#new lara croft is FINE

[arnold-layne]

male gamers that complain that a female protagonist is “not beautiful enough” should be launched into the sun methinks

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

I also just wanna take a moment to appreciate the way Stjepan Šejić writes the Gotham City Sirens, particularly in how he utilizes BDSM. Because first off, he is so right, Selina would be a BDSM aficionado. Girl wears a leather suit and carries a whip and her boyfriend wears a spandex bat mask. That's her gimp lmao.

But also, it's such a unique and interesting lense to view them through. I particularly like the way he uses it to peak into Harley's psyche. It's just such a unique way to view the abuse. Harleen is all about the sexual nature of their relationship and how he pushes through and creates/fills a hole in her psyche no-one else can. It's just a simple addition to the already existing toxic addiction many abusive relationships have, yet it feels like it changes everything about this dynamic. He has a mini-comic, which you can find at eyesfullofscars' post here. I highly recommend reading it real quick. It's good and also you'll know what I'm talking about.

It's called Submissive, and the general plot is that Ivy goes to Selina to get advice on how to save Harley and she's told she needs to replace Joker in Harley's mind until she can get over him. And it's just such a crazy unique way of looking at it. Like it answers a lot of questions that didn't really need answers and just adds an extra level of depth to the characters and topic. And he has a lot of good utilizations of both dry and outright comedy.

Also, he's just, like, an actually good BDSM author. The damage E.L. James did to bondage fiction is so frustrating, it's so nice to read the works of someone who actually knows what they're talking about and can make it good, sexy, and just straight up cool and interesting. I have not yet read Sunstone, but I've heard from peers that it's pretty good so take that as you will.

[traveler-at-heart]

The Doctor's In - Part 3

Summary: Wanda gets a little jealous and you're in trooouublee.

Wanda Maximoff x F!R, Carol Danvers x F!R.

A/N: Part 1 & 2 are recent, so you can find them on my blog. Sorry I'm tired and lazy to link them. Will do that later lol.

Coffee in an IV, that’s what you need. However, drinking it is the next best thing so you get one from the cafeteria and give the other cup to Darcy, who’s yawning in one of the stretchers that people leave in the hallway.

“Bless you”

You hum in acknowledgment, sitting next to her.

“Duty or booty?” she asks when your phone pings.

“Ha, good one. You should do stand up” you say, ignoring her.

“So, it is a booty call” Darcy insists when you begin typing, a smile on your face.

“It’s not. My neighbour was telling me something about her children. You remember them, the Maximoffs”

“The broken arm?” you nod, sipping from your cup. “Ok, so now you text her about her children? To get into her pants?”

“No! Not everything is about sex, Darcy”

“If you really think about it, it kinda is. And you still haven’t told me why she’s texting you”

“I took care of the twins the other day, when she went out on a blind date. With a man” you give her a pointed look. “And I showed them a videogame I loved when I was kid, and apparently helped to create a new obsession”

“Which one? Lara Croft?”

“Spyro”

“The purple dragon? You are such a dork” she says, scrunching up her face. You roll your eyes, ready to give her the middle finger when her pager goes off.

“Karma” you cough up and she glares.

“This conversation is not over!” she threatens, leaving you alone.

You look at the chat with Wanda.

Wanda: They both want to be Spyro for Halloween!

Y/N: Sounds cute! They could have a little Sparks floating around on their shoulder.

Wanda: It’s all they talk about every day, I swear I’m dreaming about dragons.

Y/N: Sorry?

Y/N: I do have a plan to make it up to you.

—

You’re done with the coffee, at least if you want to get some rest. Still, you pick up a latte and a scone for Wanda, and carry the new videogame as you knock on the woman’s door.

“Oh, hi!” she looks at you, confused.

“Hey. Sorry, I don’t know how you take your coffee. It’s a latte, dairy free” you hand over the cup and the scone. “And I have something for the twins”

“That’s so sweet, but they’re at school”

“Today’s not Saturday?” you say, confused. Wanda giggles at that, making you blush.

“Today is Tuesday. Come on in”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’m sorry” you say, following her to the kitchen.

“I don’t have to be at work for another hour, so it’s fine” she assures you. “Plus you saved me a trip to the coffee shop”

“You know, I’ve never asked about what you do for a living” you say apologetically, only now realising that you’ve barely interacted with Wanda since you moved here.

“I’m an author and illustrator” she says.

“That’s so cool! Anything I’ve read?”

“Only if you like children’s books” the woman smiles.

“Can’t say that I have read any lately. But that’s awesome. I’m a little starstruck, I’ve never met a writer before”

Wanda laughs at that, and you blush a little.

“Oh, before I forget. Maybe this will distract them from dragons” you hand over the new videogame and Wanda arches an eyebrow.

“The solution to a videogame is another videogame?” she says with her mom voice.

“Uh… yes? It’s Crash. It’s really funny. Sorry, it was dumb, forget it” you begin to regret it, reaching for the box, but Wanda does the same thing, her hand landing on yours.

“I’m kidding. It’s very sweet of you, Y/N”

The way she says your name is almost hypnotic, and once again your eyes travel to her lips.

For the first time, you’re willing to admit that it wasn’t the alcohol that made you wanna kiss Wanda.

Still, your hands are touching and you want to lean forward.

Your phone interrupts the moment, and you apologize, thinking it might be from the hospital.

Carol: I’m outside your house :)

What?

“Work?” Wanda says when you frown.

“I’m not sure… I should get home. Sorry”

“I’ll walk you out. If you want to come by for dinner and show the boys the new game, you’re more than welcomed” she offers.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. I’ll text you later” you promise, waving the woman goodbye.

Carol is leaning against her motorcycle, and she does a double take when you walk out of the house across the street.

“Did I get the wrong house?”

“No” you laugh. “I was at my neighbour’s, I got something for her kids”

“That’s very thoughtful” Carol holds your hand, and you try not to blush at the sudden contact.

“So, what’s up?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to come to my place tonight. I’ll cook something nice, we’ll have a lot of sex and you won’t have to hold back those pretty moans of yours”

“Such a romantic, Danvers” you roll your eyes, but smile nonetheless. “I’m in”

“Alright. See you tonight” Carol says, kissing you. That’s another thing that takes you by surprise, and you don’t know what’s gotten into her.

Walking inside your home, you open the fridge and it doesn’t hit you until you see Billy’s drawing.

You told Wanda you’d be there for dinner.

Crap.

It feels cheap to cancel over what is esentially a -very tempting- booty call, but you’re also aware that you might be thinking too much of yourself. The truth is, Wanda probably doesn’t give a crap about whether or not her workaholic neighbour comes to dinner.

A few hours later, when you’re still thinking of a way to politely reschedule, you get a text from Wanda.

Wanda: I forgot we had a thing with friends from school. Maybe some other time?

Y/N: Yeah, no worries!

You try to ignore the disappointment you feel over not seeing Wanda again, focusing on the night ahead.

Here were the facts:

Wanda dated men, obviously.

Darcy would kick your ass if she even suspected you had a crush on your straight neighbour.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s what is happening.

—

“I hope you like parmesan chicken” Carol says, as you look around her apartment. The decoration is very modern and you admire the collection of books she has. You’re more of an online article person, but right now you’re reconsidering your stance.

“Smells great” you comment, opening the bottle of white wine you brought. You hop on her kitchen counter, watching as she finishes the food.

“So, what did your neighbours say about that thing you got them?”

“I don’t know, they were at school, but maybe I’ll stop by tomorrow”

Or maybe not, considering you’re developing a crush on their beautiful mother.

“I didn’t know you liked kids so much” she comments and you shrug your shoulders.

“I mean, I’m ok with kids, but these two are really sweet and nice. One of them was at the hospital recently, he broke his arm”

“Really? And how come I didn’t hear of it?” Carol raises her eyebrows, always on top of everything that happens at her department.

“Relax, Ortho Goddess. I drove them there and took care of everything, your intern just helped with the cast” you take a sip of your wine. “I don’t even know if you were at the hospital”

“So, no dad?”

You shrug your shoulders, a bit impatient. You were hoping to push Wanda out of your mind, and Carol kept on bringing her up.

“I’m not sure what happened, if there’s a father in the picture or not… but enough about this. How’s the grant application?”

“It’s hell. But I’m glad Kamala is so committed, I’d go nuts without her”

“Must be nice, to have an intern like that” you say, thinking about the rotation of doctors you get. They’re helpful, but none of them stay long enough to understand the logistics of an ER.

“No more chat about work” Carol proclaims and you laugh.

“Oh, what else can we talk about?“

“You’re right. Maybe we shouldn’t talk at all”  she pretends to think about it, standing between your legs. Your laugh is cut off by her lips on yours, moving impatiently until you let her explore your mouth with her tongue.

“Food’s gonna get cold”

“We’ll heat it up” Carol says, pulling your legs around her waist and carrying you across the apartment. “Let me show you the bedroom”

“We’re skipping the rest of the tour?”

“No, we’re definitely having sex in the shower” Carol says, making you laugh.

As her kissing becomes frantic, and you lose yourself in the feeling of skin against skin, for a brief moment, you forget those green eyes and auburn hair.

—

The rest of the week goes by in a blur. An accident in the highway keeps you locked in the hospital for 48 hours straight, and all you can manage is sleep and shower between surgeries.

You get to be for eight hours at home before returning for a day and a half shift. The only thing in your mind as you finally get in the car is working out, because you’ve seen horrible situations for the past four days and need to be so exhausted that you’ll pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow.

You go out in a sports bra and shorts, hoping the exercise helps with all the stress. After a good thirty minutes, you return home, sweating and panting.

You turn to the garden hose to pour some water on your face and neck, when you hear someone cursing and something falling.

“You ok?” you run to Wanda, trying to get her garbage can back up.

“Yeah, thanks” she says, looking anywhere but you. “Busy lately?”

“God, you have no idea” you sigh, crossing your arms. “Heard about that crash in the highway? We had like twelve people come in”

“That’s horrible” Wanda says, finally looking at you.

“It’s the job I guess. How are you? And the twins? Did they like the game?”

“Oh, they actually haven’t had…”

You hear a motorcycle pulling up and have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. What’s Carol’s game? The blonde eyes you, and you want to smack that smug grin off her face.

“Sorry, you were saying” you ignore her, turning back to Wanda.

“It’s not important, I have to get back and make dinner” she says, saying goodbye as fast as possible. You turn back home, feeling dejected.

“Was I interrupting?” Carol asks.

“Is that supposed to mean something?”

“I don’t think you notice the way she’s looking at you, Y/N” she insists as you both step inside your house.

