#no bitches except mama

[lisa972kdlz]

«Toutes Pas des putains sauf maman ❤️»

«Je ne suis pas anti-social, je suis anti-stupid»

I like to believe they wear those tee-shirts 😂

Let me believe it !

(By the way do you know how to have a good quality with the pictures? Because it's pretty annoying–)

Also, I don't know if the phrase on Nightmare's tee-shirt is known from other countries, but it was slogan we had (HAD fortunately) a lot in France xD

Nightmerde : Pourquoi j'ai des vêtements ?

Me : Pourquoi tu poses la question ?

I didn't realize it until later, but I think I was inspired by this fanart of Sasha and Grime from Amphibia - now that I think about it, it's pretty obvious.

https://pin.it/2Hq7GnV63

And the image on Error's t-shirt is obviously one of the countless t-shirts you can find on Pinterest with this famous sentence xD

https://pin.it/7kZWr4fUK

Error!Sans belongs to @ loverofpiggies

Fanon!Nightmare belongs to @ jokublog

[mrmeepsmadmind]

his horns (finials) (idk)(ears)(whatever) shaking... the jumping ??? the struggling 😭 the off center twitching ..he is PISSED. AWF !!!!!!

[aurumacadicus]

I’m gonna throw this out there.

For years, Tony’s done holidays with the Rhodes family. Rhodey grabbed him by the scruff and yanked him out of the dorm the moment he realized Tony wasn’t going to his own home for Christmas, and he’s just... shown up at their house ever since. He’s always welcomed, always feels loved maybe even more than at his own home during the holidays, but he knows it’s temporary. Someday, Rhodey’s going to have someone special to bring home, and Tony will have to bow out. Still, until that point in time, he’s going to hold onto the holidays he has with them as tightly as he can.

Of course, it happens eventually. Rhodey meets Carol, and he’s smitten instantly. Tony likes her, too. She’s tough and snarky and gives as good as she gets, and she’s the only girlfriend he’s had that wasn’t put off by Tony and Rhodey basically lying on top of each other or Tony wandering into Rhodey’s room every morning and pestering whether they wanted to go out for brunch. But Christmas is coming. Rhodey and Carol have been dating for seven months. It was time to meet the family. Rhodey went to meet her friend Maria and daughter Monica for Thanksgiving, and Carol was going to the Rhodes’ for Christmas.

Tony had spent Thanksgiving with his maybe-boyfriend and his friends (he doesn’t know if they’re dating and at this point he’s too scared to ask). Normally he’d go to the Rhodes’. But. That’s for Carol now. She’s Rhodey’s partner. Maybe, after she’s more settled into their relationship, Tony could come back. As it stands, he’s always been sort of the spare piece. He’s used to it. Maybe he can spend Christmas with his maybe-boyfriend again. Or... maybe not. Steve probably had plans with his own family. Friends. Friend-family. Whatever. He doesn’t really want to ask. Thanksgiving was... friend-friendly. He knew Christmas was more family-oriented. He doesn’t know what to do. He feels sort of paralyzed. He hasn’t had to choose what to do for the holidays for fifteen years. Maybe he should just... work? That way he won’t be putting anybody out. He’d been invited to Steve’s NYE party. He just had to spend a few days alone beforehand. It would be fine.

“Tony, we’re ready,” Rhodey says after coming in from one last trip to Carol’s car.

“Okay,” Tony answers, wondering if it would be too weird to smile as he waves them off.

Rhodey stares at him for a moment, then asks, “When’s your boyfriend getting here?”

Tony blinks. “...Um?”

“...He’s driving up with you, right?” Rhodey prods. When Tony just stares at him, too confused to speak, he adds, “Mama said she wanted to meet our beaus. You remember that, right? You have to. You made a face when she said ‘beaus’ and then had to sit through a lecture on how it was gender inclusive specifically for you. It was when we told her we’d be going somewhere else for Thanksgiving.” When Tony only continued to blink, he said, “Tony. You’re coming to our house for Christmas.”

“I am?” Tony asks hopefully.

“Tony,” Rhodey begins, and then sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah, Tony, of course you are. I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear. I know how you are.”

Tony stares at him for a moment, then asks, “Can I still come, even if my maybe-boyfriend isn’t going?”

“Why isn’t your boyfriend coming? Why are you calling him your maybe-boyfriend,” Rhodey adds sternly. “Steve sleeps over three nights a week. Sometimes four.”

“And you still come in and bother us about brunch,” Carol adds, stepping inside as well.

Tony just blinks at her. “Everyone likes brunch.”

“I like sleep,” Carol says, at the same time Rhodey bursts out, “Does he know you don’t know you’re dating?!”

“...I obviously did not,” Steve says, standing in the doorway.

“Eep,” Tony says, and then flees to the bathroom under everyone’s incredulous stares.

Steve packs Tony a bag while Rhodey tries to cajole him out, but in the end, Carol gets nervous about being late impatient and rams her shoulder into the door so it breaks off its hinges, then carries Tony out while he, Rhodey, and Steve are too stunned to say anything about it.

[cy6net]

:3

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ make it known (op81)

You and Oscar have been friends for almost two decades and it’s been smooth sailing, except for now—when you have to make it publically known you're pining for him to even notice.

oscar piastri x childhood bestfriend!reader smau / face claim: none :D

warnings/notes: none really? one kinda bitchy comment from oscar bc he's king of the sassy man apocalypse. i love this so much, also do we like the new insta post format ?? im kinda meh about it.

liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, and others...

uruser: last week of cramming before the summer ( and visiting my favorite aussie in monaco ...)

user1: literally my queen.

nicolepiastri: best of luck with finals !!

⤷ uruser: thank u mama piastri !! 🩷

user2: best of luck yn!!

oscarpiastri: see u soon loser

⤷ ururser: u too bitch <3

⤷ logansargeant: what book are u reading now??

⤷ uruser: rereading pride and prejudice again

⤷ logansargeant:so we're watching it again after monaco ? @ oscarpiastri

⤷ oscarpiastri: movie night !!!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others...

uruser: ' i know im just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you ' 🩷

user3: stop who are u pining for queen ??

oscarpiastri: now whats all this then.

⤷ landonorris: u sound like @ georgerussel

⤷ uruser: lando don't bring more brits on my page pls im scared of u people

⤷ georgerussell: right, whats all this then?

⤷uruser: BACK!!! OUT!!! SHOO!! ALL OF U BOYS. THIS IS FOR THE GIRLS.

user4: oh honey its BAD.

logansargeant: oh this is the approach?

⤷ uruser: im desperate man.

⤷ oscarpiastri: wow. i introduced you to logan and you tell him your secrets before me?

⤷ logansargeant: oscar. i beg you to use your brain.

⤷ user5: logan what do you KNOW?

liked by laufey, nicolepiastri, oscarpiastri, and others...

uruser: new low: crying over lovesick by @ laufey

oscarpiastri: and you still wont tell me who this is about?

user6: and shes so real for this !!

laufey: NO. i didn't mean to make you cry beautiful :(

⤷ ururser: you've revived me by commenting so its ok queen <3

user7: hot take: she's pining over oscar.

⤷ user8: clearly you havent been an oscar fan since prema. this is not a new take LMAOO

user9: oscyn truthers RISE

nicolepiastri: you are too pretty to cry over a pretty song ! be brave and follow your heart !

⤷ uruser: i would if i wasnt afraid it would all go horribly wrong :(

⤷ nicolepiastri: trust me, if he's as smart as he was raised to be, it wont!! 😉

⤷user10: MAMA PIASTRI KNOWS?

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...

uruser: we'll end up like always.

user12: second time shes posted that handwriting....

user12: can someone explain how she and the f1 grid know eachother?? im so confused

⤷ user13: yn is oscar's childhood best friend!! her older brother karted with oscar and logan so she ussed to hang out with them a lot. shes an engineering student at MIT right now :)

lilymhe: oh my god STILL?

alexalbon: this is gonna go to after belgium PAY UP @ logansargeant

⤷ logansargeant: let me have faith alex please

⤷ uruser: i cannot BELIEVE you bet on this.

user14: is oscar writing the notes??

⤷ user15: you might be onto something...

logansargeant: we need to enact phase two. i swear it will work.

⤷ nicolepiastri: uh oh. be careful logan !!

⤷ logansargeant: i will mama piastri !

⤷user16: god speed logan

liked by williamsracing, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...

uruser: help me tom cruise !! (i got abducted by williams this weekend)

tagged: logansargeant, alexalbon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri

logansargeant: tom cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me !! ( it was great to have you !!)

user17: oscar only in the group photo... logan in almost every picture... yn and logan quoting talladega nights?? we are SO OVER OSCYN TRUTHERS.

williamsracing: blue is a nice change of color for you!

