#no because ive never really learned how to study because like i never really needed it

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

i have tried a lot of things but nothing works for me. how do you study for multiple hours a day effectively. my multiple hours of study consist of 20 minutes of actually studying and the rest of it doing something else because i get distracted. i cannot focus. and when i do miraculously succeed in keeping my focus i dont even memorize the majority of it. im at my wit's end

[dbphantom]

maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

[pepprs]

hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.

[mrfoox]

Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired

[im-sleepdeprived]

Can you write something about co-workers to friends to lovers?

fix you up

pairing: peter parker x reader

a/n: i won’t lie to y’all idk how i feel abt this one. its cute dgmw but i hope you guys like it !!! ive had this request for an EMBARRASSINGLY long time, anon if you’re upset, i totally understand

warnings: mentions of injuries, burns, rude customers, bandaging some wounds n stuff, fluff and pining !!! (disclaimer: I’ve never been a barista so forgive me if this is a lil off)

masterlist, requests are open !!

Working in a rustic-vintage-corner-campus-cafe was definitely not how you saw your college years going. Your teen self would’ve killed to work at a place like this but when you grew up, you realized just how different the workload is between a high school student and a uni one such as yourself. 

You weren’t complaining of course. The pay was adequate, your manager was a simple old lady who never had much to say other than making sure all the equipment was clean, you got along with your coworkers pretty well for the most part and the customers were tolerable. 

But every once in a while, you’d get an entitled shithead who seemed to make it their life’s mission to ruin someone else’s day. And the problem with working a social job such as you did, is that you were an easy target. 

It started off as a fairly simple day, you clocked in and put on your apron ready to start your shift for the day. You preferred late morning shifts, leaving afternoons for classes (and the rouge 8am lecture every now and then) and nights for going out or studying. 

“Oh, Y/N! Thank god you're here,” Your co-worker, Vanessa, exclaimed.

Vanessa was a few years older than you. She actually wasn’t a student, she’d given college a try and it wasn’t her thing. Apparently, all it did was “try to undermine unstoppable greatness.” She was chatty, but you actually liked that about her. She could keep up a conversation with a statue. When you first started off here she’d been the one to show you the ropes and ever since then, you’d had a specific bond with her that you couldn’t really put a name to.

You gave her a small smile, “Yeah well, I do prefer to show up when promised. Especially when my paycheck depends on it,” you let out a small laugh.

“Yes! See, that's what I love about you,” she made a disgusted face, “Unlike Peter. Honestly, I don't understand how he hasn’t been fired yet! He shows up at least half an hour late to every shift yet Miss Hannigan still keeps him around.”

“Oh,” you stuttered, raising your hands a little in defense, “I didn't mean it as a jab at Peter, I swear.”

She tossed a curled blonde lock of hair over her shoulders while waving her other hand in dismissal, “Honey, don’t worry about it. I know you would never, you’re far too sweet for that. But I wouldn’t blame you if you did, you know, having to work more than half your shift alone? I swear if Bernard did that to me,” she made a big show of gesturing to herself, "I would not deal with it.”

While what she was saying wasn’t necessarily wrong, it didn’t feel right talking about Peter like that. Sure, he was late most of the time, leaving you to do most of the work while you waited for him to show up (somehow when he started working you two got the same shift together and it’s just been that way ever since) and while you, also, normally wouldn’t put up with this, there was something different about Peter. You never felt like he was taking advantage of you, and purposefully made you pick up extra slack. It was quite the opposite actually, he always apologized profusely and never slacked when he was on the clock. He always seemed so rushed and out of breath, you were pretty sure the poor boy just needed to learn how to manage time better. Plus, he always took it upon himself to unpack the orders because of all the heavy lifting required (you couldn’t tell just by looking at him, with all the sweaters he wore, but man was he ripped.)

“He’s actually really sweet.” You’re not sure why exactly you’re so keen on defending Peter. You two barely spoke, outside of work of course, and you don’t know much about him. But something inside you didn’t like anyone assuming anything bad about him. 

“Yea, well, he’d be a ton sweeter if he clocked in on time,” she laughed as she untied her apron, getting ready to leave. You faked a laugh as well, not wanting the conversation to progress any further. 

“Alrighty, well,” she heaved a breath, “I'm off, have a good rest of your day Y/N.”

You smiled once again and sent a wave her way before settling down in front of the register. It was slow today, not many people in the shop. A fellow student you only recognized from work sat in a corner booth with their headphones locked in and was working on what seemed to be some kind of essay. 

There was an older woman, however, looking incredibly irritated at the table closest to you. You’d never seen her before but that wasn’t too strange. It was a near-campus cafe, after all, lots of people passing through. She looked to be typing on her phone until, suddenly, she shut it off and made direct eye contact with you. 

If looks could kill, you would’ve dropped dead behind the counter, which wouldn’t be all that ideal considering you couldn’t remember the last time anyone mopped that side of the store. 

She stood up and walked towards you and you already dreaded the conversation to come.

“I have an order,” she spit out, as if she were disgusted to even be talking to you at the moment. 

No greeting or anything, wow. Someone wasn’t raised right. 

Nonetheless, you put on your well-rehearsed customer service smile and gave in. “Sure, I’d be happy to help with that. Can you just give me the order?”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I shouldn’t have to, I called in and placed it and it should be ready by now. I'm going to be late!”

You froze for a moment, not quite sure what to do, “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience ma’am, but I just got here and I haven’t heard anything,” you glance at the little whiteboard kept on the counter for these exact situations only to find it empty, “and I don’t see anything here about a phone-placed order. Are you sure you have the right store?”

Her face was so red and steam was practically blowing out of her ears, “Of course, I have the right store! Do you think I'm stupid or something?”

“No! Of course not, I'm so sorry,” you start to blabber off, not wanting to make her any angrier than she already was, “I’ll get things ready for you right away ma’am.”

You turned around and tried to make yourself not freak out as badly as you wanted to. It was so humiliating getting yelled at like this in public! And yeah, maybe if you had such a problem with unpleasant interactions like this, you shouldn't have taken a social job such as this one, but honestly, you thought people would have enough manners not to act up like this. Apparently not. 

It slipped your mind for a moment because of how scrambled you got when the lady flipped her lid, but Vanessa has been known to do this, forget to write down orders and leave you to fend for yourself (quite literally since your coworker was never really around) and you’re pretty sure that’s what happened here. Other customers were usually more understanding than this woman bordering on Kathy-Bates-movie-character-insanity over a drink order. 

You reached into your back pocket, deciding you’d try to send her a hurried text about any phone calls she might remember. That just seemed to anger your customer more.

“Excuse me?! I'm sitting here waiting for my order and you're too busy chatting away on your phone?”

You lose yourself for a moment and you can’t feel your face anymore. 

“I am so sorry ma’am,” you repeat, which seems to be your mantra since you started working today, “I was just checking to see if-,”

“I don't care what you were checking, or what you need to see! Give me what I paid for,” her hand started smacking against the counter loud enough for the only other person in the store to look up, broken from their reverie. They merely shot you an apologetic look before getting back to their work, leaving you to fend for yourself.

“You have terrible customer service, honestly. I come here every Tuesday with my book club, but never again. If I don’t get exactly what I asked for in the next five minutes, I'm calling your boss and not leaving until I'm sure you’re fired.” 

You shake your head, “There’s no need to do that ma’am, I'll get everything ready for you.”

You turned around once again, this time, heading towards the cappuccino machine. You’re not sure why you said that considering you have no clue what ‘everything’ is that has to get ready. 

In all honesty, there’s a low chance that a suburban-white-soccer-mom type would have any real effect on your employment. Miss Hannigan would surely not fire you just because some order forgot to be written down and some customer got pissed. Right?

But you really didn’t want to find out. 

So, you started up the machine and turned to grab a cup. Today, apparently, was just doomed from the start. As you turned to grab one of the cups placed on the shelf over the machine, your hand hit the button that turned on the steam wand. Which was aimed directly at your other hand. 

You bit down the yelp that threatened to escape and jumped back, the back of your hand now searing with pain. Instinctively, your other hand came to cup your injured one, which only made it worse. You fought back tears as you moved to turn the steam back off. 

Inhaling deeply, you took a moment to try to get your mind working again. “Hello?!” Of course. You turned your head and gave her the fakest smile you’ve ever mustered in your whole life. “One minute ma’am.”

You could hear her going off about how she doesn’t have a minute to spare, but you ignored her, trying to think of what the hell you could give her to just get her out of your face. You’d have to guess her order since I wasn’t actually taken. You’d started playing a game with yourself since you worked here, guessing people's drink orders, and you’d say you’ve gotten pretty good. 

You peeked a look back at her. You’d had customers around her age come in before and order, for the most part, the same thing. A plain cappuccino. Seemed like a safe bet.

Swallowing down the pain as best you could, you approached the machine again. This time, taking out the portafilter. It must’ve not been put in correctly because it clattered to the ground, coffee grinds falling around the floor. 

You wanted to cry. Your hand hurt like hell, there was a new mess to deal with, and that lady hadn’t stopped complaining since you stepped in. 

Frozen, you began to panic a little, breaths coming out sporadically. You’d leave the sweeping for later, but you had to clean the filter so you could use it because it was the only one. And the slightest brush of air made your hand burn even more. You had no clue how to go about this. Maybe if you-

Like an angel, Peter rushed in through the side door. Tying his apron around his waist, he looked towards you. Your hand flew up to your mouth at his perfect timing and you saw his expression grow more concerned. 

He rushed towards you. “What happened?” And for a second, you forget everything that was stressing you out just a few moments before. He grabbed your hand so gently, you forgot every ounce of pain. 

“I cannot believe this!” She wasn’t giving up and you shut your eyes in frustration, turning to reply to her again. But before you can open your mouth, Peter steps in. “Hold on, can’t you clearly see she’s hurt?”

She scoffed and crossed her arms, “That’s her fault. If she knew how to do her job, it wouldn’t have happened.”

You could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. His expression hardened and his mouth opened to shoot something back at her, but this time, you cut him off. You placed your non-injured hand on his shoulder and gave him a look. 

He stared at you for a few seconds before finally giving in, blowing out some air in a frustrated huff. “Go wait for me inside,” he told you, nodding his head toward the employees-only backroom. 

“What?” You asked confused. You didn’t wanna leave him alone. 

“You’re not working right now, there’s no way I’m letting you. I’ll deal with her. Go, I’ll be right there,” he said, shoving you away gently.

Once you heard that he’d be following you, you were more willing. You walked through the door and took a seat at the table usually used for meal breaks. The ‘break room’ was a small room positioned in the back of the store. You can’t remember what this place used to be (a diner maybe?) but this specific room was used as an office, but Miss Hannigan claimed she had no use for an office so it was used for employee breaks. 

Every ounce of you was grateful for Peter’s Superman moment back there. He came in today earlier than usual and he’d totally saved your ass. You were going to make sure to tell him. 

You weren’t waiting long before the door opened again and Peter walked in, holding a backpack you hadn’t seen on him before. In his other hand, he held a drink. He placed the drink on the table before he grabbed one of the chairs, bringing it close to yours, and you turned your body to face him. 

He picked up your hand again, just as gently as before. “Alright,” he let out a breath of relief, “it’s not as bad as I thought, but, it’s still gonna take a while to heal. Wait,” he leaned over, unzipping his bag and taking supplies out while you just stared at him.

“I thought you majored in biochemistry.” You blurted out. Your face heated up a little when he looked at you curiously.

“I- I saw your textbooks once when you left your bag open. And I’ve seen you around campus, near the science-y buildings…and stuff.” You shrugged and he chuckled. 

“I do,” he nodded, “any medical stuff is self-taught. I get into a lot of…accidents.”

“Oh.” You nodded at him. What kind of accidents would he get into? You’d never seen him hurt, but what did you know. 

“I take it you don’t major in anything science-y,” he said, grinning at you.

You shook your head, “No, I don’t. But I have a chemistry class I have to take for credit. Which makes no sense because chemistry has nothing to do with what I want to learn.”

He laughed and set his bag back down, everything he needed was now laid out on the table. “Okay,” he picked up a white tube with red lettering on it. “This is gonna help with pain and scarring. I’m going to spread some of this, then wrap it up for you.” You looked at the table and saw he’d also taken out some white gauze. What kind of ‘accidents’ did he get into?

You nodded, at a complete loss for words. You had no idea Peter knew so much about injuries and you were so thankful he was helping you out. You didn’t hate each other, but you weren’t close either.

He applied a small amount to the back of your hand, asking you constantly if you were okay as he rubbed it on softly. Honestly, even if it did hurt, you wouldn’t have the heart to tell him.

He finished up with the cream and moved onto the gauze, expertly wrapping it up to lightly cover your wound. When he was finished with that, he carefully tied it off, making sure not to tie it too tight.

“There,” he leaned back and smiled at you, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “All fixed up.”

 “Thank you, Peter, really.” You reluctantly pulled your hand back into your lap, missing the warmth of his fingers wrapped around it.

“You don’t need to thank me Y/N, it’s the least I could do. I’m just glad I got here earlier than usual.”

You nodded and looked down. “Well thanks anyway, you saved my ass back there. Seriously, I have no idea what’s wrong with me today but I kept fucking everything up.”

“Hey,” he said softly, making you look up and meet his gaze. “You didn’t fuck anything up. Okay? You made a few mistakes, but that's not your fault. She shouldn’t have been treating you like that, especially when you’d hurt yourself.” He looked away and scoffed as he remembered the terrible customer that had ruined your morning. You would’ve felt extremely touched by his care if it weren’t for his next words.

“All that for a plain fucking cappuccino.” He mumbled.

“A plain cappuccino? Really?” You asked excitedly, forgetting about everything, and grinning at him wildly. 

“Um, yeah…why?” He asked you, confusion was written all over his face, but he couldn’t help his own smile slightly growing when he noticed your enthusiasm.

“Nothing,” you shook your head quickly, smile never fading, “I just…well, I play this game with myself where I guess people's drink orders. And I think I’m getting pretty good because that’s exactly what I was going to make her before you walked in.”

He laughed out loud and you joined in. “What’s my order?” He asked. 

You paused for a moment. “A caramel macchiato with extra caramel.”

He looked at you for a bit, “Close,” he admitted. “It used to be.”

“So are you gonna tell me what it is now?”

Shaking his head, he leaned over the table and dragged the drink he’d brought in earlier in front of you. “Here,” he changed the subject, “I made you this.”

You’d completely forgotten about it, and when you took a closer look, you realized it was your coffee order. 

Your mouth fell open, “How’d you know?”

He just shrugged, smiling slightly. He knew it was your favorite, but the confirmation was still nice. “I've seen you make it for yourself. Educated guess.”

