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camilliar · 7 years

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2, 12, 13, 18, 25

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

This got long, enjoy a nice cut:

I wrote South Park fic about Kyle being a trans guy that I really should not have put on the internet. They’re on my LiveJournal if you really want to go on a trek to hunt them down, or I don’t mind telling you where to find them; the only reason they’re not f-locked is that I got requests from people to read them. I don’t know why this is so embarrassing to me; possibly it’s because they’re not, like, good stories about South Park characters so much as they were part of me working through my own shit. (Newsflash, you never stop working through your own shit.) I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using fiction, fan or otherwise, as a coping mechanism, or as a tool, or whatever, but these stories are very much just an autobiography filtered through other people’s characters. THAT SAID this is very in-character:

“Do you think there’s a crossword in the magazine?” Stan asks.“I don’t know,” says Kyle, “why don’t you check?”“I love reading SkyMall!” Butters rifles through the seatback pocket until he finds it, tearing it open. “A kitty litter box that’s also a fake plant? Ha! Boy, what will they think of next?”“How long is this flight?” Kyle asks.“Too long,” says Stan; once beverage service begins he notices that his parents buy bloody marys, though it is not even noon yet.“It’s a brunch drink,” Stan’s mother insists, when she spots him staring at her. “It’s noon in Florida.”“We’re still over Nebraska!”“Oh, I’m sorry,” says Kyle, “did you want to have a conversation over me? Because if so we could just switch.”“No!” says Stan, “it’s fine. Sorry.”

I was going to finish a part 3/3 to this series and was so embarrassed that it is, to date, the only fanfic I have ever just totally decided to quit.

What I will say is that I think the kind of trans 101 elements of these dumb fics are the kind of trans 101 “it’s okay to be trans” narratives OMGCP gives props to, so, right topic, wrong fandom, or maybe right personal drama, wrong cultural moment.

12) your weaknesses as an author

In my public non-fandom life I’m great at killing my darlings but I need to do a lot better in fic. I can’t cut 1000 words of sassy dialogue because I know people want to read those 1000 words even if it makes my fic shittier! And the longer the better with fic! Except, wrong, not true, I need to get over this.

13) your strengths as an author

I will not post WIPs anymore. I will not post longform fic that hasn’t been finished and beta read and revised and Brit-picked if necessary. I think it’s worth debating whether this is worth doing at all, because it takes me a long time to write and then revise a lengthy story, and I do absolutely get the value in posting fic serially as you write it; so much of fandom is communal and so much of it is an immediate response to recent developments in the media you’re all concurrent following. But even if I don’t get the instant gratification of waiting for reviews to come rolling in from subscribers, or whatever, I’m so happy with this decision. I hate having the weight of WIPs bearing down on me, and making that a public thing has never helped me. Every fic I’ve put up since 2014-ish has been a totally complete fic that I knew was the best job I could possibly do, and I guess what I’m really saying is that after many years of doing this I figured out how to make it more workable for me and adopted that as a strategy instead of worrying about playing some kooky game.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

I was so struck by the writing of Alan Hollinghurst that I’m 300k deep on a batshit 1980s AU. I’ve said this elsewhere, albeit not on this blog: at first I really was just trying to ape his style and voice, but what I learned was that there’s more strength in pastiche than in outright parody, and that’s how you write a crossover or a tribute.

In South Park fandom, @hollyhark wrote such pervasively popular fic that I went through a period in like 2014-2015 where I was taking cues from her, trying to write happy endings to stories that ended with like ~*~*happy weddings*~*~ and bloodless resolution. I’m glad I tried this because it was hard and I greatly value an experiment, and I like to push myself, and maybe it helped me understand her writing better? Maybe? But it also just clarified that I’m an edgelord and my fic is pretty bloody and that’s fine and true to my worldview. But, you know, I like a challenge. I don’t think I ever would have done this if not for like, talking with her directly about fandom expectations and formulae.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

I’m not proud of anything so I just spent an hour reading all of my OMGCP drafts and tried to find something that works without a lot of context. This is from a Bitty/Parse fic I may or may not ever finish:

“I’ve been to meet with the coaches,” Alicia says, and Kent believesher. She spends a lot of time away now. She counts on her fingers: “We’ve had afew meetings. Myself, coaches Murray and Hall, their director for plannedgiving and vice president for admissions and financial aid. They want moremoney out of me, I can tell. If they want it, they’d better come up with thingsthey can name after Jack, I told them. They won’t change the name of the rink,I asked.” She sighs. “It’s called Faber. I understand that. Whoever Faberwas—it’s always been Faber. When I was there, it was Faber. Not that I spent alot of time at Faber.” She keeps saying Faberin a heavy way, like she’s angry at the rink or at whoever this Faber was inthe first place, for dying first or whatever Faber did to get his or her nameon the building.

“Jack wouldn’t want his name on a building,” Kent says, as if thismight console her. “He really wouldn’t want people saying his name all the timelike that.”

Alicia smiles, because she knows Kent’s right.“Jack wanted a lot of things,” she says, because—Jack wanted a lot of things,and he got most of them, but a lot of good that did.

#meta

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funface2 · 5 years

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The Office: 10 Funniest Quotes From Stanley | ScreenRant – Screen Rant

When it comes to TV shows there are characters and then there are real characters, you know? And, when it comes to The Office, every one of their characters falls into the latter category of characters. All of the people on The Office are hilarious, and they all bring their own specific qualities and senses of humor to the series. While every single one of them is memorable and unique, Stanley Hudson is one character who has always occupied a special place in our hearts.

RELATED: The Office: 10 Times Angela Was Actually Nice

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10 “It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I’ll say it to my next one, too.”

