#new friend told me i was very passionate about this topic in class and like yes i am bc family drama in stories are never black and white &

[fluffypotatey]

hm, it appears i am still not over a silly annoyance from earlier today

[bluejay-writes]

MysticTober 2024 Day 8/9: His Muse

You can read this over on Ao3 if you’d prefer.

Rating: T

Prompt: Jihyun x MC / Painting || Fate / Lie

WordCount: 8028

Summary: Jihyun needs a muse for his new painting collection. Author's Notes: So, Day 8 got away from me and became both that and day 9. Sorry it's a day late... but not sorry it's over 8000 words.

Hen knocked on the studio door, then stood and fidgeted nervously with the strings of her hoodie. She’d replied to this advertisement on the Art Department’s bulletin board for a model, specifically one who could stand for long periods of time without moving. Honestly, she was pretty sure that most people these days just took reference photos and painted from that, but if some student wanted to pay her an exorbitant-seeming amount of money to stand in one place with her clothes on (the ad had been very specific that while there would be an outfit provided, it was modest), she wasn’t about to complain.

Her friends had been on her case about applying. She’d always wanted to be a model, but she wasn’t model material. She was in that nebulous middle-point, Far too big to be a classic fashion model, but still too small to be an acceptable plus-size model. And she didn’t hate her body by any means. So she let them nag her into it. She’d sent what the flier asked for. Her name (preferred, even, not even her wallet name) and then a headshot and a full body shot. She’d tried to be as confident as she could while her friends took photos for her, but even now, having landed the job, she was nervous.

What if he was a creep? Art students could be anyone really, and…

The door opened to reveal a man in wire-frame glasses with teal hair and eyes and a warm smile. Wait a minute… 

“V?!” Hen had studied his pictures for one of her photography classes, they’d done a unit on current artists, and…

He chuckled looking chagrined. “Call me Jihyun, please.” He led her inside and shut the studio door again before continuing. “V did photos. I’m… well, I’ve moved on from that and I’m pursuing painting, which has been my passion far longer, though I didn’t have the guts to change mediums until recently.”

“Oh.” Hen said, just as awkwardly as she felt. “I didn’t mean to be rude, I…”

“Not rude.” Jihyun interrupted. “I was V. I am still, technically, that same man. I simply am using my given name now.” 

He sighed, and shook himself loose from whatever thought seemed to be plaguing him. “We got off on the wrong foot.” He held out his hand for her to shake. “Hi, I’m Jihyun Kim, the artist who will be painting you for the next few hours.”

She took his hand with a grin and a firm shake. “I’m Hen. And I’m very good at standing still.”

The outfit that he’d chosen for her to wear was very fantasy. Flowing skirts, a corseted belt over a lightweight top. She felt like a peasant girl in a magic world, and she loved it. He’d positioned her standing at a window, and she’d gotten to people-watch campus while he painted her. She’d expected a need to be quiet or mostly still, but he told her to go ahead and fidget if she needed to, and kept her engaged in a number of different light topics as he worked, almost as though he was trying to keep her entertained.

Eventually, as the light was waning, Jihyun stood. “Alright, that’s time. Thank you so much for all of your help today.” He smiled. “Do you need assistance with the belt or anything else getting back out of the costume?”

Hen waved him off. “Nah, I’m good. Give me two shakes and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Once she was back to her normal self, she was sad to see that Jihyun had already closed up his work, so that she couldn’t see it. He immediately spotted her looking, however.

“I’ll show you when it’s done. I was intending to invite you to whatever gallery it shows in, of course, as the model.”

Hen grinned. “It would be my honor!”

Jihyun handed her the envelope containing her payment, all smiles. “Honestly, Miss Hen, you’re an amazing model. May I call on you again for another piece? Same terms, but the next one likely won’t be standing.”

Hen nodded, she’d had a great time, and the pay was definitely worth it. “I’d love to.” She said, honestly. “I enjoyed today!”

Jihyun nodded, and they parted ways. Hen couldn’t help but smile, her friends were going to be so surprised when she told them she might even get a callback.

The second time that Hen stood as a model for Jihyun had her sitting on a bench in an awkward position. It was uncomfortable at first, but she made it work. Eventually, Jihyun admitted to her that the piece involved the woman sitting in a tree, but he couldn’t justify making her sit somewhere ostensibly dangerous for hours on end, so he’d made the bench setup like the branch he had in mind. Once he explained that to her, she found it much easier to settle into a pose that was actually useful for him.

She may have caught him grumbling to himself about wasting less time if he could just trust her more. She didn’t blame him, of course, Artists were often secretive, and she knew it was hard to trust someone you didn’t really know. Goodness knows she’d only met this man twice and definitely didn’t trust him with anything personal, so she didn’t blame him. Not even a little.

When the time was up and Jihyun started cleaning up, Hen realized she was stiff as she changed back out of the costume. 

“Hey, Jihyun, do you mind if I do some stretches on the floor here before I head out? I’m a little bit stiff.”

“Ah. Go right ahead. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Your stiffness is the consequence of my art, after all.

Hen sank to the ground, grateful that she’d worn leggings today instead of jeans. She worked her way through some yoga poses, careful of the fact that she didn’t have a mat of any variety, only realizing she was humming as she finished the last of the stretches because of Jihyun’s quiet chuckle.

“I’m glad you’re so comfortable in my studio.” He said, chuckling. 

Hen blushed even as she nodded. “You make it easy, Jihyun. This is by far the highlight of my week.”

“Even with the odd held poses?” He was surprised.

“Even so.” Hen nodded. “I’d be honored if you wanted to call me in again.”

Jihyun smiled so brightly at that, Hen couldn’t help but smile in return.

The next sitting was more stereotypical, and Hen couldn’t hold back her giggles as Jihyun helped her pose in a very Ancient Grecian looking gauzy dress while half-laying on a chaise lounge.

“What is it?”

“It’s just… if you told someone they were going to model for a painting, they’d probably imagine something like this.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Yes, I suppose it might be. I hope that the outcome of the painting far exceeds my pedestrian posing layouts.

“I’m certain it will.” Hen had no doubts that the man had an impressive artistic eye - his photographs were stunning enough that she’d written an entire paper on them her freshman semester of college. Sure, her major had nothing to do with art, but one didn’t see one of V’s photos and not know the man was gifted. “If nothing else, Jihyun, it’s fine to have one simpler piece in a collection.”

He chuckled, and Hen settled in to hold her position. It was surprisingly comfortable, and she knew it wasn’t going to be too difficult, especially because he was good about giving her breaks.

For the first time in their sessions, Jihyun was quiet and focused on the painting, which gave Hen time to think about everything going on in her classes, in life, in that book she was reading… eventually she started to feel sleepy. She knew she should say something, get up and take a walk, get some water, anything so that she didn’t cause a problem for Jihyun.

Instead, she found herself drifting off to sleep while watching him paint with the most blissfully calm look on his face that she’d ever seen on another human being.

What felt like a blink and also an eternity later, Hen woke to the soft shake of a shoulder, Jihyun crouched down next to her.

“Hey, Miss Hen.”

She startled, coming to consciousness all at once. “Oh, no, Jihyun! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep!”

“It’s alright, you held the pose I needed, and you just looked so happy I couldn’t bear to wake you. Good dreams, I hope?”

Hen shook her head, holding a hand to her chest to will her heart to calm down from its momentary panic. “No dreams. One minute I was watching you paint, and the next you were waking me up. I feel insanely well rested though. Probably going to be up late tonight.” She chuckled.

“Hm, I should have been responsible and woken you.” He sighed, but continued before Hen could argue. “Would you let me take you to dinner as an apology?”

“What time is it?” Hen asked, sitting up properly so she could stretch the sleep out of her bones.

“Just about six.” Jihyun said, backing up to give her space.

“I could do dinner, I don’t have any other plans.” She said, and the smile that bloomed across his face warmed her soul. Yeah, she’d do a lot just to see that smile more.

Dinner was lovely. They went to a little hole-in-the-wall bibimbap restaurant that seemed to know Jihyun well, but wasn’t so expensive as to make Hen feel out of place. It was even on an easy bus route home again, so she wasn’t even particularly going out of her way, either.

They chatted over dinner about this and that, nothing important, the same calm, cheerful kinds of conversations that they usually had while he was painting. That just cemented for Hen that Jihyun was just like that and he wasn’t just chatting to keep her from getting bored. It made her wonder why he wasn’t chatty during their session today, but by the time they got to a break in conversation where she might have asked, she’d already forgotten.

When the bill came, Hen snatched it away before Jihyun could pick it up, and handed the whole bill to their waitress - a granny who she suspected was simply the owner of the place - with a smile. The granny even turned a look on Jihyun like she was surprised he was letting her pay. Jihyun looked stunned. “Hen, you don’t need to buy my dinner.”

“But I want to.” She smiled. “We’re friends, now, right?”

Jihyun smiled in that way that made her feel alight, and she blushed and fidgeted with her hoodie strings. By the time she realized it, the granny had gone and come back… and she was only paying for her half of dinner. Jihyun smirked at her, and Hen wondered if she’d been played. As they packed up to leave, Jihyun’s phone started ringing, and his face took on an ominous look.

“Sorry, you head on home, I have to take this… and it might be awhile.”

Hen nodded and waved, waving again to the granny on her way out.

That had been a fun dinner. She hoped his phone call wasn’t too painful.

It had been a few months since Hen sat for Jihyun, and almost as long since she’d heard from the man. She’d thought it was Fate when they met and hit it off that well, even just professionally, but then he’d disappeared. Hen tried to convince herself that it was fine, but at this point even she would admit she was moping. She really enjoyed his company, and couldn’t help but feel like she’d done something wrong. Had accepting his dinner invitation been too forward? But she’d even paid for her own meal… Hen had been worrying about this, of course, for weeks now, with only her coursework to keep her mind occupied and off of her presumed faux pas, whatever it might be. And unfortunately, winter break had just started so she had an entire month to mope about and worry about a problem with no guarantee of resolution.

At least she had her favorite coffee shop to curl up and read in. She usually got tea, but today she splurged on an extra sugary coffee drink, and the woman behind the counter chuckled. “Am I celebrating with you or commiserating, Hen?”

“Ugh.” Hen grumbled. 

“Commiserating it is!” The woman behind the counter quietly put an extra pump of caramel into the drink - Hen didn’t comment, not sure if it was intentional, but she wasn’t going to turn down more caramel goodness.

An hour or so later, Hen’s reading was interrupted by someone sitting down across from her. She ignored them for a moment, but when they didn’t move she put her bookmark in and looked up, only to let out a surprised squeak as she realized the person sitting there was none other than Jihyun, patiently waiting for her to pause.

Before she could say anything, the woman behind the counter appeared and set a coffee down in front of him. “Don’t scare away my regulars, Jihyun.” She said sternly, then returned behind the counter.

Before Hen could say anything, Jihyun immediately spoke up.

“I’m so glad that I found you.” He winced. “I threw my phone in the ocean in a fit of temper. Did you know that there is such a thing as backing up your contacts? I… did not do this thing. And as such, I had to simply hope to run into you. It took some time.”

He slid a brand new phone across the table to her. “My friend set it up so I can’t do that again, even if I do something as stupid as throwing my phone into the ocean again. May I have your number again?”

Hen sighed, and immediately added herself as a contact. “So you’re saying you didn’t respond to my texts not because you were upset with me, but because you didn’t know who they were from?” She looked over at her phone as the message she sent herself pinged in as an unknown number.

Jihyun had the grace to look embarrassed. “I needed a new number.”

“Did something happen?” Hen added his new number to her contacts, and changed the old one to read “Davy Jones’ Locker”, just in case some fish tried to text her later.

Jihyun sighed. “The unreasonable unbelievable drama that is my life simply continues to happen.” He took a sip of his drink and sighed happily. Jaehee could really make a mean latte.

Hen chuckled. “Everyone’s got some weird rats in their closet, I swear. I’m glad you reappeared, I was worried.”

“You were?” His eyes lit up for a moment, but then dimmed. “I’m sorry, Miss Hen. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Hey, it’s fine, you reappeared before I could mope myself into a corner.”

“Why would you be moping?” Jihyun was clearly confused.

“Well, I mean, I bullied my way into paying for my own dinner and then you disappeared. I was sure I’d said something stupid, or maybe that I shouldn’t have gone to dinner.”

“God, no, Hen. That dinner was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time, I just had to leave for a trip the next morning…”

“His not wanting you to pay is just some misplaced chivalry.” The counter lady said, stopping by to leave a to-go cup refill of Hen’s coffee. “This one’s on the house. For celebrating this time, and for putting up with him.” She winked, and Jihyun looked scandalized.

“Jaehee! Are you buying my… are you buying Hen’s loyalty with coffee now?”

The woman - Jaehee apparently - cackled. “Yes.” The look she was wearing told Hen that she had no idea what their relationship was, and was assuming all kinds of things that Hen didn’t want to have to be the one to dissuade her from.

“Listen…” Jihyun took a deep breath. “Between the trip and needing to find you back, I’m way behind on painting work, and the gallery’s already booked. You wouldn’t happen to be… staying in town for winter break? I could book you… a lot… if you had time.” He looked like he expected her to say no, like he was already letting himself down before she could.

“I’m so game.” she said, laughing awkwardly. “I have, well, nothing going on for the next month until classes start up again.”

“No family events, or friend things, or…” Jihyun looked surprised. 

“Nope. Just lil ol me and my TBR.”

“TBR?”

“To Be Read. All the books I haven’t read this past semester because of classwork.”

Jihyun laughed at his own expense. “I should have known what that was. Fair, fair. Um.” He took a deep breath. “So, I can’t use my campus studio during break. Would you be okay coming to my apartment? It’s safe, I promise, and if you don’t feel safe you can leave, I won’t be upset.” Hen nodded, but winked at him before calling out to Jaehee behind the counter. “Hey Jaehee, can I trust this guy?”

Jihyun paled as though he had no idea what Jaehee would say.

“With your life.” Jaehee responded, without a pause. “But if you need an emergency text check-in hit me up before you leave.” Something relaxed in Jihyun, and Hen wondered if he’d let her give him a hug, but the moment was lost when he stood and bussed her empty mug.

Jihyun’s apartment was the 79th floor of an 80-floor high rise building. The entire 79th floor. Well, apparently his apartment was half of it and the other half was studio space, but still. She went directly to the windows and looked out over downtown, her eyes shining when she looked back at him.

“Jihyun, we should have done that first painting here…. this is such a great view!!” The painter smiled. “I’m glad you think that, actually… because I was hoping to do a triptych of that one, and so I’d need you to stand for two more at windows, and, well…”

He looks so nervous! Hen thought, and smiled, shaking her head and then nodding.

“Listen, Jihyun. I will sit for you to paint as often as you need me this month, as long as I don’t starve to death, and get to sleep properly.”

“That’s a low bar. I’m still going to pay you. Same rates. Also, since we’re not on campus I’m covering at least one meal a sitting. No arguments or pulling what you did at Yu’s!”

Hen blushed. “I still think it was only fair.”

Jihyun laughed, and walked over to a closet. “So, this closet has the outfits for the other…” he winced. “Four paintings I have in mind.”

“That’s only like one a week, do you have other obligations? We both already know I don’t.”

Jihyun chuckled. “Well, I can get the part of the work I need you modeling for done in our usual 6-hour blocks, so we could do those, say… every other day? That should give me plenty of time for finishing work on all of them and still be able to get them to the gallery on time.”

“Do you want to start today, since I’m here?”

Jihyun looked at the clock. “Only if you let me buy lunch and take you to dinner after.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Kim.” He raised an eyebrow, and she relented. “Yes, okay, okay. I want to see your gallery look good. I don’t know why you’re not the one begging here.”

Jihyun blinked. “I… really should be, shouldn’t I? You’re too good to me, Miss Hen.”

“Just call me Hen. It’s already a nickname.”

“It is? No wonder I couldn’t find you.”

Hen laughed so hard she sat down abruptly on the floor. “Jihyun Kim. You seriously thought my given name was Hen. Like a chicken.”

“Yes. Why would I assume otherwise?”

