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chosenforhispurposeministries · 10 years ago

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The Day God Saved Me

So, I thought long and hard about writing this. I thought about how many friends I would lose on facebook if I wrote this. I thought about what kind of approach I should take. I didn't want to come off preaching because then people would ask who am I to preach anything when we all know my history or who is Reuben to place judgement on me? I thought and thought and thought AND prayed, should I even write this at all? Well, after much thought and prayer, God has let me know that I should just tell my testimony. A testimony of salvation. If one person receives this, I did my job.

First of all, I want to let you know, this may be long and lengthy so it's up to you if you continue to read on. Second, I'm writing this because I love each and everyone of you and since God NOW lives in me through the receiving of the Holy Ghost and the baptism in Jesus' name, I too don't want anyone to perish (2 Peter 3:9). I pray that no one takes this in offense but sees the true meaning behind it. I love you all and if I didn't say anything knowing what I know TODAY, I wouldn't truly love you. The gospel of Jesus Christ is not to be keep inside you, it is to be shared so that other souls would be saved. My mother once said to me since being born again, "If you're not in the soul saving business; you're in the wrong business."

With that being said, friends/friends of Facebook, family, it is time to get it right. Those that claim to a part of a particular denomination or religion because they grew up under what they're parents believed, it's time to step away and seek God for yourself. Those that claim Godliness with their LIPS but in their heart God is far from them; step away and seek God for yourself. Those that have been spiritually dead in the baptist/methodist/lutheran/catholic, etc. churches and in their hearts have been STARVING and THIRSTING for a SPIRITUAL CHANGE; step away! Jesus is SOON to return and He has INVITED each and everyone of us into His glorious city with many mansions. All other invitatons mean nothing. He is coming back specifically for His people, and those that don't have His spirit and His name through water baptism are none of His (Romans 8:9).

Disclaimer: The identity of my girlfriend at the time is not mentioned for whatever reason.

You all remember the boy/man we all grew up knowing. I was this smiling little kid that loved the crafts of hip hop, loved the ladies, a visual artist and so many other things. Some of those other things you all didn't know. In the sight of God I was known as a whore monger, self-pleaser, a fornicator, a liar, a man-pleaser, arrogant, I watched porn whether soft or hardcore, I lusted over women and their body parts, I was disobedient to my parents and to God, I was a hypocrite; my mouth spoke of God but I ran the streets just as you all saw me. I was a thief and a cheater. Out of my mouth the cares of this world, the language of this world and all unrighteousness. Some things I won't even mention because I am ashamed to.

I grew up in the Apostolic church. For those who are not familiar with the term apostolic, it means "The Message". An apostle is a messenger. God's greatest messenger was himself in the form of "sinful flesh" (Romans 8:3), the man Jesus Christ. Jesus had 12 great friends/disciples that studied under Him and when He found them ready to spread the message (they graduated), He called them Apostles. They taught what is called the Apostolic Doctrine. That doctrine entailed the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ along with Acts 2:38 which is REPENT, be baptized in JESUS' name (not titles such as father, son, and Holy Ghost) for the remission of sins, and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. That was and still is the message. Apostolic IS NOT a religion, it is THE ORIGINAL doctrine that God Himself taught.

So, again, I grew up in the Apostolic church. I wasn't saved as you all could tell. But I had a little bit of understanding to know what salvation was. I was baptized in Jesus' name somewhere in my mid teens at Greater Emanuel Apostolic Temple. The day I got baptized, an Elder at the church said to me while wanting to tarry (means to wait) for the Holy Ghost with me, "Try it. If you don't like it you can always go back." He was speaking of trying salvation and I can always go back to the world. Needless to say, I didn't try it.

I remember when my mom got saved. I was five or six years old. My oldest brother, Reggie, received the Holy Ghost and was baptized in Jesus' name years later but I guess he didn't like it.

Moving in fast forward (2010), I began to go through a very dark time in my life. I had a girlfriend whom I was having sex with and trying new sex acts with. My nephrologist (kidney specialist) tried me on another medication which was an oral chemotherapy that made me depressed near the end of the 10 week course. I was having arthritis due to withdrawal of my primary kidney meds. It was a very dark time. I found myself praying to God during sex and afterwards acknowledging Him for not allowing me to have ANOTHER baby by THIS woman but if I keep on He'd catch me. I was looking for discipline in my life and thought about leaving Louisville and moving to North Carolina to be under family. I felt as if I was dying inside along with my outside from the arthritis.