Not to start off this list by totally dissing Stanley Hudson, but it’s kind of shocking that someone as curmudgeonly and antisocial as Stanley has managed to find a wife, let alone multiple wives. It’s not that shocking that Stanley would be completely unwilling to apologize to someone unless he thinks he’s wrong, however, and it seems like a safe bet that Stanley thinks that he’s wrong in any given situation approximately 0% of the time.

But maybe he will eventually find a wife who can just deal with the fact that Stanley never says he’s sorry, or maybe Stanley can just move to Florida and live his best life alone.

9 “I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself.”

Leave it to Stanley to come up with such a colorful way of expressing something that literally every person on earth who has ever had a job has experienced at least once before. Stanley has the energy level and competitive nature of a turtle on morphine, but when Michael announces the beach day competition to claim his managerial job once it’s vacated, Stanley is immediately ready to throw down—hard.

And after years of suffering as one of Michael Scott’s employees, it’s pretty easy to understand why he’d be ready to shed blood in order to ensure he’s the king of the castle for the forseeable future.

RELATED: The Office: 10 Times Dwight Was Actually Nice

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8 “I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today.”

Some diabetics might just eschew the cake eating in order to avoid danger… or at least find a sugar free option or something. Some people might say that not eating sugar when it could potentially kill you is the smart thing to do, but Stanley knows the truth. There is no need to stop living your best life just because it’s medically necessary.

When you’re living your life as an office drone where there are almost no joys in the work experience, then it’s important to find those little joys anywhere you can, and, just like Stanley demonstrates here, it’s important to be ready when happiness comes.

7 “I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I’m constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don’t get sore too? Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?”

Well, there’s a lot of information to unpack here… so maybe we should just throw away the entire suitcase. Stanley constantly being hungry, having swollen ankles, and needing emergency assistance on a fairly regular basis is the kind of information that the normal human mind can handle, but sore nipples? Why? How? What sort of dark pact with the devil would cause such a bizarre physical side effect?

It’s no surprise that Stanley hates pregnant people because he seems to hate people in general, but perhaps he could be a little more empathetic with them since he understands their physical experience so deeply.

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6 “You Are A Professional Idiot.”

Here’s a fun game to play, which employee of The Office is Stanley referring to when he said this classic Stanley quote? And question number two, does it even matter? If you guessed he was talking to Michael Scott, then you’d be right, but, realistically speaking, we all know that Stanley would say that to literally any person in the office.

Some people might ask themselves “well, then, if my boss is a professional idiot, then what does that make me?” However, no one would expect Stanley to delve into that kind of self-reflection, and he’s obviously content with just dragging everyone around him within an inch of their lives.

RELATED: The Office: 5 Reasons Jim And Pam’s Relationship Wouldn’t Last (& 5 Why It Definitely Would)

5 “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.”

Now there’s a lifestyle choice that we can get behind. Stanley Hudson may show zero regard for other people, for the world in general, or for his own physical health and well being, but this life motto explains why he seems to surrender to his every crotchety impulse at all times.

The Office understandably focuses on the experiences of the characters while they’re occupying the Dunder Mifflin offices, but it’s moments like these that make us wish that they had shown maybe just a glimpse of Stanley’s life outside of work. It sounds like it would have been a pretty wild ride.

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4 “Newsflash: You are not special.”

If anyone was ever feeling too good about themselves, or even just feeling like an average person, they could always count on Stanley to cut them back down to size. Stanley is saying the harshest thing that comes into his mind pretty much every time he opens his mouth, and the fact that he’s so blase about it all makes him even more of a savage.

It must take a lot of self-confidence to spend a significant amount of time around someone like Stanley, and, if anyone who ever crossed Stanley’s path was hoping to hear a kind or encouraging word from him, disappointment would have been guaranteed.

3 “Do not care.”

Could three words sum up Stanley Hudson more than “do not care”? Well… yes, as you’ll see further on down the list. However, this is pretty peak Stanley too! There is not caring and then there is not caring, and if apathy had a mascot then it would likely be Stanley.

It seems like absolutely nothing can make him actually care about anything, and, even if the office was about to go up in flames, he would hardly look up from his crossword puzzle. Most people only wish they could be as apathetic as Stanley is, he is truly an icon of the I don’t give a damn ideology.

RELATED: The Office: 10 Of The Funniest Fights Between Kelly And Ryan

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2 “Boy Have You Lost Your Mind, Cause I’ll Help You Find It.”

Stanley doesn’t seem like the type of guy who is a fountain of witticisms, but when he was suddenly under the impression that Ryan was taking an overly-friendly interest in his underage daughter, he whipped out this classic Stanley line, along with a whole litany of dressing downs that scared the living daylights out of Ryan. It was honestly really nice to see.

Yes, Stanley screaming is absolutely terrifying, but, for most of Stanley’s tenure on The Office, it seemed like he literally could not even be paid to care about anything that was happening, so it was nice to see him get a little lively for once.

1 “Did I Stutter!?”

As one of the funniest side characters on The Office Stanley had plenty of iconic moments throughout the course of the series. But, if he will be remembered for one moment, it’s this one. Stanley barely tolerates Michael on the best of days, but when he was particularly not in the mood to deal with his antics he let out the classic “did I stutter?” In an interesting twist of events, after a long and awkward standoff throughout the episode, Stanley and Michael actually managed to come to some sort of a truce, and Stanley seemed content to treat Michael respectfully even if he doesn’t respect him.

NEXT: The Office: 10 Reasons Why Oscar Is The Most Underrated Character

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Bài viết The Office: 10 Funniest Quotes From Stanley | ScreenRant – Screen Rant đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/funny-quotes/the-office-10-funniest-quotes-from-stanley-screenrant-screen-rant/

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