#niche interests excuse me

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.

[incorrect-koh-posts]

Why is Anthony Andrews in the 1982 adaptation of Ivanhoe giving Baldwin IV, though???

[hauntingofhouses]

lmaoooo at the fact that i have like 4 metas on BES sitting in my drafts rn (including an answer to an ask)

[harrowscore]

i think i finally found a semi-famous (?) blog that blocked me lmao

[57sfinest]

@natykii no no you have to understand that there are jean likers and there are jean enjoyers. these are 2 separate factions of people who are fascinated by mr. satellite officer vicquemare. the jeanlikers log on to actually defend him and minimize his shittiness and turn him into a victim and that just isn't it that isn't honoring the intention behind his inclusion in the game. i am a jean ENJOYER which means i enjoy him for his role in the story, namely being the most shitty pathetic ableist hypocritical wet rag dumbfuck i've probably ever seen. and you'll never find someone who hates jean more than a jean enjoyer

when za/um releases disco elysium 2 i hope jean dies in it and i hope it's not even a big deal. i hope it's in a throwaway line about a drive by shooting or something and he's literally never even mentioned again

[skinnypaleangryperson]

They're already talking about certain Rick Fans being "too weird" in the discord that I just joined, not a fan of that kind of energy and I have no doubt in my mind that I'm probably one of them since I seem to be incapable of friendship, connection or a community these days and have been for years.

[pomefioredove]

anyway I'm only thinking about this because I really like different origin explanations for yuu

(not as a theory, more like a "wouldn't this be cool?" thing)

canon yuu as we know them is our symbolic alice, right? the game is called twisted wonderland, the first dorm they deal with is heartslabyul, and similarly to alice in the disney movie and original book, they're a small, effeminate person lost in a world they don't understand, where they're in constant danger and never taken seriously

but I also really like the idea of villain!yuu

for this concept to work, though, it couldn't be a Disney villain whose already in TWST. no Frollo, no Maleficent, none of that. but it also has to be a villain who's different from the others. Yuu is our main character, after all, and it would be strange to have them be a run-of-the-mill villain, like... say, Captain Hook. it just wouldn't make sense

so they would have to be a villain that's quite different from the others, and they would have to be a villain who isn't well known in Twisted Wonderland. so, no "Righteous Judge" or "Great Seven" equivalent

they would have to have been forgotten. abandoned by history

now, we know that the Great Seven are remembered as heroes, but even minor characters have their folk tales and admirers, so being a niche villain isn't a good enough excuse. this villain would have to have been bad. worse than Frollo, worse than the Evil Queen, worse than Maleficent. someone so terrible that there were no survivors left to write them as a hero. someone so terrible that other mages had to cover them up

(I read a pretty neat theory about there having been an eighth member of the great seven who was eventually written over, which I'll link¹ later since I found it AS I was writing this, and the op and I had the same idea!)

but the theory essentially states that NRC originally had eight dorms, with Ramshackle being the forgotten dorm

in TWST canon, Ramshackle is based on the Mickey Mouse cartoons of the 30s (Lonesome Ghosts in particular) but it wouldn't be unrealistic to say that, if it had been an eighth dorm that was abandoned, especially if it was a very old one, it would have gone through centuries of renovations, just to fall out of use around the Victorian-equivalent era

then there's Yuu

and there are the questions: if they were a twisted villain, why do they have no magic? where did they come from? why are they here? and how do they have their memories, if they're from Twisted Wonderland?

I'll do one at a time:

!. The Question of Memory

canon Yuu is really interesting because they're so... well... Yuu. they're implied to have many talents, perhaps more than a normal person should have at their supposed age, they're strong, smart, and "less innocent than they seem", as Malleus said

but if Yuu was from Twisted Wonderland, then why do they have memories of home?

well... what if they were lying?

bear with me. now, maybe they could remember their past, and are withholding it, or (and this makes more sense to me), they don't remember their past and are pretending they do. why? because they have snippets of memory of who they once were, and they don't want anyone else to see them as that person. for any number of reasons

they could also just be confused and lost and trying to piece together their past, and is hoping that Crowley being able to send them back "home" will restore their full memory

okay, but what if "home" doesn't exist as they remember it?

Yuu is known to have "visions" of the past/future (which I will come back to), and it's likely that the only thing they remember about their "home" is the visions they have of it. the "home" they see is a place that no longer exists. and, as it was once ruled by a villain so evil that the world did everything they could to cover it up, there's no mention of it in history books. that's why Crowley can't find their home on a map or in a book

2. The Question of Magic

Yuu is canonically magicless. or so we're told

the Dark Mirror basically says that they have "nothing" in their soul. they can't cast spells or wield a magic pen

but they also have visions of the past, can connect with other realms, and aren't fucking dead, even after being hurt so many times, which, to me, can be explained by magic

Yuu has magic. they just can't use it

something could be blocking their magic pool, or they could have just forgotten how to use it (via the memory loss), or their magic manifests in other ways

I do really want to talk about Yuu's strength, though. I've had discussions about this before, because Yuu, despite being called small/weak by the other characters, is ridiculously powerful

here's the big thing: they don't die

six overblots, the prologue in the mine, book 6, glomas, playful land, the many in-school fights, the hypothermic conditions at Ramshackle, and Yuu is still healthy and alive

hell, they've probably been poisoned at least once. being friends with Kalim, Vil's overblot, and Lilia's cooking are all strong contenders

and they are. STILL. ALIVE!

maybe their magic isn't casting fireball. maybe it's something deeper. darker. maybe Yuu can't die

because Yuu is already dead.

