#next few posts will be art related I promise

[scuorge10]

I don’t do the Mouthwashing fandom anymore (I only ever drew like two things for the game) but shipping Anya with any of the men in that game is weird as fuck to me, personally.

TW// MENTIONS OF SA

Like, 1) Jimmy is her abuser/rapist

2) Curly knew about Jimmy SAing Anya and didn’t do anything about it, basically enabling Jimmy and only caring about Jimmy

3) Daisuke is like what? A teenager? Maybe very early 20s where as she is probably way older? I know age past 20 ships don’t really matter for a bunch of people and I myself am fine with age gaps as long as they met as adults and are preferably over 25+ but I legit just don’t see these two together at all. Daisuke also gives off like little brother energy than anything

4) Swansea wasn’t interested in her at all lmao

Also I know this comes off of as me being like a major downer because “people should be able to ship whatever they want” but there at least needs to be a line or something or at least allow people to express their dislike for ships while you get to express your like for them. Idk man it just rubs me the wrong way when people ship her with any of these guys ☹️

[bananawaddledee]

“a, a… mic OK!”

(i feel really. bad because shizuku was the first project sekai character i looked at and thought “yeah this character will be the one i hyperfixate on for the next few months” but then i discovered vivid bad squad and just never posted any art of her 😞😞😞 [tjat’s also why my first pjsk related post was a sketch of her AND IM GIVING YIU THIS INFO TRUSTING THAT YOU WON’T GO AND LOOK AT MY OLD STUFF.] im sorry shizuku my queen i will promise to draw more of you)

[hoshinasblade]

For real, the animator had ri have been a Hoshina loyalists. Cause no way he looks that bad. For a Narumi prompt it could be funny that he gets with someone that doesn't know him. Someone who doesn't believe he is the 1st division captain because they only see him as the "wet cat" version of himself. And we have Narumi losing his mind over the fact you don't believe him

(not sure where tumblr took my post again because i cant find it lol) the budget went to hoshina and his tight shirt and there was nothing left to animate narumi properly. anyway, this is such a cute and interesting prompt because because yes, he is losing his mind over you not believing he is the cool first division captain 😆

pairing: gen narumi x f!reader trigger warnings: narumi gen is a trigger warning himself, just super short because im not used to writing anything narumi-related yet. hopefully you don't get mad at me anon for not going exactly per the ask lol my brain is a mush right now, i'll try harder on my next fics

the rich man is here, shouted the kids from the hallway. you can hear their hurrying footsteps - excited little taps that in turn triggered your heartbeat to race as well. you shut your eyes, calming yourself down.

narumi gen is not exactly a rich man; the children in the orphanage just calls him that fondly. apparently he has been dropping by for years, way back when you weren't working as a teacher yet. the older orphans refer to him as nii-san.

narumi would bring toys snd snacks for the kids, and would spend time with them until the early evening before he has to say goodbye. last time, he played video games with everyone; he brought crayons and sketch boobs for his visit today, and within an hour, it was eerily quiet - the little girls and boys holding their pencils, drawing all sorts of things.

the youngest in your herd, a six-year old boy with a missing front tooth ran to you when he saw you by the door, showing you his drawing - a stick-man figure with a knife in its hand, and an animal beside it which you were not sure whether it's an oversized dog or a giraffe.

"it's a kaiju, and narumi nii-san is fighting it", the boy explained, and you patted him in the head. "he's a captain of his team, i'm gonna be like him when i grow up!"

you looked at narumi who is sitting on the floor, but he was already looking at you. you shifted your gaze. "this is so pretty, we should display it in the art wall", you suggested to the boy who grinned at you, clapping.

"you know that it's not a good thing to do, lying to kids, right?" the children had bid narumi goodbye just past 7pm, and although some of them cried, narumi was quick to promise he would be back next weekend. you were surprised, he used to only be here once a month.

"huh?" he responded to you with confusion. you walked him out the orphanage to the parking lot outside. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"look, i know you are trying to be nice. and i thank you for that. what you've done for these kids is more than anyone else have done for them. but telling them you're some guy who kills kaiju is wrong. and telling them they can be like you?" you scoffed.

narumi's mouth was wide open before he realized you have finished your speech. "but i am a guy who kills kaiju", he replied, his hand on his chest as if he is swearing on his life. "really, i'm not lying. i'm the captain of my team -"

"right, and you fight kaiju on the daily," you finished his sentence for him.

"yes, i am a real badass, i promise!" he exclaimed when he sensed you do not believe him in the slightest. it looks comical how he looks close to panicking over the fact that you are not buying whatever he's selling. he frowned at you, and you stared at him, the eye contact lasting for a few seconds.

maybe this guy is a con-artist and he makes his living manipulating people, you said to yourself. this would make a lot of sense considering you think he has the good looks to lure people in. narumi had flirted at you once or twice before - or you wish he was flirting and you were not just reading too much on his actions.

"you know if you meet my friends, they would tell you the truth," he suggested, his voice cheerful.

"why would i meet your friends?" you asked, equally confused.

"so they can tell you that i am the coolest captain of the anti-kaiju defense force. they would also tell you i am a good man and a dependable friend," narumi said, reciting maybe the contents of his curriculum vitae to you. is he in a job interview? you wanted to ask but didn't.

you sighed in defeat. "are your friends as exasperating as you are?" you asked in jest.

"come on, let me impress you", he told you with sincerity that is almost startling. you were not expecting him to sound so genuine, so adamant at proving himself to you.

the kids will have their dinner in a few minutes and you will be needed to help out. you gave narumi one last glance before strolling back to the orphanage. "i'm off on fridays", you said.

narumi's smile could have lighted the entire street.

[oopsallgoalies]

False Confidence: Chapter 11

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Summary: The Athletic named Javy Machado the fifth sluttiest player in the NHL last year. He’s a known playboy who leaves every game with a different girl. As far as he’s concerned he’s living the dream, playing his dream job with the dream lifestyle. Unfortunately his friends and bosses don’t agree. At 33, they think it’s time for him to settle down. You’re a kindergarten teacher at an esteemed private school. You don't expect much when you finally accept your colleague’s invitation to attend her husband’s hockey game but when you accidentally get separated in the post-game rush, you find yourself in a compromising situation with the last person you’d ever expected to meet. When his PR rep suggests a mutually beneficial agreement, your hands are tied. How long will you have to keep up the act? And how long will you be able to?

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, anxiety, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: I planned to wait until 5pm but fuck it, we ball

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

You pick at the knit fabric of your sweater before you remember how much it cost and forcibly pull your arms back to your sides. The sweater and skirt you’re wearing under it are another product of your shopping spree with Nat and you’d secretly chosen it for today, planning of course to find some Javy-related event to wear it to later to justify putting it on his card. You couldn’t help it, you wanted something special for tonight. After an anxiety-ridden week spent pacing your living room every night trying to choose the pieces you wanted to showcase, it’s finally the night of your gallery showing. Pop-up gallery, you remind yourself. It’s a one-night event, promising minimal exposure for your art, but the idea of hanging it somewhere that’s not on your walls is enough to have you bouncing on your feet as you overanalyze your canvases currently hanging on the wall. You didn’t have the budget for the ornate frames you secretly envision your pieces inhabiting so the naked canvases are on display and you try not to let it bug you. Your little area is flanked by plenty of other artists, ranging in notoriety. None of them are particularly mainstream, but you’ve heard of a few of them on social media including the one hosting the event.

