#new year means im feeling my art ig idk

[thefandomcassandra]

Me, on a whim after beating AA4 for the first time: draws one (1) vaguely religious themed piece of artwork about Kristoph Gavin being manipulative

Me, almost a week later: I have two (2) more pieces it is a triptych now "speak no evil", "see no evil", and "hear no evil".

(I've never actually made a triptych but I've planned one before. This is less complex than the first one I planned so it's more...manageable lmao. Here's hoping.)

[Image ID: three pencil drawings. The first is of Phoenix Wright presenting the forged evidence while Kristoph Gavin, lurking behind him, covers his mouth and points to it. The second is of Kristoph standing behind Apollo Justice, covering his eyes with his hands, framed by Apollo's bracelet and the 'percieve' eye as if it was a halo. The third is of Klavier Gavin hunched over covering his ears while Kristoph whispers to him. /end ID.]

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 1 - the gc birth

in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends

or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28

__

THE GLADE

[ 7:45 PM ]

alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally

alby: Hello, guys.

minho: wtf is this

newt: uhhhh

tommy: hi :3

y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private

gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number

newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n

tommy: oh that’s y/n?

alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??

newt: yea

tommy: o.O

y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao

tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????

y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p

newt: lmao

minho: ik he smug as fuck rn

not u asking for a girls number lmao simp

newt: stop

y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it

plus you guys are friends irl so idk

it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh

minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n

we play games all the time

call all the time

we even send packages and shit

you’re very much considered our irl friend

y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺

tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️

minho: the heart eyes are crazy

but yes dude

newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you

minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO

but real ig

y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE

hahahahha

HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR

I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER

gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys

minho: gally sleeps in the corner

gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion

y/n: cherry blossom mansion*

gally: and you sleep in a shed

y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.

tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰

y/n: love you tommy <3333

minho: that’s actually nasty stop now

y/n: u mad ur unloved

i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((

newt: aw it is

minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord

alby: I’m done with Discord.

newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate

minho: mate 💀💀

british people so crazy

alby: Yes maybe..

I don’t want to make another.

y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to

minho: LMAO REAL

alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)

minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀

newt: minho admitting he’s jobless

minho: you work at a library be so fr rn

newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.

gally: LMFAOOOOOOO

minho: stfu :////

y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY

tommy: YAAAY!!!!

im going to text you guys all day

tell you every meal

every thought

every interaction will be meaningful and glorious

newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that

minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit

why not just do it before in the discord ??

tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..

y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy

newt: ok second thought that’s fine

minho: .

gally: that’s wild.

y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST

newt: first with what

y/n: say what u ate today

newt: didn’t say i’d do it.

tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333

you guys next

minho: that’s all you had bro..

y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D

minho: ??????? BRO

how are you guys alive

y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking

newt: please eat and drink water.

like for real and document it

y/n: ok wait

there

tommy: yum!

minho: y/n..

newt: cereal does not count

y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY

im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare

newt: alright what do you want?

y/n: wym?

newt: like if you could pick.

minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it

i like it go on.

tommy: i want chick fil a

minho: i knew you hate the gays

tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????

y/n: ugh that does sound good

mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch

newt: that’s what you would order?

y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh

newt: ok

minho: that’s it?

i thought soemthing would happen

tommy: me too

like a spell! magic 🪄

y/n: sigh

my cereal tastes bad now

newt: well it is cocoa puffs.

minho: L cereal

y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG

minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L

newt: you're annoying minho

minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that

newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying

minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday

newt: ???

myself

and i paid for yours too

im the one with an income

minho: .

well i didnt think youd remember that well.

newt: it was literally yesterday.

minho: yeah but ur old

newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU

minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔

tommy: guys stop fighting

newt: we aren't fighting

maybe this gc was a bad idea

tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!

y/n: NOOOO!

tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl

y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was

y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.

wait there is a knock at my door im scared

newt: answer it

minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????

newt: well usually yes

y/n: no im not expecting company

newt: just do it pls

y/n: ok :D

minho: bruh..

i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt

newt: why would you want that

minho: bc she owes me money

newt: YOU owe ME money

minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux

tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE

y/n: :o....

tommy: Y/N?????????

OH GOD THEY GOT HER

minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got

tommy: clearly its a surprised face

maybe its not her

its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use

y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!

minho: me

newt: you literally did not

minho: shut up

y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt

newt: well

y/n: :(

newt: what why are you sad?

minho: im hungry too

y/n: u spent ur money :(

newt: you're hungry are you not?

minho: she's not but i am

y/n: yeah but..

i feel bad you shouldn't have

newt: just eat it or i'll be mad

minho: i think i want red lobster

newt: it's really no big deal y/n

y/n: thank you newt :(((((

newt: you're welcome

go eat and watch ur show or smth

minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving

newt: can you shut up

gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.

minho: thank god

newt: good

tommy: good

y/n: good

the food is good too <3

newt: good.

_

lmk if you want to be tagged!

