#no I don't know why there's a period in the wrong place in that first paragraph on ao3

[hazbincalifornia]

A Little Poke

Summary:

He wanted Blitz. He wanted Blitz more than anyone in Blitz’s life ever had, wanted to pull him open and suck the marrow from his bones, wanted to tear him to shreds and then sew him back together with golden thread. He also wanted a child. He missed his firstborn deeply, that much was obvious, and it didn’t seem like he had much else going on in his life before Blitz came crashing into it. There was a very tantalizing way to combine the two, and when he asked Stolas to meet up in person again, he could practically hear the panties drop from half the ring away, and he grinned.

Warnings: Explicit content, Breeding kink, Implied mpreg, Pilot au, Mutual Babytrapping

Wordcount: 3380

Ao3 link

They had met once, after Blitz had heard of the prince who spoke to the stars and traveled to Earth to take care of business, and he had decided that there was an opportunity there that needed seizing. Yeah, sure, it was a prince, and that meant if he was caught he’d get himself turned inside out and hung as a pulsing art piece on some wall somewhere, but on the other hand, the prince was almost notoriously a weirdo that nobody liked much, and he really seemed like he needed a good dicking. Plan B of fucking him seemed pretty solid, and Ol’ Reliable was always ready under his pants.

Blitz liked those odds.

He’d staked out the palace for about a week leading up to the heist, and had found out a few things:

First, the prince’s daughter had left home, but she didn’t really seem to come back much. It seemed like this was a fairly recent development, because he kept wandering to her room to sit on her bed and look around, or flipped through a photo album that mostly had the two of them as Blitz adjusted the binoculars and watched as the owl’s feathers drooped. (She was alive, though. He did call her once. Or, rather, he'd tried to call her five times, but she'd only picked up for one of them.)

Secondly, the prince’s wife was a massive bitch. Christ on a stick, frankly Blitz didn’t blame the guy for the amount of alcohol that flowed down his long throat. And they didn’t even get to have makeup sex afterward, so he was left to go sulk in the opposite end of the palace from her.

Thirdly, outside of his job or the party he was dragged to one day, the prince didn’t really seem to leave the house much. He spent most of his free time jerking it in his room to books, draping himself dramatically over his little couch-thing and using magic to jerk it or sticking toys inside himself, and watching soaps. (He also talked to himself, a lot. Satan’s balls, he loved the sound of his voice, narrating shit constantly. Then again, it didn’t seem like had anybody else to blab to, since the kid had flown the coop and the wife wasn’t exactly the listening type.)

Fourth, and finally, Blitz found himself caught up in every little detail as the prince sang while scrubbing a loofah over soaked feathers, the syrupy voice sinking into his chest. Listening to the prince talk and hum and serenade himself for a week had wormed something squirming and hot into his gut. The infinitely long legs and dramatic hands, the feathery softness contrasted with the sharp edges of his beak and claws and eyes… pretty, but dangerous. Very, very dangerous.

So, naturally, when he was caught trying to snatch the book, they fucked, and he enjoyed having nine feet of royal splayed underneath him, as well as hearing that voice aimed at him as reality unraveled.

“Oh, oh, darling, take me apart, fuck me inside out and snap my bones, you are everything-”

Magic swirled around them, sinking into Blitz’s skin as surely as red eyes flashing with white pupils pierced his soul. He was intense, he was manic, and the threat snapped as surely as any whip, but the power Blitz had over this glorious royal beast was intoxicating.

Stolas called, over the next few weeks. Multiple times a day, although a few did have to go to voicemail, which was fine because that meant Blitz could replay them over and over again.

They were mostly long, fucking weird rants all about the things he wanted done to him, or he wanted to do to Blitz. He’d started sending pictures too, and Blitz had never regretted the couch-in-the-living-room setup more, because having to sit in the bathtub to jack off for the fifth day in a row was kinda starting to fuck with his back.

There was the question of the book, of course. Stolas had graciously let him keep it in exchange for carrying out the assassinations that were meant to fall on him to perform- really, everybody won this way. Stolas didn’t have to get his hands dirty, the company could go topside, and IMP could consider him a client since he’d offer to drop them some cash for particularly large kills. (He didn’t really bother to count it outside of the number of bundled wads likely fished out of some safe somewhere, so it usually made up for the smaller ones anyway.)

It wasn’t secure enough, though. It wasn’t going to keep everything the way it was now, not when Stolas might get bored or decide it wasn’t worth it. Not when Stolas might tire of raunchy conversations alone, even though there was far more fire in him in the last month of their calls than there had been in any given moment of the week Blitz had been staking him out.

He wanted Blitz. He wanted Blitz more than anyone in Blitz’s life ever had, wanted to pull him open and suck the marrow from his bones, wanted to tear him to shreds and then sew him back together with golden thread.

He also wanted a child. He missed his firstborn deeply, that much was obvious, and it didn’t seem like he had much else going on in his life before Blitz came crashing into it.

There was a very tantalizing way to combine the two, and when he asked Stolas to meet up in person again, he could practically hear the panties drop from half the ring away, and he grinned.

“And then I tear open your rock-hard chest and squeeze your beating heart as you cum so hard you see entire galaxies, soaked and sticky and-“

Blitz’s tail swished as he set the needle against the wrapper, careful to angle it so the gaudy design would hide the hole once it was shifted around a little, then pressed it through, piercing plastic and latex. It was all too easy to let Stolas’s slightly staticky voice from the speaker sink into his brain and imagine the needle was the hot, heavy length he had summoned for when it was his turn to do the fucking.

Pulling it back, Blitz admired his handiwork before tossing it on the pile he’d been planning to bring tonight, dropping his newly free hand to his stomach and giving it a pat.

“You’re going to make daddy very happy if you come home nice and full of owl baby, you got it?” His stomach only gave a little gurgle, but he took it for a yes as he reached for the next condom and readied the needle again with a cheery whistle.

He’d always wanted a big family anyway.

_________

He shimmied up to the balcony- across from the statue in the garden Stolas had of himself, and directly above the table where he’d gotten cake splattered all over and shoved up into his ass after falling into the wife’s tea party. The shocked look on her face before she’d sputtered and tried to swipe at him with her talons had been worth almost as much as the book itself was, even though he’d had to scrub for a while with cheeks pried wide to get all of the frosting out once he’d gotten home.

Anyway. She wasn’t the focus tonight, Stolas- and, hopefully, his filled guts- would be. Blitz hauled himself over the railing, shifting his bag over his shoulder at the closed door. “Stolas!”

“Blitzy!” His voice was slightly muffled, but with a snap of fingers, the handles on the door lit up red and the doors flew wide open to expose the prince who had already laid out on the bed with a rose in his beak and his red robe draped over his shoulders. He narrowed his eyes as he quirked his beak up into a smirk, tail flicking once before settling down as Blitz ventured closer to the bed, then opened his mouth to float the rose over to settle in Blitz’s collar. “Now, to what do I owe the extreme pleasure, darling?”

“I figured that since, y’know, you’re letting us keep the book, I might as well show you how much I appreciate it,” Blitz said, tipping his bag over to let the half-opened box full of condoms spill in front of Stolas like a kicked-over treasure chest, and getting a delighted curl of clawed toes and a slightly squealy hoot to go with it. Bingo.

“Oh, I knew you were a good one, Blitzy,” Stolas practically breathed before reaching forward to snag the back of Blitz’s neck, pulling him down onto the bed- or more specifically, on top of him- and into a kiss. He reached in to grab the rose back and fling it into the air. Petals showered down on them while the kiss deepened, tongues tangling as Blitz allowed himself to sink into the soft-as-fuck feathers and the breath that tasted like mint layered over meat in all the right ways.

Stolas’s hand slid down to squeeze Blitz’s ass, and Blitz returned the favor, tail tangling with the fluffy flesh on his thighs and what little of his feathery butt that he could reach from their awkward position. Stolas didn’t seem to mind, the bit of tail that was brushing his inner thighs pulling a lewd moan from him, and he pulled back from the kiss with a pop.

“I was thinking.”

“Imagine that,” Blitz said, raising an eyebrow, and Stolas gave him a playful swat before rolling over, leaving Blitz pinned underneath him as his long body cast a shadow. His eager mouth seemed to spread across his entire face, tracing a finger down Blitz’s chest and stomach and humming.

“Last time, you were mostly the one fucking me, which was wonderful, but the round where we switched was plenty fun, and I so enjoyed your cute little whimpers. What if we did that again?”

“Hey, they weren’t fucking whimpers!” Blitz protested, but Stolas’s grin just widened.

“They weren’t, hmm?” Another snap of his fingers, and a bubble appeared next to them, with a video of Blitz being plowed directly into the mattress with a glowing gray cock planted deep between his asscheeks and a rather squeaky sound emitting from his body. Blitz smacked Stolas’s ass with his tail even as a flush dotted his cheeks, and got a cackle out of the bird that he smothered in another rough kiss that almost snagged his lip on razor-sharp beak before pulling back.

“You know, I was going to ask for that anyway, but if you’re going to be a fucking smart-ass about it, princey-”

“Oh, I’ll be good! I’ll be very good,” Stolas promised, reaching for the condoms Blitz had brought. He lifted the closest one, sticking it up to his eye as if examining a fancy diamond, then rolling it in his fingers with the index talon pressing against the surface of the wrapper. He dropped his hand into the ruffled-up blanket before turning to look at the rest. “You came expecting to really get your cute little cheeks destroyed, didn’t you?”

“Dabbled with the thought, yeah,” Blitz said. “Plus, since we, y’know, know each other now, you can go in the front if you want. One freshly slicked-up man cave, just for you, one night only.” (It’d be more than one, if he was lucky, but Stolas didn’t have to know that yet.)

Stolas’s head spun around at that, glee lighting up his features and white flames dancing in his eyes. “Really? I can do both?”

“I might even throw in the mouth too if I really like what you do with the place and I think you’ll lay the fuck off without me being able to snap out the big-boy words and just use body signals,” Blitz said, waving a hand. “Impress me.”

“Oh, you’re feeling generous today… I may just have to take advantage,” Stolas purred, twisting a hand as a glow shimmered between his legs. When Blitz glanced down, something long, thick, and particularly spiky in a way that drove chills up his spine was resting between the thighs. “Now, legs open, pet.”

The way the last word was purred drove way more blood to Blitz’s dick and pussy combo than it really should have, but his legs snapped open fast enough to practically snap sparks on the blankets, and Stolas tore the condom wrapper off before rolling it down his cock. A twirl of his wrist summoned a bottle of lube, which he applied generously, and he hummed as he nudged his tip against Blitz’s entrance- which was already dripping. “On three?”

Blitz rolled his eyes. “I'm not a little bitch, just put it in alrEADY-”

Stolas took his words to heart, immediately thrusting forward before Blitz had even finished his sentence and burying half his cock inside with a cry.

“Oh yes, yes, take all of me you greedy little slut, I’m going to turn your pretty little pussy into mulch and then bathe in your blood-”

Blitz’s heels dug into the mattress as Stolas pushed in further, the owl’s hands wrapping around his thighs and digging into the muscle deep enough that spots of black bubbled up from the skin even as the fat cock advanced with spikes tickling the walls like ridges. “F-fuck yeah, just like that-”

“Take it, take all of it.” Stolas snapped his hips further forward, pushing himself in almost to the base as Blitz felt the weight drag against his inner walls. “You’re so good to me, darling, you listen, and you have the cutest little ass and thighs and abs and face that I want to just devour-”

“Do it, take all of me, you horny-ass princey bitch,” Blitz growled out, locking his legs around Stolas’s waist before his tail wound around them to keep them tight. “Take me, claim me, make me yours and keep me.”

All four of Stolas’s eyes bloomed with white in the middle, tiny flames the color of scars. The edges of his feathers shuddered with blood-black and Pride-red as he stared for a moment before slamming forward and closing what little space remained, locking them together with a dual moan as they both only took half a moment to adjust before the thrusting back and forth began.

“You want me to keep you, Blitzy? What about a cage in the basement, or a collar in the corner of this room, always ready for whenever I wanted my precious little pet?”

Blitz shivered, tail twisting tighter around Stolas’s waist before Stolas leaned in close, voice dropping low. “Oh, I have a much better idea. What if I made you gravid?”

“Grav-”

“Round and heavy with child,” Stolas clarified, and Blitz’s tail froze.

He didn’t know, did he?

“Into breeding, then?” he managed, the heel of one hoof digging into Stolas’s back, but it only got a giggle and a narrowing of eyes that edged on that of a kid that had just been handed a knife and a bowl of candy.

“For you, darling? Absolutely.” One hand raised to cup his cheek before giving a pinch. “You would make the most adorable children, and oh, the thought of you fat and swollen with my chicks, oozing milk and cum, constantly crying out for me to fill and fulfill you-” he shuddered, accenting it with another thrust. “You’d be mine, all mine, and I would be all yours.”

At some point, Blitz’s tongue had lolled out, and his pussy was gushing like the acid geysers down in Wrath. Real, real, he could make that real, and right the fuck now. “Fuck, Stolas, fill me up.”

“Oh, you want that, don’t you? You want my owlets, you want this cock to split you open until you’re stuffed with me?”

“Fuck yeah I do, give me all you’ve got, knock me up, get me pregnant.” He could feel the lube easing the way for Stolas’s cock, as well as the latex of the cheapest condom brand he’d could find. Mostly, though, he could feel his brain halfway to getting melted out of his eyeballs because Stolas’s body wasn’t fully in the room with them, the edges bleeding black and ruby into disreality and taking his tail and legs with it. That magic rippling in the air combined with the cock in his pussy had every nerve inside and outside of his skin sparking like nightmare of an electrical extension cord that was powering his apartment building’s entire fifth floor.

Even half-anchored, Stolas’s fingers were like knives, slicing Blitz’s thighs as he thrust with the edges of his form lapping up the blood and singing as they did. Something was chanting ‘mine’, and if it was Stolas, he had a whole choir of the damned playing backup in a way that made Blitz’s soul sing right along with them.

“I want you on this bed where you’ll never fucking leave,” Stolas moaned out, or at least something thereabouts because Blitz’s ears weren’t fully working anymore. He mumbled something that was definitely clever in response moments before the spikes flared out, catching and digging in with a flash of pained ecstasy as his own claws dug through the comforter and his back arched up. “Over and over, always full and fat with child and so very, very fuckable, all mine.”

“You want me?” Blitz managed. Wings of stardust snapped out, an angel of life and death and infinity all at once as all he could focus on were four hypnotizing eyes. When the response came, it hissed down to his very cells.

“Always, my broodmare.”

The orgasm hit Blitz like a mob enforcer in their prime, and Stolas’s followed almost instantly, flooding him with wave after wave after wave after wave of hot, thick cum that burst through the condom and bloated up his stomach, each pulse adding to it- from his regular trim middle to a slight bit of ‘pudge’ to a well and proper cum balloon, heavy and sloshing with every breath.

Blitz collapsed back into the pillows, hearing one rip about a million miles away but physically incapable of giving even half a rat’s ass about it.

Stolas’s form slowly fuzzed back into reality. His feathers were disheveled, flopping out of his coiffed ‘hair’ and over his top eyes.

“Oh, oh Blitzy…” As he pulled back, a flood of jizz came with him, stickying up the sheets even before they could see the broken latex on the end. “That was…”

Blitz held up a finger, pounding on his chest. “One sec…” A wet little burp escaped him, and it tasted salty. When he let his tongue loll out, something white and sticky dripped off the end, and he swiped up a fingerful before wiping it on the bed next to the cum- which it matched. Both of them stared at it for a moment. “You know what, I’m just going to put that down to your weird-as-fuck magic.”

“Fair enough!” Stolas said with a wide smile that twitched slightly on the edges as he lifted the broken condom. “Well, that was unexpected… but it’s too late now!” He kicked the box off the bed. “What do you say we just go in rough and raw for the rest of the night? It’s not like adding them back in would fix anything at this point, after all.”

Blitz glanced at the tampered-with box for only a second before he smirked and wrapped his tail around Stolas’s waist again.

Yeah.

Yeah, this would work just fine.

“Game on.”

[secretlovezz]

Whiplash

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Summary: you've been avoiding Eddie like the plague and he's desperate to figure out what he's done to deserve it.

Warnings: hurt/comfort?? idk, kissing, fluffy ending, pining, idiots in love, use of y/n, she/her pronouns used for reader, reader is a crybaby ig idk she reacted how I would soooo, lmk if i missed anything!

Wordcount: 2010

A/N: Not really proofread and kind of written in a rush cause I wasn't feeling it about halfway through so sorry if you can tell 😞

You weren't there... again.

Your absence from your usual seat to the left of Eddie leaves him in a deep state of confusion his eyebrows furrowing in thought. This was the fifth day without your presence at his side, almost an entire week without your voice giddily telling him about the book you were reading or a new recipe you've tried, almost an entire week of being deprived of that perfect little gleam in your eyes when you looked at him rambling about something you enjoyed, and his heart ached in deprivation.

And because of this, he could with full confidence say you were avoiding him- but as to why he had no idea.

Eddie's silent at the lunch table staring at nothing in particular, and though the guys -especially the freshman- had finally learned to normalize Eddie's peculiar-ness and oddities this new silence and bleak aura had them surprised. He was stuck in his head racking through everything that's happened in the last week that could have possibly scared you away from him.

He thinks about the time he asked you for help with his math homework, but that couldn't be it considering that definitely was not the first time he'd asked and definitely was not the first time you'd happily agreed to do so. He reminisces about when he'd come to visit you during your shift at the local library in boredom playfully bothering you as you re-placed books onto the shelf.

He thinks and thinks and thinks but nothing comes to mind for your sudden evasion.

"Dude, you think any harder and steam will come out of your ears," Gareth rolls his eyes at Eddie, "What the hell's wrong with you anyway?"

Eddie leans back in his chair and dramatically throws his head back to look at the ceiling, his hair flows behind him and moves as people walk by, "She's avoiding me."

Dustin's head snaps up, still chewing his food he inserts himself into the conversation, "Who? Y/N? I just talked to her last period, she seemed fine," He shrugged.

At that Eddies head pops back up, eyes locking with Dustin's in a way that leaves the younger boy cringing, and the crease between his brows intensifies, "So she's still talking to you guys but not me?" He starts to pout a little by the end of his question.

Everyone sends looks to each other before slowly nodding and Eddie's forehead loudly makes contact with the cafeteria table, the guys wince in response.

"Well... have you tried- I don't know, asking her about it?"

The glare sent in Mikes direction after his question almost makes him apologize. Eddie heatedly scratches his head and groans in irritation; he'd tried more than a handful of times to get ahold of you, tried more than enough times to just hear your voice again but nothing worked. When he waited by your locker you would walk the other way, when he called you, you hung up as soon as you heard his voice, and worst of all you would throw out the little notes he sent you in class as you walked out and away from him once again.

"Duh! Of course I have," Eddies reply is laced with annoyance and frustration, "But I can't ask her anything if she keeps running away- I mean come on! She won't even look at me, man." His voice is soft and emotional when speaking his last sentence, He runs his hand over his face weakly and suddenly he feels like he's being pitied. He doesn't want that.

He hastily moves to pick up his things, thrusting the items into his little lunch box with more force than necessary with a pout on his tired face before standing from his seat and angrily walking away across the cafeteria, from the table and the others. They all sigh when he makes it past the cafeteria doors and after a silent moment Jeff is the first who speaks up, "So- When do you guys think they'll get over themselves and finally get together?"

《----------♡

When the last bell rings after what feels like years to Eddie he's swiftly making his way out of class and out of the building, but now what time would usually be spent merrily walking to his car and making plans to see you during the weekend was spent instead making his way into the woods strolling past trees and going to the little picnic table placed in that clearing he visits every once in awhile.

He stares at the ground and his feet as he treads, kicking rocks, stones, and branches on the way.

Eddies just about there just a few trees away from the clearing before he hears footsteps other than his own a little ways ahead of him he pauses head finally lifting to look in front of him and waits to see who appears.

To his surprise you pop into his vision and his round, brown eyes widen. He goes to take a step forward his body automatically and urgently trying to get to you, desperately needing to be near the drug that is you, but he stops himself to observe.

You sit at the table and pull a book out from the satchel bag at your side and a humorous huff leaves through his nose, his face relaxing and lips curling up at the sight of you doing something you often enthusiastically spoke to him about before realizing that its a book he does not recognize, that you had started a new one, and you hadn't told him like you usually would have. The thought wipes the smile from his face in an instant and his brows furrow for the nth time that day.

He steps forward and does not stop himself this time, sauntering toward you almost as angrily has he had left the cafeteria without your knowledge as you are already too engrossed in whatever new story you were traveling into. When he sits across from you at the table you feel it shift with the added weight and at last realize that you are no longer alone.

When you eventually look up, placing your thumb in-between the pages you were reading to keep your place, your heart drops at the sight of the frustrated man in front of you. You try to move away but he quickly grabs your wrist urging you to sit back down, you look at him again and the anguish written on his face makes you find your seat.

Your gaze moves to your lap and Eddie doesn't let you go too afraid you run away again.

Eddie is the one to break the stifling silence, "Talk to me... please?" The sound of his voice makes your heart ache so guiltily it hurts, "Just- Just tell what I did wrong- tell me so I can fix it."

Though your mouth opens to respond nothing comes out and your eyes gloss over with salty tears. Eddie's hold on your wrist moves to your hand gently cupping it in his calloused palm while his thumb moves to continuously swipe over your warm skin.

Your cheeks warm at the intimate contact and it only makes your eyes well with my tears reminding you of why you were ignoring him in the first place.

"When you-," You struggle to get the words out of your closing throat but Eddie still listens patiently, "Last time... you- you did something. It wasn't a big deal to you- but um... to me it- it meant a lot and that's kind of the problem."

The brunette across from you leans in closer and tilts his head in confusion, "What did I do?"

You glance to the side in embarrassment but Eddie's thumb taps you twice to bring your attention back to the conversation, "Talk to me Princess; Tell me what I did so we can go back to normal, I miss my best friend."

You didn't want to go back to normal.

For the first time in days your eyes connect with Eddie's and you take in a shaky breath at the sight of his enchanting eyes. "You uh- you kissed me..."

Now he's confused. He had kissed you? When? He's sure he would remember finally getting to kiss you.

Your free hand travels to your cheek and it all clicks for him, the pieces falling into place. He can't help but let out a chuckle of amusement; you were right- he had kissed you, kissed you on your cheek, that is, a sweet little peck against your skin. His laughter dies out when you rip your hand from his, the tears in your eyes spilling over.

Eddie stands and rounds the table to you, "Hey hey I- I'm I shouldn't have laughed. Don't cry, sweetheart." His hands place themselves on your elbows as your hands move to cover your face. He starts to feel like that little kiss really did more than he had thought.

"Did it make you uncomfortable? I won't do it again I promise," You shake your head at his words, "Talk to me, baby."

"Don't do that! Don't call me those names if you don't mean it," Eddies eyes go wide at your outburst and his mouth opens to speak but you beat him to it, "you- you kiss me and call me those names and I- It's just too much... I like you too much."

All too quickly Eddie is forcefully removing your hands from your face and cupping your cheeks thumbing the tears from your skin, "I like you too much too."

"Don't be mean Eddie."

He connects his forehand to yours, both of your eyes closing at the closeness, "M'not, would never joke about that." His soft pink lips brush gently against yours as he speaks and your breath hitches. Your lips part slightly and your cold breath fans Eddie's face. "How can I show you I mean it hm? How 'bout... a real kiss?" He mutters. You nod all too briskly for someone who was just crying and it makes Eddie smile.

In the fullness of time Eddie presses his lips to yours and when he finally gets the taste of your lips on his he realizes he's waited entirely too long to do this despite being willing to wait an eternity for you. He's been starving for the absolute goddess that is you, now getting to satisfy that hunger digging in with no resistance and sliding his tongue past your lips flushed against him. The ache he had felt without you there fading once and for all as you kissed him back. Your hands atop his squeeze as a noise escapes the back of your throat and Eddie kisses you deeper at your audible reaction. He wants to consume you, wants to keep you so close you never leave his side, he needs it- needs you and makes sure it shows in the way he kisses you.

When he pulls away your both panting for air, Eddie's grin is smug on the top of your head and your arms are wrapped around him.

"I can't believe you made me feel like shit for an entire week just cause I gave you a lil' kiss on the cheek," Eddie mocked trying to get a quick quip in.

"Shut up! It totally freaked me out."

His loud cackle echoed in your ears and you smiled, pulling him closer and pressing your nose into his skin. Eddie's arms moved to wrap around you as well and his large hands snake around you also trying to squeeze you impossibly closer. He presses a fast peck on your cheek, then your temple, and then the top of your head. Eddie takes a deep breath inhaling the scent of you- memorizing it.

"Promise you won't do that to me again. Don't leave me alone like that again."

"I won't Eds, I promise."

"Besides! What are you going to do without me here being oh so entertaining huh?"

You laugh, "I have no idea."

[lia-linny]

summary: yn is insecured about talking to much but her boyfriend hyunjin is there to comfort her

genre: hurt, comfort, fluff

words: 1k

note: i lost the request but who ever asked for this i hope you enjoy. ♡

It was a typical Friday evening. As always, Yn stumbled through the door of the small apartment she shared with her boyfriend Hyunjin just as he sat down in front of his canvas. Loaded down with bags, she tried to get rid of her shoes with moderate success.

"Yn-aaaaah how was work, love?"

"Good," she replied curtly, putting down one of her numerous shopping bags, which were filled to the brim. Hyunjin was taken aback. When yn came home on Fridays, she usually never stopped talking to him about her work. About how much fun she had with her new project at work, what she had for lunch or what her annoying colleague had done again. It wasn't like her to be that curt and dismissive, hyunjin realized with a frown. shrugging his shoulders, he began to draw. maybe she was just tired.

yn was completely caught up in her usual routine. everything was the same as always. But instead of looking forward to the weekend with her boyfriend and finding comfort in her upcoming weekly "painting-tea-talking ritual", she was plagued by countless self-doubts today. Was she not pretty enough? Was she really annoying hyunjin? Was she too loud?

Sighing, she walked through the kitchen and put the freshly bought groceries away in their designated places. When she had put the last can in one of the cupboards, she put on some tea water and opened the shelf with her thousands of cups. without thinking about it, she pulled out her comfort cup and filled it to the brim with hot water. looking at it, the cup wasn't particularly pretty. the design was peeling off nicely because of the frequent washing, and yet it was perfect in yn's eyes. it had been the first gift hyunjin had ever given her. when she met him, she was stuck in one of the darkest periods of her life. plagued by insecurities, stress and unhealthy relationships, hyunjin had smuggled himself into her life as a small glimmer of hope and when he wasn't there or she couldn't express her worries, she clung to the cup.

Ironically, the reason she needed to hold her cup today was her fear of losing hyunjin. Was she too exhausting? lost in thought, she picked out a tea bag and carefully let it disappear into the water in the cup. then, as usual, she sat down next to hyunjin, who by now had a rough sketch on his canvas and greeted her with a beaming smile.

the artist had been looking forward to her usual ritual all day. yn could only muster a half-hearted grin. as she slumped into her usual chair, hyunjin waited patiently to finally hear all about her day. he was dying to find out whether her colleague ayumi had so obviously made a move at her much too old and happily married boss again, or whether linh from the marketing department had spilled her coffee on her colleagues again and had brought these heavenly muffins as an apology for the chaos, which yn would quote "kill for". in both cases, this would be the third time in a month. but instead of the usual gossip, a depressed silence followed. hyunjin tried to ignore the silence by turning his attention back to the painting in front of him.

he began to paint a dark blue. he carefully let the brush glide over the canvas. as he always did. as he had done hundreds of times before and yet it was wrong. the line was wrong. it didn't show what his heart wanted to express. it was too big and too small, too wide and too thin. it lacked any warmth, just like hyunjin. the room was warmed by the rays of the setting sun and his sweater gave his body a pleasant temperature but it didn't reach his heart.

"yn-ah what's wrong? why don't you talk to me? you can't make me beg so brutally. give me all the tea!" hyunjin's mouth twisted into a pout and made yn smile slightly.

"I don't know, Jini... I talk too much anyway... I don't want to distract you from painting." to say hyunjin was confused would be an understatement. he furrowed his brow worriedly.

"jagia where did you get the idea that you talk too much? i love to hear you talk. especially when i'm painting! i want to know how your day was. every day! i want to hear everything you have to tell me my muse. i can't paint without you. the lines don't get right the painting can't really convey what i feel but when you're with me, when i hear your honey sweet voice it just becomes real love. i never want you to shut up understand?" hyunjin curled his shapely lips into a pout as if his girlfriend had personally attacked him with her previous statement.