Hen just made flustered hand motions while she laughed at him.

“It’s Henrietta.” She said, once she could breathe properly. “Henrietta Chatham.”

“I like Hen better.” Jihyun said through a pout.

“Me too! That’s why I introduce myself that way! If you start calling me Miss Henrietta, I’ll quit.”

“Please don’t.” Jihyun said, helping her up off the floor. “Hen.”

She blushed at their proximity, and turned toward the closet so he wouldn’t notice. “So, which outfit first?”

Jihyun pulled out an outfit that was leggings and a leotard and a cropped leather jacket. “Cyberpunk? Or 80s Workout?” She asked, and as usual he gave her a shrug. No insight from the artist. No hints. No spoilers. She would get to see the paintings at the gallery opening with everyone else, and no sooner.

Hen was changing back into her regular clothes when she heard a knock at the door. Grateful that this wasn’t her house and thus she was spared from needing to rush to get clothes on and the inevitable falling over that would come with it, Hen simply continued at her leisurely undressing and redressing pace… which also meant she was able to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Ah, good evening, Jihyun.” A warm baritone that matched V’s friendly tenor practically sang into the apartment.

“Jumin. Good to see you well. What can I help you with?”

“Miss Kang told me you found your muse.”

“I did. At Jaehee’s coffee shop, no less. I owe her.”

Muse? Does he consider me his Muse?? Hen felt her cheeks heat as she considered what that meant, if it meant anything. She hurried a little bit faster to get herself put back together.

“Well, I suppose you shouldn’t have any problems getting five more pieces done in time for the gallery opening, assuming she’s amenable to sitting for more paintings?”

She heard Jihyun laugh as she opened the bathroom door and made her way over to the costume closet without even glancing at the door.

“I’d say she is, we already got one session in today.” His volume changed as he turned and called out to her. “Hen, come over here when you’re done there, would you?”

She turned, surprised to see that Jihyun’s guest was in a three-piece suit, albeit one decorated with white cat fur.

“Hi.” She said, holding out a hand. “I’m Hen.”

He shook her hand, professional to a T. “Jumin Han.” Then, he turned back to Jihyun. “You should tell Luciel you’ve found her so he stops sending photos of random chickens to the chat and asking if they’re her. He’s been at it for approximately two hours now.”

Hen couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. “Seriously?! Will you show me? We can pick which chicken looks most like me.”

JIhyun smiled that smile she loved so much. “We can look over dinner.” He turned to Jumin. “Would you like to join us? We’re going out for barbecue.”

Jumin shook his head. “Elizabeth is waiting for me. But thank you. Maybe next time.”

They watched as he turned and went back to the elevator and rode it…up. “He lives above you?” Hen asked, as they waited for the elevator to return for them to take it down instead.

“Yes.” Jihyun said with a smile. “We were childhood friends, Jumin and I.”

“And now?”

“Still friends. Less so children.”

Hen giggled, and tried to keep herself from thinking of this dinner as a date. It was just.. a work dinner.

The rest of the week flew by, and before Hen knew it she was back on her own, her sittings were all done and now she had all the free time in the world to get her reading done, but she couldn’t stop thinking of Jihyun. She hadn’t really been being honest with herself about him, it seemed, but now that she had some time to think clearly, it was plain as day. She was in love with the painter. He made her smile and laugh in a way no one else had. None of her previous partners even held a candle to the way he made her feel.

Sure, she might be his muse, not that he’d said as much to her even after she’d heard Jumin say it, but regardless… that was an art thing, not a personal thing. And now that this collection was done, other than the gallery opening he’d wanted her to come to, she may not ever see him again. Hen sighed, and like clockwork, her phone started ringing. Who called these days? Oh. It was Jihyun!

“Hey Jihyun!”

“Hi… I have… a selfish request.”

“Shoot.”

“I need your help. I’m trying to get all the finishing work done and for the life of me I cannot focus. I thought maybe getting someone to body double for me would help, but all of my friends are normal boring adults with day jobs. Jumin offered his cat, but she’s white and a mischief and I do not think that would be a good idea around all the paint…”

“Jihyun. Slow down. Calm down, it’s okay. What do you actually need from me?”

“Come and sit here and hang out? You can bring your books. I know you were eyeing that oversized chair, I’ll clear it out so you can relax. Maybe… get coffee from Jaehee’s on the way? I’ll pay you back, I swear, I… Hell, I’ll even pay your sitting fee just to chill with me for the day.”

“Jihyun! That’s not how friendship works! You don’t need to pay me to hang out with you. But you can take me to dinner. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

“Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Peppermint! Bye!” She hung up to the sound of his laughter, and if she wasn’t about to walk through his door with two coffees and a tote bag full of paperbacks to devour, she’d hate to end the call. Yeah. She had it bad.

Hen knocked on Jihyun’s door in the most inelegant fashion possible: with her forehead. She’d considered kicking it, but that would have sloshed the coffees too much.

Of course, Jihyun opened by her third knock, and instead she stumbled forward a step when her head met air.

“Were you knocking with your head?”

“Shhh.”

“Nooo. Your poor face.”

“I said shhhhh.” She allowed him to take his coffee, and laughed when she spotted the oversized chair in her usual posing space. “I’m modeling my dumb reading faces for you today.”

“I told you I’d pay your sitting fee.” He winked at her when she blustered, and instead she blushed. “What? You’re going to be sitting!”

“You. Are a brat.”

“That’s what they tell me.”

“What, your RFA Friends?” She said, thinking back to the chatroom entirely full of chicken photos.

“Only ones I’ve got.”

“You’ve got me!” Hen argued, and Jihyun turned a look on her that she couldn’t decipher, not even paired with the radiant smile.

“You’re different. You’re my Muse, Hen.”

“Well, you’re my… artist… i guess.. there’s not a good word for that. I’m sticking with friend.” She grinned at him, and he laughed. 

“Well, get to reading, Muse, I better get myself actually working so you didn’t come here for no reason.”

Hen settled and then realized the scale of the canvas he was currently working on. 

“Damn, Jihyun, that’s huge. Is it the centerpiece?”

“It is!”

“And you still won’t let me sneak a peek?”

“Of course not! and ruin the effect of the collection as a whole on opening night? Never.”

“I’m still invited to that?”

“Of course. You’re my muse. You’re my plus one.”

Hen saw the chance and had to ask… to save herself heartbreak down the road.

“What, no boyfriend? I was sure you and Jumin had--”

“No.” He cut her off. “I’m single, Hen. Have been since… well. Everything.”

“You’ll have to tell me about that someday, you know? I hate walking into landmines that just hurt your feelings.”

“You’re right. I should. Maybe over dinner?”

They spent the day in quiet companionship. Every now and again Hen would laugh at something that happened in her book, or absolutely have to read part of something to Jihyun because it was just written way too well.

They took a break for lunch, Jihyun had ordered sandwiches while she was still wrapped up in the most recent book.

“Your reading speed is ridiculous.”

“Jihyun. I’m in law school. Of course it’s ridiculous.”

“…I keep forgetting that. You’re so nice.”

“Sometimes lawyers are nice.”

“My lived experience begs to differ.”

“Hm.” Time to change the subject so that he could get back to work and not just spill everything now. “You’re going to tell me about that over dinner you said. Any ideas where you want to take me?”

Jihyun blinked for a moment, and then shrugged. “I was thinking Sushi?”

“I do not know if I am dressed well enough to go out for sushi, but…”

“I was thinking about a local place that has all you can eat sushi. No dress code. Plenty of time to sit and talk about difficult subjects in an informal environment.”

“Oh. Well then. You will be surprised at how much sushi I can eat.”

“With my friends, I don’t get surprised by much anymore.”

“And since then, she’s been in Alaska, at an inpatient rehabilitation center.”

“Jesus. That was… you? We discussed the situation in one of my classes while it was ongoing.” 

“Yes, I’m not surprised, it was a clusterfuck.”

Hen reached her hand out across the table to take Jihyun’s, heedless of how forward she was being. The man needed comfort.

“That’s a lot of stress, Jihyun.”

Jihyun sighed, but didn’t move his hand out from under hers, a choice that Hen chose to take as a positive sign.

“It was, but it’s over. Now I can move on and be better. To myself. To my friends.”

They paused to eat more of the sushi in front of them, when something he said suddenly connected for Hen.

“You said she’s in Alaska… is that when you ‘lost’ your phone?”

Jihyun chuckled. “When I threw it into the ocean. Yeah. We were still engaged when she was sentenced, and I hadn’t woken up at the hospital yet, so they put me down as one of her guardians. She was demanding to see me since I was on her paperwork… I had to go there in person to get my name removed.”

“Oh because that was safe and healthy for your trauma…” Hen muttered grumpily.

Jihyun nodded. “Exactly. Anyway, once I left, she started texting me begging me to come back, and… I just… I needed to be free of her. Of all that. I’d managed to put myself back together in the two years since and I couldn’t go back to that mental place. So I chucked my phone off of the side of the ferry. ‘Oops’. My only regret is losing your contact information in the process. Why did we never email?”

Hen shook her head with a low chuckle. “Hubris. I don’t know. I’m just glad you found me back. I was really worried I’d done something to upset you.”

“Well, I do wish you’d let me buy you dinner. Grandma Yu teases me to this day about ruining that date.”

Date? Hen must have thought about it for a minute too long, because Jihyun was rushing past the statement like he’d never made it.

“You’re not buying dinner tonight. This is my gift in return for you sharing your day with me.”

Hen nodded. “The chat with the chickens - that was those friends?”

“The very same.”

“I hope I get to meet them someday.”

“They’ll be at the gallery. Maybe… don’t wear feathers.”

Hen laughed so hard she aspirated her tea. “Jihyun!! What should I wear?!”

Leaving the restaurant, Hen realized this would be a perfect time to tell Jihyun how she felt. He deserved to know. She deserved to be let down in a nice quiet parking lot, not in front of however many people at the gallery showing. And since that was the last time she was likely to see him, well, she chose now.

“Jihyun, I…”

He reached out and held a finger to her lips, stopping her from talking.

“I know what you’re going to say. Can you wait until after you see the paintings? Please?”

Hen blinked. He wanted her to wait to confess until after the gallery? That was exactly the opposite of what she wanted.

What she was thinking must have shown on her face.

“I promise I will hear you out. I will give you privacy if you want it. But I need you to see… what I see… first.”

Hen sighed and nodded, and only then did he move his finger.

As her bus pulled up to the stop, Jihyun smiled at her. “See you at the gallery.”

“Yeah.” she forced a smile onto her face. “See you Saturday.”

The entire ride home, Hen let the tears silently track down her cheeks. He was going to turn her down, she knew it. He’d known she was going to confess. How many people had fallen for him while modeling? How many women had he turned down? Had he known since he came back from Alaska? Had he known before she did?

He’d had probably the worst relationship experience on the planet, there was no way he’d be interested in trying something. It wasn’t even that there was anything wrong with her, just that with everything he’d been through…

Hen sighed. She was thinking in circles. She should have known better than to fall for anyone. It’s not like her dating history was stellar either. She wiped the tears from her face as her bus arrived at her stop and she started walking home. She would be the best possible muse at this gallery opening. The belle of the ball. Maybe they could stay friends, if she didn’t make a complete mess of everything. She’d like that.

Hen had gone all-out for the gallery opening. She’d secretly talked to Jaehee at the cafe about what the dress code would actually be like, so she wouldn’t embarrass anyone, and the woman had actually volunteered to go shopping with her. Hen turned her down, but they exchanged numbers so Hen could send photos if she needed advice. She felt like she needed to do this herself.

Eventually she found what she needed. A navy blue and black jacquard dress, with an off-the shoulder sweetheart neckline and a subtle high low hem, from knees to tea length. The neckline showed a lot of skin, but a shawl would temper it, especially with her hair in loose curls over one shoulder.

Hair and makeup were easy. She knew how to put on a flawless face, it was practically a requirment with law school. Her favorite jewelry - understated sapphire earrings and a matching pendant on silver chain - finished the look. With a pair of short black suede ankle boots, a cashmere shawl, and her wool coat, she was prepared for a gallery opening in mid-January. Hopefully Jaehee hadn’t steered her wrong. She wouldn’t know what to do if she were dressed improperly. Both overdressed and underdressed were a possibility here, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous.

“You’ve really outdone yourself, Jihyun, these pieces are magnificent.”

Hen stepped into the gallery, slightly early for the actual opening, but Jihyun had requested her to be early to meet his friends. The entrance to the room was slightly raised, and had an unimpeded view of the collection. She could hear people talking, but she had eyes only for the art on display. She recognized all of the pieces along the edges from her sittings. First the triptych, Three pieces, one looking left out a window toward a historical setting, one looking right out a window in a cyberpunk-esque future setting (she knew that’s what that outfit was!), and the third looking straight out a window into a modern wartorn landscape.

“I see why you wouldn’t show us any of them early.”

The one where she’d been posing on the bench like it was a tree seemed to be robin hood? Or maybe hunger games? Either way, very stealthy, she loved the look of it. Opposite that was the grecian chaise lounge scene… he’d actually painted her asleep?! Jihyun! She internally scolded him. He could have just asked her to pretend to be asleep. Brat.

“Imagine if he hadn’t found his muse back!”

Her favorite so far had been the hardest pose to hold for the time he’d needed - a sword-weilding maiden from chinese folklore. It actually showed her in three distinct poses, as though in motion, and she stared at it for a long time. The last had her crumpled on the floor in front of a grave, hair in her face, soaked by rain. She’d remembered that - he’d asked her if she’d be willing to go stand in the shower in the giant pile of organza. She’d gotten the entire studio wet. It had been a riot.

“You did five of these just this month? You’re a madman, V… I mean Jihyun.”

But it wasn’t until she focused on the centerpiece - the only one she hadn’t posed for - that she realzied that none of the women in the paintings were actually her. She’d posed for them, but they had different hairstyles, different facial features, like she was playing characters instead of being herself.

“Jihyun, this collection is radiant. If it’s this good, then your muse must be exquisite.”

The centerpiece was actually a painting of her, done the last day she’d been in his studio, sitting ridiculously sideways in that oversized chair engrossed in her book, but instead of it being in his studio it was in a vast library. She couldn’t help but laugh when she realized how many hints he’d tried to give her that she was in fact sitting for another painting. He’d clearly wanted her to be herself. God she loved him.

She looked down, then, to where Jihyun was standing surrounded by a small group of people… all of whom were looking up at her. Of them, she recognized Jaehee from the coffee shop and Jumin his upstairs neighbor / childhood friend. There were also two gingers who could be twins, a girl with long brown fringe and even longer hair, a blonde with dark roots, and a … was that Zen?! Huh. He wasn’t kidding about the eclectic group of friends he had.

Jihyun held out a hand to beckon her over, and she made her way down the stairs and over to the group. Jihyun took her around the group; Jaehee, the owner/operator of the coffee shop she frequented. Jumin, his best friend from childhood and Director of C&R International. Saeyoung and Saeran, the computer-savvy twins. MC, the insightful party planner. Yoosung, the newly-minted Veterinarian. Zen, also known as Hyun, the actor.

“And I’m the model.” She shook her head. “I mean law student.” She smirked at Jihyun who laughed. She didn’t miss the surprised looks from his friends at the sound of his laugh. She was right. This man needed to smile and laugh more. If she could give that to him, she would gladly — no, that was a lie - she would accept simply being his friend. “You sell yourself short.” Jihyun said, a soft smile flickering into place. “This is Hen. My muse. My friend. I hope you can all get along well.”

“Don’t worry, Jihyun. We’ll take care of your girl when you inevitably get pulled away by boring rich guys.” One of the twins - Saeyoung, she thought, gold eyes - said with a smirk. 

After the introductions, the RFA scattered around the room as other patrons of the arts started to filter in, the official start time having passed. Jihyun held his arm out for her like a proper gentleman. “You look absolutely stunning tonight, Hen.” He said with that smile she loved so much.

“Thank you.” She felt her cheeks heat and willed herself to calm down. This was his show. “I didn’t want to make you look bad. Not after you made me look so good.” She gestured to the biggest piece of art in the room, and he had the grace to look embarrassed.