“Oh my god,” you said, voice soft. It was a simple thing really, you had one most days at the end of your shift. But the fact that he’d noticed… It just meant a lot. “Thank you so much, Peter.”

He just waved you off, his smile growing when he noticed your reaction to the drink. He couldn’t believe he got a chance to speak to you. Truly speak to you. He was always too awkward or embarrassed or trying to avoid embarrassment. But now, while he didn’t like the circumstances that led you both here, he was actually talking to you. And it was nice.

“So,” he started, not wanting this to end just yet, “you said you’ve got a chemistry class?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, picking up your drink and taking a sip. “The one with Professor Hall. I actually have a class after this shift. I totally suck though, and he hates me. I just don’t get it, and he doesn’t explain it well!”

Peter nodded, completely understanding what you meant. It was a tough subject to begin with, and he knew not everyone was as into science as he was, add onto that a teacher who doesn’t really teach, it’s a recipe for disaster. 

“I actually had that class. Last year. I can help you, sometimes. If you’d like me to, that is!” He rushed out. Great, he thought, now I’m getting awkward. 

You looked up at him, eyes wide. “Really? Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I think I’ve still got my notes too, if you want ‘em.” He shrugged nonchalantly as if he wasn’t saving your ass again. 

“Oh my god Peter,” you placed your non-injured hand on his knee, not noticing the way his body stiffened and he gulped. “That would help so much. There’s a huge exam coming up, and it's a huge part of my grade so I have to pass. I started cramming earlier but—”

“I’ll help,” he reassured you, “I enjoy science anyway, so it’ll be fun for me.”

“Thank you,” you repeated. Staring at him so close, you realized you’d never noticed how handsome he was. Sure there were times you thought he was cute, from afar, but now…you could see the different shades of brown in his eyes, the way one of his eyebrows was slightly curlier than the other, unwilling to sit straight. You couldn’t help but stare-

“Oh my god,” you repeated, except this time, you had remembered something. “If we’re both in here, who’s outside?”

“What? Oh, um,” he scratched the back of his neck, still reeling from having you so close to him. “Freddy’s out there?”

“Freddy?” You asked confused. 

He nodded. “The guy writing on his laptop, he’s friends with my roommate, throws the craziest parties. He’s chill, I told him to keep an eye out if someone else walks in. But it’s been slow, so I think we’re good.”

“Oh, okay.” You said, standing up. “We should probably still go though.”

He stood up beside you, frowning. “I don’t think you should work with your hand hurt. I don’t want you accidentally making it worse.”

Your heart warmed at his concern. “That's really sweet Peter, but I’ll be fine. I don’t know what happened before, I never do stuff like that, even accidentally.”

He still didn’t look convinced. “Why don’t you just go home? I can take it for today.”

You shook your head quickly, “I’m not leaving. I have a class later and it would just be a waste of time going back and forth anyway.”

You walked towards the door, opened it, and exited before he had a chance to argue anymore. You stepped behind the counter while Peter rushed out behind you. You watched Freddy give him a thumbs up and Peter nodded at him before he followed right after you. 

“Are you sure you should go to class today? I can walk you home so you can take the day off,” he offered, and he looked so genuine you almost accepted. 

“Peter,” you laughed and he decided no matter what your response was, it wouldn’t matter because hearing you say his name like that was enough. “I’ll be fine, I didn’t break both my legs, it's just a small burn.”

He stared at you for a bit as you smiled at him, trying to get him to ease up. “Fine,” he gave in reluctantly. “But no going towards the cappuccino machine,” he waved a finger at you, “or the ovens. Or anything hot!”

“Fine,” you shot back, grinning wide and he couldn’t help but return it.

The rest of the morning had gone by easily and you thought maybe you didn’t have totally shit luck. Peter was way more fun than you ever thought he’d be and you wondered why you didn’t start talking to each other sooner. 

It used to be silently working together but after those few moments in the break room, you guys were laughing your whole shift. He meant what he said, and he kept you away from anything that produced heat (which you told him was an insane boundary to set in a cafe) so you had extra time to make quips here and there.

You started playing your order-guessing game with him, teaching him certain traits that gave someone away:

“Side part, beanie, and a crossbody? Oh, he’s getting a tall, dark, americano for sure.”

“She’s getting tea. No coffee, just tea. Maybe with a little lemon wedge.”

And he started to get the hang of it. 

“She looks like she drinks matchas right?” He said to you when a girl around your age walked in. He’d been right and you both laughed about it afterwards. 

When your work shift ended, you were actually upset. 

“I’ve got a class to get to,” you told him, lifting your bag onto your shoulder. You’d both cleaned up and gotten yourselves ready, now standing in front of the door. Something in you didn’t want to leave just yet, enjoying your time together far too much to end it so soon. 

“Yeah…” he trailed off, you waited for him to continue but he hesitated. 

“What is it?” You crossed your arms and smiled slightly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. He brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, “I just…well, I was just wondering—if it's okay with you of course!” He rushed out, quickly bringing his hands up. “That I could walk you to class?”

You laughed, “I’d love that Pete, thank you.” You turned to open the door to let you both out but he quickly moved forward, holding it open for you and motioning for you to move forward. 

Looking back at him, you smiled and noticed his cheeks were a little red. How had you never noticed how adorable he was?

The walk back to campus wasn’t long but you learned a lot. He told you where he went to high school, his friends he still kept in touch with, his Aunt May, some funny moments from parties he’d been forced to attend by his roommate, and you laughed together.

You told him about the book you were currently reading, your life back home and your family, and why you chose to go to this college. He went along with your jokes, which made it all the more better for you. “I mean if you think about it,” you'd said, “it is so much easier to romanticize your life  when your school campus is as pretty as this one, and that’s real motivation!”

The conversation flowed naturally between you two and it felt like you’d been friends for ages. He dropped you off outside of your class building with the promise of picking you up afterward so you two could study together. 

“So I’ll be back here in an hour right,” he asked. 

“Right,” you smiled at him. “And thanks again Pete, for everything.” You held up your bandaged hand, shaking it a little before setting it back down. 

He shook his head quickly, “Don’t thank me for that. Really.”

You stared at him with a warm expression. “Bye Peter,” you waved as you turned to walk into your class.

“Bye Y/N,” he returned. He watched you walk through the doors, shooting him one last smile before you disappeared from view, before blowing out a breath of air. 

He’d finally gotten a chance to talk to the girl he’d been crushing on for months, and he got to walk her to class! And they were meeting up afterward. After working so close to you and never having the guts to initiate a conversation, he’d settled for just admiring you from afar. But after today, there was nothing that could keep him away. 

You were not having a good day. 

You’d just found out that your chemistry exam was being bumped up to two days from now. Even with the early studying you’d done before, there was no way you could catch up with everything that fast. You were so overwhelmed you had completely forgotten Peter was waiting for you outside. 

You walked out, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth, and you practically jumped out of your skin when someone placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said, his voice soft yet full of concern. Peter. “It's just me. What happened?”

The second he saw you walk out, he could tell something was off. He could literally sense the anxiety rolling off of you in waves. He had waited for you to look up and stop when you saw him, but you were just about to walk past him before he stopped you. Now, you were looking at him with distress coating every feature on your face. Your brows were pinched, your lip red from biting it, and your eyes wide and distant like you couldn’t even see him and he was standing right in front of you. Something had gone wrong and he wanted nothing more than to fix it. 

“What is it? What’s wrong? He asked frantically. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered, hands flying up to the sides of your head and gripping your hair. You weren’t looking at him anymore, “Oh my god.”

“Ok Y/N,” he said nervously, “you’re starting to scare me.”

“Two days Peter!” You looked at him wildly. “Two days! I can’t go over everything in two days, is he fucking insane? I didn’t even know he could do something like that, I mean, can he do something like that? I feel like that shouldn’t be allowed it should—”

You cut yourself off and started pacing back and forth in front of him. “Oh my god, I’m gonna bomb this. And if I fail, it’ll bring my whole grade down! I can’t afford that I—”

“Hey,” he repeated, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder again. “I said I’m gonna help you, and I meant it. So we’re gonna get through this together, even if we have to stay up all night.”

You stared at him, trying to wonder what you’d done in your life to deserve such an angel. 

You shook your head quickly, “I really appreciate that Peter, but I’m serious. There’s no way I can learn everything I need to know that fast.”

You tried to smile at him but it didn’t reach your eyes. 

He grinned, his expression the total opposite of yours. “Well, you’ve clearly never studied with me, so don’t sound too sure yet.”

Another thing you’d come to realize was just how smart Peter was. 

You really should’ve known when he told you he’d taken that advanced chemistry class a year ago. And passed. 

Looking through his notes, you could see his attention to detail. He really wasn’t a slacker in the classroom because everything was clearly laid out here. 

You’d spent that night going over everything and you’d actually started to feel hopeful about it. Peter was a way better teacher than Professor Hall, and it didn’t hurt that he was so cute. He was understanding with everything and was willing to go over any part for as long as it took for you to fully grasp it. 

At the end of the night, he’d undone the wrappings around your hand, reapplied the cream for you, and wrapped it up again.

“It’s doing okay,” he reassured you. “Like I said, it’s gonna take a while, but if it starts hurting or anything, take some medicine. Then find me.”

You were sure you’d just melted into his hands at that moment.

The next day, you couldn’t wait to get through everything and see him again, even if you were going to be talking about chemistry. 

You weren’t scheduled to work at the cafe today, so you’d only get to meet up after both of your classes. 

Lectures were a blur, nothing really catching your attention and you spent most of the time with your phone tucked in your hand texting back and forth with Peter, barely concealing your laughter when he sent you memes. 

It was like that all day, until, finally, you made your way over to his small apartment he shared with one of his friends. 

its very quaint 🤌

(totally NOT what we say to make ourselves feel better about this shoebox)

He’d told you over text, making you laugh out loud as you made your way over there. 

dw🫡 I was one of those kids who used to live in their play tents and hid in random corners and spaces

im totally ready for this

ok but be warned, we do not have a pet!!! they are not allowed per our lease!!! ignore the cat when you come in!!! tell no one!!!

what cat ??

good girl ;)

Your face flushed as you made your way up the steps to his door. You knocked three times and barely had to wait a second before Peter stood before you, holding the door open. 

“Hi,” he said, smiling at you. 

“Hi,” you grinned back. You heard a small ‘meow’ come from behind him and he quickly held up a finger to his lips. You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh as you nodded at him. 

“Come on in,” he said, stepping out of the way to lead you through the door. You stepped in and kicked off your shoes before looking around. It was plain, but that was to be expected really. 

There was a large poster hanging next to their TV, however, that caught your eye. “Big fan?” You asked him, shoving your thumb in the direction of the Star Wars poster. 

He shrugged nonchalantly, “Kind of.”

“Oh. Well, I was just asking because I love those movies. My little brother used to watch them and I got really into it.”

“Oh. I mean—I don’t know what I was saying before I love them too.” He rushed out, making you giggle.

He stayed staring at you for a bit, his eyes rounding out and his mouth gaping a little bit. 

You gave him a small smile, “Okay, well we should-” You let out a small yelp, hands flying to your mouth as you jumped back. 

The living room was small. The only things occupying it were the TV mounted to the wall, and in front of it, was a sofa. And on the sofa, was an unconscious body that you hadn’t noticed until it let out a low groan. You really weren’t sure how you missed it, there wasn’t much else to look at, but they had just been so still. 

Heart beating erratically, you turned towards Peter again, who was looking at you with all the amusement in the world written all over his face. “Was he always there,” you whispered, eyes wide.

He opened his arms, “Well, angel, I really don’t know. Did you see anyone come in?”

“Oh shut up,” you grumbled. “He looks familiar…is that..”

“Freddy.” He finished for you. Right. The dude from the cafe. 

“He crashes here sometimes.” He added.

You nodded. “Alright.”

“Shall we?” He opened a door beside him and looked at you. 

“Right. Yeah, of course.” You walked past him and into his room. You stopped after you entered, taking a moment to look around. His room was simple, with just his bed, a desk and chair, and a dresser perched next to another door you assumed was his closet. 

What really caught your attention, however, were the photos scattered all over the walls. The room was practically engulfed in Peter Parker’s memories, and you really liked it. Without thinking, you approached one wall, walking through them and taking each one in. 

There were some with large groups of people, those looked like school trips. Most of the photos were of the same two people, and based on what he’d told you, you assumed those were his friends. Ned and MJ. 

A lot of the photos contained an older woman, who looked stunning. That had to be his Aunt May. You were shocked by how many photos he had with the Tony Stark. He’d told you he had an internship at Stark Industries, but really, you sorta thought he just went on coffee runs all day. 

And then, you saw a couple shots of Spider-Man. It wasn’t unusual, you knew a lot of people snapped photos of the masked hero when they spotted him around the city. What was unusual, was the quality of the photos. You didn’t know if you’d ever seen such clear photos of him, even on the news, as he was always swinging and in motion. In these, Peter seemed to have caught him at just the right time. You wondered how long it took him to capture the photos.

“Big fan?” You smirked over at him from your spot by one of the Spider-Man photos as you repeated your words from earlier. 

Peter leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, content with watching go over the details of his life. He felt a little naked, like he was bared out in front of you. But…it felt good too. He liked knowing you were learning new things about him, and curious to know more. It filled him with an anxious sort of giddiness.

“You first,” he said slyly.

Laughing, you said, “Well, I don’t see how anyone can hate on the guy. He literally runs around saving lives”

He laughed as he approached you, standing by your side. You’d be surprised. “True I guess.”

“We should get to studying,” you said, breezing past him, your hand brushing his bicep as you did. He sucked in a breath, his entire body feeling electrocuted after that one touch. He wondered how you seemed so normal, laying out your books and papers on the floor beside his bed. 

This was gonna be a long night. 

He cleared his throat and moved to sit across from you, hoping he didn’t look as flushed as he felt. 

After a few moments of him watching you get settled, you heard him start laughing. Looking up you asked, “What’s so funny?”

That only made him laugh harder. “Just thinking about how scared you got before. Did you really not see him?”

You felt your face go hot. “I didn’t! I had no clue he was there, and next thing I know he’s making lawn mower nosies!”

Peter was red in the face now. “The way you flew back,” he said between fits of laughter, “I thought you’d give yourself whiplash.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled at him, picking up one of your pens and throwing it at him. It bounced off without him even flinching. 

You looked down, avoiding his gaze by busying yourself with your papers. 

“Okay I’m ready to be serious now,” he said. The laughter was gone but amusement twinkled in his voice. 

“Great! Welcome back Pete, now hand me that pen, I’m gonna need it.”

Two hours later, you were both sprawled across the floor tossing Chess-Its at one another. 

“Come on!” You threw your arms up in defeat when you threw another cracker at him just for him to catch it again. 

Peter chuckled, “Sorry angel, I’ve just got killer reflexes.”