"okay, okay jini!" yn laughed, but hyunjin didn't want to let the whole thing go so easily.

"jagi, what makes you think you talk too much?" hyunjin shifted so that his full attention was on his beloved. he looked at her anxiously as she nervously kneaded her hands and clutched her cup for support.

"well... i just thought... you know, hana, you know the one who regularly sleeps with the ceo... i was talking about our date where we went to see this beautiful van gogh exhibition and well... she said i always talk way too much and that i never let anyone get a word in edgewise. and... maybe she also said that... she's surprised that someone like you is still with me at all... and i mean she's not entirely wrong, is she? i always talk so much. when you paint i ramble non-stop. you don't get a word in edgewise and i'd understand if you were annoyed with me for that... or something"

"ohh love..." hyunjin sighed and wrapped his girlfriend in a warm hug, pulling her onto his lap, which she only commented on with a sad smile.

"have you forgotten that I always ramble the same way?" He lovingly nudged her nose, which made her giggle.

"i sometimes ramble on for hours about how great our new choreography is or how annoyed i am with one of the boys and as far as i can remember you always love to listen to me. so please don't stop. you shouldn't listen to hana this little..."

yn stopped her boyfriend from uttering a sinful insult to hana by placing her soft and tea-warmed lips on his. hyunjin sighed into the kiss and pulled her closer to him. Their lips moved as if they had never done anything else before. They danced a dance whose choreography only they knew. Hyunjin's hands were soon in her hair as he tried to take away her insecurities with his kiss alone.

panting, they broke away from each other but hyunjin didn't let her escape from his strong arms. slowly, he covered her now laughing face with kisses. smiling, hyunjin buried his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. "soo... are you going to tell me how your day was, my muse?" he asked, pressing a tender kiss to her sensitive neck, which made her giggle.

"okay... do you know how annoying hikaru was today? he's been running around all day and..." hyunjin returned to his canvas even though one of his hands was now occupied holding yn's, who by now was sitting in her own chair again, sipping her tea as she talked.

by now, the sun had disappeared and was replaced by the soft shimmer of the moon. the cool evening air wafted through the open windows of their shared apartment and yet hyunjin was much warmer than he had been just a few minutes before. her voice dripped like liquid honey straight to his heart and the soft giggle that had just left her lips made hyunjin beam. he carefully applied the brush and... the line was perfect.

[amomentsescape]

Slashers x secret admirer!reader.

How would they react to all the small gifts left for them? Would they track the person down? Would they confront them? Would they stalk them? How would the slashers react if the gifts stopped for a period of time?

Slashers with a Secret Admirer

Slashers x Secret Admirer! Reader (Separate)

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo

Freddy Krueger

Oh, he knows

There isn't a way for you to be discreet when he can literally enter your mind every night

That's how the admiration started for you in the first place

Seeing him there, taunting you in such a creepy and yet powerful way

Something drew you in

And the feeling is mutual

I mean, why else hadn't he killed you yet?

He keeps his eye on you whenever he can, sometimes ensuring your dreams are happy and not all nightmares

Some are still terrifying though

He knows you like the thrill

You've tried to surprise him with gifts and letters a couple times, but he knows about them before he even receives them

You really can't keep anything from this guy

And don't even think about taking anything back

You started this whole "game" between you two

There's no way out now

Michael Myers

He immediately assumes the worst

The moment he sees the gifts and letters left for him, he quickly believes that someone is out to get him

You're trying to play mind games with him, but it won't work

Nobody will ever best Michael

He watches you for a while, plotting his moves carefully and thinking of the best way to get back at you for your taunting

There really wasn't anything about your gifts that seemed threatening to him

In fact, he quite liked a couple of the things you gifted him

Well, as much as Michael could like something other than killing

And this is partly what angered him so much

How on earth could you know him well enough to gift him such items?

He was going to get answers one way or another

And it was going to be soon

Jason Voorhees

He's honestly just baffled

How did you even find him in the middle of nowhere?

And even worse: what were you plotting?

No one has ever shown him kindness before besides his mother

This type of attention is so foreign to him that he just assumes you have the wrong person

This was all just some weird accident

But he's happy to play pretend for a while

And if the gifts suddenly stop, he can't help but feel disappointed

You must have finally figured out that he wasn't the one you were trying to impress

He won't be the type to try and figure out who you were

It all just seemed too sweet to be real, and he just wanted to play into the fantasy for a while

It was nice while it lasted

Thomas Hewitt

He quickly guesses that this is just some poor joke being played by someone in the family

No one comes out here

If they do, they're dead

And if a person was really wanting to surprise someone, there was no way he would be that someone

But after days of keeping his eye out, none of his family seemed to be acting suspicious

So this is just odd

He goes on and lets the gifts keep coming

It honestly gives him something to look forward to each week

But after a while, he becomes too curious on who you are

So he does what he does best: he sets a trap

Nothing to hurt you, but he just has to know who this secret admirer is

He doesn't want to go another day without feeling this level of kindness ever again

Bubba Sawyer

A gift? For him?

This has to be Christmas, right?

He prances around the house every single time, flaunting whatever new item you sent his way

He truly believes that you must be his guardian angel looking out for him

That's the only explanation

But as many know, Bubba isn't very patient

If he's craving something sweet, he immediately takes the candy, no questions asked

So don't expect to be a secret for very long

He's going to do whatever it takes to "catch" you

That way, the gifts and fun will never end!

You sort of dug yourself into a whole with this

But don't worry

He'll treat you just as sweetly

Brahms Heelshire

He doesn't react as badly as one might think right away

He just assumes the gifts are from his parents

But after receiving his first letter, he realizes this is more romantic in nature

And this is quite a dangerous game you're playing

Since he immediately becomes obsessed

He'll kindly play this game with you

He'll leave the doll near the main window, coaxing you to come take a deeper look

He'll start to leave the door unlocked or a window cracked open in hopes you'll be tempted to take a trip inside

But unfortunately, Brahms is as shallow as he is dangerous

If you are a beauty, he will gladly whisk you away into his home

But if you aren't what he pictured you to be, he will dispose of you

You've created this idealistic image in his mind, and he needs it to be perfect

Norman Bates

He probably reacts the most "normal" out of anyone else

He's surprised of course, but he happily takes the gifts and finds a little drawer at home to keep them

He likes to pull them out whenever he is feeling down

With how shy he is, he won't be the one to step up and try to confront you or figure out who you are

He kind of likes the mystery

Although, he does hope one of these times you will finally reveal who you are to him

If the gifts suddenly stop, Norman will become a lot more upset than he could have predicted

It can be so lonely where he is, and he finally thought maybe he was making an actual connection with someone

He may make a trip to the nearest town in order to people-watch for a while

He secretly hopes there will be some sign that will make you known to him, but that's clearly wishful thinking

Billy Loomis

He's flattered, don't get him wrong, but you are certainly not the first nor the last to admire him from afar

He's gotten several secret admirers in his day

I mean, look at him

He'll gladly take your gifts or letters with pride, but they'll likely get thrown in with all the other trinkets he's gathered over the years

If the gifts suddenly stop however, he'll act like it doesn't phase him at all

But he becomes curious on why you stopped

And this curiosity soon becomes obsession

Every killing he goes on, he'll raid the house, trying to find any sign on who his secret admirer is

Why would you stop? What's wrong with him?

The questions are enough to drive him insane

Stu Macher

Almost anyone can tell something has changed with Stu

He holds his head a little higher, smiles a little wider, and talks a little louder

He walks around school with his eyes peered, hoping that eye contact will be enough to figure out who his secret admirer is

But when he's not at school, he's making a list on any person he thinks it could be

He makes sure to convince Billy to hit those people's houses first during their "nights out"

He may even go as far as interrogating all of his victims, eventually killing them when he realizes they know nothing about his secret admirer

But he shakes this off quickly

He has full faith that he'll learn who you are

There's only so many houses in Woodsboro after all

Vincent Sinclair

He's honestly completely in awe at this situation

It had always been Bo who had the secret admirers

People have been fawning over his brother since they were younger, but now he's the one being sought after?

This can't be real

He does his best to keep all of this from his brothers

He's worried that them finding out will ruin the whole thing somehow

And he truly loves how it feels to be wanted

If the gifts stop at any point, he'll be devastated

He won't go as far as to seek you out

But he will certainly mourn you and your attention

He knew it was too good to be true

Bo Sinclair

Similar to Billy, this isn't his first rodeo

But unlike him, he's not as kind about the situation

Your gifts are disposed of as quickly as they are received

It's not that he isn't appreciative, it's just that he seeks confidence and hates games

If you're interested in him, then why not just step up and make a move in person?

If you're not willing to do that, then it's mostly a waste of his time

If the gifts keep coming, he'll eventually hit a point where he becomes annoyed

He'll break the gifts and trash them right outside the door, leaving them there in hopes you'll take the hint

And if you do, then he's satisfied

He doesn't need the attention because he knows he can get whoever he wishes

He doesn't have time for silly teenage games

[rederiswrites]

Okay so I'm giving @corseque 's super-important audio of all Solas' comments about the Blight a second (or fifteenth, whatever) listen and taking notes as I go.

Solas doesn't think for a second that once the archdemons are gone the Blight will be gone. Which really makes sense because it's the Blight that makes them an archdemon, not the other way around. Supposedly, they're blighted when the darkspawn reach and corrupt them. But of course that begs the question of why it's only darkspawn (and uh, honorary darkspawn like the Wardens) that hear their call. Anyway, the way he says it, it sounds more like the archdemons are a limiting factor than a driving factor.

Varric: "What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?" Solas: "A great deal!" So yeah, whatever the plan was, he didn't foresee darkspawn as a consequence. So did he not foresee them existing at all, or not foresee them being free to cause problems? Worth noting that it's really clear both in general and in Descent that dwarves as a whole were a huge blind spot for him.

He is really really surprised that the Western Approach ever recovered from the Blight. Pretty clear he didn't think that was possible.

He thinks that everything the Wardens have done up til now is a deeply misguided effort that's served (mostly accidentally) as a delaying tactic. Gotta say, with the information we have at hand, this point pairs about as well with the last as a nice dry red with spicy pickles. If the Wardens shouldn't have done what they've done, but he didn't think recovery from the Blight was possible, I'd love to hear what he thought the alternative was.

Same dialogue as above, but when Solas talks about stopping the Blight and when Blackwall and Varric talk about it, one gets the distinct impression that they're talking at cross purposes, because Varric and Blackwall are talking about the experience of Blights, as in, periodic events, whereas I think Solas is talking about THE Blight, that is, its true nature, which is yet untouched.

He thinks Erimond is dumb as shit, which is fair and valid. "That's madness! For all we know, killing the Old Gods could make things even worse!" he says. Well, he knows a lot more than "we" know, but it's entirely possible that he doesn't for sure know this. Increasingly clear that he thinks it, though.

I'd forgotten just how pissed off he was about the Grey Warden plan to kill the Old Gods before they were corrupted. It really doesn't give "hey you're killing my relatives" energy. It really gives "wow that would fuck us all" vibes.

Of course, with a side of my remembering that Solas' besetting flaw was always thinking people should know better even though they don't have access to the knowledge he has. That flaw I WILL grant. He displays it repeatedly--you could even say the writers went out of their way to make the point.

"The Blight is the real problem"

"The fools who first unleashed the Blight on this world thought they were unlocking ultimate power." Anyway yeah those are the absolute core of everything here. The Blight is the real problem and the Blight was deliberate. Deliberately made or deliberately freed.

Even during the events of Inquisition, Solas obviously sees Corypheus as secondary to the Blight as a danger.

Cassandra suggests that the archdemons were really just dragons--"Pets to those who no longer exist", by which she probably means the Old Gods, not specifically the gods of Elvhen, just because of her cultural background. Solas finds this suggestion amusingly wrong--a quiet snort, and "I would not go so far as that."

Last notes: he doesn't sound like he thinks the Blight can be stopped, and he's adamant that it can't be controlled. Which is presumably why he broke the world in an attempt to contain it, assuming I'm right that that was the underlying reason for the Veil. That it didn't quite work the way he'd hoped is also pretty evident, though I wanna be clear that I assume he was working from a place of desperation, and that not knowing every possible outcome of an action is not a condemnation of having taken it.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles.

It's Inevitable

Prompt Day 4: Mistletoe | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Brief Period-Typical Homophobia | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, But Is The Town Pariah, First Kiss

The amount of eggnog Steve has requested they pick up is borderline insane. How many people is he expecting at his party tonight? Honestly. The line to checkout at the Big Buy is long, too long, and Eddie regrets offering to be the last minute errand boy.

Everybody's out in full-force stocking up for New Year's, and now it looks like he intends to drink his body weight in yellow sludge.

At least he forced Gareth into coming with him, so he isn't suffering alone.

Waiting for their turn to pay, there is a cardboard box floor display full of sprigs of mistletoe. Clearance priced and ready to move after Christmas. They've all seen better days, and are meant to be an impulse purchase to move them out the door, Unfortunately, Eddie falls for it, hook, line and sinker. He picks one up, and throws one in the top basket of the cart, and continues to wait as he glances at all the magazines, seeing what he can read for free while they're stuck in place.

"What's that for?" Gareth asks, picking up the mistletoe with two fingers, holding it outwards, like it might bite him. 

"The party," Eddie answers, "why are you acting like it's poisonous?"

"It is poisonous," Gareth answers, tossing it back into the cart, then brushes his hands against his jeans, like that will clean them, "Who are you trying to kill?"

"Sssh," Eddie hisses, looking around. It hasn't been long enough that he feels truly comfortable in town, and he definitely doesn't want killing associated with him any fucking longer. Jesus. He just wants to kiss someone. Is that too much to ask?

He doesn't think so.

"I just thought it might make the night interesting, that's all," Eddie finally answers.

"Interesting. Sure. Am I even invited to this party?" Gareth asks.

Eddie sighs, "Yes. You're invited where I'm invited, why do you keep asking that every damn time we do something with Steve?"

"He never talks to me. He only talks to you," Gareth grumbles.

"Do you want to talk to him?" Eddie asks.

"No, not really. But it might be nice to not feel invisible," he says, arms crossed, petulant.

Eddie will tell Steve to say hi or something, make the little shit happy.

The old man behind the register glares at him, which is par for the fucking course. He holds the mistletoe like Eddie is asking to use it on him, and Eddie has to bite his tongue to not be snarky, as the old asshole mumbles under his breath about Eddie being a freak, a queer, a murderer, and Eddie squeezes the handle of the cart. He's two of the three, but this asshole doesn't get to say so.

That's been the worst part of his reentry into society after barely surviving the court of public opinion. The scrutiny, the hatred, still so real that he doesn't feel comfortable being himself in town. He escaped being convicted for murders he didn't commit by the skin of his teeth, thanks to Hopper's miraculous resurrection. He knows that.

But being quiet, and non-reactive, when he feels wronged, is soul-crushing.

He doesn't snap at him, but Gareth does, and nobody is about to cast stones at Carolyn Jones' little boy, freak or not. They are part of the fabric of town, like Eddie never will be.

Gareth sassing him on Eddie's behalf is enough to not make Eddie feel so fucking kicked while he's down, and Eddie smiles as he hands over Steve Harrington's money. Knowing if the old coot knew that, he'd shit bricks.

Back at Harrington's house, Eddie pulls the small bundle out of the sack. It's stupid. He's aware it's stupid. But it gives him a chance, so he's gonna do it. 

"Is that mistletoe?" Steve asks.

"Yeah, funny, right?" 

"For sure, I wonder what weird pairings of people we can lure under there?"

There's only one weird pairing Eddie cares about, and they are both standing right here, right now.

"I don't know, but I'm sure Gareth would appreciate being set up under here with someone cute."

Eddie drags over one of the dining room chairs, and makes sure he takes off his shoes so Mrs. Harrington doesn't see shoeprints if she ever comes home.

"You got a pushpin?" Eddie asks, and Steve disappears to find one. When he turns back up, Eddie loops the ribbon through, and stands on his tiptoes.

He can't quite reach. Fucking vaulted ceilings in rich people houses.

Steve laughs, "Let me get the step ladder." 

Eddie stands there looking at the door frame.

Steve climbs the ladder, and takes the mistletoe from Eddie's hand. And Eddie watches as Steve stretches upwards, pressing the sharp end of the tack into the wood. A sliver of his hairy belly showing as his sweater rides up.

The sweater is red, and looks so soft. Eddie wants to touch it. Touch him.

Steve lowers his arms and then they're just looking at each other.

Steve breaks their eye contact, and comes down one step, readjusting his shirt.

Then they're eye-to-eye again, and Eddie swallows. Shit.

"Well, huh, would you look at that?" Steve says, so fucking smooth that Eddie misses his meaning.

"Look at what?" Eddie asks, because all he can look at is Steve.

"We're standing under mistletoe. Wonder how that got there?"

And then Steve's leaning forward, using his smooth fucking lines on Eddie, and all Eddie can think is that he really shouldn't be doing this off the ground. He's liable to fall and crack open his skull.

But Steve slides his arm over Eddie's shoulder, moving to both pull him closer and keep him secure, as Steve's lips press against Eddie's.

Holy shit.

Eddie kisses back, and hopes that this isn't just Steve being silly. Hoping that maybe this was a mutual good excuse to get this ball rolling.

The moment Steve's tongue touches Eddie's, he knows it isn't a joke.

It's inevitable.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun! 🌿

[hgfictionwriter]

First Impressions: Part two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Okay, so maybe Jessie isn't as shallow or one-dimensional as you thought. You decided to give her a chance, but first impressions and long-standing reputations can be hard to simply forget about. Can you let your insecurities go and can she prove that she's serious about you?

Warnings: Smut. Edging. Cunnilingus. Fingering. Language.

A/N: Part two! The rehabilitation of Player Jessie lol. It's a bit long, but there is smut, I swear.

“Hey Beautiful. How’s your day going?”

You glanced up from your phone and bit back a smile. You idly glanced around the library, clearing your throat before resettling on your phone and typing out a reply.

“Texting me when you’re on the road? You must be bored.”

“Day’s going well. Just at the library right now.”

“What? Without me?! I feel betrayed jk”

“I’m not bored. Just missing my study buddy turned…girlfriend?”

Your posture straightened and your eyes narrowed as you read her message.

“Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

"Yeah?"

"Lol why the question mark! You're either asking me out or you're not."

"I am."

"Wow."

"What?! What was wrong with that? Lol. I thought it was smooth."

"Your inexperience is showing, Fleming."

“Well that’s a first.”

You rolled your eyes. When you glanced back down you saw she was typing.

“You said you didn’t want casual. And we've had some great dates. And I don't want to seem too over-confident, but I think I've coaxed you along from tolerating me to perhaps even enjoying my company. Periodically lol. So, I’m just following through.”

You bit your lip and your cheeks ached from holding back a full blown smile. Your head buzzed as you reread her message.

If there was a theme in your dynamic, it was that you had to give a hard time. Even in this situation.

"Enjoying your company? Let's not get carried away, now. I mean, just because we text all day, have hot make-out sessions, say sweet, romantic things to each other and it took us an hour and a half to say 'goodnight' yesterday, doesn't mean anything. So presumptuous of you."

"Ugh. You're right. I've misread the signs. My bad."

"But seriously - you haven't answered. And I'm actually getting nervous. Come on, Y/L/N. You'll either be my girlfriend or you won't 😛"

You smirked. You appreciated how easily you two bantered and this was no exception.

A few weeks had passed since that night in the hallway. Things escalated quickly, honestly. Suddenly there was this emotional intimacy that was rapidly evolving between you two and it just felt so natural. And Jessie, despite everything you would've originally expected, had been sweet, authentic, and steady.

The opportunity to step away and stop yourself from catching feelings was long over. Dangerous territory? You were in the thick of it. If you were going to turn back, now was the time.

"Yes. I'll be your girlfriend."

"That just 1000% made my day. My week. Month. More!"

You rubbed your face in elated disbelief and typed out a reply.

"Well. If you keep it up, my feelings for you might progress from tolerating, to enjoying to...who knows."

"Shit. I honest to God want to turn around and come back. And I never want to miss camps."

"I seriously miss you."

Giddy. You felt fucking giddy and you couldn't believe it.

"I miss you too. Which is fucking crazy since I saw you less than 24 hours ago."

"Tell me about it lol."

"I'll be here when you get back."

“Better be lol. And until then. Don’t let some other nerdy athlete charm you.”

You audibly laughed, cutting it short as it sounded through the quiet space.

“Yeah. And you keep your little fan club at bay while you’re away, okay?”

“Easy. I’ll text you after we're done for the day, okay? Happy studying!”

You couldn’t believe what was going on. It was so unexpected that you still had to remind yourself of the events that took place to get here. It was the only way to reconcile the fact that you were sitting here texting with Jessie Fleming. Flirting with Jessie Fleming. Dating Jessie Fleming. Someone who was Bad News; the type to break your heart and leave you longing.

Yet, someone who you - maybe - had all wrong.

Someone you, in fact, very much, were swooning over.

-------

You were reading the slide on screen and listening to the professor when suddenly Jessie nudged you with her elbow.

She had her eyes trained forward but shifted her laptop, angling it towards you. A smirk began to tug at the corner of her mouth and she gave you a brief, cursory glance. You looked down at her screen to see she'd selected some text in her notes.

"You look amazing. Stop distracting me."

You nearly blew a raspberry, managing to suppress it into a vague scoff. You rolled your eyes as you faced forward once more, but felt a blush burning on your cheeks. You glanced back at her to see her smiling widely at you now. She returned her attention to her laptop and typed out a new sentence.

"You know you're beautiful. You don't need to be shy about it."

You shook your head affectionately and typed out a reply before turning your screen slightly towards her. Your posture stiffened as she placed a hand on the edge of your seat to lean in to read.

"You're out of control. And who's distracting who here, huh? lol"

She retracted her hand to start typing and you missed it immediately. When she was done typing you leaned over, placing a hand directly on her thigh as you read the message.

"You are distracting me. You = distracting and gorgeous."

You silently snickered with another shake of your head.

"Omfg. You're ridiculous."

She glanced down at your hand purposefully.

"Especially now."

You gave her a look somewhere between chiding and teasing. She shot you another smirk and typed further.

"Don't get me wrong. I like it."

"Care to go on a little adventure with me after class?"

You weren't going to say 'no'. She knew it. You knew it. And sure enough, after class she led you by the hand to another building across campus until you were in an abandoned stairwell. You assumed you were going to continue on elsewhere, but learned otherwise when she gently pushed you against the wall with a charming smile and a slow kiss.

You giggled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around the back of her shoulders.

"You take me to the nicest places," you teased.

"Both our roommates are in, so privacy is a tough commodity to come by," she replied with a chuckle as she began to kiss her way down your neck. It took every effort not to gasp. "You look gorgeous all the time, but I especially love when you wear your hair up. I couldn't stop staring at your neck - all I could think about was kissing it."

Goosebumps erupted across your skin as her warm breath caressed you, her lips explored and you could feel just the slightest, teasing touch of her tongue on your neck.

While the emotional barriers you'd tried to put up had proven entirely fruitless and ineffective, you'd done a much better job of withholding physical boundaries.

Given your concerns going into this relationship, you'd told yourself that you wanted to very strongly establish an emotional foundation with Jessie before being physically intimate. So even though you would've probably already slept with someone by this point, and Jessie most certainly would've too, you'd never allowed the two of you to go further than a heavy and hot make-out session.

You wanted her to work for it. To earn it. And to your surprise, she didn't seem deterred in the least. She'd been respectful and patient. Well, mostly patient. You knew she was raring to go, but any time you pumped the brakes she backed off.

Your hands were running through her hair and you two were - consciously or not - rocking your hips against one another's as she kissed and lightly sucked on your neck and her hands began to inch under your top. Your core was throbbing with need already.

"What if someone comes by?" You managed to say, eyes falling shut at the sensations she was sending through your body.

"No one ever comes here. Don't worry," she responded easily.

Your eyes fluttered opened, a frown slowly forming across your forehead. The lightness and excitement that had been coursing through your veins a moment before was immediately replaced with a heavy pit in your stomach.

You pulled back, slowly dropping your hands away from her head to her waist and pushing gently. She extended her neck, working to keep her lips in contact with your neck before eventually relenting with a confused look and allowing herself to be pushed back.

"I should probably go," you said, tone admittedly a bit flat as you failed to hold eye contact with her while you smoothed out your clothes.

"Wh-huh?" She asked, blatantly puzzled by your change in demeanor. "What's wrong?"

You shook your head subtly and began to walk away. You were deeply tempted to not reply at all or to just deflect, but instead you replied with, "Look. I'm not going to be just some other girl you fuck in a stairwell between classes, okay?"

You had your back to her and were pushing the door open so you missed whatever physical reaction she had, but her perturbed, "Are you serious right now?" rang loud in your ears.

You continued to walk outside, her footsteps close behind you and you turned around folding your arms against yourself.

"Yeah. I am," you told her almost wearily. You could see the frustration on her face and she laughed in disbelief.

"What," you challenged. "Are you going to tell me you haven't brought other girls here? Made out with them there? Fucked them even?"

Despite her irritation, she averted her gaze, scoffing lightly and eventually offering an exaggerated shrug.

"And if I did?"

You shook your head, turning away slightly with a huff. She gave an empty laugh.

"Would you rather I lie? 'No, baby, you're the only one ever!'" She finished mockingly.

"What the fuck, Jess," you retorted, voice rising slightly as you narrowed your eyes at her. "You don't need to be an asshole about it." Your face felt hot with anger, but suddenly it shifted and you knew if you weren't careful you were going to start crying. "I just don't want to be treated the same as all the others." You scowled, pushing back further emotion, "If what you say is true and things are different with me."

She exhaled heavily, dropping her gaze and stretching out her fingers and opening her palms as a way to calm herself. She took a breath and lifted her head to meet your eyes once more, still speaking tersely, but calmer than you'd been.

"That's why I'm frustrated," she said. "You are very different and I feel very different about you. For you. And I do treat you differently! Do you think I was texting those girls all day? Telling them I miss them. Planning dates. Telling them all my hopes and fears; asking them about theirs? Bringing them to hang out with my friends? And I sure as shit didn't ask them to be my girlfriend."

A wave of guilt rushed over you. Okay, maybe you were still making a sweeping generalization, but you still felt the way you did.

"I'm sorry," you relented slightly, but went on. "I see what you're saying. And I'm trying. But I still can't help it sometimes. I-I don't know. I know you're not who I originally thought you were. But I guess a part of me is still scared. I," you paused, words getting caught in your throat, "I really like you, Jess. And - moments like this make me terrified that I'm just going to get left behind like one of your other girls."

Jessie sighed quietly, dropping her gaze once more as she kicked distractedly at the sidewalk. When she looked back up her eyes were sad, but you could still see the warmth behind them.

"I don't know what to do," she said helplessly. "I can't change the past. I want you to feel confident in us. In me. But I can't undo anything from before. I'm trying to be clear and direct about how important you are to me. I really like you too, and I just wish I knew how to get you to trust me."

You exhaled, your own frustration at your feelings seeping in. "It's not that I don't trust you. I mean, I guess that's hard to believe, but that's really not what's going on," you insisted. "And I understand that you can't change anything from the past. And you shouldn't have to. That's just something I need to get over. It's really just...I don't want to be the same as the other girls."

She watched you quietly as she contemplated. She took a couple of steps towards you, closing the gap and tentatively taking your hands in hers.

"I promise you you're not. And I understand that my reputation has made trust a bit more difficult. But, I really, really need you to know that this - and you - are special to me." She nodded as she continued. "You're right - I probably shouldn't have brought you to the same spot I brought other girls. Especially given," she looked away briefly, "what I'd do with them there. I can see now that was not the wisest. I really wasn't thinking that way - I just wanted to be alone with you and knew we could be there."

You sighed softly and removed your hands from hers to wrap them around her back, pulling her into a hug. She squeezed you tightly and kissed the side of your head.

"Thank you. I know you didn't mean anything negative. I just...I got in my head. But, yeah, if you can try to be more mindful of things like that, I'll work on not reacting so impulsively."

"Deal," she chuckled. She pulled back enough for you to see the way she cocked an eyebrow at you playfully. You weren't sure where she was going with this, but you were grateful for the sudden levity and the forgiveness it implied. "And for the record, it's not just all sunshine and rainbows on my end either, you know." She smirked at you and continued.

