#no dream!colin were hurt

[sancocnutclub]

When you got visit of Dream!Colin and he plays Killian and we all end up in the dongons and whump (a cinema version so like no actual whump was made on dream!colin lol) happen and colin as usual just nails his acting...

[dollypopup]

"Colin had no trauma related to love and self worth like Anthony. Anthony watched his father die, watched his mum turn into a ghost of a person, and didn't want that for his wife"

Bestie. . .they have. . .the same dad???? They have the same mum???? Literally all of the Bridgerton children except Hyacinth watched Edmund die? They all experienced Violet's immense sorrow? He and Violet obviously have a very close connection and so of course he saw her wilting (plant pun, if you were wondering) or at least knew about it and has responded with being particularly gentle with her?

Trauma shaped all the Bridgertons. Colin was a young boy when his dad passed and everyone in the family experienced an immense grief and, unlike his brothers, Colin was twelve, he wasn't the heir, he wasn't the spare, and had no responsibility but to go to school (sent off elsewhere after his dad passed away, thus disconnected from his circle of support and family) and figure out how to be a man from strangers and rakes. Literally no one had space for his grief and sensitivity? He even cries alone in his bedroom in Season 1 and stops talking about his travels after he gets made fun of in Season 2 and claims that hardly anyone replied to his letters in Season 3 like what do you mean he has no trauma related to love?

Colin was right there on the steps watching his father cradled in his mother's arms as she wept over his sudden passing. Of course he has trauma related to love? Colin's entire arc was about how he only felt he could be cared about if he was pleasing the people around him or being useful in some way and putting on a mask and a persona so he wouldn't be hurt by how much no one else wanted the real, messy, authentic him around? His mum and dad lived a love story and Colin watched it fall to pieces just as all the Bridgertons did, he just internalized it differently. His entire family was grieving so he decided to be useful by offering levity where he could, especially as the brother raised predominately with his sisters, Eloise and Daphne.

And yet despite the fact that this was such a huge tragedy of his childhood, Colin still is incredibly emotionally available and as soon as he realized what he felt for Penelope was romantic, he takes initiative and he cuts into her dance with Debling and he chases after her carriage so he can confess that he can't stop thinking about her and he's not at all angry at her, she doesn't vex him, it isn't frustration at her- it's torture because he is so damn besotted with her that he dreams of her and the kiss they shared haunts him but it's torture he embraces because he's a romantic soul who is incredibly emotionally brave and he cares about Penelope more than he cares about his ego or image or past hurts.

Give my man his flowers.

[greeneyessmize]

Debling is not a bad man. He is not a "bad" option. He's forthright, shows attraction to Pen, has interest in her intelligence, and has a sense of humor that compliments her own. Yes, he also has oodles of money and a title.

But, he isn't giving her even the slightest promise to try for love. He's going to be gone 3 years at a time. And Penelope is the richest woman in London, per the books and likely the show as well.

These last three things mean he is also not a good option for Penelope.

She wants love. She is very clear with him about this, both when they discuss romance books and in their final dance. His replies are that he is happy she has a passion for her reading and then that she is beautiful.

While Pen says she values her privacy, what she actually values is her independence. Privacy allows you to keep a secret. Independence allows you to openly be yourself.

Pen. Does. Not. Need. Money. She needs an escape from her overbearing mother and petty sisters. She is choosing to marry in society so that she can still participate in it, and thus continue LW, but she has more than enough money to leave England entirely should she wish.

Colin is entirely in step with Pen as soon as he understands that he loves her. They were already best friends with all the humor, warmth, and affection that comes with that bond. He adores that she is so smart and witty. He is seriously so very attracted to her as evidenced by him going feral not long after their kiss.

He's not going to leave her behind. Even book Colin is very clear, Penelope is his home. And he will not be parted from her willingly. They would travel together, never apart.

He has money of his own, but no title. Penelope doesn't need either of those things as mentioned above. But he is a part of society, which is a nice bonus for her LW work.

Colin loves Penelope with all of his heart and soul. He gave it to her on a platter without her even needing to ask. He just had to know he loved her to give her all of him.

I think it's inevitable that Penelope will have independence to be herself with Colin, too. It's their destiny. Will it be a struggle? Yes. Will it hurt? Undoubtedly. But Colin and Pen are meant to be equals. That is what friends to lovers has to contain. Friends to lovers is balance, harmony, a dance.

Picking between Debling and Colin is like picking between a beautiful maze like mansion with too many rooms where sighs echo off of gorgeous furnishings but is so, so empty and cold and the small cottage that fits just right and is filled with cozy warm fuzzy feelings with a blooming garden outside and an always warm hearth and a sweet little sofa with your favorite comfy blanket and it is always Sunday morning with no chores to do.

Even if Penelope had been presented both options side by side, which she wasn't, she always would have picked Colin. Pen was only picking Debling when she felt to her very bones that Colin was not an option. Then Debling removed himself as an option which made Penelope believe she had no options at all until the carriage scene.

To Pen her choices were: haunted maze mansion or nothing then cottage of her dreams or nothing. Of course she was going to reluctantly accept the mansion over nothing and of course she was going to leap at her dream cottage as soon as she knew it existed.

[quotergirl19]

Overthinking Colin Bridgerton’s thoughts while kissing Penelope:

Their lips touch and Colin experienced what he could only describe as the perfect kiss, and it was with Penelope Featherington.

Penelope, his friend since they were children, who was always warm, kind, witty and clever.

Penelope, who was like part of his family for years and who tried to spare his heart from her own family because she believed in love and knew he did too.

Penelope, who while she was mourning the loss of her father, wrote to him so faithfully and encouraged and made him feel seen in ways he’d never been seen before… who appreciated him so genuinely that she made him want to be the man she saw when she looked at him.

Penelope, who was certain he would find his sense of purpose in the world, because she believed in him so deeply that in her estimation, he was already astonishing and special.

He’d missed her terribly during his latest travels and the thought that she had moved on with her life and didn’t need him effected him so deeply that he needed to blaze through 17 cities seeking constant distraction in women and drinking, always pretending he was just like all those other rakishly cavalier gentlemen who didn’t want or need anyone. Then he found out Penelope had heard him disparaging her and he realized he was the reason she’d abandoned him.

Penelope would never have forsaken him if he hadn’t taken her for granted and now because she’d forgiven him and trusted him to help her, everything had gone wrong. Now she was convinced nobody would ever love her.