“Alright whatever,” You rolled your eyes. “Come on, throw some at me.”

You opened your mouth, ready to finally win one round of this nonsense…just for a Cheez-It to hit your cheek and fall to the ground with the rest of your tries. 

Peter laughed while you sat up, reached to grab the box of crackers, and poured some into your hand before putting it back down. 

“Okay, I’m done. I actually want to eat them now.” You said, munching on a cracker and sitting against the side of his bed. 

“Oh come on, don’t be a quitter Y/N/N,” he grinned, leaning over and pinching your cheek. 

You swatted his hand away with your empty one. “M’not.”

He smiled at you before sitting up. “Hit me,” he said, opening his mouth and pointing at it. 

You grabbed a Cheez-It from the palm of your hand and made a big show of trying to get your aim right. Squinting one eye, you stared at him, moving your hand back and forth before tossing it slightly more to the right. On purpose. 

That didn’t stop him from leaning over and catching it in his mouth. 

“I don’t like this game,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you did,” he said back, munching on his Cheez-it. 

“Sue me,” you told him, brushing him off with a wave of your hand. 

He laughed before he settled down. “How’s your hand feeling by the way.” His voice was considerably softer now, making you smile softly at him. 

“It’s doing great, thank you again, Peter. I would’ve been totally fucked if it weren’t for you,” you told him honestly. 

He shook his head, “Don’t thank me at all Y/N. Hate seeing you hurt,” he mumbled, less to you and more to himself and he stayed staring at your wrapped-up hand. 

“Well don’t worry about that, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

“Yeah?” He looked at you suddenly, like he needed to know you meant it. 

“Yeah,” you nodded at him. 

“That’s good,” he breathed out and your heart squeezed at how much he seemed to care. 

“What's your plan? Y’know, for after school?” You didn’t want to leave just yet, even with your studying done. And you wanted to know more about him. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t taken a certain liking to him lately. 

“Well after I get my degree, I’m going move up a little further in Stark Industries. I’m still undecided on grad school, I think I’ve got everything I need and I’m probably just gonna start saving up to pay off student loans instead of adding on them.”

You nodded at him, “So the Stark internship is going well? No offense, I sort of thought you were their coffee mule.” You grinned at him before popping a Cheez-It in your mouth. 

He scoffed, “No, I’m not. I mean, it did take a while to get them to take me seriously, but I got there!”

You laughed, “Well, very proud of you Pete. That’s super impressive.”

He grinned at you, his face heating up at your words. He wondered if you knew how much it affected him every time you called him Pete. Probably not, but he never wanted you to stop. 

You two stayed like that for another hour or so, time passing by without you noticing at all. You talked about your futures, where you say yourselves after school, and after that. Your admiration for him only grew as you got to know him more. You could talk to him all night and never get bored honestly, you-

Shit. 

A random notification lit up your phone, which lay beside you on the floor, making you take notice of the time. 

You sat up quickly, spitting out curses as you started gathering your belongings and shoving them into your bag. 

Peter sat up as well, helping you get your things together but in a calmer manner than yourself. 

“Relax Y/N,” he said in a soothing voice. 

“Pete I can’t do it.” You turned to him suddenly, dropping everything in your hands. 

“Do what, angel?”

“The exam is tomorrow. I’m not ready! I’m gonna fail, and that one grade, that one stupid grade, is gonna hold me back and ruin everything-”

“Sweetheart look at me,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. His grip was warm and reassuring. “You are not going to fail. And I know this because I’ve spent the last few hours studying with you, and I saw how smart you are, and how quick you caught on. You’re gonna walk in there tomorrow and ace that test, I know you are!

“And if for some reason you don’t,” he continued, “you gave it your best. You tried your hardest and you learned something, which is all that matters in the end. So breathe, stop stressing, and let me walk you home.”

“All that talk as an excuse to ask to take me home?” You snorted, “Peter you shouldn’t have.” Despite your jokes, you took his advice and took a deep breath. He was right, you’d studied your hardest, both with and without his help. All you could do was take the exam and hope for the best now.

He laughed and stood up, holding out a hand once he saw you all packed and ready. “Caught me. So is that a yes?”

You took his hand and pulled yourself up but didn’t let go right away. “If I fail, do we have to stop hanging out? Y’know, with you being a science prodigy and all.”

He laughed again and placed both his hands on your shoulder, staring straight into your eyes. “Never.”

“Ok, well, just making sure. I wouldn’t wanna give you a bad rep in the science community or something-”

You were suddenly cut off from your babbling when he pressed his lips to yours. You froze for a second, unsure what to do, but it didn’t take long for you to catch up and kiss him back. 

He pulled away after a few moments, “Done with the jokes?” His voice was soft and teasing.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled, eyes still closed. “But I think you might need to do that again, just to be sure.”

He chuckled murmuring something that sounded like ‘too cute’ but you couldn’t be bothered to hear when you felt his lips on yours again, this time, expecting them. 

You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and canting your head slightly for better access. He groaned, one arm wrapping around your middle, the other settling on your waist.

You might have pictured kissing him before, just maybe. But none of your daydreaming could’ve prepared you for the real thing. The way his bottom lip covered your top one, the soft breaths exchanged between the two of you, the way he pressed himself further into you when you tugged his hair a little harder. This definitely beat all of your daydreams. 

You could’ve stayed that way forever, and you probably would’ve if Peter hadn’t taken one for the team and pulled away first. 

Or tried to, at least. 

“We should-” kiss. 

“You-” kiss. 

“I need to walk,” kiss, “-you home angel.” He murmured against your lips.

“Okay,” you whispered back but you didn’t move to pull away, and he didn’t push you. The two of you stayed stuck, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, taking in the atmosphere of each other. 

“I should probably go now,” you said softly. Peter hummed in agreement, leaning in to peck your lips gently. 

“It’s getting late,” but your voice is more of a sigh. You don’t know what he’s laced his lips with but each kiss makes you weak in the knees and woozier than the last one.

“God, d’yknow I’ve had the biggest crush on you.” He said, completely disregarding your previous statement. 

That stops you. “What?” You asked him in disbelief. Peter had a crush on you? No way, you would’ve known. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled lightly, “don’t act so shocked. I was always a stuttering mess at work whenever you so much as looked at me.”

True. But you’d just thought he was a bit more on the shy side. 

“I’d seen you around campus before and I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen, and I still do, but I thought I had no shot in hell with you. And when I got the job at the cafe and saw I’d be working with you? I almost lost my fucking mind sweetheart.” You both laughed a little and you couldn’t help the way your cheeks flamed up because of his words. Did he have any clue what he was doing to you right now?

“So I just sorta kept my distance, y’know? Admired you from afar ‘cause I was too scared you’d reject me. Sadly, it only took you nearly burning your hand off,” he gave you a look and you burst into giggles, him doing you and slightly pinching your waist, “for me to get over myself and actually keep up a conversation with you. But now I’ve got you in my room, kissing me.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, “lucky you.” You joked as leaned in to press another kiss to his lips. 

“Lucky me indeed,” he murmured before pulling you in even deeper. He dipped you, making you squeal into the kiss. Then he pulled you up, unable to keep the kiss going any longer with how hard he was grinning.

“Oh my god,” you said, laughing breathlessly. 

“A lot more where that came from,” he smirked at you. 

“You know,” you moved to pick up your bag, “for someone who was so scared to talk to me for so long, you sure found the confidence now.”

“What can I say? You make it easy. Once I started I couldn’t stop.” You smiled at him as he gently placed a hand on your arm leading you to the door. The living room was empty now, no one to be found on the couch or otherwise and you wondered where their cat had wandered off to.

You bent over to put on your shoes, Peter doing the same. He stepped forward and opened the door for you, letting you step out before following you and locking the door. 

As soon as he was done with that, you reached over and grabbed his hand. “Hey Petey?” You said lightly. Oh, he was going to melt. From now on, he only wanted you to call him that.

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you finally decided to talk to me.” 

He leaned down and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah? Me too angel.”

The next morning, you awoke in the brightest mood, considering you had a chemistry exam later that day. All you could think about was Peter. You were going to see him later at the cafe and you couldn’t wait. 

You leaned over in bed to pick up your phone. Speak of the devil. 

GOOD MORNINGGGGG❤️

hope you slept well angel, can’t wait to see you today. and you’re gonna totally ace that exam!🥰

seriously you’re going to kick chemistry’s butt

A huge smile bloomed on your face, almost hurting from how wide it was. Usually, you'd stay in bed for a while, scrolling through Instagram or just going through messages or something. Not today, you couldn’t wait to get to work. Maybe Peter was a good influence on you. 

After getting ready for the day, you made your way to the cafe with a little bounce in your steps. The bell jingled above you as you opened the door and for the first time since you’d started working together, Peter was here before you. 

“Hey,” he smiled, holding up your usual drink order and waving it at you. 

“Hi Pete,” you approached his, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. As you pulled away, you could see how quickly his cheeks pinked, making you grin. 

“No ‘Petey’?”

“Didn’t know you had a preference,” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling it towards you as you took a sip from the drink and then moved to get dressed for your shift. 

“Yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, wishing he could feel your hand on his for just a little longer, “neither did I.”

You laughed lightly as you tied your apron, the sound hitting him like the greatest melody in the world. 

“Okay then,” you walked towards him, stopping right in front of him, “let’s start over. Hi Petey.”

“Hi angel,” he gave you a dopey grin and you returned it. 

“Great, now that we’ve got that figured out.” You patted his chest lightly before taking the drink from his hands and moving away. 

“Hey wait! Where’s my kiss?” He pouted at you and he looked so adorable, you just wanted to pinch his cheeks and kiss him till he begged you to stop.

“We’re at work, we’ve gotta be professional.” You said matter-of-factly. 

He rolled his eyes, leaned against the counter, and crossed his arms. “Professional my ass, no one is even in here-,”

Before he could even close his mouth, the bell jingled, and in stepped a boy about your age. The boy moved to one of the chairs, not moving to order just yet, giving you the chance to smirk at Peter, who just rolled his eyes again. 

“What do you he’s gonna order,” he asked you.

“Hmm…a cookie, probably.” You moved lean against the counter across from him and took a sip of your drink as you smiled. 

“Hey wait, you never told me what your drink order is.”

“Hmm…” he hummed in consideration before he moved towards you, grabbing your hand with the drink and bringing it up to his lips to steal a sip, maintaining eye contact the whole time. 

“I’ve got to say,” he said in a low voice, “this one has really grown on me.”

You couldn’t look away, all you could do was stare. And stare, and stare, and stare…

A stranger’s voice, and then, “Hey, can I get one of those double chocolate chip cookies?”

You were just on cloud nine today. 

You had taken your exam and for the first time ever in that class, you had felt confident in your work. 

And to top it all off, after you’d handed in your paper and packed your things to leave, Professor Hall had given you a ‘well done’ nod. You! He’d never noticed you positively before. You were going to need to drown Peter in thank-you kisses for his help. 

Speaking of Peter, you couldn’t wait to see him. He told you he’d be waiting for you after your class but when you stepped outside, there was no sign of him. You decided to sit on the building steps and wait. He was probably just running a little late, no biggie. 

Big biggie. After 40 minutes of waiting for him, during which you’d sent him a little text and he hadn’t responded, you decided to head over to his place. 

The walk was short and your little buzz had worn off after not getting to share it with Peter. After all, you kind of owed him most of the credit. You arrived at his apartment door, and when you knocked, it wasn't Peter who answered. 

It's Freddy. 

You throw on a smile. “Hi Freddy, is Peter home?”

He returned your smile as he said, “‘Sup Y/N.” He held out his fist and you stared at it for a while before you got the hint and bumped it with your own. “Pete’s not home right now, but you can totally come in and wait for him.”

You found it funny that someone who didn’t live there was inviting you in to stay, but you accepted anyway. You also had no clue how he knew your name. 

You knew little about Freddy, but you knew he was sort of a campus celebrity. Every raging party there was, everyone knew Freddy was behind it. 

“So,” you said as you walked in, “what year are you in Freddy?”

“Ah nah, I’m done with that shit. I took the bar,” he said casually, waving a hand and moving to sit on the couch. He kicked his feet up on the large Amazon box being used as a coffee table and picked up the open beer sitting atop it. 

You stood in your place, clutching your bag. He was in grad school?

“Oh that’s awesome dude, did you not pass or something.”

“Uh uh,” he shook his head, taking a swig of beer, “got a 350.”

Your eyes widened. What. You didn’t know much about law school but you knew getting a score like that on the bar was not an easy thing. 

“Wait when’d you take it?” You asked confused. The bar exam wasn’t scheduled for a few months from now. 

“Last year.”

“Do you like…work at a firm or something?” It was insane to you that the party animal of this school had already graduated, and with an amazing score nonetheless. 

He shook his head, “Workin' on my music right now, and if that doesn’t work out,” he gave you a wicked grin, “well I’ve always got my law degree.”

You nodded, stunned. “That’s sick dude. Good luck,” you told him, waving as you moved to wait in Peter’s room. 

“Keep the door cracked kids,” he shouted towards you and you huffed a laugh as you entered the room and closed the door (leaving it open just an inch) before you sat at the foot of his bed. 

You looked around for a second, taking it all in. It’s amazing how he managed to take this small space and make it so him. 

After a few moments, you took out your phone to shoot him another text. 

But before you could finish typing it out, the window beside you started opening and you watched as the Spider-Man fell onto the bed, not noticing you gaping right next to him. 

You stayed silent, unsure of what to do or say until he moved to take his mask off. That got you moving and talking. 

“Holy fuck!” You basically shout, moving away, hands flying to your mouth. 

He seemed to be just as shocked as you were because he scrambled up from his lying position. And staring back at you was Peter Parker. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, eyes wide. It wasn’t till then that you noticed the paleness of his features, his face lacking that usually healthy glow it held, the waver in his voice, and the hand clutching his bloody side. 

“Holy fuck,” you repeated, voice lower, and for a whole different reason this time. “Shit Peter, you’re hurt.” You moved closer to him, temporarily forgetting everything else as your hand reached to gently remove his so you could take in the extent of his injuries. 

“It’s nothing,” he said but made no move to shove you away or stop you. You moved his hand and winced at the sight that greeted you, “Looks like a whole lot more than nothing babe.”

“I’ve had worse.”

You look up at him, frowning slightly, “Not exactly reassuring Petey.”

“I feel all better now,” he said, shooting you a charming grin as soon as he heard the nickname leave your mouth. “Add a kiss in the mix, and I’ll be good as new.”

You huffed a laugh, shoving his knee slightly, “Shut up Peter. I’m serious. I’m sure you’ve got some experience with stuff like this,” you wave a hand towards his suit and injury for emphasis and he gives you a quick nod. 

“Over there,” he pointed toward his dresser, “top shelf, under the blue sweater.”

You rushed over there, opening the drawer and spotting the sweater he mentioned. “I’m totally stealing that from you someday, this is your heads up,” you told him as you grabbed the large box and completely closed the door before you moved back to his side. 

“You can have anything of mine, Angel. I’m sure you’d look better in it anyway.” His words made you blush, but you tried to ignore them so you could focus on the task at hand. 

Peter, however, found that he really liked watching your cheeks pink up. And he wanted more. 

“Lean against the headboard, now.” You said, trying to be serious again. 

“God, at least buy me dinner first sweetheart.” He gave you the dorkiest smirk you’d ever seen. You just glared at him. “On the other hand,” he said as he moved backward to lean against his headboard, “I don’t need dinner, I’m all yours baby girl.”

This got you to laugh, “Peter, be serious! You’re bleeding out!” You moved to his side, “take this off by the way.” You gestured to his suit. 

He hit the middle emblem of a spider and you watched as it loosened up and fell off his shoulders. You had started pulling it the rest of the way down, gulping when you realized he wasn’t wearing anything else, when he mumbled, “Not a terrible way to go.”

You refused to look up and meet his eyes but he knew he got you. Thank god he was wearing underwear, you realized, and you threw the suit to the side after you’d completely shredded him of it. He was definitely going to need a new one. 

Now completely facing the damage, your stomach churned, and you were hit with the hard truth. “I…I don’t know what to do,” you whispered to him. You wanted to help him, more than anything. This man who’s been risking his life, probably since he was a teenager you realized, as you did the math silently in your head, was hurt and right in front of you, needing your help. And you needed to help him, but you didn’t know the first thing about how to approach a situation like this. You were surprised you could stare at the wound for so long. 

“Don’t worry, I can do it,” he said gently, his bloody hand reaching for the huge first aid kit. 

“No!” You rushed out, grabbing his hand to stop him, “No way am I letting you do that! Just…just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.

Feeling more confident, you grabbed the kit and opened it. Shock coursed you as you realized just how much he went through and your confidence fell right back down where it sprouted from. The bag was full of all the medical tools and supplies you could think of, most of them completely foreign to you, and you realized how privileged you must be to not recognize any of these things. You can’t imagine the ‘worse’ he talked about having earlier. This must be those accidents he was talking about.

“I don’t usually have to use them,” his voice was soft, almost like he was reassuring you, “usually just water and a towel does the trick. Maybe a little numbing cream. And these,” he looked down at his wounds, “some bandages, sure, but I won’t need stitches or anything.”

You let out a breath of relief, you weren’t sure you could’ve handled that. You didn’t trust yourself.

“Okay,” you said, grabbing some wipes. You were going to do this. Based on what he’d told you, he was always stitching himself back up, just to hit the streets again the next day. This time, though, was different. This time you were here to help him, and you weren’t going chicken out of this. Even a little help was better than nothing at all. 

You started slowly, cleaning around his wounds so you could bandage them properly. “You sure you’re okay with this?” He asked you gently. “I totally understand if you need me to do it, angel, it’s a lot if you’re not used to it.”

“No,” you shook your head, your voice steady, “No way. It’s my turn to fix you up.” You told him, looking up to meet his eyes and smiling at him. 

He returned it and you went back to work. 

“So….Spider-Man, huh?” You peeked up quickly in question. 

“Yeah,” he took a deep breath, “it’s a long story. Basically, I was bit by some spider, that shit was powerful,” you laughed a little, making him smile. “And I got some. Of its powers I mean.”

“So you get bit by a spider, that spider gives you powers, and you decide to become a New York vigilante?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he nodded, and you laughed again. 

“You’re a hell of a guy Peter Parker.” You said, shaking your head slightly. 

“Thank you, I try,” he smirked at you and you laughed again. 

“Okay,” you said, pulling away from his side. He almost whined in protest. Honestly, he wasn’t feeling any pain, not since you’d started worrying about him, and insisting you help him. Peter wasn’t used to that, he was always alone when it came to this part of the job. He’d never minded that before, just one of the things he had to deal with as a superhero, but now that someone else was taking care of him…it felt nice. Really nice. Especially when it was you. 

“Peter?” You looked at him questioningly. Shit. You’d asked him something.  

“Huh? I'm sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He said with wide eyes. He’d gotten too wrapped up in the feeling of being taken care of, not that anyone could blame him though, the girl he’d been crushing on forever was here, in his room, helping bandage him up! It's more than he could’ve dreamed of. 

“It’s okay sweetie,” you said, waving him off assuming he was in pain or something. Really, now he had something new to obsess over. Sweetie? While he was practically naked (albeit injured, but he wasn’t thinking of that right now) in bed with you? God, he could just melt.

“I was just wondering which bandages,” you said, holding up the different ones you’d found in his bag. 

“Oh,” he said lamely, “these ones.” He grabbed a few from you and opened them. 

“Look,” he said, leaning over himself to see his wounds properly, “you’ve got to bring together both sides of the wound, then secure the bandage so that it’s holding it closed.” He talked as he placed the first bandage with you watching and listening with intent. 

“Okay, I think I’ve got it,” you said as you took the rest of the bandages from him. You steadied yourself, straddling his thigh as you started placing the bandages down his wound. The biggest gash took about five, your elbow resting on his abdomen as you got lower…and lower. 

Conveniently, you missed the quiver in his breath, too focused on the work at hand, but you didn’t miss the small gasp he let out when your forearm reached right between his thighs. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You said as you pulled away quickly, thinking you’d hurt him. “Did I pinch too hard?”

“No, no angel, you’re fine. Doing a great job actually.” He replied, trying to collect himself. He could not let himself think of that right now. There were more important things at hand. 

“You sure?” You asked him, not looking convinced.

“Positive.” He replied, grabbing your arm and pulling you back in (but making sure to keep you at a healthy distance from his dick). 

You added a few more bandages, most of the cuts only needing one or two, before pulling away again to rummage through his bag. “What do you use on your bruises?”

“This one,” he said, leaning over you and grabbing a tube from the kit. You turned, your lips almost brushing over each other with how close you were. 

“Hi,” you whispered, all thoughts completely flying out of your head as you realized just how badly you wanted to kiss him. 

“Hi angel,” he said smiling softly at you. 

Seeing you debate it in your head, Peter decided it would be easier for the both of you if he did it first. Leaning in, he closed the distance and smoothly took your lips in his. You melted into the kiss right away, feeling like you’d been craving this your whole life when really, you’d just kissed his a few hours ago before you’d left work. 

Your hands were on his bare chest, you could feel every muscle, every move when-

“Wait, you’re hurt!” You pulled away, leaving a pouting Peter in your wake. 

“My lips work just fine angel,” he said, trying to steal another kiss while you tried to avoid him. 

“But..let me finish at least,” you mumbled against his lips, barely getting a chance to pull away after he’d caught you. 

“You can finish, just lemme do this first,” he responded before kissing you again.

“Hey,” you mumbled against his lips. 

He hummed in response, moving to kiss your cheek, your jawline. If he kept this up you might not try to stop him. 

“Did you know Freddy took the bar exam? And passed?”

That got him to pull away. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking at you confusedly, “I’m kissing you and you decide this a good time to bring up Freddy?”

“Well, y’know,” you shrugged, “figured it was as good a time as any.”

He scoffed, “Unbelievable.”

You giggled, “I win.” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, pulling away before he could catch you and turn it into more.

“Now lay down, lemme do this,” you said waving the cream at him. 

He moved grumpily and you thought grumpy Peter was the cutest thing ever. The furrow of his brows, the slight pout of his lips. You could just kiss him. And you would’ve if you hadn’t known where it would lead you. 

You unscrewed the cap to the cream and started applying it gently. “So Fred’s a lawyer huh?” Peter spoke up. 

“He is!” You whispered excitedly, glad he was just as shocked as you were. 

“And you learned this how?” He asked, giving you a look. 

You shrugged. “He let me in and I talked to him, asked him a few questions to get to know him better since I see him everywhere.” 

“Wait, he’s here right now?”

“Yeah,” you said slowly, “I thought you knew?”

“No I didn’t-,” he let out a sigh, “whatever it's basically his apartment too at this point I guess.”

You laughed, “And you’re okay with that?”

He shrugged with his good side. “He buys the good beer.”

You laughed again. “He scored a 350 on the bar exam!”

Peter’s brows shot up. “Oh shit.”

“I know! The only thing I knew about him was that he blacked out in that frat house’s pool all night and the cops were called cause someone thought he was dead.”

“Yeah, he’s super lucky he was on his back. Just floated around the pool like a leaf.”

You shook your head, screwing the cap back on the tube of cream, “Crazy. But anyway, I’m done. And on the plus side,” you grinned at him, “if you ever get in legal trouble, you know someone!”

He laughed out loud, and you watched as his face scrunched up and he clutched his side in pain. Apologizing for the joke, you gave him a kiss on the cheek to make up for it. 

“Enough about crazy Freddy,” he let out a sigh, “I’m gonna go put some clothes on, and then I wanna cuddle with my girl.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words and all you could do was smile as he stood up, giving you a kiss on the side of your head before he moved to pick out some clothes.

You watched him get dressed, biting your lip as you watched how his muscles rippled with each of his movements. You always knew he was strong but seeing him like that, was a completely different story. 

“Like what you see?” He asked, smirking at you before he lifted his shirt, holding it up between his teeth as he tied his sweatpants. 

Your mouth fell open. At being caught and also at…how absolutely hot he looked right now. If he wasn’t injured, you would be all. over. him. 

“S’alright angel,” he said as he stalked towards you. He was enjoying this, a lot. “I’m sure I’d be the same if the roles were reversed.”

That did not help. Now you were thinking about being naked in front of Peter and-

He laughed, kissed the side of your head again, and laid down, pulling next to him. 

“Careful Peter, you’re still hurt!” You chastised him. 

He shook his head, “You made me feel a hundred times better. Thank you, angel.”

“Of course Petey.” He smiled at you as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight. 

“So, you came to see me right? Y’know, before the whole finding out I’m Spider-Man thing. What’s up?”

“Oh I almost forgot,” you perked up, tilting your head up so you could see his face, “I think I totally aced that chemistry exam!”

“Angel! I’m so proud of you!” He started attacking you with kisses, kissing you anywhere his lips could reach. 

You giggled, “Thank you sweetie, but seriously I owe you most of the credit, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Nonsense,” he shook his head, “that was all you. I barely helped, you learned everything and then took that quiz, and aced it.”

“Well I haven’t gotten my grade back yet, I just have a really good feeling, so don’t sound too are there's a chance I didn’t do as well as I thought.”

“Nope,” he said, popping the p. “I have a sense, a spidey sense. And my spidey sense is telling me that you totally aced that thing. No questions asked.”

You laughed loudly. “Spidey sense?”

“No questions,” he repeated as he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“Fine then,” you snuggled up further into him. “No questions.”

[blockedbykei]

can we get tsukishima and kuroo x figure skater gf headcanons pls?

ive always wanted to try figure skating but i am very clumsy 🙏

—

tsukishima kei

- figure skating requires great balance, especially when you spin into the air and land on one foot. luckily tsukishima knows all about landing

- obv bc he's a middle blocker so he knows how to land his foot properly to avoid falling down, so expect his presence during your practice

- sometimes he joins you inside the rink when you practice all by yourself. he's actually kind of clumsy there— he's all flimsy and gripping onto the sides 😭

- it takes him a while to get used to the ice, and he learned when you always grabbed both his hands and guided him into the middle, and then left him there

- you left him stranded in the middle of the ice rink and he was SO pissed at you he kept swearing as he fell down on his ass, almost crawling his way towards you

- though when it comes to serious practices, best believe he's even more nervous at your performance than he is at his own game.

- he's seen a lot of figure skating accidents that mostly include the blade of someone's skates stabbing their foot or slicing their face. he wasn't squeamish, but he'll probably faint if that happened to you

- tsukishima is always present at your competitions, silently watching— his only form of loud cheering was his claps and yelling at the beginning and at the end of your performance

- figure skating includes dancing too so sometimes he lets you dance with him off the rink to make your body even more languid

- when you're partnered up with a guy, he doesn't get jealous. unless that guy gets handsier than he should be, so it would always end up with your partner shying away when they catch sight of tsukki

- video tapes your practices and shows you what you need to improve like HES the coach

- but really he's just really observant and can catch on well on the dos and donts of figure skating (and he also studied it himself)

- figure skating is also what brought you two together

- he was walking by a public rink one day, though he realized it was probably rented out when he saw only your presence inside, practicing your movements. so since it was an open area, he watched you

- you caught him watching and he blushed, and he felt himself get burned alive when you skate towards him and introduced yourself

- anyway he's very supportive and prioritizes your figure skating too so you would never fight about majority of your hours being spent on the ice rink

kuroo tetsurou

- loudest cheerleader ever

- rink side (like courtside) bf

- knows jackshit about figure skating so when you tell him about this and that he's just nodding and taking mental notes

- knows how to ice skate so sometimes he joins you inside the rink and would practice with you

- and by practice i mean he's actually dancing with you

- since he's the captain of nekoma, he knows well how to prepare beforehand by studying your opponents. so he does exactly that with you

- trashtalks the living shit about your opponents

- he actually worries about how much time you spend on the rink because sometimes you come home with a fever or a runny nose from spending too much time in a cold area

- jealous bitch, HATES every partner of yours when it comes to pairings

- he panics so much too because, as aforementioned, figure skating accidents can be gruesome and he does not want you to lose a toe nor cut your face

- one time he brought his team to your practice and forced them to watch you, and you ended up inviting everyone inside the rink

- kuroo also brings them to your competitions so you could have extra cheerleaders

- says he doesn't threaten them with 100 laps but that's obviously a lie

- he met you through one of the figure skating magazines, and he's had a crush on your for a while before you'd gotten together

- he managed to watch you in the figure skating nationals in japan and brought kenma with him, and he was lucky enough to get your attention right before you performed

- anyway he thinks you look sexy in the clothes you wear for practice

- one time you almost got injured and he ran barefoot into the rink just so he could carry you and get you out of there to be examined

- you slipped and barely sprained your foot, he was always so dramatic

[ashs-nerd-den]

Gearrscannán ar YouTube

Short films on YouTube

(Don't worry, everything has English subtitles in the videos themselves)

Fán https://youtu.be/e3xnvkMp_1Q?si=i-4pmljDbzA8bRtu

Created by the incredible @nibmoss, an absolute queen (Bánríon). It is a short sapphic story about 2 best friends who end up together and it is my favourite short story ever!!! It is also my favourite piece of Irish media in existence!!! I love it!!! It is incredible!!! BEYOND AMAZING!!!

Yu Ming is ainm dom https://youtu.be/JqYtG9BNhfM?si=jnZjP4LozqOhNxkI

This is a classic. Ive had 4 different teachers show me this over the years, and my first year Irish class studied it exam style. It was the first piece that we studied and everyone LOVED it, people were quoting it all the time. Every second conversation had someone using a line from it. It's a crows pleaser and simple to listen to even without the subtitles provided. It also has a great storyline about a man who is fed up with his life in China and learns Irish to move over here, and well (bhuel) , I won't spoil the plot twist for you

Lipservice https://youtu.be/4QP0eEhhTSo?si=1DLvo_ECRhwGI5s8

It's the day of the oral exams and everyone is terrified (bhí imní an domhain ar gach duine), people are rehearsing in the bathrooms and speaking French instead of English, the stuff that half of them come out with is absolutely gas, this one is such a bit of craic, I was in stitches. And the bit at the end is so sweet. Is breá liom an gearrscannán seo agus beidh mé mo scrúdú béil i dhá bhliain 🙈🙈🙈 (I loved this short film and I've my speaking test in 2 years🙈🙈🙈

Filleann ar feall https://youtu.be/Tay7eMxas2k?si=q3ksVJVYJ7E_xxoa

IT'S CILLIAN MURPHY AG CAINT AS GAEILGE!!! You can't beat a bit of Cillian, he's a national treasure. And this is 2000 Cillian, he's so young (this was before I was born) he's in the Gaeltacht for his holidays with a grumpy friend, on a job to sell some Putchín, and he is everyone's favourite sweetgeart, a bit of a himbo, and a respecter of old ladies. Agus deir duine sa sna tuairimí (a person in the comments said that it's like Breaking bad, but with an Irish teacher that instead of a chemistry one (I've never seen Breaking Bad, so I don't know how true that is, but I do know that this was AR FHEABHAS!!!

Rúbaí https://youtu.be/jjYx5v2BUWo?si=tFu1ektBvHNkoQFB

This is a short story about a little girl (cailín beag) who's class is about to make their 1st Holy Communion, but she doesn't believe in God (ní creideann sí i nDia). She's everyone is trying to convince her that god is real and she's just like "nope, read a bit of Darwin, he's great, I'm off to collect worms", even to the priests face and towards the end there's a bitter sweet twist which gives a LOT of background. This was a nice, easy watch, the little girls was so cute, there were a couple of laughs (cúpla gáire) and the vocab was nice and simple

Gaiste https://youtu.be/Xr-V7vg_Y2Q?si=cMMNqPLkmtugbg8t

Very simple vocab, good message, kind of like a fable, big "One of us is Lying" vibes. Nice short film overall

Fíorghael https://youtu.be/t3Kv4fZ2SOE?si=bHibiFJyRUcvZ-TZ

This ones a bit older, but it's still a good bit of craic. You need to wait a couple of minutes to get into it, but the end is brilliant (Caithfidh tú cúpla nóiméad a fanacht chun dul isteach ar, ach tá an chríoch go hiontach)

Sylvia https://youtu.be/fi_4aweOP4w?si=ZCfUAfYaD73IVn8r

There are plot twists, and then there plot backflips, this was the later. This is so weird, but I really enjoyed it at the same time

Ciúnas https://youtu.be/cGfuQ-HeTmk?si=WRPGmo-UNQ0bw9mA

There's not much dialogue, but all of it is very casual, so you still get to pick up a few words that you wouldn't find in a textbook. The storyline is quite sweet, but please be careful watching because it although it centres around her family's love for her, it is set on the way home from the hospital after she tried to end her own life

[verdantlights]

Modern AU Headcanons

For all 7 of my ocs!! :3

all of their ethnicities/nationalities are canon to the ALNST universe too, but theyre just more applicable in a modern au.

The artwork I did for each of them isnt fully colored like how i originally planned, simply because this took FUCKING FOREVER. (17 hours??? all 7 ocs just to this basic color with 17 hours and 25k strokes??? according to procreate???) and i was so ready to be done with it, ive been talking about this for like ages and i knew that if i didnt finish this before Blink Gone dropped,,,, itd never get finished.

i also have other stuff i need/want to work on in regards to my ocs SO. if the art looks half-assed, im calling it a design choice 🎀

Toki (Redone):

He'd be a dancer that runs a choreography channel on youtube and tiktok. A really popular/famous content creator.

He's Asian! (South Korean)

Fluent in English/Korean.

Would probably face a lot of controversy for making strange jokes about cannibalism, but he never stays down when cancelled. (hes so schlatt core)

He's not a horrible person in a modern au. He's relatively normal, if not for the fact that he is still an orphan and still clinically mentally ill. He's just not toxic. He still has his cunt and freak but... he just doesn't manipulate, mansplain, and manslaughter anymore.

He's only toxic and awful as hell in ALNST because of the dystopian circumstances. His toxicity is seasoning to the tragedy that is ALNST.

He is still an orphan and his first memories would be in the orphanage where he was pretty much alone. People thought he was strange.

I'd like to believe he was selectively mute for quite a long time, which was another reason why people called him strange.

Still has the habit of studying peoples behaviors and learning them entirely for his own benefit. He wouldn't use it against someone unless absolutely necessary in a modern au.

He gets adopted when he's 13 by a kind, older man. He homeschools Toki and puts him in sports and recreational activities of his choice.

Toki chooses gymnastics and dance, contorting and moving his body at his will gives him a sense of control that he always felt he was never privileged to.

He didn't start talking until he was 16. His first words were, "Thank you, dad."

As an adult, as I said above, Toki runs a choreo channel on tiktok and youtube that gets a lot of traction. He enjoys having fans because it makes him feel less alone.

He's still possessive over Inna, but it's only because Toki struggles with feeling a sense of belonging and a home to come back to, and Inna becomes that home for him.

He has a streetwear aesthetic!

Of course, Toki still has his obsessive and possessive personality, that will never go away. It ends up rearing his head towards Inna, but I'm pretty sure Inna likes it anyway, the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴.

Didn't go to college because his socmed took off before he graduated, sustaining him really well financially.

Friends with Ichor! Travels to Korea with him sometimes, but usually prefers to stay in America since that's where he was taken to when he was adopted.

Innamorati belongs to @alien-til-i-stage <3

Clove:

He is Latino! (Dominican/Caribbean)

His right eye is a lazy eye and he wears glasses. They're silver round frames that he sometimes puts a neck chain on.

His hair is dyed the same, but the dark brown is really short and cut to be fluffy/messy while keeping his long sides/short bangs!

He has a dark academia aesthetic mixed with a little bit of cottagecore. He's a lot more comfortable in his skin in regards to his gender so he wears skirts and dresses sometimes.

Spends his time at the library a lot, enjoys library dates with Aster (and also coffee shop dates).

He is fluent in Spanish and English.

He only has his ear lobes pierced and keeps small silver studs in them at all times.

Still trans, of course! He gets top surgery and a hysterectomy in a modern au (projecting what I personally want lmao)

All of his siblings are alive, and are still all named after flowers!

His upbringing was really peaceful, if not for having a very alive and loud household with 6 kids, him included.

His parents and siblings are all incredibly accepting and they all helped pitch in to get his top surgery done for his birthday one year <3

He inherited his parents flower shop and runs it now! His parents own the parent company to the flower shop, so all 6 children own one of said shops around the state!

He majored in Biology in college.

A lot of the neglect and trauma he faced in ALNST/ANAKT was only specific to the universe. He would lead a relatively normal and peaceful life, otherwise :)

Aster belongs to @apriciticreveries <3

Horizon:

He is American!

Horizon is incredibly smart and is an astrophysicist! He took it in college and has been hyperfixated on space since he was a kid.

Is the most visibly/recognizably autistic OC out of all of my OCs. All of my OCs are neurodivergent in some way because of my own neurodivergency, but Horizon takes the cake because his modern au mother (based on Scorpius) is also autistic. She raised him to not be forced into a mask.

Scorpius is a single mom and loves space as well, teaching Horizon all about it when he was a kid. Over time she grew more distant and would only connect with her son when its about his interest in space, or in regards to what happens at NASA.

Horizon is aware of his mothers distance and neglect and wishes things could go back to when he was a kid and she wasn't so distant.

He is still a narcolept, but is medicated and in physical therapy to help combat it.

He works at NASA! He makes good money and has discovered a lot of new stars!

He's more vocal in a modern au! He'd still go nonverbal a lot, but he'd also open up more and be less distant.

He still yaps about stars and space as much as possible.

He does not have stars in his eyes. I kinda feel like that goes without saying, but he does have dark grey-blue eyes.

Fond of Seraph and likes to study it. Fully aware something is wrong with it and that it definitely does not belong in his world, but finds it intriguing all the same.

Does not have a set dress style, he mostly dresses for comfort. He does have a lot of NASA merchandise and space/galaxy themed clothing, though. (would 100% have that blue and pink galaxy wolf hoodie at one point)

Seraph:

Still not human, and I will not elaborate as to why!

Also still uses He/Hy/It (Hy/Hymn).

It's a lot creepier in a modern au, actually. This is because the dystopian setting of ALNST makes it a bit more... usual and acceptable for Seraph to be uncanny? However, in a modern au... that's not the case.

People do NOT vibe with it more often than not.

Hy is British.

He is still albino with void-like eyes.

It majors in psychology and went to the same college as Horizon. This is related to his special talent,,, but that isn't released yet. :)

Still horribly enamored with Horizon and follows him around and studies him.

Horizon doesn't mind hymn and honestly knows somethings not right with Seraph, but he doesn't really care and actually likes to study Seraph back. (and seraph couldnt be happier about it, tbh)

Not a lot changes about Seraph, in all honesty. Hy doesn't really belong in the ALNST universe, what makes you think hy'd belong in the modern universe?

The things that do change, like it's echoing voice and it's staticky/distorted laugh, are gone because it personally stopped using them.

It's style is... elegant goth with some... cyber goth? Kinda strange and hard to describe but he does understand the morals and values of goth culture and music and upholds those values.

Lowkey an anarchist but you didn't hear that from me.

He is Horizon's roommate.

Seraph likes to believe their mutual studying of each other is what a romantic relationship entails.

Horizon spoils Seraph a lot... he has to do something with the money he gets from NASA.

He still does not like animals or Ichor.

Ichor:

He is still a catboy. He's not even like... a kemonomimi. He's just a fucking catboy.

If not an actual catboy, he would be a therian and/or kemonomimi. (kemonomimi directly translates to animal ears i believe? kemonomimis are just people who enjoy wearing animal ears/tails.)

He is also Asian! (South Korean)

Has a lot of mixed aesthetics, but enjoys crossdressing (in a cute way) and ouji fashion/lolita.

Autistic with selective mutism and is nonverbal more often than not. He is fluent in both ASL and KSL as well as spoken English/Korean. This is canon to the ALNST universe, but he is fully mute in canon.

Would probably be a professional gymnast. I'm talking like Olympics... professional.

Takes the fame from being a professional gymnast and becomes a content creator to show off his impeccable fashion sense.

100% dating and smitten with Briar. I'm assuming Briar would be a doctor in a modern au (akane, you can correct me if I'm wrong), and if that's the case, then Ichor would make a bunch of "woe is me, I need a doctor" jokes to Briar.

He'd immediately go to Briar if he gets hurt during performances.

Would actually be friends with Toki!! Both as a content creator and as a gymnast. They would get along very well due to overlapping interests, even more so when Ichor learns that Toki was mute for a long time.

Sometimes takes up gigs/jobs as a Sign Translator for both KSL and ASL.

Recognized as a Fashion Idol in Korea.

Frequently travels back and forth between South Korea and America due to this. ^ (his boyfriend misses him...)

Also did not go to college! He went straight into professional gymnastics and makes a living off of it! If he could go back to school, though, he would want to study the arts!

All of his hair is naturally white! He was based off of a white Turkish Angora cat, and since his hair was dyed against his will in ALNST, that wouldn't be the case in the MAU. He's only pink in his art because that's his color <3

Briar belongs to @aakaneeee <3

Lys:

She is Creole and born and raised in Louisiana!

Fluent in both Cajun French and normal French. She was a French immersion kid! (as in she learned french as she learned english in school growing up)

An amazing cook and loves to cook for her family and friends.

Has a brother and a sister, but she is the oldest. She loves her family and is very protective over them, same with her friends.

A big party-goer and social butterfly, she is the life and light of the party. She stays humble about it, but she can't deny how nice it makes her feel that people like her so much.

Dominates karaoke like it's no ones business. She loves singing and was in the church choir growing up.

She grew up Catholic, but is currently Agnostic.

Still a lesbian, and is very open about it. She is a strong advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and goes to as many Pride Parades as possible during pride month.

LOVES HER GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!! EVEREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her favorite way to wear her hair is super long box braids with bright colored weave, usually orange or red, but she's done the whole rainbow before!

Majors in cosmetology!

Wants to be a fashion designer, and is also building a socmed presence!! Her childhood dream was to work at Hollywood as a SFX/Makeup artist! (She still kinda does, but is okay with working for any movie company, honestly)

Has a streetwear and Y2K aesthetic! She likes to explore a bunch of other fashion cultures, but normally ends up falling back to those two as a base/familiar ground.

Is really good friends with Clove! She knows him through Everest, who had befriended him in overlapping college courses. Clove approached Everest and became friends with him before she introduced Clove to Lys. They all like to hang out together :]

Everest:

She is Australiannnnn!!!!

Still albino!

She does have the sensitive skin and eyesight in the modern world, though. She is not genetically modified, therefore she has really powerful glasses and is covered a lot.

Wears a lot of loose flowy clothing and big sunhats to protect himself from the sun.

Also still intersex!

Still feels 60% femme and 40% masc with very little in between. Doesn't mind being referred to as androgyne, but prefers either or, rather than in between.

She is sapphic and horribly in love with her girlfriend, Lys.

Is a lot less morally grey in a modern au and is a lot more like Luna Lovegood, one of her inspirations.

His morality in ALNST comes from the dystopian setting, being used as a toy for the segyein after winning, and being a pet in general. Since that doesn't happen in the modern day, he doesn't have that trauma to influence him.

She takes second place on most visibly autistic. (Ichor takes third)

Majored in Chemistry and wants to be a chemist.

Has overlapping classes with Clove and is friends with him!

Comes from a pretty wealthy family and was raised prim and proper. Her parents believed she'd be better off presenting as a boy, but once she realized her autonomy, she refused it entirely and told her parents that she will live how she wants and that her body is hers to dictate.

Her parents don't like that she switches back and forth between masc and femme, but she could not give less of a fuck and honestly does it a little bit out of spite.

He still loves his parents... kinda. He has the mentality of "they gave me life and raised me, I should be grateful andlove them all the same." He just wishes they weren't so bitchy over his body and what he does with it. They can't say anything either considering he plans on being a chemist, and they're both very fond of the idea that their child is smart and will bring in more money.

They're also lowkey homophobic and only give Lys a pass because they see Everest as a boy more often than not. They still don't quite like Lys because she is a full lesbian/sapphic and sees Ever as femme.

Enjoys travelling a lot!!

Has a socmed presence through Lys and appears as a duo with her a lot. People love them together and give them a lot of the stereo contrasting ship types (fire/ice, blue/red, black/white, etc)

It not famous on her own! I don't think she would actively seek out a socmed presence of her own and would be content with being featured on Lys' socmed. He was only famous in ALNST for winning s36, he did not ask for that.

thats about it!! sorry its so long, but... i love my children... so...

anyways, taglist!! no pressure to respond <3 @rockwgooglyeyes @bluemoonscape @tsukacchako @starry-skiez @junebluues @yunoftheclouds @waterydream @pwippy @ivanttakethis @nottoonedin

[lulbyy]

Hey it’s been like 2 months since u last posted, everything okay? /nf /lh

hey!!!! i appreciate the check in so much thank you i promise i have a realygood excuse basically i moved out hours away from home to start university on the last day of august (hence the start of the Absence all of the dots are connecting)and i won’t get specific but im majoring in the sciences so never in my life have i had this many different class tasks to remember while also remembering that i need to buy food and schedule appointments and get to them with buses ive only just learned how to use

im not gone by any means im not even that busy most of the time my time management is just awful my biology midterm is tomorow and i started studying at 10 pm today so hopefully i know more about anatomy than i think i do But generally i get nervous a 🤏little bit whenever im doing things i like because im aware there’s so many things i should be doing so i draw less but as i get more used to it hopefully ill be able to rock back up ALSOliteral new dsmp content in 2024 and ctubbo mention what if I went Insane im also getting into ace attorney and im still into genloss and sally face etc all of that good stuff im really excited to like spending time again long story short im going crazy but its ok because i own an actual lab coat

[ceasarslegion]

so ive come to learn that some family members that i thought were smarter than that, ended up voting very stupidly, and then further learned that they are being brainwashed by right wing podcasts

ik you have studied cults, so im coming to you to ask if you knew any resources off the top of your head about deprogramming them and knocking some sense into their head without putting them on the defense and accidentally pushing them farther right?

The first thing I should lay out for you is that deprogramming someone from a cult or cult-like environment is long, arduous, unforgiving, and will take more out of you than you could ever give. It is not your responsibility nor does your value as a loved one hinge on deprogramming your relatives. That is something that not even trained professionals can achieve half the time. I attempted to deprogram someone years ago, and the relationship ended in her siding with her cult and claiming I had slandered god by asking her to consider other worldviews outside of her own. And that was with all the knowledge and education I had on the topic.

With that out of the way, if you really want to pursue this, I can't stop you. And I'm not encouraging anything either way because that's your personal decision to make. But I can tell you what I do know and how to approach these things so you don't fly blind if you decide to take it on:

-NEVER say words like "cult" or "extremist" to them. Nobody joins a cult, they join a group of like-minded individuals who make them feel like they have community and support in an area where they lacked those things before. There is a very real need they have that this group has filled for them, and using words like that around them is a surefire way to make them shut themselves off from you. From their perspective, they introduced you to their fiance, and you called them a hag. No matter how untrue that may be, that's how they experience it. Avoid any sort of cultish language when engaging with them directly.

-you need to find that need they were lacking that this group filled for them. I can't tell you what that is, because it's unique to every cult victim. But try looking into the common themes among victims who have left and been deprogrammed from the right wing manosphere to see if they apply to your relatives at all. And when you find what that need is, you need to provide them alternatives, but you can not force them to take them. Survivors of the group you are deprogramming someone from are a fantastic resource to draw from for whatever your case is: if something broke the facade for them, that same thing may break it for your relatives too. There's a great podcast out there called Was I in A Cult where two cult survivors interview other survivors and tell their stories through lighthearted gallows humor, and they recently ran an episode about a woman who escaped QAnon that might be a good resource for you on that.

-You need to meet them where they are. This is going to hurt a lot, you will take a lot of ego hits, and you will often have to act like you believe in things that go completely against your most basic morals. But they will not listen to you if you approach as the "them" in the "us vs them" mentality that is a cornerstone of every cult. Does the part of the manosphere they're in align with a religious cult that thinks they can save the "them"s, like Jehovah's Witnesses? If it does, you have an in by acting like a "them" who needs saving. Don't forget that victims still have all their empathy and humanity, its just been corrupted for the gain of the group.

-don't forget who they are inside. This is... very hard. It's very hard to remember that they aren't really like this, that their humanity has been hijacked by a charismatic leader or group.

-its going to take a long time. Like, a LONG time. Sometimes it takes years, you need to chip a little at a time. And it won't feel like you're doing anything until the break happens, if it does. It works a bit like stonecutting: you deal 1000 back-breaking blows to a giant boulder and the 1001st time breaks it clean in half. And even then, sometimes they just break on their own, for reasons utterly external to all the hard work you put in to achieve it.

-if the break happens, your work is not done. Cults completely rewire how their victims perceive the world around them and how they exist within it. That is not going to go away overnight. It will be painful and agonizing for everyone involved, but most of all for them. It's a bit like walking the world with alzheimers while everyone tells you you don't have it and never had it to begin with for a cult survivor. They are going to carry a lot of baggage with them after the break. A lot of survivors develop mental health disorders, eating disorders, and their suicide and self-harm rates go up after they leave the groups they used to be in. They need a very strong, unflinching, and radically non-judgmental support system that will be there to teach them how to walk again and won't abandon them when they do slip back into their old, safe mentality.

-its okay to grieve someone even when they aren't dead. Proximity grief among friends and family of cult victims is exceedingly common and only gets worse the deeper their loved ones fall down the pipelines they tripped into. There's lots of groups you can find, like QAnon Casualties, that exist as spaces to grieve the loved ones lost to cults.

Some books and resources i know that are good for starting this journey include the Freedom From Religion Foundation, the earlier work of the QAnon Anonymous Podcast group, the documentary Going Clear, the Fair Game podcast, the books Cultish, Trust the Plan, The Storm is Upon Us, Conspiratuality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became A Health Threat, Doppleganger: A Trip Into the Mirrorverse, Netflix's How to Become A Cult Leader is a pretty good bite-sized series that gets the gist of it right, the documentary Beyond the Curve, Owen Morgan's work on his experience as a JW, and honestly? Your relatives' cult's own literature and media. You will get a very good idea of what their belief system is built on if you see it for yourself. That means no reaction videos, no reviews, no articles ABOUT it, you have to just sit down and honest to god see it for yourself from the perspective of a vulnerable individual who needs to hear whatever they're saying to them.

I included a lot of QAnon resources on this because that's the group I am most familiar with that has a significant overlap with what it sounds like your relatives have fallen into. This is also by no means an exhaustive list, this is what I thought of off the top of my head while writing out this answer on the train after work.

[caffstrink]

do you have any tips on how to live off as artist professionally?

First of all art isn't always a viable option depending where you live. The only reason ive been able to live off art is because the american dollar is worth 5x more than the brazilian real so even if i didn't get many comms i could still get by with the few i had. and if that wasn't the case I'd pretty much be eating breadcrumbs off the floor like a pigeon.

1. Whore yourself out and draw fanart of every popular or trending thing to gather attention to youe art

2. Learn your platforms: learn how each websites algorithm works, learn what are the best hours to post, etc

3. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your niche

4. Everyone is fake no one wants to be your friend, other popular artists will start following you the moment your following becomes good enough. They'll start to interact with you too and want to become mutuals in order to share followings/traction. If you can play into that you can get them to share your stuff as well, but honestly don't fall for it bc most of them shittalk other artists on their privs or personal servers and the stress isnt worth it

5. Draw nsfw if possible/if you're comfortable with. People who commission porn pay well and they often have very few options when commissioning stuff bc most artists don't accept porn commissions.

6. Accept being an artist is a hard job that doesn't pay really well. If you're freelancing on comms life's always going to be a tightrope, so i suggest trying to do professional work once in a while so you can at least have the security of a salary. Draw backgrounds, gestures, scenes, studies, and the likes, bc those are what companies will want in your portfolio

7. Depending where you live it's extremely hard to live off as an artist, and being an artist is often means a very difficult struggle with finances. It's a job that requires passion, and more often than not turning art in a job causes creative burnout and complete loss of spark for it. Ask yourself: why do you want to be a professional artist? Isn't it better to keep it as a hobby? Maybe a side gig if you need money? You can still pursue art even if you don't do it to earn money, and it doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's a difficult job, and you need to understand its not going to be viable at all times and sometimes you'll have to throw in the towel and do something else to survive and there's 0 shame in that.

8. Be professional and courteous with your clients. Don't be a doormat, but don't go around ghosting people or being passive aggressive or taking them for granted and never deliver any product. Doing art for money is a JOB. Treat it like such. Inform your clients about delays, or any issues that may come up.

9. Take care of yourself and by that i mean eat decent food, exercise your arms, get 8 hours of sleep and get some sun (or take vitamin D periodically if youre a basement dweller). This isn't some self care uwu shit, it's actual science that your body is a machine and not providing what it needs to function leads to issues, and some of those issues include affecting your mental health, and mental health issues include and are not limited to: anxiety, depression, burnout, loneliness, feeling like your art sucks, feeling unmotivated, feeling like you're a failure, etc. Same with physical: for the love of GOD you DON'T want wrist issues. You dont want carpal or ulnar nerve entrapment. Don't draw 24/7. Don't push yourself either. If youre feeling shitty its time to STOP. Just picture a shitty graphics card trying to run minecraft with 5 shaders and 10 mods at once on fullscreen with 60 fps. Thats you. Youre the graphics card

10. Don't be a bitch, don't get involved with drama. Can't be an internet artist if you get cancelled so don't try to start shit at any point in time. Don't be a shit person.

And from the top of my head thats it, hope you like eating plain bread 🍞

[eyedrateanatomy]

Froot......Batnap...Sleepybats....Streber and Rick PLEASE

OF COURSE ILL TALK ABOUT THEMMMMM had to ponder them a bit. came to the conclusion that theyd be frankenstein and his monster but Gay

ive said this before somewhere but streber being annoying was definitely one of the reasons rick quit his job at the hardware store, if not The reason. he just cornered him and yapped for hours about a simple mistake with the packaging labels. rick doesnt like anything and streber loves everything... but with enough time theyd realize theres a harmony in it. rick doesnt know when he began letting streber go on and on about machinery and math, hes even paying attention and enjoying it. starts asking questions about it too. of course streber never notices this but rick can admit at this point that he feels a lot calmer around streber

streber on the other hand Worries for rick. he worries so so much because rick keeps saying hes tired and unsatisfied and bored, and he doesnt want him to keep abandoning people and ignoring his problems. he'll help him even!!! please let him help him. please. please. please. rick just needs to ask... but streber cant say hes not grateful for the fact that rick couldve easily been bored or tired or frustrated by him, but he loves him enough to put up with it. he will put aside his need for constant pleasure because the presence of streber is enough to make him want to stay. hes just a fun little guy. i think this alone would help rick realize hes handling a lot of things wrong. he can deal with strebers enthusiasm and strange habits, he even wants to learn how strebers inventions around the house work so he doesnt like. blow up trying to work a coffee maker

feeling love is just so new to rick, it doesnt even click right away that hes already changing for the better because of streber. and on strebers end, hes not very good at picking up when rick is happy or mad or anything. not like rick is good at showing it anyways. so streber doesnt need a lot of reassurance, but because he really loves rick hes putting in the effort to "study" him and ask him how hes feeling and if streber needs to calm down when he talks too much (he doesnt need to. rick likes the background noise, it helps him put up with Difficult Tasks)

streber likes ricks voice a lot... very deep and soothing. he makes him read science articles to him until he falls asleep every night. and theyre really stupid and piss people off Together. you are cornered by two men. one will sigh loudly until you turn around and realize youre in his way because he doesnt feel like using his words. the other will go Ermm Excuse Me and poke you on the shoulder and point out in front of god and everyone that he needs to get past you. they are dating. also i think streber has four pet rats and they crawl all over rick who has to put up with it

also this is them

[neonfretra]

some thoughts on capturing likeness of people

this is as much of a tutorial as stories in the front of recipes teach you how to cook

so what the hell is likeness?

im drawin guys thatre supposed to look like real human guys. if you ever tried drawin a character with no in the flesh portrayal as well as in the flesh humans, this is a totally different skill set from just drawin uh. the illusion of a person? or maybe i just had the first unique experience in ever (equally as likely)

a persons likeness is their je nais se quoi, what makes them look and feel like themselves. you see a drawin and know its your guy, no matter how representative or abstract it gets? that got their likeness down pat. you see a drawin and scramble to the tags to figure who it is? (funny enough an experience i get often with my own stuff) not only did it not capture their likeness, they caught a whole new horse and i want it OUT of my kitchen what???

tangent: realism

did you know (semi-)realism is WAY easier to draw than whatever the weird little freaks i draw are, there is so much back and forthing on if it looks enough like the guy as a doodle for me

(i dont actually know what semi-realism is, its kinda the holding bin of anything thats not realism or anime, the only two art styles that are recognized casually. this is a gross oversimplification.)

its a LOT easier to work with making a guy look like himself with 200 strokes all over 20 strokes all im sayin . you get way more space and details to work with to get the bigger picture. simple doodles do not give you the same mercy. people who work with simpler styles thatre drawin real faces, i bow at your feet cause HARD.

basically when you see my sorta realistic kinda nothing portraits, these are my hyperrealistic eye drawings in the margins of my papers. ive never had an eye drawing phase.

massively simplifying faces feels like taking every part i know about drawing a face and severely compressing it. i mean yeah literally they tiny but

the hell is a proportion

something i noticed is a really common advice on how to get good at drawin a guy is to "focus on proportions"

okay okay i admit. thats incredibly true and you cant really skip around it if you want to get good likeness. having a grip on where things go on a face is the steak and potatoes to capturing a guys likeness . gotta study the blade to draw it etc

but also i am incapable of learning anything related to art without just tripping into the concept myself LOL

which is why im goin to be real i pay a lot less attention to the proportion and anatomy than i really should and instead go off strongest impressions of they face as a whole (and then editing parts afterwards because it looks wack)

i have an incredibly unoptimized workflow

heres my secret to you! memories are a lot less accurate than we think and pushing and pulling traits to get more caricature street artist than life study class makes players look more like themselves ^_^

some examples off the top of my head: drawing william eklunds chin longer, over emphasizing joey daccords eyes + devin cooleys smile, tomas tatars eyebrows dont even look like that. its not about the individual traits, its about the face as a whole

no one checks your work! you can get away with a lot you just need to take the money and run

just add shading! ^_^

one of the easiest ways to make a guy look like himself for me is shading LOL

its funny because just add shading is NOTHING advice and i will stand by this. (learning shading is a good skill in art but you dont NEED it for EVERY PIECE. this is usually a SUBJECTIVE PREFERENCE!!! there tend to be underlying issues that make you feel COMPELED like a lack of contrast or

on the other hand, shading gives me way more control about implying how much parts of the face stick out . form! its a wondrous thing

this is something i struggle with INCREDIBLY in with drawing noses actually! without angles it gets way hard to how showcase a lot of the shapes to it. and in my case i cant imply all these without shadow.

and then i doodle them

not tryin to make the case that drawin them as amoebas is challenging. im just sayin have you ever tried havin your first shot on drawin someone be instantly recognizable in as few lines as possible.

(fun fact: i draw some features only at certain angles in my doodles because it doesnt translate well without! its mostly prominent nose bumps. try not to pay too much attention to the technical aspect of it. can you imagine my grubi or macklini head on . can you imagine willyek from the side???)

tangent: tutorials

i actually love making tutorials can i be so honest. i dont even learn or teach well i just love making a weird long winded thing about how i approach random parts of a drawing (ive done ones on shirt collars, jawlines, jacket lapels, basic color theory, and arm muscles for an idea on what kind of tom foolery im about)

honest to god i was considerin a more tutorial angle on this but the problem is that my approach on likeness is more a mix of more technical aspects of portrayin different kinds of facial features and puttin the vibes over realism.

its not even necessarily a hard craft, its just hard to explain without havin to pull up the whole root system of how it works and how to apply it! even tyin your shoes sounds like rocket surgery if your teachers bad enough

could tell you how to draw a guys nose but that doesnt tell you how to arrange the guys face with it. you know??? and i dont think anyones in a hurry to draw how i do LMAO

anyways if you ever want a collection of low res mspaint images explaining any aspect of what i get up to . just ask! ^_^

the big picture

honestly i think i get away with the shenanigans that i do because i put more care into the big picture than the details

NOT TO SAY DETAIL WORK ISNT CUTE. i love it a lot, include that close up of your lovingly rendered eyelashes or complicated shirt sleeve wrinkles mwah mwah

its more just that its nice to get the shape of a guys eyes or his freckles down pat but if his profile looks like a whole other person, its going to look like that whole other person before it looks like his eyes, you feel what i mean? (in that way proportion is actually a huge deal in likeness to me)

if i ever did a detail shot of an eye you would have NO idea who it was though HAHAHAHA its all dots!

i really do think the more broad strokes you get down the more you can hide the lazier or less accurate parts in the back. because HOH you dont want to pull a photo up when you look at my drawings

bwegh

there is no conclusion go out into the world and be cute or whatever

this is more my personal observations from drawin hockeys for like. 10 months? thats like the length of a pregnancy give or take. i know my units of time

[mushroom-kin]

This is a study of one of my favorite small scene in Psycho-pass: sinners of system 2.

"Unit One always comes before everything else." - Tsunemori Akane

Psycho pass s2 - an unhinged retrospective - i. Celebrating 10 years anniversary of PP2 - ii. Ode to Shimotsuki Mika - iii. Women's justice - iv. Why both Togane and Kamui combine to make the shadow of Kogami - v. Kogami and Akane's relationship - vi. Sybil as a character, who also wants character growth - vii. Wrapping up because I spent 2 days writing this non stop

(warning: horrifyingly long text post, Spoilers for all of Psycho pass up to the latest film Providence)

i. Celebrating 10 years anniversary of PP2:

Psycho-pass 2 just has its 10 years anniversary. Happy 10 years for Psycho pass 2.

I watched psycho-pass season 1 while it was airing, it came out when I was in middle school, and I remember catching it right at the All-girl academy arc. When I finished s1 and did not even know that s2 was coming out.

I have been in and out of the fandom for many years and got to hear people relentlessly shit on s2 and talk about how they don't like it. I never really understood it, or I mean I have heard their reasonings, but honestly it truly makes me so frustrated because I think a lot of what I heard can only be boiled down to "I hate women" or "Kogami is not here".

Even when I begrudging sub to r/psychopass, I will always been haunted by random post about how everyone hating on s2, or telling people to skip it.

When I was rewatching all of psycho pass this past months with my friend @h4msanta, and having them watching it for the first time. I was once again remembered why s2 was so important to me.

ii. Ode to Shimotsuki Mika:

I really like Mika, I understand people probably liked her way more in s3 or starting at sinners of the system 1 which I lovingly call the "Mika propaganda".

But I liked her the moment I saw her. I really appreciate her character against Tsunemori Akane. She is so important, to me.

Imagine you are Shimotsuki Mika, you are 16 year old teenage girl. You are very smart but kind of blunt and rude as a person. So while you are great student, you are not really well liked. You have a crush on this other girl who you go to school with, but she is closer to her childhood best friend. You always felt like a third wheel in this friendship. Some other girl who is so much more popular and prettier freaks you out, and now because she talked to one of your friend, that girl disappeared. And you as a teenager felt something very wrong about this, but still told the girl you had a crush on to ask about if she cares about it so much.

You later learn both of them are murdered and displayed in the worst way possible.

The MWPSB, who shows up on scene to arrest who might be the murderer, who you suspect is that art girl who is more popular than you, ultimately failed to arrest or judge her before she escaped. The police who showed up did not solve the case, you cried in the arms of a kind woman who also work with the MWPSB. You don't know this yet, but she is also a latent criminal, the type of people you hate the most. But that doesn't matter to you because you have developed a crush on her.

You are 17 now, and you are the youngest person that have ever join MWPSB. You feel like you need to prove something to everyone, you don't want them to look down on you because you are young. You meet your co worker, you senior, a young woman who is 4 years older than you. Seeing s woman behind her, you remember her from that fateful day in the rain who kindly comforted you. You are told that she is an enforcer, this translated in your brain as a latent criminal. You realized that this was the unit who failed to capture your friend's murderer.

You are 18, and you have been on this job for a year and half now. But somehow people still treat you like you are a baby, you don't understand why your senior who you think is very reckless and unreasonable is liked by everyone. Not only by everyone, but also by the Chief. She seems to be able to do everything you can do better, and seems to go against Sybil's judgement all the time. Who does she think she is, you think to yourself. Worse is that even when you treat her with animosity, she treats you with cool professionalism, never seeming that bothered.

Your senior have always sent two enforcers with you, one who was once an inspector just like you, but why would you listen to him, he lost his job and sequentially lost his right to say anything about anything to you, the other one who you have being harboring a crush on this whole time, even though she is an enforcer, a latent criminal, she has been kind and patient with you, even though she also seems to trust in your senior's judgement. She might also be in a relationship with the analyst, but you choose not to think too hard about it so it won't cloud your hue. You don't understand why your senior is doing any of this.

The first time you are at a scene before her, you are unsure if you should go into the building to intervene, you stand there hesitating, you know there is a senior inspector already in the building. She has been on this job for 10 years now, how would she not know the protocols. And while you stand there with the two enforcers, this time without the pesky guy who used to be an inspector who give you words of advice you don't want to hear about, not knowing what to do, waiting for something to happen.

The Unit 2 people shows up on scene, they tell you they have taken over by the orders of the Chief. Once again you have been undermined, but none of that matter. Because swiftly after, the metal curtains rises and unit 2 points their Dominators at every person who ran out of the building clothed nothing beside their underwear, and judged all of them to be unfit to a part of Sybil's society. Your senior shows up on scene and screams at all of them. But you don't even know you heard that, you were too busy staring at all of the blood at your feet, these used to belong to the hostages.

You soon learned that the Senior who worked as an inspector for 10 years, was the first to be eliminated in the building, she was now also just another puddle of blood.

You learned that there is something very suspicious about one of the enforcers you work with, and how he has an odd obsession with your senior. You take the time while they are off on a case to research and even go to his quarters to do some sleuthing. You find out that is he is a massive stalker, have been taking pictures of her and analyzing it. You don't really know what you were going to do with this information. But you ended up finding more and more about this guy, so you go on and put all of this into a report to give your chief in lieu of explaining why you think your senior is not fit for the job.

What you did not realized that you got more than you bargained for, you have now learned the TRUTH of this world, the real face of Sybil. And you cannot turn back, and now "they", "they" want to ruin you.

Your senior continuously works with this guy who is monster under human clothing, unbeknownst to you, he designed himself to remind her of someone, the perfect kind of uncanny valley. He asks you to figure out where your senior's grandmother resides, and you are scared, and you are just 18, a man is looming over you, exerting power and unspoken violence at you, and part of you still think you want to hit where it hurts at your senior.

Very soon, your senior will have a melt down while confronted by a severed ear of her grandma. If any hope of having her grandmother coming back alive was dashed, when you were sent the brutal images of an old woman beaten to death, helpfully having her smiling face on the side as an addition to identify the bloody mess. Some part of you know that "they" probably sent this image to your senior as well.

In the mess of the moment, you slip away and find the man who has been threatening you bleeding on the verge of dying, you think maybe all you have to do is judge him. His hue is dark as soot, Sybil will judge him and all you need is pull the trigger. But his consciousness slips away before you make up your mind to shoot him, your Dominator returns to it dormant state. Your time has passed.

You declare that you will forget all of this. That you believe in Sybil, and that also means you believe in "them".

The female enforcer you relied on this whole time tells you that the person who leaked the information about your senior's grandmother was indeed that man, but she suspect there must be someone else who told that to him first. She says to you "whoever that person is, I'll never forgive them." In that moment, she seems cold, she looks at you pointily and you reply "same here". Your crush with her probably died in this moment.

You don't know this yet, but you probably never will forgive yourself.

In the coming years, you will grow to have a better relationship with your senior. You will call her your senior not with annoyance but because you grew to respect her and like her. And she will call you Mika-chan as token of affection she has for you. You will grow to rely on her, and she sees you as a trustworthy partner. Even if you don't see eye to eye on everything, you learn to work well with her, and with the rest of your team, forming real friendships with other enforcers, seeing them not just as a number, their crime coefficients, but as real human people. Something that took you a long time to learn.

Now you are the chief inspector, an amazing position to have at your young age. You have to take care of some hot headed rookies after your "senpai" entrusted Unit 1 to you. They are annoying, and reckless, and even more unreasonable. When they tell you about how they are doing all of this because they are detectives after all. You suddenly think about your unit 1.

(Psycho-pass 3 chapter 3 page 20)

You mutter annoyingly, you have to left these dumb kids go do their stupid justice.

You are the same age as the rooky pair. You are 24 years old, you have been on this job for 7 years now.

iii. Women's justice

I spend a lot of time thinking about the conversation Shion and Yayoi has at the end of s1. Yayoi notes that "all of the old fashion men are gone from the job", saying that they are "not suited", while Shion think it would be kinder to call them "romantics".

I did not even think about how crazy this is until recently, but during the 2 months where Gino went to a medical center and before he was reassigned back to unit 1 as an enforcer. There are only two people at the office of unit 1, Akane and Yayoi. How horrifying lonely and isolating that must be. Having to lose everyone in such a short amount of time, when does grieving for one starts and the grieving for the other ends.

Season 2 is a lot to me about where men and their understanding of justice led them, and fall out of that looks like. In s2, we focus on Akane's understanding of justice which stems from her faith in people and approaches to reasonings which heavily influenced by Kogami. We also have Mika who is more like Gino in s1, or even earlier in his career, a person who deeply believes that she is doing the right and just thing while missing the mark over and over again. And then we also have Aoyanagi who has been an inspector for 10 years, and felt that she kind of lost her way after killing her trusted enforcer that she knew for a long time. I adore all of them, and how their way of interacting with justice and crime is very different to first season.

I was honestly super happy to see Aoyanagi in Sinner of the System 2, seeing her being vibrant, caring and also forward thinking, getting to work together with Masaoka. It made me wish she will eventually get a prequel novel (that I will have to spend 2 week trying to find a way to read it).

This is me not saying "men are from Mars, women are from Venus", I thinks what I am trying to explain is more nuanced than just "men and women are the same" or saying "men and women are different". And I think Psycho pass is also trying to saying something here about gender. (All my favorite works are somehow about gender.)

I quite like characters like Mika, she is so righteous in what she believes in a worthy cause, the upholding of Sybil. She so firmly believes it, while her own pettiness and pride chides her into doing things that ruins her. I supports women's wrong, and sometimes women's wrong looks like a 18 year old girl fucking up her own and other people's life because she is too petty and too set in her own ways.

But I also think it is quite nice that we get to see her gradual growth through out sinner of the system and s3 and then her moment in providence, which made me and my friend actually cheer when we saw it. That Mika would go and beg Sybil to go help Akane, because Akane is too valuable. Mika is stubborn and petty and prideful, but she can grow to be loved by others, and by that she can also grow to love herself.

iv. Why both Togane and Kamui combine to make the shadow of Kogami

Togane as a character fascinates me so much. He was basically "genetically engineered " (not literally), I guess in this case, "emotionally engineered" to break through Akane's guard. He choose to smoke the same braid of cigarettes as Kogami, he stands near her to affirm her decisions, he talks in a way that made Akane think she is talking Kogami, quite literally overlapping Kogami's image over Togane's.

And he was able to achieve all of this by how you ask.

By rigorously stalking her, documenting her hue everyday, analyzing her facial expression. This chills me to no end. Stalking is not uniquely a crime that effects women, and any sources I could possible cite is probably woefully under reported. But I have heard many people told me that s2 is boring or low stakes or that one of my personal "favorite" was calling "kamui too feminine as a villian", which was a opinion I read on r/psychopass (why am I still in that sub reddit baffles even me) that now just lives rent free in my brain like some kind of horrible worm that won't leave.

I find Togane to be very unsettling, he feels so awfully predatorial, this can also be demonstrated in his interactions with Mika once he shows his true color to her. I think seeing Mika freak out and crying on the desk while he pushes her head down, never not given me fight or flight responses.

Kamui, on the other hand, is so soft. He is very polite. I guess I also learn that "narcissist" and his favorite item is "a mirror" in wiki. I don't know where they got that, and who is manning the psycho pass wiki, please put your sources in. Is it from the s2 profiling book? And also because it is not very complete, half of the pages don't even mention providence (which was a blessing for me for the longest time), and not to speak about the tvtropes page for psycho pass, which is riddled with how s2 is bad. Saying it like it a fact or something.

Kamui is so interesting, because he seems like he genuinely cares for each and every part of the people in his plan. Not saying that he is not ready to sacrifice them for the greater cause, but it also seemed like he felt bad for each of the people he lost on his way to confront Sybil. He shed tears for them, and seems like he remembers their name, their past, and their ambitions. This is why I was quite annoyed when I found out that somehow he was also a "narcissist" or something. Because I really liked the idea that Kamui was also suppose to be juxtaposition to Makashima in s1, who is very individualistic. But also that Kamui was also supposed to be Akane's foil. He believes everyone can be saved, by him.

I read this on Pixiv while reading a fic about Akane and Mika, that assessed, paraphrased by me "Mika hates criminals, but Akane hates crimes itself, to the point she wants to save criminals from crime."

Kamui felt like he was able to save people from Sybil. While being admired by the people he were able to save. Kamui still felt very alone being a collective, not being recognized by Sybil, let's say he is seeking recognized from the proverbial mother. The two kinds of fear of being "the horrifying ordeal of being known" vs "not being known". And this case Kamui wished to be seen.

Sybil as the proverbial mother. In a way mirroring Togane's complex about his mother, and his devotion to Sybil.

Kamui says in the first episode of s2 about thinking Akane would understand him, that the guy who just exploded, not by Akane's hand by the way, is very interesting. This is further expanded on in the manga, where in the later part of s1 Gino talks to his therapist, who we now know was just Kamui in holo, and Gino tells him that he doesn't want to stop working yet, even if it leads to him having worsen hues. And it is thanks to watching Akane's work in the field giving him a sense of hope. That hope is also what pushes Kamui to go on and commit the action of s2.

In the tunnels, Akane walk through them alone. Kamui is holding many hostages underground as his final plan of s2 to DDos the system, and she was told to go detonate the bomb that will bury them all by Sybil. She made up her mind to do something different, this new found courage and determination given to her by imagining Kogami by her side.

She will let Kamui judge Sybil and so Sybil can judge him.

In the dark she encounters Kogane, who tell her that supported her, and telling her that he would go kill Kamui, that "Enforcer Kogami would've done the same". These were words that designed to get her. There is something really awful about Kogane, like inspirational murderer who wants to set people free or war hungry mercenary dictating the causality of peace, these are all very horrible and scary. But Togami feels very personal, slimy, all this is to groom her to be in the perfect corner for him to corrupt her.

After Kamui and Akane face the Sybil system. Togane comes in and is ready to execute Kamui, and Akane runs in to stop him. Togane has already seen his mother's brain scattered on the ground before he came in, he has nothing to lose. He proudly tells Akane that he was the one who brutally beat Akane's grandmother to death. Akane's psycho pass spike up to 87.9, which is the highest we ever saw her.

Kamui reassures Akane that "the spirit of the law" that she so deeply believes in, "if that can become the scales of justices that weigh all society equally". With real law like that, can make even Sybil a real god someday. This steels Akane, and her number drops to 48.5. Kamui pushes Akane away, and both Togane and Kamui shoot each other.

And in the most insane decision s2 production could have done. After Akane who spends the better half of s2 chasing Kogami's shadow by lighting up his cigarettes, hallucinating him encouraging her, and at her worst by overlapping Togane's words and image with Kogami's voice. The s2 production team made that, the moment when Kamui gets shot and turns to her, visually mirror Kogami getting shot by Akane in s1 episode 1.

That mirroring shot composition will haunt me forever I guess.

In every corner, Akane will see Kogami, whether if she tries to look for him or not. And that is how both Kamui and Kogane makes a Kogami.

v. Kogami and Akane's relationship

I feel like I need to explain my thoughts on this, before I go and excitably draw my 7 days of Shinkane week, which will probably be an art piece that I am mildly happy with, accompanied by like a dissertation paper on my feelings about them in every "era" of their interactions.

I am a shinkane shipper don't get me wrong, but I am also of the firm belief that Akane also isn't romantically interested in Kogami in the s1. This is quite important to me, even when I was a teenager watching the show. Akane seems to not be bothered when she is teased by Kagari for liking Kogami, when she blushes about going on a date, she is actually blushing at the concept of learning profiling, and not an outing with Kogami.

I found Akane incredibly admirable steadfast in her belief of justice and law. It was very important to me that the s1 anime did not make her seem like a blushing school girl who clung to Kogami's every word because she liked him romantically. She listened and challenged him, even going to wager her worth to safely retrieve him with Sybil. Because she saw Kogami to be her partner, her mentor, a person who she trusted and admired.

This is probably more of me speculating on "vibes" alone, but on the other hand, I believe that Kogami might have caught feeling for Akane at a certain point in the middle of s1. This is just me, but also Kogami cannot be more happy to see Akane in every scene in the 2015 movie. That is a guy who is very happy to see Akane, even when he is told this is supposed to be their execution ground.

Akane develops her habit on relying on Kogami's cigarette smoke, I think this is more for comfort, and maybe closer to infatuation than love, or maybe it is faith.

And then 2015 movie they just had to have the most tension ever, horrifying amount of chemistry, and then it is all over I guess. Akane, kogami, they were all cooked. after that, every time they are on scene I am biting the corners of my television, grrr bark hisiss. And every time Kogami mention Akane he looks so soft, what is wrong with him, big wet cat ugghhdhdheeeeshh why didn't you just say sorry when you had the opportunity too, gasrrrrrr.

Oh yeah, I was trying to explain why this all matters. So having Akane wanting to rely on Kogami is what made her looks vulnerable and exploitable in the eyes of Togane.

Which is why I think it is quite funny and important that Akane learns kind of the wrong-ish right-ish lesson by the end of s2. Saiga tells her that he is going to put himself back in the cage, despite of the fact that his hue has been improving, and he tells her "being dependent doesn't quite suit me".

This later part is not in the anime version, but in the end of the manga, (in this case because psycho pass is an anime original, I use manga as a supplementary material) she looks at the cigarette and notes that she is okay and that she is now a full-fledged detective.

(Psycho-pass 2 chapter 26 page 25)

And the last line she says in the manga mirrors the line that Saiga says, she puts out cigarette and says " after all being dependent doesn't quite suit me". (I did not include the page after since it is translated as "since depending on does not mean to agree on". my translation is from comparing the Japanese scan and comparing it to the Chinese one.)

I think this is a quite important moment for her since Akane spends a lot of her time feeling like she is playing catch up with Kogami. This also doesn't mean that she doesn't still want to reach out to Kogami when she is given the chance to. She doesn't stop lighting cigarettes even in 2015 movie and she goes all the way to SEAUn to go find him.

Akane I think understood that she needed to stop relying on ghost in her mind, and maybe when the next time she see Kogami she wants to be treated more as an equal (emotionally). Which is why the phone call scene in Providence makes me go feral.

vi. Sybil as a character, who also wants character growth

People who are not happy with s2 and called the ending unsatisfying, probably had a different idea of what they wanted the show to be.

In a story like psycho pass, one who watch the first season would easily describes it as the "dystopian sci-fi thriller" it is. But honestly by the 2015 movie, can you really call the world of psycho-pass a dystopia? I have never read a piece of work where lots and lots of character agrees and knows there is something very wrong with the world. But instead of choosing to tear it all down, they are attempting to systematically incrementally changes it from within. A lot of people out there might not think it is that sexy, but I think reform is really cool and based. And as we live in our own dystopian world, that is how the real work enact changes as well, I actually really appreciate how Psycho pass takes it time.

Of course, by the point when season 2 come up, people don't know that yet.

In s2 Sybil is also an active player in the world. Sybil can be cunning, actively pitting Mika against Akane, and watch them run around like funny little lab rats. They are afraid to be shaken and challenged, they don't want to hold up a mirror. They are curious, they also want to be accepted. They can also experience fear. All of this makes for great conflicts in s2. And Akane for one, is interested in having Sybil improve with time or to be threaten to be left behind.

Kamui wants to have a honest conversation with Sybil, and Akane leads him to it. Kamui is recognized by Sybil for the first time, now Sybil can also "see" themselves now. Akane points the Dominator at him, and Kamui asks her that why doesn't she point the Dominator at Sybil.

"The one who's holding the Dominator becomes a part of it" Kamui tells her, "when a true judge appears someday, no matter how many brains it removes, it Crime Coefficient may remain high."

"it is possible that this judge might be, the person standing in front of me right now". I have to say this whole conversation is probably really ringing crazy bells in my head because I just watched Providence for the first time not too long ago. (I am not okay, I am ill, god it was everything I need, I need to go cry and vomit in the bathroom now)

There are two parts of it. In s3 Arata talks about the reason why he like Dominators is because it has a trigger, and that he can choose to shoot or not. This is a huge part of Akane's belief as well, very evident in the episode 1 of s2, where she wait to shoot the guy on the edge of 299 to 300.

I have always liked the conversation in s1 where Kasei talks to Gino about the trusting the system. The idea is not that Sybil system is perfect, but instead human belief makes it perfect. The efforts of the people, the faith they have in this system, that is what make the system run smoothly.

And having people like Akane and Arata, and all of the other people they influenced, who actively challenge the System's judgment, they had made the system better. This is what "the one who's holding the Dominator becomes a part of it" means to me.

The second part of this conversation is about judgement to Sybil. This is something that is again echoed in Providence, Akane lets Sybil absorbs General, Tonami in anger shoots her and declares that what she is trying to do is killing god, "you are the witch who bring disaster to society."

And then Akane went and killed god in the end of Providence, and both my friend and I just had to pause the movie, and scream into a pillow for 10 minutes.

Akane believes her action would be helpful for improvement of both Sybil and law. This is such a fascinating concept. And I really cannot wait to see if they will explore this idea further in s4.

Sybil is still evolving, and one day they will stand judgement before the people.

vii. Wrapping up because I spent 2 days writing this non stop

There are still so much I want to write about in s2, about how Gino is so funny in season 2 and how I love him. And how much I love Sho as an adorable fluff ball. Yayoi and Shion going strong. And also SAIGA!

There are so much I can say about the whole s2 that really makes me want to scream from the roof top. Long long ago when I imagined myself writing this *look at word count and sweat* normal looking tumblr post. (pending 5.2k ish) I thought about naming it something like "In Defense of Psycho pass 2", but honestly speaking s2 is amazing, it speaks for itself.

This ended up being half me talking about s2 and half me just needing to word vomit about Providence that permanently bricked my brain.

One day I will write the post about Providence ending mirrors, s1 ending and that is going to kill me.

If you read to the end, thank you! Looking forward to more unhinged post from me? With better art hopefully.

[wild-west-wind]

sorry if this is an odd question, but how did you become a park ranger? and did you "always" know you wanted to be a park ranger? (as in, did you decide this long ago and went to the right schools for it, or did it just sorta happen because of your educations?)

it seems like such a fascinating job, i feel like i would enjoy it but alas ive never been really good at the subjects required for it, but that doesnt stop me from daydreaming and looking at your posts about your job with like... is there a word for when youre kinda jealous of someone but in a kind and inspiring way? like "wow wish that were me!" but in a sweet way? haha im sorry, english isnt my first language and i just woke up and decided to send this

i hope you have a good day!!

Not an odd question at all!

So, as for how I became a park ranger, I live blogged the process in real time when I was first applying. In short, get two years of college (ideally a degree), learn how to write a good federal resume (it's different), apply for 100 jobs (easy once you get going), and get one job offer. The first seasonal job is the hardest, then the first permanent job. Lateral moves are really easy once you have your foot in the door. The government doesn't want to take risks on hires, but once someone else has vetted you, you can go anywhere.

And I absolutely did not always want to be a park ranger! It's like the ideal job I dreamed of at age 5, but I didn't go to school with this in mind, I wasn't dreaming about it at night. I needed a job, and this seemed like a good fit, so I went for it! It's probably a 60/40 split at my park, people who fell into this versus people who went and got one of those "Parks Management" sort of degrees that are totally useless outside this career path (and tbh really not necessary IN this career path).

And you should totally apply. The NPS manages A LOT of sites focusing on a lot of topics, and even in sites that are irrelevant to what you actually study, you'd still be bringing good skills in. Among our permanent staff I work with directly every day, we have a Parks Management degree, a music degree, geology/environmental science, biology, spanish, economics, and film arts something or other. Our summer staff has even more diverse educational backgrounds. If you're willing to put in the work, and you give a shit about where you are, you'd be a good park ranger.

As someone who lives vicariously through a lot of people, I'm happy to know some pictures and stories I'm posting here are giving you good day dream material!

[sweatermuppet]

sorry if you've been asked this before but have you gone to college or are you interested? a lot of my fav writers went to pretty prestigious places and have masters or phds etc and i was the type of person who never thought i'd be able to go to school for writing (or anything really) but i'm gonna try this upcoming school year. would love any insight you have if any <3

my feelings on further education for writing are complicated, but to put it out there at the top: i did not go to college & do not consider it necessary to be published

i did not apply to college in high school, which was highly controversial according to teachers, who insisted i need to at least look. i had some poor grades (almost failed creative writing, almost failed sophomore english) & did not attend many after school programs. i skipped class, had a suspension on record for fighting, & i was deeply deeply clinically depressed. i was in therapy, on medication, & could not see that another few years of school would suit me, especially because i was trying to come out as trans in a small school & that exhausted & despaired me. i did not have savings, scholarship offers, & my parents had told me since childhood that any secondary education would be my responsibility

i would like to go to college now i think, or at least attend more workshops & small classes for poetry & fiction, but i still feel it is very unlikely. education costs are too high for me to consider it an agreeable sacrifice for those experiences & connections. if i had the chance to go somewhere for writing, it would have to be within a financial margin that seemingly does not exist for current college costs & i refuse to take out loans, especially when i would rather work a day job & further my transition

i think it is very possible to educate yourself. there are lots of online resources available that can provide you with lessons, prompts, readings, & "homework". one key element, that ive discussed with other published friends, is that doing it alone... means you are that: alone. there is a lot of value in being taught by someone or someones who can answer your questions & give you a uniquely human perspective. i have taught myself a lot privately, but it does come with a sometimes crushing distance that can feel downright alienating, if not discouraging. there is a thrill in discussing poetry in a group that cannot be replicated in solitude

on the other hand, i think experiences cannot be taught in a classroom. to write, you must live first. you have to have material & it is difficult to craft material when you are entirely occupied with study. heartbreak, loss, love, wonder, can all happen during college, & even college is its own experience, but i do think there is a lot of overlooked value in people who just do... people things without wondering if it'll make a good poem

when i went to a writing retreat last year, i was the only man to attend (or ever apply!) & the only person in the group to not have gone to, or actively be in, college. i was torn between thinking i was an outsider, because everyone around me was "better educated" & feeling like id accomplished something all on my own

so... at the end of the day, i think it is entirely personal whether someone goes to college for writing. i know people who have gone & loved it & others who did not find it useful. i think these depend upon yourself, the school, your style, what you're hoping to achieve, etc. i think most of all it's deeply important to learn with other people when you can, to talk to people about poetry, to go to readings & subscribe to journals & visit libraries & take notes. how that is done is up to you