You’ve only been allowed five pieces tonight, but you know even that is more than nothing. Hanging in the center is the piece Nat had complimented and then gone on to text you about multiple times this week insisting that you include it in the gallery exhibition. You gaze at it as you bounce on the balls of your feet. The gallery should be opening anytime now, and while Nat promised to swing by sometime tonight, you aren’t expecting any other company. Your art has always been something intimate and personal, and you don’t talk about it often. Most people don’t know you paint, and even those who do rarely get a glimpse of your art. Despite your unwillingness to share it with the people in your life, you long for the world to see it, just perhaps not those who know anything about the artist. You tell yourself that you want your paintings to speak for themselves instead of adding to your friends’ perception of you. In reality, you’re probably afraid of criticism, of them seeing the darkest parts of yourself, unveiled and hung on a wall for their scrutiny. What if they don’t like what they see?

The painting of the bay makes your stomach twist. You don’t usually paint scenes from your life, rather using your experiences and emotions and pouring them into whatever your brush creates out of them. This painting feels oddly intimate, but you assure yourself that it shouldn’t. The only person who could possibly recognize it is Javy and he won’t ever see it. To the rest of the world, it’s simply another piece in your collection. Your eyes trace the canvas, slowly but surely making their way to the nondescript figures in the corner. Your heart tugs painfully as you’re taken back to that night, remembering the storm in your head and the way he’d quieted it with a single touch.

“Holy shit, Meep, this is amazing,” you almost think you hear his voice and chuckle to yourself. That is until you hear it again and feel a body step closer to you, the air between you crackling with electricity. “You’re amazing,” you turn in surprise, face transforming as you run through a thousand emotions at once. Shock at his sudden appearance, surprise that he’s here, terror that he’s here, and joy because he’s here. Your lips part in shocked surprise as you stare at Javy, standing next to you, eyes glued to the canvas in front of him, a bouquet of tiger lilies in his arms.

“Javy?” Your voice comes out choked with the emotion you can barely contain. He’s here. What’s he doing here? He turns to you and the strength of his smile almost sends you to your smile. “What? What are you doing here?” You stammer, as your brain fires at a mile a minute as it tries to understand how.

“Meep, as disappointed as I am that you didn’t tell me about this, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

“B-but how?” Your brain has descended into a world of gray static as you stare at this man standing here, who showed up for you when you didn’t even ask.

“Nat said the gallery opened at 8, but she’s running late because she’s always running late. I would get used to that, by the way, she doesn’t mean anything about it, she’s just always been that way-” You cut him off as you throw your arms around his neck and seal your lips against his.

***

You’re kissing him. Javy’s brain short-circuits. He’d expected a lot of things when he arrived here without an invitation. Nat had mentioned that you’d seemed surprised that she’d even wanted to come, and he was sure you’d already be overwhelmed by the event itself, and even more by Nat’s presence since he knows she can come on strong. Not to mention that it sounded like she essentially invited herself to the event. He knows he’s not much better, but you’ve been entertaining a lot of his antics. You’ve come to games, you’d come with him to the auction, and on top of that, you somehow hadn’t blocked him despite all the silly texts he’s been peppering him with. Not to mention that he wants to be here. He’s wanted to see your art since you first mentioned it, but you’ve never offered. You’re even protective over your home, which he’s realized is at least partially due to your art being all over the living room according to Nat. Today is different. If the public gets to see your art, he should count as a member of the public, right? He’s brought the flowers as a peace offering. That and he can’t erase the look on your face when he gave them to you out of his mind.

He’d expected you to be good, you’re a hard worker and determined. You put your all into everything you do, and he’s sure it would translate to your art as well. He hadn’t expected to be so completely blown away, though. He almost feels silly, having taken you to that auction, paying such high prices for someone else’s art for his home when he’d rather have your work all over his walls. Especially the piece in the center. He recognizes it immediately, the stretch of road off the coast of the bay where he’d been scared he’d lose you before he’d even gotten to know you. The cliffs, the highway the water churning below, are all painted in various shades of dark moody blue, and there in the corner, a pair of indestinct figures locked in an embrace. Suddenly all his feelings are at the front of his mind, and he wonders nervously if maybe you feel for him a fraction of what he feels for you and it sends his heart into a tizzy.

Then there’s the look on your face. He watches every emotion process clear as day as panic slams against his ribcage, afraid of overwhelming you, afraid of hurting you, afraid of ruining your evening, afraid of ruining everything. Then before he can find the words, words to apologize, words to try and calm you in an effort to calm himself, your arms around his neck, and your lips are on his.

He can’t breathe but if this is what not breathing feels like, he never wants to take another breath. Your lips are soft, so damn soft. How does he not remember them being this soft? Though the initial kiss was full of adrenaline-fueled determination, he can feel you begin to falter, your lack of experience threatening to let the nerves win so he kisses you back, meeting your hunger with his own, doing his best to control himself from pinning you against the wall like the piece of art that you are. He lets his hands find your waist, hauling you impossibly close as your fingers twist into the fabric of his turtleneck, holding on for dear life as he kisses it out of you. He guides your lips with his own and you’re the perfect student, as your nerves melt and you let your body respond to him. He registers a sticky texture on your lips and almost groans against your mouth as he recognizes it as the gloss you’d worn to the art show. He’d been desperate to kiss it off you that night and he takes the opportunity to do it now. His tongue darts past his lips to taste it before he can stop himself but your soft whimper in response tells him it’s okay. He almost sinks to his knees right there at the sound.

***

Your brain turns to mush as you feel Javy’s lips move against your own. His hands find your waist in a way that’s simple, perfectly respectable, and yet the force that he’s gripping you threatens to leave bruises on your skin. Secretly you hope he does so you can assure yourself later that this is real, that you’re really kissing Javy Machado. And he’s kissing you back, returning the hunger that’s been stoked to life in your heart. You feel something wet dart against your lips and your eyes almost roll into the back of your head as you realize it’s his tongue. The deep rumble that comes from his chest after that forces a whimper from your throat. Heat washes over your face as you realize but he doesn’t seem deterred or embarrassed, he just pulls you closer and you go like a moth to a flame.

It’s been so long since you’ve kissed someone and meant it. It feels like falling into a fire and somehow coming back to life after burning down to microscopic ashes. Your heart squeezes in your chest as your brain pounds with the realization. He wants you. He wants you back. He wants you too. You want it to last forever, even as you grip Javy’s shirt with a desperacy that screams at him not to slip through your finger. That screams at you not to be the butt of another joke. But you won’t be, not this time, because he wants you. The cynical voice in your head drowned out by each desperate press of your lips. You want it to last forever even as your lungs beg for relief. Your head and heart are at war and you’re not sure how you’ll make yourself choose that is until a voice breaks through the pounding in your ears.

“Really? Come on, you guys, we’re in public for heaven’s sake.” You reluctantly pull away from Javy and your vision spins as you come back down to the ground. You don’t get very far, Javy’s lips chasing yours until he registers the voice. He groans and you suppress the urge to shudder at the rumble of it against your skin as he leans his forehead to your temple as you turn to face Nat who’s standing with her hands on her hips, a playful look of disapproval on her face as she suppresses the giddy grin fighting it’s way to the surface and you follow her gaze to where the bouquet Javy was holding has fallen to the ground and your cheeks heat in embarrassment.

