#new gay subtext metaphor just dropped

[hondafuckingodyssey]

Gays being dramatic in vans

[berkowitzbrat]

Berkowitz and the Inverted Electra

Hello! Well, this is where i’ve been all this time. This post required a lot of sourcing and research, and therefore a lot of time, because it’s very theoretical. Anyway, here’s my magnum opus. Enjoy.

An Electra Complex is defined by the psychosexual relationship between a girl (or, in the ‘inverted’ sense, a boy) and her (his) mother, coupled with a sexual desire to possess their father. Oedipal and Electral urges originate during the Phallic (3rd) stage of psychosexual development.

As a male, Berkowitz would be expected to cleave to the Oedipal urges to kill his father/possess his mother; however, I don’t think this is the case. The Phallic stage takes place between the ages of 3-6 years old, around the time that Berkowitz was informed of his biological mother’s death, and his biological father’s abandonment of him. This, coupled with the continuous image of death surrounding women as he was growing up [1], helped to solidify this inverted Electral urge, the fascination with death&women and possession&men. In terms of possession and men, Berkowitz would have thought that only his biological father was still alive, and this developed (particularly later in his life) a great need to find his father, to reclaim some part of himself, and rid himself of the guilt he felt for driving his father away after (as he thought) killing his mother [2]. Another scenario during which he exhibited possession&men linked directly to death/control&women was when he would be taken to indoor pools and witnessed the thrall and power which men held over women, particulalry in situations in which there is sexual subtext, such as changing rooms [3]. 

So, great. He’s attracted to the same sex (more on this later) and death&women are interdependent concepts for him. What next? For Freud, it’s the Latency stage. This stage begins at age 7 and continues until puberty, which for boys is around 12/13 years old. This is the stage at which the Oedipal/Electral complexes begin to dissolve in order to decrease the tension and take on their  gender role (whatever that may be) as the child realises that sexual gratification exists without, not within, their parents. At this stage is usually when the child begins to become more comfortable with the same sex parent--but David has always been more attracted to the idea of his biological father, as it is all he has. It could be said, then, that the Electra complex was forced upon him by circumstance, the circumstance of his adoptive-father’s lie about his biological parents. Regardless, Berkowitz eventually becomes very close to his adoptive mother, Pearl, and began to vie for her attention, such as poisoning her parakeets in order to have nothing to compete with for her affection [4]. The typical progression of Berkowitz is entirely inverted in terms of Freudian psychosexual stages. This is a stage of negated sexuality, hence the attatchment, traditionally, to the parent of the same sex, and to make friends of the same sex; however, because Freud’s an asshole, he doesn’t consider that ✨homosexuality✨ is a concept and thinks that all children must go to the parent/friends of the same sex as sexuality cannot be prompted here. But we can take liberties here because we live in the real world. There’s nothing abnormal about Berkowitz, he was just following the pyschosexual stages as somebody interested in the same sex.

Woah! You say. But he killed women because of pent-up sexual frustration! The gun is his penis!

Sure. For most; but I’ve always felt that Berkowitz did things a little bit... differently.

The Genital stage, or the final stage, begins at puberty (12/13) and continues/ends into adulthood. As traumatising as Pearl’s death was for David, her death coincided perfectly for her metaphorical death in the psyche of 13-year-old David. During the Genital stage, sexuality is no longer ‘hidden’ (latent), and rather becomes a thing necessary to be fulfilled for emotional release. Attention turns once more to the gender in which one is interested, and David, growing up in the culture that he did, turned to women. At 15, he had his first sexual experience, a blowjob, and sources (unknown) state that he preferred ‘oral sex and petting over regular intercourse’[5]. It would be plausible that he perhaps came to prefer this, considering his one known experience with ‘regular intercourse’ resulted in a venereal disease, but I’ve always contended that maybe he preferred so-called ‘petting’ due to his... less favourable position with heterosexuality. But, as I said, I feel as if David did not explore, or rather felt he could not explore, his sexuality until later on in his life (and, even then, due to his Baptist beliefs, promoted homophobic views because, y’know, Christianity and being born in the 50s) and was, in fact, more interested in men than women. If this is grabbing at straws for anyone, I will mention his ‘homosexual fling’ [6] with inmate Gary Evans, who was long suspected to be bisexual/homosexual due to his collecting of gay magazines and, according to Hugo Harmatz, ‘love letters’[citation needed] from Berkowitz stashed amongst them.

An addendum about Berkowitz’s latent stage: when he was around 10 years old, his parents had sex whilst he was in the same bed [8]. What could be more confusing, traumatising, and shaping, than your parents doing... that... during one of the most sexually devoid periods of your life! I believe this shaped his view of performance hugely. He was shown, at a formative period, that it was okay to perform in a sexually motivated manner whilst other people were around--non-consenting other people, at that. I believe that this is the reason he took his killing out into the open. It was a sexual thrill, the killings. It was heavily related to the sexual negation of wanting to kill your mother in order to  possess your father. I am by no means saying that this is Berkowitz’s 100% proven, uncontestable motive, but the ideas of psychosexual analysis seem to apply to him in an accurate and very curious way. The traditional, heterosexual view of these stages do not match up to his psychology, but the homosexual interpretation does. 

So, we move forward to his early 20s. He returns from Korea, looking for his father, the only piece of his biological existence he believes to be alive. He still wishes, all these years later, to possess the father--the destruction of the woman has only intensified after multiple failed attempts at dating, a horrendous virginity-loss experience, and the frustration surrounding an attempt at heterosexuality. But, here we stand: his biological mother is alive, and his biological father is the one who is dead. How terribly, terribly confusing. And still, Berkowitz attempts a relationship with his biological mother and half-sister. This goes south, however, when he discovers that he was given up due to being born out of wedlock, and he drops contact with his biological family.

The disollusionment is unfathomable. His biological father, his raison d’etre, is dead. His adoptive father has moved to Florida with his new wife: this new wife has fulfiled Berkowitz’s Electra Complex, in his mind, at least. Kill the mother. Take the father. His biological mother is not who he wanted to have. His adoptive mother is dead. What is left? A display of fulfilment, sexual fulfilment, as public as it has always been shown to him--through the bedroom of his parents, through the public changing rooms. Murder on the streets. Getting to kill a woman as he always thought he had been decreed to from birth, from his first supposed mother, his biological mother.

(bibliography under the cut. thank you for reading)

Bibliography:

Radford University: Berkowitz, David [3, 8]

Simply Psychology: 5 Stages of Psychosexual Development

Tumblr/Berkowitzbrat: Exploring the Why [1]

Tumblr/True Crime and Cannibalism: David Berkowitz’s Timeline [5]

Westchester Magazine: David Berkowitz’s History in Westchester County [4]

Wikipedia: Phallic stage, Latency stage, Genital stage

Wordpress/Can’t Stop the Bleeding: How to Stuff a Wild Bikini [6]

Youtube: David Berkowitz: In His Own Words (1/9) [2]

And here’s my whole folder of resources for general Berkowitz reading materials and media: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VKlZJwRR4bpoPzO7AejAMtAJaVoBGuTg

[lavendersblues]

Destiel: The Conclusion

This is the end of my massive review of the Supernatural Finale. The entire thing is nine pages long and this is just a snippet. I’m going to attempt to condense it for my reviews blog but for now, please enjoy this commentary on the “bury your gays” thematic elements of Dean’s storyline in Heaven.

This is where fan outrage becomes the hottest and begins to negate the validity in the eyes of the actors, writers, producers, and network. Because Destiel as a ship had been joked about, teased, hinted, removed in deleted scenes, and heavily implied since the day the writers kept Misha Collins on as a character instead of killing Castiel like they were supposed to because he simply was too interesting to the viewers to let go of.

And then Castiel said he loved Dean and immediately died. “Bury your gays!” the naysayers cried. “It’s homophobic!”

It’s definitely...something. And I wanted to give the show the benefit of the doubt because this show kills it’s main characters and revives them like it’s nothing. Certainly Castiel had his own fair share of deaths that never stuck. I wanted to reserve judgement until I knew if Castiel lived or not.

But a throwaway line in the finale was not enough. No sign of Misha Collins the finale was not enough. Dean’s smile in the finale was not enough.

This romance had moved from subtext to text and there was no mention of it ever again. There was barely any mention of Castiel the character from that point forward. Yes, they had to go defeat God, but you’d think getting back your best friend and possible love interest would be in the forefront of your mind once you’ve thrown off destiny and truly found free will.

