulling his fingers out, putting his hands on your hips, and lining his cock up at your entrance, lowering you slowly onto it. You pant, moan as it slides in; it feels tight to you, and you’re so incredibly full, but his hands feel like safety and you’re not worried. He’s always taken care of you; he wouldn’t hurt you.

“You’re perfect, you’re doing so good. You feel so good.” He squeezes you, stretches up to brush his lips over yours. “We’re going to make you come again; I’ll give you the best night of your life, I promise.”

“Of course you will. This is already the best night of my life,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck, and he kisses you harder; you can feel his hands tighten, and it doesn’t hurt, only makes you want more, rougher. You feel filthy for wanting that, but it’s Aaron, and you want any and everything he wants to give; you also want him to take anything he wants to take.

He moves your body up and down, a show of strength that makes you moan, just a string of desperate sounds you’re a little embarrassed of; he appreciates the noises you make, though, if the way he grips you is any indication, his eyes determined as he makes you bounce on his cock.

“Oh, yes baby, just like that. How does it feel, sweet girl?”

“Mmh, good, so good, so good,” you sigh, your butt making contact with his firm thighs each time he brings you down on him. “Feels so good to be… to have it inside me.”

Aaron hums, frowns just slightly.

“Tell me what it is, baby. Your innocent little mouth can be dirty for me, this once. What feels good? What’s inside you?” His voice is a little tense, like maybe he wants to finish, but he doesn't change a thing, doesn’t hurt you so he can get there faster. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, curl fingers into his hair.

“Your… It’s your cock, Aaron. Your cock feels so good inside me.” You’ve thought the word, never said it aloud, but it makes him groan deeply, so you vow to say it again at some point just to savor that reaction.

“Yes it does, yes it does. Feels so good inside your perfect pussy, my perfect, sweet girl.” His hands move you faster, and you want to help now that you know this is how he likes it; when the two of you work together, it’s quicker thrusts, harder thrusts, your breasts bouncing along with the rest of your body and making you feel filthy, indecent. Amazing.

You lean in for a kiss, and Aaron turns it into something deep and decadent, delicious; you pass moans back and forth, holding tightly to him, the both of you breaking a sweat even in the cool air. You’re so close, so close to the ultimate pleasure you felt with his head between your legs, and you can hear your moans change, eager, needy things.

“Aaron please. Please.” You take his face in your hands, look into his eyes, bounce on him and kiss him and plead for release against his lips, and he holds you so tightly and climaxes, spilling inside you and pumping up into you, breathless.

“Oh, good girl, you did that. You made me come, baby. Not so innocent anymore, are you?” You shake your head—you don’t feel innocent anymore, you feel good, you want more, want to chase the feelings you’ve felt tonight, including the one still building inside you. “Now let’s get you off. I want to feel it.” He digs his fingers into your hips, so hard you think it might bruise, but in your heightened state of arousal it just feels good; you keep moving until your orgasm takes control of you, makes you grip his hair hard in your fingers and slam yourself down on him.

“Yes, yes, mmm.” He brings a hand to your face, softly catches your jaw, and guides you to make eye contact while you ride him through it until you are both spent, sinking against the bed. He sweeps his hands over your body, kisses you softly, and you melt at his touch. “That was so incredible. Thank you.”

“I told you, you don’t have to thank me. I wanted to take care of you; been wanting that for some time,” he admits easily, touching your cheek. “I’m just glad I could give you a good experience after the bad one.”

“Good doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Your voice is light, low, because saying things like this, talking about sex, is still so new to you. “I love being here for you, helping you with Jack, and anything else you need. Do you think you’ll want or need me like this again?”

“Oh, I don’t see how I could do without, if it’s something you want. Although I may have to return that swimsuit. It is pretty indecent,” he says with a somewhat guilty smile.

You figured as much, and for the first time tonight you feel very confident when you say, “No, I think I’d like to keep it.”

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#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #ask answered #anon #prompt

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chimielie · 3 years ago

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Congrats on 500! For your event, would you be able to do: An Atsumu Miya fic with “I’m revoking your s/o privileges” (#3) in a college AU? Thank you and congrats again!

yes i can!! thank you sm anon sorry it got longer than i intended for it to and hope u enjoy!

miya atsumu + "i'm revoking your s/o privileges." + college au (fic)

You know your boyfriend’s love language is touch. You knew what you were getting into when you said yes to him: the first time, when he wrapped an arm around your shoulders after acing an econ presentation and, his whole face red as a tomato, asked in a low voice if you wanted to see him outside of class. You rolled your eyes and said yes, Miya, and we’ve been hanging out anyway for the project and only did work during about half of those meetups, and then he’d pumped his fist in the air and taken a flying leap at the front row, landing with both his feet on the desk and whooping in triumph. That had docked your grade more than a little, but you’d never even thought to look back. The second time, you had been trying to make yourself presentable last-minute because he’d only notified you that he was taking you out an hour before he arrived, and he’d knocked on your door five minutes before he said he would. When you opened it, he was decked out in a suit and tie that matched the shade of his face and carrying so many roses that you nearly couldn’t see the aforementioned scarlet features. I really like-care about you and I’d like to make our relationship official, with your permission, and please say yes or I’ll cry, and shit, I didn’t mean to say that, he’d said, bowed in half with the enormous bouquet extended. You’d taken the roses and walked away to lay them on the table without crushing any of the vibrant petals, and then turned back to see him half-wilted in your doorway, only rejuvenated when you rushed back so he could grip you around the waist and twirl you around and press his forehead to yours after you said yes, of course I’m saying yes, I already told all my friends back home you were my boyfriend, anyway.

You know Atsumu loves touching and being touched; you can’t remember the last time you went grocery shopping without his hand in your back pocket or watched a movie without your head on his shoulder. You love him for who he is, heads and tails, both sides of the coin and the bumpy edges, too.

But this is getting to be too much.

“Atsumu!” You say, chest heaving, your hands on his own. “We’re in public.”

“So?” He asks, using his thumb to swipe at the corners of your lips, expression wholly self-satisfied and kiss-dazed.

“So there are elderly people watching us, one of whom I think just had a stroke!” You hiss.

“So?” He asks again, and one of your hands comes up to smack your forehead. “Can’t I congratulate you for your raise?”

“You can,” you say tightly, grabbing his hand and beginning to pull him away from the eyes of offended geriatrics. “In private. At home. With no old people watching.”

“Y’know, that was not a one-sided kiss,” he says, waggling his thick eyebrows at you. “You can’t put all of the blame on me.”

“Yes, I can,” you say. “Even if I had no way to, um, deny the former, I can and will confirm the latter.”

“Mm, talk debate club to me,” he says, planting a kiss on the top of your head. You scowl.

“I’m not talking to you anymore about anything ever again.”

“Baby,” he complains as your building looms into view, his already-thick accent getting thicker. “Babe, don’t even worry, it won’t happen again.”

“Fine,” you relent, and press your lips to his after looking around quickly to check for bystanders, signifying your forgiveness. “But you better mean that shit.”

“I do,” he nods eagerly, blond hair flopping into his eyes. “F’real, babe, I’ll think of the oldies next time.”

It happens again.

Three times.

The fourth, you last in your mock-punishment for a few hours, turning your head and turning every gesture of affection into something much less… well, classically Atsumu.

“I get it,” he grouses, slumped so his cheek presses up against the table. “You hate me and want me dead.”

“Everyone here loves you and wants what’s best for you,” you say primly, taking a sip of water.

“Well, if you’re gonna be like that,” he says, shooting upright. “Fine. My turn then.” You quirk an eyebrow at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m revoking your significant other privileges,” he says, his nose up in the air, and you nearly cough up water all over the blond when your head snaps to the side to look at him. “Cryin’ already, I see.”

You wipe furiously at your eyes, watering from the sensation of water going up your nose, and shake your head.

“You are so full of it.”

“Oh, I am, am I?”

“Yeah,” you grin at him, cocking your head. “Bring it on.”

Three days pass, more uneventfully than any other since the day you met Atsumu. The two of you are sedate, sneaking glances when you think the other isn’t looking, barely bantering, keeping your public displays of affection to holding hands beneath the table. One of your classmates approaches you to ask if you and your boyfriend are fighting, and though you don’t hand out the full story, you ensure that no one will think that the sudden distance means the end of your relationship.

“He trained me,” you moan, stretching out on your back, your head dangling off the edge of the futon to touch the floor. “Like Pavlov, or whatever. His freaking love language is contagious.”

“Okay,” says your cousin, completely bemused. “You and ‘Tsumu’s back-and-forth is weird, as per usual, and I don’t get it, but why not just—”

“Ambush him and end the fight at the most dramatic moment possible?” You sit up, kicking your feet. “You’re a genius!”

“Yep, you’re soulmates,” sighs your cousin, and before you can ask what that means, the words call ended flash across your screen.

You have a plan— it involves a balloon arch, a ring-pop proposal, and interrupting his psych class— you do.

But before you get to execute any of that, you come home and find your boyfriend loading the dishwasher.

“Hey, Atsumu,” you say cautiously, taking note of his slumped shoulders.

“Hi,” he sighs, and picks up another dirty plate.

“How was your day?” You ask, slinging your bag off your shoulder and picking up a cup from the sink, intent on helping him.

“No!” He yelps and snatches it from you. “I’ve got it.” Weird.

“Baby,” you say in his ear, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and rubbing his back gently. “What’re you doing?”

“J—just the dishes,” he says shakily.

“And?” You prompt.

“I saw ‘Samu today,” he says, and you lean closer, surprised that for once, he’s not taking the most direct route. “And I asked him for advice. And he called me stupid. And, uh, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You say, genuinely baffled.

“I don’t know, I just don’t like fighting with you. Even when it’s kind of a joke,” he admits. “I know it’s my fault, and I’m sorry. I miss you.”

Your heart cracks at the earnestness of his tone, of the way his shoulders hunch even as you hold him.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” you say, turning him to face you. “It was my fault it went on for this long.” He looks ready to protest, so you keep going. “I love PDA with you— I was talking about it with my cousin just the other day. I was gonna— it’s not important, all you need to know is that I missed you, too.”

He peers at you suspiciously.

“Does it have anything to do with the fact that Suna said he saw you at the party supply store ordering a shit-ton of balloons?”

“I hate that snitch,” you mumble. “Can’t we go back to professing our undying love for making out in public together?”

