#nicer than they look [rammstein]

[elliesthetics]

𝚋𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚘𝚍 𝚎𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚝

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #090

(taken december 15th last year; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Do you like pickles? I do, but only dill. There's another kind that some people use for burgers that is way too sweet.

What does your favorite shirt say about you? Currently, people probably correctly assume that I'm very much an advocate for equality (the shirt says "equal in our bones"), like skulls (features one), and am a supporter of Mark and Sean (Cloak is Markiplier and jacksepticeye's business). I am quite quite sure though that I'm getting a Rammstein shirt for Christmas (my mom is full aware that I am obsessed and it was one of the highest items on my list), and it's probably gonna be my new favorite or tied with the Cloak one, depending on how it fits probably.

Have you ever thought you could do a better job at being president? Than Trump? Yep, and that says A LOT because I hate politics and want NO position in the limelight, but a fucking toddler coulda done better than him. Any other president, no, I don't think so, at least not off the top of my head.

Best field trip experience? 5th grade, to the Asheboro Zoo. At that time they had meerkats and I thought I was going to pass out seeing them for the first (and so far only, sobs) time lmao.

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It's exciting and I wanna know their favorite bands and songs, lol.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? My sister's husbands and really her in-laws in general.

If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager? Unemployed.

Favorite episode of Spongebob? Maaaan that's hard, Spongebob slaps. Maybe the pizza delivery one.

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? The pebble I got for my "graduation" from the partial hospitalization program that changed my life. Everyone who was finishing the program was able to pick one from a jar, and it was meant to symbolize how stones go through such immense stress and pressure to become something shiny and beautiful. My classmates all held it in their hands as they told me goodbye and wished me well. I would break the fuck down if I lost that pebble, I'm seriously starting to tear up just talking about it. It's literally on this desk for me to see.

What bug frightens you most? Murder hornets lmfao. Stag beetles also seriously creep me out, but they look cool.

Are your parents supportive of you? Yes.

When was the last time you cried and why? Earlier today, a little bit. Ma and I drove to Wal-Mart to pick up a grocery order, and we passed by this clearly homeless woman that stays in this shopping center with some stuff in a cart. Mom sees her every time she passes. It is absolutely frigid and really rainy out today, and Mom decided to go to the Chick-fil-a across the street to get her food and a coffee. (I want to take a moment to add my mother helps out homeless people a lot with food and I think once even a drive somewhere, she is just so fucking generous.) I've been with her before when she's done stuff like this, but idk, this time just really fucking moved me and I started smiling so big and crying a bit as I watched her go over to the woman. This poor woman was keeping warm with some little candles lit in her cart, leaning over it. It just broke my heart so, so deeply. I'm crying now writing about it, I just wish this world was nicer to people. This world's an unfair nightmare.

How’s your week been? It's... actually been decent? I went up on a med recently and I've been notably more motivated and just happier.

When did you last eat pizza? [TW: EATING DISORDER MENTION/BEHAVIOR-ISH] Mom put a small one in the oven the other day when Girt was here. He didn't eat any though, he's stubborn as a mule about eating these healthy dinners he routinely orders, and he almost always brings one here when he visits. I have absolutely nothing whatsoever against him wanting to be healthy, but I still worry because this man is in perfectly healthy shape and is still convinced he needs to lose weight so sticks to them. He's very into the idea of losing I think like ten pounds and me, his family, and my mom are all like... you'd be underweight. And he once got pretty defensive about it with his sister, like he clearly believes he's not where he should be when he is, and I really do worry he has a degree of self-image issues he's never admitted to. Wow, this was a question about pizza lmao.

Are you currently frustrated with someone? No, not that I can think of.

Has anyone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Yeah; my (sadly, now former) therapist had to give up on getting me into pretty much the best mental health service in this area; she and the psychiatrist that worked with her/me were only ever meant to be temporary, and my visits are up with them/insurance won't cover any more, and the desired place was simply much too far behind on referals to get me in in time. I was real bummed. I've instead been accepted somewhere else that Mom doesn't like, but Samantha (old therapist) reassured her their mental health care was well-received, so we're trying it anyway. I don't have much of a choice. I was supposed to be settled with an official psych care team in MARCH right when I got out of the hospital. The year is ending.

What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? Pizza rolls.

Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? Nope. Just a pretty wild fun fact though, the same doctor who delivered my sisters and me also delivered Ashley's kids, haha. ... I think? Maybe just one or two? He retired at some point.

Are you currently listening to music or watching TV? I'm listening to "Lydia" by Highly Suspect.

What was the last thing you watched on TV? The first two (or three?) episodes of 1899 w/ Girt. I actually really wanna watch more of it this weekend since he's staying with me, I am SO curious about the story.

When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? A margarita or sangria. Something sweet that doesn't have a strong alcohol taste.

Do you prefer regular or electric toothbrushes? Electric.

Have you received any compliments about your appearance today? No, only my mom's seen me and I've got nothing special going on.

What is your favourite type of cat? ORIENTAL SHORTHAIRS!!!!! lil Dumbo alien cats <333333

What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? Roman Catholicism, and hell fucking no. Even as a child it didn't sit right with me, but I "believed" because I didn't want to go to Hell. Teaching your children that's their fate if they don't believe in a magical, manipulative, imaginary cast is abuse, btw.

What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Pagan stuff, like Wicca, or even atheistic modern Satanism (do your research before you get any ideas). I personally don't hold any of these belief systems because I think they make us humans seem more important than we really are (to me we are literally but little specks in an infinite space, in a tiny snapshot of time, that gives no shits about us), but the idea of finding holiness and divinity in oneself is absolutely alluring.

