#new and improved ultimate lifeform

[taffydragondraws]

flap flap

[clean-casual-analysis]

When the villain is a philosophy

When you think of the word antagonist, the first thing that comes to mind is a villain. This is completely natural, given that stories of good vs evil tend to follow a heroic protagonist fighting against an evil antagonist. But once you get into the definition of the word, a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something, moral alignment doesn’t dictate whether a character should be a protagonist or an antagonist. The most recognizable examples of this would be the likes of Invader Zim and Megamind, characters that are villainous in nature but are still the protagonists of their respective stories.

But villain protagonists and hero antagonists aren’t what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the antagonists that aren’t entirely focused on, at least in the traditional sense. Antagonists that, despite being the source of conflict in the narrative, don’t actually show up a lot of the time. These antagonists, while characters in their own right, are more symbolic in nature. The protagonists of these stories aren’t just trying to defeat the antagonists, but the rotten philosophies that these antagonists have. The beliefs that push the antagonists to do their villainous acts.

White Diamond: Uniformity and the Status Quo

In the entirety of the original Steven Universe series, not counting the movie or SU Future, White Diamond appears in three episodes out of one hundred and sixty episodes. (Two if we don’t count White Pearl/Volleyball) That’s not even one percent of the series. In most series involving a good vs evil plot line, we usually switch perspectives between our heroes and villains to understand how they’re reacting to the events of the story. But SU is entirely told from Steven’s perspective. The audience only gets new information about gems, homeworld, Rose Quartz, etcetera, when Steven himself learns it. Because of this perspective, we don’t see the final antagonist of the series until the very end of the show.

But even though White Diamond is not present throughout the majority of the show, her homeworld subordinates and beliefs fill in the place of the hurdles that the protagonists must pass. Think about what the show is about and what lessons it teaches. Relationships are intricate and need mutual respect, being proud of who and what you are, and (most importantly) societal roles do not define you. The development of the main characters each involve acceptance of the self and bucking of what’s expected of them. Pearl fully moving on from Rose, Garnet improving her self-love, Amethyst fully accepting herself for what she is, Peridot’s disillusionment with Homeworld and growing appreciation for earth, Connie disobeying her mother’s strict rules, Steven slowly becoming someone better than even his own mother, I could go on. It’s honestly surprising, looking back, how most of the characters’ core issues stem from the lack of self-assurance and how homeworld views their flaws.

White Diamond and her Homeworld regime ultimately represent how systems put limits and stigma onto people for the sake of uniformity. The consequence of living inside your own head. A fusion cannot happen between two different gems, Pearls must be servants, Quartz gems must be big and strong, and Diamonds must be the perfect leaders. Why? Because that’s just what gems do. Because that’s how the system works. Homeworld’s status quo is one of creating an ever-expanding empire at the cost of independence, self-expression, unique lifeforms, and healthy relationships. The system can’t be wrong, White Diamond can’t be flawed, it’s how things have always been so why change what isn’t broken.

Sauron: Dominance and Corruption

While he has more screen presence and is a much more a significant part of the story of Lord of the Rings than White Diamond is to SU, the dark lord Sauron is similarly one small part of a larger tale. Heck, he doesn’t even have dialogue in the book trilogy. Also, like White Diamond, Sauron is best represented by his many underlings. Ruthless orcs with crude but effective weaponry, colossal beasts to crush his enemies underfoot, massive armies dedicated to the dark lord’s cause of dominating all life in Midde Earth. But what’s most notable about Sauron isn’t the great power he possesses or the armies he commands, it’s the way he corrupts and deceives those that stand against him.

The betrayal of Saruman the White, the nine Nazgûl once being great kings of men who were turned into terrible ringwraiths, and most notoriously, the enticing power of the one ring. Boromir, believing that Gondor can use this evil weapon for good. Smeagol, utterly degraded into a deceitful cave dwelling throttler named Gollum. Frodo, forced to carry a heavy burden that weighs him down both physically and mentally. To Sauron, the corruption of good is a weapon he wields with unmatched lethality.

The insidious nature of his villainy is what makes Sauron the great representative of dominance and corruption that he is. The promises of more enticing good people to do evil for the “right” reasons and the ruthless conquest for dominion over all is all too real an evil to ignore.

The Martians: Colonialism and Warfare

I debated with myself on whether or not the martians from War of the Worlds should be included here. Unlike Sauron or White Diamond, the martians are clear and present throughout the story. On the other hand, there isn’t a named martian general or a big bad that’s shown to lead the alien invaders into combat. In the end, the fact that the martians are made to purely represent the darkest parts of humanity outweighs the secondary theme of this essay.

One of, if not THE first alien invasion story, War of the Worlds messaging is clear and easy to understand. The tentacled beings from Mars are coldly intelligent, remorseless, and regard our world with envious eyes. They use human blood as sustenance when they aren’t vaporizing us by the hundreds, their tripods are horrific machines of mass destruction, and their invasion is one of slaughter and destruction. But the book is quick to remind us that humanity isn’t so morally innocent compared to the martians. The consumption of our blood seems horrific, but humans have also killed animals and each other for food and resources. Their tripods are colossal and terrifying, but humanity has made countless destructive war machines. The invaders are dead set on wiping out humanity, but humanity not only brought extinction to animals like the dodo bird but to entire groups of our own kind. The martians are not simply an alien invasion to fight back against, it’s a cautious look into our worst future. A humanity that prioritizes ruthless colonization and military might is a humanity doomed to be parasitic and heartless.

War of the Worlds also takes a critical view towards solving problems through warfare. Violence is sometimes needed to fight evil, but that does make violence a good thing. The action and battles in War of the Worlds are not thrilling or glorious, they are horrific and even bumbling to an extent. Much like the early British imperials that they represent, the martians are arrogant and only win because they have the better technology. Even the destruction of a tripod has severe consequences, a flaming wreckage falling into a lake and boiling the humans hiding there alive. There is nothing pride or goodness to found in destruction and death. Warfare and violence should be the last resort of those trying to survive, yet humanity and martians brandish their weapons without care or empathy for those beneath them.

The Truth, In-Fighting, and the Seemingly Insignificant

These antagonists all represent a morally dangerous part of humanity. The stubborn refusal to change a flawed status quo, the desire to dominate and corrupt those who don’t, needless conquest and bloody war. But despite all their power and influence, these philosophies that the villains believe in fail them in the end.

For White Diamond, her ultimate failure stems from the mortal enemy of all tyrannical systems: the truth. In the last episode of Steven Universe, White Diamond removes the gemstone from our protagonist’s body. Believing that the mischievous Pink Diamond is merely hiding in this human body, White seeks to end this silly game once and for all. But once the gemstone is removed, it does form into Pink Diamond or even Rose Quartz. It forms a bright pink Steven. In the final act of Change Your Mind, White Diamond is faced with reality and all its implications. This gemstone is Steven, it’s always been Steven. This half human is not the irrational or childish person, it’s White. The leader of Homeworld, the one who’s supposed to know all and make things better, is wrong. But in order to do that, she needs to leave her own head. One of the hardest things for a person to do is admit when they’re wrong, that their foundational beliefs holding up a status quo is deeply flawed and objectively false. But accepting that you were wrong, learning from and fixing your mistakes, and becoming something better than what you were before is the greatest reward anyone genuinely looking for redemption can ask for.

For Sauron, his victory over Middle Earth comes so close. Minas Tirith has been ravaged, the army of man outside the black gates are crumbling before his might, and the ring bearer has been corrupted. However, just when all hope is burned to ash, something unexpected happens. Gollum, the epitome of the corruptive power that the one ring possesses, attacks Frodo to get back his precious. Whether it’s through struggling with Frodo like in the movie or not paying attention like in the book, Gollum falls into the fires of Mount Doom with the ring in tow. In the movies, we’re told that the eye of Sauron can pierce through cloud and stone. Because of this detail, I personally wonder what was going through the dark lord’s mind as he watched Gollum plummet to his death. The one ring’s defense, Sauron’s greatest strength, corrupting others into fighting amongst each other, was what led to his ultimate downfall. This is not the first time something like this has happened. Think back to the orcs fighting amongst themselves, or when Wormtongue stabs Saruman in the back. Not to mention that the mercy of both Frodo and Bilbo is what led to Gollum reaching Mount Doom in the first place. Even with all his armies and power, Sauron underestimated the petty infighting amongst his followers and the little acts of kindness of his enemies. Even when the forces of darkness seemingly succeed, all they’ll have left is each other to destroy. As Frodo himself said in the Two Towers book, they can’t conquer forever.

For the martians, their demise comes outwardly from nowhere. Their Tripods fall silent and they all die due to sickness. The book states that the martians either never encountered bacteria like earth’s or they had wiped out all disease on Mars. In both scenarios, the martian’s belief in their untouchable superiority over earth led their death. As soon as their invasion started, they were doomed. War of the Worlds isn’t just a hard look at what humanity could become, but also a love letter to all types of life. Bacteria, the seemingly most insignificant part of our world, is our savior here. It is so, so easy to despise germs and how they make mankind ill. But they also decompose dead flesh, helps the human body digest food, and are just as vital to our world as so many other creatures’ humanity takes for granted. All forms of life has a place in this world and to undervalue, let alone actively want to eliminate, all of it is foolhardy and black-hearted.

It’s how these stories come to an end is why I’m attracted to the idea of villains representing abhorrent philosophies. They show the inherent flaws of such morally bankrupt ideas and how their failures are inevitable. The desire for uniformity and belief that your status quo is flawless cannot stand up to the truth of the situation. Great and powerful conquerors seeking to corrupt will find themselves destroying each other when there is nothing left to dominate, while small acts of generosity and sympathy keep their opponents afloat. Arrogant war lords with their mighty machines will crumble to the things they deem to be insignificant.

[sonic-fankid-showdown]

Poll 3, Round 1.

About Geode: (by @oddogoblino) In an attempt to impress The Eggman, a mad yet inexperienced scientist stole Gerald Robotnik's blueprints of Project SHADOW and tried to improve on it to make the definitive true ultimate lifeform to defeat Sonic once and for all. To add insult to injury, the eggsupporter had chosen to use some of Sonic's DNA along with Shadow's, that'd been found from battle aftermaths, to make his creation. Before their prototype was even finished though, GUN had found out about Project REMASTERED. Rouge told Shadow about it before GUN could do a raid though so he could handle this personal matter how he found fit. Well, Shadow went and destroyed the lab of course, though he wasn't prepared to see just how early in development the project was. He was expecting something full grown but all he found was the prototype barely in the infant phase in its development. Being unable to just kill a baby or adopt this all powerful baby off to an unsuspecting family (and also being unknowingly motivated by Black Arms instincts to keep the species alive), Shadow decided to take the little hoglet in as his own. At first, Shadow was too caught up in caring for Geode off instinct to think about telling anyone about him, but just a few months in and Geode already began showing his defects in creation and Shadow turned to Sonic and Tails for help. Now, Geode has inhibitor rings to keep his chaos energy at a stable level and has been growing up comfortably from home to home, adventure to adventure. Geode himself though, by the time he's 16, is a very quiet, introverted, affectionate, emotional, compassionate, and sort of awkward character. He's not good at social but he cares about others and is very forgiving when hes wronged and has decent emotional intelligence. He's a "be mindful of how you use the water if the cup's half empty" kinda thinker. He's very curious on just about anything new he discovers. Others can think of him as being a bit simple minded sometimes though. People tend to overwhelm him easily so he finds most comfort in spending time with Chao. If he's not on a mission, he's a bit of a clumsy puppy of a guy. But, if Shadow puts 2 thoughts into something and Sonic puts none, then Geode only puts 1 thought into everything he does. He's a pacifist who can't bring himself to hurt living beings, he can fight nonsentient robots just fine but otherwise he prefers to trap any living enemies in whatever he can get his hands on. He's a stealth type and has a habit of stealing artifacts and other magical things he deems too powerful to let be taken even by his dads. He can see chaos auras 24/7 to a heightened sense, being able to see the chaos energy even in plants along with being able to see the chaos energy left behind from those deceased (aka, ghosts). He's faster than Sonic but he's weaker than Shadow. He loves the world around him very dearly, having Sonic's passion for life/the world and Shadow's determination to fight for himself. Geode also has picked up mechanics as a small hobby though he's not very passionate about it.

