#no I'm aromantic actually

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

[jupiter--dream]

yeag

[cosmicredcadet]

I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.

The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.

[theacecouple]

For the first time in history, we are pleased to announce that the state of Kansas is formally recognizing Ace Week!!!

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[thenerdrant]

I think the fact that I am aroace and Im a punk and I do ballet is just another testament to how my life is truly a sitcom

[cowboylikeghost]

"i support aroace people!" "aroace people are queer!" How would you react if i told you that i'm aroace but non-partnering, even qpr are a big no, answer quickly.

[midnightfrappe]

i've been pondering lately,,

[tepli-mravenci]

aromanticism will have you saying "What if I'm not aromatic? Maybe I'm just...still too young to get crushes." when people your age are literally getting married around you

[fizpup]

valentine, you're a horse ❤️

[nyaacatboy]

i'm having thoughts about amatonormativity and why it sucks and they're long-winded and hard to properly express bc it's late at night but i wanted to share them so i summarized them with a meme

this realization brought to you by the realization that a lot of people who say acephobic shit without actively denying asexuality exists just mentally swapped "virgin" for "asexual" and carried on with their lives. this best evidenced by people being "accepting" of asexual women but ignoring/erasing asexual men.

[aro-and-ace-memes-thoughts]

It's kinda sad people accept more when I say "I'm not interested in dating" than "I'm aroace" (or similar). They assume the first one is temporary, they can't accept I'm not like them and not liking someone ever doesn't mean something's wrong with me

[timeladix]

Friends with benefits but the benefit is giving each other societally unacceptable long hugs and generally being more touchy while literally being friends and not actually a couple

[cosmicredcadet]

"This fandom is so queer friendly!" This fandom literally hates, bisexual, trans, nonbinary, and aspec people but ok.

[sonseulsoleil]

my hot take about Charles' sexuality is that he is somewhere on the aromantic spectrum--perhaps demiromantic--but allosexual (bisexual) and so he doesn't realize it.

he recognizes his (sexual) attraction to girls/women and reads it romantically, because well. he's from the 80s. he doesn't have the split attraction model. he thinks Crystal is "fit" so he must want to date her--and eventually his feelings for her do become more than just thinking she's hot.

but on the flipside, it's much easier for him to write off his attraction to men because sure, he'll recognize when a guy is attractive, but that doesn't mean he wants to date the guy. there's no romantic interest there. it's an objective thing. objectively, Edwin has a nice sharp jawline, and pretty green eyes.

and sure, he loves Edwin more than he's ever loved anyone, but that's platonic. right? and sure, he's not sure he's ever been in love, or what that even means, but he knows he's liked girls. and he's never really examined that, never had a reason to.

until Edwin confesses. until he realizes just how blurred the lines between platonic and romantic really are.

[knifearo]

i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once