#no I haven't been working on this for a week and a half

[fashionteahouse]

out of your league - paul x reader

AN: Seventeen entire parts have been loved and supported and i cant thank you all enough ! hugs and kisses

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It wasn't annoying. It was in fact was soothing. The soft snore in your ear lets you know he was getting some type of sleep. One hand was under his head as he faced you. His face is very close to the side of your face.

You haven't made the effort or plans to move out of the bed. Tomorrow, you would have to leave him.

An entire week.

You remember the last time you haven't been around him for that long. Thinking back, you didn't know how you survived since it was way longer than a week.

A soft poke in your cheek startled you a bit, Paul's wide awake eyes looking back at you. You sigh.

"Sleeeep." you tell him with seriousness.

He just comfortably looks at you. Simply, defying you.

You look at him back.

"Sam gave me off today." Paul says quietly, still staring at you.

A small grin forms your face. "Good. You have all day to get some rest." you tell him.

"Except, I'm not." He says.

You shake your head in amusement at him. Nothing was said for a moment. You both basked in each other's presence. Your eyes were very curious as you paid attention to Paul. You paid attention to the blanket that barely covered his naked body.

You look away from the sight but a hand snatches your chin back to the sight. His once flaccid body part that was laying over was now sticking straight up. His hand takes yours and place it around it, making you stroke as he gives an encouraging groan.

You sit up straighter. At the same time, you both licked your lips.

"We just did it until the sun came up." you whisper to him, his intense hungry gaze made you nervous.

He sits up a bit straighter, displaying a wicked smile that made your stomach do backflips. Placing a sensual peck on your lips he makes a devilish suggestion, "Do you want me to do all of the work?"

Words were caught in your throat as the velvety sound of his voice and his predatory eyes wrapped you tight. He leans up to steal another kiss, but you soon find yourself already under him due to his hands rearranging your position.

Both of your hands were soon gripping the sheet under you as you looked down at the sight. You made heavy breathy noises as you felt like you were losing your mind. He hasn't been lapping at you long and your legs were already quivering.

You have one hand that gripped a handful of his hair as you push him back a bit, the feeling was intense. He did nothing but scoot you closer, making your head flop backwards, back down on the bed as your knees were now separated by your head. He dove right in with his mouth, sucking and licking your soul away. He wasn’t shy with making noises. You both were soon synchronizing noises as he felt good that you felt good.

Your body wouldn't stop moving on it own as you had trouble focusing on reality. Paul made it no better, as he felt all over you still with his hands while you were high with euphoria, making you moan just with his touches, you were sensitive. You crawl away and lay on the bed as you clenched your legs together with a case of the trembles, not wanting him to touch what was between there. It was overworked.

Your face was scrunched and a few stray tears came out of your eyes. You pant as you try to catch your breath. You push Paul's greedy hands away as you turn from him. Silently sobbing a bit. You soon found yourself being dragged by your ankles to the end of the bed. He stood over you as he made half of your lower body be hung off of the bed. He kept your knees by your head. The thrusts were slow, you felt every inch as your body clung onto him. You hissed as he kept pulling himself out completely before slowly sliding back into you.

He then leaned forward, making you clutch and claw at him as he rolled his hips sensually.

"You're mine right?" he whispers as you heard the wetness of yourself be heard as he slid back into you.

"Mhm." you say, hoping its coherent for him to understand. He now had your legs over his shoulders.

"Say it." he whispers as he slowly pulled himself out again. Your body instantly missed him and was screaming for him to come back.

"I'm yours. You're mine." you say breathy but prettily before a groan is followed up. Paul picked his pace up, making you lose your breath.

A plate was slid towards you as you blushed. Paul leaned to place a kiss near your ear as you looked at the breakfast he made you.

He sits near you as you both dig in. Halfway of your plate being empty, you look up with your cheeks full, to Paul's quiet snickering as he's looking at you.

Swallowing, you ask him, "What?"

"Worked up an appetite, huh?" he teasingly asks and you roll your eyes as this only makes him laugh. You couldn't help but look down and crack a small smile of your own.