“Fuck off, Nat,” Javy grumbles, pressing a kiss to the side of your face before turning to pepper the nearby skin with dozens of small pecks.

Nat raises a single eyebrow. “This is Roadie’s big night, Javy, come on, let her have her moment.” He groans against your skin, still not moving.

Your eyes widen as Jake appears behind Nat, coming around the corner, followed by Bugs, Zam, Bradley, Dragon, Bob, Mickey, Reuben, and Josie with the kids. You feel tears well in your eyes as Jake approaches and you realize he’s carrying a cake. He grins and you catch sight of the cake. The edge has been decorated to look like a frame and inside are the words, “You’re a Work of Art, Congratulations Roadie!” You don’t realize you’re crying until Javy pulls you against his side and strokes your hair gently.

“Congrats on the gallery spot, Roadie!” Jake says and suddenly you’re surrounded by these people who are slowly but steadily becoming your friends and you’re sobbing harder as each of them hugs you. When you finally get to Nat you throw yourself into her arms and she squeezes you tight.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you sob over her shoulder.

“Welcome home, Roadie,” she whispers back and you hold her tighter.

That’s how your first gallery show that you’d spent the whole week stressed out over turns into a party. Everyone sits down on the floor around your wall and Josie expertly cuts the cake that Zam reveals Bradley made, to which you launch onto him to give him a big hug he instantly stiffens in response to before he relaxes and hugs you back. Mickey brought paper plates and soon you’re all eating cake and chatting, and if the other artists give your group dirty looks, you don’t even notice.

You’re leaning against the wall under your paintings when Javy scoots beside you, shoulder brushing yours. “So, is any of the art here for sale?” He asks and you shake your head, gesturing around the room.

“Not exactly, this is different than an actual sale, but I’m sure some artists end up selling if someone shows up and is willing to pay a good price. We come here for publicity and hopefully to make some connections, but if you sell a painting I’d say it’s a pretty good night.” He nods before turning to you.

“And your art? Is it for sale?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“My art?” He nods. “You want to buy my art?” You stammer, trying to wrap your head around the idea. “I couldn’t make you pay for my art,” you say, frowning and he pokes your forehead with a finger, soothing the frown away.

“You wouldn’t be making me do anything, I want to. After all,” he gives you a pointed look, “it’s the least you can do after letting me pay $50,000 for what you claimed was the perfect centerpiece for my living room.” You frown again and he reaches up to attempt to smooth it away again.

“I meant that, why, did you not like it once you hung it up?”

He chuckles. “I like it just fine, but not as much as this one,” he moves his finger from your forehead to gesture above him to the cliff painting. Your cheeks warm as you follow his finger.

“Javy…”

“I mean it, Meep. I love that painting, more than anything else we saw last week. I love it even more knowing that you painted it.” He leans his head against yours. “I want to buy it.” He turns then and you feel his nose brush your ear as he whispers, “I want to buy my girlfriend’s painting and have it hanging in my house because that’s where it belongs.”

Your cheeks are burning and you feel dizzy as Javy whispers that word. It feels different somehow and you find your lips repeating it, trying it on, trying to reconcile that it’s real. “Girlfriend?” He nods against you.

“If you’ll have me,” he whispers back and you reach down where his hand is splayed between the two of you and lace your fingers together before you turn slightly so his nose slips against yours.

“I’ll have you,” you whisper against his lips and he shudders. This big, strong, proud, cocky man shudders at your words. You look at him in silent awe, committing every bit of his face to memory. His beautifully smooth skin so close to yours, his eyes so dark and yet so bright, dancing with mirth when he doesn’t notice, and those lips, so full and steady and you marvel at the way they’re slightly swollen, your subtle mark on him.

“Like what you see, Meep?” he asks, his voice a soft exhale like he’s trying to avoid breaking your concentration as you stare at him. You hum in affirmation. You want to paint him, to try and capture his likeness even when you know you’d never be able to do him justice, like taking a picture of the moon.

Nat blows a raspberry at the two of you and Javy squeezes his eyes shut like he’s praying for patience. Your cheeks heat as you’re reminded that you’re not alone. Nat winks at you cheekily and you turn back to the group. Jake looks over and gives you a fond smile that you return shyly. You look around at the people who’ve come into your life over the last week and smile as you think over Nat’s world. Maybe they could be your home after all.

***

Javy’s thigh bounces as he watches the screen of his laptop while the video call rings. He’s been abnormally poor about catching up with his family since he met you. Deep down he knows why, but he’s finally decided he needs to say something. He doesn’t doubt that Isa’s opened her mouth since he told her about you but he’s hoping he’s in time to do some if any damage control. His oldest sister is more than capable of reading him for filth and has done so her own fair share of times over the years. Most of the time he deserves it.

The call finally connects the four faces that pop onto the screen. Isadora’s sitting next to his mother and Javy’s once again stricken by how similar they look. Cecilia and Sophia are perched on kitchen stools behind the older women, but even they’re not little girls anymore and Javy finds himself mourning the days when they still looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. Instead, all four women are wearing the same suspicious look and he heaves a sigh. It’s going to be a long evening.

“Hi Mama,” he starts but before he can continue, her eyes narrow.

“Don’t you ‘hi, mama’ me, Javier,” he swallows, hard. “You haven’t called in almost a month. Don’t think I didn’t notice. I know you’re busy but it looks like you’ve been busier than usual this month.” He swallows, again. “It seems everyone but your own mother knows you have a girlfriend.” She arches a single eyebrow in question and wishes you were here. You’re so much braver than him.

“Fake girlfriend,” Isa clarifies, and Javy closes his eyes as he braces for the onslaught about to come his way.

“Okay but is she a fake girlfriend, if he actually likes her? Doesn’t that just make her a crush, or is that one of those ‘situationship’ things?” Cece pipes up and Phe rolls her eyes.

“Javy doesn’t even know what situationships are, how could he possibly be in one.” Phe points out. His youngest sister has a good point but it doesn’t keep Javy from frowning as Cece gives him a shrewd look.

“Okay, but do you like her, Javy, or did you just tell Isa that as a cover?” Cece asks with an accusatory tone. He suddenly wishes he’d just called every member of his family separately to explain before attempting a group call.

“Why would I even call Isa to ask for help buying her flowers if I didn’t like her? I have female friends, you know.” He points out and Cece rolls her eyes. “I consulted a professional for a reason.”

“And that reason is?” Isa asks even though she knows.

“Look I know what you want me to say but I’m not saying it to you before I say it to her, that’s cheating.”

“Javy, you wouldn’t know cheating if it had its tongue down your throat.” Cece remarks and Javy glares at her even as his stomach roils. She doesn’t know the half of it.

“Well, I’m not saying it, until I tell Roadie, I stand by that. And if you’d let even get two words out, I’d just tell you that she’s my girlfriend. My real girlfriend, not my fake girlfriend, and yes I know the difference. I asked her out yesterday.” He fights the urge to cross his arms defensively as he scowls at the screen. He thinks it might be frozen because for once the figures on the other side don’t say anything.

That is until Cece breaks the silence “And she said yes?” It’s Javy’s turn to roll his eyes and this time he does cross his arms across his chest.

“YES.” They all fall quiet again and then Phe screams. She jumps off her stool and brings her face up close to the camera.

