#no actually i have a better idea what if nayeon is the only one who gets to mark jihyo 🤭

[jihyocentric]

I think 8 alphas would be too much for poor jihyos tiny self

So maybe, imagine they also like to help each other out 👀 while I was reading the asks it popped into my mind that one ask an anon sent about omega jihyo with alpha sanayeon were sana just rails nayeon to heaven and back

So i think a little a/a action would ease jihyos duty, or maybe I just really liked that sanayeon ask and am now projecting

definitely! i mentioned it in one of the asks i got. nayeon might be the alphas' alternative for when they can't have jiji (maknae line not included, they have dahyun for that)

[gyuswhore]

Hits Different (...'cause it's you) (1)

«« I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' »»

PAIRING: kim mingyu x reader

SYNOPSIS: Kim Mingyu was the first friend your brother had brought home for dinner. Fast forward a couple years, his toothy smile and pierced ears would wedge their way into a permanent place in your heart. Nail to a coffin, never to escape.

or;

in which you get rejected by the only boy you've ever loved; a rejection you can't quite shake off.

GENRES: based off of 'Hits Different' by Taylor Swift, brother's best friend!au, brother!seokmin, fluff, angst, smut (in part 2) [MINORS DNI], friends(?) to lovers, university!au.

PLAYLIST: right here!

WORD COUNT (full fic): 40k (im actually embarrassed)

Part 1: 20.2k | Part 2: 20k

masterlist

WARNINGS : slowburn, angst, fluff, mingyus a bit of an airhead and an ass, reader has a hard time managing her feelings, lots of frustrated tears, one sided pining, user toruro x minghao make an appearance, swearing, there's another woman (gasp,,,,,but shes cool so), Nayeon is a darling, Seungcheol is kinda annoying here but we love him, smut tags in part 2

(Comments from @toruro): "oh shizzle", "yeah bitch", (on jihyo) "mother", "ME X HAO FIRE EMOJI", "men (derogatory)"

[A/N]: Tumblr is annoying and won't let me post the entire 40k in one go so i have to break it up (part 2 is out tomorrow!!!) i hope you guys enjoy this, thank you for all the love on the teaser, i hope this is able to live up to the hype, thank you so much for being patient with me <33 (ty @toruro for encouraging me when i felt shit ab this gkjnrgvkjrng and beta-ing ofc)

As someone who could vomit at the mere thought of throw-up, you tried not to stare into the toilet bowl as you emptied your guts in this questionable club bathroom. 

It was proving to be easier than you’d anticipated, naturally, when your eyes were blurred with bubbling tears. Were they because of your wretching or the feelings that churned in your heart? You can’t be entirely sure, nor can you find yourself having the mental strength to figure out. There’s a banging on the door behind you, one that sends your already aching head into a hurling spin. 

“Open the door, I have water for you, it’ll help!” You hear Mika blare from the other side, concern lacing her voice. 

You try to blink the tears away but they cascade down your cheek anyway, rubbing at them furiously before preparing to haul yourself off the disgusting bathroom floor. Taking a deep breath was a horrible idea, you realize when an atrocious mixture of scents hit your nostrils, cringing visibly. 

Washing your hands at the sink took you another five minutes, scrubbing furiously at your palms and nails with the dollar store soap the club graciously placed in a fancy dispenser, pumping more than a normal amount to rid yourself of the paranoia of tainted hands. 

Unfortunately for you, your palms were tainted with entities beyond mere soap and water’s powers. 

It was evident with the way you exited the bathroom feeling perhaps worse than you went in. Mika was nowhere to be seen in the hall, moving along to the private room where the rest of the group was to find her springing up as you enter. 

“You weren’t answering, so I left. Here, water, I told you to be careful with what you drink; you haven’t had a bite to eat either.” She reprimands. 

“Sorry,” you smile sheepishly, not having a reasonable excuse to give her. 

Joshua peeks over her shoulder, “You feeling any better?” 

The water is slow to go down as you sputter before replying in a hoarse voice, “Yeah. Way.” 

To be fair, the water did help. But it was you who was the problem, blaming the alcohol for the behaviour all your friends knew perfectly well where it was stemming from. Not a word was said though, for your sake or their own. You wrap up quickly after that, Joshua insisting to drop you off home himself, quoting how Seokmin would have his head if he left you in the hands of a taxi driver in this state — age gap be damned. You can only thank him as he pulls up to your destination, hoping you’ll remember this in the morning to return the favour in the future. 

“Before you go, can we talk for a second?” he piques, halting you as you remove your seatbelt. 

“Sure, yeah. What is it?” 

“I’m not gonna ask if you’re doing alright, not when you’re gonna give me the same answer as always. But…please take care of yourself. You’ve been drinking quite a bit lately, and it can’t be helping you at all” 

You listen to him silently, not a thought in your brain. But you nod anyway. 

“Thanks for looking out, Shua. I’m…I’m probably not gonna be going out for a while, you’re right,” you reply, quietly, a small smile on your face that you can only hope is reassuring. 

“I don’t mean lock yourself up, either. You don’t give yourself a break and then try to make up for it by drinking your self faint every week, that’s never gonna help you. You know that.” He speaks in a soft, soothing voice, a hand coming up to pat your hair before landing on your clasped hands on your lap. “You know what, I’ll pick you up tomorrow night, we can go the fair just me, you and Seok-” 

“I have class tomorrow.” 

“Like showing up hungover is gonna help you retain any information. Just skip.” 

You sigh a deep exhale, deciding to simply be upfront. “I kinda just wanna stay home for a while, going out’s kinda making it worse. I think rotting in front of my laptop’s what I really need right now” 

Throwing in a tinkle of a laugh, you hope you’ve sold yourself.

“Alright,” he sounds slightly unconvinced but doesn’t push you further, “I’ll drop in to bother you tomorrow though, don’t try stoping me”

“Okay,” you say, smiling a little wider. “I’m gonna go now, goodnight.”

“Wait!” he stops you once again, right before your about to shut the door. “Have you talked to Mingyu at all?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Shua. Night” 

With that you’ve slammed the door of his car shut, missing the ghost of a “goodnight” that leaves Joshua’s lips as he watches you walk inside the building. 

“And stop staying out so late at night! What were you supposed to do if Joshua wasn’t there?” Seokmin rants as he walks back and forth grabbing you water and pills as you finish your forced breakfast.

“Take a taxi?” you suggest sarcastically. 

“What? And get me called to the station to identify your body parts when some dude decides he wants to play cannibalistic butcher?” he screeches, and it has you wincing and grabbing onto your head at his volume. You dramatize it a little, hoping he’d shut it with his nagging if you gained some extra sympathy. He doesn’t stop talking, but he does tone it down. 

“Whatever, I’m not going out anymore.” You push your plate and bowl away as you hop off the stool and stalk off to your room, making as much noise as possible in the process. 

Your brother calls after you, but you don’t stop. Your head was pounding, 

“Are you gonna take your meds? HELLO? Or do you enjoy the feeling of having your head split open?” he slams open the door of your room mid-sentence, going on at your blanket-clad figure on the bed. 

“I’m going back to sleep.”

“No, you’re taking your fucking meds.” A cup of water is thrust into your hands as you pick up the pills from Seokmin’s open palms, swallowing before he decides to shove it down your throat himself. 

He waits on the edge of the bed, checking to make sure you actually swallowed the pill instead of hiding it under your tongue like you’ve done since you were kids. 

“I’m not stopping you from going out if that’s what you think I mean,” he starts, a lot softer this time, and you’re taken back to your conversation with Joshua last night. “You’ve been going out and coming home wasted a lot more than normal lately. I don’t know if it’s because your college agendas are finally catching up to you or what.”

“I’m just…My friends are always out and I wanna be with them, it’s normal,” you grumble, disappearing deeper into your sheets.

“You’d tell me if something was bothering you, right?” 

‘Yeah, yeah, now shoo. Your voice is making my head hurt worse, I doubt Advils are immune to your yapping.” 

“Fine, fuck you too” he mumbles, leaving the room only to pop back in a second later. “Mom called last night, told her you were at a study group. Might wanna call her back before she catches a flight herself.” 

You wave two fingers up in a salute from your flat position on the bed, hearing him close the door. You don’t sit up until you hear the TV blare from the living room, knowing he had parked himself on the couch and has his attention diverted. 

The headache wasn’t actually that bad, you just really wanted to be left alone, and your brother had a habit to do the opposite when asked, so it had to be done. 

What on Earth were you supposed to tell him, anyway? That his best friend in the whole world rejected his sister on the spot when she confessed her decades long feelings? That she was ruining her liver and kidneys every weekend over a rejection? By his best friend in the whole world?

Yeah, that’s an easy conversation. 

Snuggling into the covers you try not to think back to the abomination that was your birthday party just a few weeks ago, but your thoughts yank you there anyway, as if to remind you of every wretched detail of the encounter like it was wasn’t already burned into your frontal lobe like a brand. 

You were on a high; too happy, too excited. It’s not like you were expecting anything for your first birthday at uni anyway, you were too old for pink blowout parties and too young for the madness of college level clubbing. You were excited for takeout with your brother, to sit in front of the TV for the rest of the night, maybe even stick a candle in one of your burgers and call it your cake. Plans were changed when you walked into your home, ready to wind down for the night and celebrate in your own way. 

It was a full house, food and drinks everywhere, complete with a loud “SURPRISE” as you walk through the door. You remember hugging both your brother and Mingyu when they tell you they did all of this for you, an overwhelming feeling overcoming you as you grip them tight, hoping it’ll transfer all the gratitude you couldn’t express. 

You’re breathless as the night progresses, trying hard to focus on the conversations at hand, trying to be a good host. Failing miserably, you can’t force your gaze from wandering every few minutes, searching for Mingyu in the crowd, watching him move his mouth as he talked, throw his hair back as he laughed, smile that beautiful, beautiful smile of his, perfect teeth on display. 

It had been bliss these past few weeks, the lingering smiles he would give you, the flirtatious attempts never gone unnoticed. The smoothest of words slipping right off his tongue as he gave you eyes that twinkled and sparkled and blew air directly into the embers in your heart. You would still yourself as they would happen, like the mirage would crack and shatter if you even dared to breathe; it felt unreal. After all these years, you realised soon, Kim Mingyu may have began to like you. 

You’d be lying if you said you were completely sober when it happened, drinks were passed around and as the birthday girl you didn’t seem to have a choice to back down, already a little hot and wide eyed barely halfway through the night. 

And when Mingyu doesn’t interact with you all night, you go to him as the numbers in the house dwindled, cornering him as he collected bottles in the kitchen.

“Hey!”, he sounds enthusiastic, “You having fun yet?”

“Yeah, thanks again for doing this.” your remember fidgeting with your fingers and nails, digging them into each other as you let yourself spew. 

“Are you gonna say thank you at every chance for the next six months? It's your first birthday away from home. Besides it was Seok’s idea, I just helped out.” He had said, beaming.

“Mingyu, can I talk to you about something…?”

You sigh loudly as you replay the memory, face pushed into the covers as you bite back a scream at the blood rushing to your head. 

Stupid. Idiot. Absolutely brainless.

“Oh.” He had breathed out when you had spilled your entire heart out to him standing in that kitchen, visibly taken aback at your abruptness. “I…I’m sorry I’m not quite sure what to say.” 

You still remember that sickening feeling, that big ball of junk and emotions that sank lower and lower in your abdomen, settling a deep hurt in your chest that made it difficult to breathe. 

Laying in your bedroom, weeks after the fact, you can still feel your breathing go slightly erratic at the memory, hot tears springing your eyes, burning before you wipe them away. You were aware how baffling it was, how you were letting it affect you to this degree, but you justified it with the years you had remained quiet, yearning on the sidelines. 

You deserved to wallow in this pit. 

At least that’s what you thought. But after last night you wonder if you had stopped indulging in the sorrow and let it ruin you instead. A sigh escapes you at the thought of ending yet another night in a dirty bathroom, makeup smeared and guts removed, misery becoming the only thing you were allowed to feel in the aftermath. 

You reach for your phone on the bedside table, flicking through your unread messages, barely registering a word as you leave them opened and unanswered. There wasn’t an ounce of willpower in you even after a full night’s sleep, turning your phone off before shoving it in your bedside drawer, forgotten. You take a moment to stare at the ceiling, having no energy to get up to turn your lights off. Until the doorbell sounds. 

Of course you knew who it was the second you heard, but the voice paired with your brother’s conversing outside was enough to have you catapulting out of bed. You slap your hand over the switchboard, turning off all your lights, moving across the room to pull your curtains shut, cascading complete darkness in the room. You fly under the covers as a last effort to convince, covering your face with the sheets just as you hear a knock. 

The door creaks open slightly as Seokmin calls out your name. 

“Are you up? Mingyu’s here, he brought coffee.” He whispers slowly. You don’t respond. 

He calls out your name one more time before you hear the door click shut. You don’t move till you hear his muffled voice on the other end, “She’s knocked out, her head was hurting, better let her rest.” 

Heat pricks the sides of your face as your body finally relaxes, borderline embarrassed at how you were hiding from him like a middle schooler who thinks she’s in love. Which you were at one point; now you're a college kid who thinks she’s in love.

You try not to focus too much on the sounds coming from outside, burying under the covers to attempt at sleep for real this time. Eyes screwed shut, you can’t help but open them at every other intonation. There was no way you could figure out what they were saying if you tried, between the door and the TV, it was all a taunting buzz in your ears. 

You do end up falling asleep. But only after you hear the droning of the TV turn off, and the distinct goodbyes as the front door clicks shut. 

Keeping to your promise, you stay away from late nights for the next couple of weeks. Joshua so far as commends you for declining invitations, offering dinner on him on one particular phone call. 

“You know, I was serious when I said I was proud of you.” Joshua voices solemnly as you attempt to cut a strip of meat onto the grill. You snort as a response. 

“I wasn’t like, an alcoholic, you’re making it sound worse than it was.” 

“It was still bad for it to affect you in that way. Takes a lot to get back up from heartbreak”

“Especially one that’s lasted for nearly a decade.” You sigh as you give up on the meat, handing the scissors and tongs over. 

“Are we still talking about that?” He raises his eyebrows. 

A smile makes its way to your face, nibbling on a radish, “No.”

“Good. Because we need to talk about if we want our noodles hot or cold.”

“Seok! SEOK! Where the fuck did you put my pimple patches?” Your screams echo across the house yet garner no response. Opting to yank open the fridge, you dig through through the box of face masks to find them possibly laying at the bottom, forgotten. Seokmin bounds into the kitchen, towel in hand as he pats at his damp hair.

“What?” 

“Nothing,” you huff, shoving the unfruitful box back into the cabinet, "you used up all the patches.”

“Patches? Pimple patches? We’ve been out for a month, just use this tube in the drawer.” Pulling open the drawer, he rummages for a moment before emerging with a sickly yellow tube of what looked like poorly marketed toothpaste.

“You want me to put this on my face?” 

“Yeah, it works, zit on my nose was gone by morning.” He stuffs the tube back in the drawer not before squeezing a small amount on his fingers to dab on your face.

“Ew, get your dirty hands away from my face.” You grip his wrists before he tries to move in further. 

He does nothing but shush you, shaking off your hands as you grumble in silence, letting him finger paint on your face. You move up to fix a roller on your head, undoing it before rolling the bit back in, resulting in another “tsk” emitting form your brothers concentrated face.

“Okay, enough! I don’t have that many zits.” You pull away as Seokmin moves to wash his hands. 

“Are you going to bed right now?” He asks as you move over to the door.

“Yeah. I’m not going to sleep, though.” 

“Gyu’s coming over, you were asleep when he was here last too.” 

It seemed as though every bone in your body rattled against your flesh. 

“When is he coming?” You ask quickly, frozen in your spot. 

The doorbell rings. 

“Right now, I guess.” He snickers to himself.

You can only watch in mild horror as he moves to open the door, words escaping you. You follow behind him, trying to stop him, yet not doing much other than reach the front door yourself, fingers frozen yet mildly trembling. 

“Wait!” You finally whisper-shout, “Don’t open it!” 

Seokmin pauses to give you a look, “Why? He’s seen you look worse, it’s fine”

The door wrenches open before you can protest any further, a cartoonish moment of the hunched figure of you, hands out in a nearly there grip. You’ve failed, and the chorus of ‘hey’’s reach your ears in almost a mocking manner. There’s a conscious effort on your end to not look up too high, keeping to chest eye level for your own sanity. What you find once your vision clears from the white blur, is that there’s not one, but two people at the door. 

Mingyu’s brought a girl. 

Standing behind the door meant there was no immediate attention on you, which should have been a perfectly good opportunity for you to book it to your room, but you don’t. You stand there instead, staring at the back of their heads like a child in wonder.

Once you are noticed by your brother, he winces at your appearance, a silent apology, like he didn’t know about this new guest either. Or he was apologising for what he was about to do next, you wouldn’t know, because you wouldn’t be hearing him out when you throttle him later. 

“This is my sister” 

All three sets of eyes are on you now, a moment of silence as they take in your appearance. The grandma nightgown, in all its blue and collared glory, does absolutely nothing to boost your confidence in front of the very pretty lady, whose hair cascades down her back, whose skin stands as clear as a summer sky. 

“Hi!” She breaks the awkward silence first, “I’m Jia, it’s nice to meet you! I’ve heard a lot about the both of you.”

What?

“Mingyu has a hard time keeping his mouth shut, I’m not surprised.” Seokmin tries to joke as he motions for the couch in the centre of the room. You catch him kicking a stray sock out of the way as he urges them to sit. 

With the way your brother is acting, you don’t doubt this is his first time meeting this girl. Mingyu is yet to clarify why he would bring a friend to the house unannounced, but something tells you you already know. You remain on the sidelines, inching away to the hallway slowly, trying your hardest to not bring attention to yourself.

“I haven’t seen you around campus ever, are you new?” Seokmin prods, his voice slightly on edge. 

“Oh, um-” Jia begins but is cut off by Mingyu as he speaks for her. 

“Jia doesn’t go to our uni, we met at Seungcheol’s, we’ve been dating for a couple months.” 

There it is. 

“Oh! Couple months? How come I didn’t know?” You don’t miss the hurt laced in your brother's words, your fists clenching slightly at the oncoming silence. 

“That’s on me, sorry. It’s just…I didn’t want anyone to know ‘cause I thought he was playing around when he said he liked me, I wanted to see if he was being real or not.” She laughs nervously, and you see the back of her head move as she talked. You can’t help but note the arm that’s swung across the back of the couch where she sat. “Please don’t be mad at him! I promise it was me that stopped him.”

You don’t hear too much of what happens afterwards as you slip away into the crevice of your bedroom, standing in the entryway in absolute silence, attempting to absorb what you had just witnessed outside. Approaching the full length mirror on the other end, it takes a lot out of your to bring yourself to look straight into it, regretting it immediately as you acknowledge your appearance. 

Of course, the woman who actually succeeded in winning over the man that rejected you had to witness you in the unappealing yellow paste that your brother graciously dotted all over your face, not leaving the giant rollers in your hair to cut you any slack either. You could cry about it, but you don’t. Instead you lay back in your bed, sniffling in the dark, just as you had the last time Mingyu was over. 

It’s significantly easier to drown out the voices this time round, especially when your mind is preoccupied with a couple months. Your birthday was a couple months ago, does that mean they started dating right after that conversation? Or were they already offical and you had waltzed in with your princess dreams about your brother’s best friend being in love with you. 

It made perfect sense at the time, and no sense at all anymore as you wonder why on Earth he was being so forwardly flirty with you if there was another girl all along. There’s a bitter taste in your mouth as you recall how he had quit perceiving you altogether after that night, and you can’t help but mentally commend Jia for testing him by keeping it quiet. Especially when he was going around flirting with his best friend’s sister. 

It didn’t take long for you to guage Mingyu’s reputation when you first dropped into university, the senior having made himself a reputation none less similar than he had in high school. He was popular, but with his outgoing personality and a face like that it was hard not to be liked. Your brother was right there beside him, living it up as carefree college kids, suddenly remembering he now had a little sister to tend to. You were grateful for the both of them for being there to help you take your first baby steps, all the rites of passage and which professors sucked the least, not leaving the leaky water fountain to never drink from. 

That was when Mingyu’s (supposed) advances had begun. 

You’re projected back to first semester, when both of them had dragged you to the same couch outside, talking about an “important thing you should know”. 

“You walk into class one day, expecting nothing out of the ordinary. Your professor drones on as usual, your classmates look bored as usual, you’re tired as usual. But then!” Seokmin breathes in sharply, and you hear Mingyu bound to the other side of your vision, emerging on the opposite end of the room with a backpack swung over his shoulder. 

“The man of your dreams walks by…” Seokmin continues and you snap your head towards him in a panic, suddenly afraid he had found you out. He’s busy though, making ethereal hands in Mingyu’s general direction, while the latter walks in comedic slow motion like he’s in a K-drama b-roll, complete with passes over his hair and a nonchalant yet controlled expression. 

“What is this about?” It comes out snappier than you had intended, but you’ve had one scare already. 

“Just!” your brothers hands turn from graceful to clenched, like it was you he was trying to squish you for interrupting him, “Listen, alright?” 

“The man of your dreams walks by,” he goes back to his narrator voice, “and you wonder where he’s been all your life. You start talking, you’re enamoured. You start thinking about introducing him to your parents, what your wedding’s gonna look like, what your kids are gonna look like!” 

Your face is becoming increasingly warped the more you listen to him speak, not being able to fathom where this was going. 

“But no!” It’s Mingyu that speaks this time, pushing a jolt out of you as he slams the backpack on the floor, pointing directly at you for added effect,  “You’re better than that!”

“What the fuck-” you start, but are shushed by a physical finger on your lips as Mingyu shushes you. Seokmin slaps his hand away. 

“Our point is, that you’re probably gonna come across someone who you think is your next boyfriend.” Your brother continues, “But lucky for you, you have two seasoned professionals here to tell you that it’s nothing but fresher’s fever.” 

“It’s a new place, new people, loads of new experiences; you’re bound to latch on one of the first couple pieces of meat. Our advice is don’t, because it will happen to you. But you also now know that your just in a deluded stage right now. Give it a semester before you start dating people, trust.” Mingyu finishes for Seokmin as he thumps down on the couch next to you. 

“So all of this was just another stay away from boys lecture?” You raise your eyebrows. 

“Yes and no. You can date whoever you want,” Seokmin answers coolly before quickly adding, “but not right now.”

It was laughable, the thought of latching onto another person when you’d been trying exactly that for years. To have anyone catch your eye, to have anyone sweep you away from this madness that came in the form of Kim Mingyu. Neither of these seasoned professionals had a thing to worry about though, because you weren’t latching on anything that came out of this institute. You had already done so, in a stage more impressionable than this, years and years before any of them knew of the dangers of young girls and new boys in their vicinity. 

“Okay, I know you’re like on a self inflicted party ban and all that…” Joshua starts the second he places himself at your table, still haggard looking from jogging across campus.

“Don’t even try.” You warn with filled cheeks.

“Girl, let him finish.” Nayeon chides next to you. 

You exhale through your nose heavily, going back to pick at your tray as Joshua continues.

“Cheol’s throwing a little party tonight to celebrate the end of midterms.” He starts, “You should come, it's only gonna be a handful of people.” 

“A handful?” You repeat, unable to bite back the amusement in your voice. 

“Come on, your brother’s going as well! You’ll be fine, I promise we’ll keep you in check.” 

“I don’t need to be kept in check, I’m fine.” You grumble.

“Perfect! Nothing stopping you then, I’ll pick you both up at 8.” The words are barely out of his mouth before he’s back to sprinting out the vicinity, garnering looks from oncoming traffic, off to his next pestering destination 

“I don’t think I’d explicitly agreed.” You voice. 

“He got what he wanted.” Nayeon snorts, “Whatever, we’ll get ready at my place after this.”

“Weren’t you guys worried about me? Now you’re actively dragging me to parties.” You drop your utensils onto the tray.

“Too much of either isn’t a good thing, you went from forgetting what home looks like to exclusively holing yourself up in there.” She stabs a piece of potato with a chopstick and tries to pry it in your mouth. “Besides, Cheol’s parties are always super intimate, they’re all gonna be people you know, don’t worry.”

‘Super intimate’, as Nayeon had put it, had amounted to at least fifty people as you take in the crowd at the floor of the house. Despite not being packed to the brim, it was still coming out to look like a full house, random items already scattered across the floors in true frat party fashion. 

“Do you want a beer?” Nayeon asks, dragging you to the kitchens by the hand as you crane your neck to spot people.

“Uh, no. Is there juice?” 

“Um, there’s a questionable looking fruit punch.” she wrinkles her nose at the blaring red bowl on the counter. 

You sigh, grabbing a cup, “I’ll risk it.”

Joshua was air the second he had walked in with you, whisked away to socialize with his own hoard of acquaintances, leaving both you and Nayeon to fend for yourselves. You’re yet to spot your brother, granted you’d only been here a mere five minutes, his rowdy demeanor making him quite easy to spot in usual circumstances. 

Taking a casual sip of the electric red liquid you’re forced to make a face as you register the flavour, alerting Nayeon, who was too busy fiddling through multiple crystal bottles. 

“What? Is it bad?” 

“What the fuck is that?” You sputter in astonishment, wondering how the bowl was already half empty. “Who’s drinking this stuff?” 

She grabs the cup from you before taking a gulp herself, emerging the same gagging mess you were, eyes watering at the taste. It seemed almost comical when Seokmin shows up behind her, waiting to greet only to find both of you doubled over. His eyes move over to the potion in Nayeon’s hand and passes a knowing look.

“He’s brought The Whole Shabang out of retirement.” He states like it was the obvious answer.

Nayeon spits first, “Are we supposed to know what that means?” 

“Cheol got drunk one time in freshman year and mixed every ounce of alcohol he owned into one big bowl of despair. We retired it last year when the bowl broke and stained his counters. But anyway, beginners are supposed to dilute it before downing it.”

“That’s great and everything but why is it so red?” You ask.

Another voice speaks from behind you, turning around to find Seungcheol himself. “There’s an entire thing of food colouring in there, gives it an edge don’t you think?”

“I’m scared of you.” You deadpan, a sour expression remaining on your face. 

Seunghceol is quick to suggest the backyard for some fresh air to distract from the flavour it’s left in your mouths, commenting on the nice weather. Neither him nor your brother stick around for too long though, dipping at the holler of their names somewhere inside. You’re comfortable though, despite being blocked off by a concrete railing, the stairs make a nice haven for the both of you to lie down and stare into the clearer than usual sky. Cheol was right, it was nice outside. 

“I can’t lay down like this, I need to get a drink.” Nayeon announces not even five minutes later. 

“Why didn’t you get one when we were there?” You groan, but she doesn’t respond as she hops back inside, throwing a promise to be quick in the air behind her. 

The wall supports you as you deflate into it, legs sprawled across the steps in disarray. Nobody could see you anyway, taking full advantage as you practically manspread. The side of the pool that’s in your vision is empty by grace; calm save for the giant flamingo floaty that bobs itself into view from the edge of the wall you lean against. A breathy laugh leaves you at the sight. 

The railing on your other side is mostly concealed, you can still make out the wicker sofa set, complete with an unlit fireplace. It’s unoccupied, for the time being, as you register a conversation floating closer and closer to your ears. Wondering if Nayeon had brought friends, you stand up quickly to look over the railing to check for her face over the sliding door that leads inside. 

There’s no Nayeon in sight. 

But there is Mingyu. 

His mere presence knocks your butt back onto the concrete the second you see him stumbling over the threshold with a hoard of his friends, nothing short of his picturesque party strut. There was little reason for you to hide from him at all, considering the very possible notion that he would look right past you if you happened across his line of sight. Space floating in, he’d ignore you for your sake or his own, perhaps even both. 

For now, he’s seated himself with a few other people on the wicker sofas, leaving you hugging your knees to your chest, head on the concrete wall with the lingering feeling akin to that of a trapped mouse. Closing your eyes, you blow out air in an attempt to relax yourself, take light of the situation you’ve found yourself in. You could get up and leave in this very moment, possibly go unnoticed if you stalked back inside before they began their rattle not meant for your ears. 

And yet, you find yourself unable to move, not even when you hear their topic shift to Mingyu’s new beau. Suddenly you wish you’d moved inside the moment you saw him. 

“Was it you that stopped Jia from coming to parties?” You hear somebody ask.

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Mingyu grumbles, he pauses and you assume he’s taking a swing of his drink. “We started going out and suddenly she didn’t wanna come, that’s fine though, it isn’t her vibe anyway.”

There’s a snigger that moves across everybody seated, you hear loud thwack before Mingyu speaks again, “What’s so fucking funny?” 

“This girl’s made you work for it, huh?” 

“Isn’t that like, his brand? Don’t look at me like that, you’re the one yapping about liking a challenge all the time.”

“Yeah, remember Minji?” 

“I still think she was only pretending to not like you, her clique was always smacking at her to straighten up when you’d come over like we couldn’t see everything.” You could almost hear the eye rolling.

“Change the subject, will you?” Mingyu proposes, sounding exhausted at the prodding already.

“I apologise for the ex talk and nothing else.” 

There’s a pause for another choke of laughter across the group, and you wonder what it was that they found so funny. 

“I don’t know if I should say this…” Somebody begins, but is cut off by Mingyu.

“Then don’t say it.” He snaps, but you don’t miss his own jest. 

“I honestly thought you were gonna date Seok’s sister at some point. I mean, common consensus is that bagging your best friend’s sister is… what you’d call a challenge.”

What the fuck. 

You feel your eyes drifting closed at the turn this conversation has taken, wishing to simply fall asleep at what it’s come to. Somebody speaks up. 

“Nah, that’s like, the grand slam prize, that one comes after he’s done hanging with the side quests.” 

The situation is making itself out to be something out of a fever dream. 

Mingyu tsks, and you note a jostle happening through the gaps of the railing. “I’m leaving.” 

You find yourself hugging yourself tighter, eyes shut like he wouldn’t be able to see if you couldn’t see him. Not that it was possible unless he peered directly through the railing in his peripheral. 

“OKAY! Okay! We’re kidding.” There’s a pause. “Okay, but really…”

Another pause, this time longer. You hate how you can picture the ghost of an exasperated smile on Mingyu’s face, a bite of his lip perhaps, dejected at the shoulder with his longing, distant look. You hate how your mind fills the gaps of him the railing won’t allow you to see. 

“Seok’s not the type to beat me up if I dated his sister. And besides…” He sighs, halting his words.

“Besides what?” Somebody chimes in.

“I’m not interested in going after someone who’s chased my tail for the past fifteen years.”

There’s a chorus of hisses and oh’s, a few bounts of laughter in their disbelief. You can feel your stomach twist, heat pooling your figure. 

It would’ve been better if his words had hit you like a gong, maybe the aftermath wouldn’t have felt as horrid. But the connotations crept up on you like a million spiders making their trek up to your brain, waiting to stick their crawlers in the bits that would allow those words to hold meaning for you. You can feel the electric red of Seungcheol’s god awful concoction begin to rise up in your throat like bile; burning, imprinting. 

Mingyu had said what he had said. And everything was in it’s place, in finality. 

Despite the nearly four year age gap, you and Seokmin had co-existed without the semblance of an older-younger duo. It was mostly owed to Seokmin's shy nature, and his difficulty making solid friends. That, however, didn’t last long as your brother progressed through middle school. 

You had met Mingyu for the first time when Seokmin brought his first ever friend from school home for dinner. 

Despite being barely nine years old and half spoon fed by your mother at the same table, the prospect of Seokmin’s new friend was equal to you having a new friend – which caused enough excitement as you brought your favourite cartoon books into your brother’s room to show this new person after dinner. 

As the following year progressed, you saw less and less of your brother, and more and more of newer faces of ‘friends’ that you weren’t allowed to play with. It was distressing enough to be told by your mother that something of your brother’s was not yours, but even more so when you were kicked out of the room by Seokmin himself for the very first time.

It wasn’t as trauamtising as it felt in the moment, because you grew to find your own group of friends, doing the same as you’d kick your brother out for being annoying – except unlike you, he was doing it on purpose. 

Mingyu was a recurring face, one that was nicer to you on the days your brother was meaner, more forgiving on the days your relatively new middle school was relentless. He fit himself in your life easier than you had realised, more comfortable than you soon found you were comfortable with.

“Did you take my guitar picks?” Your brother bursts into your room just as your about to fall into your after school nap, grip loosening on the book in hand. 

Jolting awake at the sound of loud voice, you don’t respond as you attempt to orient yourself. 

“Well? Did you?” He demands again.

“What? No, I don’t know where your stupid guitar pick is.” You grumble. “Get out.”

“It’s not in my room that has to mean you took it, where is it?” 

Mingyu emerges from behind him, hand on his arm as he tries to pull his iron grip off of your doorway. “It’s probably just in your bag, you haven’t even looked!” 

Kicking the covers off, you sit up in a disarray, progressively annoyed at your brother for ruining your perfect descent into dreamland. 

“I don’t have shit, you just suck at keeping tabs on your stuff!” You grit. 

There’s a stagnant pause as he stares at you from the doorway. You can sense it coming. And it does. 

“MOM! SHE JUST SWORE!” He yells into the hallway, bounding to where your mother was, leaving an unsure Mingyu in your doorway.

Surprisingly, you were just glad he was gone, wanting to melt back into the covers. You make eye contact with Mingyu. “I really don’t have it.” 

“It’s probably in there somewhere, he’s just not looking.” He mumbles, standing a little awkward. “Um, go back to whatever it was, I’ll close your door.”

He does so, allowing you to finally slump back into your pillows to go back to your nap.

You find out quickly that you couldn't sleep after that.

The controller is becoming increasingly uncomfortable to hold. It doesn’t help that you’re brother is chewing on his four additional pieces of gum behind you on the couch, making obnoxious comments about your gaming form. 

You’re also sitting a foot away from Kim Mingyu on the floor, with whom you’re forced to battle out on Mario Kart. 

“Why’re you clicking the buttons so hard, chill out.” You heat Seokmin say, continued by his wet chomping right by your ear. 

“How hard is it to chew with your mouth closed?” Mingyu grits.

“What? Like this?” Seokmin leans over to Mingyu, chewing even louder, mouth wrenched open and closed right into his ear. Mingyu makes a sound before falling to his side, covering his ears at the ghastly sound, pushing him back with his free hand to shut him up.

You barely crack a smile at the unfolding, watching them continue to wrestle half on the floor. It’s noisy when you set your controller down, chest heavy, unfolding your legs to walk into the hallway to your room. Unnoticed. 

You only reemerge to feed yourself, inspecting the fridge for possible leftovers. Settling on an apple, you’re closing the fridge when you see Mingyu walk in, seemingly taken aback to see you there. You freeze with your mouth still attached to the apple to take a bite. 

“Oh! Where’d you go when we were playing? Didn't notice you gone till I got him to spit that wad of gum out his mouth.”

“Uh, just tired. Took a nap.” 

He hums in response and you're just about to leave when he starts talking again. 