He rises to take his empty plate and takes it into the kitchen. You rise as you are finished, meeting him in the kitchen. He takes your plate and before you know it, you’re almost the same height as him. Underneath your legs, you feel the cold counter surface.

Paul steps in between you and gives you a sensual opened mouth kiss. You press his chest back subtly with a couple of your fingers. His mouth sloppily moves to your ear and to the side of your neck. You try to jump off of the counter but when you moved forward, his bulge just hits your direct sex. He fully takes advantage of your limited clothing, the only thing that you had on was your underwear and a cotton t shirt.

You make a surprised sigh as you realize your breasts were displayed before him, his hands had scrunched your shirt up to show you off.

“Paul.” you say only to gain his attention, but he thinks its motivation as his face is now pressed onto your soft tissue that lay upon your chest.

Two large hands support your back as your body arches to him.

You’re not on the counter anymore. You’re in his arms, pouring back into the kiss he was giving you while he adjusts his naked self into your opening.

You squeeze your eyes shut as he stands and thrusts up in you. Your hips don’t know which way to move as your insides are being scraped all around. The flame of pleasure builded up as you whisper his name and oh my god’s. This didn’t slow him down. He was so strong as he manually made your body meet with his. His grunts got heavier as he made your body move in ways you never thought would come from you.

He turns and lays you on your side on the table. You look at him and he leans captures your mouth with a tongue filled kiss. The side of your body moved up and down as your mouth hang open. Paul rocked forward into you and your breaths were hitched. Your hand then grabs onto the arm that belonged to the hand that rested and gripped the skin on the side of your hip as you both shook as both climaxes were reached.

You look at him as you feel cozy. You both were under the blanket, facing each other with nude bodies pressed together. It was intimate as the silence surrounded both of you. You didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to move.

A slow drunk smile stretched across your face, softly with low energy you break the silence, “I didn’t even pack yet.”

Paul blinks and hums out a response.

That’s when his eyelids started to droop. You stay still so he could lose the battle of going to sleep but his body jerks lightly as he blinks his eyes open. His eyes focused back onto yours. You huff out an annoyed but very soft sigh, “Why won’t you sleep?” you question him.

He hums an I don’t know noise.

You move your body a bit as you humorously tell him in a low voice, “You know.”

He then closed his eyes, mushing himself even more against you and he gets comfortable. He breaths out a sigh before speaking, “I know you better answer me when you go.”

“Look at you, being bossy.” you say as a small laugh shake you both.

“It’s going to be hell. An entire week of hell.” he says.

“It’s not. I’m not being drafted for war.” you say as you look about.

“It feels like it.” he says low to the point where you felt lucky that you were able to catch what he said.

“I could’ve made you something before I left. To remember me by.” you say.

“I’d rather remember what you feel like.” he says his hands demonstrating his claim.

Your eyes flutter closed a bit before seeing a dark and lustful look on his face. You scoot back a bit but his body weight is heavy.

Swiping a strong stroke with his fingers on your sensitive center, you groan and squeeze your eyes shut.

“Please, Paul.” you whisper to him as you shake your head a bit.

He does nothing but drag your body over him. Your body clutches to him as you pull out of his sloppy kiss and sit up. A hand immediately cups your boob. Hissing at the sensation, you gently climb off of him.

“Just one more.” he says quietly as he pulls on your arm and placed his lips close under your eye.

“I would like to still know how to walk.” you say to him but this makes him darkly chuckle.

“Okay fine. Let’s cuddle.” he says and you scoot back over to him.

You turn over, he’s hard pressed against you but it’s nice and intimate. His flutters of breath tickle across your cheek as he lay close.

Your eyes fall close, feeling a wave of total relaxation. You started to drift but couldn’t go into the wonders of dreamland as you felt something wet and ticklish in your ear. Something ticklish was brushing against your hip and as you look down to see the head of stiff flesh staring right back at you. Your eyes squeeze shut as your breath turn shaky as you kept feeling the moist tongue trace the outline and anatomy of your ear. The grunts and groans that were made just for you, it made you open your mouth. It was as if you two rehearsed it, you both were matching each other’s tone, his fingers pressed and caressing your sensitive pearl.

