#new born baby than i dont actually know what to tell you lmao. this is all just what i got from pop culture osmosis
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#every single time i see someone trying to defend the new twilight series#the most popular excuse seems to be that they're sure indigenous actors will be hired.#&this is just. SO confusing for me lmao.#the issue w indigenous rep in that movie does not start nor end w the fact that no one from the Quileute tribe was hired for the movie.#like if you think sensitivity hiring can fix a narrarive where indigenous men were explicitly made to be vicious beasts&the primary#person from the tribe spends the entire story desperately chasing a yt girl&ends w him realizing that actually hes in love w her#new born baby than i dont actually know what to tell you lmao. this is all just what i got from pop culture osmosis#&that sentence has so many horrible+flat out dangerous stereotypes about indigenous men that i am left almost speechless lmao.#anyway i dont even see how they could possibly make this story into an actual serial show but i guess its not a coincidence#that a writers strike is happening right when this absolute fucking trash is being made LMAO.
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Very exciting news - i converted my main tumblr blog because it was supposed to be a blog for me to try and post about writing and became inundated w minecraft boys so here we are - feral mumbo anon is off anon >:) now i no longer have to worry about hitting the button hehehe
UH SO GRIAN AND MUMBO???? Gayer than hell. Gayer than the devil himself. No normal person sees an ex-engagement gift in their friend's bag and go 'no hes MINE' BOYS THATS GAY YOU ARE BEING GAY
Also all of scars backstory aaaaah. Did i wake up at 3 am and read this again so my thoughts are incoherent at best yes. But lil baby scar and cub were so cuiuuute oh my god two lil 7 year olds just out here makin it til they break it
I do love how the entire time scar was like "I am Aware cub and I share a birthday [i think???], got 🌟 randomly 🌟 paired up as kids, are two entirely different classes, and debuted super early. And hes so smart. And somehow an arranged marriage never crossed his mind. Jesus the DEVASTATION
Also the awkward teen kisses were everything tbh. I love when teenagers are like "*shuffles nervously* i know what im doing" bless them.
But scar???? Telling off the entire elven court in front of them and getting free because of Cleo??? I love it. Brave man, he deserves the world. I cant wait to meet cleo tbh, at least i hope we do. Cleo my beloved. But also i hope we meet the elven king not in a memory because something tells me bird brain and blood brain would do something drastic and dumb, like yell at him. Or punch him. 👌
But also just like, for them to get to sit their and assure scar that their friendship [and love] comes with no strings attached is everything to me. For this to be the moment both grian and mumbo are looking at each other like - "Wait a minute- Scar-?" Cannot wait for them to have that conversation tbh. Imagine looking at your boyfriend, realizing hes got feelings, and being like "oh thank god" if these two dont TALK i am gonna go MAD i am NOT a slow burn girlie pop
Oooooh nice, welcome to non-anon <3 Nice to *formally* meet you~ <3 If only I could be main blog </3
They are SO gay Grian really saw that old engagement jewelry and was like "break it break it breAK IT-" his first thought was really "hold up wait a minute just a sec wait Scar's around my age his ex whatever could still be around I don't Like That(tm)" lmao just wait until Cub actually shows up cough AND YEAH Mumbo was chill until he learned what it meant and then he just. "No" lmao
Writing Elven children is weird cuz you have to find that balance between "super formal society" and "children are children regardless" and just jgfdkl little Scar had my heart while writing <3 little Cub did too ofc just babies <3
[same birth month&year basically but close enough to same day for beings that live 700+ years <3 Elves are so long-lived that it's not UNusual to be born in the same year but definitely not the norm, but to be born in the same month is like. Very unusual <3] Have I mentioned that Scar can be so oblivious lmao BUT ALSO to be FAIR to him, he knows absolutely no one who has ever been in an arranged marriage, his cousins are between 5 and 200 years older (the King is his great great great grandfather lmao there's a lot of gens there and long lived species whoo) than him and only a handful of them are married to people they chose so poor thing literally looked at this situation like "Grandfather wouldn't invite just anyone to the Palace especially when he's so overprotective... I'm sure that doesn't mean anything for me specifically" lmao But like. For him it wouldn't have been that BAD if they had just TOLD him, because if he had known from the start he'd have seen it as him and Cub making the best of an unfair situation, but because he was never told until the engagement day every Moment(tm) between them felt like a LIE which </3 Hurts so bad- Also Scar being aware of the class difference I knew needed addressing at some point which is also why it's important that Cub made the first move, even though Cub was already aware that he would end up marrying Scar and Scar wasn't kfdsjlk
hgjkfdgjk precious children just trying to act like mature grown ups but at the end of the day they're still teenagers who have no clue what they're doing and share awkward nervous kisses <3
The fact that literally the only people who TRIED to stop him were the King, his mother and to a degree, Cub (though what was Cub going to say, I wonder...) even though the Court was full of their most immediate family? I mean. If that doesn't speak to something Scar hadn't noticed at the time- :) Cleo really had this little knobby teenager come to them with an engagement piece in his hair and break down about how his entire life has been a lie and everyone he thought loved him was just using him and said "This is not happening. Nope, not happening. Run, kid" Cleo is my absolute beloved <3 I love them. Now I wonder why Scar is so hesitant to meet up with them... :) Haha we definitely haven't seen the last of the Fae King. Unfortunately for Grian and Mumbo, if there is ever an OP character in this series, uh, it's definitely the Fae King. (Not OP enough to save Scar tho </3 rip) And meeting him might not be under the best circumstances... :) I wonder how that will be resolved, huh. I hope everyone understands Unreliable Narrator tag means Everything Is Not What It Seems while also not assuming it means the King isn't an ass at the same time
Yessssss <3 we love a good "no strings attached" love story <3 Just three guys who love each other very much and have no ulterior motives <3 HAHA yes <3 them just looking at each other like "ohh okay I see, this is good" jkgfdlkfdsk NOT A SLOW BURN GIRLIE how have you survived 90k+ words without a single Scar-Kiss <3 Did the accidental flirting and the bite tie you over my friend <3 hhhahjfd-
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I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre
Chapter 1
Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart
WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC
PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!
King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK
This baby so cute 🥺
I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while
Congrats on Baki for that mantis
Chapter 2
Who tf is this kid?
Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki
Look at my boyyy
HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET
Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT
Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"
Chapter 3
AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO
But i like Baki memeing a round a lil
Chapter 4
🥺🥺 that's so sweet...
HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳
Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao
I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self
Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright
Chapter 5
Yuri? 🥺 /j
THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!
Chapter 6
I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33
Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king
Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?
We all salivating
Chapter 7
Love to see there are even more swears there now
I can put my face next to my foot too tho
FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍
Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca
WHAT?!
I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him
Chapter 8
"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY
This fight is going to be good
Chapter 9
Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao
Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?
Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)
Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰
Chapter 10
OH FUCK IT'S TRUE
Chapter 11
This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break
Baki just can't win against nature eh
This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda
Chapter 12
I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers
This fight is slow but cool but slow
To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎
Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so
Chapter 13
I MISS IGARI FUCKKK
This is so dumb i luv it
That mantis be swearing lmao
Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro
Chapter 14
TOBA...
Holy fuck do mantis fly?
Secret Chapter?
Is this how Yujiro got born?
Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you
WHAT.
I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK
I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing
AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD
Chapter 15
GAIA...
Why is he like this?
Is "he" with us right now?
...gotta admit that IS true...
I love Strydum sksgwhwg
Yujiro really went XD
I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong
Chapter 16
GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!
ANIME KENNEDY?!
I can't believe Bush is dead
AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...
8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn
I'm sorry, what?
LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭
I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH
This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser
Chapter 17
BIG NUMBER
That one mf like 😐
Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌
Love to see Oliva back
Chapter 18
This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore
I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still
Toba used to just chew that off
Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?
I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.
Chapter 19
Yanagi baby i miss you...
IRON MICHAEL?!
Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴
Eh got my hopes too high
CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS
I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE
I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo
Chapter 20
HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD
I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭
Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so
Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day
He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too
Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj
Chapter 21
Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...
Chapter 22
GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"
I'm falling in love with this boludo myself
That's talented and brutal
OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT
Chapter 23
Hm that's, cringe
YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO
OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS
Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao
King shit Baki boy
Chapter 24
Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair
I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least
Chapter 25
I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally
I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments
OH SHIT
😳 :Y
He's sooo nice 😍
Chapter 26
Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️
HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3
I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn
What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍
GET HIS ASS BAKI
Chapter 27
Why is this guy sweating sm?
LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS
I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl
Chapter 28
I feel like Ian will die
Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book
Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down
I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do
Chapter 29
Their faces remind me of Doyle
OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME
ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔
I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage
Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair
Chapter 30
The mouth vs Yujiro when?
Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️
Chapter 31
Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing
These three must be great at sex (sorry)
KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"
Chapter 32
Hehe hello Junnn~
KSHAKDHKWGS
La luna
Chapter 33
LOS TRES...
Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)
I'm so glad i know Spanish
The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian
OSHSKWGSKSG
Chapter 34
Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did
With his own blood, that's so cool...
Hoho...!
I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well
Chapter 35
This book is fucking boring NGL
"now that you got no more urine left in you"
AH.
GAHDYR LMAO
Chapter 36
HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN
HHH he kinda cute...
Oww :(
JDJSJFRGAJ
God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before
AND he took a piss.
LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS
Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔
ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW
Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j
Chapter 37
I luv Oliva lol
AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED
I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is
Chapter 38
LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG
He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/
Oliva is a king
OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-
Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young
Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos
Baki is just dead
Chapter 39
I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time
POOR GUY AJSGSWJW
I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so
Chapter 40
I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl
I feel happy for him tho 🥺
Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐
Chapter 41
These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet
YO INSANE
Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰
Chapter 42
Damn she lorge
He loves fighting naked eh
Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true
Chapter 43
Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold
El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,
Something something fingering joke
Sikorski could fold a coin too
I bet the bandana will break
Chapter 44
I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?
Oh that super fun to know!
Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!
Chapter 45
NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM
This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters
Chapter 46
They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point
LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???
Baki wants his protagonism back
I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐
Chapter 47
Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭
His damn bandana...
#luly talks#i hit character limit already waaa :(#but I'm too into this to stop reading lol#btg#this saga is a bit boring but el che is funny :)#baki liveblog
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➸ call me baby {3/3}
BROOKLYN
pairing: bucky barnes x reader | biker au
warnings: Swearing, smoking.
word count: 8k
synopsis: Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker. And when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either. That was until you met one with pretty eyes and a habit of calling you baby.
series masterlist
a/n: jfc,,, i can’t believe i’ve finally finished writing this lmao i’m sorry it took so long my dudes. thank you to everyone who has shown support for this fic, and i hope you all enjoy the final part !!💛
“I’m going to miss having you around, _____. It’s been nice having another girl here who isn’t afraid to put a shitty customer in their place.” Wanda smiled, handing you a white envelope with your final salary enclosed inside.
Folding the envelope and tucking it into your jean pocket, you chuckled heartily. “I think you and your pistol will do just fine without me. Thanks for having me here for the summer, Wan. I wouldn’t even be leaving if it wasn’t for this job.”
Her grin widened as she pulled you into a warm hug. “There’ll always be a job here for you — summer, winter, any time you need it.”
After you’d said one final thanks and goodbye to Wanda, you exited the bar doors for the last time and crossed the sidewalk to where Peggy was waiting in her car for you. In a matter of hours, you’d be spending the night in Brooklyn one last time, and your summer would be over.
Initially, you were expecting a couple of months solely spent with your best friend. Lounging on shimmering sandy beaches, drinking wine and laughing till dusk in your backyard, listening to her harp on about her dreamy new boyfriend while you rambled about all the places you’d visited. You couldn’t have imagined it to be more different than it was. Sure, you had done all of that with Peggy, but she wasn’t the only one that’d shaped your summer. Following the motorcycle ride at five in the morning with a certain biker, you’d only grown more attached to each other. He couldn’t ever keep his hands off you, and you couldn’t ever bring yourself to leave the clubhouse after a day spent with him. If the rest of the club ever caught on to yours and Bucky’s affair, then they never mentioned it. You were sure that was because of Peggy. She knew it was better to leave you be, considering Bucky was the first person you’d opened your heart to in a long time.
Some days were spent simply in his bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of underwear under his silk sheets, constantly switching between telling one another about your lives, your childhoods, passions, fears, and stripping out of your little clothing and letting yourselves completely give into each other. Some days were spent wandering the streets of Brooklyn hand in hand, Bucky showing you all the alleys and parks he’d found Steve attempting to fight guys twice the size of him, you pointing out the diners and stores you used to drag Peggy to on the weekends in high school. Every day was spent getting to know one another though, and every day spent with Bucky was never a day wasted. The only down side to every moment your were with him was that they’d only add up to it hurting even more when you inevitably left, and that time was arriving very soon.
Peggy drove you home from the bar to collect your packed backpack and suitcase before bringing you down to the clubhouse for the rest of the night. She teased you about going soft since you’d gotten close to Bucky, wanting to spend your last night with your summer love as she called him. The girl received an unimpressed glare for the comment, but what she said wasn’t exactly untrue. If you’d told yourself a year ago that your summer in Brooklyn would find you all starry-eyed for a biker you’d only just met in June, you would’ve likely pushed aside any plan to return to the place at all. Peggy would forced your ass back to Brooklyn, of course; perhaps there would’ve always been something that led you back to your hometown, to him. Christ, you were getting soft.
There was a crease between your brows as you retrieved the envelope of cash from your pocket and gently ripped it open in your lap. It felt a little... thicker than it usually was — more than what you normally earned from a week’s worth of work. As your eyes met the wad of green bills inside, they widened in shock. Yep, definitely more than your usual salary. Way more to just be a mistake on Wanda’s part.
The large sum of cash even caught Peggy’s eye from her place in the driver’s seat. “Wanda must’ve really taken a liking to you. Perhaps doubling your salary is a plea to make you stay.”
A breathless laugh escaped your lips as you ran your thumb over the edges of the bills. “If it is, that girl knows exactly what she’s doing. Maybe travelling isn’t my true calling after all.”
While they was a playfulness to your tone, you couldn’t help but notice the brunette’s smile falter at your words. Peggy was like you in a way; she wasn’t soft, often being as upfront and stubborn as you were. However, she didn’t like opening up to people about herself all that much. Not that you were necessarily thriving in that department either, but when it came to Steve, she’d said it’d took her a while to even mention her brother’s passing to him. He hadn’t known she even had a brother before Peggy brought it up a long while after they’d began dating. Peggy possessed a lot of self confidence, and she had every right to do so. Being vulnerable and open just tended to put her at unease, and when you caught her acting a little off, it took some gentle coaxing to get her to open up.
“Are you okay?” You offered her a comforting smile, to which she didn’t quite return.
“Peachy,” She replied half-heartedly, hands tightening on the steering wheel. Glancing briefly at you, she spotted the crinkle in your brows and your pursed lips. Seeing as you never took your eyes off her, she sighed. “What is it?”