[petefromarma]

okay wrt that other ask asking abt bottom pete

i also find it interesting that despite a lot of people suddenly preferring bottom pete, there's still a lot of recent bottom patrick fics coming out.... but ig not everyone reads or writes fic so idk. actually thinking abt it, im not even sure why it's become so popular?? /gen

another iteration that comes to mind is petekey, like especially on tiktok 😭

and also i want to ask abt the tags bc what is your interpretation of patrick as a bottom then...

ok thats all thank u for letting me ramble and like i read your blog like the morning paper everyday 💜

aw anon you're so sweet thank you 🥺❤️ thank you for the ask and it means a lot that you like MY ramblings lol

so in terms of the preferred dynamics of the pairing changing, i think this shift probably happened sometime in the last five years; imo it was sort of a slow crawl and then the emergence of smfs sped things up because fob gained a lot of new fans and also attracted old fans who were still around but maybe not creating anything during the gap between mania and smfs, whether it was art or fic. primarily i think it has to do with the fandom's general perception of pete and patrick having changed since the 2013-2019 era

the fact that they've grown and changed as people over the last decade (and when speaking about fob in its entirety, the last two decades) has in part something to do with this; fandoms are inherently predisposed to tropes, imo, which can often lead to characters (this term i think is appropriate since we are talking about fiction written about real people and to a lesser degree the people as they actually exist themselves) being shoehorned into fitting the confines of a specific archetype based on surface level aspects of their personality or physical attributes. patrick and pete for a significant amount of the band's history were perceived as sort of a wallflower and bad boy combo; this wasn't entirely incorrect, and imo most fic authors wrote them with a degree of nuance rather than purely relying on archetype, but you could usually find some form of that interpretation of their characters in most fic or fandom discussion relating to their personalities and relationship with each other. because of this and the fact that it was common in the 2000s/2010s to work within a context of assigning arbitrary personality traits to sex positions, such as 'bottoms are shy/tops are outgoing' (and with bottom always referring to sub bottom and top always referring to dom top), this lead to total bottom patrick cultural victory etc (obviously i agree with the outcome here but i don't completely agree with the journey it took to get there lol)

in part patrick and pete both had a hand in this perception of themselves; patrick mostly during the 2010s and pete mostly during the 2000s. like i said i think these are both actual aspects of their personalities rather than what some people claim, especially in regards to patrick (that the sweater paws era was all an act), but the choice to exacerbate this image of themselves was definitely for PR purposes. imo they both still kind of do this but in different ways; the intent is the same but the form is different. i don't mean to be cynical and i do think they are happy and settled and that their expressions of self are mostly genuine but they are still celebrities and i think they're both relieved to be considered by a majority of fans, who are largely unwilling to talk about their (p2's) flaws, as 'soft' and non-threatening

ig the dark haired top/light haired bottom thing could have also played a part in the popularity of bottom patrick but i don't really think that's the case here because of. the inherent way that they are lol. i feel like some people would argue that the popularity of patrick as specifically a sub bottom during 2013-2019 can in part be attributed to his whiteness and the conflation of whiteness with femininity and bottoming as an inherently feminine and therefore submissive act, which i think probably has merit enough to be acknowledged in any discussion of an interracial ship especially irt to m/m and f/f, but i don't think it's particularly relevant to peterick because i do not buy that patrick has an especially domineering presence that is being subverted in order to incorrectly portray him as submissive, which is something that does happen in a number of ships where one character is white and the other character is black or brown. i think there ARE domineering parts of patrick's personality, and that he craves control, especially wrt his art and his creative process, but we also know that he often gives in to pete's suggestions and that pete's instincts are usually correct whereas patrick's are usually wrong. this doesn't scream hypercompetent in control dom top to me and it doesn't scream service top either

anyway. i think patrick's change in fashion and aesthetics played a not insignificant part in this shift in dynamics; pete's self expression has always been relatively androgynous, but that isn't inherently connected to his gender or his personality. i don't think he's ever done or said anything to imply that he's anything other than a cis man who sometimes likes to wear skirts. which, i mean, there's a not insignificant discussion to be had about his relationship with gender as a biracial black man but this answer is already too long and i don't want to get into that now lol. so patrick grows a beard, pete bleaches his hair and grows it out, oh they're masc and femme now, patrick is a bear (despite being straight?), masc = top and femme = bottom, etc. some people will argue that this has always been the case (patrick being masc and pete being femme) but i'm going to be honest, i think pete and patrick both leaned toward androgyny in self expression until around futct and even then i don't consider patrick's street wear as being super butch or whatever

people also like to discuss patrick's weight as a factor in the perception of him as either a top or a bottom but i've seen too many claims that there's an epidemic of fat men being portrayed as sub bottoms simply because they're fat and i have literally no idea where this came from and i really don't want to lend any legitimacy to that argument because i think it's ridiculous so i'm not going to get into it. but just know i think it's silly and cope

so i think partially the change in dynamics has come from the manner in which they present themselves within the public sphere; patrick reads now as more masculine and outgoing and pete reads as more shy and feminine

i do think that the interpretation of them as characters by people who prefer bottom pete and write fic is more nuanced than people who don't write fic and are just kind of going with the flow (same with people who were around in 2013-2019 when bottom patrick was more popular); i still don't agree with the majority of their analysis but considering they're creating actual art there's generally more critical thought involved than just following a fandom trend imo

fob is also not really a fic based fandom, honestly; fanart tends to get more interaction and fandoms that skew younger don't seem to write fic as much. this is kind of a sidebar but i am actually genuinely worried about the use of chatgpt and what it means for the writing and critical reasoning skills of young people in the west (i don't know if this is as big of a problem in nonwestern countries) and imo the manner in which it's wormed its way into all aspects of academic and creative life, whether professional or amateur, is frightening. but anyway i think a lot of the authors who write or prefer bottom patrick have been around a lot longer (just, like, in life, but also in the fandom lol) and since the younger fans aren't really interested in writing fic, it makes sense that there's still an even split on ao3 despite bottom pete seeming to be more popular with the greater fandom