“I’ll remember that,” he warns you, grabbing you around the waist. “But seriously, what were the balloons for?”

#lia's love letters!#atsumu miya x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #hq!! x reader

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tennessoui · 3 years ago

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hi all of your aus are amazing! pls what happens with divorced!obiwan and the twins?

hey!! sorry this took so long i had to think of an appropriate cliffhanger

this is a continuation of this ficlet and this ficlet, where divorced!obi-wan accidentally acquires a partner and a set of twins.

(2k WHOOPS)

The twins are not, and probably have never been described by anyone except their father, angels. They take to Obi-Wan as well as Obi-Wan takes to them, which is to say that all three of them watch each other suspiciously until one day Luke launches himself off the top of the fridge--how the fuck did he manage to get up there--and Obi-Wan drops his morning toast in a frantic bid to catch him.

After that, Leia and Luke apparently decide he is Another Anakin Who Is Just Around A Lot Less But Is Better At Reading Bedtime Stories and deign to treat him as such.

Obi-Wan decides that he’s going to have a heart attack by the age of fifty. Do all children see a childproof house as a challenge?

It somehow takes both a longer and shorter time to win over Anakin’s favor, mostly because Obi-Wan isn’t sure what the man’s thinking at any given moment. He seems to blow hot and cold depending on how he woke up or how the work day goes. Some days, Obi-Wan comes home from campus and Anakin and the twins have waited to eat until he’s there. Sometimes they’ve eaten and there’s a meal under foil on the stove just for Obi-Wan.

(“I don’t know how you do it,” Obi-Wan tells him one night after the children are put to bed. “I mean, work from home with your job, mind the children, and cook?”

“They made me head of the R&D department a few months ago,” Anakin admits, taking a sip of his second glass of wine. “So I’m doing a lot more checking through other people’s work instead of making my own. It just means I can do that and make something edible--no, really, you just can’t cook, Obi-Wan, I’m not the best either.”

“Do you miss getting to make something other than food?” Obi-Wan asks eventually, giving himself enough time to recover from the sound of the other’s giggles.

Anakin shrugs languidly. “It’s better salary, and I’m the youngest ever in the company to have the position. Means I’ll pay off my student loans quicker, same with my mom’s hospital bills. Doesn’t matter what I want.”

Obi-Wan’s chest hurts and he wants to lean across the gap between their chairs and place his hand on Anakin’s arm, but they don’t know each other like that. It’s only been a month and a half since they moved in. Still. “It always matters what you want,” he insists. “And I think you’re amazing.”

Anakin blushes bright scarlet and takes a huge gulp of wine, and Obi-Wan wonders if this is a throwing-yourself-off-the-fridge break through.)

(It’s not because the next day, Anakin doesn’t say a single word to him, which bothers him more than he’d like to admit.)

(“Am I in the wrong for wanting to get along with my housemate?” Obi-Wan asks Quinlan despairingly during their office hours that he should be using to grade papers. Instead all he can think about is Anakin Skywalker and the goddamn cold shoulder he’s been getting from the man for the past three days.

“Yeah,” Quin says absentmindedly, marking something with a red pen before looking up at Obi-Wan’s outraged intake of breath. “I mean, no. I mean, sorry, Obi, what are we even talking about now? Is it still your hot new roommate with the two kids? Because that’s what we were talking about an hour and a half ago.”

Obi-Wan crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. “I’m just not sure I appreciate--”

“And you said he’s not been hanging around in the living room when you get home? But he’s still leaving you meals in the kitchen? And you’re upset about the free food?”

Obi-Wan is upset at the lack of Anakin’s presence, but he thinks that’s probably not the right thing to say here.

“Maybe he’s just tired?” Quinlan puts down his pen and rests his chin on one of his hands as he looks at Obi-Wan. “From the kids and the job and putting up with your moody ass. C’mon, Obi, what’s really getting you worked up?”

Obi-Wan purses his lips and stares at the desk in front of him, but he had come to Quinlan for help. He should at least be honest about what’s eating at him, even though he knows how silly it will sound when given a voice. “...Satine always waited up for me,” he mutters. “Until she didn’t.”

Quinlan’s quiet for a worryingly large amount of seconds, before he reaches out to pat Obi-Wan gently on the arm. “Oh, Obi,” he says pityingly. “Repeat after me. You cannot make your new roommate your rebound from your thirty year marriage.”

Obi-Wan scoffs. That’s not the problem at all. “That’s not the problem at all,” he says, not defensively in the slightest. “I think I’m just worried about the children not having enough structure in their lives.”

“Right,” Quinlan says, not quite managing to hide the skepticism in his voice. “Then you should talk to him. For the sake of the children.”

Obi-Wan will absolutely not be doing that, but it’s a nice thought.)

The real turning point in Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship happens five months after the Skywalkers move in.

Anakin and Obi-Wan are in the living room. Anakin is trying to braid Leia’s hair while Obi-Wan tries to pretend he isn’t watching. From the kitchen, there’s a very, very loud crash and the sound of something shattering.

Both adults leap up from their seats immediately and run to the other room.

Luke is standing in the epi-center of disaster, little face scrunched up like he doesn’t know whether or not to cry. At the sight of his dad and Obi-Wan, he starts to wail, moving forward and reaching for Anakin.

Obi-Wan, who is wearing shoes inside the house (a point of contention between himself and Anakin), grabs Luke roughly and picks him up by the armpits before he can cut his feet on the glass. He hands him over to Anakin to soothe, stepping further into the kitchen to find the dustpan he keeps in one of the pantries.

It’s very obvious what broke, though Obi-Wan can’t for the life of him understand how Luke got ahold of Satine’s heavy cake stand. He can definitely understand how Luke dropped it, as the thing was ridiculously heavy.

It had been one of the only things left in the house that had been Satine’s. She’d left it, and Obi-Wan had been too bitter or petty to point it out to her. Yes, it had been her mother’s. No, keeping it had not made him feel any better. But it’s not like Satine ever baked anything anyway.

Good for Luke, actually, for doing what Obi-Wan never could bring himself to do.

He grabs the broom and dustpan and marches back to the pieces of shattered glass. Anakin has placed Luke on the counter, ostensibly to check to make sure his feet are fine if the boy would ever let go of his father’s neck. Leia is peering around at the mess on the floor.

When Obi-Wan comes back and starts sweeping everything away, she darts forward to pick up a rather sizeable chunk.

“Don’t touch that,” Obi-Wan says sharply, much harsher than he intended. Leia drops it instantly and scurries back to her father, eyes wide and sort of watery. Oh, fuck.

“Hey,” Anakin snaps immediately. “She’s just trying to help and Luke didn’t mean to break--whatever that is.”

Obi-Wan holds up his hand to cut Anakin off. “I’m not mad,” he promises all three of the Skywalkers. And he’s not even lying. He’s really not mad, hasn’t even thought to be mad at this last piece of proof of his relationship with Satine shattering on his kitchen floor. “I just don’t want either of you to cut yourself. Glass like this can be very dangerous and none of you are wearing shoes.”

“Promise?” Luke asks, untucking his red face from Anakin’s neck so he can peer up at Obi-Wan.

“I’m sorry I was a bit rough,” Obi-Wan apologizes, coming over and bending down a bit so he’s on the same level as Luke. “I was just worried about you. Promise.”

Luke sniffles but lets go of Anakin to throw himself at Obi-Wan, apologizing all the way.

“Hush,” Obi-Wan says as Leia scrambles up his leg, vying for his attention. With his hands full of children that aren’t his, he raises his head to look at Anakin who’s watching them with a very strange expression on his face. He tilts his head toward the broom and then down to the kids in his arms. “Come along,” he tells them both. “Leia, I’ll finish your braids if you’d like.”

“Braid my hair too!” Luke demands with a pull on Obi-Wan’s shirt.

Luke’s hair is floppy but awfully short. “I’m sure we can figure something out,” Obi-Wan says generously, leaving the kitchen.

“I suppose I’ll just clean this up then?” Anakin calls sarcastically behind them.

“Thank you, darling,” Obi-Wan responds.

There’s the sound of something else breaking, but it’s not Obi-Wan’s problem at the moment.

(A year later, Anakin mentions something over morning coffee about looking for a new apartment, now that he’s got everything straightened out. “We’ll get out of your hair,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’ll look today since it’s my day off.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t want to examine why that idea makes something curl tightly in his stomach, making him feel vaguely nauseous, but it does. On his way out of the house, he unplugs the router, and then after a second of thought, takes it with him just in case.)

(Quinlan laughs his head off when Obi-Wan sheepishly puts the router down on the desk in front of him. “It’s a bad market right now,” Obi-Wan says defensively. “I’m just looking out for him.”

“Obi, I mean this in the best way possible, but there are at least four professors in the psych department that would probably love to do a case study on you.”)

(Two years after the Skywalkers move in, Obi-Wan is running late for a meeting with the head of his department. The man is stepping down, finally retiring, and Obi-Wan thinks that perhaps he’ll be tapped as the new head. It would mean dropping some of his classes, but it would be worth it.

“I made you a breakfast wrap,” Anakin greets him at the door, holding out a paper bag. “It’s got that salsa you like in it.”

The salsa Obi-Wan likes is the mild version of what Anakin and the kids eat, but Anakin treats it as if it’s from another planet entirely.

“Good luck!” he says with a sweet smile, also passing Obi-Wan a travel mug of what’s hopefully fully caffeinated tea. Obviously Obi-Wan needs it. He got perhaps two full hours of sleep last night, tossing and turning and thinking about this meeting and now he’s running late and his tie is crooked and none of his favorite sweater vests were clean.

“Thank you, dear one,” Obi-Wan mumbles, mind somewhere else. If traffic isn’t too bad, he could still be on time.

“Text me how it goes!” Anakin chirps, following Obi-Wan out the door to stand on the front porch with his arms crossed in an attempt to fight off the early winter chill.

“Yes, of course,” Obi-Wan replies, turning around to brush an absent-minded kiss to Anakin’s lips before hurrying to his car. It’s a twenty minute commute. If he gets his preferred parking spot and runs to the department building, he won’t be late at all.

Is that too much to hope for?

He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, looking back in the rearview mirror to see Anakin standing frozen on the porch. That’s strange, usually the other man can’t stand being out in the cold.