“Peggy, I don’t know how long it’s gonna be before I see you again. If something’s up, please tell me.”
Her tongue hesitantly ran across her bottom lip, fingers readjusting on the steering wheel. “It’s nothing, really. It’s just... I didn’t realise how much I’d missed having you here. I know it’s selfish, but I’d be lying if I said I was excited to see you off tomorrow.”
You shuffled in your seat, turning to face your friend more directly. “It’s not selfish, Pegs. Of course you don’t want me to go, I’m the shining light of your life—”
“_____...”
“Sorry, I know I’m annoying. Can’t help it,” You apologised, internally cursing yourself out. One serious conversation. You can have one serious conversation, come on. “I mean it, though; I don’t think it’s selfish. If you were jetting off to London tomorrow, I’d feel the same— oh, red light!”
The car came to an abrupt stop in front of the traffic lights, your seatbelt pressing tightly against you chest. Before you could reprimand your friend and tell her that putting you in hospital isn’t a viable way to stop you from leaving, she was turning to you with a surprised stare.
“You’re going to London? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I mean, I actually just made the decision five minutes ago, but yeah, I’m going to London.”
Peggy let out a disbelieving laugh. “You haven’t even booked your flight yet?”
“I didn’t even have the money to go an hour ago!” You exclaimed. “But with all this cash from Wanda, I think I’ll be able to make it there. I’ve been travelling the US for a year now, Pegs. I wanna go somewhere new. Somewhere fresh, the land of milky tea and buttery crumpets. I can go to the Queens house—”
“You have a lot of nerve saying all of this to someone who was born in England.” She glared softly, pressing her foot down on the gas when the green light appeared.
An amused smile crept onto your lips. “Hm, I will need someone to Facetime twenty four-seven to tell me all the places I need to visit, preferably English and born in London...”
“So you’ll talk to me solely because my nationality is of use to you?”
You rolled your eyes. “I might miss you a little bit too.”
“Thanks.”
“It’s hard being without you too, you know,” You spoke more seriously, catching Peggy slightly off guard. “Travelling is great and all, but some days I do wake up in my motel room and wish I was back home, spending the day with my best friend.”
While her eyes were still focused on the road, a warm smile was clearly pulling at the brunette’s lips. “Just... don’t stay away for too long this time, okay?”
“You’ll see me again before next summer, I promise.”
“Hm, I’m going to need that in writing.”
“I’ll even record a video for you; I’ll buy a tripod, get some good lighting, one of those fluffy microphones—”
Peggy cut you off with a hearty chuckle, dark, conditioned curls bouncing as she shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m actually going to miss your ability to make a joke out of everything.”
You scoffed, placing a hand on your chest in mock shock. “Christ, now that is something that needs to be in writing. I’m hiring us a lawyer, he can draw us both up contracts.”
“Dont forget to book your flight first.” Peggy chimed in.
“Right, I have a lot of things I need to do today. Bucky’s gonna have to give me a minute before he can have me to himself... and I’ll need to lend his computer.”
As your gaze averted to the passing by buildings out of the car window, Peggy grinned contentedly to herself. She could see exactly why you’d been the one Bucky had really fallen for, though she couldn’t help but wonder how he’d handle your departure to a whole other continent.
However, you’d promised you were coming back soon, and there wasn’t a doubt in Peggy’s mind that he’d be counting down the hours once you stepped onto your flight.
* * *
“London, huh?” Bucky’s voice caught your attention as he entered the office, a beer bottle in each hand.
As you confirmed the booking of your flight for the next morning, you swirled around in the cushioned desk chair, taking one of the bottles once the man had approached you. “Did Peggy spill the beans already?”
“Heard her talkin’ to Steve in the garage,” He pressed his own bottle to his lips, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Doesn’t seem like five minutes since you first arrived, when you came into the backyard in those little black and white shorts.”
Standing up, you shot him an eye roll. “I’m sure that’s all you can remember from that day, perv.”
“What do you remember then?”
You hummed, leaning into Bucky as you let his arms envelop your waist. “I remember wondering why everyone was wearing leather jackets in eighty degree weather. Oh, and that I thought you were a dick.”
The biker didn’t seem offended in the slightest at your statement, only grinning and pulling you closer. “Hm, and what about the day at the carnival? Wasn’t that a good day?”
“No, I had to endure you flirting with those girls in front of us in the drop tower line. I was almost sick before we even got on the ride.”
“Oh, that?” He let out a laugh, cheeks faintly tinting pink. “I was only trying to make you a little jealous. Seems like it worked.”
You scoffed. “It did not work,” It definitely had worked.
“You liked when I held your hand on the ride though, didn’t you?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“You know what? Fine. I did,” You admitted, eliciting a smug smile from Bucky. “But I’m only admitting that ‘cause I’m leaving tomorrow. Don’t think I’m going soft on you.”
He ran his tongue along his lower lip, leaning closer to speak against your lips. “Wouldn’t be stupid enough to dream of it.”
Smiling in satisfaction, you moved an inch closer and let his lips meet yours, a warm feeling emerging in your chest. The kiss remained gentle as your fingers pushed some of his hair away from his face, before you pulled back reluctantly to breathe. Blue eyes pierced into yours after fluttering open almost hazily.
“Would it be stupid to ask you to stay?” Bucky asked quietly, though he knew the answer already.
A weak nod and an empathetic smile; you pecked the corner of his lips before stepping back completely as if you suddenly felt you’d been standing too close. Bucky had never seen you holding your tongue, but that seemed to be what you were doing as you put some distance between the two of you.
There was an uncomfortable silence, the warmth from your body dissipated and replaced with an aching coldness. Perhaps telling yourself all summer that you could worry about yours and Bucky’s future at the end of August was a terribly bad idea, because now it was hitting you — maybe there’s wasn’t a future for the two of you at all.
“I’ll wait for you, you know.” The biker’s voice broke the quiet, the words slicing through you.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, Bucky. I don’t think I can ask you to do that.” You breathed, meeting his eyes hesitantly.
“You’re not asking me to, I want to,” He stated, worrying his teeth over his bottom lip. “Unless... that’s not what you really want?”
Truthfully, the idea of Bucky seeing anyone else once you’d left made your stomach turn. In an ideal world, you’d like it if he was just yours. Only yours, because you guaranteed that there wasn’t anybody else that could make you feel the way that he did. But you couldn’t force him to wait for a girl that strayed away from their hometown for longer than they stayed, no matter how much it’d end up hurting you.
“It wouldn’t be fair, Bucky, to either of us. We can’t really be together when I’m only gonna come back for the holidays—”
“Was this just a summer thing to you?” He questioned, a mix of regret and frustration flashing in his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have asked that, but some part of him was oddly curious to.
Your previously calm expression turned sour as you furrowed your brows and scoffed. “You’re—you’re kidding, right? Did you just— of course it wasn’t just a summer thing to me, you asshole.”
Admittedly, it hurt that he’d even had the nerve to think that. You’d asked him if you shouldn’t have started something together that inevitably was going to end and he said he didn’t regret it. While being together could technically only last for the summer months, it wasn’t just a fling. There were feelings there that you weren’t going to be able to shake off, memories that were going to be carved into your mind forever. Did he seriously think that it was all just temporary on your part?
“Then would staying really be so bad?” Bucky retorted. What he was saying was only making you angrier, but he couldn’t help but be honest. Perhaps it just hadn’t hit him that you were really leaving in less than twenty four hours until that very moment, and everything that left him mouth was coming from a deep place of, well, sadness.
You shook your head in disbelief. “You’re being selfish.”
“Aren’t I allowed to be? We’ve spent a whole summer together and this time tomorrow you’re gonna be thousands of miles away from here—”
“And you don’t think I’ll be hurt either?” You intervened, cocking a brow. “You think I’ll be skipping through the airport utterly thrilled to be leaving you?”
Bucky was silent, too silent for too long. You scoffed, ignoring the way he was biting down in his cheek and the faint glossiness of his eyes in your annoyance. “You knew I was gonna have to leave eventually, Bucky. If you knew weren’t going to be able to accept that... then you never should’ve asked me to stay that night.”
That night; no further explanation was needed to identify which of the many nights spent together you were talking about. It was that night when you fell inexplicably hard for Bucky, when you decided that you might never have the chance to fall in the way you’d fallen for him ever again and that you’d only regret not staying the night. Not letting him strip you of your clothes and shed his own, not letting him make love to you, not letting him wake up to you admiring his every feature. If he knew he wouldn’t be able to let you go so easily, then having you stay that night was purely unwise of him.
When Bucky didn’t you respond one again after a few moments, you sighed deeply, crossing your arms over your chest. Though your expression had softened, your tone was still rather cold. “It’s never been just a fling with you, and if after all the damn time we’ve been spending together you thought there was a chance I might’ve thought that, then maybe you don’t feel the way I thought you felt about me at all.”
The biker’s features fell as he watched you chew your bottom lip and stalk towards the door — doubting his feelings for you was the last thing he wanted you to do. He let his boot collide with the bottom of his desk in frustration as you shut the office door behind you.
He hadn’t meant to start a dispute. It was your last god damn night in Brooklyn, of course he didn’t want to spend it receiving the cold shoulder from you. You’d probably gone out and found the rest of the guys, perhaps even went to drag Peggy aside to tell her how much of a dick he’d just been, which he’d understand. He had a feeling you wouldn’t do that though; instead you’d go out and pretend everything was fine because you wouldn’t dare let anyone know that he’d managed to hurt your feelings — always so stubborn.
Relationships were not Bucky’s forte. It’s not like he’d ever been looking for one; he was still young, he had still wanted to have fun for a little while before finally settling down like his mother had been bugging him to since he’d moved out. While he wasn’t the type to sleep with a girl and never call them again, he wasn’t exactly the type to, well... sleep with a girl and do anything else with them. He hated the talking stages of a relationship, despised them with all his being. Everyone he knew insisted that he had to get through them to actually have a deeper relationship with someone, but he really just couldn’t will himself to do it. So when there didn’t seem to be a weird talking stage with you, he was pretty happy about it.
It wasn’t like he was forcing himself to try and develop a connection with you, he’d hardly been interested in dating anyone when you’d first arrived. But then it all happened so naturally and now look at the two of you — well, you were mad at him and he was standing in the office alone like an idiot.
He knew better than to follow you outside and try to play friendly with you in front of everyone else. Giving you and himself a bit of time to cool off and think, Bucky took a shower upstairs in his bathroom. The longer the hot water pelted his skin, the more he felt like an asshole for what he’d said to you. He couldn’t just ask you to stay for him, that was wrong for a start. That was definitely selfish. Accusing you of thinking it was just a fling too? Christ, what was he thinking? He didn’t actually think that you thought of him as a fling, he just stupidly asked that in the heat of the moment when he was frustrated that you one hundred percent didn’t want to stay.
Maybe he ought to get out of the shower before he steamed up the whole clubhouse and make things right.
As Bucky neared the bottom of the staircase after putting on some clothes and towel-drying his hair, he bumped into Steve, who seemed to be heading towards the living room.
“Hey, Buck. We’re starting a movie soon. _____’s just finishin’ her cigarette out back; you two joining us?”
Bucky plastered on a smile, shaking his head. Perhaps he sounded selfish, but watching a movie with everyone wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to spend his last night with you. “I don’t think so, man. Another night.”
“Suit yourself.” The blond patted his friend’s shoulder before allowing him to scoot past him and head outside.
The sky was a deep blue, the sparse, grey clouds almost bleeding into the dark hue as the stars began to peek through the dusky blanket. A single garden lamp lit up the area, just about showing your figure sitting on the picnic bench that’d never been replaced since they’d moved into the clubhouse. Between your parted lips rested the remains of a cigarette, smoke twirling through the slight breeze that’d picked up once the sun went down.
You didn’t flinch as Bucky slid onto the bench next to you, and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to when the two of you had met. At that time, he was sat in your spot exhaling clouds of smoke, not knowing who you were when you first walked outside. Fast forward to now and you were exactly where he was all those weeks ago, except now he wasn’t sure what he was going to do without you.
“You mind if I take a drag of that?” He spoke up suddenly, suppressing a smile at the way you paused in your actions.
While you didn’t offer him the stick between your fingers, your loosened grip on it silently gave Bucky the permission to pluck it out of your hand into his own, which he did. After taking a long drag of the cigarette, he stubbed it out on the ashtray to his right before turning his attention to you.
“I know we aren’t a summer fling to you. I- I know how you feel about me, because I feel the same way.”
Bucky felt himself relax a little as you faced him, no longer staring off into the night. A slight frown pulled at your lips; he didn’t like the sight. “If I was going to stay for anything, or anyone, it’d be you, you know.”
Not sure what to say, the biker only gave you a nod of acknowledgment, taken aback by the statement. He wasn’t sure whether it was a compliment or something he shouldn’t be happy with.
“There’s a difference between me wanting to stay and wanting to be with you,” You bit down on your bottom lip. “I don’t wanna stay, but if you asked me... if you asked me to stay again to be with you, I probably wouldn’t get on my flight tomorrow.”
Breath hitching, Bucky narrowed his eyes. “You’d stay if I asked you to again?”
The look in your eyes was enough of an answer. If he asked you to stay, you’d say yes. Yes to waking up beside him during the colder fall mornings. Yes to motorcycle rides to anywhere and everywhere. Yes to never having to worry about how much time you have left together, because you’d stayed; you weren’t leaving Brooklyn anymore.
Saying yes to that however, would mean saying goodbye London, to travelling. Exploring different cultures, trying new food, experiencing a part of the world you never thought you could reach as a child. No more reading in motel rooms until midnight. No more tours around cities with a camera wrapped around your neck. No more living the life you’d been dreaming of since you’d barely started middle school — you weren’t ready to let go of that just yet, and Bucky didn’t have to read your mind to know that.
“I’m not gonna ask you to stay again,” He declared, prompting you to raise a brow. “I’m not gonna be a jackass and make you stay if that’s not what you wanna do.”
To his joy, your frown slowly curled into a soft smile. “I know your heart’s in the right place, Buck. That you weren’t trying to start an argument. And— and I can’t stop you from waiting for me if that’s what you wanna do. I’ll be back at some point, but I just don’t want you to put your life on hold for me, you know?”
“I wouldn’t be puttin’ it on hold. I wasn’t planning on finding someone I— I liked so much ever, really. I don’t know if it’ll happen again,”
Your heart — it was going to explode. Who knew you’d ever meet someone that had the power to make you feel so... disgustingly lovesick.
“...unless you happen to take a liking to a London boy while you’re there...?”
You chuckled, a warm sound amid the cool night. “London, Paris, Berlin... none of those boys will ever come close to the one I have in Brooklyn.”
A wide grin spread across the biker’s lips. “Who’s the sap now, huh?”
With a playful eye roll, you couldn’t help but place your hand on Bucky’s jaw, caressing it with your thumb as you leaned in and captured his lips.