anyway like i said in that other ask i do think there are situations in which pete would bottom; like, he is not topping andy hurley, lol, and probably not travie, but i just don't see him bottoming as realistic, long term, or as a constant, in his relationship with patrick. the time at which pete came into patrick's life means he was both an authority figure and peer to him; he guided patrick professionally and, at times, personally. pete viewed him as his responsibility, and he was protective of patrick in a way that he wasn't with joe (i've spoken about this before, and while i do think that maybe this has to do with pete maturing somewhat from twenty to twenty-two/twenty-three, there is a world of difference between what pete allowed his friends to do to joe and the way pete spoke of patrick with reverence and protected him, to the point that patrick's release the bats skit was him drinking garlic butter). and while i don't know if i would say the same currently lol i think pete was once a highly competent and successful businessman; he deeply understood the culture of the 2000s/early 2010s and for all the stress and heartache it brought him, i think there were aspects of fame and that feeling of being on top of the world that he very much enjoyed. i think he likes control, but in contrast to patrick, he's far more competent and adept at gaining and keeping himself in a position that affords him that control

has their relationship evolved to the point that they're on more equal footing? yeah i think so, but i also think that your dynamic when you meet someone is going to remain, in part, a constant, even as your relationship evolves and changes. so there's that, for me, that push-and-pull power dynamic where pete is almost always the one who comes out on top (lol), and while i understand the appeal in subverting this wrt peterick, in an abstract sense, i just don't see the evidence in their relationship that that would realistically happen or that pete would want it to happen

moving on to patrick, the reason i said his stroke game is mid is because obviously he does top he's straight but i don't think he's particularly good at it; he fumbles through a lot of life (that doesn't involve his art) and i think this translates to his sexual expression. more realistically, i could see him as a dom bottom because of how bossy he is; this i think would be something pete would enjoy because he does desire submission somewhat but it doesn't involve penetration, which i believe he considers a degrading act, at least to some degree. tbh i don't really think pete's dick game is bomb or whatever lol but i think he's better than patrick. and i know this is a matter of contention because of the specific way in which patrick's misogyny manifests and how defensive he was about not being gay, but i think he's too autistic to really give a shit about bottoming; maybe he could even be convinced to take the strap because he would just get to lie there and not do anything like the way elisa cooks all his food for him. i think this could actually also be argued with pete potentially but it would be more difficult to bring him around to it lol

i have more to say but i think i should cut myself off now 😭 i do want to say though re the thing about petekey; i was actually just telling a friend how petekey is similar to bottom pete because they're both so popular and yet the amount of fanworks doesn't seem to match their supposed popularity

[plungelo]

trying to make connections

i dont have a plan for this post i'm just spouting off the dome

this whole ai art thing. we all want the conversation to end and it won't fucking die. before LLMs and dal-e and the advanced AI we have now existed, idt anybody ever really made any connection between AIs and art.

for so long the cultural understanding of AI was that it was a possible superintelligence that could take over our society and be the final invention of humanity that destroys us. OR it was, like mr asimov thought, a path to new beginnings for humans that could really open up our understanding of labor and life. in recent years (before this 'ai boom' or whatever) AI was something used in algorithms in social media. that was the conversation for ai up until a couple years ago. no one ever thought you could type in "emo sad boy james p sullivan on bed with lean cup" and get this:

and that we would be willingly extending a conversation over whether or not it's art because a piece of technology made it. (maybe i'm behind the times but at least in the online circles i dabble in, this is still a conversation being had especially as more AI generated images/texts are being used. excuse me if i'm the only one still extending the conversation)

but i'm starting to think about it like, doesn't art necessitate technology? so many of the mediums we would call art cannot exist without some degree of technology––maybe i can excuse vocal music and primitive forms of theatre... just to keep things simple so i don't get into the 'what is technology' conversation (that would be too much spouting). i don't need to enumerate this point but it starts with the fact that ya you cant paint without paint and in the last century it ends with the fact of film––a medium so dependent on technology that it raised similar questions when it started to be used artistically (im sorry i dont have a source on that i just kno maya deren spent a lot of time rebutting that point so someone had to have made it)

so AI is just an advanced paintbrush? no one wants to say that. i dont. the other thing i want to think is like, if AI is so bad (which ya it's weird!) for making us overdependent on it as a technology for creation, like if we've gotten to a point in society where we depend on AI to do creative things for us, then where is the line between that and the paintbrush making it too easy to represent mental concepts?

like there had to be cave painters back in the day who were like "pff what's all this PAINT stuff these new wave cave artists are using now? that's not art! i use my own shit piss and spit to represent my mental concepts thank you very much! and THAT'S what it means to be an ARTIST!!"

so the fact that so much of the focus of this ai conversation is about art makes me feel like we're really starting to come to a head on the whole concept of technology and what it means to us as artists.

i think we're probly retreading ground laid at the start of film but making peace with this will be different.

my thought ig is p obvious ig: technology is art, not really separable. so ig what happens when the art makes art? god -> humans -> technology/art -> ai -> art. where do we draw the line between art and ai? ai and technology? art and technology? art and god? man and god? ai and god? let's not draw lines ig? idk like i said this is off the dome and it's 3am so i'm putting it down for now