3. How?

how Yuu even ended up in Twisted Wonderland is (supposedly) a mystery. at least, I don't think it's been explained yet...?

I'm gonna say it's not. for the sake of my essay

they don't know how they got here, and supposedly have no memory of the moments leading up to their arrival. where did they come from? why are they here? and how?

what if, bear with me, Yuu was dead. Yuu was dead, and something brought them back

the "world" they came from, the reason why their memories are so cloudy and vague, was actually the underworld

now Yuu is this undead thing, who was once an incredibly powerful mage, but whose magic is now being entirely used to keep them breathing and walking. so they can't be casting lightning bolt

(it would also be cool if Yuu had overblotted in a past life and that's what killed them but that's not a part of this essay)

being undead would explain how nothing kills them, why they can't properly wield magic (it's more like magic is wielding them, tbh), and why the Dark Mirror thought they had no soul

HOW they were brought back to the mortal world, I can't decide. there's so many good options- Crowley did some very illegal necromancy shit, Grim accidentally triggered something at NRC, or perhaps Yuu in their state of decay, used all their remaining magic to revive themselves, sacrificing their magic pool and their memories in the process. the latter being my favorite. Yuu necromancer

4. ...And Consequence

as we all know, shit gets weird at NRC after Yuu enrolls. I've seen a lot of REALLY fun theories about why this is, here's mine:

Yuu, being the absolute power source that they are, being associated with death and disaster and necromancy, is indirectly causing the blots by leaking so much fucking magic into their environment that it's making the more powerful mages like 10x more likely to overblot

that's it. they just attract death and destruction to them

5. Final Remarks

there are other little things I think would make this make sense. why aren't they afraid of Malleus (or, like anything)? because they're worse. much worse. and even though they can't remember everything, they know that

but the name! Yuu! that's not connected to any villains!

BUT IT IS, because "Yuu" is not their real name. it's supposed to sound like "you" because they made it up on the spot. it's almost as if... names are a source of weakness to powerful mages... and they're withholding theirs because they remember that

Grim could either be some rando Twisted Wonderland thing or he could be the source of their visions. I haven't quite decided yet

Malleus once says that Yuu is "not as innocent as they seem", which would make me wonder if he knows something the others don't. or if Lilia does. or even Silver. Briar Valley is medieval in many ways, and if anyone would keep record of a villain so evil and powerful that the rest of history buried them entirely, it would be Briar Valley

if Yuu did have an overblot, it would be bad. Idia Shroud bad. Malleus Draconia bad. worse, even, if Yuu is an experienced necromancer and can induce (and possibly manipulate) blot

6. The End

let me TLDR this: this Yuu is not "Yuu", but an ancient and powerful mage who necromancied themself back to life and ended up at NRC with a clouded memory of their past life. the ~figure~ they're based on was so horrible and destructive that they were intentionally forgotten, written over by the few survivors of their evil. this figure being so ancient that they are older than Briar Valley, so ancient that Yuu has visions of a "home" that hasn't existed in thousands of years

Yuu has a strong association with death and undeath, a means into seeing the past, present and future, and into connecting with other worlds. their home, their history, their ruler was forgotten, written over because it was so bad it couldn't be associated with anything but death and destruction

basically, what if Yuu wasn't Alice.

what if Yuu was The Horned King?

1 https://www.tumblr.com/valy-gc/746674187452792832?source=share

[auckie]

I think the things that offend me most nowadays in like, smaller interpersonal interactions rather than grand, sweeping trends in culture, are when people chose to not partake in a wide set of things. Like musical close mindedness, or refusal to try different foods from different cultures. Not watching an entire subset of films bc they’re ‘french’. Avoiding reading bc you say you have adhd and it’s too hard. Like dude I get it, I’m busy. I can be picky. Everyone can. But the willful ignorance of closing yourself off to those VAST portions of the human experience, and not having curiosity and a lust to learn and explore art that was made by someone worlds apart from you either in terms of their culture, era, whatever. I dunno man it just pisses me off so bad. I think it’s arrogant. Like oh you’re comfortable in your safe little bubble huh? And you’re enforcing its barriers with the excuse that you’re autistic and have sensory issues. With music made by black people?? lol okay. It is pretty presumptuous for me to assume malicious intent but I think those prejudices are borne from either the comfort of being someone who’s wealthy and probably white not feeling the need to learn past what they think is enough, or it’s a reflection of a society that’s taught you to prioritize what it shills— popular, current (white, depending where you live ig) artists who are making streamlined, easy to digest content. Often when I meet people with these issues they’ll have one particular ‘niche’, and it tends to be like. 70s music. Victorian literature. Anime and Japanese games. But they’re still not really investing beyond the media presented. Like there’s so much more to Japanese culture than liking some cartoons put out between 2010-2020. You don’t gotta become some sorta Einstein who learns the background of every little freak in FGO yeah. But don’t you wanna aim higher? Aren’t you interested in any of the historical figures? And nothings wrong with hopping onto a trend. You read Dracula bc of that Dracula daily thing. Cool! Read more. Some people will say they’re chronically ill or disabled and can’t get outside. That’s okay. The internet is full of things you can read other than fanfiction, YouTube has a shit ton of free music. There’s Wikipedia and free articles online if you have questions about things. Yeah nobody is spending four hours a day looking at the national archives website and studying art history but it’s imbued in the things around you, and youll absorb it ambiently as you go along. you dont have to be a jack of all trades and cover every major genre of every major medium, but it never hurts to try! I really love seeing ppl ask too. Bc it can be kind of humiliating to admit to what seems like some jackass hipster that you’ve never delved into, idk, Serbian films (lol not that one). And hopefully if whoever you’re asking will give you honest good recommendations and not berate you. I’m kind of berate a straw man rn I guess. The hostile tone def doesn’t lend to an atmosphere of sharing but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve rbed anything involving specifically jazz only to see someone rb and add the stupidest comment on the post, or in the tags, or go into my inbox to be like waaah I don’t like jazz bc it’s boring and old and for pretentious hypocrites who hate neurodivergent people! Like what are you TALKING about. Fine if you don’t like it but don’t try and rationalize that as a moral standing you shit lark. And just as they’re allowed to dislike jazz I’m allowed to not really enjoy people who don’t like jazz. Or country. Nautical knots. Knit wear. Watching urbex YouTubers get their shit rocked by squatters. Korean food. Pachuco fashion and stupid ugly low riders. Bollywood films. and they don’t want to try any of those things either yknow? The next thing I’m getting into is circuit bending.