Feeling familiar hardness grind against that same sensitive spot , made you drool as he made a way to keep his fingers there and rhythmic pleasure waved throughout your body.

Your eyes were closed as your chest was rising up and down, calming down from your intense orgasm. He didn’t even stick it in and you fell apart this hard.

You feel covers being slid off of your naked body as you pop your eyes open. A very naked Paul has the covers in his hands as he stares at you.

“Come with me.” he says as he drops one of his hands and thrusts it forward to you. You tiredly take it as he effortlessly pulls you off of the bed, the front of your body is held and pressed to him as he carried you the entire way into the water of the shower.

He lets you slowly slide down, your breasts slides down on his chest as he let you down to your wobbly legs. He grabs a bit of soap and lathers a small amount, smoothing over your chest. You held your lips in as you squinted, he enjoyed the view very much. He nipped and pulled at your nipples with his fingers and your body agreed with his touches. He caressed the front of you as he took his time to really cup and grope you.

You copy him, but only to stroke him The soap acted as lube. You use two hands. His fingers travel to the sides of your face. He cradled your cheeks as you sensually pump all of him. His tongue circled yours as you use one hand to stroke the two balls of flesh that were between him. You felt as he buck his hips to what you were doing to him. You didn’t care that the kisses were sloppy and Paul definitely didn’t.

You grabbed a towel as you both were finally managed to get clean. Paul leaves the bathroom still naked before you could fully wrap your towel around your body. You move into the bedroom to find him still stiff and ready to go as he lay up on his back. He glances over to you as soon as you could process the room.

He soon has your towel on the ground as you cross your arms at the coldness in the air. He manhandles you a bit, keeping you to his lips, as he’s now acting needy for physical affection.

You were very sensitive to the touch, you started to whine a bit as he lifted you right back into bed with him.

“I will sleep. Just ride me, baby.” he says in between kisses, the urgency didn’t turn you off as you catch wind of his heated eyes.

The muscles between your legs were sore, you sink down slowly. With Paul so eager, he takes over and you’re pressed back on top of him. Paul didn’t notice the tiny breaks of skin that formed on his arms from your fingernails. His mind was too far gone and too mushed to even understand. Both of your insides licked one another as cries for each other reached an all time peak.

You tiredly fall away from him with a flop on the bed. Laying on your stomach, you head is faced away from him as you still feel his touches.

You felt yourself drift off to sleep.

To your surprise, when you woke up, the sky was dark, making the room dark. A hard body was smushed to you, you couldn’t turn your head due to this. You did hear the faint and soft sound of Paul snoring. You listened and you could tell that the sleep he was getting was much needed.

You let your eyelids close again. His breathing and soft snoring let you know he wasn’t waking up any time soon.

“Good.” you thought to yourself and drifted off.

You woke with a shake this time. You blink your eyes open to the light that was turned on.

You rise up quickly and look to Paul.

“What time is it?” you ask in worried state. He’s not worried. He tells you it’s only very late into the night. The covers fall from your body as you slump with sigh of relief.

Paul reached over and pull the nape of your neck to him and you pull back to where you’re looking at him slowly open his eyes back up.

“I still have to pack.” you say and try to move but he holds you at bay.

”Look.” he says softly and jet his eyes to get you to look.

A full suitcase. You look to him as he moved closer and you place two hands on his shoulders. You rise out of bed and he watched you the entire way.

You don’t even notice your naked body at the moment as you take set the suitcase on a space on the bed as you take a peak.

There wasn’t anything that you could think of or comment on, for things that you were missing. He knew what you would’ve brought. You chuckle a bit as you saw the clothes that he packed weren’t even ugly outfits. You look at him with a twinkle in your eye.

“One day you’ll trust me.” Paul plainly comments with two arms behind his head as he watched you.

“One day you’ll be my stylist.” you joke.

He does nothing but wet his lips a bit as he lets it known he’s staring at your body, “You’d wear nothing.”

He's looking down at you with his bottom lip inward as both of your ankles are held up by only one of his hand.

