#no female homosapiens

[tangeringe]

guys the lesbian askblog will be probably done by tonight or today or whatever the fuck time it is for you are you ready!!

[the-muppet-joker]

Greetings, homosapiens.

My name is Kermit. I also respond to The Joker, The Croaker, the Clown Prince of Crime, Dark Muppet, and Mr. The Frog. Pronouns are self explanatory.

I am a Kermit and Joker combined kintype with kin memories. I also ship Kermit with the Joker and am in a romantic relationship with both of them.

♤ ♡ ◇ ♧

DNI:

Other Kermit/Joker Kintypes

People who post about wearing felt (the matierial I am made of as Kermit)

Batman Kintypes, fuck you Batsy

Marvel fans (self explanitory)

Reylo shippers-- disgusting.

Hank Green apologists

Minors or people over 30, just a preference

People who use AI-- support independent artists!

Vivziepop antis (see above)

Pokemon fans. Animal cruelty is disgusting.

People who don't support the men's rights movement. Fuck you.

Women. Females. Get off my blog foids.

Those of you on the WRONG side of ace discourse. You know who you are.

Hazbin hotel/Steven Universe fans, y'all are annoying.

No Sans/ AU Sans kins, especially Error!Sans. Was traumatized by a sans kinnie, if youre reading this, fuck you Error.

People who are afraid of seeing what darkness and depravity look like. Heh, run while you can.

[jojikawa]

Vash the Stampede x Starfire!reader

Vash the Stampede and a Fem/Fem-bodied reader who is an Alien Princess that ends up in Noman's Land!

dividers

Vash didn’t expect to see many other forms of life apart from Homosapiens. Humans. The standard stuff. Before Meryl, Roberto, and Nicolas, he was mostly on his own. It was hard to separate himself from his brother who would terrorize everyone. They were twins, after all. So, when he came across you, someone who clearly wasn’t human, he was extremely surprised. Just at a glance, he wasn’t able to tell exactly what you were but it didn’t seem good at all. You were humanoid which was identifiable enough, looking similar to a human woman. Vash only learned of you because there was a huge commotion of “some chick” going around and terrorizing a large settlement.

At first, Vash believed it to be Naï before he learned it was a woman. When he finally came in contact with you, he saw how distressed you looked. Your body language showed it all.

Vash was the only person who could restrain you because everyone else wanted to deal with you through violence. Although bullets didn’t have any effect on your diamond skin, they made you much angrier and that would only put more people in danger. He tried over and over to talk to you but you were unable to understand his language, so he communicated the only way he knew that worked.

He pressed his forehead to yours lovingly, hands holding either side of your head. It was an odd gesture but it worked for the plants…and it was the only way to keep you from headbutting him. Lucky enough for him, it worked! You seemed to calm down. Although, it wasn’t because of his thoughtful gesture. You just became extremely confused and eventually docile. Then he removed your cuffs.

“My name is Vash. Can you tell me your name? Where you’re from? I can take you home.”

The only thing Vash received in response was a cute head tilt from you. At first, he believed you to be mute until you actually began speaking. 

“Zu’u krosis nuz Zu’u nis mindoraan hi.”

“Eh!?” Vash sweatdropped with a blush of embarrassment covering his face. He’s never heard a language like that before. You beckoned him to bend down to your height and once he obliged, you pressed your lips to his. The kiss made his cheeks turn red and burn with delight!

When you pulled away, Vash stepped back. You held your fingertips over your lips. “Mmm…V-Va-sh?” You repeated, broken English and all before correctly saying his name. “Vash.”

You smiled kindly. “I am sorry if I’ve startled you with my actions. It was the only way I could learn your language.”

Vash, now astonished at your ability to speak perfectly, could only stare and fumble over his words. “I-I…uh *ahem* No problem!” He rubbed the nap of his neck with his prosthetic arm. “Can you tell me where I am in the solar system?” You asked politely.

Your new escort noticed that your attire was extremely different. It was skimpy but tattered as if you had just escaped from somewhere. 

“You’re on Noman’s land—H-Hey, you should put something on! It gets really cold here at night.” Vash began to remove his jacket. “Why are you giving this to me? Does it not belong to you?” You allowed him to place his cloak around your shoulders, closing it just a bit to hide your body. It was very much clear now that you weren’t human but your body was extremely humanoid with assets similar to a human female. Your appearance could be considered distracting given that your clothes were partially destroyed, leaving yourself for all to see.

“T-Trust me. You need it way more.”

You looked down at yourself, unsure of what he was referring to. You dismissed it, carrying on the conversation. “Can you please inform me of what the ‘land of no men is’?” You looked around for a brief moment. “Just at a glance, I can see that this place is nearly uninhabitable. Is that the origin or ‘no men’ and if so, why are you here?”