[trashpidgeon48]

Also, I like to imagine something going wrong during the final scene during their duet before Annie lovett gets killed. Can't think of anything super good except for maybe annie actually getting set on fire or something. Or Chris gets knocked out??? Idk. Maybe then Lucy takes over as Sweeney and performs the ending by herself but then we get into we are the ensemble territory. I have too many thoughts. Also, the A little priest verses get so fucked up.

okay people here’s a proposition for you that i’ve been thinking about nonstop lately

CORNLEY DOES SWEENEY TODD

if this has been done before i apologize, but i haven’t seen it so i figured i’d compile my thoughts!

i know it’s sondheim. i know they’re not necessarily the most musically inclined (cough cough nativity cough cough) would chris do it anyway? absolutely he would. would it go horribly wrong? obviously.

i’m gonna put the bulk of the text under the cut so i don’t ruin people’s scrolling but if you’re interested i’ve got a LOT written down!

okay initial casting:

- CHRIS is SWEENEY. i think people would roll their eyes at that but he would SO enjoy the drama of it all. he seems a bit too posh for the role but i think with the right stage makeup and a month or so without a haircut he could pull it off. he loves a good descent into madness and wants to try being all broody. his voice isn’t QUITE low enough for it though so they have to pitch up most of the songs a step or two. it’s a pain.

- ANNIE is MRS. LOVETT. i think this casting is absolutely perfect tbh, she would be SO GOOD at the manic, over the top energy and i think she’d love to go a little feral. character voice!! wild physicality!! annie is perfect!! and just imagine the VOCALS. this would probably be the best performance in the show. props to her <3

- SANDRA is JOHANNA. yeah, basic, but it works. obviously sandra can do the whole damsel thing pretty well, but she could probably beg great the bit of madness that johanna falls into in the second act as well! easy casting.

- just as easily, MAX is clearly ANTHONY. sweet, naive boy who’s desperately in love. no deliberation necessary. he’s pure and perfect and definitely plays up the innocence.

- ROBERT is JUDGE TURPIN. i think he can definitely be menacing enough, and would totally enjoy playing opposite chris in this role because he can mess with him a lot.

- DENNIS is the BEADLE. love putting him in a duo with robert, but also i think

- LUCY is TOBY!!! we got a hint of lucy as little orphan boy in christmas carol and i think she’d do a really good job with this role! it’s the biggest one she’s had with cornley so far and i’m sure she’d be nervous but the audience would ADORE her.

- VANESSA is the BEGGAR WOMAN/LUCY BARKER. this casting has the possibility of either a ridiculously good performance or a VERY awkward one. she’d probably feel very self-conscious about being so unhinged and wild, but hopefully she’d get into more as the show progresses.

- JONATHAN is PIRELLI and JONAS FOGG. i want to see greg tannahill with a silly italian accent and then a silly irish accent. that’s all. also he’d kill it.

- TREVOR is doing all of his wonderful tech stuff and also stands in as a bunch of the people that sweeney kills! and also some other stuff lmao

running bits:

- lots of mishaps with the blood. nothing working the way it’s supposed to. many necks begin spraying blood at the completely wrong times (very much like chris’s unfortunate gunshot bit in harper’s locket). they brush it off as some sort of plague that’s been affecting the whole of london. chris is stained all over with red as early as “worst pies”

- they actually try to make sweeney’s chair-chute work in real time, dropping actors (mainly trevor) directly from the barbershop on the second level into the “basement” of the shop, and it goes pretty badly. almost every time they use it trevor almost gets stuck, and he gets out somehow (occasionally with some smoke or crashes ptgw-elevator style yk yk)

- whenever vanessa as the beggar woman calls out for the beadle, dennis comes on stage, and they keep having to shoo him off

- one member of the ensemble is consistently off tempo by one or two beats, either vocally or with the dance. the music is supposed to feel discordant but this just feels wrong lmao

- there are a lot of delays. sondheim always requires cues to be TIGHT and PRECISE and cornley is consistently off the mark on that. i will elaborate below.

scene by scene:

- opening is decent but chris gets stuck on his entrance or something and so the strings just sorta go for a while and they wait and wait and wait for him to pop out and then he finally does

- at one point during worst pies, something falls off of annie’s costume (a fake eyelash or something) and into the pie she needs to give chris. he sees this. they both panic for a second but the song is so fast that they can’t really take it out

- they get to “if you doubt it take a bite” and just pause and stare at each other in fear and chris slowwwwwly eats it

- the ensuing disgust is genuine

- during “poor thing”, the flashback of his wife is supposed to be recorded and projected on the back of the stage. as it goes with cornley and projectors, something else is shown, ala dennis’s birthday in ccgw, and annie just continues to sing over it

- it’s nothing too horrible, just embarrassing

- maybe somehow the events in the video follow along with the lyrics in an ironic way? i don’t have a specific idea for this yet so lmk if you think of one

- when chris throws his arm up with the razor at the end of “my friends”, the blade goes flying into the audience. screams are heard. they proceed as normal.