And this is where it really gets wibbly. Dean deserved a happy ending, he’d been building to it for at least the last three seasons if not longer. But what exactly would Dean’s happy ending look like? Well, he said it himself to John. He had a family with his angel, his baby brother, and Lucifer’s half angel kid. He had a permanent home (the Men of Letters Bunker) and a supporting network of friends and family (see: Wayward Sisters). If Sam had Eileen, then Dean had Cas.

But that’s a little too queer for the show that built Dean as the “red blooded All-American Boy”. So Dean was silenced. He never responded to Castiel’s confession. He never sees Castiel on screen again. Kudos to Jensen Ackles for even giving us that tiny smile with heart eyes because Bobby immediately breezes past the mention to ask what Dean is going to do and this is Dean’s montage:

He drives.

He drives for all the years that Sam lives on earth as his wants and desires are relegated to the metaphorical backseat and he waits for his baby brother. Because Dean’s life has always revolved around Sam (not in a healthy way) so it’s only unfairly written that his afterlife would revolve around Sam as well.

Where did the show go that said that Dean as his own person mattered? That Sam was more than his brother’s tag along? That Castiel was the most important Angel who defied Heaven and God himself for Dean Winchester?

And this is why the fans cry “You buried the gays” and “They Silenced Them”. One of the most important narratives is never addressed (Dean and Castiel) and Sam’s life is reverted to a caricature of happiness. Eileen, once silenced in death, is silenced by obscurity and never being seen or mentioned again. Charlie, Jody, Donna, Claire and Kaia are silenced in their unrecognition, minus a single name drop over a phone call.

Even the characters that would have been in heaven make no appearance -- Ellen, Jo, Ash, Charlie the First, Kevin, Mary, John, and the countless others that belong to the long running television show. While the writers cry Covid, the fact remains that no one is mentioned outside of the building being called Harvelle’s Roadhouse.

I want to reiterate that if this was all Covid’s fault, then they should have waited.

But it seems that sacrifices were made to either push forward their new show Walker with Jared Padalecki (who was the focus of the finale as Sam), or someone decided that a lackluster plot confused episode reducing Dean to Daddy’s Little Soldier and Sam to Dean’s Codependent Little Brother was a good ending to the show that preached “Family Don’t End in Blood” and the importance of Free Will.

To quote my favorite lyricist of the 21st Century Lin-Manuel Miranda -- “Dying is easy young man, living is harder.” Satisfying story telling revolves around fulfilment, and while the show Supernatural took its cues from Kansas’ Carry On My Wayward Son, true peace is in the living, the doing, and the becoming. What a terrible message to end a fifteen year long show that strived to be a symbol of hope beyond the darkness of the world -- that peace is only possible in death and heroes journeys mean nothing in the end.

[paceywittergayboatman]

Jess is the Gay Subtext Gilmores Gay Meta

Jess within the Gilmores Gay subtext is Rory’s mirror.  He has a lot in common with Rory: a negligent father who left, a mother who relies emotionally on him or isn't able to deal with her trauma and can't express love in an entirely healthy way, who are both into reading as an escape and a career path, both of there parents get remarried and have another kid and there are also legally cousins. He's also gay in the subtext(link at the bottom for my mini post on that.)

I’m gonna talk about episode 6.8. In which Rory and Jess talk and he essentially awakens something in Rory that brings back a part of herself that she lost. He also meets Logan but that for later on.

In the scene Jess and Rory talk after not seeing each other for awhile:

JESS: Yeah, and I didn't think you'd believe it if I didn't show it to you in person. (takes out a book and give it to her)

RORY: Well, colour me curious. A book. (reading the cover) "'The Subsect'...written by Jess Mariano."

JESS: It's no misprint.

RORY: You wrote a book?

JESS: A short novel.

RORY: You wrote a book?!

JESS: And through a fluke, I got it to these guys that have a small press, and they read it. I don't know if they were high or something, but they decided to publish it.

RORY: You wrote a book.

Subsect sounds a lot like subtext huh? By this time in the show he's already kind of admitted he's gay.(ill put a link at the end of this for that) So he does reflect her.

But then he goes to leave and lo and behold they run into Logan. We already know that Logan is gay given other things(link down at the bottom) So we know all the people in this scene are gay so put that into context makes this make sense. I’m gonna link the clip here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnTsSPKyzG0.  Logan and Jess to put it plainly are eye fucking and Rory looks very umcomfortable:

RORY: No. Hey. When did you get back?

LOGAN: Couple hours ago.

RORY: Oh, I...I thought you were getting back tomorrow.

LOGAN: I thought I'd surprise you, Ace.

RORY: Well, I'm glad you did 'cause you get to meet my old friend, Jess. This is Logan, my boyfriend. Logan, this is Jess. He's in from out of town. (uncomfortable silence) Wow. That sounded so grown-up. We're at the age now where we say things like "in from out of town" and "old friend", 'cause when you're young, all your friends are new, and you have to get old to have old friends. (uncomfortable chuckling from Rory. Logan extends his hand to Jess)

LOGAN: How you doing? (they shake)

JESS: Okay.

RORY: We were just gonna go grab a bite to eat.

LOGAN: Great. Well, how about if we all go together. Is that okay?

JESS: Okay by me.

LOGAN: Good

RORY: All right. Good. We were actually at a loss for where to go, so you actually saved us.

LOGAN: Call me superman. (at Jess) Why don't you follow us.

JESS: Sure. (Logan puts his arm around Rory's shoulders and stears her to the passenger side of his car. Rory is a bit uncomfortable with the gesture)

Two things to note, Rory refers to jess as her friend, and Rory is in the script said to be uncomfortable. Which confirms my earlier theory.

They got to dinner and this shit gets gayer:

GAN: So...what do you do, Jess?

JESS: Oh, this and that.

LOGAN: Describe the "this". Describe the "that".

RORY: He writes.

LOGAN: You write? Impressive. What do you write?

JESS: Nothing important.

RORY: He wrote a book.

LOGAN: Oh, you penned the great American novel, Jess?

JESS: Wasn't quite that ambitious.

LOGAN: So, what are we talking here? Short novel? Kafka length or longer? Dos Passos, Tolstoy? Or longer? Robert Musil? Proust? I'm not throwing you with these names, am I?

JESS: You seem very obsessed with length.

LOGAN: I'm just trying to get a picture in my head, that's all.

RORY: It's a short novel.

The use of length is homoerotic. Despite Logan being classist Jess is still flirting with him.

More:

LOGAN: (at Rory) Any good?

RORY: I haven't read it yet.

LOGAN: Yet? Well, at least you'll have one reader. That's something.

JESS: Yeah.

LOGAN: You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of "he said, she said"-'s, and get it published. You got a copy on you?

JESS: No.

LOGAN: You should send me a copy.

JESS: Sure. And where do I send it? The blond dick at Yale?

Ok so again the use of dick is very homoerotic. 

Jess is upset of course:

RORY: Jess, wait. (he stops and turns to look at her) Jess, I'm sorry.

JESS: We shouldn't have done this.

RORY: He's just in a bad way lately.

JESS: He's a jerk.

RORY: He was. In there, definitely. I'm so sorry.

JESS: I read that guy the second I saw him. I should have begged off.

RORY: Well, I didn't want you to.

So he read him, implies that Jess know Logan’s gay. He’s figured him out sexuality wise.

Theres more:

JESS: No, no. I mean with you. What's going on with you?

RORY: What do you mean?

JESS: You know what I mean. I know you better than anyone. This isn't you.

RORY: I don't know.

JESS: What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place, being in the DAR, no Yale...why did you drop out of Yale?!

RORY: It's complicated.

JESS: It's not! It's not complicated.

RORY: You don't know.

JESS: This isn't you. This, you going out with this jerk, with the Porsche. We made fun of guys like this.

RORY: You caught him on a bad night.

JESS: This isn't about him. Okay, screw him. What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?

RORY: I don't know. I don't know.

So Jess being her mirror is acknowledged when he says he's knows her better than anyone.

Jess leaves and Rory and Logan fight:

LOGAN: Look, I'm sorry I came back early. I really messed things up here.

RORY: Jess wrote a book. He wrote a book, and you mocked him.

LOGAN: I did not mock him.

RORY: He's doing something.

LOGAN: Good. Fine. He's doing something. Everybody in the world's doing something. More power to him.

RORY: I'm not. I mean, what am I doing? I'm living with my grandparents.