“I should have been up front and asked for your permission, but I wanted to paint you naturally, not posing. I’m sorry I lied to you, Hen.”

Hen shook her head. “You didn’t lie to me, Jihyun. You left so many crumbs, I could have assembled an entire loaf of bread from how much you were afraid to surprise me with this. Hell, you even offered to pay me a sitting fee just to hang out with you. The fact that I was still surprised is more on me than it is on you!”

“I’m still going to pay you for that.”

Hen smirked. They’d had this back and forth so many times, she couldn’t help but kick it up a notch.

“You could pay me back with a kiss.” She said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Jihyun not only sputtered trying to respond to her in any fashion, he even stopped walking.

Hen turned to apologize to him, just in time to see Jihyun school his features and hold his arm out properly again. Great, now you’ve done it, Hen. If he wasn’t going to turn you down before, he definitely is now.

Moments later, a group of men walked up and started talking to Jihyun about his works, and Hen tuned in so that she could respond to any questions asked of her. There weren’t any, of course, she was arm candy and most of them probably hadn’t even noticed that she was the woman pictured in the art.

Eventually, the event was in full swing, and Jihyun went up to the landing to talk about the art a bit. He told a story about a woman who loved to read more than anything, and her trips of imagination through storybooks. He talked about how the collection was about escapism through fiction, and how the modern world has made even fictional war more glamorous than our day-to-day slog through capitalism. 

He introduced her to the assembled patrons as his muse, the beautiful law student who deigned to stand, sit and otherwise pose for long hours just so that he might put some paint on canvas. There was nothing in his description about their friendship, or the bond they’d formed, simply a focus on a beautiful woman who inspired his art. He even kept her name out of it, kept her away from being associated with his art in any way but visually.

Hen was more certain than ever that this would be the last night she would see Jihyun. Maybe she wouldn’t tell him how she felt. Maybe it would be better to pretend that she wasn’t feeling any of this. After his talk, Jihyun passed her off to Saeyoung to walk through the gallery while he was accosted by too many people all at once, just as they’d predicted. 

Hen looked around for the rest of his friends, and couldn’t help but notice MC snuggled up to the other twin. “Those two are cute together.” She said discreetly, and Saeyoung laughed. 

“They are. They’ve been dating for a few years now.”

“Aww, that’s just too sweet.”

“You mean like you and Jihyun?”

Hen laughed bitterly. “I wish.”

“Oh come on, Hen, I’ve only known you for a few hours and—“

“I didn’t realize I was that obvious.” She chuckled ruefully at her own hubris. “He stopped me from confessing, Saeyoung. I don’t stand a chance with someone like him.”

Saeyoung sighed. “I think you’re selling yourself short. You’re good for him, Hen. I haven’t heard him laugh like that in… a very long time.”

Saeyoung’s words stuck with Hen the rest of the night, even as she was bounced between the other members of the RFA. Just as she was thinking she’d hit her limit for socialization for one night, and thought she might try to find Jihyun to say goodbye before heading out, the man found her himself, a hand at her elbow leading her away from the crowd.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get much time together tonight.” He said, turning her to face him, his hands gently circling her, keeping her close enough that their quiet voices wouldn’t carry.

“All those hours with me in your studio, I’m sure you had more than enough of me.”

“Never!” He said with a laugh. “What you were going to say the other night…”

Hen blushed, and bit her lip. Her confidence was gone. Her willingess to have her heart trampled had gone with it. “Jihyun, I…”

“Hen, I’m in love with you.” Jihyun interrupted, and Hen was suddenly very aware of how he was shaking.

“You…”

“I know, it’s inappropriate. I tried to be good, but I couldn’t have you end everything before you at least got to see the gallery and—“

Hen reached out and put her finger against his lips to silence him. “Jihyun. Me too.”

His eyes went wide, but she didn’t move her finger, and he didn’t attempt to say anything.

“I was so sure you were going to turn me down when I tried to confess after sushi.” She moved her hand away then, anxiously twisting her fingers together.

“Wait, you meant—“

She nodded, cursing the tears beading up in her eyes. “And then when you kept me out of your speech except the fact that I was standing there, I..”

“I wanted to keep your bright future from being tainted by my questionable past, is all.”

“We’re idiots, aren’t we? ”

He nodded. “Complete idiots, but at least we’re together.”

“We have got to learn to communicate better. No more throwing phones in the ocean.”

They shared a laugh, and Hen knew, then, that everything was finally going to be alright.

“Hey, let’s get out of here.” Jihyun said, that smile she loved so much lighting his face. “Jumin can handle the cleanup and closing.” He looked over her shoulder and she felt him shake with silent laughter.

Hen followed his line of sight to where Jumin was standing with Saeyoung, the former nodding discreetly while the latter made hand motions as if shooing them away. She giggled. “Okay, Jihyun Kim, I will allow you to drive me home.”

The ride home was silent, but it was a calm introspective kind of silence, rather than an anxious uncomfortable one. Hen, of course, was warring with herself internally about what she wanted to do with her night. She was reminded, as they pulled into her parking area, that she didn’t have to make these choices alone anymore.

“Do you want to come up for tea?” Hen asked quietly, fidgeting with the ends of her shawl in lieu of her usual sweatshirt strings.

“I would love to.” Jihyun said, just as softly.

She led him through the building to her lofty third-floor apartment, where she stepped out of her shoes and set about getting tea started. She set the mugs on the counter and opened the tea cabinet. When she turned to ask Jihyun what kind of tea he wanted, he was right behind her, and she startled. 

“Oh, hello there.” She said with an awkward giggle.

“Hi, Hen.” He said, leaning into her space. “May I kiss you?”

She nodded even as she felt the blush on her cheeks, and moments later his lips were on hers, and her arms were looped around his neck, holding him close. When they broke for air, they both laughed before moving toward each other again.

“What about the tea?” She asked, softly, afraid to break the spell.

“I… don’t need tea.” 

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Expanding the family

PAIRING | Retired!Steve Rogers x Daycare Owner!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.1K

SUMMARY | You and Steve have been enjoying a beautiful life together ever since Steve retired from is post as Captain America and an Avenger. Now that you have more free time on your hands, it's the perfect time to add a furry friend to the family you've built together.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Implied sex, mention of threesomes, mention of infertility, unfulfilled wish for children, mentions of animal abuse (non-explicit).

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist

Both you and Steve have been loving your life since he retired from the Avengers. The first thing both of you did when it was finally time is travel all across the world, and the both of you were gone for a good year and a half, visiting every continent available and seeing as many countries as possible, all while being wrapped up in nothing but each other. The both of you had lots of sexual encounters in every single country you visited, either having sex outside, in non-conventional places, enjoying occasional threesomes, or everything you could think of, you've shared in those countries, making unforgettable memories.

And now that you're back, you've built your own dream life together, which started with buying your own house. After many discussions, you've decided to buy a beautiful brownstone in Brooklyn, not far from where Steve grew up to honor that lifelong dream of his. You also managed to live your dream by starting your daycare. And today, you're going to welcome a new arrival to your very own daycare, in the form of little Lily Barnes, Bucky's daughter. He is a single dad after the mother of his daughter abandoned her right after giving birth, so he's eternally grateful for the fact that you were willing to make room in your daycare.

''I'll see you tonight Bubba, I'm closing the daycare myself today, so I'm going to be late for dinner,'' you tell Steve, and even though he doesn't have to wait for you to get home, he does every single time. ''Have a good today Pumpkin, and tell Bucky hi from me when you see him!'' he says with a smile, and he snakes his hand around your waist to pull you closer for a kiss. ''I love you so much, my little Pumpkin,'' he says and he leans in for a soft, passionate kiss. You could get lost in his kisses forever, but right now you had a daycare to open. ''I love you more, Bubba,'' you say as you pull away from him. Steve handed you your lunch, since he was home a lot more than you, he always insists on making your lunch to ensure you eat enough during the day.

You walk out of the door and open your car with a push on the fob, and you quickly get in for your drive, you were trying to avoid most of the traffic on your way to the daycare and the universe was nice to you today. You pull into the parking lot attached to the daycare and you get out to get ready for the day, and this time two of your staff members were already waiting for you. ''Good morning girls!'' you said to Jess and Scarlett, the other 4 members of staff working today would arrive later. ''Mornin' Y/N!'' they said in a chorus before you opened the door and let both of them in. ''We have a new addition to the daycare today, and she will be in your class, Scarlett,'' you told her.

''Her name is Lily Barnes, and before you ask, yes she is the daughter of Bucky Barnes. He's a great friend of mine of Steve's, so I expect that everyone treats him with the same respect as you would every other parent,'' you said to them, already knowing what they were thinking. ''Bucky will bring her by around 10 AM, but I'm going to give him a tour first before he will bring her to your class,'' you told her and she smiled at you, clearly not too happy about having the Winter Soldier's daughter in her class. Both of them got their classes ready and starting at 8 AM, the first parents are dropping off the first children of the day. You got everything ready for when Bucky would arrive.

When 10 AM rolled around, you got a call from Bucky, and you immediately got worried. ''Hi Buck, everything okay?'' you ask, and you hear an out-of-breath Bucky on the other side. ''Yeah, no, we're on our way! Sorry we're late!'' he said and you told him not to worry about it, he could text you when he arrived, and he did. He was half an hour later than planned, but you didn't mind, you were well aware of how hectic the life of an Avenger could be. ''Mornin' Buck, morning' Lily!'' you said when you saw the little girl with her bright blue eyes and dark brown curls. ''How are you two doing today?'' before pulling Bucky in for a hug, which he looked like he could use by now.

''We're doing better now, but I overslept, got home late last night from a mission,'' Bucky told you and you completely understood, you've been with Steve long enough to know how these days can go. ''Alright, I will give you the tour and afterward, you can leave this little beauty with us for the day,'' you say as you take a look at Lily, who has put her head on her dad's shoulder, trying to hide herself out of shyness. ''Oh, you don't have to hide for Y/N, malyshka,'' he tells Lily. She opens one eye and takes you in, giving you a small smile before hiding again. ''It's okay, it's a big day after all,'' you say before starting with the tour, and ending at the class where Scarlett is.

''Scarlett, can I borrow you for a minute? Nina is here to look after the kids and I would like you to meet both Lily and Bucky,'' you tell her and she follows you to the hallway, albeit a bit reluctantly. ''Good morning!'' she says despite the way she feels about Bucky. ''Mornin', I'm Sergeant James Barnes - you can call me Bucky - and this gorgeous thing is my daughter, Lily,'' he says with an outstretched hand, and she shakes giving her name. Then she steps a bit closer to introduce herself to Lily. ''Good morning beautiful girl, my name is Ms. Scarlett, and you can come to play with me today!'' she said and that made her instantly happy.

''Oh, you said just the right thing, she loves to play! Alright malyshka, I will see you tomorrow, you will sleep over with uncle Steve and Aunt Y/N tonight, doesn't that sound like fun?'' he said, before turning to you. ''Thank you again, Y/N, I can't explain how much this means to me, all of it,'' he said before he handed Lily to Scarlett. ''Wanna say goodbye to daddy?'' Scarlett said and she waved at her dad who waved back. ''Bye, malyshka! I love you so so SO much, and I will see you again tomorrow!'' he said planting a few big kisses on her cheeks before she went into the classroom, still waving at Bucky. ''Oh, Buck, Steve wanted me to say hi!'' you said before he walked out the door. ''Hi back!'' he said before quickly walking out the door, he was late for work at this point.

The rest of the day went on without a hitch, and Lily was more than happy to go home with you, you and Steve have been babysitting on and off for Bucky since she was born so it wasn't weird for her. ''Ready to go see what Uncle Steve is up to, Sunshine?'' you asked and Lily nodded. The both of you drove home and before you knew it, you were unlocking the door to your house again. ''Bubba, we're home!'' you said and Steve walked into the hallway with a big smile on his face. ''Ah, there are my two favorite girls in this world!'' he said before picking Lily from your arms, that way you could take off your coat and shoes. He leaned in for a soft kiss, but it still takes your breath away every single time.

The three of you had dinner together before bathing Lily and putting her to bed, you had turned one of your spare rooms into her bedroom since she was spending quite some time with the both of you. ''Still can't believe how amazing you are with kids,'' Steve sighed as he looked at you putting Lily down to sleep. Both of you have spent a long time trying to have children of your own, but after many tests, you found out that you're infertile, and you would not be able to conceive children of your own. This is exactly the reason you wanted your dream of owning your daycare to become more of a reality. ''Thank you, Bubba. I know you would make a perfect dad too,'' you said with a defeated sigh, you were well aware of Steve's chance on children.

Steve's biggest dream would be to have his very own family, and it had broken you time and time again that you could not give that to him. Even though there was nothing he wanted more, Steve never hated you for it, exactly the opposite even. ''I know, Pumpkin, but my dream already came true when I met you, as long as I have you I don't need anything else,'' he said, and he proved it to you every single day. The day both of you found out Bucky would become a father, you and Steve immediately offered to take care of the child whenever necessary, you both loved the little girl to pieces. Despite this, there has been an itch neither of you could quite scratch.

This was an itch in the form of a pet, more specifically in the form of a dog. Steve is home full-time nowadays and you work 3 days a week, so there is no better timing to pick out a lovely friend than now. Since you had Lily today, all three of you went to the animal shelter to go see if a new friend was waiting to be added to your household. This morning, you FaceTimed Bucky because Lily missed her dad, and his heart broke into a million pieces when he saw. ''Oh no, malyshka, I will be with you again tonight!'' he said, and you explained your plan for the day. ''Just make sure she doesn't bring one home for me!'' he joked and with that, all three of you went to the shelter.

''Good morning, we were hoping to adopt a dog to come home with us today,'' Steve said as soon as you reached the front desk. ''Well, then you've come to the right place! Please follow me, and I will show you which of our furry friends are up for adoption right now,'' she said with a happy voice. ''Your daughter is beautiful,'' the woman said to you, you were holding Lily in your arms. ''Oh, she is beautiful, isn't she? But she's not ours, we're babysitting for a friend,'' you said with a big smile on your face, you were used to it by now. ''Oh, I'm sorry! I assumed-'' ''It's okay. I don't mind thinking people she's mine, but don't let her father hear it before he gets jealous,'' you joked with a wink and Steve laughed at your comment.

''Most of the animals in our shelter are here after being brought in from either abusive homes or the streets, and now they're all looking for their forever homes,'' the woman explained, and your heart broke a little at the thought of these animals taken care of badly. After roaming around for a while, you spotted the perfect addition to your home. A 5-year-old white and brown male husky, named Phoenix. ''Hi Phoenix, aren't you gorgeous?!'' you said when you kneeled in front of his cage, and he came up to the both of you with a wagging tail and a curious look in his eyes.

''Steve, you should come take a look at him!'' you said and he came right over, falling in love with him instantly. ''Oh wow, you're such a beautiful guy!'' he said, and before you knew it, all four of you were walking out of the shelter, and onto your home where Phoenix would spend the rest of his days with you. When Bucky came to pick up Lily that evening he almost got trampled by him, he ran up excitedly to the visitor. ''Woah there, easy!'' he said before petting him. ''I see your mission was successful?'' he asked Steve and he nodded. ''It was indeed, we'd like you to meet Phoenix, our newest member of the Rogers family,'' he said with a proud look on his face. Finally, his own family felt complete with everyone who was in his house right now.

