#no energy to exist ??? no problem ! *sleeps to escape*

[hegrowth]

just me, desperately shaking things hoping they will spark joy. but nothing sparks joy :,D depression sucks yall. everything is a struggle :c and idk what to do about it anymore.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPxDC prompt. Fae!Danny x Jason. Dead on main. Death of a Fairy Tale. or

"Oh no! This tricky hooman stole my heart! What should I do?" *becomes a leader of his court and, just in case, overthrows the tyrant Pariah Dark in order to allow marriages with representatives of other races and live happily ever after with Jay*.

~~~~~

 “You're not allowed to be here. This is not your territory.”

Jason barely had time to catch his breath after escaping from the hot dog vendor when someone noticed him hiding in the bushes.

There were no rides for children or food vans in this park, so Todd didn't understand why anyone would cling to this territory but the guy looked at him with obvious concern. And well, after the morning's adventures, Jay didn't have any energy for another conflict at all. This kid looked pale and thin, so it didn't look like fighting with him would get him anything.

“Calm down, I'm just passing by. What's your problem, dude?”

“I live somewhere ne...here.”

Jason rolled his eyes. It's clear that the guy lived nearby, but it's unlikely that he had a house. The lack of a T-shirt and shoes hinted that in front of him was also a street rat who most likely had not yet learned how to defend his belongings. Poor guy. But this is definitely not Jason's business.

However, did he really spend the night outside in the open air? Sleeping on the bench was a last choice even for Jason. This might be acceptable options in some quiet provincial town, not in Gotham.

“I mean, what are you doing outside?”

Young Phantom checks his glamour, but finds no flaws in it. This man in front of him must be very knowledgeable and experienced, despite his young age, since he immediately recognized him as not a human being. For Danny, who lived with other fairies in Fairyland all his childhood and came to this dimension for the first time, the outside always meant the world of human. Fae shocked and upset that he was discovered so quickly. Haven't people almost forgotten about their existence? The elders would swear a lot if they found out that he had failed. The boy carefully orders the vine and clover to cover the circle of mushrooms, hiding the front door from the human. He was the only one of the entire brood entrusted by Undergrowth to start a practice in a city where there are almost no plants and sunlight, and faeling did not want to let down the mentor who took him under his wing at all.

The old Fairies claim that people are mean and narrow-minded, but Danny himself is intrigued by these creatures and therefore hopes that he will be able to come to an agreement with the boy and to continue his research without obstacles. Danny intends to take the exam for the right to be called an adult fae this decade, which means he has no right to make mistakes. But still, forcing a guy to dance until he drops dead from exhaustion or make him wander along the paths of this small green area without being able to find a way out, as he was taught to get rid of pests at home, seemed too cruel. This boy, just like him, is still a cub and he is here by accident, not to encroach on their possessions. They need not quarrel.

“Don't banish me. I'm just trying to learn.”

“To do what?”

“To steal.” Danny blushes, realizing that such honesty was unnecessary. Stupid, stupid...People know that faeries can take their names, thereby gaining power over them. Now this cub will definitely decide that he has come to cause harm and he will not be able to learn anything useful and interesting. Phantom quickly makes excuses. “Nothing important! I only borrowed trinkets and fruits.”

“You're new to this, aren't you?”

“Is it that noticeable?”

“Pretty noticeable, yes.”

The boy looked at him almost pityingly. And the Phantom didn't like it.

That's how the spirits and other fairies used to look at him when they found out he was only halfa. Because of this fact, his abilities were belittled and not taken seriously too often. What's wrong with that? He's dead just like everyone else, even if not completely.

And now he's screwed up, not even because of his nature, but because of his sluggishness. It was especially unpleasant, as it was deserved. He should have spent his time more productively, but the flowers bred with the help of humans were so interesting and talked about their longing for the sun with such sadness that fae did not dare to interrupt them.

Jason finished both of the stolen hot dogs and leaved the park. The guy still follow him and stares intently, almost without blinking.

“Stop it. What do you want?”

“I study. You seem experienced. “

“People don't really like being stared at like this, in case you didn't know. Back off.”

“Really?”

Jason was ready to be outraged that the kid thought he was an idiot but the tramp from the park looked really puzzled. It seems that if he ever had parents, they didn't care about the boy, since they didn't explain to him that atypical behavior could add him problems. The boy is lucky that Jay is an asshole only when absolutely necessary.

“You're weird. Try to keep your mouth shut near others.”

“Okay.”

Jason took a few minutes to think and sighed. Todd could not leave this strange child alone, because damn conscience would not allow it. He can't survive alone. He will either wander after some other person and become a victim of trafficking or he will be at the beck and call of some assholes in the late afternoon. Jason cursed his bleeding heart once more and promised himself that he would keep the boy by his side no longer than necessary. Jay couldn't afford to be responsible for another mouth to feed. Summer has already come to an end and it was worth starting to save a little money and store things in case of early cold weather.

“If I teach you some of my skills will you promise to stay away from the places where I…work?”

“Maybe. Is this a deal?”

“Yes, if you'll agree, idiot. “

Danny nods and his new acquaintance continues.

“First of all, we'll get you shoes and some clothes. I don't need you to pick up tetanus and some viral crap.”

Danny smiles a little, trying not to make it too noticeable. Great trick.

He nodded to indicate understanding rather than agreeing, and the boy did not ask for verbal confirmation. It seems that he is not completely hopeless at deceiving people. Phantom couldn't wait to tell Clockwork or Frostbite about his success.

They wound through streets and rooftops for a long time until they reached other man's temporary shelter, and Danny had to admit that the man's decision to borrow more clothes was very clever. Strange sharp things and narrow bags of biological fluid were found between the houses disgustingly often. The elders are right about something? Danny must admit. Some people are nasty. They didn't even clean the settlement they live in properly.

A foul-smelling device for carrying things flew into the face of fae while he thoughtfully followed the boy telling him something about removing so-called tires from the iron inanimate horses.

“Dude, stop fighting with a trash bag. You'll stand guard while I give the customer the goods, okay?”

“Fine.” To be honest, the intern was ready to cry from the injustice of life and rush home, and he was only stopped by the desire to visit the observatory, which his new acquaintance mentioned when fae complained that because of the smoke and smog the stars would probably not be visible at night.

Danny realized that he did not regret his decision when, a couple of minutes later, he heard his human quarreling with adult specimen. Judging by the conversation, the man refused to pay the price for the things brought to him and even threatened to hit Phantom's guide. Danny was annoyed by this and decided to intervene a little. To his good fortune, on the balcony of this vile man there was a pot with withering petunias and they did not mind helping lil fae teach their owner manners. A slight whiff of magic and the pot falls on the deceiver's head and human begins to choke on the roots that climb right into his mouth. Danny giggles, congratulating his green comrades on their successful revenge. Other boy doesn't waste any time and grabs the bucks that fell out of the customer's hands and orders new boy to run.

Danny spent several days with human cub and really learned a lot about these creatures. Despite the fact that such a pastime was exciting, he needed to at least create the illusion of practice the fae skills.

It is dangerous to ask a person who knows who he is about this but teachers will be upset if he does not make an attempt. And despite the fact that the people around him seem scary, Nocturn will be much scarier in anger if he finds out that Phantom is such a loser.

“Ma- Can I have your name?” Danny muttered uncertainly and immediately panicked at his own impudence. “Sorry!”

“Jason.”

Todd was in a good mood, as luck had been with him for the last few days, and the new companion was not at all as useless as it seemed to him from the beginning. He was able to hide so well that no one could detect them, and managed to bring fresh fruits, vegetables and mushrooms to their safe house. However, there were problems with the last one, since this strange dude sometimes brought toadstools and satan's boletes to their apartment, which he managed to get from unknown places. Jason thought he was going to have a heart attack the first time he caught child happily eating raw fly agaric. Indeed, if Jay hadn't found him this boy would probably have died of poisoning in that park by now. Todd had to persuade him to bring only chanterelles, which he could confidently identify as edible and not fear for their lives every time the boy tries to help find food. And his padawan really managed to find them. In Gotham. Holy shit. Maybe this park, so fiercely guarded by the boy, was another secret area for Poison Ivy's experiments? However, poisonous specimens will not be wasted either, since you never know when you will need to defend yourself without entering into a fight, but acting more subtly.

“Real name! Real one!” The boy's eyes were as big as saucers and he became very worried and waved his hands as if trying to shake off invisible sticky threads from his fingertips. “You shouldn't say your actual name! Why did you do that? You shouldn't have given it to me.”

“There are a lot of Jason's around. Why do you care about that?”

“You're not just some Jason, you're my Jason, you're important to me. It's dangerous if someone has your name. Then that someone can make you do bad things.”

Tears began pouring down boy's face and Jason was surprised by such a violent reaction. Todd doesn't think there's anything to worry about, since he didn't tell the stranger his last name. He often introduces himself in different ways. Just, for some reason, something made him be honest this time. But how would this guy know that?

“Well…You're not just anyone. We're friends. I don't think you're going to rat on me to the cops or anything. So it's okay. “ Jay tries to calm the newcomer down.

“Friends?”

“Yes. Friends forever?” Jason teasingly holds out his little finger, offering a childish oath that he recently taught his padawan.

“Forever.” The boy supports the oath, and then, after thinking for a second, leans closer to Todd and whispers. "I'm Danny, just so you know."

“Good. I'll remember.”

The young fae is overcome with euphoria. He took the name! He did it! But that was all the other boy had, apart from a rusty tire iron, so it probably wasn't right or friendly to keep it. The human cub helped him. Danny couldn't keep such a gift. He didn't even really try to get his name. “Jason is your name.”

“That's right, buddy.”

“I won't call you that name.” Where I come from, even spouses rarely know each other's names. Danny wanted to assure his friend that he should not be afraid that he would abuse his power. “ I like you so I will take full responsibility for the possession of such a gift, don't worry.”

“Hah, in order to take responsibility, you already need to at least marry me as a moral compensation, given the number of brain cells killed by your antics. “

“Well, if I have to, then I will. When we're older.”

Jason snorts and shakes his head. It's probably not love, since they're just kids, but still, Jason thinks that if all autumn evenings were like this, he wouldn't mind spending his life with Danny, snuggling closer to the boy while they both bask under the same blanket. No matter how many times a day they managed to roll in the mud and fall into the trash can, the boy always gave off a light scent reminiscent of spring greens, which reminded Todd of something warm and cozy. Maybe a home? Although when his father was not in prison yet, his house smelled more like the stench of cigarette smoke and mold.  So Danny was more like a hope for a good home that they write about in books.

On their free evenings Jason usually entertained them by reading. Danny has always been an attentive listener, reacting vividly. After stroking the battered cover of a new book he found, Jason puts it aside. He's too tired today, and  just wants to listen.

Noticing this, Danny begins to chirp about his homeland. His stories are like fairy tales, too bright and colorful for the stone Jungle. Jay realized a long time ago that his friend had something like a defense mechanism. Todd himself snapped and fought when the world was too cruel, this guy escaped to his fictional world, where he was safer and happier. His friend could have been a great writer someday. The descriptions of Princess Dorathea and her cruel brother, pharaoh with an unusual passion for technology and ultra-recyclo vegetarian queen of plants were so detailed and vivid that they seemed true. Danny's imagination contained the whole world.

When the first snowflakes fall to the ground, Danny says that this means that his friend Frostbite will soon come to pick him up. Jason is honestly not ready for such a turn of events. He promised himself that he would not be around another boy for longer than necessary, but he managed to get attached. He hopes that this statement is just another one of his companion's fantasies and forgets about it for a while.

A snowstorm is raging in the city when Danny does not return home. The snowfall does not stop for several days, and Todd realizes that his friend left him, although all his belongings are left in their apartment. He hopes that someone really came for the boy, and not that in the spring his body will be found in one of the melting snowdrifts.  After a few months, when the canned homemade vegetables carefully cooked by Danny are coming to an end, and the mold, sitting alone  in a corner of the ceiling all winter, felt the first the warm rays of the sun, Todd decides not to waste energy on useless worries and hopes.

Soon, as Danny would put it, Batman steals Jason. Todd doesn't really trust the old man at first, but he teaches him to be Robin, and, well, Robin is cool. He's magic. Robin is an urban legend, a spirit worthy of being the hero of Danny's favorite stories. Robin is Jason's connection not only to the city itself, but also to his past. Robin does not need to think about whether he should grieve not only for his mother but also for his friend. Robin is more. There is not only strength and hope in this uniform, but also memories, nostalgia and  humanness. Therefore, Todd is not ready to give up the suit, even if he understands Grayson's displeasure. Because when he goes out on a patrol, the longing becomes less, and he feels that he is getting better and closer to something important. It helps.

No.

It helped.

And then he died.

And things are getting worse by the day, hah.

