#nikki angioli | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starryevermore · 1 year ago

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begging for you to take my hand ✧ leo campo

angst city™ library | send in a request (consult request faqs first)

request: leo campo requests?? did i read that right because yes please!! if you’d like to write something angsty with reader being in love with Leo but Leo loves Nikki? it can or cannot have a happy ending, whichever you feel like (although i am a sucker for happy endings hehe) but yeah and it can be anything you like

honestly anything with Leo you wish to write would be a great read 💙 thank you and no pressure, only if you’d like to - @sunshine-on-my-mind

pairing: leo campo x fem!reader

summary: you loved leo all your life, but he never spared you a second glance. when he finally starts to notice you, his attention is taken just as quickly. you’re ready to forget anything ever happened, but he can’t let you go.

word count: 5,717

warnings?: angst with a happy ending, pining, unrequited love (or so you think), insecurities, miscommunication, misunderstanding, love confession, ending is a little rushed, not proofread

Leo Campo was an easy man to love. What was hard, was not being the only person vying for his attention. And for most of your life, the person who won his attention was none other than Nikki Angioli. You understood, of course. Nikki was everything you weren’t. Beautiful, charismatic, smart as a whip. It was easy for Leo to love her.Whenever you were with Leo and Nikki, it felt like you were a third wheel. After all, they were practically born to be best friends. Their parents worked together, they got to see each other pretty much every hour of every day. Meanwhile, you were just someone they sort of…Well, not tolerated. It was more than that. You were sure they considered you to be a friend. But you were never someone they really sought out. You were there, and therefore you were their friend.

It’s just…it’s hard to be part of a trio. No matter how easy Percy, Annabeth, and Grover made it look, it was fucking hard. There was always, always, always someone left out. And that someone was almost always, probably 99.9999% of the time…You. You weren’t sure that Leo and Nikki meant to leave you out, but it always tended to happy. Perhaps it was because their families worked together for so long, perhaps it was because they were practically branded as besties ever since their mothers got pregnant, perhaps it was because they were twin flames or some cheesy shit like that. Whatever it was, you knew that you could easily fall to the wayside and neither of them would probably notice.

In a lot of ways, they didn’t.

It felt like every time something incredible happened to you, something awful would happen to either Leo or Nikki and all of the attention would be focused on making sure they were okay. If, Heaven forbid, something horrible happened to you, something would great happen to them and how dare you bring down the mood by talking about your struggles. Which—don’t get you wrong—it was absolutely valid to lend Leo and Nikki a shoulder to cry on or celebrate with them. It’s just, they so rarely kept the same energy for you.

The friendship fell apart quite easily. Between the rivalry between their fathers that forced Leo and Nikki apart and you taking on more responsibility at the bakery when your mother died, everyone drifted apart. You were still friendly when you saw them at school or around the neighborhood, and so were they, but it was different. It wasn’t the same, and you weren’t sure it ever would be. As you all got older, the distance grew even greater. Leo took on jobs at both his father’s pizza shop and at Luigi’s. Nikki moved to London to go to cooking school. And you…You stayed where you had been for years, working at your mother’s bakery, hoping that one day you might catch Leo’s eye.

Then, one day, it felt like the stars had aligned and all your wishes had come true.

You were about to close up the bakery for the night when the jingle of the bell above the door alerted you to the last minute customer. You barely looked up from your sweeping, shouting out, “We’re closed! Come back tomorrow!”

“Ah, you’re really gonna turn your best friend away?”

The broom nearly fell from your hands. You tightened your grip on it as you looked up to see the beautiful blue eyes you always dreamed of. (God, this was pathetic, even for a hopeless romantic.) You swallowed hard. “Would you keep Luigi’s open longer just for one customer?”

“If it was for a pretty girl, I might.”

Was that supposed to be directed at you? Was he calling you a pretty girl? Or was Leo just being quippy? Fuck. Just being around the man made you an anxious teenager all over again.

You huffed out a laugh and shook your head. You tried to not make it obvious the effect he had on you, but you weren’t entirely sure you were successful. “I suppose you’re pretty enough. What’dya need?”

“Ma’s birthday is coming up. I was hoping I could order a cake for her?” Leo asked, leaning against the glass case. “She always loved your cakes.”

You propped the broom against the wall and grabbed your order sheet and a pen. “Sure thing. Anything specific?”

Leo shrugged. “Nah, she’ll lover anything you make her. You can have total creative control.”

You smiled a little, jotting down a few ideas on the paper. “And when do you need this by?”

Leo was quiet. Which scared you, because Leo is never quiet. When you glanced up at him, he had a pink tint on his cheeks and he was trying to avoid your gaze.

