#ngl some of it feels SO romantic between them

[fading4ngel]

i need to inject silverv into my veins desperately.

[p1utofairy]

★ WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT IN REGARDS TO YOUR LOVE LIFE?

NOTE: miss me? hehe. i felt called to answer the bat signal (i saw y’alls messages in my ask box ILYSM) take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. thank y’all for the support always. 🫂

PILE ONE.

ooo this fall i do see a very solid romantic connection coming into fruition for you, pile 1. there’s such a high level of comfortability between you both it’s sooooo sweet and endearing. you could already be friends with this person, but if that’s not the case, they will be your best friend and lover wrapped into one. diary by alicia keys is coming to mind – wow! the energy is very sensual and venusian-like. maybe you or this person has taurus and/or libra placements? you two connect on such a deep spiritual level. i can just feel it, pile 1. opening up to this person will be so easy for you, which is crazy because i feel like you’re not vulnerable/open with just ANYBODY.

lay your head on my pillow, here you can be yourself. no one has to know what you are feeling, no one but me and you. OKAY BYE I’LL CRY RN?! the emotions between you two run very deep & i feel like you both will create such a calm, intimate and loving space for each other. this connection will be so healing — i’m picking up that either you or your person never truly knew what it felt like to have a strong support system or someone in your corner through thick and thin, but let me tell you something, pile 1. you and your person will show up and out for each other!

you might be a bit defensive or standoffish towards this person at first, because you’re afraid of being hurt or let down once again. however, i want you to know that it’s okay to open your heart and be receptive. some of you that picked this pile might have a scorpio moon, because i’m picking up that it’s really hard to knock down that wall you have built around yourself. this person wants to take the time out to get to know you, the REAL you, and all your little quirks and interests because there’s more that meets the eye when it comes to you. i feel like you compartmentalize different aspects and traits within yourself & suppress them to conform to what others think you should be/should act like — but your person is saying f*ck that. they are going to love you in all your glory.

i’m ngl you could see yourself settling down with this person. they’ll fulfill you in so many ways that others can't even imagine or measure up to. this person is going to take care of you & splurge on you. they have very dominant energy and you’re going to love that about them lol for some of you might f*ck around and have a baby with this person. for a small portion of this pile, they might already have a child from a previous relationship. if that’s not the case though, you’re just going to love how hands on they are with you (literally hehe) & how they take the lead and make all your dreams come true. your person also has a lot of sexual energy lol in the best way possible. it’s so sly and lowkey but you’ll be folding like a pretzel pile 1 LOL.

channeled messages:

pov by ariana grande, free mind by tems, touch my body by mariah carey, you’re the only one that i want, dangerously in love pt. 2 by beyoncé.

PILE TWO

i think you need to get yourself out there a little moreeee, pile 2. i think that you’ll have more opportunities to meet new people and have some fun experiences, but it’s up to you to go out there and mingle. you’ve been keeping to yourself for a while now and there’s nothing wrong with that. pulling your energy back & recharging is good for the soul, but you also need to step into your power and claim what’s yours. remember – whatever you want, wants you even more. you’re glowing tf up this fall, pile 2.

you’re definitely elevating and so many people are going to peep it, especially romantic suitors. get out of your heads my lovely pile 2’s and open your mind + your heart to the limitless possibilities and opportunities that await you. you downplay yourself too much! TALK YOUR SHIT. you’re gonna have a couple love interests trying to get your attention & shooting their shot and it might throw you off, but just go with it. f*ck it, the more the merrier. lol i’m kidding but seriously have some fun!

you’ll know who is worth the chance and who isn’t. some of you that picked this pile might be a little inexperienced when it comes to relationships/love, so you just need some side quests and test runs to decipher what you do and don’t like lol. i’m also picking up a situation-ship vibe from this pile as well – some of you might have a lot of options but all you can think about is one specific person. you might not be talking to them right now, but your guides don’t want you to worry too much about them. focus on how you can create the reality you want for yourself. you’re the main character of your story, don’t be a perpetual side character in somebody else’s. i’m getting a lot of different messages for this pile, but one of the main things that’s sticking out to me is that whoever you pick/choose to entertain, you will have intense sexual chemistry with that person lol. you won’t be able to fight it hehe it’ll be the start of something new and exciting, pile 2.

channeled messages:

body by summer walker, go out with your friends, lemon drop, out of my head lupe fiasco ft. trey songz.

PILE THREE.

oh my, pile 3. did y’all just get out of a relationship or situationship? it’s really giving that. i think you need to work on becoming more grounded, and enforce healthy boundaries with your romantic partners and just everyone in general tbh. you’re so giving and nurturing. you’re always pouring into others, but where are they when it’s time to pour into you? you’ve had to come to terms with this the hard way :( people think that because you’re so compassionate and forgiving that they can walk all over you. this feeling of frustration has bubbled up inside of you for so long now, that it makes you feel pessimistic when it comes to love.

your guides want you to release this energy and not let it set you back or deter you from opening yourself up to a new partner that can and will cherish you. your love is very powerful – you are a REAL lover! if you get knocked down, you’ll rise up 10x stronger. please remember that always. your love is divine, it’s pure and it’s simply addicting; that’s why people felt like they could just take and take and take without you saying anything to them. the person that you were previously connected to knows you have a good heart, but they don’t value it. i am very happy to let you know that there is a special someone out there that will, and they are coming towards you.

they will claim you loud & proud and be so greatful to have you in their life and by their side. your person is so encouraging and kind, yet a lil rough around the edges – you almost wouldn’t expect this from them. they’re definitely going to match your freak lol. physical touch + words of affirmation might be their love language too btw. i think you need to let go of your ex/previous situationship, and take a leap of faith into the unknown with this new person. their love will feel so freeing and refreshing <3 the love between you both will hold no bounds. you deserve this pile, 3.

channeled messages:

wait for you by future ft. drake & tems, i’ll be there for you/you're all i need by method man ft. mary j blige, maddy perez, mula, ketu-moon aspect, anything by SWV, the weekend by sza.

[theyluvlyss]

𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲...

...wishing there was a yellow font color😔...

𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

《 ♡ 》 headcannons

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :

while it's always fun to imagine (haha, get it💀) what it'd be like for him to be your best friend or your boyfriend, there's times when you yearn for that tension. that something in between that's more than a platonic relationship, but just short of being a lover. and I'm here to revive that feeling of what it'd be like for vance hopper to have a crush on you...

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

fem!reader x vance hopper - she/her/her pronouns!

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

70s-80s - the grabber doesn't exist

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

cursing (lots of it though, it ain't just me this time) - mentions of aggression/violence/fighting (it's vance, y'all, get serious lol) - vance also being kind of a menace as well, ngl💀 - some angsty themes/scenarios - good ending tho, dw lmao.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

Vance even finding somebody attractive just in general sense, no deeper emotions than that, feels like the end of the world to him. Like, on one hand, he knows these feelings are natural, and there's not really shit he can (or will) do about them, but GOD is it torture for him.

He hates the butterflies, the nerves, the stress-sweats, the inescapable urge to look his crush’s way, all of it. It's gross and uncomfortable, and if he could turn off the ability to feel attraction on a whim, he would.

Butttt,,,, at the same time, he is also a teenage boy. There's no way where SOMETIMES he doesn't mind maybe, POSSIBLY having a lil' hallway crush. Getting to check them out when they're not looking or seeing them outside of school; a pleasant surprise.

And I think just that alone could be a potential reason for why and how he'd be crushing on you. One of those things that, kind of like in Robin's case, just sneaks up on him without realization until it's “too late”.

It was obvious and amused scoffs at your outfit choices (because it's not like you or anyone else is gonna say shit about it lmao). It's him - like I said - checking you out when you're not looking and sometimes even shamelessly. It's him suddenly growing more and more ready to see you every day at school, lowkey trying to make sure you see him.

Walking past you a bit slower than his average stride through the halls, purposely tapping his pen against the desk louder than it to just be written off as "habit", other things similar that would leave you not wondering in the slightest because each "move" he makes is more subtle than the last (not on purpose, he just doesn't know what he's doing lmfao💀).

Leave him wondering why it even mattered to him if you did just give him the smallest morsels of your attention … until you did give it, and then he forgot how to think and he was fighting down the heat steadily rising to his cheeks and he just…

He'd get so pissed tf off, I just know it😭💀. Not at anyone in particular, but he's highstrung, okay, we know this😭✋🏽. And he never knew if that factor about himself was a good thing or a bad thing, because while chasing you off meant that these "gross" feelings would subside, it also meant losing the good aspects of all of this, too.

He'd be a little upset to see you look at him - not with curiosity like you had been - but the same way everyone else did. With fear and nerves. Or even not look at him at all, just a head and a set of eyes drooping straight to the floor or the nearest wall or wherever, anywhere to avoid his gaze. He wouldn't admit it, not even to himself, but if you did it, it'd sting a little.

But, regardless of everything I just said, no way in hell is he making any of the first moves. Not because of lack of confidence or anything, but the guy has no clue where he'd even begin to approach someone romantically. You'd just be another faded crush added to the pretty short list of faded crushes.

But, for the sake of these headcannons, let's say you were the one to nonchalantly approach. He'd go through that little routine he has with anyone he wasn't “cool” with, a glare up and down your person that, if didn't send you away on it's own, came right along with a snarky, “The fuck do you want?” leaving his lips.

“You're Vance Hopper, right?”

“Who's asking?”

“I am. I actually have a question for you.” … “How come you play that pinball machine so much?”

“That's none of your fucking buisness, unless you're tryna’ beat me or something.”

“‘Course not, I don't even know how to play. But…you know, it is the only one in town…”

“...And?”

“You should teach me.”

“Why in the hell would I do that? You're out of your mind; move.”

“Like I said, the machine you play on is the only one in town. You're hogging it.”

“The fuck'd'you just say…?”

“And since you're hogging it, you might as well teach me. Not like anyone else can…”

“tch, Please. Fuck off…”

And say, for the sake of these headcannons, you didn't fuck off, and that you showed up a random afternoon to the Grab'n’Go and bothered Vance anyways until he agreed to teach you (just as long as you didn't come close to his high score).

Or anything relating to this could definitely work. Maybe you pestered him about a specific comic you saw him holding. Or maybe where he'd gotten his jean-vest. Or just any one of his interests, really. If you have enough patience and he doesn't completely decide to push you away, he'll find himself reluctantly flattered at the way you persisted in learning more from him.

Let me repeat.

From him.

Wouldn't you know it? It's quite literally that easy. With a little bit of confidence and persistence without getting too pushy and insane amount of luck, you too can have your very own "Pinball" Vance Hopper. Ka-chow😎.

Once again, he won't say that, obviously, but it's true. It's the thing of now he can't help but let the crush get worse now that you've taken such a wanting interest in him. Actually hoping you come up to him in school, or smile when he checks you out without a care in the world, or actually agree when he's asking- well,,, more or less demanding you to go somewhere with him…

“After school, we're heading to the diner; I'm fuckin’ starving…”

“You ate your lunch and mine, what are you talking about😭?”

"Right, which means your ass is probably hungry, too, so we're going.”

And god forbid if he's ever jealous. Fuck his world ending. THE world ends, ain't no saving the person who's causing these riled up emotions within him, not when he's already as temperamental as they come😭💀✋🏽. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a person! As long as your time isn't occupied by him or being with him, he's salty as fuck.

And hey, don't get me wrong. He knows better than to let it bubble over and affect whatever’s going down between you two. He wouldn't want to come off as controlling or toxic. Chase you away, just like the rest. But that doesn't mean he still won't let it be known, especially when it's all over his face.

Brows furrowed and lips pulled down into a frown. More curt than usual, and strangely, there's a lack of curse words rather than the normal “fuck” “shit” or “ass” flying from that motor mouth of his.

But sometimes, he thanks whoever above when it isn't something as trivial as homework or a job or anything else inanimate keeping your focus. When it's something reasonable, like a family member holding up your time, or a close friend, maybe even a teacher…

He thanked the heavens when it was another guy - someone who he was well within rights to scare off, a viable reason to release some of those jealous tendencies under the thin guise of, “The dude was looking at you like goddamn meat, (N/N).” or “Fuck him, the guy’s a shitfaced manwhore looking for his fifth girlfriend…”

To be honest, it's kind of why it's rare that you're ever the jealous one. Or rather, rare that he notices you being jealous. Not that he doesn't pay attention to you, of course that's not the case. But it's also not really something he considers, you being envious, because (and this is, once again, definitely him talking), “What the fuck would she have to be jealous about?”

It's actually kinda nice having him to act as scary dog privileges. And while maybe sometimes he might get a bit too antsy, you're lucky he likes- oh, I'm sorry, in his words, "respects" you enough to cool it whenever you advise him to. Not in a - dramatic, "Stop fighting, look at me, this isn't you🥺" - way (he'd probabaly laugh and actually physically move you out of his way if you ever did some shit like that💀✋🏽), but more in a - mildly vexed, "😒🙄Don't bother with that guy, it's not worth it..." pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing - kind of way (while he might still ignore this sometimes, at least it isn't pure cringe lmao).

And to be fair, he's right in the sense that he's rather loyal, whether either of you realize it or not. Again, it's not like he's purposely going out with the intentions to woo other folks, but from time to time, a girl or two won't shy away from ogling him and even being bold enough to approach (such as you did, but that's neither here nor there so it doesn't count lol😆).

And in these moments, kind of resemblant to Finney, you can't help but be a little taken aback yourself because… Who the fuck is this girl talking to right now? With you standing right there, no less! The disrespect and audacity of these hoes…

“Sorry, he's busy later and doesn't like talking to…*looking up and down* people… But I can take a message.” As if Vance ain't standing right behind you, putting his things away into his locker and pretending not to listen to this entire interaction💀✋🏽.

“Oh, well, maybe you could just give him my number for me? I'm Anne, by the way, so if you could just tell him to cal-”

“-Ooo, aaahhh, see… I would but, like I said; not much of a talker. Plus, he already has mine, so, sorry😬😆…”

And as you're nearly tugging Vance away, he's very alarmed at the sudden cattiness you've displayed seemingly unprovoked.

“...The fuck was that?!”

“Nothing.”

“That wasn’t nothing, you were mean as fuck back there…!”

And once he clocks that jealousy in you, omg he doesn't know HOW to feel lmao😭. It's like this odd mixture of annoyance, pride, and adoration is suddenly coursing through him, and all he can do is laugh because “What the hell…”

I feel like, after maybe a few more interactions like this, plus some more close proximity, it wouldn't be long before he started trying to pull away. Not because he dislikes you, quite the contrary. Bro’s just,,, scared, really. He doesn't quite have a grasp on these feelings he has for you, and you don't seem to mind, but you're also not giving him the clearest insight either. Not to mention his past and what he's previously been through…

To sum it up, I think this could lead to the classics we all know and love. He pushes away, you persist and maybe even get a little too forceful for his liking, he snaps, it hurts your feelings or whatever, he (in an attempt to salvage what he's about to lose) angrily confesses, you hit him with the, “You're so stupid, omg🙄😽…” And tell him you've felt the same way all along, ya smooch, the end.

Y'all are now the new power couple in school, and anyone who doesn't like it can suck shit (once again, probably his words🤭💀).

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬😽✨️!!

again, I wish tumblr provided a yellow color font, cuz that's what I would use for him, so unfortunately, I had to just bold his name/dialogue, but oh wellll💛🪩🙃.

next up is bruce !!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :

@in3rci4

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :

1,896 words

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

[moon-ttokki-x]

Hey, how are you? May I ask for stray kids 9th member being a poliglot?

this was a cool request, ngl . . . i didn't do a traditional fic bc i like this format a lot, and plus, it's cuter that way >< also can we just appreciate the pretty purple theme guys

skz x 9th member!reader who can speak multiple languages

pairing: ot8!skz x 9th member polyglot!reader

summary: skz with a 9th member who is a polyglot.

genre: extremely fluffy, very cute stuff, pretty soft, some member x reader stuff, chaotic skz, naughty minho and maknaes, leader chan agenda, romantic hyune, reader who can read, write, and speak multiple different languages

a/n: interesting request . . . divider by @chachachannah

skz masterlist

Chan who wants you to teach him how to say lovely little phrases like 'i love you' and 'you are the light of my life' in different languages, asking you cutely with the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face. He goes around saying them to the other members, who don't understand what language he's talking in, and ignore him. But it doesn't matter, because now he feels like he has a little part of you with him wherever he goes. Is always fascinated as he watches you change languages in the blink of an eye. Makes a sweet sentence in one of your languages his bubble caption.