He reacted immediately, putting a hand on your outer thigh to pull you closer to his side.
Wherever you were in the world, you’d always have Bucky in Brooklyn — he hoped that you didn’t doubt that.
* * *
Too many mornings spent lazing in Bucky’s bed meant that reality hadn’t yet set in after a few minutes of being awake. It was so natural at this point, to wake up and feel the warmth of him next to you, to have your legs tangled with his and to feel his nose grazing against the back of your neck.
Turning around in his arms, you leaned in and laid a kiss on his nose, smirking at the way he scrunched it in response before pinching at your bare hip. You smacked his hand away before settling your head back against the pillow, gazing at him through your lashes.
“Have I ever told you beautiful you are?” You asked without a second thought.
Heat evidently pooled in Bucky’s cheeks, and you rested a hand on the side of his face before he could roll himself over to hide his embarrassment.
“I’m serious.” You pressed.
“I know,” He grinned, voice raspy with sleep; he knew you never lied to him, you were as honest as they got. “And no, you haven’t told me.”
“Well, now I have. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
“Shut up.”
“Never.”
Bucky sighed, tracing a hand down the curve of your back. He could keep you there forever, laying so close to him and calling him beautiful. If someone would’ve told him at the start of the summer that this was where he’d be by the end of it, he would’ve laughed in their face. “Where’d that come from, huh? You’re being scarily nice.”
“I’m trying to be sentimental, jerk.”
“Oh, right,” He smirked. “Just like last night when you told me to fuck—”
You interrupted him with a finger pressed to his lips. “I think that was pretty sentimental in its own way, actually.”
“Uh-huh,” Bucky kissed your fingertip gently. He had a feeling you were being a little softer than usual since the circumstances of the day were different. You weren’t sure when your next moment like this would be, if there ever would be one. Truthfully, there was an ache in his heart that was caused by that thought too. He sighed, almost sadly. “What time’s your flight?”
“Eleven.”
“Well, I think that leaves us enough time for me to show you how beautiful I think you are...” He trailed his hand lower down your spine and followed the curve of your ass.
You smirked, glancing over your shoulder to the small clock sat on the bedside table. It was nearly nine. There was just over an hour until you had to be at the airport...
“Thirty minutes, then we have to get up. Peggy will be up and banging on the door for us otherwise.”
“More than enough time, baby.”
That was a lie, however. It wasn’t nearly enough time, because once the two of you finally pried yourselves out from underneath the sheets, it hit you that that was the last time in a long time that you’d wake up in Bucky’s bed. The last time you’d be able to have him so close to you. It made you wonder what life would’ve been like if you met him before you first left to travel. If you’d fallen for him that hard so long ago, would you even have left Brooklyn in the first place?
You both took your time getting dressed, you tossing on a tank top and some leggings from your packed suitcase while Bucky put on his signature biker attire. He smugly asked if he could keep a pair of your underwear as a memoir; you told him to go fuck himself before planting a kiss on his lips. It was amazing how quickly he could switch between acting like a dick and being a sweetheart. You’d miss that, admittedly.
Everyone was eating breakfast in the kitchen when the two of you made it downstairs, the sound of your suitcase thumping against the steps signalling your presence. It was rare that you and Bucky ever saw the morning outside of his bedroom in the clubhouse, and that was proved by the raised brows and mock gasps you recieved when you entered into the room. You rested the suitcase against the doorframe as Bucky strided towards the counter, clearly eyeing the half-full pack of cigarettes placed on there.
As he reached for them, Steve looked up from his bacon and eggs, a frown pulling at his lips. “Hey, you can’t just smoke and call it breakfast.”
“I haven’t had breakfast for months,” The brunet snorted. “Don’t think it matters that much.”
“Have some coffee at least?” Steve pushed.
Cocking his brow, Bucky glanced over to you in hope of you having his back. It wasn’t like you’d had breakfast since before summer either, but you weren’t going to let the guy smoke for breakfast. Not when everyone else had a hot meal and the scent alone was making your mouth water.
“How about we get something at the airport?” You offered, strolling over to the seat next to Peggy and sitting down.
“You’re not going the airport so soon, are you?” She asked, sipping her coffee.
“Well, my flight leaves in two hours—”
The brunette almost choked on her coffee, prompting Steve to gently pat her back as she recovered. “Two hours? Oh my— why are you sitting down? We need to go—”
“Would you calm down?” You chuckled, placing a hand on Peggy’s forearm as she started to rise from her seat. She was right, though. You were cutting it very short by still being at the clubhouse when you wanted to grab some breakfast too. You moved your gaze to Bucky. “I mean, maybe we should go now...”
While he looked reluctant to nod, Bucky did so anyway, grabbing the keys to his motorcycle from his designated hook on the the wall next to the light switch.
“Hey genius, how am I gonna put my suitcase on your bike?” You furrowed your brows, grinning as the realisation hit him.
“Uh...”
“Bucky can take you on his bike,” The blond perked up, standing next to his girlfriend. “Peg and I can take the jeep with your suitcase.”
Looking to your best friend for permission, you smiled when she gave you a sure nod. She knew how much it would mean to you if your were able to ride with Bucky one more time. “Go on, we’ll be right behind you.”
After thanking her, you grabbed your suitcase and said your goodbyes to those sitting around the table. Though you didn’t speak to them as much as you’d wished you had, you’d still miss them. You all shared the same sense of humour, having a laugh with them was easy when you spent the day with the group, even when you were all simply lazing around the clubhouse. You gave each of them a quick hug, rolling your eyes when Clint told you to ‘have a right good time in London’ with a horrible English accent.
Bucky lead you out of the house, handing you a helmet and kissing the crown of your head quickly before climbing onto the bike. He didn’t say anything as you got on behind him, enveloping his waist and comfortably setting your chin on his shoulder. With every passing moment, you could tell that he wasn’t looking forward to finally waving you off at the airport. Usually when he was getting grumpy, you’d make a stupid comment about it and it seemed to cheer him up; it didn’t feel right to do so in this instance.
So as the the bike roared to life, you turned to look at the clubhouse. The place where you’d spent the majority of your summer, where you’d met everyone, where you’d met Bucky, where you’d kissed him for the first time, done other things for the first time. It’d become another home to you in a way, like a place you’d always be welcome back to. You hoped you’d always be welcome there anyway, even after being gone for months on end once you stepped onto your flight.
It’d barely taken thirty minutes to get to JFK Airport, Peggy’s jeep only a few cars behind you as you wound through the streets of New York. Bucky noticed when you didn’t start cussing out the bad drivers that were practically skimming the side of his bike like always, your head never leaving its place against his back. It was unlike you, but he didn’t mind. Perhaps like him you were just savouring the moment, the last ride you’d have for a while. Christ, Bucky had never felt so many emotions at once. He didn’t know whether to fall to his knees and beg you not to forget him or to kiss you passionately and tell you he’d be waiting for your return. To maintain his dignity, he decided against the former option.
Almost too fast for your liking, you arrived just outside of the entrance, climbing off the motorcycle reluctantly and spying the jeep just coming to park behind you. It wouldn’t be able to stay parked there for long, and you felt an ache in your chest as you saw Peggy stepping out of her car, Steve not far behind her pulling your suitcase along.
He handed it to you with a smile which you returned as you took it from him. Setting it beside you, you let out a sad chuckle upon realising how glazed over Peggy’s eyes were.
“I’m not about to cry, before you say anything,” She stated, plastering on a grin. “It’s just allergies.”
“Allergies my ass,” You smirked, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around her neck, grinning into her shoulder as she hugged you back tightly. You spoke again, this time more quietly next to her ear. “I love you, okay? And I won’t hesitate to fly back here and beat Steve’s ass if he does anything, I swear.”
Truthfully, you didn’t think Steve was capable of hurting a fly, never mind the smartest, kindest, most gorgeous woman you knew. However, Jay-Z was capable of cheating on Beyoncé — Beyoncé, so being a little sceptical of any man you met wasn’t unreasonable, in your opinion.
“I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” She chuckled. “You just focus on looking after yourself, alright?”
“Right,” You responded. “And... you’ll keep an eye on Bucky for me, won’t you?”
It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Bucky, or that you wanted a daily report of what he was up to while you were gone. You just wanted to know that he was going to be okay. Being apart would be hard on both of you, but you’d been doing the ‘being alone’ thing for over a year now, and you had a feeling that there was more to how he felt about you leaving than he was letting on. Even when he said he wasn’t going to ask you to stay again, you still felt like he wasn’t as okay with the situation as he was acting to be.
“Of course I will, Steve too,” The brunette assured you, giving you a final squeeze before beginning to pull back. “I love you too,” She sighed, returning to her place stood next to Steve. “Right, you know where you’re going after you arrive, yes? If not, you can call me and I’ll give you directions to the motel. If you’re hungry I know there’s a takeaway place just outside of the airport—”
“Pegs, I’ll be fine. I’m going to London, not Narnia.”
“Just— just be safe, okay?”
“Can’t make any promises.”
“_____—”
“I’m kidding! How about you learn to take a joke while I’m gone, huh?”
You smiled as Peggy rolled her eyes in amusement. Perhaps she wouldn’t be as amused if she knew about what happened with Brock Rumlow at the bar. You decided you’d tell her in London when you were in a whole other continent, otherwise she might not have let you leave in fear that you’d be getting into more trouble at English bars with assholes like Brock. Even if you did, Peggy knew you weren’t soft, you could handle yourself. She just worried that you were a little too unafraid of confrontation.
Turning to Bucky and picking your suitcase back up, you have him a slight tug on his hand. “We should probably go for breakfast now, I’ll be boarding soon.”
He nodded, offering to take your suitcase and rolling his eyes when you made a comment about him being ‘such a gentlemen’. You gave the blond a quick hug, warning him to take care of Peggy and grinning as he teased you about being more like her mother than her best friend, before saying a final goodbye to the two of them, giving your friend’s hand a final squeeze and turning away to head into the airport.
There was just over an hour until you had to be on the plane, so you and Bucky decided to head into cafe near the entrance and get a proper breakfast. Two steaming black coffees sat opposite each other on the small booth in the corner you were sat at, complimenting the stacks of pancakes dripping in syrup and sugar that you’d impulsively ordered and that Bucky had insisted on paying for, saying that you should save all your cash for exploring London.
“I’ll probably come back for Christmas.” You said in repsonse to him asking how long you’d be travelling for this time, stuffing a sliced bit of pancake into your mouth.
Bucky furrowed his brows. “Really? You’re not staying away until summer again?”
You cocked your brow, looking at him in the corner of your eye. “Why, do you want me to?”
“Course not,” He smirked, reaching out to swipe a drop of syrup from your lip with his thumb. “I hope that means you’re getting me a Christmas present then.”
A chuckle left your lips. “My return will be your Christmas present, how about that?”
The biker scoffed. “Okay... getting to kiss me when you get back will be your present then.”
“Eh... can’t you think of something better?”
He glared at you playfully, though you felt a little bad making the joke. You knew from the argument the night before that he wasn’t still one hundred percent okay with you leaving. Comfortingly, you placed a hand above his knee over his dark jeans.
“In all seriousness, though— I shouldn’t have told you not to wait for me to come back. If that’s what you really want, I can’t stop you from waiting for me. In fact, just seeing you again will be the best thing I’ll get on Christmas; I know it. Well, unless someone gets me some rollerblades. I always wanted them as a kid but my mom refused since I have issues with ‘being careful’—”
Bucky’s laugh cut you off, rolling his eyes at your attempt at covering up your sappy words with sarcasm. He could definitely understand why you never got rollerskates, however — you did have a tendency to be a little reckless. God knows what you were like as a kid.
“I’d have to agree with her on that one,” He smiled, sipping his coffee. “You have been punched in the face more times than the average person. You never told me about the other time you got punched, actually.”
A chuckle fell from your lips. “You remember me mentioning that?”
“Uh-huh.”
You sighed melodramatically. “I guess we have some time to kill — fine. So I was, surprise-surprise, in some random bar in Chicago...”
The hour you had left before your flight finished soon after you’d told Bucky enough stories from your travels to last him in your absence, and before you knew it, you’d reached the flight terminal.
There was an invisible force tugging at your heartstrings. While you were bubbling with excitement to get on your flight, to explore a whole new place outside of what you’ve always known, you hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be to leave what you did know behind. The thought of depending on somebody else, allowing yourself to let their feelings come into play with your decisions, had practically disgusted you only a few months ago. But with Bucky, it only felt wrong to cast his feelings aside.
The biker noticed the change in your demeanour as you neared the terminal, and a smile crept onto his lips. “C’mon, _____ — don’t tell me you’re gonna pussy out on leaving now.”
“Shut up,” You scoffed, elbowing his ribs. “I’m just... thinking.”
“About what?”
It took you a moment to come up with an answer. “About how everything has changed, and how everything is going to keep changing.”
You turned to look at Bucky, whose brows were furrowed. The corners of your lips upturned. “Bucky, nothing in my life is consistent. I’ve always liked travelling because where I am changes all the time, and I never feel stuck anywhere; I always feel free. And with you, I don’t feel stuck either. I want you to be a constant in my life, no matter where I am in the world or whatever else changes in it. I always wanted to get out of Brooklyn ‘cause it never felt like where I was supposed to be forever, but now I know that you’re here... well, maybe Brooklyn is where I’m supposed to end up...”
“...and I swear to God if you call me a sap for that—”
To your delight, you’re not teased for the most heartfelt thing you’d ever said to him, or anyone for that matter, but cut off with a intense kiss. Savouring the feeling, you placed a hand on the back of Bucky’s neck, letting yourself melt into him for one last time that summer. You’d found that Bucky wasn’t necessarily vocal in expressing his feelings, but that didn’t matter. The way he kissed you said more than a thousand words ever could.
After reluctantly pulling away from the kiss, Bucky didn’t let you go just yet. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you to his chest, an affectionate action that he didn’t necessarily do so often. Nevertheless, you leaned into him and let your arms encircle his waist, your cheek resting comfortably against his shoulder. This wasn’t the last time you’d be so close to him, you had to keep reminding yourself of that. But you’d never felt so hesitant to leave someone behind since you’d left Peggy the first time you left New York. You found your way back to her, though, and you were sure you’d do the same with Bucky.
“On second thought, I’d be fine if you pussied out of leaving now...” He spoke into your ear, making you chuckle against his chest.
“I’m no wuss, Bucky Barnes,” You moved back from his embrace, patting his jacket. “You’ll see me again soon, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”
The feminine voice over the intercom informing you that your direct flight to London was departing soon cut your final moments with Bucky short, enabling the both of you to let out a disheartened sigh.
You leaned forward once more, pressing a soft but fleeting kiss to his lips, before giving his hand a squeeze. “Stay out of trouble, will you? At least until I get back?”
“I think I should be the one tellin’ you that,” Bucky laughed, his eyes taking in the curve of your nose and your cheekbones, the colour of your eyes and the softness of your lips; the features he’d had the luxury of waking up to every day for the past two months. Not that he could ever forget how beautiful you are, but he’d be a fool not to take advantage of looking at you properly in the flesh for the last time for a while. “Running away from a fight isn’t a bad thing, you know.”
