#next in i'm a moron lmao

[padmesbox]

i need to go back to my roots: gif the mcu (by that i mean daredevil and maybe moon knight) and star wars (andor, the pt and clone wars) again

[ghosty-schnibibit]

just love that the covid shot i planned my entire day around not only got cancelled last minute but when i tried to reschedule for later in the week i found that apparently that pharmacy just doesn't have any vaccines anymore 🙃

[muletia]

ok this is really long, I'm sorry. so I remembered someone had an idea for the reader in the merformer au to be "rescued" so imagine they're taken from Optimus and their guppy. so they escape from people interested in how they changed to being more mer like from the bonding. and now they're like Odysseus spending the next few years fighting to get back to their wife, optimus. the reader runs into other mers and maybe some of them are interested in them? the reader isn't fully aquatic but has some enhanced strength from the bond changing them so they can actually stand a chance against them bc we know they would get demolished as a full human lol. maybe Megatron is like Poseidon, chasing the reader as they try to avoid him. at first he's going after them bc they mention being close with Optimus and he's like "oh I could kill them or kidnap them to use it against him". then seeing the reader's ferocity, is like "oh damn, I'm keeping them for myself". then starscream is circle, he hears about Megan's interest in the reader and wants to keep his trine safe from the human, so he tries to fight the reader but loses so he goes fuck it, I can take them, just not in a fight and tries to rizz the reader up, but like Ody in There Are Other Ways, they just go "no I can't... ugh I miss my wife, it's been so long since I've seen him and I love him so much ❤️❤️" he's like "ew that's disgusting but ig I'll kinda help since it'll piss off Megatron". so he gives u some vague directions for how to find the og mer island since that's where Optimus was at. back there maybe ratchet is trying to encourage Optimus to leave and bring the guppy to a new pod, since it looks like you won't be coming back and the guppy shouldn't be isolated to this island with a depressed sire. Optimus is super against it and he knows you'll come back to him and your baby. cut back to the reader, what are they up to, uh oh looks like they're being held captive by coral snake naga knockout. he's Calypso, a naga that lost his mate and was stranded on an island after being washed too far out to sea in a storm. he's desperate for attention and becomes obsessively attached to the reader. so after months of barely being able to get a moment alone, they secretly make a raft and pull an Appetite and make a run for it. sorry KO. they finally are within sight of the island and boom, Megs pulls up like sike bitch. so they have a big confrontation and maybe the reader beats him some and gets it across to him that they will never be with him. if he took them they'd fight every second of the way. so he maybe has some respect for this warrior and leaves them to go home. when they're home they have a Would You Fall In Love With Me Again moment where they apologize for being gone for like 5 years maybe? definitely not 20 like the Odyssey, but a good amount of time and I don't think optimus would survive a decade or more lmao. Optimus would ofc forgive them and says he'd always loved them. then they're a happy family. I just think we should have a full spectrum of reader: moron to badass

-💕

Average Tuesday in an x reader land

No, but this is genuinely great! It’s hard for me to add much, since I’m not too familiar with the source material, but I really love the concept of Optimus as your waiting wife hehe

Oh, I can totally imagine how, once you finally return to him, he kisses every single inch of your face and refuses to let go of you for the next few weeks. You’re completely grounded trapped between his torso, your little guppy, and Optimus’s arm

[strwbryien]

｢ ᝰ.ᐟ entry 05: ARE YOU BLUSHING? ⭑.ᐟ ｣

“what's wrong with you, man?” heizou sat beside him and slung an arm around scaramouche’s shoulder. “you messaged me out of nowhere. you good?” he asked.

“tch, it’s nothing serious. i just don’t have anyone to talk to about this, and unfortunately for me, you’re the only one who will understand,” the indigo-haired one scowled.

“it’s about [name], isn’t it?” he smirked. he had a hunch about what scaramouche would talk about, and he was 99.9% sure that it was about [name].

“WHA- HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!” he shouted. caught red-handed, huh? heizou isn’t called the “best detective of teyvat university” for nothing.

“HAH, i knew it! what about her, hmm? did you finally reveal yourself to her?” heizou wiggled his brows.

“as if! i-it’s more about kumi, actually.”

“did you just fucking stutter? what the heck?”

“SHUT UP!”

“me and kumi are having a collab stream,” he muttered.

“what? i didn’t quite get that,” heizou leaned closer to the male.

“i said we’re having a collab stream, moron,” he spat.

“SERIOUSLY?! that’s great, ma— WAIT, ARE YOU BLUSHING RIGHT NOW?!”

“GET OUT OF MY FACE, SHIKANOIN HEIZOU!”

“HAHAHA, YOU REALLY ARE BLUSHING! THIS IS AMAZING!”

“say goodbye to your family and friends because you're not getting out of this dorm alive.”

“SCARA WAIT-”

prev | masterlist | next

synopsis:

IN WHICH—you, although faceless, are a very famous streamer known as KUMI. you were streaming as usual, playing games and interacting with fans. but when you're about to exit the stream, you accidentally pressed the wrong button that led to you opening your cam and showing your whole face to your audience. this wasn't supposed to happen, no ! so you panicked and quickly ended the stream. numerous screenshots circulated on twitter, which broke both the fans and the internet. this reached a certain someone, SCARAMOUCHE, your rival in streaming. when the said boy saw the trending photo, he almost fell off his gaming chair. because—lo and behold! KUMI was actually [name]?! now who is this [name] in his life, if you may ask? she's the girl that scaramouche has been admiring from afar in real life! quite shocking, right? have i told you that he’s also been sending you anonymous love letters? oh well...

notes ᝰ.ᐟ

— i'll explain the 2-play game mechanics in the next update! — and have you guys noticed that i'm totally (not) in love with childe... so i've been including him whenever i can... haha.... — also, 200 followers is insane, I LOVE YOU GUYS SM, THANK YOU!!! 🩷

ꪆৎ taglist

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[eggcats]

Still thinking about this post bc these two morons have taken over my mind.

And I'm just like. Even after the revelation that Alastor thinks Vox is attractive, and even AS Vox is trying to get this idiot oblivious deer to realize he likes him, Alastor doesn't really change how he treats Vox. Like, at all.

The only change is that now part of his mockery is calling him stupid for not realizing that he's the most eligible demon in hell, lmao (he didn’t realize Vox didn't already know, how stupid of him).

He still likes picking fights and actually fighting him for real. (It's Fun and Entertaining - and for him, nothing has changed that would make him stop)

And I'm kind of thinking that THIS, and not everything else, is what makes Vox realize that Alastor ISN'T mocking him about this. He's serious. Because surely if this was an entire plot to make fun of him, Alastor would at least ATTEMPT to woo him properly before he pulls out the rug from under him, right? He wouldn't just continue on with his day as if he didn't just upend Vox's entire afterlife.

Like, maybe after the first conversation, and after Vox powers back on, he's hopeful, but he knows both what he looks like and what ALASTOR'S like, so he kind of just assumes that Alastor has figured out his less than 100% rival feelings towards him and decided to add it to his mockery.