"Despite my bravado, there's a certain level of insecurity that comes with having the history I do and now meeting this incredible woman and wanting something serious and long-term with her. A no-strings-attached lifestyle is easy breezy - you don't get invested and you don't get hurt. But with you? I don't want to disappoint you. And you can definitely hurt me. I'm not used to that."

You searched her face as she finished speaking and warmth radiated throughout your chest. You kissed her and another wave of affection rushed through you as she squeezed you securely against her.

"I didn't mean to disrespect you at all. I'm really sorry," she said quietly as your kiss ended and she tucked her head against yours.

You pulled back to look at her. Her dark eyes were soft and shimmering and you laid a single kiss on her lips.

"Come with me," you said as you took her by the hand and led her back to the stairwell. You bit back a laugh at the curious smirk on her face as she allowed you to maneuver her against the wall. You smiled as her eyes slowly fell shut as you leaned in to kiss her.

"Guess this means you aren't too mad at me?" She muttered jokingly into the kiss. A crooked grin crossed your lips as you gently grasped her chin and had her meet your gaze.

"You're forgiven," you said with teasing benevolence before arching an eyebrow. "But don't push your luck." She chuckled and shook her head with a smile.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

You grinned as you engaged her a deep, slow kiss, this time your hands sneaking under her shirt and splaying out across her abs. A spark of satisfaction flared and you had to hold back a fuller smile as you felt her breath hitch and the faintest moan escaped her throat.

"I like you so much," you whispered as you began to trail kisses down her neck, noting the way her fingers dug into your waist.

"I like you a lot too," she said with a breathy laugh. You fought back a grin as you pressed your thigh between hers and ground up into her.

"Oh shit," she said, still breathless, another laugh in awe. You got the impression the tables weren't typically turned on her like this. You continued, your hand now toying with the button on her pants. She let out another soft moan. "Fuck, you're getting me so hot."

You smiled smugly as you nipped at her neck.

"Good," you said simply as you pulled back entirely, breaking off all contact and loving how her hands stretched out to follow you and only falling away as you stepped out of reach.

You saw the tiniest, cutest frown form across her forehead as her eyes fluttered open in confusion.

"Call me later?" You asked sweetly with a flirtatious shrug, already turning on your heel and heading for the door.

"Wait, what?" She called after you, her confusion evident in her voice.

You stepped through the door, but turned back to give her an innocent smile. She stared after you like a lost puppy. "We're even now. Call me later, baby."

She belatedly opened her mouth to speak, but you simply blew her a kiss and let the door fall shut.

And call you she did. In fact, when you woke up the next morning you had a text from her in the middle of the night.

"I can't even sleep because I'm still thinking about the stairwell. Nobody's ever made me feel like this. I feel like I'm drunk on you lol. I know that's stupid. But. I can't stop thinking about you."

-----------

You slung your bag over your shoulder and scrolled through your phone as you began to exit your class. You walked head down into the masses of students until someone brushed against your arm and fell into step with you.

"How was class?"

You frowned, puzzled momentarily until your brain caught up and a smile crossed your face at who it was.

"Well hello," you greeted as you gently pushed your shoulder into her, jostling her.

"Hey baby," she greeted with a winning smile as she held out a coffee for you.

"Now this is service," you teased as you took it.

"Only the best for my girl," she said with a wink.

"Is your class cancelled or something?" You asked, knowing her next class was in an entirely different building across campus.

"No, but my last one got out early. Thought I'd surprise you with a coffee," she said, obviously very pleased with herself.

"You're the sweetest," you said as you leaned over mid-step to kiss her cheek. She smiled.

"Don't tell anyone."

You rolled your eyes fondly. "Yeah, everyone thinks you're such a jerk."

"You did," she quipped.

"I didn't think you were a jerk," you responded haughtily. "Just a thoughtless womanizer," you chuckled.

"Oh, well thank you for clarifying," she replied dryly with an eye roll of her own as she laced her fingers with yours. "Well now that you know I'm not a total deviant, want to come out for drinks tonight? Mia's back so we're all getting together."

"Sure," you responded lightly as you gave her hand a squeeze.

"Okay, great," she said before leaning over and kissing your cheek before stepping away, walking backwards towards another hall. "See you tonight." She gave you another wink. "Don't miss me too much until then."

That evening you were in a crowded dorm room, solo cup in hand, the bass of some song underlining conversations throughout the space. Mia stood across from you.

"Glad I got a chance to chat with you more. I knew I had to get to know you better because you have got our girl swooning," she teased with a smirk.

"Oh my gosh, not at all," you dismissed though you averted your gaze and felt a blush coming on. Mia laughed heartily and cocked an eyebrow.

"No, no. I've never seen Jess like this before. She used to make fun of other girls for being all lovesick, but now she's even worse than them. Though don't tell her that," she laughed, "she thinks she's being all nonchalant and cool about it."

Your head buzzed with excitement over Mia's words. The extra validation cemented your growing confidence in how significant this connection really was to Jessie. You couldn't help but direct your gaze away from Mia in search of the girl in question. You caught her eye across the room and flashed a smile with a quick wink. You watched as she excused herself from her conversation and began to weave through the crowd.

"Hey, you good?" She asked quietly as she approached, laying a hand on your arm as she kissed your temple. You gave her a quiet smile, holding her gaze.

"Yeah, I'm good."

You didn't think you held her eye contact that long, but your attention and Jessie's was drawn towards Mia as she laughed. She shook her head in amusement.

"Okay, later lovebirds," she deadpanned as she held up her drink in a 'cheers' and walked away.

"I trust Mia was treating you well?" Jessie asked as her eyes followed Mia momentarily while chuckling.

"Of course," you replied with a cheeky grin. "She took great care of me."

"Hopefully not too great," she teased. Your jaw dropped, scandalized though you laughed.

"You're not serious. You. Jessie Fleming. Get jealous?" You asked, eyes bright with amusement as you felt a fluttering in your stomach.

Jessie made a face and laughed, though you could easily see the way her cheeks grew flush. She eventually shrugged.

"Hey, what can I say? I know my teammates are awesome and you're an incredible girl, you can have your pick."

You rolled your eyes. "You're being silly," you said as you gave her an affectionate smile. She held up her hands with charming smirk.

"Just saying. I'm not taking what we have for granted. You don't have to pick me."

You 'tsked' her, arms folded. "Well. I do," you replied, shoulder back and head held high. "So you can relax."

Jessie leaned in, placing a hand on your waist as she kissed your cheek. Her breath tickled your skin. "Well, consider me beyond pleased."

You held her gaze again. Suddenly, there were too many people around. You were overwhelmed with a need to be close to her. Alone with her.

"How's your night going?" You asked, spurring a curious frown from her.

"Fine? Good?" She answered with a soft laugh. "Yours?"

You shrugged lightly. "Nice." You cocked your head as you glanced away purposefully. "Could be better."

"Oh?" She asked. "How so?

You reached out and smoothed out the shoulder of her shirt before playing with the collar.

"It's just starting to feel a little crowded in here," you said with flippant lament. You sighed quietly, but in exaggeration as she processed your words. She cracked a smile.

"Yeah? Is that so?" She asked, chin tilting up slightly as she studied you. She glanced towards the door. "I mean, we could always go."

"Oh I wouldn't want to force you to leave," you relayed sweetly and she gave you a wicked grin.

"Yeah, you're really forcing my hand here," she said flatly. You looked her up and down with a smirk of your own.

"I can find some other things for your hand to do."

Her eyes grew wide for a moment and her mouth fell open at your brazen comment. She eventually closed her mouth, now giving you a less than subtle once over.

"It's not nice to tease," she warned.

"Who's teasing?" You asked innocently while locking eyes with her.

She puffed her cheeks out in an exhale, gaze flitting across the room with an appreciative shake of her head that left you holding back a smug smile. She reached out to lace her fingers with yours, her thumb teasing the palm of your hand.

"Well, are you going to let me take you home or what?" She whispered. You raised both eyebrows at her and clicked your tongue.

"I believe you'll be coming home with me," you retorted playfully. "If anyone's going to be burdened with the walk of shame, it's going to be you." You shrugged. "This time anyway."

She laughed, loud enough that it even attracted the attention of couple of people in adjacent conversations. She sniffed with a residual chuckle and nodded. "Sure. I'll shoulder that responsibility."

On the walk to your building she asked if you should stop at her room to grab, any, you know, supplies. You didn't break your pace at all and simply responded with, "No. I want you now."

She grinned like a Cheshire cat, placing a hand on the small of your back and increased her strides, pulling you along too. "Well then let's not waste any more time."

You'd texted your roommate on the way back and was grateful to see she'd vacated the premises by the time you stepped inside. You'd given her space many times, so it was her turn to return the favour.

You'd barely closed the door when a lighthearted yelp escaped your throat as Jessie spun you around and lifted you off the ground, pressing your back against the door. Her lips immediately latched onto your neck as your arms and legs wrapped around her.

"Fuck, you have no idea how much I've wanted you," she breathed into your neck as she nipped and sucked at the skin there harder than she'd ever done before and it immediately had your core pulsing.

Something between a gasp and a moan left your mouth as you ran one hand through her hair, pressing her mouth further against your neck and she moaned into you while digging her fingers harder into the underside of your thighs.

Both of you were too hungry to take your time, so it wasn't long before she carried you to the bed, lips still locked as she laid you down.

Your hands were under her shirt and she chuckled as she sat up and took it off, tossing it carelessly to the floor.

"Now you," she said with a lustful grin as her hands wandered below your shirt and pushed it upwards. You arched your back off the bed and she reached around to help support you while she peeled your shirt off with her other hand. She was still discarding the garment when she leaned down to begin laying teasing kisses down your chest to your bra. Her hand was on the clasp of your bra and you chuckled as she unclasped it with ease, drawing the straps down off of your shoulders with her teeth.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," she said in awe as she sat back again to take in your half-naked image in the dim of the room.

A small cry left your lips as she dipped her head back down and drew one of your nipples into her mouth, her teeth grazing as she released it before latching on again and swirling her tongue around the hardened nipple. You set both hands on the back of her head, fingers partially digging into her scalp in appreciation as she attentively explored you.

She switched nipples and her hand caressed up the outside of your thigh and grabbed your ass through your jeans, kneading firmly and hungrily as she moaned into your breast.

You grasped her other hand and guided it between your bodies, your own hand undoing the button of your jeans.

“You’re sure?” She asked, pausing despite your invitation. You rolled your hips up into her waiting hand and continued to guide her.

She took over, unzipping and pushing her hand down towards your core. Her fingers pressed firmly across your folds through the fabric of your underwear. Your jaw fell as her fingers indirectly grazed your clit.

She moaned. "I can already feel how wet you are," she said in wonder and her tone assured you she was more than pleased by this.

She pushed your panties aside, her fingers caressing through your slick folds for the first time and you immediately groaned in pleasure and rolled your hips up into her eager hand.

"You feel so fucking amazing already," she said, head lolling to the side momentarily before she began kissing her way down your torso. You tried not to whine as she removed her hand long enough to remove your jeans.

"You're going to get sick of me telling you how gorgeous you are," she said as she nipped at your underwear, tugging them down teasingly with her teeth. She hooked her fingers into the band but you stopped her temporarily.

"I want your clothes off, too," you told her in a way that left no room for debate. She snickered before pushing herself up off of you and shimmying off her clothes.

"Anything for you," she joked as she returned her attention to you, her lips laying fleeting kisses along the crease between your thighs and core. You heard her chuckle as your legs grew restless, rubbing against the sheets. She reached up and rubbed teasing circles around your nub through your panties.

"Please," you said simply.

"Please what?" She asked innocently and you could hear the smile in her voice before her tongue made contact with your skin, eliciting a gasp out of you.

You writhed beneath her. Even though this was brand new territory for you two, you felt safe expressing yourself.

"I need you," you answered, trusting that it would be well received and not feeling embarrassed or self-conscious in your saying so.

You heard a satisfied grunt from her and you drew your legs back eager to help her remove your panties. You bit your lower lip at the tender kiss she planted on your hip bone.

She began to kiss her way down your mound and although you really just wanted her to fuck you, to feel her fingers inside of you, you figured you'd waited this long, might as well let her set the pace.

Her lips brushed along your folds as she settled herself between your legs and that was enough to send a pulse through your core, but you absolutely throbbed as her fingers dug into the tops of your thighs and she pulled herself closer with an eager moan.

You were honestly contemplating begging her to not tease you any longer when her tongue began to trail up and down between your folds, your back bucking off the bed at the sudden sensations coursing through you.

You heard a muffled laugh from between your legs but before you could protest she began lapping up juices that were surely dripping from your core. Despite your intentions your back arched once more and you gripped the sheets tightly in her hands.

"Don't worry, baby," she said, "I'll take good care of you."

You fleetingly considered scolding her for her bravado, but she flicked her tongue upwards and over your clit before latching onto it with her mouth and sucking in a rhythm that urged your hips to roll up into her face further.

You could feel her smiling into you and she was entirely undeterred by your bucking and moving, confidently and easily keeping her mouth centered on you wherever your body took you.

She sucked, licked, and nipped at you in such a skilled way you'd never experienced before. You'd thought you'd had good sex before; evidently you were wrong.

To top it off, the way she moaned and chased you up the bed with a blatant hunger made you feel wanted and desired in a way you'd never felt before either. The way she devoured you, muffled moans sending pleasurable vibrations through your core, head rocking into you and lapping at you as though you were the most delicious thing she'd had made you feel like she'd never wanted anything more.

And when she reached out and laced her fingers of one hand with yours? Your heart melted.

It was blissful in so many ways.

You hadn't even realized she'd removed her other hand from your thigh when you felt her tease your entrance with a finger. A shuddering moan fell from your lips as she gently dipped a digit inside. You threw your head back into the mattress, back arching all over again as she began slipping a second finger inside, stretching you out deliciously as she continued to flick her tongue across your clit.

Her fingers felt just as good inside of you as you'd imagined and before you knew it she was curling her fingers up against your g-spot. You let out a low moan and your hips began rocking against her with greater fervour. She gave your hand a squeeze and you just held on for dear life, clutching her hand as if it was the only anchor holding you here. You reached down with your free hand and gripped her hair, pulling another pleased noise from her.

The pressure building between your core reached a tipping point. You don't even know how many strokes she'd taken - not many at all - when your cries and whimpers got caught in your throat, mouth drawn into a silent 'o' as your hips began to jerk against her as the tension deep inside of you burst. Your sounds eventually caught up with you as several seconds later you finally mustered a cry as you were already well soaking her face.

She stayed with you the whole time, continuing to help you ride out your orgasm and slowing her motions as you gradually came down.

As you fell back into the bed, your limbs and entire body felt so heavy. It's not like you two had been at it for all that long, but you felt so spent. Even as she began to tenderly kiss her way up your body, you couldn't muster up the energy to caress or hold her. You couldn't even open your eyes.

"You are so incredibly beautiful," she whispered into your ear as she settled herself against you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close.

You still couldn't make a noise or embrace her, you simply let her pull you against her.

"You're incredible. And that was so amazing. I-," she paused. "You're so sexy. All of that is going to be engrained in my mind for a long, long time."

You let your head fall to the side and against hers. She chuckled and kissed your forehead and you became aware of how she was gently thumbing your shoulder as she held you.

"Fuck," you eventually said. You heard her hold back a laugh and you finally opened your eyes to look at her. Her eyes were bright and shimmering as she looked down at you. A lazy, crooked smile crossed your lips as you reached up and pushed her face away playfully. "You are way too pleased with yourself right now," you laughed.

"I'm not!" She protested though she laughed. "I'm just- I'm really happy," she eventually said.

"Yeah?" You chuckled as you pulled her closer and she gladly obliged. You tucked your head under her chin. "Well that makes two of us," you laughed and she kissed the top of your head. You sighed contentedly. "Well now I know what all the fuss is about."

Your eyes opened as you felt her stiffen slightly. She shifted, clearing her throat quietly.

"Hey," was all she said, probably meant to be teasing or warning, but sounding sad instead.

You pulled back to look at her. It was true, the bright, warm smile she'd worn was now faint as she looked back at you. You kissed her softly.

"I'm sorry. I thought it was a funny joke. Not appropriate," you said.

"I just want it to be about us," she said quietly as her gaze fell as she drew small, distracted designs on your collarbone with her finger.

"I know," you agreed in the same tone as you placed a hand on hers and caressed the back of it with your thumb. She kissed your cheek. "Me too. I just - you're good. Extraordinarily good. And, well, the fact fleeting crosses my mind that, you know, how do you get so good? Well, practice makes perfect. So..."

Jessie huffed inaudibly, but you felt the air tickle your skin.

"I know we talked about this," you rushed on. "And I'm not upset. Honestly." You chuckled, hoping to lighten things. "I mean, I'm reaping the benefits here." She cracked a faint smirk, but not exactly what you hoped to see. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's okay," she relented as she kissed your cheek once more with a soft sigh. "Just as long as you know you're the only one I want."

You nodded, but she must not have been convinced because she carried on.

"Because, if it was anyone else, I would've been down the stairs and out of the building by now. And," she punctuated, "-not that I should say anything- but, I typically don't get undressed. I'm not looking for intimacy or anything like that. But, I want that with you."

You held a hand up to her cheek and ran your thumb softly against her cheekbone.

"And? Do you have that with me?"

She nodded, leaning her head into your palm.

"Yeah. And it's," she trailed off, her gaze falling briefly as she smirked at herself. She looked up at you again. "It's really great."

You held her gaze and inhaled. Your head was swimming with all sorts of thoughts and feelings. A particular set of words sat on the tip of your tongue. She must've noticed.

"What?" She asked with a tender smile. You considered dismissing it, but instead you just gave a gentle shake of your head.

"I'm falling very hard for you, Jessie Fleming."

Her eyes lit up and you watched as she searched yours. In this moment, this woman who was all charm and confidence looked exceedingly vulnerable.

"That's not funny to joke about," she eventually said with a forced smirk and a single, faint laugh.

"Who says I'm joking?" You asked with a soft laugh.

Realization settled in her and she shifted so she was slightly more on top of you.

"Don't joke," she repeated. You held her gaze, laughing quietly again.

"I'm not."

She rolled you fully onto your back again so she was on top of you. Her knee nudged your legs apart and it any other reality you would've been embarrassed at how your core immediately throbbed.

She looked down at you, eyes different than any way you'd seen them before. Darker somehow. But it didn't scare you. It made you want her more.

"You're everything I wanted," she said. "And I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that first day in class." She subtly began to rock against you and your hands began to wander along her back.

"Everybody told me what this was supposed to feel like, but it just never clicked for me before. At all. But," she took a short, stuttered breath as she continued to grind against you and her hand began to travel down your torso. "You have me. You're on my mind all the time. Any time I'm away from you, I'm just reliving past conversations and moment or dreaming up new ones."

She shook her head in mild disbelief. "I've never felt this way," she said as her hand settled between your legs. You were certain there was no way she couldn't feel the heat radiating off of you. And somehow, with every declaration from her you grew wetter and wetter.

"Me neither," you told her. She smiled and ran two fingers through your folds to then tease your entrance - immediately confirming how wet you were - her eyes lit up and her smile turned into a grin.

"You are so gorgeous. And so fucking amazing," she told you in reverie.

Your exhale was unsteady as your center throbbed in want. "Jess," you said; panted even. "I need you."

A sharp gasp escaped you as she slowly sunk two fingers inside of you. Your fingers dug into her skin at how amazing it felt to be filled up by her again. When you opened your eyes once more she was still watching you intently.

"You feel so fucking good," she said, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Mm," she glanced down, slowly drawing her fingers out until they rest at your entrance before pushing in again more swiftly. "So fucking tight."

"Jesus Christ," you said as your hands came to her arms and you clutched them while your head rolled back into the pillow.

"I want you cumming all over my fingers," she told you with quiet assuredness. "Not just tonight. Any and every fucking night you'll let me," she said as she tucked her head down and began to kiss your neck, drawing a shuddering whimper out of you.

"Oh Jess," you moaned as your hips ground into her waiting hand. A shiver ran through you as she breathed against your neck and nipped at you.

"My name sounds so good coming out of your mouth," she praised.

If you had any kind of witty quip, it was immediately extinguished as she began to pump fully and steadily in and out of your hot, wet tunnel. A heady moan worked its way up your throat as she curled her fingers inside of you like earlier, each stroke sending a pulse through you.

You wrapped your legs around her and she began to thrust into you, using her hips to push her fingers deeper and harder into you.

"You look so good underneath me. You're so beautiful," she said as she continued to fuck you and it wasn't long until you could feel your wetness dripping down you and onto the sheets.

You were never overly vocal in bed, especially given the dorm situation and neighbours. But the way her thumb teased your clit and the way her fingers filled you with each stroke, your voice resounded off of the walls of your dorm.

Soon you could feel your core tightening much as it did earlier. You clenched around her fingers as she panted above you. You didn't need to tell her you were close; she fucked you steadily, carrying you over the threshold. Your whole body stiffened, fingers digging sharply into her skin as she groaned in response as you began to convulse around her fingers.

"God, you are so gorgeous cumming in my arms like this," she declared as she continued to pump in and out of you, slowing only when you began to grow slack in her embrace.

"Holy fuck," you eventually panted. She was laying slow, tender kisses along your shoulder as she waited you out.

"Your roommate's not coming back tonight, is she?" She asked.

"No," you said and she cracked a salacious grin.

"Good."

-------

The next morning you awoke. You inadvertently groaned as you shifted. Your body was exhausted. The memories of last night flooded your mind and you glanced over only to see the space next to you unoccupied.

You sat up immediately and your eyes scanned the room for any evidence of Jessie. Her shoes were gone, her clothes. You sat up further as your heart began to thump loudly in your chest and confusion settled over you.

You shook your head with a frown. No. This didn't make sense. Not after everything.

You reached over to grab your phone. As you did, you spied a sticky note on your bedside table.

"I'm a morning person. What can I say! I'm getting us coffee and croissants. I'll be back soon. - J"

The lump in your throat immediately subsided and you released a breath you hadn't known you were holding. You opened your phone to see a text from her as well.

"Just in case you missed the note. I'm getting coffee and croissants. Be back soon, Beautiful."

You laid back on the bed, pulling the sheets up with you and letting out another sigh as your body relaxed once more.

Okay. This made much more sense. It wasn't all a lie.

A short while later you heard the door handle turn and the door was tentatively pushed open a crack. You found yourself smiling immediately as she tip-toed in, her straightening and smiling fully when she saw you were awake.

"Good morning," she greeted as she approached with said coffee and baked goods in hand.

"You're lucky, Fleming," you teased as you rolled onto your side as she set everything down. "I was about to lose it until I saw your note."

Jessie gave you a teasing look as she sat down on the edge of the bed. She spoke, unbothered, "Waking up next to a beautiful woman who I think is amazing? Yeah, I am lucky."

You chuckled as she kissed your forehead. "Well, I didn't get that luxury. Just a cold and lonely bed," you teased.

"I get antsy once I'm up. I didn't want to wake you," she explained. You pulled her in for a kiss.

"Fine. I forgive you."

Jessie smiled, returning your kiss. "Thank you. And, mmm, morning breath."

"Oh my God," you gasped, mortified as you swatted at her, only causing her to laugh. She leaned back in, pushing you down onto the bed with a kiss.

"Hey, I don't mind. I want you, morning breath and all," she chuckled.

"You better," you grumbled good-naturedly as she continued to kiss you. Her hand began to wander and you knew very well what she'd find.

"Mm, and it seems like you want me, too," she grinned. You chuckled, but rolled your hips into her hand.

"Coffee's not the only way to wake me up."

[beesspacedotorg]

Honeysuckle, Honey Boy, Honey Sweet

Summary: You take care of your Beta during his rut, and he's sweet as can be.

Warning: OMEGAVERSE !!!1!!1! sex. gender neutral reader. nothing too crazy for this one. hyune is sweet and subby because this is my house I make the rules. you don't have to read Dibs or Third Leg to understand what's going on, but it would make me happy. special thanks to ems for reading this and letting me know if it was bars. and for letting me steal the honey boy nickname

notes: hello adoring public. this is the third part of the dibsverse. this is what happens when you're insane. I had intended to post this in March and then forgot. Oopsie. I hope you enjoy it and have fun reading it the way I had fun imagining Hwang Hyunjin sweaty and naked.

You love your Hyunjin, your honey boy. That’s how you refer to him in your head, as yours. In all reality, you share him with the pack, but he holds a special place in your heart. He found you first, he kissed you first, he was your first in this pack for many things. You two are laying together, curled up on his bed watching some Business Proposal for what feels like the hundredth time.

“He looks a little like Seungmin,” is what you say and he rolls his eyes.

“You say that every time.”

“It’s not my fault. He does. Also, the glasses thing is hot.” Hyunjin huffs at you.

“I wear glasses.” He sounds like he’s pouting. You turn your head to the side and see that he is.

“Are you … Hwang Hyunjin, are you jealous? Of Cha Sunghoon?” You pause the show. Hyunjin presses his palms into his eyes and sighs.

“No. Well. Maybe.” You frown at him, it’s not like him to be jealous. He’s so full of love for everyone and everything, and you know that the pack would bend over backwards to make sure he feels cared for so this has to be something specific.

“Hyunnie. What’s wrong?”

“I think my cycle is going to start soon.” You hum at him.

“What’s it feel like?” Hyunjin is a Beta, so while his cycles may be mild, he’s subjected to either heats or ruts depending on who he’s around. Your pack has a considerable amount of Omegas, and you know that Changbin’s cycle throws him all over the place depending on who he spends more time around during that period, but you aren’t sure how Hyunjin’s works. The two of you have been together for a while, but his cycle is slower than most, so he hasn’t yet had anything.

“A rut, I think.” You hum again.

“Is that why you’re needlessly jealous over me thinking a fictional character is hot?”

“I’m not jealous-”

“You most certainly are.”

“Fine, I’m not jealous of Cha Sunghoon.”

“Better. Who are you jealous of then, baby?” He hides his face in a pillow and says something that you don’t hear.

“What?” You raise your voice a little, poking his side until he answers you.

“I’m jealous of Seungmin.” That makes you still.

“Seungminnie? What- why?” Hyunjin crosses his arms.

“You keep talking about how hot he is!”

“Well, what do you want me to do, be blind?”

“No, I just-” Hyunjin flops himself over in bed so he’s not facing you anymore, and you can tell from the way his sweet honeysuckle turns into rot that he’s not happy. You lay down beside him and wrap your arms around his back.

“Honey boy. What is it you want me to do?”

“Will you spend it with me?”

“Yeah, I will. Don’t worry.” You kiss the back of his neck, his long hair tickling your nose. “Anything for you, baby.”

-

Felix drapes himself along your back while you’re in the kitchen.

“Hi.”

“Hello, Yongbokkie. What’s up?”

“Hyunjinnie smells like he’s close.”

“Does he?” Your tone is tinged with sarcasm. Hyunjin hasn’t let you out of his sight for very long since you agreed, getting more and more possessive as it gets closer to the start of his cycle. You don’t mind, but you’re also more aware than anyone else how close he is, all things considered. Felix bites you in retaliation for your snark.

“Mean.”

“Captain obvious.”

“What are you doing in here? All by your lonesome.” Felix’s hands start wandering and you laugh a little at him.

“I was going to see if we had enough food, but it seems our Luna took care of that already. So, I’m making a snack instead.” Felix starts to slide his hands under your shirt, mouthing at your neck.

“That’s crazy. I could be your snack instead.” You burst into laughter, shaking him off a little.

“That’s the corniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, and Changbin took me on a date last week.” You hear a half-hearted yell from the living room that makes you snort.

“So… is that a no?” Felix’s hands are resting on your hips, and you feed him a bit of your snack when he hooks his chin over your shoulder.

“That is a no.” Felix huffs, letting go of you to throw a fake fit behind you.

Felix pretends to throw things around the kitchen, ranting about spoiled Omegas and how they don’t know how to please their Alphas anymore. Something you find extremely ironic, because Felix is an Omega. You’re in the middle of laughing at him when Hyunjin comes in, hair wet from his shower. He gives you a backhug, water droplets falling on you.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi, Hyunnie. How was your shower?”

“Would’ve been better if you were in it.” You hear Felix gag. Hyunjin flips him off.

“That’s what she said.” You can’t help yourself, giggling at your own joke. Hyunjin takes Felix’s place in your neck.

“Lee Felix Yongbok.” You hear Felix snicker.

“Yeah?” He’s wormed his way between you and the counter to stare Hyunjin in the eye. He’s also in the way of your snack.

“You’re doing this on purpose.”

