#new season is coming and there’s it’ll be insane!!

[timecryptid]

Have I watched the most recent season of Big Mouth? No

Am I however once against getting obessed with Nick x Missy aka a ship which has like 5 episodes in total and of those episodes they are actually dating for like 2 and there is no fanart and the only fanfiction exists solely in my head? Yes

[pixlmonkeys]

update wooooo I did Not get any concrete diagnosis other than the umbrella term of dysautonomia (heartbreaking) but I also do not have any serious heart problems (heartwarming) but that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel like shit (heartbreaking) and the advice they gave is to drink and eat more (extremely heartbreaking, I have bad food aversion so I physically cannot get myself to eat sometimes) so I’m not dying but I sure as hell don’t feel good either. so be it I guess (COPING SO HARD PLEEAAAASSEEE JUST LET ME FEEL NORMAL AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

AWESOME news though the guy who did the first half of the tests reminded me of zasp. how, you may ask? I DO NOT KNOW HOW he gave me zasp vibes he was cool and tall and that’s enough to be akin to zasp in my eyes i kinda wanna draw a human zasp now frfr

hype (DIES)

[bluebeary-jay]

Halcyon days

Based on this ask (i was stupid and started writing all this as a new post and not an answer im sorryyy)

Tags: fluff. INSANE amount of tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship, takes place after the events of season 1

Warnings: none? there is swearing and suggestive humor tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Word count: ~3K

A/N: My sweet anon I'm sorry that I didn't write the 'looking for a place to sleep' bit but I got carried away with your lovely request and it was already longer than I expected lol. I really hope you like it!! 💕 and thank you for being my first request! 😊

You shielded your eyes from the sun and shook your hand again, signaling for Joel to take it.

“Come on, you always whine about your back pains. It’ll do you good.”

“You think lyin’ on the cold hard ground will help me with that?” he asked with tongue in cheek.

“It's actually really soft. Come on, give it a try.” You patted the spot next to you, but the man still didn't move, scouting the area around you instead. You sighed heavily. “Alright, if it's too hard for your back I'll let you lay on me. Happy?”

Joel gave you a sultry look and finally intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I can already tell the ground will be really uncomfortable,” he said teasingly in this sexy drawl of his and you squinted at him.

“Sure you can.”

Joel craned his neck before he let himself get pulled down, and cupped his free hand around his mouth.

“Hey, kiddo!” he yelled to Ellie who was squatting near a small creek down the hill you were lying on. “You alright there?!”

“Yeah, yeah!” the girl shouted back, waving to you both. “Don't come down here, yet!”

“Okay! We’ll be right here if you need anything.”

“Sure thing! Just don't start shagging.”

You choked on air and looked in disbelief in the direction of Ellie’s voice, though you couldn't see the teen from where you were lying, as the view was obscured by high grass.

“Christ, this kid is impossible,” you mumbled as Joel sat down next to you with a loud grunt.

“Tell me somethin’ I don’t know. You didn’t hear her giving me so-called ‘relationship advices’ yesterday. And no,” he added when you opened your mouth, “m’not gonna repeat them to you. It was painful enough to have to endure it alone.”

“You know what they say,” you quirked your lips and he sent you a glare.

“I swear to god, if you quote that dumb comic again…”

You snorted, knowing he was saying it with fondness, judging by his tone and a tug of the corners of his lips. Joel shook his head and laid down slowly on the grass, closing his eyes. You cosied up next to him on your stomach and propped your chin on your hands.

For a couple of seconds you just admired his features and slow rise and falls of his chest, enjoying the quiet atmosphere around you and listening to the crickets chirping and birds singing in the tree crowns.

But of course he didn’t let you indulge yourself, because before long he cracked one eye open and sent you a suspicious glance.

“Why’re you staring?”

“You’ve got something on your cheek,” you answered without missing a beat. Joel wiped his face with an irritated look while you tried your hardest not to laugh out loud.

“Is it still there?” he asked, but you winced and tilted your head discontentedly.

“You just smudged it more. Hold on a second.”

He sighed tiredly and closed his eyes again when you shuffled closer, partially draping yourself over his torso. One of his arms automatically encircled your waist to cuddle you up while he kept the other one under his head. You smirked to yourself and took his face between your hands, pretending to hum in focus. After a couple of seconds Joel cracked his eye open and glanced up at you.

“Jesus, I can feel you burning a hole in my skull. Is my head covered in fungi, or something?”

“Not yet,” you joked. “Keep your eyes closed.”

He exhaled heavily again and relaxed under you, totally oblivious to the mischievous smirk on your face. You faked scraping something off his cheek and when you were pretty sure he lowered his guard, you surged forward and quickly gave the bridge of his nose a small peck.

Joel’s eyes immediately snapped open and a surprised – and then delighted – smile spread across his face.

“What are you doin’?”

“Nothing at all,” you answered innocently, but this time you couldn’t hide a sly grin threatening to split your face in half. “I told you you have something on your cheek.”

Joel made a sound of fake acknowledgment and took his other hand from under his head to pull you even closer and on top of himself. You giggled when he nudged your nose with his, trailing his fingers up and down the back of your neck.

“On my cheek, you say?”

“Mhm.”

“I don’t think you got it, then. You aimed at my nose,” he mused cheekily, making you laugh again.

“Oh, you’re right! Silly me.” You leaned in and kissed his jaw this time, smiling against his facial hair. “Let me…” another kiss, this time on his forehead, “...try again, then…” another, next to his eye, “...just to be sure.”

It wasn’t often that Joel let you (and himself) be so affectionate when you weren’t alone, but you guessed Ellie was far enough that he didn’t worry about it now. Or maybe he was just in a good mood – it happened a lot more often lately.

After everything that transpired in the hospital, you were worried Ellie wasn’t going to believe his version of events and shut herself off, but whether the teen still doubted your and Joel’s words or not, she didn’t seem eager to distance herself from you two.

Which was a damn big relief for you, and even a greater one for Joel – not that he’d ever admit it.

Anyone who would bother to look could see that the man was a lot happier lately. He found his brother, he had you, and he didn’t lose Ellie like you knew he feared. The three of you still went on trips outside of Jackson – or like Ellie liked to call them, ‘spontaneous adventures’ – and this was one of the places you personally liked the most. A secluded meadow with a hill overgrown with flowers and leading down to a small torrent at the base of it. Noone has ever ventured so far beyond the especially-hard-to-cross portion of the river, but the place was worth the effort as it was so beautiful, it looked like it was pulled out of a fairy tale.

Speaking of beautiful, Joel cupped your cheeks and let his warm gaze rove over your face as if he wanted to commit it to memory. You were just about to ask if you had something on your face as well, when he spoke up quietly.

“Do you have any idea how goddamn gorgeous you are?” he asked, brushing the strands of your hair out of your face.

“Stop it,” you snapped back, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, but Joel tsked, guiding your chin to look at you again.

“You are,” he said, sounding almost surprised at how bashful you got, before his lips stretched into a smirk. “Are you just fishin’ for compliments, darlin’? Denyin’ it so that I can praise you more?”

“I’m not!” You laughed at the sheer thought of that and Joel took that opportunity to plant a kiss above your mouth. “If anything, you’re just trying to rile me up and get me to compliment you.”

“Don’t even try,” he warned you seriously, but you just shrugged with a playful expression.

“Well, I have to remind you sometimes how good-looking you are,” you whispered against his lips, smiling brightly when you felt his breathless chuckle.

“Shut up.”

“Not until–”

He cut you off by sliding his hand to the back of your neck and pulling you up carefully so he could kiss you deeply. You smiled into the kiss, knowing very well what he’s doing, but not minding it in the slightest.

“You’re trying to distract me,” you accused him when the two of you parted, but he shook his head and tutted. His thumb was brushing your cheek slowly and your body burned in all places he was touching you. You reminded yourself about Ellie’s words and tried to calm down.

“Nah. You had somethin’ on your face, too, and I wanted to return the favor.”

He was so silly sometimes, you almost couldn’t believe that those hands were capable of anything else than caressing your skin so lovingly.

“Liar,” you whispered, earning yourself a low chuckle.

“I could say the same about you.”

You couldn’t help the squeal that escaped you when he turned you over in a swift motion so that now you were lying on your back with the man hovering above you. Whatever protests you might’ve had, they were swallowed down by Joel’s lips on yours, and you hummed happily at the feeling of his touch.

The two of you took several minutes to enjoy each other’s company to the fullest, planting lazy kisses on your faces and whispering silly words of affection. At one point Joel sighed contently, peppering the edge of your jaw and neck with soft kisses, and then laid his head on your chest. One of his arms snaked around your waist to hug you tighter and he closed his eyes.

You pressed your lips together not to giggle, and started to slowly run your fingers through his hair. He groaned and you felt his muscles relaxing under your touch.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna fall asleep,” he murmured and you kissed the crown of his head softly.

“Maybe that’s exactly my plan. You don’t get enough rest.”

“Stop,” he said again, though he didn't make any attempt to pull away or stop you himself. “Someone's gotta keep an eye on everything.”

“I’ll make sure we’re safe,” you shushed him, gently scratching the spot behind his ear, to which he made a sound not unlike purring. You suppressed a smile. “Besides, I’ve never seen an infected around here. The chances of something stumbling upon us…”

“...are much higher if we let our guard down,” he finished, his hand going to the gun lying on the grass on his other side to make sure he could reach it quickly. “I don’t want something to happen to you or Ellie.”

“I know, love,” you whispered, kissing his forehead again, trying to make some of those worry wrinkles disappear. “Just close your eyes for a moment. I’ll make sure nothing happens during this time.”

He sighed again and nuzzled his head more into your chest. “You’re a treasure, darlin’.”

“Obviously,” you murmured in response and felt his chest rumble with quiet laughter. “I love you, you know?”

“Love you, too.” He shook his head lightly, but the smile didn’t fade from his face. “Even though you’re a menace.”

“Shut up and relax already. I’ll stand guard.”

He just grumbled again. You took a deep breath of summer air and looked up to the sky.

*****

You didn’t plan on falling asleep.

Even before you opened your eyes, having registered a tip of a shoe nudging your arm and rousing you from your nap, you felt this terrible, gnawing feeling of guilt and panic. Joel would kill you if…

But no, he was still asleep with his head lying heavily on your chest. You sighed with relief and opened your eyes, squinting at Ellie standing above you.

“Finally! How loud do I have to ‘psst!’ for you to wake up? Jesus, I started to think you both are dead.”

You grumbled and rubbed your eyes. You felt dizzy, but that was always the case when you fell asleep in the middle of the day. It was an hour or so before sunset now, and the field you rested on was bathed in a warm, orange glow.

“Not dead,” you yawned drowsily and nodded at the teen. “What’s up?”

Ellie pointed at Joel. “Wake up the old man.”

You furrowed your brows. “What? Why?”

“Because I want to push you both down the hill,” she whispered in a mocking tone and rolled her eyes when you lifted your eyebrows. “I have something to show you, if you really need to know.”

She did have one of her hands hidden behind her back, so it wasn’t completely unlikely. Still, something about it smelled fishy.

“Why didn’t you wake him up yourself?” you asked in a whisper, too, honestly surprised that you both still had to keep your voices down. Usually the slightest sound woke Joel up, but now he didn’t even stir. Ellie groaned and pointed her hand at you both, like it was obvious.

“Because last time he gave me a bunch of shit about it! And he won’t be mad at you if you do this.”

She had a point, if you wanted to be honest with yourself. Normally you would tease her for it, but lately Ellie rarely acted so secretive and excited, so you decided to humor her this time.

“I’ll blame it on you if he gets angry at me.”

“I’ll really push you down the hill if you do.”

You stick your tongue out at her, which Ellie mirrored, before rolling your eyes and shifting your attention to the man still lying motionlessly on top of you.

“Joel…” you mumbled into his skin, brushing your fingers through his hair lightly. A low grumble issued from his chest and you chuckled despite yourself, leaning down to kiss his forehead softly. You pretended not to hear Ellie gagging in the background. “Come on, I know you’re not asleep.”

He sighed heavily and finally opened his eye, but then he shifted his gaze to Ellie’s form, and let his eyelid drop again.

“Get rid of the kid,” he murmured, snuggling back into your chest.

His head started to shake from the laughter reverberating inside your chest and Ellie gasped indignantly, now having no reservations about going around you and kicking Joel’s leg.

“Fuck off and get your lazy ass up!”

Joel sighed martyrly, as if that was the greatest sacrifice somebody could demand from him, but finally got up, freeing you from under his weight but also depriving you of his safe embrace. He looked at Ellie and lifted his eyebrows, waiting.

The girl in question grinned and pulled a bunch of flowers from behind her back.

Before you realized that it actually wasn’t a bouquet, but several flower crowns, Joel was already shaking his head and actually backing away. “No. No way.”

“Oh my gosh, they’re beautiful, Ellie!” you admired her work, not paying attention to the man behind you, and shifted closer to get a better look. “Where did you learn that?”

“One of those books Tommy gave me had a guide how to do it,” Ellie explained with a wide smile. It surprised you a little that she’d be so enthusiastic about a skill like that, but then she turned back to Joel and her eyes glinted with mischief. “C’mon, try it on.”

“No.”

“Can I pick one?” you asked, once again ignoring your partner. Ellie shook her head, now not even trying to hide a proud, mocking grin that widened when she saw how reluctant Joel was.

“No. Yours is the one with those small yellow shits.” You snorted at the name Ellie gave tiny, round flowers, but put it on immediately. The girl held the crown made out of blue and purple flowers on her lap, and stuck out the last one with small pink and white flowers in Joel’s direction. “And that’s all yours.”

“No,” he repeated. You sat next to Ellie and turned to him with a fake pout on your face.

“Joel, we don't turn down gifts. It's not polite.” He glared at you as you leaned on Ellie’s shoulder. “Ellie has worked on it for so long, think how exhausting it must've been!”

“Look at my poor, tired hands,” Ellie sighed dramatically, lifting her hands and wiggling her fingers, and you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you.

Joel looked from her to you with a grimace. You mouthed ‘please?’ to him and he groaned, running his hands down his face.

And then – making Ellie snort and you jump excitedly in place – he took the flower crown from the girl and all but dropped it onto his head.

“Joke’s on you, because I know for a fact pink looks great on me.”

“Glad you think so, because…” Ellie trailed off with a shit-eating grin and threw her backpack on the ground, quickly rummaging through it. You grabbed onto Joel’s arm before he had a chance to escape when she pulled out one of those old cameras with a flip screen, making him sigh even louder. “Now move your ass.”

While Ellie was positioning herself between the two of you and turning on the device, you quickly lifted Joel’s hand to your lips behind her back, kissing his fingers with a grateful smile. He seemed to have given in to his fate, not making any attempt to move away or talk his way out of it, just rubbing his brow with a tired expression. The smallest of smiles found its way onto his face when he felt your lips on his skin and he glanced up at you with fondness.

“You two will be the death of me,” he muttered, and Ellie poked him in the ribs with her elbow.

“Shut up and smile. We don’t have much sunlight left.”

You scooted over closer to Ellie to fit in the frame, squinting a little from the reddish-orange sun blinding you from behind a cloud above the horizon. The girl snapped one photo and made a different face, and in that split second your eyes darted to Joel’s in the small screen of the camera.

He still looked very reluctant to be in a photo, but you could see he was trying to hold back a smile.

He did look good in pink. And you meant the flowers as well as the small blush adoring his cheeks.

[chheese-mmmhh]

actually i’m not done talking about that mf still so bear with me im gonna go on a quick rant

this is so going to be his “oh shit im in love with my best friend” moment for so many reasons my brain can’t function

Reason #1: that is lover stark’s realization face i SWEAR…it’s like the same face he made before and after he kissed tommy

this face!!!!! it’s the same one!!!!! that’s his smitten, i have a crush face i swear i swear

Reason #2: the lighting in the still is almost giving him a halo (?) with the way its bouncing off of his hair and maybe i’m delusional (i am) but they wouldn’t do that unless they were framing this as some kind of innocent or maybe religious (in the emotionally reborn way) experience (aka my bff is so marriage material)

Reason #3: the way the light is only on and around his head means it’s framed as some kind of lightbulb moment for him…this is something that happens fairly frequently in tv shows and it’s something we KNOW they do for buck because they did it in 7.04 with buck and tommy

this was right after they kissed for the first time and when buck was finally completely aware of his bisexuality so!!! lightbulb moment!!!!! it’s the same basic frame style as the still just like…less cinematic ergo buck is having yet another big realization

Reason #4: it’s in the locker room!!!! (i’m aware this one has less merit but i can’t stop thinking about it shhdbd) this season especially we have seen the locker room as somewhere that the deeper conversations are had… as far as i’m aware (i’d have to rewatch to be certain) we haven’t actually had a real scene in the locker room 7.01 “welcome back to the world of the living” scene (gay) and the 7.02 “three judas’s” thing…SO whatever scene this comes after will be an important conversation since it’s in the locker room (as long as it follows the theme)

Reason #5 (my favorite): it’s a callback to the 7.01 “welcome back to the world of the living” scene!!!!!! right as eddie is leaving after saying that we see a verrry similar shot

similar shot!!!!!! only difference is that in the new still the camera is moved so that buck is actually standing in the light…almost like they’re saying that the scenes are connected but now buck is able to fully realize what he could only partially understand????? maybe????? like at the beginning of the season he wasn’t aware of his bisexuality yet but he WAS aware that he felt safe or alive with eddie (since eddie was literally the one to “welcome” him into this new, moving forward stage) and now in the new still it’s in the same place with a very similar shot but framed as buck having that lightbulb moment i am going insane

ANYWAY this will be buddie confirmation i can feel it in my BONES…we don’t know when this still is from but i’d get my ass that it’ll be the last episode (like starting and ending the season with these scenes) and the next season will be their getting together arc i can FEEL IT I CAN FEEL IT I SWEAR

[danielsarmand]

ugh yes you get it it’s not ABOUT ships being endgame i feel like ppl have come to expect that nowadays and it’s really weird. whatever happened to scraping for crumbs of interaction and running 20 miles with whatever we got?? and even if a ship does become ‘canon’ it’ll usually never happen in the way you personally want anyway. they’re NARRATIVE FOILS babe it doesn’t get much better than this i am eating it UP

i swear the new season has been EXASPERATING from a fandom standpoint. i think in retrospect it was like this with season one and the whole mel thing, too, but enough time has passed that my brain conveniently forgot about that.

i don't want to make this about age, but when i was growing up in fandom we used to have maybe a 1% canonization rate when it came to queer ships, which forced me to develop an array of skills i don't see much of anymore. queercoding and queer characters were there still, regardless of how canon or not a ship was, and everyone agreed that canon love interests mattered very little when the dynamic of two characters was the core of said characters.

i genuinely could care less about mel and jayce when they uh. got together i guess??? and i say i guess because we barely know anything about their relationship and dynamic. which is the point! we know way more about him and viktor, so that's where my thoughts go.

people were making a fuss over jayce and mel fucking, meanwhile i was going insane over their sex scene being paralleled to viktor coughing blood, and about how afterwards we see mel waking up in bed alone because viktor wakes up in bed and jayce is beside him. now, people are making a fuss about viktor and sky and i'm over here thinking of what sky is: a symbol, a representation of viktor and jayce's dream, of viktor's humanity and of his remorse. because that isn't even grief—he barely knew sky, didn't even look at her once in season one, he cannot grieve someone he didn't care for; he grieves her POTENTIAL, what she could have been had he let her, he feels guilty for being the cause of her death and he clings to his humanity through her.

arcane is all about visuals. every single frame. none of it is left to chance. and this is unfortunate when its viewers seem adamant on not turning on their brains whilst they watch.