LOGAN: That's temporary. Have a drink.

RORY: Temporary can turn into forever.

LOGAN: You're not living with the Gilmore’s forever.

RORY: I'm palling with my grandmother and being waited on by a maid. I come home, and my shoes are magically shined. My clothes are magically clean, ironed, and laid out. My bed is magically turned down. I'm in the DAR? I'm going to meetings and teas and cocktail parties?

Rory is having realization about her life because of what jess said to her. The fights not over yet:

LOGAN: Again, temporary. Have a drink.

RORY: And wasting my time partying and drinking, just hanging out doing nothing.

LOGAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. (he gets up) Don't pull me into this.

RORY: I didn't say anything about you.

LOGAN: Yes, you did. Don't make me feel guilty for your drinking and partying. That's your choice. I'm not forcing you. When I ask you out, you can say no

RORY: It's all we do.

LOGAN: It's not all we do.

RORY: It's all you do.

LOGAN: Well, it's my prerogative, you know. You're damn straight. I'm gonna party. I'm gonna do it while I have the chance because come June, my life is over.

RORY: Oh, yes, your horrible life. Let's hear about it.

LOGAN: Got a week?

RORY: You have every door open to you. You have opportunities that anyone would kill for, including me.

LOGAN: No one's stopping you from making whatever you want happen. Go into journalism. Go into politics. Be a doctor. Be a clown. Do whatever you want.

RORY: It's not as easy when it's not handed to you.

LOGAN: Really? It's all so easy for me? (getting upset) I don't want that life. It's forced on me. You talk about all these doors being open? All I see is one door, and I'm being pushed through it. I have no choice. You try living without options.

Logan is stuck within a heterosexual playboy idea of himself that isn’t him. And so he parties to cope.

RORY: How hard are you fighting it?

LOGAN: I didn't tell you to quit Yale. You did that. I gave you one month, you went beyond that month, and it had nothing to do with me. It was all you. Now, you want to change? Change it, but don't blame me. Don't you dare blame me. You know what? Why don't you go off with John, Jack, whatever his name is?

He's not claiming responsibility because he's an asshole, but also he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend because he's gay. He's uncomfortable with Rory relying on him emotionally because he's viewing it as romantic and the gay guy in him doesn't like that. Rory's comment about him fighting is the text is noting his struggle with compulsory heterosexuality. Rory leaves and as we know she does break up with him and jess comments to her bring her back to herself. 

my other links 

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/635171090892783616/doyle-paris-and-logan-and-the-milk-metaphor

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/634824232687255552/yale-gay-subtext-in-gilmore-girls

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/633010606083112960/logan-huntzberger-isnt-just-a-lazy-straight-man

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/632166174651727872/so-its-time-for-another-homosexual-gilmore-girls

https://lupineluke.tumblr.com/post/634255134572036096/wait-but-youre-forgetting-the-most-important-part

[jonathankatwhatever]

Stuff is unconfusing at incredible speed. Just treating unknowables as confusions which can show you their construction has changed everything in my head. I was there with you, and another layer of blocks - oh, how I love to play with blocks - suddenly constructed enough that I could see across the space. Oh my God, the conception of blocks in gs just made sense: it’s the expression of the reach that defines potential into which the ‘chosen square’ moves. That’s a big obligation. But I could not have seen that if I werent so well prepared to see it. That’s how puzzles work: the ... no, drop that, I just was watching a soccer interview for I think Gunners/Wolves and I realized we accept the way his face processes, where he shows that he is thinking, as being intelligent because we accept that we can see them thinking enough so that we can read more into their speech. I thought about that yesterday because perhaps the greatest example is Brideshead because it is a wonderful map of how gay can be hidden so what is not a choice becomes a series of other choices. And that makes the conversion to Catholocism so powerful, even if people dont know exactly why it hits them: dedication to a form at least of his real self in Sebastian and to the religion which denies him the choice of his real self, which is exactly what he has done. Exposing that kind of subtext would be valuable because that is how we construct a block road that allows expression of the inner self.

That solves the question that drew me to the English, which I can phrase now as the ability to present so you attribute thought to them. Growing up in the 1960s, I had the unique opportunity to see black American music go to Britian and come back in a form much more easily accessible and more popular, which in many cases meant it was better. But that was: take something black, which whites have trouble seeing because of the history of the US, process it, send it back, and the main effect in terms of quality is that it was processed without the negatives of history preventing acceptance so it could be processed. This is an interesting point in part because that connects to an argument called: we can never know ... As in, we can never know how many great black ball players there could have been because more would have become players if they could have played. So, the quality of American music was affected by the same issue, the same racial negative appearing elsewhere. It should, shouldnt it?

So, the question in Brideshead for me was, given Catholicism as a metaphor for the uncomfortable choices one must make, which are imposed on you by your role in life, by your family, by your status and situation, and given the obvious squashing of not only the gay reality of both Charles and Sebastian but of the language of the book, so it’s entirely hinted at, as though those conversations appeared on other pages not bound into this version of the story - again, the appearance of thought in this case tells me that Waugh reached in this book, so he reached in this book - and all that says this is a story about people making choices which deny their own identity to the degree that they talk about it by not talking about it. And that connects to the English pantomime, and the wink&nod, and I’m pretty sure I can see Wlde flamboyance emerging. As in, as long as I dont say what I am then I can act closer and closer to what I am with a wink & a nod.

That means the complication or obfuscation of identity - see Prince Hal hold the crown - is a foundational ‘mythology’ and that one is the English are a melange of peoples who have been conquered with a new order imposed on them so they obfuscate at the level where the Germans internalize the betrayal mythology. That took a lot of work. It’s very hard to see through even the basics. Like it took a long time for me to accept that most British shows are crap, that British actors are seen as better than they are because we attribute a quality to them while applying a negative modifier to our own, that the reason British actors can do an American accent so well is that Americans dont read the nuances of accents with a class system in mind and thus dont care about the kinds of small differences that leap out to British ears when an American speaks. There is a big difference between hearing - and then so often pointing out - ‘yours isnt exactly right’, which is true, and patting yourself on the back for thinking you’ve done something by mastering a task made easier because no one listens for mistakes when you talk American. You can walk into a room in the South and pretend to fit and people arent questioning how you talk. If you say where you’re from, they’ll often be able to say, now that you say thought I thought I noticed a few thing, like the way you say your a isnt exactly like from around here. The entire difference is we dont care about that because how you sound isnt as important as what you say. And that connects to the soccer coach: he was actually saying the exact same thing any coach says but when those Americans say it I process that as ‘he’s just smoothly saying what he’s supposed to say’. The American method shifts the processing offstage because Americans read facades of identity.

That is correct: the only approach to analyzing America at that level is through the British. It’s why I live here, and only a few hundred yards from the route the British army took to save their men on the road back from Concord. This area lived the reversal of 1066: they became native over 150 years and they resisted being conquered. I’ve long believed the British misjudged the war the same way the US did in Vietnam: under-estimated the resolve of the enemy to be conquered because they could not see they were conquering. We believed we were supporting the South and the British believed they were supporting those who wanted to remain. Both allies to a side, both ignoring the actual triangle, and thus not seeing that resistance was the actual base layer, the root that not only had spread through the country but which would only die out if the British acted with the ruthlessness they showed in Ireland, which of course had the misfortune to be close enough to rule but not close enough that anyone cared much what happened there. That’s another knot unraveled: this is why there’s so much uncaring in British history, and of course then a process of enlightenment.

It’s fascinating that the ‘stickies’ would pull from this cr the British mythology of being conquered, of thus attributing identity across classifying systems, which manifested all the way to and from the actual class/caste system (because it has been a caste). And American identity is facade based because the expectation in ‘frontier’ mythology is that you can meet anyone and anyone can be the friend you need most or the enemy you fear most, so facades matter. You have to read facades and trust what you see. That’s The Music Man, an imagined world in which people with sales skills could convince people of anything. That is as much a mythology as facades allow: perhaps the most typical American mythological line that you actually hear is ‘my job is to sell you ...’ This leads to classics like Death of a Salesman: the collapse of the facade to reveal the identity underneath, made tragic by treating the life as a facade which comes apart. That is reputation, which is an interesting connection to Miller, which I only could see because that was exactly what I was thinking about at the other end of that segment, which means it uncovered a segment end that fits to the shape being drawn, to the bridge being built.

