#next post is gonna be tearing folks a new one

[sev-on-kamino]

Yesterday was a lot on many levels.

We saw one of the kindest people, our dear Pineapple, take her leave from this hellsite, and the whole space is darker for that.

But we also saw many voices raised in support of our friend, and after all the unkindness, that was beautiful to see. It’s so good to know that people can see the content of her character, and they’re not shy about speaking up for her.

I was supremely angry and drafted a mean ass post with my rage. I couldn’t find it in me to be gracious or eloquent or anything but upset for my friend. After sleeping on it, I’m still not happy, but I’d like to share something less angry.

Slightly less angry.

The fandom space is entirely in our control. We can control who we interact with, what we see, and how we react to things. We can also control who we do not interact with, and guess what? That’s okay too.

Everyone isn’t going to be besties with everyone else, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to be ugly, mean-spirited, or a whole fucking bully.

Part ways, and leave the past where it belongs.

What someone says about me behind my back is quite frankly of no concern to me. I know who I am, what I stand for, and I’m too old to give a fuck.

What someone says about my friends though? Yeah, that will never slide. The lies told about Pineapple were just that. Lies. The vitriol aimed in her direction was unwarranted and just the sad attempt of two people, who can’t get their heads out of their asses, to cause harm in the greatest way they could manage.

But believe me when I say, the truth will always come to light, and while you may have fooled a few people, you can’t fool everyone.

If this message makes you feel some type of way, you know where the unfollow and block buttons are. I won’t be silent about things like this, and I will not hold back if someone decides they’re feeling froggy and wanna leap.

To Pineapple: I love you, darlin’, and this place is better with you, and because of you. You’re a bright spot here, and don’t ever let some rotten shrimp tail tell you differently.

With love, hope, and a bit of an attitude,

Sev <3

[thecapricunt1616]

BlueBell (c.b. one-shot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): When Mikey killed himself.. it was easy to say you were a mess. Mikey was the one who coaxed you through Carmys leaving, letting you know it was ok, that he was just ‘bein’ a lil’ bitch’ and he’d come to his senses soon enough. But he didn’t. And Mikey got sicker. And no matter how much you tried, how many times you called Carmy after a hard shift, or after stumbling into Mikey in the back freezer with a fucking disposable tourniquet tied around his arm, nodding off, begging Carmy to come home through your tears. Pleading, sobbing into the phone for minutes at a time that his brother was fucking killing himself - you never got a call back. 

♡ O/S Inspo: Bluebell - Luck, truth and friendship. Incorporate into rituals to comfort those left behind and ease their sorrow. ♡ Summary: Your childhood best friend comes back to Chicago to take over the restaurant that had caused a rift in your friendship, and wants to make it better. ♡ W/C: 4.6K ♡ Posted Date: 05/26/2024 ♡ A/N: Heyyyyy!! Here is my technically second request for my 200 follower celebration that can be found ♡ Here ♡ based on this request from an anon :) please get your requests in folks! This celebration will be running Today (05/26/24) to next Sunday 06/02/24! I am still working on my first request (First date w/ Carmy) the writing bug just bit me in the butt for this one and I haven't ever written for childhood best friend Carmy it was very fun!!! Anyhoot- I hope you enjoy :D ♡ Warnings for BTC: Angsty (but comfort too!) Not edited, No use of y/n (reader is referred to as 'squish'), No use of skin colors / descriptions for reader (pics are for purely vibes!), Typical TW's that come w/ TB (speaking of suicide and all that), reader feels nauseous but never throws up!oh and not all that edited woopsieee haha sorry yall know the drill btp

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You had known Carmy a long time. Too long, was what you’d have said when he first moved back to Chicago. He kept in touch with you up until he left, and then it was simply every time your google search alert went off, you got a warmth in your chest knowing he’d accomplished something else. 

It felt strange, not talking to him every day. You'd had a huge fight before he’d ran off to Paris all alone. That was what baffled you, Carmy and alone - didn’t go in the same sentence usually. All middle school, all high school - he was glued to your side. Any time he needed a new assignment because he lost his, you’d go up for him and ask the teacher for a new one. When he needed to return an overdue library book, you’d face the librarian, claiming he’d forgot it at your house and you were too lazy to bring it in until then. Even going up in the fucking lunch line - he literally gave you his lunch pin so he didn’t have to face anyone unnessisarily. 

He’d meet you in the back of the football bleachers, cigarette between his lips that he’d throw out as soon as he saw you (he took to heart how you despised the habit- and he strongly disliked disappointing you) but with a mother, older brother, father, and older sister that smoked nearly a pack a day? He was doomed to pick it up himself. 

“I heard this mornin’ it was-“ 

“Chicken patty’s” you grimace handing him over the foil covered sandwich. “I didn’t get the fries - the geese are gonna have heart failure cus’a’you” you teased, opening your own and digging the 6 crumpled ketchup packets from your pocket, handing him 2 (you got the extra to wolf down the public school garbage because you made the walk up to the line, and all the way outside for him) 

“They deserve a little happiness y’know?! N-no worse than bread- vegetables are healthy!” He teased, taking the sandwich and muttering a little “Ugh” as he unwrapped it and smeared the 2 packets under the bun before closing it. “After school you wanna go T-T’the restaurant w’me?” He took a big bite. It was shit but it was something that got us through the grueling, sticky Chicago spring schoolday. 

“Mmhm” you hummed “parents outta town- Y’can sleep over if you want after. “ you nudge his hip with your own playfully. He’d been content with staying home lately, for whatever reason, but you wanted your Carmy time back. You’d figured you’d give it one more try 

“Uh-“ he started and you took a deep breath, eyes fixed on your dirty old black and white converse “N-Nat needs help w-with-“ 

“Save it” you snip, leaning against the bleachers and staring out at the pond next to the soccer field. He’d been doing this for the past months, when he used to be at your house every day, making up stupid games together and showing you how to cook his family's favorite recipes- lately, he’d just been going straight home after school and didn’t tell you why. 

“H-Hey-“ he reached out, touching your arm gently and you jerked it away. While his touch used to be comforting, now it felt like it burnt. You’d been having a crush on him for years and it felt like the ultimate knife to the gut he couldn’t see it, and didn’t reciprocate it. It hurt even worse it felt like your best friend in the whole wide world (and your only friend) had recently started ignoring you.

“Just don’t, Carmen.” You muttered, taking another bite of your sandwich. “Gotta get t’health.” You said after a few beats of silence, heading back to the school. It was one of the 2 classes once a week you didn’t have together due to your last names, and usually the worst periods of the week. But this time, it felt like a relief. 

That was the last time you’d ever met him for lunch. 3 months before the end of your senior year, and 7 years of being attached at the hip somehow fizzled to nothing more then longing glances in the hallway, and staring eachother down at graduation. 

Your mom and dad were ultimately confused when you told them you wanted to leave as soon as you’d walked the stage, not caring in the least to go to Carmys grad party - and that confused them even more. It just turned into a bratty screaming match started by your teen self, telling them how they had to ‘butt out of your life’ and to ‘Mind their own stupid business!!!’ Even though they were just concerned you were now completely ignoring the boy they had taken in as a son, and were giving him the cold shoulder when since the sixth grade the two of you had been nothing short of inseparable. 

Then - when you had started working at The Beef - as a favor for Mikey, when he had called - asking if you needed a job your first summer off from college, of course you said yes. And then Carmy took that news…. Worse then you could have ever thought. 

The fight you had the night he’d found out in the back alley of The Beef was burned into your memory since it happened. The angry accusations of you ‘having a crush on his older brother and wanting to fuck him since you were in school’ or ‘trying to weasel your way back into his life when he’d made it clear he hated that you were so ‘obsessed’ with him’ it had literally made you throw up in frustration and sadness and utter disbelief when he stomped off, face red and veins bulging in anger. 

The 5 words though that were seared into your brain ‘How fucking could you?, squish?!’ nearly choking on your childhood name, Tears streaming down his flushed pink cheeks. You never knew it would hurt him so badly that you worked at The Beef, you truly thought you were just doing a good favor for a man who was a big brother to you. Not betraying your best friend in the world, the boy you’d loved for so many years. 

You’d tried calling Carmy, only to be met with the generic voicemail message each and every time. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you wished him well, told him how much you missed him, missed your stupid inside jokes - you missed your bear. 

When Mikey killed himself.. it was easy to say you were a mess. Mikey was the one who coaxed you through Carmys leaving, letting you know it was ok, that he was just ‘bein’ a lil’ bitch’ and he’d come to his senses soon enough. But he didn’t. And Mikey got sicker. And no matter how much you tried, how many times you called Carmy after a hard shift, or after stumbling into Mikey in the back freezer with a fucking disposable tourniquet tied around his arm, nodding off, begging Carmy to come home through your tears. Pleading, sobbing into the phone for minutes at a time that his brother was fucking killing himself - you never got a call back. 

The day Carmy had come home, well - the day he started working at the beef. You were there early, per usual. You liked the 6-3:30 shift as you were out before the busiest time of day, and had maintained this shift since college. You had your degrees, you were going to be leaving after you’d graduated to start a real adult life instead of slinging stupid beef sandwiches for less-than-favorable pay - and then Mikey died. And you were the only one who knew how to do the books at the beef, before you taught Natalie. 

It wasn’t a surprise that Mikey was laundering money through the place, but what was a surprise was he left the place to his idiot little brother who’d abandoned his whole entire family to go do his stupid Executive chef-de-bullshit while everyone drowns in Chicago without him. You highly doubted that he would be able to manage the moving of money Mikey had taught you, but Nat was the only sister you’d ever known- so when she sobbed to you after mike died and she found out it was left to Carmy, and begged you to teach him how everything works- you couldn’t deny your big sis.  

“S-squish?” You heard behind you, and you nearly dropped the entire pan of beef you’d chopped into the large pan you were holding to marinate for the day. Your heart felt like it had been replaced with a hummingbird and its wings were beating so hard against your chest you were sure if you turned he would see it in your throat.

“Uh-“ you started, deciding it was better to not look at him, since tears would likely spring to your eyes. What did he look like in real life now? Was he really so…big? Was he really no longer that skinny, awkward little bear you once knew? “N-no one really calls me that- anymore…only Richie.” You grabbed the bowl of pre chopped onions that you’d grabbed from the fridge, tearing off the plastic wrap that had yesterdays date written on it, crumpling it up and dumping the vegetables over the meat before grabbing the bowl of chopped green peppers and doing the same. 

“So I can’t call y’the name I gave you?” He chides, that old edge of playfulness to his tone you missed so much. It made your heart clench. 

“The last person to use that regular was your brother” you said and that quickly shut him up as you mixed together the meat and veggies with a large spoon after adding the pre made spice mix, the last of the pre made spice mix that Mikey had left, tears brimming your eyes at the realization, shaking your head a bit hoping to will them away. 

“Fuck” he said, barely audible. There was a sadness to his tone, easily picked up by you. This was your first love. How could you not remember every single thing about him?! “Squish I’m-“ 

“Just save it. You’re here to work, right?” You looked back at him finally, and your breath nearly got caught in your throat. He was so… tall. You always teased him that he was just a late bloomer, and would grow into himself just like Mikey did - but he would constantly deny it and tell you he’d just be stuck being ‘a shrimp’ forever.

But fuck had he grown. And he has grown well. He finally grew into his nose, which you wanted to immediately poke fun at him for, his lips were still the same pouty thin ones you’d remembered - but his body. It made your mouth water. 

You’d seen it once, as he’d seen yours. You were sophomores in high school, awkward, fumbling teens that agreed to lose your virginity together. But back then he was lanky, hairless, soft. Now? He was a full grown man. 

“Mmhmm” he hummed, sounding like a child scolded but you could barely recognize the tone of his voice now that you’ve met his face. A man. 

“Carmen” you said softly and his eyes met yours again, recognizing the tears in them 

“Don’t cry, squish” he said just above a whisper, “M’sorry…” he admitted, carefully reaching up and thumbing away your tears. 

“Oh Carm” you broke down, dropping the spoon you were holding onto the bowl and practically collapsing into his arms in choked sobs. 

“I know” he said quietly, gently petting your hair just like he did when you were little. 

“He’s dead Carm, where were you? Where the fuck were you? I called you, Bear! He was sick!” you sobbed mercilessly into his shirt, letting everything out you held in at the funeral to maintain your cool for Donna and Sugar since they were blubbering messes.. You could hear the thick tears in his voice when he whispered a strained 

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Squishy- So sorry” 

Your little moment was interrupted though, by a small voice - 

“Hi! Hey- uh..Hello- sorry- I was um…I got a call - yesterday, about an interview, for an um- a Sous position?” your head shot up from Carmys shoulder, seeing a tall brown-skinned girl with braids smiling awkwardly,  eyes flickering between you and Carm, clearly looking uncomfortable. You would be too, you realized - if you walked in to your supposed-to-be interview, to see your potential boss being cried on by one of his employees.

“Shit- uh” he pulled away quickly, walking up to her and extending a hand. You decided to go to the back of the kitchen to the changing area to have a few swigs from your water bottle and calm down. You didn’t need to relish in the sting that was him dropping you so fast for another girl, even if you were short staffed and you did need the help.

You shook your head, wiping over your tears and taking a few large gulps of water. Teach him how to move the money, and quit. Thats all you have to do, easy right? 

No.

Not at all, actually- fucking impossible. 

Carmen had been bad at math, horrible at it  - actually, so teaching him how to run the books - with Richies explicit instructions to not make him aware his Uncle and Brother were washing blood money through the restaurant - so to try and explain why the electric costed 120K a month for a hole in the wall like The Beef was getting frustrating, because when Carmy didn’t understand something- he asked never ending questions until he got it. Thats what had you and Carmy, sitting in the back office together at nearly 8 PM, going over the books for what felt like the millionth time.

“So - so the General electric, lets go over one more time squish - I’m still.. Why would Mike have done that? An-an’ why we payin f’r a system that y’say isn’t workin’ anymore? Cant we just like- negotiate? Ask uncle jimmy t’fix it?” he tapped his pencil on the desk absentmindedly as he looked over the spiral notebook you’d written the monthly ‘bills’ on, trying to explain it to him without giving away anything he didn’t need to know like Richie instructed.

You groaned, rubbing over your face frustratedly and rubbing your temples. He was gonna give you a migraine asking these same god-damn questions. “Bear- i’m tired- my shift ended like…four hours ago! I was supposed to be on a facetime date” you groan, dragging your hands down your cheeks dramatically.

“The hell is a facetime date?” he asked, that gigglyness in his voice he’d take on when he was making fun of you when you were little.

“You lost the privilege of fucking with me when you ran away” you look over at him, a frown unknowingly etched in your features.