“JAVY HAS A GIRLFRIEND! JAVY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!” Is his youngest sister twenty-six years old? Yes.

“Sophia sit down.” Javy’s smile dies before it fully eclipses his face. Phe returns to her stool, flashing him a supportive smile before his mother speaks again. “Javy, I want the whole truth, not just bits and pieces from you, Isa, and the media.” He swallows, hard. He’s done a lot of regrettable things in his life, but he’s never had to explain them to his mother before.

He fights the urge to squirm in his seat and he’s wishing you were here again. A wet nose nudges his hand he looks down to see Roxy cocking her head at him. He scoops her into his lap, letting his fingers bury themselves in her fur and trying not to wish it was your hair. “So, I… I met Roadie after a game. She came with her friend who’s one of the other guys, Reuben’s wife. I found her wandering around lost after a game, and I thought she was a puck bunny looking for a hookup so I kissed her.” He winces as Cece’s jaw drops and his mom’s and Isa’s mouths tighten into identical thin lines.

Roxy nudges his hand for pets and he continues. “The press somehow managed to get a photo and it started making the rounds. Zam had her come in so I could apologize and we could find out if she wanted to sue, which she would have been well within her rights to do, and instead, we made an agreement. She would pretend to be my girlfriend to help my public image, and I would pretend to be her boyfriend because the school she teaches at has some new backward policy that has her teaching contract renewal hinging on whether she’s in a relationship.” He shakes his head in irritation at the unfairness of your situation all over again.

“So we started fake dating and it turns out she’s amazing. She’s a kindergarten teacher and she’s so good at her job. The kids love her, and you can tell she loves them. She also does art in her spare time,” he pauses then, bends the laptop screen back, and picks up the computer so he can show off the painting hanging behind him. “She painted this,” he explains proudly. “She’s so damn talented.” He sits back down, places the computer back on the coffee table, and Roxy climbs back on his lap. “I fucked up somewhere in the middle. I could tell I was starting to have real feelings for her and I hurt her,” he falls silent, the image of your teary eyes as you pushed past him at the karaoke bar playing before him.

“She helped me realize that there were things I needed to fix, to change. My friends all helped me try and get her back, and she let me back in. We decided to continue the charade as friends but I was already in love with her. It was too late. And then yesterday she kissed me.” He feels hope bubbly giddily up in his stomach. “It's still new and it’s probably too soon to say, but I think she’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m going to fight for her. Not because I deserve her, because she deserves a hell of a lot better than me, but because she chose me, and that’s enough.” He looks back up and sees a small smile on his mother’s face as she watches him. He expects her to say a lot of things, but he doesn’t expect the next words out of her mouth.

“Bring her to Dallas, Javier, I want to meet her.”

A/N: AAA AAAA AAAAAA!!!! I’M LOSING MY MIND!!! It’s been a long time coming~

[tvtoontime]

Hey I've seen that you've not been active recently, I like the comic so far, so I have a question why haven't you been active?

Sorry for not answering questions as of late! I have a few answered ones in my draft!

I DO APOLOGIZE IF THIS POST MAKES YOU FEEL UNEASY OR UNCOMFORTABLE. This post is mostly for anyone who’s curious about the lack of posts. I don’t need any comfort, compliments or reassurance, trust🫡.

(I’ve been meaning to talk about this topic in detail for a while but i know people get uncomfortable with this kind of negativity!)

“STRAIGHT FORWARD” ANSWER:

I’ve been a little less motivated to draw, thinking every drawing or comic isn’t worth looking at. Im not consistent with my art and want to change up everything if i’m not satisfied with it which makes it confusing for everyone else. Dandy’s design is a big example of that.. Lots of comparing comes into play too. I do NOT have a pretty art style what so ever. dgmw, It’s not meant to be pretty but i get embarrassed when I draw something that’s meant to be somewhat pleasing to the eyes but turns out cringy.(dandy & astro comic). There’s such pretty art out there and it feels like im destroying the beauty of the characters. I also feel like I disappoint others consistently since i have high expectations for myself. I want to improve faster and faster so i push myself. At this point i might’ve accidentally over done it. I took a break to see if that’d help things but when i came back there was a TON of negativity on tiktok.(where i started out) which also pushed me away further to draw since i liked seeing positive things about dandys world! I’m not giving up just yet, because i want to live my art and keep inspiring younger or even older artists to draw different angles and so much more!

(I will also point out, whenever I draw, it takes a lot of time. i am unfortunately a slow artist..sigh.💔)

MORE DETAILED ANSWER WITHIN:

TW: LOADS OF SELF NEGATIVITY & NEGLECT.

Let’s start from the top.

HAPPINESS?

Tiktok was where i started posting comics. (i never made a comic before, so that was my “first” time) All i really wanted to do was post relatable dw experiences for the fun of it.

I didn’t realize people would actually like a simplified, horribly colored, comic. Either way, I was having fun.

I got this really weird motivational high when others wanted more or the “next part”. i literally couldn’t fall asleep and wasn’t eating from all the thrill. I couldn’t tell if I was happy or really anxious from the attention.

I got a little afraid once i reached 10k or something like that. I didn’t have a story for the “AU” nor did i ever create one in my life. I couldn’t tell if people liked filler episodes or random episodes or if they really liked the lore/plot.(everyone was angry at qwel for not showing any lore so I got worried about that happening with me and wasting everyone’s time.)

GROWING GUILT.

At one point i took a break from the comic to create some silly little christmas special which,, i should have planned out beforehand. It felt like I made a promise to post every night for december like a christmas advent calendar(that was the plan basically).

Big mistake. I already had an insecurity/fear of disappointing others. I believed i could make these silly little shorts every night. I once again struggled to sleep and eat but this time from guilt that was growing. I finally called it quits on the 7th day(sad ik i only made it to 7 days lol) since a lot of people were concerned once i was late and i seriously didn’t want to concern anyone. I still had ideas but i couldn’t keep up with the days.

OVERWHELMING SUPPORT.

The support from the familiar faces was and still is overwhelming. Everyone was/is so nice and yet i still felt like i let everyone down? I felt like i needed to give more or try harder as thank you for supporting and being there and for treating me like a human being especially when other creators had people pushing them to make their comics. No one asked me to try harder but i felt/feel the need to push myself, or to make a better version each time.

I don’t know how to take compliments. A small thank you doesn’t feel like enough. I want to do MORE but I know I can’t.

TOOK A BREAK.

I didn’t want to take a break, but it was needed. I also needed to take advice from the familiar faces i saw because they were right. I thought I was ready to come back because, I had a story, had a plan to go at my own pace, say a simple thank you for the support, and move along. I also wanted to step out of my comfort zone and become one with the community. (Idk if this was such a good idea tbh LOL. I feel invasive like rodger or shelly.)

FANDOM NEGATIVITY.

I loved the community and how silly we all were back when it was growing. The way people portrayed the characters in their aus, created lore, ships and their names were creative, ocs, and so much more to create a somewhat healthy community. It was Dandy’s world’s prime time for me.

However,,, During March, All i saw was negativity.

No one was negative in my comments, however, whenever i went on tiktok, all it was, was(and still is) negativity. I’m not talking about slimetok or some shit hating on “us” and changing the “💔” emoji to a rotting flower, I’m talking about our OWN community hating on the new updates, hating on certain characters, on aus, on ships, hating on ANYTHING that helped create the community. Some of the community members are also something else. All of this negativity really killed my motivation(personal stuff too). Dgmw, people can have opinions, but holy shit? How much negativity are you gonna diarrhea out???????