Your entire body feels hot as his hips roll forward to reach all of you. Your body shakes as well as your voice. You felt achy but, he was making new places feel achy. Your ankles are now over his shoulders as he reaches new heights with you.

You both catch your breath as your body is shake your head slightly, you felt like you couldn’t move.

“How? How can you do it?” you asked in a whisper as he glanced over at you with a soft sigh, “It’s your fault.”

You nudge him while laying in your lazy spot, “My fault?”

“You’re the one who’s making me so fucking horny.” he says as he closed his eyes and pulled you close.

You lay close to him as an idea pops in your head.

“We should eat before I have to leave.” you suggest.

He kept touching you while you were trying to cook breakfast food. It was now near dawn and your time was ticking down.

He wouldn’t let you sit in your own seat. You were seated in his lap as he ate with one hand. He looked at you more than the food he put in his mouth.

You dressed slowly as he watched you. Each article of clothing that was placed on your body, his face got sadder and sadder. Fully dressed down to socks you step in between his legs as you cup his cheeks.

“I will just cancel. Screw them.” you say as he closed his eyes and still managed to pull out a small smile. He rubbed down your back with his hands as he says, “Don’t do that.”

“I will. I hate leaving you like this.” you say to him and reach to press your lips on different spots of his face.

“Come on, I don’t want you to miss your flight.” he says and his voice was thick.

You kept a hand in his as he drove. He was the one who kept conversation flowing in the car. He didn’t let silence fill the air. You were thankful for this.

The drive to the airport seemed short. As if there was not enough time. You slowly got out of the car as he gave you your suitcase.

Both of your arms wrapped tight around him and you felt tightness. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. You shuddered and felt your face get hot before he rubs your back, “Please don’t do this to me now. You’re making me feel fucked up.” he says with a chuckle.

You brush your eyes with one swipe as you join his chuckle, “I’m sorry. I’m really going to miss you.”

He dropped his head to place a lengthy kiss on your lips. Making out against the car, you held each other close.

He’s the one who pulls back, he takes a glance at your face as he doesn’t know how to feel. You feel empty as your hand is on your suitcase.

He stares back at you. He looked like he wanted to say something but he chose not to. He didn’t know if it was the right time or not. He watches you take a hand in your pocket, you give him a folded piece of paper.

“Don’t read it until you get home, okay?” you ask him. He nods. You take him in with your eyes.

“Go, Y/N. You’re going to miss your flight. Call me as soon, and I mean as soon as you land.” he says and you nod and your head is back on his warm chest.

You hated that you slept as much as you did today. You were wide awake. You envied the couples that got to excitedly chat about the new experiences they were going to have with each other. You sigh as you check your phone, something you haven’t done at all.

Bella left you two messages. Two different times.

“Hey i’m working on my scrapbook today do you want to come over?”

“I don’t know when you’re leaving but be safe!”

You type back.

“Sorry. I’m just now seeing this :/ i’m at the airport now :) thank you”

You press send.

You decide to text Paul.

“I miss you already 😞”

You watch as he is typing something back to you.

“I miss you more”

You kept rereading it.

You click in your seatbelt as the pilot announces where the flight is going. You’re glad your seat is a window seat. You were glad that you bought the cd player. You got comfortable as music drifted into your ears.

You found a small piece of charcoal in your jacket pocket and doodled for some time. Time passed and you didn’t realize that the entire cd was over and you heard the muffled sounds of your surroundings.

You rip out and over fold the picture that you created in your sketchbook and stuff it in your jacket pocket. The plane lands and you move through the airport.

As you talk to Paul, your face morphs into sadness.

“Soak in everything.” he says to you on the line.

“I will. I can’t wait to come back home already.” you say with somber. Saying your goodbyes, you type to John that you’ve arrived. Almost immediately, he sends you a location for later on to meet him at.

You agree and come out of the airport with your suitcase wheeling behind you. You don’t even process the new city air because your body freezes.

A pair of amber eyes make their debut in your eyesight.

You see a car door open as you start to frown. You see a glimpse of his sparkling teeth as he looks to the side and grins.

