coming to the end of your date with Satoru and you want to film a TikTok video of yourself in memory of the view and also how good you looked. But for extra effect you wanted the wind to blow your hair so it looked like it was flowing in the wind in front of the setting sun, unfortunately there was no wind. So you had to take matters into your own hands…
“Omg toru, I didn't get any good videos wait.” You paused everything you were doing and ran up to the balcony of the restaurant he took you too. The sun hastily setting creating a warm hue in the sky
“We can go take them now look the sun is setting and everything! Might even take some videos of myself ngl.” Gojo exclaimed excitedly, he never wanted to miss out on an opportunity of doing stuff with you, whether it be filming a TikTok, baking, shopping… he liked what you liked.
“Who is we? Boy come help me take this video.”
“Lame, who wouldn’t want to see videos of me I’m literally the strongest.” He argued smugly.
“The only person who would probably like your video is Me, and possibly Megumi out of pity.”
“Your so mean to me I literally brought you on this date” he sulked
“Stop complaining and come blow on my face, there isn’t enough wind.”
“Why the hell am I blowing on your face.”
“Because I did my hair extra good today and I want it to flow in the wind like those beach girls on TikTok.”
Without questioning you again, Gojo positions himself standing a little bit to your side making sure he wasn’t in the frame of the camera. And blew with all his might.
“Why are you blowing so HARD… you are NOT the big bad wolf.”
“IM LITERALLY DOING WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO.”
“I ASKED YOU TO BLOW NOT CREATE A SPITTING HURRICANE WITH YOUR MOUTH.”
“Stop screaming at me you’re making me sad.” He cooed playfully
“You play too much. Never mind, let’s just go I give up.” You brushed off, you reconned you could just do it the next time he brought you out on a site-seeing date.
“No, please okay I won’t play around this time. I’ll do it properly.”
You stopped for a second debating if you really wanted to retry since you had already closed the app and put your phone away. However you gave in (very easily probably because of the forced pout Gojo had on his face.
“Omg okay fine stop making that face you’re scaring me.”
And so you go again, this time Gojo blows more gently, the air was more caressing as it blew past your face and through the strands your hair. However he stopped before the video had ended which confused you, causing you to turn slightly ready to be met with a harsh blow. But to your surprise, Gojo had walked into the frame dropping a gentle peck on your soft lips before taking your phone and smiling at the camera.
“Aww how nice, toru. I thought you were gonna start playing around again.”
“You didn’t expect me to kiss you huh? I’m so unpredictable.”
“No you’re just really silly, I already knew you were gonna do something like that.”
“Don’t lie now baby.”
You both watched as the video played on repeat, Gojo staring intently locking onto the features on your face and how the aroma of the sun setting behind you had enhanced your beauty even more. You were so enticing. He thought, he could never keep it to himself. That would be selfish
“You’re so beautiful, can I get a kiss back?”
— I saw this TikTok before going to bed and was like wait this is kinda cute imagine how funny it would be with satoru, so here is my thoughts basically LOL. I’m tired now goodnight this drained me omg.
weird things about my town that lowkey remind me of tma
god, this is going to be a long post.
okay so. i grew up in a town in the middle east (about 200 people), with my bestfriend Whom I Will Not Shut The Fuck Up about apparently, and it was a strikingly different experience to most people who've grown up in the middle east, or in america. it was yk, a rich people town, populated and run mostly by generational wealth owners. as a result, our town was very hush-hush, despite it being in the Crackass Of Nowhere.
i started listening to tmagp about two months back, under the instructions (*cough cough coercion cough cough*) of my lovely moots (im looking at you @forflightlessbirds and @need-a-name-101) i've noticed a few things which may be...off.
the first thing i need to clarify are the rules. we had five of them, that nobody really stuck to, but we all knew of. the rules in and of themselves are normal things any parent tells their child, but weirdly specific. there weren't really any repercussions if we didn't stick to the rules - but most of the time, we didn't like breaking them. they were, as follows :
don't tell strangers your real name, and if you do, run and tell the head of the community center.