Penelope was the best person he knew and the best friend he had ever had, she deserved to be loved deeply and truly. She deserved to feel important and special every day. He wished he could tell her that. He would gladly tell her every day if that made her happy.

Because he wanted, no, he needed her to be happy. Because he cared about her. He always had and he knew that he always would. He had friendly affection for her since they were children, and his mother had always said friendship was the best foundation for love after all. Perhaps in a way, he’d always loved her.

But it was different now… stronger, deeper, and she was so beautiful to him. Everything about Penelope was beautiful. Her smile, her hair, her laugh.

Even now, when he could tell she’d been crying she was undeniably lovely to him and her lips were so soft. He couldn’t have pulled away from her if his life depended on it. He never wanted to stop kissing her. Ever. He’d happily touch her cheek and have her in his arms for the rest of his life.

He would be so lucky to have her by his side. He would love her the way she deserved and she would be such a good wife, a devoted companion and they would laugh and kiss and life would be good. His children would have an excellent mother.

Building a life with Penelope suddenly felt like a dream. Because if he could belong to her and give her his heart and if she gave him even a little bit of her love, Colin knew it would guarantee his happiness forever.

But he could never expect her to return his feelings now. Not when she’d heard him say he’d never court her. Not after he’d so callously humiliated and hurt her. Even in trying to make things right, he’d made things worse and now she was despondent and felt hopeless and alone. He had caused her pain. He didn’t deserve her and he had no one to blame for that but himself.

Their kiss ended and Colin spent the rest of the night and the entire following week looking back on his relationship with Penelope, thinking himself a fool, and hoping that when he closed his eyes at night he’d be lucky enough to have her love him in his dreams.

[myfairstarlight]

Alright, let's talk about Colin's entrapment line and why Penelope offering an annulment was significant, shall we? Arguably the most controversial part of this season, isn't it?

I'm not going to delve too long on the entrapment line again actually, but to summarise, Colin has been traumatised by a similar situation before, and right now, he's hurt. And the thing about being angry with your best friend is that you know what to say to hurt them the most. We see it in Eloise's and Penelope's fight, as they threw each other's insecurities in the other's faces. Colin, two episodes ago, was defending Penelope against Portia, who was accusing her of entrapping him, so yes, his mind will jump to that first. But also note that the whole time he refuses to look at her, because he knows his words are cutting and will hurt and he knows his resolve would break if he looked at her, which is contrasted by Penelope directly looking at him to tell him she loves him and did not mean for this to happen like this. He does not look because he knows she loves him, this is not Marina's situation exactly who only wanted a way out and did not see him as much else than a means to an end, and that's why it's so much more difficult to deal with for him. Penelope loves him.

And he's already almost lost her once, as angry and hurt as he is, he cannot fathom the idea of letting her go, when he remembers how empty he felt without her letters, or at the idea of her with Debling. So he's still here, determined to marry her.

So now we get to e8. The marriage was not technically consummated, and the Lady Whistledown business is finally settled. So Penelope offers the annulment, to set him, and his family, free from her mess.

They never directly address Colin's entrapment comment again, but with Penelope offering the annulment, it is now implied she's been thinking about this the whole time. It is a very real possibility that by that point, Penelope already knew she was pregnant, and it's been speculated if she told Colin in that scene after Francesca's wedding or not (I personally don't think she did, to not add to his guilt at that moment, and perhaps to not influence his decision, knowing she would be offering the annulment soon) and it parallels Marina's situation again, except in this case, Penelope does not wish to trap Colin with a baby, even if it is his. She knows how much Marina impacted Colin, and does not wish to do the same thing she had prevented Marina to do. The best part about this though? Colin is stunned (Edit: I changed the adjective here as someone rightfully pointed out I was exaggerating by saying "flabbergasted" when his reaction is more on the subtle side the English language is the bane of my existence). Frankly, he probably forgot he even said that, the same way he forgot about his "I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington" comment - those were words said in the heat of the moment he never actually believed. Not once has Colin thought of either breaking the engagement, or get an annulment even after the betrayal.

He could have still eloped with Marina even after learning the truth, but he didn't because she was not honest with him from the start. He learns Penelope has been living a double life this whole time, and yet he stays.

It is significant that Penelope listened and acknowledged Colin's point of view, the same way she asked him to simply stand by her side and support her. Also note that she never says "our family", she says "you or your family".

Despite already being married, this whole time, it did not feel like they were, and she knew that as long as there was still this barrier between them, she could never truly be part of that family, but it's alright, she could live with that, she has mended things with her own after all, and she can support herself. Whatever the outcome, she'll be alright, she believes.

Fortunately for her, she does not get to find out what that future would entail because Colin absolutely hates the idea of letting her go.

Because after all, she's a mess, but she's his mess.

[girllookingoutwindow]

People comes and goes. Colin eyes are dancing in the room following her. She is too far away. He wanted to reach her, but she's in the center and he's in the corner. This is her night. So he waits, giving her the moment.

His eyes call for her. Their find each other. She looks at him and his body has his own will and gets closer to her. Where he belongs. He can't stop looking to her.

She is so beautiful that he can't believe that she's real. The night feels like a fantasy tale. She's a butterfly, ehereal and dreamy.

They were so many things in his mind. So many things he wants to say. He's so impressed, so proud of her. Of what she'd done. She's free now. He feels free too. Like some heavy weight has left his body.

it's something different on her, a calming force, a strength in her voice. But it's kind of nature. The softness of it all makes him feel soft too.

She speaks and he can't comprehend the words that came from her mouth. He heard them and they feel they come from the depths of the void. From a different world. A different life. A life he couldn't be more afraid. A life without her.

The strings in his heart that connects to hers press him deeply. His breath hurts. It's water in his eyes. Just one tear could fill an ocean.

She's his family. She always was. It's not home without her.

She's letting him go. He recognises the feeling. He tried to do the same for her before. But it felt wrong. It feels so wrong. He can't let go. He doesn't want to let go of the feeling that her presence makes in his soul.

What he would be, more than the shadows of a man?

She talks about forgiveness. He knows he hurt her. He's not proud of it. They hurt each other. More than they thought they were able to do so or even want it. He was so full of resentment and distrust. But he needed to feel it. To embraced completely to let it go.