He met your eyes, biting at his lip the way he did, blinking a few too many times as he looked down at your lips before meeting your eyes again. “I never was running from you, squish” he said, his voice taking on that softness you fucking hated because you loved it so much.

“Yeah? Sure fucking felt like it- and for your information, a facetime date is a date you do when someone isn’t close enough to go on a real date. So…yeah. Anyway- like I said - the arcade costs-” he cut you off

“So…where’s this guy live?” he questioned. “You really can’t date a guy in Chicago? Y’gotta go f’r long distance?” he asked, a little smirk on his face. The kind that would have had you wanting to crash your lips into his when you were teens, but now it just made you want to cry at all the lost time, what you could have been if you just told him you’d loved him that night, that the reason you accepted the job was so that hed fucking look at you again. 

“Why the fuck does it matter to you? You stopped giving a fuck about me - what, Tell me fancy pants CDC? How long has it been since you gave a fuck” You got up, grabbing your jacket. “Like I fucking said, Carmen, My shift ended hours ago. I’ve explained this to you multiple times. If you’re still too focused on Paris, or- or Copenhagen - Or fucking Noma- to not understand how to run your familys piece of shit? Isn’t that what you called it- huh? Why don’t you go and ask the fucking sibling you have left how to do it, yea? She’s been trying to call you, We all were- but it’s not like you give a fuck- like I said- figure it out, Bear- and consider this my formal fucking 2 weeks. I’m done in this shithole” you threw your wadded up apron at his chest and slammed the office door shut behind you, stomping off to the lockers to gather your things and go the hell home. 

The next week and a half of work felt much like high school. You and Carmy were in the same exact room, forced to work together most of the time - but not a word was exchanged that wasn't absolutely necessary between the two of you. It wasn’t until the night before your last day, he was brave enough to say something to you. It was after closing, you’d picked up a double since 2 line cooks had called out and you already knew how to hold up pace without any training. You could use the money anyway, the pay was absolute garbage - the only reason you ever put up with it was because Michael was family to you. “So uh…” Carmy starts as he put on his plaid coat, shoving his work clothes in his backpack “How was y’r um… facetime date?” he asked, shoving in his chefs clogs last before zipping the bag shut.

You bit your lip, continuing to fill your tote bag with the remainders from your locker. You wanted to just leave as soon as the clock struck 3:30 tomorrow and never look back, forget Carmen was ever a part of your life. Being around him again brought back that sharp ache deep in your chest that you’d picked up in school when you began ignoring eachother, for why? You cant even remember- other then him shrugging you off to hang out that one last time, and you ignoring him the rest of that week, and it just kept going. You realized the first you’d spoken since then was his first day back, and you couldn’t get that fact out of your head. 

“He never texted me back so- yeah” you folded up a pair of work jeans, shoving them in the bag

“Oh- shit- m’sorry, squish. Guys can be real assholes” he replied. And while you know it was supposed to be friendly and him just trying to console you, It really just pissed you off. 

“Yeah- You would know” you grate quietly, continuing to pack your bag. He frowned in that cure Carmy way, shutting his locker and putting his backpack on his shoulder. Luckily the two of you were the only ones there tonight, so no one had to be present for you unpleasant bickering.

“Are you ever gonna hear me out? Er’ you’re just gonna freeze me out forever?” he asked, his voice laced with genuine hurt. But you couldn’t help but laugh coldly, shaking your head.

“Freeze you out? Freeze you out? Well if this week has been anything like the past few years? I hope it feels half as shit as I’ve felt. Glad you’re finally getting the message, I want nothing to do with you. I don’t stay where i’m not wanted, plus- aren’t I just a whore who took a job to make passes at your older brother- who by the fucking way was literally nearly 10 years older then us? That is just…gross Carmy! Mikey was as much an older brother, a fucking protector as he was to you, and to Nat- as he was to me- I loved you! I fucking loved you, Carmy! And you-” You took a shaking breath, turning to look at him and he was pale as a ghost at your admission.

“And you froze me out first, you- you stopped calling, in school carmen all those fucking years ago? You stopped, and - and when I didn’t come to the bleachers you didn’t try to find me! You just-” you met his eyes once again but couldn’t find them as they were squeezed shut and that 17 year old was right back in front of you, nervously shaking his hand and tears streaming down his cheeks. “Fuck- Bear I didn’t mean t-” 

“D-Don’t” he brushed past you, the familiar smell of smoke and pine and sandalwood hitting your nose, the same Cologne Mikey wore. 

“Carmy” you rushed after him as he made a b-line for the office. 

“You’re right, Squish- go home” he rasped, his voice thick with tears and regret. Your heart broke in that moment. Your chest also bubbled with anger, because - you were right?!

“I’m right?” you asked and he sniffled, attempting to shut the door on you but you shoved it open “Look at me - Look at me and fucking tell me that you meant what you said Carmen!” he sat at the desk, burrying his face in his hands and rubbing over it. 

“Just fuck off Squish! I mean it- go!” He was getting louder now, but there it was again, Squish.

“If you meant what you said- call me by my name” You challenge, nudging his sneaker to get his attention, just how you did when his head would be down in english class when he didn’t want to be noticed so he wasnt picked to read out loud.

“What?” he looked up at you finally, his big blue eyes red and tear stained, rims watery and long sandy colored lashes clinging to stray smaller tears. He looked so sad, and you thought again for the first time since he left that night all those years ago, that you wanted to kiss those tears away.

“You- you keep calling me squish” you shrug a bit “If you really mean what you said - if- if you think I got this job to whore around with Michael?! Call me by my real name. The name the rest of the staff call me- the name people who aren’t a fuckin’ Bear call me.” you challange, a lump growing in your throat as he stared you down.

“Did you mean it?” He asked, voice just barely above a whisper. You knew exactly what he meant, and you were pretty sure your heart was gonna fly out of your throat any second- or you were gonna throw up all over the floor and embarrass yourself - 50/50 

“You- you go first, I asked first” You said and he ran a hand through his hair, greasy from the day before digging in his pocket and pulling out a spare quarter 

“Heads er’ tails?” he asked, and you couldnt help but crack a tiny smile. This- this was normal. In high school, when you’d both ask eachother a question and neither wanted to answer first - even though technically the person who asked first should be the first to get an answer, you both decided to let the universe decide who’d be the first to get an answer.

“You gotta be kidding- you remember that?” You leaned on the desk and he looked up at you, panic mostly gone from his eyes and you knew you still had your bear-taming charm as Mikey called it when you were kids, since you were the only other person to be able to calm Carmy down.

“Are you kidding? I remember everything” he retorts “I call heads then” he flipped it and you gasp, smile growing a bit and you nudge his knee with yours, the gesture causing warmth to flood his cheeks as he flips the coin 

“I thought it’s always ladies first?” you teased and he flipped it on to his hand, keeping it covered. 

“Y’re too slow” he cracked a small smile, before revealing the quarter was heads side up and looking up at you expectantly. That heartbeat that could also be vomit reappeared, and your chest got tight. 

“Yes” you said simply, realizing you’d said loved - not love, not a current state of being, even though it never really went away. When he came back that first day, and you were right back to using all your old coded language and laughing over old jokes - you’d realized the love never really died, you’d just shoved it down as deep as it could go.

“Of course I didn’t mean that bullshit, Squish. I was….so fuckin stupid- I was - I am a fuckin idiot. I- I changed my fuckin number and I didn’t bother to load my contacts cause…I thought you hated me - But I- I never stopped…” he met your eyes again. 

Oh god, your heart was really coming out of your throat right now

“Never stopped….loving me? You- you loved me?” you asked bravely, feeling as if you might pass out - or die - or both if he said no. 

He nodded silently, his gaze fixed on the floor ever so shyly, Classic Carmy, the Cowardly Bear

“Well- which- which is it?” you asked, you weren’t going to let his shyness cheat you out of a real answer.

“I- um…I never stopped” he finally met your eyes.

You felt as if you still may pass out, or die, or both at this admission. 

Instead of that though, you leaned in, cupping his stubbly cheeks. His breath hitched, so did yours - you weren’t even sure you were breathing, the last time you’d been this close was - well, Sophomore year of high school , when you both vowed to never speak of it again, since you were both unsure how the other felt - and much too shy to say anything about it in case of rejection or being viewed as ‘weird’ by one another. You leaned in, the smell of cigarettes and mint on his breath from the gum he would chew instead of eating on meal breaks after a cigarette. 

His eyes fluttered shut “I’ve thought about this every day” he whispers, breath fanning your lips gently. You rest your forehead on his, closing your eyes and your noses bumped sweetly. “Can I please kiss you?” he asked, his voice soft and wanting. 

“You don’t have to ask” you said and leaned in, finally meeting his lips. He pulled you closer, you were practically on his lap. It felt as natural as falling into bed at the end of a long day moving your lips with his, your fingers easily finding his curls and combing out the little knots from the day, causing him to groan softly into your mouth. You smiled a bit, straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. 

You sighed in relief as he wrapped his arms around your waist, slipping his tongue over your bottom lip, you hummed- opening for him and moaning softly as he ran his tongue over yours, enjoying your taste as well as you were enjoying his. He was the same as you remembered, you’d fantasized about doing this with him again every time you got off - or just every time you were daydreaming in general. You weren’t sure who broke the kiss first, but you both needed to breathe, so it was for the best.

“I still love you, too”

[staybabblingbaby]

Soulmate Garden AU Ch.4 (Lewisia) a2d3 Addition Post (+1,308 words)

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: Growing up, you knew Soulmates weren't all that they cracked up to be. So when, on your 18th birthday, your skin is painted with a garden of flower buds, you resolve to hide it from everyone. Who had ever heard of someone with 8 soulmates, anyway?

Or; Reader has 8 soulmates and no issue avoiding all of them. It's up to SKZ to show her that while every soulbond might not be made of fairy tales, theirs certainly could be.

Word Count: 2,866

TO THE UNAWARE: THIS IS A PROGRESS UPDATE OF A CHAPTER NOT REMOTELY CLOSE TO DONE! PLEASE DON'T EXPECT A FULL OR POLISHED PRODUCT HERE

Notes: The first addition post in the history of the archive! Huzzah! This chapter just keeps growing, I was expecting this to be shorter than Lino's chapter, but I think it's gonna be quite a bit longer. Some genuine editing notes - I think the transition into the flashback is a bit awkward and I would like to smooth out the whole morning sequence. I'm not even 100% sure what that vibe is and it shows. I also don't like the complete change in Reader's mood while she's talking to Jake, so I either have to make her morning more lighthearted or show her shoving her feelings down somehow. I genuinely operate like this, just code switching between private emotions and public face, so idk. What do y'all think? Is it was weird and jarring as I think it is? I also need to find a place to mention that this Stray Kid (dunno if I've mentioned who it is yet - obscuring just in case some of you haven't gotten it yet) is wearing a mask. I completely forgot to, but it's important for later. At a point in this one where I think I need another pair of eyes. Writing by yourself is hard :c

Dividers by @saradika

Warnings: She/Her Reader, Flashback (yelling), pls lmk if this needs smthn more specific

Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks <3

Masterlist <3 | Main Part (Unfinished </3)

The next morning marks a return to routine.

You roll out of bed half awake, sleep-mused and ready for murder. Your mood isn’t improved by the way you’d gone to bed - still in your work clothes with day-after mascara gluing your eyelids together.

A quick stop by the restroom to strip and scrub your face is a necessity, otherwise you’re liable to just crawl back into bed and rot there. You brush your teeth while you’re there, doing your best to ignore the remaining traces of grey streaks down your cheeks where your eyeliner hadn’t been as water-proof as advertised.

You don’t even know why you’d cried. After all, it’s not like you were the one rejected by your soulmate for no reason.

You do your best to shake off the maudlin feeling of the morning, ambling your way into the kitchen. As tired as you are, you still spot your twenty on the counter where you’d left it. You press your lips together to stop the bottom one from trembling and open the fridge. There’s a plate of eggs, fruit, and toast inside.

Taylor, freak of nature that he is, has been up for hours already, you know. He’d probably been up and out the door before the sun had even thought about rising. Weirdo.

your roommate is well aware of how non-functional you can be in the morning, so it’s not unusual of him to leave you leftovers when he makes breakfast. The little note on top isn’t new either, usually a reminder, grocery list, or a little encouragement for your day. The whole thing makes you smile, usually.

Today that little note makes your eyes prick with a new wave of tears.

‘Give yourself a chance. Bet’s still on <3’

You very deliberately do NOT cry, though it’s a near thing. You’d done enough crying last night. But if you sniffle a bit into your eggs, well. That’s for you to know, isn’t it?

You leave the money where it is.

It’s a Tuesday, so after breakfast you drag yourself back to your room to throw on your largest, rattiest, t-shirt and a pair of leggings to head to the gym.

You can’t help it when eyes catch on the newly-bloomed marks on your skin as you strip away your sleepwear. You take a moment to wonder why looking at your mark, a daily ritual you’ve kept for years, feels odd to you.

It occurs to you, only after several long seconds of staring blankly at your stomach, that you hadn’t taken the time to look at your mark at all since since you’d met your first soulmate. Things have been... hectic, to say the least.

It’s no wonder looking at it feels weird. It might as well be a whole new mark, for all the changes that have happened since you last saw it.

You decide, in the name of returning to your routine for good, that you can’t skip even this tiny part of your daily rituals.

You shuffle over to your closet, swinging open the door to reveal the full-length mirror hanging on the other side. You don’t bother with your usual rounds of self-depreciation or daily affirmations. Instead, you find your eyes glued to droopy purple petals and blankets of white stars across your abdomen.

The names of the flowers come to mind with ease as you trace gentle fingers over echoes of delicate petals. ‘Bellflowers’ You recite to yourself, drawing your finger up thin stalks and back down dipped heads. ‘Edelweiss’ you muse, lightly tapping each fuzzy white star.

The knowledge comes easily to you, not from any cosmic force, but because of course it does. Your sister hadn’t been wrong when she’d said that asking a person’s favorite flower had been basically an obsession of yours.

The habit had started well before you’d gotten your mark. Before you’d even properly known what soulmates were, really.

Gardening with your mother had started as a way for her to drag you out of the house to get some sun while keeping an easy eye on you. Before your sister was born you’d spent many a joyous afternoon learning to work the soil beside your mother.

After the advent of your favorite gremlin, you’d spent those afternoons tending to the family garden alone.

You remember being grateful to the newborn back then. Those solitary afternoons were some of the most peaceful in your memory.

At some point the ‘family garden’ had become more ‘your garden’. Your mother wouldn’t even bother to plan it out with you by your sister’s toddler years. She’d drive you to the store, hand you a bit of cash, and leave it all in your tiny hands.