if people approach you about 'coming to god' (i.e, christian/muslim/jewish missionaries) tell them god has moved.
do Not enter the junkyard at night. (we broke this one)
always carry a knife. most of us were given jade knives, but my bestfriend got a gold one. ive teased him about it most of our lives, even after we shifted.
take a buddy with you everywhere, and if you can't find one, don't go out.
me and my brother have broken all these rules about once at least, except for the knife one and the junkyard. me and my bestfriend broke the junkyard one though. we shifted together when we were barely teens. first, we lived in the uk, then in the states. we headed back home and barely spoke for a year before he died, at the ripe old age of 17. i miss him, but thats not the point.
it was only after we moved, that we realized how truly Fucked Up our town was. we were living in the middle of war ravaged county, and we had swimming pools, and ipads, and sunset cocktails? obviously i didn't realise it as a kid, as a pre-teen even - but looking at it from the outside feels like a gut punch.
now here's where im going to yap about the similarities between tma and my shitstorm of a childhood and hopefully Will Not Piss Anyone Off. if you're from my town - you'll know exactly what im talking about, and i seriously hope you reach out and/or message me.
the things
everyone knows the things. they're just. there. kinda like the bogeyman your mom scares you with when you don't eat lunch except most of us have just accepted that they're real
old man hanna
if you've lived here, you know him. he's weird, he's kooky, and he's got a million books and tape recorders and vinyls. he's maybe the only person in that place that doesn't come from money. he hates electronics, says they can't capture things the way old school stuff does
the graves
now, our town is mainly christian. uber arab christian. we've got graves, we've got cemeteries. but outside it, on the outskirts, lie a long line of unmarked graves. are they from the arab-israeli war? the gulf war? lord knows
the 2015 blackout
this was the creepiest thing that happened here. the blackout, and then the radio stations playing that reading of the bible? my parents shut everything off and rushed me and bulos to the master bedroom
the skydiving institute
i have no idea if the government approved this godforsaken place, but it was there. it led to the disappearance of nahren, who was deathly afraid of heights but she said she was ready to face her fears
the church
when i shifted to the uk, i saw the proceedings of the greek orthodox church there. and let me tell you - it's so different to our church. for starters, our church doesn't even seem to have any affiliation to the goc, even though it should?? the entire thing is so different
the pond
now this is rather controversial. our town's pond was created in the early 70's, but no one knows How or Why. realistically, there shouldn't have been any water supply that far inland. and the water should not be that salty. we don't acknowledge it, and no one drinks from it, even if its really hot. there's a sign outside that asks parents to hold their children tightly when passing by the pond
the soldiers
they're mainly american (at least the one i met was), but they rarely enter our town. and when they do, they can only stay in one specific motel - we're not allowed to talk to them. once i did, though. im still...fucked up from it
there's a lot more, but i don't think y'all wanna know about my fucked up town anymore. just writing this is giving me the heebie-jeebies.
we usually aren't allowed to leave our town once we're in it. but my dad got special permission for us to leave, before the divorce. so we did. and then my parents got divorced. which made our family Not Happy, so we weren't exactly welcomed back.
that being said, i don't think there's anything really wrong with my town. it's just a bit...different. and i love it. even if it doesn't seem to love me right now.
god, i think i need to go lay down. i hate remembering all this.
A/n: lets pretend that thats Tommys hand in the gif lol!
Tommy x Evan “Buck”
•This is a sequel to my previous story Misunderstanding
Summary: Tommy and Evan are still working on getting their relationship back on track after Kaleb kissed Tommy after a misunderstanding. Evan is still kind of hurt by it even though he knows Tommy wont hurt him hes become insecure about his body now that he saw how well fit Kaleb was. Evan hides it well but when hes on a call what hes been doing to his body comes out.
Tw: Eating disorder, self harm
———
~Tommys POV~
I open my eyes when i hear a ringing sound coming from the nightstand. I look at the time 6am, time to get ready for work. I turn off the alarm and reach over to wake up Evan but to my surprise his side of the bed is empty. I look towards the bathroom but it was empty.