[blogblogbloggittyblog]

january 18- february 16, 2024

last nice thing he said to me was in mid october. and i know he sucked but maybe he didn’t and i did instead and i just ruin the good things that come my way -----

apparently they’ve broken up because she was bored or smth. which objectively sucks for him and i’m sorry that happened. but also like obviously makes me feel a little satisfaction. the thing is tho like now this opens up a whole new territory of . no it doesnt. jesus christ. i wouldve stayed wuth him we all know tbis it wouldve been fine but ig he didnt want thag and yk what it honestly props to her has made hik more confident, hes in band now and he takes art and he puts his hair up and has a photo of his face and so obviously im fucking jealous because why didn’t i do that. maybe i made him better in someway idk how u could get bored of a relationship that’s crazy it just means u don’t wanna be with them basically. and he didn’t wanna be w me. which is awesome. idk what i’m saying. i’m saying that if he had been an intelligent person or just a more caring and long term focused person, maybe we would’ve still been together. but ig he had different needs too right like i couldn’t eat lunch w him every single day and yeah idk -----

went on a date w a man. it was ok. idk -----

i mean i literally have to be the problem. like crofton and sadie r great, sidney and evelyn are great, ira and his gf r great, even dustin and lake were great. fuckinf cameron dated that girl for four years. idk what’s wrong w me -----

i had a dream abt dustin again. woohoo. it has officially been a year. and i am maybe less sad abt it but still very sad. i think i’m just scared of being alone and not having someone validate me as a good person. i don’t think anyone else i’ve dated still thinks i’m a good person. and maybe they’re right. they’ve all dated better people for longer after me. i was just this shitty patch in their life.

[mokutone]

I'm drawing Kakashi for the first time (as much as I love them, I rarely ever draw naruto characters so this is a little fun and new for me) and I'm struggling a little bc I'm trying to draw him relaxed, reclining with pakkun (in the way I recline with my cat) and I'm realizing there's something so personal abt drawing him in such a vulnerable pose ig. Like? I'm very tired too rn so maybe I'm being extra emotional and rambly but there are so few scenes of kakashi in canon where he's not wearing the jounin vest, where he's alone and relaxed and out of uniform. And I didn't realize it until I was trying to think back to other similar scenes and there really weren't any. and I'm kind of mesmerized by how you draw him because you capture that so so well, your art is gorgeous but it's also so real and expressive in a way that shows a lot of practice and a lot of love. Idk i think I've said this before and I'm sorry if it's annoying that I'm saying it again (I'll just shut up after this lol) but I went to an art school and I had massive burnout and only really started drawing again in the past 6 months and you were one of my inspirations 2 start drawing again and I'm still not as good as I'd like to be but I draw so much more now and having an actual passion for art has led to a huge improvement, so thank you and thank u for bearing with me and my sleep-deprived rambles. I think my original point got sidetracked. I forgot why i started writing this ask.

dkgjhsdgkjdshg no i think you're 100% right abt the kakashi relaxed thing, even when we see him "relaxed" he doesn't ever really Look relaxed. like

here he is chilling out in the hot springs. this man does not look relaxed but he DOES look exhausted and maybe a little like he's gotten lost. somebody help this confused man find the exit.

anyway art + motivation talk beneath the cut

djhsdkjghsdkjhg thank u for all the compliments abt my art, i do work really hard in order to draw expressive characters, and spend a lot of time paying attention to how the small details in posture and expression change how the character comes across, and im glad it pays off!

also yeah no, similarly, once i left art school (when the pandemic hit) i did have a good 6 months where i did not pick up the pencil even once, and like, usually i feel rlly bad or guilty when i'm not drawing, but my burnout was real bad and i was straight up angry abt everything dgkjhsdgkjh so i just...didn't draw for like 6 months. i didn't even feel bad about it bc i was too busy being angry

and i had a bad relationship with art at the time and eventually realized i kind of had to like? make a different relationship with art—like, try to stop seeing art as something which gave me fundamental worth as a human being, or part of who i am? you know? that's a LOT of pressure to put on just...something that i do. if i took that kind of approach to literally any other task in my life, i'd never do it. imagine thinking that the way and style with which you descend the stairs gives you your worth as a person and if you don't do it exactly right then it means you're worthless as a person? buddy i'd just find a way to go down and out through the window LMAO

i think this is the thing which gives a lot of people burnout, it's exhausting to be constantly working on something and ALSO believe that if you fuck it up even a little, it's because you are the fuckup, and a fundamental failure of a person. god thats so much pressure.

anyway so i decided to make a naruto art blog because i don't even like naruto That Much but my best friend had been trying to get me into it for years (ty kate ilu kate), and so any art that i made would be purely for fun, wouldn't have anything to do with my self worth, and might make kate laugh too, and that's why this blog exists! and taking the pressure off of creating art like that has been enormously helpful to my mental health and my ability to create, also i take breaks alllllll the time, i'm like...way healthier about my art thanks to that, and also just...a nicer person, i think? anyway i'm very glad that i inspired you to get back into art but i'm far more glad that you've found a passion for it, cultivating that passion and joy is so important

[shishikusas]

ok so idk if you already know this but puppy lover on yt recently left their masa channel. truly the end of an era. but in their last video they asked for honest opinions on masa so I’m throwing my two cents to like the only other active masa blog on here hope you don’t mind👉👈 (if you don’t wanna read it just skip) what’s your opinion on mass’s songs lately??

So I really really love the onibi, sister and secret series. And ya I agree with a lot of the comments there— masa’s songs are lacking nowadays. He’s still a great guy, but all his songs sound the exact same (I believe it’s edm??) His old content was more original and actually had better pv’s.