You’d spend hours researching the best ways to nurture your plants. What flowers liked being planted together, which ones should be separated. You learned about soil types and the nutrients found in them. You learned about ph. values, how to measure them, and why they mattered. Anything to have your garden thriving more brightly, more beautifully, for longer.

If you weren’t in the garden you were in the library by your house, nose buried in a gardening book.

You vividly remember the day it all went wrong.

It hadn’t even been that dramatic, as you recall. At least, not in terms of your parent’s usual fights. It was heartbreak- despair- that marked the day, instead of fear.

You’d been digging up weeds, clawing up deep roots with your gloved hands and a trowel, when your father had come storming outside. You don’t even remember what he’d said. Something about you always taking your mother’s side because of your shared hobby, you think.

Never mind that the woman hadn’t put so much as a toenail to the dirt since your sister had been born.

He hadn’t let up for quite a while, if memory serves. Stood there yelling at you in your safe space for close to an hour. Maybe two, but your child-brain couldn’t be trusted with the time. It might have just been minutes, now that you think about it.

Nonetheless, he’d yelled and yelled and yelled. He hadn’t trampled on or broken anything, hadn’t even made sense. And yet, when he’d finally left, everything was different.

The blooms you’d worked so hard to nurture were no longer beautiful, and the soil you’d once called home was no longer safe.

You hadn’t tended another garden after that season. You’d seen your plants to winter, and you’d let go. You’d turned away from the sun and soil and leaned into your books and silly questions to fill the hole left behind.

You’re sure you left claw marks in the dirt.

Something like a gentle humming fills your soul, and you notice how tightly you're clutching the garden around your waist. You gingerly pry your hands away and study the crescent moons you’ve left behind, soft skin indented where petals should have ripped.

You wonder if you’ll leave claw-marks in this garden too.

You tear your eyes away from the mirror, ignoring the gentle tingling up your side where your fingers had dug in. You quickly toss on a camisole, forgoing your usual privacy wraps, and your t-shirt over that.

There was nothing for emptying your mind quite like running yourself into the ground at the gym. With full awareness that you’re going to regret your gym session later, you flee your apartment.

Maybe jogging all the way to gym wasn’t such a great idea. It’d sounded fantastic at the time, a head start on your cardio and a way to remove yourself from your negative headspace before you tried to toss around weights you barely knew how to use.

It had sort of worked, but now you hadn’t even entered the building and you were already a sweaty, panting, mess.

After guzzling down half of your water bottle you enter the building, resignation in your heart. Cardio wasn’t even your focus today.

The automatic doors slide open with their usual swish, and you’re greeted by the familiar stale smell all gyms seem to share, no matter how clean. It’s comforting, even if you do wish you could go home already.

There’s someone already at the receptionist’s desk when you approach, talking in slow and measured English. You try not to be annoyed with the tiny delay, but your mood really hadn’t been helped by running from your thoughts, no matter what you’d hoped.

Alas, you’ve ventured into the public and so you’ve encountered a member of the public. Shocker. You cross your arms and bite back irritation that this complete stranger hadn’t done anything to earn.

Luckily enough, the low and measured cadence of the stranger’s voice is soothing enough to zone out to. Unfortunately, your latest obstacle is the only thing around to rest your eyes on, and so you find yourself studying his form.

His back is broad and built, huge biceps on display in a tight fitting black t-shirt. You kinda wanna squish them.

A vivid tattoo sleeve runs all the way down to his wrist, and you find your stare glued to it. Large boldly colored flowers take up the majority of the space, vague outlines of crashing waves and rolling mists fills in the rest in a luxurious combination of oriental art styles.

You can’t help but think it doesn’t look finished.

Dragging your eyes away from such beautiful ink is quite a task, but you don’t want to seem judgmental for your admiration. That arduous labor is made infinitely easier by how fine the man himself is.

You really can’t help the way your eyes trace up and down his form. It should be impossible, you think, to somehow bulk up in only the right places, but by Jove his man has done it. You’re quite jealous, honestly.

Your eyes come to a rest on the stranger’s backside. Quite jealous, indeed.

You try to shake yourself from your admiration, reminding yourself that there were very many well-muscled men in this place and that you’d always endeavored to keep a polite line-of-sight, even when they don’t. It hadn’t even been a hard ask, until now. You drag your gaze back up to the back of his head.

You’d be polite if it killed you. Even if neither the stranger or the scrawny receptionist had noticed your wandering gaze.

Especially then.

While you were.... distracted... the man’s conversation with the receptionist seemed to be going a whole lot of nowhere. From what you can gather, he’s looking for a short-term membership, and the receptionist is trying to tell him they don’t do that.

You know this to be true, even the trial period was an entire month. You’d specifically chosen this gym for that reason. If you hadn’t been able to stick it out for a month, you know you’d have never used the place enough to justify a membership.

Your sympathies to this stranger, it seems he really just needs a little less than a week. You know there are some no-commitment type places not too far though, so you wonder why he’s stuck on this place.

Their back and forth goes a while longer, but it’s evident that the beautifully-built stranger can’t really argue his case properly. Whether because of the obvious language barrier he’s working with, or because he’s run out of arguments, you can’t be sure.

Eventually he steps to the side to make a call, and you’re able to approach the counter.

The receptionist (you think his name is Jake. The owner’s nephew, if you recall correctly) looks relieved to see you after whatver hassling the stranger had given him. He lazily waves the clipboard and it’s sign-in sheet at you in greeting. You take the clipboard, trading him your membership card and driver’s license for it, and turn to prop your knee up on the counter to balance it while you write. Incidentally, your choice of position keeps the stranger in your line of sight.

You magnanimously ignore Jake’s gaze wandering to your chest, if only because you’re still looking not-so-respectfully at the tattooed stranger a few feet away.

“So what was that all about?” You ask him as you hand back the clipboard. He shrugs at you as he types a second longer.

“Some big-shot who needs a security detail,” He answers, unimpressed, “Says this is the only gym in, like, five miles of his hotel that he doesn’t need an entourage to go to.”

You hum your understanding, now trying to place if the handsome stranger was someone you knew of.

Such situations weren’t uncommon for this gym. Celebrities that actually lived in LA weren’t spotted here very often but, since it was settled very close to quite a few high-security luxury hotels, the building saw it’s fair share of famous faces.

Security was kept quite tightly, and a certain code of conduct was expected amongst the gym’s members. It was another justification for the long trial period, wherein one could only access the front room with the basic weights and machines. All the fancy stuff (including a pool, rock wall, dance studio, and all sorts) was in the back.

It was also another reason you yourself were a patron here. The high security and strict standards made for a quiet and comfortable atmosphere.

At least, as long as you ignored the judgmental stares.

“What’s the issue, then?” You question Jake, “Doesn’t the owner make exceptions for high-profile clients?” You phrase it as a question, but you know he does. The unfamiliar faces that pop up for a few days every now and then wouldn’t show up otherwise.

Jake just sighs like he’s had this conversation a thousand times. Considering the celebrity (?) waving his hands around as he spoke rapidly into his phone not far away, maybe he had.

“He does, but he’s out of town and no one else can adjust the contracts.” He eventually explains. He finally hands you your stuff back, and you hum consideringly as you put the cards back in your wallet.

Another glance at the furrowed brows on the stranger’s masked face has pity welling up your throat.

You turn your gaze to focus on Jake.

“Do I still have that visitor pass?” You ask him, knowing that he still has your details up. Jake glances at you with a raised eyebrow, but obligingly checks the computer.

“Yup,” He confirms, “You’ve been paying for it since you dragged your poor roommate in here that one time. Why?”

“Can he use it?” you nod your head to the frustrated stranger. From where you’re sat, still perched on the edge of the desk, it looks oddly like he’s begging whoever’s on the other line.

Jake levels you with his most deadpan stare. It’s quite a good one, completely unimpressed. You think it must be something about customer service that allows him to make that face. Or maybe it’s just you.

“You realize that your visitor pass is you vouching for your visitor’s character, right?” He reminds you, “If he does anything, breaks anything, pisses off the wrong lifeguard it’ll be on your head.”

You just shrug. It’s not like you couldn’t find a new gym if you had to. You’d miss this one, with it’s quiet atmosphere and abundant amenities, but you didn’t require it’s security and discretion like some of the other clients did.

“I’ve got a good feeling about it.” Is all you tell Jake. It’s not even a lie.

The poor boy just rolls his eyes at you. He still turns to rifle through the desk for the right form for you to fill out though, so you’ll take it.

“You a fan of his or something?” Jake asks as he hands you a different clipboard.

“Nope!” You answer cheerfully, starting to fill out the form, “No idea who he is.”

Jakes huffs an incredulous laugh, and turns a considering gaze on your new friend. And the stranger does have to be a friend now, because “some guy” is not an option on your paperwork.

“I bet he’s a wrestler,” he finally says after a long moment, “Or a sportswear model.”

You gently bop him on the head with your clipboard, “I refuse to participate in your speculation.” You admonish, ignoring his whining.

“I’ll show you his picture when you leave,” He smirks back, “and whatever google says about him.” He shrugs when you send him a cutting glare, “It’s not speculation then.”

“Respect your customer’s privacy, you weirdo.” You scold. He just laughs as you hand him the form, all filled out and just waiting for the stranger’s signature. You know full well that Jake will go through with it, regardless of what you say, so you give up easily.

He won’t get fired as long as you don’t blab outside of the gym. Privileges of nepotism. You exchange farewells as you hop off the counter, and he begins to wave over Mr. Celebrity. You meet the eyes of you on-paper friend and offer him a quick nod before you scuttle off deeper into the building.

Hopefully he’d be too grateful of your offer to find you terribly strange.

I could really use some feedback for this one, if y'all have the time. 人´∀｀) Especially regarding my dialogue and transitions. plsplspls I would be so grateful. My comments, dms, and ask box are all open

[buriednurbckyrd]

Nothing Stays the Same Forever: Chapter 5

previous

It was difficult to walk to work the next day. She wondered every time anyone glanced at her if they had been at the bar the previous night.  Logically, she knew that no one was paying any attention to her.  She didn’t have much of a relationship with most of the Jackson residents so they probably just knew her in passing.  But she still felt vulnerable and exposed, and by the time she made it to her quiet little work room she was overwhelmed with the wish that she had just stayed home.  Still, now she was there, she had made it.  With a sigh, she began to set up for her day.  

There were a few bags to be looked through that a group had brought back from a scavenging expedition.  She busied herself going through the clothing; sorting what could be washed and used right away, what needed patching or repair, and what was only good for scraps or rags.  It was all in good condition, including several pairs of mens jeans that still had store tags on them.  It was a great find, they rarely came across anything that was still “new” after twenty years of post apocalyptic living.  

After taking everything to the laundry and starting a few loads in the washers she was startled when she ran, quite literally, into Ellie who was coming out of her work room as she was going back in. 

“I’m so sorry!”  She said, when she realized what had just happened.  

“S’no worry,” the girl said.  “I wasn’t paying attention.”  

“Were you looking for me?”  Y/N asked, gesturing at the doorway.  Ellie nodded and followed her inside.  

“Wanted to make sure you were okay.”  The girl stuck her hands in her pockets and scuffed her boots against the floor.  “Heard people talkin’.”  Y/N felt her heart drop into her stomach.  She sat down and scrubbed her hands over her face.  

“I was afraid of that.  Word spreads fast I guess.”  

“It’s mostly about Joel.”  Ellie told her.  “Some of the kids at school heard he killed a guy.”  

“What?” Y/N’s head snapped up in shock.

“Of course he didn’t,” she rolled her eyes.  “Tommy told me what really happened.  Didn’t want to, but he did anyway.  Joel just broke the guy's arm, but people are idiots.”  Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.  He broke his arm?  Ellie must have seen her confused expression.  “Oh, I guess you didn’t know that.”  She shook her head.  

“I didn’t.  I left pretty quickly.”  Ellie hopped up to sit on the work table, nudging Y/N’s knee with the toe of her boot.  

“But you know why Joel got so mad.  Tommy wouldn’t tell me but he let it slip you were there with him.”  

“Please, Ellie.  I really don’t want to talk about it.”  Just thinking about last night had tears prickling at the back of her eyes.  

“Well… The thing is,”  Ellie began, sounding uncomfortable.  “It’s my fault.”  

“Huh?  You weren’t there, of course it’s not.”  The girl chewed at her thumb nail.  

“I cut the lining in Joel’s coat.  So he would have to come see you.”  More confusion

rolled around in her head.  She thought back to the jacket, and how the seam had looked like it had been cut, instead of ripped like most of the repair jobs she received.  

“Why?” 

“Because he looks at you, watches for you.  And he listens when Maria or Tommy talk about you like he’s interested.  He pretends he isn’t but he is.”  Y/N didn’t know how to respond, too many thoughts happening all at once.  

“It still isn’t your fault, sweetheart.” She finally said.  “You didn’t make anyone say those horrible things to me.”  

“Ah-HA!”  Ellie jumped down.  “I knew it was something about you!  See?  Joel likes you and he like, defended your honor.  Like those dudes in your books.  But you got hurt and if I hadn’t ripped his stupid coat you wouldn’t have.”  Her fists clenched at her sides.  

“Ellie, sweetie,” she sighed.  “It would have happened sooner or later.  It’s something I’ve dealt with my whole life.  Maybe I thought Jackson would be a different kind of place, but the fact is there are folks that are gonna be nasty no matter where I go.”  She took one of Ellie’s hands into her own and loosened the girl’s fingers.  “You don’t need to carry that on your shoulders.”

“I heard Tommy tell Maria you looked so sad and hurt.  I would have broken more than that guy’s arm.”  For the first time since the whole ugly incident, Y/N laughed.  

“You know I really like you, kid.”  

“You don’t hate me?”

“Nah.  Can’t hate someone when they wanna break bones because some dumb guy was mean to you.”  Ellie’s face broke into a lopsided smirk.  

“Does that mean you like Joel?”  Busted.  

“You’re really sneaky.”  Ellie just shrugged and smirked more.  “I guess it does.  Is that okay with you?”  Another shrug.

“I mean, he’s grumpy as fuck and kinda old but I’m not stoppin’ ya.”  Y/N laughed again, and gave Ellie’s hand a gentle squeeze.  

…

She ended up working until all of the found clothing was washed, sorted, labeled, and stored.  Ellie had left her with a tangled web of thoughts, doubts, and confusion.  What did she mean that he looked at her?  Joel was nearly always on high alert, he watched everyone.  She couldn’t help but wonder if the teenager was setting her up, and the intrusive thoughts shamed her.  Ellie was rough around the edges, but she wasn’t malicious.  Still lost in her own swirling mind, she tidied up and left.  