[aita-blorbos]

(tma oc ask content warning for canon typical levels of buried fuckery)

am i the asshole for driving away my friend?

hey reddit . im posting from a throwaway bc i dont want people connecting this to my work (though i doubt youve heard of me anyways) but i think i messed up terribly and i want to know if this is something i can still fix

also sidenote sorry if my grammar or punctuation or word choice or anything of that sort are poor. i have not been sleeping well for some time

i (19m) am a video game developer. its been my passion for years now and i am currently in uni studying computer games development and programming and level design . although i have considered dropping out but thats a point for later . i post on itch io and such and sometimes i make flash games but idk if anyone reading this has played a single one

its been a bit of a hard time for me, if im being honest. i really like games and i really liked making them but i dont think im very good at programming or art or level design or any of the other things that go into the process of making a game . at least a profitable and fun one .

so i ended up coming to this computer science study group in the hopes maybe someone could teach me to be better at programming. and i met this girl. i dont know exactly how old she is, but i want to say she was maybe two or three years ahead of me in her schooling, so probably about 22. anyways lets call her E

E was studying pure computer science and wanted to do it at a high level . so of course she was pretty good at helping me with my really rudimentary programming stuff . and she was friendly and funny and we liked hanging out so we ended up being good friends . she actually complimented my games, once i got them to function, and said my pixel art was cute . my point is we were close . maybe we wouldn’t have been so close if we had anyone else, but i was still new and she was pretty lonely .

really shortly after i met her though i started having fucked up dreams. ok that’s not entirely accurate because i had been having fucked up dreams on occasion for a while . but they got worse and she showed up in them. it was all me locking her in stairwells hitting her over the head and piling earth over her body filling her mouth with mud and cement. terrible things

so i stopped sleeping. i tried not to at least. im pretty sure most uni kids pull all nighters. i know i did even when i was younger. but i wasnt studying for exams or whatever. i was just trying and trying to force myself awake and i started to lose it a bit. my grip on things. it felt like i was sleepwalking through classes and even like i was dreaming when i was awake. id nod off for a moment in a lecture and id feel dirt caked on my hands under my fingernails. and no matter how much i scrubbed and how much i knew with my eyes it wasnt there it just. refused to come off . and it felt like her blood

i don’t remember how we got on the topic but i remember she told me how she always worried a little bit about being trapped . like claustrophobia of a flavor that shows itself in locked doors and thick walls and collapsing underground stations. that made me feel even more odd about the whole thing . of course i felt awful about hurting her but that part of it was like a joke i didn’t get

and then weirdly enough i got really into nineties 3D games. they have these skyboxes that make it really obvious they’re not actually infinite . and i thought that was kind of interesting in context. like the whole world is a box you’re in so why worry so much about if the stairwell door will lock behind you

i kind of started thinking that was something i would like to replicate with my art . like if i put all my issues into one game they would be out of my brain and gone . maybe it could even be pleasant without the whole preying on my friends terror thing

so now we get to the part of the story where i fear i really really messed up . i made this game . and honestly i dont remember the development very well . sleep deprivation is a dreadful thing . i remember again and again while i was making it kind of coming to my senses not knowing where i was and finding massive parts of the game that i didnt remember making at all.

it was set in a stairwell but i dont remember buying or making the models for the door . there was a really weird kind of way the game functioned with an infinite path going up but how that functioned i couldnt tell you . and i dont remember composing the audio or where i might have downloaded it from except that i never liked to listen to it for very long . i dont know why i kept it in the game

i always showed my games to E but i really wanted her to see this one in particular. so she came by my flat and played it and then i remember she just glared at me . there was something to the look she gave me . it was like she was completely horrified and was trying to pretend she was just angry instead

she hasnt spoken to me since . and i think i fucked up . i knew it was playing at her issues and i think maybe i even made it at least subconsciously to pry at them. like the same part of me with dirt under my fingernails was also sitting there typing away on that keyboard .

but at the same time its just a game . and im better at programming now too . like something just clicked there

honestly though development lately has been weird. its been hard trying to go back to the old sort of pixel art platformers and shoot em ups and that kind of thing i used to make. every time i open any program its like im just staring at it and imagining skyboxes. putting it all in a box imprisoning every world i make that kind of thing. like i said earlier ive been considering dropping out. but i dont know. i think id need to sleep on it

i still have weird fucked up dreams but E isnt in them anymore . i dont know where shes gone . i think maybe my idea worked somehow and i did transfer all that shit to my art . and then that just all went right to her . but i dont know if i like that idea or hate it

anyways reddit am i the asshole?

[doomsdayoption]

Ok I love them but this picture gives me "rich mysterious family who will hunt you down for sport after dinner" so here's my AU (I don't know if I need to say this but I'm being ironic, obviously):

Rhett:

Link's husband. He's the one you think you can trust. He seems to be on your side from the get go. He sounds genuinely interested in what you do and your interests. You will be lured into a false sense of security by him. He might also be the first one who brings up the topic of "hunting" at the table, keeping it vague enough not to raise any suspicions. Will be the first one to excuse himself from the dinner table to change into a more "comfortable" attire for the hunt. Fantastic marksman.

Link:

Rhett's husband. Charming like the Devil, you feel a bit uneasy whenever you talk to him, from the beginning of the evening. Smart, witty, he seems serious but makes the occasional joke in an attempt to make you feel more comfortable. Or at least, that's what you think. He seems to be very comfortable with knives, and fidgets with them continuously while you're at the dinner table. Will excuse himself shortly after Rhett. When you're deep in the woods and you think you're safe, he'll probably be the one walking out from behind a tree with a smile on his face and a knife in hand.

Stevie:

Family friend. Has known the McLaughlin-Neals for so long it feels like she's basically in the family. Kind, funny and very bubbly, she actually wants to make you feel comfortable. Like Rhett, you feel like you can trust her. Will probably be the last one to leave the table. Prefers to remain in the house instead of running out in the woods. Doesn't really partake in the hunt, but will laugh about it later when R&L recall their favourite bits.

Chase:

R&L's son. Lily's fiancé. Doesn't talk much with you while you're at the table, seemingly more interested in speaking either with Lily or with his dads. Impeccably dressed, might give off the air of a spoiled kid, but he's not afraid to get his hands dirty when needed. Can hardly wait for the hunt to begin. Will leave the table shortly after Link. Knows every inch of the property by heart, will surprise you where you least expect it.

Lily:

Chase's fiancée. One of the very limited few who survived the hunt. Decided go stay because she finds the thrill of the hunt oh so very addicting. Will talk about your shared interests at length, whatever they might be. Like Stevie, she also genuinely wants to make you feel comfortable. She is a skilled cook, and has worked for Michelin-starred restaurants her whole life. Come think of it, she's the only one who has openly told you something about her profession. Least experienced in the hunt, will likely run around the woods with an axe and get lost, which ironically makes it all the more terrifying for you.

Nicole:

Another family friend. Not as close to R&L as she is to Josh, Trevor, Vi and, more recently, Lily, thanks to their shared passion for cooking. In appearance an open book, she has her way with words. You're not entirely sure you know something about her even though you might have been talking for hours. Like Stevie, she does not partake in the hunt, but will gladly hear about the most gruesome details from the others afterwards.

Trevor:

R&L's son (adopted). High class, posh, but can get on anyone's level if that means bringing them in for a dinner with the family. Always travels with his sister Vi, looking for new prey in bars, restaurants, libraries, airports, you name it. If they clock in on you, there's a very slim chance you'll actually escape. Easily makes friends with anybody. Actually a great cook, he's often in the kitchen with Josh, experimenting around and generally speaking, having fun. If he's your partner, he will be the second-to-last person to leave the table (same with Vi, depending on who you came with). Loves playing around with prey, but knows that the final blow has to be left to one of his dads. Most likely Link.

Vi:

R&L's daughter (adopted). Like her brother, she can get on anyone's level if that means bringing in new prey, and she often travels with Trevor. Bit of a criminal mastermind. Tends to be the one who has the last say in whether someone will be prey or not. Works as a waitress in whatever restaurant Lily's working in at the moment. If she's your partner, she will be the second-to-last person to leave the table (same with Trevor, depending on who you came with). Is quite poised when it comes to the hunt. Doesn't like running around, will likely choose a spot somewhere in the trees and wait. Wonderful archer.

Emily:

Josh's friend. Or flirt. Or both. Nobody really knows. The one family friend who actually enjoys actually partaking in the hunt. Possibly the funniest person at the table, she is a master manipulator, and will make you think that everything's fine after every awkward silence that accidentally settles on the table during dinner. Will leave the table shortly after Chase, politely excusing herself never to make another appearance. Like Link, she enjoys blades, especially short swords. Will often work in tandem with Josh or Link, depending on the night.

Josh:

Cook. Emily's friend, most likely flirt. Nobody knows. Polite and witty, he spends the few minutes he has around the table when he's serving dinner with Emily or Rhett. If it's Emily, they're probably talking about their stuff. If it's Rhett, they're probably talking about you. Will be the last one left when the table is empty. With all the poise of a high class gentleman, he will be the one to inform you of your "unfortunate situation" and what that entails. He will display before you an assortment of weapons to choose from to give you a slight advantage, and tell you where the bullets are hidden in case you choose a firearm. Often works in tandem with Emily, sometimes with Rhett.

[inmywritingera]

Illicit Affairs: A Folklore Story

Part one: Betty

The Beginning

She never thought there was anything wrong with being a hopeless romantic. It’s what she grew up knowing, watching her parents dance in a refrigerator-lit room at midnight when they thought they were alone. Through their love, she saw the world through soft light and believed three fundamental things: people are innately good, everyone is worthy of love, and the right love will be built on mutual respect and understanding. She knew love was out there for her, just waiting in the shadows.

So when Betty officially met James in the fall of her junior year, something in her stirred and she thought, this could be it. He could be the one. The connection seemed instant and natural, leaving her thinking that they could someday mirror the love her parents had. And every love story has a beginning.

“Hey,'' came a soft, deep voice from behind her as she gathered her books from her locker. Startled, she whipped her head around, wild blonde curls flying around her shoulders. There he was. James. She felt her heart tremble and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered so strongly she thought they would fly up her throat and out of her mouth. “You’re Betty, right?” 

“Obviously,” she replied, internally cringing. Don’t screw this up, she urged herself. “I mean yeah, I’m Betty. Don’t you know this?” She chuckled nervously and tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear., glancing up at him from beneath her long eyelashes. He towered over her, his dark hair unkempt as if he had just rolled out of bed. To her absolute horror, she was suddenly flooded with visions of them together in his bed, making the blood rush to her cheeks. Being so close to him allowed her imagination to run wild and she quickly pretended to be very interested in her shoes. 

“Well, yeah. We’re in chemistry together.” I know that, she thought, hoping that he wasn’t just an idiot. She’d been fawning over him for years, despite never really speaking to him. He was the quiet but funny type with strong opinions. They’d shared history class together last year; whenever it came time for him to present a project, he did so with a passion that made it clear he was genuinely interested in the topic. He was well-liked amongst most teachers and was just popular enough that he was known around school by most students for his soft-spoken humor. She’d gushed and gushed to her best friend until Augustine had finally told her to stop and actually do something about it. I didn’t have to, did I? Betty thought smugly.

“Yeah, we do have chemistry together,” she said rather stupidly, still staring at her shoes. “We had history last year, too.”

“Well, I don’t mind having chemistry or history with you.” 

Wait, what? Was he…flirting? At this point, Betty finally lifted her head and looked up at him, blue eyes wide. His chocolate eyes stared intently back.

 “Listen, I know we’ve only kind of seen each other at parties and shared a couple of classes, but we don’t really know each other, do we?”

“I guess not.” Get to the point, she thought, worried about being late to class.

“I’d like to get to know you,” he said conspiratorially, leaning in close. “I’ve had my eyes on you for a while.” He paused and chuckled softly. “Wow, that sounded way creepier than it did in my head.”

“Yeah, it did,” Betty laughed. “But I guess now I can say the same.” Her heart was racing and she nervously rubbed her palms on the front of her jeans. “I’ve kind of been into you for a while, too.” She paused. “You make me laugh.” 

“Well, this is a great coincidence,” he stated as they finally started their walk to the chemistry classroom, making mindless but comfortable smalltalk. The hallways were buzzing with summer vacation gossip and new couples making out against lockers. They stopped just outside, ignoring a particularly entwined couple, and turned to face each other. “You know, it’s unseasonably warm today,” he said suddenly. Seriously, the weather?? 

“It is,” she said simply, wondering where this was going.

“An unseasonably warm September day makes for a perfect walk on the beach, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I suppose so..?” Is he about to…

“Okay, I’ve been working up to this for a while.” He looked nervous but quickly composed himself and smoothly continued, running his hand through his hair. “Why don’t we take a walk down to the beach after class?  The surf is still pretty intense with the storm yesterday and there’s something about the crashing waves…”

“That brings you peace?” Betty finished for him. James smiled.

“Exactly.” Her heart was thumping so loudly there was no way he couldn’t hear it. “We’ll go there after class and find our peace, yeah?”

Oh, my god. This isn’t happening. This is a dream and I’ll wake up any minute.

“Okay,” she said with a smile. 

“All right,” James grinned. “It’s a date.”

The Dance

“It’s gorgeous, James!” Betty exclaimed as James tied the corsage around her wrist as their parents wildly snapped picture after picture. It was a band of white lace decorated with peonies and lavender, Betty’s favorite flowers. The blues and purples matched perfectly with the pastel chiffon of her prom dress. The air was sweet with the scent of pollen and approaching summer, with only a lingering nip of the late spring wind. James beamed, evidently very pleased with himself.

“I knew you’d love it,” he said, and tilted her face towards him to gently press his lips against hers. He took her decorated wrist and bowed to kiss her hand. “Shall we?” 

They turned together and stepped through the doors of the school hand in hand, pausing for a quick, cheap portrait before entering the gymnasium. It had been transformed by tricks of lights and florals into a garden paradise. Music pulsed from speakers all around the room and the dance floor was already thick with classmates celebrating the end of a stressful school year. The last nine months had flown by in a flurry of college applications and essays and it was clear Betty wasn’t the only one relieved that it was over and welcomed the start of summer break. 

It wasn’t all so bad, though–she’d had James. It hadn’t been just nine months of bureaucratic college nonsense–it had been nine months of walks on the beach, regardless of the temperature. Snow on the beach was weird, but beautiful. They spent nights together when he made her his own and enjoyed plaid shirt days as autumn stripped the trees bare. It was nine months of kisses stolen in his car at a stoplight. Holidays with each other’s families. A winter wrapped in each other’s arms, the heat of their skin against each other keeping them warm through every snowstorm. Falling in love with James had been the greatest part of junior year and Betty had been looking forward to dancing with him for months.

“Oh look, there’s Augustine!” She was standing by the drink table looking like a completely different person. The backless red dress she wore clung to her body like a second layer of skin and the auburn hair she usually wore in a messy bun fell sleekly down her back, stopping just above her waist. Betty knew that Augustine was easily one of the most beautiful girls in their grade, and Augustine carried herself with an air of confidence that indicated she knew that, as well. She always drew attention from guys across every clique and nonchalantly brushed off every advance. That confidence surrounded her in a halo and the air around her seemed to shimmer as she made her way towards them.

“Girl, you look incredible!” Betty said, looking her best friend up and down with approval. She didn’t notice that James was also staring at Augustine. “No wonder you kept it a secret from me!” She grabbed Augustine’s hand. “Let’s go dance!”

The trio made their way towards the dance floor, and let themselves become swept up in the music and movement of dancing bodies. Betty was finishing a dance with Augustine when the music slowed and the soft introduction to her favorite song began.

“Oh, my god, James! It’s our song!” Betty turned excitedly towards James, only to find him gone. She turned towards Augustine. “Where’s James?” she asked. Augustine just shrugged and told Betty she was going to go take a break. 

“Wanna dance?” Someone she didn’t recognize had approached her while she was searching the room for James and was holding out his hand.

“Do I know you?” Betty asked, eyeing her suitor with a raised eyebrow.

“You will once you dance with me.” She rolled her eyes. This guy seemed annoying already.

“I’m here with my boyfriend, you know.”  I think I am, anyway.

Mystery Guy looked around. “I don’t see him.” He turned back to her.  “Besides, I’m sure he won’t mind. Once he sees my hot moves, he’ll be jealous he isn’t me.” He spun in a very Michael Jackson manner and Betty laughed then. Well, it is my favorite song, she reasoned with herself. Plus, he seems harmless.

“Okay, fine,” she said with a resigned smile. He put his arms around her and Betty scanned the room again, just in time to see James standing in the doorway looking like he was about to get his knuckles bloody. But he didn’t approach them and take her in his arms himself. Instead, he turned on his heel and stormed away.

