#nirisa

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Kiki's twin sister, Nirisa!

ft. a time lapse!

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opening to the next episode after the first arc of the season

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Nirisa probably became the ideal Jedi because she watched how even some Jedi would hear her premonitions and just refuse to believe they'd come true, even though they know the Force doesn't lie (as mysterious as it can be). So she doesn't force anything and she's very accepting of the things that need to be accepted, and she doesn't try to fight what can't be.

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Kiki had a twin named Nirisa. Her closest friend besides Hahkin. Nirisa was the golden child of their friend group--near-mastery of the Force and her special ability, which was foresight. Even tho they didn't see eye to eye a lot of things, Kiki felt connected to Nirisa the way nobody else could. Perhaps they didn't need to agree on everything because they were in tune with one another already.

Nirisa makes efforts to be closer to Kiki, spend more time around her. She offers advice more, tells her to calm down more, basically nags Kiki more than usual. It goes on for days. Random calls in the middle of the night. Kiki first tolerates and then ignores and then pushes back on it.

Nirisa dies--is killed right in front of kiki. Kiki realizes that Nirisa had been attempting to say goodbye for four days straight because she'd foreseen her own death.

Kiki can barely cope with the pain, so she pretends her sister hardly existed.

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I actually might change the name of verocia. i want something that feels more Igbo sound-wise. I'd named the planet that waaaaay before I dediced to put my culture into it, and this is like the last vestige of that. the language is called verinese (veh-rih-neh-say. yeah lol) which also doesn't quite feel right to me now.

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Kiki is laying on the floor of her would-be childhood room, depressed after the funeral for Nirisa. Her sister comes in and lays down on the floor across from her.

Kiki: the masters said the Force was a peaceful ocean, and the loss of one Jedi was merely a drop. the tides will rise and fall and the cycle continues. It's supposed to prevent despair, to help us feel less like each loss is a monumental devastation, but this doesn't feel like an ocean, it's a HOLE, a gaping hole, in my -- I can feel it. It's a wound I don't know how to fill and it repulses me but I can't stop touching it. There's a hole in the Force where my sister should be. I'm scared I'm going to follow. I'm scared I'm going to fall in.

Kiki begins to sob.

Kiki: I should have known her. Her last day with me, she was trying to get to know me. She was giving me advice. I didn't even -- my own sister -- now our mother's dead and I feel like I was closest to Nirisa when I shared a womb with her.

Okunna: Is this what's called 'attachment'?

Kiki nods.

Okunna: (beat) I can't say I understand your religion or all of your beliefs, but this one, I do. Nobody should ever feel like you do now. Nobody should wail like you did.

Kiki: I'm breaking the Code.

Okunna: Then break it. Break it here, now, where the pieces don't matter and the shards cannot hurt you. Pour out every drop in that ocean until you're empty.

Kiki: I-I can't--

Okunna: I will help you clean it up, my sister. Then you can return to the Temple in one piece.

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this has been in my drafts for over a month sorry @ka1imba and @transfemgodtamer both of whom i am not able to tag for some reason

but well.......ill talk about Nirisa, since I rarely do.

Nirisa is Kiki's older twin sister. She has a thinner face and green eyes. I think they're fraternal twins but I'mn not sure yet (just bc her face in my head is v different from Kiki's).

Nirisa is a "perfect" Jedi in that, unlike most Veorcians, she doesn't have some kind of caveat on her Force Ability. She has visions/premonitions about the future. She tries very hard to be a very good Jedi, follow all the rules, and does make the occasional attempt to keep Kiki in line.

Nirisa wishes she and Kiki could be closer.

They have a lot of ideological differences about the jedi order, about their role in the war, about the Force. Kiki's much more radical in that she thinks many of the rules should be heavily re examined and she increasingly loses support for the war. Nirisa fully believes they're on the right side of history for joining the war effort. She initially doesn't really support Kiki's network to free clones, thinking it too risky and too treasonous, but she later changes her mind.

