#no context woohyun | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jebewonmorelike · 2 years ago

Text

Chocolate Milk

wc: 4.8k pronouns: none used; n/a -- reader has femme best friend warnings: angstttt, fluffy ending, matthew being mean, swearing, mention of alcohol, matthew is a stranger and reader has to live with him, financial struggle/unemployment, a few inappropriate jokes but nothing explicit (think pg-13), consumption of a concerning amount of chocolate milk over a 6 week period warnings for spicy cut-scene: suggestive/mature themes; minors dni (link is here and will also be in the fic for the appropriate context and placement; fic makes perfect sense without cut scene as well it's just for funsies) summary: a down-on-their-luck reader has to crash on bandmemberandgymrat!matthew's couch for the foreseeable future. a couple problems with this: matthew is incredibly hot and also a major asshole ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ OH MY GOD. IT'S DONE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DID IT. THIS ONE NEARLY ENDED ME WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINISHED IT. i hope you LOVE it; matthew is for sure more like woohyun in this and he is hot and so mean and cocky and... enjoy this, please i'm begging you. <3

Why me?

You had been screaming this question over and over again in your head for the past twenty minutes. Your friend had texted you this afternoon that she'd finally found a contact who had a place for you to crash for awhile. The address she sent you had been a bit far away from the place you were currently crashing and you didn't have enough money for an Uber, so after an hour on the subway this evening and a thirty minute walk after that, you had finally knocked on the door of the apartment your friend had sent you to.

The boy that had opened the door, though shorter in height was muscular and sported several tattoos-- and you knew this because he had greeted you in a black, fitted tank top and boxers. Albeit, you had been quite a bit later than you said you would be, but the fact that he hadn't said more than ten words to you since you'd arrived with your suitcase in hand wasn't helping you to forgive his too-comfortable appearance.

Standing a few feet behind him in the kitchen area, you watch as the boy opens the refrigerator door. Fishing into one of the drawers, he pulls out a water bottle and tosses it to you.

He fails to warn you of the incoming object, however, and before you can scramble to catch it, it connects with your face.

You stare at each other for a long moment until you feel something tickling the skin beneath your nose.

"You're bleeding," the boy says, still expressionless as he continues to stare at you. "And you suck at catching things."

Bringing your hand up to your face, you run your fingers across the skin that is tingling under your nose. He was right: bright, red blood is coating your fingertips.

"Oh, um," you mumble, looking around for something to wipe your nose with. "Is--... Do you have a--?"

A tissue box hurtling towards your face shuts you up as your hands reach up in a panic to catch it.

"Better that time," the boy says, eyebrows raised ever so slightly in amusement.

Pulling a tissue from the tissue box, you dab it around your nose to remove the blood that is still flowing from it. You swallow nervously, glaring at the boy who has been nothing but rude to you this entire time.

He takes a sip from the glass of chocolate milk sitting beside him before placing it on the island counter that he's leaning against. "Is it broken?"

"What?" You ask, brow furrowing softly.

"Your nose," he responds, meeting your gaze again. "Is it broken?"

You frown. "I doubt it. It doesn't even hurt really."

"Damn," he says, shaking his head. "Disappointing."

Your eyebrows raise incredulously at the boy's words. "Were you trying to break my nose!?"

"Nah, of course not," he denies, turning to look at his right bicep. He prods the muscle before adding, "Just kind of pathetic that I couldn't, you know? Guess I've gotta up my reps from now on."

You're not sure when your jaw started dropping, but it clearly had no intention of stopping any time soon. "You--... You--."

Before you can say anything else, the boy places his empty glass in the sink and walks out of the kitchen area and towards his bedroom-- leaving you entirely speechless. After a moment of internally screaming 'wtf', you turn around to yell at him.

"HEY!" You shout, catching the boy just as he's about to shut the door to his bedroom. "What are you doing!?"

"Closing the door," he answers simply, starting to close the door again.

"Closing the--," you say, tongue pressed to your cheek as you look up to the ceiling and shake your head in disbelief. "This was a terrible mistake. I’m leaving.”

Walking towards the apartment door, you wrap your hand around the handle of your suitcase and pull it behind you. As you reach the door, you turn the knob and throw it open in a huff…

Only to suddenly feel your suitcase gain 100 pounds.

You tug at it uselessly to try to get it to budge, but eventually you are forced to give up and turn back around to see what the problem is.

Finding the suitcase handle, your breath hitches when you see a hand gripping the blue plastic next to yours. You follow that veiny hand up past the arm its connected to until you’re finally looking its owner in the eye.

You swallow hard, not knowing how to properly react as you pull the suitcase harder. “Let go.”

He does, but the sudden lack of equal and opposite force on the suitcase sends you flying back against the door— shutting it closed behind you in the process.

The boy steps towards you, your heart racing in response as your mind runs through all the possible ways he could kill you and dispose of your body.

Click.

His fingers turn the lock on the doorknob.

Clank.

He locks the deadbolt above it.

“PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!” You shout suddenly, no longer able to contain your fear.

He stares at you for a moment, face less than a foot away from yours. Then, he snorts. “I was actually trying to keep you from getting killed. I don’t know if you noticed, but this building isn’t in that great of an area. The guy down the hall got murdered at the vending machine at 10 P.M. just last week actually.”

You blink back at him, wide eyed.

“But if you'd prefer to go out there, I’ll just go ahead and open this door up for you and you can—.”

You turn around, pressing your hands against the door to keep him from opening it. “I’ll just… stay here. But only for tonight.”

“Sure you will.”

You frown, turning back around to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I know you have nowhere else to go, so,” the boy says, face expressionless. “You wouldn’t be trying to shack up on some rando’s couch for the foreseeable future if you weren’t.”

You sigh. The asshole is unfortunately right.

“I go to the gym early every morning and I have band practice until late at night-- which I missed tonight for you; who decided it was polite and reasonable to be two hours late without even sending a text," he says, walking back towards his room. “But what I'm getting at is: you won't see me unless you're trying to. So I'll know if you're trying to."

Scoffing, you stand there with your suitcase in this bastard of a man’s apartment-- completely helpless to the situation at hand.

“But if I hear so much as a peep out of you while I’m sleeping, you’re out on the street-- do you hear me?”

He doesn't wait for you to answer. Instead, he shuts the door to his room closed; leaving you alone in the combined kitchen and living area in the small one bedroom apartment. Resignedly, you slink towards the couch and sit down; finally pulling out your phone to text your friend after experiencing this utter disaster that she had set you up for.

BITCH WTF

???

this man is the rudest, most insufferable human being in the world. why did u tell me to go live with him

Matthew? Insufferable? Maybe a bit abrasive but...

he threw a water bottle at my face so hard my nose bled and then got upset when he found out it wasn't broken

Awww... I think he likes you :)

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? he's a fucking crazy person

You just don't know each other yet. Don't worry too much about it. You needed a place to stay and you got one... Beggars can't be choosers

watch it

Gn xx

You throw your phone down beside you onto the couch, lying down on your back as you curse your friend.

Matthew...

He hadn't even had the common courtesy to introduce himself. In fact, you would've gone on not knowing his name if it wasn't for your friend having told you just now.

Luckily, even in the strange new environment, exhaustion begins to take over after the long train ride and walk you'd been on all evening. Sinking into the old, leather couch and pulling the navy blue throw blanket draped on its arm over your body, you eventually drift off while scrolling through TikTok as the hum of the refrigerator lulls you to sleep.

A few days pass quietly in this way. Though Matthew had claimed you'd never see him unless you tried, you'd found it easy at first to get a glimpse of him when he came in through the apartment door around 2 A.M. every night. The click of the doorknob and clank of the deadbolt always stirred you from your sleep, though you'd keep your eyes closed as he walked past where you laid on the couch.

But one night, just as you were falling back to sleep after Matthew had come home about a half hour prior, you hear his bedroom door click open.

Curiously, you watch as Matthew walks to the fridge, opening the door and peering inside. In the refrigerator light, you can’t help but notice that his features are much softer and sleepier than usual.

“Stop staring,” he says suddenly, jolting you upright on the couch.

You stare at him wide-eyed in the dim light, not sure whether to deny his claim or not. “I wasn’t staring. I—.”

“So why were you pretending to be asleep, huh?” He challenges, eyes boring into you. When you fail to answer, he concludes, “That’s what I thought.”

Matthew sticks his head back in the fridge for a moment before resurfacing— a puzzled look on his face. “Huh.”

“What?”

He closes the refrigerator door, holding up the new carton of chocolate milk you had picked up from the corner store down the street that afternoon. “Where did this come from?”

“I got it today,” you answer with a shrug. “I saw you were out so I grabbed some on my way back here.”

Matthew blinks back at you for several seconds, the puzzled look on his face unfading even after your explanation. He walks to the cupboard and pulls out a glass, setting it on the table as he unscrews the cap of the carton and pours. "I didn't ask you to do that."

Your eyebrows raise in shock at his condemnation of the favor you'd attempted to do for him. "Bastard," you mumble under your breath.

"Don't waste your money," he says, bringing the glass to his lips and chugging the liquid in less than three seconds. "You're supposed to be saving it," he scolds as he sets the glass in the sink, walking out of the kitchen and back to his room.

