#next level crush incoming

[supernova-skywalker]

*sigh* He's very handsome isn't he?

[un-fwuit-un-fwog]

Leona flood incoming!

Leona with a f!reader who can read people super well, very gifted in body language and reading between the lines.

So, hear me out ...it's cannon he likes to work for his success, not just have it easy or instant. There's no fun in that. Make him sweat dear reader!

He is getting away with nothing. Nada. Poor lion has met his match. Talks a big game, he's a strategist, used to being the one who can see between the lines. And boom, he's blind sided and suddenly He's the one stumbling. He's met his match. And worse, she's subtle about it. Checkmate. 💘

So, this took me way too long to get to. . .SORRY!!

Anyway, love this idea! Leona doesn't talk a ton, so someone who can read him is a perfect match!

Synopsis: Leona mentally kicks himself as he finds himself becoming more and more partial to the prefect with the piercing gaze he swore to avoid. The Prefect thinks he's just terrible at flirting (he is).

TW: Leona yells at one point but it's quickly glossed over (his anger is quelled by a lil smooch)

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x Reader Who Can Read Him

It started just before Leona's overblot. Your friend had been taunting him but just as he was on the verge of snapping, you, out of nowhere, dragged them off. That wasn't all that odd, what was; however, was the look in your eyes. He only made eye contact with you for a brief moment, but when he did, it felt like your eyes saw into the very depths of his soul.

Leona DIDN'T like that.

The Next time it happened was as he was overblotting. Just as the viscous black ink began to surround his body, he made eye contact with you.

There was that feeling again.

After his overblot, he decided it'd be best to avoid the little magicless prefect with the unsettling stare.

That didn't happen.

In fact, he was forced much closer to you when your dorm was seized by Octavinelle and that left you to have to stay in the same room as him.

You seemed to predict every movement, change in emotion, and even thought. It's not like you were using this ability maliciously, quite the opposite actually. You used it to help him out more than anything else.

But Leona wasn't used to being seen. Not like this at least. As a prince he was used to being looked at, but never truly seen.

One evening the two of you were sitting in his room doing your own things when he started to feel hungry. Just as that feeling struck you walked into the room (when had you left?!) with snacks. You handed him one. It happened to be his favorite.

A shiver jolted through his spine.

"You good?" you look up at him.

He just huffs and rolls in bed to face away from you.

He thought he had gotten rid of you when you got your dorm back, but it appeared the gods simply hated him.

Crowley instated you as the spelldrive club's manager.

And, of course, you somehow managed to always carry out his orders before he could even give them.

It was after a spelldrive game that the next incident happened. The team had won an overwhelming victory. Everyone was in high spirits and Leona's smirk was cockier that ever.

You approached him in a moment when he was away from the rest of the team and gave his a detailed record of the game. That was pretty normal. What was strange was what you said "The team we face next week will be much tougher than the one we just faced. If we go in with this game in mind we'll be crushed. I set up a practice match with a team on a slightly higher level than the team we face next week so we don't get too comfortable."

And with that, you walked away. You just casually walked away after telling Leona exactly what was on his mind.

A chill.

This continued to happen over and over again. It was to the point that Leona was now questioning his lifelong dream of becoming king. Being seen by someone was just too unsettling.

It was family day at NRC and while Leona's family had promised to come, there was royal business they had to attend to last minute.

Most assumed Leona was elated as he wasn't exactly shy about expressing his distaste for his relatives. His face didn't show any clues that the assumption was false either as it was as stoic as always.

So why was it that when he came back to his room from begrudgingly greeting all the families who came to see his dormmates he saw you? Why did he see you sitting on the edge of his freshly made bed with freshly fluffed pillows, his favorite meal, and a set up chess board?

Why did the chill feel less unpleasant this time?

This was Leona's nightmare. No, not being up at 1:00 in the morning unable to sleep. Leona realized he liked you romantically. Out of all people, why did it have to he the one person he knew he couldn't hide anything from?!

For weeks after this realization he did his best to avoid you. When you greeted him he just gave a short huff. When you sat next to him during joint lessons his tail would flick and he would refuse to look at or talk to you. To everyone else, it looked like Leona had finally had enough and was shunning you.

It all bubbled up when he was leaving the locker room after spelldrive practice and saw you waiting for him on a bench. "Ah, you're done-"

"Would you just leave me alone?!" you weren't sure if it would be more accurate to compare his tone to a roar or a growl, but whatever it was, it sent all the nearby birds careening out of the trees.

Leona panted as he watched you agitatatedly.

Sure, you winced a little when he yelled, but you didn't run. In fact, after the initial shock, you didn't look scared either.

You casually stood up, stretched, and approached him. You stopped a few feet away before speaking: "Why would you ask me to do that if you have a crush on me? Is this some new weird confession tactic?"

He froze.

"What?"

"Whaddya mean 'what?' You've been really obvious, you know."

Leona started pacing, his tail flicking violently as he muttered to himself. "Why didn't you say something!?" he finally paused his ranting and pacing to yell.

"I thought you were just bad at flirting."

His eye twitches at that comment.

However, as he's about to open his mouth to speak, you grab his collar and pull him down to your level. Before he can react, he feels soft lips meeting his. He only realizes what's happening when you begin to pull away and he tries to chase your lips.

"Well, that's my confession" you yawn. You YAWN. You just kissed him and now you're yawning.

He's not even surprised when you read his shift in mood instantly "It's late and chasing someone playing hard to get is tiring."

Leona's eye twitches once more before he throws you over his shoulder and starts marching towards his dorm "I guess we should take a nap then, shouldn't we?" it wasn't really a question as much as it was a passive aggressive remark.

"Sure."

From that position, you couldn't see the blush rapidly creeping onto his face.

"So, we're dating now?"

"The h*ll do you think, Herbivore" the lion grumbles into your chest as his tail swishes agitatedly. You might have even thought he was upset if it wasn't for the way his arms wrapped tightly around you and his face pressed deeply into your chest. Just to test it, you slowly began removing your hand from where it was tangled into his unruly locks only to have him growl at you until you put it back.

Sure, sometimes it was impressive that you could read him, but other times he really was just too obvious.

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[cainetarot]

PICK A CARD: Random general messages

⚠️MY READINGS ARE EXTREMELY ACCURATE, TAKE IT WELL AS IT RESONATES, MY BLOG CHANNEL DO NOT SUPPORT SUGARCOATING STRICTLY ⚠️

PILE 1

Powerful! U have something under ur control but ur not realising it.

Abundance, money incoming soon 🤑🤑

Stay calm, grounded, become more giving and helping.

Don’t be afraid to try something new, start taking RISKS💡

A big karmic shift is occurring.

Someone important is watching u, and u might get an opportunity soon 😋

If u feel like something or someone is not serving u as u deserve, then consider letting GO.

Some people from ur past are noticing some sort of changes in ur life, INDIGESTABLE!😳

If ya'll have exes.....OBSESSED! Feels like he lost the best thing he ever had 💫 ( lowkey poo behavior )

*Suddenly DMs u with “I had a dream about U.” No, mf u had a NIGHTMARE 🤣

A close friend/bestie still gossips behind ur back..JEALOUSY JEALOUSY 💀💀

U are not who u were. 

U are intimidating to the weak 🥵🥵

Inspiring to the silent,

Irresistible to the worthy,

Keep going..

The Wheel is turning.

Old cycles are breaking.

The divine is intervening and it’s in your favor 🔥

But what's next in love? FOR EXTENDED/PERSONAL PAID READINGS DM ME STARTING FROM JUST 2.99$

PILE 2

People might think ur being quiet, distant, or “off” lately, but silence is ur power right now.

If there’s someone who hurt u, ghosted u, or manipulated things silently. Dawg they know exactly what they did 💀💀

Ur next source of income might come from something spiritual, creative, or healing related 🌸

Don’t overshare, don’t explain. Just MOVE in silence.

Keep up to "I dont chase, I attract" era 😋

U be giving off mysterious, "I don’t owe anyone my energy" vibes to people rn 🔮

Someone suspects ur in love or involved in some love situation or an ex is still LINGERING in ur energy (wow as soon as i thought about it, i channeled that song "mine" by bazzi).

Someone is in damn LOVE with u, is either confused or scared to approach 🫠

*suddenly everyone’s in ur DMs like “you alive?”, but then u launch ur new life and it accidentally goes viral* now they know u are 🤣

Ur about to attract abundance + true connections.

Either a new job, financial opportunity, or creative project IS ON IT'S WAYYY! 💋🔥

Best love advice for u right now? FOR EXTENDED/PERSONAL PAID READINGS DM ME STARTING FROM JUST 2.99$

PILE 3

DUDE, atleast lemme start...I already channeled one song 😭 LMAO

Ngl but I was feeling sooo nervous and blushing throughout, this is an absolute HOT one 🥵

Someone is interested, obsessed, and wants to win u (maybe two people) 👀

*U were listening to music and crying in a towel, ended up accidentally manifesting love* and now you have two crushes fighting for ur attention 💀💀

One who’s bold and romantic, is giving SEXYBACK energy 🔥

People may have assumed u were confused or behind but ur SMARTER than you act and people are finally realizing it 😶

Ur becoming “that girl / guy", entering a stage of financial glow up, self sufficiency, and public recognition.

Someone is either entering ur life or re entering can be an ex, but u'll know if it’s genuine or not 😏

Stop mentally living in the past. Emotional baggage is not ur luggage ANYMORE.

U are the blueprint 🫵🏻

The strategist. 

The MAIN character!

But who's ur next love interest? FOR EXTENDED/PERSONAL PAID READINGS DM ME STARTING FROM JUST 2.99$

PILE 4

WOW

TF BRO..

Ya'll attracting soulmate or higher level commitment energy 😳

Ur in a powerful rebirth, relationship, identity, or some perspective has ended.

Let the past go, someone wants the real DEAL with u 🔥

Major transformation is either underway or just happened, those relationships, jobs, habits, and emotional baggage that no longer serve ur evolution needed or needs to be put down.

A mentor, close friend, colleague or an ally will help you build something sustainable🌻

Expect collaboration, and commitment soon🌟

U already know what you need to know. Stop doubting your intuition 💅🏻

*Someone tries to lie to u and u hit them with a High Priestess STARE that scares their ancestors* 🤣🤣

wait wait also..

U say “I’m done with love” and suddenly 3 people text u out of nowhere. 

One of them is an ex. One of them is married.

One is your SOULMATE in disguise 🫣

Damnn I channelled those lyrics "yk baby i adore u" OMGG, take a look at it ❤️‍🔥

Ur ready to move again.

The fire is coming back⚡️

Who's that one longing for u? FOR EXTENDED/PERSONAL PAID READINGS DM ME STARTING FROM JUST 2.99$

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[obvious-captain-rogers]

1 and/or 20 for Rabbot?

From the prompt list here: 1. Are you drunk? and 20. It’s 8:30, I have a hangover and you’re annoying me

Jack could count the amount of times that Robby had been late to anything on one hand. Because despite the fact that, at times, Robby could be endearingly scatter-brained outside of work, he was always annoyingly punctual. Like, if I’m not ten minutes early, I’m late levels of time management. It was something that they went back and forth about since Jack was almost always perpetually five minutes late to everything.