“Practise what you preach, pal — does that mean you won’t be socking Brock Rumlow in the face next time you run into him?”
“...touché.”
A grin graced your lips as you clasped your fingers around the handle of your suitcase. “Mhm, that’s what I thought. Now, I’ve gotta get going. There might be a fight waiting for me on the plane already — a forty-five year old lady named ‘Karen’ that’s upset she didn’t get the window seat, perhaps?”
“Well, I can’t keep you waiting, can I?” Bucky stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, watching as you began to walk in the opposite direction to him, the opposite direction to the summer you’d forever hold dear to your heart.
The smile on your face widened, your last words to him falling from your lips before you turned around and headed towards the next part of your journey, which would eventually, hopefully, lead you back to him in the end.
“I’ll see you when I’m back home.”
Home. Where you belonged. Where you’d circle back to when you’d travelled across the world and back. With him, in Brooklyn.
“See you when you’re back home, baby.”
There was a time when you didn’t believe in love. When you thought that those who did were only fooling themselves, and when you once told your best friend that you’d never fall in love. Maybe you’d proved yourself wrong with Bucky.
The reason you’d always told yourself that love wasn’t real was because you never knew what it was, how it felt. However, if it felt like gliding through a sunlit sky with all the time in the world to spare, with all the space around you to explore; if it felt like finding home in more than just four walls and a roof, but in two bright blue eyes and a soul just as carefree as yours (...and a worn out leather jacket...), then maybe you had fallen in love with Bucky.
Perhaps when you returned home, you’d let him know.
-
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danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)
-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/
-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules
-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.
-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO
-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3
-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.
-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.
-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x
-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son
-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.
-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised
-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?
-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.
-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.
-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!
-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???
-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)
-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!
-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.
-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?
-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.
-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)
-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh
-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.
-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3
-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.
-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.
-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao
-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.
-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.
-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)
-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...
-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)
-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously
-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.
-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤
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What about some fluffy dating headcanons of Alastor, Angel and Sir Pentious? Cute things they like to do with their S/O’s, who makes the first move and kisses each other, maybe how would them react if their S/O’s want to have intimate relationships or maybe kids(?? Idk If you’re comfortable with nsfw or not :)) btw sorry for my grammar mistakes
Can do! I hope it's up to standards! Dont worry about spelling btw, I'm just as bad :) Also I do NSFW for anyone wondering, and yes it's kinda in here. Also, Alastor is asexual in my opinion, although I know others may not think so, so I wrote some nsfw for him. Anyway Enjoy!
Alastor:
• His S/o has to make the first few moves. (Handholding, hugs, and eskimo kisses/ butterfly kisses/ cheek kisses)
• After that he'll initiate everything else. (Hand kisses, kisses, make out sessions, etc.)
• Most of the time, he's the first one to kiss you. Sometimes you do surprise him by kissing him first.
• He really likes to kiss the back of your hand. He'll do it whenever he sees you (even if he's in public).
• He also likes when you hold onto his arm, he feels really proud.
• He does cute couple things with you a lot. But it's always behind closed doors.
• He's set Saturday nights to the side all for you. It's usually for going on a date, but if you're not up to it that day he's all for staying home and watching tv or cuddling (or both).
• He'll try to make you breakfast in the morning so you can have it in bed. (Praise him for it, he loves it when you praise him [and his cooking])
• If anyone new comes into the hotel, he'll immediately show you off as his.
• He doesn't need these hopeless sinners hitting on you. You. Are. HIS.
• That being said, you can mingle with them, so long as they keep their filthy hands and thoughts to themselves. (In his mind everyone likes you, fyi.)
• In my opinion, Alastor is asexual and wouldn't have an intimate relationship with you. He'll make out with you, sure. But that's as far as he's wants to go or will let you go.
• In this situation he'd be a bit uncomfortable, and he'd try to explain it to you if you didn't know. He'd probably apologize for not telling you sooner as well.
• Although if you don't think so, I want you to know, Alastor will NOT make the first move.
• No, no, no, no.
• He made some of the other first moves sure, but NOT this one.
• He doesn't want to take things too fast, he doesn't want to make you afraid. He just wants it to be special, and for you to feel special.
• He'll wait for you to take it farther until he does, and even then he'll ask just to be sure.
• Once he's absolutely sure he'll get super excited, like a kid in a candy shop. He'll be all smiles (the sweet smiles btw).
• Alastor is the type to really enjoy foreplay. He'll definitely be giving it more than recieving it.
• Let me tell you, he could do a lot with his tongue and hands.
• It doesn't matter if you're a male or a female. He'll still be able to make you scream and beg for more.
• His more into it for your pleasure, rather than his.
• Although seeing you whimpering and begging for him, is his pleasure so it's not like he's not getting anything out of it.
• If a fun night leads to you being pregnant, (or if you talk to him about kids) he kinda... panics?
• He's not meant to be a father. That's why he's in hell.
• He's 100% sure this baby is going to be fuck up. Mentally and emotionally speaking.
• He'll make sure to be calm around you but all hell is breaking loose on the inside.
• Basically always having a mental breakdown over this.
• Although once his child is born, he calms right the fuck down.
• She's just so cute, how could she do or be anything bad? She was a little angel.
• Instantly regrets those words once she gets older.
• His daughter would be the one to make mischief. Most of the time it's harmless, but it's still a problem.
• Although he'd love her, and honestly? That's him so he can't really yell at her.
• She'd have him wrapped around her little finger.
• "Daddy can I have juice?"
• "What did Mother/Father say?" *already pulling the juice out from the fridge*
• "She/He/They said no, but I knew you'd give it to me! So I came to ask!"
• "You know I can't go behind her/his/their back." *about to put it back*
• "Its okay! I won't tell! It can be a Daddy-Daughter secret!" *grins sweetly with a finger to her lips*
• Any thought of putting it back flew out the window as he handed it to her with a pat of her head.
• He's really soft and caves for his child easily, but if it was serious -like going out with a few friends he doesn't like- he'll be able to say no quite easily.
Angel Dust:
• This boy is glued to your hip and he really tries to do cute couple things.
• He'll give you random sweets, and set up random dates in the hotel.
• They're so random you literally cant figure out when he's going to do these things. No matter how hard you try.
• Although usually when he flirts with you he'll give you a piece of candy. Idk why, he just does.
• We all know how Angel is, so we all know he's always one to make the first move!
• If you feel uncomfortable about whatever move he pulled, let him know and he either won't do it again or wait a little longer, depending on what you say and how you react.
• Although you can never really kiss him first because he's always doing it.
• You wake up and can barely register anything? He's already giving you a kiss of some kind. The moment's romantic and you turn to kiss him? Welp he's already holding your hand, kissing it and then leans over to kiss your cheek.
• Trust me, you have never started anything because he doesn't give you a chance too lol.
• He likes when you hang out with just him. It makes him feel special and like you only need him.
• So many of your dates and couple hangouts are just you and him with no one else around
• If anyone interrupts, oh boy.
• RIP them, you have to start planning a funeral.
• And if anyone hits on you? It's the end of the god damn world. He'll act all big and tough and he'll fuck them up too, but he's pouting about it for a week+
• He'll also double his clinginess and affection so be prepared.
• One day, if you give hints that you're in the mood he'll be ecstatic!
• S/o wants to fuck. With me? Hell fucking yes!
• Unlike Al he's not much into foreplay, so he'll probably keep it short and just get straight to the point.
• It's not that he doesn't like it, he just think there's no need for it.
• You'll feel plenty of pleasure when he's pounding into you. Besides it's more fun and fast paced! Foreplay is just too slow for him.
• He'll also go for more than one round.
• If you end up pregnant, or talking about kids, he's all for it! Full send!
• Immediately regrets it the second he's up all night with the little boy he created.
• Dont get me wrong, he LOVES his boy, but god damn he was not ready.
• Once his child is older and a bit more independent he's -I wouldn't say happier- but less stressed out.
• He tries to keep his son from knowing he was a porn star. Hopefully he'll be one of those teenage boys that dont look up porn or he'll be scared for life.
Sir Pentious:
• Sir Pentious is a gentle men! He'll do plenty of cute couple things and he'll show you off to the public!
• If you're crying or upset he'll put his hat on your head to try and cheer you up.
• He'll hold your hand or give you a hug any moment he can.
• He's usually the one to initiate anything. He'll kiss you first, hold your hand first, and all that.
• But after that, you usually start everything, unless it's a hug or hand holding.
• Sir Pentious is quite the jealous man so try to keep talking with men on the down low.
• He's not going to stop you, but it makes he feel uncomfortable when you'd 'prefer' being with them instead of him.
• He's kinda intimidated by sex so he wouldn't start it.
• He'd definitely wait for you to show signs and even then he's still a nervous wreck.
• Although he manages to rise above and give you a good time regardless of his nerves.
• He'd do a bit of foreplay and a bit of sex. Sometimes it'll be more foreplay, other times it'll be more sex. It honestly depends.
• And if it happens to get you pregnant, or you speak of kids he'll say "aren't the eggs enough for you?"
• But obviously not. So, mostly to make you happy, you guys have a child!
• He actually likes this one though lmao.
• He'll look more like you but act more like Pentious. He's a gentle man and style is everything in his eyes.
• He's always quite the little genius. Always making something (even if it's matching macaroni necklaces for you and Pentious).
• Pentious is really good with him, bc honestly he's dealt with the eggs forever and it's no different to him.
#hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#angel dust x reader#sir pentious x reader#alastor#angel dust#sir pentious
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Rowena for the meme
Why I like them: how could I not??? She’s a great character, AND an absolutely enchanting woman. I could write (very bad, based on previous experience) poetry about her xDD. She’s gorgeous! And witchy! And dramatic! She hits my “older woman of dubious morality” soft spot AND has about everything else going for her lmao.
Why I don’t: I suddenly can’t read.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): I still have a few left with her (far less than I’d like! I know she has a fake marriage with Sam in one though xD), but as of now it’s probably 13x12, where she tricks Sam and Dean (they never find out she’s the one who hired the two witches that rob the book from them lol), comes in to save the day~~, has a few bonding moments with Sam regarding their Lucifer Trauma TM -which leads to Sam sneakily letting her get away with the page she was looking for lol... Another great one is where she encourages her sweet grandson (who she liked!) to return to the past knowing he’d die there, to get revenge against Crowley for forcing her to kill the one person she’d truly loved (another child she’d actually loved like a son). This family istg xDDD. 13x19, where she sets out to defy Death and force her to bring Crowley back to life is another contender (theirs is a complicated mother-son bond lmfao).
Favorite season/movie: it’s hard to say because I’ve enjoyed all four so far (well, in terms of Rowena’s storyline at least. I have Opinions on s12 and s13 lol). But I have to say Rowena is about the first character I’ve fully enjoyed (so far) seeing joining the team after being in more antagonistic role, simply because it’s fun xD, and in that sense she was a breath of fresh air in s13.
Favorite line: oh man. She has so many. One thing I’ll say for these writers is that they took advantage of having a theatre trained actress and gave her GREAT monologues lmao. See all these lovely things she tells to Crowley lmfao:
“This demon asks you to equalize credit for his and another's work. Split the baby if you will. Well, then I would well and truly split the baby. I'd cut this pulling, pathetic, grade-grubbing git in two, literally. Then I'd nail his bloody halves to the doors of the court. A reminder to all not to waste the King's time! Whiners beget whiners. You can't reward behavior like that. Why, I never gave in when you asked for sweeties as a child no matter how much you cried. Well, you were a very chunky child, darling. A bit of a bloater.”
“You can't understand my disappointment or my pride. You don't know this but after I left you, after I was forced to leave you, I heard of your death. Your mortal death. I thought you were gone to me forever. Then, hundreds of years later and thousands of miles away, I find you: the King of Hell. And not by luck or accident, you made that happen all by yourself. You're not a mother. You can't know what that pride felt like. How huge it was. But can you try to imagine, for me? Now do you understand why it breaks my heart to see what a colossal numb nut you've become? You've got the crown but you're no ruler, not really. A sad, bored wee boy on the throne who'll flop ass up the second those Winchesters, hunters who'd as soon see you dead as have you to tea, ask you to. You're no king. Not any more. You're their bitch!”
“I hate you because, when I look into your eyes, I see the woman I used to be, before magic, before the coven, when I was nothing but Rowena, the tanner's daughter. A pale, scared little girl who smelled of filth and death. I hate you because, when you were born, your father said he loved me. Then he went back to his grand wife and his grand house, whilst I lay pathetic and half-dead on a straw mat - my thighs slick with blood. I hate you, because if I didn't, I'd love you. But love... love is weakness. And I'll never be weak again.”
Then there’s of course “You say that like it’s an insult. Nice girls, they’re pathetic. Here’s to evil skanks.” (to Dean, after he calls her an evil skank). And the iconique “I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A CAREER WOMAN!!” (to Crowley, after he reproaches her abandonment of him as a child).
Favorite outfit: THIS IS THE MOST UNFAIR QUESTION I’VE EVER ASKED. Seriously, I literally spend all of her scenes making heart eyes at her looks, choosing is too difficult xD
This purple dress.
this blue one (just what you casually wear to break into a creepy house with your new frenemy Sam Winchester)
This purple dressing gown
This backless red dress
Everything she’s worn has been perfect for her, but I have a weakness for the long dresses.
OTP: Sam/Rowena is a great ship. Although if I’m honests, my favourite relationship of hers altogether is with Crowley. I love a good Bad Mom TM dynamic xDD
Brotp: see above. And I’ve enjoyed her (too few) moments with Castiel and Jack. Also Chuck lol.
Head Canon: I choose to believe she and Bela have crossed paths. Because.
Unpopular opinion: idek. Okay, I have one. You know how fandom obsesses over characters that SUPPOSEDLY have a hard exterior but are secretly softies, and that do terrible things to cover that and protect themselves (I’m looking at you Dean stans lol)? Rowena is the actual real deal here. Accept no substitutes xD
A wish: well, it would’ve been NICE if she hadn’t been so unceremoneously removed from the narrative in s15 (I mean, still a better ending than I would’ve hoped given the show’s track record, but I would’ve preferred to have her in the show moving the plot and all). At least it’s one of those endings with possibility~, so fics will be coming xD
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: the show is done and it could’ve been worse lmao. Dead with no possibility of return/no reigning position in Hell, for one.
5 words to best describe them: powerful, creative, meddling, striking, gracious.
My nickname for them: well, I keep calling her my ideal woman lmao.