⤷ oscarpiastri: no >:(

⤷ uruser: LMAO OSCAR PLS

oscarpiastri: WOW. my TWO BEST FRIENDS hang out WITHOUT ME.

⤷ uruser: you both hang out without me ALL THE TIME.

⤷ logansargeant: i am the superior driver

⤷ oscarpiastri: and who has a seat next year

⤷ uruser: JESUS CHRIST OSCAR 😭

user18: IS THIS JEALOUSY?

user19: jealousy on oscar is FUNNY

alexalbon: i would say something but im afraid oscars gonna come at me too

⤷ oscarpiastri: 🧍‍♂️

⤷ alexalbon: @ uruser get ur man im scared

⤷ uruser: not my man

lilymhe: so fun to see you this weekend <3

liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, logansargeant, and others...

uruser: i forgot cats get jealous....

tagged: oscarpiastri

user20: THE IDENTICAL SHOE TYING PHOTOS IM IN TEAARRSSS

oscarpiastri: the cat agenda is so mean

⤷ uruser: says the man literally smacking me to get my attention

⤷ oscarpiastri: it worked didnt it?

nicolepiastri: oscar has always been like that since you two were very young!

logansargeant: phase two complete. good luck soldier 🫡

⤷ uruser: thank u logan, ive got it from here

user21: did they plan to make oscar jealous?? so he would admit he likes yn??

user22: SHUT UP THATS SO FUNNY

landonorris: oh thank god he'll stop whining now

⤷ user23: HELLO?

user24: OSCAR BEING JEALOUS OF LOGAN SHUT UPPPP

liked by logansargeant, alexalbon, oscarpiastri, and others...

uruser: logans plan worked?

tagged: oscarpiastri

logansargeant: and im still alive?

⤷ nicolepiastri: oscar won't kill spiders half the time, I didn't think he'd kill you, logan!

⤷ oscarpiastri: i was gonna ask kmag to hit you again (@ FIA this is a joke.)

⤷ uruser: oscar PLEASE THE FIA??

oscarpiastri: 🧡

⤷ uruser: wow u have such a way with words.

⤷ oscarpiastri: my pr team is staring over my shoulder i have to be careful

⤷ oscarpiastri: what i can say is sorry for being a blind idiot

alexalbon: i cannot BELIEVE this worked?

lilymhe: logan the mastermind, cannot wait to hear his speech at the wedding

landonorris: finally.

⤷ uruser: lando the strongest man thru this all

⤷ landonorris: i have heard oscar admit things you couldnt pry out of me.

⤷ oscarpiastri: literally what?

⤷ landonorris: ur mother is in this comment section, i can't say.

⤷ uruser: LANDO TEXT ME RIGHT NOW.

⤷ oscarpiastri: i was drunk probably

⤷ landonorris: stone cold sober. after practice during belgium?

⤷ oscarpiastri: oops.

⤷ uruser: JAW ON THE FLOOR.

[menagerofmischief]

Fan Favorite (FC43)

summary: franco and y/n are everyone's favorite couple in the paddock. they serve, fans eat it up - simple as that.

franco colapinto x driver!reader

based on two different requests I got

cw: google translated spanish, lando and y/n are friends but they're hating on each other, franco is a simp, smidge of williams slander

fc: emily carey

liked by yourusername, williamsracing, oscarpiastri and 250,674 more

francolapinto: te amo mucho, mi corazon

tagged: yourusername

comments:

yourusername: te amo <3

user3442: oh to be franco colapinto

user332: franco can you fight?

landonorris: that last photo was a bit tmi

yourusername: no one made you look norizz landonorris: you're so mean

ynupdates: when I'm in a who's a bigger y/n fan competition but my opponent is franco

francolapinto: my beautiful girl

user33: dude this is your own post

user201: oh to be loved the way franco loves y/n

liked by francolapinto, williamsracing, landonorris and 1.547.365 more

yourusername: it's race weekend baby!

tagged: francolapinto, williamsracing

comments:

williamsracing: our favorite driver is back in the garadge

francolapinto: mi hermosa novia

francolapinto: mygirlmygirlmygirl

user323: another day of franco being in the likes before me

user22: franco's in the likes before the photos are even posted atp

landonorris: can't wait to outscore you again

yourusername: dude I'm driving a williams?! yourusername: admin don't look

ynnation: prettiest driver

ynupdates: franco looking at y/n is all of us

comments:

user221: no because that caption is so real

ynsbettercar: they're so obsessed with each other it's not even fair

f1fanat1c: find someone who looks at you the way franco looks at y/n

user553: so real, because if he's not like this then I don't want him

mclursa: praying for a relationship like theirs

th3ssf: they are the standard

livelughsformula: no because this is how franco looks at y/n 😍

user44: I too would look at my girlfriend like that if she was y/n l/n

f1wagupdates: y/n and franco spotted out having breakfast

comments:

oneonef: love how f1 wags posted this

user443: franco is y/n's wag first, williams driver second

ynupdates: fav couple

user090: they're so cute together

usrrs: having a relationship like theirs is not a want it's a need atp

usef1: mama and papa

user442: same, except I'm older than them

userrr: franco and y/n are why I believe in love

liked by landonorris, francolapinto, oscarpiastri and 998.546 more

yourusername: national boyfriend day post

tagged: francolapinto

comments:

francolapinto: ai corazon, you said you wouldn't post these

yourusername: I lied

username43: franco looks so cute with those glasses

use221: why is he looking at me like that

landonorris: the 3rd picture is unsettling me

yourusername: scroll away bitch landonorris: *gasp*

francolapinto: te amo te amo te amo

yourusername: <3

carmenmmundt: I came here for a pretty girl instead I got a Franco post

yourusername: you can come over instead ;) francolapinto: on a post appreciating me? yourusername: shh fran, I'm shooting my shot

userrrsa: googling how to become franco colapinto, brb

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourusername and 896.554 more

francolapinto: girlfriend appreciation post

tagged: yourusername

comments:

yourusername: you said the first picture would never see light of day

francolapinto: not nice being lied to is it?

user443: y/n's slaying no matter what

userrr2: mother is mothering

user445: franco can you fight?

francolapinto: 👍👍

yourusername: idk if I feel appreciated enough

francolapinto: wait until I get back home and I'll appreciate you some more user003: do you need a third?

user332: y/n l/n the most beautiful woman

thsfd3: get mother something better than a williams pls

user992: if they break up I'll kill myself, no cap

userrrw: real

[simonrileysfavteacup]

Nightmares

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x wife!reader

Word count: 831

Warnings: Dad!Simon, Mom!reader, simon being a good daddy, simon talking like the british bitch he is, and ur son being named tommy after simon's brother

Summary: When Simon gets home late from a mission, everything in your house is supposed to be silent. Except your son.

Simon steps into the quiet home, sighing as he leaves Ghost at the door. Everything came tumbling off his shoulders as he takes in the smell of baked cookies, assuming you had baked for your little boy, Tommy. 

He checks the fridge, and yup, cookies. Chocolate chip, sitting on a plate. Soft, the only way 7-month old Tommy could eat them.

He hesitates but shuts the fridge again, deciding against eating sugar for dinner. Especially not something you made for the sweet little boy you were raising. 

He sighs. It’s late at night, no one’s awake. He’s going to bet you’re curled up in your duvet, Tommy curled up in his own nursery, in his crib. The crib Simon built. 

He’s halfway through a glass of water when he hears a whine from upstairs. A soft whine, but still reaches his super soldier ears. Coming from the cracked open door of his sons bedroom. He walks upstairs slowly, as Tommy’s whines get louder. Until they reach a cry. 

He assumes you haven’t waken up yet, with all intentions of calming Tommy down before you do wake up. 

He pushes the cracked door open until he sees his baby boy crying against the bar of his crib. Simon smiles, walking over and reaching out to pick up Tommy. 

Tommy’s eyes lock on Simon’s. For a second, he’s quiet. And Simon thinks he’s alright. 

But then Tommy wails louder than ever before. 

More than enough to wake you up in the next room. 

He keeps wailing even when Simon puts a hand on him and when Simon picks him up, he thrashes around and almost kicks Simon. 

And that’s when Simon realizes he never took off his gear. 

Or his mask. 

He practically rips it off his head, throwing it somewhere across the nursery. He strips off all his clothing until he’s left in just a tight shirt and his tactical pants. “‘S me! ’S daddy. ‘S jus’ daddy!” 