~~~A few hits with a crowbar later~~~

Jason learns about a new attempt of eco-terrorism relatively late, when he is officially called to help. Even so he stays at the place of the fight before the rest of the family. Firstly, because this time Ivy decided to start destruction from the closest to Crime Alley park, and secondly because Ivy's creations always pay little attention to him. Even the famous pollen has almost no effect on Hood.

Making his way through the furiously writhing vines, Red Hood notices the enemy and realizes that it is not Ivy, but decides that he will analyze the situation during the battle and rushes forward.

“Hey! Don't touch B, you.. “Almost flying into a guy with such a familiar face, the Hood slows down sharply “... pointy-eared.”

A guy with sparkling green energy in his hand and a vigilante with a pistols in each hand freeze looking at each other.

“Man, is it you?”

Snow-white hair, glowing green eyes, transparent dragonfly-like wings and razor-sharp claws are completely unfamiliar to Todd, but facial features, expressions and a bracelet with star pendants that Jay gave Danny for his birthday, adorning one of the impressive polished horns, allow to recognize him.

“Jay! It's been a long time, my friend.” Hearing Todd's voice, despite the sound changed by the helmet, the creature calms down. “You've grown up a lot.”

“And you're still so short. Wow. And, by the way, I can't believe you're still keep it.” Red puts the safety of the guns and then points one of them at the jewellery. “It's from a dollar store, nothing special.”

John says goodbye to the hope of a day off after the mission, cursing the manners of the bat and his offspring. Is a couple of days without the risk of interdimensional conflict really that too much to ask for?

“You gave it to me. That's why it's special.”

The creature smiles and Todd feels his face blushing. It's a good thing he's still wearing his helmet. Danny looks too…magical…in every sense.

“Do you know him, Hood?” Of course, Bat cannot stay out of the conversation when nothing is holds him back.

“No.”

“Yes.”  Danny denies the statement of Hood, proudly puffs out his chest and declares. “He was my first. He calls himself Hood these days? How strange.”

Bat gasps and exhales indignantly.

Jason quickly connects the fact that his friend is definitely not human with the possibility that Danny's stories were true.

“Name!” Trying to fix the chaos that his friend is trying to involve them in, Red Hood hurries to explain. “He's talking about damn name. I'm the first one who gave...”

“Oh, come on, spoilsport. He almost believed me.” The fairy winks playfully and Jason has to do his best to focus on the mission and not on the guy. “You're my betrothed anyway. And, hey, I collected the library as a wedding gift.”

“Hm.” Hood rolls his eyes. This joke about their childhood promise would have been hilarious if he hadn't felt the old man's rising pressure behind his back. So, returning to the problem, he still needs to get these two away from each other as soon as possible. Neither Danny nor Bruce has a calm personality, and Jason didn't want to start Danny's acquaintance with Alfred by giving first aid to these dummies. “So what's all the fuss about? Are you like um.. Ivy's pet-pixie or what?”

Now John Constantine, who carefully watched the meeting from the sidelines, almost feels his blood pressure rising too. Compare faeries with garden pests. What was Batman's son thinking about, showing such disrespect? He wanted them to have more problems or what?

“Hm? Who is Ivy? I've never heard of her. To be honest, I'm only here because our gate was disturbed.” The fairy chirped angrily and, with a nervous flutter of his wings, flew up to the bushes. His finger pointed accusingly at the crushed mushrooms that John and Batsy had landed on when they unsuccessfully attacked Dr. Isley. “But even though your companions' behavior is inexcusable, I don't blame you, of course. I am glad that we met again because of this incident, Tagetes.”

The Faerie circle...John hadn't seen this in years. Damn Gotham. He difenetly doesn't want the problems of this crazy city to fall under his and Shazam's responsibility. Now it is clear why Rogue disappeared so quickly. She probably knew about it and wanted to make them someone else's problem. Damn it twice, John should have sent a message instead of coming to Gotham to discuss business with Wayne. Being uninvited guests of such mischievous and malicious hosts does not bode well.

“You are lucky that the Fright Knight is not on duty today. But someone will have to answer for it. Is it really so hard to look at your feet? Or is this a deliberate provocation? I demand an apology.”

“No, enough games for you. They're a little busy chasing someone, in case you didn't notice.” Jason starts pulling on his friend's hand, intending to take him out of the park. Next to these paranoids, it's better not to ask an old friend about anything. “Only good little fairies are invited to my safe house to taste my signature lasagna today, so stop trying to give my old man a heart attack, okay?”

“Wait. Is this Willis?” The fairy's eyes narrow and he looks at the cloaked dark figure with disapproval.

"No, another jerk. B has a problem with adoptions and that's the reason I'm now part of his brood." Jason reluctantly explains. "He literally dragged me off the streets without consent after I tried to take the tires off his car."

“Oh my Ancients, he did what?! But you're mine! He had no right to steal you.” Danny indignantly rustled the leaves of the closest trees.

“I prefer to be considered as my own man, thank you very much.”

“Riiight…but still, speaking absolutely one hundred percent theoretically, who would you rather stay with, darling? If only you were mine~”

“Ja-..Don't let yourself be fooled, Red Hood. You can't trust him. Ten or even fifty years spent on a prank don't mean anything to this creature.” Bruce doesn't look happy with how at ease Todd is with the threat, but frankly, he rarely looks happy at all, so the crime lord doesn't attach too much importance to it.

"Wow. Rude. This is partially true, but it still hurts. Jason is a friend. I won't do anything to him and I don't demand anything from him. I can't say that about the rest of you. I was preparing for a long-awaited vacation, and because of your fuss I have a new bunch of paperwork to do. What can you say in your defense?"

The boy with the snow-white hair didn't look really upset, but just because there was still a smile on his face, it couldn't be said that he wasn't furious. Next to fairies, all human senses became enemies, not allies.

Despite the deceptive good-naturedness of merrily fluttering his wings guy, John was on high alert. Short-tempered, playful and obnoxious temperament were both a blessing and a curse when working with these creatures. Fairies skillfully searched for loopholes in contracts and in general were the best deceivers among those who could only tell the truth. Faeries prefer to bend victims to their will with words, but they are skilled users of the magic of nature and chaos. They also, despite the business acumen as strong as the alligator's mouth closing strength, were willing to play cat-and-mouse with those who dared to turn to him for help or just walk near their possessions. And this specimen was also clearly not one of the fairies that Morningstar had taken over control, since his energy reeked of Infinite Realms. Unknown territory. John urgently needs to come up with some ingenious plan to get everyone out of this fighting safe and relatively unscathed and…

“Fuck off, B. I told you he already has my name. If he wanted to hurt me, he would have done it at any time. You should show more respect for your future son-in-law, you know.”

“Jason, honey, since when do street rats hang out with bats?” Danny obviously didn't have much sympathy for the Gotham vigilante before, but because of his story, their chances of getting along tended to zero.

“Oh, come on, don't even start this conversation. What is more important…Who would I rather stay with? Hm…Let's say, um, theoretically, of course…If your fiance was killed by one very very bad cruel clown, what would you do, Stardust?

"I would tear clown molecule by molecule."

“Yes, yes! Right!” Jason pats Danny on the shoulder and turns to Batman. “See, that's how you should have reacted.”

Constantine: …What an Addams family. I'm leaving. I've already seen enough. If you get kidnapped, don't call me. Damn freaks.

Come with me now to see my world

Where there's beauty beyond your dreams

Strangers Like Me - Phil Collins

[urmonsterhighmommy666]

Lilith in 1st house things:

🐈‍⬛ u felt ashamed of ur appearance from early age, u have problem accepting urself

🐈‍⬛ attract a lot of attention, u might go out in baggy pants and no makeup, and yet people will notice u and stare and u don't understand it

🐈‍⬛ s3xualized very soon, people blaming u for things u didn't even do, u might be the first in class who stepped into puberty and other kids might made fun of u

🐈‍⬛ feeling left out, feeling like you are from another planet, like u dont belong, like no one can understand you and your thinking

🐈‍⬛ often lost in daydreaming as escaping from this world, avoiding people

🐈‍⬛ dark, mysterious, even demonic aura (people pick up on it, it gets them intrigued), a lot of people w this placement get sl*tshamed for literally existing, especially attract a lot of envious women that sense ur se*ual energy and it makes them angry

🐈‍⬛ problems with men - father issues or attracting aggresive, pushy partners, fighting with authority, never feeling like u are heard or respected

🐈‍⬛ need to be loved and finally accepted for who u are

🐈‍⬛ sadly, most people only notice ur appearance and use u, be aware - trust ur gut

🐈‍⬛ might feel like u have to sleep w someone so they stay, or be hyper sexual - this is such a painful placement, just be careful and trust me, this is only gonna cause more trauma, u might feel need to always satisfy others first too, its all connected

🐈‍⬛ if u ever feel heartbroken or angry, call on to Mother Lilith - shes always w u, u are forever connected to her because of ur Lilith placement 🌹 especially when it comes to struggles with men. she will understand like no one else

[nekovmancer]

Hello, I was wondering if you could make zenyatta and ramattra with Cyborg!Reader like genji, but their body glows if they have too much energy.

overwatch headcanons: cyborg!reader with Ramattra and Zenyatta

warnings: mentions of violence, trauma and such, a bit platonic and… ye, pretty much fine, nothing graphic

a/n: my love for Zen is 100% dear and platonic yet- well, you guys know. RAMATTRA!!! 

will do them separately in the present game timeline and then together back in the monastery and… it’s past midnight here, my eyelids are heavy, but there’s no sleep in between me and writing fanfiction so, sowy for the mistakes ahead, I will correct them tomorrow!! anxiety kept me awake and obligated me to post as soon as I’ve finished, you know

btw!! thanks for requesting. I love to write it and I hope you also enjoy. (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

OPEN FOR HEADCANON REQUESTS! Send yours here, but read rules first

Ramattra

A Ravager was responsible for your body’s destruction, so it’s only natural you’re shaking on its presence

Back when it happened, omnics were still under Anubis’ control, so it’s not like you blame him or any other R-7000 for their doings

Still, you got these chills running down your spine now that you stand face to face to Null Sector’s infamous leader

But the thrill is even stronger when he proves all your believes to be wrong, being to one to extend a helping hand to prevent your body to overheat

As Genji, your parts were substituted with cybernetics: flesh, muscle and metal bounding into one thing to keep your alive

Though, you weren’t lucky to be shaped by doctor Ziegler’s careful hands, which lead to several problems, including the overheating itself, caused by your frenetic running while trying to escape Toronto during the Invasion

Ramattra saw you and couldn’t help but be… fascinated 

You were not an omnic, so his helmets were useless, still you’re shaped in metal, no sight of skin showing. A human, without humanity’s resemblance 

He caught your heartbeats, their rhythm more and more violent, growing exponentially as the glow from your cybernetics, a flashing red of warning

He’s so intrigued he founds himself kneeling in front of you, one hand reaching out while you press your back to the wall behind you; no way to run out of this

“Hush now. If I was to hurt you, why the ceremony?” 