So when Jack looked at the clock and saw that it was 7:30 and Robby wasn’t in yet- the rest of the day shift crew looking just as baffled as he felt as they gathered around the central hub- Jack felt the hair at the back of his neck prickle with something like worry.

“Alright, kiddos, look like you’re stuck with me for a bit,” Jack said and clapped his hands to get the residents and med students’ attention. Collins raised an eyebrow in silent question but Jack just gave her a quick shake of his head since he genuinely had no answers. “Dr. King, if you will take Whitaker and give them a hand in chairs, help thin the herd so to speak-” Dr. King gives him an easy nod before she shot a sunny smile at Whitaker and the two of them peeled off towards chairs, “Javadi, I want you with Dr. Mohan for the next couple hours-” he and Robby had talked about how Javadi needed to build confidence and Samira’s calm supervision and experience seemed just the thing to help make that happen, “Collins, Santos, and McKay, be ready to jump in on any incoming traumas with me.” Nods all around and then they were stepping away to start working with the patients that were already set up and waiting.

“Think we should be worried?” Dana asked as she leaned her hip against the desk, arms folded across her chest to exude a casual air even though Jack could see the concern behind her eyes. She knew Robby nearly as well as Jack did, so she was probably thinking the same thing he was: Robby being late probably meant trouble.

“Maybe. Dunno,” Jack said and that was the thing, wasn’t it? The thing that prickled under his skin uncomfortably. “His last shift…?” Jack trailed off and tipped his head questioningly.

“Nothin’ outta the ordinary,” Dana said and shook her head. “Nothin’ I would’ve thought anythin’ of anyways.” Jack just hummed and nodded along with her words. Dana was the eyes and ears of everything that went on in the Pitt so if she hadn’t thought anything was wrong with Robby before he left, then there probably hadn’t been. Though he still found himself unsettled by the whole thing. “Want me to try callin’ him?”

“Can’t hurt so you might as well,” Jack said and he knocked his shoulder against hers. “Keep me posted on our boy?” Jack’s mouth twitched up at the corner playfully.

“Always, Jackie,” Dana said and reached out to pat his cheek softly.

Jack didn’t have much time to think about it after that because he was being pulled from case to case. Between the trauma that rolled in- crush injury from a construction zone- and supervising the baby doctors, he had his hands full with what was in front of him. He was just peeling his gloves off after consulting on McKay’s facial fracture patient when he caught sight of a familiar lanky frame making his way into the ED, sunglasses perched on his nose.

“Well, look who decided to grace us with his presence,” Jack teased as he leaned back against the desk as Robby moved to tuck his backpack in its customary place beneath his work station.

Robby shot him a look just over the rim of his sunglasses. “Not really in the mood, Jack,” he muttered and Jack noticed the dry hoarseness of his voice, the way he reached up to adjust his sunglasses on his nose rather than taking them off now that he was inside.

“Oh yeah? Well, maybe you should show up on time then, Mike,” Jack said  and, quick as could be, leaned forward to pluck Robby’s sunglasses off his face. Robby cringed against the fluorescents and Jack took in Robby’s red-rimmed eyes as he squinted through the adjustment to the sudden burst of light. Jack let out a low, disbelieving laugh. “Are you drunk?” He kept his voice down but there was still an edge of incredulousness to it.

“Of course not,” Robby scoffed and scrubbed a hand over his mouth in another tell that Jack recognized. It was what Robby always did when he felt queasy and was trying not to be sick.

“So if I were to draw your labs right now-” Jack started, mostly teasing, but Robby cut him off with a flat look.

“It would be fine,” he grumbled narrowing his eyes at Jack. “I just… overslept.” Another Michael Robinavitch tell, pausing right before trying to feed someone a lie.

“Robby,” Jack said and raised an unimpressed eyebrow. As if Jack didn’t know him well enough to know when he was full of shit. “You wanna talk about it or am I just supposed to pretend I don’t see what’s right in front of me?” Robby’s jaw ticked in genuine annoyance at Jack’s prodding so Jack decided to pivot a little. “Come on,” Jack said and put a hand between Robby’s shoulder blades.

“I need to-”

“Come with me, I agree,” Jack cut him off and started walking, the steady pressure on Robby’s back making him have to either come along or wipe out on the floor. Jack found Dana across the way, her eyebrows shooting up at him all but dragging Robby by the scruff, and gave her a short thumbs-up to let her know that he had it handled.

He steered Robby into the break room first, only letting go of him long enough to pour a cup of black coffee, before he balanced the Styrofoam cup in one hand and caught the back of Robby’s hoodie with the other before he got it in his head to try and get away. This time Jack steered them away from the ED entirely and towards the familiar path to the elevators.

It was telling enough that Robby didn’t argue with him.

Jack let his hand drop from Robby’s back once they were out on the roof. “Here,” he said and pressed the lukewarm cup into Robby’s hands, making sure Robby’s fingers were curled around it securely before removing his own. “Probably need the caffeine.”

“Thanks,” Robby mumbled before lifting it up to take a sip. He grimaced as the bitterness hit his tongue but he didn’t complain as he took another measured sip.

“Talk to me, Mike,” Jack said firmly and he planted himself between Robby and the doorway back down into the hospital. “Was this drinking for fun or to forget something?”

Robby’s grimace had nothing to do with the burnt acidity of the coffee. “Neither.” Robby’s eyes were fixed on the dark liquid in his cup and he took another small sip, a stalling tactic, before he sighed heavily and continued. “I haven’t been sleeping well.”

Jack nodded, hoping it would encourage Robby to keep speaking but when it didn’t, Jack figured he’d have to slowly keep pulling information out of him. “So you got hammered instead?”

“I wasn’t-” Robby started, snappy and defensive before he paused to take a deep breath. “I thought if I had one, maybe two, it would help me relax. But then I just-” Robby bit his lip and shrugged. “Didn’t stop.”

 The doctor in Jack itched to check Robby over, run tests to reassure himself that Robby was okay, but the friend overrode that impulse and Jack just nodded silently. “Okay.” And that was it.

“Okay?” Robby asked, eyes finally lifting to Jack’s, with confusion etched between his brows.

“Yeah,” Jack said and tucked his hands into his pockets. “I mean, don’t do it again, obviously, but I think we’ve all been there at some point, right?” It’s why the statistics for alcoholism in doctors was what it was. Sometimes the stress was too much and sometimes people didn’t cope in the healthiest of ways.

“Should get back down there,” Robby said before he drained the last of the coffee from the bottom of the cup. His nose wrinkled a little at the taste before he looked at Jack expectantly.

Jack swept his eyes over Robby assessingly- more habit that actual concern at that point- before he blew out a breath and nodded. “Alright, but only if you promise me something.”

“What’s that?” Robby asked and tipped his head, eyebrow quirked up.

“Next time you decide to get plastered,” Jack broke out into a teasing smile so that Robby would know that they were good, “invite me along so I can finally see you let loose a little.” He winked at Robby, feeling a deep thrum of satisfaction in his chest when Robby’s face flooded with color as he blushed.

“Yeah, sure, alright,” Robby laughed and shook his head as he started towards the door. They fell into step together and Jack felt something in him settle at having things out in the open between the two of them. It wasn’t much, really, Robby telling him about his late night, but it was better than he likely would have gotten six months ago. Even baby steps were progress, as his therapist liked to remind him.

They stepped out of the elevator onto the ED floor and Jack took the cup from Robby’s fingers so he could trash it as they walked over to the central hub. “Pretty sure Dana’s got some aspirin stashed in here somewhere,” Jack murmured and moved to open up one of the drawers to dig around for it.

“I don’t need you to doctor me, Jack,” Robby said and propped his hip against the desk as his eyes flicked over the board curiously.

“Old habits die hard,” Jack said and offered the bottle to Robby once he’d found it.

“Seriously, Jack. I’m good. Go home.” Robby gave Jack a soft, reassuring smile. It actually reached his eyes and Jack believed that he was good. But there was still this protective instinct nagging at him to hang around for a bit longer, make sure that Robby’s smile stayed genuine and didn’t dim throughout the shift.

“It’s really not a big deal if you need me to-”

“Go home,” Robby laughed and shook his head. “It’s 8:30, I have a hangover, and you’re annoying me.” But there wasn’t any real irritation there, it was all just playful teasing and smiles as Robby popped two aspirin in his mouth and swallowed them dry.

“Gonna give yourself an ulcer,” Jack muttered before he fished out one of the mini bottles of water that Dana kept in her drawer of wonders. He cracked it open and shoved it into Robby’s hands with a pointed glare. Robby rolled his eyes but took a few mouthfuls dutifully.

“Okay, I’m caffeinated, medicated, and now hydrated,” Robby laughed and knocked his foot against Jack’s lightly. “Will you go home now?”

“Fine,” Jack sniffed indignantly, putting it on because he knew it would make Robby laugh. “Since you don’t want me around, I’ll go.” Robby snorted with amusement and Jack felt his mouth twitch up at the corner. “See you around?” Jack asked as he bent to fish his own backpack out from under the desk.

“Yeah, Jack,” Robby said and rolled his eyes with a fond sort of annoyance. “I’ll see you around.” The words finally settled that something that had been clawing at Jack’s ribcage since he’d realized that Robby was late. Because even if he was rolling his eyes and being sarcastic, the promise to stick around was sincere.

Jack shouldered his bag and let himself look at Robby one last time- he’d already been pulled away from the desk by Javadi and Samira to talk about one of their cases- before he turned towards the doors to leave.

[oneknightstand-if]

Percy Soulmate Comments

All right, here are all the comments from the Percy Soulmate help post found here. Too many to do the normal screencap thing. Hopefully this will help for all those seeking to become Percy's soulmate (or declare they are) at first sight!

Thanks to everyone who commented.

unhell-of-the-unwise

You must be more than a cuckoo, you also need other required stats, such as pure (atleast 3), will (atleast 7), and as far as I recall, you must have 100% Sweet either on the personality you showcase outside or the one you hide.

unhell-of-the-unwise

-The pure stat can be gained by choosing “innocent” actions, if I’m right. Options can be when having a crush (obvious or hidden) on Adrian and choosing the song options in the Apocalypse topic when you talk with him during club time. One song option will have romantic lyrics, you must choose the innocent option to gain purity. Another option can be when asking Merlin in the latest update if they need to feed during the drive at the abandoned warehouse. Avoid potty mouthed responses and lustful choices, or the Lust sin. -Will is mostly options that oppose Denial, such as “I’ve always wanted to go on a apocalyptic trip!”, it also helps that some of these options also raise cuckoo levels. -The Sweet stat is easier to mesure, given that it’s visible. Obviously, choose positive responses so that it’s 100%, or if you fail to do so, choose 100% Sweet as your hidden persona.