The days were growing longer as spring edged winter out of Wyoming but it was still mostly dark for her walk home.  The dining hall was still crowded with people, so despite the hunger rumbling in her belly she decided against going there for dinner.  What if the man from last night was there?  She couldn’t stand the idea of running into him.  She was sure she had some bread and cheese left in her kitchen so turning away from the busy town center she started her commute back home.  

It was quiet on the street.  Some of the homes had lights on but they were mostly dark and silent.  She stopped in the road for a moment and looked up into the clear evening sky, the moon was only a sliver, but the stars were endless, and would only grow brighter as darkness fell more completely.  Something about the sight relaxed her, and she felt most of the tension of the last twenty four hours drop away.  Jackson was different, it wasn’t just like every other place in her life.  It wasn’t a cutthroat city, moving so fast you couldn’t stop even for a moment to take a breath.  It wasn’t a rapidly crumbling world, dissolving into disease and war.  It definitely wasn’t the QZ, full of men abusing their positions of power.  Jackson wasn’t perfect, but it was somewhere she was safe enough to pause and look up at the night sky to drink in its beauty.  

“‘Evening.”  Joel’s low voice called out from his porch.  She turned from the stars and smiled at him, leaning against a post and looking every bit the rugged cowboy from a story.  

“Hi.”  She noticed he was by himself.  “Ellie out with her friends?”  

“Movie night.”  For some reason his brief answers charmed her.  She really did like the man.  

“She came by to visit today.”  Y/N took a few steps towards him.  

“Yeah?”  She nodded.

“Had some interesting things to tell me.”  

“Did she?”

“Mmm-hmm.  Apparently that asshole left the bar with a broken arm.”  Joel’s stance went from relaxed to arms crossed across his broad chest.  

“Told you.  He got what he deserved.”  She stopped at the porch step, and tipped her head back to look up at him.  

“You know…no one’s ever stood up for me before.  I mean, I did my best before the world went to shit, but people like that…they like it when you react.  They want to see you get upset, so they know they have some kind of power over you.”  

“People like that are weak.”  His voice was hard.  “Gonna give me a hard time for bustin’ that guy’s arm?”  He looked ready for an argument.  

“No.”  Joel hadn’t expected that response.  

“Hmm.”  

“I don’t usually like violence, I’ve seen enough of it the last twenty years.  But I do like

you, Joel.”  The look in her eyes hit him hard and almost knocked him back on his heels.  “Ellie seems to think you like me too.”  She watched the muscle in his jaw tick.  

“She tell you that?”  

“Well, she says you look at me.”  

“You’re friends with my brother and his wife, you’re around.  Be rude to not look at you.”  

“So you asked me for a drink to be polite.”  He grunted.

“Not what I said.”  

“What are you saying, Joel?”  

“Why do you keep sayin’ my name like that?”  She put one foot up on the step.  

“Like what, Joel?” He gripped her arm and hauled her up to his level, but then seemed to regret the action and let her go like she had burned him. 

“I didn’t mean to…Sorry.”  He took a step backwards.  

“Joel.”  She reached out and touched his wrist.  “You don’t frighten me.”  

“I should.”  He looked at her with blazing eyes.  “You don’t know what I’ve done.”  She nodded in agreement.

“You’re right, I don’t.  But you don’t know what I’ve done either, what I’ve had to do to survive.”  Her right hand clenched and relaxed a few times at her side.  “I’m not here to ask you about what you had to do, and I’m sure as hell not ready to tell you everything about my past either.”  

“Then what are you here for?”  

“Just you.”  She looked down, suddenly shy.  “If you want me to be here, anyway.”  He lifted her chin with his finger.  

“I hate to prove that girl right,”  he said quietly.  “But I do.”  Y/N couldn’t help the nervous giggle that bubbled up in her throat.  

“Well here I am.”  Joel nodded and drew her closer.  

“You really are breathtaking, sweetheart.”

“I want to believe that,” she murmured.  “I’m trying to.”  She could see him looking at her lips, his tongue flashed out and wet his own.  “Please, Joel.” Her whispered plea broke him and he pressed his mouth softly against hers.  She clung to him like a burr, and for a brief moment he felt like a young man again, like they were just two ordinary people sharing a sweet first kiss on a spring evening.  It scared him, but the fear couldn’t overpower his desire to sink further into her embrace.  Something about this timid woman had wrapped around his heart and he didn’t want to try and unravel it.  After all he’d been through, maybe it was time he let himself finally try to find a little peace.  He gently pulled away and stroked his thumb over her neck where his hand had come to rest.  

“Would you like to come in?”  He asked her.  She smiled at him with a dreamy look in her eyes.  

“I’d like to say yes…”  

“But?”  He braced himself for rejection.  She cupped his cheek.  

“I’ve never…done this before.”  She felt her face heat up with embarrassment when she 

saw the meaning of her words sink in.  “I need a little time.”  He looked lost, like for the first time in a long time he couldn’t pretend he knew exactly what to do.  Y/N tugged him back down and kissed him again.  “Ask me again.  Maybe tomorrow.”  Joel’s lips quirked up in a half smile.  

“I can do that.”

[urlocallesbiab]

ok folks, inspired by This Post (thank you for inspiration and ideas, @agent-p-94/@generalized-incompetence!), i present to you:

brotzly fake dating couple's therapy au; in the form of tumblr messages/a campfire story/an unwitten fic rundown

me: the thing is, they'd PASS

within 10 minutes of knowing each other they'd get so PISSED OFF it'd fill up an entire therapy session

just "YOU NEVER SHUT UP" and "YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME" and "I'VE NEVER MET A DUMBER PERSON" and "I'M SICK TO DEATH OF YOU CRITIQUING MY MUSIC TASTE" and "YOUR DRIVING SKILLS ARE GOING TO GET US KILLED I SWEAR TO GOD" nonstop rapid-fire with therapist barely able to squeeze a "gentlemen, please!" inbetween

and then they'd stumble out of the building and LAUGH, laugh so hard they'd be clinging to each other near falling to the ground, todd croaking that this is the best stress-release activity he'd done in YEARS, dirk clutching his stomach and crying and highlighting the best of todd insults

both would admit this is the BEST first date ever and schedule the next therapy session

every time they'd spend like 10-30 minutes getting to know each other better, and then full 45 just kvetching, sometimes just YELLING at the top of their lungs to their hearts' delight at the therapist office

agent: The best of Todd insults!!! Omg

They just argue nonstop anyway it's just a space to do that

me: and one day dirk would bring in rings, just plain metal ones (but no one has to know), justify that well, if this is a marriage ruse we might as well up our game, right? but he'd be weirdly skittish and self-conscious about it, like he's overstepping an invisible boundary; but todd would be *down* for it — he would be down for most of dirk's stupid bullshit, it's been so long since he's done any proper good shenanigans, since his life was even half this fun!

and then he'd try on the ring and laugh again because it *doesn't fit*, and dirk would get half-jokingly defensive that he didn't know his size!!, and todd would let him take the measuremnts (bc for what purpose would he know his own ring finger size), and dirk's breath would catch holy and uncomfortably

next time, dirk would get him a good, fitting ring, and it'd make weird things shift in his stomach

agent: OR it would be the RIGHT size, holistically

And he's like well I have to wear it now

And maybe they actually stumble upon something real in the middle of it - Dirk is going full monologue about the dishwasher and he says something and todd stops yelling back and looks unusually affected and is like wait...really? And then they just stare at each other for a minute and Todd is like ...I never knew that. And then they stare some more. And then the therapist is like ummm our time is up? I'm just gonna... Go? And then they're really quiet on the drive home but the next morning they have a new understanding

me: DIRK LETTING HIS TRAUMA PEEK THROUGH AND TODD ACCEPTING IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY

it's silent the whole ride, but just before he drops dirk off (dirk had been BANNED from the wheel since their first date/session) he goes "so, this..... [dryly, as not to disturb, sums up dirk's thing] it's real?"

dirk, usually so talkative, just helplessly shrugs, then shakes his head at himself, then somberly nods a few times, confirming that yes.

todd puts a hand on his knee and goes "dude. this is messed up. i'm so sorry."

dirk just nods some more, tearing up, because even though the words are simple, he's never heard anyone say them, never dared to share, and it hits him so deeply and painfully to be finally validated

he stumbles home, and cries for the whole evening, and feels lighter than usual afterwards

agent: The tragicomedy of falling in love with your own husband...........

me: i think for WORST results they agree it's just a fun platonic thing for shits and giggles before they meet up for the first time

and like, in the therapist's office they're this TERRIBLE couple who HATES each other, and outside of it they're just two guys being dudes, and romance, even fake, exists only in glimpses and doorways, and when the pit of longing opens, there's utterly nothing to stuff in it but stolen glances.

farah is the same therapist's normal patient with actual mental health issues she's trying to work through, and when they meet her in the waiting lobby for the first time they UTTERLY FAIL to convince her that their shtick is real, so they resort to *begging* her not to sell them out, and even though she's really on the fence about the whole thing and is unsure if it's morally okay to do, she gives in to dirk's Professional Puppy Eyes

after a while she gets unashamedly invested and demands they fill her in on the newest lies

maybe in one of dirk's bluffs/"attempts to hone the backstory" he invites himself to todd's apartment to better learn his habits and where he lacks in his homesteading

("well, when do i get to learn what chores do *you* fuck up?" todd asks playfully

"oh, just all of them!" dirk answers nonchalantly

in truth, he just doesn't want todd to see his barely lived-in, depressinly dirty short-term rented apartment. in the time dirk's been here, this city hasn't started feeling any more like a home.

in truth, dirk posted that stupid craigslist ad on his first week here, drunk and lonely and in mood for hijinks and out of his mind desperate for human connection; todd was actually looking for some simple one-off jobs to earn some quick buck, but couldn't resist a Stupid Idea when it dangled itself in his face)

todd gives him a quick tour, dirk half-heartedly criticizes the 3 dirty dishes in the sink and the mildly overflowing laundry hamper, and then for most of the evening they drink beer and play card games with todd's trusty ratty 10 years old deck that misses a jocker and a two of hearts (they decide to forgo the twos altogether) but overall is fine, dirk teaches him a couple of weird local games he'd picked up over the years, then tries to do card tricks but gets half of them wrong, they laugh a lot, todd makes grilled cheese, dirk says that if they ever feel the need to add a dash of appreciation into their sessions — just for some contrast and zest — then he'll admit that he *adores* todd's cooking, todd smiles bashfully and says man that's just some grilled cheese it's not that big of a deal

they pass out on the couch together, and dirk wakes up with a sore neck, sour mouth, and entangled limbs, and feels so at peace and right, and doesn't move, wishes for todd to sleep for longer, just so they could stay like this

then they find out todd doesnt have a spare toothbrush, so dirk has to make do with some gum while todd apologizes profusely

todd's got a shift in the late morning, so they do an awkward half-hug with back-patting, and dirk leaves

when dirk's getting himself a late breakfast at the corner store, he almost buys himself a toothbrush to keep in todd's apartment; then discards the thought; then buys it anyway, but tells himself it's a spare one for his own home, for when he'll need to throw the old one out. he never brings up the toothbrush thing around todd.

also he thinks it's a shame he couldn't brush his teeth, because then he could've kissed todd without worrying about bad breath; he discards that thought even quicker and farther

during one of the sessions, todd accidentaly makes a comment that actually gets to dirk, that makes him feel self-conscious and inadequate and upset

after they've done for the day, dirk asks if this is how todd *really* feels about him?.. todd says no, of course not! all of this is in good fun, just a friendly yelling match. he'd never say *anything* with an actual intention to hurt dirk; now that dirk brought that comment up, todd's never going to repeat it

"you seem like a good guy, you know? i genuinely like you," todd says

dirk feels very very warm

and maybe they sometimes spend time after the sessions too, and sometimes even on free days, just hanging out, relaxed and having fun, enjoying the company

and maybe one day it goes a little too well, and dirk gets a little too brave, and admits to todd that he's started feeling some kind of romantic interest, and asks if he would maybe like an actual date some other time

todd snaps at him.

tells dirk that he's only seen glimpses of todd, that these joke-sessions and little hang-outs show almost nothing of the real him, that he's a *mess*, that dirk doesn't know what he's getting himself into and should back off, that todd's a horrible person who's not worth the trouble

dirk tries to get to him, but todd gets even more defensive, even more closed off, pushes him away, makes that awful painful comment he'd promised he wouldn't say.

they don't show up for the next session.

dirk mops by the building on the scheduled day anyway, because he dislikes his routines disrupted when it's not him doing that, and because he's got nowhere to go, and because he secretly hopes todd will come around anyway (he doesn't.)

he meets farah after her actual session: she's had a Bad one today and is distraught, and dirk suggests they get hammered together. farah thinks it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, but after all of 15 seconds of deliberating she agrees

then she cries into his shoulder about her family and expectations and failed police exams and that she's a *failure* and will never get better, and he shakes her by the shoulders and near-yells that she's AMAZING, and fuck her family, and all cops are bastards anyway! she gets affronted and mentions her brothers and father, then realizes those people Are fucking bastards, then laughs and agrees with dirk and cries some more

dirk spills his entire conundrum, start to finish, only 5 useless tangents for the length of the whole thing which is not too bad of a ratio by his own measures, and farah tells him that todd's bullshit is Bullshit, capital B! if therapy taught her *anything* is that any person is capable of change ("you don't need to change yourself though," dirk pipes up; "YEAH, IM FUCKING PERFECT!" farah answers triumphantly), that this is just stupid excuses for excuses! (yeah!) and if dirk thinks that *farah*, with All her failures and fuck-ups, is not a lost cause (of course not!), then neither is todd! (damn, you're making a point!)

they swap some more personal stories, farah almost has a lesbian crisis in front of him but decides to throw up instead, and they leave the bar mostly in good spirits

dirk sleeps all of it off, but the next morning, even though Severely Hangover, he is no less determined.

he stakes out todd's apartment building (he did drop him off the first time; and even though he doesn't remember the adress for shit after all this time, he Luckes Out [after stubbornly cruising the general area for two hours straight])

and confronts him. tells todd that their friendship has been meaningful for dirk, no matter how little todd might think of it. (todd winces. he doesn't say it, but all of this was close to his heart too; he never meant to come off like he did, save for coming clean as an asshole; he *does* care about dirk, rather unreasonably much.) that dirk doesn't ask todd to give *him* a chance, but give *himself* a chance. that no person is irredeemable.

todd is eerily quiet. he invites dirk in, makes him some tea. sits silently at the table for a few minutes. and then, it all spills out: what he'd done to his band, to his *sister*, to himself; what a true actual hopeless horrible Asshole he is. he gets almost angry halfway through, voice rising, — either at dirk or at himself, it's not clear. dirk sits it all out. tells todd that is isn't the worst it could've been. todd begins to snap at him, but bites his mouth, and just buries his head in his arms, hiding. his head is so very heavy. dirk gives him a small solemn lecture about how past perfomance is not a predictor of future results, how it's never late to just *stop* being an asshole. how he's dirk's friend, how he's been kind to him, and dirk trusts him to continue to be kind, to build his life forward. ("*kind* to you? after i'd said that [hurtful thing] — the second time, *deliberately?" todd is bitter and baffled. "i forgive you for it. that's what friends do." dirk says like it's obvious). dirk places his trust in todd. todd struggles to process all that, he just lies on the table neither crying nor breathing; dirk talks to fill up the space, and to make good use of his trust. he tells todd all about his childhood trauma, in great, visceral detail, like he's pulling his guts out; he starts crying halfway through. todd hugs him really, really hard, and doesn’t let go for a while.

todd promises he'll come clean to amanda. dirk promises he'll start looking into therapy for his cptsd. they promise to each other they're friends, best friends.

they come in for the last fake-session with that therapist, just to tie a pretty bow on this whole thing: to tell them they're finally getting divorced, and will not require their services anymore. poor person breaks with an actual heavy sigh of *relief*.

dirk starts seeing a new therapist — not this one, thankfully; farah recommends him an old one she used to work with. she couldn't quite find a good rhythm with him, but she thinks he might be a nice match for dirk. he ends up being exactly that.

todd isn't yet ready for therapy, and dirk is accepting of that. amanda's not talking to him anymore, and he's *not* taking it in stride, but he's holding up as best as he can, and dirk holds his hand through it.

they do have an Actual Date with Romantic Intenstions — it goes remarkably well, even though they bicker for half the duration of it. it's all in good fun <3

they don't wear the rings anymore, but keep them as a memento; both feel weirdly sentimental about them. dirk does finally buy a new toothbrush for himself to keep in todd's apartment.

farah does end up having a lesbian crisis in front of her therapist, the one that todd and dirk have been torturing. poor soul.