#missbrunettebarbie#replies#talking to the void#my thoughts#spn thoughts#supernatural#rowena macleod#this got long but you can't ask me about rowena's lines/looks and NOT expect me to ramble sns xD
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The Birth House - Ami McKay
[ im only a new reader, so im still working on the reading daily thing ]
time it took me - 2-3 days (i was really into it lol)
published - 2006
pages - 368
TW for book: physical abuse, sexual abuse, sex scenes, sexism, violence, teen pregnancy + birth
chapters - 47 + epilogue, and there are notes from the Willow Book at the end (i actually typed the whole thing up lmao ( x ) )
genre - historical / realistic fiction
5/5 stars (but my standards are really fucking low, so don’t trust me)
honest opinion - I loved it. It was a great book for me. I loved the MC (stands for Main Character), and it was just a great book all around. I can't put my opinion into words, but I'd highly recommend it, but if you've faced sexual abuse and/or teen pregnancy I might pass it up, as it may be triggering.
basic summary (no major spoilers) (im writing this 3-4 months after reading the book, so sorry if a bit inaccurate) -
Takes place in 1910s-1920s (WWI), Nova Scotia. Basically Dora Rare (first daughter in 5 generations of Rares), is drawn to Miss Babineau, a midwife and eventually after a few years becomes a midwife herself. But soon Dr. Gilbert Thomas, comes by and brings promises of quick, painless birth, and now many people start to question Babineau’s methods. Miss B disappears, and now Dora has to fight for her traditions.
in depth ‘summary’ (spoilers. and a whole lot of them) !!CW!! physical abuse, sexual abuse(?), few sex scenes -
Alrightie, buckle up.
“On the evening of a full moon in June, Silent went out in his canoe to catch the shad that were spawning around the tip of Cape Split. As the night wore on, Annie began to worry that some ill had befallen her love. . . . She walked to the cove where they had first met and began to call to him, promising her heart, her fidelity and a thousand loves to his name. The moon, seeing Annie’s sadness, began to sing, forcing the waves inland, strong and fast, bringing Silent safely back to his lover. Since that time, every child born from the Rare name has been male, and even now, when the moon is full, you can hear her voice, the voice of the moon, singing sailors home.” < why all Rare children have been men (for past 5 gen) >
Dora Rare is the only daughter in 5 generations of Rares. When Dora is first mentioned, she is 17 years old, and has 6 older brothers. Marie Babineau drags Dora to Mrs. Experience Ketch’s 13th kid, which would be a very prominent memory. Anyway if she didn’t give birth to this child today, she’d die. So she did, but she did not want her child. She pushed him away. So he died. Mr. Ketch is not deserving to be called a father, but here we are. Being the 1910s, he was a sexist wanker. “’I don’t trust nothin’ that can’t piss standin’ up.”’ like bitch who the fuck do you think you are??
Mrs. Ketch is a victim of serious domestic abuse, if the amount of children didn’t tell you otherwise (women can choose to have this many children, but... holy fuck.)
Archer, someone who Dora is sorta fond of (its been a while, dont remember her feelings), didn’t wish to fight in the war, but Grace and Precious really didn’t fucking like that. “’If I could, I’d march through Europe myself, killing Huns right and left, gutting them with a bayonet and crushing their skulls with the heel of my boot. But I can’t, and neither can any other woman who might wish for victory over evil... and neither can these boys who are too young to serve their king.’ She glared at Archer. ’But you can’” Mate. Take notes from Mulan. Masquerade as a man and beat them all. Fucking coward.
After Archer drags Dora to an empty room, Dora starts to become a horny fuck, and he begins undressing her, she mentions that that was her first kiss, and this Archer hoe backs off, and leaves.
Dr. Thomas comes bearing promises of quick and painless births. He makes Miss B and Dora seem like they’re using wooden tools and sawing a woman in half to get her baby out and taping her back together. Like stfu.
Well, a chapter or 2 later, Dora learns that she is marrying Archer, and she can’t refuse it.
A couple pages later, on the start of chapter 18, B orders Dora to get her 2 long-handled spoons and to grease them up with tallow, to get a teacup cover out from Grace Hutner’s sweet spot, cause she’s a horndog.
On the day before their wedding night, Archer wants Dora to give him a bj. A motherfucking blowjob. As a thanks for the permission to marry him.
“Come on, Dorrie. Just get on your knees. It won’t take long, no one needs to know. Now open up that mouth and take me in.” im not even going to say anything.
Anyway, the day before Dora has to marry Archer Bigelow, Miss B dies. :(
Archer wants Dora to give up the midwifery stuff (i think its sorta cool tbh, but k mate). This horny fuck wants sex every damn night. The book mentions the ‘supposed to hurt the first time’ and ‘breaking a woman in’ and just to let you know, the book talks like this bc it’s set in the 1910s-1920s, but irl, it doesn’t have to hurt the first time, i don’t think (but i havent fucked yet, and i dont plan to so idk), and breaking a woman in makes it sound like an object of some sort.
On page 174, Archer attempts to punch her, but he misses and makes a hole in the wall.
Dora gives in to sex when she doesn’t want to, and bc of her ‘obligations as a wife’ he treats her more like a sex toy than a human being. (not every guy is a piece of shit in this book, just most of them)
She heads to Dr. Thomas through a friend or her familys advice, and is diagnosed with hysteria, which is probably just ignored horniness, or a high libido or smth, the Doc basically uses a vibrator thing on her and the book states it’s better than what she’s felt in the arms of her husband.
(im wrapping this up cause my fingers are cold)
Influenza starts to pop up, and after Dora is outcasted for her practices, she goes to one of her older brothers.
Brady Ketch, husband of Experience Ketch, dumps his beat up and bruised pregnant 13-year old daughter on Dora’s doorstep, she dies, but delivers a perfectly healthy baby that Dora adopts as her own, and names Winnie/Wennie or whatever the fuck her name was.
After she comes back, she turns back to midwifery, and bars Dr. Thomas with a pitchfork after he attempts to interrupt a delivery (not Ketch’s daughter, as she died in childbirth) (obvi)
Archer dies out in sea, after Dora didn’t give him a thing known for protecting sailors from drowning and to bring them home safe and sound. But Archer has a brother, Hart, and claimed that he always had feelings for her, and he was disgusted at how he treated her. Dora doesn’t marry him, but stays as his lover. Also, the epilogue is about electricity coming to Scots Bay.
#The Birth House#Ami McKay#McKay#book#review#recommendation#rec#books#genre#historical fiction#fiction#realistic#realistic fiction#medical fiction#summary#book summary#book summaries
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Been feeling under the weather all day so I finally started SWSH and put a couple hours into it here are some of my initial thoughts:
Chairman Rose: Welcome to the world of Pokemon! Me: Oh you’re definitely the bad guy. I’m definitely gonna have to kick your butt at some point I just know it
Ok first of all I just want to say I frickin love the poses I can do for my trainer card and the SECOND I saw this one I actually shouted “YES” out loud. Everyone, meet ya girl Orion. (I’ve since updated my shirt and tweaked a few things but I forgot to take a picture of that).
I love all the starters, but Soccer Is My Life so Scorbunny won me over (Grookey was a close second though)
I’m weak to bunny fistbumps.....
Hop is a sweetheart and I already know by the end of this game I'm gonna be crying...Hop you're trying so hard to be the best like your bro but I've been playing this game since before you were born, YOU HAVE NO CHANCE....
Hop's mom and my character's moms as soon as Hop and I are gone: FINALLY let's go have ladies night *high-fives*
Leon: *appears with his stupid ad-riddled cape and white booty shorts over white pants look* Me: gosh I can't believe how much smut I've seen of this dude on twitter Me after playing the game for 15 minutes: Oh he’s a handsome idiot, that’s why.
I booked it to the first clothing store I saw to change outfits, why you killing me with expensive fashion stuff SWSH???? Let me be a cheapskate in this game I’m begging you I DON’T WANNA PAY $20 FOR A SHIRT IRL OR IN A VIDEO GAME
It was actually super cool seeing all the gym leaders walk out an get introduced but for a moment I was like “Oh shoot am I gonna fight them all here??? Right now??? I mean I totally could but that sucks that I don’t get to go to different cities / gyms” and then the celebration ended and I was like “Oh ok then” lmao.
Which also begs the question: did all the gym leaders (minus one) just come on out specifically to walk across the stage and show off? Man no wonder Goth Gym Leader dude stayed home, I would’ve too
I forgot fighting gal wasn’t in this game.... :( I’m sorry fighting girl you were really cute but unfortunately the Galar Unicorn was also cute and I need me one of those
The only reason I know this dude’s name is because everyone ships him with Leon. His sly smile is really cool and I instantly liked him because he seems like he’ll be a fun character (also I have a dragon trainer bias) but then he whipped out his Rotom phone and took a selfie and that cracked me right up
Marnie was so much sweeter than I thought she'd be omg???? I'd die for you sweet goth girl
Bede (or as I like to call him, the Pink British Bastard): OHOHO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUGH ENOUGH TO DEFEAT ME? Me, oneshotting every single one of his Pokemon: yeah dude
Man I can tell I’ve been playing too much BOTW because my first reaction at seeing the wild area was “Wow that’s kinda small”
I did discover the other half of it later though so I’m somewhat mollified. I love the concept of it though! The only downside is if I see 10 of the same Pokemon in a bunch of grass I’m a little less-inclined to explore that section.
I wasn’t too impressed with the Dynamaxing thing when I first saw the ads for it but it seems fine (I still prefer the Mega-Evos though). I encountered one of the “Special” Raids while nyrooming around the Wild Area too so that was fun.
I'm always worried about under-leveling so I wound up dinking around in the wild area WAYYYY too long and over-leveled my starter and every other pokemon I had lmao
Speaking of, here's my current team layout:
I swapped out my Yamper a bit ago because I found a yellow glowy one and I already feel super bad.....Yamper I love you but GOOD STATS....
I genuinely feel HORRIBLE about switching her out for this new dude I'M SORRY COMPETITIVE POKEMON BREEDING IN XY HAS RUINED ME FOR POKEMON I'LL TRY NOT TO DO THIS TOO MUCH
Me seeing a tympole: Juliana!!! :D The same tympole: *zooms towards me at terrifying speeds* Me: JULIANA NO
I keep stopping Scorbunny (King Kazuma) from evolving because I DONT WANT MY BABY TO GO THROUGH HIS GRUMPY TEEN PHASE YET HES SO CUTE
The curry minigame things are so much fun please let me cook more in video games I love it...
I think my biggest complaint so far is I wish soft-resetting was faster. I love all the “we’ll heal your Pokemon!” folks and the wandering Pokemon, that’s cool (and the little details like the Key Item Escape Rope and the reminders on the map of where I’m supposed to be going at the moment) and the instant access to the PC box.
UH OK ONE MORE THING: I JUST RAN INTO AN EEVEE AND UHHHH THAT”S NOT WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE LITTLE BUDDY, DO YOU NEED TO SEE A VET?
Man that’s a bummer, I actually loved Eevee’s old cry. I’m assuming this was a switch after Let’s Go Eevee / Pikachu.
Wild Budew: *uses Worry Seed on my Yamper The Game: Yamper acquired Insomnia! Me, laughing hollowly: Me too
It’s gotten to the point where my Pokemon are so over-leveled I’m legit worried they’ll stop listening to me THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE...WHY DID I DINK AROUND IN THE WILD AREA FOR SO LONG...I’m actively avoiding trainers / pokemon battles trying to get to this dang gym
Milo: Can’t wait to see you at the stadium! :) Me, with my severely over-leveled team and OP fire-type starter Pokemon: Haha yeah....me too
Me: FINALLY the Gym is in sight! Hop: Actually you need to go somewhere else first! Me, shaking him by his shoulders: HOP YOU DON”T UNDERSTAND, I HAVE SIX MINOR-GODS ON MY TEAM I NEED A BADGE TO CONTROL THEM
“All companies running ads are owned by Mr. Rose” oh yeah he’s definitely a bad guy
Aw the little Grass-gym mission is cute, that’s a kinda fun new addition to the gym battles haha.
WHY are the NPC trainer dudes at the Grass gym so CUTE
Aw Milo is cute
“You can now catch Pokemon up to level 25!” ONLY 25??? You’re killing me SWSH
I like that the badges are all pieces of a puzzle! Neat little detail.
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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!
Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!
PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;
FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it.
Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now! [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]
STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore. even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye. i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )
TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c
A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???
A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!
GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf
WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.
SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way.
ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all.
A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER. F L Y P A P E R. FLYPAPER. FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street. roast me.
FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.
YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.
TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani. I am but a simple opossum.
PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.
FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’) It’s the most grounding smell in the world.
CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I—— I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots
IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!! take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.
INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.
DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.
IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh
DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies
DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.
FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT… the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.
FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)
… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //
#||: && the mundane ( ooc );#( get to know a bitch!! )#( this was... a lot of me rambling about weirdly personal shit at 2 am )
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( alex wolff, male ) did you hear how LUKAS TOZER is applying to columbia university as a FILM & MEDIA STUDIES major ?! the 19 year old is living in the WALLACH HALL. i heard that they got in because they are + PASSIONATE and +THOUGHTFUL, but honestly i think HE can be -ASSUMING and -CYNICAL. they’re a real MAVERICK. oh well, only time will tell if the SOPHOMORE will make it til the end.
about the mun !!
hi hello my name is sam (she/her), im 22, and im a big fat mess at all times :) um but a lil more about me is that i’m australian and a recently graduated film student lmao. i’ve been rping for like ten years now i think idk but i am a NERVOUS BITCH !!!!!!! and it sometimes takes me forever to reply to things (ic and ooc) bc of that so pls be patient with me lmao. anyway, happy 2 be here !! if u like this post i’m gonna assume u wanna plot with me and my idiot and hit u up !!! lets mcfreakin lose it !!!!
about lukas !!
full name: lukas joshua tozer
nickname(s): luk-ass idk whatever u can come up with lmao
age: nineteen
gender: cis male
pronouns: he/him
hometown: jackson, new jersey
date of birth: nov 4th
occupation: student ( film and media studies, sophomore ), cook/server at a nearby 24hr pizza joint
relationship status: single
drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes
faceclaim: alex wolff
positive traits: passionate, thoughtful, creative, ambitious, untethered, humorous
negative traits: assuming, cynical, insensitive, rebellious, resentful, irresponsible
if he was in a hogwarts house: slytherin
now some more dot points that are just me talking about lukas !!
was born in fort lauderdale florida but there is a vERY low chance he will ever admit that, he’ll just say he’s from new jersey. as far as he’s concerned, he’s always been from new jersey even if his family did move there after he turned twelve
speaking of things lukas probably wont ever tell u but i’m including them anyway: his family is kind of messy. not majorly but like a little bit more than average. he had two brothers, now he only has one. i’m not gonna include a whole lot of nitty gritty here i’ll save it for when i write the real bio and can actually do it justice but its the reason they moved from florida and it has had a pretty major effect on lukas over time obviously
he’s the baby of the family and he’s pretty much always been treated like one. it has left him pretty immature and irresponsible. still learning that his actions have consequences and that he cant just be a total dick all the time. he’s improved in those areas a fair bit since he started at columbia a year ago but he still has a long way to go
he didn’t ever really expect to go to columbia, he’s from a middle class family and his dad didn’t even go to college. he applied for columbia just as a might as well give it a go thing. like maybe it will happen. they had a film course and although the course itself isn’t really great, the connections to the industry available at columbia were valuable enough for him to try. he was wait listed up until basically the last minute, preparing to go to a college in boston instead but when he was accepted he knew he had to go. for himself, for his family, and for his lost brother.