“Doing what? I’m not doing anything.” Felix smiles, sweet and deceiving, before he wraps his arms around your waist and gets nose-to-nose with Hyunjin.

“I’m telling Channie hyung.” Felix shrugs. Hyunjin’s scent changes so something a little tangier and you can picture him squinting his eyes. “I’m telling Minho.” Felix pulls away almost immediately.

“Hyunjinnie, you’re so mean to me.”

“You’re riling me up on purpose!” Lavender hits your nose before Hyunjin is done speaking.

“Speak of the devil,” you mumble. Felix is still in the way of your snack.

“Yongbokkie,” you know that coo. Felix is fucked.

“Hi, hyung.”

“Are you teasing our Hyunjinnie?”

“I would never.”

“Liar,” Felix has finally moved away from your food. You shove some of it in your mouth when you snitch on him.

“Hey!” He says that, but he’s following where Minho is dragging him with little to no resistance.

“Send me pictures, please.”

“Perv.”

“Sky is blue, grass is green.” Hyunjin grumbles some more as the resident cats of the house leave the kitchen. You feed him.

“Do you want to go to my room, dove?” His voice is quiet, sleepy.

“Yeah. Let’s lay down, hmm?”

-

You like Hyunjin’s room. The walls are painted a calming shade of periwinkle and they’re decorated with pictures of the pack and paintings he made. His desk is covered in half finished sketchbooks and paints. If you look at his easel, there’s a half drawn portrait of you with a picture you don’t remember him taking attached to it.

He’s also in there, which is nice.

He’s woken you up from a nap, hips rutting against your ass and sweat dripping onto your skin.

“Hyune?” Your voice is crackly and groggy with sleep, you think you might have sweat through your shirt, and there’s a pillow crease on your cheek.

“Baby,” he lets out a whine and something in you cracks a little.

“Hey, hmm? What’s wrong?” You turn around to cup his cheeks, and he leans his head into them. You know what’s wrong, so the question is a little redundant, but you ask anyway. Not that it matters, because instead of answering he hikes your leg over his hip and grinds against you in a way that’s dirty and draws noises out of you that you know you’re going to get shit for later.

“Hyunjin, sweetheart, let’s get these off, yeah?” You move to pull away and his grip tightens on you in a way that’s almost painful, an arm coming up under your body to wrap around your waist. He lets out a short growl, and then his eyes widen at himself.

“Okay, yeah. That’s fine. We can stay like this.” His hips pick back up, and you know without a doubt that these sleep shorts and underwear are going straight in the trash when you’re done. Well, maybe not straight. Han Jisung and Lee Felix are freaks.

You let him rut against you messily, kissing his face and his mouth when you can. He’s stronger than he looks, and you aren’t doing anything to fight back, so his motions are rocking you up the bed.

He lets out another whine when he comes, face red and sweaty and the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. He’s finally still, and you can feel every place where your body fluids are cooling down and it’s largely unpleasant. Hyunjin seems to agree because he starts shoving at the clothes he’s wearing angrily. You grab his hands.

“Hey, hey, Hyunjinnie. Let me help, yeah? Let me help and then you can finally fuck me. Isn’t that what you want?” You get to watch his pupils dilate in real time, plush lips falling open as his jaw drops. He’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You want to eat him alive. You take off his clothes and yours, dropping the soiled clothes somewhere on the floor because Hyunjin doesn’t seem to care what happens to them right now.

You and him have fucked, to be sure. After everything with Minho, there isn’t a moment where you aren’t being propositioned by someone in the pack. You’ve never seen him like this though, flushed and sweaty, out of it with rut. For a second, you’re worried he might have rut fever, but he can still understand you when you talk to him, and he still kisses back when you press your lips to him, so he’s fine.

“Dove,” his voice is scratchy with disuse and something else.

“Hmm?”

“Want in, please, let me. Lemme,” his hands are pawing at your hips desperately. You lace your fingers through his hair and pull his head back, kissing his neck.

“Calm down. I’ve gotta get ready first. You don’t wanna hurt me, do you?” He shakes his head as best he can through the grip you have on his hair. “That’s what I thought. My honey boy doesn’t wanna hurt his precious Omega, right?” You shift so you’re straddling him, seating yourself right above his cock. You know he can feel where you’re leaking and wet for him. You know what you’re doing is mean, but he already came once, you can have some fun.

“Hyunjinnie,” you let go of his hair to rest your hands on his chest, sliding yourself along his cock. “You feel so nice like this, maybe I won’t even let you inside.” He pouts, eyes furrowing in that cute way of his, bottom lip jutting out and you kiss it.

“I’m kidding.”

“Better be.”

You get yourself off like that, sliding along his cock, letting the tip graze your hole for just a second, just to tease. Hyunjin comes too, a second time, adding to the slick mess on his stomach. He’s whining now, hands grabbing everywhere he can reach, your chest, your ass, your neck, but he hasn’t made any move to force you despite his rut. He’s dirty, your boy.

You know that you wouldn’t be getting away with this if it wasn’t Hyunjin. You know that if you were with any of the Alpha’s during their ruts or Changbinnie or the Omega’s you would’ve been pinned to the bed and stuffed full by now. The knowledge gives you a bit of a head rush. That Hyunjinnie wants you to make him beg a little for what he wants, that he trusts you to take care of him when he’s too out of it to take care of himself. You lean forward and kiss him, all tongue and teeth and filthy.

“Dove, please.” He says this against your mouth, one hand coming up to the back of your head, the other gripping your wrist where it still sits on his chest. You can feel how his grip tightens and loosens periodically, and you appreciate the effort he’s making to not hurt you.

You lean back and this time, this time, you let him sink into you, sliding down down down until you’re at the hilt, sitting prettily on his hips. The noise he lets out is music to your ears, but it’s loud. You hum, rocking against him while he squirms under you.

“Hyunjinnie, baby.”

“Mm?” He peeks his eyes open, god, he’s a vision. Pretty brown eyes blown wide, mouth kiss bruised and open just enough that his pretty tongue is peeking out just a little. His hair is sweat slick just like the rest of him and it’s plastered to his face in some areas.

“Open your mouth for me, honey.” He does, a little confused, but sweet like always. You shove two of your fingers in his mouth and watch as his eyes roll back in his head and his hips buck up into you.

He’s groaning as he sucks on your fingers, treating them the way he would a cock, and you throb at the visual. He’s wrapped his own long fingers around your wrist, moving your hand in and out of his mouth himself. You use a little force to make him gag on them, just because, and the moan he grants you with has you feeling dizzy.

“Honey boy,” You keep your fingers in his mouth as you return your focus to riding him. “Such a pretty boy. Pretty cock too, yeah?” You hook your fingers behind his teeth and yank his jaw open. He has such a pretty mouth. Maybe after his ruts over you’ll play with it. Run the pads of your fingers over his teeth and along his tongue. Push your fingers back until he gags on them, hold them there for good measure. Watch as his drool runs down his face and off your wrist before teasing him for making such a mess.

“Should I get one of the Alpha’s in here? Hmm? Let you choke on their cocks while I ride you silly? Or maybe I should bring in Changbinnie? He stretches your jaw out so nice, doesn’t he?” You feel Hyunjin’s dick kick inside you, but he shakes his head anyway.

“No, you don’t want that?” He grabs your wrist to pull your fingers free and you oblige.

“No, want,” he sucks in a shaky breath when you wipe his spit on his cheek, “just want you.”

If he wasn’t high off brain chemicals, you’d accuse him of flirting with you. You know that he’s not running game, just being honest and sweet, but something in your chest flutters and seizes, causing you to stop your movements.

“Hyunjin,” you didn’t think you’d cry this time. Absolutely certain that you could avoid it if you were taking the lead. He lets out a whine like he’s been hurt and reaches up to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

“Dove?” He sounds panicked, and you kiss him to shut him up. You know he’s been thrown for a loop by your tears, worried he’s hurt you or underperforming in some way, not with it enough to know that you’re crying because you’re in love with him.

“You’re a charmer, aren’t you, Jinnie?” You sniff slightly and pat his shoulder. “I’m getting tired, why don’t you finish the job, hmm?” He goes to turn you over and you pinch his arm. “Like this. I like the way you look under me.” You smile salaciously at him and he ducks his head a little, suddenly shy. You stay where you are, nose-to-nose with him so you can kiss him when you please and lift your knees a little so he has room to play, and he takes it.

He’s sloppy and uncoordinated, but that doesn’t stop him from shifting around until he’s found an angle that has you moaning almost as loud as he is. It makes him smirk, all self satisfied and cocky, before you yank his hair a little and he loses it.

“‘S good.” He’s cute like this, moaning and whining about how hot and wet you are around him.

“Yeah? Just a little more and you’ll make me come too.” He groans. “You want that? Want me to come on your cock?” He nods fervently and his thrusts get faster. You lean down so your lips are pressed against his ear and you can feel his sweat slicked chest gliding against yours.

“Or, maybe you want me to come on your knot. C’mon, honey boy. Let me have it. Your Omega wants it so bad.”

He growls this time, yanking you down by the hips while he fucks up into you, forcing his knot inside your heat. He’s a Beta, so admittedly his knot isn’t as big as an Alpha’s is, but you moan and come on it just like you said you would.

“More.” He reaches his hand between the two of you and places it where you’re sensitive and swollen.

“Hyunnie, what?”

“One more. One more, c’mon.” His spare hand comes up to rest inbetween to shoulder blades, forcing your chest down against him. Between that and his knot you’re stuck

“You motherfucker-”

“Please,” his voice is deep and low and right in your ear. He lets out a groan when the way he’s touching you has him clenching on his knot.

“Hwang Hyunjin-” Your threat is too breathy to have any bite.

“You said you’d do it, you have to.” It doesn’t seem to dawn on him that you came when he did, or if it did he doesn’t care because he keeps up the stimulation until you fall apart on top of him again, walls fluttering along his cock, teeth biting just shy of his scent gland.

When you come back to yourself, he’s pressing kisses on your shoulder.

“You’re a shithead.” You tell him this softly, while running your fingers along the side of his face. He grumbles in response.

“You bit me.”

“Deserved.”

You stop scolding him to kiss him again. It’s not your fault his mouth is so kissable.

“You feel better, honey boy?”

“I feel tired.”

“Good.” He rolls the two of you over until you’re on your side, eyes closing. “Hey.”

“What?”

“Open your mouth.” He squints at you.

“Why?”

“I wanna see it.”

“You’re a freak.” He drops his jaw anyway.

-

(Halfway through your in depth exploration of his molars your phone buzzes. It’s Minho, with pictures of Felix fucked out and crying.

“Who?” Your fingers are still in Hyunjin’s mouth so it comes out muffled. You show him your phone as you take them out.

“Lixie got his just desserts.”

“You can be my dessert.”

“Corny.” You let him roll you onto your back anyway.)

[sweetfushi]

Hi please could I get headcanons for gojo, geto and nanami for when they’re feeling jealous/insecure in their relationship🥹I love how you write the jjk men💗

COMFORTING THEM WHEN THEY'RE FEELING INSECURE

angst, hurt/comfort | satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami x reader, feelings of unworthiness, questioning one's life, depression, feeling like you will leave them someday, jealousy, age insecurity, age gap between you and nanami | word count. 1.5k ◦ notes. oh myy don't make me blush nonnie, i hope you enjoy <3

SATORU GOJO.

To say you have your eye on Satoru was an understatement, and not in the “I know you’re up to something” way. Rather, because you know he’s dealing with something you can’t exactly place your finger on. You can only tell this because he’s been quiet this whole day, wandering around the house like it’s his first time here and doesn’t know where anything is. Multiple times have you had to grab his arm to stop him from bumping into something - you can’t snap him out of the daze he’s in and it’s concerning you.

“‘Toru, what’s wrong?” You finally ask him, grabbing his arms to steady him in front of you despite his much taller frame. If anything, you usually grab onto him to steady yourself.

His blue eyes are clouded, his gaze on you yet uncertain. The only sound you hear is the sound of him swallowing thickly and the gusts of wind rushing through the living room window.

“Do you like being with me? Do you like being around me?” He asks, that dazed look still swarming his eyes.

You practically sputter at the sudden questioning. “Of course, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love being with and around you, Satoru,” you confirm, brow furrowing. “What makes you ask?”

He gulps again and takes a seat on the couch to catch himself before his legs give out from both anxiety and exhaustion. He felt like he hadn’t slept or eaten properly in days. “What… what do you love about me?”

Something inside of you breaks at the tone of his voice. The question itself was heart-breaking, let alone the dejected expression he held when asking it.

“Oh honey,” you coo as you take a seat beside him, running a hand through his hair. “I love everything about you. Your laugh, your smile, your eyes. Hell, even the way you annoy me. I love it all. I love you, Satoru.”

He stares down at his lap for a moment, head hanging low and eyes relaxed. He looks like he’s on the brink of collapsing but the fact that you can’t place why he looks like that frustrates you. You’re not even sure whether frustration is what you’re feeling right now, but you were the last person to be concerned with.

Satoru doesn’t smile, but you see him relax slightly after a period of silence between you. He inhales deeply and shuffles over to lay in your lap, his body evidently trembling. The only viable option at the moment seems to be caressing him and playing with his hair.

Even when you hear his quiet sobs and feel his tears dampen your leg.

SUGURU GETO.

It’s not foreign for you to witness Geto express some form of his depression. Whether it was about himself or someone else, it wasn’t a covert aspect of your relationship. You always comfort him, whether you yourself were going through hardship or not.

Despite this, you had never felt the degree of disturbance you felt now as you looked at him. Geto’s hair traces down his shoulders and appears to obstruct your view of his sunken eyes. He can’t remember the last time he got a good night’s sleep; most nights he spent tossing and turning, admiring your slumbering form as he contemplated his worth.

“Suguru?” You start, voice almost dying in your throat. “What’s wrong?”

Suguru raises his head slightly to flash you a tired smile and greets you quietly. “Nothing at all, dove. Just tired is all,” he sighs heavily, feeling the couch dip as you sit beside him.

“I don’t look like this,” you brush his hair out his face, “when I’m tired.”

He huffs, slightly amused. “I don’t see how exhaustion could diminish your beauty,” is all he says as he finally leans back into the couch and observes you. You tend to cower under his generally seductive gaze, but there was nothing seductive in the way his dark eyes found their last grips of strength in your beauty. It was painful to see.

“You don’t need to worry yourself,” he tells you matter-of-factly, as if it’s a habit for you to neglect him when he’s feeling this way.

Thus, you shake your head in response and place a hand on his arm. At that, you feel him tense up. “You trust me, right?” He nods his head. “So tell me what’s wrong. We’ll work through it together, as we always do,” you promise.

Suguru inhales deeply before speaking. “I feel undeserving of all that you give me. Even,” he almost chokes on his own breath, but catches himself, “when you tell me you love me, I don’t feel like I’m worthy of being subject to your love.”

In times like this, you rarely have the words or articulacy to verbalise what you feel in response to him. That’s why you frequently resort to physical affections, such as touching or holding him. Which is why you decide that pulling him closer to you and into your embrace is the best to satiate the situation.

When you do so, Suguru has difficulty composing himself. The pieces he had been holding so tightly and so closely fell through the gaps between his fingers and lay into your hands, awaiting your resolution to his despondency. Only you had the ability to fix what Suguru so frequently destroyed with his self-deprecation.

You feel the shaky intake of his breaths and start to rub up and down his back in an attempt to soothe him, but you’re not necessarily surprised when you feel his tears stain your shirt and trail onto your shoulder.

The only reason you don’t find yourself desperate to calm his tears is because you know that beyond your vision, as he returns your embrace, Suguru is smiling as the first piece of himself is fixed.

KENTO NANAMI.

“You’ve been acting more jealous recently,” you point out to him, hoping it’s not functioning as stepping on a landmine - though you’ve never had communicative problems with Nanami. 

He remains silent as he cleans his glasses, only offering a hum in response until he puts his glasses back on again and turns to you. You can’t detect what his expression is trying to communicate to you, so you wait for him to verbalise it.

“I have?” He asks softly. When you simply nod at him, he reflects on himself for a moment. He’s never felt like his anxiety affected the way he conducted himself around others, especially around you. When he’s in your presence, he hardly ever finds himself struggling with negative mentalities. But, you had noticed his slight outbursts recently.

He was more touchy in public, especially when sighting someone looking at you. He would request that you’d reserve isolated tables in restaurants. He would check his watch often and fiddle with his glasses or his tie. When you had first asked him about it, he’d just placed his hand on yours and smiled, telling you to not worry yourself about him.

“Have I done something to upset you?” You question, to which he simply replies no.

So, you feel obligated to ask. “Are you cheating on me?”

He whips his head to look at you incredulously, raising a brow. “Is that the man you take me for?” He chuckles slightly, a small rumble in his chest that dies as quick as it sounds.

You shrug and sit opposite him at the kitchen table. “Precautionary questioning. But really, what’s going on? Is it something I can help with?”

Nanami stares at you for a moment and already feels the tension in his body ease. “Does it ever bother you that you’re with an older man?”

Now you’re the one to stare at him incredulously. “It’s never been a bother, it isn’t now. What makes you ask?” You catch sight of the way his leg bounces under the table but don’t point it out.

“You never desire to be with men your age? You’d probably have more time to explore yourself with them–”

“Hey, that’s enough. None of this individuality and “explore yourself” crap,” you furrow your brow. “I’ve found more parts of myself during our relationship than with any other guy or friend, even. Don’t let your age convince you that you’re a liability or burden of any sort. Age is not something you can control, your approach to how you let it define you is something you can.”

As you practically scold him, Nanami stares at you, observing your every expression with a delightful warmth in his chest.

“If I wanted to be with the idiots that are men my age, I would’ve gone searching and landed myself in a miserable relationship. Guess why I haven’t left you,” you raise a brow, looking at him pointedly. “Because you are the one I want. Regardless of age or anything of that matter.”

You let yourself fall silent as he continues to observe you. At some point, you grow uncomfortable at the lack of response but don’t pressure him. But, you hear him exhale almost in relief, which is when you meet his gaze as he starts to reply.

“I think I’ve fallen in love with you even more.”

sweetfushi © do not modify, repost, translate, copy or use my post in any way. all that is included in this post, aside from the fictional characters and universes, belong to sweetfushi (zee).

[faeflowerz]

Savanaclaw Imprinting on You

I have nothing cheeky to say. Let's do this.

Warnings: My gross misunderstanding of animals, Bullying Leona for being a big chonk

Characters: Ruggie, Jack, Leona

Ruggie imprinting on you is an "oh shit" moment for him. He lives his life so casually and when he sees you, like really sees you for the first time, he's acting unwise. Ruggie will do things for you that he wouldn't for anyone else. He doesn't ask for you to return the favor. He even shares his food.

Now this last one is particularly special for him given that he values food more than his peers. Food is how he communicates and finds pleasure. I won't get too far into the feederism side, but I think there'd be a lot of "You should eat. Have you had breakfast?"

But it's not all picnics and dandelions. Hyenas are pretty scary if you piss em off. So if one of your guy friends touches you the wrong way or tries to tease him about his sudden obsession with you, he will go on the offense. Lots of growling and hes ready to turn them into a hashtag. You gotta drag him away every single time.

"Dude, you can't just go around picking fights with everyone! What's your damage, Ruggie?"

"I wouldn’t be so mad if those assholes kept their hands off of you!"

"That's what this is about? They mess around all the time, it's not a big deal."

"It is to me! I don't like it!"

"Okay, but why though? Why would you give a fuck?" You shake your head, frustrated by the look he was giving you.

"Because I'm jealous!" He barks. "I don't want anyone else touching you but me!" Everything is quiet as you try to process what he just said.

"Ruggie...what-"

"I like...being around you all the time. And all I can think about is you. And...ugh...this is so stupid." His cheeks are cute and pink as he mumbles his way though his confession. And you, you're smiling. Seeing him get so real with you is so sweet and touching. As he's trying to justify his behavior, you place a sweet kiss on his nose. Then he's all shishishi cause he got kissed.

When Jack imprints on you, he's pretty tsundere about it. Suddenly he's hanging around you and by extension the other first years. Its not like he loves you and how you smell and the way you laugh at your dumbass friends. He just...needs to be within five feet of you at all times. Oh, and that tail? It's wagging every single time you acknowledge him or give him attention. The most antisocial boy is suddenly craving your affection.

And of course Ace is gonna clown him for it. Though it feels a little bit different. "Is there somethin you're not telling us? No fair that you two have A Thing going on the down low."

"What are you even talking about?" Jack crosses his arms, clearly trying to keep cool.

"Come on, dude. You lit up when Prefect sat next to you," Ace pouts at the both of you before calling you out too. "Are you together?!"

"Wh-what?! What would make you think that?!"

And all of your friends have examples. Waay too many. And then, Ortho says, "You know, imprinting can happen to beast men too. There's a chance that-"

"What happens between me and Prefect is our business. I didn’t ask any of you to help me confess either."

Major self report. His tail is going a trillion per hour and he realizes what he just said. "Damn it."

"Ha! I knew it!" Ace chortles.

"Wow...that was pretty bold, Jack," Epel hides his grin behind his hand. As for you...

Well, you're smiling like an idiot. It's not like you haven't been purposefully saying and doing things to see his tail wag, make his ears flicker and see him smile a little. You can't pretend to be shocked as you look at Jack for a response. "Well, I guess I should have been honest from the start..."

So there you are, resigned to be a pillow for the biggest cat you've had the misfortune of knowing. Leona loves your thighs and like hell he's going to pass up on your free period to get some sleep. You've accepted your fate, but your legs are just as comatose as he is. As you try to shift around, this catman actually whines in protest. Inside, he's praying you didn't hear it. "Stop moving," he manages to say.

So, Leona's imprinted on you. Now what? Well, you're gonna know quite quickly. Like, it's kind of not a secret since Leona is so shameless with everything he does. Though, he won't actually say "I've imprinted on you." His actions are all the confirmation you need. Actually, he's the most overbearing because he will just drag you away from whatever you're doing just to take a nap with him. Are you in the greenhouse for a class? Well, too fucking bad. Leona wants you to give him attention. You know. Like a cat.

"M'leg's asleep," you complain. "Plus you're heavy."

"Neither of these are my problem."

"You're literally responsible for both."

"You callin me fat?"

"...maybe I am," Leona opens one eye to glare up at you. He wants to be mad. But seeing you so pleased by his reaction makes him melt a little. "What? All you do is eat and sleep what else am I supposed to think?" To your surprise, he sits up. You're about to ask but he flops on top of you, sending you both into the soft patch of grass. Leona's spooning you and your face is buried in his fat (and kind of fuzzy) tits. "Seriously?!"

"Look, you're just going to have to deal with the fact that you're one of the few people I can tolerate."

He's a real piece of work, isn't he? Still, his body is kind of warm and cuddly, huh? He would probably get mad if you said that out loud though.

[multifandomimagin3s]

Reader is angry at them - 141 + Los Vaqueros

Requested by Anon

mentions of sex, no actual smut, reader is gender neutral.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

His reaction would probably depend on multiple factors: why you were angry in the first place, if he's angry at you too, and how close he is to you in the first place.

If you weren't close, he probably wouldn't give a shit - if you were in the military he would probably pull rank, using his status to put you in your place should your anger towards him impair your abilities on a mission.

If you two were close, he'd probably either give you the silent treatment or would be upfront, asking you "Right, what's the fucking problem?"

If he's angry at you too, mans is stubborn as a bull.

He'd probably remove himself from your presence entirely if he gets to the point he feels physically angry - with all his past trauma, he doesn't want to risk hurting you in a fit of anger.

You'd probably have to talk to him first unless he was genuinely in the wrong, but even then he'd only truly apologise if you were genuinely hurt by what he'd said or done.

Well, apologise is a strong word in this context - you'd probably get a gruff "sorry" since he's a man of few words and doesn't like making himself vulnerable.

The make-up sex would be 10/10 - he can't verbalise what he wants to say, so he'd rather show you.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

Less stubborn than Ghost but not by much.

If you're angry at him, he wants you to just tell him outright so you can talk it out.

If you don't tell him, then it's the silent treatment.

If he's aware that he's done something to upset you, then he is in fact quick to apologise - flowers, chocolates, the whole nine yards.

Probably would be the type to try and make you laugh when you're angry - and dammit it works nearly every time.

He's generally a happy-go-lucky guy so if he's angry at you, it would probably be over something important - like if you were on a mission together and you risked your life either to save his or another teammate's.

In which case, he wouldn't hide his feelings at all - he wears his heart on his sleeve, and tells you just how much you mean to him and how the thought of loosing you makes him feel physically sick to his stomach.

Captain John Price

Hm, I think his reactions would be interesting.

He's older and more mature, has seen some shit in his life that were more than a bit traumatising to say the least.

He's also of high ranking within the military, and is more than used to dealing with the anger of others and dishing out his own share.

Similarly to Ghost, it would all depend on how close you two were to begin with.

If you're not close and you're a lower rank than him, be prepared for months of bathroom duty, intensive training and god knows what other punishments he has up his sleeve - not in the fun way either.

If you are close, he'd probably just ask you to tell him what's bothering you - if he can fix it, consider it done. If it's something bigger, then you can talk about it, he's relatively reasonable when it comes to most things.

If he's angry at you too - he doesn't do the silent treatment and doesn't do angry outbursts either.

He's calm - so calm, it's almost unnerving.

He can voice his anger with a calm tone - it feels as if you're dancing on the edge of a knife.

If you were giving him the silent treatment, he'd leave you to it - if it went on for a long period of time, then he'd confront you because he's "too old for this shit."

The best way for you both to get your frustrations out? Sex. After not being able to talk to you for what felt like weeks, he secretly craves the intimacy.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

See I can't see him getting angry over anything minor - he's too laidback for that.

Like with Soap, if you risked your life for his on a mission, oh he would be pissed.

But he probably wouldn't tell you outright - you'd have probably gotten some choice words from Price about being reckless; "Don't let me catch you trying something like that again, you fucking muppet!"

He'd go dead silent - not to be confused with the silent treatment though, the anger is there and it isn't dormant, just bubbling up.

Would probably start his rant once you asked him if he was okay.

No, he wasn't.

He'd be pacing in his room, going on and on about how stupid it was for you to practically try and get yourself killed to save him, how the team needs you, how much he loves and cares about you, and how guilty he would feel if you did in fact die trying to save his life.

I reckon he'd start to cry out of anger, at which point you'd hug him and let him get it all out of his system.

He's not a big crier, but this wasn't just a run of the mill thing.

Please don't pull anything like that again.

Alejandro Vargas

Silent treatment? Never heard of it.

He's a passionate man through and through, so if he's angry at you then he's going to tell you. And probably loudly.

Always feels guilty if he ends up yelling at you during an argument and apologises soon after.

He too wears his heart on his sleeve - well he would but as he tells you all the time, you have his heart.

If he had it his way, he would protect you from all harm that the world could throw your way; and he sure tries to.

When you're angry at him, he'd probably try to woo you out of it - depending on what you're angry about this usually works, he can be very smooth.

Also a big fan of make-up sex - angry sex lets him release his pent up frustrations in a healthier way, and it lets him show how much he loves you.

If you tell him why you're angry at him, he'd listen; if it was over something relatively small like him leaving things lying around your apartment or him eating your leftovers, then he'd make mental notes not to do it again; if it was over something bigger, like how dangerous his job is and how he risks his life on the regular, he probably wouldn't respond well to it.

It's his job and his comrades are family to him - he doesn't plan on giving it up anytime soon, so that would be a big talk you guys would have to have.

Overall, he's a stubborn guy but he has your best interests at heart.

Rudy Parra

On the outside, he's a quiet guy.

But he's also a Sergeant Major - so it's not as if getting angry isn't in his toolkit.

If you're angry at him, he'd encourage you to just tell him, let it out - shout at him, cry, whatever you need to do, just don't go silent on him.

He's a grown man, he can take it.

When he's angry though, he's a bit of a hypocrite - he wouldn't yell at you or voice his frustrations for a while, but wouldn't go silent either.

He'd just give you this grumpy look >:(

You'd eventually be able to talk it out but he's thought through everything he wants to say about a million times in his head first.

I think make-up sex would be probably the last thing he'd be thinking of in the moment, he'd much rather just have some intimacy between you two - whether that be watching a movie together, cuddling, going out somewhere, just some time to yourselves.

If he genuinely was at fault, he'd dote on you - even more than he usually does.

He'd run you a bath, give you a massage, cook you a meal, you name it.

He doesn't like it when you're both angry at each other and aren't talking so when you're able to talk it out and make amends, he shows how his heart beats for you.