But more than that for me they had better storyline. The onibi series had really deep lore, the sister series had a lot, the secret series had a bit too, and maha was full of it. That being said nowadays all of his songs share the same three themes of dr1nks, dr*gs and s3x. There’s no originality which made onibi such a hit. They’re all parodying off each other.

Also is it just me or is the anatomy on the newer videos a bit…off?? It seems like he’s emphasizing certain parts more than others and it makes the whole thing look a bit disproportionate. Idk if it’s just me, I’m not an expert by any means.

That being said, it’s not like his new content is bad by any means, it’s cool to listen to. And it’s nice. For a couple of times. It’s kinda insipid after that.

tldr masa’s old stuff was better than his new for me, and I miss it a lot. He’s still a good guy and the new music is cool but the onibi, sister and secret series will always have a place in my heart.

i just posted a comment on the video on puppy's channel, so i will copy it here:

i'll be completely honest in my opinion here. masa's stuff has not gotten worse, it has just changed and i still love it and listen to it, and it really disheartens me when people leave bc i feel like im just wandering around in a desert. like where did all the people go :( the community was so bustling in 2016-2019 and it just feels abandoned now.

there are some things i can agree on though. there was a time in 2019-2020 ish where i thought he wasn't living up to his full potential, or he was trying to create new stuff and hadn't gotten it completely down yet. and yes, it's easy to look through the lenses of nostalgia and miss all the lore stuff he used to do - i mean i fucking love the onibi series and all its lore but we probably aren't going to get another blog update for a loooong time.

but the reality is that masa is a different person now than he was in the early 2010s. he started creating music when he was 20 years old, and he's 32 now - that's a huge difference, he's a fully fledged adult now and probably has a lot more things to do and work on than what he used to. that's not even talking about the money aspect! obviously we know next to nothing about his personal life but he either has another job outside of making music or he relies on making these songs to support himself, and neither are conducive to making elaborate PVs or complicated lore (both which i know people revere him for and miss the most). instead he focuses on making the music he wants and PVs that fit his time, which by the way include MUCH higher quality art than in the past. idc what anyone says his anatomy was WAY wonkier back then than it is now.

im rambling, but ig my point is masa's changed, and it's an okay thing. his new EP, INSOMNIA, is really an amazing piece of work and feels kind of like the 'old' masa and i've listened to it many times on repeat, but it's not the same as the masa people became fans of him for. it's okay if you don't like it but i do, and i probably always will. unless he starts making country music or smth ;)

TLDR: i love masa's music even now and understand that his style has become much different than before, and there's many reasons for that.. he holds such a big place in my heart and i will support him thru his endeavors!

[stupidlittledoodles]

[image description: a screenshot of a tweet by @KyWilliamsDraws that reads - art being called content and artists being called content creators has to be one of the worst things to happen to the art space in years]

im gonna get on my soap box bc I feel this so so hard. It really sucks.

I’ve seen artists posting or sharing online how they spend every waking (or sleeping!) hour not only creating art and thinking of ideas but also dreaming up new and engaging content ideas.

Instagram is a prime example of this. I’m on art chat groups that discussed when insta started placing more engagement ‘value’ on reels. And people had to GUESS this by testing the response of their posts, bc Instagram sure didn’t tell anyone! Now they had to start creating this new kind of content to prevent their engagement falling. And (idk about now) reels was under developed and awful to use as only doing this to try and stay current against the rise of tiktok. And if their engagement fell they’d lose income.

And these platforms are no longer centred around the joy of sharing. Sharing your art. Sharing your favourite selfies. Sharing your pets. Now it’s centred around content consumers and the masses are HUNGRY.

If you don’t evolve your content with the app, say making videos, reels etc you lose. You lose your audience and you lose money.

Creators have to _work_ For. Free. For an apps where an algorithm can really fuck your income. And all while artists work is getting stolen bc there are no protections in these spaces (another soap box for another day!)

—————-

I wrote this rant a few days ago and I never finished it and thought maybe it’s a cathartic exercise that never needs to be posted. But then I see this.

Instagram has finally come clean.

[image description: a screenshot of a tweet by @EugeniaLoli that reads - And now, Instagram is coming clean: they say that they’re not a photo app anymore, they’re a video app. They detailed that they will only promote video reels from now on. Be prepared to have you IG images soon not seen by almost any of your followers.] Here’s the link from the tweet above if you wana read it

https://www.theverge.com/2021/6/30/22557942/instagram-no-longer-photo-app-video-entertainment-focus

The head of Instagram specifically says they're focusing on Creators as one the four key areas. Video, messaging, and shopping being the other three. Creators on social media now means content makers. They do not care about artists. They do not mean artists, or photographers. They do not care that centering on video means creators have to work 200% harder and more to produce the kind of engaging content Instagram rewards. They do not care that taking the focus off images will hurt a lot of artists who rely on social media for their income. They just want you to make content for free so they can compete with tiktok. Instagram is no longer a 'square photo sharing app" - it hasn't been for a long time. They're finally admitting it.

