#Nirisa is killed

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Kiki is laying on the floor of her would-be childhood room, depressed after the funeral for Nirisa. Her sister comes in and lays down on the floor across from her.

Kiki: the masters said the Force was a peaceful ocean, and the loss of one Jedi was merely a drop. the tides will rise and fall and the cycle continues. It's supposed to prevent despair, to help us feel less like each loss is a monumental devastation, but this doesn't feel like an ocean, it's a HOLE, a gaping hole, in my -- I can feel it. It's a wound I don't know how to fill and it repulses me but I can't stop touching it. There's a hole in the Force where my sister should be. I'm scared I'm going to follow. I'm scared I'm going to fall in.

Kiki begins to sob.

Kiki: I should have known her. Her last day with me, she was trying to get to know me. She was giving me advice. I didn't even -- my own sister -- now our mother's dead and I feel like I was closest to Nirisa when I shared a womb with her.

Okunna: Is this what's called 'attachment'?

Kiki nods.

Okunna: (beat) I can't say I understand your religion or all of your beliefs, but this one, I do. Nobody should ever feel like you do now. Nobody should wail like you did.

Kiki: I'm breaking the Code.

Okunna: Then break it. Break it here, now, where the pieces don't matter and the shards cannot hurt you. Pour out every drop in that ocean until you're empty.

Kiki: I-I can't--

Okunna: I will help you clean it up, my sister. Then you can return to the Temple in one piece.

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Kiki had a twin named Nirisa. Her closest friend besides Hahkin. Nirisa was the golden child of their friend group--near-mastery of the Force and her special ability, which was foresight. Even tho they didn't see eye to eye a lot of things, Kiki felt connected to Nirisa the way nobody else could. Perhaps they didn't need to agree on everything because they were in tune with one another already.

Nirisa makes efforts to be closer to Kiki, spend more time around her. She offers advice more, tells her to calm down more, basically nags Kiki more than usual. It goes on for days. Random calls in the middle of the night. Kiki first tolerates and then ignores and then pushes back on it.

Nirisa dies--is killed right in front of kiki. Kiki realizes that Nirisa had been attempting to say goodbye for four days straight because she'd foreseen her own death.

Kiki can barely cope with the pain, so she pretends her sister hardly existed.

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this has been in my drafts for over a month sorry @ka1imba and @transfemgodtamer both of whom i am not able to tag for some reason

but well.......ill talk about Nirisa, since I rarely do.

Nirisa is Kiki's older twin sister. She has a thinner face and green eyes. I think they're fraternal twins but I'mn not sure yet (just bc her face in my head is v different from Kiki's).

Nirisa is a "perfect" Jedi in that, unlike most Veorcians, she doesn't have some kind of caveat on her Force Ability. She has visions/premonitions about the future. She tries very hard to be a very good Jedi, follow all the rules, and does make the occasional attempt to keep Kiki in line.

Nirisa wishes she and Kiki could be closer.

They have a lot of ideological differences about the jedi order, about their role in the war, about the Force. Kiki's much more radical in that she thinks many of the rules should be heavily re examined and she increasingly loses support for the war. Nirisa fully believes they're on the right side of history for joining the war effort. She initially doesn't really support Kiki's network to free clones, thinking it too risky and too treasonous, but she later changes her mind.

She really wishes she could be closer with Kiki. They both wish they could be closer.

Nirisa's the type of jedi the younglings are told to look up to. She doesn't ask too many questions. She does her duty. She meditates regularly, always trusting in the Force. She's not forceful or too aggressive and has good control over her emotions. When the Force shows her a terrifying vision, she doesn't panic.

She very much stifles herself into the image of perfection. it both does and doesn't feel natural to hold herself back.

When she gets the vision of her own death, she breaks one of her own rules and allows the fear and sickness and anger to fill her up. She never got to know her sister the way their mutual friends do. She regrets all the times she did more scolding the guiding, and more guiding than trying to simply get to know Kiki. Maybe she could have taken Kiki up on more of her offers to go out for a night on the town, or train together, or go to a tap cafe. Anything.

If it's one thing Nirisa has learned, it's that telling people about her visions rarely produces anything satisfactory. So she tries her best to say goodbye with what little time they have--three days. She tries to chat, she tries to talk, to make jokes, so wish Kiki goodluck without hinting at what's to come. She knows Kiki well enough to know that her death will destroy her sister, that the gaps in their relationship will hurt her as much as the actual loss. The regret will eat her alive.

As awkward as the conversation is, Nirisa tries to make sure Kiki's knows she loves her, and she pretends it doesn't hurt with Kiki responds with more confusion than anything else. A few hours later, Nirisa is killed in front of Kiki in battle on their homeplanet.

I wanna talk about my OCs :/

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I very frequently forget to mention that Kiki had a twin sister named Nirisa who was killed early in the war. She was a green eyed, more stable version of Kiki.

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Nkerina Ogbodei / Kiki Dei

Gender: woman

Pronouns: she/her

Age: ~21 at the start of the war, roughly 24 by the end

Sexuality: bisexual (preference for women)

Height: 5'10''

Weight: idk close to 200 pounds I imagine

Species: Verocian (a species I made up)

Occupation: Jedi (686th), smuggler (post O66), princess throughout (No claim to throne)

Relationships: current best friend/former fwb (no name, Zeltron woman), Commander Bliz (fwb), Jax (husband, post order 66), Nirisa Ogbodei (twin, now deceased)

General description: Nkerina Ogbodei (known as Kiki Dei) is a Jedi Knight. She doesn't have attachment issues, but when she does express them, they tend to be self-destructive more than outwardly destructive. She has blue skin, purple eyes, and black curly hair. She has a square-round face and full lips.

Positive traits: caring, outgoing & friendly, outspoken, generally positive and enthusiastic, encouraging

Negative traits: dismissive, stubborn, not prone to controlling her emotions (whatever they may be), low sense of self preservation that only gets worse, self sacrificial, Highly Opinionated, not fond of authority

Early life: Kiki was a princess, the youngest of four daughters, to the planet Verocia. She had an only twin sister named Nirisa. In a rare and highly unpopular move, her parents sent both children to the Jedi Order to be raised. Kiki never liked the Jedi and often found it difficult to full fit in with them. She has a learning disorder and a special Force ability/hindrane that doesn't help things.

Padawan: Kiki's difficulties as a youngling got her her former Master, known by all as the Temple Hardass. Their relationship was not good. Most of their missions were spent doing anti-slavery work around the galaxy. She did go through a normal Knight Trial, instead spending weeks aiding and leading a succesful slave revolt entirely on her own. She is not on speaking terms with her master.

Knight: Kiki was assigned the 686th Battalion, a relief/aid battalion that does battle when their assistance is needed. Her first commander was Commander Ace, a man whom she described as having "a slowly developing sense of humor". He was killed in battle. She field-promoted his underling, now-Commander Bliz. She had many succesful relief missions, and the vast majority of her battles were wins with low casualties due to her unique and cautious battle style. Her home planet suffered an invasion by the Separtists, during which her twin sister was killed. She starts a relationship with Commander Bliz and ends it soon after. The war takes a heavy toll on her. During its run, disgusted with the Jedi's lack of concern for the clones and their rights, Kiki pulls strings and sets up a safety net of both medications and escape routes for clones who no longer want to be part of the army. About a year prior to the end of the war, Kiki is assaulted and falls pregnant. She is pregnant as acting general, and then before the due date, leaves the order, citing ideological differences that she can no longer ignore. She goes to one of Verocia's moons to raise her child with her extended family.

Order 66 and beyond: Kiki survives Order66 because she left a few weeks before it happened. She senses the gaping wound in the Force. She'd never stopped pulling clones out of the GAR; a few weeks to a year after ORder 66, Kiki pulls out the remaining members of Crusade Squad: Jax, Marik, Edger, and Ratchet, and the Cord and COmmander Bliz. Ridge she had smuggled out prior to her leaving.

She forms a relationship with Jax, and they get married. She doesn't stop smuggling out any clone she can, and during her third pregnancy (second was a boy with Jax) she stresses herself to the point of near miscarriage. Jax points out the ultimatum: either carry on with smuggling and lose her family, or stay with her family and let others handle at least this mission. She leaves the mission and has her third child, a Force sensitive girl.

Kiki does not live as long as the average Verocian. The average Verocian lives to more than one hundred, on average. Kiki makes it to about 70.