But then he shows up the next day, determined to beat Alastor at his own game (he will PRETEND to be wooed and then throw it back on him when Alastor tries to mock him, it'll surely work! Totally). And Alastor is like, "Why are YOU back here?!" And doesn't even act any different towards Vox than he did the day before the Revelation.

And Vox is like. Oh, fuck. He was serious.

Suddenly, Vox realizes that, rather than the Normal Hell he THOUGHT he lived in (one where Alastor makes fun of his crush on him) he lives in Weird Hell, where now he has to somehow convince Alastor that he just, is attracted to him and NOT that everyone, somehow, is just. In love with him? Or something??? (What the Fuck?)

There are times when he's tired of fighting with Alastor about this, that a part of him wishes he DID live in Normal Hell, because at least he'd know what to do. (It's not like Val doesn't ALSO mock his crush on Alastor, he at least knows how to respond to THAT).

Even when he convinces Alastor to date him (to make everyone (who doesn't exist, by the way) jealous), Alastor still barely treats him any different. He still pokes and teases at Vox, even as he is (seemingly unintentionally) complimenting him.

One time, Alastor is like, "We haven't fought in ages, we should do that the next time we plan an outing!"

Vox, about to lose it because he had just NOW thought he understood what was going on: What the fuck??! I thought we were dating, why do you still want to kill me?!

Alastor: Dear, we've never been trying to kill each other! If we were, one of us would be dead, ha ha! This is entertainment, pure and simple!

(Translation: Alastor is bored and requires enrichment in his enclosure).

And now Vox has to now grapple with the fact that Alastor apparently saw fighting with him as fun, and not, y'know, rivals legitimately trying to kill one another. What.

--

Also, Valentino notices very quickly the sudden change in Vox's demeanor - usually when they fight, Vox doesn't take long before coming to him for forgiveness. Or, the few times he doesn't, Val doesn't have any difficulties changing Vox's mind (and getting Vox to buy him whatever he wants).

So, when Val decides that if Vox is going to stay pissy about his little comment, he'll "apologize" - ("Come on, amorcito, you know you're the only one for me! Those whores mean nothing compared to you!") But Vox, just, doesn't forgive him and go back to his arms. And Valentino is at a loss.

He LOSES it when he finds out Vox has been hanging at that shitty hotel and chasing that radio bastard (again!). He doubles his efforts of letting Vox know there is absolutely No Way Alastor cares for him at all, let alone as much as Valentino does!

And then Vox and Alastor are dating, and Val tries to shoot one (or both) of them. (He also tries to get Vox to leave Alastor for him when he finds them fighting and destroying empty buildings in a part of the pentagram, but it doesn't work because once they're done fighting Alastor is like "Well, that was fun!" And invites Vox to dinner after, lol. The fighting was the date activity for the day for the silly little radio man, and Vox is too confused to question it.)

(Also, ironically, Val being pissed at Alastor dating Vox just validates Alastor's beliefs - because it never occurs to him to Val is mad because keeping Vox hanging off of him made it easier for Val to get whatever he wants).

--

But, slowly, Vox is starting to realize that, despite Alastor INSISTING that he's not into him and is only dating him for the (nonexistent) clout - he does weirdly care in his own way, and somehow, he's a more romantic partner to him than Valentino ever was, even without seeming to even try to be or realizing it.

One time, Alastor notices that Vox not been to the hotel once in the past few days (since this whole thing has started, he's basically been showing up consistently), so he goes to break into Vee tower to see what's up.

"What's up" is Vox overworking himself and not sleeping for days and only consuming energy drinks as he hasn't left his little computer dungeon even once.

So. Alastor just. Kidnaps him. Refuses to listen as Vox is like, yelling that this project needs done, like, yesterday!

Alastor: Dear, are there not two others in your team who could do this?

Vox: Val is fucking useless at this shit, and Velvette doesn't care if it's late!

Alastor: Well, what's the point of them? You should let me eat them for this. Regardless, it's been at least 3 days of this for you, so if they wish for it to be on time, they can do it themselves.

And then Alastor just brings them back to his room and forces Vox to eat a real meal, before picking him up and dumping him on his bed.

(Vox, suddenly wide awake: What the fuck. What the FUCK. Since when were we having sex?!?!)

(They're not. Alastor changes his clothes to pajamas and threatens to eat one of his employees for every minute he's not sleeping for the next 8 hours.)

(Vox wonders what's wrong with him that he considers this to be romantic).

Either way, Vox passes out for at least 10 hours before waking up to 30+ missed calls, 50+ missed texts, and 100+ missed emails, all wondering where he disappeared to and why the project he was working on wasn't finished. Once again, Alastor offers to eat them. Vox refuses to find it charming. (He's lying, he does).

Especially since after this incident, Alastor will break into Vee tower now more often if he thinks Vox hasn't eaten or slept properly.

And then, one day, Vox just realizes that, despite Alastor saying to the contrary, they're definitely, like, dating for real. But Vox can't tell Alastor that, because any time he even implies this, he calls Vox an idiot because he's only dating him for publicity. (Never acknowledging that, like, anything he does for Vox that isn't in the public eye is very clearly not for that, lol)

[fandomsmadness]

TBHX episode 9 rant

Oh it's going to be a proper rant this time. The conspiracy theorist in me is working so much OT that X is going to snap me into oblivion any time now.

This child is so precious LHO how dare you play around with her like this

Hey but because I'm totally normal about this, speaking of X...

...BROSKI WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE??

My previous theory (I don't even remember where I mentioned it earlier) that X is making and breaking the current hero roster is so validated right now. He definitely curated the current (well, what's in the website) top 10 with a purpose. At this point, wouldn't be surprised if he went and seduced Ms. Blazing Fire to create a cheating scandal too. My man complaining about working till midnight while he's busy taking the time to toss a coin to the witch, er, sacred maiden on his way home.

This is also now right before the Yang Cheng arc which means it's confirmed that X was operational by that time (not that most of us had any doubts). My ep 5 hypothesis that Lucky Cyan was just becoming popular before the Lin Ling arc is also now validated. It's also kind of sweet in hindsight that both Shang Chao and Yang Cheng went and got tickets for Cyan's first big performance (must've cost a pretty penny) for Xia Qing's sake.

I need to start one of those red-string-connected-mystery-boards.

The next big thing (for me): Trust Value, as always. It was confusing to see Cyan's go down to zero after she mentioned last ep that it's been high since she was small. Running theory (still) is that she's the child of a hero couple, she had trust value because of that which disappeared since it was never publicized that she survived the plane crash and thus people believed her dead. She didn't notice, because by that time it had already been replaced with the Sacred Maiden trust value instead.

I was wondering how she would get it back up after losing her lucky powers as a performer. Coins for good singing don't equate to trust value, after all.

On a somewhat related sidenote, hero agencies are really just PR firms for heroes. I'm not sure if I should be thanking Liu Zhen for bringing her to DOS's attention (but you seemed surprised they wanted to sign her on, why bring her up in the first place?).