Vash laughed awkwardly. “It’s a long story. First, we need to—“

“Hey!”

The two of you were interrupted by a group of people. They had guns, all pointed at you. They surrounded the both of you and the circle grew ever smaller.

“Out of the way, Vash.” An older woman motioned her gun to the side. “It’s best we trade this gal for a new plant.”

The confrontation made you furrow your eyebrows. Your eyes began to glow. “Do not worry, I will handle the hostiles.”

Vash didn’t know at all what you were trying to do but he could tell you would easily kill these people. “N-No! Wait!” He threw out his arms, trying to cease the conflict between you and the citizens of this run-down village.

Unfortunately, at the same time, the people fired their guns, and lasers shot from your eyes. You would have killed the ones in front of you if Vash didn’t tackle you. Neither of you were hit by the bullets

“What are you doing?” You questioned, pushing him off of you. “I’m protecting them! Dot hurt them!” The man begged. 

“Last chance! Give her over.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Vash, why are you protecting these inhabitants? They are using lethal force on me while you are in the crossfire.”

Vash got up from on top of you before quickly turning to your attackers. “Guys, it’s okay! I’ll fix the plant and you’ll never see her again!”

And that’s how your relationship with Vash the Stampede began. He somehow convinced the townsfolk to let you go despite the damage you caused. You began traveling with him on his adventures and met new humans called Meryl, Roberto, and Nicolas.

They all had their different opinions of you. Roberto wanted nothing to do with you, only believing you’d bring more trouble. I mean, why did you show up the way you did? Yeah, no. Anyways. 

Meryl believed you were important somehow. Vash told her how the two of you met. It would make an amazing story! She asked you many things, even about your homeland. Of course,  she was skeptical at first, but who isn’t?

Nicolas thought you were the cutest. He loved teasing you with words and phrases you didn’t know or failed to understand. He nicknamed you “firecracker” because of your temper.

Yet, not all of them knew your story. Your real story. Being a gentleman, Vash didn’t want to pry, even if you were an illegitimate couple. He felt loyal to you somehow because of your circumstances and he was the only person you ever kissed to expand on the human language. That means you two cared about each other, yeah? There seemed to be some kind of boundary. 

The lot of you settled down for the night with a campfire. The humans were tired and didn’t want to spend the night driving. They were hungry as well.

Meryl wanted to know more about the attack that ensued when you first arrived. She claimed that it would make a good story, even telling you that she could possibly be promoted from it so, naturally, you felt obligated to help one of your friends. The small group began to grow on you and made you feel as though you could trust him.

As you told your story, Vash couldn’t help but give you a sad look. You turned out to be such a nice person and he couldn’t believe the situation you were in.

You sighed. “I have learned that my native tongue is nearly impossible for lower life forms to pronounce. That is why I have you call me (y/n) instead.” You ignored Roberto taking a swig of his drink with a big sigh. “I am from a planet that is…light years away. I am considered to be its leader. Like…a princess of sorts.” 

Meryl almost choked on her water. “A princess!? I have to write this down…” 

“You’re a princess?” Your partner tilted his head, his eyebrows raising at your statements. You silently nodded. Your gaze fell into your lap. “We were invaded by hostile life forms who tried to enslave our people. To keep bloodshed to a minimum, I tried to form an agreement with the invaders.” Your gaze shifted to the side, looking at the distant sandy wasteland. You hadn’t properly processed the whole situation. “We didn’t believe the agreement wouldn’t last long so…my twin sister sold me to them to ensure her own freedom once they attacked again.”

“Evil twin?” Roberto raised an eyebrow. “We have enough of those already.”

“There’s…space wars? Do you hear this?” Meryl glanced at Roberto who shook his head in response. “Not the time, newbie.”

Meryl jumped. “S-Sorry…I’m sorry that your sister sold you out like that.” Nicolas tsk’d, pulling out a new cigarette to satisfy his urges. “Your sister sounds like a real bitch.”

Bitch? You’ve never heard that word before.

“Bitch..?” You repeated. You turned to Vash. “May I…?” You pointed to your lips, signaling to him something no one else could understand. “Y-Yeah, sure.” 

The humanoid typhoon felt butterflies in his abdomen and his chest burn whenever you wanted to “learn a new word.”

The trio watched as you and Vash closed the distance between each other, kissing each other deeply. It only lasted for a second. You smiled softly. “Thank you.”

Turning to Nicolas, you nodded your head. “I agree. My sister is a ‘real bitch’.”

Vash laughed awkwardly, not at all expecting you to say the word so well. Meryl was even more confused. “What was that?!”

“What was…what?”