His words had logic, true, but fear was devouring you

The last time you were this close to a Ravager was the last time you still had much of your organic body parts

“I may be of help, if you let me” 

What choice did you have anyway? If he didn’t kill you, your body would do the job alone 

 Ramattra escorts you to safety, and ironically it means the very ships vomiting killing robots a while ago

You stay in his workshop as it takes little time for him to figure out how to cool down your body, and the glow is long gone by the time he’s done

“Not an omnic, yet not fully human…  where do you find a place for one as yourself in this doomed world?”

Here’s the thing: you don’t

That’s why you accept his offer to stay, despite all of your fears

In the end, the hands who once destroyed you were the same who saved you from death

Zenyatta

Omnics and humans coexisting peacefully was a metaphor to your own state: both human and machine sharing the same body, trying to not repel one another

A heart of flesh habitating a chest of metal, you tiptoed the lines between the two worlds, but you didn’t felt as part of any of them

Still, you find solace in the words of a monk by the name of Mondatta. He spoke of hope and understandment, of peace above the conflict. Without even knowing, he brought balance to your turmoil; past and present

But hope was a dangerous thing for the ones like you, if there was anyone else sharing the burden of a dreadful existence as yours

And you’re quick out of reasons since Mondatta’s death

You weren’t welcome among the omnics, and humans saw you as a freak. Any chance of normality was eradicated 

As a last act of faith, you did Aurora’s peregrination to Shambali. You didn’t know what to expect, but surely the villagers near the monastery left a very bad impression

Along with the exhaustion, you entered the sacred halls with your cybernetics glowing red, a flash of the eminent chaos that would erupt if you’re not stabilized quickly enough

A monk comes to your aid, and by staring at his faceplate alone you can feel something different stirring within you. A long lost calmness tossing your circuits errors aside

You wouldn’t forget his name not even in a million lifetimes: Zenyatta, the one who offered you a place to rest after your journey, and the very first to be interest in you

His genuine interest, plus the care, was touching. No one ever did anything similar to you, not after Talon decided you could still be a soldier even without most of your body

Which led to you running away, not soon enough to prevent Doctor O'Deorain  from damaging your body though. Another monster carefully constructed to be Talon’s pawn, no matter how much pain came from it

But you’ve already paid the price for your mistakes, and one thing is for sure: you’re no monster

Among the monks, you could feel that familiar peaceful feeling lingering under your skin, resonating through the circuits of your cybernetics

For once, you did not felt cast aside, most thankful to Tekhartha Zenyatta

His harmony orbs helped to regain a balance you thought to be long lost, and not only: the chaos within you, something you tried to ignore, was embraced as it should be also cherished 

“No living being is completely pure, nor completely evil. We’re both our strengths and flaws: to deny one existence in detriment of other is to deny yourself.”

Even the worst of you was forgiven; by him first, and you last. Where you felt shame for your wrongdoings, Zenyatta pathed a lesson that erased your doubts

Through meditation, you found not only peace with your inner self, but with the world surrounding you

The balance of energy through your body presented you with a new glowing: not the crimson red of tiredness and rage, but a warm yellow that irradiates warm as a small sun; the energy of the Iris found you

“My dear friend, I bathe in the light of your soul. May it keep us sheltered during the dark times ahead of us.”

Ramattra & Zenyatta

When the brothers found you, they first thought you were an omnic

Judging by the people screaming around you, tossing stones, displaying the worst of their violence and, of course, the fact your whole constitution was pure metal

It’s only when they take you to the monastery that they knowledge the other side of your face, the one that’s still flesh 

No questions were asked, but none of them are naive. Being a cyborg meant something, and this something tiptoed around the lines of violence

And despite it all, cyborgs are quite rare. Especially ones glowing as you did, with your joints pulsating with energy

It was easy to distinguish your humor by the light radiating from your body: usually soft, it could be oversaturated when your humor reached peaks, transiting through a rainbow of colors depending on what you had in your mind

At first, a light tone of red flashed whenever they approached. Despite being your saviors, you still felt a bit of distrustfulness towards them

Humans saw you as an aberration, and you did not have too much time with sentient omnics to put their behavior to test. Not that you felt inclined to do so. To deal with humanity’s rejection was enough

Zenyatta was patient, but Ramattra… no metal in this world could undo the fact you were a human. And he also had his share with humanity to know how incredible terrible they can be 

That’s why, maybe, it’s easy for you to approach him 

Ramattra resented humanity, despite his best efforts to find harmony through his want for peace and his desire for revenge. Not that you had the guts to do anything but lament over your own dismay, but… you could relate

Zenyatta, on the other hand, touched your deepest cravings for being a better person, standing above those who abused you. You did not wished for violence, despite your rage: to be comprehended was your key 

And both of them did it, in their own way

Through your days in Shambali, you felt part of their brotherhood. Not exactly as such, but… cherished. Each of them bonded with you in their own unique way, understanding your pains, your dreams, your wants. Piece by piece, the three of you found a way together

Now, whenever you meditate with Ramattra, concentrating the energy flow in your body, a glowing purple flashed through your cybernetics. But with Zenyatta, a deep golden color showed itself

And that’s why you could never choose. Your love for them was measured equally: if cut in half, one part would still be of Ramattra, and the other would belong to Zenyatta

So when Ramattra leaves from Shambali, and both you and Zenyatta decline his offer to follow his path off the Monastery, there’s no way from you in the opposites side, but through the middle-term

You still dream of the day you three will meet again. For the good or for the bad, you missed them for a lifetime, and to be separated brings up this feeling all over again

Now, whenever you concentrate your energy, it’s grayish: devoid of color, deepness and light

[murasaki-cha]

Cale and the Soos but Gen Z

(ft. Choi Han, Alberu and Rosalyn)

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Cale: when I say I have "main character energy," I mean the nerdy introvert with anxiety and a general distaste for humans - Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Cale* Cale: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10. -

Cale: Babygirl I have health problems that would make a grown man cry- yeah of course I'm still going to work what are you talking about

-

Cale: I love having trauma from an alarmingly young age because when I can't remember stuff from my childhood I get to play a game called "Is This Normal Memory Loss From Growing Up, Or Do I Have Severe Trauma-Induced Memory Repression?" Choi Jung Soo: Oh word Alberu: Preach Choi Han: Fr Eruhaben: Genuinely what in the- Sui Khan: Louder Eruhaben: YOU ARE 13 WHA-

-

Sui Khan: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering. Sui Khan: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.' Cale pointing: You see where I got it from?

-

Rosalyn, eating cake: No wonder Marie Antoinette didn't give a fuck, this shit is good Cale: so true girl

-

Cale: when Billie Eillish said "I cant escape the way I love you" every gen z kid with attachment issues felt that Alberu: So you felt that? Cale: I felt that too much Alberu: Also who is Billie Eillish? Choi Jung Soo slamming the door open: bITC-

-

Cale: bitches b like “I'm baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

-

Rosalyn going to her lesson with Eruhaben: Eruhaben-nim, are we cooking today or what! Eruhaben: Rosalyn, we aren’t… in the kitchen?

-

Cale: With all this tasks I'm getting from the gods sometimes I wish I was Jared 19 so I never read Birth Of A Hero...

-

Alberu: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so... Cale: Mood

-

Heavenly Demon: do you guys know the meaning of patriarchy? Choi Jung Soo: I prefer Spongebob tbh Heavenly Demon: One more word from you Sword Demon and I swear-

-

Cale: Can I go outside to say a word to god? Choi Han: Yea. Rosalyn: You go outside and start yelling ‘hey what the heck are you!- then ZAP! Cale: I've questioned god before and I haven't died yet.

-

Choi Jung Soo: I so wish I had a cat personality but I have such a dog personality like I would do everything for your approval, do you want me to fetch your stick just for a lil treat , hell yeah I would with pleasure! Choi Han: Oh that's what it was!

-

Choi Jung Soo: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? *Sees Sui Khan's cute 13 yo child appearance staring daggers at him* Choi Jung Soo: Imagine the toll.

-

Cale: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

-

Cale: A weight blanket is not enough I need to be compressed into a .zip file

-

Cale with a wine glass in hand: Existence is the enemy The group also with wine glasses in their hands: Cheers to that

-

Cale: Sometimes that sad feeling is due to low blood sugar, and sometimes it's from decades of history. Not that complex

[viric-dreams]

A Study in Viric

Being out of Parabola for so long hasn't been good for Ockham, who's been progressively fading away as the months wear on, leaving Ockham desperate and hungry for some taste of Parabola, something to regain hishertheir strength and not disintegrate to Nothing. A chance meeting with an interesting character (@ticktopsworld) led to Ockham being offered an entire box of honeyed cosmogone.

What happens when you give an excess amount of cosmogone to a creature made of viric? It tries to convert it as quickly as possible into something usable. Ockham's body goes into overdrive trying to process that much cosmogone. It has unfortunate effects.

Anyone within an immediate radius of Ockham is sent to sleep. Plants grow explosively, soon taking over Ockham and Tamara's home. Warden (@oneirotecture) visits, unaware of the situation and bringing a pineapple grown in Parabola, only to be knocked unconscious by the viric haze.

Overjoyed by the newfound energy and life, Ockham visits Arnaud (@eddie-dearest), determined to celebrate hishertheir miraculous recovery in the way the two of them do best. Ockham's viric radiation only grows more and more powerful as time passes, eventually sending an Arnaud--begging Ockham to stay--into a dream-filled sleep.

It's getting harder and harder for Ockham to focus, each sight, each sound, each new sensation drawing hishertheir attention at the expense of anything else. Friends and strangers alike are sent into slumber by hishertheir presence alone, even when, in moment of lucidity, Ockham begs them to stay awake. Warden, the victim of yet another one of these encounters, decides to get revenge, entrancing Ockham with a cosmogone ink tattoo and leading the parabolan on an extended chase through the Pavilion of Butterflies.

Ockham's most recent employer, Shaw (@zeebreezin) has also not been spared from sleepy Ockham sightings as the holiday progresses. Surmising that the issue was an excess of viric, he attempts to remedy the situation by exposing Ockham to an irrigo-irradiated artifact. This backfires spectacularly, when the exposure to irrigo--not targeting the excess of cosmogone causing the problem, but the viric leaking from Ockham's body at the rate hishertheir body's trying to convert it--cancels out all of the ambient viric, partially dissolving Ockham in the process.