“Hey, did you move the popcorn somewhere else? Could’ve sworn it was in here last week,” he mumbles as he rummages through a cabinet. 

“Oh. Um. It’s in the pantry.” You move before you can think, grabbing the box and slamming it on the counter, pausing briefly before reaching for the popcorn bowl and setting it on the counter next to it. “Here.”

You don’t wait for a reply before grabbing your apple and moving out the kitchen, only to bump into your brother at the door. 

“Where’ve you been?” 

“Napping,” you say, moving around him to go your own way but are stopped yet again as he calls for you. 

“We’re gonna watch a movie! You can lie on the couch.” 

Turning around, you catch sight of your brother still in the doorway, and more intriguing, Mingyu also expecting an answer from inside the kitchen behind him. You gulp as you attempt to remain casual.

“Nah, I’m good. You guys have fun.” 

You’re nearly at your door when you hear your brother speak. “She didn’t even ask what we were watching.”

Nayeon catches up with you before you notice, pulling your headphones away from your ears to announce her presence, not slowing down as you walked to campus. 

“Are you still upset about that Mingyu thing?” She asks when noting your silent demeanor. “We talked about this, come on.”

“Yeah and we concluded that it’s not an easy thing for me to just get over.” You huffed.

“You know what he’s like…” 

“Which is why I should’ve seen this all coming.” You turn around the corner with her.

“That’s not what I meant either.”

“I don’t know what came over me that day. I was doing so well for so long and I had to go ruin it because I’m – I deluded myself into thinking I had a chance.” You’re breathing heavily when you find a table in the air conditioned common room, yanking your bag off and slumping into the sofa. “None of this would’ve happened if I just shut the fuck up.” 

“What wouldn’t have happened?” Seungcheol plops down next to Nayeon, butting into the conversation. 

“Aren’t you intrigued.” Nayeon muses. 

“Especially when it’s none of my business.” 

“Charming.” 

“Anywho,” he sighs, throwing himself back against the couch. “I’ve been tasked with rounding people up for an assignment.”

“Are you gonna experiment on us?” you ask, referring to his chemistry major. 

“Nah, this is for an elective. Faculty needs volunteers for a photography class.” 

“So they need models?” You ask.

“I mean, anyone who signs up is automatically a model, so yeah they need models.” 

“Are we getting paid?” 

“You get to say you modeled for me.” 

“How convincing.” Nayeon deadpans. 

You’re stifling a snicker as you see Joshua walking up to where you were sat, planting himself next to you. 

“What’re we talking about?” He asks, pulling his laptop out almost immediately.

“Nothing, just how Seungcheol needs a reality check,” you sigh. 

He barely acknowledges the comment, going straight to business typing away. “Hey, you're staying for the summer right?” 

“Ew,” Seungcheol voices. 

“I am,” You confirm. 

“For what?” He sputters. 

“Is this you offering to pay for a round trip?” 

He silences quickly after that, giving room for Joshua to ask his next question. 

“Are your parents coming for your brother’s grad?” 

“Mhm, only for the night, though.”

“Oh, did you hear back from the bookstore too?” he asks. 

“I’m gonna apply right before break, I’m swamped right now.” 

“Let me know when you do, the restaurant might need another hire, you could work there if you want.” 

You make a face. “Appreciate the sentiment but I don’t think I’m in the right state of mind to be working in customer service.” 

Joshua’s hands freeze over his keyboard as he breathes out a delayed laugh. Nayeon mimics him.

“Right state of mind?” Seungcheol’s eyebrows are furrowed. “Wait, what were you talking about before I sat down again-” 

He’s cut off by a voice bellowing your name from across the common room. All four of you perk up at the sound, locking in on Mika aggressively pointing her wrist at you from yards away. You sit up with a jerk, checking the time. You were nearly thirty minutes late for your lecture.

“Josh, move.” You basically climb over him to get out of your seat, waving a hasty goodbye as you sprint to an exasperated Mika. 

“I’ve been waiting outside the hall for ages, you said we’d go in together!” she chides as you both speedwalk. 

“Sorry, I lost track of time…” You huff out a breath. “I just started talking about…whatever.” 

“Why’d you have that face on in there?” she asks.

“Huh? Oh, I was-”

“Nevermind, I don’t wanna know.” She picks up the pace and reaches the door before you do, rendering it impossible for you to speak to her after that. 

You’ve forgotten about it by the time you come home to an empty house, both Mika and Nayeon in your arms. It doesn’t take long for them to make themselves comfortable on the couch, looking at you expectantly like children waiting to be fed. You do that, courtesy of the half eaten pizza that sits on the coffee table. 

“I think you need to get drunk,” Nayeon voices from her end of the couch. 

Mika is immediate with her response, “Don’t encourage her.” 

“Hey!” You pout, “I haven’t gotten drunk in a while.”

“Keep it that way,” she shudders, “don’t need another Mingyu fiasco.” 

Your chewing slows at the sound of his name, a strange feeling settling in your stomach at the thought of him. Setting down your half eaten slice, you brush off your fingers. 

“I mean…” Nayeon starts after a long pause. 

“We don’t. Need another Mingyu fiasco, I mean.” You cut in. 

“If only he’d learn to shut up.” Nayeon grumbles, a sour expression on her face. 

Mika’s been shifting looks between the both of you, seemingly confused. “Am I missing something?”  

Despite not having the intention, you find yourself telling her what you heard while enclosed in the staircase. You attempt to keep it concise, for the sake of your own sanity, but Nayeon’s grumbling is only pushing you deeper into a rant. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t let a couple frustrated tears make their way down your face. 

Mika’s response as brisk as your explanation was passionate, brushing over the topic quickly before you got too heated. You appreciated it. 

“Have you considered signing up for the photography thing?” Mika asks.

“You know, I was thinking about that too.” Nayeon pulls a finger up in signed patience to wait till she finished the remaining pizza in her mouth. “You should do it. It’ll put your mind off…him. You’ll be busier too.”

“I have a million things to do, I’m busy enough.” You retort. 

“You’re busy studying at home. Where he could drop in at any point of day.” She points. 

Your open your mouth to rebut again, only to close it as you fail to find a reason to deny her point. “Okay, still!” 

“Just – think about it, okay. It’ll put more on your plate but maybe it’ll help.”

That was the last of your Mingyu talk, not that you could carry on when your brother comes slumping into the house after his class, stealing a slice of pizza as he makes his way to his room. He’s slumped at the shoulders, and you egg him to take a nap before he collapsed on the living room floor. 

Both Nayeon and Mika are quick to leave after that, leaving you with leftover pizza and your thoughts.

You sprawl your things out on the coffee table, taking advantage of the silent house to get some work done. Nayeon was right, as you think of the prospect of Mingyu entering at any given moment to bother your brother as a constant threat. 

It’s not until your prepping dinner with Seokmin that the project is brought up again.

“There’s leftover Chow Mein Mingyu made yesterday, shove that in too.” He yawns as he pushes the box over. 

You can only stare at the box in mild agitation, contemplating if you should simply chuck it into the garbage chute. Unfortunately, by experience, you knew Mingyu made really good Chow Mein, so you begrudgingly slide the opened box into the microwave to heat up, deciding you’d push Seok to eat it before you have a chance to take a bite. 

It’s silent while you eat, Seokmin still in a daze from his earlier nap, shoving spoonfuls of noodles in between bites of pizza. It’s not until your halfway through eating before he jolts up slightly like he’d just remembered something.

“Did you hear about that volunteering thing from the photography department? They want models for some project.” 

“Oh, yeah.” You pause, thinking back to what Nayeon had proposed. “Are you gonna sign up?” 

“No, but you should.”

“I don’t know, I still have a lot of prep for finals.”

“You get extra credit if it helps,” he notes. 

That was news to you. There’s a frown on your face as you deny, “No, you don’t.” 

“They’re doing it ‘cause they weren’t getting the response they wanted. I found out just now too, they’re gonna put it up on the bulletin tomorrow. Might wanna decide before then.” 

There were no questions asked after the realization, blue light of the laptop casting your face aglow in the darkened room as you hit the big blue Confirm button on the website. Skimming through the subsequent email, you find you won’t be needed till next week, the date and time making it’s way to your calendar. 

Now, if you had known what the next week truly held for you, there was no doubt you’d be sending in a cancellation email at first chance. 

But you didn’t know. So you simply went to bed, falling asleep to the vague idea of searching for modeling tips on youtube during the coming weekend, entertaining the mild possibility that this might be the thing that puts you at peace at last. 

The photography classes are held in regular lecture rooms, as you find out as you file into the sparingly filled hall at the date your calendar has graciously alerted you for. There was an image of a larger, more spacious area for a discipline pertaining to the arts, yet to be fair, the idea of having to create this form of art within a four walled containment did seem a little counter productive. 

Nonetheless, you find yourself seated in a spare chair, waiting for the clock to hit nine on a Saturday morning for the shuffling professor at the front of the room to begin. Your eyes make passovers across the gradually filling room, searching for a semblance of Seuncheol’s bright blond hair to wave him over. There’s no sign of him five minutes before the minute hit twelve, and you’re thinking about slipping to the restroom before it can to kill the remaining time. 

There’s another person filing into the room as you rise from your chair, and you pause in attempt to recognize Cheol in the grey zip up.

Except you don’t find Seungcheol, not at all. 

Mingyu is walking into the classroom, gaze sweeping across the hall as he seats himself in the front bottom row, head thrown back as he sifts through his perfect hair with his fingers. 

You aren't sure why your brows furrowed like they did, or why you planted your butt back onto the chair with the force that you did; especially when all you wanted to do was book it out of the room in full velocity. 

He was taking this class. Of course you knew that, especially when it was all he would yap about at any point he graced your presence. 

You can feel your purpose in the room fade to nothing as you register him as a unit. You want to blame someone, but you know it’s all you fault. You knew he’d be here; if your mind had only thought fit to remind you at any point in the past week. 

In regular Mingyu fashion, if he’d seen you, he does nothing to show it as you find him unraveling a loose thread off of his jacket. You keep your eyes on him, remaining mortified at your blatant disregard to the information that Mingyu was also in this class. Come to think of it, it was probably Mingyu who told Seokmin about the added credit in the first place. You want to kick yourself for not questioning your brother’s apparent magical source of information. 

There’s nothing that can be done as you feel Seungcheol finally slip into the seat next to you just as the professor in the front of the room begins to speak. You’re not in the right headspace to make conversation, so you're grateful for the small acknowledgment as the professor begins to drone. 

“Each student has been given a theme to work with, they’re all different and given to the people whom I saw fit for the job. You’ll be receiving your packets with your theme today, so remember to pick them up from the front desk before you leave,” she begins. 

“As for your models,” she switches to the next slide over to reveal a spreadsheet full of names. “Their names will be right next to yours, the photography students.” 

The entire room lurches forward as a unit, eyes squinted and whispers exchanged as they search for their partners in the sea of names. Seungcheol is zooming in on the picture he took with his phone, eyes zooming over to find his name. 

“Hey, I found yours!” he announces, moving the phone over to you. 

He’s zoomed into your full name on the screen, and your moving the picture aside to see the name across from it. Except, you find you wish you hadn’t. 

—Kim, Mingyu. 

If you needed more confirmation that the universe was simply against you, you’d gotten the message as you prayed the letters would morph into something else before your very eyes. 

You seem to have been staring at the name for too long, because Seungcheol snatches his phone back from your grip to see for himself after you refused to answer his questions of what the name next to yours was. 

“Oh, it’s Mingyu! That’s easy, you're basically related.”

You wanted to slap him. 

Before you can stop him, he’s yelling the boy’s name across the room amidst the growing chatter, the biggest, stupidest grin on his face. “Mingyu! I found your model, she’s right here! 

You wanted to squeeze Seungcheol’s neck till his head popped off. 

Mingyu turns around at the call, registering his friend’s words despite the growing noise. He registers you and you watch as he turns his head back at the projection, like he was confirming it was true. 

Of course he’s as petrified as you are, if not more. But the embarrassment of his apparent disbelief made its hot way into your stomach and chest nonetheless, your breakfast threatening to make its way back up. 

By the time the professor’s done with her bit and the room has begun to file out, you’ve found yourself standing outside the lecture hall in uncomfortable movement, shifting your weight between both feet and fiddling with the straps of your bag. Every passing face sends a jolt though your stomach as you calculate how jarring it would be if you left right this second without seeing him. 

You're counting his steps inside your head, how he’d shuffle for his name on the packet he’s meant to receive, counting in any conversation he’d start with a friend or with the professor. A thought occurs to you, and you wonder if he was searching for you inside. You’re weighing between walking inside and leaving altogether when he makes the decision for you, walking out of the room, booklet in hand. 

There goes the toast blaring its way back up your esophagus. 

“Hey,” he says unceremoniously. 

You respond with an unreasonably meek “Hi.” 

“Seok didn’t tell me you signed up for this.” He points casually. 

Well, Seok doesn’t need to tell you everything. 

“Oh, I told him while he was like half asleep, pretty sure he thought he dreamt it.”

Mingyu snorts a little at that, a slight smile appearing on his face as he pictures a sleepy Seokmin. 

“I can imagine,” he says, before he’s brought back to the matter at hand by you. 

You clear your throat before you begin to talk, expression remaining neutral. “Do we need to get started right away?” 

“Oh.” He seems a little taken aback at your forwardness. Like he didn’t know why you didn’t want to make small talk with him. “Uh, I don’t even know what theme I have yet. I’ll read over the packet and plan a couple things out before you have to come in.”

“That’s great.” You hold on the straps of your tote. “Text me when you need me.”

With that, you had spun on your heel and stalked away, not leaving room for him to retort with anything at all. You don’t look back. 

Nayeon can do nothing but gape as she watches you hold back frustrated tears, picking apart the grass under you as you curse the heavens for your horrible fate. She’s absorbing the situation as you wallow, finding the words to say.

“Fuck, this is my fault,” she breathes out.

“No!” You gasp out, furiously wiping away the irritating tears. “It’s not. I just forgot, it’s my own fault. You were right for trying to get me to do it, it just…”

“You can’t ask to change partners?” she asks.

“I can’t!” You wail, “I’m supposed to not care, how is this me not caring?” 

It was ridiculous. Truly. You were sobbing like a child over this, screaming about wanting to not care. But you did care. Too much. Nayeon can do little but hold you as you sniffle into her lap, feeling sick to your stomach at your own childish behaviour. 

“Why am I crying about this, this is stupid.”

“You’re stressed, hon, that’s it. You’ve got a lot going on and this just multiplied it.” She’s running a soothing hand over your back. “Just let it out, you need it.”

You emerge from your hunched position to sit up straight, sniffling a little less as you calm down. “Should I withdraw from the project?” 

“I mean, if you really want to,” she says softly. 

“But?” You sense her apprehension.

“But, maybe you should give it a go.” 

You can only blink at her with wet lashes.

“Think of it this way. You need to… build resistance, keep yourself around him regardless. There’s bound to come a point where you start to feel…nothing.” 

“Are you trying to work exposure therapy on me?” 

“Maybe? If that’s what it means. If you take yourself out of the project, it shows that you care. You need to pretend to not care before you can stop feeling the real thing.” 

There’s a pause as you attempt to find reason in her words.

“Listen, I may be talking out of my ass, and if you do end up doing it, it’s gonna be hard – like a lot, but–”

“No. You’re making sense.” 

“I am?” She blinks, taken aback at the realisation that you may be listening to her. You nod quietly, “You’re right, I can’t keep running away.” 

“So, you’re gonna do it?” She confirms with wide eyes.

Once again, you find it within yourself to nod. 

Yeah. You were gonna do it.

Being in Mingyu’s presence and feeling nothing may be the goal, but you realise quickly it’s going to take you a while to restrain the trailing eyes that follow him wherever he goes. Nayeon had warned you, but you realise you may be slightly ill-prepared. 

The theme is light. Vague to you but he doesn’t seem too bothered by it. He isn’t looking at you as he talks, eyes darting between the laptop screen and the plethora of papers he’s scattered on the coffee table. “I don’t really have a colour preference for this one but a a deeper blue or a purple would fit pretty well with the sunlight on here.”

You can only nod along in mild understanding, most of your effort exerted on trying to keep your eyes on the screen where he’s pulling up a color wheel. “I probably have something.” 

“Do you still have that button up Seok bought you? The one with the stripes?”

You recall the deep blue shirt your brother had gotten you for your first in class presentation, picturing it hung still in your closet. “Uh, yeah I do. I’ll wear it.”

“Bring options, whatever fits the colours. No turtlenecks or crewnecks though…” Mingyu continues to talk, taking notes for you in the process. Your mind, however, is somewhere else.

You hate how your mind takes you to a murkier place, one where the thought of him retaining memory of your closet pieces unprovoked has your neck tingling and your cheeks lifting. Trying to snap out of it before he notices your dazed expression, you pretend to flip through the couple papers in front of you, noting nothing. 

“Other than that–” he’s cut off by his phone ringing on the table. Both your gazes dart to the caller ID, and you immediately wish you hadn’t as you register the pink heart on the end. Jia was calling. 

He barely spares you a glance as he excuses himself in a mumble, something about being back in a second. You watch him leave through the cafe altogether, emerging on the other end of the glass walls in your direct vision. For the nth time that day, you find it impossible to tear your eyes away from his positively elated face, teeth out on display as talks to his girlfriend. You wonder what they’re talking about, if her face is beaming like his own, wherever she is. 

You zone out as you wonder what it’d be like to be the receiving end of an expression like that. To have something within you to be worth his smile, his mumbled pardons and his uninterrupted space. There’s a part of you that wonders if its greed – you’ve gotten to see him nearly everyday for the past decade, perhaps you’ve run your tickets dry. 

You realise quickly that Mingyu is no longer in your line of sight as you feel a ruffle on the chair as he sits back on his seat. 

“I think we can wrap up here, let me take the first couple shots before I can see where to go with it afterwards.”

You sense his eager want to leave, and you cannot help but beat him to it for your own sake. 

“Alright. I’ll see you friday then.” SLiding out of your seat, you make a halfhearted attempt at shuffling his papers in a neater pile, throwing him a half smile before grabbing your bag.

He isn’t watching you leave, you know that. Yet you find yourself refusing to slow down or look back till you round the corner, letting your shoulders finally slump and your pace to come to a temporary halt. It takes you another beat before you begin walking again, breathing in slowly as you navigate your way through the moderately crowded sidewalk. Nearly ramming into a fire hydrant, you shake off the seize that remains in your body, picking up the pace hoping it’d promote less thoughts.

It works, as you unlock your front door, finally shaking off the autopilot. Shifting to the kitchen is easy, rummaging the cabinets for your hidden stash of moonpies with the intention to devour the family box whole. You’re contemplating texting Seokmin to bring you actual food as you make your way to your bedroom, wanting nothing more than to let your covers absorb all the feelings that make you human. 

You find it unfortunate as you catch sight of yourself in the full length mirror and the outfit you’d put together before you had left. Your mind goes back to pandemonium as you take in the details, wondering why on earth you’d put in so much effort for a conversation that lasted less than an hour. You tear your eyes away before you begin to truly hate yourself, ripping your jewelry off as you make a beeline to wash your face clean of the makeup you’d put on. 

It becomes increasingly difficult to look at yourself even in the bathroom mirror, moisturizer going on more aggressively than what’s good for you. You feel a sting in the back of your eyes and owe it to the face wash. 

It’s easier once you’re in bed, your laptop at the ready, and a text on its way as you bug your brother to bring you your favorite burger and milkshake combo. You put your immediate faith in your moonpies for now as you rip the first one open, letting the sweetness bring you a deluded happiness. 

“His name hurts.” Your voice comes out echoey, the sound reverberating in the cavern of your chest. The shot on the table is inviting, but you can’t help but feel nauseous at the thought of downing it. Your fizzled out sprite is being good to you, so you let it.

“Hearing you talk about him hurts,” Mika slurs, slumping down onto the beanbag she’s dragged onto the scene, joining you and Nayeon next to the couch. 

Letting out a loud sigh that you doubt she can hear over the bass booming across the house, you settle to rest your head back on the couch backrest, staring into the ceiling. “Imagine what it’s doing to me then.”

“I don’t need to.” You can hear the exasperation in her voice. 

“Oh, hey, Hao!” Nayeon drags next to you and you lift your head up to see Mika’s boyfriend join her on the already tiny beanbag. He huffs out a hey between a slight smile, slumping almost entirely on his girlfriend. She pats his hair in silent regard. 

“I read this research paper about how they can delete the memories out of your brain squiggles,” Nayeon pops in.

“Since when do you read academic material for interest?” Minghao mumbles, fingers busy playing with Mika’s hair.

The pair continue to bicker as your eyes trail across the moderately packed house, the party looking more lowbeat than any other Seungcheol extravaganzas. Not that you were complaining, but when you spot a certain someone, it’s hard not to. 

Mingyu files into the kitchen with your brother in tow, beaming face evident over the island as he pours himself what looks like orange juice. Your mood is instantly soured.

“What study was that again?” You poke at Nayeon, the image of the man you wished for gone burned into your forebrain. She glances over to the open kitchen and realises what you’re talking about, coming around with a face of her own.

“That one’s gonna be a hard one to scrub out. But it’s okay, even the toughest stains succumb to bleach that’s strong enough,” she sighs. You’re barely listening to her analogy, not when he’s standing right there rendering it impossible for you to look anywhere else. 

“You sound like a commercial.” You can almost hear the crinkle in Mika’s nose as she comments, and you can’t help but breathe out a laugh. 

The rest continue with their conversation as you remain quiet for most of the exchange, eyes filling your heart heavy with the way they remain glued to the figure far out into the kitchen. It was less about the fact that you just wanted to look at him and more of how it was forcing you to think about your predicament; something that was weighing you down yet something you couldn’t help. 

You can’t be entirely sure how long you managed to stare without getting caught, but when Mika calls your name out harsher than expected, you snap around to divert your attention. 

“Huh?”

“Sixth time’s the charm, huh? Get it together, he’s not gonna look at you,” she huffs as she slumps back onto the beanbag, alone this time as you note that Minghao is gone.

It takes you a moment to gather what she had said, mouth gaping open and close as you try to conspire a proper response. “I wasn’t trying–”

“No. Save it. It was my fault for thinking I could sit here without having to sit through more of your Mingyu bullshit.” She’s shuffling out of her bean bag with mediocre difficulty, exasperation on her face as she trudges away to sit with her boyfriend and his friends on the seats on the middle of the floor. 

The air seems to have knocked out of your chest as you find the capacity to process what just happened. Seemingly forgotten Nayeon was also here, you note the hand she places on your elbow as a sober attempt to get you to look at her. 

The rest of the night passes in a nauseous blur, none that you could really make sense of. You bid Nayeon goodbye as you assured her you’d go home with your brother, waving goodbye to blurred taxi lights as she leaves you alone in front of a dwindling house. 

The breath you let out is shaky as your feet remain planted on the concrete, the remnants of tonight passing over you as they came. Deciding you owed it to yourself, you let the tears well up in your eyes. As tired as you were of crying over what was essentially the same thing over and over again, you let yourself tire yourself out once more. 

The party was over, and you knew that because you were walking home alone, hoping Nayeon would forgive you for lying to her. But you couldn’t possibly explain the tear stains on your cheeks to your brother, not when he knew nothing. It was better that way; you refuse to be the person that potentially ruins a friendship that’s lasted longer than any other.  

You try to keep your sniffling to a minimum as you trudge slowly in the dark, not bothering to wipe your tears. Your stomping grows louder the more you grow frustrated with your thoughts, and it proves not too well for you. There’s a pair of headlights throwing light onto the oncoming street, illuminating you in the process. You want to kick yourself as the realisation settles in, praying the car would simply pass you. Considering the late hour and the fact that you were alone is hitting you at the worst time, wondering if you could pretend to make a call as you walked. 

It’s a black sedan that rolls up next to you, slower than what’s considered a normal speed on an empty street. It honks and you nearly halt, owing to the shake that passes through your knees. It honks again, and you can’t help but look to the side to find a window rolled down. 

Mingyu sits on the driver’s seat, leaning over to the empty passenger side to grab your attention. 

“The Uber’s free! So is the driver,” he yells out the window. “Hop in.”

“I’m alright. I kinda wanna walk.” You shift your weight between your feet, the distance adding an awkward feel. 

“Wasn’t asking. It’s the middle of the night, I’m not letting you walk alone.” As he speaks, another car passes from behind him, slowing down. You note the look the other driver is giving you through the window, and it’s enough to convince you to step into Mingyu’s car. 

“I think we’re way past the point of formalities, don’t know why you hesitated.” He chuckles as he motions for you to click on your seatbelt. You fumble with it for a moment, his own fingers coming to the rescue to latch it on. You retract your fingers before they can brush with his own any further. 

Settling into your seat, you choose to look forward as he picks up speed. “Uhm, just wanted to walk, it was nice outside.”

“Take someone with you next time, it’s nearly midnight,” he warns. 

There’s a twinge of annoyance that emerges in the back of your mind for some reason, despite knowing full well that he was right. You just didn’t want to hear it from him.

It’s silent for a bit as the radio plays an uncharacteristically upbeat tune, prompting you to wonder if it was just you who felt the atmosphere pressing in on your chest.

“Did you not bring your car today?” he asks out of the blue, eyes remaining on the road as you glance up at him. One look at his side profile and you’re turning your gaze away.

“No, it’s at the workshop. I came with Nayeon.” 

“Why didn’t you leave with her?”

“I…” You pause. “I told her I was gonna go with Seok.”

“Hm. That didn’t happen.”

“It’s like I said,” you mumble.

He hums again in response, dropping the subject.

“Listen, are you…are you okay?” he starts again and it has you looking back up at him. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You try to hide the bitterness in your tone but it proves difficult.

“I couldn’t help but overhear but I was sitting right there. Hao was talking to Mika about something she’d said to you, about…” He trails off. “I mean, you looked a little upset, I just wanted to ask if you were okay.”

You bit your tongue. Hard. 

He knew you were staring at him, he knew you weren’t over him. He knew you were still standing on the same square confinement from months ago. Never changed. 

“I’m fine,” you reply, snappier than you had intended. 

“Are you sure? I felt like I should’ve said something but Nayeon was right there so I thought…” He sounds unsure and when you see him look at you, with eyes filled with an emotion that makes you nearly gag, you almost lose it. You did not want him to pity you. Nor care for you; especially when it came from a place that nullifies your feelings. You didn’t want him to care for you for the sole reason that you were his best friend’s sister. 

“Mingyu, I think it’s best if you drop it.”

“Of course. But it might help if you wanna, you know, feel your feelings.” 

Fuck no, you weren’t crying in front of him. Not when you're sure he’s noticed the tear stains on your makeup.

“Mingyu, I said drop it. I don’t need your help, I don’t need to feel anything, I need you stop feeling like you’re obligated to care about me because you’re not.” The words come tumbling out before you can stop them, irritation laced in every snap and dent.

He says your name in an attempt to smooth you over. It only lands him in more trouble.

“No, listen, I get it. You’re uncomfortable about everything but you feel like you need to check up on me at the same time, and I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to worry about that. What happened, happened, and it’s my job to pick up the pieces because it’s my fault. You don’t need to meddle.” You’re breathing hard as you finish, finally settling back in your seat. 

He’s already pulling up to your building, heat still penetrating the silence. You unbuckle your seatbelt, mumbling a thanks for the ride. 

“Seok’s staying at Cheol’s tonight,” he calls out as you shuffle out the door. “Remember to lock the door.” 

You stand sheepishly holding the open door as you nod quietly. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the shoot.”

Middle school was harder than you thought. 

Not that you expected it to be easy, but you remained hopeful nonetheless. Fifth grade came plowing for you with an unexpected vigor, which you were feeling especially as you gripped your red marked paper with a vice grip. 

It was Mingyu who had found you on the kitchen island sniffling, waiting for your mother to come home and ask you for your dreaded test results. 

You drop your head in shame (even more so) when he asks you the inevitable question of “what’s wrong?” Your voice comes out as a mumble. “I failed my first test.” 

He blinks as he stops in front of the fridge, opening it to emerge with a carton of chocolate milk and two monsters. He slides the carton over to you as he takes a seat on the other chair. 

“Well, what did you get?” he asks as he pops his can open, ears studded black from the piercings he’d gotten done. 

You mumble out the number in incoherence that has him hunching down to hear you. 

“What?” 

“A fifteen!” you finally huff out in exasperation. 

“Hm. Better than me I think I got a two at some point. Don’t worry about it, it's not the end of the world.” He says. “D’you want me to turn that into a seventy five?” 

You look up confused. “How?”

“You’ll see. Get me your test. And a red marker.” 

On that day, Mingyu aided you in your first con, pulling lines to turn the one into a seven right before your eyes. 

“There. Now don’t let her look at it too hard or check your answers. And only give it to her if she asks for it.” 

He had left back to your brother’s room with the spare can of monster, leaving you to stash your test into your bag and move to seat yourself in a more natural position. You’d gotten away with it as your mother pats you on the back for your first attempt at a fifth grade paper, leaving you with a lesson to work harder, and a memory that stayed with you for years. 

The following day is met with a pit of guilt sitting in your stomach before you could even recall the events of last night. 

There’s little that you can do to prep as you’re supposed to change at the studio anyway, pushing the remnants of your makeup products into a pouch as a second thought. Your hair seemed fine, deciding you’d see to it if it needed changing when you got there. 

You push your departure as far as you could, finding more things to do and more chores to finish before you were due to leave. It takes you a final look at the time before you finally decide to trudge to the door with your things. You cross paths with Seokmin who’s only just coming home, looking worse for wear. He barely acknowledges you as he makes a beeline for his bedroom, disappearing. 

He’s probably fine. 

By the time you get to the studio Mingyu is already in the middle of setting up, immersed in the switches behind giant studio lights. It’s dark, save for the one studio light thats already on, casting a light on the white backdrop, a single stool sits at the front. Looking around, the place casts an eerie atmosphere, the unattended stations and dark back rooms casting a shiver down your spine despite the Afternoon light outside. Perhaps you were acclimated to the hustle and bustle in behind the scene videos of photoshoots, yet here it was just you and Mingyu. 

He doesn’t notice you come in right away, and you’re thankful for the opportunity to recast your words in your head, waiting to be uttered as soon as you say your hellos. 

“Oh, hey,” he says normally. 

“Hope I’m not too late.”

“No, you’re fine, I’m nearly done setting up,” he says, as he switches the second studio light on, doubling the glow in the room. 

“Oh, okay.” Your voice comes out as an uncharacteristic whisper. “Uh, listen, Mingyu, I just wanted to apologize about last night. You were only asking and I was being too harsh.”

He picks up his back from his bent position to look at you, hand coming to rub the back of his neck. “Oh, no, don’t say that, It’s me who should be apologising. I shouldn’t have pried when you said you didn’t wanna talk about it. I’m sorry, really.” 

You're opening your mouth to rebut, nails clashing onto each other as your fidgeting gets worse, but you decide to end it. “We’re both sorry, let’s just end this here.” 

Both of you have slightly uncomfortable smiles on your faces as Mingyu continues to fidget with his cables and equipment. It went smoother than you’d thought, silently thanking him for keeping it from getting awkward – more awkward than necessary anyway. 

“These ones are gonna be basic studies, establishing the usual studio lights in the beginning before we move to the more experimental shots.” He drags his own stool forward to sit directly across from you in front of the plain white backdrop. “Did you bring another black top?”

“I did, do you want me to change?”

“Not yet.” He positions the camera higher, looking like he’s ready. “Okay, relax your body. Shoulders back, chin down. Okay, now a smile, really small, barely there.” 

He snaps his first photo and you nearly knock yourself backwards on the stool, lights going off at the shot damn near blinding you. 

“You good?”

“I thought the flash was just gonna be your camera.” You frown, coming round. 

“Nah, you’ll get used to it. Okay, back in position.”

He takes a couple more pictures, urging you to make miniscule changes to your poses, whatever feels good. You find yourself loosening up, your posture aiding you instead of working against you. “Try putting your hands on the stool, yeah like that, lean forward. Chin up a little more.”

The directions continue from behind the camera as he continues to flash away, and you do your utmost to not let the lights disorient you too much. He lets you take a break when you make a comment about the pure thermal energy in the room, your face no doubt shiny and red from the lights. You’re done after you take a couple more pictures after an outfit change, rendering you free to leave within the hour. 

“I think you’re done,” he announces, stretching as he leaves his own stool. “I’ll send you deets for tomorrow, we’ll probably get a lot more done.”

“Oh, cool.” 

Gathering your stuff doesn’t take you as you go up to tell him you’re about to leave. You find him fiddling with cables, packing everything up before leaving himself. You make a split second decision, dropping your bag before announcing yourself. 

“Let me help.”

“Huh? Oh no, it’s fine. I just need to shove them in storage.” 

“That’s alright, I’ll help. What d’you want me to do?” 

“Uh, Maybe unplug all the ports, and um, turn the lights on too, I guess. It’s gonna get dark if you don’t.”

Cleaning up was easier when those god awful studio lights weren’t overheating the entire hall, collecting cables and putting equipment back into their places. It was over before you knew it. 

“Is your car back from the workshop?” Mingyu yells from inside one of the side rooms collecting his stuff. 

“Not yet, I’m getting it back on the 15th. Ordered a cab.” 

“You’re going home from here, right?” He emerges from the room, arms in the middle of slipping into his jacket. “I’ll drive you.”

“No, it’s fine I have to meet Nayeon at uni and–”

“Even better, I was going there too. Come on, I just need to kill the lights.” 

You’re out of saviours, evident as you slide into his car, yet again with no choice. It’s meant to be a short drive, considering the studio is barely ten minutes away from where you need to be, yet it feels like an impromptu road trip with the way the roads seem to stretch. 

It’s significantly less awkward than last night, perhaps owed to him not being as inclined to make conversation, unlike last night. 

By the time he’s pulling up, you already have your bag in hand, a thank you frozen on your tongue as you register who it is that’s standing outside the library. You groan internally as you see Nayeon waiting for you, immersed in something on her phone. Praying she stays occupied, you rush your, “thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow,” as you hope she doesn’t see you slip out of the familiar car. 

She does notice. Looking up at the sound of yout door opening, she catches clear sight of you stepping out of the car, Mingyu in the driver’s seat. You can tell she’s subdued her reaction, but the eyebrows gives her away as they shoot up at the sight. Trudging up to her is a nightmare and a half, dreading the questions she’s going to ask as you hear Mingyu rev away.

“Are my eyes deceiving me?” she breathes out, eyes wide, mouth open in jest. 

“Quit it, I have work to get done.” You choose to lead her straight into the library where you know she won’t be able to ask you any more probing questions.

That doesn’t seem to sedate her though as she continues to whisper a million questions, watching you pull your stuff out.

“I had a shoot with him today, he offered to drop me off and I couldn’t say no!”

“Oh my gosh!” she exclaims a little too loud, owing a couple nasty surrounding looks her way, including yours. She continues quieter, pulling your laptop away from you so you’d pay more attention to her. “How’d it go? Did you pose all sexy for him, did he look nervous?”