[thatsdemko]

to live, to learn, and to love - d.ricciardo

masterlist

pairings: Daniel ricciardo x athlete!reader

warnings: time jump + talks of Covid + some depression talks + some inaccuracies of Daniels career

a/n: hope this cheers everyone up xx

2018 - to live

“so what do you guys have planned this summer?” you ask. the tiny microphone clipped to your shirt is finally off for good. for the first time in a year, cameras would no longer follow your ever move, microphones would no longer hover of your head, you could go back to a normal life of training and relaxing. freedom at last.

“we are actually filming a new docuseries, ever heard of formula one?”

you shake your head, puzzle look on your face creates a little laughter from everyone’s lips as they agreed to never hearing about it until Daniel. whoever Daniel was, he seemed to be quite popular to the crew.

“I guess I haven’t, but hey I’m all about growing sports.”

“well you wouldn’t believe where we get to go next weekend— you should come! it’ll be so much fun.”

the film crew talks of Monaco and the infamous track that they’ve learned can be brutal but kind. their invitation lingers around the room for a couple more minutes as crew begins to clean up the scene.

“so? you coming or what?”

“when’s the plane leave?”

—

Monaco roars with noise you’ve never heard. so much so, the noise canceling headphones can’t even drown out the cheers for the drivers. you spend all mid-afternoon shaking hands and learning names of the drivers you’re sure you’ll forget by the night. but Daniel sticks out.

you knew right away who he was. by the laughter and his smile, he had a way with the crew that nobody on your team had. the smile on all the crew members for not only Netflix, but his own team were contagious. he had you smiling within minutes.

“congratulations on your season and Netflix series! I’ve got it downloaded for the plane ride.” he engulfs you into a tight hug for a brief second before showing you his car. the mighty Red Bull car, sleek in its red and blue stripes under the Monaco sun, his pride is contagious, you can’t help but grow confidence in his racing skills.

“how’s Monaco treating you?” you look up at him, his tan skin kissed by the sun and genetics, his beautiful brown curls make your fingers itch to run through them. it’s not only his smile that makes your stomach twirl, it’s all of him.

“just about alright, I’ve got a good spot on the grid and I’m ready to kick ass.” he claps his hands mischievously making a laugh escape your body.

“you’ll do great! I believe in you!”

you like to think your words of encouragement solidified his win in Monaco, but that would be a selfish reason. you’d like to hate Monaco for all the reasons why you left completely enamored by Daniel ricciardo.

2020 - to learn

boredom struck. your legs, mind, and rest of your body itch to train while you’re copped up in your parents house; a tragedy as nobody else lives here. you sit alone in the basement that once had become your personal gym, but now only has a treadmill that you’ve become bored of.

you huff out a sigh, looking around the room there’s not one object heavy enough for you to lift. you curse your parents for taking all the things you needed to their stupid summer home, and you curse them for not wanting to spend time with you.

loneliness was at an all time high. you’d become so exhausted of it, that talking to yourself became the only answer. it was the only thing you had left.

you moved from the big city where all your teammates stayed put. you didn’t bother to look back once restrictions were set in place, you needed to be somewhere sane, but rather that was the opposite. you were going insane.

an alert on your phone pulls you away from the five pound weights in your hand. you look down on the floor to see an Instagram notification which was awfully unusual.

danielricciardo: if I show up on a horse in Austin, would that get me laid?

yourusername: depends. who are you trying to get with?

you can’t help but laugh. you hadn’t heard from him in four years. you’d occasional check his instagram, see what he was doing, and even become friends on LinkedIn, but the boredom must’ve been at an all time high for him to message you.

danielricciardo: you.

—

“I’d kiss the chef.” he says almost immediately once your face comes up on the screen. the apron you’re wearing was to prevent spilling or messes to your clothes, it was definitely not an attractive sight. but to Daniel it was.

“you can kiss me right here.” you point to your ass, hearing his laugh erupt on the other side of the screen. it was morning time in Perth, and by morning, you meant way to fucking early in the morning for anyone but him to be awake.

“what are you making?”

“none of your business.”

“well it’s my business when you call me.” he says watching you prop up the cook book that lay beside your phone. you point to the page that had flour, sugar, and all other ingredients across the page.

“ah a birthday cake, and who’s this for?”

“my neighbor. he turns ninety tomorrow so it’s a big deal! it has to be good!”

“and you need my help why?” he reminds you of why you called. you stick out your tongue and your middle finger earning a laugh. you want more of that laughter, you’d do anything to hear it in person again.

“because what do men like? I need to get him a gift.”

“y/n, I’m thirty. I’m not even close to ninety are you insinuating I’m old?”

a blush creeps into your cheeks that’s noticeable on the screen, “I’m kidding! I get why you called, you don’t have to close off.”

in the minimal amount of time knowing Daniel, he calls you out on all of your shit. like how he knows you missed garbage day based off the way your bathroom looks, or how he judges you for not taking the chance to run faster. he’s far worse than personal trainer, but you’d keep him around for his honesty and his kindness.

“I have to go to the store early tomorrow, so what do you think he’d like?”

“you didn’t buy toilet paper again?”

“people don’t listen to the two per person rule! I swear!”

he tsks you so much you can’t even put in a single word. your nervous laughter fills his ears and warms his chest. why did you have to live thousands of miles away? he’s praying they find a cure for Covid fast, he doesn’t think he can live another second without you.

2021 - to learn

a new year, a new set of restrictions, oh and you.

you, in the silly 2021 plastic glasses, sit on the couch in the mixed of his friends and family in his Monaco home. he couldn’t believe the sight, it was a winter miracle you’d made it out alive of the winter storm to his side.

after months of talking, you’d considered yourselves dating. it was different—with not being physically intimate or even having real dates—but the attraction and energy that flowed through you two was undeniable. you couldn’t stay friends, not after every phone call, text message, and filthy instagram dm, Daniel ricciardo wove his way right into your heart.

“what’s your wish for new years?”

“wish? isn’t it a resolution?” you give him a pointed look watching his hands fly up in defense, “we do things differently here. we don’t set goals, we set wishes. so what do you wish for?”

you think long and hard for a moment staring at the man in front of you. his brown eyes full of life and beauty stare into yours. his family and friends wait patiently as you think to yourself.

“I wish for love.”

he scoffs in response almost instantly. he couldn’t help it, to wish for love felt stupid, but Daniels hand clasping against yours makes your heart flutter and skin warm to his touch, “well your wish came true, because I’m here to show you just how much I love you.”

2022 - to love

pregnant.

it’s no wonder doing mundane activities were killing you, and getting up any time before 6am was a threat to your immune system. little did you know it didn’t matter when you woke up, you’d still be pregnant and with a heavy case of morning sickness.

and while 2022 is looking awful to different from the past two years of your relationship, Daniel was changing. you’d noticed how physically unfit he was for training, and it wasn’t because he lost his touch, he looked more sick than you did.

the smile that once reached his eyes and infected a dozen or more individuals, was fading. the light in his eyes barely shined anymore, and while he should be happy his girlfriend is pregnant, the glow on his face doesn’t reflect his words.

you’d talked with zak, asked him how Daniel had been doing and to monitor his health, but little did you know the same man you trusted was the reason for his depression.

“Danny,” you whisper slightly hoping to god he doesn’t answer, but he hardly sleeps anymore.

your touch sinks his body further into the mattress. you mold your body and growing belly against him, fingers drawing all sorts of relaxing shapes, “I love you,” you whisper trying to your best to hold in the sob desperately trying to escape, “but I hate how sad you are. I miss you, I miss us.”

your sudden words ache his heart. he hears your pain, it makes him lift his hand and clasp his hand on top of yours allowing your silent sob to increase in volume, “what’s happening to you, it’s not right.“

“I know,” he whispers back. his words hang in the room for a little longer before he turns to face you, his fingers quickly wipe your tears, “I’m going to get better. for you, for us, and for her. okay?”

“okay.”

—

“can you keep a secret?”

“depends,” lando responds turning on his heel, his adorable smile turning his lips upward, “what’s my reward?”

“a kiss on the cheek?”

he nods in approval, “kiss first, secret later.” he taps his cheek, watching you roll your eyes before you quickly press your lips to his skin and pull away.

“I’m pregnant.”

“old news, what else?” he shrugs it off.

“Daniels leaving.”

“what?” you watch lando’s shoulders fall as he collapses into the chair below him, “please tell me it’s because of the baby and not anything else?”

your hesitation earns a permanent frown on his lips, “I thought I could save him.” he lets out a deep sigh allowing you wrap him into your arms, “I think it’s what’s best.”

“I agree, but you’ll still have cool uncle rights.”

“yes! oh, that’s the best news ever! I have to tell max!”

Daniels foot steps echo throughout the hallway of the private room you were in with lando. not another soul is in the McLaren hospitality, as everyone had seemed to vanish once practice rounds were over, but you’d stayed waiting despite longing for a warm shower and Daniels hands against your belly. god, how much more love sick could you be? it was evident Daniel didn’t feel much of the same right now, and you tried your best to put on a big smile and positive attitude.

“there he is.” you move over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him downward so you can press a kiss to his lips.

“I have to stay a little later.” he mumbles before pressing another kiss to your lips, “why don’t you head back with lando?”

“but I want to stay.” you frown pulling away from his body. it gives you a chance to look him in the eyes, the dark circles are much more evident, the glimmer of hope and love have seemed to vanish his eyes replaced with sadness. why did this have to happen to him? it’s just not right, you think to yourself.

“will you at least eat dinner with me?”

he shakes his head, “I really have to get back to the car.” he pushes a strand of your hair behind your shoulder, “why don’t you order room service? it’s on me, get whatever you’re craving.”

“I’m craving you, but you’re making yourself unavailable—again, might I add.”

his eyes close for a brief moment. his fingers play with the hem of his bright orange shirt, you can feel the anxiety radiating off of him. it terrifies you what’s next. “y/n, they are terminating my contract. can you just go home with lando?”

the grit of his words are like nails on a chalkboard. you swear you could feel yourself becoming lightheaded you don’t even realize lando was the one to catch you from falling backward. terminate? they were done with him? you feel a sob take over your body, it takes ten minutes for lando to calm you down, as Daniel was nowhere to be seen.

the car ride to the hotel was silent. with lando taping away on his phone, and you staring out the window in a daze there was nothing that could pull you away. well, maybe there was.

danielricciardo: if I do ridiculous side burns would you still sleep with me?

a snort escapes your lips. he knows how to turn a bad day into a good one.

yourusername: depends. how ridiculous are they?

danielricciardo: so ridiculous you might wish I didn’t get you pregnant.

yourusername: now I would never wish on that. we love you Danny.

love. it’s a strange feeling that’s settling into his chest right now as he stares at zak brown, the man he’d been warned about years ago, but he never listened. now hearing it from you, he knew love conquered all of his fears and anxiety about leaving. because in the end, your love made him feel whole again.

to live, to learn, and to love.

[BONUS SCENE]

2023 - living, learning, and loving

“oh my, you’re so big now! what are they feeding you?” lando’s gasp earns a ripple of head turns. he’s rushing his way over to you and your new born daughter, mila.

“whatever it is, it’s clearly working on you too. what’s this you’ve got going on? is it a beard?” you carefully run your fingers over the hair on his chin making him pull away, a blush creeping onto his cheeks, “fine I’ll shave it.”

“take it from me, the minute I got home from Austin I wasn’t allowed in the bed until I shaved it all off.” Daniel rubs his fingers over the stubby hairs against his cheeks, “some women don’t like that down there—“

“Daniel!” you hiss, hands placed against his chest you give him a hard shove.

the roar of his laughter echoes throughout the paddock. it brings a flock of his friends and former colleagues together surrounding you both and your daughter, mila.

she was a happy blessing out of a horrible year. her arrival was earlier than expected, but seeing Daniels smile finally reach his eyes, it was like she knew he needed that.

“I can’t decide what’s cuter, her curls or her rolls. how do you sleep at night with such a difficult question?” Charles looks between you two and watches the devilish smirk lift upon Daniels lips, “actually don’t answer that, I see where your mind is taking you.”

“it’s good to have you back.” the Ferrari driver smiles. before he walks away he says one more thing to brighten your days, “and I mean that. it’s good to have the you we all love back.”

you lived, you learned, and you’re still loving.

tags: @oconso @xcicix @imsorare @weasleyswizardwheezes-blog @monzabee @lpab @frreyaa @motorsp0rt @lovelytsunoda @smoothopz @jaehyunluvcult @iloveyou3000morgan @lunnnix @leclerc13

[numberonetacostan]

TACO IN III AU

HELLO HELLO HELLO EVERYONE I COME AT YOU WITH AN AU I HAVE!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D IT’S TACO IN SEASON 3 THAT’S THE AU YUP YUP YIPPEE!!!!!!! I HAVE DESCRIPTIONS FOR HOW EACH EPISODE WOULD CHANGE WITH TACO’S PRESENCE!!!! IT’LL CHANGE MORE AS THE SEASON GOES ON BUT I WILL BE STICKING MOSTLY WITH CANON HERE OTHER THAN ONE NOTABLE EXCEPTION!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^ ENJOY!!!! (especially you, sanon!!)

Episode 1 (Stranded in Paradise): Okay!! So the episode here starts as normal, favorites (not Taco!!) are all on the boat, that line about Box that’s really dark in retrospect, they crash onto Paradise, fans are introduced!!! Before the teams are made though, Mephone says they have ooooooone more favorite to bring in, who couldn’t come on the boat since she wasn’t in the hotel. Balloon and Painty offer their own guesses (“Is it Suitcase?!” “Or Lightbulb?!”) and Mephone gives a pleasant little “Nope!!” Before snapping open a portal that Taco falls out of!! She lands face down on the ground with a little “oof!” [sidenote: her little oof in episode 13 is so damn cute if you don’t remember it go listen to it its adorable]. Anyways, the s1 favorites are all VERY surprised to see her again, as it’s already been years since any of them have seen her at this point. Mephone welcomes her to season 3 as she’s getting up, and Taco is NOT having it. She does NOT want to be part of ANOTHER season of Inanimate Insanity. Inanimate Insanity sucks and she wants the entire show to end actually, she’s tired of it! Mephone just gives her a similar response about swimming as he does to OJ when he wants to leave, and jumps to dividing up the teams! Paintballs explode, Taco is on the yellow team. Aaaand Mephone introduces the cast to his quirky new assistant who strapped the paintballs to them, The Floor!!!! :3!!! He is Mephone’s assistant the entire time in this AU to make room for Taco in the cast.^^ If you’re wondering where she would go in the intro, she would still take Floory’s place because she is refusing to participate. This will become a common sight in the early episodes of this AU. Speaking of Taco not doing these bloody challenges, cliff jump time!!!! Remember how Yin-Yang kicks OJ and Painty off the cliff? Yeah he just grabs Taco’s head while she’s busy being sad and shocked about getting portal’d into another season of ii. Episode 14 happened so recently for her, she has so much to think about, and now she’s not only been forcibly taken out of hiding, but placed into another season of II against her will!!!! She is at the height of her mental health being bad. That Taco can fit so very much self-loathing in her. And having OJ of all people on her team doesn’t make that better. Anyways, Blue still loses, Blueberry is still eliminated, the season’s a-go!

Episode 2 (The Shame of the Name): Okie dokie uh I do not think Taco would show up to Boaty’s funeral she is avoiding everyone else as much as possible. She would not be interested in the challenge nor the team names either. However!!! Without The Floor, the yellow team would not know about the Sinkers’ team name,,, although to be honest I do believe that they could end up with the name ‘Thinkers’ even without that knowledge. Also I am bad at naming teams. So. Thinkers it is!! The team name isn’t that important anyways. [But if anyone has any other ideas, I’d be happy to hear them out!!] Taco does not link minds with everyone else. I do not believe she is even present for the contest. She does not want to be a part of this season. If she can’t leave, she will minimize her own involvement as much as she can. She has walked off, and is probably working on making herself a little hut to live in away from where everyone else is staying. 

Episode 3 (Snapshot Showdown): Here’s another one in which Taco doesn’t really participate… I promise this is going to get more interesting. No pansexual camera for her :(. I’m being so real here guys Taco is just hanging out in her hut this entire challenge. She is the only one who has a calm evening. Honestly if no one goes and gets her, which I doubt they would at this point, I don’t think she’d even know a challenge was happening. Until The Floor tells her!! He knows everything about the terrain, because he is the terrain, so he’d know where Taco’s hut is!!! He would probably inform her that they’ve started a challenge :). She would not care though she is too busy thinking about how she fumbles every relationship she forms and how she’s trapped in another season of Inanimate Insanity. If you are here for Taco to be having a good time I am so sorry this is not that au. 