But on the note of thanking people, I suppose I should thank these morons for bringing up her past and cultivating trust value, but really I was far too busy being thoroughly annoyed instead. Like fuck off and leave the poor girl alone! Ugh.

This shot is my favourite from the whole episode (which is saying a lot, I loved the animation and art style this entire ep) because you can see how people are just squinting at and recording the worshippers lmao.

But seriously, stop forcing your beliefs onto innocent children.

Oh but speaking of forcing your ideals on children...

Alright bro, spill the tea. Who were you, what did you do, why do your powers look so similar to the X hero couple's fire powers? HOW did it go from this to The Little MermaidTM? WHERE did the zombie powers come from?

WHAT is up with you and Bad Luck Calamity?

You give Luo a guitar that has weird effects. Why? You also abandon your own Sacred Maiden in favour of tussling with Luo in the escape scene. I'd almost be convinced that you wanted to separate the two more than you wanted to stop Cyan from getting away. Did you want to keep him around as leverage to force Cyan back when you wanted to? Is the guitar bugged? Are you torturing Luo for him to be bandaged in a locked up room two years after the escape? Too many questions gah. AND WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL THE GUY AT THE END?

Running theory: Luo's family was in the same plane that crashed, and you just blamed Cyan for his entire family being wiped out, becoming an orphan, and being branded bad luck.

Are there any other explanations because I would kill to know. Like there's no way this is a coincidence.

But going back to the escape scene, the whole thing is weird. Firstly (and this is just funny) how does wind blowing close the gate against the wind?? What was the animation physics department (is that a thing?) thinking?

Secondly why is the guitar this important, to the scene and to the ep? This is, mind you, the Guitar with Effects. I am suspicious. Very suspicious.

Thirdly what was up with that truck driver? Who's compelling him? His eyes were purple, but it's unlikely the Dean would disrupt his own intervention (unless he wants to act like the bad guy to drive Cyan away with the guitar, for whatever reason?) Do we know a hero/villain with hypnotic powers? I'm drawing blanks.

The only other possibility is that this was Luo, which would make sense, although we have to admit that was a surprising amount of good luck for a supposed bad luck person. This would also bolster the popular theory that Zombie Mode is Luo's powers going out of control because hey, that's also purple.

Just hoping the shared purple doesn't mean anything-

My conspiracy theorist brain hurts now.

Lastly, the art sequences in this episode and the colours were so beautiful (fitting for Lucky Cyan's moniker I suppose) I simply must ogle them.

Just stunning. Also is that song out yet, because I haven't been able to hunt it down.

Now that we've caught up to the YC arc in terms of timeline, I wonder what next week's ep will bring. Fresh trauma, no doubt.

[badgalsasuke]

What are your thoughts on this sns-critical post?

https://www.tumblr.com/writingwhilequeer/672650382032437249/i-wish-i-saw-more-either-anti-naruto-or-critical

Hey anon!

Oh great, another moronic Sasuke stan with an extremely surface level understanding of Naruto's character that unsurprisingly doesn't quite understand Sasuke either lol at this point I'm so bored of their "arguments" on how Naruto is this terrible, selfish, obsessive narcissist forcing himself on Sasuke.

Anyway, let's go by bits

SJSJHSJKKHSH and I'm supposed to take this person seriously?

"I don't like what Kishimoto wrote because it doesn't add up to my completely made up idea of who this character is so I'll just ignore it" woah you could've just said you have no reading comprehension skills, same thing.

This argument that Sasuke never liked Naruto is so stupid because hello??? have you been reading the manga with the rest of us?

Sasuke's very first appearance is in the manga on the very first chapter before we even learn his name or who he is, is him looking at Naruto but Sasuke saying in ch. 698 he's always been looking at Naruto is out of character? please don't make me laugh, I can't take those wild claims seriously

We see the boys training just the two of them together all night, we see Sasuke leave dinner to check on Naruto, we see Sasuke blushing simply because he's walking next to Naruto, we see Sasuke defend Naruto from Sakura's nasty comments, we see Sasuke saying with his own mouth his body moves on his own to protect Naruto, mind you this is just what happens in the Land of the Waves arc, but ch. 698 is shitty flashbacks that we're now supposed to believe? what a moron

The whole land of the waves arc is basically stating that Naruto is Sasuke's precious person he wants to protect. That person is saying "Sasuke is PURE metaphor, you really have to pay attention to him to see what his deal is" but somehow missed the entirety of the first arc of the manga? You see how Sasuke stans who pride themselves as the smarter bunch of the fandom are actually incredibly stupid?

And this is just the first arc of the manga. Many other blogs have already written about how even after Sasuke left Konoha he still cared for Naruto to the point they call him a fake IDGAFER lol [LINK]

But let's keep going

Another sad case of a Sasuke stan projecting their politics onto Sasuke and expecting something Kishimoto never promised. Like okay, just rambling here.

Yeah, Naruto wants to be acknowledged by Sasuke, that's never been a question, he literally states it waaaaay earlier in the manga because that's the theme of the fucking manga omfgggg.

Now this stan is either being dishonest and obtuse on purpose or is just straight up a dumbass. Sakura and Naruto's pursuit of Sasuke is not the same, and the fact that they cannot recognize how Kishimoto is contrasting the connection both have with Sasuke is just baffling. It's not an accident, Kishimoto wants us, the readers, to compare Sakura and Naruto's feelings for Sasuke and see how shallow and superficial Sakura's are compared to Naruto's unconditional and authentic love for Sasuke, hence why Sasuke reacts so differently to both of them (even if it pisses off this stan that Sasuke is receptive of Naruto's actions and words lmao).

Sakura doesn't understand Sasuke because she doesn't want to, she just wants a perfect boyfriend and wants that boyfriend to be the boy all the other girls in class had a crush on because that'd make her look better.

Naruto, on the other hand, understands Sasuke, they're both orphaned outcasts of society, Naruto eventually loses people he loves that allows him to understand the pain Sasuke went through, he even calls out Itachi on his bullshit for all the pain he put Sasuke through but yeah he's this selfish, obsessive asshole...

Yeah, the reason why those headcanons this person made up in their mind don't happen in the manga is because they're that, headcanons. Their idea of who Sasuke is as a character is completely different from canon Sasuke and instead of accepting they just want to play dolls with Sasuke because idk I guess they find him cool? They're antagonizing Naruto, Kishimoto and the fandom, like baby just accept that the shit you made up isn't real instead of claiming ch. 698 is an OoC writing of Sasuke and Naruto is aCtUaLly the real villain lmao.

Also, I wonder what this person thinks the themes of the manga are to think that if the complete opposite had happened it would be better??????? If Kishimoto is writing a manga where the main theme is acknowledgement, how the fuck is Sasuke not acknowledging Naruto embodying the themes better? like what??? This person thinks they're analyzing Naruto (both the character and the manga) but they're straight up writing a fanfic here.