Tommy’s wails calm down as he sees his fathers face and he finally reaches for him. Tiny hands grabbing at his father. 

Simon picks him up, holding him against his chest, cooing at him. “Nightmare?” 

He assumes Tommy’s sniffles means a yes. 

���I have ‘em too, bud. Don’ worry, yer mama will take good care of ya. She always takes good care of me,” Simon smiles at the little boy. “Trus’ her.”

Little to Simon’s knowledge, hearing your son’s cries, you had woken up, yawning as you walked to his room, wondering what on earth could possibly have bothered him now. 

He was changed, fed, tired…what could he possibly need? 

Oh. Daddy’s comfort. Forgot that.

You stand outside the room, watching Simon as he rocks the baby back to sleep, cooing soft nothings to him. You smile, leaning against the doorframe as your actions finally take Simon out of his stare into his son’s eyes. 

He turns, looking at you standing at the door. “Lovie.”

You bite back a happy squeal as you walk over to him, ducking into the arm that wasn’t holding Tommy. Resting a hand on Simon’s back, you bring your free hand up to rest on Tommy’s little belly, tickling him softly. “He would not go to sleep today, don’t know what his problem was. He kept wanting to be fed and then he cried over and over for toys and tummy time and god, he’s insane. He started sitting the other day and now, he won’t stop sitting in his crib and whining! Can you believe his attitude?” 

“Well, he is yer son,” Simon chuckles softly. 

You roll your eyes, “He’s just as petty as his daddy. Isn’t that right, bubby?”

The little boy giggles as you tickle him again. You look back up at Simon. He gives you a soft smile. “He go’ scared of my mas’. Ya thin’ he can’ recognize me?”

“No, he’s just been cranky. He’s seen you in your mask before, it’s not abnormal. He’s just a weird little boy,” you shrug. “Probably just got scared ‘cause the lights were off.”

“Thin’ he’s ready to go down again?” he asks, motioning to the crib. You nod and Simon sets him down, patting him on his chest. The boy lets out a loud gurgle, flashes of white between his pink lips from teething. 

You and Simon walk back to your shared bedroom, sighing as you lie down, Simon heading to shower. 

When he gets out, he slips on a pair of sweatpants and climbs into bed, curling into you. “Missed ya.”

“Ditto,” you smile, running a hand through his hair. “Did you eat?”

“Nah. Saw yer cookies though. Coulda’ ate ‘em, but figured they were Tom’s,” he cups your cheek, pulling your lips to his. “Ya two had fun while I was gone?”

“Mhm, watched sooo many episodes of Ms. Rachel, skipped over all the daddy parts,” you tease. “He’ll be saying mama in a month.”

“No’ if I go’ anythin’ to do with it.”

[juneberrie]

HANDS

SUMMARY - literally just a brain dump of hcs about their hands <3

CHARACTERS - percy jackson , jason grace , leo valdez , frank zhang

— & .

PERCY JACKSON

percy wears rings ; specifically silver rings. i feel like he also wears bracelets, specifically silver chain bracelets or anything matching with you. also always has a hair tie or scrunchie on his wrist for u. his hands aren't super veiny - they're kinda smooth ?? idk how to describe them but theyre just veiny enough that 😵‍💫. his nails r pretty short i feel - his mom made sure he regularly cut them and never bit them. he does wear nail polish sometimes but half the time it gets chipped.

JASON GRACE

zoo wee mama this bitch has veiny hands <3 they go well w his BEEFY ASS forearms n biceps !! jason is so yummy ugh but anyways. he rarely ever wears jewlery i feel. only ever one ring on his middle finger and its just a plain band, silver with no engravings. his nails r kinda long-ish, bc he grew up with wolves and like he used to scratch people as a child i just know it. he can't stand if his nails are super long but he doesn't keep them as short as frank. his nails are actually really well kept ??? he only ever wears clear nail polish on them. also i feel like he uses hand lotion n shit ?? fancy ass

LEO VALDEZ

aughhhhhh he also doesn't have super veiny hands ?? theyre like just veiny enough tee hee. his hands + fingers r very calloused from all the work he does ( yk he's good w his hands 🤭 ) so they're kinda rough. his nails are short bitch. like short short. he grew up biting them so like. theyre short. i feel like he would only ever wear rings on super special occasions because he doesn't want them to get messed up while he's working. he definitely has a couple of scars on his hands from accidents he's had while working or just when he's being clumsy asf. he paints his nails a lot but it always chips after like twenty minutes.

FRANK ZHANG

this. mf. has big hands. theyre real veiny and they're BIG. they're really soft n always warm <3 he won't wear any other ring except for one his mother left him, its gold and it has his last name engraved on it. his nails r pretty short, thats just how he likes to keep them. i personally can't see frank ever painting his nails but maybe he'll let you do it just once, because it makes you happy. he'll take it off like an hour after but only because he doesn't like the way it feels on his nails.

[kokorose]

Meet the Hamiltons- LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Actress!Wife

Summary: life with the Hamiltons

A/n: takes place during 2023 season except last post.

Faceclaim: Laura Harrier

October 2022

Yn Ln-Hamilton posted

Liked by LewisHamilton, NaomiCampbell, gigihadid, BellaHadid, KendallJenner, LandoNorris, Ybffusername GeorgeRussell and 724,839 others

Yn Ln-Hamilton: Thank you so much @ElleUK for having me!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

tagged: ElleUK

See all 34,739 comments

LewisHamilton: that’s my wife 😁

Yn Ln-Hamilton: 🥰

ElleUK: Gorgeous!!!

NaomiCampbell: ❤️

Carmenmmundt: yesssss!!!!!

Yn Ln-Hamilton: 💋

gigihadid: yess!!

HannaVettel: Gorgeous girl

Yn Ln-Hamilton: 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Ybffusername: Yess Bitch! 🔥🔥

December 2022

LewisHamilton posted

Liked by Yn Ln-Hamilton, SebastianVettel, JensonButton, AussieGrit, GeorgeRussell, LandoNorris, NaomiCampbell, ValtteriBottas, Ybffusername, and 627,839 others

LewisHamilton: Happy birthday to my beautiful wife. On this day 34 years ago, God placed you on this earth for me to love. I love you more than anything and I’m so honored to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to see what our future holds. Thank you for supporting me through everything these past few years.

I love you forever darling.

Tagged: Yn Ln-Hamilton

See all 32,467 comments

Yn Ln-Hamilton: I love you darling ❤️

SebastianVettel: Happy Birthday Yn! We’ll have to meet up soon to celebrate.

JensenButton: Happy birthday to my favorite Hamilton!

Yn Ln-Hamilton: 😁

AussieGrit: Happy Birthday Yn!

LandoNorris: Happy Birthday Yn 🎉

GeorgeRussell: Happy Birthday Yn!

User: Happy Birthday Yn!!!

February 2023

Yn Ln-Hamilton and LewisHamilton posted

Liked by SebastianVettel, TotoWolff, NicholasHamilton, NaomiCampbell, gigihadid, BellaHadid, KendallJenner, RoscoelovesCoco, Ybffusername and 1,738,839 others

Yn Ln-Hamilton: Baby Hamilton coming August 2023! We’re so excited to meet you!

See all 236,739 comments

LewisHamilton: I love you so much! I’m so excited to begin this new chapter of our lives!

Yn Ln-Hamilton: I love you!

mercedesamgf1: Congratulations Lewis and Yn! We’re so excited to meet Baby Hamilton!

SebastianVettel: Congratulations you two! You guys will be the best parents!

LewisHamilton: Thank you Seb! 🙏🏻

RoscoelovesCoco: I can’ts waits to meet my new sibling!

Ybffusername: omg!!! I can’t wait to be the rich hot aunt!!

NicholasHamilton: Uncle Nicky incoming!! Congrats you two!

GeorgeRussell: Congratulations you two!

User: OMG!!! 😭😭😭

User: Omg Lewis is gonna be a dad!!

User: that baby is gonna be absolutely adorable!!

May 2023

Yn Ln-Hamilton posted to her story

Seen by LewisHamilton, carmenmmundt, susiewolff, NaomiCampbell, Zendaya, HannaVettel, JensonButton, and 45,729 others

Yn Ln-Hamilton: Golden ☀️

Replies

LewisHamilton: my loves

carmenmmundt: momma

Zendaya: ❤️❤️❤️❤️

susiewolff: ❤️❤️❤️

Ybffusername: what a goddess!!!