How many members are there in your favorite band and which is your favorite member? Gotta be honest, the only band member I know in Ozzy's solo career that is still a part of it is himself, haha. But man I would pick Ozzy REGARDLESS of the others, lol. For Rammstein, there's six guys, and I pray to Richard Kruspe at night while also utterly adoring Ollie because we're actually very similar, at least from the things that are public about him. I love all of them though, they are SUCH characters and absolute goofs together.

What heritage does your last name imply? Irish.

Name a stereotype from your country/culture. Do you agree with it? North America thinks it owns the whole fucking world, and in general, I do feel like most Americans think that, that we're like the main protagonists in life's story. Hell no we're not lmao.

Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? Why or why not? No, because guess what the fuck tits are for, and a hungry child should be fed when it's fucking hungry. I get HEATED about this topic. I'm that person that would genuinely sit with the woman if she was nervous to be a very willing guard dog, my shyness would be GONE.

In the last week, what’s the kindest thing that someone has done for you? Girt showing up with that squishmallow *and* his entire work schedule printed for the whole next year really meant a lot. ;__; The plush came from nowhere and he wanted me to have his work schedule just so I know where he is, what days are candidates for hanging out, etc. I did emphasize to him though that even on days he's off, if he doesn't wanna hang out and I ask, he better be honest about it because that is entirely fine, he's allowed to have personal time whenever he wants, and I do think he understood and is willing to do that, he's always been very honest.

What was the last kind of crisps you ate? Uhhhh crunchy hot Cheetos awhile back.

Do you think it is bad to have sex at your age? I am almost 27 bro, absolutely not.

Will you be having sex in the near future? To be entirely transparent probably because my mom is about to be out of state for almost a week, Girt is planning on staying with me so I'm not alone, and the only reason we HAVEN'T gone that far yet is because we both live with our moms right now and the idea of going that far with a mom like in the next room or something is Very Uncomfy lmao especially when I'm a virgin so I have zero idea how I'd react.

What is your ring tone? Something that came with the phone. It's always on vibrate, so I really don't even know what it is.

Have you ever phoned a sex hot line? ON GOD when my little sister, neighbor, and I had our prank call phase as kids, we once accidentally found one 😭

When was the last time you made friends with old enemies? I mean I guess when Rachel (Jason's ex/first real gf) reached out to me on Facebook and we became friends. She hated my guts in high school because first Juan wanted me instead of her (I STILL don't know if they ever actually dated or what the hell they had going on), and then I dated Jason so apparently I "had a thing for her leftovers." She once even threatened to punch me and once aggressively snatched my arm during lunch to pull me in and tell me something that resulted in me leaving Juan (which ultimately was a blessing in disguise for sure). We're totally cool now though, she was a boy-crazy teenager with an attitude, but now we'll sometimes like comment on each others stuff, react, yada yada, we're cool. She grew up, and so did I. She actually recently got married to one of my former classmates, I even almost WENT to the wedding (via public invite to FB friends) but decided I didn't care THAT much, lol.

Is there something that someone has done to you that you cannot forgive? Invalidate my trauma.

Do you find body hair sexy? Depends, I guess. I THINK I'm more attracted to less but idk.

Who was the last person in your bed other then yourself? Besides my cat, Girt.

Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? I don't think so?

What is your current MySpace song? Ancient survey, but I DO remember it was fucking "Pocketful of Sunshine" lmfao

Can you do a backwards london bridges? God no, even when I was fit I couldn't bend back and do it. I could lay DOWN on the ground and push myself up to do it, but that's it.

Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. A vet said Cookie could lose a little bit of weight and be perfect, but she's not considered overweight either.

Has anyone ever bought you a ring? My mom has, as well as Jason. I ended up losing the one mom got me down the sink (was not happy, it was really pretty), and the one Jason got, the gem actually came off really quickly and I kept it and the ring itself in a treasure box for a while, but not anymore.

Name three of your favorite colors: Light pink, coral, and hot/neon pink. Basically, PINKS lmao.

Have you ever been baptized? I was as a baby, yeah. Wish I'd made it boil. :^)

Have you been circumcised? I'm a cis female so have not been in this situation.

Would you circumcise your son? This is a decision that I would mostly leave to Girt. Being naturally a woman I simply can't properly relate to/fathom this topic. From the perspective I DO have from what I *can* understand, I'd absolutely want my son to have ease of staying clean, and I also would never want him bullied (not that I'd want or expect my kid to share this information with pretty much anyone), but at the same time, genital mutilation is not fucking cool. I have zero idea what anesthetics (if any) they use or ANYTHING, so I'd have to research this topic more and get input from the dad.

[TW: RAPE/MOLESTATION] Have you ever been raped or molested? Not to my memory, though so many docs by now have asked me, and it's been brought up before that I might have SOME sort of repressed memory because of so, so many signs. I genuinely don't think I have been, like I remember NOTHING, but who the hell knows. I had two boys in pre-k that absolutely harassed me (I've talked about this recently so not doing it again), but I wouldn't call it anything more than that, I think.

Have you ever been sick on your birthday? Hm not quite, at least I don't think so. I do remember I was RECOVERING from a stomach bug one year; I didn't feel wonderful, but we went to dinner at Olive Garden, and at this time Jason worked there and got them to do the whole "happy birthday" singing thing.

Have you ever tried to poison someone? Uh NO??????????

Have you ever saved anyone from a fire? I've never been in this situation, and hopefully I absolutely never will be.

Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I pretty much constantly felt on the verge of having one when I was on the med that made me manic, and at one point I came VERY near to going to the ER because my body was just violently, and I mean violently, seizing at very short, random intervals. I was entirely convinced I was about to have a seizure, but thankfully I fell asleep after being awake for three straight days. Stopped the med the next morning.

