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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 10 months ago

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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 14: My Dinner With Bigfoot (SMUT)

*hola, amigos, we have a little sprinkling of smut throughout the chapter.

Oh, yeah, this is gonna be spread out since variety is the spice of life. don't do stuff in the woods though. you will get arrested in real life. HAVE FUN!

for the less corrupted amongst us, there are some slightly spicy scenes towards the middle that aren't too bad, followed by genuine smut so look out for the warnings since we'll be going in and out of mature content*

Friday night, date night. Or at least it was supposed to be.

Things had been busy lately. Since the loss of the fifth and sixth Man Cave, there had been a lot of baloney about sorting stuff out. That new Man Cave smell was nice but it was so formal and stiff, not the kind of thing you wanted for your home, so Ray and (y/n) had made good on their promise to each other.

Not the new wardrobe thing, although Ray did take his sweet girl out shopping one afternoon and returned carrying fourteen bags just to rival every other man in the mall who was following their wife or girlfriend around like a lovesick puppy.

Every surface. No joke. That's what he'd whispered in her ear, so that's what they'd done, desecrating their new bed as well as the shower, the guest shower, a few walls, the hall, the couch, the computer's chair, the kitchen and the tubes. Animals.

Things were back to normal, which meant a quiet night in was needed with the two of them and a bottle of red. No funny business, that's what Ray had said, not because he didn't love fucking her whenever and wherever but because after getting scolded by Schwoz for leaving evidence strewn across the Man Cave, he decided they needed to dial it back a bit.

And that had led to them enjoying a very fine evening in their room, nothing lewd or suggestive, just the two of them curled up on the floor with a blanket next to a TV with a looped video of a fireplace on the monitor. It was a bit corny as they sipped their wine and giggled when it went to their heads, laughing when Ray fed (y/n) a strawberry and booped her nose.

It was cute and there wasn't stuff. Ray had told Schwoz there wouldn't be and that's how it was staying. That was the plan, anyway.

"You know what this reminds me of?" the man mumbled as he watched his lover swirl the blood-red liquid in her glass before putting it down to focus on his words. He was languishing against a half-moon of pillows, arms stretched along the row and his legs spread in front of him so she could shuffle closer, curl into his side and rest her head against his chest.

"What?"

"The first time I took you out to dinner..." he said softly and tucked a loose strand of her behind her ear when it fell from her lowering her gaze shyly. It was a bit weird, he knew that this was nothing like the first time he took her out to dinner, whether it be they were "friends" or lovers.

"What? You do know that we weren't sitting on the floor or alone in your bedroom on either occasion," (y/n) giggled, sitting up so she could look at him properly and possibly sneak a sip from the wine glass he raised to his lips, even though she had her own.

God, her younger self would kill to know what her future held and would've died and gone to heaven at the idea of her best friend pulling her into his lap so their faces were at the same level, his hand on her bare thigh, fingers grazing under her dress innocently as he pecked her lips.

"I know, but it feels the same. But this time, you're not my friend or my girlfriend...you're my wife," Ray grinned and tilted his head forward to catch her lips once more in a slow, sloppy, uncoordinated dance that was enough to set a fire alight in (y/n)'s core. Her hips shifted and tilted to press against his clothed cock, which was barely hard, merely twitching with slight interest as his jeans gave her a glimpse of pleasure.

They shouldn't--couldn't, she knew that. This was meant to be relaxing, a chance for them to catch up with clothes on but she couldn't help it. Call her crazy after the Christening of The Cave as it had come to be known but she wanted him. She always had and it was that which convinced her.

Until the taste of wine became sharp and sour on her tongue and she remembered that her past self never had to contend with tipsy Ray.

"Doofus..." she giggled, pulling away from his lips, although she remained firmly on his lap, clit pulsating against the rough coolness of his zipper, "I think someone has had a little too much wine...I'm not your wife yet."

"You should be...you're so pretty and smart. My sweet girl..." he mumbled and dragged his thumb over her bottom lip as he pouted at the thought of yet more waiting. He pouted even more when she took his wine glass from his hand, the one that had been dangerously close to tipping its contents all over them as he lost himself in her honey taste, and placed it next to hers away from the blanket.

No spillages, thank you. Instead, the chilled Pinot was left to go lukewarm as her hands returned to his shoulders to keep him pushed against their pillow next and his eyebrows twitched at the sudden change in the atmosphere.

He could feel it; the way she looked at him, the way her thighs trembled when his grip slid to her waist and how her weight seemed to shift to press against him at the right angle and make him stiffen.

"I know what we can do in the meantime," (y/n) smirked and slotted her mouth against his, expecting him to play right into her hands and remap his territory with his typical vigour. Ray loved pinning her down, ravishing her, taking what he wanted, especially when he was given such a tempting invite, so it was a surprise when he pulled away.

"No, sweet girl, what did we say?" the man growled and held her away from him by wrapping a gentle hand around her throat. He didn't squeeze, it just rested there as a reminder that despite his reluctance to spread her out and have his fill, he was very much in charge. However, it didn't stop her from whining and rocking her cunt against him once as a protest.

"But--"

"No buts. I promised Schwoz that we just having a quiet dinner in a room, nothing that will cause him any grief," she huffed at the name of the genius, who right now was the enemy since it was his complaint that meant his free hand was clutching her pelvic bone to keep her still.

So what if he found her bralette on top of the microwave? It was nothing he hadn't seen before but apparently, finding the matching panties hanging from a monitor in the main room was the final straw. Whoops.

"So? We'll just have to be extra careful next time we fuck in front of the TV," the heroine giggled, drawing another growl from his lips as he casually pressed butterfly kisses to her jaw. There wasn't gonna be the next time, not if he could help it, no matter how irresistible the offer was, but he figured a peck or two couldn't hurt.

"Needy little girl..."

"And besides. What we do in our room isn't up to Schwoz. If he finds something in here, then it's his fault, not mine when I want you to fuck me in our bed, in our bedroom, with the door shut," she whispered hotly into his ear, biting the lobe as she made her point and began grinding her clothed pussy into his lap, where he was getting undeniably hard from her begging.

Her dress was flimsy, thin and the sort of garment he didn't like to see her walk outside in just because she looked as if she could freeze to death at any moment, in any weather. But she didn't intend to walk away, not when she had him to keep her warm and the delightful friction between her legs, which had perfect access in the dress he hated to love.

But even he couldn't resist bunching her dress around her thighs and pushing it up to her belly button, revealing the lacy panties she'd put on underneath. Fuck him, they were soaked, sliding over his painfully hard cock that throbbed at the sight of her rutting against him--a show only for him.

He wasn't going back on his word, he was just looking with hooded eyes. Nothing wrong with that.

"But I'm not gonna fuck you, darlin'. Not here, not tonight. Not after someone else got to see your panties and I had to collect them," the hero told her firmly, swallowing the lump in his throat when she wailed and sagged against him. The look in her eyes suggested mutiny as if he'd betrayed her in the worst way as her hips kept moving--almost madly now that he'd said that.

He'd be a liar if he said the thought of pushing into her wet little hole didn't make him want to cream his pants, he could tell from the mess she was making that she was desperate despite them being very...active over the past few days. But that was the problem, she wasn't there when a mortified Schwoz handed over a pile of freshly laundered underwear whilst wearing rubber gloves with him as the equally mortified recipient.

"Wha---Ray, that's not fair! I need it--want your cock so bad! Can't you see how wet I am?" she whined, pulling at his shirt like a petulant child who couldn't get her way. Her fingers snaked to cup her mound, where she gathered an embarrassing amount of slick that had seeped through the lace on two fingers. Even through his jeans, she could make out the head of his cock straining against the denim and her mouth dropped open when it poked and teased her entrance.

"Which is why you're going to get yourself off like this. Rubbing your pretty clit and begging me for more, so come on. Make yourself cum," Ray challenged, giving her a hard stare, which she shrank under. He wasn't gonna--huh?

She could do as he asked, with him talking so filthily in her ear, it was easy but what she desired was so close. It didn't make sense that he'd sit there and torture himself like that when it would be so easy to unzip his pants and free his cock, let her bounce on it a little until they were both falling apart. And yet here he was, gazing down at her so cockily as his hands started to pull her hips back and forth.

"But I want to ride and cum on your cock, like I did on the couch--wanna feel you so deep inside--" she muttered squeakily as her hand went inside her panties and began circling her clit in a figure of eight. He seemed pleased with how she carried out his barked orders and fondled her tit through her dress as she did until her stupid mouth got her into trouble for being bratty.

"What did I say, little one? You'll take whatever I do or don't give you and endure. I want you to cum like this," he replied harshly and the hand that had been pinching at her nipples left them alone to smack her ass harshly, causing her cunt to brush against his cock deliciously. A hiss left his lips and as much as he wanted to take care of her, was suddenly, selfishly starting to wish that he could fill her up.

This was yet another part of his game and she loved playing it no matter how frustrated she became when the stimulation on her throbbing bud wasn't enough. Poor thing, she had it too easy, thinking she would get fucked every time her pussy started aching, but he had to teach her that bad girls don't get what they want.

"Please..." she pleaded, nuzzling her head under his jaw and kissing his pulse point in a bid to get as close to him as possible. Maybe if she reminded him that she was his good girl, his sweet girl, his cute, innocent future wife, he'd give in.

"No..." he growled, refusing to touch her any more than he already was; hands on her ass, tits and waist, lips nibbling at her neck, no more. It added to her frustration when he let groaned lowly in the back of his throat, no doubt kicking his orgasm away as she teetered on the edge of hers.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't--please!" (y/n) begged. No matter how hard she tried, how quickly she rubbed, how deeply she ground, her release was always out of reach, running away as soon as she chased it and only he had what she needed to grasp it.

Again, he denied her, helping her movements against him as if that was any help. The only real thing he did was seize the top of her panties between his two fingers and thumb before ripping the elastic. The lace was shredded, useless and able to peel away easily from her figure after that, meaning her cunt was bare and free to ruin his pants as she wished, even if the increased friction was laughable.

"Fuck, you're soaked, sweetheart. This all for me? This the hole you want fucked?" he asked mockingly as his fingers finally stroked through her velvety slick, causing her mouth to fall open and her pussy to move against them greedily. A fingertip breached her hole and she screamed, hands balling his shirt as one digit slid into her and then another straight away.

Her head nodded weakly as she sobbed at finally having something to clench around but it was nowhere near enough. Not when she was used to stretching around his girth as he pounded the life out of her.

"More--please--need your--cock--"

"How many times, filthy girl? I'm not fucking you right now, you can cum on my hand," Ray tried to remain firm, scissoring his fingers to try and make them feel bigger. Honestly, he didn't care about Schwoz, it was his Man Cave, he'd fuck his fiancée wherever he liked but it provided a good excuse to tease her and drag their date out a little more.

He loved her like this and had planned to woo her, bed her, make love to her during the evening, forgetting his promise to Schwoz. Although, he didn't expect to be quite like this.

"But--but you could fuck me, fuck my pussy...anywhere," his fingers stilled inside her and his eyes met hers with a steely gaze, causing her to carry on with needy confidence, "you said you would and you still haven't. Captain, why haven't you fucked my ass yet?"

The effect was instantaneous and better than she could have ever imagined. Ray's hand was ripped from her cunt and she whined at that, only to whimper when he roared and pushed her to the blanket roughly. Within seconds, he was swiftly crawling up her body whilst simultaneously fumbling to free his weeping member, which was straining after that suggestion.

That had been pushed to the back of their minds, on the table but ignored for now since they'd never had enough time to do it safely and properly but that didn't mean he wasn't desperate to try it. He still wanted to see her every hole claimed, sated and owned by him, so her teasing rose the beast within him that wanted her on all fours for him to see.

"You're so bad--bad fucking girl. My girl," he grumbled in her ear as she braced herself on her hands and knees, skirt flicked over her ass, and looked back to see his perfect, glorious cock pulled from his zipper. He was leaking, an angry-red colour and bobbing deliciously as he hissed from the cool air; it was clear that he couldn't be bothered to properly take off their clothing, not after she'd said that.

"I'm gonna fuck this pussy so hard and then, if you're lucky, I might start practising stretching this hole out, ready for my--" Ray rambled, letting himself get lost in the fantasy as his head pressed against her entrance and gently began to break her open. The burn was heavenly and (y/n) groaned throatily at the relief it provided, thinking they were the only people in the world at that moment.

That is until she looked up and saw through blurry eyes how the door handle was turning.

With a squeal, she instinctively crawled forward and away from Ray, snatching a blanket from the pile next to their nibbled-at dinner and draped it across her lap quicker than her lover could blink or keep hold of her.

"What the fuc--" he snarled, outraged and confused that she'd moved away at such a crucial moment when he was half-cocked and dying to slip inside her walls. Seeing nothing but red, he thought that she was playing some devilish game and so, he went to grab her, intent on spanking her ass until it was red and sore and in need of her superpower to make it better. But then he saw it too.

The doorknob had made a half-rotation and he only had a fraction of a second to yank a cushion from next to her head and press it into his crotch when the door was pushed open by the one person Ray did not want to see at that moment.

They'd fallen against the pillows, panting, sweaty and trying to appear as if they'd merely been sipping wine and not on the verge of fucking, when Jasper entered the room, staring at his phone and unaware as to what he'd walked in on.

Of course, it was him.

"J-Jasper, what are you doing in our bedroom?" (y/n) asked breathlessly, trying to fan her warm cheeks in a subtle way that wasn't subtle at all. Anyone with half a brain could realise what had been going on just by how warm and close the air was, how warm and close they were, if they only took a minute to observe.

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" Ray asked darkly, glaring at the boy as he felt his cock soften and the mood vanish. He was still desperate, raring to go and would give anything to slide into his sweet girl had he not rudely interrupted.

"Oh, uh, yeah...you said that you were gonna join me and Henry tonight, remember?" the boy said, looking up from his phone to see nothing out of the ordinary.

It was damn lucky that Jasper only had a quarter of a brain, otherwise, they'd have a lot of explaining to do with very red faces. But he was oblivious to their sticky foreheads and stiff shoulders, plus the way Ray refused to move the cushion from his pants as he thought about the boy's words.

"Oh...yeah. That," he mumbled, sending an apologetic glace to his puzzled lover, who hadn't heard of this arrangement before. What a fool Ray was; he'd agreed to the boys' night with the teens since they rarely had any guy time. So, tonight they were gonna be reckless, dumb and crazy, keeping their youth alive. And it seemed that he'd double-booked the date too. Oh, hell.

"What? Look, Jasper, I'm sorry but Ray's gonna have to miss whatever you've planned 'cause we've still got half a bottle to finish as well as something else, so--" she laughed nervously, feeling highly uncomfortable that her dearest Curly was in the room when she was aching on the inside.

She didn't care about whatever they'd planned, she thought Ray would choose her over a stupid night playing video games and eating candy. How wrong she was.

"So, just gimme a minute. I'll be right there," Ray told Jasper, gulping to keep his voice steady as (y/n) looked at him with shocked, wide eyes and an open mouth. The boy grinned and walked off, calling to Henry down the hall to get the popsicles from the freezer, leaving the woman to gawk in silence as they breathed again.

"Wh--what? You can't leave me here!" she gasped as she relaxed into the blanket and expected Ray to do the same, but no. When he said he'd be right there, he meant it and was already tucking himself away and doing up his zipper as she laid there, still wet and needy.

He looked sorry, apologetic and remorseful but even so, that didn't stop him from standing up to grab a moist napkin from their dinner table to dab away any embarrassing stains and freshen himself up.

"Precious girl, this is my fault. We arranged this night ages ago and I can't let Henry down...or the other one," Ray told her gently as he finished scrubbing himself and threw the napkin onto the tray again. She scoffed as he looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his tousled locks, smiling softly as she scowled and stamped her foot against the carpet. It was childish but she was distraught.

"But you can't leave me here without fucking me first..." the heroine muttered and grabbed the leftover wine to take a large swig--much-needed fortification to quench the blaze inside of her. The burn in her throat was unpleasant and made her eyes water but she hid the discomfort well, welcoming it to mask her frustration. How could he walk away? Was he not burning up as she was?

"I promise I'll fuck you later, yeah? Later, I swear," he insisted, deeming his appearance suitable enough to show a couple of teenagers and stepping away from the mirror. His smile met her glare and he leaned down to kiss her goodbye, probably the last one of the night since they were set to pull an all-nighter. However, (y/n) couldn't help but linger and try to swipe his tongue into his mouth--a play to entice him back that ultimately failed.

"Later. I'm holding you to that," she said to him firmly as he pulled away before his semi could return at full force. He couldn't deny that he still wanted her and was equally frustrated but he had to hide it well for the kids. They didn't need to see that.

"Later," he repeated and with one final peck on her forehead, he swept out of the room, leaving her a trembling mess in their rudimentary picnic spot. She'd finish herself off to the roaring of the fake fire but it wasn't enough. It could never be and she couldn't help but wonder.

Was Jasper an idiot or was he just being purposefully annoying?

*SAFETY AT LAST. Not my best but we've more yet to come, so stay tuned my fellow sinners--Onwards with the episode!*

~Many long hours later~

Annoying. Very annoying. They all were so damn annoying. One, two and three.

(y/n) had slept alone that night, had gone to bed in a frightful mood and all because of their stupid, ridiculous, testosterone-fuelled party. And it was a party—a big one.

At one point, she'd woken up at three-thirty to go pee when she heard their rowdy voices in the main room, shouting something about Henry finishing an entire can of soda in eight seconds. Full sugar, no doubt, that's what they ran off for the past god knows how long. The binge hadn't stopped when the sun rose, not when their sugar highs nosedived and not when Charlotte came to work at nine to see a very grumpy woman sitting in the chaos as she'd tried to eat breakfast.

For the life of her, Charlotte couldn't work out why the heroine was so grumpy and tetchy, it wasn't like her at all but in the end, she'd put her snide remarks and long sighs down to her being tired and moody from Ray's antics.

Hell, she'd only been there five minutes and she was tired from their conga line, so to escape from the tornado of pizza and smelly armpits, the girls had legged it to the safety of a cafe for the morning, hoping that by the time they'd finished gossiping and sipping cappuccinos, they'd be sleeping it off on the floor or couch. That was so naive of them.

It's how they'd ended up where they were now; one of the boys, assisting in something bovine and moronic frolic that required more players than they had. What the hell even was a haircut chain?

"How's it lookin', Henry?" Jasper asked his friend as the boy stood behind him. This was their big idea; they each stand behind one another with lasers--very dangerous, highly unpredictable lasers--so that they could give each other haircuts. Yeah, Charlotte and (y/n) didn't understand either.

"Lookin' gooood!" Henry replied with a smirk as he lightly trimmed Jasper's hair so it was a gradual fade and not a severe cut. The lasers were at their weakest setting, which meant they were being irresponsibly complacent since they merely saw it as a free haircut, nothing more. "How's it lookin', Ray?"

"Lookin' ooooookay!" the man said happily as he zapped at the stray hairs on his sidekick with an experienced hand. Behind him, his sweet girl and Charlotte were doing the same to him, although the woman needed to stand on a ladder held steady by the girl to match his tall stature. She was still thrumming on the inside, she could feel it when she walked and could see it in his gaze when they'd come home but still, the wait went on.

"How's it lookin', sweet girl? Charlotte?"

"We do not know what we're doing, doofus," she replied dryly, squinting to ensure that she was cutting in a straight line. She'd never cut her hair let alone someone else's and as it happened, she was quite fond of Ray's floppy floof. She didn't want to see it ruined so she was trying her best to not mess it up, but it was hard when she and Charlotte kept swapping to take turns on the ladder.

"What?!" Ray suddenly exclaimed and raised a hand to shield his brown locks as they ceased lasering. His hair was practically sacred, one of Captain Man's best features, to cut it without some skill was sacrilege. "Why would you mess with the Man Mane if you don't know what you're doing?"

"You told us it didn't matter!" Charlotte argued, wondering why he was being so crabby too. She didn't know if the happy couple were in the middle of a domestic or what but fifteen hours of sugar and soda had not helped the man, who was getting to be strangely antsy.

"When did I say that?" Ray asked in an innocent tone, although he remembered the precise moment quite well.

"Ten minutes ago, you doofus? Remember? When we walked out of the elevator and found you guys dancing around chanting, haircut chain, haircut chain, haircut chain!" the heroine refrained from punching his shoulder, knowing that if she did, the contact might make her spontaneously combust. The coffee was still fresh on her tongue as well as the fluttering from the butterflies after seeing him again...

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" Ray, Henry and Jasper chanted as they paraded around the Man Cave, waiting for the return of the girls.

They could hear the elevator coming down and were eagerly anticipating getting them to join, so it was quite the surprise for the two friends to step into the main room and see them so excited. As painful as it was to see them still so energetic, it warmed (y/n)'s heart to see her doofus again after four hours and three iced hazelnut lattes later; maybe it was her, but his gaze seemed ravenous for a split second before his cheerful grin resumed.

"Hey! We're gonna cut each other's hair!" Henry exclaimed, not caring if they were still holding their final takeout cups of Jet Brew. He was on his fifteenth popsicle, caring wasn't an option anymore.

"With lasers!" Jasper shrieked and (y/n) shared a look with Charlotte when his breath practically tore their faces off, Maybe leaving them unsupervised was a bad idea, but damn, they'd needed that coffee to pull through whatever this was.

"You in?!" Henry offered with a determined glint in his eyes that they didn't share.

"I do not know how to give a haircut with a laser."

"Yeah, me neither," they told him, wanting to make sure that they were aware that if they went near their beloved styles, there could be irreversible consequences. But as always, Ray wasn't a responsible adult and when his lover turned to look at him with fleeting eyes, he ignored any warning since it put a dampener on his spirits.

"Doesn't matter!" Well, he was the one who said it. That counted as permission in their eyes, the terms and conditions that hadn't been read but regardless, they'd accepted them.

"Then, okay..."

"I still say this is a bad idea," (y/n) muttered and took a long sip from her latte, letting its familiar milkiness take her back to her younger days. She knew that the haircuts were gonna be a disaster just from the way the chanting started up again, although this time, lasers were fired at the ceiling.

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" the boys shouted, firing laser after laser at the rock face above their heads. Ray only stopped to kiss his sweet girl after hours of not seeing her properly but when she went to cup his face and linger, he pulled away to start dancing with his fellow gibbons.

You'd think he'd be a little more clingy considering that he hadn't crawled into bed with her that night and had been sorely missed by his sweet girl but that would come later, once the sugar tap had been turned off. The (y/n) withdrawal symptoms would come back with full force and so would his bone-crushing hugs and need to kiss her frequently - amongst other things.

"That didn't happen," Henry shook his head and peeled his eyes away from where he was lasering to look back at the girls. He was tired, sluggish and fuzzy so they didn't believe him, even if it was three against two.

"Yes, it did!"

"Who are you going to believe, Charlotte? Your own flawed memory or three guys who've been up all night playing video games and eating popsicles?" Ray asked and pursed his lips as he recalled the long night he'd just experienced.

Truth be told, he was getting a little too old for that kind of thing and looking at the pile of popsicle sticks on the table, he knew he'd have acid reflux at some point--it was just one of those things. Getting a good night's sleep after finishing his still unfinished business with his sweet girl sounded much better, but he was way too proud to admit that.

"Yeah, that's not a tough choice, you morons," (y/n) said with a scoff, although her point was marred slightly when she leaned forward on the ladder to press a kiss to the nape of Ray's neck. She enjoyed watching him shiver and hoped that he was reminded about what his fun night had cost, something that highly amused Charlotte as she stopped the ladder from tipping.

"Yeah, exactly. Popsicle boys!" the kid squeaked immaturely and in a move that somewhat disturbed the insulted girls, wiggled his fingers against Ray's as they made a stupid sound. The hero might've been shaking from the inrush of cold air after his lover had her lips on him but he didn't miss a beat, unlike Henry, who missed an awful lot since his focus was elsewhere.

"You might wanna look where you're lasering," Charlotte advised. She wasn't the one on a platform like (y/n) but even from her position, she had an excellent view of Henry's lack of movement, meaning she could see how he'd been going over the same spot on Jasper's head for the past three minutes. It kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for.

"You better look where (y/n)'s lasering!--ah!" he retorted cockily, thinking that she was simply buying into the playful banter until his gaze wandered back to his work to see that what was once a masterpiece was now ruined.

From his ear downwards, Jasper's hair was gone; it kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for, meaning a horrified, squeaky gasp fell from Henry's lips.

"What was that?" Jasper asked nervously as he felt the gentle heat on his head stop and a draft brush against his skin. It didn't feel like any other haircut he'd had given how cold everything felt and it was like he could sense their stares burning into the back of his head as if something had gone wrong.

"Uh...nothing," Henry stammered, wondering how he was gonna fix the mistake if there was no hair left to work with when Schwoz came through the secret door, minding his own business and carrying a picnic basket.

"No, no, no, you tiny screamed," Jasper tried to bring his focus back, knowing that his friend only screeched like that when something was wrong.

"Uh, dude, it was nothing--Hey, Schwoz! Random question...do you have anything that regrows hair?"

"What?!" The boy's hand flew to the back of his head as he heard the not-so-subtle question and even he understood that Henry was trying to say that he'd screwed up the haircut chain. The genius was so conveniently in the room now and so, Henry thought that he'd have a solution since that was his expertise and helpfully, he did.

"Don't worry, I got something," Schwoz reassured them, seeing the utter panic on Jasper's face and the guilt on Henry's, so he pulled a tube from his pocket and tossed it to the shaved kid, "this hair-growing cream works great. I've been using it on the sides and back of my head for years."

"Any instructions for this stuff?" Jasper questioned as he looked at the tube dubiously. It didn't have any legible writing on it and Schwoz was already off out somewhere, so it didn't give him the best feeling, even if Schwoz's hair (or what was left of it) was thick and luscious.

"Oh, yeah. Lots of 'em! But I don't have time to tell you right now because I'm late for my dinner with Bigfoot," Schwoz replied and lifted the basket over his head so he could disappear up the tube and not have to worry about Jasper and his lack of hair problem. But he couldn't leave, not after dropping a bomb like that--something about Bigfoot?

"Whaaaaat?"

"Hang on..."

"Wait, stop, stop, stop!" the remaining five rambled, focusing on the genius who rolled his eyes at their confused expressions and raised the tube again. He was getting very late and didn't have time for any questions, even if they now had a million of them.

"What?"

"Bigfoot?!" Ray repeated as he held out a hand for (y/n) to steady herself coming off the ladder. Back on solid ground, she held onto his doofus' hand as they huddled together to grill Schwoz on how he could be friends with a mythical, rampaging thing in the woods and not tell them. They must've heard him wrong, there was no way that it was the Bigfoot.

"Like, Bigfoot Bigfoot?"

"Yah." Or not. Schwoz wasn't laughing or holding in giggles, he was being deadly serious about meeting up with the hulking creature, something that they just couldn't believe since it was so outlandish.

"The Bigfoot?" Jasper questioned, leaving his smooth nape alone for a minute since this had piqued his interest. Bigfoot...and people thought he was strange.

"Like, the made-up creature who lives in the woods?" (y/n) asked, wanting to clarify that they were definitely talking about the thing that supposedly scared campers and hikers. She often prided herself on being quite open-minded, she was an engineer after all, but like the others, she was thinking one thing; Schwoz had either been sniffing glue or watching too much of the conspiracy channel again.

"He's not made up, he dated my sister," the small replied, which both shocked them and made a lot of sense at the same time. They could get over that Bigfoot existed, but Winnie getting a date? Jeez, the poor guy probably had to give her bags of carrots instead of bunches of flowers.

"Your sister dated Bigfoot?!"

"Yeah, it didn't work out between them, he wanted kids, she didn't but I always thought he was a chill hang," Schwoz shrugged, remembering all of the drama that always ensued when a couple broke up and the drama that ensued afterwards when he and Biggie remained friends. He was glad that his favourite couple would never go through that, it's why he liked living with them despite the ickiness and incidents--no chance of it ending, not ever.

"Can we go with you?" Henry requested eagerly. It's not that he was nosy, rather, he wanted to see if Schwoz was lying or not. Anyone would jump at a chance of seeing Bigfoot in the flesh and the others had the same mindset.

"Oh, yeah!"

"Yes, yes, please?!"

"Come on!" they clapped their hands excitedly and looked at him expectantly, which put Schwoz in an awkward position. It's not like he had anything to hide but he thought it would be awkward having all of his friends clashing, after all, there were gonna be a lot of personalities clashing.

"I don't like to mix my work friends with my wood friends--" he tried to let them down gently, ignoring their pleading eyes and hopeful grins because he felt guilty enough. It was impossible though, he truly was outnumbered.

"Oh, come on, Schwoz! Just let us come!"

"Yeah, we can all be friends together!" Charlotte and (y/n) begged together, using their best, fluttering eyelashes and doe-like eyes to win him over--and it worked. They ground Schwoz down all too easily because he wouldn't want to make them cry, now would he? That would just be cruel.

"Fine, let's go to dinner with Bigfoot--" the handyman conceded with a sigh to the roaring cheers of his friends, who applauded, cheered and fist-pumped their success in an almost hedonistic way that undermined Schwoz's kindness. He wanted them on their best behaviour, not screaming or shouting or being weird, Bigfoot was a very sophisticated guy. "--but don't embarrass me!"

They calmed down at that and although still buzzing with excitement, the group moved to enter the elevator, Ray happily tugging (y/n) along with a spring in his step. He refused to let go of her hand because it was the only thing keeping him cool at that moment, what with the adrenaline still streaming through his blood and the prospect of meeting a literal legend wasn't helping, neither was the sudden, unexpected alarm.

"Emergency alert!" Charlotte exclaimed as everyone looked back at the computer and saw the familiar red flash of the beacon. Right, they were technically supposed to be working right now and an impromptu trip to the woods, something that would take a couple of hours just to get there, wasn't gonna stop them from continuously coming in.

Captain Man couldn't take time off and neither could his sidekicks and Ray was aware of that, highly so; it was just a shame that he didn't care. Shielding his eyes from the others in a not-so-noticeable way, he pulled his laser controller from his pocket and fired a single shot at the beacon, burning a hole straight through the plastic, thus ending the call, at least so that they didn't have to hear or worry about it.

"Raymond!" (y/n) whined and gave him a stern look for what he'd just done. She didn't feel right leaving whichever poor soul to suffer simply because they were curious and leaving something a mess made her stressed all the more. It made her itch in a way, knowing that it would be lying and waiting to be fixed until they came back so she was ready to scold him and Ray was braced for that. Until--

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Henry began chanting, his booming volume swallowing whatever noise came from (y/n)'s mouth. He'd known the couple long enough to sense when they were about to argue, whether it be petty or explosive, and he did his best to stop it, which worked rather well well when Jasper and Charlotte joined as Ray fleetingly kissed his sweet girl quiet and chanted too.

"Dinner with Bigfoot!"

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Strange. They thought he would've kissed her for longer. What was with those too?

~Two hours later, in the woods~

A van journey later and the group were still chanting as they approached a clearing in the woods, one where Schwoz had said was his and Bigfoot's supposed meeting place.

Despite the long, bumpy journey, one that was still palpably tense thanks to Ray, (y/n) and whatever was going on between them, the anticipation for meeting the mythical creature was still high and the teens had been poking Schwoz since the second stop light for more information. What did he eat? Normal food. Where was he from? Swellview, duh. What was his favourite colour? What kind of question was that?

It went on and on but thankfully, it meant not much attention was paid to the front of the van, where the couple had been strangely silent, uneasy and not at all handsy--the most worrying thing. Ray didn't put his hand on (y/n)'s thigh like she was hoping, the thing he always did when he drove since the pillowy flesh was just asking for his fingertips to feel it, but that night, he was worried that the call was asking for something else and he didn't want to listen to it. Not yet, anyway.

"Dinner with Bigfoot!"

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" The teens chanted relentlessly as they followed Schwoz through the thick foliage, walking for a few minutes to disappear into the night that had fallen during their drive over. Bigfoot was a secretive guy and preferred to not be seen by others, which was understandable, so they carried on in single-file, Schwoz first, the kids in the middle and Ray and (y/n) walking hand-in-hand to bring up the rear.

They were trailing slightly, keeping up but going at their own pace as Ray's stride was much longer than (y/n)'s and he wanted her comfort more than anything, so it was her setting the speed. It was fine, Schwoz had everything under control at the front and they were nearly there, or so he said, so the only problem Ray was experiencing was the one in front of him. The perfect view of his sweet girl's ass as she walked--all he could do was stay back and try not to stare, which was easier said than done.

"Sweet girl?" He grumbled, surprising himself with how animalistic he sounded, akin to something they might find in those very woods, so it was no wonder that (y/n) whipped around immediately, slowing down to a mere ambling pace as she faced her dark-eyed doofus to see what was wrong.

"Yeah?" she asked, her saccharine voice full of innocence that made Ray's abs tense. He didn't know what he was gonna say at first, he just wanted to call her name but seeing her looking at him like a lamb in front of a wolf made his next actions undeniable. He let go of her hand to grasp her wrist instead and it was damn lucky that the gasp she released when he roughly pressed her against the nearest tree wasn't heard by the others.

Henry, Charlotte and Jasper carried on merrily, not noticing that there were two missing members in their party as Ray pinned his precious girl against the scraping bark and kept her hands clasped together and above her head.

In the moonlight, she looked so ravishing as his eyes raked down her quivering body and he could see the questioning look in her eye, a part of her wondering why he was picking his moment now. However, he could also see how she wasn't all that innocent either, pupils dilating the minute one hand went from her waist to brush between her thighs, touching nothing but the soft skin there.

There she was, his girl, his darling lover, his future wife, waiting for his next move, panting lightly in the darkness as they were left behind and he knew that he'd been a fool to leave her for a few popsicles and to play Mario Kart, he'd been a fool for thinking he could last a whole day without her.

"Doofus, what--"

"The second we are alone again, little girl..." he whispered in her ear, one hand cradling her jaw as the other stayed with hers against the tree. It was his promise to her and it could be left unspoken, she didn't need an explanation. They were pushing their luck as it was, staying behind as the others marched on and as tempting as it was to throw caution to the wind and feel those thighs around his waist because lord knows that he did not give a fuck, she did.

Jasper's earlier faux pas was but a forewarning in her mind and it would not happen again, not two nights in a row, so as quick as her back had met with the harsh bark, he pulled away, taking one hand with him.

The dazzling rush of it all had her stumbling to catch up with his long legs as he marched towards the clearing, following the voices before they were missed or he changed his mind and she had no choice but to jog behind her doofus. Her hot, moody, incredibly well-endowed doofus.

Avoiding a tree root and a mysterious puddle of green mush, the couple made it to the back of the group again, not that anyone had noticed their slight delay. The only noticeable thing was how their breathing had quickened from the rush, although in (y/n)'s case it was something else. Paired with her red cheeks, it was kinda obvious, but the shadows hid it well and so did hiding behind Ray's shoulder.

"Hey! That hair-growing cream worked great."

"Yeah, it looks gooooood, dude," Henry complimented Jasper when Charlotte noticed that unlike two hours previously, Jasper's hair was completely back to normal. You'd never guess that he'd had the majority of it lasered off and he was quite happy with the results of Schwoz's cream, save for one little thing.

"Oh, nice...this worries me a little," he smiled but it was nervous and they knew why when he raised his hands to show them that not only did the cream work on scalps, it also worked on fingers and palms. Baby hairs had begun to sprout from his flesh and he was getting quite furry, which was disturbing. Really disturbing.

"You have to wear a glove when you apply it. That's part of the instructions!" Schwoz exclaimed as the others grimaced, (y/n) burying her nose into the jacket she'd stolen from Ray.

Being the silly-billy she was, she'd only realised how cold it was out until they were well past the city's border and in the sticks, so her ever-adoring fiancé had swooped in and bundled her up in one of his huge jackets that had been slung on the backseat of the Man Van. It was huge, enough to keep her warm even in a dress and it was only made better by his cologne following her around.

"You didn't tell me any instructions," Jasper argued as he coped with his hairy hands. He'd just assumed that the cream worked on heads, not skin in general, which was kinda bad since he'd been touching his head, face, ears and other places since using it.

"Okay, step one--don't itch your ears!" Schwoz said when he saw the boy rubbing and searching his earholes. That would only mean more cream transfer, even if it was a little late to be giving out advice.

"Soooo...Schwoz, where's Bigfoot?" Henry asked as Jasper stomped off to try and deal with his new hair problem. This was the meeting place but no one could see any imaginary animals or beings, meaning the kid was starting to doubt if this guy was real or not and whether Schwoz had pulled the best prank of all time.

