#next chapter for this in my drafts is called ‘date night’ so something to look forward to LOL

[clockwork-ashes]

All You Have Is Your Fire - Part XX

Find all previous parts on Ao3 :)

Summary: 'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' For the briefest of moments, Lucien wondered if his mate would know exactly when his heart’s steady rhythm came to a sudden stop.

Note: A huge thank you to the lovely @sad-scarred-sassy who deserves all the credit for the post that inspired me to start writing this :) Another huge thank you to everyone reading! ALSO please look at this post, I gasped it's so lovely. All of @teddyhoneybear's moodboards are stunning <3

Tag List: @anishake / @nocasdatsgay / @mybestfriendmademe / @talibunny30 / @halfbutneverwhole / @wishfulimaginings / @goldenmagnolias / @emmers-bens123 / @cauldronblssd / @xirose / @rarephloxes / @thehighlordishere / @the-darkestminds /

The lovely hand-held mirror fell from Lucien’s small fingers, the emeralds on the hilt flashing in the torchlight as it crashed to the stone floors. 

Shattered. 

The pieces of glass around his booted feet winked as he looked down at them. He felt tears burning suddenly behind his eyes, and he swallowed, fighting back a sob with great effort. 

Lucien might have been young, but he knew what it meant to break a mirror. Seventy years of misfortune, he recalled, breathing in sharply at the memory of his older brothers telling him as much. 

He took a quick step back, hearing a crunch that set his heart beating at a faster pace. His parents would not be happy with him, he thought, his father most of all. He had been strictly forbidden from going into their shared chambers, but Lucien cared very little for rules, especially as they usually did not apply to him. 

Some of his older brothers called him spoiled, mother’s favourite, without responsibilities. His other brothers called him lucky, allowed to do as he pleased, and able to get out of trouble and avoid father’s moods with the flash of an embarrassed smile. 

Small for his age, and mostly left alone, Lucien found himself panicking at the thought that either of his parents might be disappointed. 

He focused on the mess he had made, pushing all thoughts of misfortune from his mind and bringing his magic to the tips of his fingers. A flash of golden light cleaned up all the small pieces, the dusting of crushed mirror around his feet disappearing quickly, but he struggled to do the same with the large shards of glass. 

Lucien rushed to pick them up, carelessly grabbing the last one, hissing in pain and nearly dropping it. He had cut his hand, feeling as though his bad luck had already begun. 

Lucien’s hand was still bleeding, tears streaking down his face, as he knocked frantically on his eldest brother’s bedroom door. He had managed to clean up all the mirror pieces, had thrown away all the glass and taken the frame to hide in his closet, but the handkerchief he held to his palm had turned scarlet. 

Lucien heard footsteps on the other side of the oak door and sighed in relief knowing that Eris was home. He trusted his eldest brother more than anyone and knew that he would not tell the others about the broken mirror. 

As the door swung open, the hinges screaming, Lucien threw himself into the room. Clinging to Eris’ leg, he sobbed once and choked as he held back more tears.

“What’s happened?” Eris snapped, voice angry, a concerned edge to it. He placed a gentle hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, a sharp contrast to the tone he used. “Lucien, what’s wrong?” 

With wide eyes, Lucien tilted his neck all the way back to look up at him. “I broke mama’s mirror,” he admitted. He held tightly to the fabric he had quickly wrapped around his palm, pulling away from Eris to show him the blood. 

Eris seemed to relax slightly, shoulders no longer tense, as he knelt down to Lucien’s height. He hummed in response, “Causing trouble now that mother and father are in Spring?” 

“I didn’t mean to,” Lucien rushed to explain as Eris used magic effortlessly to have a damp cloth appear in his large hand. “I was just—”

Eris wiped the tears from Lucien’s cheeks gently, pushing back loose curls as he did so. “You’re not supposed to go in there,” he interrupted.

“I know, I know,” Lucien hoped Eris was not disappointed. “I was just so bored and didn’t want to bother the others,” he admitted in a mumble. 

Eris sighed, the torches growing brighter. “Let me see the cut.” 

Lucien placed his small hand into Eris’s much larger one. Cringing as his older brother pulled away the fabric, clenching his eyes shut tightly in worry. 

“Open your eyes, Lucien,” Eris said, amusement lining the words. When he was met with a nervous shake of Lucien’s head, he repeated himself, tone softer this time. 

Lucien opened one, just a slit to peek through. He saw Eris raise an auburn brow, encouraging him to look at the cut. “Oh,” he breathed, witnessing with great interest as the skin knit itself back together. 

“Grandmother was from Xian before she came to Autumn,” Eris said, and Lucien wondered if he was about to tell a story. Eris was not the best storyteller in their family, but with the Lady of Autumn in Spring and Callum at the war camps near the Winter border, Lucien figured Eris would be good enough in their absence. “Faeries would arrive to her on death’s door, and with a small wave of her hand she would send them on their way, better than before,” he continued. “She could heal anything.”

“Anything?” Lucien asked rather sceptically. He was finding it hard to believe since he had never met the female. The Lady of Autumn had no family, and he knew from those at court that they had all been killed in the war with Hybern. 

Eris nodded, the short strands of hair by his shoulders looking like copper in the dim light of the room. “Anything but a broken heart, they say.” 

At his older brother’s words, Lucien remembered the mirror. “Eris, I’ve been cursed,” he felt his lip quivering and he bit the inside of his cheek to make it stop. He tugged on the expensive fabric of Eris’ coat with his healed hand.

“By who?” Eris asked, although Lucien could tell he did not quite believe his claim. 

“I broke a mirror,” he said softly. “That’s seventy years of misfortune, remember?” 

He watched as Eris flashed him a small smile. Rare as a red moon, Lucien always felt a strange sense of triumph when he got his eldest brother to smile. Ruffling his hair, Eris reassured him. “Those are just ridiculous stories that mothers tell their sons so they won’t go on breaking their mirrors.” 

When Jesminda had been killed, Lucien’s thoughts had returned to that day. For whatever reason, he continued to reflect on the distant memory as he walked towards his father’s study. 

Lucien had woken up to find Elain pressed against him, and when he went to move, it only seemed to encourage her to hold onto his arm. Her hair had been fanned across the pillows, curls covering her eyes. She had made a soft noise as he had shifted. He had been torn between staying with her, or obeying his father’s order from the day before. 

In the end, he had simply left Elain a note, the pull of the bond a steady ache as he had cast a final glance in her direction and had shut the door to their shared suite. 

Lucien was dragged out of his memories and any thoughts of his mate by the sound of wood crashing against stone. He had been so absorbed by his own past, that he failed to realise just how close he had gotten to the High Lord’s study. 

Lucien paused as Eris walked past the stone arch, slamming the door behind him, embers falling to the ground like leaves on a rough wind. He leaned heavily against the wall for a moment in defeat, and Lucien thought he must be truly distracted to have not yet noticed a grown male standing mere steps away. 

The iron scent of blood had Lucien wincing as he watched Eris drag a beringed hand across his mouth, a scarlet streak cutting across the pale skin of his cheek. 

“Eris, what happened?” Lucien asked softly, not wanting to draw their father’s attention. 

At the question, Eris stiffened, shoulders drawn back, he shook his head. “Nothing,” he snapped. 

Lucien waved a hand in his brother’s direction, raising a sarcastic brow in response. “Really?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” Eris said with a scowl as blood dripped from the corner of his mouth, staining the white collar of his shirt. He moved to shove past Lucien, but was met with an arm blocking his path. 

“You alright?” Lucien questioned, frowning at the shock that briefly flashed in his brother’s eyes. He wondered at the last time someone had cared to ask Eris such a thing. 

Lucien felt as the tense muscles beneath his grip loosened at the words. Their eyes met, and golden flames dimmed, returning to a sharp amber. The loud click his own eye made was thunderous in the heavy silence. 

Eris nodded once, dipping his chin, gazes locked. “I’m fine,” he offered. “Nothing you need to worry about.” He had never sounded more ancient. 

Lucien did not believe him, but he was not going to argue. Letting his hand fall to the side, Lucien turned to watch Eris walk away, but his older brother did not look back before he winnowed from the hall, the torches flaring with the burst of magic. 

Lucien stared at the empty space for a moment, deciding he would ask Elain to check on him. They seemed to be getting along well, and he figured she might have an easier time pulling the truth from him. He quickly pushed all thoughts of Eris aside and focused once more on the task at hand. 

As he approached the door to his father’s study, Lucien took a steadying breath. Just as he could feel panic crawling up his spine, he was surprised at the wave of calm that crashed over him. From the golden thread at his rib, it slowly fanned outwards, a comfort. 

Lucien raised his fist, knocking three times, listening carefully for the response on the other side. 

“Come,” his father’s low voice responded, muffled by the thick oak. The door opened easily on a phantom wind, noiseless. 

Lucien bowed at the waist as soon he entered, the movement practised, respect in the face of the High Lord before him. Beron nodded in acceptance, setting aside the old looking parchment in his hands. He took off a pair of gold rimmed glasses and placed them on the hand drawn maps he had laid out on the desk. 

“Good morning, Lucien.” He tilted his head to the chair on the other side of the large desk. 

Lucien was glad for the obstacle between them, the little bit of distance. “Father,” he said, watching for any reaction from the male in front of him. 

“I hope the time you and your mate have spent in our court has been enjoyable.” His expression was serious, a neutral mask with no cracks. 

Lucien nodded, keeping his answer short. “Yes, thank you.” 

Beron hummed in response. “I have not seen your mate in the gardens again,” he observed. 

Lucien nearly snarled that Elain would not be returning to the courtyard, but he pushed down the initial instinct. Instead he frowned, “I asked her not to go again, so as not to disturb you, father.” The last word fell like a stone between them, accusing. 

An emotion flashed in Beron’s dark eyes, looking to Lucien very much like regret. “She’s a nice girl,” he shrugged, the action smooth. “You and Elain Archeron are a good match.” 

Perhaps if his father had suggested as much a few days ago, Lucien would have had to fight back a wince. Now that trust had slowly bloomed between Elain and him, an honest friendship growing, he could only nod. 

They looked at each other a moment, Lucien searching the harsh lines of his father’s face as he had done countless times as a child. They had not looked alike then, his mother’s son in appearance and never in a position to contend for Autumn’s throne. 

Beron sighed as his eyes fell to the scar that slashed across Lucien’s face. “I had wanted to go over some of the wedding preparations with you, but I will unfortunately be occupied for the rest of the day.” Waving a hand in dismissal, he ended their conversation. “Find your mother, she can finalise everything with your mate.” 

Lucien felt numb, as though he had fallen through ice and been plunged into the waters beneath. There was one more week left before the wedding ceremony. He left the room, bowing slightly, mind elsewhere. He walked with slow steps back to the chambers he and Elain shared. 

Lucien turned his father’s words over and over in his mind, that Elain and him made a good match. He felt a pull towards her, wanted to be near her, and he wondered if it was the effects of the bond, or simply because he was drawn to Elain. 

You are mine, and I am yours. 

Lucien decided he needed a break from the Forest House, and he would ask to see if Elain would like to come with him. 

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER SEVEN

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @patscorner @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @h34rtsformilli @uconnpazzi @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @ch12334 @wbb4l (sorry about these ones that didn’t work ☹️) @yassedsblog @jissy22 @blank-blank80 @brynslverr @melinaaa3 @alex-1347 @lolbods @girlypop05

kalena speakss 🪽! this is a filler chapter, everything starts to ramp up and get more messy (as if it isn’t already) starting next chapter ;)

June 2025 — New York City, New York

“Don’t even bring that up, oh my God.” Rickea laughs, reaching one of her long arms over to slap at my knee.

Rickea, Cameron, and I sit soundly in the green room, makeup placed deliberately on our faces. We played the Liberty last night, in a game with an outcome I would rather forget than talk about.

But today, after the team hopped on the first charter back to LA, we had a date with GQ. They called it The Teammates Quiz, and we were given the honor of being the first women’s sports team with the opportunity. I thought it was a cool idea, a game that I would certainly win because I know my teammates well.

However, it seems like these two know me just as well because they are airing my business out to everybody in this room right now. Well, maybe not all of it, but close enough. 

“Kea, you fell on your face in the middle of downtown LA. I’m with P, I’m so bringing it up.” Cameron laughs.

“I was drunk!”

“You were more sober than P. And she drinks like a man going through a divorce.” I instantly pull back from my makeup artist, looking over at my teammate incredulously.

“I do not!” I attempt to defend. “You two insisted on buying drinks after the draft, not me.”

Cameron, who’s seconds away from bursting out in tears of laughter, speaks up through her ragged breaths. “You got so drunk you were making out with random girls in the club.”

“Least I ain’t fall on concrete in the middle of LA.” I laugh, sitting back in my seat and allowing Joanna to get back to doing my makeup. I let her and Brittany take control of my look, they know best after all. 

You would think with the way the three of us all talk to each other that our on court chemistry is terrible, but it’s the complete opposite. Probably why GQ asked us to do this little segment today. I cut my attention back to my teammates when Rickea’s voice cuts through the air again.

“Have you talked to Raye lately?”

The way she asks it seems skeptical. Like she knows something, or is suspicious of something and I can’t pick up why. We’ve been keeping our friendship pretty cordial— at least to our friends and in public.

Maybe Maraye told her about the kiss. Maybe Maraye told her literally nothing, and Rickea is just trying to pry as she does often.

“Uh yeah, we hung out a few nights ago.” I respond, so lucky that Joanne is angling my head in the opposite direction, successfully hiding my growing red face from my teammates. “She’s pretty cool.”

Which isn’t a lie, we did hang out a few nights ago. Only my lips start tingling whenever I think about it. I swear I can taste her still on them all these hours later; like a mix of every single dessert on the planet. So damn sweet. I wonder if she always tasted like that, or if she tasted different elsewhere. 

And yes, Maraye is pretty cool. Pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty talented, pretty. So fucking pretty.

I’m realizing now that three days has been too damn long. To see her damn near everyday, then not at all for a week, then again in which I end up with my tongue down her throat. To not have been within inches of her for 72 fucking hours has me going just a bit crazy.

“I didn’t know y’all were hanging out.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to tell you that.” I fire back too quickly. It makes it seem defensive, and it’s not. I have nothing to hide. 

Well yeah I do, but I think I’m pretty good at hiding it.

“Paige.” Cam says, cutting into the conversation awkwardly. “Please don’t tell me you did something stupid.”

I slouch back in my seat and Brittany, who I swore just magically spawned behind me, slaps my shoulder telling me to sit up. “I didn’t! You guys can’t ever just trust me.” I laugh.

“‘Cause you get caught doing stupid shit!” Rickea explains.

“Caught?”

“Caught? Again?”

“You haven’t seen twitter?”

Those four words always make my heart beat out of my chest. The internet is cool when it comes to me, out of pocket sure, but cool. But on the off occasion that they aren’t, it’s because they are either making shitty posts about what i’m doing on the court, writing think pieces, or minding my business rather than their own. I’m assuming, in context to Maraye, that it’s the latter.

“The fuck happened this time.” I ask with a huff. The first time, I had gotten too comfortable at the club. Which was admittedly my own drunken fault. The second time I was trending because people swore up and down I was making goo-goo eyes at Taylor Rooks. Which I was, she’s absolutely unreal. And now here we are.

Cameron is the one who looks first, and by the look of her face I assume it’s pretty telling. Rickea hands me her phone. I take it, slightly shaking and I don’t know why. 

My eyes are stuck to the screen, and it’s four pictures. I’m not sure who took them, but Maraye has reached A-list status and I forget the Paps are everywhere when it comes to her. 

The first is us leaving the bar in Atlanta. Maraye’s head isn’t in the shot, she’s busy hopping into the backseat of our uber, but mine is. It’s very obviously me, my signature braids down the side of my face rather than in the usual ponytail. My hand is stuck comfortably in the pocket of my zip up while the other holds the door open for her.

The second photo is from when we’re seated at Waffle house. I’m showing all 32 while Maraye talks, and it makes us look like a fucking couple. Her arms rest on the table, head slightly tilted. From the angle, again, you can’t see all her face but her side profile is obvious. Anyone could point it out and recognize her.

But it’s the last two that make us look the most guilty. My arm draped over her shoulder is very incriminating. She held her pink lemonade flavored slushee in her hand, looking up at me. One more swipe and I’m looking at myself paying for those two slushee’s. It doesn’t help that my jacket from earlier that night is now zipped up over her body. 

‘Paige Bueckers and Maraye Carter in atl this weekend 😲’  Reads the tweet. It’s messy, even more when I scroll further and see people putting pieces together. The replies are full of videos from opening night, screenshots of my recent activity in her instagram likes, and of course, of course, someone had to have seen me in my seat at her concert.

It looks bad. I would say worse than it is, but it all doesn’t even scratch the surface. 

“We just friends.” I mumble, I wouldn’t be surprised if my nose grew a centimeter or two. “Y’know how people get.”

I hand Rickea her phone back. She’s the one I should be scared off, Cameron has been done with my relationship issues since I first met her as kids. But Kea? After the talk about leaving Maraye alone, and how I know better, and how I don’t need to get hurt. I’m terrified that I’m about to get caught.

“Has she seen these?”

“Ion know.” She responded. “Probably. But If you two are jus’ friends’, then don’t sweat it. Hollywood moves fast.”

Really fast. 

—

June 2025 — Los Angeles, California 

“You’re literally a fan, shut up.” I joke at the blonde sitting besides me.

She’s messily scarfing down her chipotle bowl as we sit in her car. The windows are tinted nicely and my album shuffles through her speakers, even though she swears up and down that she didn’t add it to her library.

“Am not.”

“Yeah yeah, pinocchio.”

It’s my first time seeing her since the night in my condo, and it’s awkward. Which is weird because Paige and I have never been awkward together. Everything was always smooth, fluid, when it came to her. But now I don’t know what to say.

I blame it on the kiss.

It should’ve never happened. She knows that, I know that. Even then I don’t regret it. 

I’ve never in my life had feelings for a woman before, until now. And it’s so weird because I think I still have feelings for Julian too. It’s not the same thing though. Julian is perfect for me. Good job, family man, tall, handsome, the most gorgeous and perfect curly hair I’ve ever seen. Then there’s Paige, and she just might be perfect for me too. Work oriented, funny, insanely smart even though I tell her she’s not. 

So I sit silent in her passenger seat, not a clue in the world of what I should say to her. She makes me nervous, she makes the bottom of my stomach twist up whenever I look at her and see those beautiful blue eyes. I shouldn’t feel that way, I know that. But damn does she make it hard.

“Maraye?”

“Yeah?”

Paige chuckles, reaching over to wipe a bit of Vinaigrette from my lip. “I said ‘you good?’”

I nod and my head moves slightly away from her reach. “Yeah. Why?” I ask, taking a generous bit from my burrito.

“Because you’re sittin’ there all quiet.” She explains. “I know we kissed and all that but I ain’t think you would stop bein’ cool around me.” She says in an attempt to ease the atmosphere, the obvious tension that bounces off walls.

“It’s not that.” I mumble.

She puts the lid on her bowl, reaching towards the back seat to drop the trash in the brown chipotle bag. When she turns back to face me, I get a great look at her for the first time all night. Her hair is in a messy bun, strands slightly framing her face.

“Then what is it, Raye?” Paige slouches in the seat. “‘Cause don’t get me wrong, I feel some typa way about you but we’re friends first—”

“I wanna kiss you again.” I blurt out. It’s word vomit, like I can’t help but tell her how badly I want her lips on mine and her tongue in my mouth. Hands on my waist, my ass, in my hair. 

She laughs, and I pray to God she’s not laughing at me. “That’s why you can’t talk to me anymore?”

“I wanna kiss you, but I know how wrong that is. I have a boyfriend, and everyone already thinks something is going on here.” My finger gestures between the both of us.

“You saw the pictures?” Paige cuts me off. Her hand slips forward to grab her phone.

“Did you?”

“Kea showed me them yesterday.”

We sit in silence. I’m trying to process her response. 

“Did, uh, did Julian see them?” She asks.

Shit. Julian. It seems like I’m constantly forgetting about him whenever I’m with her. Always. I’m such a fucking asshole. 

“No, I-I didn’t show him. I don’t think I needed to.” I explain through my stutter. He didn’t need to see them. One, because it wasn’t anything serious. The photos made Paige and I look bad, sure, but there was nothing to worry about. It would only make me and him argue, and we do enough of that already.

“Good.” She nods. “He probably shouldn’t anyway.”

“Yeah.”

“Y’know I really wanna kiss you too.” Paige says. I thought that was it. The kiss happened once, and we were back to being friends. Being normal.

“Paige—”

“I can’t stop thinkin’ about it.”

“P, quit it.”

“I keep thinking about how you taste. Like all day. And I shouldn’t, I know that, but you make it fuckin’ impossible.” The blonde sighs. Her eyes fall shut like it’s painful, painful to not kiss me. 

I shake my head, hoping that it’s enough for her to stop talking about it. “Paige, you and I are friends. That’s it. I have a boyfriend, and you’re not a home wrecker. We aren’t doing that again.”

She goes quiet. Then her eyes open and she turns back towards the wheel. It’s 10:30 at night and she has a game in the morning. Paige’s hips raise slightly to fix her sweatpants. A pulse races through me when it happens. 

“You understand? We can’t.” I ask, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah. Yeah, just friends.” Paige says.

