#no dental work is fun but I have to say this has been one of the shittier experiences I've had

[kris-mage-fics]

Ugh, the saga of the tooth continues, at least hopefully for the better after getting a lot worse again on Monday. Also, sorry to the folks I haven't responded to, this situation has really worn me out, and I didn't have many spoons to begin with. (More under the cut, nothing really descriptive about dental work, but just to be on the safe side. Also, I have a wee rant about how frustrating and draining this has been.)

So I had the root canal on the 1st (a week ago) and by Saturday felt a lot better, there was hardly any pain. It was a smidge worse on Sunday, then Monday it hurt so fucking much when I woke up. I went into see the dentist about it yesterday, and she said it's probably because it was the first tooth that had contact when I bit down. Apparently the little ligament that holds the tooth in place swells after a lot of work, which pushes the tooth up or down (depending on which jaw it's in). She ground down the bridge on that tooth just enough that it doesn't hit the bottom teeth with a normal bite and told me it should feel better soon. Sure enough today there's a lot less pain. (Gods I hope that was the problem, because the dentist said otherwise the tooth had a fourth root she didn't find and she's going to have to go back in there to find it. I don't relish that thought.) I'm just so, so tired. It's been over two weeks since it really started hurting, and I want to sleep for a week. Also my brain has been absolute mush because of the pain, which is super annoying. Especially because there's something I've been meaning to do for a friend, but haven't been up to it. And I wanted to start a little writing challenge for myself this month, but I can't write for the life of me. *sigh* It will pass.

[al-the-remix]

BuckTommy Positivity Week Day 1/3 : what they love most about each other/meeting the friends and family

Slowly making my way through the @bucktommypositivityweek prompts! I'm not normally a big fan of shovel talks, but I thought Tommy deserved his own moment where his friends show up for him and have his back (and so does his boyfriend).

The bar was pretty much exactly like Buck expected it to be: plastered with an assorted collection of knick-knacks, military plaques, and wall art that Buck will just call inspired–fighting each other for wallspace all the way up to the low T-bar ceiling. The main source of light came from the ionized glow of the neon beer signs and the stained glass fixtures over the billiards tables that looked like they hadn’t been updated since the 70s. Buck was pretty sure he’d spotted at least three fire code violations just walking through the doors–but that wasn’t what tonight was about. 

A small section tucked between the fleet of pool tables and the dart boards had been reserved for their party, and from his spot at the bar Buck had a clear view of where Tommy was leaning against his pool cue, his posture the most relaxed it’s been since they’d hit Grand Junction as he laughed with the group of men gathered around him. 

Buck couldn’t help but smile. The longer they’d driven, the more tense Tommy had become, and Buck had begun to worry that maybe this hadn’t been such a great idea after all. Now he felt like he could finally breathe; they’d booked it up the 15 and onto the 70 on the way here, and Buck was looking forward to taking their time on the way home, finding the scenic routes and exploring the one road towns and tacky tourist traps they stumbled across. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken a week off work that hadn’t been the result of a near-fatal injury. 

“You know you’re the only person he’s ever brought to one of these,” came a voice to his right, one that Buck had only recently become familiar with. 

With great pain, Buck drew his attention away from Tommy to the person settling in at the bar beside him. Dave. He was the only one of the guys here that had been with Tommy since Fort Irwin. He had a wife and two daughters and a boxer named Jones–all information Buck had learned, not from the man himself, but during their three day drive from L.A. to Colorado Springs–which Tommy had used to give Buck a rundown on pretty much everything he knew about his old battalion mates from their rank down to their dental records.

“I’m happy to be here,” Buck said, meaning it. He hadn’t been expecting an invitation, taken completely off guard when Tommy had asked him so casually, as they got ready to head out for work one morning. He’d presented it like it would just be a good excuse for a fun road trip and not what Buck was starting to piece together in his head was actually a monumental gesture. Either way, he’d agreed immediately.

Dave was watching him like he was trying his best to punch through Buck’s skull and peer directly into his brain. Buck had a feeling Dave hadn’t really made up his mind about Buck–yet–and if there was one thing he was going to change by the end of the night it was that.

“Tom said you’re also a firefighter.”

Buck twisted in his chair so they were facing each other. “Yeah, actually I’m at Tommy’s old station, transferred in not long after he left. Kind of funny how things work out, eh?”

“I’ve heard stories,” Dave said in a tone that implied not all of them were good. 

“It’s not like that anymore,” Buck assured. Gerard’s second reign of the 118 had been over for a while now and Buck had been informed by Hen and Chimney that although it had been unbearable, with more eyes on him, Gerard had not been nearly as bad as the first time around. 

“I’ve heard that too.” The corner of Dave’s mouth ticked up. That was the most charitable he’d been thus far. “Tommy has a lot of good things to say about the new crew there, especially you.”

Buck wasn’t above preening a little at that. He knew all about bragging about his partner to anyone that would listen. He was practically a pro at it at this point. If anything he and Tommy had a little competition going on at this point. 

Dave’s eyes flicked over Buck’s shoulder and back. “Listen, I don’t want to overstep here because Tommy will be fuckin’ pissed at me, and I’ll never hear the end of it–but, you seem like a nice guy, and I just want to make sure you know what a big deal this is. These shindigs used to host a few more bodies before Tommy came out. Just don’t hurt him.”

He could hear Tommy’s laugh, the full-bodied, knee-slapping one he only did when you really got him cracking up or he was about three pints in, or both, floating over the din of the bar. Buck could pick that laugh out of any crowd. He could follow it home.

Dave was watching him with a curious expression, and maybe Buck hadn’t totally won him over yet, but he had a feeling they were at least moving in the right direction.

 “I won’t. And I–I won't let him know you gave me the shovel talk if you rat me out either, because he doesn't know this yet and I want him to hear it from me first, but Tommy's one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He's one of the first people I've been with in a long time that makes me feel like I can be myself, unconditionally, and I just hope I make him feel the same way, because I love him.”

“I think it’s safe to say he does.” The corner of Dave’s mouth twitched up in the amused beginning of a smile. “But you should probably let him know that instead of me, just saying.”

Buck rolled his eyes as Dave clapped him cordially on the shoulder. It looked like he wasn’t off the hot seat yet. 

He held out his glass and was pleased when Dave clinked them together. It was progress. 

///

It was 1 am when they finally made it back to their motel, the latest Buck had been out in a good long while. He’d taken the keys from Tommy before they’d even left for the evening and now he was swooping around the cab of the truck to catch his boyfriend as he nearly tumbled out of the passenger side door. 

“Easy there,” Buck said as he tried his best to steady Tommy on his own two feet, a task more difficult than it sounded. 

“I think I lost my keys,” Tommy moaned as Buck grabbed his jacket and locked up. 

“No, see I’ve got them right here.” He jangled them in Tommy’s face and watched him grin before slipping them into his own pocket. “Don’t worry I’ll give them back to you later, here let me help you out.”

He slipped his arm around Tommy’s waist, pulling him a little tighter against his side than was probably necessary.

Tommy’s clutched at his shoulder, melting against him. “You’re so nice to me.” 

“What else would I be?” Buck chuckled as he steered Tommy towards their room. He was just glad that Tommy was a placid, happy drunk–if a little handsy. “Come on big guy, let’s get you to bed.”

It was a struggle to get the door unlocked and Tommy through it with two-hundred odd pounds of boyfriend hanging off him, trying to worm his fingers under Buck’s shirt and breathing hot and damp against the juncture of his neck.  

When they finally stumbled inside Tommy starfished onto the bed, the poor old motel mattress groaning in protest beneath his weight. 

At least he looked like he wasn’t about to try and get up any time soon. 

The soft hum of the window AC unit filled the room, a pleasant contrast to the guitar riffs of the hair bands the bar had played all night. Buck filled up two cups of water, leaving one on his bedside table before settling down on the mattress beside Tommy and nudging him until he sat up. 

“Here, drink this,” he said and helped Tommy tilt the glass up to his mouth without spilling it all over himself. 

Tommy was pawing at him as soon as Evan’s hands were free. “Evan, Evan–” he said, reaching out to grip Buck’s face with both hands, pulling him closer. The special smile Buck was beginning to learn was just for him, creasing his face. “You wanna hear a secret?”

“Of course, anything,” Buck said, letting himself be manhandled and feeling real goopy and affectionate about it. 

“I love you,” Tommy said, with a lot of eye contact and the sort of drunken earnesty that made Buck’s heart just about trip out of his chest. Then Tommy frowned, his gaze going unfocused. “I’m going to be really sad if we break up.”

Buck allowed himself a chuckle at the sudden, unwarranted disappointment in Tommy’s expression. “Me too, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.” 

“Really?” Tommy asked, perking up.

“Really. I love you too, and I’m going to remind you of that tomorrow when you forget all of this in the morning.”

“I won’t forget,” Tommy insisted. 

“Okay, whatever you say, boss.”

Buck went to the bathroom to hit the head and brush his teeth and by the time he returned Tommy had managed to wrestle out of his shoes and his pants, still spread out across the covers in his shirt and socks like a massive toddler. Buck shook his head, ditching his own shirt. Tommy reached out, making grabby hands at him as Buck kicked off his jeans and crawled under the sheets beside him. He was instantly wrapped in an only slightly sticky bear hug. 

He pressed a kiss to the cowlick at the top of Tommy’s head. “You’ve got some pretty great friends.”

With more awareness than Buck expected in his current state, Tommy said: “I hope Dave didn’t bother you too much tonight, I could tell he was giving you the third degree for a bit there.” 

“Dave and I are cool,” Buck assured. “I’m glad you have guys from back then who’ve still got your back.”

Tommy went quiet for a bit after that and Buck was just figuring out how he was going to wiggle out from beneath his boyfriend without waking him to turn off the lights when Tommy muttered, “I’m glad you came with me. I was tired of coming to these by myself.”

“Any time you want, I’ve got your back too you know,” Buck whispered, holding Tommy tight in the cradle of his arms. 

“I know,” Tommy said, and Buck fell asleep to the thump of Tommy’s heartbeat pressed against his own. 

[wonryllis]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖𝐒 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐒

𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

ׅ ꢾ꣒ find the MASTERLIST here.

PREVIEW. you always get what you want, spoiled with the love of everyone around you. and it's all innocent love, at least that's what everyone thinks. it comes with much surprise therefore, when heeseung makes a move on you. thirteen long years of being in the brother zone having made him utterly clueless that if he’s going to date you he has to pass through your actual brothers first. and he knows how scary they can be. especially since they are known to have a sister complex and he’s been the third scary one with them, numerous times before.

𝐈 check out the PROFILES.

PLS READ THE CONTENT BELOW ALL THE CHARACTER INFO IS LISTED IN JUST THIS ONE POST !

𝐈𝐈 tune in to the CHARACTER INTERVIEWS ( given by the characters themselves ! )

CHOI YN 20 ( fashion ), well what do i say? hello everyone i'm choi yn! im sure everyone knows me already ^^ .. what else do i say? hmm i love my life a lot! i love my brothers and heeseung and wonie so much, they are the closest people in my life! oh shit sorry riki too hehe oops. college has been fun since im doing exactly what i wanted and it's fun to hangout with won all the time. seungie brings me snacks all the time and binnie lets me eat cakes everyday even though junnie has scolded them not to cause i easily get dental problems and then he has to convince be to go to the dentist, eww.

LEE HEESEUNG 23 ( film ), if you ever stop hearing from me, please know that my day has come and i have chosen to be exposed. as much as jun and soobs love me, and as much as they love tiny(my yn, she's just real cute) if i ever dare speak of that kind of love with tiny in the same sentence it's my last moment on earth. jay and taehyun help a lot and i'd give everything to thank them for it but man they still haven't been able to actually help me get with yn?

CHOI SOOBIN 24 ( law school ), yes my sister is my everything, each one of her wishes no matter how stupid and idiotic they are, must be fulfilled. i think i was like ten when ynie said being a lawyer would be so cool, and it's been my life's motto now. law school kicks my ass yeah but whenever i think of how happy she'd be to see me as a badass lawyer it feels like nothing. i could easily help her win the divorce that's a plus point, i think i should start looking into divorce attorney things.

CHOI YEONJUN 25 ( model ), i swear scaring away my baby sister's admirers is one of my full time jobs besides runaway modelling but alas she is my sister of course she's a beauty. i know she will date and marry a motherfucking guy one day, and i won't be able to stop it but i hope that day takes the longest time to come. she was one of the first ones to say how good my dressing style was, if it wasnt for her i would not be one of the rising faces in the fashion scene today.

PARK JAY 22 ( music production ), being lee heeseung's childhood friend has been my life's greatest downfall. and being his emergency contact number one is probably the biggest mistake of my life. it's so so so infuriating to see him do nothing and panic over the fact that some might sweep her off her feet right before his eyes like fucker you gotta sweep her off her feet rather than worrying over how someone else might sweep her off her feet. taehyun probably understands me.