“I did not pose sexy, I posed normally, because I have a conscience,” you snap, yanking your laptop back from her grip. 

She’s smiling like an idiot, unaffected by your annoyance. “Is he gonna drop you off after every shoot? Oh my god! Don’t you dare get your car from the garage, give it to Seokmin, or, or, tell them to keep it!” 

“Nayeon, shush!” It’s your turn to whisper shout at her gradually increasing volume, pushing her to quit leaning over the desks. 

“Okay, okay.” She sobers up.

“I’m supposed to be getting over him, why are you so happy about this? Indifference, remember? It was you who brought it up.”

“Yes, but you can’t tell me it doesn’t look, I don’t know, like, you know!”

Once she’s a little less giddy, you finally tell her about last night – leaving out the bit where he droppped you home for the sake of the library and its inhabitants. 

“I mean, I know we aplogised and everything, but I felt a little less… on fire around him. Other than those stupid studio lights, those were turning the place into a sauna. But I could meet his eyes without hyperventilating,” you explain, eyes downcast as you speak. 

“I imagine his eyes were covered with that camera anyway, but progress, I guess,” Nayeon comments.

“Maybe I needed to get mad at him to feel better, I don’t know. But it feels like I’m making progress for the first time.” 

“I told you this would be good for you, give it a couple more weeks and it’ll be like Mingyu never happened.” 

It takes a conscious attempt to not scoff. Like Mingyu never happened to your heart. That’s a heart you can’t recognise. 

The first time Seokmin had brought girls over was a day you couldn’t forget, no matter how hard you tried. 

You were padding down to the kitchen, still bleary eyed and pyjama clad from your nap, making a beeline for the fridge to get a glass of water. Your trip is cut short, however, when you realised the living room was not as empty as you expected. It’s a crowd (to your eleven year old self, anyway) of people your brother’s age. You catch a couple familiar faces, friends of your brother who visited often, Mingyu is part of the lumps on the couch with them. 

What stumped you, however, were the girls that were seated in between, eyes equally trained on you as everyone else in the room. 

“Oh, who’s this Seok?” one of the girls asked. 

“My little sister. D’you wanna say hi?” he asked you, neck craned to look at you. 

“Uh. Hi,” you whisper, gulping. 

There’s a chorus of hi’s that came bounding at you. You could feel the embarrassment creep up your entire body, feeling conscious for the first time in your life. They were staring at you. They were smiling, but you hated it. 

You weren’t thinking as you turned around to sprint back upstairs, not missing the tinkle of laughs coming from the living room. 

“Oh, she’s cute,” you had heard. That had you nearly starting to cry. 

You’d be lying if you said your little crush on Mingyu hadn’t started blossoming for a while at that point. Being younger meant you were constantly fighting to be seen, even more so when you’d do anything for Mingyu to look at you. Hogging your brother’s bean bag until you were kicked out, putting sparkly clips in your hair before you went to the kitchen, laughing especially loud when you knew he could hear.

And yet, despite everything, for the very first time, you hated that Mingyu was looking at you, watching you idle and awkward while he sat next to a bunch of prettier, older girls. 

That night was of many firsts, including the first time you had ever cried over Mingyu.

Mingyu claimed this was the last shoot, that he’d be done after this final set of shots. 

You’re having a hard time though, because he’s decided his studio for the day was gonna be at the top of a mountain at the asscrack of dawn. 

“We have fifteen minutes,” he announces. 

“To live?” You heave, crouching on the gravel to give your body a break. 

“Till sunrise,” he interjects, reversing to get to your crouched figure. You feel him grab hold of the straps of your bag, swinging it over his own shoulder. “Come on, just a little more.”

“You’ve been saying that for an hour.” You groan, picking yourself up off the path to resume your trudging. Mingyu stays next to you this time. 

“Did you pack your entire house in here, the fuck is this so heavy for,” he grunts. 

“You're the one asking for a bajillion outfit changes, I’m just doing what you asked.” 

“One change of clothes and a compact doesn’t weigh this much, are you disposing a body up here?” 

“Might be yours if I don't see that damn railing in a minute.” 

“I think you're hungry,” he huffs out. 

“I think I need to never agree to do this again.” 

“Salavation!” he yelps as he sees a vending machine in the distance, quite literally glowing (with its fluorescent lights). 

“I don’t need a water bottle, Mingyu, I need to lie down.” Your voice grows more gruff by the minute, legs nearly giving away. 

“No, the vending machine means…” He bounds up the last couple leaps to the glowing box with a burst of motivation. The slope turns flat at the horizon. “We’re here.” 

Nearly falling to your knees at the sight of the long awaited arrival point, you drop to a nearby bench and lay flat on the stiff wood. 

“How long till I need to look presentable? Because if it’s anything under thirty minutes, I’m tapping out.” You declare. 

“I can give you five minutes, take it or leave it.” He barely sits down as he speaks while already unzipping his camera bag. The thought of lifting your arms is excruciating, so you rest your tongue and bite back a whine. 

By the time you do find it within yourself to swing your legs back over the bench, the sky is shifting to a smoky navy, urging you to hurry up as you dry your sweat. You’re cringing as you press powder on your unclean face, but power through the final touches as you stretch while standing up straight.  

The first rays of sunlight are just coming through as Mingyu calibrates his lenses, trying to figure out the best shots in the limited time frame you have. You listen to him as he directs you where he wants you, contorting your face into something akin to faux serene. It’s near impossible when the frown has molded itself into your face after what you’ve put your body through today. 

“Think happy thoughts.” Mingyu calls out from behind his camera. 

“Oh, I’m thinking real happy thoughts. Like the ice cold shower I’m about to take when I get home. My clean bed that’s gonna be nice to me when I lay in it. The leftover pasta in the fridge. My moonpies.”

He has to bring his face away from the camera to throw his head back in a breathy laugh, smile as wide as it could go. It does things to you, but you ignore it. 

The summit isn’t entirely empty, noting a few people leaning against the railings, rendering it mostly quiet. All the more jarring becomes Mingyu’s phone as it blares into the silence, causing the both of you to jump at the sudden sound. 

He checks the caller ID only to silence it and slip it back into his pocket. 

You don’t get to ask who it was calling him so early in the morning, but get your answer when he immediately announces he’s done with his shots. The sun is higher up at this point, casting a more even orange glow across all the eye could see. 

You suppose he’s in a hurry to get home, seeing as he has someone waiting on him. “Should we leave then?” 

He swings the camera strap around his neck, forearms on the railing as he admires the view. “Give it a couple more minutes, I need to mentally prepare myself for the next hour.” 

It’s hard for you to deny that, so you let yourself place your head into your crossed arms over the railing, staring into the glow. It’s silent for a while as the rays hit your face, warming you more than you’d like. You don’t make any effort to move though, deciding to appreciate the view while it was here, doubting you’d ever make the trek up here again. Not willingly, at least. 

There’s a camera shutter that goes off next to you and you find Mingyu fidgeting with his camera as he tries to begin packing it up. You would help, but you’ve found yourself refraining from touching anything when it comes to his actual camera setup, opting to watch as he disassembles his lenses and pushes buttons to power off. 

By the time you're trudging down the path you’d come up from, it’s bright and sunny, rendering it warmer than before. Going down, however, is proving easier as you appreciate the reduced strain in your calves, letting the recent conversation take you to a smoother route. 

“When d’you think your gonna be done editing?” You ask at some point, the thought occurring to you that you’d only seen a couple pictures that he’d taken so far, oweing to his disapproval showing you all the raws before editing. 

“Kinda have to get them edited and annotated by the due date, so probably by the end of the month.” 

“D’you think I could get the ones you edit?” 

“Why? D’you wanna kickstart a portfolio?” he muses.

“I think it’s normal to ask for my pictures you took of me,” you grunt.

He laughs it off. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll send them over.” 

Mingyu doesn’t drop you off home this time, both of you slipping into your own cars at the base of the hiking trail, bidding your goodbyes. You’d gotten an earful from Nayeon for getting your car back from the garage so quickly, and while sitting in a car with him wasn’t so bad anymore, you choose to retain that distance regardless. This was work, You’re doing this because you have to, and the stupid extra credit that roped you into this in the first place.

Alas, as you start your engine, eyes cast towards Mingyu’s number plate right up front, you can’t help but feel…sad… remembering this was your last shoot. As emotionally vexing the experience was, you had grown to look forward to his discreet location pins and outfit plans, growing more comfortable with him by the meeting. 

It almost felt like you and Mingyu were friends. 

Your brother’s graduation was an ordeal to say the least. Your parents flying in was a plus, getting to see them at least once for the summer, even if it was just for the day. 

The night is wrapped up fairly quickly, a big dinner with yours and Mingyu’s family to congratulate the freed graduates from their academic shackles. It dials back when Mingyu announces he’s gonna take a summer course for now to keep himself busy, wanting to wait a little before job hunting. Seokmin seems to express the same, wanting some time off for himself before entering the corporate world.

It’s when you get home and your brother is sending you all the pictures of today that you note one that stands out. It was of you and Mingyu, an inevitable one as your parents took turns to make sure everybody got solo shots with everyone.

You’d applaud the enthusiasm, but it was particularly unfortunate for you when the camera was thrust into your hands as Mingyu and Jia posed for nearly fifty pictures. You wouldn’t mind usually, but it just felt like a little too much in the moment.

Despite everything, you find yourself clicking on the Save button on the picture where you’re smiling a little too wide right next to him, for the sake of yourself.

Summer break rolls around with no more hiccups, if you’d count finals as anything other than strenuous. You were happy, with a new job to keep you company for the next three months as you lament not being able to go home. 

Getting the job at the bookstore was easy, your shifts were reasonable and it didn’t pay half bad. You would’ve guessed they were desperate for a hire, but you appreciate the activity regardless. It’s not really hard work, you find out quickly. Manning the desk, shelving deposits and restocking supplies. Monotonous tasks yet ones that you find yourself slipping into quite easily.

After the last shoot at the mountain, it was basically radio silence from Mingyu. Not being able to catch him the rare chance he stopped by the house, both of you swamped with the end of semester throw up. You doubt he’d noticed, and you despair at the fact that you did, even if it was just a little. 

“Oh, great, you’re here!” The owner greets you as you walk into the store, all smiles. She was a sweet lady, nicer than any other boss you’d ever had. “Was just waiting for you so I could leave, my daughter has a play she’s putting on today!” 

“Oh, sorry to keep you!” You rush to set your bag down as she picks up her own things, coming around from the table to take her leave. “Hope the recital goes well, tell her I said good luck.”

“Will do.” She smiles before adding, “Oh and, somebody called an hour ago asking about our book bundles, he said he’d come in to check but he hasn’t yet. Thought I’d let you know in case he asks about the phone call.”

“Got it,” you confirm, waving as she walks out the door, “I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

Breathing out a sigh, you find yourself relatively free this afternoon, a slow weekday as you pick your current read out of your bag to get comfortable for the long shift. You’re nearly through the halfway point when you hear the first jingle of the day, the bells attached to the door making their familiar chime

“Good afternoon!” You look up to greet the customer, dog earring your book before standing up from your seat.

The person who’d walked in wasn’t just any customer, you soon realise as you recognise the familiar shag of hair. Mingyu was here. 

“Oh.” You can’t help but let it out when you register him, his own eyebrows shooting up at the sight of you behind the counter. Your next greeting comes out a little dumbly. “Hi.”

“Hey. What’re you doing here?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed as he takes you in. 

“Um,” you glance at your obvious name tag. “I work here.” 

“Oh, right, Seok mentioned you started working at a bookstore.” He throws his head back at the memory. “Hey, was it you over the phone earlier today? Didn’t sound like it.”

“Oh no, that was my boss, my shift started like an hour ago.” You confirm. 

“Ah, I see.” 

The silence is awkward for about five seconds before you jump into action. “You asked about a bundle over the phone?” 

“Right, um,” he pauses to fish his phone out his pocket, scrolling for something. “It’s Jia’s birthday coming up, and there’s this book series she’s been wanting. Here.”

You need to remind yourself to pat yourself on the back for not shaking as you received his phone, mind remaining in the moment. “Oh yeah, we have those. Let me grab ‘em for you.” 

He follows you through the columns of shelves as you navigate to find what he was looking for, stopping in front of the shelves. “There’s three of these, I can put them in a sleeve for you. Probably put a bow on it too if you want.” 

“Okay, perfect. Do you guys have LP’s too?” he asks.

“Uh, yeah. Hold on, let me put these up front.” 

You lead him to the back of the store. “The selection’s pretty small, the first shipment only came in like a month ago. I’m not sure if you’ll find what you want here.” 

“She’s been talking about getting more LP’s after she got a new record player. Hasn’t mentioned anything she wants though,” he voices, thumbing through the selection. 

“What does she listen to normally?” You ask before quickly adding, “So I can, maybe, help pick something she’d like.”

“Uh, older stuff? I should’ve snooped before coming, fuck.” He mumbles, thinking hard. “She barely plays it when I’m around but most of her LP’s are like Frank Sinatra and…Duran Duran was it?”  

“Hm…” You hum as you flick through the dated section of the stockpile, “How’s this?’

He’s taking a look at the record you’ve handed him, scanning the tracklists on the back. “I’ll get this, I guess. I can always bring her around to get more that she likes.” 

“D’you want a bow on this?” You ask, referring to the books you’re putting into the set sleeve, “You can pick your colour.”

He’s quick to pick the lilac ribbon, watching you as you tape it prettily on the box. You’re trying to curl the ribbon at the ends when he tries to make conversation. 

“When does your shift end?” 

If the man wasn’t quite literally buying a birthday present for his girlfriend (or if you had any memory of your own birthday), you’d think he was trying to hit on you. But he’s not. You know that. 

“Ten-ish. Closing’s on me so I could technically leave an hour early and no one would know.” You snort.

“Everyday?” he asks incredulously. 

“Minus weekends, the family takes care of that. They just need someone for afternoons and evenings on the weekdays. It’s not like I’m taking summer classes or anything, and it’s easy work.” 

“Well, you’ll be pleased to find out you’ll most likely be available on the 27th of August, then.” He sing songs as he fishes his phone out to pay, a cheeky air in his expression.

You blink at him in confusion, waiting for him to explain. “Was I supposed to get that?”

He pushes his shoulders back, content expression on his face as he continues. “There’s a cultural art exhibition in two months, and I, have just found out I’ve been shortlisted for a spot.” 

“A spot? Like to display your photos?!” You drop the card machine with a thud.

“Your photos. Prof liked the project so much she submitted some of ‘em as entries. It was super short notice, but they liked them, I guess.” His grin is wide, one that you find impossible to not reciprocate. “I just need you to sign a consent form and I’ll be all set to start prepping.” 

“That’s insane, Mingyu, congratulations!” You exclaim, genuinely excited. “Are you gonna be using the same pictures?”

“Yup, I just need to fix the editing with my prof before they go up. You’re the first to find out, I just got out of the meeting.” 

There’s a mix of hesitation before you utter your next proposal, a split second of bewilderment at what you were about to suggest. “Come over tonight, we can celebrate with Seok. Bring Jia along too, we can celebrate an early birthday.” 

“I’ll see, she might be taking a bus home tonight for the weekend, might have to bother you by myself.”

The ache in your cheeks didn’t stop until well after Mingyu had left with his cargo, the elated feeling remaining for even longer after the fact. There was a point where it took you convincing to rid yourself of another intrusive, uneasy feeling, like you were taking a step back by being happy at his announcement. 

It was, however, safe to call Mingyu a friend. Safe to be happy for him. Safe to have your heart swell at his achievement, having watched him work hard for it.

It was safe to feel.

This was horrible. 

Truly. 

You were trying to ignore it, the strange thumping noises coming from under your car, like it would go away if you pretended to not hear. There was a sliver of hope for you, barely five minutes away from home that you’d make it before your tire decided it had enough of trying to grab your attention. 

But then it started screeching, and you had to stop before you caused a road fire.

“Tire? Didn’t you get them changed like last month?” Seokmin asks over the phone.

“Didn’t know new tires were immune to industrial blades, too. Are you gonna tell me I got ripped off?” 

“Mingyu has a scissor jack, I’ll tell him to come to you.”

“Wait! You have a scissor jack, too! Why can’t you come?” You sputter at the sound, glancing at the 21:42 on the dial. 

“He has my scissor jack, he’ll change it for you.” He grits back. “Besides, I’m not letting this face pack go to waste I just put it on.” 

“Seok!” 

“Stay in the car, lock the doors till he gets there.” He grounds.

“Seokmin!” 

Beep. 

The bastard hung up. 

“Ugh!” you break from a tightened jaw, slamming the car door shut with passion as you huff into your seat, waiting for Mingyu. 

Was Mingyu busy at 10:30 PM on a weekday? He was, actually.

He’d scrambled to finish up the last of his meeting with his professor, wrapped up in planning for the exhibition despite the two month time frame he’d been given. Exhibitions were a lot of paperwork, as he was finding out as he sweet talks Jia over the phone, promising to be with her within the next five minutes. Well, ten maybe, he has to grab butter from the store.

She sits on the kitchen counter as Mingyu makes her favourite. A strenuous task, but he’s willing to go through the double frying to make up for the time he’s lost. It’s not until he’s doing the post dinner dishes while Jia’s picking a movie in the living room that he’s met with another dilemma to handle. 

He’s deflating as he stands, phone to ear as he listens to Seokmin about your situation. Glancing at the near 10:30 PM hand on the clock, he finds it difficult to refuse, especially when he’s told you’re alone and stranded on a highway. He thinks to Jia in the living room as he tells Seokmin he’s leaving the house to get to you.

He’d only be gone for barely 20 minutes. He’s changed plenty of tires, this should be quick and easy. 

Slipping into the living room is easy, wrapping his arms around Jia from behind is even easier. It’s when he has to open his mouth that he begins to falter. Twenty minutes, he reminds himself.

“I have two I’ve heard are really good, you can pick which one we watch first,” she voices as she fluffs the pillows on the couch, ready to tuck in for the rest of the night. 

“Babe?” 

She spins around in his arms, coming up to fluff his flat hair too. “Hm?” 

“Seok just called…”

Her face falls as he talks despite his best attempts to assure her he won’t be long. 

“Twenty minutes?” she parrots, wanting his word. 

“Fifteen.” 

Whether Mingyu would keep his word is something he’d find out, but you had kept your word to Seokmin, staying in the car, doors locked till you saw Mingyu’s car pull up behind you in the rearview. The wretched scissor jack that’s caused all of this sits in his own boot as he yanks it out to bring it over to your car, where you stand arms crossed, face dejected. 

“Were you waiting long?” He asks as he immediately crouches to fit the jack where he wants it. 

“No, not really,” you reply. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way out here, if only Seok remembered to take the stupid scissor jack–”

“No, no, it’s okay. I wasn’t doing anything.” Lies. But you already sounded apologetic and he didn’t wanna hear you apologize any further.  

“No, it’s not okay. The idiot’s relaxing with a stupid face mask on while you have to come out here and change a fucking tire, God, you have class tomorrow too, don’t you?” 

“Not until the afternoon, I’m in the clear.” He springs up from his crouched position, pulling the jack with him. “Open the boot.” 

Placing the scissor jack in your boot, he continues, a little breathless. “There, I’ll tell Seokmin I left it in your car. Or, you could do that.” 

“Thanks, Mingyu. Really.” 

He does nothing but flash a smile, doing his best to convince you you weren’t an inconvenience before having to see your apologetic face again. “Alright, I wanna see you drive off before I leave, go on.” 

By the time Mingyu’s slamming the door of the house shut, it’s eighteen minutes on the dot. Jia doesn’t say much, excited to have him back in her arms. 

“Wait!” he suddenly yelps, once he’s tucked in with her. 

“What now?” she groans. 

Mingyu’s bounding back to his bedroom, emerging a few moments later with a dark paper bag. He goes back to sit next to her on the couch, sliding the bag and its contents towards her.

“Here. We’re not gonna be together for your birthday, might as well give you your present the night before you leave.” His eyes are glinting, hopeful.

Jia expresses her thank you’s commenting on the ribbon and his LP choice, grinning widely.

Your name comes tumbling out of Mingyu’s mouth before he can stop himself. “She helped me pick it out!” 

“You…took her with you?” She asks after a moment.

“She worked at the store! I didn’t know till I went there either.” Mingyu’s voice grows increasingly enthusiastic, seemingly unaware that his girlfriend was growing slightly irritated. “I’ll take you there when you get back, the selection’s small but she’ll probably help you pick out something you’d like. I only had to give her like two names before she figured it out.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” she comments, tight smile on her lips as she collects the book sleeve and the LP, placing them back into the bag and leaving them on the floor next to her.

Mingyu is blissfully unaware of the fuel he’s added to growing embers, munching away on his popcorn, eyes trained on the TV and its stimulating colours. 

“I was talking to Jihyo the other day, super random but it came up while we were talking about you,” Jia starts experimentally. 

“Huh?” He has her attention. And when she mentions your name, the part of him that’s always wondered when she’d bring it up comes out of dormancy. 

“She said she…I don’t know, she said she liked you at some point, Like a lot, and for a while.” Jia sounds unsure, like she didn’t know if it was a good idea to bring you up. 

Mingyu sighs as he rears himself for the inevitable conversation. “It’s—well, it was—just puppy love. I was around all the time and I guess she latched, I don’t know.”

Jia pauses, eyes remanging trained on the movie. “Does it make you uncomfy? That she liked you? Maybe she still does.” 

“It doesn’t matter, does it? I’m around Seok which means I’m sometimes around her by default. Can’t help it. I mean, the photography thing kinda just happened but, I don’t really care. And she seems over it.” 

Mingyu is rambling. He can feel it. Which is why he tries to end the conversation right there, tone nonchalant as he hopes the topic breezes past. 

It doesn’t. 

“You seemed pretty adamant in leaving, though.”

“Huh?”

“When she called just now.”

“Seok called, I had his scissor jack!”

“Why couldn’t he have grabbed it for you and helped his sister himself? He has a car too.”  Jia’s paused the movie at this point, moving away from his arm she was leaning on, shifting to look at him fully. 

“It would’ve taken him forever, she was alone in the middle of a highway at nearly eleven, you wanted me to leave her there?” Mingyu finds the conversation ridiculous, and it shows in the irritation that rises in his own voice. 

“Mingyu, you can’t be upset with me right now,” she breathes out exasperated. 

“I’m not? I get that you’re upset, I haven’t been around as much but you also know what this exhibition means to me. I need to put everything I have into this and it’s only for a couple months–”

“Mingyu, it’s not just the exhibition!” 

“Jia, I can’t know if you don’t tell me what’s really bothering you, talk to me.” Mingyu’s begging at this point, wondering how it’s come to this in the first place. 

“You can’t expect me to be okay with you going around wherever, whenever, when I know what kind of lifestyle you’ve come out of not even six months ago!” 

Mingyu had come a long way from his galvanizing tendencies, doing absolutely everything he could to convince Jia he was serious about her. Unfortunately, this was not the first time his past had been brought up; in an argument or in a light hearted setting, and he wasn’t particularly fond of it. 

“Are we in six months ago? Are you saying I’ve done nothing substantial for you to think I’m still fucking around? Either give me an instance or figure out what the real issue is!” 

There’s a plaster of suffocation in the room, neither soul speaking a word. Until Jia finally speaks. “I wanna go home.”

It didn’t matter to Mingyu if she was expecting him to grovel, to ask her to stay and talk about this further. It was clear she wasn’t about to talk about anything pertinent at all, and definitely not tonight. He was tired, and frankly wanted to be alone right now.

“Fine.” 

Silence penetrates all of his air for the entire car ride up until he’s entering his apartment for the third time that day. Not bothering to clean up the living room, he thinks he does himself a service so as to not be reminded of the past couple hours. He’s casting the place in complete darkness before moving to his room. Might as well get some work done. 

There’s a conscious effort to not start slamming things, he succeeds mostly, his graphic tablet receiving the short end of the stick. Turning on his monitor, he’s met with his ongoing project still brought up on the screen.

It’s a picture of you. One he took in a greenhouse off the outskirts of the city, something you complained about extensively as the heat ruined both your mood and your hair. You were smiling regardless; a wide, happy smile as you looked into the camera, petunia’s and dahlia’s framing an illusion around your figure.

Mingyu feels the tension in his muscles begin to relax, his breathing evening out after what felt like hours. He becomes almost excited to pick up his stylus and work on the photo, the set up allowing him to dive right in. There was barely any work left, moving on as he finishes the photo and saves it. 

It isn’t until he happens to click on the the last folder, the one where you both caught the sunrise after a strenuous hike. He can’t help but break into a hint of a smile at the memory of your broken figure at the pathway, cursing him for bringing you here so early in the morning. The pictures had come out good, especially when Mingyu opens a particular photo at the bottom of the folder, an extra from his initial round of editing for his actual project. 

It’s of you (of course) with your chin tucked into your arms as you gaze at the scene from up above, beyond the railing. The sun is up higher at that point, but the cast remains as the top half of your face that wasn’t tucked in your arms is lit in an orange glow, eyes glistening like stars during the day, wide and beautiful. 

Mingyu remembers the shot. It was an accident.

In an attempt to fiddle with the settings to turn off the camera, he ended up snapping a picture instead. The distinct click was noticed, never bothering to check what came out of it when he stuffed his camera back into his bag, nor when he sifted through his SD card. 

It was like he was seeing the picture in a new light, and the potential it had to become something worth ogling at. He wonders what had come over him when he had placed the photo as a secondary option without another thought, lamenting at what could’ve been his actual final piece. 

He stares and stares, attempting to draw maps of color rendering in his mind, yet all that comes up is his eyes zeroing in on your own. How they glisten. How they sparkle.

Part 2

[hippopotamusdreamer]

SKZ Code: Behind the Scenes

genre. A (heavy), F (eventually at the end)

warnings. Cheating, gaslighting, arguing, grabbing, cursing, swearing

additional notes. Female! Reader | You/Your pronouns, reader is aged between Hyunjin and Han, includes all members of Stray Kids

pairing. Yoon Jeonghan x Reader, Platonic!Felix x Reader, ot8 x 9th member reader

w.c. 7.6K

synopsis. Things get heated as emotional problems follow Y/N on set after an overdue encounter with her boyfriend. So what happens when something happens to triggers that fresh memory?

a/n. This is my first ever "published" kpop fic...be nice to me LMAO After having watched SKZ CODE ep. 40, that scene between Hyunjin and Han really stuck with me and just would not get out of my head, thus, this is the result. Constructive criticism would be nice, I feel like I added a lot of detail and it could get muddled and just become a wall of text, let me know what you think.

Kpop Masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

This in no way reflects the actual persons involved/based in this fic, nor their actual character. This is purely fiction.

Friday, 11:53 PM, unknown club in Hongdae

There were people all around you. Many of which were bumping and grinding on each other as they enjoyed themselves in all corners of the darkened building. The bass that reverberated throughout the entire club you were currently in was thumping so loud that you couldn’t differentiate it from the wild beating of your heart. The thrumming in your body kept you grounded as you walked through the dense crowd. LEDs were blinking with multicolored filters and there were even a few fog machines that made the place more hip than cliché. Unfortunately, the constant flashing of said lights made the oncoming headache you had, worse.

God, you wanted to leave.

You weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place. But you had gotten a text from Nayeon an hour earlier that just had “???” and then immediately after a photo of what looked like your boyfriend looking really fucking cozy with some girl for someone who had supposedly stayed late for practice at his company that night.

So there you were, in some random club in Hongdae, trying to keep yourself from turning into a mess. Dating ban be damned, you weren’t the only idol that had tried to date in secret, and you certainly wouldn’t be the last. Yet in this instance, as you made your way to the second floor VIP area, maybe you should have just followed the rules instead…

Was sneaking out of your dorm at the risk of your reputation and that of your group to get some answers a good idea? Absolutely not. And having had left yours and Hyunjin’s nightly skin care routine; claiming a, now very real, headache to go there didn’t make it any better. You’d be in for the scolding of a lifetime if any of the guys were to find out you where you were.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Saturday, 12:45 AM, VIP lounge, unknown club in Hongdae

Moving past the bouncer of the VIP section, Nayeon walked up, having waited for you to come. One look at your distressed state and she quickly pulled you into a hug. Letting go and without another word she turned you to the left and you finally came face to face with what you had been hoping was misunderstanding until this very moment.

Just like it had been in the photo Nayeon had sent earlier, there he was. An overly relaxed looking Jeonghan manspreading in his seat as an unknown pretty girl, who looked far too comfortable for it to be their first time together like this, sat perched on his lap. You both watched as she leaned down to whisper in his ear, placing her hand none too subtly on his chest in the process. The grin he gave her as he wrapped his arm around her waist was what snapped you out of your stupor.

“Y/N, wait!” Nayeon yelled after you as you finally found the will to move forward. Certain now that the thrumming you felt earlier was your heart and not the music.

You were practically in front of them and yet they paid you no mind. In their own little bubble, ignorant to the storm inside you. “Yah… Yoon Jeonghan, are you fucking kidding me?”

Jeonghan glanced at you slowly, like he hadn’t a care in the world for whoever was interrupting him, only to sit up from his slouched position, eyes wide in shock. Instantly pulling away from the girl that had basically plastered herself onto him. “Y-Y/N! What are you doing here?” He managed to stutter out, frantically looking around, unsure of how you got there.

“I should be asking you the same thing. The PLEDIS building sure got a damn upgrade since the last time I was there,” the venom in your voice apparent even over the loud music.

“Baby, please, it’s not what it looks like!” He gets up from his seat to get into your personal bubble to be heard. You see from your peripheral that the girl he was with slink off to somewhere else. The booming of the music made it hard to hear him but it’s easy to tell that he was trying to make excuses. Jeonghan probably felt the same way because in the next instance he was grabbing you by the arm and all but dragged you to the outside smoking balcony. You try to jerk free but he’s stronger than you, though he is struggling.

“Let me go!”

The balcony is empty of other people surprisingly and the music is still loud out there but at least you’re able to hear each other better as he whorls around to face you.

“Not until you hear me out!”

“There’s nothing for me to hear! It looks like my boyfriend was about to get Real. Fucking. Personal. With. Someone. Else.” You punctuate each word with a jab to his chest.

He grabs on to the appendage only to then forcefully let go as he steps away from you. The tick in his jaw letting you know he was already annoyed.

Good. So were you.

“Look would you just chill the fuck out! We weren’t even doing anything.”

“…She was sitting on your lap and you weren’t doing shit about it…”

“So she was sitting on my lap, who the fuck cares?”

“I do! And as my “boyfriend”, you should have had some respect for your partner and not do shit like that! How do you think that makes me feel Jeong?”

“Oh my god babe, it’s not that serious,” he says as he rolls his eyes, as if exasperated. He raked a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his body language.

“Ok, so if you were to see me with some random guy in the position you were in just now, it’d be fine? Is what you’re telling me?” You question hypothetically while aggressively gesturing to the building behind you.

“Babe…”

“No, I want to understand. Cause you’re saying it wasn’t that bad right? So I can just go inside and find some guy to get with and you’ll be ok with it, right?”

“…You’re starting to piss me off.”

“News flash, I’m already pissed off. If Nayeon hadn’t—”

“Nayeon? Oh yeah,” he spat out as he rolled his neck, “now it makes so much fucking sense. You know she fucking hates me babe, hasn’t liked me since you introduced us eight months ago. I told you she’s not a good friend if she keeps trying to break us up.”

“Oh my god, not this again...,” Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes.

“She’s always putting shit inside your head about us! She’ll say anything—"

“That’s not the fucking point right now! The point is that if you’re willing to do this in front of people, what kind of things are you doing when no one’s a-fucking-round! I know what I saw Jeonghan!”

“Jesus fuck! I made out with someone one time at a party and now you hold it over my head!”

“Because if DK and I hadn’t’ve caught you you probably would have slept with her! You practically had your hand up her dress that time!”

“She literally means nothing to me!”

“So, you’re willing to risk our relationship for nothing?”

“You’re being so dramatic right now for no reason!”

“No reason?” You were stunned.

“It’s not that big a deal! God, if I had known that you were going to be this insecure about our relationship, I wouldn’t have even asked you out!”

“I’m only like this because of what you did!”

The both of you were far too into your heated argument to notice that the door to the balcony open and close.

Only a split second passed as Jeonghan latched onto your arm tightly again and got in your face. You whimper out at the sudden contact knowing full well you’d most likely have a hand shaped bruise to cover up later.

You wince as pain radiates up your arm.

“Let’s get one thing fucking straight—”

But he never got the chance to finish his sentence as he was forcefully yanked away from you. The familiar multicolored hair of you bandmember stands in front of you as Jeonghan nurses his now bruising cheek.

“Felix…?” You whisper in wonder. What was he doing there? How did he know where to find you? Your heart picks up from the adrenaline of this night.

“Don’t you ever put your hands on her again, do you hear me?” Felix said evenly, glaring daggers at Jeonghan. Felix may have been shorter than him but in that moment, he was the most intimidating of the two.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Saturday, 2:19 AM, Felix’s bedroom – VOCALRACHA dorm

You sat in the back of the blacked-out car that Felix has pulled up in. The driver giving the two of you a moment as Felix comforts your hunched over crying form.

You had learned that when you had first confronted Jeonghan, Nayeon had a feeling something would go wrong and immediately went to call Felix. He had been in the middle of playing one of his games when he got the call and proceeded to also sneak out if his dorm to meet her at the front of the club. From there, he got the gist of the information and made his way upstairs with the thought of being a mediator. Only with what he witnessed, it quickly put an end to that idea.

It was Felix who had opened the door to the balcony in the middle of your argument and lost it when Jeonghan put his hands on you.

After that was a bit of a blur for you as Nayeon and Felix maneuvered you through the club discreetly in case someone saw and the media get a hold of that information. All you knew is that Jeonghan tried to come at the two of you but the 63 taekwondo medal holder put him in his place. Felix eventually managed to get you out of there safely but not before letting you confirm out loud that it was officially over between you and Jeonghan.

Jeonghan was too busy writhing in pain to argue back.

So here you were, finally allowing yourself to feel all the emotions of the night, crying into Felix as he pats your hair soothingly, protective arm wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry you had to come out h-here,” you hiccup.

“It’s alright Jellybean, I’m just glad I got there in time to stop him from doing anything more to you. How’s your arm?”

Sniffling, you pull back from him and shift your arm forward. He turns on the flashlight from his phone to see and the both of you come face to face with the repercussions of angry actions. As you thought, an outline of bruised digits were beginning to form like a bad tattoo on your bicep.

He sucks a breath between his teeth as he ghosts his fingers over the bruise. He’s silent as he tries to reel in his anger as he fights himself on going back inside and beating the shit out of the other idol.

But one look at your tear-stained face stops him.

“I’ll tell Chan and Lee Know-hyung that I called you over to our dorm later so they won’t go looking for you. That way you can just stay in my room.”

“Oh Lix, you don’t have—”

“No it’s ok, I don’t think you should be alone right now and I’m pretty sure you don’t want anyone to know about what happened.”