Have you ever had pneumonia? No.

Have you ever had a tooth knocked out? I had some molars broken when I fainted onto my chin on the bathroom floor.

Have you had a menstrual period? I'm a cis female so yes, I've had one since I was like, 13-ish. I actually asked Ma when I started today bc we were talking about how one of my nieces is nearly old enough to start and I wanted to pass away right then and there, on god. She is NOT allowed to hit puberty ok.

Have you ever had kidney stones? No.

Have you ever been bitten by a venomous animal? No.

Have you ever been pregnant? No, and I better never be.

Have you ever been sedated or put under anesthesia? Yeah, to get my cyst removed. Best sleep of my life lmfao

Have you ever used shrooms or any other hallucinogen? Nah.

[juju-rps]

juju realised that this scary draken dude is kinda nice, nicer than he looked, but her prior intimidation still hadn't completely washed off.

"eh.. actually i need help."

she could feel his piercing gaze and strong presence,

"mhm?"

"i wanted to see if you had any Rammstein merch, preferably a t-shirt."

juju wasn't able to contain her excitement when it came to her favourite bands, and she was smiling without even noticing it.

@mimidoesroleplay

𝐞𝐩 𝟐 : 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩

juju and mitsuya found their bond growing deeper after their time together on the decoration team. what started as a simple collaboration for the school festival had become a warm friendship. now, they walk home together every day. mitsuya’s easygoing nature complemented juju's shyness, allowing her to feel more at ease being herself around him. at the same time, she was a really good listener and cared about mitsuya’s interests and creative ideas. although they had a lot to chat about on their way home, even the silences were comfortable.

juju felt proud of herself for her little victory—deciding to join the decoration team. it may sound silly, but for once, she listened to herself and did what she truly wanted to do. what did that bring her? a really fun time and a great friendship that she could have never pictured happening.

inspired by this, she wanted to give a shot at something she had her eyes on, something that had always called to her: the punk shop.

juju stood in front of the shop, looking at the cool rings and accessories on display. “you can still go back now. it’s not too late to cancel all of this.” her brain was running through all kinds of survival tactics and tricks, but she gathered all her courage and walked inside.

she was met by four people sitting around the cash register. they were probably the four coolest and most intimidating people she had ever seen. “hi,” she smiled and went further inside the shop, she wasn’t prepared for any kind of social interaction.

it took her a moment to take in all that she was seeing: band posters of all kinds on the walls, every type of accessory a person could think of, and tons of very cool clothes, from shirts to denim and leather jackets to bags—there was everything.

she looked at the desk where the shopkeepers were, and one of them looked extra scary to her.

“is that- is that irezumi- ”

“shit. he saw me. he noticed me. can’t run away now.”

“uh-oh, he is walking over to me!”

poor juju was internally freaking out; she had no idea what she was doing there, all while pretending to be extra interested in a niche swedish band’s album that she had never even heard of.

[uschickens]

In re: the current Follicular Situation (and oh, to be back in a fandom that has haircut drama!) -

Maybe what had happened was Wu Xie ran into some sort of unidentified Tomb Gloop headfirst, so naturally he had to get his head shorn like a sheep. He hates it; his ears look enormous. Pangzi won’t stop laughing, and Xiaoge looks vaguely nostalgic for when they first met. Liu Sang is gobsmacked at how young he looks.

And then he’s out with Hei Yanjing, and he loses his coat, so he ends up borrowing one of Hei Yanjing’s leather jackets. He shows up at home looking something like this:

And suddenly the haircut seems a lot less funny.

(Yes, that is the Rebel haircut, not the current one, but I feel it’s always worthwhile to be reminded that Z1L has the bone structure to pull off otherwise-patently ridiculous haircuts.)

(Though is it me, or are parts of the sides shaved closer than a center stripe down the middle and back?

Can I at least console myself with the thought of punk!Z1L or punk!WX?

I mean, Wu Xie studied abroad in Germany in the late 90s/early 2000s; it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that he spent more than one night at some underground electronica club in Kreuzberg in Berlin, stumbling out at nine am on a Thursday morning to get döner from that little spot underneath the u bahn station, intertwined with a not-quite-a-boyfriend in leather and too much eyeliner, a boy who looks tough but has a hidden streak of sweetness, who takes Wu Xie back to his squat just off Alexanderplatz, where they make out lazily, and one afternoon when the generator is actually working, Wu Xie hooks up the clippers and tidies up his young man’s fade, trying and laughingly failing to cut interesting shapes into the short hair, and the not-a-boyfriend has to resort to tackling him back to the mattress and kissing him until he relinquishes the clippers, threatening him with the same treatment, and maybe Wu Xie gets a thoughtful look on his face and asks this boy to go ahead, to buzz down the sides of his head, leaving his floppy hair long in a stripe down the center of his head, and after they nap again and wake ready to head back out to the clubs, this boy scoops out a little of his good hair gel, the kind he pocketed in one of the nicer stores, rubs his fingers together, and spikes Wu Xie’s still-long hair straight up reaching for the sky.