SIM JAKE 22 ( physics ), it's fun, so so fun i can not express it verbally man, 'm having a blast! there's so many new things to learn i am so happy with my major and my astronomy club thing is going so well too, it's been amazing so far. the only thing i dont like is my mates ignoring me, like i tell them about all these quantum mechanics things and how it's works like it's legit the coolest thing ever and they don't wanna listen me and then come to me for help with assignments like dude? there's no give and take here and it's not high school anymore? but i do it cause im nice :)

PARK SUNGHOON 22 ( communications ), first of all i gotta thank my man taehyun for letting me copy off of him to pass my semesters so far. as a full time commercial and photoshoot model, college is just a side quest for me at this point, just need an arm candy degree to show that i am infact educated contrary to what people think. oh and i'd like to tell this, don't tell anyone, i actually know all the drama going on and it's so funny but i gotta stay low if i wanna be safe. sometimes i do think of stirring things up but yeonjun man he scares me, i better be on his good side.

KIM SUNOO 21 ( journalism ), for real god am i the only one working my ass off here cause why the hell all these dicks be fucking up their lives and copying off people to survive like? look at me, every little gossip on campus and you know who to go to get the full info! exactly how it should be for a journalism major. i swear i am doing all the shit ass work here. i admit i slip sometimes especially with heeseung's secret in front of god forbidden yn but 'm just a human, and humans make mistakes yk? and please tell kai to fuck off please, thank you.

YANG JUNGWON 20 ( fashion ), it's a different feeling when three guys trust you with their precious sister. and it's a different feeling when that precious real spoiled girl treats you like the best buddy she could ever have. but it's not so fortunate when you gotta dash to protect anytime the brothers ping you, it's like a national secret agency part time job and it's the hardest thing when the target is someone like yn. i treasure her a lot, as a friend! yes, yet the times when her brothers get jealous of me are some of the most nerve wrecking times.

NISHIMURA RIKI 20 ( photography ), are we surprised here? no wtf have y'all not seen the pics i post on my twt like i got talent you have to accept it. especially a lot of talent in gaming and luck, my luck be through the roofff. just started lol a year ago and my YouTube Chanel six months ago and im already almost a diamond and about to hit a million subscribers.. talk about god's favorite! ha that's me. but the thing is more than that i wanna be yn's favorite like i know she says won and i are same but i know that kitty is closer. for now i like being glued to yn, but after figuring out things so easily it's hard to keep quiet.

CHOI BEOMGYU 23 ( film ), with the amount of hate train behind me it's a miracle i am still breathing and in one piece. praying all this ends quickly and my life is returned back to me or i'll go crazy it has been like what two? three? years already! i need my freedom. i can count and name with my fingers the people who hate me. actually no it's everyone. anyways, i share all classes with heeseung and lord is it the scariest part of my life. at least yeonjun and soobin would need time to hunt me down but lee heeseung? he's right behind me two rows, staring down my every movement. look it's not my fault okay?

KANG TAEHYUN 22 ( communications ), it wasn't consensual. it is very important to clear this up. i did not give my papers to park sunghoon by choice. he had to pay me hefty for that so there's no thank you man, dude is pretending. and i am fucking sick of covering for heeseung all the time like dude grow balls, real balls dig up some manly guts and fucking do it before i lose patience and fuck shit up. every moment of listening to him lamenting over his feelings is the most frustrating shit ever. make him hear this one for god's fucking sake.

HUENING KAI 22 ( journalism ), no matter how much everyone denies it, i know they won't survive a day without me like? i provide sunoo with all the gossip of our side? how else do you think heeseung sneaks around yeonbin with his feelings? god it's me i do the passing the parcel of info. i mean taehyun is also involved with them but then i am more useful than that reality check of a guy, i mean who needs reality when you can live in a fantasy! hehe i just outdid everyone with that! or not anyway moving on yn's cr— SUNOO: shut the fuck up bitch!

𝐈𝐈𝐈 learn about THE GROUPCHATS.

01. HEEYN TRUTHERS heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, taehyun and sunoo: the group that has been supporting heeseung in pursuing his feelings since he first revealed it to them. for whenever he fucks up and they have to discuss how to save his ass. normal chats happen too.

02. BOSS BABIES yn, jungwon, riki: the trio that has been friends since middle school, and sticks together. yn spends most of her time with them, that is in college. often goes out to hangout and these two are yn's only actual friends!

03. SHOOTERZ 4 YN yeonjun, soobin, heeseung and jungwon: they use this chat to text each other whenever someone upsets yn or she's going somewhere alone and they need jungwon to secretly tag along to give them updates later.

04. PRINCESS & HER KNIGHTZ yn, yeonjun, soobin and heeseung: the main stars— spoiled baby and her overprotective boys. usually text her when it has to do something with the four of them, like when yn goes out or she needs someone to pick her up or accompany her or when they have dinner at each other's place and someone's missing and likewise.

05. PSYCHOS W/ SICKOS yeonjun, soobin, beomgyu, taehyun, huening kai and heeseung: well this is heeseung's other friend group with the yn brothers' friends that become his own after a while. this is yeonbin dominated friend group chat and beomgyu is main character lmao

START THE STORY — prologue 𓈒 ‎𓈒 ‎𓈒

TAGLIST . ( OPEN ) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @aaa-sia @snoopypupp @criminalyun @oddracha @satan-223 @diorsyun @hooniehon @fakeuwus @caramelcandescence @intromortal @kookify @yutasberryy @sumzysworld @nikiswifiee @shuichi-sama @primroselover @rayofsunshineeee @aishigrey @yjwluvs @soraokkotsu @nyfwyeonjun @srhnyx @trashx678 @wondipity @winuvs @hoondiors @niniissus @firstclassjaylee @biancaness send an ask to be added! (if your comment goes unnoticed it is not my responsibility)

[reputationmunson]

The Stars Align | Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Summary: Your hopeless crush on Eddie Munson might not be so hopeless after all thanks to a trip to family video

Content: fluff, Steve has a little crush on you but you’re into eddie, swearing, making out, mentions of bullying, she/her pronouns, reader is a year younger than Eddie

Word Count: 3.1K

a/n: i haven’t posted a fic in so long i’m so happy i was actually able to finish something! i hope you all enjoy :)

divider by @firefly-in-darkness

_

“Oh my god, Robin, she’s here! How does my hair look?” Steve asks frantically as he sees your car pull into family video. “Who is it this week?” She sighs, growing tired of seeing Steve strike out again and again.

“You already know who it is. I’ve been using my best work for weeks and…nothing” he groans. “Really? Telling her about the time you had a dental emergency due to milk duds is your best work?” 

Before Steve can respond, the bell above the door rings and you walk in, looking as pretty as ever.

“H-hey! Haven’t seen you in a while. I hope you aren’t cheating on us with blockbuster” Steve says when you approach the counter and Robin cringes so much that she has to walk away. 

“Nope” you say with a laugh “I’ve just been busy, but I finally have a night to myself. Can you check if you have a movie for me?” 

“yeah, anything for you- I mean, um anything for a loyal customer not like I’d do anything for you. Well, I might, but not in a weird way-” 

“Steve” you chuckle “I didn’t think it was anything weird. Until now” 

“Right, yeah. Sorry. Anyways, what movie are ya lookin’ for?” He sits at the computer to pull up the movies on file. “Nightmare on Elm Street”

“Actually, my friend, Eddie, rented that yesterday, but I can see if he’s watched it yet so he can bring it back for you?” he suggests

“Eddie munson? You’re friends with him?” 

“Oh, yeah, but don’t worry he doesn’t actually worship the devil he’s just like this huge nerd with a weird taste in music”

“No, I know. I just, uh, think he’s really cute”

“Oh” he says in a bit of disbelief. he’s been trying to ask you out for weeks and this whole time you’ve had the hots for Eddie. “You think he’s cute?” Robin asks, appearing out of nowhere with a big smile on her face. 

“y-yeah. there’s something about the big brown eyes and long hair, i guess” you sigh, dreamily while Steve thinks hey, i’m a guy with brown eyes and a lot of hair.

“Ya know what, feel free to look around and we’ll take care of something real quick” Robin says and you wander off to the horror section. 

“Call Eddie” She tells Steve. 

“What? Why?”

“This is fate, Steve. She wants to rent the same movie Eddie just rented and she also happens to be, like, totally in love with him” She states and he rolls his eyes. “In love, Robin? She said he was cute because he has eyes and hair.”

“Aw, you’re jealous.” she teases. “Well, kinda. I wanted to ask her out and I haven’t had any luck in months with anyone.” Steve whines

“Think about it. Do you really wanna ask a girl out who’s into one of your closest friends? That’s obviously a recipe for disaster, so call him” Robin says and Steve groans. He hates when she’s right, but he picks up the phone and dials anyway. 

“Hey, munson. Have you watched Nightmare on Elm Street yet?”

“I got it yesterday, Steve, what’s the rush?”

“There’s a pretty girl here who wants to rent it”

“And what do I have to do with that?” Eddie asks, thinking Steve is just trying to use his ‘position of power’ (Steve’s words, literally no one else's) to try and impress any cute girl that walks through the door. 

“Well, somehow the universe keeps finding ways to laugh at me because when I told her my friend Eddie has it she said you were cute or something” you can overhear Steve and you could die of embarrassment. You had flashbacks to middle school when your best friend told your crush that you liked him and he made fun of you for the rest of the school year. 

“I am cute, Harrington and you know it. Who is she?” 

Steve tells him your name and Eddie's heart practically stops for a second. He can’t believe the pretty girl he’s had a crush on for years thinks he’s cute. 

“I’ll be right there” Eddie says before hanging up and sprinting out the door with Nightmare on Elm Street in hand. 

“Welcome to Fam- Oh, it’s just you. She’s in the horror section” Steve grumbles when Eddie walks in. “Why do you have that look on your face?” Eddie asks Robin. Her eyes are big, smile even bigger with a hint of her ‘I just came up with a master plan’ look. “No reason, just go find your girl”

Eddie strolls over to find you and you look as gorgeous as always. You’re wearing a dress that stops halfway down your thighs, leaving your beautiful legs exposed, your lips shimmer from the gloss you put on, and you have an adorable look of concentration on your face as you look through the movie selection.

“Hey, you must be the pretty girl who’s just dying to watch this movie” He finally speaks up after admiring you. You turn to him and smile “you brought this back for me? you didn’t have to do that. did you at least get a chance to watch it?” You walk closer to him and the smell of your perfume makes him crazy. Everything about you just gets better and better.

“No, but it’s alright. I saw it in theaters, so it’s no biggie” 

“Now I feel bad. You obviously wanted to watch it again and i’m only renting it because I’m like the only person who hasn’t seen it yet” 

“You haven’t seen this masterpiece yet? It came out four years ago” he gasps and holds up the movie, making you giggle. Music to his ears.“I know. I’m lame” 

There’s a beat of silence and if anyone were to look at Eddie, they could practically see the wheels turning in his head. For years, he’s been trying to find a way to work up the courage to just talk to you and now it feels like he’s been presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. 

“Maybe we could watch it together” he suggests and feels like he’s stopped breathing until you give him an answer. You look up at him with your captivating eyes and nervously fiddle with your hands. “Yeah, I’d really like that” you respond and Eddie feels like he could do ten cartwheels right here in the middle of the isle. Little does he know you feel the same way. 

“Yeah? Are you free tonight around eight?’’ He asks and you nod. “Can I get your address?” 

Luckily, you had a scrap piece of paper and a pen in your purse and you write down his address with shaky hands due to the nerves from being asked on by the guy you’ve been hopelessly pining after for years. 

“So, I’ll see you tonight?” He asks as you both walk over to the door. Steve and Robin are watching you both like hawks, but quickly act like they are working when Eddie shoots them a glare. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” you promise and he flashes his million dollar smile. “Me too. I mean, of course I will, it’s my house so why wouldn’t I be there, um, anyways I’m gonna go before I say something stupid again” He chuckles, nervously.

“I should go too. Thank you for bringing that movie back” You touch his arm in appreciation and his head spins at the feeling of your touch. “No problem. Plus, this movie might be too scary for you to watch alone”

“Yeah? Are you gonna protect me?’’ you step closer to him, hand still on his arm. 

“With my life, sweetheart” 

Ten minutes before eight, you park outside of Eddie’s trailer. You couldn’t believe this was finally happening after wanting this for as long as you can remember.

You had transferred to Hawkins High your junior year, which was Eddie’s first senior year and you’d been smitten since. On your first day, he had one of his infamous outbursts in the cafeteria, and while everyone else was mortified, you couldn’t help but be intrigued at his passion. He was always loud and never let anyone’s opinions of him change who he was. It was admirable

The two of you never had many interactions besides when you’d let him borrow a pen in science class. You were always too afraid to ever say anything to him about the way you felt, and when you graduated while he stayed behind, you’d thought your chance had passed you by. Now, three years after you graduated, you’re standing outside his front door about to watch a movie with him. Life is funny like that. 

“Hey- fuck, you look good” Eddie’s words slip out before he can process that he said it out loud and you chuckle “Really? I just threw on some comfy clothes, but thank you” 

“You always look good. Anyways, welcome to my humble abode” He bows and motions for you to come inside. You look around once you're inside, taking in your surroundings. You’re in Eddie Munson’s living room and you know it’s silly, but it feels like things are finally falling into place. 

“Make yourself at home, I’m gonna get the popcorn. Do you want anything to drink? I got some coke it you want one” 

“Yeah, that’d be great” you answer as you sit on the couch. He puts the popcorn in a bowl and pours you both a drink. You take note of the Garfield mug he’s put his drink in and you smile at how adorable he is. 

“Lights on or off?” he asks after he puts the movie in. “Off, obviously. Gotta have the whole experience, right” He nods in agreement, turning off all the lights until the tv is the only illuminations. When he sits on the couch, he sits right next to you leaving no space and you couldn’t be happier about it. 