“Wanda? Don’t be ridiculous, she’s just my neighbour”

Your perfect, funny, beautiful neighbour who has her life together and no time to entertain a workaholic like you.

“And last time I checked, we weren’t exclusive” you add.

“Why are you trying to pick a fight with me?” she smiles, cornering you against the wall.

“Because, I don’t know what’s up with you, having me over and then showing up out of the blue. It’s very… couple-y”

“Is that so?” she leans forward, her lips barely touching yours.

“Y-yes”

“Maybe I just had a bad week, and I know for a fact you did too. So we can take a bath together, have some pizza and then fuck each other’s brains out”

This time, her lips do actually meet yours and inspite of everything, you give into the kiss.

“Unless you wanna invite your neighbour over to join us, which I’m definitely not against”

“Ugh, you’re such an ass” you break apart, rolling your eyes and going upstairs, laughing with Carol as she follows you eagerly.

—

They’ll have to move. That’s the only way to escape.

Wanda closes the door, leaning against it, hoping that the image of you, walking in those sinful clothes disappears from her mind.

Of course she had to make a fool of herself, dropping the garbage and attracting your attention.

If only she had gone out earlier, Wanda could have saved herself the trouble of witnessing that mysterious woman, who was very obviously your girlfriend, looking at you like you were an entire meal.

What if she moves in with you? What if Wanda has to see you everyday, kissing the blonde goodbye or hanging around or…?

“Mom” Tommy calls for her, and she has to pull herself together.

“Yes, sweetheart” she forces a smile, looking at her son.

“What are we having for dinner?”

“Well, I was thinking some mac and cheese”

And then, she’ll drown her sorrows in a bottle of cheap wine. Hopefully she’ll dream of you, sweaty and having your way with Wanda.

—

There’s an unfamiliar weight as you wake up, and as you turn, you look at Carol’s disheveled state.

“Blanket thief” you accuse.

“Shhh”

“Gotta pee”

“No, five more minutes” she pleads, nuzzling against your neck.

“What? Too tired after last night?” you taunt, remembering how she seemed to be insatiable and only stopped when you were too sensitive.

“Well, yeah. I rocked your world. Where’s my reward?”

“I can offer you coffee and scrambled eggs”

“Your fridge was empty, remember?”

“Oh. In that case, coffee and breakfast somewhere nice”

“Deal” she kisses your shoulder, moving to get her clothes.

“I can’t believe we have to be back in three hours” you complain, stretching. The sheet falls, leaving your entire body in full display.

“Maybe we can have something else for breakfast” Carol says, pulling you back down.

After another hour, you finally go down the stairs. You’re arguing over taking her motorcycle or your car when you hear voices outside.

Billy and Tommy are looking curiously at the motorcycle, touching the handle.

“Hey, kiddos” you greet, and they turn around, scared at being caught.

“Wanna get on it?” Carol offers and they nod excitedly.

Carol is busy showing them how it works when the front door opens, Wanda calling for the twins.

“You know you can’t leave the house like that. I am so sorry” she turns to you, but Carol is the one who answers.

“It’s no problem, really”

Wanda gives the blonde a tight smile.

“Come on, let’s get back inside”

“Oh, how long has he had the cast?” Carol says.

“Like a year” Billy says and you laugh, ruffling his hair.

“3 weeks?” you turn to Wanda.

“It’s actually 4. I meant to ask you when is he supposed to get it off”

“Come by the hospital and we’ll take a look. Children’s bones heal faster” Carol says, and it’s very obvious now that she’s inserting herself in the conversation so Wanda acknowledges she’s with you.

“Sure. I’ll text Y/N later”

“Great. I’ll make time to personally check Billy, did I get it right?” Carol turns to the kid and he nods.

“Well, Y/N has been his doctor, so I don’t think that’s necessary” Wanda pushes back, crossing her arms. All you do is look between them.

“Oh, we can both check it out if it makes you more comfortable, after all I am the head of Orthopedic Surgery”

“I thought you didn’t date other surgeons” Wanda turns, and you can finally get a glimpse of how scary she must be when one of the twins disobbeys her. She’s smiling, but her eyes tell a different story.

“I… well…” you mumble like an idiot.

“Time to go, or we won’t eat breakfast. Come on, I’m starving after last night” Carol takes your hand, pulling you away from Wanda.

You’d rather be doing an enema on a patient than witnessing this weird tug-a-war they have going on.

“Come on, boys” Wanda takes them back home, and Carol waves innocently at her.

“Seriously?” you say, ripping out the extra helmet from her hands.

“What? I was just messing with her. Come on, princess. Hold on tight”

Carol revs the engine loudly, leaving your driveway with a smile on her face.

She has the better sense to drop the subject during breakfast, picking out a small diner close to the hospital.

On the other hand, you are unable to stop thinking about everything that happened and, against your better judgement, do something that you’ll clearly regret.

You tell Darcy.

“Wait, wait, wait!” she says, holding her sides. “Your situationship and the MILF next door were fighting over you?”

“It’s not funny” you say, resisting the urge to choke her with her stethoscope.

“It so is. Girl, you gotta pick a struggle”

“You’re useless” you complain.

“No, ok, hear me out” she takes a deep breath, wiping away the tears and looking at you. “So, on one hand, you have a thing with Danvers. Do you really think she got over Rambeau already?”

“Of course not! Which is why I was fine with it being just sex. She’s the one who started doing other weird, couple stuff”

You weren’t an idiot; Carol and Maria had been together for years, and engaged until Maria left to work with Doctors Without Borders. Thought you didn’t know why they split up, it was fairly obvious that they were too proud to talk it out, but they still loved each other.

“Exactly. So, let’s say you start seeing Danvers more seriously, and then Maria comes back. You’re…”

“Fucked” you nod along, starting to understand Darcy’s point.

“On the other hand, you have the hot mom. According to you, she dates men. We have no clue if the father of her children is dead, missing, crazy… Maybe he'll come back eventually”

“And I’m fucked again” you rub your eyes, frustrated. “All I wanted was a way to destress. This is the exact opposite”

“I guess you’re very charming” Darcy shrugs her shoulders, and you’re about to thank her when she adds. “Or stupid”

In spite of everything, her words hold some truth. As you see patients and take care of the ER, you think of a way to fix everything.

Then, your phone pings and dread invades you.

Wanda: We’re in the foyer.

Fuck it, you’ll make sure you get to them before Carol and send them home before they get into another weird ass argument.

You run to find the Maximoffs, taking Billy to get an X-Ray.

“It’s urgent” you tell the technician.

But Carol is three steps ahead of you, because she asked to be informed of any patients that came to get X-Rays over cast removals.

So, by the time you and Billy come back, Wanda and Tommy are in the room, while Carol confirms Billy’s arm is completely healed.

“Hey, thank you for getting that X-Ray” Carol says with a smile and you curse to yourself.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Come on, kiddo, let’s get your arm back” you bring him to the bed, where Kamala prepares to do the removal. Carol forgets her little feud with Wanda for a moment, reminding her resident how to do the procedure.

“Is that a saw?” Wanda says, pale.

“Yes, I know it looks scary but it’s perfectly safe, I promise” you say, holding on to her arm. She looks at you, nodding and you smile, letting your hand drop to her back, rubbing slowly to calm her down. Wanda leans into the touch, her shoulders relaxing.

It’s so easy, to reach out for her.

Carol doesn’t miss the contact, but keeps on observing as Kamala cuts the cast.

Billy moves his arm tentatively.

“It might be weird at first. Try to take it easy the first few days” you say and Billy nods, keeping the cast with all stickers and drawings from his friends.

“That’s pretty much it” Carol says, removing her gloves. “If you have any questions…”

“I’ll call Y/N. Thank you” Wanda cuts off.

“Mom, we should celebrate!” Billy says. “Can Y/N come over?”

“That would be fun…” you begin to say.

“Oh, sweetheart. Y/N is very busy” Wanda speaks over you. She’s not even looking your way and you hate to admit it, it kinda hurts.

“No more running down the stairs, buddy” you say, opening the door for them. The three walk out, Tommy and Billy waving goodbye.

Carol goes after you the minute you leave the room.

“What the hell was that?”

“Excuse me?”

“The touching and the love eyes” she insists.

“You’re the one that made it weird to begin with, Carol” you say, feeling a headache approaching.

“Well, yeah. We have this thing going on and you act like you’re in love with someone else”

“Now hold on” you stop in the middle of the hallway, pointing a finger to her chest. “You and I agreed it was just sex. We don’t talk about the massive elephant in the room because frankly, it’s none of my business. But be honest. If Maria came back right now, would you not to want to be with her?”

Carol takes a step back. This is the first time you’ve seen her speechless.

“I don’t know. Maybe. If she came back, I… she would come first. But that’s just hypothetical”

“No, it isn’t. Because she is right there, Carol”

You point behind her, watching as Maria Rambeau, former head of Pediatric Surgery is talking to Chief Fury.

Carol turns her head so fast you’re shocked she didn’t snap something.

The look of adoration, longing and sorrow in her eyes tells you everything you need to know.

“Go” you smile, squeezing her arm. “You should always go after what you want, Danvers”

She nods, still too shocked to move.

You’ll let them have their reunion in private and will use the rest of your shift to mope about Wanda.

“Go home” Fury says when you stick around long after your shift. “Sorry about Danvers”

“Sir, you knew?”

“I know everything” he shrugs his shoulders and you can’t help but smile.

Of course, Carol drove you here so you take a cab home, which is fine. You’re too tired and distracted to drive anyway.

Truth is, you’re not sad about Carol. The only thing you can think about is Wanda and how she left without so much as a look in your direction.

“This the place?” the driver says and you snap out of it, handing him the money and some extra. “Sweet, thanks. Have a good night”

“You too, man”

After a shower, and eating pizza leftovers, you’re still thinking about Wanda. As you sip from your beer, and look at the tv without paying attention, someone knocks at the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Wanda”

You jump from the couch, spilling some of the beer on your pants.

“Sorry, if it’s a bad time I’ll come back later”

“No, wait” you run to the door, opening and looking ashamed. “I spilled beer on myself. I seem to do that a lot when you’re around”

“I should have texted, I’m sorry”

“No, you can come over whenever you want. Is everything ok, are you ok?”

“Well, no” she runs her hands through her hair, and starts ranting. “I came to apologize, I was so rude to you, and I have absolutely no right to be. You have been nothing but nice, helpful and kind and I… I was a total bitch”

“Hey, hey, stop it” you take her hand, pulling her inside. “Wanda, it’s fine, I get it. I’m not mad at you”

“You have every right to be” Wanda insists, and you can see she’s spiraling, so you pull her against you, hugging her.