You stay quiet because you know he’s right. Reluctantly, you nod at his offer, grateful for the angel of your group.

He gives you a small sad smile as he brings you back into his arms, placing a comforting kiss on your head. Doesn’t say a word when you quietly start to cry again; just continues to pat your hair as the driver comes back into the car and takes the both of you back to Felix’s dorm.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You spent a total of 5 days in Felix’s room, crying. You finally managed to explain to Felix that you and Jeonghan had been secretly dating for about 10 months until then but that he had already cheated one you at least once, that you know of, before at an after party of one of the award shows. One of Jeonghan’s members had been with you when you caught him in the act and had gotten you out of there before a scene was caused.

You’d forgiven him after some heavy persuasion on his part but that left you feeling insecure about the relationship since it happened just about a month ago. He’d always had anger issues, but the night at the club was the first time he ever tried to grab you like that. When Nayeon eunnie messaged you that Friday night about seeing him with a different girl this time; you had to confront him before he had a chance to deny it.

You felt bad but Felix kept reassuring you that it was ok that you stayed there and that made you want to cry more. As he promised, he messaged the oldest members of your whereabouts. And with good timing too since according to Chan, Hyunjin had went into your room Saturday morning to wake you for the morning skin routine, but you were gone and he was about ready to freak out.

After that first night, Felix came up with the plan to say that you got hit with a weird bug and that it’d be too much of a hassle to move you back to your room in the 3RACHA dorm (plus  you and Hyunjin) so you might as well just stay in his room for the time being. Minho came to check on you that night, but Felix managed to convince him that it wasn’t bad enough to go to the hospital; you just needed to rest and eat something not too heavy. It wasn’t that far off from the truth honestly, and it was a good excuse to stop anyone else from checking up on you.

So Felix’s room was now a designated “quarantine zone” and no one was allowed to go in and bother you. Felix being the only one able to go in and out since it was his room after all. Your phone had been bombarded with texts from all your members trying to check up on you, pinging every few minutes with memes and well wishes. It wasn’t until you kept getting back-to-back calls and texts from your now ex-boyfriend that you turned off your phone, not wanting to deal with him now or ever again.

Just like you thought, the bruise on your arm had gotten darker and it was easy to tell what had caused it. With just one glance at your arm, you knew that with how protective the guys were over you, that the entirety of Stray Kids would go looking for a fight with your ex and your group absolutely did not need any heat in the media right now. It was hard enough keeping Lix from going out there once he looked at your arm again and taking matters into his own hands. Let alone all eight of them if word got out.

No, you had just wanted to wallow in self-pity for now.

Currently, Felix sat next to you in bed as you lay curled up by his side. He was letting you know that Chan had stopped by again to check on you when you were asleep earlier and had left you your designated SKZOO, a bear cub named Gom-N/N-ie, to “help you feel bettah.” You felt guilty for lying to him, all of them really, after that while accepting your SKZOO from the sunshine man. Bringing it to your chest, you bury your face in the familiar feeling of your plushie.

“You know you don’t have to go tomorrow, right? We can tell the managers that you’re sick, too,” Felix’s deep voice broke through the quiet of the room from his spot next to you as he gently combed his fingers through your hair. Tomorrow all of you were to begin shooting for a special new episode of SKZ Code for Chuseok. You’d completely forgot about it until you overheard Minho and Innie talking about it outside of the door earlier.

You were quiet for a moment, contemplating on what you should say and do. You know you can’t keep hiding out in Felix’s room like this, it’s not fair to him. He doesn’t like lying to the other members either yet is doing it just for your sake. He’s been working hard to deflect any and all questions, comments and concerns about your wellbeing while also placating everyone else. You’ve definitely put your younger member in a difficult position.

You owe him a lot, your little sunshine.

“…I’ll go.”

His hand stills in your hair, waiting to see if you’ll say anything else.

“I’ll go with everyone tomorrow. You’re probably sick of me being in here anyways,” you quietly laugh out.

“Naur, what?” His Aussie accent coming out as he switches from Korean to English and back again. “I’m not sick of you, I could never be. If anything, the others are jealous cause I’m the only one that’s gotten to see you!”

“That’s such a lie, Lee Yongbok!” you finally laugh out loud for the first time since Friday night while swatting him in the leg playfully.

“It’s true, noona! Binnie Hyung was about ready to tackle me to get inside the room yesterday!”

The image alone of your buff bun trying to tackle your sunshine lad had you in stitches. What you didn’t see was the loving gaze of said sunshine, glad to see you at least somewhat happy again after everything that’s happened.

For this moment in time, that’s all he could ask for.

Felix gently grazes his fingers over your bruised arm, his smile slightly faltering at what he sees. Moving his hand back to your hair, he gently pulls a few strands just to get your attention.

“It’s gonna be ok, you know. I’ll be there to help you if you need it, alright? You’re not gonna be alone.”

“I know Lix…thank you. For everything.,” you respond quietly.

His only action is to bend down and give you another comforting forehead kiss. The two of you remain quiet for the rest of the night until it was time for bed.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 8:15 AM, VOCALRACHA dorm

As soon as you followed Felix out of the bedroom, you were accosted by the one and only  maknae on top.

“Noona!” Jeongin yelled out, too loud for what time it was. “Are you feeling better? Do you need more medicine, a doctor?”

“Yah! Let her breathe.” The three of you jump in the middle of the hallway as the admonishing tone of Minho could be distinguished from the kitchen. He’d probably heard Innie from all the way over there.

Chuckling, you give him a small smile and a pat to his head to calm him down.

“I’m ok right now Innie, thank you for checking up on me.”

“You really had us worried noona, Lee Know-hyung was about to burst in there and take you to the hospital himself as soon as he found out you weren’t feeling good if it weren’t for Felix hyung.”

You’d figured something like that was bound to happen. You were even more grateful to Felix for all his efforts. You giggle at his comment and the three of you continue to the kitchen where Seungmin was also waiting.

“Morning everyone,” you greeted, sitting down next to the second youngest of you all.

“Are you sure you’re feeling ok enough to shoot today?” Seungmin asks quietly while placing a cup of juice in front of you which you gratefully take. You nod in agreeance as a bowl of porridge is placed in front of you. Minho pats your head before walking away to get the other dishes for breakfast.

“We’ll let the director-nim know that you should take it easier today at least,” he says while serving the rest of the guys at the table. Before you can protest, he sends you a heated look that leaves no room for argument.

With a twitch to your lips, you can’t help but to agree with him too. “I understand, thank you for breakfast.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 11:15 AM – SKZ Code shoot location, dressing room 1

Meeting the other half of your group went just about the same. Except more scolding from Hyunjin for skipping out on your daily routine. Although that was mostly an excuse because he was just so worried when he didn’t see you in your room that first morning.

“Really Y/N-ie, you should have messaged me first!” the pout on his lips not hard to find as he tugs on your sleeve.

“Y/N-ah, you should have seen him!” the boisterous voice of Changbin joins the two of you as you sit in your designated dressing room waiting for your leader’s return. The two of them immediately ambushing you, much like Jeongin this morning, upon your arrival. “He wouldn’t stop bothering Channie hyung for information on how you were doing!”

That evokes the lankier one of the two to get flustered and from there the two start a playful argument of no-I-wasn’t’s and yes-you-were’s. Just being with them again really did set your mind and heart at easy after the past couple of days. Not to mention a good distraction.

A quiet “noona” catches your attention from the squabble in front of you and has you turning to face Han questioningly.

“I brought you a red ginseng drink to keep your health up today.”

You wanted to cry again for an altogether different reason. Your members cared for you so much, each in their own different ways. You don’t know what you’d do without them.

“Ahh, thank you, Hannie. I’ll drink this right now.” The initial taste of the ginger is gross but it had a hint of sweetness at the end so the overall drink wasn’t too bad. Especially if you try to take it all in one go.

Han sits next to you on the couch, Felix following shortly after, as I.N and Minho join in on the fray to annoy the already hyped-up boys. Although they could all be loud and wild sometimes, it was just a part of their charm.

Chan comes back into the room about 5 minutes later gaining everyone’s attention.

“Alright, I got everything squared away with the director and producers. Y/N, they know you’re just getting better,” he states, staring directly at you as if he—, no there was no way, right? “So, you’re going to be given more of the easier things to do alright?”

The panic in your head only allows you to nod at him as you grab Felix’s hand for a quiet support. He doesn’t skip a beat in intertwining your hands together.

“Great, we’ve got 10 minutes before they want us to start going to make up and changing. Then we’re all going to film an intro piece for the episode. Anyone have any questions or problems with that?

When no one responded, Chan just nods and heads to the far corner and sits with his phone for a bit. You can’t help but think you feel his gaze every once in a while but brush it off as paranoia.

The time eventually comes to split off as the boys go to their own designated dressing room and you stay in the current one. The stylists helping you to get ready for what is surely to be an interesting shoot if the hanbok you have to wear is anything to go off of.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 1:15 PM – SKZ Code shoot location

[I.N - Lee Know's younger sister, Yongbok and Y/N's aunt]

[Changbin - High school jock / Always steps up to keep his family together]

[HAN - A sweet but strict father (But somewhat seems polite)]

[Hyunjin - The sassy mother]

[Lee Know - A tough woman but a lenient mother to Yongbok and Y/N]

[Seungmin - Survives through the attacks by Lee Know, I.N, and daughter’s Y/N and Yongbok]

[Yongbok - Sassy and brave like his mom, sister, and aunt]

[Bang Chan - The youngest son, loves his mom the most and hates his brother / Is always losing out to cousin Yongbok]

[Y/N – The exasperated oldest of the grandkids back from university/ Yongbok’s sister]

One rainy Chuseok morning, the SKZ Family are gathering in a long while today CHUSEOK SPECIAL : SKZ Family Returns

You stand off to the side, waiting for your cue to join, with the rest of the group as Channie and Felix do the beginning of the intro skit. It’s hard to keep the giggles in with how cute the both of them look and act.

“Hi...,” Chan started out shyly.

“Hi!” Felix sassed out immediately in response.

“How old are you?”

Felix counts slowly with his fingers, “…Three. How about you?”

“I’m five. I’m older than you.”

Felix plucks out two more digits to make five on his hand.

“You’re right.”

“Mm”

“You don’t look older though.”

“Why are you talking down to me?”

“Mind your own business.”

“Don’t talk down to me!”

“Don’t yell!”

“Okay…,” Chan whispers out. “Mommy!”

“Daddy!”

They both start crying and that’s your you cue to walk into the frame behind them.

“Hey! Stop crying!”

“Noona!” “Eunnie!”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Filming was going smoothly so far. It was just the beginning though so nothing too taxing had happened yet. Felix just finished introducing himself as three-year-old Yongbok who gets her good looks from her mom and wants to live with her mother after their divorce.

“Waaah, my little sister is so cute,” you say out loud with a smile, Felix sticking his tongue out at you in response.

“Yes, both of my daughters are so cute,” Lee Know says while pinching your cheek since you sat beside him. There went your smile.

“Ahh! Mom!”

“Y/N-ie, it’s your turn to introduce yourself,” Seungmin, as your father, says not even bothering to help you out. You make a noncommittal sound as you fight with Lee Know to let go of your cheek still. More than half the guys laughing at your antics.

“Mom, please!”

“Ohh, but how can I let go of these cheeks huh,” he says in a babying tone, as he does in fact, let you go.

You rub your cheek as you sit down on the stool and face the proper direction.

“Hello, I’m Yongbok’s older sister, Y/N. I’m tirelessly working on maintaining my high marks in school but currently on break from university. So I’m glad to be home and able to spend this time with my family.”

“You get you book smarts from your dad,” Han says chuckling.

“And your street smarts from your mom,” Seungmin joins in. Lee Know, jokingly takes the bubble gun blower in front of him and aims it at his ‘husband’.

“That’s right, so you better watch what you say.”

You’re laughing at the scene before you as Hyunjin continues the skit, “Y/N-ie, what are you studying in college?”

“Uhh,” you didn’t really have a concept for this character, until you lock eyes with Chan and then the kiddie computer in front of him. “I’m studying…m-music producing?” you get out before laughing since producing was certainly not your forte. And everyone in front of you knew that.

“Noona is so cool,” Chan says from his spot on the ground. “Better than my older brother.”

“Aww, thanks Channie,” you beam at him as he beams back.

“Yah Bang Chan!” Binnie yells from behind him before yelling in pain because Chan leaned back against his legs.

“Changbin, don’t yell at you brother,” Hyunjin says as his mom.

“Mmm, my daughter is so talented. Getting in the best university of the country, getting good grades and look at her face, just like me,” He strikes a little pose. “Maybe next holiday she’ll bring home a boyfriend,” Lee Know continues in character.

The smile on your face freezes as your heart zings in pain. You’ve become still in your seat as you feel Felix’s eyes on you. He being the only ones to notice your hands balling into fists on your skirt.

“…Mom,” you start off slowly. Your hesitancy easily mistakable for your character’s young adult/college student love life being interrogated by their parent. “That’s…”

“She doesn’t need to be dating in college,” Seungmin cuts you off. “We met in college and now we’re getting a divorce!”

“Yeah but she won’t meet a mistake like you and go through any hardships. So she’ll be fine .”

Grin faltering, you begin to bite the inside of your lip to stop your eyes from getting glossy. Your nose starting to sting, a tale tell sign that you wanted to cry. Your actual hardships flashing in your mind.

“Mommy, daddy, don’t fight,” Felix tries to distract them.

“We’re not fighting,” Lee Know quickly responds as you get up from your seat to switch places with him. Felix quickly looping his arm around yours, taking your hand in his, giving it a quick squeeze.

You give him one back as you stare at a spot by your feet.

.

.

.

Despite the earlier hiccup, everything was going fine. Both Lee Know and Seungmin went on to introduce themselves, which was a skit about how Lee Know got married for money and that they were in the process of getting a divorce more than anything. And then Innie looking out for his nieces because what was said in front of them.

It was then decided that Yongbok was going with Lee Know and you were going with Seungmin. Both kids pouting at this information for being separated.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Next up was Han, who’s outfit immediately got torn to pieces by everyone in the room. Him trying to explain that he got his style from his father caused everyone to derail in laughter.

He brings back everyone’s attention by restarting his introduction.

“I’m Yongbok and Y/N-ie’s uncle, but I could be their new father.”

“Their new father?” Lee Know questions immediately as you and Felix looked shocked at him.

“I mean, I’ll be that much kinder to them.”

A few of the members understand what he means by that and Hyunjin speaks up in relief, “I was worried.”

“Hey, just a few days ago,” Seungmin speaks up from beside you asking a seemingly innocent question until it wasn’t. “Did you enjoy dinner with the friend I introduced to you?”

There was a pause in the room. Han looking a little shell-shocked as he responds.

“Why are you mentioning that now?”

Everyone’s quiet as Hyunjin gets up from his seated position. Your heartbeat picking up, flashes of your very recent tragedy of a relationship flashing in your mind. All the heartache came rushing back as the scene before you kept unfolding. Your heartbeat picking up in your chest as you look between the two.

“What does that mean?” Hyunjin asked cluelessly.

“You knew mom’s a jealous person!” Changbin yells from his spot next to I.N.

You can’t say anything as the ball of emotions in your throat gets bigger. Felix tries to comfort you but gets pulled away by Lee Know who’s trying to cover his eyes.

“Close your eyes and open your nose,” he says to Felix. If only you could shut out the blood rushing in your ears.

The deep breath that Hyunjin takes is something you felt from deep within your core. “Try explaining yourself.”

“What?”

“Try explaining.”

“You didn’t tell her?” Seungmin jumps in with a grin, making the situation worse. “I thought you did.”

It’s a joke. It’s a joke. It’s a joke.

You repeat to yourself as you try to control your breathing. It’s not their fault that you basically went through something so distressingly similar not even a week ago and they didn’t know about it. Staring at your lap, your hands begin to tremble and you can just feel your lips wobbling.

“Honey,” Han laughs out nervously.

“Was she prettier than me?”

You bring your hands up to cover part of your face. That had been one of many questions that had been plaguing you since the first time Jeonghan had cheated on you. You never got a good look at the first girl and the second girl was definitely pretty to you. You close your eyes, eyebrows furrowing, to try to block out the scene. You hope they can’t here you sniffling.

“…Yaaahh,” is all that Han can respond with, wanting to avoid answering the question.

Did he even feel guilty for what he did? Or did he just move on as if the last 10 months together didn’t mean anything?

 A warm hand on your knee makes you open your eyes and you’re met with Chan’s concerned gaze as your eyesight becomes blurry with the tears quickly gathering there. His concern quickly becomes full on worry as a single tear drops down your cheek.

You needed to get out of there, quickly. It was a wonder how the others haven’t picked up on how upset you’re getting.

“Mom, no one’s prettier than you,” Changbin pipes up as he stands up next to Hyunjin.

“That’s right!”

Did Jeonghan ask his members not to tell you anything? Were they in on everything?

 “Lee Know…?” Han questions.

“Huh?”

“Don’t tell them we met yesterday.”

Would they have told you if they knew? Or did they all laugh about you behind their backs? Did Jeonghan even like you, or did he just keep you around because you were convenient?

This endless cycle of negative questions kept spiraling in your mind as the skit the boys were doing continued to play out before you.

Lee Know, with a grin on his face, turns to look at Hyunjin who’s sat down next to Seungmin again. “It’s fine, I saw someone today too.” Hyunjin says in retaliation as he grabs onto Seungmin.

“Wait a minute…” Han starts but you’ve had enough by this point. The sob you try to hide was heard throughout the group and everyone freezes.

You hurriedly get up from your spot between Seungmin and Felix and trip twice trying to get out of there. The chaos that ensues as the fabric of your hanbok getting caught under your foot was instantaneous as Chan, Changbin, and Felix immediately try to catch you. The small leg space not making it easy to leave quickly.

“Noona?” I.N asks fearfully, breaking character as he sees the state that you’re in.

“Y/N-ah?” Minho asks from his side of the couch starting to get up from his seat.

Han, Seungmin, and Hyunjin quiet in their shock of what’s happening.

“Sorry—,  I—, Please…,” you sob out as you finally get out of the cramped space. Felix and Chan following right behind you as you run to the restroom to lock yourself in there. The door closing in both of their faces. The brief look at your expression, blotchy and covered in tears, breaking their hearts.

You hug yourself as you slide down against the door, finally allowing yourself to cry fully. Even through your sobs, you can hear the other members coming up to the other side of the door to check on you. You could faintly make out the deep timbre of Felix’s voice most likely trying to diffuse the situation which makes you cry more. You weren’t ready to face any of this, or them, now. Should have just stayed home instead of making a mess like this.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you heard a gentle knock on the door behind you. Your tears still flowing slowly but at least you weren’t full on sobbing now. Sniffling, you’re hesitant as you look towards the locked doorknob.

“Y/N-ah, it’s just me,” Chan says from the other side. “Everyone else went to go talk to the manager and director to give us a break right now.”

Not saying anything, he clears his throat before asking quietly, “Do you think you can let me in?”

The double entendre isn’t lost on you. Whether Chan knew what he said or not was unknown to you. With some tentativeness, you manage to wiggle to the wall to be able to unlock and open the door for him.

Chan slips into the restroom and closes the door swiftly behind him. You look small to him as you sat huddled into yourself on the ground. Not like your usual boisterous self. He doesn’t say anything as he sits down next to you. Doesn’t pressure you to say anything, either. Just sits with you, waiting patiently for you to be comfortable enough to tell him what’s wrong.

So you sit there in silence for a few moments more. Trying to gather the courage to lay yourself emotionally bare to your leader. You pick at the fabric you have on, sniffling every now and then until Chan gently places his hand over yours in comfort. And to probably stop you from tearing a hole in your clothes…

He lets you play with his hand until you manage to take a deep breath. For the second time since the whole fiasco happened, you find yourself confiding your problem with a member. Going into a bit more detail than what you did with Felix.

You told Chan everything while on the floor in that little restroom.

How you first met Jeonghan, how you kept bumping into him after the shows you all did, how you ended up exchanging numbers. To how you kept in touch after that, kept meeting up until he eventually asked you out. Occasionally sneaking out of the dorm to meet up with him at his insistence.

You thought Chan would get mad at that, but he didn’t say anything. Just squeezed your hand to get you to continue with your story.

You told Chan how you caught Jeonghan cheating the first time, and how DK all but dragged you out of there but it didn’t even matter because you saw everything. That messed you up mentally and was the reason why you had messed up a lot during dance practice the next day.

Chan remembers the day you were talking about. He thought something was wrong but kept it to himself, hoping you’d come talk to him about it, but you never did.

You explained the fight that happened a week after catching him back then. How you eventually, and stupidly, ended up forgiving him and continuing the relationship only for him to go behind your back and do it again a couple of days ago.

“So you weren’t sick?” he cuts in, finally breaking his silence.

“I mean…not in the contagious sense…,” you explain while turning to him. He nods, letting you continue as he tries to wipe the dried tears off your face.

“So yeah, Nayeon called me up that Friday night and I had to sneak out to Hongdae. Sorry…about that by the way…,” you clear your throat, avoiding eye contact with him altogether. “So I saw him literally in the act again and had to confront him about it this time. We ended up going outside and basically just having an all-out screaming match with each other. Where, by the way, he tried to gaslight the shit out of me, but it didn’t work. Thankfully, Felix showed up when he did though because Jeonghan ended up grabbing me really hard. Who knows what he could have done if Lix hadn’t gotten there in time.”

You let go of Chan’s hand, which was still intertwined with yours, to rub against your bruised shoulder.

“Wait…he put his hands on you?”

You don’t pick up on his tone as you nod and take off the jeogori jacket layer of your hanbok. Presenting your, now, heavily bruised arm, Chan takes it delicately in his hands.

“I asked the stylist to try to use coverup on it, but it was just so dark and it still hurt so she couldn’t do much about it in the end.”

Gently, he touches the colorfully marred skin not saying a word, his jaw ticking in anger at what he’s seeing.

You don’t even get a word out before he’s up and bolting out of the restroom. Face clouded in rage.

“Ch-Chan!” Scrambling, you grab the jeogori from the ground and run after him, not even bothering to put it back on. “Channie, wait!”

The other members of your group had managed to clear the room of the staff and had been hovering close the door the entire time, waiting patiently for the two of you to come out. What they weren’t expecting was an infuriated Chan and an anxious you to come out of there.

“What’s happening,” Changbin asked, lowkey getting worked up just seeing his leader on edge.

“I’m gonna kill him,” is all Chan says.

“Who?” Han asks, also getting anxious.

“Noona, what happened to your arm?” Innie asks from beside you, gently grabbing your bruised arm. That captures everyone else’s attention. Your face pales as you realize your mistake.

“Is that a bruise?” “Why does it look like a hand?” “Who the hell touched you?” “Noona, are you ok?”

“I— ,” you’re on the verge of panicking, not knowing what to do.

This catches Chan’s attention and breaks the trance of rage he’s in. He makes his way back to you and brings you into a big hug. He holds you in his arms as you try to hide away from everyone’s prying eyes.

But honestly, they’re just so worried about you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Channie whispers into your hair. Shaking your head, you understand everyone’s concerns, you just wish it wasn’t revealed this way.

Keeping your face in Chan’s chest to hide, your muffled response is heard. “Long story short, I got into it with an ex a couple of days ago because he was cheating and he…put his hands on me…”

Just like you thought, they were all visibly upset for you.

“This happened to you…and I was…” Han became visibly pale compared to the others as his actions up until you ran out sprang to his mind. That prompted the other boys, besides Felix, to realize why you had gotten upset enough to leave the set in the first place. All of them immediately apologizing to you, getting upset with themselves and begging for your forgiveness.

“Who is it?” Seungmin asks menacingly from somewhere behind you, voice quivering with emotion. Guard dog mode being activated.

“No, guys—”

“He’s gonna wish he only got a bruised arm once I’m done with him,” Changbin says while rolling his neck in annoyance now. Minho and Felix are taking off their own hanbok’s as I.N and Hyunjin stretch out themselves, preparing for a beatdown.

“Noona, seriously, who did this to you?” Han asks you quietly next to you, mood sad yet protective.

“Guys really, there’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t know what was going on, you don’t have to do anything,” You pipe up, finally pulling away from Chan a little. His arms tighten around you slightly, not wanting to let you go fully.

“Y/N-ah, we have every right to want to have your back on this. He’s not gonna get away with putting his hands on you,” Chan explains to you still upset about all the information that you’ve shared with him.

“No, I get that, I swear,” you rotate in his arms to face the others. “I appreciate all of you wanting to go and kick his ass. But I swear it’s not necessary. Felix already beat the shit out of him. His company put out a statement saying he’s taking a break for a bit for ‘health reasons’.”

All of you turn to Felix, who’s now taking off his headband, cool expression on his face. “I’m not against kicking his ass again, Jellybean.”

You stare at him dumbfounded until you burst into laughter because of course he wouldn’t. None of them would be. Because this is your family away from family. They’re dead set in wanting to protect you, and each other, from any and everything that could be harmful.

The others stare at you as if you’ve finally lost your mind which prompts you to just say, “I love you guys.”

Felix, besides Chan who is still holding you, is the first to step up and give you a very much needed hug. A little confused, the rest of the guys follow suit and you all end up in one massive hug.

Until one of the younger boys starts fighting with Changbin and they all break away.

“Don’t think this lets you off the hook for sneaking out of the dorm, Y/N-ah,” Chan says out loud from behind you as you’re still wrapped in his arms.

“You did what?!” Minho could be heard yelling, which causes you to groan.

© hippopotamusdreamer, est 2024. all rights reserved.

[herrscherofinsanity]

Anything for you

Summary: Nayeon would do anything for her girlfriend, even getting over some of her biggest pet peeves.

Fluff

Im Nayeon x fem!reader

Word count: 1.4k

A/N: This is me being kinda back. In honor of Twice's 8th anniversary I wanted to write something for my ultimate bias; I'll be back simping for the aespa girls soon, I have lots of ideas... I just need to find time to write them. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and also thank you for reading!

____________________

“Hey can you pause the movie for a second? I really need to go to the bathroom”, Momo whined as she got up from the couch making the other girls groan.

“You always do this!”

“It was just getting to the good part!”

“Can we kick her out?”

“Is one night of peace and quiet too much to ask?”

You chuckled, watching the chaos unfold; a warm feeling spreading through your chest when you felt your girlfriend’s arms wrapping around your waist in a tight hold. You turned your head towards her, planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

“You find this amusing?” Nayeon whispered, not wanting to draw unwanted attention towards the two of you.

“I do” you whispered back, a playful grin on your lips, “you girls have quite the bond, I’m jealous”.

“There’s no need to be jealous, babe” she said, kissing your cheek “you’re my favorite anyway”.

Before you could reply, another voice cut you off. “What do you mean she’s your favorite?!” Chaeyoung complained, wanting more drama to unfold.

“Jihyo, the couple is being annoying… again”, Tzuyu said.

“Oh, leave them alone” Sana said, your girlfriend sent her a grateful smile, but Sana’s sentence wasn’t over yet. “Nayeon can’t help the fact that she’s whipped”.

The members laughed, teasing the two of you relentlessly. Your girlfriend shot you a defeated look, so much for spending a relaxing time together without any interruptions.

“What are we talking about?”, Momo asked as she made her way back from the bathroom.

“Nayeon being stupidly in love with y/n” Jeongyeon replied nonchalantly; your girlfriend silently sulked behind you.

“If you don’t mind, can I ask you two something?”, Mina looked towards you, a curious expression on her face.

You sent her a gentle smile, encouraging her to ask her question.

“When did you realize you were in love with each other?”.

An innocent question, but you felt as if you were about to go into cardiac arrest with the way your heart dropped. Nayeon wasn’t that far behind you, she felt as if the living room started spinning. On the other hand, both of your reactions left the girls feeling clueless. Why were you being so awkward? Surely you two had already… wait.

“W-well, we haven’t-” Nayeon began.

“Actually, I know the answer to that question!” Jihyo exclaimed, a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

“What could you possibly be talking about?” Nayeon hissed, shooting her fellow member a suspicious look; the whole interaction caught your attention.

“I would also like to know” you cleared your throat “…please”.

Nayeon looked at you with what you could only describe as pure panic, “baby, I really don’t think-”.

“Jihyo! What are you stalling for?” Jeongyeon exclaimed.

“Yeah! Go ahead and tell us!”

“Okay!” Jihyo exclaimed, clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Gather ‘round kids! This is the story of how I realized Nayeon was without a doubt, head over heels in love with y/n!”.

____________________

Two months ago.

"You can't be serious".

"I swear! They kept calling us 'wig group', Sana was about ready to lose it" your girlfriend, Nayeon said, her tone full of amusement.

You laughed at her story, not fully believing it, but still amused by how creative her fans could be.

Im Nayeon, better known as Twice’s Nayeon, but to you she simply was Nayeon; the same girl who nervously asked you to be her girlfriend 3 months ago.

You two were introduced by your mutual friend, Yeri who had spent weeks going on and on about how she knew the perfect person for you to go out with.  You were incredibly hesitant, but you eventually caved and agreed to give Yeri’s friend a chance.

Nayeon surprised you in the best of ways; after your first date, you couldn’t help but agree with Yeri, she really was the perfect person for you. The loud girl carved a permanent place in your heart for herself and nothing could come between the two of you; not the hate comments, not your companies, and definitely not the malicious rumors surrounding your relationship. Being with Nayeon was definitely worth it.

“We should get going, babe”, she said with a sad smile “you have a photoshoot and I’ve got an interview; we can’t stay any longer”.

As if to mock her, right in that second it began to pour. Nayeon looked at you in shock, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the troubled expression she wore. You knew perfectly well you would have to find a way to leave the small café you were currently hanging out at, your schedules depended on it, but still, a few extra minutes with your girlfriend couldn’t hurt.

“We’re going to have to make a run for it”, you sighed, the responsible part of your brain outweighing the not-so-smart one.

Nayeon looked at you with a frown on her face, her gaze kept moving between your frame and the raging storm outside. “You’re not wearing a jacket, y/n”.

You hummed, “it doesn’t look like this rain is stopping any time soon, we can’t afford to wait”.

“You’re going to catch a cold”.

“Maybe, but you know the deal, our relationship must not interfere with our careers” you rolled your eyes as you recited the same speech that had followed you around for the past month.

“Stay here”, she said sternly, “I’ll be right back”. You frowned, but followed her instructions. Not even five minutes later, Nayeon was back with a black umbrella in her hand.

“Where’d you get that from?” you asked her, she definitely didn’t have an umbrella when you got here.

“I just bought it” she grumbled, “I’m not going to let you get sick. Now come on, we really should get going”.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Jihyo was currently waiting for the rest of her members to finish getting ready, they had an interview lined up and who knows what else might get magically booked along the way.

In an attempt to entertain herself, the leader unlocked her phone and tapped on the Twitter app. She mindlessly scrolled through her timeline, nothing truly catching her attention; that was until she came across two familiar figures.

Several pictures of her fellow member and her girlfriend greeted her. Now, Jihyo wasn’t surprised by the pictures in general; Nayeon, despite the countless warnings, was always going out of her way to show off her relationship. What truly surprised the group’s leader was the fact that the eldest member had an arm securely wrapped around you, her other hand too busy holding an umbrella in an attempt to shield you both from the rain.

An umbrella?

Before Jihyo could think about it any further, Nayeon made her way into the dorm.

The first thing the oldest Twice member did as soon as she got home was throw the umbrella somewhere far away from her, a sour expression on her face. Jihyo let out a loud laugh, not believing the sight before her very eyes; the leader’s laugh finally catching the other girl’s attention.

“You’re such a simp, Im Nayeon”.

_____________________

Loud laughs bounced back and forth across the Twice dorm and Nayeon wished she could disappear. What would you even say to that?

 “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Why did that make you realize she loves me?” the members gave themselves whiplash with how fast they all turned to look at you.

“You mean she never told you?” Dahyun asked.

“Told me what?” you asked nervously, Nayeon whined, wrapping you in an even tighter hug.

“Nayeon absolutely hates umbrellas, y/n” Jihyo explained. “She hates them so much, back when we were trainees, she used to wear a box on top of her head whenever it rained”.

“Even to this day!” Sana continued, “whenever our managers try to help her out with umbrellas she runs away” she giggled.

“But somehow all of that goes out the window when it comes to you” Jeongyeon smirked, “you have her wrapped around your finger, y/n”.

“Nayeon can’t have her princess getting sick” Momo teased.

The girls kept throwing jabs here and there, but you tuned them out, trying to focus your entire attention on your blushing girlfriend. You sent her a soft smile, she returned it immediately, feeling absolutely at ease once she saw that sparkle in your eyes.

“Do you really hate umbrellas that much?” you laughed.

Nayeon groaned at your question, feeling embarrassed all over again. “I do, I really really do”, she paused to steal a quick kiss from your lips, “but I love you way more”.

You beamed at your girlfriend, feeling on cloud nine when you finally heard her say those words you had been longing for.

“I love you too, Im Nayeon” you said, pressing your lips against hers in a sweet kiss.

“Jihyo! The couple is being annoying again!”.

_____________________

A/N: Everytime I think of a one shot I always have the idea that it will be roughly 500 words, and somehow I always end up going past 1k, oh well.

Thank you so much for reading! If you have any requests or anything like that feel free to let me know :)

[darkstar225]

Twice’s 10th member passes out/faints

The moment she left the stage, after thousands of photos each with a different pose for her lovely fans, she started to feel the effects of the poor night of sleep she had the night before. Sleeping for only 2 hours because of her excitement to go to this concert and talk to ONCE after so long turned out to be a bad -terrible- idea. Well, when she said this would be a problem for the future Y/N it wasn't meant to be this soon. A tingly feeling made itself known but she couldn't identify what were the consequences of it. Not wanting to be alone in case something happened the maknae went to the changing room where 3mix and the J-line were (the SMC ran to get something to eat together as soon as the manager said the ok to leave the place and head to the dorm).

Y/N - Unnies, I don't feel good...

As expected, the unnies started freaking out the moment these words left their baby's mouth. (mama bears mode on)

3mix - What are you feeling? What happened? When have you started to feel this way?

Thankfully J-line noticed that Y/N wasn't that aware of what was going on so they quickly helped her sit on the couch at the corner of the room. It was mostly Momo carrying her but this isn't the point, they just wanted to have her resting somewhere so she doesn't pass out.  

Y/N - Thank you unnies, I was having a kind of weak feeling, idk what happened, answering one of your infinite questions lol

Jihyo - Don't joke around Y/N L/N, this is serious!

Y/N - Ok, ok, I'm sorry. 

Jeongyeon - Fine, we're forgiving you just this time and only because you're not feeling well.

Y/N - Amen

Nayeon - That's right little miss. Anyway, what are you feeling babe?

Y/N - So, you know when you get when you're trying to stay awake but are too tired or that feeling you get right before you fall asleep when you're super drunk? Not that I've ever drunk but anyway- that's what I was feeling

Mina - We should put her legs up so we get the blood back to her brain.