- there’s GOTTA be something with the birds after “ah miss”, i don’t have ideas but im sure someone will

- pirelli’s miracle elixir is wild. lucy is doing great but BOTH of her wigs come off with the hat when she has her big reveal, and ends up doing the song about her pin-curled real hair and everyone just goes along with it

- ahhh, classic jonathan moment. during pirelli’s, there’s a little facade with a door that jonathan is supposed to burst out of at the end for the big button. of course, it doesn’t work. he can’t get the door open, everyone waits in silence and watches the knob jiggle. he walks around the side and they all gasp again and carry on

- “ladies and their sensitivities” starts out well but then robert starts singing over the top to be heard, and sandra fights back, and by the end everyone is screaming

- robert is a total pain during pretty women etc

- max gets held up during pretty women somehow and doesn’t burst in when he’s supposed to, chris is waiting to kill turpin but without max’s cue we have a lodge-style “ohhhh im gonna do it” kinda thing and they end up whistling more back and forth until max arrives

- for some reason they make annie run all the way up and down the stairs each time she gets interrupted in “god that’s good.” her frustration with sweeney and her total exhaustion is not false.

- of course, there has to be a moment where vanessa is forced to improvise. i’d go with one of her little crazy lullabies being dragged out because the music cuts off (during the end of city on fire, maybe?) and she has to come up with more wild babble and it’s so uncomfortable for everyone lmao

- during “by the sea,” they try to have a silly little dream sequence of the beach with puppets of seagulls and fish. i’ll let you use your imagination there.

- similar to pretty women, robert keeps adding to the ending scene so chris can’t kill him. something like:

- “the face of a barber, the face of a prisoner isn’t memorable” or whatever the line is

- “it really isn’t. who are you?”

- long, frustrated chris bean pause. “…surely you know me, sir.”

- “not at all.”

- “benjamin barker?”

- “you certainly look like a barker. shave your own face for once, dog.”

- “robert—“

- “is that your name? i’ve never met a robert, sir.”

- and so on and so forth until chris just walks over and does the throat slit without the cue

- when vanessa is supposed to go down the chute at the end as lucy’s body, she gets stuck and annie pulls trevor out in a bad wig as a stand-in body for chris to weep over. robert is supposed to fall out of the chute still in the process of dying, but he gets stuck behind vanessa and just makes agonized noises from inside the chute. it makes for a very strange image. he continues to make these noises throughout the scene after he’s supposed to be fully dead, and it undercuts the drama quite a bit.

- i’m sure there’s more but i’m too excited to share this so i’m gonna cut myself off there, please reblog with any of your own thoughts!

[rafesbunny]

shy - r.c 🎀 pt.2!!!

where rafe meets shy r at her dads business party

despite your best efforts to leave rafe by making up excuses like, “i’m pretty tired, gonna go to bed,” or “think i heard my mom call me for me” and even, “i should probably go see if my dog needs more water” you were still stuck with him. the party had gone on longer than you expected and you had now ended up on one of your balcony’s sitting on a sofa with rafe as he nursed a beer, and you a glass of vodka and cranberry. you were nothing short of grateful for the drink in your hand as the boy bombarded you with a handful of questions. he claimed he wanted to “get to know you better” which was understandable as no one really knew you. he started off with simple questions like, “what do you get up to” and feeling more confident from the drinks you’ve had you started to ramble on about your niche interests, but quickly you became embarrassed of your rant and looked away and muttered, “sorry” rafe half heartedly laughed, “hey, what did i tell you earlier, huh?” which promptly stopped your apologies.

however as the night progressed, and rafe got more cocky, his questions became more personal. he asked, “have you ever slept with anyone before?” he knew the answer of corse. you were untouchable, one, because all the boys knew they’d never get your fathers approval, and two, because it was almost like you didn’t exist in kildare. no one ever saw you at parties or outside of school, no one had ever even gotten the chance to hold hands with you. the shock from the question sobered you up quickly, and you quickly adopted back that demure demeanour as you stuttered out, “oh- well… i’ve- basically-” unsure on how to admit your a virgin, you knew it wasn’t a bad thing but it was painfully embarrassing to admit to rafe. someone you knew had got around. you heard the stories from the other girls in the hallways. though rafe didn’t seem to care, instead he gently put his arm on you shoulder and gave you a reassuring smile, “it’s okay if you haven’t” he said cutting you off. you held eye contact for a while, before you got up, “i really should be going, my dads probably worried where i am” which was stupid, you were at a party and your house. in all honesty, you were too flustered to be around rafe and needed to leave. but once again, preventing you from leaving, rafe grabbed your wrist and pulled you back down, “relax, he knows i’m with you, he trusts me. ‘m sorry if i made you uncomfortable” he told you. as you got more comfortable in your seat, you whispered, “ s’okay”.