Episode 4 (The Overthinkers): They’re up for elimination because Taco continues to not participate. She is not even at the challenge, which means she doesn’t reach the top of the volcano nor press the button, so Thinkers lose! NOW you might think that this makes the episode very short. Because they would all agree to vote Taco out. But this is not the case!!! Because Silver has access to the viewer vote stats, and a certain british foodstuff has been consistently getting the most votes. So the episode would continue mostly normally!! Meetings, anti-girl club, inner flame, press the button!!! I love Overthinkers :3 such a funny episode!!!!! So, elimination time!! The Floor lets Taco know that an elimination is going to happen and she shows right up!! She’s confident that she’s going to be eliminated and will finally get to leave this awful island and this horrid game and go back to. Huh. She doesn’t really have anything to go back to, really. Mepad’s comatose body? Another scheme? :(. But!!!! At least she’ll be out of the game. So anyways yeah Taco gets the immunity votes. Taco does not count :). Yin-Yang’s self confidence is spared!! Taco’s emotional state is not, not that it really could be at this point. OJ is still eliminated, but Taco is still too shocked and upset and in despair to feel anything about that. Silver does direct part of his speech towards her, though!! He admires her!!!! He wants to be in an alliance with her, and proposes it to her!! He would have approached her earlier, but since she’s been walking off and not participating he does in here in his grand triumphant speech. He got rid of her biggest competition, they could go far together!! Taco is not receptive at all, she doesn’t want to be in an alliance and “go far”, she wants to leave!!!!! The cracks on her shell get worse here!! She cracks more due to the emotional distress, poor thing. This is going to keep happening btw, it gets worse and worse because I like to hurt my favorite characters. Also because her mental state gets worse and worse the longer she’s forced to be in the game. She got the most votes, but still wasn’t allowed to leave. She’s still trapped.

Episode 5 (Tragedy at 60 Feet): Floory shows the Thinkers where Taco’s hut is at their request, and they drag her along to the challenge!! They do not want to risk her lack of presence making them lose another challenge. She’s still not participating tho lol, their egg-box-thingy is even worse than before, not even a lid this time, and their egg still breaks. Womp-womp!! The Thinkers can still have their leadership crisis, Silver can still tell everyone off about it, although his ice is noticeably thinner with Painty due to him adding his attempt to ally himself with Taco into his victory speech from last episode. Candle tries to reach out to Taco a bit during this ep, she can tell that Taco is messed up and doing TERRIBLE mentally, but Taco is very unreceptive and tries to get Candle to leave her alone. Candle does, but only after giving some of her sage advice, maybe about new chances and connections and apologies and such, yeah? Taco isn’t interested, though. I don’t think Silver would try again with Taco after this, he doesn't like being told no, especially with how annoyed she was at him and how public it was, yeah?

Episode 6 (Try Not to Laugh Challenge): Taco is the nuisance just like Floory was! Which is not good for the Thinkers because she is once again not doing anything. The only person the Floor gets out on their own is Goo, who is trying to cheer up Clover with Bot. Maybe he can end up making himself laugh while he tries to cheer up Clover? Oh my god the sour cream line. And if Taco is taking the floor's place then she's on the stage for that. Everyone goes quiet. Looks from Bot to Taco. Her shell cracks more and more as the season goes on; This would be one of those moments. She already wasn't really trying to do anything but she's just silent for the rest of the challenge if not the rest of the day. Pulls her arms in for self soothing and just walks off. Not far, though, she just curls up behind the stage. I’d say she’d cry a bit but I think she just dissociates altogether :(. Bot still goes after Balloon on their own instead of teaming up with the floor/Taco but it's bc they'd feel bad about getting Taco's team out after that. Candle would go to help Taco once she’s released from jail. She was not supposed to be as involved in this au as she’s becoming whoops. But!!! She can tell that Taco isn’t with them at the moment, so she’d go and help ground her. Grab something frozen from the Pick-Nix table for her to hold, run through her 5 sentences, etc. Gah!!! Here we have some of what Taco needs!! Kindness and understanding to help her emotionally recover to a point in which she can start to better herself and AAAAAAA!!!! I love Taco so much. Okay that’s it for this episode onto the next one!!! I change up the disarranged teams because of some character interaction that I want. These teams are only for like 2 episodes anyways, so. 

Episode 7 (Best Served Cold): Okay! So for the two new teams- I am significantly less creative than the show. The Thinkers and Pinkers stay the same, just with Balloon added to the Thinkers and Nickel added to the Pinkers. Testy still gets Cabby voted out in this episode Taco isn’t present for the aura scene, she is continuing to avoid everyone, but please know that her aura is full of regret, stress, and suffering <3. Something like a deep navy blue or black sort of color, yeah? So kind of vaguely not very new teams make the mile high pies! I think Balloon and Taco could also start to connect in this ep! Well, at least Balloon tries. I mean, he doesn’t really know Yin-Yang, Candle, or Silver that well, and even Painty isn’t one of the fellow s1 contestants we see him interact with very often. And Balloon would see she's doing so very bad and try to help!!!! He’s been there before, yeah? Candle would probably mention she’s still rather upset after the sour cream incident from the last challenge at some point, and could tell Balloon where her little hideout is. And a Balloon and Taco friendship could actually contribute towards conflict between Balloon and Nickel if Nickel sees Balloon hanging out with someone else he distrusts even if (according to Brian!) he low-key respects Taco. But this isn’t about Nickloon!!! And that’s not to say that Taco is at all receptive to his attempts!!! She would probably just try to ignore him, and does the same thing with Candle. She is doing so very awful!!!!!!! Mental health is in the negatives here, people!!!!!!! Oh right uhh the pinkers lose because. Uh. Idk Nickel stacks two half mile high pies and Mephone deems that worse than flower instead of flour in the crust? It doesn’t really matter why they lose I think, this au is focused on Taco anyways, but Cabby is still voted out just like in canon. 

Episode 8 (Out of Body Experience): I am killing Nickel. That’s the only note I previously had prepared for this episode lmao. But yeah, Taco can’t die yet because she still doesn’t believe she can be revived :3, and I fully intend for her to suffer with that as long as I can make her. So I suppose Nickel and Paintbrush swap instead of The Floor and Paintbrush. Taco comes over after the bridge crushes everyone because the loud noise gets her attention. And everyone is dead. Yikers. Taco would be a bit meaner about Mephone accidentally killing and incorrectly reviving everyone, though. Like when he tells BP that “We’re all very close here”, Taco would immediately and firmly refute that. And she is not quite as freaked as Nickel when Bot talks about them never dying, because Taco fucking hates Bow after she made her lose the s1 finale. Taco does not give one shit. Also, Taco would warm up to Candle a bit more here!! Sort of. After she lies to BP about why they’re all acting different!! I mean, Taco wouldn’t like Mephone getting out of trouble, but seeing Candle lie would make her more… down to Earth? To Taco, I suppose. Not enough to make significant progress, but Taco wouldn’t hate her as much. Might actually have a good think about her advice, yeah? Nickel would still be the one to realize that Clover’s luck had caused the incident, and she would still be voted out. 

Episode 9 (Title TBD): Last episode before the merge!!! Almost time for things to start ramping up!!^^ Taco would point out in front of everyone that Mephone was fudging the review score, because she’s a little hater <3. With the Thinkers, roles would change a bit!! Taco, who is known for adamantly not participating in challenges, would be made the director. Painty, with Bot on the other team, would be the artist. Yin-Yang still produces chaos every day, so they’re producer, Silver makes sure he gets to write, so Balloon is craft services. Candle is here too!! I’m kidding. She’d be co-artists with Painty, but end up helping out Yin-Yang like in canon. I think Yin might ask her for help here though, since Taco would be adamantly not participating, and thus wouldn’t really care if Yin-Yang wasn’t getting money. Candle would also have another little talk with Taco, pushing her a bit more towards new connections! There are people who will give her a chance, she doesn’t have to be alone, she just needs to open herself up to those connections. Things can get better for her!!! Taco acts quite unreceptive, even if what Candle said is making her feel emotions she usually pushes deep down. A certain salmon contestant also overhears what Candle says… I wonder if that will be super important for the rest of the au, yeah? Goo still writes his appreciation, uh, soliloquy for Bot, and between that and the fact that the Pinkers are currently a team of four versus the Thinkers 6, they lose again. Goo is voted out, unfortunately for me, because I love him. He really is the happiest little guy of all time! 

Episode 10 (I Am Chocolate!): Well, the participating cast members don’t get all that much screen time in this ep, yeah? Cabby still rejoins, good for her, and Test Tube is still eliminated, bad for her. Taco isn’t with everyone, so she doesn’t join in the tasty treat tasting time at the pick-nix table. However!!! Balloon does generate a few tea biscuits, and brings them to Taco’s hideout!!!!!!!!!!! It’s finally time for Tacloon friendship to begin!!!!! Yeah yeah yeah!!!!! He brings her the plate of biscuits because they’ve all seen her drinking tea, and?? Offers her connection!!!!! He’s been where she is right now, he gets how hopeless it can feel, but someone very important reached out to him, and if she’s willing, he wants to do the same for her!!!! He believes she can change and be better and happier!!!!!^^ Taco is more or less speechless, but does give a little thank you as he’s leaving. 

Episode 11 (Pesty Besties): Even if he was designed based on The Floor, I think he still works really well as Taco’s Inani-mate!!! I mean his whole thing is being against the competition and trying to get his fellow inani-mates to quit and well... that lines up pretty perfectly with Taco. She wouldn’t be forcing him to fight, but he would do it in a last ditch attempt to get his fellow Inani-mates to stop the madness!!!! They didn’t do any training though, they just chatted for a while. Oh but btw Taco would not name him Tootsy Wootsy. I have a name in mind though!!! "So... do you have a name?" "I am a cosmic being, beyond your comprehension." "..." "...Cosmo for short." Uh yeah he still dies. Taco loses him to the game just like she has lost everyone she cares about because of it :). Her shell cracks some more :). Balloon gives her a few pats on the shell though, to try and help, so that’s nice!!!!!!!!!!!! Silver is gonna get eliminated instead of Taco/The Floor anyways so I have some shuffling to do!!!! Okay so The Floor gets out when Silver and Candle switch alliances, so I guess in this uh. So Candle doesn't confront Silver about switching, instead reports that he's doing so to the rest of the Thinkers alliance, the vote ends up in a tie since Taco always votes for herself (despite getting immunity every time) and Candle beats Silver in the tie breaker. That's what I'm thinking!!! I’m sorry Silvercandle fans. 

Episode 12 (Not Home is Where the Heart is Nope Actually): Tacloon bond more in this ep with the new challenge!!!! Getting rid of The Floor can’t exactly be the challenge when he’s been an assistant the entire time, yeah? The new challenge… the.. new…challenge… uh… Toboggan races? Sure. That’s the first thing I thought of but I guess it works okay. Contestants split into pairs and must build a toboggan to race across the track that Mephone made. Fastest time wins! Yeah!! They can have their talk in this ep while they’re building their toboggan!!!! Balloon is going to be having a heartfelt talk about changing and becoming better and Taco is going to lash out at him. But Balloon is still going to help her!!!^^ He's talking about changing and Taco gets upset because he was never actually a mean person. More shell cracking here!! He was pretending and she's actually just awful. His actual first thoughts aren’t to be violent or try to manipulate others like hers are!!! He hasn’t ruined every single relationship he has!!!! He can apologize better than sending letter and useless letter that all get burnt anyways!!! Her whole slate has fallen apart and all that!!! She sees it as Balloon not having really been a mean person, he was acting, so he could change, but she really is a mean person so it's not possible for her!!! Well that's what SHE thinks. She believes herself to be incapable of starting over in more ways than one, people!!!! And he could be the Mepad (rip my prince) in this situation. You're no menace Taco etc etc. And!!! They connect!!!!! Relationship formed!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!^^ Anyways I want to keep the elimination order as close as possible so it still has to be Painty that gets voted out, but bot wouldn't vote for them, so I guess Taco will finally have to actually vote for someone!! Maybe since by this point Balloon and her have a bit of a friendship going, even with how hesitant she is, when he asks her to vote Painty she does, yeah? Since she and Balloon are buddies now, Taco would get (re)introduced to the Looney Balloonies!! Nickel is… himself, but he is so close to starting to change and also wants more numbers so keeps his yap mostly shut, and Bot is friendly!!! <3 To be clear though, Taco is not part of the alliance!! She still wants to be eliminated asap, since Mephone won’t let her quit, and by now she has had enough of alliances, yeah? Even if problems with her previous ones were primarily on her. OH BTW IMMUNITY VOTE STICKS AROUND IN THIS AU. Taco would be trying to get everyone to vote her out still if she wasn’t invincible every dang time so. Mephone doesn’t want the game to be predictable? Why would he let the contestant that he literally made to be unpredictable leave?

Episode 13 (Friend or Froze): Anniversary episode!!! Silver isn’t here, so Candle is scheming with Yin-Yang. With Taco hanging out with the looney balloonies, the new old thinkers are worrying about their numbers disadvantage!! They’d be scheming to try and get lucky lil Nickel on their side, with the help of Cabby who offers her file willingly to her alliance members. Taco would also be annoyed that the cliff jump was back lol. So Taco crosses to the pipe along with the looney balloonies and makes it to the iceberg!!! Candle has to be there, and I’d say Yin-Yang makes it too, this time!! So does Cabby, actually, but wheels + ice = slippy, so she slides off right away. Poor Cabby. Candle and Yin-Yang get Bot and Balloon out as they do in canon, and Taco doesn’t even want immunity so she just walks off. They manipulate Nickel, Nickel is still angry about his luck and gets crushed to death by Floory because of it! But!!! Balloon isn’t made to give away his immunity in this episode, since there’s no milk drama, so the looney balloonies don’t fall apart quite yet!!! …quite yet. Taco does notice Balloon seems upset after the challenge though, and trying to be a good friend, I think she’d ask him about it!!! In her own awkward way, but regardless!! He talks about it a bit, yeah? He would be really upset about what Nickel said, even without the cookie thing tipping him over the edge. As per canon, Candle is eliminated in this episode. Not a big Taco episode, but she’s so miserable in the next one she’d definitely need this reprieve. 

Episode 14 (Spring on the Breakfast): TACO MISERY EPISODE WOOOOOO!!!!!! I LOVE IT WHEN MY BLORBOS ARE MISERABLE!!! She’s paired with Yin-Yang in this episode, both having been on the Thinkers, so the other pairs are the same. Nickel and Balloon start their little divorce here rather than in the last ep. Suitcase wouldn’t have wanted Balloon pushing it aside when Nickel hurts him, yeah? Anyways. Unfortunately for me and @galacticrain they do not have a fun time together. Yang still gets them attacked by a bear. Taco having the worst time in the s1 loser room. Oh my god. Memories and regrets are flooding back!!! Yang has her do the room since she would know the elimination order, and she does, but she stops when she gets to Pickle and just… stares. Reflects. Misses. Regrets. Hurts. Cracks. For quite a while, until Yang gets tired of waiting and presses it himself, making it disappear. He finishes the room, and heads through the opened doorway. And now that there’s nothing left there, Taco leaves too, after another moment. I'm not 100% sure what to do with the fake person because it's supposed to be someone who means a lot to both the competitors and I don't think Yin Yang and Taco have a person like that that they share. Candle interacted with both of them, but she herself never really connected with Taco. And she never betrayed Yin Yang, so Yang would just be happy to see her. So. Uh. Well this AU is about TACO!!!!! So I’m putting Mic there :) Taco’s shell cracks once more upon seeing Mic. She'd probably back away from said Mic and fall down the pit trap thingy. So yeah. Misery for Taco!!!!!!!! B). She is very quiet and sad after this challenge!! And Nickloon just had their fight, so she and Balloon get to be sad, together!!! How lovely. Anyways!! Elimination time- and I’m changing things up!! Instead of Bot being eliminated in this ep, it’s Yin-Yang. With Taco added, the tiebreaker doesn’t happen, so. They don’t have the immunity vote nor milk, so there’s nothing to save them here, unfortunate as it is for them to be out. But!!! They’re still doing well without Candle’s betrayal upsetting their balance, so that’s a personal victory for them at least. 

Episode 15 (Blue Buried): GOOCO PROPAGANDA MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! THEY WILL BE FRIENDS IT IS INEVITABLE!!! So. You know how Taco was made to be manipulative. Taco is the manipulation queen, for better or for worse, yeah? She can absolutely tell that Blueberry is faking it. She doesn’t care enough to call him out on it when he first starts playing dead, but she’d call him out on it in the end when no one else gets it. She’s paired with Goo, so he gets to rejoin!! Yay!!! Their investigation is like that one spiderman meme in which the older spiderman is thinking and the younger spiderman is watching him think. I do not know much about Spiderman. Goo is very thankful that Taco figured it out and he could rejoin thanks to her!! Hooray!!!!!!^^ Taco gets the immunity cookie, which she does not want, and she offers it to Balloon!! But Balloon is pretty safe anyways, yeah? So he hints that maybe Taco could use the cookie to make some new connections, just like he was able to with Suitcase. Someone so friendly is a great place to start!! So she, awkwardly, since it’s Taco trying to socialize normally, gives him the immunity cookie!! And it’s Goo, so he’s happy and thankful and baby!!! And considers Taco a new friend!!!! Yippee!!!!!!! Sorry guys, I really love Goo. But this is my au so I’m not sorry actually. If you want a taco-in-iii au in which she isn’t friends with goo then make your own. Anyways, yeah, Goo rejoins, but Bot is eliminated in this episode. Same reasoning as Yin-Yang is eliminated in canon, they would destroy everyone else in the jury vote. 

Episode 16 (The Great Bluish Bake Off): This episode is quite different, yeah? No Blueberry to… drive the plot. Ah. Well, okay, the challenge is the same, travel through the dessert desert to the dessert island, bake something, Mephone’ll rate it, highest score wins! Taco would think of the hot air balloon idea, because she’s my smart lil’ cookie, and would even bring Goo and Balloon with her!! She’d initially want to just bring them, but Goo would want to invite everyone!!! And they’re buddies, so Taco lets Cabby and even Nickel in too. So they get to the desert much faster!! And they still have their ingredients, so they can actually bake!!! Except they actually need their ovens this time. Which are going to take a while to turn on. So they have some time to chill!! And Talk!!!! Mostly Talk. Nickloon are talking through their issues!!! Nickel gives his apology!!! They make up!! And Taco overhears it and thinks about apologizing to the people she’s wronged!!!  And how Nickle mentions that Balloon doesn’t have to forgive him but he still wanted to apologize regardless!!! Yay!!!!! And she and Goo get to chat for a while!! Even Cabby can join in! Speaking of Cabby, she wins immunity!! She had Mephone’s favorite cookie recipe on file, so it was pretty easy for her :]. As for the eliminated contestant? I’m killing Nickel again. Not literally, but he does get eliminated. Cabby is out of contention for voting, and Taco, much to her chagrin, still has her voted immunity. So it’s between Goo, Nickel, and Balloon. Taco, Nickel, and Balloon wouldn’t vote for Balloon, and Goo, Cabby, and Taco wouldn’t vote for Goo. That just leaves Nickel. Only Balloon and himself would be unwilling to vote for him. So in a 3-2 vote, Nickel is eliminated. But it’s okay, because he made up with his buddy and they still hug <3. 