The injured and afraid Parabolan runs out into the streets, viric escaping hishertheir body like sand from a broken hourglass. The trip has decidedly turned Bad, and unable to parse what's going on, only that there are people trying to hurt himherthem Ockham runs, without purpose, just to get away, no matter the cost.

If there's anything to be learned, you do not run from a predator. The Scrimbeast (@t6fs) gives chase, mauling Ockham. Ockham's body and the guilded rot attempt to heal the damage, as the Poet's silks hold it in place.

Ockham sits up to say something, blinks, then blinks out of existence. Between the drugs, the adrenaline, and the strain of healing wounds, it proves too much for hishertheir heart, and it gives out.

A creature of Parabola, however does not go to the Slow Boat. And there is one ophidian hivemind who knows precisely where Ockham is, and who'd been waiting for this moment to finish the job.

[beatificallytrash]

HC: how the losers are there for each other

Mike:

• The one they go to for comfort. When they need peace or just need a long warm hug.

• Doesn’t force them to tell him anything, will see they need comfort and just give it.

• Will create a comfort zone for them and not let anyone disturb it. Keeps the losers favorite snacks and movies stocked for this reason.

• A remedy for their overthinking.

• Knows how to read their body language extremely well.

• When they’ve had a bad day or need an escape they’ll go to Mike where he always welcomes them with open arms and a soft smile. 

Stan:

• The one they go to to talk and be listened to.

• Helps work through their issues. Therapist friend.

• Calm in the midst of their chaos.

•Has the ability read and understand their emotions and thought processes to best help them.

• Best to calm down panic attacks or mental breakdowns.

• Helps them cope with life.

• Not the most comforting but most understanding. 

• Passes reality checks out like candy while also gentle parenting (“Okay, let’s break down why that is the absolute dumbest decision you could make.”)

• Will barge in his room and flop onto his bed with a sigh ("Stan, I feel like I want to jump off a cliff rn." "Same, but let's dissect that.")

Bill:

•The one they go to feel safe.

• When they are scared and lost they trust Bill will guide them out of danger and darkness.

• VERY protective over them. Has and will resort to violence for them if necessary.

• But still has a very gentle and calming presence.

• Will either stop them from being reckless or go do it with them.

• “Who did this to you?” energy mixed with golden retriever.

• Keeps window cracked open and phone on full volume when he sleeps in case one of them need a safe place to stay or has a late night emergency. 

• Says "Everything will be alright, I got you" and they will believe him because they trust him completely.

Richie:

• The one they go to when they want to forget something or be cheered up.

• Type of friend that will do anything to make them laugh even at his own expense. 

• Will embarrass himself to save the others from embarrassment or to just get a smile.

• Feeds into their delusions and embraces their weirdness.

• Down for basically anything.

• TMI doesn't exist for him.

• Indulges their most dramatic and first-world problems.

• Can yap with him for hours about the most niche and absurd topics.

• Shows them how to not take life so serious because he is the definition of unserious.

Ben:

• The one they go to for help and fix problems (practical, personal, literally anything).

• Will drop everything to help his friends.

• Very knowledgeable and gives gentle wise advice.

• Helps first asks questions later.

• NEVER judges or embarrasses them. Just unconditional acceptance and love.

• Can truly come to him with ANYTHING. They need help with a resume? Need a study partner/tutor? Taxes? Flat tire ? Having an existential crisis? Hiding a dead body? Ben is there and ready to help with the same earnest no matter how big or small the issue is.

• They’re personal google (He rarely doesn’t know an answer).

Bev:

• The one they go to have fun/distract themselves.

• When they need a partner in crime. Will help them with vengeance.

• Helps them release built up emotions. (“You’re angry? Okay let’s go smash some shit.”“Overwhelmed? Let’s go on a drive to clear your head.”)

• Big sister/cool aunt vibes.

• One they go to when they don’t know what to wear.

• Gives great advice because she's probably made the same mistake before as they have.

• VERY affectionate. Hugs and forehead/cheek kisses are always expected from her.

• Makes them feel brave.

Eddie:

• The one they go to to vent and get out intense feelings.

• Will go through the emotions with them. Cry when they cry. Get mad and rant with them. Get excited when they are.

• Doesn’t try to problem solve just will be there with them through it when they’re most hurt or anxious.

• First to cuss a bitch out for them. 

• Knows how to hype them up and boost their confidence.

• Honest and will tell them harsh truths.

• They’re personal WebMD (“Eddie my heads been hurting all day help me.” “Well, you’re either dehydrated or you have a brain tumor. So, I hope you’ve had plenty water today.”)

• Aggressive mom friend (“I brought you a coat cause you always fucking forget!” “Why tf aren’t you wearing sunscreen!?” “Your stomach hurts? Okay I have tums, ib profen, pemto bismal…”)

• The movie making him a risk analyst makes sense because that’s what he is for them (“Yeah I’m like 95% certain that will definitely kill you.” *To Richie mostly*)

[bella-goths-wife]

What am I without her? (James version)

James x lost boys daughter

Content: how has readers absence affected the blonde rebel whose heart she took with her?

Warnings: guilt, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of murder, yearning, max’s tough love

It had been two months since you left

It had been eight weeks since you left

It had been fifty six days since you left

It had been 1344 hours since you left

Since you escaped

James knew this, he knew this because he incessantly watched his watch tick by and every hour that went by he would add to his mental clock of how long he had been without you.

At first, he denied that you were gone. He was sure that David would catch you before you could even reach Michaels car.

But when he saw the beams of sunlight enter the entrance of the cave behind David’s crouched body, he knew you were gone.

Then came the overwhelming rage that consumed his every thought. He had so much built up anger which he blamed on many things, you for running away, David not catching you, faith for not telling your fathers fast enough, faith for telling your fathers, himself for not holding onto you tighter and himself for holding onto you at all.

This rage caused him to act out at every possible opportunity, he couldn’t work at the video store for weeks because his overwhelming desire to hurt himself or others around him was to strong to resist and every passer-by were just extensions of his anger.

Then came bargaining. He convinced himself that if he somehow cleaned up his act that you’d come back. He stopped smoking, he combed back his hair, he wore less of his leather clothes and dressed more like micheal did. For days on end he acted like he was better, like he was the best possible option for you in the hopes that you’d come back and fall into his arms again.

When this didn’t work, he pleaded with max to make him use his vampiric powers to put James in your dreams like he had done before. He just wanted to see you again, just to know you were safe and that there was no one around you that could love harm you. Max put his foot down and refused, he was already mourning the absence of the only person in his family that he loved and he didn’t have the mental energy to entertain James’s plans to only mentally torture you further.

After that plan failed, James fell into a depression. He wouldn’t leave your bedroom in maxs house, he barely even left your old bed as he pressed your shirts to his nose to make it so he could memorise your already fading scent.

It reminded him of you still, he finally understood the feelings you felt when you would go into one of your depressive episodes and he would lay next to you in the hopes that his mere existence would make you happy again. But now he understands, he understands the pain that you felt and he understands the overwhelming feelings that you admitted to him and the thoughts of just ending it all by simply taking some pills and going for a long sleep.

His thoughts were split into a raging war inside his own mind. Parts of him tried to reassure himself that trying to keep you home was the right thing to do and that he just wanted to make sure you could be safe in his eyesight, but he knows that’s a lie.

He knows he tried to keep you for his selfish wishes, the same way that a pet owner will trap exotic birds in golden cages and use the excuse of luxury as an exception for the cruelty of the confinement. And you were his sweet song bird.

Max knew of James’s selfish actions on that day, and while understood the extent of James’s love, it was unacceptable in max’s eyes.

Their once close relationship had grown rough and tense as the days passed. Until it came to a head on day.

James had stood in front of max with a new sense of purpose as he asked for a simple answer to his problems

“Turn me into a vampire” he had asked with desperation in his tone “turn me into a vampire, and I can find her and bring her home”

Max refused, his head practically burst as the rage he had felt build up since your absence found its release.

He saw James request as entirely selfish and ignorant to the cost. Max knew at that moment that he was talking with a naive child, and not the man he had kept under his roof for half a year now.

He threw James out with a simple look of shame and disappointment at another failed attempt to create the perfect family. James pleaded for a second chance but he was only rewarded with a pointed answer.

“Your love has grown poisonous, it infects and destroys everything you care about and I won’t let my granddaughter be another thing you kill in the process of finding your selfish happiness” max had said firmly “she is worth more than to be a kept pet, that girl could have the world at her feet if she so much as thought about making it her goal and I will not allow her potential to be wasted on an obsessive love that can only lead in her being kept like a toy who you choose to play with”

James saw max as a father figure in his life, he would never admit it but he does. But even that admiration didn’t stop James from envisioning himself staking max in the heart and enjoying watching the life fade from his eyes.

James resisted the urges to hurt the once significant mentor as he turned away and decided on a new plan.

This plan felt more like insanity with James every movement down to the cave, but he’d never felt more desperate for a solution to his yearning.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He heard David’s voice call out in a mixture of anger and confusion before he felt his back slam against the cave walls and he felt David’s hands grip the front of his jacket “you have a lot of fucking nerve”

James gazed at David’s face and almost flinched in shock at the state of him. The once king of Santa Carla had been reduced to a lowly shadow of his once proud self. His presence that had once oozed power and danger, now seemed to bring forward an aura of anger and desperation.

The once proud king of Santa Carla had lost his heir, and has now fallen from his paradise.

James looked once more at David’s snarling face before sighing and looking at him with a firm sense of purpose.

“Turn me” James commanded desperately “turn me and I’ll bring our girl back home”

[perfectsunlight]

(𝟓𝟔) - 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐈

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: none im sobbing rn

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

“jimin, again.” 

sweat dripped down jimin's forehead as she danced. she had been executing the same movements over and over again. she was in this predicament because she had made an error in the choreography, and the instructor was furious about it. 

“again.”

her body ached, everything was sore, and she couldn’t think straight anymore. 

“faster. again.”

the young woman inhaled a staggered breath, trying her best to not to shout in frustration. as much as she wanted to yell at the instructor, she couldn’t. she was a trainee, and emotions came second in this industry. you were no longer human once you entered the doors of a company.

“again.”

jimin’s arms moved faster, executing the movements in a more sharper manner, emphasizing her wrist movements as she did so. the sweat on her brow only thickened, making her eyelashes wet from the beads that trickled down.

“do it again.”

it wasn’t until seven more attempts that the dance instructor decided she had enough of humiliating jimin in front of her peers.

embarrassment. exhaustion. empty.

three E’s of feeling that yu jimin could currently feel burning inside her chest. her feet dragged as she made her way down the hall, aches surging with every step she took. her mind was foggy and she didn’t want anything else except going into her room and sleeping until the next year.

SM entertainment was home to talent of all kinds, but it came at the cost of one’s humanity at one point.

her feet moved faster. she already had her destination in mind. her hands knocked at your door, praying that you would answer it and not ningning. when you opened the door, she practically shoved you inside again and shut the door behind her. 

the taller girl’s hands moved to your waist, and your hands cupped her cheeks as tears fell. “oh baby,” you whispered softly. it didn’t take a genius to notice that your girlfriend had a bad day. “let me make you something to eat. you’ll feel better afterwards, i promise.” 

and so that’s what you did. jimin’s eyes watched as she leaned against the wall. you hummed in the kitchen, plating the food you had just made into two bowls. the baggy shirt you were wearing was actually one of hers. the way you softly sang a bruno mars song, the way your hair fell over your face. she had to admit, you had a knack for doing the right things at the right time. jimin was starving, and that was part of the reason why she had a lack of energy today. the food was definitely going to help her feel better, but it was also just your entire existence that made her forget about all of her problems.

the two of you laid on the couch, bowls of food in each other’s hands as you sat in comfortable silence. jimin felt bad. she knew she didn’t want to just sit there and bring up what happened, but she also knew that you were probably going to ask her anyway.

except, you didn’t. you did something else.