"This story would be better if the author had written the complete opposite because that's what I wanted" <- This is the laziest literary criticism you could give and THANK GOD naruto fans don't write the manga.

Sasuke stans are really mad Naruto didn't want to see Sasuke leave Konoha to go to a GROOMER and then become a renegade that was SENTENCED TO DIE for committing several crimes (that he begged Sasuke would be forgiven for) and was basically SELF-HARMING with the whole "I need to kill those who I love so I can succumb to darkness". Like woah, Naruto you're such a prick. Sasuke stans just heard Sasuke say "Revolution!" and kinda forgot (or deliberately ignore) that he's actually in his most self-destructive state and is Naruto who helps him get out of that.

The thing is Naruto's not selfish so no one can give you a serious analysis that depicts him as such. He's just another orphaned traumatized boy who is trying to save his friend from darkness, there's nothing selfish about that. Of course sometimes Naruto didn't always have the perfect tools to aid Sasuke, he even acknowledged this himself (like the Kage Summit arc is right there), but that's because he's just 12-17 years old. Sasuke himself didn't handle the best way his own trauma either but that is okay too. These two boys are young, naturally they'll be emotianlly immature but on top of that fictional characters don't have to (and should not) be perfect, that'd be pretty boring.

Also, notice how this person said that Sasuke was assimilated and brainwashed into serving Konoha but didn't give Naruto the same grace even though he went through the same because then their headcanon of Naruto being this absolute asshole wouldn't work anymore, hilariously pathetic honestly.

Anyway, that was one of the most mediocre analysis I've ever read

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Hi! I saw your recent post about how Jason is perceived being from opposite world. (lovely meta commentary, btw) You mentioned that the other bats will joke about his death to his face. I was wondering if you happened to have examples? Or if it's easier, where to find examples. If not, no worries! Thanks!

I was afraid of this lmao xD cause like I know they're there, I can picture the panels in my head, but there is not a search engine on earth I could type "That one panel that's mostly blue that made me think 'holy shit that's just fucking MEAN'" into that would give me anything useful!

Let me go digging for a little bit though, I think I can find at least a few of them. In general it happens during the scenes where all of the Bats have been gathered together and are quip-ing at each other, and thus mostly in the Flashpoint onwards eras

To be clear, it's not like they're doing high school mean girls comedy routines here, more it's a pattern of Jason saying something and the snappy haha come-back being some version of "oh yeah? well you're the failure who died, moron, so who cares what you think?"

Batcat marriage reveal in Batman (2016) #33

Quick aside: we, the readers, can choose to assume Duke probably only knows about him stealing the Batmobile's tires in the vaguest outlines, but there's so many layers of fucked up classism lurking in that insult anyways...

Robin War #1

It should be noted that Jason doesn't say anything in his defense more than that 'Hey--'. Tim gets to shove back, Jason just has to take the L and move on.

Task Force Z #8

This one is by far the least nasty, frankly I'm chalking that up to Rosenberg just being a good writer. Like the man can write out a conflict that feels natural and like they do care about Jason while still feeling they need to fight him and are extremely pissed off with him right now. Also I'm including it cause it's great and I love Task Force Z and it almost feels like a call back to the Robin War insult??

Now, am I saying that the other Bats cruelly bringing up Jason's death purely to insult him is bad writing? Am I implying that there ought to be far better ways of showing Jason's backstory and his tension with the other Bats to new viewers than to have needlessly antagonistic conversations that go fucking no where?

Well I am definitely saying that the next example comes from Battle for the Cowl and you can just make of that what you will!

The demerits of BftC aside, I do love Timmy thwacking him with a crowbar - it's so... Extra

There's also an exchange in whatever the heck comic the Batburger 'no one goes after Bane but me' conversation happens in, but that one Jason does kinda bring up himself and it seems a lot more amicable than the rest and also I'm out of time for comic related pursuits for the night so these will have to do!

Bonus aside: I found the cute panel of Jason calling Damian 'Little man' as a nickname in issue #2 of DC vs Vampires, I wasn't sure if I'd been making that one up

[kristlewrites]

“Lucid Dream”

CW: cheating(?),semi-public sex (elevator),smut, oral(f!receiving),nicknames (baby,mamas,ma), unprotected sex.

PAIRING: Ex!Zoro x Blk!FemReader

WC: 1.8k

🫧🗯️: Didn’t expect so many people to actually vote lmao..😭😭, but ty to all those who have!! This is made just for you guys. First of all it wasnt supposed to last a week, but as soon as I saw zoro taking the lead I had to write this. So ill make another one based off whose in second place!! lmk if i missed anything for the content warning!!

MINORS DNI

(rêve!!)

You pick up your phone, it's ten pm.. It's been over an hour since you arrived. You spent even longer getting ready. Wrapped in a beautiful emerald dress with gold accessories to match you felt amazing, but that feeling quickly went away once you realized your date wasn't coming. Picking up your phone you see his message. 

"Sorry, I can't make it…maybe next time?” 

Maybe next time my ass! You cannot believe this. You slam your phone onto the table and leave, storming off in the direction of the exit. Wiping away your tears as they stream down your face and hurrying down the restaurant stairs. Making your way out you step into the cold Atlanta night. Using one hand to warm up your bare shoulders you use your other to grab your phone to call an Uber...except that it wasn't in your purse. 

Dammit! You had left it on the table. Practically out of breath from the stairs you pick up your pace gearing towards your table. But when you finally reach your table you are met with someone you'd rather not see again. Especially tonight out of all nights!

Pulling out a chair for a blonde??! You see his gorgeous mint hair first.

“Fuck!” you whisper-shout making sure he doesn't hear. You quickly snatch your phone as fast as you can, apparently too fast because now the glass of water has fallen onto the mint's lap. “Oh my god..” you gasp, You cannot believe your luck.

The man looks up in response to your voice, recognizing it almost instantly. You guys make eye contact for about a solid second, but that was enough to make you fold. You ran away, breaking for the elevator, you wanted to get away from all of this. The blonde shouting in the background for spare napkins. You cannot believe you just saw your ex, at a restaurant out of place. Not only that but with someone else!!! It's been only three months since you broke up with him.

Now you were really crying, you walked into the elevator and pressed some random ass buttons, you just wanted to be home. To dazed in your own world you didn't even realize Zoro being right next to you in the elevator, he pushes the first button which you had already pressed undoing the action. “It was already going down…” you whisper and go back to press the first floor button. 

“Well, I didn't mean to press that one. I was gonna do the third floor” He hits the third floor button, not even a second later he presses the first floor again! 

“You are so..” You seethe. This nigga cannot be serious at all. Just when you are about to hit the first floor button, the elevator rocks.”Fuck..what the actual fuck.” You are absolutely losing it, no way this is happening to you. You start spamming the panic button, yelping for help hoping someone would hear. 

“Relax, someone is probably already on their way.” Zoro sitting down already making himself comfortable.

“Relax..?1!! Nigga are you fucking insane? I feel like I'm boutta explode.” You pace around the room thinking of possible solutions.