[jakesangel]

jake helping you w heavy periods -requested

heavy periods isn't something funny. cramp pains on the lower side of your belly, so heavy they will even spread to your lower back and thighs. on the worst days, the discomfort even interferes in daily activities. but since dating jake he wouldnt leave you alone in this : being with jake, means being supported 100% at all times. at first he didn't get it tho : seeing you suddenly in pain and in some kind of mood he wasn't used to it, he would freaked out, thinking your mad at him. are you okay, baby ? did i do something wrong ? he'd pout to you, not understanding at first on your sudden change. after explaining him you current condition, he'd be relived to know you aren't mad at him but he'll still be sad to be helpless. he would be extra cuddly, rubbing your skin where he thinks would help you, or kissing those places. he would also be more soft on you, understanding that your mood swings are coming from your hormones n you are'nt purely mad at him

after that jake would never be unprepared again. he had bought heat pack for you lower body pains, snacks, pads or tampon of different size, n kept all of those in a designed place for you in his bedroom. jake would never leave his angel in pain alone, so either you're at his dorm or your own place, he will come to you w those product to help. you also don't need him to tell him when you get your periods, as he would track them thanks to phone apps. he won't tell you tho, he will just be extra caring on those days, leaving you comforting and supportive text messages and bringing you your favorite food and snacks on those days. he would even buy you a special plushie, he'd ask you to hug when he isn't there for you, dressing it w your fav shirt of his and spraying his perfume on it.

but one the days he is finishes his schedule earlier, he will come to you, without forgetting to bring the products he bought especially for those days. he would text you before coming over , telling you that he will use the emergency keys of your apartment. once arrived, he will super soft for you : he would become your legs and your arms, holding you in his arm, bridal style, because you are his princess, if you need to go to the toilet. he wouldn't hold you without making you laugh, dramatically playing like a knight, trying to make you forget about your current pain. i'm afraid that won't be possible, princess y/n, he'd say taking your body in his, me as your knight in armor, wouldn't less such princess use her feet in such situation, he would add, taking you to your bathroom. he would also make sure to keep the heat pack, warm on your body and his hands soothing your lower back, soothing you.

if your cramps are terrible, he would pout at your sight, feeling helpless is an awful feeling form him specially where youre the one in need of help. he will remain by your side tho, actively looking for pills against periods pains n would bring them along your snacks. he would then kiss you as a reward to be this strong for taking the médecine but also enduring this pain every month. you're so strong baby, i could never do it, hed say kissing your temple. or if your mood isn't the best, he will endure them and not make you feel invalid. oh baby why are you crying, he'd hold your face w both of his hands holding your cheeks, the movie is this munch for you right now, no ? he would then add, swiping away your tears. lets put something less emotional, m'okay baby ?, he'd finish, softly kissing you, adorationn spreading out of his body.

notes : hai anon here is ur request >< i wasnt so sure of what you wanted so i tried to stay general, tho i hope it still pleases you >< please lemme kno in the inbox !! i also hope youre done w ur periods <3

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #54

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 21.2k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

“No.”

“But–”

“I said no. What's not clicking?”

You should've expected this response and reaction. Not even in your wildest dreams you imagined this to go smoothly, the lack of sleep you've managed to get after yesterday speaks for everything. Not only Jungkook and the argument your friends witnessed so openly clouded your mind and made it difficult for you to surrender yourself to tiredness, but also wondering how you will throw your idea at Yoongi the next morning. 

This is all your fault and you shouldn't have spoken when angry and annoyed. The idea of inviting Yoongi to your camping trip is not only stupid but it doesn't make sense either. To be honest, you're aware of Jungkook's dislike toward your co-worker and he didn't fail to show it yesterday either. That's why you stubbornly said he's coming too. 

“He's not even your friend.”  

Jungkook might be right about that, but you're going to prove him wrong. You will drag Yoongi there whether he wants to or not, whatever it takes. You've been determined and pretty confident until now.

You haven't even managed to fully explain yourself before Yoongi straightforwardly dismissed you during the lunch break. Not only have you been bracing yourself to approach him, you feel embarrassed how blunt and rude he is about it.

“You didn't even hear me out.” you exclaim, thanking God there are no other co-workers witnessing this embarrassing moment of you ready to beg Yoongi.

“And I didn't have to,” Yoongi shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee as he cocks his brow in your direction, silently challenging you which makes your blood boil. 

Two people have pissed you off in less than twenty-four hours. And it's not because of your period. Yes, you got it and you never thought you would be happier about it, even though there was a really low risk in the first place. Still, it calmed down your nerves and you wondered whether you should inform Jungkook about it, only because you were too relieved and excited. In the end, you decided not to because that could be potentially weird. All of this was before your argument that took place yesterday. 

“I don't even want to know why you invited me somewhere. There has to be some kind of ulterior motive for it.” He squints his eyes suspiciously at you while you roll your eyes at him. 

“I know it's weird but–”

“Fucking weird,” Yoongi cuts you off, your mouth shut as you glare at him while he takes a calm sip of his steaming coffee. “Now leave me alone so I can enjoy the rest of my lunch break.”

What would you do if you could just kick him in the ass for being such an asshole? You really want to do that and for a second you contemplate on doing that, but then you're reminded what you got yourself into. You're stubborn and you're determined on showing up with Yoongi.

“Yoongi!” you call out to him, your cheeks heating even in a bigger embarrassment how panicked you sound.

But thankfully, he turns around and doesn't ignore you. However, he looks already tired of you and he doesn't fail to not show it. Besides the dark hair that has gotten longer in the back and frames his face, annoyance and tiredness does too. You're the unmistakable reason behind it. 

Taking this chance, you rush back to him, too scared he's going to leave and leave you to your destiny and humiliation. You won't give any satisfaction to Jungkook. It's petty and childish, but you're not backing down.

Your next words are painful and you just can't believe you're saying them to Yoongi – out of all people – but you have no one else to ask. “I need your help.”

His face remains stoic, doesn't give any sort of reaction and the longer he stays quiet with the coffee in his hands, the more you feel like the floor could swallow you whole. You wish it would. The idiot is never going to live it down once you actually explain things to him. Not that you will give him a full explanation, but he won't believe you if you just tell him you want him there. Both of you know that's proper bullshit. 

“You need what? Say it again.”

Argh, this idiot. 

You swallow down your pride, still throwing him a glare before you mutter through your clenched teeth, “I need your help, you idiot.”

“Now, I don't like that. You don't call names, someone you ask for help. Bye.”

For fuck sake! 

“Okay, okay! I'm sorry,” you whine, grasping him by his wrist as he follows your hand with a frown which makes you let go. “I need your help, please.”

He studies your face, frowning before looking away in annoyance and a moment later, he lets out a tired sigh. “What is this about?” 

“I need you to come with me on a camping trip.”

“You said that before.” He points out. 

You didn't exactly say that. 

“I'm going on a camping trip this weekend, I want you to go with me.” Is what you exactly said.

“And my answer is still no.” He turns to leave but you jump in front of him.

“Can you please let me explain?” you whine, pouting which makes him scrunch his nose. You don't wait for a response, knowing he really is about to leave if you won't do something quickly. “I kinda told my friends you're coming and there's no going back.”

“And why would you do that?” He squints his eyes again. 

Poking your inner cheek, you look away for a moment in a mere embarrassment. “I got into an argument with Jungkook. He pissed me off and it somehow came out of me.”

“Ah,” he lets out, emphasizing his realization too much and it pisses you off. “So you're using me because you want to piss your boyfriend off?” 

To be honest, you completely get Yoongi and why he would never agree to this. He has no reason to. Even if he could easily refuse because of you alone, he and Jungkook haven't ended on a good note the last time you can remember. Bringing Yoongi with you could cause some serious problems and it's only now that you think of the possible consequences. As long as both of them behave, there should be no issue. 

But the guys are welcoming and friendly, they surely wouldn't be rude to Yoongi and even though he's an asshole, you wouldn't put him in that position of inviting him to somewhere where people would be assholes to him. You're not that dumb. Jungkook can behave too, as long as Yoongi doesn't provoke him but you wouldn't bet on it. 

“He is not my boyfriend,” you grumble. “And no, I'm not using you. I think. I don't like the sound of that.”

“So how would you explain my presence there if it's not to piss him off?”

Sighing, you scratch your temple. “No. I need you there because I said you will be there in the heat of the moment. And I'm not giving him that satisfaction of showing up without you.”

“Wow,” Yoongi hums, “You're very persistent.”

You only stare.

“And stupid if you think I'm going.”

“Yoongi!” you whine, almost stomping your feet. “I will do anything you want. Please. The food is free, I will pay for everything there and you won't have to pay for anything. Come on, you don't want to spend the weekend in a nice nature with good food?”

His lips twitch in amusement when you're bluntly trying to persuade him. But the pride is out of the window now. “Not really.”

You groan, “Our friends are coming too and they are really great.”

“I've got enough friends, thank you.”

“No, I meant you would have a great time there. And not mentioning you would seriously help me. I'm desperate Yoongi, if you can't see. I'm practically begging you at our workplace, throwing away my dignity. Come on.”

“I don't like camping.” he informs you, not showing any kind of interest of actually agreeing and you're seriously close to crying. He's making it difficult for you. 

“I will buy you breakfast or lunch every day for a week.” you blurt out, wondering what on earth could Min Yoongi possibly want from you. 

“A week? Is that how much my presence is worth?” 

It's not worth even an hour, you want to say. But you clench your teeth instead and take a deep breath. “For a month.”

“Hm, that's better.” he muses, taking another sip of his warm coffee now. The steam is gone, a reminder of how long this begging has been going on for.

“So? What are you saying?”

“I don't know, Y/N. I don't really want to spend my free weekend with you and your friends.” he admits shamelessly, completely ignoring your look of disbelief that turns into a glare. 

“Trust me, I could imagine my weekend without you too.” you grumble and he leans his ear closer to your face.

“What was that?” 

Fucker . He heard you perfectly.

“Yoongi,” you beg. “Please.”

He stares at you, your foot impatiently and nervously tapping against the floor as you give him a look of desperation. He has every reason to say no . 

“Add coffee there too.”

You squeal in happiness, jumping repeatedly in place with your hands close to your chest and you're close to hugging him. Yoongi winces at your disposal of excitement and relief, throwing you an unappreciative glare. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

Yoongi sighs, “Don't make me regret it.” he grumbles, brushing past you as you still can't hide the smile. 

“I will text you the details!”

“Don't bother!” he calls out, his back turned to you but you ignore him, too engrossed at your own success of persuasion. 

“Let me get this straight,” Maya stops swirling the straw, not hiding her obvious shock. “You invited your friend because Jungkook decided to invite his own?”

“He's not my friend, more like a coworker.” you correct her.

You still can't believe you've managed to pull it off. Luckily, Yoongi never came to you to cancel the whole camping trip like you feared. Still, you hope he will show up and won't bail on you last minute. He is Min Yoongi. He is capable of anything and you wouldn't put it past him. 

You and Jungkook still haven't talked since that day of your argument. What can't be said about Jimin who showed his obvious confusion, not forgetting to give you another lecture through texts. Taehyung called you both dumb but never really said anything else besides that. To say it this way, you had no one to vent to and when Maya asked to hang out before the trip, you agreed straight away.

She gives you a look, though she doesn't judge while she tries to wrap her head around what you've just told her. She knows about Ester coming, Jungkook didn't forget to inform everyone in the group chat that has been created purposely for this trip. It was two days after your argument and his message made your eyes roll. Namjoon offered to help with the tent situation even without Jungkook asking and you found yourself to be annoyed with him because of it. But you know that's stupid because he's just trying to be helpful. 

Why does he always have to save the day? 

In two days you're leaving on this trip and the closer it gets, you wonder if coming at all is a good idea. Maybe you could cancel it, fake sickness or something. But your friends would never live it down. They would see straight to your lie, not mentioning it would be suspicious as hell. 

“You guys are not talking now?” 

“No, we haven't talked since that argument. We don't have arguments like that often and usually, one of us reaches out first. But it's been days and nothing happened.” you explain, frowning at your drink.

“You're both stubborn,” Maya infers, “This is a mess.”

She causes you to groan as you want to rub your face frustratedly, but it wouldn't be worth ruining your makeup. “Don't remind me.”

“But things were fine before that, right? You guys are still…?” She trails off, doing a weird gesture with her hands but you understand it immediately as your cheeks flush. 

“Yeah, yeah everything was fine. But you should've seen him. Argh, this fucking sucks. I just got so annoyed because he mentioned inviting her all of a sudden. We barely know her, he barely knows her and he wants to play some kind of hero or something, I don't know. I simply questioned him and he got annoyed, making me feel like the bad guy,”

Maya listens attentively. 

“I mean, I wasn't a saint either. I am not a saint in this but he just got me so annoyed. The way he reacted and looked at me. Even the tone he used.”

Maya watches you for a moment, a smile threatening to appear on her lips and it does. She tries to hide it behind the straw but you catch it right away, giving her a look. “What?”

“Sounds like you're jealous.” 

You groan loudly, throwing your head back. “I am not… jealous.”

“That sounded really convincing.” she sings out and you glare at her. 

“I am not jealous romantically .” you elaborate. 

“Has Jungkook ever had any other female friends beside you?” Maya questions, causing you to shake your head. 

“No, not that I know of. No. I'm sure he hasn't. That's if we don't count Jia but she's Jin's girlfriend, well, wife now. She is also his ex's best friend but I don't think they're friends, friends if you know what I mean.”

“Ah, yeah. I totally get that,” she nods. “Well, then it's more than clear.”

You pause. “What is clear?”

“He never had any other female friends beside you and now he does. You feel threatened, therefore you're jealous.”

“I'm not threatened.” you chuckle, but the sound turns into a nervous one as your eyes widen. Are you threatened by Ester? You're sure you aren't. Your friendship with Jungkook is special. He is allowed to have other female friends.

Maya gives you a knowing look. “Maybe not completely. What you and Jungkook have… I don't think he's ever going to have that with her. But still, you never really had to share him with anyone else. Him inviting her is kinda out of the blue, but you're mainly jealous because you've always been his only female friend.”

You can't say she's far off. You admitted it yourself, you did feel jealous but hearing her saying it out loud to your face feels like a proper slap. You do regret acting like a child that evening, you shouldn't have been so annoyed at him inviting his new friend. You're not possessive or overly jealous. You never had a reason to be. But like Maya said, you never really had to share him. Not only him but your friends too. The three of you have been close since you met them. 

You've got a special bond and even though they've got more friends, you know none of them are that close.

“Do you know how I know this?”

“Hm?” you hum, taking a sip of your virgin mojito to shake yourself out of your intrusive thoughts.

“I can relate to you,” she says, “I had this friend back home. We've known each other since elementary school, we grew up with each other and I thought nothing could separate us. You know, the usual childhood friendship?” She laughs at the memory, though she doesn't sound sad at all. 

That gives you a bit of relief for some reason.

“She found this other friend in highschool since we went to different ones. She started hanging out with her more and more, I guess I felt threatened after a while. I was jealous. And I'm not the jealousy type either. I never felt that way before, but I guess it happens when you have a best friend. You get jealous, it's completely normal.”

Maya leans against the chair, giving you a brief smile. 

“We went separate ways shortly after. I'm not saying that will happen to you and Jungkook!” she quickly adds. “But we grew out of each other, I guess. What I meant to say with this, is that I felt similar and you're not wrong for feeling jealous. We're humans for fuck sake. Sometimes we don't understand each other and I see you kinda blame yourself for questioning Jungkook. But I'm sure you guys will be fine. Some silly argument won't separate you.” 

You almost tease her for getting too deep, but you know it would only be a facade to mask your appreciation for her. She always manages to ease your nerves. She understands you on another level. You usually have that with Jungkook. It's nice to have someone else too. What if Jungkook is going to have that with Ester?  

No, stop! 

“He is allowed to have other friends. I don't want to come out as possessive.”

“And you're not,” she assures you. “It's something new for you. Don't blame yourself.” 

You stare at her before a sad chuckle leaves your mouth. “You always make me feel better.” you admit, causing her to smile at you. 

“What are friends for?” she jokes, “But no really. I didn't say that because I'm your friend. I genuinely think this.”

“Thank you.”

She leans her elbows on the table, peering at you with brown curious eyes. “Tell me about you guys. How are you guys doing? Minus the whole argument, obviously.”

Knowing exactly what she means, you sigh and think it through. How are you and Jungkook doing? You're not sure great does justice to what you're experiencing with him. Reasonably, you wouldn't talk about your sex life with Jimin or Taehyung. Despite their openness and closeness in your circle, it would be weird to rave about having sex with their best friend. Even more now that Jimin knows and clearly showed his dislike.

“Jimin knows about us.” you inform her, filling her in with the latest news that involves your relationship.

“No shit!” She widens her eyes as you give her a nod. 

“Taehyung told him, accidentally but told him nevertheless. He didn't really have a good reaction to it, but I guess I expected that.” you explain. 

“Is Jimin not supportive? Or how would I say it? Understanding?” 

“No, no. He usually is,” you quickly go to defend Jimin. “He was concerned about our friendship. He just doesn't want us to ruin it.”

“Hm, I can understand that,” she hums. “But you two know what you're doing best. It's easy to judge or have a say when you're an outsider.”

Maya is right. Jimin didn't mean to hurt you in any way, even though his words were straight-forward and he didn't exactly go easy on you. The little doubt sparkling inside you is all his doing and you realize his words have cut deeper.

After all, this is something you and Jungkook talked about. You settled on having fun on your own terms, knowing it's not the most common thing – let alone it's not something you would imagine happening two years ago. But you trust each other, you're honest with each other and if any of you decide to end it, it's not going to be a big deal. This is something that is going to end eventually, you're both fully aware of that. It's stupid of you to let anyone or anything to get between that. 

And that's exactly what you're trying to voice to Maya who listens attentively and gives you a reassuring smile throughout it all. 

“I'm sure many friends or best friends sleep together. I don't think it's that rare.” she thinks out loud. 

“I would never imagine doing that with Jungkook. And it sort of happened… naturally? We weren't supposed to exactly sleep together, that wasn't the goal or plan. We just left that open. He wanted me to be comfortable with everything we were doing.”

“That's even better. That it happened naturally, I mean.” 

“Two years ago, we literally cringed every time someone brought us, dating. I mean, we're not dating but just the thought of kissing each other made us grimace.” you chuckle at the memory which makes Maya do the same. 

“Oh come on, you never thought Jungkook was a hot piece of ass before?” Maya arches his brow, giving you a look of disbelief which makes you flustered.

“No!” you exclaim without even thinking about it. But she gives you the look which makes you shift in your seat. “Okay, he was hot and I was completely aware of that. I have a pair of eyes, alright?”

Maya smirks in response.

“But I saw it differently. He was my best friend and I never imagined doing anything even close to–he was like my brother.”

“Oh, so he's not like your brother anymore?” she teases causing you to groan. 

“That would be weird if I said he is considering…”

“Ah, considering he fucks you now. I get it.” 

You glare at her, looking around to check if somebody has heard her but luckily, no one seemed to be weirded out. Thank god you chose the table in the far corner. Maya really is like a female version of Taehyung sometimes. Them and their big mouths. 

“It's weird. We have–we have sex together but in other moments it's like nothing has changed. I think that's why it works between us. We have sex but then we tease each other, and go back to being best friends. I know it sounds weird but–”

“No, it doesn't. I get that. It's good that you guys don't feel weird.” she agrees. 

“I trust no one like I trust Jungkook. I seriously can't imagine doing this with anyone else. I know he would never use me and I do feel comfortable with him.”

Maya studies your face for a moment and just when you start to feel weird, she smirks at you. “You're so whipped.”

You gasp, “No, I am not!” you argue. 

“Whipped for his dick at least.” she continues while your cheeks feel like they're on fire. 

“ Stop !”

“Hey, I'm supporting you!” she exclaims, leaning closer to you as she whispers. “Get that dick, girl.”

You hide your face with your hands, not knowing whether to laugh or cry in horrification as Maya laughs at your distressed state. 

“I told you this before. I don't blame you. Jungkook looks like he can fuck well.” Oh, she has no idea. 

“Maya!” you laugh, her lips stretching to a big smile as she shrugs. 

“What, I'm just honest!” she continues to laugh. “I don't think you would do this with him if he couldn't fuck you properly.”

At least she lowers her voice as she says this but you're still mildly mortified you're talking about this at a public place. Luckily, there's no one around you and that brings at least some kind of relief. Not that you care if some stranger hears that you get fucked properly on daily basis. But still, this is the first time you're experiencing this and you're actually talking about yourself, rather than listening to someone else gushing about their sex life. 

“Oh, you have no idea.” you mutter which catches her attention as she blinks through her long eyelashes with a curious gaze. “I've never had such amazing sex with anyone else. I didn't have many partners to begin with, but I still can compare it with my exes. No one even comes close to… Jungkook.”

Maya squeals in excitement, stomping her feet excitedly under the table with her fists tucked under his chin. “Tell me more!”

You give her a look of amusement, shrugging. “I don't know what else to say. Jungkook ruined me for anyone in the future. I'm genuinely scared of that, Maya.”

“Scared?” she questions, noticing the way your voice drops. 

“What if my future boyfriend won't be as good in bed? I know sex is not everything but fuck, with Jungkook… I really hope there's someone else with that stamina and skills.” 

“Hm, I had a fair share of exes,” she says. “I can really tell the difference.”

“No, don't say that!” you whine.

“Listen, Jungkook might be God between the sheets and all, but if you're having sex with someone you're in love with… it's just different. Obviously, you must have the spark with them in bed too. But if it's mind-blowing in bed, plus you love that person, nothing can compete with that.”

You hate how you automatically think about Jungkook and Kiko, wondering if he sees sex with his ex like that too. It's not like anything Maya said is not true. It does make sense, but you've never really dwelled on it before. But now that she brought it up, you hate yourself for thinking about his previous sex relationship with his ex. 

“I've never felt with anyone like I feel with Joon. The sex, oh my god, I never thought it could get better and trust me, my previous ex was a beast.”

You snort, covering your mouth with your palm as her face brightens. You can't even think about Namjoon and sex in one sentence. You feel like it's a sin but clearly, Maya doesn't mind to get explicit about her own sex life with her fiancé. 

Luckily, the waiter comes to grab your empty glasses when she finishes her sentence. You both order another drink plus a cheesecake as a desert. Caramel one for you, raspberry for Maya. Just when you think she's done with this topic as the kind waiter brings you your desert, she digs into her cheesecake as she bluntly says. 

“Have you guys tried anal? You should.” she says silently.

You inhale the cake in your mouth, causing you to cough furiously as Maya tries to hide her laugh. What the hell? 

“It's not for everyone but if you're prepared well, it's actually very nice.” 

“Maya, seriously?” you deadpan, lowering your voice as she laughs. You don't mention Jungkook hinting at this particular topic a few times. Now that you're thinking about it, you haven't heard him bringing it up in a long time. 

“Hey, why so shy now? Miss ' Jungkook fucks me so good '?” she mocks you jokingly, a laugh escaping your mouth as you kick her shin under the table. 

“I'm not sure if I'm interested in that… particularly.” 

“You're missing out, but you do you.” she sings out as you roll your eyes.

“I would never peg Namjoon as…” you trail off, making a weird face as Maya laughs at the sight in front of her. 

“Girl, he looks innocent okay? I'll admit that but when it comes to sex… he's anything but innocent.”

“I feel weird hearing this.” you comment, making her laugh again. 

“Okay, then. What have you and Jungkook tried? If you're comfortable talking about this, of course.”

Thank god this place is clearing out. 

Not only has Jungkook managed to give you some indescribable orgasms, the best you've ever experienced so far, but he has also shown you so many new things. And with what happened recently, the most memorable thing right now is very clear to you. 

“We… um, we tried–recently, for the first time we had sex without–”

“Oh my!” she gasps. “It's great, isn't it? I don't want to see condoms anymore.” 

You cackle at that, slowly shaking your head. It's different with her. Her and Namjoon are in a relationship, fuck they're getting married soon! 

“It doesn't matter. It was a one time thing. It won't happen again.” you dismiss her as her smile drops. 

“Damn,” Her shoulders slouch as if this information somehow affects her. “I admire your responsibility. I shouldn't admit this but I wasn't so responsible in the past. I wasn't dating some of the guys too. Obviously, I trusted them and we were exclusive. I'm not proud of this but sometimes we just couldn't control ourselves.”

Oh god. You're already having a hard time thinking about having sex with condoms. Not that it's amazing either way, Jungkook is amazing at this but the feeling of– fuck .

“Maya, girl, you're not helping.” you nervously chuckle as she giggles. 

“Has he…?” she trails off, making a gesture with her hand which has your cheeks heating up and eyes widening. 

“No!” you exclaim. “No,” you add more quietly. “We didn't risk that. I was already close to shitting my pants like what if.”

Maya hums, watching you as you nervously trace the rim of your glass. 

“Is it… how does it feel? I've never…” you admit, cheeks flushing as Maya gives you a comforting smile, silently telling you there's nothing to be shy or ashamed about. 

Clearly, she has more experience in this field and considering she has a fiancé, you really doubt they have protected sex which she actually confirmed herself just a minute ago.

“I've heard it's different for every woman. Some don't feel it, some do. It depends on many factors. I have to admit I experienced that with another guy before too, not only with Joon… but lemme tell you it was freaking good every time.”

You mentally whine, trying to get that idea out of your mind. Jungkook knew what he was doing when he pulled out. You also never even discussed the possibility of him cumming inside and deep down, you know it's better this way that it never happened. You can't entertain this idea for any longer, no matter how this has been your sexual desire too. You only came out clean trying to have raw sex. You never mentioned the next part, already feeling like what you were asking of him is enough as it is. 

“I was more irresponsible at this than you. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I ended up knocked by some guy that wasn't even my boyfriend. I was wild back then. But many people do this. I really doubt most people that aren't even in a relationship have protected sex. As long as everyone's clean of course.” 

That's true. You heard many of your friends back home talking about this. It's one of the reasons why you've always been responsible about this. They were having sex with their boyfriends back then, all of them were clean so the only problem was the risk itself. And you're not talking about the risk of catching STDs or something. 

“You're on birth control, right?”

“Yeah.” you confirm. 

“It's worth the try, trust me.” Maya shrugs. “You said you trust Jungkook. You're exclusive and you're having the sex of your life with him. Just saying.”

“I don't know. I don't even know how he would feel about it.” you mutter, almost whining at the thought. No, no, no. You can't be thinking about this. Silly Maya and her sex experiences.

“Trust me, guys love it.”

You shut your mouth, slowly shaking your head. 

“Yeah, but Jungkook…” you trail off, hinting at what happened to him. You never talked about it with Maya but she knows, most likely from Namjoon. Everyone in the group knows by now, they just don't talk about it. Probably not wanting to make Jungkook uncomfortable, plus there's no reason for them to talk about it. It's none of their business. 

“That happens once. It doesn't have to happen again, Jungkook knows that Y/N.” Maya says softly, “I understand why you guys would be hesitant and it's totally up to you. I'm just speaking out of my own experiences.” 

“Yeah…” you mutter, taking a long sip of your second mojito. “We're arguing at the moment anyway. The last thing I want is to think about sex with him.” You don't like arguing or fighting with him. Sex is the least of your worries right now.

“Oh, you guys will make up, trust me.” she muses with a knowing look that makes you playfully roll your eyes. “Anyways, I'm excited for the weekend. We're leaving in two days. It's my first time going with you guys! What should I pack?”

The rest of the hour is spent with you talking about the weekend, though you can't help but feel nervous each day it gets closer.

Yoongi hasn't bailed on you. Surprisingly.

You don't think you've ever wanted to see him more than when you had spotted him waiting for you in front of his apartment building. Even when he bluntly ignored your greeting and insisted on going with his car instead. Swallowing down the offense once he eyes your vehicle, you're forced to put your stuff in his car.

Not that information of where Yoongi lives now changes things. However, it does feel odd to know such personal information about him, especially when he has remained mysterious to you to a certain level. You think you know him – not all of him that's for sure – but you don't know much. You're both not the type to talk about casual stuff. That's definitely weird.

Once you get inside the car, you complain saying you've already refueled your car but it gets ignored by Yoongi. To be honest, the road to the camping area is a little on the bumpier side and Yoongi's car is more suitable for it. You don't tell him that though, handing him some cash for the fuel rather disheartedly.

He remains his usual grumpy self, barely saying anything other than telling you to turn on the GPS and put the location there. You try to tell him more about the trip, feeling too awkward to just sit there for a few hours with zero communication. But soon enough, Yoongi tells you to shut up and turns up the volume of the radio. 