“we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” you had whispered softly, your shoulder resting against hers as you set your bowl on the small coffee table. “i know that look on your face.” a small chuckle escaped your lips as you intertwined your fingers together. 

jimin was stunned to say the least. you had been able to read her like it was nothing. without her even saying a single word, you could read her like an open paged book.

in that moment, yu jimin realized something. as her inner turmoil faded, and the sea of doubt in her mind turned dry, a small smile crept up onto her lips.

you didn’t need anything else except her. 

and she didn’t need anything else except you. all she ever needed was you, and sweet nothing.

as the evening unfolded, the weight of the day gradually lifted from jimin's shoulders. the warmth of your presence and the tenderness of your actions reminded her that she wasn't alone in this journey. with you by her side, she felt empowered to face the challenges that lay ahead, knowing that she had someone who understood and supported her unconditionally.

as the night grew darker, you both settled into a peaceful embrace on the couch. no words were needed; the silence spoke volumes. the soothing rhythm of your breathing intertwined with jimin's, creating a serene symphony of comfort and love.

the world outside faded away and jimin knew that tomorrow would bring its own set of obstacles, but she faced it with renewed strength and determination. because she had you—her rock, her solace, and her inspiration.

for jimin, the days of endless repetitions and harsh critiques might continue, but she had found a sanctuary within your arms, a safe haven where her spirit could rejuvenate and her dreams could thrive.

and as the night enveloped them in its embrace, jimin whispered those three simple words that carried the weight of a universe:

"i love you."

you smiled next to her, leaning in to give her a soft kiss on her lips as her hand came up to cup your cheek. her thumb brushed across the skin, relishing in the small gesture you showed.

 “i love you too.”

yu jimin looked into your eyes with an idea she knew the both of you would enjoy. it would turn this bad day around even more than it already had been.

“let’s go write a song together.”

the room was filled with an air of creativity as you and your girlfriend sat side by side, surrounded by instruments and notebooks filled with scribbles and lyrics. the moonlight gently streamed through the windows, casting a white glow on your faces as you delved into the world created by your lyrics.

jimin’s fingers effortlessly moved across the keys of the piano, creating a soft melody that resonated with your emotions. your voice filled the room, the words floating in the air like delicate petals. your lover listened intently, humming to herself a few words as she was determined to craft something beautiful with you.

as you intertwined your thoughts and shared experiences, the room became a sanctuary for creativity. your minds danced with ideas, and your hearts synchronized as each of you poured your souls into the lyrics. verse by verse, melody by melody, eventually led to a weaved tapestry of emotions, a song that would encapsulate love, struggles, and dreams.

in those moments of doubt, you would gently rest a hand on her shoulder, offering reassurance and unwavering support. "we'll figure it out together," you would say, your voice a soothing balm to jimin's creative soul. how fitting was it? that you, her muse and the inspiration for this song in the first place, were further proving her point about it all?

you were truly her sweet nothing, the calm to her chaos, and the eye in her storms. 

hours turned into days as you tirelessly crafted your masterpiece together. the song was half written for the most part, but you and jimin wanted to finish it eventually. 

if only the two of you could see, that like your relationship, the half written song would remain an unfinished story. an unsung song that would never see a life outside of the pages it was written on.

and now, in the present and not the past, jimin sat in SM’s recording studio, tears brimming at her eyes as she stared at the ink filled paged of her notebook. karina ran a hand through her black hair as she stared at the lyrics she wrote all those years ago. the lyrics to the half-finished song she wrote with you, the love of her life, her sweet nothing.

it had been years since you two last worked on it together, the unforeseen ending of the relationship taking you on separate paths. life had a funny way of intervening, the universe putting you two together just to tear you two apart.

as the idol read the words she had penned, a mixture of nostalgia and longing flooded her heart. the memories of why it was written in the first place, the late nights spent harmonizing voices, and the laughter shared in the creation of this half-finished masterpiece came rushing back.

the song had remained unfinished since the day you and karina broke up. she couldn’t bring herself to throw the song out even after she found it almost a year later. yet, here she was now, years later, making the song you two once started together, the song for her solo project.

as she traced her finger along the faded ink on the paper, jimin couldn't help but wonder. the potential of that song, the magic you both had created in those early days, it was something she could not let go to waste. 

it was time to revisit that unfinished song, to rekindle its fire that once burned so brightly.

for a fleeting moment, jimin thought about asking you to work on the song with her again. after all, you were the muse and inspiration for it. however, she quickly shot her idea down, remembering what yunjin had called you that night.

karina sat at the piano, her fingers gently caressing the keys as she stared at the lyrics you had last penned all those years ago. there were two phrases you had last written.

they said the end is coming.  all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

she took a deep breath, closing her eyes and calming her mind for a moment. she thought about everything that had happened recently with you two. jimin thought about the way she felt back then, and how she felt now. truth be told, there was not much of a difference in how she felt back then compared to now.

she still remembered everything, she could see the memories as clear as day. it felt like yesterday to her, honestly. it was all the same, but somehow not. she still hated her company for making her break up with you. she still hated how minjeong had a hand in all of this mess. she hated how all around her, it seemed as if there was no safe place to just be herself. 

it seemed like there was always someone or something that would come after yu jimin’s happiness. 

"industry disruptors and soul deconstructors," she softly sang, her voice filled with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. the words echoed in the room, resonating with the struggles she faced, constantly pushed and pulled by the demands of the music industry.

karina remembered the way your laugh sounded in that same room all that time ago, and her eyes filled with tears of gratitude and love. "to you, i can admit that i'm just too soft for all of it," she whispered, her voice just barely audible. the weight of the world seemed to dissipate as she poured her heart into the lyrics, finding solace in the honesty she shared in her feelings.

the aespa leader continued to sing, her fingers dancing across the white keys. she remembered the way minjeong had betrayed her trust, and yours, by putting those photos out. it was something that she would never forgive the younger girl for. 

"they said the end is coming, everyone's up to something," jimin sang, her voice tinged with a touch of defiance. the outside world may be filled with push and shove, but in that moment, it didn't matter. in the midst of her love for you, she found a refuge from the noise and the expectations, even now after all this time.

"all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing," karina sang, her voice filled with tenderness. in the grand scheme of things, it was the simplest of gestures—the moments of peace, your soft whispers, the love that transcended the noise of the world—that mattered the most.

as the final note faded away, the raven haired girl felt tears falling from her cheeks. the half finished song you had written together spoke of your journey—the struggles, the refuge, and the profound connection that once sustained it.

just as she did back then, karina knew that she had found her sanctuary in the arms of the person who saw her for who she truly was. this now finished song would be a testament to her love for you, a reminder that amidst the chaos and the demands of the world, all she needed was the sweetness of you.

the song was finally finished, and in each note and every word, she found solace, strength, and a profound sense of belonging. 

and maybe once you finally heard it, you’d still feel the same way too.

┊┊┊┊⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧　✵ ┊┊┊☆ *　　 * ⋆ ┊┊★ * ┊┊* . *　✦ ┊☆ ° ✧　 　 · ★*

you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation

[ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ]

[ninapi]

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Obsession❜ (Christmas Special)┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

Premise: When someone doesn't know you exist is your sole source of comfort, things can't get a bit weird. In Christmas day things are better for everyone, including Geto Suguru.

Word Count: 2717

Note: Merry xmas everyone! 🫶🏻🎄☃️

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

A wondering soul that feeds on human filth. That’s the way he would describe himself, especially on nights like this.

The night sky was murky, not a single star in the sky and it looked like it would snow any time now.

He’s had to swallow three curses today and the negative toll in his body could be noticed a mile away.

His thoughts had been very chaotic as of late and he barely even sleeps.

All he thinks about is how awful this world is and how it’d be better if curses didn’t exist, but not even the strongest sorcerer would be able to wipe them all clean, as more grow out of humans every day.

Humans must be the problem, why must they be so evil and hateful, why are they always so depressed and anxious? If they were sorcerers the world wouldn’t be this bad, is their fault for not being able to use curse energy but create it and let it out of control. 

Useless, useless humans.

On his way back to the academy Suguru stopped by a cafe that looked like it was about to close.

He needed something bitter, something that would kill that disgusting taste out of his mouth.

The only worker left in said cafe was a girl that appeared to be about his age, probably a part-timer, even in the dark her beautiful rounded eyes and shining smile were a sight for sore eyes.

She took his order and headed to the back to prepare it herself as the rest of her coworkers had headed home for the night. When she came back with his order though, it wasn’t at all what he had ordered, “I’m sorry, I’m actually not a barista so making a hand dripped seasonal coffee isn’t in my skill set, but my parents say I’m very good at making hot chocolate and since it’s so cold outside today, I thought maybe what you needed was just something warm and sweet? Maybe I read the situation wrong but I hope you like it nonetheless, you don’t have to pay me or anything!” she had even done a cute snowman print on the top of the foam for his drink and he couldn’t help but smile.

A nice ending to such an awful day.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

There’s a reason why Suguru doesn’t sleep well, the nightmares hunt him, some aren’t even related to his life, the overconsumption of curses has been doing some damage in his mental stability and he is even afraid of his own shadow at times.

He still hates humanity, he’s this deranged all because of them. 

All except that one sweet girl from the coffee shop down second avenue, she’s an angel.

He wished he at least knew her name, but he wasn’t proactive enough to even ask.

In nights like this, where his nightmares keep coming back over and over again doesn’t matter how many times he’d wake up in the middle of them, all that would ground him to reality was the thought of her smile.

He’d imagine him walking over from behind, surprising her with a soft warm hug. Wrap his scarf around the two of them so she wouldn’t be able to escape his love. 

He’d imagine her making more of that hot chocolate that was oh so delicious and completely wiped out the taste of death from his mouth.

Even better, he’d imagine her kissing the hot chocolate into his mouth.

While he was not able to sleep even with such comforting thoughts, at least the nightmares would go away.

But this night in particular he just didn’t seem to be able to snap out of it, he’d talk to his pillow like it was you, holding it close to his body, sweet talking it to its death as it has now been reduced to mush and it’s in his trashcan after a wave of reality made him seen the pillow for what it was.

So next morning he was just not able to control himself anymore, he had to see her, he had to look into those beautiful eyes up close, even if it was for a second he needed to hear her lovely voice, sniff the same air that came out of her mouth while greeting customers, he needed to be in the same space as her, even if he didn’t dare to come closer.

He learned your name was (Y/N) after one of your coworkers yelled at you after spilling some coffee on the counter and burning a customer’s hand. He wanted nothing more than to burn his face with the same coffee just so he would scream in pain. How dare he yell at someone as precious as you? That scum, of course, he had to be human…

That day he also learned you don’t work there every day and that you’re in school too. You were reading some cards while there were no customers ordering, like a good girl. Such a lovely dedicated young woman, you had to be a saint for sure, a goddess probably.

And with an all time high, he left the shop without you even noticing he was there.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

In all truth, he thought seeing you for real once more would put an end to this tightness of his chest. He was fully conscious of how creepy he was being and how unreasonable it was to be feeling so many things for a complete stranger, but things were very difficult for him. 