Zoro grabs your ankle and halts you in place, “Stop moving around, you're gonna make us more stuck. Just try and sit down” 

“You moron that's not how it works..” You kick his hand from your ankle cause who does he think he is? He removes his jacket, and places it down underneath you, he pats the jacket a couple times gesturing for you to sit down. Hesitantly you go down and sit down with your legs in a 45 degree angle (?) (idk it's hard to explain, but like that sit you do when you're on the floor and you dont want yo panties showing.)

“Who was she?” you ask, staring dead at your phone, no service on your phone either.

You hear a small chuckle and immediately regret everything.

“Why are you here?” He asks looking you up and down, you know you look good and damn he knows it too. Green is his color and to see you look pull it off better than him makes him proud a lil bit.

“I asked the question first.” You utter and stand right back up, only for him to drag you down. “What is wrong witchu!” 

“Her name is Dahlia, Sanji he had us go on a blind date, I had only met her like two hours ago”  Zoro had finally admitted, rubbing his forehead. You laughed a lil, just the idea of sanji going through all that trouble. His face nearly illuminated when he heard you laugh, it's been almost three months since he last saw you let alone heard you laugh like that.

You check the time, it's been twenty minutes already and there's been no sign of help. How is this possible if the restaurant still should be opened? How have they not been able to get any help?? By this time you and Zoro were about an inch apart, he was glaring at you not in a mean way but in a possessive way. You guys were just staring at each other not saying a word.

Within a split second Zoro had quite literally grabbed you and plopped you down right onto his lap, still damp from the water, and kissed you. You almost instantaneously returned the kiss. It was absolutely exhilarating, you've missed him so much. Tongues were clashing teeth clanging it was messy but you loved every second of it. You pushed away, trying to catch yo breath. 

“What about your date..?” you were panting so hard and out of breath. 

“Man fuck Daffodil” he said, reaching his fingers to your cheeks “Ive missed you so much baby” Caressing your soft skin

“I've missed you too” You were definitely gonna regret this the next day, but with his stunning face and practically hypnotizing smile it was hard to go against anything he was doing.

He begins to remove your sleeves, bringing down your dress revealing your cutie pink lace bra. Your hands react quickly and cover your boobs,

 “Awe baby don't be shy” he pouts a little and undoes your bra tossing it next to him. He immediately latches onto your brown nipples sucking and licking them like a starved baby. You start grinding against his crotch becoming impatient. Sure you've had a few one night stands after you guys broke up, but quite clearly none of them met up to the bar that zoro had established long ago.

“Seems like you’ve really missed me heheh ” He laughs a bit at your desperate grinding. You were too focused on reaching your high to even feel embarrassed. Zoro noticed this, the increasing moisture from your underwear “woah, not without me mamas.” 

He moves his coat and places it behind you, with ease he sets you down on your back with your wet panties facing him. He tears off your underwear so aggressively it’s for sure torn, He rubs his hands together and licks his lips before diving into your cunt.

“Ah” you exclaimed, it was all so sudden you didn’t have a chance to even think about it.

“Ma, I’ve missed hearing your voice so much” zoro groaned, but you couldn’t hear him with all the squelching from him absolutely raving in your pussy. He was going up and down on every corner, letting his tongue fly in n out your pussy. Your thighs started closing in on him

“I-i'm cummin’” you moan out loud grabbing on to his short minty hair, letting your orgasm flow out with zoro still licking it up

 “so sweet, can't get enough”, he pants while still lapping at your drenched pussy. Your legs Leg’s jittering, heart racing, you haven’t felt this way in months. Retracting his head from your now damaged cunt, he licks up all remaining cum from his lips. He lowers his pants and boxers, to reveal his pulsating cock leaking with pre-cum already. “You still on the pill?“ he asks, with his tip already teasing your entrance. You nod, too dazed to even speak. With no second to waste his dick already making it way into your pussy, you hiccup at the suddenness. “That’s right mama, take me nice n slow” he mutters, going in at lagging pace. 

“Fast, go faster” you say airily as you squeeze your pussy wanting more. He obeys and picks up pace with your fat cunt enveloping his dick so well, the sound of his balls slapping your ass and the subtle moans escaping your mouth fill up the air as both of you guys are now short winded you can feel his dick reach up every inch of your vagina.”Z-zoro, I’m gonna c-cum!” You scream, whilst creaming all over his dick. Hearing his name come out of his mouth was enough to send over the edge and fills you to the brim with his warm cum. Breathing hard he removes he cock from your pussy and marvels as, his cum flows out of your pussy.

Banging from the outside, got you straight up. “We’re gonna get you out of there, helps coming give us five minutes!” A man shouts.

Zoro helps you dress back up, because your whole body is aching. Even with the jacket the floor was still pretty rough. He helps gather up the piece of your underwear keeping one of them ‘for a souvenir’ he explains to you, you roll your eyes too tired to even argue. Meanwhile zoro buckles up his pants and tries his best to clean up any leftover cum on the floor, while you sit down by the door damn near immobilized.  

The doors finally open up, and the cacophony of fire trucks and power tools was already enough to send you into a spiral. Trying to stand up you’re a lil wobbly, zoro grabs your hand aiding you out. The whole staff is outside all lined up cheering for your rescue. “How long has it been?” you ask clearly, you are absolutely exhausted. 

“Forty minutes” zoro responds. He lends you his jacket once you get outside. “Where’s your ride?”

“I don’t have one, I’ll just get an Uber.” You answer fishing for your phone in your purse.

“Here, I’ll take you home” zoro says, walking towards his car acting all nonchalant..

‘Who does this nigga think he is?’ you think to yourself while trying to keep up with him. “how are you gonna offer me a ride then leave me chasing you..goodnight you know i can’t even walk properly.” You shout, the audacity is crazy.You can practically hear his eyes rolling when he stopped in the middle of the road turning around towards at a concerning pace. He grabs your waist and hangs you over his shoulder, flailing your feet and hands “Let me go nigga!”

“Weren’t you jus complaining…right, stop moving before I really leave you” he replies in an irritated voice.

regardless of his warning you continue to flail around, jus for the fun of it hitting his ass and laughing. zoro continues to walk, you can’t see his face but he smiles a lil at the sound of your laughter. He wishes that this would last forever.

(Thank you all for the support on my first fic!!)