[harcove]

OH I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE VOICE ACTING HFNSKVDKS

I am so weak for xyx's voice you have no idea like I had to take my headphones out on multiple occasions and just like,, Collect Myself after certain lines cause holy shit

All the VAs absolutely KILLED IT, idk how you feel about bad ends but damn if the plot of the BEs in this game don't break your heart the voice acting sure will, no joke I was Sobbing when I played them in the original version,, I haven't had the courage to play them in the new version yet (I've heard xyx's is Bad)

-bp anon

(i'll answer this one with both asks instead of doing both so my followers dont kill me for spamming with asks- wHICH IM GONNA DO ANYWAYS PSYCHE LMAO SORRY YALL)

I won't even lie to you, i like- have always been a VERY pick person when it comes to otome games?? I started playing them WAYYY back like 10 years ago now almost- (i was like 11/12 LMAO) and I started with these like otome games on mobile from the company Voltage (dont get me started on how much I hate voltage inc now) but then I got into things like Hakuouki and Amnesia Memories, etc. and I was VERY picky about how art looked, how voices sounded (if they had voice acting that is) and shit like that-and I still kind of am; but I took a break from otome games for a while ig and played Our Life (if you havent played that one- damn its an AMAZING free one too) and started to appreciate the love and attention that goes into the indie/lesser known otomes over the mainstream big company otomate ones or aksys- (i still love those too i mean i just bought fuckin Cafe Enchante so) but like my whole point of this tangent is just that- I still worry about like how voice acting will sound, etc. in these games but this definitely isn't disappointing me; it sounds so good!! the voice actors are doing such a good ass job! (xyx calling mE DOLL AND BABE?? AAHHAAH HE LLOOO??)

I'm a SLUT for bad endings in otome games ngl- I LOVE ANGST even if it hurts me, but at the same time im like "they're about to ruin my boys arent they?" so like- im SCARED lowkey; i also feel like going back to the VA thing for me- sad scenes/bad endings are really where voice actors thrive so i GOTTA do them to hear it now-

xyx... bad ending here i come - when i do ur good ending first tho aha (on like a scale of like 1-10, 10 being holy shit that is so fuckin sad im crying rn and will be for a while, how bad are the bad endings? im so curious as to what they're gonna be like since this game just feels so cute so far- even tho rn im getting some sadder vibes off of xyx)

[astralaffairs]

w/ midnight approaching i j wanna let yall know that this blog was genuinely the best part of my 2020. it's been a hellish year, but getting to meet & know writers like @deja-you (girl ur writing has a SPECIAL place in my heart istg. i know we don't talk much but ur presence on this site and on ur blog makes my life a lil brighter. even if the feeling isn't mutual i think of u as a good friend 💞❣) @daveeddiggsit (an actual ray of sunshine 🥺) @iknowthekoolaidflavor @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @tinywhim & @biafbunny all of whose works ive been reading for as long as (or longer than) ive been writing for this fandom has been so incredible and heart warming <3 ur all such damn sweethearts and ilu

& then there have been the new mutuals that have popped up and brightened my life like @commandersmiley @braidedchallah @ramp-it-up & @moondustmemories @summerofsnowflakes @raiseaglasstothefourofus (i know we don't chat much but ilu all sm 🥺)

& @id-do-it-for-free-babe @peoniarose @ohsoverykeri-blog (idk where the hyphens go in ur url ill fix it later) & @cloudynblw

then there's @einfachniemand who literally hypes me more than ANYONE else and is probably the most supportive person on this entire goddamn site ❣💕 i would give u the world if i could but alas i do not have that kind of power

and @youunravelme whose asks and notifs MAKE MY ENTIRE LIFE. u don't even know and i can't explain bruh i get like 80% of my serotonin from getting notifs from u and hearing ur thoughts in my inbox. it's the absolute best. u have made my 2020 like 80% better. i can't emphasize this enough you make me so happy.

and maybe (just maybe) im abt to mention @tinywhim again who is absolutely the kindest most gracious person alive i swear 🥺 also she wrote my absolute outright favorite thom fic that i have ever read (and yes, i have read quite a number of them since 2016) and im now enamored w demon!thom

and ofc @the-lost-marauder 🥰🥰 as much as i adore every single one of my followers and mutuals, ur by far one of my favorite ppl to hear from on this site. your thanksgiving ball oneshot is still one of my favorite things to read on here and u have absolutely excellent energy. i feel like we'd probably vibe irl (also pls more secret relationship vp!thom content!!! pl ease !!!!!! i need it asap)

and yes im abt to mention @deja-you again bc she's such a fucking sweetheart. the literal embodiment of sunshine and cotton candy. idk what else there is to say here u just have the purest vibes i feel like ur the type of person to save a cat from a tree or have a bird land on ur shoulder. u just have that energy 🥺💫 then again you outright broke my heart w foreign affairs so idk i might have to retract all that 😤

& special s/o to @fentinatalin for having shitty taste in men. that's all.

jk jk ily natalie 🤧❣ have i ever told u that when u hmu on ig i almost didn't dm u back bc it gave me anxiety and i thought you'd think i was uncool on main??? anyway im glad i did hit u back bc ur a ridiculously excellent friend and i frequently forget ive only known u for a couple months???? i realized recently that ive picked up some of ur texting habits and idk how to feel abt it . anyway ily thanks for existing

also mega shoutout to @maniacmichele bc ik i haven't answered ur graph theory ask but that's bc ive been watching math yt videos to try and dissect it until i can figure out wtf it all means. ur smart as shit and i am in awe of ur math brain ty for taking the time to explain that graph theory thing bc i have spent literal hours nerding out over it

also to @marioverthere bc i know we don't talk much anymore (FUCK time zones) but meeting you and getting the chance to know u literally made me so happy (also ur the reason i started staying current w/ the hk protests so ty ao much for making me aware of that darling)

and to @softclowninghours for having THE PUREST energy. u probably give excellent hugs i can just feel it. i just know it.