Maybe one night they end up half-covered in colored hair spray, trying to make it red or green. Maybe Wu Xie’s hair refuses to stay spiked after the first half hour of dancing, gel melting with the heat of so many bodies packed into such a small space, writhing with the throb of music. Maybe Wu Xie has a strong sense of nostalgia for the smell of cigarettes and stale beer and hair gel and smoke machines. Maybe he feels too old to go to a club like that any more, but maybe one night he digs out the hair gel and colored spray and spikes Xiaoge’s hair and gives Liu Sang purple streaks, and maybe he puts on his old leather pants and cut off t shirt (because you know Wu Xie is the kind of little shit to still fit in his college clothes twenty years later), and maybe they set up speakers in one of Wushanju’s courtyards, and Wu Xie digs up old tracks by Rammstein and Miss Djax and an old mix from Tresor, and they have a little rave of three right there, bodies pressed as tightly as if they were in the middle of a heaving crowd of thousands, Xiaoge losing his shirt when they get warm enough to make his tattoo pop, Liu Sang’s hands creeping under the ragged hem of Wu Xie’s crop top.

And, because this is my old person fantasy, this is best because a) they can modulate the music enough so that it’s loud enough to be fun but not so loud as to hurt Liu Sang’s ears, 2) Xiaoge doesn’t get twitchy in a crowded room without clear sight lines to the exits, and c) their bed is just steps away when their feet get sore and they are out of breath, and while there’s no after hours currywurst, they also don’t have to wait in the cold in skimpy clothes and uncomfortable shoes for a taxi, plus Pangzi’s leftovers are even better eaten directly from the fridge before stumbling to bed together at a reasonable hour.)

[theelliottsmiths]

hello fren, can you rant about paul being sweet, cute, loveable and funny? tusen takk

Yes. I think @liebeistfueralleda also suggested this?

Have you ever noticed how protective and concerned over Till's physical well-being he gets? In the Rosenrot making of you can see when they're filming the beating up Till scene that he's trying to be gentle and after a little while just kind of... Vaguely jostles him? He also goes almost as hard as Till during the whipping scene, almost as if he's trying to be in that intense moment with him as well as exorcise his own demons and make Art and be able to hold how badass he is over everyone's heads. In the Mutter making of he gets annoyed that the director had Till in a freezing lake and out in the ground, stating that Till doesn't speak up for himself and will just do what he's told once things are decided. In the Ich Tu Dir Weh making of he expresses concern over the hole in his cheek. I'm curious if he ever manages to talk Till or others out of harming Till, he seems to subscribe to the Tortured Artist bullshit but also clearly cares a lot.

When he decides he wants to be someone's friend he just decides Okay were friends now! and then doesn't leave. He just kept showing up at Tills house till be became his bestie. I don't know if it's still a thing but I want it to be.

Speaking of his friendships, the fact that he went from everyone mildly hating him to being everyone's best friend is amazing. He's had a very complicated relationship with Richard over the years, and Schneider and Flake when Rammstein started said they'd only join if he didn't, and look where they are now. In fairness, I think the Flake thing was mostly jokey, they've known each other since he was a teenager and lived (for eight years), worked and basically grew up together. That's old married couple friendship levels.

He's just so affectionate. It really balances out how much of a bastard he is. They'll be talking about him and essentially say "Yeah he relentlessly mocks me and tells me I'm doing things wrong but I love him dearly". On stage last year especially he was checking in and looking after Richard when he seemed to be having a hard time and was reaching out for affection.

(he's making fun of Richard for having to pull up his sleeves)

His shout is delightful. It's just... Really dry and flat? It reminds me of you know on game shows they have a paper doorway thing people burst through? Yes that. I wish it was used more.

He has a face made for happiness. His wrinkles are all smile-activated (I have to get creative I can only attach ten things). His smile muscles must be so so buff. He's talked before about the nature of Feeling B meaning he had to pretend to always be cheerful so sometimes when I see him smiling without there being a Thing (especially because he probably has a lot of trauma he passes off as nothing) I think oh no it's all lies but I mean, everyone has a default face and it's nicer than the other kinds of resting face. He is very handsome, one of the most masculine boys, and I think his eyes are very pretty. His eyebrows usually look like he half shaved them and I do enjoy that.

He's so compact. I want to just grip his shoulders, they're wide but also kind of dainty? Just a solid pat pat on the shoulders for him. He's exactly as large as he needs to be. He wears his tall shoes sometimes but if he wants to be in the same photos of Oli at a decent distance he kind of has to. Also I wish my dress sense was like his. He always looks either cosy or hot.

I adore the way he talks. His accent, the things he actually has to say, the way he rolls Rs so hard in his throat. He talks in the bubble writing that teenaged girls use on poster projects. I could watch so much video footage of him without getting bored.

His stage presence is completely chefs kiss. In particular I enjoy the way he hops and twirls about on stage even now, but there's also all the little sillinesses like eating the confetti, the Haifisch Thing with Till, his playing (and snuggling, kissing and hand holding) with Richard, his explorations around the stage to see Schneider and Oli etc. As much as I love the others he's the one I'd be watching at a show, you know? He makes sure the band and the fans are having a good time.

He has so much fun with his hair. It has looked normal maybe twice in his life and both times it was dyed so there was still Something and honestly why the fuck not? Truly, we should all say fuck it and go wild, it's just hair. He was so confident in his weird hair that Flake saw him and went yeah I'll let this guy cut my hair.

Some of my favourite Paul moments:

In this interview there are so many but I think the funniest is when he demolishes Linkin Park for no reason. Nobody was talking about Linkin Park but he has an opinion and he Must make it known. A man after my own heart.

Fleischfarrrbenen Drraght lang legst

Slimy into the people. No, I can tell it.

Just... This entire clown interview.

It's very small, and from back there it's even smaller! I can't believe nobody laughed. Love seeing him play, love hearing about his guitar things, hate that he has his bare feet out

The Metallica joke. Again, wasted on them

The whole thing where he just kind of attempted to eat a chunk of ceiling tile (starts about 55 mins in)

Misc.