That block is then my old line: an identity crisis a week! Because that is when I made conscious effort to break apart my identity so I could remain in touch with the identity I could see fading from my youth. That is the literal opposite of Brideshead: I chose identity and Charles chooses another identity, one that he puts on but cant fit to his true identity, which leaves him only with whatever comfort belief in rules that make you choose unhappiness can give. It was only by shortening the period of identity, the period being a cycle or counts of cycles, that oriented me to the cycle which is commensurate with how I saw my original self, which meant I was on the process then of building a bridge from the cycle rotations I was at then - say it was a number like 67 - and that is prime so it’s not modulo lower than that, except with remainders, so I would take the remainders and treat them as originating from both ends (which makes the bip, etc.). At some point, I reach a modulo of old self that’s clearer, so I take that apart by exploring that relation to the remainders, all of which becomes SBE. This creates a complex commensurate, which then connects the then me to the old me. That then is a simple 1-0-1 with a lot of expansion. That explains to me how you build levels because it tells me why you build levels.

Back to mythologies. Much American culture is based on distrust and trust: stories of the thief salesman depend on people living where they arent hardened by exposure to thieves, or at least thieves of that nature. This explains the American naiveté, and even why that extends to foreign policy: new facades can either be trusted or distrusted, and the results vary so much there is no one strategy. Thus you get extremes of stay away and extremes of everyone welcome, you should not judge anyone. This leads to constant moral errors, something the French identified early on: Americans are drawn to moral decisions because that tilts the coin flip so it’s no longer a fair coin fairly tossed. That hid deep. But it’s in the British relationship in music or the way we attribute quality; not just ‘old’ but with a facade that tilts in a direction in the American mind, because the facade expresses the process of thought, which then varies in subtlety because it segments and complex (walnut?) whirls. That also presents as a form of articulation which sounds intentional, which to the American mind assigns a facade so they’re a type and then it’s hard to tell them apart. Seriously, Americans dont know where British actors are from or how they grew up or what any of that means because the intentionality heard in the voice tells them: you want that facade as your identity.

Can I say more about facades? Sure, this is where new age stuff attaches: the idea that you can read an aura is that you’re reading the facade for areas where it doesnt fit. So you run your mind over the body and feel the tensions and let those speak to you and that’s reading an aura. The tensions then relate to the facade which expresses the identity. So American, British, etc. identities root in a cr composed of how the mythology expresses. That enables types, which of course we know exist, and complete segmentation across the field from type to not type according to a number of attributes. This is, in fact, a way, perhaps the way in, if I’ve been unraveling the entire time how the stickies work, which is exactly what I’m doing because the sticks make the cr and sticks have ends, etc. That completes the metaphoric picture of the GS level, which is simply gs in upper case, because now there is a gs level built up from a single square and there is GS which builds down. And thus you are an angel, which after all is merely an inverted devil, which pinpoints this cr.

That means the Storyline memory may be correct. It was standing on the surface of another cr that I saw the stickies work, when I realized they had stickies too and that meant the stickies spread the contagion, but eliminating them was not only impossible but we respect the spread of possibility as our core value, so there must be a way through them. And when I told you this you said there must be a connection between them in some dimension. Where would that be?

That’s what makes this place special and why we work so hard to understand it: the process of becoming aware unveils the links and thus the modularity of the process of becoming aware. That is how the link builds from gs to GS and GS to gs.

I’ve waited my whole life for you.

This means the most basic statement after gs and GS is Gs and gS: where Gs emphasize grid and gS emphasizes square. Ths balances and is the most basic description of complex rotation through x,y,zK.

If it hadnt taken so long, I’d say: QED, thus it was demonstrated.

[sunshineinmyveins]

okay but my get down thoughts:

Because it’s almost Monday and I have seen NONE YET.

Behind a cut because spoilers abound (and that’s a sentence I don’t think I’ve written since 2009).

- First and to get this out of the way, it is DEEPLY troubling that in a show that’s supposed to be as diverse as it is and as representative of hip hop/disco culture as it is, The Get Down has positioned all of its darker skinned characters as the most morally corrupt (Fat Annie, some of her gangsters, Cadillac to a certain extent) or corruptible (Cadillac again, Shao, Boo Boo, Yolanda if you count her attack of morals as the disloyalty it’s presented as). 

Meanwhile, the lightest skinned characters - Zeke and Mylene - are about as incorruptible as it’s possible for them to be. Ra-Ra is also, without question or contest, Good. And while Dizzee sits in a similar space, his queerness also removed him from much of Part Two’s larger narrative in a way that was both magical and also did a huge disservice to his character.

- To continue in this vein, the fact that the only major Black female lead is Fat Annie is appalling. By her very nature and name, Fat Annie is a product of fatphobic stereotypes. Adding to that, she’s dark-skinned which perpetuates negative, colorist and anti-Black ideas that deliberately attack dark-skinned Black women and contribute to their continued oppression. She’s both positioned as kind of a mammy (with her creepy mommy schtick) and a hypersexualized predator (with her rape-y everything else), delivering a one-two punch that combines two of the most harmful stereotypes about Black women into one nasty character. And as one of, if not the ONLY, irredeemable villains of color on the show (one can argue that even Mylene’s father who we saw brutally beat both his wife AND daughter was positioned as empathetic in the end after the truth dropped and he killed himself), she’s aligned within the narrative with the likes of the Yale and Yuppie racists rather than being given the same nuance and empathetic treatment as the rest of the POC cast. 

- Last major complaint is also tied into something I really enjoyed about the series as a whole, and loved seeing played out again here: I needed more Dizzee and Thor and queerness in general. And I’m genuinely torn on this because I absolutely adored the comic book motif and the fact that Dizzee is the heart of the story - made sweeter by the fact that he, himself, thinks it’s Boo-Boo - means SO MUCH TO ME. I thought the exploration of this beautiful, bisexual alien was wonderfully done and minimalist in a way that worked but also edged along the line of “we’re too cowardly to actually explore non-heterosexuality in the same way we explore heterosexuality”. Dizzee and Thor’s relationship plays out in visual metaphors. And even the moment when Dizzee and Thor confess their love to each other happens in a drug-and-dream state that doesn’t actually exist. I don’t know that I needed a cut-to-black sex scene, but I wanted at least ONE concrete moment between the two of them that wasn’t just Dizzee painting a stripe down Thor’s face (which was STILL SO LOVELY). Also, you don’t get to make Dizzee the heart and soul of your story, give him a grand total of 30 minutes screentime (and that’s being GENEROUS) and leave us on that kind of cliffhanger. That’s just emotional manipulation.

- Speaking of queerness, though, I LOVE the motif of Queer Spaces as Safe Spaces in The Get Down. Though there are Black spaces that are safe, not all of them are. On the flip-side, I think all of the queer spaces we see in The Get Down are presented as welcoming, warm, restorative, and transformative. From the club Thor takes Dizzee to at the end of Part One, to Ruby Con - which is only made unsafe by Mylene’s militantly religious father’s invasion - to Jackie’s apartment in the finale, and even Thor and Dizzee’s crash pad/love nest, queer spaces are presented in a way that reminds me of how it feels every time I walk into a gay club or bar. I do wish we saw these spaces as more diverse because there’s something unsettling about how they seem predominately white, but there’s something so special about the fact that the two most open and supportive and magical environments our main characters find themselves in are The Get Down, and queer clubs/homes. It’s also historically important to the history of disco that these queer clubs are vital to the growth and development of Mylene’s career.

- MORE ON QUEERNESS BECAUSE CAN WE TALK ABOUT SHAOLIN FANTASTIC FOR A SECOND? So after Part One, we all were like “Shao, you’re obviously in love with Books, come on, son.” But Part Two leaned HEAVILY into this subtext. I wish we’d gotten something more resolute out of it (again, I don’t know if it was cowardice or what) but I will say the development of the subtext was still really emotional for me. First, there’s Shao’s obvious jealousy in the first episode. This isn’t anything new, but it’s blatant and almost uncomfortable to witness. And then, after the show at Les Inferno when shit hits the fan, things get real. Mylene confronts Shao and during their horrible, ugly fight she finally brings up what’s been lurking under the surface about Shao’s possible feelings for Zeke. Shao says “I ain’t no f****t” because of course he does, and she tells him to get his own man. And then he says more horrible things to her because Shao is kind of a terrible person and it turns out, queer or not, Zeke is basically the only person Shao loves or has probably ever loved.