Obi-Wan gets to the first stop-sign out of the neighborhood before he realizes what he’s done. It’s lucky that he’s already slowing down, because he slams on the brakes. Did he--

Did he kiss Anakin? Did he really kiss Anakin as if he does it all the time? As if they were in a relationship?

Oh shit.

Frantically, he pulls out his cellphone from his bag and checks to see if he has any new messages. He doesn’t.

Oh. Shit.

#asks #one more ficlet in this universe and i will have No Choice but to piece them together somehow on ao3 #there was supposed to be a bit where one of his students is like 'oh i didnt know you were a father!'#and obi-wan is like 'im not a father'#and then he plugs in his laptop to pull up the powerpoitn for the day #and his background is a picture of luke and leia #not even doing anything theyre just sleeping peacefully in his favorite armchair hugging the same book #anakin had sent it to him #with the text that they were taking turns playing Obi-Wan and Student #but the game was so boring they fell asleep #KUWSK

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bloodorangesoup · 3 years ago

Text

Happy Twenty | S.R.

Summary: At the age of sixteen you and Steve made a pact that, if you were still both virgins by the age of twenty, you’d be each other’s firsts, just to get it out of the way.

Pairing: 30sPreSerum!Steve x Reader

Word Count: 8.2k I’m sorry

Notes: Before this I had no idea condoms were a thing in the 30s. This is my first Steve one-shot and I don’t know how much I like it because it’s kinda all over the place but it is a thing. It’s also the longest one-shot I’ve ever written so bear with me. Please let me know how I did and any other Steve stuff you’d like to read! Happy reading!

The first fireworks were lit as the clock struck twelve, patriots all throughout Brooklyn not being able to wait even a second longer to celebrate the country they loved so much. The three of you had decided once again to watch the first fireworks of the Fourth from Steve’s rooftop. It was a half Independence Day celebration, half friendship tradition to kick off both of your birthday’s together.

Bucky was sitting up on your right, elbows resting on his knees. Steve laid on your left, his hands folded and resting on his stomach. You laid in between them, your arms stretched above your head. A smile graced your face as you watched the fireballs shoot up in the air and burst into color.

“Happy birthday, kiddos,” Bucky said, a cheesy grin plastered on his face.

“You’re not much older than us, punk, you’re only seventeen,” Steve scoffed back. Your smile grew, watching your two favorite boys. You dropped your left arm down to wrap around Steve’s shoulders and bring him closer to you.

“Hey,” you said facing Steve, “you’re supposed to be nice to senior citizens,” you nodded towards Bucky.

“Ah, shut up, Y/n,” Bucky laughed, you and Steve following.

Silence took over the rooftop, the three of you admiring the colors painting the night sky. Your arm was still around Steve’s shoulder; you only noticed when you turned to look at him and realized how close your faces were. He turned his head, sensing your stare. Noses almost touching, the two of you stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before you flashed him a big smile.

“Happy sixteen, Stevie,” you whispered to him, admiring the flecks of green mixed into the blue of his irises. Steve’s smile grew, he let out a little breath of laughter.

“Happy sixteen, Y/n.” You glanced over his face one more time before looking back up at the fireworks, not wanting to miss the rest of the show.

Steve stayed facing you, taking in the rare moment he could stare at you in all your beauty. He shouldn’t have had a crush on you, you were his best friend, but he chalked it up to you being one of the only girls that ever gave him the time of day. His eyes drew down your eyebrows, remembering how excited you had been when your mom had finally let you start plucking them, to your eyes and they way they crinkled at the corners as you beamed at the sky. Every time a new firework would go off he would watch as the blues, greens, and pinks highlighted your cheekbones. He didn’t even realize he was staring until a gum wrapper hit him in the face. Looking up at the direction it came from, he met Bucky’s knowing look, one eyebrow up and a smirk. Steve just shook his head and looked back up at the sky.

Around one o’clock, Bucky had to walk back home. The three of you slowly walked your way down to the door of Steve’s apartment, stalling to prolong your time together.

“Alright, I really gotta get going now. Mom’s gonna whoop me if I’m not home by two,” Bucky said, putting his hands on yours and Steve’s shoulders before bringing you two in for a hug, “happy birthday, idiots.”

“Bye, Bucky,” you rolled your eyes.

As Bucky walked off, Steve unlocked his door and motioned for you to come in. Another birthday tradition you two had begun was to have a sleepover the night before. You would never tell Steve, but the only reason your parents were okay with it was because they figured they would never have to worry about Steve making a move on you. You hung up your coat and immediately made your way to the radio, a gift Steve had received the year before. Spinning the dial through the channels, you landed on one that had slow jazz music playing.

Steve got two cokes from the icebox and set them down on the small coffee table in the center of the living room. You sat on the floor across the table from him, setting up the checkerboard on it.

“Wish Bucky could’ve stayed this year with us. You know the only reason his mom gives him a curfew now ‘s cause he spent the whole night out with a girl last month?” Steve said as he moved his first piece forward.

“Big trouble for a date? Why’d he do a stupid thing like that?” You moved your first piece.

“He said he was this close to losing it,” Steve pinched his fingers together, “said he got his hand up her skirt though. Can you believe it? He’s only seventeen and he’s already almost lost his virginity,” Steve shook his head and sighed exasperatedly as you both made your moves.

You scanned the board, trying to find a safe spot, “You know, honestly, a lot of boys our age are starting to talk about that now, even some of the girls. Is it such a crazy idea?” You moved your piece.

“Maybe not for you guys. Girls tend to do anything to stay away from me,” Steve said with a disappointed sigh.

“Hey, it’s not that bad. And what do you mean ‘you guys’? It’s not like I’m one of the prettier girls or have any boys coming up to me at school or any of the dance halls, I haven’t even had my first kiss yet!” The both of you had stopped looking at the board.

“Neither have I,” Steve shot back immediately.

The air stilled, you and Steve looked at each other, thinking the same thing but not wanting to be the first to say it.

“Stevie?” you snapped him out of his head. He cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at you, telling you to go on. “Maybe these things would be easier if we just got it over with, y’know?” You hoped he was understanding where you were going with this, not wanting to have to explain and face his surprise.

“Yeah, I mean yes, I guess it’d be easier,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes.

“Steve?” You said again, firmer this time. His head snapped up, eyes meeting yours. “Would you wanna kiss me?” you asked slowly.

Steve stared at you for a second, waiting for you to laugh or tell him this was some practical joke Bucky had set up. Instead you were nervously twiddling your thumbs and turned your head down.

“Yes.”

You quickly looked up, eyes widening. Your mouth opened, words wanting to come out but failing. Closing your eyes and taking a breath you spoke, “Okay, let’s kiss.”

Shuffling to the other side of the table, you kneeled in front of Steve. Too nervous and too worried that saying anything might ruin the moment, Steve eyed you anxiously, the silence in the room instead being evaporated by the music softly playing behind him.. You took another deep breath before talking.

“I don’t know how to do this,” you said honestly, “everyone says it comes naturally but I’m kinda nervous.”

Steve let out a sigh of relief, at least he wasn’t alone in his worries.

“Neither do I, but I think we can figure it out, right?” Steve sat up straight, “I trust you.”

“I trust you too,” you nodded your head, sitting up on your knees, “alright, let’s just...do it.”

Wasting no time, you leaned forward, grasping Steve's face and kissing him quickly. It was a satisfactory medium, somewhere between a real kiss and a peck. As you pulled back, you saw Steve’s blushing face. He looked shocked, like he hadn’t known you would do that, but the corners of his mouth tilted up. You could feel the blood rushing to your face, the familiar heat taking over your cheeks.

“That wasn’t so scary,” you said, a smile growing on your face.

“Yeah, that was actually pretty nice,” Steve mimicked your smile.

Hands still on his cheek, you licked your lips before scrambling, “If you want, we could try again. Y’know the real thing. Just so we know what it’s like, though. Only if you want to.”

A wave of confidence overcame Steve, and before he knew what he was doing he had his hand on the back of your neck and was pulling you in. You gasped as his lips met yours once again. Leaning your head to the side, you parted your lips, prompting him to do the same. There was a moment when your lips interlocked that clicked in your head, the both of you knowing that this was how it’s supposed to feel. Too busy enjoying the rush of the new experience, you two kept going, giving each other kiss after kiss until Steve literally had to pull back before he’d have an asthma attack.

Breathing hard, you let your hands drop from Steve’s cheeks. You felt a big smile creep its way up your face, a laugh bubbling out of your chest. Steve looked up at you, catching his breath. He watched as you touched your cheeks and shook your head, a laugh slowly escaping him.

“We did it Stevie!” You lunged forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He let out a breathy small chuckle, hugging you back.

“We did, Y/n. Thank you.”

You pulled back and laid down on the carpeted floor, Steve moving to lay next to you. The two of you fell into comfortable silence. Staring at the ceiling, you contemplated your next question.

“Would you wanna lose our virginities together?” You asked, still staring at the ceiling.

Steve choked on his breath, eyes widening and head turning quickly to look at you. Hearing this you gasped and looked back at him.

“I don’t mean now, Jesus, Steve, I am not ready for that,” you giggled. Steve slowed his beating heart. Truthfully, if you had meant right then he would have said yes. After that kiss, he would’ve done anything you’d ask him to.

“What’d you mean, doll?”

You turned on your side to face him, resting your head on your palm, “I trust you, you trust me. I say we make a pact.”

“A pact?”

“Yes, a pact.”

Steve turned to his side to face you, “Alright, what’s this pact?”

You thought for a moment, “If by our twentieth birthdays we’re both still virgins, we do it together.”

Steve watched you. You spoke with all the confidence of someone who’d done this a million times but he could tell how nervous you really were.

“Deal,” Steve put his hand out for you to shake. You shook your head and grabbed his hand, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

“Enjoy that, it’s the last one you’ll get until we’re twenty,” you laughed, sitting up and moving back to your place on the other side of the table. Steve just laughed back at you and pretended to study the board, his mind too occupied with the feeling of your lips on his.

Highschool had ended for you and Steve, Bucky having graduated the year before. Over the years you had grown into your looks, your new maturity giving your face and your body a newfound attractiveness. Steve couldn’t help but notice how many more guys had talked to you in senior year, or how frequently you’d be invited to the dance hall on Friday nights. Still, the two of you remained best friends, Steve continuing to be the only boy to get the majority of your attention.