"And go to bed."

That's all Matthew says before the door to his bedroom slams shut once more.

~super spicy cut scene 🌶️ HERE 🌶️... minors dni ... continue reading below ... rest of story makes full sense without additional scene so return here after reading or SKIP IF YOU ARE A MINOR~

You don't see Matthew again for another week. You've been exercising again, tiring your body out so you can sleep well on the old leather couch that you now call your bed. You wake up each morning and its as if the boy had never come home at all.

The only sign of his existence is another empty glass in the sink, which had undoubtedly been filled with chocolate milk the night before while you were sleeping just a few feet away.

You wash each new empty glass every morning. He must notice, but he never says anything.

You've applied to several music teaching jobs, but haven't made it past the interview stage for any of them so far. Most of them say they're looking for someone with more recent experience at this point. You're now considering branching out to any field that will hire you.

You're asleep by 10 P.M. tonight, a long walk that accidentally ended up being mostly uphill turning your legs to jelly as they melted into the beat-up couch. It's one of the soundest sleeps you've ever had, until a soft melody begins to wake you...

Eyes fluttering awake much to your chagrin, you look around the room expecting to see light flooding through the windows. You're surprised instead when the only light you see is leaking through a crack in Matthew's bedroom door.

The strumming of an acoustic guitar, accompanied by a gentle male voice is what must have woken you. You sit upright, wiping the sleep from your eyes as you grab your phone from the end table and check the time.

2:34 A.M. He must've just gotten home from band practice, you think. Why is he still playing?

Curiously, you stand up and tiptoe to Matthew's bedroom door. He hadn't shut it all the way and you can see him in the reflection of his standing mirror. He's wearing grey sweatpants and a black, fitted tank top as he works the guitar-- eyes closed and brows furrowed tensely as he sings with it.

He looks hot.

You shake your head quickly, expelling the troubling thought as soon as it pops into your head and correcting it:

He looks frustrated.

You listen closer, trying to catch the lyrics or the tone of the song. Matthew's voice is a lot better than you thought it would be. You had secretly been hoping he sucked so that you could hold it over the asshole's head forever. But he doesn't suck. And far from it...

But there is something slightly off. You place your ear closer to the door, trying to figure out what the problem is. As he holds out the last note of a particular phrase, it hits you.

And you accidentally hit the door, sending it flying open as Matthew's eyes meet yours through the mirror. You grimace awkwardly as he stares back at you unamusedly.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?"

You step into Matthew's bedroom, looking around through sleepy eyes at each corner. You were surprised to find he had a bed frame and not an old, messy mattress on the floor. He had seemed like the type.

"You woke me up," you say with a frown. "Why are you allowed to make noise while I'm sleeping?"

"Because I'm the only one paying rent," he says simply, raising a small glass of what looks to be whiskey to his lips.

Your brows furrow defensively. "I was going to help with rent."

"With what money?" He asks rhetorically, setting the glass back down on his desk. "Have you found a job yet?"

Chewing your cheek in defeat, you answer softly, "No."

"Mm," he hums in response, returning his attention to his guitar.

"But I've been trying," you add, folding your arms across your chest. "Really hard. It's just that my field is... saturated."

"Mmhm," he mumbles dismissively. You shake your head, rolling your eyes at the boy who you were now forced to coexist with.

"Whatever. I was actually gonna tell you you sounded nice," you say, walking back towards the door. "But you actually sounded pretty flat so. Choke on a dick."

You're just about to step back into the living area when Matthew calls softly behind you, "Did I actually sound flat?"

You turn around and nod at him, taking in his curious expression for a moment. "It's most noticeable on the ending pitches."

"I knew it," he says, sighing in defeat.

This is the first time you've ever seen real emotion from Matthew. He's definitely upset that he's not sounding the way he wants to. It's refreshing to see him give a shit about something for once.

"It's because you're lingering on your consonants too long," you advise calmly as his eyes meet yours. "You need to get to your vowels faster or you're gonna stay under the pitch."

His eyes narrow suspiciously. "How do you know that? What are you-- some sort of vocal coach?"

"Uh," you stumble, smiling awkwardly back at him. "Yeah, actually."

"No you're not," he accuses with a frown. "I've never heard you sing before. Not even once."

"Obviously. I'm not allowed to make a peep while you're here or you'll kick me out, remember?"

Matthew leans back in his desk chair. "You're being for real? You're really a trained vocal coach?"

You nod, pressing your lips together. "I'm also a jazz saxophonist. Turns out neither are very lucrative professions."

He's silent-- just staring back at you as if he's lost in thought.

"You have a good voice, though," you say, walking towards the door once more when it seems like he's not going to respond to you again tonight. "And I liked the song. But I think it could use some work."

You take one last look at him, his face soft and sleepy like it had been that night a few days after you'd just moved in. He's gazing down at his guitar, tapping his fingers against the body lightly before you finally close the door.

"Well I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my life around you..."

The lyrics flow out of you as the hot water hits your body and falls down to the floor of the shower beneath you. Matthew might live in a shitty apartment building, but one thing they did have...

Good water pressure.

"But time makes you bolder; even children get older and I'm feeling older, too..."

Thud.

You freeze as you hear a loud noise come from the other side of the bathroom door. A million thoughts race through your head, but one sticks out most of all: is someone else in the apartment?

Matthew wouldn't be home for hours. And you'd deadbolted the door to the apartment...

Hadn't you?

Fight response kicking in, you shut off the water and fling open the shower curtain. Wrapping a large towel around you, you open the bathroom door and step into the living area cautiously. Walking around, you look for any signs of an intruder but, after a thorough search... you don't find any.

What you do find is your phone on the ground next to the couch, when you were sure you'd placed it on the end table. But with the windows open and the summer evening breeze blowing into the apartment, you try to convince yourself as best you can that your phone has simply fallen off its perch.

Changing into your pajamas, you watch TV for a while before falling asleep for the night on your makeshift bed.

Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzzz.

The light buzzing against your chest wakes you up, looking around in a daze for the culprit. Finally, you locate your phone and bring it up to your face; blinking the sleep away as you read the screen as best as you can.

3:57 A.M.

Mom

Decline Accept

You decline the call quickly after reading the time, instead texting your mother:

i can't talk. what's wrong?

Your mom types back fast, as expected:

Nothing's wrong honey! Just wanted to give you a head's up that we had to put your dad's gambling debt on your debit card this month. Luv u x

Your heart jumps to your throat. "No, no, no, no, no," you whisper as your fingers frantically find your mobile banking app. You tap it open, clicking through to your account total which now reads:

-$3,367

Suddenly, you're nauseous and scared and devastated all at once. You had saved $300 in the time since you'd gotten your part-time job at the Italian restaurant around the corner from you two weeks ago. And just like that, you were in serious debt once more.

Would this nightmare ever end?

You're not sure when you started sobbing, but the tears are flowing and they're now a completely unstoppable force. Covering your mouth with your hand, you attempt to stifle the sound of your crying as much as you feasibly can.

But it's all in vain.

The door to Matthew's room flies open, anger radiating off of him. But then he squeezes his eyes shut tightly, reopening them after a moment to stare blankly back at you. He's unmoving as you continue to sob until he finally walks past you to the kitchen area.

Matthew opens the refrigerator door, pulling out a fresh carton of chocolate milk. He opens the cupboard and pulls out a glass before filling it up halfway. He returns to the carton to the fridge and walks over to where you're sitting on the couch, glass in hand.

"Because you're crying like a giant baby, I figured you might need some milk," the boy says, hand with the glass extending out to you.

His words are harsh and sarcastic, but his expression is surprisingly soft. You notice his hair is slightly messy from sleep and his cheeks are puffier than usual. He looks almost innocent...

"Do I have to beat someone up?" He asks quietly.

Suddenly, you realize: this glass of chocolate milk could be Matthew's version of an olive branch.

You take the glass from his hand, slowly bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. You hold the glass in your lap as you meet his gaze.

"I hope not," you say softly. "Considering you wouldn't even be able to break their nose..."

Matthew blinks at you for a few seconds before a sudden grin lights up his face. His smile is broad and happy and if you weren't already sitting down, it would've knocked you off your feet.

The crinkles in the corner of his eyes are youthful and endearing and the laugh that comes out of him is enough to light the entire apartment in the dark.

What the fuck is going on?

When he sees you staring back at him confused, he coughs lightly in what seems to be embarrassment as he averts your gaze. "Go to sleep," he says, walking back to his room quickly. "You can keep crying in the morning."

Though Matthew's words themselves aren't overly comforting, there's something behind them-- something in his voice or maybe the way he glances at back at you before closing the door-- that makes you think that the boy who had once been disappointed he didn't break your nose... might actually give a shit about you after all.

"HOLY FUCK!" You scream, bolting upright from your sleep the next morning when you open your eyes to Matthew staring back at you.

He smirks. "A good face to wake up to, right?"

"No," you say, gripping your heart with your hand. "You scared the shit out of me."

"I hope I didn't," he says, standing up from where he's sitting on the floor in front of you. "You're not getting a new couch no matter how much you shit on it."

"You're more chipper than usual this morning," you say, stretching your arms above your head before dropping them to your lap in sudden realization. "Wait... It's the morning! You're not supposed to be here!"