Basically, the PC must be some sort of modern Percival. Forgot to mention, but you also must not be corrupted/possessed, the whole “pure” thing, you know.

unhell-of-the-unwise

Oh, and don’t be a coward, it’s tied to Will options so I won’t further elaborate.

unhell-of-the-unwise

According to the code, there is a hero stat, so I suppose picking the most..positive option when having the react to your backstory helps.

unhell-of-the-unwise

I bid thee farewell as I cease my mindless rambling.

unbiquitousloser

@unhell-of-the-unwise Some corrections as I've 'ctrl+f'd through the code and you're mostly right. Pure is gained by: OBVIOUS SPOILERS INCOMING: Never swearing. This should actually score you enough points for the soulmate flag on its own, so long as you don't lose points. However, if you still want to curse in every language known to man, as swearing does not subtract points on its own, there are just enough points to scrounge up to still trigger the flag. In the polo route, you have to Instinctively save Pippa, and not back down even if you fail. In the the fencing route, you can get a point for giving the panhandler your spare change and by not saving Zain but by then applying pressure to the wound. After club, if you are not a Greed MC or panicking, you must go back to Help Merlin after they first appear. Next point appears during 20 questions; when the topic of God and Angels come up, you have to Believe (do not pray). If you are kidnapped by the call, trying to help your burning apartment building is another point. (There's another point opportunity sandwiched in here, but it's by vowing off all swearing, but swearing is fun!) If you don't go into the gas station, questioning whether Merlin paid for everything is a point; if you do go in, simply not taking anything is a point. If you have three points, you have enough. It's lost by being a filthy, self-centered blackguard! No stealing (names are okay)! No harming people to get ahead (don't even think about it) and 1000 poxes on you murderers out there!

unbiquitousloser

@unhell-of-the-unwise u_hero is specifically raised in three points atm, you can commit to saving Pippa (you get the point even if you fail), passing the stat check to save Zain, or standing between Adrian and the hellhound after club. You only need one of these flags.

unhell-of-the-unwise

@unbiquitousloser Ah, I see. Thank you for the corrections.

unbiquitousloser

@unhell-of-the-unwise Happy to help (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

nekoteus

@unhell-of-the-unwise The hero stat seems to be linked to succesfully saving people in club. So either chase down Pippa or knockaway the sword fragments in fencing club

randomguysayshello

Will>=7, cuckoo>=30,no corruption, don't be a coward, 1 or higher hero stat(the easy way is to rescue your clubmate), have 100 sweetness or your inner mind is sweet, have a pure stat greater than 3 (no serial killers, no pottymouths)

Quick purity guide

Polo club:- chase after enchanter moon(+1 purity), but will be removed by choice:-

★Actually, what the hell am I doing? I drop back to a sensible pace and leg Adrian attemp the rescue instead. (-1 purity)

Fence club:- choice:-

★I pause to give my loose change to a panhandler at the next intersection(+1 purity)

★ Remove my bully fencing glove and apply pressure to the area directly below the artery.(+1 purity)

★Remove my glove and clamp my hands around his neck(+1 purity)

Removed by:- ★Still i remain silent (-1 purity)

If you choose to do nothing, specifically:-

★Still I can do nothing more but stare at all this happening, If you are a cop(-1 purity)

Your Ultimate Secret:- ★Serial Killer(-1000 purity)

Hellhound chase:-

★I wonder if I can trip Adrian without slowing too much?(-1 purity)

★"Adrian we need to help M_pronoun" I,ve no idea what's going on, but feathers or not that M_man can't possibly take on that beast by M_pronounself(+1 purity)

The Tentacle Incident:- If you get molested by those disgusting tentacles, ★"Let go and save yourself!"(+1 purity)

Merlin Loredump:- If you ask a question about gods ★Still I want to believe in them (+1 purity)

Kidnapped:- (I think atleast)

★ "Isn't there anything more we can do about helping now?"(+1 purity)

★Atleast I'm not in the building (-1 purity)

★I stand up in detemination, intent on leaving this RV and returning to help at the apartment complex(+1 purity)

★Oh well. At least iw wasn't me(-1 purity)

★Perhaps this is my true nature after all. (-1 purity)

One option for killer but you are already negative purity(-1000) so what's one more

randomguysayshello

·Opinion on Merlin:- (Total -1 purity) First option:- ★My true opinion doesn't matter. Fully intend to take advantage of this situation. (No change, but unlocks the following choice):- ★I will play nice on the surface and try to manipulate Merlin(-1 purity)

·Opinion of Adrian:- (Total -1 purity) First choice:- ★My true opinion of Adrian doesn't matter. In circumstances like this, it's best to play nice to someone's face for one's own benefit.(No change but unlocks following choice):- ★That's right, I fully intend to manipulate Adrian for my own benefit

·Elevator scene(if the magic dance is still active):-

★I MC_motion my MC_weapon and wave it menacingly in the interloper's general direction(-1 purity)

Security guard scene(if magic dance is still active):-

★I MC_motion my MC_weapon and point it straight at the approaching security guard.(-1 purity)

·In the RV:-

★ I shrug and sit back down on the sofa. In the end, it has nothing to do with me.(-1 purity)

«If you haven't cursed and have a zero pothymouth variable you will get +1 purity»

randomguysayshello

@randomguysayshello ·Dream sequence, specifically the fight with Lancelot:- ★Never mind, fair play and the rules of engagement, I charge straight at him before the match has properly begun.(-1 purity, only if you are a lucid dreamer)

·After waking up, you decide what do with cursing in the apocalypse(at gas station):-

♦IF you haven't cursed ever (zero pottymouth):- ★As usual my mind remain pure and free of any swear words that might fit this exact situation.(+2 purity) •Every other option that indicates you will now start to curse more often reduces purity by 1 point

♦ELSE:-

•Trying to not curse entirely increases purity by 1 point.

��If you stay at the RV:-

★One never knows until they try. I attempt to hot-wire the motorhome(-1 purity)

At the end of the gas station, if you didn't go to shop or had too much fear and ran back to the RV:- ★"You paid for all this stuff right?"(+1 purity)

♦Killer option to reduce purity doesn't really matter

♠If you decide to ransack the whole store:- If purity is greater than one, Purity is set to zero, otherwise -1 purity.

♠If you take zero itmes whilst shopping(+1 purity)

♦If the RV has been sabotaged then, You will get a option to visit a shop:-

★I head off into the small attached shop to see if there's anything intresting in there(no change) ♦Pick a item or all items ★No skaes clerk.No security camera.No problem with me walking out the door with this MC_Purchase(-1 purity)

♣There's the guide done♣

randomguysayshello

@randomguysayshello You only need 3 purity points for one of the requirements for being Percy's soulmate, and according to the code you can still be a pottymouth and have atleast 3 purity.

[wettblanket]

ok ok with the fan fiction stan thing getting traction. stan as an artist in general...he manages to break into the comic scene, gets noticed by some pretty big companies bc of his sci-fi adventure stories knock it out of the park. he gets commissioned to draw and write a few character stories for DD&moreD. of course he creates incestuious twins and plays it off like 'oh game of thrones did it and its fine'. hes not projecting his inner desires or anything.

weirdly enough the mini story with the twins gets popular and the big boss company decides to keep stan on full time. with steady income he's able to start taking better care of himself, getting his teeth fixed (adult braces bc im projecting), indulging in some hobbies (he likes cars and collecting the little matchbox sets <3 ), and generally nerding out now that there's no one who originally knew him around. he's not disappointing anyone bc they didn't know the expectations his family/town/brother set on him. stan is free to be his true self.

he makes a lot of weirdo friends (the goth chick who does the ink work, Jimmy Snakes who is always dressed as a biker for some reason (he doesn't even own a motorcycle), the two writers who won't shut up abt anime) and settles pretty happily into his new life.

ford, avid DD&moreD follower he is, eats up the twincest content. he feels personally touched by it and commissions heaps of fanart. he desperately wants to meet the person who created the twins so he can pick their brain about all these decisions. maybe ford accidentally stumbles upon stan's commission prices (ford loses his mind knowing he's abt to get art from the twincest creator) and geeks out hard. stan finds it very endearing, not a lot of people are as vocal abt their enjoyment of the twins. they end up chatting thru letters or message boards and slowly building a mutual bond.

both want to boink each other silly (but keep it under wraps bc they've never even met face to face) and agree to met up at the next con. cue excited high school girl crush antics. trying to look the best they can for their online bestie and being all hyped up to meet each other.

stan sees ford first and puts the puzzle together immediately. he's a little torn up abt it bc they've not spoken since stan got kicked out. he pretends to just be an assistant to the famed twincest artist bc his gut is all squirmy at the thought of ford knowing hes the one who wrote those characters. it would be too obvious and ford would go right back to hating him.

ford is still hurt/pissed from their high school days (he never got closure or an apology) and is snarky abt stan's current job bc its not like he knows or cares abt anything dd&mored. they argue abt story lines of different characters/campaigns and ford realizes with a weird thrill that his brother is a nerd. no, stan knowing all the different illusion spells in the game doesn't give ford a boner shut up.

stan gets pulled away to do con stuff and ford just ends up stalking him the whole time, seeing all the thing stan is in to now. (there may or may not be some possum themed creature like ducky momo or chikuwa that stan is obsessed with bc I said so and it would be cute n funny) ford starts to wonder if maybe they could start again since they have all these things in common. maybe he'd be able to connect on a deeper level with his twin now that they enjoy the same things?

[hummingbird24220]

Chapter Nineteen: Catch and Return

The peace didn’t last.

It never did with this crew.

One moment, you were holding an absurd amount of weight for Usopp, engaged in some mildly life-altering casual conversation—

And the next?

BOOM.

Cannon fire exploded in the distance, sending the crew into immediate battle mode.

Luffy grinned. "OOOH! FIGHT TIME!"

Nami groaned. "WE CAN’T HAVE ONE PEACEFUL DAY!"

Usopp dropped his hammer. "WHO IS SHOOTING AT US?!"

Sanji flicked his cigarette, already jumping into action. "Whoever they are, they’re about to regret it."

Zoro, grinning slightly, unsheathed his sword. "Heh. Finally, some action."

Robin and Franky were already strategizing, but your eyes were locked onto the incoming cannonballs.

Three.

Four.

Five of them.

Your lips curled into a grin.

"Alright," you muttered, cracking your knuckles. "Let’s make this a game."

The first cannonball sailed toward the ship—fast and heavy, the kind of shot that would crush the Sunny’s deck if it hit.

You?

You caught it with one hand.

The force pushed you back slightly, but your fingers dug in, stopping the deadly projectile midair like it was nothing.

Luffy’s eyes sparkled. "SO COOL!"

Usopp screamed. "WHY DID YOU JUST CATCH THAT?!"

You grinned. "Why not?"

And before anyone could process that insanity, you hurled it right back—sending the cannonball flying toward the enemy ship.

BOOM.

Direct hit.

Nami threw her hands up. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

But more cannonballs were already incoming.

Zoro stepped up next to you, swords gleaming. "Tch. Try to keep up."

Another cannonball flew in—Zoro sliced it clean in half, the pieces harmlessly falling into the ocean.

Luffy grinned wider. "MY TURN!"

He stretched his arms, launching himself forward and punching the next one out of the sky.

Sanji, ever dramatic, jumped into the air and spun-kicked another cannonball back toward the enemy.

The ship rocked from the explosion.

Usopp, still trying to comprehend reality, flopped onto the deck. "You guys are NOT NORMAL."

Luffy cackled. "THIS IS FUN!"