Steve really tried to right his head, but something had changed in him the night you two turned sixteen. You kissed, and he liked it a lot more than he should have. He couldn’t hide his feelings for you behind the veil of friendship anymore, he couldn’t even blame it on you being pretty. No, this wasn’t some new thing, he’d liked you for far too long for it to just be that. Stronger than his attraction, however, was his love for you as a friend. So he zipped his mouth shut, hoping that in a few years he might be able to kiss you again.

During the summer of your eighteenth birthday, you had gushed to Steve and Bucky about a guy named Charlie from The City who had asked you out on a date the week before. Steve sat with a faux smile on his face as you described how tall he was, how his green eyes shone, and how he was a whole two years older than you. He hated himself for it, but Steve couldn’t help but feel a little bit jealous. It’s not like you two had dated or done anything other than hug ever since that night on your guys’ birthday, but he didn’t like the idea of another guy kissing you the way he wanted to.

Much to Steve’s disappointment, the guy from NYC had really stolen your heart. Ten months after that first time you had told the boys about the amazing first date he had taken you on, you were walking back to Steve’s place with him and Bucky with a spring in your step.

“What’s got you so excited, doll?” Bucky had asked with a smile, pinching your side. You giggled and scanned the street, seeing people outside of shops eating ice cream and riding bicycles.

“Too many people out here, I’ll tell you guys when we get back to Stevie’s!” You giggled, looking as excited as ever.

The three of you rushed back, both boys curious about what had you so giddy. By the time you had made it to Steve’s front door you were jumping in place, biting your tongue to stop yourself from spilling the news too early. As soon as the three of you were inside and the door was shut you ran to the couch, sitting down and looking up at the boys, waiting for them to be ready to listen. The two sat on the floor in front of you, Bucky getting equally as excited and Steve smiling at the way your eyes were lighting up.

“Okay, y’know how Charlie and I have been together for about ten months now?” The boys nodded their heads, Bucky glancing at Steve as his smile faltered. “Last night we were in his apartment and,” you took a deep breath, “God, guys, we did it!” You clapped your hands together. There was a beat of silence before Bucky spoke.

“Wow, congratulations, doll,” Bucky said, kneeling up to give you a half hug. “He wasn’t an ass about it was he?”

“No, no of course not! Though, it wasn’t as fun as everyone had said it would be. But I don’t even care, I feel so grown up!”

Steve’s smile stayed plastered across his face. He wondered if you remembered the pact you two had made, feeling stupid for even having thought that maybe you would have wanted to keep it. Bucky walked you home that night. Before leaving, he patted Steve on the shoulder, giving him that same knowing look he had four years ago, this time with a sympathetic smile.

A few months had passed, Steve and you had celebrated nineteen, and the air was starting to heat up. Steve had passed up Bucky’s offer to go to the community pool, already knowing he would have spent the day sitting in the shade as Bucky chatted up girls. He sat in the living room, fanning himself and trying to escape the heat, when you showed up on his doorstep in tears.

“He said he doesn’t love me anymore, Stevie. I don’t know what happened,” you said through shaky breaths. Steve immediately knew who you were talking about and pulled you into his apartment, bringing you into a hug. He let you cry to him for nearly three hours, wanting nothing more than to punch that jerk of an ex-boyfriend in the face for doing that to you. And he did. Actually, Bucky did but Steve got a kick in there.

As time went on, you healed. You got over Charlie and Steve was happier than ever to see it. He had been there for you on countless nights when you couldn’t stop the tears from coming, when you decided to burn the little gifts you had received during the relationship, and when you started to smile again and would ask him to take you out to the dance halls. Steve had begun to forget about the pact he had been so hung up on as he realized he was falling in love with you. He had decided that, if his life continued with you smiling and dancing with him like that, he didn’t need to kiss you or lose his virginity with you, he just wanted you happy.

Unbeknownst to Steve, through the months you spent recovering from your breakup, you began to develop feelings for him. You had no idea why it took you so long to realize that the exact kind of guy you were looking for was in front of you the whole time. You were the happiest you could be when you were around him and he never failed to show you how cared for you were. Guilt coursed through you for falling for your best friend, your insecurities pointing out every reason there could never be anything between you two.

Almost a year had passed since Charlie had broken your heart and you found yourself happily sitting on the roof of Steve’s apartment with him and Bucky once again.

As first fireworks of the night had burst in the sky you let out a content sigh, “Happy twenty, Stevie.”

Steve turned to you to find you already looking back at him. In all honesty, Steve carried just a tinge of disappointment through this birthday. Even though he was happy just to have you by his side and watch you in all your joy, he had never completely forgotten about the pact you two had made, secretly dreaming of what could have been and how it could have led to more. But alas, you beat him to it, and he knew he would have to continue silently pining for you.

His eyes glossed over the brightness of your smile, remembering how the fireworks reflected off your face when you were sixteen and noticing how your cheekbones seemed more lifted and pronounced than they were back then. Steve focused on your lips. They were fuller nowadays and always accentuated with a thin layer of rouge. As he looked back up to your eyes you looked at him expectantly. Realizing he was caught staring, Steve cleared his throat and wished you a quick happy twenty back. You gave him a light chuckle, reeling inside at the fact he was so distracted staring at you.

As if on cue, Bucky’s voice broke through the awkward tension that had just formed, “Alright kids, happy birthday, but I gotta go.”

“Leaving so early again, Buck?” you asked, turning your attention away from Steve’s rosy cheeks.

“What’s your excuse this time?” Steve chimed in, sending Bucky a thankful nod for saving him from his embarrassment.

“Bec’s got a date to see the fireworks that I need to chaperone,” Bucky answered, burying his hands in his pockets.

“A date? To see the fireworks on the morning of the Fourth?” you asked incredulously, even Steve wasn’t buying it.

“Yup. Why else do you think Ma’s got me chaperoning it for?”

You and Steve just nodded and the three of you made your way down. Truthfully, Bucky didn’t actually have to chaperone Rebecca’s date, there wasn’t even a date at all. But he knew Steve better than anyone else and could tell how bad he had it for you. Bucky’d been hoping for years that he’d make a move and this was just another opportunity to leave you guys alone and give him a chance. Once Bucky was gone and you and Steve had gone back into his apartment, you two set up your usual routine, Steve would grab the drinks while you set up the checker board.

“I can’t believe we’re already twenty,” Steve called out from the kitchenette.

“I can’t either,” you shook your head as Steve set your coke down on the small table in front of you, “it feels like just yesterday we were here turning sixteen.” The last part made Steve stop in his tracks for a moment, his thoughts immediately going to the kiss from that night. You studied him, trying to see if he was thinking of the same thing you were. He recovered quickly, shaking his head and moving to the radio.

The tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. Your heart beat out of your chest, you knew what you wanted deep inside yourself. As he searched for a good channel, mustering all the courage you could, you spoke again, “Hey Stevie?” Your voice was shakier than you would have wanted to admit.

Steve’s body was rigid, almost like he knew what you were about to ask. To say that he was anxious would be an understatement. He had hoped for years of this exact conversation, but he’d never imagined that he would actually get to have it, and he had no idea how he would manage to survive through it.

“Yeah,” his voice came out gravelly, he coughed and swallowed the lump in his throat, “yeah, Y/n?” He fiddled with the dials on the radio to avoid having to face you.

“Do you remember that...pact that we made, when we turned sixteen?”

Steve had yet to actually get a channel going, quiet static being the only sound consuming the room.

“Yes,” Steve nodded his head, pausing for a beat, “that if we were both still virgins by tonight then we would have sex, so that we would be each other’s firsts.”

You kept quiet for a moment. At any time up to this point you could have talked your way out of what you were insinuating, but the next sentence out of your mouth would put everything out on the table.

“Would you still want to do it?” You asked quietly.

“Why?” Steve asked, “You’re not a virgin anymore, Y/n, you don’t need to have sex with me to lose it.” There was a hint of bitterness in his tone, so light that, if it was anyone but you, it would have gone undetected. You paused as Steve finally found a channel with slow music playing, not knowing exactly how to respond to him. Getting up, you walked over to where Steve stood by the radio, standing behind him. Wrapping your arms around him, you rested your head on his shoulder, tilting your head to the side to whisper in his ear.

“I trust you Steve. I know I’m not a virgin, but I want this.”

Steve was nearly shaking, this is exactly what he had craved for so long, but now that he was actually living it he was more nervous than ever. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he got deja vu of the night that had started this four years before.

“I trust you too,” Steve spoke into the air. Those words cemented all the questions and doubts that had been running through both your minds. This was happening, there was nothing to think about but each other.

Steve held your wrists, breaking apart their hold around him, and turned in your arms. There was a moment of silence as you faced each other, both of you wondering if the other could hear your pounding chests.

“Just like before,” you said, looking into his eyes. You were the “experienced” one in this situation, you wanted to calm Steve’s nerves as much as possible.

“Yeah, just like before,” he nodded. You gave him a quick half smile before dropping your gaze to his lips. Pressing your hands onto his back, you pulled him into you. His hands found your waist, resting comfortably on the curve of your hips. Letting out one final breath, you leaned in and kissed him. This kiss was different from the one you two had shared when you were sixteen. Kissing no longer being the intimidating part, it was more confident and full, neither of you holding back or shying away.

You slid your hands to rest on his shoulders, leaning up into him and pressing your chest flush against his. Steve could feel your breasts push against him, not being able to help the shuddered breath that escaped his nose. With shaky arms, he slid his right hand further down and let it rest right above your ass.

Suddenly, Steve felt your tongue glide against his lip. He wasn’t sure if that was supposed to happen, all he knew was that he really wanted you to do it again. When you slid your tongue in one more, Steve followed, leaving a heated mingling of lips and tongues moving against each other. You seemed to be getting into it, so Steve took a small leap of faith, moving his hand down until he was completely cupping your ass.

Moaning into his mouth at the feeling of his hands on you, you reached for his left hand. Pulling it off your waist, you slowly raised it to sit right above your ribs, dangerously close to your chest. Steve’s breathing slightly quickened, understanding exactly where you were taking him. He moved his hand the rest of the way, gently cupping the swell of your breast, whimpering into your mouth. You slowly walked the two of you back until the back of his knees hit the couch. Tearing away from the kiss, you gently pushed his shoulders down until he was sitting and staring up at you with red cheeks. Breathing hard, you grabbed Steve's hands, bringing them up to the first of many buttons running all the way down the front of your dress.