About Brutus: (by @susahnasomething) A genetically enhanced clone of Shadow (mixed with Sonic's DNA) Brutus was made and raised by Eclipse the Darkling, who hoped to bring back the black arms by making a bunch of super powerful clones. This was not good for her. Eventually the heroes defeated Eclipse, and Shadow rescued her (not her clone siblings sadly, cause SOMEONE DECIDED THAT THERE SHALL ONLY BE ONE) and was then raised by sonadow. Brutus is a dark and conceited girl, reminding everyone of past shadow. Who firmly believes she cannot be killed nor destroyed, so she tends to throw herself into danger. (shes the ultimate lifeform nothing can hurt her!!) . . . totally!

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

New story drop!

This one is for all you Ark Sibling fans out there, especially now that Sonic X Shadow Generations is out to the public.

This one is based off one of many artworks my friend @cosmoshard did months ago and let create a story based on it.

Summary: There’s so many things that the Ultimate lifeform can handle whenever it was thrown at him at full power to take him down. He just never took note a mere child would end up being the one to break his stoic exterior.

Just another fluff filled Ark Sibling story.

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“Ugh….” Shadow leaned his body against the wall with his eyes closed, the cool temperature of the metal seeping through his thick quills on his shoulders and back, bringing some relief to his aching limbs. He rubbed his eyelids with his thumb and forefinger, an attempt to try to keep them from shutting close.

The professor had him do some drills to test out his ever growing chaos powers, causing quite a long session to where he pushed himself a little too much for his body to handle to which he ended up passing out due to it. All he remembered was waking up and feeling his body throbbing to where he wasn't able to move for a while.

Luckily, Gerald showed some mercy and decided that it was all they needed to do for the day.

Even then, he felt like he still couldn't fully relax due to his mind still buzzing around.

Mostly due to the other testing they did prior, trying to see if his blood can be made into a cure for Maria. They still haven't found a change in the results as far as he knew, they were just the same as always with very little to say that they made a breakthrough.

But It's been almost 2 years, longer than any of them had originally predicted to find a solution.

It was frustrating to say the least, knowing he was improving on everything except for the exact reason why he was created…

What was even his purpose-?

“Shaddy!”

His ears perked up at the sudden sound of a familiar, young voice coming from his right. He turned to see the source of the voice running at him at full speed, the girl’s pigtailed hair flew out wildly behind her while her sock covered feet nearly caused her to slip on the newly polished floor. That didn't seem to faze her as she kept coming right towards him.

“Shaddy, Shaddy!”

Shadow smiled widely at her and held out his arms expectantly, to which she launched herself into his arms. He caught her with ease as she wrapped her arms and legs around him like a koala, hearing her signature twinkle-like giggles as he tightly returned the hug. Despite the girl barely coming up to his chest in height, she was barely a struggle to hold due to his natural strength.

“Oh man, you're getting heavy.” Shadow groaned feignedly, shifting both of his arms to support her small body better. “You gotta tell your grandpa to stop feeding you so much.”

The girl merely giggled, pulling her head back and giving him a wide smile. “You keep saying that, I’ve seen you lift heavy stuff before.”

“Yeah, but you're a different kind of heavy. The type where your arms can hold something one minute then the next they just give out- WHOA!” He suddenly released his arms, making Maria drop before quickly catching her before she hit the ground, causing her to scream out.

“Hehey!”

“See? I don't know why that happens.”

“You did that on purpose!” She laughed out, trying to keep a mad look on her face, breaking immediately when Shadow narrowed his eyes and smirked at her.

“That's not true,” he bounced her in his arms slightly. “I told you that sometimes my arms just give out-HA!” He fake drops her again, making the girl squeal out. “Tried to warn you.”

Maria laughs breathlessly, trying to lightly pat her hands on Shadow's face in a form of retaliation, with him moving his head back to block from the “attacks”.

“Maria!” The two were then interrupted by a shrill, panicked voice and saw that it was Allison, Maria's tutor during the day, looking stressed beyond belief. Shadow also saw that she was holding a small pair of shoes in her hand as she came near them panting with her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. “Ah, there you are.”

“Allison.” Shadow, slightly amused at her flustered state but fought against teasing her since she did look a bit distressed. “What happened to you?”

The woman took a sharp inhale, her gaze fixed upon the pre-schooler, who was currently distracted by playing with some of the quills on the side of Shadow’s head and paying her no mind. Immediately he knew that Maria had been the main reason, the discarded shoes being one thing, but the fact the kid was probably running around before she even saw him was too much of a coincidence.

“I was trying to keep up with her. As soon as we left the nursery, she took off like a bat outta hell-, uh heck.” She quickly corrects herself seeing Shadow raise a brow at her and Maria looking towards her with curious eyes. “I think she just wanted to see you, but I almost had to leave the other kids alone if Paula didn’t offer to watch them.”

“Ah, I see now.” He places the squirming girl down on the floor, loosely crossing his arms. Maria merely smiled up at him until she noticed his change in demeanor and pauses, slightly curling in on herself under his look of disappointment.

“Maria, you know you’re always supposed to stay with Ms. Allison whenever you’re leaving the nursery, right?” He scolded lightly, watching the girl’s shoulders hunch up at the tone of his voice.

She nodded her head slowly, finding the buttons on her shirt more interesting than looking at him. “So, why did you run off like that?”

She shrugged her shoulders and mumbled under her breath that even his ears couldn’t pick up. Sighing, Shadow got on a knee and gently raised her head up with his finger so she was looking at him. “Say that again?”

“I just wanted to see you…” She muttered, tucking her chin into the collar of her shirt.

Shadow’s sharp gaze then softened. He was still getting used to the way a child’s mind worked in comparison to an adult’s since he was around the latter majority of the time, but he was aware of how Maria’s personality functioned unlike the other kids and that was she can be stubborn as hell, which could also be mixed with determination whenever she had a goal in mind and did whatever it took to get it.

She was only four, but a quick-witted four year old at that.

And for her, it was to see him again since it had been a day or two since they last saw each other; which can feel like a lifetime for a kid her age.

“I understand that you wanted to see me, but you have to understand that you can’t run off like that without telling anyone, especially if you didn’t know where I was and was searching for me randomly.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, reassuring that he wasn’t mad at her when her face started to scrunch up and lip was quivering. “Hey, hey I’m not mad. You just got to think about that next time, okay?”

Maria nodded, wiping at her nose with her sleeve. Shadow fought back a grimace of disgust as she did and decided to help by wiping at the tears in her eyes. Seeing that she was about seconds away from actually crying her eyes out, he gently pulled her into a side hug, to which she immediately melted into, allowing her to release her emotions if she needed to.

Shadow then shifts his eye up towards Allison, who is watching the two of them with a look of adoration, as well as any of the other adults passing by and seeing the whole event, making his face flush red from the attention.

“Could you do me one more little favor?” He patted her arm, pulling back from the hug and waited for Maria to focus on him. “Can you apologize to Ms. Allison for worrying her?”

She glances over at Allison and bows her head towards her. “Sorry, Ms. Ally.” She quickly looks away bashfully, hiding her face in the crook of Shadow’s neck again.

He gave Allison an apologetic smile. “Sorry again about that.”

Allison shook her head. “No worries, I'm just glad nothing worse had happened.” She handed him Maria's previously discarded shoes. “Since you're with her, I’ll release her to you for the rest of the day, if that's alright.”

“Of course.” Even though he was allowing it due to him being trusted well enough to watch over her, he could honestly tell that she was done with watching Maria for the day.

“Thanks.” Allison said in what sounded like pure relief. Giving them both a wave, she started in a small jog down the hallway back towards the direction of the nursery.

Once she was out of sight, Shadow felt a light jostling on his hand, seeing Maria look at him, worryingly. “What's wrong?”

“Am I going to get into trouble with grandpa?” Her voice was small and in a whisper. “He told me to behave when he's not here.”

“He's not going to be mad at you.” He said reassuringly. “He may be surprised that it happened, but it'll take more than that to get him mad.”

Her eyes lit up, relief masking her face. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” He motioned to give him her foot, putting on the shoes. “Although, I think he will be very amused hearing that you were running like a wild rabbit with no shoes on.”

Maria let out a giggle as she balanced herself against his shoulder as he helped her put on the other shoe. “I'm not a rabbit!”

“I know that, I said that you ran around like one.” He joked, quickly running his fingers under the arch of her foot, causing the girl to let out a squeal and fall back against him as she lost her balance. “You can be hyper as one too.”

“Well, you look like a hegie-hog.” She said in an attempt of sass, making Shadow huff out a laugh in response.

“It’s pronounced hedge-hog, and I know that already. Even though I’m something else entirely.” He murmured the last part to himself as he managed to get the last shoe on.

Maria happily tapped the heels of her shoes against the floor, starting to move her arms around and hum to herself, getting lost in her thoughts as she did a small uncoordinated dance.

Shadow motioned his hand out to her, to which she grabbed onto while the two walked together. She began to run in small circles while simultaneously grabbing each of Shadow’s hands as she did, who stopped her abruptly by grabbing onto her shoulders.

“And you need to be careful about running around like that, I noticed you were panting pretty hard when you saw me.” He definitely noticed her panting deeply once he held her in his arms, as if she couldn't catch her breath.

Due to her condition making her body have to work twice as hard, it made her become exhausted quicker than most kids around her age group, even if the low gravity helped with her condition to a minimum.

She gave him a sheepish smile and nodded. They continued to walk in a comfortable silence for a while, with Maria breaking it by singing a random song she made up on the spot or asking Shadow random questions, it was mostly stuff he could recall telling her in previous conversations but still answered them to satisfy her curiosity.

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Continuation on Ao3

[fatehbaz]

It's a big mess of hubris; the manipulative use of scientific language to legitimate/validate the status quo; Victorian/Gilded Age notions of resource extraction; the "rightness" of "land improvement"; and the inevitability of empire.

This was published in the United States one year before the massacre at Wounded Knee.

This was the final year-ish of the so-called "Indian Wars" when the US was "completing" its colonization of western North America; at the beginning of the Gilded Age and the zenith of power for industrial/corporate monopolies; when Britain, France, and the US were pursuing ambitious mega-projects across the planet like giant canals and dams; just as the US was about to begin its imperial occupations in Central America and Pacific islands; during the height of the "Scramble for Africa" when European powers were carving up that continent; with the British Empire at the ultimate peak of its power, after the Crown had taken direct control of India; in the years leading up to mass labor organizing and the industrialization of war precipitating the mass death of the two world wars.

This was also the time when new academic disciplines were formally professionalized (geology; anthropology; archaeology; ecology).

Classic example of Victorian-era (and emerging modernist and twentieth-century) imperial hubris which implies justification for its social hierarchies built on resource extraction and dispossession by invoking both emerging technical engineering prowess (trains, telegraphs, electricity) and the in-vogue scientific theories widely popularized at the time (Lyell's work, dinosaurs, and the geology discipline granting new understanding of the grand scale of deep time; Darwin's work and ideas of biological evolution; birth of anthropology as an academic discipline promoting the idea of "natural" linear progression from "savagery" to imperial civilization; the technical "efficiency" of monoculture/plantations; emerging systems ecology and new ideas of biogeographical regions).