as much as you hate to admit it, your night with rafe was pretty enjoyable, when he wasn’t being a cocky jerk, he could be funny and sweet. a good friend. but as it got later, the temperature started to drop, and the little dress you were wearing wasn’t doing much to keep you warm. you tried to suck it up and get on with it, but you let out a little shiver that rafe noticed, “you cold?” he asked in a caring manor. not wanting to cause a fuss you told him you were fine. but he didn’t buy it and took off his heavy, expensive black blazer and draped it on your shoulders. deciding to act on the moment he moved to sit even closer to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, bringing you into his warm body and gently rubbed the side of your arm. you sat like that for a few moments in silence, unsure on what to do next, and almost as if your body had a mind of its own it snuggled closer to rafes side. holding you tighter, he was the first to break the silence, “you okay now?” his tone was gentle and his voice sounded like pure honey. however, you were unable to answer, because just as quickly as the moment started, it was over. broken up by the sound of ward calling for rafe. “shit, gotta go home” rafe said as he stood up and made his way to the door but not before stopping, “i’ll see you around, yeah?” heart still pounded you were unable to speak, offering him a light nod and doe eyes before he disappeared, leaving you still wrapped up in his blazer.

part 3??? i hope you are enjoying this so far 💓💓💓

[patricia-taxxon]

I want to address what’s being said about me regarding my behavior as a teenager, because some of it is true. However, more of it is greatly distorted, and some of it is false. I won’t be reproducing the video that was made about me, the creator has acknowledged the misinformation present in it & has unlisted it, willingly ceding ground for me to give my own testimony. Some of it will require me to admit to things I am still ashamed of, some of it will require me to revisit a traumatic time in my life that I have mostly blocked out. The short version is that I believe I was being groomed at the same time and in the same place as many of the people who came out against me, and my ultimate goal is to find solidarity with those people and begin the healing process. 

When I was 18, and just beginning to accrue an audience, I created a discord server. For a lot of external reasons, mainly spending my entire life up until this point being shuttled around different special ed schools, this ended up being the first real social circle I ever had. It represented the first positive attention I ever received from strangers. It’s a time where I made a lot of mistakes, it’s a time where I was gravely vulnerable. In all honesty, I was too young to manage a community of any kind, I was hot off the back of being desensitized in my adolescence by unrestricted access to early 2010s internet. I knew well enough to create special NSFW rooms, and was advised later to create further division by requiring users to self-apply for a special NSFW role to access those rooms This extra layer meant that the rooms wouldn’t even show up for people who didn’t have the role, which led to some believing they didn’t exist. 

However, I did not intuitively understand the “meaning” of sexual content, I didn’t understand the baggage that came with it. I used cropped fetish porn as emotes and indiscriminately showed the source to anyone who asked, sometimes outside of the NSFW rooms, because I found niche fetishes to be amusing, and since it was “funny” and not “sexy” it didn’t have to mean anything. The worst consequence of this happened when I was first formulating the ideas for my video about youtuber Rags, and I discovered that his youtube avatar was cropped from a NSFW image he had commissioned of his feral dog fursona. I sent this image to just about anyone who seemed interested, and this included a then 13 year old. I’m going to apologize just like I did when this first came out, but I will not be pressured as I was then into assuming predatory intent in myself. I’m not making excuses when I say that I had been a legal adult for under a year and thought of it as just an interaction between two teenagers, a kind of interaction I had with many of my friends (and some adults) before I turned 18. It was a misunderstanding, *and* I hurt you, and I’m deeply deeply sorry. 

There were some moderators besides myself, two were teenagers around my age, early adopters of the server who I felt I’d become friends with. One was a woman in her late twenties, who I won’t name simply because I’m not in the business of offloading my misery onto other people, but she knows who she is. She contacted me with a shower of attention & adoration, she left positive reviews for my albums when she noticed I was upset at their critical reception, she oversaw me as I posted my nudes in that server and later on my main twitter account. She encouraged this behavior in myself and others and participated in it too.

I want to make this clear, the bulk of the allegations against me boil down to punishing me for failing to surmise I was being exploited by the first social group I ever had. I jerked off in voice chats. I remember the day I started, I was surrounded by people older than me who were encouraging me to post my first nude pic in the self-nsfw channel, and I had to get hard for them first. I then considered this normal and did it often. At one point a 15 year old entered the room while I was doing it, and I went quiet until she left. I reconvened with this 15 year old recently, and she told me she only remembers being promptly told to leave. The claim that I “regularly jerked off in voice chat with minors” as if it were an orchestrated and habitual activity is an outright falsehood.  

I remember posting my nudes on twitter in a fevered haze of dissociation and dysphoria after being goaded by other users in my discord server. I remember doing it again and again, so that it could maybe eventually feel normal. I was 18, going on 19. I had twenty to thirty thousand subscribers, I was hot off the heels of being given 150 bucks for making thirty minutes of music for a much bigger youtuber. There are others who were in that server who were similarly exploited, and I am not here to contradict those testimonies, but I was uniquely denied the ability to understand what had happened to me as grooming, because I was technically of age and I had the very beginnings of a youtube audience. However, 20k subs didn’t give me more power than someone over ten years my senior. 

I was groomed, and just as I was beginning to understand what happened to me, the shame threatening to overtake me completely, I was slapped with the supposed news that I was the sole perpetrator of the entire situation that traumatized me so, that what I thought of as my first friend group all remembered me as a loathsome creep. The apology I wrote in abject panic was dissected and used as a cudgel against me in police-interrogation fashion, so I became afraid to say anything. A year and a half later, I made a post saying that I had been “groomed by a portion of my audience” and this immediately provoked a youtube video callout. I feel as if I have been beaten into silence and complicity, unable to form thoughts of my own regarding my experience. I am terrified, right now, writing this story that I firmly believe no one on earth will buy, because I have come to routinely doubt my own testimony.