Eddie’s confidence seems to grow in the dark.  He does that cheesy thing where he pretends to yawn and stretch so he can put his arm around you. It’s cliche, but it makes both of you smile, nonetheless. 

As you sense a jumpscare approaching, you nestle closer to his side and hide your face in his neck. He can feel your breath fanning on his skin and he can’t seem to think straight. When you hear a scream from the television, you jump a little and he chuckles. “This coming from the girl who wanted to turn the lights off” he jokes

“Hey, don’t make fun of me. I was promised protection and that’s supposed to come without torment” You move your head to look at him and when he looks back at you, your faces are so close together your noses are almost touching. You’re about to put your lips on his until another scream comes from the movie, causing you to jump again. 

“Can I tell you something?” he asks in a whisper. “yeah, anything” you move to position yourself more comfortably, but still close to him. 

“I’ve had the biggest, most embarrassing crush on you since high school” he confesses and your eyes widen in surprise. “you have not” 

“Cross my heart. You were the only person to smile at me when I’d pass you in the halls. You weren’t afraid of me like everyone else.” 

“Why would I be afraid of you? You’ve always seemed like a teddy bear wrapped in leather to me.” You think it sounds too cheesy when you hear it out loud, but Eddie thinks it makes you even sweeter. 

“Teddy bear, huh? I didn’t work this hard for my bad boy image to be compared to a stuffed animal” he jokes. “Bad boy image?” you scoff “You’re drinking out of a garfield mug”

“Alright, you got me there, but Garfield is a total badass” 

“If you say so. Can I tell you something now?” you ask and he lets out an mhmm before you continue. “I’ve had a crush on you since highschool, too.”

“No shit? I mean Steve told me you thought I was cute but I thought he was just fucking with me” Eddie seems to be playing it cool at your confession, but he’s screaming on the inside.

“It was my first day at Hawkins and you were hard to not take notice of after one your cafeteria spiels. I remember everyone thinking you were obnoxious or a freak, but I was just enamored with you.”

“You never thought I was some satanist sacrificing children? I think you were the only one” he huffs out a laugh. Eddie’s life has been easier since high school. He still gets some weird looks every now and then, but things have calmed down. Although he always put on a brave face, some of those days were harder than others. It’s nice to know that you never thought he could be capable of doing those things he was accused of. 

“I always felt guilty that I never stood up for you. I hated watching them berate you and what I hated even more is that I was too scared to ever say anything to them” you say, looking down at your lap to avoid eye contact.

“Don’t feel guilty about that. They wouldn’t have stopped anyways” he places his hand on your thigh and you turn your head to look at him. He has a look of appreciation in his eyes, like he’s trying to let you know that you didn’t need to say anything to those assholes. Just you being thoughtful for him is enough. 

“I even left a note in your locker one day. It was when one of those idiots tore pages out of your campaign notebook and I guess I just wanted you to know that there was someone on your side” 

“That was you? It’s been driving me crazy for years trying to figure out who that was!” 

“you got it?” your eyes light up.

“I did. Still have it, too. This is probably embarrassing, but I’d read it whenever I had a bad day. I guess I didn’t want anyone to know that anything ever got to me and that I was above it all” He sighs. Eddie likes that he can be vulnerable with you. He hardly ever opens up to anyone about anything, but there’s just something about you that makes him comfortable. He feels like he could tell you anything and you wouldn’t judge him for a second. 

“Do you still have it? The note?” you ask and he scurries to his room to rummage through his nightstand where he keeps it. 

“Closest thing I’ve ever gotten to a love letter” he says before handing you the piece of paper that reads:

Eddie,

Sorry if this is weird, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how they treat you. I think you’re awesome and I hope you think that too. This town is a little less shitty with you in it. Never change

P.s. you look really good with long hair please don’t cut it

You chuckle when you read the last line. “I can’t believe you kept it. I knew I was right when I called you a teddy bear. You’re secretly a big softie, huh?” 

“The softest. But only for you, yeah?” 

“So that crush on me you had in high school… do you still have it?”

“It never went away, but now it’s even bigger than some teenage puppy dog shit” 

Everything around you seems to drown out. You’re too focused on how close Eddie’s face is to your own. His lips look so soft and pillowy, the perfect shade of pink. You scan over the rest of his face, entranced with his beauty. His eyes are even prettier up close. You could count his eyelashes with how little distance there is between the two of you and you think that one day you will.

Right now, the one thing you’ve wanted the most is quite literally staring you right in the face. Not a loud sound from the movie, or even if the end of the world was happening right outside could take you away from this moment. 

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, hand coming up to cradle your face. “Please” you barely get out.

Eddie gently places his lips on yours and it feels like this weight you’d be carrying around had been lifted from your body. Nothing in your life has felt more right than this kiss. 

You’re kissing Eddie Munson. The boy from the hallway that always gave you a kind smile and made you weak in the knees. The boy from your science class who never had a pen. The boy who you’ve wanted since you were 17. You always criticized yourself for never getting over what you thought was just a silly little crush, but it’s always been more than that. Every moment leading up to this has been worth it and you’d do it all over again if it meant you got to kiss him. 

You instantly miss his lips on yours when he pulls away and you can barely stand it, so you pull him back in. This kiss is more intense. You melt when his tongue glides into your mouth and his hand moves to hold your waist. You both put all of your feelings and passion into this kiss. It’s pure electricity. 

You wish you didn’t need oxygen to breathe. You wish you could live forever in this position, but unfortunately that isn’t the case, so you both slowly break apart but not without him giving you a few pecks before fully pulling back. 

His pupils are blown wide and his cheeks are flushed. His hair is a little messy due to you threading your hands through his soft curls. He’s never looked more beautiful. 

“So, I know this was only our first time hanging out, but- uh- do you want to be my girlfriend?” he asks, nervously and you smile so big that it causes your eyes to wrinkle. 

“I’d love to” you simply answer. 

“Yeah? You wanna be mine?’’ he smiles as relief washes over him. 

“I’ve always been yours” 

Nightmare on Elm Street has been long forgotten. Eddie restarted it twice, but each time you both end up in deep conversation and he’s kissed you more times than you can count. Maybe one day you’ll watch it, but today isn’t that day. Not when you’re sitting next to the most kissable person on earth. 

_

The End

_

[vodika-vibes]

It's Not That Complicated

Summary: You have a complicated relationship with Crosshair. More than friends but less than a couple. Friends with benefits might be the closest descriptor, but even that doesn’t feel right. When a mission goes wrong, Crosshair takes the chance to clear the air.

Pairing: Rebel! Crosshair x F!Reader

Word Count: 2636

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: This is based in the same setting as my Imperial!Tech fic. Because it's a fun setting and I kind of love it.

“No need to panic,” You call over your shoulder as your hands fly across the console of your ship, doing everything in your power to keep the ship level. “Everything is fine.”

“Really?” Crosshair asks as he glances out the window, “Because I think that was an engine.”

“Well, we only need one.” You say cheerfully, just as another explosion rocks your ship.

“...that was the second engine.” Crosshair offers mildly, as if commenting on the weather.

“Still no need to panic. We’re fine.”

Your hands fly even faster across the console, as you manage to keep the ship level. You pause for a moment to fasten your harness, and then you go back to work.

There’s a ripping noise, and your fingers pause, while Crosshair glances out the other window, “Ah.”

“What?”

“We just lost a wing.”

You’re silent for a moment, “It’s fine. Not a problem.”

“At what point does this become a problem?” Crosshair asks as he also fastens his harness.

“Oh…in about 10 minutes when we want to land.”

His sharp eyes snap to the back of your head, “Please tell me you're joking.”

“Yes, of course.” You flash a small, cocky grin in his direction, “I am the best, after all.”

“If you were actually as good as you think you are, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” Crosshair points out.

“Stow it.” You snip, “And brace for impact, we’re going to land hard.”

“Of course we are.” Still Crosshair does as you ask, at least, you assume that he does, you’re a bit distracted with making sure you both survive this.

You slow the ship and drop the landing gear, and carefully, very carefully, bring the ship down. It’s harder, with only one wing, but you manage it.

The ship lands hard, hard enough that it rattles your teeth in your head, and you can hear the landing gear snap as the ship slides on the ice. And then, it comes to a stop and topples to the side, leaning against the singular remaining wing.

“...well. Any landing you can walk away from, right?”

Crosshair shoots you a look, “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Nope.” You unfasten your harness and get to your feet. Bruised and battered, but still alive. “You alright?”

“I think my teeth rattled out of my head.” Crosshair bitches as he unfastens his harness and makes his way to the door. He has to pry it open, and he kicks the emergency slide down.

“Good thing we have excellent health and dental.” You chirp as you pull on winter weather gear and grab your kit.

Crosshair rolls his eyes, “Come on, kitten. Off the ship.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You scramble over to him and, with his help, you slide down the emergency ramp and land in a pile of snow. “Cross! This planet sucks!” You call up to the ship.

“Deal with it!” He calls back, “I’m sending the pack down to you.” He sets a large pack on the ramp and slides it down to you, before he slides down himself. 

You watch him get to his feet, before you hand the massive pack to him, and then you cast your gaze over your ship, “I’m going to give her a once over. I might be able to fix her.”

Crosshair’s face isn’t noticeable, due to his helmet, but he tilts his head in a way that you are very familiar with. “Go ahead. But we can’t stay long.”

“Yay! Thanks Cross.” You grab your kit and hurry over to the ship, effortlessly scrambling back up the ramp and climbing up onto the roof to take a look at the damage. 

You’ve been a pilot for the Rebellion since the fall of the Republic, and, before that, you were a pilot for the GAR. Of course, the GAR didn’t need any natborn pilots, because of all of the clone pilots, so you had often been confined to the hangar and playing maintenance. 

With the rise of the Empire, you lost your job completely. Your supervisor had been very apologetic when he canceled your contract, claiming that the Imperial Army couldn’t afford mechanics of your caliber. And then, privately, he told you that the new policies barred women from being pilots. 

At the time, you had been incensed. 

Even with the nice payout you got for them breaking your contract.

It was a stroke of good fortune that you were snatched up by the Alderaanian Military as soon as the contract was canceled. And, as it happens, the Alderaanian Military to Rebel Alliance pipeline is very real.

That is how you met Crosshair, and his kid sister, Omega.

As you understand it, Crosshair’s chip never activated when the Purge began (and wasn’t that a trip and a half to learn, that all of the clones had control chips in their brains that would overwrite their freewill), but all of his brothers did, and Crosshair had been forced to run with Omega when his older brother tried to kill them.

He doesn’t like talking about it. But Omega can be bribed with the right candy or food, and she’s happy to talk about how she came to be a part of the Rebellion.

From the start, you and Crosshair were often paired up. The best pilot in the Rebellion partnered up with the best Sniper in the Rebellion. Your job is to get him in and out of hard to reach places, and his job is to keep you safe.

It’s really no surprise that you got close. 

Long nights, alone, with nothing to do but get to know each other. Long conversations about anything and everything. 

You’re not surprised that you fell into bed with him. It was inevitable, really.

You are surprised you developed feelings for him.

And, if you’re a little disappointed that he seems happy with the friends with benefits situationship and doesn’t want more…well, that’s okay too. Your feelings are valid, so long as you don’t make them his problem.

But, all of this is a problem for later. 

Now, you need to try and figure out how to make your ship space faring with no engines and only one wing.

Easy.

Crosshair leans back on the rock he’s sitting on, his gaze locked on his Kitten as she scurries from one side of the ship to the other. Odds are, the ship is a total loss. But it’s better to let her come to that decision.

There’s the sound of a speeder approaching from behind, and Crosshair turns as an Imperial Speeder comes to a stop several yards away. “Kriff.” He stands and turns as three men climb out of the speeder.

“Everything alright here?”

Crosshair folds his arm over his chest as he realizes that these men are vod’e, “We had something of an incident.” He replies as he gestures to the ship.

“So I see.” The man pulls off his helmet. He’s older, clearly, with a full beard. He looks exhausted, and injured. “Names Mayday,” He casts his gaze to the ship, “That your pilot?”

“Yup.” Crosshair winces when he hears a yelp.

“I’m okay!” She calls from the top of the ship, “Just an ice patch.”

“Enough!” Crosshair turns to the ship, “Enough, Kitten. You’re not going to be able to repair the ship. Get down before you kill yourself.” 

She stands on the ledge of the ship, her hands on her hips, “How dare you! I am the mistress of the land, sea, sky, and space! I will make my baby space worthy again!”

“Yeah? Where are you going to pull another wing from? Your ass?”

She scowls at him, “I…am working on it.”

“Spunky.” Mayday murmurs, “Miss,” He calls up, “The temperature is about to drop. We can’t let you stay out here overnight.”

“It’s fine! I can stay on the ship.” She calls.

“Son of a kriffing-” Crosshair steps closer to the ship, “If I have to come up there after you, I will throw you off the ship.”

She pauses, as if considering her options for a moment, and then her shoulders slump, “Fine.” Carefully she climbs down, and hops on the emergency ramp, allowing herself to slide down to the ground. “But, I want you to know that I’m agreeing under protest.”

“Noted.” Crosshair offers her his hands and she takes them, allowing him to hoist her to her feet.