Another cannonball came for you.

You caught it effortlessly, tossing it up like a baseball before throwing it with full force.

BOOM.

Direct hit—again.

Franky wiped a fake tear. "SO SUPER."

Robin, watching from the sidelines, simply smirked. "How barbaric."

Nami, rubbing her temples, sighed. "Why do I even bother?"

The enemy ship?

Absolutely wrecked.

After a few more minutes of destruction, the attacking ship turned tail and fled, as well as it could with two gaping holes.

Victory.

Luffy cheered. "WE WON!"

Zoro sheathed his swords, nodding. "Not bad."

Sanji exhaled, flicking ash from his cigarette. "What a waste of time."

You, still grinning, dusted off your hands. "Aww, c’mon, boys. That was fun."

Usopp, still lying on the floor, groaned. "You’re insane."

Robin chuckled. "And yet, somehow, we survived."

Franky flexed. "HELL YEAH, WE DID."

And just like that, another day of chaos and destruction aboard the Thousand Sunny had come to an explosive end.

_______________________________________

You had hoped that would be it for fighting today, wanting to get back to mischief, but the universe liked to keep you on your toes. After docking at a seemingly pleasant, unassuming island,  the crew was ready for relaxation, when the floor bellow them started to shake. 

This enemy?

Big.

Huge.

Absolutely massive.

A towering, monstrous figure—easily three times the size of the Sunny, covered in thick armor-like skin, wielding a mace the size of a house.

The crew had fought monsters before—but this?

This thing could level a city with a single swing.

And you?

You had one job.

Hold. It. Still.

“I Got This.”

The moment the monster swung down, you dashed forward, bracing yourself—

And caught the entire goddamn mace.

The force nearly sent you skidding back, but your feet dug into the ground, fingers gripping the weapon’s rough surface as your muscles screamed under the strain.

For a second—just a second—the monster pushed against you, trying to overpower you.

And then?

You pushed back.

"Not today, sweetheart," you muttered through gritted teeth, holding the entire beast in place.

The crew?

Immediately jumped in.

“WHILE SHE’S GOT IT—HIT IT!”

Zoro was already moving.

Three swords flashed, his feet sliding effortlessly across the battlefield as he took advantage of the opening you gave him.

"ONI GIRI!"

His blades sliced through the beast’s thick hide, sending a spray of blood into the air.

The monster roared—but you held firm, tightening your grip.

"Oi, Zoro, you done yet?" you called, grinning despite the strain.

Zoro snorted. "Tch. You getting tired?"

You laughed. "Not even close."

Sanji, flipping through the air, followed next.

"Don’t fall for her bravado," he muttered, mid-spin, before his foot slammed directly into the beast’s exposed jaw.

"CONCASSE!"

The monster staggered, but you kept it from falling, still holding on as it tried—and failed—to move.

Usopp, from a distance, whistled. "Okay. That’s just ridiculous."

Robin, calm as ever, gracefully crossed her arms.

"Well," she mused, "we may as well take advantage of this."

Dozens of arms bloomed from the monster’s back—gripping, twisting, locking it down even further.

It struggled—but with you holding it in place, it had nowhere to go.

"Chopper!" Nami yelled. "Go for the legs!"

Chopper, already in Heavy Point, launched forward, slamming into the beast’s knees with a powerful charge.

It buckled—but didn’t fall.

And that’s when Luffy joined in.

“MY TURN!”

Luffy grinned wildly, stepping up beside you.

"Ne, (Y/N)—you can hold it a little longer, right?"

You smirked, gripping tighter. "What do you think?"

Luffy laughed. "I think—"

He reared his fist back, muscles coiling, Haki crackling around his arm like lightning.

"—THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!"

"GUM-GUM BAZOOKA!"

Luffy’s fist slammed into the monster’s exposed chest, the sheer force shattering the air around it.

And with that?

The beast finally collapsed.

Dead. Defeated. Motionless.

And you?

You exhaled, shaking out your arms as you let go.

"Well," you muttered, stretching, "that was a workout."

The crew, breathing heavily, stared at you.

Usopp threw his hands up. "WHY DID YOU JUST HOLD IT LIKE THAT?!"

Franky wiped a tear. "SO SUPER!"

Robin smirked. "You do enjoy being a pillar, don’t you?"

Sanji lit a cigarette, shaking his head. "She’s unbelievable."

Zoro, wiping blood from his sword, huffed. "Tch. Showoff."

Luffy?

Luffy just grinned.

"YOU’RE SO COOL!"

You winked. "I know, love."

And just like that, another absurdly overpowered victory was sealed.

[misfitwashere]

Here's how Trump's vengeance machine works 

He's the mob boss who keeps his hands clean while others do his dirty work. 

ROBERT REICH

JAN 24

Friends,

Sorry to intrude on you again today, but now that we have come to the end of the first week of Trump II, there’s much to say about the new regime. 

For one thing, Trump’s vengeance machine is even more dangerous than it was before.

The Biden administration had given security protection to Trump’s former secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, his former top aide, Brian Hook, and Trump’s former national security advisor, John Bolton. That was because of credible intelligence showing all three in danger of being killed by agents of Iran. During the first Trump administration, they had authorized the drone strike that killed the powerful Iranian general Oassim Suleimani in early 2020, and Iran is out to get them. 

The outgoing Biden administration privately told the incoming Trump administration that the threat against the three continued. “As recently as the end of last week, two separate government representatives, two separate government agencies called,” Bolton told The New York Times. “They said our current assessment is that the threat level remains the same.”

But on Tuesday, with no explanation, Tump revoked their security protection. They are now at the mercy of Iranian agents in America. 

What had they done to deserve this treatment by Trump? They had committed the sin (in Trump’s mind) of being more loyal to America than to him.

Pompeo had warned Republicans at the Conservative Political Action Conference in 2023 not to look to "celebrity leaders" with "fragile egos. Hook was part of the old Republican foreign-policy establishment (Trump fired Hook on Monday). Bolton had become an outspoken critic Trump. 

If you think Trump’s nominee for FBI director, Kash Patel, will protect them from violence, think again. All three are on Patel’s enemies list, which is basically Trump’s enemies list. (I’ll have more to say about Patel next week when he’s up for senate hearings.)

This is how the Trump vengeance machine works. Trump is the mob boss who keeps his hands clean while others do his dirty work. 

Who else is likely to do Trump’s dirty work? 

Trump has pardoned all the men who attacked the U.S. Capitol on his behalf on January 6, 2021. Trump says they were not violent and did not have weapons — but the world saw their violence; they were also caught on video. Nearly 175 used dangerous or deadly weapons, according to prosecutors. 

They also threw Nazi salutes, posted they intended to start a civil war, vowed “there will be blood,” and called for the lynching of Democratic lawmakers. 

They attacked police with flag poles, bear spray, and a metal whip. They choked officers with their bare hands. They were convicted for, among other things, “hurling officers down a flight of stairs and plotting to kill FBI agents investigating the attacks.” 

A video shows them attacking Officer Michael Fanone, who suffered a heart attack and traumatic brain injury that day. Later he and his family received death threats after he testified in Congress on the incident. They beat Police Officer Daniel Hodges and crushed him in a door, his mouth filled with blood while he cried out for help. 

Now, courtesy of Trump, all these thugs are back on the street. Does anyone really think they will live out the rest of their lives peacefully?

Some of the police officers, including those who testified in January 6 cases, have said they fear for their safety now that the insurrectionists have been released.

“I JUST GOT THE NEWS FROM MY LAWYER… I GOT A PARDON BABY! THANK YOU PRESIDENT TRUMP!!!” Jacob Chansley, dubbed the QAnon shaman as a reflection of his horned-animal headdress and body paint that day, posted on X. “NOW I AM GONNA BY SOME MOTHA FU*KIN GUNS!!! I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!” 

Jackson Reffitt, who reported his father Guy’s participation in the January 6 riot and was a key witness against him, told reporters he fears for his life now that his father is free.

When Stewart Rhodes, leader of the Oath Keepers, was sentenced to 18 years in prison for his role in the riot, the judge said: “You are smart, you are charismatic and compelling and frankly that’s what makes you dangerous. The moment you are released, whenever that may be, you will be ready to take up arms against your government.” And, presumably, arms against Trump’s enemies. 

How many nut-jobs does it take to physically attack someone whom Trump has deemed an enemy? Just ask Paul Pelosi. 

Trump doesn’t deliver violence himself. He just says awful things about a person who has crossed him, like Nancy Pelosi, knowing this will be enough to trigger threats or actual violence by one of his followers. 

Ask the judges and prosecutors who have tried to hold him responsible. 

It doesn’t matter if the awful things Trump says about them are outright lies. In 2018, Trump tweeted a video of Rep. Ilhan Omar that falsely claimed she was dancing on the anniversary of 9/11. She received death threats.

Trump directs his mob with winks and nods. “You had some very fine people on both sides,” he says, reassuring violent bigots where his sympathies lie. 

“Stand back and stand by,” he says, teeing up the thugs, and then: "Big protest in D.C. on January 6th Be there, will be wild!" 

His henchman Elon Musk gives a Nazi salute and then denies that’s what he meant, but the neo-Nazis get the message. 

Trump’s vengeance machine isn’t only about retribution. It’s also intended to intimidate Trump critics — force them to think twice before sounding any alarms, and chill public knowledge or debate about what Trump is doing. 

Be warned. Be safe. And to the extent you can, protect people Trump slams. 

[theanalyzerguy]

Project 2025 is a plan to, in the words of project Director Paul Dans, "...march into office and bring a new army of aligned, trained, and essentially weaponized conservatives ready to do battle against the Deep State".It is organized by the Heritage Foundation, to "muzzle woke propaganda at every level of government", "gut the administrative state" (HUD, FEMA, DOJ, DHS, the Federal Reserve, CDC, FDA, EPA, etc.) and concentrate power into the hands of the President (Leeja Miller, in a video that is linked below, goes into detail on how this would work).Their claim is that "Only through the implementation of specific action plans at each agency will the next conservative presidential Administration be successful".The plan includes a [180 Day Playbook](https://www.project2025.org/playbook/), described as "...a comprehensive, concrete transition plan for each federal agency."

The plan is "the conservative movement's unified effort to be ready for the next conservative administration to govern at 12:00 noon, January 20, 2025".Project 2025 promises to "rescue the country from the grip of the radical Left" and to "unite the conservative movement and the American people against elite rule and woke culture warriors".Project 2025 lists problems with America such as:* The breakdown of the family* Immigration* The "totalitarian cult known today as The Great Awokening"* The erosion of constitutional accountability in Washington* Children suffering the "toxic normalization of transgenderism with drag queens and pornography invading their school libraries"* An "overseas, totalitarian Communist dictatorship" that is "not a strategic partner or fair competitor" and is "engaged in a strategic, cultural and economic Cold War against America's interests, values and people"* "Low-income communities" that are "drowning in addiction and government dependence"* "America's elites have betrayed the American People"* The left using climate change "to scare the American public into accepting their ineffective, liberty crushing regulations"They believe that "These are problems not of technocratic efficiency, but of national sovereignty and constitutional governance. We solve them not by trimming and reshaping the leaves, but by ripping out the trees -- root and branch."