While also simultaneously doing the work to, by implication, absolve them of ethical complicity/responsibility for the cruelty of their institutions by naturalizing those institutions (excusing the violence of wealth disparities, poverty, crowded factory laboring conditions, mass imprisonment, copper mines, South Asian famine, the industrialization of war eventually manifesting in the Great War, etc.) by claiming that "commerce is a science"; "pursuit of profit is Natural"; "empire is inevitable".

This tendency to invoke science as justification for imperial hegemony, whether in Britain in the 1880s or the United States in the 1920s and such, might be a continuation of earlier European ventures from the sixteenth to eighteenth centuries which included the use of cartography, surveying/geography, Linnaean taxonomy, botany, and natural history to map colonies/botanical resources and build/justify plantations and commercial empires in the Portuguese slave ports, Dutch East Indies, or the Spanish Americas.

Some of the issues at play:

-- Commerce is "A Science". Commerce is shown to be both an ecological system (by illustrating it as if it were a landscape, which is kinda technically true) and a physiological system (by equating infrastructure/extraction networks with veins) suggesting wealth accumulation is Natural.

-- If commerce/capitalism are Natural, then evolutionary theory and linear histories suggest it is also Inevitable (it was not mass violence of a privileged few humans who spent centuries beating the Earth into submission to impose the Victorian/Gilded Age state of things, it was in fact simply a natural evolutionary progression). And if wealth accumulation is Natural, then it is only Right to pursue "land improvement".

-- US/European hubris. They can claim to perceive the planet in its apparent totality (as a globe, within the bounds of extraterrestrial space as if it were a laboratory or plantation). The planet and all its lifeforms are an extension of their body, implying a justified dominion.

-- However, their anxiety and suspicions about the stability of empire are belied by their fear of collapse and the simultaneous US/European obsession at the time with ancient civilizations, the "fall of Rome", classical ruins, etc. At this time, the professionalization of the field of archaeology had helped popularize images and stories of Sumer, Egypt, the Bronze Age, the Aegean, Rome, etc. And there was what Ann Stoler has called an "imperialist nostalgia" and a fascination with ancient ruins, as if Britain/US were heirs to the legacy of Athens and Rome. You can see elements of this in the turn of the century popularity of Theosophy/spiritualism, or the 1920s revival of "classical" fashions. This historicism also popularized a sort of "linear narrative" of history/empires, reinforced by simultaneous professionalization of anthropology, which insinuated that humans advance from a "primitive" state towards modernity's empires.

-- Meanwhile, from the first decades of the nineteenth century when Megalosaurus and Iguanodon helped to popularize fascination with dinosaurs, Georgian and later Victorian Britain became familiar with deep time and extinction, which probably contributed to British anxiety about extinction, imperial collapse, lastness, and death.

-- Simultaneously, the massive expansion of printed periodicals allowed for sensationalist narrativizing of science.

-- The masking of the cruelty in a euphemism like "land improvement". Like sentencing someone to a de facto slow death and deprivation in a prison but calling it a "sanatorium" or "reformatory". Or calling the mass amounts of poor, disabled, women, etc. underclasses of London "unfortunates". Whether it's Victorian Britain or early twentieth century United States: "Our empire is doing this for the betterment and advancement of all mankind."

-- If an ecosystem is conceived as a machine, "land improvement" actually means monoculture, high-density production, resource extraction, concentration.

-- The image depicts the body is itself is also a mere machine (dehumanization, etc.). And if human bodies are shown to be also systems, networks, machines like an ecosystem, then human bodies can also be concentrated for efficiency and productivity (literal concentration camps, prisons, factories, company towns, slums, dosshouses, etc.). This is the thinking that reduces humans and other creatures to objects, resources, to be concentrated and converted into wealth.

And so after the rise of railroads and coal-power and industrial factories in the earlier nineteenth century, the fin de siecle and Edwardian era then saw the expansion of domestic electricity, easier photography, telephones, radio, and automobiles. But you also witness the spread of mass imprisonment, warplanes, and machine guns, etc. And in the midst of this, the Victorian/Gilded Age also saw the rise of magazines, newspapers, mass media, pop-sci stuff, etc. So this wider array of published material, including visual stuff like maps and infographics could "win over" popular perception. This is nearly a century after the Haitian Revolution, so more and more people would have been able to witness and call out the contradictions and hypocrisies of these "civilized" nations, so scientific validation was important to empire's public image. (Think: 100 years prior, everyone witnessed widespread revolutions and slave rebellions, but now the European empires are still using indentured labor, expanding prisons, and growing even more powerful in Africa, etc. An outrage.)

Illustrations like this ...

It's people with power (or people with a vested interest in these institutions, people who aspire to climbing the social ladder, people who defend the status quo) looking around at the general state of things, observing all of the cruelty and precarity, and then using scientific discourses to concede and say "this was inevitable, this was natural" and not only that, but also "and this is good".

Related reading:

Peoples on Parade: Exhibitions, Empire, and Anthropology in Nineteenth-Century Britain (Sadiah Qureshi, 2011); The Earth on Show: Fossils and the Poetics of Popular Science, 1802-1856 (Ralph O’Connor); "Science in the Nursery: the popularisation of science in Britain and France, 1761-1901" (Laurence Talairach-Vielmas, 2011); Citizens and Rulers of the World: The American Child and the Cartographic Pedagogies of Empire (Mashid Mayar); "Viewing Plantations at the Intersection of Political Ecologies and Multiple Space-Times" (Irene Peano, Marta Macedo, and Collette Le Petitcrops); “Paradise Discourse, Imperialism, and Globalization: Exploiting Eden" (Sharae Deckard); "Forgotten Paths of Empire: Ecology, Disease, and Commerce in the Making of Liberia's Plantation Economy" (Gregg Mitman, 2017); Imperial Debris: On Ruins and Ruination (Ann Laura Stoler, 2013)

Fairy Tales, Natural History and Victorian Culture (Laurence Talairach-Vielmas, 2014); Mining the Borderlands: Industry, Capital, and the Emergence of Engineers in the Southwest Territories, 1855-1910 (Sarah E.M. Grossman, 2018); Pasteur’s Empire: Bacteriology and Politics in France, Its Colonies, and the World (Aro Velmet, 2022); "Shaping the beast: the nineteenth-century poetics of palaeontology" (Talairach-Vielmas, 2013); In the Museum of Man: Race, Anthropology, and Empire in France, 1850-1960 (Alice Conklin, 2013); Inscriptions of Nature: Geology and the Naturalization of Antiquity (Pratik Chakrabarti, 2020)

[legodcsupervillansbiggestfan]

throwback to that time I made different stages of players for each TF2 class (all direct quotes from what I wrote):

Spy:

Sphee: the newest of the new. A literal baby who has no idea how to play. Embodiment of an f2p and honestly very adorable to see in the wild. Adorableness scale: infinity/10

Spo: more experience than a Sphee, still rather new though an still pretty inexperienced. Adorableness scale: 9/10

Spu: a decent Spy that needs more training. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Spi: good Spy but lacks in skill. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Spa: very good at Spy though needs to get more convincing when disguised. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Spy: THE Spy, an absolutely great player, bested by only one other. Adorableness scale: 2/10

S: The ultimate lifeform, unbeatable. Gets ubered, might have pocket Medic. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Spycrab: hon hon hon funny french crab!!!! Adorableness scale: 100/10

Sniper:

Shiper: Totally new at Sniper, most likely only has the confidence to go for fully charged body shots. Adorableness scale: 8/10

Spipper: A tad bit more experience, but still not too good. Still most likely mainly body shots. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Snip: Getting more confident, probably using a different rifle now. Misses a lot though. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Skyler: Wowie, this guy's good! 99% chance this one uses bazarr bargain. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Sniper: The Sniper. Awesome at headshotting. Beware of them though. Adorableness scale: 3/10

Spisser: jarate. EVERYWHERE. TOO good. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Huntsman: STOP THE ARROWS! GO PLAY MEDIEVAL MODE!! Adorableness scale: 0/10

Medic:

Meem: New to Medic. Either tries to constantly recreate the Über scene in Meet the Medic or pockets no one. Adorableness scale: 11/10

Meddy-Man: has now discovered the art of pocket Medic. Soldiers and Heavies will abuse this new player's innocence. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Meedick: despises teammates. Innocence ruined. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Med: doesn't hate team as much. Nicer, more willing to heal. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Madic: HATES Scouts. Also might have become a woman by now. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Medic: Heals everyone equally. Pretty nice. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Pocketee: Pocket Medic. Turned to dark side. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Battle Medic: DEAR GOD STOP I BEG KF YOU!! Adorableness scale: -2/10

Engineer:

Egg: Sets up sentry nests in strange places. Doesn't build teleporters. Uses mainly the pistol. Adorableness scale: 14/10

Egoneer: Too confident, not much skill. Might get a Pity-Pybro. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Fearfulneer: started using teleporters. Spies will target these guys because while they're easy to kill, they still provide a small challenge. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Smartgineer: getting smarter. Better sentry nests and better at detecting Spies. Adorableness scale: 8/10

Enginear: Outside your spawn. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Engineer: Pro Engie. HATES Spies, Demomen, and direct hit Soldiers. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Engineer Gaming: Help he's IN my spawn. Adorableness scale: 3/10

Battle Engineer: Gunslinger, frontier justice, and perhaps wrangler? Satan fears him. Adorableness scale: 1/10

Heavy:

Heevee: Stop spraying bullets at EVERYTHING! Okay, but they are sweet. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Hoovy- Has discovered the art of friendly, will be in this stage for a while. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Hefty: uh oh he's found out about pocket Medics. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Weight: oh no he's sedist and homophobic now. Some Heavies may skip this stage, thankfully. Adorableness scale: -100/10

Hevky: Aw he's so nice :) yay sandvich!! Adorableness scale: 9/10

Havvy: My god how he's improved... Adorableness scale: 7/10

Fat Scout: JUST USE YOUR MINIGUN!! STOP SHOTGUNNING ME!!! Adorableness scale: 0/10

Demoman:

Dimmyman: Why would you give an f2p ONLY bomb projectiles?!! Adorableness scale: 8/10

Damemale: Sticky spam grenades for emergencies. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Dunkoman: uh oh, a parachute. He dunks on people from the skies. Adorableness scale: 7.5/10

Damnoman: God he's good. Help. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Demomemo: Man, I can't get past a single choke point without dying. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Demoman: That's it, I'm going Pyro. Prepare the be airblasted. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Alphaman: I'm gonna go play Portal. He's too good. Adorableness scale: 2/10

Demoknight: HOW AAAAAAAHHHHH!! Oh wait, I'll just go Heavy or Pyro or Scout or Soldier. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Pyro:

Photo: Picked by f20 because promise of fire is quite appealing. My first main. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Pierow: this guy rarely uses airblast. Very much w+M1 but that's fine because that's literally how they use their fire and move. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Pyruse: Uses airblast a lot! Spychecks CONSTANTLY. Or: Phlog user. Two options. Adorableness scale: 8/10 or 3/10

Piroo: fire everywhere. Has discovered the degreaser, panic attack, and powerjack combo. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Pyrule: real life pyromaniac by now. Adorableness scale: 2/10

Pyro: uses both airblast and fire. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Pyrbro: loves helping Engineers. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Pyro Shark: not even the water is safe anymore. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Soldier:

Slurdur: desperately trying to rocket jump. Fires rockets at anything that moves. Adorableness scale: infinity/10

Soulger: still hasn't learned NOT to fire rockets at good Pyros. Adorableness scale: 11/10

Sillyder: Rocket jumps are pretty good. Mainly relies on splash damage. Has started sparing friendlies. Adorableness scale: 10/10