Some accusations being made of me are so foreign that I have trouble piecing together what it could be referring to. I commissioned a NSFW size difference piece from dramamine, one where my lover is 11 feet tall, and I was pre transition at the time so I wanted a flat chest to help me feel feminine in my current body. It was wrongly tagged as “cub” (furry child porn) on E621, which I vocally protested at the time. This is the only thing I could point to as evidence for the claim that I commissioned cub porn of myself. I do not know how to convey the feeling of being flooded by accusations that require me to ponder what it could even be referring to, or to see my accuser insist that she’s receiving dozens of new horrible scoops on me without being able to see exactly what it is or what happened. I’m open to apologizing personally to anyone I ended up hurting in my adolescence who reaches out to me, I was a victim of grooming let off into a public space with a few thousand followers after all, but I’m not apologizing on behalf of people who might have heard something bad about me.

I am going to restate, my accuser has *of her own volition* unlisted the offending video & understands the misinformation she spread, there is nothing to gain from seeking her out and letting her know your opinion on the situation. I waited until this agreement was reached to make any statement at all for this exact reason. 

I am staying offline for about a day after posting this, I am under a lot of pressure, I am very tired.

[gabessquishytum]

The ask about alpha Dream dicking alpha Hob so good he not only becomes an omega but gets pregnant has not left my brain. Like, at all.

Add to that my love for beefcake omegas and we get Dream suffering because Hob's already glorious chest is even more glorious now that he's in the late stage of pregnancy, but he cannot do anything about it because Hob keeps complaining about how sensitive his chest is :(

Hob meanwhile is googling how many hints can you drop about wanting your alpha to play with your tits until you just have to outright tell him without making it weird because your relationship is new and not exactly clear.

Or less googling and more like starting a reddit thread because this is a niche issue but he needs advice damn it.

- 🍃

Deeply obsessed with this actually!!!!

I can imagine that the reddit thread goes a little like this.

morpheusalpha: I (35M, alpha) accidentally bitched someone and now he (33M, omega) is pregnant. At first we weren't together, but we have decided to pursue a relationship and we are very happy together. However, he is now reaching the late stages of pregnancy and I have become unreasonably obsessed by his breasts. He is now very well endowed and generally very uncomfortable (due to soreness) and I do not want to make him feel worse. How should I approach this issue?

----------weirddreammer: bro how do you accidentally bitch someone wtf

----------yourfavouritelibrarian: hello! i would recommend asking your omega partner how best you can help him. he may be very glad to have your attention on this newly developing part of his body! good luck to you both!

-----------newomega1389: omg I'm in the exact opposite situation to you!! I recently became an omega via bitching (best thing that ever happened to me btw) and I'm currently pregnant!! Tbh I wish my alpha would be interested in my tits, I'm a little shy about them but I really want him to touch and I'm super horny but I don't want to scare him off haha. Hopefully we both find a resolution!!

It takes them an unreasonably long time to work out that they're talking to each other on the same damn reddit thread. At least Hob can blame pregnancy-brain, Dream has no excuse for being oblivious. Except maybe that he was distracted by Hob’s new boobs...

In any case they finally have a chat about the issue, and both of them are thoroughly satisfied with the outcome. Hob feels truly like the happiest omega in the world as Dream kneads his full, sore tits and covers the newly burgeoning flesh in kisses. This is the life he was meant for. He can't wait for his milk to come in, so that he can provide for his child... and maybe let Dream have a suckle now and then. As long as he gives Hob a good long knotting in return!

[shapelytimber]

Wdym it's been 5 months ? Anyway, here is the end of my little comic serie about this niche Skyrim mod

*Insert me 100%ing the 4th arc of the hit mod 'vigilant' for the elder scrolls V Skyrim with little difficulty having a grand ol' time*

I messed up my files so Teldryn divorced me while I was away ckgkckkc And you know what good for him, he got a cottage and a kid out of it

[PART 1] - [PART 2] - [PART 3]

[COMMISSIONS]

If you're interested in my thoughts about this mod, you can read that below (it's fucking long so I'm sparing you all just here for the art to have to scroll through all that) vvv

A fantastic mod for sure ! I had so much fun, the voice acting was (for the most part) quite impressive, the music !!!!!!!!! Excuse me who gave this mod permission to have this fucking banger of an ost ???? Loved the new environnements, and there was so much of them !! Especially in act 4, I felt that all the locations had a unique and gorgeous aesthetic (frankly it was the most fun I had doing dungeons in skyrim... the bar is on the floor tho- if I ever see another nordic tomb or draugr I'll not be responsible for my actions), and fucking impressive mise en scene.

And the fights were so fun ??? In skyrim ?? Incredible.

But I still have some problems with it- first let's get the elephant out of the room : act 1 and 2... Boy oh boy were they not so great- I get that the begining is a slow burn to 1) get to know the vigilants of stendar, and 2) drive home the fact that the vigilants are quite incompetent and stendar hates them. Ok this is cool ! And they definetly were some highlights, like with the story of the three kajiits (I'm not good with remembering names (forshadowing for later-)), the ending of act 1, and uuuuuuuhhhh underground windhelm looked sick in act 2 !