I was desperate. I recall watching a religious station and they were doing prayer over the phone and I called them. It was horrible. They prayed for my healing then at the end the lady asked me if I believe in Jesus and that He is Lord and Savior. I replied, yes. She replied, "Then you are saved." I hung up the phone and thought, I don't feel any different. I know what I've seen growing up all my life where people are at the altar for hours repenting, crying out to the Lord for a change and then the Lord comes in, filling them with the Holy Ghost and they start speaking in a new tongue. I knew it wasn't this easy as a phone call. My mom taught me that when you receive the Holy Ghost, you will know without a shadow of a doubt.

I began to seek the Lord for a church and He brought to my memory an apostolic church that I had seen when I first moved to Louisville. I told God I was going to go that coming Sunday. So, I went. I took Aida, my youngest daughter at the time, with me. I signed my name on the guest list and they would eat after service. I was actually on my way out but they kept asking me to stay for dinner. One of the saints even made mention to me about my old church in Cincinnati and how Bishop Bowers and this church's pastor were great friends. He told me other great things to make me feel at home as well. Then this same saint asked me to take some food home. I ended up staying.

My girlfriend at the time invited me to go to church with her at least for a bible class one night. She attended a baptist church. I really didn't want to go because I knew what the baptist churches were about. My mom grew up in the baptist and Methodist church and we went to a baptist church before she came into the full knowledge of the gospel. Anyway, I went with her.

I didn't return to either one of the churches but Newburg Apostolic continued to mail me invites to come on back. I thought that was nice. I continued to seek the Lord about going back. I was still looking for a change in my life.

The third Sunday from the time I went to church, I woke up that morning next to my girlfriend. I wasn't feeling right because here I was waking up next to her rather than waking up by myself getting ready for church. So, we threw on some clothes and Aida was in her room. My girlfriend and I went into the living room and the topic of church came up. She asked me what I had thought about her church. I said it was okay; nothing special. She didn't quite understand what I meant so I elaborated. I said it wasn't anything that I hadn't heard before but with a little more umph to it (speaking of the anointing). I also responded with, "My mom is a minister. They didn't say anything special to me." Then the conversation changed into about being saved. I asked her had she spoken in tongues? She replied, "THEY say you don't have to do that anymore." I was taken back. I thought, "THEY"? That sounds like man. I didn't know to much about about speaking in tongues but I knew what I had always seen growing up. When you receive the Holy Ghost, you WILL speak in another language. I called mom so that she could talk to us. Mom, in her loving, sweet and kind voice began to speak. As sweet as mom was, she was always direct and spoke with authority when it came to the Word of God. I don't remember all that she said but I remember her telling us about living in sin and filth and salvation. For the first time and out of all the many times mom has witnessed and preached to a friend of mine, I teared up. The TRUTH had cut so deep at that moment. My girlfriend was crying her face off and eventually ran out the house while mom was still talking. When mom finished, I told her that my GF had left. Mom said, "I know. It's okay" and continued to talk a little more with me.

Close to an hour later, I took the garbage outside only to find my girlfriend sitting in her car still crying. She eventually followed me back in the apartment. She wanted to confront me about HER salvation as if she needed to explain herself to me. I let her know I'm not the one you need to work out your salvation with. She explained to me that my mom told her if she died today, she was going to Hell. Funny thing is, no one said that to her. The conviction of the Holy Ghost let her know that. We talked and argued. She kept talking about how she was saved and I would tell her, "You can't be saved and continue to fornicate with me." I remember telling her, "If you were saved, you wouldn't be dealing with me!" See, I knew I was filthy and full of sin. They don't teach that at the baptist churches or other denominations.

So my girlfriend tells me to get my bible so we can debate it. God knew what He was doing. I was given this bible when I was twenty-three and this was my first time really opening it. Well, God decided to show me everything that I had been seeing growing up at Greater Emanuel. It was like a slap in the face it was made so apparent to me. Then, I heard the voice of the Lord say to me (I don't know if God was mad at me or what) through my gf, "If you seem to know so much, I don't see why you wouldn't be running to get saved!" and my gf left.