and then all my anons w ur lil emojis and signatures, who i love and cherish -- i won't try to list all of u bc i WILL forget some and im not tryna do u like that but some honorable mentions:

🐥 anon, for being like half the reason i ever touch my draft of lobsterback (ur my motivation, inspiration, muse, etc. thanks honey)

🍬 anon, for being absolutely fucking adorable and an enormous sweetheart

🐺 anon, for being friendly as hell and also kinda fucking hilarious. ur asks always make me smile

💙🖤 anon, for being so so so damn kind and supportive all the fucking time (ily)

there are so many people and blogs and anons that have made an impression on me this year, so believe me when i say this is very, very, VERY incomplete; if we've ever talked, or you've sent me an ask, or you've ever interacted with my post, you deserve a spot up here so pls forgive me for having 3 neurons and not remembering to mention u as i hastily write this post

literally though i love and appreciate every single one of you so much. this sounds like a huge platitude but i don't know how else to say it because there are genuine thousands of u who id list if i had more time or energy. you're all excellent. thank you so much for being alive at the same time as me.

also s/o to disney and lin for releasing the obc tape bc fr thats the only reason this fandom came back to life

+ also HUGE shoutout to the person who venmoed me ten bucks for the fotp smut. i don't have ur tumblr @ since u sent everything on anon but yk who you are; your generosity means the world to me and i hope the smut lived up to ur hopes and expectations

++ also the anon who encouraged me to actually write my art museum au 😌❣ ik it isn't up yet but ive been loving it so much and i hope u like it when it drops

[lunatens]

HI LUNA I'M SO SORRY I'VE BEEN MIA BUT IM BACK NOW EHEHEHE lksjdflksd i love spelling it's just so interesting how words,,, come together?? like what? who ever thought? why not add those extra u's in there? THANK YOU I WROTE ONE ESSAY PER DAY SO NOT THE MOST PRODUCTIVE BUT LIKE I GOT THEM DONE AND THEY'RE PRETTY OKAY IMO SO YAY!!! slkdjfkds i read that as "you're too young" and i was like '??? okey dokey' but it's true!! i could never art haha i mean obv practice but,,, i'll stick to ++

NO WORRIES AT ALL BB IT IS A-OKAY 😎😎 BUT WELCOME BACK HEHE 💖💘💘💓💓

woAH an essay a day :o listen that sounds pretty productive to me and u know what doing something every day is better than nothing!!! 😌😌😌 which is what i did oops haha the new semester starts monday and i haven’t finished my final film backgrounds yet aaaaa i’m pROUD !! u wrote those essays!!!!!! best writer ever i think 🤩🤩

SLFKDKSJ YES ITS SO TRUE like ah yes,, gotta,,, study their personalities and stuff mhm yes homework it’s important 😌 aND YES TBZ = WOWOWOWOW 🥺🥺 such amazing boys (or..boyz hehe)

AND YES UR ASKS LITERALLT MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYYY 😭😭😭 i love them so much ok it’s always so fuN to come on here and be like ohohoho what does 🌻 have to say today!!!! you’re always so sweet and so funny i 😭💖💘💘💘💓

oh yes it’s bang chan lol!!! too many chans 😳 but yeah idk why he just gave me chan vibes so i was like i dub thee chan and that was like two years ago i think? so then i was like well gotta name them all after idols now ig 🥴 but yeah it’s not something i like go out and tell people really so we good 😌😌

LOL as you can see it was not on anon but yes that’s ok!!! i’ve seen u in my notifs hehehe and now i know it’s you!! 🤩🤩 now we can be moots hehe alsO UR NAME IS STORM THATS SO COOL :O

ALSO OKAY Y/N IS 🧠🤏SMALL BRAIN OK don’t ask me why in sm!aus i always gotta make y/n be ✨extremely stoopid✨ at least to some degree glsksk but grrRRR tbh girl needs to have some sense knocked back into her 😤😤dw dw it’ll all be ok in the end or will it?👀

OFMGKSK HOME RUN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW 😭😭😭😭 THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB i loved the concept omg 🥺 also dw it’s okay i’ve watched the performance on youtube like a million times (my dad walked in and was like they have a lot of backup dancers and i was like No That’s Just Them)

i’m glad you’ve been doing well!! i’m so sorry things there have been so bad though, i hope you’re doing ok with all that pls you can always talk to me as much as you want about it!!!!!! gosh what a week indeed, i hope things will start to get better soon even if it’s just a little bit at a time 🥺💖 it will be okay!

DLGKJS YOURE SO SWEET I CANT—i’m feeling good though and eating and drinking water and sleeping and all that jazz!! i’m..not being as productive as i should but it’s so hard to motivate myself to do school stuff when i’m at home on break 😔 i’m going back up north tomorrow though! which i’m a lil not looking forward too skfjdjsj mostly because i don’t wanna go back to school where i have like basically no free time at all 😭😭 oh well in 4 months i’ll be done forever 😼😼

ANYWAYS that was so sweet of u like my heart is 💗💗💗💗 omg 🥺🥺 also all those questions back at you how are yOU are you taking care of yourself??? getting outside and stuff?? 🔫 i hope you’ve had a lovely day/night too!!!! forever sending u all the love 😌💖💝💝💕💞💗💓💘💖

[therushingwanderer]

I can't do this anymore!