I want to believe her. I really do. But the look in her eyes tells me I shouldn’t. Those blue orbs I know so well are suddenly a deep color, pupils wide. She slightly bites the corner of her lip, staring at me like I could run away.

“Stop looking at me like that.” I push at her shoulder, a chuckle escaping my lips. “I’m serious. No kissing, no flirting. I’m not a cheater, P. This shouldn’t have happened.”

“I know, I know. I won’t.” She responds. “But if it happens?” Paige leans into me again. Her hand flicking a curl away from my face before playing with it. She stares at me with intensity.

“It won’t.”

“If it does, I’m not apologizing for it.”

And then she pulls back, sitting in her seat and pulling her seatbelt over her body. She turns the engine on without even a second thought.

I sit there speechless, burrito growing cold between my hands. And I know, without a doubt, no matter how badly I want to hold out and follow through on my promise.

Paige is dangerous, and I don’t think I have it in me.

She’s gonna win. Again.

[jetii]

Upcoming Release Schedule

We’re about to reach the end of my last schedule, so I thought I'd go ahead and create a new list with what I'm working on. Below is a look ahead at the fics I have drafted and waiting to post. Feel free to send me an ask if you'd like to preview a snippet or know more about any of these. 💙

Chapters of Event Horizon, my Rex x Jedi!Reader longfic, are posted on Fridays. Requests are posted as I complete them.

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Key: ✧ smut | ꥟ angst | ✵ fluff, etc.

Upcoming Fics:

A Little Fun (Echo x fem!Reader) ✵✧ Out now! Read it here.

Summary: There's something between you and Echo, but despite your best efforts, he's yet to make a move. A night out at 79s changes everything. Words: 15k+

Few Fates Worse Than Death (Wrecker x Jedi!Reader) ꥟✵

Summary: You refused to believe that Wrecker would ever hurt you, but on Bracca, his nightmare finally comes true. Words: 8k+

In Parallel (part of the Tech x Sarad series) ✵✧

Summary: It's been over a week since Sarad has returned, and Tech is eager for some time alone to reconnect uninterrupted. If only the universe was so kind. Words: 5k+

Too Sweet (Fox x Doctor!Reader) ✵

Summary: Fox has no time for romance. He doesn't even have time for sleep, let alone dates. But when a horrible day at work leads him to you, he suddenly finds himself in danger of reevaluating his priorities. Words: 10k+

By Your Name (Wrecker x Jedi!Reader) ꥟ By Your Name part 2 (Wrecker x Jedi!Reader) ✵✧

Summary: Ever since you were assigned to the squad, Wrecker has delighted in calling you pet names in Mando'a — ana'dee, cyar'ika, mesh'la, the list goes on. Little does he know, you understand every single one of them, and it's starting to become a problem. Words: 15k+

Secrets (Cody x fem!Reader) ✵✧

Summary: After a long month apart, Cody is finally on his way home to you. And he's not going to let anything stop him from telling you how he feels. Words: 11k+

Thief (Tech x Jedi!Reader) ✧

Summary: You catch Tech stealing your lightsaber, unwittingly starting a game between you that quickly escalates out of control. Words: 10k+

Casual (Crosshair x fem!Reader) ꥟✧

Summary: You've always known what this thing between you and Crosshair is, but it hasn't stopped you from hoping he'll realize he wants the same. Words: 10k+

Ad Infinitum (part of the Tech x Sarad series) ✵

Summary: After much prodding from Crosshair and the rest of his family, Tech decides to finally propose to Sarad. Words: 5k+

The One that Got Away (Fives x Jedi!Reader) ✵✧

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[ilovemilestellersmoustache]

Lost In Translation Pt 1

Summary: Senior year takes a toll on Trevor and Y/N, university applications, the NHL draft and what their plans are for the future. All the arguing leads to certain decisions that either make or break them.

WC: 1.7K

Senior year. It was supposed to be the final chapter of high school, the time when everything came together—friends, college applications, sports, love. But for Trevor, everything felt like it was slowly unraveling. The weight of his future and his crumbling relationship with Y/N pressed down on him with a force that left him suffocating. He had dreamed of making it to the NHL his whole life, but now, standing on the edge of his senior year, that dream felt like it was slipping out of reach.

And then there was Y/N.

They had been dating for two years, a whirlwind romance that had once seemed untouchable. Trevor and Y/N were the couple everyone envied. She was smart, funny, always understanding of his hockey schedule, and she had her own ambitions, too—dreams of leaving their small town and studying at a university in another state. But now, in their final year, the future loomed over them like a storm cloud. They were headed in different directions, and no amount of pretending could change that.

The arguments started off small. At first, it was about Trevor missing dinner dates because of hockey practice or being too exhausted to hang out after games. Y/N would say something sarcastic, and Trevor would brush it off, but the tension grew with every passing week.

“You’re not even here anymore,” Y/N had said one night after he’d canceled another movie night to stay late at the rink. Her eyes were filled with disappointment, but also something else—something darker that made Trevor’s chest tighten. “All you care about is hockey.”

“That’s not fair,” Trevor had shot back, slamming his gear bag onto the floor. “This is my dream, Y/N. You knew that from the start.”

“And what about us?” she countered. “We can’t even have a conversation without you bringing up scouts or practices. I’m trying to make plans for the future, too, but I can’t do that if you’re not even trying to meet me halfway.”

It was the same fight, repeated in different words, different scenarios. They were both frustrated, both feeling the pressure of what was coming next, and neither of them knew how to handle it.

Then came the night that changed everything.

Trevor had just finished a grueling practice when his teammates suggested they hit up a party. He hesitated, knowing Y/N wasn’t thrilled with him partying so much lately, especially without her, but he needed a break. He needed to forget about the scouts, the pressure, the fights. So, he went. One drink turned into two, then five. Before he knew it, he was a mess of alcohol and bad decisions.

That’s when he met Chloe.

She was someone’s friend from another school—blonde, tall, and flirtatious. Trevor wasn’t interested in her. Not really. He loved Y/N, despite their fights, despite the distance that had been growing between them. But as the night wore on and his teammates nudged him toward Chloe, he found himself too drunk to resist the distraction. They laughed about something stupid, her hand brushing his arm, and in a moment of weakness, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close for a picture that someone snapped on their phone.

The next morning, Trevor woke up with a pounding headache and a pit of guilt in his stomach. He hadn’t done anything—he hadn’t kissed Chloe or gone any further—but the fact that he had even let it get that far made him sick. He grabbed his phone and checked his notifications.

One story stood out.

The picture.

It was of him and Chloe. He stared at it for what felt like an eternity, the caption someone had written: "Ain’t that Y/N’s boy?"

His heart dropped. He knew Y/N would see it. He knew what it looked like, what people would say. The damage was done.

He tried calling her, but she didn’t pick up. He texted, but no response. Hours turned into days, and he knew—deep down, he knew—things were over.

Three months passed.

Three months of radio silence from Y/N. Three months of training, preparing for scouts, and trying to bury the ache in his chest. He threw himself into hockey, determined to make it to the NHL, but no matter how hard he trained, no matter how many games he won, the empty space where Y/N had once been gnawed at him constantly.

He saw her around school, of course. She looked fine—maybe even happy—laughing with her friends, talking about college plans, as if the last two years meant nothing. It hurt more than he thought it would, but he couldn’t blame her. He had let her down, and now, she was moving on without him.

But Trevor wasn’t ready to give up. Not yet.

It was a Friday night, just a few weeks before graduation, and Trevor was sitting in his room, staring at the pile of college acceptance letters on his desk. He had been drafted, the one thing he had been working toward for years. But instead of feeling relief, all he felt was regret. The draft meant leaving for training camps, possibly in a different state or even country, and Y/N would be gone soon, too, heading to her dream university.

He couldn’t let it end like this.

Before he could second-guess himself, he grabbed his phone and typed out a message.

“Can we talk?”

He stared at the screen, heart pounding, waiting for those three little dots to appear.

After what felt like forever, they did.

“What’s there left to say?”

Trevor clenched his jaw, typing quickly before he could lose his nerve.

“I’m sorry. For everything. Can you please just meet me? One last time.”

There was a long pause, and then her reply came through.

“Fine. Tomorrow at the coffee shop.”

The next day, Trevor arrived early, his stomach in knots. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, only that he needed to see her, to try to fix things before it was too late.

When Y/N walked in, he nearly lost his breath. She looked beautiful, the same way she always did, but there was a coldness in her eyes that made his heart sink.

“Hey,” she said, sitting down across from him.

“Hey.” Trevor swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. “Thanks for meeting me.”

She shrugged. “Figured we should at least have some closure.”

Closure. The word hit him like a punch to the gut.

“Y/N, I—" He stopped, unsure of where to begin. “I screwed up. I know that. But I never meant to hurt you.”

She looked at him, her expression unreadable. “Trevor, we’ve been hurting each other for months. It’s not just about that picture, though that definitely didn’t help. It’s about everything—your dreams, my dreams. We’re going in completely different directions.”

“But that doesn’t mean we have to end things like this,” he said quickly, leaning forward. “I still love you. I’ve always loved you.”

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Trevor, love isn’t enough when everything else is falling apart. You’re going to the NHL. I’m going to be hours away at university. We’re not the same people we were when we started dating.”

“I know, but—”

“But what?” she cut him off, her voice sharper than he’d ever heard it. “Do you really think we can keep doing this? You’re going to be traveling all the time, training, playing games, and I’m going to be focused on school. We’ve barely survived senior year as it is.”

Trevor’s chest tightened. She was right. Every word she said was true. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were meant to be together, that they could find a way to make it work if they just tried harder.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

Y/N’s expression softened for the first time since they sat down, but there was still a sadness in her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you either, Trevor. But sometimes… sometimes love isn’t enough.”

She stood up, pulling her jacket tighter around her shoulders. “I think it’s best if we both move on. Focus on our futures.”

Trevor stood too, his heart pounding in his chest. “Is this really it?”

Y/N hesitated for a moment, as if she was considering something, but then she nodded. “Yeah. I think it is.”

She gave him one last, sad smile before turning and walking out of the coffee shop, leaving him standing there, feeling like the ground had just been ripped out from beneath him.

The months that followed were some of the hardest Trevor had ever faced. He threw himself into training for the NHL, traveling for rookie camps, and preparing for what was supposed to be the next chapter of his life. But no matter how far he went, no matter how many games he won, there was always a part of him that couldn’t let go of Y/N.

He heard through mutual friends that she was doing well at her university, making new friends, thriving in her classes. Trevor was happy for her—he really was—but it didn’t make the ache in his chest any easier to bear.

As the weeks turned into months, Trevor started to realize something. Maybe Y/N had been right. Maybe they were headed in different directions. But that didn’t mean he had to forget about everything they had shared. It didn’t mean he had to stop caring about her, or stop loving her.

Because no matter how much distance was between them, no matter how different their futures were, Y/N would always be a part of him. And maybe things could fix themself in the future

[cuttergauthier]

The Story Of Us

Kirby Dash x Female Strome Reader

Warning: Trade, Pregnancy, Fluff, Wedding

word count: 2.0k

This insta edit to Follow this pic.

let me know what you guys think🤍

The One Where He Gets Traded

I am currently in Kirby's home town, Kirby and I have been dating for 2 years now. I'm so glad my brother introduced us when Kirby first arrived in Chicago.

For the past 2 summers I've been coming to Kirby's hometown to spend time with him and his family.

It’s late in the afternoon, I am sitting outside on the porch swing reading a book, while Kirby was inside taking a phone call.

It is a beautiful sunny day. I am enjoying the sun shining on my face.

I heard the door open and closed. I looked up to see Kirby making his way to me. He looked stressed so I put my book down. He sat down next to me and let out a breath. 

I put my hand on his shoulder, looking at him worried.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“Not really,” he sighed. He was looking at the lake. I put my hands on his cheeks and turned his face to look at me.

“What’s going on Kirby?” I asked. He started to worry me, did something happen? Is he going to break up with me? Is he going to tell me to go home?

I sighed before putting his hand on my right thigh. 

“I just got off the phone with my agent… I got traded” he said. My eyes widened. Oh my god.

“I’m so sorry Kirby… where are you going?” I asked. Is he going to break up with me now? I the aren’t going to be in the same city anymore. Is he going to ask me to go with him?

“Montreal, they’re going to announce it tonight at the draft.” He said

“Oh kirbs, it’s going to be okay” I said, he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. I laid my head down on his shoulder.

“What’s going to happen to us?” I asked

He sighed before kissing my forehead.

“I was hoping maybe you would come with me? But if you don’t want to i totally understand, we could always do long distance, all i know is i don’t want to break up.” He said, I smiled softly at him before I raised my head and kissed his cheek.

“I would love to go with you Kirby” I said, his eyes widened.

“Really?” 

“Of course, i love you, i don’t want us to be living in 2 different countries” i said

“I love you so much,” he said, smiling.

“I love you too, here’s to a new chapter in our lives” I said happily 

“I can’t wait to do it with you,” he said smiling.

The One Where He Proposes

Kirby and I have been living in Montreal for the past five months, it’s now the all star break. We have been dating for three years. I couldn’t be happier, as much as I miss Chicago, Montreal is amazing.

My brother Dylan is now in Washington, Chicago ended up trading him also.

Thankfully none of my brothers made the all star team so we all decided to go on vacation together to Hawaii. I've always wanted to come here, it’s absolutely beautiful.

Tonight is our last night here so Kirby said he wanted to take me out on a date so I am currently getting ready. 

I decided to wear a beautiful knee length silky pink dress. I curled my hair and put on some mascara, I didn’t feel like doing my full makeup since we are on vacation.

Once I was done getting ready I left the bathroom to see Kirby sitting on the bed scrolling on his phone. When he heard me he looked up and smiled.

“You are absolutely gorgeous,” he said.

“Thank you, you look handsome yourself,” I said.

“Are you ready?” he asked. I nodded. 

He got up, put his phone in his pocket and took my hand. We made our way to the restaurant.

The food was delicious, we talked and laughed the whole time.

When we left the restaurant Kirby looked at me and smiled, the sun was about to set.

“You want to go for a walk and watch the sunset?�� He asked.

I smiled.

“I would love to” 

We walked to the beach which was only like 5 minutes. When we got there we took off our shoes and left them on the sand before we started walking by the water to watch the sunset. 

I kept looking at the sky. It was stunning, it took me a few seconds to realize that Kirby wasn’t next to me. 

I turned around to see where he went only to find him down on 1 knee with a ring in his hand. 

“Oh my god” I said shocked, My hands went to my mouth.

Kirby smiled.

“Yn you have made me the happiest man alive, you have been by my side for the past 3 years, i love you more than you’ll ever know, i want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?” He asked. My hands are shaking, and tears are rolling down my cheeks.

I started nodding.

“Yes, yes” I said shakily. 

He put the ring on my finger and pulled me in a kiss.

“I love you so much” i said

“I love you more” he said 

We heard cheering behind us. I turned around to see my brother and their wives along with my 2 nieces.

They all congratulated us.

I couldn’t be happier.

The One Where She Finds Out They're Pregnant

Kirby and i have been married for 4 months now and we have been trying for a baby for the past 2 months 

We had no luck.

I woke up a little later than usual, Kirby was already gone for morning practice. I got out of bed and put on a hoodie since it was chilly this morning. 

I went to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. Kirby won’t be back for 2 hours since Morning practice just began.

I started cooking some eggs and the smell made me nauseous so I put it aside, turned off the burner and rushed to the bathroom to vomit.

Once I was done I brushed my teeth. My eyes widened when I thought about what could make me feel like this.

I rushed to grab my phone to check when my last period was. The last time I should have had it was last month when Kirby was on a road trip but I never did. How did I not realize before?

I rushed to our bedroom and changed into leggings and grabbed my purse and jacket before making my way out the door.

I rushed down the street from our apartment building. There was a small pharmacy.

I went in and bought two pregnancy tests. The cashier lady smiled when I paid and told me good luck. I thanked her and made my way back to the apartment.

My mind was going crazy, could I really be pregnant? Or am I just stressed?

I went straight to the bathroom to take both tests. Once I was done I washed my hands and put a timer on my phone for 5 minutes.

Kirby and I really want a kid, so I am really hoping that the test says positive.

When the five minutes were up, I took a deep breath and turned both tests around.

My hands flew to my mouth, tears started rolling down my cheeks. We are having a baby.

I couldn’t believe it.

I didn’t want to wait to tell Kirby I was pregnant but I also wanted to do something cute. Thankfully Emilia Armina  lives next door to us, and she has 1 kid so I thought I could possibly ask her if she still has baby stuff I could borrow just to put in a box and I could give Kirby once he got home. 

I got out and went to knock on her door.

She opened the door and saw I had been crying so she pulled me in a hug.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly.

I nodded

“Yes, sorry i didn’t mean to worry you, i um… just found out I’m pregnant, i was wondering if you still have a little onesie and baby skates i could borrow… I want to surprise Kirby as soon as he gets home and he’ll be here in less than an hour so I don't have time to go to the store but I want to do something cute… i’ll give them back afterwards, "I rambled. She smiled big and pulled me in another hug.

“Oh my god, Congrats! I know you guys have been waiting for this” she said.

“Thank you” 

“Come in, I'll go get the stuff, “ she said smiling.

I nodded. We went in and she made her way to another room. She came back with baby skates and a cute little white onesie.

“Here you go, Kirby’s going to be so excited,” she said.

“Thank you so much, I promise I'll bring it back tonight.” I told her.

“No rush, take your time, and congratulations again, you and Kirby are going to be amazing parents, '' she said, giving me one last hug before I made my way back to my place.

I hate an old box in my closet so I took it out and put the onesie and the baby skates in it along with both pregnancy tests. I left the box on the counter so I can give it to him when he gets home. In the meantime I went and cleaned the food i didn’t eat this morning and decided to eat a bowl of fruits instead.

Once I was done eating I went to put the bowl in the sink when I heard the front door open.

Kirby made his way to the kitchen, when he saw me he smiled before making his way to me.

“Hey babe,” he said before kissing my forehead.

“Hey kirbs, how was practice?” I asked.

“ Not too bad,” he said. He made his way to the fridge and got himself a bottle of water.

“ I have something for you,” I said nervously. He looked at me confused.

“You got me something?” He asked. I nodded and gave him the box.

He looked at me then the box.

He put it down on the counter and I went in front so I could see his face.

He slowly opened it. 

When he saw what was in the box he froze. I stood there nervously.

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

“Are you serious?” He choked out.

I nodded with tears in my eyes.

“Yes” 

“Oh my god” he rushed to me and pulled me in a hug

“We’re going to be parents” he said

“You’re going to be a dad” i said

“I love you, and I can't wait for the baby to be here,” he said smiling widely.

“I love you more,” I said before kissing him.

The One Where They're Baby Girl Is Born

My due date was supposed to be yesterday, but the baby decided he didn’t want to be born yet.

We decided to stay in Montreal for the summer since I was 8 months pregnant once the season ended.

My parents came down from Toronto, Kirby’s parents and brother also decided to come down. My brothers and their wives said they would be here today. Everyone wants to be here to meet our baby girl.

It’s now 5 p.m. and I finally started having contractions but they are far apart so I knew I still had time before we had to go to the hospital. My mom called my Ob to let her know, so she’d be prepared.

At around 7:30 p.m. they were much closer apart so Kirby took me to the hospital. Our parents said they would meet us there.

After what took forever at 10:45 p.m. our baby girl was born, she was precious.

I’m holding her in my arms while Kirby sits next to me on the bed.

“She’s the cutest baby ever” Kirby said in awe and kissed the side of my head.

“I’m so proud of you, thank you for making me a dad” he said with teary eyes.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, i love you both so much” I said

“I love you both, my two beautiful girls,” Kirby said smiling.

[raccoonfallsharder]

recommended works ⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

these are the folks who have written or drawn something (specifically within the rocket raccoon fan community) that either murdered me, resurrected me, or both.

(i am always open to recs so if you wanna link me to your fave i will be so happy to check them out)

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ fanfiction ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

The All of You (ao3) i fuckin love this story so hard. i love the OC. i love the writing. i love the set up. i reread this probably every month or so and pine for more. it's so fuckin good. @lazarel-3000 is a double-threat (at least) who is also on my recced artist list, which means (obviously) they are a recced creator as well.

Casino Royale (ao3) this fic by @hibatasblog (see also: Entanglement, below) is so fucking delightful. petra quill is so hot i want to date her myself, and the tension between her and rocket is through the roof. loving the angst, loving the little ways that heartbreak seeps through every new paragraph, loving the mystery of trying to figure out what happened to petra and rocket to set them on their separate paths and now bring them back together. always waiting anxiously for the next chapter.

Entanglement (ao3) this fic by @hibataao3 has me rationing my consumption in a way i have not done in a long time. i'm like "i only read one chapter a week to pace myself, as a little treat for surviving another seven days." beautiful writing and intricate storytelling, the metaphors and analogies are so good i almost wish i was back in undergrad writing a thesis on it.

Friends (tumblr) @nyxivy is making their way through the rocketober 2023 prompts and the first fic of the series is. so drool-worthy. i've probably read it fifty times since it came out. short and so hot i could die (much like rocket himself), and somehow incredibly sweet in just the span of a few paragraphs? i will continue coming back to this fic and look forward to more from them at every chance i get.