“I’m here. Not going anywhere”, you say against her shoulder. You only let go when you feel Wanda’s breathing going back to normal. You take a step back, your hands dropping to her waist. “Want some pizza and beer?”

“Uh… that sounds good, yeah. Can we sit on your kitchen? That way I can look out the window, just in case the twins wake up”

“Yeah, come on” you take her hand, closing the door as she enters your place.

You stay silent as you warm a slice of pizza and get another beer for you, offering her a bottle.

“I don’t think I’ve drank beer since college” she says, smiling.

“Only fancy wine?” you joke, taking a seat next to her.

“Not even that these days. Listen… I really am sorry and though it may not seem like it, I’m happy for you and Doctor Danvers”

“Oh, that’s not a thing” you interrupt her.

“Was it something I did?” she says, looking mortified.

“No, it was just… uh, never serious. I think she might be fixing things with her ex so that’s the end” you explain, removing the label of your bottle.

“Are you ok?” Wanda reaches for your hand and you blush.

Yeah, I’m ok because you’re here now.

“I am, it wasn’t serious. Honestly, it was just sex”

“Oh” Wanda blushes, and removes her hand from yours, taking a large gulp of her beer.

“I mean, we all have needs, wouldn’t you agree?” you tease, leaning forward as if you’re telling her a secret.

“I suppose so, yeah” Wanda gets lost in your eyes, hoping you close the distance.

And you want to, you really do, but Wanda gave you a hard time and you might make her sweat a little before giving in.

So, you lean back on your chair, smiling mischeviously at the other woman.

“How’s Billy? Happy to be cast free?”

“Yeah, he’s excited about getting to play that dragon game you gave them from the start”

“I guess Crash wasn’t good enough to replace Spyro” you say, understanding the twins. You always had a soft spot for the latter.

“Actually… I didn’t give them the other game” Wanda admits, chewing her lip nervously.

“Why?”

“To be honest, I wanted you to give it to them so I could… I don’t know, have an excuse to see you again”

As Wanda admits her reasoning, red invades her cheeks. Your heart skips a beat at the sweet admission, and you stand up, walking to where she’s sitting.

“You don’t ever need an excuse to talk to me”

“No?” she says, fidgeting wih her bottle.

“You can text me, call me, fax me, page me. I’ll give you my email so you have that option as well” you say, making Wanda laugh.

“I just don’t know what to talk about sometimes, I get nervous”

“Well, we could talk about the weather, how inflation is crazy high… you could tell me about the Scarlet Witch”

“You looked up one of my books?” Wanda says, blushing.

“Yeah, I have it, ready to get an autograph from the author herself”

Wanda blushes even more at that, chewing on her bottom lip. You take another teeny, tiny step towards her, eyes going to her lips.

“Or, we could not talk. There’s plenty one can do without verbal communication. Like bird watching”

“Crossword puzzles” Wanda jokes, following along.

“Kissing” you say, leaning forward until you’re inches apart. You let her decide if she wants to close the distance, and Wanda does, her lips tentatively moving against yours.

She tastes like vanilla and you sigh against her mouth, pulling her close to you.

It’s everything you imagined and more, her pretty sighs spurring you on until your hands go down her sides, and to her waist.

At the movement, Wanda breaks the kiss, making you whine.

“Is this… do you want this to be just sex?”

“You deserve more than that”

Yes, the thought of Wanda naked, moaning your name make you weak in the knees, but you also want to bring her coffee and have lunch together.

“So, does that mean…?”

“Go out on a date with me” you blurt out, trying to catch your breath.

“Yes” she nods, pulling you in for another kiss. This time, you’re not so sure you’ll be able to resist the urge of worshipping her body right in the middle of your kitchen, for all the nighbourhood to watch. “I should go”

“You only just got here” you complain, kissing down her neck.

“And if I stay, you won’t get your beauty sleep”

“Sleep is overrated” you mumble, biting down her neck playfully.

“Ok!” she holds back a moan, jumping as if your touch burns her.

“Did I hurt you?” you say, worried.

“No, it wasn’t pain that I felt” Wanda admits, turning red.

“I’ll behave” you raise your hands and Wanda steps back, not sure that she believes you. “How about next Thursday?”

“That can work, yeah. Let me just check with the nanny”

She walks to the door, lips slightly swollen.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you before that, though”

“Right, because I live across the street”

“And I might need to borrow some sugar” you joke, leaning forward to open the door, trapping Wanda’s body. “Or other stuff”

“I should go”

“You sure?”

“Yes” the woman nods, biting down her lip. Still, she pecks your lips one last time, and takes advantage of how flustered you get to walk out the door.

“Text me when you’re home” you joke, making her giggle. Still, you don’t get inside until she opens her own door, waving at you one last time.

You take your phone, reading a lenghty text from Carol saying she was really sorry about everything. And then another one comes in.

Wanda: I’m home.

Y/N: Come back.

Wanda: I wish.

Wanda: Night, Y/N

Y/N: Night, Wands.

[ch-4-eri]

First Time? — Lara Croft.

Lara X fem!reader

warnings: virginity taking, smut, fingering, pet names, lara being such a heartthrob. (proofread but sorry for any mistakes.)

anon request.

i finally finished writing this oooo, sorry i rushed the ending.

you were getting ready on the floor of your bedroom, your phone lighting up with a new text message from your girlfriend, Lara.

she promised she’d take you for a walk around town now that you have a break from college exams, random quizzes and all that.

you were very grateful she’s understanding, she did go to university herself, even if she was over five years older than you.

you dabbed some blusher on the apples of your cheeks with the mirror in front of you, then took a hold of your phone to remind her you’ll be there soon, you wouldn’t be late.

it was hours later as you begged Lara to sit down, your legs gave out from the walking you’d already done, sweat breaking out from your forehead.

“jeez, honey.. you’ve got the stamina of a baby.” she said, taking a seat next to you, opening her bottle of water to give you a sip, wiping your sweaty forehead with her palm, then wiped it over her shirt, you liked how Lara didn’t care much for such stuff, like getting your sweat on her clothes.

“drink up.” lara broke you out of your thoughts as you opened your mouth and took a sip from her bottle, lara fixed you up a little, patting down the flying out hairs off your scalp and the side of your face, grabbing a tissue to wipe your cheeks, she’s often motherly with you, at some point you did find it weird but now? you didn’t mind it one bit.

you liked how she took care of you without asking for anything in return.

as she allowed you another sip from her bottle you smiled and chugged it down your dry throat. “are you okay? damn, i’m afraid you’ll pass out on me.” Lara scoffed, smoothing down your shirt.

“i’m fine, sorry.” you finally chuckled, you had no idea why you were so lost in thought that day, you couldn’t help but think.

maybe what had you this hazed up is the thought of lara intimately the other night, and you forced yourself to sleep so you don’t have to think much of it.

Lara knew she had to take it slow as you were much younger than her, and she didn’t want to jump into anything that would make you uncomfortable, she’s so sensitive about the fact that she could do anything that would hurt you, or make you uncomfortable around her, so she hoped you’d initiate it first… until then she’s gonna wait, she’d wait forever for you.

but you? you couldn’t initiate shit, you were a nerve wreck, so damn awkward, maybe you were even slightly self conscious, Lara had no idea you were a virgin, she thought you had a wild past, considering you were in your early twenties, it’s valid for people this age to do so much and you didn’t wanna confirm nor deny things, so you kept quiet.

every time you tried to initiate something, you were worried you didn’t shave, or didn’t shower, you probably smelt bad, you’d just stand there like a fool and forget all about it, idea tossed to the side.

you brain was your worst enemy, and it didn’t help that Lara was one of the prettiest women you could ever be with, you can’t imagine being inexperienced with her, or doing something stupid or looking ugly in such a special moment.

Lara walked you home that day, then you insisted she spends the night, only because it would be fun… right?

Lara on the other hand didn’t think of it that way, she was so sure you’d finally initiate something, she felt so excited she couldn’t breathe at all.

as you opened the door to your bedroom, Lara walked in. just trying to act normal, for now.

she looked at your room, your bed, it was a single bed.. damn.

Lara cleared her throat and went through your books on the shelf, impressed by the variety of collections you had, small figurines she found adorable as you flushed in embarrassment, she was never in your bedroom, it felt nice to have her here though.

she finally took a seat on your bed then, stretching out on your single bed she’d definitely tease you for later.

“pretty room, never imagined your room to be this… singular though.” she giggled, leaning on her knees with a smirk, her brown eyes searching through yours, making your cheek flush a pink shade Lara adored.

“i… yeah..” you blushed.

“don’t be shy, singular beds can be nice too.” Lara said, kicking her boots off as she flopped down the bed, not having space much for you if she were to ever stay the night in your bed like this, she looked amazing on your bed, you couldn’t help but stare as a feeling pooled through you, your cheeks getting redder than before.

you were playing with the hem of your shirt as thoughts rolled around your head, listening to her breathe, her figure resting on your bed like that.

it was so tempting.

you wanted her.

every fibre of your being was aching for her, for her touch, but you couldn’t, you were so scared.

as your thoughts ate away at you, Lara caught on, she always knew, she just hated to pressure you.

she called your name, causing you to look into her warm brown eyes that looked yellow from certain angles and lightings.

“what’s wrong? you’ve been lost in that pretty head of yours all day.” Lara sat up on your bed, her hand taking yours as she placed a soft kiss to your knuckles.

you gulped, you’re gonna say it.

you’re gonna admit it, both the fact that you were a virgin, and the fact that you’ve been craving her for months.

you bit down your slightly chapped lip, turning on your bed to face her, there goes nothing.

it’s better than drowning in these thoughts and feelings, you have to be honest with her, it’s a commitment to do so and you were so committed to Lara.

there’s nothing wrong with being honest about your lack of experience; you knew Lara isn’t shallow and close minded.

you rubbed the side of your head as your breathing caught in your throat, your words choked, you needed to pull yourself together.

Lara took a hold of your chin with her free hand as she leaned her head closer to yours, seeking out your expressions, wanting to understand you and understand your feelings. Lara knew you were too hard on yourself sometimes and barely let it out.

she waited, squeezing your chin softly in her rough fingers.

“i’m..” you finally started, one step at a time.

“Lara i’m… um..” you paused, your tongue tied and your palms so sweaty.

“you’re what, honey?” Lara softly muttered, her fingers still placed underneath your chin, her other hand rubbing your thigh in comfort.