Sana - Let me get some cushions, lay down lovebug.

Y/N - It's not necessary unnie, I'm feeling a lot better-

Getting up from the sofa was another stupid decision Y/N took that day, she felt her vision get blurry and the ground seemed to not exist. After that came the dizziness that made her stand still and voices full of worry from her sisters came from all around the room. However, her hearing and sight just shut off and the only thing she could see was the black dots that appear when you close your eyes very hard and everything turned into a mess of unclear sounds, almost as if she was submerged underwater.

Meanwhile, her sisters tried to talk to her and get her to lie down but she was already gone. When she fell while passing out, Sana being the closest to her, got her and helped her to the sofa with Jihyo who was holding Y/N's cheek taping it to see if she answered. 

Jihyo - Y/N, Y/N, Y/N... 

Sana - Come on darling, this isn't funny.

Nayeon - Wake up baby. 

After 10 agonizing minutes, Y/N started moving and the unnies all sighed in relief.

Y/N - Jihyo unnie...? What happened?

Pulling her child near her chest she whispered a small thank god and replied.

Jihyo - You fainted sweetie... Don't you remember?

Y/N - Not really *rubs eyes*

Mina - That's fine honey, do you think you can get up? Actually, never mind. Can someone take her to the couch?

Momo - Fine for me, let's go babe *groan*

Momo gives their maknae a kiss on the forehead and puts her down on the couch. Sana gets the cushions and settles them below their baby's feet, giving her a huge hug afterwards. 

Sana - You scared us sugar, what made you faint?

Y/N - I didn't sleep that well last night... Too excited to do so...

Nayeon - And you didn't go to one of our rooms because?

Y/N - I don't know... There was a lot on my mind and you're all sleeping.

Jihyo - Wake us up, I don't care boo. If we weren't here you'd fall headfirst on the floor and hurt yourself more.

Y/N - You're right captain *salute* lol

Nayeon - Pfffffffff- HAHAHAHAHHAHA sorry, Jihyo. That was funny.

Jihyo - I'll let it go, I'm happy to see you feeling better, doing idiotic jokes again.

Jeongyeon - Don't do that to one of my No Jam bros. Slay kiddo!

Y/N - Thanks unnie 😎

Mina - Drink this water hon, I don't wanna see a single drop in this glass. 

Y/N - Okay boss :P

Mina - Less talking, more drinking Y/N L/N.

Putting her hands up surrendering Y/N drank the whole cup and started sitting up since all the tingly vibe she was feeling went away with the care of her unnies.

Momo - Do you feel better?

Y/N - Yeah! Much better, maybe I just needed some sleep and my body did without my consent lmao

Sana - Don't joke about that! The first thing you'll do when we get to the dorm is lie down and sleep. Cuddling with me of course!

Jihyo - No way! It's my kid you're talking about.

Nayeon - What? She's gonna wanna cuddle with me!

Momo - Don't be silly grandma, she loves me more remember?

Nayeon - That's definitely not true, she said it to you first, that's it.

Momo - Screams volumes for me.

Nayeon - Shut up, pabo.

Momo - YOU'RE THE PABO-

Jihyo - SHHHHHHHHHH, she ended up falling asleep. Let's allow her to get some rest.

Jeongyeon carried her to the car and when they got to the dorm took her to the SMC room where everyone was sleeping in a puppy pile. It was adorable and she didn't wanna miss the chance to get there with Y/N after she took a photo and send it to the group chat which made everyone flood it with messages but their thought was the same. 

We love our dear maknaes. 

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

[tdoong15]

Can you do tzuyu turn into baby and twice have their concert tour and they bring baby tzuyu to the concert and once shock how cute baby tzuyu. Please 🤍

Hii of course you can, also I'm sorry for completing this so late I was procrastinating and I don't know why I did it.

Warnings: none

Baby's first concert

The girls were about to go on stage for their tour until they realized that Tzuyu was a baby. “What are we going to do?” Dahyun asks out of worry. “Uhm I don't know, how will Once react?” Mina wonders since it was something that doesn't happen normally. “We should probably wait until the encore to bring her out, or else we might upset her.” Jihyo states that and the other girls agreed with her.

With that in mind during the first part of their show Tzuyu stayed backstage with Manager Unnie and the others went on stage and performed without Tzuyu because it was better to perform as 8 at the very last minute instead of having Tzuyu perform whilst she was a baby. Whilst the girls performed, Tzuyu was hitting and giggling at the screen in front of her as it was showing the others performing.

“Do you like watching your sisters perform, Tzu?” Manager Unnie asks and Tzuyu enthusiastically nods her head. When the others finished performing ‘Moonlight Sunrise’ Tzuyu clapped her hands and she babbled happily, she then gasped loudly when she saw them come off stage when they had finished performing some more songs. Tzuyu wriggled out of Manager Unnie's arms so she could be with her members during intermission.

“Hey Tzu-Tzu! Are you enjoying the show?” Nayeon asks Tzuyu who smiles widely and reaches her arms out to Nayeon so she could be picked up, which Nayeon obviously obliged to do. So with that in mind, throughout the first intermission the girls all played with Tzuyu and they would hype her up whenever she tried to dance this didn't last long as Dahyun, Momo, Sana and Mina had to prepare for their Solo performances but that didn't stop the other girls from playing with Tzuyu.

“Let's go watch their solos, y'know so we can support them.” Jeongyeon suggested and the girls agreed with Jeongyeon, they didn't think much about it since Dahyun was first anyway. As soon as they heard ‘7 rings by Ariana Grande’ start to play they realized that they had to act quickly. “Oh god, cover her eyes! I don't know, just make her not look!” Jihyo slightly yells at Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung they all then covered Tzuyu's eyes with their hands except it basically looked like they had completely covered her face.

Tzuyu didn't know why this happened but she found it hilarious and at some points she even tries to move her head so she could get a look at MiSaMo's performances since the others now fully acknowledged that it wasn't a good idea to make baby Tzuyu be exposed to twerking, pole dancing and Sana's choreography. Thankfully, it was a different story when Jihyo, Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung did their solos, except for the fact that the girls backstage didn't make Tzuyu see the solos because they were petty over the fact that only Dahyun's was shown to Tzuyu.

When it came to the encore, Tzuyu crawled over to where her solo outfit was and she put on the hat despite it being a bit too big for her head at that moment in time. Everyone else laughed lightly and they decided to let Tzuyu wear her hat because they thought she looked adorable with it on. They also decided to do ‘When We Were Kids’ first so Once can know that the baby on stage wasn't a random one which had passed security it was in fact Tzuyu.

“Well, let's just hope that Once take this sudden news well.” Sana says softly and the others nod their head and they do their chant, Tzuyu also placed her hand in the middle but that was because she didn't feel like being left out. When they went on stage they were met with loud cheers from Once and when it was revealed that Tzuyu was with them but as a baby, Once filled the stadium with “Aww!” Tzuyu actually surprised everyone by smiling widely instead of crying over the loud noises and her hat made it at least 10 times cuter.

Tzuyu had fun with all of them during the encore and when she had to do a dance part in Likey, all nine of them actually joined in a huddle and they did random dances including choreo from their own music like ‘Signal.’ Towards the end of the concert Once were throwing plushies on stage and no matter who Tzuyu was with at that time she gave them the same treatment of pointing at the toy and making a sound to basically command the girls to pick up the plushies for her, she would then kick her legs happily when she got the plushy even though some of them were for the others. They didn't mind it though because they saw how happy Tzuyu was when she was able to hoard all of the stuffed toys for herself.

I hope everyone has a great day, night, or evening. Also what do you guys think about Twice's new song and MV for "I Got You"?

[3mixs]

okay so i’ve had three very loose ideas for fics and i really want to get started on writing one of them! so i’m going to write out three really rough synopsis of them and if anyone has any preference, comments, questions, ideas to make something better or anything at all please let me know ! i also want to note side ships/characters are very very underdeveloped so if you have any suggestions for them i’d love to hear them !

option 1 - twice band au (insp. daisy jones & the six) - in 1996 the all female pop-rock band ‘fatal flaw’ took the world by storm. their edgy style, seductive lyrics, and catchy sound made them impossible to ignore. critics thought they’d be a flash in the pan, after all they were just a group of friends who started a band in a garage. but the critics severely underestimated how much appeal a group of six beautiful women with captivating chemistry would have to the masses. their debut album ‘feels so good’ helped them get their name out there. however, their sophomore album ‘insatiable’ is what skyrocketed them to levels of fame they could have never prepared for. the group had the potential to go all the way, become a band that would inspire generations to come. but during their infamous world tour for their third album ‘glory days’ things came to a shocking end. halfway through the tour the band announced their last performance - and what a performance it was. their legacy has long surpassed their actual career. for years fans have wondered what caused the band to break up. and for years the members have wondered if any of it was worth it.

members: jihyo (vocals) jeongyeon (vocals + lead guitar) nayeon (vocals + bass) momo (drums) sana (keyboard) mina (vocals + rhythm guitar) content warnings for the story: drug/alcohol use, smut, profanity, addiction, cheating. (more may be added)

option 2 - misana!vampire x slayer!jihyo au (insp. buffy the vampire slayer x vampire diaries universe) - in every generation there is one human destined to protect the world from vampires, this human is known as they slayer. this generation’s slayer is park jihyo. at the age of fifteen jihyo killed her first vampire and since then her world has never been the same. forced to grow up at a young age, jihyo can hardly remember life before defeating the supernatural and keeping balance in the world. with training and guidance from her mentor, jihyo takes the duties of her role as slayer very seriously. one day she will rid this world of vampires, she just has to figure it out first. 

mina is one of the world’s original vampires. in the early years of civilization, there was a small village in what is now modern day japan that is known to be the origin of the vampires. in a last ditch effort before an invasion, a group of powerful women gathered to sacrifice themselves to the gods to protect their village. mina doesn’t know what made her the way she is now, if it was truly the gods answering their prayers, some sort of witch craft, or some greater evil cursing them. all mina knows is that after the sacrifice she and a three other women had been reborn as creatures the world had never seen before. they gifted (cursed) with powers no being should possess. they were faster and stronger than any human could ever become. their bodies were regenerative, every wound would mend itself in just moments. they were the perfect soldiers and when the time came they defended their village with ease. but their new forms were unpredictable and the blood lust and eternal life were a surprise that cost the villagers their lives. the girls were insatiable and ripped through not only the attackers but their own people. over the years as they honed in their abilities and realized death would not come the original vampires drifted apart. as far as mina knows they’re all still alive-or whatever this state of life was called- and have since created several lineages of vampires that now infest the world. for centuries mina has isolated herself from the world after creating her biggest mistake: sana. now, desperate to find a way to end her life mina seeks out the slayer. mina wants to end her suffering, she’s tired of being alone, unchanging, and reminded of all the atrocities she’s committed. however, no matter how many times she tries to kill herself, nothing will work. on the other side of the world sana gets wind of mina’s plan and is dead set on stopping her. sana was the first person mina ever turned, their love so strong they wanted to spend an eternity in each other’s arms. however, when sana turned her humanity was switched off and she became someting unrecognizable. she has since built one of the strongest vampire clans in the world and can’t lose this empire she’s made. no original has ever died and she fears what may happen if one does... especially when it’s her creator. 

jihyo is skeptical of mina’s intentions since she’s never had a vampire willingly hand themselves over to her. but she quickly realizes mina’s sincerity and agrees to help her with this crazy task. mina would be the first original vampire to ever die.

content warnings: smut, blood, death/murder, violence, profanity, probably alcohol, more tba.

option 3 - 3mix soulmate au (insp. soulmate countdown) - everyone is born with timers on their wrists counting down to 0 until they meet their soulmate. jeongyeon’s went off when she was performing at her first trainee showcase and she heard “finally now i have a same age friend” from the audience. her heart felt like it had stopped for a moment when she met a pair of big sparkly eyes and a bright smile a few rows down. jeongyeon and jihyo have been soulmates for ten years now. with the huge market that kpop is growing into, a sense of closeness and attainability is one of the biggest marketing tactics of the industry. no idol is to disclose their timer to give off the illusion that they could be anyone’s soulmate (though companies say it’s to protect their idol’s privacy). fans flock to fansigns and concerts with dreams of locking eyes with their idol and their timer stopping. others like to fantasize about members of groups having their souls intertwined and ship members as ‘soulmates hidden in plain sight.’ most shippers resent anyone close to their idol in fear they might be connected by fate. as one of the most famous kpop groups, ICON is closely monitored to make sure there is never any slip ups with their timers.

unfortunately all hell breaks loose when dispatch releases a photo showing jeongyeon’s timer: “00:00:00:00″. fans react as expected: shock, anger, resentment, support but most of all fans react with curiosity. in a frenzy fans try to determine who jeongyeon’s soulmate is. it doesn’t take long for several theories to pop up, but one theory seems to have much more traction than the rest: jeongyeon’s soulmate is nayeon. the ship had always been popular among fans as the duo had been close since their trainee days. plus, the had a certain allure with their push-pull dynamic that made fans go crazy. for years fans had theorized about their relationship, only now they were sure they had been right all along. ICON’s company realized the marketing potential of the pair and quickly pulled nayeon and jeongyeon into a meeting. the two would come forward as a couple and they would be able to push the soulmates angle, 10 years of friendship, they’d been through everything together and been in love through it all. despite jeongyeon’s protests and advocating for the truth because jihyo was still a member of the group and after all, it was THEIR story the company was trying to market - the company wasn't going to have it. before the meeting even ended the company already confirmed 2yeon’s relationship to the world despite it being completely fabricated.

members of ICON: jihyo (main vocalist, lead dancer, leader) nayeon (lead vocalist, center, face of the group) jeongyeon (lead vocalist) sana (vocalist, lead dancer, rapper, visual) momo (main rapper, main dancer) content warnings: tba.

*i almost made this a social media au several years ago so if this seems familiar that’s why! 

[solojihyo]

ult group question game <33

i was tagged by @aceofvernons!! ty for the tag xan beloved <33 i’m going to do twice and svt for this (because if you couldn’t already tell from the url, they both are my ults of ults SHSJSKK). the responses will be under the cut <33

i'm going to tag @boosoonseok @lenteur @yoohyeontual @minghao-s @skzandnct @pink-vacancy @kyubinz @minchanz and anyone else who would like to hop in!!

1) who was your first bias?

my first twice bias was chaeyoung!! this is because the first twice mv i ever watched was fancy, and she captured my attention (i thought she was soooo pretty). for seventeen, my first bias was woozi. this was mostly because i basically knew none of the other members and he always stood out to me. he was so cute and i heard that he produced most of svt’s music so i grew found of him LOL.

2) who is your bias now?

jihyo for twice - it’s been over 2 years since i started biasing her and i feel like i grow more and more fond of her with all the time that passes. her charisma on stage and personality are so beloved to me <33 for svt, it’s hoshi!! his shenanigans are what drew me in shsjshsjsjk and now i’m fond of all of them lol. and i so appreciate how hard he works and i’m so proud of him <33 i love both of my biases sm

3) what was the first mv you watched for them?

for twice, it was fancy!! i actually don’t remember what my first svt mv was. i’m pretty sure it was rock with you? i’m not sure if i remember watching anything older than that

4) what’s your favorite mv?

feel special for twice, hands down. i’m in love with the concept, the styling, the storyline, the execution, everything about it. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve rewatched it sgsjshsjdk it is so beloved to me. svt is harder,,, i’m going to say home atm bc it is so comforting to me but tbh the answer to this changes daily

5) if you could listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

feel special for twice and home for svt <33 they’re both very comforting and make me feel better lol

6) who would you want to see them collab with?

WITH EACH OTHER!!! the logistics of that would be extremely hard considering there are 22 of them combined BUT here me out: they make a mini album and separate them by age liners. so 95 liners get one song, 96 liners do another song, etc, like svt did for semicolon. i have thought so much about this you have no idea shsjshsjsjk like can you imagine the power the 97 liners of svt and twice combined would have????? dk and jihyo together???? it would be so insane. this me being a delusional fan BUT IT WOULD BE SO COOL OKAY

7) what mv concept do you want to see them do?

i want twice to try an mv with a concept like cry for me!! we haven’t seen them do enough of that tbh and we need it to happen. for svt…. i want another mv like home that’s more minimalistic but also super comforting. i think that would be neat.

8) have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

i have many times i’m sure but i don’t remember any of them lmao. the only one i can think of rn is me having a dream where i made fun of mingyu for going to the airport without a jacket that one time and losing his airpods LOL

9) if you could spend a day with any member, who would it be and what would you do?

nayeon for twice!! i think she’d be super fun to hang out with - we’d probably go places like the beach, get some ice cream, and just vibe <33 for svt, i’m gonna say seungkwan!! i think he’d also be very fun to hang out with. maybe we’d go see a movie and then go out for dinner. but honestly given the chance i’d be willing to hang out with any of them lol

10) which member do you think you'd get along best with?

tzuyu for twice because she's quiet like me and we could just chill shdjhdjsk. and vernon for svt for the same reason (+ he loves cats and wants a cat just like me)

11) which member do you think you would argue with?

uh...... i have no idea tbh LOL i'm not very argumentative so shdjshdjk moving on

12) if you had to choose one member to scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

this is a terrifying question. that being said. maybe jeongyeon because she could have a good laugh about it with me, and jeonghan for the same reason SHJDHSJDK

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

Camp North Star - August 15th

AFAB!Reader x Hirai Momo x Minatozaki Sana x Park Jihyo

Word Count: 7166

Contents: foursome, truth or dare, fingering, dom!Momo, dom!Jihyo, sub!reader, implied switch!Sana, teasing, hair pulling, use of titles (Mommy, Mistress), use of pet names (baby), breast play, clit stimulation, tribbing, choking, slight scratching, oral (reader receiving), praise, over-stimulation, crying

You dried off your body as you sat up on the deck of the pool in the dark. Momo, Sana, and Jihyo were all climbing out from the evening swim you’d taken. You looked at your watch, knowing that Momo and Sana couldn’t stay out too late, not when Nayeon had so graciously agreed to watch their campers, but only for a bit.

Jihyo threw you each a boogie board to sit on instead of the hard concrete and you relaxed back in the warm August night. A breeze was blowing through but it only carried more hot air, though it felt perfect for drying off.

“That was fun,” Sana chimed. “We should do that more often.”

“We can only get Nayeon to babysit so many times,” Momo chuckled.

“I can only do this sparingly,” Jihyo said. “I mean I don’t think Hongseok would be that mad, but if Seungcheol caught us…”

“I don’t know,” you hummed, laying your towel over the boogie board and sitting on it. “Hongseok is getting to be a bit more of a stick in the mud in his old age.”

“You say that like you didn’t fuck him in his office,” Jihyo laughed.

“Shut up,” you giggled, throwing a stray boogie board at her which she managed to catch anyway.

“Didn’t you say something about the showers after?” Jihyo questioned.

“We didn’t do anything in the showers,” you said, sticking your tongue out at her.

“Yeah,” said Sana. “I’m the only one who gets to fuck them in the showers.” Everyone laughed at her comment.

“That explains why you came back with wet hair the other day.” Momo said.

“At least tonight we have towels,” you chuckled.

“I might have forgotten the towels,” Sana confessed with a sheepish grin, blushing while Jihyo and Momo burst into laughter.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute, Sana,” Momo giggled.

“It’s a good thing Minji was willing to bring us towels,” you chuckled.

“Well luckily everyone can dry off comfortably now,” Jihyo said. “How much later do you guys wanna stay?”

“We still have time,” Momo said. “Nayeon said she would stay until just before lights out, she’s checking the cabins tonight anyway so as long as we’re back by 10 we’re fine.”

“We could play a game,” You offered.

“Ohhhh we could play truth or dare,” Sana said excitedly.

“That ought to be interesting,” Momo chuckled.

“Why not?” you laughed. You could already tell Sana was plotting ideas. She was bound to make it sexual right out of the gate but you didn’t mind all that much. It would at least be fun. You were feeling slightly better now. Things were still far from normal between you and Wonwoo but at the very least you could hold a casual conversation again without it feeling massively awkward or like pulling teeth to get an answer. So that was something.

“So long as it doesn’t get too out of hand,” Jihyo said, chewing on her lip.

“See now you sound like Seungcheol,” Momo teased.

“I do not,” she whined. “I’m fun!”

“Fine, then truth or dare?” Momo asked.

“Truth.”

“Figures.”

Jihyo grabbed a nearby pool noodle to whack Momo. “Just ask me a question.”

“Is it true you guys have orgies in Cabin Hydrus?”

Even in the moonlight you could see Jihyo blush deeply. “I-I wouldn’t call them orgies.”

You and Sana squealed while Momo laughed.

“If you’re all having sex than it’s an orgy,” Momo said.

“Hold on, why was I not invited?” You asked.

“You’re not in the cabin,” Jihyo said.

“Yeah but we’re in the same department,” you whined.

“Okay but you’re in a boat usually,” Sana said. “They like to get wet.”

“Okay okay,” Jihyo said, trying to hush you all a bit. “Momo, truth or dare?”

“Dare because I’m not afraid.”

“Whisper a secret to me.”

“Oh my god, you are getting boring,” Momo said, crawling over to her. You couldn’t hear what she said but you saw the look of surprise that crossed Jihyo’s face as she heard the secret.

“Wait really?” Jihyo asked. Momo nodded with a slight grin.

“What was it?” Sana pouted.

“Sorry, can’t tell you,” Momo giggled. “She should have told me to tell the whole group.” Momo looked at you. “Truth or dare?”

“I’ll go with dare.”

“Take your top off.”

You felt heat rush to your skin as the others giggled. “Hold on, you just had to whisper a secret and I have to take my tits out?”

“You really should be prepared for anything,” She shrugged. “You can switch the truth, but only once.”

“Fine, I’ll do it,” you muttered, pulling down the straps on your bathing suit top. You didn’t look any of them in the eye as you took your arms out of the straps and pushed it down just enough to rest under your breasts, thankful for the warm night so the air didn’t chill you.

You would have thought by this point in the summer this wouldn’t feel so embarrassing and yet…

“Okay, Sana,” you said, very aware of how she was now staring at your chest. “Truth or dare?”

“Hmmmmm truth,” She said. 

“Ummm,” you wracked your brain for a good question. “How many times have you faked an orgasm?”

“I never fake an orgasm!” she said. “I want them to know if they do a bad job.”

Momo nudged her hard and gave her a pointed look.

“Okay, well I don’t anymore.”

You and Jihyo snorted.

“Some people just cannot figure out how to get me off, not like it’s that hard,” she muttered. “Anyway, Jihyo, truth or dare?”

“I don’t trust you at all,” Jihyo said.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Sana grinned. “And you said truth last time.”

“Fine, dare.”

“Perfect,” she smiled brightly. “I dare you to do a pole dance with an imaginary pole.”

Jihyo flushed red, visible even in the darkness, as she stood up. You tried for a moment to forget about how bare you were as you watched her in all of her embarrassment, trying to be sexy while Sana hummed music and Momo giggled. She was quick to sit back down, letting her hair partially fall in her face.

Jihyo said your name. “Truth or dare?”

“I’m going for truth this time,” you said.

“What’s your body count for this summer?”

“Oh geez,” you said, looking up at the sky. “Give me a second.” The girls all giggled as you counted out on your fingers, trying to remember everyone. “Wait is it just sex or anyone I’ve fooled around with?”

“Include anyone you fooled around with,” Said Sana.

“Then, god I think it’s 18?” You said, hoping you weren’t forgetting anyone. “That kinda blows Soonyoung out of the water.”

“Congrats,” snickered Momo. “You’re the resident whore.”

“Shut up,” you laughed, grabbing a wayward pool noodle and whacking her with it as she giggled.

“Your turn, truth or dare?”

“Hmmm dare,” she said.

You grinned. “I dare you to play with your nipples for the rest of the game.”

Sana giggled while Jihyo looked between you two, a little panicked. “See when I said not to get out of hand-”

“You say that like it’s hard,” Momo chuckled, pinching her nipples through her swimsuit top and rolling them slowly, clearly more than happy to be giving herself pleasure. “Sana, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” she said easily.

“Show us a fake orgasm.”

“You guys!” Jihyo hissed.

Sana blushed, biting down on her finger coyly. “You really wanna see it?”

“Oh shut up and do it,” you laughed, nudging her knee with your foot. Jihyo was looking over her shoulder towards the camp building, clearly worried someone would notice your increasingly risque game.

Sana, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care. She rested back on her elbows before letting out a moan, legs rubbing together and squirming as if she was actually experiencing pleasure. You watched as her mouth fell open, brows knitting together and eyes falling closed as her back arched and she let out very convincing moans that climbed higher and higher in her voice.

You couldn’t help the way it sent thrills of arousal through your body. You shifted a little, pressing your thighs together as you watched and listened to her. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Momo pinching her own nipples a little harder and Jihyo biting down on her bottom lip.

Sana drew her knees up close to her, head falling back in a beautiful, high cry as she “finished,” even managing to have her legs shaking a little and letting out heavy breaths as she opened her eyes. Whether she still did it or not in bed, she was very good at it.

“O-Okay,” Said Jihyo. “Maybe not so loud,” she glanced over her shoulder again, trying to shift her thighs inconspicuously. “B-But let’s keep playing.”

“Okay,” purred Sana. “Truth or dare?” Her voice was much more sultry and it was doing you no favours. By the looks of it you weren’t alone in that.

“Uh, dare?” Jihyo said.

Sana grinned, “I dare you to give me a hickey.” Jihyo seemed surprised at the relatively tame request but Momo was eyeing Sana.

“You are such a whore,” she snickered.

“I’ve done nothing,” Sana said innocently, batting her eyelashes as Jihyo crawled towards her. She rested back as Jihyo kissed low on her chest, pushing down the top of her swimsuit before sucking the skin between her lips.

Sana let her head fall back, letting out a moan, you hugged your knees to your chest, shifting again as more heat started to pool between your legs. She was putting on a show now, and you were sure the whole goal was to rile all of you up. It was working too. Somewhere in the back of your mind you questioned how you had become friends with so many people that liked to initiate orgies.

Jihyo pulled back, a fresh, dark bruise blossoming on Sana’s chest. Sana smiled at her cutely.

“Thank you, Mommy.”

You bit down on your lip as you watched Jihyo taking a deep breath, looking like she could just about devour Sana but restraining herself instead and sitting back on her heels.

“Momo,” Jihyo sniffed, regaining her composure. “Truth or dare?”

“I haven’t picked truth yet,” her voice still sounded even but the way she subtly  squirmed her body told you she was very much turned on.

Jihyo sighed, thinking for a moment. “Tell us about one of your favourite porn tropes.”

“See that’s a good question,” she smirked. “I really love the ones where a group of girls all gang up on one girl. Sometimes they’re cheerleaders, maybe lifeguards. The all hold down the one girl and make her cum until she can’t think of anything else and it’s the best fuck she’s ever had.”

Whether she was trying to toy with Sana or Jihyo you didn’t know but you did know that it was getting to you. Without warning your brain started swimming in images of the three of them surrounding you, all pleasuring you at once. Your fingers curled into the hem of your swimsuit as more asorual rushed through your body at the sudden but not unwelcome mental images.

What you absolutely could have done without though, was the whimper that escaped your lips.

You quickly looked around at all three of them, feeling heat licking at your skin and suddenly wishing for a cool breeze. None of them said a word about your outburst, but the looks on their faces made it clear they had all heard you.

“Sana,” Momo said. “Truth or dare?”

“Hmm, truth,” she said.

Momo nodded towards you with a smug look on her face. “If you could do anything to them right now, what would you do?”

“H-Hey!” You cried, curling in on yourself. Momo was definitely just trying to mess with you now. Jihyo, however, just bit her lip, invested in whatever Sana was going to say.

“I just want to eat them out,” she smirked, though her voice was sweet. “I only got such a little taste last time. I just want to push them back and hold their legs open and taste them. I want them dripping on my tongue. I want to know just how wet they’ve been getting watching everything.”

You knew that Sana knew she was making it worse. You did your best to hold still but something about having others around emboldened her. She was far less sweet and far more teasing. You could feel the others with their eyes on you even though your gaze was locked with Sana’s.

Heat licked at your skin as it curled down your spin. You knew you were wet at this point, though your body had long dried from the pool. But the more they talked the more your need grew, even if you were determined to hide just how much everything was affecting you.

“Does that sound good to you?” Sana asked sweetly.

“It sounds fine.” Your voice was so breathy and obviously turned on it wasn’t even funny. Sana looked so very proud of herself as Momo and Jihyo regarded you with the gazes of lionesses just waiting to pounce on their prey.

“Truth or dare?” Sana asked sweetly.

There was no good option at this point.

“Dare?”

A smirk curled Sana’s lips. “I dare you to finger yourself.”

It was a mark of how much the mood had shifted that nobody giggled. Jihyo looked mildly surprised, though more interested in if you would actually do it. Momo was unphased, only expectant.

You felt your skin burning as you looked down.

“C-Come on,” you mumbled. “You already made me half strip.”

“Well if you’re going to forfeit,” Sana said.

“That’d be no fun,” Momo added. “Sana even showed us a fake orgasm.”

“You made Momo play with her nipples,” Sana said.

“Okay,” you said. You spread your legs just the smallest bit, hyper aware of the way they were watching you. You bit down on your lip as you pushed your hand into your swimsuit bottoms. One hand came up to hold your breast, if for no other reason than to cover you a little bit. You slipped your hand down until your fingers found your clit, biting back the moan that threatened to leave your lips at the touch. Of course you were already wet and sensitive, of course it was going to be harder to keep yourself quiet now.

“Wh-Who wants to be-”

“Hold on,” Jihyo stopped you from moving the game along. Apparently she wanted in on the fun now too. “Are you fingering yourself or just touching yourself?”

“I-I”

“Oh naughty,” Sana chided. “The dare was to finger yourself.”

“I know that,” you mumbled. They were all shifting a little closer now, watching you intently. You couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes, feeling a mix of embarrassment and excitement from all the attention. Some part of you wanting even more and your mind refusing to stop playing images of them taking you all at once. Your own finger slid lower. You were still covering yourself shyly as much as you could as you pressed the finger into your heat.

No amount of lip biting or self control could stop the moan that left your lips. Each of them pressed even closer to you as you stopped moving your finger, face burning and butterflies in your stomach. Jihyo reached out to touch you, rubbing your thigh soothingly.

“Sh-Should we move on?” You asked quietly, already knowing the game was long gone from everyone’s minds.

“You’ve barely shown us anything,” Momo said. “You need to properly finger yourself.”

“You need to let us see,” Sana smirked, settling right next to you, her hand landing on your knee. Your body tensed a little but Jihyo hushed you and as you relaxed the two of them pulled your legs apart to see you properly as you slowly curled your finger inside yourself, only doing so halfheartedly and trying to make sense of your overwhelming feelings. You were embarrassed beyond belief but you also couldn’t deny that the ways they were looking at you, the light touches of Sana’s and Jihyo’s fingers, the attention, was turning you on even more. It had you clenching around your finger.

It was no secret to yourself that you wanted this to continue.

“Looks like one part of your suit didn’t quite dry,” Momo murmured. Her fingers reached out to trace the edge of your swimsuit at the apex of your thigh. You took in a sharp breath at the feeling, some part of your brain wondering if you should outright ask them for more.

“I-I It’s still wet,” you mumbled.

“Are you sure it’s still wet?” Jihyo purred, leaning in a little closer to your ear. “Are you sure it’s not freshly wet?”

“It’s- I mean-”

“It’s not very nice to lie to us,” Momo added, sounding more stern than Jihyo had.

“I think we’ll need to see for ourselves.” Sana added.

It wasn’t as if you didn’t know what she was getting at, or where this seemed to be headed. Still, you looked at Sana with wide eyes at her suggestion as Momo hooked her fingers into the waist of your swimsuit bottoms. Sana simply gave you a smirk and Momo looked up at you expectantly. You looked over at Jihyo and she brought her hand up to caress your cheek.

“Can you show us?” She asked softly, really looking to see if you wanted to continue. You nodded slowly for her and she grinned.

Momo pulled off the bottoms of your swimsuit and you let your hand fall away, pulling your finger away from your core. Jihyo shifted partially behind you, pulling off the top of your swimsuit and leaving you bare as they spread your legs again. Each of them let out a moan or whine at the sight of your body and your glistening core. You only took a quick peek at your own pussy before looking away, unable to shake the shyness nor the embarrassment and very aware that they only made you hornier.

“You look so pretty,” Sana moaned, fingers dragging through your folds and sparking pleasure inside you. Jihyo sat behind you, leaning you back against her as Momo ran her fingers over your thighs.

“Fuck, and you got me all turned on, too,” you said, breathiness finally showing in her voice.

“You two could put on a nice little show for them,” Jihyo murmured. “I think I need to help them with their fingering technique.”

Momo was almost rough as she grabbed Sana’s hair, earning a moan from Sana as she pulled her closer. You watched Momo strip off her swimsuit in the moonlight, throwing it aside. Your eyes couldn’t help but rove over her form, the way her hair cascaded down her back, the swell of her breasts, down to her waist and the curve of her hips as she seated herself, spreading her legs and pulling Sana closer.

Sana kissed her feverishly, wasting no time in sinking two fingers into Momo’s awaiting core. Momo let out a moan, knee falling to the side so you could see just what Sana was doing as she started to finger her.

“They look good, don’t they,'' Jihyo hummed, her hand wrapped around you and her fingers found your clit, teasing you lazily.

“Th-They do,” you whimpered, squirming in her grasp. You were already very turned on and the pressure she put on your small bundle of nerves was easily making you wetter and needier. Your whole body felt hot as you melted back into her, desiring nothing more than more of her touch.

Jihyo brought a hand up to your chest.

“You and Sana are turning out to be a lot of fun,” she purred. “Momo is certainly enjoying her.”

Momo let out a moan, her fingers tangled firmly in Sana’s hair as her head fell back. She pushed Sana’s head down roughly and Sana took one of Momo’s nipples into her mouth, sucking on it. Her fingers curled into Momo quickly and you could imagine, could remember how good it felt.

“And you're just too cute,” Jihyo teased. You let out a whimper as she tugged on your nipple, fingers pressing a little harder against your clit and circling just a little faster. Not fully giving you what you craved.

“You are so adorable when you get shy,” She said, making you look away from her. “Even now when I’ve got your legs open. You’re all spread out to the world and you’re still being shy for me. It’s just precious.”

Her words were only turning you on more as you squirmed, trying to rock you hips against her hand for more. The sight in front of you was incredibly arousing, and the way Jihyo moved her fingers had tension building in your body already. Even still, your core was very aware of what it was missing and you found your hands curling into the towel under you as you wondered if Jihyo would try and tell you off for fingering yourself.

“You’ve got such cute tits,” she hummed, tugging on your nipple again. “Does it feel good when I get a little rough with you?”

“Mhm,” you hummed.

“Come on,” she said, squeezing your breast roughly. “You know I have a title.”