“We’re not spending any time together.” you say to him with your arms crossed.

“Do you have a ride?” he asks.

“I have somewhere to be.” you say and turn to walk away but a cold hand halts you.

“I can take you.” he insists calmly.

“No.” you answer dryly as you try to book a ride.

“There’s no use in spending money.” he says with a ridiculed grin.

A singular rain drop slaps you on your hand as you held your phone. You gasp and look up to the sky and see Edward with that same grin.

“Just go away. I need to focus for tonight and I’m not letting you or anyone mess it up for me.” you hiss and never taking your eyes away from him, letting him know that you’re clear. He’s not grinning anymore as he lets you finish.

“Don’t get stuck in the rain at least.” he says as his keys, that are dangling from his hand, are looking right back at you.

The light patter started to get heavier as you scowl at the sky with a huff.

"Are you cold?" he asks as the sound of windshield wipers follow after him.

"I have my jacket." you say as you stare out the window. A perfect mixture of lights and people.

You then hear and feel trickles of heat make its way onto your body, the vent in front of you blowing softly. You roll your eyes in your head.

"You don't even know what hotel I'm staying at." You state with narrowed eyes as he maneuvers his way through traffic.

"What hotel are you staying at?" he questions back as his liquid gold eyes surf the road.

You don't say anything as you realize you don't know your way around the city.

He then glanced in your direction but down, "It's fine. I know my way around."

You look to him as honks are in the background, "You read my mind this time?" you ask.

He grins and shakes his head, "No, it was just written over your face."

You look at the place he's slowing down to. You know what you came here with, this was definitely out of your reach. The architecture alone looked expensive to look at.

"Um..." you mutter as Edward gives his keys to the valet and your bag is taken through the door.

Edward speaks before you could say anything.

"I will leave you to it." he says as he stands in the hallway with you. You were outside of your door, a mobile key now in your possession.

"Not so fast. Why are you doing this?" you ask. You didn't need anyone to buy you anything.

"Alice booked your room for you. I had nothing to do with it." he says.

"You could've told me."

"Why, so you could run away?" he asks with a smirk.

You narrow your eyes at him as you close the heavy door.

After a shower, you sat with your phone in your hand and pressed on a contact name to make a phone call.

"Hello?" the high voice answers.

"Alice, I'm booking my own room." you say but she cuts you off, "No, please. It's your first time here and it has to be perfect." she says.

"Here? Wait, you're here too?" you inquire.

A knock is sharp on the door as you open it to find the petite vampire in front of your door. You're in shock as she almost knocked you over from a hug.

"So, how do you think of it so far?" she asks and you cross your arms. You look as she tried to cheer you up, "I don't want you or anybody to pay for my stay here."

"Y/N, I do anything for my friends. You will have a good time here." she says with a convincing smile and tone, she glances at the outfit that you're wearing.

"Where are you meeting him?" she asks.

You show her the location as you didn't know your way around.

"Hm. It's not too fancy." she comments as she reads the restaurant name.

You look at the time on your phone and you hear soft thud on the bed. You look to find another pair of pants that were in your suitcase, laying there.

"It would be a good idea to wear these instead." she says. You give her a look and she adds on, "You will feel comfortable. Trust me."

Sighing, you quickly change and you start to put your jacket on. She walks you out all the way to the lobby and hugs you again, "Be safe. Call me!"

You stare out the window as the driver, she also paid for, drove you to the destination. Stepping out of the car, you felt a bit nervous as you went inside.

You didn't have to wonder where John was as his table was a bit more lively than others. Tearful laughs were circling the table as you slowly walked. Wiping his eye, John sobers up and waves you over.

He shoved the man sitting next to him in the arm and point to you.

"This is Y/N." he says as if you were a huge prize. It actually made you blush and gasps went around the table.

"Oh my god. Sit down." The man, who introduces himself as Mark, turns to you. Both hands are up and he looks ahead for a second as he tells you, "I cannot believe your mind. Can I borrow it?"

This makes you relax and smile, "Take it."