User: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

July 2023

Yn Ln-Hamilton posted

Liked by LewisHamilton, Ybffusername, gigihadid, susiewolff, carmenmmundt, GeorgeRussell, francisca.cgomes, Alexandrasaintmleux, NaomiSchiff, and 563,739 others

Yn Ln-Hamilton: so in love with this

See all 23,739 comments

LewisHamilton: I love you both!

susiewolff: I’m so excited for you two!! You’ll have to bring them to the paddock!

Yn Ln-Hamilton: Of Course!!

Ybffusername: Almost time!!!

User: omg I can’t belive the baby is almost here!!!

Alexandrasaintmleux: gorgeous mama!!!!

NaomiSchiff: Stunning!!!

User: Lewis with the candy 😆

User: Did you hear Lewis saying at Silverstone how he was happy to get on the podium because it’s YN’s last race?

User: I did, I can’t belive their about to be parents!!!

User: Yn you looked so pretty yesterday!!!

User: The Nursery 😭😭

August 2023

Yn Ln-Hamilton and LewisHamilton posted

Liked by LewisHamilton, SebastianVettel, mercedesamgf1, Ybffusername, RoscoelovesCoco, Zendaya, NaomiCampbell, carmenmmundt, NicoRosberg, GeorgeRussell, JensonButton, and 2,738,739 others

Yn Ln-Hamilton: Welcome to the world Juno Carmen Rose Hamilton. 08.10.23. We love you so much our little love!

See all 352,628 comments

LewisHamilton: I love you two so much!

RoscoelovesCoco: I loves my baby sister!

Ybffusername: Omg!! 😭😭😭 she’s here!!!

SebastianVettel: Congratulations! Welcome baby Juno!

F1: Congratulations to you and your family Lewis!

mercedesamgf1: Welcome to the Mercedes family baby Juno! Congratulations Lewis and Yn!❤️

LilyZneimer: Congratulations!! 🎈

Susiewolff: Congratulations!!

GeorgeRussell: Congratulations from Carmen and I!

JensonButton: Congratulations to the both of you!

CharlesLeclerc: Congratulations!!

LandoNorris: Hello Baby Juno!! Congrats!!

User: OMG!! ITS A GIRL!!

User: JUNO!!!

NicoRosberg: Congratulations you two!

User: Oh my god!! Nico!!!

See all 374,739 comments

November 2023

Yn Ln-Hamilton Posted

Liked by LewisHamilton, carmenmmundt, brunamarquezine, Ybffusername, Alexandrasaintmleux, SusieWolff, JensonButton, CharlesLeclerc, and 627,739 others

Yn Ln-Hamilton: 3 months with our angel

See all 26,739 comments

LewisHamilton: I can’t believe she’s three months already.

Yn Ln-Hamilton: I know!

Susiewolff: the most gorgeous little girl!

carmenmmundt: 3 months already??

Ybffusername: She’s growing so fast! it feels like she was born yesterday!

Yn Ln-Hamilton: I know, we can’t believe it either.

Alexandrasaintmleux: if you and Lewis need a babysitter let me know!! She’s absolutely adorable!

Yn Ln-Hamilton: of course!

User: The Winnie the Pooh outfit!!

User: Yn how is Roscoe handling being a big brother??

Yn Ln-Hamilton: oh he’s so precious with her. He absolutely loves her. When she cries, he starts whining and tries to comfort her. He loves making her laugh.

User: omg!

January 2024

LewisHamilton posted

Liked by Yn Ln-Hamilton, JensonButton, Ybffusername, GeorgeRussell, HaileyBieber, ShawnWhite, NinaDobrev, and 736,739 others

LewisHamilton: Brazil 🇧🇷

See all 35,738 comments

Yn Ln-Hamilton: 💕💕

NinaDobrev: sexy mama!

Ybffusername: awww Juno in the bathing set I got her!!

HaileyBieber: aww Juno is getting so big!!

User: Juno has got to have to best fashion for a 5 month old.

User: I mean when your mom’s Yn and your dad’s Lewis Hamilton, you have fashion in your veins.

brunamarquezine: it was nice meeting Juno! She’s adorable!

LewisHamilton: thanks Bruna!

User: damn Yn!! Body-ody-ody.

April 2024

LewisHamilton Posted

Liked by Yn Ln-Hamilton, George Russell, KylianMbappe, brunamarquezine, NaomiCampbell, CharlesLeclerc, SebastianVettel, and 746,739 others

LewisHamilton: my girls 💕

See all 35,739 comments

Yn Ln-Hamilton: Love you 😘

LewisHamilton: Love you too baby

NaomiCampbell: what a darling!

SebastianVettel: she’s gotten so big!

LewisHamilton: I know man! I know! She started standing on her own now!

CharlesLeclerc: I will be spoiling her next year! What a cutie!

KylianMbappe: beautiful family.

User: I still can’t belive he’s going to Ferrari next year.

User: I know right!!

User: Juno!!

July 2024

Yn Ln-Hamilton posted

Liked by LewisHamilton, GeorgeRussell, NicholasHamilton, NaomiCampbell, gigihadid, NicoRosberg, carmenmmundt, CharlesLeclerc, LandoNorris, and 873,739 others

Yn Ln-Hamilton: To my love,

You did it!! All those nights staying up going over your races wondering where your getting it wrong. All the doubts, fears and anger. You, my love, are the strongest person I know. You will forever be my champion no matter what your future holds. You are the brightest star in my universe and I love you more than words!

P.S. to the fan that gave Juno the teddy bears, thank you!

See all 45,629 comments

LewisHamilton: Thank you darling! Thank you for being by my side through everything these past couple years. I love you my forever girl! You and Juno are everything to me!

gigihadid: stop I’m still crying!!

mercedesamgf1: our champion!

LandoNorris: 🔥

carmenmmundt: congratulations!

Yn Ln-Hamilton: I hope George is doing okay Carm!

carmenmmundt: he’s doing okay!

User: stop this is adorable!!

User: did anyone else cry seeing their little family hug after the race?

User: I started crying when he was coming onto the straight. Kept crying when he passed the line, when he did his lap, when he pulled in, when he hugged his mom and dad, and then when he pulled Yn and Juno into his arms and she just held him.

User: ugh, I was sobbing when Yn was just holding him crying with Juno in their arms.

[dilfl0v3rss]

bully!ony

bully!ony who always seems to know just what to say to make your sensitive self cry

bully!ony who’d hide your pencils and take your computer while you went to the bathroom

bully!ony who’d call you mean and annoying names like chubs, dough girl, muffin, dumb dumb, and cupcake. his favorite being peaches since that was the first thing he smelled the first time you walked passed him on campus.

“cmere peaches, need you t’do my homework so i can come back and terrorize you next semester”

bully!ony who was nearly a foot taller than you, towering over you with a mean look when he sees you doing something he doesn’t like.

“stop wearing this skimpy ass skirt. ass all out like a desperate bitch” he mumbled, his harsh, deep voice made you shrink in fear. this only brought a smile to his face, his pearly white teeth flashing at you as he shamelessly looked you over. “i-i like m-my skirt, s’pretty.” you whispered, your finger gravitating towards the middle of your glasses, pushing them up your nose as you looked up at the bully with big, scared, doe eyes.

ony’s smile began to fade, an unknown anger showing in him as he grabbed your bag from your shoulder, snatching book after book out of it before letting each one hit the floor. “s’pretty until you gotta pick shit up. now niggas gon be able t’see everything you got going on under it” he spit, his side colliding with yours as he walked past you and towards the door, not missing the little wet patch in your cotton panties as you bent over to pick up your stuff. “tch, slut…”

bully!ony who’d purposely put things too high or too low just to watch you struggle. the way your breasts would bounce as you jumped for your favorite book in his hand or the way your panties would show, your pretty pussy fighting against the fabric as you reached under a chair for your computer. he couldn’t help but feel his dick jump in excitement.

bully!ony who had no shame walking into your dorm room and taking your snacks, not even knocking on the door since he knew you kept it unlocked while you were in there.

bully!ony who’d copy off of your work constantly, giving you stern looks and a tight squeeze to your thigh to keep you quiet. it worked every time.

bully!ony who’d scare you into coming with him to parties, preying on your fear of being all alone as he’d tell you that the campus would be empty since everyone else would be there except you.

bully!ony who’d make you stay by him the entire time, leaving a big, strong palm on your ass at all times to “let niggas know”. you didn’t mind it though, never questioning anything he does since you were so cute, scared, and dumb.

bully!ony who couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous when he saw you getting hit on in the line for the bathroom.