“Y-Yes Mommy,” the words dripped from your lips just the way arousal dripped from your cunt. The word managed to turn you on even more, something about the feeling of it leaving your lips was making your head spin. You were starting to feel desperate, squirming more in her grasp as the tension in your body built slowly, but not as fast as you wanted it.

“Very good,” Jihyo hummed. “You should look at your cute little pussy, baby.” 

You whined at the pet name, somehow even in this state your brain still had the capacity for shame, though you were sure it wouldn’t take too long before that was gone too. Still, you looked down at your pussy just as she said. Even the moonlight you could see how much her touch was affecting you, already a little swollen from her teasing.

It just made you want to cum even more. Momo’s moans and curses weren’t letting up and Sana was letting out moans of her own, particularly each time Momo pulled her hair. Her ass and thighs kept shifting and rolling as they searched for some kind of friction while she fucked Momo with her fingers. 

Their sounds were filling your mind and making you clench around the utter nothing in your cunt. Even though you could get to your high eventually, it was clear Momo was getting closer to hers and you were still frustratingly far from your own, wanting Jihyo to go a little harder, a little faster, instead of taking her time.

You reached a hand between her legs. There was no way she wouldn’t notice, but maybe-

Jihyo grabbed your wrist sharply, pulling your hand away.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asked.

“I w-want to cum,” you mumbled pitifully.

“So I’m not doing a good job?” She questioned.

“N-No you-”

“You have to do it yourself? I’m not treating you well?”

“N-No th-that’s not- I-I just wanted-” You were shrinking into her, complete putty in her hands now. She was making you feel good, just not fast enough. “I-I want to cum now.”

“I see,” she said. For a moment you were afraid she would pull away and you thought it might just make you cry if she didn’t give you any more attention. But her hand came back to your clit, rubbing much more roughly as her other hand moved to play with your other nipple roughly.

“I’m so nice to you, baby,” she said. “I’ll make you cum. I’ll make sure we keep you cumming until I think you’ve had enough. Does that sound good?”

“Y-Yes Mommy,” you moaned, back arching as tension started through your body, winding you tight. Jihyo’s fingers teased your nipple roughly and her hand didn’t let up on your clit.

“You’re going to cum for me just like this,” she said. “I’m not putting anything inside of you. Your greedy little pussy will just have to wait.”

“Mhm,” your whine was high in your voice as your hips ground and rolled up against her fingers. Your eyes squeezed shut but you could hear Momo moaning out as she came on Sana’s fingers. 

“And you’ll be grateful for every orgasm we give you, tonight,” Jihyo said, warning in her tone.

“Yes Mommy,” you breathed, feeling your whole body pulling tight, every muscle tensed as she brought you right to your edge.

“Then cum for me, baby.”

You cried out as you came, legs trembling but you managed to hold them open. You hips ground in circles as she kept teasing your clit and tugging roughly on your nipples while pleasure washed over you, enveloping your senses.

“Th-Thank you, Mommy,” you already knew you had made a mistake tonight and you didn’t want to make more. Her fingers kept teasing you, though much slower. It was still enough to have you jolting and squirming and whimpering in her grasp as she looked up at Momo and Sana.

“Momo,” she called.

You opened your eyes, seeing Momo smirking at you. “Yes?”

“I’d love some time to play with Sana,” Jihyo said. “But they’re just so desperate to keep cumming.” She squeezed your thighs. “They nearly started touching themselves. Do you think you can come over here and help them?”

“Of course,” Momo grinned, releasing Sana’s hair. Jihyo moved away and you managed to sit up as Momo came over and took her place. She was gentle as she rested her legs on either side of you but you knew it wouldn’t last long with how she was with Sana. You bit down on your lip, holding in your whimpers as she dragged her nails over your skin while you watched Jihyo pull off her swimsuit, instructing Sana to do the same. Sana scrambled to follow her lead as you felt Momo’s fingers trail towards your core.

Jihyo gently sat Sana back and spread her legs. You bit down on your lip as you watched Jihyo lower herself onto Sana, starting to grind her pussy against Sana’s and holding onto her leg for support. Sana let out a cute, whiny moan, while Jihyo let out a low groan, leaning forwards to stick a finger in Sana’s mouth and murmuring something to her that you couldn’t hear.

You gasped as you felt Momo spreading your lower lips with one hand and finding you clit with the other. She looked down over your shoulder as she tapped her fingers against your clit quickly. Even though it wasn’t too rough you were already sensitive and the sensation made you squirm and whimper and grip her thighs for support.

“Oh, so sensitive,” Momo teased, rubbing your clit before tapping it again. “It was naughty of you to try and play with yourself.”

“I-I know,” you whimpered.

“Now you better be good for us, can you do that? Can you be good for Mommy and Mistress?”

“Y-Yes Mistress,” you gasped taking her cue. Your legs threatened to close but Momo wasn’t having it.

“Keep them open,” she growled. “I want to see how swollen your pretty little cunt gets when I make you cum.”

“Y-Yes M-Mistress,” You managed, your voice only getting whinier.

“Maybe I should make you cum just like this? What would you say?” She was toying with you, you knew it. But you also knew better than to be a brat at the moment.

“Th-Th- I would- I’d say thank y-you, M-Mistress,” you whimpered, your hips trying to pull away from the quick taps against your sensitive clit. Each one sending an intense jolt of pleasure through your body. But you could only back up into Momo. You had to take it, even though it was already intense and you were only just starting to build to your second orgasm.

“Good job, baby,” she hummed. “Is that what you want?”

You squirmed and whined. Was it a trick or could you actually tell her that your pussy was so frustratingly empty. That you needed something in it.

“You can tell me the truth,” she murmured.

“I-I want s-something inside me,” you moaned, letting out a squeal as her taps got a little bit rougher.

“I can do that for you, baby,” she purred. Finally her fingers relented, one hand slipping down to your core and easily pressing two fingers into you. You moaned out embarrassingly loudly as she curled his fingers into you. After so much waiting the feeling of being full of something was so welcome. Momo’s other hand came up your body and you gasped as she wrapped it around your throat.

“Why don’t you watch the show while I fuck you,” Momo said, squeezing your throat lightly as you brought your eyes up to look at Sana and Jihyo.

Sana’s head had fallen back and her chest was heaving as she gripped Jihyo’s hips. She looked as if she was just on her edge. Though her fake moans had been good, they were nothing compared to the whines and cries falling off her lips now.

Jihyo was grinding down on her hard, moans cascading off her own lips between cooing at Sana and the look of pleasure on her face. She had Sana’s leg up in the air, holding onto it for support while the other rested on Sana’s waist as she chased her high.

You moaned, clenching around Momo’s fingers as they started to fuck into you fast. There was no gentleness to it, moving quickly and nipping at your ear playfully when you let out a broken moan.

“Is this what you wanted?” She teased.

“F-Fuck,” your eyelids were heavy as your body started to tense again. Your legs were already shaking and you were clenching around her fingers as she brought you towards your second orgasm. Momo’s hand squeezed around your throat and your eyes flew open.

“What was that?” She growled.

“Y-Yes Mistress. Thank you M-Mistress,” you whined quickly, trying to save face.

“You just can’t quite behave today, can you?” Momo said. Her hand dropped from your neck as Sana started to cum, crying out and shaking underneath Jihyo who was still grinding on her hard.

Momo’s fingers were relentless, fucking into your fast and rough and making your own legs shake. She brought her other hand down to your clit and you cried out as she started to rub it roughly, only able to press back into her as the intense feeling coursed through your body and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“Poor baby, are you too sensitive for this? Did I make your poor little cunt too sensitive?” She cooed.

You nodded, unable to give her proper words in response. But you just heard Momo chuckle as you squirmed and wriggled in her grasp.

“That’s too bad, I’m not done with you yet.”

Curses and moans fell off your lips at the nearly overwhelming feeling as she played with your clit just as roughly as her fingers fucked you. Your body tensed as you got close to your edge again. You could hear Jihyo’s moans as she came, which only made you clench around Momo’s fingers more. She nipped at your neck.

“Come on, baby.” She murmured. “Cum again, cum for me.”

You cried out, unable to keep your legs open as your body released. Pleasure coursed through you and you shook from the force of your orgasm, grasping at the towel beneath you and squeezing your eyes shut as Momo brought you through your orgasm.

You were tired and twitching when she finally let up. She was gentle as she pushed your legs open again, only to start tapping her fingers against your clit again.

You couldn’t tell if it was harder than before but it didn’t matter. You were so sensitive that the feeling was verging on painful, but not quite. Even if it was a lot, it still felt good.

“Th-Th- Thank you M-M-Mistress,” you managed as Sana and Jihyo came closer.

“I hope you know I’m not done with you yet,” Momo murmured as she let you lay back on the towel. Sana and Jihyo came to sit on either side of you and you gently reached out to touch them both, finding a spot on each of their thighs as you looked up at Jihyo.

“Can you handle some more, baby?” Jihyo asked.

You nodded, your brain struggling to form words. The nod seemed good enough for her though as she threw some sort of glance at Momo. You felt her push your legs back, opening them wide as you laid on your back and you whimpered, already knowing what was coming.

“Shhh,” Jihyo hushed you as she took your hand, rubbing soothing circles into the back of it. “You’re doing so well.”

“And you look so pretty,” Sana added, lying down with you to kiss at your neck. “I still wanna taste you,” she hummed against your skin.

Your mind spun at the idea. You weren’t sure you could handle that much more, but for as overwhelming as it felt, it was also so good. You hadn’t felt this good in a while and you knew when they were done with you you would feel so utterly satisfied.

Sana kissed down to take one of your nipples into her mouth as Momo pressed three fingers into you and drew her tongue over your over-sensitive clit.

Your body jolted and tried to buck up against her as you cried out from the intensity. Momo held you down as she started fingering you quickly again, her tongue lapping over your clit and sending shockwaves through your body each time she did.

Jihyo leaned down over you. “You poor thing, I bet you’re so sensitive now.”

“Y-Yes M-Mommy,” you gasped, gazing up at her. You moaned, back arching off the ground as she took your unattended nipple between her fingers and started rolling it.

“I know, baby,” she cooed. “But you are just so much fun to play with. You sound so cute.”

“You’re so soft,” Sana murmured against you before sucking on your nipple again.

Jihyo threaded her free hand into your hair gently, tilting your head to look at her.

“If it’s too much, just tell me,” her voice was a little more serious. You knew she was checking again, making sure they weren’t pushing you too far. Despite how overwhelming the touch was starting to feel each oragsm that they brought you was better. And your sensitive body was so much faster now, already you could feel the tightening in your core, your body getting tense as your third orgasm approached.

“I-I like it, M-Mommy,” you moaned.

Jihyo smirked down at you, tugging your nipple a little more roughly. “Perfect, baby.”

You panted and moaned and took in the sounds they made. Sana’s were quiet, small sighs and whimpers against your skin, punctuated by words.

“You’re so pretty,” she hummed. “I want to taste you so bad. Everything about you is so divine.”

Her praise only had you clenching around Momo’s fingers more as they fucked into you. Momo let out moans against your core, if only to send the vibrations careening through your nearly fucked out body. She seemed to like it when you squirmed or bucked your hips, holding you still with more force.

The lewd, wet sounds of her fingers fucking you and her tongue lapping at your clit was only adding to everything you were feeling. Your fingers curled around the towel, your other hand grabbing at Sana and holding her close as your body trembled and you managed to look up at Jihyo.

“Are you going to cum for us again, baby?” She grinned.

You could only manage to nod at her, no words forming in your head. Jihyo still played with your hair sweetly.

“Good, cum for us baby.”

You let out a broken cry as you came on Momo’s fingers again. Your cunt squeezed around them tightly as she sucked at your clit. Your eyes rolled back and your back tried to arch up, stopped only by Sana pressing you down as she kept sucking at your nipple. Jihyo played with your other nipple teasing it as you rode through your orgasm until you were twitching and gasping, eyes unable to open.

Momo pulled away from you gently and you laid there, panting as Sana moved away too. Very gently, Jihyo lifted you up a little, laying you back on her but not fully sitting you up, lounging back. You felt Sana pushing your legs up and you whimpered, head lolling to one side. You knew she wanted to taste you but you didn’t know if you could take another orgasm.

Jihyo pressed a kiss under your ear as she and Momo pulled your thighs back until they were nearly flush with your chest. 

“All you have to say is stop,” she whispered to you. You felt Sana pressing kisses near your core and Momo trailing her fingers over your legs and hips, but they all gave you a moment to think. You managed to open your eyes, gazing down at Sana’s sweet, hopeful expression and feeling arousal course through you.

How were you still needy? You didn’t know. But you did love the attention they were showering you in. It was so nice, felt so good. You bit your lip, taking in the sight of how swollen your pussy was from so much stimulation.

“Just a little more,” you mumbled.

Momo pressed close to you, lips brushing against yours and pressing your thigh more firmly against you as Sana pressed her face closer, her tongue dipping into your dripping core.

“I thought so,” She murmured. “You’re still needy, aren’t you?”

Jihyo chuckled. “Poor baby can’t get enough of us.”

You whimpered and moaned at the feeling of Sana’s tongue starting to fuck into you. The fact that she was moaning as she did so only made it that much worse. The vibration rushed through your body and you trembled from them as Jihyo and Momo continued to tease you.

“You knew it was a bad idea to try and touch yourself,” Jihyo said.

“That was naughty of you,” Momo added, lips just out of reach for a kiss. “And all we did was give you pleasure.”

You cried out, fully meeting her eye as the fingers of her free hand found one of your nipples. She tugged on it roughly before rolling and pinching it between her fingers quickly. You felt yourself clenching around Sana’s tongue as she fucked it into you.

“You are so lucky,” Momo smirked.

“Y-Yes Mistress,” you gasped.

“We’ll keep being nice to you,” Jihyo murmured. “One more orgasm.”

She waited for a moment and though you whimpered at the thought you didn’t protest. The two of them chuckled as Jihyo’s hand slid down your body.

“I knew they were needy,” Momo grinned.

“Such a needy baby,” Jihyo added as her fingers reached your clit and started rubbing, fast and rough.

The sound that made it past your lips was somewhere between a moan and a scream. The feeling was so intense. Sana’s tongue curling into you, Momo’s fingers playing with your sensitive nipples, and Jihyo toying with your poor clit again. Waves of pleasure were washing through you in an overwhelming way as your body jerked and squirmed in their grasp.

Momo dropped her lips to kiss at your neck and chest while Jihyo nipped at your ear.

“This is just what you wanted, right?” She teased. “The center of attention, everyone making you cum until you can’t think straight?”

“Y-Y-Y-” Words refused to form on your tongue but Jihyo seemed to understand you.

“Exactly what you wanted,” her fingers moved even faster and you felt your eyes rolling back then squeezing shut as tears started to prick them. “To be fucked senseless.”

Your body shook as every part of you tensed. The force of your impending release was almost frightening but also so welcoming as stars started bursting behind your eyes.

“Cum for us again baby, just like you wanted. Cum for us and show us just how well we’ve ruined you.”

You nearly screamed out as you came. Momo and Jihyo held your legs open, Jihyo’s fingers and Sana’s tongue not letting up, nor did Momo as your release crashed over you, nearly knocking you out. You felt your world tilting and you head felt fuzzy as your body shook and jerked and squirmed while pleasure completely sucked you under.

A few tears slipped from your eyes and Jihyo pulled her hands away. Momo and Sana followed suit. You couldn’t open your eyes as you tried to steady your breathing, babbling out a series of “thank yous” as Jihyo turned you onto your side to cuddle into her chest.

“Good job,” she hummed, rubbing your back. “That was such a good job.”

You felt Sana and Momo’s hands on you two, touching you soothingly as your body shook.

“That was so perfect,” Sana murmured, leaving a series of kisses along your skin.

“You took everything so well for us,” Momo added.

You snuggled into Jihyo's chest more, trying to keep calm while the intensity of it pushed you towards tears. Jihyo pressed a kiss to your head, seeming to read you well.

“You can cry if you need to,” she said softly. You shook your head and she chuckled while an alarm went off. Sana looked around, finding her phone in her bag.

“Oh crap, it’s 10.”

You managed to look up as Momo looked at you worriedly. “We have to go.”

“It’s okay,” your voice was a bit rough as you managed to speak.

Momo gave your thigh a squeeze and Sana kissed your nose as they scrambled to get their things back on before they headed to their cabin. You sat up and Jihyo followed you, not letting you sit up yet.

“Hold on,” she said. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, trying to push the swell of emotions down.

Jihyo held your jaw gently, looking at you a little more intently. You felt everything rushing back up to the surface and your face scrunched up as you started to cry.

“I-I’m sorry,” you blubbered as she pulled you against her chest.

“It’s alright,” she soothed, rubbing your back. “That was intense. Just let it all out. You can come stay the night with me if you want.”

“Yes, please,” you sniffled, clinging to her and nuzzling your head into her neck.

[seungily]

TANGLED ATTACHMENT LHS, PSH

synopsis: sunghoon had broken up a month ago and needed time before you both actually started dating, he told you to stay aware of his bandmate, lee heeseung but what happens if you grow attached to him and find out your ‘boyfriend’s dirty secret despite you both loving eachother?

pairings: park sunghoon x afab reader x lee heeseung

genre: angst, toxic love, love triangle, slow burn, slight fluff?

warnings: toxic love, mentions of cigarette, tension, one night stands,

inspired by: @//parkjaycult ‘s “BOUNDARY_LESS PSH” and heavily inspired by ‘Friends - Chase Atlantic’

author’s note:: I RE EDITED IT HOPEFULLY ITS BETTER AND EASIER TO READ NOW 🧍🏻‍♀️

there he lies, right beside you. he looked miserable with swollen blood-red eyes and dark circles, his cheeks were tear-stained he had marks supposedly hickies all over his neck. Despite being his assistant and manager, you had no idea what he does or where he goes after 7 PM but always received a message from him after 11 PM to either pick him up from a random club or open the door because he was freezing, despite you never wanting to you always do let him in. I mean why won't you? He kept you accompanied through your lonely apartment. This was another reason you had a small minimalistic apartment you didn't want to feel lonely. 

Sunghoon on the other hand had broken up with his girlfriend of two years, Hyun-hee. You weren't sure why would anyone ever leave this perfect man? But who were you to say anything throughout the following 3 months Sunghoon continued to vent to you about his now ex but never mentioned the real reason why they fell apart. Regardless you comforted him and let him stay. Enhypen's manager never really minded him staying with you as long as you both did everything behind the scenes and Sunghoon was never late for his schedules. It led to the point you knew his smell, the time he'll text you and what his comfort foods were, can we say the same about Sunghoon knowing you? I guess not but the way Sunghoon would sometimes snuggle close to you deep in his sleep it made you think if you guys were just friends or more? 

Back to the present, your alarm rang waking Sunghoon up while you keep staring at his neck about the hickies or scars. "Is something wrong?" the boy asked rubbing his eyes while sitting up. "N-no you should freshen up and return to the dorms I'll drive you there" he only nodded in response and walked towards the washroom. You on the other hand just sat on the bed in denial you didn't know how to feel you knew this needed to stop before you grew more attached but you couldn't just run away.

After dropping Sunghoon at the dorms, Heeseung began to approach you "Shall we go?" the black-headed guy asked politely, "Huh?" "Oh did Jihun (manager) Hyung not inform you?" you were beyond confused when you suddenly received the message from Jihun himself.

From Jihun (Manager-nim) 

> YN! You have to take care of Heeseung's schedule as Nayeon is not well and I'm busy.

*sends schedule planner*

"YN you're still here?" Sunghoon's voice returns you to Earth "Oh.. Manager Jihun just texted me, I have to take care of Heeseung's schedule as his manager is sick and your schedule is empty today" YN said "Oh ok" he said almost upset. As you were about to leave with Heeseung, Sunghoon suddenly hugged you, "don't get too close with Heeseung I'll miss you" that somehow gave you butterflies even though this was a common skinship between the both of you, maybe his words were doing the effect but why did he even tell you to be careful of Heeseung? He seemed amazing even though you didn't know him that much. You quickly hugged him back and started walking with Heeseung beside you as it must've been awkward for him. 

You start the car and start driving to a studio where he is supposed to record a song cover "Off my face" by Justin Beiber, it was probably coincidental that you absolutely love that song and you were pretty excited to hear him sing it. He was extremely polite and both of you made some small talk, you were mostly closest to the maknae line and of course Sunghoon so it felt awkward at first. "Soo.. it seems that you and Sunghoon are pretty close are you guys.." "FRIENDS! yes ah-hah! " you say it in the most unconvincing way but he seems to believe it for the time being while you apologize for being loud he laughs it off and switches the topic as he could see you were quite uncomfortable. Soon enough you both arrived "Do you want to come inside?" He asked while taking the bag he decided to carry after losing his only AirPods that were in his pockets "Am I allowed to?" you ask while unbuckling the seatbelt. And here you are staring at his face while listening to his angelic vocals he maintained eye contact with you looking at the camera from time to time but looking at you as well. It somehow gives you butterflies even if you didn't know him that well. He stared at you throughout the "In love with you" part and you wouldn't lie, you felt yourself felt.

After finishing his schedule with him and dropping him off at the dorms, you went back home and decided to scroll through your notifications and schedules, it was 10:57 PM you knew he'd dm you anytime now but to your surprise, he didn't?it shocked you but you shrugged it off and just thought maybe he won't come today? even if it was unusual.. 

*ring ring* the bell rang as YN got up to open the door. "Open up I know you're awake," He said as if he'd breakdown any moment in a drunk as fuck voice. You open the door and he crashes down on you, completely hugging you with both of his arms and keeping his head in your nape taking in your fresh smell. "why would she leave me, was I not enough" he said in a droopy sad voice almost falling down as you carry him to sit on your couch and continue comforting him till 1 AM or until he was asleep, yes you took care of him you knew he deserved better, you just wanted him to feel loved.You took a closer look at his state, his hair looked freshly washed and fluffy eventhough it was messy, it looked as if he washed up and then went to the club, why? you'll never understand this man.he still had the scars from yesterday and maybe more? or were you just seeing things?  Either way you made sure to comfort him and made him feel loved, he always appreciated these actions towards him and would often cry and tell you how much he appreciates it, you really love his vulnerable side but t hurts you to see his tears sometimes.

You woke up feelings entangled in the sheets with another figure in your bed, that being sung hoon, you brushed hair off of his face when he started to wake up thanks to the sun being brighter than usual because you didn't pull the curtains, he holds you tighter in his embrace as he whispers a quite good morning and thank you for last night, that was enough to make you melt. If anyone saw you both in this state, they'd most probably think you both are dating, you both cuddled for a while before the blonde head spoke up again "how was it with Heeseung? Did he say anything? you thought for a while before shaking your head and said "just small talk and.." "and?" "nothing that special" you lied but you didn't want to make things awkward so that's how it was before you tried to get up but sat down again when Sunghoon pulled you towards him, he held you close to his chest you could hear his heart beating and he probably could too considering how fast your heart was beating. 

"Let's cuddle for a while," he said in his deep morning voice which you were used to, he snuggled closer to your neck while you couldn't even move. "Y-you have to mc today r-remember?" you mentally curse yourself for stuttering. He groans but lets you go, you exhale as you both freshen up and you decide to drive him back to the dorms, he adjusts himself in the passengers' seat as you began to drive. "I'm sorry for yesterday, I wanted to spend some time with you yesterday but-" you cut him off, "it's fine" you feel him smile through the corner of your eyes as he reaches down to your hand gently squeezing it. These small interactions meant a lot to you as they made you feel wanted. You loved it. You loved him. 

As you reached the dorms, Jihun informed you that you had to take care of Heeseung's schedule today as well even if you were aSunghoon's manager, the reason was obvious. Netizens were making rumors about Sunghoon and you dating, you were pretty enough to be an idol so speculations were that you're a trainee dating him so it was understandable what Jihun was trying to do but Sunghoon was definitely not pleased but you didn't mind because you were comfortable enough around him.

The whole day was fun with Heeseung , after finishing his photoshoot he took you to a cafe and now you both were sitting on a hill just looking at Seoul from afar. Sunghoon and Heeseung were different, extremely different. While you mostly had home "dates" with Sunghoon, Heeseung took you around the city into places you never even saw or knew. Both of them were equally fun. 

Heeseung broke the comforting silence with his question "Soo YN.. were you raised in Seoul?" you just dryly chuckle "No... but I always wondered how it'd be to live in Seoul and that's how i ended up here, I'm from a small island beside Jeju I came to Seoul to become a therapist or psychiatrist but I guess some dreams don't come true" you looked down and brought your knees to your chest. "Why did you suddenly become a manager, I mean it is something comepletely different from a therapist or medical field " he asked again "Mm.. I dont know.. it was because of my mother, my studies were going well until she fell sick and needed money for her medicines so I just took a job that I found" you suddenly chuckle feeling chilled by the weather, "Is she still?..." you shake your head "no.. I lost her" you say, your eyes now getting glossy. Heeseung got closer and hugged you tight "It's not your fault, you tried and id everything you could. I'm so sorry" You started crying pathetically in his embrace hugging him back, you lost your mother recently yet tried being strong, nobody had comforted you like this. None of your relatives lived with you so you kept blaming yourself. The night went on by you explaining on how alone you feel in this city and how Seoul wasn't the place for you. This felt different, new and you liked it. Sunghoon normally talked about his feelings to you and you never really minded because you wanted to protect and love him but you didn't kow how it felt to recieve the same love. Until tonight. 

It soon got pretty late and you drove Heeseung to his apartment instead of the dorm as most of them were with their familes or in their apartments. You realised that the key normally stays with his manager who was sick or Jihun, Heeeng had called Jihun but he wasn't picking up. You couldn't just leave him. "YN? If you want you can go home, I'll just stay at a hotel." he said breaking your thoughts. "No no what if sasaengs find you? How about you just stay at my house for tonight?" you don't know why you suddenly said that but you guess you didn't mind his presence anymore.

"I'll sleep on the couch" you offer and bring out a pillow from your bedroom buut he snatches it from you and says  "I don't want to bother you so I'll just sleep on the couch" "No what are you saying I can't do that to a guest" You say snatching ng the pillow back and it suddenly becomes a pillow tugging competition to a pillow fight. It looked like as if you both were kids but you needed to get revenge on him for hitting you on the head with the pillow. After a while of messing around you began "Okay let's just sleep on the same bed but put pillows in the middle is that okay?"you said exhausted and out of breath. THere is no way any of you would fit in your small couch so Heeseung just agreed.

Instead of sleeping you both just talked about random stuff, how Heeseung became a trainee, if you had any siblings, music taste and anything till 4 in the morning when Heeseung heard snores while he was explaing his childhood talent show. He surely adored your sleeping face and fell asleep watching you. 

You had woken up to your alarm and so had Heeseung, after turning off the alarm you couldn't help but laugh at how cute Heeseung looked . "Why what's wrong?" he asked rubbing his eyes "nothing you look adorable, you can go freshen up first then i'll drive you to the dorms" he just smiled and got up unlike sunghoon who would want to sleep 10 minutes more. As you said, you dropped him off at the dorms and went to Jihun's office.

Even if you didn't say or show it you were worried about what Sunghoon did after 7 PM and so by giving the excuse of 'forgetting his schedule' you asked Jihun where he went. "Oh? you don't know? he goes to the club and then a hotel as his schedule stays empty after mc'ing." Oh. It all made sense now, all those 'scars' him always coming after showering and drunk with the smell of women's cheap perfume. But why were you feeling like this? It's not like you both were dating or anything even jf you did confess? he had rejected you. You couldn't believe it. You thought he would've moved on. You knew you weren't the only one feeling this.

"Hyung? Where have you been?" Sunghoon asked the older boy, he didn't know if he should say that he spend the night at the house of his member's 'friend' or crush but he couldn't lie to him either. "At YN's place as we forgot the keys to my apartment" he said calmly, "Oh? so that's why she didn't call me?" the older one just sighed "Sunghoon you cant expect her to only run behind you, I know you love her you should just tell her.. stop going behind her back and doing shit how would she feel if she found out?" Sunghoon just scoffed "You should be the last person to tell me this after sleeping over at her place" he said slowly getting heated up, thankfully none of the members were home, Jake, Jay and Niki were recording while Sunoo and Jungwon were at their radio show."You don't own her, I'm not here to argue about her, just stop and confess to her before she finds out herself" he tried to be calm "Hyung you don't need to tell me what to do, I know her well enough to know what to do to win her over" he said ready to walk out when- "know he?" he laughs in between before continuing " do you even know what she was going through these few months when her mother died? No, youre to hung up on Hyunhee just give YN a chance stop fucking around." Heeseung snaps back before going to his room.

Sunghoon was speechless but still mad and possibly jealous over the fact that you let Heeseng stay over so he went to meet Jihun to ask why you hadn't come yet. "Oh YN, she took a break for a week" he said before going back into a phone call about a new brand deal while Sunghoon stood confused "why would you suddenly take a break?" Completing his schedule faster than usual he drives to your place, t was 6 PM a lot eralier than he usually would come, it was raining heavily so the sky was dark already. He had a bad feeling but he had to confront you, maybe even tell his feelings like Heeseung adviced?

He twisted the door knob and surprisingly it was unlock but that wasn't more shocking than what he saw inside, you were blankly staring at the city infront of you through the window of your living room with a cigarette between your hand. "Since when did you smoke and let guys I didn't want you to be with come in your house?" you flinched but turned to face him and stood up, "Since when did you start coming so early, are you done fucking your hoes in a hotel?" you spoke quieter, looking at him with glossy eyes. "Answer the questio- YN what?" he said quite shook and taken aback by what you said.

 "Tell me what youre doing on the other side." you start backing up "YN-" 'Just tell me what youre doing with those other girls!" you spoke through your tears "Tell me why youre always wasted when we talk, tell me why you only remember my name in the mornings..." "YN no listen to me I love yo-" he tries grabbing your hand but you back away, both of you pathetically crying now. "Running in circles now look what you've done... I trusted you.. and what the hell are we? tell me we werent just friends? this doesn't make no sense!" you said gripping your hair "YN I really do love you I didn't mean to- " he fell down on his knees "You said youre not ready.. I  was waiting for you to move on, only to find out I'm the rebound" you laugh bitterly "YN No- please give me a chance..-"  you pointed at the door "leave." he seemed shocked "Y-YN no youre not fine I can't leave." you only laughed "I'll be fine without you babe" 

That's when he realised he had completely losed you..

after he felt, you decided to call heeseung

"YN? What's wrong?"

"H-hee please come ove-over"

He left.. again. like everyone does you were shaken up. The only person who gave you their attention was Sunghoon, despite not saying anything he made you feel special. you had confessed your feelings to him once and he said he needed time. what has this led to. I should've known. "YN?" Heeseung came in, he seemed shocked  at your state. You were shaking a thrown cigarette on the floor while your hair was a mess, tears kept streaming down your face. He ran up to you taking you in his embrace, he didnt want someone so precious in this much pain. It hurt him too. "W-why did h-he even give m-me ho-hope?- if h-he want-ted something e-else" you spoke in broken words but Heeseng understood, he figured you found out what Sunghoon had been doing. "Shh.. it's okay you deserve better calm down" he rocked you back and forth before you calmed down just softly crying in his embrace. 

You were on his lap while he held you protectively in his arms. "I know this isn't the right time but, I -I just want you to know I'm here for you.. I probably haven't loved you as long as sunghoon did but if you give me a chance i promise I'd never let you go.." Before you could say anything he attached his soft lips on yours, you didn't kiss him back. You were too taken aback. He soon detached his lips from you and said "I get it if you don't want this I'm still with you" He hugged you tighter before you spoke up "I n-need you too Heeseung but please let me heal before I trust you again.."

"I'll help you heal" He said before you fell asleep, tired from heartbreak and love yet being comforted by the person who you'll soon start loving.

you maybe truly will be fine without him

author’s note: my hand hurts but hey it was worth it, ngl i enjoyed writing this and I hope y’all like it <3 parmanent taglist is open

[jihyocentric]

cant stop thinking about daddy nayeon… i noticed that jihyo got a size kink so may i please request something a long the lines of nahyo bought a new toy that’s the thickest jihyo ever tried (maybe it’s a knotted toy 😳)

but anyways, nayeon is filming the process of preparing jihyo to be able to take the entire toy and when jihyo finally hilts the entire thing, nayeon is praising how pretty jihyo looks stretched around the toy and how proud she is of jihyo being able to take all of it. saying that she’s a dirty girl being all messy and unable to speak coherently

maybe jihyo squirts around the toy or is extra sensitive, up to you or you can totally ignore this. i just needed to share this bc that most recent nahyo post got me 🥵

jihyo is really the number 1 size queen, nobody likes a challenge more than her. based on this fill.

-

"hyo, talk to me!"

nayeon is nearly whining when she grips jihyo's arm, making the wolf in sheep's clothing that was her girlfriend turn her head around.

jihyo had been a pragmatic and unapproachable to nayeon ever since they've met. later on, nayeon realized that jihyo was only like that to her, and nobody else. to others, jihyo was a total sweetheart, the type of person to share big smiles and light up the room, but nayeon was an exception. and if nayeon was an exception, in her mind, that could only mean that she was special to jihyo. (she wasn't all that wrong.)

after jihyo gave nayeon a chance, an actual chance that was not only corresponding to her flirting but really making things official (and nayeon made sure jihyo wouldn't go back on her decision of becoming her girlfriend by making her sign a fake contract that she quickly wrote down on a napkin), nayeon came to the conclusion that jihyo was not that threatening or unapproachable. jihyo became a soft girlfriend who loved to be in her arms and hear anything silly nayeon had to say, and it really took nayeon by surprise.

it was when they had their first fight that nayeon realized that, despite being adorable, her so called 'babygirl' could look scary at times. it happened mostly when jihyo thought nayeon was being too much and gave her the cold shoulder, or when nayeon fed bbuyo more than what he needs and makes her cat look huge with the amount of canned food nayeon gave him (in her defense, he kept asking for more and she couldn't resist his cuteness because he was just like his owner), or when nayeon didn't stop girls from flirting with her and it made jihyo's blood boil under her skin.

that look of displeasure on jihyo's face was hot, but it was particularly scary and nayeon didn't know if she loved it or if she wanted to hide, afraid that if she said anything jihyo would get even angrier.

"you want us to make a sex tape? is that what you're suggesting?" jihyo asks, her voice low and eyes focusing on the tv nayeon had back in her room. it was smaller than the one at the living room, but it was a perfect setting for when they wanted to cuddle and watch movies.

jihyo didn't look happy to hear what nayeon had to say, but she didn't look unhappy either. she was frowning just like she did when she was angry, and had her arms crossed. unfortunately, nayeon didn't know how to explain what she wanted in a better way.

"i-i'll be away for two weeks, hyo... i just want to have something to remind me of you when i'm touring. i even bought a new toy for us to try out!" nayeon tries to sound serious but it comes out more like a blabber, and jihyo looks at her with a straight face that makes her shiver.

being clearly more mature than her girlfriend, despite their two year age gap where jihyo is the youngest, jihyo thinks about the possible consequences to nayeon's wish.