Monday morning I woke up and got in the shower. I was in the presence of God. I cried and cried unto Jesus saying, "I know what I need to do." When I got out, I went to call mom. I was still partially crying. She said, "The Lord has been dealing with you, hasn't He?" I said, yes ma'am. Mom asked me if I wanted to start repenting now and told me to just start telling Him you're sorry. She then wanted me to repeat after her, "Hallelujah Jesus, hallelujah Jesus." I stopped. She said that she knew I had a lot on my mind that morning as far as getting to work and getting my daughter to daycare. She said but God understands all and He can fix anything if you chose to tarry right now. I told mom that I plan to start tarrying Tuesday night after work and I'm going to ask my gf and my good friend Steve to tarry with me. (I explained to mom that because the holiday fell on Sunday and my classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we're off on Tuesday. Plus, I won't have my Aida then, either.) Mom understood and God honored that timing. Before I got off the phone, mom prophesied to me that I'd be running into some saints until then for encouragement.

I went to work and I contacted some of my good friends informing them that things were about to change in my life. I called Tammy Floyd (maiden name) and she asked me was I about to be a preacher? I said no and laughed. I called Isaac Ivery as well and he said, so you're gonna go ahead to the Most High and he laughed. I let both of them know I was through with this ill world. I also started seeing the saints mom was talking about running into popping up on my FB page. Saints that I requested as friends a long time ago. Didn't even know they were my friends. One in particular I made contact with. Her name is Sister Jerlana. She was a couple years older than me and was saved under my mom so I knew she was on fire for Jesus.

TUESDAY:

I was so anxious to get home on Tuesday. All I could think about was getting home and repenting for my sins. So when I got home, I tried to reach Sister Jerlana so that she could tarry with me. I found out that I had her work number instead of her personal phone. I wasn't discouraged. I went straight into my bedroom, left all the lights off, got on my knees and began to pray. I repeatedly said, Thank You Jesus. I didn't know a routine or whatsoever so I would ask God to take my soul. My gf came through while I was praying and she got on her knees for a brief moment. She probably didn't know what was going on so she left. I tarried that night for about five hours. My hands and arms were tingling and cramping from being in the air for so long. My body was drained. Seeking God was hard work but I wanted Him that bad.

I called my mom before I had went to bed that night to tell her about my tarrying experience. I told her I tried to reach Sister Jerlana to tarry with me. I told her about my body being stiff and hands tingling. Mom said, I've been there. But what mom was most interested in was the fact that I went into the room myself without Sister Jerlana or anyone else to help and encourage me. She told me that I made God smile because that did not discourage me from seeking Him like I said I was. She told me to keep making God smile.

Wednesday:

Wednesday, I was able to get Sister Jerlana's personal phone so when I got home I called her up, immediately. Sister Jerlana was my professional guide to seeking God. She told me to get on my knees and raise my hands to the sky. She told me my hands are going to used like antennas reaching for God. Then she had me repeat "I bind my mind to a life in Christ" until I was solely focused on Jesus. Then I went into saying Hallelujah Jesus. Sister Jerlana was already speaking in tongues. She was a great coach. We tarried for hours; close to one a.m to be exact. I recall my speech changing. It was like stammering. Breathing intensified. We soon stopped because, again, my body was drained. Sister Jerlana, on the other line, said to me, "Reub, just open your mouth and speak in tongues." I still couldn't speak for I was still in a stammering stage. I was shaking my head along with moving my index finger in the "No" motion. Before I finally was able to speak, I remembered what mom said about knowing without a shadow of a doubt. I then said, "I'm not there yet." Sister Jerlana informed me that I need to learn how to let go and let God and that I'm going to fast for the Holy Ghost starting at 1 am to 8 pm. She also told me to praise God while I'm at work tomorrow and He may fill me with the Holy Ghost while I'm at work. Uh, no, I said. I guess she forgot that I know what receiving the Holy Ghost looks like and sounds like.

Thursday:

So, being that I fasted on Thursday for the very first time in my life, I was fairly drained when I got home. So, when it was time to come off the fast, I just made dinner and asked God to honor my fast. I called it a short night that Thursday.