Minho who, on the other hand, asks you to teach him the dirtiest, filthiest phrases you can think of. They're too graphic to be put here, but some of the milder phrases include 'fuck you' and 'i hope you swallow spiders in your sleep'. Like Chan, he also goes around telling the members these sentences and grins the biggest you've ever seen because now he can swear without being caught. Sometimes does it on stage too, but really quietly just in case there's a couple Stays who actually understand what he's saying.

Changbin who watches in awe as you seamlessly transition between being on the phone, writing things down, and chatting with someone all at once while swapping languages. His head hurts after and he watches you quietly as you go about your usual business, not quite understanding how you do it. He learnt English with some a lot of difficulty, so he's stupefied by the fact that you've learnt not one but multiple languages, and can speak them all fluently. Always asking what you said after you switch back to a language he can understand.

Hyunjin who thinks up the cutest, sweetest, most romantic phrases on a whim, and after he asks how to say them in a language. So you tell him, thinking he's just curious. A few weeks later, you find a painting in your bedroom, a vase of your birth flowers and one of the phrases painted delicately in black across the bottom. He always asks what certain words mean, and asks you to translate random sentences. Has the biggest shine in his eyes as you sit down with him and tell him what all of the words mean, and how to say them. Stumbles through pronunciation but it's cute, so you kiss him as a reward.

Han who also asks what certain words mean, but more often than not, has a translating app open on his phone so he can find out for himself. Spends hours in secret trying to learn sentences by himself, and records himself saying the lines so he can check if he's saying them correctly. Like Changbin, is fascinated when you can switch languages just like that. Once said a rude phrase in front of his hyungs and got scolded because Chan actually understood what it meant (somehow). Got sentenced to 25 pushups as a punishment and never did it again.

Felix who buys workbooks and installs language-learning apps in a bid to try and communicate with you in your languages. Ends up spending over $400 just to spend hours upon hours studying them, much like he did when he was learning Korean. Doesn't notice when you sit down next to him and stroke his hair, he's so focused on learning your languages. Wants to communicate with you in every way he can. Refuses to talk to you in Korean or English until he gets fluent in at least two of your languages, and asks for kisses and hugs when he understands what you're saying to him.

Seungmin who sits in quiet fascination as you write in one language and talk on the phone in another. Isn't as forward in telling you that he wants to learn some of your languages, but definitely goes online and does his own research. Likes looking up the origins of each language and how the words were formed. Finds himself repeating little phrases he'd caught you saying that morning or the night before. Will never admit that he finds it fascinating that you can talk, read, and write in different languages, but nods and listens when you tell him all about it anyway, admiring the passion in your eyes with a warm heart.

Jeongin who learns weird phrases to catch you off guard, because he loves the speechless look on your face when you hear them. Is too shy to ask you outright to teach him your languages but also does research so he can learn himself. Recites off lines to the members and forces them to sit and listen so he can say them to you without messing up. Ends up wasting a lot of practice time, but he doesn't really care. Learns to write keywords and cute little sentences, and writes them in the margins of your notebooks to surprise you. Doodles love hearts and stars around each phrase.

a/n: very cute

[always-just-red]

Hi! Hope you're having a good day!

Just found your blog yesterday and read Onychinus' Finest. I've been STARVED of Kieran and Luke fics, not enough people appreciate them, so I come with a request! (Most of what I'll say is totally optional. I believe in the author's creative vision overall so if something doesn't fit feel free to change and adapt whatever you'd like.)

Either hunter or assassin MC, where they're at a mission, and they're ambushed. One of the twins gets hurt protecting her, maybe even taken, and she just goes on a rampage to get him back. They've never quite seen her so protective and yet so vengeful. She might go by herself? When Sylus wants to plan ahead properly since his own miscalculations lead them to get attacked in the first place. The twins are loyal to him, the other brother won't go without his permission despise his brother being missing or hurt. I'm just picturing her finding a broken mask, half of it missing (she's never seen their faces before.)

Happy ending. 🥺 Just fluffy you know? I want the twins melting into her, one with gratitude for finding his brother and the other just with disbelief and affection that she's do all this for him.

Special mention to any heads on her lap like overgrown puppies, just holding her close. They're sweet boys I think, especially if their guard and masks are finally down.

You can take this as platonic or romantic, she could be with Sylus and still have grown to really care and look out for the twins, or she could love them. (I don't know which ones angstier)

Thank you for even considering this even if you decide it's not worth your time!

AAAAAAA HEY!! You had such a vision for this and it was so fun to work with-- I hope it's everything you imagined! You've always been so so so supportive and kind, so I low-key went all-out on this, that's half the reason it took so long. 😭😭 Think this is my longest fic so far oh my gosh? Love it though, all the action scenes took me RIGHT back to my Assassin's Creed fanfic writing days haha Anyway! This is set in the same canon as the last fic because I loved that dynamic ngl. Not a direct sequel though!

Beneath The Mask

Luke and Kieran x Reader 🎭

Summary: Sylus and Kieran are useless, as always, so you take matters into your own hands

Genre: angst + fluff + ACTION!! *karate chops*

Warnings/Additional tags: f!reader, nonMC!reader, platonic Sylus x reader, swearing, descriptions of violence, injury, broken bones, killing (don't @ reader, she wants her man back!!), but also some humour 😌

| Word count: 4.6k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Sometimes, you think you’re the only member of Onychinus who isn’t completely out of their mind.

You’d think it was Sylus, your indomitable leader. Smiles-with-a-knife-at-his-throat Sylus. Has-the-situation-completely-in-hand Sylus. It used to inspire you: that crimson gaze of his, always alight with a fire that’s never, ever, quite out of control.

How does he do it? You’d wonder in awe, like a wide-eyed child enthralled by a magic trick.

How does he do it? You’re wiser, now. You know it’s a lie, now, but you still can’t see through it. It’s driving you mad.

You watch as the man works away at a large, glass monitor, his fingers gliding across the screen with their usual grace. You get glimpses: names, faces, contacts. He’s testing the cords of his network— an intricate web— and he’s hoping someone’s caught something he can sink his teeth into.

He’s been at this for two hours, ever since you dragged yourselves back here with your tails between your legs. There’s a gash on his forehead that hasn’t yet healed, and the blood is still drying, dark on his face. Has he thought to heal it? Or— there’s a smudge on his finger— does he like his guilt a little warmer to the touch?

“We need an order, boss,” you seethe, because you’re tired of standing beside him, unacknowledged.

“You have your order.” He types out a message. Dismisses another. “Wait.”

“I meant an order that isn’t complete bullshit.”

He shoots you a glance, his eyes embers of warning. “Careful, sweetie. You forget yourself.”

Your fists ball. “Oh, spare me.”

“What would you have me do?” he mutters, gaze returning to the screen. He isn’t rising to the challenge, or should you say— stooping to it. He’s so goddamn noble.

“They have Luke, Sylus.”

“I know.”

“So let’s fucking do something! Let’s go back, let’s get him. They caught us off-guard last time, that’s all. They got their hands on some Ever tech, so what? We know that, now. They don’t stand a chance if we just—”

“Charge in there, guns blazing?” Sylus finishes for you, lips curled in derision.

It sounds stupid out loud, and he wants you to hear it. You do; you don’t care. “We don’t need all of this,” you beseech, your hand waving over the monitor. “We have you, boss.”

“Me?” he chuckles, and it’s so, so bitter.

Is that the guilt you’ve been looking for? It isn’t enough. His eyes are still pools of calm— spilt blood, unreciprocated. How does he do it?

“We have to do something,” you say limply. “Please, I can’t… I can’t do this, Sylus. All this nothing. Tell me what to do. I’ll go back alone if I have to. Just say the word and I’ll—”

“Look at this,” he interrupts, stepping away from the screen so that you can take his place before it.

It’s an order, even if it isn’t the one you want. You roll your eyes as you obey, and you begin to scour the intel he’s gathered. Eyewitness accounts, rumours, surveillance footage— some courtesy of Mephisto— and it’s all centred around two things. One: the aspiring new gang you’d set out to dismantle earlier, and two: a link to Ever. A solid link to Ever. 

“They didn’t steal Ever’s tech,” you release on a sigh of understanding. “They’re working together.”

“Mmm.” Sylus’s hand clears the screen before you. “We should have known. I should have known.”

Your mind is so caught-up by the revelation that you almost miss the confession.

“This was my mistake,” he continues, watching you. “And you are all my responsibility. Believe me…” He taps the screen and live surveillance footage springs up: an outside view of the compound you’d raided earlier. “I want to burn that place to the ground as much as you do.”

But… “No collateral damage,” you murmur, eyeing the guards on patrol.

“No collateral damage,” Sylus nods. “Do you trust me?”

“I trust you, boss.”

And maybe he is burning with just as much anger. Maybe the fear is making his heart drum, and the guilt making his skin crawl. It’s the same, old trick, isn’t it? Done to death:

The mask without a mask— just where does he hide all that?

Maybe he doesn’t.

There’s only so much faith you can have in something you can’t see.

…

Clink.

You slot a bullet into the magazine of your pistol, then follow it up with another. Clink. Then another. Clink. You’ve never relished this quiet— not like Sylus does. To him it’s an art. To you: a chore. You glance about the armoury, and you’ve never resented your shelves of options quite like this before. Antiques. Prototypes. So many means of dealing death.

You’ve never seen the beauty in it, but a shot through the heart means something different to Sylus than it does to the rest of you. It can be intimate. Symbolic. He can die for something, someone, and he can do it over, and over, and over again. How poetic.

You holster your loaded weapon, then reach for another.

“What’re you doing?”

The voice makes you jump. “Gods, Kieran. You want a bullet through your head?”

“No.” He misses the meaning of your words. “Why— wanna shoot me?”

“Right now?” you ask cynically.  

He laughs like he hasn’t got a care in the world. Liar. You’ve finished loading the second gun so you slide it across the table to him wordlessly. The beak of his mask lowers as he regards it; he doesn’t pick it up.

“You’re being weird,” he says after a moment. “It’s cool. I like it.”

You roll your eyes, wandering over to a rack of weapon attachments. There are different sights. Silencers. (Is that how you want to play this? Quiet?) “I’m going back for Luke,” you state as you muse it over. “You want in, or not?”

The rest is implied: Sylus doesn’t know. He isn’t coming. All of that’s evident from the fact that you’re here, rifling through his precious collection, and not ensnared in the tendrils of his Evol somewhere. A toddler could connect the dots. Kieran will get there. Give him a minute.

It takes half a minute. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. An ambiguous apology.

“It’s fine, Kieran.” He was never going to come with you. “I can do this alone. I can—”

A weight lands on you, tackling you into the weapons rack, and you land on the floor amongst the attachments you’d just been perusing so calmly. The weight stays on you, pinning you: hands are on your wrists, twisting you around. “Kieran!” you protest.

The man pulls away, leaving you slumped in your new, uncomfortable seat.

“Wha—” You try to stand up but you’re jolted back; your wrist is fixed to something. You turn your head, eyes widening as they fall on the pair of handcuffs you’ve been restrained with. They’re padded— lined with a soft, velvety material. “Where the hell did you get these?”

“Boss’s room. Luke and I had a bet,” Kieran shrugs, now towering over you.

“You win?”

“Heh. Yeah.”

You’re still trying to squeeze your hand out of the cuffs. You pry at them. Twist and wriggle your fingers— none of it’s any use. You glance up at Kieran, admitting defeat with a sigh. He brushes his hands together in a ‘job well done’ sort of gesture, his eyes fixed on you, well— you have to imagine they are.

Instead of windows to the soul you’re faced with red-glass imitations, impossible to read, and you’re tired of all the guessing.  

“How do you do it?” you ask with a quiet desperation. “How do you act like everything’s fine?”

“Boss will come up with a plan,” the twin says simply, like he hasn’t really thought about it.

“And what if it takes too long? What if we’re too late? I mean… think of all the shit he knows, Kieran. Everything about us, about boss— it’s priceless. Do you really think they’re holding back?”

Kieran huffs. “You worried he’ll snitch or something?”

“I’m worried they’re hurting him!” you snap. “What the hell is wrong with you!? He’s your brother! He could be dead and you’re acting like, like..”

Your voice trails off as you gaze up at him hopelessly. There’s nothing to see— no tension in his body, no harsher rise and fall to his chest, betraying a nervous, racing heart. All the usual signs are missing. He isn’t shifting on his feet like he does when he’s anxious. Is he that good at pretending, or…

Does he really not care?

You shake your head, looking down at the floor; you’re so sick of red eyes. He’s crazy. Sylus is crazy.

There’s nothing for it, then.

“You know what?” you chuckle dryly, under your breath. “Maybe you’re right. This isn’t all bad, I mean… when’s the last time you and I had any one-to-one time, huh?”

Kieran is silent. He lowers himself slowly until he’s crouched before you— forearms resting on his knees. His head tilts inquisitively: Go on.

“Maybe,” you lilt, “this is an opportunity.” You’re practically whispering, and the man leans in, not wanting to miss a word. Your free hand reaches for a horn of his hood and you use it to pull him closer; he doesn’t even resist. “How about we…” you speak into his ear, “go look through Luke’s stuff?”

Kieran draws back, those false eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes you think, for a second, that you’ve gone too far.

“You’re the best,” he breathes out, suddenly fiddling with the handcuffs, slotting the key into the lock. “Just… the absolute best.”  

Got him.

The cuff springs open and you’re on top of him, tackling him to the ground and pinning his arms by the side of his head before he can think to stop you. “Oh,” he grumbles, going still beneath you, and it sounds like his eyes are narrowing, “you’re not the best. You’re sneaky.”

His compliance lasts all of a second, and then he’s fighting back— using his strength to throw you off balance and wrench his wrists free. He rolls on top of you, trapping you just as effectively as you’d done him, and he laughs like a child, having ever so much fun.

With a grunt of effort, you manage to push him aside. You turn onto your stomach, scrabbling away as you look for space, opportunity, and— if you’re being honest— something you can throw at him. A hand connects with your shoulder and you thrust your elbow backwards on instinct. It hits something hard.

“Ah, shit! Wait, wait, wait… time out.”

You freeze instantly.

Kieran’s voice is different; it’s acquired a clarity that tells you his mask his away from his face. Don’t move. You stare down at the floor with a patience that’s almost sacred. He’s taking a while, though…

“You ok?” you ask.

“Yeah.” His voice is different again, like he’s holding his nose. “Nosebleed.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s cool.”

You sit up with your legs crossed while you wait, but your eyes are still trained downwards. You can hear Kieran’s breath, a little ways behind you— so much clearer without the mask— and the intimacy is always sobering. Realising he’s vulnerable, knowable, and all you have to do is turn around. 

He doesn’t rush, though: doesn’t scramble to pull the mask back down, or insist you keep looking away. The silence, the stillness— all of it is trust.

There’s movement in the corner of your eye; he’s set the mask down on the ground while he bleeds.

“I’m worried too,” he admits softly, and you’re not sure what’s more foreign: his voice, unhindered, or the honesty it carries. You don’t want to scare either away, so you do nothing. There’s more: “I can’t leave boss, though. Who else has he got?”

“The hunter?”

“Nah,” he dismisses. “She’s hot stuff, y’know? A lot of players in that game.” He taps at his mask idly. “Heard one of them’s a doctor.”

You’re quiet again. Thinking.

“Boss always has our back,” Kieran asserts. “We have to look out for him too… That’s the job, right?”

He’s not really asking you; you came to this late, after all. It was their job long before it was yours.