“look really pretty in that skirt mama” eren said, his voice quickly making heat travel to your cheeks as you looked down at your pretty pink shoes. “t-thank you” you whispered. he heard you, but at the sight of your shy little face eren couldn’t resist teasing you a little. “whatchu say? you gotta speak up f’me pretty the music’s loud in here” as he spoke, his big hand found itself under your chin, lifting your gaze up to his pretty eyes as he stared at you with mischief written all over his face.

ony watched the whole scene unfold, his fists clenched tightly as he removed himself from his spot on the couch. you didn’t even notice him coming as you watched the person in front of you exit the bathroom. before you could say another word to eren you felt a strong hand grip the back of your neck, shoving you in the bathroom before ony followed you inside. he towered over you menacingly, “what was that?” you looked up him, fear and confusion written all over your face as you tried to understand what you did that upset him so much. “i-i don” “oh my god ‘i-i-i’ speak up chubs. you fucking him?”

tears quickly trickled down your cheeks, your mascara messing up as you wiped at them constantly with the sleeve of your pink long sleeve crop top. “n-no…never” you whispered, ony quickly wrapped a hand around your throat, turning you around towards the mirror as he bent you over the sink. “then scream real loud while i fuck you so he could hear”

bully!ony who told you all the time that only he was allowed to touch you since he was the “only man that gave you attention” when in actuality, every guy on campus wanted to be with you but he’d scare each of them off before they even tried.

bully!ony who’d constantly fluster you from shamelessly lifting up your skirt while you sat with him in the library to slapping the fatty flesh of your ass while you bent over to get one of your pencils he’d drop.

bully!ony who couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been a little off lately. the pencils and books he’d enjoy stealing and hiding nowhere to be found as you sat in class with just your computer. tears were in your eyes as you sat in front of the black screen, not even trying to get any notes down as you let your sadness fall down your cheeks.

bully!ony who followed you around for the rest of the day searching for the boy who thought it was okay to mess with you when you were alone. breaking your pretty pink pencils and wetting up your favorite books. “this him muffin?” ony said, holding the guy by the back of his collar with a big tattooed hand as he awaited your reply. you nodded your head, your mascara filled tears drying on your chubby cheeks as you looked at the petrified look the boy carried. ony took one deep breath before telling you to go wait for him in his car. you listened without hesitation, not wanting to anger him further.

he returned to the car with blood covering his knuckles, anger still lingering over his face but it was much calmer than before. “y-your hands” you mumbled but he ignored you, silently making his way to his apartment. even though the two of you have had sex multiple times you’ve never been to his apartment, always settling for a bathroom quickie or your dorm room so you were very surprised to see the huge, spacious apartment this man had. “rooms right there” he mumbled, nodding his head towards his door. you quietly made your way in there, lightly sitting at the edge of his bed as you let todays events replay in your mind.

as ony finally joined you in the room, you noticed the blood from his hands as well as his tight black t shirt nowhere to be found. his broad chest full of tattoos moving closer and closer to your face before he was standing right in front of you. arousal quickly rushed inside your panties as your eyes moved up to his inked neck then to the sexy, dark brown skin of his face. “ass up” was all he said and you complied immediately, making him scoff as he watched your skirt instantly move up your back, putting your soaked panties on full display for him. “knew you’d be wet…slutty lil bitch” he mumbled, rubbing his thumb up and down the wet fabric before pulling it to the side.

ony freed himself from his sweats, lining up with your entrance before sinking into you fully. your pretty moans only drove him crazier as he already started building up to a quick pace. “fuck peach you so tight” he groaned, his hands pushing down on your back as he fed deep strokes into your pussy. your eyes where already in the back of your skull, your hands gripping the sheets as you took each and every inch of him. “o-ohhhh my g-odddd” you moaned, your pussy only getting wetter as you felt ony fuck you even harder, his hips slapping against your ass as he let the rest of his anger out on your body.

“only i can be mean t’you right cupcake? only daddy can make you cry?” he said, his deep voice making your walls clench as you replied with a whiny “only you daddy”. ony gave you a satisfied slap on the ass, his pace quickening as he angled his hips down towards your g spot. “and only i can make you feel good, fuck this pussy just how you like it?” you nodded your head but ony wanted words, his hand leaving a harder slap on your ass as his other hand went to pull you up a little by your hair. “talk t’daddy baby or do y’want me t’stop?” a whine instantly flew from your lips, your ass moving back on him harder as you begged for him to continue. “n-no! only you can t-touch me daddy pleaseeee, just keep goinggg”

a smirk crept onto his lips, his dick twitching in excitement at your obedience as he fucked you just the way you liked it.

bully!ony who had been in love with you since he met you but didn’t know how to tell you, settling for picking on you and your pretty little pussy until he got the right words together to ask you out properly. until then he’d settle for being your big, mean, scary bully and you his pretty, timid, quiet little peach.

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

I think it would ramp the humor up a 1000000x if everyone got on garp's ass every time one of his wack ass sons/grandsons/extended family/inlaws did some shit to fuck with the world government. garp has to legit snail call zeff to ask for a place to crash because luffy did a widdle liddle oopsie and now sengoku is bitching him out so loud that zeff can hear it through the snails. some report comes into marine HQ and everyone is side-eyeing garp like a motherfucker. koby comes in one day and garp is hiding under his desk because he is about to Get It from like six other admirals because sabo went on a bender. again. everyone and their mama being like "garp GET your fucking family." garp like, "they don't bite." except they do. and garp is about to get strangled. garp shows up on the grandline hair a mess, coat askew, on the verge of chainsmoking with bogard fanning him like a egyptian empress to ask luffy to tone it the fuck down because garp has been experiencing a very concentrated amount of hostility in the workplace and goddammit luffy. he does in fact start crashing at zeff's because he finally got in a bitchfight with sengoku and almost damaged the structural integrity of the marines. dragon's ass rocks up one day all like "howya doing popssss" and garp is deadpan i should have strangled you at birth. zeff finds this all as funny as hell.

[tojisth3rdwife]

Toji wasnt much of a gossip, but you being his girlfriend, he made the occasional exception. He could listen to you rant and ramble all day if it meant being close to you. Even if he barely registered half of what you were saying.

“That bitch waits until the end of the day to call me in her office, talking bout some ‘I wanted to discuss something schedule related before you head out’..As if she couldn’t have said something that morning or sent an email.” You grumbled as you dunked the large plate into the sudsy water.

Day dreaming.

Mindless.

Dazed.

Fixated.

Words that would be used to describe the way Toji watched you.

He’d been sitting at the kitchen island on a bar stool for the last few minutes as you washed dishes in your old cheer shorts and tight cropped camisole, giving him an unobstructed view of your ass.

Heart shaped and heavy at the bottom with little dimples of cellulite you used to be self conscious about dotting your skin. If anything, that was his favorite part of your booty. He’d say it gave it character.

Not so distant memories of him burying his face between them with his tongue prodding at your hole, inhaling the scent of your pussy has him shifting in his seat. Moaning his name against the pillows and deepening your arch. Massive hands spreading your cheeks further apart while he ate you from behind, groaning in ecstasy at your taste. Something like that wouldnt be hard to do right now. All he’d have to do is get on his knees behind you and slide your shorts down just enough for him to…

“Toji.”

He blinks at the sound of his name.

“Hmm?” He grunts, head lifting from his palm.

His eyes snap up to your face when you glance at him over your shoulder, a curious brow lifted.

“Are you listening to me?” You smirk at his lazy expression and Toji’s lips tucked against eachother as he nodded, humming affirmatively so that you’d continue.

“Yeah! Of course.. your PTO thing.” He adds in confirmation that he was indeed listening. Somewhat. Despite him being slightly bricked up but you wouldn’t know it since you were too busy running your damn mouth.

You squint at him incredulously but turn away to resume scrubbing.

“Mmhm. So anyway. Then she tells me that Im not approved for the PTO I requested for my birthday trip. And I just laughed because jokes on her. I wasn’t gonna be there whether she approved it or not.”

Water ran loudly as you rinsed a large pot, and you shift your weight to favor your left leg, bringing Toji’s gaze right back to your dimpled cheeks. His tongue runs over his top lip, his eyes climbing the line your spine the way his tongue would on its way up your body after making you cum on it. Toji loved the way you’d shiver and tremble underneath him, making his dick rock hard and ready to slide inside of you. And he knew it would be easy with how wet you got.

“I told her that my request was really just for her benefit. If she doesn't approve it, Im still going.”

“Right..right..” Toji mutters, his attention effectively dividing between what you were saying at the way your cheeks jiggled slightly with even the slightest movements caused by you scraping the decrepit scrub daddy over the skillet.

He wanted to bite it.

Hell, he planned to.