“Pilots are the same all over,” Mayday notes with an amused smile, “Hop in the back. We’ll go back to our base.”

“Come on, Kitten, in you get.”

“But, my tools.”

“I promise that no one here is going to steal your tools.” Crosshair says with a roll of his eyes, “I don’t think there’s anyone to steal your tools.” He ushers her to the speeder and helps her climb into the back. 

“Yeah, but you don’t know that! They were a gift from Queen Organa-!”

“If someone steals them, I will personally replace them. Sit down!”

She huffs and drops into a seat, her arms folded, and Crosshair folds himself next to her. Finally pulling his helmet off and dropping it onto her lap. “Hold this.”

She wraps her arms around his helmet, “Your hair is all messed up. I told you the tail was a bad idea. You should have gone with a knot.”

“Yeah, well, when it grows out enough I will.” Crosshair leans back slightly.

Mayday climbs in the back of the speeder, his gaze locked on Crosshair, “I should have pegged you for a vod.” He notes, “I thought the voice was familiar.” He glances at her, and Crosshair shifts, using his body to shield her a little bit, “You stationed on Alderaan?”

She leans forward, “Senator Organa requested several clones to come to Alderaan,” She says brightly, “Cross, here, often gets stuck on bodyguard duty.”

“Yeah, because the last time you tried to use a blaster you nearly shot your foot off.”

“I don’t recall that.” She sniffs, “Anyway, I often get tasked with transporting medicine to different planets, anti-venoms and the like, so I get my own personal bodyguard.”

Mayday looks concerned, “Do you have anything like that on you right now?”

“Nope. We were on our way back after a delivery.” She smiles at him brightly. 

“Well that’s something.” The speeder starts, and Crosshair nudges her back, “We don’t have a lot of space, so the pair of you are going to have to share.”

“That’s fine. It’s my preference, honestly.” Crosshair says with a shrug, “Not that I don’t trust you, but-”

“But you don’t trust us.” Mayday says with a nod, “I understand.”

The speeder falls silent, and Crosshair’s gaze flickers to the side when his Kitten leans her head against his shoulder, her gaze distant as she trails her fingers over the paint on his helmet. If he has to guess, she’s thinking of what she needs to repair her ship.

He nudges her gently, and her gaze flickers up to his face, and she flashes a small smile before she bumps him back. “I’m okay.”

“Never had any doubt otherwise.” Crosshair replies.

“It won’t be long until we’re back at base,” Mayday says, “You can just relax.”

And true to his word, the Speeder pulls up to the base less than fifteen minutes later.

Mayday leads them to a small room, “Sorry. There’s only one bed, but there’s a cot in the closet.” He says as he opens the door, “If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask. We don’t have much, but what we do have, it’s yours to share.”

Crosshair frowns, and he glances at his Kitten, judging by the frown on her face, she sees the same thing as him. “Commander,” She says, “I can’t help but notice that there aren’t many people here.” It’s a question disguised as a comment.

“Well, the Empire hasn’t been sending us supplies, and…” Mayday pauses, and laughs bitterly, “We’re the only ones left.”

“I’m sorry.” She says softly.

“Don’t be.” Mayday replies, “It’s hardly your fault.” He glances between the pair, and then turns, “Have a good night.”

And then they’re alone, and Crosshair turns to his kitten, “Shirt off, Kitten. I need to check your injuries.” He says as he pulls his armor off and sets it next to the door.

She frowns at him, but crosses the room to the bed, and pulls her winter gear off, and then she pulls her shirt off. Crosshair hisses when he sees the dark angry bruises crisscrossing her body. 

He walks over to her, and lightly trails a finger down a bruise, “Looks painful.”

“Better bruises than a concussion.” She replies lightly, a small smile on her lips. “Are you okay?”

“Better bruises than a concussion,” Crosshair mimics, a smile crossing his face as well. His hand comes up to cup her cheek, “We’ll be okay. I’m sure we can borrow a ship.”

She frowns, “I’m worried, Cross. The men here will die if we don’t do anything. And Commander Mayday’s injuries-”

“We’ll handle it.” He interrupts as he presses his thumb against her lips, “We always do.”

She presses a light kiss to his thumb and, for a moment, Crosshair melts.

“I was thinking,” He murmurs, “That this might be a good time to talk. We’ve been…avoiding it.”

“I’m listening.”

“About us. About our relationship.”

She tilts her head, “You mean our complicated situationship?” She teases, using the words that other members of the Rebellion use to describe the pair of you.

Crosshair leans in and bumps his forehead against hers, “It’s not that complicated.”

“They disagree.”

Crosshair rolls his eyes, “Of course they do.” He pauses, “And it occurs to me that, maybe, you might be on the same page as them.”

She frowns, “I’m content with how we are, Cross.”

He scans her face, “I don’t doubt it. But you’re not happy with it either.” Tellingly, her gaze flickers to the side. She’s always been shit at lying to him. “You want more.”

“I’ll take whatever you can give me.” She corrects.

“Oh, kitten,” He sighs softly, and traces her lower lip with his thumb, “I…care about you. A lot.”

“I know.”

“You don’t.” She blinks at him, surprised. “I’m used to people not wanting me, be it the Regs…or my own brothers.” There’s something bitter in his voice and she reaches up to stroke his cheek.

“It’s not their fault, Cross. The chips-”

“Hunter swears that their chips were removed.” Crosshair says quietly, “And they still tried to kill me.”

“I…they were lying. Probably. Maybe.”

Crosshair smiles at her, “You’ve always wanted me around. Have I ever told you how much I appreciate it?”

“Well, not in so many words.” She replies, “But I know. You tell me in all of the ways you make sure that I’m safe.”

“I should do better.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“You deserve better.” Crosshair corrects himself, and she doesn’t answer him for a moment, something thoughtful on her face.

“Crosshair, where is this going?” She finally asks.

“I want you to be mine. And I want to be yours.” Crosshair says, “No more flirting with other people. No more dates with other men. Just you and me.”

She exhales slowly, “...yeah?”

“Yeah.”

A bright smile crosses her face, “I want that too.”

With that, Crosshair crashes his lips against hers. Sure, they’re still trapped here, for now, but he can’t bring himself to care about that when he finally has her. Really and truly has her, in the way that he’s wanted for months now.

He has faith that she’ll come up with a way to get them off this planet and back to the Rebellion. But, until she does, he’ll just have to entertain himself with her.

[ominousvibez]

ectoberweek 2024, day 1 | graveyard shift

AO3

Victor is a janitor working a late-night shift at Axiom Labs. One night, he encounters Phantom.

A/N: Decided to try an outsider POV for this. Idk, the thought of a janitor working a late night shift kinda just stuck with me. Okay hope you like it xoxo vibez

Victor Hathorne is usually pretty content with his job.

It’s not exactly a fun job, or a particularly exciting job; but it pays the bills, and it pays pretty well. The hours are shit— 10 at night to 6 in the morning—but Axiom Labs makes up for it in generous benefits, including dental!

Victor hadn’t been to the dentist in seven years before snagging this position at Axiom Labs, and it’s a miracle he only had three cavities since.

The work is simple, janitorial duties. With most of the Axiom Lab staff leaving before Victor even arrives for his shift, it leaves most of the building to himself to clean. Four stories, technically, but he doesn’t have access to most of it. There are some higher-ups in the janitorial team that deal with the restricted areas. And they’re a team, of janitors—not something Victor ever imagined being a thing before starting at Axiom—so he’s not technically the only one working late hours, but he’s still usually alone.

Which is fine with him. He brings headphones and an old, busted MP3 player with him to work at night and he listens to music. Occasionally he’s able to find an audiobook to (not-so-legally) download to the MP3, so he isn’t just blaring loud rock/techno music for his entire eight hour shift, and he’s been actually reading books, surprisingly.

It’s a simple, easy job. Something that has helped him get a slightly less shitty apartment and a marginally better life. Not the best job, but it does what it needs to be done.

One night changes that for Victor.

The Head Custodian (what stupidly official name for just their manager) is in their break room already when Victor arrives one night. He’s not late. It’s about nine-forty, the usual time he clocks in, but the appearance of Ravenna Jones is only slightly alarming. Slightly intimidating. He doesn’t interact with her often. She’s usually in her office and doesn’t work the graveyard shift, only staying to eleven or midnight at most.  

She’s sat at the table in the breakroom, looking over a clipboard. There’s a lot of numbers and things listed on the papers, but it isn’t something Victor can easily read. Not just with his dyslexia, mind you, but it’s also upside-down to him. Not to mention—not really any of his business.

“Mr. Hathorne?”

His head snaps up as he sets his bag in the locker. He stiffens. “…Yes?”

A million thoughts go through his mind. Is she going to fire me? Am I going to be fired? Did I forget to clean something last night? Sure, he occasionally came in a little buzzed, not like any of the other janitors are much better than Victor. He’s usually the only sober one of the normal staff.

“Alexa James is not going to be in today.” Ravenna starts. “Well, for a while, actually.”

“Is-- is she alright?”

“Yes, she is fine. Maternity leave.”

Oh. Oh! He remembers, faintly, Alexa saying something in passing to him the other night. They’d been successful with IVF treatments a while ago, and her wife was due soon. The baby must have come. “Oh, that’s… Great. Good for them, I mean.”

Ravenna looks up at him from her clipboard, nodding quietly. “Yes. She will be gone for a while, and we will need someone to take over her position temporarily. You’re the only other staff member in our department who can fill in for her while she’s gone.”

“M-Me?” He hadn’t even been there for a whole year yet. The entire situation is very surprising. “I mean, Bill’s been here for years, can’t he…?”

Ravenna shakes her head, pushing her chair back to stand up. As Head Custodian, Ravenna never has to dress in clothes that are meant to get dirty (like Victor), so her pencil skirt and blouse are clean, tidy, and professional, and she brushes off the dust on her skirt. “Bill has a criminal record. I know that Jefferson comes in too high every night for his shift. And Kallie, well…” She shakes her head, trailing off. “Your background check came up the cleanest.”

That’s not surprising. For such a refutable company, Axiom Labs does tend to… take their chances on some people with sketchier backgrounds, mostly for the grunt work like graveyard shift custodian.

Still. It’s a lot more responsibility to be suddenly thrust into.

“Um, I’m, uh, not sure—”

Ravenna pays him no mind, continuing. “George usually arrives about eleven-thirty, according to his time-clocks. He’ll be the one to show you around tonight on B-1. I’ve got a new ID badge for you so you can access the floors you need to. Pay attention with what you do tonight, because George won’t show you anything tomorrow.” She explains, pulling a new ID badge and lanyard out from under the pile of papers on her clipboard. How that worked, Victor really had no idea. “Alexa is on maternity leave for the next eight weeks. If you do well during this time, there may be a permanent position open for you in the meanwhile.” Ravenna finally looks at Victor for the first time, her brown eyes staring directly into his. “That is, if you’re up for it, Mr. Hathorne.”

Up for it. Well—to be honest, it doesn’t feel like Victor’s being given a choice in whether he wants to do this or not. He takes the new ID badge—it’s the same as his current one, but less faded, at least he didn’t have to re-take the picture—and tries to force out a smile. It feels like he bares too many teeth with it. He nods, too. It feels weird and awkward. “Uh, I guess, I guess so.”

“Perfect. And like I said, George usually arrives around eleven-thirty, so in the meanwhile, work on your usual areas.”

Of course. Unfortunate that he doesn’t even get a break for this.

Ravenna makes her way to the door out of the break room, but she stops, her hand resting on the door knob. “Have a great night, Mr. Hathorne. And, oh—I suppose this goes without saying, but that NDA you signed when you first worked with us applies especially so on the basement levels.”