obviously irresponsible attitude has led to some Bad Decision Making including but not limited to partying and drugs. he doesn’t prioritise that lifestyle over his school work (bc he knows how lucky he is to be at columbia at all) but he is a big believer that you need to experience things to be a great artist and he plans on being the greatest artist so bad decision town here we come !!!!
he has a pet goldfish named michael bublé pls dont nark
for more info on him click here to check his about page, no bio there yet but hopefully soon
wanted connections babey !!
course friends/rivals/anything: i am writing these before acceptances happen so i have no good god damn idea if any other characters are film majors but hit me the hell up if they are bc i would love to plot some stuff out
old roommate(s) : lukas was probably an entertaining roommate but probably verged on annoying pretty easily. he’s messy, gross, probably didn’t respect the do ur fucking dishes rule in first year ( probs still doesnt tbh ). but he also has a password to every streaming account plus a phat hard drive full of movies and shows that he is absolutely willing to share with u so just depends what ur into i guess. maybe this connection led to friendship or maybe they hate each other now. im down for either/both
dealer: hi welcome back to bad decision town. lukas isn’t into any hard stuff but is a big weed smoker (to my understanding medicinal cannabis is allowed but lukas def doesn’t have a prescription), then after that it’s kind of just experimenting. will chat more details if u wanna take this connection
booze leachers: so yes lukas is 19 but he has four, thats right, four fake ids. he is not willing to give u his contact for fake ids but he is willing to buy u booze if u pay him. dont hate the player hate the game
gang gang: pretty much just a close group of friends. i imagine all pretty relaxed, all pretty chill. idk what to say here except i want people to care about him and let him put on dumb movies and watch them with him and probably have dumb matching stick and poke tattoos and hog a communal tv to play mario kart but lets talk about it
fast food workers deserve respect too: as mentioned, lukas works at a 24hr pizza joint near campus which means he’s seen some shit. one of the things he’s seen multiple times is drunk student trashing the place. whether it be vomit, forgetting how to hold a cup, or bet try at a food fight lukas has seen it and he’s cleaned it up too. this connection could be that maybe he helped someone out and cleaned them up and got them back to campus when their friends ditched and now they look out for lukas too and its a positive connection. or maybe lukas hates their guts and spits on their food whenever they show up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who’s to say
hot girl bummer by blackbear: now listen here’s an angsty connection i want, and i def want to plot it out way more with whoever takes it on but basic outline of what i have in mind: they’ve kind of sort of been dating for a while but they’re just falling out of whatever they had to begin with. they were never official, they probs def fucked around with other people while they were ““““together”””””, lots of oh sorry ur taking it so seriously i thought we were just chilling bullshit. all of this girls friends probs hate lukas and he definitely hates them back. were probably once really good friends and had a really good time together but they’ve lost it. will they find it again or will it fizzle out? lets find out together xoxo
new girl(s) : i hate the connection title too but i couldnt think of anything better. we’re in bad decision town and now we’re going to thot street babey. since things have been falling apart with hot girl bummer and even before that lukas a little bit of a thottie. this doesnt mean he’s good at it, please also feel free for a part of this to be that they rejected lukas and he got butt hurt about it idk lukas being attracted to them is basically this whole idea and i would wanna plot the rest of it more depending on specific characters wooo
lukas is a bad influence: if u have gotten this far u may have noticed that lukas is not a very good influence at all. this is someone probs his age or younger that wants to loosen up and have a good time and lukas completely encourages that. bonus points if this connection is a combo with the above connection bc lukas is a gross boi and would be like wow listening to my bad ideas thats so sexy and cool of u ya know. but also doesnt have to be that ! could just be lukas thinks its funny and thinks that someone listening to him is just like good content that could get him on barstool
lukas is badly influenced: this is basic as hell but someone that tells him to leave his impluse control at the door and encourages him to be trash. probs older than him and i def see this as more of a masc connection than a fem but like all my plot ideas: lets talk about it. this one probs v much depends on ur character so gonna leave this one nice and short
lukas is good-ly (??????) influenced: also basic as hell and p much just the opposite of above. someone who is a good influence on lukas. encourages creativity and ambition instead of straight up recklessness. again, i see it as an older character but no gender seen here. a lot of this would be based around ur character so lets chat
michael bublé’s co parents: lukas has a goldfish named michael bublé (or just michael), i picture him having got it while high as heck during the day and just being like This Is A Good Idea. maybe ur character was with him and they were co parents from the start or maybbe they came into the picture later ??? i’m honestly down for whichever just give michael the love he deserves pls
and probably just about anything else these are just some ideas, i totally wanna plot further and brainstorm so please still hmu if none of these fit ur character we’ll plot something up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Okay. I’ve allowed a night to let everything sink in. I’m ready to talk about Endgame now.
*cinemasins voice* spoilers!! (duh..)
so the wounds are still fresh. v v v v v v v v v fresh. but my thoughts during the entire movie were just OMG IM TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS HAPPENING SO I CAN REMEMBER IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE i inevitably go see this movie again
This is what the movie reduce me to like 99% of the time btw
now, I’m gonna try and break this up to be as organized as possible into 4 main sections which will be general thoughts, the highs, the lows, and closing thoughts. that may sound organized but I promise it won’t be and as always I’ll have to use bullet holes to even stay relatively "organized"
I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out that I either loved or would wanna discuss but tbh the ENTIRE FILM i was just like GOD I WANNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER!! Every scene that happened i was like god there's still 3 hours of stuff that's going to happen but I want to remember it all!!!
Overall
this movie was good. and i’m mad it was so good and i found it so enjoyable for how dirty they did me. The pacing was pretty well done for a first viewing, but I'm sure after a couple rewatches I'll get caught up on the occasional misstep in the pacing and general direction the story took, but I really liked it!!
I thought the Thor stuff was kinda distasteful and honestly a joke that ran too long. Like ha ha okay we get it but also? He went through so much fucking trauma can we just lay off him? Damn? I don't wanna linger too much on it bc honestly the more I think about it the more I get upset the russos did him dirty
all the callbacks??? made me so emotional????? eleven years and almost two dozen films guys holy fucking shit it felt like such a good homage to bring stuff back
Yo literally when they went up to busted ass thanos i leaned over to my bf and whispered "are they just gonna kill thanos in the first ten minutes is that allowed" and uh YEP! WOW
Also the opening scene being Clint's family getting dusted... gasps in my theater y'all they went in hard on us
TIME HEIST!!!!!! FUCK marvel knows how to take you on a fun journey!! The concept was so fun!!
I also appreciate them mixing up the plot a bunch to keep us guessing!! Like fuck, when Thanos was finding out through Nebula... future nebula talking to past gamora i was SO SOFT... sisters...
Hulk was... weird. It felt a weird kind of fanservicey for a little bit, and honestly a little out of place? But. Eh. Wasn't the worst part. Certain parts of it were fun! I think I got used to it haha
Everyone looked. So good. After the time jump. Damn. Thank you make up department for everyone's new looks. I live for silver fox tony always.
I loved seeing Loki again i know it was so little content BUT I DONT CARE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY FUCKING PRINCE
We didn't get as much Nebula and Tony content as I was hoping but god it was so cute and tender in the beginning. Imagine all that bonding. Nebula finding tony on the floor, knowing he's on the brink of death, and propping him up in the seat :'(((( tony helping fix nebula :(((( the father daughter relationship we deserved and didn't get to see come to fruition.
AMERICA'S ASS. THANK YOU SCOTT LANG.
All the New York flash back was so fucking fun. The elevator scene. Brilliant. I really thought they were gonna recreate but it was such a fun tease. Also cap making fun of his past self for saying "i could do this all day" I SCREAM why do the Russo's get steve so well
Carol taking a direct punch in the face from Thanos without even flinching? We stan a goddess
ALSO SHORT HAIRED CAROL YESSSS I LIVED!!!!! YES!!!! (But also that movie could've used like way more Carol thats just mY OPINION)
Also AGAIN, I DON'T CARE THAT IT WAS FAN SERVICE, STEVE WEILDING MJOLNIR WAS E V E R Y T H I N G. They have TEASED US since that one middle avengers movie we don't talk about that he was worthy and!!! Our!! Son!! Is!! Fucking!!! Worthy. And the scene of thor making him swap w/ him "you get the little one" i screamed bitch
also I was living for how much Steve swore in this film lol literally fuck joss Whedon's characterization we don't know her!
Valkyrie on a Pegasus thank you THANK YOU i was living
That entire final action scene..... holy fucking shit y'all. It was just crazy enough without being too crazy. I loved the callback to the original long continuous shot
THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SANG WITH THAT A-FORCE SCENE. YES. ALL THE MARVEL LADIES LINING UP. THEY ARE HERE AND THEY ARE THE STRONGEST OF US ALL. A-FORCE. FUCKING A-FORCE. Thank you Russo's for my LIFE
Carol's little "hi peter parker :)" god i love them. I love peter. My fucking spider son. I missed him so much. I missed Tom Holland's sweet peach little face AH I CRIED WHEN HE SHOWED BACK UP
Also last kind of ~general~ thought i know i don't get time travel at all and it is an instant way to confuse me in any franchise but wouldn't steve doing what he did fuck literally everything up idk we'll get to steve in a bit
Highs
morgan
H.
fucking
stark
I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT FED WITH SUCH GOOD TONY CONTENT THIS FILM ONLY FOR THEM TO STOMP ON MY HEART LMAOOO
DAD TONY BEING AS LOVING AND DOTING AND SWEET AND TENDER W/ HIS DAUGHTER AS WE ALL HAVE HEADCANONED HIM TO BE FOR YEARS!!!
TONY GETTING HIS JUSTIFICATION IN BEING MAD not just mad but PISSED at Cap for how everything fell out. catharsis. felt good scoob.
speaking of good tony content of course i need to just take a moment to YELL ABOUT STONY thank you russos for the fan service thank you for having tony ogle and comment on steve rogers’ ass it almost makes up for all the pain and suffering
btw do y’all think the H. for Morgan’s middle name stands for Harley because I LIKE TO THINK SO
also am i lowkey annoyed that like half of viewers won’t recognize an adult ty simpkin at tony’s funeral at the end even tho i know i shouldn't be because ot everyone is a die hard BUT half the articles im looking up for reviews and shit of that scene literally all the results are “SO WHO IS THAT KID AT THE END OF ENDGAME” YOU FUCKING FOOLS IT’S TONY’S FIRST BORN SON HARLEY KEENER FROM IRON MAN 3. FUCKS. im getting off topic anyway i was just happy they brought him back because I am an iron man 3 enthusiast and his relationship with tony was SO important and this confirms that at the very least tony kept in contact with him over all these years!!! and he wasn’t just some insignificant blip
Not to be stony on main but steve being the first person to hold Tony again once he was back on earth :)))) wrow.
Also the first thing tony telling him being "I lost the kid" WOW BREAK MY HEART MORE HUH!! WHY NOT!!
The first thing Peter doing when he saw Tony again :'') just rambling about everything that happened and tony just so happy to see him alive and hugging him so tight I'M NOT FINE!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE FINE AGAIN!!!
I appreciated the closure with Howard like?? A lot?? I'm the last person to be a Howard stark apologist, but I think his character and his relationship w/ Tony and how Tony viewed him as a father and as a man was so well crafted throughout the series??? Idk I liked that scene it was good to my baby.
And now a pOSSIBLY CONTROVERSIAL~~ opinion but..... I loved Steve's ending. I really did. I thought he got a beautiful and fitting ending and I was so happy. It meant so much especially to hear his reasonging being that in a way, he did it for Tony. He was inspired by what Tony told him. He saw Tony get his happy ending and for so many films now Steve has been searching for that and he missed an entire life. Tony helped him realize that. It just made me!! So emo!! Like Bucky's face when he knew Steve wasn't gonna be coming back. Steve's last convo w/ Sam. It was just amazing. I can't believe I'm seeing hot takes from people calling Steve selfish or blaming the fact that the Russos have a boner for Steggy or whatever. Who cares!!! Steve got his happy ending and it was well deserved and a wonderful arc!! Lay off him bc you ship him w/ Bucky or tony more damn!!!! (Idk about the timeline y'all dont come for me i really have no idea i think the Russos just said fuck it for that one even when talking about not fucking up the timeline)
Lows
Natasha deserved better. She did. I understand why they took her character arc the way that they did, and honestly, this is the first time I've felt we've seen Natasha have even a modicum of actual character traits since like, Iron man 2 and Avengers 1. She found purpose in keeping the family together and trying to help the people left living, while never stopping or losing contact with anyone else in their endeavors to fix what Thanos broke. As tired as I am of seeing a female character die for ~man pain~ this felt like so much more than that. In the end Nat wanted to sacrifice herself for the greater good, and that's what she did. I'm still fucking upset though, even though they've butchered her character across almost all the films she's been in
Thor being turned into an entire fucking joke. That's it. I got nothin left for the writers at this point.
So..... let's talk about Tony's death, shall we
"You can rest now" broke me. It truly did. I've never loved any fictional character across any medium as much as I have loved Tony Stark. But Pepper's line at the beginning "you'll sleep, but will you rest?" Is so fucking telling. I think I immediately knew for sure in that moment. Because she's right. And that's the worst part.
Peter :)))) finally :)))) calling :))))) tony :)))) by :)) his :)))) first :)) name :))) as he was dying :)))) asking him not to go the same way he told tony he didn't want to go when he was getting dusted GOD. AND WE THOUGHT THAT SCENE IN INFINITY WAR WAS ROUGH. HAD N O T H I N G ON THIS.
No offense but where was Rhodey when Tony was dying lmao ok
That funeral scene.... seeing everyone there drawn together..... god. It was beautiful. It really was.
Of course I'm not happy. I'm extremely fucking upset. I knew tony wielding the gauntlet would be coming, but I thought they would find a way for him to make it out alive. As soon as they were showing that even the hulk couldn't handle it with the gamma radiation, I knew the nail was going to be in the coffin.
All that aside... what I can say, is that if they HAD to kill him off, I think it was a proper send off. We saw so many arcs of Tony's come to a close, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Also that being said, I really don't believe in death being necessary to end a character's arc. Yeah yeah blah blah we get the sad and tragic but TRUE message that at the end of the day death is inevitable and that tony had to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He and Strange both knew it, and as soon as Strange held up that finger I knew that was it for him.