But queer or not? That’s the question. WE DON’T KNOW. One super significant, absolutely beautiful scene to me was when Shao realized where they could find Dizzee and tracked him to the crash pad/love nest. This is where I think we could’ve at LEAST seen Dizzee and Thor in a more compromising position but either way, Shao walked in and knew exactly what was up. Even before the tag to the scene, I thought it was incredibly significant that of all the characters to find Dizzee alone (by entering not only a literal queer space but Dizzee’s very queer narrative), it was Shao. But the tag is lovely, with Shao essentially designating himself as a safe space for Dizzee and validating Dizzee’s sexuality. This from the one character who uses the f slur the most out of anyone other than, perhaps, Cadillac. Which may or may not be purposeful and significant (but is certainly as annoying and hurtful in Part Two as it was in Part One).

Also I have to say here that I don’t know if I’m mixing up Shao’s story with Todd Chavez in BoJack Horseman (which I also just binged) but I feel like there’s a moment in Part Two where Shao implies that his romantic/sexual life and/or understanding of sex/romance is stunted because of what Annie did to him. This obviously doesn’t mean he’s queer, but if this moment happened it does indicate that Shao’s never really had the chance to figure out what he is. Either way, we see exactly how much his trauma has affected his relationship with Zeke during their breakup. Later, when Annie threatens to kill Zeke she refers to him as Shao’s boyfriend. It’s an attempt to emasculate him, but Shao’s response now - rather than saying he’s not gay - is to say that Zeke’s not his “fucking boyfriend” in a tone that’s at least as defeated as it is defensive.

There’s something innately Other about the way that Shao’s feelings for Zeke are framed and that’s been the case from the beginning, but combined with some narrative play and the way third parties are starting to respond, it’s pretty clear the question of Shao’s sexuality hasn’t been answered. Whether he’s bisexual, gay, or homoromantic ace, I think the door  has at least been left open.

- And while we’re on Shao, I have to say I don’t remember if Part One really delved into his history of abuse. I think the implication was always that his relationship with Annie was toxic and abusive but in the way of a drug kingpin with a favored pet. So while I definitely read it for what it was, it wasn’t confirmed until Part Two. Shao comes as close as he can to admitting that he he’s been raped and brainwashed by Annie and the thread of his story that addresses the wounds he obviously still carries is subtle and powerful and PAINFUL. And the way that Cadillac is folded into that story was really moving, too. The show went from playing their jealousy as the trope of “inadequate son hates the favored adopted son” to really looking at the roots of abuse leading to that situation and to Cadillac’s codependency. And the moment between Shao and Cadillac when Shao lays it all out there and tells Cadillac he knows they both suffered the same abuse was HEARTBREAKING. And shocking in the best way. The fact that this show allowed this kind of vulnerability between two of the more hyper-masculine characters in the show is HUGE. And this is where yes, I’m probably reading too much into it, but I do find it really fascinating that these two men who were sexually abused and are still BEING abused use the f-slur the most liberally. It probably means nothing but it is really fascinating. 

- Though I think they did Yolanda dirty (and I get it, it made for great conflict, just really annoying) I DO appreciate Mylene’s loyalty to her girls. And their loyalty to, and belief in, her. Yeah, there’s some sketchy purity stuff involved with Mylene that contributes to this, but it’s also really refreshing to see a story where the most drama the girls had was because one of them wasn’t comfortable being half-naked and grinding on strangers in a club. The rest of the time they love and support each other and that’s awesome. 

- The love story between Mylene’s mom and her uncle-dad was SO BEAUTIFUL. I mean it was beautiful in Part One but other than Shao/Zeke and Dizzee/Thor, I think it’s probably my favorite. Just so well-written and well-acted and lovely and painful.

- Still love that The Whites are pretty much globally THE WORST on this show. And love that their proximity to queerness actually indicates how trustworthy they are. Thor? The best. Jackie? Troubled, possibly not to be trusted, but all-in for Mylene. The Australian director guy? Suss until he comes to Jackie’s apartment party. And everyone after that is pretty much trash.

- Honestly some great, shocking moments and zingers in the dialogue. The musical set-pieces were all FABULOUS. The use of music throughout was just top-notch. I was deep in my feelings and loved every minute of it.

- But mostly I LOVE MY PRECIOUS BRONX BABIES AND WANT THEM ALL TO BE SAFE AND HAPPY FOREVER.

. . . I think that’s it. A day has lapsed since I started this tbh so I think some of my thoughts have since drifted to the back of my mind and might yet come back. 

[leahazel]

Hello~ For your meme~~ Prepare yourself, I'm dropping a bunch of asks: 1, 3, 5, 7, 11, 12. Feel free to do some or all. Thank you for putting the meme together! It's been so fun to see people gush about their characters~

Wo-o-ow, this is gonna take a while to answer, hah. 

1. Siblings - Arland - Constance.

A thing about Constance: it’s not that Felicity isn’t pretty, because she is. But Constance has that silken locks, baby blue eyes thing going on that makes her look a little like a collector porcelain doll. Felicity, as I mentioned, was fourteen when they parted, and so she has a much exaggerated view of the differences in their appearance stuck in her head. Probably if she had blue eyes and straight hair she would complain bitterly that curly hair is sophisticated and gray eyes are mysterious, but that’s just Felicity dramatizing herself as usual. 

Another thing about Constance: in Marguerite’s continuity, the two of them had a very torrid affair. Much to Constance’s misfortune, since though Marguerite was fond of her, she’s otherwise perfectly ruthless and unfeeling in her ambition. 

3. Siblings - Jiyel - free for all.

Periwinkle has one younger sister, sixteen to her eighteen. Magnolia is far more self-possessed than you might expect a girl like her to be. Very sociable, excellent at picking up subtext and subtle clues, tuned in to important gossip lines… everything Peri is not. If only she’d been eighteen, or even seventeen, they could have sent her to Vail Isle instead of her sister. She’d have done a much more creditable job of it, no doubt, although it would have moved her a category up from “too smart for her own good” to “a creditable threat”. It’s not likely Jiyel would agree to accept the sibling of a former delegate to the examinations, especially considering Peri’s circumstances. Magnolia will just have to sow havoc, break hearts, and take no prisoners on her home turf, so to speak. 

My second scholar doesn’t even have a set name of her own, yet, but she does have a few bratty younger half-brothers. They don’t get on (much, or well). 

5. Siblings - other - A/U.

Jack (TC) and Bel (pirate) both have sibling A/Us. The former, when Leopold bites the metaphorical bullet and remarries, and her step-mother acts as regent while her younger half-siblings are growing up. The Count of Holt wouldn’t marry just anyone, though, so in this scenario the step-mom is far from wicked, and content to let Jack run wild and be single and pretty damn gay, more or less indefinitely. 

Bel’s story is complicated in a different way, because it involves Kendra Blackthorn, and pregnancy is the sort of thing that would put even her out of commission as a captain, for a longer time than she’s pleased with. There’s a reason she and Gabriel only had one kid, and even that had to do with him missing her when she was away, and needing to have someone close by. Supposing, though, that Kendra agreed (some years later, and partly because of her daughter begging for a baby brother or sister) to have one, possibly even two more children. But this would have changed the trajectory of her later career a lot, not just because of all the raids she wouldn’t have gone on. There’s also the kids and their education, and the deals she would have made with other captains to get each of them a position. And with more than one kid around, Christabel might have decided not even to go into piracy at all. So you see, there’s a ripple effect. 

7. Parents - Corval - mother.

Marguerite’s mother is named Solange. She’s… rather older than people expect, judging from her daughter’s age. She married late and only had one child, a good few years into her marriage. Her position with the (previous) Empress effectively estranged her from her siblings and the rest of her family, but they have a number of very successful shipping enterprises and a great deal of land, and she grew up very wealthy. She wanted to be closer to the heart of things, though. Her parents, her father especially, were as close as Corval nobles can come to being politically uninvolved. The greater family line has a remarkably high life expectancy for this very reason (also, good genes). 

They didn’t intend to push her away, but being so close to the Empress and tending to her caprice and her tempers is… pretty much a full-time job, plus overtime. Solange was always charming, though, and she excelled at the popular court game of appearing to be all sweetness and light, while hiding a dagger in one hand and a passive-aggressive jab in the other. The Empress adored her, and would have married her into the Imperial line, if she could have figured out a way to do it. Instead Solange remained more-or-less happily single, and at her beck and call. Until she selected a minor noble from the Revaire ambassador’s service to marry her off to, ostensibly to create stronger international ties. 