"Seriously. I'm so glad you're here. How long are you going to be staying for?" he asks you with great interest.

"A week." you simply answer.

A frown is formed, "That's it?" he quickly sobers up, "Never mind. I guess its best to get things out of the way quickly."

The conversation was interesting. You both forgot about the other around the table as you both poured and splashed ideas around. You both were quite fond of one another as he was deeply into fashion. He was dying for something fresh and different and you were dying for something more challenging. His show was happening at the end of the week and he wanted to squeeze a creation by you.

"I don't know how to make clothes." you say with a laugh.

"I need you to paint a portrait of the model I'm going to use. I'm a co-editor for my friend's issue of the magazine.” he says with excitement.

As you both walk toward the exit, he gives you his personal number, telling you he will set everything up for tomorrow. He then says, "You should come with me, I'm meeting someone for a party."

The first thing you wanted to do was tell Paul everything.

"It's okay. I had a pretty long day. I flew in today." you say.

"And then what happened?" Paul asked you as he looked at you through the video call.

"He invited me out to stay out but, I'm pretty tired." you say. You see that he's not saying anything but staring, you call out to him.

"Paul?"

Not moving, he says, "Yeah?"

"What's wrong, you got quiet on me." you say with a chuckle.

"I miss you." he simply says.

"I miss you too." you say, quietly and you couldn’t believe how the simple action made you still blush.

Paul stared at the screen, he didn’t want to talk, he just wanted to look at you. Little to your knowledge, beside him, he held the corolla you gave to him some time ago. He always kept it, his fingers repeatedly traced over it as you both contently blinked at each other. You both wanted to reach out to each other through the screen.

[falsemneme]

Feyre rubbed her face again. "I don't know what to do. How to help her." "Three days in and I'm already at my wit's end," he said. (ACOSF, Ch. 11)

"Change comes slowly for us. What humans accomplish in decades takes us centuries." (ACOSF, Ch. 11)

Elain stood by the rail, the breeze caressing her hair. "She's not getting any better. She's not even trying." She wrapped her arms around herself and stared toward the distant sea. (ACOSF, Ch. 17)

"Some of [the priestesses] have been here for hundreds of years and still haven't been able to come back from what they endured. So what hope do I have?" He rubbed at his shoulder, as if it were sore. "We've been working for barely two weeks, Nesta. Physically, you might be seeing changes, but what's happening in your mind, your heart, will take far longer than that. [...]" (ACOSF, Ch. 18)

He said with soft fury, "It took me ten years before I was able to face it. What I'd done to those people, and what I'd lost. Ten years. [...] You want to take twenty years, go ahead." (ACOSF, Ch. 18)

This book makes my head spin. It seems like the timeline for everyone else to heal and process trauma is... decades, at minimum. Centuries, possibly. So if Cassian knows this—(because he IS the man who said he was at his wits end only 3 days in just to turn around a week and a half later and tell Nesta she can take 20 years if she wants)—then I do NOT understand Rhysand's original plan. How long did the IC expect Nesta to be institutionalised in the Sentient Psychiatric Hospital & Gulag exactly? 4 weeks? 30 years?? 250??? With Cassian there the entire time????

[abysskeeper]

Trick, mistake, secret and skin

This 100% did not start with me thinking Trick was one of the words

Yeah ok, my secret is that I'm always on my bullshit about Trick too. Another readmore because I uh...always always ramble hard about my girl.

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

So, the key to writing Trick in any way, shape, or form is that she is, 99.9% of the time, never comfortable in her own skin and always contending with some type of monster writhing beneath her skin. Is she confident and capable in her abilities? Yes. Willing to lead and make the tough decisions? Yes. Self-assured and secure in who she is? No, never.

Is it a contradiction in a lot of ways? Yes, but the girl's a mess of martyr complexes and insecurities. She almost always, honestly believes she is the most horrible version of herself (a coward and a monster), and though she would only call herself as such in a conversation where it's directly referenced, she never denies the accusation and does all she can with her actions to try and make up for her perceived shortcomings. In reality, the worst version of herself is the girl who gave up for a time (there's usually some point in her history where she went selectively mute and actively tried to kill herself), and in that regard, Trick often pretends that girl actually succeeded. She rarely acknowledges that time existed, ashamed as she is by it, and on the rare chance it does come up...well, the ensuing conversation isn't pretty.