“a… virgin.” you whispered, your gaze averted, refusing to keep eye contact, your embarrassment was bad enough as it is, you can’t imagine how she’d look at you as your thoughts ate away every ounce of common sense you could have had over this.

Lara forced your chin upwards, your gaze falling back into hers.

“and that’s a problem, how?” Lara mumbled, leaning closer to you, the tip of her nose brushing against yours. “tell me.. how’s that a problem?” she asked, her fingers tightening against your chin.

“it’s.. n—not..” you breathed, unable to say anything, she made your brain a mush of mess, unable to think straight.

as if anything about her would make you straight.

Lara's lips made contact with your jaw, her hand on your thigh reached all the way up to hold your hip, pulling you closer.

“that’s right.. i’d get to be the first one to touch you, the only one who touches you…” she mumbled into your soft skin, she’d die doing this and she’d be the happiest woman ever.

“i wanna taste you so bad.” Lara moaned into your neck, bringing you by the waist on top of her, lying down on your small bed.

“Lara.. wait please.” you supported yourself on the bed, your hands on either side of her head as you stared down at your older girlfriend, her hands holding your waist.

“shh… it’s okay.” she cooed, placing soft kisses on your cheek. “i know… we don’t have to do anything, i just wanted you to be certain that i’d never judge you, never belittle you… so what if you've never had sex before?” Lara reassured you, her hand stroking your cheek softly, the pad of her thumb resting on your cheekbone.

“doesn’t make me like you any less, you’re still my girl.”

she smiled, nudging your nose with hers, her other hand gripping your waist in a comforting expression.

“is it… bad to say that i wanna do it with you?” you mumbled, staring at her brown eyes as she was beneath you, giving you the opportunity to be this close to her, her freckles like constellations, her scent so enticing and her warmth inviting, your lips found themselves on the corner of her mouth, feeling her hands on your lower back.

“not bad… i want the same thing, love.” her thick accent rang in your ears, her calloused fingers touching the inside of your shirt, the pad of her thumbs stroking every inch she can come across. your head dipped to the crook of her neck, her perfume even stronger as your nerves burned with desire.

this is the first time you’ve ever been this close to a girl, your lips attached to the soft skin of her neck, her moans echoing through the walls of the bedroom making your untouched pussy throb at the way she writhed and squirmed in your damned small bed.

Lara gripped your hips as she guided your hips closer to hers, “let me take this off.” she whispered, undoing your jeans, her fingers soft and tender.

you helped her take off the garment, Lara knew she can’t fuck up your first time in any way, so she got up from the bed and picked you up around her waist to place you down so she’s on top, your hands buried themselves into her soft hair, bringing your lips to her neck as Lara tugged at your waist, holding back her moans.

your legs were on either side of her, Lara felt so damn dizzy at the sight of your legs spreading for her, she knew you were ready, that you wanted it.

she couldn’t wait to stretch your virgin pussy.

“easy there baby..” Lara moaned, pushing you down the bed by the hips, her fingers moving to slide your panties down your legs, her breath caught over the sight of your pussy, you were so wet… such a virgin, Lara thought.

“oh my..” Lara breathed, bringing her pointer and middle finger to spread your folds, rubbing them into you as you closed your eyes and let her touch you just like how badly you wanted her to. “so pretty…” Lara smiled, rubbing her index finger against your clit, watching you drip.

“such a good girl..” Lara praised you as her wrist flicked and she pumped her index and ring finger into you gently, she made sure you didn’t get hurt, knowing no one’s ever touched you like that before, but oh how proud she felt, it was honour to take your virginity like that, and she was glad you picked her.

“does that hurt?” Lara asked, sticking her fingers into your hole briefly, seeking out your reaction, your body tensed and breath caught in your throat. “no..” was all you said as Lara pushed her fingers slowly just a bit further inside. waiting to see if you’re in any pain before she fucked her fingers into you.

you were so wet, and your muscles relaxed, you enjoyed this beyond words and Lara was so thankful you felt comfortable with her, her lips found your cheek as she slowly fingered you, listening to your soft moans and soft breaths, you were breathtaking.

“so beautiful..” Lara mumbled, smiling at the sight of you like this, it wasn’t long before you gently rocked your hips to match her pace. “don’t hurt yourself baby… let me do the work.” she cooed, holding your hip to keep you from doing anything that will cause you pain.

“need you deeper..” you whispered, Lara complied and moved her fingers deeper, only slowly and with so much caution, you were so tight. only wet enough to let her fingers get sucked inside of you with her movement calculated. “more…” you whined, making Lara smack her lips.

she couldn’t add another finger, that’s pushing it.. especially for a first time. the only moved her other hand to rub at your clit, her fingers buried inside of you just going faster. “that good..?” lara breathed.

“yeah… yeah, fuck fuck..” you moaned, your hips rocking along with lara’s movements, she couldn’t stop you now, she wanted you to cum on her fingers. “fuck!” you mewled out, squirming.

“cum for me baby..” lara rasped, both hands working on your tight sweet pussy, rubbing and thrusting. she leaned in and pressed a kiss to your neck, making you arch your back and rock your hips further into her thick fingers.

Lara slowed her pace just a bit as she saw you coming undone all over her, and all over your bed, mewling and crying into the pillow, she figured your first orgasm would be intense, so she let you ride it out then she pulled out her fingers gently.

she looked at how much you’ve gushed down her fingers and she couldn’t help but shove them in her mouth, licking it clean while rubbing a hand over your stomach to comfort you. “it’s okay baby.” she says, leaning down to press a sticky kiss to your cheek, laying down beside you to hold and comfort you. her arms wrapped around you securely, pulling a blanket over you both as you’re squished on your small bed.

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Breaking my silence

I have defended Survivor Lara against the unbearable Core fans, and I still insist that she is a fine iteration of the character and she has her place in the series...

...but...

I think it's very important that, moving forward, her characterisation returns to her 2006-2008 era iteration.

Keep the new character model (get rid of her disgusting messy hair though) with the realistic proportions and musculature, but other than that:

~Bring back Keeley Hawes as the voice actress. She's been voicing the character the longest but other than that she has also given the definitive performance of the character. She is the perfect embodiment of a seasoned adventurer type of Lara and can give the character a huge array of emotions, from anger, to joy, to sorrow and even fear

~LAU Lara had a more detailed backstory than Core's Lara and a personal stake in her reasoning for adventuring but was still very much actively enjoying what she does. Survivor Lara, so far, has only been tomb raiding as a means to an end and looks visibly tired and traumatised each time. It was perfectly fine in the first Survivor game but this is no longer needed. She's been through hell and back, it's now the best time for her to be cynical, sarcastic, to throw out one liners and jokes and have a powerful demeanour. LAU Lara, even when cornered or outmatched, is still in control of the situation and appears mostly unphased. Relatable, next-door-type-of-girl Lara was not bad, but she also, really, doesn't need to be that 😅 She's been raised as a countess, she owns three manor houses in the English countryside, she's anything but relatable to your average person and that's fine. Playing as characters you can relate with in video games is nice and characters like that are perfectly valid and have a place in gaming, but for a game like Tomb Raider, playing as a sassy, strong, intelligent badass that cracks jokes at the face of danger is, to me personally, much more fun and empowering.

~LAU Lara is the perfect middle ground between Core's Classic Lara and Crystal's survivor Lara, and even the games themselves are kind of in the middle of the classic PS1 formula and the set-piece and combat heavy formula of the latest trilogy. It's the best "return to form" to avoid alienating fans of both eras.

~No more bow. Seriously. This is very important. Lara should have already had her pistols back by Rise. The bow was perfectly fine and made sense in TR13 but was extremely stupid beyond that. I honestly don't even want it as a secondary weapon. Give her back her pistols and have a shotgun, assault rifle and SMGs as alternate weapons. That's all she needs. Keep the jade pendant and the climbing axe(s) for Survivor rep, but the bow needs to go. It doesn't fit. The pants staying instead of shorts and ponytail instead of braid would be fine by me too tbh, but I know Core purists are gonna cry a lot about it so... Yeah...

~Last but not least, remaster LAU with all the extra costumes from the PSP versions of Legend and Anniversary, the extra Wii Croft Manor room from Anniversary, the 360 DLC for Underworld, and the Temple of Osiris model for all three games, which if you didn't know is a mix of Underworld and Rise Lara, so, already Unified Lara. Also add in more classic outfits such as the TR2 Bomber Jacket or TRIII Nevada, maybe even her Rise Syria tanktop outfit too as unlockables.

[viktere]

⸤ 🩸 ⸣ ⸻ 𝒗𝒊𝒌𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔, an independent and private multimuse. ft canon and original characters from different medias, with a focus on original characters. dark themes will appear, proceed with caution. by kiki, she + her, twenty8+. activity is permanently sporadic to low.

carrd, atlas, prompts, board. blogroll, @klaeus, @elenaes, @raqeful. sideblogs, @sunaed. muse spotlight, river, eris, nimue, cassie, varina.

before interacting.

i am mutuals only, please respect that. do not interact if you're under 18, 21+ preferred.

basic etiquette and human decency please: no weird or gross behaviors, and be respectful.

while triggering topics will appear and be tagged, keep taboo subjects away from me. (r.ape/non-con, p.edophilia, i.ncest, etc.)

banned: i.an somerhalder and a recast klaus. exceptions can be made for multis that have a tag for them i can block.

mutuals are welcome to tag me in anything ever, send in countless memes whenever, message me at any time and request my d.iscord. basically if we're mutuals, "bug" me whenever and however you want 🤍

my formatting is simple, and i'm fine with icons, iconless, gif icons or gifs. answered asks can always be treated as a starter, feel free to rb them or start a new post to create a thread!

accessibility: lmk at any time if you need me to adjust anything for your comfort, it won't bother me at all. on my end, it would be super helpful if you don't use tiny icons or courier new font with me.

shipping and dynamics of all kinds are my lifeblood, so lmk at any time if you're interested in shipping with me.

there will be a heavy focus on my original characters, with canons taking a backseat by default. please do not try to interact with only my male muses.

originals.

amarande floresca, pureblood vampire, gemma arterton, primary.

aspasia, the dark urge / seldarine drow druid, tbd, primary.

aspyn verona, hunter, denise richards, secondary.

aurora provenza, black market doctor, danielle rose russell, moved to @shemad.

booker darcy, hunter / half demon, chris evans, primary.

briar kesta, reincarnation of aphrodite, danielle campbell, primary.

callan wisteria, private investigator, dylan o'brien, primary.

cassiopeia claremont, reincarnation of the goddess of the stars, claire holt, primary.

christian byrne, hunter, ethan peck, primary.