Matthew laughs, walking over to the kitchen island and grabbing his keys. "Come on. We're going."

"What?" You ask confusedly. "Going where?"

"To breakfast," he answers simply.

"Why would we--?"

"Because there's no food in the house," he answers plainly again.

You frown. "I was gonna go pick up some groceries yesterday, but--."

"But you didn't," he cuts you off again quickly. "So you have 100 seconds to get ready and then we're going."

You blink at him, wondering what on earth had gotten into this man.

"100... 99... 98..." Matthew begins counting down; the sudden pressure causing you to jump to your feet, grab some clothes from your suitcase next to the couch and run to the bathroom.

Panicking, you brush your teeth and wash the sleep from your eyes before changing into the jeans and shirt you had haphazardly plucked from your suitcase. Fixing your hair, you can hear Matthew still counting faintly from outside the bathroom door.

You fling it open just as he's about to say "seven"; brushing past him to grab your phone from the couch.

"Oh look at you," he says, a smug little smile on his lips. "So efficient with your time."

"Let's just go," you mumble, unlocking the door to the apartment and stepping outside in a huff as you watch the smile on Matthew's face only grow wider.

"Can I have your cream?"

Your eyes widen in shock. "My--... my cream?"

"Yeah, your coffee cream," he says, pointing to the tiny containers of milk creamer that you've left untouched next to your coffee cup. "If you're not gonna use it."

"I--... I am gonna use it actually, thank you very much," you huff out, trying to shake the image that Matthew had unknowingly created from your mind as you pick up one of the creamer packets and dump it into your coffee.

You look up at Matthew as you place the empty container down to find the infuriatingly attractive boy smirking at you-- teeth lightly biting down on the left side of his bottom lip.

"Did you think I meant something else?" He asks with a cocky chuckle.

You pour the second packet of creamer into your coffee, exhaling deeply as you chew your cheeks to keep yourself from screaming. "If you had, I would've poured this hot coffee down your shirt."

"I'll admit that's a very creative way to get a glimpse under my shirt," Matthew counters, leaning back in the booth seat and folding his arms across his chest. He positions his forearms just under where his pectoral muscles end, humorously trying to emphasize them for you.

It is unfortunately having its desired affect on you.

"If I had known that you stopping being so rude to me would lead to you amping up the inappropriate flirting I would've--."

"Tried to make it happen sooner?" Matthew says, raising his eyebrows in a challenge.

You pick up your spoon and dunk it in your coffee cup, stirring a little too aggressively as some of the hot liquid splashes onto the table. You're about to grab a napkin to wipe up the small spill, but a veiny, slightly-calloused hand beats you to it.

He dabs up the spill with his napkin and retracts his hand before meeting your gaze again. "I know you're in serious debt."

You stare back at him, not sure whether or not to deny his accusation. Ultimately, you're too curious to fight back. "How do you know?"

"You left your phone open," he says nonchalantly. "When I was getting ready to go to the gym this morning, your bank info was just lying there."

You laugh sadly. "Good thing I have nothing to steal."

"I thought you were working at that restaurant on 5th Street," he says, taking a sip from his coffee mug. "What happened to that?"

"Nothing happened," you say, staring into your own cup of coffee. "I'm still working there."

"And you haven't managed to save anything?" He asks, eyes free of their usual judgment. "Is that why you were upset?"

Slowly, you shake your head. Why you were about to divulge your personal information to a virtual stranger (albeit a virtual stranger that you live with) was beyond you. But you answer honestly anyway, "My parents charged their own debt to my account this month. It's not the first time they've done it. It won't be the last."

Matthew studies you for a second. "Does that have anything to do with why you had nowhere to live in the first place?"

"I was fine paying it off for a while, each time they'd add a new charge. I'd just spend a little less that month. A lotta less, actually. But I was fine," you explain slowly. "But when the pandemic hit, the arts school I was teaching at closed down. And so did a lot of other arts and music programs across the country. And I just haven't been able to find a job or recover financially since."

The boy sitting across from you is quiet for a few moments, taking a sip of his coffee and placing the cup back down on its saucer. You think maybe he's reached his talking quota for the day, when he suddenly says, "I know someone who needs a vocal coach."

You tilt your head curiously to the side. "Who?"

"Me."

Unfortunately you'd taken a sip of your coffee just before Matthew had given his answer. You choke slightly as the hot liquid goes down the wrong pipe from the shock; clearing your throat before responding, "WHAT!?"

"Someone whose band just got signed to a local record label is gonna need a good vocal coach, don't you think?"

You watch as a smile grows on his face; the sun suddenly making an appearance smack-dab in the middle of Joe's City Diner. It's impossible to keep the corners of your lips from also turning up when your roommate has suddenly decided to start being the cutest person you've ever seen before.

"That's--... That's amazing," you congratulate him. "Breakfast is on m--."

"Me," he says with a laugh. "It's on me. Unless we're dining and ditching. But I wanna be able to keep coming back here, so let's just let me pay, yeah?"

A little embarrassed, you nod in agreement. "Right."

"Plus, it's my way to convince you to be my vocal coach," he says with a smirk. "Is it working?"

You sigh, a small smile forming on your lips, too. "I dunno. I'm kind of out of practice at this point..."

"I'll pay you $75/hour for two lessons a week."

"Deal," you say quickly, hand extending across the table before you can even think it through properly.

He grins, taking your hand in his and shaking it. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"You as well," you say quietly, blushing as you retract your hand. “But… can I ask why? If you have $150 to spare, you could hire anyone. And, honestly, I thought that you hated me until... Until right now, actually. Why are you helping me?”

Matthew chews his lip for a second, folding his hands in his lap. “Because you bought me chocolate milk.”

A little pout forms on your lip as you try to figure out what he’s talking about. “What?”

“When I ran out,” he says, nodding simply. “You went to the corner store and got me a new carton. When you first moved in.”

You frown. “You told me never to do that again!”

“I told you not to waste your money again,” he says shrugging. “But it was thoughtful of you… and I appreciated it.”

You blink back at him, not sure what to say to his after-the-fact thank you. After a moment, you nod-- a small smile on your lips.

He takes another sip of his coffee. "And you're not out of practice by the way."

Your eyebrows furrow, wondering what Matthew means by this.

"I heard you singing last night in the shower," he says, smiling. "I knew for sure you weren't lying when I heard you."

Suddenly, you remember the thud you had heard while showering the night before. "YOU WERE LISTENING TO ME SHOWER!?"

Matthew laughs. "I forgot my capo at home and I needed it for band practice and--..." The smile drops from his face when he realizes what you had meant. "NO! No, oh my god, no. No, no, no-- not like that I--."

"Why so defensive?" You ask with a smirk, one eyebrow cocking playfully. "Just wanted to show you I can play that game, too."

You watch relief floods his face as he grins. "I'd ask you to put your money where your mouth is, but..."

"Asshole."

His smile exudes a bit of fondness now, much different from his smirk or his sunshine-filled grin. It's soft; warm. "You have a beautiful voice."

You look down int your coffee cup, bottom lip tucking between your teeth awkwardly. "Thanks."

"And if you sing while I'm home, I won't kick you out. In fact, that can be your rent payment."

You start to shake your head in protest, but he just laughs.

"That way I don't have to eavesdrop while you shower," Matthew jokes. "Unless you want me to."

"You've got to be kidding--."

"And maybe we can get breakfast like this more often."

There's a flutter in your heart again. Just like when he'd told you to go to bed earlier this morning. His words weren't flowery or overly emotional or caring in themselves...

But it's that look in his eyes; the tone in his voice.

"Breakfast and vocal lessons it is," you agree softly. "But I get to add something to the deal too..."

He smiles at you, brows raised in anticipation.

"You share your chocolate milk with me more often."

Matthew's eyes narrow as he studies you for a moment. You think for a second that his love for chocolate milk might be too strong...

But then he nods.

"Deal."

299 notes · View notes

orphiclovers · 5 months ago

Note

i read yoo mia side story (thanks for your translation btw) and is an explanation ever given for why sys and lsh just show up? they are from the 1864th turn post scenarios timeline right? did everyone in kimcom just gain the ability to go to different timelines on their quest to find kdj?

im confused but like are you really reading orv if you have no clue whats going on

AFAIK there's no explanation, you just have to take it at face value. Yes, I personally think they're both at least post-1865th turn. Can kimcom hop timelines? I don't know, maybe in the main side story. which I haven't read, so someone who has could answer that better.

For me, I don't find it necessary to know how precisely they got there. They're otherworldly spectral presences in Yoo Joonghyuk's life, appearing and disappearing from it just as quickly, with no explanaiton, and they can be that to reader's too.

Honestly, you could interpret them as Yoo Joonghyuk's hallucinations. If you take yoo mia side story on it's own, it seems that way. He's having a mental health crisis and then they appear to protect him and save him from all the bad stuff in his life in a wish fulfillment fantasy. No one remembers their existence after they're gone, except for Yoo Joonghyuk. At the very end, he even asks himself 'did that really happen?' but decides that it doesn't matter if they were real or not, and remembered them for quite a while afterwards.