He missed her. Even when she was in the same room. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her. He was too proud to let her know.

He can't never be able to be far away from her. She needs to know.

A piece of her heart was in her letters. But her mind was all there too. They were full of her kindness and curiosity. They were so cleaver and full of her humor. She was her real self there. He had the privilege of knowing her like nobody else. He loved her all along.

He needed her. The way they made him feel alive and close to home. He was so lost without his letters.

She made him come back. Her voice always calls him like a siren's song.

He loves Pen, but he loved Whistledown without him knowing all along. He loves both of them. It's the woman he chose to marry, who's in front of him. He doesn't imagine not being her. He doesn't want to. She's the most brave woman he knows.

He was so jealous. Jealous of her success. She made her dreams come true before he knew his. He was jealous of her writing and having to share her with it. He felt so little around her.

She could have the entire world if she wanted to. Why she would chose him? Why she would love him? He never could find a reason. He didn't have anything to give. He wanted to be so worthy of her love.

He can't imagine let that warm feeling go.

He didn't have to find one. What reason has to do with love? Maybe he was just the luckiest man int he world. To love such woman and she loving him back. Lucky that the destiny made her know her. To find each other.

He would do of his love his reason. His purpose. Nothing else, nothing more. He doesn't want nothing more.

He wants his wife. He needs to say it to her. Every day. In every moment he can. He missed her so much.

He wants to makes her smile every day. But he want to be there when she cries, and she's angry with him. When they fight for the most silly things. He wants to be there with her. And dance with her, together, the rest of their lives.

[thataddylady]

So some more musings on Season Three of Bridgerton. One of my favorite aspects of Polin's relationship, as depicted on the show, is Penelope giving Colin so much space and safety to be his emotional, soft-boi self, and I really love it so much.

She says she loves that about him and if you think about it the only person in his life who consistently not only acknowledged that part of him but appreciated it in a way that wasn't predatory or derogatory was Penelope. But it can't be hard to hold that line when those emotions turn against you. When he's not feeling soft and romantic because he's hurt and humiliated and conflicted and doesn't want to make love to you on your wedding night, which you've been dreaming of your whole life.

In those moments, it's easy to switch to "Get over it already, it's not like you were totally innocent either. You talked shit about me too and if you and your dumbass sister listened to me once in a while I wouldn't have needed to do what I did. It's your fault too!" But our girl let him be hurt, conflicted etc and didn't try to shift blame into him or make him feel ashamed to take the pressure off of herself.

I really feel that he was able to find his way back to accepting her and LW because even as the new side of her became apparent, the constant that made him love her never went away. She still treated him with that open and earnest affection and respect. She showed as well as told him that she loved him as he was, even when it didn't make things easy for her.

I just love seeing a strong woman give her man the space to feel whatever he needs to feel so he can continue to be himself and the man she needs. Ok, I'm done.

[ladyamortencia]

This poor girl's mind will not shut the fuck up long enough for her to enjoy anything

This author has another thought to share. I think that it's not that Penelope isn't excited here. Like, of course, she is, she just got finger blasted in her family's carriage engaged to her best friend. It's pure anxiety taking over. She is so used to not being accepted, specifically with her own family and the ton as a whole. For years, she found comfort in the Bridgerton home. She says as much to Colin but makes note to say that it isn't that way anymore. Things changed. Her relationship with Eloise was shattered because of Lady Whistledown. Her expression here conveys the overwhelming anxiety as she goes through every "What if" scenario when they walk into a room with all of Colin's family.

In the first episode of season three, Philipa mentions Penelope's "precious Bridgertons" which is really glossed over. The Bridgertons were Penelope's safe haven. Where she could go to genuinely be herself as she says. They treated her like family when her own family could not care less for her. I'm sure her first thought walking into that house was if they would feel the same way about her being Colin's SO and not just Eloise's friend. Her second thought is probably how it will hurt the Bridgertons' reputation to be associated with her. Her third thought is how Eloise will react. Her fourth thought will be preparing for the fallout and so on and so forth.

I genuinely believe that she does not have a single thought about this going well. Everything is the worst-case scenario because something always goes wrong. This isn't one of her books where she knows that everything will be a happy ending. She has never had a time in her life when involving others has gone well. Lady Whistledown was her creation alone, another reason she doesn't want to share it with anyone. Even still, Lady Whistledown is the reason that Eloise can't even stand to look at Penelope, even though Penelope knows what she did was justified. When she tries to get closer to Colin, he leaves at the end of season one and then says he would never dream of courting her at the end of season 2. Even though it worked out, Colin also technically ruined the only marriage prospect she had because she decided to agree with him in helping. Befriending Marina led to heartache and decisions that she didn't want to have to make. Every time Penelope steps out of her introverted comfort zone, she gets hurt.

Penelope is terrified that as soon as she walks into that room, she will lose the only family she has ever truly valued, because that has been the only possible outcome in her life.

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

In today's "Are we watching the same show?" episode. There is a minority but loud voice complaining that somehow Penelope and Colin's friendship is only told and never showed to us. Say what? S1 and S2 ON SCREEN Colin and Penelope discuss trust, dreams, their aspirations, they banter, dance together and talk about love, even about love. Colin exchange letters with her ( a girl that is not his family member), this a boy and a girl in the 1800s having this connection and he takes what she says to the heart to a point where it's her who inspires him to travel because she said something to him. Colin listens to her talking about her freedom & dreams in S2 in a scene where she makes him feel important and he looks at her with pure and utter admiration and it's there, all there. At the end, as still immature boy with other men around, he denies having interest on her beyond of a friend, with poor choices of words. Then we start S3 and he's upset she is not answering to his letters anymore, when even his family ignores his letters and he used to take it well, he misses her. It happens what we know and confronted with what the hurt he caused her, he apologises and clarifies it was about his own insecurities, not her, never her because she's warm, and clever and someone he admires and wants in his life, because with her he actually feels appreciated, she hears him, knows him, and she also didn't fall for the charm facade. Colin not only says things, he acts on. He tries with actions to make it up for her to give what she wants, even if he actually is not really pleased that she's seeking a husband ( and ofc it's about his own feelings for her here, but i digress) and he goes to teach her that she's wonderful, charming, attractive to any men. As i said before, his lessons is all about Colin telling her how he sees her and OH BOY, he sees her as someone wonderful for he thinks she only needs to be herself to get any husband she wants. So don't even try to say Colin was ashamed of that woman. He seeks her, He flirts with her, he remembers exactly how they met, he never was upset to be with her everywhere. When he thought her cousin was hurting her life ( let's be real, it was for Pen that he was more worried about the Featheringtons), he confronted the man and made sure to tell her he'll always protect her because Pen is special to him. When we grow up with someone, and specially someone younger that we relate in our minds to our baby sibblings it takes some mental adjustment that we even deny and supress some feelings when things start to change, to see them as men and woman take a bit of time, change, maturing and acceptance to feel it's right. Colin breaks every social rule with her because he's so close to her and she feels so much his in a sense that he doesn't see what's wrong in the way he behaves around her - that he doesn't around other women. And when his friend asks him to kiss her, he's reticent because he's afraid of losing her when he clearly is already starting to realize how he actually loves her, and because they are so in tune usually, it messes with his mind that the kiss of realization meant nothing to her, as he perceives. It drives him nuts. Again, we are talking about 1800s young adults, not 2024. Learn what friendship between Men and Women were. If their friendship had taken any further steps, they would have to end up making out in a public fashion and get marry....oh wait....