[childotkw]

okay but imagine the grindelwald! harry au mixed with that ybtm(ibty) au where it's actually harry that goes to nathan's world. i would assume that dumbledore wouldn't allow those rumors to spread if harry came to him first, but if harry had built up a reputation beforehand... it's technically not allowed/ taboo to discuss the rumor (not like the school can place a ban on it), but the whole student body knows it by the time harry is there and assisting dumbledore. dumbledore can't even claim harry as his son or relative at this point because it would just end in even more disaster. harry is super adverse to the rumor but his refusal just kinda stokes the flames higher and at this point even grindelwald is aware that his supposed son is hanging out with dumbledore at hogwarts. and wouldn't that be rejection of the highest order again? or perhaps he wouldn't really even believe the rumor but that power that harry effortlessly wields, that's something to see. i feel like nathan would believe harry when he said that he wasn't grindelwald's son, but orion would do the real plotting when he connects nathan's attackers to grindelwald, like, the amount of drama orion lives for is RIGHT THERE orion would prob be disappointed when he doesn't see results tho lol, but he has plenty of other entertainment. like harry and his everything. and tom too, but he sees tom more than harry, and tom likes to hide everything, so. anyways this idea has consumed me so i'm sorry about the word vomit lmao your aus are very plot-bunny inducing

A spin off of Dark Side of the Moon where Harry side-stepped Dumbledore and Hogwarts completely, and became some vigilante-esque figure in the Wizarding underworld because his saving people thing was alive and well even if he's a grumpy boy.

His actions - stepping in and defending others regardless of status or species, breaking up the more destructive and illegal rings in Knockturn and making things a little safer for those living there, dodging the aurors with all the skill of a career criminal, etc. - drew attention.

Because of course they did.

And people loved to gossip about him.

Because of course they did.

Harry was focussed on trying to get home (he has yet to chat with Death), and unintentionally kicked off some of those rumours himself. Rumours that, for some reason, had people thinking he was Grindelwald’s son?

(It was absolutely because of the Deathly Hallows tattoo on his hip - don’t ask how it got there, don’t ask how the group of hags spotted it, Harry purged that memory from his brain, it did not happen).

Anyway.

Harry was strolling around Knockturn on Halloween and stepped in to chase off the men attacking Nathan, safely whisked the boy back to his family and let them know that Grindelwald’s men were on the prowl. Benedict took that warning seriously, and Cynthia proposed Harry stop by one afternoon for tea as a thank you.

And one gossipy vampire who witnessed Harry curb-stomp Grindelwald’s men spread the word that the Dark Lord’s apparent son was ‘on the outs’ with his father because why else would he attack a group of Acolytes unless there was trouble in paradise?

Long, long story short - Harry eventually ended up at Hogwarts as some weird teacher assistant / in protective custody / a God (people are too scared to ask at this point). He just chilled in the school, occasionally disappearing without a word to dismantle an illegal poaching organisation or bulldoze through some of Grindelwald’s men.

It was only after a few months that Harry even heard the rumour that people think he’s Grindelwald’s disgruntled, long-lost son. He tried denying it at first but by this point the rumour is so pervasive and wide-spread that he couldn’t change it. So Harry just rolled with it.

“Why yes, I am Gellert’s son. Yes, I think his political agenda is stupid. No, he’s not all powerful, he’s actually a moron and I’m going to break his nose when I next see him.”

People are lowkey terrified. Nathan has his pseudo-older brother who is training him to be a badass. Orion is frothing at the mouth and Tom is vibrating at a frequency that could propel himself into the sun.

Gellert just wants to know why anyone would look at him and think he’d ever sleep with a woman. Then he claims the magically-powerful-possible-god-man-thing as his son because why not?

[masoqueen-official]

ART UPDATE! 4/7 ◈4/14/25◈

Mostly splatoon + other doods + cupcakes!

And so the streak being over 3 continued... I was so happy and was halfway to that badge. But NO- I JUST HAD TO PLAY A DIFFERENT MODE RAHHHH

and fuck gold, that is some Japanese player, my dad playing until 3am, type shit.

The rest are quite frankly pathetic point tallys and some more strategy notes.

Fits for modes that have been working for me when grinding!

More doods.

Watch as my art progressively gets worse!

If you know, you know. I'M LOOKING AT YOU @recklessbucket COUGH please ignore my tag GTeafwgTRfwf seriously though I'm sorry lmao. We were at Arby's and there was like... chEEse sAuCe??? I DON'T KNOW MAN-

What a weirdo- LET ME COPE MAN / In case you were wondering, it was the dismemberment song pffffff... so glad I get to wear headphones though! / Some notes for those belt loop things.... ringlets! Those!

A celebratory milestone for both games! These have been held off for a few years now, especially since we stopped playing Overwatch because my dad got obsessed with COD, and I got obsessed with Splatoon 3 instead (I know, lame). But... since I reached LV 100 in SPLT3, (that's higher than what I had in 2... but tbf, I got 2 not long after the final fest sooo-) I got super determined to make these with my dad. A little too determined in retrospect but I'm not gonna talk about that... He DID get me overwatch for my switch a few years back too but it just wasn't the same, especially since my OCD could not handle loosing that much progress and skins, so my cousin mostly played it instead... anyway! I LOVE how they turned out, even without fondant. Note to self though: Put tape on the back too next time ya' fuckin' moron.

[cbk1000]

In your opinion, which is the best sex scene you've written? You decide the criteria. Don't be humble about it.

Honestly, I've written so many sex scenes it's hard (buh dumb chh) to remember them all, let alone try and decide which I think is the best of them.

But the one that comes first to my mind as I'm mentally flipping back through them and trying to judge what most stands out (in a good way) is the first sex scene in the train fic. If I reread all my sex scenes and lined them up next to one another to directly compare them I might pick something else, but I'm going with that one because of the intimacy of them being in that small, dark space, the tension that space conveys (especially as they're morons who are doing this the first night of a week-long holiday), and Merlin getting increasingly more turned on but fully intending to make it all about Arthur having a really good sexual experience with no expectation of reciprocation from him. I think the stupidity and the eroticism really worked together nicely there. Lmao

[idv-sweethearts]

Hellohello! The luchino fan back again LMAO, I loved your other writing it was so good! I'm back again for more if you have the time, could you write about luchino comforting reader after a bad match? I usually feel shitty after messing up a match and wanna see how my fav would comfort me, if it's not too much thank you!

Luchino (Professor) Helping Reader Through Aftermath of Bad Matches ☕️

Notes: EHEHE. I HAVE A RECURRING ANON. EHEHEHEHEHEHE. YIPPEE. Also, I decided to go with a story format for this one, which is why the title's more creative. I also apologize if this is short.

You'd made a few silly mistakes and hoped like hell that would be the end of it. You hoped that maybe your team could recover and perhaps even achieve a win or a tie, though you knew the moment you were placed on that godforsaken chair for the final time that whatever victory your team achieved, you certainly wouldn't have contributed a damn thing to it.

And to hurt your pride even further, like it was all some kind of sick joke that some unknown deity of probability was playing on you specifically, it soon became as clear as day while you spectated that not one Survivor was going to make it out of that match. Was it your fault? At a certain point, they should be able to get the game back on track, right? But they'd have had a much easier time if you hadn't messed everything up like a complete and utter moron.

Now that you've gone and made yourself look like a fool, a failure, and a god damned mess, you've decided to spend the rest of the day in your room. By yourself. With no-one around to see how insanely stupid you are. Maybe if you read a book or something, you'd get smart enough to not make such dumb decisions! Maybe! Who knows! But whatever you choose to do with your time in here, you're sure as hell not about to out there so you can hear all the things they're going to say about you. You just can't bear to face them right now.