“Open it, Stevie,” you softly command, the words coming out as more of a plea. Steve’s eyes widened, only realizing right then that he would actually be seeing you naked. He nodded his head and swiftly began to unbutton the top. He fumbled as he got halfway down, his heart beat rising as he saw your bralette under the small opening he had made. Sliding the dress off your shoulders and letting it fall to the floor, you stepped out of the pool of cloth, leaving you in only your undergarments. Steve couldn’t control the way his eyes raked down your form. He never thought he’d be able to see a woman like this, especially not you. Shifting uncomfortably in his spot, you could tell Steve was starting to get hard.

“We’re a little uneven, Stevie,” you giggled, motioning to his fully clothed body.

“Oh,” Steve let out a little laugh, “yeah, okay.” He quickly removed his shirt, leaving his undershirt and pants on. You didn’t comment on it, figuring those would come off later as he got more comfortable.

“Do you know how to take off a bra?” You asked. Judging by how pleasantly overwhelmed he looked, you knew the answer was no. You had only asked because you wanted to talk as you went along to cool his nerves, also wanting to know just how much you were ruining his innocence. He shook his head so you stepped forward in between his knees, bringing his hands up and holding them to the clasp of your bra.

“There’s three hooks holding this thing together, just hold each side with one hand and push them together to unhook them, okay?” You spoke to him how you normally would, trying to get comfortable by reminding him that it was just you. Unbeknownst to you, that was the exact reason he was so nervous.

“Alright,” Steve bit his lip. He fumbled with the hooks for a few seconds until he finally got one undone. Smiling to himself, he quickly unhooked the other two and held the fabric taut against you. He looked up at you, his heart pounding, he knew what was next.

Sliding the straps off your shoulder, you took the fabric from Steve’s hands, forcing him to drop them to his side.

“Keep your hands on me, pumpkin, don’t be shy” you said. He slid his hands up your hips to your waist.

“Right, we’re way past being shy with each other now,” he joked, looking relieved when you laughed with him.

“Yes we are,” you smiled at him fondly, “you sure you want this Steve? There’s no shame in backing out now if you don’t.” You dropped one of your hands to caress his face.

“Yes,” he replied shakily.

He held your hand to his face, reaching his other hand up to the front of your bra, hooking his index finger over the fabric in the center. You let your grip on the band slacken, allowing him to pull it from your chest, looking into your eyes. Steve let his gaze wander down to your chest, a gasp escaping the back of his throat as he took it in.

“Oh-oh my god,” he murmured to himself, licking his lips as his eyes darted around trying to get the full picture and memorize every detail.

Taking hold of them once again, you slowly turned Steve’s hands to hold your palms to the backs of his. Steve swallowed hard as you brought them forward to hold your breasts, moving his hands to squeeze them softly. His eyebrows furrowed, his jaw hung slightly open. You dropped your hands to your sides, letting him massage your breasts and move them around in his hands.

“I, um, I don’t know what I should do. I don’t wanna mess anything up,” Steve started, his hands coming off your chest and hovering in the air. You shook your head, grabbing his wrists and bringing his hands back to your chest. Steve could feel your hardened nipples under his palm and held back a groan, the sudden urge to have them in his mouth fogging his head.

“Do whatever feels right,” Steve looked at you warily, “I promise I’ll tell you if something isn’t right, Steve.”

Nodding at your reassurance, Steve began to rub his thumbs over your nipples, flicking them back and forth. With one last glance up at you, he leaned into you and wrapped his lips around one of them, swirling his tongue around the hard bud. Your head fell back as a moan rose from your chest, a gasp cutting it off as he used his hand to pinch the other.

Tangling your fingers in his disheveled hair, you jumped when you felt his hand slide down your stomach to cup your pussy. You breathed out his name as he rubbed over you, switching to suck on your other nipple. It all became too much, you used the hand in his hair to pull his mouth off you, his lips popping off your sensitive nipple.

“Wait,” you said, breathless, “I wanna try something.”

“Okay,” Steve replied quickly, his hands moving back up to your hips.

You sank to the floor and sat on your knees. Steve had absolutely no experience, but he had a feeling he knew what was about to happen. A wave of nervousness washed over him, he could learn to be good at sex if he tried hard enough, but there was no changing his body. His hands fell over yours that were already working down the zipper of his pants. You looked up at him, he could see how dilated your pupils were, he saw the same eyes that would give him comfort during his dark times and would stare down anyone who had anything nasty to say to him. He took his hand off and gave you a quick nod and you got to work.

Slipping off his pants, you let your hand rest over the erection pushing against his boxers. Palming him, you leaned up to kiss him again. You slipped your hand under the band and slid your hand onto his dick, feeling how hard and hot he’d gotten from just touching you. Sinking back down to your knees, Steve lifted his hips so that you could completely take off his boxers.

You relaxed a bit at the sight of his cock, it wasn’t small by any means, but it wasn’t too big where it’d make you worried about how he’d fit in you. Wrapping your hand around his shaft, you began to stroke him up and down, spitting on your hand to ease your movements. Steve’s back fell against the couch, moaning as your thumb brushed over his tip and spread the precum that had leaked out.

“Ah- fuck, your hands are so soft,” Steve whimpered. He was in absolute heaven. He had never imagined having a girl touch him could feel so good. One thing he knew for certain was that he’d never be able to look at you the same way knowing how it felt to have your hand wrapped around his dick.

Steve looked down at you right as he felt you lick a line up his shaft, circling your tongue around the top. Meeting your lust filled gaze, he let out a stream of moans and whimpers as you sucked on his tip and took him into your mouth, bobbing your head. You took hold of his hand and placed it on the back of your neck, giving him access to guide your movements. He kept his touches light as he pushed your head up and down, feeling your tongue on the underside of his cock. Not before long he was pulling you off on him and instinctively jutting his hips forward.

“I’m gonna come, Y/n,” Steve said to you worriedly.

You giggled and slid your hands up his thighs, “That’s kinda the point, Steve.”

“No, I don’t wanna come yet. I wanna come when I’m having sex with you.”

Biting your lip, you nodded, “Okay, c’mon then.” You grabbed his hand and walked to his bed. Before getting carried away, Steve quickly ran to his bathroom cupboard to get the box of condoms he had stashed away. Sitting him down, you grabbed his face and kissed him hard. Steve’s hands wandered along your sides, reaching behind you and groping your ass with both hands.

Pulling back, you grabbed his chin and looked him in the eyes, “Do you want to lead the way or would you rather have me take charge?”

Steve blushed at your offer, slightly embarrassed at his lack of knowledge. He told you of his choice of the latter before pulling you down to kiss him again. His thumbs hooked under the band of your panties, his finders kneading your behind. With a nod of approval, Steve slowly pulled them down, his pupils blown as he saw the fabric pass down your mound.

Surprisingly, Steve didn’t need to be told to touch you this time. He looked up at you, asking for permission as he held onto your thighs, spreading your legs apart. With a small nod from you, Steve pushed the pads of his ring, middle and index finger through your folds, his brow furrowing at the wet heat pooled between them. You let out a small whimper as his fingers brushed over your swollen clit, Steve eyes quickly looking up at your expression.

He brushed his fingers over the sensitive bud again, “That feel good?” His voice had become huskier and it was only fueling the pleasure his light touch was giving you.

“Mhm, yes,” you moaned when he suddenly slipped a finger in you, “Oh God, Steve!” You braced yourself on his shoulder as he used his other hand to push your thigh up, placing your foot on the bed frame so that you were spread open for him to see. Steve watched as his finger slowly went in and out of you, his nerves jolting at the idea of his dick replacing it. Before he could even question his own actions, he leaned down and licked a stripe over your clit, the unexpected sensation sending shockwaves through your body. Steve had spent years imagining what it would be like to fuck you, but all that was on his mind at that moment was the desire to spend eternity with his mouth on your sweet cunt. You felt yourself start to grind your hips over his face and, for the second time that night, had to pull his mouth off you.

“Later Stevie, please, I want to feel you in me, right now,” you said desperately. Steve simply muttered an okay, his brain still foggy and high off the taste of you, and reached back to grab a condom. Slipping it over himself, he threw the wrapper somewhere to the side and looked at you. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of your naked form crawling onto the bed next to him.

“I don’t know if other people do this or not but I’m gonna try getting on top of you, okay?” You asked, looking equal parts nervous and antsy. Honest to God, your nerves were crazy; Charlie hadn’t tried anything other than missionary with you, you were terrified of doing something wrong.

“Okay,” Steve breathed out, “you ready?” You nodded back to him. Steve laid down on his back, his shoulders lifting up as he rested on his elbows. Swinging one leg over him, you shifted until you felt his dick rub against your pussy, your slick coating it and leaving a sheen. Both you and Steve moaned at the contact, groaning as you rolled your hips over him again.

Using one arm to hold yourself up, you leaned down and kissed him, slipping your tongue in his mouth. Sliding your hand down in between your bodies, you grabbed Steve’s cock, lining his tip up to your entrance and, breaking the kiss, lowering yourself down on him.

Steve let out a deep groan, he had no idea this is what it would feel like. His mind raced as he focused on how warm and soft you felt wrapped all around him. As you began to grind your hips over his, Steve reached up and held your breasts in his hands, squeezing them and pinching your nipples. Your head fell back, your breasts bouncing in Steve's hands as you rode him.

“Shit, Y/n, that feels so good, God, you’re so warm,” Steve said through gritted teeth. He could feel himself getting close, he wanted to hold on so bad, but the pleasure was too overwhelming and new. Pulling you down for a kiss, he remembered how he had touched you earlier and lowered his hand to rub over your clit. Your body jumped at the added pressure, Steve could feel you clench around him, your hips stuttering with every thrust. With a loud groan Steve released into you, his warmth spurring you on more. You continued to ride him through his orgasm, Steve’s hips bucking up as you took him for everything he had.

Screwing his eyes shut, Steve’s jaw fell open and his hands balled into fists at his sides, a guttural moan leaving the back of his throat as you kept fucking yourself on him. His balls clenched and his abdomen tightened, a gasp pulling at him when you quickened your pace. Shaking his head he began to whimper, cursing under his breath and chanting out your name and small “too much”s.