Its been three months since the Kaleb incident, Evan and I’s relationship has hit a small bump but we are slowly working on it. I’ve been really trying to show Evan how much i truly care about him through everything and anything.
Saying i love you a lot, cooking homemade meals for us, surprising him with little gifts.
I let out a big streach as i get put of bed to go find Evan. When i walk down stairs i can smell sausage and eggs. I look on the stove and see a pan that has scrambled eggs, sausage, hasbrowns, and onions in it. I hear a steady thump coming from the garage.
When i open the door i see Evan running on the treadmill in a sweat suit. “Evan!” I say loud so he can hear me. Its 6am why is he running on the treadmill? When he doesn’t respond i walk over in front of the treadmill.
Evan comes to a stop when he sees me, sweat dripping down his face, he looks exhausted. “How long have you been down here?” I ask him. “Only an hour.” He answers. “I left you breakfast on the stove.” He tells me. “Wheres your breakfast?” I ask. “I already ate.” He says. I notice he broke eye contact with me when he said that which made me question if he actually ate or not.
“Oh, what did you eat?” I ask him. “You know, just my norm.” He says shrugging his shoulders. He moves over to the mat on the floor and starts doing pushups. As hot as he looks working out im a little concerned about him.
“Evan.” He looks up at me as he continues on. “Why are you working out so early?” I ask. “Just getting a quick work out before work.” He says as if this is something he does everyday.
“Why dont you come and eat with me and then we can take a shower together before we go to work since we wont see each other.” I suggest. Which i would like to spend sometime with him before we head to our shifts.
Evan gets up and walks into the kitchen with me. I grab the pan and i spilt my breakfast with him even though he tried to stop me. I told him that after that work out he needs to eat again. After we ate we went back upstairs and took a shower.
I wrap my arms around Evan as i bring him closer to me feeling myself against him. I give soft kisses on his neck as i move my hands down his body. As im about to take him into my hand he turns off the water. “Evan?” I question, he usually loves a quick one before a shift.
“Not right now.” Is all he says and gets out of the shower. “Is everything okay?” I ask him. He shakes his head yes as he drys off. I dont let it get to me its been awhile since we had intimacy so im craving it but i need to respect Evan and how he wants to handle us at the moment.
As we say our goodbyes in the drive way before heading our separate ways i tell him how much he means to me and that if theres anything he needs to talk to me about he can. Evan insures me that everything is okay, i smile at him giving him one more kiss before we both get into our cars.
I watch as Evan backs out of the driveway and drives off. I get my phone out of my pocket and pull up Eddies number. I type out a text to keep an eye on Evan but hesitate to hit the send button.
If i send it then it will cause a worry and Evan might be upset about it or it’ll be a good thing to have another person who is close to Evan checking on him.
I ended up sending the message anyways and immediately got a text back saying ok. That made me feel a little better but not a lot.
———
~Bucks POV~
I arrived at the station pretty early, i sat in my car for a few moments and thought about Tommy. Hes been really trying to make up for the Kaleb situation three months ago. I know now that it wasnt Tommy fault at all but part of me is still clinging on to the anger i felt.
I still love Tommy i know he was questioning me alot this morning because i think only insane people exercise at 5 in the morning. But when i saw how fit Kaleb looked i figured Tommy will like me more if i was smaller.
I open my door grabbing my bag and headed into the firehouse. I threw my bag in my locker and changed my clothes. I headed over to the work out area and got on the treadmill and started jogging making my way to speed.
“Hey Buck.” Eddie says walking up to me. “Hey.” I say focusing on my running. “Can you help me with something?” Eddie asks. “Sure.” I tell him. I slow down on tbe treadmill as it comes to a stop. When i go to step off i get real light headed all of a sudden and kind of stumble back.
“Woah, you okay Buck?” Eddies asks grabbing my shoulder to steady me as i grab the arm of the treadmill. “Um yeah. Yeah im fine.” I say waving a hand. My head stops spinning and i can focus now. Eddie looks at me making sure im actually okay before we go off and do whatever he needs.