eris floresca, pureblood vampire, crystal reed, primary.

fern roque, serial killer of abusive men, bruna marquezine, secondary.

julieta cardenas, ghost hunter / streamer, lizeth selene, secondary.

luminita, gifted vampire, demet özdemir, secondary.

magdalena primrose, mortician / exorcist, alexandra daddario, primary.

mi-cha yeong, storm chaser, kim ji-won, test / wip.

mikhail floresca, pureblood vampire, douglas booth, primary.

naizak, archangel oc, kim jae-wook, tertiary.

nimue, ancient forest witch / shapeshifter, megan fox, primary.

opal undergrove, witch, yaya dacosta, secondary.

rhysand eoin ó cuilinn, vampire, chace crawford, primary.

river mihal, werewolf, alina kovalenko, secondary.

severina, white eyed demon oc, adria arjona, secondary.

sila prakenskii, mobster, tor thanapob, moved to @raqeful.

varina leucothea, siren princess, dakota johnson, primary.

canons.

caius, twilight, regé-jean page, secondary.

connor, dbh, bryan dechart, test.

damon salvatore, tvdu, giancarlo commare, secondary.

edward cullen, twilight, robert pattinson, secondary.

emmett cullen, twilight, michael evans behling, primary.

esme cullen, twilight, carla gugino, secondary.

isabella swan, twilight, antonia gentry, primary.

jack ryan, bioshock, jensen ackles, test.

lara croft, tomb raider, yaya sperbund, primary.

sam winchester, supernatural, jared padalecki, primary.

stefan salvatore, tvdu, paul wesley, secondary.

subject delta, bioshock 2, mads mikkelsen, test.

[vikteres]

⸤ 🩸 ⸣ ⸻ 𝒗𝒊𝒌𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔, an independent and private multimuse ft original and canon characters from different medias. dark themes will appear, proceed with caution. by kiki, she + her, twenty8+. activity is permanently sporadic to low. this is a sideblog.

carrd, atlas, prompts, board. blogroll, klaeus, @elenva. follows will come from @klaeus. affiliated with @salvatoraes, @cairoes. muse spotlight, aurora, lara, river, eris, nimue, cassie, varina.

before interacting.

i am mutuals only, please respect that. do not interact if you're under 18, 21+ preferred.

basic etiquette and human decency please: no weird or gross behaviors, and be respectful.

while triggering topics will appear and be tagged, keep taboo subjects away from me. (r.ape/non-con, p.edophilia, i.ncest, etc.)

banned: i.an somerhalder and a recast klaus. exceptions can be made for multis that have a tag for them i can block.

mutuals are welcome to tag me in anything ever, send in countless memes whenever, message me at any time and request my d.iscord. basically if we're mutuals, "bug" me whenever and however you want 🤍

my formatting is simple, and i'm fine with icons, iconless, gif icons or gifs. answered asks can always be treated as a starter, feel free to rb them or start a new post to create a thread!

accessibility: lmk at any time if you need me to adjust anything for your comfort, it won't bother me at all. on my end, it would be super helpful if you don't use tiny icons, all caps, or courier new font with me.

shipping and dynamics of all kinds are my lifeblood, so lmk at any time if you're interested in shipping with me.

there will be a heavy focus on my original characters, with canons taking a backseat by default. please do not try to interact with only my male muses.

originals.

alessandro de luca, vampire, taylor zakhar perez, primary.

amarande floresca, pureblood vampire, gemma arterton, primary.

aspasia, the dark urge / seldarine drow druid, tbd, primary.

aspyn verona, hunter, denise richards, secondary.

aurora provenza, black market doctor, danielle rose russell, primary.

booker darcy, hunter / half demon, chris evans, primary.

briar kesta, reincarnation of aphrodite, holliday grainger, primary.

callan wisteria, private investigator, jacob elordi, primary.

cassiopeia claremont, reincarnation of the goddess of the stars, claire holt, primary.

christian byrne, hunter, ethan peck, secondary.

eris floresca, pureblood vampire, crystal reed, primary.

fern roque, serial killer of abusive men, bruna marquezine, tertiary.

julieta cardenas, ghost hunter / streamer, lizeth selene, secondary.

luminita, gifted vampire, demet özdemir, secondary.

magdalena primrose, mortician / exorcist, alexandra daddario, primary.

mi-cha yeong, storm chaser, kim ji-won, tertiary.

mikhail floresca, pureblood vampire, douglas booth, primary.

naizak, archangel oc, kim jae-wook, tertiary.

nimue, ancient forest witch / shapeshifter, megan fox, primary.

opal undergrove, witch, yaya dacosta, secondary.

rhysand eoin ó cuilinn, vampire, chace crawford, primary.

river mihal, werewolf, mariangela bonanni, primary.

severina, white eyed demon oc, adria arjona, secondary.

sila prakenskii, mobster, tor thanapob, primary.

varina leucothea, siren princess, dakota johnson, primary.

canons.

caius, twilight, regé-jean page, secondary.

connor, dbh, bryan dechart, test.

damon salvatore, tvdu, giancarlo commare, secondary.

edward cullen, twilight, robert pattinson, secondary.

emmett cullen, twilight, michael evans behling, primary.

esme cullen, twilight, rachel weisz, secondary.

isabella swan, twilight, antonia gentry, primary.

jack ryan, bioshock, jensen ackles, test.

lara croft, tomb raider, yaya sperbund, primary.

sam winchester, supernatural, jared padalecki, primary.

silas, tvdu, paul wesley, test.

stefan salvatore, tvdu, paul wesley, secondary.

subject delta, bioshock 2, mads mikkelsen, test.

tom avery, tvdu, paul wesley, test.

[blazehedgehog]

What do you think of the Horizon series?

I'm sure they're fine. They sound fun. They look fun. But there's also this weird vibe where they are maybe the most "Here is a shrine we built to spending a lot of money."

There's this sense that Horizon games kind of "fake" being important. They fall in to a specific archetype of open world game but never really set any standards or really evolve the genre or have much lasting impact beyond the standard six month release window.

Like, I'm still seeing people sharing Breath of the Wild videos of crazy things they pull off in that game. They never stopped. That game came out in 2017 and regardless of how close or far away the sequel was, people have always been buzzing about Breath of the Wild.

Same might be true Elden Ring. That game's over a year old and people are still doing weird things with it. It still has a presence.

I mean, heck, people are still doing wild things in GTA5, and that game is like a decade old!

Neither of the two Horizon games have that kind of presence. They came out, the mainstream said "yea that's good" and then moved on. Nobody in my purview is like "yeah guys I really love Horizon Zero Dawn so let's start a weird gimmick run where I try something new."

Which is fine. Games don't always have to shake the pillars of heaven. You can just be a regular old " good game" and that's okay.

But Aloy gets treated like this big important ambassador of a titanic Sony game franchise. I remember when Fortnite started doing game crossovers, we got Master Chief, Kratos, Lara Croft, Ryu and Chun-li, and then the next big character was... Aloy.

Who, at the time, only had one game to her name. And Fortnite was putting her in the "Gaming Legends" series next to people with decades of success behind them.

And now, y'know, there's a Genshin Impact crossover, there's all this merch, and she's on the cover of Vanity Fair... and it's like, really? For Horizon? The robot dinosaur game?

Like I said, I'm sure they're good games. I'm not doubting that. But they're not industry defining. They're not really risk taking. But they're being treated that way, when I have a hard time seeing Horizon being this timeless, eternal franchise with much staying power past, say, a third game.

It'd be like if Fortnite added, I dunno, Cole from inFamous as a "gaming legend." Like, in 2023, you're like "Who? Why?"

Horizon's popularity feels forced to some degree just because they throw a lot of money at it, but if it wasn't for that, it wouldn't get nearly as much hype or merchandise. And it's weird to realize that.

I have no immediate desire to play either of them.

[cinewhore]

To the Ends of the Earth (1)

Pairing: Lara Croft & Marcus Pike (Tomb Raider AU)

Rating: Mature

warnings: mentions of postpartum depression (not in full detail). All clean otherwise. 

Summary: After obtaining a seemingly normal piece of art from a flea market, Marcus Pike enlists the help of an old friend in tracking down its origins. They both get more than they bargain for. 

A/N: an repost. I really have some bangers stored in my google docs. I obviously love putting Marcus Pike into situations. Credit to the gif maker. Divider by @saradika​

Lara tightens the straps on her tact vest, keeping her breathing steady. She had easily become outnumbered and the enemy was moving in quickly.

“Lara, what’s your position?” Alex’s voice crackles over her earpiece. She looks over her right shoulder, scanning the empty garden for any signs of movement, to which she found none.

“I’m behind the shed.”

Alex clicks his tongue. “Not a good place to be, you’ve got to get out of there.”

Lara keeps her weapon close to her chest, counting in her head before making a dash across the yard.

“How many are there?”

“Hm...I’m counting five.”

Lara shakes her head. “That can’t be right.”

“You want to do my job?” Alex sasses her, a cocky grin plastered onto his face. Lara ignores him, continuing her stealth mission to get to safety. Everything started out just fine but somewhere along the lines it became more hectic. In order for Lara to succeed, she was going to need to keep a level head.

Settling behind a tree, Lara tenses as she hears the familiar sounds of footsteps trailing her. They were coming from all around her, she cusses herself silently. The bastard was right. It was do or die.

Lara takes a deep breath and shoots out from behind the large trunk, gun held confidently in her hand. Five were aimed right back at her.

“We've got you surrounded, you know.” One voice says matter of factly.

“Five to one. I like those odds.” she smirks, tilting her head.

“On my count, I say we blast her!”

Lara tuts. “Oh come now, that’s not necessary…”

They don’t care, raising their weapons in unison. The leader yells out. “On my mark,”

Lara shifts in her stance, nervousness setting in.

“Get set...GO!”

Lara screams out as she gets drenched with water, firing back in one last chance of self defense. As her attackers pile on her, she falls to their advances.

“Oliver! Tessa! Please put the toys away and leave your aunt Lara alone.”

Ginny calls the kids over, letting them know it was time to eat. The children snicker and roar in success, hollering out their victories. They all scamper over, eager to stuff their faces with pizza. Marcus kisses Ginny once and leaves her to regulate the festivities along with Hillary.

Lara waltzes over, admiring the scene. She shakes some water off of her, splashing Marcus lightly. “It seems like yesterday they were teething and biting everything.”

Marcus chuckles, swirling around the beer in his bottle. “Well, we still have one more to go.”

Right on cue, the tiny infant strapped to his chest gurgles, kicking her feet around freely. Lara leans over and runs a finger along the baby’s cheek, garnering a laugh.