She really wishes she could be closer with Kiki. They both wish they could be closer.

Nirisa's the type of jedi the younglings are told to look up to. She doesn't ask too many questions. She does her duty. She meditates regularly, always trusting in the Force. She's not forceful or too aggressive and has good control over her emotions. When the Force shows her a terrifying vision, she doesn't panic.

She very much stifles herself into the image of perfection. it both does and doesn't feel natural to hold herself back.

When she gets the vision of her own death, she breaks one of her own rules and allows the fear and sickness and anger to fill her up. She never got to know her sister the way their mutual friends do. She regrets all the times she did more scolding the guiding, and more guiding than trying to simply get to know Kiki. Maybe she could have taken Kiki up on more of her offers to go out for a night on the town, or train together, or go to a tap cafe. Anything.

If it's one thing Nirisa has learned, it's that telling people about her visions rarely produces anything satisfactory. So she tries her best to say goodbye with what little time they have--three days. She tries to chat, she tries to talk, to make jokes, so wish Kiki goodluck without hinting at what's to come. She knows Kiki well enough to know that her death will destroy her sister, that the gaps in their relationship will hurt her as much as the actual loss. The regret will eat her alive.

As awkward as the conversation is, Nirisa tries to make sure Kiki's knows she loves her, and she pretends it doesn't hurt with Kiki responds with more confusion than anything else. A few hours later, Nirisa is killed in front of Kiki in battle on their homeplanet.

I wanna talk about my OCs :/

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Learning about your ocs has been fun! I was wondering if you have name origins for the clones?

OH BOY anon you've accessed the CHCU (clonehub cinematic universe) DEEP LORE

Waaaaay early in development, around the time that I a) watched less anime and b) started getting more in tune with being Igbo, I'd designed the clone's names to have short and long forms. Bliz would be "Bliz" for short, but then something else as a "full name" that sounded Igbo (to me, at least). Everyone on CS was like this. Kiki would have named them as part of a long and tricky process for all of them becoming "family".

However, then I had another perspective shift and I thought to myself, "Well, first of all coding them as such wouldn't work, secondable a Jedi naming like seven different clones? No." I wanted them all to have more of a say in their names, their origins, and their personal meanings, so that concept was quickly dropped.

Marik chose his name because it sounded nice to him. Edger as well. Ratchet used to be a noisemaker and thus he was dubbed that by his old squad in the 501st, but his personality's changed quite a bit. Also this was before "ratchet" became a classist and misogynistic and generally anti-Black term in popular language lmao.

I wanted some of their names to sound less "generic" or noun-based the way that clones' names in canon do (hardcase, kickback, etc). Hence, again, Marik, Edger, Ratchet, and Cord.

Actually Cord's name came about because when s1e16 of the clone wars was airing and they had the mystery clone (slick), my brother and I didn't know what his name was (obviously). So we dubbed him Cord until we got a name. And now I'm using it for my guy.

In-universe, Ridge chose his name because he thought it sounded tough. He was the runt of his squad, he was slow, he was picked on, and he was being abused by the drill sergeant in charge of their cohort. He wanted a "leave me alone" name, but him being your typical child, what sounded Tough and Scary to him back them is really just a normal name. I think at some point he also would have been named Ridge because he had a mohawk, also so he could look tough. Now though he just has an undercut (though in my head I do still sometimes see the mohawk).

Once upon a time, "Bliz" was short for "Blizzard", but I like how just Bliz sounds. Often, peope misread it as "blitz". He, Brucer, and Bimmie had an alliteration thing going on that I liked.

See now Jax is special because his name is deliberately generic. He chose it because it sounded decent as a name. There wasn't any emotional journey towards it like with Ridge, and there wasn't a quirky backstory to it like with Cord. Jax is Jax because Jax is normie, it's run of the mill, it's boring. Jax as a character is meant to be the Most Average clone you can imagine, besides the crippling anxiety and baldness. He's a nobody, he thinks he's nothing, he hardly even thinks he's a person worthy of desires, and he's got a big 'ol crush on Kiki. In some ways, some of the critiques people in his life have of his "runaway loyalties/feelings" is along the lines of "Who do you think you are? You're not special".

Kiki's name didn't use to be Nkerinna. That I've made closer to sounding Igbo as I made Verocia based more on Igboland than some vaguely anime-inspired Japanese inspiration (don't shoot me I was 12 and heavily into Naruto). Her original last name was Jorani, not Ogbode. I'd look up what her original name was, but fanfiction dot net is down right now lmao.

Nirisa's name hasn't changed. Her name means sunset. Kiki's means dawn. Nirisa is the older one, yes, but....idk I like Kiki's name meaning "dawn".

Sunlaou Cloen is named that because I thin it sounds nice and I like "Soni" (sunny) as a nickname. Hahkin is Hahkin because I like the sound. Persha-Ro (her last name) is like that because I wanted a hyphenation.

In general though, I try to differentiate the way I name my OCs from typical star wars conventions because Star Wars names can be...boring. Women's names are often vowel-heavy and sound typically feminine in a Western romance language way. The men's names get to have heavier consonants, but then they also get to be weirder. But most often, Star Wars names can be really monosyllabic. Luke. Han. Poe. Finn. Rey. Ben. PT and some OT names have a distinct formation to them that the ST ones lack.

Over the years, I've seen names be 2-syllable first names and 1-syllable last names, or vice-versa, and they won't be very different from one another. This is why my OCs will sometimes have longer names, and the female characters especially will get names that don't sound as typically feminine (Hahkin, Nkerina, Tysolis, Iriyunan, etc.). My one exception is As'adari, but I named her that specifically because it's a girly name for a very unfeminine, aggressive, and brutish female character.

Then you have Pailenam, Paradise, Okunna, Chiadi, Danda, Yuza, etc. And despite my best efforts, the letter A is still clearly very popular in my names lmao.

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Master Namya’s pointy, loth-cat-like ears pricked upward as he rose from his crouched position, surprise on his face. “Kiki! By chance, is your class visiting the library at this moment?” He dusted off his deep brown robes, his tail swinging from side to side. He had an accent that Kiki liked, and sometimes if he was feeling good he’d teach Kiki a few words in any of the number of languages he knew.

“Nope.”

“Where is your class, then, darling? And Master Disuu? Have you come here by yourself?”

Kiki shrugged. “This is my friend Hahkin. I taught her how to use the Force, Master Namya!”

Hahkin bounced in place as she pumped her fists. “I can do this now!” With a moment of effort, she knocked the book Master Namya had been holding out of his hand. Then, she tried to call it back, but Master Namya caught it before Hahkin could whip the book into her own face.

He chuckled, a finger adjusting his glasses. “My, that’s quite impressive, young one! Does Master Disuu know you can do that?”

“No. But also I dunno who Master Disuu is.” Hahkin shrugged, mirroring her new friend. 

“Perhaps we can show your assigned Master your new skill—”

“Can we stay here?” Kiki asked, bouncing in place like Hahkin. Now that she’s been open to the Force for so long, she has more energy than usual. Master Disuu would always huff in frustration whenever Kiki got energetic like this, but she couldn’t help it. “Can you teach me how to say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ in Mill-lil-lian again?”

“It’s Mirialan, and no, dearest, I cannot. You’ve got a class to be with!” Master Namya laid a large hand on both the girls’ heads to stop their bouncing. “Hef-ahli, you really did wander off, didn’t you?”

Kiki drifted to one of the plush chairs and threw herself across it with all the aggrieved flair a six-year-old could muster. “What’s hef-ahli?” Hahkin grabbed her own squishy chair and laid across it.

Master Namya’s tail twitched back and forth. “It’s how one sighs or says ‘oh my’ in Mirialan. It’s quite useful for little rascals like you, no?”

“Hef-ahli!” Kiki cried.

“Hef-ahli!” Hahkin parroted. 

Master Namya squatted down beside them so that all his height was almost as short as the kiddie shelves. “Let’s say we get back to—”

“Hello, hello…” an old woman’s voice croaked. Her can tapped the ground as she walked into the alcove. She was pale green in a soft, weathered way, and a thousand wrinkles lined her face. Even though her eyes drooped, her deep emerald eyes shone bright, and her head was topped with fluffy white hair like a cloud. 

Kiki stopped moping, not because of the intrusion but because of the accent that came with it. The old master was Verocian. Kiki stared. Besides Nirisa, Kiki didn’t know there were other Verocians in the whole temple. The old woman’s accent made the same pang in her chest that windows and warm light did. 

This was familiar. This felt safe. Not that Kiki had ever felt unsafe in the Temple, but this safe was different. Older, buried deep inside her. She knew this.

-- A snippet of the second chapter. Bernie belongs to the wonderful @jaigeye

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Hell yeah I’m enjoying the CloneHub Cinematic Universe! I’m like a sponge, absorbing all the great, well thought out lore, especially seeing you work in your own culture.

Wow I didn’t know that about the word ratchet, that sucks. I only knew it as the tool!

I do the same with names, usually start off with something that sounds cool or good then I build off from there. Not all the time though.

Ridge is my favorite clone oc of yours, seeing his growth is wonderful. And seeing the jealousy Bliz has of him is really interesting.

Oh Jax, that’s so sad that he doesn’t see himself as special! (Anxiety and baldness made me laugh tho, sorry Jax)

And I don’t mind that you added the others! I love Kiki’s changes in name too. Also Kiki and Nirisa being the dawn and sunset is so good, both beautiful names. Also it’s great that you gave the female characters less typical feminine names, breath of fresh air.

Thanks for answering my question!

ahhhh anon im so glad you like what ive got going on!

yeah with ridge and bliz. man. ridge going from this supremely traumatized touch-averse clone with ID issues/this weird dysphoria about being a clone to a very emotionally mature adult who loves all his brothers and is able to heal makes me feels SO good to think about. Although messy teenaged ridge is my favorite phase of him, I've been thinking about how he and Bliz interact when years have passed between them and they've both changed in a lot of ways before seeing one another again.

Ridge wants to be brothers with bliz. he actively works at this. Bliz is so ashamed of how he acted that he's making it difficult but Ridge is extremely patient with him. "I want my brother back" is the guiding mantra for all of Ridge's interactions with Bliz even if Bliz shies away from social settings for ages after he's freed.

But they work it out. and they get better.

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thinking about hahkin and kiki. hahkin's life being taken so soon. she's in her mid twenties. she'd seen kiki's baby like once. the way its decades and decades that pass. kiki goes through two more loves in her life. and still she'll think of hahkin, and she'll get a dull ache in her chest. she'll think of what life would be like for them. she knows if hahkin survived she probably wouldn't have dewan and paradise. but that love her has for her is part of her soul now. she misses sunlaou. she misses nirisa. she wonders what her life would be like if they'd all been able to be a family, openly and unashamedly.

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when kiki and her last-living immediate family member, something kiki can hardly even quantify, are laying on the floor together trying to talk each other through the unique grief of losing people you hardly knew but feeling the pain as though youd lost someone you knew your whole life. the concept of parental death being so far from kiki that she doesnt understand why she feels so torn up about her mother dying. even though she felt it. even though she watched as the palace was bombed. and her older sister (her last one, she thinks. she'd had three and in the span of a day, she lost two of them) says at least nirisa is resting now with her family.

kiki wonders how one replaces a sister. parents die. friends break up. but nobody could get her a sister or get her a new bond or go back in time and warn her that she should be trying harder to be nice, should be trying harder to hear her.

(she doesnt know that nirisa was thinking this same thing nonstop in the three days before her death)

kiki's sister says she has a home here, always. she will take care of whats left of their family. she can sense the anger in her--an anger that felt as old as kiki was. she can almost pinpoint the day it was created.

kiki doesnt think that in just a few short months, she'll take the now-queen of verocia up on her offer.

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i think its about time that i drew nirisa. at first, she and kiki were indentical twins, but as kiki's face came to look how it does now, i couldn't imagine anyone else having her face. so nirisa will be different

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So some more development for Kiki:

Her sister dies and the Jedi have a funeral. Kiki mourns what could have been an amazing relationship between her and her twin. There was just too much in the way.

Kiki is grieving and she's a messy griever. She misses her sister. She, in a way, blames the Jedi. She blames herself. Kiki wants to take Nirisas body back to Verocia for a proper funeral.

Nirisas master and best friend are fighting her on it, but in this moment she does not care about the code or attachment. She won't have peace until she knows Nirisa is nowhere near the Temple. Nirisas best friend is demanding (begging) to know why Kiki would take her back to a planet she's hardly visited to be buried by people who never knew her. The best friend doesn't understand the cultural weight of death for Verocians, and Kiki is definitely not being considerate of the other people in Nirisas life who might have feelings about her funeral.

They lecture her about the code and she lectures them back. A body is just a body there is only the force yadda yadda so why do *you* care, hm? Kiki also takes Nirisas lightsaber. She's trying to collect as much as her sister as she can because they never got that chance to be the friends they should have been.

Kiki eventually gets her way. How id described this to others was that Kiki couldn't grieve properly in the Temple. She needed to shriek-sob and scream and cry and then lay on the ground motionless for days. She needed to go through the process of celebrating life physically--the sights, the sounds, the food. Other Verocian Jedi would have accompanied her because only they really would have understood, anyways.

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CHAPTER 3

As Kiki grew, so did her dissonance with the Jedi. 

Master Odile’s expectation that Kiki receive lessons and visitations with the other members of the Verocian Jedi enclave didn’t always pan out. The Jedi were a studious people, and any time that wasn’t spent meditating was spent studying, learning, teaching—learning to teach, helping others learn (or teach), or something else entirely. By the time Kiki was thirteen, she had more on her plate than she had time to visit the other Verocians.

But when she did visit, she stayed as long as possible. She learned about herself, her culture. She developed a love for both cooking and eating food, and she read whatever holobooks she could get her hands on. Kiki and Nirisa regained their fluency in Verinese, though Nirisa was less interested in some aspects of the culture than Kiki was. She learned they were princesses and their mother was the queen of an entire planet. By condition of their being with the Jedi, they had no claim to the throne. They had two older sisters. 

As Kiki grew, so did her dissonance with the Jedi. So did her dissonance with the Force. 

What was once obtrusive static upon opening the door to the Force became a teeth-grinding, skin-prickling wail if she let it all in the wrong way or at the wrong time. It was like the emotions that should have been flowing through the door built up on the other side. They fermented, growing new connectors and problems and textures while Kiki was blissfully unaware on the other side of the door. When it opened, it was painful. So she kept it closed. 

A good Jedi doesn’t close themselves off to the Force.

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Actually of course this also does provide more justification/fuel for how I write Kiki and her inability to grieve properly as a person but also as a Jedi (and, attached to that, while physically in the order). Her Force ability is a blessing and a curse. There's no letting emotions pass through her without feeling them first. The Force will go into her mind and intensify what she can sense from others, hence why she tunes it out. So when Nirisa died and the platitudes that she was one with the Force now were doing more harm than good, Kiki had to physically be on a different planet go feel some sense of peace.

But the whole thing was a fucked up situation for her. She watched her sister die right in front of her. They were two strong Force-sensitives who'd shared a womb. There's no getting around that. Kiki wasnt as close to her sister as she would have liked to be and they both felt that way. It was strange to go to her funeral on Verocia and feel so many people mourn her even though they'd never known her. Nirisas close friend had made a similar comment to kiki before she took her body back to Verocia.

But the love was there nonetheless, which surprised kiki and actually helped her mourn.