As for the monsters beneath her skin, it varies by verse, but she's usually contending with some type of darkness or beast that's a thinly veiled allegory for her rage, desperation, and trauma (because I'm like that). A few examples, in no particular order:

Pack-verse: In Trick's original universe (a dystopian urban fantasy/sci-fi mashup), she's a wolf shapeshifter who was experimented on as a kid, which ultimately resulted in the line between human and beast blurring within her. Meaning, she has a tendency to go partial-to-full werewolf when deeply upset, among other differences (improved senses, heightened instincts and reflexes, etc). She's terrified of her capabilities and tries to repress herself as much as possible, which only backfires. The whole character arc there is about her coming to terms with who she is and what happened to her, and accepting that that side of her (the rage, the desperation, the trauma) is not actually a bad thing (and is actually more heightened because of her human choices, not the animalistic ones).

SWTOR: I took the Jedi Consular story and ran with it. The effects of the Force plague linger after chapter 1, even after Morrhage is defeated. I figured that lending out your soul to protect fellow Jedi against a Dark plague probably means you don't get everything back properly, even if you did everything right. She doesn't suffer from corruption so much (I actually believe she's not corruptible because she learned the shielding technique), but she's almost constantly, subconsciously using the shielding technique on herself to battle off the bit of Darkness she inherited from those she shielded. Other parts of her are missing altogether. It causes her a lot of chronic pain, but over time she learns to deal with it...until chapter 3 when she secretly starts shielding the Children and accidentally inherits some of the Emperor's power. KOTFE and KOTET are the worst time of her life, and she never knew so much relief as when the Emperor finally died in EOO.

BG3: My new project and current brainrot. Trick's issues are a little different here, as she's dealing with divinity instead of darkness (her backstory fic I'm working on is literally subtitled "You've Been Touched by Something Holy"). Instead of dealing with darkness, she's dealing with the fact she's literally been touched by the God of Death and bares the scars (both physical and emotional. I'm using this as an excuse to finally make this a valid design and not just metaphorical) that set her apart from her peers. It's still very much a metaphor for her rage and grief, but has a new and exciting flavor that I'm still working out all the kinks of.

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

Again, depends on verse, but Trick always has at least one, world shattering secret she's keeping to herself. Generally, no matter in what iteration, there are deaths in her past she doesn't want anyone knowing about. The numbers and her exact involvement often vary, but she always feels a sense of guilt for people she either directly or indirectly killed through her actions and/or inactions. Otherwise:

Pack-verse: Her primary secret she wishes no one knew is, exactly, the number of people she's been responsible for killing as an agent of the government. However, that isn't a secret she can hide, as most people know and/or remember her committing those crimes. Instead, the secret she's trying most to hide is the aforementioned experimentation and ensuing consequences. She doesn't want anyone to know just how monstrous she really is, and how utterly disgusted she constantly feels about herself.

SWTOR: She tries to take the fact she was born an Imperial slave to the grave, but it does come out eventually to the Republic or Alliance. Instead, the one thing she will take to the grave is what happened to her as a result of the shielding technique. She'll never speak a word about the non-corruption corruption (thus, she'll never ask for help) because she fears how people will view her or treat her if they ever knew. The only exception is Cipher Nine, sometimes, but that man can and will both take a secret to the grave and never once consider betraying her trust.

BG3: The fact she died and was resurrected by a God. It's kind of hard to avoid in full, given the golden scarring is a dead giveaway of something divine happening to her, but she doesn't easily share the full story. And having died and being resurrected stands in direct contrast to being a cleric (and unrealized Chosen) of Kelemvor, nevermind the fact it was Kelemvor who asked her to live and resurrected her in the first place. It's complicated.

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

Trusting Torren, in every verse. The worst mistake she ever made is trusting her...ex? Abuser? Mirror image and narrative foil? All of the above?