But okay. If you DON'T take it on it's own, there's also hints from the little snippets of dialogue we get from sys and lsh

So what this is implying is that kimcom does not know they are here and that they sneaked off to come here for some reason.

This was after the alley scene. They did not mean to interfere in Yoo Joonghyuk's life at first but couldn't stop themselves after seeing how pathetic he was.

And they are primarily searching for story fragments (of yjh?) but got sidetracked beating up 'the manager and the coach' Kang Woohyun and Park Jinsang. 'very interesting' is code for 'I took care of them wink wink'.

Shin Yoosung also says 'as expected uncle -- is here...' She's not talking about Yoo Joonghyuk, and not KWH or PJS either, so I have no idea who she's referring to. Another time traveler who's interfering in events?

So you get some context, but not a lot.

#you see how dangerous it is to send me asks about yma ss. I will ramble #yoo mia side story #asks #yoo joonghyuk #shin yoosung #lee seolhwa #park jinsang #kang woohyun #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint

24 notes · View notes

kpopsunbaes · 6 months ago

Text

I'm seeing K'Pop coming up with both the dating rumor and the term "K'Population" making the rounds again. For those who are unaware, both are inaccurate.

A few years back, Serin and I were the team that researched the group and investigated where the rumor/name came from. The episode I've linked explains it and provides sources, but here's the TLDR on these two matters.

K'Pop

K'Pop wasn't an abbreviation for K'Population. They debuted as K'Pop and went by that name until disbandment.

As stated during the group's Sugarman2 appearance, the name "K’Pop" was created by Joo Younghoon who produced the group. While on a business trip in Japan, he was inspired by the term “J-Pop” and came up with “K-Pop” as the Korean counterpart to the J-Pop wave. This was the first example of the term being officially used in Korean music, as previously the term for the genre we know today as K-Pop was referred to as Hallyu (한류) and/or Gayo (가요). This is why the music show Inkigayo is named as such, as the name literally means popular music.

Note: K'Pop is styled as such in English, but during promotions, they were also sometimes referred to as "K-Pop". Due to the genre using a hyphen, when referring to the group, an apostrophe is preferred to reduce confusion.

The first reference to K'Population that I found came from the long-defunct website http://kpophwaiting.net. It was an English fansite in the 2000s for the group, as K'Pop had international fans. I found Japanese fansites from 2002, and references to fans in the US.

On the front page of the kpophwaiting site was a notice that read the following: “K-Population is here for those K-Pop fans who do not speak Korean and may have a hard time finding things on the band.” From this, we see that "K-Population" wasn't used as the group's name at all, it was for a fansite.

Sidenote, in case you're wondering what K'Pop's fans were called, it was K’Popcorn (케이팝콘), which also went by the nickname Popcorn (팝콘).

I have no idea how K'Population got misconstrued as being the group's name on various English wikis years later. I assume it was due to general misinformation that was parroted over the years.

The Dating Rumor

From what I could gather, the original Korean and international K’Pop fans didn’t seem to be the source of the dating rumors.

The first mention of it I could find was from 2007, after the group had gone inactive (and technically disbanded) a few years prior in 2005. On January 22nd, someone made a Daum Cafe post saying they heard a rumor from their new friend that Woohyun and Youngwon had dated and broken up pre-debut. However, the poster themselves doubted it and seemed to want to share it because they thought it was funny. The commenters from that time also didn't seem to take it seriously either.

The fight between the two members from 2003 was brought up during this. The context for it being brought up was that the poster was musing about the idea of them fighting and they vaguely remembered Woohyun had bandages on his hands from an actual fight with Youngwon. They didn't claim the dating rumor and the fight were connected events.

For those of you who are unaware of the circumstances of that incident, here's a brief explanation. The group's coordinator was leaving, so the company had a farewell party for them. Prior to that, Youngwon's drinking habit of being rowdy was known to the group. He got drunk during the party, and around 3am Woohyun was fed up with Youngwon picking fights with him. While he was waiting for his ride, Youngwon came up behind him and punched him a few times before staff separated them. Woohyun had an injury to his face and his wrist, as he fell during the incident. (S) After multiple insincere apologies, Youngwon finally got it that he hurt his friend, so he publicly apologized to Woohyun for his actions and they both moved on. There were no further incidents publicly between them, and the group went on to release another album. Despite what people have spread around, the fight wasn't even close to being the reason why K'Pop disbanded -- it also didn't cause long-lasting discord between the members either, as we know from their later reunion.

However, it appears that didn't matter to the next person who spread this rumor. Also in 2007, a reporter wrote an article that acted as if the January post was a true summary of events. Although the article itself is lost to time, a fan's reaction to it was preserved. The fan was annoyed that the fight was brought up to drag the members. They also claimed that due to the reporter's reputation, they doubted the dating rumor was true. The fan's speculation about the article being written to bash the members wasn't unwarranted. For context, around that time, an article came out that discussed the morals of idols who trained/debuted while underage. Youngwon was mentioned in that article, as that reporter brought up the fight with Woohyun in it.

In 2011, the dating rumor article was brought up in conversation among netizens. They remembered the article, but forgot that they didn't take it seriously. So, the story got spread around again as if it was fact. This is why retractions are so important.

After K'Pop's appearance on SugarMan2, the dating rumor was spread to international fans through articles on sites like Koreaboo and Allkpop. To this day, you'll see people associating K'Pop with this rumor after a giant game of telephone.

Final Notes

When it comes to K'Pop, people know them more for two inaccurate pieces of info than anything else they actually did. If you read this whole post and are interested in knowing what the group actually did, I recommend listening to the podcast audio included at the top of this post. I hope I explained this well enough for people to get why 1st Gen fans have been cracking down on those who repost about K'Population and the dating rumor.

Please be cautious when looking at English language wikis for 1st Gen groups in general, as they tend to include wrong info (and generally don't list sources). For example, Baby V.O.X's entry on Kprofiles includes the wrong picture of the original leader (it shows a different member from an MV a few years after her departure) and doesn't list that she was the leader. Additionally, H.O.T's Wikipedia page is a DISASTER. So, be cautious, folks.

#k'population #k'pop #k pop #k-pop #kpop #1st generation kpop #1st gen kpop

14 notes · View notes

gaykey · 2 years ago

Note

hey! me and my friends were wondering about a kpop friend group but we forgot the name to it or the rest of the members. they were all ‘91 liners and the only ones we could list from the group were goo hara, key and minho (i think) do you know the name or at least the rest of their names? also give some context if you know it!

hello!

ahhh yes, the 91 line! that's the unofficial name of them, and the only name they were ever really known by tbh. they were most prevalent from around 2010 to 2014.

i've talked about them a few times over the years, so check out my tag for them here.

but, to summarise, they were a friendship group that consisted of idols that were born in 1991, and key was their leader. and that's just not me saying that, he actually called himself the leader lmao.

like i said, pretty much any idol that was born in 1991 was a member, but the core group was kibum, woohyun (infinite), jaejin (ftisland), nicole (kara), dogwoon (beast) and soyou (sistar) whose birthday was feb 1992, but was considered an honourary 91er. they were the closest, and the ones that hung out together the most consistently.

other people like mir (mblaq), jinwoon (2am), hara (kara), nana (after school), seohyun (snsd) and min (miss a) were also part of the group, but weren't spotted hanging out as often as the core group.

minho was also in the group, of course, but kibum rarely let him hang out with them or at least, rarely let him appear in the group pics 💀

there were countless selfies and social media updates, and they were like the it kids of idols at that time. big events were so fun because chances were the 91 liners would all be spotted hanging out.

they stopped being as visible on social media around 2014, and there are rumours as to why that could be.......

but thats an entirely different rabbit hole!

so yeah, that's 91 line. it was such a fun time in kpop tbh, it was the first time an idol friendship was so visible and obviously clique-y. they were the popular kids, and they flaunted it. and kibum takes all the credit for it djhdjsjsnsns.

#asks #theokimurakk #91 line #kibum and his besties #key #shinee

9 notes · View notes

placegrenette · 1 year ago

Text

youtube

"But, Jessica, you haven't said anything about Gap yet!" I am still processing Gap, good friends (and hoping to get individual song writing credits before I review said songs), but look, it's not every day that my original collective object of parasocial affection and overanalysis comes out of the woodwork and gives us a new song.

Or two-thirds of a new song, at least. That's the first and most obvious criticism of "New Emotions": it's too damn short. At about 2:01, with a very nice Woohyun-to-Dongwoo handoff at the beginning of the second chorus, I thought, "So this is all going along smoothly but not passionately: we need a bridge and then an explosion, with Woohyun and/or Sunggyu wailing all over the background." And then I checked and saw that the song had 44 more seconds of running time. I know this is the current trend, but it's not as if listeners of 2023 are cut off from the bridge-to-final chorus well-sold theatrics of "Paradise," "The Chaser," or "Back." The disadvantage Infinite has now is that they're not just competing with all the other groups out there but their own discography, and in that context "New Emotions," while sleeker and more enjoyable than the blorpy, turgid "Tell Me," just isn't that great.