[polin-erospsyche]

This post was inspired by a comment from an anon in my ask box. They mentioned that if the Queen hadn’t interrupted Polin's wedding, they could have had a beautiful wedding night (if you’re the anon and you’re reading this, hi! And also, I know this isn't everything, but I'll touch on the rest. Small disclaimer: this got long and I’m sorry).

I agree, that could have happened. But honestly, I'm really glad it didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to see it, but I don’t think it would have been good for them. The intimate scenes we did get tell an overarching story and serve a purpose in the narrative. We’ve been told that these intimate moments are a way for them to communicate, so let’s unpack that.

The first intimate scene is about them discovering each other in a new, intimate way, moving from friendship (which had already started to happen in the carriage) to a lover relationship. This moment is crucial for Penelope's story and character development. From this, she grows in confidence and self-awareness. She expresses this to Colin multiple times, such as when she says, “with the confidence you’ve helped me find this year,” and later, “You’ve taught me to hold my own. You have shown me I’m capable of pleasure beyond imagination.”

From that intimate scene onward, Penelope starts to come into her own power and that includes her sexual power. Colin shows her a level of love and care beyond what she ever thought possible, breaking down the belief system she built around herself. She was ready to sacrifice her dreams of being loved and held for financial stability, a mindset ingrained by Portia. Colin helps her see that this doesn’t have to be the case, chipping away at her long-held beliefs.

Let’s now move to the scene in the alleyway, which links back to anon’s comment. Anon suggests that this is the moment they start repairing their relationship post LW reveal. That following this scene they were in a good enough place to enjoy their wedding night if the Queen hadn’t crashed the party. Yes. And no. 

And oh my god how I’ve longed to discuss this scene but I never quite knew how to approach it. At this point in the show, the narrative is like a tightly wound ball of yarn with so many threads to pull at. So, let’s attempt to pull at them. 

First of all, they’ve entered a whole new playing field. And they’ve entered this playing field while being “the oldest of friends really” so they have ammunition against each other. Pen has hurt Colin by lying (hiding the truth from him time and time again) about her identity. She has let him go on and on about his despise of Lady Whistledown. About his dreams of being an author. These were things he told her in intimacy. Those were things he told his best friend and the person he fell in love with. Not the woman who hides behind her column and has done so much wrong to his family and loved ones. 

There is a separation between the two. For Colin, in that alleyway, there is still just Pen his best friend, Penelope the woman he loves and on the other side of that there is Lady Whistledown, the woman he vowed to destroy. He expresses that when he says “so then you do not need Lady Whistledown anymore”. What he fails to realise at this point, and he cannot be blamed for that, is that Lady Whistledown is an integral part of who Penelope Featherington is as a person. That her alter ego is not just a mask she wears but a crucial aspect of her identity, giving her a sense of power and agency in a world that often limits her as a woman. Something that Pen has slowly come to terms with when she says that she no longer needs to hide behind this alter ego but that does not mean there is no value in it, something that she also explains to him after the Queen has crashed their wedding breakfast. 

Now I say that he cannot be blamed for his refusal of recognizing that they are one and the same because he is still holding onto his misbelief, which is that to be loved and to have a value he must protect what he loves and be useful. Part of that is saving and avenging the people he loves from Whistledown. He has given his word to Eloise, to Marina indirectly, to himself and I’m thinking to Pen silently after what she’s written about herself. He finds himself, due to his misbelief, between a rock and a hard place: “the person he vowed to destroy is, in fact, the person he vowed to protect, and there is no separation between the two” (not me directly quoting myself lol). To this you add all the shame over his writing and his envy of her success and you have a recipe for disaster. 

So essentially, in that alleyway you have Pen who is already well along her character arc and Colin who is still gripping onto his original, unchanged self. This represents a power imbalance. What I love throughout this season, and I might write something about this one day, is that Pen and Colin are never quite on the same level both literally and figuratively. There is always one ahead of the other. This, in the long run, is another recipe for disaster because they are never quite equal. That is UNTIL that butterfly ball when they’ve gone through their character arc respectively. That is the moment they fully come together. They become a unit. They are no longer fighting against each other but with each other and for each other. 

But to arrive to this moment they need to do it separately. They need to be able to work on themselves before they can fully be able to work on their marriage. Genevieve says it well “there is no such thing as true love without first embracing your true self”. For Penelope that is becoming Penelope Bridgerton, an amalgam of the best parts of Whistledown and Penelope Featherington. For Colin that is deconstructing his hero complex and fully believing that he is enough just by being exactly who he is. And that has not happened in that alleyway. Truthfully the surface has barely been scraped in that scene because she essentially shuts down his demons for an instant by saying that she loves him. However, the issues remain. 

So yes, we can speculate all we want. If the Queen had not interrupted their wedding, they might have had a wedding night and they might have had a talk about everything afterward. However, the lack of acceptance of their true selves would have driven them up a wall at the next problem, which was how to handle Cressida.

And I think that is why Polin season is actually so beautiful. It is not just about Polin. It is about marriage and how hard it can get, and how you have to work on yourself to fit around the person you love without sacrificing yourself in the process. It is about choosing each other every day, through the ugly as well as the beautiful, through the hard parts as well as the easy ones. It’s choosing to have faith that you’ll work and figure it out without an assurance that it actually will, but if the love is there, then it just might. That is the story they chose to tell through Penelope and Colin.