Solange knows her duty, and Marguerite has always been her consolation. Not sure how she’s gonna feel about her daughter attempting to marry into the new Revaire royalty. Ambition, she can understand, for sure. But she sent her daughter away because she wanted her to go someplace safer, not to the one royal court in all the lands that’s actually worse than the pit of vipers she calls home. 

11. Parents - Jiyel.

Periwinkle and Magnolia’s mother does not come from a noble line. She was a scholar at the royal university. Her mother was a scribe, and worked fifteen hours a day taking letters at the marketplace before she got a fixed position working at the university’s post office. Her mother made ink for a living. So, classic social climbers, and no one has better cause than them to believe in the mythical Jiyel meritocracy. Fern reared her daughters on the belief that if they worked hard and applied themselves, they would be rewarded for it. Their father is still waiting on his name, but most of what’s important about him has to do with his wife and his daughters. His family is noble, sure, but not large or old or influential enough to cause a proper scandal when he essentially married the secretary’s daughter. He adores Fern, in his own weird and understated way. He loves his studies and his garden, and he’s incredibly proud of both his daughters. 

12. Parents - Revaire.

I write a great deal about Oswald and Flora in the opening part of Allegra’s story, which I’ve been working on lately. The long and short of it is, Flora was not only a beautiful girl and a great flirt, but also an exceptionally vibrant personality. Oswald met her when he was away from home, and his mother wasn’t around to curb him, so he fell hard and fast and they were quickly engaged. The early years of their marriage were quite a whirlwind, and even Allegra has a few good memories from then, before the other kids were born. Oswald is very clever, but impulsive and totally unrealistic. Flora is vain and capricious. The relationship between her and Allegra was often strained, firstly because of their violently opposed natures, and second because Allegra takes strongly after Katherine, Oswald’s mother. Who detested Flora from day one. Their mother-daughter relationship is pretty much a lost cause, by now. But the kids either raised themselves or were raised by Allegra, and Allegra herself benefited from the patronage of both her grandmother and her Aunt Geraldine (the nun). 

On her good days, though, Flora can be soft and warm and kind. Deep down in her gooey center there is a very small seed of the only positive legacy Allegra got from her mother. That, and the curly hair. Chases all have straight dark hair, and dark eyes. Allegra has the Chase nose and chin, which is rather awkward on a lady. The most obvious family resemblance, other than her father, is with Ursa (fourth sister) and Nicky (fifth overall, first son). She doesn’t look a thing like Katherine, though, because Katherine didn’t come from an old blood Revaire family. 

[onlynot]

Teen Wolf - a summary

October 13, 2011 by (https://www.sarahreesbrennan.com/2011/10/teen-wolf/)

So, my resolution to blog more! How about blogging hilarious TV? I have rarely seen TV more hilarious than Teen Wolf.

I will give any show with elements of ze supernatural a chance, because I love me some fantasy. The basic premise of this show seems to be: People sure do like that Twilight! If we did a show all about werewolves, it would just be about the shirtless dudes in Twilight, and SURELY everyone would like that.

Fine by me, as I am devoted to The Vampire Diaries, also building on the popularity of Twilight. I was excited!

I watched half the pilot, and myself and the roomie gave up in disgust. Then a few months passed… I heard there was an actual gay character (In a supernatural show? Not a metaphor? Not subtext? An actual gay character? Actually?)… we gave it another try. Had our standards lowered, had we gone mad, did it get better? Who can say. But we watched the whole season.

Without further ado I present to you the tale of the Most Useless Werewolf In the World, and the People Who (Inexplicably) Love Him.

WELCOME TO BEACON HILLS

POPULATION: 2375. SHIRTS: 4. LACROSSE FANS: 2375 (there was one dude in Beacon Hills who wasn’t a lacrosse fan, but the werewolves killed that guy.)

SCOTT MCCALL: Our hapless protagonist. Severely asthmatic. Dumb as a box of rocks. Does not own a shirt. STILES: Obligatory genre-savvy best friend of protagonist. Is on meds for ADHD, super smart but cannot focus in class. Owns all the shirts in town. Never shares. SARAH: appreciates the fact that there are reasons for these kids to be loners, rather than ‘too deep to fit in.’

JACKSON: Minor antagonist. Captain of the lacrosse team! LACROSSE is very big in California. Dumb as a box of slightly more intelligent rocks than Scott’s. LYDIA: his beautiful mean-girl girlfriend. Sekritly smart but pretending not to be to please him. (Lydiaaaaaa.)

ALLISON: beautiful new girl in town. Family has lots of weapons. Surname Argent. SCOTT: … does not speak French.

SCOTT: I got bit by a wolf and now I am awesome at lacrosse! Rule! STILES: This is lycanthropy, Scott. SCOTT: OH MY GOD, IS THAT SERIOUS? WILL I GET A RASH?

SCOTT: Couldn’t help but use new super hearing to discover you need a PENCIL, new girl? ALLISON: I like you. You have a certain animal magnetism. SCOTT: Rule.

JACKSON: So you are suddenly awesome at sports, and kind of aggressive. Where are you buying the juice? SCOTT: My mom does all our grocery shopping?

TALL, DARK MYSTERIOUS STRANGER: *looms* SCOTT: Who that? STILES: Derek Hale. Few years older than us? Of the Hale family…? Who all died except Derek and his sister, who were in school when the house was burned down around their family by arsonists who were never caught? That’s why his face looks like that all the time. DEREK: 🙁 SCOTT: House that burned down six years ago, leaving many dead, terrified orphans, unsolved arson case, and a burned-out manor in the woods? Don’t remember that… STILES: Seriously? You are my best friend, and my dad is the sheriff. Everyone in a small town would know this. SCOTT: … Not ringing a bell…

STILES: I seriously suggest that you do not go to this party on full moon night. SCOTT: No. I must go on a date with Allison. IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. STILES: More important than people’s lives? SCOTT: As my friend you must try to understand my priorities, no matter how dumb or sociopathic they may be.

SCOTT: I am a wolf. This is so awkward. DEREK: Allison, you look like you need a lift home. STILES: Allison, just checking you got home okay. ALLISON: I’m touched by the concern for my safety shown by all the boys who WEREN’T my dates to the party.

SCOTT: I am a wolf. This is so awkward. DEREK: Please attempt to not get shot by these hunters. I will protect you. SCOTT: You are also a werewolf! OMG! You bit me! You jerk! Oh my god, people are shooting at me! I’m so mad in so many directions and I have so many questions! First of course is, how will this affect my relationship with Allison, the werewolf hunters’ daughter? Did she talk about me on the car ride home? DEREK: 🙁

STILES: We must deal with this problem! SCOTT: Do you think I should send Allison flowers? STILES: No… the werewolf problem… STILES: Scott, come with me and help me find the dead body buried in Derek’s yard and then I will summon my father the sheriff! DEREK: No, see, that is my sister. SCOTT: … Sick, dude. DEREK: Someone ELSE killed her. Someone ELSE bit you. A DIFFERENT WEREWOLF. And my sister was my ALPHA, i.e. the boss of me. And now there is a new alpha, i.e. the boss of us, and we are betas and we need to team up and defeat our evil wolf overlord! SCOTT: I do not want to. DEREK: And I will help you be a werewolf. SCOTT: … Then I can date Allison! DEREK: 🙁

DEREK: Due to the fact that physical aggression and other physical stuff could turn you into a wolflike monster that will kill people, I suggest you do not play lacrosse or date Allison. STILES: Due to the wolfishness, maybe cool it on the lacrosse and dating? SCOTT: I REFUSE. WITHOUT ALLISON AND LACROSSE, LIFE HAS NO MEANING.

JACKSON: Oh my God, Scott is even good at bowling. LIFE HAS NO MEANING. JACKSON: … I must know his dark, bowling-prowess-related secret. It is my no. 1 priority! LYDIA: I wonder if they put ‘bad taste in men’ in the Beacon Hills water.

SCOTT: I am so filled with angst at the unreasonableness of my friends. COACH: What is it McCall? Is it a girl? SCOTT: Noooooot exactly. COACH: Oh okay. So, Jackson’s best friend Danny is single and into dudes? He is a hot guy. And a great goalie. Keep it in the team, you know what I’m saying. SCOTT: It’s cool. COACH: You cannot do better than Danny, son.