But obviously the song is only about 20% of any Infinite comeback. How do they look? They look great. They and their Infinite Company employees have clearly paid some attention to detail: Woohyun in a buckle choker, Sungjong deftly handling sunglasses, Myungsoo getting pushed around. Also apparently the strategic calculations include making sure Sungyeol wears sleeves as infrequently as possible, and I'm not sorry. (He gets a verse in his range, which is gladdening, but somehow keeps being shoved to the back of their six-person formation.) Also everyone sounds good: not pushed too high, confident.

And we're getting a Killing Voice episode and possibly some kind of in-house variety show and probably a whole bunch of TikTok dance challenge clips. It's good to have them back, even if the song isn't top-tier material.

#endlessly talking about infinite #music from korea #Youtube

5 notes · View notes

what-if-nct · 2 years ago

Note

hey mrs hwang! me and my friends were wondering about a kpop friend group but we forgot the name to it or the rest of the members. they were all ‘91 liners and the only ones we could list from the group were goo hara, key and minho (i think) do you know the name or at least the rest of their names? also give some context if you know it!

I think I know what you're talking about, I don't remember the name but I do know Nicole from Kara was also in the friend group but that's the only other person I can remember, Nicole was my bias in Kara so thats probably why she stuck in my memory the most. But it was so long ago. I'll see if I can find it on Google.

Okay I think I found it , I think they just went by 91 line and it's just Nicole from Kara not Goo Hara. But it was Soyu from Sistar, Woohyun from infinite, Dongwoon from Beast, and Jaejin from FT Island. I hope I was of help.

4 notes · View notes

bobo4ifnt · 18 days ago

Text

Harsh 가혹해요 - Nam woo hyun of INFINITE

Lyrics Translation in Englsih subtitles

[ ] = Interpret's own adding for more accurate (which actually means more close to interpret's point of view of the the lyric writer's intention) and smooth interpretation

When the sentence ends with "~요", you can imagine that line has much more formal, reserved texture(?) than other lines.

<Verse>

이미 지난 일 따윈 던져라 헤프닝

[They say] Let bygones be bygones.

It was [just] a happening.

그저 돌아오는 건 구겨지는 내 얼굴

And what's coming back to me, it's just only my face, get crumpled.

*face crumpled=lose face<=>save face

**First line's [They say] doesn't apply on this line and the lines from now on either

이유 따윈 접어둬

Never mind the reasons [of the happening(s)].

의미를 굳이 왜 찾아 (변하는 건 없는데)

Why bother to find the meanings [of it] .?.

([cuz] nothing really changes(=can't be changed))

아무도 내 세상엔 관심 없어

Nobody doesn't care about my world,

*(=Nobody gives a hoot -)

살아가는데 결국 1도 지장 없으니

cuz it doesn't hold up anything in any of their lives.

*"hold up" used as affect in negative ways, disturb

어차피 주인공은 내가 아니까 (영원한 건 없어) ***

Afterall I know who's the protagonist.

(Nothing lasts forever)

***Woohyun didn't release the offical lyrics so can't be sure about this but considering the context, interpretation below makes more sense.

<<Afterall I'm not the progonist.>>

When he sang, he surely sounded 아니까 (a-ni-gga) but it is possible that what he actually meant was 아니니까 (a-ni-ni-gga). -lack of the space of sound(?) made him sang just 아니까

You can find this kind of abbreviation? in his lastest LP track <I'll be alright>.

(offer->off)

누구를 만나도 별 감흥도 없으니까

Whoever i meet, i feel just numb.

행복만 가득했던 시절로 날 돌려놔줘

To those days which was filled with only happniess, [please] take me back there.

이 세상은 왜 나에게만 가혹해요 열심히 살아왔는데

Why is this world so harsh to just me?

I hustled(=worked hard) [in my life to this day].

억지로 날까려고 하지 마요

[Please] don't try to mock me when you even don't have any grounds for.

이런 고통이 내게로

Such pains came towards me,

*Such used as 'that something i just described'. Not as exclamation purpose.

벗어날 수 없다면 즐겨볼게요

if I'm stuck with this, I'll try to take[find] pleasures in it.

*similar with "When life gives you a lemon~" maybe with tiny little different vibe?

이 세상은 나에게만 가혹해요

This world's so harsh to just me.

<Verse>

현실에서 또 부딪혀

Again something bumped on in reality.

도대체 어디까지 맞춰줘야 해

How far do i have to compromise?

*compromise <- not as mutual agreement.

내 갈 길 열어 주문처럼

Paving my way like a spell casted.

먼지 나니 털어 나갈 테니까

[Those dust on me], dusting off and gonna go forward

아무도 내 세상엔 관심 없어

Nobody doesn't care about my world,

*(=Nobody gives a hoot -)

살아가는데 결국 1도 지장 없으니

cuz it doesn't hold up anything in any of their lives.

*'hold up' used as affect in negative ways, disturb

어차피 주인공은 내가 아니까 (영원한 건 없어) ***

Afterall I know who's the protagonist.

Afterall I'm not the protagonist.

(Nothing lasts forever)

하늘에 소리쳐 내가 뭘 잘못했나요

Shouting out to the sky

What did i do wrong?

행복만 가득했던 시절로 날 돌려놔줘

To those days which was filled with only happniess, [please] take me back there.

이 세상은 왜 나에게만 가혹해요 열심히 살아왔는데

Why is this world so harsh to just me?

I hustled(=worked hard) [in my life to this day].

억지로 날까려고 하지 마요

[Please] don't try to mock me when you even don't have any grounds for.

이런 고통이 내게로

Such pains came towards me,

*Such used as 'that something i just described'. Not as exclamation purpose.

벗어날 수 없다면 즐겨볼게요

if I'm stuck with this, I'll try to take[find] pleasures in it.

*similar with "When life gives you a lemon~" maybe with tiny little different vibe?

이 세상은 나에게만 가혹해요

This world's so harsh to just me.

더 이상은 날 건들지마 (이 정도면 됐잖아요)

From now on get off my back.*

(That can not be not enough.)

*get off my back used as back off, leave me alone in peace etc.

이 세상은 왜 나에게만 가혹해요

Why is this world so harsh to just me

이 세상은 왜 나에게만 가혹해요 열심히 살아왔는데

Why is this world so harsh to just me

I hustled(=worked hard) [in my life to this day].

억지로 날까려고 하지 마요

[Please] don't try to mock me when you even don't have any grounds for.

이런 고통이 내게로

Such pains towards me,

*Such used as 'that something i just described'. Not as exclamation purpose.

벗어날 수 없다면 즐겨볼게요

if I'm stuck with this, I'll try to take[find] pleasures in it.

*similar with "When life gives you a lemon~" maybe with tiny little different vibe?

이 세상은 나에게만 가혹해요

This world's so harsh to just me.

가혹해요 남우현 of 인피니트

#infinite #kpop lyrics #kpop #lyrics #nam woo hyun

0 notes

hhuta · 6 years ago

Text

so not only woohyun tried but also succeeded to kill me in my dream last night

#listen i know i got some issues bc thats the only thing that happens in my dreams.#LKAJLKDJALSJD #but wow it was so dramatic he was crying and me too i think idek why he had to shoot me aND HE FUCKIGN DID #well i finally died thanks woohyun for doing something leo could never #it was really so dramatic like i even said i love you when he shot me DKLLAJSDLSJKS HE AINT EVEN MY BIAS WHATS GOING ON LDJALKSDJSA #I REALLY WANTED MORE CONTEXT THIS TIME #but i also had another dream where ravi showed me his notebook where he writes songs and it had hello kitty stickers

5 notes · View notes

kpoporacle · 4 years ago

Text

Creature Of The Night (Woohyun)

Nam Woohyun x Reader

Words:

Contents/Warnings: Vampires, Implied blood, Slayers, Mention of the Reader being male at the end, Mention of boners, Mild violence, A little thirsty, If you watched Buffy this should be fine, aloof reader, supernatural elements

Summary: A vampire has been feeding in your town, a town that has a barely closed portal to hell, and Woohyun just won’t leave you alone.

A/N: Somewhat Buffy-esque. I was so intrigued by this idea, thank you for bringing it up, Anon!

《♡》

Modern fiction likes to tell the story of soft vampires. Tall, sexy, broody, probably glittery vampires. As a slayer, you knew better. They were monsters twisted by death and the curse, ruled by thirst. The only way the living were safe is when the last vampire had a stake through his heart.

You had made your round, still not finding Balthazar. He was by no means the last vampire, but he was definitely strong, feeding several times a week in your sleepy community. He was centuries old, and despite your supernatural physique, he was going to be a challenge. You wished he was like one of the weak young vampires, just crawled out of their grave yesterday....

“You really should pay more attention,” Woohyun said, making you scream in shock. You instinctively pulled your cross out of your back pocket, but kept it low.

“Would you stop sneaking in the shadows!” you exclaimed angrily. His low chuckle making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone. He’s too strong for you,” he said matching your pace. You could practically hear him smirk. “Luckily I am here to help.”

“I don’t need your help,” you spat, trying to quicken your pace. He easily matched it. Bastard didn’t need to breathe, so it didn’t bother him.

“You wore a turtleneck. Are you afraid he might try to bite you?” You tried to ignore him. He was just trying to get under your skin. “I don’t like it. I can’t see your neck. I like you neck.”