Well, that's it. I've been away from tumblr since last november, and my plan was to wait until late may to decide whether to give a 2nd shot or give up. And also, because I was soooooo confident that Id have good news to say. Heck, I was even starting to make plans. But then, Covid-19 happened and all, so I've decided to just say bye already, since it will be ages, if ever, until I have good updates irl.

Which just makes me feel like shit, really. I already had to leave DeviantArt a few years ago, because it was getting extremely toxic over there. From people on the forums who should be in jail, to users crapping at me for my art style or ship fanart (and that's because I don't give much fucks to shipping in general, and mostly stick to canon pairings), I HAD to leave.

Then I've settled in here for a while. I never got much traction here for most of the time, but before this goddamn purge, it was "alright", I guess.

Now apparently, the purge is still going strong, and I don't feel like getting flagged for shirtless characters, nudity, or anything that's vaguely skin-toned. I already had so many times. Tumblr is so broken now.

And it's not like I'm enjoying Instagram all that much either. After a few weeks you've joined, the algorithms there works AGAINST your favor, unless you shell out some extra bucks for self-promotion. And people there are so fucking spoiled I swear. They expect you to post every single day, REGARDLESS of the kind of content you post. Oh and don't bother experimenting too much. And no, Im not talking about something like drawing Pacman one day, and abstract art the next. By "experimenting", I mean merely being a random-ish fuck like me, who draws fanart of all sorts of shit instead of just drawing idk, Gravity Falls or MLP over and over.

But still, I guess...that's what I have now. I miss so much DA from up until the early 10's, but there's nothing like that anymore (Pixiv is what comes closest to it, but its mostly used by asian anime fans), and guess Im just stuck with IG now. For how long l'll keep going tho, idk, really.

TL;DR: I'm done with tumblr's BS and I'm exclusively on Instagram now (@mellotronheartpff)

PS: I'll still be around once or twice a year so my blog doesn't get deactivated!

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

[flakandforay]

please help me to reblog!!! selling BTS art prints

so im currently in my 2nd year of uni and trying to earn my own income because most of the part time jobs that im looking at aren’t as flexible to my schedules and so im just struggling ish to make my own income and im quite stressed about it since this is my first sem not having a part time job. idk, it’s been a month or so and it’s stressing me out because there’s only so much I could do to earn my income 🥺 uploading this post already stresses me out.

hence ive actually started making my own BTS art prints which are 100% drawn by me. they are available in sizes of A5 and A6, printed on a textured paper (if im not wrong 100gsm min, I’ll get the exact measurements soon). there’s a total of 14 designs available!

1 A6 print - $4usd, $4.50sgd

1 A5 print - $5usd, $5.50sgd

Bundle of 5 A6 prints - $19usd, $21sgd

Bundle of 5 A5 prints - $25usd, $26sgd

if you’re getting the jimin x kitsune Ver, it’s an additional $0.50 regardless!

If you get a bundle of 5 it’s cheaper and I ship worldwide from Singapore! I highly recommend tracking numbers for postages and that I do accept payment in PayPal and ko-fi as well! prices stated exclude shipping fee + any necessary fees.

you can view some of my works here on ig, feel free to follow @bluesidedlie and also to check out the google link here, feel free to ignore the deadline inside.

some of my works are here as well attached. it would mean a lot if you could support some of my works, I’ve actually spent time doing them etc. Commissions wise I’ve closed them in the meantime to finish those that I’m doing!

if you aren’t able to get a print, please do help me reblog ;;; any questions, please message me! it would mean the world to me for this 🥺🥺🥺 thank you for reading this!!

[jewpacabruhs]

Shay I must say the funniest thing about your blog is the about link on your sidebar going to /heh and the about link on the bottom of that page going to /about which is a page that doesn't exist. I mean no malice with this genuinely find it charming. Hope ur life's treating u well

dsfdskjf ok funny story thts not intentional, i was remaking my thing but then had to stop halfway thru, before i could fix the links, and jus kinda never finished. so i have that tab open as i type to fix it but i havent stopped to cuz ive had a busy week fsdkjfhsd that is funny tho huh. i have a rlly nice about page i rlly gotta fix tht ima do tht in a sec after i finish smth up fjdskf

ive actually been doin p good!!! i got on a new antidepressant that’s working m u c h better than previous ones, & im starting college !! it’s worth noting im a chronic underachiever w zero ambition who thought i’d be dead by now hhhhhhh so i never considered college so me going is like,,,, yayyy for me ig fdhsjk. idk wat i wanna do w my life but i have some ideas so ill have to see what feels best. & that starts late sept but i fully intend to be active durin s23. & i get to go back to baltimore in three weeks for a wedding!! my orthodox cousin is getting married, it’ll actually be the first jewish wedding ive ever been to (and... third wedding ever actually, my fam hasnt had many newlyweds in my life huh), im v excited!! (maybe ill be inspired to write kyman havin a big fat jewish wedding after fhsdjfhsd.) im goin w my sis & dad for six days so we’ll get to explore washington dc too & i went in dec but it’ll b nice to go again,,,,, lotta nice stuff happening in my irl life rn im very grateful, esp cuz 2016 thru the first half of this year were p awful for me. so here’s to the hope 2020 will be better !! the cost might b abandoning a lot of my fandom life but i’ve made some lovely friends i intend to always keep in contact w but shit’s def harder when im busy : c sacrifices tho ig. either way thx for this sweet message anon! i hav some art i intend to queue up when i hav a sec & i still wanna write those drabbles i started