"Yeah, man. We've been walking around for four whole minutes. I'm starting to think you don't really know Bigfoot," Ray added, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his sweet girl huddled to his side to try and keep the cold away. He wasn't the world's most patient man but four minutes traipsing around some bushes at night wasn't his idea of fun and he was waiting on a promise for what was.

"Relax, let me just call him--" Schwoz told him gently and the man went back to trying to keep (y/n) warm. He knew that dress was both angelic and evil, but at least he could put his arm around her, which was good for when Schwoz ignored his phoned and abruptly summoned his friend. "BIGFOOOOOOOOT!!!"

"He's on his way," he told them, not thinking a thing of his sudden, echoing voice in the dead of night nor how he just spooked the heebie-jeebies out of them. Biggie wasn't much of a phone guy anyway.

"If you were just gonna scream his name, then why'd you pull out your phone?" (y/n) asked as she snuggled into the cosy fuzziness of Ray's jacket. She'd seen the genius take his phone from his pocket when she was ogling her lover, which is why his bellowing had been so unexpected.

"So I could get a picture of you guys when Bigfoot shows up," Schwoz replied in a tender voice but he had that mischievous glint in his eye like he had something up his sleeve. His phone was pointing at them and open on the camera app, so he was ready to capture their shocked, terrified expressions whenever he needed a good laugh, not that they knew that.

"You mean if he shows up," Henry scoffed sceptically, shoulder-to-shoulder with his friends as they waited, "we've been here for five whole minutes now. I'm starting to think you don't actually know hi--"

Henry never got to finish his mini-rant. As he rambled on at the smirking genius, a big, hairy lump dropped from the overhanging willows to land in front of them, bellowing a ferocious roar. The sight of this snarling furball caused the teens and couple to shriek in terror, a moment that Schwoz swiftly captured on his phone as (y/n) practically leapt on Ray, who had his jacket clutched by Henry, flanked by Jasper cowering behind Charlotte.

But the howl eventually petered out and the beast put its arms down in a friendly slouch, meaning the group eventually stopped screaming too. Bigfoot just stood there and he wasn't quite what they were expecting as hands let go of jackets and men put down their sweet girls; he was tall and hairy with thick, sharp nails, that was a given, but apart from that, he was normal.

Well, nearly normal--he was placid with an easy-going stance, nothing like the monster some people often described him as.

"You guys, Bigfoot is real!" Henry exclaimed as they all stood there, in awe of the living legend in front of them, who wasn't a mutant or animal like on the TV, he was just a normal guy with a lot of hair.

"Real handsome!" Bigfoot quipped, putting them all at ease with his small joke. If he was comfortable with himself then they had no reason to fear him, especially when he laughed in that resonating baritone of his. "It's nice to meet you..."

"So...uh, this is Hen--" Schwoz started to introduce everyone, not wanting things to be awkward since he didn't have many friends and he didn't want to lose any, but Bigfoot beat him to the chase.

"Oh, I know this guy. Henry Hart AKA Kid Danger? Feels gooooood!" The hairy man chuckled, much to Henry's excitement.

"Bigfoot knows my thing!" The ecstatic kid hissed to the others. He thought it was wild that Bigfoot of all people knew who he was and had intimate knowledge of his personality, even his secret identity. He didn't seem to be the kinda guy to leak stuff like that, after all, Schwoz was smart enough to not be all pally with grasses, so no one worried.

"'Course I do. Scheoz talks about you guys all the time," he revealed, making the small man blush since no one knew about his pride from working the Man Cave.

"What?" Jasper tilted his head, stunned that Schwoz could be so sneaky and that Bigfoot knew about their crazy gang.

"Yeah. You must be Charlotte," Bigfoot nodded, turning to the girl whose cheeks heated up when he started being all charming, "Schwoz tells me you're even smarter than he is."

"Whaaaaaat?... It's true, though," she grinned, blushing from the sentiment of Schwoz hyping her up to his other friends but it was the truth. The Man Cave would be lost without her skill with the computer and general sensibility, so it was nice to know that it was noted and appreciated.

"Oh--Jasper!"

"Yeah!" The boy nodded with a smile as Bigfoot moved on, looking at him next and punching out at him lightly in playful banter. Honestly, this guy was so cool and Jasper liked that he had also been included when he did the least out of the three teens.

"J-Dowg!"

"B-Foot!" They bantered and bumped fists as Schwoz kept snapping pictures, wanting to remember every moment of his friends becoming friends. Maybe they'd be able to hang out together as a gang and he'd be surrounded by everyone he loved--maybe a tad premature but a nice thought as they all got along so well.

"How's that girl with all the allergies?" Bigfoot asked, referring to Patina, the one Jasper took to Cactus Con and accidentally plunged into an anaphylactic fit.

Ouch, a touchy subject in more ways than one so no one ever mentioned what had happened with her, not that Jasper ever let it bother him.

"Oh yeah, she ghosted me! I keep texting her but she never responds!" He shrugged, tugging at (y/n)'s heartstrings as he smiled with the others but she remembered those weeks all too well. Jasper sat on the couch, texting and texting, waiting for an answer that never came until he had no choice but to move on with a sad acknowledgement for a romance that had gone so far only to be left to die. She never liked that girl.

Speaking of moving on...

"Oh, and well, I know who this beauty is! (y/n), the sweetest girl in the world as Schwoz put it! Lovely to meet you, I know all about your engineering and how you keep the place running--oh, and of course, Miss Danger! How could I forget?" (y/n) was practically a tomato as Bigfoot moved on and grinned at her next.

He extended his hand and she thought he was going for a handshake when he warmly pulled her in for a hug, a very soft hug as his woolly body helped her forget about the cold as he gushed about her many talents and the way the Man Cave would crash and burn without her expertise. Pulling away, her face was beaming as they crowded around Schwoz with the other three to look at the pictures and that only left Ray on the outside.

The man loudly cleared his throat as they cooed over the funny and heartwarming photos, looking up to see him still standing there. Right, the main man as it were, the boss, the head honcho, they couldn't forget him, after all, he'd never let them.

"And, uh, last but certainly not least..." Ray grinned, awkwardly turning to Bigfoot who removed his arm from his darling girl's shoulders and looked at him--with a blank stare like what you'd give if you were giving a stranger. Oh, lord.

"Hey..." Biggie greeted slowly, which didn't fill the hero with confidence but still, he smiled back, encouraged by (y/n), who was edged closer to them as much as she could without passing the furball, "there he is..."

"There I am!"

"This guy!" They interacted with a definite tension that made the teens frown because it was so weird that Bigfoot had been so welcoming and friendly with them, knowing specific details about their lives and personalities, only for him to have no idea who Ray was.

"You must be, uh... Henry's dad?" The hairy man suggested, trying to find a possible identity for the mystery man that his friend had never described, but it only served to insult Ray. That was nowhere near accurate and kinda insulting since he thought he looked too young to be any teenager's dad. Come on, he wasn't even married yet.

"Henry's dad? Are you--are you kidding me?"

"Are you...uh, Jasper's dad?" he moved on, a hint of desperation as (y/n) facepalmed in the background, itching to get to her doofus' side before his emotions started leaking but she knew how it would look if she was constantly clinging to his side. So, no matter how badly this was going, she stood still and hoped that Ray didn't do anything stupid after being called the weird kid's father.

"Uh, I'm-I'm Ray AKA Captain Man AKA (y/n)'s fiancée!" the hero said, hoping that a few of his basic titles would spark some recognition in the legend's mind.

Bigfoot looked genuinely surprised to hear about another superhero living with Schwoz since he didn't have a TV and never ventured into the city; he had to learn stuff by ear and when he looked back at the mention of the sweet girl, he saw her raise her left hand and point to the ring that sparkled in the starlight. Well, that confirmed it, weird how he never knew.

"Oh, Schwoz never mentioned you! Are you new to the Schwoz Cave?" He asked politely, seeing nothing wrong with his question, so he didn't understand why the man's face erupted into anger as the woman and kids released shocked giggles behind him. Oh, that little fibre, what had he been saying?

"The Schwoz Cave?!" Ray snapped and his furious gaze landed on Schwoz, who smirked bashfully and adverted everyone's gaze. He was ashamed but also unapologetic because he loved the idea of being a superhero and messing with Ray's head, even if it was a tangled web of lies that he was now stuck in.

"Listen, listen--" Bigfoot put a furry hand on Ray's chest to keep him from tackling Schwoz and instead, diverted their attention before things got out of hand, "I found this great campsite just past the creek. Let's all go down there and have dinner to get to know each other better.

"Yeah."

"All right, let's go," the teens nodded enthusiastically at the sound of food and a pretty area to sit, so they quickly followed after their host, who knew the way like the back of his paw--hand. Schwoz was right behind them, giggling mischievously to himself as he passed Ray, who stood like a statue with a stony expression engraved on his face. He was visibly livid from being unmentioned and the shoulder pats that the kids gave him only soured the mood.

"That's a tough one, daddy," Henry commented jokingly as he walked past, not knowing that it was possibly the worst thing he could've said to the man, who'd been waiting all day and all night for that kind of talk. He was damn near breaking point and (y/n) knew that as she was the last to move.

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go eat," she whispered, stepping in front of him and smiling in the face of his grim expression. She gently reached for his hand, which unclenched when her fingers slid over his to let her in and without hesitation, Ray allowed her to grasp it. Sighing when she stroked his cheek, he allowed her to tug him towards the campsite, his heart unwilling to watch her walk away despite how sluggish his plodding feet were.

They might have liked Bigfoot but he wasn't so keen and neither was he impressed with that good-for-nothing, low-down, double-crossing sneak, Schwoz. He'd be having words with him but for now, he was willing to indulge in one thing - his sweet girl. If the hairball didn't know who he was now, he surely would by the end of the night if it was the last thing he did.

Her fiancé, her lover, her doofus. Always.

Up ahead, they could hear a slight commotion since they were going quite slowly, anything so Ray could sulk in peace a little longer and cheer himself up with a little butt-staring. No doubt the amazing Bigfoot was doing something amazing with his amazing dinner because he was amazing.

"Let's eat!"

Yeah, right, he could've done that but to avoid a scene, Ray stayed silent and kicked at the dirt as they came to another, smaller clearing, complete with rocks and stumps for rudimentary stools, a pre-lit campfire and some coolers left by the campers he scared away, one of whom Henry could swear looked like Mitch Bilsky but as he looked at the cosy spot, he couldn't find it in himself to care.

Soon, they were huddled around the fire, Charlotte sat with Bigfoot on a fallen tree trunk, Henry with Schwoz, Jasper on his own, and then, Ray on a rock with (y/n) perched happily on his knee. Their new friend had raised his eyebrows at that, thinking they were very open about being so touchy and...kissy but the others assured him that it was normal and separating them would only lead to trouble now that the man was calmly nuzzling into her neck and hair.

So, soon, the snacks were handed out and the stories started. Bigfoot lead them since he was the fascinating one and even Ray was able to tame his jealousy and listen as he nibbled a hotdog, offering it to his lover occasionally, another thing that they assured the legend was normal for them.

"Sometimes, I just want to sneak into town to get that good salsa but people would see me and they'd either want a selfie or they'd try and kill me," Bigfoot sighed as everyone listened intently to how hard it was being so famous yet hated. Sure, he was legendary but most would kill to be the ones to capture Bigfoot or put the real-life Bigfoot in a zoo, and that was just horrible considering that he was such a sweet man.

"And I hear that!" Ray piped up as (y/n) bit into their hotdog and he tightened the arm around her waist. He wasn't hated but he knew the price of popularity and it was nice to see him finally making friends, even if it was slightly self-centred, "I can't go anywhere without getting mobbed."

"Appreciate your sympathy, Ron," the behemoth gave him a polite smile and he was gracious enough to not mention the way they were snuggling like they were the only ones in the forest. All Bigfoot concentrated on was his story and the way Charlotte was braiding his fur, which was a shame because his blatant forgetting of Ray's name touched a sore spot for the egocentric man.

"Ray. It's...it's Ray," he corrected with a smile that was akin to a snarl If it wasn't for his sweet girl playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, he would've pounced and taken the hairy buffoon on himself. Was he that forgettable or had Scwhoz properly swindled him for once?

"Oh, I'm so sorry--Captain Ray!" Bigfoot was trying his best; this guy was quite techy about his image and he didn't fancy fighting with Schwoz's other friends, not when they could so easily blow his clandestine existence. However, even his best wasn't enough and Ray gritted his teeth at yet another mistake.

"No, it's Captain Man. My name is Ray," the hero laughed awkwardly and mockingly, earning himself a few hard stares as he took everything too personally, "and I just think it's hilarious that this guy has no idea who I am!"

Everything got out of hand quite quickly and (y/n) whined indignantly when her doofus stood up abruptly, tipping her off his lap so she had to scramble to stay on her feet as he started throwing a rather embarrassing tantrum. Honestly, it was like caring for a six-year-old.

"Doofus! Ray--Raymond! Oh god, I am so sorry about him..." she had to say, giving Biggie an apologetic look and nervous smile as her lover began kicking at the dirt, complaining about anything and everything. She was used to his emotional outbursts but that didn't make them any less humiliating when their new friend looked so perplexed and almost sympathetic to her situation. God, the shame--he was thirty-seven for god's sake.

"And there's no dijon mustard for this hotdog!'

"Hey! Just chill, okay? Just relax!--" Schwoz and the teens were staring at the earth as (y/n) flattened her palm against Ray's chest and began pushing him away after he threw the half-eaten Weiner and bun to the ground. Sure, it had been a little bland and boring but it was nice for a minimalistic picnic and they'd share anything honestly, mustard or no mustard.

"Said it was a great campsite, doesn't seem so great to me! His words, not mine!" Ray growled above her incessant pleas to calm down and she started using her body to push him back quicker when he pointed straight at Bigfoot--a highly rude gesture. Such a child...

"Calm down! Just calm the hell down!"

"Ray? Ray?!" Charlotte shouted as she came over to see if she could get through to him too since the awkwardness was killing her. She joined (y/n) in begging for him to button it and folded her arms as he spat her calming words back in her face; seriously, if (y/n) was struggling to calm him down, her, his beloved fiancée, what hope did she have?

"I'm the problem, sweet girl? I'm embarrassing?! I'm embarrassing?!"

"Yes, yes, you are! You're embarrassing when you act like a child, Raymond, getting angry when things don't go your way and it's deeply humiliating!" the woman scolded, staring him down--or as down as she could get since she was so much shorter than him--as a teacher would to a rebellious student. He seemed to sober up at that, recoiling when she gave him the reality check that he was upsetting her, the kids, and everyone and that wasn't fair.

"I'm embarrassing?" he asked again and she cleared her throat when his eyes softened from the hardened glare they'd held seconds before. He never wanted to humiliate her, god knows that he only ever wanted to be proud of having him by her side and it was only because of stupid Bigfoot that he'd lost his cool. Or...maybe it was him, maybe he needed to think things through.

"Yes, Ray, so you know what? You need to calm down, so we're going to go into the forest and we're gonna take a lap," (y/n) told him firmly and took up his hand so she could march him out of the clearing before there was a punch up. Did other girls have to do this with their fiancés?

"I don't wanna take a lap!" he replied petulantly and tried to pull his hand away from his sweet girl in defiance. In his normal state of mind, he'd never do that but children often cut their noses off to spite their faces when being told off--he was no different when he was like this.

"You need to take a lap, Ray," Henry piped up this time, having stood up to come and join Charlotte in assisting the woman, even if their opinions meant very little. Still, he figured that if his boss heard it from enough people, he'd eventually stomp off with (y/n) in tow and she'd ensure that he was fully calm before coming back to their rustic yet sophisticated hangout.

"I don't need a lap! It's not my lap time!" Ray snapped at the kid, thinking he was getting them all to back off when really, he was making it worse. Did he not realise how childish he sounded? All the man wanted to do was enjoy a quiet evening with his girl and feel her squirm against him when he breathed hot air down her neck, but no. That walking carpet was ruining everything.

"If you want to act like a child, then I will treat you like one, Raymond. Come with me!" (y/n) tried to shove him again but his bulk wouldn't budge, not until someone else joined the cacophony.

"Uh, I wouldn't take a lap. It's pretty dangerous out there!" The same walking carpet said, again trying to be helpful but again failing miserably. Whilst he knew the woods like the back of his hairy hand, they didn't and he'd hated to see them step in something dangerous but to Ray, that sounded like a challenge. If Bigfoot could do it, he could do it better.

"Oh, okay! We're taking a lap!" the hero scoffed, suddenly changing his tune, much to the group's frustration. Without another word, Ray seized (y/n)'s hand and dragged her off in the direction that they'd come, grumbling as he went. She was tripping over her feet at his insane pace and all she could manage was a quick wave to the others before they'd rounded the corner and disappeared into the shrubbery.

*WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO. SMUT IMPENDING AGAIN. I PROMISE IT FINISHES AFTER THIS THOUGH. LET'S GOOOOOOO!*

"Ray! Ray! Slow down! I said a lap, not a sprint!" she gasped as he retraced their faint steps that had been trodden into the dirt, looking for one spot in particular since it would be far enough from the camp but not too dangerous for them to be caught unawares. He tried to ease up when she stumbled on a jagged rock emerging from the soil but he didn't stop, merely squeezed her hand even more to keep her following.

"Raymond! Will you just--what is with you tonight?" the heroine asked again, slightly breathless from how much ground they'd covered in such a short space of time. Trees had passed and bushes and a sign saying hunters would be prosecuted--and a sign after that said prosecutors would be hunted if they didn't keep their noses out. It felt like they'd trekked the entirety of the woods when he finally stopped, abruptly and without warning, and with no inclination that he was going to answer her question.

Like lightning, Ray pushed her against the tree for the second time that night and their surroundings once again became familiar to (y/n) as she felt the same scraping against the soft skin of her back. He'd taken her up the path to the old clearing, the one where the moon lit the path to keep the monsters away--and hopefully any snoopers too.

She'd been hunted again, only this time, Ray intended to go through with the kill.

"I'll tell you what's with me, sweet thing," he growled and instantly had his face buried into her neck so he could nip a line down her jugular, tearing gasps and weak moans from the back of her throat, "I've done nothing but think about your pussy since last night and I need it, darlin'. Need you so bad."

Truth be told, a smile tugged at her lips when his typical, domineering snarl turned into a whining beg. He was pawing at whatever he could get his hands on; her soft neck, tits through her dress, hands brushing back the jacket to hold her waist before slipping down to knead at her ass. Most would say that he was pathetic, desperately trying to tempt her into joining him in the open, in a public place, where anyone could stumble across something.

"Whose fault is that then?" (y/n) teased, jaw dropping open when his teeth bit down on her collarbone, causing her to yank hard on his hair when her hands snaked to run her fingers through it. His lips were so distracting but through the lips of them and his wandering touch lighting fire on her skin, she could feel him against her hip, hard and throbbing, begging to be released after losing out so critically before.

Now, it was her chance to wind him up tight like a spring and watch him squirm because that's what she'd had to do the night he left her for popsicles and buffoonery. He could've had her, could've pushed right in, god knows she'd let him, she was soaking through her panties just at the memory and yet, he'd left himself to suffer.

Pushing the skirt of her dress up, Ray immediately grasped at her thighs and tried to widen them, hoping to get a glimpse of the delight that was waiting for him, even if he knew he didn't deserve it, not when he'd played such a cruel game. The desperation was clawing at his insides, cock begging him to fuck her soon before he exploded and so, as much as his instincts told him to have his sweet girl spread out like a feast for him and chastise her for teasing her Captain, he swallowed his pride.

"Please--please--please," he whispered over and over against her neck as he rutted his hips into her. With any luck, she'd feel what she was doing to him, how crazy the thought of her had made him over the last god knows how many hours, how he couldn't wait to fuck her tight cunt any longer.

The drive over had been hell; anytime he looked over, she was there looking like an angel and he could swear that she'd been widening her legs just to tease him when he rested his hand on her thigh. Little minx... But what could he do? He did his best to find her sweet spots, licking and sucking at the spot below her ear and trailing his fingers closer to her core until she was trembling between him and the tree, that's when she spoke.

"What do you want, doofus?" she murmured, tilting her head back so he'd have more access. Moving down from her ear, he headed for the top of her tits, nipping as he went before he grabbed at them roughly. God, he wished they were back home or that he'd done this sooner, then he could take one into his mouth, he knew how perfect those nipples were for biting and sucking, but out here, he wasn't willing to expose more than he had to.

What did he want? A few things. He wanted her naked, on their bed in the warmth so he could get on his knees and pray for forgiveness before worshipping her like he should've done before. He wanted to hear her every sound above the rustle of the leaves. He wanted to peel her panties down her legs and fuck her hard and strong so he didn't rip someone's head off. He wanted her, he wanted her so much.

"You, sweet girl. I want you so bad--since last night," he panted, grinning against her skin when he found her clit through the soaked material under her dress and rubbed his thumb against it in tight circles. She lurched forward with a cry, bucking her hips towards him as best she could with only the tree for leverage and it reminded her that he wasn't the only one who'd been simmering since last night.

The drive over had been hell; anytime she looked over, he was there, looking like a god as one hand guided the wheel and the other stayed with her like always. She could swear that he'd crept his hand closer to her core with every passing streetlight, just to drive her insane.

"Then fuck me, you idiot," she smirked and palmed at him through his jeans, feeling how huge he was even through the denim and no sooner than the words left her mouth, they pulled apart to weakly shove any clothing out of the way.

Her thumbs hooked the elastic of her underwear and she pulled them down her legs as their eyes stayed locked, his darkening when she slipped them past her ankles and awkwardly over her shoes. It was never like this in the movies, they made it seem so smooth but she got there eventually and pressed them into his hand, earning herself a groan when he felt the damp cotton.

Tucking them into his back pocket, Ray lifted his sweater slightly, revealing a peek of his Adonis belt as she knelt to pop the button on his jeans and slowly bring down the zipper. He watched with hooded eyes as she gingerly reached into his briefs and pulled him free, licking her lips at the prize that lay in front of her.

She leaned forward, ignoring how the bitter air was making her core clench when it met her bare pussy and how stones were digging into her knees as she braced against the ground but it was worth it. Dipping her tongue out, she kitten-licked at his tip before allowing the flared head to break her lips open, taking him in one, two, three times with slow bobs of her head that had him throwing his back to howl at the sky.

It was indulgent, he knew that; her pace was tortuous and he longed to hold her face still and fuck her pretty throat but relented when she looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes that were spoiled only by his cock inflating her cheeks.

"You always look so hot with my cock in your mouth, sweet girl," he groaned and placed a hand on the back of her head to guide her movements. (y/n) moaned at the salty taste of him, loving how pliant he was in her hands, so much power and strength being controlled by her movements--it was intoxicating but not what she sorely wanted.

With one final swipe of her tongue around his length, she pulled back, leaving them connected with nothing more than a string of saliva as she gazed up at him with cherry-red, sickened lips and doe-like eyes before asking, "will you fuck me now, sir?"

"Fuck, baby--" Ray groaned at her naive tone, admiring how small her hand looked when giving his cock a few tugs. Leaving her hair, his hand slipped under her arm and he pulled her to her feet, growling when she giggled at his eagerness. Her amusement didn't last long; pushing her against the tree once more, Ray gripped the backs of her thighs and snarled "jump" against her throat, picking her up effortlessly when she lamely tried to follow his orders.

He secured her legs around her waist and used the tree as leverage, thankful that in their horniness, he'd picked one that had grown at a slight angle so things were easier. His raw strength made her tremble as she clung to his shoulders, where his muscles felt softer through the fuzzy fabric of her sweater but she knew the power that was hidden beneath and could feel it from how he lifted her so easily.

Rutting his hips forward, they moaned in tandem as his cock slotted against her slit and steadily rocked through her slick, brushing against her clit with every move. Her mouth was pressed against his ear so he could hear every noise she made and his grip turned to steel when he caught on her entrance, prodding so he could feel her clench but not going any further.

"Can I fuck you, sweet girl? Can I fuck you here where anyone can see what's mine?" Ray asked into her hair, sliding his head through her lips to rile his lover up even more. His abs tensed at the thought of someone stumbling across them, a lone hiker or maybe even Bigfoot himself as he came to investigate their disappearance.

He'd never let them see anything, her pleasure-screwed face and soaked pussy were for his eyes only but a small, sadistic part of him hoped that their new "friend" caught a glimpse of him with his pants shoved down and his sweet girl wrapped in his embrace as he pumped into her.

That would stick in his head--maybe he'd remember who he was then. The man who was entirely devoted to the sweetest girl on Earth. The man who knew that sweetness better that anyone else.

"Shit--yes, please. Fuck me, I don't care if someone sees--" (y/n) pleaded, going half-insane from the contrast of the jagged bark on her back and the soft swipes of his cock. Ray didn't need telling twice and as her cries painted a smirk on his face, he pushed forward, staring between her legs as he began to disappear inch by inch. The woman threw her head back, not caring when it thunked against the tree, all that mattered was her fucking hot fiancé and his cock that stretched her walls for miles and miles.

He had the perfect view; her dress was bunched up around her waist and with the moon and stars to guide him, he could see how drenched she was in the dim light and how her pussy sucked him, welcoming him home. She was certain that some of her wetness had been there since the previous night, had not ceased gathering even when he left her alone with a glass of wine to nurse and nothing more and it only made it easier for him to bury himself to the hilt.

For a moment, he gave her a chance to adjust to his sheer size or maybe it was his way of masking how he was the one who needed a minute. Her walls were so damn tight around him and velvety soft, making searing white heat crawl up his spine until he got a grip on himself and started to rock into her.

"So dirty but you like it, don't you? You like having your little pussy filled in the middle of the woods," Ray said cockily, punching out each word in synch with a thrust of his hips, drawing moan after whimper from her mouth--and he sure as hell felt the way she tightened at the reminder of their surroundings. "Oh, you do, don't you? Like knowing that anyone could see you like this for me--see how you scream my name when I--"

"Fuck, Ray!" she cried when he snapped his hips into her at a different angle and hit a spot that made her see stars. Smirking when he saw the way it made jelly of her muscles, he began pummeling that spot, hearing nothing but the blood rushing through his ears and the slapslapslap of his balls against her thighs. Her squeaks and begging were music to his ears and he got lost in his sweet girl, nothing else existed apart from her, him and her tight heat as it ruined his cock.

"N-not gonna last long, darlin, not after last night--" he stuttered, feeling how tight his balls were and how they were begging to pump her full of cum before he exploded. He'd denied himself earlier and it had left him half-crazed, his body drying out for its soulmate so they could be one at last and he was finally succumbing to the call, succumbing to the sweet pull of her pussy and how it was waiting for him.

(y/n) whined something incoherent, too lost in the pleasure rippling through her body from the epicentre in her core. Steadily, she lowered one hand from his shoulders and dropped it to her clit to begin rubbing it in rough circles, her fingers slipping across soaked flesh. It was the push she needed to hurtle her towards the edge and she felt the familiar burn beginning to set in, one that began to blaze when Ray's lips brushed against hers and he captured her gaze.

"That's it, pretty girl. Rub this pussy for me, get it all nice and ready for my cum. Can you do that for me?" he asked in a teasing, condescending tone that had her nodding obediently. His thrusts increased as she doubled down on her clit, giving it light slaps like she knew he would if they were in a more comfortable setting.

Ray's eyes followed her movements and a gasp got stuck in his throat when he saw how the diamonds in the ring he gave her sparkled with every circle. Fuck, if that didn't make him go faster then nothing would and it wasn't long before he felt the fire return to lick up his spine. Her cunt, her moans, her tight grip on his hair, the sight of his fiancée fucking himself whilst he fucked her was enough to drag him to the edge and her with him when his thrusts faltered.

"Come with me, doofus. Fill me up before we go back," (y/n) whispered before biting his earlobe to smother her loudest moan of the night when he came with a groan, triggering her own end. Ropes of pearly cum flooded her heat as he pressed her against the tree and her orgasm stretched thin when the scraping pain mixed with the bliss. Ray whined and buried his face into her neck, staying as close to her as possible as he filled her up with his most intimate claim.

The heroine sighed at the serenity and rested her forehead against his shoulder as their breathing slowed down. He stayed inside of her for a while, unwilling to remove himself from her warmth when the air around them was so chill and he was more interested in kissing up her neck and running his thumbs across her ass as held her aloft still.

But, eventually, the chilliness of the air caught up with them and upon feeling his sweet girl shudder and snuggle into him more, Ray realised that her jacket had slipped down her arms when he was pounding into her. Not to mention the fact that she was still wearing that sorry excuse for a dress with her legs facing the elements.

So, he planted one final kiss on her pulse point and peeled her from the tree, hearing her whimper slightly as her scratched skin smoothed over and his cock jostled against her walls. He pulled out slowly, groaning when he felt his release begin to leak now that she wasn't plugged up.

"I've got you, sweetheart," the hero told her gently, setting her back down on shaky legs and ensuring that she didn't tumble to the forest floor. "You okay?"

"More than okay, doof. You feelin' better?" (y/n) asked with a breathy laugh. Her tummy fluttered when she felt his cum begin to ooze out of her and whilst she hated to lose it, knowing that it was there was near perfection.

"Much better but there is one thing that I need to do."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" she asked perplexed, wondering what could be so important as he tucked himself away and tugged up his zipper with a shiver. It all became clear when he smirked her way and felt into his back pocket and brought out her panties, the ones he'd tucked away for safekeeping before having his way with her.

"Would you mind, sweet girl?" He held them open and with a giggle, (y/n) stepped into them as clumsily as she had taken them off, struggling to get her sneakers through the holes until he shimmied them up her legs. Carefully, Ray pulled them over her ass so none of his precious spend could be lost and he playfully squeezed her cheek before fixing her dress to check that she didn't walk anywhere with her butt showing.

"Does this mean I have to walk around with your cum in my underwear?" she questioned, leaning up to caress his lips with hers in a slow dance.

"Of course," Ray grinned, thoroughly in love with the idea that they had a dirty secret between them that no one would ever know but them. Perhaps he was being childish again but the thought of having one up of Bigfoot, having her as his lover since, in his eyes, any man would kill to be with her, made him gloat and preen. Speaking of the hairball...

"We should probably get back..." (y/n) mentioned and pulled his jacket across her body tighter to try and conserve some warmth. The campfire was sounding pretty nice round about now and even better if her doofus would be there to calmly snuggle with her, besides, the others were probably beginning to wonder how long one lap could take.

"You go on ahead, precious girl. I just wanna take a look at something before I go back, I won't be minute," the hero told her gently and gestured to some bushes in the direction they'd come from.

"Okay, doofus. Don't stay out here too long. I'd hate for something to happen to you," she smiled and pecked his cheek, giving one final warning for him not to be a hero when he wasn't in uniform. Ray chuckled at that and gave her ass a small smack as she walked away, laughing when she sent him a bright-eyed glare over her shoulder.

God, he hated watching her walk away but at least he could admire her with a longing gaze. Now, about that shiny thing he'd spotted...where was it?

*AND BREAK SCENE. THE SPICY MEATBALL IS OVER MY GUYS. THANK YOU FOR COMING, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELVES, THIS IS SADLY ALL WE HAVE SPACE FOR SO, MIS INOCENTES, WELCOME BACK*

Even in the darkness, on her own and slightly intimidated by the possible Oogie-boogies lurking in the bushes, (y/n) steadily made it back to the camp. A slight left turn, straight on, past the bush that looked like Shirley Bassey and then a right to the small circle of rocks and stumps that seated her friends.

Just act normal, tell a small white lie and don't blush--whatever you do, don't blush!

"Hey, guys!" she smiled at them as she skipped back to her and Ray's rock and plonked down on it. In her mind, nothing was out of the ordinary and she'd already thought of her story, the one she'd slightly altered to a more suitable narrative. All they needed to do was buy it.

"Hey!"

"What took you so long?"

"Where's Ray?" The teens asked as Schwoz and Bigfoot mumbled and smiled their greetings. The woman laughed nervously at the influx of questions, some of which were easier to answer than others. At least they looked happy and ignorant, that at least meant their "lap" had been far enough away for any noises to dissipate.

"Oh, you know what Ray's like, such a drama queen. He needed a bit more time to cool off so I left him to wander for a bit while I get the feeling back in my fingers," she explained quickly and thank god, it checked out. Whether it be from her steady tone or her pleasant face, the teens nodded knowingly since that did sound like their boss and (y/n) had looked cold all night in that frock of hers.

"I just hope he's okay out there. It's pretty spooky."

"And dangerous!" Bigfoot added, watching the nice lady as she warmed her hands with the fire, flexing her fingers so that the heat seeped into them. Huh, it hadn't seemed that dangerous to her, scary once you were off the beaten track since you couldn't see the hidden roots and rocks as you were walking but apart from that, the woods weren't that bad.

"Why'd you say it was so dangerous out here?" Jasper asked, flexing his fingers too, although it wasn't from a lack of warmth, more like the hair of his palms growing disturbingly long to the point where his skin felt like it was right next to the glowing embers.

"There's this hunter--S. Thompson. He's been setting traps for me all over the woods," Biggie replied and no one liked the sound of that. Not only did the idea of their new friend being caged like an animal make them feel awful, but they also didn't feel safe anymore knowing that there were claws and contraptions hidden under leaves and branches.

And of course, their favourite idiot was out and about in it, hunting down the treasures he'd seen out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey!" Ray suddenly shouted and poked his head above the flora to show that his hunt had led him back to their vicinity...and the allure of his sweet girl too. "I found some pork chops just lying here on the ground!"

"No, no, don't--" The gentle giant tried to warn him off touching the pork chops but it was too late.

"G'ahhhhh, it was a trap!" Ray yelped in agony as a metal claw tanged and ensnared his arm with diabolic teeth. Luckily, he was the indestructible Captain Man, so there was no medical emergency, just the wailing of a lost lonely creature who should've followed its mate instead of sticking its nose where it didn't belong. "Monkey fungus, this hurts!"

"Oh my god..."

"You all right, dude? (y/n)'s worried!" Henry called to him and held a calming hand out to (y/n) to tell her that Ray was a big boy, she didn't need to run off to mollycoddle him. She was protective, he knew that, but technically this was on the idiot who just saw something he liked and grabbed it--come on, the world was not going to respond in the same way she did when he grabbed her ass.

"I'm o-kay!" Ray announced, easing his girl's worries with one bellow of his signature phrase. The pain wasn't so bad once his skin adjusted to the pressure and hell, it was worth it for a free pork chop that had been sitting on a dirty rock for who knows how long.

"Hey, is that a bottle of root beer? I'm gonna grab it," he suddenly gasped and no sooner than he did, he was off wandering in another direction, causing his friends to cringe. Something to was the crusty pork down, nice root beer that could've contained any other substance. Delicious.

"What? No, don't grab it! That's probably another trap, you doofus!" (y/n) shrieked over her shoulder but again, Ray didn't listen until he'd stuck his hand in yet another booby trap. The second the bottle left the pressure plate, it snapped shut on his other wrist with a force that would've broken the tendons there had it been anyone else.

"Cobra-Kai, that was equally painful! G'ahhhh..."

"That's the man you want to marry?" Charlotte asked (y/n) dryly, giving her one of her dubious looks as if to tell her that she was dumb for falling for such a moron. They were polar opposites, he could do very little right and she could do very little wrong; even if they had taught her what true love looked like, it was hard to see what the woman fell for since she wasn't the type to go solely off looks.

"Yeah...he has his good moments," she replied quietly and scuffed her sneaker against the dirt. She could name a million things that made her fall in love with Ray, starting with how kind he could, how gentle he was, and how he secretly cared more than anyone, to his floppy hair, baby blue eyes and goofy grin. Amongst other things.

"Oh my god, (y/n/n), what happened to your knees?" Jasper unexpectedly exclaimed, having watched the way she scratched her shoe into the ground and caught sight of the fading bruises.

They were barely visible, almost fully healed so really, she just had some very, very minor bruises that would disappear within the next five minutes. However, if Jasper knew her superpower, and he did, he'd say that for them to be like that, she must've scuffed them up pretty badly. What had happened?

"Oh, uh...um..." the woman stuttered and prayed that the heat from her cheeks couldn't be felt by the kids over the fire. She had to think of something quickly, something that couldn't be added to the pile of reasons why she adored her doofus because it would scar all of them for life.

"Oh, uh...on the way back, I tripped on a tree root and cut them! Nothing super-regeneration can't fix, though..." was her pathetic excuse, which thankfully, went over Henry and Jasper's heads as though the scenario was plausible. They nodded and smiled sympathetically, telling her to watch where she was going in future, powers or no powers, but Charlotte didn't look so convinced. Yeah, sure, she tripped all right. Straight onto Ray's--

"People have been hunting you for years. What's so special about this guy?" Schwoz asked, turning to Bigfoot who was strangely tense after Jasper mentioned (y/n)'s banged-up legs. They were grown-ups, not idiots and the hairy man cleared his throat before continuing, sparing his and the woman's blushes with some tactful conversation.