First gif made by my bestie @polinsated 💕

[krystinaarielle]

This was me on November 23, 2013. I was managing the Grist Mill coffee shop at the Columbus Marriott in Columbus, Georgia. We were supposed to keep the TV's on the news but I found that it was making my shifts depressing so I changed the tv to BBC America and I would watch Doctor Who (and Merlin which counts in this case as Colin Morgan and John Hurt both have characters in DW canon, but I digress).

On the day of the 50th I was scheduled to work and I sat excitedly with customers coming in and out (some sitting to watch me) and watched the 50th anniversary special. Giddy and caffeinated.

It's been 11 years since that day and I can't imagine telling that version of myself that one day she would get to co-host on the BBC's official Doctor Who podcast. My heart is really happy And I hope that you all give it a listen. You'll be listening to a dream come true. 💙💙 #DoctorWho

[dollypopup]

Lady Whistledown is the worst part of Penelope.

Lady Whistledown is not her independence, or her dreams. Lady Whistledown is not Penelope's purpose. Lady Whistledown is her coping mechanism for being unheard and invisible. She repeatedly tries to give it up, and she repeatedly returns to it, as if unable to let it go. Her entire narrative has set her up for realizing she doesn't need Lady Whistledown and that, in fact, for Penelope to live in the light, she has to kill that which keeps her in the shadows.

Penelope not wanting to tell Colin and insisting she doesn't have to is likely because she has already given it up, or she plans to. "I don't have to tell Colin because I'm retiring". What use does she have for Lady Whistledown when she's going to be married and thus cannot stay in hiding anymore? What use does she have for a coping mechanism when she knows she has people who listen to and hear her?

But even still, her not telling Colin is *wrong*. Whether she is retired or otherwise, she is in danger. And the fact that she then continues gallivanting about in the midst of a hunt for her, putting herself, their marriage, her family, and his family in danger, and still insists on not keeping him in the loop?

Polin is meant to be a partnership. That's what a relationship, a good one, is. When Portia tells her that she no longer has dreams, that's wrong, but also. . .Lady Whistledown isn't her dream. Writing, being heard, that's her dream. In fact, her and Colin have the same purpose: to love and be loved, to write and explore and sate curiosity, to be heard and taken seriously.

Colin has been honest with her, and she owes him the same.

Lady Whistledown is the anchor yanking down at her ankles, and she's wrapped her arms around him. If she sinks, he sinks with her. To see people insist that Penelope is not in the wrong for such an action, to purposefully keep the truth from him, and, even worse, to state it is COLIN'S problem to solve. . .that's asinine. And it's toxic.

Penelope has an arc of growth she must undergo, and in traversing it, she commits several harms. This fandom spent YEARS insisting Colin had to grovel and suffer for one statement, and were frankly cruel to people who rejected such an idea. And I don't want Penelope to grovel or suffer, either.

But she owes this man a hell of an apology. She has to see her actions as hurtful. She has to realize and understand that she is no longer alone, and that the mortifying ordeal of being known means she must open herself to unlearning the survival mechanisms she was so accustomed to. Because they weren't good for her. Whistledown made her win, yes, but it also made her cry. Whistledown is power, and that power corrupted. Whistledown is danger, and it is security of funds. Whistledown has served its purpose for her. And now she has to own up to it, and she has to walk into the light. Because to be loved is to be changed.

Colin has been open and vulnerable with her, he showed her all his cards, he was always in her corner and he always owned up to his messes, and he deserves a partner who can do the same with him. Otherwise, the same reasoning Penelope had being so adamant against his marriage to Marina, applies to her as well. Because what of him? What of Colin? She must not do this to a good man.

To love Colin is to choose him. And what people forget is that Colin *is* part of Penelope's dreams. He's not the full scope of those dreams, but he is absolutely a vital part of her fantasies and desires. Lady Whistledown? Lady Whistledown isn't. Lady Whistledown wrecked her relationships, broke her friendships, forced Penelope into corners both literal and metaphorical. Lady Whistledown is the coping mechanism I cannot wait for her to shed. That does not mean Penelope stops writing. That does not mean Penelope 'gives up' her career for a man and sheds herself in marriage to him. It means she can move on, upward, to better.

And let's be very clear here: Penelope is *lucky* that what Eloise wants is honesty and not revenge. She has good, kind people around her. Colin is a warm hearted person, he is the most forgiving of everyone in that entire ton, and all he wants is her truth so he might love her in full.

To deny him, her, them that much- is cruel.

[frost-queen]

Shattered dreams (Reader!sister & Bridgerton Siblings)

Requested by: anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22 @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07,@melsunshine, @goldenmoonbeam, @freyathehuntress

Summary: You are debuted (around Eloise's age) and have met someone in secret. Unaware to any of your brothers. One faithful day they find out that someone is trying to hurt you for 'not listening & not being a good wife to be'. Hearing of this your brothers boil with anger and come to your aid.

The weather was nice, a soft breeze cooling the warming spring season. You took a deep breath, taking it all in. Spring was your favorite season after all. Not too hot, not too cold. Flowers blooming, birds singing and ducks enjoying their ponds. From afar you could already see the lake. Boats set on them to take a tour. Colin noticed your eagerness tapping you on your hand. – “Would you like a tour around the lake sister?” – he asked with a smile. He knew just how much you’d like that.

You formed a smile, holding your hand on his arm. – “Perhaps later.” – you answered. Colin furrowed his brows a bit confused. Why you wanted to wait stunned him. To be fair you wanted to take a tour on the boats, just with that someone special. With Hubert so to speak. You met him a few balls ago. None of your relatives aware of the meeting.

You were absolutely smitten with him. He’d be the one to save you. To care and comfort himself over you till he drew his last breath. You didn’t know why you kept it a secret. Perhaps because the encounter was so secretive and unproper by any standards set up by the ton you perhaps feared it.

Looking around you wondered where he is. Eyes slowly widening when your gaze met with his from afar. Your heart leaped and fluttered. He slightly motioned with his head for you to come and see him. You couldn’t hide the giddy smile on your lips. Slowly removing your arm from around your brother Colin’s. Colin frowned. – “I must ask mama something.”- you lied before he could question your intentions.