You’ve nothing to do but look at your hands and listen, biding your time. The passing seconds are still restless, useless, but the sensation slips when you feel hands on your waist, pulling you back. Kieran’s arms wrap around you. His chin settles on your shoulder, and you close your eyes.

“Stay,” he says. “Please?”

His pain is harder to sit with than your own. Minutes ago, this was something you wanted. Now it’s just another wound you don’t know how to stitch up; too deep, too late.

You let your head rest against his, but you don’t say a word.

…

This was easier when you were relying on Mephisto’s guidance and not hazy, disjointed memories. The last time you were here you were running, Kieran at your side and Sylus not far ahead. You weren’t thinking about what corners you turned or what directions you travelled; you were thinking about everything behind you. Shouts. Gunshots. The subtler rush of your leader’s Evol, still crackling, still faltering, courtesy of whatever technology your attackers had managed to appropriate.

It all happened so quickly.

Every corridor feels longer, now. Each moment— slow. Your body is aching. You’ve lost count of how many encounters you’ve had, but there’s a new bruise or scrape for every body in your wake. None of it has been easy. You ran out of bullets just getting inside this damn place, and the rest has been messier: up-close and personal.

You’re catching your breath, so you toe the rifle of your last adversary, lying a short way from their limp, open hand. They never got a chance to use it, and you were lucky; it would have been loud. Every guard in this run-down labyrinth is looking for you. The last thing you need is to send out a homing beacon.

Glance around. Try to work out your bearings.

This was once a police station. Old-world. Eroded beyond recognition, almost. These places were the first to fall victim to the backwards evolution of the N109 Zone. The bones are the same, but the skin is different. Every wall is scrawled with anti-Association sentiments.

It makes you smile, despite everything.

Your footsteps are deliberately quiet as you carry on down the corridor, turning into the next room— you’ve been tackling them one-by-one. There’s a narrower corridor before the room opens out, and then…

Cells.

A short line of them— five in total. Your heart wants to beat faster with hope, but your mind is holding it back: insisting this is wrong. It seems abandoned. Forgotten. You walk by the first cell, and then the second. Nothing. The third. Nothing.

There’s a sound behind you, and you almost don’t hear it. You spin, only to find a hand wrapped around your throat, tight and unforgiving. A guard thrusts you up against the red-brick column that divides two cells, and you’d cry out in pain, but there’s no breath to carry it. Your eyes water. You try to prise the hand away, and it’s desperation that possesses you— not skill or experience.

You kick out and hit nothing, but the second time, you catch the man’s shin. He shouts, his grip failing just enough for you to slip your fingers beneath his. A few seconds of advantage. You grasp his wrist, using your other hand to wrench his forefinger backwards— crack. He staggers with a cry and then you’re dodging his frenzied attempts to recapture you: weaving behind him, seizing the back of his neck. Your foot trips his. He’s teetering, off-balance, and you use the momentum to crash his head against a bar of the cell.

Metal rings out. Flesh splits.

The guard crumples at your feet and you almost go down with him. Your lungs are pulling for so much air that it makes your throat sting. Adrenaline laps your limbs, celebrating in sheer, ecstatic disbelief; you’re alive.

Someone wolf-whistles and you swear you feel everything stop.

Your gaze shoots up, lit by hope, but it’s quickly snuffed out. A young man is watching you from the fourth cell, his arms threaded through the bars. There’s a shameless grin as his eyes flit over you. All of you.

“Fuck off,” you sneer as you step over the guard. You turn to leave.

“Rude.”

Your eyes go wide. You spin back. “Luke?”

The man cocks his head like you’ve asked a trick question. “... Yeah?” It takes a drawn-out moment of you staring at him, motionless, for him to recognise your confusion. “Oh, right. Here—” he draws up his hood and the horns are missing, so he emulates them with pointed fingers— “this help?”

You lunge forwards, trapping him in a hug through the bars of his cell; you barely notice the separation. He chuckles as he hugs you back: “Miss me?”

“Yeah,” you exhale in relief, even though he was definitely setting you up for a joke. You break away from him, forcing yourself to look at anything but his face. Gods, his face. Pretend you don’t already want to look again. “Are you hurt?” you ask. “Did they—”

“Nope!” he interrupts with what sounds like a smile. “I told them everything.”

You glance up; you can’t help it.

He winks at you. “I lied. Glad you got here before they figured that out, though. Sheesh, that would not have been fun.” His hands wrap around the bars. “Can you get me out of here?” He tugs at them. “Pleeease?”

Right. “Yeah.” You glance around. You just need to find the—

“Key’s with the dead guy,” Luke says. “What a jerk, huh?”

It still feels like there are hands on your throat. “Totally.” You wander over to the body, bending down to rummage through the man’s pockets. After a brief search, you produce the key.

Luke slow claps. “My hero.”

You laugh softly as you return to the cell, unlocking the door and pushing it open. The twin strides through, giving a little bow as he passes, then stretches his arms like he’s just been set free from a much smaller cage.

“So…” He speaks in a sing-song sort of voice, sniffing the air like it’s sweeter. “Where’re boss and Kieran?”

“Um. Home?”

Luke narrows his eyes at you— vaguely resembling the slits of his missing mask. “You went rogue?”

You wince. “I did go rogue.”

You’re still being studied warily. Luke has raised an eyebrow and it’s so starkly expressive; is this a look he gives you often? You have a feeling it is. Then he shrugs and it’s gone. “That’s hot,” he quips. He crouches down beside the dead guard, lifting the body and puppeteering one of the arms to wave at you. “Look— this is gonna be you when boss finds out.”

You cross your arms. Luke laughs, dropping the man back down with a thud. “Just you and me then?” he clarifies, holding a hand out to you.

Are you supposed to know what to do with it? “You and me,” you confirm. Your hand goes out too.  

Luke slaps it gently one way, then another. He entangles your fingers. Pulls back. Does a few more slaps in sporadic directions, and— is this a secret handshake? You don’t have a secret handshake.

“Nice,” he beams once the ritual is complete. “Let’s go, let's go!”

…

Luke is hanging close to the wall across from you, waiting— listening— as you both brace yourselves behind the turn of yet another corridor of the rival base. He sneaks glances around the corner.

“Anyone there?” you whisper.

He shakes his head, but he doesn’t look at you. He doesn’t press on, either, because it’s odd; you’d both thought you’d heard something. This isn’t your usual strategy— playing it safe. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Luke err on the side of caution, but he’s concentrating, even closing his eyes so he can listen harder.

You take advantage of the moment in a way you shouldn’t: letting your gaze linger on his face. Even with his hood up— shadows lowered like a veil— he’s still a stranger to you. You want to know him; you know him already. He’s been smiling at your jokes forever, but tell him one now, and it’ll be the first time.

His eyes open, meeting yours. Could he sense you watching? He grins, poking his tongue out at you.

“Stop it.”

“You stop it,” he retorts. The coast must be clear, for he comes away from the wall and rounds the corner with a spring in his gait.

You sigh as you stand to follow him. One less-enthusiastic step forward, and something snakes around your ankle. Your gaze drops like a stone, but it isn’t fast enough. You’re hauled into the air, voice failing, vision swimming as the world flips upside-down and you’re strung up from the ceiling. “Luke!” you manage in warning.

Are those his footsteps, coming back? You’re facing the wrong way and you try to lift the lower half of your body so you can reach for your ankle, but you’re already exhausted. Your muscles burn. After a few, futile inches, you give up, going limp.

There are footsteps behind you. “Oh, hey boss!” Luke exclaims.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

An unwitting pendulum: you can’t keep your body from turning, ever so slowly, until you’re staring the right way down the corridor. You can’t see much of it, though.

Sylus is in front of you, so close that you can almost feel the heat of his eyes.

“Hey, boss,” you echo reluctantly.

He says nothing, and behind him, Luke slides a gloating finger across his own throat: you’re dead! And you’re turning, still. Sylus lifts a hand to the top of your head and swivels you back to him. “What happened to that trust of yours, sweetie? Hmm?”

You half-laugh, nervous. He doesn’t seem quite as amused.

Releasing your head, he steps back with a huff of disappointment as you start a slow rotation once more. He taps a finger to his chin pensively, like you’re a masterpiece he’s convinced might be a forgery, now that he’s looking more closely. “Reckless little thing, aren’t you?” he tuts.

There’s maybe a smile, but it’s short-lived; the dark rope around your ankle whips you into the air. You shriek with shock as you lose all bearings, all vision, all sense of reality. You’re falling.

Someone catches you.

“My reckless little thing,” Luke grins, jostling you into a more secure position in his arms. “Mine.”

You want to protest, but your breath is gone.

“You can’t afford her,” Sylus speaks over his shoulder; he’s already taken the lead in guiding you out of here. Mephisto squawks somewhere up ahead, appearing in a cloud of smoke and feathers.

Luke gives a defensive hmph as he holds you tighter. Then he smiles down at you, and though it’s new, you know it’s far from the first time, and even further from the last.

…

“Are we really doing this?” you ask Sylus sceptically.

“Lighten up, sweetie.” He clicks his fingers.

Not far from you, currently oblivious to your presence, Kieran stands at the door of your leader’s study, still waiting for an order. The air above him changes: it swirls with a dark, scarlet mist. Luke drops out of it, landing straight on his twin’s back.

“What the—” Kieran splutters, but his brother’s arms are over his shoulders, around his neck. “Get off!” he squeaks out.

“No way. I was a prisoner,” Luke chortles. “You have to be super nice to me. Carry me everywhere. Boss said so.”

“He did not!”

And with those words, Kieran flips his other half the rest of the way over his shoulder; Luke lands on the ground with an unceremonious splat. All four limbs are sprawled. “Ow!” he whines.

Sylus has already strode the rest of the way into the room. “Play nice,” he scolds as he steps over Luke, then passes by Kieran.

“Yes, boss!” they chime, stilling obediently as the older man disappears into his study. The moment the doors close behind him, Kieran throws himself down. He wrestles with Luke, both of them laughing and rolling around as they try to hurt each-other.

It makes you think of those old, vintage cartoons you used to see on TV. You can just picture the cloud of dust, the colourful stars and shapes flying with every traded punch. Idiots.

You leave them to it, slinging yourself down on a couch and closing your eyes. Gods, you want to sleep. There’s blood dried to your hands and face, but you’ll shower later. There are grazes and cuts still bleeding, but you’ll tend to them later. Everything can wait.

The room has gone quiet. Too quiet; you open your eyes.

Luke and Kieran stand in front of you ominously, their figures symmetrical. The illusion of reflection is broken by Luke’s absent mask, but his eyes are just as unreadable.

“What?” you cave.

“You went rogue,” Kieran states, and his brother is nodding gravely, like this is a very serious infraction.

You smile. “I did go rogue.” More shameless than last time. “I got a free pass, though. Luke said it was hot.”

Kieran’s mask turns to face his twin, slow and resentful. Luke shrugs. “What? It was.”

There’s an impasse: long enough to make you think they’re having some kind of secret discussion. Both twins look at you. You smile sheepishly. You don’t think you’ll ever really know the entirety of what goes on in those heads, but it’s for the best. You value your sanity.

“You went rogue,” Kieran carries on, as if his speech had never been interrupted, and his authority not just completely undercut. He moves closer, slinking down beside you, and Luke plays the part of his mirror image. “There will have to be a… punishment.”

The word is elongated for effect, and it’s remarkably similar to Kieran’s ‘ghost voice’— which you know, thanks to the time he roped you into that ‘the base is haunted!’ prank. (Sylus did not, in fact, fall for it.)

“Bring it,” you murmur, closing your eyes again. “I just stormed a whole enemy base single-handed. I think I can handle the two of—”

Your voice meanders to a stop as Kieran nuzzles against you. His mask is off; you feel the soft of his face and the bridge of his nose. His breath is light on your neck. You smile, slipping deeper into your seat and then his embrace as his arms go around you. He’s warm. Really warm.

There’s a weight— Luke’s head on your lap— and he hugs you too, arms lower around your waist. His breath tickles your stomach. You hum in contentment, running your hands through his hair. 

He's safe. You're all safe.

They were never going to say thank you; it’s not in their nature. Their language isn't superficial. It isn’t words spoken aloud or feelings worn on the face— it can’t be. A smile is too easily read by the rest of the world, but a smile behind a mask? It’s private. Reserved only for those who’ve learnt to hear it in your voice, or see it in the way your body relaxes when you hold someone you care for.

A language of tiny, intimate details.

Kieran has never nestled his face quite so closely against you. You don’t think you’ve ever known Luke go so long without talking.

[gay-dorito-dust]

May I ask for the batboys reaction to their BFF that they have a crush on saying “EWW, gross, he’s like my brother”, in response to someone saying that they’d make a cute couple?

Welp confession is off the table if that’s how you see them ngl.

Dick tries to take it in stride but is hiding the fact that he’s having to come to terms that his best friend and his crush only sees him as a brother figure. Yikes. That’s worse than being friend zoned, you might as well have stabbed him and it would’ve hurt a lot less than being considered a brother.

Dick will act like he isn’t affected but if you were to squint you can see that his smile wasn’t genuine and his eyes didn’t twinkle like they normally did, but even if you were to call him out on it he’ll only laugh and discard your concerns with a vague answer.

He hated hiding this from you but he knew there was no way he could ever confess, no way in fucking he’ll could he confess when you’ve made your stance clear as day, even if he wishes it was a bad joke or a dream that he’ll inevitably wake up from. He’ll think that he’s accepted his fate but every time he looks at you smiling or leaning against his side, he’ll be reminded that he was just lying to himself, much like he’s been lying to you about feeling absolutely nothing romantic towards you.

He’ll live his life living a lie if it means that you’ll never know how he truly feels, even if it hurts or until he finds someone else to love, knowing deep down he’ll never love another as deeply as he did you.

Jason felt as though he had died. Again.

He’s unsettlingly silent after the whole thing and would answer you in short or dry responses so often they you just decided that talking wasn’t what he wanted to do right now. He was processing the fact that there will most likely not be a reality where you two end up together if this is how you saw him in each one.

He will most probably put some distance between the two of you as a result of this, so don’t be surprised when you hear nothing from Jason for weeks on end. He’s just trying to figure out what to do now because he was planning to confess, but you saying he’s nothing more to you than a brother kinda made that plan backfire in his face.

Jason knows that feelings aren’t easily discarded as much as he would love them to be but he couldn’t force you to feel the same as him and so he’ll have to accept that you were still in his life, even if it’s not going to be his partner. After all he just wanted you to be happy even if that happiness may not lie with him.

Tim quickly throws away any and all plans of confessing to you early quick because if you only see him as a brother figure, then he’ll see that confessing will only make things weirder between the two of you.

He’s trying to think how your friendship can continue when there was a one sided infatuation on his end because as far as he was aware they tended to end badly and extremely messy. He didn’t want that to become of you two and thus he’ll probably chuckle awkwardly along with you, waving off the ladies suspicions of you two ever being a couple, even though it hurt his heart to do so.

It’ll be obvious that he’s hiding something from you but you weren’t going to say anything until he did, which mean even more pain shooting through poor Tim as he tries his hardest to act as though he’s not got a crush on you. However this tends to make him come across as stiff, awkward and a bit cold at times, and or he’ll bury himself into his vigilante work to the point where he doesn’t allow himself free time with you anymore.

That was the last time he’ll ever trust a stupid romance movie where the friends get together ever again.

Damian kinda saw this coming from the moment your whole body poetically recoiled at the thought of being with him romantically.

So needless to say that while expected that kind of response from you, it still hurt him nonetheless to know that his affections were reciprocated even in the slightest. Damian didn’t think he would ever allow his feelings to become out of his control but here he was, crushing on someone who’ll never see him in the same light assumably.

He hates it and despises it greatly but realises there’s nothing much he could do but accept your words as truth and not cross any boundaries. So don’t be surprised that Damian gets cold with you, well more cold than usual, he’s just nursing a broken heart and being in the presence of the person who had inadvertently broke it wasn’t his ideal day out.