"aren't you worried about it leaking? what if someone finds the video and posts it online? nayeon, we need to be careful with those things." she says it softly, sighing because suddenly the idea of getting recorded while nayeon went down on her sounded way too appealing.

"i won't have it on my phone!" nayeon is quick to reply. "nor the computer. i bought a camera for this, and the video is staying there. it'll be even less likely to leak, you can trust me on that," she says, then clears her throat, knowing that if she showed jihyo the other item that she'd bought, maybe the younger would change her mind. "wait, i'll show you the toy."

before jihyo gets a say, nayeon gets up from the bed and runs towards her wardrobe, getting a box from there and then placing it on the bed. jihyo gets curious, sitting on her knees as she watches nayeon untie the ribbon on it, in order to open the box.

"i thought about giving it to you as a gift," nayeon says, taking the toy from the box. "it's why it's baby blue! so you'll think of me when i'm not here!"

jihyo wants to slap her own face when she sees nayeon holding a dildo while acting as if that was just a regular gift. nayeon smiled like a cute bunny, and jihyo didn't have the heart to find it ridiculous. instead, she found it precious. it doesn't even look like nayeon is the same person she calls daddy and makes her see stars in bed, but jihyo was used to that contrast already.

"is that a..." jihyo's eyes widens when she realizes there's a bump at the base of the toy. "is that a knot?"

nayeon nods. "it is! i thought you would like to... you know... get knotted by daddy."

instead of slapping nayeon anywhere her hands can reach, because nayeon does sounds ridiculous now, jihyo blushes at the dirty thought of getting that thing inside of her. all of it. it looked bigger than the biggest toy they owned before, and jihyo didn't know if she'd be able to get it in deep enough for the knot to fit, but she was definitely going to give it a try.

if it is a challenge, then jihyo won't say no.

"okay." jihyo says, taking nayeon by surprise when she seemingly agrees to indulge her.

"really, baby? can i record us?" nayeon asks, and if she had a tail it would be wagging fast at that point.

jihyo nods. "okay."

it's all jihyo says, and nayeon takes it as a permission to go get the camera. she places the box somewhere else and sets the camera in a place where it would get the bed in a good angle, where she was sure they would appear clearly and nicely.

as nayeon knew that the new toy was considerably thicker and lengthier than what jihyo was used to taking, and that jihyo always wanted to start with fingers first (it was the better way to stretch and get jihyo wet enough), she helped jihyo take her clothes off and went straight to her favorite place, eagerly placing kisses across the valley of jihyo's breasts.

that was truly what nayeon loved the most. watching as jihyo lost composure and became a person no one but her knew about was delightful in many ways, even more so when the younger was already writhing at the slightest touch on her tits — nayeon found it endearing even, and she couldn't help but get wet with the fact that the same girl who was making her quiver in fear just minutes ago when she looked slightly angry, was now calling her daddy as she sneaked a finger inside of her dripping pussy.

jihyo was stiff at first, she couldn't help but be extremely conscious at the fact that they were being recorded. not only could that video leak, but if nayeon wanted to watch it when she wasn't supposed to and any of her band mates saw jihyo as that whimpering mess, entirely submissive to nayeon (or, as jihyo herself calls, daddy), she'd dig her own grave and bury herself alive.

nayeon seems to notice it and she stops, keeping her finger in jihyo but taking her mouth off her nipple. "relax, babygirl. what's going on? do you want to stop?"

jihyo shakes her head. "it's okay. one more finger, please."

nayeon complies, sliding another finger in her slick entrance, placing a kiss on jihyo's neck. "if you want to stop at any point, tell me and i'll stop recording..."

"no, it's alright. i want to give you something to remind of me when you're away, too. just promise me you won't show it to anybody. and that you'll be careful with that camera." jihyo says while looking into nayeon's eyes. she trusted her, obviously, but she wanted nayeon to give her reassurance.

"of course i promise," nayeon pecks her lips softly. "i'd never let anybody watch my girl getting fucked."

jihyo sighs and pouts. "there you go ruining the moment."

nayeon smiles and kisses her pout before she dives back into her tits. nayeon could never get satisfied, latching on jihyo's nipples hungrily as she thrusts her fingers in and out, feeling proud when jihyo moans and her narrow walls tightens around her fingers, knowing she was doing a great job.

without pulling her fingers out, nayeon inches away from jihyo's breasts, placing gentle kisses over her tummy and then her thighs, then looks up at jihyo as her mouth finally went to where jihyo needed. nayeon was way better than jihyo had originally thought — her ego was too big and jihyo thought she was all bark no bite, but then she found out about how talented nayeon was in bed and everything changed.

jihyo's back arched, closing her eyes tightly when nayeon kisses her just right in her most sensitive spot, she was already too sensitive and they hadn't even gotten the toy yet. all it took was nayeon's command for jihyo to come and the younger's thighs were suddenly trying to close, despite nayeon's head being right there to prevent that from happening.

"there you go, babygirl. did that feel good?" nayeon asks, placing a kiss over jihyo's tummy.

jihyo hums. "more than good." she touches nayeon's face and brings it closer, letting her hands on nayeon's cheeks as she kisses her deeply. "i'm ready now, daddy. give it to me."

nayeon nods, almost eagerly, taking her fingers out and sucking them dry as jihyo watches. she takes the strap, placing the new toy where the dildo should go, and jihyo flushes at the thought of really taking it all. the reality finally hits her and she finds it too big. perhaps her need to win had taken her too far this time, and maybe she should give up. but then she saw nayeon happily lubing it up and she didn't have the heart to tell nayeon that she was chickening out.

jihyo took a deep breath, reminding herself that she was no coward.

"i'll go slow." nayeon reassures, placing the bottle of lube at the nightstand where she could grab easily if needed, although jihyo was wet enough by herself and the amount she'd spread across the shaft should work just fine.

"you better," jihyo hisses, letting nayeon settle between her thighs.

"feisty kitten." nayeon coos. "i should get you ears and a tail when i come back. you'd make a pretty kitty."

nayeon is such a sweet talker that jihyo almost doesn't feel the tip of the toy sliding inside of her. almost, because it's impossible to ignore it when it was that big, and the first reaction she has is to sink her nails in nayeon's shoulders, making the aspiring rockstar whimper at the stinging pain.

"this is too big... i can't," jihyo whines, part of her enjoying the intense stretch, but she also felt pain. nayeon lets jihyo discount the pain on her shoulders, moaning at the way the harness brushes against her own clit, pushing it further in despite jihyo's disbelief in herself. "daddy!"

"it's already halfway in, babygirl. you look so pretty," nayeon inches closer, brushing their lips together before she takes jihyo's lips in hers briefly. "even prettier when stretched around my cock."

the sensation of pain jihyo feels at first becomes more bearable and she starts to enjoy it. nayeon doesn't try to sink deeper, keeping short and slow thrusts that makes jihyo moan huskily against her lips, until she feels jihyo's legs wrapping around her waist as a sign that she should keep going and stuff her more.

"want more," jihyo asks, almost pleads, feeling vulnerable at nayeon's mercy. "think i can take it."

"of course you can. my pretty girl can take anything i give her." nayeon praises, moving her hips forward tentatively and reaching deeper, watching closely as jihyo's eyes start to water. "crybaby."

"faster!" jihyo asks, hands getting lost on nayeon's back.

nayeon doesn't refrain from putting more effort behind her thrusts, she knew just how jihyo liked it — intense and rough. slow and passionate could wait for some other time, because all jihyo wanted was to keep getting more of that shaft inside of her and nayeon complied, loving the way jihyo cried out whenever she pushed in deeper, until jihyo could feel the bump at the base of the shaft prodding at her entrance. the same one she'd seen earlier.

the feeling made her legs tremble, finally acknowledging that she had managed to take the entire shaft inside of her. jihyo even dared to take a look between them, cheeks getting red when she noticed the slight elevation on her tummy. that toy was that thick and jihyo took it proudly.

jihyo started to love the way it stretched her sooner than nayeon would've thought. it was intense and left jihyo breathless, but she kept wanting more. nayeon was evidently more than happy to give her anything she asked, holding jihyo's waist with both hands as she sped up, almost drooling at the sight of her girlfriend's pussy being greedily stretched by the toy, wanting to know what would be jihyo's reaction if she slipped that knot in.

it was certainly tempting and nayeon would love to see her messy girl cry and struggle to take it, but she wouldn't do anything jihyo didn't want. yet it seemed as if jihyo had read nayeon's mind, tapping nayeon's big hands that secured her hips, asking for her attention.

"i want you to push it inside me." jihyo asks, needy and all flushed, making nayeon slow her thrusts down. jihyo whines at the lost of pace, walls clamping around the thick shaft, one of her hands slipping between them so she could rub her swollen clit.

"ask politely." nayeon says, almost growls, feeling as if she was losing her sanity by seeing jihyo trying to fuck herself on the very same shaft she had thought she wouldn't be able to take.

looking up at nayeon with her eyes dark with lust, jihyo licks her lips, knowing exactly what she should say to absolutely break nayeon.

"please knot me, daddy."

"fuck." it's all nayeon says before she takes off, kissing jihyo deeply as she speeds up.

jihyo doesn't have to wait much, gladly, because nayeon forces the knot in soon enough, and it makes her moan loudly.

she cries, her cheeks get wet from the painful stretch but it feels better than anything she'd ever experienced, guiding her into a strong orgasm that makes her sob into nayeon's neck. she stops rubbing her clit and hugs nayeon as she comes down from the edge, nayeon's sweet words muttered close to her ear helping her get back to normal.

"are you alright, hyo?" nayeon asks softly, pressing kisses down jihyo's shoulder.

jihyo lets go of nayeon and lays limp on the bed, regaining her strengths ever so slowly. she can't answer with words, so instead she nods.

"can't even speak, huh?" nayeon coos, moving away so she could gaze at her well done work. "just one time won't be enough, though. it's two weeks that i'll be away. you better get ready, hyo."

jihyo can only shudder when she feels nayeon nibbling at her neck.

[twicearoundthesun]

“You can’t be mad.” Momo’s back was against the door, barring them from entering the apartment. She seemed to be stalling.

Nayeon stiffened. She felt Jihyo do the same, next to her.

“The kids are fine.” Momo added, quickly.

They relaxed – marginally.

“Momo, what did you do?” Jihyo said from beside her, obviously anxious to get inside their shared apartment.

“I didn’t do anything. Nothing bad.” Nayeon trusted Momo to take care of the kids wholeheartedly, but the girl was making her nervous. “I did something good. Very good, and you’ll love it. Eventually.”

She turned back towards the apartment, poking her head in to check something before walking inside. Jihyo and her followed.

“Momo, if you dyed my three-year-old sister’s hair bright pink, our mother will haunt you.”

“I like to think Mrs. Im would have found pink hair unique and exciting. Especially if it came from me, her favorite friend of her daughter’s.” Nayeon glared. Jihyo rolled her eyes. “But Chaeyoung’s hair is the same color you left it, I promise.” They finished pulling off their shoes in the entrance hallway and followed Momo into the living room.

The apartment wasn’t on fire, there wasn’t paint on the walls, and everything – including the kids - seemed to be in one piece. In fact, it might have actually been cleaner than before, the girls’ toys no longer littering the carpet. Sana stood in front of the couches, bouncing a fast-asleep Dahyun on her hip and watching lovingly as Chaeyoung and Tzuyu pet Boo, who was laying on his side in front of them. The girl’s backs were to them, and Nayeon could see everyone’s hair was the correct color. She breathed a sigh of relief.

At the realization new people had entered the apartment, Boo rolled over and barked. Everyone turned to look at them.

This was followed by a small yip.

Nayeon froze. Squirming out of Chaeyoung’s arms was – oh no.

“Oh god, Momo, did you bring home a rat?”

“You don’t have the right to call any animal a rat if you own a Pomeranian.” Momo said, quickly moving from her side and lifting a tiny, tiny puppy out of Chaeyoung’s grasp. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, in turn, stood and ran to hug Nayeon and Jihyo.

“UNNIE! LOOK AT THE PUPPY!” Chaeyoung held onto Nayeon’s pants and shook her leg.

“Inside voice, Chaeyoung –” She glanced up at Sana. It was too late, Dahyun was stirring.

“Unnielookatthepuppy!” Chaeyoung pulled at Nayeon again and pointed.

“I see him, Chaengie-”

“HIS NAME IS DOBBY!” Tzuyu yelled, arms around Jihyo, and everyone was too shocked to correct her ‘outside voice’. Dahyun mumbled incoherently, awake now. “We please keep him!”

Nayeon’s mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. She finally got a better look at the dog as Momo brought it over to them and – oh, god, he was cute. He couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old; he looked similar to how Boo did when Momo had first brought him home. Maybe a little younger. Fit in Momo’s arms, laying back like a tiny baby. She looked up at Momo incredulously.

“You bought another dog?!” Jihyo’s voice cut through her thoughts like a knife.

“Rescued!” Momo corrected. She glanced at Sana for support, who had just walked over to join them but looked guilty as anything. “Someone abandoned him and he… he really needed a home.”

“So you thought, I don’t know, three three year olds and two dogs wasn’t enough excitement for our home!?” Jihyo was trying to keep her voice low. She was beyond angry. Even the kids could tell - Tzuyu moved from hugging her legs to hugging Nayeon’s, and Nayeon put a hand on her back.

“Technically all the kids and one of the dogs lives with Nayeon.” Momo countered.

Nayeon could have sworn steam came out of Jihyo’s ears.

“I have an idea.” Nayeon tried to sound cheery. “Why don’t we have a little nap time?”

“Nooooo I wan’a pet Dobby!” Chaeyoung frowned. Nayeon turned to Momo, who kneeled down so she was eye level with Tzuyu and Chaeng. The two girls reached out to pet Dobby delicately.

“Babygirl. I think Dobby needs a nap, too. Remember, he’s just a baby.” Momo explained. “Say goodnight to Dobby and you three can take nice nap in mine and Sana-unnie’s bed.”

“Dobby can come nap with us! Like Boo does!” Chaeyoung beamed. Dahyun let out a little whine from Sana’s arms, who was quick to shush her and kiss her head. Nayeon guessed the same fear Dahyun had towards Boo applied to Dobby, which just about made everything worse.

Momo had heard it, too, and Nayeon caught the frown that passed her features for a second. “No, baby, Dobby has to stay out here.”

The two gave her a big pout. Dahyun hid her face in Sana, the only one clearly ready for a nap. That being said, with the excitement of the day, it took only a few minutes to get them settled. Momo looked terrified as they walked back to the living room couches, still clutching the dog to herself. Sana shifted uncomfortably, but sat with an arm around Momo’s waist.

“Momo.”

“Jihyo, he was alone. In an alley. Look at this face.” She held Dobby up. He yawned.

Jihyo just sighed and put her head in her hands. She was clearly at a loss for words.

“Momo, you can’t- these are big decisions.” Nayeon said softly. “I know.. you have a big heart and you can’t stand to see anything suffering, but… We’ve all got a lot on our plate. Maybe he should go to the shelter? He’s a puppy, he’ll definitely get adopted quick…” The betrayed look on Momo’s face and the obvious tears in her eyes made her trail off.

They were interrupted by the sound of the doorknob turning. Dahyun came wandering out, looking about as determined as three-year-olds could get.

“Unnie.” She’d said as soon as she marched up to Momo.

“Hi, baby, everything okay?” Nayeon answered for her, as Momo was trying to discretely wipe tears from her eyes.

Dahyun knit her brows, staring at the dog.

“Baby?”

“… Can pet?” Dahyun asked in the smallest voice. “Pet Dobby?”

Nayeon’s confusion was mirrored on everyone’s face. The last time Dahyun had tried to pet a dog that wasn’t Kookeu there’d been tears for almost an hour.

“Of... Of course you can, sweet girl.” Momo whispered.

Sana met eyes with Nayeon, before picking her up and placing her in her lap, within arm’s reach of Dobby.

“Dahyunnie, remember Dobby’s just a baby.” Jihyo seemed to finally get her words back. “So he could be a little, uh, excited.”

Dahyun just nodded. Took a deep breath and stared at the dog. Sana kissed her head. Dobby was sleepy, calm in Momo’s arms, but Momo still held him a little tighter so he’d be still. Dahyun reached a little finger out and slowly ran it over the top of his back paw a few times. The dog seemed unbothered, if he felt it at all.

“Great job Dahyunnie!” Sana cooed, rubbing her back.

A smile spread on Dahyun’s face. “Soft.”

“Yes, very soft.” Momo whispered. Nayeon noted the adoration in her eyes, watching Dahyun face her fears.

Dahyun switched from essentially poking his leg to very hesitantly reaching her hand over and patting his tummy once. The dog picked its head up and looked at her curiously, and the whole room tensed as she pulled her hand back quickly. But Dahyun just mirrored the curious look and tried it again, this time rubbing his belly for a second before pulling back. She beamed up at Momo.

“I like Dobby.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmh.” She nodded, leaning her head to the side against Sana and taking a deep breath. That was enough excitement for the time being, it seemed. “Happy he’s here.”

This seemed to fill Momo with joy and sadness at the same time. Nayeon’s chest ached. She broke. There was no way they’d send this dog to the shelter now, was there? She spared a sideways glance at Jihyo, who looked deep in thought.

“Dobby is –ah. Dobby’s going to get really big. Maybe bigger than Boo.” When Dahyun didn’t react, Momo continued. “We.. Might not, uh-”

“You won’t be too afraid of Dobby once he’s bigger than Boo, right Dahyun-ah?” Jihyo interrupted her.

Dahyun shook her head. “Dobby is nice.”

“Good. It’s going to be crazy with two puppies. But it seems like we collect strays in this house.” She looked at Momo pointedly. “Dobby will be the last one for a very long time.”

Momo’s face lit up. Nayeon let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Of course! Yes!”

Jihyo just shook her head and stood. Dahyun stuck her arms out and Jihyo obliged, lifting her out of Sana’s lap and onto her hip. “But now it’s naptime. You can pet Dobby more once you’ve napped, okay?”

Dahyun nodded, hiding her face in Jihyo’s neck. As Jihyo walked her towards the bedroom, Nayeon heard the kid ask if she saw her pet Dobby. She laughed.

“You’re lucky our three-year-old just saved your ass.” Nayeon chuckled. Momo just beamed down at the puppy, now asleep in her arms.

[themoonofartemis]

— TITLE: Jealousy, Jealousy.

— CHARACTERS: Qian Chang Chang.

— WORD COUNT: 1.0k.

— WARNINGS/NOTES: Crying, low self-esteem, implied suicidal thoughts.

— TIME PERIOD: 2019.

— SUMMARY: In which Chang Chang knows she’s not as good as the other members.

Sometimes, Chang Chang thinks it would be better if she just disappeared.

Sitting on her bedroom’s floor with her phone in hands, she scrolled through the comments of one of Artemis’ performances, tears rolling down her eyes. No one praised her, not even malicious commenters cared about her enough to comment something. How could she feel so alone when all eyes were supposedly at her? This isn’t what she wanted, this isn’t what she dreamed of. She knows it shouldn’t matter, she knows she should just turn off her phone, pretend comments don’t exist and keep doing her job; yet, she kept scrolling.

Rowan looks so pretty in this performance.

Nayeon’s voice is insane, she’s definitely one of the best vocalists i have ever seen.

Sujin doesn’t have many lines but she always shines so much in the performances! I can’t take my eyes off of her.

None of these comments were about her, wasn’t she enough? Did she deserve to debut as an idol? She doesn’t really add anything to the group, what was she doing here? No matter how much she efforts herself, there will always be people who are way better than her. It makes her so disappointed in herself that it angers her, she knows she shouldn’t compare herself to other members, it wasn’t their fault, was it? Chang Chang is the only one to blame for her complete failure, she’s just not talented or interesting enough to catch anyone’s attention.

Maybe it is the price she has to pay to live her dream, to be ignored by her own fans even when she didn’t do anything. She doesn’t even know if she has any fans; the rare times she sees someone talking about her on social media it’s never because of her talent or even her looks, but because of something funny or cute she did in a random variety show. Did she train for nothing?

She couldn’t help being jealous, she knows her members had to go through a lot to be as good as they are today, but didn’t she went through a lot too? That’s what angered her, it didn’t make sense. What does the others have that she doesn’t? She should be as recognized for her talents as they are. Chang Chang knows she’s being selfish, but she is as ambitious as the others can be.

They try to comfort her, saying they think she’s beautiful just the way she is, but they’re probably just saying that to make her feel better. She knows they’re only saying that because they’re her friends. She should more grateful they are trying to make her feel happy about herself.

Would they miss her if she was dead?

Chang Chang turns her phone off and puts it next her. She should breathe and just act as her bubbly, normal self; but the tears only began falling more. She covered her face in a attempt to muffle the sounds she let out as she cried, the members shouldn’t see her looking miserable like this. She is just a young little girl who doesn’t know real problems and victimizes herself for attention, that’s what she is. Why should she care about something as small as her traction when there’s people who are suffering way more? She actually lived too good of a life, then why is she not feeling good?

Maybe this is all a dream, maybe she doesn’t actually exists and all of this will be over soon. But no matter how much she pinched herself, it was all real.

There she goes, sad, little, Chang Chang, crying over nothing while her best friends are having a good time.

She knows she should do something about it, everyone says determination can lead you to anything. But she has no idea of what to do, she was always too passive to get out of her comfort zone, maybe that’s what makes her the worst idol to ever step on a stage.

But she can still be at least an average friend.

That’s why she makes the decision to get up and sit in front of her dressing table, she stares directly at her teary eyes as she gets a tissue and starts wiping her tears off, slowly putting a smile on her lips and pretending like nothing happened to her. It was the least she could do, she prayed that no one would notice the mild change of tone in her voice or her still quite red eyes. At least she knew no one would notice the ache she felt inside her heart, she wouldn’t let anyone notice it. She is still Chang Chang, she is still the cutest member of the group, she is still their youngest member.

She wouldn’t let anyone know how she feels angry, how she feels jealous inside, how she wants to escape from this reality at her worst moments. She would only let them know how grateful she feels for being able to debut with her closest friends that are like family to her, that’s what everyone should know, no one should be burdened by her irrelevant matters.

Chang Chang smiles once again to her reflection in the mirror, she was pretty, she should convince herself of that. But now it’s not time to think about such things, she has to get out of her room and hang out with her fellow members as a good friend should do.

She gets up and walks to the door, taking one more look at her room and at the turned off phone that was still on the ground. She should forget this moment ever happened, that she ever read any comments in that video, it didn’t matter anyway. She takes a deep breath and opens the door, erasing all of this from her memory.

She was still in pain.

[sevlgi]

aphrodisiac

requested: no

group: twice 

pairing: mina x fem!reader

genre: fluff, extremely mild and short angst

contents: witch!mina, love potions, college!au

warnings: none

synopsis: You’re broke and desperate, so you don’t think twice before taking a love potion that’ll make you fall in love with a mysteriously perfect girl. But maybe you should. 

a/n: hehe i like the idea of this!! i’m just not sure how well i executed it 🤔 happy valentines day, my loves ❤

word count: 6.0k

While everyone knew that working the 9-12 weekday shift at the campus bookstore was the worst job you could possibly get, you didn’t feel quite as exhilarated to have been laid off as you should have.

As the one who had suffered at the hand of old Mrs. Lee for almost the entire duration of your time on campus, you knew the torture better than most. So it was an understatement to say that you were exhilarated to be free of ironing book pages out and restocking the shelves at Mrs. Lee’s whims, that you were practically beaming when you got the email.

But on the other hand, it wasn’t like you had much money to spare, or like you had the ability to find another job in the crowded university. When you felt your wallet in your back pocket, completely empty save for a couple crinkled receipts, the grin faded from your face; after all, it would be even harder to survive without the aid of your measly salary.

So as you pinched together a couple quarters to buy yourself a consolatory iced chocolate, you found that being let go from the shittiest job in the world didn’t feel as triumphant as you had expected. Not when you were, once again, scouring the papers stabled to the lightposts around the campus for anything that offered a quick paycheck.

Well, almost anything.

“I will not.”

“Why?” Lisa was close to whining, though the pout that she directed fully at you did her no favors. “You said you needed to get paid.”

You sighed, “I said i needed to get paid, not launched in the air like a damn cannonball.”

Lisa scowled and tapped her fingers on her face, her hands still cupping her chin as she attempted to convince you. “Come on, the dance team’s willing to pay. It costs less to pay you than to get a dummy, so--”

“That’s not helping to convince me,” you warned. As desperate as you were, and as much as you liked Lisa and her fellow dancers, you definitely didn’t trust them not to launch you in the air and break your neck. “Are you sure that you don’t know about any other job offers? Anything that won’t murder me?”

She considered it, chewing on her bottom lip. You could feel other students eyeing where you sat, one of the only seats in the incredibly tiny boba shop, but you refused to budge until Lisa gave you an answer. “Oh! There is one I can think of, actually. You know the bio lab?”

“Yeah.” You watched her suspiciously, arms crossed. “I’ve been there a couple times. Why?”

“Well, it isn’t a normal bio lab,” Lisa mumbled, leaning in as if what she was about to tell you was the greatest secret in the world. “A lot of them are witches, you know.”

It wasn’t like you didn’t believe in witches, or the supernatural-- both had been proven to be true eons ago, and almost half of the students attending your university weren’t completely human. But you were still a little skeptical that the pretty and equally brilliant girls who ran the campus’s bio lab were... “Witches? Are you sure?”

“Why would I be lying?” Lisa rolled her eyes. “I’m friends with a couple of them, and I know that they’re doing an... experiment of sorts, and they need--”

“Lab rats,” you finished for the dancer. In all rationality, being a lab rat for a couple of young witches with access to a high-tech lab was probably worse than getting launched up in the air by a dance team, but when Lisa slid a flyer over and your eyes widened at the offered money, you instantly stood. “Take me.”

Lisa pouted but stood anyway, taking the flyer back to squint at the tiny scribbled building number. “I can’t believe you trust Mina more than you trust me.”

“Mina? Is that the name of the ‘witch’ I’m selling myself to?” you asked, slightly sarcastic but also slightly curious. At the dancer’s nod, you exhaled lightly and shoved your seat in just to watch the next people scramble for it, and hummed on your way out, “Then let’s meet this Mina.”

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that your entire school was close to dilapidated, but something about the bio lab was almost creepy as you approached it. Lisa had long since set off for the dance room (something about Seulgi breaking Ten’s ankle, she claimed), so you hesitated in front of the cloudy glass door alone. But the thought of the $600 dollars scrawled onto the flyer scrunched in your fist prompted you to push the doors open and step into the lab.

There was already a decent amount of people buzzing around inside; you recognized quite a few of them and nearly laughed at the amount of students willing to possibly be poisoned. But you took the nearest empty seat as someone appeared at the front of the room.

“Wow, this is a great turnout.”

The crowd chuckled lightly, and your eyes nearly bugged out at the sight of the girl standing at the front with papers in her hands. Honestly, she was the kind of girl that you imagined people wrote love songs about-- absolutely perfect without having to really do anything, elegant and soft in a way that still stood out. She smiled slightly and waved, eyes darting around the room. “Hi. I’m Mina, I’m part of the coven that sent out the flyers.”

You joined in the chorus of greetings, but your eyes stayed fixed on Mina at the front of the room. You could see several other girls lurking around in the shadows, probably the other members, though they kept beckoning Mina to speak on her own. “Um, I’ll just... explain the project to you,” she chuckled nervously, darting over to the computer.

Once a slide was displayed on the wall, she rushed back to the front and explained, “Being a potions-focused coven and also biology majors, we wanted to conduct an experiment. A love potion, or an aphrodisiac in scientific terms.”

Murmurs arose around you, and even your eyebrows scrunched together; as far as you knew, aphrodisiacs weren’t real, and if they were, they were probably illegal. In response, Mina raised her hands and her voice slightly to call out, “Hey, hey. It’s an experiment. We were originally planning to accept all of you, but... I think it’ll be hard to conduct an experiment with 50 people, so please fill out the form we pass out.”

And like that, Mina joined the rest of her friends in passing out the clipboards. You didn’t watch them, only scanned the lab for any signs that you were about to die, so when you were tapped on the shoulder, you almost fell off your stool. It was Mina herself, a slight pink tinting her pale skin as she held out one of the forms to you. “Uh. Thanks.” You accepted it with a bow of your head, staring down at the paper. It looked legitimate, with areas for your age, your height--

“What’s your name?”

In your haste to read over the paper, you hadn’t noticed that Mina hadn’t left. When you looked back up, you could feel heat burning at the tops of your ears, and you answered, “Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N, though you’ll read it on my application.”

“Oh. Of course. Thanks for coming, Y/N,” Mina mumbled, bowing before moving on to someone else. You noted that she didn’t ask for the name of anyone else, but you passed it off and turned back to the form. Since when did becoming a coven’s lab rat require your blood type, anyway?

After nearly a week, you had almost given up on being accepted into the experiment. But just 5 days after turning your form in, you got the text.

Unknown number [4:57]  Is this Y/N Y/L/N? My name is Mina, we met at the bio lab last week. I’m texting to tell you that you got accepted into the program; we’re meeting at the lab again at 9:00 tonight to discuss the experiment further.

You [5:00]   yeah, it’s me. i’ll be there.

It wasn’t like what you wore to the meeting mattered; all you were doing was being briefed on exactly what was about to happen to you. But all through your classes of the day, through your futile studying, you couldn’t keep your mind off the experiment that you had somehow been accepted into, and whether it was a good idea to go at all.

Suffice to say, you went.

“Y/N?” the girl at the entrance of the lab asked. You recognized her from the week before-- dark hair, bunny-toothed smile. “You are Y/N, right?”

“Yeah,” you answered, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “Why?”

“Oh, nothing,” she smiled. “We’re just taking roll, making sure everyone’s here. Take a seat inside, if you will.”

You obliged, nodding awkwardly before brushing past her. To your relief, the lab was nowhere as packed as it had been the week before, 7 people including yourself seated on the stools as the girls fiddled with test tubes in the back. One pair of eyes in particular lingered on you, before Mina was pulled back to talk, but your cheeks warmed nonetheless.

“Okay, everyone!” someone else announced, clapping her hands together. “My name’s Jihyo, I’m the head of the coven. This is Nayeon” -- the bunny-toothed girl from earlier waved-- “and Mina. We’ll be explaining the experiment to you today.”

She pulled the projector down and Nayeon stepped up, flashing a grin at all of you. “Basically, we made an aphrodisiac. And to test it, we’ll have all of you do the exact same things with the exact same person-- Mina.”

Mina stepped forward this time, and you couldn’t help smiling at the shy smile that tugged at her lips. “To keep conditions equal, you’ll all be going on the exact same 2 dates with me,” she explained. “I’ll take notes on how you act around me, and we’ll test how you feel about me at the very end. Any questions?”

The room was basically silent and honestly, you couldn’t see a downside to it either. Take a potion once and go on dates with a pretty girl, then get observed like a hamster on its wheel so you could get paid? A million times better than your old job. “Great,” Jihyo nodded. “Then, we’ll get started. If Y/N could be the first one? You’ll just go into a room with Mina to get interviewed and take your first dose.”

“Don’t die,” someone called out as you passed, and you flashed a glare despite not knowing who it was. Nayeon giggled as she opened the door for you and closed it behind you, leaving you in what you assumed to be a supply closet. Romantic.

“Hi,” Mina greeted softly, already seated across the table. “I’ll just ask you a series of questions, if that’s okay.”

“Go for it.”

“Rate how attracted you are to me on a scale from 1 to 10.”

Your jaw dropped immediately; for the first question, it was awfully invasive, especially when Mina voiced it with such a straight face. But you straightened your spine and answered stiffly, “9.” 

It should’ve been 10, but you weren’t trying to look like a literal creep; Mina only hummed and marked a circle on her form, moving on to ask, “Are you considering dating anyone else at the moment?”

“No.”

And in that manner, the questions passed decently quickly, with Mina asking them as flatly as possible and you answering them with the exact same tone. As soon as she set the clipboard aside, though, she returned to her original sweet state. “I’ll just have you swallow this now, if that’s okay.”

The test tube was cold to the touch when you uncapped it, and the liquid inside was suspiciously clear. But you barely gave it a passing glance before downing it like a shot, asking with narrowed eyes, “Is it supposed to taste like nothing?”

“Well, we figured that not everyone would like to taste tequila once a week with none of the good effects,” Mina chuckled and placed the empty test tube in its place.

“How fast will I see results?” you questioned as you stood. “Like, am I gonna wake up in a cold sweat tonight because I can’t handle how much I suddenly love you?”

The girl shook her head, though it was a bit hesitant. “I don’t believe so. It should only become more prominent once you see me more often. Which reminds me, I’ll text you about our first date as soon as I can. Thank you for participating, Y/N.”

You snatched your jacket up and stumbled your way out of the room as quickly as you could, hoping no one was looking as you closed the door behind you with a quivering pulse.

Despite the witch’s words, you were sure that the potion was already taking effect. Why else would your heart start to throb terribly as you looked at her smile? 

mina [8:16]  Hello Y/N! I was wondering if you had class today?

Mouth full of cheap cup ramen noodles, you stared at your phone screen. If Mina was asking you about your schedule, she had to have something planned (for the experiment, of course. You weren’t delusional). And you weren’t sure if you were mentally ready to see her shy smile again.

But when the thought of the $600 dollar check popped into your head, you reached for your phone and started to type again. 

You [8:19]  hey, mina. i don’t have class, actually, is this something about the experiment?

mina [8:20]  Yes! If possible, please meet me at the front of the school, we’ll be visiting the food trucks at the beach. I’ll pay!

Your stomach growled at the thought of the renowned food trucks at the beach by your university, and you typed out a hasty agreement before stuffing your phone into your bag and setting off for your apartment. There was no way you were enjoying such an opportunity for good food (and perfect company) in a slightly ramen-stained hoodie.

Thankfully, Mina didn’t seem to mind you being late when you approached her. “Hi, Y/N,” she smiled and hitched her bag higher up her shoulder. “I’m glad to see you.”

“Hi,” you breathed. Well, at least you tried to-- you could barely remember how to function when faced with Mina in a slightly cropped red top, her hair tied up in a little ponytail. But you followed her down the street well enough, towards where you vaguely remembered a fleet of various food trucks to be. “So, have you already conducted this part of the experiment with everyone else?”

Mina shook her head and answered, “No, you’re the first. You took the dose first, so you’ll be a bit like the guinea pig within guinea pigs.”

You snickered at that, nearly tripping over one of the raised cracks in the ground. Sure, the way down the hill to the beach wasn’t the safest one ever, but at least it was convenient for conducting test dates. “The lab rat. You know, this doesn’t seem remotely like a scientific experiment.”

“What do you mean?” the other girl asked, eyes on yours.

Coughing, you looked away from her gaze, though you could feel her still staring at the back of your head. “I mean... it’s not exactly normal for 7 people to drink a potion that tastes like nothing, then go on dates with a pretty girl and treat that as testing.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“That’s what you got from my whole spiel?” you sighed in disbelief, turning to look at Mina. She laughed, gums showing slightly and her eyes twinkling, and you were forced to turn to the front yet again. “Whatever. Which trucks are we raiding first?”