Get Up (tumblr)@caesarhamato22 is another person on my recced creator list because trying to find just one fic to call my "favorite" is a challenge (obviously i was unsuccessful because there are two on this list). anyway this is lovely and fluffy. i die.

last (friday) night (ao3) nsfw. trying to pick a "favorite" of @aliasrocket's work is like trying to choose a favorite incarnation of rocket (i cannot). guess who is also on my recced creators list.

more than seven (tumblr) second @caesarhamato22 fic on this list and another recced creator. this one is one of my favorite comfort fics (i mean it's still sexy as hell) that i come back to very often. like it's just so wonderful and sweet and perfect and atmospheric and vibes

stars. (tumblr) ☕︎ stars. (ao3) sexual tension & some of the loveliest atmospheric writing i've ever consumed. another @aliasrocket fic that lives in my head.

A Very Basic Instinct (tumblr) ☕︎ A Very Basic Instinct (ao3) nsfw. when i tell you this fic did things to me. it is probably one of the fics i reread most. like, all the time jkjk only semiregularly. check out the author @elegant-fleuret for other equally brainrot-inducing smut (also mentioned in my recced creators).

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ art ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

@bathmob i wish. i could draw rocket. like this. the vibes are so good. the style. is perfect. i thank the universe whenever i see new art from them.

@glow-autumz is absolutely going to be a published comic artist some day and i will buy anything she works on ever. literally everything she creates has a story behind it, which i love. like, not only are her illustrations gorgeous (and like…often very hot) but every single one is (at least) a single-panel narrative. plus her OC is also cool as hell and i love her interpretations of rocket.

@lazarel-3000 creates the most toe-curlingly delicious art i've seen in a long time. i am seduced by pretty much everything they create. even their rough drafts have me panting. (i also have a crush on their OC and as a bi-lady i look at their art and am often like oh shit this is a fuckin feast). as mentioned before, this artist is also the author of one of my favorite fics and is a recommended creator in general.

@uglly-rodent posts always make me want to pinch the babby raccoom's cheeks and/or cry.

⊹˚₊⊹˚☕︎ creators ☕︎˚⊹₊˚⊹

@aliasrocket writes such beautiful things it is impossible to pick a favorite (i got two of their fics in the fic section and it was difficult to narrow it down that far and even now, i'm not certain). their tumblr has the added advantage of a ton of drabbles, every single one of which is perfection.

@caesarhamato22 read everything. like everything. great smut but i am a sucker for the slice of life shit and it's so fuckin good here. i just wanna be a nail tech on knowhere/locked in a closet with rocket/have him steal my t-shirt/whatever. it's like all my most domestic desires got turned into little fanfiction dreams. so much wish fulfillment i could die

@elegant-fleuret has great fanfiction (more than just the one on my fic list - i just felt like i had to narrow it down and A Very Basic Instinct literally gives me a a fresh hit of dopamine every time i reread it, which is a lot). plus also art. double-threat.

@evolvingchaoswitch writes with a ton of vulnerability and rawness and angst. i am also in love with the shorter pieces they've been putting out for rocketober 2023 (some really great poetry, some really emotional oneshots, some really hot oneshots). plus their OCs always fuckin rock

@lazarel-3000 look. look. i cannot say this enough. please go check them out they are hope in a hopeless place. some of the sexiest art + one of my very favorite fanfictions + one of my very favorite OCs have come out of this flawless individual. (full disclosure they also did some nsfw art of my OC jolie and rocket that has me crying and dying and hyperventilating on a daily basis)

@love-for-faeries-go-burrrr has another one of my favorite OCs and i am always hungry for their little storylines whenever they post.

@mrwolfhare is one of my favorite sources of gotg food-for-thought. just some of the most thoughtful explorations of the details of both the mcu and comic canon, excellent headcanons, beautiful screenshot sets, and really solid art. the drawtober art and ficlets have been highlights in my days this month and i'm told there may be a rad fanfiction on the horizon so keep your eyes on this! (rad fanfiction is here now! read Subject 880HR on ao3)

[waitimcomingtoo]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~sixth chapter rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

Two months later, you sat outside The Daily Bugle and impatiently bounced your leg. While waiting to see if your boss liked your first draft of the Cleatus Kassidy article, you reflected on your past two months in New York.

It was now June. You and Venom had fallen into a routine. You’d work on the Cletus article by day and go patrolling at night. Of course, being Venom wasn’t a nightly occurrence. You’d only go out eating once or twice a week. Still, you managed to have 11 run ins with Spider-Man.

You and Peter had become significantly closer in that past two months as well. You’d help him with his homework, though you secretly thought he was smarter than you, and he helped me with your story. Some nights, he’d visit you on your fire escape and watch the sun go down. You had no idea how he got there, but you didn’t care.

You’d send him science puns while he was at school and he’d bring you food and keep you company when You had writers block. Your favorite was the long talks on the roof. You would sit there for hours and tell each other everything. You knew all his secrets and he knew yours.

Well, not all.

But the best part of all was that every now and then, you’d catch the other staring. Then, the other would stare back until someone, usually Peter, started to lean in. Every time you thought you were finally going to take the next step, something would interrupt you. Whether it was May knocking or Ned barging in or Peters phone ringing. That was another thing about Peter. His damn phone was always ringing and then he’d have to dash off somewhere, leaving you with a random excuse or something about an internship. Sometimes, you’d wish he’d just throw his phone aside and kiss you already.

“Great work so far, L/n.” Your boss tore you away from your thoughts. “I knew you’d be right for the job.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jameson.” You stammered as you stood up. “I really appreciate you giving me this job. I was kinda blackballed back in San Francisco.”

“I know.” He shrugged. “But you ask the hard hitting questions that people want to hear. Once this article is out, I want you to write one on Venom.”

“Venom?” You gulped at her name.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “You know that scary black monster that’s been fighting Spiderman? I’m thinking an exposé on that menace webhead and his latest enemy, and I think you’d be perfect for the job.”


“I would love to.” You said quickly. “I’ll start researching right away.”

With that, you turned on your heel and left the building before Venom caused a scene.

“Monster?” Venom roared once you got in your car. “Scary?”

“I know.” You whined. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was gonna call you that.”

“His whole job is reading about the most dangerous criminals in New York. If he thinks we’re scary, what’s Peter gonna think?” Venom asked. You laughed in dismissal until you thought about what he said.

What would Peter think? What if you told Peter who you really were and he ran away? He was sweet and understanding, but how understanding could he possibly be when you tell him you can turn into a flesh eating monster?

That’s when you realized you were scared. You were scared of letting Peter in and him letting himself right out. You were scared of repeating the mistakes you made with Andy. No, not scared.

Petrified.

What if Peter didn’t like what he saw? What if he realized you were too messy to be with? Or had too much baggage? Peter deserved a nice girl. One with a normal family and friends. One without depression. One without a flesh eating symbiote attached to their immune system.

“What’s wrong baby?” Venom asked with concern. She cuddled around your neck and nuzzled into your cheek.

“I can never be with Peter.” You whispered, mostly to yourself. Hot tears of frustration filled your eyes so you looked up to keep them from falling. Admitting it felt like a fatal blow to the stomach. Venom tied your hair up with one of her arms and wiped the tears from your face.

“Why do you say that?”

You thought about it for a moment before answering. You didn’t want to tell Venom that you were feeling insecure. She freaked out on you whenever you said something negative about yourself. You didn’t wanna another 100 slide PowerPoint titled “why Y/N L/N is the baddest bitch in the galaxy”. Especially since forty of those slides were just pictures of your butt. You appreciated Venom wanting to help but you were feeling the kind of insecure that a pep talk couldn’t fix. You needed to figure it out on your own. So instead, you told her a different fear you had.

“Because. Look at us. We’re the only thing keeping each other alive.” You reasoned. “What if we get separated and die? I can’t become one of those people in Peters life who loved him and then left him. His mom, his dad, his Uncle Ben. I don’t want to die and leave Peter behind. He’s been through enough. He’d be so much better off without me.”

“We’re not gonna die. You protect me and I protect you. Nothing will hurt us as long as we have each other.” Venom assured you.

“I can’t protect you like you protect me.” You said softly. “I’m just a human. What if something happens to me and you die because of it?”

“Nothing will happen to you, Y/N. I promise. I won’t let it.” Venom swore. You looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

“I won’t let anything happen to you either.” You said, but you didn’t promise it. You knew you couldn’t promise it.

“And you can be with Peter.” Venom insisted. “On Klyntar, we mate for life. And we think you’ve found your mate in Peter.”

“What does that mean?” You wondered.

“It means we’ve become attached to him and will never be happy with anyone else.” Venom said. You let out a shaky breath as that wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You needed a reason to shut your feelings for Peter down.

“Like soulmates?” You asked.

“Exactly like soulmates.” Venom answered.

“Well what happens on Klyntar if someone is your soulmate but you’re not theirs?”

“Then we go into a cave and mourn until we die alone of heartbreak.” Venom said simply.

“That sounds about right.” You laughed sadly as you took a second to think.

“I’m gonna call that guy back.” You said suddenly.

“What guy?” She asked.

“They guy who asked me out at the coffee shop this morning.” You reminded her.

“The one with the stupid hair? Why would you call him?” Venom asked angrily.

“What was wrong with his hair?” You laughed.

“It was blonde. We like brunette.” Venom said with a devilish grin.

“His hair was fine.” You rolled your eyes. “And I’m gonna call him to say yes to the date.”

“Why would we do that when we like Peter?” Venom whined.

“Because if Peter doesn’t like us, I don’t want to die of heartbreak alone in a cave.” You admitted.

“He does love you.” Venom protested.

“We don’t know that.” You shook your head. “It’s just one date. I need to get back out there anyway. I haven’t gone on a date Andy and I broke up.”

“Fine.” Venom grumbled. “But this is a terrible idea and I’m going to complain the whole time and sing the Les Mis soundtrack in your head.” This was one of those moments where she felt more like your toddler than your symbiote.

You gave the guy a call before driving back to your apartment. As fate would have it, you ran into Peter in the hallway on your way to your room.

“Hey Y/n!” Peter greeted you. “You want to come over later and help me with spanish? I’ll amo you mucho.”

You wanted so badly to say yes but you had to stick to the plan to squash your feelings for Peter.

“Aw, I’m sorry Pete. I wish I could but I have a date tonight.” You frowned, instantly regretting it when you saw the look on his face.

Peter’s heart sank to the floor as he emotions went from feeling devastated to feeling white hot anger in a matter of seconds

“A date?” He sputtered. “With who?”

“Some boy I met at the coffee shop.” You said weakly, knowing you were hurting him.

“Oh.” He said dully. 

“Some boy.” He thought angrily. “Some freaking dirty ass sissy coffee boy asked my girl out.”

Peter felt like hunting the man down and smacking the shit out of him. Or at the very least, webbing him to a wall leaving him there until he missed the date.

“What’s his name?” Peter asked suddenly, wanting to put a name to his new mortal enemy.

“Matt.” You nodded slowly.

“Freaking Matt.” Peter thought. “Freaking dirty ass bitch ass Matt. Was Matt Spider-Man? No. Could Matt treat you as well as I could? Probably. But did he like you as much? No. Did he have inside jokes with you? No. Could he make you laugh your beautiful laugh just by doing a Captain America impression? No. He wasn’t good enough for you. He couldn’t do the things I could do. He was trash. He was a trashy dirty ass rat boy.”

“Interesting.” Peter said, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“I’ll text you when it’s over and maybe I can help you then.” You offered. That sound okay, guapo?”

Peter nodded sadly, not even acknowledging that you called him handsome. Actually, he probably had no idea that you did. He was smart, but only in English.

“That’s fine.” He nodded glumly. “I’ll see you later.”

You watched Peter trudge into his apartment and felt a pain in your heart. He seemed so upset all the sudden. It couldn’t be from your date, could it? It’s not like you told him you got engaged or something. It was one little date. And it’s not like Peter even made a move. He had no reason to be upset. You brushed it off and went into your apartment to get ready.

Just as Venom predicted, the date went horribly wrong. You drove back to the apartment in silence afterwards, leaving Matt to clean himself off back at the restaurant.

“Why did that happen?” You asked her after a long drive in silence. You were mortified from the events of the night but you needed to know why they happened.

“Because he wasn’t your soulmate.” Venom said simply.

“We defiled that boy.”

“It happens.” Venom stated.

“It shouldn’t.” You said, shocked at how nonchalantly she was being.

“But it does.”

You rode the rest of the way in silence, shooting Peter a text before asleep on your couch. You woke up a few hours later in a cold sweat and in tears. You didn’t know it, but Peter was listening to your breathing from his apartment. He had picked up the small cries of his name in your sleep with his superhearing and stayed up to see if you were okay.

You weren’t, by the way. You had had a nightmare that shook you deeply and left you shaking. It was about Peter, but not in a good way. In this dream, he laid injured on the ground after a fight. You were separated from Venom and bleeding out near Peter. You couldn’t do anything to save him. You couldn’t scream for help. And worse, you couldn’t protect him. It caused you great agony to not be able to reach him.

Without giving it another thought, you got off your couch and made your way to the door. You needed to see Peter and tell him how you felt.

You didn’t care about your insecurities anymore. You didn’t care about all the things keeping you apart. You only cared about him, and that was enough. He needed to know that and you couldn’t wait another second.

You swung open your front door, only to find Peter Parker outside it in pink Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a tight white t-shirt. His hand was raised, like he was about to knock.

“Hey.” you breathed. His hair was tousled and sticking up in random places. He looked heavenly.

“Hi.” He said shyly.

“I was just about to go to your door. I had a bad dream.” You told him. You were anxious to skip the semantics and cut right to the chase. 

The chase being, “I love you and I’m yours if you’ll have me.”

“Yeah, I heard. That’s why I’m here.” Peter explained. That’s not what he wanted to say. What he wanted to say was, “I’m always here if you need me. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you. I love you. It’ll be okay.”

Peter looked at you funny for a moment, like he was seeing something beneath the surface.

“She looks so beautiful.” He thought. Makeup free, hair a little messy, and nothing but an oversized sweatshirt to cover you. Peter recognized the sweatshirt as his own, one you had swiped from his laundry basket because you had been freezing while watching Alien in his room. He felt so honored to know that you slept in it. Peter wondered how many times he could fall in love with you in a short span of time. In the past few seconds, he’d fallen about 15 times. Once for every breath you took. And you were breathing quite heavily.

“You heard?” You asked, wondering how he

had possible heard from his apartment.

“My hearing is excellent.” He said quickly. “Are you alright?”

“Please be alright.” He thought. “I’d stop anything that tried to hurt you. I’ll protect you from the storm. Don’t shut me out. Don’t turn me away. Let me love you.”

“Um…” You trailed off and looked behind you at your empty apartment. The darkness looked anything but inviting. You couldn’t go back in there just yet.

“No?” It came out as more of a question.

“No? Do you want to talk about it-“ Peter was cut off when you rushed into his arm and hugged him tightly. He seemed taken aback, seeing as you nearly knocked the wind out of him. But as soon as he found his footing, he wrapped his strong arms around you and held you close. You relaxed in Peters embrace and let out a sigh.

“I had a nightmare.” You croaked. “You died and I couldn’t save you.” 

“I know. It’s okay. You’re awake now. I’m here.” Peter said soothingly. 

“I’ve been here the whole time.” He thought. “I will never abandon you. You are safe in my arms. Nothing can hurt you now. I won’t let it.”

You pulled away a little and looked at his face, seeing how tired it was.

“Would you stay with me?” You asked timidly. You didn’t want him to go. Not now, not ever.

“Always.” Peter answered with a smile. “As if I could ever leave you.”

Your lips lit up in a smile as your eyes fell to his lips. They lingered there for too long, or maybe just long enough. Peter took the hint and slipped his hand behind your neck and began to pull you closer. As your lips were about to touch, your door slammed, causing you to jump out of each other’s embrace.

“Shit balls.” You said immediately, letting out an annoyed sigh.

“What?” Peter asked, giggling a little at your choice of profanity.

“I just locked myself out.” You realized as you jiggled through door handle. Peter laughed louder this time and put a hand on your shoulder.

“Come on. You’re sleeping over.” He said, leading you back to his apartment with his hand on the small of his back.

You entered Peters room for the millionth time, but it felt the first time. Sure, you’d become good friends in the time you’ve lived in the building, but bedrooms were intimate places. The context of you being in Peters bedroom after going to him for comfort changes how you saw the place. After all, bedrooms were windows into the soul. Oh wait, that’s eyes. Still, the room was different. You didn’t feel like you were entering it. You felt like you were returning.

You looked around with a content smile on your face. He still had his academic decathlon posters on his wall, along with a few Avengers posters. Peter was pretty neat, but he was still a teenage boy. Socks and sweaters were strewn across the room. You saw him kicking a pair of boxers under his desk out of the corner of you eye. His room was so cute. It was so…Peter. You noticed a first aid kit on his desk next to his chemistry textbook and wondered what on earth he could be using it for.

“I’ve always liked your room.” You complimented as you touched a decathlon trophy on his dresser.

“Oh thank God.” Peter sighed in relief. “I thought you’d take one look at my nerdy ambiance and run.”

“Star Wars bedsheets?” You asked when you noticed the Death Star poking out under his duvet. You definitely hadn’t seen those before and found them endearing. Peters ears reddened and he fixed his duvet to cover them up.

“Those aren’t mine.” He said quickly.

“Are they Mays? As in May the force be with you?” You played along and he gave you a defeated smile.

“That was the worst thing anyone has ever said. Ever.” Peter joked. You laughed and he gave you a shy smile.

“Fine. They’re my bedsheets. Star Wars is cool, okay?” Peter defended. You took a seat on his bed and shrugged.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me Peter. I just didn’t know you were a loser, is all.”You said simply. Peter sat down on the bed next to you and rolled his eyes.

“Very funny. You’re the funniest person I know.” He said sarcastically. You nudged him with your elbow and he and hit you with a Yoda printed pillow.

“Mm. Good with the force you are.” You commented. Peter groaned loudly and told you to shut up.

“Enough playing around. How was your date?” Peter asked as he turned to face you. You could hear the pain in his voice and regretted ever telling him about the date.

“Oh, you know.” You shrugged. “Terrible.”

You weren’t going to let him off the hook that easy. If Peter really did like you and want to be with you, he needed to say it. He couldn’t just grumble and wallow in self pity when you were with another boy. You wanted to test him to see if he’d ever actually admit his feelings, but a part of you was still scared there were no feelings to admit to.

“Really?” He said excitedly. He cleared his throat to cover it up and grunted. “I mean, really?” He asked calmly.

“Yeah it was awful. I definitely won’t be seeing him again.” You sighed sadly, but you weren’t actually sad. You were just putting on a show for Peter. Peter bit the inside of his cheek to stop the smile from emerging.

“That’s terrible.” Peter lied. “What went wrong?”

His acting was equally as bad as your own. He had a shit eating grin on his face, pretending to be sad when he was clearly over the moon.

“It was going fine all night until the kiss.” You sighed dramatically, looking longingly out the window. You might as well have thrown yourself onto the balcony and cried out for Romeo. Peter, however, was buying every second of it.

“You guys kissed?” He asked, his voice heavy with disappointment. He looked miserable. All you wanted to do was throw your arms around his neck and tell him he was the only one for you. Instead, you kept your feelings to yourself and nodded slowly.

“Almost. He leaned in and…” instead of finishing your sentence, you just shrugged. You could tell Peter was on the edge of his seat so you dragged it as long as you could.

“And?” Peter practically begged. You let out another long, dramatic sigh as Peter took a slow sip of his water bottle.

“And I threw up on him.” You said simply. Peter spat out the water in his mouth and burst out laughing, doing his best to cover it up. You gave him a fake angry look but ended up laughing as well.

“What?” Peter laughed.

“He was such a tool.” You whined. “He talked down to me the entire night and then had the audacity to try and kiss me. I don’t know what happened but all the sudden he was leaning in and I was throwing up. He deserved it though. He treated me like was an idiot. I’m almost glad I threw up on him.”

Peters was overjoyed. He was about to say something when we heard a straggled cry of your name.

You and Peter rushed to his peephole and saw a familiar blonde haired boy standing in the hallway.

There he was, Matt, outside your apartment door with his phone on full volume playing “Hungry Eyes” from Dirty Dancing.

“What the actual hell?” You wondered out loud. “I better get rid of him.”

“Y/nnnnnn. I’m sorry I was a jerk.” Matt slurred. “Please talk to me. I told the doorman we were cousins. Then I told the elevator guy that I was your husband. You may need to move now. Y/nnnn.”

“You definitely can’t go out there.” Peter shook his head. “He could have a knife.”

“Or worse.” You whispered, making Peter looked at you fearfully. “He could have the same loser bedsheets you do.”

Peter scrunched his nose at you and picked up you swiftly to threw you onto the couch.

“Since when are you so strong?” You laughed in shock. Peter shrugged and held out a hand.

“Let’s go to bed.” He said. You raised an eyebrow and he quickly added, “In a non-sexual, platonic way.”

He was always so cautious of offending you or making you uncomfortable. You appreciated how much of a gentleman he was and knew Aunt May had implemented those qualities in him.

“You can take the bed.” He offered. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Let me know if you need anything.”

You nodded and climbed into his bed, patting the the space next to you.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You told him. “Get in.”