It wouldn't be so hard if they hadn't given us everything they did with tony after the 5 year jump. He healed. He was HAPPY. But pepper was right, and as long as Tony was alive... he would never truly /rest/. And that's the only way I'm able to make peace with this death. Tony has always been a character who was just going going going, never going to stop even if it killed him, all to protect the ones he loved, and protect the whole world and make it a better place. He had a beautiful story that was told so well over these past eleven years, with admitted shortcomings here and there. He had the most cohesive trilogy films, the best character development and arcs, and an incredible portrayal. I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't make it any easier that they decided to go and show us that Tony was able to FINALLY settle down with Pepper and see him find the best version of himself as a husband to her and a father to his little baby girl. A baby girl that now has to grow up without her dad, and pepper has to go on without her husband, the love of her life. It's fucking tragic and honestly, we didn't need that imho lmao
The hardest parts is that like.... idk. I feel like the only reason they killed him is for shock factor, but somehow without the shock? A lot of us felt or were worried that this was coming. I think the russos and co. We're just totally set on the idea that like... tony HAD to die and that was the only way for this arc to come to a close not just WITHIN the universe, but meta, outside of the MCU as well. They did the same thing with Hugh jackman as Logan and that shit HURTED me y'all. Eleven years we had RDJ give us this amazing character and he is the SOLE reason the MCU is where it is today. So you know what, the Russo's and everyone can circle jerk about how much ~poetic justice~ there is in this ending for Tony, but at the end of the day... it just ain't it fam.
Realistically I know after wielding the infinity stones there is no way Tony, a human, could've survived, even with his armor on. I knew that. And as biased as I am towards seeing Tony living, if he had wielded the stones and NOT died? It would've felt cheap. So again, if they had to end his life, I appreciate the way they did it and thought it was the best send off they could've given him. I also would've appreciated some kind of alternate option where oh i dont know carol or someone strong enough could've handled the snap and tony could live the rest of his days with his wife and daughter and found family but..... ig that's just me huh.
:(((( Happy asking Morgan what she wanted and her saying "cheeseburgers" SHE'S JUST LIKE HER DADDY I AM SO!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And last thought is that I fucking cried AGAIN because the biggest applause moment was during the credits when RDJ's name appeared. My theater gave a standing damn ovation. Also the very last sound after it faded to black... Tony hammering away, building the very first Iron Man suit.... that shit hurted.
If any of y'all read this and wanna yell about stuff w/ me I WELCOME YOU INTO MY DMS LMAO PLS MESSAGE ME I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CRY WITH!!!
#avengers spoilers#endgame spoilers#avengers endgame#endgame#have my classic word vomit long ass post after a marvel movie mess of a review lmaoo#long post
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Author Spotlight @echomoon
Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.
First things first, tell us a little about yourself.
what up im jared, im 19 and i never learned how to fuckign read. JK my name is Theo and I super know how to read. Most of the time. Also I’m 22. Anyway I’m one of the more OG members of the Magicians fandom, having been here since back in the early days of early s1. Uhhh I’m nonbinary and hella queer. Metafic is my most favorite thing in the world other than puppies. I cry at least once a day. I have adhd and depression and chronic pain and hella other issues. I’m an anthropology major, in my third year. I’m a slytherin, an illusions discipline, and a pisces.
How long have you been writing for?
Since I learned how, basically, but I only really started posting things online because of the Magicians and also because of Twilight?
What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?
It’s the BEST and I find it very easy to write from Quentin’s pov which means I actually finish things sometimes lol.
Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?
Quentin, because he is essentially me if I was born as a cisdude except more repressed in terms of sexuality and also more wealthy, which makes him super easy to write and super easy to get ideas about. I also like Penny, because for some reason people think I’m good at writing him?
Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?
I write a lot set in the Brakebills years because I like the whole magic school thing and the exploration of magic and interpersonal relationships without having to deal with the Beast or other threats trying to destroy everything they know and love? Like I like that slow burn, spread out, things are happening but they’re happening slowly and also heres some meta about magic kind of exploration that that time gives me the opportunity to do. I think this is partially influenced by that the first book has them in that setting so much longer, and partially because I’m still doing the whole college thing myself and find that easiest to relate to (because no one really wants to read ‘Quentin working two part time jobs and struggling to survive and nothing else happens’ unless it’s just a tiny segment of the fic lmao).
Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?
Well, in regards to Magicians fic, I’m still trudging along on chapter two of Magician’s Path - I’m trying to introduce more of Julia’s side of the story as well as working on how to warp the two canons into each other while also making the storyline unique - and also on the next part of crazy/classic/life, my paradise kiss and magicians crossover au. I’m also trying to find the time to record more podfic of my fics, because I think its important to have audiofic available. But nothing new, just continuations.
As for other fandoms, I’m working on a HELLA long reworking of the Descendants universe (hi i love disney channel movies dont judge), and that’s my primary focus right now in terms of fic.
How long is your “to do list”?
Very
What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?
Oh heck, um… probably either all tied up or The Magician’s Path. all tied up was my first time writing PiV smut and also writing shadeless!Julia and I’m just really proud of it? And TMP is like, my baby, my huge multichapter canon reworking that I’m putting so much planning into and I’m always so excited to talk about it. I know it doesn’t seem like much yet but y’all I have so many plans for it and I hope you end up loving it as much as I do.
Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?
TMP for sure - I hope that when I’m done more people give it a try.
What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?
Ha my writing process is either ‘has no ideas for months straight and then suddenly idea when I’m supposed to be doing something else but I gotta write this down!!!’ or ‘one sentence every month at most’. Now that the FTB server has gotten bigger, I’ve found some people who will proofread for me, so there’s that editing process afterwards (thanks @oneeyeddestroyer for being the best beta).
I guess my only superstition is that if I’m doing a multichapter or big work I try not to give too much detail out when I talk about it because I get worried that saying about the plot too much will make me lose interest in it.
Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?
I do tend to write more when the show is airing, because more people are engaged and it’s something to fill the void between episodes - during hiatus I tend to drift away a bit and focus on other fandoms. This is the first show thats been so all consuming for me, I don’t usually watch things while they air because I tend to forget about remembering to watch them after a week or so? But Magicians keeps pulling me back and keeping me in.
As for ongoing canon developments, it really depends on the thing. If it fits into my plot of it’s a detail I want to put in, I might, but otherwise I’m comfortable lifting what I want from canon and throwing the rest out for a fic - we follow a show with canon multiverses, we can do what we want lmao.
What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?
Honestly, most of my fics? Because I try to improve every time I write and like, explore new things. So whatever I’m working on at the time is the most challenging.
Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?
EVERYONE BEING HAPPY AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENING EVER cough cough I mean, um. I like meta, I like worldbuilding and exploring meta and seeing what I can change. I keep accidentally writing soulmate fics? So that’s a trend I guess.
Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?
Oh heck, so many dude, I don’t even know, I’m gonna just link you to my bookmarks because that’s the fic I love and probably unconsciously imitate on the often
As for nonfic, like I def want to write like Marisha Pessl or Tamora Pierce or Donna Tartt or Lev Grossman or Mark Z Danielewski but more in his house of leaves phase than his current stuff tbh or Neil Gaiman and also like. Everything that you read or watch or experience makes up how you see the world and how you create what you create and I consume so much stuff I can’t even begin to guess my influences beyond the little tidbits that I keep in my bookmarks or on my shelves.
What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?
Currently I’m reading a lot of harry potter fic - the mood is the department of mysteries or other exploration of magic, so things related to that. HP fic is my go to when I’m not revving for any fandom in particular. Nonfic, I’m working my way through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is hella fucking good, as well as a bajillion textbooks.
What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?
Fuck canon do what you want
Cringe time:
Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?
Yes but now that you ask can I remember any? Nope.
What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?
Oh shit dude I don’t even know. The earliest one I can remember was this like, post twilight self insert fic where the cullens came to my middle school for some reason? I barely finished the intro of it iirc but it might still be in my stack of papers in my old room somewhere.
Rapid Fire Round:
Self-edit or Beta? Beta (always get a beta kids! They’re worth their weight in gold)
Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? Comments!! (please, leave me comments, i live for them)
Smut, Fluff or Angst? fluff
Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn
Favourite season? All?????? Dont make me choose
Favourite episode? Im stuck between life in a day or all that josh
Favourite book(The Magicians books)? Probably book 2, i love seeing julia’s side of things and exploring hedge magic
Three favourite words? BUTTS, lore, hearth
Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.
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I SAW YOUR LAST POST ABOUT THE TICKET!!! I don't know if I understood correctly but DID YOU GET A TICKET?!😳😭💖
AYYY YOU ARE SO CUTE, thanks, it makes me feel good to talk about this with someone older than me, I was thinking of ending it with him until he said something to me and I was like WHAT?!😳😳😳😳 thank you but I'm embarrassed to talk to you by private message besides I feel like you'd get bored😭🤧
I was going to say that my private messages were also open but I realized that I am annonie😂😂
awwww baby don't blame yourself for that, your thesis was very important and you had to graduate, you can't blame yourself for that, besides if you couldn't go now nothing would happen baby I'm sure you would another chance to meet them and tell them that I love them❤❤❤❤💖💖💖💖
TELL THEM I LOVE THEM LMAO AYYYY GOD I AM SO EXCITED I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!! GOD I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE BUY ME A TICKET TO GO TO TEXAS AND A TICKET TO THE CONCERT😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧
the second book in the hush hush saga, It cost me almost a lung to be able to buy it but I'm happy 😊
yay I'm glad, I'm frustrated because I don't wanna study🙇🏼♀️☹
I GOT A TICKET AND OMFG I WAS TERRIFIED TO GO BY MYSELF BUT I'M SO GLAD I WENT! Their stage presence is on another level. They get so immersed in their performances. They were born to be on the stage. They eat CDs for breakfast and I refuse to believe otherwise. I got chills from how the crowd cheered and sang along. I was so happy to see others enjoying the concert. I've always found happiness in other people's happiness, so seeing all these fans' excitement and love for ateez really warmed my heart🥺 It also concerned me because the balcony the furthest sections (which I was in) were on literally BOUNCED WHEN PEOPLE JUMPED AND DANCED ALONG WITH THE SONGS AND IT FREAKED ME OUT. Being in the back sections, it was really difficult to hear them speak or perform because people kept screaming and I’m pretty sure there were only speakers at the front of the venue. They spoke in English for the most part but I didn't hear most of it because of the screaming. From what I did hear, their English is so good. They really didn’t have to learn it, and it shows how much they want to communicate with fans who speak it. They are the sweetest talking about atiny and you can tell how much they love us. More about the concert below the cut because I don’t want to annoy people with a long post; it includes pictures, albeit blurry because why would my new phone that was marketed as having high quality cameras actually take good videos or pictures??🙄
WHAT DID HE SAY?? I understand why you’d feel that way. I would never get bored talking to you, my love❤️
I WISH I COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOU HERE TO GO WITH ME, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE FUN WITH A FRIEND
I’ve never heard of that book series, so I searched it lol it sounds interesting! I don’t like reading novels because I can’t focus on one long enough to finish it😅 (I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD until last year). In high school, I only read spark notes for book reports because I hated reading and I’m a really slow reader so it took forever.
Love, you need to study and do well, but I totally feel you lol
Hongjoong was so cute with the fans. Someone made a weird scream and he repeated it and said "I like that." 😳 bOY IF YOU DONT CHILL lol he called himself "the captain" of ateez and I died because I remembered this stupid meme I made forever ago. He also brought up how the last time they were in Dallas they kept saying yeehaw. The person behind me was like "I know he did not just say yeehaw." I was recording when that happened but it didn't get picked up on the audio. It was so funny I snorted. I didn't realize how many singing parts he has in their songs until last night and he did so well🥺
(pic below from “eternal sunshine” for Hongjoong’s “okay cheese” part)
Seonghwa was a demon and an angel last night. He turned it ON during performances, like he knows what them hips and that tongue do to us hard stans. During one of his talks, he was trying to get the audience pumped up and kept yelling "say my name" and I- *dirty thoughts activated* tbh every time he yelled to get us excited was hot. In contrast, in his ments, he was so appreciative of atiny and had such a way with words. I'm pretty sure they were reading off screens next to the speakers across the stage, but I'd like to believe they wrote their own speeches, not a staff team. He mentioned that the last time they were in Dallas he said we were brighter than the stars and then said "But now, I see that you are the light of the stars." HOW SWEET IS HE?? His ments got me emotional, and I think he stopped himself from crying at one point after he talked about how he learned to love himself from atiny. During star 1117, San didn't sing one of his parts to let atinys sing and Seonghwa looked like he was tearing up during his last part (1st pic below). This man is too precious. He was the most emotional member at our concert🥺😭🤧
(pic below of him during introductions; he smiled every time he talked and it was so cute🥺)
Yunho. twerked. like. his. rent. is. due. tomorrow. (1st pic below; he put his whole back into it). His dancing was so clean; he makes it look so easy. That one part he does in the deja vu chorus 🥵 HIS HIPS DON’T LIE. In the choreo for "desire," he's on the ground and, like, shushes the floor (2nd pic below), and my section lost it. The entire venue was thirsty for this man. His and Yeosang's duet parts in turbulence were works of art. He looked so happy on stage and had the brightest smile🥺
Yeosang has become so confident and it makes me want to cry I'm so proud of him. That mixed with his stage presence had me dead in my seat. His performance last night makes me think he’s coming for the demon line idk I can’t explain it. He had that bad boy vibe. Every time it was his turn in a song or ment, the entire venue were Yeosang stans and screeched so loud. He got so shy when Yunho called him sexy when they were talking about what makes ateez attractive. There were so many signs for the venue about prohibiting weapons yet somehow Yeosang got in with these guns??? 😳
(pic below from desire of Yeosang [left] and San [right]; I’m pretty sure this isn’t a part of the choreography because Yeosang seemed surprised when San grabbed him lol)
Goddamn, will San be the death of me. His duality gets me every time. When he's performing, he acts like he is the hottest man alive and knows it, but then gets all shy when they're talking. When they were talking about what makes ateez attractive, Mingi threw San under the bus and said San’s “sexy-cute” was attractive. San looked at him so fast like “bitch don’t start with that.” The members were trying to get him to do something sexy and he kept stalling so Seonghwa took the mic out of his hand lmao We started chanting his name and he did a slow hip thrust but Mingi wasn’t satisfied. He ended up doing that grind on me dance from vine and shielded his face from us because he was so embarrassed (pic below). Then the members teased him for being “too sexy,” and Hongjoong added that San’s most attractive feature is his energy heain’twrong. During other members’ parts, he was such a hypeman omfg. His vocals were so nice; his voice is very much my style. He also kept growling during his parts💀 I haven't wanted to admit it but San has become my bias. NOBODY TELL HONGJOONG🤫
(pic below from “take me home;” San is effortlessly sexy🥵)
Mingi must be protected at all costs. He is a precious little bean. My section was mostly Mingi stans so I barely heard him speak. His voice is sooo deep. He and Yeosang did a pushup competition, and he teased us like he was going to take off his jacket to show off his arms. He was also really funny and bubbly. Seeing him perform songs he didn't get to during music show promotions because he was on a hiatus I just- 🥺 The yungi bromance was alive and well
Wooyoung was such a flirt with the front sections especially stage right omfg 😩 and his whisper part in "the leaders" had us all gagged. This little shit flashed his abs (pic below) and smirked after everyone screamed (my video is too blurry to see it). He and Yunho did the dance break in "the real" and they both twerked💀 His and San’s dance interlude after “answer” was beautiful
(pic below from “the real;” he literally rubbed his hands up his legs and over his butt💀)
(pic below of San losing it after Yunho and Wooyoung twerked)
Jongho's high notes gave me CHILLS. His vocals are unreal. He sang "when I was your man" by Bruno Mars aka my favorite Bruno Mars song and holy shit does this man have talent. He is one of the best vocalists in kpop, not just this generation of kpop. Also, Hongjoong had the audience screaming to get him to do aegyo, so Jongho sang that Korean children's song "three bears." Later during another ment, he came out with Hongjoong’s sunglasses on and called himself “boss” lol (1st pic below)
(pic below of him just being a vocal legend during “turbulence”)
I saw videos of the hi-touch event and fans just waved and walked past the boys behind a plastic screen. They didn't get to talk to them, get something signed (I know they get a poster but idk if it’s signed), or touch them. Staff members were gesturing and telling fans to walk faster. I thought hi-touch events were like fansigns you see videos of from fansites in South Korea. Maybe I’m just dumb, but hi-touch is not what I thought it was. It took place after the concert when everyone was so tired. The fans had already been standing for so long and the boys obviously just finished basically a 2-and-a-half hour intense workout. I thought it happened before the concert along with soundcheck. I'm glad I didn't give into one of those expensive tickets because that would have felt like a waste of money (because I was expecting something completely different), but I would have loved to have been closer. I took binoculars but my tremors were really bad and I couldn't get them to focus properly. I'm very nearsighted and I was in one of the furthest sections.