Episode 17 (The Show Must Go On): Last episode before the finale!! Goo would love this challenge actually he gets to pitch all of his silly little ideas!!!!^^ And then he would hate it with all the burnout and all the ai “art” undertones, yeah? But uh yeah silly pitch episode my beloved, Goo makes it extra silly as he does. They still walk out at Cabby’s prompting, but since Silver isn’t here to… Silver all over the place, everyone walks out, so Mephone feels even worse about the automated episode thing! I don’t actually have too much to say about this episode, not a lot changes, it’s still a fun and silly episode full of fun and silly fake scenarios. Goo is voted out by Cabby and Balloon, unfortunately. He is another that would do quite well in the jury vote, I think. He is just too charming and cute for realsies. Taco wouldn’t take this well!! But not in the way you might think!! She isn’t angry with Balloon and Cabby, she’s angry at the game!! I mean, she has been the entire time, but Goo leaving sparks her flame up!!!! It’s not Cabby and Balloon’s fault that Goo had to leave, it’s the game!!! That she, and everyone for that matter, is forced to compete in over and over again!!! And she’s still tired of it!! She’s tired of all the grief the game causes!!! Losing friends, arguments that could be solved with just a talk if it wasn’t for the game making everything difficult, dealing with Mephone offloading his problems onto them, and refusing to let her leave!! She is pissed at him going into the finale fr. Her shell cracks more here!!!! She is so breaking literally and metaphorically I’m serious.

Episode 18 (A Jury of Your Fears): FINALE TIME!!!! They discuss season 1’s finale right at the beginning of the finale… yikers!! Taco was already having a bad day, and it just got worse. You see that that’s a theme of this finale. Taco feeling worse. Her opening statement is something simple. She does not want to be here. Do not vote for her. She is a tad grumpy, understandably so, even before her full speech. Augh and her final 3 speech is similar to her speech in Truth or Flare but like. Even more upset. Because with her getting to the finale in both s1 and s3 and having been watching for all of season 2? She's seen everything the game has done!!! Is one of the contestants who has suffered the most!!! OUCH she's carrying it all the whole time!! I mean, she’s talked to Balloon about the Pickle stuff somewhat, but he doesn’t know about Mic beyond Taco mentioning that she was meddling in season 2 And her having been homeless for years!!!! Because no one there besides Balloon knows she was watching season 2 so when she starts talking about it they're like "You were still around?? If you hate the game so much, why didn't you just leave??" And there are very much themes of her feeling trapped in the game, in her past, in her guilt, in her solitude, etc etc and with her being literally trapped in s3!!!!!! All she has wanted was to leave this entire time she just?? "It's an island! Where did you expect me to go?!" Or something!!! She has never been able to leave. Her entire life has been the game and she has lost everything because of it. She’d also bring up how they still don’t even know what this season’s prize is!!! They’re all competing and for what?? They don’t even know!!! No one unexpected needs to come. She's been cracking the entire season and finally breaks here. She is having the worst time!! Uh, oh, by the way, Candle doesn’t get upset about what Silver does with the flame here, because he doesn’t do anything, so she heads into the cage with everyone else. So no epic fight scene here. Womp womp for Candle. So yeah uh Mephone also doesn’t recover Taco. He is so very in his issues about the show ending, and just like in Truth or Flare, he isn’t eager to recover someone who just monologued about how the game sucks and how it should be ended forever, yeah? So she stays dead for a bit. Doesn’t find out about the lack of prize when Balloon and Cabby do. And then the Unvitationals jump in!! They may want the game to continue forever, but they also hate Mephone, yeah, so they recover Taco when they get control over Mephone!!! She’s not cracked anymore, having been recovered, but she’s still pretty pissed and agrees with quite a few of the Unvitationals’ points. Other than wanting the show to go on forever. She would rather it died a violent fiery death actually <3. Remember like two sentences ago when I said she’d be pretty pissed? Well she would be UNBELIEVABLY PISSED when she finds out about the plans for a fourth season. That included her. Honestly Taco would high-key want him melted. But again, she’s a smart cookie, she knows that would mean no more recovery system and she is buddies with Balloon now. Even if she would want Mephone to be dead in her heart, she wouldn’t want it in her brain, yeah? But that all brings us into the last episode of the season!!!

Episode 19 (You Can’t Do This Forever): So Taco is pretty unhappy. I don’t think she’d be big in on the Mephone’s defense. She’s angry at him, she does not have anything nice to say, so she will say nothing. She could be convinced to help by Cabby and Balloon to save everyone I think!!! Not for Mephone’s sake, but because it’s the right thing to do!!! Yeah, I don’t believe that either lol. She does it because Balloon asks her to help, and because he is at most risk of dying forever without a recovery system, especially with Walkie having just tried to kill him. She’s not losing another friend because of this stupid game. Votes are the same, not-melt still wins out, Walkie takes matters into her own lack-of-hands, lava time. So she’d go with Cabby and Balloon to the volcano!!! Unlike Silver, Taco doesn’t have an inner flame power to pretend to use to threaten Walkie-Talkie. But you know what she does have? HER GAY-ASS PINK LASER GUN THAT SHE LOOTED FROM HER OWN CORPSE!!!! Screw the inner flame, she just straight up holds Walkie at gunpoint. That’s my queen <3. Annual finale 4S appearance, Springy is revived, they go on with the voting as was the plan!! But before that? Mephone finally lets Taco quit. He offers the option if she still wants it, with an apology, and she takes it. She isn't interested in any prize, she’s only wanted to be out of the game, and Mephone finally lets her. 3rd place for Taco <3!!!! She joins as the final member of the jury. And in a close 7-9 vote, Cabby wins III!!! Good for her. Taco chills out in the library with everyone <3. She does return to Inanimate Island with the others though!! To apologize to Mic and Pickle, and also to retrieve Mepad from the forest. Oops. She’d apologize to him too. 

THE END!!! THANKS FOR READING THIS TOOK ME LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BUT I STILL HAD FUN!!! <3 <3 HOPE Y’ALL ENJOYED MY RAMBLES!!!!! :D

[patito-oward]

No I in Team

masterlist

WC: 11.7k

Summary: You’ve just started a new job as a social media manager at Arrow McLaren, and get off onto the wrong foot with your insanely attractive new coworker.

Tags: angst, fluff, smut, 18+

February

This is what you’ve been working for since you were 13. Your first trip to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway was love at first sight. Since then, you’ve revolved your life around racing and getting to every race possible.

You studied marketing and public relations in high school and have now gotten your dream job working as the social media manager at Arrow McLaren.

You’re starting your first day by joining a full team meeting at the team’s headquarters. Except walking around the large building, you can’t seem to find the intended conference room. You’re looking down at your phone, trying to decipher the directions in your email, when you collide with a solid body.

Before you even look up, an apology is spilling out of your mouth. "Oh my god, I am so sorry-" You cut yourself off when you realize who you’ve just bumped into.

"Just watch where you’re going."

"I’m so, so sorry, it’s just my first day and I have no idea where I’m going, the email I got said conference room on the second floor, but this place is huge and I’m all turned around." You only stop to breathe, realizing you’ve run into not only an indycar legend but a now-coworker, Pato O’ward, and have completely embarrassed yourself.

"I’m headed there; follow me." He was very straight to the point, but you nodded and thanked him.

When you walked into the conference room, you found a few faces of people you recognized from interviews and more you recognized from watching the sport. The meeting began, and plans for the new season were being discussed. You were introduced to the group, but mainly to Pato, Alex, and Felix as the new head of the team’s social media.

Everyone was very welcoming, making jokes with you and telling you not to believe Rossi when he acts annoyed whenever you make him do anything. Overall, you had a really great morning.

After the full team meeting, you were set to have a meeting with just the drivers, owners, and a PR team. You had a 30-minute break between the meetings where you overheard a conversation between Pato and Felix.

"Y/N seems cool." Felix's saying your name caught your attention. "It’ll be nice to have someone young running the social media make sure it stays relevant."

"I guess, yeah." Pato seemed unsure and dismissive.

"You’re not sure?"

"She already seems like a walking disaster. This morning she was staring at her phone and ran straight into me, and then she told me she couldn’t find the conference room, and it was right there. And she talks so much." He puts emphasis on the so much, and you take a little offense; you were just trying to be nice. Felix doubles over laughing. "What is so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, mate," He can barely get his words out because he’s laughing so hard. "you just described yourself, that’s all."

"Oh, come on! I am not that bad!"

You’re glad Felix is defending you and seems to like you, but still, you wish Pato felt the same. It’ll make this job really awkward if he’s never cooperative with what you need to do.

Your second meeting of the day goes okay. The team wants you to share a little of what you have planned for the socials and discuss how these things are usually done. Everyone on the team seems really receptive to your ideas, and you’ve seemed to charm the room. You’re joking with the team owners about making the drivers do trends, and Felix and Alex are laughing along with you. Pato doesn’t talk much unless spoken to, and you just wish this day had started out better.

After your meeting, you were free to leave for the day. As you’re walking towards the elevator, Felix calls out to you. When you turn to face him, he begins to speak. "I’m sorry about Pato; I don’t know what’s up with him, but he’s definitely acting off today. Just give him time and he’ll warm up to you; you’re doing a great job already." You smile at him and thank him genuinely.

You really hope he’s right and Pato’s just having an off day. You start working with the team immediately, so whatever has him upset, he’s hopefully over by the morning.

March

Unfortunately, that is not the case; a whole month has gone by, and Pato still hasn’t warmed up to you. He’s in no way rude; he’ll do whatever you ask him to, and he’s always polite, but he’s never been personable with you.

You watch him during interviews and photo shoots, and he makes everyone in the room laugh. He’s kind to everyone, introduces himself to everyone in the room, and immediately becomes the center of it. You can see that he’s an entertainer at heart, and you wish he’d be like that with you. Even in more personal and private settings, he’s still very outgoing.

He’s so loud talking to Fro and Alex that you can often hear him through walls. He has a great relationship with his pit crew; he is so personable with them whenever he’s around them and will ask them about their wives and kids. If you’re ever in a room alone, it’s always very silent, and he answers you in the shortest way possible. Mostly, he’ll make up an excuse to leave the room or call someone in.

All of this keeps making you wonder where you’re going wrong. Rossi and Felix both seem to really like you; you’ve started getting along really well with both of their partners, and occasionally they will invite you to drinks after a day at work. They even tried to talk you into watching the Firestone GP with them in Rossi’s motorhome despite your having to work.

You’ve become friends with most of the team, and you’ve become really great friends with an engineer on the team, she’s been teaching you a lot about the makeup of the car during your downtimes. This job was so perfect, you just wish you knew why a certain driver seemed to have it out for you.

The Firestone GP that kicks off the season was a small letdown for the team. Rosenqvist had the best finishing position in 8th place, Rossi in 10th, and Pato in 13th. The team has been working so hard and really thought that they’d start the season off much better than this.

April

The team has been working a month straight at improving speed for Texas, and they’ve found some. During Friday practice, Rossi and Rosenqvist showed a lot of speed and were 3rd and 5th, but O’ward was still 9th, leaving the team to wonder where they were going wrong with him.

While walking by his garage, you notice a few engineers, including your new friend, and Pato watching his in-car footage from practice. As you watch, you notice what’s going on. You watch for another lap to make sure. "You’re going into the turns too fast, breaking heavy late, and by the time you’ve regained control of the car, you’ve ended up losing time." It feels like every eye in the speedway turns to you in that moment, like you could hear a pin drop in the garage.

Before anyone says anything, they simply rewind the tape and watch a lap. You watch everyone watch the screen as he goes into a turn, starts losing the car, then breaks heavy while getting it back under control. It happens three more times, and a mechanic speaks. "Holy shit, she’s right."

Pato takes the car back out, and in the few laps he’s able to do, his speed has skyrocketed. The speed he has now would have him at P1.

When he gets back into his pit, he’s celebrating with the team all around, and then he approaches you. "Thank you so much! You’ve saved my ass for this race."

"It’s no problem, really.”

Pato qualified for P3 the next day and finished the race 2nd. It's been a way better weekend for the team, and everyone is buzzing with energy.

After the race, Alex and Fro ask you to join them for celebratory drinks at a bar near the speedway. You join them and their partners, as well as Pato, and you all have a great time. You even got some content for Instagram and TikTok.

Everyone’s feeling pretty good and has a decent amount of liquor in their systems when Pato approaches you. "I owe you an apology."

You really were confused by this. "What?"

"Over the way I’ve been acting, I don’t even know why; I think I was just having a bad day and then got too stubborn to admit that I was wrong."

"Oh, it’s okay, water under the bridge." You try to wave it off, as this conversation feels very awkward.

No, I’ve been a total jerk for no real reason, and you haven’t deserved it, so I really am sorry. Can I please just have another chance at introducing myself?"

"You never introduced yourself in the first place."

He looks sheepish. "Another thing I’m sorry for." Holding out his right hand, he says, "Hi, I’m Pato. I’m glad you’re joining the team. I’m sure you’ll make a great addition."

"Hi, Pato, I’m YN; it’s so nice to finally meet you." When you shake his hand, you can see him soften a bit and his demeanor change, and you really hope that everything from the last two months really is water under the bridge in the morning.

You had a week and a half break after that, where you were only required to make a few posts and had one meeting. When you returned to work at Long Beach, Pato brought you coffee. You were shocked, but glad that fences really were mended.

April also held the first practice for the 500, which showed great promise for the team.

May

You and Pato have turned into fast friends. It turns out the two of you really are a lot alike. As you’ve entered the most important month for the sport, you cannot be more glad that things have been smoothed over.

Now that you’re close with all three of the boys, you’re often drugged into content whenever you’re filming it. The boys will often start arguing and look to you to settle it, or when you make them do a challenge, you have to clarify the winner.

Pato will even ask you to follow certain trends he’s seen floating around, and whenever you reveal that in a caption, his fans go crazy.

You don’t just begin to get closer professionally, though; when Pato finds out you’re a fan of the Marvel movies, he gets very excited to have someone on the team to watch them with. During the first week of May, he invited you to come watch Iron Man with him after a day of work, and you accepted.

When you first walked into his motorhome, it was definitely a little awkward; you didn’t really know where to sit or what to do with yourself. He quickly eased the tension, though. "Sit on the seat with the blue blanket; I dug it out in case you’d want it. I always keep it cold in here because I like to snuggle under a blankie."

You laughed at him. "Blankie? Are you five?"

"No! I’m just a sensitive guy who likes to be warm."

"Thank you for getting a blankie out for me too."

"Do you want anything to drink? I have water, electrolit, topo chico.."

"You realize we’re in private; you don’t have to endorse your sponsors to me."

He gives you a dirty look from the fridge and says, "You are so funny. I’ll have you know that I just don’t keep the fridge very stocked, and my sponsors provided all this."

"I’ll take a topo chico, please." You give him a sickly sweet smile from your place curled up on the loveseat, and he brings one for you and one for himself. You place both in the cup holders between you. "Thank you, sir."

"Don’t call me that, it's weird. I’m going to order food, did you eat or should I order you something too?"

"You don’t have to order me something; I’ll order myself food."

"Don’t be silly; I invited you; I’ll pay for takeout." He opens Grub Hub and starts scrolling through options. "You know what the worst part about frequent travel is?" You hum out a response. "I never know what food is good. I have no clue where to order from."

Oh, I know. My family and I used to always get food from this Chinese place on race weekend. Here it is." You pulled up the place on your phone, and you had to call to place the delivery order.

Once the order was placed, you both settled into your spots on the sofa and started the movie. Before long, the food has arrived, and you’re both digging in as the movie plays. "This is the best Chinese I’ve ever had. You definitely saved the day!"

"I don’t know about the whole day; maybe just dinner. Besides, I definitely didn’t save your wallet." You looked at all the takeout boxes on the counter. "I think we ordered enough for a small army."

"Yeah, but it’s so good." He punctuates his sentence with a groan and an eye roll that make your stomach flutter for just a moment; you’re not blind after all.

You’ve always found Pato attractive, even before you started working here, but now that you have the job, you know it's important to keep those feelings at bay. Not only that, but he made it easy to do so when he was constantly icing you out. Reminding yourself of those facts, you redirect your attention to the TV in front of you.

That was the first of many movie nights with Pato. You were at the paddock basically every day, and he claimed he got lonely being alone in his trailer every night, so he kept inviting you back.

For a tik tok, you had Pato and Felix make a list of red flags about each other, in which they both mentioned each other's taste in movies. Of course, the two started to argue about it, and Pato turned to you. "YN thinks my taste in movies is great; we always do movie nights together."

"Mate, I can’t believe you’ve been exposing her to that." He pauses, then says, "Wait, how often do you do movie nights? And why am I never invited?"

"Because your taste in movies sucks."

They move onto the next topic, and you cut that part out of the video, really not wanting too many people to see it, but it does get you wondering why he never invites Felix over instead of or even with you.

Two nights later, at your next movie night, you bring it up. "Patito?"

He groans. "What?"

"Why don’t you ever invite Felix over for movie night?" He looks at you quizzically. "I mean, he’s like your best friend, right? So why don’t you ever have him over instead of me?"

"Felix likes to be doing something. He wants to play a game or go out, which is great and all, but after work sometimes I just like to relax and watch a movie but don’t necessarily want to be alone."

"So you picked me because I’m boring."

He laughs. "Not boring, just easy." You squeal at him and smack him in the chest, but he grabs your arm and pulls you onto him from across the sofa. "Come on, you know I’m just playing."

You’re facing him, and your upper body is in his lap as you look up at him. All of a sudden, you feel way too close to him, and like you’re crossing into dangerous territory. You sit up and pull back into your seat. "Yeah, I know. Let’s start the movie."

"You’re right, I don’t want to be up too late with quals tomorrow."

"It’s May; you always have something tomorrow."

Qualifying for the Indy GP goes really well, and Pato gets pole. The team getting pole was a huge accomplishment, so a bunch of people went out for drinks at a bar 10 minutes from the speedway. You’re out for a few hours, and around 11, everyone decides to disperse, and you begin to call for an Uber to your place, which is 30 minutes away. While standing outside and both of you ordering ubers, you complain to Pato about how late it’ll be when you finally get home.