We had some calls come in but they all went smooth. Eddie kept checking in on me though, i dont know why.
We are back at the station now and Bobby is cooking dinner while the others are upstairs playing a game. They asked me to join but i wanted to go down and get another work out in.
“Buck, Dinner!” Eddie yells from the balcony. “Okay, coming!” I yell back. I think about how i’m going to do this because if i dont eat they are going to start asking questions. Its not easy to lie about eating at work then it is at home.
I head upstairs and took my seat at the table. “You need to go shower Buck.” Hen says scrunching her nose. “Sorry.” I say, I think this is a good excuse, i can shower while they eat and just say im going to eat when i get done. “No sit down Buck. You can shower when we are done.” Bobbh says raising his fork at me when instood back up.
“Why are you working out so much? That was like your fith work out today.” Eddie asks. “Just trying to stay in shape.” I answer, which isnt a lie.
When we finished dinner i went to the bathroom to shower but first i went into a stall and squatted in front of the toilet. I took my two fingers and stuck them down my throat making myself gag in till i threw up.
When i finished i was about to get in the shower when the bell rang. I swished some water in my mouth and splashed some on face and headed to the trucks.
“Buck you okay?” Hen asks looking at me with a weird expression. “You’re awfully pale.” She reaches her hand out and feels my face. “Yeah im fine.” I tell her, even though i was fighting the urge to pass out. I needed to keep my focus, we were on a call.
When we got to the scene it was an apartment fire, me and Eddie were searching for a young boy on the 5th floor who got separated from his mother.
My head felt like it was going to fall off, i was so dizzy i dont think i was walking in a straight line. Walking up the stairs with my gear on almost took me out. “Buck, are you okay?!” Eddie asks me putting his hands on my shoulder staring at me through his mask. “Yeah.” I shout trying to focus. But there was too many things to focus on.
“Buck, Eddie. The little boys been found, get out of there.” Cap says on the radio. “Come on Buck.” Eddie says, he knows something is wrong and hes about to get it out of me as soon as were out of here.
We are walking back down the stairs, im in front all of a sudden the room starts spinning and my eyes roll back. The last thing i heard was “Buck!”
———-
~Tommys POV~
“Hello?” I say answering my phone. “What hospital?!” I leave the station telling Stevens i have an emergency. I get in my truck and drive to the hospital Evan is at.
My heart is racing, Eddie called me telling me that Evan blacked out on a call in an apartment building and fell down the stairs. Hes at the hospital now.
When i arrive i rush in and go straight to the nurses station. “Evan Buckley.” I tell her. “Tommy.” I hear a familiar voice my head snaps in the direction and i see Bobby.
“Where is he?” I ask him. Bobby leads me to Evans room. When i walk in i see him sitting up in the hospital bed. A big bruise on his shoulder, i guess from where he hit the wall and the oxygen tube in his nose.
“Im so glad you’re okay. You scared me.” I sat on the side of his bed and wrapped my arms around him. He winced a little at that but rested his head on my shoulder.
The doctor came in and informed me that Evan hasnt been eating and has been overworking himself. Eddie also told me that Evan was constantly running on tbe treadmill everytime they were back at the station.
“Why are you doing this to yourself?” I ask him. “Please tell me the truth.” I held his hands in mine. “So i can look good.” Evan says, voice low. “You already look amazing Evan.” I tell him confused.
“No. Kaleb looked good. I need to look like him.” Evan snaps. My heart sunk and i felt for Evans pain. Im stunned and upset that i didnt catch this before.
“Evan, i love the way you look. I love you for who you are. Dont you ever compare yourself to someone else. Because i don’t want someone else, i want you.” I run my hand across his cheek cradling his face in my hand wipping away his tears.
“I’m sorry. I dont know why im still caught up with this.” Evan apologizes. “Dont apologize Evan. Its okay i promise. I understand, i would still be upset too if the roles were reversed, but its not. We’ll get there Evan just please talk to me.” I ask of him. He nods.
“Just please dont hurt yourself. I cant lose you.” I give him a kiss both of our lips shaking together.