[michaelswilliam]

lets talk about how byler will happen in ST5

mike will initiate it.

why? well, because will has given up on any chances that he might be with mike in season 4. i do believe that if byler is going to be endgame, it will be because of mike pursuing will.

will is not going to try to get with mike romantically, not when he thinks mike still loves eleven and vice versa. 12 year old will was really to kill himself to save the town that hated his guts, he is never gonna put himself before others, especially not someone who is now his sister and has saved his life.

if byler is happening, it will be because mike decides to make the first move.

i think the painting discussion will happen in episode 1, i think it will lead to mileven breaking up and both el and mike will connect the dots to will's feelings. next two episodes, mike's attention gonna stay on will as he tries to figure out his feelings for him.

maybe will comes out in between 1-3 episodes, this will affirm his sexuality to mike. i think in between those moments, when holly disappears and both of them are stuck in the circumstances with each other, there will be a heat of the moment, where mike tries to kiss will.

and maybe they get interrupted? or will tries to pull back because he just cannot comprehend that mike is actually returning his feelings, the feelings that will has made peace with himself to keep and do nothing about. oh i think it would be so angsty, i think there will be a lot of pining and yearning up until the last (two) episode. ngl i do think it will be dramatic, either will getting vecna-d or mike, and they confess their feelings to each other then. crazy together, right?

or maybe before the final battle? where both of them don't know if they will survive it? how mike will tell will that he chooses him. how their love isn't some coincidence, or god forbid, fate.

no, their love is the fruit of their will, their choice. mike will fight for this love, he is fighting for it, and both of them will not gonna die, because mike will bring his best friend, the love of his life, to the other end of the war. and they will spend the rest of their lives choosing each other, loving each other. oh and it's gonna be so sweet, and will gonna stand on his tippy toes and kisses mike. or maybe he will grab mike by the shoulders to pull him down, pull him closer and kisses him. and it's gonna be so, so beautiful. mike will hold will by the waist, lift him up until his feet barely touch the ground. it will be soft, but it also be hungry, and... desperate. because they don't want their first kiss to be their last, but if it does, they're gonna savor every moment, every touch. swallowing each other's breath.

and maybe either lucas or dustin will pull a harry potter and scream "OI, IS THIS REALLY THE TIME, WE HAVE A THREE-HEADED MONSTER COMING OUR WAY!!!"

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

We talk about how mischaracterized Hobie is - which he is - but I honestly think someone else is characterized REALLY weirdly by fandom

Miguel O'Hara and Misrepresentation of His Rage: a.k.a Miguel has Ken Energy you fools

[this is a breakdown where I examine Miguel's trauma, his relationship with Miles, his role in The Society, and his personality]

I talk a lot of shit about the Hobie tag, but the over-saturation of smut in the Miguel tag is at critical mass.

And like Latino-fetishization aside, I feel like he's not written as a human.

He's written so flat.

I swear ya'll be writing him as the angriest, coldest, most anti-social man on earth. Ya'll be having him rude and avoidant with no friends whatsoever or a romantic soft latin lover and NO IN BETWEEN

which is so funny cause like... I feel like Miguel is Just A Guy

I know they're easy to overlook but I think about moments like these all the time

But I ALWAYS see him written him as friendless, and cold, or constantly irritated and angry but like - I feel like most of the time Miguel is just some dude. Like in a Good Way.

And he's fine with that.

Miguel runs a Society Full of Spider-people, and they're working for him voluntarily. Peter Parkers wouldn't work for someone they didn't think was genuinely, good-likeable, and level-headed.

He compliments Lego-Spider-Man. When Hobie was there he wasn't pissed he was just like 'not in the mood rn ngl'

and Hobie didn't take the piss outta him - because I feel like him and Hobie have a mutal understanding/relaxed relationship. All throughout the movie Hobie isn't talking bad about Miguel in specific - he never says anything about Miguel being annoying or evil - he's always taking about The Society Miguel has made.

Even Hobie - who will openly talk bad about the PM, doesn't really feel the need to diss Miguel's character in specific. Which I find very interesting.

I think this, along with a couple other things shows that the way we view Miguel in fandom is not really how he is, like..when he's not going buckwild insane.

Miguel and His Role as Canon

I could see Miguel taking his role as boss very seriously - the same way he took being a father.

Miguel has assumed the role of 'leader' over these Spider-people. In his eyes, it's his job to lead these people through their canon events to the other side, for the safety of the universe, and for them to become the people fate says they're supposed to be.

Because he made the mistake of 'going against fate'. A lot of the time we say that Miguel's justification is 'because I suffered, you must too'. But in his eyes, it's more like 'I tried to run from who I was supposed to be and it blew up in my face. Please don't make the same mistake - it's not worth it.'

Quiet literally 'Do what you're supposed to do, and things won't fall apart around you.'

And I think that really says a lot about how he feels about his own choices, and his own daughter.

Miguel broke canon to be with his daughter, and because of that, she - and billions of others, died. And Miguel feels directly responsible for that. In his eyes, he killed his daughter and murdered billions of people.

And although he loves his daughter - he sees it as not worth it. He sees taking her father's place as a mistake.

To Miguel, canon events and the pain they cause are much more 'worth it' and 'tolerable', than the pain and guilt of killing an entire universe.

Because with canon events, there is no fault. It's not your fault you couldn't catch Gwen Stacy. It's not that you're not fast enough, it's that it's suppose to happen. It's not your fault.

But in Miguel's case - it was his fault. It wasn't suppose to happen.

That's why Miles sets him off in a way others don't and can't. Because he wasn't supposed to happen.

When things are under control, Miguel is fine. When things aren't, Miguel isn't.

Miguel needs order. He needs canon. Not because he likes it, but because he feels beaten into submission by it. He feels safe in the idea that canon events happen even if you do everything right, because he still feels the guilt of having done something 'wrong'.

That's why he sees letting people die in canon events as 'the right thing'.

It's the trolley problem.

A trolley is hurtling at someone you love, on the other track there are 5 people. Do you let the one you love die, or do you hit the switch and save them - and take the blame for killing five people?

What's the right thing to do? Save your captain father and letting a universe die? Or letting your father die, but the universe will for sure live.

Miguel has already made his choice, even if he didn't know it at the time. By becoming a father, Miguel hit the switch. And he chose his daughter at the expense of a universe. And he regrets that decision. He feels guilt, like he's to blame.

When canon events happen, there's no one to blame. When anomalies happen, there is.

Miles and Miguel

Miles and Miguel have an interesting and unique dynamic with each other, one that I haven't seen anyone mention yet.

When I look at Miles and Miguel, especially in this scene:

I kinda see Miguel and a past version of himself. Miguel trying to stop what he sees - as someone about to make the same mistake he did.

When Miguel met his daughter, he didn't know about it's threat to the multiverse. And although it might be described as the best time in Miguel's life, he regrets it. If he would go back, he would have rather let his daughter live. Fatherless, but at least she would have lived.

Miguel didn't know. But Miles does. And that's what makes Miguel so furious.

Miles is going to go against canon, be with his dad, and threaten the multiverse. And Miguel believes that if Miles does this, billions of people and beings across a universe will die. 100% totality rate, 100% assured.

Miles is in the same position as Miguel once was. Miles has the same choice. To choose the one he loves over canon.

The only difference is Miles knows. He has a chance.

Miguel believes that Miles can spare himself the pain, and the guilt of murdering billions - if he just listened to him.

Miguel is the only Spider-person who has ever killed a Spider-verse. And he doesn't want that for Miles.

Miles being an anomaly was one thing. He was ready to calmly talk about that. But when Miguel sees him going down the same road as he once did, making the same choice even though Miguel is telling him not to - it makes it snap.

Because if Miguel could go back, knowing what he knows - if Miguel could only be in Miles' place - he wouldn't. Like Rio said - Miguel would kill to be in his place.

He sees Miguel like how Rio describes herself, oddly enough. Rio says she'd kill to be in Miles place, and she doesn't understand his 'irresponsible' behavior. But unbeknownst to her - his 'irresponsible' behavior is more heroic than she can understand.

Miguel is just the same. He sees Miles' choice as irresponsible, that he's making all the wrong choices even though people are throwing opportunity at him.

Miles is the only other Spider-person to risk what Miguel risked. And, genuinely believing everyone will die because of this - he's furious at Miles, the same way he's still furious at himself. He loved his daughter, and he knows Miles loves it dad. But having been on the other side of it all, he sees it as not worth it.

Miguel wants to be the only Spider-man who is the way he is. He doesn't want to Miles to do what he did, become what he is. Because he knows theres no coming back from that.

If Miguel could go back and shake himself and scream in his face to leave Gabriella alone, to just leave her dimension alone, he would. But he can't.

So he does it to Miles.

Miguel as a Boss

I don't think Miguel is an outright mean or abrasive person. I feel like outside of Miles, he's fairly calm, albeit a bit stressed. I could see him being really organized and good at time management -

And I can see Miguel being good with people. I don't think he's the kinda boss that'd be like 'Oh, you had a canon event last night? Your girlfriend fell off a building? Yeah, we get that a lot, get over it.'

And if anything - I think he'd want to help the Spider-people when it comes to processing canon events.

Miguel believes that canon events are necessary, not just to the multiverse, but to the development of who Spider-people are 'supposed' to be. So I think he'd set up support systems around HQ to help them process it, and he'd at least be a bit understanding.

I could absolutely see Miguel as the type to ask a teammate "Are you alright?" after something intense, or telling them to sit out. I could see him giving generous leave for Spiders who are going through stuff.

By Jess's response, it seems as if he leaves most of that to her, but I feel like the fact he stops to tell Gwen "Don't worry, kid." shows that he's use to comforting people, or prioritizes putting people at ease.

I mean, what Spider-man doesn't?

Miguel does seem to get along with people (aside from Miles and Gwen when he's scolding her), and it seems like people do like Miguel.

Miguel's Personality

Tbh - I don't think he's nearly as angry as fandom makes him out to be.

He was raising a child. I imagine that for the most part, he's pretty patient.

Like if you call him a name, he's not gonna get pissed. I feel like he's more likely to be like "Haha. Very funny." Or just pinch his nose bridge and be like "You done?"

I mean I know with all the gnashing and clawing and yelling and going apeshit, it can be easy to imagine Miguel as JUST that.

But I also like to imagine that most of the time, he's just like that normal boss as Target.

And a lot of his day is spent doing boring mundane things.

He's not always standing there brooding over videos of him and his dead daughter. He only does that when he's psyching himself up to yell at Miles.

Outside of that, he probably has a lot more things to do, realistically speaking. Organizing missions, checking status reports, looking over intake forms of anomalies, okaying and vetoing different protocols. Approving new technology, taking complaints from members, dealing with Hobie (an extra job in its own right), fixing things MayDay breaks, etc, etc.

And he's completely fine with that. Maybe he even finds calmness in it. When there's order, and routine, and everyone is working together and there's no kinks in the hose per say, he can operate.

Like yeah he's a little irritated and looks like he only slept 4 hours - but he's here and he's going to work with his team and employees, make sure things run smoothly, and make sure everyone gets home safe.

He's gonna try and make the society a nice place to be and make sure people on the team (like Lego) feel appreciated and odd-one-outs like Hobie get to hang and do what they want without much kickback.

The other Spider-people - like Pavi - wouldn't have joined otherwise.

If Pavi had showed up and Miguel was all stern and cold and rude, he probably would've been like 'no thanks my friend'

Miguel knew Peter B. before he lost Gabriella. So he had to become friends with Peter some way. He was putting up with Peter and his humor by choice, and in return Peter must have found Miguel cool enough to hang out with.

I think it's because Miguel is good with people, a lot of different types of people.

He's pretty down to earth, even if he is a work-aholic. He can be fun to chill or hang out with, even if he's a bit of a tight-ass.

Sure his humor may be dry, and his personality tame, but he's just him.

But I can see him as being a guy who you see at the gym routinely and never say hi to but you just nod at each other in silent respect while doing your workouts sometime.

Or the dude at your job you only see at the coffee machine - you know he does other stuff, but you never run into him anywhere else.

Or the dude who'll stop on the street when you ask for the time and lift one earphone before telling you it, then walking away without another word.

DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN DO YOU GET THAT VIBE Like just Dude He's like a dad but not like a 'Dad vibe' with like sneakers or anything but like 'Dad who comes to PTA meeting but doesn't talk to anybody and quietly leaves when it's over'.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS VIBE It's giving Ken.

Anyways stop avoiding Miguel's Kenergy.

[iwasdear]

I'm coming in with another thought about Matsukawa cus he lives in a penthouse in my brain and bro is not moving out any time soon

he did not truely grasp how big his meat was until he lost his virginity

sure he's not dumb he knew it was definitely something but not until he got a girl in bed did he realize his shtick was built different

and lemme say that did more than just inflate his ego, he was a changed man

And doesn't just slang it all willy nilly and expect his size to do all the work, he learned the motion of the ocean and was a certified sex god from that point forward‼

Not just cocky for cockys sake, he promises a good time and sure as hell lays it tf down too😼

On a similar note can I ask how you think all the seijoh 4 first times went? when? how? what do you think?

oh i definitely fuck with this thought, anon. he's not cocky just because he can be cocky, but it's because he knows he can be cocky. matsukawa isn't like those annoying mfs that are cocky because they think they're the shit. he is the shit. after that encounter where he lost his virginity, he became a god and nobody could stop him no more.

now, here is how i think seijoh 4z first time went ( with reader ) ★

oikawa had his first time at a party. since he's very popular, he gets invited to parties often. i feel like he def had no idea as to what the fuck to do, but i mean, you're not bound to knows when it's your first time, right? he was really excited about it, though, and spoiler: he came really fast! we understand, king. hormones are everywhere, there's a rush that's hard to ignore, its a first time sensation, how could he hold back? he had a round two after that because he reached his own high, but reader didn't even get to enjoy theirs, and let me tell you. his second orgasm hit him ten times harder. i know this messed up with his ego so he's been participating in every no nut november like a loser because he says it will help him last longer (it really doesn't).

mattsun had a pretty decent first time with a date, and it went absolutely amazing for both of them. the amount of stamina this guy has is insane. they met on a dating app, both of their profiles specifying that they didn't want anything serious, much rather looking for a quick hook-up. it was then when matsukawa realized his cock was in fact not your average dick. the fact that his huge buddy could make someone cry in pain fascinated him. my guy has morals so he held back so reader could adjust but god was his ego over the roof. ever since then, mattsun proudly carries a weapon between his legs.

makki had his first time in a damn club HANDS DOWN. unlike oikawa, who had the commodity of a (strangers) bed, hanamaki went at it in a bathroom. oh yeah. ngl i feel like he's a sucker for head, so they went with that first! he loved it, btw. lasted quite long but not too long, iykwim. then he proceeded to fuck reader on the sink. some clubs tend to have full body mirrors and my gut is telling this mf had a second round but this time full view on said mirror. the ones above the sink weren't it for him. out of the 4, i personally think makki is the most experienced. he knew what he was doing the moment they walked into that bathroom. if you're wondering, they waited for it to empty out and locked the doors and didn't let anyone in for a good two hours, teehee.

this one may be a little too biased because i love iwaizumi a little too much, and in my eyes, he's a gentleman. unlike the other 3, iwa had his first time with someone he was in a stablished relationship with at the time. it was actually quite romantic and beautiful and SIKE. hajime had his first time in the lockers. stressed from dealing with oikawa and his annoying fangirls, mattsun and makki holding him back from beating the shit out of his best friend, and just built up stress from other things. he was over it. the stablished relationship part is true. he asked reader to meet in the lockers a little earlier than the time practice usually ends because he heard from others (mattsun) that sex was a good stress reliever. by the way, iwaizumi was the last to lose his virginity. the gentleman part was also true because despite being someone who doesn't speak his mind outloud, my man still had the courage to confidently ask reader if they could do the deed right there and then. tbh i feel like he likes his privacy, and i mean, anyone could walk in any second, so they both went with the showers. great experience if you ask him, but he would NOT do it in an open space like that ever again.

