#nick language: you're not important go away
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lunarwritesthings · 7 months ago
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☆– Anything For You –☆
Paring: Noah Sebastian x Gn!Reader
Fandom: Bad Omens
Request: Yes
Prompt: #11, “Who did this to you?”
Summary: You come backstage after Bad Omens finished their sets. Noah sees bruises on you and it ready to burn the world and the dumbass that hurt you.
A/N: I apologize for how long this took. Life has been rough recently and I also apologize for the writing in this. I tried to write this with writer's block.
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It started like any other show of the tour. I was standing in the pit, something Noah was not a fan of. He was aware how crazy some fans could get during concerts, however he allowed it as long as I was at the barricade and right in the middle so that he could always see me.
Everything was going perfect, until the boy got on stage. A few fans around me started pushing, shoving, and elbowing me in an attempt to get closer to the band and the barricade. I tried to keep a hold on the barricade and keep my attention on Noah, however I could see the concern in his eyes.
I gave him an reassuring smile letting him know I was okay and to focus on the show. It seemed to be enough for Noah because he relax and continue with the show. However little did either of us know it was about to get worse.
The fans around me were staring to get rougher with their actions. I could feel area around my chest and ribs that were hurting quite a lot. There was one final, hard elbow to my ribs that knocked all the air out of me.
I quickly waved a security guard over so I get backstage quicker. Once I got backstage, I knew Noah immediately saw the bruises that were forming. "You look beaten to hell and back," Noah mutters, taking in the bruising with his sharp eyes. His eyes burning with anger.
I could tell by his body language he was detailed to find dumbass that hurt me. Noah holds me close, protectively. "What did they do to you? Who did this to you?" Noah exclaimed, grabbing my arm tightly. I winced, remembering how I had been shoved and elbowed during the set.
The level of Noah's voice grabbed the attention of the other who were prepared to hold Noah back if necessary. I briefly explained what happened not wanting Noah to get angrier. "There was a group of fans that were around me that got excited when you guys got on stage."
The mere thought of anyone hurting me sends Noah into a rage, his fists clenching and his knuckles turning white. My safety is one of the most important things to him, and he's not going to stand for anyone messing with me.
I watched quietly as Jolly and the Nicks got closer to Noah. His body language was a dead give away he was bound to rush outside of find the fans. Yet when Noah realized what was happening, he took a few deep breaths and calmed down.
Noah turned his attention to my bruises and cuts. "Let's go get you cleaned up." Before I could respond Noah gently grabbed my hands and pulled me towards the tour bus. Unknowingly Jolly and the Nicks stood back and watch me and Noah walk away with smirks on their faces.
Sometime all you need is a best friend that with make sure you're alright.
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24kmar · 7 months ago
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𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 (𝐏𝐭.2 𝐨𝐟" 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐚")
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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Toxic!Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: This takes place after the argument matt and y/n had. She finds herself wondering if what she did was right. This then leads to her self reflecting, then one night at an influencer party she went with tara (tara yummy) she sees matt. What happens when she realizes that he just wants to love her.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Reader is kind of a bitch 😭 but she redeems herself 🙏🏻, suggestive content, language, ANGST with a happy ending, toxic situationship, reader being in denial about loving matt, jealous matt, drugs(weed), MDNI, let me know if theres more!!
Readers perspective
I sighed as i shut the door to matts place. Why did he have to make this so difficult?. I made it clear this was just fucking when it started, so why now did he feel the need to make it an issue? I mean it was working so why not leave it that way, right? Dont fix whats not broken.
I didnt understand why he was being so fucking sensitive. 'Fuck this' i thought as i got into my car and drove out of the driveway. I really needed a blunt after this shit.
As i pulled into my driveway my phone buzzed, 'Fuck' i thought as i suspected it was matt. But no, it was... nick?
As i saw his contact appear on my phone, i opened our messages. To which read "Hey y/n/n did something happen between you and matt orrr?". What the actual fuck? "Why?" i texted back to which he replied "cause hes a fucking wreck in his room rn and hes not talking to me or chris" followed by "and his doors locked".
Guilt. Immediate guilt is what i felt when i read that. Did i really do this to him? Nah, couldnt have been me, i mean how much importance could a fuck buddy hold. Not much....right? Some days passed by as i heard nothing from matt.
Was this the end of us? For some reason that thought caused a pang in my chest. But why? "Heartburn or some shit' i thought, quickly dissmissing the thought and shoving it into to the back of my brain.
Tara had texted me begging me to come with her to some influencer party. ' Why not' i thought, god knows i needed it. Any chance at drinking and smoking i got right now i would take. After all thats happend with matt, i desperately need it.
I decided to wear this outfit to the party with boots. As me and tara got off the car as we arrived to the party, i realized how packed the house was. And loud as shit. Im gonna regret coming here.
I got a drink immediately as i got in the house. As tara ventured off into the house, i stayed in a corner desperately wanting to leave. Then some guy, brian, brandon, braydon? Some shit like that, came of to me. "Oh brother' i thought as this fuck boy walked over to me.
"What's good, im braylon." he said while smirking. Ick. I just shrugged looking away, not wanting to interact with this moron. "Cmon baby, dont be like that" he said tugging on my wrist. " yo back the fuck up" i hissed yanking my wrist out of his grasp. "Dont be a fucking bitch about it," he snarled "if you're gonna dress like a slut, dont be suprised when you get treated like one". Oh fuck no. "The fuck you just say to me" i scowled sizing him up. "I said-" he started, but getting cut off by Matt. "Back the fuck up, man." He said pulling me behind him while getting in between me and braylon.
"What? This slut your bitch?" He chuckled. Oh fuck. "Shit is about to go down" i thought as i saw matts jaw tense and his fists clench. "The fuck you just-" matt started as i cut him off. "Drop it matt, hes not fucking worth it" i said through gritted teeth getting nervous. "Yeah listen to your bitch" braylon continued as i sent him a warning glare. Feeling matt stepping closer to braylon, i grabbed him a pulled him back. "Matthew, fucking drop it, now" i said getting infront of him pushing him backwards then turning him around to walk infront of me as i pushed on his back to make him walk. Leading him to a secluded room in the house.
"Look, i know i fucked up with what i said. I shouldnt have done that and i get it if you're still mad at. I shouldnt have put you in that position-" he started. "Matt, im sorry" i cut him off, again. "What?" His brows furrowed.
"I shouldnt have said those awful things to you," i said taking a deep breath as i was about to confess to this kid "i was just fucking terrified at the fact that i may have been catching feelings" i said looking up at him, searching for any emotion.
"I am so fucking sorry-" i got cut of by a kiss. As he pulled away, we both starting laughing like fucking idiots. "You like me" he smiled like a middle school boy who just had his first kiss. "Shut up, i take it back" i laughed, rolling my eyes jokingly.
"Denial is a river in egypt babe" he shrugged. "Oh fuck you" i laughed shoving him.
Its safe to say, we weren't just fuck buddy's anymore. Maybe this wasnt a bad idea.
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creedslove · 4 months ago
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This is going to be really stupid but I felt really weird about the new photos of Pedro and Dakota at the Stevie Nicks concert.
A part of me is like 😭✨😭❤️❤️ because he's gorgeous but I had to go for a walk for a while and get off social media because I was feeling bad and I don't have to.
I think it is also important to step away and know how to set limits on the hours in which one uses networks.
I am aware that this is ridiculous but the fact that this has bothered me in some way or made me feel bad has more to do with me and that I should set limits with the content I consume.
I belong to a great fandom, Pedro's, and I would be very happy for him if he is happy, but I wouldn't want to ruin how nice it is to be in the fandom through harmful and toxic behavior.
I wanted to vent.
Pedro genuinely looks happy and handsome and he seems to be having a great time, he deserves it a lot.
❤️❤️❤️
Hey baby, first of all, it's very sweet of you to chose me to vent, it makes me feel glad to know you feel safe enough to vent about that and I promise you you won't be judged at all ❤️
It's not stupid though, it's relevant for you and it's your feelings, your feelings are involuntary, you cannot choose to feel a certain way or another, so it's okay baby...
I guess everyone felt a lil jealous of Pedro today, even if we all know they are good friends, they did look like a couple in some pictures, but that's alright, he is very affectionate and I guess physical touch is his love language, she isn't the first one he touches like that and it won't be the last one, and you are right about how happy he was, it's incredible to see him having so much and clearly enjoying the concert around his friends, it was very sweet.
I guess what we all felt jealous of was the fact we wanted to be in that situation, to hang out with him, have him all dorky, sweet and excited ❤️ however, feeling that intensity of jealousy the way you did, in which it made you feel bad and you had to step away from social media for a while isn't normal, but I'm glad to see you are aware of that as well, I am no expert, but I guess it reflects some type of emotional void in which you try to fill it with Pedro? It's good to look up into that honey, so you can see what can be done about it and prevent yourself from getting hurt like that... But at the same time, as I said, feelings are involuntary, and you can't help feeling that way...
I really hope you'll feel better about all this and that it won't happen again, I know how painful it is to be jealous (I was a very jealous person when I was a teenager) and I used to feel jealous of everyone, famous people, my friends, family members etc, and it's a horrible feeling, because I very often put people in an uncomfortable situation (my friends) and I suffered so much, so I get it, on a level I get what you felt baby 💘
I'm always here for you if you want to vent or talk about it, I can't promise to answer your ask that fast because I haven't spent a long time here lately, but whenever I can, I will reply! I love you, you are not alone honey! ❤️❤️❤️ You're always welcome to stop by, okay? Love you 😘
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plantsarepeopletoo · 1 year ago
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Only Friends Music EP3 (1/2)
What am I to you?
Another installment of the Only friends music series. The details continue to be amazing, all praise JoJo. 
Quick recap, music is used in three different ways:
Just background music (Background) - It’s important and creates an atmosphere, like using Disco Frog for Mew and Cheum’s chat at the bar. These I will not use unless I see a theme or something important later.
Playing with Music (Playful) - It’s like body language, the music will pause, start up, move along faster or slower. It's intentionally moving with what is happening on screen.
Verbal/Vocal - Music that is telling us things. It could be songs that have names that seem important or have lyrics that may or may not be in the show. If there are lyrics I will include them, but will specify if they are in OF, and where they start and stop.
Master List here, in my pinned post. These will be long and split into parts, mostly because of lyrics and Music players. Written after EP4 came out, so some EP4 spoilers.
As always, thank you @rocketturtle4 and @shouldiusemyname for help editing and song lyrics.
[1/4]
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Song: Eyes in the Back of My Head by Katori Walker Scene: Nick asking twitter about Friends with benefits/Nick and Boston NC scenes Type: Vocal
The full song starts with Nick asking twitter, “Can friends with benefits turn into lovers?”. It ends when Boston lays on the bed. Did Nick finish? Who knows. Not that Nick is here for that right now, let me explain.
Lyrics:
Okay, let's try this I wish I had eyes in the back of my head I been workin' on my pride but the rest of me cares Every time I feel alive, it be love in the air You're my center, don't fold like it's vanity fair Every time that I be down then I'll be runnin' to you It's ironic that I'm scared but I'm callin' you boo Please don't ghost me Love me, hug me, hold me See me, grow me I see whole thing, bragging, boasting To all of my ** Workin' on my pride I been workin' on my pride, yeah I been really scared but a ** really tryin', yeah Never bite my tongue when it's something on my mind, yeah Baby you a gem, I'll never leave you undermined, yeah Pray that's just a phase and we get it back aligned, yeah Oooh Love, pray you stay around me forever and never leave me We'll go together forever, I know you need me It ain’t hard to love you, I promise that shit is easy I can see the future so vivid, I think it's 3D Stay the night forever and ever, I think I'm needy Bein' my reflection, my mirror, I know you see me See me Need me Easy Hug me Love me Trust me Love me Love me
Nick’s fallen hard, so hard, he’s using sex to plead with Boston to need him, love him, SEE him. Nick loves Boston, knows him better now, knows he can’t step out of the narrow box Boston has put him in, but now he’s cornered. Even though Nick sees himself in Boston, he has to keep his pride in check so he can play the submissive cute boy Boston wants. 
“You're down for me. You can’t survive a day without me. I guess my status will be promoted soon.” He knows he’s being needy, Boston’s told him as much, so he’s doing the only thing he knows Boston won’t hate: Using sex to make Boston love him. Nick’s been throwing himself at Boston over and over, everyday. Until he feels sure that Boston will do anything to keep him from going away. Nick got brave, bringing up his status again with Boston. Boston says “It did. I’m your regular now.” Not what Nick was hoping for, he goes quiet. 
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Song: Daydreaming At Night by Heyson Scene: Boston and Nick discuss what they are Type: Playful
Song starts after “I’m your regular now” with a ticking sound, the keyboard chords come in when Boston becomes soft to him, and the drums start after “we did promote our status though” the music sounds more and more hopeful, mirroring Nick's mood. And as Boston stands up we get the vocals. 
Nick’s other tool he can use to get Boston to bend, to become a little more soft to him, is to sulk. He did it in the darkroom, asking If he should be glad that he’s a favorite. He did it when he it asked what they were and ended up choosing Fuck Buddies. This time he’s getting Boston to give him a few more crumbs of hope. He'll do it again and again.
Song ends when Nick sets down the picture of the friends.
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Song: The Jealousy song. I Still don’t know the real song title.  Scene: Nick looking at what is on Boston's desk
We're shown the pictures and get another twitter response: Maybe he isn’t serious with you because he’s got feelings for someone else.
Last time this played was when Top saw Ray and Mew hugging by the pool in EP2.
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Song Replica by I’MIN Scene: Boston asks Nick about CCTV Type: Vocal
Lyrics not in show, Google translated the lyrics.