He was lonely, sad, stressed. A huge turmoil was building up inside of him as days went by and you were the only positive thing inside that mind of his.

Hence, he held into the thought of you so tightly that at some point he stopped having nightmares completely. All he would dream about was of that lovely face of yours and how you would live with him in this beautiful world without regular humans and curses.

But he forgot something crucial.

You were very much one of them, a human, nothing more.

And the realization of that hit him hard on the face when Friday came around, the day to drop by the cafe and creep on you without anybody noticing.

Just that this Friday was different. 

A pesky curse was touching you in a nasty way, almost as if it was fondling you.

Of course you couldn’t see it, nor feel it really, but distress was clear on your face the entire time he was there. 

He had to do something, he couldn’t allow that disgusting thing to keep its hands on his precious babe. 

But what if eating said curse tasted like you?

A sudden need to get it into his array of curses rose in his chest sending him to spiral into a very unexpected ride that left him panting and whimpering on his seat, traumatizing a child that was sitting on a table close by.

He was creeping himself out at this point, but the thought of you was the only thing that kept him away from total insanity, and he needed to get that thing off of you, was the least he could do after all you’ve done for him, even if you had no clue of what that was.

But he didn’t know how to get it off without you noticing, he had to develop a plan quickly. And so he remained hidden on an alleyway close to the shop waiting for you to leave for the day.

Once you did, you looked miserable. Staying all day watching you like a hawk made him realize you weren’t the happy goddess he thought you were but a normal human. The same coworker that yelled at you last time kept harassing you all day and to make it worse someone called you in your break and he could hear you sobbing from where he was hidden. It was now clear to him that curse was actually coming out of you, it wasn’t something that got attached but rather created by you. An awful realization as he saw how not even his pure angel was free from the disgusting nature of human kind.

You were stressed and sad and that made this weak pesky curse to come out. He wanted to do more for you than just exterminating the flower of doom that blossomed from your distress, he knew that wouldn’t really make all that was bugging you to go away, but was all he could do. He couldn’t really just talk to you after all.

He had been so hooked up with the entire situation that he hadn’t noticed today was Christmas Day. Apparently to you that was a big thing and for the look on your face probably the plans had been cancelled earlier. 

The curse noticed him following them and kept taunting him by touching you in a suggestive manner as if making fun of him, it was irritating to say the least but he couldn’t just send one of his big curses to chase it away, it could get you harmed and that’s the last thing he wants.

He had to get close and he didn’t know what to do. 

Lost in his thoughts he didn’t realize you had stopped walking, making him bump onto your back. The drink you were holding, a Christmas present given to all employees at the cafe, falling into the snow. “Oh, I’m so sorry miss. Are you ok? I was just so distracted I didn’t see you there…” of course he saw you, he’s been following you for hours, but it wasn’t entirely a lie.

“It’s ok, don’t worry. I don’t even drink tea anyways…not like they would know that at my workplace, they don’t care enough for that…” the last part came out as nothing but a whisper but he heard it. He knows you’ve been struggling at work and most likely at home too, but of course he couldn’t really say anything about it.

“How about I buy you something you do like in exchange?” 

“That’s not necessary really…today is Christmas Day I’m sure you have something better to do than buy a stranger a drink.” oh but there was nothing he’d rather do than to breathe the same air as you, this was already the best Christmas he’s ever had. Again, something he couldn’t tell you.

“Not really, I was going to go out with my school friends but they’re all busy so they cancelled it. Have nothing better to do. But if you do, I understand, I can give you the mon-“ you stopped his babbling before he continued, truth is, you were feeling very lonely and the thought of not going to your empty house this early was lovely. “I-I don’t…I don't have anything to do either…” your cheeks were tinging red and his liver was pounding in pain at your beauty, an odd feeling I may add.

“Then how about we go to that place over there? Seems designed for cute girls…I bet they have more than tea there.” his nonchalant attitude made his almost flirting banter so smooth it made you even more flustered so you just nodded and walked with him.

“You like chocolate right?” that startled you, was he some kind of stalker? He was, honestly, but you didn’t know that. The moment you saw his face it clicked in your head, that one customer that had to drink your hot cocoa just because you were too slow at closing that night.

“Oh! I knew you looked familiar! And yes, I do love chocolate.” your cute giggles were music to his ears, he was in love wasn’t he? 

“Then lets go get some chocolate. Since that day I kinda became addicted to it too, you were right, you’re definitely a pro at making it.” being with him was making all the sadness and depressive thoughts from your head to go away in such an easy nonintrusive way it was amazing. Of course you had no idea you were doing even more than that for him by just existing in his own space.

“I’m glad you didn’t hate it…I was so nervous!” 

His soft chuckles were so attractive, he was so attractive it was hard to think about how your boyfriend just broke up with you via phone call, on Christmas Day. This is just what you needed. “You should be proud, I’m a man that drinks bitter coffee all the time, and you turned me into a chocolover.” and your secret lover too, but that was better kept hidden for the time being.

The afternoon was fantastic after said encounter.

You went to that pink shop in the new district which was full with other high school girls giggling loudly. He got you a Christmas parfait which was hell more expensive than the stupid tea he dumped on the snow, but filled your heart with excitement.

Seeing you eating it like a child made his heart feel so full he almost forgot about killing the damn curse.

After a lovely stroll by the nearby park he took advantage of how cold you seemed to relive one of the many fantasies he had with you while also killing the curse at the same time, a win-win situation.

He took off half of his scarf and wrapped it around your neck, bringing you impossibly close to him, while you were all flustered and looking like a cute couple Christmas card, he was gathering the disgusting curse in his palm turning it into a little ball and saving it in his pocket. He did more than what he thought he was even allowed to dream of and all he could think about now was about kissing those soft rosy lips of yours. And by the look of you, you were thinking the very same thing. “You know…I was dumped today…I didn’t love him or anything so its fine…but don’t you think it might be you know like…” you sighed afraid of using the words that were hunting your thoughts. “Destiny?” his smug grin was making you shy again but he was right, that’s what you were thinking of, so you just nodded.

“Why were you dating him if you didn’t love him? If I may ask…” you two remained there by a decorated lamp post, wrapped in the warmth of his fuzzy scarf, nearly holding each other though not really touching just yet. “I was just lonely…”

His heart dropped, you were lonely just as he was. The realization that other people might be feeling similar to him, even if it was for different reasons, was oddly comforting.

“I can understand that feeling…But if you ask me, you’ll be better off without that bastard. Who makes a beautiful girl like you sad in Christmas day? I would smack him on the face if he was here..” he really did know how to make you smile, this was so comforting, for both of you, it was like your little heaven made out of snow and Christmas decorations.

“You’re too good to me, Geto-san…” 

“Well you deserve that and more. That smile is way prettier than the frown you had when we met earlier. I would like to see it on your face again. If you’d like to see me again, that is…” he was crossing a line, one he couldn’t back off from. But it wasn’t like it was absolutely necessary for you to know he’s been secretly stalking you for weeks…right…?

“I slipped my phone number in the front pocket of your coat a couple of hours back…” and just like that, this year’s Christmas brought both of you a very unexpected gift.

The gift of hope, the gift of feeling understood and maybe, just maybe a bigger one, the gift of…true love.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Masterlist

[archduchessofnowhere]

Sorry to bother you again, but can you elaborate the "Maximilian and Charlotte may not have ever consummated their marriage" thing? Because I don't know that much about those two and I always thought one or both of them just had some sort of fertility issue (which really wasn't that uncommon even back then, see Max' own mum before Franz was born).

Hello! Tbh I don't know exactly when the rumor started, but basically one of the theories as to why Maximilian and Charlotte never had a child is because they just weren't even trying to have one. This usually comes in hand with the theory that Max was either impotent or gay, and therefore he simply couldn't or didn't want to sleep with his wife. While we just can't know what truly was happening in their bedroom, I find hard to believe they didn't even try to consummate their marriage.

Now, probably the idea that they never had sex became popular because it seems that during their time in Mexico they indeed weren't sleeping together - in the literal sense, since they had separated bedrooms. This surprised many of their contemporaries, as Max's Mexican secretary José Luis Blasio wrote in his memoirs:

The Emperor made his triumphal entry into Puebla at six minutes to nine in the morning; it was his second visit to the city. After breakfasting, Maximilian visited the rooms which had been prepared for the Empress and manifested his satisfaction at seeing the magnificent double bed, with its canopy of fine lace and silken ribbons, which was waiting for the imperial pair. But as soon as the host was out of the way His Majesty ordered the servants to find a room at a distance from the bedchamber and set up his traveling cot there. He did this almost angrily.

Being completely new to the court, and not having confidence in any of the servants, I was unable to let any of them know how strange Maximilian’s conduct seemed to me. What conjugal drama was concealed by the Emperor’s action? Why was it that two young married persons, who in public seemed to love each other, at the age of vigor shared no marital life, and the husband appeared irritated at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed with his wife?

Later I was completely convinced that some estrangement existed between them, something the nature of which for the moment I was unable to decide; whether it was created because of reasons of state, because of the Emperor’s infidelity or because of some organic defect in Maximilian. For neither in Puebla, nor in Mexico City in the palace, nor at Chapultepec did they ever sleep together. This could not escape the servants’ notice, for the attendants of the Empress slept near her and those of Maximilian in a room adjoining his. (1934, p. 16)

It should be noted that it was common for royals to have different bedrooms, so that isn't really that surprising (although in Mexico it was definitely seen as odd). Now, as Blasio remarks, the servants should've noticed if they were visiting each others rooms - and it seems they didn't. Also because of Maximilian's trips they actually spent a lot of time separated in Mexico, and if we add to that all the stress they were going through, I don't think it's that strange if they just didn't have much energy to get intimate.

But yeah, I also believe it's more likely that they had some sort of infertility problem rather than solely not having sex. In fact among the Wittelsbachs there had been a lot of cases of infertility in the last two generations: Sophie suffering several miscarriages before having FJ; Caroline Auguste, Elisabeth and Marie of Bavaria never had children, as neither did Otto of Greece nor his sister Mathilde (all of them were married for decades). And I also can think of some of Max's Wittelsbach cousins who had one child but then never again were able to have another. I'm not saying it was the same cause for all these cases, but simply pointing out that not being able to concieve was relatively more common than people seem to realize, and even more so in a family were this had happened often. Max for instance seems to have already resignated to not being a father by the 1860s.

Thank you for your question, if I find something else I'll let you know!