You regressively slowed the movement of your hips. Leaning down to kiss him, you brought your thumb up to his face to wipe a stray tear that fell. Steve took deep breaths to collect himself, looking you in the eyes as his hands came up to rest on your hips. Bracing your palms on his chest and feeling his rapid heart beat, you lifted your hips to pull yourself off him, Steve letting out a hiss as your tight walls released him.

Steve’s eyes stared up at the ceiling as you laid down next to him, your forearm resting on your forehead to cool the heated skin. Removing the condom and throwing it in the small bin next to his bedside table, he looked over at you with a soft smile before eyebrows furrowed and he turned his head completely toward you.

“Did you come?” Steve asked. It was less of a wonder and more of an interrogatory question, as if you had thought you could get away without doing so.

“I don’t think girls are usually supposed to,” you responded with a shake of your head. You really, honestly didn’t know if that was even possible and would have been satisfied if the night's festivities had ended right then.

“Why not?” Steve genuinely questioned. You shrugged your shoulders before he lifted his back off the bed, his body slightly hovering over you, “Well, I want you to.”

Raising your eyebrows, the words left your mind, only allowing you to whisper a small “okay” back to him.

Resting his weight on his forearm, Steve lowered his face to yours, kissing a trail from your cheek to your lips. His hands wandered down your stomach to your warm cunt, his fingers running through your folds again, spreading your slick all over his fingers. You let out a small whimper into the kiss, still sensitive from riding him. He began to leave tiny kisses leading from your mouth to your chest, his lips pulling in one of your nipples and sucking hard. As much as Steve loved having his mouth on your breasts, the only thought in his head was how much he wanted to taste you again.

Steve backed up to the foot of the bed, wet hand spreading your legs apart as he licked a line from your entrance to your clit and circled his tongue around it. A moan dragged its way out of you, your hands shooting down to tangle themselves in his hair. He continued to lick you in any and every way he could think of with his one goal in mind.

Your back arched as you felt a finger slip in you, Steve’s tongue never stopping, making you squirm. As his digit moved in and out of you, you could feel your stomach burn with anticipation, but you knew it still wasn’t enough.

“Ah, Steve, add another one, please,” you gasped out, your head thrown back against the sheets. Following directions, Steve slipped another finger into you, groaning at the feeling of your walls fluttering around them. His lips left your clit for a moment, his head rising to look at your chest as you breathed hard and fast and your face as whimpers left your mouth, a small sense of pride swelling up in his chest at the sight of what he was doing to you.

“Curl your fingers, Steve, please, fuck,” you cried out. Your hips began to lift and fall on their own, grinding over Steve’s face as you felt his fingers curl and massage the spongy sensitive spot inside you.

You let out a loud moan, not being able to control your body as your stomach began to twitch and your thighs began to shake. Tensing, your mouth hung open in a silent yelp as you felt the burn in your abdomen spread throughout your body, your orgasm crashing over you. Steve sucked your clit lightly as he felt you squeeze his fingers, proud of himself for successfully returning the favor and making you feel even remotely as good and you had made him feel. You laid limply in your spot, small aftershocks running through you as Steve pulled his fingers out of your and cleaned you up with a few more licks.

Crawling up the bed to lay beside you, Steve’s arms and legs brushed against yours. Silence washed over the room, the only sounds being your steading breathing and the faint music playing from the radio.

“That was a lot better than I expected,” you said truthfully. Steve glanced at your profile for a moment, a flash of disappointment hitting him as he realized the pact was over. There was nothing for him to hope for anymore, he was sure nothing beyond this could ever possibly happen between you two.

“What were you expecting?” Steve asked quietly, turning his head back to the ceiling.

“Not that,” you let out a small chuckle, “When I first did it, y’know with Charlie, it really hurt, and he didn’t really do anything other than come and stop there. It didn’t feel good like this did with you.”

“It didn’t?” Steve’s eyebrows furrowed again, frustration bubbling inside of him at the mention of your ex-bastard.

“I didn’t even know it was supposed to,” you said shaking your head, “this was a lot better.” You turned to him, eyes drifting over his eyelashes highlighted in moonlight down to the soft curve of his pink lips. The words were on the tip of your tongue, threatening to spill out if you looked at him any longer. You tried to tear your eyes away but you couldn’t.

“Stevie?”

“Yeah, doll?” He turned to meet your gaze, his eyes flickering down to look at your lips before moving back up. He wasn’t sure whether or not to be embarrassed about being caught staring at you like that anymore.

You couldn’t take it anymore. Body moving faster than your mind, you leaned in and kissed him, your hand resting on his chest. Steve’s hand found your naked waist, holding you to him as he invited your kiss and returned it. Both of you could tell there was something different about this kiss, no longer fueled by sexual tension or disregarded as some juvenile learning exercise. No, this kiss was purely happening because it felt right, because it just made sense.

Pulling away from him, you rested your forehead against his for a moment before sighing and rolling back onto the bed. Another wash of silence, both of you having something to say but keeping quiet.

You let out another sigh before closing your eyes and speaking, a sad tone lacing your voice, “I don’t know what happened Steve. It’s like one day we were best friends and then out of nowhere I like you.” The voice inside your head chastised you for allowing your feelings to get in the way of such a good friendship but it was quickly cut off.

“What?” Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he was sure some cruel part of his brain had imagined you saying it, still, he desperately wanted it to be true, “you do?”

You nodded, shame ran heavy through you, yet there was a hopefulness in Steve’s tone that made your heart skip a beat.

“I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it,” tears welled up in your eyes. You were sure you had just ruined the best friendship you’d ever had. Steve looked at you to find tears running down your cheeks, he could see your lips tremble and felt his heart break at the sight. Throwing his arm around your shoulder, he pulled you into his chest, shushing your cries and comforting you like he always had.

“Please don’t cry, doll. Y/n?” He tried to get you to look up and listen to him but your face remained burning in the crook of his neck. Not being able to hear your uneven breathing and sniffles he held your jaw and pulled your face to his, his lips softly brushing yours. Your faces were so close you could feel the soft puff of breath leave his nose.

“Y/n?” Steve tried again with a whisper. You opened your eyes, immediately looking into his hazy blues. Your eyebrows tilted, silently telling him to go on.

“I have loved you for longer than I can remember.” Steve’s heart was racing, finally having admitted the truth he had worked so hard to contain.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” you asked quietly, your voice croaky from crying.

“I never thought you could want someone like me,” Steve answered honestly, his eyes casting down to escape your gaze.

“I’ll always want you.” Your hand laid over Steve’s on your jaw. Sliding it off and moving to rest it on his cheek, your head moved forward, your lips catching his. This kiss was soft and sweet, neither of you needing to find an excuse or reason. It was innocent and genuine, despite your prurient position. Pulling away from him, you smiled at him, wide and expressive of your joy. Steve smiled back, ecstatic and in awe of how lucky he was to have you.

Letting yourself roll back over onto the bed, you opened your palm, fingers searching for his before intertwining together. Steve’s thumb rubbed back and forth over your knuckles as you two fell into comfortable silence.

“Bucky’s gonna blow his wig when he finds out,” Steve chuckled. You couldn’t stop the loud laugh that rumbled through your chest.

“Yeah, he is.” Tilting your head up you found Steve’s eyes already trained on you, a fond smile on his face. Giving his hand a squeeze, you let your head rest on his shoulder as you closed your eyes, ready for a peaceful sleep to overcome you.

#steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfiction

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storytellerofuntoldlegends · 3 years ago

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gods and the mortals they worship

A/N: honestly this idea started out due to the fact that scott and jack are gonna be housemates, and a friend and i were like "haha what if c!scott moved into Innit Hotel with jack" which turned into "haha what if c!scott was the god of mcc but he just seemed like a Dude to everyone else" which made my brain go brrr and think "haha what if god!scott and goddess!kristin met for tea" and then this fic happened. it got much angstier than i intended it to whoops

Warnings: implied/referenced temporary character death, grief/mourning, hugs, emotional hurt/comfort

Summary: Kristin, the goddess of death. Scott, the god of champions. Two deities that at first glance, have nothing to do with the other. But all the same, the two deities are close friends, meeting for tea and talking about the mortals they adore. However, some conversations painfully remind them of the mortality of their loved ones.

Kristin rather enjoyed it when a fellow deity joined her for tea. Not many would, XD was a little wary of her, being her opposite in a sense. And his sister Drista visited her often enough, but the young goddess was a bit on the rambunctious side, which was expected for the trickster. But the deity's whose visits pleased her the most were Scott's. The god of champions was always lovely to chat with, and she looked forward to each event he organized- always rooting for her husband's team, of course.

They met for tea weekly, but this visit... something seemed off about Scott. He seemed cheery enough, talking about how he had recently moved into the Innit Hotel with Jack and the other servers he was drifting between. But there was a melancholy expression on his face for a brief moment as he traced the flower pattern on his teacup, and a lost, faraway expression would come over his face from time to time. These were expressions Kristin recognized all too well- grief. She saw it in the faces of many mortals when she called their loved ones to her side- and it was unnerving to say the least to see such an expression on a god's face.

"Who are you mourning?" she asked, startling Scott slightly. The god's ever color-shifting eyes refused to meet her.

"The loss of my mcc team, of course," Scott countered with a half-hearted smirk. Kristin gave him an expression of disbelief, and the smirk melted away to something more downcast as he fiddled with something on a chain around his neck. A ring.

"Oh Scott," she said softly.

"Tried the married life thing. It was nice, for a bit. But it was a modified hardcore world, and it didn't end well. For him... or for me," Scott said, hand drifting to his throat with a grimace. Kristin set down her tea, placing a comforting hand on Scott's shoulder. Scott had a unique position as a god- he was one of the few who felt the sting of death. As he willingly lived among mortals most of the time, his godly power had to be diminished to do so. Which meant he could die- but it would never truly stick for him. Granted, death didn't really stick for most of the crowd he stuck around with. They would be reborn into other servers, maybe retaining impressions of the ones before- but Scott was the only one who truly remembered each server he had been on.

"I'm so sorry. Is he..." Kristin trailed off, unsure if she wanted to know if Scott's husband had been reborn into a different server.

"He's on another server with me now. Empires SMP. Calls himself the Codfather these days. I keep hoping he'll remember... but I don't know if I want him to," Scott said, eyes watery.