Ateez came to Texas because of fans campaigning on MyMusicTaste (this page explains it). If there’s a big enough fan base in your country, y’all could win a concert. I’d help the best I can!
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i just like doing these
1. Do you like who you are? no ive never liked myself very much
2. What would people say about you at your funeral? i don’t know probably something about being smart and honest
3. What would you regret not doing in your life? i dont like thinking about my past but many not trying hard enough the first time i tried to od...
4. What’s the wisest thing you have ever heard someone say? idk
5. What lessons in life did you learn to hard way? it took me a long time to learn when to quit
6. How often do your biggest worries and fears come true? they dont and i take too much lexapro to worry these days
7. If you had one year left to live, what would you try to achieve? i’d probably just travel
8. Do you serve money or does money serve you? i don’t think about money a lot as long as i can buy nic and coffee
9. Are you afraid of being your true self around others? Why? no. i dont thinks there’s a thing as a ‘true self’ just different versions of yourself
10. What are you grateful for? financial stability and being able to go to college
11. Have you done anything you are proud of lately? nope!
12. Have you made any recent acts of kindness? i doubt it!
13. If you knew that you would die tomorrow, what questions would you ask yourself? i’d just go to bed no point asking questions
14. If your biggest fears came true, would it matter in five years from now? yes.
15. How would you describe yourself? depressed. but funny and smart ig
16. Do you take people’s advice? sometimes but i think taking advice is hard because im so bad at giving the full picture
17. Do you get quickly offended? not really, it depends
18. Do you consider yourself to be a likable person? no lol
19. ‘We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give’ – What does this mean to you? hard work i dont know
20. Are you enriching the lives of others? i doubt it
21. Are you living a meaningful life? no
22. What makes a meaningful life? contributing something and being happy
23. Would you ever give up your life to save another? depends on the person
24. How much would you be willing to sacrifice for people in poverty? what do you mean? i’d pay higher taxes and stuff
25. If you could live one day over and over again, what would you choose to do? i wouldn’t want that
26. Do you think you are important and worthy of affection and love? no.
27. What would make you feel more worthy? What do you believe needs to be different about you? i need to stop being sad
28. What brings you down the most often? boredom
29. Would you rather work less (and do the things you enjoy) and have less money? yes
30. Where do you find peace? sitting by streams
31. What is the most important quality you look for in another person? sense of humor
32. What is your biggest dream in life? to be successful and respected
33. What is your biggest fear? failure
34. How would the world be different if you had never been born? it literally wouldn’t. my parents wouldn’t have daughters i guess.
35. What life lessons do you wish you knew 10 years ago? i was a child i needed to learn first.
36. If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? join the track team
37. If your life was a movie, what would the title be? bedtime
38. If your life was a movie, would you enjoy watching it? depends on the director
39. What does success mean to you? i feel like i already answered this
40. If you could be a different person, who would you be? yes
41. What was the best day of your life? Why? i dont know probably my last real date with my ex...
42. What do you look forward to most in life? being happy one day
43. What bad habits do you want to ditch? i want to start keeping my room clean
44. Who do you look up to and why? my mom, shes just really hard working
45. Do you know your partners love language? i dont have a partner
46. Do the people you love most know how much you love them? im sure they do
47. Are you satisfied with the depth of your relationships? yeah
48. What do you owe yourself? sleep
49. Based on your current day-to-day life, what do you expect to achieve in 5 years from now? a MA!
50. Do you say ‘yes’ too often when you really want to say ‘no’? Why? yes, i dont get offered things very often so sometimes i feel like i have to say yes
51. What did you learn yesterday? i think my childhood friend is hot and we like the same anime lmao
52. What do you like about yourself? im smart
53. Would you consider yourself to be a generous person? yeah
54. Do you really listen when people talk to you? yes ofc
55. What is the number one change you need to make in your life this year? ugh i should probably quite vaping but maybe start working out again
56. How many hours per week do you spend on the internet? too many
57. What are your most common negative thoughts? Are they logical? im literally suicidal
58. Do you think it’s too late to do certain things in your life? Why? yes because they’re things i would have had to start when i was younger but thats not important anymore.
59. If you could be the most influential person in the world, what would you change? redistribute wealth probably
60. How much time do you spend with your family and friends? like a few hours a week. im not very social
61. Where do you want to be in 5 years from now? the east coast :)
62. Is your life complicated by unnecessary things? everyones life is
63. How can you simplify your life and focus on the most important things to you? bitch idk
64. What stresses you out? my sister
65. What makes life easier? having stuff i have to do
66. How often do you give without expecting anything in return? occasionally
67. What is your greatest challenge? mental illness luv
68. What is most important to you in life? Are you giving it the time it deserves? idk idk
69. If you could send a message to the world, what would you say in 30 seconds? i dont have anything to say to the world. maybe redistribute the wealth?
70. What do you most regret never telling someone? that i loved them.
71. When was the last time you tried something new? sucking balls
72. Are you afraid to speak your own opinion? no
73. Do you give into others too often and feel resentful because of it? no
74. Are you holding onto something that you need to put behind you? probably
75. How often do you let your fears hold you back? i dont
76. Do the people in your life bring the best out of you? some do some don’t
77. How often do you make excuses? i try not to
78. What is one mistake that you will never do again? dating someone who couldn’t really commit then
79. Which is worse, failing or never giving it a shot? never trying
80. What has grown you the most as a person – your challenges and trials or the comfortable yet enjoyable moments in life? the challenges
81. If you could choose to have no more challenges or obstacles in life, would you? no what a pointless life.
82. In one word, what is standing between you and your biggest goal? time and hard work!
83. How often do you go to bed feeling angry? i dont
84. Would it be wrong to steal in order to feed a starving child? no
85. If you paid more attention to the sad things in this world, would you feel more conflicted about it? no
86. If we learn from our failures, then why is it so bad to fail? because its a sucky feeling and its embarassing to want something and not be able to get it
87. What could you pay more attention to in life? my cats
88. Why do we think of others the most when they’re no longer around? sad maybe
89. What does it look like to make the most of your life? idk i’ve never tried. maybe ill start a vlog channel on youtube
90. What have you given up on? eating more than 2x a day
91. How many people do you truly love and what are you doing for them? 4 or 5 and idk not worrying them
92. Do you ask enough questions, or are you happy to settle for what you already know? i think asking questions is a good thing
93. What were you doing when you last lost track of time? tiktok
94. Do you think you would be happy if you never had to work again? i think i would be bored
95. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? a baby
96. If you could ask for one wish, what would it be? to be good at math
97. What inspires you in life? idk art
98. What can you not live without the most? water
99. What do you enjoy doing over and over again? sleeping
100. When did you last laugh so much it hurt? i dont know
101. What is stopping you from living the life you want to live? the actual life i live
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hello angels n demons ! it’s me , uh kira , with the love of my life , PARK JOOHYUK . i love , redvelvetsus with my whole damn heart ! n marvel/dc , an*me n shopping by myself ! i’ve played joohyuk many times ( twice vc: twice! ) n i really wanted to bring him back in a rp , so that’s what i did ! im rlly excited to write him again ( hes a bit different from how i first imagined him tbh ) , & i’m also rlly excited to write with u all !! so to get to know joohyuk a lil more, i’ve written down some key things about him . at the end of it please give a big heart if ur interested enough to plot with me n joohyuk .. love me some validation
[ jeon jeongguk ] — hey there! this is [ PARK JOOHYUK ] and I go by [ he/him ], a [ twenty ] years old [ florist ] currently residing at [ daemun one bedroom apartment ] [ with my COUSIN ]. I am known around here for being [ b e n i g n ] but also [ taciturn ]. it’s nice to meet you!
WARNING: long because i dont know when to stop !
a BLESSING is what park jaehwan & kwon rohui called him after meeting fresh out the womb baby. although a little smaller & lighter than what was normal, his screams was proof that he was still a healthy boy ! his parents were excited to finally have their baby boy with them on this world, the baby they always wanted to have & now he’s finally here. ( HOSPITAL RECORDS: park joohyuk born march 20th 1997 on 09 55 pm . )
such a spoiled little thing he was, showered in affection & gifts ranging from secondhand iron man toys to hand me down clothes that were still too big for joohyuk . money was a luxury for them , the parents just barely making ends meet with their 7-11esque store but for his parents , who always wanted to have a child of their own ; they would do everything for him.
ask joohyuk what his childhood looked like & he would probably talk about tending the flowers in their backyard with his dad , learning about the different meanings of flowers and how to take care of them . he liked tending to the flowers during the spring months , more than he liked going to the playground near their home and having to play with the other kids. joohyuk always had the tendency to shy away from the neighbor aunties who would try to pinch his cheeks, and especially strangers. he wouldn’t even greet others if it wasn’t for his mother telling him to not be disrespectful.
joohyuk likes flora but his true love is SINGING !
whether it be in his own room or in the bathroom, as long as it’s in the trusting & comfortable space of his home , he’d sing. sometimes even when his parents are in the same room as him too . his mother starts calling him her little songbird , his dad calls him sweet pea . joohyuk loves it .
at age thirteen , an idol company scouted him ; having heard his singing when he passed by & joohyuk was well , embarrassed for the fact that the walls aren’t as thick as he thought they were but also very conflicted on what to do with being invited to do audition. the company wasn’t a big name like SM or YG , in fact joohyuk wasn’t even sure if he ever heard of the company before. his parents of course , were very excited to hear about the news ; of course they were , they were basically his BIGGEST stans . so they talked him into auditioning & after a lot of insecurity confessions n worries , joohyuk was packing a bag to get ready for the three hour train ride.
if he could’ve re-do his audition he would because it just wasn’t good , his voice cracked mid way through the song & he forgot his cue to start . tl;dr . it was absolute shit. and for joohyuk who didn’t want to audition in the first place, felt utterly heartbroken now after his audition.
but miracles apparently do exist & three weeks after the audition , ( joohyuk almost forgot about it oops ! ) he got a call saying that he got in ! so a month after that , he was packing his bags & went on the same train back to seoul, his parents tagging along as they booked a stay at a guesthouse for a week so that joohyuk doesn’t miss them too much.
during his trainee time , he felt incredibly lonely . his other fellow trainees tried to include him in their conversations & making him feel at ease but , joohyuk has always been the introvert type & always had trouble making friends. the other trainees didn’t bully him or anything but after so many attempts at befriending joohyuk they just started , ignoring him.
the training period was hard , but joohyuk loves singing so much that it outweighs the cons . but five years later & with his debut date already set in stone , joohyuk just , couldn’t do it anymore. he hated singing in front of all those people, he cried every single evaluation & he couldn’t stand the pressure, he couldn’t stand the thought of those guys he was going to be debuting with , knowing that he’d have to WORK with them & LIVE with them for the next who knows many years . joohyuk didn’t want to be a burden in a group where he wasn’t totally committed in. so he quit.
the employees at the company weren’t all too happy with it , definitely not after spending the last five years making him into “ perfection “ . but , joohyuk still didn’t waver his decision even when he was drowning in the trainee debt.
after that , joohyuk finished his high school . & college was expensive , and he doesn’t have much money even with the scholarship so it didn’t last long until joohyuk dropped that as well to work in a small flower store owned by a widow name jung haesoo . and he never returned to school again.
HIS parents were disappointed in him , not the fact that he quit the trainee thing but more over that he dropped out of school . they believe that he won’t get a good future later since he doesn’t have an education , they only want the best for him they kept saying that to him but joohyuk didn’t listen.
DAEMUN APARTMENT with one bedroom is his place of residence now , crashing the couch of his cousin who has kindly welcomed him . the place isn’t anything like his home in busan , far from it really but it’s still a place where he can make his home into.
DHFKLDSF UHH IF U MANAGED TO READ ALL OF THAT THEN I APPLAUD YOU , WE’RE LIKE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS I PROMISE
after all this years, the one thing joohyuk isn’t good at is still talking to strangers . he’s incredibly shy , even having a hard time walking up to a customer needing assistance , but he’s .. working on it probably. he needs a good five minute to hype himself up before walking towards the customers tbh . he’s very , sweet too . he’s really , sweet lmao... tries to see the best in everyone , he’s got his heart in the right place. his biggest flaw is well , he doesn’t know when to stop giving. so please , don’t take too much advantage of him djfslksjf . sike do it.
[ extras ] talking & singing to the flowers thinking that they’ll grow , being able to watch any & every horror movie . taking the stairs to his apartment instead of the elevator . succulent on the window sill . remembering the customer’s orders . secret stash of tea underneath the register . blushing easily . making himself smaller than he actually is . liking dogs but being allergic to them .
[ PLOTS ] well , he actually he needs all of them friends , crushes , mayhaps enemies . i do have a very unfinished plots page in the works so , uhh i’ll link it when it’s done ! but in the mean time i absolutely do not mind brainstorming so yeah : ) . please give this a like if u want to plot hdjsfkldsjf
and thank you so much for reading this demon of an intro !
#encounters:intros#i keep getting distracted by .. miss wolf live exordium version#( OOC. ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs 4 ᴡᴀʟʟs ! )
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