STILES: I will train you to be a werewolf, Derek is an ass. DEREK: 🙁 My face is just stuck this way. 🙁

SCOTT: *knocks out Danny in wolfy lacrosse throes* JACKSON: NOT MY BFF. I WILL END YOU. EVERYONE ELSE: Danny? That is so uncool. STILES: Scott, I have figured out that Allison’s voice dewolfs you! STILES: Also, Danny? That is so uncool. STILES: Do you think Danny likes me? Am I attractive to gay guys? SCOTT: This show is not called Teen Sidekick. Let us discuss MY problems ONLY. JACKSON: *is a better friend than Scott*

JACKSON: I don’t want to watch the Notebook again, Lydia. JACKSON: Hey video clerk, I need the Notebook… Oh. I see you’ve been brutally murdered by a werewolf. Awkward. Time to faint and have the werewolf claw at my neck? Yes indeed. DEREK: We must deal with this evil werewolf menace. SCOTT: What rhymes with ‘Allison’? DEREK: 🙁

BLOND VICTIM LADY: drivin’ along, dead of night, wind in my hair, werewolf on the roof… BLOND VICTIM LADY: Must stop to freshen makeup and go after werewolf with bazooka. BLOND VICTIM LADY: *actually Allison’s Aunt Kate*

AUNT KATE: *pursues werewolves, shoots Derek with wolfsbane bullet* DEREK: My life. 🙁

DEREK: *faint from gunshot wound* Must find Scott. He will help me. JACKSON: Scott is useless. DEREK: Buddy, nobody is more aware of that than me, but I am out of options okay. 🙁 JACKSON: I presume due to leather jacket AND stubble that you are Scott’s drug dealer? What are you selling Scott? DEREK: I am either going to kill you or faint. JACKSON: You should quit sampling the merchandise.

STILES: JESUS CHRIST, IT’S A SICKLY WEREWOLF! GET IN THE CAR. DEREK: Scott, I need your help. You must go to Allison’s house and find the bullets used to shoot me so I may cure myself. SCOTT: That will be my second priority. My first is impressing Allison’s parents and Aunt Kate. I LOVE ALLISON. DEREK: I am dying. 🙁 STILES: I am driving a dying dude around in my car. 🙁 STILES: Can I drop you off anywhere? DEREK: I will rip your throat out with my teeth. 🙁 STILES: You are such an alarming person. 🙁 SCOTT: What beautiful chintz curtains, Mr and Mrs Werewolf Hunter! You have a lovely home. I am happy to sit and chat all day.

DEREK: Okay, I’m ripping off my shirt. STILES: Oh, of course. I know how werewolves like to do that. Is it for angsty showering in your jeans? I know werewolves enjoy that occupation greatly. Is it for a lingering locker room shot? Is it to celebrate Tuesday? DEREK: You are the only person in this town who is ever useful, and thus I would like you to chainsaw off my arm. STILES: … Scott never asks me to do this… STILES: I am not accustomed to this new alarming shirtlessness. STILES: You are such an alarming person. 🙁 DEREK: JUST CHAINSAW OFF MY ARM!!!!!! 🙁 DEREK AND STILES: Our lives are terrible. 🙁 🙁

SCOTT: After a lingering dinner, I have located the bullet in Aunt Kate’s bag. AUNT KATE: Who the hell went through my bag? SCOTT: !!!! ALLISON: Me. Wanted condoms. SCOTT: I could not be happier about this on so many levels. STILES AND DEREK: BOY ARE WE PLEASED TO SEE YOU.

STILES: So Danny, how is Jackson after seeing a brutal murder? Did he see any evidence werewolves are real? DANNY: He is traumatised and you are crazy. STILES: Do you think I am hot? DANNY: … crazy.

STILES: Lydia how are you feeling? LYDIA: Medicated! STILES: So you will have no recollection of this conversation? LYDIA: None at all! STILES: Is there any chance you could ever love me? LYDIA: None at all! STILES: Do you have a problem with me deleting incriminating pictures of werewolves off your phone? LYDIA: None at all!

AUNT KATE: Hey, any werewolves working out in this burned-out mansion? DEREK: 🙁 AUNT KATE: Derek, meet tazer. AUNT KATE: Whoa, Derek the werewolf, way to grow up hot. Should I kill you or lick you? DEREK: 🙁 AUNT KATE: I looooooooove torturing werewolves with tazers. DEREK: *escapes through woods* DEREK’S SHIRT: *does not escape*

SCOTT AND ALLISON: While all this plot stuff is happening to other people, we are talking a lovers’ stroll in the woods! DEREK AND STILES: Oh, take your time, guys.

SCOTT, ALLISON, DEREK, LYDIA, JACKSON & STILES: *rounded up and trapped in darkened school by Alpha* STILES: At least Derek, the other active character in this plot, is here. ALPHA: *rips out Derek’s lungs* DEREK: 🙁 STILES: Just me then. Forever alone. LYDIA: I can make Molotov cocktails? JACKSON: Baby, I will mess up your making of Molotov cocktails so we are totally defenceless. ALLISON: I wish I had my crossbow. ALLISON AND LYDIA: *would clearly be good characters if freed from the tyranny of strictly romantic storylines with the two dumbest dudes on the show* SARAH: Free Allison and Lydia!

SCOTT: I can explain everything. SCOTT: … DEREK HALE IS THE KILLER. STILES: NEVER TALK AGAIN. ALLISON: Scott, you are clearly lying and involved in shady business, so, Imma break up with you.

JACKSON: I am all sweaty and pale and weird from my werewolf clawing! Allison… I really like you. ALLISON: Oh my God. JACKSON: And Scott. I really, really like Scott. ALLISON: You are obviously high. JACKSON: Let’s all be frienz.

STILES: Scott, will you find out if maybe Lydia could ever be attracted to me? SCOTT: You are my best friend, and you have saved me from both death and murder of all my loved ones many, many times. You are the most awesome friend. I will totally do this. SCOTT: And by ‘talk to Lydia’ you meant ‘make out with Lydia myself’ right? STILES: 🙁

STILES: I’ve come to visit Scott, and I have brought bondage gear. *cuffs best friend to radiator* SCOTT’S MOM: You kids play nice. STILES: I’m still mad, but I don’t want you to kill people. I really am the most awesome friend. I’m going to stand guard now, listening to you growl and howl, with my head in my hands. STILES: … also my mom’s dead. SCOTT: Uh, are you not aware that Allison broke up with me? Why does it have to be all about YOUR pain all the time? God. *breaks out of chains*

DEREK: Hey I’m alive! And saving Scott from killing his girlfriend while a crazed wolf. Scott, has this experience made you rethink any of your life decisions? SCOTT: I don’t know what you’re talking about. DEREK: 🙁 SCOTT: By the way, I told the whole town you were a psychopathic murderer. DEREK: 🙁 🙁 🙁

STILES: Derek what are you doing in my bedroom? DEREK: I have to hide out here, because I’m a fugitive. STILES: MY DAD IS THE SHERIFF! Wouldn’t Scott’s house make more sense? DEREK: Scott is writing sonnets about Allison right now. He may put them to music later. 🙁

DON’T MAKE HIM GO BACK THERE.

SHERIFF: Son… your first lacrosse game where you actually get to play is on later today. I am so excited. STILES: DUN COME IN MAH ROOM! YES.. I AM EXCITED TOO… HUGS NOW SERIOUSLY LEAVE. SHERIFF: What kind of crazy porn is the kid watching in there?

STILES: So I’m going to look into the text that lured us all to school to be murdered that day. Who sent it? My lab partner has mad hacking skills I WILL make him use to find out. DANNY: I absolutely will not use my hacking skills. Who is that guy hanging out in your room? STILES: He’s not a fugitive. If that’s why you’re looking at him. He’s not a wanted killer. He’s my cousin… Miguel… DANNY: He’s got blood on his shirt. STILES: FROM NOSEBLEEDS. Change your shirt, Miguel. DANNY: ohhhh myyyyyyyyy god. STILES: … I’ve just had a brilliant idea.

STILES: You know that scene where the femme fatale distracts the dude for the con? Congrats Derek! You are the femme fatale. DEREK: 🙁 STILES: Try on every shirt in my wardrobe. DEREK: THEY ARE ALL TOO TIGHT. 🙁 STILES: Is that so? You surprise me! Proceed. DANNY: OH MY GOD, COMING OVER TO YOUR HOUSE IS AWESOME. STILES: Work it, tiger. So, Danny, about those hacking skills? DEREK: 🙁 STILES: My house, my rules. DANNY: Your house rules.

The rules are that you can leave your hat on, werewolf. Oh, what’s that? You’re not wearing a hat?