Annoying dick.  

You remind yourself, you're thankful for his presence either way. You really thought he would bail on you at the last minute.

You make a short stop at a gas station, Yoongi complaining he needs caffeine if he has to put up with your ass for the rest of the weekend. Not getting discouraged or letting his words get to you, you offer him a sarcastic smile as you send him a flying kiss. 

Not commenting when he brings you a coffee too, you silently thank him. You wanted to tease him about it, but the look he gave you warned you not to. After all, you don't want to piss him off.

“Thanks for coming with me.” you mutter with a straw in your mouth, dodging Yoongi's eyes as soon as they set on you. 

He has decided to sit outside at one of the tables for whatever reason — to be honest you stopped listening as soon as he opened his mouth to complain. But hey, you've kept your mouth shut for the sake of both of you.

“Hm? I didn't quite catch that.”

Even without looking at him, you can tell from his tone that he has definitely caught that and he's just being a menace. Giving him a look, you see his brows raised feigning innocence which makes you roll your eyes.

“I said thank you for coming with me,” you repeat slowly, emphasizing every word which makes him lean back in approval. “It's not like you're doing this for free,” you mutter, catching his glare before you add. “But I appreciate it regardless.”

“I'm already regretting it.” he mutters back.

“Well, you're here, aren't you?” you retort, fixing your sharp tone. “Let's just enjoy it. Everything is gonna be fine and fun.”

You do sound like you're trying to convince yourself rather than him. He keeps his eyes on you for a moment longer, probably thinking the same thing but luckily, he doesn't comment on it as he ushers you to stand up so you can leave. 

The rest of the drive is spent in silence, your own nerves getting to you as you slowly start regretting going. Why, though? Because of Jungkook and your stupid argument? That's not a reason for you not to enjoy the weekend you've been excited about. Sure, it's not under the best conditions but still. Of course, you know you will not be able to enjoy it when you and Jungkook aren't on good terms at the moment. There's tension and an unspoken argument you should talk about. Maya was right. You're both stubborn and you don't plan to be the first one to crawl to him. 

Not necessarily. Depends how he's going to act. 

With each minute and the scenery you're starting to recognize, you consider asking Yoongi to make a u-turn and drive you back home. He would surely be happy. But you don't do that. Not even when it seems like everyone is already here, unpacking and sorting things that need to be taken care of before you can enjoy the proper camping. Jungkook's car is parked there, an awful reminder of him driving your friends.

After the little show you made before leaving Taehyung's place, Taehyung himself checked on you to make sure you really are going to get here by yourself. Petty you responded yes, you're going with Yoongi and Jungkook can drive his new friend in his fancy car. And yes, you worded it out like this. 

When you step out of the car, a set of greetings are thrown at you as Maya excitedly waves from the distance while she seems to be helping Namjoon set up their tent. Even Hoseok greets you with a friendly smile along with Jin, both of them informing you they're about to cook a meal since it takes time to set up the grill and prepare the meat. 

Their curiosity and attention is shown though, looking at Yoongi as all of them greet him friendly once you introduce him as your friend. You ignore the side glance Yoongi gives you and you hold yourself back from slapping his back. Luckily, even though he seems to be his usual grumpy self, he greets them back and listens to everyone as they introduce themselves to him. 

During all of this, all the breath is sucked out of you when Jungkook comes out of the parked caravan, holding a pack of coal in his hands. He looks up, obviously acknowledging the sudden and increased commotion and additional presence. The moment your eyes meet, you're not sure how to react and there's not really a space for you to do so because much to your shock, Jungkook looks away. He fucking looks away after two seconds of glancing at you before he bluntly ignores your presence.

Everyone seems to be too busy to even notice that awkward interaction, or the lack of, yet you still feel embarrassed and pissed by the way he just acted. And it's like the world mocks you because behind Jungkook is Ester, getting out of the caravan with packs of meat in her hands as Jungkook helps her. You watch their interaction as she shyly smiles at him, thanking him for his help as he smiles back at her and puts the packs down onto the small table prepared for Jin and Hoseok. 

They're already getting to work, surprisingly engaging Yoongi in a conversation as it seems he's helping them with cooking. Mentally fuming, you consider asking him for help but you know he would just ignore you or worse. 

“That one is yours.” Taehyung informs you, pointing at the unpacked tent tossed on the ground before he focuses on setting up theirs. He starts cursing while Jimin clutches to his stomach, laughing at Taehyung's distress. 

Glancing around, you find Jungkook and Ester building a tent together. You're not sure how he sorted out their tent situation and with whom she's sharing it. Not that you care.

Watching them setting it up makes your blood boil and you force yourself to look away with a clenched jaw. Not only do you see them right in front of you, you're left all alone with no help. You're not totally incompetent, so you get to work – mentally cursing at Yoongi for not even caring about helping you, not that it surprises you. At least it seems he's getting along with the guys. 

After a few minutes, it seems like you're doing a good job but you're not quite sure what step to do next. Sighing under your breath, you toss one of the poles on the ground. 

“Need help?”

Looking up, you find Jungkook with two bottles of sparkling water, holding them in one hand, tattooed fingers wrapped around its neck.

The tone he uses is cold and it's enough for you to feel too prideful to accept his shitty attempt to help you.

“No.” You respond with the same tone, looking away.

“Fine, suit yourself.”

Your jaw drops to the floor. You watch him walking away, joining Ester in front of their ready tent they've set up together as he hands her the bottle of water. Fucking– 

You did tell him no. He didn't even greet you and now he tried to help you? If that can even be considered as helping you because his attempt was surely poor.

“Do you need help? Maya said you're struggling.” Namjoon asks, standing next to you as he shoots you a dimpled smile as you glance at Maya who's setting up their sleeping bags. 

She shoots you a thumbs up with a big grin as you put your lips into a thin line. “Yes, thank you.”

Namjoon has your tent ready in less than five minutes, you've let him do his own thing since it seems like you're getting in way more than helping. Thanking him, you finally join the others while he goes to help struggling Taehyung and Jimin.

It's when Jungkook and Ester go fetch the water together, someone already gets curious even though they must've been informed about her coming too. “Are the two of them dating?” Jin asks curiously, flipping the beef.

“What? No, they're just friends.” Taehyung answers, giving you a glance which you bravely ignore, equally as Jimin's side glance. 

“Really? For how long? I've never seen her before.” Jin wonders loudly as this time, he looks at you completely oblivious to the argument you and Jungkook had, clearly asking the question since you're his best friend. 

“For like five minutes?” you mutter pettily, hearing Taehyung snort as Jimin nudges him.

Your little remark catches Jin's attention as he looks up again, giving you a weird look just as Hoseok does the same. You clear your throat, swallowing down the embarrassment at your obvious jab. 

“Just recently.” Taehyung tries to rescue you. Luckily the guys redirect their attention elsewhere and the topic of Jungkook's new friendship is no longer discussed. 

Much to your surprise, Yoongi seems to be getting along with Hoseok the most. The two of them have been talking for hours, in fact, you're not quite sure if you've seen Yoongi talking this much. Even his grumpy mood seems to go aside as you're a witness of his grin or anything that's not a frown or a glare. At least he's enjoying his time here. Not that you're not but things feel weird with Jungkook right there when you're successfully ignoring each other.

If any of them noticed it, and you know they did, they don't question it. 

“I see you still haven't talked.” Maya says after you've finished having a quick bite. 

Taehyung just proposed to go to the lake to cool down, since the heat seems to not be coming down even with the sun slowly setting. You and Maya are inside the caravan for some privacy as she walks around the corner in a bikini. You're still wearing your clothes, wondering if you even want to get into the water.

“No.” you confirm, looking away as she gives you a pitiful gaze with a pout. 

“Maybe you should talk to him.” 

Your head snaps in her direction, causing her to chuckle as she puts her hands up in surrender. Sighing, you relax as you scratch your cheek. “I'll just enjoy my time here.”

“You better start because you've been grumpy since you came here.” Maya signs out, cackling when you toss her shirt at her. 

In the distance, you can already hear others laugh followed by water splashing. “Wait up for me. I'll be right back.” you tell her, snatching your swimsuit as she salutes you, shooting you another smirk. 

The white swimsuit you've chosen this time is pretty casual, not revealing too much but still wraps your figure nicely. The top of your breasts are shown but besides that, it's pretty decent. You didn't make the same mistake like the last time, forgetting to pack one and you put it in your bag just in case. You're glad you did.

You don't necessarily feel nervous about wearing a swimsuit in front of the guys, but there is something sitting in the pit of your stomach when you look at yourself in the mirror, trying to see if anything is peeking out. This is the first time they will see you wearing it. It's not a big deal. You're not insecure about your body, even though it depends on the situation. Regardless of that, you don't show it off. There haven't been many opportunities for Jimin and Taehyung to see you in one. You don't count Jungkook since he has seen you naked, which can't be compared to wearing a freaking swimsuit or bikini.

It does feel slightly weird to come out of the caravan revealing more skin. Maya on the other hand looks completely unbothered. Maybe you should take her as an example. She's showing more skin than you do and she doesn't look as if she cares about anyone. 

Like you said, it's not about insecurity but knowing you're revealing yourself to them more than ever. Having their eyes on you and all that… You're being silly. They're your friends and you know they're no perverts. The problem is in you but you decide not to pay attention to it any longer, the heat slowly killing you as you can't wait to get into the water. 

“You're not coming?” you ask Yoongi, finding him still helping Jin and Hoseok with the cooking.

You catch their attention, their eyes respectively moving back to their task as they start discussing something relevant to food.

“Not a chance.” Yoongi replies, scrunching his nose as he looks at the nearby lake.

Chuckling at his evident displeasure, you don't comment on it but still ask. “You're gonna be fine here?”

He stares for a moment, “Yeah, surprisingly your friends aren't that bad.” he replies shamelessly and you gasp, ready to scold him about his impoliteness because there's no way Seokjin and Hoseok haven't caught that.

But much to your shock, they cackle at Yoongi's remark. “Yah, be good to us!” Jin says jokingly while Hoseok laughs while you stare at them dumbfounded. They act like they've been friends for years. 

Giving them a side glance, you consider this conversation done as you join Maya who's been waiting for you. You both walk toward the lake, seeing the rest of the group already there. What makes your breath hitch is not the amount of naked chests and abs you get to see – even though that's a sight to see – it's none other than Jungkook himself. He's in the water that's reaching up to his waist. His black hair wet as he shakes his head, droplets of water flying around him before he brushes his fingers through it. His tattooed arm is on full display as you swallow dryly, slowly averting your gaze to Maya who's gawking just as much as you do.

“Well fuck.” 

“Maya.” you frown, her eyes slowly and not very willingly shifting to you. 

“What,” she mutters. “Joon, baby!” she calls out to Namjoon who's getting out of water, grinning at his girlfriend. 

You raise a brow at her when she glances at you with a grin. 

“What, he would understand. He’s my boyfriend and I love him .”

She rushes to Namjoon as he hugs her, wetting her dry skin as she squeals his name and lets him attack her with kisses all over her face. Cute . Hand in hand, they both get to water together as the loving couple is in their own world. Great .

Stepping closer and taking a good glance at your surroundings, you spot Ester sitting on a towel still in her clothes and a book on her lap. She's not reading though, looking at the guys with a tiny smile. A bucket hat shields her face and head from the heat.

Seeing her like this, alone makes you feel bad for her. You know your stupid annoyance and jealousy is not her fault. God, you're such an idiot. You're close to dropping to your knees and apologizing to her, that's how desperate you're starting to feel. From the looks of it, she doesn't seem to know about what happened between you and Jungkook which makes you feel better. You would feel like the biggest asshole if she knew.

“Are you not going?” you ask softly, catching her attention as she sees you pointing at the lake. 

“Ah, no. I didn't bring a swimsuit but it doesn't matter. I'm not a big fan of water anyway.” She smiles warmly.

You're not sure if that's a lie or not. Apart from Jungkook whom she's friends with, she obviously knows Taehyung and Jimin but they're not very close, she's here with strangers. Not just any woman would be comfortable wearing a swimsuit in front of others when this is her first time meeting them.

“You sure? We could borrow you a shirt or something.” you propose, her face showing you gratitude as she gives you a tiny giggle. 

“No, it's alright. I can't swim, don't want to risk it. But maybe I'll dip my toes in later. This heat makes my skin melt.”

You chuckle, nodding in understanding. For some reason, you still linger around. “Are you…” She looks at you again, tilting her head up in curiosity. You clear your throat before offering her an unsure smile. “Are you having fun so far?” 

“Oh, yes!” she beams happily. “Everyone is so nice to me. I'm happy to be here. Thank you for letting me join.”

Your stomach drops and your smile falters, the corners of your lips almost shaking. Idiot, idiot, idiot. You're so mad at yourself. She's such a nice girl and here you are, feeling like a total dick because you made a scene about her joining you. Couldn’t she be a bitch? It would certainly make things easier for you. 

“Of course.” you feign a smile, your voice tiny.

“Oh!” She lets out, patting the space around her as she searches for something until she finds it. “I've got sunscreen here. Do you wanna borrow it?” 

You mentally groan at her kindness. “Thank you, that would be great. I forgot mine in the bag.” 

She hands it to you, grabbing her book as you stare at her for a moment, the corners of your mouth threatening to turn downwards at your own stupidity. You start applying it, starting with your legs and you do that for a while until your name is called behind you. Turning around, you find Yoongi walking toward you with a displeased expression. You almost want to laugh at how grumpy he suddenly looks. 

“They've sent you guys this to drink.” Oh, right . A pack of bottles of water in his hand.

“Aw, you came all the way here to give us these?” you tease him, staring at him as he puts the pack on the ground as he shoots you an annoyed expression. 

“Stop annoying me.” he grumbles and turns around to leave but you stop him.

You hear some water splashing again, along with Jimin's contagious laugh but you grab the sunscreen again and shove it in Yoongi's direction. It all seems to be bad timing because just as you're opening your mouth, Jungkook walks in your direction, staring at the grass beneath his feet. 

“Can you apply this on my back?” 

Just as you ask this, Jungkook's head lifts up and he's literally two meters away from you as he stops next to Ester. Your eyes meet for a split second but you quickly glance at Yoongi, finding him frowning at your request and the sunscreen in your hand. Meanwhile Jungkook reaches for his own towel that you've failed to notice before. He runs it over his hair to dry them off as he wipes the droplets of water off his forehead. 

Yoongi's eyes shift between your hand and eyes. “Do I really have to?”

You're gonna kill this man. 

“Yes.” you say through clenched teeth, shoving it to his chest as he shifts backwards a little. Then his eyes fall behind you, undoubtedly staring at Jungkook before his lips curl into a tiny smirk. 

Yoongi motions for you to turn around and you do, right met with Jungkook's eyes as he shamelessly stares at your face. You're so surprised that you momentarily freeze on the spot before you shake yourself out of it. 

“You good?” Jungkook asks Ester, both of them having a conversation right next to you and Yoongi as he starts applying the sunscreen on your shoulders. 

“Yes! Thank you again for inviting me. This place is so peaceful, this is definitely better than just hanging out in Seoul.” she smiles which makes Jungkook chuckle in return. But he has the audacity to stare you dead in the eyes right after.

You know what he's doing. He knows you heard her.

“Trouble in paradise?” Yoongi whispers into your ear as you mildly flinch. 

“Fuck off.”

“I will take that as a yes,” he muses behind you which makes you roll your eyes. “Your boyfriend is not so secretive with the glares.”

“Shut up.” 

You both know Jungkook doesn't like him. Actually, they don't like each other especially after their last encounter which you're glad didn't end up with a fist fight. It seems like Yoongi finds it amusing. He is a little shit after all, maybe he's enjoying this more than you thought.

“Ow, don't be so harsh!” you suddenly scold the man behind you when he slaps the sunscreen into your skin. He's not very tender with it. 

“I thought you liked it harsh .” he jokes, pinching your hip but that's the least of your worries when your eyes fall automatically on Jungkook. What the hell is Yoongi doing?

He glares the shit out of Yoongi, tossing his towel on the ground not too tenderly either which makes Ester surprised. 

“Can you two take it somewhere else?” he questions, eyes dark even under the bright sunlight. His tone has an edge to it, though he still makes it sound as if he's asking the most casual thing. 

You can't seem to react, too stunned to speak. 

“No, we're done here.” Yoongi muses, turning you around as he hands you the sunscreen back. He shoots you a wink before he retrieves back and walks back to the camping space. 

You thank Ester for her sunscreen, putting it on her beach bag as she smiles at you, clearly sensing the weird atmosphere in the air but she tries to not react. 

“Is he your boyfriend?” she asks innocently suddenly, asking timidly as if she's scared her head is going to be bitten off.

Before you can answer, not hiding your disgust and surprise, Jungkook scoffs under his breath which makes you frown. “Do you have a problem, Jungkook ?” you say his name with an attitude which makes him rub his finger under his nose as he scoffs again. 

He faces you with a straight face, running his hand over his hair again. You ignore him, ignoring the handsome motherfucker as you turn to Ester and give her your sweetest smile. “No, he's just my friend.” 

Glancing at Jungkook again, you find him giving you an amusing expression. Fucker . You both know Yoongi isn't exactly your friend. You're not even sure how you should categorize him other than your co-worker. He finds it all amusing. He lives for your pettiness because you both know it was the reason why you invited him in the first place. But Jungkook has to give it to you. You've managed to convince him. 

“What?” you ask in a deadpan manner at Jungkook. “Actually, no. Don't answer that. If you have any problem, take it somewhere else.” you feign the sweetest smile, not hiding your face from him when it drops as you make your way to the lake.

You can feel Jungkook's glare burning your back. It's safe to say it burns more than the sun above you. 

Despite your previous interaction with Jungkook, you're trying to enjoy your time here as much as you can. It's tough, the whole situation sits bitterly in the back of your mind and whatever you do, it's just right there . Just like he is. You can't exactly avoid him, it's impossible since you're on this trip together. Whenever you look, he is right there. It's even tougher to ignore his presence, but you two do it successfully and minus the weird stares you get from your friends, nobody seems to question the tension between you and him. 

All of you get called to eat after the fun at the lake. The talking never stops, it's almost impossible with this many people and you're glad for that. No attention is turned to you and Jungkook, so it helps with all the embarrassment of them having to witness you two ignoring each other. 

“Do you guys know the gender?” Hoseok asks Seokjin, lips pursed as he munches on the food they prepared.

Seokjin just ended a call with his wife a few minutes ago. She was kind enough to say hi to everyone when he put her on speaker. That's what has sparked the conversation of their soon to be changed life.

“Ah, so,” Jin sits upright as he wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Jia's cousin was pregnant and they told her she's expecting a boy. Turned out to be a girl in the end,” he chuckles as do some of you. “We've known the gender for a while, we just didn't reveal it. In case–you know. It's silly but yeah.”

“Okay, I know shit about babies let alone pregnancies. But aren't those scans pretty accurate?” Taehyung asks with a full mouth, not even looking at Jin as he stares into his plate, too hungry to engage himself in this conversation more. You hide your smile. 

“I'm more interested in how you know about this.” Jimin teases, laughing when Taehyung flips him off effortlessly.

“Yeah, they are accurate most of the time but there are cases when it's mistaken.” Jin answers casually. “Anyway, we're expecting a little boy.”

The reaction is not what you would see if more women would be around. It's actually funny how the guys stay casual about it, some of them slightly gasping before nodding while the others just congrats. There are no squeals of happiness and excitement you see amongst women and the whole moment is amusing to you. Yet, you can feel they're happy for Jin in their own way as they congratulate him with wide and warm grins.

“Do you have any names?” Namjoon asks, engaging himself in the conversation as he puts more food into his mouth.

“No. It's so fucking hard to name another person.” Jin whines a little, laughing at his despair as some of the guys join. 

“You'll find the one when the time comes, Jin.” Namjoon assures him, squeezing his shoulder in support as the older smiles before he takes a sip of his beer. 

Namjoon takes the topic of conversation elsewhere as he asks about everyone's plans, not forgetting to mention he wants to go, of course, hiking. Apparently he has found a new spot and he would like to check it out tomorrow preferably. He asks who wants to join and you have to bite back a grin when Yoongi silently scrunches his nose, remaining silent as Hoseok, Jimin, Jin and Jungkook along with Ester agree to go. Maya watches him admirably, smiling at him because everyone most likely finds him and his love for nature adorable. Either way, he likes to stay active by walking long paths and mountains which can't be said about Yoongi and Taehyung. 

Either way, Taehyung likes to stay active in a different way and mountains can't give it to him. The last time you remember when you went hiking on last year's trip, he kept complaining along with you.

Seokjin goes to grab another beer for himself, silently excusing himself from the group. You do the same thing when Hoseok mentions something about snacks and you offer to go. He smiles at you in gratitude before he complains about the heat, fanning his face with his cap. 

“Get me one too, yeah?” Yoongi mumbles to you when you pass him, angling his head while he stays seated. 

“Get one yourself.” you reply, wanting to cackle when you see his little glare. Snickering, you poke the side of his head and happily jump away when he goes to slap your hand, frowning because he doesn't succeed. 

You both know you're going to get him the beer anyway. 

When you're inside the caravan, you find Seokjin opening the fridge as he pulls out a full six pack of beer. You exchange little smiles as you go gather the other things. 

“Are you having fun?” Jin asks, filling the silence as he sets the beer on a small counter, showing no interest in leaving. 

“Yeah, don't I look like it?” you chuckle, causing him to do the same.

There's a bit of silence while you rummage through a cabinet, grabbing some snacks for Hoseok not knowing which ones he specifically wants. You get one of each, some of the guys will want to share it for sure. 

“So… Yoongi,” he starts, chuckling when he sees you looking up at him, raising a brow in question.

“Yeah?”

“Interesting guy.”

That causes you to straighten up. “Did he say something? God, I'm gonna kill him if he was rude to you or–”

“No, no,” Seokjin assures you, rubbing his nose as he chuckles deeply. “He's actually nice.”

That makes you snicker and you try to hide it but there's no point. Seokjin's eyes are on you and you're pretty sure his ears are completely fine too. The look of amusement on his face is enough to let you know he has heard and seen. 

“Is he your friend?” 

Is he? You don't know yourself. Well, he's here but that doesn't make him a friend, does it? You still can't believe you've managed to convince him to come. It's not for free though. You can't forget that and fuck, you don't want to think about the next two months and what is expected of you. 

“... yeah.”

Seokjin snorts loudly, clearing his throat to collect himself. “That didn't sound convincing.” 

“What do you want me to say?” you laugh, “We work together.” 

“Oh, yeah he mentioned that.”

That makes your brows raise in curiosity. “Mentioned?”

“Yeah, we sort of played detectives on him with Hobi,” he jokes, “We were curious.”

He has a headband to keep his long dark hair off his face. It sharpens his brows and features.

“Don't worry, he was lovely.”

“That's… hard to believe.” you mutter more to  yourself.

“So, he's not your boyfriend then?”

Your eyes almost jump out of their sockets as you abruptly clear your throat. “Oh my god, no. Why would you think that?” you exclaim, causing him to laugh at your distressed face.

You actually know why. It certainly made some of them wonder if Yoongi truly is your friend only. Little do they know. It actually amuses you right after it disgusted you though. 

“Sorry, I just wondered. I hope you don't find me too nosy or annoying. He's actually nice, we had a good chat with him.”

You ignore the compliments about the most annoying person you know, shaking your head slightly to assure him that it's okay. “No, he's just a friend.”

“And Jungkook doesn't like him?”

That makes your eyes snap to him abruptly, raising your brows before you breathe out a shaky laugh. “Why would you think that?” 

“Come on, it doesn't take much to notice it.”

Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. The face you make causes him to widen his eyes in a mere panic, shaking his hands as if to stop your embarrassment. 

“I just meant they never talk. Not that it matters, shit, forgot I even said anything.” 

You laugh out loud, “It's fine. They're not buddies, that's true.”

He nods in understatement. ”Well, I think he's a great guy so far. Bring him next time too.”

Yeah, like that will ever happen. 

You shoot him a smile though, “Sure.” 

The door of the caravan opens, Taehyung's fluffy hair is the first thing you see. “What's taking you guys so long?” he complains before even properly shutting the door. 

“We're coming.” You roll your eyes.

“Are you gossiping here without me?”

Seokjin grabs his stuff, brushing past Taehyung but not before patting his shoulder mockingly. “We would never dare to do that, Tae.” And then he leaves, leaving Taehyung with an amused grin.

“Fucker.” he mumbles.

Laughing a little, you start gathering your things. Since he's here, you might as well use his help. But your friend seems to have a different plan because as you look up, ready to ask him to grab some of the things, you find him leaning against the wall with a smug grin. 

“What?” you ask uninterested. 

“I get it you and Jungkook haven't talked yet.”

Sighing, you lean your lower back against the provisional counter. “If you take childish remarks as talking, then yes.”

“You're kidding.”

Chuckling, you shake your head. “No. We had a little… I don't even know what to call it, banter? Doesn't sound right… Anyway, it happened when we were at the lake.”

“No way!” he exclaims, “And I missed that?”

Taehyung's grin turns even more cheeky when he sees the look of annoyance on your face. He straightens himself, scratching his temple. Whatever Taehyung thinks about this whole argument between you and Jungkook, he only shows his amusement for it.

“Did Jin ask about Kook?”

“No, not about that specifically. I mean, none of these people are blind, right?”

He snorts silently, “You and Kook are usually very talkative and affectionate, of course they see something's wrong. But hey, at least they're not putting you in a spot, right?”

“It's not any of their business, is it?”

“That's true too.” he hums.

“We talked about Yoongi,” you say after a moment. “With Jin, I mean.”

“Oh,” Taehyung sounds surprised. “He's kinda nice, no? Grumpy for my taste but none of us is perfect.” 

That makes you giggle as you nod in agreement. “He does seem to be more… relaxed and talkative than usual.” 

“God, can't imagine how he is at work.”

“You don't want to know that.”

You both start laughing. Taehyung is not clueless about your co-worker's specific personality. Not just him, but the three of them had to listen to you complaining about him a few times. You would get so heated up, that in a way it was their source of entertainment. 

“Come on, let's go.” Taehyung motions his head toward the door, but not before he goes to you and helps you without you asking for it. 

With an appreciative look, you both get out of the caravan and bring the drinks and snacks to the table. Just as you're putting it down, you lift up your gaze finding Jungkook looking sideways as he empties the rest of his beer can. He crumples the aluminum and tosses it to the bag that's intended for trash. The last thing you notice is the way he tongues his cheek, jaw sharp and clenched, before you go back to your seat.

After everyone's stomachs are full, Maya and Namjoon decide to go on a walk and explore the surroundings a little. Politely, they ask if anyone wants to join and they're met with heads shaking. You're sure they wanted some alone time anyway. 

You and Hoseok clean the small table and gather all the trash, which he goes to throw away. You've been here for a couple of hours and you've managed to fill up the whole trash bag. Ester helps a little too, before she goes inside the caravan because apparently, the heat is not doing her well. You ignore the moment when Jungkook asks her if she needs anything, attentive and caring as always. You ignore Taehyung's subtle smirk that he barely hides when your glances meet in the midst of it. 

And Yoongi? 

The man annoys you to the core. Not only has he barely moved since he came here – which wouldn't be that big of a problem at all – but he doesn't even ask if you need help when you go to the car to grab blankets and sleeping bags for the two of you. You're not able to grab everything anyway, leaving you to grab a piece of each. But when you call out his name, ignoring the little frown on his lips, he finally lifts up his ass and walks up to you. 

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“What does it look like?” you mutter under your breath, already annoyed. “Sorting out our tent?” 

The second you say that, it's not the tone you use that causes Yoongi to almost choke on his spit, but it's what you say. Then his expression relaxes and he lets out a humorous chuckle. “Our?”

You raise your brows and give him a duh look. “Yes?” you ask with an equally dumb tone. “Where did you think you were going to sleep?”

“Not with you!” he exclaims, grasping everyone's attention with his overly dramatic reaction and including Jungkook's who's showing something on his phone to Jimin. It's enough that they both look up from the device, undoubtedly hearing Yoongi. 

“Feel free to sleep under the bare sky, then.” You shrug your shoulders, dismissing him and the gasp he lets out. 

“Are you serious right now?” He grabs your forearm, stopping you in your tracks. “You dragged me here and never told me about this. I thought I had–I don't know, fucking space where I can sleep. Alone.”

“Oh, don't flatter yourself. Is that such a big deal? The tent is big enough for both–”

He lifts his palm up to shush you, currently reliving his life crisis while Jimin timidly approaches the two of you. 