[sonicasura]

Hey guys, remember that Smash Bros post I made about Wild (BotW Link) getting help from his fellow Smash competitors?

I'm pretty sure for any fanfiction writer, including myself, knows that this is the straw to break the camel's back after seeing that trailer. Man probably only had a few months break after the insanity of BotW. Now Wild gets launched into another adventure? FUCK THAT.

In the trailer, Zelda said she was unsure about the two of them stopping this new calamity. Well our Link has 87 additional hands to ask for help cause he's done with doing all this on his own. Since it's clear that Wild is gonna to be building vehicles, he also gets a pit crew to help out.

Considering all of Hyrule is being attacked at once then he can trust some Smashers to protect the people and towns. Even Gerudo Town as there are plenty of female competitors including Samus Aran! Nothing screams safe than the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter.

Sonic and Olimar would be the perfect scouts as information gathering can be done not only quick but in a large area. Pikmin planting on a major scale since they can dwell in pretty much any environment.

Robin, Joker and Snake will be great to have as they can form effective strategies alongside providing constant updates for everyone. Overall Wild can do his own thing without being spread so thin. Plus there will be fighters who are still available to help him out.

Step aside MCU Avengers, I think we all know whose much better with situations like this.

For those in the Linked Universe side of the fandom, I can imagine Wild doing this even more if he's dragged off during the quest with the Chain. Like the man is done to the point that he will say 'Fuck the universe! I'm doing this my way.'

Or we can do another Link to take his place as this one is wrapped up in LU events. This Link will obviously be called Tear and is Smash Bros Ultimate Link. I can only imagine the pure chaos if Tear gets dragged into the Chain's mission.

He won't hesitate to call in a fellow smasher. Hylia already tested him once and we all know Tear will do it again.

That's it for now! Until next time folks, I'll see you back in Hyrule.

[cyberdragoninfinity]

I would love to hear your Indigo Disk thoughts

YES!!!!!!! 💎🐢💥 full disclosure I only just finished Indigo Disk's main storyline like....less than 24 hours ago so I am still RIDING HIGH FROM THE RUSH OF IT ALL. will probably be spoilers ahead, as a head's up:

first off I love that like. right off the bat youre getting hit with cyrano and cavell old man yaoi. busting out the cute little nicknames like HELLO!!! AND then you have geeta showing up and rika is there for no reason whatsoever and it's like. well ok i think they were having lesbian activities on the plane over you love to see it!

anyway setting wise, the Big Ol Blueberry is pretty fun! I love running around and the Synchro Machine is SUCH a ridiculously fun feature (FINALLY, TRUE GAMING: Dana can run around as a Ninetales and smack a big ball around.) I love all the Unova callbacks and I LOVE THE DIFFERENT CLUB ROOM LAYOUTS!! The monochrome one made me tear up and SEEING THE FUCKIGN. POKESTAR STUDIOS ENEMIES. IN THE FUTURISTIC ONE. MADE ME FEEL SOMETHING. pokestar studios my beloved i miss it sooo much 😭 My buddy Snap was talkin about how the Terarium really kind of lacks... yknow, landmarks and points of interest, though, and god I agree so hard. I love that Kitakami had its own little set of interesting features and places to go and use as landmarks and the Terariuam kind of. Doesn't really have those. It's a bit of a pain in the ass to navigate and easy to get lost but not in a fun way.... even though you have these little neat natural features like The Pride Rock and Chargestone Caves, I wish we coulda had a little bit more :( For such a widely used part of the school it doesn't feel very 'lived' in by the students there. It would've been fun to see more gathering places aside from the Very Sterile Outside Classrooms.....

The Area Zero Underdepths, though...hooouughhHHHhhh. I just. I really have to admire the fact that Indigo Disk said "ohhh you want answers?? you wanna know what's going on in this place? fuck you, youre gonna have MORE questions after this, and theyre gonna be even CRAZIER ones." YOU GO IN THAT HOLE AND LEARN NOTHING AND IM NOT EVEN MAD ABOUT IT. GO LOOK AT THE CRYSTAL TREE DOWN THIS RANDOM PATHWAY. i neeeed to make a terapagos post sometime and talk more about it i cannot stop thinking about this little freak. POKEMON THAT SCARE ME A LITTLE I MUST SAY. POKEMON I DO NOT FEEL IN CONTROL OF. i Know they didnt make its charged terastal form look like a dream catcher for no reason. I Know its Stellar Form Looking Like That isnt for no reason. I know its borderline dangerous power and THAT LITTLE STUNT IT PULLS. AT THE CRYSTAL POOL. THAT'S INDICATIVE OF SOMETHING I THINK. >when Terapagos's cry was the sound Terastalizing has been making all fucking game. SCREAMS.

also again oh my god if you beat the main indigo disk storyline go to the crystal pool right now GO. GO FEEL SOMETHING. GO!!!!

ok well that's. less about setting and more about story though huh. well!! story wise, absolutely loved it! I know there was a lot of apprehension when the DLCs got more properly announced and we found out they didnt really center on Our Dear Paldea Friends as scarvio proper did, and yeah I definitely can see why that's a frustration and a deterrent for some (and I'm soo so excited to hang out with Nemona and Arven and Penny in the epilogue next month....peach time (: ) but for me in the end I'm really just so enamored and delighted with all the new friends you get to make in the DLC and they more than carry that little narrative's arc on its own. The Elite 4 of the BB League are all GREAT, they got nonstop autistic girls out here in gen 9 (nemona, amarys, briar ?!??!) and it ROCKS. and i LOVE Carmine so much, everyone always wants mean rivals and mean women and folks cant even handle Carmine 🙄 you can tell she genuinely has such a big heart and cares about her friends and her brother!!! and Kieran wahhh wahh kieran my newest Little Guy ;____;.... he is SO fourteen and I did not expect to go into the DLC getting really invested in a new character's arc but it's just GOOD. He REALLY feels like a loose yugioh character in Indigo Disk, he's so angry and obsessed with victory and ultimately under it all still capable of so much kindness and regret and he's just GOOD. And his champion battle was terrifying and a BLAST!! THE MUSIC RULES. HE EVEN HAD INCINEROAR.

god and all the music in Indigo Disk was a banger. gen 9 music save me. gen 9 music. save me gen 9 music.

i'm SUPER hyped to do more BBQs with my bestie and do more postgame stuff with the "hanging out with Gym Leaders" thing and the Legendary hunting and such... lots more to roll around in and have a good time with. All in all had just a great time with it, I genuinely might put Violet as my favorite Pokemon game of all time at this point! I do grow very sad thinking about just how even more fantastic this game couldve been if it had 1-3 more years to cook properly though, like..god damn. I was getting some LAG on those cutscenes, and I know I made out pretty alright in the bugs department!!

but for now i'll just be thinking about the shit that happens at the crystal pool for the rest of my life. also Indigo Disk gave me the best possible trainer ID photo i never need to change it again

[monsterwithasweater]

Monster Replays the Truthful Route: Part 4

Sorry for the delay, folks!

Warning: You know the deal. Digimon Survive spoilers under the cut.

While working on this part, the draft accidentally got deleted. So, I'm only gonna give a few of my thoughts on the beginning part, then skip right to the exploration part of the amusement park.

I think this game really hits us with the fact that the villains are not indispensable. As Piedmon says, if Arukenimon fails, there is sure to be another one to take her place. And if Piedmon doesn't already convince you in Part 4, just wait until he brutally murders her in Part 7.

Takuma and co. are understandably scared. Sure, Ryo might have survived, but are they really sure they can survive next time? Can they ever get out of this world. If so, can they get out of this world alive? We all know they do because this is the Truthful route, and nobody dies in the Truthful route, but at this point of the story, the Survive gang isn't so sure.

Takuma: Kaito, we have to stick together! You can't go off on your own!

Kaito: stfu

Dracmon: I agree with Takuma!

Kaito: Hmmm, if my little vampire gremlin agrees with you, then you must have a point.

Well, unless you choose the bad ending.

Kunemon (≧◡≦)

Finding Miu!

I really enjoy Ryo's dynamic with Minoru.

Patamon, Palmon, and Biyomon are so stupid! I love them!

BREAKING NEWS: Angry Mean Big Human Beats Up Guards!

The Queen: "Oh, brother. I've never been so embarrassed!"

Okay, that's all I'm gonna bother remembering. Let's get back to Finding Miu!

Dracmon: GRROOOAAARRR! I'm gonna eat you!

Falcomon: All of you... prepare to die!

I love Ryo's speech to Kunemon before he evolves to Flymon, so I'm just gonna share the screenshots of it (warning for poor quality, though).

While making this post, my phone died A-FUCKING-GAIN, so I lost a good chunk of it. Then, while trying to remember what the hell I typed down, I accidentally closed out of Tumblr. So if there are any weird skips, I apologize.

Kaito: I'm... I'm all she has. So I have to look out for her.

After playing the Harmony route, this line especially hits hard.

Something I just noticed: All of the servants names start with P (yeah, I know that in English it's Biyomon with a B, but they're also called Piyomon in Japan, so...).

Minoru: I'm saying if we stand around here talking for too long those pesky little things will-

Palmon: Looking for us?

They're in the four-shadow! Like the one they were talking about earlier!

OMGZORZ, can you believe that they made Goth TK an actual, CANON character in Digimon Survive?

A touching reunion, indeed. *wipes tear from eye*

If I'm being honest, I'd also be annoyed if my older brother crashed my throne room.

She looks so annoyed XD

Of course it's Ryo that says this.

Makes sense, given how MarineAngemon helped carry my first few playthroughs.

Kaito: I just worry about her, that's all.

Saki: Well, sometimes it can feel suffocating being on the other side of that.

This honestly makes me wonder about Saki's family. From what I can tell from her Prologue story, her parents (or at least her mother) seem to be massive worrywarts. Though given Saki's illness, it's understandable.

KAITO YOU IDIOT, STOP PUNCHING THE WALL!

It's the Old 'Mon himself!

I can understand why Minoru and Shuuji are suspicious of Jijimon. After all, the last time they found an adult they thought they could trust, she turned out to be a weird spider lady that wanted to sacrifice them.

But seriously, Jijimon is a sweetheart. <3

Ryo: This sucks. These guys are such bad news. I can't believe we're taking them on again.

Kunemon...

Ryo: Yeah, I know.

Ryo: I don't want Miu to have to go through what I experienced yesterday.

Kunemon: Kew!

Ryo: Heh! Yeah... you're right. We've just gotta do this!

Shuuji's affinity dialogue rubs me the wrong way. Though I guess that's because of the localization.

Okay, I'm just gonna say it here and now: Miu's more of a Digimon Kaiser-equivelent than the hypothetical Ken-equivelent ever will be.

Kaito, did you seriously punch GARURUMON!?

I love the pre-Shellmon scene as well. Unfortunately, I hit the photo limit, so I'm gonna have to copy the dialogue from scratch.

Miu: Oh no! Kaito!

Syakomon: So, you ARE worried about what happens to him?

Miu: Of course I am! He's my brother!

Miu: I just don't like him being overprotective, and I hate how he never gives me any space.

Miu: When he gets like that, it reminds me of... things I really don't want to remember.

Syakomon: And that's why you were so mean to him?

Miu: Yeah, but he's still my brother.

Miu: Only after I can't do anything...

[Insert Patamon and Biyomon getting their asses kicked by Garurumon here]

Miu: Oh no! They're all hurt again!

Miu: Syakomon, tell me, what should I do?

Miu: They're all fighting for me like I'm really their queen, but...

Miu: I haven't done anything for them!

Syakomon: Miu... what do you want to do?

Miu: I... I don't want to let anyone... To let my brother die...

Miu: I don't want to lose everyone after lying to them, or my brother after fighting with him!

Miu: I want to protect everyone else for a change!

Miu: Syakomon, please! Save Kaito!

Syakomon: Oh, I'm so happy you said that! Finally, you were able to be honest with how you feel.

Miu: Syakomon!?

Syakomon: I've been waiting this whole time for you to be honest with me.

Syakomon: Because when you wish for something with your whole heart, I can be as strong as you need!

Miu: What!? Syakomon, what's happening!?

Syakomon: Miu, I'm here to make your wishes come true! So for your sake, I'll grow strong!

Syakomon, evolve tooo...!

[Insert evolution into Shellmon here]

Easily one of my favorite scenes in the whole game.

Anyways, I evolved her straight to Azulongmon and oneshotted Garurumon.

I love the music that plays when the Survive gang learn that there's a way to go back to the Human World via the boundary.

Jijimon: Many times I have witnessed the strong bond between my friend and their human child.

Jijimon: Though it was long ago, and my memories have fades. Yet had that child been sacrificed...

Jijimon: My friend would not have fared well. Those who share such strong bonds share the same fate.