“Yeah, you tried to bite it too,” you said, stopping suddenly and spinning to face him. You didn’t know why you had agreed not to turn him to dust.

“And then you staked me!” He whined.

“Sorry, I missed.”

“It still hurt! Besides I could still get to your neck if I wanted,” He said, taking a step towards you. You raised the cross in front of you, and for a moment he flinched. But then he grabbed your wrist, pulling it to his chest, his skin sizzling under his ruffled shirt from the proximity. His head rolled back, eyes clenched closed, a groan escaping his lips.

“Do it on your own time, Woohyun,” you said, jerking your hand away and resuming walking down the street.

“Hey, don’t kink shame me!” Woohyun whined again.

“I am not the one who has a boner from getting burned,” You said smugly. You were so proud of yourself.

“You didn’t mind that time I was tied up on my knees!” He shouted. You turned to face him, jaw slack in shock. That was totally out of context, mostly, sort of, maybe.... Okay, maybe you had been somewhat turned on, but you didn’t know he knew! Damned vampire.

Before you could come up with a comeback, something slammed into you, sending you flying into a wall. You landed hard, your cross lay on the ground reduced to splinters. You were so disoriented, but you could hear Woohyun roar.

Balthazar wrestled with Woohyun, both seemingly equally matched. You hated seeing Woohyun like this. Claws on his fingers, his face twisted into a boney and angular shape, unsightly fangs, and his eyes glowing a disgusting shade of orange.

You staggered to your feet pulling a stake out of your back pocket, haphazardly trying to rush Balthazar. But he saw you coming, breaking free from Woohyun and sending you flying again. You were more prepared this time, so it didn’t completely discombobulate you.

You snapped back to the now when you heard Woohyun scream in pain. Balthazar had slashed him with his claws.

With great effort, Woohyun managed to hold Balthazar in place, his back completely exposed. You ran in again, landing your stake directly into his heart. After about a second, Balthazar burst into dust.

“Are you okay?” you asked Woohyun, panic gripping you. You cringed as his face morphed back to his human appearance.

It’s just a flesh wound, I’ll be fine,” He said, both of you starting walking down the road again, even if you were focusing on him for a change. “Hey, wanna hang out at the cemetery tomorrow? They just buried some people, and maybe they’ll turn!”

“Not interested!” You said, returning to your usual aloof mannerisms.

Aw, come on! I’ll bring doughnuts!” He said, skipping as he did.

“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “But I expect mine to have jam in the middle.”

“Yes! Just two boys, hanging out!”

“If it’s just ‘two boys hanging out’, then how come you have a boner again?”

“Shut up!”

#woohyun is my lover #nam woohyun #woohyun #namu #i want my namu back #woohyun x reader #infinite scenarios #infinite woohyun #infinite #male reader #male writers #vampire #buffy

28 notes · View notes

sunggyushines · 8 years ago

Photo

2/3 of Infinite’s dance line showing off their skills

#infinite #woohyun #hoya #mygifs #this isnt supposed to be serious btw #the mc asked them to show their thanks to their fans through something like a wink or performance or anything #and whoever was comfortable to come up and show it #and then hoya did the dance #and then woohyun followed #sorry i really didnt know what to put as a caption bc i felt like thsee four gifs are weird without a caption #and without context it just kinda seemed random #their faces while watching hoya vs watching woohyun though :))

230 notes · View notes

v-le · 6 years ago

Text

Kmusic: My artists in 4 months

Foreword: PHEW this one took a while.... but I have really had so much on my mind lately that i knew i just HAD to churn this one out asap... I also would’ve tried to include videos rather than images but it’s a pain in the butt... I guess my vids will be top secret for now hehe. But really. a true blessing, these 4 months. Ah, I still really cant believe it..

If you were to ask me how I felt about my first semester at Yonsei and simply the past 4 months in Korea, from August 21st to December 23rd, I would probably just emphasize how grateful I am. But to narrow down this deep affection for all the happenings, I would have to do so in a music context. It is such a fascinating and seemingly mundane thing to go on about: Why does my music mean what it means to me to this day? How have those values shaped my experiences in Korea so far? What does it mean for me going forward? These are questions I want to ask myself, reflect upon, and continue to explore as I await to begin another journey in Korea once again.

If I rewind to when I first started listening to Korean music, it would be when I was… I don’t even know. I was exposed to it since I was about 7 or 8 years old, when my sister was sucked into the very beginnings of OG K-pop: Wonder Girls, Big Bang, 2NE1, Super Junior, SNSD, SHINee, you name ‘em all. I’ve talked about this a lot, but during those days I was never particularly interested in that side of music. It didn’t make much sense to me and it just sounded mreh. But after several years of this exposure, I fell into my own K-pop obsession-hole starting with LEDApple, a very unassuming, catchy-music-making band. I was in it for the music. At first.

Okay, now fast forward past my kpop era: you can read all about it in my very extensive post from about a year ago here. But yes, lets leave that chunk of my life behind and think about where I stand from a “music maturation” perspective. Right here. Right now.

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment or day or time in which I fell into the “deeper” side of Korean music. I am pretty certain that it simply occurred naturally, gradually. What I know for a fact is that I owe so much of myself to my music. At any given point in my life thus far, my music has defined a large portion of my identity: it really does mean a lot to me. I am constantly listening to music. To narrow this down into my current self’s context, my music mostly consists of Roy Kim, Sam Kim, DAY6, Kim Feel, Fromm, Jung Sewoon, Eddy Kim, Kwon Jin Ah, and many many many others.

These artists, the music that they make, is not K-pop. It never will be. I don’t care what those stupid Spotify playlists call some of the songs from these musicians, but they are not and never will be K-pop. (At most DAY6 could come closest to fitting). My discovery of each and every one of these artists varies from person to person of course, but most of my sentiments remain the same all throughout. I would give my everything for these people. But I want to make it very very very clear: it is not necessarily these PEOPLE, these faces, these appearances, these artists themselves that I am oh-so enthusiastic about. It is their voice & music. That is honestly all it really comes down to at the end of day. It is and has always been about the music.

I owe my deep appreciation for my music to several various factors ranging from emotionally & mentally detached parents & family, my somewhat introverted personality, and my incessantly over-analytical mindset. However, what exactly constitutes this deep appreciation is what I want to explore. A certain fact is that I hated high school. As I grew up through the ages of 13 to 17, I completely despised the American public education system that was high school. Without getting into the complex details about my community that was the heart of Silicon Valley and the various cultural pushes, I just have to say that high school felt like a sort of mental torture for me.

And during all those times, when I needed it the most, when I felt so completely lost, when I felt like no one would listen to me, nothing could console my distressed heart and mind, I always fell back to many of those artists listed above. Particularly to Roy and Sam. I owe them SO MUCH. They literally changed my life.

Home. 영원한 건 없지만. Your Song. These three songs, my life songs. Their lyrics literally saved my life. They mean everything to me. Without these songs from Roy & Sam, I would not be where I am today.

All my artists that I mentioned make their own music. They write, compose, produce, everything. They are the true masters of their voices (see, not K-pop). And so, when I listen to them, when I absorb their voices & melodies, I can sometimes really feel their sincerity, their yearning. I am so thankful for what they have produced for this world and for my ears to hear. However, within the past 4 months, I got to see, know, understand, and FEEL these artists on a whole new level.

In chronological order, here is a list of the artists I saw live &/or in person during my time in Korea thus far:

08/31 Roy Kim & Son Seungyeon @ Picnic Concert

09/01 Monogram, Baek Yerin, Kwak Jineon, Paul Kim, Bol4, Crush, Urban Zakapa @ Someday Festival (Day 1)

09/02 Fromm, Jo Hyunah, Jung Sewoon, Roy Kim, Yong Junhyung & Yang Yoseob, K. Will @ Someday Festival (Day 2)

09/08 DAY6 @ You Made My Day Fanmeeting

09/20 Roy Kim @ SNU Fall Festival

11/02 Roy Kim & Kim Haon @ Daellim Univ. Halloween Festival

11/04 Nam Woohyun (& Jang Dongwoo, Kim Sunggyu, Lee Sungyeol) @ 식목일 (Day 3)

11/10 Fromm @ Seoul Music Forum Mini Concert & Free Fansigning

11/11 Eddy Kim @ Miles Apart Album Fansigning

11/22 Sam Kim @ "Sun And Moon" 1st Album Release Showcase

12/01 Sam Kim @ "Sun And Moon" 1st Album Fansigning

12/09 Fromm @ "Midnight Candy" Mini Album Release Concert

12/16 Roy Kim @ ROchestra Live Tour 2018 (Seoul Day 2)

12/21 Sam Kim @ Lotte Tower World Park Christmas Busking

12/22 DAY6 @ "The Present" Christmas Special Concert (Day 1)

Breakdown:

Free: 5 events

Paid Tix: 6 events

Album Purchase & Application: 4 events

🌹 Roy Kim: 5 times

🌚 Sam Kim: 3 times

🌓 Fromm: 3 times

🎸 DAY6: 2 times

As an avid fan of many of these artists for YEARS, like Infinite for 8 years, Roy for 5, Sam since his debut in Apr. 2016, DAY6 since their debut in Sept. 2015, Fromm for over 4 years, Eddy for over 5 years, etc etc. I NEVER thought I would actually get to see or hear these people live. Okay, granted I saw DAY6 live back in Oct. 2017 as well as Sam & the entire Antenna fam in Sept. 2017, both in LA. But doing 3 fansignings????? Meeting and talking with Fromm, Eddy Kim, AND Sam Kim???? Seeing Roy FIVE TIMES??????????? Three times for FREE, once at a festival, and then even being able to go his end-of-the-year solo concert???????? Y’all…. It was literally a dream come true. A stroke of luck tenfold. Twelvefold. I saw at least one treasured artist a total of fifteen times. Whether it was at a college busking event, the Someday music festival, a fansigning, a fanmeeting, or even a solo concert. I was somehow there.