"Why not?" Kristin asked. If she was in a similar situation with Phil, she absolutely would want him to remember her.

"Because what kind of god can't even keep his husband alive?! I couldn't protect him before, who says I could do it now. Besides with my luck, by the time he'd remember me, I'd only lose him again. Why waste the effort on more heartbreak," Scott said, something vengeful in his tone. The aura around him tinged red, and Kristin drew her hand back with a jolt. Scott took notice of his surroundings, and with a sheepish smile his aura shifted to something more neutral and warm.

"That's why you're hiding in the Dream SMP with Jack, isn't it? You don't want to risk him remembering," Kristin asked softly. Scott let out a sigh.

"I'm not... hiding, exactly. Just lying low, somewhere where I don't have to pretend I'm not a god," Scott explained with a faraway glance.

“What if you were to tell this... Codfather," Kristin suggested. Scott wrinkled his nose in disgust in the name.

"Jimmy. His name is Jimmy," Scott corrected, sounding reverent as he murmured his name the second time. It was almost silly, a god worshipping the ground a mortal walked on- not that Kristin was one to talk. But then again, Phil wasn't exactly mortal.

"Then why don't you tell Jimmy the truth about who you are," Kristin prodded. Few knew the truth about Scott's godly status- Phil, most notably, and Wilbur. And now, she supposed, all who were on the Dream SMP. Otherwise, most knew Scott as someone who had a connection to the god of champions, and carried out his invitations to the games- not that Scott himself was the god in question.

"I... I don't know. Maybe it's safer for him if he never knows," Scott said with a sigh. Kristin squinted at him suspiciously.

"Scott, I've known you for centuries. Tell me the real reason you don't want to tell him," she said pointedly. Scott laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. With a deep breath, his expression settled into something more solemn.

"I don't want things to be different between us. I liked the way it was, on that modified hardcore world. We had a flower valley, with a pond and overgrowth and- and his silly insistence on wanting to protect me, like I was the fragile one, not him. I even experienced a brief afterlife with him, after we had lost all our lives on that world. And that... that was beautiful. But then things reset, and he was reincarnated. And how could I not follow him?" Scott said wistfully. His eyes shone with bittersweet tears, a fond smile on his face.

"You truly have the heart of a mortal, my friend," Kristin said with a soft smile. Scott chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well I certainly can't let anyone know that, think of my reputation," he joked. Kristin laughed.

"Oh please, we all know how much you cherish your champions," she teased.

"Don't tell a soul," Scott said in a mock-serious tone.

"Oh please, the only souls I know are dead ones," Kristin replied with a chuckle. Scott laughed too, but it fell short as his eyes landed on the flowers that decorated the teacups.

"I think the worst part is that he sees me as an enemy. I guess rightfully so, I pushed him away because I was afraid of letting him back in. I don't think I'll be able to look him in the eyes if we end up on the opposite sides of a battle," Scott said, voice fragile as the delicate teacups on the table before them.

"Maybe there's still time to make amends. You could extend some token of peace towards him?" Kristin suggested gently.

"Maybe. I just..." Scott trailed off.

"You just want to mope around in a world of constant hardship and destruction?" Kristin teased lightly, smirking. Scott laughed.

"I guess the Dream SMP isn't the greatest place to hide out," he said, still chuckling. Kristin was relieved to see her friend back to his more genuine smiley self, multicolored eyes glinting with amusement.

"Maybe not. Are Phil and Wilbur staying out of trouble?" Kristin asked, picking her tea back up to sip at. Scott laughed again.

"Staying out of trouble is asking a lot for your family. But I think Phil has forced Wilbur to make friends with Ranboo," he replied, picking up his tea as well.

"Oh? How did that go?" Kristin asked.

"Not sure, honestly. I think they opened a burger place? I've mostly been keeping to myself in the Innit Hotel," Scott said with a shrug.

"I'm sure Tommy loves that," Kristin said dryly.

"Oh yes, cussed me out until I threatened to not let him on mcc anymore. He changed his tune pretty quickly," Scott laughed.

"Doesn't Jack actually own the hotel now?" Kristin asked.

"Yes, but Tommy doesn't seem to know that," Scott answered with a sigh, shaking his head.

"I'm sure he'll get over it. Probably still a little jumbled from being brought back," Kristin muttered, unable to help looking miffed at that. She wasn't exactly fond of people being torn from her domain, especially by an overzealous mortal and the god who he eerily resembled. Although she couldn't exactly blame XD, the book had called him and he was forced to answer.

“Maybe life and death shouldn’t be toyed with anymore,” Scott said softly, after a few beats of silence. Kristin thought of Scott’s struggles with death and rebirth, then thought of her own family. Her husband who survived and lived, never dying- and her son, who fought and died, but ended up living.

“You wouldn’t see me complaining,” Kristin replied, voice coming out more melancholy than she meant it to. Scott looked to her with brows creased in sympathy.

“What a pair we make,” he said with a humorless laugh. Kristin laughed too, just as bleak as Scott’s own laugh.

“The goddess of death whose loved ones live, and the god of champions whose loved ones lose,” she said, voice forlorn. Scott set down his tea, dropping his gaze from Kristin’s.

“I do tend to be drawn towards the lost ones, don’t I?” he said with a weak smile.

“Nothing wrong with rooting for the underdog,” Kristin pointed out with a shrug. Scott looked at the flowers on the teacups, and his smile was a bit brighter this time around, less sad and bittersweet.

“I guess not. Maybe you’re right, maybe there is time to smooth things out with Jimmy,” Scott said, looking back up at Kristin.

“Good! Being mopey doesn’t suit you. And telling him the truth couldn’t hurt either,” Kristin insisted brightly. Scott rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

“Okay Mumza, no need to get on my case. I said I’d try and smooth things over, not reveal that I’m an all-powerful god that was married to him once because I like playing mortal,” he replied, dragging out her nickname with a teasing grin. Kristin grinned back.

“I guess your situation is a little different than when I told Phil I was a goddess,” she said semi-sheepishly.

“Phil was also hopelessly head-over-heels for you when you told him. Jimmy is decidedly not,” Scott pointed out with a laugh.

“Oh Jimmy will come around eventually. If he knows what’s good for him,” Kristin said, sipping at her tea. Scott blinked at her in confusion.

“Are you threatening my ex-husband?” he asked, tone so adorably baffled that Kristin couldn’t help but laugh.

“All I meant was that he doesn’t know what he’s missing. Any man would be lucky to have captured your attention," she clarified with a teasing grin. Scott flushed in embarrassment, the aura around him tinging pink.

“You’re acting like an embarrassing mum trying to convince her son to get out there and start dating,” Scott huffed, trying to play off his flusteredness.

“You’re the one who called me ‘Mumza,’” Kristin pointed out, still grinning.

“This is rude, I’m being attacked and you’re twisting my words against me now-” Scott cut off with a laugh, unable to keep up the mock-offended act as his aura shifted back to being a neutral warm color. Scott finally looked the most himself that he had been all day- aura full of warmth, a smile on his face, and color-shifting eyes sparkling.

“Oh, whatever will you do?” Kristin teased. Scott shook his head, picking up his tea and finishing it off with one last sip before standing from the table.

“I think I’m gonna leave, actually. It’s about time I head out anyway,” Scott said. Kristin looked at how low her own tea had gotten, and sighed before standing with a gentle smile.

“Well as always, it was wonderful to have you. I hope everything works out,” she said softly, holding out her arms. Scott hugged her without hesitation, and Kristin got the feeling he was silently thanking her for her advice through the hug.

“See you next week?” Scott asked after he pulled away.

“I look forward to it,” Kristin replied. Scott smiled, giving a two-fingered salute before disappearing in a burst of color. The lightshow faded, leaving Kristin in her rather gloomy domain. The loneliness after a fellow deity left was always the worst, and the heavy conversation from before didn’t help matters much. Scott and Kristin were very similar beings for two deities that ruled over extremely different things- both of their hearts were too big, too smitten with mortals. Scott could at least compete alongside mortals if he so chose, but Kristin was in a plane of existence that her loved ones could only reach through tragedy. Perhaps Scott had it worse- Kristin could at least distance herself from mortals, while Scott stubbornly refused to. But all the same, Kristin was hopeful that things would work out for the god of champions. And maybe, things would work out for her family as well.

MCYT Taglist: @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @hetapeep41 @space-ace123

#dsmp #3rd life smp #empires smp #mumza #scott smajor #mcyt #mcyt fic #hurt/comfort #sage writes

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kuroyukihime · 3 years ago

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Bakugo x Reader: Choose Me [Pt. 1]

[LOTS OF ERROR; TO BE REVISED]

“HEADLINE: PRO HERO – DYNAMIGHT ANNOUNCES HIS MARRIAGE”

It was fucking news to everyone, heck even the No.1 Pro Hero busted through his office doors demanding an explanation. It was so out of the blue as the picture of him together with another girl at a restaurant, with him reaching out touching the woman’s cheek spread like wildfire all over the internet. No one knew he had been dating, no one even knew he was interested in others. Literally everyone thought… Bakugo Katsuki was after you. You who had been there for him since high school, never in his personal space but always was with him, never failing him and was always doing your best to be there for him whether he needed you or not. You always did your best not to let your feelings get known specifically to him, so when others noticed him warming up to you and then inviting you to his agency (which he was just planning on having and building) right after fucking graduation and then the event where the villain almost had you and he literally went full murder mode just to retrieve you, everyone thought for sure you guys were going to end up together. So—

“Kacchan!” Slamming his palm on Midoriya’s face, Bakugo gritted his teeth “You’re way too close, you damn nerd!”

“Bakugo-kun! What is this? Is this true?” Uraraka asked, showing him the article on her phone

“Ha? What part of it do you not understand, Round cheeks? It’s exactly what’s written there!” He growled

“But… Not even we know you were going out, you’re always at work!” Kirishima reasoned

“AH! SO ANNOYING! GET OUT OF MY CASE YOU IDIOTS! IT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS! NOW FUCK OFF!” He snapped, gritting his teeth in frustration

“Katsuki!” A voice called out to him from behind, everyone’s attention turned to you as you simply smiled, holding your phone close to your chest. The way you were gripping it tight didn’t go unnoticed by many, especially Bakugo

“Congratulations!” You grinned and Bakugo just stared at you for a second before scoffing and looking to the side

“Yeah… Whatever…”

The silence that followed was thick but no one knew what to say. Still true to your role however, you were still his sidekick, and his second in command of the agency. You still had work to do.