Jijimon: Yet my friend still lives. This in itself is proof that the child is alive somewhere.

The scene between Takuma, Agumon, Kaito and Dracmon is really sweet.

Dracmon: What's this? Kaito being open and honest about how he feels for once? No way!

Pffft XD

And that concludes Part 4. For how much of a pain in the ass this post was to make, I still really enjoyed this part (though that might be because it focuses on two of my favorite characters, Ryo and Miu). Miu learned her lesson, and boy, I sure learned mine...

[thebroccolination]

Hello Key, are you watching any BLs currently, if so, which ones? Do you recommend any of the newer ones from this year

Hi Anon!

I’m not currently watching anything, no!

I’ve had a few series recommended to me recently, but I can’t remember much of what I’ve seen since Between Us ended. I think most of the series I’m looking forward to haven’t aired yet. I just got Tears of the Kingdom, too, so my brain has been consumed by fusing mushrooms to swords.

But in terms of what I’d recommend!

The Warp Effect is technically from 2022 but it started in late December so it feels like a 2023 series. It’s incredible, and it includes so many aspects of queer life and sexual/gender identities that it just puts every other series on blast. “You can’t have romances with lesbians and trans people? Weird, because The Warp Effect had both. And had the (alleged) heterosexuals promoting the benefits and discussing the complexities of kink in relationships.” New was fantastic in this, too. TWE is so good.

And on the total opposite end of the rating spectrum, I thought My School President was really fun and well executed. I loved both couples, I thought the writing was great, and I actively went looking for the songs after each episode, and I hadn’t done that since Cutie Pie. (And Between Us but we all know I recommend Between Us.)

I do really want to watch the Eclipse and MSP episodes of Our Skyy, but I’m having that block of “noooo if I watch then I won’t have any more to watch”, and apart from Only Friends, there doesn’t seem to be another FirstKhao series this year (a crime).

I’m also looking forward to Only Friends even though I’m going into it with a very different mindset (yay Jojo!) than I usually have (yay love!) just because I know I’m gonna get my heart busted if I’m not emotionally prepared.

The Next Prince is ZeeNuNew’s next project and I’m very ready for their brand of trope-y fun. I have no idea when they’re even filming so I guess it’ll air in autumn sometime.

It Lingers in the Air is an historical BL I’ve been looking forward to for ages now. I’ve been screaming for historical stuff from the start because Thai history interests me but I haven’t found as much easily accessible resources to educate myself on. So I’ll take what I can get and let some fictional gays teach me pseudo-history.

Naughty Babe is going to be pure nonsense garbage and I’m going to watch every episode as an Event with friends and snacks.

If BounPrem do literally anything together before the vampire series I highly recommend that. Whatever it is. #BounPrem #RideOrDie

And of course Be My Favorite starts next Friday on the 26th, and I’ve been excited about that since December of 2021, so I’m predicting now that that’s gonna be the one that really brings me back to hyperfixating on series. I’m a massive fan of time loops as a trope (see also my utter adoration for Triage), I love Krist and Gawin and Aye, and the supporting cast looks fantastic too. And the director has a good reputation (The Gifted) and apparently had Queer as Folk as a formative queer experience just like me, so I’m inclined to trust him.

I think that covers most of it? I feel like I’ve forgotten something I’ve seen and half of my brain says, “Then it wasn’t that memorable now was it,” but also sometimes my brain just likes to forget stuff until I’ve posted something.

Anyway, lemme know if you watch and enjoy any of these! <3

[rabbitechoes]

(repost because the original post was marked as NSFW) still trying to tweak a few things with this series. i think i will present the songs in an unranked fashion, but i will still note which song is my favorite of the month! every song will be linked below and i rlly hope y’all enjoy this month’s list. (i’m surprised i was even able to get this done because i’ve been playing Zelda nonstop lol)

also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter

‧₊˚✧ BEST SONG OF THE MONTH ✧˚₊‧

“Tears Can Be So Soft” - Christine and the Queens

◇ featured on Paranoïa, Angels, True Love - Christine and the Queens (not yet released) ◇ genres: trip-hop, alt-pop

To be completely honest, I’m not super familiar with a lot of Christine and the Queens work. I love his feature on Charli XCX’s “Gone” and I thought his 2020 EP La vita nuova was pretty decent as well, but other than that I’m pretty much clueless. Despite that, his latest single absolutely blew me away. “Tears Can Be So Soft” takes obvious inspiration from 90s trip-hop, but god it sounds so incredible. The wispy, dreamy vocals backed against a string arrangement sampled from a Marvin Gaye song is a combo that works extremely well. I absolutely love this song and its probably my favorite of this month. If his next album is gonna sound like this, I’m super excited.

“Babylon By Bus” (feat. ShrapKnel) - billy woods & Kenny Segal

◇ featured on Maps - billy woods & Kenny Segal ◇ genre: abstract hip-hop

Maps, the latest collaboration between billy woods and Kenny Segal, is probably the most standout album of the month. Many of the tracks on the album could’ve made this list, but I wanted to limit it to a single one. “Babylon By Bus” is the song I’ve revisited the most. Like a lot of billy woods’ work, this song has that eerie and off-putting feel that makes him stand out. The verses from woods are very strong, but so is the verse from rap group ShrapKnel. I hadn’t heard of them until this and I will probably listen to more of their stuff in the future! Excellent song and an incredible album that I highly recommend.

“Justify Your Life” - George Clanton

◇ featured on Ooh Rap I Ya - George Clanton (not yet released) ◇ genres: chillwave, baggy, neo-psychadelia

George Clanton’s previous single, “I Been Young”, was my favorite song of last month and his latest single is one of my favorite songs of this month. “Justify Your Life” follows the 90s nostalgia of the previous single and I love this sound so much. Judging by the art direction of these two singles, it seems like this sound is what Clanton is going with for this new album which is super exciting. This track sounds a bit darker than the last, but it still has one of those choruses you just wanna obnoxiously sing along to. This upcoming album has the potential to be my album of the year given how incredible these singles have been.

“AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM” - Beyoncé & Kendrick Lamar

◇ genres: electro, pop rap

Breaking down this song and explaining why its good feels a little bit pointless. Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar, two of the most important artists of our time, team up on a remix of a song from her excellent 2022 album RENAISSANCE. Obviously it’s great, look who is involved. Go listen.

“The Blades” - Squid

◇ featured on O Monolith - Squid (not yet released) ◇ genres: experimental rock, art rock

This new Squid album comes out in a few weeks and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve enjoyed the bands earlier EPs and Bright Green Field, but I think this new album could very well be their best so far. “The Blades” is yet another great single. The band has been playing around with added touches of different genres into their sound and it just keeps paying off. The little elements of krautrock are especially a nice touch. I have very high hopes for this new album and I can’t wait to hear it.

“Space Orphans” - Ichiko Aoba

◇ genre: chamber folk

I’ve been slowly working my way through Ichiko Aoba’s discography after adoring her 2020 album Windswept Adan. I wasn’t aware of this new single until after this post was published so I’m adding it in post. This new single is a gorgeous, spacey, chamber folk ballad that is very easy to listen to. The soft strings that occasionally accompany her voice and guitar are a very nice touch. Every time I dive into the world of her music, I am completely captivated. 

“Cops and robbers” - underscores

◇ genres: noise pop, indietronica

I absolutely loved underscores’ debut album Fishmonger and I have been anticipating whatever they were gonna follow it up with. Their latest single “Cops and robbers” builds upon the sound of their last album, but with a bit more polish. It has elements of hyperpop mixed with noisy instrumentation and a chorus that is clearly inspired by pop-punk of the 2000s. These all work together so well. Hopefully this is leading up to a new album.

“sulky baby” - yeule

◇ genres: dream pop, indie pop

yeule is an artist whose music I need to dive into further. I enjoyed a good bit of their last album Glitch Princess, but I couldn’t have anticipated how great this song is. “sulky baby” is one of the finest dream pop songs I’ve heard in a while. I absolutely adore the way the hazy guitar lures you into the track before everything comes to create this incredible burst of dreamy goodness. This is without a doubt one of my favorite tracks of the year so far.

“Zeitgeist” - Maruja

◇ genres: experimental rock, art punk, post-punk

Fresh off of dropping a really impressive EP, Maruja returns with another great song. If you liked their debut EP, I’m sure you will love this new single. One thing I love about this band is their consistently interesting instrumentation. The bass towards the start of this track is really cool and adding saxophone into a post-punk song is always a recipe for something great. This band is on fire right now and I can’t wait to see what they have coming up.

“Master P (feat. Big Sean)” - KAYTRAMINÉ

◇ featured on KAYTRAMINÉ - KAYTRAMINÉ ◇ genre: pop-rap

KAYTRANADA and Aminé joined forces to make a very good summer album. There are plenty of highlights across the project, but I wanted to shout out this track in particular. “Master P” isn’t the most summer-y on the album, but I think its one of the biggest highlights on the album. I think this track has some of Aminé’s strongest rapping in a while and when Big Sean’s verse comes in the track is elevated even more. Really loving this one.

“Infinity Repeating (2013 Demo)” - Daft Punk & Julian Casablancas + The Voidz

◇ featured on Random Access Memories (10th Anniversary Edition) - Daft Punk ◇ genres: disco, electronic

It kinda feels like cheating putting this on here, but I feel like I have to mention it. The 10th anniversary edition of Daft Punk’s magnificent final studio album dropped this month alongside a handful of new demos and extra songs. One such demo is a collaboration with Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas. Daft Punk and Casablancas teamed up for the incredible “Instant Crush” which ended up on the album. I guess this demo was what eventually evolved into that song and I think it holds its own pretty well. If you liked their previous collab, I think you will find something to love about this demo!

[divinerodentiastudios]

Sixth Door to the Left Episode 2: The Mountain Troll's Awakening

If you somehow found this post without having listened, you can do so here or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hello There! My Name is Pelle Frid, The only person working on Sixth Door to the Left and creator of Divine Rodentia Studios. Before today’s episode, I’ve got a great show to share with you all. From Tlacuache Theatre comes The Devil’s Plaything, a horror comedy about a guy named Greg, who through no fault of his own dies and is given a second chance at life by a demon in exchange for killing people. It is funny, anticapitalist and has demons in it, what’s not to love? I’m dying to hear more, and I think you might as well. You can listen to The Devil's Plaything on all the major Podcast apps, and subscribe to ensure you never miss an episode. We’re gonna play the trailer for it right now. Enjoy!

MUSIC

Gary Carrie: So uh what’s your name my man.

Greg: oh um Greg

Drathralas: You should really consider taking better care of yourself, even my last host was not such a disgusting oaf of flesh.

Greg: What is going on? How did I get from the floor to the toilet?

Drathralas: In exchange for your continued control of this fleshy bag you will bring to me more meat.

Greg: Dead? I I I can’t do that

Drathrals: Surely you must be joking, is that not what humans are known for? I did accounting for the somme, murder is the modus operandi of all humans. You are dead. You have died because of autoerotic asphyxiation. Your next choices are quite simple. 

SINK RUNNING

Greg: Hey do you know what time it is?

Random Dude: Go look at a clock dude. 

BATHROOM MURDER.

Greg: I thought we had a deal Drathralas! 

Dave: You insolent fool I am not Drathralas! 

Samantha: Hello! Welcome to the TV station’s booth. Did you want to volunteer? You get a pin if you sign up.

Tommy: WHat the fuck greg! I’m not interested!

Greg: It's not me! I I I can’t stop it!

Narrator: The Devil’s Plaything is a new horror comedy by Tlacuache Theater Productions. Listen to it wherever you get podcasts. 

Now, without further ado, Episode 2 of the Sixth Door to the Left, The Mountain Troll’s Awakening.

explosion dripping water faint construction

[Troll]: Mmmmmaaughhhh!

(Cave Echo) The Drummer is here, bat squeaks seeking to blast me for my cursed deeds!

No, not the drummer, people-folk in their iron steeds.

Such is their way, taking my mountain away.

Hmmm.

Long is the time I spent in these halls, So very many nightfalls.

My treasure is immense, So much so I must always be on the defense.

Hmmm.

I hear them now, breaking my home, Evermore limiting the space I can roam.

Oh, how I wish to break the carapace, truck backing up

Force them to forever leave this place. I would tear and break asunder,

A proper and terrifying manhunter. But as it stands I cannot do that,

My every move would make me fall flat. For it is of iron these mounts are made,

And should I approach my power will quickly fade. Bind me to the wielder’s will unbreakable,

Render me magically incapable.

Hmmmm.

[In the hall of the mountain king by Edvard Grieg plays softly, growing in intensity over time]

Once, a bride to the mountain I took, Only for a priest to read from the book.

Such terror such pain. I wish not to suffer again.

Were it I only settled elsewhere,

I may have not been so ensnared. Hmmmm.

For the  hated iron is all surrounding, Demanding, perhaps, my announcing.

Hmmmm.

coughs

(Echo Stops) Haaaaa! Teleportation spell, electricity, construction work stops

(Outside) Brids singing[Construction worker]: What?

[Troll, changed his voice]:Take heed, people-folk, and hear what I have to say,

I live in this mountain and wish to stay. Say, then, please tell, how may one

stop this disquietude? The noise, the rumble. The

clamor of a great magnitude. If it’s riches you seek,

I could fill your bags within the week. All I as is that for this churn,

You leave, to never return. Leave this mountain, tear down your fences,

I beg of you, come to your senses. For should you continue destroying my residence,

You will not be pleased when you learn of my vengeance.

Hmmmm. Your power over this world dwindles,

The protection brittles. The book, the detested bells of old,

Helped you grow and expand, like mold. Rewarded your cooperation would be,

And just as terrible my anger, if set free.

[In the hall of the Mountain King crescendos and end] (Birds fade away)

CREDITS

The Mountain Troll’s Awakening was written and sound designed by Pelle Frid

The Troll was played by W. Keith Tims and Brady Flanagan

The Sixth door to the Left Cover was created by Yendysear.

The Divine Rodentia Studios Logo was created by Zacharias Frid,

The music was Music was In the Hall of the Mountain King, by Edvard Grieg,

performed by the Czech National Symphony Orchestra

Sound effects was taken from various sources.

Special thanks to H. M. Radcliff for her invaluable help getting me off

the ground with the sound design, as this was the first piece I made from scratch.

This project is a labor of love and is created on my free time. If you would

consider a one-time donation to my ko-fi that would be greatly appreciated and goes towards

developing the show and future projects. You can do so at ko-fi.com/divinerodentiastudios, all one word.

Links to everyone that’s helped create this project can be found on our Tumblr, link in the show notes.