Seeing Roy live was something I thought I would never ever ever in my lifetime get to do. As I explained in my 1st semester wrap-up post found here, Roy’s situation with school made my hopes seem very bleak from the get-go. But still, my luck persisted 5 times throughout. I almost, nearly, COMPLETELY failed to acquire a ticket for his ROchestra solo concert, Seoul Day 2 show. It was probably the most energy-draining, stressful, painful and TERRIBLE ticketing experience I have ever experienced. And trust me, I’ve done lots of ticketing before (unfortunately). But after 1 hour of staying glued to that PC bang computer screen, I managed. And I went. And maybe I’ll have to do a separate post for it, but Roy Kim’s concert on December 16th, 2018, was the best concert I have ever been to in my life. Easily. It was so breath-taking.

But yes, enough with Roy. Fromm is my ultimate indie goddess and she has a charm that is so indescribably perfect. She decided to release a mini album over a year since her last one, in the middle of November while I was there and I wanted to DIE. It was suchhhhh a solid release, and I even got to attend a free fansigning with her as well for her solo concert for the album release. I LOVE her cheeky personality so much. And she really is just sooooo kind. I couldn’t have much of a conversation with her due to the time constraint, but I at least got to snap a quick selfie heh (which i wont exposed bc privacy ya feel??). Her solo concert was gorgeous in every single way; I honestly would be willing to pay any price to go to it again in a heartbeat. Even though it was for her “Midnight Candy” album release, it was basically a Fromm discography concert because she sang EVERYTHING and I was THIS close to wanting to cry because I just felt so grateful & happy in those moments. I love her I really do. Ah, also, 2 out of the 3 times I saw her, I wrote to her & posted on Instagram and she liked both posts for me :”).

Sam…. My luck with Sam was out of this world honestly…. I still get goosebumps thinking about how blessed I was to see Sam 3 times, 2 times in very special instances. First off. He announced the release of his FIRST FULL album after a TWO YEAR & A HALF HIATUS. Y’all. This boy hadn’t released anything for 2.5 entire years since his debut and then suddenly WHAM he does it. Somehow right when I was in Korea. AH… I still….. I’m still screaming inside. I screamed aloud in my room for a good 5 minutes straight when I first saw the news, and yes, to this day I am still screaming. His three pre-release tracks were GORGEOUS & Sun And Moon, track 1, literally brought me to tears without even trying. I had been missing his voice and presence for so long…

And then, for the full album release, Antenna announced a post in which if you pre-order his album when it comes out & email the Antenna staff with the receipt showing proof, you will be put in a drawing to attend his live showcase on the night of its release. OHMYGOSH. I knew I had to do it. I struggled a little bit & even felt like I was doing everything so untimely, but I am SO blessed that I really was able to order & pay for it, shoot Antenna an email real quick, and then nervously await my results for like a week. That one Friday the results were to be emailed out, I remembering feeling extremely anxious all throughout the day. I desperately wanted to go…. And at 6:00PM…. I got the email!!!!! I was literally shaking, hands & knees trembling and everything. I actually got invited to the ‘Sun And Moon’ 1st Album Showcase!!! Y’all!!! It was so amazing. It was the night before I had to leave to Taiwan early in the morning so it was quite stressful, but still!!!!! I felt so honored to be there that night: the venue was extremely intimate and Sam was soooososoooo gooooddd and the tracks he sang were sooo beautiful and just… everything about it was like a dream. I was truly blessed.

A week later…. Antenna announced Sam’s first FANSIGNING & once again I was overwhelmed with this “OMG I WANT TO GO, but how, should I really, but what about….??”. It was a physical album-purchase-based application process which means I had to go to this specific bookstore in Gangnam, buy x-amount of albums, and based on that amount, my name will be put into a drawing that many times. Very basic fansigning grounds. I already pre-ordered his album for the showcase, so I honestly didn’t really need another one… but I decided to test my luck & just purchase 1 measly album & see if that ONE album will help me get chosen. And o boy. I GOT IN :”)). When I saw my name on that list in the official fancafe post, I couldn’t believe it….

On the day of the fansigning which was happening inside a mall, starting at a certain time I was able to walk in and choose a random number from 1-100 and since I arrived early, I got to choose pretty early as well. When I saw my number I literally gasped aloud: #7. I know it’s a corny & cliché favorite number but only bc infinite ok. Being #7 meant that I literally say FRONT & CENTER of the stage…not even stage. There wasn’t a stage... it was just an open area. My turn came around very quickly because I was early and let’s just say I was a fking mess, repeating thank you over and over & literally, incessantly telling him how thankful I am for his music and how grateful that after all that time he took to came back, he came right when I was in Korea and how I was at Antenna in LA & his showcase too and thank you thank you, yadda yadda. Yeah…..I suck at these things I really do. Then, at the end of it all, he took a picture with the crowd of fans and ended up sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME LMAOOOOOOO. Okay here is a picture of maybe my biggest life accomplishment??? jk but no rly LOL.

look ma, i made it :”)

But really, the fact that I actually got to talk to Sam & just try to relay all my thanks that I have been owing to him for many years… wow… I’m still in shock and I am just so eternally thankful. I used to think to myself “damn, I wish I could talk to Sam one day” and damn…. I really did do it…

Eddy Kim was also another meeting that I could have only dreamed of before coming to Korea… His last release was 4 goddamn years ago oh my gosh… This fansign application was not a random drawing like Sam’s but just a “buy his album at this bookstore & u get in” sort of thing. To be honest I could blatantly tell that Eddy’s popularity is definitely not as comparable to the other artists that I cherish & I was quite shocked by this revelation. I knew for sure in America, who the hell would ever know him. But even in Korea, he seemed… just really not that well-known, especially from a music perspective. It was interesting and even a little disheartening to see. He was very kind & cutely impressed with my Korean skills and we literally just talked in a bunch of Konglish & once again I just kept repeating how thankful I was for his music in my life. How I waited for so long and his release literally matched up with my time there as well. Even though I never got to hear Eddy sing live, I am more than happy with the fact that I simply got to chat with him & relay my heart as best as possible.

After doing 3 full fansignings I have fully realized that as grateful for the opportunities I am, they are so difficult and stressful… To be given such a short amount of time to spill out my heart is essentially impossible for me LOL. I’d rather much LOVE to just to sit down with these artists not to fangirl or cry, but to have a real, genuine conversation about their music and why it holds so much sentiment for me. I would love to ask questions about their music and I would love to share with them how much it means me & why I am so thankful at the end of the day. That’s what I really wish I could do. Because even as I hurriedly expressed my countless thanks and probably sounded like a hot mess, I feel like I still just came off as a surface-level fan saying their thanks. But noo! In reality, I just wanted to relay how much their music means to me (I literally just typed this wow repetition is gr8). Which I feel like I really couldn’t do properly… I couldn’t get my heart across all the way ☹ but it’s okay because as I’ve been repeating, I am infinitely thankful nonetheless.

My first DAY6 event, their 3rd year anniversary 1st fanmeeting, was a bit of a flop for me simply because they talked wayyyyy to much & played stupid games & everything… and it was cute, but not what I was there for. I kinda wished I heard more of them singing, but it’s okay. In no way am I undermining this monumental day because I know it meant a lot to the boys & fans collectively. Jae could not participate due to health reasons & it definitely put a huge damper on the entire atmosphere, but the members tried their best and the entire audience even consistently sang aloud all of Jae’s parts during the songs when his voice was not there. They also sang a never-before-released track with Jae and they all just cried a bunch and me, sitting there, watching those light-wrist-band-thingies glow & beam & shine in-sync with the music, all sorts of colors, in a massive wave of lights & fanchants & music sewn together… wow it was honestly stunning & one of the most awesome spectacles I’ve ever experienced. Korean fans are really something else….

Speaking of which, attending 15 events during my 4 months there taught me many things about Korean concerts & fans that I find so extremely fascinating.

For most concerts, whether they are super hype-y & K-pop-y or a ballad one with minimal need for movement, when there are seats, fans with stay seated for the most part. In America, I feel like all fans tend to automatically stand (for basically all K-pop acts) regardless of the seating. But in Korea, at my experiences with DAY6 in particular (I also have heard that BTS in Seoul was the same), fans stayed sitting basically all throughout. The most like bodily movements they require would be the waving of their lightsticks. It was honestly pretty refreshing to see a generally calm & collected audience, at least where there was seating.