The time he wilted on stage during Live aus Berlin

[mcrmadness]

14, 15, 33 (like generally in people, not dating-wise), 40, 47 :D

Ask game: Unusual asks.

Thanks! 8D

14: What is your least favorite word?

In which language? :D Also this is probably the hardest question in this ask game because I literally don't know XD But I try to think about something.

OH NOW I KNOW! I hope people don't get mad at me but RIGHT NOW my least favorite word is "gender envy". I just have this thing when I'm exposed to something against my will - could be a word, a celebrity's face (or name) or even just a tv series - and too often in very short time, and suddenly I just get an overload of that and I feel so fed up with it and can no longer tolerate it AT ALL and everything about said thing just gets on my nerves and makes me so angry that if it's e.g. a tv series someone's watching, I simply have to leave the room because I can't stand anything about it at all anymore, not even the musics nor actors' voices.

So lately this happened to me with this word. It just came out of nowhere and I see so many using it now and I can't escape because it's not only on Tumblr, it's also on Discord and on every freaking website I go to, and I feel like I'm going crazy but I just can't NOT SEE that word because there's no way to avoid it. Even if I filtered the tag on Tumblr, I'd still have to see the word because Tumblr would tell me "this post was filtered for the tag #gender envy". And it kinda sucks.

(I'm agender/nonbinary so I don't feel gender envy because there's no one born without a physical gender and I usually don't look at snails or so and be like "I wish I had its gender" - besides they are hermaphrodite and not genderless so...)

***

15: What is your favorite word?

This is also something I haven't really thought about. Okay my brain just said I should say: Gotham. Because it's one of my favorite tv series, after Gotham City which is Batman's home city, and if you put that word in half you get: Got-Ham.

That's why my siblings (they're 26 btw) started talking about the show with the Finnish word for ham: kinkku. So my sister would ask my brother "Should we watch 'Kinkku'?" when she wanted to continue watching Gotham :DDDDDDDD

***

This got bit long so the next ones under the cut...

33: What turns you off?

The lack of sense of humour. I seriously don't think I'd ever be able to get along with someone who either has no sense of humour at all or has it completely different from mine.

Also people who don't respect others, people who refuse to listen to others. Nothing makes me angrier and more frustrated than when I'm trying to say something and people say "I don't care." and won't let me even finish because they don't want to hear what I have to say only because they THINK they're gonna disagree. And even if they do disagree, it'd still be nice of them to let people finish before proclaiming that they disagree. Not doing that makes a person just an asshole.

And another thing is the music taste, having it different won't make a friendship impossible, but it always drops my mood a bit to learn I again listen to different bands and genres altogether than someone new I learnt to know, because it seems to be something that just always keeps happening...

***

40: First concert you attended

It was in 2007 and My Chemical Romance's concert in Finland. It was also their first gig in Finland ever. The concert took place in Helsinki, I was 16 and met a few internet friends I had but mainly spent time with my parents who I went to the concert with. The gig itself was insane, I had never been to an actual concert before because I was so afraid of big crowds because of my social anxiety and I always thought I don't care about going to concerts. But something in me needed to experience an MCR concert and I'm glad that I did that, because I really like going to concerts now. Every time I feel like dying tho, but somehow I still end up buying concert tickets anyway XD

The concert itsel was insane and I didn't even feel the anxiety there at all! After the concert we were hanging out near the venue and my parents already wanted to leave but I just had this feeling that we should not leave yet, and then they said we have to go now so I started walking after them and crying, and that's when I heard girls screaming behind the venue and as we went there, Frank was actually there writing signatures, and we quickly ran there and I don't remember anything else but this small group and we just handed him the ticket, he wrote his name and we left :D

Here's a photo, I still find it hard to believe that I got Frank's signature but this ticket is a proof of that so I guess I just have to trust it XD

After all that we then visited this "Rock McDonald's" in Helsinki, it's just some regular McDonald's with rock themed furniture and music and that night they were playing only MCR, and from there we went back to the hotel.

***

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

I think I answered this question in another ask a couple of weeks ago but I don't remember what I said :D Probably talked about Christmas but now I started wondering it this means like... those HOLIDAYS like Christmas, or just any kind of free days from school and work. Because I've been having one long weekend for the past 2 years, and before that holidays didn't really exist for me because horses need to be fed and taken care of no matter what the calendar says :D

Anyway I think I'm gonna say: Midsummer. In Finland it's a big thing. Well, for most it just means drinking and partying outside, but not for me because I hate people and don't drink alcohol lmao. No but, I actually was born on Midsummer Eve, the Eve is never the exact same date every year (it's always a Friday, tho) so when I have my birthday, it's not necessarily that year's Midsummer Eve. Apparently also not this year, so usually I'm having my birthday during Midsummer but I haven't celebrated it since I turned 18, so it's not really a big deal for me. I'd rather forget about it because I have had an age crisis since I was 23... anyhow, this year I'm gonna turn 30 so I know it's gonna be a bit bigger thing for my family and relatives but I'd rather not be reminded of that because for the past 10 years I have just been worrying about how 30 is closer every year because when I hit that age, then 40 will be closer than ever, too ::D

A "fun" fact about Midsummer and what it means in Finland: Every year everyone wishes for bad and good weather simultaneously because people want to spend the day in good weather but good weather means people like to go swimming. And alcohol + swimming is NEVER a good combination and the warmer the day, the more people will drown. Every Midsummer Day or the first work day after Midsummer weekend, you will find reports from all newspapers about how many people drowned this time. The nicer the weather, the bigger the number(s)... It's terrible, and people are adviced to look after their friends and family and never leave anyone alone near the water when alcohol is involved. Even I have sometimes kept an eye on someone because they were drunk and went close to the lake (not necessarily during Midsummer, but whenever I've been spending time with my mom and her siblings and friends at a summer cottage).