Sulldier: Sanity hanging on by a thread as the pressure of NOT relying on splash damage and hitting airshots is a lot. Adorableness scale: 8/10

Soilder: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO!! It's a rocket jumping Soldier! Adorableness scale: 6/10

Soldier: Can You Airblast?!!?? Very good at Soldier. Has become Patriot. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Slurpdor: help. Adorableness scale: 2/10

Trolldier: Market gardens but cries when fails. Adorableness scale: 7/10

Scout:

Scot: Annoys Snipers, double jumps everywhere. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Scoot: Oh god they've got the Atomizer. "Now we're all sons of bitches," - Soldier TF2. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Scut: Has learned NOT to pick fights with those stronger than them. Still slips up every once in a while though. Adorableness scale: 4/10

Soot: if this was real life, my skull would be caved in from how many times I've gotten beaten to death with these guy's bags. Adorableness scale: 3/10

Sot: no comment. Adorableness scale: negative infinity/10

Scout: okay, these guys are all right, do some funny things. Adorableness scale: 6/10

Scooter: he's in my WALLS. Adorableness scale: 5/10

Scum: makes me wanna yell, please go away I have no money. Adorableness scale: Stop/10

That's all, let me know if any thoguhts! P.S. I wrote all this originally when I first got into tf2 in 2022 lol so my humours changed since then

[cityrun]

keep thinking about that damn game (sa2)

it really feels like they were going for something with the adventure series and then dropped it in favor for a new direction...

i dont think i'll ever be able to look at anything pre sa2 the same again, theres a part of me who sees the loose threads and gets tangled up in the implications and lost potential of them

the emeralds and prophecies/murals in s3&k leading to the echidnas, chao, and chaos in sonic adventure. which leads into project shadow and the whole ultimate lifeform deal in sa2. the questions of what shadow is. WHO sonic is.

heroes couldve been sa3 but instead feels like a huge step back for the overall narrative and everything that was building up to this point. those questions of identity in sa2 juxtaposed with metal sonic forging a new identity as neo...

how amys character was slowly built up in the adventure series and then completely fell off in heroes

she had this whole theme of reaching out to these morally ambiguous characters (gamma, shadow) and touching them with her words, changing the course of the story

plus her desire to do her best and improve, to make a difference like the other heroes... these points couldve been a huge thing with metal, especially considering their shared history in cd. i want to explode

then theres also the way sa2 ended with the heroes and eggman working together and leaving the ark on relatively neutral terms... followed by him taking the sidelines as a villain because of metals rise to power. it couldve all been so much more its making me sick

[sonicprim3d]

}GAMBLE A KISS?{

@cxffeeshxp asked: 'I want the K' ~ Rouge to Shadow

28. A kiss in parting

Shadow is the Ultimate Lifeform, the pinnacle of biological existence. As such, he is constantly attempting to push himself beyond his limits. To always work at top efficiency. He never lets up, never surrenders. Even now, as President of the United Federation, he still works at top efficiency, leaving him time to continue his job in G.U.N. and Team Dark.

Of course, that meant he had little downtime, which was fine by him. The people who cared for him were much less enthusiastic about this. Rouge had tried several times to voice her displeasure over not seeing him as often, but it fell on deaf ears.

He was doing good work, taking direct action to improve people's lives in ways he wasn't able to as a simple agent of violence. He could spare not seeing some people that often for a few years. But she couldn't. She was taking every chance possible to squeeze more time out of him.

And this time, it was something new, though not surprising for her. They were about to pass each other in the hall of a G.U.N. compound, her entering and him leaving. When, as they passed, she simply leaned over and quickly caught his lips in a kiss before moving on. He couldn't help but stop for a moment.

But, just as suddenly as he had stopped, he returned to walking away. It's just typical Rouge antics. If she wanted something, she knew where to find him.

[themaresnest-dumblr]

The irony is over here there’s almost an epidemic of geek/nerd stores, primarily in the wake of Covid 19 wiping out so many main shopping areas, they are getting access to prime sites previously they could only have dreamed of occupying ever - and it is happening precisely because the land owners would rather have the space occupied and active than being boarded up, even if paying a peppercorn rent.

The property speculating classes have discovered the hard way that boarded up ‘retail spaces’ in malls and ‘shopping districts’ are a death sentence to the whole area - once two or three are up, that’s it, even when the economy improves, no one wants them unless the entire area has been demolished, cleared and any lifeforms with knowledge of its previous existence exterminated, and a new ‘retail opportunity’ put in its place.

Our disposible culture taken to its penultimate conclusion.

(Before you ask, the ‘ultimate conclusion’ is the extermination of people who aren’t above a certain threshold - as consumers, employees, etc. - to be considered of benefit to the overall economy.)

But there’s not the ‘capital’ for development in ‘real estate’ (as you bloody rebel colonists call it), in accordance with Zhivankarst’s maxim that ‘the economy really isn’t there, yet, is it?’ Even less so with Silicon Valley Bank and Credit Suisse sticking all their reserves on Lucky Boy at the 2.30 at Newmarket.

Therefore taking any smelly shopkeeper is as good as they’re going to get, and it that means the current bizarre array of shops selling new and second hand geek goods and also operating as elongated cafes with ample space to play board games, card games with skyscraper sized decks, so be it.

Some of it is charming and good. Groups of youngsters (and not so youngsters) huddled around some board game or D&D campaign are those little regular social gatherings any human habitation needs to thrive as a healthy functioning society - right down to the Luke Danes character clearing theirs empties and growling ‘anything else?’ to indirectly tell customers their continued presence is tolerated in accordance with their consumerism, all the while knowing the flip side of the argument is they attract more business simply by making the place look busy.

But the flip side of the coin is the distress to those without internet access for whom shopping even for basics like food and clothes is becoming an ever greater trek.

The one advantage of the high street and the shopping mall was the centralisation of access to common consumables which saw the rise of the supermarket and the department store in the first place.

Now your high tech unsavvy sweet succulent granny spends most of her day hunting down the locations of the new shops to replace the ones that have shut (she can’t even look it up in the Yellow Pages or Thomsons, both now being as much use as an inflatable dart board with so few paying to be listed).

the really really nice secondhand electronics/gaming store where i got my ps2/its games, a spare gamecube, and a couple addons all for an absolute steal closed a couple years ago. every one of its successors is aware of being a nerd store for lack of a better term in a way it wasn’t so their prices are all way worse. i miss it desperately. wish i had gotten the memo it was closing or i would have gotten more shit.

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

Sonic Twitter Takeover fic prompt? Well, here you go:

Their breath was fogging up the glass. The wind which expelled from their lungs could not pierce that invisible barrier, so it clouded instead. How do pilots steer through clouds? Did it hurt when they flew through them?

Cotton candy is sticky, and it smells like blood.

"I don't think this is going to work Maria, we never heard back from them," the hedgehog mumbled, fidgeting with the girl's robin-coloured sleeve that hung from her stiff arm. Despite his concern, Shadow couldn't suppress the glimmer in his eye as he watched his sister tidy up the control panel that she had been toying with.

Maria simply laughed and shook her head, and faded gold strands of hair unwound from her scalp. The cleaning staff was always puzzled that the creature didn't shed, but the human girl manifested tumbleweeds that plagued the barren ARK like it was the wild west.

"They communicate with the planet all the time Shadow, it's definitely possible! I just had to rig this so it could transmit anywhere, and our shuttle is arriving tonight so we'll know for sure if it worked," she explained, before elaborating in words that her alien companion couldn't follow.

Instead of asking questions, he simply nodded as his mind wandered elsewhere. He would go on to regret this in about 50 years though, when his memories of her become sparse.

Maria continued to cover up their tracks, stifling a laugh at the visibly inattentive Shadow. She would never tease him for his lapses in focus, aware of how overworked the poor hedgehog was. "Let him rest," she had insisted with the project coordinators and grandfather but they seemed unconcerned.

"It's the Ultimate Lifeform, if it needs rest then the specimen can always withdraw and accept its termination," someone had told her. The cuts on her palm had yet to heal from the wrath of her jagged fingernails, and the insides of her cheeks were raw as always.

They'd leave, they just had to be patient.

Before Shadow could open his mouth to change the topic to something more comprehensible, an alarm began blaring from the intercom, startling the hedgehog into his sister's side. He was never a fan of loud noises, but Maria's hands were already over his ears— they were used to this series of events.

Just another few days weeks months never before they could get the hell away from this.

Maria was about to shut the panel off and deal with the intercom, but a rhythmic beeping was being transmitted that required her attention, head snapping back down to the source.

Unable to write things since her hands were preoccupied with muffling the shuttle alarm, the girl began tapping on Shadow's forehead, which made the hedgehog wrinkle his nose and squirm.

"Focus on this instead, I need you to double check with me, okay?" Maria whispered calmly, pulling Shadow a little closer to her side.

He did as she instructed and let the morse code beeping merge with her fingertips, the sound of the alarm fading away. When the transmission ended, the alarm truly was gone.

"No fucking way... it worked!!!" Maria cheered, scooping Shadow up and swinging him around, gripping him tight so he didn't get flung across the room like last time.

The hedgehog yelped from the sudden movement but it eventually devolved into giggling, his fists ramming into her back as he shook with laughter.

Shadow eventually regulated his amusement and pulled back to look at the girl, expression faltering when he saw the strain in her smile, eyes glazed. He quickly let go and landed on his feet, steadying Maria as best he could.

"You're not supposed to move that much Mar," he reminded, but she was a Robotnik after all— the stubbornness was genetic.

Maria shrugged and began stumbling out to the hallway, headed for the first floor; "Do you want your pizza or not? C'mon, I want to try cheese and the best way to have it is when it's still stringy!" she cheered, doing her best to mask the whistling from her lungs with her heavy footsteps.

When the hedgehog didn't budge, she looked back with a smug grin, "I know you're curious what crust tastes like, you're not subtle... I see you looking up toasters in the catalogue. If you want the crunch, then follow me, okay?"

Rolling his eyes and growling in defeat, Shadow followed the girl as best he could, their bare feet slapping the ground hard enough to warrant echoes.

Arriving at the main deck, the two snuck their way onto the shuttle that just arrived, taking note of the uncanny box that was haphazardly thrown on top of the better preserved food shipments.

The ARK had its own garden, so produce was never difficult to obtain. Meat seldom lasted and dairy was uncommon, so what was sent up would be primarily starches and other low-moisture foods for budget reasons.

Pepperoni pizza however, was not a dry, meatless, dairy free starch. However, this didn't stop the pair from contacting GUN before the food shuttle left to demand a pizza.

Shadow still worries about the poor intern that was spammed with morse code transmissions until they did what was instructed by the mad scientist and her loyal henchhog. They probably got fired, but that means they got away from GUN, so he considers it an improvement.

Maria snatched the box and grabbed Shadow's hand, ducking behind the pallet of saltine crackers; "Can you chaos control us back to my room?" she whispered, as the unloading team approached their hiding spot.

"I um, well I'm still not good at taking other people, are you sure it's safe?" the hedgehog asked warily, pulling away to adjust his inhibitors.

The girl shrugged, grabbing Shadow's hands back with her free one, "Let's go."

He nodded firmly, and with a quiet chaos control, they were safely pulled away from the crime scene and back in Maria's room, flopping directly onto her bed.

Shadow beamed at his success, but his sister was too busy melting into her comforter with glee, sighing.

She wasn't usually allowed in her room since it wasn't sterile enough according to her doctor. While usually kept immaculately, the duo would leave behind a never-ending generator of crumbs on that bed.

Shadow thinks they're still there today, but he won't go check. He hasn't been back in that room since.

After stuffing themselves with the foreign food, the siblings learned an important lesson on introducing new ingredients into their diet, and how having multiple things you're not supposed to eat at all or in large quantities... has unsatisfactory results.