And, for all things Divine Rodentia  Studios you can find our linktree in the show notes as well

[AUDIO LOGO] This has been a production By Divine Rodentia Studios

[hahahahahahahahahaaaaaa]

Dumping this here because I typed it all out and was gonna post it to my 'Close Friends' list on Facebook but kinda chickened out...

[trusted friends]

[TW: Religious Trauma]

Folks might have noticed that I'm kind of engaging with religion, which might seem odd since I very loudly declared that I was an atheist years ago, and kind of haven't been religious at all since then. To say that I'm deconstructing my fundie upbringing years late would be the understatement of the century. I'm taking on this massive project of kind of un-learning everything I was taught as a child about what it means to be a Christian - the idea that you have to rigidly cling onto a literal interpretation of the KJV, that hell awaits anyone not following that exact path, that the main point of it all is to worship and be reverent to God, etc; I'm un-learning all of that and trying to instead learn about Christianity from all kind of different angles. Like, did you know there are Christians who believe that there is no hell? and Christians who believe that through Jesus's sacrifice, all are redeemed, regardless of their belief or lack thereof?

But the important thing for me isn't the theology (although I am definitely interested in learning different theologies and different ways of interpreting the Bible in all its versions, and eventually branching out and learning about different religions), but just a difference in how I approach religion now. First of all, the churches I've kind of trepidatiously looked at and attended live-streamed online services with are all very openly socially progressive, and I think it's important to understand that I think that's central to the teachings of Christ, which should be central to Christianity. But also important in my approach now is that I'm not really dogmatic and that my belief in a deity isn't even central to the whole thing, what's central is how you apply the teachings to your life and how they can help and heal your soul, and make you better able to help and heal others.

Like, honestly, I'm still agnostic - I think there might or might not be a God(ess) or God(esse)s, and I'll probably never know for sure. My "prayers" aren't necessarily specifically to one God most of the time, but they're more of a "If anyone's listening" or "to whom it may concern" type of thing.

And… what I pray for and about are different. I think maybe this comes from some time I spent doing meditation and more reflective work in my occultism years ago, but my prayers aren't for a deity to change things around me or change my circumstances as much as they're like "Give me peace with this" or "give me strength to deal with this" or "Give me patience" or whatever. Really, my prayers are just meditations where I'm talking to someone else who may or may not be there, but really just giving myself subconscious orders. "Give me peace" might as well be an inward command to myself of "Claire, settle down and be at peace!"

Anyways, I do legitimately think it helps somewhat, and I also didn't realize how deeply ingrained some of that stuff I learned as a kid was - like, the dozenth time that I thought "God actually loves and accepts me despite the fact that I'm trans and stuff", it actually sunk in and connected with a brand-new thought of "I'm… worthy of love. Unconditionally, just like anyone else. I can be loved." and next thing I knew, I was crying. But not ugly-crying like I did in the altar as an actual child, when I was praying that God would "fix" me and make me "normal". This was something new. When it really connected that I could be worthy of a God's love exactly the way I am, I was actually, like, crying happy tears, which had never been part of a religious experience for me before.

So yeah, I guess that's that. I don't know how I really feel about the label "Christian" and how it'd connect me with so many disparate belief systems that openly peddle hate, so I think I'd rather avoid that label or any other religious labels, but if I'm going to pick a label, I guess I'm a Universalist. I've attended some services virtually (the closest congregation to me is over an hour away currently) and really feel like I'd not only be welcomed and allowed to question and challenge and disbelieve and struggle to understand beliefs there, but would actually be encouraged to do all of that exploration.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[nocturne-overtures]

Kinktober Day 5-Bad Influences

Pairing: Lee Minhyuk (BTOB)/Lee Felix

Prompt: Daddy Kink, Spanking, Cumming From Punishment

WC: 2k+

Genre(s)/AU(s): Smut, Idolverse, Fluff

TWs: Swearing

SWs: Daddy Kink, Pet Names, Spanking (Hand and Paddle), Marking (Imprints), Bratty Sub, Teasing, Semi-Public, Sexual Punishment, Stoplight System, Dominant Idol, Submissive Idol, BDSM Overtones, Praise Kink, Pain Kink, Crying, Aftercare

Everything here is Safe, Sane, and Consensual as always, folks

A/N: I also have the tagged folks according to your preferences so if you’re someone who asked to be tagged in btob works, skz works, or both and included member x member works, then beep boop you’re gettin tagged. Also this is set during Kingdom filming

AO3

New! taglist moved to the bottom of the work. if you’d like to be added to the taglist for this or my other works, feel free to fill out the form here after reading the full post. ©Nocturne-Overtures. do not repost, translate, or use my works.

Kinktober 2021 Masterlist

Day 4                  Day 6

Network Pings: @kdiarynet @kwritersworld @kpopscape

Minhyuk was many things. 

Easily riled up, was not one of them. 

No, he was a very meticulous man. Took his time analyzing situations with a deceptive smile on his face, feigning aloofness while he sorted his thoughts. 

Think, before you act. Always. 

It was a lesson Felix hadn’t quite grasped yet, deciding he was going to follow after his friends’ footsteps and try provoking Minhyuk into action. 

Had he been learning bad behaviours from Wooyoung, Sanghyuk, and Sunwoo? Definitely. 

Unfortunately for Felix, Minhyuk had the benefit of age and experience on his side. He loved his boyfriend, no doubt, but he wasn’t so swooned and whipped that he’d crack like San. He wasn’t a switch in any capacity, so the tables didn’t get turned on him like with Youngbin. And he surely didn’t get flustered or caught out by misbehaviour like Sangyeon. 

So when Felix took to subtly brushing against him as they passed backstage for filming, when he sent him suggestive photos while changing costumes, the times he’d appear at Cube, an innocent smile on his freckled face as he sat directly in Minhyuk’s lap, pouting and chattering about how much he wished he could have fun with Minhyuk whenever he wanted like the others-

Minhyuk only hummed, kissing the top of Felix’s head. Today they were in the older man’s home, resting before the upcoming field day event.

“We only have a few more weeks of filming. I’ll be sure to stop by more often.”

“I mean...we have time now so-”

Felix pouted and looked up, shifting beside him on the couch, his freckled cheeks slightly puffed out. 

“Are you going to keep doing that?”

Minhyuk cocked a brow. 

“Doing what?” 

“Not…” Felix trailed off, making a small frustrated noise. Minhyuk cocked a brow, an amused noise leaving his lips. 

“Not what, baby? Fucking you?” 

Felix nodded and Minhyuk set the pen he had in his hand down, closing the notebook to the raps he was writing and humming. 

“Why do you think I haven’t fucked you, Felix?”

“I don’t know! I’ve been trying and-” he cut himself off, lips pursing.

Minhyuk couldn’t help the chuckle that left his lips, a deep rumble resonating from his chest as he looked at Felix in amusement. 

“C’mon to my room. I’ll tell you why it didn’t work.” 

Felix perked and nodded eagerly, hustling after him, practically on Minhyuk’s heels. 

How he ended up here, sprawled out across Minhyuk’s lap with the older man humming and rubbing his ass was another story. Felix blushed, looking up, expecting Minhyuk to finger him and prep him. Instead, he had his head lightly tilted up, looking into Felix’s eyes. 

Instantly, the younger man realized-finally-that he may have been in trouble, eyes widening. 

“Um-”

“Would you like to explain now? Or would you prefer to take your punishment as I explain to you what you did wrong?"

Felix shrunk a bit, cheeks flared. 

“I can let you go and let you explain yourself. Or I can spank you and I tell you why you’re in trouble.”

Felix looked into his eyes. Minhyuk never moved his gaze from his. He was giving him a choice. He always did. Felix looked back, finding a small leather paddle sitting beside Minhyuk’s thigh while his large hand lie rested on Felix’s ass, unmoving for now. 

He shied and nodded. 

“I’m staying here.” 

“Do you remember our system?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Minhyuk nodded, a pleased sound leaving his lips. 

“Good.” 

He grabbed the paddle, rubbing Felix’s ass in circles before he brought the paddle down hard on his ass. Felix jolted and yelped, though Minhyuk kept him in his lap with his free hand wrapped securely around Felix’s waist. 

“You don’t have to count this time. But Daddy wants you to know that following after the other Brats is why that pretty ass is in trouble.”

Felix yipped at the second, then third hit, cheeks flushing as he felt the leather rub over his sore cheek between Minhyuk’s talking. 

“I j-just wanted you t-to….to…” He flushed and lowered his head. Minhyuk tapped his ass with the paddle. 

“Lift your head. You wanted me to what?”

“F-fuck me. They...they said being bratty and teasing works all the time for them and-fuck!” He cursed and jolted when his untouched cheek was struck, Minhyuk’s grip still strong around his waist. 

“There’s a difference between their Doms and Daddy, kitten.” he lightly scolded, his voice never going above the volume of his normal speaking tone. Felix bowed his head down. 

“S-sorry, Daddy.” Minhyuk hummed and rubbed his ass. 

“Are you?”

Felix nodded before whimpering and dropping his head once more when another hard spank fell to his ass. He could feel something on the paddle, like...an outline? Though the paddle was never pressed to his sore ass long enough for him to distinguish what it is. Minhyuk took care to rub him between spanks with the smooth end of the paddle. 

“Pick your head up, baby.” Minhyuk reminded him. Felix shuddered and muttered a quick apology before Minhyuk paused. 

“Are you alright?”

Felix nodded. 

“What’s your color, baby?”

“Green.” 

Minhyuk kissed his head before he continued. 

“I’m not San, or Youngbin, I’m not Sangyeon either. Who am I?”

“Minhyuk-hyung.”

A light tap to his ass from the paddle had Felix’s hips jolt, anticipating a full hit before he blushed. He realized he was hard, his cock pressed fully against Minhyuk’s leg. 

When had he gotten hard?

“Who am I, Felix?” He asked again. 

“M-My Daddy.” 

“Good. So Daddy is going to tell you, the best way to get him to fuck you, is to ask.” the paddle was discarded without a word, Minhyuk’s calloused hand squeezing and kneading both of Felix’s cheeks. 

“I won’t reward you with my cock for being a brat, Felix.” he scolded him, his hand coming down on Felix’s left cheek. A scream of surprise left his mouth and he nearly scrambled out of Minhyuk’s lap, his cock jumping against the fabric of the older man’s gym shorts. Minhyuk loosened his grip, giving him the chance to get out of it if he wanted to. 

Felix shook his head and settled back down, slightly panting as tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. 

“Color?”

“G-Green.”

Minhyuk hummed, sitting in silence for a few minutes, just groping and kneading the heated skin under his hand. Felix kept his head up like asked, though his thighs shook from his position across Minhyuk’s lap. The older man took notice, pulling him forward a bit more, spreading his long legs so he could support Felix a bit better. 

Once Felix had stopped shaking as much, Minhyuk continued. 

“Do you want to be a brat, Felix?”

Felix shook his head, groaning at the next spank, the tears rolling down his cheek as he clenched and unclenched his fists. 

“N-No, Daddy!”

“No? Not gonna try and be like Sunwoo and grind on me backstage like he does with Sangyeon?” 

Felix shook his head quickly, his hair stuck to his face and neck from the sweat that began to build up on his body. 

“What about sitting in my lap during meetings with the others? Mmm? Is it fair to tease Daddy like the others do? Do you think you should have my cock after being such a tease like that?” he inquired. Felix shook his head once more, biting his lip and all but thrusting against Minhyuk’s leg with the next jolt from his spank, his entire body flushed. 

He’d gotten hard, painfully so. Part of him feared he’d cum just from this. 

“D-Daddy-”

Minhyuk’s hand froze midair, attentive brown eyes looking down immediately. 

“What is it, baby? Do you want to stop?”

“N-No I…M...maybe? I feel like I’m going to cum and I don’t wanna be bad.”

Minhyuk’s eyes twinkled with mirth. 

“You’re gonna cum from your punishment?”

Felix shook his head quickly, embarrassed. 

“Felix. Be honest baby.” 

He flushed before nodding a moment later. 

“Do you want to cum?” 

He lifted his head, looking back at him with big eyes still teary from the pleasured pain thrumming through his cheeks. 

“I was bad.”

“I think you learned your lesson, personally. So I’ll ask you again. Do you want to cum?”

Felix nodded. 

“Yes, Daddy, please?”

“See? Those are the manners Daddy is looking for.” Minhyuk grabbed a few pillows, letting Felix rest his head on them before he resumed his spanking, growling between each strike. 

“Your ass looks pretty like this, baby. The red makes your freckles stand out. Go ahead, you can cum for me.” 

Felix could barely decipher his words between the sound of skin hitting skin and his own moaning and pleasured cries, his cock painfully hard between his legs. Minhyuk had growled something in particular, along the lines of Felix being his ‘cute pain slut’ before the younger man saw stars, cumming messily all over Minhyuk’s lap, his legs and thighs shaking as he nearly slipped to the floor from the force of it. 

Minhyuk held him tighter, keeping him steady as he picked him up, laying with Felix settled in his arms. 

He was careful, brushing Felix’s hair back and cooing sweet nothings to him as he sobbed against his chest. 

“You’re alright, baby boy. You did well for me.”

“B-But I was a brat-”

“Mmm. You were. And you took your punishment well. So, you’re a good boy. Hey, look at me,” Minhyuk waited until Felix’s sniffles subsided into little hiccups, the pained pleasure an overwhelming first time feeling for him. Minhyuk wiped his cheeks and kissed him gently. 

“You did so well. Let Daddy take care of you, okay?”

Felix nodded and held onto his arms as he stood, carrying him off to shower off. Minhyuk laughed and waved off the hasty apologies as Felix noticed him putting his shorts in the wash. 

“Don’t apologize to me, baby boy.” 

One magnolia scented, aloe-infused bath later, and Felix was on his stomach, eyes closed as Minhyuk gently massaged lotion over his cheeks. 

He was careful of his strength and there was no skin broken, but Felix had noted-in sheer delight-that Minhyuk’s paddle actually did have indentations, and they actually were hearts. Now his freckled bottom sported not only Minhyuk’s handprint to the left and a row of hearts to the right. 

“So...I think I have a spanking kink.” Felix mused tiredly as Minhyuk got him settled on his chest, putting on Deadpool for them to enjoy, since it had been one of Felix’s favorites. Minhyuk laughed and kissed him, holding his waist once he was sure Felix was warm and covered by the blanket. 

“I noticed.”

-xoxo-

So the field day was a completely different experience. 

Minhyuk felt a sense of pride as Felix waddled forward amongst the cheers that he had been voted as one of their top three visuals. The man looked around, pointing at himself through his slightly overgrown sweater and the older couldn’t hold back the happy exclamation of Felix’s name as he shuffled forward. 

He genuinely was surprised when they announced him for the number one of their visual kings, but he took it nonetheless, catching Felix mimicking his showboating from the corner of his eye.