He nodded, turning his posture to Benedict and Eloise who were in a deep conversation. Colin over-heard their conversation, sighing loud with an eye roll. They were so headstrong in bickering about nonsense. You made your way over the green fields, keeping a close eye on your siblings behind you. You didn’t want any of them to see where you were heading. Taking several detours between small gatherings, you hoped to blend in and possible disappear from their eye.

The secrecy send a thrill through your body. Excitement bubbling up in your stomach. You gasped, turning sharply around with your back to them after spotting mama with Anthony. They were chatting with Miss Edwina and Lady Danbury. Anthony looking as if he’d rather chew off his own foot then be present any longer. It made you chuckle a bit at the idea.

You moved further, closer to the lake with your back kept towards them. Dipping through a gathering you hoped to blend in. Some ladies gave you a nasty look for suddenly joining in as if you were to eavesdrop or steal their possible suitor from them. You shook your head at them, letting them know that were not your intentions. You moved on nearing the lake. By the lake you looked confused around. Was he not here? Hearing loud a psst made you jump out of your skin. By your left, lurking behind a tree he stood.

You glanced barely over your shoulder before heading over to him. Hubert took you by your hand, pulling you closer to him. – “Miss Y/n.” – he said kissing your hand. You smiled lovestruck and flattered by the gesture. – “I have counted the days till I’d meet you again.” – he whispered. His compliment warmed your heart if he would’ve asked for your hand you would’ve accepted it within a heartbeat. You looked behind you to the lake. – “Shall… shall we go for a tour?” – you asked eager to go round the lake.

Hubert smiled leaving a kiss higher up your arm. You smiled a bit uneasy hoping no one had seen it as it was against standards. – “As the lady pleases.” – Hubert spoke. He offered you his arm as you took it. Hubert and you came in sight, making your way over to the lake. You kept your head down not wanting any of your siblings to recognize you.

You got on the platform. A boat waiting for you to get on. Hubert got in first. You smiled waiting for him to take your hand and help you down when he didn’t. He just sat himself down staring at the other side of the lake. You smiled sheepishly, lifting a bit of your skirt up. Foot dangling in the air, finding balance to set it down. The boat wobbled a bit when your foot touched the boat. – “Hurry up will you.” – Hubert said with a hastened wave. His comment made you stare stunned at him for a brief second.

Without thinking much further about it, you got onto the boat. Hubert took the oars, rowing the boat away. You took a deep breath, enjoying the ride. He rowed the boat further away from the mainland and out of sight. – “Is it not a lovely day My lord?” – you asked to stir up a conversation. His face made a ‘meh’ expression making you regret your question. – “My lord is everything…” – you started wanting to ask about his sudden mood when he stopped rowing. You blinked perplex when he threw the oars to you.

You caught them, staring confused at them. – “My lord… I do not understand…” – you said, looking back up to him. – “I am tired!” – he hissed out. – “Why don’t you row!” – he insisted upon. Your eyes widened at his request. – “Row… my lord?” – you repeated wanting to be sure you understood. – “Yes!” – he called out bothered. – “I spoke clear didn’t I or is your head filled with novelty nonsense?” – he said loudly startling you.

You quickly shook your head. – “Then start rowing.” – he insisted rubbing his shoulder as if it was sore. You nodded obedient with a nervous swallow. You set the oars in the water, giving it a turn. One oar plopped up from the water, splashing the boat a bit. It made you lose your balance a bit, nearly falling forwards. Hubert caught some water, wiping his vest with disgust. – “Apologies My lord.” – you quickly said. – “I shall do my best.” – you set the oar right, giving it another go. After a few failed attempts you found a steady pace to row the boat.

It didn’t took you long to start huffing and puffing at the weight you needed to row. His and yours. To be honest you weren’t that strong compared to Hubert. – “Can you not go a bit faster?” – he spoke with annoyance. You huffed loud, muscles soring up. – “Yes my lord.” – you obliged like a good girl. You started rowing faster and harder, feeling it immediately in your muscles. A pair in another boat raised their eyebrows at you.

Gritting your teeth you pushed through to row the boat around. – “My lord are … you enjoying … the view?” – you asked out of breath. Cheeks flashing with heat from the work-out. He remained silent, haunting the boat ride with it. Clenching your jaw, you felt yourself weaken with rows. Wondering why he was making you do this labor? You felt the wood roughen your palms.

Biting your lip, you tried to keep in any tears. It was so obvious to anyone he was making you do the labor he should be doing. It didn’t even seem to care him. Suddenly the idea of Hubert was very different. From someone you thought would be yours truly, he sure made you do work hard for it. You were slowing down, unable to keep up with it. Your muscles were so sore it used up a lot of effort to even move them. – “Why are you slowing down? Keep it up girl!” – he made clear.

His words stinging like a sharp knife in your heart. Looking up, you blinked rapidly to stop yourself from crying. – “Yes my lord.” – you replied softly. You groaned quietly rowing harder. Putting more work to your labor. Out of breath, you needed to use both hands to push one oar to make the turn. Grabbing the other one once more, you rowed back. – “My lord… are… are you rested well enough?” – you asked hinting to him to take over. He shook his head. Barely lifting a finger in assisting you. Your shoulders slouched with sadness.

Hardening your expression there even boiled some anger towards him. If this was how married life with him would be, you didn’t want it. Him making you do all the work while he enjoys your torture. You kept rowing as the mainland got in view. The colorful tents overtowering the ton. Hearing their laugher carry over with the wind it made you even angrier.

On the mainland looked Anthony briefly up, eyelashes fluttering to be certain it was you he saw on the lake. His eye narrowed trying to focus on you. – “Mama.” – Anthony said without adverting his eyes from you. Violet stopped talking to Lady Danbury, acknowledging her son. – “Is that Y/n on the lake?” – he wondered wanting to be certain. Violet turned her head. – “Why yes she is.” – she answered with smile. – “With a lord.” – she expressed giddy. Anthony’s eyes widened Violet tapped him on the chest.

“Do you know the lord? What is his name?” – she wanted to know. – “I don’t know.” – Anthony replied slightly worried. His eyes widened even more silencing his mother from asking any more questions, seeing you row. His expression hardened with anger. – “He’s making her row!” – he blurted out angered. He looked back, putting his fingers in his mouth to whistle loud. Colin and Benedict looked his way. Anthony called them over with one firm motion of his head. Colin and Benedict didn’t waste another second, hurrying over to his side.