Right, right. It’d made sense that he had to sign an NDA, especially given the fact that Axiom Labs tends to work with experimental technology, but Victor had thought he wouldn’t be dealing with those floors, like, ever. But, somehow, it ends up finding a way to being his problem. Just his luck.

~~~

It’s night three of his new “job”, and it doesn’t feel any less unsettling to swipe his ID in the elevator to get access to the basement floors. Floors. The building was bigger than he was ever told—three different basement floors, specifically for research and development with secret projects and technologies up the wazoo.

Most of it dealing with ghosts.

Victor isn’t a religious man. He’s probably closest to some sort of pantheistic agnostic at this point, after all the ghost nonsense had started the same year he’d dropped out of college and moved back to what was supposed to be just a small city in the middle of nowhere, Ohio. It’d changed a lot, not just with Victor’s own personal beliefs, but the entire city had been literally uprooted and thrown into hell? At some point? He’s not even quite sure what happened, he’d been a little too high that day and also slept through half of it, but apparently the ghost boy, Phantom, had beaten some guy and saved the day.

But it’s safe to say he’s pretty indifferent to ghosts, at this point. They tended to leave most of his life alone, attacking through the city at night while Victor is scrubbing away at floor tiles and bathroom mirrors and chilling (mostly) during the day when he’s sound asleep in his apartment. They tended to stick to the downtown areas more; they’d attacked Axiom Labs before, too, but that had only ever been during the day.

He sighs, listening to the rock music crescendo on his MP3 player as the elevator finally dings for B2. George had gotten off at B1 already, and B2 was Kallie’s area. Now it’s Victor’s area.

It’s a lot more than he’d expected. He still doesn’t have access to all the rooms in the building. A few are locked off with “Authorized Personnel Only” signs in big letters on the door. He’d tried swiping his card through them once, just out of curiosity, but it didn’t work. Whatever. Victor doesn’t want to know what’s going on behind those doors. Possibly clandestine deals with the U.S. Government, those weird people always running around in white suits. Ghost Investigation Ward, or whatever?

Victor wished he didn’t have to care about those idiots but they’re worse than the Fentons. They keep sending people—living, breathing, human people—to the hospital from either their reckless driving or their horrible aims. At least with the Fentons, their inventions didn’t do more than stain clothes or leave nothing worse than a carpet burn, but those government pricks have more powerful weaponry that hurts. Victor remembers when Bill had to call off after he’d been caught in the crossfire of a GIW agent and Phantom on his way home. He was stuck in the hospital for a week, and the government wouldn’t pay him anything.

Taking out his ID again, Victor swipes it at the main janitorial closet on B2. Thanks to the government funding, at least, there’s a cleaning supply closet on every single floor. He doesn’t have to lug his usual mop and bucket setup from his usual floor all the way down to B2. Supplies are neatly color-coded and organized in this closet, and Victor tries to keep up with it as best as he can. Kallie’s incredibly neat and detail-oriented. He doesn’t want to mess with whatever system she’s got going here, especially since Kallie will be back from maternity leave, of all things, and will be a little more stressed than normal as schedules shift and fix themselves.

His MP3 player plays a Humpty Dumpty song next as he grabs a mop and a bucket, looking for the right concoction of chemicals to make the sudsy potion that leaves the floors sparkling clean. He knows what to mix and what not to mix—no accidental mustard gas creation here, folks— but Axiom Labs gets high quality stuff and they want it all used, all the time. Floor polish, soap, sanitation—everything. He grabs the soap first, pouring a bottlecap worth of the fluid before mixing it into the bucket until it starts to sud up. Once it does, it’s pretty easy. He hooks the mop handle under the bucket and rolls it out into the hallway, ready to start his shift.

Halfway through mopping, though, a crash echoes through the hallway, and Victor jumps.

His MP3 player stops working. There’s a fog in the air as he breathes. The temperature plummets, and the light fixtures flicker.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Of course there’s a ghost on his floor. Actually, wait, no, it’s not even his floor, it’s Kallie’s floor, and with how Axiom Labs and the government are working together, why should he even be surprised that a ghost is down here, at this point? Victor groans as he pushes the bucket out from the center of the floor, digging into his pocket for his phone.

Protocol, protocol, protocol…! He remembers the training. B.O.O., or whatever they’d called it. Something cheesy. Back out, organize, and what was that last thing…?

His phone turns on, but there’s no signal. Or Wi-Fi.

Of course.

He’s barely able to pocket his phone before he hears another bang behind him, and a loud curse from around the corner.

Victor freezes. He knows he should get out of there. Ghosts never really meant anything good, in his experience. Especially in a building like this, which was armed with anti-ghost technology developed by Axiom Labs, some by FentonTech, and all paid for with government funds. The building had been incredibly tricked out since the first ghost attack, so Victor didn’t think he really had to worry.

But. But. Curiosity killed the cat, and Victor nervously pokes his head around the corner to see who’s there.

Is that… Phantom?

The ghost is floating a few inches off the ground, one gloved hand sizzling from something. He’s not dressed in his usual garb. His white boot are gone, replaced with steel-toed combat boots, and it looks like a black hoodie was thrown over him to try to hide some of his glow. But with his floating, it’s still obvious he’s a ghost.

“No, Tuck, that didn’t work either.” Phantom says, holding one hand up to his ear. Probably to a phone, or communicator. Hopefully not to a ghost that Victor can’t see. He laughs at something. “Oh, yeah, sure, like an ID card is just going to appear out of the blue for me.”  

What is he even doing here?

“I can try to go under, but I bet they’ve made sure to ghost-proof the floors and ceilings of that room, too.” Phantom adds, sighing. He pauses for a beat. “No, you guys wait outside, I don’t want you getting too involved with this. Yeah, I know, but I don’t want your faces plastered on wanted posters all across the city! It’s bad enough with me—" It devolves into an argument.

Phantom is here. That’s not normal. Phantom tends to avoid the Axiom Lab building like the plague. Most ghosts do. Maybe they can sense something that humans can’t. Maybe they just don’t want to deal with the ghost-hunters that are often in the place during the daytime, and they don’t have a use for it. But Phantom is here. Why is that?

Victor does believe Phantom is a good guy. Er, ghost. He died young, too young—even though photos can’t show ghosts that well, this isn’t the first time Victor has seen Phantom in the non-corporeal flesh. The way that baby fat still clings to his cheeks is obvious. Phantom died young. Everyone in Amity Park knows that. Most think he’s trying to do good, at the very least; be the hero for everybody else that he never had. It’s noble.

But Axiom Labs isn’t the bad guy.

… Right?

“Yeah, yeah, Tuck. I get it. Give me some time to think. I might be able to—” Phantom glances around, before he locks eyes with Victor, and stops. “—Um. Lemme get back to you.”

Shit, shit shit. Victor jumps back from the corner. Maybe he didn’t actually see him?

But a cold tap on the shoulder from behind gives it away. Victor tries to hide the shock as best as he can, but he still jumps a bit at Phantom’s sudden appearance behind him. How did you even��?

“Hi! You’re not gonna kill me, right?”

“U-uh, no, I’m just a janitor.” Plus, you’re a ghost, aren’t you already dead? Victor wants to add, but death always seems like an inappropriate topic to discuss with a ghost.

“Great! Good. You’re not going to call any back-up, either, are you?”

“I—um—” If he could, he probably would. But also, it’s just Phantom. And also, he can’t, probably because of Phantom. He does feel himself pale a bit, though, and he nervously pockets his phone again.  “N-No.”

Phantom nods, floating back a bit. Victor’s a little jealous of that. He’d love to float whenever he wanted. But he’s quite content with the beat of his heart and his feet on the ground right now.

“Awesome. Cool. Do you have an ID that could get me into the central room, there?”

“I don’t think I have the clearance for it.”

“Hm. One sec.” Phantom taps at his ear again. “Tuck, you still there?”

A beat of silence. Victor can almost hear a response, but it’s too quiet and muffled to make any specific words out.

“Yeah, I got an ID, but it doesn’t have clearance. Can you…? Okay, yeah.” Suddenly, Phantom is holding Victor’s ID. He doesn’t even remember giving it to Victor. “Good now? Cool! Thanks.” Phantom starts floating back into the direction, with Victor’s ID in hand. “Just need to borrow this quickly, concerned citizen!”

“I—I will, uh, need that back—" Victor starts to follow him. There’s an odd, calming aura around Phantom. Or maybe he’s been hypnotized. He doesn’t know. The older folk of Amity Park always say Phantom is manipulating and hypnotizing the younger people. Are they right? Probably not. They can’t even figure out how to print a document properly. But they might have a grain of truth to it.

“Sure, right after—” Phantom swipes Victor’s ID on the card reader. The card reader immediately explodes into flames, which Phantom quickly freezes over. The door does, somehow, slide open. He sheepishly passes Victor’s ID back. “Uh. Sorry. You might need a new one.”

It’s singed. The printed picture of Victor’s face is completely covered in ash and soot, and one corner of it is melted, now.

Victor shakes his head, pocketing it. He watches Phantom enter the center room. It is the one room he’d been the most curious about. No windows to try to peer through, a steel door, state-of-the-art security clearance… What could be hiding there? He opens his mouth, not hesitating to ask his questions. “Phantom, what are you—what are you even doing here?”

Silence. Victor hesitates, before stepping through the doorframe.

There’s a lot of anti-ghost technology scattered about. It definitely looks like a laboratory in there, but more like a mad scientist lab than what Victor had been cleaning on the higher levels. Vials of glowing green liquids lined the walls. Ectoplasm, by the look and smell of it. It’s radioactive, am I even safe to be in here?

With Phantom’s nonchalant attitude in the room, Victor assumes he’ll be okay for now. The ghost has some wild protective instincts over anyone living in Amity Park, which does rarely come in handy sometimes (like the time the town had been taken to hell. Yeah, that thing Victor somehow slept through most of).

“Ah. There you are!” Phantom grabs something from one of the tables gently, pulling the thermos off of his belt loop. It’s a small orb, about the size of his palm, and it’s pulsating with a faint turquoise glow. He uncaps the thermos, and doesn’t even press the button on the side, just sliding the orb into the tube and closing it tightly. “Sorry I took a bit, Ember, I’ll get you back to the zone pronto.”

Ember? Like, the singer?

“Phantom, what…?” Victor trails off, before getting another look at the room. There are vials of ectoplasm, but there’s also a faint trace of it on the walls. Like something had been fought in the room. It had been violent. Eventually subdued, but the glow on the walls, barely visible under the glow of the left-on computer and the ghost in front of him, looked like blood splatters. It’d been violent. Too violent.

And that orb—it’d been the only thing to survive.

Phantom doesn’t respond.

“Phantom?”

“I should go, before you get fired.”

“But wait—what—who was that? What… what happened in here?” Victor might be dyslexic, he might’ve dropped out of college, but he had a deep, sinking feeling in his gut that something was wrong. Very, very wrong. The air felt like it’d been sucked out of the room, and replaced with imprints of what had happened. It was almost… painful.

Eventually, Phantom speaks. “Under the Federal Anti-Ecto Control Acts, any creature found to have traces of ectoplasm in their blood is legally seen as a non-sentient entity that needs to be captured, studied, and destroyed. The Guys in White don’t have any lab set up in Amity, so they take advantage of Axiom during the day.”

Captured.

Studied.

Destroyed.

“Look, uh, mister.” Phantom breaks the silence again. His voice cracks a bit. “I should get going. Um, if anyone asks, I possessed you for this, okay? Then, at least, you won’t get fired for this.” He laughs, nervously. “Thanks for the help, though.”

I didn’t really help much, Victor thought. He hadn’t even really handed Phantom his ID card. But, then again, Victor didn’t really stop him, either.

“S-Sure.” Victor eventually stutters out.

And, just like he’d appeared without warning, Phantom disappeared, leaving Victor alone in the lab with his thoughts.

~~~

His resignation papers were on Ravenna’s desk by the morning.

[stop-talking]

So I guess I should do an intro post / fanfic masterlist

Hi.

• I'm 20 yrs old, she/her, and obsessed with Josh Hutcherson. (Mike & Futturman especially have my heart)

• I'm new to writing, but I read like crazy and spend 90% of my time daydreaming up little stories about my favorite characters. Just using Tumblr as an outlet to get those little stories to the world.

• Feel free to request any fanfic related to a jhutch character. I'm most comfortable writing for Mike, Futturman, and Derek, but I'm willing to try to write for other characters. (Minus Peeta. Thinking about the Hunger Games makes me unreasonably sad & I'm not sure I know his character well enough to do him justice.)

My Works

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

✩ Mike Schmidt:

You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (18+)

Exactly what it sounds like. His babysitter goes missing, but he can't leave Abby home alone. Unfortunately, he's broke as fuck, and can't afford to pay someone to watch her. So... he calls you. He'll endure your bitchy attitude and relentless teasing if it means his sister will be safe. Somewhere along the way, endure turns to enjoy.

Fem reader; 10k words (total)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

No Abby, we're not getting ice cream.

Silly little one-off about the average shopping trip for Mike and Abby. He's just trying to get things for dinner, but Abby has other plans. Just Mike being the single mother that he is.

Mike's POV; 1.2k words

Read here

Open wide (18+)

Mike hasn't been to the dentist since he was a kid, but with his new job, and health insurance... he really has no excuse not to. One problem, though. He doesn't remember the experience being so... erotic? Is he insane, or is the attractive, young, dental assistant... hitting on him?

Gender-neutral reader; 2.8k words

Read here

Sleepless Nights

Abby is sure something's up with her brother. He's always been tired, sure, but ever since the events at Freddy's... well, he's gotten a lot worse. The stubborn man won't let her help, so she convinces him she's the one in need of comfort.

Abby's POV; 500 words

Read here

Gender-neutral reader; 2.8k words

✩ Derek Danforth:

So I'm stuck on this shithole island, and I can't even have a smoke? (18+)

You're hired by his mother as a last resort to try and get him sober. Alone with just him for three weeks, your job is to rehabilitate him.

Unfortunately, Derek sees you as his personal chef, maid, and whore. You flat-out refuse at first, but well, after so many days of only interacting with each other... The lines are a little blurred. something-to-lovers. It's complicated.

Fem reader; 22.9k words total (so far)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 (Part 8 coming soon)

Derek sending you nudes while you're at work (blurb) (18+)

Read here

Older; not Wiser (18+)

Derek isn't the type to entertain 20-year-olds. Really, he's not. That is, until one falls right into his lap. Literally.

You're just so sweet and fun, how could he ever dream of saying no when you ask him to show you a good time?

Part 1 (Part 2 coming soon)

fem reader; 2.5k words

✩ Josh Futturman:

Win for me ♡ (18+)

You're tired of your boyfriend paying more attention to his stupid game than you. So, late one night, you take matters into your own hands. Literally. Hopefully his little gaming buddies don't mind hearing him moan into the mic...