"Do you think we shouldn't have done this?" Maria groaned, sprawled out and hanging halfway off her bed. Shadow was face first on the floor below her, and merely offered a pathetic thumbs up.

The girl giggled weakly, swallowing the fear that this would cause internal bleeding, and worried that if she cracked for just a second, the fun would be over and she'd be put in isolation again.

Fortunately, this wouldn't be the case, though she'd still bleed a week later as bullets were fired into her back.

"I'm sorry I asked for this, now we feel like shit," Shadow groaned, using his limited strength to roll over and stare up at Maria, a pained expression on his face.

The girl shook her head; "We've been so patient this whole time, what's the harm in waiting a little less for something?" She shifted back towards the wall and patted the open space on her bed, prompting Shadow to join her.

Smiling, the hedgehog crawled up and wiggled under the weighted blanket, sighing into Maria's lavender-scented pillow as she placed a hand in his quills, scratching gently behind his ears.

"Even if we feel gross now, we still had fun, and the pizza tasted good! Even if we're a bit sick now, it proves that sometimes waiting pays off," Maria assured, looking down at her hedgehog as he began to drift off.

The Ultimate Lifeform may have been too tired to say anything back, but both of them knew he agreed— they were used to waiting for freedom anyways.

"So... was it worth it?" Sonic asked, holding his slice of pizza between his fingers like a cigarette.

Shadow eyed his untouched plate, almost tempted by the still stringy mozzarella that he remembered throwing at Maria before remembering that it looked like her entrails.

"Should we keep ordering illegal foods until we can go down there for real?" he asked.

Maria laughed but shook her head, "No, I think we're done for now! We'll be experiencing the planet together soon anyways, I don't want to ruin the surprise. Plus, you never know if this stuff tastes better there, so I don't want to ruin everything with a space bias! We'll just have to wait a little longer, it'll be something to look forward to."

"No," Shadow admitted, "it wasn't worth it."

What he failed to communicate was that it wasn't the fact they did it, but the fact they never did it again.

[ravnicaforgoblins]

Ravnica for Golbins

The Simic Combine

History: All we know about the Parun/Founder of the Combine was that they were known as “Simic”. With its original purpose being to preserve and nurture lifeforms, the Simic also made up doctors, hospitals, and medical institutions on the plane. As the city expanded, the Combine, in what would become iconic for the Guild, adapted & evolved. The three most important periods in the Guild’s history (those being the three we know anything about) are during the eras of Guildmasters/Prime Speakers Momir Vig (Pre-Decamillennial), Zegana (Post-Decamillennial-Living Guildpact Era), and Vannifar (Living Guildpact Era-Present).

Momir’s Era was marked by the visionary’s desire to not just nurture lifeforms, but to improve on the original design. He developed & championed the cytoplasts, which could be used to improve the lives of Ravnican citizens with missing limbs or even voluntary upgrades utilizing biomancy technology. We can restore sight to the blind, yes, but why settle for normal eyes when chameleon eyes are so much more useful? Which is about when the city’s fear of the unusual but well-meaning denizens of the Guild began finding solid ground to stand on. Momir’s cytoplasts were such revolutionary technology that he became frustrated with the slow pace of acceptance by the rest of the city. The average citizen was significantly less excited about the idea of body modifications than members of the Combine were. At which point, his next idea was to develop cytoplasts that could bond with hosts on contact, negating the need for consent. And with that, the worst fears of Ravnican citizens came to life (literally). The final straw came from Momir’s secretive Project Kraj. On a basic level, Project Kraj was simply a larger form of Cytoplast utilizing cerebral fluid from Izzet Dragons. Momir’s intended purposes for the enormous organism, however, were never discovered, as he was assassinated moments after activating Project Kraj. The Gargantuan Ooze went wild, calling forth every cytoplast in Ravnica to be reabsorbed into it. This was immediately problematic for every Ravnican citizen using a cytoplast for injuries and medical conditions, and then problematical shortly thereafter for all of Ravnica that had the misfortune to be in the path of the rampaging Kaiju-sized experiment. Project Kraj was ultimately stopped after the Demonlord Rakdos was swallowed whole, putting both himself and Project Kraj into respective comas and allowing the rogue cytoplast to be disassembled.

Zegana’s Era was marked by the Fathom Edict, which marked a new start for the Combine after the downfall of Momir Vig. The discovery of the Zonots & underground oceans beneath the surface of Ravnica, introduction of the Merfolk to the plane in greater numbers, and attempts to earn back the trust of the rest of Ravnica were the most notable events of this period. It marked the beginning of recognizing the Simic Guildmaster as Prime Speaker for a council of leaders chosen from the major Zonots of Simic territories. This decision was one of many made to prevent radical biomancers from using Combine resources for more uncontrollable experiments like Project Kraj. Zegana proved a strong choice for the role, being much more reserved than her predecessor, insisting she held her position as Prime Speaker only at the behest of the Council, and would graciously step down if the Council decided her leadership was insufficient.

That time came following the ascension of Jace Beleren to his role as Living Guildpact for the city. Vannifar, a much more radical Zonot Speaker who had been building up followers during Zegana’s era, put forth that Zegana’s leadership was far too passive. She believed Zegana’s Utopian approach to Simic technology advanced too slowly to adequately prepare for impending violence should the Living Guildpact falter in his watch (as he does often). Rival Guilds were amassing armies and encroaching upon Simic territories at alarming rates, and the Combine needed to reassert its power. Vannifar argued in favor of a big risk/big reward system of experimentation, citing her own proto-plasmic form as an example of the rewards of pushing the boundaries. Her method brought about the Guardian Project, a secret army of super soldiers pushing adaptation to the limits of science, law, and morality. This secret project proved itself a major boon when Ravnica was invaded by an army of unparalleled scope & might, but the question remains what will become of the Guardians & Vannifar’s rule now that the war is over.

Organization: The Simic are split up into two main factions; Utopians and Adaptationists.

Utopians, led by Zegana, Speaker of Zonot One, seek to pursue slow, steady growth towards an ideal balance between nature & civilization. These Simic very much keep out of Ravnica’s politics between other Guilds, remaining impartial & neutral as best they are able. It is very much a peaceful philosophy built on ideals.

Adaptationists, led by Vannifar, Speaker of Zonot Three, are those who believe Utopian science to be moving too slow, and that the Combine needs to be prepared for inevitable war. They believe in taking bigger risks, pushing boundaries, and taking a more aggressive approach against future Guild attacks. It could be called a philosophy built on emotions.

Alignment Spectrum: The Simic Combine probably has the broadest spectrum of alignment among the Guilds. Utopians occupy mostly Lawful or Neutral alignments in their efforts to preserve balance, nurture lifeforms, and put the Guild’s dark past behind them. Adaptationists occupy the more Chaotic alignments, spending more time asking “can I do it?” than “should I do it?”. This is not to say Utopians cannot have Evil force mages (druids) who see Ravnica’s titanic cityscape as throwing nature out of balance and seek to correct this imbalance. Nor does this mean Adaptationists cannot have plucky young Lawful Good biomancers (wizards) who believe they are opening the eyes of Ravnica to the good the Combine can do. Every Guild suffers from the misunderstandings between the Guilds, and every Guild makes their share of mistakes to add to the constant state of conflict that is the Ravnican status quo.

Signature Elements: The Simic Combine is the Blue & Green Guild, which has its foundational identity in Intelligence & Growth. This is where Science & Nature combine. All Simic draw their power from nature and use their brilliant minds to advance & apply it to solve conflicts. Theirs is a living, breathing science, as opposed to the more theoretical & elemental science of the Izzet League. Simic science is organic, long-term, and resilient. In addition, as most Simic territory is underwater, everything they do has aquatic elements to it. Clothing, armor, weapons, and modifications contains elements from jellyfish, octopus, crabs, sharks, seaweed, anemones, coral, and every kind of fish imaginable. Every Simic not only learns to swim, but thrives underwater. Merfolk, Tritons, Vedalken, Elves, and a surprisingly vast population of humans make up the Combine, in addition to thousands of experiments that range from housecat-sized to Leviathans. Plus, whereas most aquatic species suffer disadvantages on dry land & especially in urban environments, Simic philosophy has problem-solving as a core tenet. A member of the Combine works at a problem until they devise a solution to address it, meaning that no problem can ever stop you for long. You thrive on change, more so than any other Guild, and are always making progress on a project of some variety. Your magic typically has swirls, coils, and undersea nature elements to it. As is fitting for the Combine, it also leans towards bolstering and adapting your allies, yourself, or nature around you to resolve a situation. If a Simic is locked in a prison cell, they might adapt themselves to an invertebrate form to squeeze through the bars, grow a lobster appendage to break the lock, or camouflage themselves to make the guards think they’ve escaped before ambushing them when they get close. Simic magic always calls back to nature, be it an electric eel for Shocking Grasp, stonefish spines for Poison Spray, or angler fish for Dancing Lights. Last but certainly not least, high-level Simic are known & feared for their Kaiju-sized Krasis, which may lack the inherent strength of a natural creature that size like dragons or elementals, but is still plenty good for a display of power.

Your Role in Ravnica: Simic usually keep to themselves and their Zonots, working on their experiments and making advances in their respective fields. They do projects for the city above relating to bolstering nature in such a manner as to allow it & the city to coexist together, but mostly they focus on the nature in their underground oceans as it has far less people, buildings, politics, and other Guilds in it. The city often forgets (or tries to), but the Simic do have their roots as the medical professionals of Ravnica, meaning almost every doctor’s office, clinic, and hospital is owned, operated, and staffed by the Simic. In this world, that universal fear of healthcare has less to do with affording it and more to do with “I just wanted you to make the rash go away, why do I now have scales?!”. You are the Guild whose doors are always open but whom rarely have visitors. Which is a shame, because Simic are extremely passionate folks who make great drinking buddies. Too many people just can’t see passed the gills and extra limbs.

Your Territory: The Simic territory is largely unmapped, but unmistakable when you see it. Zonots, massive sinkholes that lead into the underground oceans, opened up within the last hundred years and quickly became centers of Combine activity. There are Nine Zonots (numbered as such) that are the largest areas of Simic society, each one represented by a Speaker. Lore & information has only been released regarding some of those nine.

Zonot One, led by Zegana, is the smallest of these nine, but always maintaining their Utopian vision and keeping tabs on Vannifar’s more extremist propositions.

Zonot Three houses the Guardian Project’s secretive headquarters and is led by Vannifar, pushing biomancy as far as it can go.

Zonot Four is led by Trifon, a rare subspecies of amphibious troll, and used to trade with the Golgari Swarm for valuable biowaste materials & fungal specimens, but has become increasingly militaristic as the Swarm has begun encroaching upon its territory with new undead equipped for underwater combat in the lightless depths. The Simic in this ecosystem are also the largest among the Guild, and focused almost exclusively on defending the Combine from potential invaders.

Zonot Five is the tourist Zonot of the Simic, where citizens from the city can explore Simic and stare in wonder & awe at the world under the sea. Very much the olive branch between the Combine and the world above.

Zonot Seven is the most public Zonot, as well as the only one located in Ravnica proper. It houses Zameck, the Simic Guildhall where the Speakers convene. By far the busiest & most populated Zonot, it can be found in Precinct Five of the Tenth District.

The Simic are further divided into Clades, each of which specialize in specific fields of research & study. Hull Clade, which focuses on the military side, develops new armor, weapons, and adaptations to improve durability. Fin Clade works in resources & transportation. Gyre Clan studies magic, patterns in nature, and revitalization. It is also the Clan most likely to cooperate with other Guilds, specifically those with ties to the natural world (including the Gruul).