I don't want to end this so dramatically so I also want to say that I like Midsummer because in Finland, the sun never really sets during summer. And during Midsummer the nights are usually the brightest and soon after that it starts getting darker and darker again. It always makes me sad because the summer is so short here, but I really love these summer nights when there's like 3 hours between the sunset and sunrise but the sky doesn't even have time to turn dark during that time. Finnish summer is something special and magical.

It's probably impossible to imagine and incredibly difficult to show in photos too, but here's my attempt:

This one was taken in (the beginning of) June 2017, at 2:00 in the morning during this photo. I think it's very close to the actual lighting of that night. It's so easy to get too dark or bright photos with a proper camera and I can never remember afterwards which of the brightnesses was the correct one. (Btw we [aka me because I'm the only one of my family with a driver's license] were driving back home from Helsinki, we were to Helsinki because of a Rammstein concert :D)

I also have some photos taken at 9pm what looks more like it was in the middle of the day, and also a photo I took at 3am and it looks like it's a daytime too. It's slightly darker between 11pm and 2am and then it gets bright again. But I'm too lazy to add them to this because they just look like daytime photos and you only have my word about the actual time, so it still doesn't feel the same as actually being outside at 3am while it's bright as day :D

[struwwelzeter]

Links 234 Making of Liveblog

I don’t quite understand why so many seem to dislike this video. Is it Zoran? Do you dislike bugs that much? Are you worried about the bugs? Is it the CGI from 20 years ago? What is it? Please let me know, I’m genuinely curious.

I adore this video. I think it makes perfect sense conceptually. Ants are such a nasty working class species, they do seem militant, and I think it just hits the nail on the head. The way they eat the big bugs, like they dothe whole organise and stage a rebllion thing, and yeah it’s slightly cliche but also so cool?! It’s the stripped aesthetic without the problems and without the beauty, that’s all. Do you think it’s weird I see it that way? It’s so ... yes, please let the grimy assembly line worker be powerful, thank you!! I love that.

I dislike Zoran as a person, but you can’t argue that he has vision sometimes?! I mean I think sometimes he doesn’t nail it, but he did nail it with Links, and with Mein Teil and with Steh Auf.

Ok, if they actually did that video in a month that is logistically fucking insane and I physically feel the pain of anyone who works to deadlines like that. All hail the nightshift pixel movers, forever connected by a bloodstream full of red bull and broken relationships, sorry but yes, the world WILL end if we don’t finnish in time. I suddenly love every soul working on this.

Yeah so artistically speaking every word Zoran says makes perfect sense to me, I just wish he wasn’t so self indulgent about it.

“The next Rammstein video has to be something funny and postive.” - next video is Mein Teil.

Ah, yeah but that existential angst in that room, what if this doesn’t work out, what if they don’t like it, etc. I feel a bind you guys. I dislike the way he says “what if they don’t pay us” - because I’m biased two ways, both because Rammstein has a pretty stellar reputation when it comes to paying the people working for them (but it’s possible that wasn’t as known back then) but also because it’s again one of those things that kind of wound my pride in the work we provide, like really? It seems ... unprofessional. Not so much because distrusting clients isn’t normal, but more because - don’t put yourself in a position where you have to be scared like that, make them pay a part up front, get your contracts checked, etc. This is such a problem for the entire industry that too many of us work this way, don’t pull the level down like that it’s ruining it for all of us. Creative work is still work and valuable as fuck, treat it as such, please.

I would love to be a fly on the wall on the “how long is a bar” discussion (the subtitles are bad, that’s what they discussed appearantly, not the beat). If Schneider really thought that was a bar ... I feel bad because honey you’re wrong and Paul is right. But there must be something lost on the way because I can not imagine him being that wrong, I’m sure they were discussing parts rather than actual bars?

Client: I need to see.

Creative: It’s not finnished.

Client: But I need to see because I don’t give a shit about your expertise and am worried I won’t get anything good for how much I underpay you.

Creative: Fine, but bear in mind it will look still look miles away from what we have agreed. You will have to use your imagination.

Client: it doesn’t look like you told me it would look. Please change everything.

Creative: ok, but that will cost extra.

Client: Fuck you, I’m not paying you extra.

Creative: then I’ll just finnish what we planned.

Client, later: Now it looks perfect! Why didn’t it look that way right in the beginning.

...

.... afsrrjskaldhdksldkdbskskdkf!!1!!!!

Honestly considering that this is a (relatively) low budget production from almost 20 years ago, the animation is pretty solid, alot nicer than Benzin actually because they covered up the technical shortcomings with the styling.

Mongolian sword fighters and Rammstein as noone has ever seen them - Mein Teil and Steh Auf have been coming for a long while.

So yeah, I mean, Zoran is whiny and selfimportant as usual and I dislike that but the video does turn out lovely and I feel a huge kinship to the people working on it. I’m really curious to hear more thoughts on this, because there seems to be little around other than “don’t like it” - ok, but why?

https://youtu.be/raiegv5AVEM

https://youtu.be/Ph-CA_tu5KA

[a-silent-symphony]

Metal behemoths Nightwish: “David Attenborough wrote to personally decline appearing on our album”

The arena-filling group's golden-lunged singer Floor Jansen talks album nine, Swedish lockdown and why the world's greatest conservationist turned them down

With the exception of maybe Rammstein – and we’re only quantifying this statement because they own flamethrowers and we do not – no band in European metal can rival Nightwish for their popularity in mainland Europe.