Gender-neutral reader; 2.3k words

Read here

✩ Clapton Davis

Saturday School

(Request) "Imagine listening to music with Clapton while in detention... like sharing earbuds with him while y'all sit in silence. Then a cringe song comes on at the wrong time LMAO"

Gender-neutral reader; 2k words

Read here

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 12 thoughts

oh, from the very beginning of this episode, from reading the little plot summary when you click on it, i was seated. and then i was even more seated through all of its twists and turns. a thoroughly enjoyable episode, if outlandish, but that's what we come here for!

so here we are. in a town called aubrey. there's a dog at a police station and the officers are talking about a murder.

we see this guy that looks like j jonah jameson- introduced as brian tillman- and a woman who works there is sad he didn't come home for dinner last night. BUT we also had a very conspicuous pan over his desk to see that there is a photo of his wife, who is NOT the woman he is talking to. affair....???

oh shoot, she's writing something. "i'm pregnant" the note says while he's on the phone with a coroner. AFFAIR BABY!

she's going to meet him at a motel but she can't see straight and is like. moaning in pain. now chat, i don't know much about pregnancy, but to me this is seeming... unusual. so i was confused until she started having a vision, and then she goes to that place where the vision was set, and starts digging up bones. notably, they are bones, so the murder is an old one.

title sequence. back to our agents, who are staring at xrays of teeth. very thoughtfully, mulder announces "i brush after every meal" thank you king of dental hygiene

so this woman- her name is B.J.- is a detective and found remains that match those of an FBI agent that went missing over 50 years ago. that's juicy. but mulder's like, why the hell was she in a field at night? she's lying and we need to go down there.

and also, "i've always been intrigued by women named B.J." <- mulder have you ever tried shutting the fuck up? it could be good for you.

ugh. a man. disgusting. you should be groveling.

so they're at the scene of the exhumation, which i had honestly forgotten the word for, and i almost typed "the bone unboxing", but it came to me in the nick of time. and it's clear she's lying about how she came across this whole thing.

the affair parner to B.J.- brian- is getting really protective while mulder asks if she's a psychic. he should have been a bit more protective a while ago but that's a different story.

autopsy date!!! what if i looked at some bones while you read me the poetic writings on the nature of evil from a long dead FBI agent... well that is what we see scully and mulder doing at this very moment!

scully puts on her glasses as she tries to figure out if the marks on the rib bones have any meaning, and shares this wisdom:

"it's obvious B.J. and tillman are having an affair"

mulder is GAGGED by this revelation. she read the situation for filth. good for her. "a woman knows these things" okaaayyy please use your intuition at parties and figure out everyone's complicated love situations scully it'll be soooo fun!!!

B.J. walks in and starts experiencing visions. typical! she leaves and says she doesn't feel good and scully sighs and follows her. she knows her duty.

allow me to copy verbatim from my notes here, because i was losing my mind:

"OH NO, SCULLY STARTS TALKING ABOUT HAVING FEELINGS FOR PEOPLE SHE'S WORKED WITH.... i'm not unpacking that right now but this B.J. CHARACTER MUST BE MORTIFIED. SCULLY'S DOING HER BEST STOOOOOOP. "you're pregnant aren't you" OH SCULLY PSYCHIC REVEAL?"

now. i was experiencing about a million emotions in a second at this scene, one for scully reading the situation and immediately jumping in to try and comfort B.J., two on the confession that she's had feelings for someone she worked with before, but i skipped all over that to focus on three, B.J. must be sooooo embarrassed she was so easy to read.

but now that i know what happens in the rest of the episode... scully, tell us more about having feelings for someone you are working with. how recently would you say this affliction has plagued you? please feel free to elaborate. i'm imagining like a silly summer job where she's 16 and navigating a crush and at the same time i'm imagining straight up pining over mulder. don't be shy. please share more. no? you just wanted to try and make a stranger in an uncomfortable situation feel better by relating to your personal experience, because you are a deeply empathetic individual? okay that's Fine.

by this point i was cackling, because damn. again. she just got straight to the point about the whole thing. B.J. is like "he'd kill me if anyone knew" and scully proceeds to IMMEDIATELY walk back into the room with mulder and spill the tea. and my laughter increased tenfold at this point. he looked shocked!!!!! she does not give a fuck she is going to tell him the drama!!! and i get it!!!!

anyway poor B.J. seems to know that the markings on the bones spell out "brother" and somehow that's true

this brian tillman fellow seems awful. he's picking up the evidence our agents brought with them from the 1940's crime scene and yelling at B.J. asking why she has sealed evidence from 3 days ago with her. this is because he cannot read that the files are literally from 1942 and that this seems to be some sort of copycat killing.

so our agents meet B.J. at a nice little secret picnic table rendezvous, where mulder drops the line "i've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we haven't figured out how to ask" okayyyy poet!!!

she draws a picture of what she sees in her dreams, and mulder immediately identifies it from a postcard in NYC, and announces it is the symbol of the 1939 world's fair... "NERD", i proclaimed to the screen, because it was so strong i needed to verbalize that feeling

brian tillman is back to being the worst, pressuring B.J. to "go through with the appointment", saying that it's not HER choice, it's OUR choice, which it famously isn't. reproductive coercion is NOT gonna slide you hillbilly spiderman hater looking freak.

she's looking at a bunch of criminals from 1940 to try and see if the murderer from her dreams is in there... and she identifies him... it's a man who looks kinda like elvis... elvis from SHEIN... his name is cokely, and he carved "sister" into somebody's chest in 1942... why was he not serving in the war at this time...

so mulder thinks the dude is their number one suspect for the new sister carving murders even though he's 77 now, and his reasoning is that "george foreman won the heavyweight crown at 45". which is so funny. mulder is such a walking encyclopedia but also the writers need to make him seem sort of cool so he just spits out sports facts and it doesn't make him any cooler.

scully's like, well her dad was a cop, maybe he knew about the case and she heard about it as a kid, and the copycat cases are bringing repressed memories back. which gives us this lovely exchange:

"i seem to recall you having some pretty extreme hunches" "i have NEVER!" (mutual smiling)

awwwww.

anyway. to the old man murderer's house.

he has an oxygen tank and he is smoking which i thought wasn't allowed but he probably doesn't care tbh. and he kinda talks like SHEIN elvis as well. he keeps calling scully "little sister" which is sus as hell because the victim carved brother or sister into all the people... but he denies and denies

at this point in my notes i imagined myself in the shoes of B.J.: "imagine if having an affair baby made you the conduit for solving 50 year old murders... girl i'd lose my damn mind"

she wakes up COVERED IN BLOOD with "sister" CARVED INTO HER CHEST and at first it was so horrific- and also, how could someone sleep through such a thing- that i thought it was another hallucination. but no, it is in fact real, and she doesn't worry about the blood, instead running to someone's house and lifting up the floorboards that she saw in another vision. and when brian comes to escort her to the hospital, our intrepid duo lifts up the boards to reveal some bones.

it would really suck to live in a house for a long time and then find some bones, wouldn't it?

scully further solidifies her stance as a real one by bringing what i think is some clothes in a paper bag to B.J., who insists that it was cokely the old murder man/elvis dupe who attacked her... but she insists she saw him as a young man, and he is now, of course, 77, so that's weird

but the blood found at the scene matches some of the genetic markers of cokely's blood, so they go visit his other victim who survived. and oooHHHH mulder sees that symbol from the world's fair on the wall!

mulder knows the victim, now an elderly woman, left the hospital the night of the attack, and returned 9 months later... she says it was complications but he goes for the jugular and asks "what happened to the child?"

now the roles are reversed, and it is scully who is gagged by a pregnancy reveal! the woman says that the child was evil, and he was sent to an adoption agency

new theory time: mulder says what if it was cokely's GRANDSON that did all this? it could explain the resemblance in her report AND that it was a younger suspect AND the blood types

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! he used to wake up in the middle of the night from terrible nightmares where he was the only person left in the world, until he heard his father cracking sunflowers seeds in his study and realized he wasn't alone

we can and will analyze that. the boy who lost his sister being terrified everyone else in the world will leave too, and it'll be just him left behind, trying to find answers. the man who almost lost scully feeling even more alone than he knew was possible, pulling at any sort of thread to bring her back.

and this is deeply touching, but they frame it as a genetic debate on if he was predisposed to liking sunflower seeds, and then it turns into a nature vs nurture argument with scully, and they're interrupted from discussing the finer points of the theory of genetic memory when they have to call the adoption agency

ULTIMATE GAG REVEAL: the son of cokely is... B.J.'S FATHER!!! SO is SHE DOING THE MURDERS? mulder seems certain, and that she even carved her own chest. scully is like wtf. and i'm like, i don't know if grandpa being a murderer makes you one too, but i don't know anything about genetics

NOOOO. we see the old lady we have previously visited- cokely's victim, now revealed to be B.J.'S grandmother- with an unwelcome visitor in the house!!! AND IT IS A DERANGED B.J.! i was shocked at this point because i did not think she was going to be the killer. but we see her closing in on her, and poor old lady says "you're my grandchild", and then a knife, and then yelling....

she's looking for someone to blame, just like her grandfather did all those years ago....

so she's in cokely's house, doing some slashing, when mulder rolls up, and the score is going sicko mode. the composers were popping off.

she SMACKS mulder in the head (yowch!) and has him pinned down, with the razor to his throat, and he's begging for his life. and scully BURSTS in, her finger about to pull the trigger on B.J., when....

BRIAN bursts in??? affair baby father has entered the chat. he's like "B.J. what is going ON" and he gets her to stop attacking

and then mulder is still laying on the floor, so scully comes over, and CRADLES HIS HEAD. yes you heard me she GENTLY holds his head, looks for any marks, and we fade to the case report

scully's theory is that pregnancy activated the dormant serial killer urges/genetic memories in B.J. and all i'm saying it it's a wild place out there.... if y'all are gonna have affairs, please be safe, perhaps this was a cautionary tale....

this episode was WILDDDD. twist and turn and twist and turn and i was seated! they definitely turned the concept of "someone receiving information on unsolved crimes from beyond the grave" on its head, and i certainly did not see poor B.J. as the killer. was it realistic? NO! but did i enjoy it! YES!

various highlights: scully being kind enough to confess to having feelings for a coworker to make someone she just met feel better, scully clocking the affair and pregnancy, scully immediately spilling the tea to mulder, who looked shocked, mulder nightmare reveal, scully also bringing B.J. clothes in the hospital because she is too good for this world even if she is a little gossipy with the bestie, and mulder nerd evidence- why do you know about the world's fair anyway?

[celandeline]

Summer of Like // Farleigh Start x OC (15)

The sun beats down on me, the hot weight of its rays pinning me to my lounge chair, making it impossible to even think about getting up. It seems like all I do these days is sunbathe, but I’m not complaining. To be content is to be basking in the sun, my mind devoid of all thoughts except for the sound of Venetia turning the pages of Harry Potter next to me. 

With a sigh, she drops the book to the ground. 

“So?” I ask, tipping my head to look at her. 

She settles back in her chair, tipping her face back towards the sun. “It was fine, I guess. I didn’t love the ending - I mean, there’s this whole big battle and everything and then it just jumps to when they’re all like forty and have kids. Nothing in between.”

“At least you win.” I say. Not that I was ever really doubting that she was going to beat Farleigh and Felix to finishing the book by a mile - but even if the ending was kind of shit, there’s some consolation. 

“Yeah.” She says. 

I bring my arms up over my head, resting them on the back of the chair, and close my eyes. With how comfortable I am, and how warm it is, it’s all too tempting to fall asleep - but I resist. I don’t want my front to be noticeably darker than my back. 

Next to me, Venetia sighs. “So.”

“Mm?” I open my eyes, turning my head to look at her. Her bottom lip is pinched between her teeth, and her eyes are alight in the way that they always do when she has something exciting to tell me. I’ll have to do my best to act surprised when she spills. 

“I went on a walk last night.” She starts. “Just to have a cigarette, you know.”

“Of course.” I say. 

“And I was just sitting on the little stone ledge over there,” She vaguely gestures behind us, to the house. “When Ollie walks up and starts talking to me about how pretty I am and how I really should eat.” She giggles like she’s making fun of him. “It was like he was a totally different person. He was trying to dom me into eating.”

I lower my sunglasses to look at her. “Well? Is that what I should have been doing all along?”

She giggles again, this time less condescending. “Maybe.” She teases. “It might have worked better if you’d have done it. Either way,” She says, “Next thing I know, he’s going to eat me out and I tell him that I’m on my period, and he does it anyway.” She’s thoroughly excited by the novelty of it - she talks about him like she talks about limited edition designer collaborations.

I scrunch up my nose. “That must have made a mess.”

“Of course.” She flaps a hand, dismissive. “I had to take a bath, after, to get it all off of me, but - have you ever had someone do that to you before?”

“Have I had period sex?” I repeat. “That’s basically what dental dams are for, V, nobody really uses them when they’re not eating someone out on their period.”

“I mean with a guy.”  She says. 

“Of course not.” I say. 

“See?” She says. “God, he’s so…” She trails off with a smile. “I don’t know if there’s even a word for it.”

I can’t help but laugh. “What, really?” I sit up, swinging my legs over the side of the chaise into the little aisle between us. “He eats you out one time and you’re trying to come up with new additions to the English language? I’ll eat you out anytime you want-”

“I know, Evie.” She teases. “You’ve said, about a million times.” Her face shifts, and she pauses. “I hope Felix isn’t mad.”