And as it turned out, Mina was... generous. You were tempted to ask how she was going to keep herself from going broke if she bought that much food for everyone, but watching her bring yet another load of snacks over to where you sat on the wall, you weren’t sure if she cared too much. “Hey. Are you gonna pay for every date?”

“Hm?” She looked up from her Americano and considered the question. “Well, yes? I mean, we planned for the second date next week to be the fair, and I wouldn’t want any college student to have to pay for those overpriced tickets.”

“Aren’t you a college student?”

Mina hummed lightly and dug into her ice cream, sucking thoughtfully on the spoon. “Well, my parents are... well off? I’d like to put it that way, at least. And I think that when I can, I’ll use that to make others happy. Or to further our coven’s experiments.”

“Rich family,” you observed. “Cool.” To be honest, you didn’t really care about how much money anyone’s family made, but it was nice to have all that food paid for. After all, the sheer amount of things Mina bought could’ve covered several months worth of the finest ramen that the restaurants around campus could’ve offered. “Then why’d you end up going to college here with us normal people?”

She raised an eyebrow jokingly and gathered her knees to her chest. “Am I not a normal person anymore?” When you opened your mouth, slightly sheepishly, she giggled and waved a hand, answering, “I ended up choosing this college because my best friends came here. We’re all Japanese, and Sana wanted to come to Korea, so Momo and I just came along for the ride.”

“Ah.” You turned to watch the sky, the sun melting golden into the surface of the waves just a couple dozen feet away. You understood why it was called golden hour as you watched bright yellow rays flicker in Mina’s eyes and glow in her hair, and you had to resist the urge to pull out a camera and capture the feeling of a first date, as much of an experiment as it was. “Makes sense. Then-- how’d you find your coven? I don’t remember a Momo or a Sana.”

“Our coven is a bit... unconventional,” Mina nodded. “It’s just me, Nayeon, and Jihyo. You know that most covens form as children, and they train together, but we only met in college. See, none of us had our own coven, so it was natural that we came together. Momo and Sana aren’t witches, or we should’ve been together.”

You nodded in silence, prompting her to go on. And she did, a soft smile pressing her lips against her teeth as she thought about the girls eh seemed to consider her friends, or her family. “And, well, none of the three of us have had great luck finding someone to love. Or, to love us,” Mina added as an afterthought. “A love potion was just the first thing we fixated on.”

“Finding someone to love you?” you repeated, hand pressed up against your cheek. “I don’t mean that I don’t believe you, but it’s kind of hard to imagine that it’s difficult to find someone to love you. You’re pretty great, Mina.”

She laughed, “I’m glad you think so. But there’s a reason why we chose me as the one to test the potion with.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

Mina looked you right in the eyes, a kind of softness swirling in the brown of her own eyes, and responded equally quietly, “We chose me because we thought I was the hardest to fall in love with.”

“Bullshit,” you responded instantly, heat rising to your ears immediately after. But thankfully, the Japanese girl only looked endeared, and you continued, “I mean, I don’t know if this is just the potion talking, but you’re awesome. I... I think I’d like you even if I wasn’t part of this damn experiment.”

She blushed, the hue of her cheeks matching the pink clouds in the sky. “Well, I think you’re exaggerating on that. But it’s not them, I just volunteered myself. I think people just misunderstand me, you know? It’s hard to find the right person for you when you don’t let people see you. And-- I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. On a first date, too.”

“Hey.” When she looked away from you, you reached over to squeeze her hand. Mina didn’t look back up to you, but you knew she was listening from the way she chewed at her bottom lip. “It’s okay. I know what you’re saying. And I can’t say I know you yet, but I can say I wouldn’t mind knowing you. I’d like it, even.”

Mina laughed, barely loud enough for you to hear, and squeezed your hand. “Thank you, Y/N. I think we should finish our food before it gets cold.”

“Oh, yeah.” You let go to reach for one of the many desserts displayed in front of you, barely fazed by the topic change. “Wouldn’t want your parents’ money to go to waste.”

“Please let that go,” she whined.

“Not a chance,” you winked in response, laughing at her pout. “Not. A. Chance.”

“Lili, I think I’m done for.”

“Like, literally?” Lisa asked mindlessly, receiving a light hit on the head in response. “Ow, what was that for?”

You whined, “This isn’t funny. I can feel myself falling, and there’s no cushion underneath me for me to fall onto.”

The dancer rolled her eyes and reached for her milk tea. “Okay, Miss Overdramatic. You know falling doesn’t work like that, no one’s kicking you off a cliff. Especially not Myoui Mina.”

“I’m not being kicked off, I’m sliding.” You made the motions with your hand, a despondent expression on your face as you scowled, “I’m slipping through a puddle of aphrodisiac, that’s what, and Mina poured it at my feet.”

“Okay, enough with the metaphors, I’m not an English major,” Lisa sighed. She tossed a chip at your face, as if being smeared with salt and oil would wake you up from your Mina-induced trance. “You’ve gone on one date with her and spoken to her approximately twice, I think you aren’t falling just yet.”

“Did you forget the part where I’m drugged to fall in love with her?” you deadpanned.

Lisa paused at that. “Okay, I did forget that. Then what? There’s an explanation as to why you’re feeling this way, and there’s a way to get rid of it. Once you get your paycheck, you just stay away from Mina, should be easy enough, since you never met her before this. And you wait for the potion to wear off.”

“Does it wear off?” you groaned into your hands.

“Did you never ask?” Lisa asked in disbelief. “Wow, Y/N, ever heard of fine print?”

You smacked her with your rolled-up notes yet again. “Shut up. But I have a date with her tomorrow, and I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling like this because of the potion, sure, but I’m still feeling like this! And Mina has 6 other people vying for her now, all under the same effect as me. And it feels... bad.”

“Eloquent,” your friend sighed. “Then I have the perfect solution for you. Don’t go on the second date.”

“I need the money,” you shook your head. “Gimme another one.”

Lisa considered it, sucked on her straw as she did, until she shook her head. “I got nothing. All I can tell you is to enjoy it while it lasts, then just... wait. And if it doesn’t wear off, Jisoo unnie’s studying law.”

As horrible as her suggestions were, you could admit that you felt the slightest bit more assured. In the worst case scenario, you could sue Mina for winning your heart, and in the best, the somehow blissful stabs at your heart would be alleviated soon enough. 

As it turned out, you got a chauffer to the fair. Not an actual one, of course-- it was just Jeongyeon, introduced as one of Mina’s friends who could actually drive. 

You really weren’t intending to talk to her at first. She was quiet, too, didn’t even turn on the radio once she started driving, but when something that Mina said crossed your mind, you had to speak up. “Hey, Jeongyeon. Can I ask you something? About Mina?”

“Shoot,” she answered simply, keeping her eyes on the road. 

“Do you think Mina’s hard to fall in love with?”

Jeongyeon glanced at you at that, her expression slightly quizzical. “What do you mean?”

“She said something yesterday,” you explained. “Mina said that they chose her for the experiment because they thought she was the hardest to fell in love with. She said-- something about being misunderstood?”

The older girl nodded in understanding at that and blew her hair out of her face. After a short pause, she sighed, “I think that’s more of what she thinks than the rest of us. Mina... she thinks she’s unapproachable, you know. She doesn’t open up easily, so I’m surprised she told you that at all. But... she’s been hurt several times, and a lot of people think she’s mean or something similarly stupid just because she’s quiet. That’s all.”

“Oh.” You wet your lips and looked forward to the road, where you could see the fair’s Ferris Wheel already in the distance. “I see.”

And that was that. The two of you fell back into silence, and as comfortable as it was, it only gave you more time to think about what you wanted to say.

Maybe you could see why they would choose the girl who thought of herself as unapproachable and quiet to be the test, but they also didn’t seem to think about the obvious warm color to Mina that she presented. She was quiet, sure, but she was sweet, kind... there was plenty to fall in love with, and even if there wasn’t magic coursing through your system, you thought that you could’ve fallen in love with her anyway.

After bidding goodbye to Jeongyeon at the entrance, you found Mina waiting for you by the fair entrance. “Y/N!” she called out, though her voice still wasn’t loud. You could’ve spotted her anywhere anyway, and made your way over. “You’re a bit early.”

“You were earlier,” you smiled. “So. Are we ready to go in?”

“Absolutely.” Mina linked her arm in yours slightly hesitantly and surprised the both of you, but you took it in stride and swung your arm slightly to bring a smile to her face. “I’ll get our tickets, you get in line.”

“I can pay for myself,” you protested, but she waved you off. “...Okay then.”

The fair was loud, a bit too loud to hear Mina’s voice if she talked normally, so you found yourself leaning in every time she spoke. You really didn’t mind it either, feeling her words tickle your ears-- maybe it was closer than you should’ve been comfortable with, but there was a certain adrenaline pumping in your blood that you weren’t really used to. So you continued on, fed cotton candy to her despite her blush, shared a soda, won a teddy bear for her. Nothing that should’ve made your heart beat as fast as it did.

Nonetheless, time ticked by all too quickly, whirling past in a gust of quiet laughter and honestly terrible jokes. The sun set yet again, the streaks of pink and purple across powder blue oddly similar to the first date you had gone on. Mina checked her watch and frowned, “I think we only have time for one more ride before Jeongyeon comes to pick us up. What do you think?”

You barely had to ponder it before you pointed at the tall, neon-lit Ferris wheel with a smile. “Classic date ride, of course.”

“Classic,” Mina laughed in agreement. She let you tug her towards it and stood in line with you with no complaint, digging a selfie stick out from her bag. “Should we take some pictures up there? It’d be a waste of a beautiful view if we don’t.”

You shrugged, “Of course. Might as well have some pictures to remember our last date by, right?”

Mina looked caught between saying something and staying silent, but she settled with a quiet, “Sure” before starting to set her phone up. Your hand in the crook of her elbow, you tugged her forward when it was necessary, keeping your eyes away from her red-tinted lips as much as you could.

Soon enough, wind was blowing your hair off your face and the cart of the ride was creaking slightly under your weight as someone started the wheel. “Whoa,” Mina laughed breathlessly and peered over the edge. “It’s really high up.”

“And we’re only starting,” you agreed, tugging her back by the wrist. “Don’t fall over, I don’t want to get off this ride with a murder charge on my hands.”

“Hm.” Mina reached over to set the selfie stick on the seat opposite the one the two of you shared, shoving you to get you to match her smile. “Come on, 1, 2, 3.”

With every click of her phone camera, you felt yourself coming closer to her, until you could feel the rise and fall of her chest beside you. You were almost at the top of the ride in barely a couple minutes, the soft sunlight almost blinding you. As you waited for the next camera click, you felt Mina’s hand creep up your arm, up, up, until her slightly cold fingers rested on your neck. 

And then she tilted your head, fit her nose right next to yours like it belonged there, and slotted your lips together. You couldn’t think, much less fight whatever force pushed you up against her. You kissed back as best as you could with your senses battling within you, until you realized that the camera shutter had gone off at least ten times.

Mina couldn’t meet your eyes when you did pull back, and she reached over to fiddle with the camera. “Was that a part of the experiment too?” you questioned, your voice raspy.

“Maybe,” she answered, and your heart sank. But she looked up with a smile, her eyes just as confused as you felt. “And maybe not.”

“Oh. Okay,” you said dumbly, then reached over for her hand. There was nothing left to say, anyway, nothing that the slight swell to your lips didn’t already say for you, nothing that wasn’t conveyed when you leaned over to kiss her again.

The idea of allowing a love potion to work its wonders on you was like allowing yourself to be tossed into a trap. But instead of a cold, rough, and terrible trap that you would actively try to escape, you found the trap to be warm, cozy, a place that you wanted to stay-- and a place you knew that you would eventually be ejected from by force.

Once you were in the trap, though, there was no way you could pull yourself back out, especially when you didn’t really want to escape at all. You stayed up for all the nights leading up to the last time you would talk with the bio lab, just thinking about what you would do if everything that had passed by in the last couple weeks was just a figment of an aphrodisiac-induced haze. After all that time, you still didn’t quite know.

But Mina texted you often enough to pull you from that stupor. Thankfully, it wasn’t like one of those stories or dramas, where the main leads somehow fought after their first kiss-- maybe that would’ve been easier than being pulled in deeper. Instead, the two of you talked every day, even if it was only for a little while, and Mina was only worsening whatever situation you couldn’t seem to get out of.

And eventually, the day came where you’d be paid, a day that you had been looking forward to, until you began to dread it.

“Well, doesn’t someone look like a newlywed,” Nayeon greeted at the entrance with a smile, though she didn’t seem to be mocking you. “Come on in, Y/N, we’ll get you started right away.”

The closet was the exact same as it had been the first time that you stepped inside for the interview, but Mina’s smile was much more warm. “Hi, Y/N. How’re you feeling?”

“Good. Fine.” You cleared your throat and attempted to peer at her clipboard. “Questions for me?”

“Yes,” Mina nodded, flipping the pages over. “Are you ready to get started, then? On a scale from one to ten, how attracted are you to me?”

“Ten,” you answered without hesitation this time, and your smile only grew when Mina flushed.

“Okay. Are you considering dating anyone other than me right now?”

“No.” You shook your head, but gulped slightly and leaned back when Mina leaned forward to observe you.

“What about me?”

You paused, blinked, though Mina didn’t seem like she was going to move until you answered, “Yes. I would date you, absolutely.”

She flicked through the pages listlessly before setting them aside and turning back to you. Somehow, Mina looked like she was about to drop a bomb on you, her lips quivering as she calculated the right words. “I... Y/N, I have to tell you something. About the experiment.”

“I’m not going to die, am I?”

Your shitty attempt at humor did manage to prompt a smile from Mina, but she remained serious. “Not that. But- do you understand control groups? In experiments?”

“Um. I think so?” you answered, racking your brain for whatever limited knowledge of science remained with you. “It’s the normal group, right? The one that isn’t experimented on.”

“Yes, just about,” Mina nodded. She reached for your hands and clasped them within hers, eyes pleading for you to understand something that you hadn’t heard yet. “Y/N, you were the control. I... we had to make sure that it was the potion working, and not me, and you- we used you for that. You were never given any potion.”

“I...” you stammered out. Every instinct in you was screaming out to pull away from Mina’s grasp, to question every aspect of your existence that had led up to you being tricked into loving her. Somehow, everything being real only made it feel more fake, even though you now knew that what you had felt was completely you. “I don’t understand.”

Mina said softly, “You fell in love with me, or at least liked me, on your own. You didn’t work as a control group because the same thing happened to you as it did to the others, even though you never took the aphrodisiac.”

“So,” you faltered, “all seven of us fell for you. I’m just the sucker who’s in it for real, huh?”

“I was willing to sacrifice my own feelings for the experiment,” Mina clarified, shaking her head. “I knew I would fall for one of you, but I didn’t think that you, as the control, would be the one who I fell for. And who fell for me.”

Silence fell over the two of you, though you remained there, hands clasped together and eyes meeting with a clarity that speech could never capture. But you tried anyway. “Okay.”

“Just okay?” Mina questioned.

You smiled weakly as a response, “Yeah. Um... how about we go on another date to talk? After you finish interrogating everyone else?”

Mina let go of your hands and let you stand up, but you could feel her smiling at your back as you closed the closet door behind you. Like a repetition of when you thought that you’d be induced into loving her, your heart beat in your throat as you leaned against the wood. 

But when you knew it was real, when you knew that it wasn’t magic seizing you by the hand and pulling you into the unknown, you smiled. Because it felt... right.

[flooffybits]

Gone Home

Idol: Kim Yoohyeon (Dreamcatcher), Jung Jinsoul (Loona)

When memories of the past come to haunt you, your emotions at the present make sure to keep you anchored, along with the promise of new memories.

A/n: i know i said i was prioritizing some stuff but i just could not help it with these two, they’re too adorable

ps: this is a YoohSoul centered continuation of What Could Have Been

☕buy me a coffee☕

I just wanna be the one

But to you we're already done

Resting your head on your desk with your arms folded under it, the words silently echo in your head as the woman singing it continues to fill each word with her own emotions, and you can't help but feel a little upset the more you listen.

Too much darkness for a rainbow

I feel so used

How am I supposed to live without you? I refuse

Was this really how she felt? Was it just her own emotions or was Jennie in on this, too?

You're so deep in thought that you don't notice the two pairs of eyes peeking at you from your door.

"Should we ask her about it?" Jinsoul asks softly, fingers clenching and unclenching when she sees your slumped up figure, but Yoohyeon shakes her head. "I don't want her to feel like we're pressuring her into talking to us." She whispers, brows pinching together in worry before she gestured for them to head to your living room.

Currently, the majority of your members are out except for Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Mina. The three were busy doing their own things in the dorm, yet they were quite welcoming of your two girlfriends, minus the second youngest - who you had to plead with in not telling the two eldest.

“You two look like kicked puppies.”

Yoohyeon looked up after being addressed and wasn't too surprised to see Chaeyoung standing there with a blank look written across her face. Though after the quick glance to your room, it isn’t too surprising to see her frown begin to form.

“What did you do?”

Jinsoul’s back straightens and she’s a bit alert by the possible growing hostility of your younger member. “W-We’re actually trying to figure out what’s wrong with Y/n.” She immediately says, though not fully convincing Chaeyoung but she decides to humor the two as she crosses her arms and leans against the wall.

“What’s wrong with unnie?” Yoohyeon let out a sigh. It was one thing that she was nervous about talking to her senior, but it was also another thing that she was talking to your members. But she reminds herself that this is part of your relationship and that she shouldn’t be afraid, no matter how much the shorter woman was scaring her.

“She’s been a bit down whenever she hears Rosé sunbaenim’s song. I’m not sure if she’s like that with other songs, but whenever she hears a certain song, her mood changes.” Hearing the name of her old friend and your ex caused the rapper to pause before she had to take another look at your girlfriends.

She’s a little confused when she sees that the pair was genuinely lost, so she asks the first question that pops in her head. “Wait, you don’t know who unnie’s exes are?”

Both Jinsoul and Yoohyeon shake their heads in reply, looking up to see the younger girl’s surprised expression before she took a seat to properly look at the pair, just so she’s sure they aren’t lying. “Y/n has never told us who they are, just that things didn’t work out.”

Chaeyoung sat quietly for a few moments, silently pondering on what to say. She’s been wary of the pair when it came to pursuing you with a relationship, but she believed that they did have good intentions. And seeing how neither of them knew about the entirety of your past relationship, she had to take a different stance towards them.

However, just as Chaeyoung was able to gather her thoughts, another one of your members cut in on the conversation.

“We may not be in the position to tell you about it or what you should do in the relationship, but I hope you guys can be a little patient with Y/n.” Mina’s soft voice greeted and everyone looked to find the girl walking over. “Her last relationship was a little too fast for her to fully grasp. So I want the both of you to know that rushing her into this relationship isn’t the ideal path you should be taking.” Chaeyoung let out a huff as she sank further in her seat.

“Why didn’t you ask her who she dated before?”

Jinsoul cocked her head to the side, her eyebrows pulling into their signature look as she pouted. “We didn’t want to remind her about it and we didn’t think it mattered who she dated before. It was obvious that bringing them up would make her uncomfortable though, so we didn’t want to remind her of bad memories.” She explained, earning a small smile from the resident penguin. “Whenever Y/n decides that she wants to open up about it, we’ll listen. But if not, then we can accept that, too. We just want to make her feel better.”

“I’m certain you will.”

Chaeyoung glanced at the brunette with a small pout on her lips. “How are you guys so calm about this?” She questioned and the older woman chuckled before patting her head. “Well, you have to admit that Y/n has been a bit happier ever since Yoohyeon-ssi and Jinsoul-ssi started hanging out with her.” Mina says while shooting the pair a kind smile, one they reciprocated. “I would rather see her smiling again than locking herself up in her room.”

And as much as she would want to say no, Chaeyoung had to agree. You being with Jinsoul and Yoohyeon has been the happiest she’s seen you ever since the messy breakup with their two old friends, and she had to admit that she had missed this side of you.

“We understand that not all of you are too excited with the idea of Y/n dating again, more so with two people, but we’ll do our best, we promise.” Jinsoul nods in agreement to her girlfriend and Chaeyoung’s shoulders slowly grew less tense when Mina gave it a small pat. “I guess. But with how unnie has been acting…”

Chaeyoung shares a look with the ballerina, who gives her a light shrug. “I think, while we do appreciate you not pushing her, it’s best for you to know at least where her insecurities are coming from.” She sighed out. “It might be shocking for you, but Blackpink is a sensitive topic for her.”

The two sit there, looking a bit confused before Yoohyeon’s eyes slowly widen when she glances at your room, only to see you already standing there with a hesitant look on your face that makes her quickly stand up.

“I really hoped that you didn’t have to find out.” You mutter and your members look worried but you smile at them to show that you weren’t angry before facing your girlfriends. “Can we talk inside?” You ask and Jinsoul follows quickly, bowing to the other two as you enter your room for a much needed talk while Yoohyeon pauses before bowing as well. "Thank you." She tells them before rushing after you and Jinsoul.

“We weren’t prying, I swear. We were just worried about you and-”

You cut Yoohyeon’s rambling off with a soft kiss to her lips, one hand cupping her jaw as she eases herself into your warmth when she closes her eyes and Jinsoul pouts from the side. “Really feeling the love.” She grumbles, causing you to pull away with a giggle before you had pulled your other girlfriend to give her a kiss that she happily accepted, arms resting comfortably on your sides before she nestled her head against your neck.

“I’m not upset, so don’t worry.” Yoohyeon visibly relaxed at your words, though it doesn’t wipe her worries away when she tucks your hair behind your ear. “We were a little worried about you, but we weren’t expecting Chaeyoung to suddenly talk to us.” She explains quietly and you nod your head in understanding.

“She was one of those who were most upset about the breakup.” You inform them and Jinsoul’s arms tighten around your waist. You look at your two girlfriends before sucking in a deep breath and then letting it out, resting your cheek atop Jinsoul’s head before speaking.

“Nayeon unnie was friends with Jennie, then Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were actually close with Rosé. After the breakup, things have been… tense.” You mutter and Yoohyeon purses her lips when she now realizes why you were so affected by the song.

“You dated them…” Just then, Jinsoul tore herself away from you, eyes wide when she remembered the day you finally gave them the chance to go out with them. “Wait, back then at the cafe, when I told you I met Jennie sunbae, you didn’t say anything.” She said with a frown and you offered her a small smile. “You looked so excited, and I didn’t want either of you to think any differently of either of them.” You explain and Yoohyeon frowned as she took your hand, lacing her fingers with yours before she pressed her lips against your knuckles.

“Y/n, you don’t have to keep defending them.” She says it so softly, so carefully that it causes you to pause and reanalyze her words.

Were you really defending them still? Even after all that’s happened?

“We understand that it’s hard and that there are still scars that need healing, but you also have to understand that you don’t owe anyone anything.” Jinsoul spoke up this time when you all took your seats inside the room. “Maybe you’re used to always defending them, but you don’t have to keep doing that anymore. You have to learn that it’s unhealthy if you always put everyone else before yourself.”

They took your silence as a sign to continue and Yoohyeon reached for your hand. “After hearing the song… how do you feel?”

Of course they had no doubts about what you felt, but there were worries that maybe your past was still holding you back from actually being happy despite the fact that you had accepted that it was all finally over and done with. Emotional scars healed far longer than any other wounds.

“I…” You purse your lips together while staring at the ground and Jinsoul placed her hand on the small of your back, drawing random patterns in a way she knew helped calm you down whenever you’d gotten stressed. “It made me feel like she was trying to apologize.” You finally utter out, still unable to look at the two.

“Why is that?” Jinsoul asked softly and the lyrics of the songs ring in your head again as though you’d memorized every single word. “She was saying the things that our relationship began to lack. It feels like she was saying that she’s acknowledged just how bad it all went, not just for me.”

“It feels bittersweet, if I’m being honest. It took seeing me being able to stand on my own and showing them that I’m no longer dependent of them to understand that being with them only ended up hurting me, but at the same time, it feels like we’ve both finally accepted the fact that we’re not the same as we used to and that we’ve moved on from that.” Yoohyeon listens intently to your words while Jinsoul pressed her face against the side of your neck.

While they know they shouldn't be worried, the way you spoke was a bit worrisome for them because of certain what if scenarios.

But they knew better.

As you finally explained to them the entirety of your story with Chaeyoung and Jennie, it made so much more sense why your members were so protective and why Chaeyoung and your older members were very much opposed to the idea of you being with the two of them.

"Oh, baby." Jinsoul pulled you into her arms and ran her fingers gently through your hair in a comforting manner as you laid your head against her chest. "You could have told us that from the start, we would have understood." She tells you in a soft voice while Yoohyeon stared at you, lips pressed together in a thin line since she isn't quite sure what to say that would make you feel better.

She wasn't the best at comforting people, no matter how bad she wanted to. So for now, she lets your other girlfriend take the lead as she presses kisses to your temple while rocking you side to side.

"I just didn't want you guys to feel intimidated or anything. You respect them and their group a lot. I was afraid that maybe it would change how you view them."

Something inside Yoohyeon suddenly broke at your words while Jinsoul cuddled you. Without thinking, her hand had reached your cheek and carefully turned your face so you were looking directly into her eyes before she pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead.

"I don't want you to feel scared about anyone or anything." She breathed out when she pulled back and Jinsoul looked just as surprised by the taller woman's actions. "What you went through with them isn't any of our business. Sure, it might be a bit awkward, but the only one that matters is you because we're here for you, not them."

Her words are gentle, yet firm, and you keep quiet as her thumb ran over the skin of your cheek.

"I used to admire you so much as an idol, but getting to really know you only amplified that admiration, and I know I can never really properly express how I feel, but I can say with my whole heart that I am in love with you and I'll do whatever I can to make sure you never feel that same pain ever again."

Jinsoul smiles quietly, pressing her cheek against your hair and nuzzling you. "It's a bit early, but I wasn't expecting Yoohyeon to beat me to it." She chuckled, gaining both your attention as you turned to face her. "To be honest, I was doubtful about being in this relationship, but Yooh didn't even try convincing me. Getting to know you fully was more than enough reason for my heart find its way to you, too." She explained while tucking your hair behind your ear.

"You probably wondered at some point 'what's so special about me' or thought 'I'm a difficult person to love' but that's not true. you just weren't ready." She added as Yoohyeon soon joined you on the bed, wrapping her arms around both of you. "You just need a little push and assurance, and there's nothing wrong with that. You still deserve to love and to be loved."

Jinsoul kisses your temple when she notices the tears building up in your eyes and Yoohyeon takes your hand back in her own, caressing your knuckles. "It's a long road, but we're only going through it with you, never without."

Somehow, your throat didn't feel so tight. It didn't feel like you were being strangled anymore and you could finally breathe properly, even as they held you. In fact, it made you feel lighter and it didn't take long for tears to finally come spilling down your cheeks.

Your girlfriends let you cry as much as you need and neither of them speak, knowing that it was what you needed because even when your members were there for you, there was only so much they could do to help relieve you from the torment you were going through. They loved you like a real sister, but the love Yoohyeon and Jinsoul held for you was much more and in that moment, you could actually feel and believe that you really were getting better.

It looked like taking the risk really was worth it in the end.

"Hey."

You look behind you when you were headed back to meet your members inside Inkigayo's waiting and blink in surprise when you see two familiar faces looking at you with shy smiles in their expressions.

It had been a while since you've had overlapping schedules so this was definitely a surprise.

"Hi, you guys did great out there." You compliment and the pair grin. "You guys weren't so bad, either. The new concept is killer." The shorter of the pair replied and you chuckle before shrugging your shoulders. "Well, we've learned to take a step out of our comfort zones."

There's a small pause and none of you know what to say, so the Australian decides to break the silence instead. "I know that it's a little bit late, Y/n, but I hope you know that I'm really sorry… about what happened."

Your eyes softened as you looked at Chaeyoung and you shook your head while offering them a kind smile. "It's okay - all in the past now." You assure her. "It's a stretch, but I hope we can at least be friends again?" It's Jennie that speaks this time and your laughter fills the air as you waved a hand. "Of course! I honestly hoped my members didn't have to let what happened between us ruin your friendship, but it's a step."

"It was our fault, so don't worry. We'll fix it." Jennie promises and you smile more while nodding again. "Nayeon unnie and Chaeyoung might still be a little rough around the edges, but don't worry, I'll deal with them."

The awkward air seemed to have lifted as the three of you giggled and smiled at each other. However, your time had to be cut short when you remembered that you couldn't be gone too long, so you shoot your exes a friendly smile. "As much as I'd love to keep talking, I need to head back."

When you nod in the direction of your waiting room, both Blackpink members nod in understanding when they see two pairs of eyes peeking with tiny smiles on their faces. Chaeyoung and Jennie smile back, waving at them before moving aside to let you pass. "Well, I hope you guys have fun." Jennie tells you with her signature gummy smile and you shoot them another grin while nodding your head. "You, too."

Watching as you walked away, it wasn't as painful as the day you had broken up with them. As a matter of fact, the pair felt a bit better as they saw you happily run into Yoohyeon and Jinsoul’s waiting arms with the same bright smile you would wear when you were with them in the earlier stages of your relationship.

Jennie took Chaeyoung's hand in hers and gave it a tiny squeeze. "Ready to go?"

The taller one of the two nodded, lacing their fingers together as they headed for the other direction where the rest of their group was. "Let's go."

[3mixs]

omg i read ur rules after i sent the ask abt chaeyoung, so that was my bad, but im glad u turned it around!!

i LOVE the idea abt jihyo's potential friend, esp when u mentioned sejeong!! i think jihyo and sejeong are very similar, so i can totally imagine sejeong as another hybrid (probably a kitten too), and the only reason jihyo likes her unlike how she was wary of nayeon and outright dislikes momo is bc sejeong kept trying to be her friend and eventually jihyo just gave in and found she liked her! a bit of a reverse of how they actually became friends (with jihyo hitting on starting convos with sejeong but thats what aus are for right?)

and sejeong would 100% take jihyo's side. and they meet up at their secret meeting spot and jihyo is just complaining and complaining and obviously sejeong is gonna agree with her cause she doesnt know any better LMAO, she jumps on the momo hate train REAL QUICK

but what if one day she finally meets momo and shes just like. jihyo. ur so dumb. she literally just wants to be your friend. and i can imagine poor momo :( who is probably so insecure abt her place and might be afraid that bc jihyo doesnt like her (and they've had jihyo longer) they might like momo less or get rid or her or smth :((

and meanwhile 2yeon is just like: jihyo will come around...eventually......right........

they're too busy being in love to deal with this rn hehe

but yeah! i really like this au!! and ty for letting me give my input, ill claim an emoji if thats ok?? i sent the previous two asks u answered abt this au (the one asking for more and the jihyo having a friend one) so u can keep track of it if u want

but yeah this is so cool and also sorry for talking so much 😭😭 i really love hybrid aus

-🐻 (if thats not taken and if its ok!!)

absolutely no worries! i only updated my rules yesterday so really there was no way you would’ve known if you had looked before then!

i freaking adore sejeong and i’ve always wanted to try writing her! every time i think of her and jihyo all i can think of is the whole ‘twin flame’ trope- i mean sejeong did call jihyo her “soulmate” at one point... so as you can tell i’m a sehyo enthusiast! 

but hybrid kitten!sehyo just takes the dramatics and the cuteness to another level! i love love LOVE the reversal of their meeting. i can imagine sejeong just popping up everyday for a week straight asking jihyo to hang out and be friends. no matter how many times jihyo would roll her eyes and say she doesn’t need a friend because she already has jeongyeon, sejeong would just roll her eyes right back leave with a “see you tomorrow pabo (idiot)!” eventually jihyo rationalized hanging out with sejeong by telling herself it’s okay to have two friends if one of them is also a kitten like her so jeongyeon won’t get jealous. 

sejeong would absolutely take jihyo’s side! i imagine that sejeong mostly comes around when her owner + jeongyeon aren’t home (and the few times she has met jeongyeon all jeong does is joke about how they’re ‘the same kitten just copy and pasted’). so sejeong probably knows deep deep down jihyo is just being overdramatic about the whole situation - but she’s never really hung out while 2yeon are at home and she’s never met momo so as far as she’s concerned jihyo is 100% justified in everything. she’d be fuming too if her owner moved in her girlfriend without asking and then brought home a new puppy on a whim.

but because she is on the outside, she is much more reasonable about the situation when it finally comes to meeting momo. i would imagine she’d come over one afternoon while her owner is out shopping or something and expects to see jihyo on her usual chair basking in the sun but instead she finds momo sitting alone in the living room pouting. since momo arguably has one of the most irresistible pouts of all time, sejeong can’t help but talk to her (even though she was going to ignore her out of solidarity with jihyo). poor momo should be on top of the world right now, she just got a new home and a new family. when 2yeon are home she can at least hang out with them but when they’re gone and she’s left alone with jihyo she’s reminded of how lonely she was before coming home with them. 

puppy!momo lives with her heart on her sleeve, her ears always giving away her emotions no matter how well she tries to hide them with her words. so when sejeong asks what’s wrong momo just pouts and says ‘jihyo’s ignoring her again so she’s waiting out here until nayeon comes home’ and bursts into tears because she hasn’t really had anyone to talk to about any of this. she’s too scared to bring it up to 2yeon in case they realize bringing momo home was a mistake and they take her back in order to keep jihyo happy. she can’t exactly talk to jihyo about it without getting the cold shoulder. plus she doesn’t know anyone else in the area so she’s just been keeping everything to herself. sejeong right then and there decides she likes momo and doesn’t want to see her sad again. so she gives momo a hug and listens to all her worries and insecurities. before she leaves she promises they’ll hang out together soon, but first she’s got to deal with jihyo. 

the next time the kittens meet up at their spot, the first thing sejeong does is hit her on the arm and calls her an idiot. she ignores all of jihyo’s pouts and protests, she’s heard them before. she’s determined to get jihyo to like momo so all three of them can be friends. they’re all hybrids so they might as well get along. plus, it would be more fun to have someone else play around with them.  maybe she hatches a plan to force the three of them to hang out together or something along those lines??

as for 2yeon, they know jihyo is a slow burn and once she opens up to momo she’ll like her (even if she won’t admit it). she didn’t like nayeon and first but now she does... well they think she does. she doesn’t really say it. or ever show it. but sometimes she seems like she might, so that’s what counts! in the mean time, they’re just loving life and definitely in a little honeymoon phase now that they’ve taken that next step in their relationship. until one of the hybrids runs away or draws blood, they don’t need to step in. just positive vibes and fingers crossed!

and that’s totally okay!! i’m so excited to have people becoming regular emoji anons! like i really can’t express to you how happy i am that you’re even taking the time to read any of this and interact with me! i wasn’t really sure how well any of my hcs would come off because i think their good ideas but i couldn’t tell if anyone else would think so too. if i could hug you through the screen i would! so seriously thank you so much for interacting and adding to this au, it’s given me so much inspiration and fun!!