Their broad goals are to:1. Restore the family as the centerpiece of American life, and protect our children2. Dismantle the administrative state and return self-governance to the American people3. Defend our nation's sovereignty, borders and bounty against global threats4. Secure our God-given individual rights to live freely - what our constitution calls "the Blessings of Liberty"Dans states that "The long march of Cultural Marxism through our institutions has come to pass. The federal government is a behemoth, weaponized against American citizens and conservative values, with freedom and liberty under siege as never before".Project 2025 is, in my words, a distinctly terrifying and highly detailed roadmap for:* Installing a Chriso-fascist oligarchy* Rolling back civil and human rights* Removing bodily autonomy from women and transgender individuals* The systematic eradication of minorities and other vulnerable groupsI don't use the words "systematic eradication" lightly or with hyperbole.

They obviously don't come right out and say it, but they state that:* Pornography should be outlawed* The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned* Educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders* Telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shutteredThe real problem with the above, apart from the obvious, is that they label the existence of LGBTQIA+ people as "inherently pornographic". They say that pornography is “manifested today through the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology".They say that the fix "starts with deleting the terms sexual orientation and gender identity ('SOGI'), diversity, equity and inclusion ('DEI'), gender, gender equality, gender awareness, gender sensitive, abortion, reproductive health, reproductive rights, and any other term to deprive Americans of their First Amendment rights out of every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists".They also state that "The president should direct agencies to rescind regulations interpreting sex discrimination provisions as prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity, transgender status, sex characteristics, etc."

They want to "maintain a biblically based, social science-reinforced definition of marriage and family" which would remove protections for same-sex marriage.Leeja Miller helpfully points out that the above language does not simply include transgender individuals, it includes cis women as well. I'd argue that removing the DEI language also allows them to target anyone that isn't a white, cis, heterosexual, evangelical (or other approved flavor of Christianity) male.Some other points of note:* They want to eliminate the Department of Education* They want to ban the teaching of Critical Race Theory* They want to bring back the practice of impounding funds

**References*** A direct link to a PDF copy of the project's Policy Agenda, aka their "Mandate for Leadership": [https://thf\_media.s3.amazonaws.com/project2025/2025\_MandateForLeadership\_FULL.pdf](https://thf_media.s3.amazonaws.com/project2025/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf), this can be found on the Policy page of the Project 2025 website.* A video from Leeja Miller: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k3UvaC5m7o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k3UvaC5m7o)* An NPR article focusing on the climate policy aspect: [https://www.npr.org/2023/08/08/1192634090/if-republicans-win-the-white-house-in-2024-climate-policy-will-likely-change](https://www.npr.org/2023/08/08/1192634090/if-republicans-win-the-white-house-in-2024-climate-policy-will-likely-change)* A UC Berkeley write up: [https://bpr.berkeley.edu/2023/11/17/project-2025-democratic-doomsday/](https://bpr.berkeley.edu/2023/11/17/project-2025-democratic-doomsday/)* An article from the NECC Observer: [http://observer.necc.mass.edu/blog/2023/11/20/the-danger-of-project-2025/](http://observer.necc.mass.edu/blog/2023/11/20/the-danger-of-project-2025/)* An article from PBS: [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/conservatives-aim-to-restructure-u-s-government-and-replace-it-with-trumps-vision](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/conservatives-aim-to-restructure-u-s-government-and-replace-it-with-trumps-vision)

[dani-says-stuff]

heyyy

Okay so .... You have a massive crush on Nate and nobody knows but Nate somehow finds out so you, Nate ,colby and sam are all sitting watching a movie, but colby and sam go out to get food which just leaves you and ethan alone. You tell ethan your gonna take a quick shower. He then asks if he can ask you something, he starts to back you up into a corner and starts to say stuff like "i heard you have a crush on me " ( all that flirty stuff, glides his hand up your hip trying to touch you ) he says it almost wispering he starts to kiss your jaw like ever so slightly .but you deny the whole thing ( stunned inside of what you have just heard) sam and colby come back with food and you have had your shower you sit next to Nate he starts to trail his fingers up and down your back ( kinda sexually)

-----------------------

the next day Nate teases you when you two are alone or when nobody is looking ( sexually) ( rubbin your thigh and rubbing himself against you breathing down your neck , jaw kisses ) about it all day.

Disasters to Desires

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

❥ Back to the Control Center

❥ Nate Hardy Masterlist

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

Light smut, 18+, be aware of what you read

Nate Hardy x fem!reader

request!

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: extreme awkwardness, shower mishaps, light smut, shower smut(?), fingering, probably bad writing, possible inconsistent capitalization, an absolutely obscene water bill incoming for y/n, so she should probably be on the look out for that.

this literally took me so long because i never felt like it was good- but whatever. this as good as its going to get i fear. i hope this is what you were looking for, i didnt end up doing everything bc it didn’t fit with the direction i was going, sorry for the wait tho! this is also my first smut/semi smut guys so... be gentle pls

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

It was later in the afternoon, the plan for the day had originally been to go to this old abandoned house in the woods behind your house. You could barley see it through the trees when standing on the back porch. Faint glimpses of discolored wood and chipping paint just visible through the thick branches if you turned the right way. 

The boys had been trying to convince you to let them take a look at it ever since you moved in a couple months ago. That it would be a cool way to do a call back on their channel. You, the boys, and Nate hopping over fences and creeping around abandoned places like you had years ago. 

An intro and a couple failed attempts at scaling your back fence rather than going through the gate—“for old times sake!” Colby had called briefly, soon falling flat on his face, his ankle catching the top of the fence—was about as far as the group got before the video became an obvious bust. 

It wasn’t a house after all, in reality, it was just someone’s old dilapidated tool shed. Only one level with a thrown together attic space where one may store spare buckets or trays. It wasn’t enough to warrant a video, maybe the more interesting clips would make their way onto xplore club later, but that was as far as the footage would go. 

But the energy was running high, the group was back together, and no one was quite ready to leave just yet.

So, the three boys—with your permission of course—decided to crash at your place, a movie night and popcorn provided by yours truly as long as the boys got the food. 

It was some trilogy that Sam and Colby had been raving about, offended that neither you nor Nate had any clue what they meant when referencing it earlier that day. They forced the two of you onto the couch, insistant on finding the movies on Netflix and binge watching them all that night. 

One movie out of the three down and you could say with absolute certainty, you had no clue what was going on. Hell, you weren’t even sure what the title was. It wasn’t that it was a bad movie either, in fact, you were sure it had to be good, Colby had never steered you wrong before in his recommendations and Nate seemed to be enjoying it… but that was the issue, Nate. 

He was seated next to you on your dingy couch. You’d never realized just how small the piece of furniture was until he plopped down next to you, thigh pressed against your own and an arm slung across the top of the cushions behind you. 

You could hardly breathe, let alone focus on the stupid movie, with your long time crush and the love of your life squishing himself up next to you.

Unintentionally, you were sure. He’d never shown real interest in you in the past and you’d like to think you’d made your feelings clear enough over the years, but nope. Everytime you tried subtly bringing up relationship status around him, he began raving about this mystery girl. His eyes would shine and cheeks would strain under the bright smile when he spoke of her. You couldn’t tell him how you felt when he loved her so strongly. 

So you stayed silent, bottling up the love you harbored for him, forcing yourself to be as platonic with him as you could. 

You thought you had it under control, but you were quickly proven wrong at the heat which flooded your cheeks when his hand fell down, twirling the strands of your hair between his fingers during the more plot-heavy scenes. Running his fingers through your hair and leaning closer and closer to your side through the movie. 

Your daze finally broke during the end credits, Sam slumping forward off his chair with an over exaggerated groan, “I’m starving�� he whined, “I totally forgot how long that first one is man” 

“Hey!” Colby cut in, immediately defensive, “You’ve gotta introduce all the main shit dude!” 

The blonde snorts, picking himself up from the ground and opening his phone to an ordering app, “I’m not complaining man, just hungry.” 

Nate nods eagerly, moving forward to the edge of the seat, out of his previous lounged position. His arm slipping down off the couch completely, falling to rest around your shoulders. You tried your best not to jump at the action, your muscles tightening and straining under the pressure to remain unphased.

The words this is normal. act cool. an endless mantra, repeating over and over in your head as you struggled to breathe properly. 

“Yeah!” he spoke, gaze flicking between the two boys, “can we get the food now?” he looks down at you, your heart seizing in your chest, “You cool with that? A brief intermission before we continue the saga?” 

You looked up at him, heart beating so erratically you could feel it in your skull and your breath catching in your lungs under the intensity of his gaze. All you could give him, and in turn the other two boys as well, was a jerky nod of your head.

God, why is this so much more awkward than usual. 

Before long, Sam and Colby had left, going to pick up some order from some restaurant. If your brain had been working properly and not hyper focused on Nate’s fingers brushing up and down your arm, you may actually know what it was you had agreed to ordering. Welp, a surprise it is, you’d been best friends with the boys for long enough that you all knew each other's orders by heart— so at least you knew it wouldn't be something gross. 

The two of you remained on the couch after the boys left, Nate soon becoming occupied by something on his phone to pass the time and you remaining awkwardly stiff under his arm.

You shifted, stretching your body to the side table and grabbing your own phone—maybe that would help you get your mind off of his warm skin pressing against your own. The movement however, brought the brunette out of his doom scroll, warm brown eyes now stuck gazing at your side profile with such an intensity you could swear you felt it burning your skin.  

You tried to ignore it at first, assuming he was only curious at what you were doing and would soon return to his own phone. After three strange instagram reels, you found that would not be the case. You spoke, eyes still trained on your screen, knowing the words would fail you if you met his gaze, “Can I help you with something?”

Rather than answer, he quickly shoots back his own question, his voice lost and far away as he speaks, “Can I ask you something?” 

Your brows furrowed and lips purse together in confusion, “Yeah,” you answer almost immediately, clicking off your phone to give him your full attention now, “of course, what’s up?”

You weren’t quite sure what the question was going to be, maybe something about filming or some weird article he just saw, but you knew you were definitely not expecting this. 

His body moved, inching even closer to you than before, now able to feel his breath tickling your eyelashes as he spoke. Your heart beating faster and faster at every inch evaporating between you. 

“I heard,” he trailed off, the tension so thick that it forced his voice to a hoarse whisper, his gaze switching steadily between your eyes, ready to back off at any signs of discomfort, “I heard so I just had to ask… do you have feelings for me?” 

Your eyes widened comically large, fear seizing your body and throwing you into overdrive. You were imaging things, you had to be. There was no way this was happening right now. “W-what?” 

He moved closer, leaning entirely over you now, your back pressed into the arm rest, “Do you have feelings for me?” 

Yep. It was happening. 

You didn’t know who told him that or how he found out, but his words gave no indication that he was into you as well. Or at least that's what you thought in your panicked state despite the fact Nate was currently hovering over you, eyes trailing down to your lips every once in a while despite his attempts to keep them from doing so. 

