#newdam spoilers /

[trustsarchive]

i'm also thinking about how vanessa's middle name is pAGEANT and how much i hate it thank you for your time i'm gonna go sleep now

[xbcaptain]

NEW AMSTERDAM (2018 - 2023)   .  .  .   how can i help?

[trustschaos]

lauren would never manage to repel down a 200+ foot cliff i don’t care what the writers think this woman thinks climbing multiple flights of stairs counts as a hike

[fatalelity]

training residents like this again is exhausting. she’s forgotten how to teach the way she used to — yet, despite her being an awe-inspiring doctor, there’s a limitation to everything. grey-sloan memorial hospital : the namesake reminding her that every day mark sloan is gone & that she never once sincerely apologized to him  [  in that past life, addison montgomery was a coward. in that past life, addison montgomery couldn’t look him in the eye & only see her own disgust.    ]    everything has changed. meredith grey grew up & amelia is finally the mother she’s always meant to become. 

phone in her hand, she dials the familiar number — she’s had no luck catching her lately ... & that made perfect sense. after all, they are time zones apart & whilst they’re both far into their medical careers, lauren works those hours that she has to spare or addison slumbers during those hours lauren tastes freedom. like parallel lines, their paths never cross. 

god, she misses her & perhaps, addison has heard the voice of that voicemail greeting more than her real voice speaking to her. thus, she inhales & hopes lauren bloom answers the phone this time.

@trustschaos :))))

[zanzagifs-moved]

1.02   /   4.14

[shewalked]

↳    i’m  doctor  martha  jones,  who  the  hell  are  you  ?  personals  dni.

[sharpewit]

i watched it. all i care about is luna calling helen “mum” - don’t touch me, i’m emotional.

[theyhealers-a]

STARTER CALL.  hit the heart for an episode based starter for newdam 3x14!  specify muse,  on both ends if you’re a multi!  spoilers will be tagged.

[trustschaos]

lb happy ending though god i'm overwhelmed

[trustsarchive]

☤  INTERACTION  ✭  STARTER CALL.

5x09 + 5x10 BASED.

STATUS:   open.

the fact that helen’s here at all is sort of incredible.   or maybe it’s just sad  —  the way lauren’s not used to the people really showing up for her   ❪  let alone coming from another country,  and without having to be asked  ❫.   no one else has stayed long,  which isn’t surprising given the fact that they’re all working  —  but @conzierge​?  helen’s pulled up a seat beside lauren’s own and kept her company for...  ha,  well,  to have an answer to that there’d have to be a grasp of the way time’s progressed today.  instead it’s all moved in slow motion...  and in a blur,  both at the same time,  somehow.

gaze is fixed in front of her,  focused on a random spot on the blanket that lays across her sister’s unconscious form.  absently,  lauren picks at the cuticles around her fingers before she speaks.  it’s quiet and strained,  almost as if she’s not quite aware that the words are being spoken aloud.   “the worst part...”   jaw trembles as she sucks in a breath,   “is that i think...  i think that if she didn’t wake up?  a...”   her breathing picks up even as she fights to steady it,  throat constricting with emotion as she reaches her point,   “a part of me would be relieved,” 

[trustsarchive]

☤  INTERACTION  ✭  STARTER CALL.

5x09 + 5x10 BASED.

STATUS:   open.

it’s irrational,  deep down lauren’s aware of that.   she knows @fatalelity​ had made the right call,  and still anger flares alongside her desperation as she wheels on her wife,  tension ravaging her frame as she attempts to push past and through the door. 

“you have to let me go back,  addison!”   jaw trembling,  eyes mist over as a demand turns into a plea,   “that’s my sister,  you have to let me go back.  please,”

[trustsarchive]

JE.ANIE  ➤  JE.ANIE’S INFLUENCE

[trustsarchive]

i can’t believe we’re fREE OF JEANIE

[trustsarchive]

1.16  &  2.10   vs.   4.14

this is just me furthering my argument that l*yla was truly toxic for lauren because in every other situation where she was faced with ‘getting better’ she was eager to admit that she wanted and deserved to,  but l*yla treats her so badly that she won’t even admit that anymore.  

she got better so she could help.  she helped a woman who needed help,  fell in love with her,  and did something dumb for fear of not having anyone...  because all she had otherwise was the desire to help,  something she articulates regularly.  

she tried to help  —  both the woman she loved and herself  —  and it made things better...  until it didn’t.  until l*yla found out and made lauren feel like a truly awful person for doing all she could to hold onto one of the only people who’d really chosen her through,  in part,  implying that lauren didn’t actually love her and was trying to ‘own her’.  then just leaving and ignoring her.  

then l*yla flips and tells lauren she has to stay,  using the job that had turned her against lauren as a sort of manipulation to keep her around.  because she was ‘needed’.  when for weeks?  months?  idk however long it was beforehand?  she was told the very opposite.  that she wasn’t needed,  nor was she wanted.

so,  if one person could take lauren from ‘i really want to get better,  i really want to help people’ to ‘nah i have to help people because it’s been so solidly reinforced that all i’m good for is helping people and it doesn’t matter what i want or need’,  then that person is absolutely NOT good for her,  no matter what lauren did or didn’t do.

DON’T REBLOG.

[trustsarchive]

if leyr*n get married to get l*yla her visa i will lose my shit and not in a good way

[trustsarchive]

anyway i’m not saying that anything lau.ren did is okay,  but uh.... the fact that she had ley.la pay rent and do all sorts of things to ‘earn’ living with her and help take care of her education and the education of the other residents and everything is bullshit re: ‘you tried to own me’,  and the fact that i know the erasure of ley.la telling la.uren she was acting like a child when her abusive mother was screaming at her is forever gonna be ignored i’m so fucking tired of the way la.uren is gonna be treated like a villain for this when she’s not the only one who’s done shitty things but ley.la is innocent and has never done a thing wrong!!1!!1!!1!