"He's really good. He knows exactly what I like; pork chops, root beer..."

"Season two of Will & Grace on Blu-Ray!" Ray shouted once more, having spotted the small plastic box on the floor but not the trap that was undoubtedly hidden beneath the shower of dried leaves and twigs.

"That's a good season!"

"That's a great season! Maybe I can pick it up with my foot..." the hero replied, having spent many a binge session with his sweet girl to watch the famous sitcom. It was a freebie, he had to get it but this time, he was going to outsmart the trap since his hands were full, sort of.

"Ray, stop!" Schwoz yelled, hoping to get him to come back but the man was a child--he looked with his hands, not his eyes.

"AHHHHHH! Sweet Megan Mullally, when will I learn my lesson?" he whimpered as his leg was captured too, the metal threatening to impale his skin, even though it was holding out. That was a good question, when would he? Probably never, which was why it was always best to send his handler rather than let him work it out for himself.

"Someone should go get him," Charlotte suggested, eyeing Henry and (y/n) since they were the ones her boss liked best. His sidekicks could handle him, no sweat.

"On it."

"Honestly, it's like looking after a goddamn toddler," the young woman sighed as she followed Henry speedily. Hopefully, they'd get to Ray before he did something idiotic enough to land himself in serious trouble and it was annoying that she had to move again when the fire had just begun to keep her toasty.

"Anyway..." Bigfoot said sadly, standing to his enormous height and going over to get a tangerine from Schwoz's basket as he watched the boy and girl jog away around the corner, "it's only a matter of time before that hunter, S. Thompson, catches me."

"Y'know, Biggie, my friends are superheroes. Maybe they can help get this guy off your back," the genius suggested. He hated to see one of his oldest and dearest friends so gloomy and if he could, he'd do anything to help. And one of the biggest ways he could do that was getting Ray, Henry and (y/n) to flex their super muscles, intimidate this asshat a little bit to leave the woods and its residents alone.

"Hey, Henry! Grab that top hat that's randomly lying on the ground!"

"No, dude. It's a trap!"

"But look how fancy it is!"

"Raymond! You already look like a fire-damaged Lady Gaga impersonator, don't you dare set off another one of these things!" Well, they were super most of the time. Schwoz and Charlotte shook their heads as they overheard the interaction of the sidekicks trying to get the hero to follow them, only for him to reiterate how dumb he was.

"I know, I'll just kick it out of the trap really fast before it closes!"

"No, you doof, that's not gonna work!--" (y/n) begged her lover and tried to grab onto his bicep and tug him away without aggravating the claw on his arm, but once Ray had an idea in his head, he didn't snap out of it. Not even when she whined at the sight of him getting lynched.

"Yeooooowwwwwww! Mamma mia, that's a spicy bear trap!" He yowled as his other got caught, meaning he was now snatched and snipped in all four corners; the pain was near unbearable but he had his prizes, including a dashing top hat that he hoped would make his despairing sweet girl fall for him.

"See what I mean? There are traps everywhere," Bigfoot sighed and Schwoz understood his predicament. From how easy it was to fool Ray, there was a different trap every few feet, so there was no wonder that he was on edge--one wrong move could spell disaster.

"Hey!" Ray yelled as he approached the clearing again, finally having been shoved that way after Henry wrestled him away from something else interesting - another spoil of bear trap war. "Did you guys know there's a bunch of traps and a really sweet top hat in the woods?"

"Yeah, did you also know there's a massive doofus who keeps falling for them too?" (y/n) hissed as she moodily walked behind him, watching how her lover limped from the pain and weight of the metal that clung to his body. He did look cute in the top hat, though, like a huge dork that her heart couldn't help but sing for no matter how much he irritated her with his antics.

The doofus wasn't the only creature falling that night. The sweet girls were at it too.

~A while later~

After peeling Ray from the traps, a task that had required all of them working together and a monumental amount of effort, the plan to save Bigfoot was well underway.

The heroes were in their uniform, ready to pounce should this S. Thompson guy show up prematurely but apart from the electric anticipation in the air, things were smooth.

Using one of his many contacts, Ray had brought in a large, steel booby trap, one that wasn't like one of those piddling little claw things that had got him. No, this was the real deal, something he'd used to trick criminals hundreds of times before.

It was a box, spread out flat across the woodland floor and when lifted by several ropes, it trapped whoever was dumb enough to be standing on it like an animal. It was genius, apart from the fact that they had yet to camouflage it.

"Thanks," Jasper nodded at Henry, who had taken the time to laser off the hair on the boy's hands since they had a lick of free time now that most of the work was done.

"Yeah, you got it," the sidekick smiled, glad to help out his buddy. Well, he'd mainly done it to stop his complaints, not to mention the fact that the sight of the ever-growing hairs was starting to freak him out.

"It was really hard to go to the bathroom with all of that hand hair."

"I don't wanna hear about it," Henry said quickly, recoiling at the image of Jasper doing stuff and then, stuff getting on things and...ew. He did not want to hear about that, too much information but it didn't deter Jasper, not at all.

Sensing his friend's discomfort, he merely smiled and warmly patted his arm before walking off, mentioning something about enlightening poor Charlotte with his toilet troubles instead. She and (y/n) had been sent off on a very important mission whilst the guys did all of the heavy liftings with the trap; they were told to collect twigs and moss and leaves--that sort of thing--any material that would cover the metal sheets and blend it into the ground.

"Hey, we got the pine needles you wanted to cover the trap!" Charlotte announced, shuffling back into the clearing with a fluffy mound of brown foliage. Twigs, moss and leaves weren't that easy to carry, but millions of pine needles could easily be scooped up, even if they didn't make them feel itchy and scratchy.

Walking to the centre of the flat box, the girls dumped their loads, watching as it fluttered to the ground and covered about one per cent of the metal, which didn't help them. The needles clumped together, so all it was were two brown lumps on the ground, not the thick camo they were after.

"Oh my god, where'd the trap go?" Henry asked sarcastically, looking at the two who didn't respond well to his dry quip. He'd expected them to either bring more or at least try and spread it out, give them a bit more coverage, but frankly, it was a pathetic effort on their part.

"Seriously, sweet girl? That's all the pine needles you could get?" Ray turned to his fiancée, whose eyes narrowed at the prospect of him pointing the blame but he didn't sound mean or angry, just soft and questioning. Right, the others could be told off but never her--she was the one he was enchanted by.

"Well, doofus, we could've gotten more if maybe someone would've helped us. I don't know, maybe someone with floofy hair and thirty-two-inch biceps?" (y/n) replied frankly, her hands on her hips since she wasn't a miracle worker.

If she was an octopus, she would've been able to carry eight times that amount, or if she was a magician, she could float them over, but she wasn't. She was just a superheroine who'd tripped a million times in her cute boots that were sadly not designed for rocky terrain and had a lover who'd been too busy strutting about like an egotistical peacock to help her and Charlotte.

"Don't worry, darlin'. I got you," he smirked and for a moment, she genuinely thought that she'd gotten through to him with her flirting and stroking of his ego but then, he had to go and ruin it, "Jasper! Schwoz! Go with Charlotte and Miss Danger and get more pine needles."

The boss had spoken and upon receiving his command, the boys and girl sloped off to go and scavenge for more needles, leaving (y/n) to give him a boring look. And people said chivalry was dead.

"Wow, Captain Man. Thanks a lot!" She exclaimed in a faux excited voice, turning lethargically on her heel but not before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. He might have pissed her off but she'd never leave without giving him one, otherwise, she'd never be able to concentrate on anything other than the knowledge that her doofus might not know how much she loved him. And she could never have that.

"So, what's the plan?" Bigfoot asked as the woman walked off to tell Jasper not to eat any unknown substances. It was his voice that broke Ray out of his trance, having been totally in a dream as he followed her figure until it had rounded the corner completely. What? What was that? Had he been thinking about her thighs again? Certainly not!

"We're gonna trap that jerk-bag hunter," Ray replied calmly. He still wasn't awed to be in Bigfoot's presence but he could tolerate him now that his system was clear and he had a job to focus on.

"Yeahhhhh, Bigfoot likey!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, as soon as we spring the trap, Captain Man and I will pop out and he won't even remember that you're Bigfoot.

"Oh, solid plan!" The hairy man grinned as Henry explained what they were gonna do and it did sound pretty cool. The hunter couldn't hunt if he didn't know what he was hunting, which was what made it so clever, if only they were that too. After all, they were so busy chuckling that they didn't notice the predator circling them.

"How does this trap worked?" Biggie asked, distracting them yet again from their surroundings. The stalker in the bushes was good at his job as Bigfoot had described, so he knew how to muffle his footsteps and creep about in the shadows to the extent that not even the great Captain Man with all of his experience knew what was happening.

"Great question, 'Foot!"

"You're gonna stand right over there and when the hunter sees you, he's gonna be like, doo-do-doo-do-doo-do! There's Bigfoot!" Ray played it out, acting like an idiot as he scampered over to stand in the middle of the trap.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, he's gonna walk over and stand right here--this spot," Henry carried on, moving to stand next to his boss so they were adjacent to the pathetic pile of pine needles. They were so dumb; Thompson was standing right there and they didn't even know it, and neither did they see how huddling together was a really crap idea.

"Right here?"

"Mhmm, right where we're standing right now," Ray nodded to the other man, who was now in the centre of the box too, looking around intently but not that intently...or carefully.

"And then, Schwoz will hit a button and he'll spring the trap."

"This trap right here?" Bigfoot pointed to the metal under their feet, just to make sure he knew what they were planning. After all, it was his safety and everything.

"The same."

"The one we're standing over right now."

"And where is this button that springs the trap we're standing on right now?" Bigfoot asked, not realising that his biggest foe was eavesdropping on every word they were saying. It was like they wanted him to know how to outwit them or like they had a death wish because Thompson was getting some great tips on how to catch the beast he'd been after for so many years.

"Another great question, 'Foot. It is riiiiiiiggggghhhtt...there," Henry slurred, looking around for the button since he hadn't been paying attention when Schwox had been setting it up. He and Ray scanned the trees and surrounding bushes before their eyes landed on one big red button that had been nailed to a tree trunk. And that's when they finally noticed the man in the high-vis vest standing next to it.

"Hey there, fella!" Ray suddenly said in a tight, chirpy voice that didn't soothe or fool Thompson. He knew a nervous person when he cornered one or three, including his prize.

"Would you mind stepping over here to the--" Too late. Nothing Ray could've said would have convinced Thompson to do anything but whack the button; he'd waited years to catch Bigfoot and now, he had him and he'd virtually walked into a trap set by himself. He wouldn't pass up that opportunity. Immediately, the trap was sprung and a series of pulleys above their heads pulled the walls up, magnetically locking the three in a solid steel box.

"Woo!" The hunters had become the hunted.

Inside, Ray pulled a portable light from his belt and stuck it to the wall, giving them light now that the moon was hidden due to the height of the metal. It wasn't great but at least they could sort of see.

"Okay, we need a new plan..." Henry hissed to his boss, who knew that it was just a question of what. They couldn't get out, not on their own and little did Thompson know but they had two teens and a weirdo and a hot superhero out in the woods as a backup. He knew what to do.

"Scream for help?"

"Scream for help." Henry nodded and instantly, the three bawled at the top of their lungs. The noise ricocheted out and into the night air as they begged for mercy, for someone to come get them and for the hunter to not hurt them--Ray even tried thumping on the walls to no avail. All that could be heard was that hillbilly celebrating his easiest victory ever.

"Woo! Gah! Yeeewoo! Finally got Bigfoot! Yeah, gah, you're in there, boy! Woo!" He screamed and banged his fist against the steel, causing Biggie to jump at the racket as his enemy taunted him. "I'm gonna call the news right now! That's right, I'm gonna be famous! I'm definitely gonna get married now..."

"Not before I do, buddy..." Ray muttered, fully aware that the asshole couldn't hear him but still. He wasn't gonna be carted off like some freak and fail his mission there had to be some way out, after all, he had a very important date to make at some point. And even so, he doubted that any girl would want to come in three feet of a man who wanted to poach innocent beings.

"Dude, he's calling the news. What are we gonna do?" Henry questioned worriedly and ignored the murmurings that fell from his boss' mouth. He was more concerned with their current predicament than whether Thompson thought he was God's gift to women or water.

"Oh, come on. Like the news is gonna pick up..." the hero scoffed at his sidekick's worries. Not to be mean or anything but S. Thompson was a bit of a weirdo and he doubted that the news would pay attention to him at all--if anything, this would be a wake-up call for him to get a proper job.

"This is the hunter, S. Thompson and I trapped Bigfoot. Bring your cameras, you can be the first people in the world to show pictures of him!" The hunter's hushed voice came from outside and quickly, Henry gave Ray the stink eye. He just had to jinx it, didn't he?

Yeah, the news was interested, they had very little else to do, so now, Mary, Trent and probably all the other creature fanatics in Swellview were headed their way.

"He called the news! They're on the way!" Bigfoot exclaimed in a panicky voice. He was freaking out at the thought of being exposed to the world and from the sounds of it, he was near tears at the thought of being labelled a mutant, a sideshow freak.

"Relax, 'Foot, I'm gonna laser us outta here," Ray told him soothingly as he plucked his controller from his belt. He'd had a great idea and hell, it had once been tried in a movie so it might work now, even if in that movie, the theory hadn't panned out.

"What? No, no, no, dude, it's diamond-plated steel--" Henry tried to warn him that firing a laser could have disastrous consequences but like always, Ray didn't listen. Schwoz and (y/n) had said something about the metal being extremely durable and resistant, so a silly laser wouldn't do a thing, not even a scratch, as they were about to see.

Ray fired a small shot, not at full strength but not a mild one either, but when it came into contact with the patch of walls above their heads, the plasma bounced. It another plate and another and another, ricocheting all around them until it burned a hole in Bigfoot's fur.

"Ow!" He yelped in pain as the heat seared away all of the hair to leave his skin underneath smooth and pale. Definitely not one of Ray's best ideas.

"Maybe if I set this thing to kill..." he muttered, again not thinking with his head. Stupidly, he didn't make the connection that a stronger laser wouldn't help, all it would do was render one of them dead, so Henry would have to wrestle to stop him before something disastrous happened...or maybe not. He'd just had a brainwave.

"Hang on a second. Dude, dudedudedudedudedudedude--"

"What? What?" Ray looked at him, agitated from all of the pesterings. Seriously, that was as annoying as (y/n) begging him for a slurp of his drinks all of the time but without any of the butterflies.

"Dude, look at his arm," Kid Danger said, pointing to Biggie's right arm, the one that had been nicked by the rogue laser.

"Yeah, it's big, but mine are way bigger," the man replied, not seeing the significance of the other guy's arms when his were superb. Come on, they made Miss Danger swoon whenever he tensed them and so, that's what he did, flexed them to make them puff up into the physique that he was well-known for.

"What? No, that's not what I'm--" the boy shook his head and got his boss to knock it off because his name wasn't (y/n) - thirty-two-inch biceps didn't work on him. "Look at the bald spot! It looks like he's got normal skin." He redirected his attention to the lasered spot, which kinda looked like Jasper's head had been after the unfortunate incident.

"So?" Ray shrugged again, not seeing why the kid was getting so pumped over silly old Bigfoot.

"So, this might sound crazy but...what if we shave Bigfoot with our lasers?" Henry suggested, looking at Ray with a devious smirk. Hell yeah, it was crazy and kooky but they were desperate, so maybe they needed a bit of that.

"Okay...love that," Ray was up for it anyway. After the Jasper incident, he'd discover that seeing someone with their hair gone was pretty funny and besides, Bigfoot was known for being hairy--what would the news crews do if they turned up to a pink blob and two superheroes? Probably nothing.

"Uh...I don't know, guys. My hair is kind of my thing," the hairy man said anxiously. He had some doubts, which was understandable but it might be their only option.

"Exactly! So, if we zap your hair off, when they open this up, it'll just be three totally normal, hairless dudes just chilling in the woods!" Henry explained. Honestly, Biggie didn't know if getting caught as a beast or as one of three guys in the woods was worst--the boy did make it sound a bit weird, especially when he and Ray did their weird little hand-wiggle thing.

"Hairless boys!"

"Exactly!" They grinned and did their little high-pitched tongue noises as their fingers wiggled together before looking at the man expectantly.

"Uh, I don't know..." Bigfoot debated, sounding unsure since it had taken him a long time to get to be the walking carpet he was now. How long would it be until he got his hirsute splendour back? But then...

"Woo! Ya hear that? The news is comin'! Yeah, the world is finally gonna know the name of the hunter, S. Thompson! You're mine now, ya big, smelly hairbag!" The obnoxious poacher's voice came from outside and the southern drawl sent a shiver down Bigfoot's spine. Right, he had to remember the alternative and what would happen to him if he didn't lose his hair. It didn't bear thinking about.

"Be gentle..." Finally, he came to a decision; the hair had to go. At least if they set it to a weaker setting then the beam wouldn't be as strong or painful, and so, with the devices turned down low, Henry and Ray got to work. Biggie's eyes were squeezed shut as green light began to glide across his fur, taking it away bit by bit.

It was just hair. It would grow back. Being bald was temporary, being trapped and experimented on was forever.

~Deeper in the woods~

Whilst all of that had been going on with the boys, (y/n) had been traipsing after Schwoz, Charlotte and Jasper for what seemed like forever.

The boy kept seeing bright plants and flowers that he liked the look of--plants and flowers that (y/n) could swear were poisonous so she had a job keeping him alive as they each collected large armfuls of pine needles until they could carry no more.

They'd been at it for a good ten minutes, surely, they had enough to satisfy Ray and cover the trap, besides, Charlotte and Jasper could swear that she was getting antsier the longer she was away from her doofus. Stupid love, it made them so silly.

"Hey, I got more pine needles for the trap!"

"Me too!" The girls shouted as they came stumbling back from different routes, having decided that foraging in different clearings would be the best idea. Schwoz was already stood at the meeting point and like them, could barely see over his collection it was that plentiful.

"Okay, just put them over there by the bush--" he instructed them, thinking that they were gonna return to the campsite in a moment but he didn't expect them to just dump their loads on him. As if he was some sort of pack mule, Charlotte dumped her needles on top of his and because of that, (y/n) copied her, believing that he'd kindly offered to carry them so their arms wouldn't get all itchy.

"Wait, wait, that is not--" His protests came too late and then, Jasper returned as well with yet more pine needles.

"Comin' in with needles!" He shouted, carrying another million or so and Charlotte knew exactly what to do with them, after all, they weren't heavy or anything.

"Oh, give 'em to Schwoz."

"No, do not do that!" the genius protested, thinking that he could barely see as it was, he didn't want more needles on top of him. But Jasper had a problem, one that hadn't been taken care of earlier when Henry kindly volunteered to trim his hand hair because, for the most part, it had been forgotten about.

"I can't hear with all this ear hair!" Jasper yelled at an unnecessary volume and now that they looked, the girl could see that he had long tufts of hair sprouting from inside his ears. Schwoz had said not to itch them and Henry hadn't lasered them, so he was having a hard time listening to anything--including himself.

"Give--your--pine needles--to Schwoz!" (y/n) shouted directly into his ear, hoping that she was being loud enough to penetrate the long strands. Jasper strained to catch every word and nodded as he got the just of it, much to the small man's displeasure.

"Okay!"

"Wait! Don't--arghh!" he groaned as the final pile was added and whilst one small bundle weighed practically nothing, added together, it was quite hefty, enough to make him feel a slight strain. "I know my muscles are huge but--

"Hey, guys!" A voice suddenly came from the right to cut off Schwoz. He couldn't see who it was but for (y/n), Jasper and Charlotte, it was highly familiar--Piper. (y/n) squeaked at the thought of her seeing Miss Danger in the woods, fraternising with two teens who she wasn't supposed to know and in a split second of panic, she froze and looked for a place to hide as the girl approached.

"Someone caught Bigfoot in a trap--bye!" And like that, she was gone. Piper didn't even register that a gobsmacked heroine had been in the clearing, as well as a walking haystack so it was a surreal experience until the panic set in again for a whole different reason.

"Wait, what did she say?" Schwoz asked, not having heard the shocking news above the rustling of the pine needles. Plus, it was kinda hard to believe it since they were trying to do the reverse.

"Someone taught Bigfoot how to rap!" Jasper replied loudly, getting nearly all of the words wrong thanks to his hairy ears. To be fair, Piper had only been present for all of three seconds and Charlotte had (y/n) barely caught it, so he was at a disadvantage.

"No! Someone--caught--Bigfoot--in a trap!" Charlotte yelled, sounding out each word as the heroine had done earlier so he had time to catch them. Well, that didn't sound good at all, especially since if Bigfoot was trapped, then something must've happened to Ray and Henry too. Oh, god...

"We need to get back there!" (y/n) breathed out and gestured for the kids to run after her as a chill ran down her body. Her sweet doofus, Henry, Biggie, something must've happened, so she took off running with the teens hot on her heels as Schwoz floundered with the now useless needles.

"Wait, what about the pine needles?" He called after them.

"Who cares?!" Charlotte screamed over her shoulder and by that point, she was already gone by the time Schwoz said that he did. Miss Danger would have a heart attack if anything happened to her companions, especially her soulmate, but the genius was more concerned about what they had spent so long collecting.

But he didn't have to think about it for long because as he worried about what to do with them, a large, grumbling man emerged from the bushes, heading straight for him. In his drunken state, the man collided with Schwoz, coating himself with the needles that for some reason stuck to him like glue and when he roared from the pain, Schwoz took off running.

He knew a monster when he saw one, even if that monster looked strangely familiar, so he left it to gurgle and claw at the fuzz clinging to his skin so he could make a break for it and catch up with the others.

In the clearing, things had started to heat up.

True to their word to S. Thompson, the news and all of their helicopters, crews and the genuine desk had turned up for the big report, one that would make the hunter famous once and for all. Trent and Mary were here and as soon as the cameras started rolling, he'd spring it for them to see, for the entire world to see.

Not only that, but a group of enthusiasts and local busybodies had arrived, hoping to catch a glimpse of the real-life Bigfoot in the man's trap, so their phones were ready for the big moment, whenever that would come.

"This is insane..." (y/n) grumbled to Charlotte and Jasper, her arms folded as she watched the news desk be lowered from the helicopter for Trent and Mary to sit at.

There had been a few murmured whispers about why Miss Danger had suddenly stormed onto the scene with her face like thunder and two teenagers and a weirdo following her but she was too worried to pay attention. Apparently, Bigfoot was in their trap, which had worked perfectly only on the wrong people, and she just knew that her doofus was stuck in there too--the doofus.

"That's good, Rick!" Trent shouted to the helicopter pilot once the desk was firmly on the ground for her and Mary to sit at.

"Did I miss Bigfoot?" Piper asked Mitch Bilsky, who had indeed been the terrified camper spooked by Biggie earlier. The girl had been slowed down by her dad, who'd gotten lost somewhere along the way after eating some poisonous fungus, but she'd left him behind when the whir of the helicopter sounded above her head. Bigfoot was more important.

"Nah, that guy's about to reveal him right now," Mitch replied, pointing to Thompson as he loitered around the trap, "I'm gonna get a video of me looking at his feet going, what are those?!"

"If I could have everyone's attention!" The hunter announced and looked to the crowd where Mitch was being so immature, "I'd like to give a little speech." He said tenderly, annoying the buzzing crowd who weren't much for mushy sentimentality.

"Websters defines a hero as a big sandwich...but if you look a little further down--"

"Just open it up, ya gunch!" Mitch yelled, interrupting the dumb speech that was in no way relevant or tearjerking. For once, (y/n) was grateful for his big mouth and shuffled from one foot to another as the seconds lagged. She didn't want to hear some shit about sandwiches when her friends and lover were trapped inside and about to be revealed to the world.

"Fine, I'll open it," Thompson huffed, annoyed that his glorious moment as a hero had been shot down, but the best was yet to come as he grabbed the trap's release.

"Behold! Bigfoot!" he cried and the walls fell into their original flat position. As (y/n) had predicted, Ray and Henry had indeed gotten trapped with Bigfoot, caught by that dumbass hunter but along with the heroes was a being who blew her mind.

The cameras flashed as everyone gawked at the guy who was supposedly Bigfoot, but he wasn't. What had been fur was now smooth, pale skin that had seen little sunlight and the teens, (y/n) and Schwoz gasped as they saw Biggie looking like a proper man. His hair and beard were clipped, as were his torso and legs save for a section around his butt that had been kept furry to save his modesty. Honestly, they were just two heroes and a guy in furry pants, what was epic about that?

"Hey, everybody!"

"Hi, people of Swellview..." Ray and Henry greeted the crowd awkwardly as Bigfoot held his breath and tried not to shiver from the newfound cold. Ray turned to wink at his sweet girl, who sighed with relief when she saw that they were all okay but he wasn't able to quell her questioning look, not without tipping off the crowd that they were in the middle of a scheme.

"Trent, Mary, how's it goin'?"

"How are you?" They then turned to news crews, who looked equally perplexed because they had been expecting Bigfoot, not the crimefighters and some random big guy with weird fashion sense. S. Thompson had gone strangely pale and quiet as he took in his prize--or lack thereof--and he couldn't work out what had happened.

"So...where's Bigfoot?" Trent asked, searching the scene but coming up empty. God, he hated hoaxes.

"He's there! He's right there, look!" S. Thompson snapped, pointing directly at Biggie, who merely appeared shrewd and harmless at such an indictment, turning around as if he was just another curious onlooker--just how Ray and Henry had told him to act. If he looked in a mirror, he wouldn't recognise himself, let alone the fanatics and journalists around them, who always saw Bigfoot in one specific light.

"Who, Eddie? This is just our friend, Eddie," Captain Man lied, brushing away the hunter's accusations with faux innocence and his signature trustworthy persona. Everyone believed their favourite heroes because they loved them so much and their cunning made Charlotte, Jasper, (y/n) and Schwoz smirk at each other.

"Hi, I'm Eddie!" Bigfoot waved to the baffled crowd with a big grin on his face. They were confused but didn't suspect a thing; perfect.

"Yeah, and Eddie here, he--he likes to wear...hair shorts."

"Which are a real thing!" Henry said and was quickly backed up by Ray when everyone's gaze fell to Bigfoot's curious attire. Well, they couldn't leave him naked and from a distance, they just looked like a peculiar garment; it wouldn't be the first time Swellview had been hit by weird fashions, the hip youth was always doing odd stuff.

"Whoa...I never heard of no hair shorts," Thompson protested, glaring at the heroes as they tried to slip his prize out from under his nose. He knew the truth, he could smell Bigfoot after so many years of studying and he wasn't going to let them convince the crowd otherwise.

"Well, I have!" (y/n) abruptly exclaimed, crossing the clearing to come and stand in between Henry and her doofus, bringing with her an opinion that the citizens of Swellview could never refuse.

Miss Danger was often spotted in every magazine going, whether they be gossip or fashion because everyone wanted to know what she thought or wore or liked, so if she put her seal of approval on hair shorts then they would be in every boutique in the city before the next sunrise.

"Yeah, I've heard of hair shorts and I think that they are the coolest. I have so many pairs at home!" She lied through her beaming smile as Ray stood smugly next to her and put his arm around her waist. She smiled at that, feeling her heart flutter now that she knew he was safe and sound, even if the camera flashes meant that they'd be headlining the news again as the city's hottest couple.

"Did you hear? Miss Danger says that hair shorts are the coolest!" Charlotte repeated to the crowd in a robotic voice like she was an avid fan eager to follow the heroine's way of life to a tee.

"Yeah! And she's an influencer so hair shorts have to be cool!" Jasper carried on, sending the crowd into a hush of whispers because that's how society worked in the modern era. Celebrities were the leaders and the mere mortal public were the sheep and none could be prouder than Ray as he stood on the arm of the hottest woman in town.

"I--I mean, those are the rules," Piper acknowledged. She was an internet loiterer, constantly checking and refreshing every app and website going for new trends and gossip, so she'd know what to do if one of her idols said something; follow it to the letter.

"Come on, guys. Let's go get some hair shorts!" Mitch smirked at his pack of buffoons, showing that the pack mentality was starting to work--hair shorts would be popular come tomorrow afternoon. And that did not please Thompson.

"No, wait! Don't leave!" he begged the crowd, who were beginning to lose interest now that they knew that Bigfoot was still a mystery and he a loony. "Y'all, that's Bigfoot and I found him! And I'm gonna get married!"

"Fat chance of that..." (y/n) said under her breath so only Ray and Henry could hear her. The man chuckled at her response that was along the lines of his and it was when he had pressed his lips to her temple joyfully that something came stumbling out of the undergrowth.

The crowd gasped as a hulking, moaning creature staggered into the clearing, looking like it had been in a fight with a dead bush and lost, and sounding like it was in pain--kinda like Bigfoot. He was hairy, sort of, and animalistic in his manner, so they snapped a few pictures for evidence of what was actually Mr Hart covered in a load of sap, pine needles from Schwoz, whilst slightly high from the moss that he'd eaten by mistake.

"That's Bigfoot!" Mary cried from the desk, pointing at the terrifying monster as it snarl at the stunned crowd, who quickly descended into madness as they saw what looked like a creature from a fairytale.

As the disorientated man swayed, they charged, eager to get a hold of Bigfoot and Mr Hart ran for his life, the bleariness in his eyes making it difficult until they were all lead away from the trap. And that left the Man Cave team and "Eddie" alone at last.

"Well, that just about wraps it up," Ray said with a clap of his hands and he could honestly say that he was ready to go home. He had unfinished business with his sweet girl and the idea of falling asleep with her as they watched movies in the bed sounded heavenly.

"So..." Henry nodded, knowing that there wasn't much else for them to do now that all of the hunters were on the wrong trail and they'd met Schwoz's friend as they had set out to do. "You guys wanna go back to the Man Cave and watch Will & Grace?"

"Season two?" Biggie asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" Henry giggled and the man and boy bumped fists as everyone agreed that the plan couldn't be better. Well, that would (y/n) and Ray down to the ground, they'd fall asleep watching anything, in their room or not in their room, as long as they could cuddle, which they inevitably would.

"Let's go!" (y/n) grinned and ushered them all to get moving so they could leave all of the drama behind. However, as the teens, Schwoz and Bigfoot turned to go, Ray's eyes wandered and spotted something shiny and interesting yet again. There were so many traps yet for him to discover...so many things for him to take.

"Ooooh, look. Some cheese titos!" he smirked deviously and wiggled his fingers, indicating that he was gonna swipe them for a binge-watching snack. He would never learn his lesson, no matter how many times he hurt himself or had his fingers smacked by his precious girl.

"What? No, dude, no!" Henry tried to stop him, not wanting to go through the same struggle again but this time, (y/n) was willing to let Ray learn for himself. After all, once bitten twice shy, right?

"No, kid, just let him. Sadly, this is the only way he'll learn," she sighed and held a hand out for him to stay where he was. He was her doofus and she loved him but she wasn't going to spend their lives together running around to wrap him in cotton wool. He couldn't be an idiot forever, he'd soon learn to keep his hands to himself.

"These things are cheesetastic!" Ray grinned and reached down to grab the bag as he kept smiling at his tired fiancée. He'd just get these and then, they could go because of course, he wasn't aware that he was the one tiring her out with his antics.

"ARGGGGGGHHHHH!" And then came the pain. The claw closed on his hand as the others had and it was like his hand was being ripped off constantly but refusing to let go of his wrist. "Crunchy snacks, that smarts!"

His friends cringed but as the pain passed, they assumed that he'd hobble back to (y/n)'s side to lick his wounds and seek her comfort, but no. In true Ray fashion and despite his silent promise, the hero looked to his left and saw something else, another doohickey that he fancied, and he figured that one more trinket could hurt. Traps could hurt, though, and hearing him in pain was even worse for some.

"Hey, look! A cane! That'll go perfect with my top hat!" he noted as he ate a chip and felt so giddy about the idea of being a pristine gentleman for his sweet girl that he skipped off to go and retrieve it. At this rate, they'd never go home, not until he was immobilised by metal and carrying a bag full of worthless tat.

"Or...he'll never learn." the heroine lamented, burying her face in her hands as Ray went off again...and got trapped again. Did he not know that he was breaking her heart and tearing down every word she said in his defence? She could get him titos if he wanted and she didn't need him to dress up, dressing down was preferable and now, he was a bigger doofus than ever.

"Ow! Puttin' on the Ritz, that hurts!"

"Are you sure you wanna marry him? It's not too late to run for it, y'know..." Charlotte retorted to the woman, who didn't take any offence from her words. She was joking, that was clear, the girl would never ruin the relationship that she helped to forge, but it had to be said yet again.

They were so different and him so difficult--did she really want to sign herself up for a lifetime of that?

"You don't know my doofus like I do. He's a massive idiot and he drives me insane but he's my massive idiot. I wouldn't have it any other way... I love him."

Hell yeah, she did.

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bisamwilson · 9 months ago

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tagged by my beloved zainab @firstelevens to post my top seven songs in my on repeat! i feel it’s necessary to say the next couple songs are boogie shoes and can you hear the music from oppenheimer, which pretty much sums me up i think

no pressure tagging @thatmexisaurusrex @smfstump @logicheartsoul and @livingincolorsagain if you all want and also have spotify/a music service w an on repeat feature!

#masquerade is in fact from the hit nickelodeon movie rags (2012) starring keke palmer and max schneider yes thank u for asking #really want to write a smut fic inspired by say less one day btw #entitled ‘baby what you talking about (let’s do something else with that mouth)’#tag game #spotify

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rabit333n · 8 months ago

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someone PLEASE send me photos of matt in pink im losing my mind

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kandisheek · 23 days ago

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FIC REC WEEK 49 – SMUT PT. 2

dick drunk by mistymountainking

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 17,650 Tags: Alcoholism, Rough Sex, Multiple Orgasms

Summary: “I’m going to fuck you stupid,” Steve says, pulling away only a fraction of an inch to say it, a promise as deep and certain as the look in his eyes, “and you’re going to take it. Aren’t you, Tony.” Tony wants a drink. Steve gives him something else.

Reasons why I love it: If you like protective Steve giving it to Tony so good that he forgets about his itch to drink, then you are in luck, because this fic is amazing. It's so fucking hot, there are feels and filth in equal measure, and their dynamic is incredible. Definitely read this one, it's one of my favorite smut fics ever!

It Might Almost Be Worth It by nightwalker

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 7,425 Tags: Asexual Steve, Sex Pollen, Declarations of Love

Summary: Tony couldn’t decide if this was more humiliating or frustrating, but either way it was easily the worst thing that had happened all week.

Reasons why I love it: I've never thought about the implications of asexual people getting hit by sex pollen, but after reading this fic, I want 339859 more fics with this exact same premise! The conflict and emotions are so good, especially because nightwalker is such a fantastic writer. I adore this fic, and I bet you will too!

Just a Few More Sets by FrankTheSnek

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 2,151 Tags: PWP, Frottage, Workout Sex

Summary: As soon as the soldier's elbows locked up Tony moved. Swiftly unfolding his legs and stretching them out under his partner. “Tony, what are you–” Tony ignored him, lying down fully and shimmying his way under Steve the same way he would a car he was working on. He shifted and squirmed a little, finally settling and smirking up at the other man. Steve hadn't broken form and was staring down at him with wide slightly confused eyes. “Continue,” Tony said as if it were obvious. (Or, Tony is horny and tired of waiting for Steve to finish working out.)

Reasons why I love it: Cue the kink I never knew I had, Jesus Christ, this is so hot. Frank really has their voices down, and the way they write smut is phenomenal, I was fanning myself like a Victorian lady the first time I read this. I adore this fic, and if you haven't read it yet, then you definitely should!

I'm Your Nickelodeon by Cluegirl

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 22,381 Tags: Voyeurism, Masturbation, Game of Chicken

Summary: It was just a little furtive jacking-off in the shower; no harm done, and Steve's seen worse in the army. Heck, he's seen worse on Tony's YouTube tag, so why on earth Tony hiding in his workshop over it now?

Reasons why I love it: Steve Double-Dog-Dare-Me Rogers is the best thing since sliced bread. I adore this game they're playing, they're both so deep into it and yet so oblivious at the same time, I love it. This fic is as fun as it is hot as hell, and if you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend that you do!

Slap you on the back and say “Please” by scribblywobblytimeylimey

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 3,339 Tags: Bi-Curiosity, Accidental Bondage, Coming in Pants

Summary: The attack comes unexpectedly, in the middle of a meeting and without his suit. He manages fine - he's not a child - and, alright, he had a bit of help. But then the roof decides to go and collapse on him. Good thing Steve was there to jump on top of him before the ceiling did. Only thing is: now, they're kind of stuck. And while Steve is visibly displeased with the situation, certain parts of him disagree with that consensus. It's almost impossible not to have a long, hard think about your sexuality when you've got an aroused super-soldier pinned on top of you for an indeterminate length of time. Especially if he's admitting his boner is not exactly coincidental.

Reasons why I love it: This fic is one of my absolute favorites. I always love a Steve who is completely overwhelmed by his desire for Tony, and this version of him fits that to a T. Plus, the entire smutty bit is fantastic, it's so hot. Definitely check this one out!

#marvel #fanfic #a year in fanfic recs #fic rec #fanfic rec #stony #ficrec

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chiriwritesstuff · 10 months ago

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The New Girl in Tinseltown - Chapter 2 - Devil's Advocate

A Dieter Bravo x Actress! Reader PR Marriage AU

Previous Chapter │ Series Masterlist │ Next Chapter

Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)

Chapter Summary: A look into Dieter's point of view at the night of our fated trip to Vegas. How does America's favorite Bad Boy™ end up married to America's New Sweetheart™?

Chapter Warnings and Tags: (Not So) meet cute, PR Relationships, what happens in Vegas ends up in the headlines, Dieter just does not give a FUCK, Smut, SO MUCH SMUT, a look at the inner workings of Tinseltown and the sleaziness it comes with, Dry Humping, A hell of a lot of dirty banter, is that yearning?, mentions of devious deeds by sleazy people in show business, our loverboy makes a 'Pride and Prejudice reference, SLOW BURN WE DONT KNOW IT, this is unhinged, no use of y/n, No beta we die like men!

Word Count: 8K (whoops!)

A/N: I know, I know, I KNOW. I promised the release of this chapter weeks ago, but I got struck by the not-covid-but-felt-like-covid virus and managed to get myself into the biggest writing slump. I really do apologize for that, and I want to give a big thank you to everyone who stuck around and showed and shared love and support for the first chapter and this series! I can confidently say that the writing slump has finally passed, and we can finally get this crazy show on the road...

An (almost) year before that night in Vegas.

“Dieter, I'm expecting you to be on your best behavior tonight."

Dieter scowls at his publicist while his groomer diligently applies yet another round of pomade in an attempt to tame his unruly curls. "Define best behavior."

"They're about to launch a new girl into the circuit, some unknown that the studio thinks will become the next girl next door," his publicist responds, tapping away at his MacBook. "She's a genuinely sweet thing, all doe-eyed and untouched by the suits. Apparently, she's so sweet that Feldman-"

“Let me guess,” Dieter deadpans, "Feldman wants to fuck her," he rolls his eyes at that, slightly curious at the prospect of fresh blood. "Why am I not surprised?"

"That's not the best part," his publicist quips, his eyes locking with Dieter's over the rim of his laptop. "The studio wants to protect their asset, so much so that they hired-"

"No fucking way, they hired the Shark for this broad? What? Does she have beer-flavored nipples or something?" Dieter exclaims, his curiosity piqued. "Is she really that sweet?"

His publicist's mouth quirks into a small smirk. "The sweetest, most fucking forbidden fruit, my friend. So sweet that the Shark doesn't want you within ten feet of his client."

"Oh yeah?" Dieter replies, his eyes raised.

"Hell yeah. He tried to corner me earlier, warning me to keep my client's - and I quote - Dirty fucking paws off of his Doll-"

"Doll, huh? I bet I could tap that," Dieter challenges, his chest puffed out.

Dieter's publicist chuckles to himself, shaking his head. "Dieter, I know you believe you're God's gift to the masses, but trust me, this Doll? She's a bit out of your league."

Dieter leans back in his chair, a sly grin forming on his face. "Out of my league, huh? That just makes it more interesting. The thrill of the chase, my friend."

His publicist raises an eyebrow, skeptical. "Dieter, I've seen you chase plenty, but this Doll is different. She's not like the others. There's an innocence about her that even your charm might struggle to crack."

Dieter smirks, undeterred. "Well, we'll see about that. The forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest, doesn't it?"

The publicist lets out a resigned sigh. "Just remember, Dieter, not every fruit is meant to be plucked."

"What is this event even for?" Dieter counters, appraising himself as his stylist smooths the fabric of his suit, a deep emerald green number with a crisp obsidian button-down. He pouts at the mirror, glancing at his publicist and his agent behind him. "It's not the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards again, is it?"

"Why? So you could be caught doing blow off a toilet bowl seat like last year? I'm still doing damage control for that, you know," his agent deadpans. "You're in luck; it's the MTV Movie Awards-"

"... and this is Doll's debut, huh? Is she up for an award or something?"

"Several, actually. Surprisingly, her last film gained quite the following-"

"... let me guess, it's some rom-com," Dieter interjects, a hint of disinterest in his tone. "What are the categories?"

"Three, to be exact." His agent smirks into his cognac. "Best Female Lead, Female Breakout Star, and Best Kiss-"

"Best Kiss? Seriously?" Dieter retorts incredulously, his eyes widening. "What's the name of her movie? I might need to see it for myself-"

"Dieter, level with me. Are you gonna keep your dirty fucking paws off of the Shark's asset?" his publicist sighs, giving him a stern look. "As much as I want to shove my foot up his fucking ass, I don't have the energy to have him breathing down my back the entire fucking night-" he looks off into Dieter's direction, who is currently on your Wikipedia page. He frowns. "Dieter, do you hear me?"

"What?" Dieter snaps, slamming his phone onto his seat.

"Can you manage to be on your best behavior tonight? Stay clear of-"

"No. I mean, sure, fine, whatever-" Dieter interrupts, his tone dismissive.

"Dieter-"

"I heard you! I promise to stay away from her, but the real question is, are you able to keep her away from me?" He smirked, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

The (not-so meet cute) at the MTV Movie Awards.

"Dieter!" you shout, hastily making your way toward him, clearly a few drinks in. "Surprised to see you here!" you shout excitedly, a little wobble in your step as you approach him.

You adorn a sleek silver gown, your hair elegantly swept to one side, and your radiant face contrasting vividly with the venue's intense lights. Dieter finds himself momentarily breathless as he gazes at you, captivated by your ethereal presence, akin to an angel descending into the depths of hell. "Fuck me," he murmurs under his breath as you draw near, the collar around his neck suddenly feeling constrictive as he nervously swallows. "What the hell? I never get nervous around women," he mutters to himself, his eyes tracing the entirety of your figure. His pants grow notably tighter, his attention fixated on the hypnotic sway of your hips.

He greets you with a nervous smile as you come face to face, tenderly planting a kiss on your cheek. His eyes close momentarily as he savors your delicate scent, a sensation that electrifies his chest and courses through his veins, prompting his hands to instinctively caress the back of your head as he subtly tries to capture another whiff. A subtle sense of pride swells within him as he notices the blush unexpectedly blooming across your skin, its warmth cascading down your cleavage.

Forbidden fucking fruit indeed.

"Doll," he attempts to say smoothly, a hint of nervousness lacing his voice. "I've heard so much about you. Congrats on your wins tonight; they're truly well-deserved!"

"Really?" you suddenly squeal, and Dieter feels like he could get lost in your energy. It's pure, sweet, and so inherently innocent—the childlike wonder of being thrust into the limelight, untarnished by the sleazy underbelly of Hollywood. He can't help but internally frown, foreseeing the inevitable vultures in suits trying to get a piece of you. Their insatiable hunger for new, sweet flesh is something he knows all too well.

"Well, yeah, Doll, you killed it, as expected. Winning tonight and sweeping all your nominations was a given," he muses, casually leaning against his chair. As he leans towards you, a subconscious desire prompts him to take another whiff of your perfume, desperately trying to commit its essence to memory amid the haze of his coke-induced high. He can't resist burying his nose in your hair, eyes closing as he takes you in once more.

"Dieter-" you question his sudden boldness, a nervous chuckle escaping you.

"I'm sorry, baby-" he moans into your neck, his hands traveling down the length of your back. "You must tell me what the name of your perfume is, its divine-"

"Oh," you laugh as Dieter pulls you into him tighter, groaning as his hands travel dangerously close down your hips. "It's 'Missing Person' by-"

"Doll," a voice emerges from behind the two of you, accompanied by a stern clearing of someone's throat. Dieter's expression darkens as he recognizes the owner of the voice, but not before planting one final teasing kiss against your throat. With a smirk playing on his lips, he straightens up and turns to confront the perpetually annoyed yet annoyingly handsome face of the man Hollywood dubs 'The Shark'- also known as the most ruthless of publicists in all of Tinseltown, protecting his clients with an iron fist so strong no one ever thinks of crossing him.

Unless they wanted a cease and desist letter shoved so far up their assholes... without any fucking lube.

Dieter gets it, though. If he were in his shoes and he had a client like you? All sweet and pure with the face of an angel but a body curated by the Devil himself?

Well, he would fuck your brains out and make you forget your name first, but that's beside the point. The point is, he gets it, he really fucking does.

"Well well well," Dieter croons as he holds his hand up towards your publicist. "It's been a long time, Shark. Tell me, did you have to call ahead to make sure that some poor bloke's mangled testicles made it onto your plate for tonight, or did you rip someone's balls off fresh on-site?" he snarks with the raise of his eyebrow, shaking his head as your publicist stares at his outstretched hand in greeting. Dieter scoffs as he retreats his hand, placing it on his hip.

"Bravo," Your publicist grits through clenched teeth as he tries to appear as unbothered as possible. "Aren't you a little old to be here tonight? The rumors aren't true, you know. Fucking girls close to half your age doesn't keep you young, but I suppose it makes sense, considering a woman your age would know better-"

"Shark, I won't tolerate you talking like that in the presence of an actual earth-bound angel. Just because she's young doesn't mean she doesn't know right from wrong-" Dieter retorts, flashing you a smoldering smile. "... you know how to handle yourself, don't you, Doll? You don't need some uptight prick telling you what you can and cannot do, right?" he winks, a slight puff to his chest.

You visibly shiver at his cheeky insinuation, nodding. "Right," you breathe, taking a hasty gulp of your champagne. "I'm 29 years old, I don't need you defending my 'honor' like I'm some virginal maiden-"

"Well, when my client has far too many drinks in her and doesn't understand the kind of man she's in the presence of-"

"The Devil, right?" Dieter exclaims, pointing to himself. "A no-good washed-up actor who fucks anything with two legs while high off my rocker, who just so happens to be good at what I do with the Oscar in my shitter to prove it? Don't you think she knows all of this? My bare ass isn't on the front page of TMZ weekly because I'm a nobody, baby."

"Oh my god, Dieter," you gush, clapping your hands together. "I loved you in-"

"Doll," your publicist interrupts, a firm hand on your shoulder. "You have that meeting with Favreau at the Beverley Hills in 30 minutes. As much as we would love to stay and chat... we have our jobs to get to, right Doll?" your publicist says to you sweetly, his hand grazing your arm. He clears his throat, nodding at Dieter. "Bravo, it was stimulating, as always," he deadpans with a hint of finality, pulling on your elbow like a lost puppy on a leash. Dieter swallows as he witnesses your light dimming from your face, a small frown on your face as you try to remain cordial, a fake smile etched on your face.

"It was nice meeting you, Dieter," you almost whisper, pulling him into one last hug. "... maybe we'll just run into each other again soon?" You quickly whisper in his ear, and the thought of the two of you meeting up in secret thrills him to no end. His dick certainly twitches at the prospect.

Dieter takes one last whiff of your scent, his eyes closing as he wills the time to stand still, not wanting to lose the warmth radiating from your aura. He presses one last kiss on your cheek, his fingers caressing the spot as he gives you a genuine smile.

"... it wouldn't be soon enough, baby."

He gives The Shark one last salute, flipping him off once his back is toward him. “Fucking asshole cockblock,” he mutters to himself, patting his suit pocket for his little baggie of E. He pinches the baggie between his fingers, looking at its contents in silent contemplation. I guess if I can't get the girl, at least I can get the high, right?

The morning after.

Dieter is face down on his sofa in his boxers and his robe, groaning from the after-effects of his debauchery just a few hours before. As if his skull is splitting into two, he winces as he turns himself onto his back, staring aimlessly into his ceiling as his iPhone suddenly starts to go off from under him.

Sighing, he blindly reaches for his phone, one eye open as he squints into the tiny, shattered screen.

TMZ NEWS FLASH! Up-and-coming Actress who swept MTV awards show last night being groped by Resident Playboy Dieter Bravo? Her publicist sweeps in to save our New "It" Girl in Tinseltown from the grasp of the Devil himself-

Dieter scoffs as he swipes the notification away, his eyes scanning the next headline.

AP NEWS ALERT: Dieter Bravo seen kissing Rising Actress at MTV Movie Awards last night, is a new romance brewing between the Fresh-Faced Actress and Playboy Lothario Dieter Bravo?

"Dieter," his publicist groans as he walks into the room, picking up a crumpled pair of boxer briefs off the sofa, and throws himself on it, pinching the space between his eyebrows as he shakes his head. "What the hell did I tell you? Stay away from The Shark's client, don't grope her in front of him! Can't you just listen to me for once?"

"It was innocent! I kept my hands at a respectable distance from her ass," Dieter retorts, throwing his phone across the room. "I didn't even make a move—"

"That's not the point, Dieter!" his publicist spits back, pulling out his phone. "Do you realize how much this guy despises you? I'm good at my job, but The Shark? I can't go against a god—"

"You're making him out to be some untouchable—"

"...because he is untouchable, Dieter! Do you even know he's buddies with Feldman? After learning about your stunt last night, he's considering pulling you from the project."

"Please," Dieter scoffs, rolling his eyes. "They need me more than I need them! I'm practically doing them a favor, signing on to this fucking movie. They're not going to pull Dieter Bravo from a sinking ship! It's just scare tactics!"

"Yeah, well, you know what they say. The pussy is stronger than god, right?" his publicist replies, scrolling through his phone. "Feldman didn't appreciate your hands on his girl, and now he's out for blood. I warned you about this, D. Is some girl worth losing a multi-million dollar contract? Do you want to go back to doing 'surprise guest star' roles on cable TV? I heard they're thinking of rebooting 'Suits', it might be a good fit for you-"

"So what do I need to do then?" Dieter fires back, a joint between his lips. "I assume I'll be needing to make a public statement or some shit? Keep the old bastard happy?"

"It's funny you mention that D. I have an email from The Shark himself, with a list of what he wants you to say in your statement, promising he'll back the fuck off if you promise to not go within ten feet of his asset-"

"Have you ever heard of 'Missing People' perfume?" Dieter suddenly asks, taking a hit off his joint, his eyes following the thick plume of smoke as he leans back into the sofa. "Missing... Woman?" he mumbles to himself absentmindedly, licking his lips. "Fuck, what did she say it was? I need to stop going to these things blitzed out of my fucking mind-"

"Dieter, focus. Are we releasing the statement or not?"

"MARCUS!" Dieter calls out for his PA suddenly, ignoring his publicist as he grabs the phone out of his hands. "MARCUS! I NEED YOU!"

"Yes D?" Marcus responds as he rushes into the living room, pulling a fresh pack of Kitkat out of his back pocket. "Did you need a snack?"

"Have you ever heard of 'Missing Someone' perfume?" he asks once more as he pulls up the Safari app on his publicist's phone.

"You mean 'Missing Person' by Phlur?" Marcus quips, picking up the stray pieces of discarded clothing strewn randomly around the room. “One of my favorite actresses just became the spokesperson for that perfume, swears by it-“

“Missing PERSON, that’s what it was!” Dieter shouts, tossing his publicist's phone back at him. “Marcus, you’re a fucking godsend! I knew there was a reason why I kept you around! Could you do me a small favor?”

"What do you need, D?" Marcus asks eagerly, his hand perched on his hip.

"I need you to buy me 'Missing People'. A couple of bottles, at least."

"How many is a couple?" Marcus asks with a nervous chuckle. "Five? Are you giving these out as gifts or something?"

"Maybe I could call Chriselle, and tell her you're interested in the company, there are more scents suitable for men, D," his publicist says casually, pulling out his laptop from his messenger bag. "I ran into her at Erewhon the other day, she's a big fan of your work, and couldn't stop talking about Cliff Beasts... Now, about that statement-"

"Fuck asking, just go to Neimans or Sephora or something and buy out their entire stock. Lotions and body wash and candles if it comes in that scent, too, Marcus. Go to all of the fucking Sephoras if you need to."

"... the entire stock? D, what is this for?"

"Do I pay you to ask all of these fucking questions? Don't worry about what I'm going to do with it. Just get it in my hands by the end of the day, do you think you could swing that?"

"... yes?"

Dieter takes another drag out of his joint, nodding aimlessly. "Great. Also, stop by Blicks on your way back. I need an entire arsenal and the biggest canvas they have. New brushes, too! Set up my studio and put the 'Missing People' in my bathroom, and I'll want my usual In n Out order, too."

Flustered, Marcus pulls out his phone and starts typing Dieter's requests on his notes app. Running a nervous hand through his hair, he looks at his boss once more. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Get the fuck out of my face and get to work, Marcus. Chop Chop!"

His assistant nods and scrambles out of the living room, tripping on the corner of the area rug on his way out. Dieter's publicist raises his eyebrow at the display, shaking his head as he types away on his laptop. "You know, you could be nicer to him, D. He tries hard to cater to your every fucking whim and fancy... now, are we gonna release that fucking statement or not?"

"What statement?" Dieter asks absentmindedly as he pulls out a small baggie from his robe pocket.

"The one where you say that you had a little too much to drink and that you didn't mean anything by groping Doll at the Movie Awards, and that you're really sorry and will be donating a couple thousand to a women's shelter-"

"... and this will make The Shark happy? and Feldman off my ass?" he replies, rubbing his gums as he smiles to himself. "I'll be able to stay on the project?"

"You can start packing your bags, yes. Filming starts in a week for the next few months in Europe. It'll give this whole Movie Awards nonsense some time to blow over."

Dieter considers this for a moment. He sticks his tongue out in contemplation, coming to the unsettling realization that he hasn't been in a major studio project in the last few years. He needs this job more than they need him, and deep down, he knows this. He takes one last drag out of his joint, flicking the roach away as he turns towards his publicist.

"Release the fucking statement."

His publicist nods, fingers flying across the keyboard. "Good," he murmurs, genuine relief softening his features. "I can't handle you out of work for another month, not after the fucking pandemic... What's the deal with all that perfume, anyway?"

"What?" Dieter replies absentmindedly, scratching his beard.

"The stuff you made Marcus buy in bulk," his publicist clarifies.

"Forget the perfume. Do you still have those photos I sent you?"

"I've got them, but I haven't checked them out yet. Why?"

Dieter gestures toward the laptop. "Why don't you take a look?"

His publicist eyes him warily, opening the email. His expression shifts to shock as he glimpses the contents. "Is this—"

Dieter nods, a smirk creeping onto his face. "Yep."

"This is huge, Dieter. How did you even get these? They're screwed if this ever goes public—"

"That's why it's payback time. A little warning shot," Dieter interrupts, leaning forward eagerly. "We leak the photos. Anonymously, of course."

"Dieter," his publicist warns, "If they trace it back to you—"

"I'll take the risk. They messed with the wrong guy," Dieter scoffs, a hint of satisfaction in his voice. "These amateurs think they can get away with it?" he mutters to himself, then clears his throat. "Remember our motto?"

"Nobody fucks with Dieter Bravo."

Dieter leans back on the sofa, nodding. "That's right. Nobody fucks with Dieter Bravo."

Six Months later.

"Hi, I'm Carol Cobb!"

"... and I'm Dieter Bravo!"

"And we are doing a Wired Autocomplete Interview!"

"Alright! Is Dieter Bravo..." Carol energetically rips the first sheet of paper off her card, a playful smile spreading across her face as Dieter looks attentively at the camera. "Is Dieter Bravo dead?!" She bursts into laughter, smacking Dieter with the card, who simply shrugs. "Wow! Why would they hit us with that right out of the gate?"

"Not dead yet!" Dieter exclaims, pushing his signature glasses off his face while gazing into the camera. "Got close... several times," he adds with a pointed smirk.

"...and we are very much thankful for that!" Carol shouts. "Shall we move on to the next one?" She tears the next slip of paper, her eyes widening as she reads, “Is Dieter Bravo secretly married?!”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a secret if I spilled the beans now, would it?” Dieter smiles conspiratorially, rubbing his chin in contemplation.

“I can't imagine you ever settling down,” Carol muses with a smirk. "It seems unnatural, like going against the natural order of things, like sea animals on land. Dieter Bravo, settled down with one girl? Hell would have to freeze over before that ever happens," she teases.

"I think it could happen," Dieter says matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest as he settles back into his seat.

"What could happen?" Carol asks, her curiosity piqued.

"Settling down. Getting married, perhaps... even starting a family," Dieter replies thoughtfully.

"It would take quite the woman to make 'The Great Lothario' change his ways. Seems like an impossible feat," Carol interrupts, chuckling. "A woman who can stop the great Dieter Bravo from his manwhoring ways? Maybe someone who lives under a rock and doesn't know about your reputation."

"Actually," Dieter interjects, a hint of excitement in his voice. "I think I've met someone recently who's made quite an impression on me."

Carol's eyes widen in surprise. "What do you mean, you think you've met someone? Who is this mysterious girl that's captured your attention, D?"

"Well, she's an actress-"

"Of course," Carol quips with a knowing smirk.

"... she's new. I had the pleasure of meeting her at the MTV Movie-"

"You're not talking about Doll, are you? The woman you groped after meeting her for the first time? Someone even said that they caught you sniffing her! Who does that, Dieter?!"

"I am a connoisseur of all things exquisite and beautiful, ma chérie. She smelled absolutely divine, and I swear her scent lingered on me for days after, I swear, just let me nuzzle my face in between the valley of those luscious tits-"

"God, D. I think they're gonna have to edit this shit out!" Carol mutters, looking embarrassed by Dieter's boldness. She leans towards Dieter. "I thought you signed some embargo with The Shark promising you wouldn't mention her," she whispers in his ears. "Even I wouldn't think to fuck with him-"

"Well, Feldman was my main concern, and now he's facing jail time for all of those underage claims and those leaked photos, so fuck it!" Dieter counters, knowing damn well he worked behind the scenes for it to happen, leaking a few photos he had stored away on his iCloud, kissing himself on the mouth knowing it would come in handy sooner or later.

AP NEWS ALERT: Hollywood bigshot arrested for leaked inappropriate images from an anonymous source of various actresses, denies all allegations of misconduct.

One asshole down, one Shark to bury next, he thinks to himself, chuckling at the thought. "Besides, I can't get her out of my fucking mind! I've never felt this way about a woman before, Carol, I mean it this time!"

"I mean, she's undeniably beautiful," Carol agrees, "but she's still new to the industry. They've been typecasting her in those romcoms with whatshisname, but I've heard she's pushing for more challenging roles—"

"Cut!" The director's voice slices through the air, his eyes narrowed at them both. "This interview is about promoting Cliff Beasts, not discussing Dieter's love life with some woman."

"Hey, that 'woman'? She's my future wife, so watch your damn mouth," Dieter snaps back, his tone defensive.

"Whoa, D, hold on. Future wife? You barely know her!" Carol interjects, her hand pressed against her chest in disbelief. "Take it easy, baby. Get to know her first, at least."

"It's gonna happen, Carol. I can feel it in my damn bones. I was drawn to her the moment I laid eyes on her," Dieter insists, his confidence unwavering.

"Listen, Casanova, I don't care who you think you're gonna marry, but we're on a tight schedule here!" the director interrupts, frustration evident in his voice. "Stick to the damn questions, and no more talk about your little 'girlfriend.'"

"Fine," Dieter mutters, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of water. "But do me a favor—don't cut out the part about her assets. It'll bring in views like crazy. I did you a favor there."

The director waves him off as he storms away. "Remind me why I took this job knowing this idiot would be here," he mutters to himself, heading back behind the camera.

The day of the (not so thought out) wedding.

Dieter is anxiously bouncing his leg, biting his pinky nail as his groomer meticulously applies another layer of concealer under his darkened eyes. "Jeez D, have you been sleeping at all lately?"

"What?" Dieter asks absentmindedly, running a shaky hand through his curls. "Yeah- I've been sleeping, why?"

“Your under-eyes, D. They’re darker than my fucking soul, man. Didn’t I tell you to lay off on the sauce? I’m on my fourth layer of concealer-“

“It’s nothing,” Dieter says dismissively. “Just… have you ever been in love?”

"Sure I have," his groomer replies, a small smile on their face. "That's why I'm married, silly. Why?"

"Say you like a girl, and you think that this girl might be interested but then TMZ posts leaked photos of said girl and some beefed up Hollywood hunk "canoodling" with each other while filming their movie together in Canada-"

"This is Doll that we're talking about, correct? The one you groped at the MTV Movie-"

"I DIDN'T GROPE HER!" Dieter exclaims, groaning as he sinks further into his seat. "Why does everyone keep saying that? I was simply giving her a friendly, yet casual hug when she APPROACHED ME-" He huffs like a petulant child, his arms crossed around his chest in defiance. "Anyway, I thought, after I desperately tried to shoot my shot, let my intentions known in that 'Wired' Interview with Carol, that she would contact me, you know? Maybe slide into my DMs-"

“Slide into your DMs?” His groomer scoffs, plucking a stray eyebrow hair with their tweezers from his face as he dramatically flinches, narrowing his eyes at them. “You flat out said you wanted to smother your face in the ‘valley of her luscious tits’, I would be surprised if she hasn't filed a restraining order against you yet... Let me give you a bit of advice: Girls want to be romanced, not objectified! ... have you ever had a 'real' girlfriend before, D?"

"Hey! I've had girlfriends, alright?" Dieter groans, frustration evident in his voice as he clenches his fists. "Just because they didn't stick around afterward doesn't mean it was all my fault, okay?"

"The girls you hook up with during your benders and then discard once the high wears off don't exactly qualify as 'real' girlfriends, D! Let's be serious here!"

"That's what I'm trying to be," he whines, "I'm trying SO HARD to be serious for once! I can't get this girl out of my head, and it's been what? Almost a year since I've met her? I can't get my dick hard when I'm with anyone else anymore, I don't want to take drugs, it's like I'm fucking broken or something! ... and now she's off fucking Joe Hollywood over here like I'm not bleeding my fucking heart out for her-"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that you're actually sober right now?"

"Well, yeah. The last time I took something was before filming Cliff Beasts, I thought you knew that. Anyway, it doesn't fucking matter. All of that and she doesn't even notice me."

"Well, I would tell you that if you had bothered to read TMZ this morning instead of sulking, you would know that there are split rumors between this girl and Hollywood neanderthal," His groomer retorts, a shit-eating grin on their face. "It was over before it even began. I mean, I've heard for such a massive man, he has quite the tiny di-"

Dieter perks up at that. "Say that again."

"They've broken up. She's back on the market, silly goose."

"So that means-"

"That means that I'm going to groom the shit out of you and help you out by making her realize just what she's missing out on, D." His groomer replies, massaging his scalp as they make eye contact through the mirror in front of them. "You're lucky that I consider myself a hopeless romantic. If you promise not to break her heart, I'll help you get the girl, ok?"

"Shit, do you think she'll like me?" Dieter says nervously, fidgeting in his seat.

"Obviously," his groomer replies cryptically, a smirk forming on the corner of their mouth. "I may or may not have some intel from another groomer friend of mine about their supposed breakup."

"Oh?" Dieter perks up, his eyebrow raised in curiosity. "... and what would that intel be?"

"Oh, you know. Someone might have asked their stylist if they think you'll be attending tonight, how she kept trying to be sly about it."

"Doll asked about me?! Are you serious?" Dieter's excitement is palpable.

"Well, according to my friend, the reason why they broke up was that someone might have moaned your name while being eaten out by 'Joe Hollywood' the other day-"

"No fucking way!"

"She's into you, D! I would say that your little ploy during the 'Wired' interview worked more than you think, bud."

Dieter nods, taking the biggest sigh of relief as he settles in his chair. "One last thing, do you groom just the top half of me, or are you open to grooming other places?"

"What do you mean?" his groomer cocks their head to the side.

"Shit, well... are you open to grooming my nether regions? It's been a while since I've been with a woman, I'm almost full caveman down there-"

His groomer tsks, pulling out their phone. "Dieter, as much as I love you, I don't love you that much. Let me call someone for that, ok?"

A few hours later, on the red carpet.

"Dieter," his publicist says under his breath as they walk down the red carpet. "The cameras are this way, why are you so distracted?"

"I'm looking for someone," Dieter replies as he winks at the sea of paparazzi, flashing them a peace sign as he walks toward the venue's entrance.

"Well, who are you looking for?" His publicist replies impatiently, looking down the red carpet.

"Doll, obviously. Do you know if she's arrived yet?"

His publicist rolls his eyes, sighing. "She arrived about five minutes ago, don't you see her?"

Dieter inhales deeply, his gaze scanning past the vibrant red carpet until it locks onto yours. His breath catches in his chest, surprised by the unexpected connection. You appear taken aback at first, but swiftly compose yourself, subtly angling your body towards him with a seductive smile playing on your lips.

"Holy Shit..." Dieter's mind races with excitement. "She really does want me."

Filled with newfound confidence, he playfully purses his lips in your direction, sending a cheeky kiss your way as his eyebrows wiggle in amusement. A flush of color blooms across your cheeks in response, catching his eye. But as he revels in the moment, he notices The Shark's gaze narrowing in his direction, a whisper passing between him and you.

That's fucking right Shark. I'm coming for my girl, and there is nothing you can fucking do about it.

Later, Dieter observes you from across the room as you sit at your table, alone, nursing another glass of champagne. He notices how you try to avoid meeting his gaze, despite catching you stealing glances at him throughout the night when you think he isn't looking. It surprises him to see you being so reserved, so quiet, especially without The Shark hovering around you like a protective dragon guarding its treasure.

What's gotten you so down, babydoll? he muses, leaning back into his chair. As if you could read his thoughts, your eyes meet from across the room once more, and you quickly look away, smiling to yourself at getting caught looking.

Dieter senses the moment's significance, his heart racing with anticipation. He knows he must seize this opportunity, the perfect moment to step forward and break the barrier between the two of you. With a determined smile, he decides it's time to make his move.

As he rises from his chair, Dieter's confidence swells, fueled by the intensity of the moment. With purposeful strides, he crosses the room, his gaze fixed on you, the anticipation building with each step. This is his chance to bridge the gap, to finally reveal the feelings he's kept hidden for so long.

He draws in another deep breath as he approaches you from behind, mustering his most seductive gaze as he leans in towards your exposed ear, his warm breath grazing your skin.

"I can't help but notice that you've been eye-fucking me the entire night."

He groans softly as he takes a seat in the chair beside yours, hoping to conceal any nerves as he attempts to exude charm. "I guess my little ploy of trying to get your attention with that 'Wired' interview worked out in my favor-"

You respond with a subtle smile, your fingers gracefully tracing the edge of your champagne glass. How does something as simple as that manage to rile me up? he wonders inwardly, returning your smile.

"You know," you say softly, a chuckle escaping you as you shake your head in disbelief, "There are more normal ways to get a girl's attention-"

The longer Dieter spends in your presence, the more he feels himself on edge, the tension mounting with every passing moment. His pulse quickens, and he can't ignore the growing semi in his suit pants. It's astonishing how much you affect him, like a siren calling out for him while lost at sea, lying in wait, ready to bring him to absolute ruin.

Fuck. Keep it cool, Bravo.

"Ah, but you're America's Sweetheart, and your pitbull of a publicist won't let me near you, I had to let my-" he gulps at the sight of your ample bust, licking his lips in anticipation, "... intentions very clearly known."

"Well," you breathe, chest heaving. "I don't know if it's 'clearly' known," your voice drops to a whisper, like a secret that is shared only between the both of you, two lonely souls amongst a sea of chaos. "I think you're just going to have to spell it out for me."

Dieter, sensing victory, leans back triumphantly, spreading his legs as he subtly encloses you within his space. His dark, smoldering gaze meets your thinly veiled attempt at your best innocent doe eyes... but Dieter sees right through it. He grins widely, reveling in the knowledge that he's the cat about to get all of the cream—your cream. That's right, babydoll, I've finally caught you, and I'm never going to let you go.

He laughs at the sight of you, his chin motioning to your breasts. "Do you want to have sex with me, Dollface?"

Your eyes widen, and a small gasp escapes your lips, as you search his gaze, trying to decipher if he's just bullshitting or if he's actually fucking serious. I'm serious, alright, he chuckles to himself. "If I miscalculated this fucking thing that's going on between us, tell me and I'll fuck off, leave you alone-"

"What if I don't want you to fuck off, and want to tell you that I'm this close to being plastered and that all I kept thinking about tonight is you railing me with that huge cock we both know is aching for me in some deserted hallway-" you challenge, picking your champagne glass for good measure, downing its contents in one swig. For courage, he thinks. "I would beg to ask you... what's taking you so damn long, Bravo?"

WhatsApp chat between Dieter & Marcus: Dieter: Hey Marcus, are you still in the venue? Marcus: Yes! With your publicist. Did you need something? Dieter: This party blows. Can I borrow your car? Marcus: Oh, did you want me to drive you home? The party just started, Dieter. Dieter: I can drive myself back, stay for the party! Catch a ride with the suits afterward! Get shitfaced, you're officially off the clock! Marcus: Seriously? Do you know how to drive a stick? It's my baby, I don't know if I feel comfortable with you driving it, are you high right now? 🤦‍♂️ Dieter: No, for the last time, I'm fucking clean, man. Just do me a solid and let me borrow your car, I swear I'll give you a fucking raise! What do you want for one night with your baby? Tell me, I'll give you anything! Marcus: Fine. Just tell me what you did with all of that fucking perfume, there"s a bet going on and I would like to shove it in your publicist's face that I know! Dieter: Seriously man? That's all you want? Marcus: Do you want my keys or not, D? Dieter: Fine. I took the fucking perfume, doused my entire bedroom in it, and fucked myself smelling it thinking about Doll. Dieter: Is that enough of an explanation for you? Come the fuck on, man, I need your car! Please! 🙏 Marcus: 🙌 Meet me at the lobby in five.

"So tell me," Dieter shouts as he peels out of the parking lot, laughing at the delighted squeal that escapes your lips as you throw your head back, your arms raised upward as he turns quickly into the streets of Los Angeles. "How often did you think about me, babydoll?"

You boldly reach over to cup his erection, your small hand wrapping around the tip of it. "As much as I reckon you thought of me, Bravo. Tell me, how often did you come, alone in that massive bed of yours, to the thought of your cock thrusting into my tight pussy?"

"Fuck baby, do you want me to crash this car? It's not mine, you know?"

"Answer the fucking question, Bravo."

"Baby, if you only knew how much I fucking came just thinking about your tits... I don't think you know just what exactly you got yourself into, little girl... but I'll show you just how I thought of you coming on my fat cock, giving me absolutely everything-"

I've been hungry for you, baby, and I'm going to feast on every inch of your body, just you fucking wait-

He cackles like a madman as he peels into the dwindling streets of LA. "Are you hungry, Dollface?" he yells, almost running a red light, his eyes fixed on the glowing In n Out sign in the distance.

"I shouldn't, I have that screen test next week-"

"Fuck the screen test!" he shouts. "The night is young, and you are gorgeous. Let Dieter take care of you, baby... while I still have you in my grasp. I ain't gonna waste a moment I have you in my orbit!"

He pulls into the In n Out parking lot, cutting the engine, and pulls you into his lap, his face immediately diving into the valley between your breasts. "You can suffocate me with these tits and I would die a happy man," he mumbles against your skin, his growl reverberating throughout your entire body like wildfire. "What do you say, Doll? Would you do me the honors?"

"Fuck Dieter," you moan, tipping your head back in pleasure as his tongue teases the edge of your dress covering your breasts. "Grab my tits," you beg, grabbing his hands for good measure. Dieter wastes no time as he grabs the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss, his tongue licking along the seam of your mouth, begging for entrance.

"Open up for me, baby girl. Let Dieter taste you-" he pleads, and you pull away with him, your hair wrecked and lipstick smeared. Dieter imagines he looks as wrecked as you do, his pupils blown and chest heaving. You pull him into another kiss, sighing into it, your mouth opening slightly. Dieter takes this as a sign to devour you completely, your tongues fighting for dominance as you begin to rock your hot pussy against his thick cock.

"I want to ride you into the sunset, D," you whisper, pulling at his curls harshly. "Are you gonna give me what I want? Or am I going to have to find someone else to do it?"

"Fuck-" Dieter pants, his gaze reaching yours, his mouth agape in awe. "How in the fuck did I get so fucking lucky-"

"Grab my tits, D," you ask once more, moaning and throwing your head back, biting your lower lip as you grind on his throbbing erection. Dieter quickly obliges, his large hands engulfing both of your breasts. His fingertips graze the edge of your dress, the hardness of your nipple pressing into the middle of his palm, and he swears that if he were to be struck down dead right at this moment, he would die a happy man.

"Shit, I knew that your tits would feel amazing, but you are so fucking soft-"

"Oh yeah?" you tease, your teeth grazing the shell of his ear. "I'm soft in other places, too." You whisper in his ear, and he swears he feels the ghost of your smile as he moves his hands back on your hips, his fingertips squeezing the softness of your ass as he angles his dick where he imagines your clit to be, thrusting into your hot, wet heat. "Fuck, so goddamn soft-" he groans, his tongue licking a wet stripe along the tops of your breasts. "You're fucking everything I never knew I always wanted, baby girl," he praises you honestly, cupping your cheek as he pulls you into another kiss, groaning as your tongue dances with his, leaving him breathless.

"Am I?" you pant as you wrap your arms around his neck, your pussy dragging along the thick outline of his cock. "You talk like you want to marry me or something-"

"... oh, but I do want to marry you, breed you, keep you locked up in my mansion... you have no idea just how much I've thought about you, these last few months-"

"Dieter! My Man!" someone shouts in the distance. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he yells back, "I'm about to fuck this beautiful woman in an In n Out parking lot, what are you doing here?"

"Fuck, can I take a pic, man?" the fan shouts as he approaches the convertible.

"Don't you see we're a little preoccupied?" you shout at the fan, flicking him off. "Get the fuck out of here!" you shout.

The fan quickly takes a shot of the both of you with his iPhone, a half-hearted apology mumbled out of his mouth as he quickly runs back inside of the restaurant, probably to the group of men who are completely unaware of the two celebrities dry-humping the fuck out of each other in their wake, eating their double-doubles and sneaking sips out of a cup filled with some cheap ass vodka, fist-bumping the night away.

"Are you gonna come in those Gucci pants of yours, D?" you tease, your pace quickening as you ride his dick relentlessly. "How does it feel having America's Sweetheart getting you to come in your pants, baby?"

"Fuck," Dieter pants, his hand wrapping around your neck as he pushes you against the steering wheel, angling the tip of his cock against your clit. "How does it feel to get fucked by The Devil, sweetheart? Your pussy is begging me to just rip those fucking panties off and just claim you, right in front of all of these fucking people-"

You shiver at that, a choked curse and his name out of your mouth as he sees the entirety of your body begin to quiver and shake.

"Don't fight it, baby, I know you fucking like the attention, I know you want everyone to see how much of a bad fucking girl you are inside... but don't worry, Dieter knows, and I'll help you show them," he pulls you against him harshly, your chest pushed up against his, as his teeth sink at the hollow of your neck. "I'll get the world to see just who you really are, baby. Let me show you the way-"

You scream as he thrusts into you once more as he rips your orgasm out of you violently, crying out into his neck as Dieter explodes into his Gucci trousers, the mixture of your slick and his thick cum making an absolute mess of his loaned suit.

I guess I'll have to pay for these, Dieter thinks to himself as he cradles your shaking form into his arms, licking away the salty tears running down your face. "You did so good, Doll, don't cry-" he whispers, stroking the back of your head as he tries to get you to calm down. "What do you need, baby?"

You lie quietly against his chest, your breaths falling into rhythm with his, as he assumes you're simply gathering your thoughts. "Baby," he pleads softly, his hands tracing soothing paths along your exposed back. "Please, say something—"

"Marry me," you whisper against his chest, the words barely audible but filled with undeniable certainty.

Dieter freezes, his heart skipping a beat at your unexpected words. For a moment, he's speechless, his mind racing to catch up with the sudden turn of events. Slowly, he lifts his head to meet your gaze, eyes wide with shock and disbelief.

"What did you say?" he breathes, his voice barely above a whisper, as if afraid that speaking any louder might shatter the fragile moment.

You lift your head, meeting Dieter's stunned gaze with unwavering determination. "I said, marry me," you repeat, your voice steady despite the racing of your heart. "Let's take this car and drive it to Vegas, get married by some overweight Elvis impersonator, and book the honeymoon suite at the Cosmo... I don't care how we do it, but let's get fucking married, D!"

Dieter's mind whirls with a mix of emotions—astonishment, disbelief, and a profound sense of joy. He blinks several times, as if trying to confirm that he's not dreaming, before a wide grin spreads across his face.

"Oh, my God," he breathes, his voice trembling with emotion. "Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes."

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thebellekeys · 1 year ago

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My 2024 bookish predictions:

The Dragon Renaissance - With more Fourth Wing sequels in the works and season 2 of HOTD coming out in the summer, I think there's a good chance dragons and dragon-shifters could become the next big thing. Maybe they'll replace the fae as the "big" fictional creature?

The Percy Jackson Renaissance - It will be in full swing, accompanied by a noticeable Greek Mythology Renaissance among locals on Twitter whose knowledge of Greek Mythology is limited to... Percy Jackson. The Hunger Games renaissance will see its last days in January/February or so.

(Poorly written) military fantasy will become popular. Again, I think this will be an unwanted side effect of Fourth Wing's popularity. But I think the Gaza Genocide and institutions endorsing Zionism will play into this as well. I thinks we're about to see a lot of military propaganda in the book world and military-themed books trending.

Dark academia will enter into the beginning stages of its flop era. I say this as someone whose blog is largely dedicated to dark academia, but with Kuang not publishing anything in 2024, with Olivie Blake's Atlas trilogy coming to an end, and ST Gibson's An Education In Malice being... not that good, I can see people moving away from dark academia by the end of the year.

Colleen Hoover will release something. I don't particularly care for this, but I can easily see it happening. She didn't release anything this year so it makes sense she may have a 2024 release (and maybe one designed to improve her reputation).

The ACOTAR series adaptation will get chopped (officially, that is).

People will become less open about enjoying smut and dark romance with all the Twitter radfem discourse and backlash against poor quality romance ruling publishing. There will also be more "discreet" book covers. There will be a lot of anti-erotica discourse.

The Nobel Prize winner will be a POC.

Rivals-to-Lovers will replace Enemies-to-Lovers as the top trope. Less hate and more competition. More academic rivals, magic rivals, popularity rivals, etc. I can see people vibing with this in 2024 instead of the "I hate you but I wanna make out with you" vibes of full-on Enemies-to-Lovers.

JK Rowling will accidentally get herself arrested and/or indicted and she'll be all White Woman about it.

George RR Martin will announce that he "intends" to publish The Winds of Winter before the end of 2025.

A former Disney/Nickelodeon/child star/boyband member will write a memoir describing their trauma and they'll thank Jeannette McCurdy for giving them the courage to do it. The revelations will be insane and unprecedented.

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lalal-99 · 8 months ago

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of being true {l.f.} | track 5

©June 2023, April 2024 by lalal-99

Lee Felix x Jung Wooyoung | trope: strangers to lovers | word count: 9.2k

Synopsis: The one that's about Felix and other pretty people.

Check Chapter Overview for complete list of warnings

Note: This is an interim chapter. You don't need to read this chapter to understand the rest of the main plot. But I advise you do, because it's just so beautiful. Truly one of the best things I have ever written. (Reposting, cause the first upload tanked...)

Tumblr works on a reblog system. Please consider reblogging this post so that it can reach more people. Thank you :)

Please don't flag as mature or repost this story - Thank You

Felix learned he was gay at the tender age of 7. That was if he were completely honest with himself.

It happened on a beautiful Sunday morning in his suburban Sydney home. He had just prepped himself a bowl of fruit loops, clad in his pyjamas with his favourite blanket in hand. That’s how he made himself a home on the sofa, turning on the TV with the volume on low so his parents wouldn’t wake. Switching through channels his parents had forbidden him to watch, he finally landed on Nickelodeon. And that’s when he saw him.

Danny.

Phantom, if that wasn’t clear already.

All the kids at school had talked about the show for weeks, raving over who they thought Danny would end up with. Sam—the sarcastic best friend—or Jazz—the cutesy love interest. Pretty, beautiful and whitty were some of the words his friends referred to them as. Felix needed to see for himself and make up his mind. If not to admire their animated beauty, at least to determine who he preferred.

Needless to say, all intentions went out the window once he saw the underdog protagonist. His hair as black as the night and his eyes as blue as the ocean minutes away from Felix’s house. And that was only the human form of one Danny Fenton. No one could have prepared Felix for the incredible looks of his super-hero alter-ego. His icy grey hair and green eyes were truly something else, and Felix was soon captivated by the fictitious character. A fabricated figure drawn with pencil, but even so the hero of his childhood.

In hindsight, Felix should have known it right then and there.

While his friends argued the show’s female characters, he fantasised protecting Amity Park alongside his idol. Telling him his deepest secrets and hugging him in glee at the end of each episode.

As he was only a child, Felix didn’t think to investigate the intensity of his affection further. He pushed it to the back of his mind. Argued that he didn’t watch the show for its romantic aspects whenever someone asked him about his prefered love interest.

Despite ignoring the nagging thought for all his childhood—oblivious to a deeper meaning behind it—it caught up with him at some point. And that point came in the form of one Cassidy Miller.

Cassidy was one of Felix’s classmates in Year 8. Upon laying eyes on him on the first day of the year, she made it her main plot point to become his girlfriend. During lunch that first day, she chose the seat next to him in the cafeteria, sharing some of her homemade snacks. As a teenage boy amid a growth spurt, he accepted with not another word of persuasion. He didn’t even consider it to be an advance of sorts. Even when his friend high-fived him after the fact, Felix understood it as an act of kindness. Cassidy was trying to make some friends after moving to town weeks prior. Nothing out of the ordinary.

It took him about three weeks of shared snacks every day and a kiss on his cheek to recognise that, yes. A girl had a crush on him. And everything would have been fine. Hadn’t it been for the slight complication that he didn’t feel the same about her. Cassidy was sweet. He would even agree that she was cute with her bunny nose and blonde locks. Conventionally attractive features for a 14-year-old girl.

Before he could break the truth to her, though, she had already introduced him to her parents. Quick, but Felix didn’t get the chance to intervene. He didn’t even know she wanted to introduce them when she asked him to follow her to the parking lot. Let alone introduce him as her boyfriend, much to her father’s dismay.

So, at the fragile age of 14, Felix found himself in a heterosexual relationship with a girl he barely knew but didn’t have the heart to break up with. As though being an unknowing closeted teenager wasn’t enough already.

That relationship, as innocent as it was, lasted 6 months. At most, it consisted of hand-holding and handwritten notes passed during class. Still, it lasted long for a first relationship Felix had no intention of having in the first place.

When Cassidy revealed that her dad had been relocated for the umpteenth time, Felix was even a little sad. She left after only 7 months, thus ending the relationship as it had begun—completely out of his control.

One should think: A closeted gay teen who just came out of a heterosexual relationship he hadn’t intended having? Definitely won’t do that again in the near future.

And that thought was fair. But wrong.

It took around 2 months after Cassidy left when Emily Wilson came into Felix’s life.

Emily was different from Cassidy in many ways. She was one year Felix’s senior, held back a year for grade-related reasons. She had black hair and a sidecut. Eyelids always painted in a thick layer of dark eyeliner which made her look at least two years older than she was. She had a nose ring her parents hadn’t allowed her to get and wore combat boots like part of a religion. Every word leaving her lips was drenched in sarcasm, which drew Felix to her right from the beginning.

It didn’t take Felix more than a few weeks to accept it. If he were to ever have a relationship with another girl, it would be a girl like Emily.

Fortunately for him, she and Cassidy had one thing in common. They were both pretty much obsessed with him from the moment they first laid eyes on him.

Whatever was drawing them to him, Felix decided that what anyone in his position would do, was make a move on Emily. Everyone in his class was obsessing over who was with whom. All his friends went from relationship to relationship in weekly rhythms. So, getting a girlfriend himself was the logical thing to do.

The 1.5 years he spent with Emily were the most fun but excruciating months of his life. Being with someone that long was hard, as much as he loved getting to know every part of her life.

He liked Emily’s parents, and they thought he had a positive influence on their daughter. But they were uber controlling and burst into her room every few minutes to check on them and what they were doing.

He adored Emily’s love for music and art. Every picture she drew for him and every mixtape she made proudly displayed in his room. But, she didn’t allow any opinions on the topics that didn’t correlate with her own. Felix’s love for Pop music? A slap in the face of a proud anti-capitalist. Felix’s one-year-anniversary plans to visit a special exhibition in the museum? Another penny in the pocket of the rich, making them even wealthier.

He fell apart at the touch of Emily’s hands and mouth. Losing his virginity to her left him breathless and in a sweaty sheen for hours. But, as much as he didn’t mind sleeping with her, he couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling. She always made the first move. And he was not only lying to himself but to her.

Their relationship was a constant back-and-forth. Liking her while not liking her enough to want a serious future. No matter how hard Felix tried, keeping up the facade became more agonising with every I love you. Eventually, Emily could tell something was eating at her boyfriend. And after 18 unforgettable months together, she finally had enough. She left him with usual harsh words and exhausted tears of relief in his eyes.

Even then, as the doubt and exhaustion finally reached the front lobe of his brain, it took him a couple more years and 3 more relationships to come to terms with reality.

Felix was gay and wouldn’t continue lying to everyone around him.

Well, except for his parents, who, despite living in a modern country, had different values. They weren’t particularly homophobic, though they approached the movement with ignorance. That’s other people. That would never happen to us.

Thankfully, by the time Felix realised he would never be content in a heterosexual relationship, he had already set his eyes on further education abroad. And once he finished High School, he was already packed and ready to head overseas to live as his true self.

Never in a million years had Felix expected to live that true self so early in this new chapter of his life. He had barely set foot onto campus when he bumped into a guy on his way out of the physiology building. Felix almost lost balance but the man grabbed his biceps, delicate fingers steadying him against himself. That’s when he met the guy’s gaze. Beautiful mahogany, surrounded by a sheen of gold eyeliner. Which only made them sparkle even further than Felix was sure they already did. His hair died in layers of blonde and black, ears adorned by so many earrings he couldn’t have counted them. And that cheeky smile on his lips made Felix want to taste him right then and there.

Instead, Felix pulled away, smoothing his t-shirt out as he hugged his bag closer to himself. It gave his hands something to do while hiding the semi he sported. From a short-lived, innocent physical contact, but nonetheless.

“You good?” the guy asked, and Felix nodded, eyes wide as though he had seen a ghost. The man swiped his thumb over his plumb bottom lip with a smirk and a wink as he brushed past Felix. “Next time, keep your eyes on what’s important. Alright, Pretty?”

Pretty. Felix subconsciously nodded at the words as the man rounded the corner with another look back. He remained still for approximately minutes before he shook himself to snap out of it.

And that could have been it. A short, embarrassing moment like he had had so many times before. But that wasn’t Felix’s luck.

God screamed You should see your face at Felix when he entered his Psychology 101 class days later. The same boy stood by the entrance, talking to another guy who looked a little too good in his pink hair.

Felix skimmed past him, feeling the man’s gaze trained on his back as he wordlessly sat between two girls. Anything so he wasn’t exposed to the man’s enticing presence. Making his heart race like that of an untouched virgin.

That’s when Felix diagnosed: He might not be as ready to live his true self as he had thought.

The decision to take his time exploring his identity was easily made. Yet, the pledge lasted only 4 days.

“Hi, man! How’s it going?”

The first thing Felix noticed about the man in front of Jisung was the age difference.

Jisung might have been Felix’s age phsyically, but he usually carried himself with a heightened sense of maturity. His long-term girlfriend definitely was the cause for that, so much the countless dirty jokes had told Felix.

Jackson, on the contrary, had a sense of wiseness to him. He must have made many a experience that still awaited Felix and Jisung. What exactly made Felix feel like that, he couldn’t pinpoint. Although it likely wasn’t the baggy clothing or the Gucci snapback. Jackson must have come from money, was all Felix took away from them. And if it weren’t for Jackson’s clothing, the golden earrings and chain around his neck would have said as much.

“I’m alright. The workload already has me in a chokehold. But I’ll manage,” Jisung joked with his old friend before turning to Felix. “Jackson, this is my roommate, Felix. Felix, Jackson.”

“Nice to meet you!” Jackson greeted him as he pulled him into a bro-hug. The first of many, Felix was sure.

“Likewise.”

“So, already swimming in the workload? If it’s too much already, I wouldn’t advise picking Medicine as a Major. I was studying until the second the first guests arrived. And I will continue the moment the house is empty.”

A future doctor? Jackson? Definitely not what Felix had expected, but he didn’t know the guy. All he could go from was the first impression. He knew better than to judge from that alone.

“I’ll keep that in mind. You should tell Y/N before she suggests I also become a doctor.”

“She’s still not giving up on you picking a Major, huh?”

“I swear it’s everything she talked about the past two months.” Felix looked around the place, trying his hardest to ignore the words coming from his friend. It wasn’t like he knew everything about their relationship, nor was he picking sides in this debate. But hearing Jisung talk behind her back like that? It filled him with slight unease. “I love her, but it’s annoying.”

“You probably don’t want to hear it, but she has a point.”

Again, not what Felix had expected from Jackson. Taking Y/N’s side like that.

“There’s nothing wrong with taking a semester to figure things out, but you’ll have to pick one eventually.” Jackson could tell from Jisung’s expression that this wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “But...” Jackson opened three beer bottles from the sink before handing two of them over to Felix and Jisung. “That’s a conversation for tomorrow. Or next week. Right now, we party.”

“Hell, yeah!” Jisung agreed with a cheer before toasting the other two and downing half his bottle.

Felix took a sip, face scrunching at the bitter aftertaste of the liquid. He had never quite grown accustomed to the flavour of beer, his tastebuds preferring vodka or rum. Anything that mixed well with soft drinks.

While Jackson and Jisung chatted away like two estranged friends (which, for as much as Felix had understood, they were), Felix’s gaze wandered through the doorway into the living room. The house gradually filled with young students—some yet sober, some already intoxicated. Felix started appreciating Jisung by his side, so he didn’t have to approach this situation alone. Even if Jisung, right now, was ignoring his presence for his old friend.

Distracted by the loud music, Felix took a few steps out of the kitchen, when suddenly, he got knocked off his feet. Or at least almost.

He would have planted his face straight into the tiled flooring hadn’t it been for a set of delicate fingers coming to his biceps and steadying him. And if it weren’t already a complete recap of his encounter on the first day, Felix met the same mahogany eyes yet again.

Sweet, sweet irony.

The guy recognised him soon enough, a smirk appearing on his beautiful face. How he could be so enticing and cheeky without saying a word was beyond Felix.

“We have to stop meeting like this.”

Invisible strings drew Felix’s eyes to the man’s face, hanging on the way his lips moved whenever he spoke. He was in total awe of how someone could sound so sweet while having the fucking confidence of a... Well, if Felix had to name it, he would have called it fuckboy. Although, he didn’t want to judge a book by its cover. Even if this particular book was extremely easy on the eyes.

“You good?”

“Huh?”

“I asked you if you were alright.”

“Oh, of course. Yes, I’m good.”

“Good.” And there it was again. That stupid smirk made Felix feel things he didn’t know he had the mental capacity to feel. Emotions he had prayed to feel for Cassidy, Emily, Tina and all the others, he instead felt for some stranger the second he laid eyes on him. Like a complete loser. “You’re Felix, right?”

Eyebrows raising at the sound of his name from the stranger’s mouth, Felix swallowed thickly. “Yes. How do you know?”

“We have Psychology 101 together.” The first non-flirtatious words coming from the man, though that didn’t last long. “And I always remember the pretty faces.”

Pretty. That word, again, made Felix’s stomach churn and his pants tighten. Internally, he scolded himself for being so new to this that the simple compliment could affect him like this.

“I’m—You—Erm—” Felix stumbled over his thoughts pathetically. The stranger’s eyes kept running over all Felix’s features and he was very aware of it. He must have thought Felix was an utter basket-case. If he wanted to keep the last bit of pride, he had to get it together. Quick. “What’s your name?”

“Ouch,” the guy said as he placed his hand over a heart in mock hurt. “And here I hoped you had paid as much attention to me as I did you.”

What now? He had paid attention to Felix? When? How long? And why? Was this all part of a play, or was he kidding? Felix didn’t know what to think.

“I—I’m sorry.”

“No worries. I’m messing with you.” A breath of relief escaped Felix’s lips as he hoped the guy didn’t notice. “I’m Wooyoung. Nice to make your acquaintance.”

“You, too,” Felix replied with the first smile in approximately hours.

“So, Felix. Now that I saved your life twice, what do you say we have a drink? It’s on me.”

Felix laughed at the joke as he pushed a strand of his blonde hair behind his ear.

“I already have one,” Felix explained, holding up the beer towards Wooyoung.

“Beer? You’re one of those guys?” Wooyoung asked with a sarcastic undertone, making Felix blush as he eyed the brown bottle.

“Actually, no. I never liked beer.” Placing the almost full bottle on the counter, he let Wooyoung guide him around the counter. A display of countless different liquors met them in a broad array.

“What’s your poison? Vodka? Gin?” Wooyoung questioned as he grabbed two red cups from the stack.

“Rum, actually.” The slight smile on Wooyoung flustered Felix as he hoped he hadn’t somehow made a fool of himself. Again. “What?”

“Nothing,” Wooyoung shrugged as he filled the two cups with a quarter rum before topping them off with coke. “I just know how to pick ‘em.” Felix didn’t know what he was hinting at, so he only smiled once Wooyoung handed him his drink. “To new acquaintances.”

“Yes. Acquaintances.”

With that, they toasted and took a sip each. The mixture of Captain Morgan and Coke gave Felix a sweet aftertaste. Much more comfortable than the beer had done, and he returned the smile Wooyoung sent him.

This whole situation was rather new to Felix. He had never been to a party like this. Single, that was. He never had the chance to meet someone on the go in a similar situation, and that reality filled him with unease. Despite having only met the guy, Felix wanted Wooyoung to like him. Whether that was a like in the we’ll become good friends sense or the give me all of you kinda way.

For a moment, Felix felt he was getting ahead of himself. He had met Wooyoung a few minutes ago. For all he knew, being flirtatious could have been engraved in his personality. Felix had arrived at campus mere days ago and even pledged to ease himself into this new, true identity. He definitely shouldn’t rush it.

As fast as he remembered that pledge he had taken, the memory evaporated. Wooyoung’s hand touched his hip, pulling him slightly closer, in front of everyone. Including his roommate and Jackson—two people he had no idea how they’d react to finding out his deepest secret. A secret he had never told anyone, on top of that.

“So, Felix—” Looking around the room, Felix soon realised that Jisung had left, and so had Jackson. A bunch of random people were running around, albeit ignoring the two guys in the corner, throwing googly eyes at each other. That realisation relaxed him almost entirely. “What’s your deal?”

Felix’s eyes met Wooyoung’s lips as he licked his own, a little nervous in the presence of someone so beautiful still. “What do you mean?”

“Are you, like, single? Hetero? Better tell me now before I fall for another straight guy.”

For someone so—unfamiliar, Felix felt himself drawn to anything Wooyoung did. Much more than he ever had with any of his ex-girlfriends. Sure, Felix was nervous around him, his hands shaking so heavily, he feared he’d spill his drink on the guy. At least some blame laid on his inexperience, blood rushing through his system like it was racing against itself. How was Wooyoung so self-assured and head-on anyways?

“I don’t know what to say.”

That was the truth. Felix had no idea how to answer such a straightforward question. Especially since he hadn’t said the words I am gay out loud, ever. Not even to himself. Expressing his personality to a stranger, out of all people, felt so out of place for him. Although he couldn’t deny the unmistakable magnetism pulling him towards Wooyoung.

“That’s okay. Because I know.”

The fingers at Felix’s hips dug into his flesh a little fiercer as Wooyoung closed in, breath hitting Felix’s cheek. Everything around him slowed in motion as his gaze switched from Wooyoung’s eyes to his lips, unsure of what to do or how to act. Would this be his first kiss with a man? With a stranger? In front of all these people? Tipsy from two unfinished drinks and Wooyoung’s presence alone?

“You do?” It took him a few seconds to finally reply, the tension becoming too much, too fast. “Maybe you can tell me. Because I have no fucking idea.”

Wooyoung laughed out loud at his words; a hearty laugh which sounded much like heaven to Felix. Some of the tension vanished as he took another deep breath and a long sip from his drink.

“And he’s funny, too. Damn, I really do know how to pick ‘em.”

The words made Felix blush as he averted his gaze towards the floor.

“I tell you what,” Wooyoung retracted his hands as his softening gaze met Felix’s anxious one. He must have noticed Felix’s unsure aura, torn between wanting to experience whatever Wooyoung had in mind and taking it slow. Felix had never been this happy about his expressional features. “How about you figure out what your deal is first? And when you do, come find me.”

As much as those words took the pressure off, Felix couldn’t deny the hint of disappointment pulling at his mood. He wanted to try and get him to close the proximity again, feeling cold after Wooyoung had pulled away. Sneakers screeching against the tiles soon captured their attention, rendering the moment gone. Felix recognised the owner as the same guy Wooyoung had been sitting next to in class. How could he have forgotten the bright pink hair and features as sharp as a fox’s?

“Dude, you gotta come watch this,” the guy exclaimed as he came over, dragging Wooyoung away by his hand. “Mingi is trying to do a keg-stand. It’s fucking hilarious. Like a giraffe trying to… well, do a kegstand.”

“No way!” With one last wink that made Felix’s knees weak, Wooyoung ran after his friend and out of Felix’s vision. It took him a few desperate moments to steady himself, hands still trembling from the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

Felix turned around, one, to tighten his grip around the counter and regain his balance, and two, conceal the boner which his pants did nothing to hide. His mind kept racing back to the proximity, the touches. The flirtatious words of a guy he barely knew but, at the same time, felt like he wanted to know everything about. The distance allowed him to realised how fast everything had played out. And while he feared it had happened all too fast, he couldn’t help but want to skip forward even further.

Perhaps, it was that he was desperate to finally get a taste of what he had denied himself for years. Crushes, love, passion. Everything his girlfriends had felt, but he never quite managed to. Making mistakes and gaining experience. Anything eventually leading him to alwaysness. With whomever that might be.

Although, right now, he wanted to have a sense of it with one particular person.

Two excruciating hours later, Felix found himself in the living area of the frat house. He had thought back to the moment in the kitchen so many times he could hardly count them. Not to mention how often he had gotten semi-hard thinking about Wooyoung’s breath against his cheek. His hands on his hips. And his words in his ear.

How about you figure out what your deal is first? And when you do, come find me.

But what if there was nothing to figure out? What if Felix already knew what he wanted and what his deal was? What if the only thing keeping him from acting on it was his inexperience?

All those what if’s jogging through Felix’s brain didn’t change anything. All he wanted—truly wanted at the moment—was to drag Wooyoung into the nearest closet and make him feel good. Have Wooyoung make him feel good. Whatever the guy was up for, honestly. Felix had spent the better part of two decades pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Now that he had a fresh start, he desired to finally be his true self.

It took him not 20 minutes longer until he decided that enough was enough.

Y/N, Yuqi and Changbin had left a while ago to play Truth or Drink in the kitchen, leaving Felix with a group of random boys. Sure, it was a group of boys he considered his closest friends on campus, but right now, they appeared so boring. Especially with a much more intriguing person, throwing him suggestive winks from the other end of the room.

How he had even noticed Wooyoung in the sea of drunk students was beyond him. Though Felix had no brain capacity left for the whys and hows. Wooyoung was sipping on his drink, playing with the straw about as suggestively as Felix had seen anyone do. Biting at the short fingernail of his pinky, Felix already felt the excitement nagging at his gut. The combination of clothes, alcohol and arousal ran him so very hot.

Wooyoung’s pink-haired friend didn’t notice he wasn’t paying him the slightest hint of attention. How ever important their conversation was, Felix couldn’t bring himself to care. This whole back and forth went on for a few minutes when Felix finally couldn’t take it anymore.

Without a word to his friends he got up from his seat, eyes drawn to the beautiful tempter at the other side of the room. Once Wooyoung recognised the intention behind Felix’s approach, he left his friend for the stairs.

The sway in his hips had Felix’s whole attention as he followed him upstairs, always a few steps behind to not alert the surrounding couples. As though they weren’t completely immersed in their make-outs and other grindings.

Once at the upper end of the staircase, Felix looked around to find the hallway empty. Someone must have ensured the private rooms remained private, and usually, this would have been the end of his path. Though the confidence in Wooyoung’s step encouraged Felix to push that to the deepest part of his brain.

His movements stayed cautious until he reached the end of the hall, entering the last room on the left. Felix took a deep breath as he closed the door and turned around. Not a second went by until he noticed the man on one of the two beds, drink long forgotten on one of the desks.

“Hi.” With no hint of pressure in his voice, Wooyoung watched Felix fidgeting by the door.

“Hi.”

Silence took over the room as Felix realised why Wooyoung wasn’t being his usual flirty self. Understanding how he had some reservations still, he left every decision up to Felix. It gave him a sense of security, understanding that if he didn’t want anything to happen, nothing would. Even if they were on their own in a small room, veiled in tension thick enough to cut with a spoon.

With that sense of total security in mind, Felix took a shaky step forward.

“So—” His voice broke as he regretted not bringing his drink. He felt the deep desire for something to cool his system, easing the lump in his throat. “I figured out what my deal is. And I’m coming to you, like you said.”

“Good.” The smile on Wooyoung’s face was as non-suggestive as he had ever seen, further soothing his tense body. “Do you mind sharing with me?”

“No. I will.” Taking another deep breath, Felix looked to the ceiling as he brought his hand to his stiff shoulders.

This was the moment. Felix would say the words out loud for the first time. Reality would hit, and there would be no escaping it anymore.

Fortunately, Felix didn’t want to run from it any longer.

“I’m single. And, I’m—”

Say it! He won’t judge. Just spit it out!

“I’m gay.”

“Okay.”

Okay. Okay? Despite the simplicity of the word, pure relief overcame Felix, body slumping as exhaustion blurred his vision. He was gay, and it was okay.

The next breath through a watery veil of happiness and alleviation felt like the first one he had ever taken.

“Oh my God, did I say something wrong?” Wooyoung hurried over to Felix’s trembling body as he wrapped his protective arms around him. Felix’s hands clung to the man’s shirt, face pressed into the crook of his neck as he let himself be held. Nothing more. Just held and accepted.

“No. Nothing wrong.” The whispered words reached Wooyoung’s ear within milliseconds. “All the right words. But—”

He stopped, pondering for a few seconds whether to confide in someone he hardly knew. A man who had nothing but shamelessly flirted with him for all 20 minutes of aggregated conversation. But he was here right now. And Felix needed to let him know how much he had already done for him.

Also, he was bawling into the guy’s shirt. It could hardly get much more intimate than this, anyways.

“I never said it out loud.”

“Oh… Oh!”

The realisation hit Wooyoung like a bus as he further fastened his comforting grip on Felix. It all made sense to him now. The insecurity. The uncomfortable tension whenever he said anything below the belt. The silence following the question of what his deal was. And here Wooyoung was, thinking he was yet again barking up the wrong tree. As it turned out, he had finally found the right tree, though it hadn’t bloomed yet.

“Fuck. I’m sorry I came on so strong. It just… I thought you were cute, but then I wasn’t so sure if you felt the same way. I assumed you might be one of those straight guys who aren’t so straight after a few drinks. So, I went all in to skip all that will-they-won’t-they crap. Wouldn’t have been the first time I was utterly disappointed at the end of the day.”

He had only tried to feel Felix out and learn if he himself could get hurt. Evidently, neither of them was trying nor intending to play games with the other.

“You didn’t come on too strong. I mean, you kinda did. But I liked it.”

As they drew away from each other, light laughter filled the room. Wooyoung’s arms were still circled around Felix’s waist as they stared into each other’s eyes. Their smiles soon faded as they recognised their proximity. When Wooyoung’s hands reclaimed their position on his hip, Felix’s stomach erupted in sheer excitement. The sentimentality of the moment was ultimately broken by his arousal.

“You like this, too. I can feel it,” Wooyoung pointed out with a smile as he squeezed Felix’s sides once, making him jump a little. “Knew it.”

“Fine. I like it.”

“So, you never told anyone you’re gay. Does that mean you just found out yourself? Or did you always know on some level and try to fit into a pair of shoes that weren’t yours?”

“A little of both. Like, I used to crush on Danny Phantom so hard it surprises me my parents never caught on. But then again, I had many girlfriends in Middle and High School.”

Wooyoung explored Felix’s cheeks and nose where freckles decorated him in beautiful patterns.

“You’ve never been with a guy then?”

Felix shook his head as his gaze met Wooyoung’s inviting, plump lips. In his subconscious, he grazed his teeth against them, the intimacy of the moment turning the corners of his mouth upwards. The closer Felix got to him, the sexier he found him to be.

“But you want to be?”

This time, Felix nodded. Never had he been more sure than while looking at the most beautiful man he had ever seen. So close he could almost taste him. And if that wasn’t sign enough already, the prominent tent in his pants at the simple touch of his hips assured him.

He wanted Wooyoung, more than he had ever wanted anyone else.

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more.”

“That’s good. I can work with that.”

Leaning in their eyes met as Felix took in what was happening. Like the romance novel moment he had always dreamed of, seconds turned minutes, and moments turned into a lifeline. And then, finally, after hours of distant pining, Wooyoung closed the gap between them.

Now, Felix had kissed many people before. Cassidy, at 14, under the old cherry tree in his backyard while reading his favourite anime. Emily at 15 in more places than he could remember. And many others since. Girls, exclusively.

Though right now, as he tasted Wooyoung for the first time it finally dawned on him. The sweetness of his scent, the rum on his lips and the coke in his breath. This was what a kiss should feel like. This was what desire was supposed to feel like.

They deepened the kiss, tongues brushing lips, and Felix reached for Wooyoung’s neck. He ran his hands through the man’s hair, mouths moving in unison as silent whimpers escaped his lips. When Wooyoung pulled away, it was to catch his breath while also searching for a hint of regret in Felix’s features. When he couldn’t find anything but lust, he smirked, reconnecting his lips to the other’s.

Hands clawed at and bodies moved against one another as desperate whines filled the room. Mainly Felix’s, but who could blame him? Every single one of Wooyoung’s movements was the perfect calculation. He knew through and through what he was doing. Wooyoung clawed at Felix, pulling him into his body and providing his aching erection with much-needed friction. Semi-aroused for the better part of the evening, finally, he got relief from the discomfort.

Pulling Felix’s hair and tipping his head back, Wooyoung’s lips moved to the side of his neck. All the while, Felix kept his hands in Wooyoung’s hair, pulling him even closer and not letting him go.

“Fuck…” Felix slurred when the other sucked at his skin, trying to mark him for later. In the past, he hated having hickeys on his neck. Others knowing he had made out with his girlfriend had always made him uncomfortable. With Wooyoung, he couldn’t deny that he loved the thought of people knowing he belonged to someone. Or at least had done so for a brief moment in time.

Wooyoung’s hands fisted Felix’s shirt as he inched it up before checking in with the blonde, “Is this okay?”

“Yes. Please, take it off already.”

“Getting hot?” Wooyoung asked with a smirk, getting his answer once Felix nodded with a thick swallow. “Good.”

Once the fabric landed on the floor, Wooyoung lingered to take in the view. He had expected many things from the closeted nerdy boy, but not this. Not a full-on six-pack, tensing as he let his fingertips wander over his hot skin.

“Damn. Who would have thought?” The thoughts leaving Wooyoung’s brain without a filter made Felix blush. It was one thing, hearing how well-built he was from someone else. But someone he deemed the hottest person he had ever laid eyes on? That did something to him alright. And when Wooyoung leaned down to let his perky tongue run over the bulges, that did a whole other thing to him.

“Fuck… More, please.”

“Patience. I have a lot more to give you,” Wooyoung told him with a smirk as he pushed Felix onto the mattress and sank to his knees. This view was heavenly, straight out of a porno, and Felix felt like he was dreaming again. The whole situation was surreal.

Looking up at the blond, Wooyoung pulled him down for another kiss before focusing on his pecs. He took his sweet time worshipping Felix’s chest, his nipples and abs. Electric shocks rushed straight through Felix’s spine towards the top of his head. Wooyoung couldn’t get enough, spending a few extra seconds kissing his abdominal muscles until a layer of spit and sweat covered them.

“Please…” The silent prayer escaped Felix like a mantra. He’d come in his pants if Wooyoung didn’t do something soon and that was definitely not how he wanted this first time to end. Bad enough his first first time (a few years ago with Emily in the backseat of his father’s Toyota) had ended that way. Another taste of that embarrassment would have been too much to overcome.

“You think you’re ready for this?”

“I was born ready. Just— do something, please.”

“Oh, I’ll be doing much more than just something.”

Wooyoung opened Felix’s pants, dragging them over his thighs and towards the floor. Once the jeans had gone, Felix noticed he was almost entirely naked while Wooyoung was far from it. Without a second thought, he pulled the man’s shirt up, and over his head. To even it out, if you will. Now, not only their bodies but their pure skin was connecting. No restraints, no barriers. Only the two of them.

“I’m gonna go slow, okay? Let me know if you want me to do something different.”

As sweet as Felix identified the assurance to be, it was much unneeded. The second Wooyoung pulled him out of his briefs—tip red and leaking—he licked a thick stripe up the underside. That’s when Felix knew this would be excruciating in the best way immaginable.

Wooyoung worked him with so much knowledge and understanding of the male anatomy. It felt like he was inside Felix’s body, metaphorically. He knew exactly where to lick, where to suck and how to work him so he would fall apart below him. Felix’s eyes stayed glued to the beauty, watching him suck on his length and take him down his throat. As though he had never done anything else.

The past blowjobs Felix had received—which there were quite a few, thanks to his charming personality and sweet looks—had been good. He couldn’t lie that he had enjoyed every one of them, though it had never been this mind-numbing. Wooyoung had a technique to his movements only someone with a dick could come up with. Someone who had experienced many a blowjob first-hand— Felix was sure of that.

Spit slid down his length as Wooyoung navigated him deeper with each thrust, hands pumping what he couldn’t fit. His eyes filled with utter and total lust, gazes meeting when he looked up at Felix with a blurriness to his vision. It was a sight Felix had never seen—so pretty and feral. Enough to make him burst on the spot.

However, he couldn’t let that happen.

Felix’s hand on Wooyoung’s cheek urged him to let him fall from his mouth, cock glistening in a beautiful glow. He leaned down and connected their mouths as he tasted himself on Wooyoung’s tongue. Never had he tasted so delicious.

“Good?” Wooyoung asked as though he hadn’t made Felix see stars. Right now, he wasn’t sure he could ever feel as good again.

“So, so good.”

They shared a short moment of silence while Felix scooted back on the bed until he reached the headboard. Wooyoung situated himself above Felix’s lap as they continued their heated make-out session.

Felix admired Wooyoung’s broad chest and sculptured pecs while he planted wet kisses against his jaw. With as much confidence as Wooyoung presented, Felix wasn’t surprised his beauty continued past his face. Although he was still in awe of the perfect piece of art that was Wooyoung’s body. So chiselled, so muscular, so masculine. A dream come true in the most literal sense.

Delicate fingers ran over Felix’s stomach and snapped him out of his daydream. His abs tightened when he felt Wooyoung reach back and wrap his digits around his length.

“Oh, God.” Wooyoung seemed to enjoy the teasing too much, a triumphant grin on his features at the heightened reactivity in Felix’s expression. “Please. I— God.”

The grunt leaving Felix was nothing short of animalistic as Wooyoung’s thumbed over the head.

“You were saying?”

“I need you. Please.”

Bringing his hands back to his front, Wooyoung ended every direct skin contact to Felix. The loss of the physical component refocused all their senses while the fog in their brains lifted a little.

“You sure you want your first time to be drunk at a frat party?”

Felix appreciated Wooyoung’s caution, heart swelling as he wondered how he had deserved someone so considerate. A stranger, yes, but the most respectful one. However, this was hardly his first time. His body count filled all of one five-fingered hand. And even though this felt different, he was well aware of the vulnerability he exposed himself to.

“First of all, I’m not that drunk. See?” Felix straightened up as he positioned his pointer fingers at the corners of his peripheral vision. Bringing them together to touch right before his nose, he proofed his hypothesis. Much to Wooyoung’s amusement, who giggled at the adorable action. “Second, this isn’t my first time. I’ve done this before. With girls, yes. But I know what I’m getting myself into. And third, I really fucking want you to fuck me. Like yesterday.”

Opening up to Wooyoung seemed so easy after he had literally sucked his cock mere moments earlier. The guy’s sweet personality made it much easier for Felix to voice his wishes. He was sure about this.

Apparently, Wooyoung understood so much.

“Okay. But only under one condition.” Wooyoung’s fingers ran between Felix’s pecs and down his adonis belt. “You are the one doing the fucking this time. I have nothing to prep you with, and you want your first time to be slow, believe me. Ergo, you’re topping.”

“Alright,” Felix gave in with a laugh. If that’s what Wooyoung wanted to do, then Felix was content with being the penetrator rather than the penetrated. He also couldn’t deny the skip of his heartbeat when Wooyoung suggested there would be a second time. “One more thing. What’s topping?”

Eyes widening in amusement, Wooyoung couldn’t help but giggle at the younger’s words. “God, you’re innocent. Good thing you have me to show you everything you need to know.”

Rolling off Felix’s body, Wooyoung rid himself of his remaining clothes— jeans and underwear landing on top of Felix’s pile. With his free hand, Wooyoung reached for the nightstand and rummaged through its content with a hopeful expression.

“Come on, San-ie. Don’t disappoint me right now.” After a few seconds, his face lit up while he pulled lube and a condom from the drawer. “Do I know my best friend or what?”

“San. Is that the pink-haired guy?”

“Yup. I dyed it myself. You like it?” Wooyoung asked as he handed Felix the condom.

“It suits him well.” He rolled the piece of latex over himself with vigour while Wooyoung opened the lube and began spreading it between his cheeks. “So, this is his room? He doesn’t mind us using his bed?”

“Oh, I’m counting on it. San used mine so often, with so many different women, he should be paying half of my rent.” Felix chuckle was dark, eyes focusing on Wooyoung once he was back on top of him. “But enough about him.”

Felix’s eyes ran down Wooyoung’s naked form as he felt himself twitch against thin air. For a few rose-coloured seconds, he let himself enjoy the view of a beautiful man on top of him. His hands roamed over the older’s thighs, feeling the texture of his smooth, sun-kissed skin. He could have spent hours exploring every crevice of Wooyoung’s body.

In the dim lightening of the room, Wooyoung looked ethereal, muscular statue and pretty face only further continued in the shape of his cock. In no porn had Felix ever seen someone so enchanting, mouth watering at the mere sight of his erection. As much as Wooyoung had focused on him within the previous moments, Felix couldn’t shake the need to do the same for him. His own arousal pushed past its limits by the thought of making Wooyoung feel good.

Hands wandering further up his thighs, Felix soon reached the base of his dick. With one questioning look followed by an agreeing hum, Felix finally touched him.

He went slow at first, testing the waters and Wooyoung’s reactions to figure out what he liked. It took him not a minute to do so. Working Wooyoung the same way he worked himself in moments of privacy did the trick. It almost came natural to him as he collected the guy’s pre-cum to smear it over his length, hand pumping from base to tip in short, rhythmic motions.

“Fuck. You’re so pretty.”

The words were as much unsolicited as they were unintentional, though Wooyoung enjoyed the compliment. A blush appeared on his cheeks as he closed the gap, pushing his hungry mouth against Felix’s.

“How about you fuck me and see how much prettier I can become.”

Felix, yet again, felt himself twitch at the crudeness of the words, proving to himself that, yes. He might have a thing for dirty talk. Though that realisation was for another day to explore. With his bottom lip between his teeth, Wooyoung shimmied down his body until he reached his lap. Squirting some of the lube onto his palm, Wooyoung lost no time to massage it into Felix’s length.

“Ready?”

“God, yes.”

As Wooyoung sunk all the way to complete fullness, Felix realised that was a lie. He could have never prepared for the feeling of Wooyoung’s snug hole, so much tighter than anything he had ever felt around himself before. His hands flew to the older’s thighs as he moved up and down and steadied himself by clawing his nails into Felix’s skin.

“Fuck, you’re tight.”

“You have no idea how amazing you feel,” Wooyoung agreed with a moan, hands resting on Felix’s stomach for support. “You think you can move? Meet me in the middle?”

“I don’t even know if I can breathe right now.”

His words were met with a giggle, though despite his inability to think, Felix lifted his hip up to meet him. Moving against gravity was more demanding than he had anticipated, but the look of pure bliss on Wooyoung’s face made it worthwhile.

He definitely hadn’t lied when he said he’d become even prettier while fucked out.

They soon found a rhythm that was comfortable for either. Still, Felix knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Not when Wooyoung caressed all his senses so perfectly, eyes, ears, hands, mouth and mind filled with nothing but him. The world stood still around them, entirely immersed in the moment.

One particularly sharp thrust poked Felix’s attention, tip hitting a spot within Wooyoung that made him throw his head back with a whimper. His body trembled under Felix’s palms, abdominal muscles pulling Wooyoung forward and crouching over the younger. At first, Felix believed whatever he had done had hurt Wooyoung. Once the older opened his eyes—gaze veiled in animalistic hunger—Felix understood it wasn’t a grunt of pain.

“Was that…”

“My prostate? Fuck, yes.” Stilling on top of him, Wooyoung needed to rest for a second. Right when he took up his previous movements, Felix fell back into the same rhythm. Five thrusts in, the same thing happened again, though Wooyoung didn’t stop this time. To say that the sight was divine would have been a crude understatement. “Fuck… Touch me, baby. Please!”

The first time Wooyoung begged him for something—rather than the other way around—Felix identified another new kink. This was all new anyways, and Wooyoung still unleashed underlying desires Felix hadn’t even known existed.

Felix’s hands flew to Wooyoung’s dick, stroking it in unison with his thrusts. And like that, the older fell apart on top of him.

Felix had only ever seen a man cum through the screen of his laptop. It had seemed so fake, the whimpering and grunting way too excessive to be genuine. Or so he thought.

When Wooyoung hit his high, he completely slumped with a groan in Felix’s ear as he released onto his stomach. Hot spurts painted his abs in white, running between the crevices and towards his navel—and there was so much of it. Felix wasn’t quite sure if this was still considered healthy.

Despite being in a state of utter bliss, Wooyoung kept moving, dragging out his orgasm and urging Felix towards his own. The sight and noises would have gotten him there as was. The added pleasure of Wooyoung’s tired hole clenching and his intense eyes eventually launched him into his sweet, sweet release.

Panting beside each other, they tried catching their breaths for a few minutes. It could have been hours, for all Felix cared. He couldn’t have been trusted with anything right now, not even telling the time.

At some point, Felix cleaned himself before reclaiming his position under Wooyoung, with the older’s head propped on his chest.

“That was…”

“Yeah.”

Chuckling filled the room as their gazes fixated on the ceiling. Wooyoung pressed kisses against Felix’s chest on occasion, a sweet gesture that was much appreciated. The longer they remained entangled, listening to each other’s breathing, the faster Felix’s mind spun. The kissing, the tension, the desire. Everything was so fresh in his mind but, at the same time, felt so far away. He couldn’t deny that after finally figuring out why everyone was so obsessed with sex, he couldn’t wait to experience it again.

Wooyoung figured Felix’s mind out with one short look at his lap.

“You’re still hard.”

It wasn’t so much still as it was again, his body visibly not done yet despite having reached a peak minutes ago.

“Because you’re still pretty.”

The explanation forced Wooyoung’s cheeks into another blush as he kissed Felix, softer this time but just as passionate. Climbing back on top of him, Wooyoung nipped at Felix’s bruised neck, making him moan at the mix of pain and pleasure.

“That’s gonna be a bitch to cover up tomorrow,” Wooyoung recognised with a giggle as his gaze met Felix’s. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright. I like having a visual reminder for the next few days.”

“Well, if that’s so…”

Trailing off, Wooyoung leaned back down, sucking on Felix’s chest. A red bruise appeared within seconds of him biting and licking over the flesh, Felix holding him close by his hair to keep him going. Any direct skin contact Wooyoung gave him Felix couldn’t get enough of. He wanted to live in this moment for as long as possible.

The fire in his stomach reignited when the older licked over his nipples, swirling the buds between his lips. The shock waves coursing through Felix reached his cock, which twitched in excitement.

Yup, he definitely wasn’t done for today.

While Wooyoung kissed his way all over Felix’s chest, the younger reentered heaven. He couldn’t help but ponder what else there was he hadn’t tried yet. Like giving blowjobs. Or whatever the antonym of topping was. He couldn’t quite wait to figure it out, although some higher power forced patience on him.

Felix wanted to ask Wooyoung if he could taste him, but he didn’t get there. Before anything else could happen, the door to the room opened with a creek, and Felix’s head snapped up. His eyes darted to the entrance, shock written on his face as his gaze met the intruder’s.

He couldn’t quite tell whether you had recognised him. Although the lighting most likely wasn’t dark enough to shield his identity. You must have identified him. But he couldn’t react fast enough. As soon as you had appeared, you muttered a perplexed “I’m sorry” and pulled the door shut. Leaving Felix with only fear and a hard-on he wasn’t so sure would find any true relief for the rest of the night

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awhorrerstory · 2 years ago

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Stay

Madison Montgomery x f! Reader

Warnings: Smut per usual,Soft Madison, a lot of non-canon fanfic. Madison tops

It’s been a while but I’ve been going through some stuff, hope you guys enjoy the stories!

🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

As the cameras started rolling, I couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nerves. This was my big break, my chance to shine as a child actor on a popular Nickelodeon show.

I had been cast as the best friend of Madison Montgomery, a famous child actress who I had always admired on tv. I couldn't believe that I was going to be working alongside her, but as soon as we met, I realized that things weren't going to be as easy as I had hoped.

Madison acted like she hated me. She barely spoke to me when we were off-set, and when we were filming, she would roll her eyes and make snarky comments under her breath. It was like she couldn't stand to be around me, and I had no idea why. I tried my best to be friendly and approachable, but nothing seemed to work. It was like Madison had already made up her mind about me, and nothing I did could change that.

But then, something unexpected happened. We were filming a scene where Madison's character was supposed to comfort mine after a tough day at school, and I don't know if it was the emotion of the scene or what, but something clicked between us.

All of a sudden, Madison was opening up to me, telling me about her own struggles as a child actor and how hard it was to maintain friendships when you're constantly in the public eye. And as she spoke, I couldn't help but feel my heart beating faster.

It was then that I realized that my crush on Madison wasn't just a crush. I had real feelings for her, and I didn't know what to do about it.

But Madison seemed to be in denial about her own feelings. She still acted mean towards me, but I noticed small changes in her behavior. She would glance at me when she thought I wasn't looking, or touch my arm lightly when we were filming intimate scenes. We were both girls, and we were both confused about our sexuality. But I couldn't deny the way I felt, and I knew that Madison was struggling with her own emotions as well.

As the season progressed, we grew closer and closer, both on and off set. Madison brought me to dinner with her parents and brought me to the sets of a few films she was in. She had many relationships with guys and I never approved but just tried to be happy for her but we’d always argue more when she was dating someone. When we were 15 the show was on its final season and honestly I was scared of loosing Madi, not only was she my best friend but also the girl I loved for 2 years. Eventually, Madison couldn't deny her feelings any longer. She kissed me one day after filming in her trailer and it was like a weight had been lifted off both of our shoulders. “Please don’t tell anyone…” she whispered against my lips as they part, each of us gasping for air. “I won’t, I promise…” I say looking into her green eyes and running my hand through her dirty blonde hair. She bit her lip hesitantly, “it’s okay madi…” I whisper cupping her cheek to reassure her. I knew she had a lot of trauma and trust issues so I knew it would be hard for her to let herself trust me. She looked into my eyes for a moment, searching for dishonesty and soon enough she leaned in and kissed me again, more passionate this time as if all her life she waited for this moment. I hugged her wanting to be as close as possible with her and she placed her hands on my waist awkwardly. From then on we began dating in secret. After a year Madison was still my girlfriend and everything was going well. Our families still didn’t know about us because Madi’s wouldn’t take it well. I didn’t really have any other friends to talk to about Madison either so I just kept it to myself.

It was a regular Friday, after shooting all day Madison brought me to a restaurant for dinner. We usually have our date night today after shooting so that’s what we were doing. We talked about work and Madison told me her mom was pressuring her to try and date Peter, the actor who played Emma’s love interest on the show. I felt jealous as soon as I heard this but madi reassured me that I was the person she wanted. After we pay the bill Madison walks me to her car, hand in mine and is talking to me about her favorite movie she worked on. She was so passionate and adorable and I couldn’t help but kiss her. She kisses back of course and smiles against my lips; “If you wanted me to shut up you could’ve just said that.” She jokes as we pull apart. I giggle, “You’re just so cute when you’re passionate about something.” I tell her before getting in her car. Madison gets in too and drives us to my house to drop me off; “okay, here we are.” She says a hint of disappointment in her tone. I lean over the counsel and kiss Madison gently, her arms wrapping around me and attempting to pull me closer to her. “Madi,” I giggle as I’m basically on the shifter. She giggles back and pulls me onto her lap causing me to blush as I’m wearing a skirt. Her hands rest on my thighs as her lips continuously met mine, her breath hitches as she feels me on her, “pretty…” she mumbles kissing my neck, “what?” I ask her shifting slightly on her lap. “You’re beautiful y/n.” Madison states looking up at me. I smile and blush looking at her, her hazel eyes filled with love and something more. I kiss her again, her hands cautiously resting against my thighs. “Do you want to come up? My parents aren’t home…” I was nervous of course but I wanted to give Madison all of me. She blushes and nuzzles into the crook of my neck; “I’d like that…” She says softly. We make love for the first time that night and Madison slept over, her arms wrapped around me and holding me tight all night.

Things changed quickly. After a few weeks she started acting cold and distant. She still took me on dates and had sex with me but something was wrong. Her attitude was different. I found out she was doing hard drugs and drinking a lot, I often took care of her. One night when I was bringing her to her room she told me what happened; our producer Dave made advances towards her. I held her that night and comforted her as best as I could. From that night on Madison was different. As much as I love Madison, I know that her addiction has changed her. It hurts to see her struggle, but it's even harder to see her push me away and prioritize her drug use over our relationship. I've tried to be there for her, to support her through rehab and therapy, but it seems like she's stuck in a cycle of using and hurting those around her.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’m so worried about losing her that I knew I had to say something…

I stood in front of her, my heart pounding in my chest and my palms sweaty. She had always been the light in my life, the one who made everything brighter and more beautiful. But now, as I looked at her, I could see the darkness creeping in around the edges.

"You can't keep doing this," I said, my voice shaking. "You're hurting yourself, and you're hurting everyone who loves you."

She looked at me with glassy eyes, and I could see the fear and anger warring within her. "I'm not hurting anyone," she spat. "I'm just having some fun."

"That's not fun," I said, my voice rising. "That's self-destruction. You're better than this, you're stronger than this. I know you are." She turns angrily, “maybe this is who I am y/n! Maybe I’m too fucked up…it’s my fault the shows getting canceled and it’s my fault you hate me-“ I took a step closer to her, reaching out to touch her arm. "I'll help you," I said. "We'll get through this together. You don't have to do it alone." She nods and hugs me. “I’m sorry…I don’t deserve you y/n…”

I really thought after that she’d stay true to her word and let me help her but she kept using and soon I found out she cheated on me at a party.

Cheating on me was a low blow, and it's made it hard for me to trust her. I know that she still loves me, but I'm not sure if that's enough. I don't want to be just a physical release for her when she's high, I want a real connection, like we used to have.

I'm torn between wanting to be there for her and wanting to protect myself from the pain she's causing me. It's a difficult situation, and I know that there are no easy answers. For now, all I can do is take things one day at a time and hope that Madison will eventually find her way back to me, and to a healthier life.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She says over the phone. I’m hurt and angry that she didn't tell me where she was going and left me wondering if she even cared about me at all. “My parents sent me here for rehab, and after the light hit Dave they think I had something to do with it.” I can hear the annoyance in her tone but the truth is we all think she did have something to do with light killing Dave. She tells me about her partying in New Orleans but then tells me about her rehab. But as she talks, I hear a change in her voice. There's a clarity and a strength that wasn't there before. She tells me about the work she's been doing in rehab and how she's come to understand the damage she was causing through her addiction and her abuse. As i listen, I start to feel a glimmer of hope. Maybe this is a turning point for her. Maybe she can change. Maybe I can forgive her. I decide right then and there that I’ll visit her in New Orleans and see how she's doing.

When I arrive, I’m a fucking mess; Nervous and uncertain. It’s been 2 years but as soon as I see Madison, i know that something has shifted. She looks healthier than she has in a while. She hugs me tightly and tells me how much she's missed me. I can't help but smile.

Over the course of the weekend, we spend time together exploring the city and talking about everything that's happened. Madison is honest with me about the mistakes she's made and the pain she's caused. She doesn't try to make excuses or shift the blame. She takes responsibility for her actions and asks for my forgiveness. It's not an easy conversation, but it's a necessary one. As I listen to her, I finally start to see the girl I fell in love with again. The one who was kind and funny and caring, though sometimes a bitch. I start to remember why i loved her in the first place.

She introduces me to her classmates at her new school, Miss Robichaux's Academy. They all had a certain aura about them - a kind of otherworldly energy that I couldn't quite place. Madison, always one to pick up on my confusion, quickly explained that these were her roommates at the school which was a boarding house for witches.

At first, I couldn't believe it. My childhood best friend and ex-girlfriend, a witch? It sounded like something out of a fantasy novel. But as I watched her move a pencil across the table with a flick of her wrist, I knew it was true.

"How long have you known?" I asked, still in shock. "Since I was a kid," she replied with a shrug. "It's just part of who I am."

I couldn't help but feel a little scared. What if she used her powers for something dangerous? But then she lit a candle with a wave of her hand, and I couldn't help but be impressed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask her softly. “And how would I do that? Y/n guess what? I can move shit with my mind! Yeah that would’ve went well.” She rolls her eyes. I sigh and take her hand in mine, “you know I wouldn’t tell anyone…” I say to her gently. She shrugs.

As we talked, she showed me more of what she could do. She levitated a book off the shelf and made it spin in mid-air. She even conjured up a small flame in the palm of her hand. It was all so surreal, but at the same time, it felt like we were just two old friends catching up. And in a way, we were. Despite the fact that she was a witch, she was still the same person I had known since childhood. As the night wore on, I found myself growing more and more curious about her powers. And who knows, maybe there was a little part of me that wished I could do those things too. But for now, I was content just watching in awe as she worked her magic. Zoe and I grew close and Cordelia, the headmistress, said I was always welcome and that Madison hasn’t been this talkative since she got there.

The whole week was amazing and I grew to care about all of them. I could tell Madison was jealous but I know it’s because of her trust issues and insecurities so I just try to reassure her in small ways.

During the week we’d watch movies in Madison’s room and she’d fall asleep cuddled up to me. I didn’t have the heart to leave her and when I tried to go back to the rental one night Madison sleepily clung on to me so I stayed.

The night before I was supposed to leave Madison showed up at my door. I stand there, frozen in shock as I watch her standing in front of me, drenched in the rain. Memories of our past flood my mind, the good times and the bad. I remember the day she left me, the day she turned to drugs, and the day I gave up on her. But now, seeing her in this vulnerable state, I can't help but feel a surge of emotions.

“Please stay…” she mumbles looking at me desperately. I want to hold her, comfort her, and tell her that everything is going to be alright. But at the same time, I know that it's not going to be easy. I take a deep breath and step forward, wrapping my arms around her. She sobs into my chest, and I can feel her shaking with fear and uncertainty. I stroke her hair and whisper softly, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Madison kisses me softly, her hands resting in my hair as we do, her lips soft and needy for mine. I pull her into the rented house and we kiss passionately for a good 3 minutes until she pushes me against the kitchen island. She begins to kiss my neck and I tug at her jacket; “M-madi-“ I moan her out her nickname as I arch my back slightly wanting to be close to her. “Haven’t heard that in a while…” She says kissing me again as I take off her jacket and throw it to the floor. I look at the movie star, her eyes searching mine, “you chickening out already y/n?” Madison teases, a sense of nervousness laced in her tone. I shake my head and hold her close as she kisses me, “It’s just…It’s been a while for me…” I mumble nervously. Madison hums, “How long?” She asks gently as she pulls away and takes my hand, walking with me through the house. “Well…since we broke up.” I say truthfully. Madison looks at me in surprise and I take the minute to lead her to my room and I look at her, “two years?” She asks in surprise , “yea…” I mumble shyly. She kisses me again, “Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.” She says as she pushes me on the bed. I blush looking up at Madison as she looks at me lustfully. She kisses me again, the kiss soon becomes sloppy and desperate as Madi straddles my waist.

My hands grip the sides of her thighs before traveling up to her hips, she subtly rolls her hips, before she pulls away to tug at the hem of my shirt and I pull away from the kiss to allow her to push it away. Her eyes lock with the blue bra I had on, which happens to be her favorite color. Madison takes a breath before she kisses me again, the kiss more loving and passionate this time, her lips pressing against mine repeatedly. “Fuck y/n…” She curses as she cups my breasts over my bra. I feel a sudden jolt of arousal when her hand skillfully slipped under my back and unclipped my bra and I couldn’t help but moan at the feeling. I look at the blonde breathless as our eyes meet just before she takes my nipple into her warm mouth. I gasp and my hands automatically slip into her hair as she sucks and lightly trails her teeth over my right breast before moving onto the left. She pulls away to kiss me and I take the opportunity to slip my hands under her shirt that read ‘bite me’. I decide to take the advice of the shirt and begin to suck and bite along her neck causing her to moan softly. I push her shirt up past her small perky breasts and I bite my lip realizing she’s not wearing a bra. She grabs my jaw and pulls me into another hungry kiss as I blindly grope her boobs, “fuck…I missed you so much.” Madison mumbles before our lips met again. I pull away from her slightly to kiss down her chest and run my tongue over her hard nipple before sucking on it. Madison groans and throws her head back in pleasure and as I’m distracted by her she pushes me back on the bed roughly and pulls down my shorts and panties in one go. “Do you want this?” Madison asks gently as she kisses my cheek and along my jaw, her body settling between my thighs, “yes.” I reply, wanting her to touch me desperately. She hums and begins to grind herself against me causing both of us to moan. “God…you feel so good…” Madison mumbles. I hum and pull down her shorts leaving her in her panties. She looks at me and smirks at me under her as she straddles my thigh. She begins to rub herself against my thigh desperately as she kisses me, her hips moving quickly as her panties began to dampen, her wetness on my thigh. “Fuck…” Madison moans, her nails digging into my shoulders as she desperately rubs her clit against my flexed thigh. I kiss her again, keeping her close as she pleasures herself. I place my hands on her thighs to help her and she whimpers in response and drags her nails down my back, her thighs tightening around mine as she moans out, “baby I’m close…” she mumbles before kissing along my jaw. I hum and turn her head so our lips connect and she curses as she cums in her panties, moaning out my name pornographically as she rides out her high.

“We weren’t even fully naked…” I say smirking at her. She rolls her eyes, “shut up or I won’t let you cum. I haven’t actually been with someone who can make me cum in a while so…” she admits while pushing me fully onto the bed and pulling my leg around her waist as she kisses me passionately. She rubs herself against me causing my breath to hitch and she rubs my nipples as I pull down her panties and her hands go to mine and do the same for me then slipping her fingers through my wet folds, slowly running down my slit, and into my hole cautiously. “Are you ready?” She asks softly as she kisses at my cheek and jaw, “yes.” I respond, rubbing her sides and breasts. She begins to suck at my neck and kiss me as her fingers enter my wetness with ease. “Madi-“ I gasp as her fingers moved in and out of me slowly at first but gradually going faster and faster, “Mads…mmm~” She smirks and kisses me before fucking me harder, her thumb going to rub my neglected clit, “Ah! Madison!” I moan out, as she touches the twitching bud. Madison chuckles and keeps going while matching her pace, “take it baby…you’re such a good little slut for me hmm?” I lost it at her words, moaning and gripping onto Madison’s back as my body shook with pleasure, my pussy clenching and soaking her fingers with my juices, “still such a good girl for me y/n.” She mumbles as she continues to rub my clit and slowly fuck me with her fingers, “so hot…” she mumbles kissing me once more before pulling her fingers out of me and licking them clean, my body shuttering from the loss. “Madi…” I mumble out totally fucked. She kissed me before laying on my shoulder, her lips pressing against the skin of my neck every now and then as she rubbed my hips and mumbled sweet nothings. I got up to pee and wash up and madison followed me doing the same. After we shower together we get back into bed and watch horror movies until we fell asleep, Madison’s arms wrapped around me and her head resting atop of mine. The next day we went back to the coven where Madi asked Cordelia if I could stay with them for a while. Delia knew how happy I made Madison so she agreed making us both happy.

#smut #gxg #lesbian #emma roberts #madison montgomery imagine #madison montgomery #ahs coven #ahs #american horror story #ahs imagine

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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 11 months ago

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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 2: Love Muffin

~The Man Cave~

Something was up, something big. Ray had called Henry and Charlotte to the Man Cave way past their bedtimes and now, they were pacing around the main room with (y/n). She knew as much as they did, absolutely jack all and was just as worried for whatever emergency was going on as they were.

"Why would he want want us here after midnight on a Thursday?" Henry asked as they all paced around, but no one could give him an answer. Charlotte and (y/n) were still in their pyjamas and extremely sleepy, but their worried minds wouldn't let them get any sleep until they knew what was going on.

"I don't know, but if it's because he had a bad dream again, I am not gonna sing him a lullaby this time. That's your job." Charlotte looked at (y/n) who rolled her eyes and went back to her panicking.

"No, he's not been around all evening, I don't know where he is. God...I'm so worried." She breathed out and rubbed her eyes with the palm of her heels as she tried not to get into a state. He was indestructible and more than capable of looking after himself. It just concerned her that he'd not sent a text or left a note about where he was going.

"I'm here!" Jasper panted as he came bumbling down in the elevator. He had an odd choice of pyjamas; an all American flag onesie, but the weirdest thing about him was the fact that he had his hair done up in rollers.

"That's an emergency." Henry deadpanned. He couldn't see Jasper like that and not poke fun at him. It was just too good of an opportunity to miss.

"Are you...why would...curlers?" Charlotte stuttered as she struggled to put her shock into words. Why would he put them in his hair? Did he do it every night? So many questions.

"What, you thought my hair was naturally curly?" He asked the girls as he smirked at their open mouths. He just did it to spice up his look and he'd been doing it for years.

"I feel lied to." (y/n) commented, but her joking stopped as the tube alarm beeped and Ray came down, with a stupid look on his face.

"Heyyyyyy. Hello, friends. Welcome, welcome!" He breathed out dreamily, confusing the woman and teens as he greeted them. Why did he seem so out of it?

"Hey..." The kids said as (y/n) put her hands on her hips and gave him a pointed stare. She wanted to know why she had been waiting up, worried sick all night for him to come home.

"Ray Manchester, where have you been? I've been---" She was cut off as Ray smushed his finger against her lips to shut her up. Seriously, what was up with him? He'd never stop (y/n) from speaking normally, but this wasn't normal.

"And now...I want to introduce you guys to someone very special..." Ray told his friends and (y/n) felt her heart clench as she got the feeling that he was about to do something dreadful. The alarm for the other tube sounded and down came a very beautiful woman, wearing dark makeup and dark clothes. Holy shit.

"Who's that?" Charlotte whispered to the woman but she was shutting down, both mentally and physically as she sensed the worst. Her nightmare come to life, right in front of her and she couldn't move.

"I don't know. Looks like a woman." Henry whispered back, seeing that (y/n) was pale and shaking, worrying him beyond belief. It took a lot to get her like this and he didn't like how she was reacting.

Ray brought the woman into his arms and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, making (y/n) choke up as tears sprung to her eyes. Was he doing this deliberately as some sort of cruel prank? To bring this into the Man Cave at such a late hour seemed so unkind like he was rubbing it in her face and Charlotte put a hand on her shoulder as she trembled.

"Everyone...this is Gwen," Ray said her name and (y/n) immediately hated it. It could've been anything and she'd hate it, but the way the woman smirked at her sickened reaction made her heart ache more. Sure, he'd had girlfriends in the past and they stung, like she'd had boyfriends and stung him, but this felt different, more intense and like he genuinely wanted it to work. And that made her heart throb.

"Hi, guys." Gwen smiled sinisterly to the kids, who also instantly disliked her. What was Ray thinking? Bringing her down into his secret hideout and flaunting his new relationship in front of the woman he really loved, was he insane?

"Ray, can I talk to you for a second?" Henry grabbed onto his boss's elbow and dragged him away from Gwen's arms, which didn't go down very well with Ray. (y/n) hated the way he whined when he had to let go of the dark-haired woman and she had to turn away to stop her mind from keeping the image forever.

"Hold on, I'd really rather--" The large man made grabby hands at his new woman, but Henry was on a mission and he wasn't gonna let this go without an answer. He had way too much loyalty to (y/n) and the hope of her and Ray getting together.

"Just a sec, so sorry." He said as he yanked him away, even though he wasn't sorry at all. In fact, he was rather proud of himself for getting him to stop slathering all over her.

"Are you crazy!!" Henry hissed at him as he made sure that Charlotte was comforting the heartbroken young woman behind him. Good, he needed her distracted so he could give his boss a good talking to.

"What?" Ray looked at him innocently, not being able to pick up on anyone else's feelings through the haze of love he felt for Gwen. It was like his mind wasn't his own.

"You can't just bring some stranger down here into the Man Cave!" Henry hissed, deciding to use (y/n) as his main argument in a few moments. He wanted to shock Ray into sense and if he had to pull out the big guns, he would.

"Oh, Gwen's not a stranger." Ray scoffed, looking over at the bewitching woman with heart eyes. He couldn't even hear the way (y/n) was sniffing into Charlotte's shoulder.

"Well, how long have you known her?," Henry asked as he saw how broken the young woman was. This Gwen girl better be good, but then again, the boy was sure that no one would ever suit Ray more than (y/n) did. They were soulmates.

"Almost three hours." Ray cooed and rested his head on Henry's shoulder, but the boy was disgusted with his behaviour. So many years of loving (y/n) and he was throwing it all away for an actual stranger?

"What?! Three hours?! Dude, what about (y/n)?" He said the woman's name quietly, but she was so distraught that she could only hear the words 'I've lost him' bouncing around in her head. She knew this day would come when he found a nice girl and settled down with her properly, but she didn't think it would be tonight or without her. That last shred of hope that he might turn around and say that she was the one he wanted, died when she saw his loving gaze at Gwen. He wasn't hers to love anymore.

"What about her? I love Gwen...Ooo, that reminds me. I gotta tell her she's Miss Danger and you're Kid Danger." Ray suddenly perked up and Henry scrambled to stop him, but he was too strong and too fast to hold back.

"What? No, no, no--" Henry panicked, but Ray wasn't thinking straight.

"Hey, honey?" He smiled at Gwen, making (y/n) lookup from Charlotte's shoulder with red, puffy eyes. Bless her, she'd tried everything to make (y/n) feel better, but everything Charlotte tried wouldn't work and Ray was making it worse.

"Yes?" Gwen's sweet voice turned away from her conversation with Jasper to look at her new man.

"I bet you'll never guess who this loveable knucklehead really is." Ray put his arm around Henry, who was trying to escape his hold and shut him up, but he couldn't wriggle free.

"Not a good idea." Charlotte, Henry and Jasper shook their heads frantically and tried to make him zip his lip. (y/n) was still staying silent as her voice would just be small and quiet because she had taken in everything aspect of Gwen and had come to one conclusion. She was gorgeous, her figure was flawless and she obviously had something that Ray saw that she didn't have.

"Kid Danger! Haha!" Ray giggled as Gwen smirked at the new information. She was working her way into the centre of the Man Cave and it was easier than she could ever have imagined. She'd heard the rumours about Captain Man and Miss Danger being a couple, but when she learnt that, in reality, they were so careful and insecure about their love, it made Ray an easy target.

"Dude!" Henry shrieked in horror, but Ray giggled dreamily. His head was spinning and his lips moved before he could stop them. All he could see, hear and feel was Gwen.

"It's okay, Gwen even knows that I'm Captain Man. Oh, and (y/n)'s Miss Danger." He brushed off their concern as they all gasped and voiced their disgust with him. Was he trying to get them all captured or killed?

"Ray! That wasn't your secret to tell!" (y/n) finally found her voice at the mention of her name. She was certain that she was having a heart attack, but she didn't want her secrets being told to everyone that Ray fancied. That was her business and the fact that he was telling every girl that walked through his life pissed her off.

"It's fine...and guess what else." Ray shook off her anger and took Gwen's hand again as she smiled evilly at him. Surely things couldn't get worse, but the young woman felt her bravery take a back seat as they started to snuggle up again. Just last night they were the closest of friends and her love had never been brighter, but now, it was like she was the stranger and Gwen had stolen the prize right from under her nose.

"Gwen and I...we're getting married." Ray smiled and that was when the dam broke. Every tear in her body came flooding to her eyes as the news broke (y/n). Literally broke her, like Ray had taken a knife, carved out her heart and crushed it with his bare hand. She bit back her sob as she turned around quickly and sat by herself on the couch, needing to look away from whatever had happened to her best friend. The teens couldn't believe it, Ray getting married to that floozy? What?

Henry felt his own heart hurt as he watched the woman isolate herself from the group and he was taken aback by how small she seemed. Without Ray by her side, she was so lonely and fragile, like the slightest touch would break her if anyone tried to reach out and comfort her. She was on her own with her broken love.

"Heyyyy. What's the...happening?" Schwoz came in, full of beans despite the late hour, but his smile died when he saw (y/n) shaking and trying to muffle her sobs on the sofa and the shock written all over Henry, Jasper's and Charlotte's faces.

"Ray's getting married to a woman he met three hours ago!" Henry told him and Schwoz blanched at the news, his head snapping from Ray to (y/n) and then back to Ray.

"Whaaaaaaaat?!" He gasped in horror and his nose screwed up in disgust when Ray fawned over Gwen. That should've been his best friend in his arms, not this floozy.

"And--why does Jasper have those things on his head?" Schwoz asked although he should've focused on the larger problem at hand. Screw Jasper's hair, the family that Ray had built for himself was at threat and everyone needed to pull together to find out why.

~The next morning, in Junk-N-Stuff~

(y/n) hadn't slept a wink. She'd just collapsed onto her bed and sobbed into her quilt to let out nine years of broken love. Where had she gone wrong? All those times she could have said something and she hadn't, now, she felt so foolish. She'd known all along that there had always been a chance that he'd find someone else and settle down with them, but she hadn't expected it that night and she hadn't been prepared for how much it hurt.

Henry had managed to drag her from her moping around noonish and she had moodily trudged upstairs with him so she could cry in Junk-N-Stuff. It was bad for business, but the boy knew she had to get away from Ray and Gwen's kissing. Not to mention all the...other stuff that she'd heard, which made her cry harder and hurt deeper.

"Henry..." Jasper looked to his best friend as he tried to water Omar. The plant needed care, but it was fussy about who got to give that care. Normally, it was (y/n), who was no longer afraid of the flytrap's snappy attitude, but she was currently slumped on the floor with her face pressed into her knees. Let's just say that she needed some space.

"Yeah?" The boy broke out of his deep pondering and looked at his two friends, both of whom had a problem on very different levels.

"This plant's intimidating me." Jasper pouted, but his friend didn't care. His job was on the line and everything he'd been pushing (y/n) and Ray towards for nearly two years was in tatters. He needed to think, not worry about plants.

"Dude, we got way bigger problems right now than...plant thirst." He stressed, making the young woman look up at him as he stopped in front of her and gestured his arm to her depressed state. She looked terrible, with bags under her red eyes and crumpled pyjamas, anyone would be able to tell she was mourning something or someone dear to her.

"I mean, why would Ray wanna marry a lady he's only known for three hours?" Henry asked Jasper, and a stab of pain went through the woman's heart at the reminder.

"Rub it in, why don't you?" She sniffed and got to her feet. She was still miserable, but the floor was cold and it just made her look desperate. She was allowed to be a little desperate though, she was hurting bad.

"Maybe she has a trampoline," Jasper suggested, making Henry and (y/n) look at him with annoyed expressions. That wasn't very helpful. Even Omar wasn't impressed, but then again, he rarely was.

~In the Man Cave~

"No, I love you more. I do too. No, I love you more than you love me. Oh, I think I do." Ray smiled as he told Gwen the sickly sweet words over the phone and shuffled along the couch. Everything she did, even if it was nothing made his heart race and his brain turn to mush, which was hard for Charlotte and Schwoz to watch as they tinkered with a machine.

"All right, he's about to make me puke," Charlotte grumbled to Schwoz as she listened to his ridiculous drivel. She took back every gag and eye roll she ever made at how lovey-dovey Ray and (y/n) were together since they were meant to be. This was just revolting, over-the-top trash talk.

"No, I love you more." Ray continued to giggle and coo down the phone and Schwoz knew he needed to get to the bottom of this fast before (y/n) walked out and Ray made the biggest mistake of his life.

"What's that?" Charlotte asked as she saw him charge up a gun-like gadget that she'd never seen before.

"We can use this to find out why Ray fell in love with that woman so quickly. I will die before I see Ray lose (y/n)." Schwoz told the young girl gravely and she got the sentiment. She'd known them for only a small fraction of their friendship, but Schwoz? He'd seen it all; from their first meeting to their first fight and make-up, he'd watched them fall in love and he was going to see them together, even if it killed him.

"But how can--" Charlotte was confused as to how it worked, but there was time for questions later. Schwoz shushed her as Ray left himself open for the small man to blast him.

"Ray! Ray, come quick to me!" Schwoz called him in a sing-song voice, and even though he didn't want to, Ray said goodbye to his "lovely" Gwen.

"Yeah, I'll see you in a few minutes. I love you. Muah!" He made kissy noises down the phone. and drunkenly stood up from the supercomputer chair where he'd been rambling on the phone for the past few minutes.

"Okay, Schwoz, what was it that you wanted me--" Ray never finished his sentence. As soon as he had tucked his phone back into his back pocket, Schwoz shot his device thing at his face, making him go all wobbly and woozy.

"Charlotte, catch him!" Schwoz told the girl, but she could barely hold up a person of her own weight, let alone Ray, who was all muscle and bulk.

"Me? Ah!" The girl screamed as Ray collapsed on top of her. At least she broke his fall.

"Good job! Now, bring him over to the sofa." Schwoz instructed her and walked off. She couldn't move, she had a huge man crushing her spleen and pinning down her arms. Her job was never easy.

~Upstairs~

"Come on, smile for me..." Jasper encouraged Omar and tried to stroke his foliage, but he just received a face full of goop. Yeah, it was never a good idea to disturb the plant, not that Henry or (y/n) cared. They were still panicking and pacing around as they thought about Ray.

"He globbered me!" Jasper whined, making (y/n) sigh as she and Henry dashed over to help him wipe away the sticky gunk. It was never nice to get it in your eyes and they couldn't leave him to blindly stumble around the store.

"All right, all right, it's not that bad," Henry reassured him as the young woman grabbed some tissues.

"Don't touch your eyes, you'll just rub it in and then it gets really bad." She told Jasper, who swiftly dropped his hands to his side. (y/n) began to clear the goo from each eye and it gave Henry a chance to check up on her. He hadn't done that yet and he felt like she deserved all the support in the world.

"Hey, are you all right?" He asked her softly, taking note of the way she was so gentle and kind to Jasper even though her heart was missing. Even without her love, she still had enough to go around and would never dream of hoarding it to keep herself happy. It reminded Henry that she always took care of everyone else and now, it was their turn to take care of her in her hour of need.

"No, not really." She whispered back, trying not to cry. She was certain that if she started again, she'd never stop and she had to put on her brave face even though she wasn't feeling brave at all.

"What you feelin'?" Jasper asked carefully, making sure to choose his words with meaning. It wasn't a casual "what's up?" or "what's wrong?", it got to the centre of her and what was going on in her mind.

"Oh, you know. I'm feeling depressed because the man I've loved for nearly all of the nine years I've known him has promised himself to a stranger. I'm angry because she's everything I could never be and...I'm scared." She muttered the last part as she finished cleaning the last of Omar's puke from Jasper's face and the boys exchanged a worried glance with each other.

"Why?" Henry asked, hating to see such a usually bubbly and cheery woman reduced to a shell of her former self.

"Because where does this leave me? If they do...get married, I can't live here. I'll have to give all this up and move out, 'cause I can't watch Ray build a life with someone who isn't me. And I guarantee I won't be wanted anymore. He's gonna have a wife, why would he want me?" She confessed and gulped as she imagined saying goodbye to Ray for the last time. Surely, this wasn't how it was meant to be.

"We're gonna find out what's wrong with him and then Gwen--" Henry's determined speech was cut off as the devil herself came strolling through the door. Ugh, what did she want?

"Henry. Jasper. Poor little (y/n)..." She smirked as she walked into the store, a box in her freshly manicured hands. God, she was so smug and (y/n) knew that her cocky stare was her way of telling her that she'd won and there was nothing she could do to stop her.

"Hey, Gwen..." Jasper greeted her cautiously, very aware of the thick tension between the two women. Of course, he and Henry were loyal to (y/n), but they didn't want to appear too hostile until they sussed out what she was doing with Ray.

"Uh, Jasper, why don't you go take (y/n) to the bathroom?" Henry suggested to his friend as he eyed Gwen's suspicious movements. He needed some alone time with her to assess what she was up to.

"Because I'm a grown woman and I can go by myself?" (y/n) replied for Jasper, thinking that Henry was completely crazy. Like she needed an escort to go pee, she wasn't that sad.

"Then go into the bathroom and show him your Celine Dion playlist," Henry told her tightly and she got the message that he wanted them gone for a moment.

"All right, but first..." She agreed, but she had one thing to say to this emo barbie bitch before she went.

"I don't know what your game is, Gwen, but you won't win." She told the smirking woman, who puffed out her chest and looked at her like she was a child in need of a good scolding. Still, (y/n) stood her ground and kept hold of her courage, even though she was still feeling weak with sadness.

"Oh, sweet, sweet girl. I've already won." Gwen hissed at her sharply, making the helper growl at the use of Ray's nickname for her. If she wanted a war, she could have one. (y/n) had nothing left to lose and she was too broken to care what anyone thought about her.

"I don't know how much Ray has told you, but...you can't hurt me. Not anymore, no one can." She told her rival in a low, serious voice before turning around and marching to the back room with Jasper in tow. It was true, no one could hurt her, she had moved past being a jumpy, mousy girl who was scared of her own shadow and was now a superhero of all things. However, there was one man who still had a grip on her heart and he was the one holding her together. But, his grip was loosening and she was at the point of falling if someone didn't wake him up soon.

"Y'know...Henry. I got the feeling last night that you don't want me to marry your friend, Ray." Gwen started as soon as (y/n) and Jasper were out of earshot. She didn't want that good-for-nothing superhero bitch coming in with her superpowers and ruining her plans.

"Well, I'm glad that you got that feeling, 'cause the feeling is exactly what I want your feeling to be. Ya feelin' me?" Henry sassed her in an agitated tone, wishing to communicate all of his hate for the woman to her.

"I'm sorry, one more time?" She smirked, wanting to keep control of the situation by making Henry unsure of himself and what he was saying. She was sneaky that way.

"No, I'm sorry, 'cause I don't repeat stuff." Henry snapped back. He wasn't going to let her have the upper hand, no way. He wasn't afraid of her or how she was using Ray to get her own way, in fact, he was sure he could beat her.

~Back in the Man Cave~

After a lot of pain and struggling, Charlotte had finally managed to get Ray on the couch so he could sleep through his unconsciousness.

"What are you doing?" She asked Schwoz in an exhausted voice, who had rapidly jogged over with some weird helmet scanner thing so he could slide it onto Ray's head. Yeah, he got the easy job.

"I am connecting this device to Ray's brain, and converting his cerebral memory impulses into audio and video images, so we can see his memories from yesterday when he first met the lady," Schwoz explained, his mouth turning into a nauseated sneer at the thought of Gwen.

"When he first met the lady." Charlotte mimicked his funny voice, but she too had a sickened expression. Everyone hated Gwen and everyone was going to make sure she left. The girl looked at the screen with Schwoz and he pulled a lever, making his brain scanner flicker to life as it began to read Ray's mind. It was all a bit too complicated for Charlotte, but she tried to keep up where she could and soon, they'd found the right memory.

"Hey, you there!"

"Me?"

"What are you doing with that glowing blob?"

"Uh, nothing."

"That's a lie, I think you're a criminal."

"Are you...hungry?"

"Uhhh..." Schwoz and Charlotte watched in horror as they saw what had unfolded the previous night. Gwen must have tricked Ray or hypnotised him or something because he'd never give up his secrets and love for her and they weren't the only ones who knew that.

~Meanwhile, upstairs~

In the store, Henry was giving the woman a piece of his mind. He didn't trust her and for good reason, she was evil and up to no good, not that he knew the extent of it.

"I know Ray and there's no way that he'd meet you, and then ask you to marry him on the same day, unless you--unless you did something. Because I know and everyone else knows that Ray loves (y/n) and belongs with her." Henry hissed at her and that's when Gwen opened her Tupperware box. She knew that Captain Man and Kid Danger were too resilient to her charms in their own minds, so she had to unleash her secret weapon.

"Y'know Henry...I was hoping that we could be friends. But now...I'm sorry that I made you these muffins." Gwen showed him the baked goods and the sickly sweet smell rising from them tickled Henry's nose.

"M-Muffins?!" He looked at her in confusion. He didn't trust this woman or anything she gave him, but those muffins sure looked good...

~Back in the Man Cave~

"Mmmm, yeah, that's really good. That's a really good muffin..." Charlotte and Schwoz continued to watch what had happened to Ray and they learnt that everything was fine until Gwen gave him a muffin. Wait a second...

"Captain Man?"

"Yeah?

"May I kiss you?" The sneaky woman. Ray never turned down a kiss from a pretty female begging for his attention. He had always told himself that one day, he might find someone who could distract his heart from the pain of not having (y/n) and Gwen was just another chick in line. Her kiss was nothing compared to the one he'd shared with his sweet girl, nothing ever was, but little did he know, this poison touch was about to steal him away from his love, possibly forever.

"Uhhhh...wuhhh...I like someone elseee...." Ray was powerless to stop her and his protests died where they stood when Gwen planted a gentle yet revolting kiss on the hero's lips. Schwoz didn't want Charlotte to see that so he put his hand over her eyes, which annoyed the girl. She didn't want to miss a thing; any detail could be crucial in helping their friend get back to normal.

"Now, Captain Man, is there something you want to tell me?"

"Y-Yeah, I...I love you." What? Schwoz and Charlotte were flabbergasted at this revelation.

"That's right and you always will, so forget that silly girl in your head and love me." Schwoz puffed out his cheeks and ended the simulation as he and the teen girl reeled from the revelation.

"The muffin!" Charlotte cried as she realised what had happened. Ray was perfectly fine until he ate the muffin!

"Yes!...What?" Schwoz wasn't following. He hadn't been paying as much attention as Charlotte and he couldn't make the connection between Ray and Gwen's muffin.

"Gwen did something to the muffin! Like...she must've added some sort of chemical or something and it made Ray fall in love with her when she kissed him!" Charlotte theorised, knowing that she was along the right lines. Gwen was evil and they had to stop her.

Suddenly, the secret door opened and out came (y/n) and Jasper, both singing to Celine Dion. The boy had taken the long way around to the Man Cave and had used every trick in his goofy body to cheer her up, which it had worked to an extent.

"Nearrrrrr, farrrrrr, whereeverrrr youuu are, I believeeee that the heart doessss go onnnn!" (y/n) sang with Jasper, not caring if she was off-key or offbeat. She was playing her sad playlist and she needed to rock out. Plus, if Celine was right, she'd come back from her heartache, yeah right.

"Jasper? (y/n)?" Charlotte walked towards them in confusion as the young woman muted the blaring music coming from her phone.

"Hey, what's up?" Jasper greeted her as (y/n) brushed some of her messy hair away from her face. Maybe getting a shower and getting dressed would be a good idea.

"Are you feeling better, (y/n)?" Schwoz looked conflicted. He was glad she wasn't sobbing uncontrollably anymore, but he also didn't want her to leave prematurely. If only he knew how cut up she was inside.

"Eh. I still feel like shit and I'm eighty-seven per cent sure I'm going to be homeless soon, but at least I've got Celine." She offered him a sad smile and it told him everything he needed to know. She wasn't feeling better, if anything she was feeling worse after having all night to think about what Ray "getting married" meant for her.

"I thought you guys were upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff with Henry," Charlotte told them, sensing that something was off.

"Oh, we were, but Henry wanted to talk to Gwen, so we went to the--" Jasper tried to explain, but the moment he mentioned that cursed name, Charlotte and Schwoz started to panic.

"Gwen??" The teen girl cried, feeling like Henry could be in a lot of danger.

"Oh, geez." Schwoz gasped, also getting the sense that something nasty was going on upstairs.

"Come on!" The small man and girl ran to the elevator and, not wanting to be left behind, Jasper and (y/n) were hot on their heels.

"Wait for us!" The young woman exclaimed as she and Jasper slid across the cold floor. She knew Gwen was a thieving, bitchy skank, but why were they so concerned about Henry? What was going on?

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

Henry couldn't resist the temptation of a freshly-baked muffin, even if it had been made by a woman who was now considered to be an enemy.

"Oh man, what is this, banana nut? This a banana nut muffin?" He asked the smirking woman as the spongy cake tingled his tastebuds. Little did he know that the muffin wasn't a baked good, it was a baked bad.

"Henry, don't swallow that muffin!" Charlotte burst onto the shop floor with an exuberant worry in her voice and Schwoz, Jasper and (y/n) weren't far behind her.

"W-What--stop--ah!" Henry protested as Charlotte reached into his mouth and began to pick the crumbs out of his mouth. Yeah, it was gross to remove the gooey, half-chewed muffin but needs must and Henry couldn't be allowed to eat it.

"Henry, it's dangerous!" She tried to tell him, but Henry was instinctively fighting against the attack. Desperate time called for desperate measures.

"Use my handheld vacuum cleaner!" (y/n) passed her small device to Charlotte as she glared at Gwen. She didn't understand the full picture but she was getting the idea that this was her doing.

"Okay, out of your mouth! Henry!" Charlotte begged her friend as she sucked the muffin out, but Gwen wasn't going to let a child ruin her plans.

"Hey! Let him eat the muffin!" She yelled at Charlotte and it awoke (y/n)'s fury. This woman had come in and wrecked her life, she wasn't going to let her bully her friends.

"Back off, bitch!" She hissed back and Gwen and Charlotte engaged in a tug of war with Henry's body. They yanked him back and forth, back and forth until Henry pulled himself free of their grasps and staggered back. He tripped into a display and a large bust toppled over and onto his head, knocking the boy out.

"Oh my god!" Charlotte gasped as her friend collapsed on the floor and before (y/n) could dish out her first-aid expertise, Jasper thrusted himself forward and offered his knowledge instead.

"I know mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" He announced and swiftly shrugged off his jacket as he rushed to Henry's side, even though the kiss of life wouldn't help him. He was unconscious, not suffocating.

"I need to kiss him!" Gwen grabbed his shoulders and tried to force him away, but Jasper was stronger than he looked and (y/n) was ready to kick her ass.

"He's my best friend!" Jasper hissed to her and prised her fingers off of him just as (y/n) stepped forward to sort her out. Drawing her fist back, she sent a sharp punch to Gwen's jaw, sending the woman stumbling back in a painful daze.

"Sit down, shut up!" She hissed to her, ignoring the throbbing in her knuckles. It soothed quickly as the swelling disappeared instantly and if Gwen dared make a noise, she was more than happy to give her some more.

Taking a deep breath, Jasper pressed his lips to Henry's and blew all the air in his lungs into his mouth. Henry gasped into consciousness and slowly lifted his head to see his friends looking at him in concern.

"Quick, help him up!" (y/n) told Jasper and Schwoz stepped forward to help the couching boy to his feet. The world was spinning and his brain was fuzzy as the boys helped to keep him steady.

"Hen, Hen, are you okay?"Jasper asked him in concern and he was taken aback by the loving gaze his best friend sent his way.

"I...I love you." Henry smiled at his newfound love, but Jasper didn't think he meant it in anything but a platonic way.

"Oh shit." (y/n) breathed out as Jasper realised that Henry wasn't joking. Okay, seeing Henry in love with him was weird and made him uncomfortable, especially when Henry latched onto him in a tight embrace.

"Hey, quit it! No, Henry--This is not a good time to hug." Jasper struggled to get him off. When Henry wanted to hug he was like an octopus, hands everywhere.

"Henry, leave Curly alone." (y/n) tried to get him off, but no one could make him let go of Jasper. He loved him.

"Aw, you have pretty hair." The mention of Jasper's nickname switched Henry's attention and the blond boy started to pet Jasper's curls affectionately, much like how he had seen Ray do it to (y/n) when they were cuddling.

"Henry!" Charlotte shouted at her friend, but she had to face Gwen's wrath first.

"Great, see what you did?" She hissed at the girl, making (y/n) step in front of Charlotte protectively, even though she was more than happy to yell back.

"What I did?!" Charlotte reiterated in anger, not believing the nerve of the woman. She was the evil one, not her.

"Yeah!" Gwen growled, standing against the two girls, who were not afraid of a fight. They knew that they were in the right and she was in the wrong.

"We're not the ones who's been boppin' round here with a box of mystical muffins!" Charlotte argued, keeping a hand on (y/n)'s arm so she didn't lunge for Gwen. She hated her too and she would love nothing more than to see her friend give her what she deserved, but this wasn't the time for that.

"You little bitch, watch your step..." Gwen sneered and Charlotte had to take a step back to calm her nerves. She didn't want to fight either because she'd never win against a grown woman. However, luckily for her, she had a superhero on her side.

"Do you want another one? 'Cause I'll gladly beat your ass--" (y/n)'s threat was interrupted as her best friend appeared from the back, stopping her fist in the air. Dammit, why did he have to show up now?

"Gwen! I was just dreaming about the first time we met!" Ray cooed as he floated across the store and joined hands with Gwen, who was smirking at (y/n). The young woman instantly dropped her anger and reverted to her sad, reclusive self as she saw Ray go to her with a lovestruck smile.

"Hello, my sweet man." The criminal brushed his hair away from his eyes and looked at the Man Cave team with a smug smirk. She wanted them to know that she had their leader wrapped around her finger, especially since it rendered Miss Danger depressed and non-dangerous.

"Ray, no!" Charlotte tried to stop him as she and Schwoz saw the way (y/n) lost all her confidence at the sight of Ray loving another.

"Quit--quit it!" Jasper slapped away Henry's hands as he had a different problem with love. Mainly that his best friend was acting crazy and wouldn't leave him alone.

"I can't quit you!" Henry replied in a cute baby voice and wrapped Jasper in another unwanted hug.

"Ray, you don't really love her!" Charlotte tried again to get her boss away from that witch, but he was under her spell and couldn't hear what she was saying.

"Ray, she gave you a bad muffin that--" Even Schwoz couldn't get through to him and when he stood in between the couple, Ray just kept him sandwiched between them as he leaned over his head.

"She tricked you!" Charlotte yelled as (y/n) watched the scene with sad eyes. What had she done to deserve pain like this? If this was love, why did it hurt so much?

"Yah and she tried to do it to Henry too!" Schwoz gasped as he freed himself from the Ray-Gwen sandwich.

"Except Henry fell in love with Jasper by mistake!" The teen girl pointed to the best friends, where Jasper was still fighting off Henry's advances.

"Aw, my sweet girl's so smart!" Ray cooed, shattering the few remains of (y/n)'s heart that had somehow managed to keep beating. That was his name for her, no one else's and to hear it be used on someone else, someone who didn't deserve his love, was agonising.

"Can you please make all of these people leave so we can be alone?" Gwen trailed her finger up Ray's chest as Schowz and Charlotte frowned at her. She knew what she was doing, using Ray against them and it made them furious.

"All right, everybody out!" He shouted at all his friends, who still couldn't believe that he was following her every order. Still, the muffins made people do anything and they realised that this wasn't his fault. Gwen was the one to blame.

"Come on, let's go!" He started to push them away as they protested, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. What Gwen wanted, Gwen would get.

"Ray, we live here, you have no right to force us out!" (y/n) tried to fight him off, but he just kept pushing her, Charlotte, Schwoz, Henry and jasper out of the door.

"I don't want you here," Ray told her in a cold voice and suddenly, she stopped fighting. Those were the words she'd never wanted to hear coming from him and they'd only appeared in her worst nightmares. Now, they'd come to life.

"Hate to see ya go, but go! Bye-bye!" Gwen smirked at them as the last of her problems were forced out of the store. Good, with (y/n) out of the way, Ray had no hope of regaining his mind, meaning he was all hers.

~Henry's house~

The gang trudged up to Henry's porch, feeling defeated. (y/n) didn't have the energy left to cry or care about the weird looks she had received for wearing pyjamas in the middle of the afternoon on the street, she just felt numb. If she didn't belong in the Man Cave anymore, where did she belong?

"No--no--nope, stop it!" Jasper told Henry squished him against the front door when he tried to open it. All the way from the shop, he'd been snuggling and squeezing him and he'd had enough.

"I love you." He slurred and Jasper opened the door as quickly as possible. They all tumbled in, well, everyone apart from Schwoz did, who was barred from entry by Charlotte.

"Whoa, you can't come in." She told him and was met by a grumpy Schwoz.

"Why can't I go in there?" he. grumbled, wanting to sit with his friends and help the young woman through her grief. He also didn't want to stand out in the cold like a weirdo loitering on someone's porch.

"'Cause, what if Henry's parents are home?" Charlotte suggested, knowing that they'd be horrified to find a weird little foreign man in their house, even if he did work with their son.

"(y/n) is allowed in there!" He pointed to the young woman, who was trudging behind Jasper and a dumb-in-love Henry.

"That's because Henry's parents know her and are cool with her," Charlotte explained, which made Schwoz pout even more.

"But I can't stay out of here by myself!" He whined, but the young girl knew he'd be fine. No one was gonna want to kidnap him and take him home, it was Schwoz.

"Sure you can." She replied.

"No! What if someone tries to take me?" He suggested, but it just made the girl roll her eyes.

"Who would want you?" She sassed, leaving Schwoz speechless. Taking advantage of his silence, she slammed the door in his face and went over to her friends. Jasper was trying to comfort (y/n) as she curled up on the sofa and buried her face into a cushion, but there was little he could do.

"Tell me why Gwen would use tainted muffins to make Ray fall in love with her." The curly-haired boy said to his friend as he put a hand on (y/n)'s shoulder and Henry was walking around the kitchen in love haze.

"'Cause think about it. If Captain Man and Kid Danger are so in love that they can't fight crime, then they can't stop Gwen from doing whatever evil things she wants to do!" Charlotte explained, making (y/n) look up as she pondered the idea.

"What about (y/n)? She's a superhero." Jasper noted, gesturing to the pyjama-clad girl.

"Gwen probably knows that Ray means a lot to her! So she's just going off the hope that (y/n) will be too sad to stop her from doing the evil things!" Charlotte added and the woman sat up with fire in her eyes.

"You got to admit, that bitch is clever." She sighed, snapping herself out of her sadness. She was still shaken, but she wasn't going to let Gwen beat her so easily. Ray needed her help and she was going to fight until her last breath to give it to him.

Okay then, I think we need to figure out how--how--ooo..." Jasper trailed off as Henry sat on the back of the couch and rubbed his shoulders lovingly. Even Jasper couldn't resist the pull of the gorgeous massage Henry was giving him, even though he hated how he was in love with him.

"JASPERRRR!" A loud, obnoxious voice came from the stairs and suddenly, Piper was trotting down the stairs in a foul mood.

"Oh, hey, Piper." He greeted the girl nervously, hoping that she wasn't angry about what he thought she was angry about.

"Did you go into my bathroom and take my curling iron?!" She snapped at the boy, who paled at her fury. He just wanted beautiful, curly locks, was that too much to ask for?

"Yeah, but I---" Jasper didn't need to defend himself, he had a best friend who was deeply in love with him and more than happy to bite back.

"Hey! Don't you yell at my Jasper!" Henry seethed at his sister, making his friends cringe at his odd choice of words.

"He jacked my girly-curly!" Piper hissed back. She was always ready for an argument, especially if she felt that she'd been wronged in some way. Stepping forward, she plucked two clumps of Jasper's eyelashes from his face as punishment for stealing her curling wand.

"Ow! She yanked off my eyelashes!" Jasper whined and turned to (y/n) so she could assess the damage. There wasn't much she could do, it would just sting for a few minutes, but Henry, well, he was seeing red.

"Piper! You just hurt someone I love!" The boy told her in a heartbroken, disgusted voice, but Piper wasn't done.

"Yeah, and I'm just getting started!" She growled and began to flick Jasper in the eyes as he groaned and moaned in pain.

"No, stop!" He begged, but she was too angry. She wanted him to feel pain.

"Piper, stop!" Henry yelled at her, feeling his fury grow and the lovey-dovey haze in his eyes was descending from a sweet pink colour into a deadly scarlet.

"Piper, quit that! No! No! Nooooo!" Henry reached his tipping point as his sister used her surprising strength to launch Jasper over the couch, which left him groaning in pain.

"Henry, oh my god! Are you okay?" (y/n) asked the teen as she noticed him convulsing and straining until he fell on the floor. Okay, what was going on?

"You okay?" Charlotte asked him too as Piper made herself scarce. Her work here was done, Jasper would never touch her stuff again. The girl and woman helped Henry to his feet and he blinked in confusion as his mind cleared.

"Ah, yeah. Yeah, I think so." He said in a tired voice and Jasper approached him cautiously when his best friend looked at him.

"No more hugging me, please." He begged Henry, whose face crumpled in disgust. Why would he want to do that?

"Hugging you? Ew." He gagged and his friends looked at each other in shock. The expression on Henry's face told them that he'd rather eat his own hand than give his friend a hug and that spoke volumes to them.

"Ewwww? Wait! Aren't you in love with Jasper?" Charlotte asked Henry as he rubbed his eyes and she waited for the response she was hoping for.

"In love with--what?! No, no!" The boy quickly denied it, much to the amazement of (y/n), Jasper and Charlotte.

"Holy shit, this is awesome!" The young woman breathed out as she smiled at Henry, even though he was still feeling pretty groggy.

"What is? How come Henry doesn't love me anymore?" Jasper whined. Sure, it was weird as hell to see his best friend look at him like that, but those shoulder rubs were nice.

"I think 'cause Piper when was harassing you, it made Henry feel really angry." Charlotte prompted and (y/n) suddenly knew what she was getting at.

"So?" Henry asked, still feeling puzzled after losing the effects from the muffin.

"So, when you feel strong emotions, your body releases chemicals into your brain." (y/n) explained and Jasper used her knowledge to piece everything together.

"Ohhh, so like, when Henry felt anger, it drove out his feelings of love?" Jasper theorised and he was bang on with his idea. The anger took over the love and then pushed it away, simple.

"Yeah, we think that's what happened.' Charlotte looked to (y/n) and she nodded in confirmation. It sounded plausible, now, they just needed to try it out on Ray.

"Okay, okay, so now, all we gotta do is make Ray like, insanely mad, so he'll fall out of love with Gwen," Henry said and they all knew that it was easier said than done.

"Well, but, how are we gonna get him mad enough?" Charlotte asked, but then the perfect person for the job popped into her mind and Henry's and Jasper's, as it happened.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" (y/n) asked as she saw three pairs of eyes on her and it made her skin prickle. Yeah, she knew how to make Ray tick but she didn't know if she wanted to see him like that, especially when it was directed at her.

"'Cause you know Ray better than anyone, you can get him mad," Henry told her. She knew everything about Ray, every wrinkle that made him seethe and scream, surely, she could think of something that could rile him up.

"Okay, but how should I do it? I can't just strike up a conversation with him, he can't hear me through his love dream thing, otherwise, we wouldn't be in this situation." (y/n) pointed out and they all took a minute to think. If a conversation wouldn't work, then they needed to up the ante.

"Ooo, you could pick a fight with him," Jasper suggested and everyone liked that idea.

"Yes." Henry nodded at his best friend as (y/n) started to plan what she'd say to her best friend. Of course, some obvious topics always upset him, but she had some other ideas too bouncing around her mind that could throw a spanner in the works. She hated to see him sad, but it was worth it because it was for his own good.

"Okay, I go in there, I start an argument and get him mad. Easy." (y/n) smiled at the boys, ready to get her friend and heart back, but Charlotte had some apprehension towards the plan.

"Oh, come on! Ray could kill you! You can't pick a fight with Ray!" The young girl reminded her of Ray's brutal strength and the worry in her eyes melted (y/n)'s heart. It was nice to have her friend's care and concern, but this was the only way.

"Char, one of us has to do it and I've got my super-regeneration so--" She tried to calm the girl, but she wasn't done.

"It might not be enough...If Ray loses his temper, there's no knowing what he'll do to you." She said softly and the woman knew she was right. Captain Man's strength was legendary and if unleashed against her small body, her power might not be able to keep up with a vicious attack.

"We don't have a choice. If it's not me, then it's got to be one of you three." She looked at the kids and Charlotte and Jasper immediately put their hands up.

"Not it!" They said together, effectively naming Henry as the backup option.

"Well, if I die, you're up next, Hen." (y/n) giggled at the young boy, but he was ready to step up if he had to. He'd probably survive slightly longer than Jasper and Charlotte if Ray started to throw him around the room.

"Then, let's go." Charlotte accepted their fates and they walked to the door. Poor Schwoz had been jumped by a group of mean kids and was being beaten on the ground when they opened the door. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone.

"Hey, hey, hey! Get outta here!"

"Leave him alone!"

"Pick on someone your own size!"

"Delinquents!" The four yelled at the kids and they quickly scarpered when the group appeared. They were smart enough to know when they were outnumbered, but clearly not smart enough to know that bullying people wasn't cool.

"Jerks!" Schwoz yelled after them with a grouchy face and threw a twig at the kids' retreating bodies. He missed by a mile, but it made him feel better; he couldn't help it if he was an easy target for a pack of bullies.

"Come on, let's get to the Man Cave!" Henry said to his friends and they all briskly walked off the porch as Schwoz collected his shoes that the children had removed. Poor guy, he always got the short end of the stick.

~In the Man Cave~

So listening to Ray and Gwen makeout was one of the hardest things (y/n) ever had to do. She and Henry were hiding behind a machine at the back of the room as they waited for Ray to be alone and with the noise of smacking lips in her ears, it felt like forever.

"Ugh, this is revolting." She grumbled to the boy as they kneeled in the corner. Her voice was low and her knees were cold, but they couldn't risk being spotted by that evil witch. That would ruin the plan and then they'd be back at square one.

"Shhh, it's all right. You know, he doesn't mean it." Henry reminded her that Ray wasn't in his right mind and (y/n) nodded with a sigh. Right, he didn't know what he was doing, but she was still stuck in the friendzone either way. She was his friend, nothing more.

"I know, I know, but it's still gross. All she uses is tongue." (y/n) shuddered, but suddenly, Henry grabbed her shoulder and peeked around the corner of the machinery.

"Look! She's leaving!" He told her and he was right. Gwen said something about robbing the Swellview Bank and then she was off through the sprocket, probably going to freshen up in Ray's room or leave a mousetrap in (y/n)'s bed. Either way, she was up to no good, but it gave them the opportunity they needed.

"Oh god, oh god, wish me luck." She breathed to the kid and stepped out from their hiding place. It was now or never with all her courage mustered.

"Soooo...Charlotte?" She started, following the plan they had come up with and upon hearing her cue, the girl sprung from behind the cabinet next to the elevator.

"Yeah, (y/n/n)?" The girl asked politely and innocently as she walked down from the tubes. Ray looked at them like they were insane but they kept going as per the plan.

"Who do you think should win the "Most Attractive Guy in Swellview"?" (y/n) asked the girl, starting off with a small irritating thing that would no doubt get under Ray's skin.

""Most Attractive guy in Swellview"?" She reiterated, making sure that Ray heard what they were talking about. This was sure to make him mad, even if it was just a starting point.

"Yeah, who do you think should win it?" (y/n) asked again, keeping her focus on her young friend so she wouldn't falter.

"Uh...." Charlotte held off for a minute and that's when Jasper stood up from behind the couch to say his line.

"Hey, what about Henry's dad?" He prompted, irritating Ray a bit. He had the worst hiding place and had nearly puked when he heard the couple kissing and slobbering over each other. Next, came Henry, who trotted down from the same place (y/n) did, with an innocent look on his face.

"Oh, yeah, my dad." He agreed and he and Jasper walked over to the girls. So far, so good.

"Yah, your dad is so hot," Schwoz added, springing up from the supercomputer. Okay, they were all assembled and now, they just had to set (y/n) up for the kill.

"Uh-huh, very true, I think he's gorgeous, a very attractive man." The young woman lied to her friends and they all heartily agreed, which struck a chord with Ray. Wait, why did his best friend liking another guy get to him so much? Through his Gwen mindset, the notion pierced his heart and was like the first droplet that would start the tsunami of rage and free him.

"Wait, wait, wait a second, you guys." He interrupted their happy chatter as he tried to make sense of his jealousy. Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, was all his brain was supposed to be loving so why was (y/n) suddenly creeping into his thoughts?

"Yeah?"

"What's up, buddy?" They all looked at him with friendly faces, but they could all see the first signs of exasperation on his face. Oh good, they were getting to him.

"Just a friendly reminder, I've won "Most Attractive Guy in Swellview" for the past twelve years, sooo...it's kinda in the bag." Ray bragged, not knowing that he was falling right into their trap. This was exactly what (y/n) had predicted and with a nod from the teens, she moved into phase two.

"Well, yeah, but...you're kinda old now, so...not much point in hoping." (y/n) smiled at him, gulping when she said the "o-word" and saw how his face dropped. Ray's age was a touchy subject; he hated that despite all his power and fame, even he couldn't escape time. He was slowly getting older and older with each passing day.

"I'm old?" He repeated, thinking he'd misheard her. Schwoz, Henry, Charlotte and Jasper were tight-lipped as they watched the couple go toe-to-toe. They were nervous, but they trusted her to get the job done and hopefully, Ray would remember how much he loved her before he started throwing fists.

"Yeah, I mean, you're so much older than me. What are you, like, over fifty?" She asked, deliberately exaggerating her estimation for maximum anger. She knew Ray's exact age like she knew her own, but she had to be cruel to be kind.

"Fif--did you just use the f-word?" Ray gawped at her in shock, thinking that his best friend was way out of order, but she just smirked and laughed in his face. 'Gwen, no, (y/n), Gwen, but (y/n)'s so pretty, no, I...love Gwen?' His mind was at war and the young woman was making it worse.

"Hey, look, I'm just saying that--" She laughed it off, but Ray was in arguing mode now.

"I'm thirty-five, (y/n). You know that." He said and patted her bare arms. She was so getting dressed after this was done. Not knowing how to carry on after that, she turned around and saw Jasper, Henry and Charlotte pointing to their hair and she got the message. Good idea.

"Well, I mean, I've noticed that you're starting to lose your hair a bit..." She told him and Ray whipped around with an angry face. 'Don't be scared, don't be scared.' She told herself and kept her expression light-hearted and disparaging.

"What did you just say to me?" He growled at her and seeing that he was sufficiently angry, she moved onto phase three.

"Oh hey, where's Gwen?" She asked innocently, but also like she was hiding something. She played off her mocking tone by looking around the room for the evil woman and Ray glared daggers at her back.

"Gwen happens to be getting ready to go rob a bank." He informed her and she nodded in understanding. This one would really get to him.

"Or...maybe she's not going to rob a bank. Maybe, and I'm just throwing this out there, she's going to meet some other guy." She suggested and sat down on the computer chair with her arms folded and one leg crossed over the other. It was a horrible thing to suggest, but it didn't matter, it wasn't real love anyway.

"She's going to rob a bank," Ray hissed in a childish voice, but the young woman had planted the seed of doubt in his mind and it was festering into a furious rampage. Much like what Henry had experienced, the pink love dream was fading into red as Ray succumbed to his anger.

"Or maybe...she's going to meet some guy named Rob...Banks." (y/n) hinted, a look of amusement on her face just so she could watch Ray get angry at her bemused attitude.

"That's stupid. That's not a guy's name." He frowned, saying it more to himself than anyone else. Hey, since when was (y/n) so beautiful with grubby pyjamas and messy hair?

"Uh, yeah it is. Get real, doofus. Gwen doesn't want you, she wants Robert J. Banks." She taunted him, following closely behind him as he stomped away from the computer. She wasn't going to let him escape and neither were the kids or Schwoz. They had the exits covered, Ray couldn't go anywhere. It was just him, (y/n) and their argument.

"Y'know why? I bet he's way better-looking than you." She hissed in his ear, standing her tiptoes so she could say it in a malicious whisper. Ray was tensed in anger and his skin shivered at the feeling of her breath on his ear; why was she so alluring all of sudden? Gwen...

"Not possible." He shouted in response as the love chemical fought to keep control of his brain. However, his real love was stronger and it was a battle that would surely be won by his heart.

"Yep. He's probably in his early thirties, y'know, young and handsome." She snapped back in a strong voice, daring him to get even angrier.

"That's enough, (y/l/n)," Ray ordered her, not liking this new insubordination from his best friend. How dare she question Gwen's love for him? But damn, she was hot when she was angry...

"Yeah, he's gonna kiss her so good, because why would she want you? A middle-aged, unattractive nobody who sucks at kissing! And trust me, I know! I've had experience and it was terrible, why would anybody want you?" She ranted, spewing cruel lies left, right and centre and the small part of his brain that was free turned furious at the thought of losing his soulmate over being a bad kisser, the girl he'd dreamed of kissing ever since they shared one and it was the final straw for Ray.

"Ahhhhh!" He yelled and lunged for her, grabbing her by the shoulders and the thin straps of her pyjama vest.

"Oh shit!" She squealed as Ray used his brute strength to throw her across the room, making her land harshly by the elevator. Her friends cringed as her ankles collided with a cabinet and she had to admit, that hurt. She took a few seconds to give her body the chance to repair her sprained ankle and numerous cuts, bruises and lumps. Okay, she had to keep going.

"Look, Ray, it's not my fault she likes younger guys." She panted and scrambled to her feet as Ray stormed towards her again. Ray seized her by the throat and she gulped at the fury in his eyes. Fury was good but it also was cutting off her air supply and crushing her windpipe.

"Oh, wow, look at that! A grey hair! Wow, there's loads, you're going grey, Raymond!" She smirked and ran her fingers through his hair even though movement made the burning of her lungs worse.

Not wanting to be mocked anymore, she was thrown to the floor again as Ray growled in rage. At least this time, all she had to heal was some bruised palms and a cracked larynx. She groaned as she laid at the teens' feet, but she couldn't say down for long.

"Keep going, you gotta make him madder!" Charlotte knelt beside her head and Henry agreed. Ray was mad, but he wasn't mad enough.

"Don't you think I'm working on that?---Whoaaa!" She was dragged away by her ankles as Ray continued to beat her up. The irritation of the tiles on her belly made small friction burns appear where her tank-top rode up, but that was the least of her worries. Dragging her to her feet again by her hair, Ray forced her to the ground again, so her battered body slid across the room. Okay, she really wanted this to stop now. Time to get clever.

"Come on, hard man, you ain't so bad! Come get me, dickhead!" She jeered at him and this time when he went to grab her throat, she ducked out the way and went to jump on his back. Ray was too experienced for that rookie move though and threw his torso back so she was bashed against the couch.

"This is so cool to watch!" Jasper told her as she bent over the back of the sofa and caught her breath. She'd never put her regeneration through this much suffering and she was starting to get the idea that too much usage could really wear her down.

"Oh, I'm glad you're enjoying my pain." She smiled sarcastically at the boy and patted his shoulder, but Jasper recoiled quickly when Ray came back. He grabbed her shoulders again and pushed her harshly against the steps at the back of the Man Cave, making the young woman wince.

"Oh, that's definitely a broken rib." She yelped, clutching her side in pain, but she had very little time to feel it pop back into shape as Ray charged at her. Raising her leg, she stopped him in his tracks before he could swipe at her and she pushed him back.

"She probably makes muffins for all the guys." She gasped at Ray and got back on her feet even though her body was begging her to do the smart thing and stay down.

"She only makes muffins for me!" Ray screamed at her with a snarling face, but she just gave him the finger and smirked.

"Well, that's not what I heard!" She shrieked back and that's when he lunged at her for the millionth time.

"Oh, god!" She squealed as Ray flipped her over in a somersault and her back flopped roughly on the tiles. Oh good, a slipped disk, how lovely. Yet another injury that her genes rushed to repair as she lay paralysed on the floor.

"(y/n)!" Henry ran to her side with Jasper and Charlotte close behind him. They helped her up when she told them to do so and she panted at the exertion. Blood was trickling from the corner of her mouth and for a brief second, she wondered if it would be better to give up before he killed her. No. She was going to snap him out of Gwen's control or she was going to die trying.

"Uh-oh..." Schwoz's fearful voice made her look to her best friend and her eyes widened as she watched him grab a blaster from a drawer. Shit, she was too close to the others.

"Ray, don't!" Charlotte begged him, but he couldn't stop his rage. Shoving herself away from her friends, (y/n) stood in front of them protectively and stared down the barrel of Ray's gun. She never thought she'd see him point one at her, but it would always be her before her friends, especially the kids.

"You know, Ray, I never thought I'd feel this way about you but I do. I can't help it, it's just been on my mind for a while now..." She started, giving Ray her best glare as she shrugged off the flinch from him cocking the blaster.

"(y/n), don't!" Jasper begged her, not believing she was being so reckless when her best friend had a gun in his hand. Yes, they had to make him angry, but this was too extreme, even for a super-regenerating heroine.

"I'm sorry, Ray, but I hate you!" She told him in an insulting tone and she kept her cool despite her thumping heart. She saw his eyes twinge in recognition as his finger stilled on the trigger and then...he groaned and started to shake.

"I think you did it! It's working!" Charlotte gasped as the young woman trembled and watched her best friend fall to the floor. Thank god, it was over.

"Ray?! Ray?!" Henry, Schwoz, Jasper and Charlotte scrambled to the man's side as she stayed leaning against the couch. She needed a minute.

"Can you hear us?" Charlotte asked him as he was led over to the supercomputer chair. (y/n) stumbled behind the group, trying to keep her nausea down as she tasted the metallic tang of blood on her tongue. She felt exhausted, but her hope was burning bright and that was what was keeping her going.

"Ray, are you okay?" Henry reiterated as his boss puffed in the chair and shook his head from side to side. He felt so groggy and confused, but at the same time, like he'd been set free.

"Ah, what happened?..." He asked his friends as he tried to remember what he'd been doing for the past twenty-four hours. All he could see was his friends crowding around him, well, not all of them, one was holding back.

"...I was in love with a woman, uh...Gwen!" Ray gasped as the woman's evil smirk flashed into his mind. He couldn't describe how it had felt to be controlled, it was like he wanted to stop his actions, but he couldn't. Everything that was him had been shoved aside for the mind-control to take over and he couldn't stop it.

"She gave you a love muffin," Schwoz explained and Ray looked confused. He remembered something about muffins, but things seemed so blurry, he wasn't thinking straight.

"Yeah and then, (y/n) had to make you really mad so your feelings of rage and anger would overpower your muffin-induced feelings of love," Henry recalled and Ray snapped his head to the boy at the mention of his girl. She wasn't with them so...

"(y/n)...where is she?" He demanded to know and Henry and Charlotte looked at each other nervously before parting ways. (y/n) was still stood against the couch, listening to every word. Ray's eyes grew wide from horror as he took in her appearance; her pyjamas were torn and grubby, blood-stained in some areas where she'd suffered a scrape and she still had dark circles under her eyes and dried blood in the corner of her mouth. He stood up rapidly and she offered him a small smile to make him calm down, but he couldn't stop his heart from breaking.

"What...happened?" He asked her as he cautiously stepped towards her and she loosely folded her arms across her tummy. She was still hurting badly from what had happened to her that day. The beating, the sobbing, the prospect of losing her home, but most of all, the fact that she was still just his friend, nothing more, even after everything she'd been through.

"I made you mad and, uh...you, well, got mad." She told him nervously and he choked up. He did this? The blood, the torn clothing, the bags under her eyes, he hurt her?

"I--I did this?" He stuttered, tears springing in his eyes as she sighed kindly. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know what he was doing. She wanted him to get angry and she knew that she'd be hurt. And it wasn't like her physical injuries were permanent, no, they had healed just fine, all that was left was her bleeding heart.

"I'm fine, honestly. Y'know, super-regeneration and stuff. I'll live." She giggled, even though she was feeling anything but humourous.

"Sweet girl, I--" Ray started and his fingers twitched to reach for her cheek, but before he could say something, anything, the sprocket opened and the witch stepped out.

"Quick, guys, go hide! Take care of (y/n)!" Ray turned to his friends and gently guided the young woman into Henry's arms so he could take her to behind the couch. His touch was so tender to what it had been five minutes ago.

"Okay, Ray, I'm about to leave. It should take me about, hmmm...twenty minutes to rob the bank." Gwen told the superhero as she sauntered down the steps. She didn't see any other movement in the room, thankfully and the team tucked themselves into their hiding places.

"Aw, that sounds great." Ray smiled at her, even though the mere sight of her made his stomach churn. God, that must've been a strong muffin to distract his heart from the love he felt for his best friend. She was perfect and Gwen was so...blergh.

"Oh hey, how do you like my ponytail?" The criminal asked him, ruffling her hair up seductively and fluttering her eyelashes at the superhero. There was only one person he wanted to see do that, he was sure of that now.

"Oh...I love it. I mean it's really cute and just so--" Ray brought his hand up to her head with a charming smile on his face. Gwen accepted his touch, but the moment his fingertips got to her hair, he yanked the ponytail clean off.

"You just ripped my ponytail off my head!" Gwen glared at him, but her sneer dropped when she saw how Ray wasn't looking at her with love, he was looking at her with hate.

"You're not in love with me anymore." She gasped and suddenly felt like she was trapped.

"Nope, not anymore, bitch." (y/n) stood up from her hiding place with Henry and Jasper and Gwen gulped when she realised that she was outnumbered. She wasn't in charge anymore.

"Sorry, Gwen," Charlotte smirked as the woman backed up and scanned the room for an escape room. Oh, she was definitely panicking now.

"How'd you like dem muffins?" Jasper quipped, making his friends smirk. Oh, Jasper, he was goofy but loveable.

"And now, Gwen, I'd be honoured to escort you to prison," Ray told her, but she'd planned for this. The first rule of being a criminal: have a backup plan and Gwen's was particularly sneaky. She held up her phone in Ray's face, making everyone step back. What was she planning?

"Look out!"

"She's got a phone!" Jasper cried, holding his hands up like a karate master. Yeah, like he could chop his way out of trouble.

"So, who cares?" (y/n) seethed as she kept her glare fixed on her rival. She would be her greatest enemy for a long time.

"You better care, bitch. Because if I tap right here, it's gonna send a post out telling the whole world that Ray Manchester is Captain Man, Henry Hart is Kid Danger and silly little (y/n) (y/l/n) is Miss Danger." Gwen threatened the three supers as she stepped up to the tubes. Oh, that was evil, the perfect escape plan.

"Anything about me?" Jasper raised his hand and asked. He was curious to see if she had thought of him too, but she didn't care about a stupid teenage boy.

"You let me go, and I'll keep your secret. Deal?" Gwen offered the three and they descended into whispers as they thought about what to do.

"Do we have a deal or don't we?" Gwen demanded harshly, leaving them almost no time to think about their situation. It wasn't really a deal, more of a forced ceasefire.

"Yeah, we've got a deal...for now." Ray hissed at her, seeing no other way to keep himself and his Man Cave family safe.

"But someday, you're going to jail," Henry promised her. He wouldn't rest until he saw that cruel face behind bars for what she had done to his friends.

"I doubt it," Gwen smirked as a tube came down around her. She had the upper hand and she knew it.

"Buh-bye, boys and girls!" She said, expecting to blast off, but of course, the tube wouldn't work unless you said the magic words, which she didn't know.

"Off I go!... Okay, what words do I have to say to activate the tube suckage?" She asked the giggling group, feeling pretty annoyed at how foolish she was appearing.

"Oh yeah...it's uh, diamonds, rubies, lift me...tubies." (y/n) joked, struggling to keep a straight face. She wouldn't believe that, would she?

"Thank you, maybe you're not as stupid and useless as I first thought...Diamonds, rubies, lift me, tubies!" Gwen yelled and everyone burst out laughing as she stayed on her spot. Oh god, that was a good one.

"Oh dear, Gwen. Looks like you're definitely as stupid and useless as I first thought." (y/n) mocked her through her giggles, loving that she was able to get one up on the woman one last time.

"I will tap this button, I swear I will tap it!" Gwen hissed and everyone straightened themselves out. No more joking around, it wasn't worth the risk.

"Uh, just say, up the tube," Charlotte told her reluctantly and Gwen followed her advice. She was gone in a flash and they could only hope that she'd keep her word.

"Whew. This whole thing was insane." Charlotte sighed as they relaxed, although no one noticed how (y/n) had gone quiet. Really quiet.

"Yeah, no kidding." Henry breathed out, glad that it was finally over, even though it wasn't.

"Well, at least we all learned something valuable," Schwoz told them, making them look at him in confusion.

"What'd we learn?" Jasper asked, thinking that they'd learnt nothing.

"We all learned that no matter how strong love is...anger is stronger." He told them and he didn't realise that it made the young woman behind the group hyperventilate more.

"Good point," Henry said, thinking that it was fair play. That's technically what they had learned, but it wasn't very comforting for a woman who had nearly lost everything.

"Hey, (y/n/n), what do you--oh my god, are you okay?" Charlotte turned to joke around with her, but her happy mood soon died when she saw how pale her friend was. Everyone else turned around to see their friend panicking and shaking and they realised that a night's worth of no sleep, just worry was catching up to her.

"(y/n), are you okay?" Ray asked her again and reached out to touch her, but she was already walking backwards away from his reach and the gang.

"Uh, no---uh, I...don't know. I just...need to be alone for a while," She stuttered, holding her hand to her forehead as she stumbled up the steps to a tubepad.

"Sweet girl, let me come with--" Ray tried to follow her, but she looked at him in terror and it glued him to the floor. She'd never looked at him like that, not once. Was their friendship not strong enough to survive this?

"--No, I just, ugh...up the tube!" She cried out before she had to explain herself and she left them all standing there in confusion. She rode higher and higher and higher until she reached her little slice of heaven, her happy place.

"Guys, what do we do? We gotta help her!" Jasper exclaimed, looking to Henry and Charlotte for answers since they had known her longer than he had. But just because he'd only been working at Junk-N-Stuff for like, two weeks, it didn't mean he cared any less.

"Guys, she wants to be alone," Ray told them in a defeated voice and sloped off to go slouch on the sofa. He was her best friend and she didn't want him, so how could they hope to help? He'd lost her, he'd finally fucked up enough to push her away and that broke him.

"Wait, there is one thing we can do..." Henry speculated, looking to Charlotte with a spark in his eyes. It was risky and possibly dangerous, something they'd only drafted together for dire emergencies, which made it perfect for now. Maybe it would work.

"You don't mean..." Charlotte gawped at him, not believing he was willing to go for it. They'd only planned it on a boring homework night, like, two years ago, it was daring and precarious. Was he sure?

"Charlotte...lobsters." Henry confirmed, making Schwoz and Jasper look at him like he was an alien. Lobsters?

"Henry, just leave it, she said she wants--" Ray's gruff grumbling was cut off by Henry, who was determined to do something, once and for all.

"Ray. I know what I'm doing, trust me. I'm gonna go talk to her." Henry told his boss firmly, his tone leaving no room for arguing. He'd thought about this plan long and hard. He wasn't going to let this ship sink, not on his watch.

"Charlotte, five minutes." He murmured to the girl as he walked past but she knew what to do. If they were doing this, then she was ready. Henry jumped up to the tubepad and waited for it to come down. He knew where (y/n) would be, she always went there when she was sad.

"Up the tube!" He yelled like she had done minutes before and with a whoosh of air, he was on his way. The clock was ticking.

~On the roof~

Project Lobster was a tricky thing and the brainchild of Charlotte and Henry for when they reached the point of crisis. Two years of watching Ray pine for (y/n) and (y/n) pine for Ray had led them to this, extreme measures. They just hoped it worked.

Henry stepped out onto the roof and sure enough, there was (y/n). She was leaning on the ledge, looking out at the city with soft, teary eyes and she sensed that she wasn't alone. This was her spot, she knew when something was up.

"Y'know, Ray showed me this. Valentine's Night, almost two years ago." She called out to the boy, not even having to turn around to know it was him. She could recognise Henry's footsteps easily, even if he was treading carefully.

"The roof?" He asked tentatively after shaking off his shock, confused as to why she liked it up here so much. It was windy and baren, but he hadn't seen the best bit yet.

"No, dummy. This." She gestured to the cityscape before her and she wondered if she had the same look of amazement that Henry had on his face when she first saw the view. His mouth was open like a goldfish as he took in the golden sky, streaked with burnt orange as the sun sank on the horizon. The city didn't seem to be so noisy all the way up here and the park was tranquil, no blaring, teenage music or fights from angry adults, just calm.

"I never knew Swellview could look like this." Henry breathed out, making her chuckle sadly. It had that effect on everyone.

"Yeah, that was my reaction." She whispered, keeping her melancholy gaze on her fingers as they rested on the wall.

"Hey...are you okay?" Henry asked, wanting to be gentle even though he was aware that he couldn't stay up here forever. Charlotte was keeping Ray busy downstairs and he had to stick to the plan.

"I wish people would stop asking, 'cause I...don't know." She told the boy, letting out a sigh and watching a flock of birds fly over their heads. Life become so complicated that she couldn't make heads or tails of it anymore.

"Tell me," Henry instructed her, although it wasn't a command, more of a request from a concerned friend.

"Henry...it's stupid." She exhaled, not wanting to burden a young boy with what was bringing her down. She had been holding it in for nearly six years, she could hold it a bit longer.

"No, it's not. Say it, it's okay." The teen grabbed her hand and squeezed it, more than happy to be the one supporting her for a change. She had been there for him, now he was there for her.

"It's just...today, hearing Ray talk about marriage and kissing her and loving her...it got to me," she said it in the simplest way she could. Emotions are difficult things and they're often so complex, they can't be put into words.

"It was the love muffin." Henry reminded her, even though she knew that already. She'd had more than enough of damn love muffins for an entire lifetime.

"Yeah, I know, but it made me realise that one day, I'm actually going to have to watch him walk down the aisle and it won't be me on his arm." She choked up, thinking about how she'd always been the friend, always been the shoulder for him to cry on, always there to pick up the pieces...but never the girlfriend, the one he wanted like that.

"Henry, I can't stand by and watch him marry someone else—I'm not strong enough. I know I pretend like I don't care but I do. I really, fucking do and it's killing me that he'll never see how much I love him. I want him so much and I can't keep lying, not anymore. " She confessed, letting a tear slip down her cheek. She was so fed up with crying, it was surprising that she had any tears left after sobbing for nearly two days straight.

It was true though, she had been through so much with him: meeting Henry, then Charlotte, breaking into their school as fake teachers, nearly getting eaten by a space bug, meeting Schwoz again, watching Henry become a man-beast, battling Invisible Brad, twice, giving Ray his childhood back, nearly dying from letting a psycho into the Man Cave on a tour, defeating the Wall Dogs, being hypnotised by Dr Minyak, defeating the Time Jerker, the Christmas Kiss, superpowers, an opposite universe, Ox Pox, the return of The Toddler and Jasper's arrival. No one else had stuck with him through all of that, did it mean nothing to him that she had?

"So don't." Henry's words broke through her memories and she looked up at him in bewilderment. What was he going on about?

"What do you mean?" (y/n) asked him, looking at him in suspicion, but he wouldn't give anything away.

"Look, just come back down to the Man Cave in...three minutes and I'll explain everything then." He told her quickly after glancing at his watch and ignored the way her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Why?" She looked him up and down, but couldn't pick anything up except that he was nervous or excited about something. Weird.

"It doesn't matter, but you have to come down in three minutes exactly, promise?" He gave her his best begging look and the offer of a promise was too good for her to resist.

"Okay, I promise." She nodded, seeing that this was important to him. She could do as she was told, it wasn't like she had anything better to do.

"Good. Three minutes." Henry repeated the time again and then turned to leave her alone. He stepped on the tubepad and braced himself for the journey down. He just hoped this would play out perfectly.

~Back in the Man Cave~

"And that's why an octopus has three hearts." Charlotte finished recounting her story to Ray, Jasper and Schwoz, the latter of whom were very interested in what she had to say. Ray, on the other hand, was too depressed to care about octopi and their hearts, he only had one and it was broken.

"Fascinating." He grumbled, his head resting on his palm as he slumped over on the couch. As per Project Lobster's details, Charlotte had made him shuffle around the half-moon shape until he had his back to the tubes and now, he was in position for the big finale.

"Sup, people?" Henry greeted his friends as he came down the tube on time, landing with his heart racing. This was happening and it wasn't a drill, he just had to stay calm and work with Charlotte.

"Hey, how'd it go?" The young girl asked him, Ray not even bothering to turn around. Well, that was good, that's what they wanted.

"Oh, you know, she's still not ready to come down yet," Henry replied loudly but held up three fingers to indicate to Charlotte the time they had to play with. Three minutes on the clock and they were counting down fast.

"Is she finished with me? Does she want to leave?" Ray asked his sidekick in a monotone voice as his heart clenched in pain from the thought of losing her. He didn't want her to go, not like this.

"Uhhh, she didn't say, why?" The boy replied, signalling to Charlotte for her to take over as he silenced the tube alarm. He couldn't make it completely silent, but he was sure that without the loud beeping, Ray wouldn't notice a thing.

"'Cause I've screwed up the one good thing I have and now my best friend hates me." Ray gulped down the lump in his throat and rubbed his eyes to stop the tears from flowing. He loved her so much, more than life itself and now she was gonna leave... Two minutes to go.

"Hey, Ray, what makes you love (y/n) so much? I mean, she's just a girl and you've gone out with hundreds of those." Charlotte prompted him, leaving it open for him to ramble to his heart's content. Schwoz and Jasper were very confused and wanted to say something, but a stern look from Henry and a finger on his lips told them that any interruption could spell disaster, so they buttoned it.

"She's not just a girl, she's perfect and cute and smart. She knows how to make me laugh and she's not boring or big-headed. All the other girls are just dumb or blinded by Captain Man, but not my (y/n). She sees me, she sees Ray..." Ray argued, hating that Charlotte had called (y/n) just a girl. She was so much more than that.

"How did you meet?" The teen girl moved on to her next question, keeping the time in the back of her mind.

"In a coffee shop. Some jerk had broken in and held her captive, but by the time I'd gotten there, she'd already hit him over the head with a chair and dealt with everything. She was so shy and small but...beautiful. I asked her to come work for me." Ray explained, a soft smile on his face. That was the day his life became brighter, when a twenty-year-old college student beat some petty criminal up for spilling coffee down her shirt.

"Right, that's cute. So, she's special to you?" Henry asked the question this time and he came to stand with Charlotte, Jasper and Schwoz at the couch. There was nothing left for them to do now. One minute on the clock and it was all up to Ray.

"Yeah, of course, she's special. She's stuck around through everything I've made her do and she's never complained. I make her fix my crap and wait up and do my laundry and now I take her into dangerous fights, for god's sake. What kind of a job is that for someone like her? A gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, young woman. She's so outta my league and I know she deserves someone better who can give her a good life, but I can't help it...I'm in love with (y/n)."

"What?" Zero seconds on the clock.

Ray had shut out the world and all the noises it forced onto him, including the whoosh of a tube coming down with a weary young woman inside. She had stepped out of the glass casing just in time for her to hear the last bit and it was her gobsmacked utterance that cut through his daydream.

"What?" Ray gasped, shooting up like he'd been burnt by the couch and whipped around to see (y/n) looking at him with a wonderstruck expression. Henry, Charlotte, Schwoz and Jasper were frozen with excited trepidation; no one dared to move a muscle. Ray looked at his best friend with absolute fear from his loose-lipped admittance and felt his heart explode in panic.

"You love me?" She asked softly like she couldn't believe it herself. And she couldn't.

She hadn't misheard and a pinch on the inside of her arm told her she wasn't dreaming, he'd actually said it. He'd actually said the words she'd only ever imagined in her wildest fantasies.

"Wha..how--how much of that did you h-hear?" He asked her, feeling the most scared he had ever been in his life. He'd rather fight all his enemies at once than face her like this. He could practically feel the rejection coming.

"Enough..." she answered carefully, treating the situation with the utmost care like if she clung to this moment too hard, it would break.

"Listen, (y/n), it was a mis--" She couldn't bear to let him finish, not this time. No more bouncing around the truth, not anymore.

"No, you listen to me, Raymond Manchester. No more lies. I want the truth because I think that we aren't honest enough with each other and...we both deserve clarity after so much confusion." She told him calmly and clearly, even though she was feeling anything but calm. Absolutely fucking terrified was the correct way to describe how she was feeling or the closest she could get.

"The truth?" He repeated, looking her straight in the eyes. He'd known the truth for a long time and it had been his closely guarded secret, but not anymore.

"It's all I want." She nodded, leaving him to make the next move. The move that would change everything.

"The truth is (y/n) (y/l/n)...I love you, so much it hurts." Ray whispered and the world stopped. His heart was thumping and bracing itself for loneliness and a life without its soulmate, whilst hers was soaring and reaching out to grab on and never let go. This was real and it was everything she'd ever asked for.

"Oh..." She gasped quietly, not knowing how else to react at first. Her mind took a second to let the confession settle in and for Ray, he took it as her being disappointed.

His face broke away as he bit back tears again. So this was what they meant by heartbreak, it wasn't seeing her with other guys or missing her when she wasn't around, it was knowing that he'd made an error of judgement and it cut deep.

Snapping out of her shock, (y/n) stepped forwards and looked at his crumpled face. He needn't worry so much, she was right next to him, where she knew she belonged.

"Don't look so sad, it's a good thing because...I love you too." Her face erupted into a smile when Ray's gaze shot to her face with so much shock, he looked comical. He couldn't think of anything to say that could triumph over what she had just told him so he just wrapped his arms around her shoulders and brought her into a warm embrace. The first of many that told them that they were home in each other's arms.

It was then that they both realised that their friends were shouting, clapping, whistling and dancing in celebration as they congratulated the couple and themselves for getting together at last.

"Finally!" Henry told Ray and clapped him on the back as (y/n) briefly let go of her doofus to hug Charlotte, Jasper and even Schwoz. This was their victory as much as hers and Ray's and it felt so unbelievably good to not keep their secrets anymore.

"Wait, how long have you lot known about him loving me?" (y/n) asked the group, who smirked at the baffled couple. They had drifted into each other's arms again and for the first time in forever, neither one was shy or embarrassed about needing the other's touch.

"Uh, since the moment I met you." Henry and Charlotte said together, making the couple chuckle. That was, like, two years ago, how long had this been going on?

"I've watched you two pretend not to love each other for eight years or more. You are both very blind." Schwoz shrugged nonchalantly, acting like it was no big deal, but it was.

"Eig--you never said anything, doofus!" (y/n) slapped Ray's shoulder playfully as she leaned her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating and now she knew—it was beating for her.

"Neither did you!" He argued back and pressed his lips to the top of her head. God, the girl of his dreams loved him as he loved her, he hadn't been chasing a hopeless fantasy for all these years, it was real. He didn't know who he had pleased to deserve this, but he wasn't going to let her go again.

"Sorry...I thought you loved all those girls you dated, you never seemed to notice me. I just assumed that everything I feel for you was one-sided." She confessed, absentmindedly drawing patterns on his white shirt with her finger. Finally, she could enjoy having those massive arms around her and not feel weird for thinking her best friend was hot.

"They meant nothing to me, I promise. I tried to distract myself, 'cause I... I thought you were out of my league since you're so damn gorgeous." His baritone voice made chills go down her spine, and she gasped at his words. Coming from him, they made desire pool in her lower stomach and she decided that she wouldn't mind hearing them for the rest of her life.

"Ray, I look like shit." She chuckled bashfully and gestured to the pyjamas that still covered her body. They were wrecked, bloody, torn and dirty and they made her feel anything but gorgeous.

"Nah, you look beautiful." He smiled down at her and loved the way her cheeks flared up with a pink blush. So cute and all his.

"Well, Project Lobster was a success." Henry shook hands with Charlotte, who definitely agreed. If they had known that it would work this well, they'd have done it a lot sooner.

"What the hell is Project Lobster?" Ray asked the teens as he cradled his girl to his chest. His girl, he'd been saying that for a while now, but he hadn't realised how right he'd been. It felt right, so very right and he knew that he'd say it for the rest of his life if she'd let him.

"Henry and I came up with a plan, nearly two years ago, to get you two to say I love you." Charlotte began to explain and the couple listened eagerly.

"We would get you both alone and then you walk in on the other person saying it and then you'd be all gross and stuff." Henry brushed over the basics of the plan, which made it seem a lot more simple than it had been. It was like a Mission Impossible task and they were still reeling from the fact that they had managed to pull it off.

"But, you both swore us to secrecy and threatened to kill us if we revealed how you felt, so we just saved it for an emergency..." Charlotte trailed off, having said everything that made up their devious plan and Ray and (y/n) nodded with smiles on their faces.

"We're very grateful but, I have one question." (y/n) said, a small, puzzled frown on her face. It wasn't a big thing, but she'd never live it down if she didn't find an answer.

"Sure, what is it?" Henry asked, curious as to what she wanted to know.

"Why did you call it Project Lobster?" The young woman asked and everyone nodded at her question. It was a weird name.

"Yeah, why didn't you call it Project Get (y/n) and Ray Get Together?" Jasper suggested, even though the name was far too long and complicated for a top-secret mission.

"Because he's her lobster!" Charlotte exclaimed and everyone laughed at their silliness. It was true, he was her lobster and she was his. Cute.

"Well, I'm glad that I don't have to watch you two be all pouty anymore." Schwoz rolled his eyes and high-fived Jasper. He'd worked for Captain Man for two weeks and he was sick of it too.

"Yeah, it's over." (y/n) smiled up at Ray and he smiled down at her in return. No more secrets, no more hiding, just their love for each other. Only, it wasn't quite over just yet.

"Um, Ray, this is the part where you put us out of our misery and kiss her." Henry hissed in his boss's ear and the man blushed at the four smirks being sent his way. Oh yeah, he forgot about that part. Ray looked at (y/n), who had pink dusted all over her cheeks, but there wasn't a sign of disgust or rejection on her features, just happiness and love.

"Can I?" He breathed out, wanting to make sure that she was okay with this even though she was already on her tiptoes and leaning in.

"Of course." She told him and her eyes flickered closed as their lips met.

It was different to their first one, it wasn't about boundaries or trying to keep themselves under control, it was just them and they were free to show their love. Her hands tangled in his hair as he cupped her face to tilt her jaw open. Free to explore, Ray ran his tongue across her bottom lip and at last, he truly knew that she tasted like honey, just like he'd guessed. Before, he'd barely gotten a chance to confirm it or not and it had been so many months, the sweet taste had almost left his mind. Now, he'd never forget again.

His lips were still perfectly soft, just like she remembered and they made a shiver go down her spine as he went further than they did last time. Mint and bubble gum burst into her mouth for the second time in her life and she practically purred in pleasure, willing to him all of her and more.

Sadly though, the burning of their lungs said otherwise and that pesky instinct that told them they needed to breathe forced them apart. Reluctantly, Ray retreated from the kiss and pulled back to rest his forehead against hers as they panted.

"Wow," he chuckled breathlessly as he thought of what to say. Henry, Jasper, Schwoz and Charlotte had seen enough of the kiss to realise that they needed some privacy now and they all tiptoed away whilst they were still wrapped up in each other. Not that they minded, they didn't need anyone else anymore.

"I know." She giggled back, feeling drunk from the lack of oxygen and all the love lifting her heart.

"You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He confessed, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones and down to her lips. So soft, he just wanted to have her again and again and he knew he'd never get tired.

"Well, I've wanted to kiss you again since last Christmas." She told him, trailing a hand down his chest, igniting his skin through his shirt as she felt his muscles. God, he had been pining just as much as her and he felt so stupid as he realised that every time he'd wanted to tell her everything, she would've accepted him with open arms, not rejected him like he'd feared.

"I love you so much." He told her again, wishing that he had said it sooner since they could have been so happy already if he had. Still, he now had the rest of his life to make up for it and he promised himself that he'd tell her every day. He had always told himself that she deserved the perfect guy, who would treat her like a queen and now, that was him.

"I love you too. With all of my heart." She mumbled and brushed her lips against his in a gentle kiss. It was meant to tease him, meaning she giggled when he tried to chase her touch as she pulled away.

"Tease." He murmured in her ear as she smiled, although she was soon whimpering when he trailed his hot lips down the side of her throat and his hands ran down her curves to her hips. Five years of unspoken desire was surging to the surface, leaving them at the mercy of their lust. Now, she was actually glad that she was wearing such thin pyjamas. They allowed him to dip under her flimsy tank top and feel the soft skin of her stomach. God, she was burning up from the inside, out.

"Only for you, boyfriend." She teased further and bit her lip when she felt his hold on her tighten. A label, finally, something that could sum up what they had with two simple names.

"My girlfriend, mine," Ray whispered into the spot just under her ear and knew that it was the thing he'd wanted to hear all his life.

Boyfriend and girlfriend. That would suit them just fine.

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