We’ve got bigger problems in the world. I already know this! But we kind of need to be happy here and there or else we’ll all be depressed or some shit.(an escape basically.) Unfortunately I used DW to cope which is probably why i’m feeling sad about all of this negative change.

OVERTHINKING DISAPPOINTMENT.

Due to the popularity on tiktok, I felt as though i was disappointing those large amount of numbers. I do feel like i should only focus on the people who are “closer” to the account, but i’ve had another issue with that too. Anyone I feel closer to, I feel like they’re going to be more disappointed not only in the art but they’ll get bored with my personality too? I’m still trying my hardest not to care so much about disappointment but it’s been a little tricky.

Unfortunately I look at my art differently now, hating everything i post and judging myself too quickly. I spent over 150 hrs on the two long comics “Abc song” “Snowballs coming your way” or something like that, and despise them. I also disliked the gigi/flutter/looey comic even though that one had gained the most attention on tiktok.

THE POSITIVE…?

I’m still drawing/posting since people get inspired by the art/perspective and it still makes me feel worthy enough to continue the comic/drawing. I too want to like my art again, so i’m not giving up. also my little sister took my ipad for school projects so i can’t exactly draw much rn…🧍

[ruffy-ruffles]

Lonely star and why I can't publish chapter 1

if I have Wanderer a design that isn't simplistic, and like designs people make for canon slugcat's, it'd look like this

Also the design side is someone cosplaying

The Canon side is crying <- interpret it as you want, like tears of joy, OR TEARS BECAUSE OF THE COMMA SPLICES.

If you wanna blame me for it, that's fine but...

Blame the thousand smth comma splices I made along the way!!!

Me and my co-writer @seraphimsirius

Are trying to fix it, so chapter 1 WILL take a bit <- I think I might've almost finished it anyway.

Sirius is just giving peer review and assisting with rewriting what ERRORS I made along the way :3

I really need to learn how to fix comma splices.

So if it takes a bit this is why

Also if you pressure me to finish the WHOLE story and send it out, here's what you'll get cost:

A rushed, sloppy story.

Probably no art for the next few weeks or months, depending on how long it absorbs my creative energy.

I won't set deadlines as I'm not good at keeping up with them, so the release of chapter 1 is unknown

Each cycle is kinda a chapter.

Visits to [REDACTED FOR LORE PURPOSES] aren't a chapter, and are apart of whatever chapter you found them on, and I will post them as such.

To know what chapter you're on <- I typed the whole story in Microsoft word, so it'll be extra lengthy because I have to type it down on tumblr...

Also the story will start off kinda uninteresting, unless you're interested in watching Wanderer slip and fall into scorching hot water the moment they leave a shelter at the start of chapter 1.

i promise you it will get interesting <- this is different for everyone.

regions we made you'll probably see in the storyline of each and every slugcat we write about

Crimson dunes/CD

Bubbling aqua/BA

Unadorned plains/UP

Sacred fields/SF

If we put them in saints timeline...:

Colorless tundra/CT

Solid sea./SS

Adorned Plains/AP

Field of graves/GOF

The list will update from time to time, but for now these are our regions

And it seems you guys already are really warmed up to Wanderer.

This makes the story and plot all the more satisfying....

Asks about any question you might have about the story ARE allowed, and you can still ask even WHEN parts of it are released.

But I won't expose anything related to lore, and I'll instead hit you with

or just :]

Anywho, QUESTIONS are allowed

Please ask away, don't be nervous I don't bite.

If I don't get to them right away I'm probably

A. Doing schoolwork

B. Sleeping

C. Other stuff, like being forced to watch a movie.

E. Working on the story.

if you don't know how to send an ask, just tap my profile and press the ask button that's on it!

[syntrahaven]

🌿 A dreamer building a digital sanctuary.

Hi there, dreamers and creators!

So, here I am—just trying to build my own little corner of the internet. A digital sanctuary, if you will. You know, one of those cozy spaces where creativity flows freely, stories come alive, and maybe (just *maybe*) someone else finds comfort or inspiration in what I create. But let’s be real: I’ve got *so much* to learn. Like… an overwhelming amount. But hey, isn’t that half the fun? :p

I’m diving headfirst into the world of AI, visual novels, and RPG game design because… well, why not? It’s equal parts thrilling and terrifying, but mostly thrilling. The idea of crafting worlds, characters, and stories that people can interact with? Yeah, sign me up for that rollercoaster. Of course, it’s not like I expect to become some legendary indie dev overnight. I mean, I still mix up basic coding terms sometimes (*is it “if” or “when”? Or is it both?! Help!*), but I’m here for the journey.

Digital art, storytelling, AI tools—they all fascinate me to no end. There’s something magical about taking an idea from your brain, feeding it into technology, and watching it grow into something tangible. And yeah, okay, sometimes it grows into something hilariously broken instead. But even then? Progress. Baby steps. Tiny pixelated victories.

As I stumble through tutorials, experiment with new tools, and probably cry over a few failed projects (hey, it happens to the best of us), I’ll do my best to share bits and pieces of my progress here. Think of it as part journal, part brainstorming session, and part “laugh-at-my-mistakes-because-they’re-kind-of-funny.” Who knows? Maybe someone out there will relate, offer advice, or even join me on this chaotic adventure.

So, if you’re reading this, thank you for stopping by. Be patient with me—I promise I’m learning as fast as I can! In the meantime, let’s embrace the messy, beautiful process of creation together. Oh, and feel free to drop a comment or message if you have tips, resources, or just want to chat about your own projects. Community vibes only, always.

P.S. If anyone has advice for staying motivated when things get tough, hit me up. Coffee and chocolate are great motivators, but I could use more sustainable strategies, lol. Catch you in the next post, friends! 🫂

[aspiringtrashpanda]

✨Fic Rec✨ - Divergent Fist 🍙💍

Buckle up, Inuokko enjoyers! It's time to check out Divergent Fist! If this story doesn't already have you in a chokehold, constantly on the edge of your seat, then it's time to dedicate a whole afternoon getting caught up. Make a tea, grab your weighted blanket, and read the 12 current chapters of this incredible doujinshi.

RATED M. Content Warnings - Canon-typical violence and gore, post-Shibuya incident, sexual content, lots of angst, trauma and related physical and emotional reactions (AKA Toge has no food left in his stomach).

Divergent Fist follows the stories of Toge Inumaki and Yuuta Okkotsu, navigating the world of jujutsu sorcerers, trauma and healing, and budding romance in the aftermath of the Shibuya incident. Expertly balancing the soft moments with the devastating, ArtMop (she/her) is in the midst of crafting a doujin that is sure to stand the test of time and become a classic for any fans of BL in the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom.

To start off, I'd like to be transparent that yes, I do edit ArtMop's chapters and help with the general planning of the series. I have a clear bias. That being said, I genuinely believe that this doujin is not getting the attention it deserves, and I just want to shout my love for it from the top of a mountain. Let me give a hardworking creator some love, okay?

First off, let's talk about the #1 selling point of DF - it is an illustrated fanfic that updates regularly and is accessible entirely for free. What more could you possibly ask for? You wanted more Toge content? More Yuuta content? Well, here you go!