© iwasdear | more thoughts are welcome!

[nayatarot777]

how do they view you? • love/crush pick-a-card

i don’t do love readings usually (because they’re just usually not of interest to me) but i’m trying to soften my heart so here’s a lil something for you guys 😂

• pile one •

your person views you as someone who can be very verbally defensive or someone who can really hurt people with their words. the things that you say could be very harsh or damaging. i’m also seeing that they may view you as argumentative, whether this energy is directed towards them or other people. they do view you as very unattainable to them - perhaps because of all of this energy - but they also see you as extremely intuitive and psychic. you know things that not just anyone could see or know. they also feel like you’re quick to speak up for yourself when you realise that some bs is going on. and i feel like they recognise that situations that someone is trying to bully you in or play you in some way are the situations when you can get very vicious with your words. you’re quiet and perceptive for the most part until you need to defend yourself. there’s another card about you having very strong boundaries and being defensive - again, whether this is just with them or other people. this plays into the viewpoint of you being unattainable for them. you don’t play about your energy so when someone fucks with your energy you’re quick to put them back in their place and put up boundaries between the two of you. they view you as someone who doesn’t play around. i’m living for your energy, pile one, i’m ngl 😂. dark feminine energy to the fullest 👏🏾

this person might not know how to feel about you. they have multiple feelings about you that they can’t really make sense of. they also view you as someone who has many options in your love life. like you could have anyone that you want. and that’s probably from your high standards and your boundaries. because they know that you know this already. they view you as someone who’s emotions mix with their logic. they believe that if it doesn’t make sense for you to love someone - you won’t. it’s as simple as that. i feel like you guys aren’t the people who can easily be played because you won’t allow yourself to be played again and again by the same person. you have too much awareness of your worth and what you’re deserving of for that bullshit. they feel like you’re quick to cut off people who you’re romantically involved with if they try to play games with you. you’re not one of those people who settle for less than what you know you’re deserving of. you’re extremely loving. but you’re not a fool with your love. you rationally think about where and who you should direct it to. who deserves it and who doesn’t. so whoever’s coming towards you needs to come correct. periodddd 💅🏾

i love this 🤭

find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon

• pile two •

your person views you as extremely self-sufficient. self-sufficient in terms of your finances, physical stability, and/or your self esteem. they don’t view you as someone who relies on another person for anything that you know you can give to yourself. and even if you feel like you can’t give something to yourself in the current moment, you will find a way to get it for yourself. you could definitely be in a relationship with this person already. if so, then they feel like you’ve helped them to build a really successful life with you. you’ve made it easy to create a happy life, a happy home, and/or a happy family. for those of you who haven’t done those things with this person, then they view you as someone who they could have a really good relationship with. because they believe that you’re very good at teamwork. at working with someone to create stability. they may feel like your independence and your hard work to build stability for yourself is fuelled by a lot of pain and trauma. perhaps childhood trauma from when you didn’t have (or were prevented from having) stability and happiness growing up. for someone specific, this person knows about a divorce or a splitting of your family - whether this is your split or your parents’. and they believe that’s why you prioritise your self-stability and creating happy connections and spaces for you to thrive in.

you’re a go-getter, pile two. you have extremely strong masculine energy regardless of your gender. they view you as a creative. a visionary that will always go after your goals in the most efficient way possible. they also view you as a great leader. especially if you’re a boss/managers/in a position of authority at work. or if you’re the one who primarily runs things in your household. they just view you as someone who’s constantly knowing how to direct people to work together to create harmony in the workplace or at home. and if not, then they just view you as someone who has mastered self-governance (another thing that you could’ve been prevented from in the past). they view you as someone who has been through a lot in life. someone who has been hurt and beaten down repetitively. but you’re still standing and putting in the work to maintain yourself in life. you’re not someone who gives up despite all of the bs that’s thrown your way. due to all of your negative experiences and trauma, you’re someone with extremely strong boundaries. someone who’s very protective of self and of the people who you love and care for (such as your family). if any of you are parents, this person views you as a mama/papa bear 😂. they feel sorry for anyone who tests your kids lmaoo. they can tell that you’re someone who fights your hardest to defend your loved ones from the feelings and experiences that you’ve had to endure yourself. there’s a lot of respect for you from this person because of your history - and because you’ve accumulated so much self respect for yourself despite all of this.

find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon

• pile three •

just like pile one, your person views you as someone who knows how to defend yourself in arguments or from verbal attacks. there’s also something about you being stubborn with your beliefs or what you know. once you know something about someone or a situation, nobody can tell you shit. you stick to what you know and what you believe. you’re not easily manipulated. you’re someone who’s also an extremely hard worker. you’re viewed by this person as someone who’s focused on really perfecting your craft. maybe even a perfectionist as a character trait. and now i’m hearing “one track mind”. when you’re focused on something, you’re FOCUSED. they believe that you have a lot of places that you want to go in life, and it seems like you’re always moving forward onto the next thing to work on and perfect. they see you as someone who has the whole world in your hands and you’re not stopping for anyone.

they feel like they don’t know that much about you. like you’re secretive (whether this is purposeful or not). they can’t just guess your personality or what type of person you are with other people like they might be able to with others. they do view you as someone who’s extremely sweet and kind though. and this might surprise them in a way, because it’s not commonly seen from you - at least to them. there’s a masculine energy to you that has flickers of really feminine, sweet, loving energy - and that’s probably why they can’t make much sense of you. you’re extremely focused on work, it seems. or on your own personal development journey. they see you as someone who’s going after creating the life that you want. they can tell that you’re serious about your life. your person views you as someone with A LOT of potential. but not even just in terms of a relationship, but in terms of your life in general. they can tell that you go after opportunities - especially opportunities with work and money.

i had to pull more cards for you guys than i did for the other piles, and i really feel like it’s because this person barely knows anything about you. but they definitely admire the little about you that they do see.

find the extended audio reading about how they feel about you here on patreon

[astrologanize]

pick a card : what can you do to ensure your blessings?❂

*please take a moment to take a deep breath and choose the image you are most drawn towards*

———-for pile 1 ⊹

do you ever feel like a plastic bag-...no, nvm, but do you ever feel like you've been typecasted? like you have been pigeonholed into being something for so long and now you're just attached to this identity a lil too much? cuz i'm seeing someone who is living as though they're an elderly person who is too set in their ways. you are the classic case of your ego blocking your blessings!

the only way for you to ensure your blessings is to start paying closer attention & recognizing the uninspired patterns of behavior you possess because there is too much ego and too much stagnancy. you can experience the life you desire if you rework your expectations and realize that what you've been accepting as your life is really a path that requires minimal motivation from you - there is no zest! no lust for life! if you are dealing with any sort of depression or low mood i can understand the lack of motivation but i'm afraid you have to actively participate in your life in order for it to change.

once you begin to rework your expectations and become an active participant in your life you will be amazed by all that you attract. you could go from being a homebody to the life of the party, you could start attracting a bunch of different people, you could start attracting a lot of attention, especially romantic attention, and you'll finally start feeling free and able to see all the choices you have for yourself and your life. there are joyous times waiting for you! stop settling for the sake of ego, set aside your pride and choose life.

———-for pile 2 ⊹

if you know better then do better. although i am seeing you open to the world, it is not in a way that is conducive to attracting what you truly desire for yourself. you're someone who seems to be winging your way through life but you're not necessarily taking chances or risks, at least none that are major or worth much. it's kind of reminding me of 'good will hunting'...like you're this person who does have strong capabilities but you're not believing such or doing anything with them.

in order for you to ensure your blessings you need to start shaping yourself to be a well-defined person who understands their capabilities and decides to do something with them. time to work on your ability to be decisive! i do not think it will be a smooth ride for you in doing so because you will run into some temporary problems as you make the transition but you will finally be doing something different with your life.

an annoying adjustment period is standing between you and your blessings! but the blessings are lovely; your connections with others will surely improve as you come more into your own as a well-defined person and you're able to show up in the connections as such - you'll be receptive to them and they'll be receptive to you because you will have an improved relationship with boundaries. 'you're okay' wanted to come through for you <3 take some deep breaths and know that you are more capable than you think you are. also it's coming through that you guys should take more photos! whether that's of yourselves or with others or of your life.

———-for pile 3 ⊹

lol y'all are giving baby energy...if you're under the age of 22 then you being childish makes sense but if you're over the age of 22 then it's giving adultchild. you guys are killing the mood ngl, i'm seeing that you have the tendency to be pessimistic, creatures of habit, and lazy. no bueno. it's reminding me of water placements that refuse to get their shit together.

in order for you to ensure your blessings you need to stop wallowing in your emotions and allowing your emotions to control you, therapy may be a good option for you but ultimately you need to start learning how to properly share & confide your emotions. this does involve you also learning how to regulate your emotions and recognizing what you are actually feeling instead of it being an endless cluster of emotions and moods. sorry but ya gotta build some structure in your life!

this will be a tedious process because you're going to have to dish out some tough truths to yourself and point the finger to the mirror so you can get a grip on your life. how can the blessings come when you're choosing to stay under all your perceived misfortunes?

———-for pile 4 ⊹

i fear you are missing the fruits of life by focusing too heavily on your own ambitions. it's not a bad thing that you are someone who has pursuits of your own that you want to follow but when its to the point of neglecting connectivity with others then it is a problem. you get so caught up in thinking that life is going to pass you by & that you need to do all these things in order to attain happiness or a sense of achievement/fulfillment that you end up living a life based in fear & bulldozing your way through life.

in order for you to ensure your blessings you need to calm down and breathe and trust that good things are happening instead of getting in your extreme existential moods that cause nothing but issues and stress and create blockage. your existential crisis for your life is making you miss out on the people around you and chances to connect on a deeper level because you're so fixated on what you think you should/need to be doing for yourself.

taking a step back from your own vortex and quelling these fears will help you to become present in your life. you will be able to have heart to hearts with people, conversations that give you the chance to improve and further the emotional intimacy in your life. life will stop feeling like an uphill battle and you will no longer be chasing fulfillment but instead actually embracing it.

———-for pile 5 ⊹

you have resigned yourself to a supposed fate that is not meant for you. either you are living your life not on your terms & enduring things that truly do not resonate with you and/or you are hung up on what you thought your life would be like & won't stop beating that dead horse. it's seeming like you're a glutton for punishment at times and choose to dwell on shoulda woulda coulda's.

in order for you to ensure your blessings you gotta do some soul searching to figure out what actually does resonate with you because once you know that, whatever you put your mind to...you will be able to attain it with far greater ease than you know. start journaling, writing affirmations, writing down manifestations, the power of the mind and tongue is palpable for you. it's time to utilize your wits, speak your mind, express your thoughts! there is too much you are lamenting and not enough creation happening, which only furthers the feeling of you being stuck.

in doing this, you will be giving up something in your life...whether it be a path you're going down or a mindset that is not serving you, whatever it is...it will be a relief for you to no longer persist with something that has offered little to no benefit for you. a new realm will begin to form as you figure out your way of truth, no more shall you be a sitting duck refusing to surrender to the beautiful waves of life. believe in the life that is and is to come!!!!!!

———-for pile 6 ⊹

suffer in silence type, perhaps? i'm seeing that you have the tendency to have a major guard up, you stick to what you know, you hold yourself back due to your own fears, and the crown is befitting because you do feel the need to hold your head high. unfortunately this does not allow for energy to flow to you though!

in order for you to ensure your blessings you need to chip away at the walls you've built and start allowing yourself a bit of vulnerability. keeping your feelings to yourself and suffering in silence is creating blockages in many areas of your life because you're living from a place of fear and not honoring sentience. you cannot do everything on your own and there is no reward in trying to. it's time to ask & accept the help of others because you must learn to trust in others and be open to leaving the confinement of your own walls. be a lil helpless, as a treat. it's a wonderful feeling to give momentary reprieve by leaning on another, and it also gives the other person the opportunity to tap into their own humanity by assisting a fellow human.

you trying so hard to stand on your own is only making you shakier! if you allow for vulnerability you will begin to gather your bearings and life will be able to flow for you. even though you will be feeling not as independent as you were of course, your sense of security will drastically improve and you will start to be okay with the bouts of feeling unassured in yourself instead of forcing yourself to always be standing upright (which only leads to instability eventually).

[beloveds-embrace]

Tbh I'm starting to suspect that most of my asks for you are just going to be me affectionately yelling at you.

Because you've given me so many ideas???? And now I'm faced with the constant "LEMME GIVE THIS READER A FRIEND PLEASE LET ME BE HER FRIEND"

Dukedom AU? Congrats, Reader now has a friend who's father was Riley's and Price's general and while she has no doubts about Reader's husband, they haven't seen each other since Reader's parents practically forbid it in their teens and- actually, isn't Duke Riley still friends with Duke Price? And unmarried? ... She has a letter to write. Short and simple should do it. (And maybe her and Reader resume their queerplatonic relationship- the Friend is devoted to the Reader like a cat returns to the same home that lets it chase the rats)

Shifter AU? Here, Reader's friend is a demigod (Zeus' kid who begged for Hera's forgiveness and bound herself to the goddess in blood and ink) who works nights and lets it known exactly how she feels about her friend being taken without letting her know first via lightening storm over the whole fucking city until she knows Reader is safe. (And maybe she's slowly becoming a minor deity herself. Maybe Soap gets a whiff of hair bleach when she's pissed, or tattoo ink when she's cackling, or antiseptic when she's offering comfort).

Fertility God AU? The deity of death visits sometimes, calm and quiet and peaceful- a reminder that it is dying that's painful, while death itself is nothingness. She never picks the plants herself, merely grabs the flowers Reader picked already and uses that to tap noses. Okay I might actually just take the idea of 141 serving their war god and the war god being slowly brought to his knees and going a whole other direction with it.

Just. Let me give these soft Readers Fierce Friends who'll take one look at these military men and be like "Bitch you still have an Achilles tendon, I will cut you down if you hurt them." And maybe that's a turn-on for a couple of them, idk it could happen.

So. Many. Ideas. And I'm like, buzzing with insecurity about writing them because they weren't mine to start with and tbh Tumblr is really the only way I know these characters? And also I appreciate it if you made it this far through my word vomit thank you for your time and have a good day!

As long as the yelling comes from a place of love who am I to complain? 😌💕

Also omg yes every reader needs a friend. A good, dependable friend that lessens the angst just a little.

Also omg yes?? If Friend manages to even convince Simon to marry her, with the promise that she wants nothing romantic with him just a way to be close to you again, then she’d also solve the rumors that still spread about Simon’s unmarried status even with the general fear of him. And you get your darling Friend close again! Win-win, and the 141 get to see you exceptionally happy and excited.

Friend looked away for just a short while and then returns to learn your shitty boyfriend has cheated on you with your other shitty friend she never liked, you aren’t anywhere in your home and you haven’t gone to work and you have been kidnapped by some pack of shifters- personally, anyone would be fucking pissed too ngl. Friend probably smells the loveliest when she’s with you, though, when she sees you happy at last.

Now the Fertility god au I’m gonna need more from you babes you can’t just leave me hanging here 👁️👁️ /nf

And yes. Like I said all readers deserve a fierce friend it’s not a law but it should be and yes to that too i need them to blur the lines between friends and lovers just a lil too. Life’s more that way, me thinks.

Also no please don’t worry, fandom spaces are shared and new writings are always welcome 😭🫶🏻 i haven’t laid a single finger on any of the games im just rawdogging it too dw so you should absolutely write if you want to without fear!! Thank you for this wonderful ask I loved reading it!

[slutt4ellie]

Fated Hearts Start With Fire

PT7 - Burnt out hearts.

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6

masterslist

Moving to a new city is tough, but it’s even harder when your roommates a dick.

Summery - This with Ellie are good, great even. Yet you still have open pages left with your one and only girlfriend. You’re really not sure how to continue.

Warnings -> Starts off with Ellie’s pov / Jelous!Ellie / Jealous!Reader / Cheating / Kissing / Mean!Ellie / Heavy miscommunication / Reader is sorta dumb ngl. / Sub!Ellie / Top!Ellie / Bottom!reader / Oral (E!receiving) / Fingering (E!receiving) / (Lmk if I missed anything!)

WC: 6.1k

(Not proofread)

Ellie knew she was over as soon as your lips made contact with hers.

The choice which led her to wake up in your bed, holding and kissing you. Still mumbling short praises out of tiredness.

It all didn’t help either when she woke up in your bed on Christmas morning, quickly going downstairs to open the gifts you bought her while your knees touched.

The way your hand danced along her jeans under the table during your families annual Christmas dinner. Quickly cuffing your hands together.

She’d like to say it’s the little things which drove everything to where it is now.

The overwhelming love she’s constantly feels towards you.

Yet it’s not like she would want to admit she was feeling the symptoms of love.

Because you’re not hers, your Mia’s.

Despite the intimacy travelling through each day you stayed at your childhood home she would watch as messages from Mia would come through your phone.

The way you were always quick to shake them off, trying to internally convince yourself whatever the fuck was happening between you and Ellie was okay.

It hurt Ellie, it almost felt like a constant reminder she’s currently living in some fantasy, which again.

Just wasn’t real…

Something she was still struggling to understand..

Because you and Ellie have been so romantic these past few days, and despite the fact you’re still with Mia she feels as this isn’t a stupid one time mistake. One where you and her slept together with the intent of forgetting the next day..

And because of that it feels like something that could grown into so much more.

And truthfully she’s scared of that..

It wasn’t till Ellie’s eyes slowly faded open and she was met with your hand lightly rubbing her shoulder that Ellie understood she passed out somewhere during the plane ride back.

Ellie’s head lazily lifts off your shoulder.

“We landed” You sighed out looking at her. Ellie was almost to focused on your voice and eyes, to far in a trance to notice you guys held hands the whole way.

Ellie’s sleepily yawns and she smiles lightly, simply not replying.

“Come on” You mumble, slowing chuckling at Ellie, her mannerisms being cute.

Ellie stands up first, and you make the decision to let go of her hand. Something Ellie almost always refuses to do.

“You excited to be back..?” Ellie questions helping you pick up your carry on luggage.

She noticed the way your eyebrows furrowed, it offered a sense of unsureness she couldn’t really process.

“I don’t know, I was enjoying the break.” You smile back at her.

Ellie just nods back, she can tell you’re not telling her everything.

Did she mention that though, no.

Ellie didn’t want to come off to strong while being with you. She felt like there was some thin ice already, the topic that the both of you choose to not mention.

Mia..

And it’s not a big surprise that you both found comfort in not mentioning that extremely important topic.

After Ellie’s hand looped around your little carry on, she leaned forward pressing a small kiss to your lips.

It almost has become the normal for the both of you.

To act like this wasn’t blatant cheating.

“Come on- come on” You jokingly push her cheek back so the both of you can start making your way out of the plane.

Ellie could tell you just wanted to be home

She just really didn’t know the shit show which was going on inside your brain.

This vacation, what you and Ellie did, it was horrible, 100%..

But selfishly it was nice. You didn’t have to worry about any possibility of getting caught.

But as you’re looking at Ellie all you can think about is what you were going to say, or do when you finally meet with Mia.

She was so fucking sweet, she took everything so patient and slow with you, and somehow you managed to mess that up.

Ellie watches as you as you rush through the security, not engaging as much as you usually do. Just humming along as she talks.

She wishes she could see what you were thinking about, how much easier it would be for the both of you.

She noticed a while ago how you rather take the short cut rather then facing certain things head on.

Which she understood more then anyone.

“You wanna talk..?” Ellie ask fingers intertwining back with yours.

You turn to look at her, as talk wouldn’t be horrible, but right now you just needed to sleep..

You just weren’t ready for the recognizable voice that came near the front doors of the airports.

It made you flinch back, and fast.

Your hand retracted from Ellie’s and all you did was look for the source.

Ellie felt..well stupid.

Until she saw her.

The brunette with the blue eyes.

Fucking Mia.

Mia rushed up to you. Holding out her arms which looped around your skin.

Ellie’s whole face is pink, she doesn’t talk she just simply observes, watching the scene play out.

But soon she saw Mia lips on yours, and it feels like everything which just happened between you two.

Stuff that was still fucking happening.

It cracked.

It even made you pull back, simply in a panic.

It was accidental but your lips have been so accustomed to the girl right beside you.

Ellie’s.

The way Ellie would kiss you was different from how Mia would.

And maybe it was some fucked up placebo but Ellie almost felt warm, while Mia felt cold.

You saw in the corner of your eyes how her gaze faltered, it seemed confused and lost. Almost with a mix a betrayal.

But most of all…jealousy…

Ellie’s whole face was pale, her eyebrows were extremely furrowed.

And even though you wanted to turn over to her, reassure Ellie by holding her hand. Kissing her cheeks and face. The shit you’ve been doing these past few days, you know you can’t.

Because your girlfriend- who’s probably just as confused, trying to figure out what led you to pull back from the kiss is staring at you.

“Fuck- I’m so sorry!” You try to ease the awkwardness by laughing.

Mia laughs too and shakes her head dismissively. “You good??” She says jokingly. Obviously not taking it as serious as you. And definitely not as serious as Ellie.

You feel Mia’s arm loop around your waist, now facing to the green eyed girl.

You see as Ellie’s eyes aren’t even focusing on yours or Mias..

The only thing you could notice is how her green eyes where focused on just looking at the arm which fell on you.

“How was the trip baby?” Mia ask looking straight at you.

All you reply with is a short nod of your head and a simple hummed version of “Good”

The silence was becoming overwhelming and Mia repressed it by speaking again, yet you sorta wished she hadn’t.

“What about you Ellie.” Mia ask, her attention still drawn to you, truthfully Mia didn’t exactly care how Ellie’s trip was, not when you where with her..

There’s a long silence and no reply from the auburn, she turns to Ellie speaking up once again.

“Ellie?” Mia ask tilting her head noticing how her eyes where extremely focused on her arm. More specifically her hand which was rubbing the small silver of skin between your shirt and pants.

And for that reason Ellie again doesn’t answer, and really, she probably couldn’t have been more fucking obvious!?

Because Mia spits out a quick. “Fuck our eyes are up here.” It’s a joke.

You knew it was a joke, but Ellie didn’t laugh.

Because she didn’t find it funny, not when someones hands are on you.

She just looked up and mumble. “Yeah good.”

“Good.” Mia says awkwardly before turning back to you.

“So..I came here with an uber..?” She says looking at you.

It doesn’t help that your face can’t peel away from Ellie’s side profile, she’s not even looking at you anymore, her heads just geared to the side.

“Are you two good?” Mia spits out, making both of your eyes nervously drag back to her face.

“Yeah” Yours and Ellie’s voice say simultaneously, both under the consensus you shouldn’t speak about it.

About what happened during that whole trip, it just wasn’t important.

“Okay- cool.” Mia nods looking at you, she kisses your cheek now. And Ellie just scoffs, not even fucking nonchalantly.

It you hadn’t know better, you honestly would have maybe thought she wants the both of you to get caught.

And fuck the car ride back to your apartment was worse.

Mia had to the bright idea that she should join you two. Help you unpack while you tell her how nice your trip was.

Which earned a simple scoff from Ellie.

And the fucked up part was Ellie was so quiet half the time. But once their was mention about you and Mia. She always did something.

It was even worse when there was a romantic aspect, because then she would actually talk.

The biggest example being Mia starting off by asking you if you’d like to go on a date, which was this coming Wednesday.

The first thing Ellie says is “Nah- were studying Wednesday.”

You two weren’t studying, you had no plans to study, and you couldn’t even understand why she said it.

Her tone had an underlining of possessiveness, like she wanted to make sure you weren’t going out with Mia. At least not anytime soon.

All you could do was agree to it too.

Because could you explain why Ellie would lie about studying. You’d have to explain why she had this random and weird sense of possession over you.

And well, you could do that?..

It didn’t really take long till you guys got to the apartment..

Once the three of you entered Ellie immediately trailed to her bedroom not waiting up, nor saying anything to the two of you.

Mia knew something probably happened to her, but she didn’t really care.

All she currently cared about was the two of you.

And that’s how the day faded into night.

Mia had work in the morning and finally since the first time you and Ellie landed you actually had a moment alone.

Once the door to your shared apartment was closed and you walked Mia out, you quickly made your way back down the hall to knock on Ellie’s bedroom door.

“Yeah?” Ellie says, by her tone you know she’s in some sort of mood, and to be fair you really can’t blame her.

You understood why, if you were in her position you wouldn’t be too nice either.

“Can I come in.?” You ask.

“No?” Ellie replies dryly before continuing, her tone is so unlike the one she’s been using with you. “Go fucking talk to Mia man.”

It reminded you of the period where you and Ellie both had a mutual hatred, just this time it hurt all that more because you and Ellie weren’t some strangers.

“Ellie-“ You sigh out, and in the moment she did want to fold. But Ellie just stuck her ground.

“Go the fuck away dude?” Ellie pauses before sighing. “Please.” She feels stupid spitting out the last part, but she doesn’t like being mean to you. It’s just not as easy as it was before.

It also felt weird hearing Ellie call you dude. You’ve been so accustomed to ‘Babe’ or ‘Baby’ that hearing ‘dude’ and ‘man’ was so fucking foreign

Regardless you sigh out a little “Will you talk to me?” You ask outside her door.

You hear footsteps trailing to the her bedroom door before it opens. “You didn’t talk to me first!” Ellie says.

Now the annoyed tone is disappearing, replacing with a tired sound.

“I- Mia was over Ellie- and you were being so avoidant?” You spit out, awfully coming out as harsh.

“You think I wanna see the two of you making out!” Ellie yells pushing her pointer finger towards your chest. “It’s fucking bullshit.” Ellie says.

“What?” You look at her, confused at what she’s getting at, because if she’s trying to say Mia kissing you is your fault, that’s bullshit.

“Us acting like a fucking couple the whole trip?” Ellie yells. “Then you can’t even look at me!?”

“Because she was there Ellie!” You yell once again.

“I don’t get this- like I don’t fucking get you” She yells once more, because truly she didn’t get you.

She simply just doesn’t understand why you haven’t told her yet.

“I have a girlfriend!” You yell back.

All Ellie wanted to say in that moment was the fact you treated her like a girlfriend every since you two slept together.

But she chickened out resulting in her saying.

“Are you telling her?” Ellie retorts

Ellie then continues. “Because- if you think- i’m just gonna sit here and wai-”

You cut her off. “I don’t.”

“But Ellie you kissed me.“ You say looking back at her. Your voice fading into a tired tone. “I don’t get it either but you kissed me?” You look at her. Her face is now frowning. You can’t understand her.

Ellie just looks down, avoiding any unnecessary talking between you two and getting to the point…

“You wish I hadn’t?” She ask.

“I already told you no?” You run your hand down your face. You’re exhausted, and really this feels like a conversation you two have already had.

The one outside your house to be exact.

“Why haven’t you told her.” Ellie’s voice cracks.

“Because- It’s not that easy?” You say looking at her.

“Isn’t it?” Ellie says.

You can’t reply. Because truly it is that easy. All you have to do it tell Mia straight up, everything that happened. It should be that easy.

But you feel so scared, and you don’t even know why. You assume it’s because you know that you’ve done something wrong.

You’d love to justify what happened, but you just can’t. And you know for a fact when telling Mia it’s sure to go with confrontation.

Another reason why you’re pulling back.

Ellie sighs and shakes her head. “I’m gonna get sleep.”

“El-“ You try leading Ellie to only shake her head.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” She tiredly sighs, at this point over the current conversation. She just wasn’t having it.

And just like that there was a slam of Ellie’s door. It was cold, and in your eyes meant to hurt you.

And you would give Ellie a congratulations, because it 100% worked.

It stayed like that for awhile.

Cold.

It’s been a month since that moment, where you and Ellie fought. Ending promptly with a slam of her door.

And also since you made the conscious decision to not tell Mia what ensued that trip.

And because of that, the cold Ellie came straight back, and fuck probably worse?

She was back to her mean self, swearing at you, getting annoyed at every little fucking thing you did, like getting up early for classes, if you were too loud while on the phone, drank or ate something she bought.

So basically stuff that the previous Ellie would get mad at.

The only conversation that you two had was just a mix of hurtful words and swearing, yet those only came from Ellie’s side.

But something else was new this time around.

Ellie never had girls over. Not even once.

But that changed as soon as she realized you definitely weren’t telling Mia, because just like that, a new girl would be over ever single night.

The first time it happened you didn’t think much of it, because you and Ellie are adults, who are 100% allowed to have hook ups, dates, or different people over.?

And even though it hurt, a fucking lot. You had to push past it.

And plus it’s not like you could say anything?

Because at the end of the day you still had Mia.

It was really just hard. Your ears picking up distance moaning of a new girl every fucking night, it was starting to take a toll on you.

Your grades were slipping, in a resulting of you pushing back school work, Mia could tell something that up, not like it was hard.

You became extremely distance in the one month time period, denying dates as much as you could, not answering messages, really just acting like a shit girlfriend.

And you made a decision then, living in a lie was simply not working.

It just always came to one simple end.

You never knew how to bring it up.

It should be as easy just telling her. “I slept with Ellie”. But you couldn’t?

Times where you’ve been close you backed out, thinking of any excuse to pull back. It just never happened, being the main reason why you’ve excepted not telling her was the easiest way out?

But you had it planned.

You texted Mia about an hour ago, asking her if she wanted to come over.

To which she agreed.

You asked her to come over around 10. And your phone was now reading 10:12. So she could really be here at any moment.

All you had to say were those 4 longing words, the ones that have been purposefully avoided since what happened.

Your gaze shifted to your bedroom door hearing the distant knock of the front door.

You put your phone down on the bed before turning your legs over the frame.

It wasn’t till you heard a mix of Mia’s and Ellie’s voice where the panic came.

Because at this point you wouldn’t put it past Ellie to suddenly expose what the fuck happened. At the end of the day,

did she really have anything to truly lose?

So you got up faster and opened your door

It wasn’t till the creek of your door came through the hallway and both of their eyes shifted straight at your figure where the talking finally stopped.

Ellie would never get over how good you constantly looked.

She assumed it would get easier.

Prioritizing her mind with different girls trying to drown herself in thoughts which didn’t revolve around you, but that never worked.

Because you never batted and eye. You didn’t pay attention, and that made it worse?

Ellie didn’t know if everything that happened during that trip was a hallucination, or maybe she got too high, hitting the point where everything was just made up inside her mind.

Ellie would purposefully getting ready for a night out, wearing the best outfit she could for the 15 second time frame where you eyes could finally trail her figure.

Yet they never did?

Not when she had a girl over, or when she would stupidly yell at you. You never cared.

And the shitty part was, it was basically the opposite for her.

Every time you went out, or Mia would come over. She would be reminded in an instant that none of that was for her.

Or more specifically.

You weren’t for her.

And Ellie assumed that’s what lead her to where she is now.

Opening the door for your girlfriend, with a stupid fucking mindset.

Ellie’s eyes trailed you along with Mias.

“Hey baby!” Mia smiles and makes her way past Ellie to finally connect with you.

As soon as she reaches you, her hand finds itself on your waist, catching Ellie’s attention fast.

“Hey?” You smile, turning you head to look at Ellie then back at Mia.

“Did she say something to you?” You ask.

All Mia replies with is a quick shake of her head and a questioning “No?”

Ellie finally speaks after what seems like an eternity, and for the first time it’s not straight insults.

Yet you kinda wished it was.

“Tell her.” Ellie says looking at the two of you.

Mia laughs and looks at you. “What??”

She’s taking it as a joke, because Ellie saying ‘Tell her’ could really mean nothing? It was only till neither of you laughed and your eyes were focused on Ellie when she stopped laughing.

“What?” Mia now repeats, voice a bit more stern.

“Do you want me too?” Ellie questions looking at you.

And in this moment you’re frozen, because it’s making you question if Ellie would actually do that? And as your mind goes through a million different directions.