The fanchants are out of this world !!!!! Especially for the 2 times I saw DAY6, the fans were so on point with their fanchants: they were loud and clear and crisp AND THEY MATCHED WITH THE LIGHTS ON THEIR WRISTBANDS AND EVERYTHING wow was that so cool to see… The fans are super in unison & it honestly adds such a new level of energy to the experience.

SINGING !! Of course, since all these fans are Korean, they can actually sing all of these songs at concerts, unparalleled to international fans lol. One really cool moment at DAY6 that I will probably remember forever simply because this song is gorgeous & means a lot to me… but at day 1 of DAY6’s ‘The Present’ xmas concert series, Wonpil said “We’ve been on world tour for a while now and I’ve been wanting to try this out… if I play this song, can you sing for me?” and of course we all unconditionally said yes. And he started to play 그렇더라고요 on the keyboard & the ENTIRE AUDIENCE caught on immediately & we all sang the entire intro & first verse together in unison, as loud as we could, as the members joined in one by one w/ their own instruments, just watching us as we SANG FOR THEM. It was so cute & we even did it again with 장난 아닌데. This sort of stuff…. Wow…. Can only really happen at a domestic concert, which was honestly so so so beautiful. I LOVED IT!!!

No crazy, constant screaming during every part of the performance. Fans in Korea honestly only scream when necessary… ya feel? Sometimes at concerts, I feel like fans are just screaming at the top of the lungs the entire time, during every second of a song. But Korean fans chant when there is a chant, and cheer & scream when it really fits the situation. I really liked this more toned-down atmosphere from the Korean audiences.

I think that’s all I can really narrow down from my various experiences at Korean concerts compared to the ones in America… It really is quite different though, and I feel so honored to have witnessed this comparison countless times. I am really just honored to be there at those moments in general.

Which brings back around to this… upgraded level of connection towards my artists. After seeing so many of them in person and more than once for that matter, when listening to their music now… something definitely sounds different. When I listened to these artists before I saw them right in front of my eyes, their real, authentic voices blasting into my ears, I still felt moved, I still felt goosebumps, choked up, a bulging affection sometimes. And not that I have lost those feelings, no, definitely not. Now… now, when I listen to these artists through my earbuds or through my laptop… I can literally hear them in my ear. Does that even make sense? Well, duh… of course I can hear them. But like… it’s like… I can hear them on a much more intimate level than ever before. Now, I can really imagine & sense these voices in my head. I can pick up the sound of their breaths, picture their expressions, and really just HEAR their voices as if they were physically singing into my ear right there in that moment, in person. It’s such a peculiar and special and unique feeling that is honestly so hard to describe with just words…

But to be honest like… to this day I still cannot wrap my head around everything. I can barely count and keep track of all the artists I saw and when I saw them and what they sang. I feel like SO MUCH happened that my mind can barely grasp it all, as much as it wants to do so so badly… I still can barely comprehend it… years ago I would cry to Sam Kim, ponder how amazing he would be live… and then literally somehow, he sang two songs like 7 feet in front of me, and even sat right next to me. I thought Fromm was a goddess from another world: but I somehow got to talk to her & even take a selfie?? What?? I thought the world would never let me see Roy who always has his school life to manage as well…. But I got to see him live 5 times?? And even go to his solo concert?? WHAT??????? HOW????????? YOU GUYS, I could honestly go on and on and on because it still all feels like a dream…

In particular with Roy Kim… I say this to myself all the time, the irony is just… wow. Who would’ve known that after years of watching countless fancams, effortlessly memorizing his scarce yet existent fanchants, also memorizing set-lists without even trying, becoming all-too-familiar with things like the way he talks, addresses the crowd, sings specific songs, even all the way down to the way he does adlibs for certain songs… I unknowingly picked up & knew these performance aspects SO WELL through pure admiration, enthusiasm and just LOVE for every song he sings. And who would’ve known, that years later, I would have my very own fancams to cry over. After years of literally watching almost EVERY fancam of him on youtube, at all the various events he performed at, some years more frequently than others, today I can proudly say that I have my very own fancams of him, too. Ohmygosh, it’s still so hard for me to believe…

It really just….. *breathes deeply & tries to recollect self for the 24980164th time*…. It just goes to show… No, okay I don’t really know what it goes to show… But one thing is a fact: loving, cherishing, being thankful for, dedicating so much of my emotional & mental strength towards these seemingly-no-one artists has paid off tenfold. No, billionfold. I don’t even know. I just…. I just never thought I could do and see and hear and experience the things that I did. Never. These people…. These people have given me so much, and although I tucked them deep into the folds of my heart for years, I never thought I could truly open up these treasured feelings one day & TRULY support them with my very own eyes & ears & heart. IN person. I am just so so so blessed. So thankful. Really. Always.

Now, it’s time to bring myself to reality & to think about what this means for me going forward. I don’t want to believe in my passion for my music as a phase: Infinite & all things K-pop wasn’t simply a phase for me. It literally was a maturation, a self-realization, a loss of support for the things I never really knew or understood until time started to pass. I don’t think I grew out of K-pop. I think I simply grew with K-pop & got to understand more about it. And with that understanding came a change of heart. Which is literally the title of my post from years ago: “why I fell out of love with K-pop”. It’s not just “Oh, I am older now. So, I don’t want to like this seemingly childish stuff”. No, it was never about K-pop’s image or whatever. I can’t emphasize more, but it always comes down to the music for me.

Infinite has been and is a piece of my life that I will never forget. A piece of my life that has literally brought me to where I am today. I sit here, with my experiences and knowledge and feelings, in part, due to Infinite. I can guarantee anyone that much. And so, no, they really weren’t just a phase. Things change, people grow older, time flows. That’s just how it works. Does my heart ache over old K-pop like every day? Hell yeah it does LOL. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only thank old & 2nd-gen K-pop for the amazing memories that it has given me.

And so, with my music and my artists today, is this all a phase? Will I stop being as enthusiastic years later, like I did with Infinite? You see, with Infinite, I was always apprehensive. At the age of 12, I KNEW that time would eventually take its toll & my blatant love would not necessarily transcend the years that will drag on in the future. But that never made my appreciation for them dim: it only grew stronger as the days went by. I think I am always apprehensive. I think I always fear losing the feelings that I feel with great passion & love at this moment in time. Just as Roy says, 영원한 건 없지만. Nothing lasts forever (but...). I literally think about this all the time. It is such an important concept to me, and it is how I motivate myself to be thankful for everything and everyone and to just take things one step at a time. And so, to really answer my question: is this all just a phase?

I really, honestly, hope… No, I just think not. I really do not think so. At the age of say, 24, five years from now, will I still be loving Roy & Sam & DAY6 & Fromm & everyone else? I really honestly hope so. For as long as they can make music, I can keep loving them, right? Just as Infinite has done since I was 11, 8 years ago, up until today, I firmly believe that my artists can continue this long-lasting impression on my life. They instill a sort of magic & sentiment in my life that almost nothing else in this world can do for me. And for that, I will stay grateful for & only hope for the best.

Roy is currently back in school right now, finishing up his last semester before he finally gets to graduate! I am excited and proud and a bit sad all at the same time. But honestly, it really just comes down to the humanness of these people. When I first saw Infinite back in 2013 as a lil 14 year-old, I guess you could say I was starstruck. I was like “that’s them??!?? Those dudes ive spent countless hours watching through the computer screen?????? THEY ARE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME?”. I had similar thoughts at the LA K-pop Festival in Apr. 2014 when I saw many many many of the big, og k-pop groups at that time. It was hard to believe that these people are real. I would say that my experience with the “With Antenna” in LA concert back in Sept. 2017 made me come to this important realization. That was the first concert where I actually spent the entire time sitting down and just listening. Listening to these wonderful musicians playing their instruments & singing gorgeous songs & just absorbing all that godly magic in the air at that place in time.

I really got to feel how human artists are at the end of the day. K-pop is always built up to be this larger-than-life dynamic, but real artists… No, they’re so much more different. They are simply people, like you and me, with a passion for their music & they wish to share that passion with the rest of the world. That’s it. The sincerity & genuineness that goes into my artists’ music can literally be felt from all the way across the world, just through a few audio snippets, fancams, and grainy Instagram videos. And that is seriously so beautiful. They are so amazing at what they do, they truly are.

Roy’s last two songs from 2018 were purely love song ballads, and I am not complaining or anything. As solid and classic as these tracks were, I still miss that acoustic, healing tone from him. Before he left for school again, he mentioned several times that he wants to come back with music that will console listeners. I was honestly so genuinely happy to hear this. He knows, he honestly, really does. He has even said it before, but he knows that his music can literally lift people back up from the dead. He wants to do that for them. For you and me, who struggle in life when the going gets rough, he wants to be of some sort of help, no matter how minuscule. He knows, he really does. And that is just so beautiful. I am so proud of him & I can’t wait to see what he will have in store for us in the coming months (after his grad, that is).

To all my artists that made these 4 months feel like a literal dream: Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Sincerely. Thank you. Always.

늘 고마워요.

#korean music #roy kim #rochestra #sam kim #sun and moon #fromm #midnight candy #day6 #infinite #woohyun #eddy kim #am i missing anyone #prolly am #sigh i still cant #im so so so blessed #thank you for everything #ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

5 notes · View notes