As soon as you finished those dishes. Or perhaps as soon as you shut the hell up.

Whichever happened first.

“..talking about some..’oh well we’re very short staffed so I cant guarantee that I’ll be able to let you off that week’..let. Like she’s my mama or something. Bitch. I’ll call out and have her looking crazy. Anyway, what you thinking about for dinner?”

At his lack of engagement, you spare Toji another look over your shoulder. You find his hooded gaze fixed on you but nowhere near your face and you thoughtlessly glance down at yourself as if you already didn’t know what he was looking at.

“Toji….TOJI!” You laugh, and your boyfriend looks up at you again, blinking dumbly.

“Huh?” He frowns and you roll your eyes.

“Yo ass didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” You turn around to face him, rubbing your damp hands over a dry dish towel. Toji rolls his eyes with a grumpy sigh to accompany it.

“I said I was listening. Your PTO didn’t get approved but you’re taking off anyway. Fuck whatever Lauren says..”

“Lori.” You correct him.

“Lori. Laura. Whoever the fuck. Point is I’ve been listening and waiting on you to stop talking so I can bend you over.” He states shamelessly, reaching down out of your view to readjust himself in his pants.

Your brows shoot up in surprise, but his words make your womanhood jump in excitement and anticipation.

“Aw yeah?” You smirk, only for Toji to mirror you. In seconds, he’s on his feet and rounding the kitchen island to stand in front you. His cool green gaze pins you against the counter as he pressed up against you, his fingers already teasing at the elastic band of your shorts.

“Yeah, so hurry up and finish the story...”

[cottoncandyswisherz]

we'll see

toxicbabydadd!chris x birthdaygirl!reader

warnings: toxicccccc, rough, unprotected sex (dont be dumb) biting, choking, the word 'then' a million times

-

ITS A REAL BITCHES BIRTHDAYYYY

your house is full and everyone's drunk. except you. 

you have to say sober, because you're breastfeeding your daughter aaliyah. 

but you don't have to be shitfaced to have fun, so when you hear your song come on, you tap your best friends shoulder. 

you've had a routine to freak hoe since high school so she knew what time it was. you move through the routine with no grace. throwing ass is not elegant but it's what you do best. 

"WE ATTTTEEE!" she yells over the music.

"AND DIDDDD!" you shout back. 

"IM NOT DRUNK ENOUGH!" and with that, she's gone. off to make herself another drink, leaving you to go to your room to call the sitter and pump. 

but as soon as you enter, you see chris standing in your room, on his phone. he looks up when he hears me. 

"what the fuck?"

"i just wanted to give you your gift and leave."

"so you went to my bedroom?"

"i saw you dancing with celine. i didn't wanna kill your vibe."

you scoff at this and sit on your bed, bringing out your phone. "you killed my vibe when you fucked someone else while i was 8 months pregnant with your baby."

"aight, bro, chill."

"fuck you."

chris walks around your bed and stops right in front of you. his waist dangerously close your face. he places his hand under your chin, gripping your jaw. 

"watch it, mama."

WOOOOOOOOOSHHHHH just like that. panties ruined.

but tina aint raise no bitch so you stand up, roll your eyes and walk over to your dresser to fix your lashes.

"or what, chris?"

"you know what."

"i really don't" you said bluntly. "you don't get to have the whole 'i'm sorry, please let me cum' thing anymore due to the fact that you're a cheating whore that i no longer love."

hearing that must have pissed him off because he was on you in an instant. his lips on yours, his left hand applying beautiful pressure to your throat, his right hand squeezing your ass.

your head grows fuzzy. its like he has crack on his tongue and is intoxicating you with each stroke of it. 

you don't have time to think of the hurt he caused as he moved from your lips, to your neck, then to your chest. 

then he's on his knees. pushing your dress up your hips and kissing down you waist sucking hickeys onto your thighs. 

"you think that shit's funny?" he growls, biting the meat of your inner thigh. "talking shit to me, after i've been trying to get you back for months?"

this made you laugh. "you'll never get me back chris."

he turned you around so your front was pressed against the wall. his fingers gripped the edges of your panties, guiding them down your legs, biting your ass and smiling when he saw the mark of his teeth in your cheek.

"we'll see."

and then he was standing up, your back to his front, and you felt him on your bare ass, his sweats doing  little to hide the effect you clearly had on him. 

you felt his hands grip your hips and move you from the wall to your dresser, so you could see yourself. 

"i want you to watch." he slid his bottoms down to knees, freeing him of his his restraints. "i want you to watch me ruin you." 

and then he was sliding in you with so much force, you jerked forward, throwing your hand up on the mirror to brace yourself. and in that moment you remembered why you'd let him get you pregnant. 

this man was a fucking beast. 

he was fucking you like it was all he could do to stay alive. hard, fast, and so, so, fucking good. he was so deep, hitting the same spot that made you taste purple. all your senses were out the window yet you felt everything he was doing. you felt his hand digging into your waist, you heard his grunts of pleasure, you saw his eyes trained on where you were joined. 

he looked so.... fuck. 

all you could do was grasp at the edges of your dresser and keen for him.

until you felt him move impossibly faster and his fingers reach under you and draw quick circles on your clit. then all you could do was tremble in his arms and reach behind you to push him away because it was beginning to be too much. 

he used his free hand to pin your arm to your back and use it as an anchor, digging deeper in you so you felt more of him than you thought there could be. 

"oh fuuuck-" you gasped. 

"you don't love me anymore mama?" he forced out. 

"chris- shit! please...." you cried out. "i'm gonna-"

"hold it."

"no! please no." you begged. 

"you wanna cum?"

"yes please, chris" you were a mess at this point. eyes rolling back as you tried to do what he'd asked. you knew that if you came before he'd allowed it, you'd never leave this room. 

"do you love me?"

as much as you wanted to say yes, you refused to let him win so easily. 

"no."

this only pissed him off because he shifted from fast and hard to slow, deep, torturous strokes that made your brain go blank. 

"jesus fucking..."

"you sure?"

"i don't know..."

"i think you do mama." his pace on your clit was the same demonic speed as before, confusing your mind. "all you gotta do is admit it and you can come all all over me. i want you to make a mess for me. i wanna feel you all over m-"

"FINE FUCK!" you cried. "i love you."

"that's my girl."

that's all it took for his pace to restart, pounding into you with ferocity. 

"cum, mama. cum for me." 

and you did. you sucked in a deep breath and slammed your eyes shut as you shook on the dresser. 

all you heard was the blood rushing in you ears as you let go of everything you'd been holding for the past 2 minutes. 

"shit, babe. i'm gonna-"

that snapped you back into reality. you did not want any more kids right now so you gathered all the strength you could and turned around, dropping to your knees and taking him in your mouth.

your head rested on the drawers of the dresser as you felt his load shoot down you throat with a moan that can only be described as godly. and when he pulled out of your mouth he pulled you up to your feet by your throat, kissing you with so much passion, you were ready to go again. 

but then he pulled away and gripped your face so you were looking into his eyes. 

"you'll always belong to me, y/n."

niyah speaks rushed as helllllll but hapy late birthday!!! @55sturn

taglist: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @thisisntmattsturniolo @chaossturns

[raisedbythetv89]

The writers I think mostly completely by accident with the assistance of James charming his way into becoming a main character created the perfect storm to ensure people who love spike would reach absolute peak levels of being completely obsessively deranged about him forever

Season 2:

He’s a punk rock villain with killer cheekbones, enchanting eyes, and an absolutely DEVILISH smile - who’s an incredibly dedicated and dangerous fighter who specifically seeks out challenging fights he’s not guaranteed to win (brave and reckless - normally traits seen in heroes) hates everyone except his mentally ill physically sick wife (the statistics of men who leave their wives when they get sick in the US is horrifying like nurses literally have to warn married women who get sick it happens so often) who he’s hopelessly devoted to and unbelievably soft with and always listens to her while also exuding a psychotic amount of sex appeal and is just F U N he loves being a vampire and he loves fighting and it makes it so much fun for the audience. While still showing how much he respects and admires his enemy for her skill, strength, resourcefulness, and intelligence - NEVER underestimating her just because she’s a tiny blonde girl - and instead of destroying the world for love he SAVES the world for love - a villain doing good to get the love of his life back who essentially dumped him for her ex????????? D E V O T E D and shockingly extremely trustworthy??? And has amazing chemistry with our heroine and is there for a pivotal moment in her life and is the only one there for her when she has no one else????? *enemies to lovers girlies ENTER THE CHAT*

Season 3:

He shows he fucking MEANS IT when he says Dru is the love of his life when he shows up in Sunnydale because he blames Angel not Buffy or Drusilla but the man actually responsible for all their problems and he is the most pathetic mess we’ve ever SEEN!!!! He’s crying and drunk all the time and he’s so sad he goes to Buffy’s mom TO TALK 💀😭 our pathetic sensitive little self admitted lover boy who KNOWS he’s love’s bitch and he won’t be pretending he’s anything otherwise who shows how clearly he sees and understands other people and the depths of his emotional intelligence so much so Buffy herself admits she can’t fool Spike she can fool her friends BUT NOT SPIKE OR HERSELF EXCUSE ME MA’AM WHAT???????