Peter looked at you with wide eyes, looking very unsure of himself as he toyed with the hem of his shirt.

He was torn. He wanted to get into the bed, but he also knew you were vulnerable right now and he didn’t want to take advantage of you. He didn’t want to do anything you’d end up regretting in the morning.

“Get in, in a non-sexual, platonic way.” You added. Peter relaxed but stayed standing. You pretended to splash Peter and twirled your hand around the bedsheets as if they were water.

“Come on in Parker. The waters warm.” You said in a low voice.

“I am…repulsed.” Peter deadpanned. In reality, he was dying to get in the bed. He wasn’t gonna try anything, he just wanted to feel you close. He wanted to comfort you and take the pain of the night away. Finally, he got into the bed and pulled the covers up. He shut off his lamp and we fell into comfortable silence.

“Good night, Peter.” You whispered, turning your back to him and cuddling into his pillow.

“Night, Y/n.” He whispered back. You felt his eyes on the back of your neck still. He didn’t want to close them and fall asleep. He wanted to stay in this moment as long as he could.

You soon felt hesitant arms wrap around your waist. Peter was very unsure of himself and kept his hands loosely on your hips, barely touching. You turned your neck around and looked at him quizzically.

“What the hell are you doing?” You demanded. His hands flew off your waist and his eyes widened with fear. He looked so apologetic, you thought he might cry.

“Do you not know how to cuddle?” You asked before he could blurt out an apology. You grabbed his arms and pulled them tightly around your body. You held his hands in your own, flush against your chest. Peter felt really tense at first and a bit stiff, but he soon relaxed and nestled into your hair.

“You smell really good.” He muttered. You laughed softly against his body, prompting Peter to hold you even tighter.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, Y/N.” He whispered. He said it so quietly, you figured he thought you had fallen asleep. “Sweet dreams.”

You woke up the next morning in Peter Parker’s arms. Subsequently, you wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of your life in Peter Parker’s arms. You were a mess of tangled limbs and hair but you found yourself firmly in his embrace, inhaling his cologne.

Peters eyes fluttered open suddenly and you were nose to nose.

“Hi.” You said softly, a playful smile resting on your lips. He was so pretty in the morning. He didn’t even have to try.

“Hey.” He chuckled. “This is new.”

“It is new. Is it okay?” You asked him, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

“Is waking up next to the actual sun okay?” He teased. “Uh yea, Y/n. It’s okay. You can sleep over anytime you like if it means more mornings like this.”

Of course he said that. He held all your strings and knew just how to tug them.

“Did you really not enjoy that date?” He whispered, but in his head thought, “Do you want to be with anyone else?”

You didn’t know why he was whispering, but the look in his eyes told you he was dead serious.

“Not in the slightest.” You answered honestly. What you wanted to say was, “Because it wasn’t with you.”, but you didn’t.

“Would you…would you want to go out with me sometime?” He asked shyly. “I promise I won’t throw up on you.”

He said the second part as if it was the only way you’d say yes to the date, which made you laugh.

“Peter Parker, I have waited exactly 64 days for you to ask me that question and you just had to ruin it by promising you won’t throw up on me?” You playfully scolded as Peters eyes lit up.

“Is that a yes?” He asked excitedly.

“It’s a yes.” You nodded, holding his nearest hand. “It’s always been a yes.”

“Can I-“ He began.

“Don’t ask.” You whispered. “Just do it.”

Peter leaned in slowly and you did the same. His lips had just ghosted yours when Aunt May knocked on the door. He bolted out of bed as you sat up.

“Breakfast is ready. Did you clean your room?” Aunt May called from the other side of the door.

“Yes.” Peter called back. You looked around. No he didn’t

“No you didn’t.” She said knowingly. She didn’t even have to see his room to know it wasn’t clean.

“I’ll clean it after.” He groaned.

“I’m coming in.” She said suddenly, making you and Peter look at each other in fear.

“Don’t! I’m naked.” He screamed.

“Fine. But it better be clean after breakfast. And put some clothes on. You should not be naked at 7 am.” Aunt May said. You heard her footsteps walking away and knew it was safe to speak. You got out of Peters bed as he got up to lock the door, his back still to you as he did it.

“Alright.” He sighed. “That should buy us some ti-“

The second he turned around, he was met with your lips on his. You had your hands on the sides of his face and your head tilted to the left. You felt Peters eyes flutter shut as his eyelashes tickled your cheeks. He was frozen at first, but slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer. You melted into him and he melted right back into you. The kiss was short and sweet, but absolutely perfect.

When you pulled away, Peter gave you the softest eyes ever. A grateful smile was on his lips.

“I am so over these interrupted moments.” You laughed softly as you shook your head. Peters eyes twinkled in agreement. The sun was coming through the window and made his brown eyes look like pots of honey. You could stare at them forever.

And then he kissed you again, with confidence this time. He wasn’t ready for the last one since you caught him off guard. You let your fingers tangle in the messy curls at the back of his neck, something you thought you’d only get to dream of doing. Peter groaned slightly into your mouth as you tugged on his hair, indicating that he liked it. He put his hand under your neck and slipped his toungue in your mouth. Who knew Peter Parker knew how to kiss? He tasted like morning breath, spearmint chapstick, and something you could only identify as being exclusively Peter. When you pulled apart, he looked up at the sky and sighed.

“If I wake up and this is all a dream I’m going to fight you.” He said menacingly.

“Did you just threaten God?” You laughed.

“For you? Anthing. I’ll fight anyone for your honor. Our Lord and Savior can catch these hands can square up.” He promised.

“You’ve gone to far.” You joked. “We need to break up.”

“Don’t even joke. I’ve waited too long for this.” Peter said as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m only teasing. I’ve waited my whole life for you Parker. I’m never letting you go.” You told him. He burst out in a smile and kissed you swiftly, then promptly got down on one knee.

“Will you please be mine, darling? Officially?” He pleaded softly. There was so much hope in his eyes so you pretended to think about it.

“Sorry.” You shrugged. “I’m pretty busy with Matt.”

Peter stood up and gripped your hips, pulling you closer while you let out a small gasp.

“I never want to hear his name again. He had the privilege of taking my girl on a date and treated her poorly?” He raised an eyebrow. “He’s a deadman if I ever see him around here. Now, I need you to tell me you’re my girlfriend before my heart explodes. Tell me you’re mine. I won’t believe it until you say it. ”

You nodded yes as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his lips.

“Peter Parker, I always have, and always will be, yours.”

[barnesandco]

Little Hands (II)

Series Masterlist

You, Bucky, and Anastasia pay Bruce Banner a visit. 

This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo 2021. Word count: 1836. Square filled: “You don’t wanna know.”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: More Sad Child. Needles, fear of. So much overthinking.

A/N: Gosh, I’m so glad I got this chapter edited in time. I hope you like it and I’m sorry for skipping out on y’all last week! To make up for it, there’ll be two updates this weekend, so look out for the next chapter tomorrow! Lmk what you thinkkkk

The Avengers Compound is every bit as spectacular as you could have possibly hoped, and yet you’re unable to fully appreciate it because of the sheer absurdity of the situation. Your hand is in the vice-tight grip of the supposed daughter of your neighbor, who happens to be an Avenger.

Said neighbor is pacing back and forth in front of you as you sit in Bruce Banner’s laboratory, with Anastasia beside you while you wait for Bruce to arrive. Ana is remarkably calm, her young features – the round cheeks, still-wet eyes – made mature by her abnormal silence. Something about her makes you think she’s used to this kind of tension. Something about her screams war-child. Perhaps this grip she has on you is the first demand she has made in a long time, the only tantrum she has ever been allowed to throw.

While you aren’t particularly experienced with children, you think you want her to feel safe with you, because it seems she hasn’t been elsewhere. Ana’s eyes flit around the room in the only behavioral indication of her youth – a childlike curiosity, shining in the face of this fancy, new place that gleams like a toy store. Every now and then, her gaze jumps back from the alien appearance of the lab to her father (?) who seems intent on wearing a hole in the tiles with his pacing.

It is beginning to wear on you: both Bucky’s pacing and Ana’s steadily increasing anxiety. He hasn’t said a word to her since he opened the envelope, only asked that you accompany him to the Compound seeing as Ana won’t go alone with him (You would have gone with him even if that hadn’t been so. Though the nature of your relationship is ambiguous at times, the strength of your friendship is not. You’ll figure this out. You won’t leave him alone). Clearly, there is some unspoken memory that has him convinced the claim in the letter is plausible. Neither of you would be here if it wasn’t.

Bucky doesn’t talk too much about his past. He has offered a few of the shattered shards of his past reflection to you in the few night-caped moments you have hammered on his door upon hearing shouts across the hall. Between that, and what you know thanks to Black Widow’s file dump, the big Avengers’ in-fight in Europe last summer, the consequent resolution to the Accords, and Bucky’s publicized pardon, you can guess at the traumas that lurk in the depths of him.

They’re traumas that are closer to the surface of his eyes now, pulled forth by this new life, this little soul that has no business with such dark things, and the implication that this holds. Ana, innocent as she may be, is an insinuation of what else might have been unwillingly torn from Bucky.

You don’t want to think about it, because it hurts to do so, because you care for him, in many, many ways. It seems that Anastasia is also starting to tire of it. With every step Bucky takes, her hand tightens on yours. Fortunately, soon, the door to your left opens, and Bruce Banner enters his lab.

He's appropriately disheveled for this hour in the morning. Under his pristine lab coat, one of his shirt buttons is done into the wrong buttonhole, but his eyes are alert, frantic even, though you get the feeling that this is a man always on the edge of escape.

Bucky lets out a breath he seems to have been holding at the same time as his shoulders tense. “Thanks for coming so early, Doctor Banner. I wouldn’t have called if—”

“You never call, so I know it must have been important. But it looks like I’ve kept you waiting anyways,” Banner says, his eyes widening as they move from Bucky, to you, to the little girl at your side. “What’s the matter? You know I’m not a medical doctor, right?” He asks, putting a work bench between himself and his visitors.

Bucky clears his throat, and doesn’t quite know how to say what he needs to. After a few more seconds of hesitation, in which Banner waits patiently, Bucky extracts the envelope containing the fateful letter from his pocket, and hands it over.

The furrows in Doctor Banner’s brow multiply spontaneously, and when he looks up, Bucky gestures with a subtle nod of his head to Ana. He has yet to explain your presence, but you think Doctor Banner is a smart man. It won’t take more than Anastasia’s tight hold on you for him to put two and two together. Sometimes, a scared child is just that, no matter how unusual.

Most of their ensuing conversation is held at a lowered volume, set by Bucky, probably out of courtesy for Ana. You can hear snatches and phrases, most of them confirmations of things you had expected and some, not so much. Lobby security cam footage… fingerprints… paternity test… serum… blood sample…

By the end of it, some facsimile of a plan seems to have evolved between the two men, because Doctor Banner turns away with a smile and you, taking it as a welcome, stand and approach him. He rounds his desk and shakes your hand, exchange introductions though he hardly needs one, and then, he crouches, the way Bucky had, and offers Ana his hand.

“Hi, I’m Bruce.”

“Ana.”

Bucky steps forward. “Anastasia—” the name is clumsy on his tongue, because he’s scared. You can see it, and you hope he knows you are, too, but you’ll stand with him regardless, “—Bruce is going to check that you aren’t sick.”

“I’m okay.”

“We need to be sure.”

“Okay.”

Banner pulls out a chair, and you’re about to sit Ana down on it, when she pushes you gently into it, and sits on your lap. You can do nothing but wrap your arms gently around her, so she doesn’t fall. The apology in Bucky’s eyes is melted with a sympathetic smile. It’s alright. A child developing an inexplicable affection for you is not the worst thing to ever happen to you.

Ana is warm and a comfortable weight on you, and you hold her as loosely as you can, feel the movement of her chest against your arms with each breath. Her hair is a mix of wool-thick and silk-soft against your chin, smelling faintly of the sugar-sweet strawberry scent found in children’s shampoos. Someone took care of her.

Someone she isn’t asking for. What kind of child doesn’t ask for their mother, past the initial, momentary heartbreak? How has she come to terms with the apparent change in custody, when the new custodian hasn’t?

Whether Bucky is to be the new guardian has yet to be determined. You can see Bruce pulling out a syringe and preparing a vial. You wonder if she’s scared of needles. Bucky flinches at the sight of them, even now. He’s said that his disdain for the cold clinicism of medicine dates back to long before Hydra. Medical equipment reminds him of worrying that his best friend was going to die. It’s the fear he has harbored longest, longer than his fear of war, of gunshots in the dark, of blood on his hands.

Ana shares it. When she sees the needle, she screams, and Bucky lunges forward to help you hold her in place. She’s so, so much stronger than you thought and while you can hold her limbs, her head thrashes about, and so does her torso, making it impossible for Bruce to get to the inside of her elbow.

In the chaos, your eye lands on a trinket on a nearby desk, sitting there like a peace offering, literally beckoning to you. “Hey, Ana,” you whisper-yell, trying not to get hit in the jaw by her head. “Do you like animals? Cats? I have a friend who has lots and lots of cats, and I could take you to see them.” It’s working. You’re out of breath, but she’s quieting. Most little kids love cats. You love cats. “I think Bruce has a toy cat. See, over there?” You dare to lift an arm to point at the maneki-neko on the table. Ana stills. Her eyes follow the hypnotic movement, and the syringe at Ana’s elbow does its job.

When the bandage is put on, you and Bucky let go with twin nervous chuckles of relief and disbelief, and Bruce puts the vial in a machine. Ana hops off to approach the desk, and bats at the paw waving at her like a mirror of it.

“We should have the results soon. I think the others are starting to wake up, if you want to say hi,” Bruce says, taking off his glasses and wiping them on the corner of his lab coat.

“Maybe later,” you say, seeing that Bucky is hardly in any position to converse casually with his teammates right now. Not to mention, it’d be a lot of work to explain Ana, especially before having any sort of confirmation of who she is.

Bucky pulls out a chair next to you while Bruce opens a laptop a few counters away, and an x-ray machine lifts its head behind Ana, who has moved on from the lucky cat, and is stroking the leaves of a flowering plant.

“Peace lily,” Bucky says, startling you. You look at him, the bags under his eyes, the way he almost looks his age right now, and fight the urge to hold his hand. “It’s the first flower I bought for my apartment. I put it in a community garden after a nightmare about the war. Didn’t feel right for me to have it.”

He's talking about the Second World War. The war always refers to his first war. You think he’s talking about peace, and not the lily, after what he’s done. After what he was forced to do.

“It’s not your fault,” is an automatic response, and never enough, especially for the war, because at least he was in his own senses, even if he was drafted. It always elicits a self-deprecating laugh, but right now, he’s too tired for even that.

Right now, he can only watch as the x-ray camera follows Ana around the room, from the peace lilies, to an Amazon elephant’s ear, to a strange sculpture made from Coca-Cola cans glued together by what looks like spider-webs.

Too soon, Bruce calls you over to his work station. You follow Bucky, one eye on Ana.

“She’s yours,” Bruce says, and Bucky inhales sharply. Now, you do take his hand, stroke the metal ridges with your calloused thumb. “But she has disproportionately more of your DNA than her mother’s.”

“What does that mean?”

Bruce wrings his hands. “She’s not a complete clone, but nearly a genetic copy. 80% of a clone, if you will.”

Bucky is growing increasingly uncomfortable, shifting next to you. “How’s that possible?”

“You don’t wanna know.”

[capypub]

Summer Wine (Ch. 12)

Bruno Madrigal x Original Female Character

Chapter Rating: G

(Masterlist)

Mila was pleasantly surprised by how quickly Bruno had put his word into motion. They had started planning an afternoon every two to three days where they could just be with each other, whether that be lounging in his room, sometimes napping, going on an evening walk, picnicking by the river, or even something as simple as laying in field near Casita. They talked about making time for each other the night after getting back from the river, Bruno even made a point to gather the drafts he had written and place them in a drawer for the night.

As the date of the ceremony approached, Marisol couldn’t help but do some reflecting on her own. As she sat in the backroom of the cantina, replaying all the events that led up to this point, she toyed with the ring on her finger.

“Something on your mind, mijita?” her mother asked as she brought supplies in from the back entrance.

“Just…nervous about the wedding,” she shrugged in response, looking down at the shining emerald jewel.

“Are you having second thoughts?” her mother questioned, moving closer to the younger woman.

“No, mamá, of course not…just…you know, thinking…” she said, sounding unsure of herself.

“Mari, don’t stress yourself too much, these things are normal. I’m so glad you found someone who makes you as happy as your papa has made me for over twenty-five years,” the older woman said soothingly, rubbing her daughter’s back.

“What if…what if, I don’t know, I…I’m scared?” Marisol questioned more to herself than her mother.

“That’s also very normal, mija,” she said softly, “you’re going to be a beautiful bride with a wonderful husband waiting for you and all will be well.”

“Were you nervous when you married papá?” Marisol questioned.

“Oh, of course, mijita, I was terrified. I felt like I would pass out once those doors to the church opened, but then…” she sighed, looking off into the distance as she reflected on her own wedding, “but then I saw your papá waiting at the altar, ah, he looked so handsome…and I knew everything would be alright once I made it to him….”

“Oye, Sol!” Rafi called from the front as her mother kissed the top of her head affectionately.

Both women looked towards the doorway leading into the main room of the cantina. Marisol’s older brother stepped into the backroom, holding a half empty bottle of guaro with a rag over his shoulder.

“Bruno’s here,” he said before ducking back through the doorway to keep an eye on the bar.

“Oh!” Marisol chirped, jumping up from where she had been sitting, but hesitantly looked back at her mother.

“Go ahead, mi vida, you deserve some time alone with your fiancé after all the stressful planning,” her mother encouraged, squeezing her hand softly.

“Gracias, mamá,” Marisol beamed, kissing her mother’s cheek before darting out to the front.

She spotted her amante sitting at a table occupied by some of the older villagers, in the middle of a game of dominos. She approached him silently, analyzing the board as she wrapped both arms around his neck, bending over to kiss his cheek.

“Are you winning, mi viejo?” she teased, her lips brushing the curls near his ear.

“Absolutely not, mija, your esposo is about to lose for the third time this week,” Lorenzo, one of the regular customers to the cantina snickered, playing his next move.

Bruno chuckled, placing one of his dominos down, inevitably ending the game as Lorenzo was able to play his final piece. Standing up, Bruno shook the older man’s hand, joking about a re-match soon before turning his attention to the woman who still clung to him.

“What bring you here? I thought Mira was helping you edit your book?” she asked as they sat in a booth away from the noise of the afternoon crowd.

“I decided to take a break, see my beautiful betrothed and perhaps bring her over for dinner,” he shrugged, his hand finding her across the table.

“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea,” she agreed, finding comfort in the warmth of his hands.

“Pepa wanted to see your dress and give you something, I think, I wasn’t really listening,” he shrugged, rolling his eyes.

“Sure, I’m getting a final fitting in a couple days,” she nodded as he traced patterns into her palm.

“How are you feeling, mi amor? About everything?” he asked, meeting her eyes, his own reflecting his own underlying nerves.

“Something between nervous and excited,” she replied with a shy smile, “I can’t wait to be your wife, but…the actual wedding and reception have had me more on edge with each passing day,” she shrugged.

“We still have time to make changes, mi vida…if something simpler and quieter would make you happy, I’ll gladly make it happen,” he offered, raising her hand to his mouth, lightly kissing her knuckles.

“Everyone has worked so hard for us, though,” she responded, “I wouldn’t want them to think we were ungrateful for their efforts.”

“So thoughtful, mi amor,” he chuckled, holding her hand against his mouth.

“Are you nervous?” she asked after a moment of silence.

“I’m always nervous,” he joked, chuckling softly, “but in terms of the wedding, well…I think I’m most nervous for having to stand in front of the whole village, but…I can’t wait to be your husband so…I’d gladly stand before the entire world if that meant I get to call you mine in the end.”

She beamed at his sweet words, leaning over the table to kiss him quickly. He held her hand tighter when she pulled away, grinning bashfully as he glanced around the cantina to make sure no one was paying any attention to them. While she knew Bruno had become very comfortable with public displays of affection, he also kept his displays to a minimum out of respect.

“Are you needed here right now? I’d like to spend time with mi amante before dinner,” he asked, looking down at their intertwined hands.

“I’m sure Rafi can handle things,” she nodded, allowing him to lead them out of the building, giggling as he pulled her along to the back of the building that faced the jungle, sectioned off by two long strips of fencing built by her father.

When they finally stood behind the wooden planks of the fence, she grinned as he grasped her jaw between his hands, kissing her softly, sighing in content. Gripping his wrists loosely, she returned his kiss with enthusiasm, tilting her head just slightly.

“When will you let me read your draft?” she asked, pulling away, the lightness of her tone and smile making Bruno’s body relax further.

“When it’s finished,” he smirked, taking her hand, leading them out from behind the fence, towards the plaza.

“What?” she gasped jokingly, “I thought I’d get to be parting of the editing process too,” she pouted.

“I don’t think so, mi amor, I want this to be the best possible version before I let you see it,” he shook his head, still grinning softly.

When they reached the center of the plaza, most of the villagers seemed to be occupied with their booths or other tasks. Marisol spotted Julieta near the well, passing out food to those lined up with various injuries. The oldest triplet quickly spotted them and smiled, waving them over.