I wish we were always together   Because everything works  Feels like day dreaming when I’m with you, I love my life don't disappear my everything The chemistry is like no other too You who were always with me whenever I was having a hard time The moment our eyes met share your thoughts telepathy between the two of us Look at me And no where no where can I find someone like you I recognized you at a glance, you are my replica We don’t need to see each other, to know that we’re on the same wavelength oh yea Why can’t we just meet tomorrow still, you are still looking for me I fall asleep thinking of you every day My heart is beating for you Why why why are you wondering  I don’t know what more to expect Of course not You are me, I am you I really don't want to (bad translation, sorry) I'll go see you across the sea I'll do anything, tell me what you want I don't want to be alone again Let's try it first, me and YOLO Yeah I go side by side with you Like an ordinary lover on the weekend want to eat with you There's nothing wrong with what I said Throw away the thought that it won't work Without you, not okay okay To eat well and live well, low key low key It's okay to show all your heart I endured enough, it's unfair Baby I can feel it with you,  Maybe you feel the same with me, too
This whole song hurts so much, unrequited love, maybe even obsession over someone who the singer thinks of as a replica.
It’s a simple scene, Boston comes to ask about cameras for the Hostel, and this cute song starts playing as they discuss security cameras. Nick brings up sound recording 3 times, Boston saying no each time, and Nick accuses him of not being interested in education. 
Nick might be disappointed in Boston not wanting to share in what he likes. This is a maybe for me.
Nick wanted Boston to not just rely on him for camera stuff, wanting Boston to do some work on his own. This feels weak to me.
Nick is disappointed in Boston not wanting to be “educated” by spying on people. Nick is seeing himself in Boston, just like he tells Top in ep4. This is the second song that’s brought it up. So what in Boston is he seeing of himself? This is the explanation I like the most.
Boston is heavy handed with his manipulation, Nick is softer, quieter, quite literally. But they’re still out to get to their goal, they’re both obsessed. Boston uses mostly video surveillance, Nick uses sound, but I would not be surprised if he’d use anything he can get his hands on. Whatever is best for the situation. 
Nick is trying to stretch Boston's morals, no matter what the education comment means. He tries three times to convince Boston to use sound recording. As @rocketturtle4 said, "He is trying to lead Boston astray." And I agree. Nick is soft, Boston is loud.
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Song: ร้ายก็รัก by Joey Boy Scene: Top and Mew at the disco Type: Vocal
Lyrics in show:
Every time I watch dramas on TV There are some parts I can never be In the dramas, there are good guys walking around They must be the ones you fantasize about Back to reality, they and I have nothing alike Everyone regards me as a bad guy I guess good guys only exist in fairy tales I’m a villain, no matter how much I love you, I must die eventually, I guess good guys only exist in fairy tales I’m a villain, no matter how much I love you, I must die eventually, In the end, he’s the one who has your love, Though I’m bad and unruly, I love you dearly, I might not look decent but God destined me to be I wanna be a hero, but a villain is my role
Putting in what was heard in the show because the rest is much the same, I’m going to say I don’t have enough information on this. It looks like Top is letting down his barriers and is enjoying his time with Mew. This is a song I’d love to come back to in the future.
[2/4]
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Song: All to myself by spring gang Scene: Top and Mew at silent disco, Beam comes to say hi. Type: Vocal
No lyrics in show, but the song lyrics are:
If I can’t be with you, I’d rather be by myself No, I can’t lie, I don’t want anybody else Those happy days, that we once knew So long ago, they still make me blue I want you right right right now If I could show you somehow How much you mean to me If you could only see Baby you know what I want,  and nobody else No one but you Can make me feel the way I do All that I want is to have you to myself No one but you Can make me feel the way I do I lose myself when I think about you I search within, and I want you to find me I want you right right right now I want you right right right now If I could show you somehow How much you mean to me If you could only see
Watching this scene “knowing” Beam is a dealer, not a lover, makes me think Beam knows Mew is a potential partner, and he wants to mess with Top. Beam “I’m taking care of you well in and out of bed” Beam knows what he’s doing and I don’t think Top told the whole truth. I think there is more to Beam and Top's relationship.
Is the song from Beam and Mew’s perspective? This interaction did mess with Mew(and me) 
Another option is the song is from Top’s point of view, a version of Top who wants to date Mew, but is being made into a villain who Mew has to hold at a distance. 
I do want to say Top starts calling Mew his boyfriend after this at the Pool party. Although that was in front of Ray, who he was feeling threatened by.
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Song: Eyes in the back of my head (again) Scene: Boston helping nick move Type: Vocal
Stripped down song, no lyrics, but the song ends with:
I can see the future so vivid, I think it's 3D Stay the night forever and ever, I think I'm needy Bein' my reflection, my mirror, I know you see me See me Need me Easy Hug me Love me Trust me Love me Love me
The song starts after Nick says “Besides, if I stay home, I can’t bring people over, right?”
He’s happy, he’s thinking about making sure he can be around Boston, he’s thinking about the future.
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Song: Way out of New Orleans Scene: Sand and Ray making food Type: Playful
We start off with a double entendre.
Ray- “I’m hungry. Can I eat too?” Music starts here, guitar repeating a few times, joined by keyboard.
Sand- “Is there any duty I haven’t done for you? I’m your driver, drinking buddy, and shrink. And now I’m your chief?”
“There’s one more duty you haven’t said.” 
“It’s a one-time thing. It doesn’t count.” 
“It doesn’t have to be a one-time thing. I can eat more. It’s delicious.” Ray brings the food parallels back and starts the drums and bass.
“If you want to eat, help out. I’m sure you’ll love my Railway Fried Rice.” The guitar finally moves and starts to play a melody here.
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Song: Don’t let me be this way by Sleepaway Camp Scene: Ray and Sand are eating Railway Riced Type: Vocal
lyrics in the show:
Using a tapestry As a map only leads To pattern Rеcognition
Full Lyrics:
I go to bed early And I hope when I Wake in the morning I'm someone different And I wake up And do the same things I Did the day before I'm losing it Oh God please don't Don't let me be this way, I Can't breathe, I can't I can't communicate, I Find every way To start another day and How many more Cycles before I Fade? Let me plot it out Let me steam away All the wrinkles In this fabric Using a tapestry As a map only leads To pattern Rеcognition I need an intervention And still Still it goes It goes and goes And still Still it goes It goes and goes And still Still it goes
As Ray and Sand are eating together, they continue the food innuendo. “It’s so good, I guess I have to eat it more often.” Sand replies “what is this? You’re not my special one. I don’t have to cook for you repeatedly” The music starts here, a bassline just repeating a riff. Sand reminds Ray again that they are not together, and that he said it was a one time thing.
“I’m not special yet?”
“We’re only friends. Friends who slept together.” 
“That’s right. What? You think I want you as my boyfriend? Of course not. I just like to tease you. I like your stupid reaction.”
“You asshole. If you want a boyfriend, get yourself a boyfriend. Stop messing with me.” 
As Sand walks away, Ray grabs his hand, and the music changes, we get rhythm guitar and wordless vocals. “Hey, Seriously, Are you ok with this?” More guitar as sand replies “Yeah, You’re happy, I’m happy. We don’t develop it. It shouldn’t be a problem, right?” Another change in guitar melody with “But I still want to talk to you” Sand reminds Ray, “I can differentiate between love and sex.” As they settle out the rest of it the music goes quieter again. Until Ray says “Finger-licking good.” and walks away, and we finally get the lyrics.
Stuck in a cycle, going around and around, we’re back at just friends, separating love and sex, Ray going off after flustering Sand “Finger licking good” “Priceless Night” They’re both making the same mistakes, Sand falling in love, saying he can separate love and sex. Ray falls for the person who saves him. 
They can’t get unstuck from the cycle, they can't communicate, but every time they go around this cycle, they might hope that it’ll be different.
Ray himself is stuck in a cycle with his mom’s death and falling in love with his savior. Sand might also be stuck in his own cycle with the baggage of his ex and Top.
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Song: The Jealousy song (The one I don't know the real name to) Scene: Nick looking up Top and Boston's instagram
Not a lot to point out. Boston is the first to comment on all of Top's post, and Top is horrible with captions. "My cribs"? really?
Continue to EP 3 part 2
Master list
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sealrock · 9 months ago
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send REMINDED for a scene from my muse's past in which they encountered something that reminded them of a difficult experience / trauma
ask meme
cw: references to drug and alcohol abuse, implied disordered eating
Cold water splashed against his stubbled face—once, twice, thrice. Water rolled down his bare forearms and onto the cramped vanity, but most ended up splattered against the cracked tile of the dingy bathroom. Finally, he's awake.
Evander slowly dragged his hands down his face to expose bloodshot eyes from another restless night hugging the cold porcelain of the lavatory, void of emotion other than stark ennui. He quickly looked away. The mirror had spiderweb cracks this way and that, the point of origin shaped into a fist. Evander was on a binge one night that he couldn't remember, and he could only surmise that he didn't like what he saw. It took longer than he wanted to delicately clean and wrap the wounds of his knuckles once he came down from the high.
Evander gripped the vanity and allowed his eyes to roam anywhere but his face. The yellow tint of the cheap lights cast his hollow face in a sickly hue, his tan skin taking on an abnormal shade, and made his unkempt black hair more greasy than usual. The severe dips in his collarbone and the bumps of his ribs are more prominent in this unnatural lighting, the shadows growing darker by the day. His trousers were looser fitting if his shrinking waist was anything to go by. He lost weight again. But that's normal to him. Evander admits he doesn't give his body proper nutrients; with a diet of imported cigarettes, illicit drugs, and hard liquor, this lifestyle wreaks havoc on anyone with a feeble constitution such as him.
His blue eyes, a scourge of his genetic makeup, were tinged green with unmistakable envy. Evander pulled his puffy eyelids away to get a closer look: if he could just pluck out his eyeballs and replace them with any other color, everything would've been different. He'd seen it done with taxidermy, replacing the lifeless orbs of a dead animal with bright, glassy eyes without the reflection of sheer terror in the act of being slaughtered. But that's an animal, a base creature with neither the intelligence nor complex language man possesses.
But in some species, animals are constantly reminded of their social status and rank, sometimes harshly with violence—much like Evander had to endure growing up. Blue in Dalmascan society has negative associations that change with each passing century: the poor could only wear blue, blue is seen as bad luck, and it's a color of mourning. Evander doesn't give credence to local superstition or wives' tales, not when science can answer many of the world's mysteries. But his grandfather—and many other oldheads of the family—are profoundly traditional.
They saw Evander as a bad omen from the start. Infidelity is also one of the reasons why they hate him, supernatural causation be damned. Appearance and status kept this family on top for so long in this city. For the daughter of one of Ul'dah's elite, the top of the food chain, to be involved with a lowly street urchin was something to gawk at. To have a child with him, only to try and pass off said child as your husband's, would make you the laughingstock of smoke-filled saloons long after you're dead.
Evander's mind began to wander back as he meticulously shaved the unruly stubble away with his straight razor. His grandfather never lived down the embarrassment of having a bastard grandchild, but to attack a little boy just because he didn't have the eyes of the family was cruel and unusual punishment. Evander could recall the hurtful words the old man would sling at him like knives.
Filthy child.
You're just like your father, a hoodlum.
You brought nothing but shame to this family.
Don't look at me with those foul eyes.
Evander winced when the razor nicked the skin of his neck. He went too deep into his memories and became distracted. He heard someone, a taunting voice inside his mind say:
Such a fool. You're not seventeen anymore, you should know better.
"Get off my back," Evander hoarsely said to no one. He staunched a growing pearl of blood before it could trickle down his neck with a washcloth. He needed a cigarette. Despite what his head doctor would say, this is not healing. To be reminded of everything like this does more harm than good. Evander hates looking into the mirror because the mirror shows him what his grandfather would see: the face of the man who betrayed his trust. The sins of the father will haunt the son, the grandson, and the sons hereafter.
Evander blinked. He had been staring at his reflection for so long his eyes stung from the stale air of his apartment. He finished shaving, this time paying closer attention to the glint of the razor as it glided across the hairs of his neck. Evander is thankful that he didn't need the mirror to see how to do his hair, as it was a simple matter of pulling it into a low ponytail. Now, Evander could start his day. His clothes, neatly pressed and layered, contrasted with the organized chaos of clutter and junk surrounding his tiny living space. He reached into his pocket for his cigarette case. It would be easier if Evander could conjure up a simple flame, but a matchstick is good enough.
He couldn't stomach the idea of breakfast right now, not after last night. There was nothing edible in his pantry either way. Evander took one last look into the broken mirror before heading out. He saw a skeleton of a man dressed in his finest. Evander would never leave the house without his shaded spectacles. It acted like a child's security blanket, for Evander disliked the stares he would get from strangers because of his haggard countenance.
You can't hide from me.
A thinly veiled threat. Evander took a long drag of the cigarette before exhaling. He didn't offer his crooked reflection a response this time. He switched off the light and left for his day job, he had to make up for lost hours if he wanted to eat a hot meal this time around.
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malsfefanfics · 4 months ago
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Ferdinand and Rosamund B-Support
Summary: Ferdinand catches Rosamund on a very bad day.
Written in Script format under the cut.
Rosamund: [SORTING THE RECENT DELIVERIES] Let's see…Oh…right…yeah….okay….
Rigel: [WHINES]
Rosamund: [SIGHS] I know, boy. I miss him too….
Ferdinand: [APPROACHING HER FROM BEHIND] Rosamund?
Rosamund: [LOST IN THOUGHT, DOESN'T HEAR HIM]
Ferdinand: [PUTS A HAND ON HER SHOULDER] Ros-
Rosamund: AH! [INSTINCTIVELY TURNS AND DRAWS A KNIFE ON HIM]
Ferdinand: Ack! Woah! Easy! It is just me!
Rosamund: Ferdinand? For the love of Cichol, don't sneak up on people like that! [PUTS HER KNIFE AWAY] I almost killed you!
Ferdinand: I am very sorry, Rosamund. I had not meant to frighten you.
Rosamund: Yes, well…just don't let it happen again, okay?
Ferdinand: Right. Never sneaking up on you again. Understood.