AND Spike doesn’t just uselessly MOPE forever he gets some perspective and is like I know what I’m gonna do to her back and I’m gonna go do that now! 😁👍🏻 showing he never stays down for long and is always gonna get back up to keep fighting for his love while BOTH he and Buffy still honor the truce even though he’s broken it by coming back??? While Buffy’s all “I violently dislike you” YEAH OK GIRL WHATEVER YOU SAY *enemies to lovers girlies chomping at the bit intensifies*

Season 4:

CLEARLY heartbroken about Drusilla (DEVOTED!!!) but it’s turned into anger and resentment directed at Harmony who how bizarre looks nothing like Drusilla but A LOT like Buffy…… hmmmmmmmmmmmmm HOW INTERESTING *enemies to lovers girlies are vibrating with anticipation that turns into a full blown combustion when something blue happens*

Spike doesn’t pretend to love Harmony in order to get what he wants from her (shown in direct contrast to Parker) he’s ironically very honest despite being a villain - he’s showing he’s STILL loyal to Drusilla in ONLY loving her even after she’s dumped him... again!

We see Spike treat Buffy the EXACT same way he treated Drusilla during something blue reaffirming THIS IS HOW THIS MAN LOVES WHEN HE LOVES YOU. He’s extremely affectionate, helpful, protective, caring - D E V O T E D - and is truly just the most certified lover boy we’ve ever fucking seen

Season 5:

SURPRISE HE’S SECRETLY A LOVESICK MAMA’S BOY POET AT HEART UNDERNEATH THE BAD BOY PERSONA AND A PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER AND NOW BUFFY AND HER FAMILY’S MOST LOYAL DEFENDER AND IS WILLING TO DIE NOT JUST FOR BUFFY BUT FOR ALL THE SUMMERS WOMEN AND HE KNOWS AND SEES BUFFY SO DEEPLY AND INTIMATELY AND CAN HOLD SPACE FOR HER PAIN LIKE NO ON ELSE CAN AND SHOWS THE DEVOTION THAT ONCE BELONGED TO DRUSILLA NOW BELONGS TO BUFFY AND IT IS GOING NOWHERE EVEN WHEN SHE DIES AND WE'VE SEEN IN HIM CRY BEFORE BUT NEVER HAVE WE SEEN HIM BREAK DOWN LIKE HE DOES AT THE SIGHT OF BUFFY'S BODY!!!!!!!!!!!

*all of us screaming, crying, throwing up, climbing the walls and generally just losing our minds*

Season 6:

No soul, his love is so great for Buffy as is his loyalty and devotion to her, he now helps all of his dead love’s friends fight evil and is raising her sister and dreams of saving her every night for 148 nights 🤚🏻😭 don’t even fucking talk to me I can’t take it

Forgive the absolute 180 in tone change here:

Dick game is FIRE - his touch is the only thing that makes Buffy feel alive AND SHE WAS IN HEAVEN BRO SHE KNOWS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE IN HEAVEN AND SPIKE IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING HER GOING like damn girl yes YOU FUCK THAT HOUSE DOWN!!! Also he is now just naked 50% of the time just to drive us all even FURTHER out of our minds and somehow has just gotten even hotter as the seasons have gone on like this is what’s been hiding under the leather jacket all this time! Enjoy!

And THE MOST unintended consequence of jw’s vindictive writing:

SPITE

He clearly didn’t want us to love Spike and tried to manipulate us into hating him in such a blatant and clumsy ooc attempt all that did was weed out the weakest amongst the Spuffy/Spike fans until all that remained were us:

The most devoted and stubborn fans who REFUSED to have the thing they loved ruined or taken away from us and were smart enough to see through his bullshit manipulation attempt in the first place.

Genuinely they created the equivalent of supersoilder strength level fans with this absolutely lethal combination of events 💀

AND THEN as if all that wasn't enough he goes and gets his soul on purpose for Buffy so he can be the man she deserves and she can love him without hating herself for loving him despite the immense pain it will cause him which is the most selfless thing we have ever seen anyone do for Buffy only to be topped when he sacrifices himself to destroy the hellmouth, save the world and free her from Sunnydale!!! Plus ya know once he gets the soul even though he did it for her he never tries to use that as leverage to get anything from her like he truly expects nothing from her at all but still wants to help her and James delivers the most devastating performances we've ever fucking seen, finally tells her friends off which has needed to happen for 5 seasons, the "you're the one speech" him being a dad to all the potentials with Buffy giving us supernatural parent core who made it through their rough patch with their first kid in season 6 with Dawn and now are just the beautiful team with their found family and Buffy finally has someone who can truly carry her burdens with her and just all the tenderness and devotion they both deserve after so many years of pain and fighting. Basically giving the audience the message that even if you have a metric ton of pain and trauma there are people out there who see you and understand you and there is a chance for you to heal both together and separately to build your own version of a more normal and stable life. It's a message of such hope and I personally know several people, including myself who watched what Spike and Buffy have and it inspired us to look at the relationships we were in and realize we deserved SO MUCH MORE than what we were getting and in my case it turned out I was being emotionally abused and manipulated that entire time!! Much like Buffy was by both Riley and Angel. So it isn't an exaggeration to say Spuffy saved my life in a lot of ways both in being there for me at such a dark time and helping me draw a map of how to get out. Not to mention loving them in fandom spaces has helped me connect with so many people just like me who share very similar experiences and have helped me feel so much less alone and has helped me heal in so many ways 🖤

Spuffies get "hOw cAn yOu liKe sPiKe aFtEr wHaT hE dId" all the fucking time and truly the better question is how can you NOT like Spike???? HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL??? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT GOOD RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO WORK?? BECAUSE AT THEIR CORE SPUFFY HAS THEM ALL!

It's jw writing so NOTHING will escape his toxic bullshit but Spike - because he was hated by jw for so long - so much of the time when he tried to make Spike less popular he just kept making him better and more complex and more and more targeted to the female gaze which is exactly why he snapped and made the choices he literally forced everyone else to go along with despite their protests with that scene to make it the most traumatizing scene in all of Buffy history not just for the audience but for the actors as well because yes it is incredibly horrific and upsetting to watch (which is why I skip it on rewatches) but I still am able to see if for what it is which is a narcissist lashing out at people he hates because he hasn't been able to control them and too bad for him I refuse to be manipulated by his bullshit so it failed completely and made so many of us that much more stubbornly protective of Spike and his and Buffy's relationship not just from other fans but from the creator himself 🙃🖕🏻like he basically just trauma bonded us to Spike and Buffy which has led to the creation of one of the most devoted, loyal, intelligent fanbases who is absolutely unhinged (affectionate) with their love of this character and his relationship which is why we are all still creating and writing about this character 25 year later and show absolutely zero signs of slowing down or stopping 💀

[iifishizzleii]

a 141!fanfic, except it’s told from the point of view of the reader’s best friend— you. like, actual you.