“I don't mean to butt in, but there should be one space free in the caravan.” 

“What? I thought we're out of tents and space.” Confused is what you are. 

“Uh, yeah. There are two single beds in the caravan, Hobi and Ester are staying there. But Ester said she's fine sleeping in a tent if someone wants to sleep inside. Maybe she could share a tent with you?”

Jimin sounds unsure, his attention fully on your expression as you look behind him and find Jungkook staring right back at you. Irritation stirs inside you.

“Caravan sounds better than a tent, anyway.” Yoongi replies.

“Why does she not share it with her friend?” you question instead, fully ignoring Yoongi who carefully eyes you and Jungkook with his sharp eyes. You know Jungkook has heard you, your voice has grown an octave higher and he scoffs loudly enough for you to hear. 

“Why don't you share it with yours?” he questions back, your jaw almost on the floor. You catch yourself just at the right time.

“I don't like camping that much.” Yoongi butts in, voice indifferent.

“Why did you come then?” Jungkook presses, clearly showing his inhospitality. This banter causes Jin to stand up, trying to see what's going on while seated Hoseok tugs on his arm.

“To piss you off apparently.” Yoongi shoots right back and you rub your forehead.

“That's not… that's not why he came.” You try to clarify to everyone. Stupid Min Yoongi! Why can't he keep his mouth shut? 

“Not apparently, it's pretty clear.” Jungkook talks back and you facepalm yourself, just as Jimin tries to get control of this situation. 

“Alright, everyone, let's take a breather. No need for any fights here.”

“I'm not fighting.”  

Both of them speak at the same time.

“Let her deal with it, Jimin-ah.” Jungkook says and you can only gape at the audacity. 

“Let me deal with it?” you exclaim over Jimin's shoulder, glaring right at Jungkook who literally laughs in your face with that sarcastic grin. 

“Yeah. Why should Ester lose her spot because of your friend? You should've arranged it for your friend, just like I did for her.”

Both of you are so fucking petty, but you're not backing down and just as you fume, Jimin squeezes your shoulder to comfort you, but it only does so little. 

“Yeah, you've arranged a lot of things.” you sarcastically remark, seeing him stare deadly at you as he clenches his jaw. 

“God, you're like kids in a candy store.” Yoongi exhales exhaustedly. “I'm gonna sleep in the fucking tent.” He is genuinely exhausted, despite his vulgarism, his tone is calm and tired. He thinks of this topic to be dealt with, but he doesn't know how stubborn you and Jungkook are. And petty. Childish too, but he probably figured that out by now.

“I'm sure you won't mind that.” Jungkook says, causing Jimin to sigh as you start scoffing loudly, not believing his words. To some, it might be just a remark but you know exactly what he's hinting at. He's making you a payback for your earlier remark. It's back and forth between you.

It makes Jimin clasp his hands tightly. “Thank you, Yoongi. These two can be difficult sometimes.”

Not that Yoongi himself wasn't difficult. If he never said anything about sharing a tent with you, you wouldn't be here and having a glaring contest with Jungkook. And you ignore how fucking hot he looks while being worked up. But all you want is to strangle him. 

Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, walking away to join Jin and Hoseok, but you don't see their reaction. Jimin eyes you and Jungkook equally, motioning for Jungkook to come closer. He scoffs but then Jimin says through clenched teeth; “Get here.”

Jungkook glares but listens. Jimin wraps his arms around your and Jungkook's shoulders, pulling you closer to his body. So close that you can smell Jungkook's freaking aftershave and overall scent. It does make you slightly regret opening your mouth. The scent is too nostalgic and it's making you sad.

Jimin forces himself to smile as he inhales a long breath. “I can see how you two are handling this perfectly.” 

You tense. He's talking about the conversation you previously had at Taehyung's place. 

Jungkook shrugs off Jimin's arm around his shoulders, walking away with his jaw locked in irritation. You realize your own jaw is clenched, ignoring Jimin's burning gaze to the side of your face before his arm loosens up. He walks away, leaving you to your thoughts that don't last too long. You occupy yourself by finishing your previous task, tossing the other blanket and sleeping bag rather aggressively into your tent.

Taehyung comes back from whatever place he was, wearing a new shirt.

“What did I miss?” he asks everyone.

He's met with silence. 

Everything and everyone bounces back from the stunt you and Jungkook have pulled. Except the two of you, of course. It might be because they don't want to make things awkward or known , or they simply don't want a trip full of drama. That's where the guilt comes again. The idea of ruining everyone's time here because of your own drama upsets you. What upsets you the most though, is obviously your current relationship with Jungkook.

Ignoring each other has continued right after he walked away as it’s continuing when everyone gathers around the campfire. The mood is positive, alive and even pleasant. It's not different from the last time you were here, and you're sure it's not any different from all the trips they experienced together. There's chattering and laughter, whether it's in a small group or almost everyone, accompanied with more alcohol and food.

The campfire lits your surroundings, keeping you warm as the sun has set a few hours ago and there's a moon above your heads. Therefore you've changed to a pair of old sweats and oversized hoodie, looking similarly to everyone else. You and Maya have been talking alone, letting the guys and Ester have their own conversation. For once, you're glad she doesn't bring up Jungkook again and instead shows you the venue of their wedding. That's what gets your attention for most parts and you're glad from the nice distraction. 

At least you don't have to avoid the direction of where Jungkook's sitting, even though his voice always finds you as he hangs out with his friends. You don't want to wonder how it would be if things were okay between you. You would've laughed with him, or would have something to say when he talks about a convenience store snack, one whose name he can't remember but you do. 

A group of two always leave to take a shower and do their night routine in the nearby building that's a part of the campsite. You've done it the last time too. It's one of the pros of this place. You get to spend a night or two sleeping outside, while still being able to use their services. It's approximately five minutes of walking, still out of sight though since you're surrounded by nearby trees. It leaves enough privacy for you as a group. There are other campsites where you literally have “neighbors” within a few feet away from each other. You're glad about this spot the guys have found. 

Since Yoongi doesn't know this place and literally anyone else could show him, you take it as your responsibility to be the one since you're the one who invited him in the first place. You've known him the longest. It wouldn't be nice to send someone else with him. Not that he seems to care, mindlessly grabbing his small bag of toiletries as you do the same. You're not going to waste the time by waiting for him. You might as well take a shower too. 

The walk there is quiet. No words are exchanged. You look for the right words, but you can't find anything. That leaves you to be silent until you reach the medium sized cabin, showing him the men's bathrooms after greeting the elder man at the desk. 

Much to your surprise, you're the first one who finishes first. For a moment you wonder if Yoongi has already left. You somehow thought you're going to wait for each other, even though he knows the way back by now. It leaves you curious so you ask the man if he has seen Yoongi leaving. He shakes his head and continues to check through some papers he hides behind the desk. You stay seated at the small rest area with two sofas.

Shortly after, Yoongi comes out with wet hair wearing white shirt and simple black sweatpants. He spots you, not showing any kind of emotion but you would've guessed he's surprised to see you waiting for him.

“Finished?” you question, standing up as he gives you a nod. 

Walking outside, you're met with fresh air and luckily for everyone, tonight seems to be warm. The constant silence does make you slightly uncomfortable, or perhaps it's the need to say something. Anything. 

“I'm sorry for dragging you here.”

Not sure where that came from, you stare ahead as you can detect his eyes on you. Yoongi is a tough guy to convince about anything. Deep down you're aware that you had a deal and if he truly didn't want to come, he wouldn't agree to it. It's because you look back to the earlier incident and you do feel bad for dragging him into it. 

“I am not.” he replies, leaving you wide-eyed as you glance at him.

“You're not?”

“No,” he says simply. “Maybe I'm no fan of nature and camping, but it's nice to get out of the city. Besides, some of your friends are nice.”

You roll your eyes at the emphasis, knowing exactly who he's talking about. You bite the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from saying that Jungkook isn't bad. He is not. He is definitely not a bad person. You know you're the reason why Jungkook was never fond of Yoongi in the first place. He has always had your back, so when he heard you complaining about one specific co-worker that can be extremely rude and grumpy, he was having none of it. Then it's the obvious tension between them.

Both of them don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Not that you're one to talk. It's like they can't help it but get a rise of each other whenever there's a chance. You think it might have to do something with male ego. 

“I almost can't believe they're your friends.”

Snapping your head in his direction, he notices your glare without even looking at you as a playful smile plays on his lips. It leaves you huffing in return. 

“I guess I'm just embarrassed about earlier.” you continue the conversation, ignoring his way of teasing.

“As you should,” he hums and you gasp. “What? The two of you act like little kids.”

Like he's one to talk! “You were provoking him too, Yoongi. And don't say you didn't because you did and you know it.”

The corner of his mouth twitches. “Maybe.”

You huff out, chuckling at his answer mostly in disbelief. “You two are like kids too.” you mutter.

“Hold on, he's reactive too. He's not afraid to say shit. He's infuriating just as he's hot.”

You start coughing immediately.

“I'm gonna ignore that you just said he's hot.”

Yoongi shrugs with a grin, amused by your reaction and mostly the way your nose twitches. 

“Plus, you really are provoking him. I thought you liked it rough ,” you mimic his voice, “Seriously? What were you thinking?”

“I was just messing around!” he exclaims, laughing shortly after.

“It's not funny!” you exclaim back, nudging his side as he barely falters, grin still intact on his lips. “That's not just messing around.” you whine a little.

“Come on, it was worth it. The look on his face.” he continues to joke and you whine again. 

“This is not some contest of who pisses off the other more, Yoongi. It's already hard that me and him–” you sigh, “Are not on good terms. I don't want you to get into a fight. You're pushing his buttons.”

“Are you warning me?” he laughs.

“No!” you exclaim, “Jungkook isn't like that .” Aggressive, is what you mean. “But I wouldn't put it past him. You really are pushing his buttons.”

“Didn't he punch your ex before?” He feigns uncertainty, tapping his chin lightly. “That doesn't sound nonaggressive.” 

“Because he slutshamed me, I told you that.” you justify with a remember? Tone.

“Anyway,” He dismisses you. “You two should talk. Like adults.”

Trust me, I know. 

Surprisingly, he doesn't tease you when he's met with silence that says everything.

By the time all of you sit at the campfire, right after everyone went to clean themselves, you're not even sure what time it is. You've left your phone in one of your bags, not bothering to check any messages knowing there's no one who would contact you. Your family knows you're away during the weekend, therefore they won't call you unless you do. Using your phone while being surrounded by nature and enjoying the weekend from all the hectic noise, crowded places and busy traffic sounds illegal. It's nice to see others not having their noses stuck in phone screens. 

It is something you've always appreciated while hanging out with them. Not that you're against using phones, not at all. You've seen Seokjin calling Jia countless times, making sure everything is alright back home and so is she. That you can absolutely understand.

As much as you get a little compulsion to browse through the internet, anything to make you distracted enough to not think about you and Jungkook. You've decided not to do that. There are other ways of not acknowledging him, even though it's been hard.

It seems like everyone has told you to talk to him. You're exaggerating. It was only Jimin… and even freaking Min Yoongi! Well, it's not like you don't know that. You two should really talk and get things right before you ruin this trip, but mostly importantly ruin your friendship. This is not one of the arguments that could possibly break or ruin it. You don't want to think about it because that possibility scares you.

But you're still hurt. Hurt enough not wanting to talk about it right now. Even if it means you and him ignore each other for the rest of the trip. It's not ideal, far from it actually. You've imagined this trip differently. He did too, surely. 

Stubbornness does the trick.

So you sit, letting the fire warm your cheeks as you laugh here and there at whatever is said funnily.

“Truth or dare?” Taehyung proposes when you're out of things to talk, having one of his arms lazily draped over his lap. He's wearing shorts, feeling too warm to wear something longer since the alcohol is naturally warming up his body. 

Of course he proposes this game. He always does. If it's not truth or dare specifically, it's always something that makes you drink more.

He must be feeling adventurous, considering Hoseok's and Jin's faces are already red. Namjoon had to stop drinking half an hour ago because the alcohol in his system was starting to show up. Maya doesn't care though, she drinks more than her boyfriend, clearly able to hold more alcohol than him. She's giggly and clutches to her boyfriend's side, who showers her with a dimpled smile from time to time. 

“Or never have I ever?” he wiggles his brows.

The horrific memories of playing that stupid game makes you open your mouth before you realize. “Hell no.”

Taehyung snickers, clearly amused by the evident aversion. “Then truth or dare?”

No one seems to share the same opinion like you, and you're left disappointed when hums and words of approval and excitement resound around the fire. Taehyung ignores your narrowed eyes and displeasure he sees across the fire, having a good view of it. 

“Great!” He's already preparing drinks for everyone, making sure everyone has one in their hand while looking excited for any possible embarrassing moments, or even drama you know he loves. He looks like a little kid on Christmas. 

You don't care, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your hoodie as you shift further down your seat. Your cheeks are warm, both from fire and beer you've drank. You're not getting tired which means you're not tipsy or drunk yet.

“Isn't it a game for teenagers?” You hear Yoongi grumble beside you, making you crack a smile. Surprisingly, he still holds his drink and seems to join the game anyway. 

Taehyung calls your name, gaining not only yours but everyone's attention. “The beer.” he chirps in, reminding you. You swallow down the annoyance as you lick your lips.

“I'm not playing.” you simply state, ignoring the eyes of others on you. No one here would judge you for not playing some stupid game. You know that. It does feel slightly uncomfortable to feel their eyes on you at this moment, plus there's undeniable surprise and even curiosity in some of them. 

“What, why?” Taehyung whines like you – not playing – ruins the entire game. 

Well, it might have. You feel like you have a lot of tea to bring to the table. Or fire, if you want to be more accurate. Taehyung can be a little shit though. He knows many things. With him being tipsy, you're not quite sure what he would ask. You've got to be careful around him.

“Because you ask a bunch of shit every time.” you reply casually.

Taehyung's brows raise in a feign offense, knowing something like this wouldn't offend him in the first place. It's the little chuckle you hear from one specific direction, one you've been avoiding for the entire evening. Before you realize it, you're already looking in Jungkook's direction as your gazes meet at the same time. He quickly looks away, clearing his throat as he takes a swig off his beer. 

When you look back at Taehyung, he pouts. “You're no fun. Even Yoongi is playing!”

“Is that supposed to make me wanna play?” You quirk your brow at your friend. 

“I heard his comment! Yet he's still playing.” Taehyung grins as Yoongi shrugs.

“I'm not boring like she is.”

You gasp, huffing beside him. Taehyung laughs, leaving you alone as the game begins.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Taehyung asks after a few rounds. 

You've had fun, laughed at some ridiculous dares. You've seen Maya licking soju off Namjoon's stomach, leaving him flustered and all red. Jungkook has spanked Seokjin's butt and Jungkook had to do push ups with Ester sitting on his back. The last one didn't exactly leave you laughing for obvious reasons. Ester seemed to loosen up and she giggled all throughout the dare, while Jungkook lifted her weight as if it's nothing. 

“I said I'm not playing.” you grumble, pushing back the burp that wants to be let out. 

“Come on, just one round.” Hoseok chirps in, nudging you in your shoulder gently as you sigh. 

Looking at Taehyung, he gives you a wide smile that makes you roll your eyes. Everyone's in a good mood, not that you aren't, which makes you want to participate at least once. However, it's hard with Taehyung. He's the one asking you a question now. Truth or dare. None of it sounds good to be honest. You're scared of what he might ask.

“Truth.” you answer unsurely.

“Boring.” he sings out, pursing his lips in thought.

“Dare, dare.” You change your mind, not even sure for what reason but there's no going back. 

Taehyung is thinking for a moment. That's good. It means he hasn't thought it through and maybe he will come up with something simple and stupid at the same time. But when Jimin who's sitting beside him tries to help him, the man whispers into his ear as he nods. 

“Alright,” Taehyung claps his hands together. “Go on a walk with Kook.”

The humorous snort that leaves your mouth is unexpected. “Pass.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes, “It's literally the easiest dare there has been so far. Or would you rather do a body shot off Jimin's body?”

“Dude, why off mine?” Jimin reacts.

Taehyung ignores him. “So?”

“The dare is ridiculous.” you comment. 

Even Maya seems interested, nodding at you to accept the dare but you just mentally huff. 

“Don't I have any say in it?” Jungkook grumbles, and you feel how your insides clench in annoyance. 

It does bruise your ego that he clearly showed he doesn't want to do that. Which is unfair because you've shown it first, you've no right to feel that annoyed because of it.

“No,” Taehyung says simply, “Come on you two. Just ten minutes walk in the woods.”

“In the dark? Have you gone mad?” you exclaim.

“Okay, then I've changed my mind. Lick soju off Yoongi's abs.”

“What makes you think he has abs?” 

Yoongi glares at the side of your face as you giggle. “Mean.” You're glad that he doesn't let everyone know that you've seen way more of him.

First of all, you would argue with Taehyung that you've been drinking beer and you're not going to mix a different kind of alcohol. That would leave you sick and there's no need of repetition of you throwing up your guts, like it happened when you were eighteen and had to do it in front of your house, your back then neighbors as your witnesses. 

Second of all, you're actually considering it. Anything other than having to spend time alone with Jungkook. Not now. 

“I've changed my mind. Licking soju off Jungkook's abs.”

You don't comment anything about Jungkook's abs because you know they are very well there. Taehyung knows that. That little shit. 

Trying to stay cool, you let out a humorous laugh, hoping it doesn't sound flustered just like you feel. “You can't keep changing your dare, Tae.”

“That's my final dare. The walk or licking Kook's abs.” He wiggles his brows while Jimin sighs beside Taehyung, obviously not liking Taehyung's second and great idea.

“Maybe you should–”

“So what is it gonna be, love?” Taehyung cuts off Hoseok dismissively. 

You appreciate Hoseok's attempt to save you from this awkward hell.

“Just go take a walk. It's not a bad dare.” Maya butts in and you wish she would keep her mouth shut. She's already tipsy, making it sound like the easiest thing in the world. 

“What if I don't want to?” Jungkook asks, causing you to snap your eyes to him as Ester sitting beside him awkwardly scratches her brow. 

“Yeah, you heard him. He doesn't want to. Not like I want to be alone with him .”

Seokjin sucks in breath, from your peripheral vision Namjoon takes a swing of his beer.

Jungkook scoffs, “Just ask her some shit, Tae.”

“No,” Taehyung says, suddenly frowning as he glares at the two of you. “Raise your asses and go on a fucking walk. Then come back without the attitude and let us enjoy the rest of the fucking night.” 

Your jaw is on the floor. The wood in the fire cracks, almost as if it's just as shocked from his stern tone like the rest of you. You would never expect it from him. That surely left things even more tense and awkward, making you awkwardly shift on your spot. You could argue, or snap back at him for talking to you like this. But seeing everyone's eyes on you, you feel like the biggest idiot. 

You and Jungkook just managed to show more of your drama to them. Clearly everyone knows.

Sighing, you clear the can of beer before standing up. “I'm not promising anything.”

Taehyung then shoots you a thumbs up. “Just a ten minute walk, you two.” He sounds way softer now. You meet Jimin's eyes and he gives you an encouraging nod. 

You walk past Jungkook, turning around when you're out of the circle just to glance at him. He's still sitting, currently having a glare contest with Taehyung before he sighs and stands up abruptly. 

He brushes past you, but not before saying; “Let's go.”

And you follow him. Because it seems like the best idea with everyone's eyes attached to your backs. 

None of you have taken your phones with you, therefore you're walking deeper into the woods in darkness. You don't tell him to slow down while you trail behind him, trying not to trip over anything. Jungkook just keeps walking and walking, and you don't bother to go beside him, keeping your distance as you stay behind him. You wonder if he's just as annoyed by Taehyung's dare just as you. He's a menace. No, both of them are.

Of course Jungkook is annoyed. His reaction to Taehyung's dare is enough of an answer.

But still, you notice from the corner of your eyes Jungkook briefly glancing behind his shoulder, to see if you're still there. That act makes you purse your lips to hide the little smirk. It makes it even funnier that Jungkook has no idea.

Although, it strokes your ego that he cares enough to check on you. Even if you're both mad and annoyed at each other. Perhaps it's touching too, but you quickly shrug that thought away.

Taehyung has sent you on a ten minute walk. Not only is it ridiculous but it seems like the time is going awfully slow. It hasn't been even five minutes of you and Jungkook alone. The more you and him are alone, the worse you feel about how things are between you at the moment. You're mad at yourself for not wanting to do anything about it. All the emotions are too current. Despite your big mouth and the need to be vocal about your feelings, you don't like confrontations. The damage is done and making this right is not simple. You're aware of Taehyung's intentions and in the end, he's trying to help. But you would appreciate it if they left it up to you and Jungkook. Even if you're both clearly idiots.

Jungkook suddenly stops, leans against one of the trees as he also puts a pause to your current thoughts. It's the first time you truly acknowledge him, looking at him. With the lack of light, you don't avoid him as if he was a plague. 

The moon shines above your heads, making some of his features visible. Properly looking at him now, standing just a few feet away, you realize his hair seems to be damp from the shower he took. Just as you and Yoongi came back, he grabbed his stuff and helped Ester just like you did to Yoongi. 

After glancing around and staring at the trees surrounding you, he suddenly glances at you too. It's crazy how this is the first time on this trip that you're just looking at each other. Sure, there have been a few glances but they barely lasted a few seconds, eyes mostly filled with negative emotions. But now you just stare.

Clearing your throat silently, you walk up to one of the trees and lean against it as well. Staring at your feet instead when Jungkook silently scoffs under his breath. You act like you haven't heard it, though. 

“You do realize why Taehyung sent us here, right?” He suddenly asks, breaking the silence with an edge to his tone.

Glancing to your right and his direction, you're the one who scoffs now. “I'm not stupid.”

Jungkook laughs bitterly. “For fuck sake. Get over yourself. Nobody's saying you're stupid.”

“You're asking me as if I was stupid.” you remark childishly, knowing very well this conversation is not leading anywhere. Not for the better at least. This back and forth seems to not end anytime soon. 

He rubs his face, letting out a whine of frustration before he groans. That reaction makes you bothered for some reason and you glare at him. 

“You're unbelievable.” he mutters, rubbing his face again. He's frustrated. So are you, but you don't give him the pleasure of showing it. 

You stay unbothered, on the outside at least, leaning your arms behind your lower back.

“So, you're not going to talk.” he remarks sarcastically, making you mentally gasp at the entitlement. 

“Why the fuck am I supposed to talk first?” you exclaim. 

“I don't know,” he exclaims, voice full of sarcasm. “Maybe because you fucking got mad at me because I invited my friend?”

 Straight to the point. You give him that. 

“Your friend.” you laugh sarcastically under your breath. Pettiness is one of your strong traits. You can't help it.

“Yes, my friend,” he emphasizes. “Or what else is she?”

Your lips stay in a straight line. 

“I don't know, has she ever done something to you?” Rubbing the crease between your brows, you press your lips even tighter. “I'm asking you something, Y/N.” he says deeply, pressing even deeper as you shake your head in annoyance. 

“Maybe I don't want to give you an answer, genius.”

“You're so fucking unbelievable.” He sounds mad.

“And what about you, huh ?” you ask back, raising your voice. 

He pushes himself off against the tree, standing tall and broad, taking two steps before he's standing right in front of you. That makes you straighten yourself as well, arms falling down to your sides before you cross them over your chest. 

“What, because I invited a friend?”

“Your five minute long friend.” you mutter, not able to look him in the eyes when he's standing right there. But you feel the glare in his eyes and he surely has his brows furrowed.

His features relax, slowly studying your face in the darkness of the night as he lets out an amused chuckle. “You're jealous.”

“Like the fuck I am!” you deny, knowing well damn he's right. 

“You so fucking are.” he laughs, though it lacks of any source of happiness or positivity. He sounds bitter and cold. 

“I just don't see any reason why you had to invite her. I thought this was a friend's trip.” you mutter with an attitude, looking back as Jungkook outstretches his arm and leans his palm against the tree you're leaning on.

He's so close. Met with a familiar scent, you wonder if holding your breath would chase away the familiarity it holds. 

Jungkook holds his tongue for a moment before he licks his lips and chuckles. “What about you, huh? You invited someone who's not even your friend. How does that make you better?”

He's provoking you and although his words do hold some kind of truth, it only prompts your irritation. It burns through you and makes your jaw clench painfully. 

“You know what's the difference between us?” he asks, feigning softness as he inches closer to you. So close that you bump the back of your head against the tree, not able to look away from his dark eyes. His thick brows are furrowed, some of the wet strands dangling over his forehead. “I haven't fucked Ester.”

You visibly gulp at the explicit words.

He leans his head to the side, trying to catch your eyes. You look at him, breath catching in your throat when you notice the close proximity. Your noses are almost touching and the warmness of his breath fans your cheeks.

“I haven't fucked him.” you emphasize the word. You might've hooked up with him, but you didn't go all the way. You're glad you didn't, despite all. 

“So what, you only had his cock in your mouth.” he comments, your mouth opening in shock as Jungkook's thumb brushes against your bottom lip. 

You shouldn't feel this way. Despite the shock of his so-called bluntness, his proximity just doesn't do any good. Irritation and anger wants to ripple through you, but that's pushed aside as your stomach clenches in anticipation. It's true you don't know what to expect now. You're both clearly still mad at each other. Nothing has been solved and you barely talked. Could this be even considered as talking? All you've done is talk in complete sarcasm and irritation, blaming each other.

“I haven't.” you whisper just as he pulls away his thumb. Shaking yourself out of your moment of vulnerability and daze, you frown. “What does it matter?”

“It matters because he's not your friend. We both know you invited him because you wanted to piss me off.”

He doesn't move an inch. The proximity starts to feel suffocating and you don't know if you want to push him away to catch a breath, or pull him even closer. Which is crazy because you're upset, but if it's the only way to be close to him so be it. 

Jungkook has the upper hand, the corner of your lips lifts up as you look at him with mischief in your eyes. “Did it work?”

You could've easily denied it, knowing damn well he would just call you out on your bullshit. And you would continue on your lie, preferably pissing him off even more. It's the disadvantage of knowing each other too well. You both know what strings to pull to annoy each other. Just like what you did by inviting Yoongi. 

You're an idiot. You acted upon your feelings, letting the frustration get the best of you. You should've controlled yourself better. 

Jungkook frowns, but that's until he breathes out a light chuckle. You stare, eyes meeting in one intense moment as yours dance across Jungkook's face. You can't see the small details on his face but that doesn't stop. You're aware of Jungkook staring, yet you still allow your eyes to drop down to his lips. Fucking weak! 

Just as quickly you've looked, you look away at his eyes finding him staring at you. He's fighting back a smirk. “So that's it? No explanation?” he asks amusingly.

“You're so fucking irritating.” you spit through clenched teeth, but that only seems to amuse him more. 

“That's rich coming from you.” he hums, poking the inside of his cheek with tongue. 

You watch the motion, even as his tongue darts out to wet his lips. Shamelessly staring at them as he sighs, leaning so close that his nose touches your cheekbone. “You're driving me insane.” he mumbles.

He pulls away, just enough to get a view of your face again before he's closer again. His mouth hovers over yours, your breath hitched in your throat as you automatically lean to him. Your bottom lips touch, almost in a kiss but it's so brief that it makes you want to whine. You hold yourself back, growing impatient. 

Talking or the previous argument is not on your mind. It's crazy how you can forget about everything, focusing on the lust slowly simmering in the pit of your stomach. Looking at Jungkook, there's no wonder. It doesn't help that there's evident tension. You just want to kiss the idiot, even if it's not a solution at all. You wish it would. 

Kiss away that annoying smirk of his, preferably. 

It's embarrassing how you lean toward him to connect your lips. You can't help the sensation within your body, kiss him in pure fury that you feel. What's even more embarrassing is how he pulls away his face, sabotaging your kiss clearly. That has never happened. Not under these circumstances. 

“You think I wanna kiss you after the stunt you've pulled?” he chuckles coldly, cocking his head to the side as you stare.

Cheeks flaming hot, you look away in distress as you press your hands against his hard chest. Trying to push him away, he doesn't budge. You frown. “Fuck off then.”

He chuckles deeply. “So what's it gonna be… will we talk or you want me to fuck you?”

He what– 

You visibly suck in breath, eyes widening as you collect yourself. “You think I wanna fuck you after the stunt you've pulled?” you ask breathlessly, no way sounding as confident and annoying as you planned. 

He throws his back, letting out a deep laugh that sounds oddly cold. “Fuck off then,” he cheekily repeats your words, causing you to deepen your frown. He leans down and for a moment you think he's going to kiss you. That it's one of those times he just teased you to see your reaction – but no.