“Right.” I say. I’d forgotten what she’d told me - about the summer before this one, about the boy before Oliver. About how she was worried Felix would try and do the same thing to her with me, just to get revenge. Farleigh probably hadn’t even thought about Venetia before telling Felix.

“He seemed mad, at breakfast, but there’s no way he’s found out already.” She says. “I mean, it was just last night. No one was out but us.”

I could tell her. I should tell her - we’re best friends for a reason. We tell each other everything. But telling her is admitting that Farleigh and I watched her get eaten out. I turn it over in my head again. 

“I have something to say.” I start. “And you have to promise that you won’t get mad.” 

Venetia scoffs. “I could never get mad at you, Evie.”

“Farleigh and I saw you and Oliver last night. And I’m 100% sure that Farleigh told Felix.”

She just stares at me for a moment, and then she’s lunging forward, reaching over the spaces between our chairs to aim a flurry of slaps right at my head. I throw my arms up for protection, but it only does so much good - most of her blows land on my forearms, but my shoulder still take a beating too. 

“What the hell?” She says. 

“I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to see, we were just out on the roof and-”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were hanging out with Farleigh last night?” She cuts me off. 

“I tried, he didn’t want me to.” I say. 

Her eyebrows shoot up at that, peeking over the top of her sunglasses. “What did he say, exactly?” Her tone switches on the dime, going from accusatory to interested in an instant. 

“No,” I say. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, shut up.” She says, scooting to the edge of her chair so that our knees are touching. “It is so totally like that. I told you all about mine, tell me about yours. You owe me, for being a voyeuristic creep anyway.”

I roll my eyes, but give in anyway. She’s right - I do owe her, and it so totally is like that. “He didn’t really say anything. He just sort of looked at me.”

“Like how?” Venetia asks. 

“I don’t know, like…” Like he wanted to kiss me. The words dance on the tip of my tongue. I almost wish that Venetia hadn’t had a life changing head-related experience last night, just so that Farleigh and I wouldn’t have been interrupted. Then I’d know if he really was trying to kiss me, and not just a little too high. “I don’t know.”

“Mhmm.” She presses her lips together like she’s trying to hide her smile. “And what else did you guys talk about?”

“Nothing really.” I say. 

“C’mon, please?” Venetia begs, leaning closer to me. 

“He just said that we could be friends.” I say. “That was really it.”

“That’s it?” She asks, sounding disappointed. “I got ate out on my period last night and all you could get was ‘we can be friends’?” She sighs, and flops back into her chaise. “You’re so lame when it comes to guys, Evie. If Farleigh was a girl you’d have fucked by now.”

I splutter out a laugh. “I don’t-”

“You do, you so totally do, don’t even deny it, I see how you two look at each other.” She cuts me off. “I am explicitly giving you full permission to do whatever you’d like to that boy, and you’d better well use it before the end of the summer.”

I settle back in my chaise. “Okay then.”

“I mean it, Evie.”

“I’m sure you do.”

&lt; previous part | next part >

[cubezart]

Hi!! You totally don't know me at all, I'm a complete stranger >:) And I'd love to hear about Jim's mental world!!

HI ok so erm this is mostly just gonna be a mess of rambles and vague ideas smushed together barely in order but

(old/outdated concept sketch, but it's a good start)

for starters, the prime issue(s) to help resolve in his mental world (or this version at least) is jim's fear of burdening his friends and family, and his resistance to reaching out for help, as much as he really needs it. it doesn't get too deep into his trauma, it's just giving jim the push he needs to seek out help again

after jim's recent divorce with bettie, he's been trying to give his family "some space to process" ...which didn't take long to sink back into old self isolation habits. he's been putting his all into his job to repress and distract from everything else going on with him, and it doesn't seem like it'll work for very much longer

first area in his mind is a boring + extremely tiny office room, the other cubicles are all empty and open except for jim's, which has a big metal door attached to the entrance. you can try and talk to him or ask him things, but it won't get you much . he insists he's happier in there really !! its so nice and safe hes fine :) its ok :)

when asked why he's locked in, he'll insist it's for his own safety, saying some vague stuff while the clairvoyance hints become even more obvious. when you use clairvoyance on him, his POV shows the cubicle door and everywhere around it surrounded by nightmares clawing and staring at him from the other side. (something something these are all just his own perception of things and he's really not in danger)

afterwards, his dialogue tree gets pretty short and limited, leaving raz to explore !! there's a few doors you can interact with, one being just a simple archetype-required door with a little collectible or somethin. the other is an old n dusty storage closet filled with memory vaults piling up to the ceiling. you can't really interact with any of those individually, (maybe some raz line along the lines of "i can't punch through all those :( ") but there's one or two real ones that just seem to have completely mundane and normal memories inside. weird! cuz with cpstd n trauma memory loss/repression, it can repress a lot more than what's necessary

there's one last door to try, leading out into the next phase ! raz says goodbye to jim, and jim happily waves back as the door shuts n locks behind raz, and the hallway distorts and extends, distancing raz away too :( sorta like the effect in the pn2 office construct !! im taking a lot of inspo from that world tbh heehe except for the obvious yknow. dental stuff

the next phase is kind of a messy stub for now, still sorting n planning out everything in my head lol but it's called Jim's Judgement

it centers more around jim's trauma and Issues TM and a lot of it is more vague concepts than any real gameplay ideas for the more dark story elements bc i don't want raz to have to see that and like to think after raz gets him a head start, he gets into actual professional Psychonauts therapy (and for my own silly oc/canon interaction fun, its sasha and milla assigned to help him. perhaps. maybe. they almost assigned oleander but he yelled too much and scared him away /hj) ANYWAY!!

all that being said i honestly have 0 ideas how to tone shit down for raz and im still trying to plan out the smaller in-game per se variation on it so i will simply. wait to talk about it. there's a lot of cool symbolism and motifs i prommy i swear </3 but the main "boss fight" final moment thing surrounds his whole paranoia of being a horrible person who others only tolerate + he constantly has to "make up for it" by putting everything and everyone Before him. i really wanna end it back in the small office space with jim having the key on his desk this whole time, making it literally In His Hands to get himself out. he just needed the support! he's definitely scared and slow, but he opens the door and steps out of his cubicle. the room grows a little bit. its a start

i was gonna ramble more about the darker version of the second phase but this post is already gettin Long and kinda incoherent i think so ermm. ill split it off into a second post probably if anyones interested in hearing more . i hope this all made sense lol i have too many thoughts about him to keep together honestly

[phillipfancypants]

On flossing

This post is for people who want to look after their teeth/mouth but can’t bring themselves to change anything due to sensory/adhd/too busy/bad at changing routines.

I’ve never been someone who flossed. I hated when they did it for me at the dentist. My parents didn’t floss when I was growing up and neither did my friends or my sister. Children’s TV told me that only nerds floss.

But now that I’m an adult, when I go to the dentist, they always tell me I have inflamed gums and really I should be worried and I should promise to floss every day from now on etc.

But flossing HURTS. I mean, what is pleasant about slicing open part of your mouth every night for the rest of your life, right? And the dentist says “oh well once you get started, it won’t hurt as much you’ll get used to it” which honestly scares me more—I play guitar and it took ages to build up calluses on my fingers and having those inside my mouth sounds mildly horrifying.

Turns out that none of that is what’s actually going on inside your mouth. And after 15+ years of believing all this, it took ONE dental hygienist to explain why it wasn’t working for me.

Let’s start with gingivitis. You may have heard of it before, maybe been told you have it. Been lectured on how it’s tied to heart disease and low life expectancy and you can prevent it by flossing. But what IS it?

Basically it’s your body trying to protect you. Have you ever heard the statistic that a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s? Afaik that’s true, due to a bunch of bacteria we pick up from our varied human diet. And aside from some important gut flora, our immune system does NOT like it when there’s a lot of bacteria around. So what does it do? It sends white blood cells to scope out the threat. The closest battlefront to the action is your gums, so your body sends a bunch if reinforcements to keep the invaders at bay. The only problem is that the bacteria is perfectly happy living in your mouth, and really has very little interest in entering your blood stream. So all these extra white blood cells are gathering at your gums, but none are ever seeing battle and they can never truly eliminate the threat. This causes swelling and inflammation. It’s basically chronic arthritis but in your mouth instead of your joints. And funny enough, when part of your bloodstream is CONSTANTLY fighting a losing battle, that can hurt the rest of your body over time.

Where does flossing come into all of this? Basically the further away you can keep the bacteria from your gums, the better. They want you to floss because it basically scrapes off the bacteria from your teeth right next to your gum line which is the main war zone. If the white blood cells sense that the danger is gone, they leave, and the swelling leaves with them. The “resistance” you build up over time isn’t physical calluses, it’s just that, when all those white blood cells are around, your gums are like a fresh wound. Of course they bleed when you slice them with floss. When they sense the danger is gone, they can leave and that fresh wound can heal to a normal, tougher thickness. No calluses required.

But OP, I still hate flossing and I can never get through the painful first phase.

Lucky for you, there’s a much easier way: mouthwash.

If you’re like me, you probably thought that mouthwash is just for bad breath. So why would you use it if your breath isn’t bad? Well it turns out that they make a bunch of different mouthwashes that specifically target gingivitis bacteria. I use the store brand but name brand works too (just look for “anti-gingivitis” or “antibacterial” on the bottle). I don’t mind the kind with alcohol (it’s cheaper too) but if you get overstimulated by the burning sensation, they make non-alcohol ones too. (Other fun fact my hygienist told me is that the alcohol actually doesn’t do much to kill the bacteria, it’s just there as a solvent to stop the other ingredients from solidifying over time)

After a couple weeks of using mouthwash, I went to floss this morning and for the first time in my life it didn’t hurt. There was still a little bleeding (which I guess will go away with time) but it didn’t hurt! By using mouthwash, I had killed enough bacteria that my mouth could finally heal.

But I guess, the moral of the story is that there is a way to meet the dentist halfway, and you will see improvement. You don’t have to go all or nothing.

If you’re already in the habit of brushing once or twice a day, it only adds 30 seconds to your routine, but to your immune system, it’ll mean the world.

Sorry if this is obvious to some people, or if you’ve heard it before, but I genuinely had no idea how all of this worked until that one hygienist explained it to me. So thank you to him, and I hope this helps someone!

TLDR; use mouthwash even if your breath doesn’t stink

[yawnderu]

I am new to your blog and just want to say that I love your Call of Duty fics :) Angel was so fun to read, and I also really like the two installments of Final Girl. Do you plan on doing a third installment for Final Girl, or was the second one the last? I respect your work as a writer, so I just want you to know that I am asking out of curiosity (also because that story has me by the throat haha) and by no means trying to pressure you to write a third installment. As a new reader of yours, I respect your hard work and am excited to read whatever you write in the future.

Hii my love, thank you for being so respectful and understanding! 💗

I'm definitely planning on finishing Final Girl, there's actually around 3-4 more chapters before their story is completed, as I'd like to dig deep into Stockholm Syndrome and Keegan's manipulation to someone with an extremely frail psyche, to the point he actually manages to get her to love him, in her own twisted and clearly unhealthy way.

There's a lot I have planned with @moosch for it, and I'm very excited to explore the ideas we have planned!

Unfortunately, I've been busy with a combination of emergency dental treatments, work, gym daily and general exhaustion, not to mention that I've written over 9k words for commissions the past 3 days and there's still more waiting— which I'm extremely thankful for, because it means I'll be able to get the surgery I need soon! :')

So yeah, there's definitely more to come once I'm able to rest and recover from the shit ton of surgeries coming kjhfebhjef

[bellybiologist]

Tallying up the Year

I hope you guys' december (which is almost over already, wtf) is going/has gone well! 2024 is upon us.

This christmas weekend, I mostly found myself thinking about how this year went, and honestly? despite all the things I haven't gotten to do, I still managed to accomplish quite a lot.

Me typing this rambly post out is less anything anyone needs to read, but more to remind myself of Things That Got Done™ than anything else because sometimes... I forget I do be getting shit done! And it's important we remind ourselves of the work we do.

The Things That got Done™

I advocated for my own Health. I scheduled (and went to!) so many doctor and dental appointments this year, holy shit. But, if the last few years have taught me anything, I simply have to put in the effort. I got my colon mostly sorted out, started a new regimen for my skin and hair (after chopping it off) so I'm feeling better, schedule an appointment with the optometrist in January, and even got lots of issues with my teeth fixed. Granted, our broken medical system made it incredibly stressful, and i spent thousands of dollars on the latter that I will be paying off til next july BUT!!!! This section is about the good things.

Started Streaming Again! I've been missing streaming since I stopped way back in I believe 2020. It was a fun way to interact with followers and supporters, so I'm glad I'm back to it on a regular schedule, with many of the old regulars still joining me while I work. Speaking of which:

I finished 43 total stream doodles. While I'm only filling a handful a month, it's definitely adding up! 40+ boys in the span of 5 months is nothing to scoff at, and that's not even considering that I'm doing this alongside normal patreon work.

I finished 39 total commissions this year. I'm definitely still going quite slowly, and I thank everyone who has been extraordinarily patient thus far, but I'm happy to say that my pace has been decent... at least relative to previous years. I got more done in the last 5 months than i did in the roughly year and a half period before 2023!

Replaced SEVERAL appliances that broke down. My computer moniter, my microwave, my refrigerator... all failed on my this year, and it took some work, but I finally managed to get them all replaced! So far, everything is working fine, but next on my agenda is to save up for a new desktop. This one I use for work has been at it since 2017, and it's about time to look into upgrading.