Formed in Kitee, Finland in 1996 by top hat-wearing keyboard player Tuomas Holopainen, the band welcomed Dutch-born singer Floor Jansen in 2012, by which point they were seven records into their career. The addition has seen the symphonic metal band become bigger, grander, more expressive and increasingly ambitious. She’s such a force that she’s become a Dutch TV personality, appearing on the musical talent showcase Best Zangers.

Their recent ninth record, the infuriatingly stylised ‘Human. :II: Nature.’, is their first double-release, the second half featuring lush orchestral music over the band’s core metal. Listen to album highlights ‘Harvest’, ‘How’s The Heart?’ and ‘Noises’ – rarely has a modern metal band’s music been infused with such power and glory. Tellingly, despite being released within the very centre of storm COVID-19, the record entered the charts of Finland, Spain, Switzerland and Germany at Number One.

With that in mind, we decided to check in with one of Europe’s favourite heavy metal bands. Your guide for the duration will be Floor Jansen and her massive lungs. She will roar and you will quiver…

Hello Floor. Can I tell you what I really like about the new Nightwish album? There’s so much misery and ugliness everywhere right now, and yet your record is so ornate, grandiose and – dare I say it – hopeful…

“We were definitely going for that. There are so many different instruments on the record and so many different parts. Nightwish is quite complex music, really, and so it was important for us to have real emotion in the songs; something that cut through everything. The dynamics were really important to us. The songs needed space. Sometimes what you don’t put into a song is as important as what you do. There are nine songs on this record and eight orchestral suites. Without dynamics it would have been a very relentless listen.”

Can we go way back? I don’t think it’s any exaggeration to say that your voice is properly, brilliantly amazing. When did you realise you could sing like that?

“I guess when I was a teenager. There was a school production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and I auditioned. I didn’t get a very important part in it. You know how it is – the popular kids get all the best parts and that wasn’t me. But even just being stuck in the background, I absolutely loved it. I didn’t know I was any good, though. I was pretty badly teased at school, so my confidence was quite low.”

Do you want us to fuck someone up? Why were you teased?

“I was taller than everyone else and my dialect was different. I was just… different.”

Do you think that experience has had any lasting impact on you?

“I do… but, to be honest, only really positively. I can’t say I look back fondly at those years and certainly not at the people who were doing that, but I do think I stand on more stable legs in adulthood because of it. I don’t want my daughter [three-year-old Freja] to have to go through that, though.”

Do you ever have the classic revenge scenario where you’re standing onstage in front of thousands and thousands of people screaming your name and think, ‘Well, I won, didn’t I?’

“All the time. Especially now I’m on this Dutch TV show that has really increased my popularity in the Netherlands. I sometimes wonder if those people would even remember me and I don’t spend that much time thinking about them. You have to live for yourself – I’m almost 40, y’know!”

Tell me more about the TV show. I love the name! Beste Zangers!

“It translates as Best Singers! It’s not a contest or anything like that. It’s a collection of singers of different styles and backgrounds who sing each other’s music to one another, or collaborate on cover versions of songs that have inspired us. It’s a really nice show, and all about a love of music. It’s prime-time Saturday night television and it’s completely changed my life! It’s really benefited Nightwish too. We were already doing well in Holland and playing arenas, butt it’s definitely increased our profile, which is brilliant for me after 24 of nobody in my home country paying me any attention!”

The new Nightwish record was released on April 10, making you one of a tiny number of bands who can attest to the realities of releasing an album at the epicentre of a global pandemic. How has that been?

“We were one of the very first bands who had to cancel a tour. We were actually supposed to start in China. I should be there right now. Very early on we realised that the tour wasn’t going to happen, even though the illness was at that point contained in one continent. Then the global fuck-up that resulted in an illness becoming a pandemic happened. I still can’t believe that it has happened, really. It feels so incredibly unnecessary…”

I’m detecting you have an opinion about how this has all played out? You live in Sweden, right?

“I do. I emigrated five years ago, from Holland.”

Sweden’s approach to handling the virus has been very liberal – there’s been no mass lockdown, as there has been in elsewhere in the world. Do you think they took the right approach?”

“Partly. At the same time, I’m not a scientist, so what do I know? It’s all about following the science.”

I’d like to remind you that there’s a species of beetle named after you. Last year scientist Andreas Weigel named the newly discovered insect Tmesisternus floorjansenae. It’s fair to say you have more scientific credibility than almost any other heavy metal singer…

“Okay – well, in lots of ways the Swedish approach makes sense to me. Sweden is a big country with not that many people. It makes sense to me that the approach would be different to in the UK or back in Holland. Then again, a big city is a big city, whether it’s in Sweden or anywhere, and if people from the cities start moving away then I think we have to be careful. During Easter there were people everywhere near where I live, on the Gothenburg side of the country, next to the sea. Sweden is a big enough country that there’s enough space for people not to be locked down – but you head to a touristy place anyway? That I don’t get. It’s stupid.”

Speaking of space – you’re married to Hannes Van Dahl, the drummer in military history obsessed, Swedish metal titans Sabaton. Onstage he plays his drums sat inside the cockpit of a tank. I presume you have badass military stuff lying all around your house?

“Oh, everywhere. All over the house.”

Really?

“No!”

I heard that you have horses, though. It doesn’t seem fair to me that you’re allowed to have horses, but your husband can’t have a battleship in the garden…

“Oh, he doesn’t mind. Horses are nicer than war. I have two – Lily, named so after my mum, and Auri, named after my bandmates’ Tuomas [Holopainen] and Troy [Donockley]’s side project – and also a character from The Kingkiller Chronicle series of fantasy novels by Patrick Rothfuss.”