It is worth noting that the art itself, despite being above average to begin with, improves drastically throughout the story. The anatomy, expressions, and details in the last few chapters are breathtaking. With each installment in the DF series, ArtMop improves and improves and improves. I, personally, wait with bated breath for the drop of the next color cover, the next insert art. There doesn't seem to be a ceiling in sight when it comes to ArtMop's swiftly growing skill, and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for her. If she applies a fraction of the same dedication to honing her craft to anything else in her life, she may become the next president... or something far cooler.

Stunning visuals aside, the story itself is magnificent. It integrates canon world building, mixed with original cursed techiques and characters, so seamlessly that it feels as though this is an actual spin-off of Jujutsu Kaisen. Perhaps an alternate universe where underutilized characters are given a bit more depth (shots fired 👈😎👈)?

The character arcs have been set in motion! We have Toge refusing to acknowledge his trauma. We have Yuuta's sexual awakening. We have a deeper look into Maki's friendship with Toge, and a delightful duo of new first years. And best of all? We have a villain with an interesting motive. It's clear that ArtMop has so much planned, more than we can possibly imagine! We are already starting to see how relationships are developing, how each character manages the aftermath of certain choices differently, and the story is only going to build from here.

Chapter 12 has just been posted on Tapas and Tumblr, and if you're craving even more Divergent Fist content, there are even a couple behind the scenes moments found on Archive of Our Own. Listen, as someone who knows the trajectory of the story, please check out this amazing series. You may be chewing your nails (like Toge) waiting for the next chapter, but I promise you that being along for the ride is part of the journey, and it will all be worth it in the end.

Okay, ramble over! Thank you for listening! Here, have a cute trio pic from the cover of Chapter 8:

Huge thank you to @artmopworks for this incredible work, and for letting me scream about her doujin. 💕

[rosypenguins]

“…Drew was screaming again, but Jake’s expression didn’t change. He took a few steps forward, closing the distance between them before resting a hand against Drew’s cheek.”

This piece is actually a redraw of a piece I made almost a year ago, just before I started this Tumblr. It’s also a scene from the next fanfic I have in store, which is probably one of my favorites so I’m really excited to share it!

Anyways heres the before and after:

(Sorry for all the fanfic-related content I’ve been producing recently. I’m not really sure if that’s what a majority of people are interested in, but I’m just really proud of where my writing is, and it’s something I want to share. Also I want to see how much I can get right about TMF S2 before it releases lol. I have a few more fic-related posts, but I promise I get back to posting more art and headcanons too. And I also gotta few things in store for pride month, I just need more time on them.)

[deadbeatbirdmom]

I've been thinking about how everyone in Vacuo knows Raven is the Spring Maiden. At least I presume everyone knows if Sun knows. Raven must have been using her powers to help for her to be included in that secret council, which might explain why it's not a secret that she's the Spring Maiden.

I've got to wonder if it came as a surprise to anyone. In theory Yang was keeping it a secret, in practice I agree with other posts pointing out it's not that hard to guess. It also wouldn't be the first time a revelation about Raven was shared off camera.

There's how Jaune, Ren and Nora knew Raven was Yang's mother in Volume 4, something I presume Ruby told them, because what Yang revealed to Blake in Burning the Candle wasn't exactly common knowledge, and I doubt Blake said a word to anyone about it.

Is Yang a hypocrite for lying to Qrow at the end of Volume 5? Personally I think there's a big difference between keeping it to herself that Raven is Spring Maiden, and between what Ozpin did after promising no more secrets.

Why do I think Yang did it? There's a few possible reasons:

(Under a read more cut because this post is getting longer)

Protecting Raven, who wanted to flee from Salem so much that she let Yang take the relic. Telling anyone that Raven was the Spring Maiden would increase the chance that someone would try to drag her into the fight against Salem. Also the more people who know, the more danger Raven's in from anyone who wants to be the next Spring Maiden.

Yang quite simply needed time to process things. That Raven killed the previous Spring Maiden when she was apparently under Raven's protection. That Raven let Yang put a target on her back instead of Raven aka taking the relic which Salem wanted. That Raven left her again. That Raven actually cared, leaving in tears and with an apology. That she didn't care enough to stay.

Seeing it as Raven's secret to reveal, and not Yang's place to tell anyone.

And perhaps Yang figured that it couldn't help if she did spill the beans, because Raven wanted to flee Salem, not fight. What could Yang say? "Oh, by the way, Raven's the Spring Maiden. She's gone because she's terrified of Salem. Help us fight her? Not on my life." It wouldn't be easy to say that your own mother valued her life more than yours. Much as I do like Raven and find her a fascinating character, that's precisely what she did when she let Yang take the relic. Raven is quite frankly a disaster, and that's part of what makes her interesting.

On the plus side it seems Raven decided to side against Salem after all, what with her presence in the secret council in RWBY Beyond. Perhaps what changed Raven's mind was losing Yang: I figure she felt it when Yang went where Raven's Semblance couldn't follow.

When was it revealed off camera? It certainly was at some point. Whenever Raven arrived in Vacuo, possibly zapping Grimm with Maiden powers so she didn't even need to say she's the Spring Maiden? Yang deciding to tell her friends somewhere between leaving Mistral and falling into the Ever After, and word spreading before Raven even showed up in Vacuo?

CRWBY I have questions. There's also only 3 episodes of RWBY Beyond left, I doubt I'll be getting answers.

It does amuse me to think of Yang bracing herself and opening up to her nearest and dearest about Raven being the Spring Maiden, after they arrive in Vacuo but before they know it's such common knowledge that Sun knows.

Yang: "Raven's the Spring Maiden."

Yang's friends and family: "We know. We guessed, and you're not much good at lying."

Cue shocked Yangichu. I made cursed art of a shocked Yangichu, although nothing to do with the Raven reveal (instead it came from this post).

I don't know how much sense I'm making here, I'm very tired. Oh, that reminds me, there's a Yang gif related to being very tired:

[asksuperlightextras]

Introduction!

“hello everyone! I’m Coraline, if you don’t know me I’m the main AI of the extra’s universe! Aswell as Caine and buble of course- there are several AU’s to explore here! The mains ones being the superlight universe and my universe, the extra’s universe! Who are basically a collection of abstracted circus members, but before anything, I want to set some ground rules, the expectations and quality of this blog, and what I have to offer for you all!!”

Rules

allows:

I will allow you guys (for entertainment) to have a little go at the characters, like Mynx and Vex

I do animations, free art and some times I’ll answer Ask through art so do not be afraid to ask for some!

there will be times when Ragatha or Gangle will I’ll put a bucket on kingers heads because he is here to, and is one of the main focus’ of the blog, when that happens the bucket will stay on for 5 asks before it goes away,

there will also be times when the ask box is full so I would try to answer them all at once, but it may take me time to think of answers!

be mean to the others all you want. I will play along

Kinger will answer most of the questions, this is a ask Kinger blog after all…

Don’t Allow:

I will not tolerate any harassment, sexism, homophobic’s, bullying, toxic behaviour or any sort of inappropriate behaviour on this blog, there is a reason the Anon asks aren’t on, and that’s because of an incident with @shortmomma1993 , and I’m only being cautious

please take note, that this blog owner is a minor, just around 13, and turning 14 next year, yes I know swear words but please refrain from using them, or asking any inappropriate questions because you will just be blocked

like I said, I do art, but please don’t ask for any inappropriate art works, but I also make edits so that’s up to you if you want to ask, just provide pictures and the style your looking for,

NO HOMOPHOBICS!!! I will not say this enough my friend, I myself am pansexual, and I will not tolerate homophobia, you will be blocked and reported.