He pointed at you on the lake. – “That little liar.” – Colin cursed out, clenching his hand. Anthony looked confused with a sharp edge to it at him. – “She told me she needed to ask mama a question.” – Colin filled in. – “Clearly she didn’t.” – Anthony bit back bothered. – “Why is she rowing?” – Benedict questioned. – “Shouldn’t he be rowing? Why is he making her do the labor?” – it didn’t sit right with him. – “I’m going to end this.” – Anthony said heading towards the lake. Benedict and Colin hurrying behind him.

On the lake Hubert put you to a stop. You exhaled loud and exhausted. Perhaps a bit too loud. You offered him the oars, smiling at his gratitude of taking over your task. You furrowed your brows when he pushed the oar down. He came closer making you wary. – “What are you acting upon my lord?” – you wondered. He forced himself onto you, making you push him off. It clearly didn’t set with him. – “Do you not love me?” – he asked or rather demanded.

His question baffled you. – “If you want to become a good wife you’ll listen to me!” – he said coming closer again. – “No!” – you called out, battling him away as he tried to force a kiss on you once more. – “I am just showing you my love!” – he yelled getting angry. – “It isn’t love if you force me!” – you yelled back kicking him against the knee. He groaned in pain, holding his knee.

You crawled further up the boat, wondering how you’d get out of this situation. Heck you’d jump out of this boat if it meant escaping him. Hubert rose standing tall. He grabbed you by your arm, yanking on it. – “ A good wife does as she is told.” – he rose his hand ready to strike you.

Anthony was boiling with rage already undoing one shoe of his to jump in the water. Benedict stopped a pair from getting in a boat so they could get in. Colin calling out your name from afar. You gasped seeing his hand go down ready to hurt you. Looking away, you kicked your foot up out of instinct. You felt his chest under your shoe followed by a splash. Opening your eyes, you stared at an empty boat. You crawled over to the other side, looking over the edge. Hubert resurfacing as he spewed out some water. – “Good thing we aren’t married yet!” – you shouted at him.

You grabbed the oars, finding the last bit of strength of yours to row back to shore. Out of breath you reached the platform. Anthony and Benedict hoisted you up from the boat, wrapping their arms around you. – “Where is he? Who is he?” – Benedict called out angered. You cried against your brothers chest. – “I am sorry… I thought he was the one, but he is not. He was so commanding all of the sudden. Making me row, the silence, the insults…” – you cried out.

Anthony hugged you tighter. Hubert swam to the platform as Colin stepped away to let him get up on it. – “Look what you did!” – he shouted with a stern finger at you. Benedict puffed his chest up. He pushed Hubert hard, sending him back into the water. – “If I see you near my sister one more time I’ll make you scream for mercy!” – Benedict threatened.

Anthony handed you over to Colin who comforted you. Hubert came climbing up the platform once more, chest laying on the edge ready to push himself up. Anthony lowered himself smiling angrily. He pushed Hubert back by his forehead, sending him back down.

“You are lucky there are witnesses or I wouldn’t be so well-mannered!” – Anthony called out. Hubert staid in the water afraid to get out and be plunged back by any of your brothers. Your brothers and you left returning to mama. – “Thank you.” – you told them. – “Family is always a priority. First and upmost.” – Anthony answered.  

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[greeneyessmize]

So, about Marina.

We need to talk this out. Let's go through her journey step by step.

Upon arrival, Marina thinks she may just be waiting on letters from George so they can run away together but she is losing hope. Then she realizes she is definitely pregnant. Then come the fake letters.

Desperation and survival instinct start to gnaw at her. She is looking out for not only herself. She does try to change that but fails, and accepts that the pregnancy is going forward.

So she decides to make the best of it and find a husband as soon as possible. Preferably a nice, naive, young man with decent enough money.

She has several, and I do mean several suitors, she could choose from. But she settles on Colin Bridgerton and his sweet puppy dog innocence.

She knows Pen is fond of him, but she blocks it out. She doesn't care. She focuses on Colin. The easy low, ripe hanging fruit. Who wouldn't?

Then she realizes Pen actually loves him. This will not stop her. She will stamp out this crush to ash if she has to. She's betting her life on this. Pen means nothing to her here.

She is not in this for love. Love betrayed her and put her in this mess. She wants an easy marriage with no uncomfortable questions. Right and wrong don't matter because she has already had wrong done to her.

Now Colin.

He's a young man. Hopeful, bright eyed, romantic, inexperienced.

He participates in the marriage mart because some of it is fun. There is not too much pressure on him as a 3rd son. He gets to dance and flirt, and chat with Pen. How is that not delightful?

Then along comes Marina. She is a glittery new addition to the ladies he has mostly seen here or there all his life. And everyone is interested in the shiny new toy.

Then she shows interest in him. She flirts with him. When she could seemingly have almost anyone, she lets her eyes brighten for him.

He is easily charmed. Marina, for all he and the other boys of the ton can tell, is an attractive young woman. When she decides to show him singular attention he believes it is love and his easygoing heart wants to return that, being a genuine and open person.

He is easily manipulated into an engagement, thinking that this is natural and right. But his passion never really shows, does it? He pulls back from kissing her when she is scandalously forward with him. He does not seek extra excuses to meet her in the market or at tea or at the garden entrance to the Featherington estate for example.

No. He just insists he is a gentleman.

Then he drops her as soon as her manipulations are revealed. He is angry. He is hurt. But it's like a betrayal of a new friend, not a truly wounded heart. A passionately in love man would try to justify her actions or find a way to get past this. But he just lets it drop and goes traveling to soothe his bruised ego.

Then, there is Penelope.

Sweet, shy Pen.

She is so happy to have a friend in her very own home who is kind to her. It seems like a dream come true at first. She says lovely things about Marina in LW.

Then she realizes Colin is truly interested in Marina. She hates it, but doesn't fight it at first. Penelope has already in many ways given up on Colin ever looking at her the way he looks at Marina. So she bites her tongue. She doesn't discourage the two from becoming closer, but she is not doing much to stop it either.

Then she finds out Marina's secret. She learns about George and cake and that Marina must marry in one way or another. Pen wants to help. She really does.

But she just can't stand that Marina would trick Colin. Her love for Marina is enough to ignore her tricking anyone else. Her love for Colin is so much that she wants him to be happy any way possible.