It keeps landing on one end.

100 fucking percent.

“We slept together” Ellie spits out.

Ellie looks between Mia and you.

She knows she’s definitely fucked up when she sees how you’re tearing up, in Ellie’s thought process she was thinking maybe once she said it out loud you and Mia would break up extremely fast.

No hurt feelings, or really feelings at all. She thought it would be easy.

Then you’d jump into her arms or some shit.

But oh how she was wrong.

“What?” Mia says looking straight at you quickly moving her hand from your waist.

“Tell me she’s fucking lying?” Mia says looking at you.

When the absence of words flowed throughout the whole apartment Mia takes that as confirmation. “With fucking Ellie?” She says.

“Mia-“ You try to explain yourself? Or even explain what the fuck happened, but she just shakes her head.

“With fucking Ellie! Really??” She now yells.

You can’t even be mad at her, because you definitely deserve it? At this point you’ve dug your own grave, and you’re lying in it.

“Out of everyone?” Mia yells again, her eyes trail up and down Ellie. She’s pissed to say the least. And she didn’t hide the disgust while looking at Ellie’s figure.

Ellie starts “Okay- you don’t have to be a dick about it-“

“Shut up Ellie!” You and Mia both say turning to her.

“Sure you cheated? But it’s ironic you chose the one girl who’s treated you like shit continuously?” Mia says looking at you then back at Ellie.

“When?” Mia questions.

Even though you knew what she meantyou simply replied with a short and simple “What?..”

“When did you guys do it.?” Mia says once again stepping further away from you. You see Miss eyes trailing your figure, looking you up and down unable to look at the auburn who was a few steps forward.

The look she gave you will be burned into your brain for eternity.

Utter disgust.

“During- when I went to my parents for Christmas.” You cry wiping the tears as they continue to pour out.

“So you guys were what- fucking? Taking it as some romantic getaway??” Mia yells looking straight at you.

And despite her blue eyes which resemble the coolness, all you can really pick up is hatred. Which makes your skin feel like it’s on fire.

“N-no Mia- it wasn’t- it wasn’t like that?” You try, trying to reach her, but it’s just not working?

“Then what was it like, a fucking mistake?” Mia questions.

You’re not sure what to say.

Was you and Ellie sleeping together a mistake, you’re not sure.

Because in the moment everything in your brain told you no. But Mias words weren’t exactly lies? Ellie was a dick to you, fuck still is a dick to you.

Even if it’s some way to ensure she doesn’t get hurt, all it leaves you with is a ache in your chest each time she swears at you, brings multiple different girls over, when she doesn’t think about how you feel.

Ellie maybe just isn’t a great person.

And that was something you had to accept.

“Yes..” You spit out wiping your tears.

Your eyes don’t focus on the blue ones which lie on your figure, rather the green ones which are glossing over.

And Ellie doesn’t know what to say, because she’s gone back and forth since the two of you arrived back in NYC, trying to understand if maybe you thought it was a mistake.

But she tried to shrug that thought off. Because she had no confirmation, not until now.

She noticed how you questioned your own words, but it didn’t make what you said any better.

Because everything that happened, was it truly all one simple mistake..?

Mia’s eyes dance between you and Ellie.

Mia picked up on the fact your eyes weren’t peeling from Ellie’s, and how Ellie’s eyes were clearly glossed over.

“Fucking ridiculous.” Mia says moving away from you and heading straight for the door. In the process shoving past Ellie and closing the door with a loud cold slam.

The apartment is silent, apart from sniffles coming from both of your noses.

You nor Ellie have plans on talking.

So after about a minute of silence you both find yourselves in your own bedrooms, crying silently.. Again avoiding the inevitable talk which needed to be had.

“You can’t just run away?” Dina groans looking at Ellie.

“Yes I can!” Ellie sighs laying down on her bed.

It’s been a solid week since that moment happened, you guys haven’t talked, or to be fair really seen each other.

If you were home Ellie would discard to Dina’s and Jesses, and vice versa.

You’ve somehow both find comfort in avoiding what happened. Which in all honesty was super unhealthy.

“She said it was a mistake man.” Ellie says voice a bit low, she’s trying to cover the fact it definitely hurt, seeing how those words pushed past your lips which she had kissed.

It made her feel stupid.

“Okay? But what is avoiding it going to do?” Dina ask.

“I’m just gonna-“ Ellie thinks and clears her throat. “End my lease? There’s 0 point of living here.”

“Ellie what the fuck would you do?” Dina now ask.

“Say the roles where reversed- would you seriously say it wasn’t a mistake?” Dina says.

“Yes!” Ellie spits out and stands up straight off her bed. “I would- and she didn’t, and it’s so clear she doesn’t feel the same way for me?” Ellie says.

“Maybe because you didn’t give her the chance to tell Mia?” Dina now says.

“She wasn’t going to tell her-“ Ellie starts off leading Dina to just shake her head.

“Wasn’t your place dude.” Dina shrugs. “I get your hurt, and I would be too. But you probably shouldn’t have told Mia.” Dina sighs.

“And don’t move out dumbass, you’re place is so close to all the clubs” Dina chuckles.

“You think she hates me?” Ellie ask nervously moving her hand up to bite her nails.

“No- but then again, she still has time!” Dina jokes.

“You’re so fucking stupid?” Ellie runs her hands down her face. “What should I do?” Ellie ask.

“You know her better than I do?” Dina shrugs.

———

Ellie’s nervously standing outside your bedroom door, she feels like an idiot to be honest, because what is she even doing.

Ellie’s hands are occupied with flowers she got from a little market down the street, and a few cookies from your favourite bakery. (Which you told her about once..)

She knew you were home too, even though you both went without speaking and often avoided each other by leaving. There were always little moments where you’d both be in the apartment.

“This is stupid..” Ellie sighs backing up from your door. Her full intention to go back to her room and drown herself in the cookies she literally bought for you.

That was until you opened your bedroom door and happened to see her.

Ellie’s hands flew behind her back, a very stupid and desperate attempt to hide what was in her hands..

She watched as your eyes trailed her, a deep and sad sigh leaving your lips, like you were tired of seeing her.

It made a frown appear on Ellie’s face.

Quickly replaced by a confident look, which was faked.

“Can we talk-?” Ellie ask super fast, almost scared you might walk away if she doesn’t get her point out.

“I-I have a paper due at 12 Ellie, and i’m so fucking behind-“ You try but she shakes her head.

“I can help with the paper- I just wanna talk.” Ellie says bitting her bottom lip out of nervousness.

All you can do is sigh and nod.

Maybe you guys should talk.

Ellie’s trailed you into your bedroom. She noticed how your eyes were extremely tired being accompanied by eye bags. Something which Ellie can only assumed is her doing.

“I bought these. For you..” Ellie steps forward and hands you the flowers and cookies. It created a close proximity you didn’t need.

“You didn’t have to.” You sighed and backed up, placing the flowers and cookies on your studying table.

“I wanted too.” Ellie nods.

The room is filled with awkward silence, even though it was Ellie’s idea to talk once she saw you her words died in her mouth, and really she’s now just watching you.

“Ellie I don’t have time for this.” You look at her.

“I want to fucking talk dude!” Ellie says out of annoyance. “We don’t fucking talk?” Ellie finishes off.

“We have nothing to fucking talk about?” You yell. “Fucking nothing?” You continue.

“You’re fucking kidding?” Ellie says.

“We slept together, then we got back and just didn’t speak out it?” Ellie now yells.

“Yeah and who’s decisions was that! You were the one who had a new girl over everyday?” You’re reason was quite stupid, Ellie was being just as dodgy and avoidant as you were.

You just found it easier to blame her.

“Beca-“ Ellie starts off.

“No! And I know you fucking did it to hurt me, or make me jealous? Whatever fucked up thing you were doing it hurt? And if you deny it you’re fucking lying Ellie.“ You yell at her, the tears now starting to flow.

“Because you never told Mia! So- so I wanted you to fucking notice me! Because all you ever paid attention to is her?” Ellie yells straight back, not out of any spite, or to be rude. Just out of some sort of pain? If that even made sense.

“And you saying it was my decision, that’s fucking bullshit! You were the one who didn’t tell her for a whole fucking month!” Ellie yells.

“I get you’re mad at me- but you saying that was my decision.” Ellie scoffs rethinking your words. “Just don’t.”

You didn’t realize it as the moment played out but you and Ellie must have been moving closer to each other. Because now it was at the point you could feel each others breaths.

Her chest rose up and down along with yours. And again the room fell silent.

You both took in each others features for a few seconds. Neither of you talk, neither of you want to talk.

You were thinking maybe you should tell her to leave, so your lips part and you assumed maybe Ellie took that as a sign or something because she leaned in first ending the longing tension and hate you two were sharing with one simple kiss.

But then that “simple kiss” sooner turned passionate and hungry, both breathing into each others mouth.

Her hands flew to your jaw as yours found her hair, neither of you were thinking about what you were doing. But right now you didn’t even care.

Ellie was kissing you with so much passion, as well as so much need.

Regardless you did the same, it really felt like everything else was blacked out.

“Fuck-“ Ellie moans into your mouth, hands hastily finding the bottom of your shirt.

You can only comply but lifting up your arms allowing Ellie to take off your shirt.

In that moment the cold air hit your bare chest harding your nipples in the process.

Ellie’s lips never left yours as the both of you moved to your bed. Her lips and hands still on your body.

“Take off your sweater” You nod towards Ellie’s sweatshirt. Her face is extremely red and her tied up ponytail is slowly undoing itself.

Ellie just nods and lifts up her sweater in an instant, obviously going straight back to kissing you. “I missed you so fucking much.” Ellie moans into your mouth.

You couldn’t understand what got to you when you said you’re next sentence, considering you’re not at all a bold person.

But you did spit out “Yeah…what’d you think about.” You ask, legs finally hitting the bed frame as Ellie moves on top of you lips still tracing along your body.

“The way you kiss me..” She sighs out lips finding yours once again. “And touch me” Ellie say’s finally moving on top dragging her hips to connect with yours, both of you simultaneously moaning.

“Is that it?” You ask cuffing her clothed pussy, Ellie’s hips quickly buckling into your hand.

“Fuck- no. ” Ellie shakes her head as her hands quickly remove her sweatpants, trying to get any more possible contact with your hand.

Ellie kisses you again feeling as your hand continues to move on her clit. “I missed how you said my name.” Ellie nods and moans still kissing you.

At this point Ellie is drenched. You can feel her arousal through her boxers as she continues to whine into your mouth.

Ellie knows the scene is probably pathetic, the way she was mean to you not to long ago. It was simply ironic. Because now she’s on top of you, whining for you to please touch her.

All you do is nod in response to her begs and pleads quickly pulling down her boxers until they reach her ankles.

Your first finger slipped in with ease along with the second..

Ellie’s body weight was soon on top of yours. Her chest which is covered by a sports bra and your bare one clashing together.

As your two fingers slipped in and out there was moans along with kisses filling the crook of your neck. “Fuck-“ Ellie whines.

“Flip over El-“ You say.

Ellie’s only confused for one second until she complies, she doesn’t feel the need to question you..

She watches as your lips trail down her stomach, her hands finding your hair and pulling it up for you.

Your lips are soon tracing her inner thighs, pointer finger still teasing Ellie’s entrance. Her moaning in the process. “You’re so fucking pretty” Ellie sighs out. Crossing the lines of a whine.

Your lips meet her throbbing clit, you look up and watch as Ellie’s eyes roll back in pleasure. Ellie’s soon pushing your face further into her pussy. Her rocking her hips back and forth as your nose hits her clit repetitively.

“Fuck-“ Ellie whines pathetically.

Your two fingers go deep inside Ellie, again with ease. And Ellie was already having a hard enough time not cumming as soon as you touched her. But as soon as your finger was yet again inside her, she was done.

Her back was arching and her lips let out exasperated whines of your name.

Once her hands leave your hair you move up. Chin still wet with her juices, as your fingers were having the same result.

Ellie looked down at you as you began to rise back up.

I guess she just didn’t fully except your dripping fingers to find her mouth. Yet Ellie did not deny. She took your fingers and didn’t hesitate to clean them. Finding your lips right after.

Ellie moaned as she tasted herself.

It reminded her of when you guys first slept together.

But this time there was no worry about being to loud, or lingering thoughts of Mia in both of your minds. It was simply just you and her.

And for that reason she spat out..

“I think i’m in love with you-” Ellie then shakes her head, rethinking her word choice. “I know I’m in love with you- I just- I know i’ve been horrible to you. And I’m not excepting you to say it back- I just-“ Ellie’s no longer able to continue her rant. Because you were kissing her.

“I love you too-“ You nod slightly pulling back as your forehead stayed pushed against hers. “Like a lot.” You nodded.

Ellie has a stupid smirk on her face.

Because now she knew.

She truly was wasn’t losing you this time.

A/N - I KNOW THIS TOOK A LONG FUCKING TIME! IM SORRY ☹️☹️☹️

I’ve been so busy with work and I’ve just had no time to write this, life simply happened and in a result I had no free time.

I HOPE you enjoyed this series, because it’s currently the longest one i’ve ever done.

Also I got extremely high in the middle of writing this so if it starts to sound dumb or something that’s probably the reason.

THATS ALL!

Fated Hearts Start With Fire is over!

Taglist - @a-little-bit-of-everybody @bready101 @shiimer @boobdrug @amberputh @macaroni676 @soupycloud @seraphicsentences @eringranola @mikellie

[stanlunter]

Idk why, but I wanna make a post about Arcane ships I don't like (not hate, just dislike) so here it is:

Timebomb – Yeah, I love their fanarts and edits and they are cute, but I never was obsessed with it and till s2 never even thought about shipping them. They def could be interesting as enemies-lovers, but for some reason they never got me and never actually made me feel something

Jayvik – I've said what I think about them before, but to me they're just close friends. Jayce sees him more of like a brother, while Viktor doesn't care about Jayce as much as Jayce cares about Viktor, plus he's kinda jealous of him. I don't see any romantic potential and honestly think their relationship is insanely overrated

Melvika and basically any ship with Sevika, especially with anyone outside of Zaun – first of all, I can't see Sevika in any relationship and always saw her as aromatic. The second thing is that she hates Pilties more than anyone and would never be lovers or even friends with them, and especially not with Ambessa who literally created a war between the fwo cities. Sevika suffered enough from them and she would never in her life date any of them

Melvik – I can see them as sort of frenemies, but I just don't get how can anyone see them in romantic way and can't see them being in love with each other in any universe. Also since Viktor is asexual, it would just be hard for him to be in relationship with someone who enjoys sex, including both Mel and Jayce

Skyvik – it def does make sense, but we just didn't know Sky enough and didn't saw enough of their interactions (before s2) for me to care about them. Ngl they were cute in s2 and may be if there was a context with their other moments, I would ship it, but there isn't so I just don't

Caitlinx/Caitjinx – they could have some potential of enemies-to-lovers, but there just aren't enough of their interactions for me to ship them. I COULD ship them after s2 if we had the actual war and hatred between them, but unfortunately the moment Caitlyn started hating Jinx mutually, Jinx stopped giving shit about Caitlyn. So it didn't use the potential and didn't become really interesting, may be only in fics

Silged/Sinko – Idk how I discovered it, but ngl, it could be interesting in sort of a fic. But unfortunately we didn't saw any their bond, so there's no chemistry that would make me ship them, they just don't care about each other. They would understand each other tho.

Vilko – I understand where it comes from and may be there could be some potential, but I don't really ship them and honestly their "like brothers" type of bond is already good, romance is just unnecessary here

Melora – not bad, but Elora is just too side of a character for Mel. We've barely seen them, however they definitely care about each other. So the same thing is Skyvik to me

Vangray or whatever their name is – I see them more as friends and I don't think it would fit in the story, but the ship itself isn't bad, just not my type

Ig that's all, but may be I'll upgrade it if I find a ship I forgot about

[prettyboypistol]

I'm not sure if requests are open so if not feel free to delete this ask! Can you do the mercs realizing they're into men because of the reader?

Of course! By the way, this is my 100th post! lucky lucky Anon! This goes out to all of the rest of my followers! Thank you for all the support and followers! I'll always look at your messages and write for TF2! I couldn't be here without all of you! Thank you for letting me be the weird gay man who likes writing about old gay men kissing! -PrinceThomas :>

Tf2 Mercs x M!Reader || Gay Awakening! +18

Scout

Super in denial at first, compares you to actors he likes or thinks are hot and kinda shelves it. Is MAD jealous that you just somehow look great no matter what (to him hehe)

Realizes he has a crush on you when his usual spank bank material of girls isn't really doing it for him anymore. It's 4am, he's tired and horny and a little drunk... his mind just wandered, okay?!

Daydreamer 100%, but his feelings for you and his feelings for Miss Pauling kinda fuck him up ngl?? Is he a homo or not?? I mean, he likes boobs and lipstick and girls, but the rough and tumbled grease in your stubble just gets him rarin in a way girls didn't.

Bisexual struggles fr. Assuming that you're a Stonewall riot supporter, he'd probably try to roundabout ask if he can experiment with you.

What really set you apart from the other mercs is that you just look good compared to them! Yeah, there are some conventionally attractive guys, but you're h o t.

Soldier

Soldier, like Scout, assumed his attraction to you was something more akin to respect or friendliness. I mean, no other soldier he's ever met sacrificed himself to save him! That takes guts! Yeah, you respawned after, but the honor was still there for him.

Develops or at least tries to develop a friendship like what he with Demoman. He might come off like a very determined puppy, but you know he means well.

Uses you as someone to compare others too. (Ex. "SCOUT! THAT WAS HORRENDOUS TECHNIQUE! TAKE A LOOK AT THAT FINE MAN OVER THERE! DETERMINED! STRONG! TAKE NOTES, PRINCESS!")

When he does realize it's love, he is upfront and honest about his feelings with you. After all, if Jane did like men, he could find more powerful army and recreate that unbeatable ancient army of homosexuals!

Asks around about romance, probably interrogates Medic about how to court another man because let's be honest Medic looks gay as he'll and I will die on the hill that every merc just assumes that man is queer.

Pyro

In Pyroland, you're a prince on a unicorn. You're straight out of a fairy tale. They're overjoyed to have a prince in Pyroland rather than just babies! Yeah, it's fun to be childish, but a whimsical joy that are more complex are fun too!

Absolutely follows you around and talks about you to Engie non-stop. Engie jokes that Pyro might have a crush on you and they seriously consider it. They realize you're attractive when you do a party trick of spitting out Bug spray and lighting it on fire, making it look like you breathe fire.

As you cough and retch at the lingering taste of bug repellant in your mouth, Pyro applauds your trick and keeps trying to talk to you. They eventually are able to communicate to you, asking if you have any more fire tricks. You show them that you can twirl a pencil between all your fingers when the eraser tip is lit up like a candle.

You can kind of tell that they like you romantically, but you're not sure how to tell them that you know. A few chats with Engie tells you all you need to know: Pyro has never pursued a romantic interest, Pyro likes you, and that you can probably get their attention with an honest conversation.

Demoman

The most casual about their realization that they like you- and men in general. Just a peek at you in the showers after a particularly clutch victory caused a few rather dirty thoughts. It wasn't that big of a deal to him and kept his attitude of a drunken "Well, a hole's a hole, I bet he's tight."

Probably offers a little bit of fun after a long night of party, definitely a lot more drunk than usual as he leans a tad too close for friendship. That deep, gravelly, and warm voice growled in your ear with an open offer to join him in his room that night.

If you joined, he wouldn't remember the night and regret that he forgot the night in the morning when you and him snuggle awake. If you decline it's no harm no foul.

One of those types of guys who actually can balance his feelings for you along with his friendship- he keeps the ball in your court and stayed professionally friendly, maybe a tad brotherly competitive.

Heavy

This man is an iron wall to hide his feelings. He had the idea that he just wasn't the type to want a relationship- which was fine, more time to work to keep his family safe- but then you jumped out into danger to protect him. He was on the brink of death and you selflessly risked your life for him! Yeah, you both respawned, but it was the gesture that mattered!

His eyes trailed you a lot more often, like a security camera. He pretended to be read his book, but he knew exactly where you were. Medic is the first to notice this change.

Medic asks about Heavy's feelings for you, since Heavy had never ordered Medic to go heal anyone else before! Hell, the both of you tended to stay behind Heavy during battles after that, so you two had a sense of closeness.

When you all went out on a trip to the beach, Heavy loved watching you in the water, and even allowed himself to be dragged in by you to play water polo with Soldier and Demoman. He's a long game of chess, hopefully you can win him over!

Is a bit more protective of you out of battle, but that's something only the people he threatens is aware of.

Engie

Oh fucking god holy shit what the hell man's fucking gay PANICS. DELL IS HEARTSTOPPINGLY FROZEN IN FEAR WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HE LIKES MEN.

All you did was scale a chainlink fence with ease, albeit with a small growling as the metal dug into your fingers. Dell swallowed the feeling thickly. He didn't mean to stare at your ass, really! It just sorta... happened.

And then it happened again as he kneeled to construct a sentry. Then when he was sat down at the kitchen table as you walked by. The only time he didn't catch a glance was when you turned to him with a smug look and a "if you wanna look at my ass, you could just ask."

He knows a lot of gay cowboy culture, but was far too scared to go ahead with a few of the gestures. Although, you weren't as shy, giving him a grey handkerchief when he spillied oil on himself.(translation: grey handkerchief=bondage kink)

Finally- FINALLY! He offers you his hat on a very hot day with his head looking straight at the ground.(translation: if a cowboy puts his hat on your head, y'all fucking)

Sniper

In the top 3 of "chillest reactions to realizing he likes men", but barely on the podium yk?

Mick was doing some target practice and had lost track of time, his pot of coffee and snack pile had been long empty. Right as he was about to get up to stretch his legs, he saw you on the last rung to the ladder of his nest. "Oh hey Snipes! You missed lunch and dinner, 'decided to check in on our favorite sharpshooter." When you stay for a few moments and hand him the bottles of water and leftovers from dinner, he realized that nobody made him feel that loved.

You just being kind sends him into a "did he do that to hit on me? Does he do this to everyone?" Yeah he panics about everything you do, but not because you're a man- it's because a crush is a crush to him!

Sniper does genuinely try to show interest, but in a subtle way like inviting you out to take a smoke break, target practice, maybe offer to let you join him to survivalist camp for a few days.

Spy

Silver medalist of the chill reaction podium, mainly because he laments to himself about all the potential money he had lost by not seducing more men in his more freelance espionage days. He could have hooked up with Saxton Hale to swindle that oaf out of millions- if he had thought of that.

Does a full background and thorough investigation into your personal life, how you reacted to the huge news event of Stonewall, if you had ever hooked up with a man, anything to see if he had a chance to sneak into your dating pool.

He treats you a lot like how he treats the women he seduces, but has to overcome how you brush him off casually like a man. Women were a language Spy speant years studying, so much so that he seldom kept up with the more masculine way of communicating.

At his wit's end, he just asks you bluntly. "Listen, I find you hot. I've been trying to get into your pants for almost 2 months now, do you want to have sex?"

Medic

This man already knew he was gay before you pulled up, sorry. BUT BUT BUT you are the first crush he's had! Yeah, he knew he liked the idealized version of a man he made up in his head, but you are better than the fictional men in books!

Despite the stereotype for Medic, he didn't fall for you when he saw you on his operating table. You and Engie were theorycrafting about hypothetical cybernetic enhancements. Engie had said something biologically inaccurate about the immune system, and before Medic could interrupt your private conversation, you corrected Engie! Not in a demeaning way, but in a way that clearly showed that you had a love for biological science. Medic's heart skipped a beat.

Constantly offering you new enhancements for your body and coddles you about painful proedures (he actually gives you anathesia! How sweet!) and sends his experimental ideas to you for a betaread over. For Medic, that's essentially a confession in and of itself!

Has written your name in little hearts on his note margins and uses you as his anatomy sketch references when he needs to visualize the human skeleton.

[meowzfordayz]

when you're feeling insecure about scar tissue — kyojuro, sanemi, giyuu

Author’s Note: just lil moments of comfort. 🥺 You, your lover, scarring (from a burn), and reassurance. ❤️‍🩹 Ngl, Giyuu’s is pretty brief, but sweet nonetheless. 😅💙

when you’re feeling insecure about scar tissue — kyojuro, sanemi, giyuu

Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~1,300

CW: explicit language, traumatic references

Emergency Request Fulfilled: i kinda accidentally burned myself and had to go to the hospital🤠 and the doctor basically said that my arm is going to have a huge scar on it & i’ve been feeling really insecure about it bc like…it’s kind of a permanent alteration of what my skin looks like lol

i guess i was maybe hoping for some sanemi comfort? idk if that sounds stupid or not but he was the first character that came to mind when this happened to me haha Suggestion Fulfilled: I have a request for Giyuu and if you'd like, anyone else you feel like doing. I have any scars I have insecure of, but I love this one burn scar that is shaped like a butterfly near my collar bone from a pretty traumatic incident (But I think I'm good now???), and I was wondering what he would think of it.

~faqs~

“If you insist on keeping your feelings to yourself, then I may be forced to kiss them out of you,” Kyojuro declares, body emanating a secure heat despite the warning edge in his tone.

Glancing up from your book, you offer him a wry grin, “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

He frowns, mouth twisting in focus, comforter slipping off his shoulder as he scoots closer to you, his hair a soft, simmering ember in the yellow light of your bedside lamp.

“Am I so difficult to talk to?” he asks quietly, your hands instinctively closing your book at the shade of seriousness in his lowered voice, eyes tentatively raising to meet his steady gaze, “Am I unworthy of sharing your troubles?”

“Of course you’re worthy,” you reply lightly, melting in the tender embrace of his expression, “I just… it’s not a big deal,” you shrug, about to reopen your book when a large, warm palm stops you, curving to cup your knuckles while his frown deepens.

“I want to be here for you.”

Something about the hint of pleading in his statement makes your chest twinge, guilt darkening the haunch of your posture, the mattress feeling too small yet too vast for the both of you. The urge to shrug him off again clambers up your throat, the grounding anchor of his touch keeping it from spilling off the tip of your tongue. You sigh.

“Does that sound mean you are ready to confide in me?”

“You’re annoyingly persistent, is what it means,” you mutter fondly, “I swear, it’s not a big deal.”

He huffs, squeezing your fingers as affection smooths his frown, earnest now, “Whatever it is, big or little, important or fleeting, I want to be here for you.”

“Okay,” you groan, unable to wiggle away from his triumphant chuckle, “I was just feeling insecure about my burn scar earlier, that’s it. See! Not a big de-”

“I love your burn scar!” he interrupts brightly, “It may not fit your preferred aesthetic, but it is simply a part of you, and I happen to cherish all of you!”

“My preferred aesthetic?” you deadpan, eyes rolling with amusement.

“Not all scars are beautiful, but perhaps they do not have to be.”

“Did you just imply that my scar is ugly?” you exclaim, playfully jabbing at his legs with your toes, “I thought you were supposed to help me feel better!”

Flabbergasted, Kyojuro blinks helplessly, casually trapping your feet between his shins while his head tilts in confusion, “Is the truth insufficient?”

“What does that even mean?!” you wail, jokingly bumping your forehead against his arm as though it was a wall.

“Well,” he begins carefully, “The way I see it, a scar is a scar. Nothing more, nothing less. And you are nothing less for having one! …” he trails off, uncertainty pursing his lips as he blushes faintly, “I am unsure how to make this romantic… I only wish to assure you that your scar is fine.”

“Y’know what,” you grumble, “let’s cuddle and call it a night. I suddenly feel more secure about my scar.”

“Really?” his brow furrows, “How so?”

“You love me, right?”

“Absolutely!” he nods, releasing your feet, smiling when you promptly tuck them back into the warmth of his legs.

“And your love-”

“Has never been dependent on your physical appearance,” he interjects solemnly.

“So whatever,” you yawn, attention finally returning to your long forgotten book, “This is silly.”

With an agreeable hum, Kyojuro murmurs gently, “You were on page 237.”

“And this is why I keep you around.”

“You’re thinking too hard,” Sanemi grumbles, body propped up against the kitchen island on folded arms, voice low with morning grogginess, “I’ve never seen someone stir their coffee so aggressively.”

“So close your eyes,” you retort, standing across from him, tucking a yawn into your hand, “I can stir my coffee however I please.”

“I’m not denying that,” he chuckles roughly, slowly blinking away sleep as he says pointedly, “But how about you take it out on me instead of your poor beverage?”

You huff, “My poor beverage doesn’t have any feelings,” taking a tentative sip from your steaming mug, “You do.”

“And?” he scoffs, grinning lazily, “I can handle your feelings.”

“How about you handle breakfast,” you smirk, “And then we’ll dissect my feelings.”

“Bossy,” Sanemi mutters, heading to the fridge nonetheless, “Bossy, and an aggressive stirrer of coffee.”

“You love me,” you shrug, winking playfully, “Which is why you’re worried about me.”

“And also why I’m about to cook us breakfast,” he sighs, placing a carton of eggs near the stove, “‘Course I’m worried about you, you have that little dent between your eyebrows going on.”

Snorting softly, you wait until his back turns away again, grabbing a pan, picking a spatula (you have waaay too many), turning on a burner, his fingers wrapping around the neck of the olive oil bottle when you quietly confess.

“I’m thinking about the scarring from my burn,” you hesitate, sensing the tension in Sanemi’s jaw. He cracks an egg. The pan sizzles. You continue, “And I’m… I’m feeling… insecure. Different.”

“You might appear different,” he remarks, cracking another egg, “And that’s life.”

You nod to yourself, about to hurry past the awkwardness with an ill-timed dad joke When life gives you eggs, scramble them! when he gently tacks on, “You’ve seen me shirtless, looked at my face. You love me. My scars too. Sure, I’ve had more time to adjust to them, and yeah, they still bother me, but life goes on. Trauma, joy, and all their scars.”

“But Nemi,” you whisper, “Am I beautiful?”

He laughs loudly at that, whirling around to fix a stern glare on your glassy eyes, spatula wagging scoldingly in your direction.

“Do you lie to me?” he asks simply, “Every time you tell me I’m beautiful?”

You frown immediately at the mere suggestion, shaking your head adamantly.

“So there you go. You see me, and you love me. I see you, and I love you. And we’ll have this conversation as many times as you need.”

When he sets your plate in front of you, the first things you notice are the pepper and salt sprinkled hearts atop your eggs.

—

“Gee, what an incredible chef! One super salty egg, and one super peppery egg!”

“Shut the fuck up, you ungrateful dumbass.”

“Does it ever hurt?” Giyuu murmurs, standing behind you as he stares at you in the tiny patch of wiped off mirror, bathroom still hazy with condensation.

“Not really,” you smile lightly, cheeks warming as he rests his chin on your damp shoulder, wet strands of hair tickling your neck, “Not anymore.”

He hums softly, “That’s good,” fingertips collecting water droplets up the sides of your arms, “It looks pretty,” carefully stepping back to readjust the hastily tucked towel around his waist, “Pretty, but painful.”

You nod in agreement, reaching out to open the door a crack, “It was,” smile brightening as Giyuu’s face gradually becomes clearer and clearer, condensation dissipating as cool air seeps into the heated space, “But now I carry a butterfly with me, wherever I go.”

“And what about me?” his eyes gleam playfully, gently tugging at your waist till you’ve spun around to face him, “Do I get to carry anything cool?” contorting his body to display his various scars, skin pink and soft from the shower.

“Hm…” you pretend to contemplate deeply, nose crinkling before you flick his chest with a decisive snort, “Maybe a blob? Or a straight line drawn by a toddler?”

Giyuu pouts, “You’re so rude,” promptly spinning you back around, ignoring your cute squeak as he grabs a second towel to pat dry his hair, “I totally have a cool lightning scar… somewhere.”