You laughed nervously, squirming out from underneath him and fumbling to the floor, “Y-you know what?” you rushed, stuttering over your words and completely ignoring his question, “Sam and Colby are probably going to be a little bit, so I’m gonna go. I’m just gonna run upstairs and take a shower real fast. I can, uh, I can practically still feel the cobwebs on my skin from earlier.”

That was half true. You walked straight into the biggest spider web you’d ever seen at the stupid shed and made the boys pick through your hair for at least fifteen minutes just to make sure there weren't any bugs or spiders hiding in there. The shower would also get you out of this complete and utter nightmare. 

You quickly stood, stumbling over your own limbs as you did, “So, yeah. Um, help yourself to whatever I guess, I’ll be back.” You rushed up the stairs, leaving Nate completely stunned and alone in the livingroom.

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

You were not looking forward to your water bill at the end of this month.

In an attempt to save yourself from further humiliation and awkwardness, you’d decided to camp out in the shower until Sam and Colby came back. Your phone propped up on the back of the toilet so you could check the status of the order and gauge how long it would take them to get back. 

You reached out from the curtain, checking for the fourth time since you finished actually cleaning yourself off. They were still at the place and the order was yet to be completed.

You groaned, throwing your head back “What the hell did we order? Why is it taking so long?” you whined, slumping down on the floor of the tub, warm water cascading over your body. 

Your fingers were beginning to prune. You didn’t know exactly how long it had been, but it had to be at least thirty minutes by now. 

You’d begun to disassociate slightly, watching blindly as the drops raced down the wall before you, the flow of water massaging your back further numbing your mind. 

At least until a light knock sounded from the bathroom door. “N/N?” Nate called out through the wood, concern resting on his words despite the playful tone he always seemed to carry around you, “N/N you alright in there?”

“Y-yeah” you squeak, “All good!” startled by the sudden person, you shoot to stand up, forgetting about the slippery soap residue coating the tub and slipping back down with a loud crash. Several bottles—soaps, conditioner, and shampoo—falling down with you.

Could this get any worse?

Yes. Yes it could.

And it did get worse. 

So. Much. Worse.

You didn’t fully realize he had entered the bathroom, the sound of the door slamming open deaf on your ears as the bottles came crashing down, until he ripped open the shower curtain with wide concerned eyes. 

“Are you ok?” 

“What the fuck!”

Both of your words reached a similar pitch, his tone taking on more concerned while yours remained completely horrified. 

Nate, bless his soul, too preoccupied by the loud, painful sounding fall to completely register how insane his actions were. Especially not as he reached down, hands already pulling you up. He was more focused on injury than your embarrassment, his hands finding purchase on your hips, firmly keeping you in place so you didn’t slip again. 

You tried to push his hands off, shrinking back and ripping the curtain back in place but his grip remained strong. 

“Hey hey hey, stop” he spoke, soft and concerned as his gaze trailed over your face, one hand moving to inspect the back of your head, “Are you ok?” he pressed softly, fingers searching for any sore areas from smacking it against the hard ground.

“M’ fine.” you squeaked, eyes trailing to the floor, completely mortified while your arms wrapped around yourself, “Can you go now?” 

He stopped, brows crinkling and head tilting to the side, “Why?”

Your eyes snap up to his, your jaw opening and closing repeatedly like a gaping fish, “Wha– I’m in the shower?” 

“I know? You just took a fall in the shower,” he winced, resuming his inspection of your scalp, “a pretty nasty one from what it sounded like.”

“Can we do this later?”

“And risk overlooking a concussion?” he scoffed, "No. Are you insane?"

“Nate,” you spoke, voice stern despite the heat flooding into your cheeks and neck, “I’m naked.”

For some reason, that’s what got him. All his movement stopped, “Oh.” he whispered, voice breathless and eyes wide as his gaze swept over your bare body. 

The seconds seemed to last centuries, Nate stunlocked as he looked over your form, and you too embarrassed to do anything but stay completely frozen, eyes anywhere but on him. 

“Do I have to?” he finally speaks, breaking the silence. You look at him, mortification and confusion washing over your face. Or at least you were mortified until you caught his eyes, pupils blown and gaze soft as it roamed your skin. 

That's when you finally realized his question wasn’t meant to pick on you earlier. He was being genuine, and he has feelings for you too, very deep ones if his current actions are anything to go by. 

“Do you have to what?” 

His eyes finally make their way back up to yours, locking steadily in place and searching for any sign you want him to back off, “Do I have to leave?” 

You melt, you were certain you’d be a puddle under his intense heated gaze if not for his hands keeping you steady. You allow your eyes to trail down to his lips, “No.” 

That’s all it takes for him to lunge forward, lips eagerly rushing to find yours. He’s uncaring of his clothes, still on and becoming soaked from the steady stream of water. All that matters, is after years he’s finally able to kiss you. 

He pushes you backwards, your body quickly coming in contact with the cool tile behind you, the temperature a delicious contrast to the warmth of his touch trailing over your body. Hands trailing up and down, massaging over any skin he can. Your arms, waist, hips, chest, no part of you is forgotten by him as he continues to kiss you. Your own hands clinging to his quickly dampening hair and across the back of his neck, holding on tight as he continues to explore your body with fervor.

Your lungs begin to burn, the need for air overwhelming, but neither of you want to give up this moment. Reluctantly you pull away, head resting back against the wall, chest rapidly moving up and down, quick shallow breaths escaping your mouth. 

It didn't seem Nate was as ready to quit as you were though, his lips— much like his hands, now moving to capture more of your skin. Kisses moving from the corner of your mouth, down your chin, across your jaw, anywhere he could reach. 

His arms moved, spurred on by the choked wimpers leaving your lips at the alternation of kisses and small bruises he was peppering on the tender parts of your neck. One hand resting firmly against your hip and pressing you securely against the wall while the other trailed between your thighs. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.” he breathes against your skin quickly before returning to his previous actions. Any moment he spent talking rather than have his lips on you, was a moment wasted. 

You moaned, gripping tight to his hair at a particularly harsh pull, him biting softly upon your skin, “I think I have an idea.” 

He only muffled a small laugh, refusing to abandon the warm smooth skin he was currently painting in a swath of dark purple and red bruises. 

His hand moved, lithe finger exploring the inviting velvet folds of your center. Stroking up and down, exploring you, gauging what you liked and didn’t like by the soft sounds escaping your swollen lips. He finally found a smooth rhythm, stroking the pearl at the apex with his thumb while his fingers prodded around your center, pumping in and out at a methodical pace. 

You clung to his hair, his ministrations refusing to let up even as your legs began to quake, unable to support your weight fully anymore. Rather than slow, he simply pushed you further into the wall, moving closer to take more of your weight on himself, keeping you steady and upright as he continued. Moving faster and faster as your pleasured moans grew louder and louder, echoing off the walls of the small bathroom.

Your skin felt as if it was on fire, as if you were burning alive, consumed by the fires of passion held back behind his gaze, and you wished it would never stop. If you could pause this moment and live here forever you would. 

A coil pulled tighter and tighter in your gut, legs shaking beneath you as it did. Tighter at each drag of his fingers over your skin, tighter at each suck and kiss he placed upon your collarbone, until it finally snapped. Moaning his name loud and unrestrained at the release, a tremor ran through his own body at the beautiful sound, before falling limp against him, clinging desperately to his shoulders as the aftershocks racked your frame. 

He traced his fingers up and down your back now, loving kisses placed against your temple while you regain your composure. 

He was about to ask if you’d like to take it to the bedroom, some flirty remark passing through his lips once you finally found the strength to pick up your head and meet his gaze. But then the front door opened, followed by the loud calls of Sam and Colby back with the food. 

He shook his head, a slight smile on his lips, before leaning down. Placing a soft, loving kiss against your lips.

“I guess we’ll just have to finish this later, huh?” 

“Oh absolutely.”

once again, sorry for the wait @serendipity432 ! hope it's what you were thinking! :)

[thatstormygeek]

We are literally facing the authoritarian future that John Stormer was warning us about back in 1964. Only instead of “communists” in the State Department, it’s a billionaire president with the avowed goal of ending union rights and locking up or using the Army with live ammunition against those who protest his policies.

Kirk and his followers essentially predicted in 1951 that if today’s “hairdressers and working tallow-chandlers” — college students, women, working-class people, and people of color — ever got even close to social and political power at the same level as wealthy white men, there would essentially be a communist revolution in the US, handing us over to Stalin and his Politburo. ... Wealthy white conservatives freaked out as the morbidly rich promoted the idea that America was experiencing a “moral decline” that could only be fixed by ending the union movement and other “liberal” causes that shared the union movements’ populist goals. They became convinced that they were seeing Kirk’s prophecy play out in real time on their television screens every night: the “communists” — those uppity racial minorities, women who’d forgotten their “rightful place in society,” students who objected to Vietnam, unionized workers, and gender minorities — were on the verge of “taking over” America.

Their plan was to declare war on labor unions so wages could slide back down again, end free college across the nation so students would live in fear rather than be willing to protest, and increase the penalties Nixon had already put on drugs so they could use those laws against their scapegoats, particularly the hippy antiwar protesters and Black people demanding an end to police killings. They also wanted to outlaw abortion, to put women “back in their place.”

Thus, Reagan massively cut taxes on rich people and raised taxes on working-class people 11 times. For example, he put income taxes on Social Security and unemployment payments, and put in a mechanism to track and tax tips income, all of which had previously been tax-free but were exclusively needed and used by middle-class people. He ended the tax deductibility of credit-card, car-loan, and student-debt interest, overwhelmingly claimed by working-class people. At the same time, he cut the top tax bracket for millionaires and billionaires from 74% to 25%. (There were only a handful of billionaires in America then, in large part because of previous tax policies; today’s democracy-destroying explosion of billionaires followed Reagan’s, Bush’s, and Trump’s massive tax cuts on the rich.) Reagan declared war on labor unions, crushed PATCO in less than a week, and over the next decade the result of his war on labor was that union membership went from about a third of the American workforce when he came into office to around 10% at the end of the Reagan/Bush presidencies. It’s just now beginning to recover from its low of 6% of the private workforce.

[theromanticscrooge]

Why I Love Petunia Pig and Lord Boxman's Rose Tinted Glasses Sequences

In the new Looney Tunes movie “The Day the Earth Blew Up,” Daffy and Porky are about to lose their childhood home because they’re having difficulty keeping a job (Story of my life). It’s raining outside and they’re brainstorming about what to do next at the local diner. Enter: Petunia Pig. Porky’s eyes are immediately drawn towards and glued to her. He dons rose tinted glasses that frame her as a L’oreal model with long, flowing hair, a graceful gait, and heightened reality. Its the Looney Tunes treatment of a classic love interest introduction that tries to emphasize a character’s overall sex appeal, femininity, and desirability.

Where other depictions insist that the daydream and person of interest are one and the same, Porky’s daydreams are cut with the real Petunia. The poor gal is absolutely drenched and miserable, looking for a reprieve after a frustrating day at work. Instead of flipping her hair, she’s trying to wring out water. There’s no model poise. She stumbles around and encounters the same clumsy, slapstick fare that Porky or Daffy do when the camera focuses on them.