He nibbles on your jaw instead, down to your neck. You hate how out of breath you already are. And then he stands tall again. You barely get a glimpse of his face before you're turned around. Gasping in surprise, your palms stretched against the tree's trunk. 

His warm breath fans against your ear, lips brushing against it. “What did he do?”

“Who?” 

“Your friend.” he mocks. 

“I'm not telling you that!” you manage to exclaim in distress. His hands appear on your hips, pushing your ass flash against him . Fuck. You can feel his bulge against your ass, slowly hardening. “Does that turn you on?” you try to ask mockingly.

“Fuck no.” His answers come quickly.

“Why's your cock hard then?” Hardening but details, details. 

“From imagining how tight your cunt is.”

You curse under your breath, leaning your forehead, not caring how scratchy the tree trunk feels against your soft skin. “I guess you'll never know.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Oh, I already know.”

“Don't be so cocky.” you tell him through clenched teeth.

“Did he make you cum?”

You pant, nails digging into the tree. “Does it matter?”

“Did he make you cum?” he asks sternly, arousal leaking onto your panties.

“Yes.” you whisper. Yoongi is not the one you want to talk about. You want to tell him none of that matters. 

“What did he do?” He presses again.

You keep your mouth shut, gasping when Jungkook shamelessly circles his tattooed arm against your frame, fingers playing with the hem of your sweatpants. “Am I gonna get an answer?”

You stubbornly shake your head, giving him an answer. 

Stupidly cute, he thinks. Right after he sneaks his hand inside your sweatpants, under your panties too as you feel his flesh against you. At the littlest touch as he cups you and rubs your naked pussy, you let out a not so quiet moan. When he feels your wetness, he chuckles under his breath.

“Did he use his fingers?” he asks, still rubbing you before circling your wet and clenching hole. 

“Argh, fuck.”

“Y/N.” he warns.

“Fuck, no.”

He presses his thumb against your hole, not entering you just putting a slight pressure which makes your head spin. 

“Mouth?”

“Mhm.” You bite into your lip harshly, pushing your ass against him as he dodges your attempt of feeling something more. 

“Yes?” he presses, causing you to groan.

“Fuck, yes. Yes.” you whine, causing him to nod behind you.

His hand is out of your sweatpants before you can catch another breath. Swallowing down the disappointment, you're ready to curse him out. However, just as you open your mouth you're easily interrupted by Jungkook tugging both your sweatpants and panties down to your ankles. You gasp, muttering Jungkook's name as a warm breeze hits your wet core. 

Looking across your shoulder, you see him dropping to his knees as he pulls your ass toward him. He angles your body just so your entire backside is arched for him, giving him a front view of your pussy and ass. 

“I told you I'm gonna fuck you in the woods.” he says before he bites onto your asscheek. 

You whimper, panting. “If I let you.”

“I don't know, Y/N,” The usage of your name brings an odd feeling. “It seems you're letting me.”

“Shut up oh–fuck ,” Jungkook's mouth is buried in your wetness, tongue latching at it.

You haven't touched yourself for a long time. There was never time and to be completely honest – no need to when you had Jungkook. Nothing, not even you, could not compare to the pleasure he gives you. You would rather wait days for him to touch you, have sex with you or anything that could bring you an orgasm, than do it yourself. Even after the argument, you busied yourself with work and binge-watched like TV shows. Then you got your period which exhausted you. 

Whenever you jerk your backside, barely able to endure the magic of his mouth and tongue. He's not going easy on you, grabbing your hips and holding them tight, and you in place. He growls against you, almost as warning you to stop moving. Just when you think things can't get more intense, his tongue enters you and two of his fingers rub your clit in fast circles.

“Holy shit!”

You cum on his tongue within seconds, adding it to the list of embarrassing things you've managed to do in only ten minutes. Your lungs are on fire, all Jungkook's doing as he licks off some of your cum before you feel his hands on your ankles. That's it?  

“You want more?” he chuckles, not the usual type when things are normal between you. In fact, they aren't and the distance in his tone reminds you of your current issue. You haven't realized you said your thoughts out loud. 

Looking across your shoulder and down, too scared to move at the moment, you glance at him. “You brought me here to eat me out?”

“That wasn't the plan.” he points out, “You don't deserve more.”

That makes you scoff loudly, ass bare. You should probably dress up, but his hands still remain at your ankles. “You're right. Maybe I should tell Yoongi.”

That is so fucking childish! But you can't help it. The truth is Yoongi would probably never touch you again. What you've done previously was a drunken mistake in the heat of the moment. Alcohol was involved. You can't say your relationship has progressed much since then, but you know each other a little bit more. It would surely make things even weird to even consider it. If he heard you, you're not sure if he would want to vomit or would laugh – probably the loudest you would ever hear him. 

Jungkook stands up abruptly, pressing his front against your back which makes you straighten up. He grabs the back of your neck, not too tight but you feel his hand there. “Good. Imagine me when he fucks you.”

You let out a sarcastic and humorous laugh. “You're all talk, Jeon. Thought you would fuck me in the woods.”

“Desperate much?” he laughs bitterly, “Tell your friend.”

You elbow him, enough to let him know to get you some space as you quickly pull up your clothes, ignoring how your underwear digs into your butt crack uncomfortably. 

“Y'know what?” He doesn't because you don't await his response. “When you want your cock sucked, tell Ester.”

“I will. Maybe she'll do a better job at it.” he says fast. Too fast. 

Something happens in your chest, it burns and it makes your anger rise. ���You piece of shit!” You curse, venom present in your voice as you go to push into his chest. He doesn't move.

“Two can play this game, Y/N.” he reminds you. 

You glare, watching the way he swipes his bottom lip with his thumb, putting the pad of it into his mouth. All while his eyes stay on you. 

“Is this game to you?” you ask in disbelief. 

He drops his hand in annoyance and rolls his eyes. “You're the one who started to threaten me with your co-worker.” he points out. 

“Threaten you? Please.” you scoff dramatically. 

Suddenly, your jaw is cupped and grabbed harshly as he presses you into the tree again. “You want me to fuck you?”

You gulp, mentally scolding yourself for feeling aroused by such a simple question. You're mad. In fact, you should tell him to fuck off and leave before you still can. But you stay rooted in your spot.

“Not anymore. I will ask Yoongi, he will do a better job at it than you.” 

He chuckles, knowing that's not true and you wish you could refute the statement. But you don't want to. 

Jungkook tightens his hold, rougher than before you're turned around once again. This time your cheek pressed against the hard tree trunk as your underwear and sweatpants are roughly pulled down. You almost fall but hold yourself at the last minute, surprised by the roughness. You provoked him. Truth to be told and admitted, you want this even if it makes you out as desperate. 

“You sure he will?” he prompts. 

“Mhm,” Is all you manage to mumble back. 

“Does he know you're my little slut?”

“I'm not yours.” you pant, shutting your ass when another slap is delivered on your ass. 

“You're right,” he hums, parting your legs slightly as he cups your pussy tightly. “This cunt is.” He slaps you there, earning a long gasp mixed with moan. You're not sure if he has ever done it. The pain and pleasure shoots through you and you're close to whimpering, begging for more. 

“Who said that?” You're playing with fire. But you enjoy this. 

“I did,” he laughs as if it wasn't obvious. “Didn't you say my mouth is yours to kiss?”

You did say that. You were drunk. No wasted out of your mind. But you don't justify it out loud. 

“That dirty mouth of yours?” you chuckle, hearing him do the same behind you. “Who knows what you do with it.”

“You know it.” You blush at his words. “Now, should we get back or you want to get fucked?”

“My ass is bare, what do you think?” you retort smartly, yelping when he pinches your clit. What the hell. With seconds passing, it does feel good. Argh! 

You hear clothes rustling, your walls clenching just from the thought of him taking off his clothes and getting his cock out. Fuck , you suddenly hate that you're turned with your back to him. 

Then his tip pokes your puckered hole, moving further down to separate your folds. He's at your entrance, causing you to quietly moan as you arch your ass for him. You even part your legs, hearing him curse behind you. 

You thought it's because of you, and maybe it is, that's until you hear a little groan. “What's wrong?”

Many things, he wants to say but he presses his lips tightly. “I don't have a condom.”

You release a disappointed breath. Fuck! You scream inside your head before you arch your ass again, feeling his cock against you as he lets out a pleased sigh. “It's okay. Fuck me without it.” You say it too quickly, almost as if you didn't give it a thought. 

“Fuck, you serious?” Jungkook pants, sounding out of breath from the single thought of fucking you raw again. 

“Yes,” you breathe heavily. “Just fuck me. I can't stand this.”

His answer doesn't come verbal, he presses the tip of his cock against your entrance but not quite entering you. One hand on your waist and the other on his cock, he circles his tip against your entrance and then rubs it along your folds up to your clit. Fucking hell. 

“Kook.” you whine. 

And then he presses in one movement, knocking the breath out of you. He's fast, despite you being not stretched out you shiver against him. The burn mixed with pleasure makes you press your face even more to the tree, ignoring how it stings. 

He doesn't ask anything, he doesn't wait for you to get used to his size, having him filling you up to the brim. He pulls out and then harshly thrusts in. Before you know it, his hand moves to the back of your neck. Holding you there, the other goes to the side of your ass as he gets a good grip of you. Thighs hitting against yours, the sound of your skin slapping and meeting fills up the space. You realize this is the first time you're having sex in a complete open space – the thought of that arouses you to the core.

Jungkook's pace is animalistic, leaving you all whiny and a complete mess, as your wetness gushes out of you. Even the way his cock thrusts into your wet walls is clear to your ears. Eyes scrunched tightly, you can't control the noises that ripple out of you. Your entire body is burning and there are no thoughts in your mind. For the first time since the argument, you don't think. There is no feeling of guilt, anger, annoyance and everything you've felt for the past week. You're so full of him, feeling every inch of him despite his ruthless pace as soft grunts of his own pleasure are heard behind you. 

“S-so good.” You're out of your mind, not even grasping at what you're saying. It doesn't matter that you stroke Jungkook's already big ego. He knows very well what he's doing to you – and what he's able to do to you.

“Yeah?” he pants behind you. “I couldn't tell.”

“You piece of–”

“Ow!” you whine, your skin sensitive from the third slap your asscheek has gotten. 

Suddenly, the tip of his fingers sneak between your open legs, rubbing your clit which makes you whimper even more. 

“Fuck–so close–I can't–so good.”

It's too much. His cock is wrapped around your walls, thrusting the spots you never knew you had, his fingers are on your clit adding just the right pressure while his balls smack against it too. A few more rough thrusts and you're cumming, your entire body shuddering as Jungkook groans. You're going through your orgasm, close to the end of it when Jungkook pulls out all of a sudden and cums on your ass. You feel the warm liquid covering your skin, dripping down with some of it down your ass cheeks. It's messy but so fucking hot that you hum shamelessly.

Feeling empty despite the intense orgasm, you hear a little rustling behind you and then Jungkook's hands on your ass again. A second later, Jungkook draws out his tongue before you feel the soft and wet muscle on your skin. He licks his cum off it, your mouth falling open at the amount of dirtiness behind his actions. You didn't think he could get any hotter.

He cleans you off and tugs your sweatpants along your panties up, where you take it from them and dress up. He does the same, tucking himself back into his boxers as he hides any evidence of your sinful actions. 

Everything dawns upon you, slowly but surely, once the remains of orgasm no longer clouds your mind. It's like a movie that flashes right in front of your eyes, reminding you of what has just happened. There's no regret though, even when all those negative emotions come back and you realize you haven't made anything better. Just like a bunch of teenagers, you fucked the anger out of your system for the time being, until it's over now and nothing between you is okay. You haven't talked.

You actually made no progress, which was Taehyung's last hope and the reason why he has sent you away from everyone. What are you supposed to do now? Come back there and act like everything's fine? Continue to ignore Jungkook because there's still a lot that needs to be said. Oh god , you really hope none of them went to look for you. You have been gone for longer than ten minutes. You wouldn't be able to live it down if one of them caught you. What if they did and saw you? 

Different scenarios (embarrassing ones) fill your already messed up mind. As you turn around to face Jungkook, fully clothed now, you're constantly reminded of your actions. His hair is messy, he tries to fix it by running his fingers through it a few times. The sour taste on your tongue and the clench in your chest defines the disappointment you feel. Disappointed at yourself. Since when the hell do you solve your problems by having sex? Angry sex at that. And you solved a major shit.

Sure. You remember the time when you and him had sex, rough and angry once when you were arguing. But that time seems like a faint memory. You would've guessed you got better at that. Instead, you're ashamed that this is what your friendship looks like. If you and him weren't hooking up, what would happen? Would you finally talk? Even when you didn't feel ready. You're still not, especially what happened now. 

Again, there's no regret. The sex was amazing and definitely helped with the anger (partly). However, looking back at this now, there's an empty hole in your chest. You and him are still arguing over something completely stupid. But it's not stupid enough for both of you to let it go. 

You two are fucking idiots. 

Jungkook lifts up his gaze, brows frowning all of a sudden and you wonder if he has the same thoughts, disappointed at himself for fucking you in the woods. To be fair, you asked for it. And you're ashamed how easy those words left your mouth. 

He surprises by lifting his hand, pads of his fingers slowly touching your cheekbone. “You're hurt.” he informs softly. 

You had no idea what he's talking about, but as soon as his fingers make contact with your skin, you recognize the little stinging. You touch your skin, feeling its surface slightly damaged and scratched from the tree. Great, now you not only will have memories of Jungkook fucking you outside in a darkness, but you will have an actual reminder and proof of it as well. 

Automatically, you frown and slap his hand away. “This,” You motion between you and him. “Didn't happen.”

He doesn't argue, nor do you give him a space for it because you brush past him, making your way back. Usually, you wouldn't be so confident walking in the darkness, let alone be in front but the urge to get out of here is strong. Luckily, you hear Jungkook following you, now him being the one who's behind you. 

You have no idea how you've managed to get back, remembering the exact route Jungkook has taken. Your memory when it comes to this is not bad at all, but still you're quite impressed – and relieved – when you spot the fireplace and laughter nearby. 

You know the moment you fully come back, their attention is going to be on you and Jungkook, expecting something. Analyzing the atmosphere between you two. And that's exactly what happens when all the chattering dies down as soon as they spot you. 

Taehyung's eyes are curious and a grin threatens to spread, until he notices your face. “What happened?” he asks, “Did you have a physical fight?” He tries to joke, met with a glare from you. 

“I fell.” you reply dryly, snatching your bag of toiletries. 

Jungkook plops onto his old spot, leaning his elbow against the armrest as he rubs the space between his brows. 

“Jungkook?” Jimin asks confusingly, expecting some kind of explanation from him. You act as if you don't hear him, grabbing more of your stuff as you ignore Maya's eyes on you. 

“Y/N, where are you going?” Maya asks, quietly and softly but loud enough for some of them to hear. 

“To take a shower. I'm covered in dirt and I need to clean this off.” you mutter, hearing her stand up as she stumbles. Little does she know you have to clean the mess between your legs too.

“I'm going with you.” she says. 

“No, it's okay.”

“Fine, but it's dark. Someone should go with you.”

You frustratedly scratch your forehead, groaning a little. You don't want her to question you. You're not in the mood to talk, let alone to share what has happened in the woods. 

“Stay here. I'll go with her.” Namjoon helps her to sit down, standing up as he offers you a comforting smile. 

With a tight grip on your towel, you walk away in total shame. Confused and miserable than ever.

[juicedaloe]

Mithrun and brain damage

I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this, but I wanted to make a post talking about why I think that Mithrun has brain damage from a traumatic brain injury instead of him being a representation of other neurological disorders or mental illness. I'm not that involved in the dunmesh fandom so I don't know how common this headcanon is, though I've seen a few people mention it here and there.

This is just my own opinion so if you disagree then that's fine. Some of this is just speculation and I can't say what Kui's intentions were. This post isn't meant to be that serious. I just wanted to talk about it and hopefully inform about how brain damage can affect some people in a way that I hope is interesting and relevant.

This will be kind of long because I like to talk so it will be under the cut. Apologies for the length and how much I ramble. Feel free to give input especially if I got anything wrong or if this is too confusing.

Okay let's go

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is incredibly complex. The long-term effects of a TBI include a wide array of symptoms. Each injury is different, and some people can completely recover rather quickly while others can become permanently disabled, even for seemingly "minor" injuries. What I'll cover here isn't a definitive representation of the experiences of all those who have long-term effects from TBI, nor do I speak for everyone with brain damage.

Here are some long term symptoms relevant to this post:

Alexithymia (inability to process and name emotions)

Inability to process and name physical perceptions

Mood swings and emotional regulation difficulties

Communication difficulties

Social impairment

Apathy about caring for oneself

Lack of motivation

Alexithymia and inability to process physical perceptions

This one is rather obvious. While Mithrun is shown to feel emotions and have physical sensations (for instance, describing his location when he gets lost in the dungeon as "a cold place"), he is also apathetic to how this affects him. This means that his physical and emotional perceptions are reduced in some way. He says that becoming lord of the dungeon will leave someone "empty", showing he is aware of his dulled emotional state.

A good example of this is can be seen here in a bonus comic where he doesn't give much of a reaction to burning his mouth on hot food.

(I love these two a lot, by the way. Pattadol is really under appreciated.)

He is also not able to recognize bodily signals, such as hunger or when he is tired. Despite collapsing from exhaustion and not eating for long periods of time, he still insists he is not tired or hungry.

Mood swings

Mood swings in combination with alexithymia can be an especially disorientating experience. Those who struggle to perceive their own emotions can still feel them even if they don't know how to recognize it.

Individuals with brain injuries often experience drastic mood swings, particularly anger. To those around them, they can appear to go from 0 to 100 in an instant.

This is more speculation/headcanon on my part, as the strongest emotion Mithrun has for most of his appearances is anger. However one could interpret this as being unrelated as he is seeking revenge for a traumatic experience.

Communication difficulties and social impairment

Not only can naming personal experiences be incredibly difficult with a brain injury, but other areas of communication are often affected as well.

Mithrun is not able to set boundaries for himself even if someone is doing something he would not actually want them to do, which can leave him in a vulnerable position.

People with brain injuries can sometimes have a paradoxical experience when it comes to communicating with others. They can go from being very quiet to speaking at length about one topic, seemingly without regard for the importance of each bit of information. (I see it like Newton's first law of motion. It is hard to start speaking and it can be just as hard to stop.)

I really like this aspect of Mithrun's characterization. Usually, he is very quiet because he has no reason to speak. However, once he starts talking he is shown to be overly specific and goes on for long periods of time. Kabru has to spend multiple days figuring out his story.

In a side comic, Kabru tells Mithrun he should condense some of the personal details that Kabru finds irrelevant to the topic of the dungeon.

Mithrun shares many details about himself because his desire not to do so is gone. This mirrors the experience of many people who have brain damage to overshare and not understand how their words will come across to others. Sometimes they say or do things that are insensitive or inappropriate for the situation.

Caring for oneself and motivation

In the dungeon, Mithrun becomes reliant on others for self care. He also seems especially incapable of motivating himself to take care of his body when he is particularly focused on his goals.

In these panels, thus far he had been fairly receptive of Kabru trying to take care of him. However, he could sense that the demon was close and was too focused on that to care to eat.

Refusal of care and treatment is often an effect of traumatic brain injury. This can be for seemingly no reason, even if the person knows that this will help them. Sometimes people will lie about receiving treatment or doing things to take care of themselves, either so they can avoid it or avoid having someone take care of them.

He knows that eating regularly and not pushing himself too much will help him - he's been told multiple times on-screen - but he still has to be continuously told by others to give him that motivation to take care of himself. He's very apathetic to his physical state, even if it seems his only desire is for revenge and he should be doing anything he can to achieve that.

Other things of note

I wasn't sure where to put this, but while Mithrun's sense of direction is speculated by Kabru to be left over from his time as lord of an ever-changing, confusing dungeon, having poor sense of direction in the way he does could also be indicative of brain injury as well.

While the dungeon is confusing and illogical, he is known to have a poor sense of direction and to get frequently lost by those around him, even trying to exit an entrance he just came through. He is shown to be very intelligent, but memory is greatly impacted by brain injuries which affects a person's sense of direction and location.

Something that really stands out to me about Mithrun is how much the things that help him are particularly helpful to those with brain damage. He is physically capable of performing tasks, but he needs an outside source to remind him and get him started. He relies entirely on routine, and when that regularity is taken away he shows extreme difficulty taking care of himself.

Sometimes, the care that some people need is simply someone else to encourage them or to tell them when to do things. The care that he needs is pretty consistent with a person with a brain injury who does not need a full time caretaker and would prefer to have some independence.

Also, healing magic is specified to not work with brain injury unless the person is killed and revived. Mithrun had not been revived after his injuries, so it is entirely possible for him to have sustained a TBI. I don't think this matters that much because one is still allowed to have headcanons even if there is a magical explanation or isn't really possible in canon, but I thought it was an interesting detail.

In conclusion

Because of all this I don't believe that his lack of self care is due solely to mental illness. While mental illnesses like depression or PTSD can cause a decline in self care, the reasons why the affected individual is avoidant of these tasks differs. These disorders can also cause cognitive difficulties and emotional regulation issues, but not to the same extent or in the same way that brain damage would. I think that he does have both depression and PTSD (both are common after a TBI) but those are not his only disabilities.

And on a personal note, I just think that having a character with brain damage is really cool. Most of the time I've seen it the characters are not given very much respect and they are treated as comic relief and a joke. Regardless of whether you agree with this post or not, it is still nice to see a character with a disability like this.

Thank you if you read all of this. I hope it was easy to understand and I did not ramble too much. I don't have anything else to say but I've been wanting to write this out for a while.

Okay bye

[wis-art]

The worst period of my life was when I was a self hating teenager in denial about being transgender. I grew up in a deeply abusive household and my father expected me to be his manly son and I tried to conform despite it driving me insane, I fell down many nasty rabbitholes because of my insecurities rooted in deep hatred of my body and deep hatred of what I should be, I have always felt uneasy looking at men in cartoons and movies thinking to myself how much I don't want to become that, always envying the girls and always dreaming about waking up as a girl. This all lead me online because I felt so isolated from the world and I couldn't relate to anybody. Of course an unmedicated self hating teenager, with grand delusions about being god's little special soldier, seeking ANY validation is bound to fall into some horrible places, i am one of the victims of the alt right pipeline, and it did drive me into suicidal spirals many times over how much I hated myself for being transgender. Eventually I snapped out of it and grew out of it but the taste in my mouth of ever associating myself with that kind of community is really disgusting and never seems to wash off from my tongue, which I suppose is good since I never want to be back there mentally. I despise the right wingers, seeing and experiencing their beliefs first hand, it's all just driven by hate and insecurity, the only reason why it's so popular is because these people prey on lack of knowledge and insecurity of any kind, offering easy solutions and quick fixes, putting an easy target to direct your hate towards just to deflect the hate away from yourself. It is not a valid or real solution or even political ideology, it's a grift and a worldview sold to people who know their future is uncertain, it's harnessing the societal instability and crisis for political and financial gain, and I was a sucker for it in my teenage years for which I apologize. Nowadays I am unapologetically a leftist, with flaws and gaps in knowledge, like any other human on this earth but fundamentally different and changed from when I was a kid, and I am proud of myself and I am proud to be the bad transgender bitch that I am. It took so much effort, medicine, therapy, help from my family, help from my friends for me to realize that I was wrong and that I need to change. I did not do it alone. And I'm glad I did it, and I'm happy to ve fortunate enough to receive help and support despite being a toxic unpleasant person to be around. All so I can just be Wis in peace a weird transgender woman on the internet, drawing trans women who despise the fascists and nazis. It's also why I so deeply believe in people changing and why I am so adamantly against harassing people for their mistakes for years, it just doesn't help, all it does is makes one ashamed and all shame does is drive one further into the abyss of self hatred. As corny as it sounds love has saved me and it is love and patience that helps people change

[adams-angels]

Can you do one where Adam sees you as a place holder for his wives and doesn’t respect you ever but when you want to leave him he realizes just how much he truly cares about you and then like over course of a period of time (your choice) we forgive him :)

Thank you for listening ❤️

This was a fun one! I love a bit of angst. Can't get enough of the stuff!!

💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖

Reader POV because I got a similar ask which I'll write as Adams POV

Used

It's all I ever asked for. To be respected. To be loved. It wasn't fair. Why did I have to be alone and wait for him while he was out galavanting around the heavens! How was it fair? He'd only ever sees me for sex. He wouldn't reply to my texts but god fucking forbid I miss one of his texts.

Or in this case ignore. I've had enough. I'm not being second choice anymore! So I texted him "we're done." I know it's cowardly to "break up" via text but it's not even like we were dating! I placed my phone down on my side table. I should of put it on silent. Why didn't I put it on silent.

Curling up on my bed, tears flowing from my eyes as I hear the vibration on my phone. He's either calling or text bombing me. I pick up my phone to see several missed called and about 20 texts already.

You think you're better than me?!

You're nothing!

I'm Adam!! I can get ANYONE I FUCKING WANT

YOU THINK I NEED YOU?!

I sob.

I must of fallen asleep during my crying of self pity. I stretch out my arms as I sit up only to see Adam at the doorway. I scream in surprise, falling off my bed hitting my phone off the nightstand in the process. "Adam?! What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!" I yell at him.

He stands there, looming over me. "You want to leave me?" He asked, never had I heard him so emotionless. I tut as I stand up. "You say that like you cared." I retort, picking my phone up from the floor. "Don't look at that." He took a step towards me, reaching out but I pulled away. "Why? You next me nasty shit? Telling me I'm worthless? That I was lucky to -" he interrupted, "y/n, I'm sorry. I just want to know what I did wrong."

I can't help but sigh, collapsing on my bed, hair covering my face. "I just... I can't... I don't want to be a place holder for you." I can hear Adam moving closer, his wings dragging across the floor. "What are you talking about?" One of his hands land on mine. "I don't want to be someone you just use until you find someone better." His fingers interlace with mine as his other hand brushes my hair from my face revealing my teary eyes. "I just want to be... I don't know, Adam."

His hand cups my face and I just can't help but melt into his touch. "Be mine?" I shrug in response. Clearing his throat he clarifies, "no, I'm asking. Be mine." I can't help but look at him like an idiot, my heart skipping a beat. "What?" He recoiled. "I mean, maybe we could start again? Like.. properly?"

"You mean like.. date? What happened to "I don't date. I'm the first man. I have the first penis ever bla bla!"" He stares at me with a blank expression. "I don't sound like that." "You do." Adam brow furrows in what I can only assume is annoyance. "Whatever, y/n, please. I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me." Never have I seen him look so weak. So... Small? "I'll have to think about it." I can't tell if he feels relieved or worried. Maybe both. "H-how long will that take?" He asked with a hint of desperation.

"I don't know, Adam." I shrug. My words hung in the air. "I really care about you, y/n. You have to believe me, babe." He kissed my hand before releasing it. "Just.. uh... Delete those texts. I didn't mean any of it." I watch as he leaves my apartment. No through the door of course, no, he always had to leave from the balcony. I usually watch as he flies away. But not this time..

It's been about a month since I last spoke to Adam. I've seen him about. Doing his thing. It makes me laugh. When ever he notices me he freezes up. Just last week he was talking to Sera and as soon as he noticed me walk past he just stared. I swear I heard Sera say "earth to Adam."

Today I decided. I head towards his office, walking past several anxious angles. I heard yelling come from inside his office and then something smash. Before I could knock the door swung open and standing before me was a very frustrated Adam. His feathers were literally ruffled. "Y/n?" He was surprised to see me but his expression changed quickly as he remembered in was in the presence of his underlings. "Come in." He stands aside letting you in to his office. It was mess. I mean, I've seen it messy before but this was a whole new level. Documents everywhere, a smashed mug on the floor and coffee stains on the wall. "Bad day?" I commented he grumbled in response. "There are no bad days in heaven."

He slumps down on his chair, watching me as I walk over to his office window, opening it to get some of that heavenly fresh air in. "So... I thought about it." He perks up, sitting straight. "And?"

"and I'm willing to start again. Properly." I don't even get a chance to turn and face him before he's already darted from his chair wrapping me in his arms. "Fuck, thank fucking Christ. Don't do that to me again. Please." His wings surrounded us. "Please, I'm sorry. I'll treat you so much better." "Promise?" "Yes, promise."

～⁠♡✧⁠｡ I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! ｡✧⁠♡～⁠