Expectations

EXPECTATIONS!!! One I’ve been wanting to do for a while, as you can see this post is already longer the the river Nile, so I’ll make this part short for you!

Remember to expect a bit of gin references, bright images like these:

For reactions, also expect a bit of a father daughter relationship between @ask-pomni-things , the truth is that he adopted her a while back- I’m getting of topic,

ANYWAY! Expect things like art, animations that are quite sketched out, edits, art of my characters from the other AU’s on this blog, I will update the blog often to add more life and style to it, this will start with the profile, I will design these all myself, taking little inspiration from other creators like @chez-cinnamon , @saytrrose , thank you for the amazing art by the way guys-

I believe that’s it? Wait no…

there are a few things I want to say… with relations to other ask TADC blogs, these are the few I’m related to in talking terms

Queenie - @askthequeen

Pomni - @ask-pomni-things

Jax - @ask-jax-the-rabbit

Caine - @ask-teeth-eyes

Zooble - @zooble-the-whatever-i-am

Gangle - @ask-gangle-tadc (I believe? I’ll change it later I promise-)

Ragatha - @sweetragdoll

the circus - @amazing-digital-crew

that’s all!! Have fun here on the blog! I will tag different posts here so you guys can find them just under this line

Kinger head canons

schedule

Know about me?

[freyjas-musings]

I think its come to a point where I have to clarify a few things.

To start with , to everyone who reached out , thank you I am doing ok, I am just busy, I have a lot of work related travel in the next two weeks and I am preparing for my deadlines and dealing with real life . I promise I am fine.

As far as people who have doxxed me and have put my username on display subjecting me to bullying and harassment, the irony of the entire thing is not lost to me .

The fact that Elriels accused me of threatening to subject someone to harassment, when I specifically did not mention any username or individual .... while simultaneously displaying my username not only on several public FB groups which I have SS of, but also in several posts on both Tumblr and Twitter is baffling . Don't they see that they literally did what they accused me of "wanting" to do?

Who is the only one who is being subject to harassment and bullying ? Me and somehow I am the person who is in the wrong here ?

Now , coming to the part of character assassination, this isn't about fictional characters or books anymore , these people have written horrible things about me as a person ... twisted something I said on a post which most certainly wasn't said in a serious manner its dumb to think it was ( How would someone force someone to write an English exam ? The entire thing was exaggerated and ridiculous) and have called me different things varying from a Psychotic bitch to a creepy person aka defamation thereby posing a threat to my emotional and mental well-being.

I have been in this fandom long enough and I have interacted with enough people that it should atleast give most people that I have interacted with a general idea of what I really am like.

I have mostly kept well away from Elriels , I don't engage with them in any manner if I can avoid it and I have gone ahead and blocked as many of them and their tags. So , I clearly have no intention of interacting with them irrespective of whether they are decent people or not , I simply don't see the necessity and its not my preference. This is the reason most of my interactions usually revolve around Gwynriels and they are the only ones I usually address even in my posts.

I am a part of this fandom for myself and I commission art because I like the creative aspect of it and I love interacting and supporting artists. This much everybody knows about me.

The locus of my identity is internal to me and my circle of validation is a total sum of 2 people - My husband and my child.

So for anyone who thinks they can bully me into going away from the fandom by twisting things and saying mean things about me... you are really wrong.

I honestly wasn't feeling right about BB milking the ship war and preying on vulnerable people while also not lending their support to artists who are integral to the fandom... which is why , I literally stated 2 days back that I would be stepping back from the SJM fandom till we have news on the next book.

But .....

If this is the sort of shit people try to pull with me then it's not about BB anymore, My priority now is bullies in the fandom. My priority is people who thought they could manipulate my people against me.....

I HAVE A FEW WEEKS OF WORK THAT NEEDS MY FOCUS BUT COME APRIL 21ST .... I AM COMING BACK ... WITH MORE CONTENT , MORE COLLABS , MORE GWYNRIEL INITIATIVES AND BETTER STRATEGIES AND YES I WILL BE BOOSTING SEVERAL GWYNRIEL ART PIECES ....CRY ME A RIVER

This is to Gywnriels, I will totally respect it if you guys would like to unfollow me based on the propaganda that's been in action by the Elriels. But seeing I have gained 15 followers in the last 2 days I am going to assume you guys truly understand what I am as a person and for that I am thankful and incredibly grateful 🙏. If you guys see posts of people displaying my username please report both the post and the blogger.

Now , I would like to go back to work because irrespective of who Azriel gets to fuck in the next book ... my work is what is important... its what feeds me and pays my bills.

[sophiajamz00]

"Not a clown—Joker."

-Joker

Had a blast making this wicked OC🃏💖😚

[Commission Open😺👐🏻]

Heyyy!

Please do show some love in this art... Will be waiting to hear from you guys about this art😋🫶🏻. And if you're interested in getting your art done, DM me, I'll be glad to work with you🤭😃🤌🏻.

Blog Time🤓☝🏻

Soph Back!

As the summer passes and autumn arrives🍁🍂, my days are getting very unproductive,, unmotivated, lazy, darker and hopeless🫤😟 . I'm trying so hard to come out of this loop like all my past years yet, failing miserably. Idk if anyone relates to me in this but you must need to hear what I read today. A quote that says:

"You have to die a few times before you can really live."

-Bukowski

So I, promised myself that this day from now on, I'll be looking forward to changing myself. Break this spell which is cast on me. Will focus on every possible thing that needs to be done. Will not fall for this loop's conspiracies. I'll be not pushy myself too hard. Will be taking baby steps at a time.... 💪🏻🤍🌟

I will update you about it in my next post😄🫶🏻

Thank you so much for reading till the end✨✨.

[diy-fire-water-pups]

(( Inbox closed for a bit. There are - I kid you not - 29 questions currently drafted, including a few older (and newer) ones I still can't get to them because they're about things I haven't seen in the show yet. I need to focus on something else the next 3 days (it's Digimon anniversary, got related commissions to draw and I wanna finish some last minute attacks for Art Fight too), so replies will be occasional in the meantime. I can't focus on stuff when the asks just keep coming because I keep wanting to reply to everything ASAP, sorry XD I love you all but gimme just "a minute", ok? aushaushas

Also!! I'll prepare the raffle for you guys too!!! I promise my next OOC post here will be for it!!! LOVE YOU ALL AND STAY HYDRATED ))

[poupeesdecirque]

Little Roomtour - July 2024 (Pt 1)

I was asked to show my hobby related rooms a few days ago and after I finally went through a lot of cleaning (when you focus on just crafting and nothing else material gets .. everywhere) and some rearranging I can share some updated photos.

As you might see on the top we start with the Hobby/Doll Room itself and I will see how many photos I get into one post. I will overall share 3 of my rooms (guess bathroom/kitchen is not that interesting :') ) to show how it is with a lot of dolls and other collectable hobbies.

Let's start with the entrance to the crafts room, I have a garlant with memories on the wall along with postcards and then tickets to events I will attend the next months. The entrance itself is just closed by a noren, I ... don't really like my doors closed aside from for sleeping. My part of the house is small due the fact I am under the roof and the rooms feel bigger with doors open.