Rumors

James had never returned when he left the gym on prom night. Betty received a text from him just before the end of the dance explaining that he was getting claustrophobic and had to go home. Ever since, things seemed different. She knew he was angry with her for dancing with someone else at prom, but they’d talked about it. She had apologized and explained that she just wanted to dance to her favorite song but James was gone. Things seemed fine for a while.

She wasn’t exactly sure when everything changed, but she didn’t feel like James was James. He spent most of his time working at Schmoe’s, a yogurt shop down on the beach, so they didn’t see each other as much. But it wasn’t just that. He seemed distracted whenever they were together, always checking his phone. She chalked it up to nerves, knowing he had recently sent out a bunch of college applications and was likely waiting for a response. They didn’t walk on the beach the way they used to but occasionally at night, they would wander down and watch the waves bring the moon’s reflection to the shore. James would check his phone and suddenly declare that he needed to head back home. He never gave a reason why; he’d just kiss her good night and she would walk home alone. Every time she asked him what was wrong, he’d just brush it off and after a while, she developed a sinking feeling that something wasn’t right between them.

Betty was writing out a college essay in Augustine’s room when she noticed a sweatshirt that she recognized crumpled on the bed. “Hey, isn’t this James’s?” She asked, holding up the sweatshirt. 

“Oh yeah,” Augustine said, quickly looking back down at her own essay. “I ran into him at Schmoe’s last night and it was freezing, so he lent me his sweatshirt so I wouldn’t be cold walking home.” 

“That was so nice of him,” Betty said dreamily, continuing her work. “Isn’t he the sweetest?”

“Yeah, he is,” Augustine replied quietly, focusing on the essay. Betty felt an uneasy suspicion creeping in as she took note of the  strange tone in Augustine’s voice, but quickly  brushed it off as ridiculous. There’s no way.

Betty and James were having one of their beach walks on a particularly humid night. Betty was deep in thought and James was silent, which wasn’t unusual for him these days. It had been a few days, but that sweatshirt on Augustine’s bed was still on Betty’s mind. She decided to broach it cautiously. 

“Hey, did Augustine ever give you your sweatshirt back?” Betty asked James casually. 

“Huh?” James responded, snapping out of whatever reverie was grasping his attention.

“Your sweatshirt. It was at Augustine’s; she said you guys ran into each other the other night and you gave it to her so she wouldn’t be cold.”

“Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah, she gave it back.”

“Oh, good.” She paused, wondering if she should follow her train of thought. “When? I was just over her house and we’ve hung out, like, all week.”  Her attempts at sounding casual were weakened by the slight accusatory tone in her voice. If James noticed, he didn’t give any indication.

“Uh..she dropped it off at Schmoe’s earlier today.” He quickly changed the subject then, asking Betty about her college essays, effectively ending the conversation.

James’s unusual behavior continued until finally Betty found herself thinking, is there someone else? The thought came suddenly, catching her off guard. The signs were certainly there but could also easily be explained away. She tried to shrug the feeling off, but it remained in the back of her mind like a mosquito in her ear as she recalled once again the hoodie on Augustine’s bed and the heavy feeling of suspicion she had felt in her chest. Don’t be silly, she scolded herself. They would never do that to me.

But when she had asked James about it, his story didn’t quite add up. She spent the entire week with Augustine, and James was at work most of that time. She couldn’t figure out when Augustine would’ve given the sweatshirt back. She felt ridiculous stressing over an article of clothing but something just wasn’t sitting right with her.

She was stretched languidly on her beach towel, soaking in the burning late July sun, when her phone buzzed with a text from Ines. Betty shared a few classes with her and had shared many for the last three years. She didn’t necessarily consider Ines a friend but she had her number, and discussions were mostly about assignments and the occasional small talk. That’s why she was surprised when she opened the message.

I think there’s something you should know.

She knew Ines was a gossip, but Betty’s heart did a little flip anyway.

A second text came through a moment later. It’s about James.

“You can’t believe a word Ines says!” James exclaimed, pulling at his hair in frustration. Betty stared coldly at him, arms crossed over her chest. They were standing in James’s bedroom with Betty still as a stone and James frantically pacing.

“Most times.”

“Jesus, Betty! You seriously think I left prom, got in the car with your best friend, and have been sleeping with her ever since? Because Ines told you??”

“Well, she saw you get in the car with Augustine when you allegedly went home because you were ‘claustrophobic.’” Betty’s voice was thick with sarcasm at “claustrophobic.” James blanched. “She also saw you at the beach with her last week and she said it didn’t look like ‘just friends.’”

“Oh please,” James said, rolling his eyes. “Ines would say anything to stir the pot. Yes, I was at the beach with Augustine, but it was because we ran into each other after I was done with work. We hung out a bit and I gave her my hoodie so she wouldn’t be cold.” That did match up with what Augustine told her. Maybe she was overreacting…

 “Besides,” James continued in an accusing tone. “You’re one to talk about looking like more than ‘just friends’.”

Betty sighed in exasperation. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, James.”

“I’m talking about prom night! I leave for a second and come back to see you dancing with some random guy!” He was beginning to raise his voice and Betty felt rage start to bubble in her chest.

“For God’s sake, James!” she yelled. “I thought we already talked about it–you can’t seriously be throwing that in my face again. That was two freaking months ago! It was just a dance! ”

“To our song!” She could see James getting angrier and angrier, which only fed the flames of her own fury. 

“James, it was just a dance!” She repeated in frustration. “You were gone.”

“I just had to get some air! I hate crowds, you know that!”

“Well, in any case, I had the opportunity to dance. I already apologized for that. But your response seemed to be getting in the car and the bed of my best friend.” She stared directly at him, her face stoic despite the rage in her chest as she watched a variety of emotions cross his face. He quickly pulled himself together, taking a deep, steadying breath.

“Betty,” he said slowly. “You’re being crazy.”

Oh, no he didn’t. If she wasn’t crazy before, she certainly was now. Red hot fury sped up her neck and into her cheeks and she curled her hands into fists. 

“Do not fucking call me crazy, James!” she shouted. “You’ve been acting weird all fucking summer! This explains literally everything!”

“You’re being paranoid for no reason!”

“For no reason?! Ines tells me you’ve been sleeping around with my best friend and your best response is that I’m fucking being ‘paranoid for no reason’? Be serious, James!”

“I said it once and I’ll say it again–you cannot believe a fucking word Ines says. You know this!” He took a deep breath, collecting himself before stepping towards her.  “Betty, I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” His voice was low as he pulled her towards his chest and stroked her hair. She sighed against him and they stood that way for a while.

“I’m sorry,” Betty said, a little uncertainly. “I guess I did let Ines get in my head a bit. She’s probably just bored and wants something to talk about.”

“I’m sorry I called you crazy. I was just frustrated that you weren’t listening to me when I was telling you that she’s a damn gossip.” She didn’t respond, just laid her ear against his chest and listened to his heart thump.

“I would never hurt you, Betty,” James repeated. And for a moment, Betty believed him.

But then she saw it. A half-used bottle of perfume that she instantly recognized. Her stomach dropped and she pulled away from him.

“James,” she said slowly, pointing at the bottle. “What is that?”

Panic flashed across James’s face. “Perfume,” he said obviously. He moved away from her and began pacing again as Betty further inspected the bottle. “It’s an early birthday present.” She could tell he was working to sound confident but Betty wasn’t an idiot. “James, I’m not stupid. You know I don’t wear perfume.” She turned and faced James, a coldness creeping through her veins as realization struck her. “But Augustine does.” 

James paled then and stopped pacing to look at her. “Why is Augustine’s perfume in your bedroom, James?” He swallowed hard and just stared at her, anxiety plain on his face.

Betty took another deep breath, already knowing the answer. “Did you sleep with her?” She paused and added softly, “You can’t keep lying to me now.” He was silent, staring intently at her, then sighed deeply in resignation, giving up on his attempts at ignorance.

“I did,” he admitted quietly. “I am. Ines is right.” Betty felt the blood drain from her face and she began to tremble. She stepped away from him. This time it was true, she thought grimly as tears prickled in her eyes. Suspecting your boyfriend was cheating and knowing it for sure were two different things.

“And you called me crazy…”. She sank onto his bed and put her head in her hands. Her chest burned from the shards of her broken heart and a heavy pit made its home in her stomach. She was my best friend…how could she…there was an indescribable storm of rage swirling and bubbling in that new pit and she clenched her hands hard against her forehead, wishing she could pound out the images invading her mind. She knew if she acted on her anger she would destroy him. She knew if she acted on her anger she would hurl words and lamps at him with intent to harm. She knew that she would have so much to regret if she acted on her anger, and so she didn’t say anything at all. No one likes a mad woman. The soft world built on the foundation of the love she grew up watching her parents share crumbled into dust around her. What was there to say?

James begged her to say something, but she remained silent. I gave him so many signs that I knew something was wrong. But he lied. And lied. And lied. She was vaguely aware of James’s feeble attempts at explaining himself but couldn’t hear anything over the thud of her own heart and the ringing in her ears. He wasn’t just my first. He was hers, too. Augustine was her best friend, after all. 

After a while, she turned her despairingly blue gaze onto James, who looked like he was going to vomit. She regarded him for another moment, then stood and silently left the room. James called out to her, begging her to stay and talk, but she was gone, leaving him in the hall with the last of his love in his hands.

Cardigan

As composed as she had been when James and Augustine broke her heart, by the time Betty reached her car across the street, she was falling apart. She sobbed and screamed and smashed her fists on her steering wheel, cursing James for throwing her aside like an old cardigan after spending almost a year telling her she was his favorite. Memories flooded her mind and she flashed back to their early days when they walked home from a house party and drunkenly danced under a streetlight, laughing loudly enough that neighbors yelled out their windows to tell them to shut up. He held her closer than usual that night and kissed her with passion and intensity. His hand had traveled under her sweatshirt and the night ended with their chests pressed tightly together, hearts beating in unison. 

Tears ran hot down her face as visions of worn Levi’s and streetlights, snowball fights and quiet nights flashed before her eyes like a silent movie. Her chest ached, tight and hot as she struggled to fill her lungs with air. She continued screaming curses at him from the privacy of her car before turning her anger onto Augustine as her mind raced with images of Augustine and James together in ways she thought were only for her. 

She was angry with herself for not listening to her intuition, which had told her for weeks that something wasn’t right. What did I do to deserve this, she sobbed to herself. Even on my worst days, I do not deserve this hell.

After a while, Betty’s tears began drying on her cheeks as she stared blankly forward, not seeing past her windshield. She stayed that way, observing the coldness that was spreading across her heart, leaving her completely numb. Betty eventually looked up at the house to see James standing at the window, watching her. 

She felt oddly calm as she pulled out her phone and sent Augustine a simple, short message. 

You can have him, but never speak to me again.

Betty blocked Augustine then, put her phone on silent, and pulled away. She knew James was still watching from his window. She drove away without looking back.

[allthingsfook]

Hi there!! Not sure if you are still doing ships but if you are could i please have one??

My name is Shae i am 22 years old and a virgo (Sagittarius Moon Rising if that is of any use). I have green/grey? eyes and auburn-ish curly hair (ish because it only looks red in the sun) and i’m about 5’3. I have been told that i am an extremely loyal person and that i am hilarious and should be a comedian. I am very opinionated and am also not afraid to call people out when i see fit and that has gotten me in trouble a couple of times but i’d rather let someone know when i am not happy than just suck it up to make the other person comfortable (lets just say you don’t want to get on my bad side).I am an extremely creative person i love to paint and sculpt and do anything hands on. I danced for 18 years, 15 of them competitively and could have made a career out of it if i wanted to. I can sing as well as play a few instruments (did violin for 3 years, learned the basics of ukulele, i kinda know guitar? But I haven’t touched it in years so who knows how i am at it now). I have worked with animals before and loved it so much i am trying to get into the animal course in my state so i can continue to do so. I am a HUGE nerd especially for anything to do with pop culture, history and Mythology and i love anything nostalgic. I’m a huge thrifter and i love any old type of media (vhs tapes,cameras, things of that sort) i also love to explore new places and love a good bushwalk. I am known in my friend group for being cow obsessed (to the point that if my friends are on a roadtrip and see a cow they will send me a pic) and for being full of a wide range of knowledge that even I don’t understand where it comes from. I think that’s enough info and Idk how to end this so bye

Hi Shae, yes you may! I ship you with…

Sam 🤍🌅🧡

Sammy is definitely a goober, he needs to be with someone who can take and give a joke! Being with him is sorta like living at a comedy show, nothing is mundane. With that being said, Sammy does have a serious, intellectual side. He often gets labeled as the class clown, but I am sure that he can be your rock when you need it.

Another characteristic you both share is being honest to a fault! Your honesty and strong views would capture Sam’s attention from the very beginning and remain his favorite quality about you. Sam is certainly attracted to those that march to their own drum. Sounds like you fill those shoes!

Your artistic side would create quality time between the two of you. He’d love tackling an art project on a Sunday afternoon. Imagine setting up a craft station in the backyard and spending the day painting and sculpting, listening to music and sipping wine!

Sammy would certainly encourage you to exercise your inner musician. He’d set you up with all sorts of instruments, encouraging you through this at home lessons 🤭 Although his methods may seem scatterbrained, you’d slowly realize they are effective when you practice while he’s away.

As we all know, Sam is passionate about wildlife and animals. He’d support you in any way to get into the animal course! Through your adventure with that, I could see him tagging along to events that include petting, feeding, and snuggling animals 😆 He’d beg to bring home an impractical animal and convince you that he could make it work!

Sam is the definition of nerd. Imagine laying in bed when he brings up the most random topic, then you lay there for hours on end… discussing your thoughts, feelings, and ambitions 🤍 Thrifting right up his alley ✅ Media… Photograohy, yup ✅ I see he’s been walking around with a vintage camera lately. So sweet to think Joe inspired him to document his creative vision. I’d love to see the film he gets developed. With you, no doubt he’d end up with rolls filled with candids of your beautiful face 💗

I hope you enjoyed your ship, Shae!!! Let me know what you think ✨✨

[thinking-of-thinking]

Why am I doing this?

“Why am I doing this?” is a question I often ask myself and if we're being honest, it’s a question every teenager or adult asks themselves. I have never used Tumblr in my life and honestly thought I never would. I had no idea what the app consisted of and had no clue how to use it (I still don’t), I always thought of it as an old app that only people in their 30s use. When I was told that I would have to create a blog using Tumblr or another platform similar to it for my first-year seminar class I was shocked. It’s not a task that I expected a college course to assign us, I assumed I would have to write an 8-10 page paper or some other ridiculously long and boring assignment. Honestly, at first, I would’ve preferred the paper because it’s what I know how to do, I’ve practiced doing it for years and a blog would be something completely new to me. Most of the time in a school setting you’re rarely asked to write about quite literally anything you want, so this would be a new challenge. I thought of ideas I could use for my blog, I wrote down anything I could think of in my notes app, which if you didn’t know already is a girl's best friend. Next thing you know I have a total of 20 random hit-or-miss topics, most of them consisting of ‘late-night thoughts’ that every teenager experiences. Others were topics that I was really passionate about and had a very strong opinion about. However, I never talked about them with people in my life because I simply felt they wouldn’t care. Now that I have this blog to work on and have unlimited freedom in terms of writing topics. I thought to myself, “Why not say everything I’ve always wanted to say?” It’s the perfect opportunity to let go of things that have been on my mind or just talk about my day. I guess I’ll be using this blog as a sort of personal diary which is why it's called Brain Office. Inspired by the Spongebob Squarepants episode where we get to take a look at what's really going on in his mind and how the system works. That’s how I visualize my brain working, just little me’s pulling it together, unorganized and chaotic. At least, that's how it feels sometimes, most of the time though, I will say I do know what I’m doing. I’m just hoping that by writing this blog I’ll be able to reach one random person out there and have them be able to relate to what I’m saying. Hopefully, this becomes a space where people can talk about random things without feeling judged by others. Even though I started this blog as an assignment, I’m looking forward to it growing into more and being something I can just have fun with. Who knows, maybe I’ll like it so much that I continue it in the future even after the class ends. 