Rosamund: Good. [WINCES] You…I nicked you with the knife. Damn. I'm really sorry. Here, I have a Vulnerary, so you-
Ferdinand: Ah, no need for that. Do not waste it. You might need it later. Besides, this wound does not even hurt.
Rosamund: Don't be silly. That cut could get infected if left untreated. And of course it doesn't hurt, the blade's covered in a numbing agent.
Ferdinand: Wait, what? A numbing agent? I- no. Wait. Never mind. That is not important right now. Put the potion away. A simple cut like this is easily taken care of with basic Faith magic.
Rosamund: Faith…magic?
Ferdinand: Yes. You should know the most basic of healing magic, correct? A small Heal should clear this cut up with little effort. Go ahead. I cannot do it myself.
Rosamund: Ugh…..right….
Ferdinand: ….Rosamund?
Rosamund: Just… take the damn potion already. I was already having a bad day. You just made it worse.
Ferdinand: Is something troubling you? Perhaps there is something I could do to ease your burdens.
Rosamund: There's nothing you can do. [SHOVES THE VULNERARY INTO HIS HANDS] Now get lost.
Ferdinand: Rosamund, please. Talk to me. If something is troubling you, I want to help.
Rosamund: Why? Because it's your 'noble duty' to help those less fortunate than yourself? Or is it because I am the daughter of a Marquis, so you feel obligated to ensure my happiness?
Ferdinand: Neither! I wish to know because I consider you a friend, and I wish not to see my friends suffering needlessly.
Rosamund: A friend? You hardly know me! You have no idea the first thing about me.
Ferdinand: Your favorite color is crimson. You love your hounds. Your hobbies include hunting, study, and occasionally indulging in custards. Your favorite tea is the Lavender Blend. The meal you most look forward to in the dining hall is the Pheasant Roast. You speak three languages, not counting Sign. I've learned a lot about you from observation. 
Rosamund: So now you're stalking me. You noble heirs are all alike. You just want to look good and get on everyone's good side for your own benefit. Just like that traitorous father of yours.
Ferdinand: Rosamund, please. I care not what grudge you have against my father. Your ire toward him is justly earned, I'm sure.
Rosamund: [ROLLS HER EYES] Sure you're sure.
Ferdinand: But I am not like that at all. I genuinely wish to form a connection with you, because I see you as a friend and ally. Please, have a little faith in me.
Rosamund: Faith? In you? [SCOFFS] Unless you can go back in time and punch my father repeatedly in his stupid traitorous face, there is nothing you can do to fix this particular issue. Now get out of here!
Ferdinand: I….mhmh….Very well then. I…I will leave you be. [LEAVES]
Rigel: [MAKES A SOFT HOWLING WHINE]
Rosamund: [SIGHS] Dammit….just….damn everything to hell….
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rosaeus-archive · 4 years ago
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the hottest style of today’s era!   the good ole self destruct button  .  undoubtedly,  a finger is always present on said button;   always for there would be no enjoyment amongst the living  .  a dead soul trapped in a hollow body who feeds on chaos  &  chaos alone  .      mundane is not for the wicked hearted  .  
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❝     you call it self destruction,   i call it entertainment  .    ❞    long before mortals had given it a name,  this was where he thrived in the imbalance of himself;  never was he satisfied   &   the hunger only grew  .         ❝     -------   if you don’t mind,   i have more pressing matters to attend to,  which don’t involve you i’m afraid  .    ❞
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, SELF DESTRUCT?” PROMPT FROM @moonfatal​
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1000night · 2 years ago
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Mechanic AU Series
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pairings: Curtis Everett, Jake Jensen, Chris Beck, Steve, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Scott Huffman, Dennis Baker, Frank Adler, Nick Fowler, Chris, Lloyd Hansen /plus size female reader
warning: It's polyamory relationships. soft dark, insecure reader, fluff
Summary: When you meet Dennis in the grocery store, you both do the side-to-side dance when you try to pass them in the grocery store aisle. Then it led you to meet Dennis’s other “brothers”, a chain of accidents made you and them become closer. Little do you know, you’ve been marked by them, and they vow to cherish you until their life end.
A/N: No beta, English is not my first language, but all mistakes are mine.
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Today is your off day, you checked the fridge, and you find nothing.
Sigh as you close the door, you decide to go down the town, eat your brunch, and go to the grocery store to fill your fridge.
Mint green frill sleeve blouse, mango yellow long skirt, you check your outfits the last time. Take a deep breath, murmuring under breath
“It will be OK, just eating brunch, buying food, and you can go back. Yes, totally don't need to worry.”
You hope the the Cafeteria has self-service ordering machine as you ride your bike.
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The brunch was great, they did have some machines you need so you don't have to meet the barista.
But when you went to the grocery store, you and a man met in a aisle.
At first, you went to right side and tried to pass him. But he do the same side of you, you straight up, tried to go left side, and he shifted to left.
This time, you bumped into his strong and large arms. Congratulations =)
“I'm …I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…are you alright?”
You lifted your head up, then swallowed heavy
Oh my Diavolo, he's a delicious beafcake. What have you done so lucky to meet him?
“Um…no, it's ok. Actually it's my fault, I notice you move first and I just…be stupid I guess. I'm sorry.”
His sea foam blue eyes shining behind his glasses, the grey shirt showing his muscles under the fabrics, and his dark blonde hair…
Is he real? Or this attractive man just your imagination?
Blinked slowly, you offered a shy smile to him
“Well, you don't need to apologizes, sir. I would let you go first this time.” You took a gesture as you left some space for him
“Oh…uh hum, thank you, miss.”
You almost couldn't handle the urge to inhale when he passed you. The scents of juniper berry and coffee made you feel dizzy.
You released the breath you were holding, shaken the romance and unrealistic thoughts away, and focus on your shopping list again.
When you found the cereal was on the top shelf, you growled
“Seriously? Why can't the store offer some ladder or whatever to help their customers.”
You complained as you tipped your toes, try to get the cereal was hide in depth
“Miss, can I do something for you?”
A familiar voice showed up behind you, you turn to him as your act paused. Your sights shifted between the cereal and the man you just met a while ago
Then you nodded
“Yes, please. Can you get the cereal for me, sir? I can't reach it even I tip my toes.”
He stepped forward as you stepped back, let him take the cereal for you.
“How many box do you need, miss?”
“Two boxes are enough.”
He grabbed two boxes and place them into your cart. You offered him another smile
“Thanks for your help again, sir. You're so kind.”
“That's not a big deal. Hehe…um,can, could I know your name?”
He rested his hand on the back of his neck, laughed shyly, his eyes landed on your lips, then back to your eyes
“I mean, I think maybe we could drink some coffee sometime or…” The blush was covered up his face and his ears from his neck
Why a man could be so adorable? Why this man want to ask you out? But the more important, who are you dare to turn him down?
“If you're asking me out, then my answer is yes. I'd love to have a date with you.”
It's definitely not the sentences you'd said in normal, especially to a stranger, but his herbivore nature just woke your instinct that deep in your mind, you're a woman prefer to carnivore after all.
“My name is y/n l/n, you can call me y/n,my friend.”
“Dennis, Dennis Baker. It's nice to meet you, y/n.”
God help me, is today really my lucky day?
When you screaming internally, you didn't notice Dennis is looking over your shoulder and smirked
Behind your back, there were three other men staring at you and Dennis, and they smiled back.
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griffin-wood · 2 years ago
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kisses as a promise for Kaia ❤️
hiii pd! thank you for sending in heh, I don't remember where the prompt post is..but I'll link it if I ever found it!! my first-ish attempt to clear the inbox, let's go do some prompts heh! also, I'm in a weird kaia brainrot...so, forgive me if there's a lot of them lately skdkd. Also, I wrote this in one sitting; apologies if they are...grammar errors dkdkd. Enjoy!
title: the little wins.
pairing: kent x maia.
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Her hands are shaking through the anxiety that's pulsating through her. It's just a test, her mental voice argues making eyes roll. It's not just a test unfortunately, it's much more. Well, in her head it's the matter of life and death. A cooking test by her own brother.
And that's what she's worried about. She's been practicing, well in other words; trying her best to not burn their house down and today is the day.
She examines the ingredients, she planned on some of Nick's favorite. Some comfort food for them both, for the sake of brownie points. She may lure him to make her dishes a pass at least.
Her confidence is ready, but let's just say; on the most important day of her life. She emphasizes on importance, Kent has a matter to attend during Nick's evaluation. He is her lucky charm, as her throat bobs at the sudden drop.
"I'll be back." He says, standing at the doorway with keys in hand. He didn't tell her where is he going, and she was too anxious to ask.
She steps forward, hands still shaky as she stops him. His confuse gaze meets hers, as a silent question filling it.
"Promise to be back soon before it's over?" She asks as she hugs herself. She's definitely nervous, for someone who tries. Kent motions his body facing her, pulling her close.
Her eyes were glued to the floor, before Kent tips her chin upwards effortlessly as if he has memorized it. She smiles in an apologetic manner, "I'm sorry, I just; you're kinda my lucky charm. And I do need you here when it happens."
She stops mumbling, as Kent lets out a breath of laughter on the tip of his tongue. Short lived but memorable to say the least.
"I promise."
"Pinky promise?"
"I'll just show you." He mumbles quietly, before pulling her close. Their lips met in the middle of the hallway, just for a few moments before he pulls away; leaving an aftermath of a doozy looking Maia. He always had that effect on her, and he likes it.
"Promise sealed." Maia replies excitedly, as Kent shakes his head in amusement.
"I'll see you soon."
"I know." That's all she said, a wide smile was painted on her face; as he leaves the house.
-
"miss, you've got 10 minutes left for the dishes of your life." glitch announces, as Nick stands on the side, watching with clear focus with a proud look on his face. Maia begins to decorate the dish, hoping it looks presentable as Kent suddenly appears, standing beside Grayson and Sally (which was invited by default by both Maia and Nick).
"she's doing great." Sally says excitedly, as Kent's lips perk up into a smile. At the sound of Sally's voice, Maia looks up - and their gazes meet. She gives him a thumbs up, as Glitch counts down the last 10 seconds.
"and, it's over! Step away from the dishes miss wiseman." Glitch continues, playing the role of the host as Maia follows.
Nick begins to step forward, nearing the counter. His eyes observed the dishes, every single detail, not giving anything away. The passion he has for food, always astound her. The way food become both of her and nicks love language growing up, despite the almost-fire incident years back. Food was always going to be a symbol of love for them. And she's going to prove, that she's worthy of that love as well.
Maia's gaze follows his as he grabs one of the silverware and taking a bite of the dishes. A main course and a simple desert. She felt time slows down as he takes the first bite, and it pauses. The way everyone in the room was quiet in suspense, makes her heart beats faster.
Nick wipes his mouth with a napkin in hand, before eyes meeting hers. No reaction in the beginning, only...for a smile to appear. The nick wiseman iconic smile.
"you did it, button." Three words, and the universe is back on its place. She did it, and she'll do it again.
The cheers take place, as they decided to take a taste. It wasn't as good as Nick's, but she's glad they all liked it, and she didn't burn the house down this time. Kent stood by her, hands wrapped around her waist; as her head lays on his shoulder watching the others enjoying it. She likes this feeling, and now she feels worthy of that love language.
"I have something." He says quietly, as he pulls out something from his back pocket.
A single daisy, which she swore she didn't saw it when he makes his way to her.
"this is what you're doing earlier huh?" She says in amusement quietly to him, as she twirls it in between her fingers. He just shrugs in response at her, the smile lingers on his lips for a while. Maia mouths a thank you to him as they continue to live in their little world. It's a small win, and that's one of the reasons she adores the little things in life. That's what makes it more special.
THE END.
Tags: @wayhavenots , @kalanevans , @takemyopenheart , @stephschoices , @cadetzarneki , @indorilnerevarine
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kirisaki-daichi-scenarios · 3 years ago
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a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis
for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down
note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this
zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.
team hcs
nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason
nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him
he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them
unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back
zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.
also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes
oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.
allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that
he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case
(nash knows anyway)
they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc
they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.
yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”
they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates
then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock
half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them
i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes
nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight
and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].
(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)
you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”
imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”
in short, the team would fall apart without nash.
although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart
they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap
team bbqs
unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped
however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it
more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc
more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep
do you see a correlation?
oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl
nash has absolutely no shame
he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them
usually it involves not having come to practice
allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them
that said, one of those words was hentai
and now a quick analysis of some panels
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a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?
b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)
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earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.
another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)
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just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.
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yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)
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i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.
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here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.
when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".
there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:
nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.
he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.
result was he was kicked out of the program.
only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.
then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.
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polaristhngs · 2 years ago
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Fearless (11/x)
Pairing: Dodge Mason x Female OC
Summary: Relationships are pushed to the test as secrets and mysteries began to unravel themselves. As Josie and Dodge draw closer to each other, they also come closer to the truth.
Warnings: Minor Explicit Language, Mention of Disability, Implications of Assualt
Word Count: 6.1k
Disclaimer
I do not own the series of Panic or the characters. This is a slight AU of Season 1.
Masterlist || I. PANIC || X. TRUST || XII. TENSE
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XI. CAUTION
Every rising beat from his chest continued to remind Josie that he wasn't a dream as she lay her head at Dodge's soundly sleeping figure. After their kiss last night, Josie sadly remembered that she had to go home, but Dodge didn't want to let her go. His sweet whining grasp on her hand made her laugh as he dropped her off at her front door. One thing led to another, she was now gazing at him while he slept peacefully beside her. His chest rising and falling convinced her that the events of the past hours were not a delusion.
Dodge was sunkissed as the light beamed through the bedroom curtains. The golden yellow sunlight was almost highlighting him as something important. He looked beautiful. Certainly, a sight to see, but Josie was feeling selfish. This was all to herself. 
"Mhm..." Dodge whimpered. 
He must've sensed something was missing. Without lifting an eye, his arm shifts across the mattress to search for her. Josie almost let out a chuckle at the distressed crease on his forehead before he found her and settled his arm on her waist, pulling her closer to him and nuzzling his lower lip on her forehead. 
"You're staring at me, aren't you?" Dodge said in his morning voice. 
The red reached Josie's cheeks, shutting her eyes before he manage to catch her. "Nope, I'm not."
"You're staring at me." He flirts. "Is it because you like me so much?"
She teased. "Hmm...I don't think I remember saying that."
"It's probably because you were too busy kissing me last night."
Josie lifted her head, flushed and surprised. Dodge then sooner opened his eyes, a large grin peering on his face. "See, I knew you were staring at me."
"Careful now Slater, you're gonna be so damn in love with me."
A warning she would fail to steer clear of. Josie was done with the restraint and mindfulness because with Dodge, she was sure. She didn't need to be afraid or watch her back because, for the first time in a long while, she could properly rest. It felt like a nice exhale after a long time of holding her breath. She didn't have to overthink everything all the time. She didn't have to speculate on how long things were gonna last. For the first time, delightful times like these were overlooking the bad parts. Dodge was like a rush of euphoria. If only they could stay like this forever. Josie didn't believe forever could've existed, but with Dodge, she's reconsidering it. 
"You're an idiot." She says so with a wide smile.
He would want to get used to waking up beside her every morning. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder or holding her hand when walking on the street or just simply being domestic together. Those little gestures and moments they would get to spend together made him look forward to waking up from his miserable life. Because, just like now, Josie was the glowing light of his life. 
Narrowing his eyes in a determined and cheeky look, he inches closer to her. His right palm cupping her cheek, he took a second to soak her in, taking his time. Dodge tried to hide his satisfied smirk as red blushes on Josie's cheeks as he glances down at her lips, ready to kiss them once more. 
"Joooosieee! You want some breakfast!" The older Slater shouts from outside her room, causing the pair to pull away from their morning bliss. 
Nick's booming voice nearly made Josie scream in frustration. She didn't understand what had gone through his mind because he is not often this loud and obnoxious when he is off duty. His abrupt intrusion caused the two to recoil, which led to Josie unintentionally pushing Dodge off her small bed. "Shit! Sorry." She whispers apologetically at the tall boy. 
"Uhm...You can't cook, remember?!" Josie tried to distract her brother while talking to him. 
"You keep saying that and end up eating it anyway!"
"I'll just help you make breakfast." 
"Alright, sure. Get out here and help me!" Josie's eyes widened at the sound of incoming footsteps. "J-just a minute!"
Nick responded with some words Josie was failing to comprehend because she was busy trying not to panic to figure out how to get Dodge out of her room. Nick wasn't an overly protective brother who would forbid her from speaking to boys. Unlike some, he would encourage it. But having a boy sleepover in her room overnight after playing an illegal game where she had to answer questions to avoid falling to her death and her realizing her feelings for the boy afterward and kissing him and not wanting to separate from him just yet, she invited him over without his knowledge is a whole other story. 
As he much hated to do so, this was his cue to leave. Thump. Ruckus can be heard from Josie's messy bedroom as Dodge bumps into her stuff, mostly books on the floor, as he hurriedly looks and puts on his jacket and shoes.
"Remind me to lend you some of mine, if you want." He says, referring to his books. 
"Really? Thanks." Josie's eyes soften at the gesture. Damn, she loves this guy. "Now get out of here before Nick sees you." She led him out to her window before tossing him the keys to his car. Dodge knew he needed to, but his feet remained stubborn as she continued. 
"Wait!" He halts before turning to her. "When can I see you again?"
"I don't know...later?"
"Later? I can't wait that long." She bit the inside of her cheek. Jeez, he sounded like a kid. At least he's cute. "Sucks for you." Josie razzed. 
"What time?" Dodge asked intuitively. "If you don't give me a time, I think I'm gonna lose my mind—" 
"DODGE, just get out of here," Josie laughingly whined before giving him a quick peck on his lips to shut him up. The gesture appeared to be effective since Dodge stopped abruptly his defiance and completely paused on the spot. She took use of the opportunity to push him toward the window once he had respectfully approached it.
"You still haven't given me an answer though," he said midway.
"Fine," she surrendered. "12:30. Does that work for you?"
Climbing back up closer to her, all he gave was a sweet peck at her cheek for an answer before saying, "See you at 12!"
Josie watched him jog towards his car parked across their driveway. As cheesy as it sounds, she kind of already missed him. As if his heart triggered the same feeling as her, he turns back around in her direction, giving a light wave before getting in his car and driving off. 
Gathering the courage to exit her bedroom, Josie made her way to the kitchen table. Sitting on her chair and feeling herself rest on that cushion, she breathed out as if she had just gotten off a high rollercoaster. The moment of adrenaline coursed through her veins became like a morning call for her. Josie was genuinely delighted by the endearing touches, hilarious quips, and things to look forward to. All she could think about was him.
"Good morning." Nick greeted. 
"Hey!" 
Given that everything he had been seeing for the previous several days had been the opposite, it wasn't too difficult to notice the brilliant smile spreading across much of Josie's face.
"Pancake?" He skeptically offered. "Sure."
She's either drunk or on drugs, Nick surmised. Josie wouldn't just blatantly accept anything he cooked, maybe except for sandwiches, without a certified quip at the beginning and her gentle reminders about his inability to be a reliable cook. Nick was merely trying to conceal his tremendous disbelief at how drastically she had changed overnight as he watched her uncomplainingly dig into her breakfast. He is clearly rethinking it in light of her increasingly creepy-happy grin.
"So I take it Dodge isn't joining us." He says, taking a sip of his coffee as she nearly choked. 
"W-what?"
"Dodge? Wasn't he just here?"
"Did you really think I wouldn't know?" He raised a brow. Josie experienced her oldest brother's presence with a new level of apprehension.
"We don't have curtains, Josie." His shoulders fell. "His car's parked across our house. I saw him start the car and drive off." The younger Slater felt like she was about to facepalm. "If you guys are gonna sneak off, at least try not to get caught."
"I just hope you guys are at least using protection." 
Hrrk, Jose wheezed. That time she actually choked. 
"I'm just saying, kids your age are sort of active with se—"
"Oh my God, Nick, please stop talking!" She yelped. "Dodge and I... We're not...W-we're not even... He literally just slept over that's it!" 
"I'm not talking about last night. Maybe sometime in the future—"
"Oh please, please, please, shut the fuck up, Nick. Pleaseee." Josie pleaded. Perhaps avoiding awkward talks like this was one perk of having absent parents, but she failed to remember that her brother is a hospital nurse. He essentially gets paid to give these kinds of conversations.
"I just want you two to be safe. I want you to be responsible and maybe I just don't want you to end the same way as Abby Clarke, Josie."
"Wait." She wavered. "What do you mean? Why mention Abby?"
"I guess only her parents knew but," Nick says. "During the summer of last year, she came to see Dr. Robbins and she asked to get an abortion. I was the nurse on duty that day and I  remembered that she went to your school. After her death, we told her mom. She was devastated." Nick recollected. 
"Like I said, I just want you to understand what you're getting into." He advised. 
Josie's thoughts were filled with new information after his abrupt disclosure that Abby was pregnant. She was pregnant and had the abortion during the summer of Panic.  Nobody else knew or knew the reason why, but did Jimmy know? Was she planning on telling him? Josie remembered her suggestion of blackmail during her conversation with Dodge. A secret of hers could have allowed Abby to be manipulated. This could be it. With the right resources and dedication, nothing was a secret in this town. Someone with power and knowledge must've gotten to Abby. 
When they began playing Panic, everyone was aware of what they were getting themselves into. Their fears and secrets would creep up from deep inside, ready to resurface and haunt them. As invincible as they like to perceive themselves to be, the players were the pigs. Animals who fought irrationally for their own piece while they were being prepped for slaughter. Even if it didn't seem like it now, there were bigger things happening within the game.
————
His drive back home almost felt uniquely strange but in a good way. It was like he left and came as a whole new person. Almost complete. Dodge kept shifting to the passenger side of the vehicle during the whole trip, remembering that she had been lying next to him only moments earlier. He missed her, which would have made him seem mopey. 
Dodge chuckled to himself, blushing and shaking his head, still in disbelief of the events of last night. He may as well prepare for Josie, who has a habit of catching him off guard. Locals must have thought he was insane, not knowing the context of his joy. As his fingers brushed over his lip, Dodge was reminded of how it had been against hers only minutes before when his. He merely looked back on that evening and wished he had taken the initiative. Josie, however, did, which would've meant that she was finally letting go of constraints and allowing him to love her.
As he strutted towards the pavement with a broad grin on his face, Dodge was welcomed by his sister, who was sitting in front of their porch watching him with a mood that was markedly different from the one with which he had left the home.
"What're you smiling about?" Dayna interestingly asked. The younger Mason left the house around midnight and returned the following day, smiling and beaming. Of course, she was curious.
"Me? Oh, nothing." His tone didn't seem like it was nothing, she knew. 
"Mom was worried all night. You didn't even call."
"Yeah, I must've forgotten. I was just..d-driving all over town after Panic."
"Okay..." Dayna hummed. Dayna rolled her eyes as Dodge attempts to either play dumb or gatekeep whatever it is that was going on. "Fine, don't tell me."
Peering over her phone, Dayna decided to change the subject. "Anyways, I have to tell you something."
"Remember that coach. The one that Anne told Mom about—the one that specializes in physical disabilities. I just got an email from him." Dayna could already see the bubbles forming in Dodge's head. "He thinks I could be in competition shape by next year."
"Dayna," He mumbled. "It's crazy."
Dodge folded his arms in uncertainty. This wasn't the first time they were fooled by hope. She'd seen a dozen different doctors and been going to physical therapy for over a year now. But there'd been no change. No sudden miracle. Dayna had made an effort to be optimistic, but Dodge couldn't help but feel reality hit him in the face every time he noticed his sister's disappointment.
"How are you gonna stay on a horse? You're gonna get knocked off before you even get to the gate—"
Dayna grimaced. "I thought you'd be happy for me."
"It's too dangerous." He warned. 
She scoffed, laughing. "You're hardly the one to lecture me about danger." 
Dodge deeply sighed, knowing what she was talking about. "I am playing Panic because of what happened." He reminded.
When the plan of Dodge competing in Panic came up to the light, Dayna was reluctant as he was persistent. Dayna never approved of the notion of his putting his life in danger to exact revenge for her. But Dodge knew it was worth it if it meant Luke Hall finally getting what he deserved. The satisfaction he would feel to finally be able to see the broken down Luke Hall on his knees defeated after Dodge got the justice they deserved for what happened to his sister: his best friend and partner in crime. 
"Ever since we moved here, it's been about what happened. Getting justice for what happened, and making things right as if they can be fixed or undone as if they can unhappen." Dayna said miserably. "Y'know, the funny thing is, the closer we get to justice, the lesser I care about getting it."
"Dayna, Luke ruined your life." 
"No, he didn't." She cuts him off. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. He didn't ruin a life that never happened." She bowed her head, trying to hide her sorrow. "Sorry, you can't stand the one that did." 
"Come on," He calls after her leaving figure as she fled back to the inside of the house. "That's so unfair. Dayna, that's not what I—"
Dodge could only frustratingly run his fingers through his hair as Dayna continued to ignore his callings. He berated himself for upsetting her.
Although she felt thoughtful of Dodge's protectiveness over her, she couldn't help but feel guilty for being the reason for his reckless actions. She doesn't want to see her little brother take on dangers in order to give her justice that would ultimately be meaningless. Dayna knew she was never gonna walk again and she had made peace with it. Dayna could only wish that Dodge would too.
————
"What am I looking for again?" Heather asked as she and Josie surveyed around the acre of Anne's farm. The three figures are now standing in front of a giant gate, staring across an open field.
"You'll know it when you see him," Anne says. "They're usually crepuscular."
"Late risers." Anne nods at Josie's note. The woman then opens the agent's door, throwing treats into the ground then locking the door once again. The two teenage girls kept their eyes wide open at whatever they should be looking at. Ready to feed on their curiosity and anticipation. This should be interesting. 
On Anne's whistle, a large tiger emerges from behind the fallen trees. Both Heather and Josie took cautionary steps back as the big animal runs, making its way toward them. Both girls looked at each other, they were just thinking the same thing. Oh my god. Its black stripes on its orange hair glistened in the air under the hot Texan afternoon. It then made slower steps as it paused in front of the treats laid out for him, eating. She figured the animal's name is Tom, as Anne pointed it out.
"Anne, that's a tiger." Heather looked at Anne like she was insane. Anne only looked at Tom with such admiration as if he was the most beautiful thing in the whole world. 
"He was only 20 pounds when I took him in. Some creep had a whole zoo full of exotic animals that he kept in locked cages."
"Isn't he still dangerous?" Josie asks.
"Yeah. Extremely." Anne's words definitely did not reassure a feeling of safety between the two girls. "I raised him from a cub, so he knows me. But he's still a tiger."
"What do you mean?" Heather looks at the woman insightfully.
"Just because I have him in the yard, it doesn't make him a pet. These gates have to stay closed at all times." Anne warns Heather. "Understand that?"
Heather nods her head, signaling her understanding. Why would she want to leave the gates open? The tiger might get out or someone might stumble inside the cage. It is dangerous. Heather looked back at the tiger ravaging the treats in front of him. After finishing its meal, her eyes didn't leave the animal as it travels back to the safety behind the trees. Probably shielding itself away.
"You girls don't mind helping me feed the horse for a while, right?" Anne asks.
Heather and Josie happily agreed to do the task as they head down the stables following Anne, ready to take the horses out for a walk in the field. 
Heather invited Josie to help to intend the animals. Thankfully, Anne agreed to tag the other girl along. Since she had nothing else to do, Heather invited the girl to help in tending the animals. Heather started working for Anne after encountering her at the market. Maybe it was just some luck out of nowhere that they met when she was looking for a job. It wasn't bad at all. All she had to do was basically take care of the animals there. Feed them, watch them, watch the house and the farm. A little pet sitting and light chores. 
On such usual afternoons, the sun shined brightly. In an effort to cool them off, the wind whipped past their faces. Josie enjoyed the day. She smiled at the sky and ecstatically felt the warmth. 
"You're in a good mood," Heather observed. 
"Am I?" A little sense of smirkiness can be heard in Josie's tone. 
"I guess something exciting happened other than Panic last night." The brunette's voice had a slight gloom in it. After keeping Heather up to date about the previous night's challenge, she couldn't help but hide her despair in missing it. Heather's absence meant she was out of the game. The brunette didn't give it a second thought and drove off when her sister needed her. She wasn't sure what would happen to her now.
"So, how's it going for you and Lily?" Josie asks her friend.
All she understood was that Heather and her mom had a bit of a fallout, and the two girls kept their distance from their mom, causing her to miss last night's challenge. Heather told her that they had to sleep in her car just to get away from her mom and her stoner boyfriend. Josie's expression softened as she turns to the girl beside her. A sullen expression rose to Heather's face but she tried to cover it up with a smile.
"We're doing fine." Heather tries to reassure her. "My mom's gone AWOL but I'm handling it."
"You could always stay at my place," Josie suggests, Heather shaking her head. "It's not a problem for me and Nick. We have a spare room, we've got enough space, and it's perfect for you and Lily."
"I can't ask you to do that for me, Josie." 
"You'd do the same for me."
Heather paused, giving it some thought. She nods in agreement and the dark-haired girl pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back in comfort. Josie hated seeing Heather look so down. The girl was ever optimistic but there were moments were her spirits were tested. The girl basically raised her little sister and would go through hell and back just to protect her. She didn't deserve these stones thrown at her. Heather was the strongest person she knew.
"I'm always gonna be here for you, Heather."
"I know." She sniffled. Heather knew that Josie would always have her back. She's lucky to have a friend like her. The kind of friend who would run back into a burning building, looking for her.
"What will I do about Panic?" Heather sighed. "Nat said I could use my immunity and be back on the game." 
"Could you do that? Why'd you want to be back on the games?" She wondered. The girl didn't understand why her friend would be reluctant to go back. It was unsure if the judges would allow her to reenter Panic. Continuing the game might be overwhelming for Heather's situation.
"I just don't want to let go of that $50,000," Heather said reluctantly, thinking cautiously. 
Heather was worried. Worried about the judges' questions. Worried about whatever Ray must've said. And what if he answered questions about her. If he did, then people would know. And if people would know, then it wouldn't be long until Bishop finds out everything about her and Ray. Heather doesn't want to ruin the already growing relationship between her and Bishop. Heather needed to enter Panic once more and prevent all of it.
"Girls in here!" Anne hollers. 
The two girls sauntered their steps towards Anne's direction inside the stables. Wow. Both girls' hearts raced at the sight of the selection of horses positioned tall near the barn doors. Heather and Josie followed obediently after Anne, grabbing a bucket of grass alongside her and heading toward the steeds and feeding them.
Josie approached a horse that drew her attention. As she notices a black stallion hunching over in the corner and appearing to be in distress, her eyes soften in pity. Josie felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. "Charlie strained his ligament a few weeks ago. Poor thing's been in pain for days." Anne said.
"But he's gonna walk just fine soon, right?" Josie asked. 
"Oh yeah." The woman slung her arm encouragingly at the girl. "The boy who tends the horses here is great. He's dealt with harsher injuries from my other horses. Believe me, Charlie's gonna be fine."
"He's about your age. You should know him, he goes to your school. His name is Dodge Mason." Anne announced. 
Wait, Josie paused. She halted her actions of feeding the horse and turned to face the woman. "Dodge Mason?" She asked. "Andrew Dodge Mason? He works here?"
"Yes. For a while, actually." The grey-haired woman said. "See, I knew you knew him." 
"We're friends with Dodge." Heather chimed in, who was equally shocked to know of Dodge's connection to Anne. 
"That's great!" She was grateful. "Poor boy, I thought he didn't have any. He seemed a little reserved." Josie silently shook her head in agreement. "Especially with what happened to his sister, I can understand why. It tore him to shreds."
"W-what happened to Dayna?" Josie stutters. 
"She had a hit and run accident about two years ago. It was a very terrible accident that cost her her legs. They were devastated and his family decided to move to Carp for a fresh start."
"Did they manage to catch the culprit?" The brunette asked. 
"They still haven't." She looked down. "Luckily, Sheriff Cortez has been helping the family since they got here. He's been trying to lock up the driver for a long time but he said they haven't found any leads." 
"Sheriff Cortez?" Anne nods at Josie's query. "That's really nice of him to help Dodge's family." The Slater girl stated blandly. 
The idea of Cortez helping Dodge didn't sit right with Josie. His whole involvement with the Mason family never did sit right with her. His drives near their neighborhood and his visits to their house. Dodge didn't like it when he'd show up to talk to him or his mother privately when he shows up in Dot's diner. Josie remembered the quick shift of mood on Dodge's face when it was Cortez entering the place. Now she finds out that he's been helping them to find a culprit to Dayna's suddenly sinister cause of disability. 
Josie recalled a talk during the player's ball. She had speculation about an injured girl too and a potential hit-and-run accident, but it was too far-fetched and a bit of a long shot to be true. Can it be—
"Oof," Josie muttered as she bumped into a rough figure and items of theirs started dropping. 
"Watch where ya going, little girl." 
Fuck. She recognized that voice. Among all the creeps in this town she could've bumped into, the universe picked him. Even Tyler or even Ray would've been better. As she anxiously raised her head up from the ground and onto his face, Josie still shivers at being close-ranged with Luke Hall. 
You know when big scary things like lions or tigers felt less menacing and large from afar? Because of the large distance separating between you and the predator and from afar, it feels like they can't hurt you in any way?  It was like that with Luke Hall. 
She felt uncomfortable as Luke looks at her, up and down. "Well, I guess not a little girl anymore." He comments. 
"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." She immediately tried to leave but then he blocked her way. Josie swallowed in dismay. 
Helplessly grabbing his fallen items on the ground to avoid meeting his preying eyes, familiar pieces of ballots grabbed Josie's attention. It was the betting ballots for Panic. Why would Luke have this, she wondered. He must've noticed her looking before he suddenly spoke up. 
"Ya'know you should be more careful there." He lights a cigarette he took from his pocket. "You wouldn't want to cause some trouble, now would ya?" 
"Sorry, I was uhm...busy. Thinking," Josie explained. 
"Care to share?" Josie moved back as he hovered closer to her. "No. I'd much rather move away from here, thanks." Her feet quickly tries to escape from him without waiting for even a second, but his hand constricted on her arm and prevented her from doing so.
"Oh, c'mon. Don't be like that." Luke kept going. Josie was desperate. It was like fighting against an annoying dog. She kept her stance on the ground, refusing to give in. "NO. I don't think so." She snatched her arm away from his clutch and started to walk away at once. 
Luke smirked as he watched her depart, her drawbacks just made her more appealing to him. "Well, you can come to visit me anytime." 
Josie felt panic and uneasiness. Her heart was beating so quickly that she was on the verge of running farther away with her strides. She turned around once again after sensing his gaze. She was chilled by the creepiness of his look. Distracted, she felt herself collide with another body. Josie jumped. Her already shaky self made her flinch at the clash. 
"Woah. Hey, Josie, you okay?" Looking up, Josie immediately felt safe. She had already breathed a sigh of relief and contentment upon hearing Dodge's voice and seeing him.
"Thank God. It's just you." 
"That's a good thing, right?" The sound of her chuckling gave Dodge a small sense of respite, but he is still worried. She had distress visible in her eyes, he saw. 
"Seriously, Jo. Are you okay?" He asked seriously. "Yeah, I'm fine." Josie shakes her head and tried to formulate a convincing smile. But that never worked on Dodge, who could see right through her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing. It's—" She breathed out. "I bumped into Luke and we talked, and then, um— Don't worry about it. Everything's fine now."
"No, it's not, Josie." Surveying the street, Dodge quickly spotted the back of Luke Hall's head like a hawk. The Mason boy huffed sharply as his legs strode towards his direction. Seeing the piercing look in his eyes, Josie immediately stood in front of him, blocking him from doing anything stupid. 
In an effort to stop him, she grabs hold of his shoulders. "No, no, no. Dodge, please don't do anything—" 
"I'm just gonna go talk to him." His tone sounded seething. She could practically see the fumes radiating off his head. She could see the fist forming in his hand which made her worry about what he was gonna do. Dodge doesn't usually get ticked off. He usually keeps his head down, avoiding trouble by avoiding people. But Josie wasn't just any person. He's not gonna keep his head down. Dodge wasn't going to allow anyone to mess with her.
"Just let it go, Dodge. Please..." Her pleading collided with his thirst for confrontation. Flexing his hands, and breathing in and out, Dodge tried to calm himself down. 
Seeing his disappearing back walk away, he felt bitter but he listened to Josie anyway. She was right. This wasn't the time nor the place to confront Luke. Guess he'll just have to do it in Panic. He was furious to see Luke Hall almost hurt another person he loved. It was like he was taking joy over fucking people over. What pissed Dodge, even more, was that he couldn't do anything about it. Just like Dayna, she was telling him not to do anything about it even though she deserved the defense she should get. But he still listened to her. Josie's pleads were the only thing that was holding him back. 
"If he bothers you again, promise that you'll tell me, ok," Dodge asks desperately. Josie nods, rubbing his shoulders, reassuring him that she will. 
If Luke ever tried to hurt her again, Dodge is gonna ruin his life. More than what was initially planned. Josie might say he was overreacting but he wasn't gonna sit on the sidelines until her life was ruined and destroyed like Dayna's. He wasn't gonna let Luke get away with it this time.
"Let's go." She nudges him forward with her hand holding his. His eyes stayed on hers, trying to fight the urges to turn back. Josie exhaled as she could feel Dodge relax as they took a minute of silence in their walk. 
Dodge turned towards her. His eyebrows crinkled at the sight of the Slater girl trying to resist a giggle. "What are smiling about? What's so funny?" He innocently asks, confused as the girl beside him looks at him with that hint in her eyes. 
"Did I overreact?" He asked. "No, you didn't," Josie shook her head, reassuring him. 
"I totally did." Dodge lamented. "I'm sorry for that. Sometimes I just get—"
"You apologize too much." She cuts him off. 
"Sorry." Dodge apologized earning a playful eye roll from Josie. "Some people would say I'm being too much."
"Well, too much is better than nothing." 
"I never really remembered a time where someone would come up to defend me. It was always me doing the defending." Josie expressed. "But you did. And it was sweet. And I'm thankful." She gave his hand a light squeeze. 
Guess he was on an emotional edge from his talk with Dayna this morning. When he saw the distressed look on Josie's face, a part of him was about to snap at Luke. His strong emotions always seemed to get the best of him. When it's all overbearing, he'd act on impulse. Maybe it was a cry of desperation to save them. An echo in his mind told him that despite his trying, he would never save anyone. He could try again and again but he'd be always too late. But then, it was like her words were magic. Any sense of insecurities about himself washed away from her mention of thanks. 
"Is it weird that I'm kind of liking this vibe from you?" Josie raised her brow. Her statement made him throw his head back from laughter. "A little bit," said Dodge. 
"I just don't want anyone messing with my girl. If anyone tries anything with you, they're gonna get way more than just too much."
"My girl?" She smirked. "I didn't know Dodge Mason had a knack for pet names."
"It sounded pretty confident too. Assuming you did kind of like me first, I should've seen this coming." 
"Well, I've got to figure out ways how to show you off."
"I didn't think you were the type to show off." 
"I'd be subtle, but you just have this effect on me." 
"What kind of effect?" She was curious. 
"The kind of effect that makes me not want to screw this up. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future. Screw Panic. Screw Carp. I want this to work."
Dodge had never been a big believer in long-lasting relationships. Growing up, he never really had reliable relationship figures in his life that made him believe in such things. Even if his dad were alive today, he and his mom would've gotten a divorce. He remembered the times when they used to argue and he could hear it all the way in his room. Dayna would tell him stories and other things in an effort to divert his attention. It was clear they didn't love each other anymore but both were just stubborn to make the first move to end it. But with Josie, it felt right. Like the way his hand is still holding hers, as Dodge noticed. She makes him want to try and Dodge is never the type to give up. 
Touched by his words, Josie gave him a peck in the cheek that's probably becoming a thing now. Dodge wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they continued their walk. 
"Speaking of work..." Josie recalled the previous conversation. "You didn't tell me you worked at Anne's farm." 
"How'd you find out about that?" 
"Heather works there too. We were there earlier and Anne said you helped tend with the horses." Josie couldn't help but feel curious. "Yeah, I go over there sometimes after the ranch," Dodge answered quickly, surprisingly wanting to end the talk soon. 
"She really knows a lot about you, doesn't she?" Her voice meandered. "I wouldn't say a lot."
 "Well, she's mentioned you and your family a lot." Josie breathed. "Especially Dayna." The boy's steps halted by a second as Josie spoke of Dayna like she spoiled a secret. 
"Y'know you never did tell me about her accident."
"Well, it's not really a topic I like to talk about." He was starting to sound defensive again. "I'm just saying, maybe it would've been nice for you to be able to talk about it to someone. I'm right here, Dodge." His gaze resisted meeting hers, knowing he would lose if he does so. 
Dodge knew if he said anything more, Josie would react the same way Dayna reacted. Perhaps he was scared that once she knew the truth, she would look at him differently. The same eyes that looked at him with such affection would turn into disdain. He knew what would happen when he would give in to his feelings. When he woke up beside her this morning, a part of him wished they could've just stayed like that forever. He wouldn't need to leave and then go back to reality. He wouldn't need to compete against her in Panic. And he wouldn't need to think about getting revenge against Luke Hall. But nothing seemed to go his way. 
"Anne also mentioned that Cortez was helping you guys find the culprit. Any idea who it was, Dodge?" She searched his eyes for any reaction but it remained as it was. 
The Mason boy hesitated to speak. Rehearsing the words in his head to get it right. It killed him to lie to her, but it was for her own good. "No. I don't know." 
He didn't know what to feel at her plain expression smiling at him. "Alright." She said. Josie didn't know if what he said was the truth. Whatever it was, she accepted it as it is. A part of her hurt that Dodge didn't bother to tell her. Despite the reveal, that was the part that stung her the most. Dodge is very protective of Dayna. If he trusts Josie, he would've told her, right? Maybe he didn't get a chance before, Josie tried to remain optimistic. She just wanted him to tell her something or anything. Could be the truth or a lie, she didn't care.
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moralina · 3 years ago
Text
Why I Love the Moon | Peter Parker x Reader
Summary: sometimes accidents happen, and when you're young it's hard to know the right way to deal with them. But Peter is sorry, and you couldn't be that angry, right?
*English is not my 1st language
N/a: I really don't know how to use on and in properly and when to put the damn comma.
Warnings: aside from my lack of comma usage knowledge? maybe cursing but nothing else
I'm really frustrated with this comma thing
Wc: 1.7k
Masterlist
GIF CREDIT
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She was in her house, buried under the covers, too tired to do anything after spending all day shopping for a new dress. Homecoming was close and she really wanted to make Peter speechless. Even if she was kind of mad at him right now.
Peter was in a random building looking around, searching for a bad guy to beat the shit out of so he could call it a day and finally see his girl.
She was all he could think about, and after their last conversation he was really anxious to see her.
"See, I told you it was gonna happen!"
"in my defense- i... i don't have a defense" the girl huffed, frustrated with her boyfriend.
the young couple, plus ned, who stood quietly by the couch, were looking at y/n's phone. Broken.
The things is, she'd gotten a text from nick, her friend from school, and he was asking her out. Peter saw and immediately snatched y/n's phone out of her hand. It turned into peter and ned teasing y/n about the fact that nick had a crush on her as well as peter saying "i told you so" repeatedly. He knew nick liked her, and she would always brush it off as peter being jealous and paranoid. But now, now he had proof that nick was trying to steal her away from him.
That led to peter saying he was going to send nick a message, y/n trying to get her phone back, peter running away from her and ned just standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
"Give it back!" Y/n yelled, jumping on Peter's back.
"Hey Ned! Catch!" And he threw the phone at ned who almost missed it.
"Stop, you're gonna drop it!"
But peter ignored her.
That's how y/n ended up with a broken phone, a scared Peter, and a silent Ned. She didn't know what was going on through the latter boy's mind, but the moment they locked eyes, he immediately bid his goodbyes and ran out of the front door and away from a fuming y/n.
Peter stood there, trapped next to y/n in what was possibly his last moments in the living world.
But the screams didn't come. The girl was quiet. Too quiet. And that made him terrified.
Without looking at him, she told him to go home and he silently obeyed.
That was last night and they haven't spoken since. But he sent her a message asking if he could come over and she replied with "yeah"
Before going to y/n's, he wanted to make sure to make it up to her. So he bought her favorite chocolate and her favorite candy plus a bouquet of y/f/f.
And hey, he had a flawless, at least he thought it was, apology speech.
Y/n had spent all her money on that phone. She'd pulled extra shifts just to buy it. Her old phone was total crap and when she bought a new one, with her own money and effort, she was very excited and proud of herself. It was her first purchase and maybe that sounds silly to some people, but to her it was very important.
And he understood why she was mad. She told him to stop and he didn't. He was being reckless. Blame it on jealousy, if you will.
Now he has to make it up to her.
And he will.
It was just 10:13 p.m., and anxiety was taking over him. She couldn't be that mad, could she? I mean, he just cracked her phone's screen, and he's going to pay for it. He has no idea how he's going to do that, these shits are always expensive, but he'll find a way. He always does. And it's not like he has a choice, Y/n would probably make him pay for it, anyway.
Breathe Peter
He eyed the moon.
It was shining, taking away the darkness of the night sky and giving it a glow.
"Karen, call Y/n"
He couldn't wait. He had to at least know if she was still pissed off at him as she had been when he'd left her house. He swore she was going to explode his head with her mind.
It's not like it was a big problem in their relationship. Why would Y/n break up with him over it? He was worried because it was a weird fight, if you could even call it that. She didn't scream, but she was furious. Y/n was never the type to yell under any kind of circumstance, she's always able to keep her cool. He admired that about her.
Usually they'd just tell eachother what was bothering them and they'd talk it out. She wouldn't tell him to go away.
At her house, Y/n couldn't stop looking out the window. Her eyes glued to the moon.
On days when Peter was late or wasn't answearing her calls, she'd look at the moon, believing he was okay, relying on the tranquility it gave her, knowing Peter was looking at it as well, and that he was there, just like the moon. It was the constant in their lifes, that wouldn't change and would keep them close. It was their moon.
She didn't know why, but it'd always keep her mind at ease.
Yesterday she didn't want to see the boy's face anywhere near her. Now she regrets kicking him out.
A few moments passed and her phone started ringing but Y/n was too busy inside her own head to notice her surroundings. And even if she'd heard it, she probably would't have picked it up, not wanting to talk to anyone. The thought that it was Peter calling didn't cross her mind. She thought he was too upset with her.
They had both been wrong about each other.
It was already the other day when Peter got to Y/n's house. He decided it'd be better if he waited a couple more hours to give her some space.
Now, he stood in front of her door, with a bouquet of her favorite flowers, not knowing what to do. He should probably ring the doorbell, but he was too nervous, too scared.
Maybe he should go home?
No. No.
He's here and he's going to apologize. Besides, she couldn't be that angry anymore, right? Y/n was the sweetest girl in the whole world, at least when it came to Peter. Eventually, they'd talk it out and she'd forgive him. He's willing to do anything if it means she'll forgive him. He knows he was wrong and he wants to fix things.
"Are you just gonna stand there?"
Her voice startled Peter. She'd been watching him from her room's window. He haven't noticed she was there before. His body was tense and Y/n could feel the awkwardness that quickly surrounded the air. It was an odd feeling. Usually, they were very comfortable in eachother's presence, even if something had happened between the two. The young girl couldn't bare this anymore and closed her window, going back inside and leaving a worried Peter alone again. He thought she didn't want to talk to him, but when he heard the door being unlocked and her figure appearing in front of him, he felt deeply relieved.
"Hi" y/n said, almost in a whisper.
"Hi" he answered sheepishly.
Without saying anything else, she stepped aside, silently telling him he could come in. Slowly, he made his way into the house, not daring to look at her eyes while doing so.
She wanted to tell him everything was fine. That she wasn't angry anymore and he could relax, but first, she'd wait and hear what he had to say, because after all, she deserves an apology.
"Here" he handed her the flowers with a quick motion, still not looking directly at her. "I thought you'd like them."
"I do." Y/n/n smiled softly. "You can look at me, Pete. It's okay." She laughed lightly.
He did as she said and she was surprised to see his eyes were wide with fear. She didn't understand why he was scared. She wasn't breaking up with him or anything.
She sighed
"Peter?" He only hummed in response. "Hey" her hand cupped his cheek "It's... okay." her voice was tender, but there was a slight reluctance in her tone.
"I'm sorry, it's just-" he paused, taking a deep breath "are we- are we okay?" she couldn't help herself but let a small nervous and breathy laugh escape.
She paused, not saying anything at first. Peter got more scared, and upon realizing it, Y/n answered him quickly "Of course we are..."
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."
"I know you're sorry, Pete." She rolled her eyes. She wasn't annoyed at him, it's just that his reaction to this whole thing threw her off guard and she didn't really know what to do with her whole body, so it just acted on instinct.
"Sorry." He said again. "It's just... I've been kinda stressed lately and, I don't know, it got even worse after yesterday and I kinda started overthinking things and I know I'm probably overreacting and I'm sorry but I can't help and-"
"Peter" she interrupted his rambling with a soft smile "I understand." She held his hand in hers "but, you still broke my phone, you know," he nodded "and I was hoping you'd help me pay for it to be fixed, if you can."
"Yeah yeah it's the least I can do."
And finally they both talked it all out. Peter kept repeating "I'm sorry" throughout the whole day. When the night came, he helped her onto the rooftop, so they could watch the sky while Peter shared stories about last night's patrol, and she talked about her previous day and how she found the perfect dress to go to homecoming.
"It's, like, the definition of perfect, Peter." He smiled, her enthusiasm filling his heart with pure adoration.
"Oh, I'm sure of it. Anything is perfect on you." she rolled her eyes, smiling timidly, her cheeks turning red.
Despite it all, Peter was still perfect, in his own, messy, way.
"The moon is so beautiful tonight, isn't it?" Y/n mumbled, staring up at the full moon illuminating the dark sky.
"Yeah, it is." He replied, but his eyes weren't on the moon, they were looking at her.
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A/n: maybe this fic doesn't make sense, but I'm still proud lol ▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎ if you enjoyed, please consider leaving a like and rebloging, it helps a lot 💙
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aelaer · 4 years ago
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First: welcome home & I hope you get the sleep you need to get back into your routines! Second: it's Feb. 2, a significant day to our beloved Stephen Strange. I know you're exhausted right now, and the timing is poor--but perhaps when you're up to, you could write a little one-shot about his feelings all these years later (is it 2022 or 2023?) on the anniversary of the accident that changed his life forever. Can't think of anyone better suited to write it! xx
This was sent a year ago but last month I planned to have it out for Feb 2nd, hah.
For canon, he comes back in 2023 in what I think was likely after Feb 2nd, so realistically he can address the anniversary again in 2024. It'd feel like only 3 years for him while, in actuality, it'd been 8. But when it comes to his experienced time versus actual passing time, Stephen's pretty messed up without the Decimation already (I'm not sure how I feel about the name of the "Blip" yet.)
The prompter also requested first person after I asked for more details, and I haven't ever written Stephen in first person so I thought I'd give it a go. I know first person isn't everyone's cup of tea, but if you're willing to give it a shot, call me very obliged.
Warning for canon compliance :P
——————
Staring Back In Time Rating: G (well, other than language)
An entry from the memoirs of Doctor Stephen Strange, Earth's Sorcerer Supreme, during his time as the Master of the New York Sanctum, several months after the Battle of Earth against Thanos:
February 2, 2024
Calendars don't mean as much as they used to. Once upon a time my life was ruled by the calendar. Consultation here, surgery there, society dinner over the weekend. Dates were important and generally set without change once marked down.
It doesn't work that way as a sorcerer. I keep a schedule, of course, one that marks down classes with apprentices and adepts and meetings with other Masters, never mind all the business outside of Kamar-Taj. But I learned early on that these set times shifted occasionally to accommodate the emergencies that the order often had to quash down, and it became obvious that as a Master, my schedule was more of a hopeful guideline than anything set in stone. Flexibility was a necessity.
Ever since my return to the living, keeping anything resembling a set schedule has been more of a laughable dream. Earth being the center of two universe-changing, Infinity Stone-powered events in a matter of hours did serious damage to the fabric woven about reality across the planet, and the Masters of the Mystic Arts are going to be dealing with the multidimensional repercussions for years to come. Nothing is predictable in my day-to-day anymore.
My relationship with time was fucked the moment I confronted Dormammu, so I can't say it's a large surprise that calendars have become mostly irrelevant.
If someone had told me that I, Doctor Stephen Strange, a man of order and precision, would learn to live with such unpredictability, I would have laughed in their face. But I'm not the man I once was (and thank God for that; that man was a dick). However, it's also because of this change that I didn't realize the day until it was nearly done.
I was reviewing my schedule for tomorrow, which I had set up on Google Calendar (Google had, naturally, survived the Decimation just fine, but like most other non-vital services, had many of their upcoming products delayed for years. But their email and calendar services continue to work great). Tomorrow's a Saturday, which means nothing in my world. My work continues on. The threats on our reality care little for weekends or holidays.
Still, it was only during this review, shortly before I planned to retire for the night, that I realized that today is February 2nd.
I won't ever forget the day, of course. It was both three years ago and eight years ago—or perhaps many lifetimes ago would be a more accurate description, though I lost track of time in both of my major journeys with the Time Stone. One day I'll write about them. Not now, but one day. Both memories are still too fresh.
The memory of the day of the accident, though? It feels both like yesterday and centuries ago. Some parts of the day are engraved in my memory like a film. I remember the last surgery down to the individual conversations. Christine's "thank you". Nick's watch. The cling of the bullet as I dropped it onto the tray.
I can remember my last conversation with Billy, too, in the car. Every damned word. But the drive itself is fuzzy, even in my head with my memory. I remember it began to rain during the drive, not beforehand, and I know the road was narrow and two-laned. I know I avoided a direct route to avoid traffic, driving first into Jersey before heading north and crossing the river again. But the rest is forgotten to time, or perhaps to trauma.
I was told that Billy was the first to call 9-1-1 as he heard the tearing of metal and shattering of glass before the connection was lost. The driver I hit—I learned much later that she escaped with only minor injuries—called a couple minutes later. But it was out in the mountains, dark, and raining. It took them hours to find me and extract me from the car.
Funny. Never thought I'd ever write about one of the worst days of my life like this. But I was told early on that personal journals were encouraged for all who stay in Kamar-Taj. Something about its therapeutic benefits was mentioned at some point. I only picked up the practice once I learned that each gifted journal was inaccessible to others until the time of their death, and after I mastered the art of enchanting a pen to write the words I spoke. Unfortunately this journal appeared to others after the Decimation, but Wong has reassured me that no one read it and it has since disappeared again from public view. 
Still, the point is that, one day, someone just might read this—account of a man who was part of an effort to save the universe. And it is difficult for a reader to judge my actions if they don't know how I was the one who ruined my life. My driving was reckless and stupid. I was running a little late, but it wouldn't have mattered in the long run had I been fifteen, twenty minutes, thirty minutes late. Not really.
Then again, I suppose it would have. I certainly wouldn't be here right now.
One could say that the accident and everything that has followed is some sort of penance for my hubris as a surgeon. I enjoy my newer abilities—quite a bit—but the responsibility that has come with them has not come without its own hardships and sacrifices. Perhaps the worst of the sacrifices were the ones I was unable to prevent others from performing, all for the sake of the universe.
Those sacrifices were made willingly, but I cannot help but feel responsible for them, regardless. 
During my first winter again returned to the living, when the days grew colder and my hands ached in the bad weather, and the only thoughts to accompany the pain were bitter, another thought was born. I was tempted, for the first time in a long time, to give it all up, restore my fine motor skills with channeled magic, and go back to the world I once knew, for a life much, much easier than this one is now. Even with all the troubles that had cropped up as people tried to reorganize a world that doubled in size overnight, it was miles away from the difficulties we were facing in Kamar-Taj.
Their sacrifices—the fates I pushed so many people towards—quelled the idea quickly. It did little to ease the physical pain or sting of guilt, but it lifted the temptation. And ever since that day, I have considered the situation and I don't think I will ever be tempted by the idea of giving up my duties for an easier, pain-free life again.
And I suppose that counts for something.
——————
(Hey look, my interest in geography's leaked again.)
I've always wondered where Stephen actually crashed mostly because New York City is *flat* and those mountains were *very much not flat*. I figured out the bridge that he crossed to get out of the city (there are like, 21 bridges that lead out of Manhattan) was the George Washington Bridge, and it leads to New Jersey—but that's not necessarily useful because it can quickly turn back into New York state if you turn north. We also know he crashed down into a body of water, which *might* be the Hudson, but also might not, but that the body of water is to his left, which narrows it down a bit. But again, not much. And the site of his crash is so dark in the videos and screenshots that I can barely tell what's on it. It looks like a bridge and some industrial building, so the Hudson's a good guess, but otherwise? Well, basically I turned on the topography part of Google maps and started searching.
The 202 on the east side of the river just north of Peekskill (again in New York) matches the movie road's windiness, height, and closeness to the river, and even has a bridge that could be just to the north of the crash site. Unfortunately the railing's off and there's no industrial building thingy by the bridge. It also makes the route out of the city via George Washington Bridge make no sense. Like the Stark Industries area in LA in the films, it's probably a completely fictional landscape.
But as I wasn't able to find a better locale that was still close enough to NYC to direct an emergency helicopter to, my headcanon for this scene is that he left via George Washington bridge to avoid some major traffic or something, crossed the river via the 287 a bit further up north to get back to the east side of the river, then went up the 9 to the 202. Unless someone who lives in the area can find the actual road he was driving (if it's real), this is what I'm gonna go with. (And if someone DOES please let me knowwwww). Funny enough, I don't see him getting led to *his* hospital totally unrealistic, because he'd need a very talented orthopedic surgeon with a specialty in hands to come in, and generally speaking a patient can be helicoptered to another hospital where such a surgeon is available. If Stephen is working at the Metro-General, it's likely they can afford a large cast of talented surgeons. So I don't think Nick was necessarily the lead surgeon in his case, just one of many necessary surgeons.
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hughiecampbelle · 4 years ago
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Edges (John Shelby Oneshot)
Character/s: John
Word Count: 992
Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @death-of-a-mermaid @lotsoffandomrecs @woahitslucyylu @obsessedunicorn24 @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @theshelbyclan @creativemayhems @soleil-dor @thegirlwithoutaname87
A/N: I'm not even really sure what this is? Ya gurl had a bad day after a few good days, and it kinda feels like slipping? If that makes sense? Like one step forward, two steps back.... Writing always makes me feel better though, so I did just that. I wasn't going to include the tag list, but I always feel bad not including it. I completely understand if you don't read this :) This is also my 200th fic which is absolutely insane and the start of a third part to the fic masterlist! I promise my next one will be a real story with actual plot, and something I can really be proud of, but for now it's just for therapy. If you do decide to read it, feedback is always appreciated 💜💖💜💖💜💖💜
Gif Credit: @deeptheon :)
FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO.
WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?
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The realization seeps into your skin, and the sudden urge to run takes over. It's desperate, animalistic, feral. The whining, the crying, the pleading without words. There's nothing left to say, nothing left to prove your innocence, explain the things bubbling beneath your skull. A language barrier between you. Screams falling on deaf ears. Instead, there is only sound. Incoherent. Scared. Inconsolable. It's angry. Red. Sharp. But it is never weak. The crushing weight on your body, splintering bones, bursting blood vessels: the world will never be big enough. The skin you've scrubbed one too many times, shrunken, tight, will never be something you can escape from. The house, with its patchwork walls, it's sharp corners nicking your flesh, taking too much of you, will always be suffocating. There is takes chunks, leaving you full of holes, maybe even holy. It makes everything so hard to feel, and yet the only thing you wish is to feel nothing at all. This life chosen by others for nothing but selfish reasons. Something so full of expectations, of sorrow, so full of dread.
So full of so much.
You're sure, though, if someone cut you right down the middle, there would be nothing.
You were always looking. He could see that better than anyone else, not that he had to pay close attention. Your eyes wandered effortlessly, mindlessly, searching for something he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to see. Drawn away from the rest of the world. The edge of the Earth. Somewhere to step off. Fall into. You weren't sure what to expect, only that it would be boundless. Weightless. Infinite. No time to think, to question, to turn around and change your mind. Eyes closed. One step. It was all you wanted, to be where the edge of the universe slept. To sink beside it, tuck yourself in, and never wake up again. Melt. Liquefy. A chance to be beautiful for the very first time.
It was hard to describe. Everything was these days.
Still, he wished when he looked at you, he found you, he was seeing you, and not all the things you were in search of.
Too many wishes, too few stars. You went in search for little pieces of the universe, placebos, trying to get the closest you could to that eventual feeling. Holding your breath in the tub, unable to hear his banging on the door, his voice unfamiliar. Full of panic. Bursting through the soapy waters, the doorway, panting, clawing at the air, your lungs burning. The numb, the difference, the gate between you and the world, that's what it was. Sleepy eyes, a mouthful of yawns, urging you inside, to bed, before the storm got any worse. The thunder spoke, leading you to the edge, down a trail with no end, leaving breadcrumbs. The lightning igniting something in your bones, rattling you to your core with excitement, with a buzz unlike anything else. Finally, something you understood. Whispers carried by the wind through stringy twigs and sturdy tree trunks. Tripping over yourself, over rocks and roots, escaping the path. He followed after you, trying not to trip, to fall in a hole and never find his way out. He wished, for one second, when he took his eyes off you, he'd find you right where he left you. You wished he would open his mind.
Some days it was easier to ignore. The words, the whispers, the impulse to follow it. You couldn't take off, not like that, not whenever you wanted. The itch wouldn't feel so deep, so ingrown. The weight easier to carry, to drag around behind you like your own shadow. Play pretend. Paint a smile on your face. Slip out of bed, convince yourself the day would be good, kind, gentle. That you would do all the things you neglected to do. Make the bed. Wash the dishes. Face the day. Sit at the table, keep your head down, focus on all the things the rest of the world called important, priority. Be responsible. Check off all the boxes. You never lasted long, though. The tedious tasks of the mundane made it hurt even more. It made your gums bleed, your teeth rot, your head pound. It was excruciating. It made life feel too short, too small, yours, specifically, too insignificant. As much as he wanted things to be okay, to play pretend in a toy house, to live a life as bleak and beige as the wallpaper, it pained him to see you hold yourself down, knuckles white, choking on every sob and laugh. He could talk himself into loving that, but it would leave nothing but scars.
One day he'd get a call. He knew, he was expecting it. In the middle of the night, in the office, at the bar where whiskey stirred in his gut. It would happen one day. Someone without a name would tell him you did it, you finally did it: you found the edge of the universe. John realized a long time ago you never belonged to him. You were not his to hold, to keep, to lock away. You weren't his, but the stars. Too many parts of you made of stardust and soil, ocean waves and desert sand. You were the places and experiences he could only imagine. You were war and famine, death and conquest, wrath and pride. You were the unfamiliar, and nostalgia. Mother Nature kissed your cheeks, she put you together personally. Whatever you were looking for, whatever you chose to follow, you'd find it one day, because it wanted you to. He saw you for who and what you were, he heard the voices, pleading, begging, so sweet in your ear. As much as he wanted to follow you there, to the end, he knew it wasn't his place. An act like that would only hold you back.
Until then, he could only ever trail behind.
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bobasheebaby · 4 years ago
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200 Harry Potter Prompts
Let me preface with this: I love the Harry Potter series, both the books and the movies and have shared both with my son; HOWEVER I don’t support the things that JK Rowling has been saying recently. I refuse to let her transphobia destroy something I love so I propose we take back these quotes from the characters we love and make as many of them as gay as we possibly can. Fuck you JK
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1 “Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” —Albus Dumbledore
2 “No post on Sundays.” —Vernon Dursley
3 “You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant … but scary.” —Ron Weasley
4 “It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” —Albus Dumbledore
5 “Honestly, don’t you two read?” —Hermione Granger
6 “Why couldn’t it be ‘follow the butterflies’?” —Ron Weasley
7 “Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.” —Arthur Weasley
8 “It is our choices, NAME, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Albus Dumbledore
9 “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” —Harry Potter
10 “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” —Albus Dumbledore
11 “I don’t go looking for trouble, trouble usually finds me.” —Harry Potter
12 “The ones that love us never really leave us.” —Sirius Black
13 “What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.” —Rubeus Hagrid
14 “Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” —Albus Dumbledore
15 “I am what I am, an’ I’m not ashamed.” —Rubeus Hagrid
16 “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” —Albus Dumbledore
17 “Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, NAME?” —Hermione Granger
18 “You’re just as sane as I am.” —Luna Lovegood
19 “I mean, it’s sort of exciting, isn’t it, breaking the rules?” —Hermione Granger
20 “Give him/her hell from us, NAME.” —Fred and George Weasley
21 “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on.” —Sirius Black
22 “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.” —Hermione Granger
23 “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.” —Luna Lovegood
24 “Let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.” —Albus Dumbledore
25 “Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.” —Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem
26 “Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.” —Kingsley Shacklebolt
27 “It is the quality of one’s convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.” —Remus Lupin
28 “Not my son/daughter, you bitch!” —Molly Weasley
29 “You’ll stay with me?” “Until the very end.” —Harry and James Potter
30 “Of course it’s happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” —Albus Dumbledore
31 “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” —Albus Dumbledore
32 “Time will not slow down when something unpleasant lies ahead." — Harry Potter
33 “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." — Sirius Black
34 “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." — Albus Dumbledore
35 “It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more." — Albus Dumbledore
36 “You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble?" — Albus Dumbledore
37 “Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.” — Albus Dumbledore
38 “The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.'" — Albus Dumbledore
39 “Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself." — Hermione Granger
40 “I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there." — Harry Potter
41 “When in doubt, go to the library." — Ron Weasley
42 “Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward." — Draco Malfoy
43 “Mischief Managed!" — Harry Potter
44 “We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided." — Albus Dumbledore
45 “Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go." — Voldemort
46 “Curiosity is not a sin…. But we should exercise caution with our curiosity… yes, indeed." — Albus Dumbledore
47 “Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open." — Albus Dumbledore
48 “The thing about growing up with NAME (and NAME) is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.'" — Ginny Weasley
49 “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike." — Albus Dumbledore
50 “NAME says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right." — Hermione Granger
51 “Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe." — Nearly Headless Nick
52 “Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth." — Albus Dumbledore
53 “No, NAME, you listen,” (pause) “We're coming with you. That was decided months ago — years, really.'" —Hermione Granger
54 “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it." ― Albus Dumbledore
55 “Do not pity the dead, NAME. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love. “-– Albus Dumbledore
56 “Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” – Ginny Weasley
57 “For in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own.” – Albus Dumbledore
58 “We’re all going to keep fighting, NAME. You know that?” – Neville Longbottom
59 “I am not worried, NAME … I am with you.” – Albus Dumbledore
60 “Celebrity is as celebrity does, remember that.” – Gilderoy Lockhart
61 “Parents shouldn’t leave their kids unless —unless they’ve got to.” – Harry Potter
62 “Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies.” – Lord Voldemort
63 “Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe.” – Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
64 “What's life without a little risk?" — Sirius Black
65 “There were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our own cleverness.” – Remus Lupin
66 “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
67 “You will also find that help will always be given at PLACE to those who ask for it.” – Albus Dumbledore
68 “I mean, you could claim that anything’s real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody’s proved it doesn’t exist!” – Hermione Granger
69 “To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever." — Albus Dumbledore
70 “Though we may come from different places, and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one." — Albus Dumbledore
71 “Always.” — Severus Snape
72 “Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.” — Albus Dumbledore
73 “It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated.” — Albus Dumbledore
74 “Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.” — Albus Dumbledore
75 “Time is making us fools again." — Albus Dumbledore
76 “I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.” — Albus Dumbledore
77 “The consequences of our actions are always so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed.” — Albus Dumbledore
78 “I just feel so ... angry, all the time., and what if after everything I've been through, something's gone wrong inside me. What if I'm becoming bad?" — Harry Potter
79 “Tut, tut — fame clearly isn’t everything.” — Severus Snape
80 “Well, it may have escaped your notice, but life isn’t fair.” — Severus Snape
81 “Ah, yes,” he/she said softly, “NAME. Our new — celebrity.” — Severus Snape
82 ““I wish … I wish I were dead …” “And what use would that be to anyone?” — Severus Snape & Albus Dumbledore
83 “You don’t want me as your enemy, NAME.” — Severus Snape
84 “DON’T . . . CALL ME COWARD!” — Severus Snape
85 “Look . . . at . . . me . . . “ — Severus Snape
86 “Then you should have died! Died, rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you." — Sirius Black
87 “NAME was a brave, clever, and energetic man/woman, and such men/women are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger." — Albus Dumbledore
88 “Like the fact that the person NAME cared for the most about in the world was you.” — Albus Dumbledore
89 “You don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!” — Sirius Black
90 “Well, [bad] times like that bring out the best in some people and the worst in others.” — Sirius Black
91 “Oh, I’ve interrupted a deep thought, haven’t I? I can see it growing smaller in your eyes.” — Luna Lovegood
92 “I sleepwalk, you see. That’s why I wear shoes to bed.” — Luna Lovegood
93 “He/She doesn’t think you treated him:her very well, because you wouldn’t dance with him/her. I don’t think I’d have minded. I don’t like dancing very much.” — Luna Lovegood
94 “Come, daddy, NAME doesn't want to talk to us right now. He's/She’s just too polite to say it.” ~Luna Lovegood
95 “Being different isn't a bad thing. It means you're brave enough to be yourself.” - Luna Lovegood
96 “NAME, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than NAME, and that's saying something.” — Draco Malfoy
97 “You foul, lying, evil little cockroach!” — Hermione Granger
98 “Oh, it was NAME, I was thinking about him and I lost track of things.” — Hermione Granger
99 “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.” — Hermione Granger
100 “It would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down our throats, NAME, because in case you haven’t noticed, NAME and I are on your side.” — Hermione Granger
101 “Next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!” — Hermione Granger
102 “Very well spotted.” — Hermione Granger
103 “Always the tone of surprise.” — Hermione Granger
104 “Sometimes friendship means not having to say anything. Thank yous and apologies can sometimes get lost, but that doesn’t mean they’re unexpressed.” — Hermione Granger
105 “You’d think a bit of kissing would cheer him/her up.” — Ron Weasley
106 “And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!” — Ron Weasley
107 “I knew NAME was lying about that tattoo.” — Ron Weasley
108 “There's a time and a place for getting a smart mouth.” — Ron Weasley
109 “Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading.” — Ron Weasley
110 “What are you doing with all those books anyway?” — Ron Weasley
111 “Hang on a moment!” (said sharply) “We’ve forgotten someone!” — Ron Weasley
112 “I never really gave up on you. Not really." — Ginny Weasley
113 “It's okay NAME, it's alright. It doesn't matter." — Ginny Weasley
114 “People think they know all there is to know about you, but the best bits of you are ... heroic in really quiet ways." — Ginny Weasley
115 “Excuse me, but I care what happens to NAME as much as you do!” — Ginny Weasley
116 “Yeah, NAME, because you’re so talented ... at posing ...” — Ginny Weasley
117 “Forgot to brake, NAME, sorry.” — Ginny Weasley
118 “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?” — Ginny Weasley
119 “I never really gave up on you. Not really. I always hoped ... NAME told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And he/she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.” — Ginny Weasley
120 “There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for.” — Ginny Weasley
121 “A good first impression can work wonders.” — Molly Weasley
122 “Beds empty! No note! Car gone-could have crashed-out of my mind with worry-did you care?” — Molly Weasley
123 “Where's the fun without a bit of risk?” — Fred Weasley
124 “You're joking, NAME! You are actually joking, NAME ... I don't think I've heard you joke since you were-“ — Fred Weasley
125 “What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?” “Oh no, NAME,” [sarcastically.] “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.” — Ron and Fred Weasley
126 “Where is NAME?" "Still in the showers," "We think he’s/she's trying to drown himself.” — Harry Potter and Fred Weasley
127 “We thought we heard your dulcet tones." "You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, NAME, let it all out," “There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you.” — George and Fred Weasley
128 “I don't think you're a waste of space.” — Dudley Dursley
129 “Yeah, but coming from NAME that's like ‘I love you.’” — Harry Potter
130 “The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to NAME —” “— and make no mistake, we’ll hear about it.” — Arthur Weasley and Remus Lupin
131 “What you fear most of all is-fear.” —Remus Lupin
132 “There’s a bigger cause out there. It’s bigger than any of us here. But we stick together, all right? We stick together and look out for each other. Because you four are all I’ve got left. And I’m not going to see you die. Forever alive, all right? We’re not going to die." -Sirius Black
133 “Thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?” “We are, NAME.” — Severus Snape and Lily Potter
134 “NAME was scowling at him/her, but NAME refused to be judged by a cat.”
135 “I don’t know everything about life and marriage and happiness. But I do know what love is. And I do know that when love is real, and when love is in its strongest form, it is the most powerful thing on this earth. It kills, saves lives, heals wounds, and most of all, brings hope. That is what you have done for me, NAME. You have brought me hope." — James Potter
136 “I'm sorry too, that I will never know him/her ... but he/she will know why I died and I hope he/she will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he/she could live a happier life." — Remus Lupin
137 “I DON'T CARE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!” — Harry Potter
138 “You do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” — Albus Dumbledore
139 “He/She must have known I'd want to leave you." “No, he/she must have known you would always want to come back.” — Ron Weasley and Harry Potter
140 “You think I'm a fool?" “No, I think you're like NAME, who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his/her friends.” — Harry Potter and Remus Lupin
141 “You’re less like your father/mother/etc than I thought. The risk would’ve been what made it fun for NAME.” — Sirius Black
142 “The battle is always the same, just with different chapters.”
143 “I will if you go out with me, NAME.” — James Potter
144 “Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” — Albus Dumbledore
145 “We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, NAME, but battle on." — Albus Dumbledore
146 “Eat, you'll feel better." — Remus Lupin
147 “Training for the ballet, NAME?” — Draco Malfoy
148 “You’re a fool, NAME, and you will lose everything.” — Voldemort
149 “There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.” — Voldemort
150 “What if I don't care?" “I care. How do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral ...and it was my fault ...” — Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter
151 “Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies.”
152 “I have seen your heart, and it is mine.” — Voldemort
153 “What is it about my presence in your home that displeases you, NAME?” “Nothing — nothing, my Lord!” “Such lies, NAME . . .” — Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy
154 “Come out, NAME ... come out and play, then it will be quick it might even be painless I would not know I have never died.” — Voldemort
155 “Do nothing! He's/She’s mine to finish! He's /She’s mine!” — Voldemort
156 “They never learn. Pity.” — Voldemort
157 “Invite him inside, NAME. Where are your manners?” — Voldemort
158 “As inspiring as I find your bloodlust, NAME, I must be the one to kill NAME.” — Voldemort
159 “Oh, he/she knows how to play, little bitty baby NAME.” — Bellatrix
160 “I don't like to be kept waiting!” — Bellatrix (Hermione)
161 “Ah, shut up, NAME, yeh great prune.” — Hagrid
162 “You think it - wise - to trust NAME with something as important as this?" “I would trust NAME with my life.” — McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore
163 “It unscrews the other way.” — Professor McGonagall
164 “They’re supposed to be, you blithering idiot.” — Professor McGonagall
165 “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, NAME." — Professor McGonagall
166 “"I – I didn't think –" “That is obvious." — Harry Potter and Professor McGonagall
167 “Why is it when something happens, it is always you three?” — Professor McGonagall
168 “NAME, that was foolish!" "He spat at you.” — Professor McGonagall and Harry Potter
169 “NAME – you're here! What –? How –?" — Professor McGonagall
170 “I didn't want anyone to talk to me.” "Well, that was a bit stupid of you.” — Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley
171 “Are you really giving us permission to do this?” “Yes, NAME.” “Blow it up? Boom?” “BOOM!” Neville Longbottom and Professor McGonagall
172 “That's the spirit, now away you go.” — Professor McGonagall
173 “NAME, take NAME with you. He/She looks far too happy over there.” — Professor McGonagall
174 “Do nothing? Offer him/her up as bait? NAME is a boy/girl/child! Not a piece of meat!” — Professor McGonagall
175 “That was bloody brilliant!” — Ron Weasley
176 “May I offer you a cough drop, NAME?” — Professor McGonagall
177 “Things at NAME are far worse than I feared." — Dolores Umbridge
178 “You know, I really hate children." — Dolores Umbridge
179 “I'm sure we're all going to be very good friends." — Dolores Umbridge
180 “The time has come for answers, whether he/she wants to give them or not." — Dolores Umbridge
181 “Deep down, you know that you deserve to be punished. Don't you, NAME?" — Dolores Umbridge
182 “I WILL have order!" — Dolores Umbridge
183 “What NAME doesn't know won't hurt him/her." — Dolores Umbridge
184 “As I told you NAME, naughty children deserve to be punished.” — Dolores Umbridge
185 “NAME, do something. Tell them I mean no harm.” “I'm sorry, NAME. But I must not tell lies.” — Harry Potter and Dolores Umbridge
186 “And that, boys/girls, is why you should never go on looks alone.”
187 “NAME, listen ...” [quietly] “I can’t be involved with you any more. We’ve got to stop seeing each other. We can’t be together.” “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?” — Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley
188 “It’s been like ... like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you. But I can’t ... we can’t ... I’ve got things to do alone now.” — Harry Potter
189 “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love."
190 “You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!” — Albus Dumbledore
191 “NAME’s man/woman through and through, aren’t you NAME?” “Yeah I am. Glad we straightened that out.”
192 “He/She accused me of being NAME’s man/woman through and through.” “How very rude of him/her.” “I told him/her I was.”
193 “He/She will only be gone from PLACE when none here are loyal to him/her.” — Harry Potter
194 “Working hard is important. But there is something that matters even more, believing in yourself.” — Harry Potter
195 “One can never have enough socks.” — Albus Dumbledore
196 “People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than right.” — Albus Dumbledore
197 “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” — Albus Dumbledore
198 “The best of us sometimes eat our words.” — Albus Dumbledore
199 “Time will not slow down when something unpleasant lies ahead.” — Hermione Granger
200 “Don’t you tell me what to do, NAME!” — Hermione Granger
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blondrichclosetwitch · 3 years ago
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“You barely leave your house. You keep the phone on airport most of the time. You listen to part of a three hour recording from 4/15/15 (the Tower) of your teacher in Seattle and scribble her words in black, green, blue, and red on large white poster board. In blue you have written "The work of the priestess is to get so strong that she can hold any trauma including everything that has ever happened here" and then in all caps "HOLD CURIOSITY" all the way on the other side of the page. Your pseudo-boyfriend thinks your posterboard thing is weird, but it works for you. You later add "conscious language" in pink.
You spin, but it's different. way different. spinning kept you from going crazy in the late spring/summer though you're not ready to talk about that, and you're not even sure how you learned it exactly. all you know is one day you were told you had to spin for 11 songs for a "psychic" boyfriend so that he could get well, so you did, because god knows you put love before everything else, and you loved the fuck out of him, still do, psychic or not. sure, you bitched about the fact that it was raining and said you weren't going to spin in the rain, but you did, didn't you? you sure did. and it even went fast. and that's how greenpoint got to know you. as the girl who sings to trees and spins on streets with headphones on. little did they know you were spinning to led zeppelin and really, REALLY there is nothing fucking better. unless it's soundgarden. or nick cave. or anyone you fucking love to listen to, sailor mouth. you fell in love with spinning, and spinning became your calm, and soon you learned that spinning had been around since the 1700's and that, in fact, people got messages that way.
you, however, got your messages from bible verse, but i digress.
so getting back to 11:11........
you spin and it's not the same. your feet are doing something foreign to you and suddenly you're taken away, taken back to the arcade fire show where you took the pictures because it felt important, and regine is singing, why, she is singing your life, isn't she? what's the point of being here? no one gets it. they don't. you changed somewhere in there. citylife seems to be a few towns away from making sense anymore. you want to be a farmer who makes theatre. arcade fire, now they get it. they understand why you fucking need church. why you turned back to god in all this, and you sure did didn't you. He's probably one of the only reasons you're still alive. you've even started calling him some of the nicknames He's asked for, though he doesn't really insist on a capital letter. He's got you. Even on days when it feels like he doesn't. Just cut down on complaining to the others, he says. his favorite song is All the Wine by the National.
He loves for you to sing that one.
so first it's the feet and then your mind starts to go. a song gets played on your playlist of however many songs and then you're sent to your pseudoboyfriendtwinflamebewlaybrothersmotherfucker and everything you went through together on 10/24/12 and how it changed you and now you're flying to that, and you're spinning so fucking fast you think you might trip and you're worried you might make your downstairs neighbor mad and you need to remember to make a sugar jar to sweeten the situation but again i digress. and then it stops on the white candle you have had lit since january 2016 for the baby you didn't have. you have had a flame burning for that baby to the point that sometimes you carried the candle with you, you were so in love with that baby, but now there's not much you can do about her physical non-being, only her spirit which you do your best to honor and now you shrug, because you're still trying to figure out what that looks like. after all, you're her spirit mother. everyone keeps throwing their opinions at you about letting go but how do you really when you're a psychic being? i tell you my friends there's....no clear day to day road.
and so you go to the next song and are you ready for this? it's five years. it hasn't played since september, easy. maybe august. you start to freak out. you know this is big. you know that something is happening. you search for that picture of your blood brother and it takes FUCKING TEN MINUTES i swear and finally get it on the wall and light a yellow candle to symbolize your mother but nothing for your father you're not quite ready for him and all this time you've been putting the song back to start at least fifty times thinking of ALL THE PICTURES THAT STILL NEED TO GO ON THE WALLS but not now and you look at david bowie and oil up your palms and rub them together and grab your sticks and crystals just so and start the song over and start.
at some point you realize your head goes to the ceiling.
you start to see.
this is what you've waited for i guess.
chinks of colored light peek through your world as it all happens.
you cry.
you smile.
you are elsewhere.
you know more.
your eyes stop on the picture of Random, your protector and teacher who died in 2012. you know what you just saw is true. you burst into tears. and then the next song plays. and you do it again.
your eyes stop this time on the poem by bukowski, the laughing heart, written on a brown paper bag:
"your life is your life
don't let it be clubbed into dank submission
be on the watch
there are ways out
there is light somewhere
it may not be much light but it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can't beat death but
you can beat death in life sometimes
and the more often you learn to do it
the more light there will be
your life is your life
know it while you have it
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight in you. "
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