“Leo…When do you need the cake by?” you repeated.

“Tomorrow? Morning?”

You gasped. Without thinking, you threw your pen at him. Your aim was terrible, so it soared straight passed his head became hitting the ground. But Leo flinched nonetheless, throwing his arms up to shield himself from anything else you might throw at him. “You’re a terrible son!” you said.

“I know! I know!” Leo slowly lowered his arms, trying to gauge if you were going to throw anything again. “I just got busy, ya know? Between Pa’s restaurant, and bartending, and coaching the kids’ soccer team, I lost track of time!”

“It took you all of five seconds to place the order! How hard would it have been to just call? Hell, you could’ve submitted an order on my fucking website!”

“I know!” Leo fully lowered his arms, pouting at you. “I just didn’t know if you wanted to hear from me.”

You were caught between wanting to yell at him more—because what did that mean? he was the one who stopped talking to you!—and wanting to melt into a puddle of goo. Instead, you found the happy medium of letting out a sigh. You said, “Leo, you know I always love hearing from you.”

Leo perked up a little. “So you’ll make the cake?”

“Only because it’s for your ma,” you said. “And you’ll be charged a rush fee.”

“Deal!”

“And you get your pretty ass in the back and help me make it, so I can actually get home at a half decent time.”

A smirk crossed Leo’s face. He leaned back over the case. “You think my ass is pretty?”

Fuck, you hadn’t meant to say that. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. How do you recover from this?

“You, me, and the rest of Little Italy,” you said. A joke, it was. At least that got a chuckle from Leo. As he walked over to the other side of the case, you added, “And if you ever think about making an order the night before you need something, I have no qualms with kicking your ass.”

“Ah, but then my ass wouldn’t be pretty no more, would it? And what a shame that would be.”

“So conceited,” you said. But as he passed you to walk into the kitchen, you couldn’t help yourself from swatting at his ass. Leo yelped, his hands flying to his ass. He turned, looked at you scandalized. “Dunno, still looks pretty to me.”

“You’re awful.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

Leo stares at you for a long moment. You almost begin to wonder if you took things too far. You’d hardly said more than “hi” and “can I get an amaretto sour?” over the last few years. Was this crossing a line? But finally, he offers you a soft smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Thank you so much, again,” Leo said the next morning when he came to pick up the cake. “I owe you big time.”

You shake your head as you ring him up at the cash register. “It’s for your Ma. I’d do anything for her after all the shit we put her through when we were kids.”

“True, but you really didn’t—” Leo frowned as he looked at the total. “Hey, where’s that huge rush fee you were telling me you were going to charge me?”

You raised a brow. “Are you really complaining about paying less?”

“When I made you stay after work for hours? Hell yeah I am. Charge me like anyone else!” Leo argued.

“Not gonna happen. I already made you pay by forcing you to help me and listen to my Taylor Swift playlist the entire time.”

“Hey, I loved the Taylor Swift playlist! Now, you charge me whatever exorbitant fee you can think of right now!”

“No, no way. Consider it a gift to a friend. Or better yet, use the money you saved from not paying the fee to get your Ma a gift from me. I saw her eyeing a bottle of wine the other day. I could point the bottle out to you—”

Leo leaned over the glass case, narrowing his eyes at you. “Fine. I’ll let you waive the fee and buy Ma some wine. But only if you agree to let me treat you to dinner tomorrow night.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “That sounds like a threat.”

“Consider it one,” he said. His face softens a little as he adds, “And maybe consider it an apology? For me being a shitty friend?”

You reached across the counter and patted Leo’s cheek. “For you? Of course.”

A grin stretched across the face. “Great. Come over to my place tomorrow around five?”

“It’s a date.”

Leo’s eyes twinkled as he confirmed, “It’s a date.”

He picked up the cake and left the store, but before shooting you a goofy smile and waved. You laughed, waving back. You were so engrossed with watching him jog across the street to his father’s restaurant that you didn’t notice Gabbie, your best cake decorator, sneak up beside you.

“A date, huh?” she echoed.

You jumped. How did you not see her before? Had you been that lost in Leo’s pretty blue eyes? Trying to play it nonchalant, you shrugged. “I don’t think he meant it that way.”

She raised a brow. “Are we talking about the same man? Because, lemme tell you, I don’t think he’s ever looked that mesmerized with a girl before.”

Gabbie never saw him with Nikki, you wanted to say. But, instead, you said, “He just feels bad because I didn’t make him pay the rush fee after he ordered a cake last night. He just feels like he owes a debt. Italian men and their pride, ya know?”