I think it’s fair to say that you’re not the only member of Nightwish that bloody loves nature. The band just teamed up with the conservation charity the World Land Trust. Tell me about that…

“They’re a great organisation. The video for the last song on the album, ‘Ad Astra’, was filmed in conjunction with them. They work to preserve our planet by buying up areas of land and preserving them. I think it’s hypocritical that we’re telling Brazil that they need to save their rainforest when European’s have absolutely decimated their own. But at the same time, we really do need to save the rainforest or we’re facing a climate crisis. The World Land Trust works with governments to find alternative financial outlets for local people to stop logging and deforestation. You can’t just say to people, ‘Stop doing this’. You need to consider the human impact, then the environmental one. We found out about them via David Attenborough being a patron…”

Please tell me he’s a fan…

“We tried to get him to speak on the album. We wrote him a letter and he wrote one back, declining, but it was very impressive that a man of his stature would write personally to us and explain that he just didn’t have the time right now.”

You can’t like all animals, Floor. There must be one you’d like to see eradicated from the face of the earth…

“No! I love all of them. I love cats. I love dogs. I love birds in all their splendour!”

C’mon…

“Okay, okay… I don’t really like snails. We grow vegetables and they eat my crops. They’re disgusting. I don’t wish them death, though! I just wish they’d go somewhere else!”

[jamesv-t]

99 Parkruns, not a stitch at one

(Probably an inaccurate title, given my earlier poor running style!)Saturday was my 99th parkrun, and my 15th at my new home of Lancing Beach Green. I wanted to mark it in style! But what to do? Maybe get a red balloon for each run, and let them all go as I cross the finish line? Bad for the environment, and I might accidentally cause an international nuclear incident*. Run while eating an ice cream with a flake? Bit messy! Listen to Rammstein while running, as their keyboardist is nicknamed "Flake"? Somewhat tenuous, even by my standards!I settled for breaking out the demon and getting not one but two Personal Bests instead.(Sidebar: Fergal Devitt wrestles in the WWE under the name Finn Balor. Part of his character is that he can tap into his demon side; for those matches he enters the ring with face/body paint on, to a heavier version of his theme song and wrestles with a more vicious set of moves. "Demon Finn" is also undefeated. [And yes, I'm well aware that wrestling - like 95% of TV shows, from Game Of Thrones to Love Island, is scripted - doesn't stop it being entertaining.] I have my own version of this gimmick, in that whenever I've worn my Brighton Marathon 2018 shirt I've got some form of PB.) The week before, at the same parkrun, I finished one second shy of equalling my PB time at that course - and this despite running into 40mph wind for the final 2.2km of the run. This time, with much nicer conditions - sunshine, a gentle breeze - I knew I could break my course PB. In fact, I'd be disappointed if I didn't. Part of the issue was the auto-pause feature on Strava - it didn't kick in until 3 seconds after I started the run last week, so what I thought was a new PB was just too slow. Bearing this in mind I mentally added five seconds to whatever my watch was showing this time round, to try and ensure that I didn't go through the same thing again. I flew out of the traps, rather than taking it slow, and 300m in at the first hairpin I was surprised to see how many more people there were behind me than usual - albeit with a much greater attendance at this week's run than last week's! Back past the start line, up the slope and onto the beach side path, I found a suitable candidate for my holistic pacing (find someone who looks like they're going the pace you want to run at, and stick behind them) and slotted into a brisk pace. The first km ticked by at 5:21, a pace that would see me comfortably beating the course PB - I knew that if I slowed and dropped off my pacer I would probably have enough to get me over the line. I've never really been one for negative splits! The next km was slightly slower, at 5:31, perhaps a better reflection of the speed I'd settled in at as I dashed off and covered the first few hundred metres somewhat faster. The second hairpin turn at 2.8km gave a boost - I'd turned away from the sun, and into the breeze, which was gentle enough not to hinder me but strong enough to cool my skin - a black short sleeved shirt wasn't comfortable in the heat! I kept an eye on my watch, steadily ticking down the distance while the clock ticked ever upwards. At the 4km mark I rounded the tricky bend by the sailing club and had a more open view of the route ahead of me, so started to pass people and reel in the next one ahead, pass them and reel in the person that they were following. I passed a few people this way, alternating between glancing at my watch and the person ahead, until with 400m left I opened up my stride and went for it! The final 100m are a gentle slope, curving down to the right, and I firmly stuck to the inside of this bend before bursting over the line in a sweaty mess. Last week I'd finished the run in 27:54. My course PB at Lancing was 27:53, and my 5k PB (set at Hove Prom) was 27:07. Adding an extra 5 seconds onto my time to account for watch foibles (which turned out to be the exact discrepancy between my watch time and the official Parkrun time) I finished the run in 26 minutes and 48 seconds, a new course PB and distance PB! *For some reason in my head I'd conflated the false alarm incident linked, to the probably fictional incident in the song, and only realised that they were different while writing this up today. The more you learn, I guess! via Blogger http://bit.ly/2KnjvSV

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ₛₜₐᵣᵢₙg ᵢₙₜₒ yₒᵤᵣ ₛₒᵤₗ..

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ＭＥＩＮ ＬＡＮＤ

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▀▄▀▄▀▄☆~ S̠ ̠O̠ ̠N̠ ̠N̠ ̠E̠ ~☆▄▀▄▀▄▀

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⬛ ⬜️ ⬛

⬜️ ⬛ ⬜️

⬛ ⬜️ ⬛

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Rosenrot !!!

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αɓรσℓµƭε ɓσ$$ ~~🌺🎀🩰

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Engels,,