So, your room is where you've been for the past few hours. On one hand, you haven't been busy since that pathetic match. But on the other, that match being your last for the day means you'll have no chance to redeem yourself until tomorrow.

You swear that next time, you won't let those pitiful Hunters taste even a single victory if you can help it. You won't let them strike even a single one of your allies. They'd have to get through you first. But how could you even be that good? Wasn't your little display today proof enough that you can't do a single thing right? You have to get better. You have to do better. You have to-

There is a soft knock at the door, startling you and returning you to reality. You're in your room. Aside from the knock at your door a few seconds ago, it's dead silent and it has been for a while. Maybe, if you breathe quietly enough and don't answer the door, whoever it is will leave you be.

What could they even be here for? To mock you? To ridicule you for your poor performance today? Why would someone even go out of their way to do that? How sickening. You won't allow them even the chance.

You hear a second, slightly louder knock at the door, followed by a voice you know you'd never hear mock you. Not in a million years, no matter what he'd ever become, reptilian or even further into the future than that.

"[Y/N]? I know you are in there. You have not left your room since your most recent match, a match your team unfortunately lost. I have reason to express concern."

You let the voice and words of the professor sit in your mind for a moment before finally opening the door a bit. You trusted him to see you upset. You two were quite fond of eachother. Quite romantically attached, despite everything. After all, facing the incomprehensible is much easier when you aren't alone.

"Ah, [Y/N]. Are you alright? You seem... Unwell."

Your expression shifts into something more content and you silently open the door further and step out of the way, indicating an invitation into your room. After closing the door, you finally confirm your reasons for being so upset, while Luchino nods attentively, waiting patiently for you to finish your explanation.

He sits down, gestures for you to do the same, clears his throat, and politely offers his hand to place yours in. Almost hesitantly due to your mood, you place your hand in his.

He's naturally not the most skilled when it comes to social interactions, but he's more than capable of using his intelligence and observations to get him through most conversations. However, he's more nervous than he normally would be right now because the quality of his lover's evening is on the line. One could tell by how hesitant he is to even speak.

"Failure is... Necessary, I believe."

Wow. What a strong start.

"Through imperfections, one can learn and improve to a degree to a degree where they become almost unrecognizable. Do you think you are the same person you were when you first started? You are not and neither am I."

You'd always be the first to hear of all of the things he had to say, his failures and his accomplishments alike. Just as long as no messes were made, he'd always been happy to let you witness every little thing he'd ever discovered, no matter how beautiful and no matter how objectively disgusting. He was proud of every bit of it.

"You've come far, you'll always continue to progress, and it is not your fault that another happened to perform more skillfully. I fail too, at times. Disgracefully, in fact. I think everyone fails sometimes, just as everyone should. If everything and everyone were perfect from birth, there would be no need for change or variety, and there be would be no catharsis from overcoming challenges, because there would be no challenges to overcome. What do you think of that idea?"

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

It's been 84 years 😭😭

I've forgotten which episode I'm on 😢

***

LMAO, him putting his smelly sock to her face to check if she's really asleep 🤣🤣

How women deal with gross, smelly husbands in their beds, I will never know, but smelly or not, I'm 100% on his side here. Poor baby, he kept waiting for her to do something, anything, and she went straight to bed and fell asleep! Logically, I know she was never going to lift a finger to stop him from sleeping with that other woman and that if he had done so, he would have lost all possibility of ever winning her romantic affection for the rest of their lives. Win or lose, the very act of having to fight over him would have been a defeat for her. He is fighting on a battlefield he cannot see and is set up to lose on all fronts. But here his, against all odds, emerging with the moral high ground.

***

LOL, she's awake after all 🤣🤣

Test or no test, I was wondering how she could sleep. Even knowing, even fully prepared, even resigned, I would still not sleep for a week. Once it happened, there would be no coming back and I'd never trust or love him again, but while it was happening, I would not be able to pretend that everything was normal.

***

That's right, snuggle your wife 🤗

***

LOL, at least she has a plan to drive her away 😅

***

MY GUY, SHE'S NOT JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU PASSED THE TEST! 🎉🎉🎊🎊🎉🎉

YOU GET TO STAY MARRIED WITH HER STILL LOVING YOU!

***

Oh, Minglan, take your victories and stop now 😢

***

LMAO, yes, Minglan, stop letting evildoers add firewood to the fire!

Next time a garbage aunt comes by to stir up shit in your marriage, gouge her eyes out.

***

LMAOOOO, from the looks on their faces, I'm guessing this second wife was not invited 😅

Anyway, here for a scandal that, for once, does not involve Minglan.

***

Oof, that will end well 😅

As usual, no sympathy for men who take in concubines. I hope the main wife eats them both.

***

Yes, give them hell 🤬

The aduacity, I swear.

***

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD 🤯🤯

She is not very bright, is she? If I was the main wife, I would skin her alive when we got back home.

***

LMAOOOOO, I am living for Gu Tingye's WTF face 🤣🤣

***

Poor Hualan, she has to parent her dumbass mother who is about to step into a huge pile of 💩 at any moment now.

***

Oh, this shit-stirring idiot showed up too, smh.

***

OH MY GOD.

WHY IS YOUR SHIT MARRIAGE TO YOUR SHIT HUSBAND MINGLAN'S PROBLEM? LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE ALREADY.

***

LMFAO, Minglan is entertaining none of this nonsense 🤣🤣

The way she suddenly asserted herself as an ~elder~ and she is, what? Eighteen years old at best? 🤣🤣

***

Minlgan, murder her and bury her stinky corpse under a rosebush in your backyard.

What a goddamn bitch for no good reason.

Trust me, Minglan is not the reason your worthless husband can't get it up for you.

***

DIDN'T YOU START IT?

If it were me, I would have kicked you and your garbage husband out on your ass. But Minglan has more grace and patience than I ever will, so she is kindly trying to set you straight, you fucking moron.

Ugh, she and Qi Heng deserve each other 🤬

***

AGAIN, YOUR SHITTY MARRIAGE IS NOT MINGLAN'S FUCKING PROBLEM.

She is so done with Qi Heng's shitty ass and she doesn't even know you, leave her the fuck alone!

***

You are also an idiot.

And here I was, feeling sorry for you.

***

The way this crusty wank sock came running, smh.

He will pass up zero opportunities to take a gigantic dump on her entire life. I hate him so much.

***

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S02E03 - Blind Justice

Somehow longer than the previous one. It's because of the dumbassery.

That one is... something. For starters, it is the first indication that Charlie will fall prey to manipulation by a romantic interest. Which was why I wasn't that surprised when Eva tried to play him and it worked.

The shelter! And Alan Doyle is here! Why did they never get him to sing us something smh

You don't say. I think Hudson and Rex should end with Charlie adopting a second dog, this time along with Sarah. No, Rex won't die. That dog is immortal, it's actually canon because 10 seasons of German show cases + 8 seasons of Italian show cases = way too many years for a dog to be alive. And Rex would actually be the one to have the final say in the choice of the dog.