“You kissin’ needle noggin,” Nicolas smirked at you, giving you new and different vibes. It was still hard for you to read someone like him. “Needle noggin…? Oh! You mean Vash! On my planet, we can learn languages through lip contact. Vash is my translator.”

Meryl held a surprised expression for a moment before exhaling loudly. “Phew! I thought he was your boyfriend!”

“Boy…friend!?”

“Kissing or ‘lip contact’ is something that people who are a couple do. We…aren’t a couple.” Vash leaned over and spoke close to your ear. It seems that your customs could be mistaken as romantic.

“What’s wrong with Vash being my boy-friend?”

Meryl shrugged. “I mean, if it’s true that you’re some alien princess then Vash is the most unlikely person to be your lover in my opinion…right?” She laughed, elbowing Roberto who didn’t humor her.

To be honest, Vash felt the same way. You were almost…exotic in a way. Who knew that out of all people in the world, he would get along with you: someone who isn’t even from this world! The plant nicknamed the “Humanoid Typhoon”, cast aside without being given a second thought, knew what it was like to feel wanted by someone! In a way, he didn’t deserve you or your kind nature.

“Hm…” You looked down at your lap again before smiling. You clasped your hands together and gave Meryl a close-eyed smile. “I think Vash would make the perfect boyfriend!”

“Anyway.” Roberto cleared his throat. “This, uh, slave trade thing. What’s supposed to happen with that? They’re not gonna come lookin’ for ya, right?”

“Oh! The invaders should not know where to find me, at least for now. The land of no men can not be detected on most locators since it’s unable to naturally sustain life.”

Nicolas stood up, exhaling a long cloud of smoke before stretching. “That’s good enough for me.” He began to walk off. “I’m gonna hit the hay.” 

“Yeah, me too.” Roberto made his way back over to the truck as well. “Come on, newbie.”

“It’s Meryl!” The young reporter narrowed her eyes at the older man. She sighed before standing. “You gotta tell me more about your customs in the morning! You have no idea how many people would be interested in hearing your side.” Her eyes held an innocent sort of eagerness. One that gave you joy. “Sure! I can not wait to tell you more.”

And then it was just the two of you left.

“Is there something wrong, Vash? You are rather quiet tonight…You have not eaten as well.” You took a portion of the cooked meat and held it to his mouth. “Do you need assistance?”

“No, no.” He gently moved your hand away. He gave you a sad smile, conveying how dejected he was to you so clearly. “I just…wish that there was a way I could protect you.”

“Protect me?” You grabbed Vash’s hands. “You have done such a good job protecting me already! I can also protect myself. You have nothing to worry about because we have each other.” Your face began to heat up. It felt like you were unofficially confessing your feelings to him. The only thing that stopped you from fully committing was the thought of rejection. You’ve been through so much with him already, but would he really want to be with a weak leader? A princess who failed to save her people and was captured?

Vash had a fear of rejection too. He knew for certain that you would probably want nothing to do with him once you’ve encountered Naï. There was just no way. They bled the same blood. Somehow, hearing about your hard past almost confirmed it for him. What would happen once Naï found out about you? He would stop at nothing to obtain you. If only there was a way to send you home.

You began to get worried when your partner didn’t answer you. He seemed to have zoned out, which was very unlike him. “Vash?” You called softly, bringing one of your hands up to his cheek. Your thumb rubbed it tenderly and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Nothing will happen to me.”

You felt like your words weren’t exactly putting him at ease so perhaps, you would need to let him in on more of your anatomy.

“I…I have something to tell you.” 

This made his eyes widen. You didn’t exactly look happy either.

“You can tell me anything.” He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was touching his face. You inhaled softly, preparing yourself internally. “My powers are fueled through…emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness, and love. I have very strong emotions of love that are connected to you. So, I am not worried about the harm that should befall you or me because I am strong enough to handle it.”

Vash’s already-tinted cheeks turned a deep red. His pupils retracted at your confession. He couldn’t believe the things that he was hearing from you. He’s been trying to push down his feelings for you for months!

“And…” you continued, averting your eyes. “I like the idea of lip contact with you—oh! And you being the male friend.”

“Boyfriend or…just friends?”

You blinked. “Well, you are my friend, that's a boy.” You squint your eyes at him. “…or at least I think you are. You seem to be male-identifying.”

Vash sighed, closing his eyes gently. You seemed to be a bit confused but, how could he blame you? He chuckled out loud before muttering “You’re so adorable.”

Your cheeks burned when he leaned in to kiss you one more time. He placed his free hand on your hip, pulling you slightly closer to him. His other hand gently squeezed your wrist. When he pulled away, he left you wanting more.

When you realized what happened, you leaped out of his grasp, covering your mouth with your hands.

“Aw, I didn’t scare you, did I?”