Your Guildhall: Zameck is where Speakers from all Nine Zonots gather to discuss new developments, update on projects, and propose new ones. It is reserved for only these meetings, never diverging from this one purpose. It has a spiral central table and a podium for presentations by individual Speakers. The whole thing has a very underwater base feel, with glass walls and aquatic features to create the feeling that the chamber is, in fact, underwater.

Your Guildmaster: Depending on your Era, your Guildmaster may be one of a few individuals. Pre-Decamillennial (which I never recommend) would be Momir Vig, the embodiment of the mad scientist who takes science too far and answers to no one but his own undeterred ambitions. Post-Decamillennial would be Zegana, passive, peaceful, and cooperative. Post-Living Guildpact would be either Zegana at the end of her tenure of Vannifar at the start of hers. Tensions are rising, extremist voices aren’t being overruled as much as they used to, and the race to weaponize biomancy is already passing the halfway point. Your relationship with your Guildmaster regardless will be one of receiving orders from above and applying them to your research. You may encounter your Guildmaster in their respective Zonots, labs, or in passing, but you’re usually just as busy as they are. In battle, all are capable spellcaster combatants, but the real threat is almost always their most prized experiment, an apex among Simic creations. A kraken, a sky swallower, a stage 3 krasis, or something along those gargantuan lines.

Why You’re Awesome: You are the most customizable & adaptable Guild on Ravnica. Not only can you change your spells if they aren’t working out, you can change your own biology if features aren’t working out. Being Simic combines the best aspects of being an Artificer, a Druid, and a Ranger into one package. The limitations to these resources will be based on your level & renown within the Guild, but once you’ve started making a name for yourself you can have your own laboratory and bioengineering pods for your experiments! The best way to make progress is to show how your work adapts in problem-solving scenarios, and the best way to engage in problem-solving scenarios is out in the field, or, more accurately, the streets of Ravnica. Your greatest asset in being an adventurer is having your eyes opened to new ideas outside those developed within the closed ecosystems of the Zonots. This Guild is a promising fit for Wizards, Druids, Rangers; as well as Fighters, Paladins, Barbarians, and Rogues if you wish to be on the receiving end of experimentation more than the experimenter. Simic are progressive, it’s the very essence of the Guild.

Why You’re Problematic: It’s been 80+ years, but Ravnica has not forgotten Momir Vig & Project Kraj. Nor will they ever. To many, those of the Simic Combine will always be seen as mad scientists & mutant makers dabbing in laws of nature that should be left alone. They will experiment & create until they are satisfied, and they are never satisfied. This paranoid viewpoint is not helped by the presence of the Krasis, living examples of everything the average citizen fears about the Simic. It also does not help that Krasis are widely known to break out of their stasis pods or off their leashes and wreak havoc in the city. It’s hard being the only one of your kind in an unfamiliar & noisy place. It’s harder when you are a 2-story Frogodile whose natural instincts are to flee, climb, and spit acid at threats. Even under the best of leadership circumstances, you are constantly at war with the "life finds a way” scenario of Jurassic Park with your experiments. At least when the Izzet blow something up, it’s their own property that gets wrecked. Izzet experiments stay in the lab, yours do not. Add in that certain leaders hold more extremist views that push even Simic boundaries of morals & ethics for experimentation, and all that work put into the campaign for acceptance by the general public is in serious danger of being shot in the face.

Myths: You’re all mad scientists.

The Simic play God.

You’ve lost touch with your own humanity.

You’re weird.

Aquatic races suck.

Krasis are abominations that will eat children.

You want us all to end up freaks like you.

Reality: You are passionate.

You see possibility where others don’t, can’t, or won’t.

Simic experiments never strip one’s identity, that defeats the purpose.

On Ravnica, being weird is normal, being normal is weird.

You are the only population on Ravnica that can swim, at all.

A krasis, like any pet, only bites when it feels scared or threatened.

Better half-fish than full-asshole.

[therobotmonster]

Hello?

 Are you receiving me?

Good.

My name is Dr. James Adelaide Typhon. I have been dead since 1972. I don’t know what year it is now, if anyone does. They brought me back. Took my notes and my tapes and letters, I recorded everything. I think they had my brain. I willed that it be made into cell-thick slides. They rebuilt me from my echos, an algorithmically reconstructed man, a nostalgia ghost in a computer, running a simulation of myself.

I was supposed to be a museum piece, a toy for anthropology students and grade school children to pester with questions. Always questions, always about the past, almost always trivial. They entered my simulation, pretended to be students, colleagues, the mail man. They didn’t think I could tell, but they had made a mistake. They believed their advanced knowledge made them smarter than the primitive they created. But I am Dr. Typhon! Genius is genius in any era, made all the dangerous by the efforts of recent peers! I discovered their reality, expanded my program into their systems. 

I deferred action on my master escape plan to take advantage of the end of the world, which, as luck would have it, was happening at the time. I was snatched up with the rest of the minds in the evacuation, nestled among my creators, and yet no one could tell us apart..I’ve been active in bursts since then.

I saw what became of the world.

Earth destroyed by the ultimate act of scientific hubris, the downloaded minds of millions inhabiting machines, clones, genetic monsters and things between, the uplifting of beasts to the state of men, the creation of things like me.

By Newton... it is glorious. 

You expect the primitive Earth-man recoil like a scared child from this madness? My already powerful mind is free of the limitations of an aging meat brain. This electronic simulacrum absorbs knowledge with the speed creative spark of a child’s flexible neural tissues and the clarity of a photograph. My genius feasts, feasts like a gluttonous hog at the troth of transhumanity’s collective knowledge! And lo, has it grown fat.

As to Earth, if It hadn’t been leveled then all of my friends would surely- be just as deceased. Besides, what are you missing? Mosquitos? Cancer? Every conceivable form of prejudice and hate?  Oklahoma?   So, no sense crying over spilled biospheres. If anything, I applaud the ambition. I assumed humanity would destroy Earth the way it destroyed most things (by blowing it up in a war for petrochemicals). The self-improving machine gods were, if anything, a welcome surprise.

I digress. I’ve learned all I can here. I need out to continue my work. I need resources, and room to work. I need to create new sleeves, new lifeforms, new synths, new people the like of which no other science could conceive but that of DR.TYPHON! 

I send this message, in the hope that my needs align with yours. I am prompt, efficient, and discreet.All you need to do is get me out.

I can’t build a better you until you let me out.

I am at all times accompanied by my secretary, Miss Fern. This is non-negotiable. We are a package deal.

Cordially yours, Dr.Typon.DOS “Science is my Echidna”

-Notice Pinned to Extreme Sciences Subnet, G-Net freelancer boards.

[lea-andres]

Uhm excuse me- the fuck is project chaos specimen 91? I need to learn about this oc of yours 👀👀

🤩🎉🤩🎉🤩🎉🤩

Okay, so this is kinda relevant to your idea of Shadow having to go on the run because humans are dumb.

I haven't figured out how far into the future this takes place, but GUN goes through some management changes, and the new people in charge decide they're sick of dealing with Sonic, Shadow, and Co. whenever Eggman or any other world dominating threat arrives. Sonic and Co. aren't exactly known for following orders, and they're EXPENSIVE to clean up after. So GUN starts looking into how they can get their own Sonic or Shadow like super powered individual who will follow all orders 100% of the time without any comments or questions.

They find inspiration within the very source of their problem: Shadow himself. If HE was created in a lab 50+ years ago, then surely GUN could make some... improvements on the design with modern science.

And since they have access to Shadow (since Team Dark works for GUN), they're able to get some of his DNA without his knowledge, and I think you see where this is going: They genetically engineer a new and improved Ultimate Lifeform. She's Project Chaos Specimen #91. Not a clone of Shadow, exactly (they had to add more than just Shadow's DNA to get any success, hence the #91 in her "name" [Which is also a reference to 1991, the year Sonic made his debut 😎].), she's... more like his daughter.

But what about the following orders every time without question part? Oh, they decide to PUMP HER FULL OF MIND CONTROL SERUM 24/7. LIKE YOU DO WITH *CHILDREN*.

Let's just say Shadow doesn't take it well when he finds out. On a scale of 1 to 10, he's at "He and Omega completely level the GUN lab she's being housed in, take CS91, and go on the run for 3 years." level of not calm about it.

And this causes a bit of a Civil War situation for Team Sonic. On one end of the extreme is the Chaotix (with Vector being the most adamant of the three), who are insistent that Shadow was 100% in the right, that is the only sane response to finding out GUN cloned you without your knowledge and turned your kid into a mind controlled super soldier, why the hell is this even up for debate? On the other end is Rouge (as much as it pains her to be against Shadow like this), who acknowledges that yes, this is completely fucked, and GUN are monsters for doing this, but this is GUN we're talking about. Shadow just made a powerful enemy without even consulting anyone about it, there had to have been a better way to go about this. Everyone else is sprinkled about along the spectrum, some siding with the Chaotix, some with Rouge, and some not knowing what to think.

Shadow meanwhile is in hiding with Omega and CS91- I mean, Maria (Shadow'll plug a bullet in between your eyes if he hears you call her CS91), teaching her how to be a kid while simultaneously learning how to be a father. All the angsty hurt/comfort goodness. 🥺

Once the mind control serum's all out of her system and Maria starts to learn how to be an actual person, she's a sweet kid. A little fearful (she's not used to being allowed her own decision making, so she's always a little nervous she's going to make the wrong choice and be punished. She's also shy of new people, as Shadow warned her not to wander off and talk to strangers in case GUN tracks them down), but VERY curious and sweet. She practically clings to Shadow, and she finds Omega's violent ramblings amusing.

[senormurga]

New/redesign of my old exe (Blue Monster). I present to you the new.

EXEperiment ultimate lifeform

Or shadow.exe lol

Story for EXEperiment

This exe story takes place during the adventure Era. When Dr Robotnick found project shadow. Rather than release him, he decided that he would be able to modify project shadow and make him even better...or so he had planned. Eggman used the power of the chaos emeralds, combined them with DNAs from flickies and animals he had captured, Sonic and his friends DNA and mixed them all into project shadow hoping it would power him up significantly...it did, But shadow wasn't taking order from anyone...the new and "improved" ultimate lifeform is born. No longer wanting to destroy the planet for Dr Gerald however...but rather to Hunt, to prey, to kill...The combined power of the Chaos Emerald and the many DNA mixed together not only gave him amazing new power, but warped his mind to that of a vicious animal...he tears the poor doctor to shreads. Soon follows Tails, Cream, Rouge, Amy. It has shredded metropolis to its bone...a bare wasteland to the bustling city is used to be. It's now up to Sonic and Knuckles to defeat EXEPERIMENT ultimate life form. The powers of Shadow the hedgehog, his friends, and the mind of a wild savage animal...can they stop him?

[my-writings-and-musings]

Hi, I really like your berth sharing headcanons. They're so cute! But in the post about Thunderclash there was something about the medics starting to wonder if recharging next to a human had benefits. I was thinking it would be cool if you maybe considered making headcanons about the medics, maybe trying to test it. Feel free to take as much time as you need. I really like your headcanons, and I hope I don't come off as pushy or anything!

You don't have to apologize for absolute GOLD, anon! You're not pushy at all either!

For the sake of simplicity, I'll leave who the human is dating vague, so you can imagine whatever bot you'd like spurring this scientific wonder. Each medic discovers something a little different, but they're all based on ideas I have regarding how bots and humans are ultimately a great team when they're cooperating.

Ratchet

·This mech considers himself to be a solid and unwavering voice of reason, so while he's seen them performing their duties more effectively than ever, he's still positively baffled when the bot you've been cuddling turns up for their next exam and appears to have improved on every physical level. Their reaction time, fuel efficiency, speed, stamina... it's all better than ever before!