But the quests in general were not very fun, at least not fun enough to distract me from the parts of the scenario I understood- which were kind of sexist and not that interesting (the sexism doesn't get better with act 3 and 4 but at least I'm having fun)- like I don't expect great women characters, this is still a tes mod, and it definitly doesn't get to "the man writting this is a fucking creep and I'm not playing this any longer" territory... But all the women we interact with are either : prostitutes, mothers/wives, or abuse(it's nearly always rape) victims- like I don't really mind that the first quest is to track down a vampire prostitute who propose to show me her sweetrolls, but it gets pretty tiresome after a while (and kinda ridiculous, like do all the big musley men I'm fighting in act 4 have to angst about their wives ? Can't a big musley woman angst about her partner too...). The worst one is Lamae Bal. From the charadesign, to the dialogues with her, to her story- hated that.

And also we don't have much dialogue choices and ways to influence the story in these 2 (3) first acts. Which I understand like this is a lot of work for fan content, but it's such a stark contrast to act 4 it's a bit jaring.

But speaking of the story... I get this is a very thoughtful and well researched story. A lot of work reading the tes wiki as been done by the author... But I, on the other hand, did not read the entire extended lore wiki- and I admit I was not understanding any of it during Act 4. Like I got a general idea, and the epic, dramatic and emotional moments were still impactful ! But I really don't think the author did a great job getting the story accross, and the more the mod progress, the more this problem becomes relevant. The recuring problem of tes games is that they have really deep interesting lore that we rarely get to see in the games ; the problem of this mod is that we get presented with this lore as if we already knew it.

And after watching an explaination of the story, it's such a shame because it's really good !! And well written ! But I don't think I should need a youtube video to understand it...

Also omfg I am not good with names mod please- everything has like 2-3 different weird fantasy names (but it's never explained it's the same thing, and what the thing is is never explained-), there is a billion men characters with weird ass long names, and the mod expects me to remember them all 5-6 hours after they got killed ??? I don't remember them 5 seconds after I'm done talking to them-

But I had fun playing it, and that's what matters <3 and I'll never get other twink molag bal <3

Also, my mage dragonborn is even more op now omg I can summon an army of 8ft musle men + molag bal + Jyggalag ??? The only fight I had a bit of trouble with was Pelinal's, the rest got obliterated easily (by Pelinal) kgkgkfjfifb

I'll probably need to nerf Elaris at some point in the future-

[changingplumbob]

How will the Yorks react to my plan to host a bachelorette challenge?

Deanna - Potential bachelorette Joey - Deanna's aromantic yet allosexual older brother Artemisia - Deanna's younger sister, has the evil trait Devin - 2 time Starlight Accolade winner for her acting career and Deanna's older sister Luna - Devin's wife, Deanna's sister in law Aaron - Deanna's pa (father) Calista - Deanna's ma (mother) Alfred & Rilian Villareal - Deanna's nephews

Joey: I assume you all know why I have gathered you here this evening

Artemisia: You contracted a WTD

Joey: What? No, we don't have the mods

Aaron: Look if you got someone pregnant we don't need all these theatrics

Devin: Excuse me pa? We always need theatrics

Joey: I didn't get anyone pregnant. This isn't about me, it's about Deanna

Deanna: Very funny

Joey: The watcher and I have decided you should star in a bachelorette challenge

Luna: Oh I love watching those! They're so romantic

Devin: Oh can I host? Please let me host!

Aaron: Cara your sister hasn't said yes to it

Joey: Let me give you my pitch. Tartosa is a perfect background for love. We invite a dozen or so ladies to come and get to know you Deanna, really know you. I think it could be a happily ever after for you

Deanna: I have university Joey

Devin: You have time between terms right? Oh please say yes De, my friend Norah would love to come help direct

Deanna: Aren't these things normally rather straight coded

Joey: In some dimensions, yes. But we live in a great world where homophobia is next to non existent

Devin: Except for Luna's dad, but he's not here now so its fine

Alfred & Rilian: RIP Jacques

Luna: *laughing* Wait- When did they learn to do that?

Artemisia: Ahhhh, Joey was talking

Joey: The point is we, the watcher and I, are bound to be able to find some women or non binary individuals who fit your tastes De. And we can get some family based challenges for them to compete in for extra time with you. Or get other celebrities or local businesses to feature

Calista: Oh we should ask the owners of Postres de Alegría! Maybe then I'll actually be able to get some of their pastries when I show up

Aaron: Tesoro you know if you want the raspberry tart you have to get there before midday. They can't not sell just because you might feel like a treat after your shift

Joey: If not Bob could help out, or he might know some people in Brindleton Bay who have niche interests we could use for a challenge or two

Aaron: I don't know that I like the idea of one of my bambina's pixel parts being on TV

Deanna: Yeah I second that opinion

Joey: We won't actually show any nudity, relax. Now Devin you can be host but I will obviously need to talk to any other watchers. Our watcher thinks it would be fun if they had some input about what skills their contestants would work on. If they don't she'll still need to know like orientations and official stuff

Luna: *sighs* Now you believe in multiple watchers?

Aaron: Joey has just always been rather devout

Deanna: I guess I am single...

Joey: You are

Deanna: And I'm definitely over Paris

Joey: Yes

Deanna: Reece will have to be allowed to do something or he'll pout

Joey: I can sort something. So, will you do it?

Deanna: Sure. I mean who doesn't want true love right?