SOURCE:

Blasio, José Luis (1934). Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico: Memoirs of His Private Secretary, José Luis Blasio (translated by Robert Hammond Murray)

[tracesofdevotion]

i think that if i don't do something significant in my life, there was no point in me being born. i should have stayed a concept in god's cosmic notebook. i am scared that the most i will ever do in my life is work a minimum wage job. that i'll marry the first person who shows interest in me, have a two or three children, and go out quietly. i want to do something with my life. i do not want to be mediocre.

i am already mediocre. i have poor social connections. i have trouble meeting people's eyes. i am not interesting. i do not do anything that has any impact. i am lazy and cowardly. sometimes i dream about being famous, about people wanting to hear what i have to say. but that will never be a reality.

i hate my teeth. i hate my hair. i hate how i look in the mirror. i do not like how i dress and i do not like the words that flow out of my mouth. nothing that i do i regard with any fondness.

it's easy to say that if i don't like it, i should just change it. but i can't. i have no way of fixing any of it. i have no energy to fix anything. it's easier to wallow. it's easier to lay in my bed and look at my phone for hours than to confront my reflection.

sometimes i think, hey, maybe this is what being "real" is like. maybe this is the natural way of things. no one is ever happy with themselves, everyone has some aspect of themselves that they struggle with.

my only issue with that is that no, i am certain that this is a me problem. that yes, it is normal to dislike some aspect of yourself, but it isn't normal to be so repulsed by your own existence.

i envy artists, in a strange way. they have the ability to draw their pain, to spit it on the page and transform it into something beautiful. i wish that i had that talent. i wish that my pain could be turned into something valuable and worthwhile.

i have no passion or drive. i have nothing that makes me feel like my heart is bursting with pride and contentment. my only escape is reading or writing or sleeping. i could not even tell you what my top 5 hobbies are. my only goal right now is to graduate and get a job. i do not have career goals. i do not have life goals. i have only a vague idea of what i think "a good life" would be.

i hope that i don't sound like a typical whiny teenager. i know that my issues are not unusual nor are they particularly distressing. there are people who suffer far worse things. this is a self-inflicted depression, caused by myself. it is not a chemical imbalance, it is my own failure to be interesting.

i know that i am young, and i know that i am not doomed to be the person i am forever. i know that i have my whole life ahead of me. i know that my current situation is only temporary. but the knowledge of that doesn't stop the anxiety, nor does the belief that this will be a phase do anything to help the situation in this very moment, while i'm stuck in high-school and i'm trying to figure out what to do with myself.

i am stuck doing pointless work, in pointless classes, with people whom i do not get along with (and some who dislike me immensely). every day is spent worrying about the assignments i don't understand or cannot finish, stressing myself out over college applications i'm not prepared for, and the ever-looming reality of my uncertain future.

in my heart of hearts, i know that i am being somewhat dramatic. that i should be patient, that i will make it through this. i know all of this, and still it hurts.

[atomarium]

I don't personally understand the motivation of the ancients. The whole plot of Rain World revolves around the cycle of death and life. The cycle provides guarantees that whatever happens, you will still live. This security is not a curse; it's a gift. Just imagine what you could do! There are no risks too great, no sacrifices too great, no goal unachievable. If, in the end, everything comes back, why would you want to escape this security?

The motivation for that stated in the game is primarily boredom or tiredness. But if we can approximately say that a cycle is at most a week, and a couple of thousand weeks is indeed a lot, there is still so much to do! You could learn every language, study all the sciences, help others, build things, maybe even be friends with everyone at some point. Everyone can explore their interests without fear of time or death. And in their society, even without fear of hunger or danger. Perhaps they wouldn't want to kill themselves if they didn't eat gravel and starve themselves?

Martyrs tried to achieve Ascension, which, as far as I know, is STILL LIFE. You still experience things, it's just in a different plane. It's not absolute nothingness, nonexistence of yourself like in our world.

It is also clear to me that the ancients weren't the brightest and the most curious. We know that other stars exist, and there is, at the very least, the moon. You can't say none of them looked up at the sky and never wondered what is up there and how it all works. And tell me that they just "didn't bother." The fact that they didn't even try finding out if void sea existed on other planets! What if their planet was special? If so, then why? Do they know how the world started? Do they know why the cycle exists? Why didn't they want to know the universes beauty and secrets ?

If they are capable of building enormous godlike creations that aren't machines nor are quite organisms and making thousands if not millions of them, and capable of producing practically infinite amounts of energy, they surely possess the intelligence and the ability to travel among stars! And they don't even know the existence of void worms. Or what is the void sea itself. Or even why is it there.

But yet they create organisms who are themselves trapped in a cycle to serve only them and only their purpose. If they hated life so much, why didn't they try to make it better? And not only for themselves, but for every creature. They clearly have the ability to. You could make artificial bliss, relive your memory forever in a loop, exist in a constant state of happiness. Or if you are tired of it, why not just go to sleep forever in a cryo chamber? Why not build monuments, art, wonders of your own achievement? They could have done so much, brought so much peace and happiness to the world and its creatures. But instead, they abandoned their universe and built their own gods, the iterators. Whose only purpose was to find a way to kill them, reliably. Bash their head at a great problem, countless times. At the problem that they themselves created. Because those who sinned were afraid to ascend the old way. Out of fear of being stuck here forever, forced to love this world as an echo. They essentially made their children, their creations slaves with only one purpose, and in the process, doomed the ecosystem of their own world. This is relatable to humanity in some sorts, but at least we are curious; we try finding out answers to questions that may not even be answerable.

But hey at least we now have scugs.

I may be misinformed about some things, wrong about others. I would apriciate any comments remarks or additions to this.

Also to those who have red everything so far.

May the iterators have mercy on you.

[selino-fos]

take this color psychology test and share your results. pick the color that makes you feel the best when you look at it first, then repeat the process for the remaining colors until none of them are left.

your existing situation: very emotional and artistic, enjoys being surrounded by beauty and art. looking for a partner who always has an eye for beauty and who enjoys close, loving relationships.

your stress sources: always trying to make a good impression on others, but doubtful he is succeeding. feels he has the right to everything he hopes and dreams of and becomes annoyed and helpless when things don't go his way. is troubled by the very thought of failure which leaves him feeling miserable. always sees himself as the victim as if everyone treats him poorly and he never is given his fair share. feels his failures are no fault of his own, but due to the shortcomings of others.

your restrained characteristics: current events leave him feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation. seeking to broaden his horizons and believes his hopes and dreams are realistic. worries he may not be able to do the things he wants and needs to escape to a peaceful, quiet environment in order to restore his confidence. conceited and is easily insulted. holds back emotionally but is able to find satisfaction through sexual activity.

your desired objective: looking to make a good impression and be recognized for his achievements. he has a strong need to feel appreciated and look up to. he is very sensitive and will be hurt if he is rejected, unnoticed, or not given adequate acknowledgement.

your actual problem: all energy has been used and he has none left to engage in anymore anxiety or demands. feeling powerless to change the situation, leaving him frustrated, agitated, irritated, and annoyed with himself. tries to escape by acting stubbornly sticking to his opinions, but his helplessness leads to some insecurities. is very sensitive to criticism and easily offended.

your actual problem #2: has been disappointed and let down, believes it is pointless to come up with new goals as they will most likely disappoint as well. needs to be recognized and respected, but is worried about the future. reacts by avoiding situations where he will be criticizes or others will attempt to influence him. tries to take charge of the situation by controlling the details and strengthen his position.

tagged by: @t-hevessel

tagging: @narcoleptic-sleep @nuit-sanglant @scnnenhungriger @lartist-e @farbfaser @imrauschdertiefe

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

The Saint of Golden Light

https://www.patreon.com/empyreaniris?fan_landing=true

https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing

Sunny held Adam in her arms, cradling his war-ravaged body against her chest as she rocked silently back and forth. A part of her thought about briefly leaving him there, running over to the railing and looking for her father, as if there was any chance that he might have escaped kazna, let her fall and survived himself. 

But she didn’t move.

She knew better.

Drev loved only once. It didn’t matter what Kazna had done or what she had said, there was always a part of Lanus that loved her. So despite her misguided hope, she knew.

Lanus had chosen to fall with her.

He had chosen to stop existing, to save his children, to save the universe, and for that little bit of him to stay with her, to destroy himself as he destroyed her.

Blood slicked the metal beneath her. 

Her body ached, and as she knelt, a weakness spread into her limbs that made it hard to hold herself upright. She was so tired, so tired even weeping was becoming too much of a chore, and though Adam was growing heavy, she didn’t want to put him down. 

The skin of his face had gone ghostly white in the near darkness. His hair was slicked with sweat, plastered against his forehead in little tendrils. The UV stripes, visible on his face, were just a little off. She rested a hand against the skin of his cheek, cold to the touch. Little sparks of white energy hung in the air around the ring, flickering like fireflies against the night sky, falling like snow in meandering trails towards the gravity mats below.

Other shapes moved in the near darkness, but she didn’t look up.

She was so tired.

She stroked a thumb over Adam’s cold cheek.

“Let me see what I can do.” 

Sunny barely heard the words, and it took krill another two times of repeating it before she acknowledged his presence, shifting her arms so Krill could get a better look. She turned Adam gently to the side so krill could see the devastation that Kazna had brought. 

Krill sucked in a sharp breath.

Her heart sank just a little more.

“We have to move him now, I can help…. But we need to do it fast.”  Krill said, 

Problem was, the portal was gone. They had gotten here but, it seemed, now that Apollyon was gone, he had taken the portals with him. Still, the two of them looked, as if expecting the portal to have been moved to a more convenient location over the course of their fight.

But they found nothing.

They were stuck here 

Sunny clutched Adam a bit tighter.

Would the makers let her see her children again once she died.

Who would raise them if not?

She and Adam had failed to talk about that before they left. It was negligent of them not to have spoken, but neither of them had been prepared for a conversation as devastating as their children losing both parents. It was either one of them came back or Apollyon won and it didn’t matter anymore.

Sunny lowered her head, continued to rock back and forth humming gently to Adam whose eyes were still open.

She wished he would just pass out, at least then he wouldn’t be in pain.

“You can sleep now” She said softly, “It's…. Okay.”

Adam shook his head, and though his eyes were distan’t and his words slurred, he still spoke, “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

A similar scene was playing out not so distantly. Ramirez had extracted himself from his crushed armor and crawled over to where Maverick lay, face down, on the deck one hand dangling over the side. Golden light pulsed around her in jagged edges like the paint peeling off an old car. When he touched her, the light shifted some of it shedding and dissipating into the metal.

He tried to hold her gently for fear that she would turn to ash in his hands.

“Maverick….. Maverick.”

She didn’t respond.

Krill still knelt at Adam’s side helpless to do much with the field kit he had brought along with him. He couldn’t fix anima injury, so could do nothing for maverick, but even Adam’s injuries were bodily catastrophic. The nerve damage alone would take a year or more of rehabilitation even in the best scenario, with all of the most advanced technology.

If they didn’t get him into surgery soon, there was no doubt in Krill’s mind he’d be paralyzed from the chest down if not the neck.

 Sunny dropped her head onto his chest and hummed sadly, unable to put into words what she was feeling.

It was the soft, golden light that alerted them to his presence.

At first Sunny’s heart leapt, hoping beyond hope it was her father escaped from Kazna’s clutches, but it took no more than a glance to prove herself incorrect.

The architect floated softly down from the darkness. The burning white light had mostly gone away, spent in an effort to Destroy Apollyon’s forces, leaving behind only a visible echo of that power. The golden halo that surrounded his body was dim enough to leave his features apparent. The architect’s silhouette was human, but beyond that he chose no specific form. His face and skin morphed continually across the spectrum of humanity, dark to light, masculine to feminine, and aged and withered all the way down to a youthful prime.

It was disconcerting, but Sunny didn’t have the energy to stare.

Krill and Ramirez remained silent as the architect approached ribbons of golden light trailing behind him as he walked. WHerever he stepped, he left a glowing golden footprint.

“Thank you.” He said softly, “Creation is in your debt.”

The words meant something big, but none of them could think large enough to comprehend it.

Creation.

Everything.

“I am sorry I could not have done more, but my power had been waning for some time. You have restored balance to the cosmic scales.”

Krill frowned, “Wait, you didn’t destroy him?”