And she knows figuring out the first child is not his and then duplicity of Marina's affections would not make Colin Bridgerton happy. Unlike most men in the Ton, he knows what love is. His parents were a love match. He would understand eventually that Marina was just placating him whenever he engaged with her emotionally.

So. Having appealed to both Marina, who crushed her heart into bits efficiently, and Colin, who metaphorically ruffled her hair and told her to run along... what options were left to Pen?

Directly tell someone like her mother? She already knew and approved. Violet? Well isn't that terrifying to a shy young woman who still wants Colin's friendship? Eloise? Too mercurial, she might support the match or at least loudmouth that it was Pen who told her. Again potentially ending her friendship with Colin.

Remember, her friendship with Marina was already over, Marina just did not know it yet. You can't brutally crush someone's most treasured, secret desire (realistic or not) and have them continue to love you like nothing happened.

So, Pen uses her last resort when she learns of the pending elopement. The one thing she can do to save Colin from unhappiness and to keep her one small shred of her own happiness: being Colin's friend. She revealed Marina's secrets to the Ton.

Did this maximize damage to Marina? Yes. Did it also damage Colin? Fractionally, both compared to what was dealt to Marina and compared to the damage he would have suffered in a marriage where Marina came to merely tolerate him. (As evidenced by her entire unamusement at his olive oil joke in Season 2.)

Don't forget that Penelope also hurt herself in this. You don't sob in your best friend's arms in celebration. She broke a part of herself to do this to Marina and to Colin. She probably doubted every second of everything and a part of her always will. Her price was not public, it was not outwardly devastating, but she took damage too.

----------

In conclusion, Marina and Penelope were both some level of wrong and Colin was the blind fool in the middle. The flavors of wrong were very different, and so were the levels of damningness.

In their own ways, I can forgive each of them. Admittedly, I forgive Pen more. But that has to do with my life experiences. Former wallflower here, married to a man who is now her best friend. I have never gotten pregnant and been abandoned (though being dead is hardly George's fault here). But I can understand how desperate, how calculating that could have made me, at least in that era. Especially with people like Portia Featherington as your primary caretaker and maternal figure.

I really hope that Pen and Marina both get a chance a chance to gain closure over this peacably before Marina dies. I don't think Pen deserves to feel guilt over Marina's death. Especially as book Marina seemed to have severe depression and well, Marina is likely to have depression too considering her loss of George.

Now, if part 2 of Season 3 could just be here already, that would be absolutely lovely!

[quotergirl19]

Francesca seems to have been upset or made uncomfortable by Lord Fife & the men he’s speaking to, and that’s why she was looking for a private moment away from them.

Knowing Fife, they were probably disparaging women or talking about them like they were merely decorative property. It’s possible they were even talking about Penelope Featherington and how Colin mocked her. We know his comments must come back to haunt him so this would be the perfect opportunity for his sister to hear about what he said and comment on how saying that was hurting her prospects this season.

You can notice Lord Debling is near Francesca when she sits under the tree here:

There room appears to have both summer and fall decor with Kate under an Autumn apple tree forest side and Penelope on the summer garden side.

Note the Greek key pattern on the dance floor and remember that A Midsummer Night’s Dream is based in an Athenian court and forest.

Penelope is wearing the same dress from the, “Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton,” clip we saw which took place in front of Danbury house. So this is likely taking place at Lady Danbury’s ball, the first ball of the season and its theme may be Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream.

[doomed2repeat]

At first I thought that moment during the mirror scene where Colin pulls back and tells Pen to stop him if she doesn’t want to go further was just important because the show is taking consent more seriously since messing it up in S1.

Bridgerton Spoilers Below:

But now I realize it’s important context that people are missing out on when it comes to the “planned entrapment” moment later when he’s upset.

I keep seeing people mad at him for saying that, and yeah it seems harsh until you really think of Colin’s pov. Here’s a guy who has already been caught up in an entrapment scheme, who’s felt the embarrassment of that once already, who found love with someone who made him want to tear off his armor and be himself and be wholly open and vulnerable with her, and he gives himself to her. He checks in with her every step of the way, because his biggest desire- his literal dream fantasy- is to feel that Penelope is on the same level as him, that everything is reciprocal. He waits for her to say she wants him back and to nod in the carriage, he waits for her to say yes keep going in the mirror, he asks her if she’s ready for the next step even when he’s literally naked and on top of her.

He gave Penelope multiple opportunities to stop him and he always backed off and respected her wishes when he did feel like he was overstepping her boundaries. He senses something is wrong with Penelope at different points post-carriage scene, and even checks in with her about that, afraid that he’s moving too fast for her and that she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings and just got carried away and doesn’t want him back. Penelope had chances to tell him herself and did not.

And then he finds out that the openness he felt with her was not reciprocated. That she’d been holding back and keeping secrets. That she didn’t trust him with all of her the way he trusted her with all of him. And because Pen didn’t tell him herself he has no way of knowing if she ever planned on telling him. She could’ve told him before she published a Whistledown column saying they were engaged. She could’ve stopped him before they had sex. She could’ve pulled him aside the same time she pulled Eloise aside when they panicked about Cressida (right before he caught her), to finally bring Colin into a situation that was rapidly spiraling out of control. She could’ve written Colin a letter since writing connects them, and she might’ve been able to express herself fuller on paper. Penelope made a huge mistake - can we just admit that sometimes Penelope’s problems are caused by Penelope’s actions? - and Colin felt betrayed by it. He realized this was weighing over them the whole time, and it hurts. It triggers everything in Colin that makes him feel useless, naive, foolish- all of his insecurities since he got tricked and then called a childish boy who needs to wake up back in S1/S2- and this time at the hands of the one person who he loves more than anyone else in the world. And who he STILL loves, which is why it hurts him so bad to think that she thought she couldn’t be honest with him.

So of course his mind went there, to entrapment. Is it nice? No, but neither is writing an article belittling Colin so all of society could read it which is something Penelope did in the heat of the moment because she was upset with Colin. To see this as Penelope AND Colin’s story (which it is) it’s important to not dismiss Colin’s POV and to have empathy for it. He’s not the bad guy. And Penelope isn’t the bad girl. They’re both just kind of messy, imperfect people. Literally almost- She’s his mess and he’s the imperfect man of her heart. Soulmates.