The stark contrast between Porky’s lovestruck stare and Petunia’s gag-riddled introduction had me rolling with laughter. It only gets better when viewers learn that Petunia is an unashamed geek obsessed with making the perfect gum flavor. Its not Quirky Girl TM, which is Disney’s attempt to manufacture a mainstream and palatable version of a weird girl character. This is the genuine article: someone that’s just weird, has niche interests, matches and challenges how awkward Porky is, and owns it with no wink or nudge at the audience. Petunia Pig is the only Petunia Pig in this fictitious universe and that’s exactly why the audience falls as hopelessly in love with her as Porky does. While Porky starts as the gobsmacked lovesick dweeb, he’s still very into Petunia as he learns more about her beyond appearance and develops strong, fantastic chemistry with her as the movie plays out.

I’m convinced that more romance subplots or love stories period could take notes from Petunia’s introduction here. The one other sequence I’d point at as a really fun take on the love interest showcase is Professor Venomous’ rose tinted glasses stare in the episode “We’re Captured” in O.K. K.O. Venomous technically has the love interest branded introduction for his first on-screen appearance. His sequence is light, fluffy, and very centered on the idea that Boxman thinks he’s hot.

To me, its a lot more interesting to unpack the implications behind his elevator eyes sequence with Boxman. He’s been frustrated and baffled by Boxman until Boxman takes a pie-shooting cannon and attacks his rivals with campy, Rambo-inspired gusto. Later episodes highlight that Venomous is bored and jaded. He’s powerful, he has resources people want, and everybody bends over backwards or cowers in his presence. Boxman initially comes across as a pathetic doormat trying way too hard to impress him. The Rambo sequence is Venomous getting a glimpse at what angry, confident, and scrappy Boxman looks like. He’s resourceful. He’s fun. This side of him would pose a challenge and stand on PV’s level rather than just stroke his ego.

Both of these are examples of love interest introductions that do more than just inform the audience that “Our POV character thinks they’re hot!” In Petunia’s case, it’s a subversion, a clever joke, and setting the tone that Petunia is an every man. There’s no special treatment or forced attempt to sell the audience that she’s just the love interest and nothing more. No, she’s the third lead in her own right. In Boxman’s case, it’s an outsider perspective on what Boxman looks like from a romance story slant since viewers are familiar enough with him they’re used to him as a goofy, silly Saturday morning cartoon villain. Its a fun nod to the incoming slow burn. The hopeless crush is reciprocated. PV just happens to be a lot more closed off and less obvious than Boxman is with his feelings.

[yetisidelblog]

Donald Trump just took the oath of office to become our 47th President. He has signaled that he will team up with billionaires like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos to crush worker organizing. If unions are going to make it through the next four years, we’re going to need all the help we can get at the state level.

We have a huge opportunity to protect workers by passing state legislation that safeguards our right to organize at the state level. Can you send a letter to your governor today urging them to take action to protect workers?

Here are three things that state governments can do right now to protect workers’ right to organize:

Allow striking workers to receive unemployment benefits (UI): Strikes are one of the most powerful tools workers have, but they can also be an economic hardship. So far, nine states have passed legislation allowing strikers to receive UI benefits. Bottom line: UI for strikers helps workers stay on the picket line and win against corporate greed.

Pass “worker freedom of conscience” laws: These laws prohibit bosses from forcing their employees to attend meetings where they are subjected to political, religious, or anti-union propaganda on the clock. Studies have shown that workers are less likely to win their union the more they are forced to attend anti-union meetings, which employers conduct in about 90% of union drives. So far, at least 10 states have passed laws prohibiting captive audience meetings

Repeal “right-to-work” laws: “Right to work” sounds nice, but the reality is that right-to-work laws weaken unions by allowing unionized workers to opt out of paying union dues while still benefiting from a union contract. States with RTW laws have lower union density and higher income inequality than states that don’t. Twenty-five states currently have RTW laws.

Take a second to send our message to your Governor, urging them to protect workers during the 2nd Trump administration!

@upontheshelfreviews

@greenwingspino

@one-time-i-dreamt

@tenaflyviper

@akron-squirrel

@ifihadaworldofmyown

@justice-for-jacob-marley

@voicetalentbrendan

@thebigdeepcheatsy

@what-is-my-aesthetic

@ravenlynclemens

@thegreatallie

@writerofweird

@anon-lephant

@mentally-quiet-spycrab

[superman-the-secret-third-thing]

Superman And Environmental Criminology!

Action Comics #8 (1938)

I like this one for showing off how Superman can be used for good in the real world- by using fiction as a medium to bring attention to real world issues, and in this case: Where/How you grow up affects the adult you become.

Clark Kent is watching a trial for a young boy, Frankie, who has been put in jail for robbery and assault for two years. He's presumably in his teens, based on his reaction.

He overhears the rest of the kids friends saying that they need to talk to "Gimpy" who turns out to be their contact/selling guy whatever.

Gimpy has a deeply...unfortunate countenance.

The kids are there to enact the classic "Brooklyn Pear", due to his broken promise to bail them out- but he manages to ward them off by telling them how to get a big score.

After they leave, he turns around and calls the fuzz on the hoodlums, only for superman to crush the phone, and kick his ass for betraying children. He needs the get the f out, or Superman is going to show him The Implication.

The "Brooklyn Pear" is nothing compared to the "John Doe Makeover".

Superman goes out and collects the kids, foreshadowing an "obstruction of justice" and "destruction of public property" charge, which carries a fine of nothing, because who the fuck is going to arrest Superman. He doesn't have a Social Security Number or wrists that can be restrained by any mortal creation.

He tries to help them by telling them "stealing is wrong" but also lets slip that Gimpy has stabbed them in the back. They do their best impression of an A4 class Locomotive Mallard get steamed and race to introduce Gimpy to their fists.

Gimpy tries to shoot one of them in the fucking face.

Superman proceeds to toss him into the river, presumably giving him pneumonia and gravity-induced PTSD. Nick tries to bash in his skull from behind, like an asshole.

Superman tries to scare the kids straight by bouncing on a telephone wire but they, being little more than kids and also not finding him particularly scary- just think its fun.

He then thinks that they maybe they turned to a life of crime because of the poor neighborhood that they inhabit.

He turns to a newspaper...seeing the headline about low-income housing- rubs his chin and strains his incredible wrinkly sack- and gets a devilish idea. MASS COLLATERAL PROPERTY DAMAGE! airhorn noises

He personally goes to their street, yells at everyone to get out and levels the entire neighborhood. The police- reasonably assuming that he's gone insane, try to shoot him with bullets and then a fucking bomb. He then dances away, giggling like a schoolgirl.

The government did build affordable housing after that- and the Police Chief, talking to Clark thinks that Supe did a good thing- but will also try to put him in jail.

...Superman really looks like a dick if you just read those last two pages ha ha

Next Time...SUPERMAN CONTRIBUTES TO POLLUTION!

[dailyanarchistposts]

The First Stirrings of Communism

The development of agrarian capitalism in the 15th-17th centuries created new forms of exploitation. The so-called English Revolution of the 17th Century strengthened the position of the landowners. The Civil War brought a ‘new aristocracy’ of yeomen landowners to power. The rate of enclosure, sanctioned by Parliament in their own interest, increased and a ‘war within a war’ of landowners against the rural poor and landless intensified. The power and ideology of the land owning class fused with and influenced the development of capitalism. Accumulation of wealth and the protection of private property became virtually the sole purpose of government and the state. At the same time, this period of ferment also threw up new radical ideas. A small group of unemployed labourers and landless farm workers gathered at St.George’s Hill near Walton-on-Thames in Surrey in 1649 and began to cultivate the common land. This group, known as the Diggers or True Levellers, issued a call for the people to have access to the forests and common lands. Harassment from the local landlords and continued attacks resulted in their settlement being destroyed. The Diggers thought they could bring about a revolution and communism of the land through example and reason. The Levellers were brutally crushed and radical publications were banned. The war of the landowners against the rural poor continued into the next century. As capitalism became the dominant economic system, landowners were forced to look for ways of increasing income from their land such as keeping sheep for wool, growing grain, raising livestock, forestry and land leasing.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #323: Sei Shonagon (Berserker)

ngl it’s a little embarrassing to still have summer servants to build when the event’s already over, but tbh the party don’t stop until Sei Shonagon says so! with her new Berserker class, Sei is even less likely to listen to anyone else, but she’s still suspiciously close to her original form- she’s still a Bard, but this time she’s graduating from the college of Swords to shoot lasers out of a giant hammer. speaking of, her fighter side upgraded to Totem Warrior Barbarian this time to grab a skateboard and get some serious zerker strength.

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

next up: molay oh oh, we come molay!

Ancestry & Background

Sei’s still a Human, though we’re dropping her mark in favor of just making her a variant human. that means she gets +1 Strength and Charisma, as well as proficiency in Acrobatics for cool skateboard tricks, and the Crusher feat to give her another point in Strength and to power up her hammer time. now you can knock a creature up to one size larger 5 feet away once a turn, and if you score a critical hit on a creature while dealing bludgeoning damage you give everyone advantage to hit them for a round.

we’re also slightly changing your background for more of a punk feel. I know we normally don’t do this, but you’re definitely not paying regular dues to anyone atm, so instead we’ll make you an Urchin variant, giving you Sleight of Hand and Performance proficiency for extra-skilled graffiti. though tbh the main reason I wanted this background was to pick up the urchin’s feature, City Secrets, halving the travel speed between any two parts of a city for the most liver-crushing bar crawls blackbeard’s ever seen!

Ability Scores

Sei’s still just as much a force of nature as before, so her highest score should still be Charisma. that being said, madness enhancement really helps your lift, so Strength should be second highest.  Dexterity is next to keep you from wiping out. that means our Constitution is a little lower than I’d like, so Blackbeard might outdrink you yet. of course, Intelligence is low, and Wisdom is lowest. I’m pretty sure I’ve said this every berserker, but madness enhancement is one hell of a drug.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: normally I’d get the bard levels done first since Sei was already an artist, but we kind of need the barbarian’s extra HP and AC to survive the first few levels in a bikini. thankfully, barbarians come fully equipped with Unarmored Defense to add your constitution to your armor class, and you can even use a shield and keep your AC up! (if you can skate on a shield, can you use a skateboard as a shield? scientists demand answers.)

you can also Rage as a bonus action, both to give yourself resistance to incoming physical damage, get advantage on strength checks and saves, and you deal extra damage with melee strength-based weapons, as long as you don’t wear heavy armor. rage lasts a minute (or until you run out of stuff to hit), and you won’t be able to cast or concentrate on spells for the duration. right now, that’s not a problem.

one last thing, you now have proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Athletics and Perception checks. maybe now you can beat blackbeard in a drinking contest.

2. Barbarian 2: second level barbarians go a little wild thanks to their Reckless Attacks. you get advantage on all your attacks for a turn, at the cost of everyone else getting advantage on their attacks against you for the rest of the round. in turn, you get a Danger Sense, giving you advantage on dexterity saves you can see coming. having a skateboard is kind of like having haste. or it will be eventually. for now, being able to skate around fireballs is nice.