How cute.

“They ended up voting for each other!”

Minhyuk turned, pointing at Felix as the younger man bowed deeply, flustered at having been chosen. 

He should have known Minhyuk would’ve chosen his baby boy above all else, but that’s beside the point. 

“Hey Felix, good boy.” 

Felix flushed and bowed again, and Minhyuk was approached later as they began to help staff clean up, the sun having gone down and the festivities over. 

“Hyung?” 

Minhyuk looked up at him, tilting his head. 

“Yes, Felix-ah?” he inquired, glancing around. The others were busy hustling to help staff so they could all rest up, leaving the two relatively alone. Felix adjusted his pink sleeves and looked up at him. 

“Uh...can I come over this weekend? For...um…’practice?’”

Minhyuk took it for what it was, a proud and knowing smirk tugging at his lips. 

“Yeah, of course.”

Taglist----

@not-majestic-bluenicorn @kimnamshiks @atiny-dazzlinglight @queenofhimbos @daisyhwa @gettin-a-lil-hanse @yunhofingers @stormiestories @billboard-singer @sweetutopia @lovely-devil6 @babiebumm @jacksons-goddess-gaia @storytimedragon @netcookie @seomisaho 

[nevermindirah]

Yitzhak!

is a character! who Gregadiah What-Is-Math Rucka gave us almost no information about!

I've gone through Tales Through Time #6: The Bear and #1: My Mother's Axe with several magnifying glasses and done a lot of googling and taken my copy of the Tanakh off my shelf for the first time since (well, since the last time I needed to read Torah for TOG reasons, which I think was Booker Passover headcanons) and here's the best I can come up with.

In The Bear we meet someone who goes by the name Isaac Blue:

Read on for a lot of comic panel analysis and historical research and Jewish flailing!

So what do we know about this Isaac Blue person?

He's Lorge, he's got curly hair, he's basically a taller version of Joe as drawn by Leandro Fernández (ie an antisemitic stereotype why the fuck did they approve this character design?? and then why did they double down and copy-paste it to Yitzhak??):

He's got a mezuzah on the doorpost of his house in Alaska!

I screamed about the mezuzah way back in January in this post where I (very reasonably) assumed this character was Joe and spun myself a tale about how Booker is still Joe's brother so the mezuzah stays up even though Booker isn't welcome in that house for a century. Bottom line: the mezuzah is a tradition with origins in the commandment from Deuteronomy 6:9 to "write the words of G-d on the gates and doorposts of your house" and evolved over the course of the Rabbinic period into the modern mezuzah we see here.

I did unnecessary levels of google image search to glean absolutely no useful information about Yitzhak’s origins from this panel:

I've decided the variant cover of TTT 6 is Yitzhak because of a panel in My Mother’s Axe, shown here, and what's likely an unnecessarily deep reading of Exodus, discussed further down:

The person at the right of the bottom panel is wearing the same clothes as in the TTT 6 variant cover and has the same shoulder-length curly hair and hairy forearms.

Left to right, the people in this panel are Lykon (I'll never get used to him being white in the comics), Andy, Noriko (I think? why doesn't Andy mention her by name here?), and Yitzhak. Andy's robe has a stereotypically Greek design on the sleeve cuff, and I had to stop myself 10 minutes into a Wikipedia rabbit hole because Gregorforth doesn't think that deep about this shit. The solid clues as to timeline that we get in this panel are:

Andy's iron axe

the presence of Lykon, who Andy first met in 331 BCE

So all we know is that Yitzhak is an immortal, he was a contemporary of Lykon, and he's Jewish.

Isaac is the most common Anglicization of Yitzhak (which in turn is the most common Anglophone transliteration of יִצְחָק‎), and Greg always uses the (transliterated) Hebrew when he refers to this character. Yitzhak is the long-awaited child of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis, the child who G-d commanded Abraham to sacrifice but spared at the last minute. I see what you did there, Gregory.

Why Isaac Blue? This is where I pulled out my Tanakh. According to the New JPS translation, blue is the first of three colors of yarn listed in Exodus 35:6 among the gifts requested of the Israelites to construct the priestly garments for the Tabernacle and later the Temple. Then in Numbers 15:38 the Israelites are commanded to "make themselves fringes on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner."

And now for sandbox timelines party! Gregadiah gave us ALMOST NOTHING to go on, so I'm gonna make my own fun.

I, like many modern Jews, think the stories in the Tanakh are foundational mythology that are valuable because of how they've shaped our people but that contain some fucked-up shit and either way aren't meant to be a record of historical facts. Modern scholarship generally agrees that the community we now call Jews emerged as a distinct group of Canaanites sometime in the late Bronze Age (cw this video's host says the Name of G-d aloud despite being a religious studies scholar who knows that is not a name anyone but the Temple priests are allowed to say). The first non-Biblical written record of the people Israel is from an Egyptian source c. 1200 BCE, and the Biblical kingdom of David and Solomon was probably an exaggeration of whatever really happened during the Bronze Age Collapse. We start getting into historical-fact territory a few centuries into the Iron Age:

588 BCE Solomon's Temple destroyed, Babylonian exile begins

538 BCE Cyrus of Persia allows Jews to return to Jerusalem

515 BCE Second Temple construction complete

332 BCE Alexander the Great At Something I Guess conquered Judea, beginning the Hellenistic period of Jewish history — 331 BCE Andy & Lykon find each other

167 BCE another jerkface Greek king desecrated the Temple and basically outlawed Judaism

164 BCE recapture of Jerusalem and Temple rededication during the Maccabean Revolt

70 CE destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans, beginning of the Rabbinic period of Jewish history that we're still in now

What if... and hear me out... what if immortals come in pairs, and the pairs are:

Andy & Quynh

Joe & Nicky

Booker & Nile

LYKON & YITZHAK

What if Yitzhak was a priest of the Second Temple? What if he and Lykon killed each other just like Joe and Nicky would in the same city around 1300 years later, but instead of enemies-to-lovers speedrun with an absurdly long happily-ever-after, when Lykon died permanently Yitzhak decided to separate from Andy and Noriko and become the hermit we later see in Alaska?

We don't know how old Yitzhak is compared to the others, only that he was a contemporary of Lykon at a time when Andy was using an Iron Age version of her mother's axe. Other plausible origins for him:

a Jew of the early Rabbinic period, maybe a child or grandchild of people who were still alive before the Second Temple was destroyed

a Judean of the Second Temple era under the Romans or Greeks or Persians, maybe a priest, maybe not

an exilee in Babylon, maybe of the generation who got to return, maybe of the generation who was exiled (he doesn't look like he was 50 at his first death but who knows, he could've been mortal for both)

an Israelite of the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah, maybe a priest of Solomon's Temple or again maybe not

an Israelite wandering in the desert with Moses

THEE Yitzhak, ben Avraham v'Sarah, our patriarch who was brought up for sacrifice and then spared, and then spared again, and then spared again, and again, and again...

or! he could also be a Canaanite or other Levantine who predates the people Israel, who at some point in his very long life chose to join our mixed multitude, who like Andromache before him (and like Avram and Sarai would in this case do after him) took a new name to reflect the magnitude of influence this people has had on him

Why do I keep saying Yitzhak might have been a priest? It's thanks to the one detail in the artwork I could plausibly connect to solid research without getting a PhD real quick. Take a look at the gorgeous detail on the opening of his robe in the TTT 6 cover. He's dressed in rags, holes and dirt everywhere, rough stitches probably from hasty repair work — except for the neck opening. Compare that to this description from Exodus 39:23 of the construction of the priestly garments for the Tabernacle: "The opening of the robe, in the middle of it, was like the opening of a coat of mail, with a binding around the opening, so that it would not tear."

The next verses describe the intricate designs for the hem of the priestly garment. Yitzhak's ragged garment looks like the hem was torn off entirely.

Am I overthinking this? Yes I am! You're welcome!

My friend and historical research hero @lady-writes​ is in a Discord server with Gregadiah and asked the man himself some questions about all this. He clearly thinks he's being sneaky?? No shit Yitzhak is Jewish, dude, I want DETAILS!

I will not be giving up my Jewish Booker headcanon, I've put too much thought into it by now, the internalized shame of antisemitism explains Booker's depression too well for me, and it just adds so much richness to Booker/Nile both being children of forced diasporas. Fortunately (for him, not me, bc I'd do it anyway!) Gregothy supports fan headcanons even when they're not in line with his own:

One last thing before I close like 100 research tabs and go back to writing historical fantasy and/or porn! I love that, despite that atrocious caricature of a face design, our canon Jew and our fanon Jew are both Lorge and Soft and Kind, flying the face of the antisemitic stereotype of Ashkenazi Jewish men as small and weak, but also not falling into the New Jew / Muscle Jew stereotype that Zionism created. (I am trying SO HARD not to talk about Israel/Palestine for once ughhhhhhhhhh) Anyway here's a (US-centric but very good) primer on both these stereotypes of Jewish masculinity. Is this why I'm forever projecting my transmasc diasporist feels onto Jewish Booker the service sub? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’ll reblog a second version of this with full image descriptions so that there’s a version accessible for folks who need IDs as well as a version accessible for folks who get overwhelmed by walls of text.

[glowingbadger]

Okay folks, get ready for a Modern Au Fluffy Megapost~

Firstly, Sylvain and Dimitri have gotten a fluff post already that you can see here if you like! I'll think about whether I have anything to add that would be relevant to a Modern AU for them, but their sections are gonna be shorter as a result.

Yuri, Felix, Ashe x GN Reader

Fluffy relationship headcanons - SFW

Yuri:

- At first, it's not really in Yuri's base nature to be soft and gentle towards a lover. "Delicate" in the cunning, teasing sense, perhaps- but vulnerable and kind? Less so. Which is why it's a bizarre feeling for him when he finds himself wanting to be softer to you- wanting to comfort you and hold you and protect you. He doesn't really know what to do with this new-found tenderness at first, but it will start to manifest in how he treats you despite himself. His tone is completely different with you, he smiles to himself whenever he checks his phone to see you've messaged him, he starts saving songs you mention to listen to later- he simply can't help it.

- He won't let on that he's got quite a lovely singing voice for some time (he intentionally doesn't audition for musicals)- but one night, as your head rests on his lap as he reviews a script for the next play on campus that he's performing in, he starts quietly humming to himself. He stops as soon as he realizes you've noticed, but you carefully say, "I'm... pretty sure I recognize that song- how does the rest go?" He indulges you, humming the rest, even peppering in some of the lyrics. But by the end, he smiles with a quirked eyebrow and pokes your cheek playfully, "Don't think you fooled me with that line earlier- you couldn't repeat a single note of that song, you were just goading me into singing it."

- After this though, he does treat you to a song or two whenever you're upset or not feeling well. He knows that, with all of the complex and duplicitous relationships he's left behind him, it's a relief to finally have something he can give you that he's never willingly given to a partner before. So when you're sick or stressed or dealing with a mental health issue, he'll stroke your hair and sing softly to you, the quiet smile you wear tugging sweetly at his heart.

Dimitri:

(most of my thoughts are in the link above)

- Dimitri loves doing boyfriend tasks for you, like carrying heavy things (really any things) for you, reaching the top shelf, opening jars (he has broken one or two), and so on. He's the type to make sure to hold the umbrella over you even if it means he gets rained on.

- He's a clumsy texter, and his messages to you are always full of type-o's and ridiculous auto-corrects. He also has every voicemail you've ever left him saved on his phone and will listen to them when he hasn't seen you for a while.

Sylvain:

(once again, he's in the link up there)

- He sends you stupid memes of animals with "this is us" typed below. Most of his signs of affection are dumb and cute but goofy like that, and getting him to actually level with you and express his genuine love and care for you can be pretty rare.

- Sylvain secretly likes romcoms, like, a lot. He tries to brush it off, saying, "Oh you know, I've just seen a lot of them on dates." but his encyclopedic knowledge of their plots and cast suggest otherwise. Once he fesses up to you though, he refuses to meet your gaze and mutters, "it's just.. nice sometimes to think that a relationship can actually be like that, y'know?"

Felix:

- He's so bad at being soft, but he wants to be for you, but also doesn't want to be because ew feelings. Which he has a lot of. This is why the main way he expresses his affection is through physical contact. It's mostly in private, where he can be super cuddly with you- but in public, he'll still find times to lightly brush his hand against yours, or an excuse to "fix" your hair, mumbling, "It's flying all over the place, hold still-" even though it's really not that out of place, he just wants a reason to touch you.

- Felix is a funny one to bring your problems to. He's actually a surprisingly good listener for someone he cares about, so he's happy to just hold onto your hand and listen to you vent about whatever's bothering you. If it's an interpersonal problem, he'll probably offer to confront or straight up fight whoever is giving you trouble, which might at least get you to laugh, even though he fully means it. But for a more serious problem, he'll quietly wipe away your tears and remind you, "Hey, listen- you just... keep living your life as you, okay? You can't be anyone else, and I don't want you to be."

- He secretly loves it when you play with his hair. While he's studying or gaming, he likes to lean back against the edge of his bed or a couch and have you sitting behind him brushing out his hair, or even braiding or pulling it up for him if you like. He finds your touch incredibly soothing, and there have even been times when he's spaced out a bit and completely forgotten what he was doing because he was just enjoying your nails along his scalp and your fingers through his hair. Honestly, it's a bit like scratching a cat's ears- he'll even subconsciously lean against you if he's not careful.

Ashe:

- 'soft' is Ashe's default state in a relationship, and it is just the cutest. He wears his affections openly on his sleeve, and if you're upset or unwell, his concern is completely obvious. When you're sick, he'll immediately start looking up your symptoms and any possible solutions, and he's always got extra pillows and blankets to lend you. He knows your favorite snacks and movies by heart, and always has them on hand for off-days.

- He loves cooking for you, and cooking with you, if you're into it. There's something so intimate and domestic about making and enjoying meals together, and he has an uncanny way of making the best of even a crappy little college dorm/apartment kitchenette. Though, you're going to have to set some strict boundaries with your friends about date nights, because if you let them, your friends and his will swarm to his cooking and mooch off of the fruits of your labor- and we all know Ashe is too nice to say no.

- Ashe absolutely wants to own a pet with you. Perhaps even before moving in together, he'll help you select a small, low maintenance pet, and he'll always be delighted to come visit it and help you take care of it. If you're living together, he definitely wants a cat or a small dog, and he's a total pet-dad about it. He'll give them cute little bandanas to wear, experiment with which brand of food they seem to like best and so on. He gets a bit shy if you tease him about his doting, but ultimately, he'll just kiss your cheek or forehead and say, "I just want to take care of you both as best I can, that's all."