“That wasn’t pride and you know it, girlie. Look, if you wanna delude yourself, fine. But I’m telling you, there’s something there.”

What Gabbie didn’t know about you was, you were the queen of delusion. You spend practically your entire childhood deluding yourself with the idea that one day Leo would see you for the woman you are, to realize that you were his soulmate. And you got your heart broke in the long run because of it. You weren’t about to let yourself get hurt again. Leo was not going to break your heart. You wouldn’t let him.

“We’re just friends. That’s all.”

Gabbie eyed you, trying to see if there would be a crack in your resolve. “Whatever you say.”

When you came in to open the bakery the next day, you knew something was wrong. Mostly because Gabbie was standing at the door, waiting for you, with her arms crossed and a nasty look on her face. As you unlocked the door, you eyed her, trying to figure what was the source of her frustration. But all she did was turn her glare to the pizza shops across the street. And, well…Whatever that was about wasn’t good.

You were caught between addressing the issue and waiting for her to finally say what was on her mind. You leaned toward waiting, so you began running through all of the opening tasks. Gabbie would open up soon enough. She just liked to stew in her anger before she vented. So, waiting was the best option. If you pushed, she would only get more annoyed.

Finally, she asked, “You wanna know what I heard from Bella?”

You looked in her direction as you wipe down the counter. “Probably some rumor that could swing either way in its truthfulness.”

Gabbie huffed. “Don’t make jokes right now. This is serious!”

A frown settled on your face as you gave her your full attention. “What’d she tell you?”

“Nikki’s back in town,” Gabbie said as she placed a tray of cookies in the case.

“Oh?”

You wanted to read into it. You really, really did. But you forced yourself to stamp down your assumptions, your worries. That part of you was probably being irrational, anyways. All Gabbie said was that Nikki was back and that could mean anything—

“Rumor has it she and Leo went back to his apartment last night,” she continued. She leaned in, her eyebrows raised. “After getting drunk together and playing soccer in the rain.” Her face screwed up like she was sucking on a Lemonhead. “Isn’t that romantic?”

It felt like your heart dropped to your stomach. Of course. Of course he would take her back to his place. Why wouldn’t he? They were practically destined to be together. And with the family rivalry? It was a star-crossed lovers situation if you’d ever seen one.

You swallowed your hurt. “So romantic.”

“So romantic I could kill him, you know,” Gabbie said.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain in your chest. “Don’t. I’m sure it wasn’t what it…I’m sure he…Fuck, I don’t know. But don’t kill him, okay? Not until I get a chance to talk to him.”

“He doesn’t get to make you feel like he’s finally seen you for the incredible woman you are and then welcome her into his bed the second she rolls into town!” Gabbie argued.

“He just said he was making me dinner to make off a debt. And I really don’t think he meant anything when I said it’s a date. Really, it would be my fault for reading into it—”

“I’m going over there right now to give a piece of my mind—”

You grabbed Gabbie by the elbow, stopping her on her warpath. “Don’t. Please.”

She huffed, rolling her eyes. Gabbie looked through the window at the restaurants across the street. If looks could kill, she would probably have exploded those buildings. “You’re too good for him, you know.”

But not good enough, you wanted to say.

The entire day, the questions of what could be happening between Leo and Nikki ate at you. Was there something between them? Were they finally acting on the tension that existed between them for all those years? Had you let your hopes get too high when Leo promised your dinner? If you went to his apartment, would you be left with only pain and heartache?

Though Gabbie was harboring all of your anger for you, she did her best to try to distract you. To not let your mind wander too far. But it was all for naught. Because, when you left the bakery, all you wanted to do was run home and forget all of this happened. If you ignored this, if you pretended you forgot, you could avoid all of the hurt. You wouldn’t be giving Leo the power to break your heart. And, in some ways, running away made you weak, but at least it would keep you whole.

Nothing could have prepared you to see Nikki standing out when you reached Leo’s apartment. Had Leo forgotten that he had made plans with you? Were you that replaceable? You took a deep breath, trying in vain to steady your nerves, and walked up, hitting the buzzer for Leo’s apartment.

Nikki looked at you, her brows furrowed together. She almost looked like she had something snarky she wanted to say before she realized who you were. “Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“That’s what happens you put an ocean between us,” you teased. You hoped you sounded lighthearted. You hoped bitterness didn’t creep into your voice.

If it did, Nikki didn’t give any indication. She held a hand up in defense. “Hey, you got me there. What’re you doing here?”

You nod at the door. “Leo promised to make me dinner.”

Nikki’s face drops. “Oh, shit. Are you two—”

“He just owed me, is all,” you are quick to add. “He ordered a cake for his Ma after I already closed for the day, and he needed it the next morning. I wouldn’t charge him the rush fee, so he insisted he make me dinner as a repayment.”