Regardless, Torren is always her worst mistake. She tried so hard to fix him, but he was one of those people who couldn't be helped, and did nothing but manipulate and use her further because of her goodwill. People got hurt and died because of it, no matter the verse. She got hurt (usually assaulted), no matter the verse. Torren is always the worst mistake, no matter what, and the only reason she ever trusted him was because she was young and naive and just wanted to help.

Usually Trick rectifies it by, eventually, killing him. It's the only way she feels like she can rectify everything he's done (to her and to others), and it is her burden to bare alone (though sometimes Tav insists on doing the honors). Even after he's dead though, it takes a long time for her to move on from everything that happened. When she has Tav, he usually helps facilitate her moving on quicker, but she can get there on her own with enough time away from the situation and a metric fuckton of painful self-reflection.

[forgettable-au]

The comic is coming back this week! WOHOO

Start of chapter 2!! Yayy!

[miodiodavinci]

im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave

[hannie-dul-set]

latest nabi moment. it's 4:23am. good fucking night.

[joyridingmp3]

tomorrow plan: seduce rego man into giving me another $30 pink slip because i am so poor i will have literally $2 to my name if he does. and then charm my mother into giving me free drugs. 🤞 love being a libra.

[n7punk]

btw, writing update since it's been... awhile, since i posted something. im working on three fanfics concurrently. im trying to be, like... chiller about it, so i don't get burnt out since i could feel myself feathering against it. im drifting between the three as they call to me and usually writing a few hundred words a day. im still developing the plot for two of them, too, so it's kind of slow going. i would say it's probably going to be a week from now before i would even think about posting something, or for all i know it's going to be another two weeks lol.

ive removed the unhinged era from my blog title because i want to preserve the Sanctity™️ of it now im cooling off (even if one of these fics is... insane). all these AUs are planned to be on the shorter side (more like Hurricane Adora) but because of the way im meandering between them i havent made significant enough progress to start posting on any of them lol. i have one (MMaM) that i got three chapters into and then hit a roadblock, which is the furthest ive gotten in any of them so far

[guinevereslancelot]

snow!!! 🤯

[mostlyihyperfixate]

I have decided I'm gonna just have to put down Spirit of Justice and play Investigations first. If I can't get into my tags without spoiling myself, how will I know when new fanfics get posted???????

But not tonight. I am exhausted, and also weirdly committed to making mundane things I've been looking forward to ~~~special~~~, so it's gonna have to wait until I have access to a bathtub again--or at least until I have had a good night's sleep.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"

[culmaer-sideblog]

please forgive me, but I need to complain and over-share or my brain is going to explode please feel free to ignore

[tennessoui]

do you know when we’ll be getting foolproof’s update, kit? Just wanted to ask bc I have a super stressful day today and I’ve been excited about reading the new chapter as a reward for getting through the stressful stuff for days 🥰🥰🥰

ahhh this is fair this is fair

ive actually reached the point in the chapter where it could very much be split into 2 halves seeing as i'm at 6.5k with about roughly 4 very crucial scenes to go, which would double that word count and then some....

but those are words that aren't there yet (for a time and tide update, i once just split a 12k chapter into 2 parts and posted them at the same time), so i could post what i have --- the current completed scene would be a stopping point that makes sense and it'd be roughly 6k --- or i could wait to post until i have what would be the full chapter and then split it into 2 parts and post them at the same time (that might be up to another week?) --- or i could post 1 very long chapter that does what i want it to do but could be overwhelming to read

literally went on a thirty minute walk today to try and think this through because trust me i do want to give y'all what's coming asap but i also have a vision, which at this point contradicts my stance against 14k chapters (they're gifts from god but also i get lost in them!)

[warningstandbygo]

The great thing about being an Adult is that if you randomly get Extremely Overwhelmed by Existence, no one can stop you from going into your closet in your bedroom with your laptop, changing into a onesie, and sitting in the dark quiet enclosed space all by yourself (even though you're the only one here because your spouse isn't home from work yet).

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: April 15

"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor

[ladylynse]

(Mostly.)