"Just come stay at mine; you have to be back in Speedway at 6 anyway."

"Are you sure it’s not a problem? I can just Uber back."

"Stop being silly. You’re my friend, you’re never a problem."

You both climb into an Uber and ride the 10 minutes back to the speedway. You have the Uber drop you off at the entrance and walk to the driver lot from there. It’s a gorgeous night, and no one’s out right now.

Pato turns to you, "Let’s go walk the track." You laugh at him, not thinking he was serious. "No, come on, it’ll be fun."

"You’re crazy; we’ll get in trouble."

"Oh, come on, live a little, baby."

The name rolls off his lips, and you’re convinced you may do anything he asks. You’re being pulled by him towards the gasoline alley and pit lane, where you could climb onto the track.

He begins shouting when you get on the track. Calling out just to hear his echo. You pull him to you and put your hand over his mouth. Hush, you’re going to get us caught." You’re laughing as you say it because he’s fighting against your hand.

When you take your hand off his mouth, he looks around the track. "In 3 weeks, every one of these seats will be filled."

"I know, it’s crazy to think about."

"It’s like 300,000 eyes on you, watching every move you make; it’s nerve-wracking but also so thrilling."

He’s still looking out at the bleachers; you’re standing on the bricks in front of the padoga. "We could kiss the bricks?"

He looks down at his feet, dragging his shoe across the bricks. "Nah, I want to save it until I win."

Well, I don’t think you’ll have to wait long."

It’s silent for a moment, and you wonder if you’ve said the wrong thing. "We should probably head back. I have a GP to win before I can win the 500."

You burst out laughing at him. "You’re so cocky."

"Confident." He corrects you with a raised eyebrow. He grabs your wrist, then interlocks your hands. "Let’s go."

On the walk back, you’re leaning into his side with your head on his shoulder and never letting go of his hand. When you arrive back at the motorhome, you’re exhausted. You head into the bathroom to wash your face, and Pato calls out to you, "There’s a spare toothbrush under the sink; I’ll get out some clothes for you."

When you exit the bathroom, there’s a pair of Pato’s merch pajamas sitting on his bed for you. "We can either share the bed or I can pull out the couch, but Elba says the couch is uncomfortable, so it’s up to you."

The thought of being that close to him all night makes your heart skip a beat. "Are you sure you’re okay sharing the bed?"

"We’re adults." He shrugs like it’s obvious. "As long as you’re not a blanket hog, we’ll be just fine."

After you change into pajamas, you get into the side of the bed that doesn’t have his things on the nightstand. As you climb under the layers of blankets, warmth and his smell engulf you. It’s different from how he smells day to day; it’s like what he usually smells like minus the sweat and gasoline. It makes you feel incredibly close to and surrounded by him. Sleep quickly begins to overtake you; you’re vaguely aware of him climbing into bed next to you, but you're fast asleep within 5 minutes.

The next morning, you woke up with a minor headache, and as you woke, you noticed that you were clinging to the man next to you. You’re half lying on top of him and have your arm across his chest and your face on his pec. Despite how comfortable you were, you knew it would be bad if he woke up and found you hanging all over him. You reluctantly and carefully pulled away from him and climbed out of bed. When you climbed out of bed, he rolled over and started searching for something in the bed. Rocky jumped up into the spot you’d just vacated and cuddled up with Pato, which seemed to settle him back into sleep. You quietly got ready for your day at work, stealing an Electrolit to hopefully ward off your headache.

As you searched the fridge for something edible, Pato emerged from the bedroom. His shorts hung low on his hips, and he’s shirtless; even with his bedhead, he looks absolutely delicious. "Goodmorning, sunshine."

He groans and stretches. "Morning, did you sleep good?"

"Yeah, I was exhausted, and that bed is stupidly comfortable.

"We still have an hour until we have to be at work; do you want to get breakfast?"

"I love the way you think."

"Give me five to get ready, and we’ll head out."

You end up taking his McLaren to a small diner. There’s a mural of IMS on one of the walls of the diner and a checkered flag in the window. "I still can’t believe this whole town celebrates like this for a whole month." Pato is looking out the window at the stores, all with flags adorning them.

"This is how I grew up. My dad and I looked forward all year for this month. I could never sleep the night before the 500; I was always too hyped up, like a kid on Christmas. I love this sport."

You quickly finish eating, then head to the track. Today’s the day of the Indianapolis Grand Prix, where Pato will be starting on pole, and you both have work to do before the race starts.

You don’t see him much after you get back to the track; you’re both being pulled in twenty different directions, but you’re able to get a photo of him climbing into the car for the Instagram story and wish him luck then.

The race starts well; he’s able to get through the first lap scrape-free, which cannot be said for all of the field. Around lap 60, he gets hit from behind and spins out; by the time the AMR team gets him going again, he’s in 21st place. The team is ecstatic with the finish of the race, with Rossi winning it, but for Pato, the race went awful. He had really high hopes for the race but ended up in P17.

The team has obligatory celebrations, and you have to capture some content of Rossi for the social media accounts. After all the celebrations are done, you go on a search to find Pato. You find him in his pit box reviewing race footage.

You lightly place your hand on his shoulder, "Hey,"

"Oh, hi."

"Tough race."

He lets out a dry laugh. "Yeah, no kidding."

"Are you ok?"

"Just frustrated."

"We’ve been invited to drink to celebrate Rossi’s win; wanna go?"

"No, I’ll just bring the mood down. You should go, though."

"There are plenty of chances to go drinking with them; do you want to just do a movie night? We can watch a sad movie, so you can’t bring the mood down."

He laughs, which was your intended reaction. "Yeah, you always cheer me up."

You go up on your tippy toes and wrap him in a hug, "You ran a great race today." As you pull away, Kevin Lee is hanging nearby to get a word with Pato. "I’ll see you tonight."

You have lots of work to do, and it’s a job in itself just to be able to grab Alex and take up his time. It’s hours later when you’re finally done for the day and able to escape to Pato’s trailer. He’s already in there and changed into sweats; when he opens the door for you, he looks mopey.

You’ve run to Walmart and bought fresh clothes—a pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt—that you’ve now changed into.

You’ve been in his trailer so many times now that it’s anything but awkward. You look around at the place; the TV is still off, but there’s an almost empty glass and a bottle of tequila on the counter. Rocky and Norbi are calm in a way they wouldn’t be if he hadn’t taken them out, so at least you know that’s been done. You don’t really know how to comfort him; today was a big loss, and going into the 500, you know it hurts.

"You came to watch a movie, right?”

"I came because you’re my friend, and I know you’re upset. So whatever you want to do,"

He slumps down on the couch in front of you. "I’m so disappointed. I failed myself and the team. I had this race in the bag to win, but I fucked it all up."

You sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You did everything you could to make this a great race. You couldn’t help that you got hit. All you can do now is focus forward on the 500."

He leans back, "I know. You’re right." He pulls you back, and you’re now both reclining on the sofa with heads turned towards each other, only a few inches apart. "You’re my best friend, you know."

You smile at him. "Yeah, you’re mine too."

The two of you are pressed together from your shoulders to your knees. You grab the blanket that’s on the couch next to you and cover both of you with it. You turn on the TV to a show you’ve seen a million times and let the soft noise of it drift the two of you to sleep.

You wake up at 2:00 AM and can barely move from the position you’ve been sleeping in. You gently wake Pato and convince him to move to the bed. When you both climb under the covers, he grabs you and pulls you into him, placing a kiss on the side of your head. He’s clearly barely awake, but you can’t fall asleep.

Your body is buzzing with the feeling of his against yours and his breath on your neck. You feel like a horrible person because he got so vulnerable with you and is clearly just seeking comfort in you after a bad day, and you’re obsessing over it like a schoolgirl. Still, you can’t help the feeling that’s coursing through your body, like you’d be content to stay this way forever.

When you wake up, it’s like nothing has changed between the two of you. Pato feels better and is back to his normal and cheerful self, and your relationship stays what it always was, friends. It’s not that you ever expected anything to change, but for that night, you allowed yourself to hope it would.

A week of lots of work, three movie nights, and one sleepover goes by, and then it’s Saturday and time for qualifying. The team does incredible, all four cars make it into the fast 12. Sunday holds so much anticipation for the team. You’re slammed with making posts to celebrate yesterday’s results along with today’s. Not to mention, every time one of the drivers went out, you stopped everything to watch their run.

After the first run, Pato and Fro advance to the fast 6, and you watch to see who gets bumped. Knowing the drivers has brought a whole new side to this sport for you, you can’t even imagine what it’s like for the drivers who have failed to make it. The Firestone Fast 6 has Marcus Ericsson on pole, with Pato starting 3rd and Felix 5th. You know this is an incredible place to be for the race; to have a spot in the front row is a huge deal, but Ericsson on pole has everyone worried he’ll pull away with a second win.

You have a week that consists of two practices and studying every move Ericsson makes to find his weak spots and figure out how Pato can play off them. You’re posting on social media five times a day to lead up to the race. The Legends Day parade made for incredible content, and you’re left in awe at the people covering the streets just for a chance to be waved at by a driver.

Pato convinced you to spend the night with him after the parade; you couldn’t say no when he pulled out the puppy dog eyes and pouted at you to stay, especially when you never wanted to say no in the first place. It really was easier to stay in Speedway for the night, considering the traffic in the morning will be horrendous, and you sleep the best you ever have when you’re lying next to him.

The 500 lived up to everything it should. It was 200 laps of pure excitement. At no point in the race were you sure of who was going to win, and it left you unable to breathe for most of it. You had spent the day taking photos and videos so you could do an "Admin’s photo dump," and if you took some photos of Pato making ridiculous faces at you that you planned to just keep to yourself, no one had to know.

At lap 190, Ericsson is in the lead, with Colton Herta second and Pato third. You know that Pato will have to pull off a huge move to take the lead; he’s racing against two of the greatest in the field. As they go around turn 3, Herta goes on the outside of Ericsson, trying to make a pass for the lead, but he finds the marbles and wrecks both of them. Pato got by, but others behind him were not so lucky. The four car wreck gets red flagged immediately. The good news is, Pato’s restarting in 1st; the bad news is there are nine laps left, and Palou is right behind him. As the race starts up again, you can barely breathe. After a warmup lap, the race goes green, Palou takes a hard dive to the inside and passes Pato. He has the lead for three laps, and you’re already upset for Pato; you know how badly he wants this. As you’re thinking that, Pato passes him from the outside, and begins to run away with the lead. He leads the last five laps of the race and crosses the start-finish line as the winner of the 110th Indianapolis 500.

You’re so thrilled for him that you don’t know what to do with yourself. You can hear him on the team radio celebrating and thanking God in Spanish. He does his victory lap, and then brings the car back into pit lane. You’re at his car before it’s even stopped, taking his steering wheel from him, and when he gets out of the car, he wraps you in a hug. He’s holding you around the waist and lifting you up, spinning you. "You just won the fucking Indy 500. I’m so proud of you."

"I couldn’t have done it without you."

He’s all too quickly being pulled away from you and being congratulated by the rest of the team. You stand in awe as you watch one of the most important people in the world to you live out their dreams. You watch every part of the celebration with so much pride. You can’t think of anyone more deserving of the ring, the wreath, or dumping a bottle of milk on himself.

When he kisses the bricks, you’re right there next to him, kissing them too. "I guess it’s good we waited for the real deal to do this."

"This was definitely better than doing it just because we could." He has the biggest smile on his face, from ear to ear and reaching his eyes, and all you can think is how you’d give anything to always have him this happy.

It's been hours of celebrating him, and you’re soaking up every moment. When all of your business at the Speedway is over, you both head back to his motorhome to get ready to go out and celebrate. When you get there, he pulls down the fanciest-looking bottle of tequila you’ve ever seen.

"Take a shot with me?"

You scrunch your nose. "I hate doing shots."

"You can’t say no to me, I’m an Indy 500 winner.”

You sigh and give in. "That card works for today and today only." He has poured out two shot glasses, and handed one to you. "Here’s to you, being the best friend a girl could ask for, and the best damn driver this track has even seen." You clink your glass with his and take the shot, choking it down. "Holy shit, that needs a chase-"

You’re cut off by lips on yours. At first, you’re shocked and don’t react. Once you do, you have one hand on his cheek and the other around his neck, and you lean into the kiss like it’s oxygen. It’s easily the best kiss you’ve ever had, you’re thinking everything and nothing at once, and the pieces of the world feel as if they’ve fallen together. His hands around your waist pulling you to him, the way his mouth presses into yours, the taste of tequila on his lips, and the faint smell of sweat, it’s all too much and yet not enough.

You’re unsure how much time has passed when he pulls away, but you’re panting to catch your breath. "Yeah, that’ll work."

"I promise we’ll talk about this later, I just had to do that, and I really need to shower.”

You’re left a little stunned as he disappears into the bathroom. It has you wondering what this means for the two of you, what if it was just a caught-in-the moment thing and he didn’t really mean it?

He is ready to go within 20 minutes, you’ve changed into a pair of ripped jeans and a corset top, and he’s wearing white dress pants, with a white t-shirt and a gold chain around his neck. You’ve put on a light layer of makeup, and pulled your hair into a bun in an attempt to hide the fact that you’ve been in the sun all day. When he sees you, he says, "You look beautiful."

"Not too bad yourself."

Once you arrive at a bar in Indianapolis, Pato walks around and opens your door for you. He always opens the door for you because you have no clue how to open the doors to his McLaren on your own. When you step out, he places his hand on your lower back. "Is this ok?" You nod at him, and walk into the bar together.

The bar is already filled with people, Pato’s family, friends, other drivers, their partners, and parts of the team out to celebrate Pato’s win. Not everyone in the paddock is best friends, but they all get along, and Pato is so personable that he’s friends with almost everyone, so most drivers are happy for his win. Even Colton and Alex, who are surely having a rough night, came out to congratulate him.

You’re able to watch Pato all night, and he’s a different person than when it’s just the two of you. He’s an entertainer at heart, always putting on a show in front of a crowd, but when it’s just the two of you, it’s like he’s able to relax and just be his authentic self. You've been seated with Kelly and Emille for most of the night, not drinking because you told Pato you’d drive so he could party properly. Even while celebrating with everyone, he still checks in with you periodically throughout the night.

Kelly and Emille must notice the hand he places on your thigh or his lips brushing against your ear because they ask you if the two of you have "finally realized you’re soulmates". You shrug them off, figuring they’d just been drinking too much, but then they confess that one of the reasons they invited you to drink so much is because Felix and Rossi were convinced that you two would be perfect for each other. They quickly move onto a new topic, but you begin to wonder what dating Pato would be like. You figure it’d be a lot like your relationship now, but you’d get to have all of him, and not have to hide your feelings for him. The thought of getting to know him more intimately sends a chill down your spine.

As things start to wind down, Pato comes to where you’re sitting, and wraps his arm across your shoulders. The group has moved around your table, and he’s starting to say his goodbyes. Once you’re out to the car, he hands you his keys. "Please don’t wreck my baby."

"Oh come on, you’ve gotta have more faith in me than that."

"You’re the only person besides my papa I’ve ever let drive this car. That’s enough faith."

You turn on the radio, and the car ride back to Speedway is filled with Pato’s singing. When you arrive back in his motorhome, he’s begging you to spend the night again. You, of course, stay with him.

Climbing in bed, he reaches his hand out to the space in between the two of you. "Too much space. Come closer." You’re on your sides facing each other, and as you scoot in, he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you towards him. "Much better."

You fall asleep like that, but when you wake up, he’s not in the bed. It has you panicking, wondering if it was a mistake to kiss him, and even more, imagining a relationship with him. You’re in one of his sweatshirts when you climb out of bed and head to the living area. You find it empty, of both Pato and the dogs. You’re pretty worried now, not knowing where he could’ve gone or why he disappeared so early.

Before your mind is able to wander too much further, the door to his motorhome opens, and the dogs come barging in. Pato has his hands full, but when he sets the stuff down on the counter and finally looks at you, he’s upset. "Oh no! You were supposed to still be in bed. Shoot!"

"Where did you go?" You’re very confused about his whereabouts and his aversion to you being awake.

"I went to get us breakfast, I wanted to surprise you when you woke up. I got all your favorites."

You can’t help the smile breaking out on your face. "You got me breakfast?"

"Of course I did. I know I said we’d talk about the kissing later, but I still feel bad for making you wait," a blush spreading across his cheeks. "I wanted to show you how much you mean to me."

You’re wrapping him in a hug before you know it. "I thought you freaked on me and bailed."

He pulls back from you and lightly takes your face in both hands. "I’m not bailing or freaking. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, and I can’t stop thinking about you, haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I can feel myself falling for you more each day."

You can see the sincerity in his eyes as they bore into yours. "Pato,"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me again."

A huge grin breaks out on his face as he pulls yours to him. The kiss starts softly, with one of his hands cradling the back of your head while the other stays rested on your face. As it goes on, you continue to push him, your tongue swiping across his lips, seeking entrance. His hand tangles in your hair, and the other moves down to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him. He has full control of the kiss, and you, at this point. Your hands are in his hair and on his chest, letting him lead you through minutes of a make out session like you’re in high school.

He pulls away, but you continue to chase his lips. He almost gives in, but he grabs your face and stops you from continuing. "Wait," He’s panting, and you’re pretty sure it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. "I have something important I need to ask you."

You look at him expectantly and hope he can’t tell how fast your heart is beating. "Will you come to the victory banquet with me tonight? I want to celebrate with you."

You consider it, you know it’s a black tie event, and you know it’s broadcasted; you really don’t want anyone wondering or theorizing about who you are. "I don’t have anything to wear."

"I’ll buy you something."

"I do not need you to buy me clothes."

"Now you’re just being difficult. Come with me, por favor, and let me buy you a dress."

You caved to his begging, like always, and he took you to a high-end boutique to find a dress. As you looked through the store, he grabbed a few dresses to add to the ones you were trying on. He followed you to the dressing rooms, and you modeled each dress for him.

"Pato, I can’t believe you picked this out."

"What’s wrong with it?" His voice is whiny, and you can tell through the door that he’s offended.

You look at yourself one more time in the mirror before stepping out to show him. It’s a rouched pink satin dress that’s all too short, and shows an insane amount of cleavage. Pato leaned back on the seat, looking as smug as ever. "You’ve never looked better."

You give him a death stare, "This is so not appropriate, and so not funny." You’re getting stressed about all of this, it’s a lot to go to this event with him and be seen by all of your coworkers, but even more so by any fans.

He must notice how overwhelmed you’re getting because he reaches out and grabs your hand. "Woah, baby, what’s wrong?" You explain to him everything that’s on your mind. "Hey, it’ll be alright, I promise you. What do you need to feel better about this? I’ll give you anything."

"I just want to find something to wear."

"Ok, we’ll find something, I’ll take you to every store in the state if I have to. You’ve still got a few more in there, yeah?" You nod and disappear behind the curtain to try the last couple on.

Finally, you put on a dress that felt perfect. It’s a floor-length black gown with a slit on the left leg and a deep v-neck. "I really like this one, but tell me what you think, and be honest."

You walk out and stand in front of Pato, giving him a slow twirl. "Wow."

"Do you like it?"

"Wow." You slap his arm lightly. "Estás deliciosa." (You are delicious)

You wrap your arms around his shoulder and sit perched on his legs. "Y estás muy rico." (And you are very hot)

"I think this is the one, but I won’t be able to keep my hands off you all night."

You change back into your clothes, and head to buy that dress. Your jaw drops when you realize the dress is $450, but before you’re able to protest, Pato has already paid for it. "You did not have to do that, I could’ve found a different dress."

"I liked that one."

"I don’t even know how I ended up trying it on, I didn’t grab anything that expensive."

"I grabbed it, you deserve nice things." He kisses your cheek. "Now stop and let me spoil you."

You feel a heat rise on your cheeks, You’re not used to being treated like you deserve everything, but something tells you Pato’s not going to stop doing so.

You spend hours getting ready, but finally you’re at the victory banquet together. He pays for a ride there, so you could both drink and not worry about it. You walk the red carpet together, and he has his hand around your waist or on the small of your back the whole time.

Everything feels so natural with Pato, from the way he gets you a drink without having to ask what you’d like to his hand resting just above your knee. As a host drones on, you lean into him and whisper, "Pato?"

"Hmm?"

"Is this a date?"

He turns to you a little quizzically, and almost looks offended. "What? No."

You try to hide your disappointment. "Oh, ok, I just thought..."

"When I take you on a date, you will have no doubt it’s a date. There’ll be flowers and dinner, and I will pick you up, and if you’re lucky, I’ll kiss you at the end of the night."

June

And a few days later, he keeps his promise. He picks you up from your hotel with the largest bouquet you’ve ever seen. He then brings you to a restaurant in downtown Detroit, it’s easily the nicest place you’ve ever been. He pays for the meal, which was easily $500, and then drives you home. Things with Pato were easy, the date was the best you’d ever been on, and you both spent dinner laughing, and constantly brushing against each other in some way. When you got to your hotel door, he kissed you as promised. Everything with him is still so new, which makes you want him desperately. His hand wrapped in your hair, which pulls slightly as his tongue slips into your mouth, sends a chill down your spine. You lose track of time, and your thoughts are flooded with nothing but him. You pull away from him, but he immediately moves his lips to your neck.

You can feel your chest heaving, "We should stop." even though you really don’t want to.

"This is more fun." You can feel the vibrations of his words against your neck.

"If we don’t stop now, I don’t think I will." Despite how much you want that, you’re still hesitant about jumping into things too quickly with him.

He detaches himself from your neck, and when he pulls back, you can see that his pupils are blown, and his hair is mussed from your hands running through it. "Have I told you how insanely gorgeous you look tonight?"

"Only about 30 times." You stand there smiling at each other for a moment, stuck in your own bubble. "It’s getting late."

"I know. I should go."

"Yeah, you probably should." Except you can’t help yourself from kissing him one last time. This time it’s soft and sweet.

"Now I’ve really got to go before we get started again." He walks towards the elevator, but turns just before heading into it. "You’re driving me crazy, invading all of my thoughts, I can barely function!" You know he’s joking, but you also feel the same way.

"Goodnight, Patito!" You call after him, and he returns with "Sweet dreams."

You spent the next few weeks settling into each other. You haven’t told anyone about being together, and have been enjoying your time in secret. You’ve just decided that there’s no rush to tell anyone, and it’s a little fun sneaking around.

It’s three days before Road America when you and Pato are softly chatting while waiting for Fro and Alex to arrive so you can film some content. You mindlessly have your hands locked together, and he’s rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. You don’t notice the guys arrive, and they sneak up on you.

"Hey, guys, what’s up?" You jump when you hear Felix’s voice and pull your hand back.

Pato tries to play it off by greeting him back, but Felix just bursts into laughter. You and Pato both laugh along with him but are confused. "What’s so funny?"

"Are you seriously trying to hide that you’re together right now?" Felix can hardly get the words out.

You and Pato both share a look before trying to play it off. "What? We’re not together, we’re just friends."

Now Alex, who tends to just watch, joins in, "We’ve known since the 500."

You roll your eyes at him. "Ok, we haven’t even known since the 500."

"Tell that to lover boy because he didn’t take his eyes off of you all night, and we saw the way he was touching you."

Pato’s cheeks are now bright red, "Ok, I wasn’t that bad."

"Like a love sick puppy." Pato hides his face in his hands.

At this point, you’re just laughing, leave it to Rossi to be brutally honest. You pull his hands away, "Aww, baby, don’t be shy; I think it’s cute."

July

Mid-Ohio once again falls on the Fourth of July weekend. Pato did great in the race, working from 10th place qualifying to a 2nd place finish. The two of you booked a hotel room together for the weekend because you end up in the same hotel most of the time anyway.

After the race, Pato took you out to celebrate. You found a place that was putting on a fireworks show and was lined with food trucks. You both got the greasiest food imaginable, and bought an elephant ear. You found a place in the grass and got comfortable on a large blanket. You laid against him as you waited for the fireworks to start and ate your food.

You’re talking about everything and nothing when Pato grabs your hand and then kisses you softly. "What was that for?"

"I think I’m falling in love with you."

At first, you’re a little shocked to hear it, but you can’t say you don’t feel the same. Everything with Pato has been so fast, but it’s also been so incredibly easy and natural. "I think I’m falling in love with you, too."

You feel like a teenager, making out in front of all these people, but it’s dark enough that you hope no one can see you. It’s the most loved you’ve ever felt, you can tell he’s pouring everything he feels into the kiss. You’re lying down on the ground, cuddled together, as you watch the fireworks go off above you.

When you get back to the hotel room, you’re not tired in the slightest. You’re pulling him into you and kissing him as he tries to unlock the door. When he finally gets the door open, he pulls you inside the room, pins you against the back side of it, and automatically asks for entry into your mouth with his tongue.

It doesn’t take long until he’s backing you up onto the bed and you’re falling back on it.

He continues chasing your lips, only breaking away to pull off his shirt. He grabs the hem of your shirt, but before lifting off, he stops to make sure you really want to do this. When you nod your head, he pulls it over your head. Your chest is heaving as he reaches behind you to undo your bra.

You can feel him pressing up against you, and you reach down to grab him as he attaches his mouth to your breasts. It has him pressing into your hand and letting out a moan that has you shivering.

Before you know it, you’re lying together in the middle of the bed, and you’re begging him to slide into you. When he finally does, you see stars. He’s babbling in Spanish, you can’t pick it all up, but you understand that he’s telling you how beautiful you are and that he loves you. You’ve never felt so fully connected to or in love with a person.

Your foreheads are pressed together, and your lips are brushing every time he moves. His right hand is holding yours, and his left is tweaking your nipple.

"Eres la persona más sexy que he conocido." (You’re the sexiest person I’ve ever met.)

His Spanish has you shivering under him as he continuously pumps into you. You feel yourself growing closer as he begins to speed up, and you move your hand down to your clit to move yourself along. He slaps your hand away and replaces it with his own. "Quiero explorar cada centímetro de tu cuerpo." (I want to explore every inch of your body)

You can tell he’s close by his faltering rhythm, but so are you. As he moves his lips to your ear and tells you to let go, you go flying over the edge. You’re seeing white, and he follows quickly after; it’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had.

You’re both naked with a layer of sweat covering your bodies, and you’re curled into his side. You’re tracing random designs across his chest as you both try to catch your breath, and he is placing kisses on your forehead.

"I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy." You’re whispering into the dim room, hoping he knows how special he is to you.

"Me either. Estoy enloquecido por ti." (I am crazy for you)

Things with Pato keep getting better. He took you to Mexico with him during the break between Ohio and Toronto, and you met a lot of his family. You automatically got along with everyone, and loved how close knit everyone was. You only fell deeper for him around his family. He introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend, and told everyone how much he loved you. You’re having dinner at one of his Tio’s farms, and you watch him as he runs around with all of his younger cousins, and you decide that if he asked you tomorrow, you’d run off to Mexico and spend the rest of your life with him.

August

Nashville came, and the two of you spent the weekend partying like it was your 21st birthday. When you came to a bar with a mechanical bull in it, Pato was convinced he could ride it. You took a picture of him, cowboy hat on and arm in the air, and put it on your Instagram story with the caption "save a horse, ride a cowboy". This was the first time you’ve posted anything about him, but you figured it wouldn’t be a big deal because you have a small following made up mostly of friends and family.

The following morning, Pato posted a photo dump of the weekend, and included a picture of you kissing his helmet before he climbed into his car. You can’t tell that it’s you, from your hair or the angle Elba took the photo from, but that doesn’t stop people from noticing. Immediately, fans flood the comments with questions about your identity. Your papaya polo is the only thing that gives people any clue as to who you are. No one really ends up finding out it’s you, but a few people see your story and like it.

You’re back in Indianapolis the next week, and Pato is staying at your apartment. He insists that he meet your family, claiming it’s unfair that he hasn’t met them when you’ve met all of his. You took him to your childhood home for dinner. Your dad grilled steaks, and your mom made corn on the cob and baked potatoes. Your parents knew about you and Pato, and they’d known who he was since he started racing. You were nervous as you pulled into your driveway. Pato grew up with money, you know that most drivers do, and he grew up in a huge house in San Antonio. You don’t know exactly what he makes now, but you know that it’s a lot, most likely pushing $1 million a year. Your yearly salary is a weekend getaway for him. He’s never shown that he cared at all; he gladly stays with you in your apartment with creaky floors and poor water pressure, but you still worry about what he will think of the home.

Your worries dissipate as soon as you walk in the door, and he’s nothing but his perfect self. He shakes hands with your father and hugs your mother, you can tell that they love him already. You eat dinner together in your backyard, and he immediately starts talking racing with your dad. Your dog stares at him as he eats, begging for a bite, and you chuckle when he caves and tries to secretly feed him a bite.

You know that the season only has a month left in it, and the thought of living in two different states looms like a bit of a dark cloud, but moments like this make you know you’ll be okay.

September

The season is closing, and you’re busier than you’ve thought possible. The top 3 for the championship are Palou, Pato, and Felix, so you’ve been insanely busy promoting the last 2 weeks of the season, and planning posts for the result of the championship.

There’s a lot of tension on the team because of how close Pato and Felix are, and either of them could win the championship. There’s also the chance that neither of them would win it, which would stink after such a strong year for the team. You worry about Pato and his relationship with Felix, and you don’t want the fight for the championship to hurt that at all. You can also tell that the stress is getting to Pato, he’s at work constantly, and even when you’re home, he’s studying his previous races or working out ridiculous amounts. You try to be there for him, but it’s hard when there’s no way you can ensure he wins the next two races.

And Portland doesn’t go the way he wanted. He has a 3rd-place finish, which slots him down a spot in the race for the championship and makes it so he needs to have an absolutely perfect run for Monterey.

You’re exiting the bathroom in your hotel room when you notice he’s sitting on the bed, staring off into space. "Pato, are you ok, honey?"

He takes a minute before responding. "There are five days left of the season."

"I know that."

"I live in San Antonio; you live in Indianapolis."

"Oh." You’ve both been avoiding this subject for as long as possible, but you’re running out of time, and it needs to be addressed. You sit down gently on the bed next to him.

"I love you, you know that, but I don’t know if I can handle being away from you that often."

"I know, I’ve gotten so used to being with you that it’s hard to be apart." You know that some couples crave distance, and would not be able to handle working together as well as basically living together, but you always want to be within 30 feet of Pato.

"Maybe I’ll move up here, it’s where the team is based, so it makes sense. I just already don’t see my family enough, especially the ones in Mexico."

Pato does so much for you, and works so hard that you know what the answer is. "I’ll move to San Antonio." You’ll be with him, but you have to be in Indiana frequently anyway for work, so you’d still see your family a lot.

"That’s not fair to you, to pick up your whole life."

"It’s what I want to do. I don’t want to be anywhere that you aren’t, and I’ll see my family whenever we have to work."

He pulls you into a hug that’s a little bone crushing. "I love you, mas que vida." (more than life)

"Te amo también." (I love you too) Your eyes are a little watery, and having moments like this with Pato remind you how endlessly lucky you are.

Pato seems to be in overdrive, his car is lightning fast, and he comes out on top of both practices.

You’re sitting in the driver's room with Pato while he gets ready for qualifying, he’d arrived insanely early, so he had time to decompress before going out. You’re cuddled together on the couch, with his fire suit hanging off his hips, and you’re talking about something other than racing for what feels like the first time in months. Rossi enters and finds the two of you there, "You know this is for drivers only?" You know he’s just giving you a hard time.

"I had to be here, I’m doing very important business." You smile up at him as he begins to grab all of his racing gear.

"I can tell."

As Rossi gets ready, he joins in on your and Pato’s conversation, but not much because the two of you talk so much that it barely gives him a chance. Then Felix shows up, late as always. He grabs his helmet and then hands it to you.

"What am I going with this?"

Oh, you don’t need it? I thought you were a driver now."

"You are sooo funny." You grab a pillow off the couch and throw it at him.

You sit with Pato until you have to go to the pits to do work. During qualifying, he puts up an insane lap that puts him in P1 by over a second. Pato gets the pole for the race tomorrow.

You’re both buzzing when you walk into your hotel room, and he’s immediately all over you. You’re setting your stuff down by the door, and he’s crowding up behind you. His hands are on your hips, and he’s grinding into you as he attaches his lips to your neck. "You’re my good luck charm. I’m gonna take you to bed and show you how thankful I am."

Heat is riding up your neck, and you’re leaning back into his touch. He takes you to the bed and tosses you on top of it. He takes his shirt off, but then turns all his attention towards you. He was kissing a trail down your body as he undressed you. Worshipping every new piece of revealed skin. He had you in just underwear panting and begging for him to do something more. He’s teasing you over the lace of your panties, and you know it’s absolutely soaked.

He finally takes them off and slips one finger in. You’re so desperate that it has you crying out, and he quickly adds another. "Is this why they call you fast hands?" You can barely get the sentence out, but it has him laughing. His hands are good, but they’re nothing compared to his mouth. He’s still pumping into you with his fingers, but he brings his tongue to your clit. He circles it with his tongue a few times, but then sucks on it lightly, which has you crying out.

Your hands are in his hair, pulling so hard that you know it has to hurt, but it seems to only spur him on. He lays his tongue flat against you, and you buck against him as he repeatedly hits your spot. It has you tumbling toward the edge, but you pull him away before you’re able to.

He looks a little confused, but you quickly dissolve his fears. "Want to come with you in me." He immediately crawls up your body, and pulls down his sweats, which now have a wet spot on them, just enough to free his cock. He gives himself a few pumps before he's filling you. He doesn’t give you time to adjust as he starts pounding into you, his thumb pressing circles around your clit.

"Come on, pretty girl, come for me." His words send you over, and you’re coming with a loud moan. He follows you shortly after, biting into your shoulder to muffle the groan he lets out.

He collapses next to you as you catch your breath. Your chests are both heaving when he says, "Round two?"

It has you laughing out loud because, of course, he wants to go again. "I'm afraid I won’t be your good luck charm if you fall asleep behind the wheel because you were up fucking me all night."

"Doesn’t matter. It’ll be worth it."

You do end up sleeping, which is a good thing because you both have incredibly busy days. You've been incredibly nervous all day, buzzing with anticipation of whether Pato will become the champion. You don’t get a lot of time, but you do see him for a few minutes before he has to get in the car.

"Kiss for good luck?" You place an exaggerated kiss on his lips. "What about a quickie?"

"Patricio O’ward!" Your jaw is open, and you’re looking around to see if anyone heard him. "Get in your car."

He hugs you before he has to go, but you whisper to him as he does. "Be safe. And I’ll give you whatever you want if you win." When he pulls back, he’s smiling from ear to ear, and he jogs off to his car.

You were on the edge of your seat for all 95 laps. Each lap was more nerve wracking than the last, and you felt like you could only breathe when a yellow was thrown. To make matters worse, there wasn’t a dull moment in the race. There were six yellows and a red flag thrown in the race, and one of the yellows screwed Pato, letting most of the field pit on yellow when he’d just pitted on green. You felt crazy, with his radio in your ear, tracking his stats for every lap, and counting how long each pit stop took. The whole team was on edge, but you were even more so.

After what felt like 10 hours, the race ended with Pato in the lead. You realized immediately everything this meant for him. This is the year he became an Indy 500 winner and an IndyCar champion.

He pulls into pit lane, and there’s cameras all over as the team runs out to meet him. He’s standing on top of his car, screaming out and celebrating, but then he spots you. He points to you and runs over to you as he takes off his helmet. He’s kissing you before you can really process anything. You grab his face and look into his eyes to speak to him. "I can’t believe it, I’m so proud of you." Your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile is.

"Never could’ve done it without you."

Your kiss was put on national television, and fans quickly put together that you’re the girl from Nashville and the victory banquet, but you don’t care. You are so insanely in love with Pato, and you want the world to know it.

[tobi-rx]

Okay I can’t be the only one who sees this: that a Transformers/Arcane au could work.

Like, imagine a humanformers au where the transformers are inhabitants of Piltover/Zaun, or a transformers au where the Arcane characters are Cybertronians. I just think it could work and translate pretty well, especially given the similar overarching storyline of class struggle and war?

I think I’ll call it the Arcane humanformers au and the Arcane Cybertronians au respectively.

Not sure how I can justify the Arcane characters and the Transformers characters existing together without either making the transformers characters whatever species’ occupies the world of arcane, or making the arcane characters into cybertronians.

Idk yet how character interactions would work if I just stuck humanformers into the arcane world or if I just stuck cybertronian arcane characters into the transformers world, like it’ll take more thinking on my part that I’ll do later.

For clarification purposes I’m thinking about multiple continuities of Transformers, not just the movie which frankly launched me into the rabbit hole.

Keep in mind I am not familiar with all the transformers lore, nor am I familiar with League of Legends lore, and I’m not entirely caught up with Arcane yet.

With my preamble out of the way, hear me out:

Piltover/Zaun = Cybertron before the civil war that destroyed the planet.

Piltover and Pre-War cybertron both have a corrupt council of sorts. There’s a clear class divide, and while the Pilties/Upper caste of Cybertron live in prosperity it comes at the cost of the suffering of the Zaunites/the lower caste of Cybertron, who are the Decepticons-to-be.

Vander and Silco would probably have a similar role to Megatron as rebellion leaders, and in arcane cybertronians au, one of the early decepticon uprisings ended in disaster. Arrests, police brutality, death, etc.

Vi and Powder’s parents were among the decepticon rebels, and they were adopted by Vander, a la Optimus adopting a war orphan Bumblebee in some continuities?

I know Piltover and Zaun are still standing in League of Legends but imagine if in Arcane humanformers au, the use of hextech weapons results in the destruction of both cities, resulting in the arcane humanformers equivalent of the exodus from Cybertron in transformers.

Perhaps Piltover = Iacon and Zaun = Kaon??

The Iacon Hall of Records = Piltover Academy

And given that maybe Alpha Trion and Heimerdinger get similar roles?? Like they’re both the head of their respective academic institutions in the upper class city and also members of their councils.

If we’re going with the archivist origin for Optimus Prime/Orion Pax, he’d be the Dean’s assistant or apprentice, the Dean being Alpha Trion. If we’re going with the police origin for Pax, he’d probably play out a character arc similar to season 1 Caitlyn after meeting Megatron.

Wait, ayo? Caitlyn releases Vi from jail as their first official meeting, and in the IDW comics, police Orion Pax releases Megatron from jail as their first meeting, after Vi and Megatron were wrongfully imprisoned -

Tangent: I declare MegOP or OpMeg lesbians, it’s canon now because I make the rules /hj

The Arcane = Primus? The Allspark?

Shimmer = Dark Energon/the blood of Unicron, but also they’re both purple (referencing TFP).

arcane Cybertronians au: where Singed is studying how to use Dark Energon to bring the dead back to life, like bringing his daughter back to life, without turning her into a zombie or something, like Dark Energon does in TFP.

Cybertronian Silco giving Jinx Dark Energon in a last ditch effort to save her, and while it brings her back, she goes a little insane like Megatron in TFP. Perhaps Silco is still a drug lord? Chem baron? But instead of shimmer it’s dark energon.

Hextech = New upgrades/mods/technologies powered by harnessing the power of Primus or the allspark? Like perhaps hextech crystals are like allspark fragments in TF: Animated 2007.

Maybe in arcane Cybertronians au, the allspark was fractured long ago, but allspark fragements can be found around the planet. Or maybe allspark crystals are rare but can just be found in deposits?? I’m not sure how hex crystals work exactly in the arcane universe. But maybe the Cybertronians start using allspark fragements in their machinery and weapons and it turbocharged stuff, plus has magical properties.

Like, maybe Cybertronian Vi gets upgrades in the form of the atlas gauntlets. Perhaps Cybertronian Caitlyn gets retrofitted with a allspark powered shotgun.

Maybe Jinx’s Shark Gun, Fishbones, is like Megatron’s fusion cannon.

Maybe in Arcane Cybertronian au, Primus (the arcane) went into stasis (sleep) but with the increased use of allspark crystals (perhaps tied to the power of Primus?? I’m not sure what the relationship between the allspark and Primus is supposed to be), and a war ramping up, Primus is waking up like the Arcane does in season 2???

For Cybertronian Jayce and Viktor, I’m considering Viktor’s arc to be kind of like IDW Senator Shockwave. Like perhaps Jayce and Viktor are cybertornian senators, and also scientists of course, and Viktor is Kaon’s senator perhaps?

If we follow league canon, perhaps Cybertronian Viktor gets subjugated to Empurata and Shadowplay and becomes the Machine Herald (Decepticon Shockwave) after trying to help the lower class which he comes from? Opposing the rest of the Council of cybertron? Maybe as a senator, Cyber-Viktor was upgrading mechs, and suspected of building an army, he was punished as a result.

Perhaps Jayce would take a role akin to Ultra Magnus? I mean, Jayce has his Atlas Hammer (I think that’s what it’s called), and Ultra Magnus has his Magnus Hammer (TFA) or has the hammer of Solus Prime for a bit (TFP).

Oh wait what if some hextech weapons in arcane are artifacts of the Primes?

What if in Arcane Humanformers au, the Primes wielded powerful magic artifacts whose power is closely tied with Wild Magic/the Arcane, and that is part of what is triggering the Arcane to wake up?

Anyways, that’s all I got for now.

If anyone else wants to add anything please use the tags and tag me cause I’d love to see what other people might come up with if interested! :D

[littleclosetofbyler]

I personally don’t really want Byler to hook up in season 5 purely because it doesn’t feel like something either Mike or Will would jump to doing immediately, especially not Will (though we may see a more confident side of him in season 5 that might want to especially with an “end of the world” vibe weighing on them), I could see Will wanting a more “ease into it” or “sweet romance first” type of relationship, and having both Mike and Will go from deep in the closet to immediately dtf doesn’t feel right.

But I understand why people want it especially since in season 5 they’ll be older than Nancy was in season 1 and the same age as Jonathan and Nancy in season 2, and in season 1 Nancy hooked up with Steve and in season 2 Nancy and Jonathan hooked up, so by having Byler hook up, it does equivocate them with the other older teen straight ships we’ve so far seen be romantically entangled. A lot of media, especially teen media (which ST isn’t, but the majority of the characters are young) feel the need to “purify” queer ships, so Byler not hooking up may come across as trying to do just that.

But again I personally don’t want them to hook up because I don’t feel like it makes sense right away immediately after a confession or kiss for Will and Mike specifically. If there was to be a season 6 then that’s when I’d want them to have their own implied hook up scene because I think both characters wouldn’t be able to go from repressed in the closet to immediately hooking up at the drop of a hat, they already have enough to process and come to terms with regarding their sexuality, sex itself just seems like it would be something to build up to together.

(I’m aroace though so maybe that’s affecting my personal opinion?)

Anyways I do think the Duffers will give us a kiss, I think they’ve set it up where it’ll be this incredible moment of joy and catharsis, and I don’t think the Duffers are cowards, I think they’ll push for this especially since it’s the final season. Fuck Netflix, this is the culmination of a slow burn friends to lovers romance and I think they’ll want to do it justice.

I got indeed a lot of hate for that post, and your message. Thanks for being civil.

I think the opposite, it's not about being pure, it's about it needing to be just a friends to lovers without going overboard with hypersexualization or fan service.

The thing with S1 and the teens is that we as GA at the time, never saw them as teens, because we didn't know them at the time, they were new and getting into show for it.

In S5 when the kids will be that age (20-24 actors, 16 characters) it's "okay" but it's also weird as hell because they entered the story at 11... i don't know about you but I would rather no see this kind of scene with anyone I would have meet at that age.

When I say a lot of you are young for this, I mean it in the sense that you haven't seen the fandom act; the same happened with Harry Potter in 2001 when we didn't even know how to stories would end, everyone was insane for it.

Then the infamous scene in that last part happened and... everyone was weirded out.

Media is a weird format, and a lot of fans are weird, doesn't matter which side we are from.

And people just leave a comment, I don't go well with asks, I don't even know how they work, i am here for the theories.

[maybeiwasjustjade]

Alright y’all, place your bets on the timeline for the rest of the show.

This season has been a mess and a half, and if the new leaks are through then this season has been basically a boring filler for over half of it. Rumor had it that the Fall of King’s Landing happens in the finale. New leaks have come out that nothing of the sort seems to be happening until S3.

Assuming the show lasts five seasons, how do you think each season will pan out?

* 5 seasons because I think there’s too many battles and events for it to end in 2 more seasons, and HBO does not have the budget for a dragon battle almost every episode after 3x01. Also half the cast would be dead by s3 ending alongside almost all the dragons. Even if the show ended with Rhaenyra’s death, a lot of fan favorites will die in quick succession to make up for the shit storytelling. And knowing how pro TB the writers are, I doubt it’ll end before Aegon III is crowned.

What I think:

Season 3:

King’s Landing falls within the first 2 episodes. Aegon is snuck out by Larys alongside Jaehaera. There’s a minor timeskip during the season to prolong Rhaenyra’s reign because the writers seem to be obsessed with her. And because it gives the child characters time to grow up enough for certain events

Maelor is born in captivity, and then snuck out during the chaos of the aftermath of the Gullet.

Honeywine is mid-season episode, and the true introduction to Daeron and Tessarion

Butcher’s Ball will probably happen this season too

The Gullet happens at the penultimate episode. With Joffrey being so young still, he’s sent away with bby! Aegon and Viserys to Pentos. The battle happens; Aegon barely escapes, Viserys is lost, and Jace is more than likely going to be killed by trying to get to Joffrey on time (who probably also dies). Rhaena-as-Nettles feels insurmountable levels of guilt; Rhaenyra blames her for Jace (which leads to the Nettles-Daemon part of the arc).

Finale is Aegon conquering Dragonstone and killing Moondancer. Baela’s fate is left up to interpretation (for now)

Season 4:

Maelor is killed in the premiere as a shock value. Doubt the writers are brave enough to go the Mushroom route of the Brothel Queens arc, but who knows if Rhaenyra goes insane after all but one son is killed. His head is delivered to Rhaenyra. Helaena goes insane. First Tumbleton happens.

Considering the show seems to be trying a little too hard to redeem Daemon at the moment, and if Rhaenyra does go insane after the Gullet, then Daemon might actually go the Nettle arc for Rhaena. Gods Eye happens as the mid-season arc; Aemond and Daemon are both killed.

Second Tumbleton will probably happen before the Dragonpit, making that event the damning end of the dragons. Daeron, Addam, Hugh, and Ulf are all killed, and their dragons too.

Driven to insanity over what happened to Maelor (because it was too similar to Jaehaerys) and the deaths of nearly all her brothers and her daughter and Aegon still ‘missing’, Helaena jumps to her death in the penultimate episode.

The Storming of the Dragonpit takes up most of the finale. Depending on whether Joffrey and Tyraxes do die at the Gullet (or just Joffrey) then Joffrey is lost in the chaos, and all King’s Landing dragons killed. Rhaenyra and bby! Aegon escape.

Season 5:

The premiere episode will probably end with Rhaenyra and Aegon arriving on Dragonstone.

Episode 2 is Rhaenyra’s death. Knowing the show they’ll probably make it that she tries to tell Aegon bout the damned Prophecy while she’s dying. Followed by Sunfyre’s. Chaos reigns in King’s Landing. If the show follows through with the existence of Trystane Truefyre, then he and Gaemon will make an appearance.

Aegon returns to the capital by the end of episode 3. Episode 4 will probably be about Aegon trying to hatch another dragon + agreeing to marry Cassandra Baratheon. The Battle of the Kingsroad begin.

Aegon is poisoned and killed in episode 5. Aegon III is crowned. Cregan Stark and his army arrive at King’s Landing.

The Hour of the Wolf would take up over an episode so maybe 6-7

Series finale will be the marriage between Aegon III and Jaehaera, and the regency of Aegon III. Morning hatches to signify that it isn’t the end of House Targaryen (it is). Alicent dies, representing the death of the Greens.

Alternatively, Rhaenyra dies in the premiere, speeding up the events. Aegon dying and bby! Aegon is crowned as part of the mid-season episode. Aegon III and Jaehaera are married by episode 6, and Jaehaera is killed by episode 7 when Daenaera Velaryon is introduced. The series ends with Viserys’ miraculous return (because Condal and Hess just loves TB that much)

*Hilariously, before the season began I was so sure it wouldn’t last more than four seasons. Rook’s Rest would be 2x04, the Dragonseeds by 2x06, and the Gullet in 2x07. Honeywine and The Fall of King’s Landing by the finale. But for that to happen Maelor and Daeron would have to exist…2 years ago in the writers room.

Then Butcher’s Ball, Tumbleton, Gods Eye, and Dragonstone falling by the end of s3. The ending shot of s3 (or even rhe beginning of s4) would be Aegon claiming Dragonstone after being missing for over a season. Then s4 would just have to deal with Tumbleton redux, and Helaena dying by episode 3. 4x04 would be the Storming of the Dragonpits. 4x05 is Rhaenyra and Aegon III’s mad dash to Dragonstone only to discover that it has been taken. Rhaenyra dies, then Sunfyre. 4x06 deals with Trystane Truefyre and the Kingsroad Battle, Aegon’s agreement to marry Cassandra Baratheon, and then Aegon’s poisoning. 4x07-08 is the Hour of the Wolf, and the series ends with Aegon III and Jaehaera being forced to marry.

[anteroom-of-death]

When We Meet Again, part 1

Synopsis: A new teacher at Roundview has to deal with her first Parent's Night. She meets a man that has quite the large amount of baggage and gossip around him.

a/n: a fic! From me?? Nah son. Thats crazy. Multi-chapter love for this man coming tho. Slowly. One day. Love you alllllllll.

Parent’s Night, the bane of any teacher’s existence. Truly a hell on Earth, between those parents that thought your job was just to babysit and those that were willfully ignorant about their children’s behavior in school, you couldn’t take it.

At least those were miles better than the ones that took their children’s academic prowess as a mark of their own success.

The student who’s father was coming in now, the mother eloped with some German man, was named Sid. Your heart went out to him. Really. His home life was in shambles. Said father was recently in hospital for something about his heart.

Local gossip mills and the teacher’s lounge still shattered with the grips of poor Sid’s tragic, dramatic home life.

You’d be a bit more supportive if it was only that; his home life.

Sid seemed to be intent on dragging everyone else in the school with him, however. Hopeless, truly.

What a time to get into teaching!

The man wobbled in, he wasn’t unattractive. The mother was insane for running off. You marked the whole explosive thing as probably personality-based. That’s why people cheated in mostly. Personality and boredom. Usually, appearances had seldom to do with cheating. Super models got cheated on all the time…

Maybe he inherited his father’s personality?

You suddenly didn’t fault the mother.

His eyes seemed perpetually wet as he sat down across from you. They were lovely. Not quite blue, not quite green, grey and gold flecks throughout, rimmed with an exhausted red line. The sudden locked contact of them shot through your core. Framed with lush, arched brows and pretty little lashes…

“My wee boy, how’s he been?” The man; Mark, according to your records asked. It was earnest. “I’ve been trying my best to get his grades up.” He swallowed as you caught a glimpse of the scar from surgery under his wrinkled, wrongly-buttoned shirt.

You swallowed back. He seemed gravely concerned, with genuine love for Sid bubbling forward. The way he asked seemed so gut-wrenchingly genuine and paternal concern that broached towards reverent.

Definitely not inherited personality faults from him, you walked back your previous guess.

“Not good, his grades continue to slip. He keeps moping about some girl named Cassie. I keep telling the school councilor to get involved. He seems unreachable.” You went for brutal honesty. A man who was briefly declared dead would appreciate that, right?

He let a few choice words. It felt well-suited. Duly earned.

You felt for him truly…

Leaning forward, you laid out a sympathetic hand on the man…

“He’s nearly catatonic. It might not be a matter of skills.” You reasoned. “He has gone a through a lot…maybe try to get him in for a psych eval?” You tried to give seasoned advice and speak from what little experience you had.

He sighed.

“Just tell me what to do.” Mark resigned himself into a self-conscious slouch. “He has to do better in life than me or even his grandfather did.” He seemed content to all but hover above the surface of the desk.

Definitely not personality-based cheating, you thought as you rolled back your previous observation. Unless this was a new personality based on his health scare and Sid driving him to his limit.

Oh well, so much for gossip-based psychology!

You put a caring, cautious hand on his shoulder. (Bony, yet firm you remarked.) He was close to breaking into tears. It wasn’t fair.

“He’s already got a good support system in you and what the school administration can provide. Get him the mental health care he needs. It may not be a perfect fix, but it’ll help.” You felt yourself rubbing soothing circles into this near-perfect stranger’s upper back.

His back felt almost muscular. Thin, oddly spaced out. But firm. Just like his shoulders.

It wasn’t all that bad to touch.

Something overtook you as you produced a post-it and wrote your number down. It was a bad, possibly sideways move. Definitely not in the teacher’s handbook.

You shook yourself. You just didn’t want to see this man fall into disarray further because of his son. The boy was this close to falling through the cracks completely. People usually inherited their mental health struggles from their parents…

Nothing else. Clearly not a sudden desire to see this man again.

“Why don’t we meet up outside for a coffee and we can discuss this somewhere cheerier?” You slid it forward. “Ring me on there and we’ll chat, hopefully somewhere with outdoor seating.” You laughed a small laugh as of to diffuse the situation and show your metaphorical belly.

“Aye. That’ll do.” He took the post-it and slid it into his jeans pocket.

“I know you cannae waste all your time on me. You’ve got parents queuing up for miles.” He said as he got up and shuffled clumsily to the door.

You went back to your notes about said meeting as some other kid’s parents trotted in.

You couldn’t wait for your coffee date.

Or whatever it was.

Definitely not a date!

[annimator]

Recently, it’s come to my attention that Disventure Camp’s been getting a bunch of copyright strikes for their episodes all thanks to an ex-employee that was lacklustre at their job.

Said ex-employee started contacting toon boom and made claims about the animators behind DC using pirated copies of their software. And Toon Boom in all their “infinite wisdom” took these claims at face value and started striking multiple episodes.

With the main channel posting Disventure Camp (Odd Nation Cartoons) being set to sadly shut down in 7 days, it’ll mean Disventure Camp’s gonna lose a good chunk of the revenue needed to help continue the show, the budget for the current season will have to be halved, and a bunch of collaborators’ contracts will have to be terminated.

They’ve recently set up 2 new channels, that’ll be the home for the four main seasons of DC (including the new one that’s been posting new episodes as of November 30th) and the spinoff respectively.

So yeah, long story short is that a indie webseries is getting unfairly strikes thanks to a fuckass ex-employee.

And the reason I’m bringing all this up is because I love this series and what it has to offer

As someone that’s watched BFDI & Inanimate Insanity for most of their life, animated reality shows aren’t anything new to me. But what makes Disventure Camp different from those two shows is that 1) The characters aren’t sentient objects, and are actual humans in the vain of Total Drama, & 2) There is a lot of LGBTQ+ representation within the show.

Like, I have a drafted post that essentially boils down to me rambling about all of it as somewhat of a love letter to the show. But I genuinely think the LGBT representation in the show is great considering how most of couples in the show are same-sex & have healthy communication, there’s transmasc, transfem, and non-binary representation through characters like Aiden, Natalia, & Tristan respectively, and most of the LGBTQ+ characters come from varying nationalities.

Heck, the co-creators (Jared Madrigal & Robert Casetellanos) are actually married to each other irl, and the two characters that are based off of them are canonically together. That’s really wholesome :D

I’m a huge sucker for canon LGBTQ+ representation & relationships so this series is a comfort show to me with how much it offers, and it really saddens me to see that it’s been going on hard times.

So yeah! Go watch Disventure Camp to help support it ‘cause it really needs it right now! And don’t ask about why some of the thumbnails look kinda sus :D

[imagionationstation]

Okay, so…

As I was in the mist of ✨emotions✨, my explanation skills were barely sub-par, and I gave a lot of people misconceptions to my thoughts on the episode “A China Town Ghoststory”.

So let’s try and fix that.

The episode itself is okay as a fill-in ep that doesn’t have anything to do with the season plot-wise, though it’s existence didn’t really seem necessary, other than an early acknowledgment that ‘impossible spiritual powers do exist so be ready’, which set me up to accept explanations on the unexplained and impossible, like Vision Quest and Leo’s Healing Hands.

Spiritual insanity simply exists. There’s no more to it than that.

And I appreciate that they introduced it without a clichè, “by the way they suddenly have magic as a big plot-point even tho it hasn’t existed at all until now! Why? Oh, I dunno, it’s in their blood or something I guess.”

We got a casual introduction by a villain that only ever comes up once more in all five seasons. Respect. 3/4 out of five stars.

The one aspect that always boils my blood when it comes to this episode, however, is the fight scene between Donnie and his brothers. The first time I saw this episode, I did not understand how they went from trying to kill Donnie, to- Oh, look, let’s go get some pizza! (As my new-to-turtles mind interpreted it).

I was extremely confused, and continued to be confused for the next few watches. Then, at one point while doing research, I saw the scene from Donnie’s eyes, and not from the eyes of a viewer. And I was even more mortified by what I saw.

The way this scene plays out really feels like (note: I’m saying ‘feels like’ and not ‘definitely is’) the brothers were choosing pizza over Donnie. The episode was kinda insulting, the way they go through this whole insane battle, throw him out of a tornado, and then just… Go bicker over pizza? Really?

It makes sense when you lay it all out. The brothers are acting as brainwashed guard-dogs. Donnie is a danger to what they’re guarding. The only way for Ho Chan to keep control is for the brothers to not recognize who it is they’re hurting. The spell makes them see him as a danger, and they don’t fully comprehend that they’re about to end a brother’s life while serving an evil sorcerer.

There’s nothing dangerous or threatening about pizza. It’s something they love, and something they’ve been known to bicker about. If the brothers are in there subconsciously fighting back, it would make sense that they would give into the urge to go after the pizza pies and stop serving their ‘master’. Use the brainwashed aggression to fight over pizzas, or assault the brother who wants to help the captives that you’re guarding. Easy choice.

No matter how you look at it (whether they have some control or they have zero control), it would make sense that they’d go after the pizzas.

Still.

Still.

This must be horrific to witness from Donnie’s POV. Super-powered brothers all banning together to fight you to the death, and every instinct in your being is like “well, I can’t kill them!”- so you’re forced on defense the entire time. One wrong move and you’re dead, and it’ll be at their hands- and it doesn’t really look like they’re fighting back. They’re hurting and chucking and attacking you, seemingly willing to kill you without a second thought, and it’s like they don’t even care-

And for this big brain boy and his canon insecurities, Donnie is going to be overthinking this one moment way more than he should be for a long time.

The way that he still hasn’t picked himself off the ground when Casey reaches his side, and then has to lift him up to snap him out of a shocked stupor- well, that says something to me.

I feel like this episode could have and should have played out differently, but I know many people wouldn’t agree.

To summarize:

…..

I KNOW IT’S A CARTOON AND SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY AND ALL

I REALLY DO

BUT FROM A REAL PERSPECTIVE THIS IS TERRIBLE

WHY THE WRITERS HAVE TO JERK AROUND HIS EMOTIONS LIKE THAT, HMM?! 🥺

My rewrite of this scene is here

[cyclogenesis]

life update, sry for absence, you will literally not believe the breadth and depth of fuckery I have been facing down these last few weeks including the last insane 24 hours

Cannot overstate how obscenely ridiculous things have gotten for me. I thought I felt Seasonal Affective Disorder looming at the turn of September to October but I think now it was just a sense of general foreboding. 

So I’m trying to truck along these last few weeks, sad as hell about my beloved cat, and then for the third time this year I have to find a new psychiatrist. I take Adderall for my ADHD, I have for six+ years, I see telehealth providers for monthly five minute appointments to be like yes I still need Adderall please send the prescription thanks. Walgreens causes a problem too fucking stupid to get into with psych #1 this year, I go out of my way to explicitly confirm this same problem won’t crop up with psych #2. No it’ll be fine he says. He was wrong, because he apparently didn’t know what he was talking about, and instead of looking into it for clarification he just said meaningless words to shut me up. 

The problem crops up again. We try three different pharmacies to try and get around it. Doesn’t work. I have to find a new psychiatrist. Again. Takes weeks. I finally find a place where god willing this dumb issue will not crop up again. I get an appointment for last Friday morning. Yay!!!! I decide to start seeing a new therapist too since one was on offer and I was feeling rough. (Last Thursday I said yes to the appointment. This is when I was already having a hard time.)

I see this new psych. He tells me that he’s going to hold the Adderall prescription hostage until I get an EKG and also a bunch of lab tests done. He watches me visibly wilt like a flower trapped in a bell jar. Fine. I go to Quest Diagnostics like he told me to. I get there at 10:30am and I’m #10 on the standby list. At 12:30pm I’m still #10 on the standby list and the nurse comes out and tells us all basically there’s no chance. I pay $6 for parking and leave having wasted two hours and six dollars. 

Fine. I make an appointment for Tuesday, the soonest I could get. (Great, that won’t already be a stressful day!) I find an urgent care place as suggested for the EKG. It’s a mile and a half away. I walk there. I wait an hour and forty minutes before a nurse comes to take my vitals. Because I didn’t expect to be waiting in the exam room for so long I’d taken my jacket off and then got too lazy to get back up and get it even though the AC had inexplicably kicked on. Because of this, and because anxiety makes my extremities go numb, my hands were so cold she had to take multiple pulse oximeter readings. “I’m a vampire,” I joked. “I’m actually dating a vampire,” the nurse said. She explained her boyfriend is Bela Lugosi’s grandson. Los Angeles: lmao. From outside as my eventual results are shared with the doctor I hear, “How is she awake??” 

I put my jacket back on as I wait for the doctor. I lie down. I stick my hands in my pockets. I try to think relaxing thoughts, going to my happy place: earlier this year, the beach at Cannes, walking ankle deep in the Mediterranean. I run through entire Sarah McLachlan songs in my head. By the time the doctor comes in for the EKG I’m feeling very chill. 

Too chill. The doctor has a ridiculously hard time getting a good reading. I’m lying there in an open front paper gown, topless, hooked up to this machine with wires coming off me like a desktop computer running Windows 96. She keeps having to move the little sticker things. We’ve been having a good time since she had to pull out the footrests and keep pulling. “I’m 5’11,” I told her. “I was always mad I didn’t hit six feet.”

“You should just lie,” she said, “How would they know?” I love her. Going forward I will lie. Doctor’s orders! 

I joke that given my previous case of corpse fingers with the pulse oximeter that I’m just a ghost and that’s the issue. She points out that it’s the Day of the Dead. I tell her I tried to haunt my family but their shrines sucked and nobody did the cool skull makeup so I decided to come fuck with some doctors. She laughs. I laugh. We continue to joke around. I love it. All I ever want to do is make people laugh. 

On the third try she finally gets a decent EKG reading though she’s iffy that she may need to do a fourth. Nope, this one is fine. I get to leave. I arrange to have the results faxed to my new psych. “Wait, is my heart okay? Haha,” I say to the receptionist. She passes me a copy of the results and tells me to talk to my doctor. 

It’s all fun and games until I’m walking out at 7:10pm on a Friday night into the cold dark evening with a 1.5 mile walk in front of me and abnormal EKG results that say “possible left atrial enlargement” and “abnormal right axis deviation” and “incomplete right bundle branch block” and “consistent with pulmonary disease”.

Oh. Um. Well. Okay. 

Googling all this leads to results that are scary and not in the “I googled my hangnail and WebMD says I have fingernail cancer” way, more in the there’s actually only so many things all of this together can mean and also the words “consistent with pulmonary disease” are in fact right there in black ink sort of way. Lots of stuff about the very increased likelihood of heart attacks. You hate to see that!!!!

In retrospect maybe it has been weird that I’ve been so aware of my heartbeat all the time lately. Maybe it hasn’t just been caffeine and stress. Well, I’ll call my GP first thing Monday and beg for an appointment ASAP, obviously. In the meantime I’ll try not to freak out. I’ll try to avoid additional stress. 

But, you know, I’ve been meaning to call my grandmother anyway. I still haven’t told her about Klaus. Our relationship has been shaky these last few years since I became estranged from my parents in 2021 after they went QAnon and decided that believing Facebook memes was more important than their relationship with their only child (me!!) and she got mad at me for standing up to them ever. Also she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in July so that’s been rough. But I figure she should be in the loop. 

I get ahold of her last night. I tell her there’s stuff going on with me, but she should tell me what’s up with her first. I await news of who triumphed in this week’s game of Yahtzee with her cousin and whether or not the Warriors or whatever sports team she’s keeping up with right now are winning. 

“Well, I wasn’t going to tell you because I know you don’t really care what’s going on with them, but your mom’s moved in with me because your parents are getting a divorce,” she says. 

First I explain, again, as she knows, because she was there, that they are the ones that rejected me. I remind her that my mom got in touch last Thanksgiving saying she missed me and wanted to see me and that I said I felt the same, we just needed to have a serious talk first. I remind her that my mom completely fucking ghosted me after that and has not tried to get in touch since. Even unfriended me on Facebook. Been almost a year now. My parents’ entire relationship with me is less important than their unwillingness to have even one single solitary fucking grown-up conversation. This is a fact. 

And then I’m like, also what???????????????

So apparently my dad (stepdad actually, but he married my mom when I was seven and he’s the only person I’ve ever called Dad) told my mom they should move back to the Central Valley. He said they should sell their house in Sacramento and she should quit her job up there and try to find a new one in Fresno. They sell their house and use the extra to pay off debts, because they are morons who have always lived paycheck to paycheck no matter how big or small those paychecks are. 

Mom asks Grammy if she can move in with her in Fresno while she looks for a new job. Grammy says no. Mom moves in her friend Diane, who was widowed after her idiot MAGA antivaxxer husband got Covid (which he didn’t believe in) and ended up getting an entire lung transplant and then dying anyway. Mom gets a job in Fresno but she doesn’t like it so she quits. 

My stepdad meanwhile has a one bedroom apartment in Sacramento and is still working at his job up there. He puts a bunch of their stuff in storage in Fresno in anticipation of the move. My mom goes up to visit and they celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary. Everything’s fine. 

A week later he calls and says he’s divorcing her. She can keep all the stuff that’s in storage in Fresno. This apparently comes out of nowhere, though not for him I guess (lol?). 

Diane’s landlord finds out my mom’s living there and threatens to evict them due to the unauthorized tenant. Mom has to move in with Grammy. 

And that’s what you missed on Glee!!!!!!!!!

With that out of the way, I tell Grammy my cat died and also I likely have some kind of lung disease and my heart’s maybe fucked. I tell her luckily lol I’m starting therapy again and she says she doesn’t understand that and that she gets depressed sometimes and then she gets over it. She tells me I should get a job because she knows I don’t make enough from my shop. I explain that I’m trying to avoid stress right now because it could very literally give me an actual genuine fucking heart attack. She continues to be a dick because instead of using any of her 85 years of life on this planet to try to become emotionally healthy she has chosen again and again to just lash out when she’s upset and never grow as a person in any capacity whatsoever. I am grateful again that I’m able to take her and my parents as examples of what I don’t want to be. I am far more patient with her than she deserves and we part on decent terms. 

I immediately proceed to storytime this bitch out with the besties. Everyone’s like “What?????” and I’m like “I know!!!!!”

The funniest part is that the parental estrangement was due largely to my mom just fully choosing my stepdad over me, her only child. Which like wasn’t even a surprise really, as she had told me once in a childish and unexpected outburst of anger that she didn’t have a choice but to have me. (Sure she did. She just buried her head in the sand until it was too late.) So it made sense that it would be my stepdad. He was the one she felt she got to choose. Also, she is an asshole.

Hope she feels great now about making that call, lmao!!! How’d that one work out queen?? No husband, no daughter, 62 years old moved back in with your mom who didn’t even want you there, huh? Yikes!!

So anyway, my GP’s office opens in twenty minutes, please cross your fingers for me that I’ll be able to schedule an appointment sometime before my heart bursts out of my chest like the alien in Alien and then dons a tophat and tapdances away from this clusterfuck, an action for which I would not blame it tbh. (Edit: They don't have any appointments until April [what?!] but they have walk-in hours thrice a week. I will get there at 10am Wednesday morning and hopefully they will see me.) New therapist appointment is at 12:30pm, best of luck to her with this goddamned Pandora’s box of bullshit that I’m about to unleash on her. 

Gonna try to relax in the meantime as I am at this moment very aware of the consistent thumping of the tell-tale thing inside my chest. Wish me luck!

[planet-crait]

The website I’m watching for episode 3 does not have the intro, I am devastated. There are some theme songs I get not always wanting to listen to but this one is such a good one. This episode Clocks in at 11 minutes so it seems they’ll be sitting around there for the season. It’ll be interesting to see how they work with the shorter episode format in episodes moving forward.

I do like how the show continues the thread of Hazel struggling as the new kid and struggling to find her place and make friends. It’s realistic and as someone who was a new kid, I relate. Also I feel in my soul not knowing a popular trend others do and the sheer panic that comes with it. It just feels so real to me. So I do appreciate the writers including this stuff in the show so far.

Side note, why would everyone have to repeat the year if everyone doesn’t pass? Thats uh that’s a little insane to me. I feel bad for anyone who did work hard and should be able to move on being stuck because on kid is struggling.

Hazel connecting with her teacher was cute and is relatable. Sometimes new kids can’t connect peers, and connect with teachers easier. I know the moment passes quickly but I love the advice her teacher gives about finding her people. It is so real especially for neurodivergent people or people classified as “weird” knowing you don’t have to fit in with the main crowds and you’ll eventually find your people is advice I really could have used when I first moved and was struggling and it rings true still today. It’s better to just be yourself and find your people rather than trying to stuff yourself into a box you don’t really fit in.

Hazel not quite getting what Mr. Guzman (how do you spell his name?) was trying to tell her and thinks the teachers are her people when they really just aren’t was a really good and realistic moment. Kids want to think they’re way more mature then they are all the time especially when being outcast by their peers so it works and is very believable. And the magic math moment was kind of funny even if it’s never had to happen before it’s silly and fun.

We see Hazel go into the teachers lounge and while the teachers are immediately asking her to join them, the principal wasn’t affected because she’s not Hazels teacher, it’s a nice reminder that Hazel needs to be specific with her wishes. Also had to laugh at Hazel not wanting to befriend the principle because she’s too mean and instead makes the teachers lounge okay for students to be in. It’s funny and works well to ensure the stakes remain so the plot can move along.

The principle pushing so hard on maintaining the best score being “everyone passes” is insane to me. I went to a school that was the top school and even it had people fail. Maybe other states have schools where no one fails (I really doubt it) but this also is probably just a point simplified down to help raise the stakes later on in the episode.

I need to rewatch the original show to see if Timmy so blatantly talks to Cosmo and Wanda in front of people but with this framing it really stands out as odd since the principle is watching Hazel so closely right now. Either way the principle drops it for now as the shenanigans with the teachers start. I feel so bad for the kids panicking about the tests, the principle absolutely sucks and is going some absolute bullshit to these kids. I suppose it wouldn’t be a kids show if some person of authority didn’t absolutely suck. But still I’m impressed with the kids trying to study so they can pass. When I was a kid I would have been the only one trying as everyone else screwed around.

We also get our first fourth wall break moment, I wonder if we’ll see a lot of it or if it’ll be a little more rare. Either way it’s a funny moment and the montage is fun so it works for the episode. Having the principle not be affected I think was likely the only way Hazel would realize her wish was an issue and needed to be undone so I’m not annoyed about that, I don’t love how over the top she is about it, but we needed something to remind Hazel the teachers needed to, well teach. In the end the over the top behavior is likely due to it being simplified for a kids show to make the lesson stick so I can’t hate it too much.

Hazel finally getting the point when Wanda points out she’s not mature enough for adults was pretty funny. Though I have to wonder why the teachers had to constantly regress in maturity vs being set to the correct maturity level is something I don’t quite get. Though if this is my only real gripe with the episode I think that’s a win.

Somehow against all odds everyone manages to pass, I guess this week was just supposed to be review vs new content like when I was in school? Again not exactly realistic but I get simplifying this stuff for the show. Is that paperweight going to come back and haunt us? It looks pissed lolz 😂. But I am glad Hazel is starting to make friends and find her people. I’m excited to see their dynamic and how it plays out moving forward. The trio of Cosmo Wanda and Hazel is fun but having some friends to mix things up I think will be a big benefit.

I didn’t mention it in my episode two review but looking back, I do like how the writers allow Hazel to have anxiety about things under stress, she forgets things and overthinks and it feels very human and relatable and I appreciate the writers allowing Hazel to feel so human by letting her not be perfect. It’s a nice touch and I think it’s really why I’m enjoying Hazels character so much. It’s less she has this big fatal flaw as her only issue but has small imperfections that help sell her as a real kid.

Overall I think episode 3 has much tighter writing then episode 2 and they were able to work with the 11 minute time well with this premise. Onto episode 4!