[graziadiocenterilpostino]

Chiara Sala: on visiting CSULB

1. Tell us a little bit about yourself and your Italian background. How did you become interested in visiting Cal State Long Beach?

Hi everyone! My name is Chiara and I am 24 years old. I live with my friends in Milan in a very nice small apartment and I attend the State University of Milan, one of the oldest and most beautiful universities on the world (in my opinion!). I study one of my biggest passions: Italian literature. I have always lived in a small town close to Milan with my family and now that I live in a big city I can tell that it is a totally different and more exciting lifestyle. It totally suits my way of being: I am an curious and outgoing person and I love meeting new people, which means that a cosmopolitan city like Milan creates the perfect environment to do all of this. I also have a lot of passions like dancing, playing sports, and visiting museums and art galleries. Luckily, Milan facilitates keeping all these hobbies alive. I am also a Christian and for this reason, living close to one of the most beautiful cathedrals in the world (Duomo, Santa Maria Nascente) is something incredible for me.  

Even though I really like my city and my country I always love to travel. My family has always been adventurous and curious: my parents and older siblings spent 6 years in Uganda in the 90s and since then, they never stopped traveling. My sister Daniela has been living in Ecuador for the past 12 years and my sister Anna just moved from Beijing to South Sudan. I’ve always found the USA fascinating and this is why I chose to spend my senior year in high school in New York City. Since then I fell deeply in love with the United States and I’ve always dreamed to go back there one day. This is why I decide to write my master thesis in the US. Thanks to my cousin Caterina (who lives in Los Angeles) I decided to contact Dr. Enrico Vettore, her former Italian teacher at CSULB, which is the university that she attended. In the last 3 years of college, I started to take an interest in teaching Italian to foreign students and I thought that it would be interesting for me to have an experience abroad to learn more about the different teaching methods of the Italian language.  

2. You came to CSULB to do observations for your research. Can you tell us a bit about the work you did and other projects you have going on?

Dr. Enrico Vettore and Dr. Clorinda Donato told me about the intercomprehensive approach that is used at CSULB with the Spanish speakers and I found this topic very interesting–this is why I decided to attend the different Italian classes. I observed how this approach worked and how the students respond to this kind of method. Before I came to California, I did not know anything about intercomprehension, it was a totally new concept for me that had I never heard about in my studies at my university. For this reason, I tried to learn as much as possible from the professors and from Dr. Clorinda Donato, who was kind enough to let me interview her. It has been an amazing experience, and I find it really interesting to observe such good and competent professors as they introduced new students to my language.  

Now, I will work on finishing my thesis and I will graduate at the end of April.  

3. What are your post-graduation plans? Is there an ideal career path you have? Would you prefer to remain in Italy or move abroad?

I would love to teach either Italian literature to Italian students or Italian language to foreign students. I had an amazing experience as a student with my Italian teacher in high school. I think the years in high schools are very difficult, but also fascinating and I believe it would be both challenging and incredible to teach something that I love as much as literature to Italian boys and girls. At the same time, I would like to spend some more years abroad, possibly in the US to teach the Italian language. I still have to make a decision, but I find both possibilities exciting. 

4. Is there any advice you have for someone visiting Italy? What are the must-see locations?

Even though Italy is a small country. it is famously beautiful in each and every region. The beauty of its art is in every city from the North to South: I could tell you to visit Florence, Naples, Siena, Rome, or to enjoy the southern sun in the Mediterranean beaches of Calabria, Apulia and Sicily. But I would like to focus more on the North since it’s the side of the country where I grew up and I feel like it is not as known as the other places. Lombardy and Veneto have some of the largest and most beautiful lakes of the country, I would suggest to visit Lake Como, Lake Lecco and, and above all, Lake Garda. There are some gorgeous little towns in which you can visit some of the fanciest villas you will ever seen. If you go to the Aosta Valley and Piedmont, you will have the chance to see the Alps and some of the most iconic mountains of Italy such as Monte Rosa and the Cervino. If you are planning to visit Italy in the winter you should definitely take a day or two to ski in these regions. Some places, like the famous Bormio, are known for their incredible scenic outdoors spas where you can relax in fancy Jacuzzis while admiring beautiful landscapes. In Piedmont, you can find some beautiful valleys where you can try some of the best wine you will ever experience. If you want to enjoy some days at the beach, you can go to Liguria and see the Cinque Terre. If you are used to sandy beaches, you will be a little disappointed, though, because these little towns are built on the rocks and it is not easy to find a comfortable spot to lie down and sunbathe. But I assure you, you will be surprised by the uniqueness of these little colorful towns. There are plenty of cities you should visit while you travel in the North like: Turin, Venice, Bolzano, Bergamo, Genoa, Pavia, but I want to focus on my city, Milan. Unfortunately, Milan is rarely found in the category of the “beautiful cities of art,” since is mainly known for its business and it is considered to be the most modern city in Italy. But I think its beauty lies in the encounter between its aggressive modernity and the past that is preserved among its streets. If you go to Milan, I would suggest to visit the neighborhood of Brera, the Duomo, and the Navigli, which are artificial canals where young people like to hang out and drink and chat. If you like soccer you should go to see a game at the San Siro stadium, and if you enjoy opera, I would suggest you to go to the Scala. Milan is famous for its fashion, so if you are into stylish clothes you should go shopping in the main streets of the city like Montenapoleone and via della Spiga.

5. This semester you are returning to Italy. What was your fondest memory on campus? What do you think you will miss the most from Long Beach?

I am really sad that I had to leave CSULB. It is a beautiful campus and I had some incredible experiences that I will never forget. Above all, I will miss the opportunity to meet people that are so different from me. Honestly, in the beginning I found kind of hard to introduce myself to the students because I think Americans are less sociable than Italians. But with some effort I succeeded in making friends and I am very happy and grateful for those relationships; I will miss them a lot. I like that it is so easy to find people that have different interests, perspectives, beliefs and backgrounds from me. I will also miss Italian classes; I love that they are so small and I really appreciated the relationships with the teachers. I found the professors to be very nice and always available. I feel how much they care about their students and there is not much distance between them and the class. I also really liked the amount of entertainment that you can find on campus (bowling, gym, pool, etc.) I really enjoyed spending time with my friends in those areas. I will miss Long Beach very much, I loved the food, the weather (in Milan it is 0 degrees Celsius today!) and the company!  

Chiara Sala

[wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i]

🌞👛🪷🌞👛🪷🌞👛🪷🌞👛🪷🌞

Currently listening to: plantedinmymind.memo by Charlie Burg

🪷👛🌞🪷👛🪷🌞🪷👛🌞🪷👛🌞

Sometimes I catch myself masking in front of myself.

I get so excited talking about all my research, just typing up all my thoughts on the infantilization of Jews in children's Holocaust literature and the misrepresentation of Polish history and Slavic girlhood and sexual exploitation in 19th century France and I find myself deleting everything because nobody cares.

But I'm not talking to anyone. I'm talking to me. I'm typing this for me. So why do I feel like that? Who told me nobody cares?

I'm so passionate about Judaism and history and learning about Poland and every other thing that is important to me. I deserve to let myself be excited by new things I've discovered. So here's what I'm excited about:

I learned so much about Judaism this semester and I'm planning on taking more classes and going to more events to learn everything I can. My friend and I got close specifically because she loved that I'm very passionate about learning Jewish history, traditions and customs. Also because we both got our hearts fucking shattered by different people at the same time.

Anyway, she is president of hillel at my school and I got to go with her to this event where they explained what Rosh Hashanah was all about and we learned about golems!

It was so cool. We even made our own lil golems.

I also got to go to a Havdalah bonfire, and that was so cool. I think that's been my favorite event I've gone to. My friend invited me to her family's Hanukkah too! I actually almost cried I got so excited. I didn't cry but I did squeal and give her a hug.

I'm excited about Purim too, since there's going to be another opportunity for me to learn stuff. There was an event for it in the spring but I was shy and hadn't made friends with her yet so I just watched it for a bit and left. I get really shy when I don't have a buddy sometimes and just get so anxious about doing something new even when I'm really interested.

Another fun memory was watching my friends make challah. Picture the soundtrack to fiddler on the roof playing while one friend is making the bread and the other is doing the hora and trying to force the other to join. Also imagine this happening right before a fire alarm went off and we all had to vacate the premises.

I think one of the best things that has happened to me this year is meeting that friend of mine. Not just because they are always so excited to include me in any topic or event involving Judaism, but because I think she's one of my friend soulmates sometimes.

We will go whole weeks without talking, send each other voice messages where we say random TikTok audios and then not respond to anything else, engage solely in the shortest, most walking shit post conversations possible, and it feels nice because when I need to go somewhere, they always offer to drive me. And when we plan to study together, and we both forget or text each other at the same time to say that we don't want to get out of bed, I feel so seen. And when I told her that I was afraid of lighters and asked if she could come over to light my candle for me since I know she's not afraid of lighters 🍃 if yk what I mean lol, there was no question about it. It was just an immediate "of course."

She doesn't question it when I disappear for a while. She just welcomes me back to the table, asks me how I'm doing, and really hears me when I respond.

And I know that they feel the same way because when I met their parents, they said, "This is the friend I tell you about all the time!" And then they reiterated that she ALWAYS tells them about me.

I'm grateful that I met her. We were neighbors and classmates for a full semester before we got the nerve to talk to each other and we hit off immediately.

Her cat died and I didn't know. I just saw that she randomly stopped talking as much. So, I told her I had a statistics class and I needed a few answers about her favorite snacks and drinks. Then, I went out and bought them for her and left them by her door. Whenever she disappears for a while, I try to do this.

When I was back home, she drove two hours and rescued me for a few hours to take me thrifting. And when my card wasn't working, they bought me snacks and paid attention to the things I got excited about. For my birthday, she gave me a shirt I really wanted that day but couldn't buy.

I think what I love most about her is that I don't have to mask around her. She never asks me to be anything other than who I am.

Maybe I should start doing that too.

[elavita]

11/20/2022 - Intro

TW - many triggering topics discussed (Self harm, abuse, etc)

Hi! My name is Finnegan Felix MacPherson, but you can just call me Finn. I am 20 years old, and I am from Buffalo, New York. I enjoy nature and long walks on the beach. I have 2 parents, and a sister. I am fascinated by anything. My passions include sailing and learning new languages. I go to school for engineering, and I love everything about it.

And,

I am gay.

Growing up in the Midwest was not always easy. I have lots of trauma as most 20-year-olds do now. As you may know, it's not always easy being, well... different.

My family is quite loving, yet dysfunctional. We all have our issues, and we all don't know how to deal with them. I personally have body dysmorphia, depression, and anxiety. My sister has OCD. And my parents don't know how to deal with those situations.

School was tough, but I got through it. I came out when I was 15, but I've had issues regarding my sexuality before then. I was 14 when I was sexually assaulted, and it had me all sorts of messed up. It spiraled me down into a dark valley, filled with dead Ash trees and decrepit gargoyles and castles. This is what lead me into a my 'gay panic' phase. An aside - I am not saying that the sexual assault, is what caused me to be gay, but it definitely made me feel inferior as a human. This contributed to my body dysmorphia, and hypersexuality later in life.

Upon entering high school, I was constantly made fun of for how I look, talk, and act. I wasn't like the other guys. I loved sports, and still do don't get me wrong, but I also was very musical and a nerd. I got called many slurs, such as 'fag', 'queer', you name it. I hadn't even realized I was gay, yet all my classmates made this decision for me.

Eventually I did come out, slowly but surely. I told friend after friend. I initially came out as Bi, but I began to come to terms with only liking boys. However, someone who I thought was my friend had outed me to most of the school. I decided to come out publicly at school. I had no other choice.

I began to develop anxiety and depression. I started to slit my wrists.

I hated myself.

I told my sister and parents about my revelation, and they also had found out about my cutting habit.

They were terrified.

Not because I was gay, they were super accepting, but they were afraid I was going to kill myself. They sent me off to therapy, but it never really has helped until recently.

I spent my teen years crushing on straight guys, something quite unproductive. This lead me further into an even more sinister state of mind. Despite being clean for a couple of years, I started to cut again.

On Christmas Eve during my senior year, I tried to kill myself. I was sent to the hospital, and I felt so guilty for making my parents stay in a hospital during Christmas. How perfect, the happiest time of the year, and I wanted to kill myself.

Eventually, I got "healthy", and graduated in the top five percent of my class. I decided to start school in Florida, where I would live with my aunt and commute. That really didn't work out though.

See, my aunt wasn't the most agreeable person on the face of the planet. She bullied me and my grandmother, who was living down there at the time, quite profusely. I also got involved with people. I had met someone who I thought I could trust. I ended up giving away my virginity to this person, because he said it was going to develop into a relationship. This sunk me back into a horrible state of mind despite being ok for the past half of a year. Things only got worse when conflict arose with my aunt. The constant fighting with her got so bad, I had to drive my grandmother and I all the way back to Buffalo the day my semester ended.

I was lonely, scared, angry, and sad. I had lost friends, and a family member.

Upon returning home, I had learned that my father had lost his job. This crushed me, and I began to self-harm again. I attended school virtually the following semester, and then I transferred back to a local school.

Things were much tougher, which lead to my anxiety spiking to all-time highs. Eventually, I went back to therapy, and I have been dealing with my mental illnesses ever since.

I also started to have horrible body perception issues after leaving Florida, and still continue to do. I go to the gym now every day. I'm told I look great; however, I still see the same fat kid in the mirror every single day.

Now here today arises. Instead of being a year and a half clean from self-harm, I am only two days clean.

My dog passed two days ago. He was my soul, my best friend.

I've also been going back to church quite frequently as I am again struggling to accept my identity, and I feel so lost in regard to my sexuality. I hear that what I feel is wrong, and that I am able to control my urges, yet I feel like I am going to explode if I don't express my true identity.

This all has coalesced in yet again me trying to kill myself two days ago and slitting my wrists. I am no longer feeling like I want to end my life, but I am still so lost and depressed. I feel like the weight of a million suns are pushing down on my chest, while I gasp for a breath.

I have actively been trying to hide my left wrist, but it's hard to do that especially when you live with parents who worry as much as mine do about my well-being.

I also was sending pictures of myself to people I had met on various dating apps. I hated doing that, but my past relationships with people had made me feel like I had to do that to get a boy's attention, and that is the only way I'd be wanted. I hated degrading myself, but I thought I wasn't worth anything to begin with.

This is ultimately what lead me back to church; where I have only felt more confused.

I haven't had sex in nearly two-and-a-half-years now, and I quit self-pleasure. I feel hopeless when it come to love. I feel like I'll never find 'the one', like they always say in TV.

But that all could change.

I have been hanging around this boy. He is in a class of mine. I actually think he may be gay too, and that's not just wishful thinking.

His name is Jacob, and he is just like me.

He loves engineering, and he is passionate about it like me. He is so easy to have and hold a conversation with. He is so smart, and funny.

He is gorgeous too. He has sandy hair and brown eyes. Kind of lanky, but in a cute way. His smile beams like the Las Vegas Strip, and he is so handsome. He has great style.

His scent is what really gets me. I am not sure what cologne he wears, but he smells like the breeze coming off the warm Mediterranean. I desperately want to steal one of his sweatshirts, and just wear it. I want to be surrounded by his aroma. I am usually allergic to such perfumes, but his is so ambrosial.

He looks so cuddly and cozy now that it is winter. He dresses in sweats or jeans, but he wears a big heavy parka every day to school.

Hearing his voice makes me want to jump into his arms. It is so melodic, and deep.

His lips... his lips are so plump and red, like a ripe Gala apple. I want to kiss them so bad. I want to taste his saliva, and caress his face, as he holds me.

But I don't know if he feels the same.

I think I have a crush.

~ Finn

[seoscribbles]

what my life is like on adhd meds

“it’ll be like night and day.” that’s what my doctor told me. this scared me to my core. what if I don’t notice much of a difference? what if i don’t have adhd, and all this time i’ve spent on trying to get a diagnosis was all for nothing? what if i’m just like this? what if i’m just a lazy person, not living up to my potential, and it’s my fault?

or, maybe just as bad, what if they do work? what if it is like night and day? what if something fundamental about myself changes, what if it turns me into a different person? what if my passion for my hyperfixations, my ability to speak at length about whatever is on my mind, my drive and excitement, all fades away into plainness? what if adhd is all that made me special? made me myself?