“Italian men and their pride,” she laughed. She glanced up at Leo’s apartment. “So, is he…?”

“Seeing anyone? Nah, he loves the single life too much for that,” you said. “What about you? What’re you doing here?”

Nikki raised the soccer ball she had had tucked under her arm. “I just came to see if he wanted to play a game or two. We tried last night, but it was pouring the rain and we were drunk, so not really a fair competition. Gotta see if I can still kick his ass or not, ya know?”

You laughed. “I’m sure you could. His pride gets to him, so he’s still easy to knock down a peg or two.”

“Right?” Nikki’s face dropped. “Oh, shit. I can go? Because you already have plans with him and all—”

Before you could say anything, the door swung open. Yours and Nikki’s head snapped to look at him. Leo looked between the two of you, as if this perhaps was his worst nightmare. His gaze settled on Nikki first. “Hey!”

Nikki smiled. God, she had a beautiful smile. You could see why Leo always had a thing for her. “Hey! I just came to see if you wanted to play a few rounds?”

Leo smiled, too. A part of you wished he would smile at you like that. But that was just the schoolgirl crush talking. It was never something that could actually happen. Not when his heart still sang for Nikki, even after all these years. “Yeah, I’d love to. Let me go get my shoes—” He paused, his head snapping toward you. “Wait. Actually, I already—”

“We can have dinner another time,” you said, already turning to walk away. “Not every day your best friend comes back to town, right? You can just, like, stop by the bakery when you get a chance and we’ll figure it out, yeah?”

“Wait—”

“It’s no big deal, really—” You began to walk away, waving goodbye. “Nikki, make sure you get him some ice packs, yeah? For when you bruise his ego?”

Nikki let out a laugh, waving back at you. “Will do.”

You nearly made your escape when you heard Leo mutter something to Nikki. Your heart stuttered in your chest as you heard him chase after you. Though you wanted to turn, to see if he was choosing you, you kept going. You weren’t going to let him break your heart. But damn him. Damn him and his long legs and his long stride.

Leo quickly overtook you, stopping in front of you, his hands held out in front of him like he was taming a velociraptor in Jurassic World. “Woah, woah. Stop, hey.”

You looked back at Nikki, who was staring at the two of you. “Go, Leo. I’m fine.”

“No, I promised you—”

“It’s Nikki, Leo. You could never say no to her before. I wouldn’t expect you to say no to her now.”

Leo’s brows furrowed together. He almost looked confused. But, how could he be? Was he really so oblivious to how he preferred Nikki over you for all those years? Did he forget in the few minutes that had passed that he was ready to ditch dinner with you to play soccer with her? Did he think you hadn’t noticed all of that? “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s obvious you’re into her. I’m not going to get between that.”

“There’s nothing going on between Nikki and I.”

You raised a brow. Seriously? Was he really going to route? Latching onto a technicality—that they weren’t really together? “But you want there to be. I mean, you have been head over heels for her since we were kids.”

“That’s not true!” Leo almost sounded desperate, like he couldn’t believe you were saying all of this. Was he this in denial about his feelings?

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. “Yeah? Then how come for years you chose to be with her over me? At every field trip, you wanted to be her buddy. For every group project, you chose her. How many times did you two run off without me? Leo, you didn’t even show up after my mother’s funeral because you spent the week helping Nikki look for her lost cat—”

“That’s not fair—”

“Whenever that stupid feud between your families started and you two couldn’t be friends anymore, you stopped hanging out with me. I wasn’t even fucking surprised by it, you know? And that maybe hurt more than you not being my friend anymore. Because you always meant more to me than I did to you. You haven’t spoken to me in years, and you only did because you needed something for your Ma. I’m not your first pick, and that’s okay. But what isn’t okay is you trying to rewrite history when you don’t like being confronted with the reality.”

Leo said your name softly. He reached for you, but you took a step back. You wouldn’t let him do this. You wouldn’t let him hurt you.

You took a breath. “Go, have fun with Nikki. Forget you even promised me dinner, okay? Consider your debt forgiven.”

Leo tried to reach for you again, but you stepped around him. He turned to look at you, but you wouldn’t meet his gaze. “You mean more to me than you think.”

“But not more than her.” You took another breath. You could feel the tears pricking at your eyes. It took everything in you to not cry. Because you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. Not in front of him. “Let’s just go back to the way things used to be, yeah?”

“I don’t want to—”

“But I do. I won’t play second fiddle anymore. I won’t let myself be hurt anymore.”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“And that might be the worst part.”

You walked away, pieces of your heart leaving a path between you and him. If this was a movie, if this was a silly little romance novel, Leo might have been standing there, trying to collect the pieces so he might put your heart back together again. But, when you were turning a corner, you spared a glance back at him.

He was walking with Nikki, an arm around her shoulders.

The one thing about Leo was, he listened. So when you told him you wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, you knew he would abide by that wish. And he did. The most you ever saw of Leo was when you glanced out the bakery window and happened to catch him coming in or leaving his father’s restaurant, or when you ordered something at Luigi’s whenever Gabbie managed to drag you out. And when you did see him, you would never meet his gaze. You didn’t want to be faced with his hurt, or, worse, his indifference. It was better that you forgot the brief glimmer of hope that Leo liked you in the same way you liked him.

Gabbie would tell you that he was always looking your way, but you felt like she was only trying to make you feel better. Why would Leo bother himself with you? He finally had everything he could have wanted. It didn’t matter that you were not a part of his life, because it had never mattered that you were not a part of his life. If it had mattered, then how could Leo have spent all these years not paying you any mind? Little Italy was little. For Leo to avoid you, he would have had to gone out of his way to do so.

Sometimes, though, when you were in your apartment, you’d look out the window and imagine that Leo was out there, about to confess his love for you like this was one of those cheesy rom coms you held so dearly. He was never there.

If you were honest with yourself, you were a little surprised at how much it hurt. You had been no stranger to Leo’s absence before. So why did it feel like he had ripped out your heart and stomped it? (Damn him. Damn him for giving you a glimmer of hope.)

“Eat.”

Gabbie dropped a plate in front of you on the coffee table. You eyed the slice of pizza, your nose wrinkling. As you pushed the plate away, you grumbled, “Seriously? You break into my home and put pizza in front of you?”

“It’s from across town. Not even a pizzeria in Little Italy. It’s, like, the ultimate form of rebellion.” Gabbie sat next to your curled up body on the couch and reached out to rub your back. “You need to eat something besides the scraps at the bakery. I mean, it’s not even something healthy, so you can be in your eat-junk-and-cry spiral.”

“I would rather just be sad.”

“You can be sad and eat.”

“And I haven’t been crying.”

Gabbie raised a brow. She didn’t look like she believed you. You could hardly blame her. Ever since that day, you had been elbows deep in a shame spiral, trying to forget the hope you felt that Leo might, just finally might, like you the way you always liked him.

“I haven’t. Really, Gabs. I just…want to watch sad movies and pretend that he never showed up at the bakery.”

“You can’t even say his name, you can admit that you’re hurt—”

Gabbie was silenced at a loud knock at your door. She looked at you, her brows furrowed together. But you had no idea who it was either. You hadn’t ordered anything on lately, you hadn’t ordered takeout, and you certainly hadn’t invited anyone over. Gabbie was only here because she had a key to your apartment.

Who else could it be?

“Do you want me—?”

You shook your head, pushing yourself up. No, you had to see this. You had to see who had the audacity to show up. You wrapped your blanket around your shoulders a little more securely and padded over to the door. As you took a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself, when another series of knocks rapped at your door. You reached for the knob, turning it slowly, and pulled the door open.

What stood on the other side made you want to slam the door shut again. And he seemed to know you had that very thought.

Leo reached out, sticking his hand out, stopping the door from shutting. “Please.”

Your lip quivered. Fuck. You had been holding it together so well before. But now that he was here, standing in front of you, all of those emotions you were trying your damned hardest to ignore, were rising straight to the surface. But you couldn’t cry. Not in front of him. Not now.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone.”

Leo stepped closer to you, stepping into the threshold of your apartment. Part of you wanted to push him out, kick and scream, tell him that he didn’t have the right to force himself into your life, to pick you up and act like your friend when it was convenient to him. That you were a person, and you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. But another part of you, the part that still hoped for good things, wanted to pretend this was your rom com moment where the guy makes a grand love confession that sparks the happily ever after.

“You did. And I tried, I really did. But I missed you.” He tried to reach out for you, but you jumped out of the way. “I never wanted to hurt you. I know that doesn’t make this any better, but I’m willing to spend the rest of my life trying to get this right.”

You squeezed your eyes shut when you felt the tears start to prick. “You’re just saying this because you feel bad. You don’t…Look, just go be with Nikki. Don’t feel like you have to grovel or whatever for me. I’m fine. I’m a big girl.”

When you opened your eyes again, Leo looked like he might cry himself. But…That didn’t make anything. Why would he get emotional over this? He was the one breaking your heart? “Nikki isn’t the one I want. I-I don’t know that she ever was.”

A frown settled on your face. That…No, that didn’t make any sense. Nikki had always been the one he gravitated towards. Nikki was the one he always chose. You were just there. “I don’t understand.”

Leo took a step closer to you. This time, you didn’t move away. Not when he stood so close that you could feel his breath fan across your face. Not when he cradled your face in his hands. Not when his thumbs brushed away the tears that managed to fall. “I’m in love with you. I always have been.”

“B-But Nikki—“

“What about her?” Leo took a breath, his eyes fluttering shut. “I thought, once, that she was who I wanted. But, I realized that I was lying to myself. Trying to trick myself into thinking I liked her because I thought she was someone I could be with. I, I never thought I was good enough for you. You’re a fucking angel, and all I’ve ever been is a little shit. I didn’t think there was a chance in hell that you’d like me back.”

You sniffled. “You made me feel like you didn’t give a shit about me, Leo. You followed Nikki around like a puppy, and the second she left for London, it’s like you were finally free of me. Like you didn’t have to pretend to be my friend anymore.”

“I didn’t know how to talk to you. I know that’s no excuse, but it’s true. When Nikki was around, she was like a buffer. If I fucked up, she made sure things weren’t weird. With her gone, I was scared that I would lose you. I didn’t realize that I already was.”

You shook your head. “Then why were you going to ditch me to play soccer with her? Why, why did you take her back to your apartment the night she came back?”

Leo’s brows pinched together. “How, how did you know I—? She was drunk and she wasn’t ready to see her family yet. I offered her a place to stay. But nothing happened, I promise. She slept in my bed, I slept on the couch. That’s it.”

“And why you ditched me?”

“I was just excited to see my friend again, and I acted like a total ass. That was what I was trying to protect you from, because I knew that I would fuck up. I knew I would hurt you somehow without meaning to. I’ve been kicking myself ever since you left that day.”

You shut your eyes, leaning into his hand. You wanted to believe him. God, you wanted to so bad. “What took you so long to say all of this?”

“I was trying to do what you wanted. I was scared to lose you anymore that I already had.” Leo took a breath. “Then I told Nikki what happened, and she chewed my ass out. Told me I needed to get my shit together because you weren’t going to be around forever. I don’t want to lose you. I never did.”

You wanted to argue more. You wanted to push harder. You wanted to ask more questions. Because this didn’t feel real. This was the sort of shit that only happened in movies and romance novels. This wasn’t your real life. But…He was here. And he loved you.

“Kiss me.”

Leo’s lips were on yours in a second. You could feel every ounce of desperation, of love, on his plush lips. He kissed you like a man running out of time. Like if he didn’t do this right, he would lose you. He kissed you like he was dying and you were breathing life back into him. It was everything you ever could have dreamed of.

“Holy shit, this is better than a Hallmark movie.”

You jumped apart, your head whipping around. Shit. You forgot Gabbie was still there. She eyed Leo, like she still might kill him for hurting you. But then she smiled as he tried to hide his bright red face.

“I think you still owe her a dinner.” Gabbie pointed to the pizza still sitting on the coffee table. “She’s starving, and refuses to eat that shit.”

Leo looked back to you, letting out a chuckle. “You want me to make you dinner?”

“Don’t let her tell you no. She hasn’t been eating anything but junk all week,” Gabbie said.

“Gabbie!”

Leo’s brows raised. “Well, we can’t have that, can we? C’mon, let’s go back to my place and I’ll make you something nice, yeah?”

You smiled, reaching for his hand to hold. “I would like that very much.”

You quickly slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed your keys, ready to leave, when Gabbie called out, “Hey! If you break her heart, I get to break your neck!”

“Good to know!” Leo called back. To you, he whispered, “Your friend is scary.”

“And serious about the threat,” you said.

He gave your hand a squeeze. “Well, she doesn’t have anything to worry about, because I’m not telling you go.”

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/movie-reviews-the-happytime-murders-least-funny-comedy-this-year/

Movie reviews: 'The Happytime Murders' least funny comedy this year

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS: 1 STAR

Make no mistake, “The Happytime Murders” is not a Muppet movie. Sure, the puppets look like they just wandered in from “Sesame Street,” but the latest Melissa McCarthy film takes place a few blocks away in a much worse part of town.

Set in a Los Angeles where humans and puppets co-exist—imagine “Who Framed Roger Rabbit’s” Toontown with hand puppets—“The Happytime Murders” is an R-rated comedy that sees the felt cast members of ’80s children’s TV show “The Happytime Gang” systematically murdered by a mysterious killer.

Next on the hit list is Jenny (Elizabeth Banks), a burlesque dancer who was the “The Happytime Gang’s” sole human cast member. She’s also the ex-girlfriend of Phil Philips (Bill Barretta), the first puppet to join the LAPD.

After a scandal pushed him off the force he became a private investigator but when his older brother and “The Happytime Gang” actor, Larry (Victor Yerrid), is offed, and with Jenny in danger, he teams up with his former partner Detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) to find the puppet serial killer. “If it gets crazy,” he says, “I’m going to get crazy.”

Repeat after me, “The Happytime Murders” is not a movie for kids.

With the first F-bomb less than thirty seconds in, the tone is set early. By the time we get to the puppet porn shoot and McCarthy snorting ecstasy with down-on their-luck puppets it’s abundantly clear this isn’t your father’s Muppet movie.

Trouble is, I’m not sure who it is for. The idea of a raunchy puppet flick isn’t new, “Meet the Feebles,” “Team America” and others have put the ‘R’ in marionette with great success but they did it with wit as well as in-your-face vulgarity.

In “The Happytime Murders,” easily the least funny comedy to hit screens this year, the laugh lines mostly get laughs because we’re not used to seeing puppets in… er… ahhh… compromising positions. Watching McCarthy and Maya Rudolph, who plays Phil’s love struck secretary Bubbles, flounder in a sea of felt and unfunny “gags,” is almost as sad as seeing the vaunted Henson name in the opening credits.

You know when someone constantly swears just for the sake of swearing? That’s shock value. “The Happytime Murders” is all shock, very little value.

PAPILLON: 2 ½ STARS

The remounted “Papillon,” starring Charlie Hunnam and Rami Malek in the roles made famous by Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffmann in the original, maintains the brutality of the 1973 film but plays more like a buddy flick than the resilience-of-the-human-spirit epic it should have been.

Based on the “75 percent true” tale of Henri Charrière, a safecracker nicknamed Papillon, the 1930’s era story sees him sent to a hellhole jungle penal colony in French Guyana for a crime he didn’t commit. Sentenced to life in prison with hard labour on Devil’s Island, he begins to plot his escape as soon as he arrives, despite the fact that no one has ever successfully fled the island.

To assist and finance his plan he offers protection to Louis Dega (Malek), a spindly, wealthy, white-collar criminal with a relative fortune hidden in a place where the sun don’t shine. Faced with abominable conditions and dictatorial prison guards the pair, along with a couple of others, stages a daring run at freedom.

Leaner and meaner than the original the reboot nonetheless hews fairly closely to the 1973 screenplay by Lorenzo Semple Jr. and Dalton Trumbo. Some grisly scenes featuring crocodiles and lepers have been blue-pencilled but the basic idea of the bond between the two men in the face of unimaginable adversity remains.

Hunnam and Malek make a good team—with Malek even giving the Degas character more inner life than Hoffmann managed—but the movie itself doesn’t contain the same sense of struggle. Certainly there is violence, Hunnam is frequently covered in blood, mud or worse, but the previous film was grittier, less refined. Dialogue was sparse—in the new one Hunnam and Malek chatter like school kids throughout—and there was a sense of hopelessness that fuelled the need for escape. Here their mission feels pat, like a typical prison drama. It’s less meaningful, simply a run from the violence and horrors of their incarceration, and not a spiritual journey.

“Papillon” gets much right and features nice performances from the leads but feels like an unnecessary revamping of the story.

LITTLE ITALY: 1 STAR

“Little Italy,” a new rom com starring Hayden Christensen and Emma Roberts, is good hearted enough but feels like it arrived via a marinara sauce splattered time capsule from 1985.

Leo Campo (Christensen) and Nikki Angioli (Roberts) were inseparable while growing up in Toronto’s Little Italy. “To us Little Italy wasn’t just a few blocks, it was our whole world.” Their families were tight, working side by side at the Napoli Pizza Parlour until the Great Pizza War erupted, causing a split that saw the pizza place sliced down the middle, cleaved into two separate businesses. Years pass. “It’s Little Italy’s oldest food fight.” Nikki moves to England to study the culinary arts while Leo stays home, working with his father.

Five years later Nikki returns home to renew her English work visa and is drawn back into the world she thought she had left behind. My Nikki is coming home today,” says mother Dora (Alyssa Milano). “Now we have to find her a husband so she’ll stay.” Will there be amore? Will the moon hit her eye like a big pizza pie or will she return to her cooking career in London?

“Little Italy” is an “I’m not yelling I’m Italian” style rom com. Desperate to establish the flavour of Little Italy it parades stereotypes across the screen speaking in loud exaggerated Italian accents. It’s annoying but it is all played for laughs, tempered with the easy sentimentality of the most rote of rom coms.

Director Donald Petrie, whose “Mystic Pizza” made a superstar out of Roberts’s Aunt Julia, never finds the balance between the slapstick, romance and cliché. Sometimes it feels like sketch comedy, other times like every rom com you’ve ever seen. Either way, it never feels original or particularly likeable. Top it off with a been-there-done-that run to the airport climax that would likely get everyone involved, if this is anything like real life, arrested and you have a movie that is all about love that is anything but loveable.

CROWN AND ANCHOR: 3 ½ STARS

“Crown and Anchor,” co-written by and starring “Arrow” actor Michael Rowe, is billing itself as a “punk rock drama.” Shot on location in St. John’s Newfoundland, the crime drama embodies punk’s DIY ethic but don’t expect thrash and trash.

To stretch the musical analogy one step further, this well measured movie has more to do with the introspective stripped-down sounds of a band like Television than the loud ‘n fast rush of The Ramones. In other words, it’s like punk with guitar solos.

Rowe plays police officer James Downey, a disciplined man who fled Newfoundland years before to get away from his abusive alcoholic father Gus (Stephen McHattie). Returning for his mother’s funeral he must confront the past he left behind. Gus is safely tucked away behind bars but cousin Danny (Matt Wells) is loose, desperate for money and wallowing in booze and drugs. He’s also involved with some very bad people. Thrown back into the kind of family drama that forced him to leave the island years before, Downey stays put confront the past and present.

Don’t expect a tourism board approved view of Newfoundland and Labrador. “Crown and Anchor” is all about the dark corners. The echoes of the grief, tragedy and violence of James and Danny’s lives reverberate throughout. Director Andrew Rowe is unflinching and uncompromising in his presentation of the underbelly of St. John’s life.

Shot in long takes, often in uninterrupted close ups, “Crown and Anchor” showcases its strong performances. The leads, along with Natalie Brown as Danny’s wife Jessica and Robert Joy, bring authenticity to roles that could have veered into caricature.

“Crown and Anchor” is a slow burn. It takes its time getting where it is going, building tension with long scenes. Rowe gives his scenes room, allowing them to marinade. It’s old school indie, but in our era of frenetic editing it feels fresh and new.

BREATH: 3 ½ STARS

“Breath,” directed by “The Mentalist” star Simon Baker in his helming debut, is a coming-of-age tale about two boys who learn about life and love through surfing is specific in its subject but universal in its themes.

Bruce and Ivan, a.k.a. Pikelet and Loonie (Samson Coulter and Ben Spence) are teenagers growing up in remote 1970s western Australian. Desperate for adventure they form an unlikely friendship with Sando (Baker), a former surfing star who now mentors young athletes. Sando is spiritual surfer who not only teaches the kids about how to glide across the water but also how to live their lives. Their idyllic life lessons are threatened when Pikelet has a brief affair with Sando’s wife, Eva (Elizabeth Debicki).

“Breath” is an enjoyably but languidly paced film that captures the slower pace of life in 1970s Australia. Baker displays a connection to the material, allowing the story to play out in its own time. The affair subplot dips into melodrama but the rest of the film is an evocative portrait of the time and place.

On a technical note, the cinematography—credited to “water cinematographer” Rick Rifici—adds much visual flair to the storytelling.

MADELINE’S MADELINE: 2 ½ STARS

“Madeline’s Madeline” begins with a nursed telling the audience, “What you are experiencing is just a metaphor.” That sets up the tone for what is to come, a boldly dissociative study of creativity and identity told through the lens of a sixteen year old girl.

The film essays the main people in Madeline’s (Helena Howard) life, with her mother Regina (Miranda July), acting teacher and maternal figure Evangeline (Molly Parker) and, finally, herself as she prepares to be part of an avant grade theatre production.

“Madeline’s Madeline” is a bold film. Madeline’s experiences, both real and imagined, merge creating a dreamy, unsettling pastiche of real life. She is a complicated character, beautifully played by newcomer Howard, with a multi-faceted personality that may be the result of mental illness or in expression of her creative spirit or her troubled relationship with Regina. Director Josephine Decker sets the stage, employing frenetic editing, overwhelming sound design and other experimental film techniques to place the viewer in Madeline’s headspace.

“Madeline’s Madeline” may prove too challenging, too psychedelic for casual viewing. Howard is a powerhouse, careening through the film untethered to the realities of narrative form but the oblique storytelling does the viewer no favours.

Source: https://www.ctvnews.ca/entertainment/movie-reviews-the-happytime-murders-least-funny-comedy-this-year-1.4065143

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