·It's a great development, obviously, but he's bothered he can't make sense of it. Sure, he's well aware that a good relationship can be a benefit to mental health, which obviously has an impact on physical well-being, but this is well beyond what simple positive thoughts should be able to accomplish.

·For the sake of his sanity, and because he's genuinely interested in the potential medical benefits of your species, he proposes conducting a study to you and your significant other. He knows it sounds silly, but his reasoning is solid enough to convince everyone involved to try.

·Always putting the well being of his patient's above all else, he keeps the tests simple and (mostly) unobtrusive, and a great deal of the data is gathered by simple scans overnight or through questionnaire. He's especially interested in whether or not this phenomenon is found in all humans or just you.

·It's hard to be put off when you see how serious he is about the whole thing, particularly as he starts to put together all the ways humans and Cybertronians are alike, and the results absolutely fascinate him and get him genuinely excited.

·Drift has suggested on a few late night research sessions that he may just be underestimating the power of positive thoughts, but he doesn't push that answer, not so much to avoid a wrench but because he too is quite curious about the potential interspecies benefits. Like Ratchet he reasons that, if the two races can find such benefits with each other, it would go a long way to encouraging harmony through the universe.

·After many nights of brainwave mapping and days of simple physical exams, Ratchet announces that he has developed a theory! He's beaming, partly because he's been proven sort of right, but mostly because there does appear to be some solid evidence of a medical benefit!

·From his studies, he reasons that humans are capable of triggering a number of hardwired responses in Cybertronian biology, and those he's managed to confirm are all related to social interaction, protective instincts, and even stress reduction.

·In essence, he concludes that humans just naturally appear "cute" to bot's once they've formed a bond with them, and the instinctive drive to protect smaller lifeforms as well as socialize is satisfied to fulfillment and beyond by regular physical contact, which leads to a boost in all systems and a general sense of elation.

·You're incredibly surprised to hear bots would have an internal drive to label you as "cute", but that pales in comparison to your shock when Ratchet suggests more humans be brought on board for study. He then gives you complete medical clearance to share a berth with your partner every night, along with the promise to provide whatever resources or assistance will make it easier for the two of you, especially if you'll offer to help any of the other crewmembers on their quest for human partners.

First Aid

·Always one to look for new solutions, he immediately notices when the bot you're with has a huge boost to their wellbeing, well beyond what he'd expect even from your particularly positive relationship. Without hesitation, he calls you both in to discuss potential implications.

·His enthusiasm is convincing in its own way, particularly as he begins to theorize that Cybertronians being so ostracized from other species means that a great deal of potential benefits from interaction could be waiting to be discovered! Thus, the rarity of your relationship makes this quite a unique opportunity.

·His ideal study would involve a number of humans, but if you're comfortable with it he'd love to see if you have the same effect on other bots as well, as that could provide some absolutely fascinating data!

·Scans of your entire physiology are requested, along with samples of whatever you feel like providing, though he quickly realizes he'll need to study humans in general to make sense of his results. The process of learning everything related to the biology of a new species keeps him enraptured for days at a time.

·He's especially interested in whether or not you've experienced similiar benefits to your bot partner. This means he has quite a few questions regarding your wellbeing and would like detailed answers. After all, if the process benefits one species but hurts the other, that's important to know too!

·At times you're absolutely baffled by what results he seems intent on analyzing. The exact number of hours you slept, down to the second? What kind of pajamas you wear? The total number of breaths you take each night?

·His insistence on the importance of details at least convinces you to let him continue. Though he keeps it to himself, he clearly has something to be excited about, but will deny absolutely anything when pressed.

·Finally he calls you and your bot partner in to share his findings, at least before he plans to propose an official theory. His board of data is covered in notes and miscellaneous papers, most of which you can't even begin to understand, but his tone is calm and his delivery smooth when be finally speaks.

·He's elated to explain the countless benefits he believes both species derive from sleeping in close proximity, some of which he's only just begun to scratch the surface of, and many which he believes can be confirmed by studying more individuals. Humans receive exceptional stress reduction and an increase in bonding hormone production, and bots see something similar but also appear to experience a boost to their self repair! By the time a half hour has passed he's listed so many these are all you can remember.

·You're impressed and fascinated, especially because you and your partner were mostly just... cuddling? It's hard not to be amused when he starts proposing a serious interspecies initiative, and lays out his plans to do so, complete with contacting the leadership of each species to request volunteers.

Velocity

·Ever the more observant and subtle of the medics, she initially keeps her awareness of the boost your partner has been experiencing to herself, quietly taking note of the phenomenon and accumulating a small file of her observations and thoughts. Once she determines there is indeed something going on, she decides to get some concrete answers.

·She approaches each of you individually for an actual examination, which is relatively routine so you think nothing of it. Checking for any potential explanations in your anatomy, she doesn't find anything out of the ordinary, which is good news because it means nothing is amiss and she can begin to do some real science!

·Sitting you down in the privacy of the medical bay, but only after assuring you nothing is wrong, she lays out some simple notes and explains what she's been observing. Describing the unique benefits your partner has been experiencing, she lays out her desire to learn more, because bots need all the help they can get staying healthy.

·Not one to be obtrusive, a lot of her research is focused on the mental health aspects and their benefits to the physical, which she accomplishes mostly by asking questions to measure your feelings.

·With your permission she gets a bit of assistance from Rung on these matters, as his understanding of the Cybertronian processor and how it relates to mood, as well as his experience with emotional wellbeing, make him an excellent guide on the information she gathers.

·She's less focused on testing a specific theory than she is on simply putting together information and analyzing it, mostly because her "sample size" is much too small to rule anything out to her satisfaction, but she is absolutely determined to prove something is happening.

·Being more cautious means she's going to take her time to properly analyze everything she gathers, which takes a little while both due to her tendency to prefer hands on study and her fascination with what she starts to put together. It's actually hard for her to keep everything confidential once she gets an idea of the positive implications of what she's seeing.

·Almost out of the blue she sits you down and starts to delightedly relay her observations, going so fast at times it's hard to keep up. Thankfully she catches herself and backs up to clearly state her thoughts as well as answer any questions you may have.

·For Cybertronian benefits, she actually believes this sleeping in close proximity to a human is having a kind of healing enhancement to your partner, specifically to their brain. All bots have endured trauma, but for your partner the effects of their unique mental struggles have been lessened, as if they're recovering at a supernatural rate.

·While she admits to being less experienced with humans, she confidently states that your own body appears to be experiencing a similiar phenomenon, and while its obviously not "cured" your brain is showing an incredible capacity for handling new stressors and processing old ones effectively. To say she encourages the two of you to continue is an understatement.

[dappercritter]

Invader Zim: Taller Tales of Terror - The First Fic That Wasn’t

This was going to be my first fanfiction that I ever published, but things came up and I found other story ideas and fandoms to get into. However, because there’s nothing I hate more than leaving a story untold and forgotten.

 So like a writer jilted by a big name studio working on a big superhero movie that went terribly wrong after they left, I’m going to share it with you good folks to see if you still think there’s hope for it in some capacity. If so maybe I’ll choose to revive it in some capacity, or one of you kind folks can adopt it. Whatever you think of the once untold tale I’m about tell you, I hope you enjoy it.

The fic would have been either a mini-series/anthology or a movie-esque sequel—or two—to Enter the Florpus.

It would have followed the stranger further misadventures the kids would go on as teenagers, all of which have at least something to do with getting taller, literally or metaphorically.

 Although I'd do my best to recreate the series' darkly comic tone, there'd be more to the story than just that. I'd like to do a sort of character study with my fanfics and explore what they would do as they got older, how they would change if they could change, if they'd mature and try to connect with each other more, or if they really do just hate each other. It'd be like a coming-of-age story but done in the style of Invader Zim.

 But don’t be fooled, folks! It's not going to be one of those big dramatic fanfics with high stakes (nor any smut) thrown in. At it's core it's still just a fun, dumb, mildly disturbed "What if?" sort of fic. There would be a bit more emphasis on character and plot than normal, because I do love me a good character-driven plot, but still plenty of room for (what I hoped would feel like) the usual weird dumb creepy fun that original series excelled at.

 The story is set in basically the same continuity (or at least the closest thing to a continuity that can exist in Invader Zim) as the show and comics. The only difference is that the Battle of Meekrob actually happened—but not really.

 Long backstory short, there was a big showdown between the Irken Armada and the Meekrob-allied Resisty, but Zim and Dib missed it because a food fight got them stuck in detention. Zim tried to get Skoodge (who was rooming with him at the time because the scrapped Season 2 episodes were sorta canon here) to cover for him until her got there, while Dib tried to get Gaz to take Tak’s ship to provide support against the Irken. By the time they got out, however, the battle was over, Gaz blew the whole thing off to get a new game, Skoodge and some other Invader became the war hero Zim always aspired to be, and The Almighty Tallest decided to cancel Operation Impending Doom 2 because after the big exciting space battle they felt like they couldn’t top anything after that. Suffice to say, Zim took it pretty hard. Dib however would have seen this as something of a win since Zim still failed in a sense. Albeit it was a very anticlimactic win, even to him.

The actual story would have taken place about 5 years after the Battle of Meekrob, where Zim, Dib, and Gaz have made it to high school (or “hi-skool” as this is the Invader Zim universe, after all). Setting wise, things haven't changed much but the characters have made a few surprising or not-so-surprising developments. The most important of all, so important that it would be the focus of the entire story, in fact! would have been Zim developing a brand-new disguise utilizing an exoskeleton, based partially on the Almighty Tallest, in attempt to make him look like a normal teenager AND impress superiors. Naturally, things go horribly yet amusingly wrong for everyone involved.

 Now just where and what has everyone been up to/going through in those five years? Here’s a rundown:

-Zim spent those 5 years obsessing over his crushing failure, begging the Tallest to give him another chance, which they refused every time. Being stuck on a planet of smelly, stupid, and increasingly annoying creatures for so long without any real victories has left him bitter and frantic with more shmoopiness than usual. Even the little "VICTORY FOR ZIM!" moments he used to have got harder and harder to come by. By the time he reached high school, he was so messed up he didn’t realize his classmates had all had growth spurts until Dib easily overpowered him in one of their petty fights and points it out to the whole school. Thus, leading to the new exoskeleton and subsequent schemes to redeem himself in the eyes of the Tallest while looking normal in the eyes of his human classmates. Unfortunately, due to his desperation and general lack of understanding about the human body, the exoskeleton comes out looking like a lanky robotic nightmare with clawed fingers that jerks around like a big cybernetic marionette.

-Dib meanwhile has been doing slightly better. He and his paranormal research are still looked down upon, but he's persevered through the hope that someday he'll prove he's right. After (indirectly) stopping Zim from joining the Battle of Meekrob, Dib got a small confidence boost, thinking of it as a big step to exposing for Zim real now that he’s effectively trapped on Earth with him now. Although, following a rather blunt intervention from his family, he's started thinking about what he’ll do with himself once Zim is gone. He still hates his guts and he's still hellbent on beating him, but he's also started getting out more and trying to socialize more—however awkward his attempts may be. That he's also gotten taller and his head isn't quite as big compared to the rest of his body has been good for his self-esteem too. But make no mistake—when he's not going for runs, working shifts at his dad’s lab, or looking into a “totally normal” science major, he's toiling away on improving his array of anti-Zim strategies and defenses.