In the end, it was like night and day. Sometimes moonlight doesn’t illuminate all that the daylight can.

My sight was the first change I noticed. You know when you’re watching old cartoons, and the background is sloppily drawn? The art department didn’t get enough funding, the studio was cutting corners. So the only things that are in detail are the ones that the main characters interact with. That’s how everything felt before I started medication. Everything except for the things that I spent an exorbitant amount of energy trying to focus on was drawn with very little detail, and so the mind does not linger on them long.

And then, the meds kick in. And it’s like the world is in HD. Full colour. And that feeling you have when you ponder the beauty of your surroundings kicks up within you and you can’t believe how the world looked before.

Then there’s the sound. Music feels crisp in my ear. Lyrics come to me like they were always there, and listening to new songs with unfamiliar lyrics doesn’t feel like trying to understand the intercom on the subway anymore. It touches you more intimately. I used to be afraid of talking about music with other people. it didn’t really feel like I got it they way they did.

And you speak with people, and you’re engaged. You realize you can listen to your girlfriend talk for hours about fallout new vegas and not miss a word, and without interrupting. When I talk, I can go as in-depth into a topic as I want, and conversation threads aren’t lost.

My steps are grounded, I walk with more confidence. I hold things and I do not drop them. I walk into rooms confidently and my keys do not disappear.

Then there’s the words. I used to devour words on a page for hours at a time. But that was then, when reading was a distraction from the others. Now, the others are a distraction from the reading, and I couldn’t reach out and touch them anymore. That was the most devastating thing, losing the words.

But I take the meds, and the words come back, like an old friend’s come over again, and it feels like no time has passed since we last spoke. I can read. I can write. I feel like myself.

I was afraid that the medication might make the world seem dull, or make me feel out of touch with myself. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The potential I had, the things I was capable of, were parts of who I knew myself to be. When I failed to meet that potential, not being able to finish readings for classes or forgetting to bring the supplies I needed to tutor my students, I felt  my personhood, my character, my identity, slipping away from me. On meds, the road to getting it back doesn’t seem so difficult.

This isn’t to say that everyone should take meds, or that they’re perfect. I know they are inaccessible to many people, and they were inaccessible to me my entire life. There are side effects, and they are not a cure. But I’m really happy to be able to see the daylight.

[eartht137]

FOR THE BETTER

Hello and greetings to anyone that gets to read this. It is my first story. I wanted to try and see how this was received before continuing so please feel free to let me know how you like it. Please be easy on me it is my first one I am new to this, but I hope you like it. Its a bit slow right now but I swear the chapters will get going as we go along on this ride together. Okay *curvies* love ya! Enjoy!

Dark Clark Kent x (Black)!Plus Size Reader

SUMMARY: (I suck at them but here goes) After working miserable unfulfilling jobs, you decide to go back to school to pursue your dream in writing. You get the very handsome, very smart Mr. Kent as your English/Literature Professor. You've always stayed to yourself preferring to have your alone time and focus on your writing. Mr. Kent comes in to shake that way of thinking up and its all with your best interest at heart (well his best interest at heart){Cheesy, am I right?}

"For the weekend's assignment. Something very simple, almost high school level. Don't complicate it." Mr. Kent said dragging his feet to tell you all what the stupid assignment was.

"Get to the point." You thought out loud as you rested your head in your hand. He glared at you for moment before continuing. You felt your face flush, because-'no way he heard me' you thought.

"I want you all to write me a paper on...one thing you like about yourself and why." He rushed out. "I want you all to be as genuine as possible, if you're going to be journalists you have to capture your audience. If you can sell yourself, then you can sell a story. If you're a snooze fest......I honestly don't know what to tell you" He chuckled

Everyone groaned because why???

"Due next Monday on the dot. NO EXCEPTIONS!" He belted. "If you don't have your paper on Monday, you will stand up and give a 5 minute speech on said topic."

'What kind of teenage topic is this?' You thought.

"Don't give me lip guys, you signed up for this. I didn't make you do anything." He said pointing at all of you. "No complaining. Monday! Class dismissed." He announced causing everyone to scatter. You were just about out the door when he stopped you.

"Y/n, can you stay back for bit?"

"Yeah sure." You immediately got nervous. You weren't used to being singled out, you always managed to stay below the radar. You'd figured out ways to stay out of sight out of mind after always being criticized by your family, so getting asked to stay back wasn't a normal thing. You braced yourself for the "you can do better speech" and hoped it wouldn't take too long. You watched as the room emptied and he gathered his stuff.

"Come on, lets step into my office." He said leading the way with his hands full. "Have a seat." he said motioning to the chair in front of his desk. you sat feeling butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Literally everyone would've given anything to be where you were. Mr. Kent was almost mythical. You didn't know a day where you didn't think 'DAMN that man know he fine!' And you knew he knew it.

"Bet you think I'm gonna talk about your grades." he chuckled. "While I do require your improvement,"

'Require?' you thought hoping your face didn't covey your attitude.

"I wanted to talk about something else."

"O-kay?"

"I've notice, you're very um...to yourself, is everything-"

'Oh there it is.'

"Mr. Kent, please don't analyze me. I am a whole different breed of human. I don't do people."

"I'm sorry?" he asked tilting his head.

"I just value my alone time. You can't have that with people."

"You can still have space with other people in your life." he said shaking his head at you.

"I didn't say space, I said alone time, and that's not the same. That's still with people. Like, no." you said crossing you arms.

He stared at your for a second, the he began to laugh, and rub his eyes. "You really are something."

"Mm-hmm its true."

"I'm just saying its healthy to get out and socialize every once and awhile, not all the time, I mean-don't you get lonely sometimes?

"No, not really. I mean don't give me wrong I'm human. I get the urge to hang out, then I do, then I remember why I didn't want to do it in the first place." you said realizing you were almost ranting. He eyed you as if he didn't believe you.

"I tell you what, I know you say you're fine, but for my sanity, can we be friends? You know just someone to check on you, make sure you're okay? If-if you hate it by the end of the week then I'll let it go."

"Mr. Kent, no offense, but why do you care? I mean, you have your own life, I'm sure you got a nice family you should be there for, so like....I'm gonna need a it all to make sense."

"Its mean, don't get me wrong I enjoy solitude too, and its not because I don't like people," he chuckled, "but I know what its like to sometimes need someone I could just talk to when I really needed it most and not having it. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Its funny because it would always lead me home."

"Well that's the difference between you and me, there is no going back." you sighed. You contemplated it 'It couldn't hurt could it?' "Okay."

"Okay?"

"We can be friends." you resigned.

"Great!" he said clapping his hands together.

"Only til the end of the week." You said standing stretching. "So we good? Can I go?"

"Actually, what are you doing tonight? I mean, my ma is cooking dinner and-"

"Okay anything food related, I'm down." You cut him off.

"Good, well I'll pick you up at 6?"

"Yeah sure." You said trying to get away.

"Uh, Y/n?"

"Yes?" You asked sweetly.

"I'm going to need your address." He said knowing you knew he needed it.

You gave you your information and booked it out of there. You immediately went home and took a nap. The whole ordeal was a bit draining for you.

It was your phones constant vibrating that woke you out of a deep sleep. You let it ring a few more times before picking it up.

"What?" You groaned into the phone.

"Y/n are ready? I'm like 15 minutes away." Mr. Kent asked.

"Ready for what?"

"Food?"

"Food? Food! Oh shit!" You said jumping up remembering dinner plans. "I'll be ready when you get here." You said quickly hanging up and rushing to get ready. By the time you felt you looked decent enough, he called and told he was there. When you walked out to meet him, you saw his girlfriend was with him and you put on a small smile. 'Of course he has a girlfriend, why wouldn't he. Still a bummer though, oh well.' you thought to yourself as you walked toward them.

"Y/n this is Lois, Lois this is Y/n. Lois is one of the top editors at the Daily Planet." He bragged, and you immediately got nervous. You'd read her work and you'd give to be as good, even better at writing.

"It really is nice to meet you, Clark speaks very highly of you and your writing." she said smiling.

"Really? I mean writing is my passion, I'm aspiring to get at least in the door. I'm not an editor or professor, but I think I'm okay." You said realizing you were babbling on because of your anxiety.

"Be confident in your work. It shows when you really mean what you're writing about. It also shows when you're doubting yourself." She said smiling at you. You immediately liked her and hoped to get to know her for advice sometime. You all got in and they fell into easy chatter along the way. Every now and again they'd touch on a topic you'd find interesting or be excited about, and you'd really get into it, smiling and being expressive. You'd catch Clark staring at you, a bit shocked at how much you had to say after months of being so quiet, and you'd retreat like a turtle back into your shell. You tried to not enjoy being around them, but every now and again, you liked talking to people on your level. Every now and again, you'd get lost in the breeze of the night air. You'd look out and get lost looking at the stars and the moon out of the open window of the moving car. You get so lost you forgot the other two people in the car and you'd miss the glances Clark took at you through the rearview mirror. When you all arrived at his moms farm you practically gawked at all the land around. You driven by open field and corn fields, you'd never actually gotten to see it up close.

As you all got out, his mom stepped out and waved at you.

"Well, looks like we got extra family tonight." she said smiling. You immediately felt a bit awkward. "Oh dear don't be shy, any friend of Clark is family." She said pulling you into a big hug.

"Thank you for having me Mrs. Kent." You said smiling.

"No go on now you just call me Martha." she said smiling and leading you inside. "You two come along, you know the routine." She said waving Lois and Clark inside. Dinner was great, you even found yourself laughing out loud. It exhilarated you and scared you to have such a good time around other people. You almost, ALMOST, didn't want the night to end, but you missed your bed. As if reading your mind, Clark announced it was time to leave.

"Looks like someone is ready for bed." He chuckled.

"Yep, I miss my solitude." You said stretching. Clark shook his head at you.

"What?" You asked innocently.

You said your final farewells and got in the car heading home. The ride home was peaceful, there was a calm silence between you three and you smiled watching the love exchanges between the two. You could see how much he loved her and you could understand why, Lois was beautiful woman. Your mind jumped from reasons you weren't in a relationship, to the assignment Clark had given you for the weekend. One thing you like about yourself? That topic was always hard for you and you couldn't even begin to find the words to start. Over the years you'd tried hard to accept yourself, love yourself, and be who you were unapologetically, but the moment you got to the threshold of truly giving yourself a chance, all of the criticism, judgment, and years of being invalidated filled you with fear and dread and you'd go back to your shell and do what you did best. Stay in your own bubble. Tears stung your eyes as you tried to stomp down the voices of doubt and resentment, 'It's okay, I'm good, I do what I have to and I'm happy with it. I'm at peace.' you thought to yourself over and over.

"You okay?" Clarks deep voice full of concerned pulled you from your thoughts and you shook you head to bring yourself back to reality.

"Yeah, just trying to stay awake." you said avoiding his gaze. The ride continued in silence and you couldn't help but drift off. One moment you were letting the ride soothe you to sleep and the next you heard a voice cooing you to sleep.

"Shh shh shh it's okay" Clark whispered. You couldn't help but cover your eyes. You were in Clark's arms as he carried you to the apartment.

"Woah," you said trying to get out of his arms. He gently placed you on your feet like a flower.

"Hey, its okay, calm down." He said gently rubbing your arms.

"S-sorry, I've just never-"

"Had anyone carry you before." He said finishing your sentence. You shifted feeling a bit awkward.

"Well, thanks for dinner. Thanks Lois!" You waved at her before going to your door. "Goodnight." you said one last time as you got inside. During the weekend you were extremely restless and was finding it hard to concentrate long enough to work on your assignment. Even when you sat waiting for words to form in your mind you eventually got busy doing something different. The night before class, you had an idea pop in your head, and you decided to go for it. You just hoped it would all make sense, it was the only think your mind focused on.

[jin0]

hi jin!!! how r u? can you give a Andrew Garfield character if not just give Andrew Garfield himself, the whole package 😏

I have black hair and brown eyes, I'm a virgo sun and a leo moon, Asian, Chinese to be exact, 5'0, ENTJ

I love Taylor Swift I absolutely adore her<3 I also am obsessed with borderline perfection, and if I can't get what I want I can always chase after it(omg I sound like a bitch...) I love to shop, not online shopping,gardening, studying.

I consider myself as someone who is quiet at first but as soon as they get to know me, I'm a chatterbox. My friends described me as a natural leader, passionate and that I'm the person that can make them smile when feeling sad. Inside I'm just a ball of anxiety really. I'm studying to be a future prosecutor if not, a criminologist.

Don't rush this pls! rmb to stay hydrated <3

hi sweetie !! i drank water right after reading this so yeah, hydration is important !!

like you asked :

andrew garfield !!

andrew wasn't the quietest guy ever, he could talk for hours if the subject interested him. he was considered and considered himself a chatter box, a blabber mouth, a talkative person, whatever you wanted. he was easily pulled into a topic and would easily invest himself in discussing whatever it was about if he didn't know of confronting point of view for things he did know.

point being, andrew liked to talk. he loved talking and sometimes would worry that he would never find anyone who would like to debate and talk as much as he did. until you.

because with you, his chatterbox tendencies were outmatched. you talked as much as him, if not more and he was always baffled by the things you said but also by the amount of things you knew.

because this petite woman that he had fallen head over heels for was one of the smartest person he'd ever met.

as he watched you discuss your studies and classes to become a prosecutor, he understood how fucking lucky he was in life. to have someone both talkative and intelligent. he'd always dreamt of being able to find someone who'd teach him more on some of the things in life and that someone was you.

he watched you, falling in live all over again as you threw your hands around to gesture to some of the points you'd made earlier and couldn't help the high pitched giggle that escaped his mouth when you exclaimed at the memory of another event that you felt needed to be mentioned.

"oh ! other thing that could be interesting to mention is that german law is one of the most difficultly built laws in europe ! one of my professors mentioned how back in the days, around like 1804, france was trying to make their own civil code and they wanted to take inspo from other countries yeah ? well they couldn't from germany because they just wrote a big book with all the possibilities ever at the time ! it was so bug that even the germans didn't want to use it !" you explained, looking around and smiling wide.

"and you know that how ?" asked the young man, raising an eyebrow at your new fact.

"i told you ! my professor mentioned it and i decided to make more researches on european laws and their construction ! the uk has the easiest for some because they kinda just use the solutions used in the past ! honestly i understand, making laws is hard !"

"i bet." chuckled your boyfriend. "I'm proud of you for pursuing this career. you look like you're enjoying yourself."

"i am ! everything is both very confusing and very logical in a way ? it's like baking a cake, you don't think you're doing it right until it's out of the oven !" you giggled, doing a little dance at the memory of how confused you were during the first weeks of your studies.

reaching out towards you, you were lifted off your seat and watched curiously as the man you loved sat you on his lap. you sat still, looking straight into his eyes lovingly. you knew how he got when you'd start talking like that.

andrew felt lucky to have you ? well you felt lucky to have him too. you relationships did not end well when it came to the contrast between the quiet girl you were at first and the chatterbox you revealed. most refused to understand that it meant you were comfortable around them. all that mattered was that you talked too much in their eyes.

for andrew, you never talked too much. he'd never cease to crave the sound of your voice. you were surprised to find out he kept recordings of you to use sometimes when he was away on a set. that was when you knew this man was it for you, the only one to not only hear, but listen and care. that was what you deserved, actual conversations and not some nods and grunts.

you felt his hand slide around your back and reach up to your nape, bringing your face down for a kiss. what he loved more that listening to you talk was making you all quiet when he'd kiss you after. exactly like he was doing now.

feeling your breath get stuck in your lungs, you didn't care about suffocating when his lips let yours, erasing all thoughts from your head. he'd kiss you as if it was his only purpose after listening to your gorgeous voice blabber about the wonderful things you learned. this was your reward and you'd never have it any other way

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Small Actions (Create Big Ripples) CC!Plat!Ranboo x GN!Reader

I've been thinking lately about this little drabble and it makes me a bit upset? Like.. I'm in this position high key but theres nothing I can do about it...