“Hola cariños,” she greeted them warmly.

They both greeted the oldest sibling before sitting with her to help, keeping up a comfortable conversation as the line became shorter and shorter for the day. Julieta had informed them that Alma had been keeping very close tabs on the wedding details, wanting everything to be absolutely perfect. Such an idea had Marisol tensing again, her fear of disappointing her future mother-in-law as well as the rest of the family starting to rise to the surface again.

“Mamá can fret all she wants,” Bruno said as he rolled his eyes, “I just want the day to pass as quickly as possible.”

Marisol nodded in agreement, smiling at her betrothed as he handed another arepa to a waiting villager. She’d watched his confidence grow so much over their time together and had to admit when he held himself up in a such a way, it was extremely attractive, stirring something in her chest and between her legs.

“What are your feelings about everything, Marisol?” Julietta questioned, her tone casual and calm.

“I think I’m just ready to be Bruno’s wife, the rest of the details are more to please everyone else,” she admitted with a shy shrug.

“Ah, you two are truly meant for each other,” she said with a light laugh.

As the food began to run out and the line eventually ending, they helped her collect her things and walk back to Casita. Bruno was quiet as the two women conversed, occasionally adding his input but preferring to listen.

When they reached the kitchen, Marisol offered to help with dinner. Of course, this meant Bruno chose to stay in the kitchen as well, finding a spot near the island to sit, content with just watching his amante cook and prepare. Julieta on the other hand had other ideas.

“If you’re going to be in the kitchen, you’re going to help,” she stated simply, handing him a knife and a cutting board, telling him to start chopping the vegetables.

“You know I can’t cook, hermana,” Bruno huffed, pouting as she placed a bowl of carrots in front of him.

“You’re not cooking, you’re cutting, now get to it,” she said with a snap of her fingers, her tone shifting to one of an older sister who has had years of practice keeping her siblings in line.

With a huff, Bruno picked up the knife and slowly started making his way through the various items placed near him. All the while, Marisol was grinning, seeing her lover interacting so naturally with his family. As she helped prepare the meal, Julieta spoke of what’s been going on with her daughters.

“I think Isabela is seeing someone,” she said, stirring the contents of a pot on the stove, “but every time I try to ask her, she denies it.”

“Mira and Luisa haven’t said anything, either?” Marisol asked.

The older woman shook her head. “I don’t think they know either, even after everything that has happened, yes, they have gotten much closer, but I guess this may be something she’s not ready to share with anyone.”

“In time, Julieta,” Bruno spoke up, “she’s a smart girl, she’ll say something when she’s ready.”

They helped finish preparing the majority of the meal before Julieta shooed them away to gather the family. Bruno couldn’t help but feel excited, knowing that soon this would be his everyday life, going about the rest of his days with Marisol by his side to keep things interesting and, much to his sisters’ relief, keep him in line. He couldn’t help the goofy smile on his face during dinner, too lost in his daydreams of the future to hear what was going on around him. He didn’t even realize his mother was talking about wedding details until Marisol pinched his hand, bringing his mind back down from the heavens.

“Hm?” he asked, looking at her, only slightly embarrassed by being caught not paying attention.

“Your mamá is asking for a date, so she can tell el padre tomorrow after mass,” she said, smiling nervously.

“O-oh, right, um…I-I, uh, I’m not sure, what do you think, amor?” he asked.

“Preferably sooner than later, mijo,” Alma intervened, “your mamá cannot wait forever,” she added with a raised brow.

Marisol giggled softly under her breath, ducking her head to mask the noise. Bruno, feeling his face heat up under the hard stare of his mother, fidgeted with the collar of his shirt, looking to his sisters for help. Both of them gave a knowing smirk, having been in his situation many years ago when they were engaged.

“Uh, I-I think, maybe, if everything is almost ready, we could…um,” he swallowed nervously, glancing back to Marisol who occupied her attention with the stem of her wine glass, “maybe by the end of the month?” he said, sounding unsure.

“Ah, perfecto, I’ll make the arrangements,” his mother nodded with a satisfied smile.

“The end of the month?” Marisol asked once the attention was off of them, “are you sure, amor?”

“We could get married tonight, mi vida, for all I care...I just want to be able to call you mine,” he shrugged bashfully.

“Oh, Bruno,” she cooed, her heart fluttering at his sweet words.

She squeezed his hand softly under the table, leaning over to kiss his cheek. The rest of the meal went off without any hiccups, all talk of the wedding seeming to take a backseat as the family simply enjoyed the time together. Bruno sighed in relief when the meal had ended, and he could go upstairs to relax with his love. He rushed her up the stairs and into his room, where they could enjoy time with each other without the pressures of planning and family over them.

“We’re going to be married in a couple weeks,” Marisol said softly as they laid intertwined with each other on his bed.

“We are,” Bruno mumbled, his eyes closed as he basked in the comfort of her body curled around his own.

“It doesn’t even feel real,” she sighed, running a hand through his hair soothingly.

“It is very real, mi amor, and I couldn’t ask for a better life,” he said, kissing her shoulder and then her cheek before craning his neck to meet her lips.

“Same,” she giggled against his mouth, snaking both arms around his neck as he pulled her closer.

[ohheyitsokay]

steal

part 7 of the ‘hey batter batter’ series

pairing: Francisco Morales (Frankie, Catfish) x reader

wordcount: 2.5k

warnings: strong language, mentions of previous substance abuse and mediocre family relationships, a happy, happy ending

summary: it’s a Triple Frontier Baseball AU! Trust me, you don’t need to know anything about baseball.

in baseball, to ‘steal’ is for someone already on base to to the next base when the ball is live, but before his time. 

In this chapter, Frankie takes you out to dinner, and in telling you about himself, accidently goes way too hard, way too fast. 

>>

Frankie called and asked you to an early dinner.

Early, so the restaurant wouldn’t be crowded. Early, so he wouldn’t have the chance to overthink. Early, so the boys wouldn’t catch word and cause chaos.

Early, so he’d have all the time in the world with you, if you wanted.

When he picked you up, neither of you had the time to worry about your clothes or hair or fuss with it, and it was a relief. Someday, you hoped to get the chance to dress up for each other, but for now, casual seemed most fitting. He opened the door of his truck for you, holding your hand as you stepped into it. It wasn’t that you needed the extra help, he just seemed like he wanted to. 

You didn’t see, but his hand flexed, tingling as he walked around to climb in the driver’s side.

The talk came easy - Francisco forwent superfluous pleasantries and when he asked you questions there was no doubt in your mind that he actually wanted to hear your answers. You found yourself spilling about your job, flushing when you caught him watching you talk closer than the road, something soft in his eyes.

It was a stereotype, that a baseball player would like diner food, and you were pleasantly surprised when his truck slid into the tiny parking lot of a mom ‘n pop Hispanic restaurant. It was cute, watching him run around to open your door again, and he asked “Is this okay?” as he helped you down.

In response, you shifted your hand in his until his large fingers were laced with yours, and said yes, of course a little breathlessly. There was a lovely lady both serving and hosting who acted like she knew Francisco, giving him a broad wink and rapid fire teasing in what you could only assume was Spanish. In truth, you were too distracted by the way his thumb was running over the back of your hand, and the smells of corn and peppers and homemade tortillas.

Seated, she asked if you would be alright with anything, and your date looked eager and hopeful, so you would be a monster not to agree.

“So you come here often,” you said when she left. Not a direct question, although you were sure you wanted to hear the story. Francisco grinned.

“Are you flirting with me?” His eyebrows dipped in the middles, betraying a little more hope than he intended.

“Yes?” It was easier to tease as the waitress put plate after steaming plate between you, and a container full of warm tortillas. You spread your napkin over your lap as you thanked her, ignoring the growl in your stomach. As much as you liked that he let you talk, you wanted to know more about him, wanted to give him the chance to say whatever he left out the other night. There was certainly more to the solid catcher than met the eye, learning him felt as natural as your hunger.

“I’m serious though, what should I try first?” You pointed at various things with your fork, and Francisco almost wiggled he looked so happy. It was a dream, having you tucked into the little booth across from him, trust in your eyes.

“The green chili, Anita makes it from scratch regularly and it’s fantastic,” he pointed, eyes watching with joy as you dug into the smothered burrito. Your moan shot through him, warming his whole body more than the food he swallowed in a hurry. “Good, yeah?”

“Amazing,” you didn’t ask again, how he knew, just began filling your stomach. He told you about various dishes, sharing them with you like it was the most natural thing in the world. Eventually, the story came out naturally.

“I used to come here a lot when I first moved to town,” he shrugged. “It’s halfway between the stadium and where my family is right now.”

It was easy to meet his eyes and you didn’t pry. Twirling a long string of molten cheese on his fork, it poured out of him, telling more than you felt like you deserved to know and watching you carefully.

He started at the beginning, how it felt like home, this little restaurant, but safer. His mother and sister lived in a small town nearby. It was messy, his youth, full of shit a kid shouldn’t have to deal with. Baseball had been his way out, his chance at a life he couldn’t have. To be good at something, to have a team to belong to. Clean uniforms and clean money, from prizes, that put meat on his bones and filled out his sister’s cheeks.

He became Frankie, pouring his heart into it until he excelled, working like he needed it to survive.

When the scholarships rolled in, he picked the one farthest away, sending checks from his nightshift part-time home more often than he called. He thought his life was good, that running away was working. Being drafted was a dream come true – and a nightmare. It came with and confirmed nasty truths, about the industry and people who wanted his success for all the wrong reasons. Those first few years were full of parties and bad decisions, chasing highs and losing track of himself in the thick of it all. One night, Santi dragged him back, reminded him why he did all of it, reminded him who they had dreamed of being. Showed him they could still be those people.

“I didn’t really know him then, we played on different teams. But we hit rock bottom around the same time and ended up leaving early from the same party.” Frankie pushed the final few grains of rice around his plate, and you wondered if that was the party Tom had gotten busted at. If they really had rescued each other, more than they realized.

God or fate gave him a second chance, and they got traded to the same team the next season, close to his home. He started visiting, supplying himself instead of just money, still playing the game - but allowing himself to enjoy it, be a human.

A tray of sopapillas came as he was telling you animatedly how bad his mother was at gardening, and how silly he felt trying to help her. It made him glow, his pride at how far he had come and you wanted to hug him. Frankie stared at the soft, puffed pastry, as if realizing for the first time he had no idea how long he’d been talking. Then he pushed his card into Anita's hand and shot you a nervous look. You shrugged, but it wasn’t about the payment, at least not entirely.

“Would you want to take these to go?”

“Go where?”

“I was thinking maybe… to meet them?” There was a silent beat, as your hands almost dropped the plates you’d been stacking.

“Wait, shit, sorry I just –” Frankie had never felt so stupid in his life. He blew it, he definitely fucked this up. He had just told you his entire life story and decided now, your very first date? Yeah, that would be a good time for you to meet his family. Thus far you’d listened and reacted like a dream, as kind and considerate as you’d ever been, but this was too much. 

Your laugh cut off his spiral.

“Okay,”

“What?”

“Okay, let’s do it.” You were shaking your head in disbelief, but god was your smile beautiful. Bright and genuine, it made him wonder again if you felt like he did. Like this wasn’t really your first date.

Like you were as deep as he was, already.

-

On the drive he told you the rest of it. His sister was running from herself like he had, except in sucky, deadbeat men. About how when they had conversation that carried them in circles and he wanted to lock her up and force her into therapy, or when the world of baseball became too much, how he went to that restaurant. How he would eat home cooking all on his own, and breathe until he found the right words for himself or for her.

When you offered him your hand, over the middle console, he took it without hesitation. It was soft and fit into his like it was meant to be, and he was reminded again how in awe he was of you. This was by no means what you had agreed to, not normal under any circumstances, but you were trusting him, rolling with it like he was worth it. 

He wanted to be, wanted all of this so bad he could hardly breathe. 

The rest of his story left almost no time for him to prep you, but when the door to the little mobile home opened, his mama greeted you like she knew you were coming.

You were lovely stepping into his truck with your hand in his, and you were lovely across from him with green chili sliding down your chin as you flushed, but this... was something else. It hit him full force, that you had listened and learned and stayed. With Tom hitting on you, with the mess at the party they shouldn’t have been at, with all of the shit in their pasts, and even this. You were really here, at his mother’s home, kissing her cheek and letting her call you his novia and accepting all of his life, all of him. 

His madre only hugged him after you, and her beam brightened as she watched you follow him, in slipping off your shoes. Every time he saw her, he thought she looked a little smaller - you’re just growing, mi frijol -  but she looked small next to you, too. Her voice was extra high as she cooed, ushering you into the cluttered mobile home, and he could help but smile as he followed, too in love with the moment to be embarrassed of her questions. 

You had listened closely, sympathetic but surprisingly determined not to be pushed away. This felt like simply an extension of that awkward and beautiful dinner, the way his mother welcomed you with open arms and rapid fire questions about yourself. She mercifully left out pushy questions about your relationship as you settled into the paisley couch, and Frankie was as warm and solid against your side as he had ever been.

There were little wrinkles around his eyes as he watched you and her, and as you began asking her questions about herself, he was more sure about you than he had ever been. It wasn’t gone completely, the feeling that this was ridiculous and he’d ruined whatever you had by going unreasonably fast with you, but he did his best to ignore it. Instead he focused on you, something he was learning was good luck.

His heart ached when you fit into his side, practically in his lap as you used him to ground yourself. It felt natural, in an intoxicating way, and he wanted you. Just like this.

When his madre thought she heard a knock and went to check, he found himself rubbing the top of your head with his jaw, his cheek, his nose. The whole night felt like it wasn’t real.

“Thank you for rolling with this,” he whispered into your hair. Your shoulder moved up and down again on his chest – a shrug.

“You’ve already met James, it’s almost the same,” you shifted to smile at him, nad he shook his head before noticing your eyes flit behind him.

At the door was a woman, dark stains under her eyes, belly stretching out the thin fabric of her shirt, and eyebrows drawn together.

His sister.

Then his mother came in pushing glasses of tea into your hands, almost as cool as the introduction, and you settled back against Frankie. Your life had become so strange these past few weeks, but you had known for what felt like a long time now. Together, it would be okay.

-

The drive home was dark, and silent for a long moment as you collected yourself, and Frankie was glad the evening started early.

“So this was a long date,” Frankie said, a question and an apology. You huffed in laughter and he offered his hand to you, saying your name with adoration, imploring you to talk to him.

“It was a lot,” you said, honestly, but you took his hand, thankful for the openness.

“Yeah,” his voice cracked, and you could see him struggling not to watch you anxiously. “I didn't plan on taking you home and all that happening, plus my mom calling you my- ”

“I know, Francisco,”

“Fuck. Do you… do you have any questions? Or…” he was beginning to panic, the undercurrent of anxiety finally uncontrollable.

His sister had been short with you, as much as she’d been with him these past few months. It was a lot, so much more than you deserved.

“Do you regret it?” It was an honest question.

Frankie’s mouth opened a little bit, his eyes suddenly steady on the road, really thinking. Then he shook his head, and a knot you didn’t know you had undid itself in your chest. He used his hand to draw yours to his mouth, ghost kisses over your knuckles, mustache only tickling a little bit. “I want you to be a part of my life, querida.” 

The truck hit a bump, and you felt pressure, and then like you were floating. You nodded, trying to find the words to tell him you wanted that, too. 

Finally, you said, “Thank you for letting me,” and he laughed. It was rich and deep and full of relief, almost giddy as it broke the tension, and you laughed too. He let your hands drop back between you, but didn’t let go, squeezing gently.

 The words unsaid didn’t really seem to matter, as he cruised five under the speed limit towards your home. 

 When you asked, “Why do you still go to those parties?” it was the last thing he has been expecting. The rush of wind by the widows felt loud as he thought.

“I guess… sometimes it feels like I’ve got nothing better to do.” It sounded lame, even to him. That wasn’t all of it, it was more complicated than that, but you understood. After this whole time, you’d stuck around, of course you did.

“What about next time, instead…” The stars were twinkling, winking at you, “You go on another date with me?”

“You still want to?” Frankie had hoped, really hoped, but hearing you offer was something different. Fire in his chest, hot and bright and powerful. When he looked over, you were nodding, smiling at him with a certainty on your face that matched his own. 

“There’s a game tomorrow,” he was half joking.

You laughed. 

“Okay.”

He pulled over under a streetlight to kiss you. 

<<

translations:

madre - mother

novia - girlfriend 

mi frijol - my bean

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge

hey batter batter taglist:

@icanbeyourjedi @studyofawearymind @hnt-escape @athalien @the-witty-pen-name @daffodin @sarahjkl82-blog @pintsizemama @anaaaispunk @pjkimrn @dobbyjen

[dragon-kazansky]

Seven Days | Helmut Zemo

Gender neutral reader

Seven Days was a concept to see if a character could fall in love with you within a week. Did it work?

First draft got deleted, some thing have changed a little. I apologise.

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Day three

You had spent all night and all morning staring at your phone, debating on if you should make use of that number or not. For the most part you would just walk away and try to forget about it. He was just some guy you had a nice conversation with and then spent the night at his place.

No big deal. Nothing worth calling him over.

At least you tried to come up with every excuse under sun as to why phoning him was a bad idea. Every excuse worse than the last.

You had one very good reason to call him.

You liked him.

You couldn't deny that through the small interactions you've had with him has made an impact on you. He had wriggled his way into your mind and had planted a seed there. One that would not go away.

You sigh and pick up your phone for the hundredth time. All you had to do was input his number and call him.

Was that too eager? Was he waiting on the other end waiting for you? You hoped not, but also, you wanted him to. You wanted him to be having a melt down as much as you. You wanted him to be anticipating your call.

Would he have given you his number if he didn't want you to call him? You doubted it.

Maybe he liked you too.

You would never know if you didn't phone him. The sooner the better!

And yet, you're walking away from your phone again. You stop and look at it over your shoudler.

Why were you making this so hard.

Just call him!

You go back to your phone and pick it up. You look at the black screen and sigh.

It's now or never.

You unlock your phone and find his name name. You press it. The choice to call him lights up. All you have to do is press it.

You only got as far as putting his number into your phone, so that meant you had the intention to do it, right?

Taking a deep breath, you press the little call icon and hold your phone up to your ear.

It rings. Rings. Rings some more.

Just when you're about ready to hang up and never do this again, you hear his voiceiie on the other side.

Your heart leaps.

"Hello?"

He doesn't know it's you. You could just hang up and never do this ever again. He wouldn't know.

"Hello."

Damn it, you answered. Now you have to do this.

"Ah, hello. I wondered if you ever were going to call," he chuckles.

You can't help the smile that appears on your face.

"Sorry, I've been busy this morning," you lied. All you have done is debate on of you should do this or not.

He doesn't seem to notice though.

"Well, I'm glad you have time to call me," you can hear the smile in his voice. "Perhaps you'll indulge me in joining me for dinner tonight?"

Dinner?

Was he asking you out on a date? Or was it really just dinner? You can't tell from his voice.

"Uh, well, I suppose..." Oh, you sounded so awkward.

"You suppose?" He chuckles.

"I wasn't expecting you to invite me to dinner."

"Casual dinner. You could say I'm intrigued by you. I'd like to get to know you better. Won't you indulge me?"

You lick your lips in a nervous manner.

"Alright. When and where?" You ask.

"Tonight. My apartment? I will cook."

You find yourself smiling.

"Sounds good to me. I'll be there."

You're sure you can hear the smile in his voice as he says, "wonderful. I will be expecting your arrival."

After you hang up the call, you sit there and smile. Dinner with Helmut. How exciting.

What are you going to wear? Didn't your friend say he was a Baron? Goodness! Do you dress up? But it's at his place, maybe not.

You start to panic.

You only have until nightfall to find something. Quickly, you get up and go on the hunt for something nice to wear.

As nightfall approaches, you head outside. Now having your number, Helmut texts you with the time he will come for you. Though you insisted on arriving by yourself, knowing where he lived, he argued back and said he would come for you.

A very nice car was parked outside of your apartment. This one was different to the one you had been in already.

Helmut was leaning against the closed drivers door, waiting for you. He smiled handsomely as you approach.

"Don't you look lovely."

You blush, despite him only being friendly. He has stated this was a casual dinner. There was no need for you to get worked up.

"Thank you. Shall we?" You nod toward the car.

Helmut opens the door for you. You climb in, smiling shyly. He was being a gentleman and that was enough to make your heart flutter.

It's not a date.

It's not a date.

You keep repeating those words over and over in your mind. It sure felt like one, bit it wasn't.

The car ride is quiet, but you can see him glance at you every do often from your peripheral vision. There is a small smile on his face as drives.

You don't know where he's taking you, but you try to take a few guesses as you pass through the streets, but he passes the places you're familiar with.

Helmut pulls up and climbs out. He opens your door for you.

It's not a date. He's just being a gentleman.

He close the door behind you once you're out. You look up down the street, but then look at him confused.

"Where are we going?"

Helmut grins and guides you down the street. You turn a corner and see a restaurant you have never been to. The road is packed with cars, explaining why he parked around the corner, and there is a line of people waiting to get in.

It doesn't look fancy or anything, it's just very clearly a popular spot. You feel you might be a little over dressed, but no one seems to notice as you both walk past everyone.

Zemo is greeted by someone near the door and you're both instantly allowed to go in.