Friday:

The following day, I was still anxious and determined to seek after and find God but I was still running on low energy. So when I got home from work that day, I prayed and went to bed.

Saturday:

I woke up bright and early Saturday morning. It was such a beautiful and gorgeous day outside. God had made it possible for me to still have the house to myself. I grabbed myself a couple prayer pillows from my bed and went into the living room of my apartment. I called Sister Jerlana but this time her phone was completely off. So I went ahead. I kneeled down at the sofa and began, "I bind my mind to a life in Christ. I bind my mind to a life in Christ", but I just couldn't get focused. There were so many distractions. I was hearing all these doors closing in the hallway of the apartment building. I heard all the cars passing by the balcony door. I got up and had to rethink. I moved to Aida's bedroom. The conditions was perfect! I could be as loud as I wanted. It was on the corner of the building, a couple windows and most importantly, no one was on the other side of the walls. Only children lived above that room and I didn't care. They could get the Holy Ghost, also.

I got on my knees on top of those pillows. I through up my antennas. I bind my mind to a life in Christ. I'm focused. "Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah Jesus!" I said from my belly. In my mind I began to say, "Go hard or go home." As I continued to wait on God to fill me with the Holy Ghost (I really didn't know what to expect), I remembered what Sister Jerlana said to me on Wednesday night, "You have to learn how to let go and let God". I stopped my repetition of praise to Him and said out of my mouth, "God, if You show me how to let go, You can have me". I guess God liked that one because after that I went limp, He put me on my back with my arms spread out and my feet together. My torso was lifting off the ground. I was able to grab hold of the foot board of Aida's toddler bed. "Ohhhhhh!" I yelled with joy as I felt this great power coming inside me. Jesus was sucking the sin out of me and filling me with His precious gift of the Holy Ghost. I turned over on my face to worship the God Almighty! I raised up speaking in another language that I could hear with my own ears that I had no control over nor did I have any understanding of what I was saying. All I knew was that I was in the presence of God and He was filling me up with all this joy, all this peace, all this love, all this mercy, all this grace, ALL THIS HOLY GHOST! I had to tell someone so God settled me down just enough to call my mom. I was still speaking in tongues as the Spirit empowered me (Acts 2:4). Mom answered. While speaking in tongues very quietly because I couldn't say anything else, I heard mom smile over the phone. Then she said, "Well, praise God." Then God decided to fill me up some more. I was standing with my back against the wall, one hand raised to the sky, other holding the phone, praising God to the Heavens. I let out this "Wooooo!" of unspeakable joy and threw my phone down and ran around my apartment praising God for saving me. I made it back to Aida's room and God put me back on the floor. I grabbed the phone and as I'm lying on my back I'm chanting the name Jesus. And if you knew my mom, you know she was Jesus' hype man. Every time I said JESUS, she'd punch in and say something like "The One that took you to school everyday", "The One who watch over you when you were sick", etc.

When I was finally able to speak in my own English language, mom began to teach me some things. She told me that I wasn't going to learn and know everything all at once but that what just tok place is right there in the Word of God. She told me to stay in the house that day and read my Word because God is there, I was in the presence of God and that GOD IS WITH ME. One of the last things she told me before we got off the phone was to call my brothers and dad and tell them of what just happened. Also tell everyone else. And that's what I've been and still doing. As for Sister Jerlana; God had it all planned out. Her phone came back one after I received the Holy Ghost.

I was born again through the filling (NOT FEELING) of the Holy Ghost and the baptism in Jesus' name that Saturday morning, October 9, 2010 at 10 ish.

I write this to say, Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). That means HE DOESN'T CHANGE! But He wants to change you. Enough with the "God knows my heart" and live the way you want to. Yeah God knows your heart. He knows it's filthy and that's why He wants to change it. The baptism hasn't changed, but man changed it to being baptized in titles. God said, "Repent", man said, "Once saved, always saved". That's a lie from the pit of Hell. God is still filling people with Holy Ghost the exact same way He was doing it in the Holy Bible. Why? Because Hebrews 13:8, HE DOESN'T CHANGE! And I know from experience. If sin is still the same, what makes you think God isn't the same? Come on friends and family. The invitation is out there. Jesus loves YOU and wants YOU to join Him in the Kingdom.

Love Bro Reub

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