[therealmuppetjoker]

GREETINGS, HOMOSAPIENS.

No, that can't be right. That sounds so... obsolete. Let's try this again, shall we?

SALUTATIONS, MY FELLOW MEN AND NONBINARIES.

Welcome to my blog. I go by many names, including Kermit, Mr. Kermit, The Joker, The Muppet Joker, The Croaker, The Clown Prince of Crime, Dark Muppet, Mr. The Frog, and The Real Muppet Joker.

I am a Muppet Joker kintype. All of his kins have been inherited as my own sub-kins, and these include:

Main: Kermit and the Joker (obviously)

Secondary: Bro Strider from Homestuck and Adam from the Bible

I DO NOT KIN VRISKA SERKET FROM HOMESTUCK. Unlike my, shall we say, "predecessor," I have read Homestuck all the way through without sullying my moral values. I would never kin a woman.

I am also aware (spoilers incoming) that Dirk Strider is a h*rse lover. I choose to believe that Bro would never associate with those things and saw the error of his ways early in his mental development, which is why I kin Bro and not Dirk.

Now... where were we? Heh.

FAQ:

Are you the original Muppet Joker?

No. I am a Muppet Joker kintype. My history begins to differ from the "original" Muppet Joker's when he starts kinning Vriska Serket. Since that point in our history, I have developed separately as a distinct entity.

What makes you the "real" Muppet Joker?

Because I am superior to the original one. I have read all the way through Homestuck, but I did not become a feminist. This gives me all rights to The Muppet Joker identity.

Are you single?

No. I am in a closed Relationship with Kermit and the Joker.

Why are you an anti-feminist?

If you don't know why, you might as well leave right now. This blog is not for Outsiders of the Men's Rights Movement.

DNI:

Other Kermit/Joker kintypes

Other Muppet Joker kintypes

South Park fans

All females/girls/women

Anyone who uses Biblical imagery in non-Biblical fandom content, or anyone who talks about "Biblically accurate angels" as a meme. My past/culture is NOT your aesthetic.

Shifting antis

Equine furries/otherkin. It reminds me of my kin trauma.

Sans Undertale (including AU's) kintypes - also kin trauma.

"Neurotypicals"

Bigots

People who use the rainbow flag. The rainbow is ONLY for God and Kermit the Frog. (I myself use the MLM flag, which is blue and green.)

People who don't think we need stricter gun safety laws

Parents

Pro-choice

Pro-life

People who identify with the color royal purple. It's MINE.

Potterheads

If you have ever been on the Bachelor

[olderthannetfic]

I kind of get confused sometimes when people say women fetishize queer trauma in their books. Most of the ones that had lots of queer trauma and violence I’ve read were written by queer men. I did see people accusing Becky Albertalli of doing it with Simon versus the Homosapiens before she came out so I don’t know. But I do get the feeling these people would be up in arms if they ever read something like Drawing Blood by Billy Martin.

--

Billy Martin is the poster child for the sort of "woman" these people are mad about, and not just because of his books' content.

For those who aren't familiar with him, he started his writing career as Poppy Z. Brite, goth babe and icon of 90s nerds who thought Hot Topic was too mainstream. A lot of his fans from back then still don't know because he changed genres and then stopped writing. (Surprise, fellow olds! He switched to male pronouns in 2011.)

His 90s novels were some of the m/m that was most accessible to my generation, and they were gothic horror filled with fucked up shit happening to pretty woobie boys. Peak fujoshi-bait.

Also all of the women died in gruesome ways or were forever alone losers because all the men worth having were into other men.

Even as a massive fan, I always raised my eyebrow a bit. I eventually stopped reading Brite because I found "her" too weird about female characters in downer ways.

Years later, when Billy had started to figure things out and was living out his Hurricane Katrina trauma on his Livejournal, it became a lot clearer why he was so fucking weird about things in the 90s. Not just gender. Fear of AIDS and other things too. Dude had a lot going on, and it definitely informed his dark-as-fuck early books.

It was years before he unpacked enough of his other trauma to figure out he wanted everyone to use male pronouns for him and to fully live as a man instead of just feeling like not a woman.

I haven't read his work in years, but I felt for the guy. He wrote movingly about his mental health struggles.

The point of writing out all this is that it took Billy nearly twenty years.

He spent the 90s describing himself as "a gay man in a woman's body", but in a way that often sounded fetishy and weird. He was the target of appropriation discourse, though nothing like you'd see today.

Whomever is today's Poppy Z. Brite isn't going to be Billy Martin until 2040.