Right when you come in you have my crafts table where I sew and sometimes do other crafts (I still kinda prefer to do the handcrafts in my bedroom... mostly on the floor don't ask). I have aquired a new shelf for storage and have yet to sort out things but didn't have the time to before I left for a trip.

Over the desk there is a little spot for photos from Cons.

Then we come to a more interesting corner which is the seafolk doll corner and the costume storage. As you can see I went a bit further with the Clown Allen Costume already. The dolls here are a bit hard to spot the room itself is quite dark and while the little cabinets HAVE lamps the batteries run out so fast I don't bother to replace them every few weeks ^^' I didn't take close ups of the displayed dolls this time but can do if anyone is interested in the depths of the displays.

On the other side of the room we have my 3 first big doll cabinets with a variety of my dolls in there. Aside the DGM dolls you can spot almost all Fandolls here and some OC ones as well. In the bottom cabinets are my TG Figures/Merch to be found.

Then another major piece in this room, my art wall which has commissioned or gifted art for me (it's not all the rest is in a folder). In the middle is a newly arranged shelf I am still having progress on but it's now waaay better than before, it was mainly a "just shove the dolls somewhere" storage and now it actually looks like I have thought about where to put the dolls.

Underneath you find more little diorama cubes mainly for the pumpkins, for the newest one I have the wip post queued up it will follow later on. The Frankenweenie merch will most likely move to the new shelf to make space for dolls when time comes.

Theeeen the D.Gray-man themed cabinets, one day I will do a group photo I promise! I know Allen is missing here (well some Allens...) they are in my bedroom where I have some dolls on display as well. Under the cabinets is a part of my merch displayed.

Then on the other wall we have the more circus themed dolls and more of my merch (which will move down to make space for more dolls as said I am not done rearranging I will do that with time as some dolls haven't arrived yet). I just saw I chose a weird angle for the last photo, sadly I am right now not home and can't add another shot here but you get the impression how it's set up.

That's it for the doll/hobby room C:

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hail sex witch! I recently went in for my first pap smear/pelvic exam (prior to which I read your blog posts about them which helped more than I can express, thank you!) It was overall comfortable and I would even say a good experience because they answered a lot of questions I had and explained some basic stuff that I really needed spelled out for me. The only thing was that for a few weeks after the appointment I didn't want to touch/look at/think about my vagina whatsoever. It was just this weird feeling of vague but powerful embarrassment, which I would have expected during the appt itself but not after the fact. I didn't even want to catch glimpse of myself when undressed, and was showering with the lights off lol. Even though this didn't last long I also do not want to go back to those doctors and want to start over with a strange doctor, even though the doctor I saw was very good and likeable and helpful and absolutely nothing unpleasant happened during the appt. (I don't plan on changing doctors; I liked these ones! But there's still this unreasonable urge to book my next appointment somewhere else).

I know a big part of your philosophy seems to be that "is this normal" is often not a very useful question, but I guess that's what I'm asking anyway - is this a thing other people experience? Is it just part of the experience of being in a somewhat vulnerable position with strangers, no matter how much you trust said strangers? Or is it some weird quirk of my brain that I'll have to adjust for in the future? It didn't interfere with my life overmuch, but it's still a very strange thing to be so uneasy with your own body and have no idea why.

hi anon,

so, okay, I'm going to tell a short story, and it's not going to seem related initially, but I promise it is.

I really like getting tattoos. I have several of them now, and I like getting them! not just the final result of having meaningful art on my body; I like the actual process of feeling the needle vibrating into my skin and permanently changing me in a manner of my choosing. it feels good exciting; it gives me a little rush of dopamine even as the pain starts to kick in and in spite of any blood that oozes through. that's fine with me, because those are side effects of new tattoos that I know about and consent to by showing up in the shop, but here's the thing:

my body doesn't know the difference between "somebody cut our skin open and we're bleeding (consensual)" and "somebody cut us open and we're bleeding (holy shit go into crisis)." after my last tattoo, I was walking home (I live like ten minutes from the shop, it's fine) and although I was delighted, I realized I was also lightheaded and cold, and upon getting home was fucking exhausted because my body was, you know, panicking in the way that bodies do when they've been injured. on one level I understand that this is something I explicitly sought out, asked for, and paid for the privilege; on another level, my body thinks a trauma happened.

so, let's talk about what's happening with you.

on one level, your exam was an appointment that you made, presumably, voluntarily, knowing full well that it might be uncomfortable and awkward but undergoing it willingly because you know that preventative care is important. even know telling me about it, you recognize that this was an objectively good and even comfortable experience and that you received good care from doctors that you like who answered your questions and gave you helpful information!

but on another level, what your body knows and is responding to is that you were in a new situation in which your body was subjected to examination and penetration that you're not accustomed to, in a way that may have caused aches and pains you've never experienced before. pretty understandably, your body is under the impression that something traumatic has occurred.

the reactions you're describing - feeling alienated from your vagina, not wanting to see your own body - are often described by people who have survived sexual assault; it's a coping mechanism to distance yourself from the site of your pain. likewise, wanting to avoid going back to the physical place where the discomfort occurred is understandable - it's not rational, but who cares? feelings rarely are; you still have to deal with them anyway. it's completely understandable why you would subconsciously want to avoid going back.

it is very important to me to say this: it's absolutely fine that you are reacting this way. you're not being unreasonable or immature or overreacting or anything else; this is not your fault and you have nothing to blame yourself for or to apologize for. we're going to feel these feelings and be observant and respectful, and feel them without shame rather than try to bottle them up and ignore them. give yourself the space to feel discomfort and be kind to yourself while you work through it.

you've said that this has largely passed, save for the urge to book your next appointment elsewhere. I'm glad this isn't an ongoing source of daily unpleasantness, but it is very much something to be aware of for the future. some people, for various reasons, need to plan for some extra-strength gentleness and self-care around their pelvic exams and pap smears, and if you're one of those people then that's fine! and very good to know!

it's useful information to have for the future, and I hope that next time you're due for such an appointment you can a.) arrange to do whatever makes you feel most cared for afterwards (for some people it's netflix and a bubble bath, for others it's rock climbing, chase your bliss) and b.) stay in touch with the healthcare providers who gave you such excellent service this time. as intimidating as it can be to bring up concerns, it sounds like you were lucky enough to have a lovely bunch, and it sounds like asking them for any extra accommodations you may need to help put you at ease and keep the procedure as quick and painless as possible will be received well.

those accommodations can also look like a lot of different things. the first time I got a pap smear I prefaced the exam by letting my gyno know that it was my first time, penetration isn't pleasant for me, and that I'd likely swear a lot throughout; she was an angel about it. at my most recent exam I was having a rough time and asked for a break, which my (very cute, very gay, god what a weird way to meet a woman) gyno was happy to provide; she removed the speculum and I did some centering breathing until I felt good to finish up.

so, to answer your questions a little more neatly: yes, this is a thing other people experience for a variety of reasons, especially when their body thinks it's been hurt - which, in a way, you were, because your body is very good at being a body but not always great at nuance.

I think it's a little of column a, little of column b, in regards to your second question. maybe there is a part of your brain that will never feel fully at ease with this kind of vulnerability, but you can certainly help it feel safe and cared for as much as possible. I hope that having a little insight into why can help you do that.