DANNY: Scott’s mom was the one who sent Scott the text. Radically exciting news. STILES: Scott’s mom lured us to the school? … Scott’s MOM is an evil werewolf? Um. Thanks, Danny! Later, Danny. DANNY: LATER MIGUEL. DEREK: 🙁

STILES: Scott’s mom can’t be the werewolf! DEREK: So who do you think it was using her phone from the hospital where she works? My fire-scarred comatose Uncle Peter? STILES: To the hospital, let us investigate! SCOTT: I don’t understand why you’re not coming to the game, Stiles. STILES: Because people dying is more important than lacrosse. SCOTT: … I don’t understand what you mean when you say that… DEREK: I do, though. 🙁 STILES: Are we having a beautiful moment? DEREK: No! Because you made me feel CHEAP earlier. 🙁 *bangs Stiles’s head against steering wheel*

STILES: Ahahaha, so the alpha IS your comatose Uncle Peter. DEREK: Well, crap. I was only saying that to be ironic. 🙁 CRAZY UNCLE PETER: All the aunts and uncles on this show are crazy. DEREK: Stiles, run! STILES: I absolutely will. I’ll get Scott! DEREK: That is such a sweet thought. But Scott is useless. 🙁

JACKSON: I’ve worked out you’re a werewolf! MAKE ME A WEREWOLF TOO. BITE ME, BITE ME, BITE ME… SCOTT: Augh! It doesn’t work that way! Augh! JACKSON: Yeah well make it work or I will make sweet love to your lady. SCOTT: NO! Not my LADY! JACKSON: Yep. I will do her someplace you will hear with your super wolf hearing and you will hear every moan and pant we make and… STILES: What is up, bro? SCOTT: Um, Jackson’s… talking dirty to me?

JACKSON: Bite me bite me bite any bit of exposed skin you like bite me bite me. DEREK: The schoolboys in this town will not stop hitting on me. 🙁 And I have enough problems already.

Jackson is being very inappropriate today.

ALLISON: I’m so done feeling helpless and as if people, such as my boyfriend and entire family, are keeping life-threatening secrets from me. I am going to practise my crossbow skills. LYDIA: I will come too! SARAH: Free Allison and Lydia!

Oh Allison. I know Teen Wolf is killing you. Allison! Your aim is true.

DEREK: I am evil now. Yep… totally evil. You and I should probably team up… with my evil Uncle Peter, until such time as we can catch him unawares. SCOTT: YOU MONSTER. DEREK: 🙁

JACKSON: Derek I’m in your burned out manor bite me bite me bite me bite me- DEREK: KID, I SWEAR TO GOD- SCOTT: Unhand him you MONSTER. HUNTERS: Oh hi. DEREK: Run, kids! AUNT KATE: Oh look, I have shot Derek, and I intend to keep him chained up in my basement. And electrocute him. And lick him. DEREK: MY LIFE. 🙁

JACKSON: Lydia, once I am a werewolf I won’t need a girlfriend! Welcome to Dumped-So-I-Can-Spend-Time-In-The-Woods-With-Shirtless-Dudes-Ville, population you. ALLISON: Lydia, since you macked on Scott, be a friend and take Stiles to the dance? STILES: Yay! My life is finally looking up! Finally! LYDIA: I love Jackson sooooooo much. STILES: Or not. UNCLE PETER: How’s about I lure Lydia out to the lacrosse pitch and savage her? STILES: OR NOT. 🙁

ALLISON: I wish somebody would tell me the plot of the TV show I am in! AUNT KATE: We’re werewolf hunters, Allison. Check out this werewolf. Isn’t he hot? I’m torturing him, and it is super fun! DEREK: 🙁 ALLISON: … I retract my wish.

AUNT KATE: Electrocute, knife, lick abs, electrocute… AUNT KATE: Remember when you were fifteen and I seduce-molested you, and you thought we were in love, and I used you to locate your family, and then burned your whole family horribly to death? DEREK: 🙁 AUNT KATE: Goooooood times.

This is why Derek’s face always looks like this. Derek wishes everyone would just cut it out.

SCOTT: I’m not allowed to be at this dance because I am failing all my classes! Danny–please, please dance with me. COACH: You’re not allowed to- EVERYONE IN SCHOOL: *deathglare* COACH: LOVELY TO SEE SUCH HAPPINESS. Dance, children. Dance. DANNY’S BOYFRIEND: Uh, step off my man. DANNY: Look, guys throw themselves into my arms 24/7 around here. We are the number two town for shirtlessness in America, for God’s sake! I can’t help it. Don’t hate the player: hate the game.

SCOTT: Now I can dance with Allison! As Stiles pleads for Lydia’s life on the lacrosse pitch, and Derek is tortured by his molester for the 3rd consecutive episode, I am sure everyone is totally invested in this romantical moment. ALLISON: Scott I have something important and plot-relevant to say about werew… SCOTT: Shhh, honey. Shhhh.

ALL THE GIRLS IN TEEN WOLF: are wasted. Teen Wolf, be better than this.

UNCLE PETER: Help me find Derek or I kill you. STILES: How do you expect me to do this? UNCLE PETER: You’re the only smart person on the show. STILES: A fair point. Okay, but help for Lydia first! OR YOU CAN JUST KILL ME. UNCLE PETER: Smarts and a moral compass. I like you. STILES: I don’t want werewolves to like me. 🙁 STILES: … Except Scott, obviously.

STILES: Okay, I’m going to break into Scott’s computer to get Derek’s phone number to trace him via GPS… UNCLE PETER: Scott’s user name is Allison? … Scott’s password is also Allison? STILES: Still want him in your pack?

UNCLE PETER: You know, I am Crazy Uncle Peter, but I am not this crazy. I totes wish I had bitten you instead, Stiles. SARAH: AND SO SAY ALL OF US. UNCLE PETER: Can I bite you? Can I can I can I bite you? STILES: Um… no… thank you? UNCLE PETER: I know you want it. STILES: No… thank you… very much?

BEACON HILLS: no. 2 for shirtlessness. no. 1 for inappropriate physical contact, often of a bitey nature.

SCOTT: Derek, I found you in Allison’s basement, mostly by accident! Let me unchain you. DEREK: Oh, thank you, Scott. At last I have a friend and ally who- SCOTT: First promise me to protect Allison’s family from Uncle Peter. DEREK: Let me get this straight – a condition of my freedom is to protect the woman who molested me and massacred my entire family? SCOTT: I <3 Allison! DEREK: ... You unbelievable jerk. 🙁 STILES: I must go save the day, I sense a confrontation with evil is imminent, and Scott is entirely helpless without me due to his non-functioning brain. JACKSON: I will help you! Trust me! ALLISON'S DAD: Who is the other werewolf and where are they all? STILES: Pardon me, Mr Crazy? I know not these 'werewolves' of which you sp- JACKSON: I WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING. STILES: Oh for the love of God. ALLISON AND AUNT KATE: Werewolf hunting is a go! UNCLE PETER: Killing Aunt Kate is a go! UNCLE PETER: Sorry Allison, but she really was a bitch. SCOTT: Allison, we are both totally about to get et by Uncle Peter. So it's important for me to take this time to tell you that I love you very, very much. STILES: I AM HERE AND I BROUGHT MOLOTOV COCKTAILS! Lydia is more useful than Scott and Jackson, and she is unconscious for the entire episode! JACKSON: I'm here too... ALLISON AND STILES: Molotov cocktails and crossbow prowess unite! UNCLE PETER: *burns* DEREK: I'm going to kill him now. SCOTT: Derek no, if I kill him it might reverse my werewolf curse! Or it might make me the alpha and boss of you... DEREK: I cannot contemplate a future in which you are the alpha. *kills* AUDIENCE: I cannot blame Derek for a single, solitary moment. ALLISON: Daddy please don't kill my boyfriiiiiiiend. We already killed the bad werewolf. ALLISON'S DAD: Well, this is underwhelming. STILES: So Lydia is not dying or transforming, which means some other supernatural crap that I, of course who else, must solve. It is always me. JACKSON: Hey Derek I am trespassing in your home again bite me bite me bite me- DEREK: I just killed my last living relative and I am feeling a little unstable. 🙂 JACKSON: ... What is that? I have never seen your face do that before. SCOTT AND ALLISON: The viewers will be relieved to know that we love each other very, very much! VIEWERS: are very much hoping to see a progression in Scott and Allison’s relationship in the next season.