Puppy love.

That shot that goes from Rex's paws down the floorboards ending up in the dust that he sniffed out is so cool. Felipe Rodriguez is probably my favorite director in this show.

Charlie: "I think we all know what [the powder] is gonna be". Cue to Joe in the next scene: "Truffles". lmao

More foot-in-mouth as Charlie says (in front of the entire Major Crimes, I might add) his opinion about Leah. Not a good look, by the way. For me, after that exchange it would make more sense if those two had some history aside from, "I know her from the academy". Also, you two were in the academy together? Yeah, right. Sidenote: I recently saw the actress who plays Leah in a few FBI episodes. Did not recognize her at all, as she had short blonde hair. Jarring.

I knew Leah was bad from the start, by the way. In a roundabout way, Charlie wasn't wrong to initially distrust her, he just never had a good reason. She got his gut sidetracked with her "feminine wiles" lol

Charlie actually exhibits some very moronic and insecure behavior in this episode. He is written as a lone wolf who doesn't work well with others, while we know that's not the case because later he will work fine with other officers and agents. In any case, he has not tried to directly antagonize any of them without reason but he does in this episode. The way they talk with Leah does suggest that they have more of a history together but it's not explained anywhere. And then he's like "who thinks me and Rex should go talk to Biggs without you" and he and Rex raise hands/paws and they actually go! So childish.

No, you are, doofus.

Oh thank god. Sarah, save him. Save your himbo future boyfriend.

Jesse: "Keyzer Soze". I'm glad I actually watched this movie (The Usual Suspects) a while back because every single crime show will do at least one episode where they reference him.

How dare you lock Rex in a container?

Once again, how do they get Diesel to make these genuinely distressed noises? Like, this is so good.

Charlie thinks that Leah saved his life and I'm grumbling lol. Or I was when I watched it the first time. Now I'm like, "Oh Charlie, you beautiful himbo."

That's because Rex is the one with the actual instinct.

Here's a part of actual backstory that Charlie tells and I've forgotten. A teenage girl had died in his arms after getting shot.

I love that Sarah is trying to do her normal banter/flirt/non-colleague chat with Charlie and then as soon as she sees he has Leah with him, she falters.

Rex: So you go from the barista with the awful coconut smell to a literal criminal? Not on my watch.

"There's no reason to be jealous". Oh, you haven't seen jealousy, dude. You have a perfectly non-jealous but protective and intelligent Rex. Trust me, you're probably the only one in the franchise with that privilege.

Oh, buddy, I get you.

No, I just cringed my life. I'll be fine.

"She's my work mistress, you're my work wife". Women love to hear that, Charlie. But okay. Flirt. From the way Sarah responds, she's into it. I'd still want a word with the male man who wrote those lines, though.

Jesse is acting like the comedic relief in the entire episode.

I like that Charlie is watching as Rex is being affectionate with Biggs. He's like, what the fuck, Rex shouldn't like this guy. Is my dog broken?

You mean, the way it doesn't and you can do whatever you want with him? Unnecessarily mean? Maybe. But at this point, Charlie needed some real help connecting the dots while he's usually faster to do so. She fried his brain. Or rather, she redirected his blood flow somewhere lower than his brain. By that point, I'd wanted him to get laid because he would see things clearer afterwards.

Men. Also, she totally took her jacket off on purpose.

I actually do feel bad for Charlie. I mean, he was divorced, trying to get back on to dating and then, to start liking a fellow law enforcement officer who turns out to be a crooked... Shitty luck.

Don't you do the tongue thing, sir. She already left you.

You know it's a bad sign when your date climbs out of your bathroom window.

Rain scenes are probably a nightmare to shoot but this scene did need that kind of rainy, foggy atmosphere.

I've been wanting a Charah scene where Sarah is waking up from whatever injury and Charlie is there for ages. Curse upon whomever thought that Sarah had to get severely injured hundreds of miles (I don't know Canadian geography) away from Charlie in S5.

Getting chewed out by the bossman. Deserved.

Oof, suspended. (I'm pretending I didn't know that.) And he goes by the shelter again.

More bad news. Rex's girlfriend Bella is going to the pound. Can no one be happy?

Yeah, actually. You think you've solved the case and there are ten minutes left in the episode.

Okay, now your flirting is coming between your work. Sarah should not be hesitating to talk to Charlie about Leah pulling off the GSR test just because he might think that she's jealous of Leah.

We're back to being a comedy.

Nice trick making us think that because of Leah's text pretending to be Joe, Charlie never actually managed to contact Joe before meeting Leah and therefore was without backup.

If my dog had managed to sniff out a traitor like that, I'd never ever doubt him again.

Dude, how many extras did they get?

And closing with Biggs adopting Bella. Cute.

I actually maxed the image limit on this post and had to delete some screenshots lol. I had a lot to say, okay?

I also feel the need to explain that just because I think someone acts like a dumbass it doesn't mean I hate them. It feels like a thing that we have to explain nowadays. I don't know.

[coolwyous]

wowowowow your purinz fic has to be my absolute favorite on the tag and i’m not just flattering you. i just binged it in one (1) sitting instead of doing my projects. i wanted to say this here because it felt more personal than a guest comment on ao3. im really sorry for writing so much but this is the condensed version of my love for this purinz 😭

you come to me not as an author, but a sister with whom i picked berries in a past life… i feel connected with this fic on a neurotic level. your characterization of our main girls comes off so so accurate im surprised its the only purinz under your account. chaewon is the cutest angry baby cheetah (it kills me every time yunjin calls her an angry little/tiny something 😭) and yunjin is an overeager golden retriever i love her. i understood chaewon’s frustration with her at first as she did seem egotistical and annoying - i was also a little worried about how believable it would seem for them to start liking each other considering the pure hatred; but the development is so good and so natural!!! the slow burn is slow burning

prayinggggg that these girls wake up a little too close to each other next chapter or even have breakfast together. please let chaewon continue to be filled with rage and contempt and boss yunjin around.

it has been 2 hrs since i first read this ask and i CANNOT get "you come to me not as an author, but a sister with whom i picked berries in a past life…" out of my head i legit shit you not 💔💔💔💔 like this spoke to my heart SOOOO bad u have no clue i think we r soul bonded now, sister!!

i love getting purinz anons bc no you have no clue what they do to my brain, my heart, my soul....... this fic has an extremely special place in my heart and hearing how much it resonates w ppl is like so mind boggling to me 😵‍💫 i have so much fun w little ssamachi crashout baby cheetah and the absolute moron of a golden retriever she's stuck with. each chapter i write i'm literally surprising myself like wow im having so much fun which is ultimately the goal of writing, right? i'm a SUCKER for slow burn so i am so glad you're enjoying it!! i can drag out a slow burn for AGES so tbh i'm hoping the progression feels natural since it may take forever <3 lmao. angry lil tutor isn't going anywhere i reassure you <333 tysm for reaching out you have no clue how much i appreciate you. hope to hear from you when ch 5 drops (hopefully soon!)