My Google Drive is Looking Nice. It's still not perfect, but I'm still immensely proud of how it's shaping up. There's still some curating of older pieces to do, but I've found a stride where I'm regularly updating it for people to peruse.

=====

Now despite these W's, I still got a long way to go. The things below could be considered resolutions for 2024, but that feels cursed to call them that. They are simply:

Things I Want to GET Done

Adding more YCH Figures. I was definitely expecting to have more to choose from by this point. And I really need to update some of the older ones too, because I think they've aged poorly. I got some neat suggestions and hopefully will find some time this week to showcase them in my discord to collect some feedback before releasing them.

Do more involved pieces/projects. I want to do more things like Comics, or simply pieces that I work on over the course of several sittings, ones where I can experiment and fiddle and practice!!! I rarely ever get to do that these days (I've only finished a few Big Personal Pieces this year), and I need to find time and energy to do them more because those are the things that truly make me feel like I grow as an artist. (and maybe I can find a shading style I actually fucking tolerate.). I also want to get more OC development and stuff done too, cuz I really didn't draw my children a whole lot this year!

Make more fucking Money!!!!! Let's not kid ourselves. I want to get to a point where I'm not just barely meeting the monthly quota. How to get there? I don't know, honestly. Things are so very stacked against artists right now, so it really does feel like the only thing that can be done is Not Give Up. Which I won't do. If/when I go down, I'm making it everyone else's problem. Trust. 😏

Save up to Visit the Boyfriend. I haven't seen him since January 2022! Big goal is to be comfortable enough to where I can fly my ass up there and smooch him. 👏🏽

======

I won't lie, i'm going into 2024 quite anxious and still scraping by by the skin of my teeth (that I'm still paying for). It's going to be a BIG year cuz oh boy, it's election year, there's plenty of family developments i gotta keep an eye on and work to be a part of... not to mention all the horrible stuff going on still (free palestine!).

Here's hoping shit goes our way this coming year! And let's get ,more strikes going so everyone is getting their fucking money!!! :V

[elizabethplaid]

early morning notes - nov 4, 2024

Both phone-friend and streamer-friend were busy this weekend, so I spent my time napping and playing on my phone. (And taking photos of Wampus, which have been popular.) I sent them both well-wishes, but I didn't want to bother them. Both needed the break from their daily routines. Also, I was the one to suggest canceling this week's call, out of respect.

Thursday (Halloween, Oct 31st) was my dental appointment and some shopping, which left me very fatigued, both physically and mentally. Friday through now, my sense of touch has been hyper-aroused, but it's less scary than what happened at the end of August. (At least I didn't break my chakra, like I feared last time.)

I "took matters into my own hands" on Friday, but the sensations have persisted. I've been hesitant to say anything, as there's really nothing to be done. It's fun to whine when it's amusing, but it feels embarrassing and frustrating this time. I'm tired; I want to sleep; I don't want to be aroused. I'm too tired to do anything about it.

Sunday (Nov 3) was Friends-giving with Neighbors-S+J. I didn't go, because I'm so wonked, but dad brought home dessert. I was an impulsive fool and ate it right away, though it was close to midnight. I was most of the way through the cheesecake when I realized it'd been on the counter for a few hours. Ah, that pesky food safety. I stopped eating it and threw the rest away. (Cookies and chocolate pieces were saved and set in the fridge, as those are usually more stable.)

My impulsiveness also kept me from making a "proper" meal for myself. In the morning, I'll have something with more food groups, but emotions are clinging to that cheesecake and not sitting well with me. (Not nauseated, just some regret mixed with other weird things.) I'm near the end of my cycle, so that's my excuse for my current condition, at least partly.

I've taken my meds this morning, though I think I was late to take them yesterday (closer to noon). I was going to finish tasks for a game-event on my phone, but fatigue has eroded away my interest. There are some echoes of a dream that are lingering (kissing a hand, fairy bread), along with reading the symbolism from another recent dream, bothering my thoughts. Again, fatigue makes me want to ignore them.

I'm trying to search my memories for answers to my current situation. I've talked about this with my counselor and phone-friend. I've developed strategies before. I just can't think right now. It wasn't actions; it was attitudes, how to regard things and not get discouraged.

She also asked how I felt about the portraits from that dream, the one that's still bugging me. The symbolism site I read said it was "how you want to be seen by others", and that's true, but the details about the artist made it weird. I noted contrasts with other dreams of similar themes. Need to write down those imagery-symbols, so I can report back later.

The part about grout in dentures paralleled my dental cleaning, as well. It bothers me that it was a prediction, in a sense. The only other predictive dream I've had was related to my assault. And that anniversary is later this month, so I'm trying to keep my brain from revisiting those unhappy places.

There were also some story scenarios I envisioned as I went through that endorphin crash. I wrote about it but saved it as a draft, as it felt too painful to let anyone else see. I just had counseling the day before dental, so it's another week+ before we talk again. If I'm not feeling better by Tuesday, I'll ask for an earlier appointment.

I know there are bad feelings bubbling closer to the surface right now. They're buried under a layer of numbness, at the moment, which is also preventing me from thinking much. I appreciate how my brain is unconsciously/subconsciously? protecting me.

Still working through how much I allow myself to lean on others. This pain isn't new; there's nothing to be done by either me or them. So why bother sharing it? Maybe I'm using that as a cover-up for shame, too. Vulnerability is embarrassing, after all. Guess the mental health stuff is pretty heavy if I'm wrestling with philosophical stuff about deserving to be cared for. But it's also not easy to undo a lifetime of bad lessons, so I must be patient and kind with myself. I think I'll take a nap.

[petrichoraline]

Favorite we are character or scene?

i love this question, nani <3 thank you so much, i saved it for a day filled with rendering and eye straining but it's been five days now so ill sit comfortably and think about it

I'll start off with the fact I'm a very out of sight out of mind type of person, i could be banging my head against the wall cause of a scene but have no reaction if it's mentioned in the future soo I'm definitely not going diligently through my memory for this hahah

my fave characters are phum, q, chain and pun - phum is a bit too relatable on top of being really sweet and q had me shocked at how solid of a crush I had on him in the earlier episodes. as for chain -he is the bestest friend there imo, he has the serious level-headed look at times but he's always in for shenanigans; he did a play in two acts just for q to admit what everyone already knew and he enjoyed getting into the role despite the fact q made out with his supposed crush and came out all smug about it (I'd be gnawing on his face); he is just chill and fun and so so caring, he will barely put up a fight and he'll scold pun just out of obligation, he's also super gentle with him and the domestic dynamic they have is partially because of chains reliable nature. smart dental student who finds time for his studies, his friend's and pun (and his random ideas) in particular. just a solid guy, 10/10 [if he'd do something about moving this stoic ship it'd be great][and he's not too observant but he has his own romance to care about and, again, he seems to be one of the few putting in the work to get that degree]

and punnn, I have a soft spot for him because poon is just perfect, in the hands of the wrong actor a character like this could really be insufferable but pun pouts a bit and opens his eyes as wide as he can and you root for him completely. I liked him since episode one (had that relatable factor about him as well but most of us aren't lucky enough to have someone clean up our messes the second they happen lol)

I'd say it's between phum and chain, I like them in different ways. also the teacher we saw in exactly two episodes (who is now also a teacher in mlmu hahah) was cool and so is ciize's character who seems like a cameo atp

now, for a fave scene... ive giffed a few so you could think it's any one of them but actually I'm still stuck on episode ..1? 2? when they grab each other's hair and phum's thumb lingers over peem's ear. I go wild for that scene every single time cause it took you this little?? getting yelled at, a kick to the balls, some banter and physical contact?? baby you were desperatee desperate 💕

now looking back it makes perfect sense, the guy is touch, attention and affection starved so the amount of contact and time spent with peem was overwhelming ..but watching it back then was like oh. pick your jaw up cause peem is not catching the signals anywayss

there are plenty plenty of scenes I liked from friendship stuff to romantic lines like "so you mustn't forget mine" but this one i keep being reminded of so 🙂‍↕️

thank you so much for the question, I had fun thinking it through ☺️💞💓💖💗

[nancypullen]

Back to Reality

I've always been a homebody, a nester. Few things make me happier than a cozy, sweet home and a pot of soup bubbling on the stove. After ten wonderful days in France we flew home (well, that took an extra day) and slipped back into our daily routine. After a good night's sleep I made a grocery run, came home and tossed in travel laundry, then got busy on a pot of vegetable soup. Not gonna' lie, France is better. Denton stinks. One positive note, when we arrived home and turned onto our little cul-de-sac the autumn color was bursting into its glory.

It's like lifting the lid of a treasure chest full of jewels. Oh, I love it! I'm stuffing myself with salads, trying to cleanse my body of all of the gloriously rich French food. There's not one bite I regret. I do regret not bringing home a variety of butters. There are actual butter stores in France where you can buy butters infused with any flavor you can imagine. French butter is already vastly more delicious than our supermarket stuff, but imagine it combined with your favorite herbs, spices, or sweet flavors. They'll vacuum seal it for you if you're traveling. I talked myself out of hauling a suitcase full of butter home, but I'm still thinking about it. Shallot butter, vanilla butter, chili butter, smoked salt butter, citrus butter, truffle butter, I can't even remember the hundreds of flavors.

Their butter has more fat and less water than our American butter, and I'm sure there's some other magic involved, and I'm convinced that if it was distributed worldwide we would finally have peace. Everyone would be happy. *sigh* That said, now that I am back in the land of instant everything, I am not enjoying a buttery quiche for breakfast. The French would cry if they saw my morning "meal".

Yep, a protein shake with an extra scoop of collagen powder. Reality sucks. I'm just going to mention that life expectancy in the U.S. is 77.5 and in France it's 82.3. Maybe we should eat the butter.

In other news, Mickey has a cold. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated. If he doesn't make it I'll post the funeral info here. I should probably shop for a black dress. I've threatened him with bodily harm if he keeps coughing and breathing on me. Halloween is just days away and I intend to enjoy it with my grandgirl. So there you have it, we're back and everything is normal (ish). The kitties were thrilled to see us and are still in our faces 24/7, reminding us that we abandoned them. The cat sitter babies them, talks to them, lets them choose their own dinner, and they still act as if we left them to waste away. Drama queens. I have a dental check-up tomorrow and I never expect anything good to come of that. I brush and floss constantly, yet they always find enough work in my mouth to send their kids to college. I'm dreading it. After that it's mammogram time. The fun never ends.

I received our Xmas cards in the mail and realized that it's just 63 days until Santa comes. Good grief. Election day is just 13 days away, and that's terrifying. The day after the election I'm flying to Florida to visit my mom. My sister will meet me there and we'll have some girl time. I'm hoping we all feel relieved and not gut punched. Do I dare hope? I'm a silver lining seeker, a lifeboat singer, an eternal optimist - but I have to admit the last couple of years have stomped on that. Hard. I keep begging the universe to show me just how good things can be, trying to manifest the good. It does feel like there's a wave of positive energy, of goodness, sweeping the country - but I felt that once before and we ended up with an orange con man in the Oval Office. He's a liar, a grifter, a narcissist, an adjudicated rapist, a pervert, a 34 times convicted felon, he tried to steal a free and fair election, and there are still idiots who say, "That's my guy!" Even if you can ignore his criminal history and his lies, he's not a smart man. He doesn't even understand how our government operates. He can't grasp basic science. It's absolutely beyond me how anyone thinks he's in any way fit to lead. If you're one of those people, this blog is not for you. Move on. I've always been a promoter of unity, finding our similarities rather than our differences, respecting the beliefs and views of others even if I feel the opposite. Not anymore. This is not remotely about liberal vs conservative or Republican vs Democrat, this is not about policy at all. This is about decency. If, after everything he has done, you're still a Trumper, then I see who you are at your core. You may play nice in public or move through your days doing good acts, but at the end of the day you're okay with racism, misogyny, and cruelty. Deep down you truly think that someone who has a different skin tone, loves a same sex partner, or immigrated here seeking the American dream, is somehow LESS than you. That they deserve fewer rights and unfair treatment, the opposite of what this country is supposed to stand for. I'm so tired of the mean-spirited and ugly rhetoric being paraded around as patriotism. It's the opposite. Okay, okay. Getting off my soap box. I hope that you're making an educated choice in the voting booth. I hope that you're thinking of daughters who have fewer rights than their mothers did, grandparents who rely on Social Security, and what our future will look like if an ignorant wanna-be dictator with selfish, cruel intent regains power.

Think I'm being dramatic? These are photos of women in Iran in the 1970's - studying at university and window shopping, wearing the fashions of the day.

Here's the women of Iran now. In 1979 it became the law that all women must wear the hijab or face arrests and beatings. That was just the beginning.

All it takes is one mad man and his minions. Don't let that happen. From French butter to human rights, that sounds about right for this blog. I sit down at the laptop, crack open my brain, and shake everything out. Take what you want, leave the rest for the crows.

I think I'll sit at my desk and address Xmas cards. I'm cursing myself by getting an early start, aren't I ? Just asking for trouble. Maybe I'll make art instead. I'm in the mood to paint something. I hope that your day is sunny and positive. Treat yourself today, whether that's a cookie or a new nail polish - just a little bit of happy goes a long way. Sending out lots of love, I hope you feel it. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy