#nick gets a job as a baker | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hier--soir · 6 months ago

Text

feb + mar + apr reads

norma jean baker of troy by anne carson [★★★★★]

"Sometimes I think language should cover its own eyes when it speaks."

"Is she human? Are you? Is she a beast out of control? There's so much danger. No human can become just a beast, you plunge beyond - beyond what? Remember Jack the Ripper? 'I'm down on whores and I shan't quit ripping them till I get buckled,' Jack wrote in a letter to the newspaper, September 18, 1888. He never did get buckled. Of course insane, his mind blooming with it, who could go down that rabbit-hole or unlock such a puzzle as Jack? - but still, the woman! the thing is! the woman has everything and you smile and you take some."

: ̗̀➛ an exploration of the lives and myths of marilyn monroe and helen of troy.

: ̗̀➛ anne carson is there anything you can't do? please email me back. please.

piglet by lottie hazell [★★★★]

"'I want to make some food,' she said. 'For both of us?' he asked. 'No, just for me.'"

: ̗̀➛ one woman, piglet, and the lead up to her wedding in the face of a big confession from her fiancé.

: ̗̀➛ this one slipped beneath my skin and writhed around the spot inside me where i've tucked away all of my food issues.

merciless gods by christos tsiolkas [★★]

"I'm scared that if I let go, not only the room, not only this city, but the whole world will go cold forever."

"Your false gods cannot save you. There is only one God, my God."

: ̗̀➛ short stories that bash you over the head with how awful things and people and places can be. i did not live for this one... particularly wasn't into the one where a guy jerked his dad who has alzheimers off.

foe by iain reid [★★]

"All day. Time keeps moving. I've always thought that was a good thing. Until recently. I'm not so sure now. Is it good? For time to go by fast?"

: ̗̀➛ they want to send junior to space and replace him with a robot that looks and acts and talks exactly like him so his wife has company in his absence.

: ̗̀➛ marriage and trust and complacency, and a guy called terrence who we get reminded over and over has long gorgeous hair.

: ̗̀➛ a little boring for my taste. i had an idea of where it was going pretty early on, and it took a while for me to be proven right. pretty disconcerting!

acts of desperation by megan nolan [★★★★]

"The need was a true and human part of me, but I could feel nothing else of myself to be true or human, and so the need seemed ungodly, an aberration."

: ̗̀➛ a book full of confession, desire, jealousy, violence, and power. messy messy messy!!!! readers procceed with caution.

: ̗̀➛ shout out to everyone who said i should read this - you were right, it is up my alley.

gone girl by gillian flynn [★★★★]

"My wife was no longer my wife but a razor-wire knot daring me to unloop her, and I was not up to the job with my thick, numb, nervous fingers. Country fingers. Flyover fingers untrained in the intricate, dangerous work of solving Amy. When I'd hold up the bloody stumps, she'd sigh and turn to her secret mental notebook on which she tallied all my deficiencies, forever noting disappointments, frailties, shortcomings."

: ̗̀➛ i have become a gillian flynn STAN this year, it's true. despite having seen the movie multiple times, i enjoyed reading this, and was delighted to find some differences in the texts [for better and for worse].

: ̗̀➛ nick dunne, big fan of the lie of omission, mama's boy whose mama is dead, i'd like to introduce you to couples therapy.

dead beautiful and life eternal by yvonne woon [reread] [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ the first two books in a paranormal romance trilogy. these kinda bang guys, i can't lie. 15-year-old me was onto something when she decided to keep these instead of donating them. however, they DO have some of the worst book covers i've ever seen, sorry yvonne.

fourth wing by rebecca yarros [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ a romantasy book that has dragons, smut, and twists that you'll see coming from a mile away. pretty fun. recced to me by one man in person and a thousand women on tik tok.

: ̗̀➛ no one who has the thought 'double standards for the win' is using 'whomever' in a casual sentence with the guy she's having sex with.

: ̗̀➛ good enemies to lovers should have actual murder attempts. but maybe that's jusT MY OPINION.

my book rating system is as follows:

★ = i felt pure contempt the entire time

★★ = yeah it's a book

★★★ = i liked it!

★★★★ = good fucking book, damn

★★★★★ = blew my dick clean off and i'll throw a tantrum if everyone i know doesn't also read it and love it

#what i've been up to!#if you've read any of these lets talk #books #jessie reads

95 notes · View notes

ericshoney · 5 months ago

Text

Stress Baking ~ Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: Your a very good baker, but tend to bake more when your stressed or overwhelmed. What happens when the guys return home to see the kitchen full of cupcakes?

Warnings: usual swearing, crying, anxiety, overwhelmed, mentions of a broken home/ bad parents

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You loved baking and it was something you were pretty good at. You often baked for you Nick, Matt and Chris, leaving them sweet treats, or even extra so they could share with their other friends.

However, you also stress baked. Whenever you got stressed, overwhelmed or anxious, you would bake. Today was no different.

You were at the guys' place, a good three trays of cupcakes already baked and decorated ready to be eaten. It hasn't been a good day so far. Your mother shouted at you about your job. You had just quit due to the manager being a complete asshole, but she wasn't happy as you were bringing money in she would steal to buy cigarettes and alcohol. You and your mother never saw eye to eye, especially when you posted the occasional video about baking.

So here you were, in the triplets' place, making yet another tray of cupcakes. The guys knew of your rocky home life and always said you could seek shelter in their home, even giving you a spare key, as you had been friends for years now.

So when the trio returned home from filming a car video to see the kitchen full of cupcakes, they knew you were upset about something, especially when they saw the tears in your eyes and heard your phone blowing up with notifications.

"Hey sweetheart, we're home." Nick called softly.

"Oh hey guys." You called quickly, getting the next tray of cupcakes out.

"This is a lot of cupcakes, bub." Chris mentioned, seeing at least twenty cupcakes.

"Yeah, just got baking." You mumbled, trying not to burn yourself.

"How about we take a break, maybe talk about what's going on, yeah." Matt suggested, pulling you away gently.

"I....Fuck." You mumbled, bursting into tears.

Matt frowned and hugged you, looking at Chris and Nick, who both looked sad, all hating you upset. Matt pulled you over to the sofa gently, waiting for you to calm down as Nick and Chris cleaned up.

"What's going on, petal?" Matt asked.

Chris and Nick joined you, passing you some tissues to wipe your tears. All three waiting patiently for you to speak.

"Mum and I got into an argument about me quitting my job. I fucking hate it and the manager but she still wants me to work there. She only wants my money to buy cigarettes and alcohol." You explained.

"Oh bub, we're so sorry." Chris said softly.

"I hate her so much." You cried, hiding your face in your hands.

"Sweetheart you can move in with us." Nick offered, making you look up at him.

"What?" You called.

"Yeah, why not move in with us? You can continue with your videos of baking and turn that into a career." Chris added.

"You for real?" You gasped.

"Of course, kid." Matt replied, giving you a smile.

You hugged all three of them, feeling overjoyed with their offer. You smiled wide, feeling happier now.

"Thank you so much." You said.

"Anything for you, sweetheart." Nick replied.

You smiled again and then glanced at the kitchen, a small giggle escaped your lips as you saw all the cupcakes.

"Who wants cupcakes?" You asked, making them laugh.

106 notes · View notes

mattmurdock42 · 10 months ago

Text

Enemy to Lovers

Summary: you go with your friends and Henry to an island, little you know what it will happen!

Warnings: unprotected sex. P in V. Face ridding, smutt, fluff, angst.

Wc: +-5k

( Henry e y/n, you are best friend with a woman whose husband is best friend with henry/ you secretly worked for the cia and henry for the mi6/ your friends didn´t know that you were enemies, always fighting over a clue on some case or some testemuny/ you had already got into serious fights/ during dinners in your friends house you´d always smile and tried to be polite, but you could feel tension/ they decided to go on a trip)

You worked for CIA, at England, since six years ago. It was a secret job, CIA had other undercover job for you, the owner of a bakery. You could say you had a normal life, excluding trips around the country for missions behind clues on cases, victims and assassins. You had been friend with Camilla since you moved to the UK. She's been your best friend, always supportive and respectable, which was perfect. She was a lawyer at a bank company and maried to Nicolas, Nick, who also worked at the bank. They loved to have dinners at their house, always inviting you, Camilla´s best friend, and Henry Cavill, Nick´s best friend. You were always happy to go, but there was only one problem, Cavill. You could say you were practically enemies. He secretly worked at MI6, who also had an undercovered job, as a baker, for your luck. The couple would always say that you should work togheter and this kind of things. You´d always laugh to not give up the disguise.

You had nothing against Cavill, if it were not for him always trying to still parts of your work to take it to MI6. You both had already fought over many things. The most serious fight was one, body to body: he was unarmed, you were with daggers. He left bleeding, and you passed out on the floor. You could barely look at each other without getting mad.

--------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~------------

It was the end of the year, and Cami and Nick were helding a dinner party at their house for family and friends. During dinner, Cami says for you to stay after it was over, she had something to ask you.

Dinner was over and there you stood, with the couple and Cavill.

"So, we have something to ask to you two. January third we are going to celebrate seven years of marriage in Maldivas´s island, and we would be very happy if you could come along. To show you how much it means to us your presence, we are going to pay your tickets to go and your accomodation." The couple said exited.

You didn´t know what to think.

"You have one week to answer us."

You both leave the house.

"Listen. Nick means a lot to me, so i´m going. I don´t think you should go." Henry says.

"Excuse me? Cami means a lot to me too. YOU shouldn´t go."

You both arf and go each to your houses.

The day of the trip arrives and you had already packed and was headed to Camilla´s house when suddenly, you see Cavill´s car parked in front of their house. You couldn´t belive you´d spent a week in a isolated island with your "enemy".

You entered the house and greeted the couple. You and Henry did your little "play".

You four head to the airport.

"My and Nick´s sits are B5 and B6. Your´s and Henry´s are E17 and E 18." Said Camilla to you. You didn´t like the idea of sitting with that jerk, but at least you were on first class. When you saw Cavill again, by his face, Nick had already told him the "great news".

You entered the plane and Cavill sat by the window. In the middle of the flight, you fell asleep, and, when you woke up, you were resting your head on Cavill´s massive shoulder. He was sleeping, so he didn´t noticed. You thanked god, otherwise he´d proably laugh at you for the rest of your life. (Little you knew that he was secretly awake and enjoying the little touch).

The plane landed. You were all tired and headed to the hotel. It was a huge, luxurious hotel. On the rception, you had the delightful news that you and Henry´d be staying at the same room.

"When we booked, it was already taken most of the rooms. And for the days we needed, only these were available. These and the couple´s suit. But the room is enourmous and has two beds, so it´ll have space for you both. i´m sure." Nick said for you two.

You were not believing it. The thought was unthinkable. Camilla pulled you to the side and said: " Sorry, y/n. We really tried, but we only got that room. If you'll have any troubles, tell me and i´ll send Nick to your room and you can stay with me."

"It is your aniversary, i´d never take Nick out of your room."

Cami smiled at you and said. " Thinking about it, Henry is really not that bad to look at. And the conversation will never stop, since you work in the same area. Think about it, girl." She winked at you, with a mischiveous smirk.

"You don´t exist, you know that?" You said.

Each of you went to your room. When you opened the door, there it was, only one COUPLE´s bed.

"There'd been a mistake, let´s go to the recpetion again." You said.

"Sorry, lady y/n, but that is the only room available. I´m sorry for our mistake, the site must be wrong, we´ll fix it right this afternoon!" The receptionist explained.

You went back to the room.

You looked at him.

"What now, mister smart pants?" you asked.

"You can sleep in the bed. I´ll order a bunch of pillows and blankets and sleep on the floor."

"Fine."

He called the reception and thirdy minutes later, a guy arrived with five pillows.

"Thank you, i have a bad lower back, so i need all this to sleep." He explained to the guy at the door, who was with an interogative face.

The first day, you four went to explore the hotel, to know all its activities and places to eat. The night came. Henry used the bathroom first, than you. You had rules: he´d shower and brush teeth first, to not rush you; right was your side, left was his. You didn´t speake to each other unless in front of the couple.

The second day of the trip ( one day after you arrived), Nick sugested for you to do a beach day, to rent a tend and spend the day there. The idea was lovely. You had so much fun, the food was great, girl talk with Camilla were amazing, and even Cavill behaved himself.

"So, how it´s been staying with Henry?" Asked Cami.

"It´s fine."

" i can imagine, that piece of fresh meat all around during the day. I don´t know how, but his scars make him even more handsome."

"What scars?" You didn´t notice, since you looked at him as minimum as possible.

"The one on his thigh, on his arm and on his lower back. I don´t know how he got it, but it seems pretty deep."

You looked at him, trying to catch sight of it.

"I had never seen him in summer clothes before, so i didn´t knew he got them."

The rest of the day was peacefull. You went back to your room and made your rotine. When Cavill got out of the shower, you glanced at his scars. You couldn´t tell why, but their places seemed familiar to you. You both were already layed.

"Good night." Cavill said.

"Good night."

The next day Cami wanted to see the capital. Another day passed.

The next day, you went to see the museum on the ocean. The couple had already dipped, so, the only known person you had to ask to tie your bikiny bra was Cavill.

"Do you know how to tie?"

"Do you know how to not say offensive things?" He said as he tied. When he went to put his oxygen tube, you heard him sigh. As you looked at him, his hand was on his lower back.

"Is that to heavy for you, big guy?"

"Shut up, fainty girl"

"You shut up, blood boy"

After the diving, when you came back to the little boat, your blood presure was low. It was normally low, but you were feeling weak. You managed to get back to the hotel looking fine. In the hall to your shared bedroom, you lean against the wall. He looks at you and see your eyes are narrowed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes!"

"Sure, you almost fainting again means that you are okay."

"Look, just shut up and go to the room."

"I can´t let you faint here, it´ll destory the trip."

"Lovely."

"Lean on me, i´ll help you to the bedroom."

"Not a chance, bloody." Suddenly, you black out.

You woke up on your bed. Henry was already asleep. There was a glass of water and some crackers left for you on your nightstand. You drank and ate it. After brushing your teeth and taking a shower, you were laying on yor bed, trying to go back to sleep, when you suddenly notices the situation of Cavill´s "bed". He only had 6 pillows and a sheet to make as bed, excluding this itens, he was on the bare floor.

The next day, Cami said that you were having a spa day. Some parts it would be the four of you togheter, some parts you and her or you and Cavill. Your muscles had never been more relaxed in your life. It only had one hour and a half left to end that spa day, before going back to your room and preparing yourself for dinner. You and Henry were put togheter at that time; you´d just have the final massage at the same room. You two were only in a towel, alone in a room, waiting for the massues.

"Thank you for the care last night. And thank you for not telling Camilla about it."

"Your welcome. I understand how bad it is to feel weak."

Time passed and you finished your massage and the dinner, then, you went back to your room. Before getting in the shower, you looked at Henry and asked:

"Didn´t you ask for blankets also?

"They didn´t have it, it is a hot island, after all. I forgot this wasn´t England."

"How can you sleep?"

"i don´t, actually."

You raised your brows to him.

"i´ve already been more days with bad sleep."

You didn´t believe him. It seemed that he´d lost 20 pounds and he had black eyes.

"You don´t seem ok. It´s clear that you lost significant weight. You konw, since you helped me, i´ll let you sleep in the bed, tonight."

"No. Then you´ll have to slepp on the floor."

"We could share the bed. We´ll make a pillow wall."

He seems to think for a while. But then, his ego gave up and he accepted, recognizing that he really didn´t look really healthy. After your shower, you saw two pillows in the middle of the bed.

"Why didn´t you put four pillows?"

"I need two for my lower back." He explains as he goes to the shower. After 15 minutes,he came back, only in a black pajama shorts, since it was hot as hell. Now, you were both layed.

"What happened to your lower back?" You interogated.

"I got stabed, it hitted the muscle; now, it is hard to get comfortable with it ragged."

Half an hour passed, but neither of you were sleepy.

"Haven´t slept eighter, hein?" he groaned.

"Yes, it´s been ages since i din´t relax like that, so i think my body instinctively feels alert." You commented.

"Same."

He looked at you and solicited:

"You know, what if, just for this night, we forget our jobs and have a conversation with each other, like normal people?" he asked.

"How can i forget how to be a baker?" He gave you a chuckle. You liked the sound.

"I could do that, for this night." You said.

"How long have you been working there?" He asked.

"Twelve years. And you?"

"Fifteen. ... Are your blood pressure always low?"

"No, just when i feel pressure over my body."

"Where are you from?"

"I was born in Krakow, but raised on Boston, EUA. I heard Nick saying you are from London."

"Yeah."

"If it weren´t for our jobs, we could have been friends, i think."

"This inteligences should have an organized diplomacy between then, so it wouldn´t affect anyone lives."

" It really should. I´m sorry for you having to sleep on the floor. I was rude on not offering you the bed before."

"There is no problem."

"If i may ask, how did you get those scars? I don´t know how, but they seem familiar to me."

"Well, i got them at a wednesday night. I nedded a video tape from an assassin, but other agent from another secret service showed and, we fought for it. I took the tape in the end, but i left bleeding."

"Henry, are those...are those mine?" You say, stretching an arm to feel the scar from his arm.

"Yes."

"i didn´t knew it hitted you so deep, i´m so sorry. Oh my god, am i the cause of your lower back pain?"

"I could say so."

You didn´t know what to say. You were feeling terible, he wasn´t a bad person, he was just doing his job. You moved next to him and gave him a soft hugh. "I´m so sorry, i didn´t mean it. You must hate me for this."

"You were just doing your job. You were under pressure. And i started the fight, anyway."

He smelled good, and he was warm. Secretly, you wanted to stay hugged to him.

"If our jobs can´t be diplomatic, maybe we can. So we can avoid more disasters."

"i think that is a great idea." As soon as he finishes telling you this, you fell a thick hand embracing your shoulder and pulling you closer. You didn´t move. Did he also like the hugh? "Is it okay?" He asked, looking at you. "Yes", you said.

"S-since we are not hating each other this night, may i say, you look cute in bathing clothes."

You blushed, looking down. "You are not bad, too" You feel his hand through your hair. You didn´t pushed it away, so he understood the sign: It was all okay from you. He grabbed your waist and pulled you to straddle his waist.

"One night, love?" He asked.

"One night." You responded.

He was layed on his back and you were on top of him. You leaned and gave him a soft peck in his lips. You pull away and look into his eyes, your hands cupped his cheeks.

He placed you on his lap, while sitting. Then, his mouth sharply attacked yours, tongue asking permission to explore your mouth. As you gave it, he lifted you and possitioned you on the bed, staying on top. He broke the kiss to take of your tank top (you weren´t with a bra, since you were going to sleep) and went to work on your breasts. He sucked one nipple while one of his hands were supporting him on the bed and the other were tracing your thigh.

"Please, pet, open your legs for me."

You opened, but not enough for his opinion.

He left your breasts and went down. He gently took of your short and penties. But then he brutally grabbed your knees saying: " I said, before, for you to open your legs". It burned were he was touching you. With your knees in his hands, he placed then on his shoulders and went down to your cunt. He passed a hand and licked it, looking at you. "Well done, y/n, already wet for me". He gave kisses at your inner thighs, trailing them to finally lick your folds. "Daddy´s girl, say a number until 20".

"four"

He quickly bit your clit, making you scream in pleasure and surprise. He inserted two fingers inside you, curling them at an affordable pace, while sucking your cunt like a hungry man. You put your hand on his head, signaling to go faster. He did as you plead, making you a moaning mess. You feel a heat grow in your stomach.

"Hen-ry, i think i´m gonna...". You cum before you could finish.

He places a soft kiss to your belly.

"Sit, my dove". You sit. He lays almost in the middle of the bed. "Now, sit on my face."

"Are you crazy? if i not kill you first, you´ll be injured!"

"Baby girl, have you never done that?"

"No."

"I am sure you will like it. And you would be in completely control."

He gave you his hand to gide you to kneel over his face. You now were hovering it. He grabbed your hips, pulling you down. You were scared and resisted to him. "I´m to heavy. I´m not skinny, you are going to suffocate, or i´ll even break your neck or your nose". He became impacient and pulled you down, even you trying to resist to him. As soon as you sit, you feel his wet tongue circling your hole. You let a moan out. He let go of your hips and you got out of his face. "See, nothing happened to me. You are not heavy. You are perfect. You are entirelly perfect. Now do as i told you." You slowly sit back at his face. He starts to eat you, putting his tongue inside you many times, his tongue dancing all over your vagina. He roughtly smack your ass and growl. He was making you feel every sensation you could before cumming again. As soon as he growled again, you came on his mouth, soaking his chin. You get out of him. He was going to lay you again but you stopped him. You guidded him to sit on the edge of the bed and take of his shorts; you kneel, taking his already hard cock in your hand, smoothing a little before putting in your mouth. As you did, he shivered to the attention being given to his erection. You hollowed your cheeks and started to take it as deep as you could. The tip hitted the back of your throat, making you gag, the vibrationg hitting his sensitive spot, making him moan roughtly. He takes your hair and starts to guide your pace. You noticed he was reaching his orgasm and started to give special treatment to the tip of his dick, however, he sarted to try to pull it of. "what are you doing?"

"I´m not gonna cum on your throat. Not today, pet."

He pushes you away and you lay on the bed. He places himself between your legs and insert two fingers inside you, straching you out for him. He leans and takes you to a kiss. Suddenly, you fee him entering you. You break the kiss and moans to loud, your nails scratchin his back. He starts thrusting. The sound was intoxicating. You buck your hips, meaning for him to go faster. His thrusts became hard, but not hard enough to leave bruises, since you´d have to wear a bikini tomorrow. His breath were unsteady and you were soaking. "Henry, it´s comming!". After a couple of seconds you cum all over him. "Do you want me to take it of? We forgot the condom."

"No need, tomorrow i´ll take a pill. Go ahead, daddy." As soon as you finished, he let out a shy moan and came. He quickly kissed you before getting out.

He laid beside you, without breath. You get up and straddle him.

"You know, secretly, i´ve always wanted to ride you". You say massagim his cheast. You possition him in your entrance and you sit on it. He sits and hugs you. Then, he grabs your waist and you place your hands on his shoulders. You starts to move your hips and he follows your pace. After some kisses your speed increased and you both cum. You stay on top of him for a while, hugging his huge torso. Suddenly, he slightly arched his back. He hoped you didn´t notice the stiffnes of his muscles, but you did. You imediately get out of him.

"is it your back?"

"it´s nothing."

"of course it is." You say upset.

"Darling, it was just a little stiffness, i´m getting old". He kisses your cheek. "Let´s go take a bath, we are both soaking wet". He lifts you on his arms bridal style and caries you.

After the bath, you were cuddling in bed.

"What time is it?" You asked.

"Three am."

"Hen, how did you know what i liked during sex?"

"Well, you have been always in a defensive mood, always trying to prove yourself, how you never need help. So i thought that it had a big chance of, actually, you just wanting someone soft and caring for you, leading and helping. Besides, you didn´t stop me, so i just kept going."

You blushed at his explanation. "Henry, why did you ask me to say a number, before?"

"Oh! I wanted to know how many times I'd make you cum."

You then realised." What if I had said twenty?"

"Well, then I guess we would be up until the sun rises".

You looked at him incredulous.

" You know, that face sitting thing, i think i should try it more times."

"My face is always available for you whenever you want, dove". He says with a smile.

You both stay in silence for some minutes, then you say: "You know, maybe, we could repeat the sex. We just let our work go, and we be ourselves for a while."

"I would very much appreciate that." You both fall asleep.

The next morning, it was your last day on the island, so Camilla decided to spent the day on the beach again.

"What is that between your legs?" Camilla asked.

You looked down to see light bruises at your inner thighs.

"i must have beaten somewhere."

"I imagine that Henry´s lap could be called somewhere." She says laughing.

"Hey! I could have sleept with anyone!"

"Sure, then Henry´s back scratches are from somewhere unknown as well". Camilla smirked.

"Oh, shut up". You both laughed.

#henry cavill #superman #dc universe #henry cavill fanfiction #fanfiction #geralt of rivia #henry cavil husband #henry cavill canon #witcher geralt #fluff #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavil x reader #the witcher #the witcher fanfiction

135 notes · View notes

onpurposeilovehimonpurpose · 10 months ago

Text

Get to Know Me!

Tagged by @rockingtheorange

Last song: Mi Gente - J. Balvin & Willy William 🎶 From my playlist, because I'm not counting "If I Loved You" by Vagabond even though my tv happens to be playing that scene right now.

Last film: Red, White & Royal Blue because I'm currently watching it as usual. (but if I have to choose one that isn't that... Oh yeah, I introduced my mom to The Beat Beneath My Feet a couple of days ago. A non-Nick movie? Probably Barbie in the theater months ago.

Currently reading: "Rojo, Blanco y Sangre Azul" by Casey McQuiston

Currently watching: It's a theme here. I'm watching "Red, White & Royal Blue", to be specific, it's the museum scene.

Currently consuming: queso and chips

Currently craving: strawberry milkshake

Were you named after anyone?

No, and I suppose in a way, I named myself.

When was the last time you cried?

While I was writing a fic today, there are just some things that my characters must go through, but I go through it with them.

Do you have kids?

No, but I am a very proud aunt.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I've played many, none of them well though. My favorite was something I haven't played since junior high called "Volley Tennis", it was so fun.

Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, but I try to tone it down, though it's a go-to defense and a go-to ice breaker that I probably use way too often.

What's the first thing people notice about you?

Usually that I look much younger than I actually am? Because it seems to be a thing that always comes up a few minutes into a conversation? I think anyway. I honestly am not sure though.

What's your eye color?

Green, but maybe more like a sea glass green.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all day! But oh please give me truly understandable angst and slow burn first.

Any talents?

I believe I'm a talented writer and baker, maybe I have some other ones, but I'm not sure anymore what they are as mostly those are the things I do most often.

Where were you born?

Chicago

What are your hobbies?

I have so many, maybe too many. Writing, reading, arts & crafts, building miniatures, going to SPN cons, collecting RWRB books in all languages available, singing, listening to music, road trips, watching baking shows.... probably a lot more.

Do you have any pets?

Right now, I have one dog. But it hurts to say that because I will always have more than that in my heart.

How tall are you?

1.67m

Favorite subject in school?

Art, because that was my reprieve from the otherwise hellish experience. Even if I wasn't good at it, it never mattered to my teacher.

Dream job?

I would like to be a published author who makes enough money not to do anything else but write. Or, I would like to work in the film industry as the person who organizes and keeps track of props and clothing. I've heard so many different titles for that role, so I won't be specific, lol. I just love organizing and doing that job would be awesome.

I'm tagging @radberryz @didsomeonesaybuffet @poisonfayri @sunnysideprince

#getting to know me #red white and royal blue

23 notes · View notes

sstan-hoe · 2 years ago

Text

-> AO3 | WATTPAD | WEBSITE

-> REQUESTS/ASKS | MASTERLISTS | TAGLIST

[s: smut | a: angst | f: fluff | d: dark]

you do not have permission to copy, translate or post my writing on any other platform — I do not own the rights to the character = this is for entertainment purposes only! which also means I write when I feel like it.

reblog or/and comment! they mean so much more than a like. I appreciate you taking the time to read my fics, please take another second to reblog and/or comment, maybe leave a little feedback.

Untitled [s/f]

mob!bucky; a relationship is built on trust and you trust Bucky enough to give up everything for a moment. Let him take care of you in every way possible.

Untitled [s/d]

lloyd hansen; it is well known that Lloyd Hansen has anger issues, but what if Lloyd has a woman that matches his temper? Fight fire with fire – or fuck fire with fire.

Untitled

sugar daddy!andy barber; like most young adults you struggled with money, the university didn't pay itself after all. It is hard, but when a friend drags you to a special bar...it might get easier [ > potentially more parts if people want it]

Untitled [s/f]

baby trap!andy; Andy cheats with you on Laurie, but you want more. You had to make sure he leaves her and stays with you…what better way than a baby? Laurie couldn’t give him that, could she now.

Barber's Production: The Burden That Weighs Heavy [s/f/a]

pornstar!nick/pornstar!reader; your mother is sick and no one cares to help but you, the constant bad news should leave you broken however you’re not giving up. With three jobs a week it still isn’t enough to pay the bills and you have to search for money somewhere else, somewhere, something where your mother doesn’t have to know about.

Barber's Production: Only You Matter [s/f]

pornstar!steve kemp/waitress/barkeep!reader; You met this charming, enhancing man in the bar you work at and from the first second on you were hooked.

Show Me How: Starting of Easy, huh [s/f]

ceo!bucky/baker!reader; it's time to try out a few kinks you had in mind since seeing Bucky, however nothing seems too hard for him. (Chapter 3)

They Changed Me Forever: The Past Always Comes Back to Hound You [s/f/a/d]

mob!andy/mob!lloyd; you can't get enough of them, they're like a drug. Everything feels good, until bad news reveals what has hounded you for weeks.

You're Arms Are Home: This Was A One Time Thing [s/f/a]

ex!husband!dilf!steve rogers/uncle!bucky; steve and you split over a year ago, but still you end up in his bed most nights, he was an addiction. [to be released in May, no date yet! Still in works, along with inspiration and storyline planning!]

Untitled (potential series) [s/a/f]

succubus!reader/(steve); he is the Golden Boy everyone loves, he wouldn't be naughty or dirty...well good for him you showed up and gave him a taste of sin. [end of May/beginning of June, no date yet! Still in works, along with inspiration and storyline planning!]

Untitled [f/s]

pre-outbreak!joel miller; that man loves his daughter more than everything, even when she sets him up with the pretty neighbour. Though he couldn't be mad at her, when he'd been too oblivious to the flirting.

Untitled [s]

joel miller; you wouldn't say you were the jealous type – Ellie would say you are –, you're just a woman knowing what's hers and not liking it when other women try to flirt with it knowing exactly what they're doing.

Untitled [a/f/s]

joel miller; you never had a family, but Ellie and Joel make up for it. Add to that a potential brother in law who treats you like his own sister. (potential pregnancy)

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen smut #andy barber smut #andy barber x reader #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #steve kemp smut #steve kemp x reader #nick fowler x reader #nick fowler smut #vee's pornstars updates⭐️��

84 notes · View notes

romanticfatale · 5 months ago

Note

hi! i don’t usually send asks but i have to say that i LOVE your fashion/style so much. i’m also a goth transman with long hair so it’s really nice to feel represented with your posts! also if you’re ok with sharing,where do you get your clothes from mostly? or do you make them? i find it really hard to find gothic/alt clothing that’s more masculine so anything helps!

Thanks!

A combination of things. Thrift stores, eBay, Poshmark, Macy’s, a few pieces from taobao Lolita shops, and I tailor some my clothes to fit better.

I try to buy non-US shoe sizes since my shoe size is more common overseas for men or unisex unless I look at boy’s shoes. Women’s shoes in the US are sadly inferior quality much of the time.

My style heavily leans towards aristocratic and corporate goth. With that in mind:

Tommy Hillfiger, Ted Baker, Bar III, Nick Graham, Robert Graham, and Paul Jones have some of my favorite trousers, dress shirts, and waistcoats. They’re not brands you look to for alt or goth, but my black lace trousers, floral dress shirts, print vests and sports coats, and many other favorite pieces come from them. Styling right is part of the effort. They have fun pieces if you wade through 30 pages of bland-and-average menswear.

Buy winter clothes in the summer. Buy summer clothes in the winter. I’ve bought $300+ stuff marked down to $30~$50 because they’re “out of season” or low on stock.

Ross and thrift for some interesting but cheap items. I sadly passed up a studded long sleeve fish net shirt last week.

International Lolita shops like LolitaWardrobe and My-Lolita-Dress for blouses, coats, hats. Lolita, Aristocrat, and Ouji are luxury fashion so they are more expensive. I dislike Lolita trousers, honestly just buy actual men’s trousers from known menswear stores.

alice auaa, Madaraningen, Milkboy, and Lad Musician are some nice brands with unique items. They’re also expensive however, but even getting ideas from them is helpful to recreate. Lad Musicusn inspired me into more masculine florals.

eBay and local thrift for unique vintage jewelry. Vintage coats and accessories go a long way to style a contemporary outfit.

60s and 70s had more frills on men’s clothes. Women’s 70s~80s tops and coats have shoulder padding and were made to look more masculine.

Prints, patterns, and textures are great. Straight bright red on black can be jarring if not look costumey so corduroy, houndstooth, or herringbone can tone it down while still looking either alt or professional (or both).

Multi purpose wardrobe pieces. A herringbone red vest can be alt or job interview depending on how it’s accessorized.

Be specific. Don’t just look for “goth rings” look for “anatomical heart ring with dagger” or “spider with eyeball body” or whatever your idea will be. Someone somewhere Will have it, give or take price. This also helps you look more unique. Everyone and their goth mothers have the same dagger earrings by now because every Etsy and eBay jeweler uses the same charms from the same retailers.

If you Don’t want to spend a lot of money, learning tools of trade for cheap helps. Use sandpaper to distress clothes, learn embroidery, braid scrap cloth. Bed sheets and curtains are a good source of cheap swaths of fabric. I used scraps from tailored leather trousers to make a braided hat band. My other trouser trimmings I made into masks. Cut holes into a shirt in a spider web pattern. Cut off the sleeves of a shirt and reattach them with a zipper. Creative endeavors add a unique touch.

I’ve had the luxury of a brief stint at a couple well paid jobs, ten ish years to build up my wardrobe, and another 3 ish years to get explicitly masc pieces so don’t feel like you have to rush right now. Focus on adding to your current wardrobe. If you ever think “this would look better if I had red shoes” save for the red shoes. It adds up over the years.

#menswear #fashion #men’s fashion #transmasc #trans men #goth #goth trans

4 notes · View notes

laresearchette · 1 year ago

Text

Friday, November 10, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: FOR ALL MANKIND (Apple TV+) THE CURSE (Paramount +) EVERYTHING CHRISTMAS (W Network) 9:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? AFTER THE BLAST: THE WILL TO SURVIVE (ABC Feed) BELLE COLLECTIVE (TBD - OWN Canada) THE CURSE (TBD)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA 007: ROAD TO A MILLION DINA HASHEM: DARK WHISPERS KANDAHAR TREVOR WALLACE: PTERODACTYL

CBC GEM CRIME (Season 2) LE COYOTE TRAMPOLINE GYMNASTICS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS (starts today, goes until November 12th)

CRAVE TV A CHANCE FOR CHRISTMAS EVE AND THE FIRE HORSE FOUR CHRISTMASES GODFATHER OF HARLEM (Season 3, Episode 1) INTO THE DEEP THE JOURNEY HOME LAMBORGHINI: THE MAN, THE LEGEND MIRACLE IN MOTOR CITY ONE WEEK PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH SISU STILL MINE VIOLENT NIGHT

DISNEY + STAR BOBI WINE: THE PEOPLE’S PRESIDENT

NETFLIX CANADA AT THE MOMENT (TW) THE KILLER TEAM NINJA WARRIOR (Season 2)

2023 FIFA MEN'S U17 WORLD CUP (TSN/TSN4) 6:48am: Spain vs. Canada

GRAND SLAM OF CURLING (SN) 11:00am: National - Draw 14 (SN) 3:00pm: National - Draw 15 (SN) 7:00pm: National - Draw 16

NHL HOCKEY (SNWest/TSN4) 7:00pm: Flames vs. Leafs (SN1) 7:00pm: Wild vs. Sabres (SN) 10:00pm: Sharks vs. Knights

NBA BASKETBALL (TSN/TSN3/TSN5) 7:30pm: Nets vs. Celtics (SN Now) 8:30pm: Clippers vs. Stars (TSN/TSN3/TSN5) 10:00pm: Lakers vs. Suns

AMPLIFY (APTN) 7:30pm: Anishinaabe electro-pop artist Wolf Saga draws inspiration for his music from a painting his grandmother bought, which connects him to his culture. This episode features Richard Gracious, Janis Monture, Elder Mary Lou Smoke and Betty Albert.

THE FATHER (CTV2) 8:00pm: A man refuses assistance from his daughter as he ages. As he tries to make sense of his changing circumstances, he begins to doubt his loved ones, his own mind and the fabric of his reality.

7TH GEN (APTN) 8:00pm: Matthew Monias - Mattmac: Many people know Matthew Monias by his stage name, Mattmac. Discover how this Oji-Cree blind recording artist from Garden Hill First Nation is taking the world by storm with his music and blazing a trail with his advocacy work.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JERSEY (Slice) 8:00pm: La Finn

PLANET WONDER (CBC) 8:30pm: How the language used about climate change affects the motivation to do something about it.

A DASH OF CHRISTMAS (CTV Life) 8:00pm: To apply for her dream job at a foodie startup, an executive must learn to bake. When she recruits a handsome baker to help her, she inadvertently ends up in a Christmas Bakeoff.

FRIDAY NIGHT THUNDER (APTN) 8:30pm: The inaugural NASCAR Pinty's race finally arrives at Ohsweken Speedway and Aaron Turkey proves to be a hometown hero in the historic event. Meanwhile, Joshua Hill hustles to get his car back on the track after getting into a wreck the night before.

THE FIFTH ESTATE (CBC) 9:00pm: The Girls Around Robert G. Miller: In partnership with Radio-Canada's investigative program, "Enquête," "The Fifth Estate" examines troubling claims that a Canadian billionaire had a long history of paying teenagers for sex.

TRANSPLANT (CTV) 9:00pm: Bash reconnects with the man who got him to Canada.

BEAT BOBBY FLAY: HOLIDAY THROWDOWN (Food Network Canada) 9:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Katie Lee Biegel cracks the wishbone with Turkey Day classics and makes this holiday reunion a surprise family affair. Chefs Darnell Ferguson, Bryan Voltaggio and Michael Voltaggio attempt to squash Bobby Flay with a new turkey tradition.

CATWOMAN: HUNTED (Cartoon Network Canada) 9:00pm: Catwoman attempts to steal a priceless jewel.

VIOLENT NIGHT (Crave) 9:00pm: An elite team of mercenaries breaks into a family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone hostage inside. However, they aren't prepared for a surprise combatant: Santa Claus is on the grounds, and he's about to show why this Nick is no saint.

W5 (CTV) 10:00pm: The Mystery Bomber: "W5" investigates the identity of a would-be bank robber who exploded in a dramatic heist.

CRIME BEAT (Global) 10:00pm: Nothing is What it Seems: Part 1: A man walking his dog comes upon a neighbor's garage engulfed in flames; when the smoke clears, a woman is found dead with drug paraphernalia nearby; nothing is what it seems, and police are left combing through a web of lies to find the killer.

#cdntv #cancon #canadian tv #canadian tv listings #amplify #7th gen #the real housewives of jersey #planet wonder #friday night thunder #the fifth estate #transplant #W5 #crime beat #fifa men's world cup #curling #nhl hockey #nba basketball

3 notes · View notes

himbos-hotline · 1 year ago

Note

tell me about your OCs 👀👀👀

Okay so I have a LOT oc aew ocs because theres so many little guys there that I wanted to make a special little guy for! super big help from my sibling who was always like "do we need another bab?" and then I nod.

Im putting them under a read more option cuz theres SO FUCKING MANY

Jayden Gray Orton: Jay

My most special of gals. They are the girls,gays and the theys! A wrestler for AEW that started off in the JAS before joining the BCC and now a member of the elite [ish...kinda like elite adjacent] Her pronouns are: He/They/She/Zem with no real prefrence. Zey simply ARE gender! a pop-punk bitch whose made of love and violence, can and will bleed and also break a few of their hearing aids in the way- has been wrestling since they were 13- adores regal with everything. Dating the polycule: Wheeler Yuta, Kenny Omega, Hangman Page and Adam Cole [baybay]

Iris rose:

Technically my siblings OC but my child-in-law [@itsnoosetome] The sweetest little southern bell. Wish we could say that we named her after the Orvelle peck song but we sadly didnt. The best sweet trans gal youll meet, sweet to adam cole and dating brit baker dmd. A doctor with AEW, Iris has seen and heard pretty much, and stitched Darby up enough times that its become her daily task. Pronouns are: She/They

Delilah Hart:

Not related to the Hart family, Think more Roxie hart from Chicago. Another trans girl in the medical staff. Delilah was and has been there since the start of the company. very quiet and rather shy. They went to the same highschool as Max- being the new kid when they moved from Tuscany Italy to Long Island. Married too Chuck Taylor despite them "not remembering the wedding" since Delilah hadn't finished her medical transition. Mostly fluent in Italian, Delilah is trying their best and is a skill, kindhearted sweetheart whose not afraid of people. Gets worn down quickly by people who ask stupid questions

Rosalind Emmerson:

The dress maker for Delilahs wedding. Got into wrestling as a ring announcer in CZW/PWG/other indy shows. Chuck introduced her and Orange and they striked up a quick friendship, the two of them being total opposites as people. Being of spanish decent, Rosa started working in mexico and eventually was hired by AEW. Pronouns she/it. They identify as nonbinary

Sparrow Elmswood:

Nicknamed Splash because of constantly being covered in paint, Splash helps with set design for promos as well as clothes design. A loud, boisterous but gentle demiboy- Sparrow uses all pronouns but she/her. He enjoys space and always has a notebook. Splash also frequents the production truck to help make entrance videos/video packages and loves it. Shipped with jungle boy

Nathaniel ''Natty' Paccoto:

sometimes something short and sweet comes in small packages and for Natty thats very true. Another demiboy they work for the ring crew- setting up and taking down the ring as well as stocking weapons [and making sure danhausen is okay under there]. regularly found taking naps backstage during the show or playing basketball they quickly grab Nick Jacksons attention as friends and then something just a little more. Natty takes a little while to become aware with the world but once he knows thats happening- boy do they not shut up. Pronouns are he/him. Never seen without a headband/something on his head

Elenore 'ellie' Kingston:

A camera woman for AEW, Ellie is regularly seen with her brother or outside the arena taking pictures that most could consider macarbe. She is very femmine and soft despite all the anger that she has- this leads to her pushing emotions down. The camera person that Jay attacks when they debut with the JAS [Jay didnot want too] Ellie adores her job. dating Ruby Soho just because Eddie would not shut the fuck up about her ["Look if I go on a date with her..will you ask mox out?" "deal.." "deal"]

Lyric Senericha:

Ricky as they are known are the older sibling of HOOK. Mostly around backstage to support their father/brother Lyric is bright and happy and reguarly helps out backstage just wanting to be useful. Aroace they and matt are platonicly dating. They are the triple AAA and reguarly found trying to get people to try the milkshakes from whatever store is the closest. Their pronouns are they/them

Anne Reed:

Your sterotypical happy go lucky nothing can go wrong young woman. Shes bright and bouncy picture a golden retriever and you have anne. She adores pirates and kandi beads. Crushing on John silver, she just thinks hes a pirate in discuse. She also works in the clothing department and she adores halloween. Anne is so much like emlo

Dana Mallory:

Dana works back home in indiana, working on merch designs for the best friends and especially Trent's ring gear and stuff. Her and trent met sharing the same ward after spinal surgery. Dana is an ambigatory wheelchair used.

Sylvester Harwood:

Not related to Dax, Sly is the one to help wrestlers with high spots. A former star of stage and screen as a skateboarder and rollerblade star, Darbys attention was grabbed instantly, now xey just vibe. despite their love for trying to kill themselves, Xey are pretty chill. Loves using outdated slang

Coal Cindela:

A former drag king turned makeup artist. Coal is facinated by brody king. Theres not much to say about coal apart from the fact they're outgoing and bubbly. pronouns are They/He/Fae. They adore fireflies and primarily exist at night.

Aiko Wanatabe:

A young traumatised person Aiko was born and raised harshly in Kyushu, Japan. A Kenny friend and is the first one to notice DiD traits in him. Aiko is rather quiet and withdrawn When she slowly warms to you she quietly takes care of you, gives you some of her food if you look hungry, gives gently pat pats to make feel better. She pratically clings to riho- her safe person.

Kyanite Wyatt:

little sister is the late bray wyatt. Kyan moved to aew to help with security. a total opposite of his brother and love interest they start appearing on BTE. crushing on brandon. No he also doesnt understand why. Kyan likes spicy things and likes biting on things

3 notes · View notes

wondcrstrucks · 11 months ago

Text

☆ –– (chris evans, he/him, cis man) who is SAWYER CLARINGTON anyways? ew. you don’t know about HIM, we’ll bet you want to. they’re feeling 42 and RUNNING WITH HIS DOGS feels like a perfect night to them. rumor has it they’re FINICKY and OVERCRITICAL because they care, but they’re also INTELLIGENT and COMPASSIONATE in the best way. HE works to make a little money as an CO-OWNER OF SWEET NOTHING & BAKER. they’ve rented a place on cornelia street in the form of A BROWNSTONE. EVERMORE (A) & SWEET NOTHING (B) is the song they could dance to the beat of forevermore.

STATS !

birth name : sawyer jasper clarington nick name : baker boy birth date : june 13th sexuality: bisexual biromantic currently residing : brownstone 10 occupation : co-owner of sweet nothing/baker

family : james clarington (father), andrea clarington (mother), oliver clarington (adopted brother), elorie clarington (sister), maverick clarington (adopted brother), rosaline clarington (daughter) pets : two rescue dogs relationship status: married to liliana clarington notable past relationships: n/a

hair color : dark brown eye color : blue height : 6'2" noticeable scars: various knicks and cuts from baking piercings : n/a tattoos: lily and rose tattoo over his chest

HISTORY !

sawyer clarington's life starts on a warm summer morning. the light of his parents' life from the time he is born and the immediately favorite of the family. his life is easy, and he's not a fussy baby (much to his mother's relief). but the first four years of his life are lonely with only his parents to keep him company.

then comes elorie, a new addition to a family with so much love to give. sawyer takes his role as big brother very seriously and never lets el out his sight for too long. where ever his little sister goes, sawyer is happy to trail along.

then comes the adoption of oliver, another younger sibling for sawyer to look over. his parents are more than happy to have sawyer tag along in helping with his younger brother, even if he more reluctant to do so this time around.

sawyer starts playing football during his middle school years, loving the thrill of it all. it was something that was just his and his alone. he was great at it and eventually made the varsity team in high school.

then comes shay, the final sibling to complete the set. sawyer is 16, and his parents are seemingly always busy. so sawyer has to step up to the plate and help out more often. at first, sawyer is happy to do so but then realizes it means missing out on spending time with friends. but they're his younger siblings and they need him, so sawyer watches them when his parents can't.

everything changes when sawyer tears his acl, pcl, and mcl in his knee during a football game. he can suddenly no longer play football, barely able to make it out of the house to get through his senior year. he spends more and more time at home, his entire future suddenly turning to ash in front of him. he'd planned on riding out a football scholarship at whichever school would take him and suddenly that wasn't an option anymore.

so he watches his grandmother bake when she'd come over to help him watch his younger siblings. it's something that keeps his mind off everything and he gets a job at a local bakery helping out whenever he can. he also starts saving up for a place of his own, needing the space to just be. he tries to keep up with what is going on his sibling's life but it's a lot harder when they're not all under the same roof.

as soon as graduation hits, sawyer moves out of his parents house and into a small new york apartment on his own. he gets a job at a sweet nothing, starting off as nothing more than a cashier that some times gets to help bake things. it's there he meets liliana and immediately falls in love with her.

he slowly works his way up in the bakery, become an assistant at the same time he proposes to lili. he gets the job of baker just a few months after marrying lili, and gets the head baker job the day after lili tells him she's pregnant. sweet nothing and his little family are everything he needs in life.

when the old owner steps down and offers up ownership of the bakery to sawyer, he doesn't even hesitate to take it. then comes the brownstone, a big home for his family to live in. and then everything comes crashing down when his father announces he's sick. it takes everything in sawyer not to drop everything and move back home, but he wouldn't do that to lili or rosie.

when his father dies, it's overwhelming. a sense of grief that never goes away and sawyer buries himself in sweet nothing. the entire menu gets an overhaul.

then his mother gets sick and sawyer feels like the entire world is crumbling around him. sweet nothing gets a complete makeover and it's only rosie begging not to leave her friends that stops him from suggesting moving again. but if he can't move back home, he can bring his siblings to him. he offers up the spare bedrooms and is shocked when all his siblings slowly start piling up in them. together, they can grieve everything they've lost.

WANTED !

co-owner of sweet nothing: sweet nothing is sawyer's second child but he needs someone to help run it. he wants to spend more time with his family now that they're all under one roof again, and this muse is the way to do so. they were probably already a baker and had been for a while. friends: other parent friends (or friends through their kids), people who frequent sweet nothing and like sawyer, or brownstone neighbors that ended up being his friend. all the friends. fellow volunteers: sawyer adores dogs and probably spends a lot of time helping out at a local shelter. give him friends that met that way.

#( &. too soft for it all: sawyer )#( &. intro: sawyer )#this is so long???? and for what???

2 notes · View notes

scumbag-monthly · 2 years ago

Text

The Young Ones - Interesting 🎉

Original air date: 7.12.82

Reviewed by: @the-tardis-in-221b-baker-street

I’m going to jump right in and explain why I chose to talk about this particular episode. With a show consisting of 12 exceptionally and fantastically written episodes, it is just too difficult to select an all time favourite episode of The Young Ones. However if you had to hold me to ransom, I’d still not be able to choose but the episode Interesting, is pretty much up there amongst the favourites. The added fact is, it’s also a PARTY!

The opening sequence to the show is something that changes from series one to series two which I must say, series one’s opening is the preferred out of the two. If you were to show this show’s opening to anyone who had never seen it before, I feel like you would be able to build a pretty good picture into what the show entails and what sort of characters you’re dealing with. Points to mention, Vyvyan, the looks of which would stereotypically not be that of studying to be a doctor, Rick with the protesting, Neil the hippie looking bored with his studies and Mike paying someone on the side for his degree. I don’t think that you could have used anything else to use for the opening’s music. Cliff Richard, The Young Ones, it’s cheesy, need I say more. Already an iconic song but I think it just makes it even better to know that the guys sung it themselves. It’s got that added touch.

The first scene of the episode, we see Rick and Neil attempting to move the furniture around, as well as Mike’s TV. After it breaks in Neil’s hands, they are both quick to cover up what they had done when Mike walks into the living room. The way they acted when he came in could be compared to a parent walking in to find their kid had done something naughty. It has been said multiple times by the cast members that Rick and Vyvyan were supposed to be the naughty children and Neil and Mike are the Mum and Dad of the group so this really solidifies this. You can really tell who is the alpha of the house and that is most certainly, definitely Mike. When questioned about the fag butt on the carpet, Rick and Neil are so quick to blame Vyvyan, almost like their necks are on the line.

The disgusting hovel of a student house the boys are in is just as iconic as the characters themselves. The more you pay attention to the background, the more you notice and the little hidden items, left open for interpretation. For instance, the horrible (I think it’s cool though) 70s bar covered in tat. The mounted deer head above the doorway to the living room (I’d hate to think where they got that, probably nicked from a pub). The vases, fancy lamps etc were probably put out to try and show off to the guests of the party. The Anti Nuclear Campaign poster that clearly Rick put up. The mismatched furniture, really stereotypical of a student house.

“He says he’s only got to do two jobs ‘cause he hasn’t got many friends, you know.”

“What are you on about, Neil? He’s got loads of friends.”

“Oh, yes, but apparently he doesn’t like any of them.”

Enter Vyvyan with the frankenstein hoover. When I say this scene made me laugh the first time I watched it, I absolutely HOWLED. The physical prop element of the 80s is always a favourite of mine, whether it be an obvious dummy (my favourite) or it be a hoover that has a mind of its own and sucks up hippies.

“This is absolutely brilliant! You can’t get any cleaner than that!” - Vyvyan

The vegetables in the fridge are worth a mention too. The props department must have had an absolute whale of a time creating them. It’s just the disgusting, exaggerated, gross student fridge coupled with vegetables begging to be eaten even though they had seen better days, is genius. The fourth wall breaking when Rick pushes Neil’s friend into the fridge was also a genius move. They are self aware that kids might be watching. It makes me wonder whether the BBC actually had seen what they had done and made them put a warning on it, or that they had decided to do that as a fourth wall thing.

“How was that for you darling?” “Electric.” This little silly prop when Mike pulls the plug out the socket is one of my favourite moving props out of the entire series. That coupled with the quick throwaway gag is just top tier for me.

I was listening to the Talking Bottom podcast and when interviewing Paul Jackson, they had mentioned the sandwich that falls on Dawn French (which by the way was hilarious foreshadowing) the props department had shown the original sandwich prop that they had made to the producers, which took ages to make. They then turned around and told them to make it ten times bigger!

I know he doesn’t really tolerate Neil as such because he’s stuck in that house for the university year, but the way he immediately tells Neil to “Tell it (Neil’s friend) to get out” so aggressively, it really makes me wonder about Rick’s tolerance for hippies in general. I would say with all the bickering, squabbling, punching, kicking, bullying etc, what it really boils down to is that although these four misfits are stuck together, they’re really friends with each other. So even with that in mind, if Rick is sort of friends with Neil, does that mean Neil is an exception to his opinion on hippies?

“Look I'm afraid you’ve got the wrong house, I don’t believe in God.”

“Well then how do you know his name, smart arse?”

Dawn French’s small performance in this episode was so memorable and further reason why this is one of my favourite episodes is because it has some of the most excellently written gags.

“Ah! A locust!”

“No, I'm supposed to be an ant.”

Silly, clever, genius. Need I say more.

Coming from an interest in the costuming of the show, it’s very interesting to note the costume changes in this particular episode as it doesn’t happen much outside of this episode. Rick’s blazer and jeans swapped with canary yellow dungarees and two pins from his blazer for decoration. Whatever possessed him to have yellow dungarees, I shall never know. It makes me wonder whether he spent ages deciding which badges to put on his dungarees, or what was going to impress the people coming to the party. Or whether he just went “those ones will do” and be done with it. Even Neil had made a tiny effort but an effort nonetheless. I think the addition of a yellow waistcoat over his usual outfit made me laugh when I originally watched it. I can imagine he keeps it for special occasions.

Although Vyvan doesn’t have a costume change per say, it’s worth noting the forbidden blue drink that causes Vyvyan’s hair to fall out, which technically could be counted as a change in costume. I really want to know what that drink consisted of both contextually in the show and the actual physical drink that Ade had to down rather quickly. It looks like car de icer! From what’s been said in the past about Ade having a stomach of steel (looking at you Eddie Hitler which was confirmed by Ade that it was in fact actual lard he ate), that drink couldn’t have tasted that good. Also to add, I love that he is not even phased by this random woman who is in their living room calling him a ‘BEAST!’ and acts like what has just happened is normal. The 666 tattoo on his head is also a nice touch to the character. How and when did he get it done? We shall never know. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Mike when it came to dressing up for a party and no less than one of my favourite artists of all time, Adam Ant. I keep mentioning different interpretations but I can just imagine Mike looking up to Adam Ant. Adam Ant was, after all, a sex symbol of his the day. With his Prince Charming album released in 1981, it’s quite possible Mike saw that and went ‘Now there’s a man that can get the ladies’ and decided to copy him.

The scene with the four horsemen of the apocalypse to me was a good idea but something that could have been cut shorter, but worked for the gag with the sandwich. I did however like the effects of the background and that Death was just a skeleton dummy on the horse.

“Five minutes till the most important party of my life and then the house gets wrecked by a giant sandwich!”

It makes me wonder why they (mainly Rick - I think the others are just there because it’s their house as well) think this party is so important. I have several theories as to why they were throwing a party but here’s a few: 1) Rick probably went to invite a girl over, she saw it as an invitation for a party and not that he just wanted her over, so rumour spread around the campus that there was a party on and half of Scumbag turned up. 2) They genuinely made the effort to throw a party in order to A) get off with girlies and B) try to become popular and the guests mainly there because Mike invited them all, including the people from Rick’s class. Or 3) Rick just wanted an excuse to have Dr Morrison over and the invites got out of hand. The relationship that Rick has with Dr Morrison and indeed Mr Morrison with his students is a weird one. A lot of people will claim ‘it was a different time’ but it’s something about his chill vibes around his students that seems a little off to me.

“Look Rick, it’s only five minutes!”

“Tell that to Roger Bannister!”

Enter student party goers. Something tells me Rick isn’t used to throwing parties as when a couple of early students arrive, instead of being cool about it, he flies off the rails at them. The general annoyance of Rick is just so true to the character. Another favourite throw away prop gag is when Jennifer Saunders’ character actually says to the moving bannister that they were only five minutes early! Genius! If I could place myself somewhere in The Young Ones series, Jennifer Saunders’ character is exactly where I’d be. She’s clearly someone Rick knows as she’s got the blazer full of badges, but her outfit is the exact kind of outfit I would wear!

Vyvyan coming down the stairs and trying to impress the girls with his incorrect ‘press ups’ absolutely made me laugh so much when I first watched it. Also knowing from listening to Talking Bottom, I thought it was fascinating that it was said that the BBC originally wanted to cut it because it could be seen as ‘sexual’ but they went “bollocks!” because it’s literally just general stupidity in a boy trying to impress girls by doing a press up, like Vyvyan thinks he would impress them with.

“Hi Vyvyan, what are you doing?”

“Shut up, you girl!”

The sandwich that flew out of the sky and hit Dawn French doubling up as a sofa to the guests really adds the element of fantasy that The Young Ones so brilliantly has. Throughout the series, we see weird objects and scenes happening as if it’s a normal thing, like this exists in the realm of this madness. So using a sandwich as a sofa, totally makes sense as a concept.

Within five seconds of the record being played, we see the police coming in and smashing it up. This is a very tongue and cheek scene and as anarchic as Rick claims to be he smiles at them sweetly and even gives them a thumbs up! It really gives Rick the ‘all mouth, no trousers’ (ooer) personality.

The whole scene with Rick stealing Jennifer’s handbag and having a rifle through it is nothing but pure genius. Traditionally, or to my knowledge that I've always been told, there’s an unwritten rule about going in a woman’s handbag. This scene breaks that unwritten rule and throws it in the bin all because of one very silly, ignorant boy. Rick believing she had “brought him a present” when he had a tampon in his hand made me laugh so much when I first watched it which then made me cry with laughter when he realised what he had done. You can just feel the secondhand embarrassment radiating in the room, not just for Rick but the girl who he had stolen the handbag from and the other party goers.

Enter Mike The Cool Person. Mike’s joke “No, but I soon will be.” after someone says “Hi Mike!” is one of my favourite throw away gags in the entire 12 episodes of the show. It’s such a highly underrated joke! Neil’s entrance to the party couldn’t be any more Neil, It even looks like he brushed his hair! The incense was just the icing on the Neil cake.

The whole storyline of Cinderella coming round to the party for Mike was a weird one, but like I mentioned about the sandwich, it’s one of those things that makes you go “Oh, of course this is happening.” It would explain how Mike was dressed as Adam Ant. Her being turned into a pumpkin and then Mike, not realising it is Cinderella, carves into it really makes you go “OH NO!” It’s just so silly. I also love that Mike refers to her as “my girlfriend” even though she probably most definitely wasn’t and he was just saying it to show off.

Rip, Rig and Panic’s performance of You’re My Kinda Climate was a great song to get everyone hyped for the party. Seeing cut scenes of Neil, Vyvyan and Rick dance along to the music were a perfect representation as to how I could see those characters dance. Neil’s a bit more floaty hippie, Vyvyan is jumping up and down like a kid that’s had too much pop and Rick just awkwardly dancing in the corner. As much as the song is great, I almost become a bit more fixated on what’s happening in the background. You can see people bobbing along to the music but in certain scenes, you can see Rick, Vyvyan and Neil talking to one another looking like they actually, almost get on.

It’s amazing how quick that the other party guests get to the party straight after the pubs close. It’s almost as if they would much rather do anything other than go to the boys party. Also, by this point, it’s got to be around 11pm or slightly later because that’s when the average pub closes in the UK. The kind of guests that turn up, you can see the stereotypical people who have been invited, clearly Vyvyan’s mates turn up, Neil’s hippie friends(2), and all Ricks ‘friends’ congregate with the other people who were already there. It’s almost a wonder how many people just followed the crowd from the pub and aren’t actually students.

I like that when Rick talks to the anarchist who spray paints Rick’s face, that no one for the rest of the episode tells him that he has spray paint on his face and he fails to notice it’s even there. It doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that no one bothered to tell him. When Rick walked back to the kitchen, one thing I noticed was that he flinched when Vyvyan’s friends walked past him. It almost makes you wonder what they have done to him in the past. Or how come he’s frightened of them?

Neil running off to get anywhere but out of the grasp of Tommy Balowski and answering the door to party crashers made me laugh. It made me think that Neil has definitely tried hiding a joint from the police before. And it’s apparent that he smokes not only in the TV show, but also the Bachelor Boys book and Neil’s Book of the Dead. He doesn’t say anything at the door but coughs and blows smoke out of his nose and somehow still scares off the party crashers. Genius!

The next scene where Neil takes a puff on Warlock’s bong, is one of my favourite scenes in the whole episode. An honourable mention about this scene is that we get to see an angle of the house that we had previously not seen before, which gives us a better understanding of the scale of the space to the house. Neil floating off properly made me laugh the first time I watched it because it was such a perfect physical representation gag of getting high, quite literally. It’s so strong, he goes to space and sees robots on the moon! It’s certainly up there with the more surreal piece from the show that I absolutely ADORE. I’ve not mentioned before, but with a lot of older films and TV (specifically 80s comedies) I absolutely can’t help but laugh at obvious dummies. I don’t know whether it’s the unnatural stiffness of the body, the obvious wig on a dummy or the that you just know something is slightly off but it just makes me howl with laughter. You just can’t beat it. So seeing Neil come back down to earth as a dummy and it switches to actually him, will never not make me laugh.

It’s worth mentioning that with the scene where Vyvyan brags to his friends that he had just been wrecking the bathroom, even though it’s his house, how different but at the same time similar his outfit is to theirs. Their outfits follow the similar vibe of studs, chains, belts and even studs in their heads but theirs are black making Vyvyan really stand out in the blue denim. Note the studs in the head, it makes it look like they are almost part of a gang and Vyvyan is either one of them or trying to be part of their gang. Vyvyan’s two chains attached on the back of his jacket match the back of David Lloyd’s jacket. OR, is HE the gang leader? Evidence of this is where he orders them all to get stuff so they could perform surgery on the guy they had just knocked out.This might be me pulling a theory out of thin air though!

There is so much chaos in a small amount of time just seconds after this scene. The party crashers from earlier falling off the roof, the chimney sweep going down, Father Christmas falling down the chimney and Vyvyan being catapulted into the ceiling. It’s scenes like this that remind me of how very stupid this show is.

(Neighbour banging on the wall) “Shut up you old witch!” (cuts to a scene with a witch putting her broom through the wall hitting one of the punks) UNDERRATED THROWAWAY GAG!

A seemingly high Neil happened to come across the punks at the wrong time. From listening to Podcasto Catflappo (The Filthy, Rich and Catflap podcast - if you haven’t listened to it, WHY NOT because it’s fantastic!), there was an interview with David Lloyd and he confirmed that “KILL THE HIPPIE!” was an ad libbed line! Even though it was an ad libbed line, it’s one of the most memorable lines in the entirety of the show. Well done David Lloyd! The episode ending so suddenly after the brawl with Neil thinking it was all a dream was such a silly but appropriate way to end it.

Here we get to see another angle of Neil’s bedroom that we had previously not seen. You can build an idea of what sort of a person is like by their bedroom without seeing the person. Of course we know this is Neil’s bedroom, but if you take him out of the picture, you can see his rubber plant, Wayne, all the mysterious bottles (I would actually like to know what is in them), his guitar and the one thing that would throw you off, is the poster of seemingly Che Guevara. You know, I don’t think he’s known for his hippie approach?! But as we see that Neil in bed is actually the dream and he’s actually having his head kicked in by the punks, It now almost makes sense he had the poster because it’s not the reality. Apart from the personalisation of the room, I love how the bare bones of the room looks like a typical room you would find in a bedroom in a student house, even now. Props to the set designers.

Overall, like many of the other episodes, I don’t think you can actually fault this particular episode at all. There are so many perfect elements to the episode that not only can be left to interpretations, but are just genius pieces of writing. I know I've picked this appart to no end but it was so hard narrowing it down! If I had to introduce anyone into the world of The Young Ones, this episode along with Bambi might be the ones I would show them. Each episode is so excellently crafted that you don’t even need an introduction into the characters. You’ll feel like you already know them.

The Young Ones is such an important and timeless piece of British comedy history that should never be forgotten. Having only really got into the show since January 2021, it’s been a whirlwind of a time. Who knew a TV show with only 12 episodes would totally turn my world upside down to a point of no return. From making online friends, to making the costumes, to introducing me to a world of alternative comedy, I've enjoyed every minute. To top this all off, I got to meet one of The Young Ones in person, Nigel Planer, and got to tell him how much this silly little show means to me, whilst standing in front of him dressed as his character! To see him get a tear in his eye over my kind words and get so happy to see something I'd made inspired by him, and beaming when he saw me again at the photoshoot area meant every morsel of the world to me. You just can’t top that. To know that someone saw Nigel Planer leave the venue of the con I went to with MY can of Neil’s lentils that I designed myself and let him keep in his hands, makes my heart melt (and not to get all girlie but a little tear comes to my eye too every time I think of it).

I’m so happy to be a part of celebrating the 40th anniversary of the show and here’s to many, many more years celebrating it.

You utter, utter, UTTER… legends.

#the young ones #tyo #interesting #reviews #scumbag monthly #forty years of the young ones

9 notes · View notes

bethanydelleman · 2 years ago

Text

The Great Gatsby & Mansfield Park

These two books, written by very different people in very different eras, give me the same feeling. The first time I read Mansfield Park, the similar feeling was from this line:

They were careless people, Tom and Daisy – they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.

Because the first time I saw the book as Fanny did, I saw the Crawfords as invaders who kind of ruined this family and then escaped without being harmed, but then I read it again and I realized that what really makes me sad in each book is the sadness of unachievable dreams.

Gatsby never gets Daisy, Edmund never gets Mary. Both of them couldn’t see the real woman. Edmund will not listen and sees what he wants to exist. Gatsby sees Daisy as a representation of wealth and success not as an actual human with a past and emotions.

Both family structures, Daisy & Tom and the Bertrams, are superficially beautiful and yet inwardly rotten (with the exception of Edmund, mostly)

Nick Caraway and Fanny Price both occupy a strange liminal space where they are within and outside of higher society.

Jordan Baker and Mary Crawford both kind of watch the action from the sidelines and don’t get involved in the morality. Both lose their love interest because of how they react to the climax of the story.

Nick and Fanny both do this strange thing where at first they don’t seem to really be participants in the story, but kind of strange narrator-observers but as time go on they take more of the stage

The hollow morality of the rich, disillusionment with society

Something between Gatsby and Fanny, where they are both raised up socially (Gatsby by his wealth and Fanny by her family), but they aren’t fully there and no one treats them as a equal. They are neither rich nor poor, they don’t fit anywhere. To oppose my point above a little, Nick knows how to fit, he isn’t fully in the club because he has a job and is poor. But Gatsby makes social errors and doesn’t seem to pick up cues, because he doesn’t have the education. Fanny has only a part of the education and no wealth. Her own conciousness of how poorly she merits a place in the society she lives in. But then she doesn’t fit in Portsmouth anymore either..

So anyway, despite being very different, these books occupy the same real estate in my head because I get a similar vibe from them. Someday I want to do a sort of crossover but I’m not totally sure how. Interestingly, while I have written varations to make Mansfield Park end happily, I don’t have the same compunction with The Great Gatsby. Maybe it’s because I literally don’t know how to fix it. Obviously you could send Gatsby home on time from WWI, but would Daisy really choose him? Would they actually be happy? If anything I want to write a nice happy ending for Jordan Baker.

#f scott fitzgerald #the great gatsby #mansfield park #jane austen #fanny price #edmund bertram #jordan baker #parallel vibes #it gives me a feeling of melancholy #there are no other books that give me the same vibe #I don't know #Someone told me I was crazy once for connecting these two #So here is my rationalization #This is how my brain works

17 notes · View notes

giacofmanytrades · 2 years ago

Text

Man Me A Slime (Reprise)

Fuck it, gonna keep posting chapters from my book Obnoxious for giggles. I’m in a body horror mood and honestly enjoying knowing my work exists outside my Google Drive for its own sake.

Do you like slime? Do you like science? Do you like soap??? Consequences of a guy getting slutched below:

So here we are again, in the van with the radio at max volume and Alan’s knuckles white against the steering wheel.

His foot covers the brake. No one can know what happened tonight. Hell, Alan doesn’t even understand what happened himself. The facts he does have are these: Nick fell, and when Alan scrambled down to the factory floor to find an opening he burned his hand on the metal siding. Alan had no way to get Nick out. His best friend of twenty years had fallen into a vat of boiling hot cleaning fluid and had to be dead.

Alan couldn’t believe it. He ran back up to the catwalk, to go and see if anyone could help from the office building, when he caught a glimpse of the fluid in the vat. It had changed color. Something shifted on the fluid’s surface.

And then Nick emerged from it, and Alan froze in his tracks. His friend, alive, but floating and so covered in the stuff from the vat that Alan couldn’t see a trace of the man underneath. Nick, talking and laughing like this accident was nothing more than stubbing his toe on a chair.

The guard taking his attention was a relief, really. It got Nick from his line of sight and allowed him to make small talk with Ronny Vizzini’s father. Not that they’re more than acquaintances, but it let Alan forget what happened long enough to construct some story to deny it, scabbing the memory clean over.

Until Nick reappeared and ripped it clean off. Now he’s got to drive because Nick can’t, unsure of where to go. His first thought is home, to Cleary Street. With Mary-Anne and his nice quiet job and his nice quiet house, where his nice quiet life fits together like a puzzle. Maybe a tedious puzzle some days, but something that ultimately makes sense when he lays it all out and puts it together.

Headlights pass again. What if they get pulled over? He’ll be recognized as Mary-Anne’s husband immediately. There go any dinner plans with Sheriff Harrington and his wife for however long his sentence lasts. What charges are passed for trespassing in a soap factory and falling in a vat of toxic waste after hours?

Okay, it sounds silly when he puts it like that. He didn’t do anything wrong. But he was seen alone in the factory, by a guard he talked to who definitely knew who he was. They could be in trouble for tampering with private property. What if Nick gets fired?

He can’t think clearly with the audio bombast. “Nick, you need to turn it down,” Alan says.

The bounce of Come On Eileen quakes Nick’s toy collection on the dash. “It’s gonna be fine, Mo,” he says, and holds up his hand to the speaker. The slime on his skin wriggles with the vibrations from the music.

“Fine? We need to get you to a hospital,” Alan says. But they can’t. The nearest hospital is out in Baker City. Mary-Anne can see Nick here in town, but she’s hardly a specialist in chemical burns or mysterious anti-gravity goop. The longer Alan waits to find an answer, the worse Nick’s condition could become, though. “How are we going to fix this?”

Nick mumble-sings the next verse, then goes all out in the chorus. “I’m fine!” he says when he gets to the next part he doesn’t know. Then he goes right back to too-rye-aying.

Alan shivers. His adrenaline’s coursing like there’s a gun to his temple, except it’s Nick’s head instead of his own on the chopping block. “What if this got inside you?” he asks. “You could be burned under all this. You could be poisoned even if you feel fine now, Nick. We have to get you to Mary-Anne. You need a doctor.”

“I am a doctor.”

“In biochemistry!”

Nick shimmies to the music. “I’m gonna be fine.”

Alan turns the radio down. “You need help! We have to fix this before it gets worse.”

The radio’s turned right back up. “Just take me to my lab,” Nick says, arms crossed. It looks like they’re oozing together when Alan sees it, but he blinks his focus back onto the road.

“What are you talking about?” Alan asked. “Do you see yourself? I don’t know if an MD can help you with this. There has to be someone who knows how to get this stuff off of you safely. Maybe we should turn around. We could talk to whoever designed this. An expert.”

The too-rah-loo-rye-ays get louder, thunderous in the small cab. Whatever Nick says is lost in it and Alan turns it down.

“What did you say?”

“I said, I’m an expert! Take me to my lab and I can analyze it there. We good?”

Nick dials up the music. Alan dials it down. They tousle a second before the wheel jerks and Alan’s grabbing at it again with slippery hands.

“We are not good! This is not good. There has to be a way to get this stuff off of you.” Alan’s all for hosing Nick down if it gets his skin out from whatever this is. Just the sample alone seems to have burned him on the catwalk. What if leaving it on so long makes the damage it’s doing permanent?

“This stuff is me,” Nick says. He reaches for the volume but Alan bats at his hand again.

“Stop that! Nick, you can’t actually think this floating thing is permanent. If we don’t do something about this, you could die.”

“I already died!”

Alan stomps the brake.

Nick’s thrown forward. Yellowish fluid makes a sickening splat across the windshield and dash, the majority of it pooling into the floorboard.

Alan looks at the floorboard. He looks at the empty seat. He can’t breathe.

The goo wiggles. Nick’s yell bubbles out if it. The puddle on the floor sloughs back into the seat in a Nickish shape. His hands pat over his body, but nothing seems to be missing other than a thin layer of clear soap.

“I am okay!” he announces. Nick gives a thumbs up. It’s like watching a flattened cartoon character peel off the pavement after an anvil.

Alan twitches. Maybe there’s a laugh in him somewhere, but it’s buried deep right now. He puts the van in park. He leans back, knotting his fingers and forcing himself not to strangle his sweater vest. That’s. That’s a lot to look at.

Nick examines his hands. “Sorry, babies,” he croons to his stuffed animals, all dripping with a thin layer of slime. “D’you think we can wash this off ‘em alright?”

“You don’t mean that. What you said,” Alan says. He couldn’t have. Nick had come out of that vat laughing. Excited. Ghosts don’t bounce back from death and throw a party.

Well, Nick’s ghost might. Alan sits back.

Nick’s booped the nose on a frog. The slime on the frog absorbs back to his finger with the touch. He grins. Looking at him, really looking at him, Alan can see the details he missed. The eyes, and Nick’s mouth, and how the opaque goo he’s made of has a jello-like translucence if you look too hard.

What looked skin deep at a glance is too strange to ignore now. Nick catches him looking. He winces.

“My body fuckin’ dissolved back there. Poof. Gone, Mo.”

There’s a beat of silence. Nick collects the rest of the slime from the dashboard, then the windshield. The big splat sucks back to his hand. He’s avoiding Alan’s eyes. He’s known this whole time, and let Alan go on talking like he has. “Nick,” he says.

Nick shuts his eyes. “Shit. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way,” he cries. “I just want you to know I can’t just. Take this off. It’s not so bad, I promise! If you just wanna drop me off, I can figure it out myself.”

Alan shifts back into drive. The radio fuzzes back to life. Nick turns it off.

Alan lets out a rattled sigh. He sets his hands at ten and two. Somehow, horribly, the reality sinking in is a relief. He’s not going to stop worrying about Nick. But having even this impossible certainty is a lot better than before. He can handle what he knows.

He takes a deep breath. “So. Where’s your lab?”

***

Nick’s “lab” is easy to find. It’s an old diner off the downtown strip, abandoned as the Flour Pour factory once was. Geena’s came up in the fifties, before the weight of the A&W and other, better burger joints sank it. Alan had never been inside when the place was open, but he’s familiar with the whitewashed stone box and its neon red, yellow, and blue facade above double doors. Nick has him pull around to the back, where a door waits beside a dumpster full of old fixtures and signage.

Nick’s got to be let out of the car and into the building, not that he doesn’t make an attempt with his sudsy hands. He’s delighted to find he can flip the light switch on his own. “Sorry about the mess,” he says, floating into a small hallway. On his left is the door to a darkened kitchen, on his right the door to a bathroom. Then they’re in a spacious dining lobby. The L-counter and its rows of upholstered stools are intact, along with one of the dining booths right off the door. Grimy chrome, yellowed linoleum, and checkered tiles glint in the bright tube lights. Where one of the dining booths used to be rooted now holds a tower of boxes and a red couch.

Alan takes it in with a smile. He can see how benches could be made from the counter, where equipment can be stored if they reuse some of the old shelves he saw out back. The thought of the place restored through his tidying calms him.

Nick tests the plastic wrap still coating his couch. He flops down against it. “So what do ya think? It’s a dive, but I think it’s groovy.”

Alan shrugs. Now that he’s exhausted his ability to be physically anxious, all he can think about is what he’ll tell his wife. He takes a seat at Nick’s side, avoiding the translucent ooze now stuck to the plastic. He rubs his eye on his forearm, since there’s still some soap on his hands.

“I should call Mary-Anne,” he says. “Got a phone?”

“By the soda fountain,” Nick says.

Alan moves behind the counter. The soda machine against the wall has Coke logos on its taps. He fiddles with a Dr. Pepper tap while he dials the clinic.

“Perkins Primary Care?”

His relief almost knocks him off his feet. It’s a wave so palpable he grips the tap and steadies his feet. “Mary-Anne? Christ, you will not believe the night I’m having. I love you.”

“Al, it’s only six. Where are you? The house?”

“No, I just,” Alan says, and squeezes his eyes shut. That opener hardly inspired confidence and calm. “I’m just not going to be home tonight. I’m staying over at Nick’s.”

“Yeah, he dropped by. Is everything okay? I told him you needed a night out, but if you two got into anything too-”

“No. Mary-Anne, we’re fine. Everything’s fine.”

“You only say that when things aren’t fine, Al.”

“I do not!” Alan cries. Nick flinches. “I’m with him right now. He’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I’ll be home in the morning but he,” he says, and falters. Telling her Nick died is the exact opposite of fine. “He just needs me right now.”

She yawns. “Do whatever you got to, sweetheart. Just be careful, whatever you’re doing. I better not catch either of you in here on a gurney.”

Alan smiles, despite everything. “I’m fine. That part’s true.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow.”

“See you. I love you.”

Her chuckle’s like an oasis. “You said that already. Love you, too.”

Alan hesitates putting the receiver down. He just stands there with the phone beeping in both hands. He presses the speaker to his forehead with his eyes closed. Mary-Anne at the nurse’s station, bedecked in solid print scrubs and slouching while Rhoda does up the last of the paperwork so they can all go home. Only getting one real rest every few hours and having to spend it on him.

“Is everything, uh, okay?”

“Eh.”

“Eh?”

“Eh,” Alan says, with emphasis, and presses the phone until it makes a dotted mark on his brow. His mouth twists before he puts the receiver back up. The silence left behind is deafening, widening the distance between the two men trapped inside it.

“I love you, Mo.” Small and quiet.

“Nick.”

“I do. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I am so sorry this happened.”

“Nick, it’s okay. It’s just going to be hard to explain this. I don’t know what we’re going to do. But I’m not leaving you. Okay?”

“You don’t have to stay.” Nick’s curled up into himself on the couch. “You got me home. I can do the rest from here.”

Alan smirks. “Huh. Might end up with biased results, studying yourself all alone. You can’t drive, Nick. I’m going to stay and help you.”

Nick’s dripping shape sharpens up and glows bright orange like when he’d come out of the vat. Seems to be his happy color. “Can’t argue there. What do you want to do?” Nick asks.

Alan yawns. He’s got no energy for unloading the van or unpacking Nick’s boxes, as much as he wants to organize their resources. His head still spins like he’s the one dissolving, or maybe like his body’s still there but he’s stepped out to the side for a second.

Finally, he comes back to his senses. “It’s your lab,” he says. “Do you need anything? Are you…” He glances at the hand-off window looking into the kitchen. “Hungry?” Oh god, what if he is? Alan doesn’t even know where he would begin with that.

Nick brightens. His slime does a little dance across his body, flushing orange again. “I don’t know yet! Maybe I don’t have to eat anymore. I mean, I don’t exactly have the plumbing for it.” He opens his mouth and points inside. “See in there?” he says, even as his mouth doesn’t move. The sound just radiates out of him, like a speaker. “No hole! Nowhere for food to go!”

Alan sees what he means. He takes a deep breath as he stares. “Right.”

“My eyes don’t look like my old eyes, either. But I still need glasses for some reason? How’s that even work? I don’t got retinas to be myopic.”

“I don’t know,” Alan says. “Who says you don’t? There looks like two layers of this stuff. Soap’s not supposed to separate like this does, so why do you?”

“I don’t know!” Nick says. “Huh. If there’s two layers, they’re gonna need different names. We need names for this.”

“Yeah.” It’s going to get confusing if they don’t develop a taxonomy. Alan’s brain would also love to stop snagging like a belt loop on a fence when he calls these materials Nick. Naming all this strangeness makes it less strange, or he can hope it might.

“Can we do that?” Nick asks, squishing his fingers into his belly. His fingers go through the translucent layer into the next, absorbing into his inner one. Alan’s mouth tests out a number of responses to this, but none of them quite capture how he feels beyond another ‘eh’.

“It’s your you,” he decides, voice chipping instead of fully cracking. “You name yourself.”

“True!” Nick says, and pulls his hands from his own guts without trouble. The holes from his fingers fill in. “I think I’m goo- the me stuff that moves and talks- and then this drippy stuff on the outside is gunk. Not sure what it’s for just yet. Oh, and my eyes are my eyes.”

Alan leans against the counter. “And your glasses are your glasses.”

“That, too! Those are in one of my boxes.” Nick floats to the stack for his backup pair. Alan rips open the one he indicates. Among what looks like the contents of an old desk is a pair of glasses with a cracked lens.

Nick places them on what’s left of his nose. He blinks. “Whoa.”

“Same prescription?” Alan asks. “Maybe the vat copied human you, and that’s why these eyes are like your old ones.” There’s a sentence Alan never thought he’d say.

“Maybe! If it copied my eyes, I dunno what made it copy those and not everything else, though.”

“What do you mean?”

Nick waves sharply downward with both hands, mouth in the closest thing to a frown that Alan’s seen from him all day. Alan’s ready to go into one subject, before Nick narrows his brows and pulls his feet up, sitting in midair. “I don’t got toes, Mo,” he says.

“Yes.”

“And I’m smooth as a Ken doll now. So we’ve got that. But, come on, I got fingers but my other digits didn’t get copied? What was that vat thinking? I’m gonna look like I’m wearing socks forever now.”

Alan takes stock as Nick mourns the loss of his toes. Aside from the obvious missing parts- skin, bones, teeth, organs, and most other human components- Nick looks the same in build and proportion. It’s like the goo was poured into a Nick-shaped mold and he popped right out, unless he melts to a puddle like he did in the van.

Which he agrees not to do again, for Alan’s sanity. Nick says splatting on impact doesn’t hurt, but Alan isn’t spiritually prepared to see his friend as a stain tonight. Tomorrow, maybe. It’s not like they can’t learn a lot from Nick just floating from room to room. There’s technically four, including the storage room in the kitchen. Said kitchen contains a stovetop, several dishes including a stockpot, a fridge, and a three compartment sink. The fryer’s ripped from the wall, but the prep tables and other fixtures are in good repair.

Exploring the storage room is where Alan has to draw the line on melting. The room is locked, and before Alan can get Nick’s keys from the dining room, Nick’s already on the floor like a spill and creeping under the door itself. Alan rattles the handle. Then he hears behind the door, “I’m good! Not much to see in here! Just junk.”

Alan yelps. He’s about to run for the keys, but he hears a sizzle.

Under the knob fizzes. Orange fingers push through the metal like wet clay. Then the whole hand makes it through, giving Alan a cheery wave.

“Check it out! I’m corrosive! That’s cool.”

The door falls open. Nick’s on the other side, grinning at his fingers.

“I don’t think you should make a habit of that,” Alan says.

“Wonder what else I can corrode.”

“Nick, no.”

“What’s my pH then?” Nick asks, smearing his hand down his belly. How his glasses aren’t fizzling is a mystery, too. “Probably super basic, knowing detergents, but most detergents don’t do that kinda corrosion. What if it’s selective?”

“Who knows?” Alan says.

The storage room is stacked with trash and boxes of offal. Not much of it is usable, but Alan thanks his lucky stars none of it’s perished food. At least they know they have the dumpster out back to get rid of it.

They go from the storage room to check out the bathroom. Alan washes up, then they try to rinse the gunk from Nick’s goo so they can get a sample. They’ve already collected some gunk in a tupperware for study, but getting underneath Nick’s outer layer proved tough. Nick sticks his hand under the tap to test it out.

It burns him at the touch, even if it’s set to ice cold. “Turn it off, turn it off!” he cries. He fumbles at the knob before Alan shuts the water off. Can’t help but wonder why he didn’t pull his hand out the moment he was burned, but Alan shivers at his idea of hosing the goo off him earlier.

“I don’t think water likes me anymore,” Nick mumbles, eying his fingers slowly reforming from the goo pooled in the sink.

Alan drags him from the bathroom from then on. Nick avoids the sinks like the plague, which the bathroom’s might have if it’s been abandoned this long. There’s not much mold to be found in the building, but it’s still been at least a decade since it was in regular use. Begs the question of if the goo can contract illness, but because Alan definitely can he makes a note to scour it later.

It’s two in the morning when they finally throw in the towel. Alan pulls off the plastic wrap and crashes on the couch with a Hudson Bay blanket, Nick on the floor with his mattress from his van. It’s oddly cozy in the quiet of the diner. Headlights flicker through the windows overlooking the street, still painted over from the original closure. It’s not the worst place to wait out this weirdness.

#been thinking about this book after wendell and wild got me into X Ray Spex #germ free adolescent fucks actually #obnoxious #the book itself got wrote pre-pandemic and should get an edit phase down but hey listen #i've got cottonwood on the brain lately so one book at a time eh #body horror #transformation #uhhhhhh slime? man???#why are there only slime girls and no slime bears :pensive_goo:

3 notes · View notes