[smiley-mcdoggington]

When you get a chance pleaseee tell me about your A/B/O biology ideas and everything that goes into the world building. Like the whole kissing thing has me wowed and also the societal stuff you have built in there. I’m suuuperrrrr fascinated by your thinking

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEE

SO the thing is the existence of male and female as "primary sexes" doesn't reallyyyyy make sense with another sex trinary layered on top, at least not unless you're a fungus. Plus the existence of alphas, betas and omegas having similar but not the same function while not being called different things for males and females makes me think it makes more sense in googoo imaginary taxonomy that males and females are subspecies of homosapiens that very early on learned to cohabitate and interbreed. Not until they got to the same subspecies though, they're still different enough to tell, even if they're so entangled you can have fraternal twins born from one of each and born to be one of each (though male-female twins are probably a lot more rare than in real life and I almost called real life Canon just then I need to walk into a lake) I tried going more into paragraphs but I kept jumping around so I'm just gonna ask myself questions and answer them

Why are amabs built different than afabs if both are subspecies that can bear children?

Okay so originally you could find afabs in harsher climates while amabs lived in better climates with harsher wildlife. Afabs were built to live in nomadic groups, using their stronger legs to walk longer distances and their higher healthy fat percentage to insulate from cold and since they lived in decently large groups together they had more time for proper courting - that's why they mate like birds, they have to have two partners work in tandem, either party can very easily buck the other off, and it's a little harder to procreate but that doesn't matter because they're gonna be around eachother pretty much their whole lives in their nomadic groups and they can always do it more, and it helps that alpha, beta and omega afabs can all be impregnated so it's easier to raise larger families. Amabs meanwhile were built for much smaller groups and spent much of their time on their own, if they met someone of a compatable sex they probably weren't going to stick together for long so their procreation needed to be fast, efficient and not necessarily as easy to reject (kinda like ducks). They're built to fight other animals and other amabs but not travel as much because their natural resources were more abundant, and they're all able to impregnate because their survival method was pretty much to knock up an omega on sight (that's where the strong heat and rut pheromones came from, even tho the trait leaked over to both amab and afab over the centuries and I'm not going to think abt that past that because i wont acknowledge the dominos that'll lead to humans unable to speak our current spoken languages). But they started intermingling about the same time they invented agriculture, even if it was still normal for amabs to stay spread out close to borders while afabs were close together in the heart of settlements. This all kinda went away as time progressed and the two subspecies have become more homogenous but that's why they're still kinda built that way. (though much less drastic, amabs used to average like 7' tall while rail thin and afabs used to be much more stout, now they're different the way real life people are)

How's the sexism?

Not great, but women have rights so that's a plus. Betas are at the top of the ladder in the modern (industrial) age, theyre jacks of all trades, intersex (but less virile than a&o) don't have any debilitating estrous cycles, and can easily pair with anyone. Below them is Alphas, who sit at a lot of places of power but are generally considered ill-tempered and untrustworthy when joining the workforce. Omegas are below that, and were in a downward stride after ww2 because people wanted families and omegas were the best family makers (in this context male omegas are placed lower than female omegas because they have harder times having kids without medical intervention because of their narrower pelvises). Afabs are still put below amabs in positions of power because society is made in past casts and amabs were more physically capable when it mattered more (even if afabs are on average a bit smarter in this because of more room for sexual selection as nomads) but the typical stereotypes are that male alphas are rapists, female alphas are weak and overzealous, betas are cold and unfeeling, female omegas are whores and male omegas are useless. None of this is true but people love calling people names.

How does this affect how Constance is treated?

Constance is especially weird because of this social climate. She's a female alpha which means she should want a small group of friends and/or family to live with and care for (pack mindset is more an afab thing but both can and do). Afabs are supposed to be more social because of their history and because of their smaller statures, a strong and charismatic alpha like her would be able to very easily find friends and thrive in tight-knit communities but she is actively excluding herself and rejecting herself so she can stay near her brother who was excluded and rejected by others. It's really weird, even knowing their relationship it's weird. Her type isn't meant to depend and on and solely care for one other person, it's unhealthy but Constance won't change because she won't leave Ford to sit out alone and Ford, who holds a resentment for everyone because the world made him like 4 different minorities at once, won't let anyone in. Constance is expected by her family to take care of Ford because Ford doesn't talk much to anyone but her and only trusts her - plus he's just an omega, what's he supposed to do? She likes submitting to Ford because it takes away the pressure to be Ford's social filter and know what's best for him always and Ford likes dominating her because she likes it and because it's a power trip over an alpha.

[firstfirerebel]

I'm sick off J.K. Rowling!