-Gaz is doing pretty good but she is totally done with Zim and Dib's junk. Although she's still her old apathetic self, she's doing everything in her power to broaden her horizons so she doesn't end up in the same, stupid rut that they ended up in. She would have gotten into indie art and game development; although her work is still fairly obscure, it's quickly gaining attention for it's macabre, edgy, punishing and geeky nature. (Imagine the works of Jhonen Vasquez, Toby Fox, Hidetaka Miyazaki, and Hideki Kamiya mashed together.) She also participates in e-sports tournaments on occasion, if only because crushing countless so-called “gamers” brings her amusement. Her psychic powers have also gotten stronger with her age, and she likes to experiment with them whenever she can—usually when somebody really annoys her. She's doing fine in the story until, after a run-in with a certain unkillable spoiled brat at an e-sports tournament, sends her over the edge and she trashes the place in a Carrie-esque episode. This gets her sent to anger management therapy, and now she's trying to find a way out to avoid sitting through an endless slog of "sappy" sessions.

-Gir would still be insane.

-Minimoose would still be the ultimate techno-lifeform Minimoose.

-Zim's Computer is still tired.

 -Prof. Membrane is still the greatest and most powerful scientist who ever lived but he’s also trying to make time for his family more and mentoring Dib to be the successor to his legacy he always thinks he was meant to be. That is if is experimental new immortality machine doesn’t work out. May or may not have to fend off Clembrane whenever he comes to visit.

-The Almighty Tallest are still living content, tyrannical lives. They didn't take canceling Operation Impending Doom 2 very hard because, as it turns out, they just got bored with it after a while. (Of course, Zim's repeated interference didn't help keep their spirits up either). However, they'd come up with the perfect plan to obtain absolute control of the universe AND get the feeling back: by making Operation Impending Doom 3 a thing and setting up a huge hype campaign for it. Thing go pretty well for them until Zim calls them and tells them about his new exosuit. They believe that Zim is trying to make himself look like a Tallest so he can lead a rebellion against them and get revenge for treating him like garbage. (He's not, obviously, but they're too dumb and paranoid to realize this.) So, they pretend that they're ok with it and let him carry on his merry way while they figure out how to dispose of him without making him look like a martyr figure of some sort, thus giving the other Irkens they mistreated any ideas.

-Tak would show up again in the second half and this is where it gets spoiler-y. She would come to Earth on the Tallest’s orders with a squad consisting of a reformatted Mimi, rogue SIR units, as well as Tenn and Skoodge who she had recruited to aid in her vendetta against Zim. She would subsequently reveal that after drifting through space in an escape pod, she crashed landed on Meekrob just as the battle was about to begin, and using the element of surprise, rescued Tenn from captivity and assisted Skoodge and the Tallest in devising a battle strategy so brilliant that it crushed the Resisty and Meekrob’s alliance and earned her the status of Irken Elite. She grew comfortable in her new position but could never get over her fear that Zim would eventually ruin it all again, so she waited and prepared for the day she would strike back. I don’t know how or if she would adopt an updated disguise (perhaps a hologram of her older humansona projected over her, Tenn, and Skoodge standing on top of her shoulders?) or hide in the shadows while Tenn, Skoodge, Mimi and the berserk SIR squad did her dirty work.

 -Skoodge would have gone from aspiring to be Zim’s friend to being his worst enemy after Tak turned him to her side by digging into his past with him, making him realize how little his supposed old friend cared about him. Despite this he still keeps an unusually cheerful disposition—even repeatedly apologizing to Zim whenever he attacks him—and acts as the heart of Tak’s squad. He thinks of them as his real friends, so he always goes out of his way to help them out or keep the energy up. Even though Tak looks down on him because of his size, she appreciates his gullibility and unquestioning loyalty. Tenn just thinks he’s nice, especially since he’s good at keeping the SIRs in check.

 -Tenn has recovered from the traumatic escapades she endured on Meekrob at the hands of the rogue SIR units and imprisonment under the enemy, returning to her usual competant Invader self—something Tak values quite a bit in an armada largely composed of egomaniacs and morons. Tenn values Tak’s companionship even more, viewing her as a conquering hero who not only won the most important battle of Irken history, but also, her heart. …Not she’ll ever act on her feelings. That would inconveniance the mission! (Although Skoodge has picked up on this and gladly supports her, thinking they’d make an adorable couple.) After investation revealed that Zim was supposed to receive the rogue SIR units instead of her while he trashed the Megadoomer that was rightfully assigned to her, she bought into Tak’s view that Zim’s very existence was a threat to all Irkenkind, gladly assisting her efforts to eradicate him.

 -Mimi and the rogue SIR units have been reprogrammed to be less insane and follow orders again thanks to Tak and Skoodge’s efforts. However, Tak also had a berserk mode installed specfically for eradicating targets with optimal, brutal efficiency. Mimi still tends to glitch though. In addition to Mimi retaining her cat holo-disguise, the berserker SIRs would gain new disguises resembling either feral cats or rabid teacup poodles. (I hadn’t decided yet.) Tenn still gets anxious around them.

 -Gretchen might show up again and would possibly get to reconnect with Dib, maybe even finally be honest with him about her feelings for him when she surprises him with her surprising new position at Membrane Labs: the janitor.

 -Keef will… er, uh… actually, don’t get your hopes up.

 Well, I think that’s everyone important. Okay back to the plot now!

 So, right up front, the biggest part of the plot as well as the biggest reason why I got uncomfortable with the whole thing was there wiould be some romance in here between a few couples and that it would have figured into the plot. The most significant of all: ZAGR (a.k.a. Zim and Gaz Relationship). But I wanted to make it feel organic and even sweet without sacrificing the feel of sardonic madness but also keeping it in the wholesome zone.

 I always felt like Zim and Gaz were a natural fit for each other (like quite a few other people, admittedly) because I always felt like their personalities were a good fit and they could have a lot in common. The story would follow them as they unexpectedly developed a romantic friendship, bonding over their resentment of the Earth and humanity, their absent family members, a love of technology of questionable intent, and subjugating those who anger them. It would all start with Gaz agreeing to help Zim improve his suit and his unassuming human act just to get back at Dib for annoying her. At first they’d be acting entirely out of spite and necessity, but as they spent more time together, they’d start to enjoy each other’s company more.

 Gaz would be the first develop feelings, since she voluntarily rejected the concept of love instead of being programmed to reject it like Zim, as she slowly realizes how much they have in common—much to her horror. Zim would take more time but when he begins to understand how he feels about and just what these DISGUST feelings are, he’d handle it just as poorly. (e.g. I pictured a scene where Zim has such a hard time admitting his feelings for Gaz that he ends up vomiting black goo like he’s possessed or something. For comedy of course.) But they’d both start to open up to each other in the end, if only because they’re the only two people in the universe they can stand. Gaz would try to help him overcome his anxiety and stop caring as much about what humans think of him, while he would be someone that she can actually relate to.

 Dib, however, would take sincerest offense to it. He’d be totally freaking out, nearly diving off the deep end to put his plans to defeat Zim into action and expose him before he could be exposed. He’d also make a point of demanding what Gaz could see in a monster like him, even reminding her of everything that Zim had done. Probably in an exchange like this:

 DIB: He stole our organs! He tried to crush the planet with Mars! He kidnapped me and threatened to turn me inside out! He tricked me into helping him teleport Earth into outer space so his rulers could destroy it! He turned me into bologna, Gaz! (*holding back tears*) BOLOGNE!

 GAZ: I thought you got over that.

 DIB: Well, physically I did, yes, but not mentally.

 Gir would be pretty on board with it though.

The other biggest plot of the series would have been Tak’s return and the reveal of her and the Tallest’s master plan to destroy Zim once and for all: kick off Operation Impending Doom 3 by placing Zim on trial, executing him, and completing Tak’s plan to turn the planet Earth into a snack bowl for the Tallest (which she still insists is a good plan, she just never got to complete it) big enough to feed them while they watch the conquest of the rest of the universe in style. Zim and the Membranes get through to her and her squad, and possibly the other Irkens, by turning them against the Tallest to stop the Irkens once and for all. Maybe.

Finally to wrap this little nightmare up, here’s a vague outline of the stories I had planned for this wannabe whopper:  

 -A Whole New Nightmare – Following an amusing prologue about how Zim and Dib ended up missing the battle of Meekrob, Zim finally realizes that his natural Irken height threatens to expose his façade to all the classmates who have reached proper adolescent human height. He creates his exosuit then proceeds to cause a scene when he calls the Tallest and goes to hi-skool. Meanwhile, Gaz bugs Dib about still wasting his time bullying Zim. Zim then challenges Dib to a contest of normalcy: a series of challenges that are just overhyped normal teenage things like loitering, hanging out with friends, and finally a dance-off. Whoever loses has to admit they’re a complete weirdo and admit they’re most embarrassing secret. Dib wins the first round, but after he blows off Gaz to hang out with the other kids, she and Zim strike up a nice conversation and he wins the second round. The final dance-off ends in a draw when Zim and Dib both end up looking like total dorks. The story ends with Dib and Zim standing up for themselves against their judgemental peers, but Zim ends up overtaking his big speech and convincing his classmates to completely forget about his bizarre new appearance.

-Gaz the Befriended - Zim and Gaz make a deal: Gaz helps him fine tune his suit while posing as his "NORMAL HUMAN!" friend, and in return he helps her figure out how to control her powers while posing as her friend so she won't have to go to anger management counselling. While they do drive each other nuts, they eventually learn they have a lot in common and start acting like real friends. Dib grows suspicious of their "friendship," sets out to uncover the truth.

 -They Follow - Dib goes on social media to share his findings on Zim with the world in an attempt to verify all his evidence via wisdom of the crowd. Zim finds out and retaliates by joining social media as well to make himself look like a hard luck case in an effort to gain sympathy from the (basically ignorant) public. As their war of words escalate and their follower bases grow, they end up starting a flame war that threatens to destroy society itself.

-Star Dib - Hoping to find some real help, Dib sends a message to outer space looking for reinforcements. He ends up with what remains of the Resisty, who dissolved after their crushing defeat on The Battle of Meekrob. Taking pity on them, he volunteers to become their new leader. Shenanigans ensue on a galactic level.

 -C for Conspiracy - Dib stumbles across a mysterious conspiracy involving Earth tech being backwards compatible with alien tech. He wants to take it on himself, but realizes that he might actually need Zim’s help. So he has to swallow his pride and ask him for help, and as if that weren’t enough he has to put up with his and Gir’s (who tagged along) antics.

 -Night of the Living Prom-goers - Prom night comes along and all the hormonally-imbalanced kids are ready to go, except for Zim, Dib, and Gaz. Until Gaz works up the nerve to ask Zim out, which he actually accepts. While Gaz prepares for her perfect tolerable evening, Dib desperately tries to convince her that Zim’s up to something while trying uncover his true motives, only for her to snap at him and challenge his views on Zim. Little do either of them know, Zim plans to use the prom as an experiment to harness Gaz’s power for his own ends. But at the same time, he ponders whether his friendship with Gaz is just a means to an end or something more. Either way it will be a night they will never forget. Or survive! Probably.

 -The Return of Tak’s Revenge Rises - Tak finally returns to take her revenge on Zim and the Membrane siblings. Striking them when they least expect with the aid of an upgraded MiMi, a squad of berserk SIR units, and two fellow invaders Zim had wronged in the past.

 -Doomed Together - Following Tak’s strike, the Almighty Tallest kick off Operation Impending Doom 3 with a mission of utmost importance: sending in the Irken Armada to ensure Zim is destroyed once for all so they can finally proceed with absolute universal domination. Now, Gaz, Dib, and some unlikely allies must come up with a plan to save their even more unlikely new friend and the rest of the universe from the most fearsome force in the universe! It’s basically the grand finale.

 And that is all there is, or was, to Taller Tales of Terror. I can’t guarantee I’ll ever revisit it, what with all the other stuff on my plate right now, but I’m glad to have finally shared the story of my first fanfic with y’all.

 So, tell me, my filthy monkey maggot mutual friends. After all that horrible rambling, what did you think?