... as a veteran 2000s pop punk fan, I heard the term hiatus and immediately 1. got back in bed and 2. opened my fic wip folder like alrighty if they're stepping back bitch we're stepping up; we're all artists and writers now ashdksj
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
i got to meet scorpy, baaulp, holly, trog, kami and the tortured soul of wayne today :') i finally got to gift scorpy the socpens funko from years ago. a quest finally completed.
they were all so so kind and i couldn't be happier to finally get to meet the people who've inspired me for years 🥹 thank you rtvs!!!
i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies
BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...
me pushing myself further with my art drawing really cool perspectives and whatever with the Duo and then i turn around and make lame cutesy ship art waaahhah 😭😭😭
dont read the tags on this if you havent watched gbc i just ramble spoilers 😭 just uhh screaming yknow. mostly mmnn but i like the other characters i swear its just these guys are making me insane
it's funny. mums been in the whatsapp rishta groups for years looking for someone i might marry. she'll send me a profile once in a while and ask what i think, if she should contact his parents or not and most of the time i say yeah, alright. nothing ever comes of it though, so when my dad calls me after work and says mum spoke to him about a rishta she's thinking of moving forward with i'm intrigued, but not particularly invested.
mum's really picky, i tell him. this probably won't go anywhere but we may as well see it through, right? dad is hesitant, but agrees when i say that i do want an arranged marriage.
but then things do move forward and the next thing i know, he is going to visit us with his parents. on the day, my uncle picks me up from work so i don't have to walk. you don't have to make a decision today, he tells me. this is just a first visit. my cousin helps me get ready and i am reminded of the similar scene in the movie vivah. nothing has to happen today, she tells me you guys are just meeting today. the thought does nothing to settle the nerves roiling in my stomach and i try to go back to my room three times instead of going downstairs until my cousin practically shoves me down them.
i enjoy meeting his mum, even though she immediately clocks my nervous clasping and unclasping of my bracelet. she hugs me as if i'm her own daughter and is so happy to see me that my heart lightens. eventually, we go to the other sitting room where the men are sitting-where he is. my nerves flare up again but he doesn't look up from his hands clasped in his lap when we walk in.
too nervous to speak, i only answer say anything when a question is directed at me and try to sneak quick glances at him across the room instead. his mum catches me more than once and smiles knowingly at me. we meet each others eyes only once for a split second and it makes my heart pound rapidly in my chest. when he speaks, i force myself to look at anyone other than him. he has a nice voice, my brain whispers and i bite my tongue, hard.
they leave, and we say they'll know our decision after a couple months. i know what my answer will be though. later, when they get back home and his mum calls my mum, i stand outside the door to eavesdrop, my heart in my throat but i can't stop my grin when i hear his mum say he's happy to go ahead with this, because there was a part of me that still worried he'd see me in person and go NOPE. she suggests that we get to know each other over the next few months and i silently beg my mum to agree. i know that where she is from, in her tradition, the bride and groom speak once or twice before the wedding if they're lucky, and that things are still done that way back home, but just as im gearing up to argue against that, she agrees. it's a miracle!
of course, chronically shy person that i am, the thought of our first conversation taking place on our mums phones is terrifying so instead i ask to get his number so we can text first. she sends his number but theres no way i'm texting first so i send them my number and thankfully he gets the hint and texts me first. i hope you don't mind me texting, i'm just shy still. i say. that's fine, he reassures me. we have time.
time, as it turns out. flies. it doesn't take long to move from texts to voice notes, to phone calls. he really does have a nice voice, i find out, and its not as awkward as i thought it would be. i didn't actually think that we'd talk that much, maybe once a week at most and yet...
i almost cried last night because we were talking about going to Pakistan together next summer and I remembered how when I was a teenager I used to daydream about going to Pakistan with my spouse and visiting all my family with him.
then over the years I sort of gave up on that idea because I'm not the type to go out and meet someone and in the desi arranged marriage market whose gonna choose me?