Controversal? Maybe, since I write about HP. But her behavior is not ok! Writing books about her FEAR (?!) of trans people and supporting a transphobic political party? Like, ARGH! That's wrong on so many levels! Trans people have always existed, just like homosexuals (she's not homophobic as far as I know, but very transphobic)! Many researches and studys also found out that the brain of trans people works like the gender they identify with. A ftm (female to male) trans man brain works more like the brain of a cisgender man than the brain of a woman (the identity he doesn't identify with). Same with mtf women! There are animals who have same sex partners or who can change their sex. Animals don't know homophobia. Only humans do (and that's because the homosapiens are dumb). Love is love, and your gender identity is valid. In my opinion, you can't just say,'I support lgbtq without the t' TRANS PEOPLE BELONG TO THE COMMUNITY! It's L (lesbian) G (gay/homosexual men) B (bi) T (TRANS) Q (queer) + (and more,...) after all. Trans people aren't just some weird nerds who just want to annoy people, THEY WERE BORN IN THE WRONG BODY! Just imagine you getting reborn as the gender you can't identify with! That's horror, cause your whole body changes in puberty and does something you don't want (trans men get breasts, trans women grow more masculine). Besides, your gender identity and sexuality are two different things. If someone comes out as a trans lesbian, they are a lesbian! That's not a f€tish. That's their sexuality. Just like a trans man can come out as gay or something else(my own friend is a trans bisexual). I do not tolerate homophobics/transphobics/racists/sexists/pedos or whatever harms others. I don't care if I lose followers because of that. Let people live their lifes! And don't force your opinion onto them, and never harm them just because they don't share your opinion. (That's also what the n*zis did, so if you do it, you are no better than them)

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

A few days ago, I attended my sister's baby shower.

The main attraction was the "Don't Say 'Baby'" game. Basically, you wear a necklace and if someone catches you using the word, you forfeit it to them. Whoever has the most necklaces wins.

At least, that's how it normally goes. My mom decided that it would be better to play it in a sudden death manner: If you said the word, you were out, period. And it would continue until one person is left.

My mom made the mistake wise decision of including me in it, despite the fact that I had headphones on full blast because...people. I didn't protest, deciding that I would do what I always do. "Oh, you have not to say that word? What if I just don't say any words?"

That was my immediate thought, and I stuck to it. Surprisingly, nobody else lasted even an hour before slipping up. My aunt, believing that she had won, loudly declared that she had won the baby shower.

She took her necklace off, and at that moment my dad looked at me and realized I was still in. Everyone else, including my mom, totally forgot that I was in and realized that I pretty much hadn't said anything since the game started.

I won the prize, and the new challenge became to make me say the word. So, I decided to humor them. I started talking a lot more, but whenever they tried to bait me into saying the word, I would use a different word. I started off saying "child" and "newborn," before getting a bit creative with things like "The upcoming female homosapien" and "The only instance where 1+1=3", among other things.

I exasperated my whole family with this and they just gave up.

[armandsdivorcelawyer]

As a high value homosapien female (wide hips, fat ass), I require all potential mates to match me in value.

How are you gonna try to father my next child who may not live to see the spring when you cannot keep up with the other males when chasing wooly mammoths 🤨 Pathetic. Never speak to me again.

[jadejedi]

Romance Book Review: Red, White, and Royal Blue (Casey McQuinston)

JJ’s rating: 5/5

How feral did it make me: 4/5

My book reviews

I have been seeing a lot of negativity around this book and the movie for a while now, and that has made me want to review this book. I will say it’s been a couple of years since I’ve read it last, but I have read it multiple times. The first time I read it I literally could not put it down; I had the audiobook and the ebook so I could read wherever I was lol. 

I genuinely love this book. I think it is a great romance novel and I LOVE Alex and Henry so so much. I think a lot of the negativity is coming from a couple of places. First of all: the politics. Yes, you heard it here folks: the gay rom-com known as Red, White, and Royal Blue is not the next “Communist Manifesto”. Shocking, I know. But McQuinston was clearly not trying to write something politically revolutionary?? So, I don’t understand why that is being held against this book. From my understanding, they wrote this book after the 2016 election as a way of coping, essentially. To me, it is not at all different from something like Parks and Recreation, which is easily as much of a liberal utopia as RWRB. I said this in my review of Victoria Goddard’s The Hands of the Emperor, and I’ll say it here: not every work of fiction needs to have a radical political statement. Even if it features politics. It’s okay to have a book that is just about two young men falling in love against this dramatic political backdrop. Is it a bit cringe? Maybe?? But who cares!!! What isn’t cringe these days?? God. Also, it’s not like this book paints a super pretty picture of the monarchy in particular.

Sure, it's escapism, but so what?? What's wrong with a bit of escapism?

I think the other place some of the negativity is coming from is from the crowd who kind of wants to police what is and isn’t “good queer representation”. If a work isn’t “good enough” (i.e. doesn’t resonate with them personally) they will decry it as “bad representation”. I saw this happen with Simon vs. the Homosapien’s Agenda and the movie, Love, Simon. Like those works, I have occasionally seen RWRB condemned as sort of gay fiction for straight people. As if there is only one way to be queer. As if there is only one queer story. I acknowledge our need for a wide range of experiences portrayed in the media, but to say that we as a society no longer have a need for coming out stories is a bold fucking claim to be perfectly honest. RWRB was one of the first queer romance books I read, and it really meant a lot to me at the time, and continues to do so. I think that there is value in portraying both Alex’s journey of self-discovery and Henry’s journey of realizing that he doesn’t have to be unhappy in his life, that he deserves to be able to openly love who he loves. 

So, with all of that out of the way, here’s the summary. Alex Claremont-Diaz is the son of the first female president of the USA and she is about to be up for reelection. Alex is widely beloved, he’s got a bright future in politics ahead of him, and everything seems to be going his way. Except he keeps getting put in the path of his nemesis, the younger Prince of England, Prince Henry. Henry, who is so cold and uppity and standoffish and Alex is definitely not attracted to him. Nope. Not a bit. 

This book has everything you want in a romance book. Lovable characters, leads with genuine chemistry, lots of heart and emotion, a good dose of humor, and LOVE LETTERS. And HISTORICAL LOVE LETTERS. God. Even though, as I said above, this book is not a revolutionary political story, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t deal with deep and interesting topics. It deals with multicultural relationships, what it means to have a legacy and how much we get to dictate what that legacy is, and some of the realities of being a queer person in the public eye. 

I love this book, and I think if you are a romance reader or just love a good queer romance with a genuinely happy ending, this is the book for you.

[anppppppp]

Anonymous emailing

So I have just finished reading 'Simon vs the homosapien agenda' and I'm in love with the concept of the whole anonymous emailing thing and getting to know someone from the inside out (for those who have read it- I'm NOT gay i just like the book). And I really really really want to try it so I'm dropping my fake gmail id here and looking forward to finding a person with whom I can share my day, interests and thoughts with, without the whole identity fuss. All I ask is for you to not break the anonymity pact, be a good conversationist and please for the sake of god not a creep in any way. And strictly a 16 or 17 year old.All you need to know for now is that i belong to the female population. id: fakingitall26@gmail.com

[vedajuno]

got tagged by @sludgenaut to post albums that compose the shambling monolith of me so make sure you vote for my favorite :)

[playbackspeed]

im a raging bisexual female homosapien

[garfieldathogwarts]

“John, you salacious minx, you can’t use your magic yet! You’re an unskilled lowly wizard…Snape will punish meow… I can tell you want to dig your human claws into that female homosapien sports player, but she does not seem to return the favor.” *paws at John and cannot reach him* “get me fertile lasagna $@&7$&”

[adropofhumanity]

Why Islamic community, Quran, Hadeeth always describe women as weak? I mean men nowadays will scream and jumps when there's cockroaches, bugs, whines if there's no food on table, complaints due sweats and heat or a bit hungry, using ayahs and hadeeth wrongly to boost their ego and forceful autonomy, and guilt tripping their wife so they can get second and more wives to make cheating acceptable etc. I wonder does it means even when men have weak imaan like that + easily got swayed by demon temptations, it means women are weaker? I see so much strong imaan, physical, economy and won't cheat on their spouse.

As a women, it feels like we are on lower class. This is actually the main reason I was a disbeliever.

alright my sister, before i answer i will advise you to understand that you will have to bear my answer with open mindedness. May Allāh reward you for your question and for your earnestness in understanding your religion.

islam never described women as "weak". the community, if it does, is at fault then.

"O humanity! Indeed, We created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may ˹get to˺ know one another. Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you. Allah is truly All-Knowing, All-Aware" ( 49:13 )

men and women are both human beings first and foremost. to Allāh, gender does not matter as much as it matters to man. to Him, only the "most righteous" matter.

God created man and woman just like He created, let's say for the sake of providing an example, fruits and vegetables. they are same but different. same in the way that homosapiens are, different in the manner that each has varied properties and benefits, like a man and a woman. just because one was created as a fruit does not make it any superior than its vegetable counterpart and vice versa.

what we do not realise, due to being blinded by corrupt ethics in our society, is that both genders are HONOURED by Allāh. if Allāh truly favoured a man over a woman, would He have chosen to honour both the genders? He would have clearly mentioned that men are the "preferred" ones and women are perhaps, for the sake of argument, "untouchables" to Him, which He did not.

men have specific characteristics. women too do. Allāh says in The Qur'ān, "— the male is not like the female—" ( 03:36 )

men are known for their physical strength. women are known for their emotional strength as well as their gentleness and their soft nature. just because our natures are soft does not imply that we are "weak".

women go through menstrual cycles, pregnancy, delivery, motherhood and breastfeeding. alongside, she takes care of her duties as a wife while healing from the changes in her body. we are stronger here than men. if Allāh would have found man to be stronger, He would have assigned him the responsibility of motherhood. did He? no. because a man is weak in this field. just like a woman is weak in the aspect of physical strength.

so our question then; do they both have strengths? yes. do they both have weaknesses? yes. can we then say that a man is more "stronger" than a woman? no, of course not, he has plenty of weaknesses too. why do i say this?

because Allāh mentioned clearly in His book, "— man was created weak." ( 04:26 ) which indicates that ALL PEOPLE WERE CREATED WEAK.