You hold back on your confusion as you follow Helmut to the back of the restaurant. You're taken to a lone table in a corner. You both take a seat.

You stare at Helmut.

He grins at you.

"You have questions," he points out.

"How did we get a table? Did we just skip the queue?"

He chuckles.

"I reserved the table earlier."

"Oh..."

Helmut was far more prepares than you had expected him to be. Not that it was a bad thing. This place certainly seemed nice.

"Order whatever you like, it's on me."

You stare at him again. He looks at you curiously. He raises a brow in a silent question as to what you were thinking.

"This isn't a date... right?"

You could of hit yourself for asking, bit you had to be sure.

"I told you, it's a casual dinner. Did you want it to be a date?" He asks, curiosity oozing from his voice.

You shake your head and pick something from the menu.

Helmut places the order and turns his attention completely to you. He seems to be admiring you, but you have to remind yourself that it wasn't a date. He was probably just waiting for you to say something. Though, he invited you here, you would like to know why.

"Why are we here?" You ask.

"In this restaurant? Or in general?" He smiles.

You chuckle softly and shake your head. "Here, in this restaurant. Why are we having dinner?"

He lifts his head a little higher.

"Do you believe in fate?" He asks.

You furrow your brow.

"What?"

"Do you believe in fate?" He asks again.

"I don't know... why?"

With a bright smile he says, "I do. I think its fate that we met again later that night. I couldn't let an opportunity pass by with the risk of losing a chance to meet you properly. Inviting your group to my home was the beat decision I have made. It allowed me to invite you here. I'd like to think you're being pushed into my path on purpose."

You say nothing as your meals are laid out in front of you.

"Or I may be teasing you, but I am grateful I got to meet you again. A chance encounter led to this. I'd like to know you."

"Why? My friend mentioned you're a Baron, why bother spending time with me?"

He smiles.

"My title has nothing to do with it. I like you, and that's that."

You find yourself smiling as you dog into your meal.

Conversation remains pleasant as you both eat. He asks about you, you ask about him. Laughter comes easily. Stories are shared.

You certainly feel like you made a friend.

After having dessert after he told you he would treat you again, you both got up and left. Helmut escorted you back to the car and drove you home.

Parked outside of your place, you sit there and smile.

"I enjoyed that."

"Me too," he smiles back. "I'm going to the races tomorrow. Would you like to join me?"

"The races?"

"The car races," he clarifies, "I'll be spending the night down there, but I can extend the invitation to you of you would wish to come."

"I can't just pack stuff and go away on such short notice."

"Why not?" He tilts his head.

Why is that cute?

"Because it's short notice....?"

Helmut laughs. It's a full on amused laughter. He even tilts his head back a little bit.

"Live a little," he grins.

You smile.

"How long would we be away?" You ask.

"Just one night. I'll have to be back the dat after. I have some friends to meet with."

You bite your lip softly.

"Alright. One night."

He grins.

"Wonderful. I'll be here first thing tomorrow."

"First thing?" You ask, quickly.

"Yes. It's a few hours drive. We will be better leaving early to enjoy the race in time," he tells you.

"Alright... I'll pack tonight."

He smiles.

You bid him goodnight and climb out of his car, heart racing away in your chest.

Helmut insists you go inside immediately. You want to see him off, but do as he says. You get the feeling he won't leave unless you do.

When you close the door behind you, you lean against it and let out a breath you had been holding.

Your not date was a success, but now you're going away with him for a night? You were crazy!

But maybe a good crazy.

Maybe this was leading to somewhere you would very much like. You smile just thinking about it. You would let things play out and see where they take you.

After all, you liked Helmut Zemo. And he certainly seemed to like you.

@belle82devart @zemosimp05 @telemantis @lieutenantn @mischief-siriusly-managed @luciadiosa @thisworldwecallsleep @heyitsaloy @zem-hoe

[shesawriter39049]

|Breakdown’s & Bugatti’s| M|

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader (Ft a hint of Tae & Jin)

About- Namjoon just does what he has to do to keep you ....calm while at a charity gala!  

OR:

CHAPTER 1 : MEET THE KIMS OF NEW YORK 

**WARNINGS: **Semi public sex, Fingering (F receiving), Minimal prep, Light dirty talk, Light spit play, Choking, Spanking, Gags (Makeshift), Non protective sex (Creampie), light overstimulation

WC: 7K (This is a sneak peak so it’s 1.2k)

NON SEXUAL WARNINGS: (Fictional political background)  Hints at recreational drug use (Molly) Brief mentions of death, father issues, and panic attacks/anxiety (All of these topics are super minor but again, out of respect I’m mentioning them) 

The remaining “characters” will be introduced at a later date

This chapter hints at various future plots 

This is almost 2 years old, I reworked it recently 

If you’ve been following me for a while this is the original draft for “Club First Royale” 

FINAL NOTE: I haven’t been active in damn hear a year ( 8 months) So I am posting sneak peeks intentionally! No, not to torture you guys lol but to get my blog flowing again because I’m sure people aren’t really checking in anymore

OT7 ALTERNATING STORYLINES

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FINALLY, fuck 36737 years later you spot your Kim!

Standing there in all his glory, in a Valentino slim fit navy blue suit, the jacket appearing to have some sort of paisley print, opting against a tie. Leaving his crisp white dress shirt slightly unbuttoned, teasing at his broad carnalized chest as he makes his way from the bar. Heading over to the table, which has an empty seat waiting right beside him with your name written all over it...literally!

Purposely dodging the old lady to your left in a coat that would have PETA ready to throw hands! Gaudy diamonds, terrible Botox, and smelled as if she showered in an entire bottle Chanel No. 5! 

Yeah, no, sorry, not in the mood for another meet and greet right now!

“Joonie” Squeals from your lips once you’re in close enough proximity, his dark piercing eyes cut over to meet yours. A playful smirk tugging on those sinfully thick lips of his, accompanied by those disrespectful ass dimples!

“There she is!” Eyes dripping with warmth, as he ushered you in with open arms ,and in these types of situations, Namjoon felt like home, he was your safe space. “You look fuckin good” The words hushed into your hair in a tenor meant for your ears and your ears only! A hint of something a little more than just friendly playing on his tongue. 

A small little “Thank you” leaves your lips, and if I didn't know any better I’d think the compliment made you a little flustered.

Namjoon was the definition of Ocean arm’s and goddamn if you didn't just love how big this man was! It literally felt like he was hiding you from the entire universe when he has you nuzzled into his frame! The whole interaction couldn't have lasted longer than 20 seconds in all actuality but god you needed it! 

Face flush to his chest, wrapping your arms firm around his waist, letting your eyes flutter shut briefly, a deep slow exhale flooded through your body. Inhaling the musky yet sweet scent of his cologne mixed with his natural aroma, which has grown to become a calming mechanism over the years. 

“You had me worried for a minute…” Placing a quick kiss in your hair, that you would have missed if you blinked but again, your in public soo...

Palms soothing up and down your back gently, as he breathed into your hair , pulling back a little so there was some form of personal space between the two of you.  

“Your late, even for you princess...I know you started early, I got your live(Instagram) notification, so what happened?” Head clocked to the side as he appraises you and fuck, the bass in his voice still has you all types of fucked up! Glancing over your shoulder briefly before leaning up to place a kiss on the hinge of his jaw, that tittered the line of passing as an “innocent” greeting. 

“I’m fine Jonnie it’s nothing, we just got held up in glam.., Ariel was flying in from Miami...we got a late start” Gaze intentionally diverted as you welcomed yourself to his glass of Scotch instead. Damn near inhaling the entire drink as we speak and you hated dark liquor so that alone let him know something was up!  

Merely resisting the urge to smooth out the crease he felt forming between his brows, a dry snort left his lips, rolling his eyes in response to your blatant stubbornness. Nevertheless, always the gentleman, reaching down to pull out your chair so you could take a seat next to him. Mirroring your actions just moments prior, quickly scoping out his surroundings before he brought those plush pillows he calls lips a centimeter away from your ear.

Fuck. 

  “Right, so I'm just going to assume you don’t wanna talk about it right now! Or wait I’m sorry, have you just upgraded to insulting my intelligence straight to my damn face?” 

Brow quirked inquisitively, and you could literally feel every word, tone taking on a hint of seriousness the more he talked. Namjoon licked his lips and the tip skimmed the edge of your ear and I - . 

“For one you smell like an entire bottle of Heidsieck, I can almost taste the nicotine on your tongue and you've been crying I know you. ”  

Pulling back just enough to glare down at you above the brim of his glasses, which he always wore low along his bridge. Eyes daring you to look him in the face a lie again, teasing his fingers through his chocolate locks. Styled in the perfect semi grown out undercut, the top a little on the long side, while the sides tapered into a crisp fade. Sideburns outlining that extremely understated jawline of his! Though you had to admit the yellow gold diamonds dawning his ears were kinda stealing the show right now! 

“So again, do you just not wanna talk about it right now? Or have you forgotten that I have an IQ of 137, and can smell bullshit from here all the way to Gangnam!?” 

You're having very vivid day daydreams of your hand wrapped around this man's windpipe and for once it’s not even remotely sexual! 

Blatantly ignoring the strong twitch within Namjoon’s jaw and simply saying “I’m here, aren’t I!?” Face stoic, tone flat as all hell, in case it wasn’t clear that this conversation was more than over, you opted to eye his bourbon glazed salmon until he got the hint.

 “Oh, for fucks sake! ” Hissed from his lips without a lick of heat behind them, because as quiet as it’s kept ,your lowkey Joon’s baby, which is why he cares to begin with! Picking up a piece on his fork before essentially shoving it into your hand ”Your lucky I can’t have your ass getting sick on me tonight, we still have like, 3 hours left of this bullshit.”

More like he just can’t tell you no, but hey, whatever helps him sleep at night! Sliding his plate in your direction, completely giving up on eating at this point, he knew you needed it more anyway! Finally, starting to feel your mix of poisons hit your system so you knew you needed  to even it out with a little substance. I mean yeah, you could have just ordered your own plate but meh, this was easier! 

Namjoon started busying himself on his phone while you ate, scrolling through a couple contacts until he landed on a contact labeled under “Kookie”.

“Even though you were only late because “Your glam team ran late” There were air bunnies involved, and again you just really wanna choke his ass!  “What are you thinking tonight? He’s actually on his way here right now, but he already has a couple options on him...” 

The question was vague and for damn good reason...considering…

However you knew exactly what he was referring too.., and thank god!

Speaking over a mouth full of salmon, sounding utterly exasperated!  “Honestly, any fucking thing at this point…” 

Namjoon hums thoughtfully, sucking on a Bourbon soaked Ice cube “He’ll be here in 20, I just went with Smartees…always a safe bet...” 

Smartees, candy, Vitamin -E, Molly... Estcasy...it’s all one and the same, just depends on who you ask!

He leans back in, apparently keen on whispering tonight. “Maybe, if your a good girl and eat enough we can split one before we leave...chill you out a little bit. '' Voice thick and heady, lips curling into a grin with a hint of something wicked playing on the ends, as his fingers idly ghost over your forearm. Giving it a light squeeze and regardless of how innocent the skin-ship may seem to the naked eye, you’re well aware of all the underlying innuendos behind it! 

You make a noise of agreement, trying your damnedest to ignore the slight chill coursing up your spine at the pet name. Though before you could even dwell, Namjoon was sliding back in with another update, this one however wasn't as...arousing…to say the least!

“Fox 2’s been waiting for you to get here by the way...since the event was put together by council and all. They've been wanting to talk to us together about the fundraiser, just the same shit as last year.” 

Waving his hand dismissively idly twirling the various pieces of Bvlgari around his fingers, seemingly un-phased while you on the other hand...release the most exasperated huff! Reclining against your seat, eyes rolling to the back of your head in 30 different directions! Yeah, It comes with the territory, you know this, hints Namjoons reaction, or lack thereof!  But fuck you just really weren’t in the mood to do press tonight, It’s literally physically exhausting to pretend that you weren’t just PISSED! 

“Of -fuckin- course they do!” Stabbing your mashed potatoes in a way that's... somewhat concerning… 

“Baby.” It was a warning, though his voice sat barley above a whisper, his tone was crystal! Eyes cutting in your direction briefly before dropping back down to his phone���.

You didn't have it in you to argue, there’s no way around this anyway, fuck it!  “What -the-fuck-ever!” Sliding the half empty plate aside “Well, you wanna just get it out of the way now? Because I’m really not in the mood for-”

“Y/n..oh my god! Hi, honey how are you!? You look beautiful as always…” Suddenly there was a human, a human wearing the wrong shade of foundation kissing your cheek. A human by the name of Caroline, one of the local news anchors...clearly her damn ears were ringing.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi guys, that’s all she wrote, well kinda, actually she finished it like 16 months ago lol but that’s all she wrote for now I guess....

**_

_****Love you...see ya soon!!**

***SIDE NOTE, MY FRIEND MADE THE TWITTER EDIT SO DON’T ASK LOL IDK ****

UPDATE: HEADCANONS FOR THE KIM BOYS/OC

  HEADCANONS

[heybeybey]

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Summary: Forced to retire from the Scouts due to a major injury, Levi thinks he'll be spending the rest of his days in domestic solitude. Petra, however, has another idea.

Loosely based on The Way of the Househusband.

Or: Captain Petra x Househusband Levi canonverse AU

AO3 Link

A/N: Okay I've had this outlined for WEEKS (no ending in mind tho) but I never got around to actually drafting it. But....... I had some time this morning and the inspiration after seeing this post so yay.

Thanks to @sleeperswakewriting for introducing me to The Way of the Househusband. It's cute and funny and DEFINITELY RIVETRA in another universe.

This is going be a drabble series btw but no assurance on when I'll be updating each chapter (My Royalty AU draft is glaring at this fic rn tbh). Some chapters will be based on the Netflix show but Levi's condition is a bit different from Tatsu's so it'll probably be loosely based at best.

And yes, the title is from the song My Girl. But I like this version since I think it fits Petra the most :3

Also also, we all know deep down that Levi wants to be a househusband so here you go.

- - -

Chapter 1: The Ceremonies

There was a time when his mind wandered to how his career in the Scouts would end. Levi always thought he'd die on the battlefield, just as he witnessed among his comrades. He'd accepted that reality, sometimes even waiting for it despite his will to continue fighting on.

For some reason, retiring has never crossed his mind.

"Honorably discharged due to major leg injury, incomplete spinal cord injury, and loss of right eyesight."

He can still hear the pity and sadness from Erwin's voice from that day in the hospital when they talked over where he will go from there. The doctors mentioned that his spine will heal over time, but his leg is broken way beyond repair. It's worse enough that amputation was considered at one point. He'd be good as titan food should he retain his current position in the scouts.

At first, he wanted to scream. He wasn't the type to show some outwardly emotion (except for when he's beating down new recruits or the three males in his squad) but being a part of the Survey Corps is what gave this shit of a life some meaning after he was pulled out of the underground.

Frankly, he didn't know what's next.

"Hey, Captain." Petra's sweet voice snapped Levi out of his thoughts and he forces himself to get out of his bad mood. This was her day and he'd be damned if he ruins it for her.

Levi takes her in and the corner of his lip quirks up. He feels pride fill his chest as his eyes strays a bit on the insignia freshly pinned on her uniform.

"I think I should be the one calling you that, Ral." He replies. "Congratulations."

Wheelchair-bound for what may be the rest of his life, Levi and his squad had to sit down and talk over what's next for the Scout's elites. The obvious choice was Eld, but Levi and the rest of the team were surprised when the blonde man turned down the promotion. He says that while he had the leadership skills and the years of experience that makes him more than qualified, he knew that he didn't have the same burning dedication to the cause as much as he'd witnessed in others.

Eld said that he'd be glad to support the next team captain instead. Oluo, while skilled, had often been too focused on his kill count. Gunther has a strategic mind but didn't really have the charm to bring people together.

So they all turned their attention to Petra.

To be honest, Levi had always wanted to promote Petra as his second-in-command. However, Scout regulations demanded a certain number of years that she didn't have yet at the time he first chose his elite squad. He'd never had a problem with Eld, but his and Petra's ability to synchronise on the battlefield is the reason why he'd always turned to her when he needed a second hand.

It makes sense in his eyes and to the rest of the team, even when Erwin and the other soldiers were doubtful of his choice. They've seen how ferocious Petra is during expeditions, but still had the heart to cry alongside her dying comrades. She's kind and helpful, but knows when a hard decision is needed to be made. She'd pitched in her ideas and opinions every time she accidentally passed by the officers' meeting sessions (she always brought them tea so she sometimes hear the conversations). This was often met with a surprised look from her higher-ups but having worked with Petra for quite some time, Levi would just smirk at his fellow veterans.

She's still rough around the edges and she definitely still has more room to improve, but the potential is there. He wouldn't have chosen her as part of his team in the first place if he didn't see that fire.

He wasn't surprised that Eld, Gunther and Oluo supported her, even when Petra was terrified to accept such a responsibility. Levi was firm in his decision.

In the end, Erwin stamped on his approval.

Levi was the one who pinned the insignia on her signifying her new position during today's pinning-on ceremony.

- - -

"Hey, Captain!"

"I think you should stop calling me that, Petra."

"Sorry. Habit." The ginger blushes slightly as she steps closer inside the apartment, basket in hand. "I bought something for you."

She brings out a few fruits from the basket, laying it down on the dining table in his humble apartment. "The farmer's market was on sale today and I had the chance to pass by before they closed."

"You didn't have to buy me all these, Petra."

"I had to use my pay raise for something, Captain," she jests. He wheels himself towards her to assist her with unloading the basket and they both work in silent contentment.

"So, how's your first day?" Levi asks after washing the fruits. Petra's face lights up at his question and the whole room seems to come alive as she chatters on.

"Holy Maria, Captain. I didn't know the team can be this stupid. No wonder you had dark eyebags after training us for years!"

- - -

It's been three months since he resigned from the Scouts. The new captain never fails to come home to the apartment he's renting near the Scout HQ everyday.

Come home? Tch. How delusional can you get.

He'd welcome her back every expedition and every training day. A part of him feels a bit of guilt gnaw on him when he sees how tired Petra is whenever she comes home, thinking of the time when he was her direct commanding officer.

"Captain, can I sleep here tonight?"

Now, he sees the sorrow and fatigue in her eyes. "You're always welcome here, Petra."

He offers to give up his bed for the night but she declines, saying that she'll be fine on the couch. She's unnaturally quiet, but he knows that this is how she typically is after expeditions.

They're both on the couch right now and she snuggles closer to him. Levi motions for her to lay her head on his lap, their boundaries thinning with every single visit.

He's quiet when he sees the tears start to fall from her eyes. Soon, Petra's sobbing and she wraps her arms desperately around him. His hand starts to slowly run through her ginger locks, hoping it gives her some comfort.

"She was the last in my and Oluo's batch." She starts, voice shaking and he gives her space to talk and mourn her comrade. "I wanted to save her... but it was either her or compromise the mission. I had to give the order."

"I'm sorry." Because if someone understands her better, it's him.

- - -

"Levi?"

It's the scout's day off today and they're all allowed to leave the vicinity to visit friends and family, or simply just to fuck around if they wanted.

Petra, not surprisingly, decides to spend another weekend with him.

"Hmm?" He's currently preparing their lunch, wheeling himself around the kitchen area.

"Did you ever think about settling down when you were still in the scouts?"

He cocks an eyebrow at her question. "And leave a widow crying on my grave? I didn't even have the time to date, Petra."

And he didn't even want to date someone else. Not when he kept having wet dreams about his own subordinate at that time.

"Well, you have a chance now, right?" Petra starts to help with laying down the dishes on the table. He looks at her, eyes taking in her body language. She's doing that thing with her hands again where she tries to occupy it with things to do whenever she's nervous. She's too tense for this to be some absent chatter.

"Just spit it out, Petra."

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm always here. In this apartment. Whether I'm back from training or meetings or expeditions," she starts. Levi wheels himself forward to grab their food from the small kitchen but he attentively listens to each of her words. Seeing that he won't be replying, Petra decides to continue.

"I like coming home to you, Levi. And I'm still devoted to you." Petra nervously says, the redness on her cheeks intensifying. Levi feels his heart thump at her last sentence. He stops what he's doing and looks straight into her amber eyes, the same moment as she reaches out to delicately hold both of his hands. "I'd like to continue doing so... if you'll have me in another way."

Bold as ever is the first thing that fondly came to his mind. He feels emotion start to climb up his throat but he never wavers in staring back at her. The next thing that came to mind wasn't exactly a thought, and the answer leaves his mouth with a certainty he didn't know he had.

"Okay," he quietly replies. Not much of a talker, as usual. Still, his sure answer was quite a surprise to the both of them.

Was it loneliness? That fear that he'd most likely die alone because of his automatic ability to push people away? Maybe it's some deep hidden desire to live a domestic life with someone—something that he allowed himself to fleetingly dream of while he was still in that underground hellhole—that he has since accepted wouldn't be in his future.

Until now.

He and Petra decided to have a shotgun wedding that same afternoon.