“It is not possible to destroy apollyon, like it is impossible to destroy me. But like the balance of the ecosystem, so too must the universe find its balance. When the scale tips, those held within suffer.” He raised a hand and gestured to the black hole, “Apollyon does not understand this. He and I have no beginning and we have no end, we cannot exist without one or the other to destroy one would destroy us both…. The result of such a thing is….. Incomprehensible, even to me. What you stopped was a fate worse than simply not existing.”

Sunny didn’t speak. 

Adam looked like he wanted to say something, but the bloodloss had taken his tongue.

“Please….” Was the only thing Sunny managed.

The architect raised his hands, and as he did, there appeared in the sky behind him a very familiar shape.

Glowing white like a beautiful cosmic ribbon, Smaug turned in a slow spiral Maleficent hanging at his neck. The architect stepped back, slowly growing in size as he stepped off the platform to hover within the vacuum. Gently, he reached out, and plucked the group of them from the deck, cradling them easily in the palms of his hands as he turned towards Smaug.

The group of them experienced no ill effects, needed no space suits.

Smaug Spiraled around, clasping his own tail firmly in his jaws to summon a warp portal through which the architect gently deposited them.

***

They had lost so much

Though they had won, the aftermath of the battle was devastation. Little did they know, but Apollyon’s supporters had not been simply relegated to the necritorium.  All across the galaxies and worlds, void soldiers were given the task of dealing death in an effort to funnel energy towards their dark god. 

The death toll was somewhere in the trillions and climbing ever higher with every passing day.

Some worlds had it worse than others.

Earth had lost an entire city to a single nuclear missile strike perpetrated by void soldiers.

Irus, the center of the void outbreak, had been rendered uninhabitable, its vast tracts of blue desert sand had been glassed into a single sheet of radioactive wasteland. Its great ruins and capital city had been obliterated, and its delicate ecosystem had been entirely annihilated. It was lucky that the Rundi’ had been recolonizing multiple planets for the past thousand years, and many had managed to escape even before the glassing, but still 

Tragedy was an understatement.

The Rundi no longer had a homeworld.

Noctopolis had broken out into all out war.

The Tesraki homeworld lost thousands in building collapses and bombings.

The Tvek and the Kree were no more

All across the galaxies, there was devastation.

Arcadia was the only planet that had seen casualties below triple digits, and even then most of the dead had been void infected soldiers. 

Some  were calling it the battle of Armigeddon, the day of reckoning, the end of times as foretold in so many religious texts across creeds and species.

Others weren’t so sure.

As for personal losses, there were many.

The Chairwoman of the GA

Naktan

Simon, and the crew of the Omen

Captain McCaster

Queen Xanthia

Hijan- Who died in brave combat for honor

Jane - taken by artillery fire. 

General Kimball 

Admiral Palmer

Admiral Koslov 

And to Sunny’s added agony

Kanan and Dzara, both Killed fighting to hold the Gate.

And now she was alone, the only surviving member of her family.

The rest had died, their Anima sucked into the Necrotorium funnel, and then used to augment the architect. The Makers promised that the broken souls could be collected and put back together. But a thousand years might as well be eternity when you are mortal, and basically eternity even as a Maker.

In the days following Armageddon, the world limped back to life, the universe went on, but there were still scars, reminders of what they had lost. 

In agreements between constructs and Makers, it was agreed that all Makers return to Revelation. Kelly agreed on the condition that she could serve to the end of her terms, what was a matter of four to eight years for eternity. Celex outright refused, telling the makers he would come when he was damn ready, but at least agreed to keep a low profile.

The makers would cut contact, revelation would be moved.

They would vanish into obscurity.

All those who had received Animectomy procedures agreed to have the effects reversed until the time of their natural deaths. Krill was mildly disappointed but eventually, and grudgingly agreed. 

Adam made a mostly full recovery.

The Steel Eye project and all of its iterations were shut down permanently and direct nerve-linked equipment for the purpose of military application was  banned galaxy-wide.

Statues were erected, the first on Arcadia, the second on Anin.

The savior of the universe.

Lanus the saint of Golden Light

A figure that would rise to almost deity-like qualities in the coming years

Adam abdicated his throne on Arcadia as did Eris, though she had better things to do. 

It was hard to run a planet when you have been appointed the newest and youngest ever chairwoman of the GA.

King James remained king of the spartans, but handed power over to the most surprising candidate, and one Adam was entirely unsure about for the first few months.

Conn made a surprisingly good president, aside from his habit of leering through Adam’s bedroom window for the fun of it. 

Numerous Starborn nations joined the GA.

Both Adam and Sunny, neither entirely made for the simple life, dedicated themselves to intergalactic exploration and diplomacy, everything they had missed from the old days.

There were still plenty of things in the universe to fight.

Adam finally went back to school for a doctoral degree in “cool science stuff” he always wanted to do but thought he couldn’t  specifically xenobiology.

Krill continued to write journals, argue with Riss and occasionally go on missions. 

Maverick recovered, and though the going was slow, her long time friendship with Ramirez healed and might have grown into something else.

Kay Astra and Nyx grew up under the watchful eye of their grandfather’s statue proudly standing on the square outside the spiral tower. 

[watercolor-hearts]

listen, am i so so sorry to be that person who always requests the same couple but literally the way you write them is perfect 😩

so “Your heartbeat sounds like home.” with simi?

First of all, sorry for the long wait, I wanted to post this yesterday but we were having a birthday grill party and I didn't have much time to write this until after the party was over but when I finished it, it was almost midnight so I thought it's better to leave it for tomorrow.

Important part: Dear Nyx, please don't ever apologise for sending story requests about the same couple. You're that one person I know will 99% send me a prompt if I reblog a list or post about wanting to write. And you are the reason why I'm here now, 20+ stories this summer, writing these little ficlets and having the chance to escape from reality while working on them. You're the reason why I'm not afraid anymore to open up about the topics I like to write about. Because you're here, supporting me, giving me the chance to write about what I like without having to fear about what people will think or whether they'll be laughing at it/me or thinking it's gross to write about it. So please, don't apologise for making me feel loved and supported. Thank you so much for everything. ❤

With this story we're now back at Depressed Seb AU, a few hours after where we left them in the previous ficlet. You can read it without reading the previous two ficlets/chapters in this universe but it's better if you read them before this one to understand this better.

Seb/Kimi • 1170 words • heartbeats • cuddling • comfort • mentions of past death wish • opening up • healing journey • caring/supportive Kimi • happiness • Ao3 link

-

When Kimi woke up from the nap, he could still feel the unusual but pleasant weight on his chest, golden curls spread out everywhere. Kimi sighed, soft smile on his face.

A few moments later Sebastian started waking up too, lifting his head up with a confused expression on his face, not really understanding the situation.

“Hi, darling,” Kimi said, softly.

“Oh, God, I forgot your back,” Seb exclaimed, wanting to get up quickly so Kimi could stand up and stretch, but his boyfriend stopped him.

“Don't worry about it. It's okay,” Kimi said, “You can lie back if you want to. You used to love sleeping on my chest. How was it for you now?

Seb slowly lay back, letting out a satisfied sigh as his head landed on Kimi's chest.

“It was... It was good. Easy to sleep. Felt safe.”

“I'm glad,” Kimi said, his hand resting on Seb's back. It felt nice that Seb lay back, not just run away from the intimacy. Kimi knew Seb still has problems with it and it's not something that instantly changes as he comes home but these small steps were definitely a good sign. Seb felt safe with him. This meant everything to Kimi.

“Your heartbeat sounds like home,” Seb said, breaking the silence a few moments later.

“Really?” Kimi asked, surprised. Seb has always been the cheesier one, but after everything that happened, this hit really close to home for Kimi.

“It's always the same and it's always here. It helps.” It wasn't easy for Seb to find the right words to describe his feelings but he tried because he knew communication is important. “I—I missed it. Sometimes. But I felt like I have no energy to... I don't know, turn around and cuddle you. Sometimes it was too warm, I didn't want anyone to touch me, I didn't want to feel the warmth or the weight of another person's body. Sometimes I felt like there was this big weight on me. I don't even know what it was but I just wanted to be alone, nobody touching me or talking to me, not moving, only existing. It was... It was really bad. I didn't know how to ask for help. I just wanted it to stop because I wanted to live but this thing was stronger than me. It took away everything from me. Happiness, love, motivation, energy. In the end I just... I just wanted it to stop. I was waiting for the day when I don't wake up anymore and I'm not a burden for you anymore. It was—” Seb struggled with the words as his throat tightened and tears filled his eyes, “It was really dark and scary but after a while, I just wanted to go,” he said, eyes fixed on their reflection on the screen of the switched-off tv in front of them, not daring to look at Kimi and see the pain in his eyes, “So you could be happy again with someone else. I'm sorry.”

Kimi had to close his eyes and take a deep breath before even trying to say anything. He felt his heart breaking into million little pieces. He knew it wasn't going to be an easy journey but moments like this still made his eyes tear up. He wanted to hug Seb so much.

“Can you please...?” Seb asked weakly, closing his eyes and snuggling Kimi, hoping he'll understand it without words.

“Of course, darling,” Kimi whispered, hugging Seb, trying to breathe evenly so he wouldn't start crying. “I'm so sorry you had to experience this. I'm so sorry.”

“If you weren't there with me, I wouldn't be here today.” Strong words from Seb but they were true. If Kimi didn't call an ambulance that day, the outcome would've been very different. “I just—I'm glad to be here, feel you hug me, hear your heartbeat. I'm glad for every little thing. For your support, for being there with me in the hospital every day for at least a few hours, not giving up on me when I felt like I can't do it, respecting my boundaries but never making me feel not loved. There are not a lot of people who would do what you did and still do for me.”

“I love you,” Kimi whispered, voice weak, tears finding the way for themselves down his face. “I would do everything for you. Everything, Seb. I did a few things wrong in the past, like not noticing the seriousness of the situation sooner, but now I know what to pay attention to and how to help and support you. I won't leave you alone when you're at your lowest. I'll never leave you alone,” he promised, so Seb didn't have to worry about it anymore.

“I love you too. We learn how to solve this together,” Seb said, soft smile on his face. He was safe in Kimi's hug. He hasn't felt this safe in a long time. “This way it will be easier because I have someone to hold on to, someone to motivate me and be happy with me when I achieve something.”

“Yeah,” Kimi nodded, looking at the ceiling, trying to swallow his tears, and then back at Seb's golden curls. They were so much healthier and longer now since he started eating again. “I want to do this journey with you, cry with you, laugh with you, experience all the emotions with you.”

They were silent for a while but none of them mind it. It was pleasant silence. Safe silence. Together.

Breathing was easy, hearts were beating steadily.

“You know you can always listen to my heart, right?” Kimi broke the silence, making Seb open his eyes. “Or just feel it. You can. Any time. If it helps.”

“Really?” Seb asked, lifting his head to look at Kimi.

“I mean... I have it. All the time. So yeah,” Kimi smiled, making Seb smile as well, “You can always ask for a hug or a cuddle, or if that's too much you can just put your hand on my chest or feel my pulse on my wrist or wherever you want to, really. If I can help you simply by existing, why wouldn't I do it? I want you to be okay. I want you to be happy.”

“Oh, God,” Seb mumbled, burying his face into Kimi's chest to hide from the happiness that was about to overwhelm him “You're the best,” he looked up at him again, a huge grin on his face, eyes smiling and shining too.

This time, Kimi almost cried from happiness.