The Qur'ān and Ahadeeth have never described women as "weak". infact, on the contrary, they have described women to be strong and more than capable. i shall share with you links for the same so that you may know and realise how wonderfully powerful a woman can be and how we have stories in The Qur'ān and in the ahadeeth that prove that to us.

what we are facing today, by the way, has nothing to do with the fact that women are physically weak. it has to do with our ethics. our ethical and moral standards have grown weak. read this well. our ethical and moral standards have become weak. that is why perhaps some men have become cheap like that. islam gave women rights in an age when people used to bury their girl infants alive. islam would have not stopped that if its purpose was to ultimately breed men or side with them only.

i hope my answer has cleared your misconceptions. if not, you are free to bother me anytime.

[ancientcosmicsecrets]

Nagas, the mythical creatures

The Nagas

The Nagas, mythical creatures from Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism, are half-human and half-cobra beings that can be both a threat and a boon to humans. Their name means 'serpent' in Sanskrit, and they reside in Pata-loka or Naga-loka, an underground kingdom adorned with exquisite jewels and stunning palaces. According to legend, Brahma, their creator, sent them underground when they overpopulated the Earth. They only emerge to bite those who are genuinely evil or fated to die prematurely.

The Nagas were a group of people living during the period of the Mahabharata, an epic from India, and were spread across the country. They had a fierce rivalry with the demigod tribes known as Suparnas. The Naga clans in Kerala and Kashmir were believed to be the original and indigenous abode of all Nagas, and cities like Thiruvananthapuram in Kerala and Anantnag in Kashmir stand as testaments to this. In Hinduism, Jainism, and Buddhism, Nagas can take any shape, but they mostly appear as human beings. They are demigods associated with water and treasure. Lord Shiva, the most powerful god in the Hindu pantheon, wears a garland, anklets, and armlets made of snakes.

Snakes also serve to decorate and protect the gods Bhairav and Mahakala. Ananta, the thousand-headed Naga, protects Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction. In Hindu myths, Nagas defend the gods and even serve as their resting place. Nagas also safeguard doors, windows, and temple walls, making their carvings and sculptures a common sight in Hindu temples. Female Nagas, referred to as Nagis or Naginis, belong to serpent royalty and are renowned for their breathtaking beauty. They hail from dynasties, including Manipur in northeastern India, Pallavas in southern India, and Indochina's ancient ruling Funan family. The Hindu canon contains several references to beings from other planets.

For example, the Bhagavata Purana, one of the 18 significant Puranas from a Vaishnava perspective, mentions other beings. The creation of the universe is described in detail in Canto 3, the universe in Canto 5, and battles between demigods and demons on other planets are detailed in Canto 8. The Mahabharata also extensively mentions beings on different planets. The Panchang, an ancient Indian calendar, has evolved in Indian astronomy over the past 5000 years. It predicts the exact time of lunar and solar eclipses and the dates and times of all our festivals from time immemorial. It continues to be widely followed in India. The star positions for all significant events in the Mahabharata and Ramayana, two major Indian epics, are also given.

Modern astronomers have dated these positions and found them to be internally consistent. Surprisingly, our ancient story of Dasavatharam, which mentions the ten avatars of Vishnu, also describes the evolution of life from fish to amphibians, animals, half-animal/half-human creatures, short, intelligent humanoids, forest-dwelling axe-men, ideal homo sapiens, wise politicians, and finally, Buddha. Darwin's theory mirrors this up until the homosapien. The tenth avatar, Kalki, is believed to be the technically adept human of tomorrow. Finally, a 16th-century hymn called the Hanuman Chalisa describes the distance to the Sun. It states that one yuga, an epoch, equals 4.32 million years. The Hanuman Chalisa claims that the Sun is at a distance of 100 crore yojanas from the Earth, with one yojana equating to about eight miles, which translates to 800 million miles.

Ancient references mention that the Earth and other planets orbit the Sun and that the size of our solar system is close to the same as it is now. Various texts also discuss the nature of time, reality, and consciousness. Modern science is validating these ideas one by one.