I'm going to do it *internal screaming*! I'm going to start working on an intro post and some graphics so people know what the submissions need. Submissions will be open until Christmas but I'll push it out a week if needed. Ideally I would love to have households of six at a time, so I'll put slots up in groups of six as people show interest. I don't want to start off with 12 or 18 etc slots if I'll only get four sims. I'm realising a lot of my planning will need to know how many sims there are so I'll be opening up soon to help my brain.

Introductions, hosted by Devin, won't begin until mid January when most people are back from New Years holidays. So yeah, I was actually so nervous writing this all out, I need to calm down. Here's some basic Deanna info I'll put elsewhere to get the cogs in brains turning. This third child of an Italian family is studying physics with hopes of being an engineer but her main aspiration in life is Mansion Baron. She's a lesbian but I checked in game and sims with that orientation are able to flirt/form romantic attachments to non-binary people as well as cis or trans females.

[ronearoundblindly]

Ro! I’ve been on a mint chocolate chip ice cream kick lately, and it makes me wish I could share a pint with a babe (that’s also probably very much the pre period hormones, but anywayyy) which ice cream flavor do you think you would associate with each of the babes? Their favorite flavor and/or personality trait-wise.

Mint chip is my favorite, too! \o/ I don't get to eat ice cream much, but this was interesting to think about. I will try not to project onto the babes, though, only their pure likes maybe...

Oh snap! I can use the banner again!!! (All characters I've ever written for below.)

James Mace - Neapolitan

When this guy indulges (very rarely), he can't decide on just one flavor, so the easiest thing to do is get multiples. If he can go to a shop where you order by the scoop, he'll ask whoever is behind the counter what the popular or new or their faves are and try three of those. Mace, I believe, can pack away some ice cream.

Curtis Everett - Birthday Cake or Cotton Candy

The sickliest sweet things are a delight to Curtis. He's never gotten over how bland and boring and miserable the food of his childhood was. He goes nuts for sugar overload, but in intensity of taste, not in volume.

Jimmy Dobyne - Peach

Fruity, refreshing, creamy, and just screaming to add a dirty joke onto the end of it, Jimmy will use any excuse to sneak a double-entendre into polite conversation with a pretty lady. "Your peaches taste the sweetest..." Yeah, dessert is more about flirting than it is about eating. Ice cream is nice in the heat, however, so it's a great date option.

Johnny Storm - Cookies & Cream

With extra cookie crumbles and caramel sauce on top, he'll demand. Sprinkles, too, if you have it. Maybe some gummy worms or cereal. At least, like, five cherries. Oh! Also preferred that it be hard frozen when he starts eating so that it's not soup halfway through his rapid eating of it. The sensation of eating ice cream gets lost when he can barely tell it's cold.

Jake Jensen - Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip

This flavor has everything (and yeah, ok, I am projecting a bit on this one, whatever). Jake likes a whole lot of flavors and textures; he's actually not picky at all. He does enjoy ~the hunt~ for this rarer find in all his travels because raspberry is a popular flavor--it's often a sorbet though--but it's not the most popular of the berry options. He also will try all of the crazy niche flavors at hole-in-the-wall places. Conversely, it is easier to work while not holding a bowl or cone, so Jake loves a good milkshake or malt. Those he can sucked down like air.

Lloyd Hansen - Mint Chocolate Chip

My theory is this man is obsessed with fresh: fresh food, fresh sheets, fresh intel, fresh meat. Bet you his lip balm is always, only mint, too. Very classic. Very pristine. Fresh. Sweetness with a purpose.

Ari Levinson - Butter Pecan

Fine, I'm projecting again, idec, but you can't tell me Ari isn't this kind of old soul who loves not-overly-sugary treats! You cannot change my mind. That guy loves the crunch of candied pecans in there, he freaking lives for that rounded slightly-savory sweet cream flavor, and he loves that it's widely available but never sold out anywhere. Easy!

Ransom Drysdale - Coffee

And it's weirdly been that way since he was too young of a kid to drink coffee? Turns out, this was the flavor his father got but told Ransom he wasn't old enough for, he wouldn't like it. Of course, Ran immediately ordered two scoops of it in a chocolate dipped sprinkle cone, and while he may not have been totally keen on it in that exact moment, coffee-flavor grew on him. He loves it as much as he loves all of the other behaviors that say "f*** you" to his parents.

Steve Rogers - Rocky Road

Created during the Great Depression, this ice cream was shared between Steve and his Ma quite a few nights when he was too sickly to go out but needed a pick-me-up. Bucky enjoyed it with him, too, but it's not his favorite. Steve tends to really enjoy eating only when there's nostalgia attached to the food.

Bucky Barnes - Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter

Rich, velvety, and made slightly different by each company. Sometimes Bucky wants ribbons of fudge and the tiny pb cups mixed in; sometimes he wants full-blown chocolate ice cream with peanut butter swirled in. Can't go wrong. Only good, heavy, decadent happiness vibes.

I am...stunned at how confident I feel in these choices HA!

Thank you for asking!

[toskarin]

Did you know that one "wooow!" soundbite that became a meme some years back is from Sexy Parodius

so this is some deeply niche knowledge you've given me an excuse to dump: it's actually not from sexy parodius, but it is from the second parodius

so how'd a higher quality version of it get everywhere else before there was really a way to rip sound effects from games?

konami released a soundtrack (Parodius da! -Shinwa kara Owaraihe-) and the final track (It's a Sound Effects A La Carte!) was used as a sample cd, which kind of led to the sound effects becoming wilhelm scream style sound design memes that people slipped into various productions. you might've even heard a few of the other sounds on this cd floating around

it's pretty interesting!