[eldritchqueerture]

Point of View - Original Statement Fic

Point of View (5004 words) by LadyNikita Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Original Statement Giver(s) (The Magnus Archives) Additional Tags: Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives), Original Statement (The Magnus Archives), this was intended as the eye but evolved into the vast as well, happens, cosmic horror, attempt at Eldritch Madness, unreality, Discussions of pointlessness and meaninglessness, Canon-Typical The Vast Content (The Magnus Archives), from the eps about space, Mentions of Death, Compulsion, discussions of free will (kind of), Dissociation, Panic, Mentions of addiction, Leitner Book (The Magnus Archives), except it was not possessed by Leitner, Pretty Colours <3, Neurodivergent Protagonist, Queer Protagonist, because I can project a bit as a treat, Can Be Read Without Prior Knowledge of the Podcast (I think)

Summary: "Humans crave understanding. They strive towards knowing more and more, that’s what all science is about, isn’t it? To study, to learn and understand; to seek answers to questions. But are we really equipped to handle the answers we seek? Even if we were able to reach them, are our minds advanced enough to grasp the truths about the world we live in? What if there are things just beyond our understanding, lurking in the shadows of reality, peeking into our world just enough to feed on us, on our uncertainty and our pathetic scrambling towards answers that would only bring madness?" --- Statement of Lyria Ellison regarding a different point of view and the dangers of knowledge.

Notes: Hiiiiii <3 I've been reading Lovecraft recently and as much as I hate the dude, The Colour Out of Space gave me so much inspiration that I immediately sat down and produced this in one sitting. I've been meaning to play with the concept of eldritch madness for a while; something about this trope is really appealing to me and I'm really enjoying my attempts at shaping it with words. Lyria is a preexisting OC of mine, I will give some background on her in the end notes because I love her very much. This is a form of practice for me; I'm playing with horror themes and I'd like to get acquainted with them to better incorporate them into my overall writing. Therefore I will accept constructive criticism if anyone wants to give it, but only in the form of DMs, either on Tumblr (your-queer-vampire-dm) or on Discord, if we know each other through a server. All of the warnings I think should be mentioned are in the tags, but if you think something should be added then please tell me!

Date: May 10th , 2018

Name: Lyria Ellison

Subject of experience: A different point of view and the dangers of knowledge.

—

How do you start telling a story that changed your heart, your mind, and your soul so profoundly that you can barely still function in a society? How do you say all that without sounding borderline insane? Nobody knows what I’ve seen, what I’ve been through. I know they would all say I’ve hallucinated it all and should seek treatment. But I know it won’t help. I know… I know so much now. Too much and not enough. Never enough. I know what happened was real . I don’t have proof so I’m guessing you won’t believe me either, but I need to tell someone about it. So I might as well tell you.

My name is Lyria Ellison and I’m a neuropsychology major. Ex-major, I should say. I dropped out after… Yeah. I dropped out; there’s not much point in continuing studying things about the feeble, insignificant human brain. Utterly pointless venture.

Humans crave understanding. They strive towards knowing more and more, that’s what all science is about, isn’t it? To study, to learn and understand; to seek answers to questions. But are we really equipped to handle the answers we seek? Even if we were able to reach them, are our minds advanced enough to grasp the truths about the world we live in? What if there are things just beyond our understanding, lurking in the shadows of reality, peeking into our world just enough to feed on us, on our uncertainty and our pathetic scrambling towards answers that would only bring madness?

Just a year ago, I was convinced I was going to finish my degree. I was so passionate about it too, eager to learn more and more, to research and seek knowledge. Curious and fascinated by the world around us. What a foolish thing it was to give into that drive. My mind was open to the supernatural, although I always approached it scientifically; I never said the supernatural existed, but I also never said it didn’t. It was plausible; all in all, every scientist must accept that there is still a vast amount of knowledge we don’t have about the world.

The ignorance was a blessing. But I shall not get ahead of myself.

It started around December last year; my dad had died, and my girlfriend, Shawala, and I were clearing out his house. There wasn’t really anyone else to do it; my mother had passed a couple years prior, I had no siblings, and extended family was out of the picture as well; and my dad had gathered a lot of things in his adventurous life; he was a traveller, and he loved the world, loved learning about it, just like me. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with it all; my dad meant a lot to me back then, and Shawala proved an excellent support at that first shock. She promised to do some first view assessments of the ground floor, while I went to scope out how things looked in the attic.

It’s always either basements or attics, isn’t it? I used to read horror, Lovecraftian was my favourite – how ironic, isn’t it? How stupid . How utterly ignorant. The hubris of the human race at its finest.

Anyways, the attic was half-lit from the small windows in the roof, and dust was swirling in the faint light of the afternoon sun. It was cold here, but I didn’t pay much mind; the house was old, and it wasn’t surprising that there was draft. To say the space was cluttered would be an understatement; I could barely walk around the numerous boxes, old furniture, crates, and overflowing bookshelves; all of which made something in my chest curl tight, bringing tears to my eyes. I steered my steps towards the nearest bookshelf; I’ve always been a bookworm, fascinated by nearly any tome I came across; I’ve been reading popular science books since I was eight. So naturally, I was drawn to the books, taking huge steps above the cardboard boxes and careful not to hit anything else.

The books were old, of course, and dusty. Some of them had loose pages, and I treated them very gently, almost reverently. I have a little bit of a bookbinder streak, and I decided I would take them home and try to put them back together. As I rifled through them, I saw they pertained to a vast variety of subjects, from poetry, drama, and history, to science, metaphysics, and maths. The deeper I looked into this stunning collection, the more reverence rose in my heart; at my fingertips I had the oldest and the biggest accumulation of knowledge I had ever seen. I saw some books dated back even two hundred years ago.

At that point Shawala called me to check if I was alright. I put the book I had in my hands back and my knuckles brushed against the black leather cover of the next one on the shelf. I felt pleasant tingling in my palm at the touch and my heart leaped at the prospect; I didn’t know why –  the book seemed ordinary enough on the shelf and there was no title on its spine.

I sometimes wonder if I could have just left it there and gone downstairs; chosen to come back later and then maybe, it wouldn’t have enticed me as it did. If, by that point, I had had any choice left on the matter.

Alas, intrigued by the book, I placed my palm on the spine and took it out. The leather was soft and smooth, probably sheep, with familiar subtle grains all over the texture. I remember it striked me as odd that it was warmer than the rest of the books in the drafty attic, but I shrugged it off. The front cover had a title, small but visible in the centre, etched in gold – Punctum Visus .

I, by all means, cannot read or speak Latin, but I figured it was something to do with vision. I opened the book, an unknown anticipation buzzing in my stomach. The pages were worn and old, their texture was slightly rough but pleasant under my fingertips; as I opened the front page, I saw the title again, this time in thick but still elegant, black letters, and the smell came up to my nostrils.

I tried to describe it in my head countless times after. I always loved the smell of old books, and I knew it very well, so it came to me as a surprise to realize it wasn’t the only smell I could feel from the book. It was… cold, somehow, distant but prickling at my nose, a little bit the way peppermint tastes. It reminded me of the night sky and distant stars somehow. The smell awakened an unease within me, as I couldn’t quite place what it was and why it seemed so weird , but it wasn’t by any means unpleasant. It was… enticing. Like a promise of a mystery.

I breathed it in again through my nose, closing my eyes, and for a moment I lost all feeling in my body. I was untethered and immaterial, somewhere in deep darkness that seemed to envelop me whole. It felt cold on my mind, stretching it thoughtlessly in the empty vastness, and I saw distant flickering lights of stars. Before I could form a coherent thought, I was back in myself, panting and shaking, staring at the front page of the Punctum Visus . I looked around with shaky breaths; the attic looked the same, and Shawala’s steps on the stairs reached my ears, with her voice calling my name. A shiver passed down my spine, causing goosebumps to bloom on my skin; was it the draft, the dread, or the excitement I couldn’t tell.

I knew I had to read this book, no matter what it took for me to do so.

I took it home, almost forgetting about the rest of the books upstairs. It had spent the next month laying in my room, as I dealt with the formalities and moving the rest of things that weren’t sold from the house either to my place or to charity. After the day we left the house for the last time, I collapsed in my bed, exhausted, but instead of closing, my eyes fell on the book unassumingly waiting on my nightstand.

A surge of excitement passed through me, waking me right up. I sat up and reached for the book. It was still warm; I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad, but warm it was. I think it made me subconsciously assign it more… being? Like, even before I knew anything, I somehow subconsciously accepted that it was more than just an object; that it was, in a sense, alive on its own. I brushed my fingers on the cover, feeling the texture of the leather and the etching of the letters. In the meantime during this month I had checked the meaning of the title – Point of Sight; a position from which a thing is or is supposed to be viewed. It makes so much sense now.

But then I didn’t know what dangers it held; or I didn’t want to think about them. I do remember feeling anxious, my hands trembling every time I opened the cover, but it was so mingled with exhilaration of the certainty I was discovering something important that I must have disregarded it. As I turned the pages, I wasn’t surprised to find the text in Latin; though I still felt a pang of frustration that it meant I couldn’t read it for now. I rifled through the pages, looking curiously at the letters that formed words yet unattainable to me. There was a hunger inside of me; a hunger to Know. As I turned the pages past various symbols, illustrations of the constellations, and of Earth, I determined it must be some sort of a metaphysical work. The point of view on the world around us.

Normally I just skim through works like this and leave them. While they are an interesting read sometimes, they’re not my favourite genre and, looking objectively, putting in the effort of learning a whole language just for the sake of reading a treatise on the meaning of cosmos by an unknown author seems strange at best. But somehow it seemed obvious to me that I had to read it. It called to me, sang into a part of my being that begged to be filled, promising knowledge that would finally leave me satisfied. I know now that it’s impossible. Once you’ve tasted the hunger for knowing, you will never find satisfaction; it’s like an addiction. You just crave more and more, and the knowledge never ends. After a certain point you know too much and when it all connects, when it starts to make sense… you slip. I didn’t know that, even though maybe I should have. I didn’t know what those things I was feeling meant then and I didn’t stop to question them; I gave into it as soon as it touched me. I was stupid.

What followed were a busy couple of months. Every waking moment that wasn’t spent keeping up the pretence of being interested in my major (back then I only thought it a brief hyperfixation, of course, and wouldn’t have called it a pretence at all), I was learning Latin online or staring into the incomprehensible words on the pages. This period of my life is a blur; I remember my friends checking up on me if I was alright, since I wasn’t particularly social anymore. Shawala got progressively more worried, but it fully escaped my mind to care. I know that staring thoughtlessly at the book took up more and more of my time; once, I remember, I returned from my classes at three PM and took the book out; when I came back to myself it was well past midnight. That’s when I started to feel truly uneasy about it. It was the second half of April; I looked back on what I’ve been doing these past months and this cold dread started creeping up to my throat. I realized I didn’t know why I wanted to read the book so much and I remembered the “vision” or the hallucination I had that first time in my dad’s attic. I had set it aside completely as unimportant, and I couldn’t wrap my head around why. I started shaking and theorizing in my head about the book being able to influence my mind somehow, to control it. Had my actions not been my own? How much of it was my own will and how much was the book? Was it even possible for it to influence me like that; could it be that it was supernatural in some way?

The house became cold, unnaturally so. It was dark and all the windows were closed, but a chill draft managed to find its way into the corridor I was in anyway. I sank to the floor and hugged my knees, trembling in panic. I was all alone in the flat, everyone I knew was surely already asleep in their homes, and I was small and weak in the face of something that maybe could have controlled my mind. I suddenly became aware of the leatherbound book in my hand, and I threw it along the corridor at the front door with a whimper, as far away from me as possible. The book thumped against the door, then the floor, and opened on a random page.

I’ve read enough horrors. I knew that the page would be significant, and that knowledge made me sob and hug my knees tighter. I didn’t know what was happening; I felt like I’d just woken up from a months-long dream… and perhaps I was right. The recent past felt alien.

I felt tears sting my eyes and that’s when the smell reached me. Again that mixture of old paper and peppermint cold, distantly sweet but freezing the blood in my veins. My breath came in ragged and shallow, and tears streamed down my face as I stared at the open book that was calling me in an inaudible whisper. The logical side of my mind was trying desperately to make sense of it, to assign the dissociative feeling to my father’s death and yeah, it was plausible, but somehow it just didn’t feel right. The whispers sounded again, swirling around my head, the golden sound almost touching the back of my neck, making me wince. It was enticing and promising, but this time, I felt terror instead of excitement. Disregarding how my mind was trying to rationalize the situation, I knew the book was cursed somehow. I knew that I was its victim. And I knew that I would not be strong enough to resist it.

I don’t know how much time I sat there, trembling, and sobbing into my knees, before I calmed down from the panic and decided I had to do something. I had to find out what this book was and how it found itself into my dad’s library. I couldn’t remember seeing anything in his diaries that would mention it at all, but then again, I didn’t read them all cover to cover. On wobbly legs I carefully made my way back to my room and searched the Internet until the sun started peeking out of the window; I found nothing about any book titled Punctum Visus . I tried all the libraries that I’d known of, that had their assortment online, all the research databases; nothing.

So, at the crack of dawn, with a fast-beating heart, I stood in the door of my room, staring out into the corridor, where the book still lay by the front door, unmoving. The golden strings of a wordless melody made it to my ears; it promised an explanation; that this time if I looked close enough, I would find what I was looking for.

What was I looking for?

Where else could I find the answers if not in the book itself?

I could feel its cold fingers slowly wrap around my mind, steering me to come closer. It called me with a hypnotising voice that awakened all the red signals in my brain, telling me to run and hide, but I didn’t. The voice meant danger, but I knew it also meant knowledge.

Dangerous knowledge. The pull dragged me through the corridor step by step; I hadn’t been fighting it as strongly as I could have had and I was about to start, since I was getting closer to the book, but suddenly I felt the chill of the influence let go, hovering close but out of reach. It was still compelling me to come, to Look, but I could move my own limbs. I had a choice to make.

Knowledge of danger. Did I believe my own warning thoughts that I would regret looking into the book? Did I take my own logical, rational side seriously? Was I ever good at resisting my own impulses?

I’ve never been addicted to anything, but then again, I never really had the opportunity, as it were; my friends were more of a no-alcohol types and I really ever smoked cigarettes once. I’ve never seen drugs in real life. So who’s to say if I’m not an addictive personality? And this, this was addictive. The thrill of mystery, the exhilarating process of learning, the anticipation of the answers.

Was it ever really my choice?

No supernatural force guided my steps that night; no cold fingers made me kneel next to the book and carefully cradle it in my arms, looking at the page with a shaky breath and tears in my eyes, as if I was coming back home like the prodigal son. But I’m sure it was by some paranormal means that this time I could understand the text on the pages.

I honestly don’t remember what it said. As I read the unfamiliar words, the meaning presented itself in my mind, not entirely unlike that first “vision” I had in the attic; as soon as I started reading I knew that I had made the choice and there was no turning back. That cold draft enveloped me, sat on my skin, and started to bite; I felt that smell again, stronger than ever before, something intangible but unmistakably inhuman . It was then that I realized that’s what had felt wrong to me about the smell since the beginning. It was inferior and alien. My hands started shaking as my eyes, glued to the text, moved now on their own down the page, drinking the words in. I was terrified out of my mind, but the pleasant tingling along my nerves was back, the anticipation of the promised understanding.

My mind was drowned with the tide of knowledge. This was just a prologue; a true discovery would require preparation, but I was almost ready. The voice said I was chosen, that I was a perfect candidate to bring It what It needs and that I would be rewarded. I cried tears of amazement and horror at the sheer scope of the voice – it seemed to encompass the entire world. I couldn’t comprehend it, but I didn’t know then that it was a blessing. I wanted to know, I craved to know what It was and how I could be of use to something so powerful, so huge. Divine. That was a word that crossed my mind, as much as I don’t like that. I don’t like many things, but I can’t change any of them.

The voice said I’m on the right path. I would Know and Understand. First, I needed to do something. As It told me what that was, doubt started to creep up to my mind. What was I doing? What was happening? How could this be real?

I came to on the floor by my front door, the cursed book in hand, with a tear-stained face and a bloody nose.

I knew what I had to do to get ready and, as I calmed down and went over everything in my head, I was surprised by how trivial it was. Honestly, by this point I was kind of afraid It would tell me to hurt someone, so I was glad this was just about reading a bunch of words in a specific location at a specific time. I was aware of the fact that this was most probably a ritual, and I was quite apprehensive. I kept arguing with myself in my head, over and over whether I should follow through, but deep down I knew that I would, no matter what I told myself. This part, I think, scared me the most; how compelling the promise of knowledge was, how reverently I’d found myself thinking of the book and its owner (which I assumed was the voice), how fanatical some of my thoughts sounded. I’ve never been religious, never really felt idealistic either. I was always focused on facts, on the here and now. Can knowledge be an ideal? Can you be a fanatic of Seeing and Knowing?

How much had I changed since I’d found Punctum Visus in that old attic.

I found a good, quiet spot, on the north-west side of the New Forest National Park near Southampton. I told no one about this, deeming it unimportant. I would come back after my big discovery, I would explain everything. I laugh at myself now; at my naivety.

The night of April 28 th was clear, and the starry sky looked back at me as I parked my car on the road in the forest and locked it. I tied a piece of a long red string to the wheel, not to lose my way in the forest, and started to walk forward. I held the book close to my chest, as if it could protect me from the dark, eerie outlines of the trees, swaying gently on the wind and whatever the darkness around me held. I didn’t light the torch; the moon was nearly full, bathing everything in its gentle light, and besides, for some reason it seemed that the crude yellow light would somehow break the sanctity of what I was about to do. I could see the ground in front of me and managed to lose sight of my car and everything else besides trees pretty fast.

I stopped when I found a small clearing. The moon was high in the sky, shining down on me like a big eye; I didn’t know why this comparison seemed the most fitting, but it did. I took a deep breath, feeling a chill plant little dots all over my skin, making my hairs stand on end. The wind died down and the trees froze, as if in anticipation. I felt something watching me closely; I was not alone here anymore.

The realization made my breath catch in my throat and the last streaks of sanity broke through my thick skull. Run! Drop the book and run! I didn’t. My hands trembled, my muscles tensed, and I stood there, frozen with fear as something stared at me, seemingly for eternity. Something bigger than me, bigger than anything I have ever seen was watching me, waiting. My eyes dropped to the book in my arms. The black leather was warm, as always, but this time I felt a pulsating sensation from it. A heartbeat.

I screamed. The book landed discarded on the ground, and I stumbled backwards and tripped, landing in the grass as well. It was cold and wet, and it glistened with something in the faint moonlight. At first I took it for water, but upon closer inspection I saw it was the grass itself that glittered – a shy rainbow, glowing iridescently in an impossible way. I froze, stunned, for I have never seen such colours before. It seemed utterly alien, something unfitting for the human eye to see; simultaneously beautiful and horrifying.

As I looked around, I noticed that everything alive in the forest – the trees, the grass, the bushes, the plants – had taken on that iridescent mixture of faint light that prickled my eyes and sent a shiver of terror down my spine. It was beautiful, utterly gorgeous in a way that nothing a human eye can perceive could be. It was horrifying in how different, alien, and other it was. My senses could tell this is not of the Earth; not of this reality, not of this world; everything in me that still had common sense tried to recoil from the inferiority of this magnificence and the danger it brought, but I had abandoned common sense a while back. Maybe even when I touched the book for the first time. I stared then, breathless and trembling, at this scenery as if from a fairy tale and decided to lock away my rational thoughts. I wanted to See, to Know; I wanted to experience and if this was the death of me then hell, it was a pretty good way to go. To behold such a sight, I thought, was a reward in and of itself.

Of course, I had no idea what any of it meant. I slowly rose to my knees and patted the ground down until I felt the book. It still pulsated with this heartbeat and the letters etched in the leather glowed with golden light. My hands were sweaty, and I didn’t know whether I was shivering from fear or the cold. I opened the book on the first page.

What I saw was not what I had expected. I remembered that the first page, after the titular one, was the beginning of the introduction, that much I had understood, but now it was a big picture in black and white; a night sky, with an almost full moon and strewn with stars. It was a shot from the ground and treetops could be seen at the edges of the picture. As the book swayed in my hands, the stars glittered, and the perspective shifted ever so slightly, as if it was in 3D. Stricken by a surge of dread and cold certainty, I looked up. My suspicion was right – the picture in the book depicted the exact image that was now above me. I gasped quietly and looked down at the book—

And this is where things started to really go horribly, horribly wrong.

The book was gone. What’s more, the ground was gone too and suddenly everything was not where it should have been. I blinked but it did nothing to ease the dizziness; and when I composed myself enough to register what I was seeing I froze, the most intense horror I have ever experienced crushing my body from all sides and inside out.

I realized that I was Seeing. I was finally Seeing, and I Understood it all.

I don’t know how to convey in words what I saw. I don’t believe it’s possible; humans were never made to see and understand such things. I should have never touched the book, I should have never asked for knowledge. All my life I believed that knowledge was the point; it was a tool, and it was power. I don’t know what I think anymore. I think some knowledge should always be hidden because we were not made to know everything. We can’t , it’s physically impossible for us to comprehend.

For one moment in my life. For one moment I became something else, and I saw the world in the way It sees the world. For one moment I shared a mind with an eldritch being, a thing that is Fear itself, and I saw the Earth through Its Eye. I can’t… I can’t tell you just how horrible it is. How… How meaningless; we’re all intertwined things, guided by strings of web that lead us through life, and we’re all connected in this maze of fear . We’re not individuals; we’re not special. We don’t have souls and none of our experiences matter. We’re just fear. These… These entities are a part of all of us. They’re our fear and they live inside of us, inside of every living creature that can feel fear. Can you comprehend that? How can you be sure you are yourself when there’s a cosmic entity, a power as old as life itself, living you ? And no one has any idea. Nobody knows and if I tell someone they’ll think I’m crazy. Sometimes I think I’m crazy. But deep down I know what I saw. I know it was real. And I’m terrified. I’m terrified because I know that this Being of eyes that I became a part of watches everything I do. I feel Its presence here very strongly, and I guess it makes sense. It will never leave me. It’s a part of me, just like the rest of them; just like they’re all a part of every one of you, yet you have no idea. But I know. And I know I’m all alone with that knowledge, the knowledge that I can’t comprehend, but I know I could in that one moment. It’s a very lonely place to be and I’m scared.

I’m scared as I have never been before; this fear doesn’t leave me anymore. Every second of every day I’m aware I’m watched by something as great as cosmos. I’m aware I shared my mind with that being and it makes my skin crawl.

I don’t know what to do now, but I don’t expect any advice from you. I’m leaving the book with you, as proof. Its heart doesn’t beat anymore, and I’ve seen what I was supposed to.

Don’t read it.

Notes: If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving me a comment!! For people interested in a little bit of background: Lyria is a D&D character I have created that still awaits her chance to play in a campaign. She's an arcane scholar that has a dark little secret of actually being a warlock of a being she doesn't know a lot about. She's in love with knowledge and she seeks to learn about her powers as well as the world around her. I'm currently DMing a Ravenloft campaign and I just couldn't miss the fact how much potential for a corruption arc she has. Then I listened to TMA and I was like, she would definitely become the Avatar of the Beholding.

[alyasgf]

Reveals?

Part 5 of Everything’s Gonna Be Okay || Masterlist

Word Count- 2615

AO3

Notes- Crazy how I’ve had this chapter drafted for the longest. I went through a spout of hating all of my writing so I wasn’t really motivated. I pretty much just wrote Alyanette until I felt confident enough to continue this so,, yay here we are a couple months later, sorry for the wait.

Begin

She’d never say it aloud, but she adored her partner. She admired him for his optimism, loyalty, and how stupidly brave he could be during battles.

As she detransformed on her bed her mind also wandered to Adrien. It did that a lot recently, flipping back and forth between both blonde boys. It confused her heart, but still she knew it belonged to Adrien, as it always had, as it always would. With his soft laughs and softer smiles, Marinette couldn’t believe she was lucky enough to have him.

She laid there, staring up dreamily toward the night sky and holding her hands to her heart until a shadow obscured her view.

She heard a small knock and smiled. Did this stray ever go home?

She opened her sky light and stuck her head out.

“To what do I owe the pleasure savior of Paris?”

In the dim moonlight she could see Chat’s eyes crinkle as he smiled.

“I request your company, and perhaps some sustenance?” He said in an overly formal tone as he kneeled before her.

She laughed before inviting him in.

As he climbed down into her room she could see the glow in his eyes. Something about him was different, he seemed happier.

Most of the times that he would come Marinette could see a lonely sad look break through when he thought she wasn’t looking. It’s not that she minded of course, if she could be a form of comfort for Chat like he was for her she’d take it in a heartbeat.

“I have some chocolate pastries here, although they aren’t too fresh.” She offered him as he crossed the room over to her desktop. She didn’t normally make a habit of keeping food in her room, but Tikki had been snacking. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind too much if Chat stole a few.

“Sounds great Marinette.” He called over his shoulder as he sat in her desk chair and sat in front of her computer.

“What do you say we find some two player game on here and- oh.” Chat stopped mid-sentence and Marinette turned around from grabbing a pastry to see what had happened.

Apparently she forgot to close out the folder of Adrien’s ad photos she had saved on her computer.

She turned bright red as she ran over to the computer and quickly closed it out.

“That’s uh... research! Yeah research on some Gabriel designs!” She lied, facing her back towards Chat so he wouldn’t notice the blush now spreading down her neck.

“Right, well if it were research on Gabriel designs, why only have pictures of Adrien? Other models wear Gabriel brand clothes.” She could practically hear the teasing smirk on his face.

She turned to wack him softly on the shoulder. “Keep on this topic and I’ll make you watch me eat the pastries right here!” She threatened.

Chat held his hands up in mock surrender. “Woah so sorry Adrien Agreste fan #1.” He teased again.

In response Marinette took a large bite out of the pastry she had planned to give him. She made sure to make a show of it, with accompanying sound effects and an exaggerated sigh after she finished chewing.

“Marinette you wound me!” Chat whined, crossing his arms in a dramatic childlike fashion.

Marinette stopped to think about how adorable his pout was before she laughed and went to grab the second pastry.

“Test me again and there will be no more sweets when you come over.” She bluffed.

Chat practically snatched the snack from her hands.

“Then I’d have no reason to come back.” He said through a stuffed mouth.

“No, I think you enjoy my company too much.” She gloated before pulling up a chair beside him. “Now what game did you want to play?”

They spent the next two hours playing fireboy and watergirl, where Marinette was shocked to find they made an incredible team.

——————————————

The akuma was hard, there was no denying that. The akuma called itself Obedience. Anyone struck with its ray was forced to do what ever it said, as though playing a game of simon says with dire stakes.

Marinette regretted staying up so late with Chat the night before. How he managed to have the amount of energy he did was astounding.

Chat had already used his cataclysm and Ladybug had used her lucky charm to set up a trap, all they had to do was lead Obedience into it.

Unfortunately, they needed to charge up before that, seeing as the beeping of their miraculous was giving its final warning before it was going to give up.

They landed on a distant building and de-transformed behind opposite sides of a pillar.

“M’lady do you have any extra snacks? Plagg ate up all his cheese before the battle and I didn’t have time to restock.” Chat called from the other side of the stone divider.

Ladybug giggled. “Looks like you need to learn how to control your friend Chaton. Here.” She reached out with a macaroon for Chat to take.

Her curiosity got the best of her and she couldn’t help but admire his hand as he reached over to take the sweet.

Soft and flawless, other than the messy blue nail polish that glowed in the sunlight. At first she didn’t think anything of it.

“Going for a new look kitty?” She asked lightheartedly as Tikki refueled.

“What? Oh you mean my nails. Well, I had someone paint them for me yesterday and I guess I distracted them too much and they made a mess.” He replied absentmindedly.

Wheels began to turn in Marinette’s brain, but unsure as to why, she didn’t try to make them stop.

“Oh, someone painted them? They look cute, did someone finally take in this alley cat?”

“For someone who hates puns, you really do use a lot of cat related metaphors toward me bug. And as a matter of fact I do, and she’s my girlfriend.” He bragged. “Plagg claws out!”

Ladybug transformed as well and was going to make a joke before a few dot connected before her. Messy blue nails. A girlfriend who painted them the day before. That nail polish looked all too familiar. She tried to push it down, but the dots were already connected.

Suddenly she flashed back to Chat Noir seeing her folder of Adrien photos last night and she felt sick to her stomach.

“Hey bug? You ready to kick this akuma Chat style?”

Ladybug snapped out of her trance. Even if everything that she just thought of was true, there was still an enemy to defeat. She could fully panic later.

“I think you mean Ladybug style. Now let’s go.”

They only just managed to get to the Eiffel Tower before they heard her again.

“Where are you Ladybug and Chat Noir? Don’t you know good children come when they’re called?” Obedience sang from a few streets over.

Chat strode over to lure her to the trap.

“Well maybe this kitty needs to be put in time out.” He replied leaning on his baton juvenilely.

“Oh no sweet boy, bad children must be taught better!” She pointed cane at him and an array of vegetables began to shoot out at him.

“Oh no! I’m afraid already perfectly healthy ma’am!” He leapt and dodged as he lead her straight to Ladybug.

As he turned the corner, there she stood, hands defiantly on her hips a couple of feet away. He scampered around a very large pool of a certain substance that was hardly noticeable unless you knew what you were looking for.

He took his side beside his lady as Obedience followed behind him.

“I’ve got you now tomcat!” Obedience turned the corner too fast and slipped straight into the street filled with a ridiculous amount of oil.

She screamed as she slid, and in her fall her cane flew from her fingers. It’s momentum led it straight toward them. Ladybug stopped it with the bottom of her shoe, and stomped on it with a satisfied grin.

Once she let the akuma go and threw the now empty bottle of oil to reverse the effects of the akuma, she turned to Chat.

“Pound it!” She said it with her usual confidence, but Chat could see something else lingering in her eyes.

But he was supposed to be practicing piano at the moment so he didn’t exactly have too much time to question her about it.

“Pound it.” He replied, touching his fist to hers.

————————-

“Tikki spots off.”

Ladybug de-transformed in her room and immediately began pacing.

“Crap crap crap crap! Tikki I accidentally figured out his identity! How could I be so careless as to look at his hands? Why did I care that much.”

Tikki sighed as she sat on Marinette’s desk. Sometimes it was best to let her get it all out.

“Well obviously I cared that much because Chat Noir is my recently established boyfriend! God he’s going to get such an ego boost when he finds out we’re dating.” Marinette threw herself face first into her chaise.

“So you’re going to tell him?” Tikki zipped over to hove beside her holder’s head.

There was a muffled response from the chair.

“What was that Marinette?”

“No, not yet. First I want to see how much he knows, if he knows anything at all.” Marinette rolled over on the chaise, laying as though she were at a therapists appointment.

“Tikki do you think this will effect our relationship? Will it put us in danger?”

Tikki’s little heart warmed.

“Marinette, you guys will be fine. If anything I think this would bring you closer together. If it puts you in any more danger you’ll handle it together, like you always do.” Tikki flew closer to hug Marinette’s cheek and Marinette let out a deep sigh as she brought a hand up to hug Tikki back.

“Thanks Tikki. You’re the best kwamii anyone could ask for.” Marinette said as the stress melted off of her.

“And you’re the best Ladybug I’ve ever known.” She replied warmly.

Of course things would work out. This was Chat she was talking about, Adrien. There wasn’t a problem he couldn’t help her solve, with or without the masks.

————————-

After going over Tikki’s advice for what felt like hours, Marinette came to a conclusion.

She would tell Chat Noir (Adrien?) who she was. It was only fair, considering she knew his identity. She wouldn’t have came to this on her own, so for the millionth time in her life she thanked Tikki.

But first, she needed to have a little fun. She noticed how Adrien would tease her lately for how flustered she got around him, so she figured the least she could do was use this moment to get revenge.

Too excited to sit still, she transformed to confront her boyfriend.

———————

Adrien was laying in bed reading manga when he heard a tapping at his window. He looked over in shock to see his lady waiting outside.

“Ladybug?” He nearly stuttered out.

She was glowing in the moonlight, backlit in all her glory. She had a playful grin in her lips that made Adrien uneasy.

“Hey pretty boy, mind if I pop in?” She asked casually, as if it were totally normal for Adrien Agreste to have a spotted heroine outside of his window.

He calmed his heart, remembering this was his dorky girlfriend and invited her in. He had to remember to act friendly, not like he would with Marinette, nor like he would as Chat Noir. This wouldn’t be easy.

“Your nails look cute.” She offered casually as she sauntered over to sit in his desk chair.

Adrien froze. Ladybug had noticed Chat Noir’s earlier too.

He quickly pushed that thought away. Marinette had been oblivious of his identity up until this point, even after the thousands of clues he’d managed to drop. He wasn’t exactly concerned anymore.

He decided to take advantage of the chance to compliment his girlfriend without her being able to completely reject it.

“Yeah my girlfriend painted them! She’s so cute and sweet and pretty.” He replied dreamily.

He could see Ladybug’s eyes widen and her blush grow. This was going great.

“Did you need something?” He asked innocently.

“I- uh-“ Adrien laughed, his girlfriend really wasn’t too different outside of the suit. Flustered and flushed, she was still Marinette.

Suddenly something in her eyes changed. One second they were wide and almost panicked, the next they were full of suspicion.

“You know don’t you!” She accused more than asked. She stalked over and jabbed a finger lightly into his chest.

Now it was Adrien’s turn to panic.

“Know what?” He asked, hoping to play dumb.

“You do!”

So much for feigning innocence. Instead he opted for begging for forgiveness.

“Marinette, i’m so sorry! It’s just I knew you’d panic if I told you when I found out and it’s not like I tried to figure out your identity! It’s just that you put so much effort into the whole kwamiibuster scheme-“

“You’ve known since kwamiibuster?!” She practically shouted.

“-and you looked so cute.” Adrien added still trying to lighten the blow. “I didn’t tell anyone and I’ve known for a while and nothing bad happened so I figured-“

Ladybug cut off his rambling with a kiss.

Adrien was stunned at first but then ultimately sighed into the kiss as he leaned into her touch. His arms looped around her waist as he pulled her close, hands tracing patterns into her spandex covered back.

He pulled pack slightly, noses still touching. He could feel her breath ghost his lips.

“So we’re okay?” He asked hopefully, eyes looking deep into hers as they caught their breath.

“Of course, minou. I just wish you would’ve told me before you saw that embarrassing folder on my computer.” She blushed.

“Oh? But then I wouldn’t be able to tease you about it. Tell me, which one was your favorite? Do you think the greens really brought out my eyes?”

“You’re the worst!” She exclaimed, attempting to pull from his embrace. Adrien’s arms held her fast in place.

“You love me!” He announced proudly as he pulled her into a tight hug. “Ladybug is dating Chat Noir!”

“Would you be quiet! I don’t want to have to explain to Nathalie why Paris’ superhero is standing in your room.” She giggled into Adrien’s shoulder.

“Ladybug is dating Chat Noir” He whispered, this time softer as he nuzzled her neck.

“Yes she is.” Ladybug sighed, resigning to Adrien’s touch.

“Now,” He released the girl as he turned and clasped his hands together. “de-transform. We’ve had plenty of date night in your room-“

“Those weren’t technically dates” She interjected.

“-And not enough in mine.” He gave her a pointed look as he continued. “Of course, since it’s my room, I have full say in what we watch.” He could hear Marinette’s pout as she de-transformed. “But I’ll take suggestions.”

Marinette crossed over to where Adrien was pacing in anticipation and threw her arms around his shoulders from behind. She placed a quick kiss on the base of his neck.

“New Girl again!” She said excitedly.

“No.”

[moldisgoodforyou]

lost time (chapter 7.5)

hi!! here is a bonus mini chapter that I never included but found in my drafts and thought was fun. enjoy!! 

wordcount: 1.4k

______

“Hey, Rafe.” Sophie interrupted Rafe’s reading.

They’d taken to studying together if they had extra work to do outside of the work for just their class, and always reserved the same study cubicle, falling into a habit. They traded off with who brought the coffee each week - she hoped he hadn’t noticed that when it was her week to buy, she got the cheapest thing possible for herself and his usual order. Every time it was his turn, he’d surprise her with something new, ranging from a new kind of latte to try or a scone in addition to her order.

“Yeah?”

She started tapping her foot, a little anxious, and carefully worded her question. “If, hypothetically, you were to be asked out to a date party, how would you want the girl to ask?”

He lifted his head from his book slowly. “You’re asking someone out?”

Sophie immediately grew defensive, especially at the way he raised his eyebrows. “It’s none of your business, but yes, for my date party on Friday. His name is Daniel. He plays baseball.”

Rafe couldn’t ignore the tinge of jealousy he felt as she blushed. “Daniel Miller?”

“Yeah.” She cocked her head, intrigued. “You know him?”

He nodded, treading carefully. “He’s in a couple of my classes.”

“What do you think about him?” She perked up a little, clearly interested.

He smirked, leaning closer across the table. “I thought you said it was none of my business.”

She crossed her arms, leaning back in her seat. “I’m just...curious.”

“He’s nice.” Rafe didn’t give her any more. He was exactly that, just nice, but in his opinion, Sophie deserved more than just nice. Someone more interesting, someone that could hold an argument against her, someone -

“Rafe.”

“Huh?” He snapped out of his reverie, giving her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, distracted.”

“What could you possibly be distracted by?” She furrowed her brow, glancing around their small study cubicle.

He blushed, shaking his head. “Nothing. You had a question?”

“Oh! Right. You think it’s fine if I just text him, right? We only met a couple months ago and he gave me his number, and I never even did anything with it - stupid, I know -”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just text him.” He cut her off, not wanting to discuss her date any longer. She nodded, giving him a grateful smile. “Cool. Thanks.”

“Any time.” He forced a smile back, though it came out as more of a pained grimace.

“Is it too eager to text him today? It’s only Monday...” She pondered out loud.

“Yeah, wait. ‘Til Wednesday, at least.” He turned his attention back to his book, frowning, and Sophie nudged his foot under the table after a couple minutes. “Rafe?”

He looked up, a little exasperated. “What, Soph.”

“Just...thank you. I’m glad we’re friends.” She told him, a little shyly.

He relented, nodding with a real smile. “Yeah. Me too.”

_______

Later that night, Rafe came back to his room with a sour expression and a huff when he let the door slam shut behind him.

“Fought again?” James asked sympathetically, preparing himself to talk about Sophie for the next hour. This had been a recurring theme over the semester, and he was accustomed to it by now.

“No, worse.” Rafe flopped onto the couch next to Colin, who handed him a video game controller. Rafe was absolute shit at video games, so it was rare Colin let him play - a true gesture of pity. “She’s asking Daniel Miller out.”

“So?” James pushed.

“So, that’s - she’s my -”

“Your study partner.” Colin finished. “That’s it.”

Rafe scowled, feeling uneasy. “She’s my...friend,” he settled. “She’s my friend, and I don’t want her to get treated poorly.”

“I like Daniel, he’s cool. Don’t you remember we did that group project last year?” Colin countered, confused at why Rafe was so thrown.

James was a bit more sensitive to Rafe’s feelings, having been in a relationship himself. “When’s the date?”

“It’s Friday.” Rafe perked up a little. “Wait, hold on. What if I set him up with some other girl on a date, and then he wouldn’t be able to go?”

Colin shot him an incredulous glance. “You’re gonna do all that just so your friend can’t go out with him? Man, I didn’t think you had that big of an issue with him.”

James threw a pillow at Colin’s head. “Shut up, dumbass. Bad idea, Rafe.”

“No, no. Not a bad idea at all, she’ll never know.” He argued, already pulling out his phone.

“Maybe not, but what’s the point? She’ll just find someone else to go with.” Colin pointed out, then paused as he realized. “Wait, Rafe, no.”

“Exactly the point, buddy.” He grinned, and both boys rolled their eyes. “She’s not going to ask you,” James pointed out.

“But there’s a chance. Or I offer to be her date, since Daniel is too busy. It’s golden.” He was already typing out a text to a girl he was friends with from class that had flirted with him a couple times, hoping to redirect her attention.

Colin grabbed the phone out of his hands quicker than he could hit send. “No. This is embarrassing, dude, check yourself.” Rafe clambered for it, shoving at Colin while he shoved back, trying to wrestle the phone out of his grip.

“Fall invitational!” James exclaimed.

Both boys paused. “What?”

“They have the fall invitational this weekend, their exhibition game to show off the new stadium. He’ll be busy anyways.” James explained eagerly. “Win win. You don’t mess with her, she just doesn’t know he has something going on.”

“Oh.” Rafe sat back, satisfied. “Good call.”

“You need to get a grip, Cameron.” Colin told him, shaking his head.

______

“Hey, Soph.” Rafe acknowledged, sliding into the seat next to her in class and handing her a coffee. Just having him near made her feel overwhelmed - his knee was practically touching hers and his cologne was nearly overpowering, it felt hard to concentrate.

“Cameron.” She nodded politely. She’d just received a text back from her almost-date, a rejection. Her shoulders were slumped and she kept clicking her pen anxiously, surely annoying every single classmate around her. “Is that for me?”

He reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, forcing her to still. “Yeah. You good? Tired, or something?”

“Oh. Thank you. Um...” She trailed off, unsure how much she wanted to divulge, but something in Rafe felt like a comforting presence for her. (He always had been, she realized, even when he drove her up the wall.) “You know how I told you about that guy, Daniel? That I was going to ask out?”

He cocked his head, pretending to not know. “Kind of remember, yeah. Did he say yes?”

“No, he’s busy.” She sighed. “Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but. His text was kind of short with me, he said something came up. I guess he wasn’t interested.”

“Oh.” Rafe drummed his fingers on the table, biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t smile. “That’s too bad, I’m sorry. When’s your party again?”

“Friday, now I have to find a date in two days or go alone.” She wrinkled her nose.

“I don’t have weekend plans.” He offered, hopeful.

It went right over her head. “Sounds like I’m not going to either. I just wanted to dress up and dance with somebody.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, disappointed she didn’t pick up on his incredibly subtle hint. “Yeah? Sounds fun.”

“They are.” She sighed, resting her head in her hand, propped up by her elbow on the desk as the lecture began. “Plus I was kind of hoping to get laid.”

Rafe nearly choked on his sip of coffee he had just taken, drawing attention from the professor. “Alright, Mr. Cameron?”

“Christ, um, yes. Yes ma’am. Sorry.” He apologized, stiffening when Sophie brushed her hand against his knee under the table, whispering, “You good?”

He nodded quickly and turned in his chair away from her - unable to think about anything but her for the rest of the class.

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