“Ah that’s right minna! It’s still noon, you shouldn’t be flooding here unless you have businesses to attend to! Back to your agencies you go!” You ushered them out

Please. No more gazes of pity. Please get out. Or else… I won’t make it through…

“(Name)-san…” Midoriya looked at you with concern in his eyes as you slowly closed the door of Bakugo’s office. Standing there in front of everyone, you took a deep breath and hardened your smile. You needed to make it. Just until the end of the day… please

“We can talk later… For now, you guys have work” You bid them all goodbye “I’ll see you later”

Without even giving them a chance to reply, you retreated back to Bakugo’s office, unintentionally slamming the door harder than expected

“Oi”

You visibly flinched when he called out to you. You really weren’t in the mood to talk to him, more or less stand to be in the same room as him. You could feel yourself starting to break little by little

“Whoops sorry, didn’t mean to slam that harder than intended. Oh by the way, you haven’t done your patrol yet, right?” You laughed, going over to your desk and rearranging the papers “I can take over the shift for you, I need some fresh air anyways” You said and by the time you finished talking you were already out the door

Bakugo glanced at the huge open windows lined up in his office room, literally placed right behind where his office desk stood parallel to

“Fresh air my ass” He grumbled

EARLIER THAT DAY…

“HA?! AIN’T NO WAY I’M DOING THAT SHIT! GO DIE!”

“B-but Dynamight! The aristocrat’s daughter is in danger! The only way we can catch the villain that has been stalking her is if we announce a public wedding!” The higher ups tried to reason with him

“THEN FIND ANOTHER RICH ASSHOLE FOR THIS SHIT OR BETTER YET SET CCTVs OR HERO AND BODYGUARDS ON STAND-BY TO GUARD THE BITCH! FUCKING THINK!”

“A-ah, we’ve already set those up, but we need a pro hero on her side since the initiation will surely happen at the wedding and the daughter specifically requested you to guard her!”

He honestly feels disgusted by that information

Keh! Bitch is a fan, fucking great

Then again, this was a huge group of villains they’re talking about. Sighing in annoyance, he eventually agreed. Now, how was he going to explain this—

“Ah by the way, Dynamight, you can’t speak a word about this to anyone. The villains have a member that can camouflage and has another that has intense hearing from miles away. Strictly not a word until the mission is done”

BACK TO PRESENT…

A ring coming from his phone brought him back to reality. He fished his phone out from his pocket and looked at who had texted him.

“Father said we should meet up at X Restaurant, see you there <3”

Staring at the door where he last saw your retreating figure, Bakugo took a deep breath and shouted in frustration

“FUCKING SHIT!”

At your part, jumping from roof to roof, you tried your best to do the patrol as diligent as possible. You needed to clear your mind as well. This ugly, painful feeling stirring up a storm inside of you made you clench your fist in frustration. It’s your fault for expecting so much, your fault for reading the signs wrong and it was your fault for loving a person who promised you nothing. Letting the tears finally drop, you silently cried at the rooftop alone. You had no idea how long you were crying however, even this time of wallowing wasn’t given to you by fate because after a few minutes, you heard distant crying and screams and as the sun was setting, you squinted your eyes, noticing something from the distance before the villain charged straight at you.

You seethed through the pain of your body hitting the floor of the rooftop with such force as the villain loomed down on you. Ah fuck, those were going to leave bruises. Summoning your weapon, you roughly grabbed the Villain’s foot and shoved him out of the way.

“I’m kinda in a bad mood… Sorry” You muttered, charging straight after the villain

As usual, the news were already on your tail. The villain provided quite a bit of a fight, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. Plus, with the negative emotion fuelling you, it wasn’t long before the villain finally gave himself up in exchange for his life. When the news reporter asked for an interview, you simply turned and ignored them. You can’t have cameras up in your face this time, everyone will notice the puffy eyes. However, your cold actions startled everyone. You were known as the kind one between your duo, while the Pro Hero Dynamight was as brash as he can be, you were always the one the media counted to speak in his behalf. Always smilling, always having such a warm aura. The usual welcoming hero-type.

Returning back to the agency, you honestly didn’t even think about getting your wounds treated first. Honestly speaking, you didn’t even notice you had small wounds. Though they were only scratches, it still needed to be disinfected. It was only when Kirishima stated it with slight panic in his voice that you noticed.

“Ah! (Name)! Why didn’t you go to the hospital to get that treated?”

You smiled, as hard as it was, you tried your best “There’s really nothing to worry about, I can just treat this with First Aid”

You retreated to the locker rooms and got the first aid, silently mending your wounds alone until a loud knock came from outside

“Oi”

Taking a deep breath, you stood up, the bandage still wrapped loosely on your forearms and answered the door. Putting on another fake smile, you grinned

“Yo!”

“Don’t fucking Yo me, get out here, look how shitty those bandages are wrapped around you. You wanna get infected?” Bakugo nagged

“Ah! No it’s fine—“

His glares made you shut up and simply comply with his request. He dragged you towards inside the office and made you sit on his chair

“Wh—“

“Tch stop fucking complaining and seat, dammit”

The way he handled your wounds with utmost care, like you were such a fragile being, made you want to cry again. Soon, another woman will experience this. You weren’t special to him. Maybe you were, but not in the sense you wanted. Much like Kirishima and the others, you were simply a dear friend to him.

Just a friend

His phone suddenly started ringing, you wouldn’t notice it but Bakugo felt his blood turn cold. He knew exactly who was calling. He immediately snatched his phone before you could take a peek who the Caller ID was.

Sighing loudly, Bakugo answered the call

“What? I told you never to call me unless it’s an emergency, right?” He snarled

“You’re mean Katsuki-n, I’m already at the restaurant! Where are you?”

You dreaded to hear that overly sweet voice, it made you want to throw up, further more apparently Bakugo had a date, what the heck was he doing taking his time with you then? Slowly standing up from the office chair, Bakugo’s other hand slammed on the sidearm of it, trapping you. His glare was on-point again. You wondered what was he so pissed off about? Pouting slightly, you sunk back to the chair

“I’m still doing shit, who told you be there so damn early?! Also I told you not to call me by my first name! WE'RE NOT FUCKING CLOSE”

Your eyes widened a bit, a little bit of pride welling up inside you as you remembered how in their meet ups, Bakugo would always be there earlier than you and how he had no problem whatsoever when one day the way you called him suddenly changed from Bakugo to Katsuki

“Eh? More important than me?”

Unconsciously, Bakugo licked the upper part of his lips as his gaze went to you, staring at the reports on his desk completely unaware of his eyes. He smirked

“Damn right bitch, a lot more important than you”

Your eyes widened, eyes immediately meeting his. You were about to retort but his hands were quick on your mouth

“Anyways, I’ll fucking be there in an hour, don’t be fucking annoying”

With that, Bakugo hung up, not even waiting for the girl to reply. He removed his hand from your mouth.

“Don’t fucking talk, I’m gonna be found out”

You looked to the side, unable to meet his gaze, the blush spreading like wildfire on your face.

“You have no delicacy, Katsuki” You commented and Bakugo couldn’t help but chuckle

“What the heck did you expect from me?” He paused for a bit “Work comes first”

And just like that, your new budding hope was crushed. Of course… Even you were considered a load to him.

“There, done, next time I’m coming with you on patrols” He said, standing up and walking away from you, carrying the first aid with him “Go home”

You felt despair. This bitter feeling was becoming too much now. You stood up and hurried out, going straight for the locker room and changing out of your hero clothes. You wanted to go home as soon as you can. Everything was piling up and it was becoming too much for her to handle.

Next time I’m coming with you on patrols

You gritted your teeth. First the marriage, then he suddenly doubts your strength to do things alone. Slowly… everything you’d ever done to build a good relationship with Bakugo was slowly crumbling. Grabbing your bag, you ran out of the building, ignoring Kirishima, Sero and Kaminari’s shout of concern.

On the other locker room, Bakugo was cherishing the feel of your lips on his hand, bringing it close to his mouth, he tried to feel as much as he can from the past sensation. He heard the others calling out your name so he went outside to see what the commotion was, only to find the entrance door sliding to close

“What’re you idiots yelling at?”

“Ah, (Name) suddenly ran outside, she seemed like in a real hurry, I mean she didn’t even bid goodbye to us like she always does” Sero explained and Bakugo just stood there before staring at his hand and clenching it.

You didn’t even bother waiting for him like you always do

Hell finish this mission as fast as he can before he loses you.

At the train, on the walk home, you kept your head hung low until you’ve reached your apartment. Closing the door, your body slid down on the door as you finally, finally let everything out. So much had happened in one day that it was too much for you.

Bakugo Katsuki was going to get married… not to you

Another woman will be on the receiving end of his affections… not yo

He’s beginning to doubt your skills… that’s on you

You cried and cried, not caring about anything else in the world. You kept at it until your body gave up and eventually you fell asleep on the entrance. You had a short unpleasant dream however, it was a dream where Bakugo kept walking forward and no matter how much you ran, how much you yell out his name, he didn’t stop, he didn’t even look at you, it was like you weren’t even there, but when another woman was right behind you, unable to walk by herself, Bakugo turned around and past by you, carrying the girl in his arms, laughing and smiling without a care in the world as he left you behind once more.

You woke up from then on, feeling your entire body cold as a result of sleeping at the entrance. You didn’t bother standing up yet though. Your mind was too busy rethinking the dream. You clenched your hands near your chest and gritted your teeth as another wave of tears threatened to spill.

You’ve decided.

For the first time, you were going to kill these feelings and stand by his side as one of his best friends. You’ll take what you can. You’ll kill it over and over again, no matter how many times if it means you’ll be with him longer. It pains to admit it, but you feel like you can’t continue working under him if you let your one-sided feelings continue and you can’t have that. You can’t bear it, thinking of living a life without Bakugo in it, atleast as a friend and a sidekick, you will still be there at his side. You just need to be there by his side… Be satisfied with that…

“…Atleast… let me be selfish one last time… before I kill off this feelings” You muttered, feeling sleep overcome you

#bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki #mha #bnha #dynamight #mutual pining #bakusquad and dekusquad are greatwingmans #misunderstandings #bakugo will not give you up #explosive boi

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