“You think Ginny would be up for more?”

Marcus smiles bashfully, a certain fondness in his eyes as he watches his wife handle the kids with ease. “We’ve talked about it but this last one was a bit hard. I haven’t mentioned it but she’s been dealing with postpartum depression with Ava.”

Lara hums. She enjoyed watching Ginny and Marcus grow together, remembering the days where Marcus would go on and on about how much he liked his real estate agent until Lara prompted him to make a move. He wasn’t as confident as he was before the disaster with Teresa took place and it definitely took some reassurance that Marcus was more than capable of asking Ginny out before he actually did.

Ginny was helping Marcus look for a new house since the one he agreed on with Teresa had fallen through. Small banter turned into flirtatious conversations which led to dinner dates. Lara had to admit that she didn’t see him being with someone like Ginny, a bubbly real estate agent who was also a micro lifestyle influencer on instagram. They completed each other.

A year after meeting, they got married and discovered during their honeymoon that they were expecting. What was meant to be one addition to the newly formed Pike family became two, the doctors were unsure exactly how they managed to miss the second baby for so long. You could never miss them now, as loud and rambunctious as they are.

The twins were a handful but Marcus enjoyed becoming a father. Lara was appointed as the favorite aunt who spoiled them tremendously, sending them many gifts from her travels. Marcus later asked her to be the godmother of his children, knowing that if anything should happen to him or Ginny that she would do everything in her power to make sure that they were taken care of.

Ava wasn’t planned but she was happily welcomed nonetheless. It was then Marcus decided that he was done with work and retired early, settling on becoming a full time stay at home dad while Ginny continued to work. Their schedules worked out perfectly, allowing them both to be home for extended periods of time to enjoy the kids.

“When are you going to give our kids some playmates?” Marcus teases, bumping shoulders with Lara.

“Over my dead body.” she snorts, side eyeing her friend. “These three are more than enough for me. Besides, you forget that I take care of Alex as well.”

“He still living in a trailer on the lot?”

“Of course.”

Ava cries out, rubbing her eyes with her fists.

“Uh oh, looks like someone might be a little sleepy.”

Lara observes Marcus as he sways gently, attempting to put the fussy baby to sleep. “If you want, you can put her down in the library. It’ll keep her out of the heat and I can stay in and watch her.”

“That sounds great, I’ll grab her bag from Ginny and meet you inside.”

Lara looks up from her desk as Marcus enters the room, the baby bag colliding with his leg as he walks. Ava remains strapped to his chest and he moves in a calculated manner in order to lay out her sleeping pad.

She smiles softly to herself, gazing on as Marcus makes sure Ava is comfortable before leaving her side.

“You’re a good dad.” Lara muses. Marcus blushes, nodding to Ava.

“She makes it easy.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

He shrugs. Lara raises an eyebrow, returning her attention back to some documents Hilary left on her desk neatly. Mostly having to do with the estate, maintenance, the likes. Boring stuff.

Marcus clears his throat, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. “While we’re here, I got something you might like.”

“Oh?”

“Mhmm, I found this at the flea market the other weekend. I wasn’t looking for much but this caught my eye as I was walking by a vendor. The young man selling it didn’t speak much English, he did manage to tell me that he was tasked to clean out his great-great grandfather's attic and found this. Figured it could be worth something.”

Marcus hands Lara the phone and she holds it close to her face, brows drawing in tightly as her eyes scan across the screen.

It was a large artwork, piece of an epitaph, that was covered in detailed work. There were many scenes within the one piece, many stories unfolding for the world to see.

“It looks to be from the 15th century, missing the other two panels. I contacted a few folks down at the office but we weren’t able to find who the artist was.” Marcus grabs the phone from Lara, looking at it again. “Looks...Dutch. That’s a gut feeling.”

Lara chews on her bottom lip, deep in thought. In a flurry, she glides over to a particular bookcase, fingers roaming along the spines until it stops. She brings the book back over to her desk, pushing the papers out of the way to make extra room.

She flips through it quietly, landing on a particular page. “Marcus, how would you feel if I told you that what you just showed me has been missing for thousands of years?”

Marcus sighs. “Well for twenty two bucks it sure as hell didn’t feel missing to me.”

Lara flips the book over, showing him the page she has bookmarked. “It is the epitaph of the old gods. An ancient relic that protected the Umrah people for centuries. It is said to hold valuable secrets, texts from the hidden world, and so on.”

“So..it’s magic?” Marcus muses. Lara scoffs.

“History.” She takes a second. “It is something my father has been obsessed with his entire life. He thought that the Umrah held the key to a portal, a portal which he could use to discover where my mother went.”

Marcus grows quiet, contemplating on what to say. “Lara, you know-”

She holds up a hand to stop him. “It’s ok. You don’t need to explain anything to me.”

“Do you really believe in this?” He points at the images in the book.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Hillary bursts into the room, feet squelching across the tiled floor. He was soaked from head to toe but still remained professional. “Miss Croft, you have guests arriving.”

“Christ, Hillary, you’re soaked.”

“I was put up for execution.” he says plainly.

“Guests?” Marcus looks to Lara. “It’s a bit late for extra guests.”

“They are not here for the party, I’m afraid. At least, I don’t think parents escort their children to a birthday party in a three car all black SUV convoy.”

Lara smiles. Hillary knows this smile all too well. “Well, Marc, shall we move this party inside?”

He nods.

Hillary hums, turning on his wet heel to leave but stops midway. “Oh, and Mrs. Pike wanted to relay the message to you about the water guns.”

“That is?”

“They’re fucking despicable.”

Marcus barks out a laugh. “Attagirl.”

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Top 5 video games 👀

ohhhhhh gosh! this kind of thing is hard because there are so many games. so many genres. so many... Eras? like there are games from my childhood that i love and miss and also there are games from now?

so i'm gonna list a lot of my faves, in not particular order!

Kingdom Hearts 2- instant nostalgia even thinking about this game makes me wanna cry. TWT

Sonic Heroes- the most fun game ever. i got my ps2 working last summer and played it again with jess and it was a blast TWT (i wish they'd remaster it but also i don't wanna pay for a new version bc my old one is Fine!)

Fortnite- it's just FUN alright? i love killing bitches. :))

TS4- unfortunately i like build mode and CAS mode more than actually playing. and cc shopping... that's so fun

Spyro- i didn't get to play spyro till a few years ago but it's really fun!

GTAV- it's been years since i touched it but i really liked driving around and shooting the shit out of the npcs. the story mode?? no idea how i felt about that. but buying a rocket launcher, shooting a bunch of people and climbing onto a tall building to shoot helicopters down? FUN :)

Rise of the Tomb Raider- this is the 2nd of the most recent trilogy i think??? i also enjoyed the 1st! but the third sucked :') (to me anyway) i love lara croft. she's so... ough... oh there was One good part of the third game that gave me goosebumps but the gameplay wasn't as good to me??

Breath of the Wild- I never finished it. but goddamn it was so pretty and fun.

Sdv- i haven't touched it in forever but i really enjoyed it when i did!

Anch- i played animal crossing every day for almost 2 years. and then i finally stopped because it had just become a tedious boring thing. i really would like to start a new island but... my island TWT can't do it uhhhhhhh if i keep going this'll get so long it'll be Annoying, but i love a lot of different games! :) ty for asking TWT <3

[omniversalobservations]

PowerWash Simulator (2023)

When Lara Croft is off exploring the deepest darkest dungeons and jungles, she can’t bother with the day-to day tedium of household chores, like mopping the floors or cleaning the windows. That’s fine by me, but it seems like her estate has gotten pretty filthy. The good news is a new crossover between the cleaning game PowerWash Simulator and Tomb Raider will give you the almost impossible task of cleaning her sprawling manor.

On Jan. 31, PowerWash Simulator is coming to PlayStation 4 and PlayStation 5. To celebrate the launch, the game will be getting its first free special pack, which will add Lara Croft’s Manor as a playable level to the game. A trailer announcing the new content shows the building filled with eccentric set pieces like a towering dinosaur sculpture, ancient Egyptian artifacts, and other museum fixtures collected throughout the adventurer’s exploits.

In case you haven’t heard of it, PowerWash Simulator is literally just a game where you use a pressure washer to shoot, fire, and clean surfaces. It’s genuinely one of the best and calmest first-person shooters of 2022. And it looks like this new update will add a solid handful of new items to clean in the game — the trailer showed an interior home area, the facade of the home, a garden-like area, and even an additional vehicle.

Of course, this is all just talking circles around the elephant in the room: How did Lara Croft’s estate get so dirty to begin with?

Source: Polygon

(images via YouTube)

[dolphs-world]

Ideal Roster

There's a few ways to answer this question. The issue most often run into is an overabundance of 3rd party reps. These should be placed sparingly and fit within the artstyle of Smash. Again, Snake is fine but it would be weird for Leon Kennedy, Lara Croft, and Gordon Freeman no matter how important they are to gaming history. Importance is another thing. I had a friend suggest the characters from 'It Takes Two', an indie platformer. Whilst interesting they are nowhere near important enough. Shovel Knight could only get in as an Assist Trophy and Cuphead and Undertale are Mii Costumes. Another problem is the phenomena of the 3: Scrimblo Bimblo, Iconic Kickpunchem, and Popular McJRPG Guy; i.e cute mascot platformer, fighting gamer, and anime sword fighter. Now, I think there are enough anime swordfighters, you can't top Sephiroth and Hero, and the only other fighting series missing is Mortal Kombat. I wonder if an unstylised Scorpion would feel like Snake, so out of place that he fits right at home. I am very partial towards platformer mascots, I think they are the most fun characters. But let's not forgot that no one cares about Banjo-Kazooie now that they're playable. For a platformer mascot to be in the game, they'd have to be really unique. #1 ~ New rep for each series. DK, Kirby, Starfox, Mother, FE, Kid Icarus, Animal Crossing, Xenoblade, Street Fighter, FF, Castlevania, and every other one off are fine. I think they are perfectly represented. But if they were to have more: Dixie, Bandana Dee, Krystal, Porky, Lyn, Viridi or Phosphora, Tom Nook, Stupid animal from Xenoblade, Chun-Li, Celes Chere or the Black/White Mage, and Alucard. For potential/noteworhty one offs: Shy Guy for Yoshi, Jody Summers or Samurai Goroh or the Skull, Ashley or Mona or Jimmy T., Raiden, Eggman, Bulborb, Roll or Zero, Glass Joe (for jokes) or Soda Popinski or Mr. Sandman. No one else needs more or the character would be too similar. Now what about the major franchises? Mario, LotZ, Metroid, and Pokemon. Surprisingly, I think Pokemon needs the second most amount of work is Pokemon. Gen 2 has a joke character, Gen 4 has a clone, Gen 6 & 7 are actually pretty great, Gen 3 and 5 are missing, and Gen 1 has 6 reps (and Gen 8 & 9 suck). So Smeargle, and Gardevoir, Oshawott. The only one I need to defend is Smeargle. 2 things: Gen 2 sucks with Pokemon designs, Smeargle has a paintbrush tail. Simple as. Also, make Lucario special. Metroid. 3 Metroid reps are Samus and with Ridley now another big monster would feel unspecial, sorry Kraid. So, keeping in mind what I said about uniqueness, an actual Metroid or a Chozo. Mario. Definitely not Waluigi, remember Ridley is too big for Smash? Neither do I. King Boo, King Bob-omb, Koopa Troopa, Paper Mario, or a Hammer Bro. Now I'm just going to say this now, I don't think Mario needs any more reps so I'm not going to explain my choices. You know who does need a revamp? LotZ. Darunia, Midna, Hestu, and Tingle. All of them. Put them all in! #2 ~ MIA Golden Sun, Chibi-Robo, Advance Wars, Starfy, and Wrecking Crew, Excitebike, Waverace, Jam with the Band, Clu Clu land. Honestly, you could put the main character from each game in but there's such thing as too much representation and I think these characters work best as Assist Trophies. But, with the new Mario Movie, they should add ... Eggplant Man!

[theviscera]

sabrina's extremely private multi-muse focused on various characters from mixed media sources.

standard roleplay etiquette and human decency are expected when interacting/following. failure to have basic common sense will result in an indefinite hard-block. all characters on this blog are considered canon removed unless stated otherwise. this blog was made primarily for friends and close writing partners, but i am always open to making new writing connections! please feel free to follow! i'm also 23, a lesbian, any pronouns are fine, and i love writing!

muse list under the cut. * pinterest.

anakin skywalker of star wars. portrayed by: hayden christensen.

carl grimes of the walking dead. portrayed by: chandler riggs/brenton thwaites.

cate dunlap of gen v. portrayed by: maddie phillips.

cici cooper of scream. portrayed by: sarah michelle gellar.

diana of themyscira of dc. portrayed by: claudia doumit.

ellie williams of the last of us. portrayed by: cailee spaeny.

emily fields of pretty little liars. portrayed by: shay mitchell.

fiona gallagher of shameless. portrayed by: diana silvers.

gamora of marvel. portrayed by: javicia leslie.

georgina sparks of gossip girl. portrayed by: michelle trachtenberg.

jordan li of gen v. portrayed by: london thor/derek luh.

lara croft of tomb raider. portrayed by: tia carrere.

leon kennedy of resident evil. portrayed by: steven yeun.

lucy maclean of fallout. portrayed by: ella purnell.

maggie rhee-greene of the walking dead. portrayed by: lauren cohan.

meredith grey of grey's anatomy. portrayed by: marine vacth.

obi-wan kenobi of star wars. portrayed by: ewan mcgregor.

shauna shipman of yellowjackets. portrayed by: sophie nélisse/melanie lynskey.

shiv roy of succession. portrayed by: sarah snook.

sidney prescott of scream. portrayed by: anya taylor-joy.

yara nkechi, original character. portrayed by: lizeth selene.

yelena belova of marvel. portrayed by: sasha luss.

[busygirlgcttagc]

@notmedizin

"You seem to be a glutton for punishment. If we keep going at this rate I'm not sure there's going to be anything left TO bring back. If-- if I had to, of course! Not saying it's something I've done before! Haha. Laws of modern medicine and all..." Tying off the bandage, Medic stood. Offering her a moment to sit, recollect herself. His own injuries were miniscule, a trickle of red at his temple, though there was still a quirk of the eyebrow. Yes, he'd come along, but it didn't mean he was going to sit backseat and let her make all the decisions. "As-- I'm assuming-- your primary care physician, I am telling you. Point blank. You need rest. Are you sure whatever it is that we're hunting for is worth it, Frau Croft?"

"...don't make it sound as if I enjoy pai-- hng!"

Any comment dies in a soft groan as her body tenses up. This... could've gone much better, to be fair, and Lara couldn't blame anyone but her own impatience for the new cuts and bruises. One could expect her to have learned, by now, that rushing into things brings nothing but bad things, more often than not, but... hah. Go figure, once again she ignored her own internal dialogue that kept telling her when to stop running all over the place.

She opened her mouth, still, ready to try to explain that she didn't need to rest, just to accidentally let out a second painful groan, instinctively moving her hand to her bandaged arm.

... ...she inhales...

...and exhales, loudly, resting her back against the rocks behind her.

Fine. She will stay still for a few minutes. Doctor's orders.

"It's more about the journey than the destination" she answers without answering, implying that her goal is more of a sweet souvenir to remember those times than anything else. God knows she doesn't need more money, anyway

"...but, I'll give you this." it's difficult to admit, but...

"You're right. That was rather careless."

[jentlemahae]

sorry for the rant but !! so many people have said that if bp disband they only see chaelisa continuing with music as they think they’re the only ones passionate about songwriting or performing and I don’t get it!!! for Jisoo, I do think she loves music and she’ll probably release more stuff someday but obviously rn she’s going into acting next. but I’m just so so so so soooooo confused that people genuinely believe that Jennie doesn’t want to do music.

Jennie is so passionate about music and imo you and me is a great example of how passionate she is. it’s so obvious to me that she put her all into this. she co-wrote the song and kmedia says she produced the performance video too but I’m waiting for further confirmation of that. the entire concept is so clearly Jennie’s idea. a lot of work went into it and it’s not even a proper solo release and I’m not too sure that yg would have done this if it wasn’t for her input. Jennie is so creatively involved with the things she does. she has official credits in both lyrics and production for multiple songs. she was a creative director for born pink. she comes up with concepts (eg you and me). she styled her solo era, her solo stages for both tours, the hylt hanboks, the ktl lara croft outfits, the pv mv, and more. outside of music she has designed 2 gentle monster collections, a calvin klein collection and her own porsche. she helped develop her jentle garden game. she was a guest editor for vogue korea. she was a creative director for her calvin klein campaign. the list goes on!

do they think her not releasing any solo music since 2018 was her choice? when has any idol had complete control over when they release stuff? yg’s inability to plan anything meant that the bp solos were all so far apart which meant Jennie has had to wait 5 years to release her new music. so during that time she had to focus on other non-music things instead and she excelled every time. on top of that yg has limited every female artist they have ever had so we haven’t even seen any of the pinks at their full potential so how can anyone make the judgement on what they’re passionate about when they haven’t really been able to show it yet?

it’s a catch 22 in a way bcs I do feel that people giving her shit all the time has made her less passionate about being a kpop idol. tbh I think anyone else would feel the same if they were in her shoes. it doesn’t matter how often she’s great people will harass her. that being said she still does want to be a kpop idol and in the k-entertainment industry as she’s just been booked as a permanent cast member of a variety show. and even despite all the harassment I don’t think she is any less passionate about music itself.

anw fuck the jensetters that said that releasing you and me would be embarrassing. if anything I think it has just made people more excited for jnk1. and personally I can’t wait to hear it!!

100000% AGREE !!!!! i hate when blinks/akgaes say “only xyz is/are passionate about music” bcs that is so disrespectful, but also ………. jennie ? not passionate about music ? jennie ????????? like u have mentioned with your (perfect!) examples, she is obviously and undeniably very passionate about her craft and loves working on anything creative, whether that is music or fashion!! plus, she’s literally mentioned working on music or wanting to release music in nearly every single interview for years….she obviously cares about music a lot !!!!! the only reason why she hasn’t released more songs is only bcs of yg, not lack of wanting !!!!! it’s just ridiculous to have people doubting whether she’ll keep making music in the future or worrying about the success and quality of jnk1 - her talents span so many different fields, she will do just fine

and yeah :/ i don’t think the constant harassment has made her less passionate per se, i think it’s more that she may have become more hesitant to put stuff out there into the world and might feel somewhat drained when working bcs she already knows that no matter what she does she’ll get harassed…i hope not but i definitely would understand if she felt this way 😕 but like u said, it hasn’t made her less passionate about music itself! maybe she’s less enthusiastic about being an idol sometimes - but that’s a job after all, it’s not the craft itself

[bearpillowmonster]

Trailers now and days spoil a lot when it comes to the finished product, something you wait years to release and even if the trailer doesn't spoil it, then the online community will. I seemed to have missed that childlike whimsy of picking up a game and know close to nothing about it. So, I tried to replicate that experience and it worked. But this one I played a little differently because I came up with the bright idea to deprive myself of a whole genre. I say "genre" but really it's a franchise and clones like it, that franchise ended up being Zelda.

I chose Zelda because I had already unintentionally spent a good amount of time without it, so no new or old games in that time period. I purposely avoided anything that was labelled to be like Zelda (such as Genshin, Sonic Frontiers, etc). I was already a fan of Zelda so a new game was a sure win but I never played Breath of the Wild because by the time I got a Switch, Tears of the Kingdom (unnamed at the time) was already announced. So, this won't just be my experience with the game, it'll be my experience with Breath of the Wild and not just that but where the franchise has gone for over five years and boy has it changed.

Now I can climb (pretty much everything) and cook and run and jump! I have to pay attention to what I'm wearing because the environment might be too cold or hot. A time cycle. The storyline starts like a Ghibli movie, Zelda's voice is like a deadpan Lara Croft and on the first day of playing it, I realized that there's a lot more adventure than I thought. I barely played that first day because it was all so much to take in. So, I won't be describing the game, I'll be describing my experience.

In a world like this, why complain? Well...The frame-rate drops in trees but does pretty good elsewhere. There's no way to deselect while in the hand mode, you have to jump out then back in. You can't roll. The adventure is more about exploring and the puzzles are more about tinkering. It's a complete overhaul of what came before it.

The horse can be annoying because you have to train its bond and get it a stable and get it to stay with you and they can be hard to control because "sometimes they don't want to go that way" or it's too precise with invisible barricades that it decides it can't jump over (i.e. a stone block in a ruin of stone blocks). And in a game ridden with mountains, you find yourself abandoning it half the time. If only it was a ghost like the companions...There was a bike in BOTW (hard not to know) but it's not in this one. Which all that would be fine if you could handle it in a timely manner but there were a lot of points where I regretted going in blind because while I was playing it, I felt like I was playing it wrong, it seemed like forever before I actually started getting anywhere once I touched down from the sky islands. I was so relieved the first time I found a stable because I didn't have to worry about losing it or anything, I could finally register him. Then I started the Rito Village quest and fell back into enjoying it but then the Eldin stuff drug me back down. It was a toss up.

All in all, it's a lot more RPG but in a world of prexisting RPGs, it almost doesn't feel like I was waiting for anything new, it has all these features that I've already seen before just not in Zelda and I'm not sure whether I prefer it that way either.

Open World specifically is the one I'm a little half and half on because it felt like I could spend days doing nothing, trying to find a way into somewhere to make some progress which in some cases just goes to show how good the game is, if you're willing to spend time doing side stuff and explore not only its environment but its gameplay but I don't know, this one felt a little too empty to me, like there were long stretches where I was just climbing or trying to go places. There are indeed wheels and different contraptions like I've pointed out to get moving but the threshold to get them is a decent length, especially if you don't know where you're looking for this stuff. You can't just pick them up and put them in your inventory either, you either have to find them out and about or already have them in your inventory from a rare drop or a capsule machine. Which wouldn't be so bad but those inventions you spend all that time building despawn (which makes sense for the hardware this is running on). But at the same time, there's a function that keeps a recipe in stock, you just need to have built it and...ok, it doesn't make sense, whatever. But even once you pass the threshold of finding a bounty of these "zonite" powered objects, you need that "zonite" to power them. Can be easy to fix but it would be just so much simpler without needing a battery change every five seconds and the more devices you run in tandem, the faster it depletes.

When I saw all these mechanics that people were pulling off with BOTW, I was thinking that the system was just that ingenious, that it just threw you into a playground and to some extent it does but I think it would've been better suited some other way. The surface is wet? Makes sense that you'd slip but sure as heck annoying. It chose accuracy over fun. If you're one of those people that hordes potions and items (like me) then this probably isn't the game for you. Especially since it takes forever to find what you're looking for, like when you're scrolling to attach something to an arrow. It doesn't tell you what stuff does in that menu (Flashback to FF6), an easy fix would be a favorites list, Nintendo. Your weapons break very easily, I could be fighting an enemy and use my whole inventory. At least with Animal Crossing, it still lasted a while, I didn't have to worry about my axe breaking after my first tree.

And that blind feeling wasn't helpful because there were things that were really truly great and helpful like being able to use waypoints and having a tracker that you can use on pretty much anything that you've come into contact with already so long as you logged it in your 'compendium'. But you wouldn't know that stuff if you didn't do the side-quests or rather the progression of them, because they started as something entirely different to get to that point. I was already past half way before I got all this helpful material that I could've used when I started and I didn't even see in any beginners guides when I checked. You can upgrade armor?? So I think that "not enough" of the game is set up on the main path, completely messing up the theory on how to make a good burger. It throws everything in your face at once and expects you to do it all.

Why I think I liked Rito so much and not Eldin is because Rito (almost) resembled a dungeon of sorts and it was the first one I did but Eldin had a lot of empty space yet its scope seemed massive. I think open world is great if only taken in bites, not all at once. The Goron in Eldin (which he pronounces gore-own? But everyone else says gore-on?) is just uninteresting and so is his story then the cutscenes come into play where I started wishing we were without them again because I would move a little bit only to initiate another cutscene of him spouting obvious mousedung like "I think it's this way, oh I wonder where Zelda is, what do you think Link?" and it's the same silent answer every time, it's just stupid. There's no room for subtlety or guessing if he just tells you everything. (unlocks a door with five locks, sees one of the locks drop, Goron: "Just four more locks left!") Math!

His AI is pretty dumb too, his hitbox was inconsistent, not being able to be used as a shield but would get in my way whenever I needed to hit something. He wouldn't always be there when I did need him though, he'd kind of just stick around another platform (I assume since he can't fly and he's so big that he needs room?). Then this was just downright lazy, with the Wind Temple, you needed to find a way to undo four locks. Okay, worked well enough but then the Fire Temple has you do the EXACT same thing. It's bad from a story and a gameplay pov, it's just copy and paste in a different environment, different place, but same context. And GUESS WHAT? They're ALL like that.

Let me show you this part that I was having a hard time with.

You can shoot arrows and or the Goron using various methods to try and activate switches but this one was blocked. I tried making a ramp but the rocks had to be level with the ground in order for it to work with the Goron. It ended up not even mattering though because it's blocking a way that I need to go, forcing me to find the correct way, it knew that I'd try that. Ok, so I try climbing-

And if a lip is too protruding, you can't go around it, so that's exactly what they did, they knew you'd try these methods but barred you from doing so. So what was the right way? Well, I skipped it, went to a different one then climbed and glided my way around until I could tip toe in a different way. It worked but it was largely unconventional and was definitely not the right way of doing it. So how did others do it? Well, they made a bridge using the rocks around them...except, I did that. FOUR TIMES. The space is cramped to where you have a hard time fitting all of them in a row but I did manage to just barely make them long enough and each time, it'd flip and fall because there's nothing to attach it to and the higher ground is so uneven that it'd lose balance. This is an example of the preciseness of its system. (Flashback: Accuracy over fun.) While I'd like to believe there were more refined solutions, I have yet to see any, in fact, to further my point, I went back after completing it to try it again and lo and behold it finally worked, I had the idea but couldn't execute it because of the too true mechanics. There's another great example of this if you look up the Rabella Wetlands "Remove Spike" puzzle.

Now let me talk about the underground. The overworld has these shrines that serve as little mechanic introducers and teleporting waypoints, you also get these lights from them that can net you a heart or addition to stam. The underworld has similar shrines too (which I'll call 'beacons') but it's horrible getting there, you spend it with the screen looking like this 90% of the time.

It's dark and these shrines light the place up except the underworld is every bit as big as the overworld. Even looking up beacon locations gives you coordinates but for one, there's no way to look at specific coordinates on the map, just your own and two, just because you have coordinates, doesn't mean you can take that path. Just like the overworld, there are mountains in your way, mountains that you can't see! Enemies riddle the area and blah blah, it seemed optional at the time so I noped out of there and stayed with overworld stuff but then I found out that a lot of what actually unlocks the stuff that I want is underground so it's best to get a good chunk of that out early. (such as those waypoints and compendium and power to recreate stuff you've built) No reward for lighting the beacons either so getting them all seems more like a hindering job so you can see the game than actual fun.

Now cosmetics are actually quite exemplary, there are a ton of costumes you can mix and match and collect, both new and old. With most games, this stuff can be picked up as drops, treated as achievements or set up in a shop for moolah. This is a mixture because some are indeed like that but the ones that you want, you're going to have to work for. By work, I don't mean difficulty though, I mean time. That underground holds a lot of these costumes, a lot of ones that you'll want and they're contained in chests, these chests will either be in the form of a coliseum where you fight an onslaught of enemies, including bosses...that you've already fought...I'll explain my problem with that in a minute but the other ones, those are scattered in chests and like I said, easy to find coordinates, tough as nails to actually trek to. I could spend an hour just cycling this environment, trying to get to where I need to be because there isn't a waypoint near it then after I get it, guess what, there's two more to the set. That's right, you've collected one third of the costume, now you need to get the other two pieces somewhere. I could spend 3 hours on just one costume. And you can upgrade these costumes to give you better stats but you need certain materials to do so.

Now the problem I have with the coliseums is that they're challenging but those types of things should be challenging, it's when it makes everything a chore that I begin to feel useless. I played for over 50 hours and only had 1/2 of the possible heart containers (which is still a good amount) but I never felt ready for any of the boss level enemies (Gleeok, Lynel, etc) because they'd always one-shot me and I'd do chip damage which I'd understand if I was way ahead of where I was supposed to be, but I unlocked all but one section of the map at thas point and with it being an open world game, these types of bosses are everywhere. There are foods and elixirs you can use to higher defense and attack but those only go so far and should only be additives, not mandatory, it nerfs your base health. If I can play 50 hours in a game and still feel weak then that's a problem with padding because I wasn't progressing fast enough or with the right stuff, I never really felt stronger. With Metroid, I always feel like I'm doing something, every single ability I unlock, every weapon, every door but this game makes it all feel null. Fuse as much as possible. Use as much as possible. Sleep as much as possible. Get as much as possible. Cook as much as possible. It's all very demanding of your time to actually try and have the time that you wish to have with this game, it sucks when you make time for it but it sucks it right back like it was nothing.

As far as story, there's a very weird origin and lore of the series that I'm still up in the air about. With franchises like this, I've started wondering whether they "should" cover the origin of everything this far in, that's what has me worried for Star Wars. But other lore is good because we have little things like Gerudos trying to run out of the rain because they don't like it and just that there are Gerudos running around in the first place is a step up because I always thought it weird that each kingdom had its own race but you only saw them there, nowhere else. You could argue that it makes the level design that much more unique but with an open world game like this, I kind of like seeing a mixed world with Avians, Gerudos, and Elves alike everywhere.

I guess the domains all act the same is because you "can" do them in any order but in doing that, even the cutscenes are reiterative, explaining the same event over and over after you defeat their boss. This nulls and dulls most of the story when it very easily could've been fixed with replacement scenes for whichever region you're in, it actually had potential when it started.

But let me let you in on a tidbit, not too much of a spoiler, just something so you know not to get your hopes up. When it was first revealed, they showed Zelda and Link together and the fans started thinking "What if you could play as Zelda?" this would've been an instant selling point but admittedly a better one to keep secret, well the sad news is that it didn't follow along with the fans. Normally I wouldn't dock it because of this because the only games that have done this were done so on a technicality but with this one in particular, they set up Zelda as "a mystery" and you're given pieces of what's happened to her throughout but I think it would've served everything better had they made these cutscenes, playable sections.

All in all, high highs but really low lows. The wait wasn't worth it. The hype wasn't worth it. Being blind was a mistake. The expectations were indeed impossible but I still think I grounded myself pretty well compared to many other titles I've waited just as long for. Now was the 70$ price tag worth it? I can already tell you that it was a meaty game but that doesn't mean fulfilling. It really depends what you "want" out of a higher price game. I wouldn't charge that again for anything but I do understand that it must've taken some programming genius to get it to run on Switch (though Nier and Dark Souls are on there and Genshin runs on a phone!)

But I feel really bad and sad to say that every game that I played around this...I liked more. Now everything labelled as a "Of the Wild" style, I'm not going to be as interested in. I actually think I disliked it at times and it's been a while since I've truly disliked a game. In fact, Zelda is such a successful series that I've liked every game I've played ...except this one, making it by default, the worst.