and now I'm 26, and we talk multiple times a day and when I catch myself thinking oh he isn't really interested, he's just talking to me because he has to to get to know me, why would anyone actually like me?? I find myself countering with well actually if that was the case why would he start calling you every day? how come you went from one call a day ending with 'i'll talk to you tomorrow' to him calling you on his way home from work and 'i'll call you after dinner' when he gets home to a THIRD call after maghrib right before bed? those are not the actions of a man who is uninterested!!
hanaas insecurities- 0, hanaas logic- 1
anyway idk where this is going except i never thought i'd be this excited and happy when it came time for me to get married but here i am and it is SO SCARY to realise that i am maybe possibly (definitely) falling for him but wow, and like? (literally the other day i was telling him a story from when i was a kid and the story had such a silly ending but it was unexpected and he laughed really hard in surprise and it made my heart almost explode i swear its so fun to make him laugh)
but like there's SO MANY logistics i'm restarting my driving lessons so i can pass before i move and i literally just got my new job in april but i'm gonna have to give my notice lmao and i've already started looking for new jobs but GAH so much stuff is happening and yet at the same time i feel so calm about it all it's wild i'm just vibing trying to enjoy my summer holidays and having the highlights of my day being when he calls lmaooo
Comte Drama CD Translations, Track Seven: "To You Who Are So Lovely" - Ending
I'm not a professional yada yada yada, these are just my rough transcriptions of each track in the CD because I need fodder for my simping.
This one reads a bit like a love letter left for MC, it's another sweet one:
…Indeed, the sand in the hourglass has fallen. It appears my day with you is over. (I'M DISTRAUGHT TOO DW BEAUTIFUL)
In this way, every moment trickles into another ceaselessly…yes, forever.
Even now as I say it, the word “forever” drives a painful wedge in my heart.
I often wonder at the essence, the weight that word carries--so often spoken with admiration and yearning by humankind.
I think this is the first time in my life I ever went "philosopher (affectionate)" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I could listen to him all day [contented sigh]
I know very well…just how heartbreaking it is.
I was shaken by that never-ending, pathless darkness…until you gave me the hope of “now.”
A vampire who lives forever, and a woman who lives a finite life, hoping for a better tomorrow.
I’m not sure what will become of my love for you that sprouted at the boundary between “forever” and “now.”
…But I promise you this.
I will never let you go.
When I give you eternal love…
Let’s spend that time together.
Man the way I act up when I hear fictional man say "I will never let you go" [INSERT LOUD BARKING] it's a promise, Abel 🥺💜
It may turn out to be a bumpy road…but, don’t worry. We’ll take every step of the way hand-in-hand.
When I get lost…you’re so kind and strong
It makes me sure that if we do ever get lost, we’ll worry about it together, and find answers together.
Like a waltz, let’s take each other’s hands…and live together.
Okay all my usual court jester energy aside, I really am so fond of this motif throughout his stories. This idea that being in a relationship is about being there for each other, about promising the other will never be alone. I guess they really just embody what marriage is at its best, for me? Like not necessarily that there's only one way to be married, but that it should be about helping each other and caring about each other? Building a life and sharing that happiness, an enduring love that grows the more two people are together.
Holding hands and dancing, I'm so...
And one day, I’m sure I will…
…I’m sure that I’ll turn you into a vampire. At that time, let’s live together forever.
From the moment I met you that day, in Paris of the 21st century…it felt like the frozen hands on the clock of my life began to move.
I was determined that I would never fall in love with a human again.
I was moved by your pure and single-minded thoughts, and I wanted your love.
A year later, ten years later, one hundred years of accumulating this “now” I’ve received from you…
In the far distant future, I want to see you beside me.
I found you in eternity…I love you, and I will dedicate my pureblood life to your fate--
If y'all need me I will be wasting away, ty--
"In the far distant future, I want to see you beside me." I WANT THAT TOO, GORGEOUS
Man the way my brain is just so: the only kind of man I want is one that can go "I wanted your love 🥺👉👈" and "I wanted her blood to run down my mouth." AT THE SAME TIME
I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent