#no bc why did i have to see this. scenes that instantly break your heart and make you want to lie on the floor | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zyafics-recs · 2 months ago

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reblogging comment review from @zyafics

guess who has to be studying for another exam but instead she needs to catch up on this fic? (this girl) little annotations below ⬇️

Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.

manifest it girlypop

What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.

i eat up any scenes where she wants nothing to do with him and he barges into her life and finds out all the things he's been missing out? the angst of not being able to go backward in time no matter how much you regret it

You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.

i would burst out in tears

Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five.

i was like why r we bringing up topper's bitch ass here and then i realized it to put in a frame of reference that she couldn't possibly know topper's birth bc he moved to kildare later. i just thought reader needed to put in a quick jab about topper 😭

You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.

i love the spiral of madness. i'm reading (and analyzing) it and i'm so so amazed by how ur structure descends. it flows so smoothly - from one topic to the next - all at a great pace and with a lot of internal turmoil. it builds up to me feeling everything reader feels.

It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.

ugh, i love the parallels between her being (potentially) pregnant and the idea that she has to wrap her life around this foundation for children.

The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.

i love her i feel like she inches closer to insanity every day and i, too, feel the same

If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.

like i said

You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room.

BABES 😭 YOU'RE CARRYING HIS CHILD oh this is too good, the idea that she wants to erase him from her life and leave no space for him (mind), but her body is accommodating spacefor his child, making her reserve a permanent space for him in her life

Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.

i fear i would crash out if i am currently stressed with the idea of being pregnant and remembering my ex bf and remembering my lost parents

If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.You were going to do this without him.

my boss baby!!!

There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.

topper, in the words of reader, a bitching BACKSTABBER

“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”

ugh i love ur dialogues sosososo much

You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.

so fuck his parents then ig

You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala?

apparently me

There it was.

💌 — aaaaaaaaaa, i'm so glad i waited until after my exam to read this and truly experience the gift of ur writing. i love the juxtaposition and parallels in this scene! especially with her deleting rafe from the gala's list, erasing space from him in her life, but having his child grow inside of her. i love love how she has to have a gala for children—and crippling over the current dilemma of whether she has a child herself. and i love that she's very isolated in a sense, because it amplifies how this child can truly make or break her. topper was so enjoyable—especially their conversation. u always write dialogues so smoothly!! honestly, i thought this scene would end with rafe showing up unannounced at the gala, haha but ig we'll see in next chapter

LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - TWO

pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of possible pregnancy, of abortion, of pregnancy risks & death. self-loathing. chapter one

You lied.

You didn’t take the tests the next day.

Once you knew, you knew.

There was no more pretending as if nothing happened.

No more pretending like you didn't care that Rafe moved on like he didn’t just dump you, with no real closure and ran to the next girl he found.

Fuck, why did he have to look so happy that night? He got to be carefree, living his perfect little life with her, and you were there, sitting on the bathroom floor, too scared to even pee on a stick.

He didn't deserve anything from you anymore.

You started googling abortion clinics before you even touched the tests. You could afford it. That wasn’t even the issue.

You had more money than you knew what to do with. Your inheritance was just sitting there. You could book a flight tomorrow, pay for whatever procedure, whatever it took—fly out of state, out of the country, if you had to.

But that wasn’t the point. It has never been about the money. It was the overwhelming shame. The fear. The realization that Rafe might have left you, but he was still there, stuck in your head, in your body, in your fucking life. Even when he wasn’t.

He didn’t have to worry about any of this. He was most likely out on the boat, not even thinking about you. Not thinking about what he did to you.

And you— you were left with this. Sitting on a bathroom floor for hours a day, trying to figure out how you were supposed to make a decision that changed everything.

You started looking up clinics again, scrolling through the options, but your mind was barely even there. It was legal in North Carolina for now, but you read something about the 12-week ban they passed in June, and suddenly you were spiraling one more time, wondering how much time you even had.

Could you wait? Could you put it off like you’d been putting off the tests, like if you waited long enough, maybe the problem would just... disappear? Shit, wouldn’t that be easier?

You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.

It was depressing how life didn’t let you hold tightly to your memories sometimes. She always reminded you of the kind of person you were supposed to be. The type of girl who had her shit together. The type of girl who didn’t get herself into situations like this, in the first place.

But instead, you were the girl who lost everything—the life you were supposed to have—and somehow, you’d still found a way to screw up what was left.

You kept scrolling like you couldn’t stop.

One page led to another, and soon you weren’t just looking up clinics—you were looking up everything.

What happened during the procedure, how long it took, the side effects, the complications. You read horror stories about infections, about women who thought it was over and then bled for weeks, about people who changed their minds too late.

You even looked up what could happen if you didn’t get an abortion—what pregnancy could do to your body. And that was a whole other rabbit hole you didn’t need to go down. Your body changing, your hormones going insane. You thought about your boobs getting sore, your stomach stretching, the possibility of throwing up every morning, and it felt like your body was already betraying you. And then you read the serious stuff—gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, all these words you didn’t even know existed before that night. There was a minefield of things that could go wrong, things that would go wrong.

Complications. Risks. Dangers.

You read about women who almost died in labor. About miscarriages and stillbirths and the trauma of carrying a baby for months, only to lose it. You never even thought about that, how pregnancy wasn’t just this smooth, magical process people make it out to be. It was brutal. But you’d been the little sister, you never saw your mother go through it, or anyone for that matter.

Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five.

You were terrified—not just of being pregnant, but of what it meant to stay pregnant. Would your body even handle it? You’d always lived off coffee and takeout half the time. An unreasonable amout of parties. Too many drinks some nights.

For a second there, you thought you might pass out.

You’d thrown your phone across the room, it hit the wall with a thud, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was still there, vibrating under your skin, making you want to scream. You glanced at the bathroom drawer again, where the pregnancy tests were hidden like some cursed thing.

Maybe you should’ve just taken one.

Rip off the bandaid.

The stupid phone rang, like was having fun pissing you off, vibrating on the floor where you’d thrown it. You stared at it for a second, debating if you should even pick it up. You didn’t feel like dealing with anyone, especially not whoever was about to ask something from you.

But it kept ringing, and of course, it was a number you recognized—Lily, one of the coordinators from your dad’s foundation. Shit. You forgot about the gala. Again. The one that was happening in two freaking days, the one you haven’t even thought about preparing for.

You swiped to answer, “Yeah?”

“Hey, I didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go over the final details for the gala,” She greeted you, sounding way too perky for how you were feeling. “I really need your input on the seating arrangements, and the auction items, and—”

You blinked back into the conversation, realizing she still talking, and you hadn’t said a word. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy. Can you just handle it?” you muttered, feeling guilty but not enough to actually deal with any of it.

“I’ve already taken care of most things,” she said carefully, “but we really need your approval on the final guest list and the speech. You’re the face of the foundation, after all.”

The face of the foundation. The legacy your dad left you. It was supposed to be this huge responsibility. And it was. You’d always taken it seriously. The one thing in your life you never ruined. But this year, you hadn’t written the speech yet. Jesus, you forgot it was even happening. And the guest list? No clue.

You rubbed your forehead, “I’ll look at it later. Just send it over.”

Lily hesitated again, probably sensing that something was off, you'd always been a control freak. “Okay, I’ll email it to you. Just let me know by tomorrow, alright?”

“Yeah, sure.”

You hung up before she could add anything else, staring at the ceiling. One more thing. One more responsibility piled on top of everything else. You were drowning in all these expectations—being the good daughter to dead parents, the responsible one, the perfect kook girl who was supposed to have everything. You were supposed to be the girl who had the trust fund, the perfect life, the foundation that helped kids in need.

You earned to be her.

Your phone buzzed again, this time with an email notification. You rolled your eyes, already knowing it was from Lily. She’d sent over the guest list, and you groaned, thinking you’d skim it, give it a half-assed glance, and send it back. But as you scrolled down the names, you stopped.

Rafe Cameron.

Of course, he was going to be there. Why wouldn’t he? His family had been involved in your dad’s foundation for years. It was like you couldn’t escape him.

The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.

Fuck him.

If he thought he could just show up and rub his new life in your face, he had another thing coming. Without thinking twice, you deleted his name, erasing him like he didn’t even exist. And then, without checking another name, you sent the list back to Lily.

You didn’t give a shit if it was petty. You didn’t care if it wasn’t professional.

Not over this. Not over you.

You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room.

You still sat there staring at the screen with that stupid blinking cursor. The email from Lily sat open in front of you, and somewhere buried in the list of attachments was the speech. Blank.

Your speech—the one you were supposed to read at the gala in two days. The one you hadn’t even started writing.

This was always the hardest part. Writing it. Saying it. You used to cry every time. Standing in front of all those people, talking about your dad, your family, how the foundation was this beautiful way of keeping their memory alive. It was never just a speech—it was like ripping your heart out of your chest and letting everyone see it, year after year. It never got easier.

But Rafe, used to be there with you.

You could still hear his voice in your head sometimes, 'you’re stronger than you think'.

That’s what he always said, even when you didn’t believe it. He’d hold you, kiss your forehead, and make you feel like it was true, like you really could get through it. He was always so sure of you. But this year? He wasn’t going to be there. He’d stop believing the lies he fed you. You were angry. You were seething. You were utterly alone.

You’d been avoiding this moment—writing.

This time around, it wasn’t just about the speech. It was about the fact that when you walked out of that stage, you wouldn’t have him waiting for you.

You’d step down into nothingness, with no one to catch you.

Your fingers hovered over the screen, but they wouldn’t move. What were you even supposed to say this year? How were you supposed to stand up in front of all those people and talk about love and family and legacy when yours was shattered?

You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you’d lost every single piece of who you used to be.

Fuck the speech. Fuck the gala. Fuck Rafe Cameron and his stupid lies, his stupid smile, his stupid promises that he never kept.

If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.

You were going to do this without him.

You were going to stand up there and give that speech, no matter how much it hurt. And if it killed you, so be it. You’d still do it.

Because unlike him, you didn’t just walk away from the things that mattered. Even if it tore you apart. Even if it was killing you to keep pretending like you were fine. You weren’t fine. But you’d fake it. You’d fake it until the whole world believed it.

You’d barely hit send on the email when your phone rang again, and this time it wasn’t Lily.

It was Topper. You hadn’t talked to him since that night—the night. The party where you’d found out, where you’d seen Rafe and Sofia together for the first time. Where you realized that everyone knew.

How he’d called Rafe over, like you needed him to fix it, like he was still yours to rely on.

“What?”

“Hey…” Topper’s voice was cautious, “I, uh, I wanted to call and apologize for the other night.”

You snorted, leaning your head back against the wall. “Yeah? For what part? For calling Rafe like his little bitch or for getting in front of my car when I was trying to leave?”

“I didn’t mean to fuck things up. I was just trying to stop you from doing something stupid.”

“Like what?” you snapped. “Leaving the party? Getting out of there before I had to watch him with her for one more second? Yeah, Top, real dumb of me.”

“You almost ran me over,” Topper shot back, his voice rising just a little, like he was offended you hadn’t mentioned that part. “Kinda felt like maybe you weren’t thinking straight.”

“You jumped in front of the car you fucking idiot. What the hell did you expect me to do? Slam on the brakes and listen to whatever bullshit you and Rafe had to say? Because trust me, ’m all out of patience for either of you.”

He never really got it.

“Look,” Your cousin started, calmer this time, “I didn’t mean to call him. I just thought—”

“You always think calling him will fix things,” you cut in, “Like he’s the answer to every problem I have. He’s not. Not anymore.”

“I get that,” He added quickly, like he was afraid you’d hang up. “But I didn’t know what else to do! You were upset, and I thought maybe—”

“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”

Topper went quiet for a second, probably trying to figure out how to respond without setting you off on an angry rant again. “I get it,” he said finally, “You’re pissed at him. You have every right to be. But I didn’t call him to hurt you, okay? I was worried about you.”

You hated how genuine he sounded, hated that he meant well. He was a nuisance half of the time, sure, but he wasn’t malicious. He never was. He just had terrible judgment.

“Next time, don’t,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face. “I don’t need you playing little brother and calling him when things go wrong."

“I wasn’t trying to clean anything up,” Topper explained, a little defensive now. “I just didn’t want you driving like that. You were upset.”

You rolled your eyes. “Upset doesn’t mean I need you or Rafe deciding what’s best for me. I’m not a kid.”

“You’re not,” he agreed, “But you weren’t exactly in a great headspace, so yeah, I stopped you. I wasn’t gonna let you leave like that and end up in a ditch somewhere.”

It hurt like a bitch, because deep down, you knew Topper had a point.

“You could’ve told me,” you confessed what had been upsetting you, your voice losing some of its initial attitude. “About them. Instead of letting me walk into that party blind.”

Topper sighed again, “I should’ve,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. And I didn’t want to make things worse.”

Your hand instinctively moved to cup your stomach. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, but the second your fingers touched your shirt, the earlier panic welled up inside you again. If he only knew how bad things were. How bad they could get. You yanked your hand away like you’d been burned, heart hammering against your ribs most painfully. There was no way you could even begin to explain what was going on inside your head—or your body.

Not to Topper. Not to anyone. If he knew, he’d freak and you didn’t need that right now.

You clenched your jaw, pushing yourself to focus on the conversation, on Topper still yammering on about apologies and guilt You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at your lips.

“Are you even listening?”

“Unfortunately,” You sounded apathetic even to yourself, fingers tapping against the phone, agitated. “Look, Top, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m busy.”

He sighed. “I know you’re pissed, okay? I get it. But the gala’s in, like, two days. You... you still going, right?”

“Of course I’m going,” you scowled, barely able to hide the bitterness in your voice. “I have to. It’s not like I can just dip out and pretend it’s not happening.”

Unlike some people, you thought, but you bit your tongue.

“Good, because I’ll be there too. And I—”

“Oh, joy,” you interrupted, “Another chance for you to babysit me and make sure I don’t make a scene? Can’t wait.”

“Jesus, I’m just trying to help!” Topper groaned. “I didn’t want to make things worse the other night. I—”

“Yeah. Whatever, I’ll see you at the gala.”

You hung up. You didn’t have the patience to deal with him right now.

The day of the gala came faster than you thought it would.

It was like you blinked, and suddenly, you were standing in the middle of the venue, walking through final checks with Lily, nodding along as she rattled off details you barely absorbed.

The room was all glitz and glamour, with chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, and everything draped in the foundation’s signature gold and white.

Crisp tablecloths. Flowers in perfect, elegant arrangements. Waiters in black-tie uniforms were circulating, making sure everything looked flawless. Flawless.

That word made you want to gag.

You moved through the space like a ghost, smiling at the right moments, giving half-hearted approvals when needed. You didn’t care. People were running around, asking for your opinion on this or that. You’d stayed at the venue longer than planned, making sure everything was in order, but your mind was stuck in that floating-place. You wanted to burn the whole thing down, if you were being honest.

You should’ve called your doctor. Days ago. Hell, maybe weeks ago.

Making smart choices wasn’t your thing lately, was it?

When you finally slipped into the room where they’d set up your glam team, you just wanted to sleep. The room itself was a suite off to the side of the venue, a private space meant to make you feel like royalty.

A massive mirror ran across one wall, surrounded by soft, glowing lights. A table was set up with everything—hair tools, makeup brushes, palettes, serums. Bottles of champagne sat chilled in the corner, the condensation dripping down the glass, untouched. It was the kind of place you were supposed to feel special in.

Normally you did. But this year you were numb.

The stylist worked quietly on your hair, soft curls falling into place as she tugged and pinned each section with meticulous care. The makeup artist was dabbing foundation onto your skin, blending and contouring until you didn’t even recognize yourself in the mirror. The dress hung behind you, a shimmering white gown, custom-designed by Versace for the occasion.

You looked like you were stepping into one of those perfect, glamorous lives. But on the inside, you felt like you were going to lose it at any second. You nodded along, giving tight-lipped smiles when they complimented you, and then they finally left.

The room was dead silent now, just you and your reflection. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, the perfect curls, the glowy skin, the gown waiting behind you. It all felt wrong. It felt fake. You didn’t bear a resemblance to yourself.

You looked like the version of you that the world expected—the untouchable girl. A doll.

Your rifled through your bag for your phone, but instead, your fingers brushed something else. Cold, hard.

You hadn’t even realized it was in there.

One of the pregnancy tests. You must’ve thrown it in without thinking earlier that morning when you were rushing out the door. You hadn’t even noticed it until now.

What the fuck were you doing?

You had a gala to host in less than an hour. People were going to be looking at you, waiting for you to give the speech, expecting you to hold everything together like always. And there you were, standing in a private dressing room, about to do something so monumentally stupid. Maybe it was the pressure of tonight, or maybe it was the anger you’d been shoving down for weeks, but suddenly, you didn’t care.

You were going to do it.

Without even thinking, you stormed into the bathroom. You were so fucking tired of avoiding this. Tired of pretending like everything was fine, like you were fine.

What the hell was fine about any of this? You tore open the box, hands trembling as you pulled out the test. The room was so quiet, you could hear every little sound—your breath still uneven, the rustle of your dress against the tiles, the click of the test cap as you flicked it off.

You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala?

You couldn’t get a proper breath out as you waited, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might rip your chest open. You leaned against the sink, gripping the edge. Your stomach churned, the nausea rising again, and you had to close your eyes to stop the floor from spinning.

What if it was positive? What if it wasn’t?

You stared at the test, willing the result to appear, but it didn’t. Not yet. The little window stayed blank, as if taunting you, making you feel like you were losing your mind. You knew you had to wait longer. You weren’t stupid. You’d read those instructions a million times by now, but you hated waiting.

Hated not knowing.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the stupid little piece of plastic. Just one line or two. That was all it came down to. One fucking line or two, and your entire life would either fall apart or what? Be fine?

You glanced at the mirror, catching another glimpse of yourself, and it almost startled you—your eyes were wild. Desperate. They were the eyes of someone who was just about ready to do anything to get this over with.

You tried to picture telling him again, but the idea alone made you sick. You thought of Sofia, of her perfect smile next to his, and bile rose in your throat. Your hands never stopped shaking. You wanted to run. You wanted to throw that thing in the garbage can and never stare at it again.

Your thoughts spun in circles, going nowhere, just making everything worse. The clock on your phone ticked louder and louder, and you knew—somewhere out there, everyone was getting ready. Guests were arriving. The gala would start soon, and they’d all be waiting for you. Watching you. Expecting you to be the poised, perfect version of yourself you’d spent your whole life pretending to be.

And you were in here, trying not to lose your fucking mind.

You peeked back at it. Still nothing.

No line. No answer.

It felt like you were suspended in time. You closed your eyes, gripping the sink harder, praying for it to end—something to happen, anything.

Then finally, you felt it in your chest—a heavy, sinking feeling, like the moment before a fall.

You opened your eyes.

There it was.

TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige @rafebb @rafesbbyy @whytheylosttheirminds

@zyafics @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron @serrendiipty @sunny1616

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@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2

@starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols @icaqttt

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron (by @itneverendshere)

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missmonsters2 · 3 years ago

Note

i’m so excited for your halloween drabbles omg. what about r asks vampire!nat to bite her bc she wants to stay w nat forever but nat doesn’t think she can do it bc she never wants to hurt r. anyways lots of angst

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: None. Kind of sads ):

Note: Modern AU set. Pumping out drabbles but why are they all 1k+ wtf

Count: ~1.2k

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"How could you ask me that?"

The devastation in Natasha's tone falls over the two of you like a heavy blanket, threatening to crush you.

"How could I not?" You asked with your voice trembling.

Natasha shook her head vehemently. "No," her voice was hoarse as she closed her eyes. "No, no, I can't."

"I'm not asking for it today or even any time soon," you swallowed. "But there's a time limit on us if you don't. You'll be alone if you don't."

You knew Natasha knew. It was in the way she looked at you, at your fragility as you breathed and bled.

But you had known she would be averse to it. After all, Natasha's change had been violent.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Youth was fleeting—especially more so now when Natasha was frozen in time.

You think Natasha regrets not appreciating the fact that she could grow old. She regrets not spending more time with the people she loved—still loves, even though they're gone.

Natasha still has you, of course. And for that, she'll always be thankful.

But you still see the loss that hollows her face every day, the loss that dims the light in her eyes.

You still remember finding Natasha.

You had come home for the summer break from college, happy that you only had one year left before your degree was finished. It was late when your flight got in, and Natasha hadn't been at the airport like the two of you planned. Your texts and calls went unanswered.

You hadn't been worried, though. Natasha often got held up at work unexpectedly and would be unable to text or call. So, you hailed a cab and showed up at her home. It had been eerily quiet, but perhaps Natasha was still at work.

When you opened the front door with your spare key, though, you knew something was instantly wrong. The smell of rust overwhelmed you, almost making you gag. The quiet darkness made your skin crawl.

Wrong. Something was terribly fucking wrong.

It was when you entered the kitchen that you dropped everything in your hands, your keys making a loud clatter.

Bodies.

Blood.

Steve.

Wanda.

Bucky.

Tony.

Pepper.

There was so much fucking blood and stillness.

Your hands were shaking, blood pumping in your ears, as your heart was pounding. You vaguely recalled your eyes continuously searching for Natasha's body, and you found it by the balcony sliding door.

Natasha was still breathing, and you cried as you knelt next to her to try to check her vitals as you called 911.

Everything had been a blur after. Natasha was in the hospital for a couple of days. She had woken up surprisingly quickly, and the cops were able to take her statement.

Natasha didn't know who had killed everyone and attacked her. She did have a late night at the office but came home for a quick shower before going to the airport to pick you up.

Everyone else had already been at her place to prepare your late-night welcome back party.

Everyone had already dead when she came in. She had been surprised that the neighbors hadn't heard anything. Just as she was calling 911, she had been attacked from behind and knocked out.

The police said Natasha had been lucky she hadn't bled out to death because she had been attacked in the neck, but the assailants had quickly left after for some reason.

While all of this happened, you quickly found a place to rent short-term. A month-to-month apartment because there was no way Natasha wanted to return to her home, even when the police were done with the crime scene.

It had been slow at first, but there had been changes happening to Natasha. She constantly complained about an ache and a burning for weeks until one day, you found her sitting at the open fridge, gorging herself with what looked like a dead squirrel and packaged raw meat.

"What's happening to me?" She cried with blood around her mouth.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It had taken time to figure things out. I mean, your obvious first guess was a vampire because all it seemed that Natasha could consume was blood. The raw packaged meat in the fridge was doing nothing for her.

But it was almost disbelief that held the two of you back from believing it. After all, there was no one you could turn to.

Until a man named Nick Fury showed up. He had heard about the attack in Natasha's home. He was some kind of director for an organization for supernatural beings.

Things had been a little easier after. There were answers, and there were people.

The only thing that continued to remain difficult was your romantic relationship with Natasha. It was a constant push and pull, and Natasha said it was hard to control her urges when she was around you, and things got too...heated.

Natasha's control steadily grew better, and with that came an urge for revenge to find who had done this to her—to find who had killed the people they loved.

The search went on with some success. It was almost like a game of tag, a really long game. But as time went on, you were becoming aware of the fragility and finality of your life. And so was Natasha.

"You're asking for this?" Natasha hissed. "You know exactly how hard it is for me to live like this and you're asking me to turn you?"

"Yes," you clenched your jaw. "Not because I want it."

You shook your head as Natasha shook her head and started to walk away. You started after her, grabbing her hand.

"Because I don't want to be without you, Nat. I don't want you to be alone forever," you pleaded her to understand. The desperation building up in your throat and in your grip on her hand. "Unless you're telling me you're okay with going our separate ways eventually because I won't be able to keep up with you down the line. I don't want to kiss someone who's always going to look 25 when I'm pushing plus forty."

Natasha turned around, her face somber.

"Unless you're telling me that you're going to move on without me, that you're going to find someone new to love and love better than me, I can't leave you alone." The words sting more than you ever thought they could. The idea of Natasha loving someone else. You'd want her to move on and be happy—you do. But it would sting knowing that there could be someone out there for her that isn't you.

It's written all over your face, and Natasha sucked in an agonizing breath as she pulled you into her arms, holding you so tightly it was on the brink of pain.

Natasha swallowed. "How could you even think there'd be someone I could ever love more than you? That I could love again after you?" Natasha felt like something was threatening to spill over. It happened all the time with being a vampire. Everything was heightened.

Anger. Happiness. Sadness. Love.

Fear.

"But you can't ask me to do this. You can't ask me to bite you and expect that I might not kill you." Natasha sighed as she let you go. "Can we not talk about this now?"

You looked at Natasha's face, that careful struggle you could see for Natasha to keep everything from cracking and spilling over into a downwards spiral.

"Yeah," you nodded, pulling her in for another hug. "Another time."

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow x reader #black widow imagine #natasha romanov imagine #natasha romanov x reader #avengers imagine #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha x you #mm: my fics #mm.drabble.nat

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anotheranimestan · 4 years ago

Note

Heyooo I legit just found u bc of the bakugo series, and then I went on a spree reading your account- ugh I’m in love!!! Do you think you could tag me when part 3 comes out?

Ahhh! Thank you so much! ❤️ You guys have no idea how much a few words of encouragement means to writers 😭.

No need to tag tho because here it is!!!!! 😃

Sorry it took so long. I wanted to write it as best as I could! I don’t want disappoint anyone who’s been enjoying so far. ☺️

All Bark No Bite (pt. 3)

(Final part)

Bakugo angst + ~sexual tensionnn~

Please, children avert your eyes. Things get a LITTLE inappropriate here 😳

Read part 1 and part 2

wc: 2.4k

He’s an asshole...but he’s a HOT asshole 🤤

You’d never seen his room before. It was much different than you’d imagined. You’d expected burn marks all over the walls or blown up debris of things scattered about. Maybe a bunch of mirrors so he could look at his self-confident, conceited ass all night. But actually it was kinda of nice. Pretty neat. He had some posters hung up and some books laying around. Black sheets and blankets. And it smelled oddly sweet in here, sort of pleasant believe it or not.

You’re so used to him yelling and exploding so it was weird seeing him so relaxed, in his natural habitat. Doing normal things. Like eating a snack, tapping his pencil in concentration, fidgeting with his hair. He even spun around in his rolling chair a few times mindlessly. He was acting sort of...cute? It was unnerving being attracted to him like this.

But as soon as he noticed you watching him it was all over. You were making him self conscious. He didn’t even realize he’d let his guard down like that.

“That makes absolutely no sense, dumbass.” His voice was bored and over it.

“What are you talking about!? I’ve explained it three times!” You retorted indignantly.

“Exactly. I thought you were smarter than this...” He jabbed before turning around and flipping his notebook shut.

You’d spent twenty minutes attempting to teach him what he’d missed in class earlier today but he was insufferable. Easily the worst student on the planet. Every time you explained something he’d tell you how to teach it better. Who does that!?

“Whatever moron. I didn’t come up here to try and teach your pea brain. I—“ The words were harder to say than you’d expected. Painful actually. They really didn’t want to come out. “I just wanted to say sorry for getting you—“

He whipped a pencil and it hit you directly in the forehead.

“Ouch, what the fuck?” You hissed, rubbing the sore spot. How’d he get so much damn power behind that thing?

“Don’t apologize. It’s weird.”

“What!?” You threw the pencil back but only managed to hit his shoulder.

“Anyways...” He ignored you, completely unfazed by your assault.

“You’re easily the most—“

“Anyways...” You swore if he cut you off one more time you were going to smack the shit out of him. “Aizawa thinks you’ve lost your mind.”

The unexpected information took you aback.

“He saw you try and get yourself blown up in class yesterday... No sane person is stupid enough to pull a move like you did.”

Ah yes... he meant the time you wrapped the man’s hand around your neck, tauntingly, in front of like 20 classmates and two teachers. You’d been trying to avoid asking yourself the question of why you did that. You claimed it was the best way to shut him up....but there were other ways to do that. More reasonable ones. You wouldn’t admit you’d daydreamed of doing it before and subconsciously took the opportunity. Red embarrassment flashed through your body again. God knows what they were all thinking when they witnessed that. You desperately wished people would stop reminding you.

Suddenly the need to defend yourself bubbled up. “I—I only did that because I knew you wouldn’t do anything.”

He scoffed. But didn’t deny it. “If you’re going to try something stupid. At least do it right.” He chastised.

Your body froze as he stood up and walked over, crouching down directly in front of you.

“If I wanted to choke you. I’d do it like this.”

He wrapped his hand around your neck. Demonstrating the best way to actually cut off someone’s air flow. But he did it so gently you barely even heard his explanation. You were just flashing back to last night. Instantly your entire body lit on fire. Replaying this scene in your head was strong enough. But reenacting had you completely out of sorts. Kissing him again but this time going full out. You wanted to bite him, just to hear him make that deep moan into your mouth again. Just imagining it was making you flutter. Aching to have him pressed up against you like that, relieving some of this pressure that was building up in your body. You felt yourself unraveling. About to pounce.

But he interjected with something that stunned you once again. “The way you did it would be better for...other forms of choking.”

Dear god. Surely he knew what he was doing to you. If he kept this up any longer your heart or your lungs were definitely going to give out.

But you mustered up your last two brain cells that weren’t absolutely losing their shit over him and carried on with your normal banter.

“Yea yea, I get it. You can stop now.”

He didn’t budge. His hand still snug around your throat. You obviously didn’t mind it there but it was incapacitating your brain function.

You gently pushed it away and he didn’t resist. But where he put it next was no better.

He traced the side of your cheek and along the outline of your lips. Just staring at them, eyes lost like he was thinking deeply about something. He wasn’t giving you a moment of a break. No room to breathe.

Your nerves were through the roof, your heart was beating so loud you could hear it in your ears. Desperately you tried to change the topic. “So is this your attempt at being nice? Advice on how to murder someone?” It’s amazing how your mouth just spewed shit out even though your brain was actually dead.

“Sure.” Now he was tugging at your bottom lip. Completely unbothered by you baiting him.

“Ah. A nice Bakugo? I must be having a dream. I guess now that you’ve lost to me your whole tough guy persona has been killed.”

That snapped him out of it. But now he was looking just as intensely, directly into your eyes.

“Don’t push it.”

“Or what?” Faking composure was coming so easily much to your relief.

“Do you want to find out?” He growled.

“You’re not scary.” You said rolling your eyes as hard as possible.

Something snapped in him. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore. Within a moment he had you on your back. Your body didn’t even have time to process. Even if it did, would you have stopped him? He trapped both your wrists on either side of your head and your feet under his ankles. His arms looked glorious as he held up is body weight.

“How about now?” His voice was deep and savory.

There he went. Invading your mind again. His scent. That lust-filled look in his eyes. The way he was thoroughly enjoying being on top of you. The adrenaline was coiling through your body. He had you right where he wanted you. He could do anything he wanted to you. But that “annoying little mouth of yours” wasn’t done quite yet.

“Whatever. You always do this. But you won’t actually try anything.”

“You think I wouldn’t hurt you at all? I literally want to kill you sometimes.” He had a smug little grin on his face. But his eyes couldn’t pull themselves from your lips. After experiencing them once he could barely stop thinking about them.

“You’re telling me? I fucking hate you.” You lied.

It made his smirk form into that wicked, shit-eating grin he always wore. The one that gets deep under your skin and makes you want to punch him in the throat and yank him onto you at the same time.

“Kissing someone is a weird way to tell them you hate them.” He was really cutting into you now.

You hissed. “Hey. You kissed me.”

“You kissed me back.” He raised an annoying little eyebrow.

Your brain wanted to choke him (the murder kind) but your body was screaming something completely different. The emotions swirling around in your chest was so overwhelming. Finally you burst.

You trapped one of his arms and corresponding leg and threw your weight to roll on top of him. One of your favorite moves from self-defense class that you knew would come in handy. Now you straddled him and using every ounce of your weight tried to pin his wrists down.

You expected him to fight you like the vicious little monster he is. But instead when you looked down he was just staring back at you. You were stunned at how good he looked at this angle. Did he have any bad angles?

“Finally. You made a move.” He said pretending to sound impressed. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Yea well...” You scoffed proudly. “you think you’re so fucking tough. Now looo—“

The words flew out of your mouth and you were tumbling again. This time he just grabbed your waist and tugged you with brute force. No technique needed. He easily overpowered you.

“Yea, that wasn’t going to work out. It was a cute try though, Little Bite.”

He laid directly on top of you now. Your legs spread as he rested his hips between them. His full weight pressed into you making it flutter. Your arms had somehow wrapped themselves around his neck and rested on his back.

The tension in the air made it difficult to breathe. But you were fully unconcerned with getting oxygen right now.

Nose to nose now he said “We’ll just count this as my rematch. Clearly I won.”

“You suck at flirting.”

Flirting? Where’d that come from?

“Seems like it’s working pretty good to me.”

That smug fucking face again.

“You’re such an ass.”

He bit his lip.

“Fuck...I love when you insult me like that.”

A beat passed and that was all it took. You smashed his lips onto yours. Wrapping your legs around him and squeezing. Too close wasn’t close enough.

He kissed you like he wanted you bad. Like you were his favorite meal and he was absolutely famished. It was so intense and passionate that neither of you could catch any air. Every insult, all the bickering, every jab had built up to this moment and was fueling it like gas to a forest fire.

His warmth was overtaking you. His body was so heavy, crushing you just liked you’d been daydreaming about all this time.

Your mind shut down all functions except desperately trying to use all five senses to their max capacity and commit every bit of him to memory.

He felt you pawing at the edge of his shirt and sat up. He peeled it off slowly. Letting your eyes adjust to every inch of him.

Your hands were instantly stroking every one of his muscles starting at his shoulders and trailing down his soft skin slowly...slowly to the edge of his jeans. Your index finger sat teasingly on the front button as you admired his perfectly toned body.

But before you even had time to think about what you wanted to do next he took your wrist and secured it down above your head again.

He dipped down and went straight for your neck.

Greeting it with a warm wet kiss from his tongue, his lips wrapped around your skin and sucked gently. You felt the blood pooled with pleasure rushing to the area. His other hand started exploring your body. Finally he was getting to put his hands on you the way he really wanted all along.

After you started tugging on his hair, desperately trying to avoid any scandalous hickeys he rolled you around again.

Letting you on top to straddle his hips. Giving you only a little bit of freedom though, as he locked one arm around your waist and the other started caressing your thighs slowly working his way north.

After squeezing your ass until his heart was content he clamped down both hands on your hips. You couldn’t bare it anymore. Your hips started gently grinding against him and you bit down on his neck all at once. You felt the angle of his pelvis rubbing into you creating little rumbles of pleasure.

“Fuck y/n..” he muttered under his breath.

You both were getting more and more bothered and aroused. His hands never stopped grabbing and tugging at you. His moans growing more fervent as he whispered into your ear.

He was just toying with the idea of peeling off your shirt when...

“THIS IS THE POLICE! COME OUT!”

Your soul practically rose out of your body as a loud bang almost broke the door down. Bakugo’s hand slapped over your mouth. You’d screamed without realizing it.

Kaminari’s laugh sounded through the door. “Oh my god Bakugo! You scream like a girl!”

Mina shrieked. “No, stupid! Y/n are you in there!?”

Your life was ending.

“Get the fuck out of here before I come out there and break your skulls!” Bakugo barked at them.

They didn’t say anything but you heard their quick footsteps as they ran down the hall still shrieking like banshees.

“Oh god..” you groaned as you tried to roll away from him, using his bare chest to push off.

But he wouldn’t let you go. “Where are you going?”

“Aren’t you going to go hunt them down and threaten them or something.” Typical Bakugo behavior.

“No, I’m busy.”

You had to stop your mouth from falling open.

“They’re probably going to tell everyone.” You prodded. Expecting his temper any second now. Like he was a bomb about to go off. You pulled away again in preparation, sitting fully upright now.

“I’ll deal with them tomorrow. I’m dealing with you tonight. Now get back over here before I get mad.”

You shrieked as he muscled you back into his arms. He bent you back around him as snugly as he could. Moving your chin to the side, he kissed your neck, sweeter this time. Instinctively your hands ran through his hair. Fuck the rest of them. You could get lost in this hot head all night. And you were as he started gently sucking on your soft spots again.

But he pulled away abruptly. Like he’d just realized something. “How are you gonna become a pro hero if a moron like Denki can scare you like that?”

You smacked the back of your idiot’s head lightly. “Don’t fucking ruin it.” You groaned.

“Fine.” He grinned as he went in for the kiss that started the rest your next piping hot and sticky couple of hours together.

~💥💥

TADAAA! What did you guys think?? What was your favorite part overall?

I’d love hearing your thoughts and opinions 😃 makes me a better writer

Also special shout-out to @jennammaee ! Pt. 2 of this series has been my most successful post yet, so thanks for encouraging me to write it!!

Tags: @sweetsailor000 @yumxmii @fullsundear @frosted-flakes @marloalmore @aprilbouz01 @deneuves @softestparker @davidbowiehotashell-blog @mocha-focha @piii-chan @v0dkadaddy @xxjosiexx

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rose-tinted-juls · 1 year ago

Text

holy shoot i wasn't ready for this. of course i couldn't wait to read it, not longer than 24h after finishing pt.2, i just needed to continue this story

1. this was INSTENSE intense. whoa. i need a cold shower now.

2. i have to address this first before going deeper into my commentary... WHO DO YOU LOVE??? i'm gonna be thinking about this for every waking second of my days until i can read further. (also why did the old ass conor maynard song with the same name start in my head bf of this line lmao)

3. carlos being so happy to see her in his clothing 😭 also how it feels natural for them to cuddle on the sofa and feeling safe warm and happy I'M NOT OKAY

4. NO NOT THE BLONDIE ARRIVING WHEN SHE LEAVES </3 why does every man have to break her heart???

5. when she wakes up to music playing in their house... i wanna wake uo to charles playing piano too :(( it's him right? -> later addition: it is him 😭

6. CHARLES BRAIDING HER HAIR AND CHANGING HER AND JUST BEING SO CARING 😭😭😭 i'm so torn btw these two men now idk how she manages to live 😭

7. "he'd clouded your emotions, nothing was black-and-white with your husband, just a cacophony of colors." such a gorgeous line, it pulls my heartstrings and makes me stupidly emotional. the writing talent!!!

8. "yet... he had given up his mistress for you. he'd given up something that made him happy because you were not." now THAT was phrased perfectly. honestly. so so so good.

9. pascale loving her so much 😭😭😭 it's curing me. helping me heal. <333 also, "she had grown to adore you; your mannerisms, laughter and the fact that you clearly held a candle for charles, despite the dwindling flame of the marriage." THIS LINE!!!! LEAVE SOME TALENT FOR THE REST OF US JAY THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!! oh and ofc let's not forget about "if she had a daughter, she'd want her to be just like you." i'm sobbing 😭

10. "hello beautiful" and "hello handsome" AHHHH SCREAMING CRYING also charles grinning even harder hearing this and even her being surprised she said that and him instantly loving it and forgetting everything (flower and dress) THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME

11. "something tells me that won't fit you, charles." this deserved its own mention bc i actually snorted reading this and i love a fic that achieves that in me

12. UH OH CARLOS PLAYING DIRTY NOW ARE WE jesus h roosevelt christ the scene in his driver's room is the death of me

13. charles winning a race made me actually get teary eyed and start sniffing bc i just want him to win something so bad finally that even if it's only in a fic i start crying in happiness 😭😭

14. carlos holding her to him when they are in public AND charles noticing it PAIN. for both of them.

15. i'm in such an inner conflict rn, idk really how she can cope bc this is hurting. this is painful. i love them both sm :'( part of me wants her to give charles a second chance and allow them to be a happily married couple but another part is telling me that charles played his chance and broke her in many ways and carlos was there for her always and she would be so happy with him and like WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE 😭

am i okay? no and yes. at the same time. no bc of this conflict in me and yes bc i could read this. SPEECHLESS. this talent of yours is truly out of this world, main spot in a fancy bookstore kind of perfect. i feel privileged to have read something like this story.

You Think, You Know | CL16 & CS55

Summary: Some bridges are due to burn, whilst others are destined to mend. Charles wants to lead you into a traditional happily-ever-after, whilst Carlos is still adamant that he can always treat you better. Part 3 of ‘A House, A Home.’

Word Count: 11.3k

Warnings: angst, shouting, a lot of swearing, mentions of cheating and divorce. SMUT. Non-protected sex, oral (M&F receiving,) squirting, degradation, aftercare always.

Note: Thank you all so, SO much for being so patient with me. I really wanted this to be something special and I hope you all enjoy it. Please don't get mad at me because this one is emotional. A massive thank you to my biggest cheerleaders, @oconso, @formulaforza, @a-distantdreamer & @silverstonesainz - I love you all so much.

PART 1: A House, A Home | PART 2: Where Do We Go? | PART 3: 'You Think, You Know'

You loved your sleep.

There was never too much that could wake you from your slumber. Currently, with the combined sensations of crisp sheets tucked across your frame, soft sunlight drawing through the transparent curtains of the bedroom and snug, strapping arms encircling your waist, it would have to be some form of miracle to awaken you.

The form of this came in the body pressed tightly into your back; smoothly, a pair of lips are drawn to your cheekbone, satin kisses being dropped against your skin. Was it possible to awaken to such a soothing interaction? Your face is drawn to the feeling, turning in his interlocked arms, the side of your face nuzzling into the cushion as your eyes meet the deep, dark pools of his.

“Good morning.” Carlos whispers, joyful at your rise from shuteye. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been lying there himself, simply basking in the pleasure of holding the girl of his dreams against his firm body. The man was constantly on a lifeline; each time you interacted with him, he’s certain it would be his last, that one day, you’ll be violently ripped from his arms and his heart.

Suspended in thought, the Spainard is drawn back to reality with the glowing touch of your palm on his skin. Immediately, one of his arms draws away from your waist, resting his own larger hand atop of yours. You look alluring like this; sleep still decorates your eyes, hair tangled from the deep sleep, yet perfect in every sense of the word.

“Morning.” You respond, allowing yourself to set your gaze upon his face for a little longer. It’s a sin, settling in your stomach at how that same face had lifted from between your leg’s mere hours ago, the remanence of your arousal ever-present atop his stubble. You were certain he had a mouth crafted by the angels, the way his lips had toyed with your most sensitive parts and the way they currently pulled into an enticing smile in the present.

Two bodies, two souls were entwined in that bed; you weren’t too sure how long you lay there alongside him, reveling in one another’s morning appearances. All you know in that moment is Carlos is overtaking your mind, sprinting through every vein in your body. Every unanswered question from the previous night rendered numb as the man leant forward in your touch, his lips gaining space on your own.

There’s a sudden, sharp buzz from the other room, causing you both to retract from one another, bodies deep in the king-size mattress. A chuckle leaves his own mouth, running a heavy hand across his face, heart still pounding from the sudden jump of sound in the silent apartment. Something in your heart told you that buzz was for you. Whining from the sudden loss of warmth, you remove yourself from the bundle of blankets and body heat, bare feet padding into his living room, aware of your mobile phone, resting atop of the counter.

The device gave a heavy buzz once more before you had the realization to pick it up, the battery barely there. You absent-mindedly call out to the man in the bedroom, asking if he had a phone charger you could borrow for a little while. There's clutter from the other room, clearly trying to find a space for your own phone. Whilst that incurred, your eyes flickered across the darkening screen, skin turning cold upon reading the text notifications.

02:51: Charles Leclerc

I’m in love with you.

02:53: Charles Leclerc

I’m so sorry she was there – I had no idea. She’s gone now, can I come and collect you? Where are you?

03:25: Charles Leclerc

Please let me know you’re safe as soon as you can. Can I come and see you in the morning, please?

08:47: Charles Leclerc

Good morning, my love. How are you feeling today?

Guilt washed through your stomach, not for the interaction you had shared with Carlos; Charles had done substantially worse to you for the past twelve months. No, you knew what it felt like to have no response from somebody you cared for, terrified for their well-being. Even when Charles hadn’t cared for you, you had still nursed him, waiting up for his return in the early hours of the morning.

With the remainder of your phone battery, fingers fly over the keyboard. Did you want your husband to come and collect you, specifically from his teammates home? He was aware of your building friendship with the Spainard, even if it wasn’t entirely platonic. There wasn’t a huge choice; you especially didn’t want to demand or pry a lift off Carlos, especially after he had come to collect you so late the previous night.

08:58: You

Good morning, I’m at Carlos’ place. I’d really appreciate a lift back to the house, if that’s okay.

The message barely had time to send before it’s marked as ‘read’. Immediately, the blue speech bubble pops to the lower corner of your phone, signaling a response was being formed.

09:00: Charles Leclerc

You don’t need to even ask. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes was not enough time to conceal everything which had happened in the previous hours. Feet now cold, legs now littered in goosebumps, you’d scrambled back into his bedroom, the man now on his own feet, those damn gray jogging bottoms hanging on his hips, a visible outline ever-present. It took your entire soul to remain strong, knowing how tempting this man could become in a matter of moments.

“Charles is on the way.” You state, suspecting that it would cease all his movements, and allow yourself to get ready for your husband’s arrival. Instead, he’d stepped closer to your frame, leaning his toned torso towards you, locking you in his muscled arms, hiding his face in the skin he’d licked and bitten across the previous night. His mumbles are incoherent, littering across your neck in broken Spanish. He’s saying something. Something you can’t understand but is undeniably a plea for you to stay in his arms.

Carlos stays pretty much attached to you the entire time you’re preparing for your departure; his body is pressed against yours, littering kisses to the crown of your head whilst you brush your teeth. His scent is so dominating on the hoodie he insists you borrow, slipping that atop of your frame whilst pulling on the bottoms you had wiggled out of the previous evening. The man’s heart explodes upon seeing you bundled into his clothing, a possessive streak striking through his body and soul.

When your bag is packed, face washed and phone charging, now on the counter of his kitchen, you spend the last few minutes waiting for your husband’s adamant arrival by bundling into Carlos’ side on his plush sofa. It feels entirely natural by this point; his arms encircle your waist, letting you lie against his sternum, soothing yourself to his naturally steady heartbeat. A snippet of your heart desires to take this sole moment and capture it for a lifetime. Safe. Warm. Happy.

The moment is wafted away from you both with the sudden rapping of knuckles on the front door. Whining, your eyes trail on the Spaniard, focused as he presses a final, fleeting kiss to your temple, pulls himself up from the couch and paces towards the hallway. Your own ears strain to hear the latch lift of the front door, Charles praises for looking after you the previous evening falling over his lips, two pairs of footsteps drawing into the front room.

Your husband, despite his usual god-like appearance, looked terrible. His hair pushed to the front, clearly in need of a wash and brush. His skin was rubbed raw, face bloodshot; clearly, he hadn’t got a single moment of sleep the previous night, still dressed in the clothes he’d traveled home in the previous night. Despite the heavy lids of his eyes, they still light up when falling onto you.

“Good morning.” He gives you a smile, only you. You can feel Carlos’ disappointment, even if you can’t see his eyesight at that moment. A pocket-sized smile from your own lips is offered in return, pulling yourself up in that moment, reaching for your bag which remained on the floor, slipping into your soft sneakers.

“Are you ready?” You’d asked softly. Charles’ mouth opened, hesitating before he spoke. He was thinking clearly.

“I just need to speak to Carlos quickly. Something…private.” He tries to explain his standings, tries to make you feel less awkward as he reaches for the car keys resting in his hoodie pocket. “Are you okay to wait in the car?” He asks softly. He feels in no power to demand your movements, yet he requires one private word with his teammate.

Your eyes don’t bother to meet Charles, instead immediately flying to meet the dark ones of your unofficial lover. What on god’s earth was your husband about to ask, and why did he want to do it out of your earshot? The look that you give the man says a thousand words, asking if he needs you to stay, hold your ground against Charles. The warm eyes of him give everything you need, silently promising he could handle this man. An entire conversation through looks alone, a skill the two of you had developed so naturally.

Silently, you take the keys from Charles’ outstretched hand, skin flinching when being pressed against the cool metal. You don’t so much as glance in his direction when you’re walking to the counter, picking up your phone and stuffing it into the pouch of your borrowed hoodie. When turning on your heel, you pace back to Carlos, pressing a surprising kiss to his right cheek, murmuring a ‘Thank You,’ just for his hospitality, of course. You had done all the thanking for the number of orgasms you were granted the previous night.

The walk towards your husband’s car, the SUV rather than his identifiable Pista, your mind clouded, clotted with an array of questions. Why did Charles need to speak to Carlos alone? Was he aware of the relationship the two had been sharing for an undefinable amount of time? Who on earth was the blonde woman giving you a death stare as she walked up the pathway to the complex, red lips practically hissing at your appearance, storming past you within half a second?

When you turn back to take in her appearance from behind, a sense of sickness settles into your stomach. You’d seen the back of that blonde head before; not in person, but rather on a phone screen. Your phone screen, held between white knuckles as you’d watched the man you had begun to fall for wrap his arms around another woman's lips meshed in a private nightclub, unaware of the multiple cameras capturing their searing moment.

That was the same woman, identical in her mannerisms. You felt your tummy curdle into pain, into your vague realization that the only reason Carlos had offered you a place in his home, and subsequently his bed that evening, was because he was trying to fill a void until she returned to the scene. Your stomach wanted nothing more than to empty its remaining content in sheer shock. Instead, you breathe deeply, unlocking the door to the car, climbing into the passenger seat and closing your eyes, relaxing into the plush leather of the upholstery.

You’re not sure how long your husband takes, eyes growing heavy as you await his return. It’s only realized when the driver’s door clicks open, rolling in your seat to watch as Charles climbs into his own, a frown resting at the bottom of his face. However, it’s immediately vanquished when his eyes latch onto your own, grinning at your presence, so close to him. A warm hand reaches out, brushing over the back of your head, sheerly enjoying the comfort you radiated. He'd been lost without you for the past twelve hours.

Your eyes begin to feel heavy again, though you’re determined to get through the car ride alert, even if the soft scent of his cologne and the gentle lulling tunes from the morning radio are drawing you back to your previous state. Instead, you think of that woman. No, not the mistress you had grown numb to; the blonde woman, the one pressed against Carlos’ chest and lips mere hours after you had been. The glint in your husband’s eye is telling as you go through your endless thoughts, he knows something.

“The blonde lady going into Carlos’ apartment.” Your voice is completely out of pocket, echoing through the front of the SUV. “Who was she?” There’s no beating around with the question you had asked; there’s no trying to sugar coat what you needed to know. Charles knows it, too. He knows he can’t hide the truth from you, you’re too smart for lies and manipulation, a year married with a mistress had taught him that.

Instead, he emits a deep sigh from his lips, knuckles tightening on the steering wheel as he focuses on the road. “Natasha.” The name falls from his lips, he can’t meet your gaze, not when speaking about another woman to his wife. “She used to work for Ferrari’s PR but left just under a year ago. Carlos and her used to-“

“Date?” You’d cut him off without realizing, eyes widening when he’d shaken his head.

“No, not date.” He responds. “They just had…a thing. Something.” He finished his train of thought, still not mentally ready to turn to you. In a comforting way, you were glad he hadn’t; Charles was unable to see the tears pooling at your lower lash line, the desire to rip off the hoodie now suffocating your body. You learnt in your heart that moment, you were apparently nothing special to Carlos. No, he had a thing. Something, with any woman who passed his way was as a wandering fancy.

The tears decorating your eyes and desire to relax into the leather seat eventually overpowers your emotionally drained body, pulling you back into a slumber.

You loved the sound of music.

A faint tune, one you were certain you’d never heard before lured through your ears, drawing you back to consciousness. You couldn’t remember getting home, let alone getting out of the car and tucking yourself into the comfort of your own bed. Groaning, you’d sat yourself up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and stretching the twinge in your back simultaneously.

The music wasn’t coming from your room; the sound was beautiful, you just needed to locate its source. Your feet twinge when they touch the floor, cool floorboards easing the temperature of your socks. Opening the ajar door to your bedroom, the music grows louder, sound clearly emitting from downstairs, your feet carry you to the staircase with no hesitation. However, when reaching the top of the staircase, eyebrows crease together in confusion, taking in your once-ragged appearance in the crystal mirror.

Your hair had been braided, albeit not elegantly, but at least out of your face, something you did almost religiously before sleeping. Your attire had changed, too, once you were dressed in Carlos’ sage hoodie. Now, your body was engulfed by Charles’ charcoal jumper, sleeves too long but an entire comfort for your drained mind. Is this what it felt like, to be nurtured and cared for by your husband? The pit of your stomach felt airy; this had been everything you desired for so long. And yet, now you had experienced somebody else, despite the heartbreak, your mind was utterly torn.

Music grows louder, your mind is suddenly focused back on its original target. With no hesitation now, you began to walk down the flight of stairs, noting your bag and phone resting by the front door. Even with as many notifications as you’d missed in your time asleep, priorities overtook, making your way towards the lounge, eyes transfixed on the figure by the French windows.

Charles Leclerc sat, comfortably and quietly, gentle fingers dancing over the keys of his piano. The soft lights of the room illuminated the figure, a tune you had never heard was fluttering around the open space.

Of course, you had heard him play the instrument multiple times; during his time spent at the house rather than on the track, he remained transfixed, creating new songs, finding some way to pour every emotion into some kind of melody. You’d lost track of the times you’d come downstairs to get a drink, put the washing into the machine and had instead pushed your body into the doorframe, eyes fixed upon your husband as he created the most beautiful sounds.

The last time you’d done that, his mistress had been present, leaving over the piano as Charles played her an elegant tune. When she had gone to lean over him, her own fingers wanting to press down against the keys, he’d rested a firm hand on her arm, insisting that she sit on the sofa and listen, instead. The sweet moments of silently viewing your husband had turned sour; you’d silently vowed that day you would never enter the room when he was playing again.

You’d broken that promise mere seconds ago, eyes transfixed upon your husband. You can feel the tension beneath his fingers, as if he’s trying to take the sheer thoughts of everything that had been embedded into his mind in the past twenty-four hours and mesh them into some kind of audible release. Underneath the layers of music, your footsteps can’t be heard as you hesitantly walk towards the end of the living space. His tune reaches a climax, but before the piano can take any more notes, you cough lightly, Charles’ hands ceasing in mid-air. Arching his body weight, he sees your frame standing next to his piano, eyes still sleepy from awakening mere moments ago. The breath catches in the back of his throat; did you always look so perfect in his soft jumpers?

“I’m sorry.” He eventually offers, taking in your sweet, soft appearance. “Did I wake you?”

“No, no.” The reply tumbles from your lips before you even realize. “It was…beautiful, actually. Is it a new piece?” You ask, entranced by the music which had been flowing freely.

“I’m not sure yet.” He can’t help but smile at the end of his sentence. “I just sort of started playing and this is what came of it.” The explanation is valid; like many creatives, sometimes a free flow form was the simplest way to go. His next movement is almost a shock to your system. “Why don’t you come and help me?” The offer is completed when he shuffles up on the piano stool, patting on hand on the available gap. There’s hesitation in your movement, before his hand trails upwards, leaning to clasp one of your own, guiding you towards the stool.

There’s an overpowering smell of his cologne, a scent you were slowly drawing yourself towards. The body heat from his frame radiates into your own. Shyly, you reach out, pressing down on one of the piano keys, a tone spouting from the instrument. Charles can’t help but smile upon your interaction, eyes questioning as you analyze the instrument.

“Do you know how to play?” He asks gingerly, watching as you shake your head in response. His actions exchange, resting one of his warm palms over your own. The next moments are filled with your husband guiding your hands over the piano, teaching you the tune to old nursery rhymes. When you reach the end of the piece, he cheers in delight at the achievement.

“Play me something now.” You ask carefully, head becoming heavy, heavy enough to rest on your husband’s shoulder. When you feel his body tense, you immediately sit back up, convinced you’ve overstepped a line. That thought is soon relinquished when Charles’ hand flies out, wrapping around the back of your head and pulling you back down to his shoulder, your breath hot on his neck, it’s enough for him, hesitant to overstep the boundaries you were adamant upon currently.

His fingers move back, continuing the song he had been conducting earlier. The piece had started out slowly, almost sad-like, before building, building towards a romantic counterpart. In his mind, it was the perfect song to punctuate the relationship he maintained with his wife. They both sat there, barely any moment as the music was the only sound present in their house.

When the song finishes, neither of you move, relishing in the soft touch you’re both sharing. Charles’ own head falls atop of your own, letting his cheek rest against your hair. There’s no form of time between you both, simply enjoying being alive, alive with one another. It’s interrupted when you feel Charles’ take an exaggerated breath, removing his keys from the piano. One of his hands rests upon his side, the other slides between the minute gap between you both, wrapping a toned arm around your waist. The movement causes you to lift yourself from his firm shoulder, catching those beautiful eyes from your glance.

“I’m traveling to Monaco tomorrow.” He says it so casually, as if it’s as normal as entering or leaving the building. You can feel his heart race in anticipation of what he was due to say, his body temperature raising dramatically, radiating through his hoodie. You offer him a warming smile. You really didn’t want him to leave, not when you were growing so unnaturally fond of his presence.

“Oh really, what for?” Is the eventual reply. In this moment, you simply can’t hold his eye contact, he’s staring into your soul, it’s as if he can sense every thought which is currently trekking through your mind; does he know how much of a hold he has on you, even if your marriage was entirely staged, at least in his eyes.

“I’m off to see my mother” He clarifies. “It’s been a while and I just want to check in.” It’s a lie. You can tell from the way his body language changes; his hands are suddenly clenching tighter, his grip on your waist firm as if he’s terrified, you’ll run away. He can’t admit it, he’s not strong enough. If you step away, he will fall back to the way he was the previous night; eyes bloodshot, unable to sleep unless he knows you’re safe.

“Give her my best.” The response is blunt, short. You’re on entirely different wavelengths, different planets. He never told you of his reasoning for things; a golden rule you had learnt at the beginning of this era. Just…you’d never question him; you would simply co-exist. What he says next makes your blood run cold.

“Why don’t you come with me? I’d really appreciate it.” Why on earth would your estranged husband want you to come on his travels, presumably when the entire point was to spend the entirety of it wrapped in the arms of another woman. Yet, a feeling in your stomach settled. Did you actually want to spend hours in this empty house alone? Now that Carlos was no longer a welcome distraction, anything would be better than wallowing in your silence.

“I will.” You eventually respond. “On one condition.”

“Anything.” His eyes are wide, so willing. He’d scooted tighter towards you, as if he could hold together this entire conversation, stopping the whole world from crumbling around you. You must be the one to take a deep breath this time. You had to remain firm with your choices, with what you needed to know.

“What was in the white envelope that your mistress gave you yesterday?”

You loved the glow of candlelight.

Having never entered Charles’ study, his fingers interlocked with your own as he guided you through the heavy door, you didn’t realize how many candles he had resting around his office. They laid upon his windowsill, on his desk, he even had a mulberry-scented candle resting next to his racing simulator.

There was only one candle which was lit, he had obviously forgotten to extinguish it whilst you were deep in your slumber. Despite the fact you hadn’t ever been given access to this room, you’d have to make a mental note in order to check for any fire hazards the next time you were in the building alone.

The envelope resting upon the desk stuck out like a sore thumb; his computer, stationary, it was all a cool gray tone whereas the envelope stuck out in a bright white glow.

“I need you to know before you look at this, it’s a lot worse than it comes across.” Even in the candlelight, his face had turned pale, barely able to keep his fear from dancing across his emotions. You need to remain strong. You need to see what was left in the envelope.

Staying firm, your grasp reaches out towards the desk, taking the card into your own hands. “I want to see it.” You clarified, letting your finger trace under the flap of the envelope.

You don’t let your husband’s words overpower you, distract you in any way. Instead, your hand reaches into the envelope and grasps around a stack of…something. It feels like multiple pieces of paper pressed together, though one side remains glossy, as if printed onto a special sheet. Hesitantly, your hand pulls from the envelope, eyes immediately widening upon seeing the content in question.

It's photographs. Multiple photographs of Charles and his mistress. Some of them are casual, taken from her phone, smiling selfies and dinner dates. Others are…compromising, verging on pornographic. You can feel the lump in your throat tightening, tears are forming on your lower lash line, but you must keep strong. You cannot show any weakness when you ask to see this.

“That’s her, isn’t it?” Your voice betrays you, weakening as your words continue. “Your…girlfriend.” You don’t want to use the other word; it’s clear from these photographs it was more than sex, it was more than just an escapade.

“She’s- she’s not anymore.” Charles pauses, his eyes don’t focus on the photographs, only on you. His wife, who he has hurt so badly and now must see the pain littered across her face. “She hasn’t been since your mother passed away.”

Your heart stops at the mention of your mother, a sharp spike of longing for the woman suddenly danced through your chest. Then, you were angry. How dare he pity you, you didn’t want it, not from him. But…you still wanted him. He’d clouded your emotions, nothing was black-and-white with your husband, just a cacophony of colors.

“That was your reason for dumping her. Sympathy?” You don’t care how harsh your voice comes across, instead just aggravated you were growing to care about his reasoning. Life had been simpler weeks ago, when you simply stayed at home, minding your own business whilst he got on with his. By the look on Charles’ face, he wasn’t expecting the hostility, either.

“No! I dumped her because it was wrong, because I have a loving wife who I would give anything for.” The room goes silent, giving you time to process the words that had come from his lips. You had been so certain for so long that he didn’t care about you; that everything he did was for his own gain and pleasure. Yet…he had given up his mistress for you. He’d given up something that made him happy because you were not.

Stressing, you run a hand through your hair, placing the photographs back into the envelope, speaking to your husband as you place the card back onto his desk. You feel sick. These photographs exist and it was a perfect way to destroy the two of you, it was perfect ammunition to a metaphorical pistol. “So, what does she want you to do with these photographs?”

“Nothing.” Charles leans over your own body, reaching for a second stack of papers resting upon the desk, one you had considered would simply be notes from Scuderia Ferrari. Warm seeps through your body at his close contact, one hand almost trailing against your back as he grasps to the stack of crisp sheets, barely touched. “She’s threatened to publish them if I don’t sign…this.”

You took the stack of ivory papers into your palms. It was sprawled with a size twelve font, you were uncertain of where to begin until two words in bold took your attention, printed formally across the top of the page.

“Divorce Papers.” Your voice is barely a whisper, heart dropping to your stomach.

“That’s the other reason I’m going to Monaco.” He’s explaining his own status now, eyes glassy with the fear of you walking straight out of the office. He wouldn’t blame you, of course. He couldn’t blame you for anything anymore. Charles reaches out to your grasp, wiggling the paper from your fingers and placing them back against the desk. “I’m filing for a lawsuit against her, a restraining order for manipulation and stalking.”

A scoff falls from your lips; the mere contrast of the events from a few weeks ago compared to now. He truly intended to file a lawsuit against a woman who he’d happily let warm his bed whilst you went to bed each night with nothing but regret and bloodshot eyes. “Do you…do you want a divorce?” You can feel your voice cracking. “I mean, if she’s sent you these, you must have mentioned wanting one-”

“I did.” Charles doesn’t miss a beat. “I mentioned how I didn’t want a divorce because despite everything…I do care for you.” The room goes silent, not even the flickering of the candle or the soft wind from the French windows can pierce the tone of the room.

A huff escapes your lips, arms resting by your side as you formulate a response; “You had a really weird way of showing it.” Your response is blunt, it clearly warrants the sad look on your husband’s face.

“I know. That’s why I’m going to make it right. Please come to Monaco with me. She won’t be there; you don’t have to come to the lawyer with me. But…I need to be able to come back to my wife.” His hand reaches out, cradling your own in this moment. Gently, he lifts your palm to his cheek, resting it upon his stubble and letting his lips trace a kiss across the soft skin.

He truly does know how to make your heart flutter, despite everything.

“Okay.” You eventually respond, focused on his gaze when his eyes turn wide in anticipation.

“Yeah?” His heart is picking up in happiness, reaching to hold you in his own grasp, but instead falling short when you raise a finger, ceasing his movements towards your body.

“But…you need to give me tonight, alone. To process that.” Gently, you take a step forward, leaning gently towards him. You can’t leave him, not before you gently press a kiss to his cheek, turning on your heel, your figure illuminated in the corridor by the soft candlelight. “Goodnight, Charles.”

“Goodnight, beautiful.��

You loved the feeling of warm water.

There is only a slender picking of moments in your life where you have felt truly relaxed; sitting by the lake in the rolling fields your family had owned for generations, lounging in the bed of the Madrid-Based apartment your friends had hired for a holiday in the early spring morning.

You had never thought one of those relaxing moments would be as your mother-in-law massaged her hands through your locks, lathering an expensive shampoo into the roots of your hair. She was gentle; no tangles fell through her fingers as her rhythm stayed perfectly relaxing, hitting all the spots which would send a flood of relief through your scalp.

You’d arrived in Monaco early that morning, immediately being transported to the luxurious hotel your husband had booked you into. Most of the trips he’d book you wouldn’t attend, and when you did would be ignored by him altogether. This time, he’d remained present, willing. Your hands had entwined the moment you had left the privacy of the jet, nestling into the back of the car, eyes heavy from the early rise.

Not much is remembered after you’d arrived outside the opulent building; bags were removed and transported to your room by the bellhop, both you and your husband were given hotel cards, an older lady at the desk explaining the functions dotted around the high-end establishment. All you could remember was the door to the room opening, your tired body making a beeline towards the emperor bed, nuzzling into the soft furnishings with sleep overtaking you in a matter of moments.

Charles hadn’t been able to help the tug on his heartstrings as he’d seen you tumble into the mattress. You’d been so thoughtful; dropping everything back at your house and accompanying him to Monaco, promising to be there for him as he promised to fix the wounds from his previous mistakes. He’d give anything to crawl into the bed alongside you, wrap his frame around your own and fall back into his own slumber, one he had despised the night before simply because he wasn’t able to hold you in his arms. He was learning to respect your wishes; after all, he had a lot of repairing to do-so. Even after recent conversations with his Ferrari counterpart, he could never bring himself to hate you.

His phone buzzes from his back pocket and upon inspection he sees the reminder, he’s due with his lawyer in less than forty-five minutes, but he doesn’t want to leave you, not alone. A thought sparks into his head, fingers flying through his contacts and dropping a message to one, asking if they could take you over to his mother’s salon later in the afternoon. By the time he’s returned from changing in the en-suite and brushing a comb through his hair, the responses from both Joris and his mother had lit up his screen, confirming his plans for later in the afternoon.

Your husband had allowed himself one more look at you, so peaceful wrapped up in the comfort of the bed. Silently, he leans over your frame, running a gentle hand across the back of your head, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your forehead, murmuring his sweet words to your sleeping form.

When you’d awoken, there was a message clarifying that Joris would be taking you to his mother’s salon a little later and he would come to collect you once he was finished with his lawyer. That’s how you had ended up walking into her salon earlier that afternoon, her delighted smile present after seeing her daughter-in-law.

Pascale wasn’t stupid, that much was clear. She was aware of the strain in her middle son’s marriage, just not to the extent that he had been toying with a mistress for the better part of a year. However, she had grown to adore you; your mannerisms, laughter and the fact that you clearly held a candle for Charles, despite the dwindling flame of the marriage. If she had a daughter, she’d want her to be just like you.

“Are you and Charles up to anything this evening?” Her voice is gentle, motioning for you to stand up from the basin chair and walk towards the mirrors, resting yourself in one of the seats. Your reflection bores back into you, focused as Pascale adjusts your head slightly, brushing the tendrils of hair through her comb.

“I’m not sure.” You respond. “I know he has some business this morning.” It’s an understatement. When Joris had collected you from the hotel, he’d tried to give you what information he could – Charles had arrived at his Lawyer’s office, ready to file the case against his mistress. He wasn’t too sure how long it was going to take, though he had told Joris to be on hand for anything you needed when he couldn’t.

“You make him happy; you know?” Pascale mentions, tilting your head to angle your hair correctly. “I know he hasn’t always been…the greatest.” You’re not sure if she’s aware of everything, but her tone seems to stand where you need it to do so, “but you make…such an impact in his life.”

Not much else is said whilst the woman continues to trim your hair, adjusting your face as she does so. It was nice, not to be cooped up into a hotel room for the entirety of the day, nor to be sitting in Charles’ driver room whilst he walked around, finger entwined with his mistress. You’re so engrossed in Pascale drying your hair, setting the locks into soft rollers that you don’t realize when the door chimes open, another figure entering the quiet salon. The woman’s eyes brighten, and you hear her cooing before your own face turns, taking in the figure of your husband in the doorway.

Charles looks breath-taking. He’d clearly showered and changed since you had last seen him bundled in his travel gear that morning. Your deduction would be correct; the man had hastily returned to the hotel to jump into the shower, changing into a power blue shirt and white trousers. His hair, free of styling products curled in an unruly way, one that made his whole face structure elevate.

In his hands, he held both a soft white dress over his arm, one you had packed in your case fleetingly the evening before; it had been steamed and washed, the fabric clear and petticoats of the skirt floating gently. In his other hand, a vibrant bouquet of roses. His smile never faded, walking over to his mother and pressing a kiss to each of his mother’s cheeks. Once his attention turns towards you, his eyes only brighten.

“Hello, beautiful.” You can’t tell whether he’s playing up the affection in front of his mother, or whether it’s genuine. However, when one hand comes to rest on your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He’s being respectful; making sure not to cross a boundary.

“Hello, handsome.” The response falls from your lips without realizing, the grin on your husband's face only rising. Fuck. Did you mean to say that? Regardless, you had done, and by the look on his face he not only didn’t expect it but had instantly grown to love it. Charles had completely forgone the flowers in his grasp, only remembering them after your eyes had darted down towards his palms.

“Oh-“ His mind finally catches up with the present situation, raising his hand to present you with the flowers. They’re colors are soft, delicate, as if etched by crayon. You can’t help but smile at the gesture, even if it was entirely a false pretense in front of his mother. You can’t see her face, but you know she’s smiling, seeing her son present to his wife in such a sweet manner. Now, your gaze isn’t fixed against the flowers in your grasp, but the dress from your suitcase.

“Something tells me that won’t fit you, Charles.” You tease the garment laying over his forearm, only to cause a smile to appear on his lips again.

“I want to take you out for the afternoon. If that’s okay with you.” His voice is low now, hoping to avoid any prying of the conversation from his mother, though her attention was now turned to locating the hair dryer, still needing to complete your own treatment. “Would that be…okay?” He’s nervous. Fearful that after everything, you could now reject him and feel no remorse.

You’re not a cruel person, it has never been in your nature. Instead, you match his own smile, nodding as you take the garment from his grasp, Charles’ eyes widening in confirmation.

“Trust you to pick out my favorite dress, too.” You mumbled.

You loved the sound of the ocean.

You loved everything about the sea, truly. The reflections from the moonlight caused shards to reflect over Charles’ boat; the new yacht had barely had time to stretch the waters, though it seemed to float as if it had been nurtured its entire existence.

The afternoon of a late lunch had expanded into expensive, late-night wine on the boat as your husband had guided you into deeper waters. He knew what he was doing, after all; the waters of Monaco were a comfort to him, a lifetime had stretched out from jumping into the ocean as a child to yacht parties during the Grand Prix.

You’d seemed entirely at home, and it made his heart warm. Charles wasn’t a stupid man; he saw how you kept yourself small, your setup at the house barely spanning over two rooms. He’d wanted nothing more than to break the walls you had put up for oh-so-long and entwine your lives together.

Then he would reprimand himself, remind himself he was the sole reason those walls existed.

Conversation had spanned naturally into the events of the day; you thanked him for thinking of you, he’d responded with a mention of you deserving that form of treatment every single day. Your mind can’t take the anticipation; when your lips lift from the glass of wine, you can’t help but ask what his lawyer had recommended about his mistress. Your husband’s grin had fallen a little, running a hand through his dark curls.

“It’s a difficult one.” He explains. “There’s enough there for a case, considering we haven’t had contact in a while. But…” He doesn’t need to finish his sentence; you do for him.

“The photographs are counted as evidence.” You finish, and he can only nod. He’s created such a mess, something he could never forgive himself for doing so. A web of lies and mistreatment surrounded you both; he so wanted to break each thread and simply cradle you, be in a bubble for the rest of eternity.

He’s expecting you to stay silent, then. Maybe that’s where the evening should have ended, with silence upon the realization that this case will not be easily solved. Instead, you place the glass of wine down on the ledge of the stairs, easing his own glass from his grasp. Charles is confused, even more so when you walk back towards him, wrapping your arms to close around his neck.

“What are you doing?” He whispers. His hands raise hesitantly, as if touching you would break you into a million pieces. His grasp only falls to your waist when you press closer towards the man, resting your gaze on his own eyes. He’s hurt you, broken you to such an extent, and yet you can’t help but draw closer to his touch, to his eyes.

“Being your wife.” You respond, before pressing your lips to his own. This is the first time, the first time in so long that you had been the one to initiate a kiss. Naturally, Charles’ hands wrap tighter around your waist, pulling you into his chest, deepening your touch, your kiss. This. This is the moment he wishes to bottle forever, to live in the comfort of his wife’s touch, no outside means, no other commitments being hung over his head.

You’re not sure how long you both stand there, wrapped in one another, hands fleeting over each other, desperate to find some touch, some form of skin. It isn’t until your fingers reach to unbutton the top of his powder-blue shirt, that his own come to rest atop of yours. He knows he’s made a mistake when he sees the look you shoot him, immediately assuming the worst.

“No, no.” He promises, both hands flying from where they had grasped yours, cradling each side of your face. It feels…warm. It feels so similar to the way Carlos had cradled your head once, when you were both on a boat, much like this. You think of those dark eyes, the whispers drawn into your ear as he had sharply thrusted into you that evening. Then, you think of the blonde appearing outside his apartment mere hours after you had been tangled in his arms.

“I want to.” Charles’ words draw you from your endless train of thoughts. “Sweetheart, I want to more than anything, but I need you to know how much it means-“

You don’t let him finish; instead, you press your mouths back together, forcefully. There are whispers from your own lips, pleading that he take you, that you want nothing more than to feel your bodies atop of one another.

And who is he to deny his wife?

You’re not sure when he scoops you up into his arms, guides you inside of the boat and to the soft bed that had been freshly made mere hours ago, but he never lets your lips leave one another for less than a moment.

He’s everywhere; he’s pressing into you in the most delicious way, he’s drawing your body of the most intense sounds, and then you’re coming, harder than you ever thought was possible, it hits you in the most delicious way.

Your fingernails pressed crescents into his skin as he continued to push into you with that perfect rhythm. Feeling your hot breath dance against the shell of his neck, the sweet whimpers of your overstimulated orgasm falling from your lips. Charles feels you clench around him, dragging you into him deeper, and it's all over.

His head immediately falls into the joint of your neck and shoulder, his pants getting heavier, thrusts rougher as he chases his own release. Teeth escape from his lips, biting down atop of the red marks he'd left earlier in a passion; the gasp you let-out, the roll of your hips against his own pushes him over the edge, a moan falling out from his own lips, hands flying to grip at your forearms pinned above him. You can feel every inch of him buried inside of you, warmth spilling into you.

Heavy hips press into yours, your thighs still pressed around his waist when he lifts his head from the warmth of your skin, pressing one final deep kiss to your lips, a profanity of words escaping from his mouth.

He kisses you again. And again. He keeps doing it whilst slowly rocking his hips, still jittering from his own orgasm. Senses come through, those eyes you had been entranced in so many times fixing to your own, drinking you in, looking so beautiful underneath his own frame.

"You still want somebody else?" The teasing is natural, almost, inflicting you to roll your eyes and playfully push his arm. God, your laugh is the most adoring sound in the world to him, it had been so long since he'd heard it, even then, it had never been due to his own actions until recently. The adorned look in his eye is soon replace with confusion when he feels you wiggle underneath him, soft blankets rubbing against your back.

"Are you going somewhere?" He questions, one hand coming up to trace against your jawline. You want to lean into his touch, it's something you'd been attracted to recently, though the mess between your legs and sweat trailing down your skin seemed to tell you something different.

"I need to clean up." You whine, pressing your body into the plush mattress. "I'm all gooey, Charles."

"I've got it." He murmurs, pressing one soft kiss to your cheek, another to your neck. You expect the weight from above to release you, but the warmth radiating from his body remains. You feel lips trace against your chest, his untamed curls tickle your stomach as he traces down a direct line.

"What are you doi-" You never get to finish you question, the fourth word cut off with a soft gasp, those lips which had pressed to yours, now pressing down against your clit, a soft praise towards your body whilst his tongue traced around the sensitive bud, drawing a slice through your wet lips, pressing deeper and deeper into your entrance.

The room is illuminated with your whines, hips bucking against his stubble as he fulfills his promise of cleaning you up.

You loved the feeling of being held.

You’d been unfathomably happy to walk into the paddock that evening, fingers interlaced with Charles’ as he guided the two of you through the fans and photographers alike, buzzing to be starting on Pole Position when his wife would be watching in awe of his achievement.

You hadn’t been there on qualifying day; you were still trying to keep your distance where you could, to prove to your husband he couldn’t instantly win you back overnight. It had only been when he’d come into the en-suite of your room the evening before, hands wrapped around your waist as he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, pleading you came to watch him race the following night.

“I’ll win.” He promises, voice quiet as he rests his chin on your shoulder. “I’ll win it for you.”

His sweet words had not only lured you to the race track the following day but had also drawn you to sleep in his bed that evening, curled up into his toned chest as he murmured words of appreciation in French; only a few you were able to pick up and understand the meaning of as you drifted into a comfortable sleep, arms cradling your body underneath the bed sheets.

There was a collective, loving aura that evening when the two of you had stepped into his garage, the team in awe of seeing that their Prince of Monaco and his beloved Princess had been reunited, here to support one another. However, one figure remained quiet, eyes transfixed on your every movement. He felt his knuckles turn white when Charles had changed into his race suit, placing his cap atop of your own head and had lovingly pressed two kisses to either of your cheeks.

Carlos Sainz was a jealous man; he’d been infuriated when his blonde fling had appeared on his doorstep, instantly realizing the kind of man he must have been made out to be when you’d seen her appear on your departure. He’d hoped and prayed you hadn’t seen her, but from the radio silence he received over messages and calls, to the way you had purposely avoided speaking to him when arriving in the paddock, he could tell you were not that naive.

Emotions had played a heavy part on both of the Ferrari Pilots during the start of the race. One, determined to keep his promise and win whilst his wife was present. The other was so clouded with sadness and rage that all he wanted to do was push his counterpart off the track. The lights snapped off, 20 engines revving in unison as the cars blitzed down the first straight.

It doesn’t take long for emotion to overcome; Charles’ P6 soon creeps towards a P3, whilst Carlos begins to drop. A violent turn into Oscar Piastri not only takes the young rookie out of the race, but the Ferrari driver, too. Nobody misses the swears as he switches the engine off, nor the scowl on his face as he removes the steering wheel, ready to be escorted back to the garage.

When the blur of red comes through the paddock, you can’t help but feel guilty, telling yourself that if you had spoken to him, he would have been able to keep a cool head. Silently, you slip the headphones from your temple, murmuring about going to the bathroom before taking a direct beeline towards Carlos’ room, catching the door just before it’s due to slam closed.

He was seething. Pure rage flicked across his eyes; the warm smile reserved for you replaced with a harsh scowl. This may have been a mistake.

“What do you want?” His words are venom, spit towards you. He cannot stand to see you right now.

“I just-“You pause, clearing your throat. “I wanted to check if you were okay.” It’s a pathetic answer, really. One that didn’t sit right in your mouth, even after you had spoken.

“I’m alright?” He scoffs, shaking his head. “You ignore my calls, go away and fuck that pathetic man and then come back to me?” He’s pissed, undoubtedly so. “You whore. I understand it all now.” He shakes his head, missing the fire which had begun to burn in your own stomach.

“You have no right!” You’d shrieked so loudly you’d startled yourself; one finger was still pointed into his infuriated face, your finger mere millimeters from the bridge of his nose. Hot air engulfed both of your bodies, the only sound present was the deep and heavy breathing flaring from your nostrils.

Without a thought, Carlos had slapped your finger away from his face, lunging forward dramatically to seize your face into his rough palms. His lips are on yours, roughly seeking the wet trace of your tongue. You can’t fight him; not when his lips feel so flawless against your own. A rough palm encases the back of your neck, the other wrapping around your waist as he holds your frame tighter against his own.

Your breath barely had a moment to catch when he forcefully pulled his lips from you, emitting a white from your breath. That innocent sound is soon replaced by a sharp gasp, his fingers tightening against your scalp, pulling on your locks.

“Don’t fucking whine.” He spits, ghosting his lips over your own, never letting them touch yours. Warm breath tickles the shell of your ear when his grip pulls tighter onto your hair, tiling your ear to meet his mouth. “I’m sick of your whining, about your horrible excuse for a husband. I will treat you how you should be treated.”

There’s no time to react as his pink tongue pokes from his lips, a stripe tracing from the corner of your ear, across the sweetest spot of your neck. You’re reveling in the wetness, the sinful way his words litter through the air before teeth sink into your skin. He doesn’t bother to cover your mouth, mute the sweet sounds falling from your lips. There’s no decency anymore, Carlos doesn’t care who sees the marks he engraves into your skin. The ring on your left hand means nothing more than a reminder that he could be better.

“Carlos-“ You struggle to connect the two syllables together, hands gripping through his hair, pulling at the brown locks in your fingers. “Fuck-“

“What did I just say?” He grunts from the valley of your neck, one hand sliding from your waist and flying out, smacking on your clothed butt. The shock simply causes you to gasp out loud, pushing your own throbbing crotch into his hard one. A smirk forms against your neck, clear as day when the man pulls himself from your neck. His lips are wet, saliva from his own mouth tracing around your lips.

One hand finds your face again, grasping at your chin tilting your head backwards to hover below his own. A single finger taps at your lips, signaling for you to open wide for him. He’s sinful as he lets his spit fall across your lips, eyebrows raised as he wraps a hand around your throat, clearly overpowering your stance in this moment.

“Swallow.” He commands, hand resting on your cheek firmly. The tone of his voice sends a shock of energy down your chest and between your legs, cunt throbbing at his words. Of course, you comply, swallowing the remanence he had given you. “Good girl.”

The sweet nicknames in this moment have evaporated; Carlos is nothing short of animalistic, his presence all too understanding as one hand takes its place around your neck, the other grabbing firmly onto your wrist as he guides you backwards, softly falling onto the sofa of his driver’s room. The pitying looks the man gives you sends a thousand messages through your brain.

“No, no. Dirty little girls don’t get to sit on my sofa.” He teases, both hands clasping your waist, sliding you off the plush furnishings and resting on the cold floor, kneeling for the Spaniard. “You need to be on your knees, you need to be taught how to behave.”

Eyes widen as his tanned fingers pull at the knotted arms of the fireproofs resting on his waist. Even through his underclothes, the shape of his hard length is clearly visible, even more so as he removes his underlayers and briefs, letting himself spring freely, one hand rubbing his shaft a few times, the other knotting in the back of your hair.

He loves this; cock in his hand as he taps the tip against each of your cheeks, trailing himself against the parting of your lips, having to hide the shiver from his own body when the wetness of your mouth. His eyes are sparkling when he uses his firm cock to press through your mouth, relishing in the warmth of your lips wrapping around his length.

“That’s it, be a good girl. Take it.” He coos as you struggle to take more of his length, attempting to give small, tentative licks to his cock whilst he slides between your lips. It sends him feral, wild. He thinks of nothing else as both hands grip tightly in your hair, shoving your face into his crotch, your gags music to his ears as he continues to take control of the situation.

When your eyes adjust, look up from his groin, he almost feels sorry for you. They’re wide, glassy, snuffles falling from your lips as he continues his forceful attack. One hand slowly removes itself from the strain on your locks, tracing over your cheek, thumb rubbing underneath your eye, removing the salty tears as your breath remains heavy through your nose.

“Oh, poor baby.” He teases, pace never relenting. “This is what you need, someone to put you in your place, remind you what you deserve for teasing me, making me jealous.” He can’t help but chuckle at the pathetic sound coming from your lips. He can feel his stomach tightening, the warmth drawing an imminent release from his cock. This isn’t how he wants to finish, he can’t yet.

Your mouth feels empty when he pulls out, giving you no warning, the gasps falling from your lips at the sudden gain of air. He doesn’t give you time to respond, a heavy hand pushing your front to the floor, lifting your hips, ass straight back in the air. No warning, the skirt of your dress is lifted, the wetness of your cunt seeping through your panties. The anticipation kills you, until a warm finger slides into your folds with no warning. Your body can’t help but react, clenching around the warmness without even realizing. You also don’t realize the sounds you’re making, until the finger removes itself, a palm harshly smacking on your behind.

“What did I say about noises?” He grunts, leaning around to push the wet finger into your own mouth. “Do you like it? Taste what I do to you?” Hurriedly, he presses his finger in and out of your lips a few times before returning it to your wet hole, wiggling in the air. This time there’s two; stretching you out, your palms trying to find anything to grip, to hold on to as he carelessly thrusted, tickling a sweet, sweet spot deep in your stomach.

“I- Carlos I can’t-“ You whine through raspy breaths. He can feel you clenching, swelling around his fingers, and is rewarded when he hastily pulls them out of you, a long moan and a squirt of arousal pushing from your cunt. A sheer shock of arousal floods between his own legs, rubbing his fingers against your wet folds, letting your wetness trail onto the tips of his hand.

“Oh, your husband can’t make you do that, can he?” He’s proud; proud he’s able to draw such a reaction from your body. “Come on, baby, up we get.” His arms are suddenly firm, present around your waist as he pulls you to stand on two shaky legs, still reveling in the feeling he had granted you moments ago.

Hands retract from your waist and come to hold your face, pressing kisses to your scarlet lips as he guides you from a standing position towards his couch, finally allowing himself to sink into the cushions. You want nothing more than to join him, feel his warmth and aura around your own body, but by the finger he’s raised as he situates himself into the sofa, you can tell you’ll have to wait.

The moment he sits down, a tanned hand comes to his crotch to rub his length a few times, your eyes widening as you plead for it; mind clouded by lust, all you want is for something warm to fill you up, make you feel as good as he had done so many times before. Carlos’ finger beckons for you to join him, and you know what he’s insinuating.

Your movements are commanded by the Spaniard; immediately, there are two firm hands on your body, pulling you into his touch and sinking you down onto his cock. You don’t miss the way his lips quirk into a grin, oh-so-happy to see your reaction to the pleasure he had granted you. It’s no match for when he starts moving, bouncing you up and down on his lap, fallen gasps from your lips as your faces draw closer and closer.

You were sinking into one another’s skin; he wanted nothing more than to entwine your bodies for eternity. One hand was firm around your waist, guiding your movement with the strength only he could. The other guided a gentle trace across your face, pulling you closer, closer to his own face as his thrusts got faster, erratic.

“You’re mine.” He grunts, never once breaking eye contact as his hips grew tighter, his cock making your cunt squeeze in a way you didn’t know was physically possible. “You’ve always been mine, tell me you’re mine.”

His eyes go soft, thrusts pausing for a second as he notes the tears pooling in your eyes from the sheer euphoria running through your body. A whine falls from your lips as you feel his strong hand tug at your neck, pressing your foreheads towards one another, hips slowing for just a moment, letting your breath catch up to your aching body.

“I’m yours.” You’d whisper, mind clouded. You were his. There could be a thousand cars, an ocean or a wedding band between the two of you and you would still always find your way back to Carlos. Whatever that relationship would form, you would always be a part of him.

The murmured confirmation was enough to send a shot of energy through his spine, his thrusting becoming deeper, passionate. It barely takes five thrusts before he’s groaning, throwing his head back and letting out a low moan as he spills himself into you. The warmth is enough to send your cunt into flutters, clenching so tightly as your body falls into his chest, whining as you feel a gush of wetness drip onto his crotch.

Undoubtedly, Carlos Sainz is now a part of you. Time seems to flicker between seconds and minutes, at some point you’ve shifted your weight, turning around to fix your eyes onto the television screen of his room, eyes wide as you watch your husband continue to battle out on the track. It felt almost sinful; watching Charles battle for his podium whilst his teammate stayed buried inside of you.

His touch goes soft; one hand remains tight around your waist, though your back is warmed by the way you’re pulled back into his skin. Feather-Light kisses dance across your shoulder, he’s never been this soft, cradling you as if the world would be held together by your content. If the universe was to implode, he would be happy with the fact you were pressed into him in that very moment.

The laps of the race begin to dwindle; a promising second-place is looking pretty much secured for Charles. You’re certain that your silver trophy will be sitting proudly in the hotel room later that evening, until Max Verstappen suddenly begins to slow down, commentators beginning to roar as an unexpected engine issue splutters into the RB19.

“Holy shit.” Carlos murmurs, sitting up from his relaxed position, both arms now tightly around your waist as he shifts the balance of your bodies. “What happened to Max?” His voice becomes a murmur, your attention drifts, focused on the cars beginning to pick up their speed against the current world champion.

Goosebumps litter your skin, you immediately pull away from the warmth of Carlos, eyes wide as you see the scarlet red car glide into view. He’s going to overtake Max. Not only that, but your husband is about to win the entire race.

An audible groan comes from both of you when you slip yourself off his length, searching around for the panties which had been discarded oh-so-long ago; the man rests a hand on your shoulder, one hand tracing across your jawline as the other reaches down, gently smoothing the skirt of your long dress.

“We’ll find them later. We need to go and congratulate your husband, after all.” You can’t miss the cockiness in his voice, still content with the fact his cum is buried deep inside your pussy, panties are left in his driver’s room as a sheer prize for being able to make you feel euphoric. A tinted blush decorates your cheeks as he slips into his old jeans and a Ferrari polo shirt, one hand resting on the small of your back as he guides you out of his driver’s room, never once bothering to fix his hair when you had been the one to grab onto it so tightly.

People wouldn’t think that of him, after all.

You love to be loved.

Your eyes are brimming with tears as you reach Parc Fermé, Carlos finally catching up with you, standing right behind you at the barrier, eyes transfixed onto his teammate, standing atop of his livery, cheering towards the endless roars of the crowd, passing a congratulatory message towards his fellow drivers, Lewis patting his back, Lando cheering on his behalf.

He’s already removed his helmet when he sprints towards his team; the losses don’t matter, not when he can celebrate the win he had been craving for so, so long. There are praises passed, pats on the back as he works his way down the winding line of his team, red in their clothes and their cheeks, it means the world to everybody.

And then, Charles is facing you, his wife. He’s so transfixed upon your gaze, the sheer elation you have for his victory that he doesn’t stop to think when he takes two of his hands on either side of your face, cradling your cheeks as he presses his lips to yours, grinning into such a sweet kiss that you can’t help but kiss him back.

“I told you.” He whispers when he pulls away from you, resting a gentle hand on your cheek for just a moment. His eyes finally turned to where his teammate was standing. Both of them have to forge a smile as they reach out to clasp hands, a firm grip in celebration of scoring points for their team.

You don’t see him again, not until he’s left the cool-down room and is bounding towards the podium. Carlos, having not been called to his post-race interview yet, still stood behind you, though one hand had snaked its way around your waist, as if it had to be there. Nobody notices, of course. The team is too focused upon their driver lifting his golden trophy, in awe of the achievement they had built for seemingly the entire season.

Charles doesn’t miss it, of course. Maybe that’s why his gaze is so fixed on you when he releases a splash of champagne, purposely aiming his bottle towards the man behind you, his heart only crushing further when he sees the Spaniard pull your frame behind his own in protection.

And then, it’s all over. Both Carlos and Charles are rushed away to complete their post-race interviews. You’re left alone, simply taking a slow walk towards the Ferrari Hospitality. Even as you pace through the crowds, you can’t help but feel…sick. Dizzy. Out-of-body.

You cared for your husband greatly, and somewhere during it all, you believed his apology was genuine, that he truly wanted to fix the previous mistakes of the year. But how long would his tether last until his mistress came trailing back, regardless of a court ruling?

And Carlos. The sweet man who had proved to you time and time again, you were worth more than a simple name on a piece of paper. He’d been your soul, you truly were set to drop an entire marriage to live in his arms until his blonde counterpart came along, a knife to the chest after one of the most intimate nights you could fathom.

Your breathing gets faster, the world begins to turn on an axis. From somewhere, you hear a voice asking if you’re okay, if you need help getting back to the hospitality. And then, the world goes black, your body slumps to the floor of the paddock, with only one sentence drifting through your unconscious mind.

Who do you love?

This is everyone who asked to be tagged! @Mac-daddy-210 @aundercover @barnestatic @omgsuperstarg @chimchimjiminie16 @caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @magicalcowboyarbiter @gaslasysblog @junetto @beatrizmel-472 @motorsp0rt @crowdthena @screemqueen @lewislvr @styles-sunflower @itspaddockprincess @adeptustemptations @amalialeclerc @meetmyblondemuffins @formulanando @lorarri @christianpulisic10 @gaypoetsblog @thisbitxhs-blog @goldsainz @ru-kru @magical-spit @hrlzy @nooshytushie @gaslysainz @marvel-at-stucky @sugarvibez @adeptustemptations @roseseraj @leclercdream @pjofics @hecatesfavoritechild @poseforme @thisbitxhs-blog @adalynneva @meganlikes2purr @sabrinaselina55 @laneyspaulding19 @heavenlyiecreature @pink-teddy-bear @nooshytushie @strawberries-and-racing @milasexutoire @ohthemisssery @florkt @obsessedwiththeideaofyou @ru-kru @myhomeworksnotdone @ineedafictionalman @bregarc @allywthsr @summerslike11 @wildcupcake @willowpains @marlenamallowan @leclercloml @katzenwahnsinn @be-your-coffee-pot

#juliana's fic rec #my fanfic commentary #my fave fanfic #cl16 fic #cs55 fic #f1 fic #JESUS H ROOSEVELT CHRIST

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moon-ursidae · 2 years ago

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GAME SESSION 2 RECAP

game spoilers and spoilers for the hbo series below the cut!!

hours played: (with MANY breaks) roughly 11 hours🥴

alright i ate WAYYYYY too much ramen at lunch haha then i had some coffee and watched some comfort videos before i go back in!!

i also have my dog next to me to keep me company this time haha

okay! so i left off where i was about to go into the town to find bill!

i know there’s a bloater coming up here soon and i’m SO SCARED

i’m so mad i wasted my shivs on those 2 clickers and then there’s a door that you can only get open w a shiv AND I CAN’T MAKE ANYMORE GODDAMNIT

the dialogue between joel & ellie about the arcade game was really cute :)

again, checking every nook and fucking cranny for supplies praying that i can get back to that door

FUCK WHERE’S THE SAFE COMBO?? PROBABLY IN THAT GODDAMN ROOM FUCKKK

I GOT IN THE DOOR! lots of supplies but no dice on the combo :(

FOUND IT! fuck yea supplies🕺🏻🕺🏻

today i’ve learned that i’m a horrible shot in this game LMAO

bro ellie is F E R A L

bill: “you better stay right on my ass” “can’t miss it” THE WAY JOEL GRABS HER AND SAYS “knock it off” IS SO DAD OF HIM LMAOOOOOO I AM CACKLING

as of right now, i kinda like bill. he’s exactly what you’d think someone would be like if they were surviving on their own. and he’s clearly smart bc he has a whole ass town covered in traps and barbed wire. very resourceful. a valuable ally

i also like that he and ellie are extremely sassy and sarcastic toward one another and joel is just like 🙄

can i get some fucking slack plz w all these runners and clickers LMAO

i’d honestly rather deal w clickers tho than any other infected

this house looks a lot like clementine’s house from the telltale walking dead game!! i wonder if it was on purpose👀

also was lowkey hoping for an uncharted 2 marco polo reference in the pool. darn :/

OKAY THE JOURNAL UPSTAIRS WAS A LIL TOO REAL. brought back some pandemic flashbacks.

ellie trying to apologize about tess :(

and then he said “ellie you don’t have to worry about me” UGGHH MY HEART. such a goddamn dad.

oh fuck it’s the school

BLOATER TIME OH FUCK

BLOATER DEAD. I AM SWEATING PROFUSELY

poor frank and bill dude :(

THE TRUCK! AHH

also sorry but bill’s reaction to frank’s note was kinda funny to me “fuck you too”

THE OPTIONAL DIALOGUE W ELLIE STOP 🥹

“you’re doin a good job” and she said “i won’t let you down with this” AHHH🥺

the similarity between some of joel’s mannerisms and some of pedro’s from previous roles is CRAZY

OMG after she showed the comic she stole from Bill the way joel just sighs and asked “what did ya get?” in an exasperated tone💀

NOT THE PORNO MAG💀 “get rid of that!”

PLZ THIS IS SO FUNNY “why are they all stuck together?” joel just like “um.” i bet in his head he’s like ohmyfuckinggodhowdoiexplainthistoa14yearoldgirl

“i’m not even tired” *instantly cuts to her passed tf out* 💀💀

omg the iconic scene where she’s looking out the window slay

oh my god we’re getting to parts of the game that they’ve been filming!! i’m interested to see what the truck crash into the store looks like in post!

also the music playing while they were attacking the truck was badass

people are almost as scary as the infected bro. this garage full of stuff? disturbing that PEOPLE did this.

joel was a hunter???? holy shit bro

i’m wondering if it was soon after the apocalypse?? to get his anger out about what happened to sarah? or maybe he didn’t have a choice in the matter? i’m very curious to learn more about that.

i knew joel was a complex character but goddamn. this man has been through the fuckin ringer

“keep your voice down.” and she fucking mocks him going “okay” in a deep gruff voice I LOVE HER

okay i’ve had enough of these damn hunters bro goddamn

okay so i already forgot some things haha i took a break to eat

her acting like a hotel guest at the counter🥺 so cute

THE JOKE BOOK!!! MAKES AN APPEARANCE!!! YEEEEEAAAAA

“what’s not right?” “left?” I LOVE THAT JOEL GOES ALONG WITH IT

they’re so cute i would die for them

goddamnit i knew there would be SOMETHING soon. more hUnTeRs

i would like out of this hotel lmao i hate enclosed combat zones. the one’s outside are nicer

I FUCKIN KNEW THAT ELEVATOR WAS GONNA COLLAPSE FUCK JOEL OH MY GOD

i don’t like when they’re seperated i’m scared :(

i haven’t been alone this whole time and that is what has kept me sane and playing the game LMAO

i very much don’t like the sounds down here

I FUCKING HATE THIS OOOOOO I HATE IT VERY MUCH DOWN HERE

is this the hotel basement meme?

like from the vanity fair lie detector video?

my face is fucking RED i am very much hot and sweaty

oh god i thought the underwater part was what people meme’d about. i’ve only seen spores but that’s a sign bro.

I FUCKING DID IT. HOLY FUCK. MY HEART IS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA THROW UP. I GOTTA TAKE A BREATHER LMAOOOO

oh thank fuck back to dealing with people thank god dude

oh my god is this ellie’s first kill? joel’s being kind of an ass about it. i’m glad ellie’s laying it on him. YEA TEACH HIM TO BE HUMBLE ELLIE

i feel so fucking bad for ellie dude. there’s an immediate shift in her body language as well. she’s like folded in on herself after joel was a shithead. and oh yeah her first fucking kill is at 14??? and joel is like dismissing her?? i oughta smack the shit outta that boy

i mean i kinda feel bad for both bc i feel like joel is trying to navigate this without getting attached bc he lost sarah. he knows he’s gonna have to seperate from ellie at some point. maybe he’s trying to fight the paternal instinct to get super attached to ellie bc of that? and obviously ellie is going through it. everyone’s after her, she has to keep her immunity secret, she just killed a man, and joel is being a dick. i just wanna hug both of them :(

oh my god and now him teaching her how to handle a rifle UGGGHHHH dude i’m gonna CRY

and she just killed more people🥺 ELLIE I’M SORRY HONEY

she looks so fucking guilty oh my god

“how’d i do?” STOP🥺

“how about somethin a little more your size” AND HER LITTLE “okay.” AND THE MUSIC AND I’M GONNA CRRYYYYYYY

AND HIM STUTTERING AND MAKING SURE ABOUT THE SAFETY ON THE GUN I- AHHHHHHHHHHHH🥺🥺🥺

oh shit! i wonder if this is the part that they’ve been filming with the hunter trucks!

that poor couple :(

the “let’s just get to the bridge” and ellie saying “okay” w a shaky breath :( LET ME HUG HER DUDE

almost to the bridge🕺🏻🕺🏻

omg joel saw the movie that’s promoted everywhere. and basically insinuated that sarah wanted to see it and joel saw it w her.🥺

alright i stopped after finding some optional dialogue w ellie. the chair that i sit in to play games makes my back and neck hurt SO BAD. and they both hurt hella so imma call it.

all in all, this play session was STRESSFUL. there were a lot of times where i had to go calm down for a bit before coming back. and also food breaks, and i have dogs to take care of as well haha. i really like seeing joel and ellie’s dynamic develop! :)

i really love this game so far. i’ve never really been one to talk a lot about combat systems in games just bc i play games for the story. and the last of us has a phenomenal story and really good writing so far. i’m excited to see the bond that joel and ellie have deepen, and what else is in store for our dynamic duo.

i have a feeling in my gut that i’m gonna get chased in a humvee by hunters tomorrow. but we’ll find out 😳

#the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #the last of us #tlou #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #mads plays the last of us!🌿

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ianenjoyer · 4 years ago

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an overly detailed analysis of every time Ian and Mickey talked about loving each other bc I love pain and angst apparently

1. “You love me, and you’re gay.” -Ian, 3x09

So right off the bat this one was always the most shocking to me. Throughout the season, there were definitely hints that they were falling in love with each other/already in love but the fact that this is the first time we actually hear it hurts me so much. Especially because Ian was so sure. He wasn’t asking Mickey if he loves him or begging Mickey to love him. He just... knew that he did. This scene is so raw and painful and real because you just see two kids who are desperately in love with each other, but not allowed or able to show that in a healthy way, so they just end up lashing out at each other.

2. “You try sitting on your ass while the person you love--” -Ian, 3x11

Like I said: pain. So before, we heard that Ian knows Mickey loves him, but I always thought it was interesting that he focused on that instead of telling Mickey that he loves him. Because he does, and he definitely knew that. I think this speaks to Ian’s tendency to compartmentalize and only think of his emotions in terms of other people, which he does consistently throughout the show. So here we hear him admit it, but not to Mickey, and only because he’s drunk out of his mind. Ian is just one of those people that constantly keeps things bottled up inside and only deals with them when he reaches a breaking point, which he definitely did in this episode (and we see the fall out of this in 3x12).

2.5 (bc i forgot it the first time) “You love Mickey?” -Carl, 4x11

So I do think it’s really interesting that he says “I like how he smells” here instead of just saying yes. I mean I do think he likes how Mickey smells which is very adorable but he also definitely loved Mickey at this point and he was definitely aware of that. I think he didn’t say it for two reasons: one, he wasn’t ready to admit it out loud and two, he didn’t want Mickey to hear him say it. Before, being over-eager and too obvious about his feelings hadn’t been met with a good response from Mickey, so I think he was trying to avoid scaring him off, while also doing some pretty serious compartmentalization himself. This especially makes sense considering that they weren’t technically a couple here, and that Mickey had only just started admitting (through actions, not words) that what he and Ian had was about more than sex.

3. “You love him?” -Svetlana, 4x12

The dynamic between Mickey and Svet is a very interesting one, and I don’t know if anybody could ever fully pick it apart. But in this scene, you see an odd mutual understanding between them (which extends in season 5a). And what’s truly shocking is that Mickey says “maybe”, which is such a big step for him. Before, if somebody asked him that he would have completely avoided the question while probably blowing up at the person. But he says “maybe”, showing that, even if he doesn’t fully understand his feelings, he had definitely thought about it, and it doesn’t scare him like it used to. This is definitely because he came out and finally felt like he could really be with Ian without this sword hanging over his head (even though the circumstances of that weren’t great).

4. “I love you.” -Mickey, 5x06

God this one... breaks my heart. First of all, the fact that Mickey was the first one to say it would have been shocking in seasons 1-3, but it actually makes so much sense in season 5. Over and over again this season, Mickey’s shown that he loves Ian, but the fact that he can only say it when he thinks he’s losing Ian, and that it’s obvious he didn’t mean to say it, shows that he still hasn’t fully come to terms with his feelings, no matter how strong they are.

5. “You used to love me--now you don’t even know who I am.” Ian, 5x12

This one is almost identical to #1, except with the added piece that Ian no longer thinks he deserves to be loved. This one is so fascinating to me, because it shows, once again, that Ian projects his emotions onto other people instead of dealing with his own feelings. He tells Mickey that he used to love him, even though there’s been no indication from Mickey that he no longer loves him. He says that Mickey doesn’t know who he is when, really, he’s the one that doesn’t know who he is. He put words into Mickey’s mouth, because that’s what he believed to be true, and I really don’t think that at this point anything could have convinced him otherwise. The lack of self-worth that comes with having a mental illness is so debilitating and all-consuming that no amount of reasoning from Mickey would have done much to convince him that he deserved what Mickey was offering to give him.

6. “I love you.” -Mickey, 5x12

So while we have Ian telling Mickey that he used to love him, Mickey counters by just saying how he feels to his face. I think that seeing Ian go though what he went through, and almost losing him like three times made it so that Mickey could no longer deny his feelings. But like I said, Ian had it so cemented in his mind that he was doomed and fucked for life, that I don’t think anything could have gotten through to him at this point. And of course at this point Noel left the show, so we never got to see what could have happened between them if Mickey had stayed. (I 100% think they would have gotten back together sometime in late season 6 after Ian reached a stable place again but whatever).

7. “I love you.” -Ian, 7x11

Fuck. 7x10 and 7x11 are such bittersweet episodes because while it does make it so clear that Ian and Mickey are the loves of each others lives, it’s also when they thought they would never see each other again. What’s extra sad it that this is the first time we’ve ever heard Ian say this. And it’s a goodbye. The only time Ian can really face his emotions head on is when he’s forced to, and he was definitely forced to here. He loves Mickey. He knows Mickey loves him. But that didn’t really matter here, and it’s so tragic, but also really realistic. As for Mickey, he doesn’t even seem surprised--because he wasn’t. He wouldn’t have asked Ian to come if he didn’t know he loved him. This scene is extra heartbreaking because of that. This whole thing just serves as a reminder that sometimes love isn’t enough, and that sometimes there are forces bigger than any two people at play, which I think has always been a central idea to their story.

8. “I love you.” “I know, love you too.” Ian and Mickey, 10x03

Mutual ‘I love you!!!! It took like 10 years but it finally happened. They say it like they’ve said it a thousand time before, which makes me think that it’s definitely not the first time they’ve said it. There’s not really much to talk about here except that finally they’re allowed to love each other. Sure it’s not an ideal situation, but it is one where there are no forces actively working to keep them apart, which is so wonderful. When Ian and Mickey are allowed to just be, they work so well. Even though they’re saying goodbye here, it’s not a real one, not like the break up or the border. It’s temporary and they both know that so for once, them saying ‘i love you’ is a happy (or at least bittersweet) thing instead of the tragedy it was all of the other times.

9. “I love you…and I trust you.” -Ian, 10x08

Remember that quote where Fiona tells Jimmysteve that to her (and all the Gallaghers) trust is bigger than love? Yeah. Anyways his scene is tough because while I don’t think Ian was necessarily lying about genuinely wanting to marry Mickey and the legal stuff just being bonus, I do think he was downplaying the importance, both to himself and Mickey. And at the courthouse, once the bonus of spousal privilege wasn’t needed, he definitely started to realize the magnitude of the situation and what connotations marriage held for him. I mean marriage isn’t something you should just decide on a whim, no matter how much you love somebody and I think he realized that the second the impending threat was gone.

10. “Mickey, I love you!” -Ian 10x08

This is him making it as clear as possible to Mickey that it’s marriage that’s the problem, not him. He saw how heartbroken Mickey was when he didn’t sign the papers, and was basically doing damage control at this point. The problem was, Mickey couldn’t see through his initial heartbreak to really listen to what Ian was saying, or try to understand where he was coming from. I think that Mickey is an incredibly understanding person, but this was just one time too many for him.

11. “You’re just saying you don’t love me enough now.” -Mickey, 10x09

This is probably the first time we’ve ever seen Mickey question Ian’s feelings for him. I think that at the courthouse, he was just so blatantly reminded of the break up and the border that he wasn’t thinking rationally. He was so terrified at the prospect of Ian not choosing him, that he couldn’t listen to Ian’s (pretty reasonable) explanation for why he didn’t get married. However, I don’t think he really believed what he was saying, especially because of how petty he was being with Byron, and how obvious he made it that he would instantly go back to Ian if he proposed. But it still is really sad that he was reminded of that all over again after believing that he and Ian were gonna get married and that he was never going to have to worry about that again.

12. “How do you know you love me?” -Ian, 10x09

I’ve written a meta on this before but here I go again. He’s once again assuming that Mickey couldn’t possibly love him--that he couldn’t possibly want to be with him forever. Not because Mickey’s done anything to indicate that, but because that’s what he thinks Mickey should feel. He genuinely can’t believe that Mickey would want to be with somebody like him, especially because of what he saw with Monica and the way she destroyed relationship after relationship (both romantic and familial). I don’t think he sees himself as being all that different from Monica, so even though that’s definitely not something Mickey would ever care about, it weighs on him heavily (and probably always will). This whole thing just so directly parallels the break up, and it’s so sad to think that, after everything, Ian still doesn’t think he’s worthy of the kind of love Mickey has for him.

13. “I love you Mickey Milkovich. More than anything.” -Ian, 10x10

More than anything!! God, the proposal was a little underwhelming but this line!! It’s Ian choosing to get past all of his doubts because his love for Mickey is bigger to him than they could ever be. Like I said, I don’t think he’ll ever fully be over his insecurities, but he can definitely choose to let Mickey in and have hope that they can work through it together. And even though Mickey knew that Ian loved him and was basically just biding his time, it must have felt amazing for him to hear it put so clearly like this.

14. “Look I love you. I love you.” -Mickey, 10x12

First of all, the way he says it is so amazing. Second of all, there isn’t much to say about this except that it’s so indicative of his growth. Like he went from being closeted and terrified, to blurting out how he feels in a room full of people. That is such a beautiful thing and I get really emo whenever I think about it.

15. “To love and to cherish you ‘til death do us part.” -Ian and Mickey, 10x12

I actually really love that they used traditional vows for their wedding. So much of their relationship was complicated and hard, so to have something very simplistic but meaningful as their vows was so perfect. And the way they say them... they’re being so sincere and so honest. They really mean what they’re saying. They love each other!! And they’re married!! Wow!! That’s all I have to say about this.

#edit: check the notes for 2.5! (the one that i missed)#nvm i just added it in skfjklds #alright here yall go!! enjoy the roller coaster #holy shit this is long #if you actually took the time to read this please know that I love you and would die for you #also i still feel like i missed some?????#i sure hope not #i really hope s11 just focuses on them working through all the insecurities and stuff that they both definitely still have #shameless #gallavich #shameless meta #gallavich meta #ian x mickey

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maccreadysimp · 4 years ago

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breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

#mine #shameless #ian gallgher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #text post

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robinofinashiro · 4 years ago

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“dear lord when i get to heaven / please let me bring my man / when he comes / tell me that you’ll let him in / father tell me if you can /

request status: OPEN

pairing: mirai sasaki (sir nighteye) x fem! reader

note: send more MHA reqs. i’m having a mha hyperfixation and i can’t seem to get out of it !! plus for obvious reasons, no s4 spoilers bc i’m a good person who doesn’t want to spoil shit for anyone.

“uh, Nighteye?” Mirio asked, staring at the front door, shocked, “sir?” he asked again.

neither Sir Nighteye or Bubble Girl were paying attention to see the face on the high school students face. Mirio didn’t want know whether to interrupt their conversation or keep staring at who just came into the building but eventually, he called for Bubble Girl who finally looked up.

“do you see what I’m seeing or am I just seeing things?” Bubble Girl said before kicking the side of Nighteye’s leg, “sir, look at who just walked into the building!” she whispered to him.

finally, Nighteye looked up, feeling his heart come to a halt. you walked into Nighteye’s agency with a flock of fans following behind you as your manager talked to the front desk manager.

“what is the fourth ranking pro hero doing here?” Mirio asked both Bubble Girl and Nighteye, “yeah Sir, what is she doing here?” Bubble Girl repeated. the two of them could see how Nighteye had yet to say anything but continued to stare at you.

you were talking with the front desk manager who was blushing when you spoke to her. your smile was very contagious, it was hard not to fall in love with it when you were in close proximity with someone and his receptionist was no exception to that.

Nighteye walked back to his office as quickly as possible as Mirio and Bubble Girl remained in place. it took a few minutes until Bubble Girl realized something.

years back, when Nighteye first took her in, she had gotten him to spill a bit of his personal life to her. he had mentioned that he had once fallen in love with someone but due to personal reasons, it didn’t work out. his ex girlfriend had went her separate way around the time that Nighteye had became All Might’s sidekick.

she had put together a few things that made her suspicious of Nighteye when it came to you. whenever there was a report and you came on screen, he seemed to have turned the TV volume up or shut it off completely. other times, he would see his eye linger on a magazine or newspaper cover when you were on it.

the biggest indication of this as she now started to put the dots together was the few books or magazine covers he had of you that were hidden behind all the All Might merchandise.

it was impossible to not who you were. you were ranked fourth in the Japanese charts and were constantly modeling for magazine covers or fashion lines. you were pretty well liked hero, coming up to the popularity standards of Hawks and Mirko.

“that’s Sir’s ex girlfriend,” she whispered to Mirio. he gave her a confused look, not knowing whether to believe her or not, “how would you know?” he asked back, trying not to catch your attention.

she quickly explained her theory to Mirio who in turn shook his head, firmly believing what she was saying. the two of them looked at each other before rushing over to the front desk and smiling at you, smiling the hardest they had ever smiled before.

“hi, we’re Nighteye’s intern and sidekick, how can we welcome the illustrious fourth ranked hero to his agency?” Bubble Girl quickly said. you turned to them and stared for a moment, “nice to meet you Bubble Girl and?” you asked, turning to Mirio.

“MIRIO!” he practically yelled, “MIRIO TOGATA OR RATHER LEMILLION!” he continued. you couldn’t help but laugh at his over enthusiastic talking, “we’re huge fans!!”

“that means a lot Mirio, say, would you happen to know if your boss is available?” you asked the two before seeing the man himself, walking out of his office.

Nighteye saw his two employee’s talking to you as you talked to them without much hesitation or hurry. he gulped nervously before slowly walking towards Bubble Girl and Mirio. his hands were sweating and he couldn’t stop fixing his polka dotted tie.

“Bubble Girl, Lemillion, you can take your lunch,” he told the two. both of them looked at Nighteye before shaking their heads, “no can do, Sir Nighteye. you told us yourself, we head to our breaks at precisely noon,” Mirio reminded him, “now, both of you,” he said a bit more sternly.

“goodbye Mirio!! here’s my card if you ever want to talk heroics or you know, if Nighteye doesn’t treat you well,” you joked with a wink. he nodded, taking the card and thanking you profusely before Bubble Girl grabbed him by the shirt and dragging him away.

the two of you stared at each other, you suddenly feeling a bit of tears threatening to spring into your eyes as you stared at your old lover.

“took me long enough to find your agency,” you finally said with a chuckle. he remained silent, “so you’re going to stand there and not say anything to me?” you whispered to Nighteye.

the receptionist who was trying not to eavesdrop wanted to yell at Nighteye for not saying anything but in reality, his eyes said everything. he had no idea if it was his brain playing tricks or the air that was blowing in his building but your hair was flowing like it would be in a movie and your smile just didn’t let him say anything.

“what are you doing here?” he finally said, “what, I couldn’t drop by and tell my favorite hero hello?” you asked with your eyebrow raised.

he shook his head no, “that’s not what i’m saying. what i’m saying is why did you drop by? did you want to talk negotiations on something?” he asked, “because we can step into a conference room with our sidekicks?” he added on.

you gave him a look, “Mirai, I think you know why I’m here,” you whispered to him as he saw your tears wanting to spill again. he shook his head, grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you over to his office, quickly locking the door.

one look into his eyes had you crying into his shoulder as he held you. the stoic man could almost hear the hurt in your sobs as you tried to speak but your cries made it hard to comprehend what you were saying.

Nighteye was patrolling the area of town that wasn’t very criminally active. he passed a store that had TV’s by the window, showing whatever it was playing to the civilians who passed by.

upon first glance, he thought nothing of it but came to a halt when he saw the reports of an incident that was happening a two towns over with top ranked heroes and villains. the report stating that several heroes were down and severally injured.

he immediately retracted, trying to hear the names of the heroes. his heart steadied hearing names of heroes he didn’t know or was close with but that thought was immediately put away when he heard your pro hero name.

“( pro her name ) is to be amongst some of the heroes who was saved in the first round of rescue. ( pro hero name ) is the fourth ranked pro hero, her quirk a specialty to these types of scenarios. known for her charismatic and extroverted hero personality, we can only hope she recovers quickly and if possible, makes a come back to the hero scene.”

Mirai stared at the screen, watching the news channel play highlights of your rescues and a slideshow with a few modeling gigs you had done. he knew you weren’t dead and he had no idea why the news cast was making it seems as if you were but he instantly ran down to his agency, a million thoughts running through his head.

as soon as he arrived, he turned the TV on again, telling Bubble Girl to head home and pulled out his phone. he quickly dialed your agency, hoping they would answer his call but he was sent to a busy signal. after a few failed attempts, he thought of the next thing, actually visiting you.

grabbing his keys, he ran to his car, hoping he didn’t get stuck in traffic and luckily, fate was on his side that day because he made it to the hospital that was reported to be where you were at. he knew that because he was a hero, they could probably break the rules a bit to let him in.

“i’m here to see ( your name ),” he asked the front desk receptionist. her eyes fluttered in confusion, “are you her boyfriend, husband? we can’t let you in if you’re not related to her,” the receptionist replied.

Mirai glared at her as he muttered that you were his ex girlfriend. the receptionist sighed before signing his name on a sticky with the relation tag being husband signed to it, “I could get into trouble for this but she’s in ICU ward. I don’t think anyone is in there so you’re free to visit,” she replied, giving Mirai the sticky.

he knew he was too worried to be waiting for the elevator so he sprinted up the stairs, bumping into nurses and doctors, not caring if he hit anyone or not. as soon as he arrived to the room with your real last name on the whiteboard, he saw that the only person in the room was your assigned doctor.

“how is she?” he practically yelled. the doctor jumped up a bit in fear. he read the sticky with his name and relation to you before nodding, “50/50. if she makes it out alive, she will never return to hero work. her injuries are too severe to ever come back from it. if she doesn’t, well i think you know where we go from there. i can leave you alone with your wife if you’d like?” he asked but came out as more of a statement.

Mirai thanked him as the doctor shut the door and left him alone with you. he walked towards you, seeing your coma-induced body on the bed, seemingly lifeless to anyone who didn’t know your status. he had no idea when he started crying but eventually, he was sobbing over your body, saying incoherent things through tears.

“i know i swore to you that i would never use my foresight on you and i’ll keep that promise as long as you promise to make it out alive. if i have to come back to hear that you're on your death bed, i will use it and that will be a future i will be determined to change.”

you didn’t move as he watched the machine that roared with the status of your heart beat. he remained in the room for a while before seeing the doctor come in again, “we can call you if she wakes up,” the doctor informed him. Mirai sighed, “don’t,” he replied, not giving the doctor enough time to reply.

knowing that he was better off trying to hide away from the crowd that was forming at the front of the hospital with your fans, he asked a doctor if he could the employee entrance to leave.

he decided to head home, knowing that he wouldn’t get any work done if he had returned. on his way him, his finger tapped the wheel in anxiety. all he wanted to do was get home and hope that he would hear on the news that you were finally awake and in recovery.

as he got home, he walked in, kicking his shoes off and going to his room. he went into his closet, pulling out a very old box that he hadn’t thought of in years. it was a box filled with photos of you and him.

the photos were of a bunch of different dates or events. they were mostly taken by you but a few were from top free lance journalist, Taneo Tokuda. yeah, Mirai felt weird holding onto the photos but he couldn’t depart from them. in the back of his mind, he felt as though that break up wasn’t actually a break up. it felt more like a LONG break.

in his hallway, he had a few of your magazine covers framed to make it seem like like a poster. he had put a few other hero around you to not make it weird but he every morning when he got up, he stared at the photos. you looked flawless in them.

after he reminisced on the photos and covers, he shoved the box back into the closet and laid down, taking his tie off with anger and nervousness.

a few weeks later, you woke up after being moved from the ICU to the regular hospital wing. you woke up to a blaring headache and your doctors immediately checking on your vision and anything else they couldn’t do while you were asleep.

after they checked up on everything and made sure you were feeling okay, the few nurses left and you were now alone with your doctor. he looked at you with a small smile.

“your husband came to visit but oddly, it was only once,” he murmured. you eyebrows fluttered in confusion, “my husband? mind telling me who that is?” you asked, now interested to hear the answer the doctor came up with.

he stared back at you with confusion, “you don’t remember? are you having trouble remembering things?” he asked making you shake your head no, “Sir Nighteye! he came the first day you got here but he informed me not to call him when you woke and only came in that day,” he replied.

you rolled your eyes, of course it was Nighteye who visited you. you nodded, thanking the doctor for answering you as he continued to ask you questions to make sure you didn’t have any kind of other memory loss.

once the doctor left, you felt yourself continuing to think of Nighteye. you knew better than anyone that your feelings for Mirai had never fully left. after the breakup, you continued to check up on him every so often. you had heard of the nasty break up he had with All Might and was tempted to call him to make sure he was okay but against your better judgement, you didn’t.

the breakup between the two of you wasn’t nasty, not in the slightest. the both of you understanding that your lives were being lead into different directions for the time being. you congratulated him for being accepted as the sidekick to the top hero as he congratulated you for becoming the sidekick to another.

you left the night of the breakup with a bittersweet feeling in your heart. you knew this wasn’t the last you would have saw him but it was going to be for a long while. the night ended with giving him a soft kiss and an exchanges of ‘be safe’.

you finally pulled away to see Nighteye’s face. he stared at you as he slowly wiped your tears away and tried comforting you without trying to be awkward.

“why? why did you visit me that day?” you asked. Mirai sighed, “we both know why I did,” he repeated your words from earlier.

you shook your head, “no Mirai, give me an answer. that’s the least I deserve,” you said, “i couldn’t let you pass away without saying my goodbyes. we both know that’s what we would have done if the situation was reversed,” he responded.

you couldn’t help but agree. you knew you would have if the situation was turned around. Mirai’s hold on you was still not released as you signed into his embrace. a feeling in your gut was making you think that his intern and sidekick was eavesdropping on the other side of the door.

the two of your remained quiet, not knowing what to say for what felt like hours. it wasn’t until you noticed your magazine cover for the Hero Chart JP cover from a few years ago on his wall.

“you hung that?” you asked him. Mirai nodded, “it was a great cover,” he responded with no hesitation. you laughed, “it really was. landed in third spot that year, behind All Might and Endeavor. no surprise there,” you joked.

the two of you laughed, feeling the slight awkward tension finally drifting away. it wasn’t until you stopped laughing when you realized how close in proximity you were with Mirai when you felt yourself give him a kiss. the kiss filled with that longing feeling.

it was another while until the two of you pulled away when you leaned your forehead against his. he smiled, wiping the stray tears that came down your face.

“what does this mean for us? again?” you asked him. Mirai stayed silent for a moment, “it means to pick up from where we last left off,” he replied.

you smiled at him before bringing him into another kiss, “that’s fine with me,” you whispered.

Mirai nodded as you heard two loud voices, screaming in happiness from the other side of the wall. you laughed, knowing it was Mirio and Bubble Girl who made it known that they were listening to the entire conversation.

“i think your intern and sidekick heard the entire conversation,” you said playfully. Nighteye shrugged, “what else is new?” he chuckled, “i’ll just make them do overtime for it.”

the screaming instantly turning into groans and arguments between the two of them as they heard what Nighteye had said. you remained in Mirai’s hug, laughing at both him and Mirio’s/Bubble Girl.

#bnha #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero x reader #mha #mha imagine #mha x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia imagine #sir nighteye #sir nighteye imagine #sir nighteye x reader #mirai sasaki #mirai sasaki imagine #mirai saski x reader #anime #anime imagines #anime imagine

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rafecameron · 4 years ago

Text

dancing on my own

request: Angst with no happy ending? How abt *insert actor/character* getting married and their ex (the reader) kinda 'forcing herself' to go to the wedding bc she really wants to see their mutual friends again but like doesn't wanna see the wedding. And reader just watching the love of their live get married and be happy with someone else and their heart silently being ripped apart? Too cruel?

pairing: ex!luke patterson x reader

word count: 2.1K

warnings: heartbreak, no happy ending

a/n: here you go cruel anon. turns out im not that great at heartbreak but hopefully this makes your heart crack a little bit. (also idk if people read authors notes but my requests are currently closed!)

Y/N thought back on all the times she could have turned around. When she was getting into her car. When she reached the airport. When she queued to board the plane. When she checked into her hotel. When she began to get ready. Now she was facing the very last time she could turn around. Stood outside the venue, all dressed up with no one to walk her inside. But just like the times before, she didn’t turn around, she pushed on. Her heart breaking a little more with each step, she knew that surely by the end of the night there would be nothing left but crumbs. She had promised herself two things before this trip. Number one; she would not speak to him. Number two; she would not cry. She wasn’t entirely sure she would be able to keep either of the promises to herself, but repeating them in her head made her feel that little bit calmer.

She situated herself beside a table lined with drinks, helping herself to a flute of champagne. She was anxious for the doors to be opened so she could find a seat, somewhere in a corner at the back would suit her just fine. Out of sight of anyone who would surely recognise her, she had no intentions of engaging in conversation until the reception. But seeing as what was happening today she should have known it would be her unlucky day.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” a voice speaks beside her and she turns, landing eyes on someone she had not seen for far too long. His suit was tailored perfectly to his body, his long hair tied in a bun at the back of his head. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” He pulls her into a hug.

“I wasn’t sure I would either,” she admits as she pulls away, “I wasn’t going to, but I wanted to see everyone...most people.”

Willie laughs softly, “I’m glad you’re here, sit beside me?” He asks, motioning with his head towards the doors that were being pulled open.

“Oh, I was just gonna sit in the back,” she stumbles over her words as Willie takes ahold of her hand, “Aren’t you going to sit with Alex?”

“He’s preoccupied.” Willie states simply, ignoring her protests as he pulls her towards the front of the room to take a seat in the front row.

She sighs as she sits down beside him. The sick feeling in her stomach growing as the room slowly became more and more full, people lining up on the benches and getting ready to watch the ceremony.

Willie reaches down and takes ahold of her hand again, giving it a light squeeze and offering a comforting smile, “You don’t have to stay.” He whispers.

“I do.” She nods, “I want to see everyone, I won’t stay all day but I need to at least say hello now I’m here.”

Willie nods his head, squeezing her hand one last time and patting her knees before turning back to face forward, the ceremony would be starting any minute and she found that her eyes were glued to the pattern on the floor.

For the entirety of the ceremony she didn’t look up. She didn’t want to risk meeting his eyes, didn’t want to see her friends sympathetic looks and definitely didn’t want to see the bride looking beautiful in her white dress. She tried her best not to listen, she couldn’t stomach hearing the vows and knew if she heard the words I do in his voice she’d cry. So she thought about anything else but what was happening in front of her.

She finally looked up when the couple was safely past her line of sight, eyes instantly meeting that of an old blonde friend. He gave her a wave, she was sure the smile was supposed to make her feel better but she just felt more pathetic. Why was she even here? She’s sure the invite was out of politeness and not an actual invitation to come. And if her friends were going to be tiptoeing around her and treating her like a porcelain doll she wasn’t sure she could cope. The nicer people were to her about this the more likely it was she would break down.

She didn’t want to think about it, about him, sure she was at his wedding but that didn’t mean this day had to be about him. She wanted to have a catch up with her friends, avoid her ex the whole night and then go back home, cry with a bottle of wine and forget this whole thing ever happened.

“I’m glad you came.” Alex says as he reaches her, pulling her into a hug, “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too.” She responds truthfully, “Can we go to the reception? I think I need a drink already.”

Alex laughs, taking Willies hand in his own and leading the way towards the after party. The amount of people that were there she was sure she would be able to avoid the groom for the night. She found herself situated on a table with her friends, helping herself to a glass of wine and making sure the bottle was kept close to her.

No matter how excited she was to see her friends she found that now she was here she was finding it hard to hold a conversation. The group around her were still familiar with each other, still seeing each other and having things to talk about, she felt a little like a spare part. But still she smiled along and listened to their conversation. Something about a recent party they had attended where Reggie had drank a little too much, she laughed along with them unsure of what else to do. The more they spoke and tried to involve her in the conversation the more she realised she didn’t really know the people around her anymore. Sure she had good memories with them and she would always consider them her friends, but she didn’t really know them.

The best thing about weddings it that you can be invisible if you wanted to be. The bride and groom were always busy, everyone wanting to talk to them and congratulate them, and the drunker the guests got the easier it was to slip away from conversations and merely watch the scenes unfold. Which is exactly what she did. She watched her friends get drunk and progressively louder, not noticing anymore if she wasn’t joining in their conversation. If the night continued this way she was certain she would make it out in one piece.

She thought she was doing a pretty good job of avoiding the one person she feared seeing the most. But halfway through the night a hand landed on her shoulder and a familiar scent filled her nose. She felt her skin ignite where his fingers touched and she begged the butterflies in her stomach to go away, to fly away and disappear forever.

Turning in her seat she finally meets his eyes for the first time that night, forcing a smile onto her face as she stands up and allows him to pull her into a hug. Her heart hammers in her chest and she uses every ounce of will power within her to not shed any tears, she felt the epitome of pathetic. Wanting to cry at a wedding like she was in a bad romcom movie. Only if this were a movie she’d get the guy, or a second guy would come sweep her off her feet and make her forget the first one was ever there. She didn’t see that happening anytime soon.

“Thanks for coming.” Luke smiles, “You look great, that colour really suits you.”

She returns his smile with a tight lipped one of her own, “Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” She attempts a light hearted laugh.

She looked away, she couldn’t stand looking into his eyes any longer, his gaze intense and stirring way too many different emotions inside of her. She wanted him to be horrible to her, to tell her to leave and never come back, not to tell her she looks great. How was she ever supposed to get over him when he was nothing but nice to her all the time. She wished he had done something at the end to allow her to hate him. Cheat on her maybe, or tell her he never loved her, then maybe she’d stand a tiny chance of getting over him and moving on with her life. Instead he was selfish and kept her at arms length because he knew he always could and that should have been enough for her to stay away, but she just couldn’t.

“Congratulations,” she looks back at him, eyes settling just above his to avoid his gaze, “You seem really happy, I wish you all the best.”

“Thanks,” he smiles and it’s genuine, something which breaks her heart a little more.

Of course she wants him to be happy, but a bigger part of her wants him to be happy with her and not anyone else. She knows that’s selfish, but that doesn’t stop her from trying to wish it into existence no matter how futile she knows it is.

“Have you met Jess?” He asks, placing a hand on her shoulder as though about to lead her somewhere.

“Oh, no I haven’t but she looks busy,” she quickly shrugs his hand off, the bride she could see from the corner of her eye, laughing at something another guest had said, “I’ll introduce myself later.” She lies.

The only thing she could think that would be worse than this wedding was having to actually meet the bride. To meet her replacement, the better version. The one who had stolen his heart and been worth enough to keep it forever. She forces a smile and excuses herself to the bathroom.

As she reaches the bathroom she can feel her eyes stinging, shutting herself in a cubicle she fans her face, determined not to let a single tear fall. She had made a promise to herself and the least she could do was keep it. She leant her head back against the door, letting out a shaky breath to compose herself.

Once she was sure she wouldn’t cry she exited the bathroom again, thankful to see that he was no longer at the table she had just ran from. She took her seat and no one asked where she had been or if she was okay, she was glad for that at least.

As the night wore on she thought she was doing okay, one little hiccup but no tears since, she’d even found herself genuinely laughing at a couple points. He’d spoken to her and she hadn’t thrown up on his shoes, he had no reason to try and speak to her again.

But then it was time for the first dance and she felt her chest tightening. Her calm composure being over taken by a sinking feeling of dread. She watched for a minute, watched him hold her close and smile. Watched him lean in to kiss her gently before spinning her under his arm and pulling her back in. She wished more than anything that it was her in his arms, her who he still looked at like the world shone behind her eyes. But it would never be her again, and his bride she was sure was far more beautiful than she could ever hope to be.

She watched as more dancers joined the floor, her friends among them. She tried to smile, but the sight was too much for her. Her friends laughing and dancing with their loved ones while she sat on the side lines and watched feeling like a stranger. The slow music a melancholy soundtrack to her emotions, reminding her of something she could never have.

She stands from the table, dragging her eyes over each person she knew, lingering on Luke for a moment longer before she turned and walked out of the room. She knew that this would be the last time she ever saw him, because she knew seeing him happy with someone else would be a slow form of torture. So she walked away, from him, from her friends forever, leaving whatever little pieces were left of her heart behind. By the time she exited the building she felt nothing more than a hollow shell and she finally let the tears fall.

tags: @lovesanimals @makebank @chrlsgillespie @crybabyddl @marinettepotterandplagg @caitsymichelle13 @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @alexpjoyner @meangirlsx

#luke patterson x reader #luke patterson fic #luke patterson imagine #jatp fic #my writing

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mego42 · 4 years ago

Text

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them.

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers

another grief study!

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!!

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!!

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio?

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is?

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

#fingers crossed these links are right i did not double check #i like to live on the edge #truly mind boggling amount of fluff on this list i surprised myself on that one #no i will not at any point get my shit together enough to write out thoughtful commentary this is a shit posting blog first last and always #fic recs #gg fic #nbc good girls #i'll come up with a tag for these if i ever do them again #check back 37 years from now #or ~~~~~~march #whatever that means

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botwstoriesandsuch · 4 years ago

Note

I really like/agree with the changes you’ve made so far to AoC. One thing I’d personally want to change is Impa’s intro cutscene. It seems very odd to me that the first thing we see is her crying out for help bc a small group of Bokoblins were after her, but then the game IMMEDIATELY turns around and shows that she’s a strong warrior, both through gameplay and the king’s dialogue about her being able to take care of herself. (1/2, sorry this is a little long!! I hope you don’t mind!)

Anonymous said to botwstoriesandsuch:

(2/2) Not to mention Impa is labeled as “Royal Advisor”, but other than giving Zelda encouragement she never advises anyone on anything (as far as I remember.) As much as I love her humorous scenes I wish we saw more of her as an advisor and strong warrior. I’d love to know what you think, though! Maybe I’m thinking of things all wrong? Hopefully this doesn’t come across as Impa hate bc I really like her and her character! I just wish Nintendo did more with her, you know?

- - - - - -

Oh you’re absolutely right! I actually completely forgot about Impa’s introduction because of how forgettable it was...lmao. So yeah! Like you said that introduction completely contradicts how she’s characterized for the rest of the game...which is probably why I had nearly erased it from my memory, since it really serves no importance to her.

I actually have some plans for Impa’s little “Advisor” title, although it’s nothing too major, I might rework something to make her a bit more important as I guess I’ve mainly been too focused on rewriting the Champs and counterparts but I think I can actually play with that title to give her a more memorable introduction for the game.

So I’m just spitballing here, but only significant part of Impa’s intro that we need to keep intact is that she needs be in possession of the Sheikah Slate, and somehow lead into the activation of eggbot. We don’t want her to clumsily trip and drop it because Impa is supposed to be physically capable, with her flaws being in her slight hot-headedness, or I guess the better word is impulsiveness? She confident to a fault, absolutely loyal to Zelda as both a friend and an advisor who supports her, and she’s got that cute sister foil dynamic with Impa. She’s also got a bit of humoristic air to her. So! Let’s a go and introduce her.

Link is running through the garrisons, sword at the ready, he’s running around looking for monsters. He hears a commotion to his right, and spots a building. Inside, he can already see bokoblins making their way inside. He follows.

The building he walks into is a storage place for Guardians, because of course there is! Like this is a war they’re fighting, and the entire point of the Guardians was that they were part of their arsenal, so I’m surprised that their precesne is better established at these forts and stuff. Anyhow, Link kills a bokoblin and steps inside, following the sound of grunting. Turning the corner he see, Impa, by the backdoor.

Currently, she’s trying to bash a bokoblin’s head with a Sheikah Slate. As she is standing on a table with the monster grabbing at her leg, a few other surrounding her. “Let! Go! You!” Her words in time with her bonking it on the head. She suddenly spots Link. “Hey you! Can you hold this for a sec?” She tosses the Slate, and Link fumbles a bit as he catches it.

“Don’t break it now! Princess’ orders.” Impa yells. With her hands less full, she does the little hand finger motion thing and summons her clones. She then unsheathes her sword, and along with her clones, she instantly kills off the group of bokoblins in the room. As they crumple to the ground, she bounces off the table and turns towards Link with a smile.

Thanks for the hand, I’ll take that back now please. As the monsters behind her vanish into malice, and her clones do the hand thing and disappear, that’s when her title comes up.

Before Link has a chance to react and give it back, the Guardians in the room suddenly buzz and whirr. Impa frowns a bit.

“Ummm, ok? I’m no expert but I don’t think that’s supposed to happen.” Link looks around, the room they’re in is littered in Guardian parts and Sheikah tech. Suddenly, under a table, he spots something white and shiny, much unlike the other stuff in the room.

Impa is still staring curiously at the awakened Guardian, meanwhile Link crouches down under the table to look at the mysterious object. It’s eggbot. He reaches out to pick it up, Sheikah Slate still in hand. But as he does, the whole room suddenly lights up in blue light.

“What the?!” Impa and Link and both startled, and the ground begins to rumble.

Impa gives a quick nod towards the back door. “Come on! We need to get out of here.”

Back outside, the ground is still rumbling, but similar to the actual cutscene, a group of bokoblins approach them. Impa steels herself and readies her weapon along with Link. But before they can fight, the Sheikah Tower rises up.

Then that’s the same as the original scene, where they both look up in shock. Link then turns around, and back by the building they just came out of, he sees a little Terrako walking around. It patters around by the back doors entrance, but when it sees Link, it gives a cute little jump of excitement and runs towards him. Maybe it can knock him to the ground like a puppy or something. Impa can look at him weirdly like “wtf”

And that’s my change! Impa gets a badass moment, we got a few dialogue pieces that show her respect for Zelda and her lack of knowledge about Guardians. And ALSO, I give a more reasonable explanation for eggbots presence. You ever notice how eggbot is just randomly lying in the field deactivated? Even though his time teleport thing clearly took place at the Castle? Yeah well here, eggbot is in storage with other Guardian parts. So it’s a wordless explanation that you can just fill in the blank spots in your head. Like some research found it lying around, and just shoved it with the other Ancient Technology.

And that’s my take on her introduction! It serves multiple purposes besides just introducing her, as it more fleshes out some plot details and keeps some action and momentum. Plus it’s a bit light hearted and funny, but not as the cost of making her look weak and helpless. Hopefully you think it’s ok D:

#Hwaoc: The Kip Cut #hwaoc spoilers #impa hwaoc #impa #long post

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literaphobe · 5 years ago

Text

season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn’t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this post... is so stupidly long #its essentially like a recap shitpost #but i give it a score out of 10 #i considered redoing the whole post but :(#it is what it is:(#hope y'all like this #please at least find this mildly entertaining #i hope to god the read more thing doesn't break #because...... this is long apologies in advance #hope its not too hard to read

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