3. Barbarian 3: at third level we finally get our barbarian subclass! I’ll be honest this was a difficult choice. at first I thought about going with a zealot or beast barbarian to get some of Sei’s supposed psychological effects from her NP, but she doesn’t have a god backing her, nor does she bite people. (as far as I know. tbh I wouldn’t be surprised.) in the end, I saved all the mental mumbojumbo for the bard, and we’re going with Totem Warrior for some berserk powerplays and more skateboard.

at the start, all totem warriors are Spirit Seekers, letting you cast Beast Sense and Speak with Animals as rituals. it’s nice, but most people don’t use rituals that often thanks to the time constraints. the big draw this level is your Totem Spirit, an animal that gives you special powers when you rage. the most popular pick is of course the bear since it gives you resistance to all damage, but Sei’s not super tough! instead, we’re grabbing the Eagle totem to give everyone disadvantage on opportunity attacks and the ability to dash as a bonus action each turn while raging.

you’ve also been camping enough to get some Primal Knowledge, giving you proficiency with Survival checks.

4. Barbarian 4: use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Constitution to improve your AC and your HP. it’s a retroactive boost, so you get four extra points of HP now!

5. Bard 1: okay, we’ve got some baseline not dying set up, let’s get artistic. bouncing over to bard nets you proficiency with Arcana, since you have to get your hammer from the servantverse, and that means you have to know what the servantverse is. you also learn Bardic Inspiration, giving you the ability to give a d6 to an ally as a bonus action. they can then use it to add a d6 to an attack, check, or saving throw made in the next in-game minute. or more likely they’ll forget about it almost immediately. kind of disappointing, but we have a much more fun way to use inspiration later. for now; Spells!

you cast these using your charisma, first off, and you can cast cantrips like Friends (Sei can power her way through a minute of conversation pretty easy) and Prestidigitation (you can use it to “soil” things, so that might count as putting paint on stuff), but for higher tier stuff you’ll need spell slots. right now your spells are Color Spray (blindness isn’t really Sei’s thing, but spraying paint in someone’s eyes will keep them from seeing), Bane (the psychological things her NP is supposed to do), Longstrider (more skating! MORE!) and Heroism to buff up the party with memories of all the summer fun they had together.

6. Bard 2: second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half your proficiency bonus to checks you wouldn’t normally add it to. you’re pretty flexible, all things considered. you also learn a Song of Rest to add to your party’s healing over short rests. if they ever use their healing on short rests.

you can also use Silent Image to tag walls for up to 10 minutes in up to a 15’ cube of space. you can even move it if you really want to, but paint doesn’t usually do that.

7. Bard 3: at third level we get our bardic college, and as a Swords bard you can cast spells through your weapons, so a hammer laser is looking pretty possible. less importantly, you get a Fighting Style, either Dueling for +2 to one-handed attacks, or Two-weapon to add your strength or dexterity to your off-hand attack damage. neither one matters to a girl wielding a giant hammer, so it’s up to you!

the real benefit this level is your new Blade Flourishes. whenever you attack, you can add 10’ of movement to your walking speed that turn, and you can spend one inspiration die per turn on a hit to add a flourish to your attack. all three options deal the inspiration die in extra damage, but a defensive flourish also adds it to your AC, a slashing flourish lets you spin around and hit everyone near you, and a mobile flourish lets you knock a creature back even further than you already could and spend your reaction to follow them.

you also get Expertise in two skills for double proficiency, so boost your Performance and Acrobatics to go full Jet Set Radio on someone’s walls. or Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, if you’re hip.

also, you can Enhance Ability now for advantage on one kind of ability check- Strength also doubles your carrying capacity, while Dexterity prevents you from getting hurt if you wipe out, and Constitution gives you some temporary HP instead to cushion the fall.

8. Bard 4: use your next ASI to bump up your Strength for harder hammer slammers. it’s not complicated, but neither is a big hammer.

slightly more complicated are your new spells- Minor Illusion is a free can of spray paint- it only fills a 5’ cube, but it’s concentration free! that’s nice, since if you want to stay one step ahead of the city guards you might be concentrating on something like Kinetic Jaunt instead. it increases your speed by another 10’, prevents any opportunity attacks, and you can move through people without slowing down- perfect for weaving your way through a crowded room!

9. Bard 5: the fifth level is always huge for bards, since your inspiration grows to a d8, and your Font of Inspiration means you recharge uses on short rests instead of long ones!

you can also learn third level spells like Fast Friends, forcing a wisdom save on a nearby creature that if they fail they’re charmed and have to do what you way. you’re not the kind to abuse this sort of thing, usually just dragging people on sidequests and such, but if you did try to make someone do something bad or dangerous, they’d get another chance at that wisdom save.

10. Bard 6: sixth level bards get some kind of countercharm thing? but who cares we’ve got an Extra Attack now! that’s a second attack every attack action!

you can also Bestow Curses on people now, mostly to give your NP a more personalized feel. if the target fails their wisdom save, they can be cursed in any number of ways (reflavoured to fit overwhelming emotions, of course). with this, you can waste their turns, make them take extra damage, or do all sorts of fun stuff as long as the DM thinks a third level spell slot is worth what you’re asking for.

11. Bard 7: seventh level bards get fourth level spells like Freedom of Movement! this makes you or another creature immune to difficult terrain and effects that slow, restrain, or paralyze you. you can also escape from any non-magical restraints using only five feet of movement! being underwater also won’t slow you down any, which is the closest we get to a swim speed this build.

12. Bard 8: us your last bardic ASI to bump up your Charisma for stronger spells and more flourishes. speaking of spells, you tend to sow Confusion wherever you go, and now you have a spell that does just that. every creature in a 10’ radius of the spell needs to make a wisdom save or they’re confused for up to a minute, making their behavior a little random. they have a 10% chance to walk in a random direction, a 50% chance to do nothing, a 20% chance to hit anyone around them, or a 20% chance to act as normal. your rebellious attitudes are even affecting the enemies now! they don’t want to do what the DM tells them!

13. Bard 9: ninth level bards have a bigger song of rest, but they also get fifth level spells. Synaptic Static is the closest translation you can get of your NP, only missing out on being single-target. you blast a 20’ radius sphere, forcing an intelligence save on everything inside. f they fail, they take psychic damage, and have muddled thoughts for 1 minute or until they make another save, taking a penalty to all attacks, checks, and concentration saves. it’s hard to think when you’ve got every “song of the summer” playing in your skull at once.

14. Bard 10: tenth level bards can use a d10 for their inspiration and flourishes, plus they have another round of Expertise doubling up their Survival and Sleight of Hand checks. you can use a walkie talkie to send Messages to nearby allies, but the last and best magic we’re getting are some Magical Secrets, spells from any class- if we have the slots to cast it, it’s ours for the taking.

first up we’re grabbing Creation for our biggest and best tagging system yet. with this, you can spend a minute to create your own spray cans- you can make a lot of dyes out of berries, and we don’t need these cans to last too long, so you can now run around with real cans of spray paint that last a full day and tag whatever you want. or if your DM is a stickler and requires metal cans, they’ll last an hour. (you could technically just make the paint right on the wall, but then you’re limited to only a 5’ space unless your DM’s cool and accepts the argument that it can be rolled up into a 5’ cube.)

you can also use this to make literally whatever you want, but we’re here for paint.

oh right, we’re also here because of one other magical secret! sometimes, making a character after the story’s out helps you figure out what you want to do with them. sometimes you think you know what you want to do with them already, and then they go off on a random sidequest and whack-a-mole a monster back to its home dimension, and now you have to mess around with your build again just to shove Banishing Smite in there and give them a way to do that!

so yeah. spend your bonus action to cast, hit somebody, deal a bunch of force damage, and then send them back to their homeworld with no save if they’re below 50 HP. no minute grace period for you to drop concentration and send them back, just. gone. if they’re from the plane you’re on, they just disappear for up to a minute or until you lose concentration. still, if you want a Hippoponotamus out of your hair, it’s hard to find a better way to do it.

15. Barbarian 5: it’s been a while, huh? you don’t get another Extra Attack this level, but you do get some Fast Movement for even more movement speed. we haven’t even begun to shred! and yeah, we waited until level 10 to get extra attack instead of just sticking in barbarian one level because otherwise we’d have a dead level in the bard class with just… countercharm to fill it. ugh. if you want extra attack early feel free to move this back to before the bard levels.

16. Barbarian 6: sixth level totem warriors gain an Aspect of the Beast, granting you a boon that works outside of your rage as well. the bear aspect for even more lifting is tempting, but we’re grabbing the Elk aspect instead for faster travel times. gotta keep ahead of the columbuses somehow.

17. Barbarian 7: seventh level barbarians have a Feral Instinct, giving you advantage on initiative rolls, and you can ignore being surprised if you rage! also, as part of raging you can use an Instinctive Pounce to move up to half your speed. skateboards.

18. Barbarian 8: use your last ASI to bump up your Constitution again for more HP and AC. not dying is the best part of D&D! okay maybe not, but it lets you get to the best part of D&D!

19. Barbarian 9: ninth level barbarians get a Brutal Critical- whenever you crit with a melee weapon, you can add an extra die to the damage! never underestimate the power of an extra d10.

20. Barbarian 10: our final level of barbarian comes with another Primal Knowledge, giving you proficiency in Nature, now that you know the truth of Steggy’s origins.

you’re also a Spirit Walker, letting you cast Commune with Nature as a ritual to learn about the area around you, instantly giving you facts about water in the area, the makeup of the plants and animals around, extraplanar forces, and of course buildings, all within a 3 mile radius. it doesn’t really work in towns, but you’ve already got quadrupled travel speed in there, so you can wander a bit.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

you are one speedy zerker, with a walking speed that’s usually as fast as most people’s dash, ways to avoid opportunity attacks, and huge boons to your initiative rolls, it’s very rare that you’re ever in a position you don’t want to be in. on a similar note, your ridiculously quick travel times in cities are also nice, if not a big enough deal to warrant their own section.

if I had known how powerful Banishing Smite can be I’d have put it in a lot more builds. whittle someone down and launch them back to their home plane, no saves required. that would be powerful on anyone, but you have advantage on demand, making it even more ridiculous. even if you’re not fighting extraplanar threats that often, the extra damage and ability to knock someone out of the fight for ten rounds is very nice.

combining your crusher feat with your flourishes lets you shove people around pretty easily, with no saves allowed to stop you. being able to shove someone up to 20’ away while attacking is really fun, especially with your speed making it almost impossible for them to close that gap on their turn.

Cons:

your armor class is just plain bad for a frontline fighter, so you’ll be relying on your mobility more than most barbarians to keep yourself healthy. even rage can’t carry you all the time, after all. an AC of fourteen, plus reckless attacks, make most enemies more likely to hit you than not.

you’re also not great on defense against most spells. the advantage on dexterity saves is nice, but you still only have a +1 to that save, and a -1 to wisdom saves means you’re going to be falling for your own illusions a lot. make sure you don’t paint any tunnel into walls this summer.

casting and rage never mix well, especially in this case. you’d probably want your rage up for most of the fight against something you’re trying to banish, but then you have to spend your bonus action to end your rage early if you want to smite them, opening you up for a lot of damage while you wait a turn before finishing them off. most berserkers aren’t great at defense, but these three issues really put a dent in yours.