(R/R/n) stands for Ranboo's real name. Also if you're really tall.... No you're not. Shhhh. For plot purposes

You stayed away from social media as much as possible. Now, don't get me wrong, you used to love watching Youtubers play their games and happily interact with their fans.. But growing up, you never seemed to have enough money to donate when they streamed, or go to events where they were.

You had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped you through life, or shaped your personality.. Or saved you. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it..

You'd probably just get a simple, "Aw. Happy I could help." Before turning back to their game without blinking twice.

So, you just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show your appreciation.. But you never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'

Eventually it hurt too much to keep watching the content creators that raised you, so you just stopped and went on with your life.

It was hard, but at least you didn't have to deal with the fact that you would never be able to thank the people you watched for making your life that much better.

As time went on, while you still heard about the creators, it was just... less. Now people were non stop blabbering about these people from something called the DreamSMP?

Your sister was obsessed with it to say the least, and you always heard her mumbling about strange people like Technoblade? Or Sapnap? And apparently some people had children with inanimate objects?! Like a Samsung Fridge and a salmon?! Yeah you didn't even bother trying to understand what she was rambling about most of the times. It just spun your head in circles.

"Okay, I gotta take my mutt to the vet," Your sister and closest friend, (S/n), tilted her head towards the backseat to her dog as you sat in the passenger seat. "You think you'll be good to do the shopping for two or so hours? I'll call when I'm finished, and plus I know how you can get distracted with looking at some things."

"Yeah, I think I'll be good." You nodded slightly, going over the list in your hand of things to get for your classes, food and just some clothing for the changing seasons.

(S/n) pulled into the parking lot and looked you over briefly, "You forgot your mask didn't you?" She watched as your hands flew up to your face to feel for the fabric, but you didn't find it so you fished through the pockets of your sweater before smiling nervously at the driver. "Uuugggggggghhhh. Of course. Okay, I got a new one from the merch store that you can use, but do not damage it! I spent a whole $30 on it!"

Scoffing as you rolled your eyes, you snagged the half white and half black mask away from her, "You and your merch. Honestly, (S/n), your obsession scares me. But anyway, thanks. I won't get it damaged, I swear." You pulled the mask onto your face after giving her a smile and walked into the store as she drove off.

Sighing slightly, you walked in, sanitized your hands, and set off on your journey to find the things you needed. Surprisingly, today seemed to be a good day as you miraculously pulled the card that didn't have the busted wheel!

Humming a soft tune to yourself, you paced up and down aisles in search of (S/n)'s favourite coffee. Pausing for a moment as you scanned the shelves, you finally spotted it and made a noise of anger as you realized it was on the very top shelf. "Oh, I hate it here..." You mumbled, a phrase you had picked up from your sister who was really big on trends like that.

Grumbling to yourself, you stood on the tips of your toes, jumped up and down, even climbed the shelves a small bit, but it just seemed to brush by your fingertips every time. Apparently it had been long enough to the point where someone had wandered into the aisle as well.

"Hey... Uh.. Nice mask? You need help?" A male voice asked very hesitantly making your head turn towards him. He was t a l l and literally could tower over you if you got close enough. He had fluffy dirty blonde hair possibly? It looked a little damp so you couldn't really tell. Rain had been in the weather report, but guess it couldn't hold off long enough. Oddly enough, he was wearing dark sunglasses and the exact same mask as you?

'Maybe he's a fan of one of (S/n)'s fandoms?' You stepped back with a sheepish smile and a blush. "Oh! Yes please! Uhm.. Also, could you tell me about what these masks represent? This is my sister's... And I kinda want to make sure I'm not looking like I'm part of some gang or something."

The tall boy reached up for the coffee before pausing midway through and looking at you in surprise. "You don't know who... Oh, it's just from a Twitch Streamer.." He murmured rather softly as he got the coffee down for you.

With a cheerful "Thank you!" You placed the container in the cart. "Oh? Yeah that makes sense. My sister loves that kind of stuff. Are they... A good person?"

"I-I'd like to think so." He nodded quickly. "Are you not.. Like, a fan of content creators? Like.. Uh.. Dream or (P/F/C)?" (Past favourite creator)

"Well... I mean I used to really like (p/f/c) when I was younger. But it kind of... Saddened me, you know?"

He looked at you again and tilted his head a bit, "Saddened you? Did they do something bad?"

"No no! It's just... I try to avoid joining fandoms, even if they make me really happy while in them despite the toxicity. I really enjoy the people who create content, and I like watching them have fun... It's just.." Were you really gonna spill some personal stuff to some stranger who showed you the slightest bit of kindness? Not originally. But he kept watching you, patiently waiting for you to continue the sentence. "They'll... Never know.. How much they saved me."

"Oh.. I see. Yeah.. I've had that happen a lot. When, I watch this guy's streams," He pulled at his mask for a moment, "People always donate money and tell him how much they appreciate him for getting them through rocky times.. It's heartwarming to say the least but he does sound genuinely thankful."

"Oh that's sweet.. What does he do? Or what's he like?" You asked with a smile, although he couldn't see it, as you crouched down to get something from the sheleves. "Unless you have places to be of course!"

He looked a little surprised at first, "Ah... I got time. It's just.. Kinda nice being able to talk to people again after quarantine..." He trailed off briefly before taking something off the shelf as well and putting it in his basket, "Uh.. The streamer is a popular minecraft player. He recently hit a record during a stream and everyone lost their minds. He's a little painfully awkward at some points but he enjoys playing the games and interacting with his chat."

"Oh he sounds nice! I would definitely want to friends with someone like him!" You chuckled softly before frowning and glancing away. "Oh.. Popular.. So I'd be another comment in the flood of a chat.. Damn. I got a little excited. Oh! My bad, I'm (Y/n). Nice to meet you!" You laughed softly in an attempt to brush off the sad atmosphere you made.

"(R/r/n). But everyone just calls me Ranboo. Nice to meet you too." He sounded as if he was smiling but there was a soft sadness in his tone. "Do you not like popular streamers then?"

"No, it's just... that I had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped me through life, or shaped my personality.. Or saved me.. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it.. I suppose it just left me feeling a bit hopeless and like a broken record of every other fan of theirs. So, I just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show appreciation.. But I never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'.."

Ranboo seemed slightly more upset and he shifted his basket into his other hand, "I don't think it's like that at all.. I believe that streamers and creators truly cherish anyone who even interacts with their videos, and even though they know there's some people in the world who can't say anything or buy their merchandise, the creators still know that they're there. They appreciate everyone who comes along their path, whether they support them by giving them money, criticism or their attention!"

You blinked at how... Passionate your new friend was about this topic before smiling softly. "I guess... It never passed my mind.. Thank you Ranboo.. Hey, you wanna be friends and get to know each other more?"

His expression was unreadable due to the fabric covering his mouth and nose, and the glasses covering his eyes. "Oh! Sure!" He sounded quite happy, so you were guessing that you weren't being too awkward. "Here's my number, as long as you promise to never give it to anyone. Even if someone wants to get to know me, okay?"

You took out your phone and looked at him with a strange expression, but quickly nodded. 'Maybe he is just really strict about his privacy.' Once he gave you the number, you sent a quick text to him to give him your contact in return. "Great! It was wonderful meeting you, I hope we can hang out more often! After.. covid of course."

Eagerly nodding, Ranboo finished writing your contact into his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. "Oh yeah definitely! I'll see you soon, (Y/n)!"

Parting your separate ways, you looked down at the newly added contact, 🤍Ranboo🖤 (Platonic hearts), with a smile.

Maybe small actions weren't as useless as you thought...

[the-shiftshop]

Hey Diary - Part 4

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3 and SIDE STORY 1 of the Hey Diary Series

The day ended unexpectedly fun. Everyone was so confused why Keith and I had been laughing together, eating together and even sitting side by side in class today as if Keith never had bullied me. Some even tried to confront us, asking if Keith held me hostage. Keith had been dragging me all around with him. He even asked me to play ball with Peter and Tom, who seemed more closer than usual. I would make assumptions that my recent changes are still affecting them, but I already had deleted that log, and these two would, time by time, give hints that they’re nothing more than a friend, so I shrugged it off.

On my way home, I couldn’t get the fun out of my system. I finally felt so free to move. It’s like I can finally do whatever I want and be whatever I want to be.

Then I suddenly remembered what Keith had asked me this morning.

“Make me old enough to be a teacher for a day.”

It got me thinking about what he’s planning to do once more. It’s not that I don’t trust Keith. It’s just that I’m wondering what his goal is. It’s probably just because he wants to experience being old, or being a teacher. He looked so exhilarated when I told him all about the Diary App, so I’m pretty sure he just wants to give it a try.

At home, I didn’t waste anymore time to tinker with the app as I am very tired and I already want to fall asleep. I carefully wrote down on the app, thinking of the desired outcome I am aiming for.

Monday

Hey Diary,

Today was fun. It felt like I was friends with Keith, Peter and Tom ever since the first day we met. We all had fun together and it felt like all my problems are fixed. This morning, I talked to Keith about this Diary App. I have trusted Keith on this, and I do hope he wouldn’t take that for granted. He was super amazed with this app and the ability of it to change reality and he specifically gave me one request.

I wish that would come true, I wish Keith would turn into the person he want him to be just for a day, and that he would be aware of any changes that may occur.

With that properly typed out, I pressed save, then in just a few seconds, I lost consciousness on my bed.

---------

As soon as Felix fainted in his room, Keith was lying on his bed in the frat house, tossing and turning as he feel his body contort in uncomfortable ways. It wasn’t painful. It just felt like his body is growing far more foreign in every seconds that pass by. It’s like his body wanting to grow numb, but he can still feel pain if he try to pinch himself. With his fingers still pinching his cheeks, he noticed hair poking out to them. He proceeded to feel his face with both his hands, realizing that he’s growing a full beard. Finally recognizing what’s going on, he stopped moving around, and he instead just lied on his back and let it all happen.

He moved his hands down to his growing torso, feeling each muscles expand in his touch. He’s growing, that’s for sure, and it’s not just his body. His mind started to fog up a little, making him wince for a bit.

“I should be working on my lessons for tomorrow-” He blurted out unconsciously. He stopped himself midway, realizing what he had just said. That was the first time he said that. And not only that he meant he’ll study for a lesson, he knows he meant that he’s the one teaching them tomorrow.

He finally decided to stand up. His eyes widened when he saw that it had suddenly gone dark. Not only that, but his beddings changed. His shock soon changed into amusement when we quickly see the night change into day then back to night simultaneously, starting off slow, then it sped up. Even the weird feelings all over his body start to feel more prominent. Memories of years of teaching poured out into his brain. Names of all the student he should know popped out in his mind. Charles, that up-to-no-good student but gets straight As in his class; Marie, that campus nerd who kept asking him weird questions; Lawrence, that jock who needs to keep up with his quizzes. Keith already knew some of these students, but he started to see them in a different light. These are the students he teach, not his friends, not his classmates, not his football teammates.

Keith fell back on his knees as he started to feel tiredness.

It was exhausting feeling all of these happen in just a few minutes. It hurts his eyes to see the outside change between night and day as if like flashing images. His vision started to blur and in replace to his clear sight, a thick round glasses appear on his face.

He remember finishing college and finally started his first practice teaching. Now he’s a fully pledged professor. Everyone liked him. He can even remember students confessing their feelings for him, but of course, declining these for his job. He can remember going into classrooms, not to sit with the crowd, but to stand in front of them. He knows how to make a hard topic fun and he knows his students enjoy his class as much as how he loves to teach.

Tiredness was replaced with pleasure as he arched his back, placing both hands on his crotch, then giving a loud satisfying moan. Feeling his cock ballooned through his shorts. He slowly humped against his hands as he put more pressure on them.

He remember tons of hook ups from college up to recent. Remembering women bouncing on him, kissing him passionately, touching him with deep romantic and sexual connection. These thoughts of women is making him hard. His colleagues had been asking him why he haven’t been properly dating anyone yet, or even planning to marry anyone since he’s already nearing age of marriage, but he just enjoys having flings with a lot of people more than sticking to one, at least, for now. He knows when he will find that right person, and that person has not come yet.

He realized that both of his hands are already in his underpants, pawing that hard cock with one hand, while the other is teasing his tip. He finally had let both of his hands stroke his large shaft. He pulled his cock out of his shorts, then finally gave into pleasure.

“A-Ah! Yeah! Damn!” He cussed in his new deeper voice. Not only that he noticed his voice, he realized that his cursing got more softer, less of that slurs, but more of that expression used to show immense satisfaction. “Aww.. This feels so...”

He cut himself as he finally real his climax, cumming all of what seemed like a 14 year stock of cum all over the floor. The cum stain on the floor disappeared soon enough and his room straightened up more. Finally the quick changing of time came to a full stop.

It was morning and it’s time to take a shower and go to school.

---------

Wish was completed. Please take a picture and attach to the log to confirm change and to keep the new reality.

I stared at the pop-up message in my phone. Peter and Tom are laughing beside me while they eat their lunch. I haven’t seen Keith since morning. I’m kinda worried if I messed up with something. The suspense is killing me and I don’t like this. Tom waved a hand in front of me.

“Dude. You’re been staring in your phone since the time you got here. You fine?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just wondering where Keith has gone to.” I said.

“Keith? Who’s Keith?” Tom asked, before giving me a shocked face. “You don’t mean Professor Keith, right?” He chuckled, “Didn’t know he’s your type.” He joked.

I gave him a confused look, then realizing what he meant, I quickly tried to reply back. “N-No! It’s not like that-”

“Tom, don’t tease him. Let him like whoever he likes.” Peter laughed.

“I mean, I should’ve been saying the same. But then, who wouldn’t fall head over heels for Professor Keith? He’s damn ripped. Unlike the other professors here who focus on growing their stomach and ego, more than growing their muscles.” Tom continued eating his food.

Keith’s a professor now, huh? I guess it worked.

After lunch, we proceeded to class. More than usual, everyone had been talking about Keith. I was sitting on my chair, still staring in my phone as it display the same message. I haven’t used this phone on anything else yet.

My attention switched to Alex who walked in front of me. I haven’t seen Alex in 2 days. He looks like he wants to ask me something. I looked at him and he opened his mouth. “Hey, Felix, uhm... Can we talk-”

“Okay, class back to your seats.”

A deep voice came booming through the room. Everyone sat back to their chairs, including Alex who looks disappointed.

I looked at the man by the whiteboard. He was wearing a denim dress shirt and a black jeans. His round glasses flare with the florescent light in the room. Everyone in the room is staring at him. Most girls are looking at him with hearts in their eyes.

The man dropped his things on the table, then started roaming his eyes around the room. “Before we start our lesson. Felix, a word.” He called onto me. I looked around to see everyone looking to my direction, most of them in shock. “Come now.” He said, walking out the room.

I hurried out to follow him somewhere. He didn’t bother looking back, and I just rushed to follow him. He finally stopped where there are barely no students around. He sat down by the window and stared at me. I just stared at him back, looking from his head to toe. He scuffed and gave me a short chuckle.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He grinned.

“I- Uhm. Sorry, prof. I don’t swing-”

“Nah! I’m messing with you, man!” He laughed. “It’s me! Keith! Well, it’s Professor Keith for you now.”

My eyes widened. This man is Keith. It worked. I mean why am I so surprised right now? I’m the one who knows about this Diary App.

“I’m enjoying this knowledge so much! I know about A LOT of stuff I never knew before. So this is how it feels to be a professor.” He flexed, touched his muscles, and basically showed off. He pulled out an apple and tossed it around. “A students gave this to me today. I never received any offer from anyone.”

“You like it?” I asked him.

“I like it? I LOVE IT! Though, I might not stay like this forever, at least I don’t want to.” He replied.

I raised my eyebrows. “Why?” I asked him.

“Well... For now I want to enjoy being this kind of adult.” He answered.

He stopped for a while, running his fingers against his chin. He then took a bite from the apple he was holding, chewing it thoroughly, then swallowing.

“The reason why I’m asking your help is... I want to experience being different people for the whole week.”