(pt. 2)

you, who sees neighbor!simon while walking the reader to their apartment late at night, catching simon as he steps out his apartment, locking the door and dressed to the nines in black and a balaclava, and you immediately drag reader into their apartment. you don’t even let them say hi to him because he’s a fucking behemoth dressed in “bitch what the FUCK” and with a hint of three “hell”s and four “naw”s. and there’s no way in hell you’re standing within ten feet of him without your mace. and when reader decides to bake him goodies anyways to be a ‘good neighbor’ despite your protests of “you think it’s cute until your fucking underwear is going missing when you do laundry and that guy is suddenly at every store and shop you go to”. (reader calls you an asshole for that, and you say you’re being realistic while holding back from putting cyanide in the brownie mix) and it ends up with neighbor!simon opening his door, eyes darting down to reader’s bashful smile and freshly baked goods, before widening a fraction when he sees you standing not too far behind with a metal bat behind your back.

you, who spots drunk!soap flirting with drunk reader at a bar and immediately whisks them away, arms wrapped around their sides like a mama bear carrying their cub. you ignore the pointed look the scottish man sends you, obviously annoyed at your interruption, so you flip him off and threatening to pin his dick to a wall if he so much as tries to follow you guys out. and when he persists, giving out his help to drag poor reader, intoxicated out of their mind, back to your car. so you start barking at him like how those girls would bark at unwanted attention from men in the tiktoks u see. and it shocks soap silent because one— he’s never been refused before. and two— he’s never been refused by a fucking bark. but he’s too flabbergasted (and drunk) to do much more than watch you toss reader into the passenger seat of your car and speed off. if he memorizes your license plate in that span of time, you don’t know that yet.

you, who’s visiting reader at the diner they work at. you’re sitting by yourself at one of the smaller booths— you don’t mind because you’re only there until reader gets off their shift so that you both can go hang out after. but, it’s five minutes before they can clock out when a man with skin the color of fresh soil and the roundest brown eyes knocks their drink on accident, a full pint of beer spraying all over the countertop. customer!gaz notices the spilt he caused, but only gives reader— who’d already changed out of uniform and had their bag slung over one shoulder— a glance and a quick smile before returning to his seemingly important conversation with a man in a boonie hat. and, that’s all it takes to get you rising from your seat and storming toward the scene, snagging a bunch of paper towels from your table and rushing over to help reader clean the mess up. you don’t care if you’re not supposed to— they’re off work, which means they shouldn’t be cleaning up after grown men who can’t spare their own mistakes a glance. and that’s exactly what you spit at both men, watching them both snap their heads at you as you loudly hiss, “you think you’re too fucking good to at least apologize for your mess? fucking dickeads”, then turning around to give reader a reassuring smile and helping finish in cleaning the mess. when customer!price begins to apologize and so does his companion, both looking equally apologetic, you only roll your eyes and guide reader out by the hand while also ignoring the way reader seemed to gush about both of the handsome men. as if they had conveniently forgotten about how it was their fault you both reeked of beer now.

you, who runs from hell and back to keep reader away from the 141 because they’re sketchy as fuck, even from a civilians standpoint. but, all that energy you put in redirecting their focus somewhere else, only puts it on an entirely unexpected target; you. like, actual you.

[billybob598]

Consequences of Our Actions (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

2 fics in one day whaaaa?????? Double whammy bitches. Anyways here's part 2! Next fic will be pt2 to How Many People? Again, any feedback good or bad welcomed! Enjoy reading!

Part 1 here

Word Count: 1.3K (kinda short but who cares? (me))

“And it’s another goal for Y/N Y/L/N! Wow! She has been blossoming here at Bayern Munich.” Alexia tries to ignore the game playing on the TV in the team's common area.

“Could you shut that off, gracias,” she calls out to her teammates.

“Oh, come one Ale. Just because she’s not our teammate anymore doesn’t mean we can’t support her,” Mapi says back as she watches Ingrid dance around happily at another one of your goals. You had transferred to Bayern a little over a month ago, breaking Alexia’s heart while simultaneously repairing yours. It didn’t help that you were performing better than you had ever at Barca. Everyone at Barca understood your decision, you were not getting the playing time you deserved and the few close to you knew that it was tearing you apart to be around Alexia every day. Moving was for the best, for everyone. Everyone except Alexia, it took her days, a lot of movies, and her mother’s home cooking before she recovered from walking into your bare apartment. While she had thought about contacting you numerous times, Ingrid and Keira had advised her not to, stating that it would only make things worse. The captain missed you. She missed how whenever she called you’d be there, she missed how happy you looked when you were playing football, she missed how you’d give her kisses on the forehead before she fell asleep, she missed everything about you. While you were out there, playing and looking better than ever, Alexia was kicking herself over how she let you slip through her fingers. Her teammates were starting to become concerned, they’d never seen Alexia so hung up on anyone, not even Jenni. 

Almost two months since moving to Germany and you were thriving. Everyone was so kind, the team welcomed you with open arms, the fans were already calling you an integral part of the team, everything was going perfectly. Yet, you still felt this emptiness in your heart. You knew what you were missing, but the whole point of moving was to get over her. You’d be damned if you let yourself fall down that rabbit hole again. So, you went on dates, sometimes they’d be mutual connections, sometimes they were from dating apps, and sometimes they were set up by your friends. None of them made you feel like Alexia did. None of them gave you that certain rush of adrenaline that she did. You were trying everything to get over her, but no matter what, at least once a day your thoughts would wander back to her. Reaching out to her was something you contemplated regularly however, the few friends you had made in Germany had told you not to. They said that you were there to heal. They were right, of course. But, everything just seemed off without her, Alexia gave you balance. As weird as it sounds, she was your everything even if you weren’t hers. 

Once again Alexia’s finger was hovering over your contact. Once again she sighed and turned her phone off. Instead, she decided to shoot her mom a quick text asking if she could come over. Ten minutes later, Alexia is settled on her mom’s couch with Eli sitting across from her with a concerned look on her face.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong, carino,” Eli asks delicately. Alexia groans in frustration.

“I don’t know, mama. I thought I would be okay, but every damn thing reminds me of her. She just won’t get out of my head. I can’t believe I lost her!” She exclaims, her hands running down her face. Eli just looks sympathetically at her daughter.

“Maybe you haven’t lost her, bebe.”

“What?”

“I mean, you could always go after her, eh? Don’t you have a few days off anyway? Go see her, tell her how you feel about her,” her mother tries to convince her. Alexia shakes her head,

“Mama, what makes you think she would want to see me? I broke her heart. I’m the reason she left! She probably wants nothing to do with me,” she mumbles out the last part sadly.

“You don’t know that. You won’t know that until you talk to her,” Eli reasons, trying everything to get her daughter to shoot her shot. Slowly nodding her head, Alexia starts to come around to the idea. Whipping out her phone, she quickly searches for flights to Munich.

The next day, Alexia walks through the streets of Munich. Surprisingly, your face is everywhere. Billboards, bus benches, store windows, apparently the people of Germany adored you. This doesn’t ease Alexia’s nerves at all. She had it all planned out, after reaching out to one of the Bayern coaches she had a connection with, she was able to discover what time your guys’ training ended and what coffee shop you frequently visited after. So, she waits inside the coffee shop for a few minutes until you walk in. You looked perfect, your hair was still damp from the shower, the Bayern Munich hoodie you donned fit you just right, and the veins on your hand popped ever so slightly when you removed your backpack from your shoulders. There was only one small problem. You weren’t alone. Accompanying you was Klara Bühl. She was standing a little too close to you, her hand a little too close to yours, her laugh a little too loud at your joke. Alexia wanted to sink into her seat. She wanted to disappear. You had moved on. God, she was stupid for thinking you would wait around for her, clearly you had not. She pushed the cap resting on her head further down. Now she had to get out of there. Taking one last sip of her coffee, she stood up as inconspicuously as she could. Her feet moved swiftly carrying her towards the exit, she was almost there, so close. 

“Alexia?” Your voice stopped her dead in her tracks. She did not want to turn around, she was begging that you would let her go. You did not. “Is that you?” Taking a deep breath, Alexia spun around on her heel with a forced smile on her face.

“Y/N? Hey!” Her voice was about two octaves higher than normal.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, Klara sitting behind you was smiling softly.

“Umm, nothing. We had a few days off,” she tries to work her way out of the situation. 

“So you came to Germany? Really?” Your eyebrow was raised slightly. You did not buy it. 

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. Just enjoy your time with your girlfriend,” Alexia snapped, gesturing towards the German behind you. Your eyes widened at the insinuation that Klara was your girlfriend, but before you could say anything Alexia turned around and stormed out of the quiet cafe. You stood frozen to the spot, dumbfounded.

“Go get your girl, dumbass,” Klara, your friend, speaks up from her spot. Didn’t need to tell you twice, you shake out of your trance and sprint through the doors before searching down the sidewalks. Klara watches in amusement while sipping her coffee. Your neck was starting to ache from how quickly you were whipping it around looking for Alexia. Finally spotting her blonde streaked hair in the crowd. You push your way through many groups of people until you reach the Spanish player. Alexia jumps in surprise at your hand suddenly making its way onto her shoulder. 

“Y/N? Wha-” 

“Shut up and let me speak,” you cut her off. She immediately stops her question. “I’ve missed you, Ale. Like, a lot. I tried to move on, I did, but for some unfathomable reason, I can’t. I know you said ‘no’ before but if I’m right in thinking that you flew over here to see me then, I think I can ask again,” You take a deep breath, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” Alexia’s face breaks out into a blinding smile. She looks at you, her heart beating like crazy inside of her chest.

“I would love nothing more.”